Buzz Magazine: June 8, 2006

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Blind Pig Co. Tapping national beer stardom pg. 4

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SUMMER CAMP DIARY

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no.22

Cover Design • Brittany Bindrim Editor in Chief • Todd Swiss Art Director • Brittany Bindrim Copy Chief • Alexis Terrell Listen, Hear • Leah D. Nelson Stage, Screen & in Between • Elyse Russo Around Town • Tatyana Safronova CU Calendar • Todd Swiss Photography Editor • Christina Leung Designers • Nikita Sorokin, Hank Patton Calendar Coordinator • Brian McGovern Photography • Christina Leung Copy Editors • Sarah Goebel, Brandon Oswald Staff Writers • Paul Prikazsky, Anna Statham, Crystal Ligon, Randy Ma, Jaron Birkan, Syd Slobodnik, Todd J. Hunter Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein Sales Manager • Mark Nattier Production Manager • Rick Wiltfong Marketing/Distribution • Brandi Wills Publisher • Mary Cory

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UNDER THE COVER |1-3| 3 3 3 |4-5| 4 5 5 |6-7| 6 7 7 | 8 - 10 | | 11 - 12 | 11

TALK TO BUZZ

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INTRO This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening First Things First • Michael Coulter

AROUND TOWN This pig’s flying high • Randy Miller Community snapshot with Heidi Weatherford The Local Sniff • Seth Fein

LISTEN, HEAR You can even get used to porta potties: a summer camp diary • Carlye Wisel Soundground #129 • Todd J. Hunter Album review

CU CALENDAR STAGE, SCREEN & IN BETWEEN Summer theatre festivals abound • Jeff Nelson Page Rage Movie reviews Artist’s Corner with Brian Sullivan

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CLASSIFIEDS

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THE STINGER

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Doin’ it Well • Kim Rice & Kate Ruin Jonesin Crossword • Matt Gaffney Free will astrology

© Illini Media Company 2005

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todd swiss EDITOR’S NOTE

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hile our trusty columnist Seth Fein has chosen to run a three-week lambaste of Champaign-Urbana, I figured that I would write a little bit on why CU is actually a very cool place to live.

DOWNTOWN BARS As covered in this issue, the Blind Pig in downtown Champaign has been listed as one of the best bars in the United States. With an ever-revolving menu of beers on tap and a fantastic atmosphere, it is no wonder that the Blind Pig has garnered such praise. They have beers on tap that I haven’t even found in Chicago, so they earn the highest marks in my book. Even so, the Blind Pig is not the only awesome downtown bar. Both Crane Alley in Urbana and Mike ’n Molly’s in Champaign have excellent beer selections and friendly staff. Such features may not be impressive in relation to the nearby metropolises, but it is stunning to have three amazing bars in an area with such a small population.

RESTAURANTS Let me just start off by saying that the folks over at Radio Maria have served me the best food I have ever tasted. Sure, I am not a food connoisseur by any stretch of the imagination, but I know when I get an amazing meal. Their international menu has something for everyINTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

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one and is vegetarian-friendly. I couldn’t ask for more. Crane Alley gets the distinction of being both an excellent bar and restaurant. Their entrees and sandwiches are reasonably priced and tasty. If you need a quick meal, Jerusalem Restaurant on Wright Street in Campustown is a great place to go. Middle Eastern food is Jerusalem’s forte and they know their stuff .

I have dreams about their falafel sandwiches.

Courier Café in Urbana is also a fantastic place for both sandwiches and desserts.

THEATRES So, yeah, I gave Boardman’s some guff in one of my columns a few weeks ago, but that’s just because I expect so much from them. I am not going to see movies at Beverly or Savoy because they rarely have anything worth my time or money. I have seen movies at Boardman’s that I would otherwise have driven to Chicago to see, so I am grateful for their effort. The Virginia, while not perfect by any means, is also great.

Where else could I see such classics as The Sting, Duck Soup and The Apartment on the big screen?

The answer is nowhere. Also, the Roger Ebert Film Festival would not be possible without the Virginia, so I give them props.

The CU isn’t all that bad. Yeah, you have to wade through all the chain and commercialized establishments, but it’s fun to fi nd fantastic places in a town where chains like Cold Stone and Chipotle reign supreme. sounds from the scene

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YOU SMELL LIKE DEAD BUNNIES.

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michael coulter FIRST THINGS FIRST

Summer Trifecta Three things that make life better

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ummer is a prett y nice time to be in the Midwest. It’s ver y easy to say that right now because we have yet to be exposed to the trauma of 14 days in a row of a 100-degree temperatures. But still, summer is about all we have. Spring and fall, at least temperature-wise, seem to have become things of the past. We get about a week of each, and then it’s either winter or summer.

So, before I start bitching about global warming or something, I decided to just accept the plight and try to make it an enjoyable summer.

These are mostly just my preferences, but feel free to join in if you like.

MUSIC L i s t e n i n g t o mu s ic i s pr e t t y e a s y i n the winter. It’s cold, gray and gloomy, so a little Nick Cave seems like an appropriate way to make it worse. Summer, though, is much tougher. The damned sun is shining most of the time, so I feel obligated to attempt to make my outlook as bright as the forecast.

I’ve found the best way to do this is to pick a couple of albums and listen to them until I can stand them any more.

The first one I would suggest is Rhett Miller’s Instigator. It’s a perfect syrupy little summer concoction, so even though it’s actually a spring record, I’m counting it. It’s all jangly and fun and pretty smart.

If pop ain’t your cup of tea, pick up Blessing and a Curse by Drive-By Truckers. It’s like Son Volt meets Dinosaur Jr. with a little bit of Replacements thrown in for the piss of it. If you’re not sure which one to pick, I’d go with Rhett Miller for cocktails and conversation on the porch and Drive-By Truckers for Stag and crystal meth in the back seat of Dodge Dart.

If you’re more of a traditionalist, pick up The Essential Dean Martin. His drunken, smoky voice will make everything you do seem as cool as Dino himself. Granted, no one could ever really be as cool as him, but it’s summer and it’s nice to pretend. A big-assed martini, a cigarette dangling from your mouth and a chorus of “That’s Amore” will dress up any summer evening you can think of. This leads us to our next topic.

DRINKING While drinking in the winter is seen primarily as a defense mechanism, drinking in the summer is nothing but a pleasure. My plan has always been to drink brown liquors in the winter, clear ones in the summer. As usual, there are always exceptions.

For example, even though rum is a brown liquor, summertime is a very nice time to throw back a couple of mojitos. It’s a wonderful combination of rum, lime juice, mint, sugar and club soda. It tastes lovely, especially if Neighbor makes you one at Esquire on a hot day, and it will make you seem quite special to people who don’t know what an ass you are.

Beer is perfect for all seasons, but I would suggest a little way to treat yourself on a hot day. Rather than relying on a refrigerator, drop a case or two of beer into a cooler and f ill it with ice about two hours before the drinking begins. The beer just keeps getting colder and colder with each passing gulp.

Please remember, though, that after a case per person has been consumed, step back for a moment and see if more is really needed.

While case day is always a special treat, caseand-a-half day is almost always regretful.

BASEBALL Most folks have a team they always root for during the summer. For Cub fans, the real rooting is usually over by mid-June because they are mathematically eliminated from the race at that point. Regardless, it makes summer fun to follow the up and down soap opera of Major League Baseball. And it’s always good to have two teams to root for.

Be realistic about this. If your favorite team is the Red Sox, don’t pick the White Sox as your second team. The problem with this is that both your teams are very, very good, so it’s not as much fun. Pick a good team and then a bad team. If you’re a Pirates fan, pick the Yankees as your second team. If you’re a Houston fan, pick Kansas City as your second team. This way, you can see what it feels like to rule and what it feels like to suck, all in the same year.

So I realize I only had time to talk about three things. But music, liquor and baseball should be more than enough for a simple man like me to enjoy three months of blistering heat.

OOPS! WE MADE A MISTAKE • Although buzz strives for accuracy, we sometimes make mistakes. If you catch something we didn’t,

please let use know at buzz@readbuzz.com. When a correction is needed, it will be listed here.

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around town

THIS PIG’S FLYING HIGH A pub that’s a local favorite receives national praise RANDY MILLER • STAFF WRITER

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CHRISTINA LEUNG • PHOTO

t’s just after noon on a Thursday in early June. While walking through downtown Champaign this time of year, one sees a number of familiar sights: doors of local businesses open to let in the warm air, and people sit outside restaurants in beer gardens enjoying leisurely lunches. But there’s something else stirring at this hour that’s normally fast asleep: it’s Chris Knight, owner of the Blind Pig bar on 120 N. Walnut St. in Champaign. His pub is garnering a lot of attention lately, thanks to a pat on the back from a global “beerappreciation” Web site. It’s enough to make any bar owner get up before noon.

“I don’t do mornings,” he says, sitting at one of the smaller tables toward the rear of his establishment. The Blind Pig is trying something new today. It’s offering lunch.

“It’s called a Ploughman’s Lunch,” he says. “Traditional English ‘pub grub.’”

A Ploughman’s Lunch consists of a hunk of fresh, crusty bread (provided by another local downtown establishment, Pekara Bakery and Bistro), a chunk of aged cheddar cheese, a bit of Branston’s pickle relish and an apple.

“Most pubs in England don’t have kitchens,” Knight says.

“Neither do we, so I figured this would be a good way to get a little closer to the pubs I remember in England.”

That’s part of the reason he opened the Blind Pig in the first place. He says he wanted to recreate the feel of some of his favorite village pubs back home in England. Home has actually been Champaign since 1984, when he became a visiting professor at the University of Illinois, a job he still holds.

Architecturally, he says, recreating the English pub feel was next to impossible. Most English pubs are on corner lots with low ceilings, replete with nooks and crannies. The average American bar is a straight-shot, narrow room, so he says he did the best with what he had to work with, a storefront on North Walnut Street he bought in 1994, just before it became Village Green Records.

The Blind Pig opened for business in November 2004.

“We’re very pleased at the reception Champaign has given us,” he says. “May was a record month in sales. April was a record before that. Things are really going well.” And now he has some national recognition to boot.

A Web site called beeradvocate.com, which aims to offer a worldwide online meeting spot for lovers of all things beer, recently posted their “Top 50 Places to Have a Beer in America.”

The Blind Pig was 26th.

“Oh, it’s a great honor,” Knight says. “We’re very pleased.”

Beer Advocate bases its rankings on reviews by site users.

There are more than 1,000 bars in the site’s database and more than 28,000 reviews. The Blind Pig is flying under the radar with less than 20 reviews. (In comparison, The Publick House in Brooklyn, NY, has 144.) But what it lacks in quantity, it more than makes up for in quality.

The reviews are stellar, top to bottom. Even its worst review had only one glaring negative point: the smoke. Knight agreed it can get pretty thick, but he has recently installed a new exhaust fan, quadrupling the power of the previous one.

All the site’s reviewers say the Blind Pig is the best Illinois pub outside of Chicago. In fact, Beer Advocate lists it as the third best pub in Illinois, behind Chicago’s The Map Room and Hopleaf.

Readers of local publications also consistently vote the Blind Pig as having the best beer selection in Champaign.

So what makes this place so unique? For starters, there’s that beer selection. The Blind Pig offers 19 beers on tap,

Blind Pig Co. has been open for business since November 2004. but there’s no M i l ler Lite or Budweiser to be found.

K n ig ht stock s a rou nd 100 bot t le s t h at ch a n g e f rom month to month. He also offers two casks.

Cask beer is unfiltered and unpasteurized, so it still contains live yeast. This allows the beer to go through a natural pasteurization process in the cask before being “pulled out” by the bartender using a beer engine. The Blind Pig is the only bar in Champaign to utilize this form of beer appreciation.

