Buzz Magazine: Aug. 11, 2005

AU G . 11

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE FACE HE MADE WHEN – WELL, HE’S MY TWIN BROTHER, I’LL SHOW YOU!.

•

1 7 , 2 OO5

w

e

e

k

l

y

20 • b u z z w e e k l y

Check out these upcoming Special Editions of the Daily Illini. Theyí ll provide all the information youí ll need to kickstart the coming schoolyear!

Move-In Edition Friday August 12th 2005 Welcome Back Edition Friday August 19th 2005 Quad Day Edition Tuesday August 23rd 2005

Looking Between the Lines I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

z buz FREE

s

o

u

n

d

s

f

r

o

m

t

h

7 O8 | 11 | O5 . O8 | 17 | O5 champaign . urbana

e

s

12

c

e

n

e

16

buzz weekly

!"#$%&"'(

THE ANIIMAL DOESN’T EVEN HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS, FOCKER.

the local sniff

AU G . 11

•

1 7 , 2 OO5

I got about two tons of rotting celery I need hauled off, pronto!

SETH FEIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

I AM AN IDIOT… I was awoken Tuesday morning to garbage haulers about to take away my trash, just one hour after my 24 hour period was up. I had called the haulers and arranged for them to take it. My landlord said he’d have the company charge it to him and then he would take it out of my deposit. Fine, right?

Not so. My landlord decided, in the middle of the night out of nowhere, to make me put up the money, which was smart of him because it covers his ass. The haulers I hired showed up at the same time that the city property guy did and I was stuck between a rock and a hard place: Either I pay the fine and let the city hire the haulers or I pay the haulers cash right there and avoid the fine. Needless to say, I let loose on the city property man and on my landlord. I love flying off the handle and ranting and raving; it’s a Fein Family tradition. But I had no right to yell at either one of them.

I am truly sorry, Jason L. of the public works division of Urbana. I am sorry you had to deal with my beautifully well crafted family tradition that is the Jewish temper.After all, I am moving into a new house, I have a sick cat, I have a former roommate who neglected the situation and my girlfriend just had surgery.

If I just would have had 72 hours rather than 24.

THE DUMBEST THING I’VE EVER BEEN A PART OF I have been a part of some pretty stupid ass exchanges in my day. I mean after all, I live in a town where this Chief thing still won’t go away despite its transparency to the rest of the world. But nothin nothing I tell you – could have prepared me for what happened at Geo’s, a bar and grill in Urbana next to the Porn store on Cunningham Ave. Let me tell you the story in the present tense, abridged for sake of space: My buddy and I are hungry at work, so we decide to order some food from Geo’s. We like Geo’s. It is cheap and good; we have eaten there before. We decide to order 10 wings. We both like celery a lot, too. On their menu, it states:“Side of celery – $0.50.”

I call them up and order the wings and ask for an I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

•

1 7 , 2 OO5

APARTMENTS

Idiots of the Week: Seth Fein and Geo’s Bar and Grill

FIRST SNIFF In regards to the city of Urbana’s garbage policy, Public works Director Rod Fletcher ought to reconsider the way he goes about dealing with people’s trash when they are moving out.

We are given just 24 hours to get rid of it if we put it next to the curb? Only a day? Come on Urbana.

In addition to moving out of a former house, we have to move into a new one; we have jobs; we have sick cats; we have roommates who neglect the situation, we have girlfriends who just had surgery.

You’d think being a tolerant and lenient city, something Urbana proclaims to be, that they would give you a little bit more time to take care of something like that. It is apparent to me: They do it to ensure that most people get fined. They want to fill the city coffers with Bullshit. I put it to you Laurel Prussing! Change this heinous law and give us citizens more time to deal with our trash. Not a month, not a week, but at least a couple of days!

AU G . 11

additional six sides of celery, put in a separate box so it will stay cool. She says it will be 15-20 minutes.

Jake goes to get the food and when he comes back, there is no separate box. Just the wings with ONE side of celery in the same box. I go back to Geo’s to get my celery. Granted, they didn’t charge me for it. But, hey – I like celery and that was what I ordered.

Here is the exchange I had with her when I arrived, paraphrased based on memory and again, space: Me: Hi. I actually ordered six sides of celery in a separate container. (I open my box to show her that there is only one side and that it is hot from being in the same box as the wings) Her:What do you need all that celery for?

Me: To eat it?

Her:That’s a lot of celery right there though.

Me: I know that you might think that it’s a lot.

But I ordered six times this amount.

Her:Yeah, but you only have ten wings.That is all the celery that comes with ten wings.

Seth Fein is from Me: ( I point to the menu) Urbana. He loves That’s why I ordered six celery. He also EXTRA sides! loves intelligence.

He only got one Her: That’s an awful lot of this week. He can celery you’ve got there already. be reached at What do you need more of it sethfein@ for, anyway? hotmail.com Me: Let me speak to your manager.

(She goes to get the manager and I can see that she is explaining it to him) Him: Can I help you?

Me: Yes. I would like six sides of celery. Your menu has it listed for $0.50 an order. I would like six of them.

Him:What do you need all the celery for?

Me: To fucking EAT IT, MAN! I like celery. It’s crispy, it’s crunchy, it’s healthy! Don’t question me on my order. Just give it to me.

Her: How many sticks of celery to you want, man?

Me: However many come in six side orders!

Her: Okay, man.Whatever.

(She goes and gets the celery.)

(I open the box to find approximately TWO orders in there) Me:What happened?

Her:What?

Me:There are only two orders in here.

Her: Okay. Just tell me how many sticks of celery you want.

Me: How many come in an order?!?

Her: Six to eight.

Me: Then do the math! Get me between 36-48 pieces of celery!

(She goes and comes back with 41 pieces) Her: Happy now?

Him:What on earth are you going to do with all that celery?

430

Unfurnished

SOUTHWEST PLACE APTS, C Aug 2005. 2 bedroom Duplexes were $585/mo, now $525/mo., 2 Townhouses were $685/mo, now $575/mo. Carpet, gas heat, central A/C. Some units have w/d’s in units, w/d hook-ups, or laundry in bldg, garages, dishwashers, disposals, patio/balconies, parking. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Other Rentals 500 HOUSES

HOUSES

510

316 S. State St., C 4/ 5 bedroom home, 2 baths, 2 full kitchens, laundry room. $1100/mo.

369-7205.

Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2850 367-6626

FREE RENT! 806 W. Stoughton, Urbana- Are you and your friends still looking for a house for rent? This large house is a steal at reduced pricing. Four bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms and a garage. Recently updated with newer carpet and vinyl. Now offering 1/2 off security deposit and 1 month’s free rent. $1395/mo.

Call Allison Today!

510

www.ramshaw.com (217)359-6400

2 bedroom and 7 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2004. 367-6626.

Available now. 3 BR $840/mo. 7664746.

!"#$%&$'''%%(()*+(()

HOUSES

510

JTS Properties 328-4284 Urbana Houses Available August 2005 905 W. Main

2 BR, 1 Bath, W/D, pets welcome, & off-street parking. $800/mo.

105 N. Coler

Newly remodeled 5 BR, 2 bath, hardwood floors, off-street parking with garage. $1500/mo.

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

1 bedroom, near campus $300 per month 367-6626 Need roommate to share a 3 bedroom house. Off Neil and Hessel. $300/mo + utilities. 352-1704 Roomate wanted. House in Urbana. $145/mo. Call (630)204-7361.

ROOM & BOARD

PARKING/STORAGE

540

Want community?

Vegetarian meals? Affordable private rooms? www.couch.coop

Quality apartments and houses for rent • On-campus or off-campus • Excellent Tenant Union record • Weekend/evening showings by appointment

CALL US AT (217) 384-6930 VIEW OUR LISTINGS @ www.johnsmithproperties.com

HOUSES

630

570

Near Lincoln & Illinois. 1 garage also avaiable. 417-0566.

FOR RENT

The Daily Illini

311 W. William St. Vintage Charm and quality craftsmanship, abound in the 3 BR, 1.5 bath cape cod. Desirable OldTown Champaign location. A rare gem. $194,000. 217-352-2947.

Call for appointment.

every Monday through Friday The Daily Illini is the independent student newspaper at U of I and is distributed all over campus and around Champaign-Urbana

Listen to the Flashback Cafe.

580

Great campus location. 606 1/2 & 608 E. Stoughton, Champaign. 1 BR apartment $450/mo. 9 room house $2,400. Free parking. 217-493-6519

WANTED TO RENT

590

Grad student seeks quiet housing for Fall only. 707-342-5422

Everyday at Noon.

WPGU 107.1

RealEstateforSale 600 CONDOS/DUPLEXES

620

CLASSIFIEDS 337-8337

1310 Mumford, Urbana. 2 BR. C/ A, attached garage, laundry hookup, good location. Available Now. $615/ mo. 778-5000, 356-5153.

Colony West Condo 2BR, W/D, D/W, 1st floor unit with walk- out patio. Access to pool and club house Available immediately.

384-0333

www.wpgu.com

RENTS STARTING AT

,-./0.//.1.2345

$420

BEST BANG FOR YOUR BUCK SPRING SPECIALS!

No Security Deposit $50 Off Application Fee $50 Look & Lease Drawing on 6/30/05 for: • MP3 Player • Digital Camcorder • Mobile Entertainment System • and other cool prizes!

CAMPUS CONNECTION formerly Melrose Apartments 1601 N Lincoln Ave, Urbana

278-0278

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

!

19

Pick up a copy of

For Sale

Roommates wanted to share spacious house in Urbana. W/D, furnished, full yard, hot tub, high speed internet, must be dog friendly. $350/ $400/mo. + 1/4 utilities. 369-5540. or dfdoane@uiuc.edu.

Two male grads to share beautiful 4 bedroom, 2 bath house Urbana. $295. Off-street parking. 10 paces from bus. Washer/dryer. Available now. Chris 732-619-8385. cwhalen@ uiuc.edu.

www.wpgu.com

• Many pet-friendly locations • Furnished AND Unfurnished units • 9 month leases negotiable at some locations

ROOMMATE WANTED 550

SAFE street, new carpets/ interiors, furnished, 4 bedroom, 1 block from Lincoln & Green, central air, fireplace, living, dining, kitchen, W/D, includes parking, available August 15. No pets. $1400. 3673530 leave message.

FINAL WHIFF This is not a joke.This what actually happened.

s o u n d s

buzz weekly •

YOU CALL YOURSELF AN ENVIRONMENTALIST, WHY DON'T YOU GO CLUB A FEW BEAVERS?

www.collegeparkweb.com

Send us your event listings

calendar@readbuzz.com

2 •

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion.

• All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time.

• All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student.

• Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment.

• All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student.

• This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

Employment 000 010

HELP WANTED Full Time

Paid-in-Advance: 28¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

310

1987 VOLVO 740 GLE silver, red leather, 133,000 miles, sunroof, power windows, front seat warmers.

Great car! $1750 obo 217-344-9084

EXECUTIVE LOFT 201 S. Wright St., Champaign.

Adjacent to Engineering campus.

Loft bedroom, security parking, balcony, A/C, laundry.

Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012 Large, Luxury, Quiet. 2 Br. Loft apt.

Close to campus, No smoke, No pets, utilities paid, with W/D. $700.

355-9463.

Need Drivers, kitchen help and phone person. Flexible shift (Day, evening and night). Call 355-3278 or Apply in store.

The Daily Illini is now hiring part-time Office Assistants for an immediate opening that may extend to the fall semester. Flexible scheduling available from late morning to early afternoon Monday- Friday. Duties include answering telephones, greeting customers, processing payments and various other duties. Enthusiasm and willingness to provide excellent internal and external customer service are a must. Interested applicants can stop by our office at 57 East Green St. to fill out application or email melanie@illinimedia.com UI students needed to staff Quad Day table, Tuesday, August 23.

9:00a.m. to 3:30p.m. $60.

Call Esther at Tenant Union 333-0112.

HELP WANTED

030

Full/Part Time

$8.25/HR. STARTING Office and Warehouse Associate.

Flexible hours, Meyer Drapery 330 N. Neil. Downtown Champaign. Apply in person or send resume. 3525318.

Earn $5000 as an egg donor. Must be 20-29 and a non-smoker. Please call Alternative Reproductive Resources at 773-327-7315 or 847446-1001 to learn how you can help a family fulfill its dreams.

Harvest help on organic vegetable farm. Now-Nov. 1. Full/ Part time positions. 643-2031.

!""#$$%&&'( )*+,-((./$ /0'&&$(1$/+&*2 3,4*,$5367)222 8+&&$99:;<9""=$$$

1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $545 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking.

Fall 04, 367-6626

312 W. Springfield, URBANA Aug 2005. Very attractive units in newer building. On bus line, near downtown Urbana and campus.

Washer/dryers in each unit; covered parking; balconies. Two bedroom apts from $735/mo. To furnish $50/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

609 W. MAIN, U. Renting Aug 2005. 2 bedroom apts Furnished $525/mo. Parking optional, Central A/C, Carpet, laundry facilities, Gas Heat, Ethernet connection avail. Showing 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Available for Fall 407 E. University. Luxury one bedrooms, fully equipped- microwave, washer/dryer in-unit. Security building with elevator. Balconies, underground parking.

Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012 Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550 per month. 367-6626.

Available now. Efficiencies 1, 2, 3 bedrooms. $390- $750/mo. 7664746.

BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480.

1 Br. $370 2 BR. $470 3 BR. $750 4 BR $755 Campus. 367-6626.

Campus 2 room, stove, refrigerator, utilities, Parking. 356-2476, 3566191

COURTYARD ON RANDOLPH 713 S. Randolph,C. Now renting for Fall.

1, 3 BR left from $678.

Near campus, downtown Champaign. Includes cable, parking, water.

Has laundry facilities and seasonal pool.

217-352-8540 217-355-4608 (evenings) www.faronproperties.com

NO BULL!

Free Best Buy and Campus Tan gift certificate with each signed lease!

Remodeled apartments that redefine campus living.

3 and 4 bedroom apartments available at 810 S. Oak St. between John and Daniel in Champaign.

3 bedroom apartment at $999/mo. (only $333 per roommate!)

4 bedroom apartment at $999/mo. (less than $250 per roommate!)

High-speed internet, water, and trash included!

Laundry in building.

NINE MONTH LEASES NEGOTIABLE

111 E. Healey, Champaign Available now and Fall 2005. Extra large 1 bd and efficiencies. Prices ranging from $375-485. Off-street parking, security building, & 5 floor plans to choose from. Make your appointment today!

217-384-6930

Aug 2005. Very attractive Colonial building. Great location on bus line.

Large 2 bedroom corner apts approx 800 sq. ft. were $450/mo, now $425/mo. Interior 2 bedroom apts were $425/mo, now $395/mo. $50/mo to furnish. Central A/C, carpet, laundry, parking available.

Apartments shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com Sunnycrest Apartments 1717 E. Florida, U Large 1 and 2 BR apartments. Includes water and parking, on-site laundry, pool. Starting @ $450/mo.

Campo Rental Agency 344-1927.

UNIQUE Available Fall. 1 bedroom loft apartment. Fully equipped. Balcony, parking. 409 W. Green. Call Hardwick Apartments, 356-5272 or 621-1012.

APARTMENTS

3 blocks to Engineering Quad. 3 BR $690, 4 BR $890. C/A, ceiling fan, dishwasher, washer/dryer in unit.

384-1099, castle_apartments@ameritech.net

311 E. WHITE, C Avail Aug 2005. Large furnished efficiencies close to Beckman Center.

Rent starts at $325/mo. Parking avail at $30/mo. Window A/C, carpet, High Speed Internet connection avail. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Now & Fall 2005 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kenny, 493-0429.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

509 W. MAIN, U. Quiet Urbana location very close to campus avail for Aug 2005. 1 BR apts. Rents start at $405/mo. Carpet, laundry facilities, window A/C, storage, parking avail at $25/mo.

Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

602 E. Stoughton Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments.

All furnished, laundry, internet, and parking available. Must see!!

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

420

Furnished

1006 S. 3RD, C. Aug 2005. 1 bedroom. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

104 E. Armory, C. 3 & 4 bedroom apartment, 2 baths.

All new furniture. Great Location.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

1107 S. EUCLID, C Aug 2005 rental. Near Armory, IMPE and Snack Bar. 1 bedroom apts.

Window A/C, Gas Heat, laundry.

Parking $35/mo. Rents start at $395/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

MJM/Chateau Apartments Champaign 2 Bedrooms 403 E. White - $540/mo.

302 S. Fourth - $540/mo.

405 E. White - $400/mo.

All Units: Carpet, A/C, Appliances Cable & Internet Ready Parking Available On-Site Laundry

Ask Tenant Union about us 390-2377

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

1 7 , 2 OO5 430

APARTMENTS Unfurnished

Courtyard 713 S. Randolph, C. 1, 3 BR poolside unit left.

From $678 Near campus and downtown Champaign. Includes parking, cable, water, laundry facilities, and seasonal pool.

352-8540, 377-4677 pm www.faronproperties.com

JTS Properties 328-4284

503- 505- 508 E. White

PRICES SLASHED 1405-1407 W. KIRBY, C

420

APARTMENTS Furnished

304 & 306 E. Clark, C Castle Apartments

410

Furnished/Unfurnished EASY $ Looking for computer literate people to work Aug 17- 27. $12/hr.

(217)766-3685. Ask for Jon

420

301 E. White, C. 2 BR apartment avaiable mid- August, includes water and parking. $625/mo. Campo Rental Agency 344-1927.

400

APARTMENTS

Part Time

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

Billed rate: 35¢/word

AUTOMOBILES

APARTMENTS Furnished

020

DEADLINE:

RATES:

Furnished/Unfurnished

Apartments HELP WANTED

410

APARTMENTS

•

Furnished one bedrooms and efficiencies from $325, $365, and $395 near John and Second or Healey and Third. 356-1407.

GREAT VALUE

306- 308- 309 White August 2005. 1 & 3 Bedroom furnished apts. Balconies, patios, laundry, dishwashers, off-street parking, ethernet available. 352-3182 or 8411996 anytime, 309 S. First.

The University Group www.ugroup96.com

JOHN STREET APARTMENTS 58 E. John August 2005. Two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwashers, center courtyard, on-site laundry, central air, ethernet available.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 Showings Monday-Friday 10-5 Saturday 11-4 LANDO PLACE 707 South 6th, C. Large 1 BR. Includes water and trash removal. On-site Laundry. Secured Building. Local phone service and ethernet. Parking Available.

From $580/mo.

CAMPO RENTAL AGENCY 344-1927 New Building “Lofts on John” One bedroom, unfurnished, W/D, dishwasher, opening August 05 $650/mo. Near John and 2nd. Call 356-1407

OLD TOWN CHAMPAIGN 510 S. Elm Available Fall 2005. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, dishwasher, W/D, central air/heat, off street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. $525/mo. 841-1996.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 Parkview Apartments 121 W. Park, Urbana Efficiency apartments for fall. Includes water, trash removal, on-site laundry. $395/mo. Campo Rental Agency 344-1927.

APARTMENTS

430

Unfurnished 1 bedroom in older home. $625/ mo.

Utilities included. 314 S. State St, Champaign. 369-7205 2 Bedroom Large Townhouses.

Most Utilities Paid at 707 W. California. $595. Phone 493-6483, 3845668.

404 S. Prairie, C Conveniently located 2 bedroom townhouse. Now available. Near campus and downtown Champaign, $510/mo. 352-8540, 377-4677 pm. www.faronproperties.com 507 W. White, C. Contemporary 2 BR, now available.

In the heart of Old-town Champaign. $510/mo, 352-8540, 377-4677pm. www.faronproperties.com

s o u n d s

A U G . 1 1 1 7 , 2 OO5

EDITOR’S NOTE PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

606 S. PRAIRIE, C Huge 1 bedroom apts in quiet Champaign neighborhood near campus and bus line. Perfect for Grad Students. Gas heat, window a/c, free off street parking. Priced $50/mo below competition. From $380/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com 616 Healey Quiet 1 bedroom, free parking, water, trash. $385. 352-6101.

703 W. CHURCH, C Aug 2005. Close to downtown in quiet location on bus line. 2 bedrooms at $480/mo. Patio/balconies, Central A/C, Gas Heat, Carpet, Laundry in building. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Park-like Setting

2 BR avail. mid-August laundry, pkg, W/A, $485/mo

The Weiner Companies, Ltd

384-8018

www.weinercompanies.com

PRICES SLASHED 115 W. WASHINGTON, U

Avail Aug 2005. 1 bedroom apts.

Carpet, window a/c, laundry, boiler heat. Rent was $510/mo. Now $425/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

PRICES SLASHED

A

fter watching all of my friends, save a few, cross the threshold before me, I am finally turning 21 on Friday, tomorrow, August 12. Insert Emma’s patented “I’m 21!” dance here. Since I’m sure you have no idea what that means, a friend of mine named Emma, the editor of the yearbook, has a wonderfully funny dance for turning 21.

Anyway, I’m quite excited about it because I can finally purchase and consume alcohol legally. So if you’re in town and looking for something to do on Friday, come to Murphy’s around midnight, I will most likely be there, and everyone’s welcome, unless you’re going to be mean, then don’t come.

Enough of this birthday crap, I’ve got some things to complain about. I LOVE baseball. I love watching it, I love playing it, I love my Cubbies (I’m actually at the Cubs/Cards game today, let’s go Cubs!). And even though we’ve been losing a lot lately, I still love ‘em.

But I’ve recently turned quite angry towards America’s pasttime. Steroids have been the hot topic in baseball all year, and Rafael Palmeiro’s recent blunder has really gotten to me. In case you don’t follow baseball, or have been living under a rock for a while, here’s what happened: Rafael Palmeiro, one of the biggest names in baseball, and a man who vehemently

FAIRLAWN VILLAGE FAIRLAWN & VINE SEMESTER LEASES Aug 2005. Live in a peaceful, relaxed, neighborhood setting. Fairlawn Village is a one-story apartment community, spread out on twelve acres, close to U of I, shopping and walking distance to schools. Spacious apartments with washer/dryer hook up, a/c, and garages available.Two bedrooms from $500 to $550/mo. Call for an appointment.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 344-5043 www.barr-re.com PRICES SLASHED 508 S. MATTIS, C Aug 2005. One of Champaign’s finest apartment complexes featuring a beautiful courtyard. 2 bedroom apts were $525/mo, now $475/mo. On bus line with Central A/C, Carpet, Gas Heat, Laundry facilities, Patios or Balconies, Covered Parking. Apts shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

South Busey Classic style, 1 bedroom plus study.

Bright, sunny, in quiet neighborhood near Cafe Paradiso. Laundry, parking. Sorry no pets. 12 mo lease. References. $545 + utilities. 344-2775

Earn some

t h e

s c e n e

BUZZ STAFF v o l u m e

denied using steroids in a congressional hearing earlier this year, was suspended for 10 games for testing positive for steroids.

Here’s my beef: this guy is supposed to be a role model. He’s been in the league for a long time, and now it comes out that he’s using steroids. Ok, I can see that. His numbers jumped once Jose Canseco joined him on the Rangers. But Palmeiro told CONGRESS that he didn’t and doesn’t use steroids. And what was his punishment? A ten game suspension.

Please, that’s a mini vacation. Oh, and the way it worked out, Palmeiro was able to appeal the decision long enough to get his 3,000th hit before the suspension took place.

TEN GAMES!? A future Hall of Famer gets caught using steroids, and he only gets ten games? This was baseball’s chance to really send a message about steroids.They sent a message about gambling when they banned Pete Rose for life, why couldn’t they inflict a similar penalty here?

Steroids are compromising the integrity of the game and of the players, and I for one am outraged. A professinoal tennis player was recently caught using a masking agent (chemical used to hide other drugs in his system) and was suspended for 2 years.

Please, PLEASE let Bud Selig push his 50 game, 100 game, lifetime suspension steroid policy. Baseball needs it, and little kids need baseball heroes again. Heroes that aren’t on the juice.

- Paul

3

n o . 3 2

uNDER c OVER

|1-4|

Cover Design • Nikita Sorokin Editor in chief • Paul Wagner Art Director • Claire Napier Copy Chief • Paul Wagner Music • Kyle Gorman Arts • Constance Beitzel Film • Andrew Vecelas Community • Erin Scottberg Calendar • Erin Scottberg Photography Editor • David Solana Designers • Brittany Bindrim, Nikita Sorokin, Obumneme Asota Calendar Coordinators • Cassie Conner, Todd Swiss Photography • Austin Happel Copy Editors • Sarah Goebel, Gary Peeples Staff Writers • Todd Swiss, Paul Prikazsky, Syd Slobodnik, Beth Dillman, Todd J. Hunter Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein Production Manager • Meredith Niepert Sales Manager • Anna Rost Marketing/Distribution • Louis Reeves III Publisher • Mary Cory

2 2 2 3 4 |5-6| 5 |7-8| 7 8 8 8

| 9 - 11 | | 12 - 13 | 12 12 13

TALK TO BUZZ e-mail: buzz@readbuzz.com

| 14 - 16 |

write: 57 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820

14

call: 217.337.3801

15

We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date.

Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini

16

Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50

© Illini Media Company 2005

3

16 16 | 17 | 17 17 | 18 - 20 |

INTRO

The Local Sniff • Seth Fein This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening Editor’s Note • Paul Wagner First Things First • Michael Coulter

AROUND TOWN iPower fitness • Erin Scottberg

LISTEN, HEAR The Courtyard at the Union • Kyle Gorman (Th)ink • Keef Knight Sound Ground #88 • Todd J. Hunter Theory of Everything review • Susan Schomburg

MAIN EVENT ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT Wicked review • Jeff Nelson Becoming a Wine Connoisseur • Constance Beitzel Artist’s Corner with Sven johnson

THE SILVER SCREEN Stanley Kubrick festival • Tim Peters Broken Flowers review • Paul Prikazsky Dukes of Hazzard review • David Just Movie Time Listings Slowpoke • Jen Sorensen

THE STINGER Free Will Astrology Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney

CLASSIFIEDS

TONIGHT- Eclectic Theory

10pm-1am Happy Hour- 1/2 price appetizers, Drink specials all night long.

CASH with the BUZZ!

PAGE DESIGNERS AND COPY EDITORS NEEDED For fall semester or willing to start immediatley PAGE DESIGNERS

Design experience required. Familiarity with QuarkXPress or Adobe InDesign needed. Send e-mail with resume to napier.claire@gmail.com COPY EDITORS

CLASSIFIEDS 337-8337 f r o m

buzz weekly •

PUFF IS JUST THE NAME OF THE BOY'S MAGICAL DRAGON... YOU A POTHEAD, FOCKER?

