Buzz Magazine: July 28, 2005

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SCRAMBLED EGGS ALL OVER MY FACE; WHAT IS A BOY TO DO?

Production Department Design Ads for the Daily Illini and Buzz, as well as marketing materials for Illini Media Company. U of I students with a strong design sense needed. Experience in InDesign, Photoshop, and Illustrator a plus. Flexible hours in a fast-paced but fun environment. Interested? Contact jonhuff@illinimedia.com

Page Designers Contact buzz@readbuzz.com CONDOS/DUPLEXES

Roommate Wanted for large 3 bedroom, 1 bath apartment near Downtown Champaign. $400/month, includes all utilities + parking. 847345-3766

3 BR, 2.5 bath, quiet, garage, $775

Share 2 BR apartment with cats, large bedroom w/ bath. , laundry, dishwasher, A/C, on Green line, Available Aug. 15. $275/mo. Deposit negotiable. Call Maranda 217-3900193. Single grad student seeks roommates. Large 5 bedroom home. 3989662. Single, Non-smoking Male to share Downtown Urbana House. Lease required, call 217-841-0995

PARKING/STORAGE

570

Rent storage for the summer. Student special. Own your own storage. 384-5302

FOR RENT

580

2 BR House, 210 Ells. $750/mo. 3 BR Apt. 501 W. Green. $700/mo 355-0520 Large fully furnished room in private home. W/D, all utilities included. Near campus. (217)344-7154.

RealEstateforSale 600 CONDOS/DUPLEXES

620

3 and 4 bedroom townhouses, 1.5 bath, basement, CA, campus bus near Kirby + Mayfair, C. $850-900, 398-1998

620

4 BR, 1.5 bath, quiet, garage, $825 All in Southwest Champaign, Available August 15th. Excellent credit and references required. 367-1406 Colony W. Condo First floor, 2 BR, 1 bath. W/D, D/W included. Access to pool & clubhouse, $725/mo. Aug. 15th. 3840333. Fully furnished Condo in Savoy, laundry room, garage, A/C. Close to bus line. Call 217-356-6680.

Unfurn. 3 BR, 2 BA duplex W/d, d/w, fireplace, 2 car garage

Avail. mid-Aug at $895-995/month

1301 S. Maple, U The Weiner Companies, Ltd.

384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

HOUSES

630

For Sale 209 E. Kerr, U. 3 BR/ 1BA duplex. Shade trees, carpeted floors, offstreet parking, coin w/d. $225 + $70 util. 687-2654 301/ 304 W. Eureka, C. Aug. 1BR eff. in house. Large shade trees, hrdwd. floors, private entry, coin W/D, A/C, pet friendly. $300- 450 incl. some util. 687-2654.

listen live @ wpgu.com

Send us your event listings

calendar@ readbuzz.com

ROOMMATE WANTED 550

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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buzz weekly

seth fein

CERTAINLY, IN THE TOPSY-TURVY WORLD OF HEAVY ROCK, HAVING A GOOD SOLID PIECE OF WOOD IN YOUR HAND IS OFTEN USEFUL.

the local sniff

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Are you gonna go to see Blackalicious or what?

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APARTMENTS

Urbana will always be home to this Messianic Jew SETH FEIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

FIRST SNIFF Speaking to an audience of around 100 people, Seth Fein addresses the topic of hip-hop on a hot, sweaty hypothetical night inside some random classroom inside some random building on the UIUC campus. Out of curiosity, how many people out there like Hiphop? May I see a show of hands? OK. OK. Almost 75 percent of you.That’s quite a lot. Because, from what I have been able to understand, hip-hop dominates pop culture in many, many ways. It’s certainly the most popular genre of pop music. Most everyone likes music that carries a good beat. Hell, even McDonald’s is using it to pitch their new “healthy lifestyle” choices on their fat-tastic menu. So, I am guessing that, based on this crowd, most of you own albums or listen to it on the radio, yes? I see. I see. So now I have another question for you: Why on earth does no one in this room ever want to attend a hip-hop show in this town? The crowd looks around at each other, shrugging shoulders and furrowing their brows, thinking to themselves,“Yeah. I guess I never go to hip-hop shows, do I?” HATE TO SAY THIS BUT ... Almost no one goes to see hip-hop shows in this town. I have declared it before and I will maintain it to the day: I am not a hip-hop head. I like it, but by no means would I seek it out. But I know for a fact that many, many people out there love it and even identify it as their lifestyle. That’s what they say.They say,“Hip-hop has no color. It’s for everyone. It is a lifestyle.” I agree. It truly has no color. And that is tremendous. But in regards to it being a lifestyle, I call bullshit. If it’s such a lifestyle, than how is it that there is no scene for it? How come every time I go to a hip-hop show there are so few people there? Rock music, which is nowhere near as popular as hip-hop, consistently has people coming out to shows. I hear your argument already, heads.You think that no one is willing to foster a scene for you. And I’ll grant you that. Most venues don’t cater to hip-hop. No venues in this town to be exact. But there are hip-hop shows. And they are always dead. At least, they are dead if you think in terms of the amount of people out there who proclaim to live a “hip-hop lifestyle.” If I am not mistaken, if one identifies their lifestyle by the kind of music that they listen to, than it seems fairly likely that they might take an interest in actually watching it live and experiencing it firsthand. Hey, I am not trying to bring you people down. I am trying to get you fired up! Hip-hop heads everywhere: Unite!

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Start going to the shows that are here and start making more! Throw house parties. Have battles. Sign up on Delayney’s list so you can find out firsthand what is going on in town! It is so important to our music scene and time after time, I show up to a hip-hop event and it’s as sparse as a rodeo in Harlem.Wake up heads! Time to put your money where your mouth is. SHOW OF THE YEAR THUS FAR? I only say this because of watching Beans with The Holy Fuck and Heiruspecs, both incredible hip-hop groups, perform to a crowd of only 100. It was perhaps the best show I have seen all year. It’s not that it frustrated me from a promoter’s standpoint. I just wish that more people would take a chance on something different. People can listen to a DJ any night of the week. It’s not that often for hip-hop groups (and I say groups meaning that they have bands—you know, live drums, basses, rhodes keyboards, guitars and yes, turntables.) Note to people of Champaign-Urbana: Hip-hop is not scary. In fact, it promotes peace more so than rock music. Come out and celebrate it on the rare occasions that it is here. MID-YEAR REPORT CARD Best albums of the year so far? I don’t know. But here are my top five favorites thus far, in no particular order: 5.Hopewell and The Birds of Appetite Seth Fein is from 4. Mercury Rev – The Secret Migration Urbana. He is 3. Common – Be already proud of 2. Shipwreck – Origin Laurel Prussing for 1. Sufjan Stevens – Illinois what is happening FINAL WHIFF on Philo Road. He Let it be known that I am no longer can be reached at going to be living in Urbana. I love sethfein@ Urbana. It is a nicer city than Champaign. hotmail.com. I am a UHS graduate and have lived in Urbana my entire life, save my first two years of college when I needed to do the campus living thing. Now, I move back to Champaign. I need to say I am sorry to Urbana. So there. I am sorry. In any event, my girlfriend and I are moving in to a beautiful home with a married couple who are now dear friends of ours. People have been giving me looks that seem to say, “Why would you want to live with another couple? Why would a married couple want to live with you?” Answer? Because we can. This is your world.You get to create the rules as long as they fall in line with what is safe for everybody. I like the idea of communal living, and what’s more, I believe that if more people depended on each other and trusted each other, we’d be living in a much safer and more compassionate world. God, I am such a Birkenstock at heart. Forgive me.

Silver Bullet Bar 1401 E. Washington, U. www.silverbulletbar.net 344-0937 BEST BAR IN CHAMPAIGN-URBANA BEST DJ’S AND MUSIC - BEST DRINK SPECIALS

Monday - $2 Domestic Beers Tuesday - $2 Rum & Coke Wednesday - $2.50 Screwdrivers Thursday - $2 Amaretto Stone Sours FREE POOL 8PM-9PM FEMALE DANCERS NIGHTLY

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Unfurnished

Downtown apartment/ studio space @ 511 N. Neil, C. 2nd floor, 2000 sqft. 4 huge bedrooms, lots of windows, off- street parking. $1400/mo. Available August 15. Contact John, James Burch Real Estate, 3692310.

Our most desirable location on U of I golf course. 1200 sq. ft, 2 bedroom, 2 bath, fireplace, study, dishwasher, W/D, A/C, carport plus parking, balcony/patio. 359-3687.

603 W. Green

384-8018

PRICES SLASHED FAIRLAWN VILLAGE FAIRLAWN & VINE SEMESTER LEASES

SUBLETS

440

Apartment sublet, 502 S. Mattis, Champaign, Aug. 05- July 06. Bi-level, 2 BR, 1.5 bath. Furnished or unfurnished. $600/mo. 217-621-0193 Female 21/ non-smoker, looking to sublease apartment. Please call 847-650-9728 Female roommate wanted. 5658 Daniel St. Furnished 2 bedroom. $450/mo per person. Close to campus. 217-253-3654, 217-649-7521 Newlyweds looking for Aug. & Sept. apartment to rent. 217-621-7151 or becca_cochrane@illinoisalumni.org Want to sublet 1 bedroom furnished apartment for 2-3 months starting August. 217-235-4844 or 217-4601145

Avail. Fall. $465- $475/mo. Includes most utilities, laundry, pkg, A/C. On busline.

Aug 2005. Live in a peaceful, relaxed, neighborhood setting. Fairlawn Village is a one-story apartment community, spread out on twelve acres, close to U of I, shopping and walking distance to schools. Spacious apartments with washer/dryer hook up, a/c, and garages available.Two bedrooms from $500 to $550/mo. Call for an appointment.

The Weiner Companies, Ltd 384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 344-5043 www.barr-re.com

NEED A 1 BR!

Quality Living Properties 328-4283 1-2 BEDROOM APARTMENTS NOW LEASING FOR AUG 2005

2+ BR off-campus 3rd BR/ Office. Quiet Area. Great yard. Off-street parking. W/D hookup. 604 N. Edwin, C. $750/mo. 649-9708

504 & 506 E. Green St., U

205 West John. Furnished 5 bedroom, two bath, hardwood floor, fireplace, Sunspace, porch, deck fenced yard. 352-9848 390-9577 $1,350/mo. Visit www.space-wise.com/john

www.weinercompanies.com

Large 1 BR

Convenient 1 bedrooms near downtown Champaign now available. From $360. 508 W. Hill, C. 605 W. University 515 W. Washington, C. 811 W. Hill, C. These and other apartment locations also available for leases starting throughout the summer.

352-8540, p.m. 355-4608 www.faronproperties.com

One Month Free Rent 2 BR Townhomes with W/D, private patio and more! The perfect place to call home! Beautiful setting close to Hessel Park and on the busline. Call 356-4012

Available now and Aug 05. Near shopping and bus lines. D/W, laundry on site and off-street parking. $415/mo.

710 S. Walnut, U

Near bus lines and off-street parking included. $400/mo.

603 S. Walnut, U

Large apts., off-street parking, and W/D in unit. $500/mo.

201 E. California, U

2-bdr, Hrdwd floor, W/D in unit. $485/mo.

Quiet 2nd flr. 2 BR. older home. $500. Screened porch. Above offices. August 15. Green near Cedar, U. tombruno@tombruno.com. 328-6000.

RENT IT!!! 337-8337

RENTS STARTING AT

Other Rentals 500 HOUSES

3 BEDROOM TOWNHOUSE HESSEL PARK, August 1 615 W. Kirby CA, DW, CARPORT, ELEGANT. 1600 SQ. FT. $1450 398-1998 www.lincolnshireprop.com 3 br, 1 ba, washer, dryer, AC, Nice back yard, 1 car garage. $750 per month. 712 E. Michigan, Urbana. 378-4741 3, 4 or 5 BR houses available. Fall 2005. Call Green Street Realty 3568750. 601 W. Nevada, U. Aug. ‘05. 3 BR. extra sunroom. Laundry, Parking. 217-299-1380.

$420

CAMPUS CONNECTION formerly Melrose Apartments 1601 N Lincoln Ave, Urbana

278-0278

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305 W. Eureka 2 BR, Dishwasher, On Busline, pet friendly, $560/mo w/ on-time payment. Available mid- August. 3980783. 316 S. State St., C 4/ 5 bedroom home, 2 baths, 2 full kitchens, laundry room. $1100/mo. 369-7205. 5 bedroom house. Hessel park area. W/D. 2 full baths, full basement, large backyard, pet friendly. 217390-1955.

610 S. State, Champaign

Beautiful 5 Bedroom House on Busline near campus. 2 full kitchens, laundry hardwood floors, large yard. Perfect Condition. $1,500/ mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

510

2 bedroom and 7 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2004. 367-6626.

BEST BANG FOR YOUR BUCK

OPEN Monday - Thursday 8pm-1am Friday-Saturday 8pm-2am Ladies & Couples Welcome Always Free Admission with our T-Shirt ATM $5.00 Admission/Ladies Free Accepted MUST BE 21

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

APARTMENTS

Unfurnished

Extra Large 2 BR hdwd, laundry, parking. Heat, water, trash incl. $850/month Weiner Companies, LTD

buzz weekly •

NILES, OWNING THE CD OF "ELLA SINGS GERSHWIN" DOES NOT QUALIFY YOU AS A SOUL BROTHER.

710 S. State, C. Charming bungalow, 3 bedroom, 2 baths, deck with fenced backyard, on busline, close to campus, a/c, w/d, d/w. $995. 649-8499.

HOUSES

510

Cute house for rent in quiet Urbana. 5 BR, 2 bathrooms, fully furnished, W/D, parking. ruiz2@uiuc.edu. Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2850 367-6626

FREE RENT!

806 W. Stoughton, Urbana- Are you and your friends still looking for a house for rent? This large house is a steal at reduced pricing. Four bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms and a garage. Recently updated with newer carpet and vinyl. Now offering 1/2 off security deposit and 1 month’s free rent. $1395/mo. Call Allison Today! www.ramshaw.com

344-2376 or 359-2072

Cozy Cottage - near Lincoln Square. Campus. Hardwood floors, 5 rooms, 2 BR. 359-3687

530

NEWLY REMODELED Rooms available - Free parking/ wireless internet! On bus route, 3 mins. from campus, quiet. Only $325/ month! Call for a showing before it’s gone! (708)699-7311 or BTPManagement@gmail.com

384-8018

Off Campus House with available room. $400/month with utilities included, free parking, on 5 Green Busline. 224-6309

Unfurn. 3 BR

Room in 4 Bedroom, 2 Bath Furnished Apartment. Washer/ Dryer in unit. 5th and White. $230. 352-7818

hwd floors, fireplace, W/A, carport Avail. mid-Aug at $895/month The Weiner Companies, Ltd. www.weinercompanies.com

with pkg, w/d hookups, A/C Avail now & mid-August In west Champaign & east Urbana $650 - $795/month The Weiner Companies, Ltd.

(217)359-6400

Urbana Campus 4 bedroom 702 W. Green & 812 W. Main Jimmy 373-4888

JTS Properties 328-4284 Urbana Houses Available August 2005

“Wendt Manor” is Available for August occupancy. Previously occupied by grad or law students. Call for more information 217-714-1988. Agent owned.

Single rooms for women. Clean, laundry facilities, close to campus, located on busline. $245- 260/ month. Utilities included. 367-4824.

ROOMS

ROOM & BOARD

384-8018

905 W. Main

2 BR, 1 Bath, W/D, pets welcome, & off-street parking. $800/mo. Newly remodeled 5 BR, 2 bath, hardwood floors, off-street parking with garage. $1500/mo.

Large 3 BR, 2 Bath, duplex, new flooring, W/D, 1 car garage, $850/mo. 778-2060.

LINCOLN & STOUGHTON Furnished 4 BR w/ 2 BA parking, A/C, laundry $1,200/mo The Weiner Companies, Ltd.

384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

Available now. 3 BR $840/mo. 7664746.

ROOMS

Unfurn. 3 BR, 1.5 BA in Leal School District

www.weinercompanies.com

1 Block From Campus •804 S Busey, U. •4 BR -- 2 BA •Off - Street Parking •Laundry •Wrap Around Porch

510

Rooms in huge graduate student house near West Side Park and downtown Champaign. Will do one semester lease for $3200 or $485 per month for one year lease which includes utilities, trash, telephone, cable, Ethernet, free Washer/Dryer, private off-street parking, use of large living areas. Lease & deposit required. Available August 1st 2005. 217-355-2326.

105 N. Coler

BEAUTIFUL HOUSE

HOUSES

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SAFE street, furnished, 4 bedroom, 1 block from Lincoln & Green, central air, fireplace, living, dining, kitchen, W/D, includes parking, available August 15. No pets. $1400. 3673530 leave message.

530

540

*Private home includes cable Internet, telephone, utilities, parking. $450. 630-759-3634.

Want community? Vegetarian meals? Affordable private rooms? www.couch.coop

1 BLOCK FROM QUAD FREE utilities, laundry, local phone, a/c, kitchen. Furnished. Hi-speed internet. $235/mo. Private certified housing for male students. University YMCA, 337-1500 (across from Lincoln Hall) johanne@universityymca.org

ROOMMATE WANTED 550

3rd + Chalmers 1 bedroom in 4 bedroom apartment. 815-695-5836 Available Now. Rooms $260/ month. 766-4746. CAMPUS AREA. Quality furnished large room in house on busline. Share kitchen, laundry, utilities. $235 and up. 356-0345. Furnished room and private bath offered free in return for babysitting services. Flexible hours, all terms negotiable. 359-1485.

1 bedroom, near campus $300 per month 367-6626 510 E. White 1 BR in a 2 BR apartment. $350/ mo, 9 month lease. Willing to give 2 free months. Contact David 773852-4296. 605 S. 5th St. Great Location, looking for roommate to share 3 BR apartment. $430/mo. Convenient to busline, furnished. Available August. 815-2285167.

706 W. Hill, C.

$300/mo. + share of utilities. Available Fall. Month to Month. www.cuforrent.com 217-353-5027 Female for 4 BR. apt. at 3rd and Chalmers. Parking, W/D, furnished, 2 full baths, $400/mo. negotiable. 630-418-0618 or cirone@gmail.com Female grad student, urbana house, on busline, garage, large bedroom. $375, call 217-369-7860. Female grads seeking roommates for quiet Champaign House. $295. 408-768-7107 email jheng@uiuc.edu Female roommate for a condo. Only need to sign 9 month lease. $500/mo. Includes all utilities, cable/internet. W/D. Off campus. Short drive to campus on bus route. 312-493-0889, silva@law.uiuc.edu. Male grad student need roommate for spacious 3 BR. Champaign house. Near 2 buslines. $300/mo + utilities. sjcheng@uiuc.edu Male roommate needed. Furnished apartment $280 + utilities. 2 BR apartment with study room. 3rd floor, blocks from Engineering Quad. 847-514-5000 Need one roommate to share fantastic furnished house at 606 W. Springfield, C. Ted 217-766-5108 Roommate wanted mkoszt1@uiuc.edu

$215/mo.

Roommates wanted to share deluxe furnished 3/ 4 bedroom apartments at 3rd & Clark, C. Individual 1 year lease from $225/ mo. Ted 766-5108.

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S


APARTMENTS

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Furnished

BECKMAN APTS.

6 0 1 -6 0 3 E . C la rk, C . F u rn ish e d 1 B R w /b a lco n y, la u n d ry, so m e fre e u til. 2 m in . fro m th e U n io n . S ta rtin g a t $ 3 8 5 . 344-1306 or 352-4104

CAMPUS 2 BEDROOM

Spacious furnished apartments. 702-704 W Elm *Excellent Campus Location near Lincoln & Green *Ethernet *Laundry *Parking *Balcony *Kitchen/Bar Combination From $660 Roland Realty 351-8900

JU L . 28

IF ALL GOES WELL, IN TWO WEEKS I SHALL STORM THE CITADEL OF HER WOMANHOOD.

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

JOHN STREET APARTMENTS

58 E. John August 2005. Two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwashers, center courtyard, on-site laundry, central air, ethernet available. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 Showings Monday-Friday 10-5 Saturday 11-4

OLD TOWN CHAMPAIGN

510 S. Elm Available Fall 2005. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, dishwasher, W/D, central air/heat, off street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. $555/mo. 841-1996. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

420

APARTMENTS Furnished

420

APARTMENTS Furnished

Champaign 2 Bedrooms

GREAT VALUE

306- 308- 309 White August 2005. 1 & 3 Bedroom furnished apts. Balconies, patios, laundry, dishwashers, off-street parking, ethernet available. 352-3182 or 8411996 anytime, 309 S. First. The University Group www.ugroup96.com

403 E. White - $540/mo. 302 S. Fourth - $540/mo. 405 E. White - $400/mo.

420

Furnished

Great Campus Location 1 bedroom apartment $360/mo. Laundry facility, free parking, shared utilities, available August 1. Call 637-0975.

MJM/Chateau Apartments

APARTMENTS

LANDO PLACE 707 South 6th, C. Large 1 BR. Includes water and trash removal. On-site Laundry. Secured Building. Local phone service and ethernet. Parking Available. From $580/mo. CAMPO RENTAL AGENCY 344-1927

Ask Tenant Union about us 390-2377

Engineering Efficiencies Very Large, Studios/ Efficiencies www.ugroup96.com

352-3182

Furnished one bedrooms and efficiencies from $325, $365, and $395 near John and Second or Healey and Third. 356-1407.

New Building “Lofts on John” One bedroom, unfurnished, W/D, dishwasher, opening August 05 $650/mo. Near John and 2nd. Call 356-1407

Parkview Apartments 121 W. Park, Urbana Efficiency apartments for fall. Includes water, trash removal, on-site laundry. $395/mo. Campo Rental Agency 344-1927.

URBANA

Several one bedrooms: $385, $365 & $350 plus utilities. Sorry no pets. Free parking, A/C. 344-2775

430

Unfurnished 1 bedroom in older home. $625/ mo. Utilities included. 314 S. State St, Champaign. 369-7205

PARK-LIKE SETTING Unf. 2 BR avail. now and/or Aug., A/C, laundry, 101 W. Park, Urbana. $460-$500/month. Weiner Co. 384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com 115 W. WASHINGTON, U

Avail Aug 2005. 1 bedroom apts. Carpet, window a/c, laundry, boiler heat. Rents from $510/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com 2 BEDROOM C/A, Laundry, Quiet, 2 blocks Lin Sq. Bus 10 min. to U of I. $425. 3845460

512 E. Clark, C. Eff. $345-$365 Large furnished efficiency at corner of Clark and Sixth. Parking is $40/month. Includes water & sewer.

hdwd floors, A/C, pkg, w/d hookups $525/month

The Weiner Companies, Ltd.

When you SIGN A LEASE

UNIVERSITY FIELDS 355-1579

606 S. PRAIRIE, C

Huge 1 bedroom apts in quiet Champaign neighborhood near campus and bus line. Perfect for Grad Students. Gas heat, window a/c, free off street parking. Priced $50/mo below competition. From $380/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

205 EAST HEALEY, C

800 W. CHURCH, C.

Renting Aug 2005. Very large 1 bedroom apts. Carpet, Window A/C, High Speed Internet connection avail. Parking avail at $30/mo. Shown Daily 7 days a week. Rents start at $435/mo. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com 407 W Columbia, C 1 bedroom, $460, Available August. New kitchen, new bath, free parking. www.cuforrent.com 217-353-5027

511 W. Nevada, U

Available JULY & AUGUST. 2 BRs. Centrally located near shopping/ transportation. Onsite laundry, offstreet parking. $450/mo. 217-352-8540, 217-355-4608 pm www.faronproperties.com Architects 2 Bdrm with loft, C.A. W.D. Sadorus, 12 mi. south. $600/mo. 398-1998 Clean, quiet, 1 BR. in upscale old town Champaign. Wood floors, Includes parking, water, and garbage. Credit check, references. $400/ mo. 355-8512.

DAWSON PROPERTY MANAGEMENT 359-1221

Quiet. Huge 3 bedroom 1 bath in 1920’s brick building. Sunroom, dining room, screened porch. Hardwood floors. Arched doorways. NO PETS. $995 + utilities. 359-5115.

Classic Apartment 2 BR. avail. now near downtown Champaign laundry, carport, W/A hwd floors $575/mo. The Weiner Companies, Ltd. 384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

Available August: Off campus 1 BR+ near West Side Park in downtown Champaign, prices ranging $390625. Older home character, great light and space. Good study atmosphere.

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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BUZZ STAFF v o l u m e

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FALL 2005 Smith Apartments 384-1925

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Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

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INTRO

The Local Sniff • Seth Fein This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening Editor’s Note • Paul Wagner First Things First • Michael Coulter

AROUND TOWN Demolition derby • Todd Swiss

LISTEN, HEAR

Fall 2005

Location

Bedrooms

102 E. Gregory, C 202 E. John, C 610 E. Stoughton, C 910 & 910.5 S. Locust, C 807 W. Oregon, U 908 S. Lincoln, U

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EDITOR’S NOTE L

1009 W. Clark, U 2 bedroom $600-620

3

Worden Martin Is Champaign’s #1 Subaru Dealer

Intonation • Fred Koschmann & Kyle Gorman (Th)ink • Keef Knight Sound Ground #86 • Todd J. Hunter Kaiser Chiefs review • Claire Napier Hurly-Burly • Cornelia Boonman

First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50

PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

604 W. Stoughton, U 2 bedroom, 2 bath, W/D, Deluxe Furnished, King size bed, Roll-in shower $910

buzz weekly •

IT'S PART OF A TRILOGY, A MUSICAL TRILOGY I'M WORKING ON IN D MINOR WHICH IS THE SADDEST OF ALL KEYS, I FIND,

© Illini Media Company 2005 Peaceful and quiet off-campus 1 and 2 BR apartments starting at $475. www.gardencourts.com 359-4652.

117 Sterling Court, Savoy

www.collegeparkweb.com

JU L . 28

|1-5|

701 W. Indiana. 2 BR. 1000+ sq. ft Living room, hardwood floors, full basement. Duplex. Avail. Aug. 1. Great location. 384-0333.

$250 Visa Card $20 Off Your Monthly Rent

430

Unfurnished

2 Bedroom Large Townhouses. Most Utilities Paid at 707 W. California. $595. Phone 493-6483, 3845668.

view photos and interiors at www.hpmapts.com

or

A U G . 3 , 2 OO5

APARTMENTS

2 BR DUPLEX IN URBANA APARTMENTS

Heritage Property Management, Inc. 1206 S. Randolph, Suite B Ch. (217) 351.1803

56/58 E. Healey, C 1BR $390-$425 Furnished apts with patios or balconies.Heat paid. Parkingis $35/ month. On-site laundry.

