Buzz Magazine: May 24, 2007

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w e e k l y

champaign . urbana

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GO BACK IN TIME AT ROCKOME GARDENS

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BANDS HEAD TO SUMMER CAMP

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SURVIVING SEXUAL ABUSE

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THAT’S NOT FUNNY!

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volume

5

no.20

Cover Design • Maria Surawska Editor in Chief • Tatyana Safronova Art Director • Nikita Sorokin Copy Chief • Meghan Whalen Listen, Hear • Caitlin Cremer Stage, Screen & in Between • Keri Carpenter Around Town • Stephanie Prather CU Calendar • Alyssa Vale Photography Editor • Amelia Moore Designer • Maria Surawska Calendar Coordinators • Caitlin Cremer, Bonnie Steirnberg Photography • Amelia Moore, Nikita Sorokin, Pat Fahrner Copy Editors • Whitney Harris, Will Kurlinkus Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Mike Ingram, Kim Rice, Ross Wantland Sales Manager • Mark Nattier Marketing/Distribution • Brandi Wills Publisher • Mary Cory

TALK TO BUZZ

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BUZZ STAFF

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UNDER THE COVER |1-3| 3 3 3 |4-5| 4 5 |6-9| 6 8 8 9 | 10 - 11 | 10 | 12 - 13 | 12

on the web: www.readbuzz.com e-mail: buzz@readbuzz.com | 14 - 15 | write: 512 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820 call: 217.337.3801 | 16 - 17, 20 | We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish 16 a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to 16 publication date. 17 Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company 20 and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students. | 18 - 19 |

INTRO This Modern World Life in Hell First Things First

AROUND TOWN Rockome Gardens’ Living History Cafe Luna’s Tempting Tapas

LISTEN, HEAR Summer Camp Music Festival CU Sound Revue Spin it/Flip it/Reverse it A Quickie With Sundowner

THE HOOPLA It’s the Beats I’m After

STAGE, SCREEN & IN BETWEEN Movie reviews

CLASSIFIEDS THE STINGER Doin’ it Well Jonesin’ Crosswords Free Will Astrology Likes and Gripes

CU CALENDAR

Š Illini Media Company 2007

tatyana safronova EDITOR’S NOTE I went home to the Ch ic a g o subu r b s l a s t week to visit my family for five days. My parents love to eat meat, everyday; thinly sliced grilled beef, homem ade l iver pâtĂŠ, grilled salmon (I consider f ish to be meat), cured salmon, pork roast, and so forth. But my mom and I wage a silent, diplomatic war, because I rarely eat meat on my own and to her my habits border on blasphemy. Case in point, the night before I left for Champaign, she sat down next to me and calmly began to describe the dietary benefits of eating meat. Little does she know, I tend to avoid buying meat because I haven’t mastered cooking it just yet. But a more meaningful reason is that there’s a lot swaying me to be, if not a vegetarian, at least a more conscious consumer. In Stiff, a book I’m currently reading which discusses the use of cadavers in scientific research, the author, compares the challenges of experimenting on life-like cadavers to eating meat. “Dissection and surgical instruction, like meat-eating, require a carefully maintained set of illusions and denial.â€? We happily can avoid the realities of butchering animals now that we have slaughterhouses and grocery stores that do it for us, but let’s apply our denial to our wider relationship to consumption animals. According to a press release from the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations which highlighted the organization’s recent report, “the livestock sector generates more greenhouse gas emissions ‌ than transport. It is also a major source of land and water degradation.â€? The news release says that meat and dairy production is set to double in 2050 from

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the levels documented at the turn of the 21st century, even though now, livestock use 30 percent of the earth’s entire land surface and require 33 percent of the global arable land for feed production. In the process, land and water are destroyed though factors like overgrazing, erosion, water pollution and destruction of marine biodiversity. I’m not a vegetarian or a vegan, because of varying reasons like family (I ate all the meat my mom cooked when I was at home to show my love for my mom as well as to enjoy the taste of her cooking). Also, it is because whether or not I buy meat will not have an effect on the things that worry me because meat production is still projected to reach 1043 million tons in about 40 years, and because I like to think I’m helping when I buy soymilk and cage-free eggs produced by hens that haven’t been given antibiotics. But I wonder why, this far down the line, we haven’t made more sacrif ices and instead have been too shy to speak out about what is undoubtedly looming on the horizon. Yes, there’s an organic isle in your local grocery store, and there’s a shelf in the freezer for veggie burgers. But then there are tons and tons of meat, cheese, eggs and milk, and we don’t really care where they come from because they all taste so good. I beg to differ that our health and our environment are not high priorities. I foresee no end to my war over meat with my mom, but I suggest we all do some heav y reading and research and decide what sacrif ices should be made. Here’s to our collective health! For more interesting reading, suggestions and solutions, go to: http://www.slate.com/id/2142547/ http://www.fao.org/newsroom/en/ news/2006/1000448/index.html

sounds from the scene

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buzz weekly •

DID YOU KNOCK OVER MY YELLOW MOTOR SCOOTER?

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michael coulter FIRST THINGS FIRST

OUR WORST PRESIDENT EVER ...does that come as a surprise to anyone? I ’v e b e e n d o i n g t h i s column for a long-ass time. I sort of stumbled across this observation over the weekend in an odd manner. I was reading about the war in Iraq (that’s still going on, by the way), and it occurred to me how much of it all has become nothing more than static. I read a headline about 10 or 20 people dying on one side or the other and that’s about it. I’m sort of past the point of being surprised by any of it. Back to the original sentence, I began writing this weekly column for buzz about a month before the war started. I’m still going, it’s still going. It’s probably a shame someone couldn’t stop both of them before they got such a head of steam and got on everyone’s nerves. In one of those early columns, I compared us re-electing Bush to waking up with a crazy woman after a regrettable night of drinking tequila, except that this one-night stand was going to be sticking around for four more years. Now it appears that the relationship has moved on from unhappy dating to unhappy relationship. Geez Louise, Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin get along better than our country and our president and we don’t seem to care a damned bit about it anymore. This whole crazy train of thought started when I was reading about some comments ex-president Jimmy Carter made about our current leader. Mr. Carter may not have been the best president ever, but I’d wager that he will be the last truly decent man to ever hold the office. He struck me as thoughtful, fair and with a genuine desire to make things better … basically he was exactly the opposite of what we have right now. Carter had his problems, no doubt, but at least he was honest. Apparently, he still is. In an interview published last weekend in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, he pointed out he felt George W. Bush’s administration was the “worst in history” as far as international relations goes. Wow, that would be a pretty bold statement if it wasn’t so painfully true. I don’t have any cold hard facts, but just a quick glance will tell you that a whole hell of a lot of people around the world hate us more than ever before. Seriously, name one country that likes us more since he took over. I mean, the one we’re supposedly trying to help by bombing the piss out of it can’t like us all that much, right? Carter continued to rip him a new one. “The overt reversal of America’s basic values

as ex pressed by prev ious adm in istrations, including those of George H.W. Bush, Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon and others, has been the most disturbing to me.” Man, I don’t know, Jimmy’s making a whole hell of a lot more sense than any of the political commentators. He’s right, though. What makes that last comment even worse is that I can find a whole lot wrong with Bush 1, Reagan and Nixon, and yet Carter points out that the new little bastard is worse than all of them. Once again though, he’s right. Bush 1 got Iraq out of Kuwait, Reagan got a wall torn down, Nixon restarted relations with China. You have to feel pretty good about all of those things. There’s not much to feel good about these days. I can’t remember the last (or first for that matter) time our president has sat down and made any effort to negotiate with anyone. There’s just this sort of arrogance that if we have a problem with you, we plan to shoot first and ask questions later. If we don’t have a reason to invade you, don’t sweat it, we’ll make one up. Sure, our sacrifice of troops will be high, but we’ll spread that out over several years so it doesn’t really seem that bad. Rich guys make more money, poor folks die, we blame all of it on terrorism and that’s about the only plan we have in place so far. Sadly, it looks like it’s working, at least for the president. He’s a misbehaving child and we as a country have decided to ignore him until he straightens up. Well, you know what, I think this misbehaving child may have a little bit of that Damien kid from The Omen in him because I just don’t see him behaving any better until his time is done. For some reason, we just let him continue. Remember all the crap Clinton got for sticking a cigar into an unattractive girl’s vagina? Hells bells, they were trying to impeach the freaking guy. All things considered, I’d take a little tobacco penetration over a neverending war any day of the week. One’s just sort of creepy, but the other one, that’s getting a whole bunch of people killed. Everyone’s trying to make Carter’s comments seem to be unprecedented and I suppose they are. I happen to think he’s right and the comments are more than deserved. When you get right down to it, Carter’s comments aren’t any more unprecedented than the reckless way Bush is running our country. It’d be sort of nice if some other folks would follow Jimmy Carter’s lead, go out on a limb and state the obvious. Either way, I guess it’s nice to know at least one person still cares.

OOPS! WE MADE A MISTAKE • Audra Martin, the Toffee Lady featured in our April 26 issue, sells her home-made toffee at the

Urbana Farmer’s Market every Saturday from 7 a.m. to 12 p.m. at the southeast lot of Lincoln Square Mall. • Although buzz strives for accuracy, we sometimes make mistakes. If you catch something we didn’t, please let use know at buzz@readbuzz.com. When a correction is needed, it will be listed here.

sounds from the scene

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around town

ROCKOME GARDENS’ LIVING HISTORY Reenacting 18th century magic and military JANICE MCDUFFEE • STAFF WRITER

Chuck Young, dressed as a Civil War-era soldier, poses for a portrait. Young is helping transform the Rockome Gardens into a Civil War recreation park through his talent and knowledge of the costumes of this era.