“It’s not something you see much outside of England,” Knight says. The selection can be a little daunting, which is why the Blind Pig offers a sample package: four, four-ounce glasses of different drafts for $4. Knight says his bartenders aren’t all beer experts, but they will take the time to explain what you’re drinking and why it’s good or bad.

The atmosphere is also unique. It’s one of the few bars in Champaign without a TV. “I think TVs are horrible things in bars,” Knight says. “It’s such a solitary activity. It really ruins the atmosphere.”

The building’s old tin ceiling is exposed, with wooden beams running up and down and across the bar’s interior. The walls are made out of old church doors, with little wooden crosses still visible in the right light. A deep shade of red covers the rest of the bar. “I just wanted to create a comfortable place for everyone to come in and enjoy a beer,” he says. Apparently, it’s been working.

Knight says he has to turn people away on weekends. There’s just not enough room, which is why he has decided to expand.

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Knight is currently leasing the building next door, the old Corley Photography Studio, and plans to knock down the wall between the two. He hopes the new addition will further his attempt to recreate the feel of a traditional English pub.

“Most places in England have a bar area and a lounge area,” Knight says. “This new part (which should be complete by Labor Day) will be my lounge area.”

Little nooks off the walls called “snugs,” common in English pubs, will be added. They’re basically booths but with little swing doors for an added bit of privacy.

“It’s really the only way we’ll be able to meet the demand.”

Knight is no stranger to the downtown bar scene. He opened the original Blind Pig in 1990 in the spot that Cowboy Monkey currently occupies. Knight hosted up to 12-15 bands a week.

Eventually, he says, it all got to be too much. He sold the bar to two investors in 1998. It closed six months later.

But he says he couldn’t stay away from the bar arena for long.

“I just missed the bar scene,” he says. “I enjoy the people.”

Blind Pig’s manager, 25 year-old Amy Newton, says this is the best job she’s held in the service industry.

“The crowd is really diverse,” she says. “Everyone feels welcome here. We get a good crowd from the college and a lot of local people. It’s a nice mix.”

Newton says there is another group to which the bar would like to cater: the coffee house crowd. The bar now offers wireless access and serves coffee. Now that it’s open at noon, she hopes to see more people come in just to enjoy the atmosphere. buzz sounds from the scene

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COMMUNITY

snapshot WITH

HEIDI WEATHERFORD

JULIA KLINE • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

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n Sunday, nearly 100 parishioners lined the pews at the McKinley Memorial Presbyterian Church and Foundation. The sea of red clothing revealed that it was Pentecost Sunday, the day upon which it is believed the Holy Spirit revealed itself to the followers of Jesus and an important holiday in the Presbyterian Church. The service opened with a welcome to new and returning members and featured hymns, prayers, vocal praise performances and communion. Presiding over the service was Pastor Heidi Weatherford, whose kind voice and welcoming smile have been fixtures at McKinley for four and a half years.

Weatherford was born in New Jersey and grew up attending a small, conservative Presbyterian church. From fourth grade on, she was in the church’s choir, which her father directed.

Weatherford received a bachelor’s degree in music and went on to attend seminary to study youth ministry. She became a student ministry intern at a small congregation in North Carolina, where she was expected to deliver a sermon each month.

“I loved it,” Weatherford said. “I decided at that point that I didn’t want to focus on youth ministry. I wanted to do it all.”

Once she graduated from seminary, she became the associate pastor of a New Jersey Presbyterian church, where she eventually became the interim pastor.

Over the next 13 years, Weatherford served as an interim pastor for eight different Presbyterian congregations in New Jersey and upstate New York.

“It was really rewarding, but after a while I got tired of being temporary everywhere,” Weatherford said. She hoped to find a permanent home, but was very specific about the kind of place she was searching for.

“I looked nationwide for a liberal, social justice congregation,” Weatherford said. “I wanted a More Light church.” A More Light Presbyterian church openly welcomes gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender and questioning individuals as well as their allies. This accepting atmosphere is part of what attracted Weatherford to McKinley.

“If we are not learning to welcome the varisounds from the scene

buzz weekly •

SOMETIMES WHEN YOU LOOK IN HIS EYES YOU GET THE FEELING THAT SOMEONE ELSE IS DRIVING.

eties of people God creates, it limits us to reaching out only to people exactly like us,” Weatherford said. “And that is not how I view God’s realm on earth.”

The McKinley church and congregation is known for welcoming with open arms people from all walks of life. According to Weatherford, 35 to 40 percent of the worshipping congregation is openly gay, lesbian or questioning.

Tim Shea is the director of Christian Education at McKinley and a 13-year member of the church.

Shea believes that this openness sets McKinley apart from some traditional churches. He said some people stop going to churches because of their bad experiences there.

“We’re an all-inclusive and welcoming church, which allows people to experience something they might not have experienced before: being accepted regardless,” Shea said.

This isn’t the only thing that sets McKinley apart as a progressive church.

When it comes to interpreting the Bible, Pastor Weatherford takes a more liberal approach to scripture. Weatherford believes that the Bible contains divine truth but says that many passages need not be taken literally. Weatherford used the story of Adam and Eve to illustrate this point.

“Was there a literal Adam and Eve? I really don’t think it matters,” Weatherford said. “God created a human being who was lonely. God created animals, but the Bible says none was a ‘helper fit.’ Finally, God created another human being.

I don’t think it matters what gender. Here at last was a ‘helper fit.’ The same flesh and bone.”

Weatherford said that to her it is the story of the first family and contains divine truth about the meaning of love, family and community.

Social justice is an important part of the mission of the McKinley Church and Foundation.

In her years as pastor and director of the foundation, Weatherford has worked to further that end. Because of her interest in activism, she is often invited to speak at gay rights rallies in the community.

Weatherford said another aspect of her job that she enjoys is working with the student ministry.

“We try to create an area for students to know how their faith interacts with social justice and also a theology that is not your mother’s Bible study,” Weatherford said.

One component of this theology is embracing the questions that come with faith, instead of ignoring them. Every teacher and youth group leader at McKinley has taken a pledge to honestly answer all questions to the best of his or her abilities. This also means admitting that they do not have the answers.

For instance, at McKinley, many admit that they cannot definitively answer questions such as, “What is after death?”

“We don’t really know what happens when we die,” Weatherford said. “It’s a mystery. What we do know is that we are in God’s hands.”

Weatherford prides herself on continuously delivering dynamic and challenging sermons to her congregation.

“There’s a freedom to what I can say at the pulpit,” Weatherford said. “Folks here expect to be challenged. They expect to be uncomfortable and to struggle with social questions instead of being given pat answers. I think I’m free here to speak the message that God is telling me to say.”

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seth fein THE LOCAL SNIFF

The Sniffer Gets to Hatin’ Part One of Three on that ass…

FIRST SNIFF (OF THREE) Com i ng to t he pl ace where you can honestly wr ite down and publish the things, places and people that you despise in your hometowns is not an easy road to travel. I have gone through the seemingly endless e-mails about this topic and have racked my brain trying to decide just how I can possibly unleash the fury without destroying my reputation in town.

Wa i t . S o r r y. I a l r e a d y d i d t h a t a while ago.

But in thinking about it, I have decided to be as candid as possible without hurting buzz’s good relations with its advertisers. After all, this is a business and these words don’t come free. Really fucking cheap. But not free.

So, please. Enjoy. I am on the beach right now in Freeport in the Bahamas. So I feel as though I am a fairly safe distance from any one of my superiors at the front off ice. I suppose that if I come home and no longer have a column, you’ll all know why.

THE UNIVERSITY OF POOP It’s really fucking bad. I mean, REALLY bad. Not rea l ly t he educat ion a l a spect s, although I could probably go on a diatribe about teacher’s assistants and all that they stand for, or how the professors make an ungodly amount of money and don’t do jack shit by the time they are really supposed to be hitting their stride.

My real beef is with the cultural aspects of our campus. What a dump. What a horribly boring and homogenous existence on Green, Daniel, John and 6th. What a sorry bunch of dudes, roaming the streets, looking for nothing more than a chicken wing, a cheap beer and a girl with such low self-esteem that she might go down on them in the piss-stained stalls at Kam’s. This is not what college is supposed to be about.

I am not saying that they should be studying 24/7. My, oh my – absolutely not! But, Christ. Where are the movements? Where are the uprisings? The biggest group on campus is a group whose mission is to save a racist mascot – all the while, we are being cheated by our government as they send our young off to war to die in a f ight that never existed in the f irst place.

There should be rallies, protests, walkouts, something, anything. But there are not. I listen to the tales of my father, of revolution, of actual change. But there is only Unoff icial and Dee Brown. What a sorr y group of spoiled babies, renting $1,500-a-month apartments on their parents’ suburban dimes. I was not one of them. No. Not me. I was not a revolutionary either, that’s true. But I never participated in the shitstink that is Campustown at the U of I. It’s the worst I’ve seen. And I have seen many many many campuses. This is the worst.

Terrible. It’s not even that pretty.

STARCOURSE = THE WORST TALENT BUYING AGENCY IN THE WORLD I have a special, unref ined place of hatred in my heart for Starcourse. It’s the biggest joke on campus. They are the folks who bring in the overpaid and dreadful artists to the Foellinger Auditorium once or twice a semester, and who also get away with f lyering wherever they damn well please (we’ll get to that next week).

Let’s see. Who have they brought to town recently that was pretty cool? Death Cab? Not bad. Spoon? Even decent. I was impressed, to be honest. But, as it turns out, they are a bunch of no taste idiots. The only reason – and I say this with a total understanding of how it came to be – that they brought in those two acts was because of a consultant. Not because they had any vision. But because of a consultant.

So, let me get this straight. They needed to ask someone else who was cool in order to make a decision on which artist to severely overpay? Without question, one of the most annoying organizations on campus. Not just now, but for the last ten years. They used to be rad. They used to be an organization that really knew what was up. But as a result of certain people in certain higher-up positions (I am really resisting here), they have become the biggest joke in talent buying since my father.

He claims to have booked REO in town before anyone, including Bob Graham and Irving Azoff. I told him he was high.

THE STATION AND BROTHER’S For no other reason than the spaces they occupy. The Red Lion and Mabel ’s, who launched the careers of some of the better artists in the last 30 years, are now home to two of the worst and most stupid-ass bars on campus. Thanks, guys. Your businesses cleared the path from culture to anything but.

JUST FOR REMINDER’S… The Chief. My god almighty. Please. I need not go into this any further, but the Chief is just representative of everything that is terrible about the University of Illinois. Those of you who honestly have feelings for keeping the Chief are the biggest bunch of Sniffers known to man in CU. Go dig yourselves a hole and lay in it. It’s where you belong.

FIRST FINAL WHIFF (OF THREE) Well, that felt good. Really, really felt good.

I will use next week to lambaste downtown Champaign, downtown Urbana and one of the most terrible things that the city council has done in the past few years. I promise a good time, even if you now hate my guts.

Seth Fein is from Urbana. He is eating cracked conch right now and is missing his softball games.

Take ’til you get a strike Coulter. We need base runners. He can be reached on the beach at sethfein1@gmail.com

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listen, hear

PFL :8E <M<E ><K LJ<;

KF GFIK8 GFKK@<J a summer camp diary

CARLYE WISEL • STAFF WRITER

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PHOTO BY DAN WISNIEWSKY

t’s Monday morning, which means only one thing – Summer Camp Music Festival has officially ended. Oh yeah, but it’s Memorial Day too ... so, I guess Monday morning means two things. Three, if you include ‘greatest shopping day of the year’ in there. Anyway, read all about the highlights (music! hippies! cheese quesadillas!) and lowlights, such as having to leave early due to a depressing bout of sun poisoning on my pathetically pale skin. (I’m not exaggerating – the color of face makeup I use is called ‘Alabaster’.) Enjoy, friends, as I take you through a journey of Summer Camp 2006: Day One – Friday, May 26 After going to sleep at 2:45 a.m. and waking up at 4 a.m., my boyfriend Dan and I packed the car and hit the road, reaching Three Sisters Park a few hours later. I guess while packing I didn’t quite comprehend how difficult it would be to lug all of my shit from the parking lot to the campsites – good thing I brought a man with me. Seeing the different contraptions that people (we’ll refer to them as hippies from here on out) used to carry belongings was interesting, though. Two guys loaded everything they had onto tarps and dragged it off, while the majority of people had little red wagons, sleds, wheeled platforms or shopping carts.