•

THE

PHONE: 217/337-8337 DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

AU G . 11

pg.17

YOU KNOW, WE’RE NOT THE ONLY ONES DESTROYING TREES. WHAT ABOUT BEAVERS.

Puzzle

18 • b u z z w e e k l y

Editing experience required. Contact Paul at buzz@readbuzz.com

*Enter to win a in Joe’s Private Party Room at wqqb.com.

RESTAURANT ~ BAR ~ BEER GARDEN PRIVATE PARTY ROOM ~ DANCE CLUB JOE’S BREWERY ~ 5TH AND GREEN ~ CAMPUSTOWN 217-384-1790 ~ WWW.JOESBREWERY.COM

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

4 •

buzz weekly

!"#$%&'

DID I CATCH A NINER IN THERE? WERE YOU CALLING FROM A WALKIE-TALKIE? IT WAS CORDLESS...

first things first

House arrest with Martha Stewart

AU G . 11

•

1 7 , 2 OO5

Life is a TRAGEDY for those who feel,

As hideous as she thinks it is, I’m bettin it’s a pretty sweet deal

Thank you for choosing us!

• Spoon up our snowstorms • Super thick shakes & malts • Yummy Sundaes • Delicious Custard Cups & Cones • Fresh baked waffle cones • 30% less calories & butterfat than ice cream

infusions • outdoor seating • peanuts • staff • wine menu

$7 Specia $7 PizSzp

217-398-5858 University at Walnut - 21 For Drinks -

• Made fresh daily right in our store for your enjoyment!

• Well worth the walk or drive from campus!

Gregory Kirby

1st

309 W. Kirby, Champaign 352-2273

Green Neil

Mon-Sat 12-10PM Sunday 1-10PM

was caught riding around her estate on an off road vehicle and going to a yoga class with her daughter. Man, that sucks for her, three more weeks confined to her “estate.” Trust me, Martha, I’ve seen your old saggy ass and there comes a time when yoga is something best done behind closed doors, not in front of others. Maybe next time she skips out of jail she can run by the library and check out a book on the con- Michael Coulter cept of “punishment” because is a videographI really don’t think she under- er, comedian and sort of a stands it properly.

Miss Stewart’s lawyers have smart-ass. But complained that the terms of her we love him anyhome confinement have hurt her way, and don’t efforts to revive her company, know why.

Mar tha Stewar t Living Ominimedia, Inc. No shit? That’s what’s supposed to happen when you’re confined and punished, isn’t it? Geez Louise, even Richard Speck didn’t have the stones to complain that being in prison was greatly diminishing his ability to kill nurses. Sometimes a prison sentence can really dick up you whole life plan, I suppose.

lty

aecsi P izza alty Greek, Bleu Pear, $ Ssp

7 Piz ecia

BBQ Chicken, Pesto, Mexican, zas lty $ Sp Garden, White Garlic 7 Pizzeacsialty -or design your own-

• sandwich menu • pizza •

ì Best Kept Secret in C≠ Uî

talk about house arrest for a moment. Sure, many people choose it over prison, but aren’t you really just cheating yourself out of the harsh punishment you richly deserve? Yeah, you have an ankle monitor on and you’re confined to the inside of your house, but what’s that really teaching you besides the fact that you never sweep under the couch? Sure, having a friend come over in the middle of the night to anally rape you can give any house the feeling of incarceration, but let’s face it, the threat really isn’t as great and thus, you aren’t learning the hard lessons of prison life.

House arrest is pretty much what it says it is.

You can’t leave the house except to go to work and get groceries. Holy crap, I was under house arrest all last week and didn’t even know it.

When I was a poor kid right out of college all I did on vacation was lay on the couch and watch TV and let me tell you, it didn’t feel like punishment in any way, shape, or form.A whole lot of folks live their lives like they’re under house arrest and they haven’t even done anything wrong, but Martha’s a little more special than the common man and she deserves better…at least she thinks she does.

Maybe that’s why she got an extra 3 weeks added to her sentence last week when she

martini and cocktail menu •

S

ome things in life are just fun, taking a pee in the yard, for example. I can’t really explain why, maybe because I don’t have to aim or maybe because it reminds me of growing up in the country, but damn it, it gives me pleasure.

Staring at blind people is also high on the list for me, probably because I think they don’t know I’m staring and possibly because I think they might be faking it and I’m trying to catch them in a “non-blind” moment. There are also the old standbys like having sex, getting drunk, or smoking. I mean, those things are fun no matter what the circumstance. Here’s another thing that is fun as hell for a guy like me…making fun of Martha Stewart’s trouble.

Poor Miss Stewart. One would think that getting out of jail would be a good thing, but Martha doesn’t really see it that way since she’s still under house arrest.That tortured woman, a prisoner in a house that she accessorized. She told Vanity Fair that “house arrest is hideous.”

Really? Hideous?

Me dressed up like Jessica Simpson in The Dukes of Hazzard is hideous, house arrest is just

a pain in the ass. Maybe they didn’t have dictionaries in the prison she went to. I mean, what could be that hideous about it? She’s always talking on her show about what a talented decorator she is, so you would think staying in a house she created would make her as happy as a pig in shit. It doesn’t. So there you go, um, things that are hideous, the Elephant Man and the inside of Martha’s house.

She should have just rolled with the punches and made a show out of it: “For my house arrest, I thought it’d be fun to make my mansion a replica of the famed Leavenworth Prison.

A quick trip to the junkyard should be all you need to find metal bars that can transform an ordinary doorway into an entrance to the tomb of death. I stopped by the Army Surplus store and picked up metal plates and cups, a subtle touch that really adds authenticity to your time in the pen.”

“If you can’t find anything to make cell doors with, feel free to simply use a regular door that has a working lock. Don’t forget to shave at least five inches off the bottom of that door though, otherwise it’ll be hard for the butler to slide you your dinner, a roasted quail with cous cous and a lovely mango chutney.”

Let’s take a quick break from the bashing and

and a COMEDY for those who think.

value • pool tables • separate non-smoking section •

MICHAEL COULTER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Memorial Stadium

Jarlingí s

across from Jerry’s IGA

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

Silver Bullet Bar 1401 E. Washington, U. www.silverbulletbar.net 344-0937 BEST BAR IN CHAMPAIGN-URBANA BEST DJ’S AND MUSIC - BEST DRINK SPECIALS

Monday - $2 Domestic Beers Tuesday - $2 Rum & Coke Wednesday - $2.50 Screwdrivers Thursday - $2 Amaretto Stone Sours FREE POOL 8PM-9PM FEMALE DANCERS NIGHTLY OPEN Monday - Thursday 8pm-1am Friday-Saturday 8pm-2am Ladies & Couples Welcome Always Free Admission with our T-Shirt ATM $5.00 Admission/Ladies Free Accepted MUST BE 21

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

!"#$%&'(")&*+$*(

f r e e

w i l l

a s t r o l o g y

ARIES

(March 21-April 19)

It's time to play a game called Do-It-Yourself Horoscope!

Here's how it works: I provide a skeleton outline of your fortune, and you fill in the blanks. This exercise is designed to boost your self-reliance and compel you to seek answers more aggressively from your inner teacher--skills that are especially important for you to develop right now. Ready? Weave the following threads together to create your oracle. 1) The magic toy is within reach. (2) Sexy heresies are risky and wise. (3) It's good to take liberties as long as you do so with gentle sensitivity. (4) Are you smart enough to be pregnant with wellearned hope? (5) A funky asset is 18 percent larger than normal. (6) The sinewy, supple, serpentine approach will require all your concentration and provide all you need.

TAU RU S

(April 20-May 20)

()*% +,-."#'-,/012

Gemini. Focus on some precious form of sustenance that you take for granted (either metaphorical or literal), and give yourself firsthand experience of everything it goes through to get from its source to you.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

The wisdom I'm about to offer is always useful, but especially right now. Please take it to heart as you wrestle with the tricky opportunities that are becoming available. "The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words," wrote Philip K. Dick in his essay, "How to Build A Universe That Won't Fall Apart in Two Days." "If you can control the meaning of words," he continued, "you can control the people who must use the words."

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

Born under the sign of the Bull, my friend Sarah is a stupendously creative person. The flow of fertile intuition never seems to stop. She attributes this blessing, which is also a bit of a curse, to her relationship with an imaginary friend she calls Eliza. "Eliza is mostly my mysterious and helpful muse, but sometimes she fills me up with too much good stuff," she says. "She can give me so many insights, ideas, and inspirations that I feel like I'm going to explode." In the coming week, Taurus, I suspect your experience will resemble Sarah's.

Would you like to know the best way to ensure the abundance doesn't turn into excess? Make room in your life for a flood of invigorating changes.

A company's CEO is its chief executive officer, and the CFO is its chief financial officer. Even if you already serve in one of those roles, I'll ask you to give yourself a different title for at least the next two weeks: CVO, or chief visionary officer. In fact, please become an excitable purveyor of thrillingly out-ofthe-box ideas no matter what line of work you're in, or even if you're unemployed. It's time for you to dream up possibilities that have been inconceivable until now. But also keep in the back of your mind this caveat, courtesy of business visionary Tom Grueskin. When asked by Fast Company, "Can the imagination ever run too wild?", he replied, "The imagination itself, no. What's done with it, yes."

GEMINI

VIRGO

(May 21-June 20)

Wheat is an essential part of your diet, but you've probably never harvested wheat plants in their raw state and prepared them by hand for eating. If you did, you'd begin by using a scythe to cut down the tall stalks in the field. Then you'd beat them with a flail, separating the heads of wheat from the straw. Next you'd remove the fibrous outer husk that surrounds each kernel of wheat. Finally, you'd grind the kernels in a mill, turning them into flour. I highly recommend that you actually do this or something similar in the coming week,

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

It's actually not the darkest just before the dawn. The time when there is least light is about 2 a.m. Metaphorically speaking, you passed through that dense dimness about ten days ago, and are now muddling through a phase that's equivalent to the hour right before the dawn. It may not be a cheerful romp through fantasyland, but neither will it be a scary tribulation in a dank nightmare. You're almost home free, Virgo.

Don't you dare get superstitious on me now.

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

42 Ride the updrafts 43 Sharp flavors 44 Scout's container 46 Tempestt who played Vanessa Huxtable 48 High-priced caviar source 50 "___ Mine" (George Harrison autobiography) 51 Princess who helps out Link 53 Where some go diving 58 Sean Lennon's middle name 59 Stuff you're supposed to bathe in if you're sprayed by a skunk 62 Combining form meaning "egg" 63 Ready to spit nails 64 Acrylic fiber brand 65 Barrett of Pink Floyd 66 They may get swollen when you're sick 67 Late fashion designer Geoffrey Down 1 Follower of art?

2 Ghostbuster played by s c e n e

Harold Ramis 3 Ball trajectories 4 Take turf twice 5 They rarely blink 6 Sunburn remedy 7 Places for some flamingos 8 Like -3 9 Bullfight cheer 10 She ran for vice president in 1984 11 Tubful Roger Daltrey lounged in on the cover of "The Who Sell Out" 12 Hardly captivating 13 Con quarters 18 Amanda of "Igby Goes Down" 22 An, as in "an enchilada" 25 Unreliable source, often 26 Fixes 27 "The Love Boat" bartender 28 Cake, in Italian restaurants 29 What 16th-17th century countess Elizabeth Bathory reputedly bathed in to stay younger 30 Cleaning time?

1 1

LIBRA

-

a u g

1 7

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Have you heard of the term "doughnut lies"? They're what happens when people create misleading impressions by leaving out important facts from the center of what they say. Be especially careful to avoid them in the coming week, Libra. Neither be victimized by them nor victimize anyone yourself. It has rarely been more important than it is right now to be devoted to the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. (P.S. But it's fine to eat more than your usual quota of doughnuts.)

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

I couldn't believe the show I saw on the cable channel Spike TV: "Blind Date with a Crackwhore." Fred, a twenty-something stockbroker, got set up on a date with Propecia, a fortyish crackwhore. I watched with horrified fascination as she rejected all his gentile attempts to create rapport, constantly turning the conversation back to where they could score some crack. I bring this to your attention, Scorpio, in hopes it will serve as a shining example of how not to proceed in the near future. You have in place everything you need to experience a week full of intensely meaningful adventures with allies who bring out the best in you. Therefore, don't flirt with senseless, random distractions--like blind dates with crackwhores, for instance. And don't do what I did, which is waste precious time entranced by stupid crap. Give every spare moment to capitalizing on the integrity-filled success that's available.

