Buzz Magazine: May 27, 2004

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ANNOYING MAN SAYS,“I LOVE YOU” | MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004 buzz

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CHICAGO REVIEW I Never Sang For My Father Page 6

Q & A with Kevin Hales

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R.I.P., TONY RANDALL | MAY27 - JUNE 2, 2004 buzz

TOP OF THE NINTH

insidebuzz

editor’snote

4 The option of family

M

MARISSA MONSON EDITOR IN CHIEF

The Story

usic shows in arenas drive me crazy. The majority of the audience sits so far from the stage they have to watch the show on the complimentary big screen or through binoculars. Instead of paying an arm and a leg for the really good seats, they pay an arm for the really crappy seats. The prices are outrageous, and the sound tends to be sub-par.

Granted, I have enjoyed a few arena shows from time to time, Prince, Paul Simon, Brian Wilson, Bob Dylan. But, I did spend most of the time squinting at the stage thinking – I paid to see this live, and I am not going to look at that screen. However, these shows are necessary evils for anyone who wants to go out and see those great artists making one last round of touring.

Ramona has never been a morning person. But today at 5:30 a.m., as her 20-month-old son twists his tiny fingers around her silver-streaked hair and even sticks them up her nose as...

Arts 6 Broadway’s answer to the Oscars Every year since 1947, the American Theatre Wing has bestowed honors on Broadway shows that have earned a level of excellence. They are the...

Music 8 First day back with Braid Almost like a phoenix rising from the ashes, Braid has resurrected from the dust of Champaign-Urbana’s 1999 music scene. Some thought it would...

We are pretty lucky here. Not only are Champaign-Urbana’s favorites, Braid, kicking off a tour here with two shows, but they are playing them in two very different ven-

Calendar 10 The Windy City gets the blues In a couple of weeks, head north to the city for the Chicago Blues Festival June 10-13. Every year, the festival is packed with rhythm...

Film

15 Shrek 2 : a sequel worth seeing Three years ago, the widly successful Shrek threatened to be the nail in the coffin of the already struggling Disney drawing department, which hadn’t...

PHOTO COURTESY OF | MIKE LYTHCOTT AND BRAID

BUZZ STAFF Volume 2, Number 17 COVER PHOTO courtesy of Nathan Keay and Braid

Editor in chief Marissa Monson Art Directors Meaghan Dee & Carol Mudra Copy Chief Chris Ryan Music Jacob Dittmer Art Katie Richardson Film Paul Wagner Community Emily Wahlheim Calendar Maggie Dunphy Photography Editor Christine Litas Calendar Coordinators Cassie Conner, Erin Scottberg Photography Christine Litas, Roderick Gedey Copy Editors Chris Ryan Designers Glenn Cochon, Chris Depa, Jacob Dittmer Production Manager Theon Smith Sales Manager John Maly Marketing/Distribution Melissa Schleicher, Maria Erickson Publisher Mary Cory

Got an opinion?

E-mail us at buzz@readbuzz.com or you can send us a letter at 1001 S. Wright St., Champaign, IL 61820.

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Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

Copyright Illini Media Company 2004

ues, Caffe Paradiso will be the spot for one all ages show, and The Highdive, one of Champaign’s best clubs will be the other show’s location. The sound alone is enough to convince anyone to go see a show there.

Aside from that, there will be other shows in town that won’t cost $60 and a pair of binoculars. Guided by Voices is making a stop in Champaign on their final tour. This is something special, and it is right in our backyard. Chicago band Local H will hit up the Canopy Club this summer as well.

The local music scene and DJ circuit are alive this summer, and there is always a good show to see. So, instead of popping the big bucks on a show that is only cool from the first 20 rows. Go to a local show or a bigger act that stops in the area.

You may be surprised.

-M.M.

odds & end

buzz MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004 | STAPLES DON’T MAKE FOR GOOD HOT DOG TOPPINGS

Two perfect games Hebrew National hot dog becomes 2ON2OUT staple

BY ADAM AND SETH FEIN | 2ON2OUT

T

he 2ON2OUT would like to make a confession. We love Kevin Costner within the confines of baseball films.

Field of Dreams would easily make both of our all time favorite lists. Bull Durham always throws a strike. Even For the Love of the Game was worth the watch. The latter deals with an aging pitcher, down in his game and looking for an answer to satisfy the burning question that most ballplayers eventually face: Was playing this game worth it? In the movie, his question is answered as he is shown over the course of nine innings—Hollywood flashbacks aplenty—doing the virtually impossible: throwing a perfect game.

For those of you who don’t know, a perfect game is completed when all 27 batters are retired without one of them reaching first base safely. It has only happened 17 times now in more than a century of baseball. It is the single greatest accomplishment a pitcher can earn in a single game and, in our opinions, the finest accomplishment in any sport, period.

Neither of us ever hit a home run. The trot eluded us as we are small men who hit for average, not for power. The older of us went a whole season and didn’t make one error in the field. That’s Golden Glove material. The younger of us once threw a no-hitter, which is to say not one batter got to first on a hit, yet some reached on walks while others reached on errors.

It’s these parts of the game that makes it so enjoyable. You watch the season progress and every year landmarks are reached and records are broken. It is the only guarantee. The 2ON2OUT would like to give Randy Johnson, otherwise known as “The Big Unit,” a hearty standing ovation for his incredible performance last week against the Atlanta Braves in the Dirty Dirty, becoming the oldest person to throw a perfect game at the tender age of 40.

Now on the home front, it’s back to the top for Chicago in both leagues.

Last week brought remarkable performances by both squads. A quick cheers to the White Sox who took three of four from the Twinkies to move into a first place tie. The 17-run outburst yesterday was fun to watch. If this team can find a stable fifth starter, they’re in good shape.

Ho-kay, so! On to Cubs vs. Cards, round two. Round one was split 2-2 and round two started in favor of the Redbirds thanks to a shaky performance by rookie Sergio Mitre, who forgot how to pitch in the second inning, uncorking two wild pitches and allowing the Cardinals to take an early lead they would not relinquish. Saturday, however, was different.

It was a special day, to say the least. It was the first time in our memory that we attended a Cubs game and didn’t have to sweat the ending. Yes, the 2ON2OUT was in attendance, sitting in the lower deck under the mezzanine, right between the mound and first base, which was well worth the four hours spent on the Internet in February.

First of all, it was supposed to rain and it didn’t. Second, we sat down right next to a loud-ass Cardinal fan who could dish it, but also take it. This made the game even more enjoyable as we traded shots throughout the game with the portly St. Louis fan.

“Glendon is Cy Young!” he kept yelling.

“C’mon, Pee-Pee Alou!” (Hey, he pisses on his hands, but I don’t care what he does, the guy can rake). Retorts were easy as the Cubbies ripped the aging Woody Williams for four runs in the first inning. We simply cheered louder when Hollandsworth torched a tworun shot onto Sheffield Avenue to make the game 6-1 in the third.

By the fifth inning, the St. Louis fan had taken to making fun of the Cardinal staff, calling the first base coach “Coach Mullet” as we discussed Julian Tavarez and his Pennzoil soaked hat. By the eighth, we confidently turned to each other and speaking with enough Old Style confidence, proclaimed, “I’m not worried about this one.” Now it takes a lot for me to say anything about the score before the last out is recorded, but this one was in the bag. After all, Glendon had treated the feared offense of the Redbirds like he was Cy Young himself (7 2/3, 1 ER, 9K) and I had actually been able to digest that Hebrew National Diamond Dog that I chose to devour before knowing how easy this game would be.

No Tums needed. What a day; an (almost) perfect game.

The series ended with a cherry (or should I say grilled onions?) on top for Cubby fans.

Once again, the home team scored four runs in the first, this time it was an Aramis three-run laser. The Cards made it closer at the end, but Blue-Collar Joe-Bo finished his 22nd straight save opportunity, extending the club record.

Any naysayers about the closer should remind themselves that a save is a save.

Cubs 4, Cards 3: the same score as the overall series and a fitting end to a great weekend.

The 2ON2OUT are Seth and Adam Fein and would like to denounce Donald Rumsfeld and his policies. They also denounce any hot dog that isn’t kosher.

Family continued from Page 5

“Of all my relatives, I’d say she’s absolutely our biggest supporter,” Ramona says. “She doesn’t necessarily always get it, but she’s really trying.”

Allie is the worrier in this family. This morning, a large rectangular mirror fastened above the rearview mirror of Allie and Ramona’s car allows her to see Jacob at every second on their trip to Meadowbrook Park in Urbana after dropping off Ramona. Allie’s eyes flit from road to mirror, mirror to road.

It’s 9:30 a.m. and the air at Meadowbrook Park carries a slight chill. Its mazes of wooden corridors lead to brightly colored slides and wooden bridges lead to more corridors, all empty. Allie plucks Jacob from the car, sets him solidly on her hip and marches toward the jungle gyms.

“Ready?” she asks, and sets him loose.

Like Ramona, Allie didn’t come out as a lesbian to her parents. “You have to come out first to people you’re not close to so you don’t care so much when they reject you.” The first person Allie told was the guy who beset her with crank phone calls in 7th grade. The next year, she told her good male friends. “At that age, you can pretend you didn’t say it or they can pretend they didn’t hear it. ‘No, I’m just kidding. No, I am. No, I’m not.’ “ Her parents found out a little later. When she was 16, her girlfriend’s mother called her mother, demanding someone put a stop to their romance. Allie’s mother badgered and blamed Allie’s father. “Don’t you feel awful that she’d reject all men because of you?” she asked him. She asked Allie not to tell her grandmother. In the end, Allie’s grandmother died before she told her the truth.

But now—no more hiding. Allie invited everyone she knew to the commitment ceremony in 1994. Now both of Allie’s parents are much more supportive of their relationship.

They make a trip from New York every other month to see their grandson.

At Meadowbrook, Jacob tears around with Allie close at hand. He breaks into a huge grin as he climbs the curly stairways to the tall slides. When he reaches the top, he says, “Sit” aloud and then sits, just like Ramona and Allie have taught him, to keep him from toppling headfirst to the bottom.

“Hi, beautiful,” Allie says as he slides.

Despite the ordinary routine of this family, Jacob will likely face problems most other little boys will never face. Ramona, a social scientist, researches similar families to discover the challenges she, Allie and Jacob need to brace themselves for. She looks in vain. Ramona doesn’t find most of the research helpful. “I’m really frustrated by the research emphasis on, ‘Well, the kids of lesbians don’t have any more behavior problems.’ That’s not my concern,” she says.

Ramona and Allie have other concerns. Will Jacob be bullied and harassed?

19

“It worries me a great deal,” Ramona says.

“I never even thought about it until I had my son. Having a child puts everything in a different perspective.”

A low wooden bar in the play area abruptly ends Jacob’s youthful energy. He hits his head in the middle of a hopping frenzy. Allie scoops him up, holds him close to her chest and sits down with him in her lap in one of the gazebos in the middle of the playground.

“Say bye bye,” she tells him as they leave the park, and he does, opening and closing his hand in its direction.

Jacob’s youth makes it difficult for Ramona and Allie to know about future difficulties.

“He just really hasn’t had to deal with much of anything yet,” Ramona says. “At this point, he’s so young that we control his environment completely.”

When considering the future, Allie is brazen, determined: “We will advocate for our kid, and if that means coming out all over the place and insisting that people show him respect and show us respect, then I guess we will have to do that.” Ramona agrees, and adds, “We know the local culture tends to resolve issues quietly, but frankly we prefer to speak out.”

Ramona and Allie see change looming in Champaign County. They know a few lesbian families—and several happen to have kids almost the same age as Jacob. As Jacob and his friends get older, they will descend on the schools. “Schools are going to have to rise to the occasion,” Allie says.

The best Ramona and Allie can do right now is to plan—plan on ways to keep Jacob the smiling, singing and dancing child he is now.

And that is one thing about Jacob—he loves to dance. He dances at home to everything, but all who happen to be at Lincoln Square on Saturdays for the Farmer’s Market get to see his steps first-hand. The market is loud and buoyant, brimming with activity and laughter.

Neighbors chat, kids tug on moms’ arms to get those cookies or that cinnamon roll. Allie and Ramona take turns pushing Jacob in his stroller. They stop and chat with Kathy, the midwife who delivered Jacob, as they pass one tent. They wave at Jacob’s swim instructor as they pass another.

One more familiar stop—the music man, an old guy with a long gray beard, a craggy face and a big grin that sends breaks across his chapped lips resides in his usual spot right in the middle of the Farmer’s Market.

Tambourines are strapped to his feet, bells to his arms. He plays a horn with one hand and rhythmically taps and bleats out “songs” that put a skip to your step, and to Jacob’s. Ramona collects him out of his stroller. He knows what to do. His little legs look like rubber bands, stretching and releasing. He hunches over, a grin on his round face. Allie starts doing the twist and Ramona hops along, imitating Jacob’s little-boy dance.

Strangers stop on all sides and smile at the spectacle. Vendors stop vending, people stop buying, and other kids join in, taking visual tips from Jacob. If a lesbian couple bothers anyone in the crowd, they do not let on. buzz

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MY BRAIN STOPPED WOKRING | MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004 buzz

FIRST THING’S FIRST...

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY (MAY 26 - JUNE 2)

Top

5 Requests

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I almost always urge you to see the glass as half-full, not half-empty. But this week I'm more cautious.

Why? Because you may soon be pressured to buy into overly optimistic fantasies. Even people you trust may encourage you to place inflated faith in shaky promises. So ask lots of probing questions, please. Beware of groupthink. On the other hand, however, there's no need to adopt a sour, suspicious perspective.

Being cynical will not automatically make you insightful. See if you can manage to be a cheerful skeptic, as generous and openminded as you are alert for the hype.

1. Franz FerdinandTake Me Out 2. The KillersSomebody Told Me 3. Modest MouseFloat On 4. The Postal ServiceSuch Great Heights 5. Dashboard ConfessionalVindicated

ONLINE

8@8

Make your vote for the

TOP 8 most requested songs!

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): A surfer from California recently collected his 15 minutes of fame when he rode his board for the 10,407th consecutive day. During those 28 years, Dale Webster never took a vacation. To keep his mornings free, he worked exclusively at low-paying night jobs. He surfed on the day his daughter was born and the day he passed kidney stones. His eyes now have scar tissue because he has gazed into the sun for so long, and he's literally afraid to stop surfing for even 24 hours.

I nominate him to be both your role model and anti-role model, Taurus. It's a perfect time to commit yourself with fierce passion to a long-term dream, but only if you promise not to let your devotion degenerate into manic obsession.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I lead a group called the Prayer Warriors. We petition God on behalf of people who need help in summoning divine intervention. Here's the prayer we'll be saying for your tribe in the coming months. Dear God: We beseech You to give a big, beautiful home to all Geminis who want one. If they aren't allowed to have that for karmic reasons, please grant them a comfortable apartment with no obnoxious roommates. If You can't manage that, bless them with a trailer that's free of mildew.

If that's impossible, bestow on them a tent that doesn't leak and a cheap place to pitch it. If that's too much to ask, let them have their own tree house in a forest that's not too dark and scary. And if all that's out of the question, please at least help them feel at home in the world wherever they are.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Antibiotics have been miracle drugs for over 60 years, but their potency is fading as bacteria evolve to become resistant to them. This has led some British doctors to revive a medieval approach to healing -- placing maggots in open wounds. Seriously. The creepy creatures are fast and effective in cleansing infections. I'd like this to serve as your operative metaphor in the coming weeks, Cancerian. As you strive to mend old psychic lesions, call on the wisdom of the past -- even if it involves a cure that makes you a bit uneasy.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The puzzle is not as difficult as you imagine. In fact, it has only seven pieces -- far fewer than you've assumed. Perhaps you got thrown off by its simplicity; it does have a superficial resemblance to a more complicated puzzle from your past. The ironic thing is that you'll never figure it out it

as long as you're so serious and stressed about it. To create the conditions that will lead to a solution, relax, have as much fun as possible, and assume that the puzzle will soon solve itself.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Most American children don't want to grow up to be president any more. The practice of politics is boring and sickening, they tell pollsters. There's too much pressure and too much arguing involved. Despite this trend, I predict that in the coming weeks, a disproportionately large percentage of Virgo youngsters will fantasize about someday becoming President of the United States. I further predict that one of these kids will ultimately be elected Commander in Chief in 2044. As for you Virgo adults, I believe that no matter what country you live in, events in the coming days will awaken your dormant reserves of ambition and authority.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The time a rodeo cowboy has to stay on a bucking bronco to qualify: 8 seconds. The time a lion-tamer holds his head in a lion's mouth: 7 seconds. The time it takes for a skydiver's parachute to open: 6 seconds. The time it takes for thunder to travel a mile: 5 seconds. The time it will take, sometime in the coming week, for a divine intervention to reveal a galvanizing vision of your possible future: 10 seconds. The time it may take for you to fully understand the meaning of the vision: 4 months.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The Israeli poet Yehuda Amichai wrote that "The soul is a search; the soul is a dance of searches for whatever is lost." Let that be your guiding thought in the coming weeks, Scorpio. The astrological omens suggest that it's high time for you to go looking for a missing treasure. The best way to ensure that you find it is to feed and praise and give free reign to the part of you that you call your soul.

you've always feared was a permanent curse.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Welcome to the Happiness Season, Aquarius. The entire universe is now conspiring to provoke in you an abiding sense of joy and well-being.You can resist, of course; it's your God-given right to use your free will to repel this influx of contentment. But in case you decide to cooperate with the cosmic trend, here are a few helpful thoughts to propel you. "Happiness is a state of going somewhere wholeheartedly, without regret or reservation." - William H. Sheldon. "I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than be a success at something I hate." - George Burns. "Happiness is not attained through selfgratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose." - Helen Keller. "Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy." - Anonymous. "To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness." Bertrand Russell.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I predict that some of you overly sensitive Pisceans will soon be beaten down by the cold, cruel world. Maybe you'll move in with your parents or flee to the middle of nowhere and live off the grid in a log cabin. Similarly, more than a few of you Piscean artists, actors, writers, and musicians will get weary of the uphill battle to make a living from doing what you love. You'll think about selling out, seeking dull but secure gigs in the corporate world. But I'm begging all of you not to give up. Please continue your heroic struggles to be true to yourselves. If you can manage to hold on a while longer, you will be blessed with a breakthrough no later than September 1.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): What kind of archer do you want to be when you grow up, Sagittarius? Would you like to be: 1. the kind of archer who aims in the general direction of several big targets in the distance; 2. the kind who aims at a single medium-sized target in the middle distance; 3. the kind who aims at many small targets that aren't too far away; 4. the kind who never aims at any target at all, but just enjoys the thrill of shooting lots of arrows everywhere? This is a perfect time for you to settle on one of these four options.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): My friend Katherine comes from an old southern family that has recorded its history for generations. She says her great-great-great-grandmother, Elizabeth, was born in Greenville, South Carolina in 1852. Until she was 81 years old, Elizabeth suffered from asthma. Then she was cured completely, and lived free of its ravages until she died in 1955 at the age of 103. I nominate Elizabeth to be your inspirational role model for the next two weeks, Capricorn. Believe it or not, you now have the power to shed a burden or cure a malady that

Brezsny’s Free Will ☎ Rob ✍ HOMEWORK: Give names to the trees Astrology freewillastroloand plants you're most familiar with. Address them with a fond greeting whenever you see them.

gy@comcast.net 415.459.7209 P.O. Box 798 San Anselmo, CA 94979

CROSSWORD PUZZLE ACROSS 1 Keep from practicing 7 A little hard to find 15 Prefix with bacteria 16 Brought to light 17 Some French wines 18 Like a cat’s existence?

19 “Of course, what would I know?”

21 Place for a monitor: Abbr.

22 Excited 23 English sum?

25 Make (out) 26 6 letters 27 Speed 29 Eva’s half-sister?

30 Beat 32 Plant used to prevent erosion on banked roadsides 34 Had a peak experience?

37 Start of a revival?

39 Clipped 40 Beats 42 Market purchase 44 Hi-tech bookmark 45 Tom Sawyer’s halfbrother

F.D.R. initiative: Abbr.

Bad from the start?

“Stupid me!”

Poles are in it Treebeard in “The Lord of the Rings,” e.g.

55 2002 upset event 59 Try to impress, in a way 60 Of a heart chamber 61 Dual 62 RNA constituent 63 Pressed hard 64 The beginning 47 48 51 52 54

DOWN 1 Gibson of pop 2 Fortunate 3 One may be standing

at a fountain 4 Inclination 5 Early calculator of pi 6 1982 Toto hit that won Record of the Year 7 See 24-Down 8 Wood of Hollywood 9 Something easily forgotten 10 Does in 11 Break

12 Perfumery pur-

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

chase 16 15 13 Stir hopes?

18 17 14 Roush of Cooperstown 19 20 20 Major irritant 24 With 7-Down, 21 22 wasn’t inane 26 25 28 Paper pusher’s words 30 31 30 Anderson who directed “The 37 34 35 36 Royal Tenenbaums” 42 40 41 31 Jubilant cry 44 45 46 33 Sheepish excuse lead-in 52 53 51 34 Starch source, 55 56 57 informally 35 “The Men Who 59 Tread on the Tiger’s Tail” direc- 61 tor, 1945 63 36 Bile 38 “Man!” Puzzle by Brendan Emmett Quigley 41 Milieu for John Muir 50 “___ Nacht” (German 43 Praise carol) 46 Novelist ___ Heyward 53 Caught, in a way 48 1992 Michener book 56 Rapper Sandra 49 For nothing Denton’s stage name

8

9

10

11

12

13

23 27

28 32

38

14

24

29 33

39 43

47

48

49

54 58 60 62 64

57 Old English letters 58 Look into?

59 Kind of power

50

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buzz MAY27 - JUNE 2, 2004 | REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME WHEN WE DID THAT THING? THAT WAS AWESOME!

Michael Jackson unprepared to survive a life in prison

BY MICHAEL COULTER | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

T

here’s been quite a bit going on lately. You’ve got your war, the presidential campaign, a bear bit off a woman’s arm, bin Laden is now said to have 18,000 troops ready to wreak havoc on the United States, and a gallon of gasoline costs almost as much as a gallon of single-malt Scotch. It’d be easy to forget something really important like the Michael Jackson child molestation trial ... if you didn’t hear about it every five minutes.

He’s changing lawyers with the same frequency I change underwear: once a week (whether I need to or not). He’s trying to get his bail reduced from $3 million.

The media is petitioning the court to release the grand jury indictment against him. His father has hired a lawyer to watch the other lawyers. Geez, if Michael isn’t careful, he’s gonna be too busy to climb trees and get more plastic surgery.

His $3 million bail is the latest issue. The prosecution is worried that Michael might decide to jump bail and high-tail it out of the country, so they think his bail shouldn’t be lowered. That sort of makes sense. I’m sure he’s in demand all over the world.

What if, for example, Spain needed someone to hold children over a balcony, but they also needed a washed-up pop star. They could fill both positions with one simple man. Mr. Jackson fits the bill. Forget extraditing him.

Hell, they’d be recruiting him. Sure, Michael Jackson has a very specific resume, but he could be a perfect match for the right country.

He continues to say he’s innocent, and if that’s the case, you may ask, why would he consider running away? A really big reason would be fear of prison, I would imagine.

In the prosecution motion to keep his bail at $3 million, they state, “The defendant here is ‘Michael Jackson, international celebrity,’ a man whose lifestyle to date would not have prepared him to adapt readily to a prison environment and routine, and whose physical stature will present its own problems for him in making the necessary adjustments.”

That’s pretty tough talk. I’m not sure how many folks out there have a lifestyle that has prepared them to adapt to a prison environment.

Yeah, I suppose there are some out there who have been constantly raped, tattooed and kept in cells, but c’mon, no one is ever really prepared for prison.

I get the point, though. Life behind bars

would not be a good option for Michael.

Forget about the usual stuff. You wouldn’t need to jab the King of Pop with a shiv. My guess is jabbing him in the thigh with a toothpick would have him crying his ass off for three days. Plus, you know the guys in cell block D are gonna love that high voice and those high cheek bones.

They can pretend they’re having sex with Diana Ross or even that Gollum freak from The Lord of the Rings. It’s hard to imagine, but he might be an even bigger bitch in prison than on the outside.

So, if he can’t leave the country and he can’t survive prison, what’s a poor pop star to do?

His only chance is to be found not guilty. It’ll be hard to find a jury of his peers since the carnival doesn’t really have a freak show anymore, so his lawyers are going to have to bamboozle 12 regular people. Michael’s father just wants to make sure Michael isn’t being bamboozled at the same time.

The elder Jackson has hired Debra Opri to watch the trial for him or as he puts it, to be his “extra pair of eyes.” I get the feeling she wants to be a little more than that, though. ``At this point, I’m representing family interests,’’ she said. ``Joseph loves his son and wants to be kept updated on everything.’’

See, that’s a good idea. I have an even better one. Maybe he should have hired someone to keep an eye on his son when children were around him in the first place. Well, I understand, I guess. It’s easier to deal with a problem than to stop it.

I get the feeling, though, that the extra set of eyes has bigger fish to fry. ``I am a person who believes in justice and I believe Michael Jackson is innocent,’’ she said. ``I don’t believe that he has the capacity to formulate a criminal intent ... I just think I can help.’’

Wow, she’s really good with the lawyer speak. He can’t be guilty because he’s a nutcase. I have to say, that’s the soundest argument I’ve heard so far. What she’s really saying is, I want a chunk of that money the Jacksons are passing out.

Poor Michael, everyone is looking out for everything except him. I’d almost feel bad for him and the punishment he should receive, if only he didn’t deserve a whole lot worse than he’ll probably ever get.

Michael Coulter is a videographer, comedian and creator of the weekly email column “The Sporting Life.”

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News of the weird Lead story New Frontiers in Charity Fund-Raising: Norwegian activists Tommy Hol Ellingsen and his girlfriend, seeking new funding sources for the environmental movement, created a Web site earlier this year that charges visitors about US$15 a month to view pornographic photos of the couple, with all profits to benefit environmental organizations (although some were reported ethically reluctant to accept their money).

And in January, a 33-year-old British woman, “Vix,” who has multiple sclerosis, created a Web site featuring topless photos of herself and asking visitors to donate to the UK’s MS Resource Centre. (Business is slow on both sites: As of April, Ellingsen reported only 200 visitor-months, and Vix had raised the equivalent of US$6,000 from about 100 of the site’s 125,000 visitors.)

Update In 1990, News of the Weird reported on a World War II “cargo cult” on Tanna, one of the 83 islands comprising the republic of Vanuatu (located between Papua New Guinea and Fiji). Such cults are known for regarding as magical the food and supplies that Americans brought to military staging areas on the

islands, and they continued to pray for more “cargo” for decades after Americans left.

In May, according to a report in the Sydney Morning Herald, violence broke out on Tanna when Christian breakaways, calling the cargo business nonsense, fought with supporters of “John Frum,” the iconic American whom the cultists worship.

About 25 people were hospitalized, according to police dispatched from Vanuatu’s capital of Vila.

Super-recidivists According to police in Atlanta in January, Nathaniel Lee Stanley, 20, just released from jail, walked out and immediately carjacked a woman in the jail’s parking lot (and was later returned to jail). And Ms. Kelly J. Handy, 37, who posted bond on burglary charges in Wheat Ridge, Colo., in March, picked up the wig and clothing that had been taken from her on her arrest, then went into a restroom, created a new look, and, according to police, immediately began stealing from residential mailboxes near the jail.

Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 or WeirdNews@earthlink.net

COPYRIGHT 2004 Chuck Shepherd Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate

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4community Reexamining the definition of family

BY KELLY RETAN | STAFF WRITER

came next. Ramona sometimes feels ignored and locked out of such conversations. So for now their answer is, “We don’t remember.�

Strangers often think she’s the grandmother (“It’s the gray streaks,� says Ramona). Or she’s the stepmother.

Allie makes her way downstairs so Ramona can get ready for work. Allie is the stay-athome mom, and she is dressed for it: blue jeans, a simple green shirt and running shoes.

Her long curly hair is loose and, and not a frill is in sight: no makeup, no jewelry. Allie’s body is stocky, and her years of weightlifting before getting pregnant are evident in her frame and gait. But some endeavors fall by the wayside with a young child—events like weightlifting, shaving her legs and some days even showering.

She eats the breakfast Ramona prepared without warming it and positions herself on the red, plush couch with Jacob in her lap.

Although the world isn’t a parade of critics, reactions to this lesbian family are not always heartening. At a local restaurant Allie and Ramona once answered, “We both are� to the inevitable birthing question. The woman asking looked pained and strode away, disgusted.

The gold ring Allie put on her ring finger

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health insurance. As a couple, they are considered legal strangers.

Loading Jacob into the car takes some maneuvering. “We’re getting in the car, bud,� says Ramona as Jacob stands outside the car looking uninterested in the endeavor. The mothers hover about their child, heaving and strapping him in. “You can get the top buckle,�

Allie says to him, even though at 20 months he clearly can’t. “Need help with that, bud? These gotta line up, and you gotta puuush. Perfect.�

Jacob will not always have such a hard time with seat belts. But, as he loses his diapers and his car seat, there will be other hard times as he will have to answer the question, “Why do you have two moms?� Ramona and Allie need only to look to Ramona’s sister’s family for a glimpse of what may come.

Ramona was never close to her sister, but they did visit her on their annual “East Coast tour� vacation each summer before Jacob was born. But not since. Now, Ramona’s sister’s husband will not tolerate a visit. He does not want his children exposed to Jacob. “He thinks Jacob’s a freak, a mistake, that we’re freaks,� Ramona said. “We’re afraid that he’s raising his kids to be mean to kids like ours.�

Jacob’s baby seat is placed in the middle of

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Allie reads with Jacob while Ramona pets their cat, Oscar.

film

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004 | THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW? A.K.A. INDEPENDENCE DAY 2

BOBBY JONES, STROKE OF GENIUS ★★★ JIM CAVIEZEL With a naturally beautiful backdrop immersed in a heartwarming tale that transcends its sport, Bobby Jones, Stroke of Genius is enjoyable for golfers and non-golfers alike. The game itself is only a minuscule portion of the film’s overall message and does not drain the emotion and intensity of the characters. Golfers will appreciate the historical account of a legendary player but the rest of the audience will connect with Jones’ tortuous life off the course.

