Buzz Magazine: June 15, 2006

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ONE STORMY NIGHT

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BONNAROO BONANZA

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buzz weekly

J u n e 15

WHEN YOU LOOK ANNOYED ALL THE TIME, PEOPLE THINK THAT YOU’RE BUSY.

BUZZ STAFF volume

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no.23

Cover Design • Nikita Sorokin Editor in chief • Todd Swiss Art Director • Brittany Bindrim Copy Chief • Alexis Terrell Listen, Hear • Leah D. Nelson Stage, Screen & in Between • Elyse Russo Around Town • Tatyana Safronova CU Calendar • Todd Swiss Photography Editor • Christina Leung Designers • Nikita Sorokin, Hank Patton Calendar Coordinator • Brian McGovern Photography • Christina Leung Copy Editors • Sarah Goebel Staff Writers • Paul Prikazsky, Syd Slobodnik, Todd J. Hunter Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein Sales Manager • Mark Nattier Production Manager • Rick Wiltfong Marketing/Distribution • Brandi Wills Publisher • Mary Cory

TALK TO BUZZ e-mail: buzz@readbuzz.com write: 57 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820 call: 217.337.3801 We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date.

Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

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UNDER THE COVER |1-3| 3 3 3 |4-5| 4 5 |6-8| 6 7 7 8 | 9 - 11 | | 12 - 13 | 12 13 13 13

INTRO This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening First Things First • Michael Coulter

AROUND TOWN After the storm • S. Colby Smith The Local Sniff • Seth Fein

LISTEN, HEAR Bonnaroo: musical juggernaut • Imran Siddiquee Soundground #130 • Todd J. Hunter Album reviews Intonation preview • Jason Birkan

CU CALENDAR STAGE, SCREEN & IN BETWEEN Unknown underwire and elbow angels • Jacquelin Hedeman Movie reviews Page Rage • Bret Simerson Artist’s Corner with Robin Peters

| 14 - 17 |

CLASSIFIEDS

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THE STINGER

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Doin it Well • Kim Rice & Kate Ruin Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney Free will astrology

First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50 © Illini Media Company 2005

WORLD CUP! Coming June 9th BASEBALL! Cubs, Sox, Cards & More!

16 Huge TVs Watch the action on our Flat Panel TVs

todd swiss EDITOR’S NOTE

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Summer Breeze Feel it in on our patio!

Daily Food & Drink Specials 2-Level Beer Garden Over 30 Beers 12 Draft Beers FULL Menu Open 11am 7days/week

www.firehausbar.com 708 S. Sixth Street Champaign 217.344.4171 INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

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t does not seem like there is much going on in CU these days. Sure, a bunch of students just came back for Summer Session II courses, but campus still seems dead. However, while walking through the Illini Union a couple of days back, it became clear to me that you just have to look in the right places for the rowdy crowds.

Excitement in town is cur rently ver y concentrated on the World Cup. The Courtyard, along with CRCE and many bars around town, are showing all of the games on their respective televisions.

The last thing anyone needs explained is the fact that the World Cup is the most popular sporting event in the world. Sure, most of Europe basically shuts down every four years in the summer, and hundreds of millions of people gather in pubs, around the family television or in town squares to watch their country compete, but here in the United States, most of the games are not even broadcast on network television.

People from other countries in the United States as well as most domestic sports broadcasters constantly remark about how Americans just do not watch or care about the World Cup. However, World Cup fever is alive and well in CU. Walking past the Courtyard just a couple of days ago gave me hope for soccer’s future in the

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USA and for truly exhilarating times in CU during the lazy, semi-dead days of summer.

While the US team did get put in their place against the Czech Republic in their opener, soccer fans are not going anywhere. With the growing number of MLS and even English Premier League games on basic cable networks like ESPN and Fox Sports, as well as a recently launched Fox network solely devoted to soccer, the world’s favorite sport fi nally has a chance to catch on in our country.

In the past, other sports have dominated the airwaves. Sports like American football, baseball and basketball were invented here and have almost always been intensely popular. With limited television stations, these sports won priority over soccer and other sports that are more popular overseas. But soccer has a chance now. Along with the larger variety of soccer viewing options, the United States finally has a respectable national team. We fi nally have something to be excited about. The sky is the limit and excitement levels are high, even in smaller areas like here in CU. I just hope that such excitement does not fade once the World Cup is over.

On a completely different note, buzz is desperately looking for a copy editor with experience in AP style. Please e-mail me at tswiss@uiuc.edu if you fit the bill and are free to work Tuesday and Wednesday evenings. sounds from the scene

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I DO NOT CHUCK, NEVER CHUCKED, NEVER HAVE CHUCKED, NEVER WILL CHUCK, NO CHUCK!

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michael coulter FIRST THINGS FIRST

Refrigerator Raider What I did on Sunday afternoon

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undays are sor t of lazy during a Midwest su m mer. It’s quiet, so it’s a nice time to do something simply for yourself. You could take a Sunday drive. Granted, th is w i l l cost you about $30, but you can still do it. You could go to one of our many parks and enjoy the outdoors.

Granted, it was prett y cold and rainy this past weekend, but you could still do it. You could drink all afternoon. Granted, you’ll feel like crap when you get to work on Monday morning, but you could still do it. I decided to take in a baseball game this past Sunday.

Granted, it was on TV in my kitchen while I cleaned out the refrigerator, but somewhere in all the unpleasantness, I still got to see part of a ballgame.

I often find it easier to combine two things in order to get something done. Talking to a long-winded friend in California eventually sort of sucks, but if you play Xbox during the conversation and don’t really pay attention to him, it becomes sort of tolerable. Trying on clothes at a department store can really try your patience, but if you get drunk beforehand, it’s not so bad. Cleaning out the refrigerator is a royal pain in the ass, but if you watch a ballgame during it ... well, it’s still a royal pain in the ass.

I’m always sort of confused when it comes to my refrigerator. The process of keeping foods cold is going along swimmingly, and then all of a sudden it appears as if the condiments are multiplying and there is no longer room for actual food. Something must be done immediately.

I then usually put it off for another two weeks and finally succumb to a good cleaning.

It’s not easy. First of all, I need the television so I can avert my attention if a refrigerator item becomes too unbearable to look at. Next, I need a large glass of soda pop in case I require liquid to help me swallow after I open the lid on an unknown item. Lastly, I need a few cigarettes to mask the smell of the whole damned thing. After these three things, I need only initiative. At least I have the first three things.

I begin slowly and pull out the items that I know are still good. The half-gone gallon of milk is fine, as is the pitcher of lemonade behind it. The opened bottle of V-8 juice behind that,

however, is far from fine. It appears to have some sort of green fuzzy growth around the lid, an extra additive that the company didn’t intend.

I decide I should now call it V-9 juice. I force out an embarrassed smile and throw it away.

Also on the bottom shelf, I find an opened box of baking soda. That poor bastard never stood a chance. I give it a quick salute and send it to the trash. I find a pound of bacon. I immediately toy with the idea of cooking it, but instead go back to the task at hand. It’s almost comforting to already be on the middle shelf.

I pull out a jar of blueberry jelly. Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I used jelly, at least not this kind of jelly. I open it up, and it still seems OK, even though I question the wisdom of ingesting something that apparently has the same shelf life as plutonium. I consider any possible future jelly use and send it to the garbage. Also being sent on their way is a jar of olives I believe I purchased in college, an empty bottle of A-1 sauce and something I believe was once some sort of cheese.

I now pull open the single serving drawer, a sort of weigh station for tiny unused condiments. Little packets of mustard hang out with soy sauce, hot sauce, barbeque sauce, Arby-que sauce and even tartar sauce. Now I have never used tartar sauce in my life. I find the smell sort of offensive, and if it touches my tongue I start to gag. Nevertheless, somewhere along the line I decided it might be a fine idea to have seven or eight extra packets laying around in case I suddenly get a hankering for it.

I now move the often-used items on the top shelf, three cans of PBR, a half eaten slab of L’il Porgys and a gallon of orange juice. The items that lay behind these aren’t really considered food, so much as artifacts. There is a container labeled sour cream. While there is no doubt in my mind this cream is soured, I almost wonder whether it was ever really cream to begin with.

I open the lid to find a culture Louis Pasteur would be proud of. I quickly turn away, and then turn quickly back, the food equivalent of a car accident. I am now bored beyond belief, so the garbage can comes to the edge of the refrigerator and with one swift motion of my arm, the rest of the contents are pulled into the trash. If I have simply done this to everything two hours ago, I probably could have told you the score of the ballgame by now.

OOPS! WE MADE A MISTAKE • Although buzz strives for accuracy, we sometimes make mistakes. If you catch something we didn’t,

please let use know at buzz@readbuzz.com. When a correction is needed, it will be listed here.

sounds from the scene

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around town

from their hangars and bouncing off the concrete pad, windows on the enclosed porch crackling at first then blowing-out entirely.

Then, unbelievably, a case’s worth of 10-penny framing nails, reluctant to let go, groaned as the entire garage pried loose from the south end of their home, leaving the entire side of their house exposed to the rain that was forecasted for the next day.

AFTER THE STORM

COURTESY CROOK FAMILY • PHOTO

S. COLBY SMITH • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

On April 2, a tornado took the Crook’s garage off the foundation and dropped it in a corn field yards away.

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n the evening of April 2, 2006, a line of storms stretching from Springfield to Memphis blew through East Central Illinois. In all, the National Weather Service verified 25 touchdowns in Central Illinois alone, but the 25 tornadoes are only those attributable to emergency services personnel verification.

Marla and Thomas Crook know quite well that there was at least one more that evening.

In St. Joseph, when the storm front had finally blown into Vermillion County, and the rain had surrendered, Thomas Crook peered out of a basketball-size hole in his basement wall through what had been his two-car garage.

“Well, your car is still in the driveway,” Thomas said to his mother, thinking maybe it hadn’t been so bad after all.

“Honey, if you can see your mother’s car,” Marla said to her husband, placing her hand on his shoulder, “it means the garage is gone.”

Though there is no official record of a tornado in St. Joseph, Ill., the National Weather Service freely admits that it is impossible to record all instances of tornadoes. Some drop from the sky, kick up a bit of dirt and dried corncobs, then vanish before anyone ever sees them. Some brilliantly siphon water off remote quarters of the ocean, creating chaotic displays of the beauty in nature’s sheer power. Some tornadoes paradoxically “touch down” without having developed a visible funnel cloud, the only physical evidence of their existence being the massive demolition left in their haphazard path.

“I don’t think you can go through an experience like this and not be changed in some way,” Marla was to reflect two months after the storm. Several windows in their home are still boarded up, and vinyl siding sits in boxes on the floor of the new garage.

“But everything happens for a reason, and if this has changed me in any way, it is to make me realize how blessed we are for all the love and help we have received from the start.”

Throughout the afternoon of April 2 and into the evening, the swath of violent storms had been taking down power service sporadically, first around metropolitan St. Louis then east through Springfield and Champaign, rapidly approaching the rural farming community of unincorporated St. Joseph. Around 6 p.m. the storm was continuing to gain momentum so Thomas headed for their attached garage to do battle with the decadesold generator. If they were all to seek shelter in the basement, at INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

least they would have power. They’d waited out plenty of storms before. This is the prairie. This is just a fact of life.

Marla and her mother-in-law, Nora Crook, who had driven out from Champaign for her weekly Sunday afternoon visit, peered out on the skies from the westerly window of the living room. Nora muttered something about not liking the looks of a yellow-black cloud she saw stirring in the southwest.

“At that point, I knew we had to get everyone into the basement,” Marla said. They were listening to a battery-operated radio, but they couldn’t be certain about the accuracy of the reports for places so far out of town — the forecasts and alerts focused on Champaign-Urbana. If you’re in the country, you can consider yourself on your own, Marla said. There are no warning sirens audible from their home. Besides, they were watching the funnel cloud amass right before their eyes; there wouldn’t be reports of that particular tornado yet.

They already had young Quentin, their 10-year-old son, tucked away downstairs with a few of his favorite toys. Grandma Crook headed for the basement to wait with her grandson, and Marla ran for the garage to call in Thomas. The pressure difference was so great between the house and the garage that she had difficulty pulling the door open. She forced it open only to see Thomas heaving from the outside, struggling desperately to make his own way back into the house. It had taken the two of them together to get the door open.

Thomas had not noticed the cloud that worried his mother.

What convinced him to make haste for the basement was the rumbling he was sensing in the garage.

“It was cold, very cold, and I could feel (the garage) shaking,” he said. “I could hear the (cinder) blocks getting ready to come loose from the foundation right in front of me.”

