Buzz Magazine: June 22, 2006

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M O UN TA IN OR. . .

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URBANA SPRAWL

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LOCAL WOMEN ROCK FOR A GOOD CAUSE

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THE TONYS HIT CU


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buzz weekly

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A TWIZZLER IS NOT A SPRINKLE...A MOUNDS IS NOT A SPRINKLE...A JOLLY RANCHER IS NOT A SPRINKLE!

BUZZ STAFF volume

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no.24

Cover Design • Hank Patton Editor in chief • Todd Swiss Art Director • Brittany Bindrim Copy Chief • Alexis Terrell Listen, Hear • Leah D. Nelson Stage, Screen & in Between • Elyse Russo Around Town • Tatyana Safronova CU Calendar • Todd Swiss Photography Editor • Christina Leung Designers • Nikita Sorokin, Hank Patton Calendar Coordinator • Brian McGovern Photography • Christina Leung Copy Editors • Sarah Goebel Staff Writers • Kevin Olsen, Jeff Nelson, Jenny McCarthy, Syd Slobodnik, Jeff Gross, Kyle Gorman, Crystal Ligon Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein Sales Manager • Mark Nattier Production Manager • Rick Wiltfong Marketing/Distribution • Brandi Wills Publisher • Mary Cory

TALK TO BUZZ

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UNDER THE COVER |1-3| 3 3 3 |4-6| 4 5 |7-9| 7 8 9

INTRO This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening First Things First • Michael Coulter

AROUND TOWN Facing the sprawl • Megan Loiselle Community snapshot with Andy Borbely

LISTEN, HEAR Delve into an unknown molehill • Kevin Wombmacher Local ladies of rock • Leah D. Nelson Soundground #131 • Todd J. Hunter

| 10 - 11 |

CU CALENDAR

| 12 - 13 |

STAGE, SCREEN & IN BETWEEN

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e-mail: buzz@readbuzz.com write: 57 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820 call: 217.337.3801 We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

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A tribute to Daniel Sullivan • Rosalee Inendino Page Rage Theater reviews Movie reviews

| 14 - 18 |

CLASSIFIEDS

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THE STINGER

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Doin it Well • Kim Rice & Kate Ruin Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney Free will astrology

First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50 © Illini Media Company 2005

todd swiss EDITOR’S NOTE

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he minimum wage is a hot topic these days. Truthfully, I did not know many people who worked for minimum wage when I lived up in the suburbs of Chicago. However, when I came to the University of Illinois, the minimum wage reared its ugly head. Many jobs on and around campus pay minimum wage or just a few cents more. Sure, there is a noticeable difference in the cost of living in CU and living in the suburbs or Chicago itself. Housing is definitely cheaper here, but the distinction ends there. Food is no less expensive and gasoline certainly isn’t either. Just this week, the Republican-controlled Senate chose to vote against an increase in the minimum wage. The current minimum wage is $5.15 and has not been raised since 1997, almost 10 years ago. The Senate has voted against nine such efforts since the last wage increase. As it stands, a full-time worker making minimum wage would make less than $11,000 a year, well below our nation’s poverty line of $19,307. With inflation and the cost of living constantly increasing, I fi nd it ridiculous that senators making more than $100,000 a year with yearly wage increases approved by themselves would find it appropriate to keep millions of poor people in their fi nancial shambles. INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

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Opponents to wage increases state that a higher minimum wage would result in companies laying workers off due to the extra money spent on such laborers. This is fl awed logic and history proves the Republicans wrong. If I remember correctly, shortly after the last minimum wage increase in 1997, our economy was the best in our nation’s history, unemployment was near a record low and our government actually recorded a surplus. Ten years later, both our economy and unemployment rates are worse, and our government is sending the national deficit to soaring new heights. What it all comes down to is governmental and corporate greed. Many poor people will still vote Republican even though it is against their best fi nancial interests, and those in power know and exploit this fact. People don’t always vote according to fi nances. They often vote according to their stances on moral or social issues. The same poor people will purchase name-brand items and allow corporations to take advantage of them. As it stands, those beneath the poverty line have very little chance of crossing over. While it’s easy to place all of the blame on one side, both sides must work toward the common goal of removing poverty from our communities.

sounds from the scene


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buzz weekly •

HOW CAN SOMEONE WITH GLASSES SO THICK BE SO STUPID?

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michael coulter FIRST THINGS FIRST

Alleged Reality Watching life on television instead of seeing it in person

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here’s a certain joy in watching other people. I remember a few years ago when a crew was doing some work on the road in front of where my parents lived. Dad and a couple of his retired buddies would meet up early each morning and watch the guys lay asphalt. I’m fairly sure this was less-than-exciting for everyone involved, but for two glorious days, these retired guys had a newfound purpose in life – to critique the working skills of everyone on that highway crew. It’s a strange part of human nature, but we’ll watch pretty much anybody do pretty much anything. Sadly, it appears that TV programmers are just getting around to figuring this out, and they will now beat us over the head with it until we stop watching. It used to be that if someone was really talented or had a difficult life experience, he or she would be the focus of a 60 Minutes interview. It was sort of the original reality TV ... I mean it was real and it was on TV, so I suppose it counts. It wasn’t that the reporters taking these glimpses into other people’s lives were more reverent or skilled than people are today. It’s just that the folks they focused on were actually interesting. Ver y few people littering the reality TV highways these days are interesting. They may be psychotic, socially stunted, attractive, bitter or just a general pain in the ass, but they just aren’t especially interesting. Finding interesting people is probably pretty hard, and it might take some effort on the part of the producers. Instead, they’ve opted to take regular people (by regular, I mean seemingly normal people who will become attention whores the minute a camera is rolling) and put them in interesting situations. This works very well for a show like Survivor. All they really have to do is find an exotic location and 12 people who won’t get along. After that, they just videotape what happens, and we find it captivating enough to watch. I’m not sure how much longer that will last though. You’d think we’d eventually wise up and realize you get roughly the same voyeuristic thrill from watching random people on a street corner — without commercials. Just having regular people doesn’t suck us in as much as it used to. So now we are inundated with “talent” shows. American Idol still has a bazillion viewers, so the logic goes that if we like watching people sing,

we’ll also like watching them do something else. The perfect example of this is So You Think You Can Dance? I made it through about 12 seconds of the commercial for it and turned it off. I’ll be honest, I would have to answer “no” to their question because I really don’t think I can dance. In fact, I’m positive of it. Granted, after I’ve finished my 12th glass of Scotch at a wedding reception and a pretty girl smiles at me, I do think I can dance. I’m usually inebriated enough to believe at least I won’t embarrass myself. I am invariably wrong about this assumption. It pains me to remember myself thinking I could dance. I can’t really imagine watching someone I don’t care about thinking they can dance. I hate to blame something I love so much, but I think all of this is probably the fault of sports. That’s sort of the original reality programming. We get to sit back and watch other people doing things we can’t (or won’t) do. Hey, I’m not complaining about sports, I love watching them ... at least the big three American sports, but the others are getting a little out of hand. I turned on ESPN the other day, and they were once again showing poker. Whatever, I like playing poker. Hell, I even like watching friends play poker. Seriously, my favorite painting ever is the one of the dogs playing poker. Regardless, I don’t want to watch it on TV every freaking second of the day when there are perfectly good baseball games going untelevised. I could live with it, I suppose, but I always knew it was going to get worse, that in some way the envelope would get stretched. I want to check the score of a ball game, and they are showing a freaking domino tournament. For crapsake, this is a televised freaking sport now? It’s people playing a game of dominoes, and I’m supposed to watch? I’ll admit, I did for a few minutes, but I finally said enough’s enough. If I find this enjoyable, I’m just a few days away from calling a friend to meet me for beers because a championship Uno game is on in 10 minutes. Maybe I just miss the good old days when people struggling to find food on a desert island were called natives. And if you wanted to watch someone dance like an idiot, you went to a club. And if you wanted to watch poker, you got some beer and had a few friends over and actually played. And if you wanted to watch a game of dominoes, you went to your grandparents’ house. All that stuff seemed real to me back then. We just never called it reality.

OOPS! WE MADE A MISTAKE • Although buzz strives for accuracy, we sometimes make mistakes. If you catch something we didn’t,

please let use know at buzz@readbuzz.com. When a correction is needed, it will be listed here.

sounds from the scene

INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

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around town

CHRISTINA LEUNG • PHOTO

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Wal-Mart’s parking lot, located on High Cross Road, is filled with automobiles on a Friday afternoon.

FACING THE SPRAWL This article is part one in a two-part series about the development of land in Champaign County.

Wilmer Otto, an Arcola businessman who sold the land to Wal-Mart, said his land had been planned for development by Urbana for 25 years. It had been zoned for industrial purposes and the city later changed the zoning for less intensive, commercial purposes. Michelle Wallace, a real estate agent with Hallbeck Realty in Champaign, said land proposals for the Wal-Mart probably had been in the works for several years, and the residents of Beringer Commons should not complain about the commercial development going on around them. “They should do research if they are concerned,” Wallace said. “They should look at the covenant to see if commercial development is allowed for each parcel of land.” Urbana has been expanding because of a combination of low interest rates, local businesses in search of employees and the University of Illinois, said Russ Taylor, a broker and co-owner of Taylor RemAx Associate offices in Champaign and Mahomet. He said that about half of his clients are people new to the area.

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he first residential developers in the area chose to build their log cabins in what is now Urbana. In 1822, William Tompkins was one of the first settlers to live on the southwestern corner of the Big Grove. Slowly, others settled nearby. In 1832, Champaign County was created and the city of Urbana was named the county seat. When the railroad was built two miles west of Urbana in 1854, a community called West Urbana was informally established. The east side was upset over the new rival, but regardless, the area surrounding the railroad depot was incorporated as the city of Champaign in 1860, according to a history written by University of Illinois Associate Professor Emeritus H. George Friedman. Champaign has continued to prosper and now has a larger population than Urbana. Retail and residential development is exploding north of the Interstate, creating a much more urbanized environment. Many subdivisions are also being built past the city limits southwest of Champaign. According to the U.S. Census in 2000, 67,518 people lived in Champaign and 36,395 lived in Urbana. As Champaign expands beyond boundaries its first settlers never would have imagined, the city of Urbana is taking steps to attract more commercial and residential development. The Wal-Mart on High Cross Road and a property tax rebate program called “Build Urbana,” are both expected to spur future development in eastern Urbana. The “Build Urbana” tax rebate program was created in 2001 in order to balance the number of homes built in Champaign with those built in Urbana. The rebate refunds the difference between Champaign and Urbana city property taxes. Robert Myers, planning manager for the city of Urbana said in an e-mail interview that because Urbana property taxes are slightly higher than Champaign’s, the tax might “tip the scales for some home buyers in choosing where they live.” The program was very successful, Myers said. This success has been evidenced by the increase in the number of building permits issued, from 44 in 2000 to 83 in 2001 and to 167 in 2002. Beringer Commons, an upscale subdivision built on the corner of High Cross Road and University Avenue, illustrates the struggle to integrate commercial and residential development of prime farmland in a community. While their houses sit on retired farmland, some residents are upset that Wal-Mart was constructed on more recently farmed land.

INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

MEGAN LOISELLE • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

THE WARDS, BERINGER COMMONS Craig and Bonnie Ward and their four children, Micah, Noah, Hannah and Mariah moved into their large Beringer Commons house in August from Washington, D.C., where they had lived in a 100-year-old house for several years. The Wards’ new house, on the other hand, was built six years ago, and there are still two empty lots across the retention pond from their home. Two other houses have been built nearby within the last six months. From their back porch, the tall brick wall separating Aldi from the neighborhood and the red “Always” sign in front of the new Wal-Mart are just visible, peeking through the other houses near the front of the neighborhood. Craig said residents of Beringer Commons should have known development was coming to their area when they bought their houses. Interstate 74 runs just north of the property and he has heard a new interchange could be built on High Cross Road soon. The Wal-Mart was being built at the time the Ward family bought their house, but the Aldi store, which is located on the southeast corner of the subdivision’s property, opened after they arrived. On the day Aldi opened, Bonnie and Mariah walked down to Aldi, wheeling a canvas shopping bag to carry their groceries from the store back to their house. As they walked down the sidewalk, one of their neighbors asked where they were going. They told her they were going to shop at Aldi, IN

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to which the neighbor responded with a disgusted facial expression, “At least it’s close.” When walking to Aldi, residents have to walk on the sidewalk until it ends at the entrance of the subdivision and then walk along a sloped grassy ditch in the front of the subdivision. Craig said the family has been very happy with the prices and quality of the food they have purchased at Aldi while his problem with Wal-Mart lies more in its labor practices. Bonnie said the price of one gallon of milk just increased to $1.88 at Aldi, while other grocery stores might sell milk for $2 to $3 per gallon. Craig said the problem his neighbors have with Aldi is more because of what kind of store it is, not its location. He also said he is not aware of or concerned with the property values decreasing because of Aldi and Wal-Mart. Craig said the main reason the family chose this house was because of its size. As a staff worker at Intervarsity Christian Fellowship on campus, he hosts a dinner and discussion for international students in his home on Friday nights. They can easily fit about 50 people in the large, open basement, as well as in their kitchen and living room area upstairs. Bonnie said if they did not work with students, she would have preferred to live close to campus in Urbana, but because those homes are older, they do not have large open spaces to accommodate large groups. Also, the mold, which is sometimes present in older basements, would be a health hazard for their children with allergies. “We chose this neighborhood because of the house,” Bonnie said. “We have a larger family by today’s standards and we do a lot of entertaining.” On his way home from his work on campus, Craig takes the 5 Green bus from Green and Sixth Streets, then transfers to the new MTD bus “link” which serves Wal-Mart and stops right in front of the Beringer Commons neighborhood. Hannah takes public transportation back and forth from Urbana High School. She said she has not met too many friends in the area, but she knows there are a few her age in the neighborhood. Bonnie’s main concern is the lack of community in Beringer Commons, she said. She has met her next-door neighbors, but she hasn’t formed strong relationships with them. Bonnie said she appreciates one of her next-door neighbors who brought cupcakes over to the house and shared her phone number. “The cupcakes were nice,” Hannah said. “But why can’t other neighbors smile and say ‘hi’? It means a lot.” Bonnie said the family moved in as the weather started to cool, so as it warms up, they might see more people and have an opportunity to interact with them. THE NEWSOMES, BERINGER COMMONS When the Newsomes found out the Wal-Mart and Aldi would be built near their home, they were not happy. “We were angry and upset,” Joan Newsome said. “It was not surprising but disappointing.” Newsome does her grocery shopping at Schnucks. “I know several people that won’t go to (Aldi),” Newsome said. “The land is concreted over by a big store. It’s just sickening.” She said the tall brick wall that separates the Aldi from the rest of neighborhood was part of the deal with the contractor and the neighborhood. Many of the neighbors also did not want trucks coming through the neighborhood’s entrance or foot traffic from Aldi. Newsome said Aldi was not the type of business she had expected to be located in the five-acre corner section of the land it shares with Beringer Commons. “I was hoping for something like a restaurant,” she said. Newsome said she is concerned about the proposed highway interchange on High Cross Road. “We all fear that,” she said. The Newsomes moved back to the area recently after living in Champaign 18 years ago. “I’m very satisfied with the house,” Newsome said. “I think everyone who lived here thoroughly enjoyed the neighborhood.” She said she has no plans to move. sounds from the scene


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THE LANGS, SAVANNAH GREEN Josh Lang and his wife Laura moved to their house in Savannah Green off Florida Avenue in Urbana to live near Laura’s family. “I like that it’s more personal,� Josh Lang said. The couple met at school in Chicago, where Josh had previously relocated from Idaho. Lang said he found his current home while he and his wife were trying to find a house in their price range. “We had an idea of what we were looking for,� Lang said. A lot of the houses in their price range were older, so when they found a new home that fit their budget, Lang said “it was an easy choice to make.� Lang said there is not a lot of traffic near the neighborhood for now, but Florida Avenue will soon extend from their subdivision to High Cross Road. With easy access to the new WalMart in Urbana, Lang said he expects traffic will increase. Wilmer Otto, who sold his land to Wal-Mart, said he complimented the developer of Savannah Green for designing the subdivision to be “not so wasteful.� Lang said he is pleased with the purchase of his house because it will gain in value. “We wanted it to be an investment,� he said. THE ANDERSONS, SAVANNAH GREEN The Andersons, who are neighbors of the Langs, moved to Urbana because of the University in 2004. Ben is completing his master’s degree in engineering, and his wife, Jennifer, stays home with their toddler. “Illinois has a good engineering grad program,� Jennifer Anderson said. “Out of all the places that he applied and was accepted, this was the one place where we could afford to live without me having to work.� She said her new neighbors have moved here from across the country so they are open to meeting new people, and she said the houses are close together which encourages community. “We’ve really enjoyed it,� Anderson said. “It’s family-friendly.� Anderson said her family will have to relocate after five years because there is no industry in the area to employ her husband. She said the cost and the quality of the family’s house are the reasons they purchased it. The couple could have purchased an older, rundown home for about $10,000 less, but the new home has warranties which will last until they move out. “At the time we were looking, there was nothing better,� she said. Anderson said the development now coming into Urbana is good for the community. “A lot of people think it is more desirable to live in a place which has more industries, businesses and shops,� she said. “We like the new Wal-Mart on High Cross Road because it will bring more industry to the area.� She said while she did not necessarily like the sprawling metropolitan area around their former home in Minneapolis, “it’s important to the town that industry comes to the area, so I think that’s a good thing.� buzz On the Net: “TWIN CITIES TRACTION� by H. George Friedman: http://www-faculty. cs.uiuc.edu/~friedman/champaign-urbana/ Contents.htm sounds from the scene

buzz weekly •

I’M NORMALLY NOT A PRAYING MAN, BUT IF YOU’RE UP THERE, PLEASE SAVE ME SUPERMAN.

COMMUNITY

snapshot WITH

ANDY BORBELY

CRYSTAL LIGON • STAFF WRITER

PROVIDED BY ANDREW BORBELY • PHOTO

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Andrew Borbely paddled the entire length of the Mississippi in a Wenonah canoe last summer.

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ast summer, with the encouragement of Mark Twain’s words of wisdom, two friends canoed the Mississippi River and discovered it was the people they met that made the trip memorable. The idea of paddling the entire 2,353 miles of the Mississippi started as a joke between Andy Borbely, 27, from Catlin, Ill., and his friend Justin Hoest, from Neenah, Wis. They met in an environmental non-profit job and were roommates. In 2004, after two years of back-and-forth banter claiming they were going to canoe the Mississippi but never putting the claim to action, Hoest sent Borbely an e-mail that pushed the men to follow through. The only words in the e-mail quoted Mark Twain: “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.� Borbely said that these words made the trip a reality and the two men officially planned the trip for the summer of 2005. “We said before we get to a spot in our lives where we have wives and kids and jobs and law school and all these different things we just need to cut loose and go on some big, grand adventure,� Borbely said. “And one of us threw it out there that we should do the Mississippi River.� Borbely said they didn’t choose the Mississippi for its “pristine, untouched waterway,� but because “it is everything an American river can be. “It starts out wild and scenic, and then it flows through little towns, then large cities. It becomes a commercial waterway, a virtual highway of barges and commercial boats. It gets downright industrial between Baton Rouge and New Orleans, to the point that almost all one sees from the river are petrochemical refi neries and other industrial development. But then it ends in the great Gulf of Mexico, gently transitioning back to the delta, then to the sea.� Borbely and his canoeing partner, Hoest, spent 74 days on the Mississippi River. They started at

Lake Itasca in northern Minnesota, which is the source for the mighty Mississippi, and paddled down to the Gulf of Mexico, past “Mile 0,� the name of the river’s border. To ensure they canoed every inch of the Mississippi, they placed markers at each resting point and would march up river about 10 feet each morning to start the next day of canoeing. “We encountered some pretty oppressively cold conditions up in Minnesota and then, some pretty oppressively hot conditions down in Vicksburg, Miss.,� Borbely said. “We actually were paddling on a day that had a heat index of 120 degrees in the shade, and we were paddling in the middle of the river with no shade whatsoever.� What made this situation worse was they ran out of water 20 miles ahead of Vicksburg, which was their next stopping point, making the situation more painful. The men camped alongside the Mississippi on the levees, islands and sandbars. Their food consisted of freeze-dried baggies boiled over a camping stove, and their shelter was a tent. Mosquitoes overwhelmed them, and extreme temperatures challenged them, but the two men got through. “I think the biggest lesson I learned is that while there may be a thousand excuses to abandon a task, hard work and dedication will always get the job done,� Borberly said. “We had people from Minnesota tell us that black clouds of mosquitoes would eat us alive and that we wouldn’t make it to Minneapolis or St. Paul. Well, we got devoured by mosquitoes and it didn’t stop us. Sure there were plenty of contingencies to prepare for, but none of them were insurmountable.� What surprised Borbely was the generosity and kindness he and his paddling partner received from different people. “I could name you 50 people that we met that were just tremendous,� Borbely said. “We expected if you meet 100 friendly people you’re bound to meet a couple of unfriendly people who might want to be reckless and throw our boat into the water while we’re sleeping. That was the biggest concern, the biggest worry and it never happened. Not once.� From a 300-pound, Harley-riding Baptist minister to a sweet family living off the mighty Mississippi to the friends and support he gained at the Champaign Surplus store in Champaign, Borbely said the people and the hospitality offered to him surprised him. Some opened their doors and offered them their showers. One family gave them a bottle of wine to drink by the Mississippi. Some gave money, words of encouragement, hot dogs, sandwiches and beer. “We had more people throw us cans of beer than I can even recount,� Borberly said. “We would actually have cans of warm beer in the bottom of the boat, just because we got so much beer on any given day that we didn’t want to drink it. But the kindness of people was absolutely tremendous.� They started their trip May 21, 2005, and fi nished Aug. 2, 2005, about a month before Hurricane Katrina hit Louisiana. “Louisiana will always have a special place in my heart for that reason,� Borbely said. “We were probably some of the last people to see it that way. We felt really fortunate to actually see those places before that happened. It marked the tone.�

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Advance Tickets for Superman Returns are now available WAIST DEEP (R) Fri. 1:10 3:20 5:30 7:45 10:00 12:10 Sat. 11:00 1:10 3:20 5:30 7:45 10:00 12:10 - Thu. 1:10 3:20 5:30 7:45 10:00 Sun. X-MEN: THE LAST STAND (PG–13) Fri. 12:30 1:30 3:00 4:00 5:25 7:00 7:50 9:30 10:15 11:45 Sat. 11:00 12:30 1:30 3:00 4:00 5:25 7:00 7:50 9:30 10:15 11:45 Sun. - Thu. 12:30 1:30 3:00 4:00 5:25 7:00 7:50 9:30 10:15 THE DA VINCI CODE (PG–13) Fri. 2:00 5:00 8:00 11:00 11:00 2:00 5:00 8:00 11:00 Sat. Sun. - Thu. 2:00 5:00 8:00 OVER THE HEDGE (PG) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:00 Sat. 11:00 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:00 CLICK (PG–13) Fri. 1:00 1:30 1:55 3:25 4:15 4:45 5:50 7:00 7:30 8:15 9:30 9:55 10:40 12:00 Sat. 11:00 1:00 1:30 1:55 3:25 4:15 4:45 5:50 7:00 7:30 8:15 9:30 9:55 10:40 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 1:30 1:55 3:25 4:15 4:45 5:50 7:00 7:30 8:15 9:30 9:55 LAKE HOUSE (PG) Fri. & Sat. 12:40 3:00 5:15 7:30 9:50 12:15 THE - Thu. 12:40 3:00 5:15 7:30 9:50 Sun. THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS: TOKYO DRIFT (PG–13) Fri. 12:30 1:45 2:55 4:15 5:20 7:00 7:45 9:30 10:10 12:00 Sat. 11:00 12:30 1:45 2:55 4:15 5:20 7:00 7:45 9:30 10:10 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 12:30 1:45 2:55 4:15 5:20 7:00 7:45 9:30 10:10 NACHO LIBRE (PG) Fri. & Sat. 12:50 3:10 5:20 7:40 10:00 12:05 Sun. - Thu. 12:50 3:10 5:20 7:40 10:00 GARFIELD: A TAIL OF TWO KITTIES (PG) Fri. & Sat. 12:35 2:40 4:45 7:00 9:20 11:30 Sun. - Thu. 12:35 2:40 4:45 7:00 9:20 CARS (G) Fri. & Sat. 12:00 12:30 12:55 2:30 3:00 3:25 5:00 5:30 5:55 7:30 8:00 8:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 Sun. - Thu. 12:00 12:30 12:55 2:30 3:00 3:25 5:00 5:30 5:55 7:30 8:00 8:30 10:00 THE OMEN (R) Fri. & Sat. 9:10 11:40 Sun. - Thu. 9:10 THE BREAK-UP (PG–13) Fri. 12:00 1:30 2:30 4:00 5:00 7:00 7:30 9:30 10:00 12:00 Sat. 11:00 12:00 1:30 2:30 4:00 5:00 7:00 7:30 9:30 10:00 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 12:00 1:30 2:30 4:00 5:00 7:00 7:30 9:30 10:00

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WHETHER THEY FIND A LIFE THERE OR NOT, I THINK JUPITER SHOULD BE CALLED AN ENEMY PLANET.

