Buzz Magazine: May 5, 2005 by Buzz Magazine

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Historic Lincoln Hotel

New Balance Urbana

Come To The New Balance Store

384-8800

Breakfast - Lunch - Dinner 128 Luxury rooms with a European touch. Indoor swimming pool & hot tub. Alumni Tap: $1.50 Drafts Miller/Bud Light EVERY DAY

ÂŠ 2003 New Balance Shoe, Inc.

209 S. Broadway Urbaana IL

Full Line of NB Shoes & Apparel N is for fit, not fashion. N is for technology, not gimmickry. N is for sticking to your principles. Real shoes engineered for real athletes. In multiple widths, not just multiple sizes. N is for New Balance. Find the perfect fit at New Balance Urbana.

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6 O5 | O5 | O5 . O5 | 11 | O5 champaign . urbana

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I HAVE THIS TERRIBLE FEELING OF DÉJÀ VU.

BUZZ STAFF v o l u m e

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PHONE: 217/337-8337 DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

EDITOR’S NOTE

APARTMENTS

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MAKE A GREAT

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217.337.3801 We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date.

207- 211 JOHN

efore I start my actual column, I know there are some of you out there that read only the beginning of this (cough Art Mitchell cough cough). In light of that information, I’d like to take this time to say that the Buzz is looking for summer help.We have a bunch of people here at Buzz that are graduating and as most of you know, the Buzz runs over the summer. Hopefully some of you have figured out where I’m going here.We need some editors, copy editors, designers and writers here at the Buzz. Please send me an email if you’re interested.All are welcome to apply. That said, today is Reading Day. Us students get a random day off before the start of finals so that we can study. But some of us on the Buzz staff have decided that Reading Day should change its name to Recovery Day due to the heavy drinking that is sure to have occurred last night. But finals are tough here at the U of I. This is my formal good luck to everyone taking finals this year. Today is also Cinco de Mayo, which, beyond giving people an excuse to go out and drink, celebrates the Mexican victory over French soldiers at the Battle of Puebla. I honestly don’t know that much about Cinco de Mayo and had to look that up, but now that I know, I think you should know too. On a positive note, at least in my eyes, the city of Urbana passed the partner registry. I’m sure many of you have no idea what I’m talking about, but Urbana now has a registry that legitimizes couples, both same-sex and opposite-sex couples. The registry does not have the same legal weight as marriage, but it does allow members of same-sex partnerships to share employee benefits, among other things. Urbana is demonstrating some excellent forward thinking, and I’d be all for the state legitimating same-sex marriage. But, then, I’m not a policy maker, and few people read my column. I’d love to say more on the topic, but I’m running out of space. So one more plug: COME WORK FOR BUZZ!! IT KICKS ASS! And we pay you. - Paul

INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

We want to meet YOU in person! LOCAL CASTING CALL Thursday, May 26 12 Noon - 3:00 pm Alpha Delta Phi Fraternity 310 E. John St. Champaign, IL 61820

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• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

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Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

Employment 000 010

HELP WANTED Full Time

Volunteer & Outreach Coordinator, Habitat for Humanity. Full-time professional. Recruit, train, and coordinate volunteers for homebuild projects and HOMEWORKS store; publicize achievements, events, and volunteer opportunities; and assist with organizational marketing. Full description and requirements at cuhabitat.org. To apply: Send resume, cover letter, and 3 references to: Habitat Director, 40 E. University, Champaign, IL 61820 or director@cuhabitat.org. Deadline 5/9.

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HELP WANTED

Billed rate: 35¢/word

Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

DON’T FORGET TO BRING YOUR TAPE!

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Fall 2005. Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Secured building. $320/month. Available June 1 and August ‘05. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Available Jan 05 1 bedroom $385 Campus. 367-6626 Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550 per month. 367-6626.

Transsexual needs help with makeup. Experience 1 to 2 years. Contact Debbie at 402-0131

Now & Fall 2005 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kenny. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480. 1 Br. $370 2 BR. $470 3 BR. $750 4 BR $755 Campus. 367-6626.

NO BULL!

Free Best Buy and Campus Tan gift certificate with each signed lease! Remodeled apartments that redefine campus living. 3 and 4 bedroom apartments available at 810 S. Oak St. between John and Daniel in Champaign. 3 bedroom apartment at $999/mo. (only $333 per roommate!) 4 bedroom apartment at $999/mo. (less than $250 per roommate!) High-speed internet, water, and trash included! Laundry in building. NINE MONTH LEASES NEGOTIABLE

217-384-6930

www.johnsmithproperties.com

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Full/Part Time

APARTMENTS

Earn $5000 as an egg donor. Must be 20-29 and a non-smoker. Please call Alternative Reproductive Resources at 773-327-7315 or 847446-1001 to learn how you can help a family fulfill its dreams.

Organic vegetable farm, planting, harvesting, sales, equipment operation and maintenance. Full-time and part-time positions available. 217643-2031

Transportation 300 AUTOMOBILES

310

www.lookatusedcars.com

Apartments Furnished/Unfurnished

1 bedroom lofts $525 2 bedrooms $585 3 bedrooms $750 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking. Fall ‘05, 367-6626

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Furnished

1005 S. SECOND, C

Efficiencies. Available now and Fall 2005. Secured building. Private parking. Laundry on site, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

1006 S. 3RD, C.

Aug 2005. 1 bedroom. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

105 E. John

400

APARTMENTS

503- 505- 508 E. White

OLD TOWN CHAMPAIGN

Looking for a fun, energetic, detailoriented individual to work part-time (approximately 20 hours a week) in the DI/Buzz Advertising Department. Must be well-organized and proficient in Excel and Word. Excellent communication and analytical skills required. Availability to work during U of I breaks a plus. Great opportunity to learn and grow as part of a vibrant company. Apply at: The Daily Illini, 57 E. Green St, Champaign, or send your résumé to nelliott@illinimedia.com. The Daily Illini/Buzz is an equal opportunity employer.

All participants selected at producers’ discretion

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307 & 310 E. White 307 & 309 Clark

1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $545 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking. Fall 04, 367-6626

for DI/Buzz Advertising

HELP WANTED

Fall 2005 Prime Campus Location 2, 3 Bedrooms THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Furnished/Unfurnished

Administrative Assistant

Paid-in-Advance: 28¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue

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APARTMENTS

Part Time

RATES:

First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50

420

Furnished

PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

Cover Design • Claier Napier Editor in chief • Paul Wagner Art Director • Carol Mudra Copy Chief • Stacey Ivanic Music • Kyle Gorman Arts • Brian Warmoth Film • Andrew Vecelas Community • Susie An Calendar • Erin Scottberg Photography Editor • David Solana Designers • Nikita Sorokin, Sue Janna Truscott, Glenn Cochon, Claire Napier, Hannah Bai, Brittany Bindrim Calendar Coordinators • Cassie Conner Photography • Sarah Krohn, Adriana D’Onofrio Copy Editors • Jen Hubert, Nellie Waddell Staff Writers • Matt Pais, Randy Ma, Martha Reggi, John Loos, Brian Warmoth, Imran Siddiquee, Todd J. Hunter, Jennifer Crabill, DJ Bozak, Courtney Hrejsa, Brian Klein, Emily Cotterman, Syd Slobodnik Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein, Logan Moore, Jeff Nelson Production Manager • Meredith Niepert Sales Manager • Anna Rost Marketing/Distribution • Louis Reeves III Publisher • Mary Cory

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Available Fall 2005. 1& 2 bedroom furnished, great location. Includes parking. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

506 E. Stoughton, C

For August 2005. Extra large efficiency apartments. Security building entry, complete furniture, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

510 S. Elm Available Fall 2005. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, dishwasher, W/D, central air/heat, off street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. $525/mo. 841-1996. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

APARTMENTS

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Furnished

420

APARTMENTS Furnished

JOHN STREET APARTMENTS

58 E. John August 2005. Two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwashers, center courtyard, on-site laundry, central air, ethernet available. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 Showings Monday-Friday 10-5 Saturday 11-4 For after hours showings, please call Chad, 202-8517.

604 E. White, C. Security Entrance For Fall 2005, Large 1 bedroom furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com

509 E. White, C.

Aug. 2005. Large 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

HEALEY COURT APARTMENTS

307- 309 Healey Court. Fall 2005. Behind Gully’s. 2 bedrooms. Ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

HOUSES

DELUXE 2 BR

309 N. Busey, U. August of 2005. Fully furnished, W/D, ethernet and parking available. Close to Beckman. $595/mo. Call Chris anytime, 841-1996 or 403-1523

GREAT VALUE

306- 308- 309 White August 2005. 1 & 3 Bedroom furnished apts. Balconies, patios, laundry, dishwashers, off-street parking, ethernet available. 352-3182, 8411996, 309 S. First. The University Group www.ugroup96.com

602 E. Stoughton

Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet, and parking available. Must see!! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

APARTMENTS

430

Unfurnished

NEED A 1 BR!

Convenient 1 bedrooms near downtown Champaign now available. From $390. 508 W. Hill, C. 511 W. University, C. 515 W. Washington, C. These and other apartment locations also available for leases starting throughout the summer. 352-8540, p.m. 355-4608 www.faronproperties.com

Quality apartments and houses for rent • Many pet-friendly locations • Furnished AND Unfurnished units • 9 month leases negotiable at some locations

Other Rentals 500

• On-campus or off-campus • Excellent Tenant Union record • Weekend/evening showings by appointment

CALL US AT (217) 384-6930 VIEW OUR LISTINGS @ www.johnsmithproperties.com

510

2 bedroom and 7 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2004. 367-6626. Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2850 367-6626 Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2700 367-6626

ROOM & BOARD

540

Want community? Vegetarian meals? Affordable private rooms? www.couch.coop

ROOMMATE WANTED 550 1 bedroom, near campus $300 per month 367-6626

brighten someone’s thursday

place a buzz personal (217) 337.8337

OPPORTUNITY Enjoys working in a high paced environment Enjoys working with others Great sales person Looking for a challenging and rewarding job that looks great on a resumé Detail oriented Here for Summer and Fall ‘’05 If this is you, then you should think about a job with the Daily Illini Classified Department. Stop by the office at 57 E. Green, Champaign for more information and an application, or call 337-8337. HAVE A GREAT DAY!

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ARIES

(March 21-April 19)

The planning for a typical wedding lasts from 7 to 12 months. Getting ready for the birth of a child usually requires every minute from the time people find out they’re pregnant until the delivery day. I foresee you experiencing an event in early 2006 that will resemble both of these happy yet challenging events. It might be something like the birth or dramatic renewal of a relationship. Or it could be the launch of a partnership that will ask everything of you, and give just as much. I suggest you start your preparations.

TAU RU S

(April 20-May 20)

On a family member’s 60th birthday, the Japanese celebrate a holiday known as kanreki. It’s a time of rebirth, when the celebrant ritually becomes a baby again and enters a second childhood. Among the many gifts given on the occasion is a red kimono, which signifies that in a sense the person is now freed from the responsibilities of adulthood. I recommend that you treat yourself to a similar rite of passage, Taurus. Even though you may not be turning 60, you are at the beginning of an extraordinarily fresh new cycle. You deserve a red kimono and at least a temporary respite from adult burdens.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

It’s time to declare amnesty for the part of you that you don’t love very well. Forgive that poor sucker. Hold its hand and take it out to dinner and a movie. Tactfully offer it a chance to make amends for the dumb things it has done. And then do a dramatic reading of this proclamation by the playwright Theodore Rubin: “I must learn to love the fool in me—the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool.”

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CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

Every hundred years, says a Scottish myth, a scrap of paradise appears on earth for just one day. Hidden from the profane world for decades at a time, this little town, known as Brigadoon, briefly materializes out of the mists, becoming accessible to any lucky person who happens by. I predict that something resembling Brigadoon will appear to many members of the Cancerian tribe in the coming week. To increase your chances for being in the right place at the right time, you should not simply follow your heart. Rather, follow the most audacious impulses of your heart, radiate mischievous warmth, and be vigilant with your peripheral vision.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

According to legend, influential blues guitarist Robert Johnson made a pact with the Devil in a crossroads. In exchange for his soul, the Devil gave him tremendous musical skill, including an unparalleled ability to affect his audiences emotionally. I predict that you will soon be tempted to negotiate a comparable deal in a crossroads, Leo. Please keep in mind that there will be some extremely fine print in the proposed contract. Besides that, I want you to know that while the progress you’d make with the Devil’s help may initially be faster,in the long run it wouldn’t be anywhere near as great as what you can accomplish without it.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Of all the world’s landlocked countries, only one maintains a navy: Bolivia. Until 1879, it had a seaport, but lost it in a war with Chile. Over a century later, it has thousands of sailors but only a single sea-worthy ship, which it keeps docked in Argentina a thousand miles away. Its quixotic fixity of purpose seems to be a symbolic declaration that it intends to someday once again have land bordering the ocean. I see a certain resemblance between Bolivia and you right now, Virgo. You also cling fiercely to a starry-eyed commitment that might appear unrealistic to casual observers. The difference is that your dream, as opposed to Bolivia’s, is not entirely hopeless. You will receive a sign this week that reveals why.

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“The proverb warns that ‘You should not bite the hand that feeds you.’ But maybe you should, if it prevents you from feeding yourself.” So said the critic of psychiatry, Thomas Szasz. He was urging us to think about how our dependence on seemingly benevolent providers might paralyze our free will and interfere with our ability to take care of ourselves. In the song, “The Hand That Feeds,” Trent Reznor of the band Nine Inch Nails expresses a further doubt about the proverb. He suggests the hand that feeds us may supply us with stuff that doesn’t really nourish us and that is tainted by the supplier’s questionable motivations. “Will you stay down on your knees,” he sings, or “will you bite the hand that feeds you?” I present these views for your consideration, Libra. It’s a good time to re-evaluate your relationship with authorities who purport to be helping you.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

For about half the year, Cambodia’s Tonle Sap River flows north. Soon after the beginning of the rainy season, however, it reverses its direction and flows south for six months. I bring this up, Scorpio, because the astrological omens suggest that you’re now in a phase comparable to the time when the river makes its turnaround. The experience may feel a bit odd at first, but it’s completely natural. Go with the opposite flow.

S AG I T TA R I U S

(Nov. 22-Dec.21)

History’s longest conflict between nations was the Hundred Years’ War, which England and France fought for 116 years between 1337 and 1453. The shortest war ever was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. It lasted 38 minutes. Whether the hostilities you enter into in the coming week will resemble the former or the latter may all depend on two factors: 1. how open you are to learning from the other side; 2. how willing you are to acknowledge your own role in creating the circumstances that led to the dispute.

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Homework: What’s the single most important question you have to find an answer for in the next five years? Deliver your best guess to me at www.freewillastrology.com.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Studies show that judicious chocolate consumption promotes longevity. People who ingest it three times a month are more likely to live into their 90s than those who either refrain from eating it or else gorge on it frequently. The astrological omens suggest, however, that your health will be well-served by eating 300 percent more than the judicious amount this May, beginning with a virtual orgy of chocolate feasting this week. I recommend that you also seek out other experiences that generate feelings similar to those stirred by a chocolate feast.

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AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

You now have the power to modify three situations that are overdue for change. First, you could heal a nagging ailment. Second, you could expand your awareness so much that you will detect an important fact about your life that you’ve been oblivious to. Third, you could end your preoccupation with a trivial problem, thereby freeing up energy to be used for the first two tasks. But none of these things will transpire, Aquarius, if you merely think about them and talk about them. You need a special kind of jolt that bypasses your rational faculties: a new medicine song. So call on all your resources— friends with vast musical knowledge, Web radio stations like Radio Paradise or 3WK, the playlists of people whose taste you like—to track down the tune that will rejuvenate your soul. (Here’s one suggestion: “Stones” by Sonic Youth.)

PISCES

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(Feb. 19-March 20)

Sniffing basil and rosemary can make your thinking processes more agile and effective, say aromatherapists. You probably won’t really need any such boost in the coming week, though, since according to the astrological omens your mental faculties will be at their peak. But on the other hand, why not go for the super-brain effect? If you feed the odors of basil and rosemary to your already dexterous mind, you may break through into a new order of intelligence, allowing you to solve puzzles that have confounded you for months.

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jonesin crossword puzzle Across 1 Monopoly corner 5 Classic 1988 anime film set in Neo-Tokyo 10 Reports over the police radio 14 Princess Fiona, really 15 Dapper, as a dresser 16 “Ooh ___!” 17 Techno basis 18 Meal starter that’s happy on the outside? 20 Champagne flute part 22 “I broke ___” 23 Actress who’s mad on the outside? 28 Sundae-eater’s need 29 “Later,” at the luau 30 Article in the Montreal Gazette? 31 “X-Men” character originally from New Orleans 34 Old ___ (Connecticut town where a tick-borne disease was first reported) 38 Rush that’s feeling blue on the outside?