S AG I T TA R I U S

(Nov. 22-Dec.21)

Just as today's fundamentalists quote the Bible to rationalize their persecution of homosexuals, some 16th-century Christians used the good book to justify slavery. I predict that our descendants will look back with equally horrified amazement at both of these errors. And that thought is a good introduction to your assignment in the coming week, Sagittarius. What intolerant, ignorant, or hidebound beliefs do you hold that will be embarrassing to the Future You? It's a per fect time, astrologically speaking, to divest yourself of them. (P.S. I don't mean to imply you're more narrow-mind-

jonesin crossword puzzle Across 1 1 Lovable sorts 6 Cold 11 Network that shows "EastEnders" 14 Bird with beautiful plumes 15 Gazpacho grabber 16 Ginger ___ 17 Ingredient 1/8 cup of which is used in a bath at Pennsylvania's Hotel Hershey Spa 19 Penn of "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle" 20 Like some personae 21 Oscar winner Mercedes of "The Fisher King" 23 Bee follower 24 DNA segment 27 Owie response 31 Able to get on the payroll 34 Meal starters, often 35 Ragu competitor 37 Suffix for musket 38 Word on green T-shirts 39 Makes the coffee 40 WWI spy ___ Hari 41 ___ glance

a u g

Homework: Talk about how your best and worst overlap. Testify at www.freewillastrology.com.

ed than the rest of us; we all have short-sighted opinions we won't be proud of when we're older and wiser. It's just that this is your special time to free yourself of yours.)

C A P R I C O R N (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) "There will come a time when you believe everything is fin-

ished," wrote novelist Louis L'Amour. "Yet that will be the beginning." He could have been describing your life in the coming week, Capricorn. Just when you're sure you've gone as far as you can go, worked as hard as you can work, and exhausted all the possibilities, you will find the secret to a sweet, fresh gamble that will awaken your most brilliant innocence.

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

While filming an underwater scene for her upcoming movie "The Blue," actress Jessica Alba accidentally found herself in uncomfortable proximity to a shark. Rather than panic and flee, though, she thumped it on the nose, causing it to swim away. I nominate her to be your role model in the coming week, Aquarius. While I don't expect you to have a literal encounter with a shark, I do expect you to have a brush with a metaphorical version of that creature. The best response will be a metaphorical version of a swift, simple jab delivered with matter-of-fact courage.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

In public restrooms everywhere, a new kind of sign has appeared in recent years. It says, "Janitors will no longer remove graffiti from the walls." I urge you to find such a place in the coming week, Pisces, because it's there, surrounded by a wealth of vulgar, cracked, and populist wisdom, that you will get the precise revelation you need to make the right decision; it's there you will see the exact writing on the wall that cuts to the heart of your confusion and breaks open an epiphany. You might also stumble upon other useful information in equally shabby environments. For a limited time only, divine reminders will come in unexpected forms.

3"#+'&-,"*4&5 6

32 "Get your hands off me!"

33 Clear 36 Unlike states where Kerry won 39 Color in Cherbourg 40 Double-checked 42 Dessert in a mold 43 It may lead to a full-time position 45 Kaczynski serving a life sentence 47 Big shot's big wheels 49 Set ___ for (plan on) 51 Bronx and San Diego, for two 52 One of a deadly seven 54 Western tribe 55 Mah-jongg piece 56 Greenspan's subj.

57 Russo who played Natasha in a Rocky & Bullwinkle movie 60 Gold, to some treasure hunters 61 Magazine that features a "Fold-In” Answers on pg. 3

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

16 â&#x20AC;˘ b u z z w e e k l y

AU G . 11

HEREâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S JOHNNY!

â&#x20AC;˘

1 7 , 2 OO5

To say that

DUKES OF HAZZARD MUST LOVE DOGS (PGĂą 13) Fri. 1:45 4:45 7:10 9:30 11:40 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:45 4:45 7:10 9:30 Sat. 11:15 1:45 4:45 7:10 9:30 11:40 SKY HIGH (PG) Fri. 1:55 4:25 7:15 9:40 11:55 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:55 4:25 7:15 9:40 Sat. 11:30 1:55 4:25 7:15 9:40 11:55 â&#x2014;&#x2020; DEUCE BIGALOW (R) Fri. 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:15 9:20 11:35 Sat. 11:00 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:15 9:20 11:35 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:15 9:20 FOUR BROTHERS (R) Fri. 1:40 4:15 7:05 9:35 12:05 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:40 4:15 7:05 9:35 Sat. 11:15 1:40 4:15 7:05 9:35 12:05 BAD NEWS BEARS (PGĂą 13) Fri. 1:30 4:00 7:05 9:35 12:05 Sat. 11:00 1:30 4:00 7:05 9:35 12:05 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:30 4:00 7:05 9:35 BATMAN BEGINS (PGĂą 13) Fri. & Sat. 1:10 4:05 7:00 9:50 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:10 4:05 7:00 9:50 MARCHâ&#x2030; PENGUINS (G) Fri. 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 9:30 11:30 Sat. 11:30 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 9:30 11:30 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 9:30

DAVID JUST â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

T

he Dukes of Hazzard is like a live action cartoon. Nothing seems to be quite real and the characters are immune to the consequences of their actions.This is not the filmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s flaw, or a flaw at all really. No, the filmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s flaw is simply that it isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t funny or entertaining.

The movie, directed by Jay Chandrasekhar (Super Troopers, Club Dread), follows two cousins, Bo and Luke Duke (Seann William Scott, Johnny Knoxville) who are â&#x20AC;&#x153;closer than brothers.â&#x20AC;? Considering the circumstances, Bo is probably Johnnyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cousin, brother, father, and nephew. The film doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t extend into such detail, though. In fact, details of any kind are mostly exempt. Details like:Who are these people? What are they doing?

Why do we care?

Basically, Boss Hogg (Burt Reynolds), who somehow owns the town and the police, wants to turn Hazard County into a coal mine. But Bo and Luke, with the help of another cousin, Daisy Duke (Jessica Simpson), Uncle Jesse (Willie Nelson), and General Lee, their Dodge Charger with the Confederate Flag emblazoned on the roof, take the law into their own hands to

many calories is like saying that the only cause of the

stop them. If the film had stuck purely to the Southern humor found in Uncle Jesseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s joke â&#x20AC;&#x153;Why are divorces so expensive? â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Cause theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re worth it!,â&#x20AC;? the film may have succeeded.

An item from the Hazzard County Road Rally called â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hillbilly wind chimesâ&#x20AC;? that consists of four strings with empty beer cans tied to the end is also a nice touch.

Considering Jessica Simpson is the filmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s main attraction, it is surprising how brief her scenes are, and how infre- DUKES OF HAZZARD â&#x20AC;˘ JESSICA SIMPSON quently she is used in the film.

She is perhaps the main reason this film is rest of The Dukes of Hazzard. Outtakes from going to generate a big audience, or any Sophieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Choice and Philadelphia were probaaudience at all. But throughout the film, bly funnier than these.

Simpson is brushed aside in favor of Bo, The Dukes of Hazard fits right in with Luke, and their girlfriends, and brought in the rest of the remakes and retreads only for a moment at a time to flaunt her Hollywood has spit out this summer. cleavage. Thus, even the audience the film Whoever thought weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d get to the point is targeting is going to be disappointed by where we were making sequels of remakes, what the film offers. or remakes of sequels? Dukes is not stupid The film became an even bigger disap- enough to be funny, and thus, not funny pointment during the credits. Outtakes enough to be good. I spent the first half from the filming rolled, which can normal- trying to figure out what was going on, ly be the redeeming quality of even terrible and the second half trying to figure out films. But, alas, they were as unfunny as the why I cared in the first place.

American Revolution was the !"#$"%& '()& *)+$,. !"#$$#%&'()*%+%!,#-).'/%012-)2)3/)*2%'/"%4-)2#-

iPOWER: RESHAPING C-Uâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S WOMEN AND CHILDREN

WARNER BROTHERS

CHARLIE & CHOCOLATE (PG) Fri. 1:00 1:30 4:00 4:30 7:00 9:35 12:00 Sat. 11:00 1:00 1:30 4:00 4:30 7:00 9:35 12:00 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:00 1:30 4:00 4:30 7:00 9:35 WEDDING CRASHERS (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:20 4:15 7:00 7:10 9:30 9:50 12:00 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:20 4:15 7:00 7:10 9:30 9:50 WAR OF WORLDS (PGĂą 13) Fri. 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:40 12:15 Sat. 11:15 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:40 12:15 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:40 STEALTH (PGĂą 13) Fri. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:55 FANTASTIC FOUR (PGĂą 13) Fri. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:45 12:00 Sat. 11:00 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:45 12:00 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:45 THE ISLAND (PGĂą 13) Fri. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:00 10:00 DUKES OF HAZZARD (PGĂą 13) Fri. 1:00 1:30 1:45 3:25 4:15 4:30 5:50 7:00 7:15 8:15 9:30 9:45 10:40 12:00 Sat. 11:15 1:00 1:30 1:45 3:25 4:15 4:30 5:50 7:00 7:15 8:15 9:30 9:45 10:40 12:00 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:00 1:30 1:45 3:25 4:15 4:30 5:50 7:00 7:15 8:15 9:30 9:45 SKELETON KEY (PGĂą 13) Fri. 1:55 4:30 7:10 9:40 12:05 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:55 4:30 7:10 9:40 Sat. 11:10 1:55 4:30 7:10 9:40 12:05

ERIN SCOTTBERG â&#x20AC;˘ AROUND TOWN EDITOR

W Dukes is not stupid enough to be funny, and thus, not funny enough to be good

Showtimes for 8/12 thru 8/18

3!6/9 WWW SAVOY COM

!,, $)')4!, 34%2%/ ./ 0!33%3

&),-

&REE DRINK REFILLS ` CORN REFILLS

3 4! $ ) 5 - 3 % !4 ) . '

3(/74)-%3 3HOWTIMES

4)-%3 !.$ 4)4,%3 35"*%#4 4/ #(!.'% $%5#% ")'!,/7 %52/0%!. ')'/,/ 2

&2) 3!4 ,3

&/52 "2/4(%23 2

&2) 3!4 ,3

3+%,%4/. +%9 0'

&2) 3!4 ,3 $5+%3 /& (!::!2$ 0'

&2) 3!4 ,3

34%!,4( 0'

3+9 ()'( 0'

&2) 3!4 ,3 -534 ,/6% $/'3 0'

&2) 3!4 ,3 $%6), 3 2%*%#43 0'

&2) 3!4 ,3 4(% )3,!.$ 0'

(534,% !.$ &,/7 2

&2) 3!4 ,3 #(!2,)% !.$ 4(% #(/#/,!4% &!#4/29 0'

7%$$).' #2!3(%23 2

&2) 3!4 ,3 &!.4!34)# &/52 0'

!"#$%&

the weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s top

BOX OFFICE

1. The Dukes of Hazzard ($30.7M) 2. Wedding Crashers ($16 M) 3. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ($11M) 4. Sky High ($9M) 5. Must Love Dogs ($7.4M) 6. March of the Penguins ($7.1M) 7. Stealth ($5.9M) 8. Fantastic Four ($4.3M) 9. War of the Worlds ($3.5M) 10. The Island ($3.1M)

PHOTOS â&#x20AC;˘ DAVOD SOLANA

2OUTE "URWASH !VE

#/50/.

/: $2).+

WITH PURCHASE OF OZ BAG OF BUTTERY POPCORN

!"##$%&'()*+,")+

11-year-old Haley Lister plays Dance Dance Revolution at the grand opening of iPower.

ONE PER AD 3AVOY %XP 3%04 $)

"%34 $%!, IN H.EWSLETTER AT WWW SAVOY COM

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

obesity is caused by merely consuming too

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

ith over 90 million Sony PlayStation 2â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s around the world, most kids can tell you more about their favorite video game than the park around the corner. Kids are spending more time on their couch and less time on their bike.

Parents, worried for their childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s safety, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t allow them to play outside as often. Physical education programs in public schools are losing needed resources due to lack of funding.

Obesity in children is on the rise.

The American Obesity Association reports that the number of obese children has quadrupled in the last 25 yearsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;approximately 30.3 percent of children ages 6-11 are now overweight.

Realizing the need to combat this trend, a new fitness center opened its doors in Champaign. iPower, located at 1612 S. Neil St., is designed to help women and children achieve their fitness goals, whether they are losing weight, gaining muscle or simply learning to live healthier. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Everywhere we looked we ran into the child obesity issue and we decided to go ahead and tackle that since no one else is,â&#x20AC;? says general manager Darnell Cox. There are few women with as much zest as iPower founder and part owner Sharlyne Powell.

With an impressive resume in the fitness industry, including a series of at-home fitness tapes, 65-year-old Powell understands the lifestyle of the people she hopes to see in her gym.

For 23 years, Powell ran her own nationwide franchise of fitness centers for plus size women called Women at Large. Being a bigger woman herself, Powell understood the frustration of working out in a gym full of slim women and muscular men. She wanted to create a positive environment where women could feel comfortable working out. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The beautiful thing about it was that women like me really wanted to exercise,â&#x20AC;? Powell says.

After a colleague approached her with the idea to create the same type of fitness resource for children, Powell began making iPower a reality. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We wanted top of the line fitness equipment, top of the line testing equipment and things that are unique for fitness for kids. Then we decided to expand it to help women too,â&#x20AC;? says Powell.

The decision to include women in addition to children stems from the idea that a childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s eating and fitness patterns develop from their parentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; example.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Parents donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know what to teach their children about their eating habits because they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know themselves,â&#x20AC;? says India Boodram, iPower staff member.