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“It is a strange study, a singular phenomenon, if you please, that the only real, independent and genuine gentlemen in the world go quietly up and down the Mississippi River, asking no homage of anyone, seeking no popularity, no notoriety, and not caring a damn whether school keeps or not.” – Mark Twain W h i le in Ven ice, La., a man who r uns a commercial fishing boat operation gave Borbely and Hoest a tour. He explained what may happen if a huge hurricane hit. Borbely said he sti l l gets chi l ls remember ing what the man said. “He said to me, ‘The Gulf of Mexico is getting closer and closer to New Orleans every year, and the way life works down here is every time it rains it seems like we lose land. Every time a hurricane blows through we lose a couple of buildings, and if the big one ever hits, this place is off the map.’” About three weeks later, Hurricane Katrina blew through. Borbely and Hoest were met in Venice by a friend, Aaron Biles, who lived in Louisiana. Borbely’s girlfriend then drove down and picked the two men up and returned them to Champaign. Borbely currently works at a bar in Urbana and hopes to one day own his own restaurant. But would he canoe the might y Mississippi again? Borbely, without hesitation, said, “I’d do it again in a minute. It was awesome.”

PROVIDED BY ANDREW BORBELY • PHOTO

FACING THE SPRAWL CONTINUED FROM PG. 5

A photo of Andrew Borbely from his 2005 summer adventure on the Mississippi River. Borbely paddled the entire length of the Mississippi, from its source in Minnesota to its mouth at the Gulf of Mexico, in a Wenonah canoe.

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DELVE INT

AN UNKN WN M LEHILL

KEVIN WOMBACHER • STAFF WRITER

sounds from the scene

PHOTO COURTESY OF MOLEHILL

M

olehill isn’t part of the “in-crowd.” But that doesn’t stop them from attracting capacity crowds at their shows. This Champaign-based trio is the best local band no one has heard of. Molehill has existed in one form or another for two years but has only begun to come into their own in the last year. Molehill’s two original members Peter Manhart and Drew Russell, met through a Jazz combo and several music classes. With Manhart providing guitar and vocals, and Russell on drums, the band had a good start but still lacked a consistent presence on bass guitar. Their revolving door of bass players often forced the band to find someone at the last minute and teach them the songs the day of the show. For one show, the band was without a bass and had to resort to trying to steal one from a former bass player who had left the band after playing a few shows. Without a dependable third member, the band’s live shows suffered. Last sum mer, Moleh i l l fina l ly found its th ird member. John Supple had been on drum line with Russell and known him several years before being introduced to Manhart and joining the trio. Since Supple’s a r r iva l, t he ba nd h a s honed it s sou nd and cont inued to get bettter and beter. With a consistent bassist, the band’s live shows have also improved dramatically. After going through names such as “The Slam Dunks,” “The Tomahawk Jams,” “Session” and “Bulls vs. Blazers,” they settled on Molehill. The name was Left to right: Peter Manhart, John Supple, Drew Russel fitting for a band struggling for recognition. “People get a bad impression before they hear us,” Manhart explained. “We’re not really hyped up; we’re just see Peter, and you might change your mind about that person,” a molehill.” Supple said about the band’s improvised live solos. Molehill is Molehill’s influences are an eclectic mix that includes also proud of its interaction with the crowd. Spoon, Jimi Hendrix, The Grateful Dead, and Coheed and “I’m proudly going to cuss out the crowd,” Manhart said. Cambr ia. The band descr ibes their sound as “Jeans and Molehill’s interaction with the crowd is anything but average. T-Shirt Rock and Roll.” At a show played on Mom’s weekend, the band dared a Mom With songs that range from reserved to manic in nature, in the crowd to chug a beer and then berated her after she it becomes a difficult task to accurately compare Molehill failed to chug her entire beer. At another show, Manhart had to any single band. At a recent show, one audience member a competition with the crowd to see who could yell “fuck compared the band to a cross between Jack Johnson, Radiohead you” the loudest. and Modest Mouse. Even after filling Cowboy Monkey to capacity for their Audience members can expect a high-energy, no-frills live last couple shows, Molehill remains relatively unknown. The show packed full of solos, stage seizures and crowd interaction. band blames this on the fact that they always play off-campus “If you think you know someone who can solo on guitar, come at Cowboy Monkey and that they “don’t sound like Fall Out

Boy.” Without the word-of-mouth buzz and press coverage that comes with being a part of the “in-crowd,” Molehill has dwelled in relative obscurity. Molehill has plans to change all of that. According to Supple, “World domination starts in Chicago.” After moving north, the band will continue to play regular shows in Champaign-Urbana, while attempting to get signed in Chicago. Getting signed would give the band the connections needed to go on tour, something that they have been unable to do so far. For now, Molehill will continue to play shows in the Champaign-Urbana area. Their next show is Saturday, June 24, at Cowboy Monkey. They will be playing with experimental rock fusion jam band Soap. Cover is $5 and the show starts at 9:30 p.m. Molehill will take the stage sometime around midnight. buzz

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WHAT’S ANOTHER WORD FOR THESAURUS?

LOCAL LADIES OF ROCK

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[ PARASOL TOP TEN ]

G. Lee, Kayla Brown and Triple Whip will perform at the Campus Women’s Music Series Kick-off June 24

1. THE CORAL SEA Volcano And Heart Hidden Agenda

2. DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH Play to My Own Tune

LEAH D. NELSON • LISTEN, HEAR EDITOR

Gravitation

O

3. MOJAVE 3 Puzzles Like You

n a recent evening at the patio behind Aroma Cafe, three local musicans sat over lots of laughter, frozen lattes and bright green Italian sodas to talk about being female in the music business. The women in question, Kayla Brown (also known as DJ Lil’ Big Bass,) Jane Boxall and Holly Rushakoff, of the bass and drum duo Triple Whip, are performing this weekend at the Campus Women’s Music Series Kick-off event, along with G. Lee, at the Independent Media Center. “I don’t mind aligning myself with positive events that are, like, showcasing women in rock,� said Holly Rushakoff, bassist for Triple Whip, when asked about the kick-off event, which will benefit the Center for Women in Transition. Gloria Roubal, known to the local music community as singer/songwriter G. Lee, did not attend the gab session, but said that she likes playing shows with other women. “I always feel a real sense of bonding when I play with other women,� Roubal said, adding that it’s not a preference, just a different experience.

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5. SKYWRITER Where Both Worlds Never Meet Iceberg/Wild Mood

6. EL PERRO DEL MAR S/T (International Version) Memphis Industries

7. THE LANCASTER ORCHESTRA With H elp From Absent Friends Nonofon

8. THE CHARADE A Real Life Drama Skipping Stones

9. THE 1900S Plume Delivery Parasol PHOTO COURTESY G. LEE

4AD

4. CAMERA OBSCURA Let’s Get Out Of This Country

10. SIX ORGANS OF ADMITTANCE Sun Awakens Drag Ciy

G. Lee Rushakoff said that she rarely thinks about her gender while she works. “I’m not thinking of my femininity while I’m writing,� she said. “I would say that a plus, or a selling point, for our band is that it’s a drum and bass instrumental duo. I wouldn’t have necessarily have thrown ‘female’ in there.� “Although, people definitely notice that,� said Triple Whip drummer Jane Boxall, giggling. “I mean, you can’t get away from that.� Brown’s solo CD comes out in August, and she said that being a DJ is a little weird as woman, especially the style of drum and bass that she spins. “Drum and bass ... is like, a really dark and scary kind of music, and it’s really kind of an acquired taste,� Brown said. Triple Whip recorded three new songs in late March, songs described by Rushkoff as “our ammo to go towards a full-length CD.� They hope to record additional songs soon, to add fuel to the UK press the band has had recently. “UK domination, more like,� said Boxall, l au g h i n g. She bel ieve s t h at a com mon misconception about a female artist is the Riot Grrl, shouting punk band persona. Box a l l, who g rew up i n Eng l a nd a nd Scot l a nd , i s cu r rent ly i n t he percus sion doctorate program at the U of I, with a focus on the marimba. She recently published an article about local female rock musicians for Innocent Words magazine.

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“People hearing us on the radio, they’re not going to know if it’s ladies or dudes playing,� Boxall said. “And to some degree I feel like I don’t want to ghettoize myself as a female musician, you know. I just want to play the drums as well as any dude can. “But it’s also true that being a female musician, as much as it can be a hindrance with people’s perception of you, it’s also a great help because it’s still pretty unusual, and I know that I’ve got gigs that I wouldn’t have got if I was a guy,� Boxall said. Brown said that, while she doesn’t feel like a “chick with a guitar,� she understands that being a female musician is often seen as unique. “To other people who don’t play, they would see that it’s kind of a special thing because it’s not something that we’re really taught growing up,� Brown said. “It’s like, you know, the brother got the drum kit and I got, like, I don’t know, a cooking kit or a knitting kit or something.� “Even my first drum teacher said, ‘I don’t think girls should play kit because I don’t like them sitting with their legs apart,’� Boxall said. “He was an awesome Kayla Brown

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percussionist and a really good teacher, but he was old school and didn’t think it was appropriate for young ladies.� The Campus Women’s Music Series Kick-off is Saturday, June 24, at the Independent Media Center in downtown Urbana, with a suggested donation of $5 to support the Center for Women in Transition. Kelly Applegate organized the show and hopes it will eventually become a monthly concert series. The show is for all ages, and refreshments will be served at 7 p.m. with a talk from the performers. Live, local music starts at 8 p.m.

PHOTO COURTESY KAYLA BROWN

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sounds from the scene


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soundground #131 THIS WEEK IN MUSIC

Aug. 11-13, Fat City Saloon will host a three-day reunion for the 40th anniversar y of Red Lion Inn. Aug. 12 will accommodate an allday concert, and Aug. 13 will wrap up with a “Super Jam Session.â€? Red Lion Inn stood at 3rd and Green in Champaign and hosted a who’s who of local talent, as well as acts all the way from Iron Butterfly to Jawbreaker. Anyone who played at Red Lion Inn is invited to contact smc_3@yahoo.com for a first come, first served slot on the schedule. In addition, it appears The Vertebrats will play twice Sept. 16: an allages afternoon performance for the dedication of the Illini Media Company building, and again that night. Set lists and rehearsal schedules are already underway. June 30, WPGU-buzz Local Music Awards Best New Artist nominee Bailey issues its nine-song debut, the title of which is +. It was recorded and mixed by Brett Sanderson at Second Story and mastered by Jonathan Pines at Private Studios. The first 200 copies will be self-released in Digipak; future copies will be re-released on a label to be announced. The record release is at Caffè Paradiso. Also on the bill are two Decatur bands: The Midwest Hackers and Digital Emotion. Show time is 7 p.m., and admission is free for all ages. The next Bailey concert event is Great Performers of Illinois, Sept. 7 at Millennium Park in Chicago. Bailey is Nathan Hanley with Jessica Evans. June 16, industrial quintet i:scintilla announced details of Havestar, its EP due worldwide Aug.18 through Belgian label Alfa Matrix. Havestar consists of nine tracks: four songs from self-released debut The Approach, completely re-recorded by Wade Alin, and five remixes of those songs by

Corrections

June 9, Independent Media Center did not host Imaginary Numbers (Chandler, Arizona) and Kid Icarus (Kailua-Kona, Hawai’i). The other Imaginary Numbers is a one-man multiinstr umentalist project from Urbana. The other Kid Icarus is a psychedelic-pop quintet (Scranton, Pennsylvania) together 10 years; founder Eric Schlittler appeared solo. Dave Witzany hosts “We’re Only in It for the Music,� not “We’re Only in It for the Money.� It spot l ig ht s “who’s pl ay i ng loca l ly a nd regionally� and airs every Friday at 6 p.m. on WEFT 90.1 FM. Todd J. Hunter hosts WEFT Sessions and Champaign Local 901, two hours of local music every Monday at 10 p.m. on WEFT 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com. Support your scene to preserve your scene.

moment of the week

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KYLE B. GORMAN • STAFF WRITER

sounds from the scene

Alfa Matrix colleagues and Combichrist. A short tour Aug. 7-13 with Mankind Is Obsolete will commence in St. Louis and conclude in Chicago. Tuesday, Aug. 11, at Cowboy Monkey was affirmed as the record release. Monday, Joni Laurence announced the title and Champaign-Urbana release date for her live album. July 1, With No Apology goes on sale at Wind Water & Light, her exclusive distributor here. The art gallery and gift shop co-sponsored her recording concert Feb. 18 at Unitarian Universalist Church. Matt Stewart, Jeff Magby, Josh Walden and Ryan Groff were her backing band. Saturday at Brass Rail, The Chemicals open for The Beauty Shop and Terminus Victor. This show will be loud and crowded, and Terminus Victor will debut the song “Cue the Disclaimer.� Show time is 9 p.m., and cover is $3.