430

Unfurnished

All Units: Carpet, A/C, Appliances Cable & Internet Ready Parking Available On-Site Laundry

APARTMENTS

THE

18 • b u z z w e e k l y

ast week Coulter talked about the perks of certain jobs. But he failed to address the biggest perk, in my opinion: Working with cool people who you get along with. Jobs can be made or destroyed based solely upon your coworkers. My job at camp this year is a perfect example. The other counselors at my camp site and I get along extremely well. Dare I say, we get along better as a staff than all other staffs that I’ve worked with for any job. And I don’t even know why.We’re all very different people, coming from different backgrounds, going to different schools, majoring in different things, picking different campers as our favorites, but we always have a great time when we’re together, both at work and away from work. Hell, we scheduled a Thursday Night Camp Staff Drinking Club for the six of us so we assured ourselves time outside of camp to get sloshed. We entered a dodgeball tournament together. We make great jokes together at camp. Neal and I think so similarly that we started something we like to call Man Trust. We constantly laugh, and, together, we make camp incredibly fun. Unfortunately, one of the staffers was unexpectedly forced to resign from her position, and her loss has put the rest of us into a state of confusion and sadness.The great atmosphere and ban-

ter that we shared was hurt, and, although the rest of us still get along really well, it just isn’t the same. The girl that resigned was my best friend at camp, my camp buddy, if you will, and the job just isn’t the same without her. So to Neal, Brooke,Victor and Emmie, I’m sorry for being a bit off this week.To Sarah, I miss you at camp. But enough of that sad crap. Meeting new people at work can be fun, too. I recently befriended some lifeguards and other camp staff from different camp sites. Hell, I even hang out with one of them, and it makes going to work all the better. So please, when looking for a job or hiring for a job, look for people who’ll mesh with the rest of the staff; it’ll make everyone’s lives better. I’m a big fan of high-fives and handshakes. If you know me, we probably have some kind of unique handshake, or I high-five you all the time. They’re nonsensical and fun. But Tuesday at the pool, when I offered up a high-five to Becky, my lifeguard buddy (who better be reading this and emailing me after), she reluctantly accepted, asking me if she was one of my little-kid campers. But high-fives are universally awesome! As are handshakes.You can supposedly learn about people through high-fives and handshakes, but I think that’s a bunch of crap. Handshakes are made to be silly and unique, not to impress and make first impressions, but that’s just me. And although it may be childish, nothing beats a chest bump after a solid high-five. Nothing. - Paul

344-0700 • www.GabesPlace.com s o u n d s

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4 •

buzz weekly

coulter

PEOPLE WEEP INSTANTLY WHEN THEY HEAR IT, AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.

first things first

Someone turn down the damn heat

JU L . 28

A U G . 3 , 2 OO5

I try not to think too much

about the afterlife. Let’s face it, if all those creepy Christians, or even Dante, are right, a guy like myself is probably gonna be in a pretty bad place. I don’t really know much about hell, but I think it’s inhabited by a lot of tortured souls howling for relief. It is miserable beyond understanding. Everyone hates each other and everyone is sweating their asses off. It’s about 200 degrees and everything is burning. It’s like that day after day after day. Oh, and there’s also the devil running around poking everyone in the ass with his pitchfork. Well, welcome to hell, everyone. Sure, maybe the devil isn’t here poking us, but besides that, the weather lately seems like a promise of things to come. It’s hot, damned hot, and it sure as shit feels like hell. Not to seem like a candy-ass, but how much of this hot-assed weather are we supposed to take? I mean, sticking popsicles up your ass all day long is supposed to be fun, not a matter of self-preservation. As I write this on Sunday morning, it’s already about 100 degrees. Yep, still morning and it’s 100 degrees.The overnight low was 78

degrees.Whatever, to call 78 degrees “a low” is sort of abandoning the definition of the word. My friend, Eddie, sat in his yard and cooked rib eyes under his armpits yesterday afternoon, all while grilling potatoes on his stomach. The guy’s a one-man cooking station over there. I know they always say not to kill the messenger, but if I hear one more weatherperson on TV tell me it’s a scorcher out there, I swear I’m gonna freaking snap. I don’t even find the dog cute when it’s this hot, so your phony little weathercast isn’t gonna make me smile in the least. Why are you weatherpeople even here at this point? I mean, I suppose you’re handy if the weather is going to change, but until that glorious day, you’re just getting on my nerves. I don’t need someone with a map of Illinois superimposed behind them to tell me it’s hot. I know it’s freaking hot, moron. So, whatever, maybe we shouldn’t kill the messenger, but I tell you what, I bet I’d feel a whole lot better if I beat one of them about the head for a couple of minutes. While we’re on that subject, for shit’s sake, quit sending reporters out there during terrible weather.Yeah, they’re cute and original as they stand in front of a thermometer with sweat dripping down their faces telling us viewers it’s hot outside.We’re

not sadists out there in TV land. We don’t enjoy seeing others suffer through intense heat while we watch the news from our air-conditioned living rooms. It’s just enough already. Hey, I have an idea. I’m also pretty sick of listening to Donald Rumsfeld talk about Iraq every night on the news, so instead, let’s have him do the weather until it cools off. I mean, like him or not, he does put a happy spin on whatever he’s talking about, so it’d be an improvement. “Well, yes, the temperatures are reaching upwards of 100 degrees and people are dying, but remember, it’s a wet heat and it’s a long summer and we’re really right where we need to be, um, weatherwise.” Sure, I’m pissed, but what the hell do I know. I was a big advocate of this whole “global warming” thing during the winter. In fact, I was using up aerosol cans as fast as I could trying to punch a hole in the ozone so I might not have to scrape my car windows during an ice storm in January. Geez Louise, I didn’t know global warming also was a factor in the summertime. Is there any way I can have some of that hairspray back until at least the fall? Friends who moved away used to ask me why I still lived here in Illinois. One of my favorite stock answers was because I really enjoyed the

A U G . 3 , 2 OO5

410

APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished

And turn Donald Rumsfeld into a local weatherman while you’re at it MICHAEL COULTER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

JU L . 28

410

APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished

change of the seasons. Well, let me tell you, it’s gonna be pretty hard to stick with that answer much longer.“Um, yes, I really enjoy the change of the seasons, especially that one time in May when the temperature rises above freezing for about three days, you know, right before it goes all the way up to 100 until October when it’s once again nice for about three days and then turns back to freezing.Yeah, that’s pretty sweet, all right.” Michael Coulter There’s that old saying that is a videographeveryone talks about the weath- er, comedian er but no one ever does any- and sort of a thing about it. Yeah, that’s not smart-ass. But especially funny to me at this we love him anymoment either, but seriously, way, and don’t what are we supposed to do? I’ll know why. be the first guy to say moving to Canada is looking like a better and better idea. I used to think that because of politics, now it’s simply because of climate. As I said earlier, I wrote this on Sunday morning and it was hotter than a bastard. If by some miracle of nature it cools off by the time this is published on Thursday, I apologize for all my ranting. Sometimes the heat makes people do crazy things.

217-352-8540 217-355-4608 (evenings) www.faronproperties.com EXECUTIVE LOFT 201 S. Wright St., Champaign. Adjacent to Engineering campus. Loft bedroom, security parking, balcony, A/C, laundry. Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012

Vintage Home in Dynamic Location 3 BR apts. avail. mid-August 601 W. Green, U-2 blocks from Lincoln $990/mo. includes utilities The Weiner Companies, Ltd. 384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

WESTGATE

410

APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished

NEAR DOWNTOWN & WESTSIDE PARK

NO BULL!

Free Best Buy and Campus Tan gift certificate with each signed lease! Remodeled apartments that redefine campus living. 3 and 4 bedroom apartments available at 810 S. Oak St. between John and Daniel in Champaign. 3 bedroom apartment at $999/mo. (only $333 per roommate!) 4 bedroom apartment at $999/mo. (less than $250 per roommate!) High-speed internet, water, and trash included! Laundry in building. NINE MONTH LEASES NEGOTIABLE

217-384-6930

www.johnsmithproperties.com

URBANA

Quiet 2 Bedroom Townhouse 1000 SF. $650- 685, Campus Bus. CA, DW, yard, laundry. 398-1998.

APARTMENTS

• Superior • Clean 1 & 2 Bedrooms management • Dependable, 24hr. NOW LEASING • Short-term Leases maintenance FOR FALL (limited availability) • 24 Hour Courtesy • Free Parking Gate House • On Busline

359-5330 359-5330

1418 LINCOLNSHIRE, SW CHAMPAIGN 2 BR, water furn. $495/mo LOCATION HAS: central air, laundry facilities, parking, near busline 352-3642, 356-0660

Sunnycrest Apartments 1717 E. Florida, U Large 1 and 2 BR apartments. Includes water and parking, on-site laundry, pool. Starting @ $450/mo. Campo Rental Agency 344-1927.

UNIQUE

Classic style 2 bedroom, quiet neighborhood, near Cafe Paradiso. Laundry, free parking. Sorry no pets, no smoking. 12 mo. lease, 2 available $365 & $585 plus utilities. 3442775

Hours: M-F 9-6 Sat 9-1 • www.westgateapts.net

Available Fall. 1 bedroom loft apartment. Fully equipped. Balcony, parking. 409 W. Green. Call Hardwick Apartments, 356-5272 or 621-1012.

APARTMENTS

420

APARTMENTS Furnished

No Campus Hassle

COURTYARD ON RANDOLPH 713 S. Randolph,C. Now renting for Fall. Spacious, 2 & 3 bedrooms from $618. Near campus, downtown Champaign. Includes cable, parking, water. Has laundry facilities and seasonal pool.

buzz weekly •

HOW CAN MEN POSSIBLY USE SEX TO GET WHAT THEY WANT? SEX IS WHAT WE WANT.

420

Furnished

Furnished

104 E. Armory, C.

209 & 211 E. Clark, C. August 2005 rentals. 2 and 4 BR apartments available. Furnished. Call Green Street Realty 356-8750.

105 E. GREEN, C

Available for Fall 2005

Studio apts avail Aug 2005. Carpet, electric heat, wall a/c units, off street parking avail, laundry Ethernet connection avail. Rents from $295/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1107 S. EUCLID, C

Aug 2005 rental. Near Armory, IMPE and Snack Bar. 1 bedroom apts. Window A/C, Gas Heat, laundry. Parking $35/mo. Rents start at $395/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1005 S. SECOND, C

Efficiencies. Available now and Fall 2005. Secured building. Private parking. Laundry on site, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

1006 S. 3RD, C.

Aug 2005. 1 bedroom. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

3 & 4 BR

-Prime location -Built-in washer/dryer -Jet spas -14’ Cathedral ceilings 59 John E., Champaign- Everything is new in this bright new building. 4 bedrooms with spa tubs and cathedral ceilings. W/D in each unit. Lofted bedroom with private bath. $995. LAST ONE! Call Allison Today! www.ramshaw.com (217)359-6400

111 E. Healey, Champaign Available now and Fall 2005. Extra large 1 bd and efficiencies. Prices ranging from $375-485. Off-street parking, security building, & 5 floor plans to choose from. Make your appointment today!

304 & 306 E. Clark, C Castle Apartments

3 blocks to Engineering Quad. 3 BR $690, 4 BR $890. C/A, ceiling fan, dishwasher, washer/dryer in unit. 384-1099, castle_apartments@ameritech.net

307 & 310 E. White 307 & 309 Clark

Apartments 111 S. Lincoln, U. 2 Br @ $765/mo *670 sp. ft *Balcony *Parking avail *Microwave *Dishwasher

Fall 2005. Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Secured building. $320/month. Available June 1 and August ‘05. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 or (217)841-3028

509 E. White, C.

Aug. 2005. Large 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

For Info: (217) 344-3008 911 W. Springfield, U. BaileyApartments.com

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

311 E. WHITE, C

Avail Aug 2005. Large furnished efficiencies close to Beckman Center. Rent starts at $325/mo. Parking avail at $30/mo. Window A/C, carpet, High Speed Internet connection avail. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

9.5 MONTH LEASE POSSIBLE Furnished efficiency at

503 E. Clark, C., avail. 8/18/05. $340-$370 month Weiner Co. 384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

503- 505- 508 E. White

301 E. White, C. 2 BR apartment avaiable mid- August, includes water and parking. $625/mo. Campo Rental Agency 344-1927.

Bailey

420

APARTMENTS Furnished

3 & 4 bedroom apartment, 2 baths. All new furniture. Great Location. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

JTS Properties 328-4284

1 bedroom Basement Apt. on campus. $400/mo. Utilities Paid. 51 E. Chalmers, Ch., Craig 337-0988.

420

APARTMENTS

17

Now & Fall 2005 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kenny, 493-0429. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

508, 510 & 512 E. Stoughton, C.

509 W. MAIN, U.

Quiet Urbana location very close to campus avail for Aug 2005. 1 BR apts. Rents start at $405/mo. Carpet, laundry facilities, window A/C, storage, parking avail at $25/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

602 E. Stoughton

Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet, and parking available. Must see!! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 604 E. White, C. Security Entrance For Fall 2005, Large 1 bedroom furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com

610 W. Washington St., U. Very large 3 BR. hardwood floors, fireplace. 2 blocks from campus. Quiet residential neighborhood. Water and garbage included. Off-street lighted parking. 12 month lease. Available Aug. 1. No pets. Applications taken. $895/mo. 367-8603, 8405225.

Huge 2 bedroom apts. Fantastic location, close to Engineering Computer Science. Gas heat, A/C, carpet, laundry, off street parking @$25/ mo. Bargain Rent from $425/ mo. Best Deal on Campus. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

611 W. Church St., C. Beautiful 2 BR. in security locked building. Laundry facilities. Heat, hot water, sanitary garbage included. Parking spot in lighted off-street parking. Extra storage, dishwasher, central air. Sound & fire proof. No pets. applications taken. Available Aug. 1. $595/mo. 367-8603, 8405225

509 E. Clark 1 block from Beckman. Large Efficiencies. Security doors. Parking. Internet ready. Furnished. NEW RENOVATIONS! 377-5971. www.509eclark.com

Furnished Apartment in quiet offcampus house. New paint and carpet. Free parking.

509 Stoughton

Near Grainger, Spacious 2 bedrooms, ethernet, parking. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

618 W. Green, C.

Large 1 BR $500/mo Heat, water and gas paid. 356-2018

705 W. High St., U

Very quiet large studio in old house. NO PETS. $400+ some utilities. 359-5115

ADVANTAGE PROPERTIES C-U Formerly Wakeland Rentals

DON’T MISS OUT ON THESE DELUXE APARTMENTS! Leasing for Fall 2005 SPRING SPECIALS!

No Security Deposit $50 Off Application Fee $50 Look & Lease Drawing on 6/30/05 for: • MP3 Player • Digital Camcorder • Mobile Entertainment System • and other cool prizes!

301 E. Clark, C.

2

402 N. Gregory, U.

404 E. Clark, C.

3

406 Elm/201 Grove, U. 1

503 E. Stoughton, C.

3

502, 504 W. Elm, U.

Studio

510 E. White, C.

2

506 W. Elm, U.

3

608 E. White, C.

3

1009 W. Stoughton, U. 2,4

2302 W. John

1102 E. Colorado, U.

(brand new),C. 108 N. Busey, U.

2 2 (House)

2

2,3,4

1301 Harding/1302 Brighton (new), U.

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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401 W. Springfield, U.

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(new), U. 2008 S. Vawter, U.

1 left 1 left 1 left 1 left 1 left

1007 W. Main 1008 W. Main *813 W. Main 209 W. Griggs 1004 W. Main

$890 $870 $700 $900 $810

*One parking spot included

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306-510 E. Michigan, U. 1,2,3 1806 Cottage Grove 105 S. Wright, C.

Two Bedroom Apartments

2 3,4

303 E. Green, Champaign www.cpm-apts.com cpm@cpm-apts.com Office Hours: Mon-Thurs: 9-6, Fri: 9-5, Sat: 11-3

We encourage you to check with the U of I Tenant Union before signing a lease!

217-344-0394 www.advproperties.com

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S


16 • b u z z w e e k l y PHONE: 217/337-8337 DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

HELP WANTED

INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

DEADLINE:

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

RATES: Billed rate: 35¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 28¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free. Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

JU L . 28

HER LIPS WERE SAYING NO, BUT HER EYES WERE SAYING READ MY LIPS.

Employment 000 HELP WANTED

Part Time

Full Time Administrative Assistant/ Paralegal for a litigation firm. The law office of Robert G. Kirchner is now seeking an Administrative Assistant/ Paralegal with demonstrated communication, organizational, an analytical skills to assist in the preparation of civil and criminal matters for Trial; extensive client contact; and an ability to prepare documents utilizing computer- based resources, including competency with WordPerfect software. A bachelor’s degree or legal experience is required. For consideration, please send your resume and cover letter indicating contact information, availability and compensation requirements to 100 Trade Centre Drive, Suite 402. Champaign, Illinois 61820.

Full time Nanny for 3 boys. Ages 7,10,12. M-F, would have own bedroom, garage space, full meals included. August 1st thru August 2006. 708-533-7602 Looking for experienced manager to manage restaurant / bar in Champaign. Call 847-401-3388

RESERVATIONIST

Campus Bus Co. needs full time 9am-5pm M-F, Selling tickets from campus office. 352-6682

HELP WANTED

Ag/ AnSci/ Vet Get great experience with pets and animal nutrition as a part-time sales clerk for Prairieland Feeds. Knowledge of pets/ horses helpful. Some heavy lifting required. Flexible hours. Shawn 352-2232.

Graphic Designers Earn money and gain experience with a flexible schedule at the Illini Media Production Dept. A qualified candidate will be a U of I student, have a strong sense of design and the ability to work in a fast- paced but fun environment. Experience in Photoshop, Illustrator & InDesign a plus. We produce ads for the Daily Illini and Buzz as well as marketing materials for the various branches of Illini Media. For more information contact jonhuff@illinimedia.com

HEEL TO TOE Looking for energetic, enthusiastic, outgoing, helpful, kind, considerate, hardworking people who have a burning desire to sell comfort footwear. Or people who can work days. Hours avail. Mon-Sat 9 am - 6 pm. NO EVENING HOURS. Please apply in person.

JOE’S BREWERY

Now accepting applications for line cook positions. Please apply in person, 706 S. Fifth, Champaign. Ask for Mark.

035

HELP WANTED Summer Jobs

$8.25/HR. STARTING Office and Warehouse Associate. Flexible hours, Meyer Drapery 330 N. Neil. Downtown Champaign. Apply in person or send resume. 3525318.

Temporary Workers Needed Cleaning, painting, general labor. Good pay and overtime possible. Apply at Roland Realty. 901 S. First, Champaign. 328-1226.

020

HELP WANTED

010

030

Full/Part Time

Earn $5000 as an egg donor. Must be 20-29 and a non-smoker. Please call Alternative Reproductive Resources at 773-327-7315 or 847446-1001 to learn how you can help a family fulfill its dreams. Harvest help on organic vegetable farm. Now-Nov. 1. Full/ Part time positions. 643-2031.

Home health care provider. $10/ hour. 24 hours $150. Will clean, cook, run errands and help with personal care. State Certified. Please call 493-7830

100

JILLIAN’S

Help wanted, full/ part-time EXPERIENCED servers and bartenders, kitchen staff needed, and hosts/ hostesses. Apply in Person. 1201 S. Neil St, Champaign Jillian’s is an equal opportunity employer. We hire without regard to sex, race, age, religion, national origin, or disability. All applicants will be considered for all positions regardless of sex, race, age, religion, national origin, or disability.

MARKETING, SALES & SPECIAL PROJECTS

Do something you’ll love at the LARRY KANFER GALLERY ---Featuring PrairiescapesŽ and other nationally acclaimed images by Larry Kanfer. Specializing in art consulting, framing and superior customer service. Send resume & references to gallery@kanfer.com

Wanted/Offered ESL English tutoring available an experienced American. I with either adults or children. tact Paul at 217-637-5923 or lishtutor4u@yahoo.com

from work Coneng-

Merchandise 200

Apartments Furnished/Unfurnished

020

PAINTERS

Part Time Part- time babysitter, flexible hours. Free lodging, terms negotiable. 3591485.

Students needed to paint campus apartments in August. $9/hr. Apply at Roland Realty, 212 East Green, C. 8-5 M-F.

Zorba’s now hiring for fall semester. must be able to start in early August. Flexible schedule. Lunches, evenings and weekends. Free food during shift. Apply at Zorba’s 627 E. Green St. 344-0710.

1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $545 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking. Fall 04, 367-6626

Need to sell something? Place a classified ad! Just call 337.8337 • 2 Bedrooms 308 E. Armory 312 E. White Property Management 104 E. John 103 E. Stoughton 105 S. Fourth • Efficiencies 210/208 E. White 1103 S. Euclid • 3 Bedrooms • 1 Bedrooms 807 S. Locust 508 S. First 210/208 E. White 108 W. Charles 312 E. White 312 E. White 104 E. John 105 S. Fourth 104 E. John • 4 Bedrooms 103 E. Stoughton 807 S. Locust 210/208 E. White

Johnson Rentals

Fall 2005 Apartments

Call for an appointment

351-1767

www.johnsonrentals.com rentals@johnsonrentals.com

2 BEDROOMS 2 BATHROOMS! Holy Bleep! Beautifully furnished or unfurnished apartments located on 2 bus lines. 903 N. Lincoln Ave, Urbana. Washer and Dryer in apartment. Dishwasher, fireplace, balcony. FROM $790/MONTH & FREE CABLE. For showing contact: John Smith Property Management 217-384-6930 www.johnsmithproperties.com

3 BEDROOM TOWNHOUSE HESSEL PARK, August 1 615 W. Kirby CA, DW, CARPORT, ELEGANT. 1600 SQ. FT. $1450 398-1998 www.lincolnshireprop.com

CENTRAL PARK LOFTS

410

1 BR. Apartments. 108 E. Stoughton, C. Parking Included Fall ‘05. $435/ month. 384-0333. 408 E. Elm. Very nice 1 or 2 bedrooms. Near Lincoln Square, Ample Parking. Near Bus. Water, trash, year lease. No Pets. $450/mo. 3569288.

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712 West Illinois- Totally Remodeled. Hardwood floors, fireplace, dining room, loft. Washer/ Dryer, most utilities, 1 or 2 Bath. 2 BR- $550, 3 BR- $900- $1050. 637-2111

808 S. LINCOLN, U

Renting Aug 2005. Classic older building with Furnished 2 bedrooms across from Jimmy John’s on Lincoln Ave. Near Krannert, Law School, Music, etc. Features hardwood floors in upper units, laundry on site, High Speed Internet connection avail. Parking $45/mo. Shown 7 days a week. 2 BR from $450(F) BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Available for Fall

- BEAUTIFUL PARK VIEWS - COMPLETELY REMODELED LOCATED AT 305 W. PARK, 403 W. PARK & 405 W. PARK IN URBANA, IL

Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550 per month. 367-6626.

CLOSE TO ENGINEERING CAMPUS CLOSE TO CARLE HOSPITAL

4H *UL

Renting August 2005. 1 bedroom apts from $475/mo. Gas Heat, Central A/C, laundry Facilities. Parking included. To furnish $50/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

407 E. University. Luxury one bedrooms, fully equipped- microwave, washer/dryer in-unit. Security building with elevator. Balconies, underground parking. Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012

1 BEDROOMS FROM $450.00 2 BEDROOMS FROM $470.00

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Available now. Efficiencies 1, 2, 3 bedrooms. $390- $750/mo. 7664746.

DAYS ARTISTS 5NDER ROOF %XPERIENCE THE 7ALL TO 7ALL 'UITAR &ESTIVAL AT +RANNERT #ENTER 4AJ -AHAL 0AT -ETHENY 4RIO WITH #HRISTIAN -C"RIDE AND !NTONIO 3ANCHEZ $AN :ANES $ANIEL ,ANOIS 3ERGIO AND /DAIR !SSAD "ILL &RISELL 2ORY "LOCK !NDY 3UMMERS 6ERNON 2EID -AMADOU $IABATE *ESSE (ARRIS 3IMON 3HAHEEN

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CALL KEN AT 898-5894 BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480. 1 Br. $370 2 BR. $470 3 BR. $750 4 BR $755 Campus. 367-6626.

Sunnycrest Apts

3EPTEMBER /CTOBER

Spacious 1 BR, a/c, laundry, free parking, on bus-line near shopping Starting at $385

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Quality apartments and houses for rent • Many pet-friendly locations • Furnished AND Unfurnished units • 9 month leases negotiable at some locations

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• On-campus or off-campus • Excellent Tenant Union record • Weekend/evening showings by appointment

CALL US AT (217) 384-6930 VIEW OUR LISTINGS @ www.johnsmithproperties.com

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buzz weekly •

ENJOY. COME ON. I'M NOT ASKING, I'M TELLING WITH THIS. KICK MY ASS.

Renting Aug 2005. 2 Bedroom Townhouses Furnished $600/mo. Unfurnished $580/mo. 2 bedroom apts Furnished $525/mo. Parking optional, Central A/C, Carpet, laundry facilities, Gas Heat, Ethernet connection avail. Showing 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1st & Green location. New 2 Bedroom w/Loft skylights. Washer/Dryer, Deck, Free parking. $700/mon. Aug. to Aug. 202-7070

400

APARTMENTS

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609 W. MAIN, U.

MUSIC INSTRUMENTS 245 Alto Saxophone for Sale. Like New. Model YAS475 (Yamaha) $650 OBO, includes extra accessories. Call Allison 217-253-3654, 217-6497521

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Furnished/Unfurnished

• Apartments • Houses • Duplexes • 1 BR/2 BR/ 3BR ON AND OFF CAMPUS SEE FEATURED LANDLORDS IN DI APT. SEARCH PPM, Inc. Call 351-1800 www.ppmrent.com

150

TUTORING

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APARTMENTS

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Services

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.ORTH AND +RANNERT #ENTER WORKING TOGETHER TO PUT #HAMPAIGN #OUNTY S CULTURE ON THE MAP

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“I think it appeals to your raw instincts . I’m sure everyone

f r e e

would like to take a car out and stomp it in the ground. It gives

GEMINI

people a chance to take their frustration out and to have

fun at the same time. It appeals to your animal instincts.” Bob Ferguson • Former Indiana Derby Champion

ARIES

PHOTOS • DAVID SOLANA

DEMOLITION DERBY DRIVES FANS TO COUNTY FAIR

A car takes itself out of the demolition derby with a direct hit. TODD SWISS

W

STAFF WRITER

hite smoke, dirt and exhaust filled the air. There was a brief moment of silence just after the roaring engines had died down and the cheers of approval and satisfaction from the audience in the grandstand arrived. The championship heat of Friday night’s demolition derby had just come to an exciting conclusion and everyone got their money’s worth of classic county-fair entertainment. Although the number of participants was down from previous years, that didn’t stop the drivers from creating a completely enjoyable experience for everyone involved. In six heats of unabashed destruction, over 30 drivers crashed and smashed into each other in hopes of winning

the $600 grand prize or placing in the next five positions, which also guaranteed prize money. Even though no one would have refused the money, trophies or the thrill of victory, those three things were not the true focus of many of the drivers. Most of them were there just for the intense fun and excitement of playing a grown-up version of bumper cars. The field of drivers in this particular event was more diverse than one would expect. Friday’s event included two women, a rarity in driving sports, one of whom reached the championship round. Although most of the drivers lived in the Champaign-Urbana area, contestants

TAU RU S

came from as far away as Florida, Texas and Kentucky. The fact that people would travel such distances just to crash cars gives some insight into how much they truly love demolition derbies. Just a half hour before the first heat was to begin, crews were busy making last-minute adjustments to their drivers’ windowless cars and trucks. Abandoning more sophisticated tools, the crews worked furiously on the vehicles with sledgehammers, blowtorches and sheets of scrap metal to strengthen and reinforce the sections that were most susceptible to collisions of speeds up to 30 miles per hour. Metal beams were added and seats were removed. These vehicles are not meant for passengers. While the crews were working hard, many of the drivers decided to sit back and relax before entering the dirt ring with calculated recklessness. Steve Coplan of Rantoul, who is a seven-year veteran of demolition derbies, was doing just that. He was relaxing on a folding chair near a friend who was also competing in a matter of minutes. Coplan joked that he was a doctor before confessing that he was not actually a physician, but really worked for FedEx.When asked if he had ever won, he just laughed and blamed his long losing streak on bad luck and the logs that outline the dirt ring. Like many of the drivers, Coplan was just there for fun and he surely seemed to be enjoying himself. Not only was this year’s derby a competition between friends and acquaintances, it also turned out to be a family affair. Beth Schrock came all the way from McKinney, Texas, to try to smash her way to the final round in hopes of placing in the top six. Schrock, a personal trainer by day, was driving in her second demolition derby. Her brother, Kenny, an electrician from St. Joseph, was participating for the fifth straight year. Like Coplan, the Schrocks were in it for fun, but wouldn’t mind doing well and taking home some cash as an added bonus. The best that Kenny Schrock had done in a previous demolition derby was a sixth-place finish. Just before the first heat, there was a driver’s meeting where the ground rules were laid.The rules are basically set to maximize safety and entertainment value for the audience.The main rule prohibited crashing into the driver’s door of the other vehicles. Other rules included one that forbid teamwork and another one that required all participants to make an effort to make contact with the other vehicles to ensure an action-filled show for everyone.