W

PHOTO BY AMELIA MOORE

hile searching for an alternative to local restaurants and bars for weekend enjoyment, one should look slightly past the Amish farms and horse buggies in Arcola, Ill., to Rockome Gardens. On Mother’s Day weekend, several families from central Illinois ventured to Rockome Gardens and had the privilege of watching an 18th century magic show, while standing next to four Civil War Union soldiers, as a Revolutionary War band prepared for their next performance in the background. Rockome Gardens is notable for several features, namely those representing the old, country style living practiced by the Amish who live in the area. From May 11 to the 13 the Gardens featured a special event, “A Journey in Time,” that featured a conglomeration of displays and demonstrations from different time periods, from 18th century magic to Civil War soldiers firing their rounds of volleys. The magic shows were performed by a traveling family act, Faire Wynds Entertainment, and were representative of an 18th century circus, where the “magic” was acknowledged as a set of tricks. The performance was lead by Eric Paul Scites, who made the show a combination of entertainment and a short history lesson. Scites was accompanied by his wife Susan, a contortionist, and son Corwin, whose talents include juggling and the ability to lie shirtless on a bed of nails, according to the group’s Web site. The act also usually contains the Scites’ daughter, Virginia, as well. Their performance at Rockome included a series of tricks including “mindreading,” illusions with three cups and a growing ball, fire juggling and placing Susan in a box and stabbing it with 11 blades. True to the form of 18th century magicians, the Scites allowed audience members to walk up to the box and view Susan’s twisted body. A worker in costume adjusts a live water hose to better irrigate the growing plants and flowers in the garden. PHOTO BY NIKITA SOROKIN

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listen, hear

HEY CAMPERS, LOOKY HERE! CAITLIN CREMER • MUSIC EDITOR

Between CU and Chicago, the Summer Camp Musical Festival has acquired what I like to call the Seven Wonders: a musical compilation of various indie-rock bands branching out of these two lovely areas. Just for you, we’ve made a schedule chart for buzz-worthy bands, ultra-quickies with Santa and Zmick and a size-‘em-up listing of the Chicago bands. Check. It. Out. SANTA:

We fit into Summer Camp because … “we are children of the sun who were born to sing.”

We are super fabulous because … “we wear very

ZMICK:

We fit in because … “we’re really familiar with the atmosphere and the enviroment. In fact, if it weren’t for Summer Camp 2003 (my first), I probably wouldn’t be creating the music that I am today. The festival is the biggest musical event of the year for us, and the Canopy Club and we’re all really looking forward to it.”

We are super fabulous because … “we live in a giant walk-in cooler. We are super cool because all of our fans are turned on (high).”

expensive, very modern and very European clothing — not because we like how it looks and feels, but because we’re mocking the ocean.”

And don’t forget, Kilborn Alley is playing, too! Now on for some tastes from Chicago … 56 HOPE ROAD: Happy-times acoustic. CHICAGO AFROBEAT PROJECT: Just-like-it’s-supposedto-be Afrobeat. CORNMEAL: Giddy Bluegrass. BACK YARD TIRE FIRE: ( T hey’re act u a l ly f rom Bloomington, eh … ) stomp-your-boots rock. TREOLOGIC: Bad-ass hip-hop jazz.

MEDESKI, MARTIN & WOOD

Serving up smoked jazz over the fires of Summer Camp STEVE PLOCK • STAFF WRITER

To a lot of music fans today, the word jazz still conjures images of trumpets, saxophones, splashy cymbals, upright bass and flute, thanks to Ron Burgundy. In a world dominated by hip-hop, pop, and alternative rock, jazz may seem like a musical predecessor; a genre decrepit and void of relevance in popular music today. This is far from the truth. In the case of the acid jazz trio Medeski, Martin & Wood, jazz has become an amalgamation of hiphop, synthesizers, funk, and rock and roll. What had begun as a more traditional jazz trio in New York in the early ’90s has now transformed into an energetic, funkified improvisational powerhouse. Now armed with their own record label, Medeski, Martin & Wood (MMW) have the tools and freedom to herald in their new age of jazz fusion. After spending seven years on Blue Note Records, the band decided to leave Blue Note and start their own label. “It was just about time that we did it,” drummer Billy Martin said. While the band did receive pressure from the major label over the years, it was the pressure the band put on themselves that would create the most stress. “It was the expectations of a business that was not our own that caused the most pressure,” Martin said. “They let us do what we wanted to do, but we never took advantage of making more side projects.” Now on their own label, the band has the freedom that every musician craves, and with that freedom comes the ability to create all of the pet projects that have been tabled over the years, such as Mago, the duet album which is two-thirds of Medeski, Martin & Wood. Featuring drummer Billy Martin and keyboardist John Medeski, the album has been a dream since 1989 when the two first began playing together in a New York apartment. “There is a certain sound of organ and drums that I love,” said Martin. “We got to know each other through the music and we’ve always talked about doing a record.” The other member of MMW, bassist Chris Wood, has been busy on his own projects as well. Teaming up with his brother Oliver Wood, the two formed the Wood Brothers, a guitar and bass duo rooted in blues and soul music. INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, H EAR | THE HOOPLA | STAGE, S CREEN &

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While all three of the members remain busy outside of their own band, the trio does not lose focus on the music they make together. “Anything we do outside of Medeski, Martin & Wood is going to come back into the band and influence it,” admits Martin. “We need that kind of interaction with other things to make ourselves better musicians and our band better.” Aside from branching out to other projects, the group equally enjoys bringing in some friends to help their own music out. In 1997 the group joined legendary jazz guitarist John Scofield on his album A Go Go. Ever since, the band has hoped to reunite with Scofield to create another album. Now on their own record label, the group called up Scofield and began work on a more collaborative album. The result was MMWs first release, Out Louder, on their new label. The album also spawned a world tour which the quartet is still finishing up. Having toured the States last winter, the group just returned from Japan to do a few more dates in the U.S., only to head back to Europe mid-summer. Unfortunately, not every project has come to fruition. Almost a year ago, as the band was just starting its label, they were approached by another smaller label to create a children’s album. Given a small budget, the band agreed to do the album. After a short while, the album was completed and according to Martin was “one of the best MMW records.” “We just had a lot of fun with it,” Martin said. “We wrote this stuff in two days and we did a really good job.” Featuring raps by toddlers and songs about pirates and monsters that leave lint in your pocket, the band became truly excited for the release of this album, but problems arose. Having been bought out by a larger record company, the independent label that warranted the children’s album is now in the position of convincing this larger label to release the record, an issue MMW has no control over. But according to Martin, the album, titled Let’s Go Everywhere, will see the shelves in the future. For Billy Martin, the new label will help some of his earliest B ETWEEN | CLASSIFIEDS | THE STINGER | CU CALENDAR

PHOTO COURTESY OF THE MICHIGAN DAILY

dreams come true. Growing up in the ’70s and ’80s in New York, hip-hop has played a large role in Martin’s life and also influenced his contribution to MMW. Martin has already worked with several DJs on some of their albums, and hopes to one day create an entirely hip-hop focused project. “I don’t know if it will happen, but if it does I would be really excited,” said Martin. “Now that we own our own music it could be something that might happen.” Back in the States for a few weeks, MMW will of course be in on the festival circuit. The trio will be playing two sets at this year’s Summer Camp Music Festival and the Martin and Medeski duo will play a special show at this year’s Bonnaroo. Having ultimate and total freedom, the future of Medeski, Martin & Wood is one of the most exciting and highly anticipated in the world of music. sounds from the scene

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GROOVATRON: 7-8:30pm,

SATURDAY

FRIDAY TEA LEAF GREEN: 1:30-3:30am,

Sunshine Stage

Late Night in the Red Barn; 6-7:30pm, Sunshine Stage

THE FUZ: 8-9pm,

FAMILY GROOVE COMPANY:

Camping Stage

7

SUNDAY

GROOVATRON: 12-1pm,

BACKYARD TIRE FIRE:

5-6:30pm, Sunshine Stage

Moonshine Stage

FAMILY GROOVE COMPANY:

10:30-11:30pm, Late Night in the Red Barn

12-1pm, Sunshine Stage

KELLER WILLIAMS: 4:30-6pm,

Moonshine Stage

WAILERS: 3-4pm, Moonshine

HOT ‘N’ BIG

CU FRIENDS

THURSDAY

7 WONDERS

buzz weekly •

SPOROGENESIS.

Stage

UMPHREY’S MCGEE: 6:309:30pm, Moonshine Stage MOE.: 10pm-12am, Late Night in

the Red Barn

ZMICK: 3:30-4:30pm, Camping Stage

SANTA: 6:30-7:30pm, Camping Stage

sounds from the scene

MEDESKI MARTIN & WOOD:

LES CLAYPOOL: 4:30-6pm, Moonshine Stage

2-4am, Late Night in the Red Barn; 4:30-6pm, Moonshine Stage

UMPHREY’S MCGEE: 6:30-8pm,

GALACTIC: 2:30-4pm, Moonshine Stage; 12-2am (Mon.), Late Night in the Red Barn

Moonshine Stage

MOE.: 8:30pm-12am, Moonshine

Stage

56 HOPE ROAD: 12-1am, Late Night in the Red Barn

MOE.: 6:30-10, Moonshine Stage

56 HOPE ROAD: 1:30-2:30pm,

CHICAGO AFROBEAT PROJECT:

11am-12pm, Sunshine Stage

Camping Stage

KILBORN ALLEY BLUES BAND:

TREOLOGIC: 3-4pm, Camping Stage

3-4pm, Camping Stage CORNMEAL: 3-4pm, Sunshine Stage

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PARTHENOGENESIS

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cu sound revue MIKE INGRAM

Local bands spring forth for benefit

Turn it up!