Unlike your average gym, iPower is tailored to their youth members. The white weight machines, color-coded in red, blue and yellow depending on function, come in two sizes: child and adult. This makes it possible for mother and child to workout side-by-side where as in most gyms, the equipment is too big for children to use safely. Since only eight members are allowed in the gym at a time, everyone is guaranteed the personal attention and instruction needed to ensure results. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We always have you work with a personal trainer because we want to gaurantee results. A lot of people can go into a workout facility and get the tour once, but then not use [the machines] in the right way,â&#x20AC;? says administrative director Heidi Thompson. iPower is exclusively for boys ages 8-17 years old and girls ages 8 years old and up. If men were allowed, says Thompson, it would discourage women from working out because they become very self-conscience in the presence of male patrons. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I know we do have male personal trainers, but theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re helping you, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re at a different level.

Another man working out is competition,â&#x20AC;?

Thompson says.

For kids, working out at iPower doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even seem like exercising. Rather than let video games contribute to childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s health problems, iPower has embraced them as a means to fitness.

On one side of the gym, eight GameBike Pro stationary bicycles connected to PlayStation 2 counsels sit in front of two big screen TVs. Kids (and adults too) can compete in games completely controlled by their body movementsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the handlebars change direction and pedal speed dictates character speed. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Technology is moving very, very rapidly as far as fitness for kids. It puts kids onto exercise they understand,â&#x20AC;? says Powell.

Along with the bikes, iPower also has Dance Dance Revolution, a video game that requires players to dance, jump and twist to music according to onscreen directions, and interactive blowing, tennis and baseball games. In the near future, iPower will also feature a virtual reality game that puts the user in the middle of the action.

Haley Lister spent almost half an hour showing off her skills on the DDR pads at iPowerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s grand

C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

6

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

HE CAN’T BE THAT WEIRD, HE’S WEARING NIKES.

AU G . 11

•

1 7 , 2 OO5

5

it will for gobs of other women,” says Thompson, sharing the mindset of many females just beginning exercise routines.

Once a goal is set, a personal trainer and a dietician work together to design a nutrition and fitness plan to get each user to their ideal body shape. Other factors that might effect progress, such as smoking, eating habits and family medical history, are also kept in mind during the process. When all things are considered, iPower is able to give an exact date saying when, if everything is followed, the user will achieve the results she wants.

“We can’t know what to do with you or what your needs are until we know this stuff—it takes the guess work out,” says iPower staff member India Boodram. iPower likes to see each member in the gym at least three times a week, but they also understand that for some people, it might not be possible—if people always ate healthy and worked out regularly, there would be no need for a center like iPower.

That’s why staffers ask realistic questions like “How many days a week do you really plan to work out,” and “Is there going to be a few days a week when you won’t want to stick to your diet?” As Thompson says, iPower allows cheat days.

“I always tell people ‘every once in a while you can rock the boat, just don’t jump off ’,” says Cox.

T

Todd Lawler, STRIVE Smart Strength representative, explains the purpose of equipment during I-Power's grand opening. opening. Even at 11 years old, Lister understands the importance of physical activity.

“You’re not just sitting down like you would on a PS2—you can exercise while having fun,” Lister says.

Her mother, Deb Lister, only allows Haley to play games that require some sort of physical movement.

“DDR gets her moving, she loves it, she’s working out, but it’s not coming from that kind of mindset,” says Mrs. Lister, who also likes the idea of a gym where she can workout alongside Haley.“She can come to the gym with me, she can work on the equipment.This is a great idea to get kids moving.”

At iPower’s grand opening, Powell, dressed in a fuchsia and

black nylon sweat suit, gave tours of the facility and explained iPower’s mission to provide complete fitness and nutritional counseling. She walked from machine to machine, explaining how it works and what purpose it serves to curious families.

“We like to call this Sam the Snorkel,” she laughs, displaying a tall, slender machine with the style of one of Barker’s Beauties.

Sam the Snorkel is actually a biometric scale, called BioMeasure, that iPower uses as the first step in their nine point fitness examination required of all members.

BioMeasure, which another staff member called “a giant electric toothbrush,” records a user’s height, weight and body mass index and saves it on a wallet-sized SmartCard. Each iPower member receives her own SmartCard, which can store up to 100 readings. After every use, the BioMeasure prints out a receipt listing today’s results along with those of the last 10 uses. This way, the cardholder can monitor any improvements or setback from their last measurements.

“Of course, it’s all very private. It has to be. If you’re a fanatic about that kind of thing—I am—it’s important to know. I supposed if I was a size six, I’d say ‘Let everyone see!’” says Powell, adding that all the windows in the building are tinted to keep people from looking in. iPower’s nine-point fitness test is the first step in helping their patrons achieve their goals. Besides BioMeasure, iPower’s testing

•

1 7 , 2 OO5

buzz weekly •

REDRUM, REDRUM, REDRUM...

15

BROKEN FLOWERS

iPOWER C O N T I N U E D F RO M PA G E

AU G . 11

o compliment iPower’s fitness center, the other side of the building houses Nutrition @Work, a nutritional supplement store complete with drive-through window for quick access to any item in the store.

Nutrition @Work offers a variety of protein shakes, vitamin smoothies and other healthy alternatives at prices comparable to a fast food meal. Patrons can put in a standing order to have their favorite item ready for pick-up at the window at the same time everyday. Orders can also be made online and picked up later.

Even with all the resources iPower and Nutrition @Work offer women and children, the choice is to live a healthier life must be made outside the gym doors as well.

“It’s going to have to become a combined effort to really watch out for the children.We can bring a kid in here, train him and teach him about nutrition, but when they go home, we can’t control that,” says Cox. The staff at iPower knows what it’s like to be in their member’s shoes and they’re ready to help turn things around.

As Thompson puts it, “We want people to lose weight in a healthy way, even if it takes four years. This is one of the only fields of work that you can actually help someone in the long run.

All of us have such a passion for people, we just want to help.” buzz

PAUL PRIKAZSKY • LEAD REVIEWER

A

n unlikely bond was forged when indie director Jim Jarmusch and comedic god Bill Murray joined forces.

Renowned for his infamously low budgets and meandering narrative structure, Jarmusch has consistently worked outside the Hollywood bubble, insisting on creative freedom and barnstorming the film festival circuit. On the other hand, Murray once was a box office behemoth, known strictly for his comedic prowess, until recently gaining recognition for his dramatic work.

Would it be a match made in heaven? Or the worst combo since Britney Spears and reality TV? The two may be on opposite sides of the film spectrum, but their mutual taste in stone-faced humor makes the Jarmusch/Murray pairing one filled with golden possibilities.

Don Johnston’s (Bill Murray) latest girlfriend, Sherry (Julie Delpy), has just left him. He is left with nothing to do but sulk and watch TV all day, when something radical slips through his mail slot. He receives a pink, type-written letter which reveals he has a son. The letter is anonymous and though Don pretends he doesn’t care, the thought of fatherhood scares the hell out of him.

With the encouragement of mystery aficionado, Winston (Jeffrey Wright), Don reluctantly embarks on a journey to discover if he truly has a son or if someone’s messing with him. Don visits his former flames (Sharon Stone, Frances Conroy, Jessica Lange and Tilda Swinton) looking for some clue—namely a type-writer and pink stationary—to see if his son actually exists.As the over-thehill Don Juan floats through the panorama of American

back roads and airports, he is forced to reexamine his life of womanizing and perpetual solitude.

Jarmusch is the undisputed master of the road-movie, wherein a lost soul traverses the path of discovery to achieve a greater self-understanding. He’s delivered variations of the ideas and characters he created in Broken Flowers with his neo-Western, Dead Man and the indie touchstone, Stranger than Paradise. Jarmusch’s story—simplistic and melancholy— is somewhat of a rarity in Hollywood these days. Instead of churning out another remake or bland comic book adaptation, the maverick filmmaker has crafted a wonderfully heartfelt misadventure.

Greatness was so close in this film, it could be tasted.

I guess Jarmusch just didn’t like the taste. His fiercely independent style seems like the stubborn work of a juvenile film student. He uses static camera shots which are visually uninteresting and the editing is lackadaisical at best.

On the other hand, the writing and direction are in top form. A funny movie that doesn’t try too hard to be funny is indeed a rarity in Hollywood.The quartet of actresses that portray Don’s former flames ignite the screen with a warmth and exuberance unmatched in their previous roles.

Broken Flowers has a very subtle sense of humor. It kind of sneaks up on you when you least expect it. And if you blink too soon, you’ll probably miss it. It has enough quirk and charm to be funny, but not knee-slappingly so. Murray has opted to play out his deadpan comedic sensibilities instead of milking his character for cheap laughs. Don Johnston may not be as well-developed as Herman Blume (another Murray creation) from Rushmore, but it’s a testament to Murray’s maturity as an actor to deal with increasingly dramatic subject matter and still make the audience smile.

BROKEN FLOWERS • BILL MURRAY

Murray drifts through Broken Flowers in an emotionless haze. He portrays Don as an exhausted bachelor, trying to move forward with his lonely life and disregard problems from the past. Likewise, it’s fitting that Murray seems tired of his younger, goofier persona from Caddyshack and Stripes and has evolved into a wizened actor, fully aware of his comic gifts.

Broken Flowers won the Grand Prize at the Cannes Film Festival, which it justly deserved. A film that relies solely on story and its characters is always a cause for celebration.

Even though the mundane atmosphere bogs down the unique film, the substance outweighs its style. Don Johnston is a womanizer—essentially not a very likable guy, but Murray imbues a certain indescribable quality in him that makes him likable. And let’s face it; Bill Murray could make reading the paper hilarious.

WWW.BROKENFLOWERS.COM

6 • buzz weekly

Greatness was so close in this film, it could be tasted.

room is equipped with state-of-the art technology to help the staff pinpoint the best—meaning safest and most realistic—way to achieve results. This includes finding your resting metabolic heart rate, which shows exactly how many calories your body needs, and completing a treadmill test to see what your body can handle.

“The testing facility allows us to fingerprint the needs of the individual. We can figure out where they are now as opposed to where they want to be,” says Cox. From here, all the information is entered into the Virtual Fitness Planner, a computer application that creates a shockingly realistic 3-D image of your body. Users can adjust their model to be a more accurate representation of their body by adding fat or muscle where needed. While some might feel they carry more weight in the middle, others see it in their lower body. Some may feel that their thighs are thicker, but their upper body is all muscle. Everything is adjustable.

Next,the user designs another figure depicting what they want their body to look like. Combining all the dats, the iPower staff is able to determine a safe rate of weight loss that is completely attainable without compromising one’s health. Everything is done with the member’s safety in mind.

For visual thinkers, seeing an image of their current body shape side-by-side with an ideal but realistic figure is the best motivation imaginable. Users can even have the pictures printed out to hold on to—good for some people who want to stick it to the fridge or keep close at hand.

“I’m such a visual person, I need instant gratification. If I can see a before and after, I say, ‘Oh my gosh, I want to look like that!’

It really motivates me and I’m sure I-Power founder Sharlyne Powell demonstrates a biometric measuring machine at the facility's grand opening.

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

I© m sorry Dave, I© m afraid I can© t do that.

YOU ARE THE MUSIC WHILE THE MUSIC LASTS. - t.s. eliot

!"#$%$&''()$"$*+",-$./0**-0

A NEW FACE AT THE COURTYARD KYLE GORMAN • MUSIC EDITOR

TIM PETERS • STAFF WRITER

I

t was summertime stop-and-go traffic on the inbound lane to Chicago. The windows were shut, the air conditioning made everyone forget the gray haze and simmering heat of the highway.

Once downtown, dwarfed by towering tributes to commerce and technology, we raced into the parking garage and then back out, on foot. Winding through the anonymous masses on the sidewalks and streets, the hustling herds marching from work to play - or play to work, we reached the cinema, the Gene Siskel Film Center on State Street.

Indoors, amidst the cold, filtered air and tidy, postmodern décor, we bought our tickets and headed into the darkness of the theater. Our eyes stubbornly adapted to the low light as we peered for seats through the packed aisles. The stark, profound and deep title card loomed behind us: “The Dawn of Man”.

In this summer of 2005, a movie about a bygone future, a film famous for its abstraction and grace, 2001: A Space Odyssey, was still filling the seats.

The Siskel Film Center typically designs its schedules around monthly themes. Many of these involve broad topics: Hungarian Cinema, Music Movies, The Black Harvest Festival, to name a few. However, this July and into August, the theater chose a much more specific subject: “Stanley Kubrick: American Master”.

The retrospective included thirteen films, all shown with 35mm prints. The range of the works started with the 1955 Killers Kiss, a black-and-white noir crime thriller, and spanned all the way to 1999’s darkly erotic Eyes Wide Shut and the 2001, Spielberg-directed and Kubrick-conceived A.I. Artificial Intelligence.

For most college-aged students today, Kubrick’s films have always had a place in the American cinematic canon. The only Kubrick-created films to be released within the past 15 years were Eyes Wide Shut and A.I. Artificial Intelligence. It was thus a unique experience to watch some of his films on the silver screen, amongst a theatre audience. It also provided an opportunity to reflect why this director is worthy of a designation like “master”.

Kubrick began his career in the visual arts with photography. The New York-raised youth had already sold a picture to Look magazine before graduating high school. He went to work for Look and traveled within the U.S. and abroad as a photographer.

At one point, as a Chicago Tribune article pointed out earlier this summer, Kubrick was assigned to photograph a story about the Windy City. The text was written by the legendary Sun-Times columnist Irv Kupcinet, entitled, tritely enough, “Chicago: City of Contrasts”. The black-and-white imagery is a harbinger of the look of his early films like The Killing, Paths of Glory, and Dr. Strangelove.