After setting up camp, we waited in line for late-night show tickets. At this point, I realized that before I came, I didn’t plan on it being hot outside. Honestly, the thought didn’t even cross my mind. As the type of kid who spent her childhood sitting indoors while eating Koala Yummies and watching Rocko’s Modern Life, I was not prepared for the sweltering heat that Chillicothe had in store for me. I was looking forward to seeing Sunday’s late-night show, a “split-squad” performance with band members of Umphrey’s McGee and moe. mixed together, but sadly, tickets ran out way too quickly.

While hanging out at our tent and having an official “we’re roughing it” lunch of easy cheese and saltines, Dan and I thoroughly enjoyed the sounds of The Pnuma Trio, who had a jazz-funk sound complete with lively instrumentals. We later heard ALO (Animal Liberation Orchestra) who were impressive, and Chris Berry, whose heavy reggae sound I wasn’t quite interested in. We began to wander to the vendors selling crafts, books, jewelry, stickers and all around hippie chotchkes and knick-knacks. I picked up some Tibetan freedom flags, Phish stickers and made Dan buy me a goldpainted “I love you” necklace out of a dollar bin. It’s fine that I forced him into the purchase, though – I’ve already convinced myself that it was his idea.

After the stereotypical hippie cuisine of grilled cheese, we went to see my favorite band, Umphrey’s McGee, play the first of their two performances that weekend. For the unfamiliar, they, as always, kicked ass. Their music is not only addictive but has lots of different levels to it due to the mixing of different styles and techniques. For the fans – I got to hear NTF, Tinkle’s and Ocean Billy in the same set. Woah. moe., the headlining band, closed out the night. It’s not that I dislike them – I enjoy listening to the music, but they just INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, H EAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

to Champaign to see their July 8 show.

Cornmeal was up next, with a southern honkey-tonk feel. They had a large crowd, which was surprising at first for an early afternoon performer, but after listening, it was clear why.

We trekked over to the Main Stage next, where the extremely danceable Tea Leaf Green were playing. I suggest downloading their free podcast on iTunes; I’ve been addicted for the past hour to their g uitar solos and overall groove. The rest of the day was rounded out with the pretty enjoyable Honkeytonk Homeslice, a surprisingly disappointing Rusted Root and an outof-nowhere Andrew Bird. Dan wanted to go and support since he felt bad about Andrew Bird being an indie artist at the festival (I guess he identified with him, being an indie music fan amongst a sea of dreadlocked twenty-somethings,) but while his vocals were pleasing, his band fell short.

After getting Umphreys’ Jake Cinninger’s autograph and having a quick chat with Kris Myers about an interview we did for buzz, the rest of the night consisted of skipping out of a Keller Williams performance to eat delicious cheese Camp 2006. quesadillas and attending moe.’s second of three nightly performances. I was a bit iffy at first about missing Keller, but after overhearing him open with his most popular song, “Freeker by the Speaker”, I realized I hadn’t missed anything – every show of his is exactly the same. Basically, I’ve seen him once; I’ve seen him ten times. I guess I’ve hopped off the Keller bandwagon, but I’m not sure yet if it’s for good.

Sun-poisoned Carlye Wiesel tames a monstrous phallus at Summer don’t wow me. In my opinion, they’re a little too “jammy” for me. What I dig about Umphrey’s is that their songs can be easily distinguishable from one another, and both their vocals and instrumentals stick out. moe., on the other hand, doesn’t seem to leave a lasting impression. Regardless, they put on a great live show, right down to covering Radiohead and a phenomenal lights display. After catching the first set, Dan and I passed out from our collective lack of sleep, and waited for the next day to begin.

Day Two – Saturday, May 27 If you’ve ever gone camping, you probably know what it’s like to have your body wake up solely because it’s fucking hot inside your tent. Welcome to my Saturday morning. We woke up gross, sweaty and burnt to a crisp from the day before. Well, I have no one but myself to blame for the last one. As I packed sunscreen the night before I left, I found two bottles in my towel closet – a worn-out white one and a new tan and bronze-lettered one.

Subconsciously, I grabbed the one that represented the color of skin I desired, only to have Dan laughingly point out later that it was SPF 8. Whoops.

Before we went into town to purchase ‘real’ sunscreen, I began to wipe my body down with wet-naps. As I looked at the spin-art pattern of dirt on them, I could only think one thing – how the HELL does the cast of Lost always look so good? My physical appearance has gone to shit in less than 24 hours, but after an eight-hour hike, Evangeline Lilly still looks hot. It’s so unfair.

After a drugstore visit, Subway pit-stop and a local garage sale run-by (I have an unhealthy addiction to thrifty t-shirts), Dan and I started the day off with Groovatron, who were, well, easy to groove to with their strong, jazzy feel. Next up was Elsinore, who played on the camping stage, which was a tiny stage surrounded by tents inside the woods. Their vocals reminded me a lot of a great, catchy local band called Santa, whom I really dig.

Afterward, I saw Drop Q, a band comprised of musicians in various other Chicago-based bands. On drums is the insanely talented Kris Myers, and after hearing only a few minutes of them I became an insta-fan who is already planning on coming down IN

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Day Three – Sunday, May 28 After waking up at 5 a.m. to James Brown being blasted from a far away CD player, I’ve successfully concluded that hippies must be nocturnal – when I opened my tent window, people were everywhere, walking around and hanging out.

Following a few more desperate hours of sleep, the morning consisted of packing up the car and succumbing to corporate America while grabbing food at McDonalds for the first time in a year (eew,) which depressed me until the day’s music began.

First up was The Brakes, a small band whose album Dan and I ended up buying. They are pretty much a rock version of one of my favorite bands called Down The Line, with vocals like a polished Jason Mraz or John Mayer.

Otiel and the Peacemakers were next, and even though it was about 95 degrees, they truly energized the audience. Dan enjoyed Glenn Cotche of Wilco, but I found him uninteresting, though he had quite a unique sound.

After a moe. poster signing and Umphrey’s McGee’s second show, Yonder Mountain String Band played. A few weeks ago, I realized that I absolutely love Bluegrass music, and after listening to XM’s Bluegrass Junction for an hour on the way to Summer Camp, I have truly found my new favorite Bluegrass band. Only one problem – three days of hot sun on my glowingly white skin in combination with a lack of water made me a sad victim of a sun poisoning and dehydration hybrid, forcing us to head home only 20 minutes into YMSB’s show.

So, although my experience at Summer Camp came to an early close, I was exposed to a lot of great bands and suggest you check some of them out. Oh, and in case you were wondering, I conquered my deep-rooted hate of Port-a-Potties. I guess you really can get used to anything. buzz sounds from the scene

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buzz weekly •

HE MUST DIE, MR. THORN!

album REVIEW

I was recently driving down Lake Shore Drive in Chicago, admiring the skyline and enjoying the finally summer-ish weather. My windows were rolled down, which obviously coincided with my radio being turned up really loud despite the lack of quality music on any of the stations.

Finally, I came across a song that sounded familiar and was relatively catchy, hence giving my finger a break from the scan button. It only took me one listen at the chorus to memorize its simple words and melody: “Everyone knows I’m in/Over my head/Over my head/With eight seconds left in overtime/She’s on your mind/ She’s on your mind.”

According to the radio DJ, I was listening to The Fray’s “Over My Head” off their latest effort, How to Save a Life (2005). When I got home later that evening, I decided to (legally) download the album. “She Is,” the first song of 12, left me anticlimactically bored. The line “She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted” was repeated so many times that I found mysel f actua l ly getting ir r itated.

I promptly fastforwarded to the next track.

Again, it sounded familiar, it being “Over My Head,” the song that started my downloading frenzy in the first place. But, wait a minute. If my ears aren’t deceiving me, this song isn’t really that good. Upon second listen, I quickly discovered that there was nothing particularly impressive about this track. I must have mistakenly and unwor thi ly displaced my happy-go-lucky summer mood onto the radio. After listening to the first sixth of the album, I decided that The Fray can be described as Train meets Five For Fighting — at best.

I gave the album one last chance by listening to its third track, the title song, “How to Save

moment of the week

1. THE LASSIE FOUNDATION Through And Through

Sony

BY ANNA STATHAM

KYLE B. GORMAN • STAFF WRITER

Northern

2. CAMERA OBSCURA Let’s Get Out Of This Country Merge

3. HOLY MADRE S/T NONS

4. WIRED FOR MONO A Calling From Another Station; Radio Interrupt Feedback Boogie

5. THE CORAL SEA Volcano And Heart Hidden Agenda

6. SKYWRITER Where Both Worlds Never Meet Iceberg/Wild Mood

7. DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH S/T Gravitation

a Life.” At first I thought my iTunes was on repeat. Certainly, this is the same track I just finished listening to. Unfortunately, it wasn’t.

Turns out The Fray aren’t big on the idea of mixing it up a little.

Variety not being the album’s strong suit, I never listened to the last two songs, but I’m pretty sure I know exactly how they sound. After not being able to distinguish “Fall Away” from “Heaven Forbid” from “Look After You” and being too bored to even try, I decided to cancel the download of the album. I will spare you the details and simply say that How To Save A Life is not only bland with its simple lyrics and simple percussion, but it’s oftentimes annoying with its sing-song tone and excessively repetitive choruses.

If a band includes a piano in its instrumentation and still can’t manage to stand out, it’s really disappointing to me.

7

WHAT THE HELL?!

[ PARASOL TOP TEN ]

THE FRAY How To Save A Life

8. MOJAVE 3 Puzzles Like You 4AD

9. GROWING/MARK EVAN BURDEN Split This Generation

10. SIOUXSIE & THE BANSHEES Twice Upon A Time – Single Polydor

WWW.WIKIPEDIA.ORG

Ju n e 8

An icy cube.

It’s hard to get a break if you’re Oprah Winfrey.

Your favorite author turns out to be a fake, and Trey Parker and Matt Stone aren’t far behind with their South Park farce. Your Legends Ball makes strong black women like Coretta Scott King and Maya Angelou look like screaming girls after you present them with diamond earrings. Even your therapist, Dr. Phil, is practically competing against you for viewers and ratings these days.

But it only gets worse from there, Oprah. You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge. Straight out of Compton comes a crazy-ass muthafucka named Ice Cube from the gang called N.W.A., and he isn’t having any of this.

In an interview with popular lad mag FHM, the MC and actor joined Ludacris, who appeared on her daytime show as a cast member of the racismthemed ensemble film Crash, and 50 Cent (who memorably complained that Oprah caters to, gasp, “older white women”) in criticizing the talk show hostess for her treatment of rap artists.

Cube was, of course, part of Barbershop but was not invited on her show, perhaps because of his controversial persona. But Oprah has never been one to shy away from controversy herself, as the rapper deftly points out.

“She’s had damn rapists, child molesters and lying authors on her show,” Ice Cube told the AP. “And if I’m not a rags-to-riches story for her, who is?”

Though the ’hood may have revoked Ms. Winfrey’s original gangsta status, the hostess claimed to be a hip-hop fan on New York City radio this month, claiming to enjoy megahit “In da Club” and the music of Kanye West, among others. Three out of four drunk white girls at Brothers agree: Oprah doesn’t know shit about hip-hop.

soundground #129 THIS WEEK IN MUSIC TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

At last, a real update on the new Salaryman album: the title no longer is Salaryman 3, but instead The Electric Forest. It appears on Twelve Inch Records and has ten tracks, of which “Portwine Ro a d ” i s av a i l a b l e a t www.salaryman.org for free download. Also at salaryman.org soon will be “an online interface that will allow you to remix songs from The Electric Forest.” Although its official release date is July 25, it will be available direct from Salaryman and Parasol June 27.