41 “No Ordinary Love” singer 42 In a bigger way 43 Presidential monogram of the 1950s 44 Worked like a flashlight 46 Indian, say 48 Videotaped, when serene on the outside? 53 Join the cast of 54 It’s always behind you 55 Comb-over-worthy, when fatigued on the outside? 59 PBS painter Bob known for “happy little clouds” 63 RC, for one 64 Mandy once seen with Andy Roddick 65 Involved in 66 Tools for a garden 67 “American Idol” singer Robinson 68 Band named for a river Down 1 Duty 2 Fake ID info

3 It provides a tax advantage 4 “We’re outta here” 5 Joss Whedon show ‘til 2004 6 It’s designed to come back to you 7 Follower’s suffix 8 Hwy. 9 Name associated with “The Fountainhead” 10 “American Beauty” and “Six Feet Under” writer 11 Pacific island nation independent since 1994 12 Bush supporter overseas 13 In a regrettable way 19 Miss Universe identifier 21 Yo La ___ (band that started in Hoboken) 23 Snorer’s problem 24 Incessantly 25 Put one’s back into it 26 Kicking partner? 27 Header on a blank book page

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Figure (out) Chain mail and such “___ complaint is...” “Cliff Hangers” theme music on “The Price Is Right,” e.g. 36 Palindromic person 37 Tree of Life location 39 Poems with six-line stanzas 40 Works on an A-frame 45 2001 Jadakiss song “Un-___!” 47 Clementines et al. 48 Hidden complication 49 “Bless you” preceder 50 Scrabble three-pointer 51 Tough “Jeopardy!” category 52 Third in 2000 56 Doc’s bloc 57 Saturn model 58 First word of a kids’ round 60 Make a choice 61 Piggish digs 62 Winning 2004 team, for short

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*.12+'$"2'0)32+

BUZZ PIC OF THE WEEK

Editor’s Note This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow News of the Weird • Chuck Shephard First Things First • Michael Coulter

AROUND TOWN The skinny on healthy lifestyles • Joe Plahutnik q + a with Martin F. Manalansan The Local Sniff • Seth Fein

LISTEN, HEAR Ear Doctor interview • Susan Schomburg Radio 4 review • Cornelia Boonman The Decemberists review • Imran Siddiquee Beck review • Dan McDonald Lou Barlow review • Brian Klein M.I.A. review • Imran Siddiquee The Hurly-Burly • Logan Moore Sound Ground #74 • Todd J. Hunter Parasol Charts

FEATURE PHOTO • DAVID SOLANA

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T H E R I B B O N FA L L S O N T H E D E D I C AT I O N O F T H E U R B A N A F R E E L I B R A R Y ' S E X PA N S I O N .

MAIN EVENT Bob n’ Dave • Dave King

ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT BFA Exhibit • David Ruthenberg The Secret Lives of Writers review • Brian Warmoth Great Irish Drinking Stories review • Brandt Glan (Th)ink • Keef Knight Artist’s Corner with Chris Folkens

Tbis Bond

THE SILVER SCREEN Loos Ends • John Loos The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy review • Paul Prikazsky Box Office Top 10 XXX review • Syd Slobodnik The Color of Money review • Tim Peters Movie time listings Slowpoke • Jen Sorenson Drive Through Reviews

THE STINGER All By Myself • Carly Fisher Life in Hell • Matt Groening Free Will Astrology Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney

CLASSIFIEDS

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Free Concert Sunday, May 8 7:30 p.m. Wesley United Methodist 1203 W. Green St., Urbana voicesofthespirit.com

Christine Sevec-Johnson Christine will perform her spirited, meaningful, and new original contemporary Christian songs that range from sophisticated to fun. This music is hauntingly beautiful with styles ranging from Jazz to Blues to Broadway Musical to Gospel to Country to Traditional Ballad. There will also be a few surprises you won’t want to miss so be sure to come!

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Jeanette Hall, 29, one of the world’s few female taxidermists, enjoyed a mainstream practice in Nevada (elk heads, bear rugs, even some novelties like deer testicles) until she decided recently to create sofa pillows with one side made from the actual fur of her clients’ dogs and cats (horses and cows handled, also), for fees of $65 to $150. Though her customers were satisfied (“Most people,” Hall said,“were happy that Fluffy was still on the couch”), Hall said others considered her work “sick,” and she was deluged with “hundreds of hate e-mails from all over the globe,” from “people threatening to burn down my house.” (Consequently, she has temporarily retired her pillow work.)

GOVERNMENT IN ACTION — Tattoo/piercing parlor owner Paul Collurafici lost a contentious race in April for mayor of the Chicago suburb of River Grove, Ill., the victim not so much of his opponent,

The most wasted of all days is one without

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Marilynn May, but of her ardent supporter, local official Raymond Bernero, who ranted publicly about Collurafici’s work. Bernero disclosed that Collurafici’s Web site previously displayed photos of genital and nipple piercings, among other examples of his craft. Said Bernero, “I’m a big fan of vaginas, but this is really gross,” “with stuff stuck through there.” Bernero later apologized for his candor and requested that people stop asking him if there was an actual “fan club” they could join. — Are We Safe? (1) Congress’ Government Accountability Office reported in March that, mainly because of gun owners’ privacy rights, the FBI or state officials were unable to stop 47 of the 58 gun purchases by people who were on the FBI’s own terrorist “watch list” (during a nine-month period last year). (2) A February report of the Department of Homeland Security’s inspector general accused the agency of intentionally disbursing seaport-security grant money widely across the country instead

of greatly increasing inspections at the 10 ports through which nearly 80 percent of trade moves (a practice that resulted in maritime grants for Oklahoma, Kentucky, New Hampshire and Tennessee). — The South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported in April that last year’s hurricane season in Florida caused 123 storm-related deaths, but that 315 families managed to convince the Federal Emergency Management Agency to pay for their relatives’ funerals as storm-related. And in April, the scheduled elections for town offices in Monticello,Wis., never took place because, as Town Clerk Walt Weber told Milwaukee’s Journal Sentinel, “We forgot.” (According to Weber, none of the incumbents, including himself, would have been challenged anyway.)

G R E AT A R T ! — To conceal an enormous open-cast mining operation about 10 miles from Newcastle,

England, and to reduce the cost of carting away millions of tons of debris, the mining company recently hired artist Charles Jencks to incorporate the waste into a reclining female sculpture, a half-mile long, running along the A1 highway, with breasts forming peaks 100 feet off the ground.The “Goddess of the North” is expected to take three years to finish, will have footpaths over and around it, and be slightly larger than the “Angel of the North” metal sculpture 15 miles to the south. — German artist Winfried Witt has invited about 30 people to his latest installation, which will be to observe the late-May birth of his and wife Ramune Gele’s first child, in Berlin’s DNA-Galerie. Though more than 100 million babies are born every year on Earth,Witt promised that his viewers will participate in “an exceptional experience” in that “man, because he is unique, is an existential object of art.”Witt wants to “show living people, perceived at the same time as object and subject, through a kind of magnifying glass and to expose man in the situations of his personal life.”

CUTTING-EDGE COW RESEARCH

Just

Animal welfare professors at Britain’s Bristol University, preparing for a June conference on Compassion in World Farming, said they will present research to show that cows experience pain, fear and happiness; can form friendships in a herd; are good problem-solvers (with encephalograph-measured brainwaves suddenly active when they searched for a path to food); and can hold grudges against other cows for months or years.

Another Night Out Drinking?

LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS

getting arrested

Joseph R. Holland, 23, who escaped in February from prison in Schuylkill County, Pa. (near Allentown), but who was captured the following day, wrote to a judge in March disputing the escape charge against him: (1) The warden never told him he couldn’t escape, he said (in his syntax-challenged petition). “(I) was never provided with any orientation, a handbook or ever signed any contract ... I was never informed to follow any rules, cause I knew no rules!” (2) “I wasn’t gone over 24 hours, and all my personal belongings were ever here. I had every intention of coming back, who’s to say any different?” (3) And besides, he said, the guards actually opened the gate for him (even though it was really for another inmate coming in, with Holland managing to sneak out at the same time).

having unprotected sex fighting failing a test DUI missing class STI damaging your reputation

La!!hT e" . e e cummings • poet

-JIM RYUN

oF thE

LEAD STORY

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Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.

y o u r e v e r y d a y n e w s but hell, we’re weekly

nEwS

•

92.4% of U of I students think people risk harming themselves by having five or more drinks in one sitting. Based on a representative sample of students surveyed at the University of Illinois in February 2004. (1 drink = 12oz beer = 4-5oz wine = 1oz shot)

Losing control can mean losing a lot more.

Office of the Vice Chancellor for Student Affairs

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all by myself

!""#$$%&'(&)

CARLY FISHER • STAFF WRITER

Expectations met at Sushi County O

vercast skies and excessive paperwork left me with a void that needed to be filled—a void in my stomach that could easily be satisfied with food. Expanding my cultural boundaries eastward for the week, I decided to head west: to Champaign’s Sushi County. Despite an obviously poor choice in the restaurant’s naming process, I was motivated by an intense yearning for cheap Japanese food in walking distance. This week I was joined by Sevinc Turkkan, a Comparative Literature graduate student who currently works as a teaching assistant in Allen Hall. I had received a couple of friendly e-mails from her expressing interest in accompanying me for the column. Surprised and delighted, she seemed to have qualities that would make for a great date: intelligent, worldly, an adventurous spirit for pseudo-exotic cuisine and lacked stingy wallet syndrome, unlike my last e-mail inquiry. I arrived a few minutes early and grabbed a photo copied menu at the front counter to read over as I waited.The interior of Sushi County had a noticeably authentic appearance of quaint halogen lighting, cozy, gray Formica tables and empty walls to match. It quickly occurred to me that this restaurant was probably more popular for its convenient, take away service than a date restaurant. Ordering is walkup/checklist style complete with a very bored cashier, staring vacantly into space. Items on the menu are either a la carte or box style, ranging from $3.25 to $8.95. Within moments, the restaurant began filling up with people, including the much anticipated Sevinc. A petite woman with long, curly brown hair and a big smile, she cordially introduced herself with the enthusiasm of an old friend. I immediately picked up on a charming accent, which she attributed to years as a citizen to the world. Born in Budapest, and raised in Turkey, Sevinc has inhabited several countries and experienced the romanticized vision I barely touch in my dreams. I quickly glanced out the window at a prosaiclooking Green Street and sighed. Extraordinary experiences such as hers could produce an air of pretension, but Sevinc was very genuine. She seemed pretty non-judgmental about the bland decor surrounding us and shared my interest in deciding on an entree. Unable to decide amongst the tantalizing options on the menu, we settled with the economically-friendly County Combo A: a maki combination platter consisting of six California rolls, six tuna rolls and six spicy salmon rolls for s o u n d s

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only $7.95.The 18 pieces of sushi would be more than enough to share between two people and would only cost each one of us a quarter more than the a la carte menu.As we paid for our items, we learned that miso soup was a complementary item for any entree purchased, and tea was only a quarter. So that was why the restaurant was so busy with college students! The miso soup was self serve from a crock pot on the counter, and the tea was self serve from a broken water cooler just beside it. Considering it lacked any actual chunks of miso, the soup wasn’t anything to complain about. After all, it was a free item. Combined with an engaging conversation about literature and my deficient immune system, the soup lasted until our entree arrived. Presented on a classy Styrofoam plate, we picked up our sushi from the front counter and divided the pieces amongst ourselves. Immediately, I noticed that the pieces were not very tight, making it difficult to grasp with my chopsticks. The sushi was pretty uninspiring, though the ginger and wasabi weren’t half bad. It wasn’t the best sushi I had ever eaten, but it wasn’t the worst either. Overall, it was filling and just what I would have expected from a place called Sushi County. After thinking it through a bit, it occurred to me that the restaurant’s corny name was not a poor choice but rather a fitting title for the atmosphere and quality of sushi served there. Sushi County is a great addition to the Campus Town restaurants because it offers cheap, pretty tasty sushi to poor, undemanding college students. Though dining with an interesting companion makes the experience a bit better, I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone looking for a romantic date restaurant. My expectations were met: I ate at a filling sushi dinner for an extremely generous price and met an interesting local as well. Sevinc’s expectations for the restaurant were the same as mine, so neither one of us felt disappointed. As a fellow poor college student, I will say that I am no different from others who are willing to sacrifice flair for price, and you will most likely find me dining at Sushi County again when I need a mild cultural dining experience. Are you interested in being featured in an exclusive newspaper article? Are you lonely and in search of a dinner date? Consider accompanying Carly Fisher on her next food review! Send inquiries to dinnerwithcarly@gmail.com. I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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I HAVE THIS TERRIBLE FEELING OF DÉJÀ VU.

ing for the team can be comfor ting even when they lose. Fallon and Barr ymore make a charming, romantic duo with offbeat chemistr y. It’s a fitting tribute to love and baseball. (Matt Pais) GUESS WHO 1.5 STARS

Ashton Kutcher & Bernie Mac Hollywood is in dire need of fresh ideas. Reversing race roles in a remake just doesn’t work. Guess Who should have been called Meet the Black Parents. For its unoriginality, stay at home and play Guess Who. And I mean the game. (Paul Prikazsky) THE AMITYVILLE HORROR 2 STARS

Ryan Reynolds & Melissa George The Amityville Horror doesn’t exactly break any new ground, but it is less laughable and maintains a stronger, more consistent tone of creeping terror than the recent Hide and Seek or The Ring Two. Like the poor family that chooses to live in a mansion with evil in its walls, this unnecessary remake of The Amityville Horror simply revisits something that was better left dead. (Matt Pais) BEAUTY SHOP 2.5 stars

Queen Latifah & Alicia Silverstone Beauty Shop is mostly a “woman’s film” that even appeals to a youthful male audience, with lots of sexy female eye candy that never misses the director’s gaze. It has undeniable crowd-pleasing appeal for those who like urban comedy with a less vulgar approach. You also won’t be offended by any harsh political put-downs of past civil rights leaders, like the first Barbershop film. (Syd Slobodnik) FEVER PITCH 3 stars Drew Barr ymore & Jimmy Fallon Fever Pitch understands that the people who have season tickets near you can feel like a family and that root-

THE INTERPRETER 2.5 STARS Nicole Kidman & Sean Penn If I’m not mistaken, a thriller should be thrilling. Granted, there are some nail-biting sequences and spine-tingling moments, but there is too much vapid space used for filler. The Interpreter should have been exciting throughout, not melodramatic in some par ts and corny in others. (Paul Prikazsky) KUNG FU HUSTLE 3.5 stars Stephen Chow Kung Fu Hustle delivers action, drama, comedy and even a little suspense. Overall, this move will make you laugh and then some, and just goes to prove that slapstick is universally funny. What more could you want from a movie? (Brian Nichols) MAN OF THE HOUSE 1.5 stars Tommy Lee Jones & Cedric the Entertainer Only a true pessimist could have predicted that, 12 years after accepting an Oscar for his work in The Fugitive, Tommy Lee Jones would be sticking his hand up the south end of a cow in the lowbrow fish-out-of-water comedy Man of the House. For some reason, it took three writers to put together this nonsense, and not one succeeded in making it funny. (Matt Pais)

MA Y 5

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MILLION DOLLAR BABY 3 STARS

SIN CITY 3.5 STARS

Clint Eastwood & Hilary Swank It does take an unexpectedly dark twist toward the end that should knock most viewers back a few steps. Yet, Million Dollar Baby never swings hard enough to send you reeling. It’s enough to win a judge’s decision, but it’s no knockout. (Matt Pais)

Bruce Willis & Mickey Rourke Sinfully sexy and deliciously entertaining, Sin City is pumped with more testosterone and male fantasies than a Las Vegas bachelor party. If you can get past its boorish, hyper-macho approach to the sexes, director Robert Rodriguez will plunge you deep into a seedy, intoxicating world of sleaze, deception and revenge. (Matt Pais)

MA Y 5

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first things first

Kill your tv

*,-(.#"

buzz weekly •

Before the idiots on it kill you

MILLIONS

Lewis McGibbon & Alex Etal There’s a tenderness here that belongs to Etel and McGibbon, two fine young actors who not only embody their own parts but play off one another so well that they work marvelously as brothers. The movie is undeniably theirs, two performers whose total age is under 20 but possess an innate honesty beyond their years. In a movie concentrating on what to do with money that you haven’t earned, these boys show that the greatest riches they have are each other. (Matt Pais) MISS CONGENIALITY 2 2 STARS

!"#$%&'()*+$

DOWNFALL Bruno Ganz & Alexandra Maria Lara A compelling look at the last days of Adolf Hitler, told through the eyes of his stenographer Traudl Junge (Lara). Ganz’s performance as Hitler has drawn wide acclaim. Opening at Boardman’s Art Theater. (Andrew Vecelas)

Sandra Bullock & William Shatner Whether we asked for it or not, Sandra Bullock is back in Miss Congeniality 2 to try and strain a few more laughs from an already used idea. While Miss Congeniality was fresh and original, its sequel falls flat on its face lacking any of the comedy that made the first a surprise hit. (Brian Nichols)

HOUSE OF WAX Elisha Cuthbert & Paris Hilton Remake of the semi-classic finds a group of teenagers lured into a trap by the owner of a creepy wax museum where the exhibits seem a little too real. Great, just what we all needed, a horror film with Paris Hilton. (Andrew Vecelas)

SAHARA

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN Orlando Bloom & Liam Neeson Director Ridley Scott returns to the swords-andshields epic genre he helped revive with 2000’s Oscar-winning Gladiator. Here, Bloom stars as a blacksmith in Jerusalem who rises to arms to protect his land from the invaders in the Holy Crusades of the 12th century. Ridley Scott + huge battles = money, until Star Wars comes out at least. (Andrew Vecelas)

1 star Matthew McConaughey & Penelope Cruz There is cer tainly an unfitting clash of action and comedy in Sahara . The characters are laughed at, not with, and they deser ve to be. Action-comedies do not need to give up on characters and stor y to provide action and comedy. (David Just)