(Dan Nosek) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy BREAKIN’ ALL THE RULES ★★ JAMIE FOXX AND GABRIELLE UNION Breakin’ All the Rules is a watchable film. At its peaks and during Foxx’s “sexpert� scenes, it could even be considered hilarious. Chestnut is solid gold. Any actor who can be funny working with the like of Lil’ Bow Wow (Like Mike) and Steven Seagal (Under Siege 2) should be given a Nobel Prize. This is a film that will not draw many looks from critics around the country, but can provide a light moviegoing experience for those that aren’t up to the substance of the summer blockbusters hitting the screens this summer. Have fun, but don’t expect too much out of Foxx and Chestnut in Breakin’ All the Rules. (Andrew Crewell) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy ENVY ★ JACK BLACK & BEN STILLER It’s pretty safe to say Envy wouldn’t have been made without so many big names, which at least accounts for Christopher Walken’s presence as a homeless hippie who pops up whenever the film gets bored with Stiller and Black’s inconsistent characters. It’s like a one-joke SNL skit gone terribly wrong. In fact, it’s a shame Envy won’t be shown on Late Night with Conan O’Brien. It’s the perfect piece of crap for Triumph to poop on. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND ★★★★ JIM CARREY& KATE WINSLET Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is a thrillingly stimulating, mentally challenging puzzler worthy of thought as well as conversation. It’s about the destiny of love, the spontaneity of life and the everyday opportunity to fully realize both. It shows that we can never truly escape from pain, that heartache is a small price to pay for a chance at happiness, and that a mind—especially one like Kaufman’s—is a terrible thing to waste. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

PHOTOS | CHRISTINE LITAS

amona has never been a morning person.

But today at 5:30 a.m., as her 20-month-old son twists his tiny fingers around her silverstreaked hair and even sticks them up her nose as she sleeps, she doesn’t have much choice.

Jacob rules the house.

Some mornings, the sandy-haired boy shuffles down the hall away from Ramona and into the guest room bleating, “Nurse! Nurse!�

There resides Allie—Jacob’s other mom—the woman who gave birth to him. These proud parents are weaning their son, so for now Ramona sleeps with him in the master bedroom and Allie in the guest room, her mammary glands safely tucked away from Jacob for the night.

Every family has a routine. These are the morning habits of this American family. While the routine is common, the players are not.

Ramona and Allie are a lesbian couple and their son Jacob was conceived by donor sperm.

To Allie and Ramona, Jacob simply does not have a father.

At a time when the conventional mom-dadand-kids unit is only one option of “family,� lesbian households with children are less and less unusual. Census data from the year 2000 reports that 601,209 same-sex partner households exist in the United States. One out of three lesbian couples living in the same household is raising children.

Despite the growing census figures of gay families, this family’s situation is certainly not common in Champaign-Urbana. And the couple knows Jacob may soon face disapproving questions and silent disgust.

Ramona and Jacob eventually amble downstairs together, Ramona holding Jacob’s hand as he hops down each stair separately in his striped, footy pajamas. Once in the living room, Ramona and Jacob snap on the TV to a PBS video they can both stand (Ramona hates Barney). Ramona, the cook of the family, whips up blueberry muffins in a self-described “June Cleaver moment,� while Jacob slowly builds toy trains.

Hints of this family’s personality pepper the room. College literature, vegetarian cookbooks and yoga how-to books are stacked anywhere and everywhere between the living room and the kitchen.

Jacob’s influence abounds: toys in every corner, boxes brimming with games, pictures and more pictures. Big, gentle cats—Felix and Oscar—stretch listlessly on the floor.

Sometimes, Ramona’s relationship with Jacob is confusing to strangers. In grocery stores, restaurants and shopping malls, people ask, “Who’s the mom?� Ramona and Allie used to answer, “We both are,� but the inevitable question of who gave birth always

after their commitment ceremony has also evoked reactions. “I married a woman� was Allie’s answer to “What does your husband do?� While not everyone is visibly prejudiced, most need a second to recover. Allie imagines the thought process in people running something like, “I don’t think it’s bad but maybe they think I think it’s bad. What can I say now?�

Ramona is ready for her work day as an assistant professor of family studies, specializing in gay and lesbian families. She wears jeans and a dark turtleneck. Like Allie, she is unadorned. Wire-rimmed glasses frame her face. Her long, dark brown hair is pulled into a simple bun, the gray streaks glinting. “So he didn’t eat much breakfast?� Allie asks as they hurry out the back door. “No, he did not want any,� Ramona answers. Allie grabs a banana and some toast and off they go.

Prejudiced strangers are not this couple’s only challenge. Allie and Ramona are not a married couple, at least not according to law.

Illinois does not recognize same-sex unions, so their twin gold bands are only a symbol of their commitment. Ramona and Allie cannot file taxes jointly, and cannot use each other’s

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004

Drive-thru Reviews

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KILL BILL: VOL. 2 ★★★★ UMA THURMAN & DAVID CARRADINE It simultaneously proves Tarantino’s incredible understanding of his strengths and limitations as a director who wears his influences so proudly on his sleeve. He doesn’t try to top that which he references, but by synthesizing all of his favorite styles into a wholly new genre of creative filmmaking, he creates a unique, brave vision all his own.

Vol. 1 and Vol. 2 are different enough in tone to watch separately but densely linked in a way that can only be truly appreciated when taken together. Tarantino entered Kill Bill a student, but he emerges a master. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy MAN ON FIRE ★★ DENZEL WASHINGTON & DAKOTA FANNING Director Tony Scott (Spy Game) never met a flashy, kneejerk cut he didn’t like, and he makes even the calmest sequences in Man on Fire feel like chase scenes out of Enemy of the State. Essentially, this overly long drama is little more than a story of the usual American mentality of trying to solve the problems of other countries with bigger guns and bigger egos. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy MEAN GIRLS ★★★ LINDSEY LOHAN & LACEY CHABERT Mean Girls’ screenwriter Tina Fey uses a candor that not only criticizes the stereotypes of these portrayals, but also depicts them in an entertaining way that is unique to anything shown before. The students of North Shore High don’t all belong in magazine advertisements. Some belong in the “before� pictures in weight loss commercials or on the front cover of “Special Olympics Success Stories.� This film uses the formula of the typical high school illustration, adds fresh humor and a touch of reality that makes the film surprisingly entertaining to watch. (Art Mitchell) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy THE PUNISHER ★★★ THOMAS JANE & JOHN TRAVOLTA It’s hard to say what the bigger disappointment is: that the first half of the movie was pretty damn good or that John Travolta has a decent performance in a movie that wastes his talent. With more explosions than Rambo III and an actor whose performance is only slightly better than Dolph Lundgren in the original, The Punisher is probably enjoyed only by those looking to get away for two hours, action junkies, or 15-year-old boys. (Dan Maloney) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy NEW YORK MINUTE ★★ MARY-KATE AND ASHLEY OLSEN All in all, the film is just what anyone would expect.

There are a couple of funny moments, some annoyingly adorable moments and others that just aren’t funny or adorable. The most striking fallout from New York Minute is the twins’ diminutive stature. Standing approximately 5 feet tall, and weighing what looks to be about 65 pounds apiece, the Olsen Twins are anything but the average movie star. At any rate, New York Minute will do its part to dispel a good deal of obsessions with the Olsen twins, mostly because they just aren’t cute anymore. (Andrew Crewell) Now Showing at Beverly and Savoy

GODSEND ★ ROBERT DENIRO & GREG KINNEAR Rumor has it that four endings were shot for this film, which will make any viewer wonder if the movie would have been better if they focused more on the plot in the first 90 minutes and less on the last 10. Even though it comes in under two hours, this film feels bloated and boring to the point that you’ll wish you had a clone to send to the theater so you wouldn’t have to endure this cinematic misstep. (Jason Cantone) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

13 GOING ON 30 ★★★ JENNIFER GARNER & MARK RUFFALO The premise of the film appears somewhat hokey, and by no means original, but Garner’s performance shines it up like a brand new mint penny ready for circulation.

Garner’s natural ability to bring out empathy in others, both on screen and off, will eventually catapult her into the levels of stardom that Julia Roberts saw after Pretty Woman. They both subtly command attention, while winning over anyone who comes in view of their grown-up girl-next-door personas. (Janelle Greenwood) Now Showing at Beverly and Savoy

GOOD BYE, LENIN! ★★★ CHULPAN KHAMATOVA & DANIEL BRUHL Some comedians have suggested the idea of a German comedy is an oxymoron. Wolfgang Becker’s Good bye, Lenin! comes close to representing the complexity of an oxymoronic sense of humor. The film is a subtle, bittersweet political satire about the final days of the former East Germany in 1989 and the deception of an ailing East Berlin woman whose son wants to protect her health at a time of drastic change. (Syd Slobodnik) Now showing at Boardman’s Art Theatre

SHREK 2 ★★★ MIKE MYERS & EDDIE MURPHY Shrek 2 does an admirably effective job of balancing its sarcastic but sensitive tone, and it’s never too bitter to be sweet. The film manages to repeatedly wink at all things Disney without coming off competitive, an honorable move for a Dreamworks studio that should have plenty to gloat about at the box office this summer. In giving reverence with each reference, the four-headed team of writers keeps things light and sprinkles good-hearted, intelligent fun throughout every scene. It becomes apparent that the

original strove for greatness while this suitable sequel is merely good, but it’s hard to complain about another chuckle-filled trip to fantasyland sure to once again make Disney green (cha-ching!) with envy. (Matt Pais) THIS OLD CUB ★★★ RON SANTO The film’s more joyous moments details Santo’s recent work as a Cub announcer and his broadcast chemistry with Pat Hughes and the team’s number retirement ceremony at Wrigley Field last year. These scenes can’t compensate, though, for the film’s more awkward parts, which include the recent wishful hype over Santo’s possible induction into baseball’s Hall of Fame. Here, director Jeff Santo interviews legends Johnny Bench, Willie Mays, Willie McCovey and Brooks Robinson, all of whom strongly endorsed Santo’s wish for the Hall of Fame.

Sadly, like last year’s missed playoff opportunities, Santo will have to wait until another day for his induction into the Hall of Fame. (Syd Slobodnik) TROY ★★ BRAD PITT AND ERIC BANA Troy uses endless flourishes of triumphant horns and cymbal crashes to create some sense of majesty, but it does as much justice to Homer as William Hung does to “She Bangs.� Troy desperately wants to be a loud, sweeping rallying cry for love, brotherhood and country, but it’s just a bunch of pretty boys playing dress-up in this real Greek tragedy. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy VAN HELSING ★ HUGH JACKMAN Dracula relentlessly tries to spread his seed (unprotected sex, anyone?) and it’s up to the vampire slayer to stop him. And when Anna tells Van Helsing she’s never been to the sea, you know he’s going to take her there because that’s what a real man would do (wink wink). All of this should be enough to make your heart thump, but instead your pulse will nap while your mind goes for popcorn.

For all of its adrenaline-rush action, Van Helsing is like a Halloween costume-themed Universal Studios ride, tailored to a PG-13 audience happy to get its biggest thrills from Count Chocula. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

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OPENING THIS WEEKEND RAISING HELEN KATE HUDSON & JOAN CUSACK Kate Hudson plays your everyday, grown-up party girl with a dream job and a glamorous life ... at least until her sister and brother-in-law die in a car crash and she takes sole custody of their three kids. Joan Cusack, according to the trailer, plays the role of the responsible sister and even has a mom haircut. While Hudson learns to juggle life and kids, hilarity is sure to ensue. (Paul Wagner) SOUL PLANE SNOOP DOGG & TOM ARNOLD After a bad flight experience, a lawsuit and a huge settlement check, airline NWA is born complete with hot stewardesses, a dance club and a bathroom attendant.

How can a movie with Snoop Dogg and Tom Arnold about a “flyâ€? airline not be funny? This is sure to be a comic gem. (Paul Wagner) THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW DENNIS QUAID & JAKE GYLLENHAAL First off, weather scares the hell out of me. Can’t control it. This movie plays to those fears like it’s its job, which it is. Quaid, a paleoclimatologist (whatever that is) figures out that a series of catastrophic events are soon to occur, and he tries to save his son (Gyllenhaal) in New York. Weather to end the world ‌ a scary thought.

(Paul Wagner) I’M NOT SCARED AITANA Sà NCHEZ-GIJÓN & DINO ABBRESCIA Something sinister is lurking under the surface of 10year-old Michele's (Giuseppe Cristiano) idyllic summer in 1978. While the days in his remote southern Italian village are filled with the familiar routines of childhood, a chance discovery leads to a shocking revelation. Now, suddenly beyond the point of no return, Michele digs further to find that even his own parents may be behind what's quickly becoming the country's most nefarious crime. (www.boardmansarttheatre.com) Opening at Boardman’s Art Theatre

THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 12:30 1:00 1:30 3:10 4:00 4:30 6:40 7:00 7:30 9:30 10:00 11:15 12:10 Sun. - Thu. 12:30 1:00 1:30 3:10 4:00 4:30 6:40 7:00 7:30 9:30 10:00

â—† SHREK

2 (PG) (4 SCREENS) Fri. & Sat. 12:20 12:40 1:00 1:20 2:40 3:00 3:20 3:40 4:45 5:10 5:30 6:45 7:10 7:40 8:00 9:00 9:30 10:00 11:00 11:20 11:45 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 12:20 12:40 1:00 1:20 2:40 3:00 3:20 3:40 4:45 5:10 5:30 6:45 RAISING HELEN (PG–13) 7:10 7:40 8:00 9:00 9:30 Fri. & Sat. 12:30 1:00 3:10 10:00 4:45 6:45 7:15 9:30 9:50 12:10 Sun. - Thu. 12:30 1:00 3:10 THIS OLD CUB (NR) Fri. & 4:45 6:45 7:15 9:30 9:50 Sat. 12:30 2:40 4:50 7:00 9:10 11:30 SOUL PLANE (R) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 12:30 2:40 4:50 Sat. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:20 7:00 9:10 9:40 11:50 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:20 9:40 TROY (R) Fri. & Sat. 12:30 13 GOING ON 30 (PG–13) 1:00 3:50 4:30 7:10 8:00 Fri. - Thu. 12:40 2:50 7:10 11:00 11:30 Sun. - Thu. 12:30 1:00 3:50 4:30 7:10 8:00 BREAKIN' ALL THE RULES (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 5:00 9:30 VAN HELSING (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 12:20 1:00 3:10 MAN ON FIRE (R) Fri. Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:10 10:00 4:00 6:30 7:00 9:30 9:50 12:15 MEAN GIRLS (PG–13) Fri. Sun. - Thu. 12:20 1:00 3:10 & Sat. 12:40 2:50 5:00 7:30 4:00 6:30 7:00 9:30 9:50 9:50 11:50 Sun. - Thu. 12:40 2:50 5:00 7:30 9:50 Showtimes for 5/28 thru 6/3

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moviereview

THIS OLD CUB ★★★

BY SYD SLOBODNIK | STAFF WRITER

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his Old Cub suffers from an identity crisis, somewhat like that of its subject matter. It’s not some sappy Disney kiddie action/adventure film, as the title may suggest. Nor is it really an art house documentary, like the local multiplex ads might pigeonhole it from their mostly commercial offerings.

More like an ESPN special, This Old Cub is a loving tribute to one of Chicago baseball’s finest third basemen and most beloved radio baseball broadcasters—Ron Santo—by his film maker son, Jeff. Even more unique than his many hitting and fielding accomplishments in his 14-year career was Santo’s playing secret.

He played the first 11 of those years hiding his Type-1 diabetes from everyone, with only the Cubs’ team doctor’s knowledge. His career accomplishments, with such an uncontrolled disease, prove even more astounding.

Narrated by noted Chicago actor Joe Mantegna, co-author of the popular play Bleacher Bums, director Jeff Santo details his dad’s humble working class beginnings in Seattle, Wash., to how Santo had a vast choice of teams to join in his 1960 rookie year. Within just a few years, he made a real name for himself in the majors. In 1961, he was named

RON SANTO—A PERFECT 10 | MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004

sophomore player of the year, hitting 23 home runs and driving in 83 RBIs. He made the 1963 All-Star team for the National League, won the first of his Golden Glove awards in 1964, and became the youngest Cub team captain in 1964 at the age of 24.

Jeff Santo’s biopic reaches several narrative climaxes during its quickly paced 86 minutes, while piling on plenty of Cubs nostalgia for many of baseball’s most loyal and struggling fans. Fans will hear the famous play-by-play of Jack Brickhouse, as well as the lively chorus of “Hey, Hey, Holy Mackerel!” while seeing some of the vintage Santo clutch homers and diving defensive fielding gems.

The 1969 season contains the film’s most noteworthy scenes of Santo’s playing career.

Cub fans of all ages will enjoy the roller coaster of emotions, from “Mr. Cub” Ernie Banks’s poetic spring training declaration, “The Cubs will shine in ‘69,” to their record 11-1 April win-lose start. Famous Chicago actors Bill Murray, William Petersen and Gary Sinise recall vivid boyhood memories of the glorious road to the near-pennant year. Dennis Franz remembers worrying that he’d be in Vietnam while his beloved Cubbies would be fighting for their first World Series since 1945.

Santo remarked, “It was the greatest of my career. We were like rock stars.” Then like some manic swing of fate, early September rolled in and the New York Mets overtook the slumping Cubs.

The film treats the ‘69 slump much like the media treated the Cubs last season when they dropped the playoffs to the Florida Marlins, blaming fate and several misfortunes of the game. Few remember Santo’s late August hitting slump and several costly fielding errors

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in a couple of crucial September games that year—which this movie ignores, much like the sports media overlooked the silence of Sammy Sosa’s bat in the playoffs last year.

Still, Santo ended his playing career with the Cubs in 1973 with 342 career home runs, ranking him high on the list of all-time home run leaders.

Much of the rest of the film focuses on Santo’s lifelong battle with diabetes and his crusade to fight for diabetes treatment and research.

Santo tells how he miraculously THIS OLD CUB | RON SANTO self-monitored his blood sugar levels during his playing days, in a time before Wrigley Field last year. These scenes can’t fancy blood monitoring devices and how he’d compensate, though, for the film’s more awkduck into the dugout for candy bars when he ward parts, which include the recent wishful felt weak. One remarkable, almost mythical hype over Santo’s possible induction into anecdote—retold by Santo—notes a game baseball’s Hall of Fame.

Here, Jeff Santo interviews legends Johnny where a diabetic reaction caused him to have triple vision. Billy Williams was batting while Bench, Willie Mays, Willie McCovey and Santo sat in the on-deck circle looking up at Brooks Robinson (arguably baseball’s greatest the triple deck scoreboard. When Williams third baseman ever), all of whom strongly walked, Santo stepped up and faced all three endorsed Santo’s wish for the Hall of Fame. of Dodgers starter Bill Singer. Santo picked the Sadly, like last year’s missed playoff opportumiddle image and smashed Singer’s first pitch nities, Santo will have to wait until another into the bleachers for a game-winning grand day for his induction into the Hall of Fame. slam.

SCREEN REVIEW GUIDE Other, more touching images contrast amazing feats of Santo’s playing days against ★★★★ Flawless the present-day Santo getting up in the morning and meticulously putting on his prosthesis ★★★ Good legs after two amputation surgeries. ★★ Mediocre The film’s more joyous moments detail ★ Bad Santo’s recent work as Cub announcer and his broadcast chemistry with Pat Hughes and No stars Unwatchable the team’s number retirement ceremony at

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MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004

the back seat, so either Ramona or Allie can easily reach him. Allie drives. Jacob murmurs “Mommy” every so often, obviously appealing to both of them for further entertainment.

“Mommy” or “Mama” is a general call for assistance from either parent in this family.

Both mamas talk to him as Allie drives. Jacob points outside the car to a truck and declares it a “bus.”

“Yeah, everything that big is a bus,” Ramona laughs.

“That’s a truck, honey. A bus carries lots of people, a truck carries stuff,” Allie says.

Allie was 18 and Ramona 21 when they met.

Ramona was a senior and an outspoken feminist on the small liberal arts campus at Macalester College in St. Paul, Minn.

“You were kind of an icon,” Allie says. “I was a lowly little freshman.”

“But you were very cute in fatigues,” Ramona says.

“Oh, my camouflage fatigues,” Allie says, laughing. “A holdover from high school.”

Allie played guitar, hung out with friends, smoked a lot of Marlboros. She had a radio show on which she would play anything but “You Light Up My Life” by Debby Boone. They had a brief romance but Ramona ended it.

“I was too jealous, too possessive,” Allie says.

Three years later, in 1990, they ran into each other at Super America and quickly fell in love.

“I was waiting for you,” Ramona says, smiling.

Q & A

KevinHales

★★★

BY ANDREW VECELAS | STAFF WRITER

S

omething about computers fills people with resounding pessimism. Try to count the number of movies that focus on computers bringing about the destruction of the human race, or show regular folks at the mercy of technology. Despite all the advances computers have brought, most movies coming out of Hollywood still seem bent on telling us we were better off before computers became such a big part of our lives.

This is why Tron stands out, and can probably be enjoyed even more today than when it was first released in 1982. The movie has a sense of wonderment at computers that Hollywood quickly abandoned, and dares to think that something amazing, and not entirely sinister, can be found inside those electronic boxes.

Tron imagines a world where computer programs battle against each other in a digi-

tal world, where each program worships its programmer (called a “user”) like a god.

When one of these programmers, a brilliant video game designer named Flynn (Jeff Bridges) gets zapped into this world, he finds himself fighting alongside the other programs in a series of computer games realized full-scale. The games are all run by the evil Master Control Program (MCP), which is trying to assimilate all other programs and gain control of both the electronic and real worlds.

Flynn gets dragged into the struggle against the MCP, and must fight to save both worlds.

The plot mixes cyberpunk and Spartacus in equal doses, focusing more on being clever than convincing. The religious and moral aspects of the

story will fly over the heads of younger viewers and will come off a bit pretentious for the more mature. Tron’s dialogue is the very definition of corny. And the actors other than Bridges (who has a lot of fun with his role) get lost in the fray. Thankfully, the whole plot is an excuse for the film’s striking effects sequences. Just when things get too confusing or corny, there’s sure to be an incredible effects shot to make up for it. This is one instance where an effects extravaganza is definitely warranted.

Probably put off by the geek appeal of the plot, critics and audiences largely wrote off the movie upon its initial release, and it was eventually outgrossed by the arcade game based on it. The film has always maintained a sizeable cult following, willing to overlook the quirks of the film for its merits.

And what exactly are Tron’s merits? It is definitely the ultimate tri-

umph of style over substance. To put it simply, no film before or since has duplicated the look of the computer world achieved by the movie. The filmmakers used state-of-the-art (at the time) computer imagery—combined with some surprisingly low-tech camera effects—to bring the digital world to life.

The limited capabilities of computers at the time actually work to the advantage of the designs by artists such as Syd Mead and Moebius, and help to create a world that is simultaneously stark and colorful, simplistic and surreal.

So the plot is unconvincing, the performances forgettable, the dialogue relies a bit too much on techno-babble, and the climax makes no sense—even after multiple viewings. Yet it overcomes these faults in grand style, and seems all the more entertaining because of its little quirks in terms of plot and characterization. It hearkens back to an era when having a sense of awe at computers was still possible, and is still as much of a joy for imaginative audiences today as it was 20 years ago.

PHOTO | RODERICK GEDEY

TRON: GUILTY PLEASURE OF THE WEEK

Professor Kevin Hales was born in raised in the Bronx, N.Y. After graduating from Fisk University in Nashville, Tenn., Hales earned his master’s degree in history at North Carolina Central University.

Following his graduate work, he traveled to Ghana, Africa, to do research for a year in 1998. He has traveled to many places but finally landed at Parkland College in 1999, where he teaches American, African-American and African history.

Now he shares his passion of history with those who are willing to learn.

5

was going to last. “Our commitment ceremony really helped her,” Ramona says. “She totally got it as a wedding.”

Ramona and Allie laugh about how now anytime “anything gay” is mentioned in the newspaper, Ramona’s mother sends them clippings.

In 1994, they committed to each other for the rest of their lives.

At Bevier Hall, Ramona reaches between the seats and kisses Jacob goodbye. “Bye, sweetheart. Can I have a kiss? Mwa. Bye, sweetie.”

“Bye bye, mama.”

Ramona gives Allie a quick kiss, steps outside the car, waves and smiles. Jacob waves back.

Ramona’s life leading up to now wasn’t always placid and secure. “My parents just did not have much to give,” she said. Ramona learned to be independent, not even thinking twice at 8 years old about riding her bike five miles to the pool without telling anyone. Her mother did not work. “She just wasn’t paying attention.”

And then suddenly, she was. Ramona had a girlfriend when she was a teenager. “We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. It was pretty obvious to anyone.” Her mom left the family for an entire year when she found out, and moved back in with her parents in Texas.

“You’re disgusting and I want nothing to do with you,” Ramona remembers her saying.

“I had a boyfriend pretty fast after that,” Ramona says.

Ramona spent the remainder of her teenage years and into her 20s struggling to figure out her sexuality. She moved far away from her parents on the East Coast to Minneapolis for college and graduate school. But she came out as a lesbian again in her 20s—this time for good.

“I just told everybody in a letter, just sent a letter to everyone I am related to and said, ‘This is who I am. You like me, great. You don’t, whatever.’ “ Her mother tried immediately to work damage control.

“Don’t tell your grandparents,” she pleaded.

“Frankly,” Ramona said, “ I already did.”

Ramona says her mother calmed down when she realized her relationship with Allie

How did you become interested in history?

I’ve always loved it since grade school. I’ve always been a person who loved history; to read about it, learn about it. In honesty, I can’t remember a time when I’ve not enjoyed reading about history. I mean European, Asian, South American. It didn’t matter when I was a kid.

what American culture is, who we are as a people, who we are as a social, cultural, political, economic entity. Because without understanding that, it’s hard to understand what an American is, what America is. It’s hard to take pride in something you know nothing about. In a lot of ways, American history in particular is the foundation, the building block to give people an understanding of their history, their culture and the mistakes of the past. The great accomplishments of the past build a foundation of the people as Americans. And you can’t go to Iraq or Afghanistan and teach them about democracy, about being an open society, about how great American culture is if you don’t know what that entails.

Who do you admire? Why? John Hope Franklin. He’s a historian. He’s at the top of the list of living souls, of people who are living, now. He just received an honorary degree this past weekend from the U of I. We both went to Fisk, the same undergraduate college. He is a man who has tried to take American history and elevate it over the last five decades to another level and make it interesting and make it relevant to modern times. I would hope that any “younger” people would hope to do that and continue that tradition. He’s a good man.

And he’s really tried to make history something that young people can really wrap their minds around and make it relevant for today.

What are some of the challenges you find in teaching?

Of course, dealing with young teenage folk— 17, 18, 19 (years old). Most people come into a history class with an attitude that it’s going to be boring like it was in high school. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, blah blah blah. So you want to make it fun. You want to make it enlightening and you also want to be able to tie Washington into today and Iraq, and show young folk that history aren’t these dead facts; that it’s a living, changing entity in itself. And that yesterday relates to today, and that today is actually resting on top of yesterday’s foundation. If young folk understand that then I think their whole understanding of history changes. Every day is history.

What are your goals for the future?

Earn a Ph.D. Write a few books in the coming years or so. Those are the two big ones. And really find time to write.

Did you always know you wanted to do something geared toward history in your future?

Well, when I was younger, I grew up in New York, in the Bronx. I didn’t have an ambition to go to college until after high school. I always knew that I could go to college, and that if I did get there I knew at the very least I would do something in history, although certainly the ambition to go to college and be a historian came a bit later on.

How did you come to work at Parkland?

Actually, I was in London. I’d finished up in Ghana, and I was in London with some friends and a friend here in North Carolina faxed me the article in the Chronicle of Higher Education stating that Parkland was looking for somebody to teach American, BlackAmerican, and maybe African (history). So it seemed to be a perfect fit. It was ideal. So the timing was just perfect.

What are some of the rewards of teaching history?

Certainly, that you get to impart the cultural foundation of the history of what America is,

continued on Page 19

Jacob eats freshly-picked strawberries.

If you weren’t teaching, what would you like to be doing?

I’d probably be doing something involving plants, horticulture. Maybe own a plant store or a greenhouse. If I could make money off of plants, I certainly wouldn’t mind doing that.

What is your favorite part about history?

It helps people living in today’s time get an understanding of how today is shaped and fashioned. So if you understand yesterday, it helps you understand what is going on today.

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arts

Tony Award preview

BY JEFF NELSON | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

E

COURTESY OF JEFF NELSON

very year since 1947, the American Theatre Wing has bestowed honors on Broadway shows that have achieved a level of excellence. They are the U.S. theater’s Oscars.

They are the Antoinette Perry or Tony Awards.

In that first year, there were only seven categories—no best play or musical until 1948 and 1949, respectively. OK, here is your theater trivia question: What were the first best play and best musical winners in l948 and 1949?

This year, there are 22 categories with up to five nominees in each category chosen by a selected nominating committee of 30. The membership of The American Theatre Wing is small compared to the Motion Picture Academy (about 10 percent of the size) and everyone is expected to see every nominated show or not vote in that category. Despite the seemingly New York-only appeal of these awards, they have aired on regional television since 1956 and national television since 1967.

Here is a quick look at the 2004 Tony Awards.

Best Play – A tough one and none are wellknown. Last year’s Pulitzer Prize winner, Anna in the Tropics is up against Frozen, The Retreat From Moscow and this year’s Pulitzer Prize winner I am My Own Wife.

Best Musical – Some gems here, although

Scene from one of this year's tony nominees, Avenue Q.

buzz

THAT’S WHERE I SAW THE LEPRACHAUN. HE TELLS ME TO BURN THINGS. | MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004 buzz

none is really famous yet. The outrageous Avenue Q is a satire on downward social movement among today’s recent college graduates.

It’s hard to hate a show whose major hit song is “It sucks to be me.” The Boy From OZ and Caroline or Change are up against co-favorite Wicked, which is The Wizard of Oz told from the witches point of view ... in music.

Some odds and ends about the other nominees – Former Tony and Pulitzer Prize winning playwright Tony Kushner is nominated twice for his first musical Caroline or Change. He wrote the book and the lyrics. Two Shakespearean productions, one American, Henry IV; and one Canadian from Ontario’s Stratford Festival, King Lear, grabbed a total of seven nominations. Not bad for the Bard! Two theater giants from these Shakespearean productions will compete against each other for Best Actor in a Dramatic Production: Kevin Kline in Henry IV and Christopher Plummer in King Lear.

Wicked, which has a huge following among young theatergoers, has the most nominations (nine) and may walk away with more than this season’s best box office receipts. Check out the results June 6 on all CBS affiliates, and now for the trivia answer: The first Best Play from 1948 was Mr. Roberts and the first Best Musical from 1949 was Kiss me Kate. buzz

playreview

I Never Sang for my Father ★★★

Robert Anderson

BY SYD SLOBODNIK | STAFF WRITER

O

moviereview

sympathetic character, much like Gene Hackman achieved in his Oscar-nominated version of this part in the 1970 movie version of this play. The film version will be broadcast in mid-June on Turner Classic Movies.

John Mahoney is also in rare form. For those only familiar with Mahoney as the cranky, cane-toting Martin Crane on TV’s Frasier, you’ll not imagine the depth and range of emotions he brings to his role as Tom Garrison.