WHAT THE HELL?!

rent Reznor is going hip-hop, it seems. His green eyes will be spending a lot of time behind studio glass, if all goes well; he’s signed up to produce the newest record from intense beat poet/MC Saul Williams. Not only that, he’ll also make a guest appearance on the new record from El-P. The white-hatted Company Flow-er will also host adorable-haired neo-proggers The Mars Volta on the new LP (ha!), I’ll Sleep When You’re Dead. Wrapping up Reznor news, Dillinger Escape Plan cover Nine Inch Nail’s “Wish� on an iTunes Music Store-only cover EP, which also features the Da’ Plan tackling the Neptune’s workout plan for Justin Timberlake, “Like I Love You�. But you really can’t have a column like this without Jay-Z. Jigga is up in arms after

9

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TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

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IMAGINE HOW PHONES WOULD LOOK IF YOUR MOUTH WAS NOWHERE NEAR YOUR EARS.

an interview in The Economist with Frederic Rouzaud, managing director of Louis Roederer, makers of the popular Cristal Champagne. The bottles, which sell for upwards of $400 at Jay-Z’s own chain of 40/40 Clubs, regularly fill the grails (or as we like to call them, crunk cups) of the best in the hip-hop work. Rouzaud said he viewed rapper’s interest in his highend product with “curiosity and serenity� and casually suggested they consider taking their business elsewhere. And that’s just what Jay-Z is doing, replacing Cristal with Dom Perignon and Krug and suggesting his compatriots boycott Roederer. I’m not sure what’s more interesting, the Cristal boycott or the fact that The King Of New York reads The Economist. Don’t worry, Jazzy, I’m boycotting Cristal, too.

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Send your 15 song “dream playlist� to WPGU by Sunday, July 2nd at midnight and YOU could win your own show on WPGU 107.1! The WPGU staff will pick the contestant with the most amazing playlist and announce the winner live on-air Wednesday, July 5th at 5 pm. The winner gets a one-hour special airshift on WPGU during the week of July 10th to rock the with their music! Plus, we’ll record the shift for posterity and present our lucky winner with a commemorative CD! No purchase necessary, For contest rules, visit WPGU.com

Illini Apple Center

Yellow

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TAKING A CUE FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY, EVENTS OF HIGH PRIORITY HAVE BEEN LABELED IN ORANGE.

Terminus Victor The Beauty Shop The Chemicals

Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 JAB Johnny’s Bar & Grill 9pm, $3 The Brat Pack Tommy G’s 9:30pm, cover Will Rogers Band Neil St. Pub, 10pm, cover Quadremedy, Bartholomew, Brother Embassy Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 Alma Afrobeat Ensemble, Frequency Below Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5

June 24, 9 p.m. The Brass Rail, $3

DJ DJ Elise Boltini, 6pm, free DJ Bozak Soma, 8pm, free DJ LNO Nargile, 9pm, free before 10pm DJ Who Joe’s Brewery, 10pm cover DJ Tim Williams Highdive 10pm, $5 DJ Mertz Boltini, 10:30pm, free

Many concepts and perceptions are formulated in the young impressionable years of childhood. First-graders are like sponges with a propensity for cartoons and skinning knees, soaking up everything they hear and see. At this time in my life is when I developed my personal vision of what college was like. As I grew older, the image remained and stayed until I entered it myself. For some reason, college was always stuck in the early ’90s. Brown-haired students had floppy mushroom cuts and big flannels. Girls wore really high jeans and had obtrusive bangs. Everyone wore work boots and listened to either a) Pavement b) Jackopierce or, if you were jumping on the rapidly catching fad of rhythmic speaking over beats, c) De La Soul. No doubt a product of watching Boy Meets World excessively, I still maintained a belief that college students should tie their flannels around their waists and turn their adjustable baseball hats backward while playing Frisbee.

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke The Brickhouse, 9pm, free Festivals Taste of Champaign-Urbana [More than 25 local restaurants to select from plus live music and a children entertainment tent] West Side Park, 5pm, free

Crushed I was. Devastated I was. Goucho pants!? Sandblasted Jeans?! Ying Yang Twins!? Nothing was what it should be, BUT NOT ANYMORE! The Chemicals are here to save the day. The Chemicals embody everything great about that time period in their music. Like Pavement and Sonic Youth before them, the group molds musical landscapes from fuzz and stumbling riffs and rhythms. Pop melodies are delivered more like rants with an equally staggering narration from the lead guitar singing backup. The Chemicals, formed in 2004, have played countless shows around CU. They capture the sound and atmosphere of the brilliant music of more than a decade ago. Not a throwback, not a tribute, they naturally do their thing with great similarities to some of the greatest acts in recent years.

SAT. JUN 24

The Chemicals will play at the Brass Rail on June 24 with body rawking Terminus Victor and the always entertaining Beauty Shop at 9 p.m. Don’t forgot to pick each band’s cassette to blast out of your Ford Focus. —Brian McGovern

THU. JUN 22 Live Bands Kristi Kjeldsen and Dave Burdick Aroma Cafe, 8pm, free Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern 9pm, free Shooter Jennings, Deadstring Brothers Highdive, 9pm, $15 Adam Wolfe Tommy G’s, 9pm cover Will Rogers Band Neil St. Pub, 10pm, cover Live Karaoke Band Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 Noah Harris, Steve Uchereck Iron Post, 10pm, $3 Shovelwrack White Horse Inn, 10:30pm, free DJ Zen Thursday’s: DJ Asiatic Soma, 9pm, free DJ Dance Party Canopy Club 9pm, cover DJ Huggy Joe’s Brewery 10pm, cover Metal Thursday Highdive 10pm, cover DJ Limbs Boltini, 10:30pm, free

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Radmaker’s Billiard and Sports Bar, 7pm, free Boneyard Karaoke Memphis on Main, 7:30pm, free Karaoke Fat City Saloon 8pm, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Jillian’s, 9pm, free Liquid Courage Karaoke The Office, 10pm, free Lectures / Discussions Border Crossers Discussion Group [The Border Crossers Discussion Group (exploring the works of international authors) will be discussing the book A Year of Living Dangerously by Australian Author Christopher Koch] Borders, 7pm, free Miscellaneous WPGU 107.1 Be the DJ Byra Insurance, 3pm, free Krannert Uncorked Krannert Center, 5pm, free

FRI. JUN 23 Live Bands Billy Galt Blues Barbecue 11:30am, free The Brat Pack West Side Park, 5pm, free Big Grove Zydeco West Side Park, 5pm, free Boneyard Jazz Quintet Iron Post, 5pm, free New Orleans Jazz Machine Cowboy Monkey, 5:30pm free Keith and Kathy Harden Alto Vineyards, 6pm, $3 Bruiser and the Virtues West Side Park, 6:30pm, free The Boat Drunks West Side Park, 7:30pm, free Traction Station Hustlers Fat City Saloon, 8pm, cover Prairie Dogs Hubers, 8pm, free As One West Side Park 8pm, free Mother Popcorn Iron Post 8:30pm, $3 Candy Foster and Shades of Blue Memphis on Main 8:30pm, $4

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Live Bands Hooligans West Side Park 11:30am, free The Jammies West Side Park 12pm, free Keith Harden West Side Park 12pm, free New Orleans Jazz Machine West Side Park, 1:30pm, free Hurricane Gumbo West Side Park, 2pm, free Painkillers West Side Park 3pm, free Will Rogers Band West Side Park, 4:30pm, free Unfinished Buisness Band West Side Park, 4:30pm, free Deaden, Chainsaw Massacre, Solidification Highdive 6pm, $5 Desafinado West Side Park 6pm, free Jammsammich West Side Park, 7pm, free Blue Deacons Alto Vineyards 7:30pm, $3 Kilborn Alley West Side Park 7:30pm, free Hurricane Gumbo Fat City Saloon, 8pm, cover Keith Harden Hubers, 8pm, free Groovatron, Chicago Farmer Canopy Club, 8pm, $5 Community/Campus Women’s Music Series, Concert I: G. Lee, Kayla Brown, Triple Whip Independent Media Center 8pm, cover Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Quadremedy Johnny’s Bar & Grill, 9pm, $3 Terminus Victor, The Beauty Shop, The Chemicals Brass Rail, 9pm, $3

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Staci Anderson Iron Post 9pm, cover Molehill, Soap Cowboy Monkey, 9:30pm, $5 Nuthin’ Fancy Tommy G’s 9:30pm, cover Will Rogers Band Neil St. Pub, 10pm, cover Concerts Music in Nature Concert: Big Grove Zydeco, Holly Homes Allerton Park, 5pm, $5 DJ DJ Bozak Soma, 8pm, cover DJ White Horse Inn 9:30pm, free DJ Naughty Boy Joe’s Brewery, 10pm, cover DJ Tim Williams Highdive 10pm, $5 DJ Elise Boltini, 10:30pm, free Karaoke “G” Force Karaoke American Legion Post 71, 8pm, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s 9pm, free Festivals Taste of Champaign-Urbana [More than 25 local restaurants to select from plus live music and a children entertainment tent] West Side Park, 11am, free

SUN. JUN 25 Live Bands Cattle Bandits West Side Park, 12:30pm, free Sons & Daughters West Side Park, 12:30pm, free Lucky Boys Confusion Borders 2pm, free Pocket Big Band West Side Park, 2pm, free Captain Rat & the Blind Rivets West Side Park, 3pm, free Southern Cross West Side Park, 3:30pm, free The Urbana Backyard BBQ Party Band Iron Post, 7pm, cover Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free DJ sOUL tREE: DJ LNO Nargile 9pm, free before 10pm Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s 9pm, free Festivals Taste of Champaign-Urbana [More than 25 local restaurants to select from plus live music and a children entertainment tent] West Side Park, 12pm, free

MON. JUN 26 Live Bands Fuedin’ Hillbillies Rose Bowl Tavern, 6pm, free MRS Trio Iron Post, 6pm cover Michael Davis Bentley’s Pub 7pm, free Open Mic Night Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Finga Lickin The Office 10:30pm, free DJ Jazz Mondays Nargile, 8pm, free DJ Delayney Barfly, 10pm, free Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke The Brickhouse, 9pm, free

TUE. JUN 27 Live Bands Billy Galt Blues Barbecue 11:30am, free Burlesque-A-Pades Highdive 7pm, $12 Spoken Word / Open Mic Nargile, 9pm, free Keith Harden, John Pennell Iron Post, 9pm, $3 Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, cover Larry Gates and Jesse Greenlee White Horse Inn, 9:45pm, free DJ Subversion: DJ Evily, DJ Twinscin Highdive, 10pm, $2 DJ Hoff, DJ Bambino Mike N Molly’s, 10pm, cover DJ Tremblin BG Barfly, 10pm, free DJ J-Phlip Boltini, 10:30pm, free Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s 9pm, free

Lectures / Discussions Adelante! Reading Group [“Transistor Radio” by Chris Bohjalian] Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free

WED. JUN 28 Live Bands Grass Roots Revival Wheatland Park, 6:30pm, free Irish Traditional Music Session Bentley’s Pub, 7pm, free Keith Harden The Friendly Tavern, 7pm, cover Kayla Brown and Mike Ingram Silvercreek, 7pm, free Jazz Sandwich Iron Post 7pm, $3 Blanketarms, Heartwarmer, Super Famicom, Redbear Red Herring Coffee House 7:30pm, $5 Lorenzo Goetz Canopy Club 8pm, free Adam Wolfe Fat City Saloon 9pm, free

Fuedin’ Hillbillies Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free N.D.M.O Tommy G’s, 9pm, cover Soultro Joe’s Brewery 10pm, cover Concerts Concerts in the park: JamNation Mullikin Park, 6:30pm, free DJ Welcome Back Wednesdays: DJ LNO Nargile, 8pm, cover DJ Stifler Highdive, 8pm, $5 Chef Ra Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Bozak Boltini, 10:30pm, free

THIS WEEK AT

Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 8-10:30pm, free Salsa Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 10:30pm, $3 Karaoke Karaoke White Horse Inn 9:30pm, free Visit www.cucalendar.com for the most current events and to add your own.