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MICHAEL COULTER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

opening this weekend

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It looks like it’s time to clean

out the pockets and folders and wash the ink off the back of my hand before my intricate filing system gets out of control. See, I’m a simpleton and can only have so many things on my mind at the same time, so this should help. Last Thursday was “Take Your Daughters and Sons to Work Day,”or as they call it in the third world countries that make our clothes, Thursday. I imagine that’s a really crappy day to be a mother and a crack whore. “Okay, honey, pull your skirt up a little and ask the nice man in the car if he wants a little something, something. That’s right, just like Mommy’s doing. You’re doing great, sweetie. Careful you don’t burn your arm on the pipe now.” It’s probably not proper for bomb disposal folks either. “Okay Jimmy, we need to cut either the red wire or the green wire to diffuse this bomb. It’s your special day, so you decide.” Television was a little squirrely last week also.Thursday night was President George Bush’s televised press conference. It was sort of a pep rally to convince the people who haven’t given up yet that everything is just fine ... um, except we’re still at war and a gallon of gas almost costs as much as a pack of cigarettes. Strangely, on Sunday night, the irrepressible Rosie O’Donnell played a mentally challenged person in the Hallmark Hall of Fame Classic Movie, Riding the Bus with My Sister. Sure, it’s pretty arrogant to call something a classic even before it’s been televised but if you corner the greeting card market I’m sure you’re able to play fast and loose with the facts. If you can create holidays out of thin air, then hells bells, why not classics movies. The 30 seconds of the movie I watched were captivating, but I found it hard to believe that Rosie’s sister in the movie was played by Andie MacDowell. I mean, Andie’s not the hottest pepper in the basket, but c’mon, she’s way hotter than Rosie O’Donnell. I mean, if those two were sisters then their mother was whoring around big time. Genes should count for something when you’re casting a movie, shouldn’t they? I know Dick Butkus doesn’t act much anymore, but he would have made a much more appropriate sister for Rosie. For shitsake, at least their build is similar. So, in case you’re keeping track, let’s recap. The president, while somewhat retarded, was on television pretending he wasn’t. Roise O’Donnell, while being a complete dumbass, isn’t retarded but was on

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television pretending she was. Both telecasts were completely unbelievable and disheartening and should give all of America pause. Whoever called TV the vast wasteland should have stuck around a little longer. He didn’t know the half of it. The Michael Jackson trial is at the halfway point, as the defense is about the start calling witnesses. I can’t even bring myself to make any jokes about the molestation anymore. I mean, I feel bad for the kids that allegedly got molested but everyone else should probably be found guilty: Michael Coulter the parents, Michael, the is a videographpress, the lawyers and er, comedian arguably anyone who and can be watches it. That said, um, heard on WPGU the preview to the defense’s 107.1 Thursdays witnesses was sort of funny. at 5 with Ricker They plan to flood the workin’ it. trial with famous folks who will vouch for Michael’s character or refute the character of the accusers. Some of the possible people are Elizabeth Taylor, Kobe Bryant and Jay Leno. Wow, that’s a pretty special list. Could he not get any witnesses who were famous right now? Elizabeth Taylor was once smoking hot, but she hasn’t aged particularly well and should be used only as a caution to be careful who you marry, not as a character witness. Kobe Bryant, that’s like the rapist calling the pedophile upstanding.Talk all you want about Shaquille O’Neal, but it’ll be the last NBA title your conceited ass ever sees. Jay Leno, I guess he’s still popular, but it’s only because a little over half of the country is sort of idiots. Anyone with the first freaking clue will tell you Letterman and Conan are the true successors to Johnny Carson and Jack Parr. Maggie Gyllenhall got herself in a little trouble last week when she stated in an inter view that the United States is “responsible in some way” for the terrorist attacks on 9/11. Her Web site was flooded by ang r y people who took offense to her stance. Okay, I’m not standing up for her just because she was kind of hot in that Secretary movie, but maybe everyone should get off her ass. If you want to talk about how you disagree with her then that’s fine. If you want to boycott her movies then that’s fine, too. Whether you agree with it or not, she can say whatever the hell she wants. I get the impression several people would just as soon string her up right now and not think about it anymore. Remember when people used to actually think about things rather than just accept what they’re told? Yeah, me either, but I bet it was pretty cool.

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test between the individual and some other person or persons in his environment over the control of the

individual's body.

in the nation at 23.2 percent, CDC Health, a national non-profit health advocacy organization. figures show. According to the Journal Whatever the final shape of the stateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s plan to fight obesity, of American Medical Association, Sunderlin cautioned that it wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be a panacea. 400,000 people nationwide died in â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all about energy balance,â&#x20AC;? he said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The calories you take 2000 as a result of poor diet and in, you must expend.â&#x20AC;? physical inactivity. That was secydia Cox can easily recall It is a lesson that the Cox twins know well from their own difond only to tobacco-related ficult personal journeys toward fitness. the last time she ate an entire deaths and made up 16.6 percandy bar. It was last August at a Lydia watched as her roommate dialed one phone number after cent of all deaths that year, fig- another in search of a date for a male friend.A guy her roommate Brooks & Dunn concert that ures show. she attended with her identical knew was planning to go to a formal and needed a date. For many Americans, crash twin sister Maria. She chose â&#x20AC;&#x153;She was on the phone for what seemed like hours, trying to dietsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;whether the Atkins find the guy a date. I was sitting there the whole time, and it one of the new Crunch Barsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; diet or another oneâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and never even occurred to her to ask me,â&#x20AC;? Lydia recalled. the ones with the sweet caramel gastric bypass surgery are the fillingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and her sister had a Voted most valuable player on her high school basketball ways to shed the pounds. In fact, team, Maria said she wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t close friends with those in the Snickers bar. Americans spend $33 billion a year on â&#x20AC;&#x153;popular crowd,â&#x20AC;? but she had friends and even a boyfriend. For years, the sisters, 21, both stuweight loss products and services, High school, she recalled, was a good experience, though there dents at the University of Illinois at according to a 1999 study by the CDC. was the sense that for some people, her weight mattered. She Urbana-Champaign, had long indulged But losing weight and keeping it and her sister said that they looked forward to going to college, in their share of sweets, in hefty portions off, say medical experts, is a constant to getting a fresh start and to being around people who â&#x20AC;&#x153;would of home-cooked meals and the daily ritbattleâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;one that requires discipline, be different,â&#x20AC;? Lydia said, to being around other girls and guys ual of notoriously sugar-loaded, highsweat and tears. caloric sodaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;up to six cans or 72 ounces a who would see them for who they were. The Illinois Department of Public day and 840 to 900 empty calories. Their Instead, they became known as â&#x20AC;&#x153;the fat twins.â&#x20AC;? Health is in the process of creating a state self-admitted overeating, they say, contributed Though their weight had become a personal issue for them, plan to help tackle obesity. One major focus the twins said they had never discussed how much of a potential to them being overweight, though they didof such a plan is â&#x20AC;&#x153;primary interventionâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D; health risk it also posed. But they decided to make a change. nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t always see the relationship between their keeping children ages one bountiful portions and their bulge. through five from becoming â&#x20AC;&#x153;We grew up on a farm. Our mom stayed overweight or obese, said Jeff home and cooked huge meals,â&#x20AC;? Lydia, a junSunderlin, who heads the ior in agribusiness, said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t realize it !"#$% &''% &()*"% +,+-./% (&'&,0+1% 23+ project. The other is the until much later how much our family ate 0&')-4+$%/)*%"&5+%4,6%/)*%7*$"%+89+,:1 inclusion of health care compared to other families.â&#x20AC;? workers, â&#x20AC;&#x153;since they are the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Growing up, I never thought my -:877'(-.680;1. Maria and Lydia Cox ones who are going to have weight would be a problem,â&#x20AC;? she quietly PHOTO â&#x20AC;˘ DAVID SOLANA to treat (the overweight popsaid during an interview recently at the ulation),â&#x20AC;? Sunderlin said. Universityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s undergraduate library. The project includes a nutritionist and a physAt 5 feet 7 inches tall, Lydia weighed 265 pounds as a freshman. Maria, though a half-inch shorter, also weighed 265 ical activity coordinator. Sunderlin said that they may be just The turning point came while driving home for Christmas pounds.The girls, who grew up in the small town of White Hall weeks away from a first draft of a plan, though it wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t likely be break during their freshman year in December 2002.Tired of in west central Illinois, eventually became known as the â&#x20AC;&#x153;fat implemented for some time. being single, Lydia said she persuaded Maria to make the It is a â&#x20AC;&#x153;complicated madness, where there is a rush to programs, decision to alter their lifestyles. Maria said she agreed because twins.â&#x20AC;? Fed up, they decided to try to lose weight. Since the beginning of 2003, the twins have shed more than 160 pounds a rush to finding a silver bullet. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just not that sexy,â&#x20AC;? Sunderlin she knew they would have to do it together for it to work. between them, though they say that theirs is an everyday, lifelong said.â&#x20AC;&#x153;You are looking at a long-term project being dealt with by Although more Americans are opting for gastric bypass sur(legislators) with two-year terms.â&#x20AC;? fight for fitness and happiness. geryâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;more than 80,000 last year, up 40 percent from the But fostering a leaner state could also spell better fiscal health. previous year, according to WebMDâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the twins decided to They are not alone in their battle against the bulge. Public health officials contend obesity-related medical costs the lose weight the old fashioned way. According to the Atlanta-based Centers for Disease Control, 59 percent of Illinois adults are considered overweight or obese. amounted to $117 billion last year. Illinois spent an estimated The obesity rateâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;defined as having a Body Mass Index over 30â&#x20AC;&#x201D; $232 per person on obesity-related medical costs in 2003, C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E 7 in Illinois doubled between 1990 and 2002, ranking Illinois 23rd according to the Washington D.C.-based Trust for Americaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

JOE PLAHUTNIK â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

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XXX: STATE OF THE UNION office filmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sequel holds up when a change of cast facilitates minor changes in the focus of the storyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s successful plot formula. Rob Cohenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 2002 XXX made Vin Diesel a bankable leading man and a hero of action films. However, since Diesel reportedly couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t settle on a suitable salary for the sequel, XXX: State of the Unionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s screenwriter, Simon Kinberg, and new director, Lee Tamahori (Die Another Day), have simply killed off Dieselâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Xander Cage character and cast Ice Cube as their new agent, Darius Stone. In XXX: State of the Union, Tamahoriâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s story follows the dual plot formulas of the spy-action film and the government conspiracy thriller, as special services head Augustus Gibbons, reprised by the solid Samuel L. Jackson, discovers a plot to take over the U.S. government from within. Right after the presidentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s annual State of

hidden gem review

THE COLOR OF MONEY A

bout midway through The Color of Money, Paul Newman, as veteran billiards master â&#x20AC;&#x153;Fastâ&#x20AC;? Eddie Felson, says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Pool excellence is not about excellent pool, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s about becoming someone.â&#x20AC;? That process,â&#x20AC;&#x153;becoming someone,â&#x20AC;? forging an identity to stand out among others and to define yourself, is central to this far different sequel to 1961â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s The Hustler. Loosely based on the novel by Walter Tevis, Color follows two familiar film patterns: a profound road trip and a youth learning from, and eventually rebelling against, an experienced sage.Tom Cruise, as Vincent, in all his young, boyish charm and with a wall of 1980s hair, fills the part of the inexperienced prodigy. Newman, reviving his role from The Hustler, steadily comes to life throughout the story. While ostensibly about Cruiseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s maturation into a true hustler, Newman has his own rediscovery and, by the end, the two square off in a duel of youth versus experience. Directed by Martin Scorsese and shot by Michael Ballhaus, the film has a definite f r o m

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the Union address, which will propose a military bill that will reverse a strong U.S. isolationist foreign policy, the nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s capital will be taken over by factions of the U.S. military. Lead by an angered Secretary of Defense George Deckert, played with the standard two-faced villainy and snake-like grace of Willem Dafoe, the coup will seemingly overcome all 9/11 safeguards and added security like lightening. Any hopes for a serious XXX: STATE OF THE UNION â&#x20AC;˘ ICE CUBE political thriller are just window dressing, though, in this film. computer graphics in these scenes are XXX: State of the Union is comic book equally as impressive and as implausible as action in a paint-by-numbers fashion. in the first film, but they will nevertheless Stone is an ex-Navy SEAL, known for his please the expectations of the filmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s target explosive temper and presently serving a audience. And although Ice Cube is a bit long sentence in a military prison, when he more human and believable as an ex-con is whisked from his captors in a flashy jail- and agent in training, his acting range is break orchestrated by Gibbons and a hand- still only a half octave more impressive than ful of his agents. Stone is dubbed the new Dieselâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. Both seem to be graduates of the agent â&#x20AC;&#x153;XXXâ&#x20AC;? and quickly given sufficient Sylvester Stallone school of method acting training to save the nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s capital from using sneers and groans. XXX: State of the Union will definitely internal upheaval. Like any mindless action film,Tamahori please those who enjoyed the first XXX film piles on the standard car chases, fight and most should not be too disappointed by sequences, explosions with lots of shattered the replacement of Dieselâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s character. glass and wild stunts. Special effects and

Tamahori piles on the car chases, fight sequences and explosions.

!"#$%&'&($&)$*&+#,

TIM PETERS â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

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buzz weekly â&#x20AC;˘

I HAVE THIS TERRIBLE FEELING OF DĂ&#x2030;JĂ&#x20AC; VU.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always interesting to see how a big box

THE SKINNY ON HEALTHY LIFESTYLES

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King and Warren Zevon wails on the soundtrack, while chalk scratches onto the cue and the balls smack each other and slam into the dark pockets. Quick cuts between the shots and the expressive player s heighten the pace as well. The archetypal, exaggerated personalities, the hustlers and the hustled, infuse this film. Their world is like any that involves gamTHE COLOR OF MONEY â&#x20AC;˘ TOM CRUISE & PAUL NEWMAN bling: The promise of quick cash and victory is a visual flair. Set in the winter, the sunlit narrow line treaded with the pitfalls of streets with dirty, melting snow and washed- loss, inferiority and ruin. out, brick buildings serve as strong contrast The movie culminates in the tournato the dusky darkness and lingering smoke ment; the paths of various hustlers all interof the pool halls.Within the games, the cam- twining. Expectedly, a few bumbling scrubs era liberally rotates and pans while zooming are washed away in the first round, upon in tight to the colliding, colorful balls. which the rivals have to play each other in It is an urban odyssey of sorts, with the main event. Both Fast Eddie and Vincent Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio as Vincentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s are playing at their peaks and have to square cunning girlfriend, Carmen, also along for off. The finale, some argue, is unsatisfying the ride. With the destination an Atlantic but still ends on a dramatic note. City 9-ball tournament, the three tour The Color of Money follows many convenfrom hall to hall, while Newman tries to tional storytelling paths. The young preteach his protege the virtue of patience dictably rebels against the old, the journey and the art of the hustle. teaches everyone new things and some Despite some initial frustration, the rivalries never die. Regardless, the film young shark starts to catch on and the allures because of its characters and atmosmoney flows. Meanwhile, Fast Eddie, phere.The smooth confidence of Newman, always scheming, breaks off on his own the sharp attitude of Mastrantonio and the path to the tournament. The scenes of the smug smile and quick laugh of Cruise all pool matches are fast, cool and loud. Bluesy represent the audacious personality traits we rock from the likes of Eric Clapton, B.B. sometimes wish we had.

Star Wars 3 Advanced Tickets on Sale Now CRASH (R) Fri. 1:10 3:20 5:30 7:40 10:00 12:15 Sat. 11:00 1:10 3:20 5:30 7:40 10:00 12:15 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:10 3:20 5:30 7:40 10:00 KINGDOM OF HEAVEN (R) (2 SCREENS) Fri. 1:00 2:00 4:00 5:00 7:00 8:00 10:00 11:00 Sat. 11:00 1:00 2:00 4:00 5:00 7:00 8:00 10:00 11:00 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:00 2:00 4:00 5:00 7:00 8:00 10:00 HOUSE OF WAX (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 4:00 7:10 9:40 12:00 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:10 9:40 â&#x2014;&#x2020; XXX 2 (PGĂą 13) (2 SCREENS) Fri. 1:00 2:00 3:10 4:20 5:20 7:00 7:30 9:15 10:00 11:35 Sat. 11:20 1:00 2:00 3:10 4:20 5:20 7:00 7:30 9:15 10:00 11:35 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:00 2:00 3:10 4:20 5:20 7:00 7:30 9:15 10:00 GUIDE TO THE GALAXY (PG) (2 SCREENS) Fri. 1:00 2:00 3:10 4:20 5:20 7:00 7:30 9:15 10:00 11:35 Sat. 11:20 1:00 2:00 3:10 4:20 5:20 7:00 7:30 9:15 10:00 11:35 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:00 2:00 3:10 4:20 5:20 7:00 7:30 9:15 10:00 FEVER PITCH (PGĂą 13) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00 12:15 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00

LOT LIKE LOVE (PGĂą 13) Fri. 1:30 4:00 7:10 9:30 11:50 Sat. 11:10 1:30 4:00 7:10 9:30 11:50 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:30 4:00 7:10 9:30 GUESS WHO (PGĂą 13) Fri. & Sat. 4:45 9:30 11:45 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 4:45 9:30 HITCH (PGĂą 13) Fri. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:45 7:00 KUNG FU HUSTLE (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:05 3:15 5:25 7:40 9:50 12:00 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:05 3:15 5:25 7:40 9:50 SAHARA (PGĂą 13) Fri. & Sat. 1:15 4:10 7:15 9:50 12:20 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:15 4:10 7:15 9:50 SIN CITY (R) Fri. & Sat. 9:40 12:15 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 9:40 AMITYVILLE HORROR (R) Fri. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:00 9:00 11:50 Sat. 11:00 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:00 9:00 11:50 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:00 9:00 INTERPRETER (PGĂą 13) Fri. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:15 4:05 7:05 10:00 PACIFIER (PG) Fri. & Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:20 Sat. 11:10 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:20 UPSIDE OF ANGER (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:05 4:05 7:05 9:35 12:05 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:05 4:05 7:05 9:35 MILLIONS (PG) Fri. 1:30 4:10 7:10 9:20 11:30 Sat. 11:15 1:30 4:10 7:10 9:20 11:30 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:30 4:10 7:10 9:20

Showtimes for 5/6 thru 5/12

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buzz weekly • 7

I HAVE THIS TERRIBLE FEELING OF DÉJÀ VU.