Tom is a self-made man, the survivor of a Depression era single-parent family. He lives a life of prescriptive mottos, rules and country club connections. Frequently referring to himself as a “good soldier” and addressing friends with a hearty “All right, old man,” he is a picture of aging confidence, but with something emotional lacking. Mahoney and Anderson make a believable pair; a father

ne of the unique aspects of the Chicago theater experience is that established-star members of some of the city’s finest theater groups periodically return to their home training grounds, even after years of movies and television success. The latest production of Chicago’s Steppenwolf Theatre is a touching revival of Robert Anderson’s 1968 I Never Sang for My Father.

This production not only features two of the Steppenwolf’s finest founding ensemble members, but also reunites John Mahoney and Kevin Anderson as a father and son, reliving the chemistry they had in the mid-1980s, when they performed in Lyle Kessler ’s Orphans at the Steppenwolf and in a successful Broadway run.

I Never Sang for My Father is actually more like a Hallmark Hall of Fame television special in that its simple plot structure and sentimental retrospective narraSteppenwolf ensemble members Kevin Anderson and John Mahoney. tion tell a touching melodramatic tale of feelings and emotions about a and son with unfulfilled needs.

The rest of the Steppenwolf ensemble is middle-aged man’s awkward relationship directed in fine form by Anna D. Shapiro. with his Depression era father.

Set in the early 1960s, Anderson plays Other standouts include an exceptional Gene Garrison, a young widower whose Deanna Dunagan as the frail, yet always prospects for a new relationship and possi- loving Mrs. Margaret Garrison, Gene’s ble marriage may take him far from his mom. And returning to the stage—all too somewhat needy elderly parents who live in infrequently since taking over the duties as the Steppenwolf’s artistic director—is suburban New York.

The play opens when the parents return Martha Lavey.

Lavey’s performance as Gene’s sister Alice from their winter home in Florida and Gene’s mom’s heart condition seems to provides some of the play’s most emotional cause the family concern. Gene’s dad, a near- and psychologically probing scenes, as the ly 80-year-old firecracker, is a more difficult obviously hurt sister tries to convince her problem because he’s never been emotional- brother not to waste his emotions on a diffily close to his son and disowned his only cult parent, who in the past acted so heartdaughter when she insisted on marrying a lessly toward those he was supposed to love.

Jewish man. Gene’s beginning narration I Never Sang for My Father runs at the establishes the story’s conflict and the moody tone for the play when he declares, Steppenwolf Theatre at 1650 N. Halsted St. “Death ends a life, but does not end a rela- until June 20—Fathers Day. tionship…”

Kevin Anderson’s laid-back introspective PLAY REVIEW GUIDE narration and performance takes a while to warm up to, but after numerous predica★★★★ Flawless ments with his father and waves of emotion★★★ Good al anguish, the audience really feels the pains of his dilemma. He wants desperately ★★ Mediocre to make peace with his dad and find a way ★ Bad to love him, but finds the task too hard with No stars Unviewable a man who shows so little outward affection.

Anderson creates a powerfully touching and

SHREK 2 ★★★

BY MATT PAIS | LEAD REVIEWER

T

hree years ago, the wildly successful Shrek threatened to be the nail in the coffin of the already struggling Disney drawing department, which hadn’t turned out a true gem (and still hasn’t) since The Lion King. Since then, the Mouse House hasn’t come up with anything new, but audiences have basked in the dizzying creativity of Spirited Away, The Triplets of Belleville, and Pixar prizes Monsters Inc. and Finding Nemo. So where does that leave a lovably crabby ogre and his upbeat donkey sidekick?

Well, the big green Dreamworks machine is back, and in the sufficiently satisfying Shrek 2, it’s clear that time hasn’t hurt the computeranimated hero a bit. The visuals are every bit as lively as the original, and it’s a relief to see that the trio of directors (again headed by Andrew Adamson) has vaccinated the franchise from a bad case of sequelitis. From the turning of the first page of the storybook that

dvdreview

TOP GUN ★★

BY DEVON SHARMA | STAFF WRITER

O

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film

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004 | DO YOU KNOW THE MUFFIN MAN??

ver the years, Tom Cruise has managed to make many things seem amazingly cool.

It’s an effect known as the “Cruise Treatment.”

Among the list of things made cool by the Cruise Treatment are: demanding the truth from a creepy old man who insists it can’t be handled, taking an autistic brother out gambling in Las Vegas, and dancing around the house wearing tighty whities. Yes, all these are now infinitely cooler thanks to Tom Cruise, but there is one activity that has benefited far more than any other from the Cruise Treatment: being a cocky, beach volleyballplaying fighter pilot who becomes disheartened and mopey after feeling responsible for the death of a partner and friend, but then rallies magnificently to shoot some Soviets out of the sky and win the girl over. Accomplishing all of these tasks was made cool by none other than Tom Cruise in 1986’s Top Gun. And that, pretty much, is all there is to Top Gun. Cruise plays Maverick, the aforementioned Navy fighter pilot—complete with the

introduces the film’s snappy opening, this follow-up doesn’t feel forced. Instead, it feels like the natural progression of a story that we’re more than willing to see continued.

This time around, Shrek (Mike Myers) and Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz) return from their honeymoon—an inspired, heartfelt affair that incorporates nods to From Here to Eternity and The Lord of the Rings, among others—to an invitation from her parents to a royal wedding ball. The king and queen are expecting a beautiful princess and her Prince Charming, but the happily wed ogres embark on the journey to the kingdom of Far Far Away so Shrek can meet the folks.

Needless to say, mommy and daddy are less than thrilled to see their ghastly green daughter and son-in-law, and the King (John Cleese) hatches a plot to fix up Fiona with the real Prince Charming (Rupert Everett). For the most part, that’s the extent of the story, and the plot dries out surprisingly fast for a film with so much creativity. Like the ogre himself, Shrek 2 sags heavily around the mid-section, weighted down by a domestically-driven plot without enough twists and turns.

Fortunately, the dazzling computer images more than make up for the lack of narrative drive. Both films are made with pure, rambunctious imagination, and it’s impossible not to eagerly anticipate what will happen next, even if you begin to lose interest in who it’s happening to. Of course, the humor largely rests on puns and cultural references, but it’s a delight to

watch Shrek 2 deftly incorporate adult-oriented jokes into such kid-friendly material.

It’s not quite as witty as the original, but it’s nearly as giddy. In a hilarious melding of Beverly Hills excess and Disney legend, the kingdom of Far Far Away is represented as a mix of Hollywood and the Magic Kingdom. Aside from the giant sign resting in the hills, Cinderella and Snow White live in massive manSHREK 2 | SHREK & PUSS-IN-BOOTS sions leading up to the castle, and the streets are lined with fairy tale versions balancing its sarcastic but sensitive tone, and of upscale establishments. It’s but one of the it’s never too bitter to be sweet. The film manmany sight gags that make Shrek 2 so pleasantly ages to repeatedly wink at all things Disney watchable, guaranteed to tickle parents while without coming off competitive, an honorable move for a Dreamworks studio that should entertaining children.

There’s also Puss-In-Boots as a Spanish-fla- have plenty to gloat about at the box office this vored assassin voiced by Antonio Banderas, summer. In giving reverence with each referwho makes a charismatic desperado out of the ence, the four-headed team of writers keeps furry feline who eventually teams up with things light and sprinkles good-hearted, intelShrek and Donkey. This sparks some jealousy ligent fun throughout every scene.

Shrek 2 picks up noticeable steam in its in Eddie Murphy’s jovial jackass, and as they fight to be Shrek’s four-footed right-hand man, urgent final act when Shrek and the whole Murphy continues to make a case for an all- gang of fairy tale favorites teams up to reunite animated career. He’s far more comfortable him with Fiona. It becomes apparent that the being a good-natured ass as Donkey than in original strove for greatness while this suitable any of his recent bombs (Daddy Day Care, I Spy, sequel is merely good, but it’s hard to comThe Adventures of Pluto Nash, take your pick), plain about another chuckle-filled trip to fantasyland sure to once again make Disney green and he’s that much funnier.

Shrek 2 does an admirably effective job of (cha-ching!) with envy.

aviator sunglasses, bitchin’ motorcycle and attitude to boot.

Maverick, being one of the best pilots in the Navy, is sent off to attend Fighter Weapons School, dubbed “Top Gun” by the students.

The school trains the top 1 percent of Navy pilots—obligatory “best of the best” comments are made throughout—to become even better. Maverick, from the moment he arrives, seeks to beat out the rest of the students and win the trophy for TOP GUN | ANTHONY EDWARDS & TOM CRUISE best pilot at “Top Gun.” The best of the best of actors portraying them. Val Kilmer plays Iceman, Anthony Edwards is Goose, and the best, as it were.

Somewhere along the line, Cruise’s charac- Kelly McGillis gives us the sexy and saucy ter is given a real name, but it’s quickly for- Charlie. Meg Ryan and Tim Robbins make gotten since that’s not what Top Gun is about. unexpected appearances, as well. They’re all The characters here are little more than two- looking as good as they ever have, which is dimensional cardboard cutouts, lacking any an added bonus. Just wait until the beach volsort of depth or development. They have leyball scene, with Cruise and Kilmer topless. clear-cut roles to fill, and they wear these The heat can be felt through the TV. Sure, Top roles on their sleeves. Well, on their helmets, Gun is formulaic, with a recycled plot and to be exact. The rival pilot who butts heads stale characters. But it’s cool; real cool. The with Maverick, and is too cool for words? action is entertaining, if only because watchThat’s Iceman. It says so right there on his ing things move really fast and blow up is helmet. Maverick’s partner and buddy, the fun.

The DVD comes with no extras or commencomic relief, and “the only family Maverick’s got?” That’s Mother Goose, Goose for short. tary whatsoever. Perhaps it’s for the best, See it there, written on his helmet? And how though. Some things are simply meant to be about the love interest, the “target” of the way they are, with no added features or Special Treatment. Of course, everything could Maverick’s affection? She goes by Charlie.

The thing that saves these characters from benefit from a little Cruise Treatment, and being far too predictable and boring is the that’s the truth. Can you handle it?

C-UViews Compiled by Roderick Gedey

Shrek 2 ★★★★ Pam Simmons Urbana, Ill.

“It was nice that they gave you the happily ever after theme.”

★★★★ Jamia Monterio Urbana, Ill.

“It was hilarious. It kept you on the edge of your seat.”

★★★★ Kavoscea Simmons Urbana, Ill.

“Puss, Pinocchio and the Gingerbread Man stole the show.”

DREAMWORKS PICTURES

5:45 PM

PARAMOUNT PICTURES

5/26/04

COURTESY OF STEPPENWOLF THEATRE

052704buzz0615

6:01 PM

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calendar

WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com | MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004

“Conscious Living Through Nature” – Works from Lisa Billman on display thru June 20.

Aroma. 118 N Neil, C. Open 7 days a week, 7am-12am.

356-3200.

Parkland Student Graphic Design Juried Exhibition – The Parkland College Student Graphic Design Juried Exhibition. On display thru June 17. Parkland Art Gallery. M-Thur, 10am-2pm, Tu & Thur, 68pm. 351-2485.

“Enigma and Intimacy The Photography of David Nolan” – On display at Verde’s Gallery Two thru June 12. 17 E Taylor St, C. Cafe hours: Mon-Sat 7am-10 pm; Gallery Hours: Tue-Sat 10am-10pm. 366-3204.

“Gestural Curiosities” – Drawings by Jodi Bowen and Ceramics by Ella Brown Dunn on display at Verde in the Main Gallery thru June 12. 17 E Taylor St, C. Cafe hours: Mon-Sat 7am-10 pm; Gallery Hours: Tue-Sat 10am-10pm. 366-3204.

“Supply & Demand” – David Griffin display ends May 29. New work by Ron Kovatch, Alex Fekete, Peggy Shaw, William Baker, and Charles Mercer. Cinema Gallery, 120 W Main, U. Tu-Sun, 10am-4pm. 367-3711.

EVENTS Soul Strut 2004 Family Health Walk and Fair – The fair is in celebration of National Black Health and Fitness Month.

Douglass Branch Library.

Sat, 8am-1pm. 351-2597.

Bloomsday Centennial – Downtown Champaign will join in this year’s celebration with word, dance and song on June 19. Info: David Gehrig at zemblan@earthlink.net, Lisa Boucher at lisa@fpmrecords.com, fpmrecords.com/events/bloo msday.html.

Dump and Run garage sale collection – Coll. dates: Now-June 5, M-F, 9am-3:30pm; June 5, 9am-4pm; July 10, 8am4pm; Aug 2-10, M-Sat, 9am-3:30pm. Info: Aimee, 337-1500 or www.universityymca.org.

WORKSHOPS Border Crossers Discussion Group – The group will discuss the book Waiting for Snow in Havana by Cuban Author Carlos M. Eire. Borders Bookstore. Thur, 7pm.

351-9011.

PHONE: 217/337-8337 DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

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• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion.

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• All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student.

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• All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student.

• This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

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2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

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Employment 000 HELP WANTED | Part Time Help Wanted for organic vegetable farm. Thursdays and Fridays. 6432031.

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished 1005 S. SECOND, C Efficiencies. Fall 2004. Secured building. Private parking. Laundry on site, ethernet available. Phone 3523182. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com

HELP WANTED | Full / Part Time Geovantis. 401 E Green. Help wanted. Experienced bartenders and servers. Apply within.

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES Put your PC to work. $25-$75 an hour, part-time, full-time. Full training provided. Call 800-810-4582. www.dreamsneverending.com

Apartments

400

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished | Unfurnished 1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $585 3 bedrooms $750 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking.

Fall 04, 367-6626

105 E. CLARK

Avail Aug 2004. Attractive modern loft apts. Dishwasher disposal, window a/c, ceiling fans, patio/ balconies, carpet, laundry, parking, 2nd floor skylights. Rent starts from $435/mo. $50/month to furnish.

Apts. shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

609 W. MAIN, U

Renting Aug 2004. Quiet building in nice Urbana neighborhood. 2 bedroom apts Furnished $525/mo. Parking optional, Central A/C, Carpet, laundry facilities. Gas Heat. Daily showings, 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com Large 3 bedroom, duplex, clean, quiet, well-maintained.

Hardwood floors, responsible owner, near IMPE, Champaign. $900/month.

Available mid-August. 684-2226.

706 S. WALNUT, U

1006 S. 3RD, C. Aug 2004. Location, location. One bedrooms for fall. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com

1006 W. STOUGHTON, U.

Very close to Engineering campus.

Avail for Aug 2004. Masonry construction.

2 bedrooms from $620/mo. Window A/C, Carpet, Parking $25/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

102 N. GREGORY, U.

August 2004. Close to Illini Union. 2 bedrooms at $500/mo. Carpet, Gas Heat, Laundry. Parking available at $30/mo. 7 days a week showings.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com.

104 E. ARMORY Location!!

4 bedroom, 2 bath www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

105 E. John 1 bedroom furnished, great location.

Includes parking. www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

201 N. LINCOLN, U

August 2004 rental. 2 bedroom apt at $500/mo. Close to campus with parking, ceiling fans, laundry, carpet/tile floors. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

307 W. Elm, U.

Renting for August 2004. Quiet neighborhood. 1 bedroom apts. from $475/mo. Gas heat, central a/c, laundry facilities. Parking included.

To furnish $50/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Availble August ‘04. 1 bedroom apts in quiet Urbana neighborhood. Hardwood floors. Window A/C, forced heat. Parking avail. Rents from $410/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

Barr Real Estate 356-1873 www. barr-re.com

Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus for January. $550 per month.

367-6626.

Avail for Aug 2004. Large furnished efficiencies close to Beckman Center. Rent starts at $325/mo. Parking avail at $30/mo. Window A/C, carpet. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Courtyard Apartments 713 S. Randolph, Champaign Renting for Fall/2 & 3 Bedrooms.

Furnished & Unfurnished From $608/mo.

Includes cable, parking, water.

Has laundry facility and seasonal pool. Near campus and downtown Champaign.

352-8540, 355-4608 pm. www.faronproperties.com

311 E. WHITE, C.

508 E White Spacious 2 & 3 BR, nicely furnished apt. Resident Manager Kenny James. Maintenance, no hassle. www.ugroup96.com 359-7297 493-0429 509 E. White, C. Aug. 2004. Large 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Phone 352-3182.

Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished 604 E. White, C. Security Entrance For Fall 2004, Large 1 & 2 bedroom furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available.

Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com

702 W. WESTERN, U.

Aug 2004. 1 bedrooms with window a/c, carpet/tile floors, boiler heat, laundry on site. Parking avail. Rents from $495/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

706 S. FIRST, C

Excellent Value for Aug 2004. Half block south of Green on First Street.

Large apts in security building. 2 bedrooms from $427/mo. Window A/C, Carpet, Hot water heat. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

805 S. LINCOLN, U.

Aug 2004. Great location. Attractive apts. Carpet, Ceiling fans, A.C. Efficiencies from $500/mo. 7 days a week showing.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

ARBOR APARTMENTS, C.

Avail August 2004. Located at Third and Gregory across from the Snack Bar. A block from IMPE. Large one bedroom apts. Well-maintained. One of the best bargains on campus.

Gas Heat, Carpet, Window A/C, Assigned Parking available. Laundry facilities available. Rents start at $405/mo. Apts shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

BUSEY & ILLINOIS, U.

Large apts in quiet Urbana location one block South of Green and one block East of Lincoln. Off street parking. 2 bedrooms now starting at $560/mo. Avail Aug 2004. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com ENGINEERING CAMPUS Large Studio APTS Fall 2004 307-310 E. White Secured Bldg., ethernet available UGroup96.com 352-3182 John Randolph Atrium Avail now for either semester or year lease. Rent a bedroom/bath close to Osco Drug on Randolph & John.

Starting at $300/mo. with basic utilities included. Call for showing.

Barr Real Estate, Inc. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com JOHN STREET APARTMENTS 58 E. John August 2004. Two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwashers, center courtyard, on-site laundry, central air, ethernet available.

Call Chad at 344-9157 352-3182 University Group www.ugroup96.com OLD TOWN CHAMPAIGN 510 S. Elm 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, dishwasher, W/D, central air/heat, off street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. $525/mo. 352-3182 or 841-1996. www.ugroup96.com

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished AVAILABLE NOW & SUMMER 307-309 Healey UGroup96.com 352-3182

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Unurnished 1 & 2 bedroom off-campus apartments in older homes. All utilities, parking, laundry included. Available now. 314, 316 S. State, 316 Cottage Court. 369-7205.

buzz

Other Rentals 500 ROOMS

903 W. NEVADA, U

Quality rooming house. Near Jimmy John’s on Lincoln Ave. Rooms avail for Aug. 2004. Rents from $260/mo to $330/mo. Laundry facilities, Common kitchen. Showing 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

HOUSES

115 W. WASHINGTON, U

Quality Properties Available August 10 On busline near campus. Off-street parking. Responsive management.

106 West Holmes, Urbana.

Large 3 BDR Ranch.

714 South State, Champaign.

Huge 2/3 BDR Duplex.

Photos at: http://www.pomp.com/rental.

Phone: 217-355-3841, lv. msg.

205 E. Stoughton, Champaign Great 3 bedroom apartment available for fall. Large living room, Central air/heat. Close to Engineering quad. $595/mo. www.theelectrumgroup.com (217)649-0761

ROOMMATES

Available Aug 2004. 1 bedroom apts. in quiet Urbana neighborhood.

Carpet, window a/c, laundry, boiler heat. Rents from $510/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

205 EAST HEALEY, C

Renting Aug 2004. Very large 1 bedroom apartments. Carpet, window A/C, parking available at $30/mo.

Rents start at $385/mo. Shown daily 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com 800 W. Church, C. Available now and through summer.

Economical 2 BR. $450/mo.

352-8540, 355-4608 pm, weekends. www.faronproperties.com Urbana. Two bdr. duplex apt. Appliances. W/D hook up. One car attached garage. On bus line. Available June 1. No pets. $550/month.

Call 643-2373.

Great quiet house needs roommates. Great amenities. $295$375/mo. Ben (217)637-6378 Regina- pareigis@uiuc.edu

NEGOTIABLE

4th and Gregory. Female. $200/mo.

202-9735.

Summer roommate wanted for luxurious furnished 2 bedroom, Presidential Towers. All utilities included, parking available. $400/mo. Call Sara 847-528-8996.

Announcements800

SUBLETS SUMMER ONLY

University Commons 1 bedroom fully furnished includes utilities: game room, fitness room, pool and jaccuzzi, computer lab, washer/ dryer. $600 for the summer.

Available now through Aug 7th. Call 309-333-1024 6-9 bedroom house on campus for fall 2004. 367-6626.

602 W. Michigan, U Avail 2004. 3 bedroom house with sunroom, washer & dryer, forced air heat. Rent $1,300/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com Lovely 4-5 bedroom house. Fireplace, oak French doors and floors.

A/C, parking, full basement, busline.

Randolph and White St., Champaign. Available 8/16/04. $1300/mo.

356-3232

HAMSTERS spend their entire lives walking on newspapers.

★★★

Peter Haining

BY BRANT GLAN | STAFF WRITER

W

hat can one say about a collection of short stories from some of Ireland’s most celebrated authors? Certainly, no book with contributions by James Joyce and Samuel Beckett could be considered a bad read. Great Irish Drinking Stories, a 333-page volume edited by Peter Haining, assumes the daunting task of providing readers with a cross-section of world literature that celebrates the pursuit of a good time above all things.

Indeed, scholars might argue that Joyce is “brazenly convoluted” or Beckett is “illegitimately intellectual,” but this volume does not merely focus on the Irish literary tradition as espoused by these two great writers. Simply put, this book strives to capture the essence of Irish revelry through several generations and permutations of its short story tradition.

Haining’s undertaking does not merely

BOOK REVIEW GUIDE

★★★★ ★★★ ★★ ★ No stars

Flawless Good Mediocre Bad Unreadable

7

doing the same—both in his music and writing.

One need not be Irish or even of Irish lineage to appreciate this madcap jaunt through the public houses and countrysides of Erin.

As most of the works rely on allusions from other works in the authors’ catalogues, Haining prefaces each tale in his collection with a brief biography of the storyteller and a summary of his or her best known works.

Great Irish Drinking Stories should of course be read in its entirety in order to appreciate the intricacies of the drinking culture that Haining brings to light. However, the book could just as easily be enjoyed on a story-by-story basis. These stories weave the reader through a m e l a n c h o l y, h u m o ro u s a n d often mystical cultural world enjoyed by a few hardy souls lucky or unlucky to be called Irish. Great Irish Drinking Stories has earned a place on e v e r y coffee table in the E n g l i s h s p e a k i n g w o r l d — i f only for something to do in between drinks.

ARTIST’S CORNER

BY KATIE RICHARDSON | ARTS EDITOR

K

What inspires you?

I have a great deal of respect for someone like Evel Knievel because he wore a cape and he had the balls of a cougar. If you have the courage of your convictions to do what you want, regardless of what some may think, then I think half of your battle is already won. I don’t know if I have that yet, but I strive to thrive nine to five. I also like Rudyard Kipling.

In what environment do you like to work?

On the flip side of that courage coin, I think you have to be open to criticism, and not be

blindsided by stubborn arrogance. It’s difficult to make progress working inside a vacuum, if that’s even possible. I guess it’s important for me to be surrounded by people who share mutual goals and interests. That way I can bite their styles.

When did you start making comics?

My older brother and his best friend had a comic book company called Lightning Comics.

When they were 10 years old, and I was 7, they decided I was good enough to work for them, so they wrote me up a contract and I signed it. For all I know, I’m still obliged under that contract to this day.

Why did you choose these pieces?

I didn’t have much of a choice. These are the only two pieces I’ve ever done. Look out for my next installment in ‘08. Peace out.

Evolution has provided us with an opposable thumb, allowing us to recycle our newspapers so we never have to walk on them like our little furry friends.

Please recycle this newspaper.

ROOMS

Donate Your Used Cell Phone

Rooms from $285 per bedroom on campus. Available Now. 367-6626, 637-2111.

YWCA at the U of I 1001 S. Wright St. Champaign, IL 61820

Other Rentals 500

Great Irish Drinking Stories

offer 26 James Joyce facsimiles. This book celebrates all eras of authors from the Emerald Isle.

In fact, the most startling contribution in the volume comes in the second-to-last excerpt. This piece is possibly the shortest story in the volume and is written by Shane MacGowan, the lead singer of the Irish punk band The Pogues. “The Rocky Road to Dublin”—an excerpt from his 2001 book A Drink with Shane MacGowan— explains his vision of what The Pogues were trying to do musically, cross-breeding the Gaelic folk songs of their beloved homeland with the similarly Dionysian riffs of rock ‘n’ roll. This book is worth picking up if only to witness an Irish punk rebel in the same company as writers like James Joyce. Joyce celebrated the vernacular and drinking heritage of Ireland, and strangely enough, MacGowan seems to be

nut Bauer currently works at Art Coop on Green Street. He is a painter as well as a comic artist. He received a BFA in painting. He loves to watch movies and has a discerning and meticulous eye that allows him to see the humor and intricacies in both art and life.

Our most desirable location on U of I golf course. 1200 sq. ft, 2 bedroom, 2 bath, fireplace, study, dishwasher, W/D, A/C, covered parking, balcony/ patio. 359-3687 and 359-0065.

Lease, deposit, no pets.

Sublet: one of two bedrooms, furnished. Corner Lincoln/Main. $342.

Parking, laundry, internet. Joe 404606-0212, jmweinbe@uiuc.edu

bookreview

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arts

buzz MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004 | I BENT MY WOOKIE.

Cartoonist Knut Bauer

WORK COURTESY OF KNUT BAUER

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5/26/04

PHOTO | RODERCIK GEDEY

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buzz

HE’S GOOD, MR. LEBOWSKI, AND THOROUGH | MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004 buzz

First day back

Former members of C-U’s Braid reunite for one last national tour

A

PHOTO | COURTESY OF INVISIBLE YOUTH PR (NATHAN KEAY)

lmost like a phoenix rising from the ashes, Braid has resurrected from the dust of Champaign-Urbana’s 1999 music scene.

Some thought it would never happen. And while it is most unlikely that anyone will ever hear a “new” Braid album, for the next several months, people will at least have the chance to see the band live one last time before the members of Braid dissolve back into various musical projects.

The history of Braid begins in 1993 when Bob Nanna, Braid’s former/current vocalist and guitarist, met Roy Ewing, Braid’s former drummer, as undergraduates at the University of Illinois. Braid released several albums, played a number of shows and said hello and farewell to a number of band members until finally settling down with their former/current lineup. Braid’s 2004 reunion tour will include Bob Nanna on vocals and guitar, Chris Broach on vocals and guitar, Todd Bell on bass guitar, and Damon Atkinson on drums. Although Roy Ewing served many faithful years with Braid, he had to bid farewell due to job and time constraints.

The tour kicks off in the town where it all started: Champaign. As festivities begin and nostalgia sparks, the question of “why” will no

doubt be lurking in the minds of many showgoers.

Talk of a reunion was something mentioned in passing between ex-Braid members, according to Broach. Braid’s fan base grew even after they had called it quits. Because those aftermath fans never saw a single Braid show, the members thought maybe it was time to regroup. The tour is also a good opportunity for Braid to promote the new DVD which has added songs, interviews and commentary unlike the previously released video, Broach said.

Braid last toured in 1998. For about nine months, the band traveled around together in a van playing show after show and spending almost all their time together.

“There were so many stressors and so many things there. For us to remain a band, we would have had to take a break,” Broach said.

However, Broach said the band felt that it was just time to finish and split. They had come to a point where they could do no more with each other.

“Musically, we worked pretty well, but there were just things I wanted to experiment with that they didn’t, and there were things that they wanted to experiment with that maybe I didn’t necessarily want to do either,” Broach said.

After the breakup, Nanna, Bell and Atkinson rejoined to form Hey Mercedes with the help of Mike Shumaker of Sheilbound.

Braid members (from left) Todd Bell, Bob Nanna, Damon Atkinson and Chris Broach reunite and tour.

Broach went his own way to run his label, Lucid Records, and to work on a number of projects including Firebird Band and Life at Sea. “What happened was we all broke up,” Broach said. “Those guys ended up gravitating back together. I think I was doing my own thing, and maybe we were growing apart from each other.”

While emotions are steady between the current members on the 2004 tour, it was the little things that caused a bit of tension for the breakup.

Murder by Death (top) and “You get annoyed Minus the Bear (right). with someone’s hello because you’re in a van for fucking eight months saying the same fucking thing every time,” Broach said.

Although the members went their separate ways, Broach said he likes Hey Mercedes.

Their sound is much poppier than Braid’s, but they do what they do well, he said.

“They’re just more pop-sensible when they write songs,” he said. “Some of the stuff I’ve heard from them rocks a little bit harder than some of (Braid’s) stuff. I like the rock aspect of Hey Mercedes.”

Tension and stress has simmered, and the first rehearsals went well, Broach said, adding that things have been coming together without a hint of awkwardness.

“The rehearsals have been fun,” he said.

“But there were some parts where some of us were raising our arms saying, ‘I have no idea what to do here.’ But I think it takes a few times of just going through it.”

When they first formed, Braid used to hold rehearsals in Garner Hall where Nanna and Broach lived in their early college years.

Practices later moved to the basement of a house on West Springfield Avenue, which Broach said he drives by every time he visits Champaign.

Like old times, Braid will not only playing at Highdive, but also a surprising date at Caffe Paradiso. Broach said the Paradiso show would be like playing the small basement shows in Champaign-Urbana, again.

“We wanted to try and do an all-ages show

Braid’s reunion tour kicks off Thursday, May 27 in Champaign before going nationwide.

Thursday, May 27 – Braid, Minus the Bear, Murder by Death and The Reputation at Highdive, starting at 9 p.m. $12 Friday, May 28 – all ages show with Braid, Minus the Bear, Murder by Death and The Silent Treatment at Caffe Paradiso, starting at 7 p.m. $15 Saturday, May 29 – Braid, Minus the Bear, Murder by Death and The Silent Treatment at The Metro in Chicago at 6 p.m. $12.

PHOTOS | COURTESY OF BAND WEBSITES

BY SUSIE AN | STAFF WRITER

that wasn’t 19 and over,” he said. “Paradiso can hold a certain amount of people. It’ll be fun for the kids who can get in.”

While Braid reunites, some of the non-Braid members of these other projects will help out in the reunion. Mike Shumaker, guitarist for Hey Mercedes, will be doing sound for the tour, and the road crew of Hey Mercedes will be acting as the road crew for Braid.

Things seem to be coming together for the band, but no one should be led to believe that this is a rekindling of the past.

“As far as we’re concerned, we’re going to be done after the tour,” Broach said. “We’re going to be going to Japan, and then that’s it.”

With much anticipation, many people await to see how the band will sound, and if they will have chemistry on stage. (There will be no new Braid songs, so stop asking.) Either way, Braid has re-assembled, and they’re jumping full force into the tour.

“It’s been a long time, and I haven’t played these songs at all until now. It’ll be pretty nostalgic for all of us in a good way,” he said.

Broach said he’s not looking forward to the exhaustion a tour brings or the little arguments that are likely to happen. However, he said he’ll be traveling with his friends and having fun.