art & theater Pour la Victoire: French Posters and Photographs of the Great War [Graphically charged, lushly colored lithographic posters from World War I vividly depict the place of women in the war effort, the need for personal sacrifice on the home front and the position of French colonial subjects.] Krannert Art Museum through July 30 Designing Experiences: How Graphic and Industrial Design Shape Daily Life [This exhibition profiles everyday products and solutions to visual communication problems created by UIUC Graphic and Industrial Design Alumni, and includes information about the designers, the design process and the history of the products.] Krannert Art Museum through July 30 CALCUL*RT [Features an array of media exploring the boundaries between mathematics and art, from the 3D wonders of the CANVAS, which displays new mathdriven processes to Internet-driven art pieces developed by collaborations between Mathematics, Art +Design, and English departments, to art works featuring holographic images by Ellen Sandor, and Donna Cox of the NCSA, as well as a variety of sculptures, created using everything from mathematics to computer-generated 3-D imaging to old-fashioned wood.] Krannert Art Museum through July 30 Acrylic Self Portraits [Champaign Centennial High School Painting class exhibit] Pages For All Ages through June 30 Smithsonian Institution’s Between Fences Exhibit [This exhibit explores the importance of the fence and boundaries, both real and imagined, in the development of the U.S.] Early American Museum through July 4 Reflections: Traces of Nature [Works by Cheryl Holz, Mary Burke, Anne Hughes, Maureen Bardusk, and Kathy Weaver] Verde Gallery through July 29

K R A N N E RT C E N T E R F O R T H E P E R F O R M I N G A RT S

FEATURED EVENTS

Parallel Play [Show of paintings by Laurie Weller and etching/monoprints by Gary Washmon of Denton, Texas.] Cinema Gallery through July 8 Einstein and the Polar Bear [Novelist Bill Allenson has escaped from heartbreak and writer’s block to a cluttered used bookstore in the New England countryside where he and his father have joined the feisty residents of Spider Lake. When a ‘beautiful bibliophile’ shows up amid a February blizzard, Bill confronts his deep-seated cynicism, a polar bear and a mystery involving Einstein as this romantic comedy unfolds.] Krannert Center’s Studio Theatre, June 24, 8 p.m., $18

Summer Studio Theatre Company June 16-July 30 Rotating repertory theatre that brings you romance, intrigue, and suspense is the hallmark of each Summer Studio Theatre Company season. The intriguing Einstein and the Polar Bear by Tom Griffin and the Pulitzer Prize-winning, Thornton Wilder classic The Matchmaker offer up this season’s romance, while suspense prevails in Richard Harris’ Dead Guilty. Tuesday-Saturday: $18 / SC & Stu $15 / UI $10 Sunday: $15 / SC & Stu $12 / UI $10 Summer Jazz Festival 2006 June 29 and 30 at 7:30pm The U of I Concert Jazz Band and Studio Orchestra open the Summer Jazz Festival with the songs of George Gershwin and Harold Arlen. Nelson Riddle arranged many of Gershwin’s songs for Ella Fitzgerald, who recorded them between 1957-1959; these are the arrangements Lisanne Lyons will sing. The Harold Arlen tunes she will present have been arranged by Chip McNeill and others. $12 / SC 10 / Stu 7

Experience Krannert Center to the fullest all summer Th Jun 22

Su Jun 25

Intermezzo café

Krannert Uncorked 5pm, free

Dead Guilty 7pm, $10-$15

The Matchmaker 7:30pm, $10-$18

Tu Jun 27

Fr Jun 23

Dead Guilty 7:30pm, $10-$18

The Matchmaker 7:30pm, $10-$18

Intermezzo serves fresh-baked breakfast goods light and healthy lunches and dinners, vegetarian and nonvegetarian fare, decadent dessert treats, and Krannert Blends coffee. Intermezzo is open 7:30am to 3:30pm on nonperformance weekdays, 7:30am continuously through weekday performances, and on weekends from 90 minutes before until after performances. 217/333-8412

We Jun 28

Sa Jun 24

The Matchmaker 7:30pm, $10-$18

Illinois Summer Youth Music 11am, free Einstein and the Polar Bear 8pm, $10-$18

Dead Guilty [When John Haddrell dies at the wheel of his car from a heart attack, the woman beside him is not his wife, Margaret, but graphic designer Julia Darrow. Now homebound as she recovers from serious injury and acute depression, Julia copes with her injuries by allowing the dead man’s widow to visit her. Events turn sinister as a series of strange coincidences isolate Julia from all others in her life.] Krannert Center’s Studio Theatre, June 25, 27 7 p.m., $18 The Matchmaker [Life should be an adventure or so believes matchmaker Dolly Gallagher Levi. With bravado and spirit, the wily Dolly spreads adventure from Yonkers to New York City as she goes about finding just the right mate for the penny-pinching Horace Vandergelder, his overworked clerks, his timid niece and a pair of ‘wicked’ hat makers.] Krannert Center’s Studio Theatre, June 22-23, 28 7:30 p.m., $18 CUTC presents Les Miserables (Student Edition) Virginia Theatre, June 23-24, June 29-July 2 7:30 p.m., July 2 performance at 2:30 p.m., $17

sounds from the scene

Th Jun 29 Krannert Uncorked 5pm, free Summer Jazz Festival 2006 7:30pm, $7-$12 Einstein and the Polar Bear 7:30pm, $10-$18

To receive updates on specials, new menu items, and other fun information from Intermezzo, sign up for our email list at KrannertCenter.com/Intermezzo. The Promenade If you are looking for a unique gift or a special treat for yourself, stop in at the Center’s Promenade gift shop. The Promenade carries fine art pieces and high-quality items, with a constantly changing stock of beautiful handcrafted items, creative toys, posters, T-shirts, jewelry, one-of-a-kind cards, delectable chocolates, and more. The Promenade gift shop is located just off the Krannert Center lobby, and is open 10am to 6pm Monday through Saturday and one hour before until 30 minutes after all performances. 217/333-8300 In addition to the great times awaiting you at The Promenade and Intermezzo, proceeds from your purchases are invested right back into the performances you see on Krannert Center stages—and that’s a gift for us all. On behalf of our community, we thank you.

333.6280 8 0 0 . K C PAT I X

Patron Season Sponsors Rosann and Richard Noel

Marquee performances are supported in part by the Illinois Arts Council— a state agency which recognizes Krannert Center in its Partners in Excellence Program.

Corporate Power Train Team Engine Members

40˚ North and Krannert Center, working together to put Champaign County’s culture on the map.

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stage, screen & i n b e t w e e n

A TRIBUTE TO DANIEL SULLIVAN AFTER DANIEL SULLIVAN RECEIVED FIVE NOMINATIONS AT THIS YEAR’S ANNUAL TONY AWARDS, INCLUDING BEST DIRECTOR, BUZZ TAKES A MOMENT TO CATCH UP WITH HIM AND HIS SUCCESSES ROSALEE INENDINO • STAFF WRITER

T

ake one class at the University of Illinois, and you will find that we do not take anything lightly here. Our professors demand excellence from us everywhere we turn, and because of that, we have some of the highestranking undergraduate programs in the country. Some of our professors are also ranked at the top in their fields because of having that same excellence demanded of them. The University’s theatre department is no different. “Even though we are located in central Illinois and not on Broadway, we still aim at the highest caliber at theatre training,” said Tom Mitchell, interim head of the University’s theatre program. This high standard of excellence is what brought theatre professor Daniel Sullivan to the University of Illinois and not closer to Broadway. Sullivan is one of the leading stage directors in the United States, having directed the Tony Award-winning play Proof, and others such as Dinner With Friends, Ah, Wilderness! and A Moon for the Misbegotten. The most current play Sullivan has directed, Rabbit Hole, received five nominations at the 2006 Tony Awards including Best Direction of a Play by Sullivan; in addition, Sex and the City star Cynthia Ni xon received a Tony Award for her performance in Rabbit Hole. Before teaching at the Un i ve r s it y o f I l l i n oi s , Sul livan was the artistic director of the Seattle Repertory Company for 16 years. He joined the University in 1999 as a Swanlund Chair, one of the most endowed profe s sor s h ip s g iven at UIUC, in an effort to attract

PHOTO COURTESY OF DANIEL SULLIVAN

SARA KRULWICH / THE NEW YORK TIMES

leading figures in the arts and sciences to the University, as well as recognize outstanding current faculty scholars. Mitchel l had nothing but admirable things to say when asked about Sullivan. “He br i n g s a we a lt h of ex per ience in the theat re,” Mitchell said. “Since joining us, he has established himself as possibly the most respected director working on Broadway. He has staged remarkable awardwinning productions, and he works with the major actors and Cynthia Nixon as Becca and John Slattery as Howie, grieving parents in Manhattan Theater Club’s directors working in American production of David Lindsay-Abaire’s play, “Rabbit Hole,” which was directed by Daniel Sullivan. t heat re tod ay. A l l of that experience is extremely valuable, and he shares it habit into their professional lives. Acting is about giving life to literature, after all.” generously with theatre students and faculty.” Sullivan also discussed the differences between working with He is also extremely effective with students, according student actors in a school environment as opposed to a professional to Mitchell. “He really values the work of the theatre and sees the setting, noting that at the university, there is more time to “get students in this program as the future of the American beneath the surface, to look at the work from many different stage, so he takes his time to explain and coach,” Mitchell angles.” As far as professional theatre goes, the rehearsal process said. “He also works with design students as well as with “goes by very fast, and we have very little time to consider, to actors, giving them all a sense of the rigorous level expected ask ourselves and each other the important questions.” Sullivan replied with utmost honesty when asked about his in professional theatre.” But what makes Sullivan’s teaching style so important Tony nominations and his win for the direction of Proof. “Of course, it’s pleasant to have the recognition, but it’s to the University’s program? “I ask all student actors to look outside themselves, to be distracting and, for me, a little embarrassing. When I work on observers,” he said. “This includes seeing as much theatre a play, I don’t want to call attention to the direction. I want the behavior to be organic, and for that reason, my work needs to as possible to find those artists with whom they identify. “An actor’s work is to look inside themselves to find be invisible. Maybe that extends to my life as well.” Sullivan may not be completely invisible on Broadway or an emotional and psychological honesty, but they have to search outside to find other artists with whom they can at the University. However, he definitely makes the best of do that work. I also ask student actors to develop the habit that visibility, which can be seen in his own work and in that of reading at least one play a week and to continue that of his students. buzz

MAX BROOKS’ THE ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE: Complete Protection From the Living Dead JEFF GROSS • STAFF WRITER

L

et me preface the following by stating that I am not a big fan of reading. Sure, literature is an important mode of information, entertainment and idea, but let’s be honest: movies are faster. As a cinephile — a movie lover — I’d rather opt for the multilayered dimension of film over my own imagination. However, every so often a book comes by that cannot be denied — it demands attention. The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection From The Living Dead by Max Brooks is one of these books. Max Brooks has put together a comical, informational and comprehensive guide to the living dead. Like a zombie film, the guide takes itself seriously in a logos-driven presentation, cataloging a practical exposition of zombies (their attributes, behavior patterns, classifications, etc.) and survival techniques

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(useful weapons, combat techniques, defensive modes of attire, etc.) to be employed against them. It even provides an amusing index of “recorded attacks in history.” The g uide is a must read for fans of zombie fi lms. It rema ins one of the more “rel iable” zombie d irector ies to date, filtering “myth” from “fact” and discerning the efficiencies of various sur vival techniques. Of course, the book is now three year s old, so most d ie-hard zombie fans have probably already gotten their hands on a copy or at least heard of this publication. A las, some of us less literature-fr iend ly folk at the Universit y of Il linois are quite reluctant to go out of their way to read, especially du r i n g t he su m mer. However, i n t h i s r a re s it u at ion , I entirely recommend that you do.

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buzz weekly •

I’M TOO FAT FOR YOU, OLD MAN.

THEATRE

13

FILM

SHINING CITY

THE LAKE HOUSE

(From the Great White Way)

JENNY MCCARTHY • STAFF WRITER

JEFF NELSON • STAFF WRITER

provides much of the play’s verbal give and take, is racked with guilt over his treatment of her just before her death. As a result, he sees and hears images of her spirit whenever he is home. The interplay between O’Bryne as the therapist and the distraught client, played superbly by Oliver Platt, gives lesson after lesson in good listening, as healing seems to parallel listening. Adding to that are the therapist’s own problems, which are inserted in between the scenes with Platt. Here, Steppenwolf’s Martha Plimpton shines as the troubled lover of the ex-priest. Director Falls is superb in pacing five scenes, where each time two months have elapsed, by capturing their different tone and focusing on the special exchange that each scene demands. With the redoubtable O’Bryne as the listening device in every scene, we have an actor of great subtlety and a director who creates stage chemistry, giving us a lesson on listening with a touch of the supernatural.