H E A LT H Y L I F E S T Y L E S C O N T I N U E D F RO M PA G E

‘This must be a Thursday,’ said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer, ‘I never could get the hang of Thursdays.’ Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

THE HITCHHIKER’S MATT PAIS • LEAD REVIEWER

It’s a full-fledged goofball of a movie.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy , interspace time travel is little more than extending your thumb and killing time around the universe while the Earth is put back together. There’s not a lot of depth, sophistication or cohesion to the movie, but its wink-wink sense of sly British humor more than succeeds in advancing it past the easygoing giddiness of a kidfriendly sci-fi fantasy. Based on Douglas Adams’ novel and adapted to the screen by Adams and Karey Kirkpatrick, the film is essentially a twoman show between Mos Def and Sam Rockwell. The rapper-turned-actor stars as an intergalactic traveler with a passion for hitchhiking, and Confessions of a Dangerous Mind’s Rockwell plays a moronic president of the galaxy who is less a leader than a grade-A surfer doofus. Along with Zooey Deschanel (All the Real Girls) and Martin Freeman (Shaun of the Dead, Britain’s The Office) they team up and travel the globe with little more than a wandering eye and a desire to avoid the smelly, ugly Vogons who are among the worst poetry readers in the galaxy.

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GUIDE TO THE GALAXY

Without ever committing too strongly to a scatterbrained plot about world domination and alien bureaucracy, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is actually enormous entertainment, a fleeting escapist spaceship more concerned with darting us around the universe than really immersing us in planetary conquering and interspecies politics. Rated PG, the film is amped up to a startling level of solar-system hopping over-excitement, where little THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY • CAST MEMBERS danger ever hits home for the main charac- appeal. The love story between Freeman ters but where director Garth Jennings (of and Deschanel is barely there and R.E.M’s “Imitation of Life”) willingly Rockwell is only for comic relief, but the indulges in the audience’s most outrageous greatest limitation and most freewheeling casualness about The Hitchhiker’s Guide to tongue-in-cheek sci-fi daydreams. There are morbidly melancholy robots, the Galaxy is how simplistic its approach to dunderheaded space monsters and hyper- modern distraction is. While it’s based on a book, there’s hardadvanced technology that toasts bread as it slices it.This is a movie unafraid to be bold- ly a movie here, just a diverting tour through ly demented and hilariously enjoyable the galaxy in which characters are quicker to without ever buying into grander themes of find hobbies and temporary pleasure than a universal control or futuristic authority. The real planetary policy. It’s wackiness for the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is just good, ADD crowd, audiences that are content to clean fun from which you won’t draw check their minds at the door and sit much more than empty-headed entertain- through two hours that lift you off of Earth’s ment if you’re looking for a movie about surface but never into an alternate scientific more than just hitching a ride on the clos- universe. Quite simply, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is a full-fledged goofball est overhead vessel. Its manic, good-time environment is of a movie, a source of amusing glee with brought to life by people more committed less intent to jumble your brain than just to throwaway TV sci-fi entertainment than mix up your signals—and your plot detectranscendent cinematic far-out futurism, tion—for a while. It’s sure to take your which takes on more of a passive European imagination to infinity and beyond without humor than a persistent intellectual ever capturing your heart.

the week’s best DVD/VHS RENTALS

1. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy ($21.7) 2. The Interpreter ($14.2M) 3. XXX: State of the Union ($13.7) 4. The Amityville Horror ($8.1M) 5. Sahara ($6.0M) 6. A Lot Like Love ($5.2M) 7. Kung Fu Hustle ($3.8M) 8. Fever Pitch ($3.8M) 9. Robots ($3.7M) 10. Guess Who ($2.2M)

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

WARNER BROS.

BOX OFFICE

Ocean’s Twelve lands at second atop this week’s top DVD/VHS rentals.

Meet the Fockers Ocean’s Twelve Sideways Hotel Rwanda Spanglish Elektra Ladder 49 The Incredibles After the Sunset Finding Neverland

Loos enDs MOVIE NEWS BY JOHN LOOS

Cupid, PR agents, what’s the difference? Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are now in love, apparently, just in time for both of their summer blockbusters. Cruise will be seen in Steven Spielberg’s War of the Worlds on June 29, while Holmes will star opposite Christian Bale in Batman Begins on June 17. In a small twist, Holmes is an alleged virgin and wishes to stay that way until marriage. So here we have a 42-yearold superstar actor, one women fawn over left and right and who could sleep with anyone he wanted to, dating a 26-year-old actress with a chastity belt. But, since Tom Cruise is perfect, dammit, I have to assume that his intentions are noble and not part of a PR stunt. I don’t want to get sued, do I?

Step one was to “stop drinking soda,” Lydia said, adding that she was partial to Vanilla Coke and Mountain Dew and drank six or more daily. According to a study by Michael F. Jacobson, of the Center for Science in the Public Interest, soft drinks are the fifth largest source of calories for American adults. With a single can of soda containing 140 to 150 calories, the twins eliminated almost 1,000 calories a day.They stopped drinking soda entirely for two weeks but have since allowed themselves one per week. Step two was to stop snacking at night, even though, according to the American Dietetic Association, it is not when you eat that matters, but what and how much. “It was tough because in the cafeteria, everybody eats at 5:00, which means you end up getting really hungry later at night,” Maria said. During break that Christmas more than two years ago, they awoke every morning knowing they would only eat what the other ate, encouraging the other to stick to the plan. They reduced breakfast to eggs, pancakes, a glass of 2 percent milk and a glass of orange juice. After a while, they further cut back breakfast to eggs,

half a glass of milk, half a pancake and half a glass of orange juice. Finally, they eliminated the juice and pancakes completely and consumed only the eggs and milk. By the time they returned to school about a month later, they were already on their way to their initial goal of losing 30 pounds. “I couldn’t do it without her, and she couldn’t do it without me,” Lydia said. They both agreed that Maria was the regulator in the relationship. “I would say ‘I want that,’ and Maria would say ‘No, no, you can’t,’” Lydia said, smiling at her sister. “We knew we had to eat exactly the same thing,” she said, adding that they did not want one or the other to become known as “the fat one.” The twins insist their method of losing the weight was anything but scientific, explaining that rather than eating “healthy,” they simply ate less, and, in fact, initially did not work out, though they now work out up to three times a week. Last fall, they started running at the Armory’s indoor track.When they first took to the track, they could only do three laps before having to stop. Today, the sisters can complete 24 laps,

Martin F. Manalansan, assistant professor of anthropology and Asian-American studies, has led a distinguished career in teaching and writing. He has worked at the University for six years and has written one book and edited two others. What brought you to the University of Illinois?

t h e

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Why did you choose to pursue anthropology and Asian-American studies?

I wanted to understand what was happening to Asian-American gay men during the first decade of the pandemic. *"&+"& When I started the research in 1999, there " & " ! ' ()' ' ' was a dramatic increase in AIDS cases & % $ !"# among Asian men in San Francisco— almost 200 percent. Anthropology provided the lenses through which an indepth, nuanced and sensitive analysis became possible.

I came to the University because it is an interesting job that combines anthropology and Asian-American studies. What do you feel is your most distinguished award?

My most distinguished award was the Ruth Benedict Award for my book Global Divas. It was given to me by my peers in the society for lesbian and gay anthropologists. What are some of your favorites classes/subjects to teach and why?

One of my favorite classes is Food, Society and Culture (Anth 209). I think food is fun and while everyone may think they know the topic well, there is always something new to learn. I also like Asian-American Cultures (Anth 184) because it introduces students to the variety of Asian communities in the United States.

Plush, giant-screened theaters, the DVD bargain bin at Kmart, what’s the difference? Pretty soon, there might not be any. Acclaimed director Steven Soderbergh (Traffic, Erin Brockovich) has recently signed a deal with 2929 Entertainment designed to tear down the walls of film distribution. In the six-film deal, Soderbergh’s films will be simultaneously released in theaters, aired on television and available for purchase on DVD. His first film, Bubble, involves a murder mystery in a small Ohio town and features a largely nonprofessional cast. Whether this is a genius idea or a foolish one is indeterminable until Bubble is released. If it works, selling your movie via spontaneous romances with Katie Holmes may be a thing of the past.

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connect us, we have less in common with each other,” Maria said. Angela Dirks, 21, a junior in animal science and Lydia’s roommate for the past three years has noticed a change in the sisters since the weight loss. “They’re much more independent now.They make their own decisions,” she said. Maria admits to being “more confident now.” She and her sister have internships this coming summer at Archer Daniels Midland, an agricultural processing company in Decatur—positions they do not think they would have gotten, or for that matter, even applied to, had they weighed as much as they did two and a half years ago. For them, the journey to health and fitness, which still begins at breakfast each morning, has come with rewards. But Maria insisted that “if you think it’s going to change your life, you’re wrong.” “It won’t solve all of your problems,” she said. “They’ll still be there after you lose the weight.” buzz

q+a

Bollywood, the People’s Choice Awards circa 1983, what’s the difference? Beloved Baywatch lifeguard and Knight Rider charmer David Hasselhoff was recently given the top international star award at the Bollywood Movie Awards, the top award of the Indian movie industry (the largest in the world), for the popularity of his television series throughout India. The ceremony was held at Atlantic City, N.J., in an attempt to establish Bollywood filmmaking, which rarely makes a blip on America box office charts and, in general, has difficulty turning a profit as an international cinematic force. Bollywood films tend to be colorful, melodramatic and involve song and dance. Hasselhoff, on the other hand, tends to be bare-chested and sort of saggy.

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which is good cardiovascular, but which they say has not helped them achieve any calculable weight loss. The key to healthier living, they say, was in finding the right motivation. “They’re different for everybody, but you have to go into it with the right reasons,” Lydia said. She admits, however, that part of her motivation initially wasn’t her health, but in her desire for a significant other. “I really would look at a sandwich and think, hmm, sandwich or boyfriend, sandwich or boyfriend,” Lydia said.“But I needed that.” The key was also accountability. “You have to hold yourself accountable and gauge what you eat with another person,” Maria said. Together, the twins have lost a combined total of 165 pounds—a little more than 80 pounds each. For as long as they could remember, they said, eating was their comfort. “Now, we don’t have that comfort,” Maria said. “We’re both trying to get used to living the life of ‘normal people.”They say their relationship as sisters also has changed. “Now that we don’t have that (weight) to

Photo courtesy of Asian American Studies Program Web site www.aasp.uiuc.edu.

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What is the most interesting thing you have discovered over the course of your research?

I learned that senses other than taste and vision are crucial in understanding the politics of food and Asian immigrant life. For example, smell has become one of the paramount issues and a source of anxiety in the lives of the people I talked to in Queens, NY. The smell of food marks them as new immigrants or pejoratively “fresh off the boat.”

Out of the works that you have authored, which is your favorite and why?

Global Divas is my favorite because it was the culmination of more than 10 years of research and writing. It allowed me to step back from the pandemic and appreciate and mourn what has transpired through the years. What is your favorite story to tell about something that happened over the course of your career?

After every semester of teaching the food class, students always e-mail me or stop me in the street or on campus to say they enjoyed the class. Then they ask me for the best restaurant in a city or country they are going to visit. People think that I am a food critic masquerading as a college professor. That is not a reality yet! But some day, I might fulfill the students’ mistaken notion of what I do. I would love to become the New York Times food critic. Maybe I’ll do it in another life. What other things do you enjoy outside of teaching and writing?

I enjoy reading, going to museums, eating out in new restaurants, of course and watching the Food Channel. Did I say eating?

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the local sniff

The Freedom to Smoke

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ar tist’s corner

CU Smokefree Alliance tops the Sniff List SETH FEIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

am a cigarette smoker. As a result, I am a disappointment to many people, not limited to, my girlfriend, my mom, my dad, my brother, my sister, my grandmothers, my roommates, my cats and God. Now that we’re clear on just how many people in my life find me socially reprehensible to a certain degree, let me tell you about someone else who thinks I am up to no good. The President of the CU Smoke Free Alliance. I won’t tell you his name but not because I am scared to face off with him. I can already hear my editor on the phone,“Dude.We can’t print his name. Remember that column about downtown Urbana. Yeah. Gotta change it.” He is a staff member in some University department, though, and he has made it his life’s mission to ruin my life and in turn, essentially break down freedom in America. I understand the organization and what they are trying to do. And in all truth, there is a side of me that agrees: smoking in the presence of those who don’t is an annoyance and is (somewhat) harmful to people’s health. But aside from that his organization is propaganda from a semi-fascist group of people that don’t understand where the line between public domain and private domain is drawn. Hear me out. I would be glad to relinquish my rights as a public smoker. If the new city council in Urbana declared that

smoking on a public sidewalk was no longer allowed, I would happily accept this as what the public demands and not light up until I was in a place that was considered more appropriate.That appropriate place would be anywhere that is PRIVATELY owned. This is America.And we are guaranteed certain unalienable rights, and one of those is the pursuit of happiness. Another is the idea that what happens on private property is the business of the person who owns it. For many bar owners, especially those who are smokers themselves, it would destroy their business. It would also be a social and political travesty for a ban of smoking to grab a hold of our twin cities. Not just because I am a smoker, but because it breaks down the beauty and freedom that we are so desperately trying to hold onto in this age of the Patriot Act and Dubya’s administration, which has the collective intelligence of my left nut. The argument that bars aren’t really private domain is a load of shit too. People will tell you that a bar is meant for public consumption, so therefore, is considered public and that they have the right to go to bars without inhaling any secondhand smoke. But allow me to remind these people that they don’t pay ANY tax on that place and therefore, they have the right to shut the hell up, pronto. Bottom line? If you don’t like the smoke in a bar, don’t go in. Same goes with an adult bookstore. These places are not what most people consider to be healthy for the public. Neither are the arcades where people pump quarters into video consoles and masturbate in little rooms that get cleaned

up by underpaid employees. There are plenty of people whose lives are affected by pornography in a negative way, and not just the abusers, the people who love these people as well. As a recovering porn addict, I know about the repercussions of pornography. And while I have never whacked off in a booth, I have watched my fair share of it, and I have to say, my life is a whole hell of a lot better without it than with it. And I imagine that the same would hold true for my smoking addiction as well. But do you see me starting an organizaSeth Fein is from tion to close porn stores down because I find Urbana. He goes them to be disgusting or harmful?No. And through two lighters why? It’s simple: a day. He can be Because WE LIVE IN A FREE reached at sethCOUNTRY! Do you hear me out there fein@hotmail.com. Mr. Smokefree? WE LIVE IN A FREE COUNTRY! For you to stick your nose in the private business of others is akin to Communist nations telling people that they can’t worship God, or read books or listen to music. It's like the Taliban not allowing women to appear in public without a face cover. Extreme example? Maybe. But opening up this can of worms will lead to endless other freedoms stripped away from all of us. The sooner you start accepting this, the better you’ll feel about your life, Mr. Smokefree. To finish, I quote the late, great Bill Hicks: “I’ll smoke, I’ll get the tumors, I’ll die. Deal? Thank you very much, hope you don’t mind if I just enjoy my cig!”

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Chances are if you have seen a film crew of students working on a scene somewhere around campus in the last four years, Chris Folkens was involved with it somehow. Now a senior in speech communications at the University of Illinois, Folkens has produced, directed, composed and/or edited, for four films—a healthy pace—since he came to Urbana from Naperville four years ago. A Moment So Close, Triad, Toxin and Disconnect have all been products of his handiwork, as have been a smattering of music videos for the local band i:scintilla. Toxin—his most recently completed project—will soon be available on DVD. How did you get involved in the campus film scene?

Well, I arrived at UIUC with every intention of going into law and in my freshman year, I decided to try working with some digital video projects through Illini Film and Video, the local film club on campus. I produced a music video of one of my brother’s songs as well as a short film entitled A Moment So Close, which ended up winning several awards at the IFV film festival that year.That got me interested in continuing to make movies, and I began work on Triad, which took up all of my sophomore year and ended up making it into the St Louis International Film Festival. Following that, I was able to raise enough money to make a larger scale short film production, which resulted in Toxin, which has since been screened in New York at Robert DeNiro’s theater Tribeca Cinemas through the Chamberlain Brothers International Student Film Festival and premiered on campus to about 700 people on April 22.

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What’s the premise of Toxin, and how did you come up with the concept?

