Buzz Magazine: June 7, 2007

06 | 07 | 07 . 06 | 14 | 07 s o u n d s f r o m t h e s c e n e FREE

w e e k l y

champaign . urbana

INK WELL PG 10

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A TALE OF SORDID AFFAIRS

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PAGE MCCONNELL’S SOLO FLIGHT

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A LITTLE COMIC RELIEF

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volume

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no.23

Cover Design • Maria Surawska Cover Photo • Amelia Moore Editor in Chief • Tatyana Safronova Art Director • Nikita Sorokin Copy Chief • Whitney A. Harris Listen, Hear • Caitlin Cremer Stage, Screen & in Between • Keri Carpenter Around Town • Stephanie Prather CU Calendar • Alyssa Vale Photography Editor • Amelia Moore Designer • Maria Surawska Photography • Amelia Moore, Nikita Sorokin Copy Editors • Will Kurlinkus Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Mike Ingram, Brian McGovern, Kim Rice, Ross Wantland Sales Manager • Mark Nattier Marketing/Distribution • Brandi Wills Publisher • Mary Cory

TALK TO BUZZ

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UNDER THE COVER |1-3| 3 3 3 | 4- 5| 4 | 6-9| 6 7 7 8 | 10-11| 10

INTRO This Modern World Life in Hell First Things First

AROUND TOWN Monk’s Tale of Champaign’s Sordid Affairs

LISTEN, HEAR Me, Myself & McConnell Spin it/Flip it/Reverse it Editor’s Picks CU Sound Revue

THE HOOPLA The ‘Inked’ Club

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13 on the web: www.readbuzz.com 14 e-mail: buzz@readbuzz.com write: 512 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820 | 15-16, 20 | call: 217.337.3801 15 We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish 16 a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to 20 publication date.

20 Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of | 17-18| the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

STAGE, SCREEN & IN BETWEEN Caution: Comics Comin’ Atcha Movie Reviews Book Review

THE STINGER Doin’ it Well Free Will Astrology Jonesin’ Crossword Likes and Gripes

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© Illini Media Company 2006 | 19|

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tatyana safronova EDITOR’S NOTE

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Voyeurism. (Curious and not necessa r i ly sex ua l — spying.) It’s what for dinner. And lunch. And it’s what’s fun nowadays — think YouTube, Google Earth, Facebook — and it’s getting pretty intense with features like AIM “Location”, which shows your chat buddies where you are, and “Street View” on what else but Google Maps, where you can see photographs of the streets you’re mapping.

A woman posted the following comment about “Street View” on the Web site boingboing.net: “The new Google Maps zoom feature zooms all the way into my living room window. See cat on cat perch. I’m all for mapping, but this feature literally gives me the shakes. I feel like I need to close all my curtains now.”

I haven’t really realized until now how shady we are. For now, “Street View” only features photos from locations in New York City, Miami, San Francisco, Las Vegas and Denver. I imagine by next month, you’ll be able to tell if we’re in our office working on the following week’s issue of buzz from the comfort of your home.

I like to think of history as voyeurism too, of sorts. Read Nikita Sorokin’s article about the

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encyclopedia-of-a-man David Monk (Around Town, pg. 4), about Monk’s strange and fascinating menagerie of historical recollection, interests and possessions, and you’ll feel like you’re sneaking around Market Street, now and decades in the past when Mike ‘n Molly’s was a speakeasy and there was a brothel on Taylor Street.

Then there is art, photography, writing.

“Photography is like blatant voyeurism,” said Nikita, who took all his own pictures for the Around Town story, of David Monk’s tiny urban prairie, his home and the animated man himself.

These are some of the few ways in which we expose ourselves to others and watch as others expose themselves to us.

Now think of tattoos for a moment. Justin McCrocklin, the assistant to Matt Stines at No Regrets Tattoo Studio, showed off his marks on our cover for our story on the downtown Champaign shop (The Hoopla, pg.10), some of the detailed portraits on his body the works of Stines. Millions of people show their interests, loves and peculiar thoughts to the public every single day with their tattoos — the tattoo artists especially proudly — and we can’t do much but stare.

So maybe voyeurism isn’t so seedy; it’s just our curiosity and wonderment at play. Needless to say, however, that all is fine and good until the whole world can see into your living room. sounds from the scene

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DEEP-FRIED EYELIDS.

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michael coulter FIRST THINGS FIRST WHEN WILL THE AVERAGE LIFE SUFFICE? The fifteen minutes of fame game I’d like to begin by telling yo u m y f a vo r i t e j o ke .

Whatever, it will hopefully make sense later on in the column, but if nothing else, you get to read a joke and possibly laugh before all the other regular column stuff begins. Actually, it really has nothing to do with any of the column, but what the hell.

A grandmother and her grandchild are walking on the beach. She’s dressed like a grandma and he has on a little sailor’s outfit. All of a sudden, the tide changes and he is pulled out into the ocean. The grandmother screams for help and a lifeguard rushes to her aid. He swims outs, dives under the water, manages to pull the child from the ocean depths and begins swimming back to shore. It’s quite an endeavor and many times on the lifeguard’s trip back in, the ocean threatens to take the lives of both him and the boy.

Finally, the lifeguard manages to pull the boy ashore. He pumps his stomach, gives him mouth to mouth, and eventually the boy responds and appears to be okay. The lifeguard picks up the recovering child and hands him to the grandmother. She looks at the lifeguard and says, “Um, he had a hat.”

So, it may not be the funniest joke I know, but it’s about the only clean one and for some reason, it’s just my favorite. I don’t mind telling it to people (though trust me it takes much longer in real life), and I don’t mind other people telling it.

Actually, that’s not completely true. I can think of one person I’d just as soon not tell it to, especially in his particular situation. That guy’s name is … you know what, I’m not even going to say it.

Suffice it to say, he’s an inmate on death row in Texas and he’s asking people to send in jokes he can consider as his last utterance. Yep, he’s trying to find a joke to tell right before they strap him down. He has about 250 of them so far.

At first, I sort of laughed when I read it. I mean, most folks can’t tell a joke right to begin with, and to put that much pressure on yourself, and the joke, as your last act seems sort of foolish.

Actually, his foolishness began when he shot both of his neighbors 16 years ago and ended up on death row, so if nothing else I suppose it proves some morons are simply not capable of being rehabilitated.

As I thought more about it though, it sort of began pissing me off. The previous rehabilitation

comment was right on the money. The guy’s just a freaking idiot and he’s making one last grasp to seem cute and get his little bit of fame. I was going to say his “15 minutes of fame” but honestly, I’m truly fucking tired of hearing that phrase. I got no problem with the guy who came up with it — Andy Warhol — but when he said it, it was meant to be an observation, not a goal for our society to aspire to.

It’s sort of sad when anyone who can bet a monkey in a game of checkers thinks they should have the spotlight, even if it’s just for a short time.

Honestly, I don’t even think you have to beat the monkey anymore. If you’re a human being, do something stupid and the press will make you sort of famous. At this point, I should probably say that I’m more than just as guilty as everyone else. I actually enjoy writing columns every so often about stupid people, like say, Paris Hilton or our president, but the more I think about it, maybe I shouldn’t.

The fact of the matter is, I almost wrote about Lindsay Lohan or Rosie O’Donnell or Donald Trump this week, but I didn’t because it just seemed like I’d be giving them the attention they desired so much. If I stop and think, I just don’t understand why the piss anyone cares about these people. They aren’t talented or special or really anything, but they manage to make enough stupid comments and do enough stupid things that we can’t seem to get enough of them.

If you think of the people who are truly great at what they do, they usually aren’t out fighting over the spotlight. Nope, the great people don’t really have time for that sort of thing because they’re busy working most of the time. The truly great people are that way because of what they do, not because of who they are, and I suppose back to the beginning premise, not because of what joke they decide to tell before they’re executed.

You know what the problem is? I can recognize the things I shouldn’t do, like write about douche bags, but I’m sure I’ll continue to do it. It’s easy and it can be kind of funny sometimes, but when it’s all said and done, I’m doing nothing more than falling into their trap. It’s creepy how so many people crave so much attention these days.

Everyone thinks they deserve to be noticed for whatever reason they can come up with. It just isn’t true. Most folks are average and there’s nothing wrong with that. It strikes me that anyone who works tirelessly to become famous is probably the last person who ever should be.

OOPS! WE MADE A MISTAKE • Although buzz strives for accuracy, we sometimes make mistakes. If you catch something we didn’t,

please let use know at buzz@readbuzz.com. When a correction is needed, it will be listed here.

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around town

NPOLÖT!UBMF! PG!DIBNQBJHOÖT! TPSEJE!BGGBJST STORY AND PHOTOS BY NIKITA SOROKIN

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n your way to the brothel and the speakeasy, look under your feet on Church Street in Downtown Champaign. Notice the fossilized railroad track pushing up through the brick that was laid over it, and through the modern cement that was laid over the brick.

“The brick street is no longer appropriate, though brick streets can last for thousands of years. Britons are still running on Roman bricks, but they have to be maintained. You have to pick them up, turn them over, pour sand under them. It takes a lot of labor, and most cities don’t want to be involved in that labor.”

David Monk is a human time-machine. The Australian-born preservationist/environmentalist/artist/scientist/historian is giving a hurricane-speed history of the 100 block of North Market Street — what was once the raunchy corridor of Champaign’s Red Light District. In the intermittent morning rain, he walks from building to building, firing off volleys of information about the minutiae components of the street: the trails and patterns left behind by mussels and worms in a piece of limestone sidewalk, the underground water cisterns buried beneath the brick road in case of fire before the time of fire engines, the heaving cracks in the buildings caused by the exptansion of building materials, the weights and uses of the giant Linotype machines that had to be

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hoisted by cranes into the Graphics Press building, the elevation of the street, the crumbling brick arches above windows, the decorative rosettes on a steel I-beam. David Monk talks, and the buildings are no longer dead monuments. They are heaving, breathing creatures. Monk resides in one of these creatures, next to WEFT 90.1 (where his radio show “The Prairie Monk” airs every Sunday from 11 a.m. to 12 p.m.), on this block, which has long ago been transformed and gentrified, its seamy underbelly shaved and dressed up.

“The Red Light District lasted until about 1936. It was a different era. The madam lived on the corner and had a liquor store. You might have observed a red door around the corner [facing North on East Taylor Street], that led up to the brothel,” Monk said, “There were iron beds, burlap between them, so much for an hour, so much for a night. There was traffic here.