I

t was more than 10 years ago when Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves co-starred in the L.A. bomb-on-a-bus thriller Speed, and it was there when the chemistry between them formed. The pair was so enticing to watch that Speed left audiences clamoring for the duo to reunite. And finally, a dozen years later, the two have reunited in a completely different genre — and it works just as well for them. T he L ake House i s a romantic comedy, though unoriginal. It’s a remake of South Korea’s Il Mare, but its lack of originality doesn’t take away from t he fi l m . T he fi l m i s about Alex and Kate, two ver y lonely people who h ave r ent e d t he s a me lake house – t wo years apart. The strange part? They can communicate

NACHO LIBRE

SYD SLOBODNIK • STAFF WRITER

KEVIN OLSEN • STAFF WRITER

T

om Griffin’s Einstein and the Polar Bear is a strange mix of comedy and edg y, sometimes vulgar, realistic drama that somehow seems an odd choice for the 2006 Krannert Summer Studio Theater season. But director Caroline Kava makes a definite case for this relatively minor play and creates an entertaining evening of theater. With its deceptively comical title, Einstein and the Polar Bear presents the story of an attractive woman named Diane, who after experiencing car troubles on a snowy New England road, comes upon the home of a once productive writer, Bill Allenson. Since his wife’s suicide several years before, he hasn’t been able to write a word; he has the worst kind of emotional writer’s block. Bill shares a cluttered home with his father, Andy, an elderly stroke victim, who endlessly retells how he once met Albert Einstein in a Rhode Island coffee shop. Also on this snowy evening, a polar bear has escaped from a local zoo and is seen causing havoc on the rural Spider Lake community. Various eccentric locals also involve themselves in Bill’s life, and soon Diane finds herself spending the night with this interesting, complex writer. sounds from the scene

Unlike the regular academic school year, the Summer Studio Theater Company employs a greater variety of acting and production talent. Besides the usual cast of student actors, the summer company includes several professional actors and fine community performers who usually don’t have the opportunity to play Krannert’s many stages. Jeffrey Baumgartner and Christina Dideriksen, especially effective as the leads, make a fine pair, who reluctantly become attracted to each other. Kava creates a nice chemistry between Bill’s angst and cynicism and Diane’s natural blend of determination and coy sexiness. Local veteran performers Steven M. Keen and Dallas Street give strong supporting performances, as well. Keen adds moments of touching emotions as the mostly expressionless disabled father, while Street punches up the humor as the local gregarious mailman who’s full of gossip. “Einstein and the Polar Bear” runs until July 28 in repertory with Thornton Wilder’s “The Matchmaker” and the mystery “Dead Guilty” at Krannert’s intimate Studio Theatre. For ticket information contact the Krannert ticket office at 3336280 or online at KrannertCenter.com.

ROTTENTOMATOS.COM

EINSTEIN AND THE POLAR BEAR

W

riter and director Jared Hess follows his successful cult debut Napoleon Dynamite with Nacho Libre, a comedic look into the life of a Mexican friar who begins to lead a double life as a wrestler to achieve his aspirations and raise money to help the orphanage at his church. Jack Black is the monk Ignacio by day and the wrestler Nacho by night. He is the star of the picture and is able to carry it fairly well without a strong supporting cast as was the case in Napoleon Dynamite. Black goes back to doing comedy the best way he knows how, with

through some mysterious time-warping mail box. As the two read each other’s messages and send each other on little tasks, it’s no wonder that before long, they feel more than just friendship for each other. At t i me s , t he mov ie m ay seem like just another cheesy romance, except with a t wist thrown in that can make it hard to follow. One thing that makes the film more special is the fact that director Alejandro Agresti doesn’t even attempt to explain the weird time shift, which saves the fi l m f rom being d ragged down by intense theorizing a la Donnie Darko style. You may find yourself getting s l ig ht ly a n noyed w it h K ate throughout the film, however, because she doesn’t try hard to find Alex in 2006. With vast resources such as the Internet, you’d assume she’d just Google him. But where’s the fun in that? ROTTENTOMATOS.COM

G

etting the best out of the current generation of cutting-edge Irish playwrights requires a cutting-edge director with a sense of detail. The combination of Conor McPherson’s newest play Shining City and Robert Falls’ consummate direction give us a parable on listening filled with delicious details. As a former Urbana resident and University of Illinois graduate, Robert Falls celebrates three decades of leading Chicago theater into the forefront of the nation’s theatrical renaissance. He is once again celebrated on Broadway with another success. Shining City will continue at the Biltmore Theatre on West 47th Street until July 16, and in this season of Irish renaissance on Broadway, this play fares well for its unique story and qualities. We meet an ex-priest, Brian F. O’Bryne, now working as a therapist in Dublin, whose first client is a distraught man who has just lost his wife in a bloody automobile accident. The client, who

humorous body language reminiscent of John Belushi in Animal House, and perfect physical and verbal timing to deliver subtle jokes that define Hess’ brand of comedy. Hess makes an unconventional hero out of Nacho as a relative nobody working for God in a Mex ican or phanage. Nacho is a pr iest with a passion and desire to do the work of God, but he isn’t successful at what he does. His other life as a wrestler isn’t widely successful either, but it offers a story of a man tr ying to satisfy his own desires to make a better life for himself and ever yone else he knows. This transformation is not as selfless as it may sound, however, as Nacho also has the goal to win over the heart of the newest member of the church, Sister Encarnacion, played by Ana de la Reguera. Nacho Libre is a ser ious filmmaking step by Ja red Hes s a s t he fi l m cont a i n s a lot more substance to go along with the humor compared to Napoleon Dynamite’s rather dull and uneventful plotline. It may not be as funny or memorable, but you can never get enough of seeing Jack Black dance around with his bulbous stomach hanging out.

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buzz weekly

I’D LIKE TO VISIT THAT LONG ISLAND PLACE, IF ONLY IT WERE REAL.

PHONE: 217 - 337 - 8337 DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

APARTMENTS

classifieds INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

DEADLINE:

2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

Employment 000 HELP WANTED

020

Part Time Looking for a fun part-time job? If so, we have a position for you. 88-West Apartments is looking for leasing agents! If you are interested in great pay and a great experience e-mail your resume to rreddy@88-west.com or call 217344-8800.

The Daily Illini classified department has an immediate opening!!

Get great experience in a fun and energetic environment. We need a really wonderful, hard-working U of I student(s) to layout our classified section every afternoon using QuarkXpress on a Mac. Position starts this summer and will continue on into the fall. We are ideally looking for someone that is free between 2-5p.m. M-F afternoons, but can be somewhat flexible on the and the number of days you have available, additional hours as an Ad-Visor are also possible. If you love details and making sure things are right this is the perfect job for you. Requirements: -You must be very detail oriented -You must like checking over thingsperfectionists welcome! -You must be comfortable working on a Mac (QuarkXpress experience a plus) -You must have afternoons free, preferably all five, but a minimum of three -You must be returning as a student in the fall (sorry, no summer jobs only) Benefits: -You’ll get great experience in layout and working in a fast-paced environment. -The atmosphere can’t be beat-you’ll get to work with a fun staff of fellow students. -We just moved into our wonderful new multi-media facility right on campus so you’ll be part of the first group of students to work here. Please email Kit Donahue at kit@illinimedia.com and tell me why you would be perfect for this position.

BUSINESS OPPS

050

BARTENDING! $300/day potential, training provided, no experience necessary. 1-800965-6520 x109.

Merchandise 200

RATES: Billed rate: 38¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 32¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free. Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

GARAGE SALES

280

Garage Sale! Lots of toys, children’s clothes & craft items. Sewing machine & stairstepper too. Saturday, June 24, 8-12, 902 Holiday Dr., Champaign.

Apartments APARTMENTS

400 410

Furnished/Unfurnished Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $585/mo. 367-6626.

420

706 S. FIRST, C APARTMENTS

410

Furnished/Unfurnished

UNIQUE For Fall, 1 bedroom loft apartment. Fully equipped. Balcony, parking. 409 W. Green. Call Hardwick Apartments, 356-5272 or 621-1012.

Aug 2006. Half block south of Green. 2 bdrms from $490/mo. Window A/C, Ethernet avail. Parking at $40/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

APARTMENTS

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

Furnished

APARTMENTS

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Furnished

1006 S. 3RD, C. August 2006. 1 bedrooms. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

J u n e 2 8 , 2 oo 6

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

304 E. Clark, C Castle Apartments 3 blocks to Engineering Quad. 3 BR $725, 4 BR $950. C/A, ceiling fan, dishwasher, washer/dryer in unit. 384-1099, Castle_Apt@insightbb.com

506 E. Stoughton, C. For August 2006. Extra large efficiency apartments. Security building entry, complete furniture, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

420

Furnished

APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished

410

APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished

410

APARTMENTS

410

Furnished/Unfurnished

103 S. Poplar, U. 1 BD/1 BA Avail 8/1 $490/mo. 307 E. Elm #3, U. 1 BD/1BA Avail 8/1, $450/mo. 903 N. Lincoln, U. 2 BD/2BA, fireplace. We have furnished or unfurnished units avail now! $835935/mo. 203 S. Cottage Grove, U. 1 BD/1BA, garage. Avail 8/1. $640/mo. 201 S. Cottage Grove, U. 2 BD, 1 BA, garage. Finished bsmt, large deck & fenced yard. Avail 8/1. $935/mo.

217-239-6677

105 E. CLARK

1005 S. SECOND, C Fall 2006. Efficiencies. Secured building. Private parking. Laundry on site, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 Available June 1- Studios 1 bedroom • 2 bedroom• 3 bedroom www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

105 E. GREEN, C

Aug 2006. Attractive modern lofts. D/W, disposal, window a/c, ceiling fans, patio/balconies, laundry, parking, 2nd Floor skylights. Rents from $360. $50/mo. to furnish. Shown 7 days/wk. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Aug 2006. Studio Apts. Wall A/C units, Laundry, Ethernet avail. From $310/mo. Parking $50/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

609 W. MAIN, U.

Aug 2006. 1 BR apts. From $400/mo. Laundry, window A/C, Parking avail at $35/mo. Ethernet available. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Aug. 2006. 2 bdrm apts Furnished $525/mo. Parking optional, Central A/C, Carpet, Laundry, Ethernet avail. Shown 7 days/wk. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

509 W. MAIN, U.

706 S. WALNUT, U Aug 2006. 1 bdrms from $485/mo. Central A/C, Laundry. Parking. Furnished $50/mo. Shown 7 days/k. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com Best Value 1 bedroom lofts $535 2 bedrooms $575 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $925 Campus, parking. Spring ‘06, 367-6626 BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480. 1 Br. $395 2 BR. $580 3 BR. $750 4 BR $855 Campus. 367-6626. EXECUTIVE LOFT 201 S. Wright St., Champaign. Adjacent to Engineering campus. Loft bedroom, security parking, balcony, A/C, laundry. Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012 Quality campus apartments and group houses. Marcus 621-3971.

Old Town Champaign

Convenient to campus & downtown, old town Champaign, 1 & 2 BR’s, available starting June, July & August. From $380/mo.Call 352-8540, or see: www.faronproperties.com

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APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

GREAT VALUE

306-308-309 White August 2006. 1 & 3 Bedroom furnished apts. Balconies, patios, laundry, dishwashers, off-street parking, ethernet available. 841-1996. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

106 E. STOUGHTON, C Aug 2006. 1 Bdrms near Engineering campus. Wall A/C, Parking. Rent $425/mo. Shown 7 days/wk. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1107 S. EUCLID, C Aug 2006. Near Armory, IMPE and Snack Bar. Window A/C, Laundry, Ethernet avail. Rents from $395/mo. Parking $50/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

Huge Studios

3rd and Clark Leasing for August ‘06. Beautiful furnished 3 bedroom 1 bath, and 4 bedroom 2 bath apartments at 3rd and Clark . Nicest on campus $700$1,000 per month. Ted 766-5108.