Marla pulled her husband into the house, the two hesitating for only a moment when the door slammed shut behind Thomas.

“We were standing right here when it started to happen,” Marla recalled, pointing to a spot on the kitchen floor just 10 feet from the door into the garage. The four of them waited in the basement – Thomas, Marla, Quentin and Grandma Crook were still a whole family – for nearly an hour before venturing out to check on their home and Marla’s elderly parents, who live just a few hundred yards up the road in the next house to the east.

There was a great tearing sound, 2-inch by 10-inch ceiling stringers snapping in half like kindling, hardened steel tools falling IN

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SURVEYING THE DAMAGE Naturally, their first move was to see about Marla’s folks. They were fine, and there was no noticeable damage to their farmhouse. They had taken cover in the basement long before things got ugly, just to be on the safe side. They, too, had lived on the prairie all their lives and knew what even a small, unregistered tornado could do to a house. Neither home had telephone service, but Marla’s cell phone still had a signal. She called the fire department. Meanwhile, the extent of the damage began to reveal itself.

Amid the unrecognizable debris, they found the stubborn, old generator still running the next morning, tossed nearly 50 yards from where Thomas had left it to join his son in the basement.

Cinder blocks had been pried from the foundation and flung hundreds of yards into still-unplanted fields. Tops were snapped off the row of pine trees that had formed a windbreak between the old farmhouse and the cornfield to the north. Partial lengths of 2-by-4 wall studs turned up with pushpins forced half-way through, plastic end first, the machined-steel tips, serving as pointed reminders of the menacing power of the weather’s most powerful singular phenomenon. Marla and Thomas kept that particular piece of wood as a souvenir.

Marla and Thomas took the next three days off work to catch their breath and begin the lengthy process of prioritizing their rebuilding effort.

The insurance adjusters came to the Crooks’ home and surveyed the damage. Based on the relatively close proximity of the major pieces of debris that had come to rest 150 yards away and the parallel scars in the grass that led away from the corners of the garage foundation, the insurance agent concluded that the tornado had lifted the garage over the car that was now sitting on the naked concrete pad, dragged it along an easterly path for about 20 yards before hefting the entire structure high into the sky and smashing it in the north field as the storm fizzled out a couple of minutes later.

The National Weather Service attributed 26 fatalities to the line of storms that brought the first series of tornadoes to the 2006 season. But no one in the Crook family was seriously hurt by this particular tornado, something Marla and Thomas thank God for every day. Even their two dogs, two cats and pet fish made it through.

PICKING UP THE PIECES What happened in the early morning fog of April 3, less than 12 hours after the family ventured out of their basement, happened between Marla Crook and her creator. Dazed by the wreckage, uncertain about how much money they would receive from their insurance provider, ambivalent about weather forecasts for another day of heavy rains, Marla strolled behind the hewn-off pine trees and prayed. Hard.

She prayed for strength. She prayed for guidance. She prayed thanks that her family was alive and well. She never considered questioning her God. The unreliable light of early daybreak, the disorienting aura of a swirling fog, the fatigue of a sleepless night and the shock of stepping out of the house into a personal disaster area can coalesce to play tricks on the mind, but Marla believes she was sent a vision from God. What else could explain her next move?

At 5:10 a.m., she called Eric Hill, an acquaintance from high school, a man she hadn’t seen in years, to help her close-up the sounds from the scene

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IF A COW HAD THE CHANCE HE WOULD KILL YOU AND EVERYONE YOU LOVE.

Volunteers from the predominantly Black Chr istian frater nit y, Meg iste A rete, came out one Saturday morning and helped assemble and raise the walls for a new garage. Rob Deck, the manager of a local building supply chain Kirchner Building Center in Ogden, extended, on credit, thousands of dollars in lumber and materials to the Crooks, against the usual company policy. Deck was particularly sympathetic to Marla and Thomas’s troubles after the heartache he’d seen in the town of Oakwood.

Donald Johnston, a Danville-based minister who also happens to run a roofing business on the side, donated free labor and a professional roofing job, complete with new flashing between the garage and the existing house.

“It’s better now than it was,” Marla said.

A benefactor wrote Marla a check and said not to worry about paying it back.

“All I can tell you is that this man was not a close friend or a member of our family,” Marla said. The only stipulation of the donation was that the Marla “pay it forward.” That’s all he said to her when he gave her the check.

“That’s the country way,” Marla said. “Everyone helps out when people get into trouble.

People give what they can, and it’s something different for everyone.”

Not all the work is done yet. Some of the windows are still boarded up. The garage still has no siding on it. The front porch is still twisted away from the entry, its supports snapped off below ground. But Thomas, Marla and Quentin have settled back in, and each weekend things get closer to normal.

Maybe Marla is right. Maybe things do happen for a reason. Marla and Thomas certainly have discovered friends they didn’t know they had.

Looking over her shoulder at all the progress made in such a short time Marla said, “With all the love that has gone into (rebuilding) that house, I believe it’ll be the last thing standing in Champaign County.” buzz

COURTESY CROOK FAMILY • PHOTO

exposed side of her house before the rain came.

It turns out that Hill has had to rebuild his own home in Oakwood twice after the town had been severely damaged by two different tornadoes.

Hill took the day off work, and he and his father helped Marla and Thomas seal the gaping hole in the side of their house. Hill refused to accept any compensation for the time off work or the time he spent helping put up the plywood siding.

The insurance money never came through, and rather than wage a lengthy court battle they didn’t have the resources to fight and weren’t sure they could win, the Crooks put their home back together the country way, through community and brotherly love.

Hill’s assistance and goodwill was the first in a string of selfless acts that helped Marla, Thomas and Quentin move back into their home six weeks later.

“It was a long six weeks,” Marla said, “but we were able to move in as quickly as we did thanks to all the wonderful help and support we received from friends and family.”

Marla works at the University of Illinois Library, and Thomas works at Parkland College. Several students and fellow employees volunteered to help in any way they could. More than 20 friends and friends of friends turned out on the following Saturday morning with stocking caps and gloves to help the Crooks pick up their property and haul off the debris. Marla did what she knew how to do best: provide everyone with a hot country-style meal of bean soup and meatballs, corn bread, salad, fruit, coffee and tea.

She offered more than even a horde of hungry college students could possibly eat.

Apprentices from the Champaign Local 8 masons’ union came to St. Joseph one weekend and had a new foundation laid and leveled in a few hours.

The only cost to Thomas and Marla was the price of the cinder blocks and the bit of mortar it took to build up a proper base for the garage walls. The apprentices declined to take anything for their time, even the free meal Marla vehemently offered.

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seth fein THE LOCAL SNIFF

The Sniffer Turns His Back On Sniffing Vows to return with better content, more laxatives, higher pay for minorities...

FIRST SNIFF Yeah, that’s r ight. No more pot shots on the local businesses and local organizations and local people, pol iticians, pund its or propaganda. No more simply bash ing on loca l anything just to turn heads.

This came to me over the course of the past two nights. I am supposed to be doing anything but thinking about work on vacation. I wrote all three of my columns in advance of my departure in order to get some R + R. Silly me. I have had anything but.

Perhaps it’s just the fact that, while here in the Bahamas, I have come to appreciate all the things that I love about Champaign-Urbana as opposed to all the things I hate. Maybe it’s because I received enough mail about hating Champaign-Urbana that I came to realize that I actually don’t hate all of these things. I actually love how it makes the community diverse.

Sure, there are things that I think are wrong with this area, politically, culturally and the like. But not enough to devote three columns to simply because I didn’t want to do work from the road.

It’s a cop out and for that, I apologize.

A CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR Now don’t get to thinking that I am never going to call out anyone for making mistakes. Just look at the topic below. Here is something that has really gotten my goat since its inception a few years back. And it’s the perfect example of how I plan to continue writing this column. It’s simply ridiculous. And so, therefore, I feel it necessary to call it out and then perhaps, do something to make a change.

HOW MUCH WILL THIS COST? It’s OK to ban something provided that you have a reasonable solution to help defray the effects. The Flyer Ban? Nothing. Not a kiosk in sight. Is it too much for the city of Champaign to provide the creative folks in Champaign a place to advertise their art for free? Do we HAVE to rely on over-priced advertising in the press and on the radio? Advertising that doesn’t really work on indie kids? We shouldn’t have to. That’s just straight bush-league.

Go on down to Athens, Ga., or Asheville, N.C., and you’ll find that the same faces on city council that decided to enact a flyer ban also decided to erect plenty of kiosks in high-profile locations so that people on the street could find out what is going on that weekend: an art opening? A badass band on tour? Maybe a movie from an unknown filmmaker? Fuck it. A sale at one of the local shops! Anything can be hung and

covered up and replaced again on a kiosk. But the City of Champaign? No sir. Evidently, they are just too short-sighted to recognize the strengths of supporting the artists who aren’t economically strong enough to buy an ad for more than $100 a pop! I don’t know about you – but that’s a lot of money where I come from. And to make matters worse, they are actually fining people for putting up flyers in places that they aren’t supposed to!

I can understand doing something that extreme if there were alternatives to lamp posts and street signs, but there simply are not. Time to do something about it I think.

A kiosk is easy to build, cheap to make, hardly gets in the way and services the whole community. So, why the fuck am I writing about this in my column? Shouldn’t this have been done by now?

I AM A SPOILED-ASS WHITE BOY No doubt about it. Just being in the Bahamas for a week has proven it to me. I have become so comfortable in my skin in the United States that I forgot that even places 60 some-odd miles to the east of us are not living in the same conditions that we are. And if they are, it doesn’t come cheap.

Six dollars for a gallon of milk, $10 for a jug of cranberry juice, $5 for a gallon of gas, $20 for your average dinner. And with food that you and I would consider to be less-than-delicious. I came down here for one of my best buddies’ wedding, and because it’s been such a great time, I would not trade it for the world. But man alive are we spoiled in the States. Spoiled beyond belief. I am looking forward to going to Custard Cup when we get back and paying what will seem like chump change.

GIVE THE SNIFFER A BREAK. FINAL WHIFF FOR A COUPLE WEEKS… I need a week off. Bottom line is that I can no longer just pump these columns out at will like I used to when I first started nor do I want to. Don Gerard e-mailed me this last week to tell me how much he enjoyed reading it. For no particular reason, he said, but that he just did. I started to envy him and his every-other-week column.

What a lucky sonofa…

Sorry for those of you who were wanting to see where I was going with the Columns of Hate.

And sorry to all of you who wrote to me with your fiery words. If you want to read the second installment – please feel free to e-mail me, and I will send it along personally.

Seth Fein is from Urbana. He will return to his column on June 29. He can be reached at sethfein1@gmail.com.

Shortly after the disaster, friends and people from the community came to lend the Crook family a hand to rebuild their garage. sounds from the scene

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L A C I M US BONNAROO: JUG NAUT

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IMRAN SIDDIQUEE • STAFF WRITER

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Les Claybool at Bonnaroo 2002.

Unlike many of the other major music festivals in America (Coachella, Austin City Limits, etc.) Bonnaroo is still a camping event. The majority of the 80,000 attendees sleep and eat on site in the campgrounds surrounding the many entertainment stages and tents. Apart from the adventure of outdoor living, this allows for a social environment that encourages interaction at all times. With the variety of musical acts increasing every year, it is no longer easy to classify your typical Bonnaroo fan.

What began as a jam-band event five years ago has grown into a diversified juggernaut of musical entertainment. This year’s line-up is the most diversified in Bonnaroo’s five-year history. Fans of Bright Eyes and folk artist Devendra Banhart will walk amongst those looking to see hip-hop star Common and up-and-coming rockers My Morning Jacket. Blues Traveler travelers will hang out with “Radioheads,” and Clap Your Hands Say Yeah groupies will be camped next to followers of R & B legends The Neville Brothers. Supporters of British rapper The Streets will brush shoulders with fans of Jewish rapper Matisyahu. Those fans salivating over the legendar y underground heroes Stephen Malkmus and Sonic Youth will stand frozen next to those transfixed by the legendar y jam-band hero, Phil Lesh (of Grateful Dead fame).

There’s something for everyone at this year’s festival. And while the great majority of people are at tend i ng ju st to check out a myriad of their favorite bands, it’s nice to know that included in the hefty price of the admission ticket is the opportunity to experience a co st u me pa r t y l i st en i n g t o techno, trance and hip-hop next to dancing fans of Nickel Creek and Umphrey’s McGee. It gives one a warm, fuzzy feeling inside that can only be described as, Bonnaroo, which literally means, “a really good time.” buzz Bonnaroovians.