“There are no heavy emotions happening around it this time,” Broach said. “I think I’m looking forward to getting on the road and playing kick-ass shows to people who are excited to see the shows.” buzz

calendar

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004 | WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com

6/4 Lucinda Williams, Miller Williams @ Rubloff Auditorium 6/4 Danger Mouse @ House of Blues, 18+ 6/4 Decemberists @ Metro, 18+ 6/4 Steve Forbert @ Schubas 6/5-6 Trans Am @ Empty Bottle; Bottom Lounge 6/5 Rush @ Tweeter Center 6/5 Mary Lou Lord @ Schubas 6/5 Fall Out Boy @ House of Blues, all-ages 6/5 Dido @ Chicago Theatre 6/10 Janet Bean & The Concertina Wire @ Schubas 6/11 Aquabats @ Metro, all-ages 6/11 James Brown @ House of Blues 6/11 MC5 @ Metro, 18+ 6/11 Jesse Malin @ Schubas 6/11 Dios @ Martyrs' 6/11 Sam Phillips @ Park West 6/11 Handsome Family @ Old Town School of Folk Music 6/11-12 Beulah @ Abbey Pub 6/12 Kenny Brown, Cedric Burnside, T-Model Ford @ House of Blues Back Porch Stage 6/12 Fetal Position @ Old Town School of Folk Music 6/12 Fleetwood Mac @ Tweeter Center 6/12 Franz Ferdinand @ Metro, all-ages 6/12 Marah @ Schubas 6/12 Maritime @ Bottom Lounge, 18+ 6/12 John P. Strohm @ Schubas 6/12 X-ecutioners @ Metro, 18+ 6/13 Cheryl Wheeler @ Old Town School of Folk Music 6/13 Richie Hawtin @ Smart Bar 6/13 Devendra Banhardt @ Bottom Lounge, 18+ 6/13 Blink 182, No Doubt @ Tweeter Center 6/14 Mclusky @ Schubas 6/15 Femi Kutl, Angelique Kidjo @ House of Blues, 18+ 6/15-16 Skinny Puppy @ Vic 6/17 David Byrne @ Skyline Stage 6/17 Grant-Lee Phillips, John Doe @ Park West, all-ages 6/18 B-52'S @ Vic, all-ages 6/18 Dave Matthews Band @ Tweeter Center 6/18-19 Shins @ House of Blues 6/19 Chicago, Earth, Wind & Fire @ Tweeter Center 6/22 Rachael Yamagata @ Schubas 6/24 Peter Himmelman & Band @ Park West, 18+ 6/24 Richard Thompson @ House of Blues 6/25 Taj Mahal & The Hula Blues Band @ House of Blues, 18+ 6/25 Jonathan Richman w/Tommy Larkins @ Double Door 6/25-26 & 28-29 Prince @ Allstate Arena 6/26 Primus @ UIC Pavilion 6/25-27 Magnetic Fields @ Old Town School of Folk Music 6/26 Brother Ali @ Abbey Pub, 18+ 6/26 Mum @ Logan Square Auditorium, all-ages

6/27 Leon Russell @ Abbey Pub 6/28-29 Pedro the Lion @ Abbey Pub, 18+ 6/30 Los Lobos @ Park West, 6/30, (rescheduled from 4/30)

ART NOTICES Art Classes by Sandra Ahten:“Art With Intention” – 2-hour drop-in time, Thur 3-9 pm. $95 for 5 sessions. spiritofsandra@hotmail.com or 367-6345.

Faux Finishing workshops – Boyer Drawing & Painting Studio in Lincoln Square Mall. June 16 & Aug 25. 9am-5pm. Fee: $195. Info: 369-8838 or www.boyerdrawing.com.

Creation Art Studios – On-going after-school art classes for children. Morning, evening and weekend studio sessions for adults. 1102 E Washington St, U. www.creationartstudios.com. 344-6955.

Reflection and Creation Art Worshop/Retreats – Workshops at Creation Art Studios with artist Jeannine Bestoso. Snacks. Pre-register. Fee: $50.

9am-1pm – June 13, July 18. Four CPDU’s offered.

344-6955, www.creationartstudios.com, jbestos@msn.com.

ART EXHIBITS Cafe Kopi – Work from Melissa Washburn on display. 109 N Walnut, C. M-Thu 7am-11pm, Fri-Sat 7am-12pm, Sun 11am-8pm. 359-4266.

Creation Art Studios Gallery – Artwork by director Jeannine Bestoso, associates and students on display. New hours: M-Sat, 1-5:30pm and other scheduled times. 1102 E Washington, U. www.creationartstudios.com. 344-6955.

Greasey Creek Oaks Gallery – 8 E Main St, Oakland.

Wed-Sat, 9am-4pm. 346-2986.

Laser’s Edge – Oil paintings and framed etchings by Sandra Ahten, and work by Lee Boyer now showing. 218 W Main St, U. M-F 9am-5pm. 328-3343.

Old Vic Art Gallery – Fine and original art. 11 E University, C. Mon-Thu 11am-5:30pm, Sat 11am4:30pm. 355-8338.

“Healing Works” – On display at the Independent Media Center Middle Room Gallery. 218 W Main St, Suite 110, U. carahale@uiuc.edu.

“Prints and Pots” – Printmaking by Lawrence Hamlin and pottery by Louis Ballard. Runs thru June 13. Springer Cultural Center. M-F 8am-9pm, Sat 9am-5pm, Sun 12-5pm. 398-2376. www.champaignparkdistrict.com “Unlimited Visions: Interpreted Images by Larry Kanfer” – Larry Kanfer Gallery. 2503 S Neil, C. Free.

M-Sat 10am-5:30pm. 398-2000. www.kanfer.com.

CROSSWORD P 18

A gallery of distinct fine American Arts and Crafts HOURS: Tuesday-Saturday 10am-5pm Sunday 12pm-4pm or by appointment

415 E. Main Street, Mahomet 217-590-2800

D E B B I E

I N L U C K

S T A T U E

B E N T

A R C H I M W E S K I E D P U L S E U R L S D O H S U P E N A M E D T W O P H H A R A S

R O S A N N A S I E R R A S

S E N T S H E O R Y N E S D U R B O O P S E E D

E L I J A H O H W O W

M I N U T I A A P P L A U D

I C E S

R I F T

A T O M I E Z X S E T E R R E A M E E X X X T R I R A C A Y O

presents

One Book One City One Show

A Showcase of Ten Emerging Local Aritsts New Artistic talents with new points of view continually N Especial refresh our freedom of expression. In this E B S and art experts exhibition, ten nationally recognized HAartists T I have chosen one H emerging IB local artist from our X E community to ISshowcase. This exhibit is curatedby Jenny H T Southlynn and co-sponsored by IRPH, and will be open

D E EL

C N CA

Monday throught Friday from 8:3 0 a.m. to 5 :00 p.m.

“Changing Rooms: The Creation of Cinematic Space in the Works of Harry Horner” – Krannert Art Museum, display thru Sept 19. 500 E Peabody, U. Tu, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, W 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm.

Sugg Don: $3.

Home of Tangora Designs and Farmboy Artworks

CU READING

13

R E L E A S E S

E D D M A D E

I N V A I N

S T I L L E

May 17-August 15th IRPH Humanties Lecture Hall 805 W. Pennysylvania Ave. Urbana

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calendar

WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com | MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004

ThursdayMay27

SaturdayMay29

LIVE MUSIC

LIVE MUSIC

Acoustic Music Series: Hardly Portland – Aroma, 8pm, free Braid, Minus the Bear, Murder By Death, The Reputation – Highdive, 9pm, $12 Country Connection – Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Kottonmouth Kings, OPM, Judge D – Canopy Club, 10pm, $15 The Midnight Special: Synesthesia – Cowboy Monkey, midnight, free

Country Connection – Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Mike Ingram, Adam Wolfe, Larry Gates – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 Candy Foster and Shades of Blue – Tommy G's, 10pm, cover Mighty Groove Trio – Embassy Tavern, TBA, free X-Krush – Wolfe’s in Pana, 9pm, TBA Jeff Helgesen & Rachael Lee – Alto Vineyards, 811pm, $3

KARAOKE

DJ

DJ

DJ J-Phlip – house – Barfly, 9pm, free DJ Stifler – ‘80s hair bands – Tommy G's, 9pm, free DJ Delayney – Nargile, 10pm, $5 DJ Bozak – Boltini, 10:30pm, free

DJ Resonate – hip-hop – Barfly, 9pm, free House Party: DJ Mertz, DJ J-Phlip – house – Nargile, 10pm, $5 DJ Tim Williams – Highdive, 10pm, $5 “Soulful Saturdays” w/ DJ Phokiss, Chill Will, DJ World – Watusi Lounge, free before 11pm DJ Limbs – Boltini, 10pm, free

Crystal River – Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Adam Wolfe, Jess Greenlee – acoustic – Tommy G's, 10pm, free Brendon Kibbee Trio – The Iron Post, 9pm, TBA

SPOKEN WORD The Northstar Lounge hosted by CZAR Absolute of Animate Objects – hip-hop/spoken word poetry set/open mic – Nargile, 10:30pm, $5

KARAOKE

KARAOKE “G” Force Karaoke/DJ – Sappy’s on Devenshire, 9pm, TBA

MUSIC PERFORMANCE Community Drum Circle – Ten Thousand Villages, 7-9pm, free “G” Force Karaoke and DJ – Wendl’s, after softball until 2am, TBA

TuesdayJune01 LIVE MUSIC

DJ 2ON2OUT – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free NOX DJ ZoZo – Highdive, 10pm, $2 DJ J-Phlip – Boltini, 10:30pm, free

DANCING

"G" Force Karaoke/DJ – Pia's in Rantoul, 9pm, TBA

Latin Dance Night – salsa, cha-cha, merengue, bachata – McKinley Foundation, 9:30-11:30pm, $1

AROUND TOWN

KARAOKE

Wine Tasting – sample and/or buy for $3.50 per glass – Krannert Center Interlude lobby bar, 5pm, free

FridayMay28 LIVE MUSIC Bryan Holloway Trio – Cowboy Monkey, 5pm, free The Prairie Dogs – bluegrass – Tommy G's, 5-7pm, free Braid, Minus the Bear, Murder by Death, The Silent Treatment – Caffe Paradiso, 7pm, $15 Acoustic Show: Larry Gates, Gabe Rosen – Embassy Tavern, 8:30pm, free Country Connection – Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Terminus Victor, Xolotl, Balisong – Brass Rail, 10pm, cover Jamnation – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 Jeff Helgesen – The Iron Post, 5-7pm, TBA Gypsi SarI – reggae – Nargile, 10pm, $8 160 Proof – southern/classic rock – Tommy G's, 10pm, cover

DJ DJ Bozak – hip-hop – Barfly, 9pm, free DJ Tim Williams – Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ J-Phlip – Boltini, 10pm, free

KARAOKE “G” Force Karaoke – Urbana American Legion, 8pm-1am, TBA

SundayMay30

“G” Force Karaoke/DJ – Neil Street Pub, 8pm-12am, free

LIVE MUSIC Crystal River – Rose Bowl Tavern, 8:30pm, free Two Rivers – The Iron Post, 9pm, TBA

DJ

WednesdayJune02

Lil' Big Bass – drum ‘n bass – Barfly, 9pm, free Hit It Run 5: Old Skool Party feat. DJ Resonate, DJ Bozak, DJ Kosmo – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free DJ Bozak – Boltini, 10:30pm, free

LIVE MUSIC

KARAOKE

DJ

“G” Force Karaoke and DJ – Wendl’s, after softball until 2am, TBA

MondayMay31 LIVE MUSIC Kylesa, Rye Field Crane, Hollowed Out, Rujina – Red Herring, 8pm, $5 Open Mic w/host Brandon T. Washington – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Adam Wolfe – solo acoustic – Bentley’s Pub, TBA Chicago show: Idle Hours – Empty Bottle, TBA, free

DJ Lil' Big Bass – drum ‘n bass – Nargile, free DJ Bozak – Boltini, 10:30pm, free

BOB ’N DAVE

BY DAVID KING

Hard Poor Korn – Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Kilborn Alley – blues – Tommy G's, 9pm, free Country Roads and TBA – The Iron Post, 9pm, TBA She-Jays: DJ J-Phlip, DJ Lil' Big Bass – house, drum 'n bass, 2-Step – Highdive, 9pm, $2 Salsateca! with DJ Bris Mueller – salsa, mambo, bachata – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Fabulous! – Nargile, 10pm, $3 DJ Limbs – Boltini, 10:30pm, free

KARAOKE “Liquid Courage Karaoke” – Fat City Saloon, 8pm12am, TBA “G” Force Karaoke/DJ – TNT corner tavern in Rantoul, 8pm-12am

C-UVENUES Alto Vineyards 4210 N Duncan Rd, Champaign, 356-4784 Assembly Hall First & Florida, Champaign, 333-5000 American Legion Post 71 107 N Broadway, Urbana, 367-3121 Barfly 120 N Neil, Champaign,352-9756

buzz

Barnes and Noble 51 E Marketview, Champaign, 355-2045 Boardman’s Art Theater 126 W Church, Champaign, 351-0068 Boltini Lounge 211 N Neil, Champaign, 378-8001 Borders Books & Music 802 W Town Ctr, Champaign, 351-9011 The Brass Rail 15 E University, Champaign, 352-7512 Canopy Club (Garden Grill) 708 S Goodwin, Urbana, 367-3140 Channing-Murray Foundation 1209 W Oregon, Urbana C.O. Daniels 608 E Daniel, Champaign, 337-7411 Cosmopolitan Club 307 E John, Champaign, 367-3079 Courtyard Cafe Illini Union, 1401 W Green, Urbana, 333-4666 Cowboy Monkey 6 Taylor St, Champaign, 398-2688 Clybourne 706 S Sixth, Champaign, 383-1008 Curtis Orchard 3902 S Duncan Rd, Champaign, 359-5565 D.R. Diggers 604 S Country Fair Dr, Champaign, 356-0888 Elmer’s Club 45 3525 N Cunningham, Urbana, 344-3101 Embassy Tavern & Grill 114 S Race, Urbana, 384-9526 Esquire Lounge 106 N Walnut, Champaign, 398-5858 Fallon’s Ice House 703 N Prospect, Champaign, 398-5760 Fat City Saloon 505 S Chestnut, Champaign, 356-7100 The Great Impasta 114 W Church, Champaign, 359-7377 G.T.’s Western Bowl Francis Dr, Champaign, 359-1678 Highdive 51 Main, Champaign, 359-4444 Huber’s 1312 W Church, Champaign, 352-0606 Illinois Disciples Foundation 610 E Springfield, Champaign, 352-8721 Independent Media Center 218 W Main St, Urbana, 344-8820 The Iron Post 120 S Race, Urbana, 337-7678 Joe’s Brewery 706 S Fifth, Champaign, 384-1790 Kam’s 618 E Daniel, Champaign, 328-1605 Krannert Art Museum 500 E Peabody, Champaign, 333-1861 Krannert Center for the Performing Arts 500 S Goodwin, Urbana,Tickets: 333-6280, 800-KCPATIX La Casa Cultural Latina 1203 W Nevada, Urbana, 333-4950 Lava 1906 W Bradley, Champaign, 352-8714 Legends Bar & Grill 522 E Green, Champaign, 355-7674 Les’s Lounge 403 N Coler, Urbana, 328-4000 Lincoln Castle 209 S Broadway, Urbana, 344-7720 Lowe’s Big Barrel & Summer Club 14 N Hazel, Danville, 442-8090 Malibu Bay Lounge North Route 45, Urbana, 328-7415 Mike n’ Molly’s 105 N Market, Champaign, 355-1236 Mulligan’s 604 N Cunningham, Urbana, 367-5888 Murphy’s 604 E Green, Champaign, 352-7275 Nargile 207 W Clark St, Champaign Neil Street Pub 1505 N Neil, Champaign, 359-1601 The Office 214 W Main, Urbana, 344-7608 Parkland College 2400 W Bradley, Champaign, 351-2528 Phoenix 215 S Neil, Champaign, 355-7866 Pia’s of Rantoul Route 136 E, Rantoul, 893-8244 Pink House Routes 49 & 150, Ogden, 582-9997 The Rainbow Coffeehouse 1203 W Green, Urbana, 766-9500 Red Herring/Channing-Murray Foundation 1209 W Oregon, Urbana, 344-1176 Rose Bowl Tavern 106 N Race, Urbana, 367-7031 Springer Cultural Center 301 N Randolph, Champaign, 355-1406 Spurlock Museum 600 S Gregory, Urbana, 333-2360 The Station Theatre 223 N Broadway, Urbana, 384-4000 Strawberry Fields Cafe 306 W Springfield, Urbana, 328-1655 Sweet Betsy’s 805 S Philo Rd, Urbana Ten Thousand Villages 105 N Walnut, Champaign, 352-8938 TK Wendl’s 1901 S Highcross Rd, Urbana, 255-5328 Tommy G’s 123 S Mattis Ave, Country Fair Shopping Center, 359-2177 Tonic 619 S Wright, Champaign, 356-6768 Two Main 2 Main, Champaign, 359-3148 University YMCA 1001 S Wright, Champaign, 344-0721 Verde/Verdant 17 E Taylor St, Champaign, 366-3204 Virginia Theatre 203 W Park Ave, Champaign, 356-9053 White Horse Inn 112 1/2 E Green, Champaign, 352-5945 Zorba’s 627 E Green, Champaign

CHICAGOSHOWS

buzz

LORETTA LYNN Van Lear Rose ★★★★

BY JACOB DITTMER

Columbia Records

Interscope Records

★★★ Country music is in a sad state of affairs.

Modern country is championed by two types: sexy pop singer types like Shania Twain and flag waving jingoists like Toby Keith telling us that we’re not truly American if we don’t support our commander in chief. Last time I checked country music was founded in the folk movement of backwoods America. Classic country was born from those in poverty in underdeveloped and non-urban landscapes that had little trust or interest in the international affairs of our government. Daughters of coal miners for instance.

Loretta Lynn knows the life of a country singer and what country music is supposed to sound like.

She is the coal miner’s daughter as her autobiography and biopic film of the same name detailed her life and entrance to country music. She has now recorded a pseudo-”comeback” album that sounds more country than anything coming from mainstream Nashville.

In a surprising move, Jack White (poster boy for “new garage” rock and Rolling Stone’s cover fodder) offered his talents to Lynn as producer and arranger of Van Lear Rose. No matter how hard we try to dislike White for his saturation of the music media, he is making some really good music outside what one would expect, first Cold Mountain now this. Nicely played Jack White.

Lynn was a voice of the 60s country sound and now much like the late Johnny Cash, she has tapped into creating some timeless country music that appeals to both the young and the old. She keeps the lyrics biographic on tracks like “Story of My Life” and “Van Lear Rose.” Themes of family, love, country life and even a song about women’s prison hearken back to the traditional country sound.

The album sound is loose but tight. White was said to have recorded much of the songs with only

BY KYLE B. GORMAN

They say that the Appalachian range in eastern America is one of the oldest mountain ranges in the entire world. Perhaps a better word than “old” would be “timeless.”

“Timeless” is also an adjective that works well to illustrate the work of the Stanley Brothers. As opposed to the progressive, demanding sound of Bill Monroe’s blistering instrumental work, the Stanley’s played out of a bluegrass tradition that recalls its mountain origins. For the first time, with the release of An Evening Long Ago, originally a radio broadcast from 1956, the listener is able to experience the sound of these two legends coming over the wireless.

The impression this recording makes is much different from the bluegrass the listener commonly hears. The pace is largely mid-tempo, and the songs are just that: songs…and quite often, stories. Before one track, Carter explains that, in fact, the sad tale of a murder, which they are about to sing, really did happened. One can imagine Bruce Springsteen, with his folky sensibilities and his penchant for narratives, easily fancying such likable work. Coen Brothers junkies (and your dad and mom) may recognize Carter’s sloping voice from the climax of O Brother, Where Art Thou? At the climax of the film, Carter intoned George Clooney’s death anthem (the traditional “O Death”) in a manner that can only be described as “haunting.” Carter’s voice is so sincere and, conversely, so cold. He holds, caresses, and makes love to every phrase, but at the same time without any sign of stress, either emotionally or vocally.

The Stanley Brothers bring pop art to the bluegrass song, deconstructing the sound around them to let the song speak for itself, much in the way that

modern artists dissected the rock song in the late 80s. This isn’t the sort of jazz chops-influenced bluegrass peddled to you by your friendly hippy buddy, but a work full of emotional investment by the performers. The broadcast consisted of Carter and Ralph (on guitar and banjo, respectively) accompanied only by the occasional fiddle and mandolin.The two backup instruments provide a sort of landscape of train tracks and hills through which the two brothers may roam.The absence of bass has a curious effect. Rather than the rhythmic thump many of us associate with bluegrass, the lower register is left empty. The clarity and simplicity it provides is another level of artistry on this recording.

At times, the Stanley’s aren’t afraid to kick their shoes off, as they do in Ralph’s instrumental tribute to the larger-than-life railroad worker “John Henry.”

Elsewhere, listeners can enjoy a rare Ralph Stanley vocal take on “Come All You Tenderhearted.”

Overall, this is an essential listen for fans of oldtimey music, and also an interesting foray into the traditional sound for those interested in the more modern, sometimes revisionist work of today’s bluegrass.

NELLIE MCKAY Get Away From Me Columbia

★★★

BY SUSIE AN

Maybe there’s something about a brighteyed, cherry-lipped girl with her arms outstretched to the sky that makes you want to pass over what you think is just another pop album. But then with a title like Get Away From Me and the little Parental Advisory label in the corner, you think twice about the selection.

Nellie McKay at only 19-years-old is certainly not what she seems. She looks like sugary-sweetness. She sounds like sugary-sweetness. But really she’s full of sarcasm, wit and a bit of anger.

In the line of young talents bursting the scene with their pop voices and pianos, Nellie McKay stands out among them. She’s got a powerful voice that goes from soft to rich to tough, unlike certain pop singers whose voices go from baby cooing to baby cooing.

Get Away From Me is an eclectic collection of sounds. It’s like a soundtrack to a musical—a snippet of rap, some dance beats and lots of jazz. Her sound is reminiscent of Dusty Springfield back in the day.

This double disc album is full of political and social commentary, which is rather ambitious for a debut album.

But some songs have the sound of trying too hard to prove something. McKay claims to have been antisocial in her short lived college years and identifies more with downtown New York drunks rather than her own peers. She claims that this has something to do with her music, but I’m willing to say no one cares.

I guess I’d have to say the rappish songs like “Sari” are bearable to alright, but generally not as good as

9

songs like the rainy day jazz of “Manhattan Avenue” and the Marilyn Monroe gone murderous melody of “Won’t U Please B Nice.”

Where McKay is good, she’s really good. And where she isn’t, she’s alright.

Overall, the album is a promising debut, but you’ll want to keep your finger ready to skip over a few songs.

CHARTS PARASOL RECORDS TOP 10 SELLERS 1. Unbunny - Snow Tires (Hidden Agenda) 2. Morrissey - You Are The Quarry (Sanctuary) 3. timewellspent - timewellspent (Parasol) 4. The Green Pajamas - Essence Of Carol (Recordhead) 5. The Blackouts - Living In Blue (Lucid) 6. Blonde Redhead - Misery Is a Butterfly (4AD) 7. Nanook Of The North - The Täby Tapes (Hidden Agenda) 8. The Like Young - So Serious (Parasol) 9. Secret Machines - Now Here Is Nowhere (Warner Bros.)

10. Tommy Keene - Drowning (Not Lame)

NEW RELEASES (JUNE 1) Melissa Ferrick - The Other Side The Like Young - So Serious Louque - So Long Baha Men - Holla Tangerine Dream - Dream Mixes 4

COMING SOON Wilco (June 22) Sonic Youth (June 8) The Roots (June 29)

MUSIC REVIEW GUIDE

★★★★ ★★★ ★★ ★ No stars

Flawless Good Mediocre Bad Unlistenable

The Hurly-Burly Sifting through the commotion and crap of music culture Beach Boy Brian Wilson is set to release his legendary lost masterpiece, Smile, via Nonesuch Records on Sept. 28. Contrary to previous reports, the album will be an allnew, re-recorded version of the tracks, rather than the original 1966-1967 masters.

The definitive edition of the LP is being recorded at Los Angeles’s Sunset Sound Studios with original collaborator Van Dyke Parks.

JUNE 6/2 P.O.D. @ Riviera, all-ages 6/4 Patty Loveless @ Center for Performing Arts 6/4 Montgomery Gentry @ Star Plaza 6/4 Scissor Sisters @ Double Door

a few takes in the tradition of country’s early sound.

Rollicking honky-tonk country is a favorite of some tracks, while others focus on a mellowed slide and acoustic guitars. Lynn’s lyrics are the focus of many songs with the band’s sound taking a back seat to her iconic voice of country. Hints of Appalachian folk come through on some tracks while the influence of southern blues is apparent on others such as,“Have Mercy.”

Lynn’s vocals go from playful tales of drinking to contemplative nostalgic family stories giving the album noticeable variety. The music travels just as much, but White’s production manages to keep the album together offering few throwaway tracks. An air of a good country jam permeates much of the album that maintains cohesion. This 70-year-old country legend has found an unlikely partner in young upand-comer White and together the two made some of the finest country music one can buy today.

THE STANLEY BROTHERS An Evening Long Ago

MAY 5/27 Ellen Allien @ Smart Bar 5/27 Reverend Billy C. Wirtz @ FitzGerald’s 5/27 Matthew Dear @ Sonotheque 5/28 Acid Mothers Temple @ Abbey Pub, 18+ 5/28 Stills @ Metro, 18+ 5/28 Dale Watson @ FitzGerald’s 5/28 Anthrax @ Oasis 160, all-ages 5/28 Hepcat @ House of Blues, all-ages 5/29 Apollo Sunshine @ Schubas 5/29 Braid @ Metro 5/29 Unsane @ Double Door 5/29 Charlie Hunter Trio @ Old Town School of Folk Music 5/29 Dark Lotus @ Riviera, all-ages 5/29 Business, Nekromantix & Others @ House of Blues, all ages 5/29-30 MOE., Leftover Salmon, Umphrey’s McGee, Jazz Mandolin Project @ Three Sisters Park 5/30 Hot Club of 52nd Street @ Old Town School of Folk Music 5/31 Richard Buckner @ Schubas

music

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004 | NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY, IT’S HARD TO HATE JACK WHITE

CDReviews

052704buzz0912

The Hives will launch a North American summer tour on July 20 coinciding with the release date of their as-yet untitled

follow-up to Veni Vidi Vicious via Interscope Records. They will be supported by Sahara Hotnights and The Reigning Sound. The tour will end August 4.

Jawbox’ss out-of-print albums for Atlantic Records, For Your Own Special Sweetheart and the band’s final self-titled album are due for re-release this year on Desoto Records. Desoto, owned by former Jawbox members Kim Colletta and Bill Barbot, will also release the debut E.P. of Channels, the latest project by former Jawbox and Burning Airlines frontman J.Robbins.

What the hell?

Moment of the week Rumor has it that legendary horror director George A. Romero (Night of the Living Dead) is in the works to direct Diamond Dead, the story of a rock band which comes back from the dead all zombie-style. The film is set to be composed by Richard Hartley of The Rocky Horror Picture Show fame. Musicians being considered for roles include David Bowie, Gwen Stefani, Ozzy Osbourne, and (wait for it) Marilyn Manson in the role of Jesus Christ. Umm … wow.

052704buzz1011

5/26/04

5:21 PM

Page 1

buzzpicks

10calendar

calendar

Terminus Victor at Brass Rail

L

ocal band Terminus Victor will be at Champaign’s Brass Rail Friday along with Xolotl and Balisong. Terminus Victor is a permanent fixture

on Champaign-Urbana’s music scene. The two-man act delves into industrial, electronica and straight rock, all while evoking the aesthetic beauty of music. Electronica band Xolotl joins Victor at Brass Rail, as well as hard rock band Balisong. Check out the show. Music starts at 10 p.m.

the

Windy City

gets the

blues I

n a couple weeks, head north to the city for the Chicago Blues Festival June 10-13. Every year,

The

boys

are

rhythm and blues talent, both old and new, packs

back

any Braid fans have only one regret — not

M

The tour starts at Highdive Thursday at 9 p.m.

ever seeing them perform. This week, Braid

Performing with Braid are Minus the Bear, Murder

awakens from their four-year coma, kicking off

by Death and The Reputation. Tickets are $12.

their reunion tour by performing two shows in

Those fans not yet of age can see Braid Friday at

Champaign-Urbana. Such a reunion has been

Caffe Paradiso in Urbana at 7 p.m. Minus the

talked and dreamt about for years, but many

Bear, Murder by Death and The Silent Treatment

thought it would never happen. After forming in

will also rock the Intelligentsia at the cafe.

1993, Braid rocked the basement parties of C-U,

Thursday’s bands will travel up north for a show at

and then went on to national stardom in the indie-

The Metro in Chicago Saturday at 7 p.m. Tickets

rock community. After breaking up, lead vocalist

are $12. The band is promoting its Killing a

Chris Broach formed Firebird Band while guitarist

Camera DVD, which was released May 11. The

Bob Nanna, bass player Todd Bell and drummer

DVD features 75 minutes of interviews and unseen

Damon Atkinson rejoined to form Hey Mercedes.

footage from their last five shows in 1999.

the festival. Blues greats Otis Clay, Nora Jean Bruso, C.J. Chenier, and the Fat Possum Caravan will all return to the stages at this year’s festival.

For more classic blues music, catch blues veterans Robert Junior Lockwood, David “Honeyboy” Edwards and Homesick James this year. Ronnie Baker Brooks and Wayne Baker Brooks, sons of legend Lonnie Brooks, will take the stage to celebrate their father’s 70th birthday. All in all, more than 70 performers will take to the six stages each festival day at noon. Music lasts til around 9:30 p.m. each day.

Lollapalooza tickets

T

ickets are on sale for this year’s Lollapalooza. The fes-

on

tival comes to town July 29 and 30 at Chicago’s

sale!

Tweeter Center and August 1 and 2 in Indianapolis. You can buy one- or two-day passes. Prices range from $40 to $60. Alright, here goes…

First

day

lineup:

Second

day

lineup:

String Cheese Incident, The Flaming Lips, Michael Franti

Morrissey, Sonic Youth, Modest Mouse, Le Tigre, Black

and Spearhead, Gomez, Polyphonic Spree, TV on the

Rebel Motorcycle Club, Von Bondies, Broken Social Scene,

Radio, The Thrills, The Coup, Sound Tribe Sector 9, Elbow,

The Walkmen, Wolf Eyes, Danger Mouse, Datsuns, Sparta,

Wheat, Mike Watt, The Dresden Dolls, Bumblebeez 81,

Mike Watt, The Dresden Dolls, Bumblebeez 81, Carina

Carina Round, Ross Golan and Molehead and Peretz. All

Round, The Living Things and Peretz.

right, there you go. Check it out!