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

Old Town Champaign

510 S. Elm Available Fall 2006. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, furnished, W/D, central air/heat, off street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. $595/mo. 841-1996. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

311 E. WHITE, C

509 E. White, C.

Fall 2006. 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kyle, 202-7240. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 618 W. Green, C Huge 2 bedroom. Just remodeled, furnished apartment in quiet offcampus non- smoking building. Free parking, large front porch. Heat, water, gas paid. $800/month. 714-8422

ARBOR APARTMENTS, C. Aug 2006. 1 bdrms at Third & Gregory across from Snack Bar. Window A/C, Laundry, Ethernet avail. Rents from $390/mo. Parking $50/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

807-809 W. ILLINOIS, U Aug 2006. 1 Bdrms corner of Lincoln & Illinois. Window A/C, Laundry, Ethernet avail. Rent $550/mo. Parking $45/mo. Shown 7 days/wk. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

All utilities included!

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Fall 2006 Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup.com 352-3182

August 2006. Large 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

420

Furnished

Aug 2006. Next to UI Library. 1 bedrooms from $540 to $550/mo. Laundry, Window A/C, Carpet. Shown 7 days a week.

307 & 310 E. WHITE 307 & 309 CLARK

Avail Aug 2006. Large efficiencies close to Beckman Center. From $340/mo. Parking avail at $35/mo. Window A/C, carpet, Ethernet avail. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

APARTMENTS

THE GEORGIAN 1005 S. SIXTH, C

907 W. Main, U Large 1 bedroom furnished apartment in remodeled house. All utilities paid. $500/month. 714-8422

503- 505- 508 E. White

901 & 909 S. First. Ethernet, cable, water, trash and sewer all included. Roland-Realty.com 328-1226

buzz weekly •

NOT ONLY AM I NOT LEARNING, I’M FORGETTING STUFF I USED TO KNOW.

JOHN RANDOLPH ATRIUM UTILITIES INCLUDED Avail. January & August 2006. Close to Campus. 4 bedroom apts. with Disposal, Dishwashers, Washer/Dryers in each unit, Ethernet access, Central A/C. Handicap accessible. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Avl now, 4 bdrm, 2 blks west of campus, remodeled, inds or fam, screened porch plus patio. bsmt with bar. dek20@hotmail.com.

509 Stoughton

Loft style apartment downtown Champaign – two-bedroom just being completed. MarkstahlerProperties.com 398-0906

Near Grainger, Spacious studios and 2 bedrooms, ethernet, parking. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Quiet 1 BR apartment. Washer/dryer Available for fall. Located in Urbana. $450/mo. 359-8103.

Available Now · 502 E. Stoughton, C.- Beautiful older converted home with 1 bdrm apt.near Beckman Institute, many utilities included. $420-450

All Utilities Paid 1 BDRM $500 2 BDRM $800 Large furnished apartments 618 W. Green, Champaign 714-8422

217-359-6400 www.ramshaw.com

511 W. Washington, C 2.5 Bedroom avail August 1. All appliances plus washer and dryer. Offstreet parking. No pets. 217-7788894.

Aug 2006. 1 bdrm apts close to Campus. Window A/C. Rents $430/mo. Shown 7 days/wk. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

JOHN & LOCUST, C

· 1012 S. First, C.- Studio on the bus line and great for the individual who can1t get enough of the sports quad! $295 all utilities

205 E. HEALEY, C Aug 2006. Huge 1 bdrm apts. Window A/C, Ethernet available. Parking $40/mo. Rents starts at $435/mo. Shown 7 days/wk. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

722 S. BROADWAY, U.

Aug 2006. Huge one bdrms, Ethernet avail, Window A/C. Rents from $370/mo. Parking $20/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

408 E. Stoughton. Huge 1 bedrooms close to the Engineering Quad. Roland-Realty.com 328-1226

430

APARTMENTS Unfurnished

Other Rentals 500 HOUSES

ROOMS

15 530

1 BR in 4 BR apartment. $350/mo. 367-6626.

ROOMMATE WANTED 550 2 roommates for furnished 4 bedroom house. $420/mo, utilities included. 630-479-6881. bmeador@uiuc.edu. Available now and for Fall. Shared deluxe furnished 4 br., 2 bath apartment at 3rd & Clark. $225/mo. + utilities. Ted 7665108. Graduate Students. House Downtown Champaign, W/D, wireless, $350 per month. 217-369-2406.

RealEstateforSale 600 CONDOS/DUPLEXES

620

For sale by owner. Colony West 2 BR 2 BA condo, appliances, pool, tennis courts, patio. Near park and buslines. $87,500. 586-2549, leave message.

DUPLEX Quiet neighborhood, 2 bdrm, attatched garage, disposal, w/d hookup, C/A. 1105 E. Willard, U (near Windsor & Lynn). $595, available 8/1/06, 344-1427.

Announcements800

510

1, 2, 3 bedroom houses, condos, and duplexes for rent. Great Champaign Location. Many amenities W/D, A/C, etc. 637-0806. 2 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2006. 367-6626. 2- 3 BR off-campus. Quiet Area. Off-street parking. W/D hookup. 604 N. Edwin, Champaign. $750/mo. 649-9708

ADOPTION

850

Adoption....A Family Awaits We are a childless couple who can offer love, laughter, hugs, comfort, support & guidance, & a good home. 877-795-BABY. Medical, legal, court approved living exps pd. Confidential. Illinois DCFS License #012998

4 bedrooms, near Hessel Park. C/A, all appliances. Credit check. No smoking, prefer no pets. Available August. $900. 352-3032 809 W. Charles August ‘06. Delightful, furnished 3 bedroom 1 bath home. Parking, laundry included. $1000/mo. Ted 766-5108 907 E. California, Urbana. 1 BR, 1 BA. $410/mo

217-239-6677 Large 4 Bedroom. Free parking, free W/D, $1460/mo. Real Estate Professionals, 417-5539.

Deluxe 2 BR Townhouses 206 E. Green, C. 1 Free Parking Space New Energy Efficient A/C and Heat Ethernet Access $380/mo/person Call 621-3430 sounds from the scene

CAMPUS GROUP HOUSES 4 or 6 BR campus area, limited parking, partially furnished, NO Pets, $1,125 or $1,700. www.ppmrent.com 351-1800 Four minute walk to downtown Champaign in Champaign ’s only designated historic neighborhood two four-bedrooms – groups welcome. Fenced yards, central/air, washer/dryer, trash and lawncare included. MarkstahlerProperties.com 398-0906

ROOMS

530

1 bedroom available in cute 4 bedroom house; Urbana; (618)6161275

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APARTMENTS Furnished

YOU WANT SOME OF THIS MILK SIDEBURNS?

420

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APARTMENTS Furnished

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APARTMENTS Furnished

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APARTMENTS Furnished

Ever y

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Furnished

Thursday

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10 Bedroom Apartments

Some with washers and driers in each unit! All are five minutes from the Quad. A place and price for everyone! 344-0700

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HE IS ALIVE, BUT ONLY IN THE SENSE THAT HE CAN’T BE LEGALLY BURIED.

APARTMENTS

HOUSES

420

510

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WESTGATE • Clean 1 & 2 Bedrooms • Dependable, 24hr. maintenance • 24 Hour Courtesy

Gate House

APARTMENTS • Superior management • Short-term Leases (limited availability) • Free Parking • On Busline

359-5330 359-5330

Hours: M-F 9-5 • www.westgateapts.net

ankier

partments

www.bankierapts.com

Choice 1,2 & 3 Bedrooms for Fall

High speed internet access/Ethernet Laundry facilities, many with washer/ dryer in unit Dishwasher/Microhood Balconies Intercom Entry Parking 24 hour emergency maintenance

SEE THE DIFFERENCE Mon-Sat (217) 328-3770 COMMERCIAL PROPERTY 610

Listen live @ www.wpgu.com CONDOS/DUPLEXES

620

CONDOS/DUPLEXES

620

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• 620

CONDOS/DUPLEXES

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GREAT CAMPUS LOCATIONS!

COMMERCIAL PROPERTY 610

COMMERCIAL PROPERTY 610

Commercial Office Building

2-story building with attractive street appeal and parking in desirable campus location. 57 E. Green St., Champaign. Approximately 8,000 sq. ft. Serious inquiries only please. Contact Roger Marsh 328-0123. sounds from the scene

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I’M A PHILOSOPHY MAJOR, THAT MEANS I CAN THINK DEEP THOUGHTS ABOUT BEING UNEMPLOYED.

LIKES AND GRIPES LET IT OUT ELYSE RUSSO Arts editor LIKES 1. That Likes and Gripes is back!: Yes!!!! I know all of you missed it just as much as I did. 2. Cookie Dough Blizzards from DQ: There’s just something magical about ice cream in the summer, especially if it’s from Dairy Queen and involves some sort of chocolate. 3. Summertime Office Bake-offs: Yes, I am participating in an office bake-off with my fellow co-workers at the LAS office, and the first round is Chocolate Chip Cookies. We’ll see who wins this bracket of the bake-off challenge, and then we’ll go from there ...

TODD SWISS Editor in chief GRIPES 1. Officiating in the World Cup: There are way too many yellow and red cards being shown for borderline fouls. I want to see the best players on the field, not reserves just because a star player has gotten two questionable yellows. 2. Mosquitoes: Worst insect ever. I find myself wearing pants at all times to shield myself from their bites. 3. Movie Sequels: Enough is enough. Yeah, some of them are really good. However, does anyone really want to see Garfield 2 or a third installment in the X-Men series that is poorly made? Come on Hollywood, give me some originality!

WORLD CUP! Coming June 9th BASEBALL! Cubs, Sox, Cards & More! 16 Huge TVs Watch the action on our Flat Panel TVs

Summer Breeze Feel it in on our patio!

Daily Food & Drink Specials 2-Level Beer Garden Over 30 Beers 12 Draft Beers FULL Menu Open 11am 7days/week

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BRITTANY BINDRIM Art director LIKES 1. Alfred Hitchcock movies: Especially Rear Window, Vertigo and Spellbound. It’s also kind of fun trying to point out his cameos in each movie. 2. Pablo Neruda: I love his surrealist and erotic love poetry. I think his poems are some of the most beautiful ever written. 3. Gustav Klimt: One of my favorite painters. The Austrian artist created some of the most sensual, vivid and controversial paintings of his time. Judith I, Hygieia and The Kiss are some of my personal favorites. TATYANA SAFRONOVA Community editor LIKES 1. Evo slush / snow: How delicious! Exotic flavors! Those weird “bubbles!” A large watermelon slush saved me from incredible thirst on one hot June day. I was riding my bike around Urbana (read farther down), and I could feel my life flashing before my eyes because I was drying up like a mummy. But soon I realized that my elixir lay not far away. I dragged my lifeless body to the counter and demanded my salvation. If you’re drinking a watermelon slush, you might as well have stuffed your entire head into a watermelon, and eat your way out. 2. My bicycle: I found my bike about a month ago. It’s my idea of a black stallion (except that it’s light blue and made out of metal). I ride it around town on the roads of CU. It’s quickly become my best friend. Out and about in the cities by day, we roll together into my apartment at night to sleep and prepare for the adventure that awaits us tomorrow! 3. “In Soviet Russia ...” jokes: “In California you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the Party can always find you.” Oh Soviet Russia, the memories of the bread lines, sports teams that never lost and a magnificent patriotism that was more of a myth than a fact. This myth inspired these wonderful tidbits. Enjoy these jokes because in Soviet Russia, jokes enjoy you. CHRISTINA LEUNG Photo editor GRIPES 1. Weather forecast: The weather forecast on Tuesday predicted that thunderstorms would sweep across Champaign all week. On Tuesday, the only water droplet that fell on me was from an air conditioner. And Wednesday, people were tanning on the Quad. Where’s the storm? No wonder weathermen are so hated by the general public. 2. Myself: I totally regret writing “PCs are better” in our last “Likes & Gripes.” Why? Because a week later my PC crashed. Maybe Macs are indeed more reliable after all. Who knows? Watch all the Macs at Illini Media crash once my gripes are printed ... 3. People who won’t hold the door for others: Have you encountered anyone that would purposely close the door on you? The other day I saw two people walking toward the entrance at the Union. The first person was either extremely weak or she just didn’t want to hold the door for the second person. So, she opened the door halfway and ended up getting caught in between. How pathetic is that?! Show some courtesy people! Otherwise you’ll end up embarrassing yourself. NIKITA SOROKIN Designer GRIPES 1. ATMs with british accents: Please entah yohe secret numbah. 2. Demonic posession: Extremely detrimental to employee morale. 3. Sporty girls: sporty girls are sporty! Sporty girls play sports! Sporty girls wear skintight skimpy shorts! i want a sporty girl in my collection! i want to perform a sporty girl dissection!