Matisyahu at Bonnaroo 2005.

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PHOTOS COURTESY OF WWW.BONNAROO.COM

hree days of outdoor-camping fun on a 700-acre plot in the American heartland surrounded by video arcades, cafes, dance parties, beer, a stateof-the-art cinema, arts and crafts from around the world, exotic foods, a first-class comedy club and an environmental-friendly atmosphere only describes half of the experience 80,000 people will have this weekend in Manchester, Tenn.

The fifth-annual Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival begins today, showcasing dozens of the top acts in music over a three-day weekend every year in June. This year’s lineup ranges from modern legends like Radiohead (named the “world’s greatest live band” by Rolling Stone) and Beck to classic artists like Tom Petty and Elvis Costello. But anyone who has ever been to the uniquely-named festival knows that the experience is about more than just the music.

The variety of entertainment options at Bonnaroo is perhaps its greatest draw. If one isn’t excited by a performance by Death Cab for Cutie or Ben Folds, the festival is also showcasing comedians such as Lewis Black and the Upright Citizens Brigade this year. And if comedy isn’t your thing, and you aren’t jamrockin’ to Damien “Jr. Gong” Marley Saturday afternoon, there is a panel discussion on Global Warming with special guest speakers. Later that night there’s even a Masquerade Ball costume-party to attend, costume required.

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sounds from the scene

buzz weekly •

I CAN’T PLAY GOLF, THINKS THE HORSE.

WHAT THE HELL?!

soundground #130 THIS WEEK IN MUSIC

moment of the week

TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

sounds from the scene

lead singer Dan Wilson helped out on five other tracks as well, including the album’s first single, “Not Ready To Make Nice.�

This song is considered political, stemming from lead singer Natalie Maines’ anti-Bush comments and their subsequent ban from country radio. Ironically, it is the best-selling album in the country as of press time.

It’s hard to believe that that sweet voice can be “mad as hell,� as Maines bellows in the single, but she sings with such conviction that I do believe her.

I was a little scared about their political side, but fortunately, it works. Damn well. And fortunately, the Chicks don’t turn this album into a political cry because “unlikely activist against censorship� is only one of their roles.

The rest of the album deals with life, love and motherhood. “And I never seem to do it like anybody else/ Maybe someday, someday I’m gonna settle down/ But I’ve always found my way somehow/ By takin’ the long way around,� is the chorus of the opening song, “The Long Way Around.� It was my favorite, written as a song for free spirits, a fantastic wind-in-your-hair-driving-along-thecoast song. I loved it.

Su WWW.HEATHERMILLS.ORG

Sa F Th W T

107.1

Although I’m a rocker at heart, there’s something I just fucking love about the Dixie Chicks. (It’s OK, you can laugh.)

I first encountered the trio at a crossroads point in my life, after a break-up. From a hotel room after I left on my boyfriend, I turned on the TV to the video for their cover of “Landslide,� a Stevie Nicks song. “I’ve been afraid of changin’/ cause I built my life around you� are the famous lyrics that spoke to me that day. I bought their 2002 album, Home, shortly thereafter, and I was impressed. I did, however, notice with disappointment that the Chicks didn’t write most of their songs. A band loses their credibility if they can’t write most of their own songs.

Taking The Long Way is different; all 14 songs are co-written by the trio, and the album opens up a new era in the music and the lives of the Dixie Chicks. They are now all songwriters, musicians, mothers and political radicals — badass mamas with a twang in their voices, who play a mean banjo and fiddle and who bleach their hair and wear heels onstage.

They had songwriting help, and “Lullaby,� their customary sweet ballad to their children, swims in the old melodies of Semisonic. Former

Delusion & Dischord Off the Record Radioactivity pm 9 , hosted by Ishibashi 9pm, hosted by 9pm-1am, Travis Wayne Hurt hosted by Shrink Wrap Tony and Jon Inner Limits 9pm, hosted by Dilla 9pm, hosted by Pocket Flashback CafĂŠ & Thematic Element Beats N Rhymes Noon-1pm 9pm, hosted by Ana 10pm, hosted by Agent Mos hosted by Paul Rotter

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BY LEAH D. NELSON

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THE DIXIE CHICKS Taking The Long Way

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Todd J. Hunter hosts WEFT Sessions and Champaign Local 901, two hours of local music every Monday at 10 p.m. on WEFT 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com. Support your scene to preserve your scene.

In a world where Diamond Dave re-envisions the most adept and technical rock songs to make it on ’70s radio as bluegrass on late-night TV, Nelly “I’m Like A Bird�

Furtado is now a “Promiscious Girl,� rappers fight over who gets to be on Oprah, and John “I’ll use my hands� Mayer has a blues fucking trio — it’s nice to see celebs acting, well, in character. Before she was Lady McCartney, soon to be ex-Lady He a t he r Mc C a r t ne y, Heather Mills Heather Mills was just another poor actress and model, and when the money gets low ...

As Heather and Paul gear up for their bizarroworld divorce proceedings (for those out of the loop, the cute, billionaire Beatle forgot to holla “I want pre-nup,� and he’s leaving her because of “media intrusion�), a comment by Heather about her hard times resurfaced. The actress had previously admitted to appearing in a different kind of gig, a German pornography book, Die Freuden der Liebe, and the Sun UK, the one magazine up to such a task, managed to locate the original.

I feel sorry for the guy who had to dig through boxes of ’80s-vintage Berlin-wall-contemporary German porn to find this “treasure.� Unfortunately for Ms. Mills, it’s not exactly vanilla stuff either.

According to the Sun, the modern-day amputee philanthropist is covered in baby oil, lipstick and whipped cream, and I’ll stop there (but know it gets a lot worse).

In other news, Meat Loaf is prepping Bat Out of Hell III: The Monster is Loose, reminding me why I hate fat people and dorks in leather jackets.

The record release for House of Cards by Shipwreck is July 6 at Cowboy Monkey with Starflyer 59, Elanors and Cheyenne. Show time is 10 p.m., and cover is $7. Shipwreck then will tour to 10 Midwestern cities such as Oshkosh, Des Moines and Wichita; another EP will follow in four months. Pre-record release, Shipwreck pays a visit June 26 to Champaign Local 901. June 29 at The Iron Post, co-pilots John Owen and Harman Jordan open for Noah Harris with acoustic versions of Shipwreck songs. Show time is 10 p.m.

Originally on the bill June 4 at Cowboy Monkey with Tummler and Terminus Victor, Centaur has rescheduled for July 3 at Mike ’n’ Molly’s. Now that bassist Derek Niedringhaus is back in CU, Centaur aspires to be more active. In the meantime, frontman Matt Talbott is in the studio recording a six- to eight-song album for Pulsar47.

Tonight at 8 p.m., CU native Patrick Mustain and CU expatriate Gabe Rosen & The Good Enough Band perform acoustic folk at ArĂ´ma, no cover. Also at 8, Saddle Creek Records male rock quartet Ladyfinger appears with locals Johnnyork and Oceans at The Canopy Club. Cover is $5.

hosted by

KYLE B. GORMAN • STAFF WRITER

Theory of Everything is giving away the advance single off its third album L o ve way, d ue l a t e t h i s su m me r. “W h it e Gu y s with Guitars� was finalized June 8 and debuted June 9 on “We’re On ly in It for the Money� w ith host Dave Witzany.

Frontman Dar r in Drda descr ibes it as “an insidiously catchy ‘alternative’ rock anthem about ‘alternative’ rock.� It features vocals by Ryan Groff of elsinore, who provided them again when Theory of Everything opened for elsinore June 10 at Mike ’n’ Molly’s. Theory of Ever y th ing plays Sat urd ay at Cowboy Monkey with JigGsaw and Ezra Furman & The Harpoons. Show time is 10 p.m., and cover is $4.

After three bands bowed out of the show June 10 at the Independent Media Center, Triple Whip filled in with a four-song set thanks in part to Bellcaster for sharing gear. Triple Whip plays a fuller set Monday on WEFT Sessions, no cover.

Triple Whip then returns to the Independent Media Center June 24 with Kayla Brown, G. Lee and three-time Apollo Theater performer Sherrika Ellison for the Women’s Music Series benefit for the Center for Women in Transition.

The pre-show reception with refreshments is at 7 p.m., and cover is $5.

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Taking the Long Way is my favorite driving music this week, an eclectic dance of rock and pop and country with a side of mommies and politics. In their seventh album, the Dixie Chicks have evolved into respected musicians.

A major accomplishment for a group who rose to fame with their white trash domestic anthem, “Goodbye, Earl.�

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Every Day

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MUFFIN, PASS ME THE HEAD.

The Streets, Bloc Party and Ghostface will rock out Union Park June 24-25

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1. DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH S/T Nevertheless, their failure here is still hard to describe, something that might be gauged by their performance, which on the whole can be sub par. For The Streets it is easier to pinpoint. The nom de plume for the white Mike Sk inner, The Streets is definitively English, and he never lets that fact escape his music. He infects his rhymes with a cockney patois and influence decided ly d i fferent f rom a ny hea rd i n Prefuse 73 at Intonation 2005.

American rap.

His first two albums were treatises on life where rap, especially something as fragile as this, in the outskirts of London, masterpieces of has notoriously failed in the past. the UK Garage movement and its Game BoyMost of the other artists fit the indie rock mold st yle beats. His third, T he Hardest Way to of angularity and asymmetrical haircuts. An Make an Easy Living, released earlier this year, exception is the rapper Ghostface (formerly of reverses that trend. Skinner is certainly still the Wu-Tang Clan,) whose album Fishscale was up for lamenting his lot in life, but the locale one of the best of any genre released so far this has shifted from the Council to the Country year. His tales of murderous cocaine dealers do E s t a t e. A n a l bu m t h at cont a i n s va r iou s not seem to fit in well with the moderate whining complaints on being rich and famous certainly of many of the other bands, but his performance sets the artist up for failure. (One of its most should test the limits of the audience. sincere lines is “Right, see the thing that’s got One of the chief issues with Intonation last it all fucked up now is camera-phones/ How year was its limits, its narrow-mindedness in the hell am I supposed to be able to do a line only selecting bands that fit Pitchfork’s mold. If in front of complete strangers/ When I know Ghostface succeeds this year, it will prove the they’ve all got cameras?”) durability of the festival (hipster fickleness is But, Skinner is still a talented and witty rapper, legendary) and also that of a city just trying to get so it comes off quite easily. It will be interesting, itself accommodated to the New York-centered though, to see if it translates well to the stage, world of indie rock music. buzz

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Gravitation

2. CAMERA OBSCURA Let’s Get Out Of This Country Merge

3. EL PERRO DEL MAR S/T Memphis Industries

4. KLEE Honeysuckle PHOTO COURTESY OF SARAH O’SHURA

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JARON BIRKAN • STAFF WRITER

ast year, the Pitchfork Media Web site held a coming-out party of sorts, curating the inaugural Intonation Festival at Chicago’s Union Park. It was a chance for Pitchfork to showcase some of its most-praised bands. So successful was it that Pitchfork broke away to form its own, self-titled festival. This time around it is programmed by the hipster bible Vice Magazine and its label Vice Records.

As such, many of the performers are on Vice’s roster. Notable among these are the headliners of the two-day event — the rock band Bloc Party and the London rapper The Streets. Both are intensely popular in their native Britain but have failed to find success among the recent British invasion.

In Bloc Party’s case, this ignorance even stretches to England. Products of New Music Express’s hype machine, their debut Silent Alarm was prefaced with incredible expectations, which surprisingly, it lived up to. It is not an album that draws attention to itself, (as the similarly hyped debuts Oasis or even Arctic Monkeys have) and operates strictly in miniature. Lead singer Kele Okereke’s voice is one of the most tuneful and nuanced in indie rock, but he never allows it to dominate. He hides it behind the layers of terse guitars and staccato drumbeats, an instrument rather than a messenger of punk bloviation, which the British press would certainly have appreciated more.

Their songs are firmly within the post-punk mold. Naturally, much is ebbed from Gang of Four, particularly the taut instrumentation and vague but strong leftist politics. Their songs strive for beauty, though it’s a strange and almost unwelcome trait in their genre. Most of the time it works, and some of their most poignant songs are almost ballads, a word almost antithetical to the ethos of their musical ancestry.

J u n e 15

Minty Fresh

5. SIX ORGANS OF ADMITTANCE Sun Awakens Drag City

6. THE 1900S Plume Delivery Parasol

7. BAND OF HORSES Everything All The Time Sub Pop

8. MOJAVE 3 Puzzles Like You 4AD

9. HOLY MADRE S/T NONS

10. OAKLEY HALL Gypsum Strings Jagjaguwar/Brah

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I DON’T THINK I CAN TALK TO YOU ANY MORE, I FEEL INFERIOR.