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

(March 21-April 19)

Have you been dreaming of frogs, worms, and potted plants? Researchers have found that pregnant women have an inordinate number of encounters with those three things during their sleep-time adventures. And while you may not technically be carrying a developing baby inside you, you are at least gestating a brainchild. Like a woman who will give birth in the not-too-distant future, you're both delicate and strong, a bit lumbering but radiantly graceful, sometimes out of sorts but often wiser than you've ever been.

7

s c e n e

(April 20-May 20)

As Deputy Defense Secretary, Paul Wolfowitz was a key part of the team that planned America's invasion of Iraq in 2003. These days he's got a new gig, President of the World Bank, and prefers not to be distracted by the Downing Street memo and other ever-growing evidence that the war was built on faulty and deceitful assumptions. "There will be a time and place to talk about history," he has said, "but I really don't believe it's now." Wolfowitz should be your anti-role model in the coming week, Taurus. This is the time and this is the place for you to talk and think about your own personal history in exhaustive detail.

s o u n d s

f r o m

30 Pre-Windows system 31 Outdoor job that sucks on account of the costume 36 "I agree with that" 37 1995 pop hit "As ___ Me Down" 38 Job where you may be stuck behind an open grill 44 College deg. for future high school coaches, maybe 45 Ranch ending? 46 Still around 47 Tea that literally means "black dragon" 50 Gp. that includes Venezuela, Qatar and Libya 53 Fall behind 54 Job that may have you dressing ahead for the winter while shooting

t h e

s c e n e

a s t r o l o g y

what ’s your sign?

(May 21-June 20)

According to author Truman Capote, "It's a scientific fact that if you stay in California, you lose one point of IQ for every year." I hope he was wrong, since it would mean my IQ has already declined 28 points since I moved to the West Coast in 1977. But even if his theory is correct, and you're a Gemini who lives in California, you'll be able to recover some of your lost intelligence in the coming weeks. That's because the current astrological configurations virtually guarantee that you'll be getting smarter, and probably wiser as well. As for you Twins living outside of California, you can expect to soar as close to the genius level as you ever have.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

Emily Dickinson had a boundless imagination and an intense craving for privacy. She wrote nearly 1800 poems, but kept them to herself, stashing most of them in a trunk belonging to her maid. Only seven of them were published while she was alive. Why did she hide the brilliant and prolific outpouring of her soul? No one really knows. Let's make sure you don't follow her example, Cancerian. In my astrological opinion, it's high time for you to begin revealing at least some of the incredible beauty that you conceal from the world. When you look back at this period of your life 40 years from now, maybe you'll say, "That was the turning point, when I stopped being such a closely guarded secret."

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

"The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses," wrote Carl Sagan. "They laughed at Columbus and they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown." I bring this to your attention, Leo, because your bright ideas may be met with skeptical amusement in the coming week. Is that because they're in the Wright brothers' category or more like Bozo's?

crossword

jonesin crossword puzzle

Across 1 Pate de foie ___ 5 Amount on a tag 9 Mr. in the vending machine 13 Jenna Jameson forte 14 It starts when the curtain goes up 15 "Excuse ___..." (polite request) 16 Gym job that'll make you sweat, with 58across 18 Where Natalee disappeared 19 Job where you deal with asphalt fumes 21 Drive-thru visitor 24 Like a stoner's thoughts 25 Card game beloved by Howard Dean 26 Acrobat maker 28 ___ in "Edward"

w i l l

in the summer Levy imposer See 16-across How hair may stand Cry of victory In ___ of (replacing) Eliot portrayed in "The Untouchables" 66 Mafia bosses 67 Garden pest 57 58 62 63 64 65

Down 1 Nav. system 2 Turn bad 3 Live and breathe 4 Electronica group behind that "I've got the power!" music sample 5 Get to the turkey 6 Suburb west of Orlando 7 Walked all over 8 "Dark Side of the

Moon" track with all the clocks 9 Birdcage fixture 10 Enthusiastic answer 11 Little household trinket 12 Barroom melees 15 Class that's "hard," according to a talking Barbie doll 17 Words sometimes seen before "TV" 20 Button on old cash registers 21 Half-___ latte 22 Tooth doctor's gp. 23 Icelandic band Sigur ___ 27 Riboflavin's number 29 In the thick of 32 Sandinista leader Daniel 33 Scratch-n-sniff emanation 34 Muslim fighter in the Crusades 35 Combining form meaning "circular" 38 Gonzaga University's city 39 Spiral shapes 40 It's on the first floor of a motel 41 Substance for slippery wrestling 42 Eggs 43 Beer holder 44 City where you'd hear "wicked retahded" 48 Jesse who shined in Berlin 49 Pharrell Williams's rap group 51 Put a ___ (brew coffee) 52 Blissful spots 55 River ___ (old Atari game) 56 Substances collectively called "the bad cholesterol" 59 Feel off 60 Original, to Orff 61 Pull Answers pg. 11

I suspect they'll actually be a mix of both--half-ingenious and half-cracked. Your job is to be ruthlessly honest as you figure out which are which.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Last June in Ethiopia, seven men kidnapped a 12-year-old girl and held her in a remote wilderness for seven days. Then a miracle occurred. Three lions sprang out of nowhere and chased the abductors away. They protected the girl until a search team arrived, then slipped away. "The lions stood guard until we found her and then they just left her like a gift and went back into the forest," said one of the rescuers. I've told you this story, Virgo, because I believe it has metaphorical resemblances to an adventure you're in the middle of.

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

There would be no apples if it weren't for the bees that pollinate apple blossoms. Likewise, chocolate wouldn't exist wit out the flies that pollinate the flowers of the cacao tree. In the coming week, Libra, I encourage you to imagine you're analogous to those bees and flies--a social pollinator who spreads good influences from group to group and connects people who should be allies. In addition, I'd like you to imagine you're cooking up metaphorical versions of chocolate mousse and apple pie. In other words, make it your goal to generate delicious effects that are both gourmet and down to earth. You might also want to be like another pollinator, bats. They ensure the fruitfulness of agave plants and hence are responsible for tequila.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Pioneer cartoonist Walt Disney had no doubts about what inspired his greatest ardor. "I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I've ever known," he said. My sculptor friend Rachel has a similar relationship with her art. "I don't have time for boyfriends," she told me. "Men just distract me from my work, which is the only thing that gives me unconditional joy." I suggest that in the coming weeks you make Walt and Rachel your role models, Scorpio. What form of creative selfexpression inspires as much of your passion as your drive for romantic intimacy? Feed it with the same fervor you summon when you're infatuated with a new lover.

S AG I T TA R I U S

(Nov. 22-Dec.21)

A few weeks ago I went to the Warped Tour, an outdoor music festival featuring 80 rock and punk bands on ten different stages. Pummeled nonstop in mosh pits full of flailing dancers in the 100-degree heat, basking in the blasts of guitars, drums, and vocals roaring at jet-engine volumes, showered

j u l y

2 8

-

a u g u s t

3

by saliva and sweat from the frenzied musicians, I had a religious experience. On the one hand, unbridled chaos seemed to be raging all around me. On the other hand, I felt perfectly safe and thoroughly entertained. I was also serenely amused by the knowledge that everyone was there primarily to play and have fun. That's what I wish for you in the coming days, Sagittarius: a knack for putting yourself in the enjoyable eye of the human hurricane.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

There are at least 20 different kinds of kisses, and the ancient Indian book Kama Sutra describes ten of them. Loving gazes and caresses come in an almost infinite variety, and the 2600year-old book identifies a few of each. As for sexual positions, the Kama Sutra provides insight into how to perform 84. In the coming weeks, I suggest you explore the Kama Sutra or a text like it, Capricorn, because your astrological assignment is to be ingenious and experimental as you push past the frontiers of your sexual wisdom. My brother Tom is a real estate agent. Lately he's been noticing that a lot of people are suffering from what he calls IDD--Intention Deficit Disorder. They act as if they really want to buy or sell a house, but then never get past the first few fledgling steps toward that end. Their good intentions get derailed by modest challenges. I want to make sure that you Aquarians don't develop a case of IDD in the coming weeks. The astrological omens suggest that you could fall prey to wandering around aimlessly unless you add a large dose of steel to your will.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

In the 19th century, ketchup was sold as a medicine. Physicians prescribed "Dr. Miles Compound Extract of Tomato" and similar potions to cure a variety of maladies, including liver disease, baldness, athlete's foot, and depression. In this wacky tradition, I'm recommending that you eat lots of ketchup to cure what ails you. There's actually nothing wrong with you at all, of course. But you have been feeding a tiny delusion with so much worried attention that it has bloomed into a big bad hallucination. One of the best medicines might be ketchup, whose healing power is as imaginary as your fake problem, and which is therefore a likely cure for it. Homework: Compose a love spell to get the exact kind of intimate connection you want--but without messing with anyone's free will.Tell me about it at www.freewillastrology.com.

ENJOY HISTORY?

Champaign County Historical Museum Located In Historical Cattle Bank

102 East University Ave

356.1010 Email: cchm@ champaignmuseum.org

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14 • b u z z w e e k l y

WE’LL BE SOARING LIKE EAGLES WITH POGO STICKS.

MUST LOVE DOGS Diane Lane & John Cusack This summer’s been a little lacking in the romantic comedy categor y (no, Wedding Crashers doesn’t count), and Must Love Dogs looks to fill the void. Lane plays a newly single preschool teacher whose sisters enter her into an online dating ser vice looking for a man who, among other things, must love dogs. John Cusack is the quirky soul who answers the call. (Andrew Vecelas) SKY HIGH Kurt Russell & Kelly Preston Had enough of superhero movies yet? Too bad. Mrs. John Travolta and Mr. Goldie Hawn play two premier heroes who send their child to the world’s only superhero high school. Only problem is that their son has no superpowers of his own, and is relegated to being a mere sidekick. That is, until he has to prove himself and save his parents from an evil villain. Fanboys may want to see this to catch Bruce Campbell as a gym teacher with an attitude problem. (Andrew Vecelas) STEALTH Jamie Foxx & Jessica Biel From the director of Fast and the Furious comes this high-tech extravaganza that’s being called a cross between Wargames and Top Gun. Biel, Foxx and Josh Lucas are three ace pilots who have to take down a renegade stealth bomber controlled by ar tificial intelligence. Nice to see Jamie Foxx putting that new Oscar statuette to good use. (Andrew Vecelas)

SYD SLOBODNIK • STAFF WRITER

What in the world was director Richard

Linklater thinking doing a nearly paint-bynumbers remake of the successful, irreverent Michael Ritchie film Bad News Bears—the 1976 comedy about a drunken little-league baseball manager and his team of middle-school-aged foulmouthed misfits? For longer than the past decade Linklater has been known as a thoughtful independent writer, whose innovative characters, in cult favorites like Slacker and Dazed and Confused and critically praised narratives in sensitive art-house films, like Before Sunrise, made him a filmmaker whose next project viewers anxiously awaited. Aside from the hefty paycheck and the opportunity to make a film with Billy Bob Thornton, it’s a mystery why he’d waste his creative energy on a lightweight remake of such a simple comedy. In fact, Ritchie’s original Bad News Bears was like many of his satiric, dramatic comedies of the 1970s that mocked America’s pastimes and institutions. Politics, beauty pageants and Olympic ski competitions were roasted in some of the funniest films of that decade: The Candidate, Smile and Downhill Racer. The original Bears also featured veteran funnyman Walter Matthau, and the Oscar-winning child-phenom Tatum O’Neal.

The original Bears was a hilarious critique of America’s favorite pastime that debunked ideas of how baseball built character and lead young boys into a world of fair play and teamwork. Linklater’s remake seems more of a star vehicle for the limited talents of Billy Bob Thornton. His Bad News Bears is a darker, less humorous look at the rather pathetic Morris Buttermaker, a former professional pitcher who’s hired by a lawyer and single mother of one of the little leaguers to manage a team of losers. With BAD NEWS BEARS • a scraggy goatee, tattoos, dark sunglasses and a beer can spiked with whiskey, Thornton tackles his new job with such a mean spirit that he’s clearly not the type of person any respectable parent wo u l d want to coach his or her child. Buttermaker swears up a storm of borderline PG-13 curses, enlists the team sponsorship of a local gentleman’s club and takes the boys out for postgame snacks at a local Hooters.Thornton is effective as a drunken womanizing slouch, but not as a comic role model for young boys in a kids’ film like this. Where the original film had a rather charming estranged father-daughter relationship with Matthau’s coach and tomboy star pitcher, played by O’Neal, there is almost no chemistry between Thornton and Sammi Kane Kraft, who

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buzz weekly •

I USED TO LIVE CLOSER TO THE WISCONSIN BORDER THAN CLAIRE ONCE DID.

7

DERBY C O N T I N U E D F RO M PA G E

6

PARAMOUNT PICTURES

Fresh flicks BAD NEWS BEARS opening this weekend

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JEFFREY DAVIES & BILLY BOB THORNTON

plays the coach’s estranged daughter Amanda. The childish humor of awkward baseball practices with the team’s collection of nonathletic, oddball kids approaches the effectiveness of the original film, and most moviegoers should enjoy the classic Cinderella story of the Bears’ eventual successes. The film’s biggest sin is the complete misuse of the talents of Marcia Gay Harden, a quality actress who won an Oscar several years ago for Pollack. She’s wasted playing the stereotypical lawyer mom who cannot make enough quality time for her boy. Like many of the feeble remakes already seen this summer, Linklater’s Bad News Bears is ultimately an unnecessary endeavor.

An unfortunate driver is hauled out of the derby before it begins after she couldn't start her car.

Cars with numbers like 1018, 6.7 and WD-40 painted on them alongside humorous phrases like “hit me here” and “here I come” conveyed the true laid-back mood of the event. On many of these cars and trucks other, more serious phrases were included such as “support our troops” and the names of relatives and friends who are deployed overseas. Others have the names of sponsors such as Reynolds Towing, who may have donated the cars, painted on the doors. The most exciting event of the night turned out to be the only truck heat of the evening. The participants used their heavily reinforced tailgates to hurtle toward their opponent’s hoods and truck beds. This heat featured some of the most violent and crowd-pleasing collisions. All the while, the announcer egged the drivers on to hammer into the other trucks. In the end, Beth Schrock and Coplan did make it to the final round, but neither finished in the money. Coplan’s car was so damaged in a preliminary heat that it would not start for him to actually participate in the final free-for-all. Schrock made it to the ring for the final heat, but seemed to have car problems right off the bat and made a quick exit. In any event, all of the drivers seemed to be in high spirits after the competition had ended. None of the vehicles involved were street legal and it was obvious that none of them have passed any emissions tests lately. However, demolition derbies do not happen every weekend and it is OK to break the rules every now and again to entertain in the dog days of summer. Especially if the entertainment is a night of safely crashing cars. buzz

Champaign County Fair Remaining Schedule Admission to the Fair is $5 for adults, and children under 12 years old are free, as is parking. Thursday, July 28 4-H Day 1:30-4 p.m. - Champaign-Urbana Optimist Club sponsors carnival rides for children 3-12 years old 7 p.m. - World Championship Rodeo Friday, July 29 11 a.m. - “Super” Friday Tractor Pull 6 p.m. - Swine Carcass Auction 8 p.m. - Country Music Show - Josh Turner Saturday, July 30 Youth Day 12-5 p.m. – Unlimited carnival rides for $15 5 p.m. - Tractor Pull, Illinois Championship Semi-Truck Pull

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SETH F: It’s weird. I didn’t realize that they were that FRED K: They call themselves ‘literary rock.’

PHOTO BY ALEX RODIGUEZ

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“Yup, two corpses, everything’s fine.� - Clue

THE ISLAND PAUL PRIKAZSKY • LEAD REVIEWER

Tabrasive he cinematic gods really hate Michael Bay. His brash and approach to simple storylines makes him the butt of

many jokes from legions of fanboys. Yet, the often critically panned director remains undaunted. This summer, he puts his sanctimonious spin on the sci-fi thriller The Island. Lincoln Six-Echo (Ewan McGregor) and Jordan Two-Delta (Scarlett Johansson) live in a not-too-distant future where a plague has contaminated the world’s population. They live in a self-contained community with other survivors where they lead rigorously scheduled lives. All inhabitants eagerly wait for selection to the island: the last uncontaminated spot on the planet, where they are expected to start civilization again. At least, that’s what their godlike leader, Merrick (Sean Bean) wants them to believe. But they have all been deceived ... They are actually clones of wealthy investors who are harvested for use of their vital organs and then disposed of. When Lincoln makes this startling discovery, he flees with Jordan. As they attempt to track down their duplicates, they are doggedly pursued by Laurent (Djimon Hounsou), a ruthless hunter who will stop at nothing to destroy them and keep the truth a secret.

With shameless product placement, encircling panoramic helicopter shots and lots of explosions, we’re quickly reminded that we’re watching a Michael Bay movie. Granted, they may be trademarks from his days with uberproducer Jerry Bruckheimer, but they are done in the taste of a two-hour commercial. Bay comes from the filmmaking philosophy that “bigger is undoubtedly better.� Unfortunately, excess doesn’t always make a compelling story and The Island is proof of that. Everything is presented on an epic scale; even the volume of the film seems overblown. Once the action kicks into high gear, any coherent shred of a story is buried under Bay’s absurd pyrotechnics. It seems as though a real story scared the bejesus out of him and he piled on as many outrageous effects as humanly (no pun intended) possible. The Island does boast an impressive cast, which is one of the few high points of the film. Ewan McGregor is decent in his role, but his onscreen persona has been reduced to headlining bigbudget event movies with no room to display his acting prowess. It seems that Sean Bean has become Hollywood’s go-to guy for playing villains. This is unfortunate because he is one of the few actors who could cross the spectrum in different roles, but is never given the opportunity. Prior to the second and third acts of the film, you could swear you’re watching a big-screen adaptation from the works of seminal sci-fi novelist Phillip K. Dick. Morality and social issues thinly disguised against a futuristic backdrop were frequent themes in the influential writer’s work. Even as Bay leaves his ugly fingerprints over the latter part of the film, the ideas still manage to

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THE ISLAND • SCARLETT JOHANSSON & EWAN MCGREGOR

escape the special effects. We are left questioning the human nature of these pseudo-people and society’s right to harvest them for personal benefit. It is disheartening to see a film with boundless potential fall apart. In the hands of a more capable director, The Island could have been a wonderful sci-fi film. It has one of the few unique premises to hit the screen this summer. But the promising story succumbs to the machinations of a materialistic director, whose visual aura suffocates the story.

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Top 10

the week’s top

BOX OFFICE 1. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ($28.3M) 2. Wedding Crashers ($25.7M) 3. Fantastic Four ($12.6M) 4. The Island ($12.4M) 5. Bad News Bears ($11.4M) 6. War of the Worlds ($8.9M) 7. 8. 9. 10.

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WEDDING CRASHERS (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:20 1:55 4:15 4:50 7:10 8:00 9:50 10:30 Sun. - Thu. 1:20 1:55 4:15 4:50 7:10 8:00 9:50 WAR OF WORLDS (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:40 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:40

Hustle & Flow ($8M) The Devil’s Rejects ($7.1M) Batman Begins ($4.7M) March of the Penguins ($4.4M)

DVD RENTALS 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

Million Dollar Baby The Pacifier Hide and Seek Hitch Miss Congeniality 2 Diary of a Mad Black Woman Coach Carter Hostage National Treasure Meet the Fockers

Willy Wonka keeps his hold on the box office for a second weekend, as Tim Burton’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory rakes in $28.3 million.

CHARLIE & CHOCOLATE (PG) Fri. Sat. & Mon. - Thu. 1:30 2:00 4:00 5:00 7:00 8:00 9:55 11:00 Sun. 1:30 2:00 4:00 5:00 7:00 8:00 9:55 BATMAN BEGINS (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:55

BAD NEWS BEARS (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 12:05 Fri. - Thu. 1:30 1:55 4:15 THE ISLAND (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 1:45 4:00 5:00 4:45 7:00 7:20 9:35 9:55 7:00 8:10 10:00 11:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 1:45 4:00 MUST LOVE DOGS (PG–13) 5:00 7:00 8:10 10:00 Fri. & Sat. 1:10 1:45 3:30 4:45 5:50 7:10 8:10 9:30 FANTASTIC FOUR (PG–13) 10:25 11:45 Fri. & Sat. 1:30 4:15 7:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:10 1:45 3:30 9:45 12:00 4:45 5:50 7:10 8:10 9:30 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:45 SKY HIGH (PG) Fri. & Sat. 1:55 4:25 7:15 9:40 11:55 HUSTLE & FLOW (R) Fri. - Sun. - Thu. 1:55 4:25 7:15 Thu. 1:35 4:30 7:10 9:50 9:40 DEVIL'S REJECTS (R) Fri. ◆ STEALTH (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:50 4:10 7:15 9:55 Thu. 1:00 1:30 4:00 4:30 12:05 7:00 7:30 9:55 10:10 Sun. - Thu. 1:50 4:10 7:15 9:55

Showtimes for 7/29 thru 8/4

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popular. KYLE: How did you guys think A.C. Newman’s album translated In between to a live show? each song they’d say something like, ‘This is about our SETH H: I really like his record, and I really like his stuff with The New Pornographers. I think he’s great and a great songwriter protagonist in World War I.’ SETH F: Right, it’s like English class all over again. and all that, but I think he’s another one of those bands that KYLE: It’s kind of a weird thing to have those guys going last. doesn’t translate well into an outdoor festival. SETH H: They were one of the biggest bands there though. SETH F: What does translate well into an outdoor festival? SETH F: The truth is ... they lost their two headliners— SETH H: Nothing, really. FRED: In terms of drinking beer in the sun, it’s not bad. The Fiery Furnaces and The Arcade Fire. KYLE: I was wondering why those bands weren’t there. SETH H: Yeah, I had a ball. I had a great time, but I’ve gone to shows SETH F: They probably had to play with the balls of Tortoise to and been more satisfied with the music. After Broken Social Scene, get them to play.They prob- I didn’t go stand and watch another band the rest of the night. ably really had to swoon SETH H: They were the only band that I thought sounded good them to get them to head- outdoors. Like,The Go! Team sucked. line the festival, because KYLE: Yeah, they sucked—unbelievably bad live.Their super-happy thing is like the Flaming Lips ... they’re a headlining band. SETH F: It’ll be interesting to SETH F: Don’t compare The Go! Team with the Flaming Lips. see how Pitchfork reacts KYLE: I just think it’s hard to explain what the difference is. towards The Arcade Fire from SETH F: The difference is, the Flaming Lips are so cerebral and ... what? here on out. Lollapalooza SETH H: I’m sorry, I’m just laughing because the Flaming Lips just got compared to The Go! Team. literally stole them. KYLE: Starting at the beginKYLE: I just think they both have that be-happy-even-if-your-lifening of the festival, which is sucks sort of thing. SETH H: Is that what the Flaming Lips is all about? Be happy the first you liked? SETH F: Head of Femur. with your life? I had them at Caffe Paradiso FRED: That and taking acid. I thought The Go! Team brought three years ago, and they had in some well-needed enthusiasm at that point in the festival. like 10 members. They were SETH H: I thought it was cheesy. I sat there, standing at the record spilling off the stage, and fair, and I saw all the 10,000 indie fans jumping up and down, I knew right then that they which I didn’t think was possible. were going to be a great band. FRED: Which says something about the subjective nature of these SETH H: Is that the key to things. It all depends on where you’re sitting. being a great band? How many KYLE: The other thing was that they had two guitarists ... SETH F: What’s wrong with that? members you have? KYLE G: Andrew Bird, KYLE: ... they didn’t have any worthwhile guitar parts. I think he was the best act of SETH H: You bashed Magnolia Electric Co.’s set ... I thought they the weekend. It was just him were fantastic. KYLE: I think Jason Molina is awesome. I’m a little alt-counand a drummer. SETH F: I would say that or try weary, but I think they’re a great band. Andrew Bird performs his looped chamber-pop with extreme poise despite the wilting heat Xiu Xiu, although I don’t SETH F: He’s a great guy, a real blue-collar guy, and they stop everywhere.They’re playing Galveston,Texas.They’re playing five shows like their electronic beats. KYLE GORMAN • MUSIC EDITOR KYLE: Anyway,The M’s. in Ontario. Before their show here, he bought me shots. I had FRED KOSCHMANN • STAFF WRITER SETH F: They’re a rock club band. They’re actually coming down offered, but he bought them.A couple weeks later, he calls me back. At the first-ever INTONATION MUSIC FESTIVAL, curated by the ubiquitous here on Sept. 29 ... What kind of guy calls his promoter back? Jason Molina, I guess. monolith Pitchforkmedia.com, the thousands of fans shared something else SETH H: The M’s are fantastic. I’ve seen them several times in the KYLE: What about The Wrens? unique: Every fan had read about the festival, their faces illuminated by a com- last six months. They’ve definitely been better, but they were FRED: Extremely long set. puter monitor. Featuring over 20 independent acts in Chicago’s Union Park, still really good [at Intonation]. KYLE: What about The Hold Steady? the concert was also a model of economy with two-day passes going for $22. SETH F: There was some problem with the sound. SETH H: I think they suck.What are they doing besides regurgitatAfter the festival, Buzz got staff writers Imran Siddiquee and Fred SETH H: Yeah, I think you can tell from Saturday who was trav- ing bar rock from the ’70s and having this guy talk over it? Koschmann, music editor Kyle Gorman, Urbana Booking Co.’s Seth Fein, eling with their own sound guy and who wasn’t. A.C. Newman KYLE: So the DJs, did you guys check out any? and Polyvinyl Records’ Seth Hubbard together to kick back a few brews and wasn’t mixed very well.The first band that I noticed that sound- SETH H: I heard it didn’t go over so well. I love Will discuss the goings-on at Murphy’s. Here is a adaptation of their conversation. ed good was Magnolia Electric Oldham to death, but he’s not a DJ. Co. That’s kind of a different KYLE: Both of the closer acts for the night (Tortoise and the KYLE: Diplo was awesome. tier of being a band. Once you There’s a hypothetical machine in a room in Wicker Decemberists)—kind of chilled out ... SETH H: I think aside from get to travel with your own Park in Chicago, hand-cranked by underpaid illegal SETH F: I left, wasn’t even there. the fans, the record fair and sound guy, you know you’ve immigrants day and night. It’s like the monolith in 2001. KYLE: Too tired? the DJ tent, you have to take made it. We don’t know who it’s run by, we don’t know anySETH F: Yeah, I love Tortoise, but that’s the thing about this festival KYLE: Anyway, A.C. Newman. a step back. When I was thing, except it affects everything, and that’s what the to me: I felt like it was too long.You can open the gates early, like How can this guy not realize driving home on Saturday promotions tap into. If it’s hot, you don’t need to put up they did, and offer the different types of activities ... but I say, don’t that he was playing an entire night, I was thinking about a poster, or play it on the radio, or take out an ad, start the show until three, and do less bands. set out of tune? how I couldn’t believe that because the word is out. – Seth Fein SETH H: I think that was one of the biggest complaints, that there SETH F: Nervous. I doubt he’s 10,000 people came out were too many bands, and I think the heat was a big problem, ever played a festival that big. to see indie bands. too. I’m a big fan of A.C. Newman. I stood there for three songs SETH H: I really think that the sound was so bad coming out, KYLE: What do you think about all the kids who showed up? and couldn’t stand it. The sun was just beating down on you; I bet he didn’t have a decent monitor mix on stage, or anything SETH H: I think a lot of those kids had a serious commitment to there was no breeze. like that. So he probably couldn’t hear a damn thing that he was fashion to wear a tweed blazer and jeans on a 95-degree day. SETH F: Better that than a rainout. doing; he just had to roll with it and assume that he was in tune. SETH F: It was what I expected.There were the legions of indie kids SETH H: Yeah, but why not just have it on a not-so-hot day? The mix was wretched. and then there were interested listeners, people who realize that I mean, they can’t really control the weather, but ... FRED: You know, to his credit, I was just coming into the festival at there’s a music festival going on for this cheap. As a promoter I was SETH F: I know Pitchfork is considered to be god, but they actualthat point, and so I could only barely hear it. And what I did hear incredibly impressed by what [Pitchfork] was able to pull off. And ly aren’t. Breaking news. were some of the only catchy and melodic songs that I heard that day. they didn’t take any ads out anywhere.When you get a million hits KYLE: That’s good, Pitchfork can’t control the rain. SETH H: Well, A.C. Newman essentially writes pop songs, so there’s a month [on their Web site], you don’t need to advertise. SETH F: Some would argue that, though. going to be some catchy pop hooks, and with a lot of the other SETH H: I think independent-music culture is at the height of its KYLE: Absolutely. What do you think of the Decemberists popularity thus far. It’s going to keep going. buzz bands ... like, you’re not going to hear any pop hooks in Tortoise. as a closing act for a huge festival like that?