Within the photos, there is a dichoto-

mous presentation of Chicagoans. In some pictures, we see themes of urban alienation and anonymity via shadowy crowds, backlit by bright lights and surrounded by mechanized technology. However, other shots depict well-lit faces, painted with emotive expressions.

These photographs, still available online, are microcosmic of Kubrick’s skill: the novel visual expression of fascinating narratives and sophisticated ideas.

Most of Kubrick’s movies were based off novels. His films, not surprisingly, are literature-in-motion. They unfold like the vivid imagery of one’s imagination while reading a story.

The look of a Kubrick film is a confluence of abstract ideas and manifest emotions. The lighting, camera angles, movement, mise en scéne and editing all cohere as one to create lasting, powerful scenes and moments.

This is evidenced by a quick look for a Stanley Kubrick-related poster. Rather than just the

stock movie print, many a Kubrick poster will be an unlabeled still, nothing more than what was displayed onscreen. Within the dynamic medium of film, the finicky director could forge single instances of profundity and beauty; in one image express the ideas of the whole work.

Thematically, his films have been meditations on a mélange of topics. From the dehumanization of man via technology, to the criminal and free will, to the indulgences of the leisure class, and more, nothing has proven too abstruse as subject matter.

Beyond just presenting these heavy ideas, Kubrick has often used his work to loudly express his opinions. Dr. Strangelove is a fierce comedic satire of war games and Cold War politics.

While in A Clockwork Orange, Kubrick filmed an ending in strong contrast to novelist Anthony Burgess’ original conclusion of the source novel. As could be expected, Kubrick’s finish to the story spun a rather different message about criminality, reform, and free choice.

His creations often pushed the boundaries of propriety and comfort. The most famous example, again, A Clockwork Orange, received an X rating and was banned in multiple countries due to its graphic and somewhat sardonic rape scenes.

In its own way, and as “Stanley Kubrick: American Master” so displayed, 2001: A Space Odyssey still tests the limits of audience patience. The so-called space opera features scenes that, well, drag on, and on, and on. But not only do the scenes stretch on in time, they often do so in total silence. Such a style was used in order to mimic, probably to just a small degree, the requisite exactitude and numbing boredom of life in space.

The viewing experience is much altered when sitting in a crowded theater. The muted sequences cause the slightest noise: shifting one’s position, coughing, or, personally, dropping a Skittle on the floor, to almost jarringly disrupt the film.

However, this social element, a collective gathering for the enjoyment of art, is a vital juxtaposition to 2001’s vast loneliness and sterile isolation.

Kubrick was facilitating in that he was granted creative control and generous big studio funding for the better part of his career. Though his output was small compared to most well-known directors, it is clear he paid attention to fine details and nuances. His films nearly overflow with content: unforgettable imagery, intelligent ideas, and, most evidently, the affective characters and narratives. buzz

ILLUSTRATION • OBUMNEME ASOTA

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

I

n the ‘90s, what was once an outdoor space in the Illini Union was enclosed, and the Courtyard Cafe (now simply the “Courtyard”) was born. The Courtyard has since become an often-exciting venue for music lovers, hosting show by acts such as Bright Eyes,The City On Film, and Ted Leo and The Pharmacists, in addition to regular cultural programming.

Managing the venue (a role which includes booking all the events) is a common thread for important local voices, including Heather Zydek (Joyful Sorrow, Isidore Records), John Hoeffleur (The Beauty Shop) and Brian Mertz (AKA DJ Mertz). Jessica Horn, 25, hopes to build on past successes of others in her role as the Courtyard manager.

Arriving in Champaign in 1998, Horn completed her undergraduate degree in Economics and Political science, and after a brief stint working for the United Way in Kankakee, she has returned to study for her M.A. in African Studies, not to mention what Jessica Horn onstage at the Courtyard Cafe. she accurately describes as ChampaignUrbana’s unique ability to host “larger acts at smaller venues She describes it the Courtyard as “a hub for students and the for less amounts of money,” in comparison with other towns. University committee to come to on different nights: they can Her skills in details honed at an office position with the see different types of entertainment whether or not it’s their United Way, this “just a fan” became more than a fan when she peers and other students performing for them…or a competitive had the opportunity to book her first-ever show, featuring a venue with the bars in town.”

A more-reasonable age-limit, earlier curtain times, and the popular CU rock band.

“I booked one show in Kankakee for the Young Democrats fresh air and bright lights of the space itself distinguish the of Kankakee County – I did a fundraising show – and actually Courtyard from what it’s designed to combat – the persuasive Shipwreck came up.” Equally comfortable in the large 1950s influence of bar culture in town. Though it doesn’t look like a union hall and in a cozy Mexican bar downstairs, Shipwreck was normal club nor does it exhibit many of the fixtures of a concert the perfect fit for the benefit, and a tribute to Jessica’s latent abil- venue, Jessica casts that in a positive light.

“When you’re coming here, you’re coming here for the ities. She is an obvious fit for the Courtyard: not only is she familiar with the club-like entertainment she’s to book on the bands, you’re coming here for the music.”

Jessica has also invested time working with booking agents weekends (Thursday through Saturday), she also has a first-hand knowledge of the cultural programming and culturally oriented around town to help create a “unified front” for ChampaignRegistered Organizations (ROs) the Courtyard hosts on week- Urbana, making the statement that this town is a worthwhile, if days as a result of her experiences in Women’s Studies and a posi- not essential, stop for upcoming bands who want to hit it big.

Unlike those other booking agents, though, Jessica isn’t solely tion at the Study Abroad office.

Bob Conrad, the Multimedia Dept. manager for the Illini responsible for generating ticket sales to compensate for concert Union, who oversees the Courtyard’s operations, says that the expenses (the Courtyard works off a yearly budget for programCourtyard was born out of the Illini Union’s hopes to provide ming and performances), but rather she’s charged with opening the hearts and minds of students to the unique cultural opportucultural simulation befitting the University.

“Part of the reason for creating the space was to create a space nities that exist in Champaign-Urbana.

“The income that comes in is not connected to our budget,” on campus where we can do quality entertainment comperable to what students are able to see at the local clubs and bars but in she says. This means that her role is less Bill Graham and more an alcohol free and smoke-free atmosphere,” explained Conrad. curator, and she takes her “arbiter of culture” function seriously, Jessica mentions the community element of the Courtyard, appreciating how critical the transition between high school and where students can learn from their peers as well as national stars. college can be for one’s sense of aesthetics.

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

“College is really the time that a lot of students are figuring out who they are, what their interests are, kind of nailing those things down about their personalities without, sort of, the heavy or light hand of their parents, and so this is a time they’re able to explore a lot of opportunities. Maybe they’ve always wanted to learn how to tango, always wanted to hear jazz music, or hip-hop music, or really great indie rock, and we’re hear to provide that to them as a service...they can go here any night of the week and have great entertainment.”

Planning for the upcoming year has progressed rapidly, with over a dozen shows already announced.

Every Monday this year, Spicy Clamato and DeBono will be perfoming improv comedy, and Tuesday might be home to UC HipHop’s b-boys and girls teaching and practicing break-dancing. On the weekends, Horn will be highlighting the best and the upcoming in area and national music, all on the University’s dollar, with affordable ticket prices, and in a smokeand alcohol-free environment.

“I’m trying to put local bands on all the nights of music, as well as having a lot of Chicgo and other regional acts coming in...as well as having touring bands coming through.”

You can expect to hear some mind-expanding performances this year: Headphones, a side project of Pedro The Lion, Fatlip (of Pharcyde), and other newer acts are going to be featured.

Much like the ones Jessica saw as an undergraduate, listeners can expect shows to be learning experiences.

“What I remember, coming here, is I wouldn’t necessarily know all the bands (I’m 19 and I’m learning about all the music) and being able to come to Courtyard...it was kind of one of those places that I was able to explore and really kind of hone in on my own musical taste.”

“I wanted to book music I wanted to see,” Horn explains, adding that she also wants to bring in acts the University community will enjoy. It’s reasonable to assume that this means vital and exciting performances will be the norm at this year’s Courtyard. buzz PHOTO • DAVID SOLANA

STANLEY KUBRICK: THE EYE OF AN ARTIST

The first concert at the Courtyard this year is Ireland’s Dudley Corporation on Thursday, Aug. 25th, followed by Headphones (with local opener Headlights) on the following Saturday.

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

!"#$%

sound ground #88

ARE YOU READY TO TALK ABOUT BREASTS AGAIN.

this week in music

TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

A

z e r b a i j a n i - A m e r i c a n studio tr io Foreign Accent has developed its 2004 demo Pardon My French into an album already available at Borders and Record Swap.

“Foreign Accent’s music, though deeply rooted in the American musical idiom and harking back to the classic rock and pop of the 1970s, contains a plethora of exotic spices and unexpected twists and turns.”

Although no release show is scheduled, more information is available at foreign-accent.com. Foreign Accent is Djavid Novrouzov and Robert Howerton (Illinois) and William Frenkel (New York).

Thursday, Angie Heaton returns to Arôma for a free show at 8 p.m. Afterward,The Chemicals and Scurvine rock out at Brass Rail.The Chemicals are at work on a debut EP at Studio G with Justin Hedrick of The Respondent. Saturday in the beer garden at Mike ‘n Molly’s, The Respondent (ex-The Frame) headlines with heavy new quartet Below Eden and Stood Up. Show time is 10 p.m., and cover is $4.

Sunday, Cowboy Monkey spotlights six acoustic acts for its second Best of Open Mic Showcase:

c

d

r

e

Darrin Drda’s Theory of Everything, Doxy, Brandon T. Washington, Mike Ingram, C. King, and Joanna Michal. Show time is 9:30 p.m., and cover is $5. Also Sunday at 9:30 p.m., Tommy G’s Bar and Grill hosts Sick Day, Black Light Rebels, and Heavy Handed.

This show is free.

Tuesday at Cowboy Monkey, Triple Whip plays with Ume, The Narrator, and FireFlies. Show time is 9 p.m., and cover is $5. Wednesday at The Canopy Club, Pulsar47 aligns with Iowans, 7 Inch Wave and Marah Mar. This is the last spate of 7 Inch Wave shows for a while because Danomatika (Dan Wilcox) got into grad school in Sweden.

Show time is 9 p.m., and cover is $5.

Correction: Elsinore visits August 15 for WEFT Sessions and August 18 for Acoustic @ Arôma. In Sound Ground #86, the two were transposed.

Todd J. Hunter hosts WEFT Sessions and Champaign Local 901, two hours of live local music every Monday night at 10 p.m. on 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com.

v

i

e

AU G . 11

•

1 7 , 2 OO5

THE HURLYBURLY

Chicago power-pop favorites OK Go recently released details about their new album, “Oh No,” due out August 30. Lead singer, Damian Kulash, describes the album: “Our first record was basically a studio project; we wanted it to be gleaming and shameless and plastic and hooky and happy. This time around we tried to leave a little more space. We left more grit and applied less polish.” As excited as we are about this, we are not excited about the fact that they will tour with Chicagoan labelmates, The Redwalls, and completely skip over the windy city-Diss!

Neptunes producer, Pharell Williams, recently worked with the son of “Growing Pains” star Alan Thicke, according to MTV News. U2 lead singer, Bono, suggested the pair make a record together, one that ended up being the first single, called “Wanna Love you Girl”. Pharell describes the song: “This record, you put it on with your girl, it’s a wrap. She’s naked.” Gotta love those “getting the ladies naked” songs. Men, take notes.

A photographer was shot in the leg with a pellet gun outside MOMENT OF THE WEEK the home of Britney Spears on Saturday evening, according to Yahoo!News and authorities. The deathly assassin is unknown at this point, but an officer said, “It could’ve been somebody driving by, walking by, we have no idea where it came from.” says Lt. Steve.

w H at tH e He L L?

AU G . 11

•

1 7 , 2 OO5

13

ar tist’s corner

&'()*+,-)#,)

Sven went to College at Trinity in Palos Heights, IL where he majored in Studio Art with a focus on Sculpture and Photography, and General Music with a focus on Composition. After graduating in 1999, He came to Champaign to pursue other interests. It wasn’t until 2004 that he would begin to work again with painting. He has had a few shows in the downtown area in the last year. Starting in September he has a 4 month show at the Savoy Recreational Center.

strung all over the walls and ceiling of the gallery, connected to several motion detectors set on an 8 second timer so as people walked through the gallery the area around them would light up. On the floor of the gallery was a silhouette of a tree made out of gravel. It was a really cool piece that I did during exam week. Students would come in and study in the gallery on the floor because it was so relaxing. I don’t know if it was the greatest piece that I ever did but it seemed to connect with the most people.

What piece are you most proud of and why?

Forms of Beauty, this was a piece that I did while I was in college. This piece consisted of 3,000 white Christmas lights

What inspires you?

It is everyday things; the interaction of everyday objects and shapes. I love to feel like a moment of emotion takes over and I lose a part of me to the moment. I am a person that likes to feel like I am empowered by my own emotion. It is the everyday things that have this true quality, it is the usual everyday things that seem unobserved and taken for granted.

What is your favorite quote?

w

“And then, something happened. I let go.

Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom.” – Narrator, Fight Club

Theory of Everything ’Evolution of the ’Art

Who have you been influenced by?

(Independent)

Recently I have been listening to Bright Eyes, the words and vocals are so honest I want to emulate that honesty in my own work. Really in a sense I would like to create images that mean something to me instead of creating something just for the masses, hopefully by maintaining the honesty in my work it will have more meaning to those that appreciate my work.