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Toxin is based on the idea that a lot of people, especially on this campus, don’t really know the extent of the research that is being done here, in terms of anthrax and other potential “weaknesses” that may be exploited by someone looking to get easy access to those secrets. Some of my friends from this university have been flagged by the FBI and are screened continuously because of the

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research they’ve done here on this campus. The idea of making a college campus (where one of the primary audiences of the film would be) the stage for a terrorist attack seemed intriguing to me because that opened the door for people to walk Cinematographer Chris Folkens. away from the film asking themselves “could this really happen here?” this piece of art.This is the time that they can How is Toxin similar to previous projects you experience the vision for themselves and have worked on, and what have you tried laugh, cry, get chills or freak out because of an artistic expression of something that starts out experimenting with that breaks from your as nothing but a dream. The ability to impact previous work? Toxin is similar to the previous projects really an audience is an incredible sight and is the only in terms of the passion and dedication that ultimate justification for the grueling went into the making of the film. I pretty much filmmaking process. slaved over this film just as much as Triad or any of the other films. I suppose one of the few What advice would you give to aspiring things Toxin shares in common with Triad is the inexperienced filmmakers on campus? My advice is to follow your dreams. Plain and incorporation of choral music into the film, recorded with the help of members from my simple. If you want to make it happen, then do fraternity Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia, the U of I it. Ask questions to those who have done it Concert Choir, Chamber Singers and Oratorio before and just flat out make it happen. If you Society, among others. Aside from that the don’t, you’ll probably regret it later. Make a similarities are few and far between. After all, couple short films, while trying to experiment one of my goals in making Toxin was to remedy with different styles and genres so you can most of the problems we had in Triad, so we got ultimately hone your directing abilities. If you’re a budget, hired a professional director of interested in directing, take acting classes and photography and crew from LA, St. Louis and work to understand acting, photography, shot Chicago, and really solidified all the post composition, and listen to every director’s production color correction, sound design and commentary you can on DVDs. If you’re interested in producing, don’t be afraid to ask musical scoring to really polish off the film. questions. Case in point: the only reason the How do you know whether or not your finished finale in Toxin was possible (a 25-member SWAT team bursting into a room with guns product has been successful? While I appreciate the notion that art [is] a blazing) was because I asked the right questions celebration of oneself, and therefore doesn’t of the right people at the right time and got it really require other people to like it or not, done for free, even in spite of everyone telling nevertheless I feel the moment of truth me I was insane. Believe in yourself, have faith comes when it is in front of an audience for and just do it. If you have any questions or need the first time.This is when people can see the guidance, shoot me an email and I’d be happy to culmination of all the work that went into help out in any way I can!

PHOTO • DAVID SOLANA

8 • buzz weekly

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hat could one say about a collection of short stories from some of Irelandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most celebrated authors? Certainly, no book with contributions by James Joyce and Samuel Beckett could be considered a bad read. Great Irish Drinking Stories, a 333-page volume edited by Peter Haining, assumes the daunting task of providing readers with cross section of world literature that celebrates the pursuit of a good time above all things. Indeed, scholars might argue that Joyce is â&#x20AC;&#x153;brazenly convolutedâ&#x20AC;? or that Beckett is â&#x20AC;&#x153;illegitimately intellectual,â&#x20AC;? but this volume does not merely focus on the Irish literary tradition so beloved by these two giants. Simply put, this book strives to capture the essence of Irish revelry through several generation and permutations in its short story tradition. Hainingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s undertaking does not merely offer 26 James Joyce facsimilies. This book celebrates all eras of authors from the Emerald Isle. In fact, the most startling contribution in the volume comes in the second-to-last excerpt. The piece is possibly the shortest story in the volume and is written by Shan MacGowan, the lead singer of the Irish punk band The Pogues. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Rocky Road to Dublinâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D;an excerpt from his 2001 book A Drink with Shan MacGowanâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; explains his vision of what The Pogues were trying to do musically, cross-breeding the Gaelic folk tradition of their homeland with the similarly Dionysian riffs of rock and roll. This book is worth picking up if only to witness an Irish punk rebel in the same company as the men who championed the likes of Ulysses and Waiting for Godot. One need not be Irish or even of Irish lineage to appreciate this madcap jaunt through the public houses and countrysides of Erin.As most of the works rely on allusions from other words in the authorsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; catalogues, Haining prefaces each tale in his collection with a brief biography of the story teller and a summary of his or her works.

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I HAVE THIS TERRIBLE FEELING OF DĂ&#x2030;JĂ&#x20AC; VU.

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Great Irish Drinking Stories BRANDT GLAN â&#x20AC;˘ CONTRIBUTING WRITER

MA Y 5

book review

Great Irish Drinking Stories should of course be read in its entirety in order to appreciate the intricacies of the drinking culture that Haining brings to light. However, the book could just as easily be enjoyed on a story-by-story basis. These tales weave the reader through a melancholy, humorous and oftentimes mystical cultural world enjoyed by few hardy souls lucky or unlucky enough to be called Irish. Great Irish Drinking Stories deserves a place on every coffee table in the English-speaking worldâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;if only to provide a respite between drinks.

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MUSIC

IS WELL SAID TO BE THE SPEECH OF ANGELS.

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I HAVE THIS TERRIBLE FEELING OF DÉJÀ VU.

The Secret Lives of Writers

- THOMAS CARLYLE

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BRIAN WARMOTH • ARTS EDITOR

s Hollywood follows suit this year with another blockbuster summer of high budget comic book adaptations, there is a gaggle of high-profile names crossing over in the opposite direction—into the pages of some of the summer’s biggest stories. Comics have long been a destination for science fiction and popular literature authors, but some of the names penning comics’ most well known mutants and meta-humans today ring with familiarity to even the least comic book-savvy. Among the biggest newcomers in 2005 have been The O.C.’s Allan Heinberg and Ender’s Game’s Orson Scott Card. Next on the list is to be Motherless Brooklyn and Fortress of Solitude author Jonathan Lethem, whom Time Magazine has announced will be scripting a re-launch of the 1970s Marvel Comics title Omega the Unknown. All the while, one of comics’ most successful crossovers—Joss Whedon of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel fame—continues to set the bar for X-Men excellence in his ongoing series Astonishing X-Men. Young Avengers is the brainchild of Heinberg and New Avengers scribe Brian Michael Bendis, who last fall dismantled Marvel’s mantelpiece superhero team and killed longtime fan favorite and purple-cowled archer Hawkeye. Heinberg made his name producing and writing for television shows like Party of Five, Sex in the City and now The O.C., which caught Marvel editor-in-chief Joe Quesada’s eye to pull him over for the company’s new launch about a group of rookie teen superheroes fighting crime in the streets following the demise of their iconic namesakes. Though the premise drew early criticism citing the team as a knock-off of the now-animated DC Comics team Teen

FREEDOM, NOT “FREE JAZZ”

AN INTERVIEW WITH EAR DOCTOR

SUSAN SCHOMBURG • STAFF WRITER

PHOTO • SARAH KROHN

comic book review

perform spectacular feats. The series takes place independent of the original Stan Lee and Joe Kirby Iron Man story that most are familiar with. It is a part of Marvel’s Ultimate line of comics that has re-invented a number of its old superheroes for a contemporary audience. Card does not miss stride at all in his medium switch to comics, writing science fiction the way he knows how, with flawed sympathetic heroes and conniving villains of the evilest caliber. Still on the horizon is popular author Jonathan Lethem, who will be coming onto the comic book scene in 2006 when he takes the helm of a revamp of Omega the Unknown, an alien hero originally co-written by Howard the Duck creator Steve Gerber. The author, who most recently published a collection of essays titled The Disappointment Artist, told Time, “Marvel dared me to put my love on the line.” If his book Men and Cartoons is any testament, he, like his fellow crossover writers, will bring a lot of passion and pop-cultural obsession to the table. Of all the previously established writers to reach legendary status on their titles, none are hotter this summer, however, than Astonishing X-Men writer Joss Whedon.After bringing back the team’s deceased muscle-bound Russian Colossus in his first story arc the incredibly successful writer for the Buffy and Angel television series currently has the most widely acclaimed monthly title on the shelves. Like Babylon 5’s J. Michael Straczynski and mystery novelist Brad Meltzer, Whedon seems at present to have cemented his feet as an ongoing writer who may come to be known as well in the future for his work in comics as his work on television. The fact is that companies, especially Marvel, are banking on these writers to bring in new readers to a stagnating industry. Time will tell if it’s enough to breath new life into the comic book, but their titles have already shown the incredible potential they have to bring their talents into the medium.

Jerry Shelato and Dan Honnold (left) of Ear Doctor play together with Jason Finkelman as Nu Orbit Ensemble during the Sudden Sound Concert Series" at Krannert Art Museum. Doctor’s sound has an affinity for groups such as the Charles Mingus Jazz Workshop, Sun Ra and the NRG Ensemble. As far as being an avantgarde, “free” group, all three firmly deny this as a popular misconception. “There are aspects of the sound, there are elements of [it] that are more abrasive or that may evoke that sort of a ’60s energy-jazz type of thing,” Honnold says, but, Shelato adds, Ear Doctor’s music is “more freedom than it is Free Jazz; I mean, ‘free jazz’ has a very specific connotation, and it’s more freedom within what it is [that] we do. That’s not to say that we never play free; we just don’t often do it for other people to consume.” Although they have a so-called “modern” sound, their music actually follows fairly traditional jazz performance practice, albeit in unconventional ways. “We play within pretty traditional forms, so … it’s pretty straight-ahead-

looking music,” says Paynter, who has written most of the group’s music. “It’s not just coming from left field or something, although when you hear [an Ear Doctor] song, it wouldn’t necessarily sound like [for example] a blues; it is, harmonically and [in terms of] number of measures—it’s just got a very strange melody …. one of the ways that I compose a lot of my stuff is just to sort of stretch the tradition until it almost becomes something different; but there’s still an audible link to what has come before.” Paynter comments that although the headsolo-head form of most of their songs is the norm, “the one thing we do … to try to muddle that is interact and play during other people’s solos. So,

C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

PHOTO COURTESY OF MARVEL.COM

ith a repertoire comprised of original tunes with quirky melodies and a live show that frequently incorporates the sounds of sirenwhistle and gong, Ear Doctor is not exactly your typical jazz combo. And they wouldn’t have it any other way. Jerry Shelato (tuba) comments that “We’ve all heard the standards, and we all know how the famous recordings of them sound and how people tend to play them—and to sort of ape them, almost—and that’s not even an element of what we do.” The group known as Ear Doctor was formed in 1998 and consisted of three musicians: Shelato, Dan Honnold (saxophone) and Tom Paynter (keyboards, flute). “[At first] we had no drummer,” Paynter remarks, making his bandmates chuckle. “We decided that we needed a drummer soon after that.” Although Ear Doctor’s drum seat has the most personnel changes, it is regularly filled by Jeff Magby or Mark McKnight. The band lineup also includes Ben Taylor (bass), who also does the sound recording for the group. “The three of us have been playing together since the early ’90s,” Paynter comments about Shelato and Honnold, “that’s 10 or 15 years of hanging out, listening to similar things, playing out things while we’re listening, and playing together—not only onstage, but in different formats.” All three are actively involved in the local music scene, including Paynter’s radio show “Mellifluous Cacophony” on WEFT 90.1 FM, Shelato’s performance in professional ensembles, and Honnold’s work as a concert piano technician for the University of Illinois. As Honnold observes,“I think it was kind of a no-brainer for all of us to become musicians.” Ear Doctor’s sound is, to say the least, a bit out-of-the-ordinary. Aside from the strangeness of many of their melodies, their walking bass lines are doubled on tuba and are played on that instrument using non-standard brass performance technique. “I’m also playing jazz on the tuba, as opposed to playing ‘The Tuba’ in jazz,” Shelato points out. “[You have to] serve the tune, not the horn.” The band admits that their sound often eludes proper description, but “in terms of sonic similitude,” Paynter says that Ear

Titans, the masterful writer of primetime’s adolescentlycharged teen dialogue has actually produced one of the most innovative books currently resting on the comic book racks. After three issues, he has paced the story incredibly well, making the still shrouded origins his characters (who resemble Captain America, Thor, Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk) as surprisingly elaborate and cunningly woven into decades of Marvel Comics mythos as comics fans ever could have imagined. In the third issue, the character known as Patriot, who first emerged in a costume which first belonged to Captain America’s deceased World War II sidekick Bucky, outed himself as the grandson of the original Captain America—a late-stage syphilis victim and government experiment named Isaiah Bradley. Meanwhile, the kid in Iron Man armor turns out to be the future incarnation of Avengers villain Kang come back to form a team of young superheroes to defeat an older version of himself. Smart, surprising and true to its heroic roots, Young Avengers is probably the best thing so far to come out of the ashes of its disbanded predecessors. Like the The O.C., author Orson Scott Card has garnered his own cult following from an audience outside of comic books, especially since the explosion of his novel and soon-to-be film Ender’s Game in 1985. Now attached to the recently launched mini-series Ultimate Iron Man, Card is another property that Marvel is hoping will tow interest from non-comics readers. Now going into its second issue, Card’s transition has also been well-conceived. His vision is an origin story of armored hero and millionaire Tony Stark, whose corporation develops a hybridized liquid bacterial metal that allows him to

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“When you've got these kinds of sums involved in creating another two hours of entertainment for Western teenagers, I feel it crosses the line from being merely distasteful to being wrong.” Alan Moore

SENIOR-ARTISTS

PHOTOS • COURTESY OF JENNIFER GUNJI

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EAR DOCTOR C O N T I N U E D F RO M PA G E

like, if Dan’s playing a solo, it doesn’t have to be like a bebop idea of a solo where [the rhythm section is] just kind of laying down a framework, and he’s blowing over it; it’s more interactive. I might hear something he plays and interject something that would spur him a different way because while there is a fair amount notated in a very detailed way [in our music],there is much that is not notated and that can’t be notated.” When soloing, Honnold says that “the most important thing to me … is to be able to express yourself. You can kind of tell in my playing that I don’t have the skills of your average jazz musician; I’ve never been very motivated to acquire them. If I can say what I want to say, and it’s something new and different, then I’m always pretty pleased with that. I’m not a big fan of the kind of jazz improvisers where there’s a real kind of cut-and-paste approach, where they’re cutting and pasting phrases and ideas that they’ve previously memorized. I do not like that, and I try really hard not to do that …. If I catch myself repeating a pattern, I try to change it by the end of the pattern.” With respect to their live show, Paynter hopes that people pick up on the fact that “we’re cooperating, and sharing, and doing it well, and having a good time as we do it. Whether they remember any of the music is another thing, and maybe a little bit too much to ask on the first hearing, but I think it’s more of an impression of the way that the musicians are interacting in the band that’s interesting.” Honnold adds, “I always hope that people will hear something interesting that they’d never heard before. And like what Tom said [about music we like], hopefully it’s something that people will consider warranting repeated listenings….I hope that people hear [us] and want to hear [us] again, either because they really liked it, or they kindasorta liked it and know that there’s probably something more that they could grab next time.” “I’ve always noticed that the people who are not regular jazz fans seem to enjoy us more than the real hardcore jazz fans …. we get a lot of positive feedback from students and people who may not have ever even heard jazz and who probably don’t even consider us jazz. I always thought that that was interesting,” Honnold reflects. “[I don’t think that] a lot of the people who come to see us regularly are coming to see us for the jazz. I think they’re coming to see us for the originality of it.” buzz

of six feet of wall space. Obviously, space constraints are a problem with some projects, which tend to either not hang on walls or exist in any discernable fashion besides “sitting there.” “We tried to accommodate for all possibilities,” Matte stated, demonstrating the massive progeny of the Industrial Design department would coexist peacefully with even the tiniest and most delicate works of glass or ceramics. If you’re interested in any of the many artistic vocations represented in the event, or you just want to see what your art student friends have been doing with their long nights alone, take advantage of this exhibition. It is as much for our benefit as it is for theirs. Take your nose from out of your books (or your beer glass) and stick it into some degree-worthy craft and creativity. buzz

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Ear Doctor will be appearing tonight (May 5) at Zorba’s. They will be joined in this show by Jay Ferguson on drums.

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Listening to Radio 4’s newest, Stealing Of A Nation, is kind of like the disappointment of going on a date with your hot-ass unique boyfriend of three years only to discover that he has suddenly developed a bland, slick, dance-pop ethic. And somebody’s given him a No Bush pin. Anybody can put a pin on, Radio 4. If any of you have ever been inside a Forever 21 clothing store for ridiculously small teenage girls, you probably know what I’m talking about when I say Stealing Of A Nation would fit right in on the soundtrack. It would even be called “edgy,” maybe by some wellmeaning young shoppers. What Radio 4 tries so hard to push across maybe would have fit in perfectly (although being nothing new) during the time of its release in September 2004. Now, in May, it just seems tired and obvious; we get it. Bush sucks, being in Iraq sucks, the economy sucks. Hey, at least we can dance in a lackluster fashion to this empty dance music. Honestly, I really don’t mind political statements. I think it’s great to express yourself. But when you center an entire album around political themes, make it your “groundbreaking concept,” and completely ignore the music that you’ve been creating so well up to this point, it just seems like a sell-out. It’s almost like the guys at Astralwerks Records were all, “Being political is so hot right now. Please discard the greatness of your previous album, Gotham!, and go all out anti-politics. We’re trying to make our image more ‘liberal and approachable.’” Anyway, I just wanted to make it very clear that if you were expecting the rambunctious, jittery, energetic indie rock of Gotham!, you are not going to get too much of that.The last song, ironically titled “Coming Up Empty,” explains a lot of Stealing the Nation. So does the song before it, “Dismiss the Sound.” I’m trying, Radio 4! I am! All bashing aside, Radio 4 is a great band. I’m not just saying this because I’m trying to suck up because I just said their latest thing crashed and burned. As their metaphorical girlfriend (and fan/critic), I am just disappointed. I kept listening to the album over and over, crossing my fingers before each play, eyes squinted and face towards the sky, silently begging for it to be better. A little more Gang of Four and a little less Depeche Mode would have probably helped them out, in addition to not using their producer, Max Heyes. Come back, guys. Bring the DFA producers with you.We’ll go on one big date.You can wear your anti-Bush pin, but leave the boring behind. Radio 4 will appear May 11 and 12 at the Metro in Chicago. The headliner for both shows is none other than the legendary Gang Of Four, reunited. Tickets are $23.50!