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JU L . 28

FEATURE PHOTO

ar tist’s corner

ryan gunzel

Ryan is a recent graduate from the University of Illinois, with a degree in creative writing and psychology. He is currently an unemployed starving artist living in Champaign, who will be moving to join other unemployed starving artists in Chicago, where he will either rock out until he is an old crotchety man with a shaky cane or meet an untimely death in a freak accident involving a toothbrush, two oranges and a shot of whiskey. What is your favorite city in the world and why?

Chicago. It’s awesome. Who do you consider your most influential author and why?

William Carlos Williams has been the biggest single influence in my writing. He focuses on the simple images and presents real life in such a real way that his writing becomes so beautifully genuine. I look at other writers who have influenced me, like Bukowski or Palahniuk, and they are striving to find the same simple line that Williams mastered. The simple lines, the simple images, they can hold so much meaning and experience.

DAVID SOLANA

through this program, of all the different parts that work together to make up a performance.” Laura Robertson, from Urbana High School, did the program last year as well as this year. She said,“I had a really great time during the program last year and I thought it did a lot for my experience.” Another program participant,Austin Abrams said,“I love doing technical work. The first day we did a ‘light hang,’ and we went up and did technical stuff, and we’ve had makeup training, and it’s been fun.” Matt Lutz said, “When I started looking for a summer job I knew I wanted a theater job but didn’t know where to start. James Berton Harris sent out an e-mail to the Theatre Department at U of I talking about auditions and interviews for the Summer Studio Theatre Company. I met with him one day and explained how Iwanted a summer job, so we talked and he offered me an apprentice stage manager position, which is the first year they are doing it.” Whether people are interested in doing theater or not, it seems that this program gives a taste of what it entails, to help people decide if they are really interested in pursuing it as their life’s work. Matt Lutz said,“Working during the summer made me realize how much work I will do for my job, but most importantly, how much I love to do the work as a stage manager.” Abrams, attending college next year, knew that he wanted to be an English major, but is hoping after this fun experience to be

PHOTO

of Love.The money from this performance went toward supporting the Summer Studio Apprentice/Intern Program.This program was the idea of James Berton Harris. He said, “It seemed to me that I was having trouble finding crews in the summer because not a lot of people were able to commit. It really occurred to me during the year, because I have to focus on students and I’m not able to do any outreach. So, I came up with this as an ideal opportunity to bring in students never exposed to a stage based on the professional model, and have them interact with experienced actors.” In past years, the main focus has been acting. Elizabeth DeVore, the production stage manager and company manager, said, “It’s a new thing [to allow other focuses]; we’re going to see how it works out, but so far it’s been going really good. In general, they do a lot of work, including prep for shows, work in shops (mostly prop), help with loading of sets, doing lights (painting and such), running crew and strike.”All of the apprentices are in Broadway in one role or another, and one of the interns has a walk-on part. They also have various acting or technical classes three hours a day, three days a week during their time there. Anne mentioned, “I was thinking last night that people have no idea what’s going on behind the set. There’s a backstage stage manager who oversees everything behind the scenes and there is a stage manager who watches everything in front of the screen, and they have to coordinate everything. The interns get a taste,

sound ground #86

c involved in various theater activities when he gets settled. Regardless of whether or not people found out that they wanted to be actors, they seemed to find their niche and have a good experience. The culminating performance, which takes place July 30 at 2 p.m., is called Simply Simon: Scenes and Songs from the Works of Playwright Neil Simon. All of the interns and apprentices have been studying works by Neil Simon, since the Summer Studio Theatre Company is performing one of his works, The Last of the Red Hot Lovers. The actors came to speak to the interns and apprentices, as well as the director, to give their views of the work. The students also watched an interview of Neil, exploring the comedy and comedic style. I encourage any students in high school interested to be sure to look at Krannert as a possible summer program. Auditions occur around February. In the meantime, go to the free performance on July 30 at 2 p.m. The interns and apprentices will be doing a song and a scene from Neil Simon, and it looks to be a lot of fun.

What is your favorite quote and why?

‘A writer is not so much someone who has something to say as he is someone who has found a process that will bring about new things he would not have thought of if he had not started to say them.’ — William Stafford.Writing is a learning process. So many people view it as an effort toward production, which will have some sort of clear ending or goal in sight, such as money or fame or love. But the best writers don’t write because they want to make money or have someone fall in love with them. The best writers vomit themselves on the paper, and in the process they learn something about themselves or the world in which they live. Everything else, the wealth, the power, the popularity, are simply digressions. What is your favorite topic to write about?

I really like to watch and listen to people.Writing about people and my interactions with them is what I do naturally. If I’m stuck and can’t write anything, I go get a cup of coffee, watch people, and write about what they are doing. There are a lot of interesting details that are very telling of a person, which turn into good writing. Which do you prefer, poetry or prose, and why?

In terms of writing, I really enjoy poetry more than prose.With poetry it’s easier to focus on a single image or thought and develop everything around it. To me, poetry is a much tighter form of writing—there seems to be less clutter in poetry. Even though many aspects of prose can be found in poetry, such as character, plot, etc., these things are not required for poetry.

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[an old man walks by me everyday] an old man walks by me everyday he wears the same smooth pants baggy grey sweatshirt sleeves pulled over his wrinkled liver-spot hands his white hair always blowing like a song played by a wisping saxophone in the wind his back hunched in a perpetual sway and waltz with gravity the scent of fabric softener clinging to his clothes and coffee to his hair and that steady paced walk so careful stepping slowly while girls in short skirts ruffles flapping with every gust and maybe a flash of cotton panties pass him the envelope in his hand swishing against the leg of his pants never in a hurry

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this week in music

TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

British rockers Bloc Party will release a remix of their latest and first album, Silent Alarm. Silent Alarm Remixed will retain the same track order, only with remixes from other independent heavy-hitters such as M83, Death From Above 1979, Ladytron and Mogwai. Fans can hear a stream of it at http://www.blocparty.com/marshals/.

STAFF WRITER

On July 21 and 22, Krannert hosted a benefit titled Speakeasy ...

GET A BETTER SEX.

iTunes has raised its wholesale payout to musicians to 70 cents per download, while the customer still pays 99 cents per song. Good news for artists everywhere!

“Learning through experience” •

A U G . 3 , 2 OO5

THE HURLYBURLY

KRANNERT THEATER INTERNING BETH DILLMAN

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Kaiser Chiefs Employment Universal BY CLAIRE NAPIER

The Kaiser Chiefs are: A.) Friends of Illinois’ Chief Illiniwek; B.) The authorities on baking kaiser rolls; C.) A band consisting of four guys from Great Britain, named after a South African soccer team, whose lyrics and music are as unpredictable and offbeat as their name. The Kaiser Chiefs’ debut Employment has listeners humming along from the first track with the catchy and amusing “Everyday I Love You Less And Less,” boasting perhaps the most amusing line on the entire album: “I can’t believe once you and me did sex/It makes me sick to think of you undressed.” The record also sports another less-than-subtle way of telling a woman that the singer just does not like her: “It does not move me, it does not get me going at all.”The band shows some more depth lyrically on their first single “I Predict a Riot” while still remaining witty and clever. On “Modern Way,” one of the more mellow tracks, the lyrics become even more serious, pondering the way people lead their lives in a modern world. Employment features several other tracks that are little mellower than the style indicated by the album’s opening track. A few are catchy, but the last two songs, “Caroline, Yes” and “Team Mate” are two of the slowest and most forgettable. However, the success of the earlier songs on this 13-track album makes up for the album’s weak ending.

Veteran

#86 scenesters will recall Chyme, a female-fronted rock band here from 1996 to 2002. Chyme bassist Ryan LaBoube and percussionist Frank Petreikis are active again in Below Eden, along with vocalist Jon Hall and “sludge” guitarist Jimmy Tsai. Below Eden cut a demo with Mark Rubel in June, and a debut album is due fall 2005. In the meantime, they will launch their permanent Web site Monday and introduce stickers and T-shirts later in August. Below Eden play their third show Aug. 13 in the Mike ‘n Molly’s beer garden with The Respondent (ex-The Frame, exSherman, ex-Monster Honkey) and Stood Up. July 23, acoustic quartet elsinore taped a live album at Jackson Avenue Coffee in Charleston. Motherlode and Jenny Keefe opened the show, which raised a good deal for Peace Meal Senior Nutrition Project (Meals on Wheels). Aug. 15 is elsinore’s next visit for Acoustic at Aroma and for WEFT Sessions on Aug. 18.

Pop trio Mad Science Fair have a name now for their forthcoming album: ... for a better tomorrow. The album will be recorded with Adam Schmitt and released later this year. Mad Science Fair play Saturday at Cal’s in Chicago for RAWK and ROLL(ercoasters). The next hometown show is Aug. 27 in the Mike ‘n Molly’s beer garden with Rob McColley. Tonight, Seattle accordionist-puppeteer Jason Webley brings his Tomato Tour 2005 to the Channing-Murray Foundation. Show time is 8 p.m., and cover is $7. Also tonight at 8, Madison Greene founder Michael Blair shares his “aggressive acoustic” music at Aroma. Admission is free. Tomorrow, newcomer Lynn O’Brien performs at Caffe Paradiso. Show time is 7 p.m., and admission is free. Todd J. Hunter hosts WEFT Sessions and Champaign Local 901, two hours of live localmusic every Monday night at 10:00 on 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com.

Soul-pop singer Joss Stone recently was dropped from her million-dollar contract with the Gap for moving in MOMENT OF THE WEEK with her 17-year-old boyfriend. A Gap spokesperson explained, “People take the age of consent extremely seriously in America. The backbone of Gap’s business is in small towns in Middle America where people are very, very conservative, especially in the Southern Bible Belt.” The company will now replace its devilish, whore-faced heathen spokeswoman with the quietly unassuming Michelle Williams of late pop group, Destiny’s Child. What an interesting move by Gap, a company which had been previously known to make contracts with Madonna, Sarah Jessica Parker, Liz Phair and Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott.

w H at tH e He L L?

by Ryan Gunzel

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I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S


RAISE THE ROOF: A Festival of Ten

A benefit for the Station Theatre presented in 10 Minute Plays

July 28-31 and Aug. 3-6 Music at 7:10 p.m., plays start at 8. Starting tomorrow, Raise the Roof: A Festival of Ten, will grace the stages of The Station Theatre, 223 N. Broadway, Urbana. As a benefit show to raise money for the theater’s upkeep, Raise the Roof combines local music and local theater for eight nights of festival entertainment. Arrive early for dessert and music from your favorite locals, including Larry Gates, Brandon T. Washington and Kate Hathaway. Following the show are eight 10-minute plays, directed by Mindy Manolakes, Sam Ambler, Ryan Rogers and Aaron Matthew Polk. Their quirky comedies and thought-provoking dramas cover everything from death to love to the pursuit of happiness. Ticket prices are $10 except on Friday and Saturday when the tickets are $12. Wednesdays and Sundays are two for one. There will also be nightly raffles. For reservations, call 384-4000.

—Erin Scottberg

Music Schedule July July July July

28: Adam Wolfe 29: Mike Ingram 30: Brandon T. Washington 31: G. Lee

Aug Aug Aug Aug

3: Adam Wolfe 4: Larry Gates 5: Kate Hathaway 6: Kayla Brown

FRIDAY july 29 Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1

Chubby Carrier and the Bayou Swamp Band Thursday, July 28 The Highdive, doors at 8 p.m., show starts at 8:30. $10 Zydeco is a form of music born in the depths of Louisiana that blends traditional Cajun music with the influences of R&B, blues and rock ‘n’ roll. Chubby, a third generation zydeco musician who learned the art watching older family members, began his musical career as a drummer in his father’s band at 12 years old. Since then, Chubby has also mastered the accordion, an essential to zydeco music, as well as the frottoir—the washboard. But Chubby’s biggest talent seems to be putting on an energetic show that promises to get people on their feet and having a good time.

—Cassie Conner

Ecletic Theory The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Andrew Dixon Quartet Mike 'n Molly's, 5-7pm, $3 The Painkillers [blues] The Iron Post, 5-8pm, TBA Adam Wolfe Tommy G's, 5-7pm, free Andrew Duncanson [of Kilborn Alley Blues Band] Cowboy Monkey, 5:30pm, free Sojourn [rock] Fat City Saloon, 8;30pm, free Urbana Booking Co. presents: Hot Club d'Urbana, Spaghetti Western String Co., Duke of Uke The Iron Post, 9pm, $5 DownPour, Justify the Means, Midshift Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 The Brat Pack [‘80s pop/dance covers] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover DJ DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm-2am, TBA DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10:30pm, $5 DJ Elise [deep house, broken beat] Boltini, 6-10pm, free DJ Bonsu, DJ Impact [hip hop; Chicago deep house] Nargile, 9pm, free before 11pm, $5 after DJ Raphael [house, hip hop, rock] Cowboy Monkey, 9:30pm, free DJ Delayney [hip hop, soul] Barfly, 10pm, free CFK [house] Chester St., 10pm, TBA DJ Lil Big Bass [drum n bass, 2 step] Boltini, 10pm, free DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover Karaoke

Liquid Courage Karaoke The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am, TBA Karaoke American Legion, 8pm-1am, TBA Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free Theater Hamlet [a comedy by William Shakespeare] On (and around) the Quad, starting at Foellinger Hall, 8pm, free Lectures, Meetings, Workshops Personal Computer Maintenance, Upgrading Workshop [Learn more about the inner workings of a personal computer and hardware upgrading] Parkland College, 9am-1pm, $60 Contact Jeff Cox at 403-1385 for more info

SATURDAY july 30 Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Will Rogers Band[country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Music Among the Vines: Groove Yard [jazz] Alto Vineyards, 7:30-10:30pm, $3 Grass Roots Revival [bluegrass, country] Pages For All Ages, 8pm, free Grooveatron, Alan Vasquez The Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 Sick Day, Darlin Kisarm Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, $4 Kate Hathaway Band, Megan Johns The Iron Post, 10pm, $3 X-Krush [rock/pop/metal covers] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover Batch, Ras Attitude, The Zioniers [reggae] Cowboy Monkey, 10:30pm, $5 RLE Recordings Live Actions 002 [Mark Solotroff, Climax Denial, Pitstain, Wilt, Silvum] McKinley Foundation, 7-11pm, $5 DJ West Coast Swing/Night Club: DJ Lino Sidebar, 7:30-10:30pm, $4 Night of Elegance: DJ Asiatic, DJ Dice [jazz, R&B, hip hop, reggaeton] Nargile, 8pm, cover DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm, TBA DJ Night Paulie's, 9pm, free DJ Resonate [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ White Horse Inn, 10pm, free "G" Force DJ The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's, 9pm-1am, free Dancing Salsa Dancing: DJ Bris Mueller Sidebar, 10:30pm, $5 Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages, 11am, free Theater Hamlet [a comedy by William Shakespeare] On (and around) the Quad, starting at Foellinger Hall, 8pm, free Lectures, Meetings, Workshops Personal Computer Maintenance, Upgrading Workshop [Learn more about the inner workings of a personal computer and hardware upgrading] Parkland College, 9am-1pm, $60 Contact Jeff Cox at 403-1385 for more info

SUNDAY july 31 Live Music The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Liquid Courage Open Mic Night Geovanti's, 8pm-12am, free Andrew Duncanson [of Kilborn Alley Blues Band] The Iron Post, 6pm, TBA First Annual Rawk and Roll(ercoasters): Terminus Victor, Camero Rouge, Lil' Isaac and The Dirty Stank, Cameo Turret The Brass Rail, 9:30pm, $4 DJ DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm, TBA DJ Wesjile [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Baby Face Nargile, 8pm, TBA Jon Meske [house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free NOAH: DJ Dance Party Canopy Club, 10pm, $15 Lectures, Meetings, Workshops Monthly Scrapbook Kit Club Michaels Arts & Crafts, 2-4pm, $15 Audition Open audition [looking for male lead in short film. Should be 20-40 years old. Experience not required, resume a plus. Call Laura at 417-0567 for info] Dixon Graphics, 105 W John St, 4-6pm

MONDAY aug 1 Live Music Jazz Jam with ParaDocs Iron Post, 8-11pm, TBA Chris and Jim [cover band] White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Finga Lickin' The Office, 10:30pm, free Love and Joy [comedy & live R&B] Canopy Club, 10pm, $3 Open Mic Night hosted by Mike Ingram Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free

Quad Remedy [rock] Tommy G's, 10pm, free DJ Mojito Mondays [lounge music] Nargile, 10pm, free Ear Candy [house DJs] Nargile, 9pm, free DJ Delayney [hip hop/soul] Barfly, 10pm, free

TUESDAY aug 2 Live Music Bluegrass Jam [amateurs and professionals welcome] Verde Gallery, 7-9:30pm, free Open Jam/Open Mic hosted by Brandon T. Washington The Canopy Club, 9pm, 21+/free, $2/under 21 The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Adam Wolfe's Acoustic Night with Jess Greenlee Tommy G's, 10pm, free Open Stage Espresso Royale Goodwin & Oregon, 8pm, free Larry Gates [acoustic] White Horse Inn, 10pm, free DJ DJ Reaganomics [80’s requests] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Subversion: DJ ZoZo, DJ Evily, DJ TwinScin [goth/industrial/electro] The Highdive, 10pm, $2 Tremblin BG Barfly, 10pm, free DJ JB [hip hop music videos] Nargile, 9pm, free Bang!: DJ Impact, TBA [house and other sounds] Nargile, 10pm, TBA Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Neil St. Pub, 8pm-12am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's , 9pm-1am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke and DJ Track's, 9pm-1am Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign, 8pm, $7-$9 Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free Babies’ Lap Time [songs, stories and rhymes for the youngest patrons, birth-24 mo, with an adult] Urbana Free Library, 10:30-11am, free Molly Moon, Charlie Bone, Harry Potter Fantasy Reading Society [talk about our favorite fantasy characters and super powers we would like to have. For second grade and up] Urbana Free Library, 2-3pm, free Register at 367-4069 Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free WEDNESDAY aug 3 Live Music Apollo Poetics Nargile, 10pm, free Ed O'Hare and Friends Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Blues Night: Kilborn Alley Tommy G's, 10pm, free Chambana Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8-10pm Urbana Booking Co. presents: The Weakdaze, Emotional Rec Club, She Screams, J. Scott Franklin The Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 Jammin' Jimmy Bean Tommy G's, 10pm, free Green Mountain Grass [bluegrass] The Iron Post, 9pm, TBA DJ Chef Ra [roots, reggae] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ JB [roots, reggae] Barfly, 10pm, free Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti's, 10pm-2am, free

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Live Music Shovelrack White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, free Eclectic Theory Joe's Brewery, 5-8pm, TBA Young Kim Jazz Combo The Iron Post, 7-9pm, TBA Acoustic Music Series: Michael Blair Aroma, 8pm, free Jason Webley Channing-Murray Foundation, 8pm, $7 Chubby Carrier and the Bayour Swamp Band The Highdive, 8pm, $10 Jeff Helgesen [jazz] Zorba's, 9:30pm, $3 Tribute to Summer Camp: Kilborn Alley, The Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band The Canopy Club, 10pm, $3 Any Other Name Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, TBA JBC Jillian’s Band Battle III [visit jilliansbillards.com to enter] Jillian’s, 9pm, TBA DJ Ladies Night: DJ Asiatic, DJ Black Ice [hip hop, dance hall, reggaeton, salsa] Nargile, 9pm, TBA DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, electro] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Elise [house] Boltini, 10pm, free Solace: DJ J-Phlip, DJ Mertz [deep house] Soma, 10pm, cover Generic DJ Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8pm, TBA Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Pia's of Rantoul, 9pm-1am, free The Cheezy Trio [live band karaoke] Tommy G's, 9pm, free Dancing UIUC Swing Society McKinley Foundation 9:30pm-12am, free Health and Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign, 8pm, $7-$9 Belly Dance for Fitness Gold’s Gym, Champaign, 7:30pm, $7-$9 Group Meditation Ananda Liina, 2308 N High Cross Rd, Urbana, 5:30pm, free Wine Tasting Krannert Uncorked Krannert Art Center Lobby 5pm, free Kids Funfare [stories, songs, puppets, and films for children and their caregivers] Urbana Free Library, 10:30-11am, free

Living Language: Painting and Poetry Unite by Marie Mamaril [watercolor and acrylic on canvas] Pages for All Ages Aug 1–Sept 14 Artist reception with poetry by Mamaril and music by Maximo Aug 1, 7pm.

a richly nuanced sense of space. The exhibition includes his two most important series, Midwest Landscapes and Chicago Landscapes, as well as extremely rare mounted exhibition prints.] Krannert Art Museum through July 31

Raise the Roof! [A benefit for the Station Theatre in 10 Minute Plays] Station Theater July 28–Aug 6, $10-$12, Wednesday and Sundays are two for one.Acoustic Music at 7:10pm, plays start at 8pm.

Landscapes [works from David Stratton] Verde Gallery through July

Abstraction: Intertwining Identities [a retrospective of the life and works of James Belton Bonsall.] Illini Union Art Gallery through Aug 12 Reception on July 29 from 5-7pm Recent Works by Louis Ballard and Hua Nian [Community artists ponder existence through vibrant ceramics and acrylic/watercolor-painted creations. Using their chosen medium as a springboard, each artist illuminates the concept of personal identity born through life experience.] Parkland Art Gallery through Aug 4 The Pilsen Photo Group [This Chicago based collective creates,displays, and promotes experimental and traditional photography in their gallery in the historic Pilsen arts community. The show will feature the work of Champaign artist Richard Wilson.] Cinema Gallery through Aug 13

Hamish Fulton: Walking as Knowing as Making Krannert Art Museum through July 31 Art at Cafe Kopi [acrylic works by Lisa Strassheim] Cafe Kopi through July Larry Kanfer Gallery [Spectacular large Prairiescapes images. Also European, Cityscape, Woodland and the University of Illinois collections] Art With Intention Open Studio [Individually directed drop-in studio time allowing adults to explore their creative voices. Instructed by Sandra Ahten] Thursdays, 4-9pm. Visit www.spiritofsandra.com for details and location. Aroma Cafe is looking for artists to exhibit their work. If you are interested in exhibiting your art, please contact Amanda Bickel, art coordinator at Aroma Cafe at art4aroma@yahoo.com.

Study of Verbs and Study of Landscapes [abstract paintings by Sven] Aroma Cafe through Aug 31 American Horizons: The Photographs of Art Sinsabaugh [This major retrospective is the first complete survey of the remarkable photographs of Art Sinsabaugh (1924 -1983). A landscape photographer in the broadest sense, Sinsabaugh photographed rural and urban American environments, capturing

Outlaw Karaoke White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, free Salsa Dancing [salsa/mambo/bachata] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Lectures, Meetings, Workshops Open Poetry Night [writers may read their own work or just listen] Illini Union Bookstore,7-8 pm Fitness Yoga Ananda Liina, 2308 N High Cross Rd, Urbana, 5:30-7pm, free Kids Annual Bubble Blast [See how many bubbles you can make] Crystal Lake Park, 2-3pm, free

Art by Marie Mamaril

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THURSDAY july 28

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO LIST A POSTING E-MAIL CALENDAR@READBUZZ.COM BY SUNDAY NIGHT. I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

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I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S


RAISE THE ROOF: A Festival of Ten

A benefit for the Station Theatre presented in 10 Minute Plays

July 28-31 and Aug. 3-6 Music at 7:10 p.m., plays start at 8. Starting tomorrow, Raise the Roof: A Festival of Ten, will grace the stages of The Station Theatre, 223 N. Broadway, Urbana. As a benefit show to raise money for the theater’s upkeep, Raise the Roof combines local music and local theater for eight nights of festival entertainment. Arrive early for dessert and music from your favorite locals, including Larry Gates, Brandon T. Washington and Kate Hathaway. Following the show are eight 10-minute plays, directed by Mindy Manolakes, Sam Ambler, Ryan Rogers and Aaron Matthew Polk. Their quirky comedies and thought-provoking dramas cover everything from death to love to the pursuit of happiness. Ticket prices are $10 except on Friday and Saturday when the tickets are $12. Wednesdays and Sundays are two for one. There will also be nightly raffles. For reservations, call 384-4000.

—Erin Scottberg

Music Schedule July July July July

28: Adam Wolfe 29: Mike Ingram 30: Brandon T. Washington 31: G. Lee

Aug Aug Aug Aug

3: Adam Wolfe 4: Larry Gates 5: Kate Hathaway 6: Kayla Brown

FRIDAY july 29 Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1

Chubby Carrier and the Bayou Swamp Band Thursday, July 28 The Highdive, doors at 8 p.m., show starts at 8:30. $10 Zydeco is a form of music born in the depths of Louisiana that blends traditional Cajun music with the influences of R&B, blues and rock ‘n’ roll. Chubby, a third generation zydeco musician who learned the art watching older family members, began his musical career as a drummer in his father’s band at 12 years old. Since then, Chubby has also mastered the accordion, an essential to zydeco music, as well as the frottoir—the washboard. But Chubby’s biggest talent seems to be putting on an energetic show that promises to get people on their feet and having a good time.