It would probably abhor modern day people, but much has changed. Until recently there has been a fairly strong prostitute traffic in Champaign. And once in a while there is a round up, and the prostitutes will go to Peoria or somewhere else. There are people who are used to using that industry, and sometimes they are people who have double standards. There are lots of stories here that should never be told.”

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Before the ’50s, North Market Street was affectionately called Gambler’s Row. Here brawls abounded, and murder was not unheard of. Cops moonlighted as bouncers, throwing their knees into stomachs, putting their peacekeeping skills to good use. During the age of Prohibition, 105 North Market (The Moonlighter Building, now Mike ’n Molly’s) was a speakeasy.

The second floor connected to 101 North Market (The Seely Johnson Building, now home to Seven Saints) then a gambling den, allowing the illegally intoxicated clientele to move between a bootlegged glass of bourbon and a game of blackjack, or to make a quick exit in case of a police raid. A peephole between the two buildings, used to sort through the riffraff, still exists. The buildings occasionally cough up evidence of their not altogether wholesome past.

“There were two holes in the wall of this building that got repaired, but before they did we pulled out something like 56year-old whiskey and brandy bottles,” Monk said, showing where the wall had crumbled.

Since its service as a speakeasy, 105 North Market has been a biker bar, a hot dog saloon and a lesbian bar. 101 Market later became Johnson’s Sport Shop, which sold equipment and trophies.

The building across from Mike ’n Molly’s was most recently sounds from the scene

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I THINK IT’S WRONG THAT ONLY ONE COMPANY MAKES THE GAME MONOPOLY.

home to Habitat for Humanity, but now sits abandoned. The large display windows that face west are boarded up and painted green.

The building once was a Willy’s car dealership (a predecessor of Jeep), and behind the windows were displayed the shiny new models.

“Inside there is a large water hoist [an elevator that runs on water pressure] to get cars to the second floor,” Monk said. “It still works. People will come around occasionally and make sure it still works. Because the building is built for vehicles, it is all concrete, a sort of space that would be good for art and interpretation.”

Next to the abandoned car garage is the home of one of Champaign’s first grocery stores, the Eisner Grocery. Traces of the business remain painted onto the brick, faded with age and concealed by ivy, but still distinguishable. A bizarre new addition has been slapped onto the facade of the historic building: a white rectangular block.

“Albert Eisner owned the grocery store. He had his name on the corner. If you step back, you can see the signs: Potatoes, Lemons, Oranges. And you see

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Uifsf!bsf!mput!pg!tupsjft!ifsf! uibu!tipvme!ofwfs!cf!upme/! Ñ!Ebwje!Npol! the name across the top. Before Eisner had it, you can see, Wagner and Son. They had lots of horses, and if you had a building to build in Rockford, he could take 30 or 40 horses to carry the load. These guys would come in with early steam shovels. Lots of delivery activities … The windows have been remodeled. They’ve taken the eyebrows off. If you would do something historic, you would put the eyebrows back on. These ones have keystones. You put an arch up and you put in a keystone. Sometimes you have strange additions that don’t really do the buildings justice historically.” Monk motions at the white rectangular block, “We’ve always been encouraging that to disappear … have you seen the prairie?”

This photo of North Market Street ran in the Evening Courier in 1937. The caption read: It is called Market Street, and is also known as “Gamblers’ Row” because on the left side are three handbook betting establishments and three gambling rooms. It handles a large portion of the more than one million dollars that is bet in this community a year. PHOTO COURTESY URBANA FREE ARCHIVES

Hidden between the abandoned car dealership and the Eisner Grocery is one of Monk’s creations — a mini prairie ecosystem. He walks down a narrow path leading between the lush plant life and out onto a view of Chestnut Street.

“There were two big signs there,” he points to the southeast end of the Eisner building, “30 feet long and huge. The city sign ordinance changed and they grandfathered the signs for 10 years. Then they had to reduce them to a small size.

One night the signs were taken out. We decided to work with the space. This is a sample of a prairie forest ecosystem. Herbs, wild ginger plants, serviceberries, they have vines growing through them, different marang. Here is the forest edge, where the birds are, wetland. This club grass likes to have wet feet.”

Washed of its questionable past, David Monk’s mini-prairie ecosystem is hidden between a derelict car Market Street is now home to dealership and former grocery store. PHOTO BY NIKITA SOROKIN perhaps the world’s smallest prairie. Monk planted together a total work of art. A paintbrush with a and takes care of the whole lot. His love for the face hangs on the wall, a gift from the artist Mr. prairie ecosystem has been the cause of numerous Imagination. Monk is lecturing an inept phone other projects to save the unique landscape company representative. Another interviewer around the region. He arrived in Champaign knocks on the door to have a word with him from rural Australia to fi nd more than 600,000 about the downtown parking situation, but acres of the prairie in Champaign County lost to withdraws, seeing your narrator armed with a expanding farms or destroyed by development. camera and tape recorder — a device which has Heartland Pathways, a non-profit preservation proven to be of utmost importance, as Monk the organization founded by Monk in 1987 has since raconteur tirelessly recites entire encyclopedias. then reclaimed more than 33 square miles (330 Busy busy busy. acres) of prairie land in Central Illinois.

With today’s time-war p/ecolog y lesson For more information about David Monk’s concluded, Monk is now in his off ice on the developing projects, visit his site, www. telephone, surrounded by newspaper clippings, prairiemonk.org. Tune into his Prairie Monk radio old photographs, screen prints, dried plants, show on WEFT 90.1 FM on Sunday mornings thrones of found and reclaimed objects, all of it from 11 a.m.-12 p.m. Here’s to the prairie!

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listen, hear

ME, MYSELF & MCCONNELL Following his recent solo album release, former keyboardist for Phish gets to sit back, relax and put on his own show CARLYE WISEL • STAFF WRITER

PHOTO CREDIT: SHANE MCCAULEY

I

f there’s one thing Page McConnell deserved three years ago, it was some time off. After 21 years of performing, 13 studio-recorded albums and 1,426 live shows, Phish, the genre-blending, lyrically bizarre jam band with a cult-like following, had decided to call it quits. Though breaking up broke the hearts of fans and free spirits worldwide, the newfound freedom allowed keyboardist McConnell to come into himself, and turn over a new leaf both musically and personally.

Immediately after Coventry, Phish’s two-day, six-set farewell concert festival in August 2004, each of the four members were faced with a blank slate. While former band mates Trey Anastasio and Mike Gordon began working on individual albums that would be released the following year, Page McConnell had his own agenda — none.

“I really just kinda wanted to relax for a while,” he said.

“It was a time of intense reflection, probably, looking back on our accomplishments and the band and all the things I was able to do being a part of that group. [There was] certainly some sadness, but a lot of pride and joy from it.”

After a period of self-described “decompression,” McConnell began to consider what his next step would be as a solo artist.

Now, just weeks after the release of his self-titled album, it’s slightly ironic when Page admits that at the project’s start, he was unsure of what it would become.

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get in a situation where I could be making music on my own where I didn’t need … well, I didn’t have a band,” he said.

“I didn’t have a record deal or anything, really, but I also didn’t want to be traveling away from home right away, so that was what was left for me.”

In what would be the start of the year-and-a-half-long recording process — something he considers to be “a long time in this day and age to work on a project” — McConnell began to build a basic home studio. With the help of co-producer Jared Slomoff, Page did most of his composing and writing with a keyboard, at a laptop, or while sitting on a couch. Time was not of the essence, though — the process was slow and steady, which allowed for him to enjoy both the experience and its results.

“As the project went along, it almost became easier. The songs started coming out a bit more quickly,” he explained. “I had more material, and I sort of felt like what I was working on was a worthwhile endeavor.”

While modifying the same material for over a year may seem frustrating or repetitive, for McConnell it was more of a challenge.

Letting his inner optimism shine through, he remarked amidst laugher, “If you live with the material for a while and it still holds up, then you don’t feel so apprehensive about putting out there.”

If there was a part of the process that McConnell considered difficult, though, it was coming to terms with himself as an artist.

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didn’t have so much to do with writing the album, but me just sort of identifying myself as this person outside of this larger entity for which I was known for such a long time,” he confessed. “Maybe [I hadn’t] even [been] realizing how much a part of my identity I viewed myself as ‘the guy from Phish’ for so many years. I’m proud of it and love it and still love the band and all the guys, but it’s nice to be able to move on and consider myself as something other than that artistically.”

And he has. A photo of a laughing McConnell next to a ’70sesque logo of his name on the album’s cover directly contrasts Undermind, Phish’s final album featuring each member’s face on its cover, or even the band’s silhouette fish symbol famously plastered on T-shirts, water bottles and car bumpers belonging to die-hard fans. But despite the cover’s physical acknowledgements of going solo, McConnell wasn’t planning to conquer recording completely alone. After 14 months of working alone with synthesizers and drum programming equipment, Page began to add other musicians into the mix, including guitarist Adam Zimmon and, most notably, renowned drummer Jim Keltner.

“I had not met him before we started recording, and that fell immediately into place,” McConnell said of Keltner, who has previously worked with such legends as Bob Dylan, Steely Dan, Eric Clapton and John Lennon. “[It] was probably exciting in a certain way because first of all, he was kind of a hero of mine, and also because it did go so well ... every step of the process was exciting, but I don’t think there was anything quite as exciting as the live tracking we did with Jim Keltner.”

Despite the new collaborations, McConnell also stuck to his roots — each of the album’s nine tracks features at least one additional member of Phish, something McConnell is surprisingly modest about.

“I really appreciated that those guys wanted to play with me and were willing to and made the time and contributed,” he said.

While a collaboration between any two Phish bandmates instantly sparks the obvious “Will they get back together?” question in a fan’s mind, nothing on Page McConnell does more to fuel the mysterious fire than “Back in the Basement.” Featuring both Mike Gordon and Trey Anastasio, the only lyric-less track on the album highlights fantastic keyboard-driven melodies and a glimpse of what the future could bring. Unfortunately, the reunion bubble is partially burst when McConnell explains that drummer Jon Fishman only recorded for a few afternoons, bassist Gordon for two days, and guitarist Anastasio for one morning — all over the course of a year and a half.

“The time that we spent together wasn’t that great, [but] their contribution was,” McConnell said. “Their playing was great, and just sort of having them there maybe was a transition for me in some ways.”