102 S Neil Champaign

The benef it show for the Paul Martin Memorial Fund, highlighted in such publications as my awesome column last week, will rock the Highdive this Friday. Paul, an avid music fan in general, and a lover of all things local, passed away in January — though his mustache will live on in our memories. Of the eight children he left behind, three are still very young, prompting an education fund to be set up. You can contribute to this fund and see a fantastic show at the same time on Friday. Set to take the Highdive stage: Cameron McGill — Champaign-native turned Chicagoan, mighty with the pen; Erin Fein and Tristan Wraight – Headlights front-persons make an incredibly rare acoustic appearance, meaning anything could happen; elsinore – local rockers will cut short a recording session to lend a hand; Darling Disarm – Kayla Brown finally has a solid rhythm section behind her; Leslie Stevens – the California singer and friend of Cameron McGill is all about helping. That’s quite an awesome lineup already, but there are other acts rumored. Will Margot and the Nuclear So & So’s lead singer Richard Edwards drop in for a solo set? Might Adam Schmitt make a rare appearance with cohort Anthony Gravino? I don’t know — they won’t call back. But we’ll see! The cover charge will be a minimum donation of $7, but you can obviously feel free to contribute more than that, though I doubt that Espi will respond nicely to any requests for receipts for tax purposes. Ask at your own risk. 9 p.m. start time. Thursday is the official kickoff date for this year’s Summer Camp Festival in Chillicothe, Ill., and this year’s lineup will once again include some local bands. Santa, Zmick and Kilborn

Alley will be included alongside bands like moe., Tea Leaf Green and Keller Williams. You can find more info about tickets and camping passes at www.summercampfestival.com/2007. On Thursday night, Cowboy Monkey will once again play host to a comedy night, this time featuring Jarrod Harris, Elise Crocker and buzz columnist Mike Coulter with stories about what a crotchety fucker he is. Cover is only $5 for a night of hilarity starting at 9 p.m. Recent open mic goers might be a little pensive about comedy on the Cowboy Monkey stage, but trust me, it had nothing to do with the room. Also on Thursday evening, Barb Hamilton will play Aroma Café’s weekly acoustic series for free at 8 p.m. Aroma now has a freezer full of ice cream sandwiches and the like. Relive your childhood by eating an orange push pop. You know you want to. Over at the Iron Post you can catch a set from the Jake Hertzog Trio at 7 p.m. for $5. That’s the good kind of jazz, folks. Friday’s ongoing happy hour battle between Cowboy Monkey and the Iron Post continues this week, as the Post plays host (yeah, I typed it) to the Jeff Helgesen Quintet at 5 p.m. while the Monkey presents the New Orleans Jazz Machine at 5:30 p.m. This week, victory in the battle is claimed by CM’s Ward Gollings, who entered the cover charge on openingbands. com as “FREE!” Take that, Paul Wirth, with your “no cover.” Of course, those who know Paul are probably just excited to see that for the cover charge he didn’t put “go fuck yourself.” So, there’s that. Later at the Iron Post you can catch Lynn O’Brien and Chris Garneau. 10 p.m., $5. In the spirit of all of the fests that have been overrunning the CU area in recent months, Duo-fest will sally forth on Saturday night at Mike ’n Molly’s. The cover charge will only

be $2 to coincide with the whole “duo” thing (reports that Seth Fein is planning a Quintetfest, Septet-fest after 10 p.m. may or may not be true). The lineup is made up entirely of two-piece bands, including Triple Whip, Water Between Continents, Clatter, The International Theatre of War and The Rise and Fall of Tomax and Xomat. Triple Whip drummer Jane Boxall hints at other surprises, including some collaborations. My hope is that I will walk in the doors to find downtown Champaign’s own Margaret asking for my $2 cover charge. Starts at 8! A quick hop over Walnut Street will take you to the release show for Brother Embassy’s epic new album, Music Knows No Color But Love. For one night only (actually, for one set only), Cowboy Monkey will become a funk palace. People of all ages and races will suddenly find themselves unable to control their bodies. They will be driven to get funky. Showtime is 10 p.m., with a $5 cover. Tourvere and mad mardigan will open the show. Sunday brings along another installment of 79 Sundays at the Iron Post. Three bands, three styles, two hours. This week: New Ruins, Kate Hathaway and Tourvere. $3.50 at the door. Casados — fresh from a nationwide tour — will step into the Great Hall at WEFT on Monday for a WEFT Sessions performance. You can listen from 10-11 p.m. on 90.1 FM, or you can head on down to the station at 113 N. Market in Champaign to watch live. Tuesday night brings the fantastic Iowa band Death Ships back to town. Previously seen in CU playing with elsinore, and also playing as Jay Bennett’s backing band and opener, the band will make a stop at Cowboy Monkey. 10 p.m., $5. The Confines also play. Mike Ingram can be reached at forgottenwords@ gmail.com. Hey, why not?

SPIN IT ROUND,

Concerting: Art rock, corporate orgasms

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IN

WWW.KNUSTHAMBURG.DE

F r o m M a y 18 t o the 20th, the Chicago Theatre was jampacke d w it h d apper hipsters and drunken you ng profe s sion a l s. Shock ingly, it wasn’t because of the hit musical comedy Shear Madness. Arcade Fire, everyone’s favorite art-rockers, brought these flocks of people upon the historic theatre. Besides the expected crowd, a diverse variety of ages and backgrounds of people also showed up. The band’s popularity has grown faster than Robin Williams in Jack, and now it’s more than just apathetic scenesters in hoodies mentally getting down at the shows. Not only did this make for fantastic people-watching, but it brings up issues of what a concert is and to whom.

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To take the issue on the flip side, last summer I ventured out to the Midwest Bank of America Industries Incorporated dot org Amphitheatre (formerly the Tweeter Center, formerly The World) in Tinley Park to see none other than America’s Idol, Kelly Clarkson. Loading up my van with some friends and one’s young niece to legitimize our attendance, we headed out to the venue with a lot of excitement and surprisingly little irony. What we got was a whirlwind of pop music pizzazz. Appearing as a silhouette, Kelly was met with insane screaming and flailing of all varieties and in the midst of explosions and fireworks a screen dropped revealing the superstar and the crowd reached a collective glitter-laden orgasm. There were costume changes, set changes, millions of video stimuli and a little boy moved to tears directly to our right. The whole event was pretty hilarious and a lot of fun. Watching a sounds from the scene

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AGAMOGENESIS.

AFTER-CONCERT QUICKIE

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Sundowner AMY MEYER • STAFF WRITER

Sundowner is the solo side project of Chris McCaughan, vocalist and guitarist of the Chicago based band the Lawrence Arms. McCaughan released his debut solo album entitled Four One Five Two this past March. The album also features Jenny Choi from Sanawon on cello, keys and vocals. I got a chance to catch up with McCaughan at his headlining show in Chicago at the Abbey Pub on May 18. buzz: How did you come to the decision to do this Lawrence Arms side project? McCaughan: Basically I had a lot of songs and for whatever reason they started to build up and I wasn’t using them for the Lawrence Arms; they didn’t really seem right. There had been some talk with my friend Toby that if I did do a record he would want to put it out, so I started to get a little more serious about it. It wasn’t too, oh I’m going to start a solo project, a side project or whatever, I wasn’t necessarily super intent on doing that, it just started to evolve. buzz: How did you get Jenny (Choi from the band Sanawon) involved on the record? MC: I saw her out at a Methadones show one day and I’d been thinking about how I wanted to run into her so I could ask her to play for the record. So I saw her this one night and I had had a bunch of drinks and I was like, “Jenny, you’ve got to play on my record!” She thought I was totally kidding, just being a drunk and not being serious at all, but then I kept calling her like, no really, I want you to play on this record. She ended up writing a lot of cello lines and melodies for the record.

buzz: Is Su ndow ner just a pa r t t i me t h i ng; is you r ma i n foc us st i l l on t he Lawrence Arms? MC: Being in a band like the Lawrence Arms, we have two primary songwriters. It’s a cool kind of challenge, but it’s a fun thing to do to put a record together yourself, that’s one of the things we don’t really do in the Lawrence Arms. It was a really cool opportunity to be like, you know what? I wrote this record front to back. buzz: Do you want to do a full U.S. tour? MC: I don’t know. I’m doing some dates with Smoke or Fire after this show. I have clumps of four or five shows in mind. I don’t really know how to tour by myself yet, this is totally new for me. While I would want to go out and play shows, I’m not about to just go out, get in the car, and hit the road and do some ridiculous, crazy journey to play all over the country. I’m trying to pick and choose spots and see what kind of opportunities I get. As long as I keep it good times, I think it’ll be good. buzz: What’s going on with the Lawrence Arms? MC: We’re hanging out, everyone’s here tonight. We’re doing a few shows in California in July for the 11-year Asian Man (Records) Anniversary, that’s the next thing we’re really doing. We’re hanging out at home in Chicago. buzz: How does growing up and living in Chicago your whole life effect/influence your music? MC: I’ve lived here my whole life and been fortunate enough to travel a lot and I still think

this is my favorite city in the world of all the places I’ve been. This is such an awesome city, people here are so good, everything about it is great. This is a place where all my friends are that make music. This is where it’s at, the best in the world. buzz: If you could let a person know just one thing about Sundowner, what would it be? MC: I’m a pretty “good times” oriented person. You should come see Sundowner because I’m a nice guy, and I have to be up there all by myself sometimes and it’s really weird if there’s nobody there.

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and Kelly Clarkson

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• STAFF WRITER

bunch of adoring fans not caring about relevance or sonic atmosphere our even sound quality was pretty refreshing. Clapping and singing along wasn’t looked down upon but was necessary. The $40 T-shirts didn’t even anger me. Despite it being totally fabricated by corporate sleaze bags, the whole event seemed so much more innocent and pure than what I have been used to by going to too many Andrew Bird or Akron Family type concerts. To bring it back to Arcade Fire, the concert featured a level of drama and pomp not seen in most concerts. There was a dramatic, funny, but also scary intro video featuring a woman preacher. Video screens showed the members playing in grainy black and white and the crowd was pushed to uncontrollable f its of dancing and shaking. My friend accidentally punched a security guard in the ecstasy of the concert. Does that sound similar? The Arcade Fire

COMEDIAN JARROD HARRIS

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FLIP IT, REVERSE IT BRIAN MCGOVERN

9

concert was almost identical, in experience, to the Kelly Clarkson concert; only it wasn’t little girls jumping up and down. We were urged to clap to the beats and shout when necessary. People went bananas when “Rebel lion” appeared out of a cacophonic drone late in the set just as Kelly Clarkson saved “Walk Away” for her fi nale. Does this make Kelly or Arcade Fire more legitimate? I think it shows that it’s not about how many records you sell or how many best of critics’ lists you end up on, it’s how a band can make a couple thousand people not be little girls with self-made T-shirts or grown women with dramatic bangs and a hand-sewn dress, but be channels of music. People are like those electronic flowers with the sunglasses and a plastic saxophone; a great musical artist is the hands clapping just right to make the flower shake.