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19

the stinger kim rice & kate ruin DOIN’ IT WELL

jonesin CROSSWORD PUZZLE

7 Not quite the most dominant 8 Without any more need for payback 9 Function 10 Reason to look (or hide your eyes) at the beach 11 Political talk show guest 12 Plants that soothe sunburns 13 Spot in the water 14 Tide types 21 Words used when hailing 23 What some people do “once and for all� 25 Nile biters 26 Coffeehouse order 27 More desertlike 28 Head of the Slytherin House 30 Cyan ending? 31 Like some genes 32 They may be taxdeductible 33 “Mad� magazine cartoonist Drucker 36 Saw eye to eye regarding 38 Not the best composer in the world 39 Festival city where Bob Britta "( "" %)) "

Dylan famously played an electric guitar 52 Former nickname for usually 40 Undertaker, signature The Governator 42 They’re taken by jrs. 53 Nile biter &

43 Host with a 276-car 56 Home run, insignature slang stunt $

57 British-made SUV signature 44 One of three ships 58 Lewis who had Lamb 47 School whose mascot is Chop Bruin Bear 59 Quality given by pep pills 48 Rapidly shrinking Asian sea Down 49 Solitary 1 Title for Italian monks 51 Corrida cheers 2 ___ rage 54 Format that can be 3 It’s got a husk burned once 4 Word in a tabloid’s title 55 They may have special 5 Musician’s temporary entrances in hosps. home 6 When doubled, a “Rain Answers pg. 20 Man� song

Pekara " # $ Run Dates: 6/22‌ changes al layout 28 Rocket material? “All over the mapâ€? $" ( 29 They get laced 217.337.8382 31 Crater’s edge "

Across 217.337.8337 34 Henry VIII’s last wife ' 1 Activist request on Catherine ___ 217.337.8303 bumper stickers 35 Rising and falling 10 Bilbao’s land 36 Nautical opening 15 City in the Blue Ridge 37 Transgress Mountains 38 Necessity on a cross16 Vital sign of sorts country train trip 17 Sign of sarcasm? 40 Max who played Jethro 18 ___ Gay (famous flier) Bodine 19 Gloomy 41 Sagarmatha, to the 20 Like water in the baseNepalese ment, after some leaks 42 Vox ___ 22 Little lies 45 Moms in the meadow 24 Poets who focus on 46 “Swing Low, Sweet praising verses Chariot�, e.g. 25 Grew over time 50 Chilean currency

116 N. Neil St. Champaign, IL 61820 217.359.4500

Fresh breads, pastries and crepes BAKED FRESH DAILY! Everything made from scratch

New Summer Menu! Smoothies & More! Large Orders Welcome sounds from the scene

Anatomy 201: Intersex What your teachers never told you about human anatomy

M

ost of us had some kind of human anatomy class. Our teachers presented us with a male diagram consisting of testicles, scrotum, prostate and penis and a female diagram with ovaries, vagina and uterus. These diagrams were presented as the definitive models of “male� and “female.� In reality, however, the “male / female� diagrams simply represent two ends of a spectrum that is more diverse than our teachers probably realized. Sure, there are differences in how we each look between the legs — the colors, exact shapes and sizes of each body is unique. Those diagrams glossed over these differences. But they also neglected to discuss the fact that thousands of people are born every year who don’t “fit� the diagram internally, externally or both. Ever heard of the term “hermaphrodite?� That old-school word conjures up images of people with both a penis and vagina, or circus characters split down the middle. Well, that really doesn’t happen, and so the term “hermaphrodite� isn’t useful in describing people (and can even be insulting). However, about 1 in every 2,000 babies born is considered to have genitals that are somehow ambiguous, and these people are considered “intersex.� According to the Intersex Society of North American (isna.org), intersex is a general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male. For a baby born with ambiguous genitals, it could mean that he or she has a clitoris that is longer than usual, thus resembling a small penis or a penis that is considered “too small� (less than one inch). Doctors often conduct immediate “corrective� surgery to make the baby fit into one of the male /female models. This could include cutting away parts of the clitoris, which can cause extensive nerve damage, or removing the penis entirely and assigning the child a female gender. These procedures happen daily at hospitals in the United States, sometimes without the parents being informed about it. These procedures are a testament to the extreme anxiety our society has around gender ambiguity. One of the problems with this type of “standardizing� surgery is that it often causes damage to the fertility and/or sexual response of intersex people that can last throughout their lives. In addition, any child — intersex or not — may decide later in life that she or he was given the wrong gender assignment. Once surgery is conducted, it is difficult to “undo� or correct it later.

Much of the medical community maintains that keeping intersex people in the dark about their medical history is the best route. In this way, children born intersex are often brought up with shame and confusion around their bodies. Fortunately, in the last two decades, people who were born intersex have begun to speak up and demand that doctors stop doing these types of surgeries on infants and that parents and children are informed honestly about their condition. While some intersex conditions are noticeable at birth, others go undetected until puberty or later in life. In some cases, it isn’t until a man seeks infertility treatment that he realizes he was born with an XXY chromosomes instead of the standard XY most men are born with. In other cases, a person could be raised as male during their childhood but their bodies don’t respond to androgen so they begin to develop female bodies at puberty. Other people are born with XX chromosomes, typically considered standard for females, but do not have a uterus, vagina or ovaries. We decided to write this column to fill in the gaps in the standard anatomy lesson plan, to further illuminate the diversity the human body is capable of and spread information on the struggle of intersex people for humane medical care.

SEX 411 •

•

•

•

Intersex is an umbrella term that refers to a wide variety of conditions that can affect both the internal and external sex/reproduction organs as well as sex chromosomes. “Disorders of Sex Development�(DSD) is a new term for “intersex� that is used to help doctors and other medical professionals understand these conditions An intersex baby can and should be assigned a gender at birth without surgery. Remember that gender assignment, particularly for intersex people, may be wrong. Anyone planning on becoming a parent can educate themselves about intersex issues and how to avoid potential harm to their child if they are born intersex by visiting www.isna.org

Don’t be shy!!! Get your sex questions answered in the next Doin’ It Well column by writing to us at riceandruin@yahoo.com. We’re professional sex educators so we’ve probably heard it before.

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AW, TWENTY DOLLARS! I WANTED A PEANUT!

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free will astrology JUN. 22 — JUN. 28 ARIES

March 21 – April 19

During America’s Civil War, John Bell Hood was a top general for the Confederacy. Though initially impressive, he grew increasingly ineffectual as his ferocious courage devolved into maniacal force devoid of strategy. His superior officer Robert E. Lee said that Hood was “all lion and no fox.” I mention this, Aries, in the hope that it will serve as a kick in butt. You’re not as unbalanced as Hood--your ratio is about 90 percent lion, 10 percent fox--but if you want to navigate your way successfully through the coming weeks, you’ll have to work harder on cultivating your inner fox.

T A U RU S

April 20 – May 20

According to a study done by sociologist Werner Habermehl at the Hamburg Medical Research Institute, sex makes you smarter. His test subjects showed greater skill at performing certain mental tasks after they made love. Habermehl attributes the results to the increased levels of adrenaline and cortisol that are released in the body. I encourage you to do some experiments of your own, Taurus. The coming weeks will be an excellent time for you to engage in all manner of experiences that might boost your intelligence, including (though not limited to) regular erotic adventures.

GEMINI

May 21 – June 20

Using your common sense, you might assume you could swim faster through water than through syrup. But research published by Professor Edward Cussler has shown that’s not true. In his paper “Will Humans Swim Faster or Slower in Syrup?”, he proved that the breaststroke can be done with equal speed in both mediums. Keep that in mind, Gemini. Your surroundings may sometimes feel dense in the coming weeks--more like syrup than water. But as long as you don’t buy into the fear that life will be more difficult and slow-going, you’ll be able to glide along with just as much grace as you’ve enjoyed recently.

CANCER

June 21 – July 22

Since it’s my birthday this week, I decided to take a break from business as usual. That’s why I outsourced the writing of our Cancerian horoscope to an astrologer in Bangladesh, Farhana Rasel. Here’s what she came up with: It is an auspicious time to use the good will you have accumulated through your generous deeds. You should ask for favors from people who have enjoyed your favors, and coast along on the currents of the good karma you have set in motion. Luck will be on your side if you permit yourself an excursion into the naughty mysteries of enlightened narcissism. You will be given more slack than usual, especially if you have the nerve to demand it.

LEO

VIRGO

Aug. 23 – Sept. 22

LIBRA

Sept. 23 – Oct.22

Futurologist David Brin talks to a diverse range of scientists. Over the years, he has noticed that many of them have become “much livelier, more open-minded, and more interested in fields outside their own” than they were when he first met them. Physicists are more interested in biology, biologists in astronomy, and engineers in cybernetics. According to my reading of the astrological omens, Virgo, this is a perfect moment for you to have this kind of fun. You will attract unexpected benefits into your life if you wander outside your areas of specialty and check out the action in other genres. It’s high time for exuberant cross-pollination.

If you think you need to be fixed, toned down, made over, or recreated from scratch, you’re reading the wrong horoscope column. Likewise, if you imagine that you’re a wounded animal in desperate need of rescue or a helpless victim cowering in your closet, I’m not the proper consultant for you. But if you long to be fiercely understood, shaken awake, and dared to discover your higher calling, you’ve come to the right place. Now let’s get started on the next phase of my pet project, which is to inspire you to deal with what philosopher Alan Watts called “the taboo against knowing who you are.” There are secrets that your unconscious mind has been longing to reveal to your conscious mind, and conditions are now favorable for that shocking yet pleasurable communication to unfold.

IN

B ETWEEN | CLASSIF EDS | THE STINGER

Oct. 23 – Nov. 21

S AG I T TA R I U S

Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

AQUA R I U S

Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

In the course of my life, I’ve known five people whom I consider feral. They weren’t raised by wolves in the wild, but they have qualities that make it seem as if they could have been. They regularly get wild glints in their eyes, and are given to sudden expulsions of anomalous noises that express manic amusement mixed with inscrutable emotions. They can survive while traveling in foreign lands despite having little money, and even when they’re home they’re prone to taking long rambles in the middle of the night. They couldn’t care less what anyone thinks of them, and rarely do what anyone expects them to do. These feral folks are disruptive but not dangerous, and they confound my beliefs about human nature in the most entertaining ways. Even if you don’t fit this description, Scorpio, you’d be wise to flirt with your own brand of feral behavior in the coming weeks. It’s time to untame yourself.

The successful Czech composer Vaclav Halek has an unusual muse: the mushroom kingdom. No, he doesn’t ingest the psychedelic varieties and write music while high. Rather, he wanders out into the forest, lies down next to fungal colonies, and tunes in to their vibrations. “I simply record music that the mushrooms sing to me,” he told The Sydney Morning Herald. Trees and rocks also produce melodies, he reports, but the toadstools’ compositions are the finest. Given the fact that you’re in a phase when becoming a better listener would improve your life dramatically, Sagittarius, I encourage you to be open-minded about Halek’s approach to his creativity. Just imagine that you have the power to eavesdrop on all of creation.

“What the heart knows today the head will understand tomorrow,” wrote Irish storyteller James Stephens. It’s lucky for you that this is true, Capricorn--or at least it will be lucky if you’re smart enough to trust your heart, which has already figured out a certain truth that your head is still days away from registering. This is not merely a pretty metaphor, by the way. Despite what you may have been led to believe about the nature of the heart, it is actually an organ of intelligence that is capable of deep thought.

During an outdoor concert, ‘80s pop star Cyndi Lauper experienced a rare event that every singer dreads. As she belted out a long, booming note, a bird flying overhead dispensed a blob that zoomed into her wide-open mouth. Lauper’s grandmother later assured her that this was a stroke of good luck, and the singer herself referred to it as “God’s little joke.” I predict you will soon enjoy a metaphorically similar visitation.

July 23 – Aug. 22

“Prescribed Burn Season Begins” read a headline in a Colorado newspaper that publishes my column. The report said that forestry officials planned to intentionally set easilycontrollable fires on parcels of bone-dry woods. By reducing the density of potential fuel, they would dramatically reduce the threat of massive forest fires in the future. The burns would also make habitats more livable for wildlife. I suggest you make this your metaphor, Leo. If you burn a little now, you’ll prevent a bigger burn later.

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SCORPIO

PISCES

Feb. 19 – March 20

According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you’re about to turn into a creative powerhouse--and will remain so for at least a few weeks. That means you’ll be at the peak of your ability to conjure up artistic masterpieces. But more than that: You will also have uncanny skill at whipping up fresh, crisp solutions to conundrums that have stymied you and your tribe for a long time. It will almost be as if you have found a way to tap into the future, where you can learn novel ways of seeing that are impossible to access in the present. Homework: To celebrate my birthday this week, I’ll say a highpowered prayer for you. Telepathically tell me the one problem you want me to focus on. Or testify at www.freewillastrology.com.

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