Though making the record allowed McConnell to create music with little help from his friends, perhaps the most difficult postPhish transition awaits. Joined by guitarists/album contributors Adam Zimmon and Jared Slomoff, bassist Rob O’Dea and drummer Gabe Jarrett, McConnell’s upcoming 21-date tour in medium-sized venues around the country is a stark change from the outdoor festivals, sold-out arenas and extensive touring that Phish is known for. Luckily, he is comfortable with moving on and enthusiastic about moving forward.

“The band that I have assembled now that I’m going to be touring with is a great bunch of guys,” he said. “It’s actually coming together really well, and I’ve got really high hopes for this group. We all seem to have a great chemistry and we’re communicating well, so hopefully that will translate.”

Wherever his musical talent and solo endeavors take him, McConnell still knows where credit is due.

“It would have been difficult had I not had success with the band,” he said, chuckling. “I don’t really know what I would have done.”

Now, though, after recording an album and proving to the world what he can do, odds are that McConnell will be just fine on his own.

Don’t miss Page McConnell at the Vic Theatre in Chicago, Ill. on June 13. Tickets are $29 and available at www.victheatre.com. sounds from the scene

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MMMM WHACHA SAY...

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SPIN IT ROUND, FLIP IT AND REVERSE IT

Knocking up and leaking out — summer movies, artist rights and getting icky BRIAN MCGOVERN

;G> ?JC -I=

BONEYARD JAZZ QUINTET 5.30-7.30 DJ TIM WILLIAMS 9.30-2.00

• STAFF WRITER

Th is ha s noth i ng to do with music, but see K n o ck ed U p. It was probably the best comedy I’ve seen since I don’t even k now when. At least since Black Knight starring Mar t in Law rence, I’d say. But in all seriousness, it was fantastic in every way. What was particularly great was how it met and then exceeded my expectations.

It was probably the movie I anticipated with the most excitement this summer and left the theater totally satisfied.

The summer months not only bring a gazillion sequels and comedies to the big screen (Rise of the Silver Surfer, holla!), but also a bunch of new records. Most anticipated by myself, and anyone that matters, is the nonsensically titled White Stripes record, Icky Thump.

The album will hit stores on June 19 and after hearing their fi rst single of the same name, that Tuesday can’t come soon enough. Maybe one of the best Stripes’ radio songs for a very long time “Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground,� the organ swirling mess indicates only good can come from the album.

This past week in Chicago, radio listeners got to hear Icky Thump in its entirety a little bit early. It took a lot of people by surprise, including Mr. Jack White himself. At 2 p.m., Q101, the

alternative station that plays everything from Linkin Park to Peter Bjorn and John, broke from the rotation to play the album track for track.

The album hadn’t leaked on the Internet, believe it or not, so this was the fi rst chance the public had to hear the album. Not a band or label supported promotion by any means, the radio station took it upon themselves to play this album weeks before its release just for kicks.

It was all well and good until a couple hours later, Jack White phoned in to the station long distance from Spain spitting venom. On all accounts a totally bizarre situation, it’s hard to figure out what to think.

On one hand it’s pretty sweet that a DJ would ignore the confi ning restrictions of her Clear Channel employer and play not only fantastic music but also an entire, from what I’m told, fantastic album. She also kind of disregarded the music industry machine and Warner Records by playing one of their CDs without any permission.

The DJ basically stuck it to three groups I despise the most; radio industry, record industry and the punks who really wanted to hear Godsmack on their lunch break.

On the other hand there are artists’ rights and all that to deal with. Jack White has a legitimate right to be livid. His art was presented in a way that he didn’t approve of. A week before, according to a blog comment, the same Q101 DJ, Electra, played the entire new Linkin Park album one afternoon and it went completely unnoticed.

Turn it up!

H6I ?JC .I=

102 S Neil Champaign

No one cares about Linkin Park, not even their fans (they’re too preoccupied with puberty and bagging groceries). But when a respected artist gets involved it becomes a debate. People who steal music and download leaks take Jack’s side because of his credibility.

It’s selective morality, really. If a station played all of Trapped in the Closet by R. Kelly it’d be hilarious and awesome. He’s a pedophile and a joke so it’s OK to misuse his work, just like Linkin Park (minus the pedophilia?).

Next to Thom Yorke, Jack White will be seen as one of the most important musicians of our modern era, but looking beyond that what does this whole fi asco mean for music as a whole?

I really have no clue, but a respected man of music like Jack White, someone who seems to stand for going against the grain, to tell a radio station trying to do something new and different that it can’t under his watch, is shady to me. Bossing around a radio station, like a major label goon?

Is his music autobiographical? It seems like he’s being a pimp and a prostitute too.

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CAITLIN CREMER • MUSIC EDITOR

Another f ind, Monaural Voice’s Air, is alluring in its jazzy broken beat, and her voice is simply sexy. I actually downloaded this album on accident thinking I was downloading another artist, but this has been my favorite mistake in the past month — her fi rst song, “Inside the Castle,� is by far the best and a good choice for a test-taste if you’re looking for a download. Up next: an older but g reat a lbu m, Talkie Wa lk i e by A i r, i s , well, perfect. Perfect to sleep to, perfect to groove to, perfect to write to ... a perfect collection of moodenhancing, futuristic and sweeping song s

whistlers mother THE CONFINES

THE LIFE AND TIMES

EDITOR’S PICKS Electronic tracks that rock my world Hot Chip: a deliciously talented group of quirky dudes who have recently compiled an album, DJ Kicks, featuring var ious rem ixes of their favorite artists — and one of their own creations which you can download for free (!) on their Web site. Actually, a lot of Hot Chip’s music reminds me of my next pick, which is a collaboration between German artists Apparat a nd E l len A l l ien, called Orchestra of Bubbles. Why is this album so special? Its pop-like tunes and pulsating beats are razor-sharp in their ent icing (elect ro)house aesthetics.

AB S E NT S TAR

that leave you in a tranqui l izing state of peace. Fi n a l ly, R at at at brings up the rear with a psychedelic, entirely danceable, beat.

The album, Classics, r e f i n e s R a t a t a t ’s instrumental abilities, and produces some songs that hit the mark when it comes to a fun, pop-like party song. Their song “Lex� is very similar to the beats of Montreal. Check it out, if you’re a fan.

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YES! YES! YES! YES!

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cu sound revue MIKE INGRAM

WHAT!?!?! OKAY!!!! Seriously, enough already DJs seem to have claimed victor y over Thursday this week. Barfly will be bouncing with a free show from Chris O, spinning all kinds of house goodness from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m.

Over at the Highdive, DJ TwinScin and DJ Copper Top will be dropping all sorts of dark techno, ebm (I don’t even know what that means!) and industrial starting at 10 p.m. with a $5 cover. I don’t give DJs a lot of love, generally, but my love for DJs knows no bounds — even the radio ones. Plus, writing about them gives me the opportunity to talk about stuff that I clearly know nothing about. Win-win in my book.

A s t h is is sue goes to pr i nt, ea rly bi rd fest iva l pa sses for th is yea r’s P yg ma l ion Music Festival are on sale at http://2007. pygmalionmusicfestival.com for $35. There will be a limited number offered, so get yours quickly. Want to know what you’re getting yourself into? Well, confirmed headliners for this year’s fest include Andrew Bird, Okkervil River, Owen and Headlights. Other acts lined up include Shapes and Sizes, Bound Stems, Unwed Sailor, elsinore and many more.

Kayla Brown, formerly a DJ herself (come on, who has seen DJ LilBigBass in the last year?), will play her guitar and sing for you at Aroma Café.

That’s right, Thursday means music at Aroma — possibly even out on the patio if the weather is nice.

Aroma offers this to you free of charge, so come out and have some coffee and enjoy some live music.

Chicago songstress Monica Del Castillo will round out the show, which runs from 8-10 p.m.

The Embassy Tavern in downtown Urbana is making a comeback as a live music space.

Under new ownership, the bar is taking steps to book acts and make itself home to musicians and bar-goers. Jeremy Harper will play a free show on Friday as part of a kick-off of the new direction, starting at 9:30 p.m. Stay tuned for more info on the Embassy.

DJs strike again as the Highdive will play host to country music all night long with DJ Stifler. That’s right, that country night that you usually go to on Wednesday will take place on Friday this week. Is there enough Gretchen Wilson and Kenny Chesney music to cover that much time guys?

The Canopy Club will play host to a rockin’ show on Friday as well — though I doubt you’ll get to hear any country songs. Rock-tastic duo Triple Whip will ... rock! Now full-band Lucky Mulholland will ... be a full band! Ugh, what a horrible paragraph. Kate Hathaway and 5th Floor Mercy also play. 9 p.m., $5.

Elsewhere on Fr id ay you’ve got M i ke Mangione and Steele Rose at the Iron Post at 9 p.m., while rock band JAB will storm the stage at Radmakers Rock n Roll Tavern in Tolono.

Have you been to the new Radmakers?

Ror y Grennan and Jack Marck, both of the band mad mardigan, will celebrate their birthdays this Saturday at Mike ’n Molly’s.

Their band will play along with Pistol Whipt, one of Adam Wol fe’s 37 cur rently act ive bands. For only $5, you too can share in the festivities that must surely include pony rides, face painting and finger tapping.

Kelly McMorris, the man behind former CU band Ambitious Pie Party, will showcase his new project, Suddenly Ever ything, on Saturday night at the Iron Post. The show starts at 10 p.m.

Saturday night also marks the return of Wisconsin band the Wandering Sons to town, with a show at the Canopy Club. The Sons have an increasingly demanding tour schedule thanks to growing popularity, including dates with big names like Jackson Browne. For now they seem to be calling Urbana home when stopping in, but who knows, maybe they’ll decide to give downtown Champaign another shot sometime soon. I think it’s fair to say that the downtownies miss them a little. They’ll also be back to the area on June 30 to play the Homer, Ill., town festival. For Saturday’s

show, though, look for opening sets from Noah Harris (now officially a Sons member, but also a Parasol Records artist), Tunnels (Steve and Ben Ucherek) and Chad Werner. The show starts at 8 p.m. with a $7 cover.

Speaking of Steve Ucherek, his band the Living Blue will make another appearance at the Highdive on Sunday, this time playing with Black Tie Revue, The Dirty Novels and The International Theatre of War. Showtime is 9:30 p.m., with a $5 cover charge. More live music at the Highdive is a good thing.