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the

hoopla

PAUL PRIKAZSKY • STAFF WRITER

Move it or lose it, American Idol. Millions of viewers tune in weekly to watch legions of hacks croon and cry before a panel of auto-deified judges who determine the fates of contestants yearning for a little more than just 15 minutes. But I’ll give credit where it’s due; and sure, it takes courage performing on that chopping block politely referred to as a “stage.” But aside from belting out a little West Side Story in the shower, who really needs a national audience for embarrassment? I like to keep it local. When I feel like busting out a rousing rendition of “Meet Virginia,” I sing in Champaign’s only establishment which hasn’t kicked me to the curb: Geovanti’s. The crowd is an eclectic one, beer specials are plentiful and the selection of karaoke singalongs is mind-blowing. A more intimate atmosphere and the intoxicating presence of beer and spirits are any good karaoke joint’s bread and butter. And its informal stage keeps the impaired troubadours at even keel with the less ambitious clientele. Without liquid confidence, nobody could evoke “Sweet Caroline” with the unprecedented fervor characteristic of Geovanti’s patrons. And if singing’s not your thing? Then dance, you fool, dance. We can’t all “bring sexy back” like JT or “stay alive” like Travolta, but never underestimate the power of a wellstocked bar with an equally impressive dance floor that’s not a CO’s cesspool. And if you think you should be on

IT’S THE BEATS I’M AFTER

ALINA DAIN • STAFF WRITER

Are you bored in the Champaign-Urbana area this summer? Are you finding yourself in summer school with nothing to do and not too many people around to hang out with? Maybe there’s a girl or a guy who you’re looking to impress. Well, consider salsa dancing lessons as a way to pass your time and to make yourself hip in time for the fall. Just as the name salsa, flavor or sauce in Spanish, implies, the salsa dance is a teasing, playful and perfect way to make a move on that significant other. People have been going crazy dancing salsa around campus; isn’t it time you caught up? Salsa is not a uniform Latin dance; rather, it is a mixture of different styles originating in Cuba, the Caribbean, Latin America and North America. The dance is performed to salsa music, a Spanish Caribbean and Cuban genre. Salsa can also refer to the style of music and dance that was developed in New York City by Cuban and Puerto Rican immigrants in the 1960s and 1970s and is now spreading to Latin dance clubs around the world. Salsa dancing is a great way to meet new friends and, to the men out there: girls dig guys who know how to dance. To learn the steps and maybe even become an advanced salsa dancer, consider attending Gold’s Gym’s new weekly salsa

Karaoke and Dirty Dancin’ in CU

classes. Various salsa classes are taught by students from various organizations throughout the year. “This class is taught by Cindy, a professional instructor. To learn this new dance from someone who really knows her stuff will make the experience much more worthwhile,” says a representative from the Gym. Salsa music is extremely addictive. Once you get on the dance floor, your leg moves this way, you arms move

Dancing with the Stars, Soma’s the place to shake what yo’

that way and before you know it, you can’t stop dancing.

mama gave ya.

On Wednesday nights, it’s particularly hard to be in KoFusion

A classy establishment light-years removed from dumpy

or Soma – two fancy bars in downtown Champaign – watching

campus bars, Soma has Chi-town appeal in no man’s land

your friends dance it out to the music, your body telling you

Illinois. A revolving roster of DJs steers the contemporary

to move with them, and not knowing a single step. Now is

playlists away from MTV repetition and keeps the beats

your chance. If you’re too lazy to go to CRCE or IMPE on

consistently thumpin’. And if you’re feeling particularly

a regular basis, salsa dancing is a great way to stay in shape.

Latin, there are also weekly salsa classes.

There’s nothing better than having fun while staying fit. The

Sing or dance — whatever you’re in the mood for —

classes are every Thursday at 7:30 at Gold’s Gym and only five

there’s a place for it. Want to be the next American Idol? PHOTO COLLAGE BY AMELIA MOORE

There’s a perfect spot for you to get loose just around

dollars each. Have fun!

the corner.

“To learn this new dance from someone who really knows her stuff will make the experience much more worthwhile.” — Representative from Gold’s Gym. PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY PAT FAHRNER

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stage, screen & i n b e t w e e n

MOVIE REVIEWS

BLACK BOOK

SYD SLOBODNIK • STAFF WRITER

For 20 years, Dutch director Paul Verhoeven has been known for his American genre films, which have been noted for their loads of cheap ultra-violence and sleazy sexual content. While Robo Cop, Total Recall, Showgirls and Basic Instinct all made him financially successful, many fans have wondered if he’d ever return to the quality of filmmaking that characterized his early career in Holland. For a switch, Verhoeven’s most recent film, Black Book, returns to his homeland to tell a compelling and heroic tale of Dutch resistance fighters in the waning days of World War II during Nazi occupation. Black Book — inspired by true events — is an original screenplay by Verhoeven and Gerard Soeteman. It combines the elements of the heroism of an action-adventure film with the personal tale of a Dutch Jewish woman’s trials as she survives the horrors of war. Rachel Stein is part singer, lover and resistance fighter. The title refers to a secret manuscript by a Jewish lawyer who betrayed his people for personal profit and position in the Nazi occupied territories. While Verhoeven fills this film with a fair amount of realistic war violence and scenes of rather explicit sexual content, strong performances and high production values dominate the film’s narrative. Carice van Houten stars as the central character, Rachel. Her vividly believable characterization guides the story over some rather exaggerated melodramatic hyperbole: undercover resistance missions, several foiled escapes, an affair

Sebastian Koch and Carice van Houten under a lot of things- especially covers- in “Black Book.” PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.ROTTENTOMATOES.COM

with a Gestapo commander and imprisonment/torture. Sebastian Koch’s Nazi lover and Thom Hoffman’s duplicitous Dutch doctor are van Houten’s most impressive male counterparts. Verhoeven’s film has an impressive visual style, with cinematographer Karl Lindenlaub and Wilbert Van Dorp’s production design, which contribute immensely to a natural recreation of the period. Black Book is a disturbingly historical saga that successfully blends talented acting with pulp action/adventure.

DELTA FARCE JEFF GROSS • STAFF WRITER

What do fat people, fart jokes, not laughing and rednecks have in common? Blue Collar Comedy. More specifically, the fattest and least funny of the four, Larry The Cable Guy. Why, oh why, do people keep putting him in movies, TV and on the fucking stage? Seriously, Larry, if you are reading this, I hate you. You’re not funny, your jokes suck and you piss me off. That said, let’s review the movie. To quote Jay Sherman, “it stinks.” Delta Farce, as a movie, can’t get much worse. It’s directed by a hack, written by nobodies and stars no one funny, unless of course you count DJ Quall’s performance in the movie The Core. Hell, Schindler’s List had more jokes than this movie. Question: What’s funny about a group of redneck soldiers getting sent to Mexico instead of Iraq? Answer: Nothing. Usually, crappy comedies have a remotely funny premise. Take Click: it was a failed extension of a hilarious Family Guy joke, starring Christopher Walken. Funny concept, terrible actual movie. But Delta Farce? No, no. I have a suspicion that this is how this movie was made: (Two executives at Lions Gate Entertainment are sitting around their office, smoking pot) Executive One: Dude, pass me the reefer, man. Executive Two: Hahahahaha ... Executive One: What’s this? (Executive One takes a big puff and then grabs a nearby script) Executive One: Oh man, look at this script, dude! Delta Farce, man. It’s like ... Delta Force, only ... it’s not! (Executive One takes another hit at this point) Executive Two: That’s like ... fuckin’ hilarious. Executive One: Totally ... In summation, Delta Farce is one of the worst movies ever made. It was so bad that I had to walk out on it about 40 minutes in. Fuck journalistic integrity, I’m not paid enough to watch this shit.

You might be better off catching a good movie on TV than wasting your time and money to see this “Cable Guy” in “Delta Farce.” PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.ROTTENTOMATOES.COM

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WTF.

SHREK THE THIRD SCOTT FRANKEL • STAFF WRITER

Shrek the Third isn’t as good as the first two, but then again, not many CGI films are. Just when Disney thinks they have monopolized animated children’s films, Dreamworks steals away enough thunder to make Shrek one of the biggest series in American cinema. In these regards, Shrek the Third provides more of a statement than a story. And even though it appeals more to kids, its emphasis on breaking the norm of fairy tales is ever so apparent.

Shrek (Mike Myers) and Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz) are the heirs to the throne in a land of storybook characters called “Far Far Away.� However, Shrek doesn’t think he can handle the responsibility of becoming king, so when he learns of Arthur (Justin Timberlake), a teenage “loser� who is the only other heir to the throne, Shrek, Donkey and their kitty cat friend, Puss In Boots, set out to find this young leader. However, just before his journey sets sail, knowledge of Fiona’s pregnancy scares Shrek, and he views his time with Arthur as a test of fatherhood. Meanwhile, antagonist Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) devises an evil scheme to recruit all the fairytale hooligans (i.e. Captain Hook, The Wicked Witches) and take over Far Far Away in hopes of being “rewritten� as saviors.

What makes Shrek so unique and successful is its deviated approach to popular children’s tales. Shrek is dissonant in that it entertains kids through the mocking of the tales we grew up with (Hans Christian Andersen, Disney, etc.) but still entertains children through this very form. The utopian society written in such stories and represented by a land “far, far away� has become a dystopian society where the roles of an ogre and a prince are switched. This is precisely what makes Shrek so brilliant. However, this third installment succumbed more to box-office numbers than the other two and included cheesier speeches and blatant, hokey messages. Nonetheless, Shrek the Third provides a healthy mix between cynicism and fantasy, allowing for a successful continuation to the series.