BY SUSAN SCHOMBURG

If you’re looking for good, clean, non-partisan rock,Theory of Everything is definitely not the band for you. If, however, you like a shifting palette of tonal colors and musical styles complementing clear, politically conscious lyrics, you might just like them.

The local band, fronted by local scenester and open-mic star Darrin Drda, who describes their sound as “space folk,” has recently completed a self-released album,“Evolution of the ’Art”.

The use of wind instruments on the album’s rollicking opener, “Deathmobile,” a sardonic tribute to SUVs, as well as on the selfexplanatory “Democrazy!” provides a nice contrast in timbre from some of the slower songs, which feature the more delicate flute and glockenspiel. The album’s title track, “(r)Evolution of the (he)Art,” is reminiscent of a slow groove song of the sort that Traffic did so well, and contains an almost mantra-like chant,“The heart is a muscle the size of your fist/You’ve got to keep loving, rise up and resist,” which would be really cool live, but which (perhaps) goes on a bit too long on the recording.

The disco-tinged guitar and thumping bass counterpoint on “Never Gonna Buy It” provides a beat that gets under the skin, and the almost-too-perky “Hug A Republican” not only has some of the funniest lyrics on the album, but invites the listener to join in the music-making. The group also plays a track that can only be described as amplified country music on speed (“Wait and See”), and the vocals-if a description is really necessary-especially on “Note to Self,” sound not unlike Ben Folds with a mild reverb effect.

All in all, there is not a bad song on the album and like Theory of Everything’s live shows—is definitely worth the price of admission.

What mediums have you worked with outside of painting?

In college when I had a gallery to work with, I was able to

create installations in the gallery. My installations utilized rocks, paint, dictionary pages, chains, nails, chairs, beds, etc.

I tried to make interactive pieces that people could walk into and feel like they were a part of the piece.Art is not just visual, it is a social event.

For more information, please check out Svens websie: www.Svenmusic.com

WINE CONNOISSEUR C O N T I N U E D F RO M PA G E

12

Our next stop was the Von Jakob family wineries.They had quite a larger set-up than the previous three. The main building, where we tasted, had a large reception room adjacent to a ballroom. The bartender (shouldn’t there be a fancier name?

I mean come on, those silly kids working at Starbucks get to be called ‘barristers,’ maybe something along the line of ‘wine concierge!) was setting up for a wedding when we arrived.

The ballroom opened onto a large patio which overlooked acre after acre of rolling hills covered in vines. I’m not crazy into wedding stuff, but for about ten minutes I had visions of taffeta, satin, and tons of presents.

Our last stop was Pomona.This winery is the wine-maker’s retirement dream made reality. It is a small operation, but by far the best. The wine tasting area was simple and completely comfortable. The older owner was extremely fun, friendly, and informative. He gave us a lot of great meal advice to accompany our selected wines. He explained how his Jonathan Apple White Wine is not only a great accompaniment for a salmon dinner, it can actually be used as a marinade or to sauté! His vineyard had quite the alternative feel as well: completely grapeless. So you may be asking, what is

Theory of Everything will be playing this Sunday, August 14, at 9:30 at the Cowboy Monkey with $5 cover. TOE appears as part of a “Best Of Open Mic”showcase.

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

buzz weekly •

WHOOP THAT TRICK!! HUSTLE & FLOW.

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

wine without the grapes? Delicious! He explained to us that all fruits can be fermented and turned into wine. His fruit of choice was apples.We tried our most delicious wine yet, a Kir (pronounced Keer) made of 85% apple wine and 15% black currant wine.This blush wine is first sweet, due to the apples, but has a surprising, deliciously tart aftertaste, because of the currants.

We also bought their ‘Golden Reserve,’ a semi-sweet wine made from southern Illinois apples and aged in American oak.This is where wine tasting becomes really interesting. We tried the same wine aged in French oak and could really pick out the different tones. Six hours and we feel like wine connoisseurs.

Ok, maybe we aren’t wine connoisseurs quite yet. We probably need at least one more six hour frenetic wine tasting, adventure to become experts but we certainly know a lot more. In any case it sure beat picking out a random bottle from Mejer and hoping for the best.

So experience some tasty intoxicating culture. Go to Krannert’s wine tastings, you won’t regret it. Check out local wines at Sunsinger on Windsor, or at Friar Tuck’s on Neil Street. Make the trip down to the Shawnee Wine Trail. Support local agriculture and get some great wine in the process!

WWW.SHAWNEEWINETRAIL.COM

8 • buzz weekly

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

!"#$%&'# ARE ALMOST ALWAYS OF A SACRED

It's so easy to be wicked without

NATURE. NEVER TRY TO CORRECT THEM. ON THE CONTRARY: RATIONALIZE THEM, UNDERSTAND THEM THOROUGHLY.

knowing it, isn't it?

!"#$%& #'!#(& )#& *)++& ,$& -.//),+$& ".%& 0.1& #.& /1,+)2!#$& #'$2 3

L. M. Montgomery

- SALVADOR DALI

THEATRE REVIEW

buzz pick

Triple Whip

Wicked

velous musical.And yes, there is great news, this home cast is just fine. It is a bit less flamboyant than the super-hyped national touring company; they don't hit so many powerful high notes; but they give a pure and often more subtle interpretation of these amazing women.

Ana Gasteyer (Elphaba), from Saturday Night Live and Kate Reinders (Glinda) are simply dazzling as the two contending witches. Their skill at creating these characters in a more subtle way is truly noted when you realize you think of them as women first and witches as an afterthought. Now, get those tickets you missed.There is a lot of life on the Wicked stage until January 15.

The Ford Oriental Theatre is at 24 West Randolph in the heart of the Loop. You can get tickets from: 312-9021400 or www.wickedthemusical.com/chicago.

Kate Reinders and company

On Becoming a Wine Connoisseur CONSTANCE BEITZEL • ARTS EDITOR

I

south on 57, for the first time. The purpose of the expedition in college, so we did them all in just under six hours; savouring was a day of wine tasting. the bouquet and all!

Southern Illinois is the foothills of the foothills of the Our first vineyard was Owl Creek. It was a very simple operfoothills of the Appalachians. It’s kind of hilly down there. ation; we sampled several wines and decided on a semi-sweet This landscape of rolling hills, fertile land, and numerous lakes table wine. It was nice, but not overly inspired. and rivers makes it an ideal spot for vineyards.

Our next stop was Inheritance Valley, the newest vineyard on We set out early in the morning, so with my wild and frenet- the tour. It was planted in 1997 and started producing in 2002. ic driving we made the trip in a little under thirty minutes - Inheritance’s most interesting selections were their ports. give or take two hours. I used to deliver pizza and have never We settled on one that began sweet and had a perfectly stunreally recovered any ning dark chocolate aftertaste.We sense of responsible also bought a traminette, and a driving. I told my pasdrier Illinois white table wine, senger to stop crying, made with traminette grapes !"#$%&'#$()*(&'+$),#) that we weren’t going instead of the more traditional to die, as I swerved %)*$*&-./#$)'0$12-3 chardonnay grapes. around fast turns, At Alto, the oldest winery in ./#(#/4$12'52,()6/# slammed on my brake Southern Illinois, we sampled their to avoid collisions, merlots and decided on their !"#$%&#'()*+(%,(-)7$8,(*$90&(2, and rotated Tom ‘Rocko Red.’ This is a semi-dry Waits, Iron and Wine, table wine named after the wineand Daft Punk. maker’s best friend who recently We arrived in one passed away. Accordingly, “This piece (told you we wouldn’t die!) on the wine was a promise made to Rocko…to make a wine big and ‘Shawnee Wine Trail - the route that connects friendly, just as he was.” We found the sentiment easier to swallow five award winning wineries: Alto, Owl Creek, than most of the wine we sampled at Alto, though. It was the least Pomona, Inheritance Valley, and Von Jakob friendly vineyard, quite a departure from the others.

Vineyards. Many tourists take a whole weekend to experience all five wineries. But heck, we’re WWW.SHAWNEEWINETRAIL.COM

’m a suburban girl, born and raised about a half hour north of Chicago. That means I am really only a half hour skip and a hop to Wisconsin. Therefore, growing up, everything was southern Illinois to me. Chicago, Champaign, Carbondale: All south…really, really south.

So basically, I associated southern Illinois as little more than those crazy Carbondale kids and cows. This all changed when I got to college and actually made friends with those silly southerners. One of them induced me, last week, to make the trek

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

DJ DJ Stiffler [80's hair metal] Tommy G's, 9pm, free Generic DJ Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8pm, TBA DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, electro] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Elise [house] Boltini, 10pm, free Solace: DJ Mertz [deep house] Soma, 10pm, free DJ Asiatic [hip hop] Nargile, 10pm Ladies Night featuring Luis Vasquez, DJ Res Tuly, DJ Black Ice [hip hop, dance, reggae, reggaeton, salsa] Nargile, 9pm, Ladies free before $9, Men $5

PHOTO CREDIT: Ted Veatch

G

reat news for theater goes in Illinois.That show you couldn't get tickets for is back. Wicked, that wonderful musical about the making of the Wicked Witch of the West, from Gregory Maguire's best selling novel, has returned to the Ford Oriental Theatre, and it is going to stay there until January 15, 2006.

I heard many complaints after my review of the national touring company in May that all performances for Wicked were pretty much sold out as soon as the play opened. There are reasons. First, this is a great piece of musical theater as adapted by Winnie Holzman (book) and Stephen Schwartz (music and lyrics). Second, it is superbly directed by Joe Mantello and choreographed by Wayne Cliento. Third, it has tremendous appeal to young audiences.

After the national touring company moved on, directors Mantello and Cliento stayed behind to stage an all Chicago cast that would stay put and maybe meet the incredible audience demand for this mar-

PHOTO • JOAN MARCUS

JEFFREY NELSON • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

13

s c e n e

THURSDAY Aug 11 Live Music Shovelrack White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, free Acoustic Music Series: Angie Heaton Aroma, 8pm, free Andrew Dixon Quartet Iron Post, 7-9pm, TBA Tribute to Summer Camp: Family Groove Company Canopy club, 10pm, $3 Eclectic Theory Joe’s Brewery, 6-9pm, 11pm-1am, free

Ume, The Narrator, Fireflies Cowboy Monkey, 9pm, $5 Tuesday, August 16 Triple Whip take the stage at Cowboy Monkey on Tuesday night. One of the most eclectic bands that Champaign-Urbana is lucky enough to call its own, they play their own mixture of indie, funk, and aspects of hip hop and jazz. The band begins recording a new 5-song EP at Mark Rubel’s Pogo Studio in Champaign this month.

Houston based band Ume joins Triple Whip at this show. This is their third visit to C-U and is almost to the one year anniversary of their local debut. Their music is a mixture of passion and dissonance and it’s said that their live show is not to be missed.

The Chicago band The Narrator is also known for its fiery live shows. They release their first full length “Such Triumph” on Flameshovel records in late June to some critical acclaim.

Fireflies is C-U newest up and coming group. They bring the indie rock with a substantial helping of sound experimentation. It should be very interesting to see how this band progresses over time.

--Cassie Conne

Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke The Cheezy Trio [live band karaoke] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 Dancing UIUC Swing Society McKinley Foundation 9:30pm-12am, free Health and Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign, 8pm, $7$9 Belly Dance for Fitness Gold’s Gym, Champaign, 7:30pm, $7-$9 Group Meditation Ananda Liina, 2308 N. High Cross Rd. Urbana, 5:30pm, free Wine Tasting Krannert Uncorked Krannert Art Center Lobby 5pm, free Kids & Family Funfare [stories, songs, puppets, and films for children and their caregivers] Urbana Free Library, 10:30-11am, free

Bow-Dacious String Band [youth string band playing folk music from around the world, hoedowns and movie hits] Urbana Free Library, 12-1pm, free Lectures, Meetings, Workshops Joan Embery’s Wild Life: The Fun, the Reality, the Future [hear Embery talk about the highlights of her career with wild animals and discuss the future of conservation] College of Veterinary Medicine Large Animal Clinic Auditorium, 7pm, free FRIDAY Aug 12 Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Eclectic Theory The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Matt Warnock Duo [jazz] Mike n' Molly's, 5-7pm, $3 Kevin Hart Quartet Iron Post, 5-7pm, TBA Billy Galt Tommy G's, 5-7pm, free Roger Cler [acoustic/rock] Cowboy Monkey, 5:30pm, free Pocket Big Band [jazz] The Highdive, 5:30-7:30pm, $3 Barb Hamilton Band Iron Post, 9pm, TBA The Delta Kings [blues] The Phoenix, 9pm, free Torg, Indianapolis Public Drunks, We Are Timebomb Youth, Salesman, Boots and Bracelets [punk] The Ugly Puppy, 9pm, $6 Dropsixx, Justify the Means, Ditchwater, Still Heart Conspiracy Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 JAB [hard rock/new rock covers] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover DJ DJ Lil Big Bass [drum n bass, 2 step] Boltini, 10pm, free DJ Elise [house, broken beat] Boltini, 6-10pm, free DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm-2am, TBA DJ Bonsu, DJ Impact [hip hop, Chicago deep house] Nargile, 9pm, free before 11pm, $5 after DJ Delayney [hip hop, soul] Barfly, 10pm, free CFK [house] Chester St., 10pm, TBA DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10:30pm, $5 Dancing Tango Dancing Lesson [coordinated by Joe Grohens] Verde Gallery, 7pm, $5

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO LIST A POSTING E-MAIL CALENDAR@READBUZZ.COM BY SUNDAY NIGHT. s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

is upon us.