On May 23 Angie Heaton and the Gentle Tamers checked into Pogo Studio to record their first album together, which Heaton describes as “very country.” The Gentle Tamers are: Josh

sounds from the scene

Quirk on drums, Josh Walden on bass and Bob Watson on guitar and pedal steel. Ryan Groff of elsinore provided vocal back-up on two songs.

June 3 at The Iron Post, Heaton performed 10 songs solo, five from the album: “Heaven’s State Line,” “I Was Thinkin’ About You,” “Blue Sky Day,” “Lucky in Love” and “Train Song.”

Also June 3 at The Iron Post, as a surprise, Triple Whip provided drum-and-bass backup for Rob McColley & The Heather on five soon-to-be-released songs. Across the pond, the July 2006 issue of British music magazine Rhythm reviews Triple Whip kung fu concept EP Snake Creeps Down and includes a song from it, “Show,” on the compilation album attached.

Triple Whip plays again tonight at Brass Rail with Water Between Continents, the other local instrumental art-rock duo, and Scurvine,

the vocal rock trio with the hit single “Some of the Time” on WPGU 107.1 FM. At Brass Rail, Triple Whip will debut the tunes “Where’s the Line?” and “Secrets.” Show time is 10 p.m., and cover is $5.

Early tonight, Acoustic @ Aroma hosts Kip and Rachel Braunstadter of Cameo Turret and Kayla Brown. Show time is 8 p.m., and admission is free.

Independent Media Center has a big weekend ahead. Friday, New Ruins plays with Imaginary Numbers (Chandler, Arizona) and Kid Icarus (Kailua-Kona, Hawai’i). Show time is 8 p.m., and cover is $4. Then Saturday, aboard for an all-day party are: Bellcaster, Johnnyork, The Hemingway Method, Mit’n, The Beauty Shop, Breaksynapse, Autumn Blue, Eight Fingers Down, Coco Coca, 2*Sweet, Fireworks and

Squared Off. Show time is 4 p.m., and cover is $5.

Also Saturday, elsinore and Theor y of Everything split a bill in the beer garden at Mike ’n Molly’s. Show time is 10 p.m.

For June and July, Noah Harris has a summer concert series at The Iron Post. Every Thursday at 10 p.m., he and another acoustic act perform, except tonight when Ryan Groff does double duty. Coming attractions are: Bailey, Steve Ucherek of The Living Blue, Shipwreck and Cameron McGill. Cover tonight for Ryan Groff is $3.

Todd J. Hunter hosts WEFT Sessions and Champaign Local 901, two hours of local music every Monday at 10 p.m. on WEFT 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com. Support your scene to preserve your scene.

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cu calendar

TAKING A CUE FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY, EVENTS OF HIGH PRIORITY HAVE BEEN LABELED IN ORANGE.

Sculpture Conservation Workday Allerton Park

Live Bands Cameo Turret Aroma Cafe 8pm, free Louisana Red Canopy Club, 8pm, $12 in advance/$15 Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern 9pm, free Will Rogers Band Neil St. Pub, 10pm, cover Triple Whip, Scurvine, Water Between Continents Brass Rail, 10pm, $5 The Breaks, Krukid Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 Ryan Groff Iron Post 10pm, cover Shovelwrack White Horse Inn, 10:30pm, free DJ Zen Thursday’s: DJ Asiatic Soma, 9pm, free Thirsty Thursday: DJ Dice, DJ Smooth V Lava, 9pm, $5 DJ Huggy Joe’s Brewery 10pm, cover Metal Thursday Highdive 10pm, cover DJ Limbs Boltini 10:30pm, free

Ever been to Allerton Park in nearby Monticello? If you have not, you are truly missing out on one of the finest parks in Central Illinois. Among the sights to be seen are the Allerton mansion, formal gardens and dozens of sculptures. Volunteers are needed to help with the maintenance and cleaning of Allerton Park’s sculpture pieces on June 14 from 9 a.m. to noon. It is a perfect time to visit the park and get an up-close look at the wonderful variety of sculptures that Allerton Park has to offer, and it will make everyone’s trip to the park in the future more enjoyable.

Allerton Park is located at 625 E. County Road in Monticello.

—Todd Swiss

THU. JUN. 08

HTTP://WWW.ALLERTON.UIUC.EDU

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Radmaker’s Billiard and Sports Bar, 7pm, free Boneyard Karaoke Memphis on Main, 7:30pm, free Karaoke Fat City Saloon 8pm, free “G” Force Karaoke Pia’s of Rantoul, 9pm, free Liquid Courage Karaoke The Office, 10pm, free

Film “Smoke Signals” screening [Sherman Alexie film screening as a preview to his visit on June 12 at Champaign Public Library at 7 p.m.] Douglass Branch Library, 6pm, free

FRI. JUN. 09 Live Bands Billy Galt Blues Barbecue 11:30am, free Central High School Jazz Combo Fat City Saloon 4:30pm, donations Painkillers Iron Post 5pm, cover Jazz Mayhem Cowboy Monkey, 5:30pm, free New Ruins, Imaginary Numbers, The Encyclopedias, Catch the Bear, Kid Icarus Independent Media Center, 8pm, $4 Crown Atlantic, Hotter Than June, Stella Polaris Canopy Club, 8pm, $5 Barb Hamilton Hubers 8pm, free G. Lee Ned Kelly’s Steakhouse, 8pm, free Pirates of the Boneyard Memphis on Main, 8:30pm, $4 Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Delta Kings Phoenix, 9pm cover NIX Tommy G’s, 9:30pm cover Will Rogers Band Fat City Saloon, 10pm, cover Quadremedy White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Weapons of Mass DisFunktion Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4

DJ Tremblin BG Barfly, 10pm free DJ J-Phlip Boltini, 10:30pm free

Blackalicious June 14, 8 pm Canopy Club, $15

Dancing Rumba dance classes Independent Media Center 7pm, $40 for six weeks Beginning Salsa classes Independent Media Center 8pm, $40 for six weeks

As much as I love Li’l Jon’s new single, “Snap Ya Fingas,” sometimes I think radio rap gives hip-hop, as a whole, a bad name. A cheesy keyboard line and a tinny drum machine are good for ironic indie pop, not for crunk jams you hear when you go out in public. Just like in the rock genre, rap’s worst gets the most press and attention. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that there is more to the world of music than Fall Out Boy and Chamillionaire. A wonderful reminder that there’s so much more would be the duo Blackalicious.

Lectures / Discussions Bob Askey, Talking Books narrator [Bob Askey, narrator of more than 800 audiobooks, will speak at the Urbana Free Library in the Lewis Auditorium. Askey ended his 30-year career with Talking Books in 2004, but his remarkable voice lives on in books ranging from “The Cat in the Hat” to the Bible. Askey has twice won the Alexander Scourby Narrator of the Year Award, presented by the American Foundation for the Blind.] Urbana Free Library, 3pm, free

Similar to acts like Jurassic 5, Blackalicious has always favored a more upbeat style of hip-hop. Instead of focusing on killing people and objectifying women over a gunshot sample, ‘Licious has a feel good sound and lyrics that often dwell on the spiritual and philosophical. Lyrically brilliant, musically lush and comparable to few, Blackalicious has a live show on par with their acclaimed careers thus far. Better than Bubba Sparxxx and Young Jeezey, see one of the most revered names in hip-hop this weekend; their beats will make ya snap ya fingas.

—Brian McGovern WWW.BLACKALICIOUS.COM

WED. JUN. 14 DJ Tim Williams Highdive 10pm, $5 DJ Mertz Boltini 10:30pm, free Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke The Brickhouse, 9pm, free

DJ Elise Boltni, 10:30pm

SAT. JUN. 10 Live Bands Bellcaster, Johnnyork, The Hemingway Method, Mit’N, The Beauty Shop, Breaksynapse, Autumn Blue, Eight Fingers Down, Coco-Coca, 2*Sweet, Fireworks, Squared Off Independent Media Center, 4pm, $5 Shadows of Doubt Alto Vineyards, 7:30pm, $3 New Twang City Hubers 8pm, free The Reflections Memphis on Main, 8:30pm, $4 Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Bang Phoenix, 9pm, $3 Brian Granse Loop Show Iron Post, 9pm, cover Candy Foster and the Shades of Blue Cowboy Monkey 9:30pm, $4 Jab Tommy G’s, 9:30pm cover Will Rogers Band Neil St. Pub, 10pm, cover Clio, The Anti-Social End, Mindfull Explosion Canopy Club 10pm, $5 Elsinore, Theory of Everything Mike & Molly’s, 10pm cover DJ Swing Dancing with DJ Lin-o Cowboy Monkey, 6pm, free DJ Bozak Soma 8pm, free DJ White Horse Inn 9:30pm, free DJ Naughty Boy Joe’s Brewery, 10pm, cover DJ Tim Williams Highdive 10pm, $5

Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 8-10:30pm, free Salsa Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 10:30pm, $3

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s 9pm, free

Gift of Gab and Chief Xcel met in Sacremento in 1987 while still attending high school. In the mid- and late-’90s, Blackalicious put out a couple EPs from Solesides Records. Their well-overdue full-length debut came out in 2000. Since Nia, the group has put out two other albums with guests like ?uestlove from The Roots and Zack de la Rocha from the late Rage Against the Machine appearing on tracks.

DJ DJ Elise Boltini, 6pm, free DJ Bozak Soma, 8pm, free DJ LNO Nargile, 9pm, free before 10pm DJ Who Joe’s Brewery 10pm, cover

Chef Ra Barfly, 10pm, free

Karaoke “G” Force Karaoke American Legion Post 71, 8pm, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s 9pm, free Lectures / Discussions Sherman Alexie Preview Discussion Champaign Public Library, 2pm, free Film Bill and Ted’s Excelllent Adventure Behind 202 S. Vine 9:30pm, free

SUN. JUN. 11 Live Bands Benefit for Kourtney Leonard with Playerz, Renegade, and Candy Foster and the Shades of Blue Memphis on Main, 8:30pm, $4 Leah Meador Organ Trio Iron Post, 9pm, cover Skeletons and The Kings of all Cities Pop, The Lympyc System, Our Brother the Native, Pulsar 47 Cowboy Monkey, 9:30pm, $5 Concerts Starlight Musical: Unity Aires Gospel Singers Douglass Park, 6pm, free Parkland Big Band Hessel Park, 6:30pm, free DJ sOUL tREE: DJ LNO Nargile 9pm, free before 10pm

MON. JUN. 12 Live Bands Grass Roots Revival Kickapoo Canoe Landing, 5:30pm free Fuedin’ Hillbillys Rose Bowl Tavern, 6pm, free MRS Trio Iron Post, 6pm, $2 Michael Davis Bentley’s Pub 7pm, free Open Mic Night Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Finga Lickin The Office 10:30pm, free DJ Jazz Mondays Nargile, 8pm free DJ Delayney Barfly, 10pm free

Grass Roots Revival Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free Spoken Word/Open Mic Nargile, 9pm, free Open Mic Canopy Club, 9pm $2 if under 21 DJ Zoo Theatre Company’s Boltini Bingo and Lounge Variety Show Boltini, 7pm, free Atomic Age Cocktail Party: DJ Jason Croft Cowboy Monkey 8pm, free Subversion: DJ Evily, DJ Twinscin Highdive, 10pm, $2 DJ Hoff, DJ Bambino Mike & Molly’s, 10pm, cover

Live Bands Irish Traditional Music Session Bentley’s Pub, 7pm, free Chip McNeill Quartet Iron Post, 7pm, cover Blackalicious Canopy Club 8pm, $13 in advance/$15 Fuedin’ Hillbillys Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Soultro Joe’s Brewery 10pm, cover Lorenzo Goetz Canopy Club 11:30pm, free Concerts Men of Essence Garden Hills Park, 6:30pm, free DJ Welcome Back Wednesdays: DJ LNO Nargile, 8pm, cover DJ Stifler Highdive, 8pm, $5

Dancing Belly dancing classes Independent Media Center 7pm, $40 for six weeks Argentine Tango classes Independent Media Center 8pm, $54 for six weeks Intermediate salsa classes Independent Media Center 9pm, $40 for six weeks

Miscellaneous Sculputure conservation workday [Volunteers needed to help with the maintenance and cleaning of Allerton Park’s sculpture pieces.] Allerton Park, 9am to noon, free

art & theater Project 66: An Exploration of Utopia Inspired by the Works of Ilya and Emilia Kabakov [Project 66 is both an installation and a Web site created by a group of students from the School of Art and Design, the Department of Computer Science and other campus units.]