FEATURED EVENTS

THIS WEEK AT

Summer Studio Theatre Company June 16-July 30 Rotating repertory theatre that brings you romance, intrigue, and suspense is the hallmark of each Summer Studio Theatre Company season. The intriguing Einstein and the Polar Bear by Tom Griffin and the Pulitzer Prizewinning, Thornton Wilder classic The Matchmaker offer up this season’s romance, while suspense prevails in Richard Harris’ Dead Guilty.

K R A N N E RT C E N T E R F O R T H E P E R F O R M I N G A RT S

Experience Krannert Center to the fullest all summer

Tuesday-Saturday: $18 / SC & Stu $15 / UI $10 Sunday: $15 / SC & Stu $12 / UI $10 Opening Night Party: Tiempo Libre The opening night party returns to Krannert Center with the incendiary sounds of the Grammy-nominated Tiempo Libre. Mix, mingle, and move it to the rhythms of the Miami-based Cuban powerhouse that the Denver Post acclaimed “the top timba group in the United States today.” Enjoy an evening of great food, incredible music, and exciting surprises.

Saturday, September 9 Food and beverage sales begin at 6:30 pm Live music 7:30 pm to 10 pm Tours at 7 pm and 8 pm Krannert Center Lobby Tickets $5 each Free for children 5 and under For more information contact Krannert Center’s Ticket Office Open daily, 10 am to 6 pm Phone: (217) 333-6280 or TTY (217) 333-9714 Email: kran-tix@uiuc.edu Visit our website at KrannertCenter.com

Th Jun 15

We Jun 21

Intermezzo café

Krannert Uncorked 5pm, free

U of I Summer Jazz Band 7:30pm, $2-$6

Intermezzo serves fresh-baked breakfast goods, light and healthy lunches and dinners, vegetarian and nonvegetarian fare, decadent dessert treats, and Krannert Blends coffee. Intermezzo is open 7:30am to 3:30pm on nonperformance weekdays, 7:30am continuously through weekday performances, and on weekends from 90 minutes before until after performances.

217/333-8412

Fr Jun 16 Einstein and the Polar Bear 7:30pm, $10-$18

Sa Jun 17 Dead Guilty 8pm, $10-$18

Th Jun 22 Krannert Uncorked 5pm, free The Matchmaker 7:30pm, $10-$18

To receive updates on specials, new menu items, and other fun information from Intermezzo, sign up for our email list at KrannertCenter.com/Intermezzo.

The Promenade

Su Jun 18

If you are looking for a unique gift, or a special treat for yourself, stop in at the Center’s Promenade gift shop.

The Promenade carries fine art pieces and high-quality items, with a constantly changing stock of beautiful handcrafted items, creative toys, posters, T-shirts, jewelry, one-of-a-kind cards, delectable chocolates, and more.

Dead Guilty 7pm, $10-$15

The Promenade gift shop is located just off the Krannert Center lobby, and is open 10am to 6pm Monday through Saturday and one hour before until 30 minutes after all performances. 217/333-8300

Corporate Platinum Sponsors

In addition to the great times awaiting you at The Promenade and Intermezzo, proceeds from your purchases are invested right back into the performances you see on Krannert Center stages—and that’s a gift for us all.

On behalf of our community, we thank you.

Corporate Bronze Sponsor Illini Studio, Jon and Patricia Dessen

333.6280 8 0 0 . K C PAT I X

Patron Season Sponsors Rosann and Richard Noel

Marquee performances are supported in part by the Illinois Arts Council— a state agency which recognizes Krannert Center in its Partners in Excellence Program.

sounds from the scene

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Corporate Power Train Team Engine Members

40˚ North and Krannert Center, working together to put Champaign County’s culture on the map.

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TAKING A CUE FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY, EVENTS OF HIGH PRIORITY HAVE BEEN LABELED IN ORANGE.

THU. JUN 15 Live Bands Patrick Mustain, Gabe Rosen Aroma Cafe, 8pm, cover Ladyfinger, Johnnyork Canopy Club, 8pm, $5 Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern 9pm, free

Ambitious Pie Party June 17, 10 p.m.

Iron Post, $3

Thirsty Thursday: DJ Dice, DJ Smooth V Lava, 9pm, $5 DJ Huggy Joe’s Brewery 10pm, cover Metal Thursday Highdive 10pm, cover DJ Limbs Boltini 10:30pm, free Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Radmaker’s Billiard and Sports Bar, 7pm, free Boneyard Karaoke Memphis on Main, 7:30pm, free Karaoke Fat City Saloon 8pm, free “G� Force Karaoke Pia’s of Rantoul, 9pm, free Liquid Courage Karaoke The Office, 10pm, free Miscellaneous Krannert Uncorked Krannert Center, 5pm, free

FRI. JUN 16 WWW.MYSPACE.COM/AMBITIOUSPIEPARTY

Live Bands Billy Galt Blues Barbecue 11:30am, free St, Jude Fundraiser: Adam Wolfe Fat City Saloon 4pm, free The Dickies, NIL8, Alleyway Sex, Secret Agent Bill, Minority One, The Feramones McKinley Foundation, 5pm, $10 Weasel Dreams Iron Post 5pm, free Real Deal Jazz Band Cowboy Monkey, 5:30pm, free Shemekia Copeland Highdive 7pm, $15 Bob, Dan & Joni Hubers 8pm, free Full Circle, Figure 8 Fat City Saloon, 8pm, $3 The Blues Deacons Memphis on Main, 8:30pm, $4 Big Grove Zydeco Iron Post 9pm, $3 Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 ESP Johnny’s Bar & Grill 9pm, cover Bandito Bandana Phoenix 9pm, free Big Bang Theory Cowboy Monkey, 9:30pm, $5 X-Krush Tommy G’s, 9:30pm cover Will Rogers Band Neil St. Pub, 10pm, cover Quadremedy White Horse Inn, 10pm, free

In my youth, a place stood at high esteem and regard in the world of national chain restaurants.

Its name stood in bright lights and was held in admiration from people of all walks of life. With a delicious and diverse menu with not only breakfast, lunch and dinner items but a famous dessert menu, it was the spot for hungry people who liked to sit in wooden booths. Bakers Square has seen much better days. Years ago, parties of all sizes waited 15-25 minutes for a crack at the delicacies that were served up in the kitchen. Now, the chain is continuously being reduced in number and functions. Many are closing, and even more are no longer serving breakfast all day and are open fewer hours. French Silk and Oreo Crumble slices are getting edged out by trendier, more modern desserts like Jamba Juice smoothies and Cheesecake Factory’s ... cheesecake. Even old rivals like Dairy Queen are getting their share of the Bakers Square beat down party. Something needs to be done, something cunning, something ambitious.

Urbana, yes, the place you either live in or near, is home to the resistance; the group that is fighting to bring pie and other panned desserts back. Not only do they serve up an agenda dedicated to the preservation of the pie and those producing the pie but also a style of experimental rock like no other. They call themselves Ambitious Pie Party, a very fitting name since the band is both ambitious and party-like. All I’ve Learned is Pushed Aside, Ambitious Pie Party’s new album, explores a wide range of musical styles and sonic environments. Power solos like the era of Zeppelin and vocals akin to Dave Matthews top their delicately crispy crust while a strange and sweet filling rests within.

Regardless of whether Ambitious Pie Party has any affiliation or infatuation with Bakers’ Square, the two hold a great similarity — greatness. —Brian McGovern

Adam Wolfe Tommy G’s 9pm, free Soul System, DJ Mertz, DJ J-Philip Cowboy Monkey 9:30pm, $4 Will Rogers Band Neil St. Pub, 10pm, cover Noah Harris, Bailey Iron Post 10pm, $3 Shovelwrack White Horse Inn, 10:30pm, free

# Covered By Student Insurance !

FREE Exam & X-ray

! "

SNELL

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DJ Zen Thursday’s: DJ Asiatic Soma, 9pm, free

Dr. Joseph Snell

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DJ DJ Elise Boltini, 6pm, free DJ Bozak Soma, 8pm, cover DJ LNO Nargile, 9pm, free before 10pm DJ Who Joe’s Brewery, 10pm cover DJ Tim Williams Highdive 10pm, $5 DJ Mertz Boltini 10:30pm, free Dancing Contra Dancing Phillips Recreation Center, 8pm, $5 Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke The Brickhouse, 9pm, free Film Film: “The Sting� (1973) Virginia Theatre, 7pm, $5

MON. JUN 19

CU Special Recreation: Summer Day Camps Need something FUN to do this summer?

CU Special Recreation is in need of volunteers to help at one of their two summer camps for people with disabilities.

Camp Spirit serves ages 13-21 and FKO (For Kids Only) Camp provides activities for children ages 6-12. Volunteers are needed between 7:30 and 5:30 daily.

Pick your schedule! You would assist campers with art projects, play board games, basketball, softball and kickball.

You could attend afternoon pool or field trips including bowling, putt-putt or other local attractions. Male volunteers as good role models for our teen male campers are especially encouraged.

Please contact Kathy Stiebner at kathy. stiebner@cparkdistrict.com or 239-1152 for all the details.

SAT. JUN 17 Live Bands No Other Way, Rule 22, Gas Cap, Bandits, Alleyway Sex, Carbomb Lottery McKinley Foundation, 6pm, $5 Jeff Helgesen and Rachael Lee Alto Vineyards 7:30pm, $3 The Dolphins, Peasant Land Seizure Channing Murray Foundation, 8pm, $3 No Secret Hubers, 8pm, free Dropsixx, Flitered Through, Akaisha Canopy Club 8pm, $5 Candy Foster & Shades of Blue Fat City Saloon 8pm, cover Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 3 Headed Moses, Low Twelve, Human Artifacts Phoenix 9pm, $5 One 2 Many Johnny’s Bar & Grill, 9pm, $3 JigGsaw, Theory of Everything, Ezra Furman and the Harpoons Cowboy Monkey 9:30pm, $4 ESP Tommy G’s, 9:30pm cover Will Rogers Band Neil St. Pub, 10pm, cover Ambitious Pie Party Iron Post 10pm, $3 DJ DJ Bozak Soma, 8pm, cover DJ White Horse Inn 9:30pm, free DJ Naughty Boy Joe’s Brewery, 10pm, cover DJ Tim Williams Highdive 10pm, $5 DJ Elise Boltini 10:30pm, free Karaoke Creative Karaoke American Legion Post 71, 8pm, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s 9pm, free

Festivals Strawberry Jam [Bluegrass, folk and other traditional music. Free ice cream and strawberries while supplies last.] Meadowbrook Park 4pm, free Film Film: “The Sting� (1973) Virginia Theatre, 1 & 7pm, $5 Miscellaneous Voter registration [Two forms of identification are required.] Lincoln Square Mall, 8am, free Volunteer Project Workday — Intern Assistance Day [Volunteers needed to help with various Allerton Park projects in the gardens, natural areas and facilities.] Allerton Park 10am, free Voter registration [Two forms of identification are required.] Meadowbrook Park 4pm, free Taffy Thomas: Tackety Boots and Other Old Tales [Come see one of the best-loved storytellers in England.

Taffy will present two concerts: a free children’s concert at 2pm and a $5 adult concert (14 and above) at 7pm.] Spurlock Museum 2pm & 7pm, cover

SUN. JUN 18 Live Bands Jim Cole Iron Post, 7pm, $3 Concerts Starlight Musical: Candy Foster Douglass Park, 6pm free DJ sOUL tREE: DJ LNO Nargile 9pm, free before 10pm

VISIT WWW.CUCALENDAR.COM FOR THE MOST CURRENT EVENTS AND TO ADD YOUR OWN.