—Cassie Conner

Ecletic Theory The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Andrew Dixon Quartet Mike 'n Molly's, 5-7pm, $3 The Painkillers [blues] The Iron Post, 5-8pm, TBA Adam Wolfe Tommy G's, 5-7pm, free Andrew Duncanson [of Kilborn Alley Blues Band] Cowboy Monkey, 5:30pm, free Sojourn [rock] Fat City Saloon, 8;30pm, free Urbana Booking Co. presents: Hot Club d'Urbana, Spaghetti Western String Co., Duke of Uke The Iron Post, 9pm, $5 DownPour, Justify the Means, Midshift Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 The Brat Pack [‘80s pop/dance covers] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover DJ DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm-2am, TBA DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10:30pm, $5 DJ Elise [deep house, broken beat] Boltini, 6-10pm, free DJ Bonsu, DJ Impact [hip hop; Chicago deep house] Nargile, 9pm, free before 11pm, $5 after DJ Raphael [house, hip hop, rock] Cowboy Monkey, 9:30pm, free DJ Delayney [hip hop, soul] Barfly, 10pm, free CFK [house] Chester St., 10pm, TBA DJ Lil Big Bass [drum n bass, 2 step] Boltini, 10pm, free DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover Karaoke

Liquid Courage Karaoke The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am, TBA Karaoke American Legion, 8pm-1am, TBA Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free Theater Hamlet [a comedy by William Shakespeare] On (and around) the Quad, starting at Foellinger Hall, 8pm, free Lectures, Meetings, Workshops Personal Computer Maintenance, Upgrading Workshop [Learn more about the inner workings of a personal computer and hardware upgrading] Parkland College, 9am-1pm, $60 Contact Jeff Cox at 403-1385 for more info

SATURDAY july 30 Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Will Rogers Band[country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Music Among the Vines: Groove Yard [jazz] Alto Vineyards, 7:30-10:30pm, $3 Grass Roots Revival [bluegrass, country] Pages For All Ages, 8pm, free Grooveatron, Alan Vasquez The Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 Sick Day, Darlin Kisarm Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, $4 Kate Hathaway Band, Megan Johns The Iron Post, 10pm, $3 X-Krush [rock/pop/metal covers] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover Batch, Ras Attitude, The Zioniers [reggae] Cowboy Monkey, 10:30pm, $5 RLE Recordings Live Actions 002 [Mark Solotroff, Climax Denial, Pitstain, Wilt, Silvum] McKinley Foundation, 7-11pm, $5 DJ West Coast Swing/Night Club: DJ Lino Sidebar, 7:30-10:30pm, $4 Night of Elegance: DJ Asiatic, DJ Dice [jazz, R&B, hip hop, reggaeton] Nargile, 8pm, cover DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm, TBA DJ Night Paulie's, 9pm, free DJ Resonate [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ White Horse Inn, 10pm, free "G" Force DJ The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's, 9pm-1am, free Dancing Salsa Dancing: DJ Bris Mueller Sidebar, 10:30pm, $5 Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages, 11am, free Theater Hamlet [a comedy by William Shakespeare] On (and around) the Quad, starting at Foellinger Hall, 8pm, free Lectures, Meetings, Workshops Personal Computer Maintenance, Upgrading Workshop [Learn more about the inner workings of a personal computer and hardware upgrading] Parkland College, 9am-1pm, $60 Contact Jeff Cox at 403-1385 for more info

SUNDAY july 31 Live Music The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Liquid Courage Open Mic Night Geovanti's, 8pm-12am, free Andrew Duncanson [of Kilborn Alley Blues Band] The Iron Post, 6pm, TBA First Annual Rawk and Roll(ercoasters): Terminus Victor, Camero Rouge, Lil' Isaac and The Dirty Stank, Cameo Turret The Brass Rail, 9:30pm, $4 DJ DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm, TBA DJ Wesjile [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Baby Face Nargile, 8pm, TBA Jon Meske [house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free NOAH: DJ Dance Party Canopy Club, 10pm, $15 Lectures, Meetings, Workshops Monthly Scrapbook Kit Club Michaels Arts & Crafts, 2-4pm, $15 Audition Open audition [looking for male lead in short film. Should be 20-40 years old. Experience not required, resume a plus. Call Laura at 417-0567 for info] Dixon Graphics, 105 W John St, 4-6pm

MONDAY aug 1 Live Music Jazz Jam with ParaDocs Iron Post, 8-11pm, TBA Chris and Jim [cover band] White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Finga Lickin' The Office, 10:30pm, free Love and Joy [comedy & live R&B] Canopy Club, 10pm, $3 Open Mic Night hosted by Mike Ingram Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free

Quad Remedy [rock] Tommy G's, 10pm, free DJ Mojito Mondays [lounge music] Nargile, 10pm, free Ear Candy [house DJs] Nargile, 9pm, free DJ Delayney [hip hop/soul] Barfly, 10pm, free

TUESDAY aug 2 Live Music Bluegrass Jam [amateurs and professionals welcome] Verde Gallery, 7-9:30pm, free Open Jam/Open Mic hosted by Brandon T. Washington The Canopy Club, 9pm, 21+/free, $2/under 21 The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Adam Wolfe's Acoustic Night with Jess Greenlee Tommy G's, 10pm, free Open Stage Espresso Royale Goodwin & Oregon, 8pm, free Larry Gates [acoustic] White Horse Inn, 10pm, free DJ DJ Reaganomics [80’s requests] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Subversion: DJ ZoZo, DJ Evily, DJ TwinScin [goth/industrial/electro] The Highdive, 10pm, $2 Tremblin BG Barfly, 10pm, free DJ JB [hip hop music videos] Nargile, 9pm, free Bang!: DJ Impact, TBA [house and other sounds] Nargile, 10pm, TBA Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Neil St. Pub, 8pm-12am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's , 9pm-1am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke and DJ Track's, 9pm-1am Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign, 8pm, $7-$9 Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free Babies’ Lap Time [songs, stories and rhymes for the youngest patrons, birth-24 mo, with an adult] Urbana Free Library, 10:30-11am, free Molly Moon, Charlie Bone, Harry Potter Fantasy Reading Society [talk about our favorite fantasy characters and super powers we would like to have. For second grade and up] Urbana Free Library, 2-3pm, free Register at 367-4069 Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free WEDNESDAY aug 3 Live Music Apollo Poetics Nargile, 10pm, free Ed O'Hare and Friends Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Blues Night: Kilborn Alley Tommy G's, 10pm, free Chambana Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8-10pm Urbana Booking Co. presents: The Weakdaze, Emotional Rec Club, She Screams, J. Scott Franklin The Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 Jammin' Jimmy Bean Tommy G's, 10pm, free Green Mountain Grass [bluegrass] The Iron Post, 9pm, TBA DJ Chef Ra [roots, reggae] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ JB [roots, reggae] Barfly, 10pm, free Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti's, 10pm-2am, free

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Live Music Shovelrack White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, free Eclectic Theory Joe's Brewery, 5-8pm, TBA Young Kim Jazz Combo The Iron Post, 7-9pm, TBA Acoustic Music Series: Michael Blair Aroma, 8pm, free Jason Webley Channing-Murray Foundation, 8pm, $7 Chubby Carrier and the Bayour Swamp Band The Highdive, 8pm, $10 Jeff Helgesen [jazz] Zorba's, 9:30pm, $3 Tribute to Summer Camp: Kilborn Alley, The Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band The Canopy Club, 10pm, $3 Any Other Name Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, TBA JBC Jillian’s Band Battle III [visit jilliansbillards.com to enter] Jillian’s, 9pm, TBA DJ Ladies Night: DJ Asiatic, DJ Black Ice [hip hop, dance hall, reggaeton, salsa] Nargile, 9pm, TBA DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, electro] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Elise [house] Boltini, 10pm, free Solace: DJ J-Phlip, DJ Mertz [deep house] Soma, 10pm, cover Generic DJ Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8pm, TBA Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Pia's of Rantoul, 9pm-1am, free The Cheezy Trio [live band karaoke] Tommy G's, 9pm, free Dancing UIUC Swing Society McKinley Foundation 9:30pm-12am, free Health and Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign, 8pm, $7-$9 Belly Dance for Fitness Gold’s Gym, Champaign, 7:30pm, $7-$9 Group Meditation Ananda Liina, 2308 N High Cross Rd, Urbana, 5:30pm, free Wine Tasting Krannert Uncorked Krannert Art Center Lobby 5pm, free Kids Funfare [stories, songs, puppets, and films for children and their caregivers] Urbana Free Library, 10:30-11am, free

Living Language: Painting and Poetry Unite by Marie Mamaril [watercolor and acrylic on canvas] Pages for All Ages Aug 1–Sept 14 Artist reception with poetry by Mamaril and music by Maximo Aug 1, 7pm.

a richly nuanced sense of space. The exhibition includes his two most important series, Midwest Landscapes and Chicago Landscapes, as well as extremely rare mounted exhibition prints.] Krannert Art Museum through July 31

Raise the Roof! [A benefit for the Station Theatre in 10 Minute Plays] Station Theater July 28–Aug 6, $10-$12, Wednesday and Sundays are two for one.Acoustic Music at 7:10pm, plays start at 8pm.

Landscapes [works from David Stratton] Verde Gallery through July

Abstraction: Intertwining Identities [a retrospective of the life and works of James Belton Bonsall.] Illini Union Art Gallery through Aug 12 Reception on July 29 from 5-7pm Recent Works by Louis Ballard and Hua Nian [Community artists ponder existence through vibrant ceramics and acrylic/watercolor-painted creations. Using their chosen medium as a springboard, each artist illuminates the concept of personal identity born through life experience.] Parkland Art Gallery through Aug 4 The Pilsen Photo Group [This Chicago based collective creates,displays, and promotes experimental and traditional photography in their gallery in the historic Pilsen arts community. The show will feature the work of Champaign artist Richard Wilson.] Cinema Gallery through Aug 13

Hamish Fulton: Walking as Knowing as Making Krannert Art Museum through July 31 Art at Cafe Kopi [acrylic works by Lisa Strassheim] Cafe Kopi through July Larry Kanfer Gallery [Spectacular large Prairiescapes images. Also European, Cityscape, Woodland and the University of Illinois collections] Art With Intention Open Studio [Individually directed drop-in studio time allowing adults to explore their creative voices. Instructed by Sandra Ahten] Thursdays, 4-9pm. Visit www.spiritofsandra.com for details and location. Aroma Cafe is looking for artists to exhibit their work. If you are interested in exhibiting your art, please contact Amanda Bickel, art coordinator at Aroma Cafe at art4aroma@yahoo.com.

Study of Verbs and Study of Landscapes [abstract paintings by Sven] Aroma Cafe through Aug 31 American Horizons: The Photographs of Art Sinsabaugh [This major retrospective is the first complete survey of the remarkable photographs of Art Sinsabaugh (1924 -1983). A landscape photographer in the broadest sense, Sinsabaugh photographed rural and urban American environments, capturing

Outlaw Karaoke White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, free Salsa Dancing [salsa/mambo/bachata] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Lectures, Meetings, Workshops Open Poetry Night [writers may read their own work or just listen] Illini Union Bookstore,7-8 pm Fitness Yoga Ananda Liina, 2308 N High Cross Rd, Urbana, 5:30-7pm, free Kids Annual Bubble Blast [See how many bubbles you can make] Crystal Lake Park, 2-3pm, free

Art by Marie Mamaril

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THURSDAY july 28

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FEATURE PHOTO

ar tist’s corner

ryan gunzel

Ryan is a recent graduate from the University of Illinois, with a degree in creative writing and psychology. He is currently an unemployed starving artist living in Champaign, who will be moving to join other unemployed starving artists in Chicago, where he will either rock out until he is an old crotchety man with a shaky cane or meet an untimely death in a freak accident involving a toothbrush, two oranges and a shot of whiskey. What is your favorite city in the world and why?

Chicago. It’s awesome. Who do you consider your most influential author and why?

William Carlos Williams has been the biggest single influence in my writing. He focuses on the simple images and presents real life in such a real way that his writing becomes so beautifully genuine. I look at other writers who have influenced me, like Bukowski or Palahniuk, and they are striving to find the same simple line that Williams mastered. The simple lines, the simple images, they can hold so much meaning and experience.

DAVID SOLANA

through this program, of all the different parts that work together to make up a performance.” Laura Robertson, from Urbana High School, did the program last year as well as this year. She said,“I had a really great time during the program last year and I thought it did a lot for my experience.” Another program participant,Austin Abrams said,“I love doing technical work. The first day we did a ‘light hang,’ and we went up and did technical stuff, and we’ve had makeup training, and it’s been fun.” Matt Lutz said, “When I started looking for a summer job I knew I wanted a theater job but didn’t know where to start. James Berton Harris sent out an e-mail to the Theatre Department at U of I talking about auditions and interviews for the Summer Studio Theatre Company. I met with him one day and explained how Iwanted a summer job, so we talked and he offered me an apprentice stage manager position, which is the first year they are doing it.” Whether people are interested in doing theater or not, it seems that this program gives a taste of what it entails, to help people decide if they are really interested in pursuing it as their life’s work. Matt Lutz said,“Working during the summer made me realize how much work I will do for my job, but most importantly, how much I love to do the work as a stage manager.” Abrams, attending college next year, knew that he wanted to be an English major, but is hoping after this fun experience to be

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of Love.The money from this performance went toward supporting the Summer Studio Apprentice/Intern Program.This program was the idea of James Berton Harris. He said, “It seemed to me that I was having trouble finding crews in the summer because not a lot of people were able to commit. It really occurred to me during the year, because I have to focus on students and I’m not able to do any outreach. So, I came up with this as an ideal opportunity to bring in students never exposed to a stage based on the professional model, and have them interact with experienced actors.” In past years, the main focus has been acting. Elizabeth DeVore, the production stage manager and company manager, said, “It’s a new thing [to allow other focuses]; we’re going to see how it works out, but so far it’s been going really good. In general, they do a lot of work, including prep for shows, work in shops (mostly prop), help with loading of sets, doing lights (painting and such), running crew and strike.”All of the apprentices are in Broadway in one role or another, and one of the interns has a walk-on part. They also have various acting or technical classes three hours a day, three days a week during their time there. Anne mentioned, “I was thinking last night that people have no idea what’s going on behind the set. There’s a backstage stage manager who oversees everything behind the scenes and there is a stage manager who watches everything in front of the screen, and they have to coordinate everything. The interns get a taste,

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c involved in various theater activities when he gets settled. Regardless of whether or not people found out that they wanted to be actors, they seemed to find their niche and have a good experience. The culminating performance, which takes place July 30 at 2 p.m., is called Simply Simon: Scenes and Songs from the Works of Playwright Neil Simon. All of the interns and apprentices have been studying works by Neil Simon, since the Summer Studio Theatre Company is performing one of his works, The Last of the Red Hot Lovers. The actors came to speak to the interns and apprentices, as well as the director, to give their views of the work. The students also watched an interview of Neil, exploring the comedy and comedic style. I encourage any students in high school interested to be sure to look at Krannert as a possible summer program. Auditions occur around February. In the meantime, go to the free performance on July 30 at 2 p.m. The interns and apprentices will be doing a song and a scene from Neil Simon, and it looks to be a lot of fun.

What is your favorite quote and why?

‘A writer is not so much someone who has something to say as he is someone who has found a process that will bring about new things he would not have thought of if he had not started to say them.’ — William Stafford.Writing is a learning process. So many people view it as an effort toward production, which will have some sort of clear ending or goal in sight, such as money or fame or love. But the best writers don’t write because they want to make money or have someone fall in love with them. The best writers vomit themselves on the paper, and in the process they learn something about themselves or the world in which they live. Everything else, the wealth, the power, the popularity, are simply digressions. What is your favorite topic to write about?

I really like to watch and listen to people.Writing about people and my interactions with them is what I do naturally. If I’m stuck and can’t write anything, I go get a cup of coffee, watch people, and write about what they are doing. There are a lot of interesting details that are very telling of a person, which turn into good writing. Which do you prefer, poetry or prose, and why?

In terms of writing, I really enjoy poetry more than prose.With poetry it’s easier to focus on a single image or thought and develop everything around it. To me, poetry is a much tighter form of writing—there seems to be less clutter in poetry. Even though many aspects of prose can be found in poetry, such as character, plot, etc., these things are not required for poetry.

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[an old man walks by me everyday] an old man walks by me everyday he wears the same smooth pants baggy grey sweatshirt sleeves pulled over his wrinkled liver-spot hands his white hair always blowing like a song played by a wisping saxophone in the wind his back hunched in a perpetual sway and waltz with gravity the scent of fabric softener clinging to his clothes and coffee to his hair and that steady paced walk so careful stepping slowly while girls in short skirts ruffles flapping with every gust and maybe a flash of cotton panties pass him the envelope in his hand swishing against the leg of his pants never in a hurry

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this week in music

TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

British rockers Bloc Party will release a remix of their latest and first album, Silent Alarm. Silent Alarm Remixed will retain the same track order, only with remixes from other independent heavy-hitters such as M83, Death From Above 1979, Ladytron and Mogwai. Fans can hear a stream of it at http://www.blocparty.com/marshals/.

STAFF WRITER

On July 21 and 22, Krannert hosted a benefit titled Speakeasy ...

GET A BETTER SEX.

iTunes has raised its wholesale payout to musicians to 70 cents per download, while the customer still pays 99 cents per song. Good news for artists everywhere!

“Learning through experience” •

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THE HURLYBURLY

KRANNERT THEATER INTERNING BETH DILLMAN

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Kaiser Chiefs Employment Universal BY CLAIRE NAPIER

The Kaiser Chiefs are: A.) Friends of Illinois’ Chief Illiniwek; B.) The authorities on baking kaiser rolls; C.) A band consisting of four guys from Great Britain, named after a South African soccer team, whose lyrics and music are as unpredictable and offbeat as their name. The Kaiser Chiefs’ debut Employment has listeners humming along from the first track with the catchy and amusing “Everyday I Love You Less And Less,” boasting perhaps the most amusing line on the entire album: “I can’t believe once you and me did sex/It makes me sick to think of you undressed.” The record also sports another less-than-subtle way of telling a woman that the singer just does not like her: “It does not move me, it does not get me going at all.”The band shows some more depth lyrically on their first single “I Predict a Riot” while still remaining witty and clever. On “Modern Way,” one of the more mellow tracks, the lyrics become even more serious, pondering the way people lead their lives in a modern world. Employment features several other tracks that are little mellower than the style indicated by the album’s opening track. A few are catchy, but the last two songs, “Caroline, Yes” and “Team Mate” are two of the slowest and most forgettable. However, the success of the earlier songs on this 13-track album makes up for the album’s weak ending.

Veteran

#86 scenesters will recall Chyme, a female-fronted rock band here from 1996 to 2002. Chyme bassist Ryan LaBoube and percussionist Frank Petreikis are active again in Below Eden, along with vocalist Jon Hall and “sludge” guitarist Jimmy Tsai. Below Eden cut a demo with Mark Rubel in June, and a debut album is due fall 2005. In the meantime, they will launch their permanent Web site Monday and introduce stickers and T-shirts later in August. Below Eden play their third show Aug. 13 in the Mike ‘n Molly’s beer garden with The Respondent (ex-The Frame, exSherman, ex-Monster Honkey) and Stood Up. July 23, acoustic quartet elsinore taped a live album at Jackson Avenue Coffee in Charleston. Motherlode and Jenny Keefe opened the show, which raised a good deal for Peace Meal Senior Nutrition Project (Meals on Wheels). Aug. 15 is elsinore’s next visit for Acoustic at Aroma and for WEFT Sessions on Aug. 18.

Pop trio Mad Science Fair have a name now for their forthcoming album: ... for a better tomorrow. The album will be recorded with Adam Schmitt and released later this year. Mad Science Fair play Saturday at Cal’s in Chicago for RAWK and ROLL(ercoasters). The next hometown show is Aug. 27 in the Mike ‘n Molly’s beer garden with Rob McColley. Tonight, Seattle accordionist-puppeteer Jason Webley brings his Tomato Tour 2005 to the Channing-Murray Foundation. Show time is 8 p.m., and cover is $7. Also tonight at 8, Madison Greene founder Michael Blair shares his “aggressive acoustic” music at Aroma. Admission is free. Tomorrow, newcomer Lynn O’Brien performs at Caffe Paradiso. Show time is 7 p.m., and admission is free. Todd J. Hunter hosts WEFT Sessions and Champaign Local 901, two hours of live localmusic every Monday night at 10:00 on 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com.

Soul-pop singer Joss Stone recently was dropped from her million-dollar contract with the Gap for moving in MOMENT OF THE WEEK with her 17-year-old boyfriend. A Gap spokesperson explained, “People take the age of consent extremely seriously in America. The backbone of Gap’s business is in small towns in Middle America where people are very, very conservative, especially in the Southern Bible Belt.” The company will now replace its devilish, whore-faced heathen spokeswoman with the quietly unassuming Michelle Williams of late pop group, Destiny’s Child. What an interesting move by Gap, a company which had been previously known to make contracts with Madonna, Sarah Jessica Parker, Liz Phair and Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott.

w H at tH e He L L?

by Ryan Gunzel

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SETH F: It’s weird. I didn’t realize that they were that FRED K: They call themselves ‘literary rock.’

PHOTO BY ALEX RODIGUEZ

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“Yup, two corpses, everything’s fine.� - Clue

THE ISLAND PAUL PRIKAZSKY • LEAD REVIEWER

Tabrasive he cinematic gods really hate Michael Bay. His brash and approach to simple storylines makes him the butt of

many jokes from legions of fanboys. Yet, the often critically panned director remains undaunted. This summer, he puts his sanctimonious spin on the sci-fi thriller The Island. Lincoln Six-Echo (Ewan McGregor) and Jordan Two-Delta (Scarlett Johansson) live in a not-too-distant future where a plague has contaminated the world’s population. They live in a self-contained community with other survivors where they lead rigorously scheduled lives. All inhabitants eagerly wait for selection to the island: the last uncontaminated spot on the planet, where they are expected to start civilization again. At least, that’s what their godlike leader, Merrick (Sean Bean) wants them to believe. But they have all been deceived ... They are actually clones of wealthy investors who are harvested for use of their vital organs and then disposed of. When Lincoln makes this startling discovery, he flees with Jordan. As they attempt to track down their duplicates, they are doggedly pursued by Laurent (Djimon Hounsou), a ruthless hunter who will stop at nothing to destroy them and keep the truth a secret.

With shameless product placement, encircling panoramic helicopter shots and lots of explosions, we’re quickly reminded that we’re watching a Michael Bay movie. Granted, they may be trademarks from his days with uberproducer Jerry Bruckheimer, but they are done in the taste of a two-hour commercial. Bay comes from the filmmaking philosophy that “bigger is undoubtedly better.� Unfortunately, excess doesn’t always make a compelling story and The Island is proof of that. Everything is presented on an epic scale; even the volume of the film seems overblown. Once the action kicks into high gear, any coherent shred of a story is buried under Bay’s absurd pyrotechnics. It seems as though a real story scared the bejesus out of him and he piled on as many outrageous effects as humanly (no pun intended) possible. The Island does boast an impressive cast, which is one of the few high points of the film. Ewan McGregor is decent in his role, but his onscreen persona has been reduced to headlining bigbudget event movies with no room to display his acting prowess. It seems that Sean Bean has become Hollywood’s go-to guy for playing villains. This is unfortunate because he is one of the few actors who could cross the spectrum in different roles, but is never given the opportunity. Prior to the second and third acts of the film, you could swear you’re watching a big-screen adaptation from the works of seminal sci-fi novelist Phillip K. Dick. Morality and social issues thinly disguised against a futuristic backdrop were frequent themes in the influential writer’s work. Even as Bay leaves his ugly fingerprints over the latter part of the film, the ideas still manage to

DREAMWORKS PICTURES

THE BIRTH INTONATION OF AN

“Everything all right?�

THE ISLAND • SCARLETT JOHANSSON & EWAN MCGREGOR

escape the special effects. We are left questioning the human nature of these pseudo-people and society’s right to harvest them for personal benefit. It is disheartening to see a film with boundless potential fall apart. In the hands of a more capable director, The Island could have been a wonderful sci-fi film. It has one of the few unique premises to hit the screen this summer. But the promising story succumbs to the machinations of a materialistic director, whose visual aura suffocates the story.

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Top 10

the week’s top

BOX OFFICE 1. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ($28.3M) 2. Wedding Crashers ($25.7M) 3. Fantastic Four ($12.6M) 4. The Island ($12.4M) 5. Bad News Bears ($11.4M) 6. War of the Worlds ($8.9M) 7. 8. 9. 10.

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WEDDING CRASHERS (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:20 1:55 4:15 4:50 7:10 8:00 9:50 10:30 Sun. - Thu. 1:20 1:55 4:15 4:50 7:10 8:00 9:50 WAR OF WORLDS (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:40 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:40

Hustle & Flow ($8M) The Devil’s Rejects ($7.1M) Batman Begins ($4.7M) March of the Penguins ($4.4M)

DVD RENTALS 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

Million Dollar Baby The Pacifier Hide and Seek Hitch Miss Congeniality 2 Diary of a Mad Black Woman Coach Carter Hostage National Treasure Meet the Fockers

Willy Wonka keeps his hold on the box office for a second weekend, as Tim Burton’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory rakes in $28.3 million.