13

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What can he say? He didn’t do it. Antonio Banderas lends his voice to “Shrek the Third� as “Puss in Boots.� PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.ROTTENTOMATOES.COM

THE EX

MRUGESH BAVDA • STAFF WRITER

There are only two words that can describe the humor in The Ex: simple and subtle. The pacing of this film is often slow and at times unbearable. At first, it almost feels like a sitcom with potential, but this feeling does not last past the 22-minute mark. After the film loses its sitcom-like charm, it continues to drag on for 90 minutes. The Ex tries to build story and act funny, but it ultimately fails and leaves the audience with only a few chuckles for their money. The Ex stars Zach Braff (TV’s Scrubs) as Tom Rielly, a newly fired chef who moves from New York to Ohio with his wife Sofia (Amanda Peet, The Whole Nine Yards) and newborn son. Tom gets a job working with his father-in-law at an ad agency. Life seems as if it is going to be troublefree until he meets Chad ( Jason Bateman, Arrested sounds from the scene

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Development), his wife’s ex-boyfriend who is a paraplegic and is scheming to get back together with Sofia. Chad passively sabotages all of Tom’s presentations and manipulates his words. For some odd reason, Charles Grodin (from Beethoven), chose this film to break his 13 year absence from the screen. He does his best to build his character but with a weak script it only turns into something that is at most, slightly humorous. Everything in this movie is too convenient and predictable. Their are also some unrealistic scenes that ask the audience to stretch their imagination perhaps a bit too far. The only thing that is mildly entertaining about this picture is Jason Bateman’s character since it’s always fun to see the familiar plot of a scoundrel trying his hardest to get the girl. Teaming Zach Braff and Jason Bateman is one of the only enjoyable elements of the movie since they have their unique amusing relationship together both as characters and actors.

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If only Jason Bateman (left) and Zach Braff were as good with the ladies as they are with their instruments. “The Ex.� PHOTO COURTESY OF

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for the next Thursday’s edition.

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• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

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1BSU 5JNF Looking for a summer job you would be proud to add to your resume? The Daily Illini and Buzz is looking for a special projects sales person. If you: *Are a U of I Student *Are self-motivated, focused, and dependable *Enjoy learning about how small businesses make marketing decisions *Can work toward goals *Like to investigate and research ...then you should consider applying. Our sales department has a fun, productive atmosphere and you will gain great real world experience. No nights and weekends required; a minimum of 15 hours a week required M-F; pay is base plus commission and bonuses. If you are interested, please apply ASAP by emailing a short statement of your interest and qualifications to : nelliott@illinimedia.com. EOE

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Large property management company on campus looking for part-time apartment inspectors. Good hourly wage plus paid training. Must have car. Training starts beginning of June. Apply in-person today at 303 E. Green St., Champaign.

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'VSOJTIFE 6OGVSOJTIFE Courtyard on Randolph 713 S. Randolph, C. Now leasing for August. Furnished/ Unfurnished. Spacious 2 and 3 bedrooms starting at $630. Close to campus and downtown. Water, Direct TV and parking included. Balcony, laundry and seasonal pool. (217)352-8540 www.faronproperties.com

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2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

RATES: Billed rate: 39¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 33¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free. Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $20 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $10 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

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6OGVSOJTIFE Downtown/ Old Town Champaign Renting for July/ August 2007. 406 W. Washington- 2 BR $540 800 W. Church- 2 BR $470 507 W. White- 2 BR $530 511 W. University- 1 BR $415 205 S. Lynn- 1 BR $450 508 W. Hill- 1 BR $415 515 W. Washington- 1 BR $415 403 W. White- 1 BR $440 711 S. Randolph- 1 BR $415 Faron Properties 352-8540 www.faronproperties.com

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Illini Media is looking for parking spots available for the Fall Semester close to our building at 512 E. Green Street, Champaign. Please contact Sarah at 337-8315 or email sarah@illinimedia.com with any information.

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Condo for rent: 801 A Ramblewood Court, Savoy. 3 bed, 2 bath, 2 car garage, w/d, central air, enclosed porch, backyard, new kitchen appliances. Included garbage removal, sewer, yard maintenance and snow removal. Security deposit required. Available August 1. $900/mo. Call 378-6963

2 bedroom duplex, unfurnished. washer and dryer hookup, parking. In quiet southeast Urbana neighborhood. $530/mo. 384-1925.

603 W Washington, U. NICE! 1100 sf + 3/4 bsmt. 2 BR, 1BA, Office, 3rd BR/ Den, laundry, playroom, H/W floors upstairs. New roof, gutters, paint, flrs. 1/2 mile E. of UI Quad in WUNA. $179,000. 217-637-0740 or thomasmctighe.com/house.

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Luxury 1 BR apartment in downtown Urbana. 2 covered parking spots. $783/mo. Available for Fall 07-08. Contact John: 309-370-7582.

300.4

530

CAMPUS. Quality furnished room in house. Share kitchen, laundry, utilities. On busline. $235. 217-3560345, 217-721-2143.

300.."5& 8"/5&% 550 Female to share 4 BR spacious house in quiet residential neighborhood. 2 rooms available ($300 and $120). Internet and utilities included. 2102 Madison Ct., Champaign. Reference Required. 217-480-1022.

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kim rice & ross wantland DOIN’ IT WELL

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COLLAPSIBLE WOMEN:

THE (DIS)EMPOWERMENT OF SURVIVORS OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE Dear Kim and Ross,

jonesin CROSSWORD PUZZLE 12 Winter forecast 13 Your, in France 18 Lily variety 19 Opportunity, so to speak 24 Way off base? 25 Flour-making building 26 Old golf club aka 2 wood 27 Sought out, as an office 28 Playful river critter 29 Little giggle 30 “Access Hollywood” cohost Nancy 31 They may be tough to break 32 Poodle classification 33 Start of a U.S. Army slogan 34 “Blame It on the Bossa Nova” singer Gorme 35 Culminated in 39 Introductory chat room query initials 40 Singer/songwriter Aimee 41 Simple aquatic organism 46 “For Your Eyes Only” singer Sheena 47 Like the center space in bingo 48 In ___ (actually) 51 Name Jerry accidentally ters hinted at in the four “Ghost of a Chance” what’s 33 Actor Lugosi calls a girlfriend whose clues appear 36 Suffix for “pay” name rhymes with part the common link? 37 “___ Lot” (2007 reality 68 “In ___” (jokey postof the female anatomy, by Matt Jones script tacked onto forshow) on “Seinfeld” tune cookie messages) 38 Second half of CLUE #2 52 Indian, e.g. 69 Swimmer’s designation 42 ___ Ababa, Ethiopia Across 53 Talking Head David 43 E!’s “The Daily 10” 1 Crooning Crosby 54 “øComo ___?” Down cohost Masekela 5 Whine for table scraps 56 Skating jump 1 Model airplane material 44 L.A. Dodgers great 8 Thumb-hit-by-a-hammer 57 With it 2 Collegiate wall creepers Hersheiser outburst, maybe 58 Stop-dime link 3 Finnish mobile phone 45 CLUE #3 14 Declare openly 59 Like non-prescription maker 49 Late July babies 15 Scrooge’s outburst meds (abbr.) 4 “No Doubt” lead singer 50 Concert venues 16 Separately 60 ___ Wonderful (juice Stefani 51 Angry crowd 17 CLUE #1 brand touting antioxi5 Potato chip flavor 20 River that runs near the 54 Wind dir. dants) 6 Toulouse tub filler 55 Flirtatious Louvre 61 Cage component 7 Letters near 4 on a 57 CLUE #4 21 Muesli bit 62 “___ Day” (hit rap single keypad 64 Entirely 22 Quick ___ wink of 1993) 8 Aquafina competitor 65 “This American Life” 23 Sir Michael who plays 63 Totally awesome 9 Datebook item (abbr.) host Glass Dumbledore 10 It broke apart over the 66 “___ Almighty” (Steve 27 Commercial prefix for South Pacific in 2001 Carell sequel) “Rooter” 67 Game where the charac- 11 ___ culpa 31 First half of CLUE #2 Solutions on pg. 17

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I wanted to take some time to respond to a couple of points you made in your columns during April. As you said in your first installment, “there are still some myths about survivors that impact how survivors may view themselves as well as how others may view them.” It is in the spirit of continuing to address these myths that I write you today. [Your column said,] “Doin’ It Well would like to dedicate this column to the powerful, resilient and amazing survivors and the people who love them!” First things first, survivors do not need to be coddled. The misfortune of being a victim of sexual violence does not make someone powerful, resilient and/or amazing. The fact of sexual abuse tin my past does not make me amazing. These empty kudos to survivors come off as condescending and fail to address the complexity of the trauma experience. I appreciate what you both do and look forward to more Doin’ It Well in the future. Best, AK Dear AK, First, thank you for taking the time to write us. We wish that more readers would take the time to provide their perspective on our column. Remember, the e-mail address is buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com! Second, we really appreciated your feedback on language that may feel patronizing for survivors of sexual violence. Our intent was not to “coddle” survivors, but we understand how it may feel that way. Although we have both had a lot of experience working in the sexual violence prevention field, this doesn’t mean that we have everything figured out. Moreover, your feedback is helpful, as it allows us to see how our support of survivors may feel insincere. When we said that survivors are “amazing,” we were thinking about survivors we know, rather than one generic survivor. ISN’T THAT SPECIAL? The point that AK raises is an excellent one; survivors do receive some “special” treatment by people and institutions around them. Perhaps this is fair; survivors of sexual violence have experienced something which may feel traumatic, and certainly impacts them in some way. However, the treatment survivors experience frequently tends to be “feast or famine,” a faulty empowerment or a disbelieving blame. If those are our only two options (which they’re not), we aren’t sure which we’d prefer. On the other hand, it isn’t fair to treat survivors differently. Sexual violence is unwanted by the survivor, which means that it should say a whole lot more about the perpetrator of that violence than about the survivor. Being an ally to someone who has experienced sexual violence means recognizing that they may be affected in many ways, while also waiting for the survivor to define those effects for themselves.

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FALLING DOWN We expect survivors to crumble, to collapse. As Vanessa Veselka says in Bitch magazine, “A violated woman is expected to fall apart, and not just privately, either; she must disintegrate publ icly, in f ront of f r iend s, in f ront of professionals, in front of Starbucks. It satiates our craving for arena-style pathos.” Society — including the past 10 years of television — has provided us with numerous examples of what a “good victim” should look like. She should be pure, and she should be profoundly affected. This creates a story about what rape or other forms of sexual violence should look like and, as AK suggests, fails to address the complexity of survivors’ experiences. Moreover, it negates “other” stories that fall outside of this norm such as survivors who maintain a relationship with the perpetrator, survivors who refuse to label themselves as “survivors” or survivors who work in the sex industry. Each of these survivors’ stories makes sense on its own terms, but our belief in a helpless, weak survivor limits the ways that we can celebrate the strength of all survivors. SURVIVING In some ways, this mirrors the shift in language we’ve seen in the rape crisis movement. The term “victim” has been replaced with “survivor,” to move from a passive experience of the violence to a more active resistance to the violence. But when the language of “survivor” becomes simple PC jargon that we use because we “should” rather than because we genuinely believe it, it can become a hollow kudos to survivors. Several survivors we have worked with have at various points in time labeled themselves as “victims,” “survivors” or even refused to label the experience as sexual violence. We have to be careful not to take control away from the survivor further by labeling the experience for them. ALLIES IN HEALING Being an ally means working alongside, not working on behalf of, survivors. This can be awkward at times, but it is also critical that we listen to survivors in our lives, survivors who may be amazing — not simply because they are survivors, but because they are.