The Canopy Club will forgo its normal “bad bands” Sunday night showcase this week to instead host San Francisco band (and Saddle Creek artist) Two Gallants. Local acts Sangamon and Roses and Sake will open. 8 p.m., $8.

This week’s WEFT Sessions act is Ryan Groff, who will be kicking off his CD release week. People in the Midwest will officially be available next Thursday (6/14) at the Highdive.

The album is being released by Parasol Records.

You can preview some of the tracks at myspace. com/ryangroffmusic, or tune in to 90.1 FM on Monday from 10-11 p.m. to hear Ryan live in the studio.

In other local music news, busy beaver Seth Fein has picked up a new artist for his Nicodemus Agency — Adam Franklin (of Swervedriver).

Seth has always been a little gooey about him, so it’s nice to see him make the snag.

Congratulations are due to Cowboy Monkey manager/bartender Tim Fahey, who will be married to Jackie Cunningham this Saturday.

Tim, the lovable bartender known for his enthusiastic “YEAH!” shouts (no, not like on Chappelle’s Show — and for those of you who still think that’s hilarious, it’s really not) when bands have finished a song, has also perfected the art of the slow clap. His wedding will be attended by many local musicians who have grown to love the man over the years.

Mike Ingram can be reached at forgottenwords@gmail.com.

GO TO WWW.READBUZZ.COM FOR MORE MUSIC! • QUICKIE WITH ADAM WOLFE • CONCERT REVIEW OF THE JOHN BUTLER TRIO

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FEATURED EVENTS Pasta, aka The Carmone Brothers Italian Food Products Corp.’s Annual Pasta Pageant

By Tom Griffin Sue Lawless, director

THIS WEEK AT

Best friends Artie and Doober work at the Carmone Brothers Italian Food Products Corporation, where each year they have entered and have lost the company’s annual pasta pageant talent contest. But this year will be different because the pair will be dressed as singing-dancing boxes of pasta! How can they lose? However, Slimy, the henchman of Artie’s bookie, is breathing down Artie’s neck for a payment he doesn’t have…will he be able to make it to their performing pasta debut? The suspense could kill you…or Artie!

Strong language Saturday, June 16 at 8pm; Sunday, June 17 at 7pm; Sunday, June 24 at 7pm; Tuesday, June 26 at 7:30pm; Friday, June 29 at 7:30pm; Friday, July 6 at 7:30pm; Wednesday, July 11 at 7:30pm; Saturday, July 14 at 8pm; Thursday, July 19 at 7:30pm; Wednesday, July 25 at 7:30pm; Saturday, July 28 at 3pm and 8pm

K R A N N E RT C E N T E R F O R T H E P E R F O R M I N G A RT S

Th Jun 7

Fr Jun 8

Summer Jazz Festival 2007 7:30pm, $5-$15

Summer Jazz Festival 2007 7:30pm, $5-$15

Th Jun 14 Krannert Uncorked with Staci Anderson 5pm, free

Studio Theatre Tuesday-Saturday: $18 / SC & Stu 15 / UI 10 Sunday & Matinee: $15 / SC & Stu 12 / UI 10 Bus Stop

By William Inge Peter Reynolds, director

Summer Piano Institute Concerts Enjoy evening concerts by summer conservatory resident instructors and students.

All concerts begin at 7:30pm Single tickets: $5-$10 Series tickets: $15-$30 Available at the door only.

Smith Memorial Hall

Mo Jun 11

Pulitzer-Prize-winning playwright William Inge’s classic comedy about the vicissitude of love and life is played out in one day at a remote Kansas diner. A group of disparate and somewhat desperate travelers are held hostage by a raging blizzard. During their journey together, some find compassion, some find understanding, and some even find love.

Richard and John Contiguglia, duo-pianists

Tu Jun 12 William Heiles, pianist and harpsichordist

Thursday, June 21 at 7:30pm; Friday, June 22 at 7:30pm; Wednesday, June 27 at 7:30pm; Saturday, June 30 at 8pm; Saturday, July 7 at 3pm and 8pm; Thursday, July 12 at 7:30pm; Sunday, July 15 at 7pm; Tuesday, July 17 at 7:30pm; Friday, July 20* at 7pm; Saturday, July 21* at 7:30pm; Thursday, July 26 at 7:30pm; Sunday, July 29 at 7pm

We Jun 13 Jeanne Stark-Jochmans, pianist

Th Jun 14

*Benefit performance

Ian Hobson, pianist

Studio Theatre Tuesday-Saturday: $18 / SC & Stu 15 / UI 10 Sunday & Matinee: $15 / SC & Stu 12 / UI 10

333.6280 8 0 0 . K C PAT I X

Patron Season Sponsors Dolores and Roger Yarbrough

Marquee performances are supported in part by the Illinois Arts Council— a state agency which recognizes Krannert Center in its Partners in Excellence Program.

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Enjoy Krannert Center to the fullest!

Intermezzo Breakfast, lunch, supper, dessert 7:30am-3:30pm on non-performance weekdays 7:30am through performances on weekdays 90 minutes before and through performances on weekends Interlude Cocktails and conversation 90 minutes before and through performances Now open at 4pm Thursday and Friday!

The Promenade Gifts, cards, candy, and more 10am-6pm Monday-Saturday One hour before to 30 minutes after performances

Corporate Power Train Team Engine

40˚ North and Krannert Center, working together to put Champaign County’s culture on the map.

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The ‘Inked’ Club

STORY AND PHOTOS BY AMELIA MOORE

Matt Stines stabs people. He is an artist, a family man, an entrepreneur. Stines used to stab people, sometimes even celebrities, in Chicago, but the people he stabbed in Chicago did not allow him the creativity he, as an artist, thirsts for. So, Stines moved back to Danville to live with his wife and son where he could have a place of his own and friends to stab with.

Matt Stines is the owner of No Regrets Tattoo Studio in Champaign. He and his assistant, Justin McCrocklin, are helping people to embrace a lifestyle which has gained a mass following in pop culture. At No Regrets Tattoo Studio these two artists work with clients to produce original works of art which can live in harmony with their hosts as long as the earthly coils remain.

Matt Stines would like to offer these pieces of advice for people joining the ‘inked’ club.

Don’t Be Intimidated “Sometimes, when people don’t have tattoos and they walk into a tattoo shop they’re intimidated,” Stines said. “I want us to be approachable … it’s a very laid back studio.

Research your Gunman “Make sure you do your research and look at artists’ portfolios.” A good tattoo artist has style in his or her work. It is important that their style meshes well with the image you want to create.

Treat your Tattoo like a Piece of Art “A tattoo is a living painting,” McCrocklin said. “I don’t think that people need to be so blunt with their tattoos,” commented Stines. “Portraits can be one of the most beautiful things, but it’s like a train wreck when people start to put names and dates under it. Don’t try to cram too much into a tattoo. It’s personal to you. You don’t have to explain it to other people.”

Happy steel needles Dance paintings all over me Illustrated Man Jason Allen Phillips receives a tattoo of his daughter’s name, Alizyaih, on his forearm by artist Justin McCrocklin at No Regrets Tattoo Studio of Champaign on Tuesday, June 5. In the background, owner Matt Stines tattoos Mark Gilkison’s back.

Like scratching a sunburn KEN BEAVER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Mark Gilkison has allowed Matt Stine to use his back as a canvas for Stine’s original artwork.

Gilkison will accompany Stine to tattoo conventions when the work is completed to compete with other tattoo art from around the United States. “I gave him freedom to do whatever he wanted. This is our seventh sitting today,” said Gilkison.

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I approached Matt Stines with only a basic idea of what I wanted. Not a problem. While an apprentice in Indianapolis, Stines developed the ability to create designs on the spot, and within 20 minutes we had the outline. This skill seemed emblematic of Stines’ hopes for No Regrets.

“We want to have the best artists,” he said. “Capable of producing whatever the customer wants.” The art definitely comes first.

Stines specializes in realism. His portfolio is full of amazing portraits of Burroughs, Warhol’s Monroe and, of course, Jim Morrison. A glass case in the front of the shop displays awards from competitions. Justin McCrocklin, Stines’ apprentice since the shop’s opening, showed me some of his tattoos up close: a red-faced Phil Collins next to Ziggy Stardust. Next up? SwayzeCentaur. It’s beautiful.

The needle started to buzz. The pain, in Stines’ words, is kind of like scratching a sunburn, but it disappears the second the needle moves away.

It could have been the cleanliness and professionalism of the environment, the laid-back attitude … maybe it was the Shania Twain playing in the background, but in a lot ways, No Regrets made the somewhat odd-seeming beauty salon/tattoo shop juxtaposition make perfect sense.

Bottles containing ink for tattoos are neatly arranged on Justin McCrocklin’s work area, Tuesday at the studio.

Stine tattoos Mark Gilkison, who also designed the studio’s website, with original abstract work that he will later use to compete with nationally. Stine has won awards for Native American themed tattoos, cartoon tattoos and “Most Unusual” in Wisconsin and Michigan.

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Caution: Comics Comin’ Atcha BREWSTER ROCKIT: CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE WORST KIND (2007) JEFF GROSS • STAFF WRITER

If you read the Chicago Tribune, then you might already be familiar with Brewster Rockit. Well, at least if you read “the funny pages,” as my grandfather would call them. The comic strip is one of the Trib’s best, penned with ongoing wit and humor by creator Tim Rickard. The strip is about Brewster Rockit, a bumbling space captain parody of Flash Gordon (much in the style of Futurama’s Zapp Brannigan or Looney Tune’s Duck Dodgers), and his outrageous adventures aboard the “R.U. Sirius” space station.

As a long time fan of the daily running comic strip, I am tickled pink to see it archived in a “best of ” book (note: if you tickle me, I will not actually turn pink). It’s the perfect starting point

for someone who wants to get into the comic and a somewhat absolute collection for current fans. It’s a relatively new comic (less than three years old), so it has plenty of room to grow with fresh material. Besides, it’s never too early to get hooked.

At a cheap suggested retail price of $12.95, the 128-page fullcolor book is well worth the money. Brewster’s cheesy, overthe-top humor will leave you laughing for hours. It’s the perfect distraction from your dreadful, humorless summer.

The top five currently running comics: 5) Dilbert — It’s a necessary staple of hilarious office humor that’s available in almost every newspaper.