11

052704buzz1011

5/26/04

5:21 PM

Page 1

buzzpicks

10calendar

calendar

Terminus Victor at Brass Rail

L

ocal band Terminus Victor will be at Champaign’s Brass Rail Friday along with Xolotl and Balisong. Terminus Victor is a permanent fixture

on Champaign-Urbana’s music scene. The two-man act delves into industrial, electronica and straight rock, all while evoking the aesthetic beauty of music. Electronica band Xolotl joins Victor at Brass Rail, as well as hard rock band Balisong. Check out the show. Music starts at 10 p.m.

the

Windy City

gets the

blues I

n a couple weeks, head north to the city for the Chicago Blues Festival June 10-13. Every year,

The

boys

are

rhythm and blues talent, both old and new, packs

back

any Braid fans have only one regret — not

M

The tour starts at Highdive Thursday at 9 p.m.

ever seeing them perform. This week, Braid

Performing with Braid are Minus the Bear, Murder

awakens from their four-year coma, kicking off

by Death and The Reputation. Tickets are $12.

their reunion tour by performing two shows in

Those fans not yet of age can see Braid Friday at

Champaign-Urbana. Such a reunion has been

Caffe Paradiso in Urbana at 7 p.m. Minus the

talked and dreamt about for years, but many

Bear, Murder by Death and The Silent Treatment

thought it would never happen. After forming in

will also rock the Intelligentsia at the cafe.

1993, Braid rocked the basement parties of C-U,

Thursday’s bands will travel up north for a show at

and then went on to national stardom in the indie-

The Metro in Chicago Saturday at 7 p.m. Tickets

rock community. After breaking up, lead vocalist

are $12. The band is promoting its Killing a

Chris Broach formed Firebird Band while guitarist

Camera DVD, which was released May 11. The

Bob Nanna, bass player Todd Bell and drummer

DVD features 75 minutes of interviews and unseen

Damon Atkinson rejoined to form Hey Mercedes.

footage from their last five shows in 1999.

the festival. Blues greats Otis Clay, Nora Jean Bruso, C.J. Chenier, and the Fat Possum Caravan will all return to the stages at this year’s festival.

For more classic blues music, catch blues veterans Robert Junior Lockwood, David “Honeyboy” Edwards and Homesick James this year. Ronnie Baker Brooks and Wayne Baker Brooks, sons of legend Lonnie Brooks, will take the stage to celebrate their father’s 70th birthday. All in all, more than 70 performers will take to the six stages each festival day at noon. Music lasts til around 9:30 p.m. each day.

Lollapalooza tickets

T

ickets are on sale for this year’s Lollapalooza. The fes-

on

tival comes to town July 29 and 30 at Chicago’s

sale!

Tweeter Center and August 1 and 2 in Indianapolis. You can buy one- or two-day passes. Prices range from $40 to $60. Alright, here goes…

First

day

lineup:

Second

day

lineup:

String Cheese Incident, The Flaming Lips, Michael Franti

Morrissey, Sonic Youth, Modest Mouse, Le Tigre, Black

and Spearhead, Gomez, Polyphonic Spree, TV on the

Rebel Motorcycle Club, Von Bondies, Broken Social Scene,

Radio, The Thrills, The Coup, Sound Tribe Sector 9, Elbow,

The Walkmen, Wolf Eyes, Danger Mouse, Datsuns, Sparta,

Wheat, Mike Watt, The Dresden Dolls, Bumblebeez 81,

Mike Watt, The Dresden Dolls, Bumblebeez 81, Carina

Carina Round, Ross Golan and Molehead and Peretz. All

Round, The Living Things and Peretz.

right, there you go. Check it out!

11

12

5/26/04

5:27 PM

Page 1

calendar

WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com | MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004

ThursdayMay27

SaturdayMay29

LIVE MUSIC

LIVE MUSIC

Acoustic Music Series: Hardly Portland – Aroma, 8pm, free Braid, Minus the Bear, Murder By Death, The Reputation – Highdive, 9pm, $12 Country Connection – Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Kottonmouth Kings, OPM, Judge D – Canopy Club, 10pm, $15 The Midnight Special: Synesthesia – Cowboy Monkey, midnight, free

Country Connection – Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Mike Ingram, Adam Wolfe, Larry Gates – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 Candy Foster and Shades of Blue – Tommy G's, 10pm, cover Mighty Groove Trio – Embassy Tavern, TBA, free X-Krush – Wolfe’s in Pana, 9pm, TBA Jeff Helgesen & Rachael Lee – Alto Vineyards, 811pm, $3

KARAOKE

DJ

DJ

DJ J-Phlip – house – Barfly, 9pm, free DJ Stifler – ‘80s hair bands – Tommy G's, 9pm, free DJ Delayney – Nargile, 10pm, $5 DJ Bozak – Boltini, 10:30pm, free

DJ Resonate – hip-hop – Barfly, 9pm, free House Party: DJ Mertz, DJ J-Phlip – house – Nargile, 10pm, $5 DJ Tim Williams – Highdive, 10pm, $5 “Soulful Saturdays” w/ DJ Phokiss, Chill Will, DJ World – Watusi Lounge, free before 11pm DJ Limbs – Boltini, 10pm, free

Crystal River – Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Adam Wolfe, Jess Greenlee – acoustic – Tommy G's, 10pm, free Brendon Kibbee Trio – The Iron Post, 9pm, TBA

SPOKEN WORD The Northstar Lounge hosted by CZAR Absolute of Animate Objects – hip-hop/spoken word poetry set/open mic – Nargile, 10:30pm, $5

KARAOKE

KARAOKE “G” Force Karaoke/DJ – Sappy’s on Devenshire, 9pm, TBA

MUSIC PERFORMANCE Community Drum Circle – Ten Thousand Villages, 7-9pm, free “G” Force Karaoke and DJ – Wendl’s, after softball until 2am, TBA

TuesdayJune01 LIVE MUSIC

DJ 2ON2OUT – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free NOX DJ ZoZo – Highdive, 10pm, $2 DJ J-Phlip – Boltini, 10:30pm, free

DANCING

"G" Force Karaoke/DJ – Pia's in Rantoul, 9pm, TBA

Latin Dance Night – salsa, cha-cha, merengue, bachata – McKinley Foundation, 9:30-11:30pm, $1

AROUND TOWN

KARAOKE

Wine Tasting – sample and/or buy for $3.50 per glass – Krannert Center Interlude lobby bar, 5pm, free

FridayMay28 LIVE MUSIC Bryan Holloway Trio – Cowboy Monkey, 5pm, free The Prairie Dogs – bluegrass – Tommy G's, 5-7pm, free Braid, Minus the Bear, Murder by Death, The Silent Treatment – Caffe Paradiso, 7pm, $15 Acoustic Show: Larry Gates, Gabe Rosen – Embassy Tavern, 8:30pm, free Country Connection – Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Terminus Victor, Xolotl, Balisong – Brass Rail, 10pm, cover Jamnation – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 Jeff Helgesen – The Iron Post, 5-7pm, TBA Gypsi SarI – reggae – Nargile, 10pm, $8 160 Proof – southern/classic rock – Tommy G's, 10pm, cover

DJ DJ Bozak – hip-hop – Barfly, 9pm, free DJ Tim Williams – Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ J-Phlip – Boltini, 10pm, free

KARAOKE “G” Force Karaoke – Urbana American Legion, 8pm-1am, TBA

SundayMay30

“G” Force Karaoke/DJ – Neil Street Pub, 8pm-12am, free

LIVE MUSIC Crystal River – Rose Bowl Tavern, 8:30pm, free Two Rivers – The Iron Post, 9pm, TBA

DJ

WednesdayJune02

Lil' Big Bass – drum ‘n bass – Barfly, 9pm, free Hit It Run 5: Old Skool Party feat. DJ Resonate, DJ Bozak, DJ Kosmo – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free DJ Bozak – Boltini, 10:30pm, free

LIVE MUSIC

KARAOKE

DJ

“G” Force Karaoke and DJ – Wendl’s, after softball until 2am, TBA

MondayMay31 LIVE MUSIC Kylesa, Rye Field Crane, Hollowed Out, Rujina – Red Herring, 8pm, $5 Open Mic w/host Brandon T. Washington – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Adam Wolfe – solo acoustic – Bentley’s Pub, TBA Chicago show: Idle Hours – Empty Bottle, TBA, free

DJ Lil' Big Bass – drum ‘n bass – Nargile, free DJ Bozak – Boltini, 10:30pm, free

BOB ’N DAVE

BY DAVID KING

Hard Poor Korn – Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Kilborn Alley – blues – Tommy G's, 9pm, free Country Roads and TBA – The Iron Post, 9pm, TBA She-Jays: DJ J-Phlip, DJ Lil' Big Bass – house, drum 'n bass, 2-Step – Highdive, 9pm, $2 Salsateca! with DJ Bris Mueller – salsa, mambo, bachata – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Fabulous! – Nargile, 10pm, $3 DJ Limbs – Boltini, 10:30pm, free

KARAOKE “Liquid Courage Karaoke” – Fat City Saloon, 8pm12am, TBA “G” Force Karaoke/DJ – TNT corner tavern in Rantoul, 8pm-12am

C-UVENUES Alto Vineyards 4210 N Duncan Rd, Champaign, 356-4784 Assembly Hall First & Florida, Champaign, 333-5000 American Legion Post 71 107 N Broadway, Urbana, 367-3121 Barfly 120 N Neil, Champaign,352-9756

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Barnes and Noble 51 E Marketview, Champaign, 355-2045 Boardman’s Art Theater 126 W Church, Champaign, 351-0068 Boltini Lounge 211 N Neil, Champaign, 378-8001 Borders Books & Music 802 W Town Ctr, Champaign, 351-9011 The Brass Rail 15 E University, Champaign, 352-7512 Canopy Club (Garden Grill) 708 S Goodwin, Urbana, 367-3140 Channing-Murray Foundation 1209 W Oregon, Urbana C.O. Daniels 608 E Daniel, Champaign, 337-7411 Cosmopolitan Club 307 E John, Champaign, 367-3079 Courtyard Cafe Illini Union, 1401 W Green, Urbana, 333-4666 Cowboy Monkey 6 Taylor St, Champaign, 398-2688 Clybourne 706 S Sixth, Champaign, 383-1008 Curtis Orchard 3902 S Duncan Rd, Champaign, 359-5565 D.R. Diggers 604 S Country Fair Dr, Champaign, 356-0888 Elmer’s Club 45 3525 N Cunningham, Urbana, 344-3101 Embassy Tavern & Grill 114 S Race, Urbana, 384-9526 Esquire Lounge 106 N Walnut, Champaign, 398-5858 Fallon’s Ice House 703 N Prospect, Champaign, 398-5760 Fat City Saloon 505 S Chestnut, Champaign, 356-7100 The Great Impasta 114 W Church, Champaign, 359-7377 G.T.’s Western Bowl Francis Dr, Champaign, 359-1678 Highdive 51 Main, Champaign, 359-4444 Huber’s 1312 W Church, Champaign, 352-0606 Illinois Disciples Foundation 610 E Springfield, Champaign, 352-8721 Independent Media Center 218 W Main St, Urbana, 344-8820 The Iron Post 120 S Race, Urbana, 337-7678 Joe’s Brewery 706 S Fifth, Champaign, 384-1790 Kam’s 618 E Daniel, Champaign, 328-1605 Krannert Art Museum 500 E Peabody, Champaign, 333-1861 Krannert Center for the Performing Arts 500 S Goodwin, Urbana,Tickets: 333-6280, 800-KCPATIX La Casa Cultural Latina 1203 W Nevada, Urbana, 333-4950 Lava 1906 W Bradley, Champaign, 352-8714 Legends Bar & Grill 522 E Green, Champaign, 355-7674 Les’s Lounge 403 N Coler, Urbana, 328-4000 Lincoln Castle 209 S Broadway, Urbana, 344-7720 Lowe’s Big Barrel & Summer Club 14 N Hazel, Danville, 442-8090 Malibu Bay Lounge North Route 45, Urbana, 328-7415 Mike n’ Molly’s 105 N Market, Champaign, 355-1236 Mulligan’s 604 N Cunningham, Urbana, 367-5888 Murphy’s 604 E Green, Champaign, 352-7275 Nargile 207 W Clark St, Champaign Neil Street Pub 1505 N Neil, Champaign, 359-1601 The Office 214 W Main, Urbana, 344-7608 Parkland College 2400 W Bradley, Champaign, 351-2528 Phoenix 215 S Neil, Champaign, 355-7866 Pia’s of Rantoul Route 136 E, Rantoul, 893-8244 Pink House Routes 49 & 150, Ogden, 582-9997 The Rainbow Coffeehouse 1203 W Green, Urbana, 766-9500 Red Herring/Channing-Murray Foundation 1209 W Oregon, Urbana, 344-1176 Rose Bowl Tavern 106 N Race, Urbana, 367-7031 Springer Cultural Center 301 N Randolph, Champaign, 355-1406 Spurlock Museum 600 S Gregory, Urbana, 333-2360 The Station Theatre 223 N Broadway, Urbana, 384-4000 Strawberry Fields Cafe 306 W Springfield, Urbana, 328-1655 Sweet Betsy’s 805 S Philo Rd, Urbana Ten Thousand Villages 105 N Walnut, Champaign, 352-8938 TK Wendl’s 1901 S Highcross Rd, Urbana, 255-5328 Tommy G’s 123 S Mattis Ave, Country Fair Shopping Center, 359-2177 Tonic 619 S Wright, Champaign, 356-6768 Two Main 2 Main, Champaign, 359-3148 University YMCA 1001 S Wright, Champaign, 344-0721 Verde/Verdant 17 E Taylor St, Champaign, 366-3204 Virginia Theatre 203 W Park Ave, Champaign, 356-9053 White Horse Inn 112 1/2 E Green, Champaign, 352-5945 Zorba’s 627 E Green, Champaign

CHICAGOSHOWS

buzz

LORETTA LYNN Van Lear Rose ★★★★

BY JACOB DITTMER

Columbia Records

Interscope Records

★★★ Country music is in a sad state of affairs.

Modern country is championed by two types: sexy pop singer types like Shania Twain and flag waving jingoists like Toby Keith telling us that we’re not truly American if we don’t support our commander in chief. Last time I checked country music was founded in the folk movement of backwoods America. Classic country was born from those in poverty in underdeveloped and non-urban landscapes that had little trust or interest in the international affairs of our government. Daughters of coal miners for instance.

Loretta Lynn knows the life of a country singer and what country music is supposed to sound like.

She is the coal miner’s daughter as her autobiography and biopic film of the same name detailed her life and entrance to country music. She has now recorded a pseudo-”comeback” album that sounds more country than anything coming from mainstream Nashville.

In a surprising move, Jack White (poster boy for “new garage” rock and Rolling Stone’s cover fodder) offered his talents to Lynn as producer and arranger of Van Lear Rose. No matter how hard we try to dislike White for his saturation of the music media, he is making some really good music outside what one would expect, first Cold Mountain now this. Nicely played Jack White.

Lynn was a voice of the 60s country sound and now much like the late Johnny Cash, she has tapped into creating some timeless country music that appeals to both the young and the old. She keeps the lyrics biographic on tracks like “Story of My Life” and “Van Lear Rose.” Themes of family, love, country life and even a song about women’s prison hearken back to the traditional country sound.

The album sound is loose but tight. White was said to have recorded much of the songs with only

BY KYLE B. GORMAN

They say that the Appalachian range in eastern America is one of the oldest mountain ranges in the entire world. Perhaps a better word than “old” would be “timeless.”

“Timeless” is also an adjective that works well to illustrate the work of the Stanley Brothers. As opposed to the progressive, demanding sound of Bill Monroe’s blistering instrumental work, the Stanley’s played out of a bluegrass tradition that recalls its mountain origins. For the first time, with the release of An Evening Long Ago, originally a radio broadcast from 1956, the listener is able to experience the sound of these two legends coming over the wireless.

The impression this recording makes is much different from the bluegrass the listener commonly hears. The pace is largely mid-tempo, and the songs are just that: songs…and quite often, stories. Before one track, Carter explains that, in fact, the sad tale of a murder, which they are about to sing, really did happened. One can imagine Bruce Springsteen, with his folky sensibilities and his penchant for narratives, easily fancying such likable work. Coen Brothers junkies (and your dad and mom) may recognize Carter’s sloping voice from the climax of O Brother, Where Art Thou? At the climax of the film, Carter intoned George Clooney’s death anthem (the traditional “O Death”) in a manner that can only be described as “haunting.” Carter’s voice is so sincere and, conversely, so cold. He holds, caresses, and makes love to every phrase, but at the same time without any sign of stress, either emotionally or vocally.

The Stanley Brothers bring pop art to the bluegrass song, deconstructing the sound around them to let the song speak for itself, much in the way that

modern artists dissected the rock song in the late 80s. This isn’t the sort of jazz chops-influenced bluegrass peddled to you by your friendly hippy buddy, but a work full of emotional investment by the performers. The broadcast consisted of Carter and Ralph (on guitar and banjo, respectively) accompanied only by the occasional fiddle and mandolin.The two backup instruments provide a sort of landscape of train tracks and hills through which the two brothers may roam.The absence of bass has a curious effect. Rather than the rhythmic thump many of us associate with bluegrass, the lower register is left empty. The clarity and simplicity it provides is another level of artistry on this recording.

At times, the Stanley’s aren’t afraid to kick their shoes off, as they do in Ralph’s instrumental tribute to the larger-than-life railroad worker “John Henry.”

Elsewhere, listeners can enjoy a rare Ralph Stanley vocal take on “Come All You Tenderhearted.”

Overall, this is an essential listen for fans of oldtimey music, and also an interesting foray into the traditional sound for those interested in the more modern, sometimes revisionist work of today’s bluegrass.

NELLIE MCKAY Get Away From Me Columbia

★★★

BY SUSIE AN

Maybe there’s something about a brighteyed, cherry-lipped girl with her arms outstretched to the sky that makes you want to pass over what you think is just another pop album. But then with a title like Get Away From Me and the little Parental Advisory label in the corner, you think twice about the selection.

Nellie McKay at only 19-years-old is certainly not what she seems. She looks like sugary-sweetness. She sounds like sugary-sweetness. But really she’s full of sarcasm, wit and a bit of anger.

In the line of young talents bursting the scene with their pop voices and pianos, Nellie McKay stands out among them. She’s got a powerful voice that goes from soft to rich to tough, unlike certain pop singers whose voices go from baby cooing to baby cooing.

Get Away From Me is an eclectic collection of sounds. It’s like a soundtrack to a musical—a snippet of rap, some dance beats and lots of jazz. Her sound is reminiscent of Dusty Springfield back in the day.

This double disc album is full of political and social commentary, which is rather ambitious for a debut album.

But some songs have the sound of trying too hard to prove something. McKay claims to have been antisocial in her short lived college years and identifies more with downtown New York drunks rather than her own peers. She claims that this has something to do with her music, but I’m willing to say no one cares.

I guess I’d have to say the rappish songs like “Sari” are bearable to alright, but generally not as good as

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songs like the rainy day jazz of “Manhattan Avenue” and the Marilyn Monroe gone murderous melody of “Won’t U Please B Nice.”

Where McKay is good, she’s really good. And where she isn’t, she’s alright.

Overall, the album is a promising debut, but you’ll want to keep your finger ready to skip over a few songs.

CHARTS PARASOL RECORDS TOP 10 SELLERS 1. Unbunny - Snow Tires (Hidden Agenda) 2. Morrissey - You Are The Quarry (Sanctuary) 3. timewellspent - timewellspent (Parasol) 4. The Green Pajamas - Essence Of Carol (Recordhead) 5. The Blackouts - Living In Blue (Lucid) 6. Blonde Redhead - Misery Is a Butterfly (4AD) 7. Nanook Of The North - The Täby Tapes (Hidden Agenda) 8. The Like Young - So Serious (Parasol) 9. Secret Machines - Now Here Is Nowhere (Warner Bros.)

10. Tommy Keene - Drowning (Not Lame)

NEW RELEASES (JUNE 1) Melissa Ferrick - The Other Side The Like Young - So Serious Louque - So Long Baha Men - Holla Tangerine Dream - Dream Mixes 4

COMING SOON Wilco (June 22) Sonic Youth (June 8) The Roots (June 29)

MUSIC REVIEW GUIDE

★★★★ ★★★ ★★ ★ No stars

Flawless Good Mediocre Bad Unlistenable

The Hurly-Burly Sifting through the commotion and crap of music culture Beach Boy Brian Wilson is set to release his legendary lost masterpiece, Smile, via Nonesuch Records on Sept. 28. Contrary to previous reports, the album will be an allnew, re-recorded version of the tracks, rather than the original 1966-1967 masters.

The definitive edition of the LP is being recorded at Los Angeles’s Sunset Sound Studios with original collaborator Van Dyke Parks.

JUNE 6/2 P.O.D. @ Riviera, all-ages 6/4 Patty Loveless @ Center for Performing Arts 6/4 Montgomery Gentry @ Star Plaza 6/4 Scissor Sisters @ Double Door

a few takes in the tradition of country’s early sound.

Rollicking honky-tonk country is a favorite of some tracks, while others focus on a mellowed slide and acoustic guitars. Lynn’s lyrics are the focus of many songs with the band’s sound taking a back seat to her iconic voice of country. Hints of Appalachian folk come through on some tracks while the influence of southern blues is apparent on others such as,“Have Mercy.”

Lynn’s vocals go from playful tales of drinking to contemplative nostalgic family stories giving the album noticeable variety. The music travels just as much, but White’s production manages to keep the album together offering few throwaway tracks. An air of a good country jam permeates much of the album that maintains cohesion. This 70-year-old country legend has found an unlikely partner in young upand-comer White and together the two made some of the finest country music one can buy today.

THE STANLEY BROTHERS An Evening Long Ago

MAY 5/27 Ellen Allien @ Smart Bar 5/27 Reverend Billy C. Wirtz @ FitzGerald’s 5/27 Matthew Dear @ Sonotheque 5/28 Acid Mothers Temple @ Abbey Pub, 18+ 5/28 Stills @ Metro, 18+ 5/28 Dale Watson @ FitzGerald’s 5/28 Anthrax @ Oasis 160, all-ages 5/28 Hepcat @ House of Blues, all-ages 5/29 Apollo Sunshine @ Schubas 5/29 Braid @ Metro 5/29 Unsane @ Double Door 5/29 Charlie Hunter Trio @ Old Town School of Folk Music 5/29 Dark Lotus @ Riviera, all-ages 5/29 Business, Nekromantix & Others @ House of Blues, all ages 5/29-30 MOE., Leftover Salmon, Umphrey’s McGee, Jazz Mandolin Project @ Three Sisters Park 5/30 Hot Club of 52nd Street @ Old Town School of Folk Music 5/31 Richard Buckner @ Schubas

music

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004 | NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY, IT’S HARD TO HATE JACK WHITE

CDReviews

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The Hives will launch a North American summer tour on July 20 coinciding with the release date of their as-yet untitled

follow-up to Veni Vidi Vicious via Interscope Records. They will be supported by Sahara Hotnights and The Reigning Sound. The tour will end August 4.

Jawbox’ss out-of-print albums for Atlantic Records, For Your Own Special Sweetheart and the band’s final self-titled album are due for re-release this year on Desoto Records. Desoto, owned by former Jawbox members Kim Colletta and Bill Barbot, will also release the debut E.P. of Channels, the latest project by former Jawbox and Burning Airlines frontman J.Robbins.

What the hell?

Moment of the week Rumor has it that legendary horror director George A. Romero (Night of the Living Dead) is in the works to direct Diamond Dead, the story of a rock band which comes back from the dead all zombie-style. The film is set to be composed by Richard Hartley of The Rocky Horror Picture Show fame. Musicians being considered for roles include David Bowie, Gwen Stefani, Ozzy Osbourne, and (wait for it) Marilyn Manson in the role of Jesus Christ. Umm … wow.

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HE’S GOOD, MR. LEBOWSKI, AND THOROUGH | MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004 buzz

First day back

Former members of C-U’s Braid reunite for one last national tour

A

PHOTO | COURTESY OF INVISIBLE YOUTH PR (NATHAN KEAY)

lmost like a phoenix rising from the ashes, Braid has resurrected from the dust of Champaign-Urbana’s 1999 music scene.

Some thought it would never happen. And while it is most unlikely that anyone will ever hear a “new” Braid album, for the next several months, people will at least have the chance to see the band live one last time before the members of Braid dissolve back into various musical projects.

The history of Braid begins in 1993 when Bob Nanna, Braid’s former/current vocalist and guitarist, met Roy Ewing, Braid’s former drummer, as undergraduates at the University of Illinois. Braid released several albums, played a number of shows and said hello and farewell to a number of band members until finally settling down with their former/current lineup. Braid’s 2004 reunion tour will include Bob Nanna on vocals and guitar, Chris Broach on vocals and guitar, Todd Bell on bass guitar, and Damon Atkinson on drums. Although Roy Ewing served many faithful years with Braid, he had to bid farewell due to job and time constraints.

The tour kicks off in the town where it all started: Champaign. As festivities begin and nostalgia sparks, the question of “why” will no

doubt be lurking in the minds of many showgoers.

Talk of a reunion was something mentioned in passing between ex-Braid members, according to Broach. Braid’s fan base grew even after they had called it quits. Because those aftermath fans never saw a single Braid show, the members thought maybe it was time to regroup. The tour is also a good opportunity for Braid to promote the new DVD which has added songs, interviews and commentary unlike the previously released video, Broach said.

Braid last toured in 1998. For about nine months, the band traveled around together in a van playing show after show and spending almost all their time together.

“There were so many stressors and so many things there. For us to remain a band, we would have had to take a break,” Broach said.

However, Broach said the band felt that it was just time to finish and split. They had come to a point where they could do no more with each other.

“Musically, we worked pretty well, but there were just things I wanted to experiment with that they didn’t, and there were things that they wanted to experiment with that maybe I didn’t necessarily want to do either,” Broach said.

After the breakup, Nanna, Bell and Atkinson rejoined to form Hey Mercedes with the help of Mike Shumaker of Sheilbound.

Braid members (from left) Todd Bell, Bob Nanna, Damon Atkinson and Chris Broach reunite and tour.

Broach went his own way to run his label, Lucid Records, and to work on a number of projects including Firebird Band and Life at Sea. “What happened was we all broke up,” Broach said. “Those guys ended up gravitating back together. I think I was doing my own thing, and maybe we were growing apart from each other.”

While emotions are steady between the current members on the 2004 tour, it was the little things that caused a bit of tension for the breakup.

Murder by Death (top) and “You get annoyed Minus the Bear (right). with someone’s hello because you’re in a van for fucking eight months saying the same fucking thing every time,” Broach said.

Although the members went their separate ways, Broach said he likes Hey Mercedes.

Their sound is much poppier than Braid’s, but they do what they do well, he said.

“They’re just more pop-sensible when they write songs,” he said. “Some of the stuff I’ve heard from them rocks a little bit harder than some of (Braid’s) stuff. I like the rock aspect of Hey Mercedes.”

Tension and stress has simmered, and the first rehearsals went well, Broach said, adding that things have been coming together without a hint of awkwardness.

“The rehearsals have been fun,” he said.

“But there were some parts where some of us were raising our arms saying, ‘I have no idea what to do here.’ But I think it takes a few times of just going through it.”

When they first formed, Braid used to hold rehearsals in Garner Hall where Nanna and Broach lived in their early college years.

Practices later moved to the basement of a house on West Springfield Avenue, which Broach said he drives by every time he visits Champaign.

Like old times, Braid will not only playing at Highdive, but also a surprising date at Caffe Paradiso. Broach said the Paradiso show would be like playing the small basement shows in Champaign-Urbana, again.

“We wanted to try and do an all-ages show

Braid’s reunion tour kicks off Thursday, May 27 in Champaign before going nationwide.

Thursday, May 27 – Braid, Minus the Bear, Murder by Death and The Reputation at Highdive, starting at 9 p.m. $12 Friday, May 28 – all ages show with Braid, Minus the Bear, Murder by Death and The Silent Treatment at Caffe Paradiso, starting at 7 p.m. $15 Saturday, May 29 – Braid, Minus the Bear, Murder by Death and The Silent Treatment at The Metro in Chicago at 6 p.m. $12.

PHOTOS | COURTESY OF BAND WEBSITES

BY SUSIE AN | STAFF WRITER

that wasn’t 19 and over,” he said. “Paradiso can hold a certain amount of people. It’ll be fun for the kids who can get in.”

While Braid reunites, some of the non-Braid members of these other projects will help out in the reunion. Mike Shumaker, guitarist for Hey Mercedes, will be doing sound for the tour, and the road crew of Hey Mercedes will be acting as the road crew for Braid.

Things seem to be coming together for the band, but no one should be led to believe that this is a rekindling of the past.

“As far as we’re concerned, we’re going to be done after the tour,” Broach said. “We’re going to be going to Japan, and then that’s it.”

With much anticipation, many people await to see how the band will sound, and if they will have chemistry on stage. (There will be no new Braid songs, so stop asking.) Either way, Braid has re-assembled, and they’re jumping full force into the tour.

“It’s been a long time, and I haven’t played these songs at all until now. It’ll be pretty nostalgic for all of us in a good way,” he said.

Broach said he’s not looking forward to the exhaustion a tour brings or the little arguments that are likely to happen. However, he said he’ll be traveling with his friends and having fun.