Krannert Art Museum through July 30 Pour la Victoire: French Posters and Photographs of the Great War [Graphically charged, lushly colored lithographic posters from World War I vividly depict the place of women in the war effort, the need for personal sacrifice on the home front and the position of French colonial subjects.]

Krannert Art Museum through July 30 Designing Experiences: How Graphic and Industrial Design Shape Daily Life [Design is less about generating products than it is about creating experiences through products that satisfy functional, as well as spiritual, cultural, social, tribal and emotional needs. This exhibition profiles everyday products and solutions to visual communication problems created by UIUC Graphic and Industrial Design Alumni, and includes information about the designers, the design process and history of the products.]

Krannert Art Museum through July 30 Rain Forest Visions [This exhibition focuses on artistic representations by contemporary, indigenous South American people of ecological, mythical and cosmic spirit forces in their lives. The focal people, whose myths and narratives provide the basis for the imagery, are the Canelos Quichua of Amazonian Ecuador. Complementary artifacts come from the Achuar, Tigua, and Chachi of Ecuador, the Shipibo-Conibo of Peru, the Waounam and Emberá of Colombia and Panama, the Tukuna of Colombia and Brazil and the Yekuana of Venezuela.]

Spurlock Museum through Aug. 20 Visits [Works by Billy and Siti Mariah Jackson] Verde Gallery through June 17 Acrylic Self Portraits [Champaign Centennial High School Painting class exhibit] Pages For All Ages through June 30

Lectures / Discussions Sherman Alexie at Champaign Public Library [Come see “Reservation Blues” author and “Smoke Signals” screenwriter] Champaign Public Library, 7pm, free

Parkland College Digital Media Student Juried Exhibition Parkland Art Gallery through June 22

TUE. JUN. 13 Live Bands Billy Galt Blues Barbecue 11:30am, free

Karaoke Karaoke White Horse Inn 9:30pm, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovantis, 10pm, free

PUZZLE pg. 15

Smithsonian Institution’s Between Fences Exhibit [This exhibit explores the importance of the fence and boundaries, both real and imagined, in the development of the U.S.] Early American Museum through July 4

VISIT WWW.CUCALENDAR.COM FOR THE MOST CURRENT EV ENTS AND TO ADD YOUR OWN.

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sounds from the scene

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buzz weekly

THEN THE DOCTOR TOLD ME THAT BOTH OF MY EYES WERE LAZY, IT WAS THE BEST SUMMER EVER.

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Teamwork allows common people to attain uncommon results...

The mission of Krannert Center for the Performing Arts is to nurture excellence and innovation in the performing arts through education, presentation, community service, and research.

Krannert Center for the Performing Arts publicly recognizes all the dedicated and caring individuals who generously give their time and effort to the Center.

Volunteers help make our mission a reality.

Community Volunteers Marilyn Abbuehl Shirley Arnote Marolyn Banner Sandra Batzli Mary Bauling Richard & Joan Bazzetta Pam Bedford Bob Blissard Marilyn Boddy Lou Brown Joan Reiley Burke Helen Birkett Sandy Burr Lillian Caneva Felix Chan Jo Cochran Catherine Cutter Astrid Dussinger Elizabeth Easley Elaine Ebeling Vennie Ewing Marjorie Feitshans Ernest & Genelle Furrow Inga Giles Ed & Beez Gordon Elizabeth Gray Mary Gritten Ernest Gullerud Rebecca Hanson Ruth Harms Sue Heiser Eleanor Hoch Debra Karplus Wayne & Jackie Kennen

Marilyn Kirtland Betty Kmoch Ann Marie Kottenstelle Marta Ladd Vivian Larson Linda Lewis Roberta Lindstrand Mike & Linda Lopez Penny Lopez Klara Lueschen Janice Maddox Donna Mason Jean Mason Milena Medanic Carol Miles Carol & Michael Miller Margrith Mistry Linda Morris Jane Myers Barb Nelson Jo Nelson Marge Olson Nancy Osterhoff Ann Pershing Jan Peterson Gayle Pfoor Lynn & Karla Podoll Ginny Putman Marilyn Querry Gerrie Rein Annette Schoenberg Gerry Schriefer Barb Schultz Dawn Schultz Roslyn Schumacher

John & Eva Scouffas Millie Sims Jane Smith Bernadine Stake Shirley Starr Stella Sundy Alice Taylor Sue Thurmon Julia Ulen Lynda Umbarger Berta Wendel Ed & Diane Wilhite Jim & Jo Williams Betty Wirt Frank & Susie Wright Ann Wymore Virgie Young Suzanne Younger Angela Zahnd

Student Association Esin Acar Baris Aktemur Robin Amado Rhiannon Ardisana Christie Barchenger Suhail Barot Amar Kumar Behera Kristin Bernacki Kathryn Broderick Katie Bruce Adam Bussan Gabriela Carrasco Daniela Casanello Frisuis

Nancy Castellanos Josephine Chang Jiahao (Jay) Chen Li-Eng Chen Shi Chen Xiaoyu Chen Andrew Chiu Mustafa Cinoglu Greg Colombo Rivkah Cooke Theresa Craig Jacob Crawford Vasilica Crecea Pam Cruz Brian Cudiamat Laura Cullen Jessica Danzer Brian DeGrush Emre Demiralp Olena DiMauro Cynthia Edwards Stephanie Elmer David Escobar Kaytlyn Fairbairn Kelly Flessner Gabriel Fuenzalida Scott Garnick Josh Gerdes Amanda Goddard Soon Sim Goh Leslie Goldberg Rachel Goldfarb Christopher Gregory Yan Gu Xiaoyue Guan

Thank you!

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Bharath Gudivada Lindsey Hajduk Roger Harty Bin (Bryan) Hu Laura Hubley Amelia Hutnick Nejan Huvaj Aarti Israni Amanda Jablonsky Cyril Jacquot Muhamad Hazlan Jamal Amy Jankowski Hong Jin Candice Jones Sara Junya Susie Kah Josh Kalov Fia Kilbourn Susana Kimura Yee Lih Koh Fred Koschmann Antonette (Annie) Kosinski Tsz Mei Kwok Leah Lakarosky Maria Lamal Claudia Lardizabal Jinna Lee Kyung Lee Susan Lester John Li Stephen Lilly Eun Lim Jing Lin Tamara Linne Erin MacDonald Aguinaldo Maciente Paul Malina Angela Man Michelle McCormick Jonathan McDaniel

Megan McMillen Melanie Medic Joseph Meier Lauren Mietelski Andy Mitofsky Candace Montgomery Matthew Montgomery Michelle Moy Daniel Newman Tracy Ng Huazhong Ning Kyoung Eun Noh David Noreen Emma O’Brien Bridget O’Neill Misato Otsuka Hasan Ozer Kate Parkhurst Celina Petersen Sandra Pierzchala Christine Placek Kimberly Redeker Jan Reichwald Catherine Roberts Rachel Rodriquez Carolyn Roloff Lindsay Ross Jenn Rourke Pablo Ruiz Kristina Ruskuls Lindsey Salazar Heidi Samojluk Suleyman Sarihan Rachel Sauer Kimberly Scarbello Tim Schwab Adam Schwartz Gautam Shah Yan Shen Wei Shi

Mika Shiramizu Deborah Shub Laura Smith Jun Song Tanya Spektor Sarah Stone Susan Storm Polyxeni Strolonga Chad Stroud Przemyslaw Szumowski Heather Taff Andrie Tanusetiawan Carolyn Thomas Jack Thomas Umit Tursun Burcu Ucaray Domini Velissaris Erik Volkman Kandace Walker Sarah Wan Rachael Waugh David Weiss Paul Welander Graham Widmer Feben Woldmariam Pan Wong Millie Wright Meghan Wyllie Emily Xu Mary Yahl Alex Yang Bryan Yang Vicky Yang Bei Ye Julie Yen Serdar Yuksel Cindy Zeng Gehui Zhang Huaibin Zhang Tianwei Zhang

Krannert Center thanks the Illini Emergency Medical Service for assuring the safety of our patrons by giving caring and consistent emergency medical support.

Thank you for your continued service.

We invite you to join the volunteer team at Krannert Center!

Please join us at an orientation session Saturday, June 10 at 3pm Tryon Festival Theatre Foyer For more information, please call 217/244-0549 or email volunteer@kcpa.uiuc.edu. We look forward to working with you!

sounds from the scene

11

stage, screen & i n b e t w e e n

SUMMER TH EATRE FESTIVALS ABOU N D!!

SUMMER THEATRE FESTIVA LS ABOUND GET OUT OF THE CU AND GO SEE SOME QUALITY THEATRE

I

f you are traveling this summer and want an alternative to summer action fi lms, four theater festivals within a day’s drive from Urbana-Champaign just might satisfy your craving for some meaningful entertainment in the performing arts.

ILLINOIS SHAKESPEARE FESTIVAL Formed in 1978 by Illinois State University’s Department of Theatre and College of Fine Arts in cooperation with the nonprofit organization the Illinois State University Foundation, the Illinois Shakespeare Festival offers three Shakespeare plays this season: Julius Caesar, A Comedy of Errors and Pericles. These plays will run in repertory from June 28 to August 13 and will be performed outdoors in an Elizabethan-style theatre constructed on the grounds of Ewing Manor in Bloomington. Tickets are now available. Call 309-438-8110 or visit www.thefestival.org.

AMERICAN PLAYERS SUMMER While not necessarily a festival, the American Players Theatre will feature a repertory schedule from June 10 to October 8 of three of Shakespeare’s better known plays: Julius Caesar, Measure for Measure and Romeo and Juliet. In addition to these standards, they will also offer two 20th century classics: Shaw’s Arms and the Man and Thornton Wilder’s The Matchmaker. Here, again in a beautiful outdoor setting, is another fi ne theater company for a summer of classics on stage. Call 608-588-2361 or check out www.americanplayers.com.

STRATFORD FESTIVAL If you would like your classics a little classier and indoors, take a long day’s drive to Ontario, Canada, to the Stratford Festival in Stratford, Ontario. It should take about 10 hours to reach from east central Illinois. In 2006, Stratford will provide everything from the Bard’s best to a world premiere about one of the 19th century’s most interesting women. In the realm of

Shakespeare, Stratford will offer Coriolanus, Much Ado About Nothing, Twelfth Night and Henry IV, Part One. You can hear Moliere’s Don Juan in French or English if you come later in the season, enjoy Tennessee Williams’ The Glass Menagerie, or catch the fi rst run of Peter Hinton’s Fanny Kemble in August. There will also be Ibsen’s Ghosts, Webster’s The Duchess of Malfi and two musicals: South Pacifi c and Oliver. These productions run on varied schedules from May to October, and particulars can be found at www.stratfordfestival.ca or by calling call 800-567-1600.