SEX 411 The title and many of the points herein are inspired by “The Collapsible Woman” by Vanessa Veselka, which can be found in Bitchfest:Ten Years of Cultural Criticism from the Pages of Bitch Magazine.

Kim Rice and Ross Wantland are professionals in the field of sexuality and violence prevention. Write to them at buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com

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TELL ME, HILDA, DOES ALL THIS FRIGHTEN YOU?

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free will astrology MAY 24 — MAY 30 ARIES

March 21 – April 19

Chameleons use their stupendously strong tongues to reach out and capture their prey, which can be up to one-sixth their size. The equivalent for you would be if you could snag a big chicken with the muscular organ in your mouth. I’m not predicting you’ll develop that skill in the coming days. But I do believe you’ll have a powerful tongue in the sense that the words you shape with it will have a prodigious capacity to change your surroundings and influence everyone around you.

T A U RU S

April 20 – May 20

“Inspiration is highly overrated,” says photo realist artist Chuck Close. “If you sit around and wait for the clouds to part, it’s not liable to ever happen.” I share his assessment of the creative process. The books and music and columns I’ve produced owe their existence largely to my hard work, which generates a burst of inspiration every now and then but mostly gets things done without much flash. Keep that in mind, Taurus. Though you may not be inundated with a series of epiphanies in the coming days, you have the potential to spawn a lot of useful and original stuff. Your fertility quotient is high.

GEMINI

May 21 – June 20

To best take advantage of the fresh and innocent cosmic forces that are offering themselves up to you, try experiments like the following: eat food you’ve never tried; listen to new music; climb a hill that has always been in the distance; have a down-to-earth conversation with a person who up till now hasn’t been quite real to you; try erotic experiences you’ve wondered about; scrawl graffiti on a wall that has never been written upon; and push yourself to feel positive emotions that you may sometimes be too lazy or cynical to seek out, like playful reverence, intense curiosity, voracious gratitude, and surprised delight.

CANCER

June 21 – July 22

SCORPIO

Oct. 23 – Nov. 21

S AG I T TA R I U S

Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

AQUA R I U S

Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

Militant atheists make the claim that religion has always been a primary cause of war. If humans weren’t under the sway of “the God delusion,” they fume, armed conflicts would be infrequent. But military historian Eric Bergerud says that’s absurd. He notes that while there have been a few religious wars, “most wars in history have been driven by the lust for power and loot.” In other words, the materialist delusion is far more lethal than the God delusion. People who believe there’s nothing of value beyond what the five senses can perceive are often the most dangerous of all. Make this the seed for your meditations, Scorpio. Think about how much less fear and loathing you’d suffer if you knew for a fact that your soul lives forever. Imagine the peace and wonder you’d feel if you knew there are realities and spiritual beings that aren’t visible to the naked eye or to the technology that science has thus far dreamed up.

Read this passage from the Talmud: “When the fetus comes forth into the air of the world, what is closed opens and what is open closes.” I believe that’s an apt metaphor for what’s going on in your life, Sagittarius. You’re leaving behind a situation that has nurtured you even as it has bound you. Ahead of you lies a scary freedom that will flood into you with a pleasurable shock. Welcome to the brilliant shouting mystery of it all!

“To have more, desire less.” I urge you to make that your motto in the coming days, Capricorn. You’re in a phase that’s ideal for expanding your horizons by cutting back on your attachments. Your wealth will grow if you renounce any greed you may be harboring. Your power will intensify if you give up your longing for control over things you can’t control. So be brave. Be nervy. Have fun. As you shed insubstantial wishes and barely-relevant obsessions, you may come to resemble a monarch.

Near the end of World War II, a soldier named Shoichi Yokoi was serving in the Japanese army on the island of Guam. As American troops invaded, he fled into the dense jungle and hid in an underground cave. There he stayed for the next 28 years. When he finally returned to civilization, his first words were, “It is with much embarrassment that I have returned alive.” In comparing you to Yokoi, Cancerian, I am of course exaggerating. You have not been concealing yourself so literally or so thoroughly. And yet I feel a similar poignancy about the way you have kept yourself from revealing your full beauty. Please come in from out of the dark and shine the full blast of your iridescent light.

A flower is in one sense a brilliant advertisement. With its alluring aroma, appealing color, and voluptuous shape, it captures the attention of insects and birds, inviting them in for a visit. It’s not false advertising: The pollinators get to imbibe sweet food at the heart of the flower. But the flower also has a hidden agenda. Its male reproductive material, the pollen, gets stuck to the pollinators’ bodies, and they carry it away to the female organs of new flowers, thereby facilitating the plant version of impregnation. Now imagine that you are a flower, and re-read everything I just said, interpreting it as a metaphor for the approach you might want to pursue in the coming days.

LEO

PISCES

July 23 – Aug. 22

“I will tell you a great secret,” wrote French philosopher Albert Camus. “Do not wait for the last judgment. It takes place every day.” Author and activist John W. Gardner spoke of the same issue from a different angle. “To sensible people,” he said, “every day is a day of reckoning.” I offer up those words for your guidance in the coming days, Leo. May they inspire you to be fierce and willful, exuberantly unstoppable and wildly resourceful. May they remind you that even though there might be a world of pressure on you, that pressure is natural, merciful, and exactly what you need.

VIRGO

Aug. 23 – Sept. 22

LIBRA

Sept. 23 – Oct.22

The coming weeks will be an excellent time for you to become dramatically clearer about the nature of your ambitions. To jumpstart the process, read this insight from career counselor Robin Hirschberg: “People tend to confuse their purpose (‘What do I love to do?’), with their ideals (‘How am I comfortable behaving?’), and their desired results (‘What can I achieve?’).” Now get to work figuring out the truth about those three foundation stones, Virgo. Once you do that, develop a plan for getting them to work together synergistically.

Feb. 19 – March 20

“Dear Rob: I would love to live on the ocean, I mean literally in a floating village, so that I could always sense the pulse of the Mother of Us All. I want the wild revelation of the horizon to be uncluttered before me. I want to smell the tang of salt in the air, to hear the cries of seagulls. No more towers, no more labyrinths of concrete--just breathtaking, incomprehensible expanses of waves. - Piscean Immersion-Junkie.” Dear Immersion-Junkie: Good news! You Pisceans will soon be invited to get tastes of this restless primordial spectacle. It’ll come to you in many ways, including (but not limited to) your dreams, meditations, hot baths, saunas, massages, love-making, music-playing, journal-writing, and sailing. Homework: Comment on Karen Pino’s quote: “The use of intellectual rigor for the purpose of increasing fear, sorrow, or doubt is the greatest cowardice of all.” Go to FreeWillAstrology.com.

“Who has done more good for the planet, Mother Teresa or Bill Gates?” asked businessman John Mackey. “No contest: Gates has helped far more people.” Whether you agree with that assessment or not, Libra, act as if it’s true in the coming weeks. As you express your generous urges, don’t so much model yourself after Mother Teresa, who felt pious feelings and gave mostly symbolic assistance to a few thousand poor, sick people. Model yourself more after Gates, who spends billions of dollars to provide technological resources to schools in the U.S., and to bolster health care and reduce poverty in the Third World. In other words, don’t just be emotionally and spiritually supportive. Be aggressively helpful in the most practical ways.

Puzzle on pg. 16

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TRY GOING TO EVENTS MARKED BY THE LOGO. COME ON, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

U = URBANA, C = CHAMPAIGN

THU. MAY 24 Live Bands Jake Herzog Live jazz. $5 cover. Iron Post, U. 7pm Community/Campus Women’s Music Series, Concert I [Concert series to promote local women in the arts, and a fundraiser for the Center for Women in Transition.] Independent Media Center 8pm Caleb No cover. Rose Bowl Tavern, U. 9pm Jani Lane [Original singer/songwriter of Warrant. W/ Chris Pierson.] Radmaker’s Billiard and Sports Bar, Tolono. 9pm Chris Pierson with Eclectic Theory [Chris Pierson is from Atlanta and was a finalist on “Rock Star Supernova.”] Radmaker’s Billiard and Sports Bar, Tolono. 9pm Adam Wolfe Free acoustic show. Potbelly Sandwich Works, C. 12pm DJ DJ / Gentlemen’s Club [Nothin’ but rock.] Silver Bullet Bar 8pm DJ Hellcat [Rock, power-pop, punk, mod, beat, garage, rockabilly, ska, reggae, new wave, old school hip-hop, soul, funk and all things retro.] Mike ’n Molly’s, C. 10pm Karaoke Karaoke Thursday No cover. Memphis on Main, C. 8pm Karaoke [Karaoke with Randy from RM Entertainment every Thursday at Fat City Saloon all night long.] Fat City Saloon, C. 9pm Liquid Courage Karaoke [Come and enjoy karaoke every Thursday.] The Office, U. 10pm Workshops Carle Expectant Parent Classes [Helping Hands (Big Brothers and Sisters). Registration is required. Call 383-6962 for more information.] Carle Clinic, U. 4pm Dog Training-Basic Home Companion Skills [Positively reinforce your dog’s behavior with basic skills you will learn. Bring your dog to each class along with a 4-6 ft. leash, collar or harness, training pouch and soft treats. Please park in Lot B5. The class fee is $60 and the registration deadline is April 12. For more information call 351-2546.] Parkland College, C. 6:30pm Recreation Robert Allerton Park [Open until dusk, visit the “Allerton Legacy” exhibit at the Visitors Center. Also, garden tours can be arranged if you call 333-2127.] Allerton Park, Montincello. 9am Cardio-Kickboxing [Fun, high-energy class, modifying to low or high impact levels. Emphasizes developing muscle coordination, stamina and agility. Wide range of punching and kicking