“There are no heavy emotions happening around it this time,” Broach said. “I think I’m looking forward to getting on the road and playing kick-ass shows to people who are excited to see the shows.” buzz

calendar

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004 | WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com

6/4 Lucinda Williams, Miller Williams @ Rubloff Auditorium 6/4 Danger Mouse @ House of Blues, 18+ 6/4 Decemberists @ Metro, 18+ 6/4 Steve Forbert @ Schubas 6/5-6 Trans Am @ Empty Bottle; Bottom Lounge 6/5 Rush @ Tweeter Center 6/5 Mary Lou Lord @ Schubas 6/5 Fall Out Boy @ House of Blues, all-ages 6/5 Dido @ Chicago Theatre 6/10 Janet Bean & The Concertina Wire @ Schubas 6/11 Aquabats @ Metro, all-ages 6/11 James Brown @ House of Blues 6/11 MC5 @ Metro, 18+ 6/11 Jesse Malin @ Schubas 6/11 Dios @ Martyrs' 6/11 Sam Phillips @ Park West 6/11 Handsome Family @ Old Town School of Folk Music 6/11-12 Beulah @ Abbey Pub 6/12 Kenny Brown, Cedric Burnside, T-Model Ford @ House of Blues Back Porch Stage 6/12 Fetal Position @ Old Town School of Folk Music 6/12 Fleetwood Mac @ Tweeter Center 6/12 Franz Ferdinand @ Metro, all-ages 6/12 Marah @ Schubas 6/12 Maritime @ Bottom Lounge, 18+ 6/12 John P. Strohm @ Schubas 6/12 X-ecutioners @ Metro, 18+ 6/13 Cheryl Wheeler @ Old Town School of Folk Music 6/13 Richie Hawtin @ Smart Bar 6/13 Devendra Banhardt @ Bottom Lounge, 18+ 6/13 Blink 182, No Doubt @ Tweeter Center 6/14 Mclusky @ Schubas 6/15 Femi Kutl, Angelique Kidjo @ House of Blues, 18+ 6/15-16 Skinny Puppy @ Vic 6/17 David Byrne @ Skyline Stage 6/17 Grant-Lee Phillips, John Doe @ Park West, all-ages 6/18 B-52'S @ Vic, all-ages 6/18 Dave Matthews Band @ Tweeter Center 6/18-19 Shins @ House of Blues 6/19 Chicago, Earth, Wind & Fire @ Tweeter Center 6/22 Rachael Yamagata @ Schubas 6/24 Peter Himmelman & Band @ Park West, 18+ 6/24 Richard Thompson @ House of Blues 6/25 Taj Mahal & The Hula Blues Band @ House of Blues, 18+ 6/25 Jonathan Richman w/Tommy Larkins @ Double Door 6/25-26 & 28-29 Prince @ Allstate Arena 6/26 Primus @ UIC Pavilion 6/25-27 Magnetic Fields @ Old Town School of Folk Music 6/26 Brother Ali @ Abbey Pub, 18+ 6/26 Mum @ Logan Square Auditorium, all-ages

6/27 Leon Russell @ Abbey Pub 6/28-29 Pedro the Lion @ Abbey Pub, 18+ 6/30 Los Lobos @ Park West, 6/30, (rescheduled from 4/30)

ART NOTICES Art Classes by Sandra Ahten:“Art With Intention” – 2-hour drop-in time, Thur 3-9 pm. $95 for 5 sessions. spiritofsandra@hotmail.com or 367-6345.

Faux Finishing workshops – Boyer Drawing & Painting Studio in Lincoln Square Mall. June 16 & Aug 25. 9am-5pm. Fee: $195. Info: 369-8838 or www.boyerdrawing.com.

Creation Art Studios – On-going after-school art classes for children. Morning, evening and weekend studio sessions for adults. 1102 E Washington St, U. www.creationartstudios.com. 344-6955.

Reflection and Creation Art Worshop/Retreats – Workshops at Creation Art Studios with artist Jeannine Bestoso. Snacks. Pre-register. Fee: $50.

9am-1pm – June 13, July 18. Four CPDU’s offered.

344-6955, www.creationartstudios.com, jbestos@msn.com.

ART EXHIBITS Cafe Kopi – Work from Melissa Washburn on display. 109 N Walnut, C. M-Thu 7am-11pm, Fri-Sat 7am-12pm, Sun 11am-8pm. 359-4266.

Creation Art Studios Gallery – Artwork by director Jeannine Bestoso, associates and students on display. New hours: M-Sat, 1-5:30pm and other scheduled times. 1102 E Washington, U. www.creationartstudios.com. 344-6955.

Greasey Creek Oaks Gallery – 8 E Main St, Oakland.

Wed-Sat, 9am-4pm. 346-2986.

Laser’s Edge – Oil paintings and framed etchings by Sandra Ahten, and work by Lee Boyer now showing. 218 W Main St, U. M-F 9am-5pm. 328-3343.

Old Vic Art Gallery – Fine and original art. 11 E University, C. Mon-Thu 11am-5:30pm, Sat 11am4:30pm. 355-8338.

“Healing Works” – On display at the Independent Media Center Middle Room Gallery. 218 W Main St, Suite 110, U. carahale@uiuc.edu.

“Prints and Pots” – Printmaking by Lawrence Hamlin and pottery by Louis Ballard. Runs thru June 13. Springer Cultural Center. M-F 8am-9pm, Sat 9am-5pm, Sun 12-5pm. 398-2376. www.champaignparkdistrict.com “Unlimited Visions: Interpreted Images by Larry Kanfer” – Larry Kanfer Gallery. 2503 S Neil, C. Free.

M-Sat 10am-5:30pm. 398-2000. www.kanfer.com.

CROSSWORD P 18

A gallery of distinct fine American Arts and Crafts HOURS: Tuesday-Saturday 10am-5pm Sunday 12pm-4pm or by appointment

415 E. Main Street, Mahomet 217-590-2800

D E B B I E

I N L U C K

S T A T U E

B E N T

A R C H I M W E S K I E D P U L S E U R L S D O H S U P E N A M E D T W O P H H A R A S

R O S A N N A S I E R R A S

S E N T S H E O R Y N E S D U R B O O P S E E D

E L I J A H O H W O W

M I N U T I A A P P L A U D

I C E S

R I F T

A T O M I E Z X S E T E R R E A M E E X X X T R I R A C A Y O

presents

One Book One City One Show

A Showcase of Ten Emerging Local Aritsts New Artistic talents with new points of view continually N Especial refresh our freedom of expression. In this E B S and art experts exhibition, ten nationally recognized HAartists T I have chosen one H emerging IB local artist from our X E community to ISshowcase. This exhibit is curatedby Jenny H T Southlynn and co-sponsored by IRPH, and will be open

D E EL

C N CA

Monday throught Friday from 8:3 0 a.m. to 5 :00 p.m.

“Changing Rooms: The Creation of Cinematic Space in the Works of Harry Horner” – Krannert Art Museum, display thru Sept 19. 500 E Peabody, U. Tu, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, W 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm.

Sugg Don: $3.

Home of Tangora Designs and Farmboy Artworks

CU READING

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R E L E A S E S

E D D M A D E

I N V A I N

S T I L L E

May 17-August 15th IRPH Humanties Lecture Hall 805 W. Pennysylvania Ave. Urbana

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WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com | MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004

“Conscious Living Through Nature” – Works from Lisa Billman on display thru June 20.

Aroma. 118 N Neil, C. Open 7 days a week, 7am-12am.

356-3200.

Parkland Student Graphic Design Juried Exhibition – The Parkland College Student Graphic Design Juried Exhibition. On display thru June 17. Parkland Art Gallery. M-Thur, 10am-2pm, Tu & Thur, 68pm. 351-2485.

“Enigma and Intimacy The Photography of David Nolan” – On display at Verde’s Gallery Two thru June 12. 17 E Taylor St, C. Cafe hours: Mon-Sat 7am-10 pm; Gallery Hours: Tue-Sat 10am-10pm. 366-3204.

“Gestural Curiosities” – Drawings by Jodi Bowen and Ceramics by Ella Brown Dunn on display at Verde in the Main Gallery thru June 12. 17 E Taylor St, C. Cafe hours: Mon-Sat 7am-10 pm; Gallery Hours: Tue-Sat 10am-10pm. 366-3204.

“Supply & Demand” – David Griffin display ends May 29. New work by Ron Kovatch, Alex Fekete, Peggy Shaw, William Baker, and Charles Mercer. Cinema Gallery, 120 W Main, U. Tu-Sun, 10am-4pm. 367-3711.

EVENTS Soul Strut 2004 Family Health Walk and Fair – The fair is in celebration of National Black Health and Fitness Month.

Douglass Branch Library.

Sat, 8am-1pm. 351-2597.

Bloomsday Centennial – Downtown Champaign will join in this year’s celebration with word, dance and song on June 19. Info: David Gehrig at zemblan@earthlink.net, Lisa Boucher at lisa@fpmrecords.com, fpmrecords.com/events/bloo msday.html.

Dump and Run garage sale collection – Coll. dates: Now-June 5, M-F, 9am-3:30pm; June 5, 9am-4pm; July 10, 8am4pm; Aug 2-10, M-Sat, 9am-3:30pm. Info: Aimee, 337-1500 or www.universityymca.org.

WORKSHOPS Border Crossers Discussion Group – The group will discuss the book Waiting for Snow in Havana by Cuban Author Carlos M. Eire. Borders Bookstore. Thur, 7pm.

351-9011.

PHONE: 217/337-8337 DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion.

• All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time.

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• Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment.

• All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student.

• This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

DEADLINE:

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

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Employment 000 HELP WANTED | Part Time Help Wanted for organic vegetable farm. Thursdays and Fridays. 6432031.

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished 1005 S. SECOND, C Efficiencies. Fall 2004. Secured building. Private parking. Laundry on site, ethernet available. Phone 3523182. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com

HELP WANTED | Full / Part Time Geovantis. 401 E Green. Help wanted. Experienced bartenders and servers. Apply within.

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES Put your PC to work. $25-$75 an hour, part-time, full-time. Full training provided. Call 800-810-4582. www.dreamsneverending.com

Apartments

400

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished | Unfurnished 1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $585 3 bedrooms $750 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking.

Fall 04, 367-6626

105 E. CLARK

Avail Aug 2004. Attractive modern loft apts. Dishwasher disposal, window a/c, ceiling fans, patio/ balconies, carpet, laundry, parking, 2nd floor skylights. Rent starts from $435/mo. $50/month to furnish.

Apts. shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

609 W. MAIN, U

Renting Aug 2004. Quiet building in nice Urbana neighborhood. 2 bedroom apts Furnished $525/mo. Parking optional, Central A/C, Carpet, laundry facilities. Gas Heat. Daily showings, 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com Large 3 bedroom, duplex, clean, quiet, well-maintained.

Hardwood floors, responsible owner, near IMPE, Champaign. $900/month.

Available mid-August. 684-2226.

706 S. WALNUT, U

1006 S. 3RD, C. Aug 2004. Location, location. One bedrooms for fall. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com

1006 W. STOUGHTON, U.

Very close to Engineering campus.

Avail for Aug 2004. Masonry construction.

2 bedrooms from $620/mo. Window A/C, Carpet, Parking $25/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

102 N. GREGORY, U.

August 2004. Close to Illini Union. 2 bedrooms at $500/mo. Carpet, Gas Heat, Laundry. Parking available at $30/mo. 7 days a week showings.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com.

104 E. ARMORY Location!!

4 bedroom, 2 bath www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

105 E. John 1 bedroom furnished, great location.

Includes parking. www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

201 N. LINCOLN, U

August 2004 rental. 2 bedroom apt at $500/mo. Close to campus with parking, ceiling fans, laundry, carpet/tile floors. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

307 W. Elm, U.

Renting for August 2004. Quiet neighborhood. 1 bedroom apts. from $475/mo. Gas heat, central a/c, laundry facilities. Parking included.

To furnish $50/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Availble August ‘04. 1 bedroom apts in quiet Urbana neighborhood. Hardwood floors. Window A/C, forced heat. Parking avail. Rents from $410/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

Barr Real Estate 356-1873 www. barr-re.com

Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus for January. $550 per month.

367-6626.

Avail for Aug 2004. Large furnished efficiencies close to Beckman Center. Rent starts at $325/mo. Parking avail at $30/mo. Window A/C, carpet. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Courtyard Apartments 713 S. Randolph, Champaign Renting for Fall/2 & 3 Bedrooms.

Furnished & Unfurnished From $608/mo.

Includes cable, parking, water.

Has laundry facility and seasonal pool. Near campus and downtown Champaign.

352-8540, 355-4608 pm. www.faronproperties.com

311 E. WHITE, C.

508 E White Spacious 2 & 3 BR, nicely furnished apt. Resident Manager Kenny James. Maintenance, no hassle. www.ugroup96.com 359-7297 493-0429 509 E. White, C. Aug. 2004. Large 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Phone 352-3182.

Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished 604 E. White, C. Security Entrance For Fall 2004, Large 1 & 2 bedroom furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available.

Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com

702 W. WESTERN, U.

Aug 2004. 1 bedrooms with window a/c, carpet/tile floors, boiler heat, laundry on site. Parking avail. Rents from $495/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

706 S. FIRST, C

Excellent Value for Aug 2004. Half block south of Green on First Street.

Large apts in security building. 2 bedrooms from $427/mo. Window A/C, Carpet, Hot water heat. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

805 S. LINCOLN, U.

Aug 2004. Great location. Attractive apts. Carpet, Ceiling fans, A.C. Efficiencies from $500/mo. 7 days a week showing.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

ARBOR APARTMENTS, C.

Avail August 2004. Located at Third and Gregory across from the Snack Bar. A block from IMPE. Large one bedroom apts. Well-maintained. One of the best bargains on campus.

Gas Heat, Carpet, Window A/C, Assigned Parking available. Laundry facilities available. Rents start at $405/mo. Apts shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

BUSEY & ILLINOIS, U.

Large apts in quiet Urbana location one block South of Green and one block East of Lincoln. Off street parking. 2 bedrooms now starting at $560/mo. Avail Aug 2004. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com ENGINEERING CAMPUS Large Studio APTS Fall 2004 307-310 E. White Secured Bldg., ethernet available UGroup96.com 352-3182 John Randolph Atrium Avail now for either semester or year lease. Rent a bedroom/bath close to Osco Drug on Randolph & John.

Starting at $300/mo. with basic utilities included. Call for showing.

Barr Real Estate, Inc. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com JOHN STREET APARTMENTS 58 E. John August 2004. Two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwashers, center courtyard, on-site laundry, central air, ethernet available.

Call Chad at 344-9157 352-3182 University Group www.ugroup96.com OLD TOWN CHAMPAIGN 510 S. Elm 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, dishwasher, W/D, central air/heat, off street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. $525/mo. 352-3182 or 841-1996. www.ugroup96.com

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished AVAILABLE NOW & SUMMER 307-309 Healey UGroup96.com 352-3182

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Unurnished 1 & 2 bedroom off-campus apartments in older homes. All utilities, parking, laundry included. Available now. 314, 316 S. State, 316 Cottage Court. 369-7205.

buzz

Other Rentals 500 ROOMS

903 W. NEVADA, U

Quality rooming house. Near Jimmy John’s on Lincoln Ave. Rooms avail for Aug. 2004. Rents from $260/mo to $330/mo. Laundry facilities, Common kitchen. Showing 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

HOUSES

115 W. WASHINGTON, U

Quality Properties Available August 10 On busline near campus. Off-street parking. Responsive management.

106 West Holmes, Urbana.

Large 3 BDR Ranch.

714 South State, Champaign.

Huge 2/3 BDR Duplex.

Photos at: http://www.pomp.com/rental.

Phone: 217-355-3841, lv. msg.

205 E. Stoughton, Champaign Great 3 bedroom apartment available for fall. Large living room, Central air/heat. Close to Engineering quad. $595/mo. www.theelectrumgroup.com (217)649-0761

ROOMMATES

Available Aug 2004. 1 bedroom apts. in quiet Urbana neighborhood.

Carpet, window a/c, laundry, boiler heat. Rents from $510/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

205 EAST HEALEY, C

Renting Aug 2004. Very large 1 bedroom apartments. Carpet, window A/C, parking available at $30/mo.

Rents start at $385/mo. Shown daily 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com 800 W. Church, C. Available now and through summer.

Economical 2 BR. $450/mo.

352-8540, 355-4608 pm, weekends. www.faronproperties.com Urbana. Two bdr. duplex apt. Appliances. W/D hook up. One car attached garage. On bus line. Available June 1. No pets. $550/month.

Call 643-2373.

Great quiet house needs roommates. Great amenities. $295$375/mo. Ben (217)637-6378 Regina- pareigis@uiuc.edu

NEGOTIABLE

4th and Gregory. Female. $200/mo.

202-9735.

Summer roommate wanted for luxurious furnished 2 bedroom, Presidential Towers. All utilities included, parking available. $400/mo. Call Sara 847-528-8996.

Announcements800

SUBLETS SUMMER ONLY

University Commons 1 bedroom fully furnished includes utilities: game room, fitness room, pool and jaccuzzi, computer lab, washer/ dryer. $600 for the summer.

Available now through Aug 7th. Call 309-333-1024 6-9 bedroom house on campus for fall 2004. 367-6626.

602 W. Michigan, U Avail 2004. 3 bedroom house with sunroom, washer & dryer, forced air heat. Rent $1,300/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com Lovely 4-5 bedroom house. Fireplace, oak French doors and floors.

A/C, parking, full basement, busline.

Randolph and White St., Champaign. Available 8/16/04. $1300/mo.

356-3232

HAMSTERS spend their entire lives walking on newspapers.

★★★

Peter Haining

BY BRANT GLAN | STAFF WRITER

W

hat can one say about a collection of short stories from some of Ireland’s most celebrated authors? Certainly, no book with contributions by James Joyce and Samuel Beckett could be considered a bad read. Great Irish Drinking Stories, a 333-page volume edited by Peter Haining, assumes the daunting task of providing readers with a cross-section of world literature that celebrates the pursuit of a good time above all things.

Indeed, scholars might argue that Joyce is “brazenly convoluted” or Beckett is “illegitimately intellectual,” but this volume does not merely focus on the Irish literary tradition as espoused by these two great writers. Simply put, this book strives to capture the essence of Irish revelry through several generations and permutations of its short story tradition.

Haining’s undertaking does not merely

BOOK REVIEW GUIDE

★★★★ ★★★ ★★ ★ No stars

Flawless Good Mediocre Bad Unreadable

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doing the same—both in his music and writing.

One need not be Irish or even of Irish lineage to appreciate this madcap jaunt through the public houses and countrysides of Erin.

As most of the works rely on allusions from other works in the authors’ catalogues, Haining prefaces each tale in his collection with a brief biography of the storyteller and a summary of his or her best known works.

Great Irish Drinking Stories should of course be read in its entirety in order to appreciate the intricacies of the drinking culture that Haining brings to light. However, the book could just as easily be enjoyed on a story-by-story basis. These stories weave the reader through a m e l a n c h o l y, h u m o ro u s a n d often mystical cultural world enjoyed by a few hardy souls lucky or unlucky to be called Irish. Great Irish Drinking Stories has earned a place on e v e r y coffee table in the E n g l i s h s p e a k i n g w o r l d — i f only for something to do in between drinks.

ARTIST’S CORNER

BY KATIE RICHARDSON | ARTS EDITOR

K

What inspires you?

I have a great deal of respect for someone like Evel Knievel because he wore a cape and he had the balls of a cougar. If you have the courage of your convictions to do what you want, regardless of what some may think, then I think half of your battle is already won. I don’t know if I have that yet, but I strive to thrive nine to five. I also like Rudyard Kipling.

In what environment do you like to work?

On the flip side of that courage coin, I think you have to be open to criticism, and not be

blindsided by stubborn arrogance. It’s difficult to make progress working inside a vacuum, if that’s even possible. I guess it’s important for me to be surrounded by people who share mutual goals and interests. That way I can bite their styles.

When did you start making comics?

My older brother and his best friend had a comic book company called Lightning Comics.

When they were 10 years old, and I was 7, they decided I was good enough to work for them, so they wrote me up a contract and I signed it. For all I know, I’m still obliged under that contract to this day.

Why did you choose these pieces?

I didn’t have much of a choice. These are the only two pieces I’ve ever done. Look out for my next installment in ‘08. Peace out.

Evolution has provided us with an opposable thumb, allowing us to recycle our newspapers so we never have to walk on them like our little furry friends.

Please recycle this newspaper.

ROOMS

Donate Your Used Cell Phone

Rooms from $285 per bedroom on campus. Available Now. 367-6626, 637-2111.

YWCA at the U of I 1001 S. Wright St. Champaign, IL 61820

Other Rentals 500

Great Irish Drinking Stories

offer 26 James Joyce facsimiles. This book celebrates all eras of authors from the Emerald Isle.

In fact, the most startling contribution in the volume comes in the second-to-last excerpt. This piece is possibly the shortest story in the volume and is written by Shane MacGowan, the lead singer of the Irish punk band The Pogues. “The Rocky Road to Dublin”—an excerpt from his 2001 book A Drink with Shane MacGowan— explains his vision of what The Pogues were trying to do musically, cross-breeding the Gaelic folk songs of their beloved homeland with the similarly Dionysian riffs of rock ‘n’ roll. This book is worth picking up if only to witness an Irish punk rebel in the same company as writers like James Joyce. Joyce celebrated the vernacular and drinking heritage of Ireland, and strangely enough, MacGowan seems to be

nut Bauer currently works at Art Coop on Green Street. He is a painter as well as a comic artist. He received a BFA in painting. He loves to watch movies and has a discerning and meticulous eye that allows him to see the humor and intricacies in both art and life.

Our most desirable location on U of I golf course. 1200 sq. ft, 2 bedroom, 2 bath, fireplace, study, dishwasher, W/D, A/C, covered parking, balcony/ patio. 359-3687 and 359-0065.

Lease, deposit, no pets.

Sublet: one of two bedrooms, furnished. Corner Lincoln/Main. $342.

Parking, laundry, internet. Joe 404606-0212, jmweinbe@uiuc.edu

bookreview

MISCELLANEOUS Guitar Lessons!!!

Samples at guitarteach.com, (217)398-1281. 18 years experience in pop, rock, classical, music-reading, theory, or learn your favorite songs.

arts

buzz MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004 | I BENT MY WOOKIE.

Cartoonist Knut Bauer

WORK COURTESY OF KNUT BAUER

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5/26/04

PHOTO | RODERCIK GEDEY

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arts

Tony Award preview

BY JEFF NELSON | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

E

COURTESY OF JEFF NELSON

very year since 1947, the American Theatre Wing has bestowed honors on Broadway shows that have achieved a level of excellence. They are the U.S. theater’s Oscars.

They are the Antoinette Perry or Tony Awards.

In that first year, there were only seven categories—no best play or musical until 1948 and 1949, respectively. OK, here is your theater trivia question: What were the first best play and best musical winners in l948 and 1949?

This year, there are 22 categories with up to five nominees in each category chosen by a selected nominating committee of 30. The membership of The American Theatre Wing is small compared to the Motion Picture Academy (about 10 percent of the size) and everyone is expected to see every nominated show or not vote in that category. Despite the seemingly New York-only appeal of these awards, they have aired on regional television since 1956 and national television since 1967.

Here is a quick look at the 2004 Tony Awards.

Best Play – A tough one and none are wellknown. Last year’s Pulitzer Prize winner, Anna in the Tropics is up against Frozen, The Retreat From Moscow and this year’s Pulitzer Prize winner I am My Own Wife.

Best Musical – Some gems here, although

Scene from one of this year's tony nominees, Avenue Q.

buzz

THAT’S WHERE I SAW THE LEPRACHAUN. HE TELLS ME TO BURN THINGS. | MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004 buzz

none is really famous yet. The outrageous Avenue Q is a satire on downward social movement among today’s recent college graduates.

It’s hard to hate a show whose major hit song is “It sucks to be me.” The Boy From OZ and Caroline or Change are up against co-favorite Wicked, which is The Wizard of Oz told from the witches point of view ... in music.

Some odds and ends about the other nominees – Former Tony and Pulitzer Prize winning playwright Tony Kushner is nominated twice for his first musical Caroline or Change. He wrote the book and the lyrics. Two Shakespearean productions, one American, Henry IV; and one Canadian from Ontario’s Stratford Festival, King Lear, grabbed a total of seven nominations. Not bad for the Bard! Two theater giants from these Shakespearean productions will compete against each other for Best Actor in a Dramatic Production: Kevin Kline in Henry IV and Christopher Plummer in King Lear.

Wicked, which has a huge following among young theatergoers, has the most nominations (nine) and may walk away with more than this season’s best box office receipts. Check out the results June 6 on all CBS affiliates, and now for the trivia answer: The first Best Play from 1948 was Mr. Roberts and the first Best Musical from 1949 was Kiss me Kate. buzz

playreview

I Never Sang for my Father ★★★

Robert Anderson

BY SYD SLOBODNIK | STAFF WRITER

O

moviereview

sympathetic character, much like Gene Hackman achieved in his Oscar-nominated version of this part in the 1970 movie version of this play. The film version will be broadcast in mid-June on Turner Classic Movies.

John Mahoney is also in rare form. For those only familiar with Mahoney as the cranky, cane-toting Martin Crane on TV’s Frasier, you’ll not imagine the depth and range of emotions he brings to his role as Tom Garrison.

Tom is a self-made man, the survivor of a Depression era single-parent family. He lives a life of prescriptive mottos, rules and country club connections. Frequently referring to himself as a “good soldier” and addressing friends with a hearty “All right, old man,” he is a picture of aging confidence, but with something emotional lacking. Mahoney and Anderson make a believable pair; a father

ne of the unique aspects of the Chicago theater experience is that established-star members of some of the city’s finest theater groups periodically return to their home training grounds, even after years of movies and television success. The latest production of Chicago’s Steppenwolf Theatre is a touching revival of Robert Anderson’s 1968 I Never Sang for My Father.

This production not only features two of the Steppenwolf’s finest founding ensemble members, but also reunites John Mahoney and Kevin Anderson as a father and son, reliving the chemistry they had in the mid-1980s, when they performed in Lyle Kessler ’s Orphans at the Steppenwolf and in a successful Broadway run.

I Never Sang for My Father is actually more like a Hallmark Hall of Fame television special in that its simple plot structure and sentimental retrospective narraSteppenwolf ensemble members Kevin Anderson and John Mahoney. tion tell a touching melodramatic tale of feelings and emotions about a and son with unfulfilled needs.

The rest of the Steppenwolf ensemble is middle-aged man’s awkward relationship directed in fine form by Anna D. Shapiro. with his Depression era father.

Set in the early 1960s, Anderson plays Other standouts include an exceptional Gene Garrison, a young widower whose Deanna Dunagan as the frail, yet always prospects for a new relationship and possi- loving Mrs. Margaret Garrison, Gene’s ble marriage may take him far from his mom. And returning to the stage—all too somewhat needy elderly parents who live in infrequently since taking over the duties as the Steppenwolf’s artistic director—is suburban New York.

The play opens when the parents return Martha Lavey.

Lavey’s performance as Gene’s sister Alice from their winter home in Florida and Gene’s mom’s heart condition seems to provides some of the play’s most emotional cause the family concern. Gene’s dad, a near- and psychologically probing scenes, as the ly 80-year-old firecracker, is a more difficult obviously hurt sister tries to convince her problem because he’s never been emotional- brother not to waste his emotions on a diffily close to his son and disowned his only cult parent, who in the past acted so heartdaughter when she insisted on marrying a lessly toward those he was supposed to love.

Jewish man. Gene’s beginning narration I Never Sang for My Father runs at the establishes the story’s conflict and the moody tone for the play when he declares, Steppenwolf Theatre at 1650 N. Halsted St. “Death ends a life, but does not end a rela- until June 20—Fathers Day. tionship…”

Kevin Anderson’s laid-back introspective PLAY REVIEW GUIDE narration and performance takes a while to warm up to, but after numerous predica★★★★ Flawless ments with his father and waves of emotion★★★ Good al anguish, the audience really feels the pains of his dilemma. He wants desperately ★★ Mediocre to make peace with his dad and find a way ★ Bad to love him, but finds the task too hard with No stars Unviewable a man who shows so little outward affection.

Anderson creates a powerfully touching and

SHREK 2 ★★★

BY MATT PAIS | LEAD REVIEWER

T

hree years ago, the wildly successful Shrek threatened to be the nail in the coffin of the already struggling Disney drawing department, which hadn’t turned out a true gem (and still hasn’t) since The Lion King. Since then, the Mouse House hasn’t come up with anything new, but audiences have basked in the dizzying creativity of Spirited Away, The Triplets of Belleville, and Pixar prizes Monsters Inc. and Finding Nemo. So where does that leave a lovably crabby ogre and his upbeat donkey sidekick?

Well, the big green Dreamworks machine is back, and in the sufficiently satisfying Shrek 2, it’s clear that time hasn’t hurt the computeranimated hero a bit. The visuals are every bit as lively as the original, and it’s a relief to see that the trio of directors (again headed by Andrew Adamson) has vaccinated the franchise from a bad case of sequelitis. From the turning of the first page of the storybook that

dvdreview

TOP GUN ★★

BY DEVON SHARMA | STAFF WRITER

O

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film

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004 | DO YOU KNOW THE MUFFIN MAN??

ver the years, Tom Cruise has managed to make many things seem amazingly cool.

It’s an effect known as the “Cruise Treatment.”

Among the list of things made cool by the Cruise Treatment are: demanding the truth from a creepy old man who insists it can’t be handled, taking an autistic brother out gambling in Las Vegas, and dancing around the house wearing tighty whities. Yes, all these are now infinitely cooler thanks to Tom Cruise, but there is one activity that has benefited far more than any other from the Cruise Treatment: being a cocky, beach volleyballplaying fighter pilot who becomes disheartened and mopey after feeling responsible for the death of a partner and friend, but then rallies magnificently to shoot some Soviets out of the sky and win the girl over. Accomplishing all of these tasks was made cool by none other than Tom Cruise in 1986’s Top Gun. And that, pretty much, is all there is to Top Gun. Cruise plays Maverick, the aforementioned Navy fighter pilot—complete with the

introduces the film’s snappy opening, this follow-up doesn’t feel forced. Instead, it feels like the natural progression of a story that we’re more than willing to see continued.

This time around, Shrek (Mike Myers) and Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz) return from their honeymoon—an inspired, heartfelt affair that incorporates nods to From Here to Eternity and The Lord of the Rings, among others—to an invitation from her parents to a royal wedding ball. The king and queen are expecting a beautiful princess and her Prince Charming, but the happily wed ogres embark on the journey to the kingdom of Far Far Away so Shrek can meet the folks.

Needless to say, mommy and daddy are less than thrilled to see their ghastly green daughter and son-in-law, and the King (John Cleese) hatches a plot to fix up Fiona with the real Prince Charming (Rupert Everett). For the most part, that’s the extent of the story, and the plot dries out surprisingly fast for a film with so much creativity. Like the ogre himself, Shrek 2 sags heavily around the mid-section, weighted down by a domestically-driven plot without enough twists and turns.

Fortunately, the dazzling computer images more than make up for the lack of narrative drive. Both films are made with pure, rambunctious imagination, and it’s impossible not to eagerly anticipate what will happen next, even if you begin to lose interest in who it’s happening to. Of course, the humor largely rests on puns and cultural references, but it’s a delight to

watch Shrek 2 deftly incorporate adult-oriented jokes into such kid-friendly material.

It’s not quite as witty as the original, but it’s nearly as giddy. In a hilarious melding of Beverly Hills excess and Disney legend, the kingdom of Far Far Away is represented as a mix of Hollywood and the Magic Kingdom. Aside from the giant sign resting in the hills, Cinderella and Snow White live in massive manSHREK 2 | SHREK & PUSS-IN-BOOTS sions leading up to the castle, and the streets are lined with fairy tale versions balancing its sarcastic but sensitive tone, and of upscale establishments. It’s but one of the it’s never too bitter to be sweet. The film manmany sight gags that make Shrek 2 so pleasantly ages to repeatedly wink at all things Disney watchable, guaranteed to tickle parents while without coming off competitive, an honorable move for a Dreamworks studio that should entertaining children.

There’s also Puss-In-Boots as a Spanish-fla- have plenty to gloat about at the box office this vored assassin voiced by Antonio Banderas, summer. In giving reverence with each referwho makes a charismatic desperado out of the ence, the four-headed team of writers keeps furry feline who eventually teams up with things light and sprinkles good-hearted, intelShrek and Donkey. This sparks some jealousy ligent fun throughout every scene.