CHARLIE & CHOCOLATE (PG) Fri. Sat. & Mon. - Thu. 1:30 2:00 4:00 5:00 7:00 8:00 9:55 11:00 Sun. 1:30 2:00 4:00 5:00 7:00 8:00 9:55 BATMAN BEGINS (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:55

BAD NEWS BEARS (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 12:05 Fri. - Thu. 1:30 1:55 4:15 THE ISLAND (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 1:45 4:00 5:00 4:45 7:00 7:20 9:35 9:55 7:00 8:10 10:00 11:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 1:45 4:00 MUST LOVE DOGS (PG–13) 5:00 7:00 8:10 10:00 Fri. & Sat. 1:10 1:45 3:30 4:45 5:50 7:10 8:10 9:30 FANTASTIC FOUR (PG–13) 10:25 11:45 Fri. & Sat. 1:30 4:15 7:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:10 1:45 3:30 9:45 12:00 4:45 5:50 7:10 8:10 9:30 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:45 SKY HIGH (PG) Fri. & Sat. 1:55 4:25 7:15 9:40 11:55 HUSTLE & FLOW (R) Fri. - Sun. - Thu. 1:55 4:25 7:15 Thu. 1:35 4:30 7:10 9:50 9:40 DEVIL'S REJECTS (R) Fri. ◆ STEALTH (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:50 4:10 7:15 9:55 Thu. 1:00 1:30 4:00 4:30 12:05 7:00 7:30 9:55 10:10 Sun. - Thu. 1:50 4:10 7:15 9:55

Showtimes for 7/29 thru 8/4

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popular. KYLE: How did you guys think A.C. Newman’s album translated In between to a live show? each song they’d say something like, ‘This is about our SETH H: I really like his record, and I really like his stuff with The New Pornographers. I think he’s great and a great songwriter protagonist in World War I.’ SETH F: Right, it’s like English class all over again. and all that, but I think he’s another one of those bands that KYLE: It’s kind of a weird thing to have those guys going last. doesn’t translate well into an outdoor festival. SETH H: They were one of the biggest bands there though. SETH F: What does translate well into an outdoor festival? SETH F: The truth is ... they lost their two headliners— SETH H: Nothing, really. FRED: In terms of drinking beer in the sun, it’s not bad. The Fiery Furnaces and The Arcade Fire. KYLE: I was wondering why those bands weren’t there. SETH H: Yeah, I had a ball. I had a great time, but I’ve gone to shows SETH F: They probably had to play with the balls of Tortoise to and been more satisfied with the music. After Broken Social Scene, get them to play.They prob- I didn’t go stand and watch another band the rest of the night. ably really had to swoon SETH H: They were the only band that I thought sounded good them to get them to head- outdoors. Like,The Go! Team sucked. line the festival, because KYLE: Yeah, they sucked—unbelievably bad live.Their super-happy thing is like the Flaming Lips ... they’re a headlining band. SETH F: It’ll be interesting to SETH F: Don’t compare The Go! Team with the Flaming Lips. see how Pitchfork reacts KYLE: I just think it’s hard to explain what the difference is. towards The Arcade Fire from SETH F: The difference is, the Flaming Lips are so cerebral and ... what? here on out. Lollapalooza SETH H: I’m sorry, I’m just laughing because the Flaming Lips just got compared to The Go! Team. literally stole them. KYLE: Starting at the beginKYLE: I just think they both have that be-happy-even-if-your-lifening of the festival, which is sucks sort of thing. SETH H: Is that what the Flaming Lips is all about? Be happy the first you liked? SETH F: Head of Femur. with your life? I had them at Caffe Paradiso FRED: That and taking acid. I thought The Go! Team brought three years ago, and they had in some well-needed enthusiasm at that point in the festival. like 10 members. They were SETH H: I thought it was cheesy. I sat there, standing at the record spilling off the stage, and fair, and I saw all the 10,000 indie fans jumping up and down, I knew right then that they which I didn’t think was possible. were going to be a great band. FRED: Which says something about the subjective nature of these SETH H: Is that the key to things. It all depends on where you’re sitting. being a great band? How many KYLE: The other thing was that they had two guitarists ... SETH F: What’s wrong with that? members you have? KYLE G: Andrew Bird, KYLE: ... they didn’t have any worthwhile guitar parts. I think he was the best act of SETH H: You bashed Magnolia Electric Co.’s set ... I thought they the weekend. It was just him were fantastic. KYLE: I think Jason Molina is awesome. I’m a little alt-counand a drummer. SETH F: I would say that or try weary, but I think they’re a great band. Andrew Bird performs his looped chamber-pop with extreme poise despite the wilting heat Xiu Xiu, although I don’t SETH F: He’s a great guy, a real blue-collar guy, and they stop everywhere.They’re playing Galveston,Texas.They’re playing five shows like their electronic beats. KYLE GORMAN • MUSIC EDITOR KYLE: Anyway,The M’s. in Ontario. Before their show here, he bought me shots. I had FRED KOSCHMANN • STAFF WRITER SETH F: They’re a rock club band. They’re actually coming down offered, but he bought them.A couple weeks later, he calls me back. At the first-ever INTONATION MUSIC FESTIVAL, curated by the ubiquitous here on Sept. 29 ... What kind of guy calls his promoter back? Jason Molina, I guess. monolith Pitchforkmedia.com, the thousands of fans shared something else SETH H: The M’s are fantastic. I’ve seen them several times in the KYLE: What about The Wrens? unique: Every fan had read about the festival, their faces illuminated by a com- last six months. They’ve definitely been better, but they were FRED: Extremely long set. puter monitor. Featuring over 20 independent acts in Chicago’s Union Park, still really good [at Intonation]. KYLE: What about The Hold Steady? the concert was also a model of economy with two-day passes going for $22. SETH F: There was some problem with the sound. SETH H: I think they suck.What are they doing besides regurgitatAfter the festival, Buzz got staff writers Imran Siddiquee and Fred SETH H: Yeah, I think you can tell from Saturday who was trav- ing bar rock from the ’70s and having this guy talk over it? Koschmann, music editor Kyle Gorman, Urbana Booking Co.’s Seth Fein, eling with their own sound guy and who wasn’t. A.C. Newman KYLE: So the DJs, did you guys check out any? and Polyvinyl Records’ Seth Hubbard together to kick back a few brews and wasn’t mixed very well.The first band that I noticed that sound- SETH H: I heard it didn’t go over so well. I love Will discuss the goings-on at Murphy’s. Here is a adaptation of their conversation. ed good was Magnolia Electric Oldham to death, but he’s not a DJ. Co. That’s kind of a different KYLE: Both of the closer acts for the night (Tortoise and the KYLE: Diplo was awesome. tier of being a band. Once you There’s a hypothetical machine in a room in Wicker Decemberists)—kind of chilled out ... SETH H: I think aside from get to travel with your own Park in Chicago, hand-cranked by underpaid illegal SETH F: I left, wasn’t even there. the fans, the record fair and sound guy, you know you’ve immigrants day and night. It’s like the monolith in 2001. KYLE: Too tired? the DJ tent, you have to take made it. We don’t know who it’s run by, we don’t know anySETH F: Yeah, I love Tortoise, but that’s the thing about this festival KYLE: Anyway, A.C. Newman. a step back. When I was thing, except it affects everything, and that’s what the to me: I felt like it was too long.You can open the gates early, like How can this guy not realize driving home on Saturday promotions tap into. If it’s hot, you don’t need to put up they did, and offer the different types of activities ... but I say, don’t that he was playing an entire night, I was thinking about a poster, or play it on the radio, or take out an ad, start the show until three, and do less bands. set out of tune? how I couldn’t believe that because the word is out. – Seth Fein SETH H: I think that was one of the biggest complaints, that there SETH F: Nervous. I doubt he’s 10,000 people came out were too many bands, and I think the heat was a big problem, ever played a festival that big. to see indie bands. too. I’m a big fan of A.C. Newman. I stood there for three songs SETH H: I really think that the sound was so bad coming out, KYLE: What do you think about all the kids who showed up? and couldn’t stand it. The sun was just beating down on you; I bet he didn’t have a decent monitor mix on stage, or anything SETH H: I think a lot of those kids had a serious commitment to there was no breeze. like that. So he probably couldn’t hear a damn thing that he was fashion to wear a tweed blazer and jeans on a 95-degree day. SETH F: Better that than a rainout. doing; he just had to roll with it and assume that he was in tune. SETH F: It was what I expected.There were the legions of indie kids SETH H: Yeah, but why not just have it on a not-so-hot day? The mix was wretched. and then there were interested listeners, people who realize that I mean, they can’t really control the weather, but ... FRED: You know, to his credit, I was just coming into the festival at there’s a music festival going on for this cheap. As a promoter I was SETH F: I know Pitchfork is considered to be god, but they actualthat point, and so I could only barely hear it. And what I did hear incredibly impressed by what [Pitchfork] was able to pull off. And ly aren’t. Breaking news. were some of the only catchy and melodic songs that I heard that day. they didn’t take any ads out anywhere.When you get a million hits KYLE: That’s good, Pitchfork can’t control the rain. SETH H: Well, A.C. Newman essentially writes pop songs, so there’s a month [on their Web site], you don’t need to advertise. SETH F: Some would argue that, though. going to be some catchy pop hooks, and with a lot of the other SETH H: I think independent-music culture is at the height of its KYLE: Absolutely. What do you think of the Decemberists popularity thus far. It’s going to keep going. buzz bands ... like, you’re not going to hear any pop hooks in Tortoise. as a closing act for a huge festival like that?

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14 • b u z z w e e k l y

WE’LL BE SOARING LIKE EAGLES WITH POGO STICKS.

MUST LOVE DOGS Diane Lane & John Cusack This summer’s been a little lacking in the romantic comedy categor y (no, Wedding Crashers doesn’t count), and Must Love Dogs looks to fill the void. Lane plays a newly single preschool teacher whose sisters enter her into an online dating ser vice looking for a man who, among other things, must love dogs. John Cusack is the quirky soul who answers the call. (Andrew Vecelas) SKY HIGH Kurt Russell & Kelly Preston Had enough of superhero movies yet? Too bad. Mrs. John Travolta and Mr. Goldie Hawn play two premier heroes who send their child to the world’s only superhero high school. Only problem is that their son has no superpowers of his own, and is relegated to being a mere sidekick. That is, until he has to prove himself and save his parents from an evil villain. Fanboys may want to see this to catch Bruce Campbell as a gym teacher with an attitude problem. (Andrew Vecelas) STEALTH Jamie Foxx & Jessica Biel From the director of Fast and the Furious comes this high-tech extravaganza that’s being called a cross between Wargames and Top Gun. Biel, Foxx and Josh Lucas are three ace pilots who have to take down a renegade stealth bomber controlled by ar tificial intelligence. Nice to see Jamie Foxx putting that new Oscar statuette to good use. (Andrew Vecelas)

SYD SLOBODNIK • STAFF WRITER

What in the world was director Richard

Linklater thinking doing a nearly paint-bynumbers remake of the successful, irreverent Michael Ritchie film Bad News Bears—the 1976 comedy about a drunken little-league baseball manager and his team of middle-school-aged foulmouthed misfits? For longer than the past decade Linklater has been known as a thoughtful independent writer, whose innovative characters, in cult favorites like Slacker and Dazed and Confused and critically praised narratives in sensitive art-house films, like Before Sunrise, made him a filmmaker whose next project viewers anxiously awaited. Aside from the hefty paycheck and the opportunity to make a film with Billy Bob Thornton, it’s a mystery why he’d waste his creative energy on a lightweight remake of such a simple comedy. In fact, Ritchie’s original Bad News Bears was like many of his satiric, dramatic comedies of the 1970s that mocked America’s pastimes and institutions. Politics, beauty pageants and Olympic ski competitions were roasted in some of the funniest films of that decade: The Candidate, Smile and Downhill Racer. The original Bears also featured veteran funnyman Walter Matthau, and the Oscar-winning child-phenom Tatum O’Neal.

The original Bears was a hilarious critique of America’s favorite pastime that debunked ideas of how baseball built character and lead young boys into a world of fair play and teamwork. Linklater’s remake seems more of a star vehicle for the limited talents of Billy Bob Thornton. His Bad News Bears is a darker, less humorous look at the rather pathetic Morris Buttermaker, a former professional pitcher who’s hired by a lawyer and single mother of one of the little leaguers to manage a team of losers. With BAD NEWS BEARS • a scraggy goatee, tattoos, dark sunglasses and a beer can spiked with whiskey, Thornton tackles his new job with such a mean spirit that he’s clearly not the type of person any respectable parent wo u l d want to coach his or her child. Buttermaker swears up a storm of borderline PG-13 curses, enlists the team sponsorship of a local gentleman’s club and takes the boys out for postgame snacks at a local Hooters.Thornton is effective as a drunken womanizing slouch, but not as a comic role model for young boys in a kids’ film like this. Where the original film had a rather charming estranged father-daughter relationship with Matthau’s coach and tomboy star pitcher, played by O’Neal, there is almost no chemistry between Thornton and Sammi Kane Kraft, who

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buzz weekly •

I USED TO LIVE CLOSER TO THE WISCONSIN BORDER THAN CLAIRE ONCE DID.

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PARAMOUNT PICTURES

Fresh flicks BAD NEWS BEARS opening this weekend

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JEFFREY DAVIES & BILLY BOB THORNTON

plays the coach’s estranged daughter Amanda. The childish humor of awkward baseball practices with the team’s collection of nonathletic, oddball kids approaches the effectiveness of the original film, and most moviegoers should enjoy the classic Cinderella story of the Bears’ eventual successes. The film’s biggest sin is the complete misuse of the talents of Marcia Gay Harden, a quality actress who won an Oscar several years ago for Pollack. She’s wasted playing the stereotypical lawyer mom who cannot make enough quality time for her boy. Like many of the feeble remakes already seen this summer, Linklater’s Bad News Bears is ultimately an unnecessary endeavor.

An unfortunate driver is hauled out of the derby before it begins after she couldn't start her car.

Cars with numbers like 1018, 6.7 and WD-40 painted on them alongside humorous phrases like “hit me here” and “here I come” conveyed the true laid-back mood of the event. On many of these cars and trucks other, more serious phrases were included such as “support our troops” and the names of relatives and friends who are deployed overseas. Others have the names of sponsors such as Reynolds Towing, who may have donated the cars, painted on the doors. The most exciting event of the night turned out to be the only truck heat of the evening. The participants used their heavily reinforced tailgates to hurtle toward their opponent’s hoods and truck beds. This heat featured some of the most violent and crowd-pleasing collisions. All the while, the announcer egged the drivers on to hammer into the other trucks. In the end, Beth Schrock and Coplan did make it to the final round, but neither finished in the money. Coplan’s car was so damaged in a preliminary heat that it would not start for him to actually participate in the final free-for-all. Schrock made it to the ring for the final heat, but seemed to have car problems right off the bat and made a quick exit. In any event, all of the drivers seemed to be in high spirits after the competition had ended. None of the vehicles involved were street legal and it was obvious that none of them have passed any emissions tests lately. However, demolition derbies do not happen every weekend and it is OK to break the rules every now and again to entertain in the dog days of summer. Especially if the entertainment is a night of safely crashing cars. buzz

Champaign County Fair Remaining Schedule Admission to the Fair is $5 for adults, and children under 12 years old are free, as is parking. Thursday, July 28 4-H Day 1:30-4 p.m. - Champaign-Urbana Optimist Club sponsors carnival rides for children 3-12 years old 7 p.m. - World Championship Rodeo Friday, July 29 11 a.m. - “Super” Friday Tractor Pull 6 p.m. - Swine Carcass Auction 8 p.m. - Country Music Show - Josh Turner Saturday, July 30 Youth Day 12-5 p.m. – Unlimited carnival rides for $15 5 p.m. - Tractor Pull, Illinois Championship Semi-Truck Pull

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“I think it appeals to your raw instincts . I’m sure everyone

f r e e

would like to take a car out and stomp it in the ground. It gives

GEMINI

people a chance to take their frustration out and to have

fun at the same time. It appeals to your animal instincts.” Bob Ferguson • Former Indiana Derby Champion

ARIES

PHOTOS • DAVID SOLANA

DEMOLITION DERBY DRIVES FANS TO COUNTY FAIR

A car takes itself out of the demolition derby with a direct hit. TODD SWISS

W

STAFF WRITER

hite smoke, dirt and exhaust filled the air. There was a brief moment of silence just after the roaring engines had died down and the cheers of approval and satisfaction from the audience in the grandstand arrived. The championship heat of Friday night’s demolition derby had just come to an exciting conclusion and everyone got their money’s worth of classic county-fair entertainment. Although the number of participants was down from previous years, that didn’t stop the drivers from creating a completely enjoyable experience for everyone involved. In six heats of unabashed destruction, over 30 drivers crashed and smashed into each other in hopes of winning

the $600 grand prize or placing in the next five positions, which also guaranteed prize money. Even though no one would have refused the money, trophies or the thrill of victory, those three things were not the true focus of many of the drivers. Most of them were there just for the intense fun and excitement of playing a grown-up version of bumper cars. The field of drivers in this particular event was more diverse than one would expect. Friday’s event included two women, a rarity in driving sports, one of whom reached the championship round. Although most of the drivers lived in the Champaign-Urbana area, contestants

TAU RU S

came from as far away as Florida, Texas and Kentucky. The fact that people would travel such distances just to crash cars gives some insight into how much they truly love demolition derbies. Just a half hour before the first heat was to begin, crews were busy making last-minute adjustments to their drivers’ windowless cars and trucks. Abandoning more sophisticated tools, the crews worked furiously on the vehicles with sledgehammers, blowtorches and sheets of scrap metal to strengthen and reinforce the sections that were most susceptible to collisions of speeds up to 30 miles per hour. Metal beams were added and seats were removed. These vehicles are not meant for passengers. While the crews were working hard, many of the drivers decided to sit back and relax before entering the dirt ring with calculated recklessness. Steve Coplan of Rantoul, who is a seven-year veteran of demolition derbies, was doing just that. He was relaxing on a folding chair near a friend who was also competing in a matter of minutes. Coplan joked that he was a doctor before confessing that he was not actually a physician, but really worked for FedEx.When asked if he had ever won, he just laughed and blamed his long losing streak on bad luck and the logs that outline the dirt ring. Like many of the drivers, Coplan was just there for fun and he surely seemed to be enjoying himself. Not only was this year’s derby a competition between friends and acquaintances, it also turned out to be a family affair. Beth Schrock came all the way from McKinney, Texas, to try to smash her way to the final round in hopes of placing in the top six. Schrock, a personal trainer by day, was driving in her second demolition derby. Her brother, Kenny, an electrician from St. Joseph, was participating for the fifth straight year. Like Coplan, the Schrocks were in it for fun, but wouldn’t mind doing well and taking home some cash as an added bonus. The best that Kenny Schrock had done in a previous demolition derby was a sixth-place finish. Just before the first heat, there was a driver’s meeting where the ground rules were laid.The rules are basically set to maximize safety and entertainment value for the audience.The main rule prohibited crashing into the driver’s door of the other vehicles. Other rules included one that forbid teamwork and another one that required all participants to make an effort to make contact with the other vehicles to ensure an action-filled show for everyone.

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C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

(March 21-April 19)

Have you been dreaming of frogs, worms, and potted plants? Researchers have found that pregnant women have an inordinate number of encounters with those three things during their sleep-time adventures. And while you may not technically be carrying a developing baby inside you, you are at least gestating a brainchild. Like a woman who will give birth in the not-too-distant future, you're both delicate and strong, a bit lumbering but radiantly graceful, sometimes out of sorts but often wiser than you've ever been.

7

s c e n e

(April 20-May 20)

As Deputy Defense Secretary, Paul Wolfowitz was a key part of the team that planned America's invasion of Iraq in 2003. These days he's got a new gig, President of the World Bank, and prefers not to be distracted by the Downing Street memo and other ever-growing evidence that the war was built on faulty and deceitful assumptions. "There will be a time and place to talk about history," he has said, "but I really don't believe it's now." Wolfowitz should be your anti-role model in the coming week, Taurus. This is the time and this is the place for you to talk and think about your own personal history in exhaustive detail.

s o u n d s

f r o m

30 Pre-Windows system 31 Outdoor job that sucks on account of the costume 36 "I agree with that" 37 1995 pop hit "As ___ Me Down" 38 Job where you may be stuck behind an open grill 44 College deg. for future high school coaches, maybe 45 Ranch ending? 46 Still around 47 Tea that literally means "black dragon" 50 Gp. that includes Venezuela, Qatar and Libya 53 Fall behind 54 Job that may have you dressing ahead for the winter while shooting

t h e

s c e n e

a s t r o l o g y

what ’s your sign?

(May 21-June 20)

According to author Truman Capote, "It's a scientific fact that if you stay in California, you lose one point of IQ for every year." I hope he was wrong, since it would mean my IQ has already declined 28 points since I moved to the West Coast in 1977. But even if his theory is correct, and you're a Gemini who lives in California, you'll be able to recover some of your lost intelligence in the coming weeks. That's because the current astrological configurations virtually guarantee that you'll be getting smarter, and probably wiser as well. As for you Twins living outside of California, you can expect to soar as close to the genius level as you ever have.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

Emily Dickinson had a boundless imagination and an intense craving for privacy. She wrote nearly 1800 poems, but kept them to herself, stashing most of them in a trunk belonging to her maid. Only seven of them were published while she was alive. Why did she hide the brilliant and prolific outpouring of her soul? No one really knows. Let's make sure you don't follow her example, Cancerian. In my astrological opinion, it's high time for you to begin revealing at least some of the incredible beauty that you conceal from the world. When you look back at this period of your life 40 years from now, maybe you'll say, "That was the turning point, when I stopped being such a closely guarded secret."

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

"The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses," wrote Carl Sagan. "They laughed at Columbus and they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown." I bring this to your attention, Leo, because your bright ideas may be met with skeptical amusement in the coming week. Is that because they're in the Wright brothers' category or more like Bozo's?

crossword

jonesin crossword puzzle

Across 1 Pate de foie ___ 5 Amount on a tag 9 Mr. in the vending machine 13 Jenna Jameson forte 14 It starts when the curtain goes up 15 "Excuse ___..." (polite request) 16 Gym job that'll make you sweat, with 58across 18 Where Natalee disappeared 19 Job where you deal with asphalt fumes 21 Drive-thru visitor 24 Like a stoner's thoughts 25 Card game beloved by Howard Dean 26 Acrobat maker 28 ___ in "Edward"

w i l l

in the summer Levy imposer See 16-across How hair may stand Cry of victory In ___ of (replacing) Eliot portrayed in "The Untouchables" 66 Mafia bosses 67 Garden pest 57 58 62 63 64 65

Down 1 Nav. system 2 Turn bad 3 Live and breathe 4 Electronica group behind that "I've got the power!" music sample 5 Get to the turkey 6 Suburb west of Orlando 7 Walked all over 8 "Dark Side of the

Moon" track with all the clocks 9 Birdcage fixture 10 Enthusiastic answer 11 Little household trinket 12 Barroom melees 15 Class that's "hard," according to a talking Barbie doll 17 Words sometimes seen before "TV" 20 Button on old cash registers 21 Half-___ latte 22 Tooth doctor's gp. 23 Icelandic band Sigur ___ 27 Riboflavin's number 29 In the thick of 32 Sandinista leader Daniel 33 Scratch-n-sniff emanation 34 Muslim fighter in the Crusades 35 Combining form meaning "circular" 38 Gonzaga University's city 39 Spiral shapes 40 It's on the first floor of a motel 41 Substance for slippery wrestling 42 Eggs 43 Beer holder 44 City where you'd hear "wicked retahded" 48 Jesse who shined in Berlin 49 Pharrell Williams's rap group 51 Put a ___ (brew coffee) 52 Blissful spots 55 River ___ (old Atari game) 56 Substances collectively called "the bad cholesterol" 59 Feel off 60 Original, to Orff 61 Pull Answers pg. 11

I suspect they'll actually be a mix of both--half-ingenious and half-cracked. Your job is to be ruthlessly honest as you figure out which are which.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Last June in Ethiopia, seven men kidnapped a 12-year-old girl and held her in a remote wilderness for seven days. Then a miracle occurred. Three lions sprang out of nowhere and chased the abductors away. They protected the girl until a search team arrived, then slipped away. "The lions stood guard until we found her and then they just left her like a gift and went back into the forest," said one of the rescuers. I've told you this story, Virgo, because I believe it has metaphorical resemblances to an adventure you're in the middle of.

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

There would be no apples if it weren't for the bees that pollinate apple blossoms. Likewise, chocolate wouldn't exist wit out the flies that pollinate the flowers of the cacao tree. In the coming week, Libra, I encourage you to imagine you're analogous to those bees and flies--a social pollinator who spreads good influences from group to group and connects people who should be allies. In addition, I'd like you to imagine you're cooking up metaphorical versions of chocolate mousse and apple pie. In other words, make it your goal to generate delicious effects that are both gourmet and down to earth. You might also want to be like another pollinator, bats. They ensure the fruitfulness of agave plants and hence are responsible for tequila.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Pioneer cartoonist Walt Disney had no doubts about what inspired his greatest ardor. "I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I've ever known," he said. My sculptor friend Rachel has a similar relationship with her art. "I don't have time for boyfriends," she told me. "Men just distract me from my work, which is the only thing that gives me unconditional joy." I suggest that in the coming weeks you make Walt and Rachel your role models, Scorpio. What form of creative selfexpression inspires as much of your passion as your drive for romantic intimacy? Feed it with the same fervor you summon when you're infatuated with a new lover.

S AG I T TA R I U S

(Nov. 22-Dec.21)

A few weeks ago I went to the Warped Tour, an outdoor music festival featuring 80 rock and punk bands on ten different stages. Pummeled nonstop in mosh pits full of flailing dancers in the 100-degree heat, basking in the blasts of guitars, drums, and vocals roaring at jet-engine volumes, showered

j u l y

2 8

-

a u g u s t

3

by saliva and sweat from the frenzied musicians, I had a religious experience. On the one hand, unbridled chaos seemed to be raging all around me. On the other hand, I felt perfectly safe and thoroughly entertained. I was also serenely amused by the knowledge that everyone was there primarily to play and have fun. That's what I wish for you in the coming days, Sagittarius: a knack for putting yourself in the enjoyable eye of the human hurricane.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

There are at least 20 different kinds of kisses, and the ancient Indian book Kama Sutra describes ten of them. Loving gazes and caresses come in an almost infinite variety, and the 2600year-old book identifies a few of each. As for sexual positions, the Kama Sutra provides insight into how to perform 84. In the coming weeks, I suggest you explore the Kama Sutra or a text like it, Capricorn, because your astrological assignment is to be ingenious and experimental as you push past the frontiers of your sexual wisdom. My brother Tom is a real estate agent. Lately he's been noticing that a lot of people are suffering from what he calls IDD--Intention Deficit Disorder. They act as if they really want to buy or sell a house, but then never get past the first few fledgling steps toward that end. Their good intentions get derailed by modest challenges. I want to make sure that you Aquarians don't develop a case of IDD in the coming weeks. The astrological omens suggest that you could fall prey to wandering around aimlessly unless you add a large dose of steel to your will.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

In the 19th century, ketchup was sold as a medicine. Physicians prescribed "Dr. Miles Compound Extract of Tomato" and similar potions to cure a variety of maladies, including liver disease, baldness, athlete's foot, and depression. In this wacky tradition, I'm recommending that you eat lots of ketchup to cure what ails you. There's actually nothing wrong with you at all, of course. But you have been feeding a tiny delusion with so much worried attention that it has bloomed into a big bad hallucination. One of the best medicines might be ketchup, whose healing power is as imaginary as your fake problem, and which is therefore a likely cure for it. Homework: Compose a love spell to get the exact kind of intimate connection you want--but without messing with anyone's free will.Tell me about it at www.freewillastrology.com.

ENJOY HISTORY?

Champaign County Historical Museum Located In Historical Cattle Bank

102 East University Ave

356.1010 Email: cchm@ champaignmuseum.org

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INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

DEADLINE:

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

RATES: Billed rate: 35¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 28¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free. Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

JU L . 28

HER LIPS WERE SAYING NO, BUT HER EYES WERE SAYING READ MY LIPS.

Employment 000 HELP WANTED

Part Time

Full Time Administrative Assistant/ Paralegal for a litigation firm. The law office of Robert G. Kirchner is now seeking an Administrative Assistant/ Paralegal with demonstrated communication, organizational, an analytical skills to assist in the preparation of civil and criminal matters for Trial; extensive client contact; and an ability to prepare documents utilizing computer- based resources, including competency with WordPerfect software. A bachelor’s degree or legal experience is required. For consideration, please send your resume and cover letter indicating contact information, availability and compensation requirements to 100 Trade Centre Drive, Suite 402. Champaign, Illinois 61820.

Full time Nanny for 3 boys. Ages 7,10,12. M-F, would have own bedroom, garage space, full meals included. August 1st thru August 2006. 708-533-7602 Looking for experienced manager to manage restaurant / bar in Champaign. Call 847-401-3388

RESERVATIONIST

Campus Bus Co. needs full time 9am-5pm M-F, Selling tickets from campus office. 352-6682

HELP WANTED

Ag/ AnSci/ Vet Get great experience with pets and animal nutrition as a part-time sales clerk for Prairieland Feeds. Knowledge of pets/ horses helpful. Some heavy lifting required. Flexible hours. Shawn 352-2232.

Graphic Designers Earn money and gain experience with a flexible schedule at the Illini Media Production Dept. A qualified candidate will be a U of I student, have a strong sense of design and the ability to work in a fast- paced but fun environment. Experience in Photoshop, Illustrator & InDesign a plus. We produce ads for the Daily Illini and Buzz as well as marketing materials for the various branches of Illini Media. For more information contact jonhuff@illinimedia.com

HEEL TO TOE Looking for energetic, enthusiastic, outgoing, helpful, kind, considerate, hardworking people who have a burning desire to sell comfort footwear. Or people who can work days. Hours avail. Mon-Sat 9 am - 6 pm. NO EVENING HOURS. Please apply in person.