techniques with strengthening cardio-vascular, abs, arms and legs. Call 344-1544 to sign-up.] Phillips Recreation Center, U. 5:30pm Pilates [Strengthen core abdominal and back. Provides modified multilevel options for individual needs. Invigorating and improves posture, confidence, flexibility and strength. Non-members $5 entry ($4 with punchcard). Accesses entire gym, classes and equipment. Call 3593476 for more information or to sign-up.] Gold’s Gym, C. 6:45pm Belly Dance [Learn all the basic moves and have fun while getting fit. Call 3593476 to sign up or for more information.] Gold’s Gym, C. 7:30pm Comedy Stand-Up Comedy [Featuring Jarred Harris, Elise Crocker and Mike Coulter.] $5 cover. Cowboy Monkey, C. 9pm Theater “Parasite Drag” [The Celebration Company is proud to announce its next production at the Station Theatre. This new play by playwright Mark Roberts is directed by Kay Bohannon Holley, and features Garyambler, Joi Hoffsommer, Mark Roberts and Anne Shapland Kearns. Come enjoy a thought-provoking drama about a small-town family and the ghosts that haunt it. Tickets are $15, call 384-4000.] Station Theatre, U. 8pm Art Exhibits An Architect Collects [Robert D. Kleinschmidt and A Lifetime of Fine Arts Acquisitions. Find day-to-day museum hours at www.kam.uiuc.edu.] Krannert Art Museum, U. 9am Parkland Digital Media Student Exhibition [Student work from the graphic design and 3-D animation programs.] Parkland Art Gallery, C. 9am Exhibition Opening Reception [New Acquisitions. All are welcome.] Krannert Art Museum, U. 5pm Fundraisers “When in Doubt, Don’t Throw It Out” The annual dump & run garage sale is a fundraising program that the University Y runs. They collect reusable items and sell the collected items in order to reduce litter and consumer waste.] University YMCA, C. 9am Family Fun Group Funfare [Come to The Urbana Free Library for Funfare on Thursday, May 24. Preschool groups are invited to come from 9:45 to 10:15am (Groups are asked to register with the Children’s Department in advance at 367-4069). The program will feature stories, songs, puppets, and films.] Urbana Free Library, 9:45am Museums “Why Knot?” [For 20,000 years, humans have manipulated fibers to construct objects that aid in food gathering,

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commemorating the dead, and protecting and beautifying the body and home. This exhibit celebrates these artifacts and the skilled craftspeople who create them.] Spurlock Museum, U. 9am “A Whole Nother Game: Baseball in Central Illinois from the 1860s to the 1970s” [Visit this years special exhibit featuring the history of area baseball from its beginnings during the Civil War through the Eastern Illinois League teams of the 1970s. No admission fee. Museum hours: 1-5pm March through December; extended hours of 10am to 5pm Mondays through Saturdays in June, July and August.] Earlyamerican Museum, 600 N. Lombard, Mahomet. 1pm

FRI. MAY 25 Live Bands Billy Galt Sings the Blues [Straight from the Blues Deacons, Billy plays at Blues Restaurant every Tuesday & Friday, from 11:30am to 2:30pm Join us for the best BBQ in town with great music on the side.] Blues Restaurant, U. 11:30am Jeff Helgesen Quartet No cover. Iron Post, U. 5pm The New Orleans Jazz Machine No cover. Cowboy Monkey, C. 5:30pm American Nobody $5 cover., Iron Post, U. 7pm Benefit Concert for Paul Martin Memorial Fund [Featuring Cameron McGill, Erin Fein & Tristian Wraight (of Headlights), elsinore, Darling Disarm (Kayla Brown & Mike Ingram) and Leslie Stevens. $7, to benefit Paul Martin Memorial Fund.] Highdive, C. 8pm The Impalas Cover at door. Memphis on Main, C. 8pm Country Connection $1, Rose Bowl Tavern, U. 9pm Sharp Dressed Man [A ZZ Top tribute.] Radmaker’s Billiard and Sports Bar, Tolono. 9pm Staci Anderson, Chris Carneau, Lynn O’Brien $5 cover. Iron Post, U. 10pm DJ DJ / Gentlemen’s Club Silver Bullet Bar 8pm DJ Bozak [Hip-hop, pop, funk, house, R&B, disco, old school.] No cover. Soma Ultralounge, C. 9pm DJ Tim Williams [Remix of Top-40, house, techno, dance-pop, disco, ’80s and hip-hop. No cover.] Cowboy Monkey, C. 10pm DJ Mambo Italiano. [House music.] No cover. Ko Fusion, C. 11pm Dancing Contra Dance [Singles, couples, groups, and families are invited to come dance to live music every first and third Friday of the month. All dances are taught (walked-through) prior to dancing. Wear comfortable clothing and bring a pair of clean, soft-soled shoes to protect the wood floor,

www.prairienet.org/contra/] Phillips Recreation Center, U. 8pm Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke [Come and enjoy karaoke every 2nd and 4th Friday.] American Legion Post 71, C. 8pm Recreation Robert Allerton Park Allerton Park, Monticello. 9am Fit For Life [Gentle yet fun class for cardiorehab patients, weight-challenged, prenatal, new to fitness & older adults. Strengthens entire cardiovascular, abs, back, legs and arms without strain on joints and includes stretching. Lighthearted atmosphere. Call 367-1544 to sign-up.] Phillips Recreation Center, U. 9am Theater “Parasite Drag” Station Theatre, U. 8pm Art Exhibits An Architect Collects Krannert Art Museum, U. 9am New Acquisitions [Day-to-day museum hours at www.kam.uiuc.edu.] Krannert Art Museum, U. 9am Parkland Digital Media Student Exhibition Parkland Art Gallery, C. 9am R.J. Karlstrom Fundraisers “When in Doubt, Don’t Throw It Out” University YMCA, C. 9am Museums “Why Knot?” Spurlock Museum, U. 9am “A Whole Nother Game: Baseball in Central Illinois from the 1860s to the 1970s” Earlyamerican Museum, Mahomet. 1pm Social Issues OUTZone Youth Center [A social and wellness drop-in group for gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgendered and questioning teens (13-19) and their supportive teen friends and allies to meet and socialize with others like themselves in a safe enviornment.] Independent Media Center, U. 7pm

SAT. MAY 26 Live Bands The Masters Table “Cowboy Church” [Come as you are. Live The Masters Table Cowboy Band Gospel Music Church. Cowboy Church is coming together to worship in Spirit and Truth and to Fellowship around God’s word of abundant Life in Love and songs.] 2200 A E.University Urbana Illinois (Next door to Casey’s) 6pm Dan, Bob & Joni Hubers, C. 8pm Duo-Fest 2007 [Featuring reds, Clatter, Triple Whip, Water Whip, Water Between Continents, the rise and Fall of Tomax and Zomat.] $2 cover. Mike ’n Molly’s, C. 8pm Juke Box Night Cover at door. Memphis on Main, C. 8pm Country Connection $1. Rose Bowl Tavern, U. 9pm C-4 [Classic rock band.] No cover. Club 45, U. 9pm Brother Embassy, mad mardigan, Tourvere [Brother Embassy record release show and party.] $5. Cowboy Monkey, C. 10pm

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Duo-Fest 2007 When the Earth became Overpopulated Clatter with Triple Whip, Water Between Continents, The Rise and Fall of Tomax and Xomat and reds Saturday, May 26, Mike ’n Molly’s, 8 p.m., $2 So I have seen these flyers around with a man dressed in green, cheered by raised fists and a creepy Martian in the background. It is all very phallic and subliminally sends out a powerful impression ... which can only mean that this show is gonna rock. The headlining, “DUO-FEST 2007!” even is an exclamation, and this is what I think this high and mighty exclamation point means: Clatter, a two-piece wonder from central Missouri, will have a little for every rock lover. They play songs from a rocker’s mayhem to a natural melodic feel. And, as I have said, they are “rock,” but get this: they don’t play guitars. No guitars. Pure insanity, but good insanity, the kind that rocks your little socks, pants, shoes and, uh, whatever else you got on until you’ve reached that “complete & unabridged” state the flyer advertised. Unabridged. Now that is a damn good word for a concert. So trek on over to Mike ’n Molly’s for an uninhibited kind of rock where you can lose your mind in pure, mind-bending rhythms and vibes. Oh, and did I mention the show is outside in the beer garden? No? Well, it is. —Caitlin Cremer

Adam Wolfe Potbelly Sandwich Works, C. 12pm DJ DJ Tim Williams [Remix of top-40, house, techno,, dance-pop, disco, ’80s and hiphop.] $5 cover., Highdive, C. 10am DJ / Gentlemen’s Club Silver Bullet Bar, U. 8pm DJ Bozak No cover. Soma Ultralounge, C. 9pm Dancing West African dance classes [Six classes of West African dance taught by Djibril Camara, an international African ballet dancer and instructor from Guinea West Africa. The classes are each Saturday and the last two Tuesdays throughout the month of May at the UC-IMC and the Lincoln Square mall. Individual class cost is $15 or call for entire series of six classes for a promotional price.] UC-IMC 6pm Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s, U. 9pm Recreation Soul Strut and Body and Soul Challenge [Participants will be encouraged to take the Body & Soul Challenge Pledge, a personal commitment to holistic health. Local State Farm agents will provide pedometers highlighting the National 50 Million Pound Weight Loss campaign, headed by the renowned Dr. Ian Smith. T-shirts and program DVDs will be provided for all who take the Body & Soul Challenge and who register for the Soul Strut.] Douglass Library and Park, C. 8:30am Robert Allerton Park Allerton Park 9am