Shrek 2 picks up noticeable steam in its in Eddie Murphy’s jovial jackass, and as they fight to be Shrek’s four-footed right-hand man, urgent final act when Shrek and the whole Murphy continues to make a case for an all- gang of fairy tale favorites teams up to reunite animated career. He’s far more comfortable him with Fiona. It becomes apparent that the being a good-natured ass as Donkey than in original strove for greatness while this suitable any of his recent bombs (Daddy Day Care, I Spy, sequel is merely good, but it’s hard to comThe Adventures of Pluto Nash, take your pick), plain about another chuckle-filled trip to fantasyland sure to once again make Disney green and he’s that much funnier.

Shrek 2 does an admirably effective job of (cha-ching!) with envy.

aviator sunglasses, bitchin’ motorcycle and attitude to boot.

Maverick, being one of the best pilots in the Navy, is sent off to attend Fighter Weapons School, dubbed “Top Gun” by the students.

The school trains the top 1 percent of Navy pilots—obligatory “best of the best” comments are made throughout—to become even better. Maverick, from the moment he arrives, seeks to beat out the rest of the students and win the trophy for TOP GUN | ANTHONY EDWARDS & TOM CRUISE best pilot at “Top Gun.” The best of the best of actors portraying them. Val Kilmer plays Iceman, Anthony Edwards is Goose, and the best, as it were.

Somewhere along the line, Cruise’s charac- Kelly McGillis gives us the sexy and saucy ter is given a real name, but it’s quickly for- Charlie. Meg Ryan and Tim Robbins make gotten since that’s not what Top Gun is about. unexpected appearances, as well. They’re all The characters here are little more than two- looking as good as they ever have, which is dimensional cardboard cutouts, lacking any an added bonus. Just wait until the beach volsort of depth or development. They have leyball scene, with Cruise and Kilmer topless. clear-cut roles to fill, and they wear these The heat can be felt through the TV. Sure, Top roles on their sleeves. Well, on their helmets, Gun is formulaic, with a recycled plot and to be exact. The rival pilot who butts heads stale characters. But it’s cool; real cool. The with Maverick, and is too cool for words? action is entertaining, if only because watchThat’s Iceman. It says so right there on his ing things move really fast and blow up is helmet. Maverick’s partner and buddy, the fun.

The DVD comes with no extras or commencomic relief, and “the only family Maverick’s got?” That’s Mother Goose, Goose for short. tary whatsoever. Perhaps it’s for the best, See it there, written on his helmet? And how though. Some things are simply meant to be about the love interest, the “target” of the way they are, with no added features or Special Treatment. Of course, everything could Maverick’s affection? She goes by Charlie.

The thing that saves these characters from benefit from a little Cruise Treatment, and being far too predictable and boring is the that’s the truth. Can you handle it?

C-UViews Compiled by Roderick Gedey

Shrek 2 ★★★★ Pam Simmons Urbana, Ill.

“It was nice that they gave you the happily ever after theme.”

★★★★ Jamia Monterio Urbana, Ill.

“It was hilarious. It kept you on the edge of your seat.”

★★★★ Kavoscea Simmons Urbana, Ill.

“Puss, Pinocchio and the Gingerbread Man stole the show.”

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COURTESY OF STEPPENWOLF THEATRE

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moviereview

THIS OLD CUB ★★★

BY SYD SLOBODNIK | STAFF WRITER

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his Old Cub suffers from an identity crisis, somewhat like that of its subject matter. It’s not some sappy Disney kiddie action/adventure film, as the title may suggest. Nor is it really an art house documentary, like the local multiplex ads might pigeonhole it from their mostly commercial offerings.

More like an ESPN special, This Old Cub is a loving tribute to one of Chicago baseball’s finest third basemen and most beloved radio baseball broadcasters—Ron Santo—by his film maker son, Jeff. Even more unique than his many hitting and fielding accomplishments in his 14-year career was Santo’s playing secret.

He played the first 11 of those years hiding his Type-1 diabetes from everyone, with only the Cubs’ team doctor’s knowledge. His career accomplishments, with such an uncontrolled disease, prove even more astounding.

Narrated by noted Chicago actor Joe Mantegna, co-author of the popular play Bleacher Bums, director Jeff Santo details his dad’s humble working class beginnings in Seattle, Wash., to how Santo had a vast choice of teams to join in his 1960 rookie year. Within just a few years, he made a real name for himself in the majors. In 1961, he was named

RON SANTO—A PERFECT 10 | MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004

sophomore player of the year, hitting 23 home runs and driving in 83 RBIs. He made the 1963 All-Star team for the National League, won the first of his Golden Glove awards in 1964, and became the youngest Cub team captain in 1964 at the age of 24.

Jeff Santo’s biopic reaches several narrative climaxes during its quickly paced 86 minutes, while piling on plenty of Cubs nostalgia for many of baseball’s most loyal and struggling fans. Fans will hear the famous play-by-play of Jack Brickhouse, as well as the lively chorus of “Hey, Hey, Holy Mackerel!” while seeing some of the vintage Santo clutch homers and diving defensive fielding gems.

The 1969 season contains the film’s most noteworthy scenes of Santo’s playing career.

Cub fans of all ages will enjoy the roller coaster of emotions, from “Mr. Cub” Ernie Banks’s poetic spring training declaration, “The Cubs will shine in ‘69,” to their record 11-1 April win-lose start. Famous Chicago actors Bill Murray, William Petersen and Gary Sinise recall vivid boyhood memories of the glorious road to the near-pennant year. Dennis Franz remembers worrying that he’d be in Vietnam while his beloved Cubbies would be fighting for their first World Series since 1945.

Santo remarked, “It was the greatest of my career. We were like rock stars.” Then like some manic swing of fate, early September rolled in and the New York Mets overtook the slumping Cubs.

The film treats the ‘69 slump much like the media treated the Cubs last season when they dropped the playoffs to the Florida Marlins, blaming fate and several misfortunes of the game. Few remember Santo’s late August hitting slump and several costly fielding errors

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in a couple of crucial September games that year—which this movie ignores, much like the sports media overlooked the silence of Sammy Sosa’s bat in the playoffs last year.

Still, Santo ended his playing career with the Cubs in 1973 with 342 career home runs, ranking him high on the list of all-time home run leaders.

Much of the rest of the film focuses on Santo’s lifelong battle with diabetes and his crusade to fight for diabetes treatment and research.

Santo tells how he miraculously THIS OLD CUB | RON SANTO self-monitored his blood sugar levels during his playing days, in a time before Wrigley Field last year. These scenes can’t fancy blood monitoring devices and how he’d compensate, though, for the film’s more awkduck into the dugout for candy bars when he ward parts, which include the recent wishful felt weak. One remarkable, almost mythical hype over Santo’s possible induction into anecdote—retold by Santo—notes a game baseball’s Hall of Fame.

Here, Jeff Santo interviews legends Johnny where a diabetic reaction caused him to have triple vision. Billy Williams was batting while Bench, Willie Mays, Willie McCovey and Santo sat in the on-deck circle looking up at Brooks Robinson (arguably baseball’s greatest the triple deck scoreboard. When Williams third baseman ever), all of whom strongly walked, Santo stepped up and faced all three endorsed Santo’s wish for the Hall of Fame. of Dodgers starter Bill Singer. Santo picked the Sadly, like last year’s missed playoff opportumiddle image and smashed Singer’s first pitch nities, Santo will have to wait until another into the bleachers for a game-winning grand day for his induction into the Hall of Fame. slam.

SCREEN REVIEW GUIDE Other, more touching images contrast amazing feats of Santo’s playing days against ★★★★ Flawless the present-day Santo getting up in the morning and meticulously putting on his prosthesis ★★★ Good legs after two amputation surgeries. ★★ Mediocre The film’s more joyous moments detail ★ Bad Santo’s recent work as Cub announcer and his broadcast chemistry with Pat Hughes and No stars Unwatchable the team’s number retirement ceremony at

EMERGING PICTURES

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the back seat, so either Ramona or Allie can easily reach him. Allie drives. Jacob murmurs “Mommy” every so often, obviously appealing to both of them for further entertainment.

“Mommy” or “Mama” is a general call for assistance from either parent in this family.

Both mamas talk to him as Allie drives. Jacob points outside the car to a truck and declares it a “bus.”

“Yeah, everything that big is a bus,” Ramona laughs.

“That’s a truck, honey. A bus carries lots of people, a truck carries stuff,” Allie says.

Allie was 18 and Ramona 21 when they met.

Ramona was a senior and an outspoken feminist on the small liberal arts campus at Macalester College in St. Paul, Minn.

“You were kind of an icon,” Allie says. “I was a lowly little freshman.”

“But you were very cute in fatigues,” Ramona says.

“Oh, my camouflage fatigues,” Allie says, laughing. “A holdover from high school.”

Allie played guitar, hung out with friends, smoked a lot of Marlboros. She had a radio show on which she would play anything but “You Light Up My Life” by Debby Boone. They had a brief romance but Ramona ended it.

“I was too jealous, too possessive,” Allie says.

Three years later, in 1990, they ran into each other at Super America and quickly fell in love.

“I was waiting for you,” Ramona says, smiling.

Q & A

KevinHales

★★★

BY ANDREW VECELAS | STAFF WRITER

S

omething about computers fills people with resounding pessimism. Try to count the number of movies that focus on computers bringing about the destruction of the human race, or show regular folks at the mercy of technology. Despite all the advances computers have brought, most movies coming out of Hollywood still seem bent on telling us we were better off before computers became such a big part of our lives.

This is why Tron stands out, and can probably be enjoyed even more today than when it was first released in 1982. The movie has a sense of wonderment at computers that Hollywood quickly abandoned, and dares to think that something amazing, and not entirely sinister, can be found inside those electronic boxes.

Tron imagines a world where computer programs battle against each other in a digi-

tal world, where each program worships its programmer (called a “user”) like a god.

When one of these programmers, a brilliant video game designer named Flynn (Jeff Bridges) gets zapped into this world, he finds himself fighting alongside the other programs in a series of computer games realized full-scale. The games are all run by the evil Master Control Program (MCP), which is trying to assimilate all other programs and gain control of both the electronic and real worlds.

Flynn gets dragged into the struggle against the MCP, and must fight to save both worlds.

The plot mixes cyberpunk and Spartacus in equal doses, focusing more on being clever than convincing. The religious and moral aspects of the

story will fly over the heads of younger viewers and will come off a bit pretentious for the more mature. Tron’s dialogue is the very definition of corny. And the actors other than Bridges (who has a lot of fun with his role) get lost in the fray. Thankfully, the whole plot is an excuse for the film’s striking effects sequences. Just when things get too confusing or corny, there’s sure to be an incredible effects shot to make up for it. This is one instance where an effects extravaganza is definitely warranted.

Probably put off by the geek appeal of the plot, critics and audiences largely wrote off the movie upon its initial release, and it was eventually outgrossed by the arcade game based on it. The film has always maintained a sizeable cult following, willing to overlook the quirks of the film for its merits.

And what exactly are Tron’s merits? It is definitely the ultimate tri-

umph of style over substance. To put it simply, no film before or since has duplicated the look of the computer world achieved by the movie. The filmmakers used state-of-the-art (at the time) computer imagery—combined with some surprisingly low-tech camera effects—to bring the digital world to life.

The limited capabilities of computers at the time actually work to the advantage of the designs by artists such as Syd Mead and Moebius, and help to create a world that is simultaneously stark and colorful, simplistic and surreal.

So the plot is unconvincing, the performances forgettable, the dialogue relies a bit too much on techno-babble, and the climax makes no sense—even after multiple viewings. Yet it overcomes these faults in grand style, and seems all the more entertaining because of its little quirks in terms of plot and characterization. It hearkens back to an era when having a sense of awe at computers was still possible, and is still as much of a joy for imaginative audiences today as it was 20 years ago.

PHOTO | RODERICK GEDEY

TRON: GUILTY PLEASURE OF THE WEEK

Professor Kevin Hales was born in raised in the Bronx, N.Y. After graduating from Fisk University in Nashville, Tenn., Hales earned his master’s degree in history at North Carolina Central University.

Following his graduate work, he traveled to Ghana, Africa, to do research for a year in 1998. He has traveled to many places but finally landed at Parkland College in 1999, where he teaches American, African-American and African history.

Now he shares his passion of history with those who are willing to learn.

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was going to last. “Our commitment ceremony really helped her,” Ramona says. “She totally got it as a wedding.”

Ramona and Allie laugh about how now anytime “anything gay” is mentioned in the newspaper, Ramona’s mother sends them clippings.

In 1994, they committed to each other for the rest of their lives.

At Bevier Hall, Ramona reaches between the seats and kisses Jacob goodbye. “Bye, sweetheart. Can I have a kiss? Mwa. Bye, sweetie.”

“Bye bye, mama.”

Ramona gives Allie a quick kiss, steps outside the car, waves and smiles. Jacob waves back.

Ramona’s life leading up to now wasn’t always placid and secure. “My parents just did not have much to give,” she said. Ramona learned to be independent, not even thinking twice at 8 years old about riding her bike five miles to the pool without telling anyone. Her mother did not work. “She just wasn’t paying attention.”

And then suddenly, she was. Ramona had a girlfriend when she was a teenager. “We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. It was pretty obvious to anyone.” Her mom left the family for an entire year when she found out, and moved back in with her parents in Texas.

“You’re disgusting and I want nothing to do with you,” Ramona remembers her saying.

“I had a boyfriend pretty fast after that,” Ramona says.

Ramona spent the remainder of her teenage years and into her 20s struggling to figure out her sexuality. She moved far away from her parents on the East Coast to Minneapolis for college and graduate school. But she came out as a lesbian again in her 20s—this time for good.

“I just told everybody in a letter, just sent a letter to everyone I am related to and said, ‘This is who I am. You like me, great. You don’t, whatever.’ “ Her mother tried immediately to work damage control.

“Don’t tell your grandparents,” she pleaded.

“Frankly,” Ramona said, “ I already did.”

Ramona says her mother calmed down when she realized her relationship with Allie

How did you become interested in history?

I’ve always loved it since grade school. I’ve always been a person who loved history; to read about it, learn about it. In honesty, I can’t remember a time when I’ve not enjoyed reading about history. I mean European, Asian, South American. It didn’t matter when I was a kid.

what American culture is, who we are as a people, who we are as a social, cultural, political, economic entity. Because without understanding that, it’s hard to understand what an American is, what America is. It’s hard to take pride in something you know nothing about. In a lot of ways, American history in particular is the foundation, the building block to give people an understanding of their history, their culture and the mistakes of the past. The great accomplishments of the past build a foundation of the people as Americans. And you can’t go to Iraq or Afghanistan and teach them about democracy, about being an open society, about how great American culture is if you don’t know what that entails.

Who do you admire? Why? John Hope Franklin. He’s a historian. He’s at the top of the list of living souls, of people who are living, now. He just received an honorary degree this past weekend from the U of I. We both went to Fisk, the same undergraduate college. He is a man who has tried to take American history and elevate it over the last five decades to another level and make it interesting and make it relevant to modern times. I would hope that any “younger” people would hope to do that and continue that tradition. He’s a good man.

And he’s really tried to make history something that young people can really wrap their minds around and make it relevant for today.

What are some of the challenges you find in teaching?

Of course, dealing with young teenage folk— 17, 18, 19 (years old). Most people come into a history class with an attitude that it’s going to be boring like it was in high school. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, blah blah blah. So you want to make it fun. You want to make it enlightening and you also want to be able to tie Washington into today and Iraq, and show young folk that history aren’t these dead facts; that it’s a living, changing entity in itself. And that yesterday relates to today, and that today is actually resting on top of yesterday’s foundation. If young folk understand that then I think their whole understanding of history changes. Every day is history.

What are your goals for the future?

Earn a Ph.D. Write a few books in the coming years or so. Those are the two big ones. And really find time to write.

Did you always know you wanted to do something geared toward history in your future?

Well, when I was younger, I grew up in New York, in the Bronx. I didn’t have an ambition to go to college until after high school. I always knew that I could go to college, and that if I did get there I knew at the very least I would do something in history, although certainly the ambition to go to college and be a historian came a bit later on.

How did you come to work at Parkland?

Actually, I was in London. I’d finished up in Ghana, and I was in London with some friends and a friend here in North Carolina faxed me the article in the Chronicle of Higher Education stating that Parkland was looking for somebody to teach American, BlackAmerican, and maybe African (history). So it seemed to be a perfect fit. It was ideal. So the timing was just perfect.

What are some of the rewards of teaching history?

Certainly, that you get to impart the cultural foundation of the history of what America is,

continued on Page 19

Jacob eats freshly-picked strawberries.

If you weren’t teaching, what would you like to be doing?

I’d probably be doing something involving plants, horticulture. Maybe own a plant store or a greenhouse. If I could make money off of plants, I certainly wouldn’t mind doing that.

What is your favorite part about history?

It helps people living in today’s time get an understanding of how today is shaped and fashioned. So if you understand yesterday, it helps you understand what is going on today.

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4community Reexamining the definition of family

BY KELLY RETAN | STAFF WRITER

came next. Ramona sometimes feels ignored and locked out of such conversations. So for now their answer is, “We don’t remember.�

Strangers often think she’s the grandmother (“It’s the gray streaks,� says Ramona). Or she’s the stepmother.

Allie makes her way downstairs so Ramona can get ready for work. Allie is the stay-athome mom, and she is dressed for it: blue jeans, a simple green shirt and running shoes.

Her long curly hair is loose and, and not a frill is in sight: no makeup, no jewelry. Allie’s body is stocky, and her years of weightlifting before getting pregnant are evident in her frame and gait. But some endeavors fall by the wayside with a young child—events like weightlifting, shaving her legs and some days even showering.

She eats the breakfast Ramona prepared without warming it and positions herself on the red, plush couch with Jacob in her lap.

Although the world isn’t a parade of critics, reactions to this lesbian family are not always heartening. At a local restaurant Allie and Ramona once answered, “We both are� to the inevitable birthing question. The woman asking looked pained and strode away, disgusted.

The gold ring Allie put on her ring finger

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health insurance. As a couple, they are considered legal strangers.

Loading Jacob into the car takes some maneuvering. “We’re getting in the car, bud,� says Ramona as Jacob stands outside the car looking uninterested in the endeavor. The mothers hover about their child, heaving and strapping him in. “You can get the top buckle,�

Allie says to him, even though at 20 months he clearly can’t. “Need help with that, bud? These gotta line up, and you gotta puuush. Perfect.�

Jacob will not always have such a hard time with seat belts. But, as he loses his diapers and his car seat, there will be other hard times as he will have to answer the question, “Why do you have two moms?� Ramona and Allie need only to look to Ramona’s sister’s family for a glimpse of what may come.

Ramona was never close to her sister, but they did visit her on their annual “East Coast tour� vacation each summer before Jacob was born. But not since. Now, Ramona’s sister’s husband will not tolerate a visit. He does not want his children exposed to Jacob. “He thinks Jacob’s a freak, a mistake, that we’re freaks,� Ramona said. “We’re afraid that he’s raising his kids to be mean to kids like ours.�

Jacob’s baby seat is placed in the middle of

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Allie reads with Jacob while Ramona pets their cat, Oscar.

film

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004 | THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW? A.K.A. INDEPENDENCE DAY 2

BOBBY JONES, STROKE OF GENIUS ★★★ JIM CAVIEZEL With a naturally beautiful backdrop immersed in a heartwarming tale that transcends its sport, Bobby Jones, Stroke of Genius is enjoyable for golfers and non-golfers alike. The game itself is only a minuscule portion of the film’s overall message and does not drain the emotion and intensity of the characters. Golfers will appreciate the historical account of a legendary player but the rest of the audience will connect with Jones’ tortuous life off the course.

(Dan Nosek) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy BREAKIN’ ALL THE RULES ★★ JAMIE FOXX AND GABRIELLE UNION Breakin’ All the Rules is a watchable film. At its peaks and during Foxx’s “sexpert� scenes, it could even be considered hilarious. Chestnut is solid gold. Any actor who can be funny working with the like of Lil’ Bow Wow (Like Mike) and Steven Seagal (Under Siege 2) should be given a Nobel Prize. This is a film that will not draw many looks from critics around the country, but can provide a light moviegoing experience for those that aren’t up to the substance of the summer blockbusters hitting the screens this summer. Have fun, but don’t expect too much out of Foxx and Chestnut in Breakin’ All the Rules. (Andrew Crewell) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy ENVY ★ JACK BLACK & BEN STILLER It’s pretty safe to say Envy wouldn’t have been made without so many big names, which at least accounts for Christopher Walken’s presence as a homeless hippie who pops up whenever the film gets bored with Stiller and Black’s inconsistent characters. It’s like a one-joke SNL skit gone terribly wrong. In fact, it’s a shame Envy won’t be shown on Late Night with Conan O’Brien. It’s the perfect piece of crap for Triumph to poop on. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND ★★★★ JIM CARREY& KATE WINSLET Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is a thrillingly stimulating, mentally challenging puzzler worthy of thought as well as conversation. It’s about the destiny of love, the spontaneity of life and the everyday opportunity to fully realize both. It shows that we can never truly escape from pain, that heartache is a small price to pay for a chance at happiness, and that a mind—especially one like Kaufman’s—is a terrible thing to waste. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

PHOTOS | CHRISTINE LITAS

amona has never been a morning person.

But today at 5:30 a.m., as her 20-month-old son twists his tiny fingers around her silverstreaked hair and even sticks them up her nose as she sleeps, she doesn’t have much choice.

Jacob rules the house.

Some mornings, the sandy-haired boy shuffles down the hall away from Ramona and into the guest room bleating, “Nurse! Nurse!�

There resides Allie—Jacob’s other mom—the woman who gave birth to him. These proud parents are weaning their son, so for now Ramona sleeps with him in the master bedroom and Allie in the guest room, her mammary glands safely tucked away from Jacob for the night.

Every family has a routine. These are the morning habits of this American family. While the routine is common, the players are not.

Ramona and Allie are a lesbian couple and their son Jacob was conceived by donor sperm.

To Allie and Ramona, Jacob simply does not have a father.

At a time when the conventional mom-dadand-kids unit is only one option of “family,� lesbian households with children are less and less unusual. Census data from the year 2000 reports that 601,209 same-sex partner households exist in the United States. One out of three lesbian couples living in the same household is raising children.

Despite the growing census figures of gay families, this family’s situation is certainly not common in Champaign-Urbana. And the couple knows Jacob may soon face disapproving questions and silent disgust.

Ramona and Jacob eventually amble downstairs together, Ramona holding Jacob’s hand as he hops down each stair separately in his striped, footy pajamas. Once in the living room, Ramona and Jacob snap on the TV to a PBS video they can both stand (Ramona hates Barney). Ramona, the cook of the family, whips up blueberry muffins in a self-described “June Cleaver moment,� while Jacob slowly builds toy trains.

Hints of this family’s personality pepper the room. College literature, vegetarian cookbooks and yoga how-to books are stacked anywhere and everywhere between the living room and the kitchen.

Jacob’s influence abounds: toys in every corner, boxes brimming with games, pictures and more pictures. Big, gentle cats—Felix and Oscar—stretch listlessly on the floor.

Sometimes, Ramona’s relationship with Jacob is confusing to strangers. In grocery stores, restaurants and shopping malls, people ask, “Who’s the mom?� Ramona and Allie used to answer, “We both are,� but the inevitable question of who gave birth always

after their commitment ceremony has also evoked reactions. “I married a woman� was Allie’s answer to “What does your husband do?� While not everyone is visibly prejudiced, most need a second to recover. Allie imagines the thought process in people running something like, “I don’t think it’s bad but maybe they think I think it’s bad. What can I say now?�

Ramona is ready for her work day as an assistant professor of family studies, specializing in gay and lesbian families. She wears jeans and a dark turtleneck. Like Allie, she is unadorned. Wire-rimmed glasses frame her face. Her long, dark brown hair is pulled into a simple bun, the gray streaks glinting. “So he didn’t eat much breakfast?� Allie asks as they hurry out the back door. “No, he did not want any,� Ramona answers. Allie grabs a banana and some toast and off they go.

Prejudiced strangers are not this couple’s only challenge. Allie and Ramona are not a married couple, at least not according to law.

Illinois does not recognize same-sex unions, so their twin gold bands are only a symbol of their commitment. Ramona and Allie cannot file taxes jointly, and cannot use each other’s

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004

Drive-thru Reviews

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KILL BILL: VOL. 2 ★★★★ UMA THURMAN & DAVID CARRADINE It simultaneously proves Tarantino’s incredible understanding of his strengths and limitations as a director who wears his influences so proudly on his sleeve. He doesn’t try to top that which he references, but by synthesizing all of his favorite styles into a wholly new genre of creative filmmaking, he creates a unique, brave vision all his own.

Vol. 1 and Vol. 2 are different enough in tone to watch separately but densely linked in a way that can only be truly appreciated when taken together. Tarantino entered Kill Bill a student, but he emerges a master. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy MAN ON FIRE ★★ DENZEL WASHINGTON & DAKOTA FANNING Director Tony Scott (Spy Game) never met a flashy, kneejerk cut he didn’t like, and he makes even the calmest sequences in Man on Fire feel like chase scenes out of Enemy of the State. Essentially, this overly long drama is little more than a story of the usual American mentality of trying to solve the problems of other countries with bigger guns and bigger egos. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy MEAN GIRLS ★★★ LINDSEY LOHAN & LACEY CHABERT Mean Girls’ screenwriter Tina Fey uses a candor that not only criticizes the stereotypes of these portrayals, but also depicts them in an entertaining way that is unique to anything shown before. The students of North Shore High don’t all belong in magazine advertisements. Some belong in the “before� pictures in weight loss commercials or on the front cover of “Special Olympics Success Stories.� This film uses the formula of the typical high school illustration, adds fresh humor and a touch of reality that makes the film surprisingly entertaining to watch. (Art Mitchell) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy THE PUNISHER ★★★ THOMAS JANE & JOHN TRAVOLTA It’s hard to say what the bigger disappointment is: that the first half of the movie was pretty damn good or that John Travolta has a decent performance in a movie that wastes his talent. With more explosions than Rambo III and an actor whose performance is only slightly better than Dolph Lundgren in the original, The Punisher is probably enjoyed only by those looking to get away for two hours, action junkies, or 15-year-old boys. (Dan Maloney) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy NEW YORK MINUTE ★★ MARY-KATE AND ASHLEY OLSEN All in all, the film is just what anyone would expect.

There are a couple of funny moments, some annoyingly adorable moments and others that just aren’t funny or adorable. The most striking fallout from New York Minute is the twins’ diminutive stature. Standing approximately 5 feet tall, and weighing what looks to be about 65 pounds apiece, the Olsen Twins are anything but the average movie star. At any rate, New York Minute will do its part to dispel a good deal of obsessions with the Olsen twins, mostly because they just aren’t cute anymore. (Andrew Crewell) Now Showing at Beverly and Savoy

GODSEND ★ ROBERT DENIRO & GREG KINNEAR Rumor has it that four endings were shot for this film, which will make any viewer wonder if the movie would have been better if they focused more on the plot in the first 90 minutes and less on the last 10. Even though it comes in under two hours, this film feels bloated and boring to the point that you’ll wish you had a clone to send to the theater so you wouldn’t have to endure this cinematic misstep. (Jason Cantone) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

13 GOING ON 30 ★★★ JENNIFER GARNER & MARK RUFFALO The premise of the film appears somewhat hokey, and by no means original, but Garner’s performance shines it up like a brand new mint penny ready for circulation.

Garner’s natural ability to bring out empathy in others, both on screen and off, will eventually catapult her into the levels of stardom that Julia Roberts saw after Pretty Woman. They both subtly command attention, while winning over anyone who comes in view of their grown-up girl-next-door personas. (Janelle Greenwood) Now Showing at Beverly and Savoy

GOOD BYE, LENIN! ★★★ CHULPAN KHAMATOVA & DANIEL BRUHL Some comedians have suggested the idea of a German comedy is an oxymoron. Wolfgang Becker’s Good bye, Lenin! comes close to representing the complexity of an oxymoronic sense of humor. The film is a subtle, bittersweet political satire about the final days of the former East Germany in 1989 and the deception of an ailing East Berlin woman whose son wants to protect her health at a time of drastic change. (Syd Slobodnik) Now showing at Boardman’s Art Theatre

SHREK 2 ★★★ MIKE MYERS & EDDIE MURPHY Shrek 2 does an admirably effective job of balancing its sarcastic but sensitive tone, and it’s never too bitter to be sweet. The film manages to repeatedly wink at all things Disney without coming off competitive, an honorable move for a Dreamworks studio that should have plenty to gloat about at the box office this summer. In giving reverence with each reference, the four-headed team of writers keeps things light and sprinkles good-hearted, intelligent fun throughout every scene. It becomes apparent that the

original strove for greatness while this suitable sequel is merely good, but it’s hard to complain about another chuckle-filled trip to fantasyland sure to once again make Disney green (cha-ching!) with envy. (Matt Pais) THIS OLD CUB ★★★ RON SANTO The film’s more joyous moments details Santo’s recent work as a Cub announcer and his broadcast chemistry with Pat Hughes and the team’s number retirement ceremony at Wrigley Field last year. These scenes can’t compensate, though, for the film’s more awkward parts, which include the recent wishful hype over Santo’s possible induction into baseball’s Hall of Fame. Here, director Jeff Santo interviews legends Johnny Bench, Willie Mays, Willie McCovey and Brooks Robinson, all of whom strongly endorsed Santo’s wish for the Hall of Fame.

Sadly, like last year’s missed playoff opportunities, Santo will have to wait until another day for his induction into the Hall of Fame. (Syd Slobodnik) TROY ★★ BRAD PITT AND ERIC BANA Troy uses endless flourishes of triumphant horns and cymbal crashes to create some sense of majesty, but it does as much justice to Homer as William Hung does to “She Bangs.� Troy desperately wants to be a loud, sweeping rallying cry for love, brotherhood and country, but it’s just a bunch of pretty boys playing dress-up in this real Greek tragedy. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy VAN HELSING ★ HUGH JACKMAN Dracula relentlessly tries to spread his seed (unprotected sex, anyone?) and it’s up to the vampire slayer to stop him. And when Anna tells Van Helsing she’s never been to the sea, you know he’s going to take her there because that’s what a real man would do (wink wink). All of this should be enough to make your heart thump, but instead your pulse will nap while your mind goes for popcorn.

For all of its adrenaline-rush action, Van Helsing is like a Halloween costume-themed Universal Studios ride, tailored to a PG-13 audience happy to get its biggest thrills from Count Chocula. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

17

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OPENING THIS WEEKEND RAISING HELEN KATE HUDSON & JOAN CUSACK Kate Hudson plays your everyday, grown-up party girl with a dream job and a glamorous life ... at least until her sister and brother-in-law die in a car crash and she takes sole custody of their three kids. Joan Cusack, according to the trailer, plays the role of the responsible sister and even has a mom haircut. While Hudson learns to juggle life and kids, hilarity is sure to ensue. (Paul Wagner) SOUL PLANE SNOOP DOGG & TOM ARNOLD After a bad flight experience, a lawsuit and a huge settlement check, airline NWA is born complete with hot stewardesses, a dance club and a bathroom attendant.