4) Monty — You may know this one by it’s original name, Robotman.

3) The Boondocks — Humor is raceless, but funny when racist ... wait, that didn’t sound right.

2) Pearls Before Swine — Far Side’s animal humor replacement is more random than intelligent, but funny nonetheless. You need to read the Chicago Sun-Times for this one.

1) Cyanide And Happiness — It’s crude, rude and utterly hilarious. Did I mention it has stick figures? Check it out at http://www.explosm.net/

HOUSTON, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM: A FOXTROT COLLECTION BY BILL AMEND KERI CARPENTER • ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR

When I saw the comic book Houston, You Have a Problem in my mailbox, I wasn’t exactly thrilled to pop it open. I’m not the biggest comic book fan, partly because I try to dig too far into the corny jokes, therefore destroying whatever little bit of humor there is in them. If I won’t read comics in the newspaper, then a book full of them isn’t exactly my cup of raspberry iced tea.

Surprisingly, Houston, You Have a Problem is filled with endless (well not quite 128 pages to be exact) jokes, pictures and a great amount of comedic potential. Some of the jokes are so silly that you’ll feel too much like a grown-up if you don’t laugh. Others

may tickle you solely because of the unrelated illustrations that are supposed to go with them.

The best part about this book is that the humor is rated PG. It’s kind of like the Napoleon Dynamite of comic books (funny if you use your imagination, pointless and appropriate for any age). This old-school black-and-white comic book brings back the good ole’ Nick at Nite days when I would laugh at things because they were simple and silly, even if they were in black and white and appropriate for the little people. Today, it seems that many times we only find humor in things that are to be decoded only by grown-ups.

In the 2000s, we sometimes dismiss anything that’s not “R” rated from being funny (for those

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of you dirty sickos, I recommend you re-read The Cat in the Hat. You just wait and see how many times you’ll laugh). This comic book brings back the idea of good, family fun.

The downside to this book is that there are barely any breaks in the book. I mean, sometimes you can’t tell where one joke ends and the next begins. Everything runs together so you have to read some extra pages before and after any specific page to get the full joke. Another downside is that it’s sort of in the shape of a flip book, so don’t get confused and try to flip through all the pages and see if they connect to make some really cool action or story. Actually, I might be the only person that tried to do that ... nevermind.

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IT’S 99 CENTS OF PLEASURE!

13

MOVIE REVIEWS

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SYD SLOBODNIK • STAFF WRITER

No one can ever accuse director Davis Guggenheim of making the same film over and over again. Last year he won an Oscar for directing Al Gore’s documentary An Inconvenient Truth. This time, his film Gracie is a heartwarming, crowd pleasing family tale of good, wholesome values.

Gracie is the semi-autobiographical story of actress Elisabeth Shue, chronicling Shue’s loss of her brother and her attempts at becoming the first female member of a boy’s soccer team in New Jersey. An avid soccer player in the late 1970s, Shue’s brother was the team captain and star of the high school team until an unfortunate traffic accident took his life. In fact, this film is a collaboration of love by the Shue clan, with Elisabeth and brother Andrew acting in and producing the film and Guggenheim, who is Shue’s husband, directing it.

With all this emotional power going for it, the film’s narrative problems are overwhelming.

It tries to do too much and is, overall, just too predictable. After the initial scenes of warm brother/sister bonding, where the older brother encourages Gracie’s athletic skills telling her, “You can do anything,� Guggenheim turns

his f ilm into a retread of the Oscar winning Ordinary People. Gracie’s dad, a former soccer star, never gave his daughter much attention, and conflicts arise when Gracie becomes rebelliously neglectful of her schoolwork. Then, when Gracie petitions the school board so that she can try out for the team to replace her brother, the story addresses the movement of Title IX fairness.

Later, numerous scenes of team training and backyard practice warrant endless comparisons to films like Rocky and The Karate Kid. Will Gracie overcome her problems with her dad? Will she make the team and honor the memory of her brother? These are rhetorical questions.

The blue-eyed, blonde Carly Schroeder is radiant as Grace Bowen. Her determination and slight tomboyish charm is effective. Dermot Mulroney is serviceable as the dad, but Mulroney provides only a bargain basement version of the acting abilities of David Strathairn. Elisabeth Shue’s mother is surprisingly mundane and lackluster for someone who actually lived through the emotional events depicted in the story. While entertaining and sentimental for the most part, Gracie is not the next Bend It Like Beckham.

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Not so long ago a man named Costner ruled the box office. He fielded dreams, danced with wolves and bulled Durham with panache and immortal class. Now you can add buttoneddown serial killer to his ever expanding rogue’s gallery of characters.

Costner is the eponymous Mr. Brooks: professional, successful, family man, killer. This last resume tic manifests itself in his smooth alterego (William Hurt) who attended the Hannibal Lecter charm school.

W hi le tr ying to suppress his psychotic tendencies, Mr. Brooks sloppily executes a murder and is photographed by an amateur photographer (Dane Cook) who then blackmails him. Throw in Demi Moore as the homicide detective, hot — literally and figuratively — on his trail, and let the murderous thrills ensue.

I’ve gotta hand it to Mr. Costner, playing a villain might not be a bad career resurgence to pursue. He portrays the dark desires of the tortured Mr. Brooks, yet somehow makes him likable, to the point that you’re actually hoping he’ll get away with his nefarious deeds.

On the other hand, the phenomena l ly unfunny and criminally overrated “comedian� turned thespian, Dane Cook, finally elicits a few

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laughs for blending stoicism and sleaze. But in the context of the film he’s about as effective as one of his sophomoric stand-up performances.

Leaden and dry, he’s creepy, but the omnipresent smirk on his face defeats any menace he’s attempting to convey, and he ends up looking like a younger, coked-out Jack Nicholson.

There is, however, enough suspense and interesting police procedural (thank you Mrs. Kutcher) to keep Mr. Brooks afloat. And, above all, the story remains compelling throughout The physical exploration of Mr. Brooks’ Jekyll and Hyde duality is a revelation in a world of cinematic banalities.

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EXCUSE ME, BUT IS THIS A FRONT-CLASPING BRA OR A BACK-CLASPING BRA?

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BOOK REVIEW

Baseball Between The Numbers: Why Everything You Know About Baseball Is Wrong Edited by Jonah Keri JEFF GROSS • STAFF WRITER

So you think you know baseball, eh? Well, Baseball Between The Numbers: Why Everything You Know About Baseball Is Wrong begs to differ. This intense compilation of statistics and adjustments by the best sabermetricians (that’s baseball econometrics and statistics, for those who don’t speak French) in the industry tackles the toughest questions, myths and misconceptions about baseball. Is there such a thing as clutch hitting? Why is a four-man rotation better than a five? Does a batting order actually matter? And of course, the most important question of all: who is the greatest baseball player of all time — Barry Bonds or Babe Ruth? In addition, the book also tackles less important questions such as whether or not A-Rod, Zito and Soriano’s ridiculous price tags have any impact on today’s outrageous ticket prices.

Jonah Keri and the Baseball Prospectus team of experts diligently analyze, discuss, reassess and conclude to great lengths the ins and outs of the game. From the stats (the not-so-telling

nature of RBIs) to the players (how players “age”) to the design (was the new ballpark worth building?), this book covers it all. It’s the perfect book for a guy who follows the game.

Baseball Between The Numbers is a book that makes even the most intimate baseball lover second guess himself.

By far, however, the best quality of this 430 page book is that it’s perfect for reading on the can. Its layout is set up in chapters and subchapters that make it perfect to pick up every now and then for brief readings. It’s also chockfull of complicated, disproving facts that are sure to piss off your closest sports friends. Allin-all, I highly recommend it, especially to the number guys out there — fantasy participants, scorekeepers, nerds, etc. — you know who you are. Besides, where else can you fi nd out exactly how bad of a player Ozzie Guillen was, in terms of how many games his terrible batting skills alone cost his team(s), he was the 2nd worst player of all time. Take that Sox fans!

fresh food. true wine. a real experience.

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Barry Bonds might be able to give Babe Ruth a run for his money when it comes to being the best baseball player of all time. PHOTO COURTESY OF HTTP:// HOSTED.AP.ORG/PHOTOS.

Babe Ruth–perhaps the greatest baseball player of all time? You decide.

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kim rice & ross wantland DOIN’ IT WELL

the stinger

BMPOH!DBNF!QPMZ)VSFUIBOF* Dear Kim & Ross, If one … partner (in this case a man in an opposite sex couple) is allergic to latex, are there any other options that would protect against HIV when it comes to penetrative sex? I don’t think there are, but I thought you might be the one to ask...

–A Dear A, That is an excellent question. Latex is a milky substance derived from the rubber tree, and many everyday items contain some latex, including condoms or latex barriers like “dental dams”.

Approximately 1 to 5 percent of the population has a latex allergy. The most common symptoms of a latex allergy include a mild rash and itching.

As with most allergens, repeated exposure may increase the reaction, so it is important to recognize the symptoms early and get them checked out by your medical provider. If you experience itching or swelling in the genital, oral, or anal areas after sex while using a latex condom or barrier, you could have a latex allergy.

At the same time, these symptoms could be a sign of an STI. Either way, the sooner you talk with your doctor, the sooner he or she can help you figure this out.

For male condoms, there are two types of nonlatex varieties. Lambskin condoms, although effective at preventing pregnancy, are not effective at preventing STI transmission, including HIV. Lambskin condoms are porous, and while the pores are not large enough for sperm to get through, STIs are able to permeate.

Because some people are allergic to latex, the condom industry used polyurethane — a clear, odorless plastic — to develop two types of condoms: female and male. Polyurethane seems to be the best bet for a barrier that helps prevent STI transmission and pregnancy.

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THE GOOD NEWS AND THE BAD NEWS Although twice as expensive, polyurethane condoms have many advantages over latex condoms. They are thinner, transmit heat better, and they don’t have the rubber odor of latex condoms. Oh, and did we mention that they are more resistant to sun-damage and they can be used with oil-based lubricants? Additionally, polyurethane technically is as good of a barrier at preventing pregnancy or transmission of STIs. The bad news is that there is inconsistent data as to whether they work as well as latex condoms.

The FDA requires that makers of polyurethane condoms inform consumers that latex condoms should be used unless there is a latex allergy.