Live Bands Fuedin’ Hillbillies Rose Bowl Tavern, 6pm, free Michael Davis Bentley’s Pub 7pm, free MRS Trio Iron Post, 9pm, $2 Open Mic Night Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free WEFT Sessions: Triple Whip Weft 90.1 FM, 10pm, free Finga Lickin The Office 10:30pm, free DJ Jazz Mondays Nargile 8pm, free DJ Delayney Barfly 10pm, free

TUE. JUN 20 Live Bands Billy Galt Blues Barbecue 11:30am, free Spoken Word / Open Mic Nargile, 9pm, free DJ Zoo Theatre Company’s Boltini Bingo and Lounge Variety Show Boltini, 7pm, free Atomic Age Cocktail Party: DJ Jason Croft Cowboy Monkey 8pm, free Subversion: DJ Evily, DJ Twinscin Highdive, 10pm, $2 DJ Hoff, DJ Bambino Mike & Molly’s, 10pm, cover DJ Tremblin BG Barfly 10pm, free DJ J-Phlip Boltini 10:30pm, free Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s 9pm, free

WED. JUN 21 Live Bands Keith Harden Blair Park 6:30pm, free Irish Traditional Music Session Bentley’s Pub, 7pm, free Weapons of Mass DisFunktion Iron Post, 7pm, cover Lorenzo Goetz Canopy Club 8pm, free Adam Wolfe Fat City Saloon 9pm, free Fuedin’ Hillbillies Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free N.D.M.O Tommy G’s 9pm, free Soutiro Joe’s Brewery, 10pm, cover Concerts U of I Summer Jazz Band Krannert Center, 7:30pm $6, $2 DJ DJ Bris Soma, 8pm, cover Welcome Back Wednesdays: DJ LNO Nargile, 8pm, cover DJ Stifler Highdive, 8pm, $5 Chef Ra Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Bozak Boltini, 10:30pm free Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 8-10:30pm, free Salsa Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 10:30pm, $3 Karaoke Karaoke White Horse Inn 9:30pm, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovantis, 10pm, free

sounds from the scene

$ 1'$

art & theater Pour la Victoire: French Posters and Photographs of the Great War [Graphically charged, lushly colored lithographic posters from World War I vividly depict the place of women in the war effort, the need for personal sacrifice on the home front and the position of French colonial subjects.]

Krannert Art Museum through July 30 Designing Experiences: How Graphic and Industrial Design Shape Daily Life [Design is less about generating products than it is about creating experiences through products that satisfy functional, as well as spiritual, cultural, social, tribal and emotional needs. This exhibition profiles everyday products and solutions to visual communication problems created by UIUC Graphic and Industrial Design Alumni, and includes information about the designers, the design process and history of the products.]

Krannert Art Museum through July 30 CALCUL*RT [Features an array of media exploring the boundaries between mathematics and art, from the 3D wonders of the CANVAS, which displays new math-driven processes, to Internet-driven art pieces developed by collaborations between Mathematics, Art +Design and English departments, to art works featuring holographic images by Ellen Sandor, a pioneer in the use of digital media, and Donna Cox of the NCSA, as well as a variety of sculptures, created using everything from mathematics to computer-generated 3-D imaging to old-fashioned wood.

Historic math-art videos such as Edwin Abbott’s Flatland and Charles and Ray Eames’ Powers of 10 are also on display.]

Krannert Art Museum through July 30 Rain Forest Visions [This exhibition focuses on artistic representations by contemporary South American indigenous people of ecological, mythical and cosmic spirit forces in their lives.

The focal people, whose myths and narratives provide the basis for the imagery, are the Canelos Quichua of Amazonian Ecuador.

Complementary artifacts come from the Achuar, Tigua and Chachi of Ecuador, the Shipibo-Conibo of Peru, the Waounam and EmberĂĄ of Colombia and Panama, the Tukuna of Colombia and Brazil and the Yekuana of Venezuela.]

Spurlock Museum through Aug. 20

Visits [Works by Billy and Siti Mariah Jackson] Verde Gallery through June 17 Acrylic Self Portraits [Champaign Centennial High School Painting class exhibit] Pages For All Ages through June 30 Parkland College Digital Media Student Juried Exhibition Parkland Art Gallery through June 22 Smithsonian Institution’s Between Fences Exhibit [This exhibit explores the importance of the fence and boundaries, both real and imagined, in the development of the United States.]

Early American Museum through July 4 Parallel Play [Show of paintings by Laurie Weller and etching/monoprints

by Gary Washmon of Denton, Texas.]

Cinema Gallery through July 8 Einstein and the Polar Bear [Novelist Bill Allenson has escaped from heartbreak and writer’s block to a cluttered used bookstore in the New England countryside where he and his father have joined the feisty residents of Spider Lake.

When a ‘beautiful bibliophile’ shows up amidst a February blizzard, Bill confronts his deep-seated cynicism, a polar bear and a mystery involving Einstein as this romantic comedy unfolds.]

Krannert Center’s Studio Theatre, June 16 7:30p.m., $18 Dead Guilty [When John Haddrell dies at the wheel of his car from a heart attack, the woman beside him is not his wife Margaret but graphic designer Julia Darrow. Now homebound as she recovers from serious injury and acute depression, Julia copes with her injuriesemotional and physical-by allowing the dead man’s widow to visit her.

Events turn sinister as a series of strange coincidences isolate Julia from all others in her life. Love and loyalty are called into question as this psychological thriller unfolds.]

Krannert Center’s Studio Theatre, June 17-18 June 17 performance at 8p.m., June 18 performance at 7p.m., $18

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Send your 15 song “dream playlist� to WPGU by Sunday, July 2nd at midnight and YOU could win your own show on WPGU 107.1! The WPGU staff will pick the contestant with the most amazing playlist and announce the winner live on-air Wednesday, July 5th at 5 pm.

The winner gets a one-hour special airshift on WPGU during the week of July 10th to rock the with their music!

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Need Tires Plus and Brya Insurance.

Romeo and Juliet [As told by the Prompting Theater] University YMCA, June 17 2p.m., free

INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

Illini Apple Center IN

Yellow

B ETWEEN | THE S ILVER S CREEN | CLASSIF EDS | THE STINGER

12

stage, screen & i n b e t w e e n

Unknown Underwire And Elbow-Angels { a short work of fiction }

JACQUELIN HEDEMAN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

M

INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE , S CREEN &

I snapped abruptly back into reality and said in a panicked voice, “I’m not wearing them! They’re too big, I swear!”

“Then put them back on the rack,” she said.

I glanced over my shoulder, half ex pect i ng a l a rge crowd to h ave gathered. They would be wearing ’40s film noir costumes, and some of them would be recording my embarrassment using clicking cameras with oversized flashbulbs. The women would all be wearing green matching underwear sets, lace, under w ire and a l l, and they would be visible under their semi-transparent white shirts. Their underwear matched their eyes, but no one would know that since it was all in black and white. Instead, everyone else in the store would think that their shirts matched their platinum blond hair.

But no, there wasn’t a strand of platinum blond in sight, and the only green bras were on a corner rack. On the other hand, there were about six women checking out negligees a few feet away and concentrating so hard on not staring at me that it was fairly obvious that there was nothing they’d like better to be doing.

I met one of their eyes, a girl who looked like she was about 10. She didn’t flinch — obviously a hardened Victoria’s Secret shopper. I wondered why she was here if she didn’t even need a bra yet. I, on the other hand, with six more years under my belt, was trying not to succumb to a rising paranoia.

Only a little hesitantly, I walked into the changing room, seized the hanger, and returned it to its rightful place. I sighed. This was good. Maybe now I could grab the right thing, try it on, and be out of here.

“Here now, that wasn’t too hard,” shrilled my elbow-angel, jolting me yet again.

“Now may I help you? Were there any more pajamas you wanted to see?”

I looked down, tried to make eye contact, failed, made cleavage contact instead, panicked. I tried to concentrate on something else.

Think how proud your locker room buddies will be! encouraged my mind. Think how you’ll feel when this is all over and the underwear goddesses are congratulating you on your choice!

I glanced over at the women by the negligees. Their heads snapped away.

“Well?” squeaked the woman at my elbow.

I turned and ran out of the store.

ILLUSTRATION BY NIKITA SOROKIN

y aunt sent me a gift certificate to Victoria’s Secret.

When I opened the pink envelope and saw what it contained I panicked. Oh no!

My I’m-not-interested-in-lingerie exterior was forever fractured. Secretly, I was delighted.

I got to venture into the lacy unknown.

When I finally got around to driving out to the mall, I instantly regretted my clothing choice of baggy khakis and a light blue shirt. I looked vaguely masculine, not at all like someone who was bursting with excitement to enter the den of underwire. I let my hair down, applied lip-gloss and tried to walk in as if I owned the place. I probably just looked even more ridiculous.

“May I help you?” squeaked a voice from the region of my elbow.

I jumped and turned. There stood a 4-and-a-half-foot-tall graying saleswoman, obviously modeling the latest pushup bra under what would other wise be a not-too-revealing v-neck sweater.

“Um…I...” It was hard to look down a foot and a half and then focus exclusively on her face. “I’m...uhh”. Matching set! screamed my mind. Lacy underwire! Padded something! “Do you have pajamas here?” my chicken mouth asked.

“Of course,” squeaked the woman, and she was off through pink perfumed piles of silk to the very back of the store. There stood a feeble rack of pajamas on which swung a few pairs of flannel pajamas with star patterns, big-eyed cows and smiling clouds.

Great. “Thanks,” I muttered. “Just what I was looking for.”

She melted away, and I shyly glanced out of the corner of my eye toward a pile of thongs, right by the changing room door.

Thongs aren’t really my thing as far as I know, but what did I see beyond? Wonderful, glorious matching bras and panties!

Just what I needed.

If I grabbed them and lunged into the changing room, no one would notice. No one would crash through the ceiling suspended by a nylon rope, grab my shoulder, and bellow into my ear, “Are you qualified to have that underwear?”

With those reassurances in mind, I slunk across to the set of racks by the door, checked the ceiling for cracks, blindly grabbed a hanger, and ducked into the changing room. I leaned against the door, panting. Safe.

It was only then that I looked down at the underwear in my hand. Horror! It was what appeared to be an extra-extra-extra large spotted pink and yellow bikini top with matching thong!

In my haste I had grabbed from the wrong rack. This was not the tasteful light blue underwear I desired.

For the first time it occurred to me that I might actually have to pay attention to what I was doing. I had to have my wits about me, check the sizes and prices, and try not to behave like a guilt-ridden lunatic. It took nerves of steel to shop at Victoria’s Secret. Thus it was with new purpose that I hung the offending garments on a peg and strode out of the changing room “Excuse me, honey,” peeped the voice at my elbow.

“Gaaaah!” I screamed, before I realized that it was not Will & Grace’s Karen suspended from the ceiling but the same sales associate as before. So much for cool, calm and collected. “Erm... yes?” I amended, trying to resume my former brief placidity.

“It’s store policy that you must return any tried-on items to the rack they came from,” she said with precision. “You went

in with an extra-extra-extra large, polka-dotted matching bra and panties set. It is important that you return it, or our security personnel will be under the impression that you are, in fact, wearing the set now.”

My terror was limitless. I envisioned a strip-search with me on a glowing white table and an ominously squeaky voiceover intoning, “Nope, she’s not wearing ’em but...eugh! Look at what she is wearing!”

Different voices would come in and out like a restaurant scene in a movie. “... baggy ...” “... doesn’t match.”

“Hanes Her Way? I haven’t seen those since the ’90s!”

“Where in the name of God is her underwire?!?!?”

“Has she no shame?”

IN

B ETWEEN | CLASSIF EDS | THE STINGER

sounds from the scene

J u n e 15

•

J u n e 21 , 2 oo 6

buzz weekly •

DOUBLE BARREL BLUNDERBUSS.

THE OMEN ’76

Robin Peters

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it PAUL PRIKAZSKY • STAFF WRITER

T

he original 1976 Omen was a horror masterpiece. A true rarity by today’s standards, it evoked unseen terrors and scared the bejesus out of everyone, not by what it showed you but by what it didn’t show you.

The Omen was a horror fi lm grounded in reality, making it all the more terrifying. And with great performances from Gregory Peck and Lee Remick as the unwitting caretakers of the spawn of Satan and a chilling score

by Jerry Goldsmith, the original remains an eternal classic.

But then the money-whore that is Hollywood strikes again! With the onset of June 6, 2006, producers churned out yet another remake. Good marketing campaign — I’ll give them that — but unfortunately to no avail; they blew it.

Several scenes in the remake are taken verbatim from the original. Liev Schreiber and Julia Stiles are most unbelievable and uncharismatic as Robert and Katherine Thorn. The brat who plays the eponymous Son of Sam (Seamus DaveyFitzpatrick) is an ugly little tyke whose scowl resembles one of constipation.

Then again, the new Omen looks pretty slick on celluloid. Great cinematography and editing are its sole saving grace, though the new additions of Katherine’s horrific dreams and a more gruesome death for the hapless reporter (David Thewlis) will fail to frighten anyone.

If the media blitz works, The Omen ’06 may turn a sizable profit, though more intelligent cinephiles will indulge in the far more frightening original.

This is because the original had something most modern horror fi lms don’t: good characters that the audience can sympathize with and actually fi nd appealing.