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Astralwerks BY CORNELIA BOONMAN

what comes will hopefully represent the beginnings of an annual event. The Krannert Art Museum often houses the work of big-name artists and just recently displayed items by Salvador Dali, as well as numerous items that are more than two thousand years old. The prestige of the museum definitely adds to the importance attached to the event. As the second largest fine arts museum in the state, the Krannert Art Museum is a worthy home for the fruit of the students’ labor and—as it is located in the very heart of campus—remains accessible to the student body at large.Though many of the students participating in the event have their work displayed in other more specialized galleries, the consolidation of all student work on university space will allow the degree-earners to show their creations to the masses of their alma mater. Each graduate is given the equivalent

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Radio 4 Stealing Of A Nation

DAVID RUTHENBERG • STAFF WRITER

hopefully about to change. The Krannert Art Museum, in cooperation with the University and the department of Art and Design is putting on the first ever Bachelor of Fine Arts Degree Exhibition on May 12-15 of this year. Every student earning a bachelor’s degree either at the end of the spring semester or in December 2005 was invited to show their work; a total of 79 future graduates gladly accepted. This will be the first time anything of this nature has ever been attempted by the university, and will hopefully start “a new tradition,” says Alan Mette, Art and Design faculty member and member of the BFA Exhibition Committee. The exhibit should prove an extremely interesting and valuable experience to the average student, who will be exposed to just about everything that the school of Art and Design produces. Art education, ceramics, glass, graphic design, industrial design, metals, painting, photography and sculpture will all be represented in the exhibit, giving all patrons the opportunity to snack liberally from the Art and Design variety platter and appreciate the laborious art students that lie in work-saturated hiding for most of the year. The three-day long event will kick off via a reception in the museum on Thursday, May 10, from 5 to 7:30 p.m. The Krannert Art Museum, an entity completely independent of the Art and Design school, had been in communication with the Art and Design faculty for quite some time in the Please go to www.readbuzz.com to view photographs of other hopes of getting this projartwork in the BFA Exhibit. ect off the ground, and

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FAA graduates to showcase their work f you are a student who possesses any degree of whimsy or has even the slightest appreciation for the efforts of student artists, you are a fan of the many design projects that make gallery/homes for themselves on the multi-functional grasses of the quad. Who does not enjoy an eyeful of a gigantic pasteboard Optimus Prime on their way to lecture? Or perhaps a seemingly impossible shape bafflingly replacing that boring dude who sits in the same spot smoking a pipe? Though they may disrupt a few Frisbee games, the quad-bound behemoths give all of us a glimpse of something great that may have gone unnoticed by many meandering University of Illinois students. Enjoyable as those informal outdoor exhibits are, they make up but a fraction of the hard work this university’s fine arts majors pour so readily into their particular fields of creation. In days past, it would be quite difficult for the outsider or average student to get a taste of what the school of Art and Design was putting out as a whole, as the department is quite eclectic. However, this is

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The Decemberists Picaresque Kill Rock Stars BY IMRAN SIDDIQUEE

Over the course of two albums and a handful of EP’s, the Decemberists have established themselves as the “intelligent” indie rock band. People often praise the band’s “literary” style of song with its poetic force and heartbreaking honesty. But what really makes Colin Meloy’s songwriting so effective is that he weaves an ironic humor into his melodramatic tales of sailors, prostitutes and the occasional spectral being. With Picaresque, the band further examines its theatrical leanings with even more songs about seafarers (it can’t be healthy to be this obsessed with sailors, can it?) as well as other strange settings. The characters in many of these stories seem to exist out of time, obviously not in the present but not really anywhere in the past either, only perhaps in the creative mind of Meloy. The artwork on the album mirrors the humor of Meloy’s writing with the band posing in ridiculous cheap theatrical set-ups. But don’t let that fool you, this is their most accomplished album to date; it has as much wittiness as it does beautiful songwriting. The album begins raucously with “The Infanta,” backed by a rumbling drum beat and strange howling noises the song bursts out of the gate with “Here she comes!” It’s followed by “We Both Go down Together”: combined this is the best one-two opening of any of the Decemberists albums so far. This song also features Petra Haden’s violin more prominently and is just one of the many subtle variations the band makes on their sound. “On the Bus Mall” features some of Meloy’s strongest songwriting ever and “The Mariner’s Revenge Song” is just a thrilling nearly nine-minute ride through the imagination of the Decemberists. It’s the biggest and boldest song yet from a band that excels in going over-the-top. Meloy has captured the lonely yet heroic dynamic of the open sea of yesteryear and spun it into a completely timeless world that has the ability to entertain and move us in a way few others can. Somewhere on “The Engine Driver” Meloy sings,“I am a writer/ writer of fiction…” though this is only apt as a broad description of his writing, it is hard to classify him in any other way. He seems to have invented his own brand of witty prose, historical references and compelling storytelling, something we could call Meloy-drama. And as ridiculous and silly as that sounds; I think the Decemberists would be all for it.

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Beck Guero Interscope BY DAN MCDONALD

708 S. Goodwin 18+ Urbana, IL 344≠ BAND BAND www.canop yclub.com www.canopy Every Monday! presents: $1 Drinks!

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MA Y. 5

I HAVE THIS TERRIBLE FEELING OF DÉJÀ VU.

I expect Beck to challenge my musical horizons. And his newest and latest (number seven!) Guero (Spanish slang for white guy) is still a challenge but maybe not as much as I had expected. This is because most of these sounds have been heard before. Trace amounts of Midnight Vultures, Mutations, Mello Gold, and Golden Feelings can be found throughout the record. But the over representation of well-crafted, colorful beats sometimes makes Guero like an encore of Odelay. Indeed, the Dust Brothers return to team up with Beck (as co-producers), and it shows.The Brothers Dust leave their grimy fingerprints all over backbeats on most tracks but on “Qué Onda Guero,”“Girl” and “Hell Yes” their work is most noticeable.Their signatures are most evident on “Hell Yes,” so much over that it sounds like an Odelay song pulled from mothballs. Guero’s Latin influences are introduced early on “Qué Onda Guero.” “Qué Onda…,” a Latinized, rapped/sung, hipper, “Where It’s At,” is a fun song and one that demands a low-rider convertible and a summer breeze to be enjoyed fully. This song could be the next single after “E-Pro.” The Latin beats throughout Guero work as a fresh rock sound, and Beck plays with the style well. The flamenco guitars in “Missing” accents the album

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w. special guest

Friday, May 6

Lou Barlow Emoh Merge BY BRIAN KLEIN

Saturday, May 7th

Solace For Now

(ftr. members of SALIVA, EARSHOT & BLACKBONE)

Friday, May 13th

Poetry & More Hip Hop!

Saturday, May 14th

with guests

Sick Day, Pariah, Lidlifter

Saturday, May 21 w.

DARK NEW DAY

(featuring members of Creed & Sevendust)

Friday, June 17th

THE HEADHUNTERS (Herbie Hancock`s former backing band as heard on "Headhunters" and "Thrust")

Tickets for advance shows on sale now at: The Canopy Club, Family Pride, and Bacca Cigar, or call 1≠ 800≠ 514≠ ETIX. Or print tickets at home on JayTV.com!

With his hand in so many pies over the years it’s hard to remember what is and what is not a side project for Lou Barlow. At 39, with more bands than most groups have albums, Barlow has come around to release his first official solo album. As a lo-fi indie icon, Barlow has become legendary through his distorted homemade recordings. This project, however, comes out somewhat polished. The album does feature accompaniment from some of this past bandmates, but every song can be reduced to Barlow, his guitar and his four track recorder—except the eight tracks that were produced in a studio and evidently painstakingly mastered to make them sound like they weren’t. Seriously though, some were and some weren’t professionally done, but I had to read about it before I realized it. The production additions seem to hover somewhere behind the image you get of Barlow sitting on the edge of his chair with his guitar. The point is Emoh is pure Barlow. It’s easily accessible folk music, a product of a songwriter and his guitar. It’s like a friend of yours asking you to listen to the song he just wrote. But this time you genuinely like it. Barlow’s songs come across homey and comfortable. Emoh, after all, is Home spelled backward. There is no documentation to verify if that was his intent, but the cover art does depict a rocket-powered house. None of his lyrics really stand out as all that memorable. But that’s not really the point of the songs. You’re likely to take a more general memory of the song. Most of the songs concern relationships and tend to lose themselves in one another. Songs “Mary” and “The Ballad of Daykitty” distinguish themselves the most. In “Mary” Barlow strays from his more traditional songwriting formula and describes the mother of the messiah as an adulteress with an elaborate cover-up rather than a divine conception. “Daykitty” is a story about the adoption of his cat. His feline ballad rounds out the 14-track album and gives you the feeling Barlow is running out of material. You can look at it any way you want, but there’s no question that it’s actually about his hungry cat. “Holding Back the Year” starts off the album strong with guitars and light bongos in the background. In “Caterpillar Girl,” another highlight, Barlow compares his object of affection to a caterpillar going through metamorphosis.“Royalty” offers the most stirring ballad among a collection of mostly laid-back, contemplative songs. These may be his best, but there really isn’t much drop-off over the course of the album, that is, until you get to the cat song. Emoh should be listened to alone for the most part. Play it on your lone drive across the Great Plains or maybe indoors on a rainy day.

M.I.A. Arular XL BY IMRAN SIDDIQUEE

To say M.I.A.’s debut album Arular has been highly anticipated is like saying Jessica Alba is fairly attractive in Sin City. Every “hip” magazine in the country has been talking up the Sri Lankan by-way-ofEngland reggaeton/hip-hop/pop soon-to-be superstar. But anyone with a pulse would be excited after listening to the underground mixtape of M.I.A. songs combined with popular rap beats produced by Diplo, Piracy Funds Terrorism Vol 1. So it comes as no surprise, to me and to many others, that the album is seductively gorgeous. And by seductive I mean it beats so hard and beeps and blips so much, that by the end of the record you will surprised at how attracted you are to it. “Galang,” the lead single and last track on the album is the pinnacle of Maya Arulpragasm’s catchy creativity in songwriting. It is just plain addictive in its loud crash-bang drums and simply giddy chorus, “ga la ga la ga la lang ga lang ga lang.” The album permeates with foot-stomping anthems and simple head-nodding hooks, from the hopeful “Pull Up The People” to the insane (in a good way) “Bucky Done Gun.” The second single from the colorfully packaged album is “Sunshowers,” which has perhaps the most “normal” chorus of all the songs, but that doesn’t stop it from being among the highlights of the record. The words here ring true of the entire album, “From Congo to Columbo/Can’t stereotype my thing yo.” There are often musical interludes between tracks that include Nintendo-like sounds over grimy-beats and the occasional gunfire.The effect creates arresting curiosity concerning what is going on under the surface of all these wild beats. Though much of the album’s press has rested on the political and socially charged atmosphere of Arular and M.I.A., the record neither requires nor really benefits from an understanding of those issues. They do offer a separate, equally enjoyable viewpoint, but what is central to the record is the globally understandable music that M.I.A. has created. Whether in a club in Miami, the poorest areas of South Asia or in a dorm room at the U of I; this music reaches the inner beat in us all and joins a growing movement (galangton/reggaeton/grime) towards more unique and surprisingly universal sounds in contemporary hip-hop.

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U R B A N A

ASSEMBLY HALL | First & Florida, Champaign 333-5000 AMERICAN LEGION POST 24 | 705 W Bloomington, Champaign 356-5144 AMERICAN LEGION POST 71 | 107 N Broadway, Urbana 367-3121 BARFLY | 120 N Neil, Champaign 352-9756 BOLTINI LOUNGE | 211 N Neil, Champaign 378-8001 BOARDMAN’S ART THEATER | 126 W Church, Champaign 351-0068 THE BRASS RAIL | 15 E University, Champaign 352-7512 THE BRIDGE | 124 W. White St. Champaign THE CANOPY CLUB (GARDEN GRILL) | 708 S Goodwin, Urbana 367-3140 CHANNING-MURRAY FOUNDATION | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana CIVITAS | 112 Main St., Urbana0 COURTYARD CAFE | Illini Union, 1401 W Green, Urbana 333-4666 COWBOY MONKEY | 6 Taylor, Champaign 398-2688 CURTIS ORCHARD | 3902 S Duncan, Champaign 359-5565 D.R. DIGGERS | 604 S Country Fair, Champaign 356-0888 ELMER’S CLUB 45 | 3525 N Cunningham, Urbana 344-3101 EMBASSY TAVERN & GRILL | 114 S Race, Urbana 384-9526 ESQUIRE LOUNGE | 106 N Walnut, Champaign 398-5858 FALLON’S ICE HOUSE | 703 N Prospect, Champaign 398-5760 FAT CITY SALOON | 505 S Chestnut, Champaign 356-7100 THE GREAT IMPASTA | 114 W Church, Champaign 359-7377 THE HIGHDIVE | 51 Main, Champaign 359-4444 HUBER’S | 1312 W Church, Champaign 352-0606 ILLINOIS DISCIPLES FOUNDATION | 610 E Springfield, Champaign 352-8721 INDEPENDENT MEDIA CENTER | 218 W Main, Urbana 344-8820 THE IRON POST | 120 S Race, Urbana 337-7678 JACKSON’S RIBS-N-TIPS| 116 N First, Champaign 355-2916 JOE’S BREWERY | 706 S Fifth, Champaign 384-1790 KRANNERT ART MUSEUM | 500 E Peabody, Champaign 333-1861 KRANNERT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS | 500 S Goodwin, Urbana Tickets: 333-6280, 800-KCPATIX LA CASA CULTURAL LATINA | 1203 W Nevada, Urbana 333-4950

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with an organic piece that helps break up the studio sound conjured by the Dust Brothers. The true gems on this record exemplify an economy of sound found on “Black Tambourine” and “Scarecrow.” Initially sounding like a sample of Radiohead’s “National Anthem,”“Scarecrow” haunts using tambourines and an acoustic guitar without the overbearing spooky computers. Complete with beleaguered-sounding lyrics,“Scarecrow” is one of the darker songs on Guero, and it sets a mood in the listener better than every other song except “Qué Onda Guero.”“Scarecrow” makes me want to throw on a pair of shit kickers and ride to a saloon on my hoss so I can down a bunch of whiskey. The best track on the album, “Black Tambourine,” is an oasis of minimalism that translates into a stripped down toe-tapper. All the instruments on the track never play all at once, neatly conversing with one another between verse and chorus. For one song on Guero, less is more. More is less, though, on tepid tracks like “Earthquake Weather” and “Emergency Exit,” the final song.They both get lost in noise and maybe the flash of what the Dust Brothers can do. “Earthquake Weather” could be a decent song, but remixing might do it wonders. I look to Beck for change because he does new sounds well. It turns out he does his old sounds well, too. So while Guero is no Odelay, even though it will inevitably draw comparisons, it stands up on its own latin-flavored feet nicely. Beck’s return to some of his roots is not tip-top but was missed and is welcome.The nice part about Guero is that a decent effort by Beck is still better than most artists’ best and accordingly stands out as one of the year’s quality records.

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LAVA | 1906 W Bradley, Champaign 352-8714 LES’S LOUNGE | 403 N Coler, Urbana 328-4000 LINCOLN CASTLE | 209 S Broadway, Urbana 344-7720 MALIBU BAY LOUNGE | North Route 45, Urbana 328-7415 MIKE ‘N’ MOLLY’S | 105 N Market, Champaign 355-1236 NARGILE | 207 W Clark, Champaign NEIL STREET PUB | 1505 N Neil, Champaign 359-1601 THE OFFICE | 214 W Main, Urbana 344-7608 OPENSOURCE | 12 E. Washington,Champaign http://opensource.boxwith.com PARKLAND COLLEGE | 2400 W Bradley, Champaign 351-2528 PHOENIX | 215 S Neil, Champaign 355-7866 PIA’S OF RANTOUL | Route 136 E, Rantoul 893-8244 RED HERRING/CHANNING-MURRAY FOUNDATION | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana 344-1176 ROSE BOWL TAVERN | 106 N Race, Urbana 367-7031 SIDE BAR | 55 E. Main, Champaign 398-5760 SPRINGER CULTURAL CENTER | 301 N Randolph, Champaign 398-2376 SPURLOCK MUSEUM | 600 S Gregory, Urbana, 333-2360 THE STATION THEATRE | 223 N Broadway, Urbana 384-4000 STRAWBERRY FIELDS CAFE | 306 W Springfield, Urbana 328-1655 TK WENDL’S | 1901 S Highcross, Urbana 255-5328 TOMMY G’S | 123 S Mattis, Country Fair Shopping Center 359-2177 TONIC | 619 S Wright, Champaign 356-6768 UNIVERSITY YMCA | 1001 S Wright, Champaign 344-0721 URBANA CIVIC CENTER | 108 Water St., Urbana VERDE/VERDANT | 17 E Taylor, Champaign 366-3204 VIRGINIA THEATRE | 203 W Park Ave, Champaign 356-9053 WAKE THE DEAD CAFE | 1210 E. Eldorado St. Decatur 233-4525 WASHINGTON STREET PUB | 600 S. Washington, Tuscola 253-6850 WHITE HORSE INN | 112 1/2 E Green, Champaign 352-5945 ZORBA’S | 627 E Green, Champaign 344-0710

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SATURDAY, MAY 7 VERDE GALLERY, 17 E. TAYLOR, CHAMPAIGN 11:00 AM, $25.00 The art of Mehndi, also know as Heinna, is a type of temporary body art popular in the Middle East, North Africa and South Asia. In the art of Mehndi painting, a paste made of natural ingredients, such as lemon juice, yogurt and tamarind is applied to the skin, usually the hands, in intricate designs. Come to Verde Gallery this Saturday where Sujata DeyKoontz will be conducting a Mehndi Workshop. Besides painting demonstrations, Dey-Koontz will explain the history and culture behind this body art, which has not only aesthetic purposes, but medicinal, ceremonial and cosmetic as well. - Erin Scottberg

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buzz pick

Funk Shui: An Outdoor Dancing Adventure May, 4 & 6pm, free At the Arboretum: 1800 S Lincoln, Urbana

ART and THEATER Not Enough Space [An international touring exhibit marking the 25th anniversary of the incarceration of two Puerto Rican political prisoners, Oscar López Rivera and Carlos Alberto Torres, in U.S. federal facilities] UIUC Main Library, first floor, 1408 West Gregory Drive, Urbana. Opening reception May 7, 2-3pm at the University YMCA, 1001 S. Wright St. Viewing at Main Library from 3 to 5 p.m. Performances by Alberto "Che" Guevara and Janeida Rivera, winners in Chicago's 2005 citywide poetry slam. Oscar Lopez Rivera will try to phone in to speak directly at the reception. Spring 2005 Art Exhibition [work by Jeannine Bestoso, Melissa Mitchell, Mark Reutter, Amy Richardson, and Wesley Waters] Creation Art Studios and Gallery through May 29 Artist Reception with music by Jimmy Rowland May 6 from 7-9pm Hours: Tues-Fri 1-5:30pm, Sat 1-4pm and by appointment, 344-6955, www.creationartstudios.com Centennial High School Student Art Show [For this unique display, the students in artist and educator Shannon Batman's class have created wonderfully expressive self-portraits. The students were inspired by a variety of artists including Frida Kahlo. The framing for this show was partially funded by a Tepper Grant awarded to instructor Shannon Batman.] Pages For All Ages through May 31 Artist Reception May 13, 5-7pm Mon-Thurs 9am-10pm, Fri-Sat 9am11pm, Sun 10am-9pm The School of Art + Design Master of Fine Arts Exhibition Krannert Art Museum through May 8. Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am8pm, Sun 2-5pm Suggested Donation: $3

Enjoy music and dance within the beauty of the Arboretum! “Funk Shui,” a unique dance event, includes works by graduate and undergraduate students as well as faculty from the University’s own Department of Dance. A diverse range of choreography and music explores new inter-

pretations of this outdoor environment. Dancers are confined by the garden’s geometries, ducking and dodging among the trunks, winding through pine groves and eventually into the audience itself. The event culminates with an improvisational collaboration with outstanding musicians from the Music Department and community.