Most research has shown that polyurethane condoms have a slightly higher risk of slippage or breakage during sex. Because polyurethane is not as elastic as latex, the male condoms may not fit as snugly, leading to increased slippage.

However, we should stress that polyurethane male condoms are only slightly less effective,

in normal use, than latex condoms. Latex and polyurethane condoms — along with abstinence — are still the only birth control methods that help protect against HIV. LIVE THE REALITY Reality makes the female condom, which is essentially a polyurethane sheath placed inside the vagina or rectum. The open end has a large ring which remains outside of the body, keeping the condom in place. During sex, the penis only comes into contact with the inside of the female condom. Additionally, the female condom can be inserted up to eight hours before intercourse.

It can be a little intimidating to figure out how to use a female condom, but when used properly, it provides protection against pregnancy and HIV/ STIs. Be sure to use enough lube, otherwise it can be a little noisy. Because all female condoms are made of polyurethane, they can be used by individuals who have a latex allergy. And although it’s called the “female” condom, it can be used for anal sex between two men.

DOUBLE TROUBLE As we were doing research, we found that in addition to polyurethane condoms, some experts recommended that a male partner could wear two condoms, one latex and one lambskin.

The idea is that the two condoms could be worn so that a latex condom is still used AND the latex doesn’t come into direct contact with the allergic individual. Doin’ It Well is hesitant to recommend this method. Wearing two condoms can cause friction between the condoms that makes both of them more likely to break.

Contrary to popular belief, two condoms do not work better than one!

BUYING POLYURETHANE! In a quick survey of area supermarkets and drug stores, we discovered that most of the drug stores carry polyurethane male condoms. Although female condoms are supposedly available overthe-counter, they were not available at any of the stores we went to. The female condom is available at Planned Parenthood.

SEX 411: IF I’M LOOKING FOR A NON-LATEX BARRIER… • Trojan “Supra” • Durex “Avanti” • Reality “Female Condom” • Non-microwavable plastic wrap or a polyurethane condom, cutting down one side can provide an effective, non-latex “dental dam.”

Kim Rice and Ross Wantland are professionals in the field of sexuality and violence prevention.

Write to them at buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com

1401 E. Washington Urbana 217.344.0937

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free will astrology JUN 7 — JUN 13 ARIES

March 21 – April 19

“Surreal hope” means having faith in a future opportunity that at first appears in an out-of-context situation. Say, for example, that you have an unsettling initial exposure to a stranger whom you will eventually realize is an important ally.

Maybe when you see this person for the first time, he or she is looking dazed and disheveled on a street corner with tear stains on the cheek, having just broken up with a lover. And maybe you feel a strange attraction to this weirdo despite his or her unflattering appearance. Having surreal hope, in this instance, would mean that you’d refrain from being dismissive and judgmental, but would instead entertain the possibility that your fascination might portend an interesting link under more favorable circumstances at a later date.

T A U RU S

April 20 – May 20

“Idealism increases in direct proportion to one’s distance from the problem,” wrote English novelist John Galsworthy. In other words, most people find it easier to stick to their noble beliefs and neat theories when they don’t have to deal with the messy details of real life. I trust that you will be a stirring exception to this rule in the coming weeks, Taurus. Judging from the astrological omens, I predict that you’ll be a master of utopian pragmatism. As you penetrate further and further into the heart of every matter, you’ll come up with workable strategies for bringing out the best in people.

GEMINI

May 21 – June 20

For millions of years, the great rivers of the world have flowed into seas -- or at least they have up until now. Because of their overuse by humans, several ancient rivers are in danger of drying up before they reach their destinations. Among them are China’s Yellow River, the Tigris and Euphrates in the Middle East, and America’s Rio Grande. I offer this as a cautionary metaphor to consider as you contemplate your long-term future. There are things you can do in the next six weeks to ensure that the river of your life will always connect to a greater source. I suggest you make that a high priority.

CANCER

June 21 – July 22

“Quetzalcoatl instructed the Aztecs to offer hyacinths and copal [a resin] to their idols instead of human flesh,” wrote Edward Dahlberg in his book The Sorrows of Priapus. Alas, the priests didn’t heed their god’s directive. Their predilection for ripping the hearts out of their sacrificial victims is infamous.

Now I’m asking you to attend to a less dramatic but comparable matter, Cancerian. You have a prime opportunity to stop making an extreme sacrifice you’ve been doing for a long time. The gods no longer demand it of you; it serves no holy purpose; and there’s a milder and more useful sacrifice you can make instead.

LEO

July 23 – Aug. 22

The geography of your heart is evolving. In places, coastlines are disappearing. Elsewhere, new islands have risen out of the sea. Boundaries are shifting, as some nations dissolve and others are born. Even the climate is changing, with warm winds blowing where once there was year-round chill, and monsoon-like conditions invading desert ecosystems. Roads that formerly led to the center of the action no longer do, and highways that used to be peripheral are now main routes. I suggest you take note of all this by redrawing your map, Leo. Get up to date with your heart’s new landscapes.

VIRGO

Aug. 23 – Sept. 22

LIBRA

Sept. 23 – Oct.22

SCORPIO

Oct. 23 – Nov. 21

S AG I T TA R I U S

Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

AQUA R I U S

Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

I suggest we title this chapter of your life story “The Perplexing Joy of Hundreds of Emotions,” or maybe “The Wild Peace of Way Too Many Feelings.” That may be a bit of an exaggeration, but it’s an apt reflection of your immediate future: extreme, expansive, melodramatic, spectacularly educational, and filthy rich with intrigue. You may not break the world’s record for most mood shifts in a good cause, but you could very well smash your own personal record.

Imagine what it feels like to rub your hand over the stubble that’s just beginning to spring from the skin you shaved.

Visualize a single small purple flower jutting through the dry brown stalks lining the trail you’re hiking along. Remember a moment, after an argument with an ally, when the first tentative spark of reconciliation flowed between your eyes and his or hers. These are good metaphors for the kinds of experiences you should seek out, cultivate, and concentrate on in the coming week.

You’ve gotten a little addicted to habits that are rooted in fear and worry. I suggest we resort to exotic measures to pry you out of your rut. After you read the proposed actions below, compose four more of a similar nature, then go out and actually do at least half of them. (1) On an empty milk carton, paste a collage of cut-out images and phrases that symbolize your anxieties. Then put it on the floor and stomp it to death as you growl. (2) Slap your own hand briskly ten times as you bark, “Stop being such a wuss!” (3) Everywhere you go, visualize yourself being accompanied by three great warriors who’re dedicated to your well-being. (4) Gaze at a picture of a person who makes you nervous and yell “I’m not afraid of you, you mysterious slime-sucking bastard.”

In 18th-century France, the public was sometimes invited to watch when the women of the king’s family gave birth. Can you imagine the modern-day equivalent? As the actresses and pop stars of Hollywood brought their babies into the world, TV news teams would be there on the scene, their cameras rolling. It’s probably not going to happen anytime soon (though be on the alert if you hear Paris Hilton is pregnant). But I suggest you seek out the nearest metaphorical equivalent in the coming week. You’ll really benefit from being in the presence of a primal, ecstatic, royal hatching.

PISCES

Feb. 19 – March 20

In the ancient Gnostic Gospel of Philip, discovered in Egypt last century, the author writes of the relationship between Jesus and Mary Magdalene. In one place, he says, “Jesus often kissed Mary on the . . . .” Unfortunately, there’s a hole in the original document right where that next word was. Did Jesus kiss her on the cheek? The mouth? The neck? Unless other versions of the old text are found, we’ll never know. On the other hand, I predict that you will soon solve a comparable mystery in your own love life. Some gap that has long mystified you will be filled in. A missing clue will turn up.

Homework: Upon waking up for the next seven mornings, sing the song that fills you with feisty hope. Report results to me by going to RealAstrology.com and clicking on “Email Rob.”

Dwight D. Eisenhower was President of the United States for eight years after serving as Supreme Commander of the Allied forces in Europe during World War II. Early in his career, however, he didn’t win many accolades. Referring to his mediocre stint as an undergraduate at the U.S. Military Academy, he said, “If anybody saw signs of greatness in me while at West Point, they kept it to themselves.” Keep his story in mind during the coming weeks, Virgo. You may have to summon an extra measure of self-motivation as you keep pushing towards your goal despite a lack of recognition or applause.

In their translation of a poem by Israeli poet Yehuda Amichai, Chana Bloch and Stephen Mitchell write, “I’m the chimp of chance, the champ of chance, I’m a chum of chance and a chump of chance.” Judging from your astrological omens, Libra, I suspect it’ll soon make sense for you to speak those words yourself. Dumb luck and blind fate will be swirling around you, whipping up both unexpected pleasures and knotty challenges. What can you do to be more of a champ and a chum of chance, and not so much of a chimp and a chump of chance? Welcome everything that happens, with no exceptions. Love the easy and the difficult, the playful and the contrived, the lucid and the confusing.

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buzz weekly WANT TO SELL THAT GREEN VELVET COUCH OF YOURS? CALL BUZZ CLASSIFIEDS AT 337-8337 | DATEXXXXXX, 2003

FUNNY SENTENCE.

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PHONE: 217 - 337 - 8337 DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the2next PHONE: 217/337-8337 DEADLINE: p.m.Thursday’s Tuesday edition. for the next Thursday’s edition.

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classifieds

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion.

• All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time.

• All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student.

• Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment.

• All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student.

• This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

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APARTMENT INSPECTORS NEEDED Large property management company on campus looking for part-time apartment inspectors. Good hourly wage plus paid training. Must have car. Training starts beginning of June. Apply in-person today at 303 E. Green St., Champaign.

Earn great money as an exotic dancer at the Silver Bullet. You pick your hours. Call 344-0937 after 8pm.

Part-time & Moonlighter help needed immediately. Sundays also. Drug screen & clean driving record required.

Apply online ONLY @ www.uhaul.com Part-time job in online sales. Flexible hours. Starting at $75-100 per week.

217-637-1322.

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'VMM 1BSU 5JNF CAMPUS RESTAURANT SHIFT MANAGER, CREW MEMBERS AND DRIVERS Drivers get full pay + 7 1/2% + high tips (average delivery $20). Fun outdoor music events, too. 351-5048.

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SALES REPRESENTATIVE WANTED Don't miss the chance to be a member of graphic design company as a sales representative!!!

Please apply by email to joohyun.kang@gmail.com.