Then again, if most people believe the hubbub and nonsense and cough up their honest ten bucks, we can all expect a sequel. I can see it now, The Omen II: Damien goes through Puberty...

FROM HELL!

What’s the hardest part about being in cinema?

Robin Peters, an Urbana-Champaign local, proves that with hard work and dedication, any dream can become a reality. Growing up in a dangerous part of St. Louis, Robin Peters — stage named Robin Christian — came to central Illinois to start a new life with his single mother and two older brothers. He credits his mother with his internal inspiration, saying that she instilled a certain work ethic that wouldn’t go unnoticed.

Working in grocery stores and playing in bands, all Peters needed was enough money to start his passion in film. In 2000, Peters finally got the opportunity to direct two of his shorts titled “Jack Potts� and “Darling Daughter.� Since then, he has gone on to expand his film talents with edgier movies, big name actors and his own production company called Dreamscape Cinema. His newest film, “Disconnect,� premiers at the University of Illinois’ Foellinger Auditorium at 7 p.m. on Saturday, June 17.

sounds from the scene

2OUTE AND "URWASH !VE

It is a blessing being in our area, as people are more excited to help than they would be in L.A., N.Y. or even Chicago. There, they see it as a moneymaker for themselves. In this area, locations are cheaper, extras are abundant and will work for food, businesses more willing to provide support, etc. However, it’s less convenient here in that we have to fl y in Hollywood talent and the crew/trucks from Chicago. It makes it a little more difficult to sell from here, so I have to go to L.A. a lot.

When did you know that this is what you wanted to do with your life?

When I was 12. I came up with a movie idea that is still (along with 20 others) formulating in my head. I saw myself as the hero in an action fi lm where I had to overcome impossible odds to beat the antagonists. Ever since then, I’ve been coming up with ideas, and if they are original, pursuing them.

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.O PASSES

Disconnect, as it seems the most personal. (The lead is dealing with the same emotions I went through when I lost my mother.) We believe we’ve delivered a good take on the lead girl’s character and added a ‘time-shifting’ supernatural angle to it as well. The acting seemed natural, and the visuals and music from Academy Awardwinner Alan Williams really brings you in and takes you for a thriller ride.

How long does one project usually take?

Two years from idea, script, development, production, post and marketing. I’m balancing

policy, resource exploitation, religious fanaticism and the war on terror, highlighting their rather absurd elements with witty commentary.

Certainly not for the GOP-at-heart, Hell in a Handbasket dishes it out unapologetically, questioning the logic of the current leaders of our country.

This book, along with much of his other work, has raised a stir among political pundits on both the right and left. When asked to comment on the book, Ann Coulter, an unrelenting conservative

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So, then action is your favorite genre?

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WITH PURCHASE OF OZ BAG OF BUTTERY POPCORN

Yes, but every genre excites me if I have a great idea about them.

What feature are you most proud of?

BRENT SIMERSON • STAFF WRITER

I

SCOTT FRANKEL • STAFF WRITER

them at different stages of development (i.e. I’ll be writing the next one as we edit the last).

TOM TOMORROW’S HELL IN A HANDBASKET t isn’t every day that you stumble across politically-charged, staunchly-partisan fl ash points — well, not in cartoon form anyway.

Tom Tomorrow’s biting premier compilation Hell in a Handbasket hides little scorn for President George W. Bush and his administration.

Everyone plays their part in the strip – Rumsfeld, Cheney, Rice, Rove and even an angr y penguin. Sticking to current events, Tomorrow weighs in on relevant post-9/11 topics like weapons of mass destruction, fi scal

www.GQTI.com

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S

PHOTO COURTESY OF ROBIN PETERS

THE OMEN ’06

SAVOY 16

ARTIST’S CORNER

VS.

13

ONE PER AD 3AVOY %XP !5' "5::

Any advice for future filmmakers?

Don’t give up. Surround yourself with great talent (pro actors and crew), and they’ll fi ll in what you don’t know. Before you shoot the script, make sure it is a story that’s original and really needs to be told. Make sure the script is as tight and exciting as you can possibly make it. If you can’t do it ser vice, there is nothing wrong with grabbing your friends and practicing with a video camera. A few short fi lms are great experiences and show fortitude on a resume. buzz

political commentator and author, lamented, “Nothing remotely funny.�

However, when liberal activist and director Michael Moore was asked to comment, he exclaimed, “The next time I see Tom Tomorrow, I will thank him for helping America laugh while the world laughed at us. I will thank him for never backing down, no matter how dark and crazy the times were. And I will beg him never to put down his mighty pen or we shall all be doomed. Hail, Tom Tomorrow!�

Tom Tomorrow is renowned in the cartooning arena, authoring the popular political comic strip This Modern World. His work has appeared in many prominent newspapers, including The New York Times, U.S. News and World Report and The New Yorker. Tomorrow’s talent has earned him the Robert F. Kennedy Journalism Award for Cartooning on two separate occasions.

GARFIELD: A TAIL OF TWO KITTIES (PG) Fri. & Sat. 12:35 2:40

4:45 7:00 9:20 11:30 Sun. - Thu. 12:35 2:40 4:45 7:00 9:20 OVER THE HEDGE (PG) Fri. 12:00 1:00 2:00 3:00 4:00 5:00 5:55 7:00 8:00 9:00 9:55 11:00 Sat. 11:00 12:00 1:00 2:00 3:00 4:00 5:00 5:55 7:00 8:00 9:00 9:55 11:00 Sun. - Thu. 12:00 1:00 2:00 3:00 4:00 5:00 5:55 7:00 8:00 9:00 9:55

THE DA VINCI CODE (PG–13) Fri. 2:00 5:00 8:00 11:00 Sat. 11:00 2:00 5:00 8:00 11:00 Sun. - Thu. 2:00 5:00 8:00 THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS: TOKYO DRIFT (PG–13) Fri. 12:30 1:45 2:55 4:15 5:20 7:00 7:45 9:30 10:10 12:00 Sat. 11:00 12:30 1:45 2:55 4:15 5:20 7:00 7:45 9:30 10:10 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 12:30 1:45 2:55 4:15 5:20 7:00 7:45 9:30 10:10 NACHO LIBRE (PG) Fri. & Sat. 12:50 3:10 5:20 7:40 10:00 12:05 Sun. - Thu. 12:50 3:10 5:20 7:40 10:00 THE LAKE HOUSE (PG) Fri. & Sat. 12:40 3:00 5:15 7:30 9:50 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 12:40 3:00 5:15 7:30 9:50 CARS (G) Fri. & Sat. 11:30 12:00 12:55 2:00 2:30 3:25 4:30 5:00 5:55 7:00 7:30 8:30 9:30 10:00 11:00 11:55 Sun. - Thu. 11:30 12:00 12:55 2:00 2:30 3:25 4:30 5:00 5:55 7:00 7:30 8:30 9:30 10:00

A PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 12:10 2:35 5:00 7:25 9:50 12:10 Sun. - Thu. 12:10 2:35 5:00 7:25 9:50 THE OMEN (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:40 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:40 THE BREAK-UP (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 12:00 12:30 2:30 3:00 5:00 5:30 7:30 8:00 10:00 10:30 12:20 Sun. - Thu. 12:00 12:30 2:30 3:00 5:00 5:30 7:30 8:00 10:00 X-MEN: THE LAST STAND (PG–13) Fri. 12:30 1:00 1:30 3:00 3:25 4:00 5:25 5:50 7:00 7:50 8:15 9:30 10:15 10:40 11:45 Sat. 11:00 12:30 1:00 1:30 3:00 3:25 4:00 5:25 5:50 7:00 7:50 8:15 9:30 10:15 10:40 11:45 Sun. - Thu. 12:30 1:00 1:30 3:00 3:25 4:00 5:25 5:50 7:00 7:50 8:15 9:30 10:15

INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE , S CREEN &

Showtimes for 6/16 thru 6/22 IN

B ETWEEN | CLASSIF EDS | THE STINGER

14 •

buzz weekly PHONE: 217 - 337 - 8337 DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

APARTMENTS

INDEX

Employment 000 000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion.

• All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time.

• All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student.

• Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment.

• All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student.

• This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

HELP WANTED

020

Daily Illini/Buzz Ad-visor NOW HIRING FOR SUMMER & FALL We’re looking for reliable, smart, motivated salespeople to work in our ad department. You’ll be our main contact for student organizations, University departments, and customers placing classified ads. Must be available to work at least 10 hrs. per week between 8-5pm.

If interested, please send resume to dawn@illinimedia.com. Include your fall and summer semester availability and answer the question, “Why should I hire you?”

Looking for a fun part-time job? If so, we have a position for you. 88-West Apartments is looking for leasing agents! If you are interested in great pay and a great experience e-mail your resume to rreddy@88-west.com or call 217344-8800.

Seeking responsible, professional, enthusiastic Mac-lover for part-time Macintosh hardware/software support services. Will train. (217)2024462, jennifer@ardescentia.com

HELP WANTED

Services

100 150

TUTORING

030

Apartments

400

Available Now 1 bedroom $385 Campus. 367-6626

APARTMENTS

410

Furnished/Unfurnished 103 S. Poplar, U. 1 BD/1 BA Avail 8/1 $490/mo.

307 E. Elm #3, U. 1 BD/1BA Avail 8/1, $450/mo.

903 N. Lincoln, U. 2 BD/2BA, fireplace. We have furnished or unfurnished units avail now! $835935/mo.

203 S. Cottage Grove, U. 1 BD/1BA, garage. Avail 8/1. $640/mo.

201 S. Cottage Grove, U. 2 BD, 1 BA, garage. Finished bsmt, large deck & fenced yard. Avail 8/1. $935/mo.

Full/Part Time

$8.25/hour

BUSINESS OPPS

050

BARTENDING! $300/day potential, training provided, no experience necessary. 1-800965-6520 x109.

HELP WANTED Part Time

020

Aug. 2006. 2 bdrm apts Furnished $525/mo. Parking optional, Central A/C, Carpet, Laundry, Ethernet avail. Shown 7 days/wk.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

J u n e 21 , 2 oo 6

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

1005 S. SECOND, C

1011 S. Locust. Ethernet, heat, water, trash and sewer all included!

Roland-Realty.com 328-1226

Fall 2006. Efficiencies. Secured building. Private parking. Laundry on site, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

503- 505- 508 E. White Fall 2006. 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kyle, 202-7240.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

•

105 E. GREEN, C 509 Stoughton Near Grainger, Spacious studios and 2 bedrooms, ethernet, parking.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Aug 2006. Studio Apts. Wall A/C units, Laundry, Ethernet avail. From $310/mo. Parking $50/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

706 S. WALNUT, U Aug 2006. 1 bdrms from $485/mo.

Central A/C, Laundry. Parking. Furnished $50/mo. Shown 7 days/k.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com Best Value 1 bedroom lofts $535 2 bedrooms $575 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $925 Campus, parking.

Spring ‘06, 367-6626 BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480.

1 Br. $395 2 BR. $580 3 BR. $750 4 BR $855 Campus. 367-6626.

Old Town Champaign

Convenient to campus & downtown, old town Champaign, 1 & 2 BR’s, available starting June, July & August. From $380/mo.Call 352-8540, or see: www.faronproperties.com

APARTMENTS

217-239-6677

Warehouse associates, full- and part-time. Downtown Champaign.

Easy access from buses. Lifting up to 70 pounds. Apply at Meyer Drapery, 330 N. Neil, Champaign. 3525318.

420

1 Bedroom + Office

Aug 2006. Attractive modern lofts.

D/W, disposal, window a/c, ceiling fans, patio/balconies, laundry, parking, 2nd Floor skylights. Rents from $360. $50/mo. to furnish. Shown 7 days/wk.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

609 W. MAIN, U.

I am an American ESL tutor to help you improve your English. For adults I have helped many with conversation, job interview practice or paper editing. Contact Paul at 217-6375923 or englishtutor4u@yahoo.com.

APARTMENTS Furnished

105 E. CLARK

Wanted/Offered

Part Time

410

Furnished/Unfurnished

classifieds Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

J u n e 15

QUIT PICKING YOUR NOSE PLEASE.

410

Furnished/Unfurnished Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $585/mo. 367-6626.

Quality campus apartments and group houses. Marcus 621-3971.

105 E. JOHN Available Fall 2006. 1 bedroom furnished, great location. Includes parking. Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup95.com

HELP WANTED

020

Part Time

DEADLINE:

2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

RATES: Billed rate: 38¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 32¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE , S CREEN &

IN

B ETWEEN | CLASSIF EDS | THE STINGER

sounds from the scene

buzz weekly

420

Furnished

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

509 E. White, C.

Aug 2006. 1 Bdrms near Engineering campus. Wall A/C, Parking. Rent $425/mo. Shown 7 days/wk.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1107 S. EUCLID, C

311 E. WHITE, C

Avail Aug 2006. Large efficiencies close to Beckman Center. From $340/mo. Parking avail at $35/mo.