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"Invisible Infrastructure: maps and photographs" [Works by Christian Sandvig and Hope Hall] Humanities Lecture Hall through July 22 805 W. Pennsylvania Ave, www.iprh.uiuc.edu Mon-Fri 8:30am-5pm

The New Pornographers third LP, Twin Cinema, is being wrapped up and will most likely hit U.S. shelves August 23 via Matador.

Parkland College Student Fine Art Juried Exhibition 2005 Parkland College Art Gallery through May 7 Mon-Fri, 10am-3pm, Mon-Thu, 6-8pm, Sat, 12-2pm

July 12 will see the release of a split EP between The Books and Prefuse 73 via Warp recordings, entitled Prefuse 73 reads The Books.

New York [photography by Michael Sherfield] Old Vic Art Gallery through April 30 Mon-Thu 11:30am-5:30pm, Fri-Sat 11:30am-4:30pm

Mouse on Mars will be touring internationally this summer May 2 through August 18 with a stop June 9 at Sonotheque in Chicago.

Quantum Garden [original prints by Charles Segard] Aroma Cafe through June 4 Mon-Sun 7am-12am

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Emergence, International Women in the Arts [An international yet local exhibit, featuring artists and performers from all over the globe who live in the C-U community] Verde Gallery through May 21 Tue-Sat 10am- 10pm

:scintilla confirmed major changes April 28. Guitarist Jason Allen has departed the band, and Chad Mines has switched from bass to guitar to replace him. Rounding out the new lineup is Relenter cover girl and Cameo Turret bassist Bethany Whisenhunt, whose first three local shows with i:scintilla (apart from Band Jam) all are album releases: Green St. Records' at The Highdive April 24,The Ending's at Cowboy Monkey April 29, and Relenter's at Mike 'n Molly's June 18. At press time, an i:scintilla Web site redesign was due this week. Kipp Wilfong, Oregonian émigré and drummer for The Invisible, is taking time off from the band for a coast-tocoast bike ride. He will be back, but concerts continue in the meantime in promotion of the album Invisibility. His summer replacement is none other than Seth Fein (exHeadlights, 2ON2OUT). Invisibility was re-released last week with revised album art: enhanced colors, lighter text, and more extensive liner notes.Work is underway already at Polehouse on the follow-up: a concept album chock-full of childlike optimism yet mature musicianship. It will include the single “The Rooftop Chimney Sweeper,” available at theinvisible.biz. The official Web site for The Living Blue is up at last, with thanks to Josh Gragg of American Minor “for once again lending his artistic eye.” The Living Blue reports its third album, due this autumn, will be produced and mixed by Adam Schmitt and called Fire, Blood,Water. thelivingblue.com features streams of three unreleased songs:“Serrated Friend,” “State of Affairs” and “Murderous Youth.” Joe Ludwinski, Jason Milam, and Bill “Wink” Turner are together again as Scurvine. To commemorate this, there are: Poke You in Your Eyes, a six-track EP of straightforward, fuzzed out rock at C.V. Lloyde Music Center and a comeback concert tomorrow night at Brass Rail with Tractor Kings and Mad Science Fair. Show time is 10, and cover is $3. At the same time, Temple of Low Men drummer Ian

50,000 Watts [drawings by UIUC Professor Ron Kovatch and new ceramics by retired SIU Professor Dan Anderson] Cinema Gallery through May 7 Tue-Sat 10am-4pm Aroma Cafe is looking for artists to exhibit their work. If you are interested in exhibiting your art, please contact Amanda Bickel, art coordinator at Aroma Cafe at art4aroma@yahoo.com.

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Andre 3000, one whacky, wonderful half of Outkast, has agreed to star in a modern day movie musical. Variety reports that Avenue Q writer Jeff Whitty will write the script, and Andre will compose the music as well as star in it portraying a character “with magical powers, who comes into the lives of a family.” A pop star dressed like a psychedelic golf pro from Saturn, writing some stanky funkadelic jams with your father in the family room, and all that “funny smoke” is in the air. Every child’s fantasy.

this week in music Shepherd joins his bandmate Brandon T. Washington for a nostalgic set at The Iron Post; the pair opens for Lorenzo Goetz, and cover is $3.Then Saturday night, Ian's new “10 percent jazz, 90 percent funk” combo Bahlu Organ Trio opens for Beat Kitchen at Cowboy Monkey. Show time is 10, and cover is $4. Brandon belongs to Beat Kitchen, as did Ian before he moved to Des Moines last May. Today is Cinco de Mayo, and Craig Russo Latin Jazz Project convenes tonight at 7 to celebrate at The Iron Post. At 8, folk singers Joni Laurence and Rachel Garlin return to Latin-themed coffeehouse Aroma for a free show. At 10, Eclectic Theory plays its first show since December, another freebie in the beer garden at White Horse Inn. Tomorrow, singer-songwriter G. Lee is the featured performer for Acoustic Fusion at Verde Gallery. Show time is 8 p.m., and cover is $5. And at 10 p.m., Nargile hosts a benefit for Eric Resor, former drummer for Eclectic Theory. Eric was diagnosed with kidney failure earlier this year and now awaits a transplant. Cover is $5, and all proceeds go to the Resor family. Ambitious Pie Party joins Eclectic Theory on this bill.

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Healing Works [display of art works by survivors of sexual violence] Independent Media Center through April 30

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Mapping Sitting: On Portraiture and Photography [this exhibition ventures into uncharted territory with photographic and video installations and uses portraits by Arab photographers, including passport studio photographs, photo "surprise," itinerant photography, and group portraits to present a dynamic picture of the Middle East. Organized by Walid Raad and Akram Zaatari.] Krannert Art Museum through June 5. Gallery conversation and lecture from Radd April 28 at 7pm, KAM lobby Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am8pm, Sun 2-5pm Suggested Donation: $3

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The Roots will embark on a U.S. tour beginning April 29 and running through June 15 with an engagement on May 28 in Chicago at the Vic Theatre.

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Todd J. Hunter hosts “WEFT Sessions” and “Champaign Local 901,” two hours of local music Monday nights at 10 on 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com.

c h a r t s PARASOL RECORDS TOP 10 SELLERS 1. Orange Peels • Circling The Sun (Parasol) 2. Shout Out Louds • Very Loud EP (U.S.) (Bud Fox/Capitol) 3. Stereolab • Oscillons From The AntiSun (Too Pure) 4. Animal Collective w/ Bunyan, Vashti • Prospect Hummer (Fat Cat) 5. Feist • Let It Die (Interscope) 6. Moonbabies • War On Sound (Hidden Agenda) 7. Lucksmiths • Warmer Corners (Matinee) 8. Moneybrother• Blood Panic (Burning Heart) 9. Convoj • Convoj (Chalksounds) 10. Beatifics • In The Meantime (Bus Stop)

SEE LORENZO GOETZ, BRANDON T. WASHINGTON & IAN SHEPARD ON FRIDAY, MAY 6 AT THE IRON POST

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Live Music Cinco de Mayo Party with Craig Russo Latin Jazz Project The Iron Post, 7pm, TBA Acoustic Music Series: Joni Laurence & Rachel Garlin Aroma, 8pm, free Jammin' Jimmy Bean Tommy G's, 9pm, free Ear Doctor Zorba's, 9:30pm-12:30am, $3 Particle, Groovatron, Alan Vasquez The Canopy Club, 10pm, $12 Backyard Tire Fire Paulie's, 10pm, $4 Cinco De Mayo Show: Eclectic Theory White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free DJ Generic DJ Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8pm, TBA DJ J-Phlip [house] Barfly, 10pm, free Cinco De Mayo Party The Highdive, 8pm, $5 Cinco De Mayo Party Nargile, 10pm, TBA DJ Bozak Boltini, 10:30pm, free

Friday, May 6 The Iron Post, 10pm, $3 Winners of the Best Rock Band and Best Band Overall categories at the first annual C-U Local Music Awards, Lorenzo Goetz is headlining at The Iron Post tomorrow night. Their mixture of mellow grooves, indie pop, hip hop and retro Brit rock make their music difficult for anyone to write off—or even dislike. While a show with Lorenzo Goetz is always an event, Friday night’s real treat may be the opening act. Brandon T. Washington, winner of the Best Male vocalist category at the C-U Local Music

Awards, whose over-flowingly soulful duets with Dawna Nelson at the awards ceremony moved even the most jaded indie rocker, will be joined this night with Temple of Low Men band-mate Ian Shepard. Live collaborations between these two have been few and far between since Shepard moved to Iowa for wife Tricia Shepard’s—formerly of WCIA— new job. -Cassie Conner

Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Pia's of Rantoul, 9pm-1am, free Cinco de Mayo Show: The Cheezy Trio [live band karaoke] Cowboy Monkey 9:30pm, $4 Dancing UIUC Swing Society McKinley Foundation 9:30pm-12am, free Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign, 8pm, $7-$9 Belly Dance for Fitness Gold’s Gym, Champaign 7:30pm, $7-$9 Wine Tasting Krannert Uncorked Krannert Art Center Lobby 5pm, free

Special Events Yom HaShoah Candlelight Vigil in remembrance of the Holocaust. North End of the Quad, 8pm

DJ DJ Elise Boltini, 6-10pm, free DJ J-Phlip or DJ Lil Big Bass Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips 9pm-2am, TBA DJ Bozak [hip hop, downtempo] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10:30pm, $5 Special Events Cinco De Mayo Gala [food, dancing, raffle and more] Lincoln Square Village, 6-9pm

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May 6

Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Hot Club d'Urbana [jazz] Cowboy Monkey, 5pm, free The Prairie Dogs The Iron Post, 5-7pm, TBA Al Ierardi Tommy G's, 5-7pm, free One Hundred Mile Mosey, Medford, Cole Pezely and Friends, The Pistol Poets Wake the Dead Cafe, 6pm, TBA The Salamanders Borders, 8-10pm, free Acoustic Fusion Concert Series: G. Lee [acoustic pop] Verde Gallery, 8pm, $5 Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Tractor Kings, Mad Science Fair, Scurvine Brass Rail, 10pm, $3 Groovatron, Alan Vasquez The Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 Bottle of Justus, Punsapaya [rock] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 Lorenzo Goetz, Brandon T. Washington & Ian Shepherd [of Temple of Low Men] The Iron Post, 10pm, $3 Eric Resor Benefit Show: Eclectic Theory, Ambitious Pie Party, TBA Nargile, 10pm, $5 Hippus Campus [jazz] Mike ‘n Molly’s 5-7pm, $3 The Salamanders Borders, 8-10pm, free •

Live Music Roger Cler Pages For All Ages 7pm, free x-Krush, Solace For Now The Canopy Club, 9pm, $6 Kilborn Alley [blues] The Iron Post, 9pm, TBA Beat Kitchen, Bahlu Organ Trio Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 ESP [classic rock and new rock covers] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Trouble IS [Xtreme rock] Lowe’s Big Barrel & Summer Club, 9pm-2am, TBA DJ DJ Lingo, DJ Carlos and Juan Sidebar, 7pm, $4 DJ Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10;30pm, $5 DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips 9pm, TBA DJ Paulie's, 9pm, free DJ Resonate [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Mellow Fellow [hip hop/retro/R&B] Nargile, 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive 10pm, $5

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Special Events 7th Annual Motorsports Car Show [classic and late-model custom cars, stock cars, trucks, and other vehicles] M parking lot of Parkland College, free 43rd Annual Antique Show & Sale dealers with items for sale, artisan demos and free appraisals from 11-3 daily] Champaign County Fairgrounds 9am-5pm Plant Sale [Your purchase will help support the stewardship of East Central Illinois natural areas] Lincoln Square Mall, 9am-3pm Workshops Mehndi Workshop [Henna Body Painting by Sujata Dey-Koontz] Verde Gallery, 11am, $25 Lectures, Meetings, Discussions Community Discussion on Comprehensive Sex Education [addressing the current state of health education in our schools and answer questions. This discussion is sponsored by The Campaign for Comprehensive Sex Education, a group of concerned community members who advocate for a consistent, age-appropriate, medically accurate and comprehensive education program for every school] Douglass Branch Library Champaign, 10am-12pm 504 East Grove Street, Champaign

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Special Events 43rd Annual Antique Show & Sale [Antiques dealers with items for sale, artisan demos and free appraisals from 11-3 daily] Champaign County Fairgrounds 10am-4pm

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Live Music Jazz Jam with ParaDocs The Iron Post, 8pm, TBA UC Hip Hop presents Chill in the Grill The Canopy Club, 9pm, free Open Mic Night with Mike Ingram Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Quad Remedy Tommy G's, 10pm, free Dave and Steve [cover band] White Horse Inn 10pm, TBA Finga Lickin' The Office, 10:30pm, free DJ DJ Elise [deep sultry house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

DJ Missus Mike 'n Molly's, TBA Ear Candy [house DJs] Nargile, 9pm, free DJ Delayney [hip hop/soul] Barfly, 10pm, free

DJ Hoff Mike 'n Molly's, TBA Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Neil St. Pub, 8pm-12am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's , 9pm-1am, free

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Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign 8pm, $7-$9

May 10

Live Music Bluegrass Jam Verde Gallery, 7-9:30pm, free Open Jam/Open Mic hosted by Brandon T. Washington The Canopy Club, 9pm, 21+/free $2/under 21 The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Adam Wolfe's Acoustic Night with Jess Greelee Tommy G's, 10pm, free Open Stage Espresso Royale Goodwin & Oregon, 8pm, free

Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free Workshops Healthy Knees [Learn about common age and sports-related knee conditions and what you can do to alleviate pain and discomfort] Mettler Center, 7:30pm, free

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DJ 80's Request Night with DJ Reaganomics Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Subversion: DJ ZoZo, DJ Evily, DJ TwinScin [goth/industrial/electro] The Highdive, 10pm, $2 Tremblin BG Barfly, 10pm, free DJ J-Philp or DJ Lil Big Bass Boltini, 10:30pm, free

Live Music Jake Hertzog Jazz Trio with Kevin Hart The Iron Post, 7-10pm, TBA The Apollo Project Nargile, 10pm, free Chambana Jackson’s Ribs-n-Tips, 8-10pm Ed O'Hare and Friends Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Blues Night: Kilborn Alley Tommy G's, 10pm, free

Chambana Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips 8-10pm DJ Chef Ra [roots, reggae] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Boltini, 10:30pm, free Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti's 10pm-2am, free Lectures, Meetings, Discussions Open Poetry Night [writers may read their own work or just listen] Illini Union Bookstore,7-8 pm Fitness UIUC Yoga Club Illini Union room 406, 7:30pm, free Lectures, Meetings, Discussions "Mature Lifestyles" [free seminar including "Your Money Matters," by David Fernandes from Hickory Point Bank and "Tips for Aging gracefully" by Jeanne Snyder. Morning refreshments and lunch will be served.] Tony Noel Agricultural Technology Center, Parkland 8:30am Contact Kathy McCoy at 398-6719 for reservations.

buzz pick

PARTICLE, GROOVATRON AND ALAN VASQUEZ CANOPY CLUB, 10PM, $12

GROOVATRON WITH ALAN VASQUEZ, AGAIN AT THE CANOPY CLUB, 10PM, $5

TONIGHT TONIGHT || TOMORROW TOMORROW

Lorenzo Goetz, Brandon T. Washington & Ian Shepard

May 5

Workshops Alexander Technique [The way we use ourselves, in any activity or at rest, not only affects our efficiency, but also our general health. With over a century of continuous growth, the Alexander Technique has proven to be an effective way of improving our natural poise and flexibility by dissolving self-imposed tensions that interfere with our ability to function] Mettler Center, 10am, free

Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages 11am, free Tot Notes [music appreciation for kids. 6 -18 months: 9:30-9:50am, 18 mo's-2 1/2 years: 1010:20am, 2 1/2 years-4 years: 10:30-10:50am] Pages For All Ages, 9:30am, free

DJ DJ Wesjile [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ JB [80's rewind/funk classics] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

DJ White Horse Inn 10pm, TBA Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's, 9pm-1am, free

At Manchester, Tennessee’s Bonnaroo Music Festival in 2003, Particle played a five-hour set that kept the crowd dancing in the mud until the sun came up. Tonight, they bring that same sensual energy to The Canopy Club. This funktronic four-member band combines electronica, funk, rock-n-roll and whatever else comes to mind to create funky beats that keep your feet moving and your ears listening. Groovatron is rhythmically tight funk driven by long, linear bass parts and headed by eclectic vocals. This young Chicago band has enough material to entertain two nights in a row— they’re taking their quirky sound to Canopy’s center stage again tomorrow night. Kyle Gorman and Erin Scottberg

starting May 16th 730-815pm

May 8

Live Music Blues Jam The Iron Post, 7-10pm, TBA The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Liquid Courage Open Mic Night Geovanti's, 8pm-12am, free WILL-FM Second Sunday Concert: Arcadia Chamber Players Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion 2pm, free

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SEE LORENZO GOETZ, BRANDON T. WASHINGTON & IAN SHEPARD ON FRIDAY, MAY 6 AT THE IRON POST

!"#$%&'(

buzz pick

Special Events Yom HaShoah Candlelight Vigil in remembrance of the Holocaust. North End of the Quad, 8pm

%'!#$&'(

)$*&'(

May 7

May 6

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Special Events 43rd Annual Antique Show & Sale [Antiques dealers with items for sale, artisan demos and free appraisals from 11-3 daily] Champaign County Fairgrounds 10am-4pm

,-+&'( May 9

DJ Missus Mike 'n Molly's, TBA Ear Candy [house DJs] Nargile, 9pm, free DJ Delayney [hip hop/soul] Barfly, 10pm, free

DJ Hoff Mike 'n Molly's, TBA Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Neil St. Pub, 8pm-12am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's , 9pm-1am, free

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Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign 8pm, $7-$9

May 10

/.&+.%&'( May 11

buzz pick

PARTICLE, GROOVATRON AND ALAN VASQUEZ CANOPY CLUB, 10PM, $12

GROOVATRON WITH ALAN VASQUEZ, AGAIN AT THE CANOPY CLUB, 10PM, $5

TONIGHT TONIGHT || TOMORROW TOMORROW

Lorenzo Goetz, Brandon T. Washington & Ian Shepard

May 5

DJ DJ Wesjile [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ JB [80's rewind/funk classics] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

DJ White Horse Inn 10pm, TBA Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's, 9pm-1am, free

starting May 16th 730-815pm

May 8

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I HAVE THIS TERRIBLE FEELING OF DÉJÀ VU.

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THE HURLY-BURLY

buzz pick

Funk Shui: An Outdoor Dancing Adventure May, 4 & 6pm, free At the Arboretum: 1800 S Lincoln, Urbana

w H at tH e He L L?

"Invisible Infrastructure: maps and photographs" [Works by Christian Sandvig and Hope Hall] Humanities Lecture Hall through July 22 805 W. Pennsylvania Ave, www.iprh.uiuc.edu Mon-Fri 8:30am-5pm

The New Pornographers third LP, Twin Cinema, is being wrapped up and will most likely hit U.S. shelves August 23 via Matador.

Parkland College Student Fine Art Juried Exhibition 2005 Parkland College Art Gallery through May 7 Mon-Fri, 10am-3pm, Mon-Thu, 6-8pm, Sat, 12-2pm

July 12 will see the release of a split EP between The Books and Prefuse 73 via Warp recordings, entitled Prefuse 73 reads The Books.

New York [photography by Michael Sherfield] Old Vic Art Gallery through April 30 Mon-Thu 11:30am-5:30pm, Fri-Sat 11:30am-4:30pm

Mouse on Mars will be touring internationally this summer May 2 through August 18 with a stop June 9 at Sonotheque in Chicago.

Quantum Garden [original prints by Charles Segard] Aroma Cafe through June 4 Mon-Sun 7am-12am

sound ground #74

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PHOTO COURTESY OF LIGHTSOUTFILMS.COM

#74

Healing Works [display of art works by survivors of sexual violence] Independent Media Center through April 30

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TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

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MOMENT OF THE WEEK

The Roots will embark on a U.S. tour beginning April 29 and running through June 15 with an engagement on May 28 in Chicago at the Vic Theatre.

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Todd J. Hunter hosts “WEFT Sessions” and “Champaign Local 901,” two hours of local music Monday nights at 10 on 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com.

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Beck Guero Interscope BY DAN MCDONALD

708 S. Goodwin 18+ Urbana, IL 344≠ BAND BAND www.canop yclub.com www.canopy Every Monday! presents: $1 Drinks!

Every Tuesday!

O PEN M I C / J A M AM $2 Long Islands! $1 PBR Drafts!

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w. special guest

Friday, May 6

Lou Barlow Emoh Merge BY BRIAN KLEIN

Saturday, May 7th

Solace For Now

(ftr. members of SALIVA, EARSHOT & BLACKBONE)

Friday, May 13th

Poetry & More Hip Hop!

Saturday, May 14th

with guests

Sick Day, Pariah, Lidlifter

Saturday, May 21 w.

DARK NEW DAY

(featuring members of Creed & Sevendust)

Friday, June 17th

THE HEADHUNTERS (Herbie Hancock`s former backing band as heard on "Headhunters" and "Thrust")

Tickets for advance shows on sale now at: The Canopy Club, Family Pride, and Bacca Cigar, or call 1≠ 800≠ 514≠ ETIX. Or print tickets at home on JayTV.com!

M.I.A. Arular XL BY IMRAN SIDDIQUEE

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U R B A N A

Thursday, May 5 4.

•

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MEHNDI WORKSHOP

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SENIOR-ARTISTS

PHOTOS • COURTESY OF JENNIFER GUNJI

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EAR DOCTOR C O N T I N U E D F RO M PA G E

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Ear Doctor will be appearing tonight (May 5) at Zorba’s. They will be joined in this show by Jay Ferguson on drums.

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lead review

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Astralwerks BY CORNELIA BOONMAN

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Radio 4 Stealing Of A Nation

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The Decemberists Picaresque Kill Rock Stars BY IMRAN SIDDIQUEE

MA Y 5

MUSIC

IS WELL SAID TO BE THE SPEECH OF ANGELS.

•

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The Secret Lives of Writers

- THOMAS CARLYLE

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BRIAN WARMOTH • ARTS EDITOR

FREEDOM, NOT “FREE JAZZ”

AN INTERVIEW WITH EAR DOCTOR

SUSAN SCHOMBURG • STAFF WRITER

PHOTO • SARAH KROHN

comic book review

C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

PHOTO COURTESY OF MARVEL.COM

buzz weekly •

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MA Y 5

book review

GREAT IRISH DRINKING STORIES

).&/ 3)8&,!'3 #/-

,OCATED MIDWAY BETWEEN #HICAGO AND -ILWAUKEE ON ) AND 2OUTE IN 'URNEE )LLINOIS 3)8 &,!'3 AND ALL RELATED INDICIA ARE TRADEMARKS OF 3IX &LAGS 4HEME 0ARKS )NC Â&#x161; 4- AND ÂĽ

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the local sniff

The Freedom to Smoke

MA Y 5

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MA Y 5

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ar tist’s corner

CU Smokefree Alliance tops the Sniff List SETH FEIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

www.wordenmartin.subaru.com

Starting at

22,859

)$*'!%+,-."(! BRIAN WARMOTH • ARTS EDITOR

ALL WHEEL DRIVE

Think. Feel. Drive.

What’s the premise of Toxin, and how did you come up with the concept?

Worden≠ Martin Subaru Champaign ñ Savoy ï 1.800.523.0754

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ì Cleverly hidden behind Worden≠ Martin Nissanî * Stock #S05183. MSRP $24,870. Sale price valid through 4.30.05

PHOTO • DAVID SOLANA

8 • buzz weekly

STRESS RELATED PAIN? Chiropractic Honors

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I HAVE THIS TERRIBLE FEELING OF DÉJÀ VU.

H E A LT H Y L I F E S T Y L E S C O N T I N U E D F RO M PA G E

‘This must be a Thursday,’ said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer, ‘I never could get the hang of Thursdays.’ Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

THE HITCHHIKER’S MATT PAIS • LEAD REVIEWER

It’s a full-fledged goofball of a movie.

!"#$%&

TOUCHSTONE PICTURES

GUIDE TO THE GALAXY

the week’s best DVD/VHS RENTALS

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

WARNER BROS.

BOX OFFICE

Ocean’s Twelve lands at second atop this week’s top DVD/VHS rentals.

Meet the Fockers Ocean’s Twelve Sideways Hotel Rwanda Spanglish Elektra Ladder 49 The Incredibles After the Sunset Finding Neverland

Loos enDs MOVIE NEWS BY JOHN LOOS

t h e

s c e n e

Why did you choose to pursue anthropology and Asian-American studies?

I came to the University because it is an interesting job that combines anthropology and Asian-American studies. What do you feel is your most distinguished award?

f r o m

q+a

s o u n d s

Photo courtesy of Asian American Studies Program Web site www.aasp.uiuc.edu.

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What is the most interesting thing you have discovered over the course of your research?

Out of the works that you have authored, which is your favorite and why?

I enjoy reading, going to museums, eating out in new restaurants, of course and watching the Food Channel. Did I say eating?

test between the individual and some other person or persons in his environment over the control of the

individual's body.

JOE PLAHUTNIK â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

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hidden gem review

THE COLOR OF MONEY A

t h e

Tamahori piles on the car chases, fight sequences and explosions.

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TIM PETERS â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

s o u n d s

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Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always interesting to see how a big box

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SYD SLOBODNIK â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

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cal problems, not psychiatric: each condenses and e x p r e s s e s a con-

MA Y 5

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Showtimes for 5/6 thru 5/12

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Addiction, obesity , and !"#$%#"&'( (anorexia nervosa) are politi-

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The film has a definite visual flair.

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MILLION DOLLAR BABY 3 STARS

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first things first

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Silver Bullet Bar 344-0937

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BEST BAR IN CHAMPAIGN-URBANA BEST DJ’S AND MUSIC - BEST DRINK SPECIALS

MICHAEL COULTER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

opening this weekend

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It looks like it’s time to clean

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Do you have

a persuasive personality? Why not get paid for it?

4 •

buzz weekly

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j u s t

MA Y 5

I HAVE THIS TERRIBLE FEELING OF DÉJÀ VU.

GOVERNMENT IN ACTION — Tattoo/piercing parlor owner Paul Collurafici lost a contentious race in April for mayor of the Chicago suburb of River Grove, Ill., the victim not so much of his opponent,

The most wasted of all days is one without

wEiRd

chuck shepherd

G R E AT A R T ! — To conceal an enormous open-cast mining operation about 10 miles from Newcastle,

CUTTING-EDGE COW RESEARCH

Just

Another Night Out Drinking?

LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS

getting arrested

having unprotected sex fighting failing a test DUI missing class STI damaging your reputation

La!!hT e" . e e cummings • poet

-JIM RYUN

oF thE

LEAD STORY

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Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.

y o u r e v e r y d a y n e w s but hell, we’re weekly

nEwS

•

Losing control can mean losing a lot more.

Office of the Vice Chancellor for Student Affairs

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all by myself

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CARLY FISHER • STAFF WRITER

Expectations met at Sushi County O

f r o m

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s c e n e

w i l l

a s t r o l o g y

ARIES

(March 21-April 19)

TAU RU S

(April 20-May 20)

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

!"#$ %&'()*+'&,-./

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

a p r

2 8

LIBRA

m a y

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

S AG I T TA R I U S

(Nov. 22-Dec.21)

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Homework: What’s the single most important question you have to find an answer for in the next five years? Deliver your best guess to me at www.freewillastrology.com.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

uNDER c OVER

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|1-5| 2 2 4 5

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

PISCES

|6-9| 6

7 8

| 10 - 13 | 10 11 11

(Feb. 19-March 20)

12 12 13 13 13

| 14 - 17 | 17

0+)&&!)+1

28 32 33 35

| 18 - 21 | 18 19

20 21

| 22 - 24 | 22 22

22 23 23 23 24 24

| 25 - 26 | 25 25 26 26

| 27 |

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INTRO

*.12+'$"2'0)32+

BUZZ PIC OF THE WEEK

Editor’s Note This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow News of the Weird • Chuck Shephard First Things First • Michael Coulter

AROUND TOWN The skinny on healthy lifestyles • Joe Plahutnik q + a with Martin F. Manalansan The Local Sniff • Seth Fein

FEATURE PHOTO • DAVID SOLANA

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THE

26 • b u z z w e e k l y

T H E R I B B O N FA L L S O N T H E D E D I C AT I O N O F T H E U R B A N A F R E E L I B R A R Y ' S E X PA N S I O N .

MAIN EVENT Bob n’ Dave • Dave King

Tbis Bond

THE STINGER All By Myself • Carly Fisher Life in Hell • Matt Groening Free Will Astrology Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney

CLASSIFIEDS

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Free Concert Sunday, May 8 7:30 p.m. Wesley United Methodist 1203 W. Green St., Urbana voicesofthespirit.com

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BUZZ STAFF v o l u m e

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EDITOR’S NOTE

APARTMENTS

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207- 211 JOHN

INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

We want to meet YOU in person! LOCAL CASTING CALL Thursday, May 26 12 Noon - 3:00 pm Alpha Delta Phi Fraternity 310 E. John St. Champaign, IL 61820

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

DEADLINE:

Call

For complete details and application. Must be over 18 years old.

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

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HELP WANTED Full Time

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Billed rate: 35¢/word

Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

DON’T FORGET TO BRING YOUR TAPE!

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Fall 2005. Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Secured building. $320/month. Available June 1 and August ‘05. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Available Jan 05 1 bedroom $385 Campus. 367-6626 Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550 per month. 367-6626.

Transsexual needs help with makeup. Experience 1 to 2 years. Contact Debbie at 402-0131

Now & Fall 2005 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kenny. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480. 1 Br. $370 2 BR. $470 3 BR. $750 4 BR $755 Campus. 367-6626.

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Earn $5000 as an egg donor. Must be 20-29 and a non-smoker. Please call Alternative Reproductive Resources at 773-327-7315 or 847446-1001 to learn how you can help a family fulfill its dreams.

Organic vegetable farm, planting, harvesting, sales, equipment operation and maintenance. Full-time and part-time positions available. 217643-2031

Transportation 300 AUTOMOBILES

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Apartments Furnished/Unfurnished

1 bedroom lofts $525 2 bedrooms $585 3 bedrooms $750 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking. Fall ‘05, 367-6626

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420

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1005 S. SECOND, C

Efficiencies. Available now and Fall 2005. Secured building. Private parking. Laundry on site, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

1006 S. 3RD, C.

Aug 2005. 1 bedroom. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

105 E. John

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503- 505- 508 E. White

OLD TOWN CHAMPAIGN

All participants selected at producers’ discretion

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307 & 310 E. White 307 & 309 Clark

1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $545 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking. Fall 04, 367-6626

for DI/Buzz Advertising

HELP WANTED

Fall 2005 Prime Campus Location 2, 3 Bedrooms THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Furnished/Unfurnished

Administrative Assistant

Paid-in-Advance: 28¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue

410

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RATES:

First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50

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PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

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Available Fall 2005. 1& 2 bedroom furnished, great location. Includes parking. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

506 E. Stoughton, C

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420

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420

APARTMENTS Furnished

JOHN STREET APARTMENTS

509 E. White, C.

Aug. 2005. Large 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

HEALEY COURT APARTMENTS

307- 309 Healey Court. Fall 2005. Behind Gully’s. 2 bedrooms. Ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

HOUSES

DELUXE 2 BR

309 N. Busey, U. August of 2005. Fully furnished, W/D, ethernet and parking available. Close to Beckman. $595/mo. Call Chris anytime, 841-1996 or 403-1523

GREAT VALUE

602 E. Stoughton

Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet, and parking available. Must see!! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

APARTMENTS

430

Unfurnished

NEED A 1 BR!

Quality apartments and houses for rent • Many pet-friendly locations • Furnished AND Unfurnished units • 9 month leases negotiable at some locations

Other Rentals 500

• On-campus or off-campus • Excellent Tenant Union record • Weekend/evening showings by appointment

CALL US AT (217) 384-6930 VIEW OUR LISTINGS @ www.johnsmithproperties.com

510

2 bedroom and 7 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2004. 367-6626. Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2850 367-6626 Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2700 367-6626

ROOM & BOARD

540

Want community? Vegetarian meals? Affordable private rooms? www.couch.coop

ROOMMATE WANTED 550 1 bedroom, near campus $300 per month 367-6626

brighten someone’s thursday

place a buzz personal (217) 337.8337

y l k e e w

Historic Lincoln Hotel

New Balance Urbana

Come To The New Balance Store

384-8800

Breakfast - Lunch - Dinner 128 Luxury rooms with a European touch. Indoor swimming pool & hot tub. Alumni Tap: $1.50 Drafts Miller/Bud Light EVERY DAY

ÂŠ 2003 New Balance Shoe, Inc.

209 S. Broadway Urbaana IL

z buz FREE

6 O5 | O5 | O5 . O5 | 11 | O5 champaign . urbana