For more information, visit our website: www.ifdesignonline.com

#64*/&44 0114

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Clean, large, quiet. 1 and 3 BR apts.

Good campus locations. Well maintained. Responsible owner. From $550, some with utilities included.

684-2226, crpayne30@hotmail.com

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'VSOJTIFE 6OGVSOJTIFE

3rd and Clark Leasing for August ‘07. Beautiful furnished 3 bedroom 1 bath, and 4 bedroom 2 bath apartments at 3rd and Clark. Nicest on campus $700$1,000/mo. Ted 766-5108.

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'VSOJTIFE 6OGVSOJTIFE Courtyard on Randolph 713 S. Randolph, C. Now leasing for August. Furnished/ Unfurnished. Spacious 2 and 3 bedrooms starting at $630. Close to campus and downtown. Water, Direct TV and parking included. Balcony, laundry and seasonal pool.

(217)352-8540 www.faronproperties.com

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Great Location 606 1/2 E. Stoughton, C. Free Parking. $400 plus utilities. (217)4936519

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'VSOJTIFE

DEADLINE:

2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

RATES: Billed rate: 39¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 33¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $20 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $10 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

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Ju n e 7

FIRST THE DOCTOR TOLD ME THE GOOD NEWS: I WAS GOING TO HAVE A DISEASE NAMED AFTER ME.

'VSOJTIFE 702 W. Washington, C. Large one bedroom apartment available in quiet neighborhood with great neighbors. $527 per month.

Heat, water, sanitation, trash and off-street parking included. On-site laundry and storage. No pets.

Lease, deposit and references required. For more information http://www.illinimanor.com or to schedule a tour call 337-7990.

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6OGVSOJTIFE

Luxury 1 BR apartment in downtown Urbana. 2 covered parking spots. $783/mo. Available for Fall 07-08.

Contact John: 309-370-7582.

'VSOJTIFE

6OGVSOJTIFE

The Opera House.

312 W. Springfield

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Downtown/ Old Town Champaign Renting for July/ August 2007.

406 W. Washington- 2 BR $540 800 W. Church- 2 BR $470 507 W. White- 2 BR $530 511 W. University- 1 BR $415 205 S. Lynn- 1 BR $450 508 W. Hill- 1 BR $415 515 W. Washington- 1 BR $415 403 W. White- 1 BR $440 711 S. Randolph- 1 BR $415 Faron Properties 352-8540 www.faronproperties.com

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510

107 S. Birch, Urbana August ‘07, beautiful furnished 4 bedroom, 1 bath, off-street parking, air, laundry excellent. $1350/mo.

Ted 766-5108.

606 E. Stoughton Near Beckman. 5 BR, 2 BA, parking, $2200/mo. + utilities (217)493-6519.

300.4

530

CAMPUS. Quality furnished room in house. Share kitchen, laundry, utilities. On busline. $235 and up. 217356-0345, 217-721-2143.

300.."5& 8"/5&% 550 Female to share 4 BR spacious house in quiet residential neighborhood. 2 rooms available ($300 and $120). Internet and utilities included.

2102 Madison Ct., Champaign. Reference Required. 217-480-1022.

Male roommate needed to share deluxe furnished 4 BR house at 316 W. John. $350/month + utilities. Ted 766-5108 Roommates wanted for Fall. Share deluxe furnished 3 or 4 bedroom apartment at 3rd and Clark. From $250 per month. Ted 766-5108.

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PARKING SPACES WANTED Illini Media is looking for parking spots available for the Fall Semester close to our building at 512 E. Green Street, Champaign. Please contact Sarah at 337-8315 or email sarah@illinimedia.com with any information.

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830

Casting call today! 8-10pm Lincoln Hall Foyer

620

2 bedroom duplex, unfurnished. washer and dryer hookup, parking.

In quiet southeast Urbana neighborhood. $530/mo. 384-1925.

Sell your furniture today!

Call Classifieds 337-8337

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cu calendar

TRY GOING TO EVENTS MARKED BY THE LOGO. COME ON, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

C = CHAMPAIGN, U = URBANA Submit to Calendar online at www.cucalendar.com/submit.php

THU. JUN 07 Live Bands Acoustic @ Aroma [Kayla Brown and Mike Ingram, Monica Del Castillo.] Free, Aroma Cafe, C. 8pm Soul Fish, Jeremy Harper No cover, Rose Bowl Tavern, U. 9pm Shooluv [With Special Guests John Callaway and Staci Anderson.] $5, Canopy Club, 9pm Adam Wolfe Free, Potbelly Sandwich Works, C. 12pm Concerts Summer Harp Class Opening Concert [The 2007 Summer Harp Class at Illinois welcomes harpist Jing-I Jang back as the opening concert artist.

Featuring formidable works by J.S. Bach, de la Presle, Krenek, Parish Alvars, Salzedo, and Scarlatti.]

Free, Smith Recital Hall, C. 7:30pm Summer Jazz Festival 2007 [UI Jazz faculty members recreate the 1943 Duke Ellington Carnegie Hall debut concert. Jon Faddis, trumpet and leader, is featured.

Tickets $15. Student and Seniors $8, UI students and youth $5.]

Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, U. 7:30pm DJ DJ / Gentlemen’s Club [Nothin’ but Rock.] Silver Bullet Bar, U. 8pm Disco Rigido [DJ TwinScin, DJ Copper Top.] $5, Highdive, C. 10pm Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke [Come and enjoy karaoke every Thursday.] The Office, U. 10pm Workshops R.A.D. Class [Rape Aggression Defense Course Basic Course is available for women of all ages. Attendance at all 4 sessions is necessary to complete the program. The $10 registration fee is refundable upon completion of the third class. Call to register: 217-383-4060.] Carle Foundation Hospital, C. 6pm Recreation Free Tai Chi and Shaolin Kung Fu Classes [The classes are open to all ages and are sponsored by the US Midwest Kung Fu Association and Song’s Kung Fu Academy.] West Side Park, C. 6:30am Yoga at KAM [Krannert Art Museum hosts a weekly yoga class.] Free, Krannert Art Museum, U. 12pm Art Exhibits “Luminescence” [Photography by Brock Peoples.

Also featured, Peruvian art of Olga Flores and new furniture by Ambiance at Home.] Heartland Gallery, U. 10am “Poetry of Images” [Recent painting by Raheel.] Cinema Gallery, U. 10am Volunteer Clean-Up Dump and Run [Volunteers needed to organize,

pack and load this year’s Dump and Run collections. Anyone who can lend an hour or two between 9 am and 8 pm is welcome to stop by.

Your help is needed!] Latzer Hall, C. 9am

FRI. JUN 08 Live Bands Billy Galt Sings the Blues [Straight from the Blues Deacons, Billy plays at Blues Restaurant from 11:30am to 2:30pm. Join us for the best BBQ in town with great music on the side.] Blues, U. 11:30am Weasel Dreams Live, Iron Post, U. 5pm Boneyard Jazz Quintet Free, Cowboy Monkey, C. 5:30pm Kayla Brown & Mike Ingram Free, Corner Lounge, Catlin. 8pm Dave Dreyer Band No cover, Hubers, C. 8pm Country Connection $1, Rose Bowl Tavern, U. 9pm JAB [Rock, hard rock and metal music.]

Radmaker’s Billiard and Sports Bar, Tolono. 9pm Mike Mangione & Steele Rose Live, Iron Post, U. 9pm 5th Floor Mercy [With Triple Whip, Lucky Mulholland, Kate Hathaway.] $5, Canopy Club, U. 9pm Jeremy Harper and Friends Live, Embassy Tavern, U. 9:30pm Concerts 2007 Summer Harp Class Guest Artists [Featuring The HarpCore Four: Julia Kay Jamieson, Claire Happel, Charles Lynch and Megan Stout.]

Free, Smith Recital Hall, C. 7:30pm Summer Harp Class Afternoon Recital [The 2007 Summer Harp Class at Illinois welcomes harpist Maryanne Meyer back to perform a dramatic program of J.S. Bach’s French Suite No. 3, Krenek’s Sonata, Renie’s Ballade fantastique based on Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart,” and Hugo Reinhold’s Impromptu, Op. 28, No. 3.] No charge, Smith Recital Hall, C. 12pm DJ DJ Mertz [House, funk, electro.] Free, Boltini Lounge, C. 10pm Country Night: DJ Stifler Cover, 19+, Highdive, C. 10pm Dancing Contra Dance [Singles, couples, groups, and families are invited to come dance to live music every 1st and 3rd Friday of the month. All dances are taught (walked-through) prior to dancing. Wear comfortable clothing and bring a pair of clean, soft-soled shoes to protect the wood floor, www.prairienet.org/contra/.] Phillips Recreation Center, U. 8pm Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke [Come and enjoy karaoke.] American Legion Post 71, U. 8pm Recreation Fit For Life [Gentle yet fun class for cardiorehab patients, weight-challenged,

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prenatal, new to fitness & older adults. Strengthens entire cardiovascular, abs, back, legs and arms without strain on joints and includes stretching. Lighthearted atmosphere. Call 367-1544 to sign-up.] Phillips Recreation Center, U. 9am Family Fun Family Fun Night [Enjoy healthy, fun activities including open gym, board games and much more for little ones and parents.] Savoy Recreational Center, 5pm Family Fun Happy Hour [Free food from 5-7pm. Arcade games, pool tables and more.]

Radmaker’s Billiard and Sports Bar, Tolono. 5pm

SAT. JUN 09 Live Bands Bonafide Live, Iron Post, U. 6pm Jim Vasilou No cover, Bentley’s Pub, C. 8pm Metal Show [Dissension, Hatechamber and more, 19+ to enter.] The Phoenix, C. 8pm The Wandering Sons [With Noah Harris (of the Elanors), Tunnels, Dan Beahm and the Invisible Three, Chad Warner.] $7, Canopy Club, U. 8pm Velvet Touch No cover, Hubers, C. 8pm Delta Kings [Rock and blues.] Cover, Memphis on Main, C. 8:30pm Renegade [Southern and classic rock.]