Window A/C, carpet, Ethernet avail.

Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com 3rd and Clark Leasing for August ‘06. Beautiful furnished 3 bedroom 1 bath, and 4 bedroom 2 bath apartments at 3rd and Clark . Nicest on campus $700$1,000 per month. Ted 766-5108.

Old Town Champaign

Aug 2006. Near Armory, IMPE and Snack Bar. Window A/C, Laundry, Ethernet avail. Rents from $395/mo.

Parking $50/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

510 S. Elm Available Fall 2006. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, furnished, W/D, central air/heat, off street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. $595/mo.

841-1996.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Huge Studios

506 E. Stoughton, C.

901 & 909 S. First. Ethernet, cable, water, trash and sewer all included.

Roland-Realty.com 328-1226

307 & 310 E. WHITE 307 & 309 CLARK

Fall 2006 Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup.com 352-3182

For August 2006. Extra large efficiency apartments. Security building entry, complete furniture, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available.

Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 Available June 1- Studios 1 bedroom • 2 bedroom• 3 bedroom www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

3 blocks to Engineering Quad. 3 BR $725, 4 BR $950. C/A, ceiling fan, dishwasher, washer/dryer in unit.

384-1099, Castle_Apt@insightbb.com

1006 S. 3RD, C.

106 E. STOUGHTON, C

420

Furnished

304 E. Clark, C Castle Apartments

106 DANIEL, C.

For August 2006. 1 bedroom apartments. Ethernet available. Some townhouses. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

August 2006. 1 bedrooms. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

APARTMENTS

August 2006. Large 1 bedrooms.

Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

509 W. MAIN, U.

Aug 2006. 1 BR apts. From $400/mo. Laundry, window A/C, Parking avail at $35/mo. Ethernet available. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

604 E. White, C.

Security Entrance For Fall 2006, Large 1 bedroom, furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available.

Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

705 W. Stoughton

3 bedroom apartment Spacious living area. Communal balcony & great backyard. Plus a bar area in kitchen.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP 352-3182

All utilities included!

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

Furnished

702 W. WESTERN, U

Apartments

502 E. HEALEY, C

August 2006. JUST REMODELEDTOP TO BOTTOM!!!! NEW NEW NEW!!!! The BEST LOCATED 1 BEDROOMS on campus- period.

Here's the best part: 1 bedrooms $575/mo. Ethernet avail. Parking avail. Shown 7 days/wk.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

807-809 W. ILLINOIS, U

Aug 2006. 1 Bdrms corner of Lincoln & Illinois. Window A/C, Laundry, Ethernet avail. Rent $550/mo. Parking $45/mo. Shown 7 days/wk.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

ARBOR APARTMENTS, C. Aug 2006. 1 bdrms at Third & Gregory across from Snack Bar. Window A/C, Laundry, Ethernet avail. Rents from $390/mo. Parking $50/mo.

Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

· 1012 S. First, C.- Studio on the bus line and great for the individual who can1t get enough of the sports quad! $295 all utilities 217-359-6400 www.ramshaw.com

408 E. Stoughton. Huge 1 bedrooms close to the Engineering Quad.

Roland-Realty.com 328-1226

t is

out!

for all inclusive living in the CU area.

UTILITIES INCLUDED Avail. January & August 2006. Close to Campus. 4 bedroom apts. with Disposal, Dishwashers, Washer/Dryers in each unit, Ethernet access, Central A/C. Handicap accessible.

Shown 7 days a week.

Available Now · 502 E. Stoughton, C.- Beautiful older converted home with 1 bdrm apt.near Beckman Institute, many utilities included. $420-450

re

706 S. FIRST, C

Aug 2006. Half block south of Green. 2 bdrms from $490/mo. Window A/C, Ethernet avail. Parking at $40/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

JOHN & LOCUST, C

Aug 2006. Huge one bdrms, Ethernet avail, Window A/C. Rents from $370/mo. Parking $20/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

THE GEORGIAN 1005 S. SIXTH, C

Aug 2006. Next to UI Library. 1 bedrooms from $540 to $550/mo.

Laundry, Window A/C, Carpet.

Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

APARTMENTS Furnished

420

Fully furnished, 1200 sq. ft.

4 bedroom/ 4 bath 3 bedroom/ 3 bath plus office

RENT STARTS AT $370!

SPRING ‘06 LEASES AVAILABLE

J u n e 21 , 2 oo 6 420

APARTMENTS

Deluxe 2 BR Townhouses 206 E. Green, C. 1 Free Parking Space New Energy Efficient A/C and Heat Ethernet Access $380/mo/person Call 621-3430 APARTMENTS

Rent includes ALL utilities, parking and broadband internet.

On the silver bus line Fitness center, computer lab, indoor pool, sauna, hot tub, gardens and pond Full year and school year leases.

Excellent roommate matching service On site Management

430

2 bedroom apartment, 4 bedroom house. dek20@hotmail.com, 3560543

205 E. HEALEY, C

Aug 2006. Huge 1 bdrm apts. Window A/C, Ethernet available. Parking $40/mo. Rents starts at $435/mo.

Shown 7 days/wk.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com 511 W. Washington, C 2.5 Bedroom avail August 1. All appliances plus washer and dryer. Offstreet parking. No pets. 217-7788894.

Colony West Condo, quiet, clean and light. Next to park, 1 blk fr. bus to campus. 2 bdrm, LR, tiled DR and kitchen. W/D. Lots of closet space.

Balcony, pool, tennis. $700. Lo utils.

Avail. 7/1 or 8/1. (217) 598-2486.

Atrium Apartments 1306 N. Lincoln Ave. Urbana, IL 61801 217-328-5122 www.atriumapartments.com

722 S. BROADWAY, U.

Aug 2006. 1 bdrm apts close to Campus. Window A/C. Rents $430/mo. Shown 7 days/wk.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Open House M-F 9:30-4:30

APARTMENTS

GREAT VALUE

306-308-309 White August 2006. 1 & 3 Bedroom furnished apts. Balconies, patios, laundry, dishwashers, off-street parking, ethernet available. 841-1996.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Unfurnished

420

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

Furnished

ankier

•

Furnished

Atrium

Aug 2006. 1 bdrms, Window A/C, carpet/tile floors, laundry. Parking avail. Rent $510/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

JOHN RANDOLPH ATRIUM

420

APARTMENTS

ec

APARTMENTS

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YOU’RE A SHMOOPY.

t he s

15 •

partments

www.bankierapts.com

Choice 1,2 & 3 Bedrooms for Fall

High speed internet access/Ethernet

Laundry facilities, many with washer/ dryer in unit Dishwasher/Microhood Balconies Intercom Entry Parking 24 hour emergency maintenance

SEE THE DIFFERENCE Mon-Sat (217) 328-3770 INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

IN

B ETWEEN | C LASSIFIEDS | THE STINGER

GREAT GREAT CAMPUS CAMPUS LOCATIONS! LOCATIONS!

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APARTMENTS

ONCE AGAIN, I’M STANDING HERE LIKE A LITTLE MAN.

430

Unfurnished Quiet 1 BR apartment. Washer/dryer Available for fall. Located in Urbana. $450/mo. 359-8103.

SUBLETS

440

Large 1 BR apartment available now to August. Parking, A/C, furnished, close to shopping, busline. $700/summer, negotiable. Deposit required. 847-533-0184. mookids@yahoo.com

Other Rentals 500 HOUSES

510

1, 2, 3 bedroom houses, condos, and duplexes for rent. Great Champaign Location. Many amenities W/D, A/C, etc. 637-0806.

HOUSES

510

2 and 1 bedroom houses for rent in Urbana. 5 minutes from campus.

Call Terry 367-0316.

HOUSES

510

907 E. California, Urbana. 1 BR, 1 BA. $410/mo

217-239-6677

APARTMENTS Furnished

420

APARTMENTS Furnished

420

APARTMENTS Furnished

420

Eight to Nine Bedroom, $2700 2 Bedroom, $695-$725 367-6626

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10

CAMPUS GROUP HOUSES 4 or 6 BR campus area, limited parking, partially furnished, NO Pets, $1,125 or $1,700. www.ppmrent.com 351-1800

Bedroom Apartments

Large 4 Bedroom. Free parking, free W/D, $1460/mo. Real Estate Professionals, 417-5539.

Some with washers and driers in each unit! All are five minutes from the Quad.

A place and price for everyone!

344-0700

809 W. Charles August ‘06. Delightful, furnished 3 bedroom 1 bath home. Parking, laundry included. $1000/mo. Ted 766-5108

APARTMENTS Furnished

INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

IN

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420

ROOMS

530

$AVE A BUNDLE 5 or 10 MONTH LEASE 804 W. OREGON SPACIOUS, FURNISHED BEDROOMS FOR FALL 2006. NEWLY REDECORATED. ALL UTILITIES INCLUDED. KITCHEN PRIVILEGES, LAUNDRY, PARKING, HISPEED INTERNET. 217-367-0956 1 bedroom available in cute 4 bedroom house; Urbana; (618)6161275 1 BR in 4 BR apartment. $350/mo.

367-6626.

CAMPUS AREA. Quality furnished room in house. Shared kitchen, laundry. On buslines. Includes utilities. $300/monthly. Summer only.

356-0345.

APARTMENTS Furnished

ROOMMATE WANTED 550 1 bedroom, near campus $345/mo.

367-6626 1 female roommate wanted in a new house. Available August 1. 1.4 miles away from VetMed. $450/mo including utilities (free water, electricity, heat, CA, washer/dryer, balcony/ patio, wireless internet). Louise, 217369-5847 or llee2@uiuc.edu

2 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2006. 367-6626.

4 bedrooms, near Hessel Park. C/A, all appliances. Credit check. No smoking, prefer no pets. Available August. $900. 352-3032

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Announcements800 ADOPTION

850

Adoption....A Family Awaits We are a childless couple who can offer love, laughter, hugs, comfort, support & guidance, & a good home.

877-795-BABY. Medical, legal, court approved living exps pd. Confidential. Illinois DCFS License #012998

Graduate Students. House Downtown Champaign, W/D, wireless, $350 per month. 217-369-2406.

Male grad seeks quiet roommate, Urbana house. $275 + half utilities.

367-7980. linebaug@uiuc.edu Near Campus, $350/ mo. 3676626.

Roommate wanted for 2 BR apartment. $390/mo plus utilities. Cable included, washer/dryer in unit, dishwasher, balcony. For ‘06-’07. atoghra2@uiuc.edu Available now and for Fall. Shared deluxe furnished 4 br., 2 bath apartment at 3rd & Clark. $225/mo. + utilities. Ted 7665108.

APARTMENTS Furnished

420

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

sounds from the scene

J u n e 21 , 2006

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

HOUSES

buzz weekly •

RETAIL IS FOR SUCKERS.

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

510

HOUSES

510

www.dailyillini.com

•

Look between the lines.

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APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

APARTMENTS

17

HOUSES

510

HOUSES

510

CONDOS/DUPLEXES

620

CONDOS/DUPLEXES

620

420

Furnished

CONDOS/DUPLEXES

620

CONDOS/DUPLEXES

620

www.cucalender.com COMMERCIAL PROPERTY

COMMERCIAL PROPERTY

COMMERCIAL PROPERTY

Commercial Office Building

2-story building with attractive street appeal and parking in desirable campus location.

57 E. Green St., Champaign. Approximately 8,000 sq. ft.

Serious inquiries only please. Contact Roger Marsh 328-0123. sounds from the scene

INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

IN

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the stinger kim rice & kate ruin DOIN’ IT WELL

Are you a Cybersexual?

jonesin CROSSWORD PUZZLE

23 Realm ruled until 1806, for short 24 Cheese’s partner 26 Bugs 27 Mark Mothersbaugh’s Across former group 1 Has sex with 30 Easily entertained 6 Angry and impatient 33 “What ___” (Sublime 11 Internet access variety, for short song) 34 Word that’s intoned 14 Have ___ (whoop it up) 35 First language of Hank’s 15 Like some slot maneighbor on “King of chines 16 Ambient rocker Brian the Hill” 38 Donald’s girlfriend 17 Balance sheet item 40 Video game with arrows that’s mentioned while doing your business? and a floor pad, for 19 ___ canto (operatic style) short 20 It may come with 41 Nest components 43 Unlike 666 multiple forks 44 The postal service 21 Feature of some benefits packages 47 Achilles’s weak spot “Nice Doing Business With You”--from the boardroom to the bathroom.