THE SHAW FESTIVAL Three hours east in Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario, is The Shaw Festival. This is the world’s only festival anchored around the works of George Bernard Shaw. This year’s Shaw season runs from May to early November with shows opening and closing as the summer progresses. Starting with Shaw himself, the Festival will present Arms and the Man and Too True to Be Good. Shaw has more to show, though. There is the musical High Society and an adaptation of Philip Barry’s The Philadelphia Story

by Cole Porter and Arthur Kopit. For lovers of 20th century drama, there is The Heiress, the stage adaptation of Henry James’ Washington Square, Noel Coward’s Design for Living and Shaw’s Ibsen offering for this season, Rosmersholm.

The Shaw Festival will also have a season long production of Arthur Miller’s The Crucible, and for those who want something rarely shown, Shaw has two real rarities. There will be a stage adaptation H. G. Wells’ The Invisible Man by Michael O’Brien and a rarely performed Chekhov one act, Love Among the Russians.

For further information and some details not contained herein, go to www.shawfest.com or call 800-511-7429. When traveling to Canada, be sure you bring proof of citizenship. buzz Mark Twain once defined a literary classic as a work everyone praises and nobody reads. There may be some truth in that, Cynthia Dale as Ensign Nellie Forbush but this summer you can see and hear classic theatre in these festivals, whether you know about them or not. Happy traveling.

PHOTO BY DAVID HOU

JEFF NELSON • STAFF WRITER

THE TORONTO PUBLIC LIBRARY’S THE RESEARCH VIRTUOSO: Brilliant Methods for the Normal Mind JEFF NELSON • STAFF WRITER

W

e live in world where information is in constant demand. For the last 15 years, our fi rst association with information has been the Internet, and libraries have had to change with that technology. From The Reader’s Guide and reference books, we have shifted primarily to Internet search engines.

All of us have needed that critical information source for a looming research paper, presentation, class lesson or source to settle that argument. At less than half a pound, numbering a mere 80 pages and sporting a breezy format, The Toronto Public Library’s The Research Virtuoso is an ideal quick study to get that essential information.

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One wonderful feature this book provides is a guide to getting started with old-fashioned reference books so you can limit your research responses with more focused searches.

Can you say, “Limits?” Yes, one of the good/bad aspects of mega-search engines like Google is that they can bring you an excess of information. Guides to Boolean searches, wildcard symbols and format-specif ic searching are all found in this book and may save you hours of chasing information down dead-end e-streets.

There are guides to help you avoid plagiarism, (which they note come from the Latin word “plagiarius,” meaning

kidnapper). Keep track of your downloads and even a section on ways to evaluate the worth of information on Web sites.

For such a modestly subtitled book, Brilliant Methods for the Normal Mind, one would expect much, and in these compact 80 pages, there is a helper that fits easily into a backpack and could be your best map and travel guide down the information highway. If you want a quick study on how libraries came to the Western World, in under 150 pages, Lionel Casson does just that in Libraries in the Ancient World (Yale University Press). This would be the perfect add-on to The Research Virtuoso, a product of those wonderful institutions we call libraries.

INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE , S CREEN &

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Ju n e 8

HAVE SOME WHISKEY, CAPâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;N FUN!

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ARTISTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CORNER

brian sullivan

CRYSTAL LIGON â&#x20AC;˘ CONTRIBUTING WRITER

and I think thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the most important thing for meâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the expression.

All my work, sculptures or photo-transfers, is complex. You might not get it right away when you look at it. In fact, every time you look at it youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to see more things because itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s so chalk-full of stuff . Different people can come to my work and look at it and because of their experiences in their life will see and experience dif ferent things. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what is important about my work.

For instance, on one of my large-scale paintings I did a whole series of clowns and court jesters and Alice in Wonderland f igures. So there were f ive or six paintings that were similar. They f it as a series, and I really liked those because I think as individuals, and as a group, they were strong and interesting pieces. I probably do not have a favorite on any of them because each piece or series leads to the next one. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a journey.

What makes being an artist worth the trouble?

PHOTO BY CHRISTINA LEUNG

What inspires you?

Brian Sullivan, 47, earned a Bachelor of Fine Arts in sculpture at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee in 1981 and a Master of Fine Arts in sculpture at the University of Illinois in 1988. He has been a professional artist for 25 years and lives in Champaign. Two of his pieces will be featured in the 62nd Annual Wabash Valley Juried Exhibition at the Swope Museum in Terre Haute, Ind., from July 8 through Sept. 1, 2006.To see some of Sullivanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s artwork, visit his Web site www.briansullivanart.com.

What kind of art do you do?

I take a lot of classes at Parkland and enjoy learning and cross-mixing media, sometimes cross-mixing painting, print or sculpture. I like to experiment.

I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to just be a photographer, a painter or a printmaker. If I have a certain message to say, maybe a certain medium would be better used to say that message. If I have to use ceramics or sculpture or photography, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have a problem crossing over. I never stay in only one medium,

For me itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an inner drive to make something. I have millions of ideas in my head and to make the art is to get them out. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s internal; it just comes out of me, and I just do it. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m trying to make new art, new things. Not everything I make is great, so I chuck it, but that one piece may lead to another idea. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know what my work is going to be until Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m fi nished. And Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not concerned that each piece is a masterpiece. I never think that any one piece is so much better. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only just the process. It just leads me to the next one.

I get a lot of joy out of experimenting and playing with different materials. I go to a lot of antique stores and rummage sales. I need a lot of visual stimulation to get ideas. I never look at the experiments as failures. To me itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just a way of playing. I enjoy messing around with different things. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think the piece of art is that precious; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the experiments that got you there. I think that this process is just as important.

Do you have a personal favorite piece of work or a favorite art medium? What is it?

I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t because I cross over. I might look back over some years and say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Oh, I think thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a really good piece,â&#x20AC;? or â&#x20AC;&#x153;I really like that piece for certain reasons.â&#x20AC;?

But when I look back, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have any one that I really like. There are certain series that I might like.

Usually, in any medium that I work in, this would probably go for any artist, I try to make a consistent body of work.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s actually very depressing and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s very hard, and if you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have a thick skin youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll jump off a building. You donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get any money, you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get any pay, and you have no benefits. Basically, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m struggling to do a bunch of other side jobs to survive and pay the bills. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mean just now, I mean the last 25 to 30 years. I can only say I do it because itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sort of who I am and what I am, and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve always done it. And I think it has to do with being true to yourself. I think itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a personal thing. Each time I make pieces I want to try new techniques or learn different things to push it to the next level.

What do you see for your future? What are your goals?

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve always been more intuitive. I go with the flow. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know where Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m going to be five years from now because even if I try as hard as I want to go in a direction, life has always thrown me different paths in the road and have taken me to probably better places than I could even imagine. I want to be open to that.

I, daily, keep plodding along and different opportunities open up or new ideas come and I might work on them or maybe I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t. I like dabbling in everything. Where it leads me â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll just be surprised. I really do believe that someday, something good will come of my artwork. Just by being persistent and continuing on, it will lead me somewhere thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s better than I could imagine. I just take it on intuition that this is the right path. buzz

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THE BREAK UP RANDY MA â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

T

he Break Up is a conundrum of a date movie.

The plot is simpleâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the couple, Gary (Vince Vaughn) and Brooke ( Jennifer Aniston), break up but remain in the same Chicago condo.

Ironically, the most consistently funny parts of the movie reside in the fi rst 30 minutes when Gary and Brooke are together.

Vaughn and Anniston are both strong, charismatic and likable personalities. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s easy to watch these two not only bicker but genuinely enjoy each other for the brief time theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re together.

There is a mish-mash of subtle and outrageous humor that complement each other but more importantly, provide a bit of insight into the male/female dynamic. The movie follows more

-!$!'!3#!2 0'

to the humor of The 40-Year-Old Virgin than Wedding Crashers.

Yet sadly, the rest of the fi lmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s humor rarely hits and often misses. It not only hinders the movie but actually makes the audience apathetic to whether Gary and Brooke get back together.

It is clear that these two are such opposites there is no reason for Brooke to continue putting effort into the relationship. The poor pacing of the movie makes The Break Up actually boring to watch at times. There are a few gags, such as Gary playing online football with a 12-year-old, that hit the mark. But these are far and few between.

Even more surprising are the missed opportunities taken with the strong supporting cast. The movie has a huge roster of friends and family who are itching to interact more with these two but instead are placed on the sidelines.

Unexpectedly, there is one emotionally wonderful scene in The Break Up. It is when Brooke walks

in after going on a spite-date to find Gary in the aftermath of a spite-strip poker match. It is a shot-reverse-shot of Brookeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reaction and Garyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s realization that he has lost not only Brookeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s respect but her adoration.

However, this scene is not properly utilized and becomes subservient to a lesser poignant attempt at defi ning this crumbling relationship.

In the end, The Break Up becomes an exact product of the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Vaugnistonâ&#x20AC;? phenomenon.

Audiences will go to see these two celebrities together and end up disappointed with the results. There is a g reat date mov ie here somewhere, and for a brief moment, it seems to hit a home run.

However, just like any debunked relationship, the good times always seem too brief and the separation excruciating. Was it worth it all in the end? Not for a ticket price of more than $5.

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INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE , S CREEN &

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WANT TO SELL THAT GREEN VELVET COUCH OF YOURS? CALL BUZZ CLASSIFIEDS AT 337-8337 | DATEXXXXXX, 2003

Ju n e 8

•

J u n e 1 4 , 2 oo 6

APARTMENTS

PHONE: 217 - 337 - 8337 DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion.

• All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time.

• All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student.

• Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment.

• All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student.

• This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

Employment 000 010

HELP WANTED Full Time

Help Wanted.

Summer Employment. Painting. Hiring Now! Call 309-337-2906

HELP WANTED

020

HELP WANTED

030

Full/Part Time

$8.25/hour Warehouse associates, full- and part-time. Downtown Champaign.

Easy access from buses. Lifting up to 70 pounds. Apply at Meyer Drapery, 330 N. Neil, Champaign. 3525318.

Transportation 300 AUTOMOBILES

Combination job opening in Downtown flowershop: Daily after-hours cleaning plus Saturday delivery driver 9-3. Must be reliable and trustworthy with valid Driver’s License and high standards. Some heavy lifting. Apply in person. Rick Orr Florist 122 N. Walnut, Champaign.

1995 Cadillac DeVille. Black with tan leather. All power. Must sell. $3100 obo. 377-8522.

NOW HIRING FOR SUMMER & FALL We’re looking for reliable, smart, motivated salespeople to work in our ad department. You’ll be our main contact for student organizations, University departments, and customers placing classified ads. Must be available to work at least 10 hrs. per week between 8-5pm.

If interested, please send resume to dawn@illinimedia.com. Include your fall and summer semester availability and answer the question, “Why should I hire you?” fightingillinineedjobs.com We need Paid Survey Takers in Urbana. 100% FREE to join. Click on Surveys

APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished

410

Apartments APARTMENTS

310

400 410

Furnished/Unfurnished EXECUTIVE LOFT 201 S. Wright St., Champaign.

Adjacent to Engineering campus.

Loft bedroom, security parking, balcony, A/C, laundry.

Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012

Old Town Champaign

Convenient to campus & downtown, old town Champaign, 1 & 2 BR’s, available starting June, July & August. From $380/mo.Call 352-8540, or see: www.faronproperties.com

706 S. WALNUT, U Aug 2006. 1 bdrms from $485/mo. 2 bdrms from $515/mo. Central A/C, Laundry.

Parking.

Furnished $50/mo. Shown 7 days/k.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished

410

1 bedroom lofts $535 2 bedrooms $575 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $925 Campus, parking.