How can a movie with Snoop Dogg and Tom Arnold about a “flyâ€? airline not be funny? This is sure to be a comic gem. (Paul Wagner) THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW DENNIS QUAID & JAKE GYLLENHAAL First off, weather scares the hell out of me. Can’t control it. This movie plays to those fears like it’s its job, which it is. Quaid, a paleoclimatologist (whatever that is) figures out that a series of catastrophic events are soon to occur, and he tries to save his son (Gyllenhaal) in New York. Weather to end the world ‌ a scary thought.

(Paul Wagner) I’M NOT SCARED AITANA Sà NCHEZ-GIJÓN & DINO ABBRESCIA Something sinister is lurking under the surface of 10year-old Michele's (Giuseppe Cristiano) idyllic summer in 1978. While the days in his remote southern Italian village are filled with the familiar routines of childhood, a chance discovery leads to a shocking revelation. Now, suddenly beyond the point of no return, Michele digs further to find that even his own parents may be behind what's quickly becoming the country's most nefarious crime. (www.boardmansarttheatre.com) Opening at Boardman’s Art Theatre

THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 12:30 1:00 1:30 3:10 4:00 4:30 6:40 7:00 7:30 9:30 10:00 11:15 12:10 Sun. - Thu. 12:30 1:00 1:30 3:10 4:00 4:30 6:40 7:00 7:30 9:30 10:00

â—† SHREK

2 (PG) (4 SCREENS) Fri. & Sat. 12:20 12:40 1:00 1:20 2:40 3:00 3:20 3:40 4:45 5:10 5:30 6:45 7:10 7:40 8:00 9:00 9:30 10:00 11:00 11:20 11:45 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 12:20 12:40 1:00 1:20 2:40 3:00 3:20 3:40 4:45 5:10 5:30 6:45 RAISING HELEN (PG–13) 7:10 7:40 8:00 9:00 9:30 Fri. & Sat. 12:30 1:00 3:10 10:00 4:45 6:45 7:15 9:30 9:50 12:10 Sun. - Thu. 12:30 1:00 3:10 THIS OLD CUB (NR) Fri. & 4:45 6:45 7:15 9:30 9:50 Sat. 12:30 2:40 4:50 7:00 9:10 11:30 SOUL PLANE (R) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 12:30 2:40 4:50 Sat. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:20 7:00 9:10 9:40 11:50 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:20 9:40 TROY (R) Fri. & Sat. 12:30 13 GOING ON 30 (PG–13) 1:00 3:50 4:30 7:10 8:00 Fri. - Thu. 12:40 2:50 7:10 11:00 11:30 Sun. - Thu. 12:30 1:00 3:50 4:30 7:10 8:00 BREAKIN' ALL THE RULES (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 5:00 9:30 VAN HELSING (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 12:20 1:00 3:10 MAN ON FIRE (R) Fri. Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:10 10:00 4:00 6:30 7:00 9:30 9:50 12:15 MEAN GIRLS (PG–13) Fri. Sun. - Thu. 12:20 1:00 3:10 & Sat. 12:40 2:50 5:00 7:30 4:00 6:30 7:00 9:30 9:50 9:50 11:50 Sun. - Thu. 12:40 2:50 5:00 7:30 9:50 Showtimes for 5/28 thru 6/3

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MY BRAIN STOPPED WOKRING | MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004 buzz

FIRST THING’S FIRST...

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY (MAY 26 - JUNE 2)

Top

5 Requests

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I almost always urge you to see the glass as half-full, not half-empty. But this week I'm more cautious.

Why? Because you may soon be pressured to buy into overly optimistic fantasies. Even people you trust may encourage you to place inflated faith in shaky promises. So ask lots of probing questions, please. Beware of groupthink. On the other hand, however, there's no need to adopt a sour, suspicious perspective.

Being cynical will not automatically make you insightful. See if you can manage to be a cheerful skeptic, as generous and openminded as you are alert for the hype.

1. Franz FerdinandTake Me Out 2. The KillersSomebody Told Me 3. Modest MouseFloat On 4. The Postal ServiceSuch Great Heights 5. Dashboard ConfessionalVindicated

ONLINE

8@8

Make your vote for the

TOP 8 most requested songs!

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): A surfer from California recently collected his 15 minutes of fame when he rode his board for the 10,407th consecutive day. During those 28 years, Dale Webster never took a vacation. To keep his mornings free, he worked exclusively at low-paying night jobs. He surfed on the day his daughter was born and the day he passed kidney stones. His eyes now have scar tissue because he has gazed into the sun for so long, and he's literally afraid to stop surfing for even 24 hours.

I nominate him to be both your role model and anti-role model, Taurus. It's a perfect time to commit yourself with fierce passion to a long-term dream, but only if you promise not to let your devotion degenerate into manic obsession.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I lead a group called the Prayer Warriors. We petition God on behalf of people who need help in summoning divine intervention. Here's the prayer we'll be saying for your tribe in the coming months. Dear God: We beseech You to give a big, beautiful home to all Geminis who want one. If they aren't allowed to have that for karmic reasons, please grant them a comfortable apartment with no obnoxious roommates. If You can't manage that, bless them with a trailer that's free of mildew.

If that's impossible, bestow on them a tent that doesn't leak and a cheap place to pitch it. If that's too much to ask, let them have their own tree house in a forest that's not too dark and scary. And if all that's out of the question, please at least help them feel at home in the world wherever they are.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Antibiotics have been miracle drugs for over 60 years, but their potency is fading as bacteria evolve to become resistant to them. This has led some British doctors to revive a medieval approach to healing -- placing maggots in open wounds. Seriously. The creepy creatures are fast and effective in cleansing infections. I'd like this to serve as your operative metaphor in the coming weeks, Cancerian. As you strive to mend old psychic lesions, call on the wisdom of the past -- even if it involves a cure that makes you a bit uneasy.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The puzzle is not as difficult as you imagine. In fact, it has only seven pieces -- far fewer than you've assumed. Perhaps you got thrown off by its simplicity; it does have a superficial resemblance to a more complicated puzzle from your past. The ironic thing is that you'll never figure it out it

as long as you're so serious and stressed about it. To create the conditions that will lead to a solution, relax, have as much fun as possible, and assume that the puzzle will soon solve itself.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Most American children don't want to grow up to be president any more. The practice of politics is boring and sickening, they tell pollsters. There's too much pressure and too much arguing involved. Despite this trend, I predict that in the coming weeks, a disproportionately large percentage of Virgo youngsters will fantasize about someday becoming President of the United States. I further predict that one of these kids will ultimately be elected Commander in Chief in 2044. As for you Virgo adults, I believe that no matter what country you live in, events in the coming days will awaken your dormant reserves of ambition and authority.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The time a rodeo cowboy has to stay on a bucking bronco to qualify: 8 seconds. The time a lion-tamer holds his head in a lion's mouth: 7 seconds. The time it takes for a skydiver's parachute to open: 6 seconds. The time it takes for thunder to travel a mile: 5 seconds. The time it will take, sometime in the coming week, for a divine intervention to reveal a galvanizing vision of your possible future: 10 seconds. The time it may take for you to fully understand the meaning of the vision: 4 months.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The Israeli poet Yehuda Amichai wrote that "The soul is a search; the soul is a dance of searches for whatever is lost." Let that be your guiding thought in the coming weeks, Scorpio. The astrological omens suggest that it's high time for you to go looking for a missing treasure. The best way to ensure that you find it is to feed and praise and give free reign to the part of you that you call your soul.

you've always feared was a permanent curse.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Welcome to the Happiness Season, Aquarius. The entire universe is now conspiring to provoke in you an abiding sense of joy and well-being.You can resist, of course; it's your God-given right to use your free will to repel this influx of contentment. But in case you decide to cooperate with the cosmic trend, here are a few helpful thoughts to propel you. "Happiness is a state of going somewhere wholeheartedly, without regret or reservation." - William H. Sheldon. "I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than be a success at something I hate." - George Burns. "Happiness is not attained through selfgratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose." - Helen Keller. "Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy." - Anonymous. "To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness." Bertrand Russell.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I predict that some of you overly sensitive Pisceans will soon be beaten down by the cold, cruel world. Maybe you'll move in with your parents or flee to the middle of nowhere and live off the grid in a log cabin. Similarly, more than a few of you Piscean artists, actors, writers, and musicians will get weary of the uphill battle to make a living from doing what you love. You'll think about selling out, seeking dull but secure gigs in the corporate world. But I'm begging all of you not to give up. Please continue your heroic struggles to be true to yourselves. If you can manage to hold on a while longer, you will be blessed with a breakthrough no later than September 1.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): What kind of archer do you want to be when you grow up, Sagittarius? Would you like to be: 1. the kind of archer who aims in the general direction of several big targets in the distance; 2. the kind who aims at a single medium-sized target in the middle distance; 3. the kind who aims at many small targets that aren't too far away; 4. the kind who never aims at any target at all, but just enjoys the thrill of shooting lots of arrows everywhere? This is a perfect time for you to settle on one of these four options.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): My friend Katherine comes from an old southern family that has recorded its history for generations. She says her great-great-great-grandmother, Elizabeth, was born in Greenville, South Carolina in 1852. Until she was 81 years old, Elizabeth suffered from asthma. Then she was cured completely, and lived free of its ravages until she died in 1955 at the age of 103. I nominate Elizabeth to be your inspirational role model for the next two weeks, Capricorn. Believe it or not, you now have the power to shed a burden or cure a malady that

Brezsny’s Free Will ☎ Rob ✍ HOMEWORK: Give names to the trees Astrology freewillastroloand plants you're most familiar with. Address them with a fond greeting whenever you see them.

gy@comcast.net 415.459.7209 P.O. Box 798 San Anselmo, CA 94979

CROSSWORD PUZZLE ACROSS 1 Keep from practicing 7 A little hard to find 15 Prefix with bacteria 16 Brought to light 17 Some French wines 18 Like a cat’s existence?

19 “Of course, what would I know?”

21 Place for a monitor: Abbr.

22 Excited 23 English sum?

25 Make (out) 26 6 letters 27 Speed 29 Eva’s half-sister?

30 Beat 32 Plant used to prevent erosion on banked roadsides 34 Had a peak experience?

37 Start of a revival?

39 Clipped 40 Beats 42 Market purchase 44 Hi-tech bookmark 45 Tom Sawyer’s halfbrother

F.D.R. initiative: Abbr.

Bad from the start?

“Stupid me!”

Poles are in it Treebeard in “The Lord of the Rings,” e.g.

55 2002 upset event 59 Try to impress, in a way 60 Of a heart chamber 61 Dual 62 RNA constituent 63 Pressed hard 64 The beginning 47 48 51 52 54

DOWN 1 Gibson of pop 2 Fortunate 3 One may be standing

at a fountain 4 Inclination 5 Early calculator of pi 6 1982 Toto hit that won Record of the Year 7 See 24-Down 8 Wood of Hollywood 9 Something easily forgotten 10 Does in 11 Break

12 Perfumery pur-

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

chase 16 15 13 Stir hopes?

18 17 14 Roush of Cooperstown 19 20 20 Major irritant 24 With 7-Down, 21 22 wasn’t inane 26 25 28 Paper pusher’s words 30 31 30 Anderson who directed “The 37 34 35 36 Royal Tenenbaums” 42 40 41 31 Jubilant cry 44 45 46 33 Sheepish excuse lead-in 52 53 51 34 Starch source, 55 56 57 informally 35 “The Men Who 59 Tread on the Tiger’s Tail” direc- 61 tor, 1945 63 36 Bile 38 “Man!” Puzzle by Brendan Emmett Quigley 41 Milieu for John Muir 50 “___ Nacht” (German 43 Praise carol) 46 Novelist ___ Heyward 53 Caught, in a way 48 1992 Michener book 56 Rapper Sandra 49 For nothing Denton’s stage name

8

9

10

11

12

13

23 27

28 32

38

14

24

29 33

39 43

47

48

49

54 58 60 62 64

57 Old English letters 58 Look into?

59 Kind of power

50

intro

buzz MAY27 - JUNE 2, 2004 | REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME WHEN WE DID THAT THING? THAT WAS AWESOME!

Michael Jackson unprepared to survive a life in prison

BY MICHAEL COULTER | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

T

here’s been quite a bit going on lately. You’ve got your war, the presidential campaign, a bear bit off a woman’s arm, bin Laden is now said to have 18,000 troops ready to wreak havoc on the United States, and a gallon of gasoline costs almost as much as a gallon of single-malt Scotch. It’d be easy to forget something really important like the Michael Jackson child molestation trial ... if you didn’t hear about it every five minutes.

He’s changing lawyers with the same frequency I change underwear: once a week (whether I need to or not). He’s trying to get his bail reduced from $3 million.

The media is petitioning the court to release the grand jury indictment against him. His father has hired a lawyer to watch the other lawyers. Geez, if Michael isn’t careful, he’s gonna be too busy to climb trees and get more plastic surgery.

His $3 million bail is the latest issue. The prosecution is worried that Michael might decide to jump bail and high-tail it out of the country, so they think his bail shouldn’t be lowered. That sort of makes sense. I’m sure he’s in demand all over the world.

What if, for example, Spain needed someone to hold children over a balcony, but they also needed a washed-up pop star. They could fill both positions with one simple man. Mr. Jackson fits the bill. Forget extraditing him.

Hell, they’d be recruiting him. Sure, Michael Jackson has a very specific resume, but he could be a perfect match for the right country.

He continues to say he’s innocent, and if that’s the case, you may ask, why would he consider running away? A really big reason would be fear of prison, I would imagine.

In the prosecution motion to keep his bail at $3 million, they state, “The defendant here is ‘Michael Jackson, international celebrity,’ a man whose lifestyle to date would not have prepared him to adapt readily to a prison environment and routine, and whose physical stature will present its own problems for him in making the necessary adjustments.”

That’s pretty tough talk. I’m not sure how many folks out there have a lifestyle that has prepared them to adapt to a prison environment.

Yeah, I suppose there are some out there who have been constantly raped, tattooed and kept in cells, but c’mon, no one is ever really prepared for prison.

I get the point, though. Life behind bars

would not be a good option for Michael.

Forget about the usual stuff. You wouldn’t need to jab the King of Pop with a shiv. My guess is jabbing him in the thigh with a toothpick would have him crying his ass off for three days. Plus, you know the guys in cell block D are gonna love that high voice and those high cheek bones.

They can pretend they’re having sex with Diana Ross or even that Gollum freak from The Lord of the Rings. It’s hard to imagine, but he might be an even bigger bitch in prison than on the outside.

So, if he can’t leave the country and he can’t survive prison, what’s a poor pop star to do?

His only chance is to be found not guilty. It’ll be hard to find a jury of his peers since the carnival doesn’t really have a freak show anymore, so his lawyers are going to have to bamboozle 12 regular people. Michael’s father just wants to make sure Michael isn’t being bamboozled at the same time.

The elder Jackson has hired Debra Opri to watch the trial for him or as he puts it, to be his “extra pair of eyes.” I get the feeling she wants to be a little more than that, though. ``At this point, I’m representing family interests,’’ she said. ``Joseph loves his son and wants to be kept updated on everything.’’

See, that’s a good idea. I have an even better one. Maybe he should have hired someone to keep an eye on his son when children were around him in the first place. Well, I understand, I guess. It’s easier to deal with a problem than to stop it.

I get the feeling, though, that the extra set of eyes has bigger fish to fry. ``I am a person who believes in justice and I believe Michael Jackson is innocent,’’ she said. ``I don’t believe that he has the capacity to formulate a criminal intent ... I just think I can help.’’

Wow, she’s really good with the lawyer speak. He can’t be guilty because he’s a nutcase. I have to say, that’s the soundest argument I’ve heard so far. What she’s really saying is, I want a chunk of that money the Jacksons are passing out.

Poor Michael, everyone is looking out for everything except him. I’d almost feel bad for him and the punishment he should receive, if only he didn’t deserve a whole lot worse than he’ll probably ever get.

Michael Coulter is a videographer, comedian and creator of the weekly email column “The Sporting Life.”

3

News of the weird Lead story New Frontiers in Charity Fund-Raising: Norwegian activists Tommy Hol Ellingsen and his girlfriend, seeking new funding sources for the environmental movement, created a Web site earlier this year that charges visitors about US$15 a month to view pornographic photos of the couple, with all profits to benefit environmental organizations (although some were reported ethically reluctant to accept their money).

And in January, a 33-year-old British woman, “Vix,” who has multiple sclerosis, created a Web site featuring topless photos of herself and asking visitors to donate to the UK’s MS Resource Centre. (Business is slow on both sites: As of April, Ellingsen reported only 200 visitor-months, and Vix had raised the equivalent of US$6,000 from about 100 of the site’s 125,000 visitors.)

Update In 1990, News of the Weird reported on a World War II “cargo cult” on Tanna, one of the 83 islands comprising the republic of Vanuatu (located between Papua New Guinea and Fiji). Such cults are known for regarding as magical the food and supplies that Americans brought to military staging areas on the

islands, and they continued to pray for more “cargo” for decades after Americans left.

In May, according to a report in the Sydney Morning Herald, violence broke out on Tanna when Christian breakaways, calling the cargo business nonsense, fought with supporters of “John Frum,” the iconic American whom the cultists worship.

About 25 people were hospitalized, according to police dispatched from Vanuatu’s capital of Vila.

Super-recidivists According to police in Atlanta in January, Nathaniel Lee Stanley, 20, just released from jail, walked out and immediately carjacked a woman in the jail’s parking lot (and was later returned to jail). And Ms. Kelly J. Handy, 37, who posted bond on burglary charges in Wheat Ridge, Colo., in March, picked up the wig and clothing that had been taken from her on her arrest, then went into a restroom, created a new look, and, according to police, immediately began stealing from residential mailboxes near the jail.

Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 or WeirdNews@earthlink.net

COPYRIGHT 2004 Chuck Shepherd Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate

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R.I.P., TONY RANDALL | MAY27 - JUNE 2, 2004 buzz

TOP OF THE NINTH

insidebuzz

editor’snote

4 The option of family

M

MARISSA MONSON EDITOR IN CHIEF

The Story

usic shows in arenas drive me crazy. The majority of the audience sits so far from the stage they have to watch the show on the complimentary big screen or through binoculars. Instead of paying an arm and a leg for the really good seats, they pay an arm for the really crappy seats. The prices are outrageous, and the sound tends to be sub-par.

Granted, I have enjoyed a few arena shows from time to time, Prince, Paul Simon, Brian Wilson, Bob Dylan. But, I did spend most of the time squinting at the stage thinking – I paid to see this live, and I am not going to look at that screen. However, these shows are necessary evils for anyone who wants to go out and see those great artists making one last round of touring.

Ramona has never been a morning person. But today at 5:30 a.m., as her 20-month-old son twists his tiny fingers around her silver-streaked hair and even sticks them up her nose as...

Arts 6 Broadway’s answer to the Oscars Every year since 1947, the American Theatre Wing has bestowed honors on Broadway shows that have earned a level of excellence. They are the...

Music 8 First day back with Braid Almost like a phoenix rising from the ashes, Braid has resurrected from the dust of Champaign-Urbana’s 1999 music scene. Some thought it would...

We are pretty lucky here. Not only are Champaign-Urbana’s favorites, Braid, kicking off a tour here with two shows, but they are playing them in two very different ven-

Calendar 10 The Windy City gets the blues In a couple of weeks, head north to the city for the Chicago Blues Festival June 10-13. Every year, the festival is packed with rhythm...

Film

15 Shrek 2 : a sequel worth seeing Three years ago, the widly successful Shrek threatened to be the nail in the coffin of the already struggling Disney drawing department, which hadn’t...

PHOTO COURTESY OF | MIKE LYTHCOTT AND BRAID

BUZZ STAFF Volume 2, Number 17 COVER PHOTO courtesy of Nathan Keay and Braid

Editor in chief Marissa Monson Art Directors Meaghan Dee & Carol Mudra Copy Chief Chris Ryan Music Jacob Dittmer Art Katie Richardson Film Paul Wagner Community Emily Wahlheim Calendar Maggie Dunphy Photography Editor Christine Litas Calendar Coordinators Cassie Conner, Erin Scottberg Photography Christine Litas, Roderick Gedey Copy Editors Chris Ryan Designers Glenn Cochon, Chris Depa, Jacob Dittmer Production Manager Theon Smith Sales Manager John Maly Marketing/Distribution Melissa Schleicher, Maria Erickson Publisher Mary Cory

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Copyright Illini Media Company 2004

ues, Caffe Paradiso will be the spot for one all ages show, and The Highdive, one of Champaign’s best clubs will be the other show’s location. The sound alone is enough to convince anyone to go see a show there.

Aside from that, there will be other shows in town that won’t cost $60 and a pair of binoculars. Guided by Voices is making a stop in Champaign on their final tour. This is something special, and it is right in our backyard. Chicago band Local H will hit up the Canopy Club this summer as well.

The local music scene and DJ circuit are alive this summer, and there is always a good show to see. So, instead of popping the big bucks on a show that is only cool from the first 20 rows. Go to a local show or a bigger act that stops in the area.

You may be surprised.

-M.M.

odds & end

buzz MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004 | STAPLES DON’T MAKE FOR GOOD HOT DOG TOPPINGS

Two perfect games Hebrew National hot dog becomes 2ON2OUT staple

BY ADAM AND SETH FEIN | 2ON2OUT

T

he 2ON2OUT would like to make a confession. We love Kevin Costner within the confines of baseball films.

Field of Dreams would easily make both of our all time favorite lists. Bull Durham always throws a strike. Even For the Love of the Game was worth the watch. The latter deals with an aging pitcher, down in his game and looking for an answer to satisfy the burning question that most ballplayers eventually face: Was playing this game worth it? In the movie, his question is answered as he is shown over the course of nine innings—Hollywood flashbacks aplenty—doing the virtually impossible: throwing a perfect game.

For those of you who don’t know, a perfect game is completed when all 27 batters are retired without one of them reaching first base safely. It has only happened 17 times now in more than a century of baseball. It is the single greatest accomplishment a pitcher can earn in a single game and, in our opinions, the finest accomplishment in any sport, period.

Neither of us ever hit a home run. The trot eluded us as we are small men who hit for average, not for power. The older of us went a whole season and didn’t make one error in the field. That’s Golden Glove material. The younger of us once threw a no-hitter, which is to say not one batter got to first on a hit, yet some reached on walks while others reached on errors.

It’s these parts of the game that makes it so enjoyable. You watch the season progress and every year landmarks are reached and records are broken. It is the only guarantee. The 2ON2OUT would like to give Randy Johnson, otherwise known as “The Big Unit,” a hearty standing ovation for his incredible performance last week against the Atlanta Braves in the Dirty Dirty, becoming the oldest person to throw a perfect game at the tender age of 40.

Now on the home front, it’s back to the top for Chicago in both leagues.

Last week brought remarkable performances by both squads. A quick cheers to the White Sox who took three of four from the Twinkies to move into a first place tie. The 17-run outburst yesterday was fun to watch. If this team can find a stable fifth starter, they’re in good shape.

Ho-kay, so! On to Cubs vs. Cards, round two. Round one was split 2-2 and round two started in favor of the Redbirds thanks to a shaky performance by rookie Sergio Mitre, who forgot how to pitch in the second inning, uncorking two wild pitches and allowing the Cardinals to take an early lead they would not relinquish. Saturday, however, was different.

It was a special day, to say the least. It was the first time in our memory that we attended a Cubs game and didn’t have to sweat the ending. Yes, the 2ON2OUT was in attendance, sitting in the lower deck under the mezzanine, right between the mound and first base, which was well worth the four hours spent on the Internet in February.

First of all, it was supposed to rain and it didn’t. Second, we sat down right next to a loud-ass Cardinal fan who could dish it, but also take it. This made the game even more enjoyable as we traded shots throughout the game with the portly St. Louis fan.

“Glendon is Cy Young!” he kept yelling.

“C’mon, Pee-Pee Alou!” (Hey, he pisses on his hands, but I don’t care what he does, the guy can rake). Retorts were easy as the Cubbies ripped the aging Woody Williams for four runs in the first inning. We simply cheered louder when Hollandsworth torched a tworun shot onto Sheffield Avenue to make the game 6-1 in the third.

By the fifth inning, the St. Louis fan had taken to making fun of the Cardinal staff, calling the first base coach “Coach Mullet” as we discussed Julian Tavarez and his Pennzoil soaked hat. By the eighth, we confidently turned to each other and speaking with enough Old Style confidence, proclaimed, “I’m not worried about this one.” Now it takes a lot for me to say anything about the score before the last out is recorded, but this one was in the bag. After all, Glendon had treated the feared offense of the Redbirds like he was Cy Young himself (7 2/3, 1 ER, 9K) and I had actually been able to digest that Hebrew National Diamond Dog that I chose to devour before knowing how easy this game would be.

No Tums needed. What a day; an (almost) perfect game.

The series ended with a cherry (or should I say grilled onions?) on top for Cubby fans.

Once again, the home team scored four runs in the first, this time it was an Aramis three-run laser. The Cards made it closer at the end, but Blue-Collar Joe-Bo finished his 22nd straight save opportunity, extending the club record.

Any naysayers about the closer should remind themselves that a save is a save.

Cubs 4, Cards 3: the same score as the overall series and a fitting end to a great weekend.

The 2ON2OUT are Seth and Adam Fein and would like to denounce Donald Rumsfeld and his policies. They also denounce any hot dog that isn’t kosher.

Family continued from Page 5

“Of all my relatives, I’d say she’s absolutely our biggest supporter,” Ramona says. “She doesn’t necessarily always get it, but she’s really trying.”

Allie is the worrier in this family. This morning, a large rectangular mirror fastened above the rearview mirror of Allie and Ramona’s car allows her to see Jacob at every second on their trip to Meadowbrook Park in Urbana after dropping off Ramona. Allie’s eyes flit from road to mirror, mirror to road.

It’s 9:30 a.m. and the air at Meadowbrook Park carries a slight chill. Its mazes of wooden corridors lead to brightly colored slides and wooden bridges lead to more corridors, all empty. Allie plucks Jacob from the car, sets him solidly on her hip and marches toward the jungle gyms.

“Ready?” she asks, and sets him loose.

Like Ramona, Allie didn’t come out as a lesbian to her parents. “You have to come out first to people you’re not close to so you don’t care so much when they reject you.” The first person Allie told was the guy who beset her with crank phone calls in 7th grade. The next year, she told her good male friends. “At that age, you can pretend you didn’t say it or they can pretend they didn’t hear it. ‘No, I’m just kidding. No, I am. No, I’m not.’ “ Her parents found out a little later. When she was 16, her girlfriend’s mother called her mother, demanding someone put a stop to their romance. Allie’s mother badgered and blamed Allie’s father. “Don’t you feel awful that she’d reject all men because of you?” she asked him. She asked Allie not to tell her grandmother. In the end, Allie’s grandmother died before she told her the truth.

But now—no more hiding. Allie invited everyone she knew to the commitment ceremony in 1994. Now both of Allie’s parents are much more supportive of their relationship.

They make a trip from New York every other month to see their grandson.

At Meadowbrook, Jacob tears around with Allie close at hand. He breaks into a huge grin as he climbs the curly stairways to the tall slides. When he reaches the top, he says, “Sit” aloud and then sits, just like Ramona and Allie have taught him, to keep him from toppling headfirst to the bottom.

“Hi, beautiful,” Allie says as he slides.

Despite the ordinary routine of this family, Jacob will likely face problems most other little boys will never face. Ramona, a social scientist, researches similar families to discover the challenges she, Allie and Jacob need to brace themselves for. She looks in vain. Ramona doesn’t find most of the research helpful. “I’m really frustrated by the research emphasis on, ‘Well, the kids of lesbians don’t have any more behavior problems.’ That’s not my concern,” she says.

Ramona and Allie have other concerns. Will Jacob be bullied and harassed?

19

“It worries me a great deal,” Ramona says.

“I never even thought about it until I had my son. Having a child puts everything in a different perspective.”

A low wooden bar in the play area abruptly ends Jacob’s youthful energy. He hits his head in the middle of a hopping frenzy. Allie scoops him up, holds him close to her chest and sits down with him in her lap in one of the gazebos in the middle of the playground.

“Say bye bye,” she tells him as they leave the park, and he does, opening and closing his hand in its direction.

Jacob’s youth makes it difficult for Ramona and Allie to know about future difficulties.

“He just really hasn’t had to deal with much of anything yet,” Ramona says. “At this point, he’s so young that we control his environment completely.”

When considering the future, Allie is brazen, determined: “We will advocate for our kid, and if that means coming out all over the place and insisting that people show him respect and show us respect, then I guess we will have to do that.” Ramona agrees, and adds, “We know the local culture tends to resolve issues quietly, but frankly we prefer to speak out.”

Ramona and Allie see change looming in Champaign County. They know a few lesbian families—and several happen to have kids almost the same age as Jacob. As Jacob and his friends get older, they will descend on the schools. “Schools are going to have to rise to the occasion,” Allie says.

The best Ramona and Allie can do right now is to plan—plan on ways to keep Jacob the smiling, singing and dancing child he is now.

And that is one thing about Jacob—he loves to dance. He dances at home to everything, but all who happen to be at Lincoln Square on Saturdays for the Farmer’s Market get to see his steps first-hand. The market is loud and buoyant, brimming with activity and laughter.

Neighbors chat, kids tug on moms’ arms to get those cookies or that cinnamon roll. Allie and Ramona take turns pushing Jacob in his stroller. They stop and chat with Kathy, the midwife who delivered Jacob, as they pass one tent. They wave at Jacob’s swim instructor as they pass another.

One more familiar stop—the music man, an old guy with a long gray beard, a craggy face and a big grin that sends breaks across his chapped lips resides in his usual spot right in the middle of the Farmer’s Market.

Tambourines are strapped to his feet, bells to his arms. He plays a horn with one hand and rhythmically taps and bleats out “songs” that put a skip to your step, and to Jacob’s. Ramona collects him out of his stroller. He knows what to do. His little legs look like rubber bands, stretching and releasing. He hunches over, a grin on his round face. Allie starts doing the twist and Ramona hops along, imitating Jacob’s little-boy dance.

Strangers stop on all sides and smile at the spectacle. Vendors stop vending, people stop buying, and other kids join in, taking visual tips from Jacob. If a lesbian couple bothers anyone in the crowd, they do not let on. buzz

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5:33 PM

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odds & end

ANNOYING MAN SAYS,“I LOVE YOU” | MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2004 buzz

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CHICAGO REVIEW I Never Sang For My Father Page 6

Q & A with Kevin Hales

Page 4