Radmaker’s Billiard and Sports Bar, Tolono. 9pm Suddenly Everything (Ex-Ambitious Die Party). All ages, Iron Post, U. 9pm Kelly McMorris Live, Iron Post, U. 10pm The Confines, Absent Star, Whistlers Mother $5 cover, Cowboy Monkey, C. 10pm Adam Wolfe [Acoustic Saturdays.] Free, Potbelly Sandwich Works, C. 12pm DJ DJ Tim Williams [Remix of top-40, house, techno, dance-pop, disco, 80’s and hiphop.] $5, Highdive, C. 10am Chris O [House.] No cover, Boltini Lounge, C. 10pm Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke [Come and enjoy karaoke.] Geo’s, U. 9pm Miscellaneous Environmental Education Center Open [Explore interactive display, see live animals and enjoy natural history exhibits at the Environmental Education Center. Join a nature hike at 1pm.] Free, Environmental Education Center, Homer. 10am Danville Area Super Singles Featuring Magic Light and Sound with DJ Larry Stevens. Bring a snack to share.] $5, American Legion Hall, Danville. 7pm

Art Exhibits “Victorian Entertainments: We Are Amused” [Summer exhibit at the Rare Book and Manuscript Library.] Main Library, 10am Volunteer ReStore Volunteer Orientation [Habitat for Humanity seeks volunteers for our ReStore. Volunteers assist in all store duties, including customer service, pricing and displaying, pick ups and deliveries, and cashiering. All proceeds go to building more homes in Champaign County. For more information, a current ReStore orientation schedule, or to RSVP for an orientation, please contact Courtney at 3556460 x116 or email volunteer@ cuhabitat.org.] Habitat for Humanity, 9am

SUN. JUN 10 Live Bands Rose Bowl Reunion [Reunite with your friends for a day of great country music.] No cover, Rose Bowl Tavern, U. 12pm Two Gallants [With special guests Sangamon, Roses and Sake. Ages 18+.] $8, Canopy Club, U. 8pm Crystal River no cover, Rose Bowl Tavern, U. 9pm Steak Out with Leigh Meador Piano Trio Live, Iron Post, U. 9pm The Living Blue, Black Tie Revue, The Dirty Novels, The International Theater of War Cover, 19+, Highdive 9:30pm Dancing Salsa Sundays with DJ Bris [Free, lessons begin at 7pm followed by open dancing at 8:30pm.]

Cowboy Monkey, C. 7pm Workshops Glass Classes [Learn to make unique creations in glass. Instruction is offered in stained glass, beadmaking, fusing and mosiacs. No previous glass experience required.] Glass FX, C. 7pm

MON. JUN 11 Live Bands Jazz Jam: MRS Trio All ages, $2, Iron Post, U. 7pm Carmel Sheerin and the Ravens Live, Iron Post, U. 9pm Open Mic Night with hosts Mike Ingram and Brandon T. Washington Free, Cowboy Monkey, C. 10pm WEFT Sessions featuring Ryan Groff [Come down to the studio and watch for free or listen live.] WEFT 90.1 FM, C. 10pm Concerts Summer Piano Institute [Featuring Institute faculty members and participants. Tickets are $10, $5 students or a series package may be purchased for $30, $15 for students.] Smith Recital Hall, C. 7:30pm Dancing Belly Dancing Basics Class [Learn all the fundamental skills of belly dancing, for women of all ages, sizes & shapes. For all skill levels, including beginners, or those wishing to refine their skills. $40/6 weeks, www.DanceClubUrbana.com for map, bus, & info.] Independent Media Center, U. 7pm Swing Dance Lessons [Learn this fun & most popular form of “East Coast” or “Jitterbug” Swing from expert Dance Club

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instructors. Tuesdays, 8pm. No partner necessary. $40/six weeks.

Beginners welcome.] Independent Media Center, U. 8pm Beginner Tango Course [Learn comtemporary Argentine tango with Ron & Susana, instructors trained in Argentina. 4-week class begins June 4. Cost $30. No partner or experience required.

Info: tango.society@gmail.com, www.centraltango.com.] Phillips Recreation Center, U. 8:30pm Fundraisers Prairie Center Health Systems 8th Annual Golf Outing [Prizes awarded to winners, all golfers will receive lunch, golf shirt and goodie bag. Also, sports items silent auction. Register with Joyce at the Prarie Center 718 Killarney in Urbana.] Urbana Golf and Country Club, U. 7:30am

TUE. JUN 12 Live Bands Hawthorne Heights [Featuring Secondhand Serenade, From First to Last and Powerspace and Brighten. Doors at 6:30 pm.] $18, Canopy Club, U. 7:30pm Bugtussle No cover, Rose Bowl Tavern, U. 9pm Dancing Subversion [Weekly industrial, EBM, electro dance night at the Highdive. Now featuring DJ Vermis and DJ Evily. $2 cover, $1 drafts. +19 to enter.]

Highdive, C. 10pm Karaoke Karaoke [Karaoke with Randy Miller.] Free, Bentley’s Pub, C. 9:30pm Film Reel Deals- Frank Miller’s 300 (2007) [See Box Office Hits for pennies.

Based on Frank Miller’s graphic novel, “300” concerns the 480 B.C. Battle of Thermopylae, where the King of Sparta led his army against the advancing Persians; the battle is said to have inspired all of Greece to band together against the Persians, and helped usher in the world’s first democracy.] Virginia Theatre, C. 7pm Meetings Alzheimer’s Support Group [Carle Arbours Group to meet in Conference Room B.] Carle Arbours, C. 7pm Art Exhibits “Allerton Legacy” [Open until dusk, daily. Also, garden tours can be arranged if you call 333-2127.] Allerton Park, Monticello. 9am Family Fun Len and Lois [Live music for the whole family.]

Savoy Recreational Center, 7pm

WED. JUN 13 Live Bands Donnie Heitler [Solo piano.] The Great Impasta, C. 6pm Irish Traditional Music Session Bentley’s Pub, C. 7pm Feudin’ Hillbilly’s No cover, Rose Bowl Tavern, U. 9pm The State Lines, Brother Embassay and Kuwahara [Wednesdays in the Void.] Free, Canopy Club, U. 9pm Jeremy Harper [Acoustic covers and originals.]

Free, The Phoenix, C. 9pm Jazz Crusaders Live, Iron Post, U. 9pm Adam Wolfe [Acoustic Wednesdays.] Free, Geo’s, U. 9:30pm Karaoke Dragon Karaoke [Paul Faber hosts karaoke.] Embassy Tavern, U. 9pm Liquid Courage Karaoke [Come and enjoy karaoke.] Geovantis, C. 10pm Volunteer ReStore Volunteer Orientation [Habitat for Humanity seeks volunteers for our ReStore. Volunteers assist in all store duties, including customer service, pricing and displaying, pick ups and deliveries, and cashiering. All proceeds go to building more homes in Champaign County. For more information, a current ReStore orientation schedule, or to RSVP for an orientation, please contact Courtney at 3556460 x116 or email volunteer@ cuhabitat.org.] Habitat for Humanity, 5:30pm

The Show Must Go On Tour 2007 featuring Hawthorne Heights with special guests Secondhand Serenade, From First To Last, Power Space and Brighten.

The Canopy Club, Tuesday, 18+, $18, 7:30 p.m.

Well, Hawthorne Heights is finally coming to town and what could you possibly have to do on a Tuesday that’s better than rocking out? Nothing. So join me in my quest to fend off the neurotic, angst-filled teens in the ninja-pit and move to the breakdowns of “Ohio Is For Lovers.” What better way to take out your summer school aggression than pushing your neighbor into the mosh pit?

The band that has been touring incessantly since 2001 is making a stop in CU. So come out for The Show Must Go On Tour and prep yourself for a few bruises, some slight ringing in your ears and a really good time. Doors open at 6:30 p.m., come early and grab a good spot!

— Alyssa Vale

sounds from the scene

20 •

buzz weekly

I’LL SHOW HIM INANIMATE!

Ju n e 7

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J u n e 1 4 , 2 oo7

jonesin CROSSWORD PUZZLE Lack of Substance. There’s no there there.

By Matt Jones Across 1 Salad usually with hard-boiled eggs 5 Olympic event 9 Home security component 14 Prefix like “ultra” 15 “The Young ___” (1980s Britcom) 16 Neighbors of ulnae 17 Fictional substance in Star Trek 19 Considering everything 20 First word in a borough’s name 21 Fish and chips fish 23 It could be a bad sign 24 Crash for a few 25 Cadillac SUV in hip-hop videos 27 One way to run 31 Like Keebler workers 32 Mr. ‘iggins from My Fair Lady 33 Web address 35 Apolo Ohno’s middle name 38 Light blue shade 39 Fictional substance in The Absent-Minded Professor 42 Light brew, for short 43 Bouncing off the walls 45 Box marked “M,” “F,” or “Yes, please!”

46 Number before neuf 47 Profession 50 Place on a Monopoly board 52 Possible side effect in TV drug ads

55 56 57 58 62 64 66 67 68 69 70 71

Hermione’s friend Microscope part Wild West Salad green Den drug Fictional substance in The Powerpuff Girls Octa- halved Where lovers can be seen k-i-s-s-i-n-g Give ___ on the shoulder “That’s awesome!”

Parts of wds.

Change the design

Down 1 Cows’ mouthfuls 2 Passing passage 3 Flecktones leader Fleck 4 She shaved her own head in 2007 5 Name of two popes 6 Part of 66-across 7 Low card 8 Seep through 9 Jeremy Piven, on “Entourage” 10 Lotion ingredient 11 Fictional substance in X-Men 12 Pestered 13 He wrote about a bear in the woods 18 Side 22 650, to Seneca 26 Where some travelers come from 27 Grateful Dead bass guitarist Phil 28 Like 52-down

29 30 34 36 37 39 40 41 44 46 48 49 51 52 53 54 59 60 61 63 65

Fictional substance in Superman Sisqó’s group ___ Hill Amt. on a dumbbell Kid played by a young Ron Howard MLB team from D.C. Word before “boy” or “party” Wanna-___ North and south, e.g.

Pop band that did a 1992 EP of ABBA covers It gets pumped on the rails Not so bright Makes into law Singer Mitchell Rorschach selections Pepe with a signature scent Walt Disney Concert Hall architect “Must’ve been something ___” “Impaler” who inspired Dracula Convention center event, maybe Feet-wiping spot Long predator

Solutions on pg. 15

Thursday, June 7th

$4 Mojitos — $5 Specialty Martinis NBA Finals on Outside Patio Bar ➠ 42” Plasma TV

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120 N. Neil 352-9756

BEATS RHYMES

the best underground hip-hop on WPGU INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | THE HOOPLA | STAGE, S CREEN &

IN

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sounds from the scene