Spring ‘06, 367-6626

105 E. JOHN Available Fall 2006. 1 bedroom furnished, great location. Includes parking. Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup95.com

609 W. MAIN, U. Aug. 2006. 2 bdrm Townhouses Furnished $600/mo, Unfurnished $580/mo. 2 bdrm apts Furnished $525/mo. 1 bdrm apts Furnished $470/mo. Parking optional, Central A/C, Carpet, Laundry, Ethernet avail. Shown 7 days/wk.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480.

1 Br. $395 2 BR. $495 3 BR. $750 4 BR $855 Campus. 367-6626.

Furnished

212 E. John 1 bedroom apartment, furnished and A/C for Fall. Includes Water, Free Parking, No Pets. $460/mo. 3525207

Furnished/Unfurnished

410

106 E. STOUGHTON, C

706 S. FIRST, C Aug 2006. Half block south of Green. 1 bdrm from $415/mo. 2 bdrms from $490/mo. Window A/C, Ethernet avail. Parking at $40/mo.

Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

509 Stoughton Near Grainger, Spacious studios and 2 bedrooms, ethernet, parking.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

August 2006. 1 bedrooms. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Aug 2006. Near First and Gregory.

2 bedroom apts from $625/mo.

Ethernet available, Window A/C, Carpet, Laundry. Parking $40/mo.

Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

105 E. GREEN, C Aug 2006. Studio Apts. Wall A/C units, Laundry, Ethernet avail. From $310/mo. Parking $50/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

705 W. Stoughton

Available June 1- Studios 1 bedroom • 2 bedroom• 3 bedroom www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

APARTMENTS Furnished

2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

106 DANIEL, C.

702 W. WESTERN, U Aug 2006. 1 bdrms, Window A/C, carpet/tile floors, laundry. Parking avail. Rent from $410 to $535/mo.

Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

420

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

Fall 2006. Efficiencies. Secured building. Private parking. Laundry on site, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

3 bedroom apartment Spacious living area. Communal balcony & great backyard. Plus a bar area in kitchen.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182

DEADLINE:

Aug 2006. 1 Bdrms near Engineering campus. Wall A/C, Parking. Rent $425/mo. Shown 7 days/wk.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1107 S. EUCLID, C Aug 2006. Near Armory, IMPE and Snack Bar. Window A/C, Laundry, Ethernet avail. Rents from $395/mo.

Parking $50/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com 1108 W. Church, Urbana. 2 Bedroom apartment just seconds from Engineering campus. All utilities included! Plenty of free Parking in driveway and on street. Available immediately, apartment comes fully furnished Very unique layout, Must see! $650/mo., 344-8810.

3rd and Clark Leasing for August ‘06. Beautiful furnished 3 bedroom 1 bath, and 4 bedroom 2 bath apartments at 3rd and Clark . Nicest on campus $700$1,000 per month. Ted 766-5108.

502 E. HEALEY, C August 2006. JUST REMODELEDTOP TO BOTTOM!!!! NEW NEW NEW!!!! The BEST LOCATED EFFICIENCIES & 1 BEDROOMS on campus- period. Here's the best part: Efficiencies $385/mo & 1 bedrooms $550/mo. Ethernet avail.

Parking avail. Shown 7 days/wk.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

503- 505- 508 E. White Fall 2006. 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kyle, 202-7240.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

GREAT VALUE

306-308-309 White August 2006. 1 & 3 Bedroom furnished apts. Balconies, patios, laundry, dishwashers, off-street parking, ethernet available. 841-1996.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

ARBOR APARTMENTS, C. Aug 2006. 1 bdrms at Third & Gregory across from Snack Bar. Window A/C, Laundry, Ethernet avail. Rents from $390/mo. Parking $50/mo.

Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Aug 2006. Huge one bdrms, Ethernet avail, Window A/C. Rents from $370/mo. Parking $20/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

307 & 310 E. WHITE 307 & 309 CLARK

THE GEORGIAN 1005 S. SIXTH, C

Fall 2006 Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup.com 352-3182

311 E. WHITE, C Avail Aug 2006. Large efficiencies close to Beckman Center. From $340/mo. Parking avail at $35/mo.

Window A/C, carpet, Ethernet avail.

Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

506 E. Stoughton, C. For August 2006. Extra large efficiency apartments. Security building entry, complete furniture, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available.

Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

APARTMENTS Furnished

420

JOHN & LOCUST, C

Aug 2006. Next to UI Library. 1 bedrooms from $460 to $550/mo.

Laundry, Window A/C, Carpet.

Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

509 E. White, C. August 2006. Large 1 bedrooms.

Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

509 W. MAIN, U. Aug 2006. 1 BR apts. From $400/mo. Laundry, window A/C, Parking avail at $35/mo. Ethernet available. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

AVAILABLE FOR FALL 2006

RATES:

URBANA LOCATIONS:

Billed rate: 38¢/word

1005 E. Colorado: $425 UF 1 bdrm., apts at the corner of Colorado and Cottage Grove. Newly remodeled units with new flooring, cabinets, appliances, A/C. On the busline, just 1 1/2 miles away from campus. Great location for grad students. Security locked building. Water, sewer and hauling paid. Parking available.

Paid-in-Advance: 32¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue

CHAMPAIGN LOCATIONS:

Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

56/58 E. Healey: $400-$450 F 1 bdrm. apts at corner of Healey and First Street. Many units remodeled, some with dishwashers. Security locked building, on site laundry. Rent includes heat. Parking available.

512 E. Clark: $360-$370 F efficiency apts., at corner of Clark and Sixth Street. Large units with double closets. Water included. Parking available.

Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

420

420

For August 2006. 1 bedroom apartments. Ethernet available. Some townhouses. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

1007 S. FIRST, C

Available Now 1 bedroom $385 Campus. 367-6626

APARTMENTS Furnished

1006 S. 3RD, C.

Quality campus apartments and group houses. Marcus 621-3971.

APARTMENTS

420

1005 S. SECOND, C

407 E. University, fully equipped- microwave, washer/dryer in-unit. Security building with elevator. Balconies, underground parking.

Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012

APARTMENTS

APARTMENTS Furnished

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WHEN I GROW UP, I WANT TO BE A PRINCIPAL OR A CATERPILLAR.

HERITAGE PROPERTY MANAGEMENT, INC.

1206 S. RANDOLPH SUITE B, CHAMPAIGN • 351-1803 IN

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APARTMENTS

Ju n e 8

WHEN I GROW UP I’M GOING TO BOVINE UNIVERSITY.

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604 E. White, C. Security Entrance For Fall 2006, Large 1 bedroom, furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available.

Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 901 Main Street 3 Bedroom $975, Studio $450- all utilities included.

2 Bedroom- $650.

201 Busey 3 Bedroom $975, 1 Bedroom $550 503 W. Green Street Efficiency $400, 1 Bedroom $550heat included Doyle Properties 398-DOYL

Old Town Champaign

510 S. Elm Available Fall 2006. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, furnished, W/D, central air/heat, off street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. $595/mo.

841-1996.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

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J u n e 1 4 , 2 oo 6

APARTMENTS

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807-809 W. ILLINOIS, U Aug 2006. 1 Bdrms corner of Lincoln & Illinois. Window A/C, Laundry, Ethernet avail. Rent $550/mo. Parking $45/mo. Shown 7 days/wk.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Deluxe 2 BR Townhouses 206 E. Green, C. 1 Free Parking Space New Energy Efficient A/C and Heat Ethernet Access $380/mo/person Call 621-3430 2 BR at Castle on Locust. Available Fall 2006. Cathedral ceiling, W/D, free cable, call 217-202-6730. cu-apartments.com

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ABOVE JIMMY JOHN’S ON LINCOLN 805 S. Lincoln, U Aug 2006. Ceiling fans, ethernet avail, window A/C. Efficiencies from $500/mo, 1 bedrooms from $545/mo. 7 days a week showing.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

JOHN RANDOLPH ATRIUM UTILITIES INCLUDED Avail. January & August 2006. Close to Campus. 4 bedroom apts. with Disposal, Dishwashers, Washer/Dryers in each unit, Ethernet access, Central A/C. Handicap accessible.

Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

APARTMENTS

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Unfurnished

205 E. HEALEY, C Aug 2006. Huge 1 bdrm apts. Window A/C, Ethernet available. Parking $40/mo. Rents starts at $435/mo.

Shown 7 days/wk.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com 511 W. Washington, C 2.5 Bedroom avail August 1. All appliances plus washer and dryer. Offstreet parking. No pets. 217-7788894.

722 S. BROADWAY, U. Aug 2006. 1 bdrm apts close to Campus. Window A/C. Rents $430/mo. Shown 7 days/wk.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

SUBLETS

440

Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550/mo. 367-6626.

Other Rentals 500 HOUSES HOUSES

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HOUSES

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1, 2, 3 bedroom houses, condos, and duplexes for rent. Great Champaign Location. Many amenities W/D, A/C, etc. 637-0806.

2 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2006. 367-6626.

NOW LEASING FOR FALL, 2006 JTS Properties - 328-4284

5 bdrm, 3 bath on bus line, C/A, Dishwasher, garage. $1500/mo.

(217)398-3142

905 W. Main, U. 2 bedroom, 1 bath, w/d, pets welcome, & off-street parking. $750/mo

809 W. Charles August ‘06. Delightful, furnished 3 bedroom 1 bath home. Parking, laundry included. $1000/mo. Ted 766-5108

105 N. Coler, U. 4+ bedroom, 2 bath, hardwood floors, w/d, CA, off-street parking w/garage. $1500/mo

Eight to Nine Bedroom, $2700 2 Bedroom, $695-$725 367-6626

502 S. Broadway, U. 5 bedroom, 2 bath w/enclosed front porch, fenced in yar, w/d & pets w/deposit, garage, $1300/mo 29 E. John, C. 5 bedroom, 2 bath, hardwood floors, w/d, off-street parking, $2000/mo

Two- two bedroom houses for rent on bus routes in urbana. $600 and $700/mo. 367-0316

ROOMS

530

1 BR in 4 BR apartment. $350/mo.

367-6626.

Room in Urbana house walking distance from quad. $250/mo. Call 6491767.

505 E. Elm, U. 4 bedroom, 2 bath, w/d, pets w/deposit, off-street parking, $1000/mo

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INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

IN

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15

the stinger kim rice & kate ruin DOIN’ IT WELL

jonesin CROSSWORD PUZZLE

never meet.

Across 1 Tool in the OR 6 Stats on some airport display boards 10 Turn into a parking lot 14 ___ Lama 15 He won’t shut up 17 “Dilbert” drawer Adams 18 Font contents 19 Your average stay-athome mom 21 ___-Locka, Fla. 22 Suffix for sex or absurd 23 Your average anonymous courtroom figure

29 Computer debut of 1998 33 Muckraker Tarbell 34 Harder to find 35 Weird Al Yankovic’s “___ Paradise” 36 Play sexy 38 Pol. party founded in Bloemfontein 39 Hairdresser’s monthly payment, maybe 40 Colorful sports artist Neiman 41 Word often seen around desist or exist 43 Bathtime tester 44 Greek god of lust 45 Your average adult male 47 ___ de parfum 49 “Norma ___”

ROOMMATE WANTED 550

ROOMMATE WANTED 550

1 bedroom, near campus $345/mo.

367-6626

Off-campus, University Fields apartment. $515/mo. all inclusive. Share 4 bedroom, 4 bath with three males.

Call Angela, (847)414-0264, aturk@uiuc.edu

1 female roommate wanted in a new house. Available August 1. 1.4 miles away from VetMed. $450/mo including utilities (free water, electricity, heat, CA, washer/dryer, balcony/ patio, wireless internet). Louise, 217369-5847 or llee2@uiuc.edu Available now and for Fall. Shared deluxe furnished 4 br., 2 bath apartment at 3rd & Clark. $225/mo. + utilities. Ted 7665108.

Graduate Students. House Downtown Champaign, W/D, wireless, $350 per month. 217-369-2406.