JOE’S BREWERY

Now accepting applications for line cook positions. Please apply in person, 706 S. Fifth, Champaign. Ask for Mark.

035

HELP WANTED Summer Jobs

$8.25/HR. STARTING Office and Warehouse Associate. Flexible hours, Meyer Drapery 330 N. Neil. Downtown Champaign. Apply in person or send resume. 3525318.

Temporary Workers Needed Cleaning, painting, general labor. Good pay and overtime possible. Apply at Roland Realty. 901 S. First, Champaign. 328-1226.

020

HELP WANTED

010

030

Full/Part Time

Earn $5000 as an egg donor. Must be 20-29 and a non-smoker. Please call Alternative Reproductive Resources at 773-327-7315 or 847446-1001 to learn how you can help a family fulfill its dreams. Harvest help on organic vegetable farm. Now-Nov. 1. Full/ Part time positions. 643-2031.

Home health care provider. $10/ hour. 24 hours $150. Will clean, cook, run errands and help with personal care. State Certified. Please call 493-7830

100

JILLIAN’S

Help wanted, full/ part-time EXPERIENCED servers and bartenders, kitchen staff needed, and hosts/ hostesses. Apply in Person. 1201 S. Neil St, Champaign Jillian’s is an equal opportunity employer. We hire without regard to sex, race, age, religion, national origin, or disability. All applicants will be considered for all positions regardless of sex, race, age, religion, national origin, or disability.

MARKETING, SALES & SPECIAL PROJECTS

Do something you’ll love at the LARRY KANFER GALLERY ---Featuring PrairiescapesŽ and other nationally acclaimed images by Larry Kanfer. Specializing in art consulting, framing and superior customer service. Send resume & references to gallery@kanfer.com

Wanted/Offered ESL English tutoring available an experienced American. I with either adults or children. tact Paul at 217-637-5923 or lishtutor4u@yahoo.com

from work Coneng-

Merchandise 200

Apartments Furnished/Unfurnished

020

PAINTERS

Part Time Part- time babysitter, flexible hours. Free lodging, terms negotiable. 3591485.

Students needed to paint campus apartments in August. $9/hr. Apply at Roland Realty, 212 East Green, C. 8-5 M-F.

Zorba’s now hiring for fall semester. must be able to start in early August. Flexible schedule. Lunches, evenings and weekends. Free food during shift. Apply at Zorba’s 627 E. Green St. 344-0710.

1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $545 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking. Fall 04, 367-6626

Need to sell something? Place a classified ad! Just call 337.8337 • 2 Bedrooms 308 E. Armory 312 E. White Property Management 104 E. John 103 E. Stoughton 105 S. Fourth • Efficiencies 210/208 E. White 1103 S. Euclid • 3 Bedrooms • 1 Bedrooms 807 S. Locust 508 S. First 210/208 E. White 108 W. Charles 312 E. White 312 E. White 104 E. John 105 S. Fourth 104 E. John • 4 Bedrooms 103 E. Stoughton 807 S. Locust 210/208 E. White

Johnson Rentals

Fall 2005 Apartments

Call for an appointment

351-1767

www.johnsonrentals.com rentals@johnsonrentals.com

2 BEDROOMS 2 BATHROOMS! Holy Bleep! Beautifully furnished or unfurnished apartments located on 2 bus lines. 903 N. Lincoln Ave, Urbana. Washer and Dryer in apartment. Dishwasher, fireplace, balcony. FROM $790/MONTH & FREE CABLE. For showing contact: John Smith Property Management 217-384-6930 www.johnsmithproperties.com

3 BEDROOM TOWNHOUSE HESSEL PARK, August 1 615 W. Kirby CA, DW, CARPORT, ELEGANT. 1600 SQ. FT. $1450 398-1998 www.lincolnshireprop.com

CENTRAL PARK LOFTS

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1 BR. Apartments. 108 E. Stoughton, C. Parking Included Fall ‘05. $435/ month. 384-0333. 408 E. Elm. Very nice 1 or 2 bedrooms. Near Lincoln Square, Ample Parking. Near Bus. Water, trash, year lease. No Pets. $450/mo. 3569288.

A U G . 3 , 2 OO5

THIS WEEK +RANNERT 5NCORKED PM FREE "ROADWAY PM

706 S. WALNUT, U

712 West Illinois- Totally Remodeled. Hardwood floors, fireplace, dining room, loft. Washer/ Dryer, most utilities, 1 or 2 Bath. 2 BR- $550, 3 BR- $900- $1050. 637-2111

808 S. LINCOLN, U

Renting Aug 2005. Classic older building with Furnished 2 bedrooms across from Jimmy John’s on Lincoln Ave. Near Krannert, Law School, Music, etc. Features hardwood floors in upper units, laundry on site, High Speed Internet connection avail. Parking $45/mo. Shown 7 days a week. 2 BR from $450(F) BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Available for Fall

- BEAUTIFUL PARK VIEWS - COMPLETELY REMODELED LOCATED AT 305 W. PARK, 403 W. PARK & 405 W. PARK IN URBANA, IL

Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550 per month. 367-6626.

CLOSE TO ENGINEERING CAMPUS CLOSE TO CARLE HOSPITAL

4H *UL

Renting August 2005. 1 bedroom apts from $475/mo. Gas Heat, Central A/C, laundry Facilities. Parking included. To furnish $50/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

407 E. University. Luxury one bedrooms, fully equipped- microwave, washer/dryer in-unit. Security building with elevator. Balconies, underground parking. Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012

1 BEDROOMS FROM $450.00 2 BEDROOMS FROM $470.00

5

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"ALLET &LAMENCO *OSĂ? 0ORCEL

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7ALL TO 7ALL 7OW

h*OSĂ? 0ORCEL HAS A STAMP THAT DIFFERENTIATES HIM FROM THE TYPICAL DANCER WITH HIS LEAN PROlLE AND A STRONG DRAMATIC ACCENT THAT HELPS HIM COMMAND RESPECT ON THE STAGE 4HIS IS A mAMENCO THAT MAINTAINS THE ROOTS OF ITS ORIGINS BUT WHICH SEARCHES NEW EXPRESSIVE VARIANTS v %L 0AIS .ATIONAL .EWSPAPER 3PAIN ! lERY mAMENCO STAR *OSĂ? 0ORCEL PRESENTS THE FOLKLORIC THEATRE OF 3PAIN WITH ITS EXPLOSION OF DANCE LIVE MUSIC AND PASSION REmECTING !NDALUCIAN CULTURE AND GYPSY SPIRIT "ALLET &LAMENCO *OSĂ? 0ORCEL /CTOBER &OELLINGER 'REAT (ALL

Available now. Efficiencies 1, 2, 3 bedrooms. $390- $750/mo. 7664746.

DAYS ARTISTS 5NDER ROOF %XPERIENCE THE 7ALL TO 7ALL 'UITAR &ESTIVAL AT +RANNERT #ENTER 4AJ -AHAL 0AT -ETHENY 4RIO WITH #HRISTIAN -C"RIDE AND !NTONIO 3ANCHEZ $AN :ANES $ANIEL ,ANOIS 3ERGIO AND /DAIR !SSAD "ILL &RISELL 2ORY "LOCK !NDY 3UMMERS 6ERNON 2EID -AMADOU $IABATE *ESSE (ARRIS 3IMON 3HAHEEN

!BDOULAYE $IABATE "ANNING %YRE 6INICIUS #ANTUÉRIA 1UARTET $AVID 4RONZO #INDY #ASHDOLLAR (OPKINSON 3MITH %LIOT &ISK *UAN -ARTÓN +AKI +ING 2EDD 6OLKAERT *OHN (ASBROUCK %RIC ,UGOSCH AND MORE

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IMMEDIATELY AVAILABLE

CALL KEN AT 898-5894 BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480. 1 Br. $370 2 BR. $470 3 BR. $750 4 BR $755 Campus. 367-6626.

Sunnycrest Apts

3EPTEMBER /CTOBER

Spacious 1 BR, a/c, laundry, free parking, on bus-line near shopping Starting at $385

.ATIONAL #ORPORATE 3PONSORS !PPLE #OMPUTER 'UITAR /NE

AVAILABLE NOW

344-1306 or 352-4104 BZ Management

#OMMUNITY ,EAD &ESTIVAL 3PONSORS /NE -AIN $EVELOPMENT 2OUNDTABLE (IGHDIVE s #OWBOY -ONKEY s .IETO %NTERPRISES

Quality apartments and houses for rent • Many pet-friendly locations • Furnished AND Unfurnished units • 9 month leases negotiable at some locations

!DDITIONAL &ESTIVAL 3UPPORT ÂŞ .ORTH ÂŞ 7EST 4HE 'REAT )MPASTA (ENDRICK (OUSE (ISTORIC ,INCOLN (OTEL AND #ONFERENCE #ENTER 4HE (UB .ATIONAL %NDOWMENT FOR THE !RTS +ENT AND 0AM 0ETTYJOHN OF 0ETTYJOHN "UILDERS 7"#0 !- 7%&4 &- 7)#$ 46 .EWS#HANNEL 70'5 &-

• On-campus or off-campus • Excellent Tenant Union record • Weekend/evening showings by appointment

CALL US AT (217) 384-6930 VIEW OUR LISTINGS @ www.johnsmithproperties.com

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

buzz weekly •

ENJOY. COME ON. I'M NOT ASKING, I'M TELLING WITH THIS. KICK MY ASS.

Renting Aug 2005. 2 Bedroom Townhouses Furnished $600/mo. Unfurnished $580/mo. 2 bedroom apts Furnished $525/mo. Parking optional, Central A/C, Carpet, laundry facilities, Gas Heat, Ethernet connection avail. Showing 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1st & Green location. New 2 Bedroom w/Loft skylights. Washer/Dryer, Deck, Free parking. $700/mon. Aug. to Aug. 202-7070

400

APARTMENTS

•

609 W. MAIN, U.

MUSIC INSTRUMENTS 245 Alto Saxophone for Sale. Like New. Model YAS475 (Yamaha) $650 OBO, includes extra accessories. Call Allison 217-253-3654, 217-6497521

JU L . 28

Furnished/Unfurnished

• Apartments • Houses • Duplexes • 1 BR/2 BR/ 3BR ON AND OFF CAMPUS SEE FEATURED LANDLORDS IN DI APT. SEARCH PPM, Inc. Call 351-1800 www.ppmrent.com

150

TUTORING

A U G . 3 , 2 OO5

APARTMENTS

Furnished/Unfurnished

EMPLOYMENT WANTED040

Services

410

APARTMENTS

•

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#OLLEGE OF &INE AND !PPLIED !RTS 5NIVERSITY OF )LLINOIS AT 5RBANA #HAMPAIGN 3OUTH 'OODWIN !VENUE 5RBANA

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S


4 •

buzz weekly

coulter

PEOPLE WEEP INSTANTLY WHEN THEY HEAR IT, AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.

first things first

Someone turn down the damn heat

JU L . 28

A U G . 3 , 2 OO5

I try not to think too much

about the afterlife. Let’s face it, if all those creepy Christians, or even Dante, are right, a guy like myself is probably gonna be in a pretty bad place. I don’t really know much about hell, but I think it’s inhabited by a lot of tortured souls howling for relief. It is miserable beyond understanding. Everyone hates each other and everyone is sweating their asses off. It’s about 200 degrees and everything is burning. It’s like that day after day after day. Oh, and there’s also the devil running around poking everyone in the ass with his pitchfork. Well, welcome to hell, everyone. Sure, maybe the devil isn’t here poking us, but besides that, the weather lately seems like a promise of things to come. It’s hot, damned hot, and it sure as shit feels like hell. Not to seem like a candy-ass, but how much of this hot-assed weather are we supposed to take? I mean, sticking popsicles up your ass all day long is supposed to be fun, not a matter of self-preservation. As I write this on Sunday morning, it’s already about 100 degrees. Yep, still morning and it’s 100 degrees.The overnight low was 78

degrees.Whatever, to call 78 degrees “a low” is sort of abandoning the definition of the word. My friend, Eddie, sat in his yard and cooked rib eyes under his armpits yesterday afternoon, all while grilling potatoes on his stomach. The guy’s a one-man cooking station over there. I know they always say not to kill the messenger, but if I hear one more weatherperson on TV tell me it’s a scorcher out there, I swear I’m gonna freaking snap. I don’t even find the dog cute when it’s this hot, so your phony little weathercast isn’t gonna make me smile in the least. Why are you weatherpeople even here at this point? I mean, I suppose you’re handy if the weather is going to change, but until that glorious day, you’re just getting on my nerves. I don’t need someone with a map of Illinois superimposed behind them to tell me it’s hot. I know it’s freaking hot, moron. So, whatever, maybe we shouldn’t kill the messenger, but I tell you what, I bet I’d feel a whole lot better if I beat one of them about the head for a couple of minutes. While we’re on that subject, for shit’s sake, quit sending reporters out there during terrible weather.Yeah, they’re cute and original as they stand in front of a thermometer with sweat dripping down their faces telling us viewers it’s hot outside.We’re

not sadists out there in TV land. We don’t enjoy seeing others suffer through intense heat while we watch the news from our air-conditioned living rooms. It’s just enough already. Hey, I have an idea. I’m also pretty sick of listening to Donald Rumsfeld talk about Iraq every night on the news, so instead, let’s have him do the weather until it cools off. I mean, like him or not, he does put a happy spin on whatever he’s talking about, so it’d be an improvement. “Well, yes, the temperatures are reaching upwards of 100 degrees and people are dying, but remember, it’s a wet heat and it’s a long summer and we’re really right where we need to be, um, weatherwise.” Sure, I’m pissed, but what the hell do I know. I was a big advocate of this whole “global warming” thing during the winter. In fact, I was using up aerosol cans as fast as I could trying to punch a hole in the ozone so I might not have to scrape my car windows during an ice storm in January. Geez Louise, I didn’t know global warming also was a factor in the summertime. Is there any way I can have some of that hairspray back until at least the fall? Friends who moved away used to ask me why I still lived here in Illinois. One of my favorite stock answers was because I really enjoyed the

A U G . 3 , 2 OO5

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APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished

And turn Donald Rumsfeld into a local weatherman while you’re at it MICHAEL COULTER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

JU L . 28

410

APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished

change of the seasons. Well, let me tell you, it’s gonna be pretty hard to stick with that answer much longer.“Um, yes, I really enjoy the change of the seasons, especially that one time in May when the temperature rises above freezing for about three days, you know, right before it goes all the way up to 100 until October when it’s once again nice for about three days and then turns back to freezing.Yeah, that’s pretty sweet, all right.” Michael Coulter There’s that old saying that is a videographeveryone talks about the weath- er, comedian er but no one ever does any- and sort of a thing about it. Yeah, that’s not smart-ass. But especially funny to me at this we love him anymoment either, but seriously, way, and don’t what are we supposed to do? I’ll know why. be the first guy to say moving to Canada is looking like a better and better idea. I used to think that because of politics, now it’s simply because of climate. As I said earlier, I wrote this on Sunday morning and it was hotter than a bastard. If by some miracle of nature it cools off by the time this is published on Thursday, I apologize for all my ranting. Sometimes the heat makes people do crazy things.

217-352-8540 217-355-4608 (evenings) www.faronproperties.com EXECUTIVE LOFT 201 S. Wright St., Champaign. Adjacent to Engineering campus. Loft bedroom, security parking, balcony, A/C, laundry. Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012

Vintage Home in Dynamic Location 3 BR apts. avail. mid-August 601 W. Green, U-2 blocks from Lincoln $990/mo. includes utilities The Weiner Companies, Ltd. 384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

WESTGATE

410

APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished

NEAR DOWNTOWN & WESTSIDE PARK

NO BULL!

Free Best Buy and Campus Tan gift certificate with each signed lease! Remodeled apartments that redefine campus living. 3 and 4 bedroom apartments available at 810 S. Oak St. between John and Daniel in Champaign. 3 bedroom apartment at $999/mo. (only $333 per roommate!) 4 bedroom apartment at $999/mo. (less than $250 per roommate!) High-speed internet, water, and trash included! Laundry in building. NINE MONTH LEASES NEGOTIABLE

217-384-6930

www.johnsmithproperties.com

URBANA

Quiet 2 Bedroom Townhouse 1000 SF. $650- 685, Campus Bus. CA, DW, yard, laundry. 398-1998.

APARTMENTS

• Superior • Clean 1 & 2 Bedrooms management • Dependable, 24hr. NOW LEASING • Short-term Leases maintenance FOR FALL (limited availability) • 24 Hour Courtesy • Free Parking Gate House • On Busline

359-5330 359-5330

1418 LINCOLNSHIRE, SW CHAMPAIGN 2 BR, water furn. $495/mo LOCATION HAS: central air, laundry facilities, parking, near busline 352-3642, 356-0660

Sunnycrest Apartments 1717 E. Florida, U Large 1 and 2 BR apartments. Includes water and parking, on-site laundry, pool. Starting @ $450/mo. Campo Rental Agency 344-1927.

UNIQUE

Classic style 2 bedroom, quiet neighborhood, near Cafe Paradiso. Laundry, free parking. Sorry no pets, no smoking. 12 mo. lease, 2 available $365 & $585 plus utilities. 3442775

Hours: M-F 9-6 Sat 9-1 • www.westgateapts.net

Available Fall. 1 bedroom loft apartment. Fully equipped. Balcony, parking. 409 W. Green. Call Hardwick Apartments, 356-5272 or 621-1012.

APARTMENTS

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APARTMENTS Furnished

No Campus Hassle

COURTYARD ON RANDOLPH 713 S. Randolph,C. Now renting for Fall. Spacious, 2 & 3 bedrooms from $618. Near campus, downtown Champaign. Includes cable, parking, water. Has laundry facilities and seasonal pool.

buzz weekly •

HOW CAN MEN POSSIBLY USE SEX TO GET WHAT THEY WANT? SEX IS WHAT WE WANT.

420

Furnished

Furnished

104 E. Armory, C.

209 & 211 E. Clark, C. August 2005 rentals. 2 and 4 BR apartments available. Furnished. Call Green Street Realty 356-8750.

105 E. GREEN, C

Available for Fall 2005

Studio apts avail Aug 2005. Carpet, electric heat, wall a/c units, off street parking avail, laundry Ethernet connection avail. Rents from $295/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1107 S. EUCLID, C

Aug 2005 rental. Near Armory, IMPE and Snack Bar. 1 bedroom apts. Window A/C, Gas Heat, laundry. Parking $35/mo. Rents start at $395/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1005 S. SECOND, C

Efficiencies. Available now and Fall 2005. Secured building. Private parking. Laundry on site, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

1006 S. 3RD, C.

Aug 2005. 1 bedroom. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

3 & 4 BR

-Prime location -Built-in washer/dryer -Jet spas -14’ Cathedral ceilings 59 John E., Champaign- Everything is new in this bright new building. 4 bedrooms with spa tubs and cathedral ceilings. W/D in each unit. Lofted bedroom with private bath. $995. LAST ONE! Call Allison Today! www.ramshaw.com (217)359-6400

111 E. Healey, Champaign Available now and Fall 2005. Extra large 1 bd and efficiencies. Prices ranging from $375-485. Off-street parking, security building, & 5 floor plans to choose from. Make your appointment today!

304 & 306 E. Clark, C Castle Apartments

3 blocks to Engineering Quad. 3 BR $690, 4 BR $890. C/A, ceiling fan, dishwasher, washer/dryer in unit. 384-1099, castle_apartments@ameritech.net

307 & 310 E. White 307 & 309 Clark

Apartments 111 S. Lincoln, U. 2 Br @ $765/mo *670 sp. ft *Balcony *Parking avail *Microwave *Dishwasher

Fall 2005. Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Secured building. $320/month. Available June 1 and August ‘05. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 or (217)841-3028

509 E. White, C.

Aug. 2005. Large 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

For Info: (217) 344-3008 911 W. Springfield, U. BaileyApartments.com

APARTMENTS

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Furnished

311 E. WHITE, C

Avail Aug 2005. Large furnished efficiencies close to Beckman Center. Rent starts at $325/mo. Parking avail at $30/mo. Window A/C, carpet, High Speed Internet connection avail. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

9.5 MONTH LEASE POSSIBLE Furnished efficiency at

503 E. Clark, C., avail. 8/18/05. $340-$370 month Weiner Co. 384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

503- 505- 508 E. White

301 E. White, C. 2 BR apartment avaiable mid- August, includes water and parking. $625/mo. Campo Rental Agency 344-1927.

Bailey

420

APARTMENTS Furnished

3 & 4 bedroom apartment, 2 baths. All new furniture. Great Location. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

JTS Properties 328-4284

1 bedroom Basement Apt. on campus. $400/mo. Utilities Paid. 51 E. Chalmers, Ch., Craig 337-0988.

420

APARTMENTS

17

Now & Fall 2005 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kenny, 493-0429. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

508, 510 & 512 E. Stoughton, C.

509 W. MAIN, U.

Quiet Urbana location very close to campus avail for Aug 2005. 1 BR apts. Rents start at $405/mo. Carpet, laundry facilities, window A/C, storage, parking avail at $25/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

602 E. Stoughton

Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet, and parking available. Must see!! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 604 E. White, C. Security Entrance For Fall 2005, Large 1 bedroom furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com

610 W. Washington St., U. Very large 3 BR. hardwood floors, fireplace. 2 blocks from campus. Quiet residential neighborhood. Water and garbage included. Off-street lighted parking. 12 month lease. Available Aug. 1. No pets. Applications taken. $895/mo. 367-8603, 8405225.

Huge 2 bedroom apts. Fantastic location, close to Engineering Computer Science. Gas heat, A/C, carpet, laundry, off street parking @$25/ mo. Bargain Rent from $425/ mo. Best Deal on Campus. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

611 W. Church St., C. Beautiful 2 BR. in security locked building. Laundry facilities. Heat, hot water, sanitary garbage included. Parking spot in lighted off-street parking. Extra storage, dishwasher, central air. Sound & fire proof. No pets. applications taken. Available Aug. 1. $595/mo. 367-8603, 8405225

509 E. Clark 1 block from Beckman. Large Efficiencies. Security doors. Parking. Internet ready. Furnished. NEW RENOVATIONS! 377-5971. www.509eclark.com

Furnished Apartment in quiet offcampus house. New paint and carpet. Free parking.

509 Stoughton

Near Grainger, Spacious 2 bedrooms, ethernet, parking. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

618 W. Green, C.

Large 1 BR $500/mo Heat, water and gas paid. 356-2018

705 W. High St., U

Very quiet large studio in old house. NO PETS. $400+ some utilities. 359-5115

ADVANTAGE PROPERTIES C-U Formerly Wakeland Rentals

DON’T MISS OUT ON THESE DELUXE APARTMENTS! Leasing for Fall 2005 SPRING SPECIALS!

No Security Deposit $50 Off Application Fee $50 Look & Lease Drawing on 6/30/05 for: • MP3 Player • Digital Camcorder • Mobile Entertainment System • and other cool prizes!

301 E. Clark, C.

2

402 N. Gregory, U.

404 E. Clark, C.

3

406 Elm/201 Grove, U. 1

503 E. Stoughton, C.

3

502, 504 W. Elm, U.

Studio

510 E. White, C.

2

506 W. Elm, U.

3

608 E. White, C.

3

1009 W. Stoughton, U. 2,4

2302 W. John

1102 E. Colorado, U.

(brand new),C. 108 N. Busey, U.

2 2 (House)

2

2,3,4

1301 Harding/1302 Brighton (new), U.

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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401 W. Springfield, U.

4

(new), U. 2008 S. Vawter, U.

1 left 1 left 1 left 1 left 1 left

1007 W. Main 1008 W. Main *813 W. Main 209 W. Griggs 1004 W. Main

$890 $870 $700 $900 $810

*One parking spot included

1

306-510 E. Michigan, U. 1,2,3 1806 Cottage Grove 105 S. Wright, C.

Two Bedroom Apartments

2 3,4

303 E. Green, Champaign www.cpm-apts.com cpm@cpm-apts.com Office Hours: Mon-Thurs: 9-6, Fri: 9-5, Sat: 11-3

We encourage you to check with the U of I Tenant Union before signing a lease!

217-344-0394 www.advproperties.com

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S


APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

BECKMAN APTS.

6 0 1 -6 0 3 E . C la rk, C . F u rn ish e d 1 B R w /b a lco n y, la u n d ry, so m e fre e u til. 2 m in . fro m th e U n io n . S ta rtin g a t $ 3 8 5 . 344-1306 or 352-4104

CAMPUS 2 BEDROOM

Spacious furnished apartments. 702-704 W Elm *Excellent Campus Location near Lincoln & Green *Ethernet *Laundry *Parking *Balcony *Kitchen/Bar Combination From $660 Roland Realty 351-8900

JU L . 28

IF ALL GOES WELL, IN TWO WEEKS I SHALL STORM THE CITADEL OF HER WOMANHOOD.

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

JOHN STREET APARTMENTS

58 E. John August 2005. Two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwashers, center courtyard, on-site laundry, central air, ethernet available. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 Showings Monday-Friday 10-5 Saturday 11-4

OLD TOWN CHAMPAIGN

510 S. Elm Available Fall 2005. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, dishwasher, W/D, central air/heat, off street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. $555/mo. 841-1996. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

420

APARTMENTS Furnished

420

APARTMENTS Furnished

Champaign 2 Bedrooms

GREAT VALUE

306- 308- 309 White August 2005. 1 & 3 Bedroom furnished apts. Balconies, patios, laundry, dishwashers, off-street parking, ethernet available. 352-3182 or 8411996 anytime, 309 S. First. The University Group www.ugroup96.com

403 E. White - $540/mo. 302 S. Fourth - $540/mo. 405 E. White - $400/mo.

420

Furnished

Great Campus Location 1 bedroom apartment $360/mo. Laundry facility, free parking, shared utilities, available August 1. Call 637-0975.

MJM/Chateau Apartments

APARTMENTS

LANDO PLACE 707 South 6th, C. Large 1 BR. Includes water and trash removal. On-site Laundry. Secured Building. Local phone service and ethernet. Parking Available. From $580/mo. CAMPO RENTAL AGENCY 344-1927

Ask Tenant Union about us 390-2377

Engineering Efficiencies Very Large, Studios/ Efficiencies www.ugroup96.com

352-3182

Furnished one bedrooms and efficiencies from $325, $365, and $395 near John and Second or Healey and Third. 356-1407.

New Building “Lofts on John” One bedroom, unfurnished, W/D, dishwasher, opening August 05 $650/mo. Near John and 2nd. Call 356-1407

Parkview Apartments 121 W. Park, Urbana Efficiency apartments for fall. Includes water, trash removal, on-site laundry. $395/mo. Campo Rental Agency 344-1927.

URBANA

Several one bedrooms: $385, $365 & $350 plus utilities. Sorry no pets. Free parking, A/C. 344-2775

430

Unfurnished 1 bedroom in older home. $625/ mo. Utilities included. 314 S. State St, Champaign. 369-7205

PARK-LIKE SETTING Unf. 2 BR avail. now and/or Aug., A/C, laundry, 101 W. Park, Urbana. $460-$500/month. Weiner Co. 384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com 115 W. WASHINGTON, U

Avail Aug 2005. 1 bedroom apts. Carpet, window a/c, laundry, boiler heat. Rents from $510/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com 2 BEDROOM C/A, Laundry, Quiet, 2 blocks Lin Sq. Bus 10 min. to U of I. $425. 3845460

512 E. Clark, C. Eff. $345-$365 Large furnished efficiency at corner of Clark and Sixth. Parking is $40/month. Includes water & sewer.

hdwd floors, A/C, pkg, w/d hookups $525/month

The Weiner Companies, Ltd.