Theater “Parasite Drag” Tickets are $15, call 384-4000. Station Theatre, U. 8pm Miscellaneous Environmental Education Center Open [Explore interactive display, see live animals and enjoy natural history exhibits at the Environmental Education Center. Join a nature hike at 1pm No admission fee.] Environmental Education Center, Homer Lake Forest Preserve, Homer 10am The Masters Table “Cowboy Church” [Special guests weekly. Potluckbring a covered dish, drinks or desserts.] The Masters Table “Cowboy Church,” U. 5pm Memorial Day Party [DJ, no cover.] Radmaker’s Billiard and Sports Bar, Tolono. 7pm Meetings Illini Folk Dance Society [Beginners welcome. Call 3986686, for more information.] Illini Union, C. 8pm Art Exhibits An Architect Collects Krannert Art Museum, U. 9am New Acquisitions Krannert Art Museum, U. 9am Parkland Digital Media Student Exhibition Parkland Art Gallery, U. 9am Museums “A Whole Nother Game: Baseball in Central Illinois from the 1860s to the 1970s” Earlyamerican Museum, Mahomet 1pm Volunteer ReStore Volunteer Orientation [Habitat for Humanity seeks volunteers for our ReStore. Volunteers assist in all store duties, including

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customer service, pricing and displaying, pick-ups and deliveries, and cashiering. All proceeds go to building more homes in Champaign County. To get involved, please attend our 45 minute orientation. All ReStore orientations begin on the main floor of the store. For more information, a current ReStore orientation schedule, or to RSVP for an orientation, please contact Courtney at 355-6460 x116 or email volunteer@cuhabitat.org.] Habitat for Humanity, C. 9am

SUN. MAY 27 Live Bands The Masters Table “Cowboy Church� [Christian Church.] 2200 A E. University Urbana Illinois, 6pm Crystal River No cover. Rose Bowl Tavern, U. 9pm DJ DJ / Gentlemen’s Club Silver Bullet Bar, U. 8pm Lectures/discussions Introductory Arabic Course [Learn the Arabic alphabet, construct Arabic noun and verb sentences and be able to comprehend and engage in short conversations about familiar topics. The course fee is $150, which includes the textbook.] Central Illinois Mosque and Islamic Center, U. 5pm Recreation Sunday Morning Bird Walks in Busey Woods [Join the Champaign County Audubon Society members on a trip. For further information, call 344-6803.] Anita Purves Nature Center, U. 7:30am Robert Allerton Park Allerton Park, Monticello. 9am Miscellaneous Spring Brunches at Allerton [Brunches will be served at 11am and 2pm inside the mansion. Cost is $15.95 per adult and $5.95 for children 10 and under. Price includes a mansion wristband. Call now to make your reservation at 333-3287.] Allerton Park, Monicello. 11am Art Exhibits An Architect Collects Krannert Art Museum, U. 9am New Acquisitions Krannert Art Museum, U. 9am Parkland Digital Media Student Exhibition Parkland Art Gallery, C. 9am Museums “A Whole Nother Game: Baseball in Central Illinois from the 1860s to the 1970s� Earlyamerican Museum, Mahomet. 1pm “Why Knot?� Spurlock Museum, U. 12pm

MON. MAY 28 DJ DJ / Gentlemen’s Club Silver Bullet Bar, U. 8pm Recreation Robert Allerton Park Allerton Park, Monticello. 9am Fit For Life Phillips Recreation Center, U. 09am Miscellaneous Allerton Retreat Center Memorial Day Open House [Tours of the house will begin every 20 minutes and last approximately 1

sounds from the scene

hour. The fee is $5 per adult and $3 per child under 16.] Allerton Park, Monticello. 10am Meetings Italian Table [Italian conversation on Mondays. All are welcome.] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, U. 12pm Art Exhibits An Architect Collects Krannert Art Museum, U. 9am New Acquisitions Krannert Art Museum, U. 9am Parkland Digital Media Student Exhibition Parkland Art Gallery, C. 9am Mind /Body / Spirit New Class Taught by Doctorate of Metaphysics [A new class in metaphysics is now forming and will be taught by Dr. Pam Blosser. Dr. Pam has received all the degrees offered by the School of Metaphysics and has 30 years of experience. Discover your hidden potential. For more information or to pre-register call 344-2270.] 1009 E. Main, U. 7:30pm Museums “A Whole Nother Game: Baseball in Central Illinois from the 1860s to the 1970s� Earlyamerican Museum, Mahomet. 1pm

TUE. MAY 29 Live Bands Billy Galt Sings the Blues Blues Restaurant, U. 11:30am Crystal River no cover. Rose Bowl Tavern, U. 9pm DJ DJ / Gentlemen’s Club Silver Bullet Bar, U. 8pm Dancing West African dance classes [Individual class cost is $15 or call for entire series of six classes for a promotional price.] UC-IMC 6pm Subversion [Weekly industrial, EBM, electro dance night at the Highdive in downtown Champaign. Now featuring DJ Vermis and DJ Evily. $2 cover, $1 drafts. 19+ to enter.] Highdive, C. 10pm Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s, U. 9pm Karaoke [Karaoke with Randy Miller. Free.] Bentley’s Pub, C. 9:30pm Film Reel Deals: “Ghost Rider� Box Office hits for pennies. 2007. [In order to save his dying father, young stunt cyclist Johnny Blaze sells his soul to Mephistopheles and sadly parts from the pure-hearted Roxanne Simpson, the love of his life.] Virginia Theatre, C. 7pm Recreation Robert Allerton Park Allerton Park, Monticello. 9am Cardio-Kickboxing Phillips Recreation Center, U. 5:30pm Meetings Bariatric support group [A group geared toward patients who underwent weight management surgery more than a year ago. Call 383-3240 for more information.] Carle Foundation Hospital, U. 6:30pm Illini Folk Dance Society Illini Union, C. 8pm

Art Exhibits An Architect Collects Krannert Art Museum, U. 9am New Acquisitions Krannert Art Museum, U. 9am Parkland Digital Media Student Exhibition Parkland Art Gallery, C. 9am Family Fun Babies’ Lap Time [Babies and their parents or caregivers are invited to The Urbana Free Library for Babies’ Lap Time on Tuesdays from 9:45-10:15am. This program of songs, stories, and rhymes is for our youngest patrons, ages birth to 24 months, with an adult. No registration is required. For more information, call 367-4069.] Urbana Free Library. 9:45am

ACTION $20

20 Words, 5 Days

ADS!

10 Words, 5 Days

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Museums “A Whole Nother Game: Baseball in Central Illinois from the 1860s to the 1970s� Earlyamerican Museum, Mahomet. 1pm “Why Knot?� Spurlock Museum, U. 12pm

WED. MAY 30

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Live Bands Irish Traditional Music Session Bentley’s Pub, C. 7pm Feudin’ Hillbillys No cover. Rose Bowl Tavern, U. 9pm DJ DJ / Gentlemen’s Club Silver Bullet Bar, U. 8pm Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke [Come and enjoy karaoke every Wednesday night.] Geovanti’s, C. 10pm

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*Cash-in-advance only. No refunds, but you may cancel your ad.

Lectures/discussions Introductory Arabic Course [The course fee is $150, which includes the textbook.] Central Illinois Mosque and Islamic Center, U. 6:30pm Recreation Robert Allerton Park Allerton Park, Monticello. 9am Fit For Life Phillips Recreation Center, U. 9am Belly Dance for Beginners [Learn how to Belly Dance in a comfortable environment and impress everyone you know. Call 367-1544 to sign up.] Phillips Recreation Center, U. 8:15pm Meetings Scandinavian Coffee Hour Bread Company, U. 4pm Art Exhibits An Architect Collects Krannert Art Museum, U. 9am New Acquisitions Krannert Art Museum, U. 9am Parkland Digital Media Student Exhibition Parkland Art Gallery, C. 9am Museums “Why Knot?� Spurlock Museum, U. 9am “A Whole Nother Game: Baseball in Central Illinois from the 1860s to the 1970s� Earlyamerican Museum, Mahomet. 1pm Volunteer ReStore Volunteer Orientation Habitat for Humanity, C. 5:30pm

INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | THE HOOPLA | STAGE, S CREEN &

IN

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GORT! KLAATU BARADA NIKTO!

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M ay 31 , 2 oo7

LIKES & GRIPES let it out

MEGHAN WHALEN Copy Chief LIKES

WHITNEY HARRIS Copy Editor GRIPES 1) Summer classes: I’m supposed to be taking classes over the summer to relieve my next two semesters as a senior, but I haven’t even enrolled for summer session II beginning in June. I just can’t bring myself to do it. My brain needs a rest! 2) Flavor of Love Spin-offs: I’ll admit it, I watched the first two seasons of Flavor of Love on VH1 as a guilty, guilty pleasure. The show was so pathetic it was entertaining. Now I’m beginning to see its spin-off shows, I Love New York and Charm School, as detestable and the worst reality TV shows of all time; they’re void of any human intelligence. It hurts to watch these shows. 3) Brazil: Right now my boyfriend is abroad in São Paulo and Rio de Janeiro, Brazil ... two weeks never felt longer. Enough said.

1) Charlie the Unicorn: People are looking at me funny because I can’t stop quoting this amazing viral video I only recently discovered. “It’s a leopleurodon, Charlie!” “A magical bridge of hope and wonder!” “Argh, they took my freakin’ kidney!” So awesome. 2) Being a grownup: I just got hired for my first real, post-college, big-person job, where I get an office and business cards. Maybe this real world thing isn’t so scary after all. 3) Popsicles: They are the work of genius. Especially the blue freeze pops. With the weather this hot and my reluctance to keep my air conditioning on for more than a few days at a time, they’re my favorite summer food/drink/frozen treat/whatever.

CAITLIN CREMER Music Editor LIKES

NIKITA SOROKIN Art Director LIKES

1) Curves: Not mine (sorry, I flatter myself), but on the grading scale. First Econ quiz: F. With curve: C+. Now that’s what I’m talking about. 2) Joni Mitchell: Psychedelic artist? Check. Unsurpassed singer/songwriter? Check. Poet? Check. Musician? Check. Beautiful? Check. Let’s just say ... I’m in love? Check. P.S. There is a new tribute album to Joni featuring lovelies like Bjork, Sarah McLaughlin and Sufjan Stevens. 3) Being ridiculous: It’s what I do best. Flashback sequence to last night dancing on my balcony to TLC — complete with spatula mics — with my other half at 3 a.m. when I had work at 7 a.m. ... and another Econ quiz right after. heh.

1) Zombies: They w a n t m e f o r my brain, not my body. 2) Brains: Brains attract zombies, whom I like because they like me for my brain. 3) Motion Detectors: These let me know if zombies are trying to breach the perimeter wall, which is made of brains.

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IN

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