Near Campus, $350/ mo. 3676626.

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Announcements800 LOST & FOUND

810

Found at Custom Cuts, green sweatshirt has University of Illinois keys in it as well as VW car remote.

read buzz.com

-everyday people you’ll

every thursday

“Named, Yet Unnamed”-

4 Balls you can put in your mouth 5 Words of fake sympathy 6 Gymnasium sound 7 Shoe brand ___ McAn 8 Chip’s pal 9 Get in the way of 10 When business is busiest 11 Commedia dell’___ 12 Go off course 13 Slip up 16 First word of a Santa Claus story 20 ___-kiri 23 Winchester product 24 Do-nothing 25 Boutros Boutros-Ghali’s birthplace 26 Harry Potter nemesis Malfoy 27 She played Bridget in two movies 28 Aquatic killers 30 Mazda sports car 31 Part of AAA 32 One of four on the human body 35 Movie where Angelina Jolie played Colin Farrell’s mother 37 Flowery vitamin C sources 42 Regal title 50 Your average below-aver45 Groups that overthrow age singer 46 Illinois home to Caterpil57 Medium-sized squiggly lar, Inc. noodles 48 Uptight 58 Stallone judge who 50 Movie with a 3-D sequel slurred “I am the law!”

51 It may linger 60 Like many video games 52 Ma in music 61 Vowel-laden refrain 53 Pitcher Hershiser 62 Regions on 1980s 54 Caligula was his uncle maps: abbr.

55 Concert souvenirs 63 Without help 56 Change your story?

64 Reggae Sunsplash 57 Some turns: abbr. attendee, maybe 59 Meg Ryan remake of 1988 Down 1 Rack contents Answers pg. 9 2 Bodies of water, to Bizet 3 Multigenerational baseball surname

Hooking Up 21st Century Style Online Dating

M

ore people are going online to find sex and/or romance than ever before.

There are plent y of advantages to online dating. It can be a fun way to meet people you might otherwise never come across without having to leave the comfort of your own home. You can screen a large number of ads/descriptions before making your pick, and you can chat through the Internet before meeting up in person.

It’s good to figure out what you’d like from your online escapades. Are you looking for a romantic partner you can eventually meet with in person, or an “online only” buddy to chat about fantasies or role-play with? Are you looking simply for sex, someone with common interests or to meet as many people as possible? Knowing what you want will help you figure out where online to go to get that experience.

Some use the Internet as a means to play with new ways of presenting themselves or to become a fantasy version of who they are. Online, you are free to take on any persona, physique, career or lifestyle you want.

Because a lot of folks use the Internet as a form of self-exploration, don’t assume that the hottie you meet online is going to look the same, be the same age or even act the same in person as they do in cyber space. Keep in mind that getting to know someone in person may be a totally different experience than getting to know them online.

If your goal is to meet someone in real life, then it’s best to be truthful about who you are and your intentions. Spend some time thinking about what qualities you have to offer and what you are looking for in a partner. Get specific and get creative! Consider having friends read over your ad to give you feedback on how to highlight your true assets.

Once you’ve developed a stellar ad, post it in places that will optimize your chances of finding the person you want. Are you more likely to find your dream date by posting on match.com, eharmony or a membership-only elite dating service?

Do what feels comfortable. For some, that may mean sticking with print places like The NewsGazette or The Onion.

One of the main drawbacks to meeting people online versus through people you know is that you may not be able to get the same kind of background info on them.

If you meet someone through a mut u a l f r iend , you ca n a sk you r f r iend t o g le a n i m p o r t a nt i n fo r m a t ion a b out

them. Is he or she respectful? Personable?

A good listener? Meeting a date through friends means you have information from an outside source–there’s someone to vouch that your new date is not socially awkward or prone to stalking people.

HOPE FOR THE BEST, PREPARE FOR THE WORST That brings us to another topic not to be overlooked with online dating–safety. We know lots of people who have been very happy with how online sites have helped them find hot sex or a partner they ended up starting a family with.

We also know folks who have sworn off online dating because of bad experiences.

It’s usually a good idea to trust your gut instinct about people. If for any reason you get a “bad vibe” off someone, don’t ignore that feeling– it may be best to discontinue the connection and keep on looking. Decide how much personal information you want to give online and be careful not to give away key info too soon like where you work, the neighborhood you live in or your phone number.

Everyone’s heard about how it’s a good idea to meet in a public spot, bring a cell phone, let others know where you’re going and have your own transportation home. But what do you do from there? Ask questions! Lots of questions.

This is your opportunity to get to know more about them. If anything seems “off ” or unclear ask more about it–or end the date.

Online dating is a growing cultural phenomenon and can be quite an adventure! As with any adventure you go on, it’s good to think ahead and plan for your safety.

SEX 411 •

• •

Match.com & eharmony.com are marketed to those looking for more longterm relationships, but some people may only be looking to have sex.

Gay.com is a great starting place for LGBTQ folks.

With any dating service, be clear about what experience you are looking for.

Kim Rice and Kate Ruin are professional sex educators. Send your sex questions to riceandruin@yahoo.com

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OH BOY! SLEEP! THAT’S WHEN I’M A VIKING!

Ju n e 8

•

J u n e 1 4 , 2 oo 6

free will astrology JUN. 08 — JUN. 14 ARIES

March 21 – April 19

Is the planet running out of oil? Some experts say yes, others say no. Secretly, part of me hopes we are. If forced to use less of the tragically magic fuel, we’d get at least some relief from the ongoing catastrophe of global warming. But the whole discussion may become irrelevant in light of the existence of oil shale. It’s a rock that when heated releases the abundant oil hidden within it. Though expensive to access, two trillion barrels of the stuff lie untapped beneath the surface of America’s Rocky Mountains.

“That’s more than all the proven oil reserves of crude oil in the world,” reports The Denver Post. This is an apt metaphor for your life, Aries. You may seem to be running out of a resource that has energized you for a long time. The truth is, there’s more to be had, but you’ll have to work harder to get it.

T A U RU S

April 20 – May 20

GEMINI

May 21 – June 20

A few people look at the world through rose-colored glasses. Many, on the other hand, peer out through crap-colored glasses. Both are unable to see the world as it really is, but instead allow their perceptions to be filtered through a distorted lens. Your assignment, Taurus, is to take off the colored glasses--whatever hue they may be--so that you can gaze at your surroundings with fresh, lucid, fixation-free eyes.

It’s Makeover Season, Gemini. This would be a perfect astrological moment to get your whole body tattooed, start wearing wigs of varying color and length, and have a cosmetic surgeon reshape your face to resemble that of your favorite celebrity.

JUST KIDDING! I was exaggerating. The omens do suggest it’s a good time to experiment with your physical appearance and make adjustments in your persona, but not as drastically as I first suggested.

CANCER

June 21 – July 22

Listen to poet Robert Bly’s description of you: You came into this world as a radiant package of cosmic wonders, as an unspeakably sublime bolt of primordial resonance, as a barely coalesced jumble of blinding beauty--and yet all your parents wanted was a good little girl or a good little boy. You should mourn for that discrepancy, advises Bly. He encourages you also to mourn for the fact that you then constructed a false personality in order to please your parents and thus be able to survive emotionally. Now here’s what I have to say about all that: It’s a perfect astrological time to express your grief for these calamities, then heal yourself from their damage and start becoming the marvel you were born to be.

LEO

July 23 – Aug. 22

Some psychologists believe it’s pretty easy to get people to think they remember specific events that didn’t actually occur. I don’t have the expertise to determine whether or not that’s true. But just in case it is, let’s see if we can take advantage of it. The astrological omens are in our favor: They suggest that your memories are especially malleable right now, and that your imagination is so robust that it could overwhelm so-called objective reality with its inventions. Here’s what I propose: Visualize in detail, complete with a sensation of effusive emotions, the fabricated memory of some unbelievably happy experience that happened to you when you were four years old.

VIRGO

IN

B ETWEEN | CLASSIFIEDS | THE STINGER

Sept. 23 – Oct.22

SCORPIO

Oct. 23 – Nov. 21

S AG I T TA R I U S

Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

AQUA R I U S

Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

Thinking outside of the box to find creative solutions to obstinate problems sometimes leads to brilliant breakthroughs. Other times it results in laughable breakdowns. And in some cases, it generates changes that are a blend of brilliant breakthrough and laughable breakdown. You’re now flirting with this third variety.

So is there anything you can do to nudge your innovations more in the direction of breakthrough and away from breakdown? Yes. First, make sure your experimental urges are driven by expansiveness and generosity, not revenge, envy, or fear. Second, trust the feelings in your body to give you important clues. Third, get your ego out of the way as much as is humanly possible.

After playing in bands for years, I ripened into a half-decent songwriter and singer. My last project World Entertainment War was signed to a contract with MCA Records and released a CD, but meager sales precipitated my exit from the music business in 1995. Fast forward to this week. While scavenging around the Web via Google, I made an unexpected discovery: On many music lyric sites, one of the songs I wrote, “Marlboro Man Jr.,” has for years been mistakenly credited to Blink-182, a band that has sold over 10 million records. I was shocked. How could it have taken me so long to find out? This incident should serve as a metaphor for you, Scorpio. Find out whether your work, ideas, or energy have been used by or attributed to other people without your knowledge.

To boost to your romantic fortunes, it’s sometimes helpful to take an inventory of what has worked and not worked for you in the past. Now is a good time to do that. I suggest you survey memories of your old successes and failures, and extract some fresh insights that you can apply to the conundrums that love is currently asking you to solve. Another strategy you might try is to take yourself about ten times less seriously.

Even intimacy’s most demanding tests will be far easier if you can laugh about them. To aid in this quest, try the Dead Celebrity Soulmate Search at http://snipurl.com/nghr. (It told me my best romantic matches would have been Lucrezia Borgia, Mata Hari, and Agatha Christie.)

This would not be a good week to cast a curse on God in revenge for what you think are his mistakes. Nor would it be a favorable time to draw blasphemous cartoons of saints, or pretend that atheism is any less of a faith-based belief system than religion. In fact, if I were you, Capricorn, I would utter a few prayers, purify your motives, and do some really good deeds-just in case there’s even a slim possibility that divine help is abundantly available to you right now. (P.S. From what I can tell, there’s more than a slim possibility.)

As far as the astrological powers-that-be are concerned, you have permission to play hooky. Whether their authorization will carry any weight with your boss and the people who depend on you, I can’t say. But the pure cosmic fact of the matter is that you should devote as much time as possible in the coming days to avoiding responsibility, following your whims, and indulging in sweet pleasures that in no way serve the values of the cold, cruel workaday world. It’s time to wander out into a field of wildflowers and chase butterflies. Or something similar.

PISCES Aug. 23 – Sept. 22

New Scientist magazine reports that athletes who suit up in red uniforms seem to be more successful than those who don’t.

In the 2004 European soccer tournament, for instance, redgarbed teams scored an average of one more goal per game than the others. Since you’re now in a phase when winning is even more important than usual, why not try every little thing that might give you an edge, including the wearing of red clothes or accessories? As long as your motives are benevolent and your compassion is as strong as your will to power, I have no problem encouraging you to lust for victory. What else might get your competitive juices flowing and evoke passivity in your opponents?

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LIBRA

Feb. 19 – March 20

I dare you to call everyone “mom” or “mommy” this week. I’m serious. Pretend as if every single person you meet has the potential to give you some mothering. Expect the entire universe and everything in it to treat you with nurturing attention and thoughtful care. You may experience some disappointments along the way, of course. There’ll be some people who don’t quite understand the game or want to play it. But I bet you’ll be surprised by how many lively folks do respond to your invitation to treat you as their lovable child, their winsome little babycakes.

Homework: Tell a story about the time Spirit reached down and altered your course in one tricky swoop. Write: www. freewillastrology.com.

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