When you SIGN A LEASE

UNIVERSITY FIELDS 355-1579

606 S. PRAIRIE, C

Huge 1 bedroom apts in quiet Champaign neighborhood near campus and bus line. Perfect for Grad Students. Gas heat, window a/c, free off street parking. Priced $50/mo below competition. From $380/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

205 EAST HEALEY, C

800 W. CHURCH, C.

Renting Aug 2005. Very large 1 bedroom apts. Carpet, Window A/C, High Speed Internet connection avail. Parking avail at $30/mo. Shown Daily 7 days a week. Rents start at $435/mo. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com 407 W Columbia, C 1 bedroom, $460, Available August. New kitchen, new bath, free parking. www.cuforrent.com 217-353-5027

511 W. Nevada, U

Available JULY & AUGUST. 2 BRs. Centrally located near shopping/ transportation. Onsite laundry, offstreet parking. $450/mo. 217-352-8540, 217-355-4608 pm www.faronproperties.com Architects 2 Bdrm with loft, C.A. W.D. Sadorus, 12 mi. south. $600/mo. 398-1998 Clean, quiet, 1 BR. in upscale old town Champaign. Wood floors, Includes parking, water, and garbage. Credit check, references. $400/ mo. 355-8512.

DAWSON PROPERTY MANAGEMENT 359-1221

Quiet. Huge 3 bedroom 1 bath in 1920’s brick building. Sunroom, dining room, screened porch. Hardwood floors. Arched doorways. NO PETS. $995 + utilities. 359-5115.

Classic Apartment 2 BR. avail. now near downtown Champaign laundry, carport, W/A hwd floors $575/mo. The Weiner Companies, Ltd. 384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

Available August: Off campus 1 BR+ near West Side Park in downtown Champaign, prices ranging $390625. Older home character, great light and space. Good study atmosphere.

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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BUZZ STAFF v o l u m e

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FALL 2005 Smith Apartments 384-1925

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Cover Design • Brittany Bindrim Editor in chief • Paul Wagner Art Director • Claire Napier Copy Chief • Erin Green Music • Kyle Gorman Arts • Constance Beitzel Film • Andrew Vecelas Community • Erin Scottberg Calendar • Erin Scottberg Photography Editor • David Solana Designers • Brittany Bindrim, Nikita Sorokin, Obumneme Asota Calendar Coordinators • Cassie Conner, Todd Swiss Photography • Austin Happel Copy Editors • Erin Green Staff Writers • Todd Swiss, Paul Prikazsky, Syd Slobodnik, Beth Dillman, Todd J. Hunter Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein Production Manager • Meredith Niepert Sales Manager • Anna Rost Marketing/Distribution • Louis Reeves III Publisher • Mary Cory

2 2 2 3 4 |6-7| 6 |8-9| 8 9 9 9 9 | 10 - 11 | | 12 | 12 | 13 - 14 | 13 13 13

TALK TO BUZZ e-mail: buzz@readbuzz.com write: 57 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820

14 14

call: 217.337.3801 We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini

Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

| 15 | 15 15 | 16 - 20 |

INTRO

The Local Sniff • Seth Fein This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening Editor’s Note • Paul Wagner First Things First • Michael Coulter

AROUND TOWN Demolition derby • Todd Swiss

LISTEN, HEAR

Fall 2005

Location

Bedrooms

102 E. Gregory, C 202 E. John, C 610 E. Stoughton, C 910 & 910.5 S. Locust, C 807 W. Oregon, U 908 S. Lincoln, U

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MAIN EVENT ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT THE SILVER SCREEN The Island review • Paul Prikazsky Top Ten Charts Movie Time Listings Bad News Bears review • Syd Slobodnik Slowpoke • Jen Sorenson

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EDITOR’S NOTE L

1009 W. Clark, U 2 bedroom $600-620

3

Worden Martin Is Champaign’s #1 Subaru Dealer

Intonation • Fred Koschmann & Kyle Gorman (Th)ink • Keef Knight Sound Ground #86 • Todd J. Hunter Kaiser Chiefs review • Claire Napier Hurly-Burly • Cornelia Boonman

First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50

PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

604 W. Stoughton, U 2 bedroom, 2 bath, W/D, Deluxe Furnished, King size bed, Roll-in shower $910

buzz weekly •

IT'S PART OF A TRILOGY, A MUSICAL TRILOGY I'M WORKING ON IN D MINOR WHICH IS THE SADDEST OF ALL KEYS, I FIND,

© Illini Media Company 2005 Peaceful and quiet off-campus 1 and 2 BR apartments starting at $475. www.gardencourts.com 359-4652.

117 Sterling Court, Savoy

www.collegeparkweb.com

JU L . 28

|1-5|

701 W. Indiana. 2 BR. 1000+ sq. ft Living room, hardwood floors, full basement. Duplex. Avail. Aug. 1. Great location. 384-0333.

$250 Visa Card $20 Off Your Monthly Rent

430

Unfurnished

2 Bedroom Large Townhouses. Most Utilities Paid at 707 W. California. $595. Phone 493-6483, 3845668.

view photos and interiors at www.hpmapts.com

or

A U G . 3 , 2 OO5

APARTMENTS

2 BR DUPLEX IN URBANA APARTMENTS

Heritage Property Management, Inc. 1206 S. Randolph, Suite B Ch. (217) 351.1803

56/58 E. Healey, C 1BR $390-$425 Furnished apts with patios or balconies.Heat paid. Parkingis $35/ month. On-site laundry.

430

Unfurnished

All Units: Carpet, A/C, Appliances Cable & Internet Ready Parking Available On-Site Laundry

APARTMENTS

THE

18 • b u z z w e e k l y

ast week Coulter talked about the perks of certain jobs. But he failed to address the biggest perk, in my opinion: Working with cool people who you get along with. Jobs can be made or destroyed based solely upon your coworkers. My job at camp this year is a perfect example. The other counselors at my camp site and I get along extremely well. Dare I say, we get along better as a staff than all other staffs that I’ve worked with for any job. And I don’t even know why.We’re all very different people, coming from different backgrounds, going to different schools, majoring in different things, picking different campers as our favorites, but we always have a great time when we’re together, both at work and away from work. Hell, we scheduled a Thursday Night Camp Staff Drinking Club for the six of us so we assured ourselves time outside of camp to get sloshed. We entered a dodgeball tournament together. We make great jokes together at camp. Neal and I think so similarly that we started something we like to call Man Trust. We constantly laugh, and, together, we make camp incredibly fun. Unfortunately, one of the staffers was unexpectedly forced to resign from her position, and her loss has put the rest of us into a state of confusion and sadness.The great atmosphere and ban-

ter that we shared was hurt, and, although the rest of us still get along really well, it just isn’t the same. The girl that resigned was my best friend at camp, my camp buddy, if you will, and the job just isn’t the same without her. So to Neal, Brooke,Victor and Emmie, I’m sorry for being a bit off this week.To Sarah, I miss you at camp. But enough of that sad crap. Meeting new people at work can be fun, too. I recently befriended some lifeguards and other camp staff from different camp sites. Hell, I even hang out with one of them, and it makes going to work all the better. So please, when looking for a job or hiring for a job, look for people who’ll mesh with the rest of the staff; it’ll make everyone’s lives better. I’m a big fan of high-fives and handshakes. If you know me, we probably have some kind of unique handshake, or I high-five you all the time. They’re nonsensical and fun. But Tuesday at the pool, when I offered up a high-five to Becky, my lifeguard buddy (who better be reading this and emailing me after), she reluctantly accepted, asking me if she was one of my little-kid campers. But high-fives are universally awesome! As are handshakes.You can supposedly learn about people through high-fives and handshakes, but I think that’s a bunch of crap. Handshakes are made to be silly and unique, not to impress and make first impressions, but that’s just me. And although it may be childish, nothing beats a chest bump after a solid high-five. Nothing. - Paul

344-0700 • www.GabesPlace.com s o u n d s

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2 •

buzz weekly

seth fein

CERTAINLY, IN THE TOPSY-TURVY WORLD OF HEAVY ROCK, HAVING A GOOD SOLID PIECE OF WOOD IN YOUR HAND IS OFTEN USEFUL.

the local sniff

JU L . 28

A U G . 3 , 2 OO5

Are you gonna go to see Blackalicious or what?

A U G . 3 , 2 OO5 430

APARTMENTS

Urbana will always be home to this Messianic Jew SETH FEIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

FIRST SNIFF Speaking to an audience of around 100 people, Seth Fein addresses the topic of hip-hop on a hot, sweaty hypothetical night inside some random classroom inside some random building on the UIUC campus. Out of curiosity, how many people out there like Hiphop? May I see a show of hands? OK. OK. Almost 75 percent of you.That’s quite a lot. Because, from what I have been able to understand, hip-hop dominates pop culture in many, many ways. It’s certainly the most popular genre of pop music. Most everyone likes music that carries a good beat. Hell, even McDonald’s is using it to pitch their new “healthy lifestyle” choices on their fat-tastic menu. So, I am guessing that, based on this crowd, most of you own albums or listen to it on the radio, yes? I see. I see. So now I have another question for you: Why on earth does no one in this room ever want to attend a hip-hop show in this town? The crowd looks around at each other, shrugging shoulders and furrowing their brows, thinking to themselves,“Yeah. I guess I never go to hip-hop shows, do I?” HATE TO SAY THIS BUT ... Almost no one goes to see hip-hop shows in this town. I have declared it before and I will maintain it to the day: I am not a hip-hop head. I like it, but by no means would I seek it out. But I know for a fact that many, many people out there love it and even identify it as their lifestyle. That’s what they say.They say,“Hip-hop has no color. It’s for everyone. It is a lifestyle.” I agree. It truly has no color. And that is tremendous. But in regards to it being a lifestyle, I call bullshit. If it’s such a lifestyle, than how is it that there is no scene for it? How come every time I go to a hip-hop show there are so few people there? Rock music, which is nowhere near as popular as hip-hop, consistently has people coming out to shows. I hear your argument already, heads.You think that no one is willing to foster a scene for you. And I’ll grant you that. Most venues don’t cater to hip-hop. No venues in this town to be exact. But there are hip-hop shows. And they are always dead. At least, they are dead if you think in terms of the amount of people out there who proclaim to live a “hip-hop lifestyle.” If I am not mistaken, if one identifies their lifestyle by the kind of music that they listen to, than it seems fairly likely that they might take an interest in actually watching it live and experiencing it firsthand. Hey, I am not trying to bring you people down. I am trying to get you fired up! Hip-hop heads everywhere: Unite!

JU L . 28

Start going to the shows that are here and start making more! Throw house parties. Have battles. Sign up on Delayney’s list so you can find out firsthand what is going on in town! It is so important to our music scene and time after time, I show up to a hip-hop event and it’s as sparse as a rodeo in Harlem.Wake up heads! Time to put your money where your mouth is. SHOW OF THE YEAR THUS FAR? I only say this because of watching Beans with The Holy Fuck and Heiruspecs, both incredible hip-hop groups, perform to a crowd of only 100. It was perhaps the best show I have seen all year. It’s not that it frustrated me from a promoter’s standpoint. I just wish that more people would take a chance on something different. People can listen to a DJ any night of the week. It’s not that often for hip-hop groups (and I say groups meaning that they have bands—you know, live drums, basses, rhodes keyboards, guitars and yes, turntables.) Note to people of Champaign-Urbana: Hip-hop is not scary. In fact, it promotes peace more so than rock music. Come out and celebrate it on the rare occasions that it is here. MID-YEAR REPORT CARD Best albums of the year so far? I don’t know. But here are my top five favorites thus far, in no particular order: 5.Hopewell and The Birds of Appetite Seth Fein is from 4. Mercury Rev – The Secret Migration Urbana. He is 3. Common – Be already proud of 2. Shipwreck – Origin Laurel Prussing for 1. Sufjan Stevens – Illinois what is happening FINAL WHIFF on Philo Road. He Let it be known that I am no longer can be reached at going to be living in Urbana. I love sethfein@ Urbana. It is a nicer city than Champaign. hotmail.com. I am a UHS graduate and have lived in Urbana my entire life, save my first two years of college when I needed to do the campus living thing. Now, I move back to Champaign. I need to say I am sorry to Urbana. So there. I am sorry. In any event, my girlfriend and I are moving in to a beautiful home with a married couple who are now dear friends of ours. People have been giving me looks that seem to say, “Why would you want to live with another couple? Why would a married couple want to live with you?” Answer? Because we can. This is your world.You get to create the rules as long as they fall in line with what is safe for everybody. I like the idea of communal living, and what’s more, I believe that if more people depended on each other and trusted each other, we’d be living in a much safer and more compassionate world. God, I am such a Birkenstock at heart. Forgive me.

Silver Bullet Bar 1401 E. Washington, U. www.silverbulletbar.net 344-0937 BEST BAR IN CHAMPAIGN-URBANA BEST DJ’S AND MUSIC - BEST DRINK SPECIALS

Monday - $2 Domestic Beers Tuesday - $2 Rum & Coke Wednesday - $2.50 Screwdrivers Thursday - $2 Amaretto Stone Sours FREE POOL 8PM-9PM FEMALE DANCERS NIGHTLY

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Unfurnished

Downtown apartment/ studio space @ 511 N. Neil, C. 2nd floor, 2000 sqft. 4 huge bedrooms, lots of windows, off- street parking. $1400/mo. Available August 15. Contact John, James Burch Real Estate, 3692310.

Our most desirable location on U of I golf course. 1200 sq. ft, 2 bedroom, 2 bath, fireplace, study, dishwasher, W/D, A/C, carport plus parking, balcony/patio. 359-3687.

603 W. Green

384-8018

PRICES SLASHED FAIRLAWN VILLAGE FAIRLAWN & VINE SEMESTER LEASES

SUBLETS

440

Apartment sublet, 502 S. Mattis, Champaign, Aug. 05- July 06. Bi-level, 2 BR, 1.5 bath. Furnished or unfurnished. $600/mo. 217-621-0193 Female 21/ non-smoker, looking to sublease apartment. Please call 847-650-9728 Female roommate wanted. 5658 Daniel St. Furnished 2 bedroom. $450/mo per person. Close to campus. 217-253-3654, 217-649-7521 Newlyweds looking for Aug. & Sept. apartment to rent. 217-621-7151 or becca_cochrane@illinoisalumni.org Want to sublet 1 bedroom furnished apartment for 2-3 months starting August. 217-235-4844 or 217-4601145

Avail. Fall. $465- $475/mo. Includes most utilities, laundry, pkg, A/C. On busline.

Aug 2005. Live in a peaceful, relaxed, neighborhood setting. Fairlawn Village is a one-story apartment community, spread out on twelve acres, close to U of I, shopping and walking distance to schools. Spacious apartments with washer/dryer hook up, a/c, and garages available.Two bedrooms from $500 to $550/mo. Call for an appointment.

The Weiner Companies, Ltd 384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 344-5043 www.barr-re.com

NEED A 1 BR!

Quality Living Properties 328-4283 1-2 BEDROOM APARTMENTS NOW LEASING FOR AUG 2005

2+ BR off-campus 3rd BR/ Office. Quiet Area. Great yard. Off-street parking. W/D hookup. 604 N. Edwin, C. $750/mo. 649-9708

504 & 506 E. Green St., U

205 West John. Furnished 5 bedroom, two bath, hardwood floor, fireplace, Sunspace, porch, deck fenced yard. 352-9848 390-9577 $1,350/mo. Visit www.space-wise.com/john

www.weinercompanies.com

Large 1 BR

Convenient 1 bedrooms near downtown Champaign now available. From $360. 508 W. Hill, C. 605 W. University 515 W. Washington, C. 811 W. Hill, C. These and other apartment locations also available for leases starting throughout the summer.

352-8540, p.m. 355-4608 www.faronproperties.com

One Month Free Rent 2 BR Townhomes with W/D, private patio and more! The perfect place to call home! Beautiful setting close to Hessel Park and on the busline. Call 356-4012

Available now and Aug 05. Near shopping and bus lines. D/W, laundry on site and off-street parking. $415/mo.

710 S. Walnut, U

Near bus lines and off-street parking included. $400/mo.

603 S. Walnut, U

Large apts., off-street parking, and W/D in unit. $500/mo.

201 E. California, U

2-bdr, Hrdwd floor, W/D in unit. $485/mo.

Quiet 2nd flr. 2 BR. older home. $500. Screened porch. Above offices. August 15. Green near Cedar, U. tombruno@tombruno.com. 328-6000.

RENT IT!!! 337-8337

RENTS STARTING AT

Other Rentals 500 HOUSES

3 BEDROOM TOWNHOUSE HESSEL PARK, August 1 615 W. Kirby CA, DW, CARPORT, ELEGANT. 1600 SQ. FT. $1450 398-1998 www.lincolnshireprop.com 3 br, 1 ba, washer, dryer, AC, Nice back yard, 1 car garage. $750 per month. 712 E. Michigan, Urbana. 378-4741 3, 4 or 5 BR houses available. Fall 2005. Call Green Street Realty 3568750. 601 W. Nevada, U. Aug. ‘05. 3 BR. extra sunroom. Laundry, Parking. 217-299-1380.

$420

CAMPUS CONNECTION formerly Melrose Apartments 1601 N Lincoln Ave, Urbana

278-0278

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510

305 W. Eureka 2 BR, Dishwasher, On Busline, pet friendly, $560/mo w/ on-time payment. Available mid- August. 3980783. 316 S. State St., C 4/ 5 bedroom home, 2 baths, 2 full kitchens, laundry room. $1100/mo. 369-7205. 5 bedroom house. Hessel park area. W/D. 2 full baths, full basement, large backyard, pet friendly. 217390-1955.

610 S. State, Champaign

Beautiful 5 Bedroom House on Busline near campus. 2 full kitchens, laundry hardwood floors, large yard. Perfect Condition. $1,500/ mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

510

2 bedroom and 7 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2004. 367-6626.

BEST BANG FOR YOUR BUCK

OPEN Monday - Thursday 8pm-1am Friday-Saturday 8pm-2am Ladies & Couples Welcome Always Free Admission with our T-Shirt ATM $5.00 Admission/Ladies Free Accepted MUST BE 21

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

APARTMENTS

Unfurnished

Extra Large 2 BR hdwd, laundry, parking. Heat, water, trash incl. $850/month Weiner Companies, LTD

buzz weekly •

NILES, OWNING THE CD OF "ELLA SINGS GERSHWIN" DOES NOT QUALIFY YOU AS A SOUL BROTHER.

710 S. State, C. Charming bungalow, 3 bedroom, 2 baths, deck with fenced backyard, on busline, close to campus, a/c, w/d, d/w. $995. 649-8499.

HOUSES

510

Cute house for rent in quiet Urbana. 5 BR, 2 bathrooms, fully furnished, W/D, parking. ruiz2@uiuc.edu. Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2850 367-6626

FREE RENT!

806 W. Stoughton, Urbana- Are you and your friends still looking for a house for rent? This large house is a steal at reduced pricing. Four bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms and a garage. Recently updated with newer carpet and vinyl. Now offering 1/2 off security deposit and 1 month’s free rent. $1395/mo. Call Allison Today! www.ramshaw.com

344-2376 or 359-2072

Cozy Cottage - near Lincoln Square. Campus. Hardwood floors, 5 rooms, 2 BR. 359-3687

530

NEWLY REMODELED Rooms available - Free parking/ wireless internet! On bus route, 3 mins. from campus, quiet. Only $325/ month! Call for a showing before it’s gone! (708)699-7311 or BTPManagement@gmail.com

384-8018

Off Campus House with available room. $400/month with utilities included, free parking, on 5 Green Busline. 224-6309

Unfurn. 3 BR

Room in 4 Bedroom, 2 Bath Furnished Apartment. Washer/ Dryer in unit. 5th and White. $230. 352-7818

hwd floors, fireplace, W/A, carport Avail. mid-Aug at $895/month The Weiner Companies, Ltd. www.weinercompanies.com

with pkg, w/d hookups, A/C Avail now & mid-August In west Champaign & east Urbana $650 - $795/month The Weiner Companies, Ltd.

(217)359-6400

Urbana Campus 4 bedroom 702 W. Green & 812 W. Main Jimmy 373-4888

JTS Properties 328-4284 Urbana Houses Available August 2005

“Wendt Manor” is Available for August occupancy. Previously occupied by grad or law students. Call for more information 217-714-1988. Agent owned.

Single rooms for women. Clean, laundry facilities, close to campus, located on busline. $245- 260/ month. Utilities included. 367-4824.

ROOMS

ROOM & BOARD

384-8018

905 W. Main

2 BR, 1 Bath, W/D, pets welcome, & off-street parking. $800/mo. Newly remodeled 5 BR, 2 bath, hardwood floors, off-street parking with garage. $1500/mo.

Large 3 BR, 2 Bath, duplex, new flooring, W/D, 1 car garage, $850/mo. 778-2060.

LINCOLN & STOUGHTON Furnished 4 BR w/ 2 BA parking, A/C, laundry $1,200/mo The Weiner Companies, Ltd.

384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

Available now. 3 BR $840/mo. 7664746.

ROOMS

Unfurn. 3 BR, 1.5 BA in Leal School District

www.weinercompanies.com

1 Block From Campus •804 S Busey, U. •4 BR -- 2 BA •Off - Street Parking •Laundry •Wrap Around Porch

510

Rooms in huge graduate student house near West Side Park and downtown Champaign. Will do one semester lease for $3200 or $485 per month for one year lease which includes utilities, trash, telephone, cable, Ethernet, free Washer/Dryer, private off-street parking, use of large living areas. Lease & deposit required. Available August 1st 2005. 217-355-2326.

105 N. Coler

BEAUTIFUL HOUSE

HOUSES

19

SAFE street, furnished, 4 bedroom, 1 block from Lincoln & Green, central air, fireplace, living, dining, kitchen, W/D, includes parking, available August 15. No pets. $1400. 3673530 leave message.

530

540

*Private home includes cable Internet, telephone, utilities, parking. $450. 630-759-3634.

Want community? Vegetarian meals? Affordable private rooms? www.couch.coop

1 BLOCK FROM QUAD FREE utilities, laundry, local phone, a/c, kitchen. Furnished. Hi-speed internet. $235/mo. Private certified housing for male students. University YMCA, 337-1500 (across from Lincoln Hall) johanne@universityymca.org

ROOMMATE WANTED 550

3rd + Chalmers 1 bedroom in 4 bedroom apartment. 815-695-5836 Available Now. Rooms $260/ month. 766-4746. CAMPUS AREA. Quality furnished large room in house on busline. Share kitchen, laundry, utilities. $235 and up. 356-0345. Furnished room and private bath offered free in return for babysitting services. Flexible hours, all terms negotiable. 359-1485.

1 bedroom, near campus $300 per month 367-6626 510 E. White 1 BR in a 2 BR apartment. $350/ mo, 9 month lease. Willing to give 2 free months. Contact David 773852-4296. 605 S. 5th St. Great Location, looking for roommate to share 3 BR apartment. $430/mo. Convenient to busline, furnished. Available August. 815-2285167.

706 W. Hill, C.

$300/mo. + share of utilities. Available Fall. Month to Month. www.cuforrent.com 217-353-5027 Female for 4 BR. apt. at 3rd and Chalmers. Parking, W/D, furnished, 2 full baths, $400/mo. negotiable. 630-418-0618 or cirone@gmail.com Female grad student, urbana house, on busline, garage, large bedroom. $375, call 217-369-7860. Female grads seeking roommates for quiet Champaign House. $295. 408-768-7107 email jheng@uiuc.edu Female roommate for a condo. Only need to sign 9 month lease. $500/mo. Includes all utilities, cable/internet. W/D. Off campus. Short drive to campus on bus route. 312-493-0889, silva@law.uiuc.edu. Male grad student need roommate for spacious 3 BR. Champaign house. Near 2 buslines. $300/mo + utilities. sjcheng@uiuc.edu Male roommate needed. Furnished apartment $280 + utilities. 2 BR apartment with study room. 3rd floor, blocks from Engineering Quad. 847-514-5000 Need one roommate to share fantastic furnished house at 606 W. Springfield, C. Ted 217-766-5108 Roommate wanted mkoszt1@uiuc.edu

$215/mo.

Roommates wanted to share deluxe furnished 3/ 4 bedroom apartments at 3rd & Clark, C. Individual 1 year lease from $225/ mo. Ted 766-5108.

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S


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SCRAMBLED EGGS ALL OVER MY FACE; WHAT IS A BOY TO DO?

Production Department Design Ads for the Daily Illini and Buzz, as well as marketing materials for Illini Media Company. U of I students with a strong design sense needed. Experience in InDesign, Photoshop, and Illustrator a plus. Flexible hours in a fast-paced but fun environment. Interested? Contact jonhuff@illinimedia.com

Page Designers Contact buzz@readbuzz.com CONDOS/DUPLEXES

Roommate Wanted for large 3 bedroom, 1 bath apartment near Downtown Champaign. $400/month, includes all utilities + parking. 847345-3766

3 BR, 2.5 bath, quiet, garage, $775

Share 2 BR apartment with cats, large bedroom w/ bath. , laundry, dishwasher, A/C, on Green line, Available Aug. 15. $275/mo. Deposit negotiable. Call Maranda 217-3900193. Single grad student seeks roommates. Large 5 bedroom home. 3989662. Single, Non-smoking Male to share Downtown Urbana House. Lease required, call 217-841-0995

PARKING/STORAGE

570

Rent storage for the summer. Student special. Own your own storage. 384-5302

FOR RENT

580

2 BR House, 210 Ells. $750/mo. 3 BR Apt. 501 W. Green. $700/mo 355-0520 Large fully furnished room in private home. W/D, all utilities included. Near campus. (217)344-7154.

RealEstateforSale 600 CONDOS/DUPLEXES

620

3 and 4 bedroom townhouses, 1.5 bath, basement, CA, campus bus near Kirby + Mayfair, C. $850-900, 398-1998

620

4 BR, 1.5 bath, quiet, garage, $825 All in Southwest Champaign, Available August 15th. Excellent credit and references required. 367-1406 Colony W. Condo First floor, 2 BR, 1 bath. W/D, D/W included. Access to pool & clubhouse, $725/mo. Aug. 15th. 3840333. Fully furnished Condo in Savoy, laundry room, garage, A/C. Close to bus line. Call 217-356-6680.

Unfurn. 3 BR, 2 BA duplex W/d, d/w, fireplace, 2 car garage

Avail. mid-Aug at $895-995/month

1301 S. Maple, U The Weiner Companies, Ltd.

384-8018 www.weinercompanies.com

HOUSES

630

For Sale 209 E. Kerr, U. 3 BR/ 1BA duplex. Shade trees, carpeted floors, offstreet parking, coin w/d. $225 + $70 util. 687-2654 301/ 304 W. Eureka, C. Aug. 1BR eff. in house. Large shade trees, hrdwd. floors, private entry, coin W/D, A/C, pet friendly. $300- 450 incl. some util. 687-2654.

listen live @ wpgu.com

Send us your event listings

calendar@ readbuzz.com

ROOMMATE WANTED 550

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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