48 Hot, platonic “date” for the evening 50 ___-Cuban 51 It may be enough 53 Item on the “Friday the 13th Part 2” poster 54 Really fast plane, for short 56 His Symphony No. 10 is unfinished 58 Horn of Africa residents 62 Suffix for Gator or Power 63 Theory discussed while doing your business?

66 Drunk’s syllable 67 Square 68 Female demon 69 Boat full of animals 70 Fred Astaire’s sister 71 Fixing one’s shoelaces

INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

IN

Down 1 Like those with alopecia 2 “Village Voice” award 3 How-to URLs 4 They may be in short supply in the winter 5 More crafty 6 Lacking bubbles 7 Canon autofocus film system 8 Windows precursor 9 It may be worth a little on a lot 10 Rose or Rozelle 11 Assistance provided while doing your business?

12 Move stealthily 13 Slumps lazily 18 Bedtime story?

22 Nothing, on scoreboards 24 Ordinary 25 “Pippi Longstocking” author Lindgren 27 “Life for Rent” pop singer 28 Word akin to “I say!”

29 Cancel payment, while doing your business?

31 Film followed up by “The Road Warrior” 32 Corked item 36 Ending for teen 37 Ferry destination from Copenhagen 39 “That’s good eatin’!!!”

42 Exclamation after plopping down on the sofa 45 How some may be for life 46 Household spray 49 Belief sys.

51 City on the Missouri 52 Lowest point 55 Do some metallurgy 57 Italian cone 58 Kind of terrier 59 When doubled, a Hawaiian massage technique 60 Victorious shout 61 Problem 64 Hoppin’ mad feeling 65 450 Answers pg. 19

The new sexual revolution

T

oday and every day 15 million people access the Internet and about 20 percent engage in some form of online sexual activity. Last week we covered online dating; this week we’ll focus on going online specifically for sex.

Sex is reported to be the most frequently searched topic. Sex therapist and researcher Al Cooper describes the “Triple A Engine” — factors that allow the Internet to be a hot spot for sexual activit y. These factors are: accessibility, affordability and anonymity.

The Internet can create or enhance positive relationships and can promote healthy romantic and sexual connections with other people.

Many people use the Internet as a way to explore their sexuality, to get sexual health information and then apply this learning to their face-to-face relationships. The Internet, as a venue to connect with others romantically and sexually, can be particularly helpful for those who have limited mobility or are geographically-isolated. Others go online for a sense of community.

Controversy around online sexual activity comes into play because the Inter net can sometimes serve as an impediment to healthy, in-person relationships. We’ l l address sex addiction in another column because many people equate online sexual behavior with compulsive sexual behavior, but there is a distinction between these two phenomenons.

The Inter net and the “Tr iple A Eng ine” with respect to sexual activity, can promote unhealthy behaviors if people become involved in erotic online encounters that interrupt their in-person relationships.

How can you tell if your sexuality is suffering from your online adventures? Consider your answers to these questions: Do you find you don’t have the energy to invest in your offline relationships as a result of your online activity?

Do you spend more time with people online than in real time? Are you hiding your activity from your real-life partner? Answering yes to these types of questions could be a sign that your online sex is having a negative impact on your interpersonal relationships.

The Internet presents millions of opportunities to hook up that were never before so accessible. For those just starting to explore certain aspects of who they are sexually, negotiating this journey in the sea of online opportunities can be overwhelming.

Seek out trustworthy sites for sexual information and screen hook up sites and potential partners to minimize any negative impact.

It’s obvious that the Internet has made sexuallyexplicit materials more accessible than they ever have been. What does this mean for a society that has historically been sexually repressed? Many are grappling with how to balance their personal values with the Internet’s permissiveness and endless supply of sexual opportunities.

B ETWEEN | CLASSIF EDS | THE STINGER

While prevailing negative attitudes toward cybersex represent legitimate concerns, most people never reach the point of problematic use.

Such attitudes oftentimes represent an attempt to suppress pornography in general by people who have more conservative morals and who adhere to the doctrine that masturbation is harmful.

Still, it is important to acknowledge that cybersex does represent a special form of pornography, which may be potentially more harmful (due to the relative ease of electronic communication) to interpersonal relationships compared to more traditional pornographic outlets.

Currently, researchers are trying to tease out the various aspects of sex online: impact on intimacy and real-time relationships, addiction, impact of pornography use, victimization, infidelity, gender differences in use and the various aspects of the negative and positive impacts of how technology affects sexuality.

BOTTOM LINE: SEXUALITY IS PART OF SOCIETY We need to find ways to integrate our sexuality and sexual learning across the board. If there were more opportunity for open, honest and accurate sex education and discussions in our schools, churches and homes, the Internet may not be used as the sole outlet for support, learning, adventure and exploration.

SEX 411 •

•

•

•

•

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Online sexual activity mostly refers to searching sexually-explicit material, pornography, cybersex or chatting with people in an effort to have “real time” sex.

There is currently not enough research to definitively conclude anything about online sexual activity and how access to sexual materials online affects negatively or positively real-life relationships.

Sex is a part of social life. As more of our social interaction goes online, it makes sense that sex will follow suit.

Most activities that happen online also happen offline, just not with as much speed, availability or accessibility.

More and more women are using the internet to explore and express their sexual selves in ways not afforded to them previously in our repressed, sexist society.

While intimacy in a very real sense can be fostered online, physical touch is an important element and can help a relationship to grow and evolve.

Kim Rice and Kate Ruin are professional sex educators. Get your sex questions answered in the Buzz by writing to riceandruin@yahoo.com sounds from the scene

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I DON’T KNOW IF I FEEL COMFORTABLE HANDING OUT BALONEY SANDWICHES IN THE BUILDING.

19

free will astrology JUN. 15 — JUN. 21 ARIES

March 21 – April 19

You will have valid reasons for unleashing vigorous critiques in the coming week. For best results, however, I suggest that you dress them up in fine language. Your complaints will be more likely to have a cathartic effect if you make them witty and even a bit florid. To get in the right mood, spend some time with the Random Shakespeare Insult Generator at http://snipurl.com/ q1kk. Here are a few, all lifted from the work of The Bard. (1) “Thou jarring motley-minded pignut!” (2) “Thou cockered beefwitted measle!” (3) “Thou unmuzzled dismal-dreaming scut!”

T A U RU S

Oct. 23 – Nov. 21

S AG I T TA R I U S

Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

AQUA R I U S

Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

Most modern religions propose that we need intermediaries-priests, priestesses, rabbis, imams, monks--to get connected to the divine source. In contrast, many ancient Gnostics believed that every person could be in charge of creating his or her own link to spirit.

Indeed, anyone might contribute fresh insights and revelations to the body of ever-evolving spiritual truths. The equivalent today would be if the Bible were regarded as an unfinished text to which every Christian or Jew could add new content. This is a perfect astrological moment for you to try out this perspective, Scorpio: the do-ityourself approach to creating your own religion. You now have the power to be your own priest, priestess, rabbi, imam, or monk.

April 20 – May 20

“Before you can do something you must first be something,” wrote Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe. That’s advice we can all profit from. Most of us have been guilty of trying to skips steps in reaching our goals, hoping to pull off feats we have not yet developed sufficient strength of character to master.

For example, there’s no way I could have been a good writer at age 19, since I had so little life experience to draw on, hadn’t learned how to cultivate my perceptiveness, and didn’t have the discipline to sit down and write every day. In the coming week, Taurus, think about whether there’s a dream you cherish but have not yet earned the right to achieve. Then decide what you’ll have to do to become more worthy.

GEMINI

SCORPIO

May 21 – June 20

Every year the National Grocers Association stages its own version of the Oscars. Among the honors it bestows is an award for Best Bagger. It goes to the person who displays the most élan while efficiently and speedily filling grocery bags with buyers’ purchases. The social status accorded the winner may pale in comparison to, say, Hollywood’s best film actress or baseball’s most valuable player, but personally I’m just as impressed with it. In fact, I think everyone in the world should be the recipient of a prize that commemorates the one thing they do better than anyone else. It happens to be an excellent time for you to go after the unique trophy you deserve, Gemini. If no organization gives it to you, make it or buy it yourself.

CANCER

June 21 – July 22

LEO

July 23 – Aug. 22

During a solar eclipse, members of some indigenous tribes in South America used to shoot burning arrows toward the heavens in the belief that they would scare away the demon that was devouring the sun. I recommend that you try this, if only in your imagination. No, there won’t be an actual eclipse happening in the literal sky in the coming week. But something like that has been going on in your psyche. It’s time to fight back with burning arrows..

According to conventional measures of success, filmmaker M. Night Shyamalan is a successful man. His movie The Sixth Sense is one of the top 25 money-makers in history, and three of his other films have grossed more than $200 million apiece worldwide. And yet he places a supreme value on reverie. “My life is about finding time to dream,” he has said.

I urge you to make that your motto, Leo. The progress of your most practical ambitions later in 2006 will depend on whether or not you spend the next few weeks tapping into information that’s available through fantasies, meditations, dreams, and other altered states.

VIRGO

Aug. 23 – Sept. 22

LIBRA

Sept. 23 – Oct.22

“The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions,” wrote pioneer psychologist Alfred Adler. If you have inflicted that danger on yourself too often in the past, Virgo, the coming weeks will be an excellent time to make amends.

According to my analysis of the astrological omens, a series of really smart risks is lining up to greet you. May you approach them with just the right blend of daring and discernment.

“If you give a person feedback you focus them for a day,” says entrepreneur George Reavis. “If you teach them how to ask for feedback you focus them for a lifetime.” I mention this, Sagittarius, because the coming weeks will be an excellent time for you to act on his advice. You have the potential to become skilled at consistently getting the exact feedback you need--the kind of constructive, respectful critique that serves as an inspiring kick in the butt.

In his biography Tallulah!: The Life and Times of a Leading Lady, Joel Lobenthal describes actress Tallulah Bankhead (1902-1968) as a reckless hedonist given to exhibitionism and affairs with hundreds of lovers. He also hints that there was a karmic payback for her excesses. It came in the form of a lengthy hysterectomy that was a last-ditch attempt to save her from the ravages of an advanced case of gonorrhea, reducing her frame to a mere seventy pounds.

Bankhead didn’t see it as karmic payback, however. Afterwards she told her doctor, “Don’t think this has taught me a lesson!” Your own imminent comeuppance won’t be even a tiny fraction of what Bankhead’s was, Capricorn. But I hope that after it has been offered, you will thankfully say, “This has taught me a valuable lesson!”

The group Reporters Without Borders evaluates how well the world’s nations respect freedom of the press. Finland, Iceland, and the Netherlands are the top three, while North Korea, Cuba, and Burma are at the bottom. Canada is ranked tenth. The U.S. is 137th (of a total 167) in terms of the press freedom that it fosters outside of its own borders, although it’s 44th in its own territory. In this spirit and in response to current astrological omens, I inventoried the freedom of expression you have carved out for yourself, Aquarius. I also appraised your skill at creating an environment in which other people feel free to express themselves to you. You’re doing great in the first category--number one in the zodiac!--but you could use some work in the second. Now is a perfect time to work harder to extend to others the spaciousness you enjoy.

PISCES

Feb. 19 – March 20

According to my analysis of the astrological omens, pleasures that appeal to the adult in you may not rouse anywhere near the excitement they usually do in the coming weeks. The best use of your time might be to leap into your second childhood.

You’d probably be wise to do things like making mud pies, rolling sideways down a grassy hill, getting your face painted, feeding a farm animal, going on a scavenger hunt, climbing trees, and creating a papier-maché monster mask.

Homework: What part of yourself are you most scared of? Is it time to give that part a peace offering? Testify at www.freewillastrology.com.

Ancient Greeks called apricot juice the nectar of the gods.

For centuries, Europeans regarded apricots as aphrodisiacs and symbols of fertility. According to old English folk tales, to dream of apricots portends good fortune. In the 21st century, however, demand for the fruit is waning. Since 1994, production has diminished by almost 50 percent in California, which grows most of America’s crop. Is there one of your skills or products whose situation resembles the apricot’s, Libra? Some fine offering you were born to provide but that the culture seems to be losing its need for? If so, meditate on whether it’s time to revise your relationship with it--perhaps by reinventing or repackaging it.

PUZZLE pg. 18 sounds from the scene

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INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

MY WHOLE LIFE WAS RUINED BECAUSE OF THE PUFFY SHIRT.

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