Trash treasures and dusty diamonds (or whatever clever moniker you

want to call your curbside finds) are in abundance in C-U this week.

With the leases of hundreds of U of I students ending, there will never be more free stuff on our streets. Keep your eyes open and you’re guaranteed to score some great items that, for some reason, someone deemed useless! Recent finds from Buzz staffers include two acoustic guitars, a new titanium tennis racket, a cable modem, a stereo and a working pressed-wood counsel TV. Hell, even if you don’t need it, take it down to a pawn shop and get some cash.

Hot Spots to Hit •Campustown between Springfield Ave. and Armory St. on the north and south and Fourth St. and Locust Ave on the east and west.

•Urbana between Elm St. and Ohio St. on the north and south and Lincoln Ave. and Orchard Ave. on the east and west.

–Erin Scottberg

Art&T heater All in the Family [photos by husband and wife photography team Cindy and Kirby Pringle. Also on display: works from Leo Frucza and Work by Leo Grucza and Robert K. O'Daniell] Prairie Boatworks Gallery through August 21 Living Language: Painting and Poetry Unite by Marie Mamaril [watercolor and acrylic on canvas] Pages for All Ages through Sept 14 Abstraction: Intertwining Identities [a retrospective of the life and works of James Belton Bonsall.]

Illini Union Art Gallery through August 12

Come as You Are Ned Broderick of the Pilsen Photogroup Digital print from Polaroid transfer

The Pilsen Photo Group [This Chicago based collective creates,displays, and promotes experimental and traditional photography in their gallery in the historic Pilsen arts community.

The show will feature the work of Champaign artist Richard Wilson.]

Cinema Gallery through August 13 Study of Landscapes and Study of Verbs [abstract paintings by Sven] Aroma Cafe through August 31

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am, TBA Karaoke American Legion Post 71, 7pm, $5 Special Events Urbana Free Library Book Sale Urbana Free Library, 9am-5:30pm Champaign-Urbana Day [live entertainment, food, basketball tournament, children’s activities, talent show] Douglass Park, 11am-6pm

SATURDAY August 13 Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Music Among the Vines: Jeff Helgesen and Rachael Lee [jazz] Alto Vineyards, 7:30pm, $3 Holly Holmes Borders, 8pm, free The Tons O Fun Band [Motown and classic covers] Fat City Saloon, 8pm, TBA The Heaters [classic rock/blues] The Phoenix, 9pm, free The Bird Dogs, Hayes Carll [rock/country] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 The Respondent, Below Eden, Stood Up Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, $4 Mike Ingram Iron Post, 10pm, TBA Paradise City [Guns 'n Roses tribute band] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover DJ Night of Elegance: DJ Asiatic, DJ Dice [R&B, hip hop] Nargile, 10pm

! " " "" " "

DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm, TBA DJ Night Paulie's, 9pm, free DJ Resonate [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Limbs [hip hop, breaks, jams] Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ White Horse Inn, 10pm, free "G" Force DJ The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover DJ Dance Party Canopy Club, 10pm, TBA Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's, 9pm-1am, free Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages, 11am, free Special Events Urbana Free Library Book Sale Urbana Free Library, 9am-5:30pm

SUNDAY Aug. 14 Live Music The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Liquid Courage Open Mic Night Geovanti's, 8pm-12am, free Blues Jam Iron Post, 7-10pm, TBA Best of Open Mic Showcase: Darrin Drda's Theory of Everything, Doxy, Brandon T. Washington, Mike Ingram, C. King, Joanna Michal Cowboy Monkey, 9:30pm, $5 Free Rock Show: Sick Day, Black Light Rebels, Heavy Handed Tommy G', 9:30pm, free Mutton, The Dancing Nancies [rock] The Ugly Puppy, 9pm, $5 DJ DJ Wesjile [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free

#$%& '(%)*$+ +++ + +!

Champaign County Operation Snowball

Study of Primary, Secondary and Tertiary [abstract works by Sven] Cafe Kopi through August 31 Art With Intention Open Studio [Individually directed drop-in studio time allowing adults to explore their creative voices.

Instructed by Sandra Ahten] Thursdays, 4-9pm. Visit www.spiritofsandra.com for details and location.

Aroma Cafe is looking for artists to exhibit their work. If you are interested in exhibiting your art, please contact Amanda Bickel, art coordinator at Aroma Cafe at art4aroma@yahoo.com.

Operation Snowball, an organization assisting teens develop into responsible, accountable adults, needs a little help with their brochure and other materials. Knowledge of desktop publishing, PageMaker and Photoshop is essential. Volunteers with the necessary equipment can work from home. If you have a few spare hours to help, please contact Robert Silverman at (217) 337-5809 or ccos@champaignsnowball.org.

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

Patio Party: DJ Black Ice [hip hop] Nargile, 8pm, $5 Jon Meske [house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

v e n u e s C H A M P A I G N

buzz pick

Joan Embrey

Special Events Urbana Free Library Book Sale Urbana Free Library, 1-4:30pm

T

onight at 7:00, Joan Embrey, the former ambassador of conservation for the San Diego Zoo, will be speaking at the College of Veterinary Medicine about her career working with animals and the future of conservation around the world. Her presentation, “Joan Embery’s Wild Life: The Fun, the Reality, the Future,” will focus on raising awareness for programs that promote global health through various means. Admission is free and there will be free parking available at 2001 South Lincoln Avenue. For more information and directions, visit http://www.cvm.uiuc.edu/advancement/ embery.html

MONDAY Aug 15 Live Music Love & Joy [comedy and live R&B] Canopy Club, 10pm, $3 Motown Mondays: As Is Nargile, 7pm, $5 Jazz Jam with ParaDocs Iron Post, 8-11pm, TBA Chris and Jim [cover band] White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Finga Lickin' The Office, 10:30pm, free Quad Remedy [classic rock] Tommy G’s, 10pm, free Krum Bums, Damage Case, The Insolents, Alleyway Sex, TBA The Ugly Puppy, 9pm, $5 Open Mic Night hosted by Mike Ingram Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free

—Todd Swiss

Ed &

DJ DJ Delayney [hip hop/soul] Barfly, 10pm, free Mixtape Mondays: Supporting the Electronic Music Scene Boltini, 10pm, free

TUESDAY Aug 16 Live Music Bluegrass Jam Verde Gallery, 7-9:30pm, free Open Jam/Open Mic hosted by Kate Hathaway Canopy Club, 9pm, 21+/free, $2/under 21 The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Adam Wolfe's Acoustic Night with Adam Wolfe, Jess Greenlee Tommy G's, 10pm, free Open Stage Espresso Royale Goodwin & Oregon, 8pm, free Larry Gates [acoustic] The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Open Jam/Open Mic hosted by Kate Hathaway Canopy Club, 9pm, free if over 21, $2 if under Urbana Booking Co. presents: Triple Whip, Ume, The Narrator, FireFlies Cowboy Monkey, 9pm, $5 The Knox, The Lab Rats, Missing in Action, Boots and Bracelets, The Insolents The Ugly Puppy, 9pm, $6 DJ DJ Reaganomics [80’s requests] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Subversion: DJ ZoZo, DJ Blublood, DJ TwinScin [goth/industrial/electro] The Highdive, 10pm, $2 Tremblin BG Barfly, 10pm, free DJ JB [hip hop music videos] Nargile, 9pm, free DJ Lil Big Bass [2 step, drum n bass] Boltini, 10:30pm, TBA CFK [house] Chester Street, 10pm, TBA Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Neil St. Pub, 8pm-12am, free •

s o u n d s

f r o m

This Wednesday (and every one after that), head out to The Rose

Bob

Bowl Tavern for a boot-stomping good time as Ed & Bob play your favorite classic rock and country tunes. Ed and Bob play everything from “Merle Haggard to Muddy Waters,” as their slogan says, and play requests too. Your typical country bar, dimly lit-save the neon glow of Miller, Pabst Blue Ribbon and Nascar signs-the Rose Bowl offers a dance floor directly in front of the stage with ample room for twisting, shaking and line dancing (if you have the skills).

—Erin Scottberg

The Rose Bowl Tavern, 106 N. Race St., Urbana Every Wednesday, 9pm, free

Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's , 9pm-1am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke and DJ Track's, 9pm-1am Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign, 8pm, $7-$9 Kids Babies’ Lap Time [songs, stories and rhymes for the youngest patrons, birth24 mo., with an adult] Urbana Free Library, 10:30-11am, free Storytime Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free

WEDNESDAY Aug 17 Live Music Apollo Poetics Nargile, 10pm, free Chambana Jackson’s Ribs-n-Tips, 8-10pm t h e

s c e n e •

Ed O'Hare and Friends Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Blues Night: Kilborn Alley Tommy G's, 10pm, free Chambana Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8-10pm Dawna Nelson Trio Iron Post, 5-7pm, TBA Pulsar47, 7 Inch Wave, Marah-Mar Canopy Club, 9pm, $5 DJ Chef Ra [roots, reggae] Barfly, 10pm, free Contact: DJ Raphael Kroshay, TBA [drum n bass] Nargile, 9pm, free DJ Tim Williams [80's & 90's] Soma, 10pm, TBA DJ Limbs [hip hop, breaks, jams] Boltini, 10pm, free Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti's, 10pm-2am, free Outlaw Karaoke The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, free

Editor’s Note: I made it out to see Ed & Bob last week for a friend’s 21st birthday. Once they found out it was her birthday, they used her name in the songs they sang and had everyone on the dance floor, beers in our hands, cowboy hats on our heads. It was great.

Salsa Dancing [salsa/mambo/bachata] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Comedy Improv featuring the Zoo Theatre Company Verde Gallery, 8pm, $4 Lectures, Meetings, Workshops Open Poetry Night [writers may read their own work or just listen] Illini Union Bookstore,7-8 pm Career Planning Seminar [Participants will learn about the career development process; explore interests, abilities, and goals; and discover available resources. A tour of the Career Center is provided, followed by an opportunity to schedule an individual appointment with a career counselor] Parkland College, rm A208, 6-8pm, free Fitness Yoga Ananda Liina, 2308 N. High Cross Rd. Urbana, 5:30-7pm, free

11

Dumpster Diving

Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free

IMAGE CREDITS: http://www.marklarson.com

10

Just when you thought you had enough stuff, the time for

|

U R B A N A

ASSEMBLY HALL | First & Florida, Champaign 333-5000 AMERICAN LEGION POST 24 | 705 W Bloomington, Champaign 356-5144 AMERICAN LEGION POST 71 | 107 N Broadway, Urbana 367-3121 BARFLY | 120 N Neil, Champaign 352-9756 BOLTINI LOUNGE | 211 N Neil, Champaign 378-8001 BOARDMAN’S ART THEATER | 126 W Church, Champaign 351-0068 THE BRASS RAIL | 15 E University, Champaign 352-7512 THE BRIDGE | 124 W. White St. Champaign THE CANOPY CLUB (GARDEN GRILL) | 708 S Goodwin, Urbana 367-3140 CHANNING-MURRAY FOUNDATION | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana CIVITAS | 112 Main St., Urbana0 COURTYARD CAFE | Illini Union, 1401 W Green, Urbana 333-4666 COWBOY MONKEY | 6 Taylor, Champaign 398-2688 CURTIS ORCHARD | 3902 S Duncan, Champaign 359-5565 D.R. DIGGERS | 604 S Country Fair, Champaign 356-0888 ELMER’S CLUB 45 | 3525 N Cunningham, Urbana 344-3101 EMBASSY TAVERN & GRILL | 114 S Race, Urbana 384-9526 ESQUIRE LOUNGE | 106 N Walnut, Champaign 398-5858 FALLON’S ICE HOUSE | 703 N Prospect, Champaign 398-5760 FAT CITY SALOON | 505 S Chestnut, Champaign 356-7100 THE GREAT IMPASTA | 114 W Church, Champaign 359-7377 THE HIGHDIVE | 51 Main, Champaign 359-4444 HUBER’S | 1312 W Church, Champaign 352-0606 ILLINOIS DISCIPLES FOUNDATION | 610 E Springfield, Champaign 352-8721 INDEPENDENT MEDIA CENTER | 218 W Main, Urbana 344-8820 THE IRON POST | 120 S Race, Urbana 337-7678 JACKSON’S RIBS-N-TIPS| 116 N First, Champaign 355-2916 JOE’S BREWERY | 706 S Fifth, Champaign 384-1790 KRANNERT ART MUSEUM | 500 E Peabody, Champaign 333-1861 KRANNERT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS | 500 S Goodwin, Urbana Tickets: 333-6280, 800-KCPATIX LA CASA CULTURAL LATINA | 1203 W Nevada, Urbana 333-4950

LAVA | 1906 W Bradley, Champaign 352-8714 LINCOLN CASTLE | 209 S Broadway, Urbana 344-7720 MALIBU BAY LOUNGE | North Route 45, Urbana 328-7415 MIKE ‘N’ MOLLY’S | 105 N Market, Champaign 355-1236 NARGILE | 207 W Clark, Champaign NEIL STREET PUB | 1505 N Neil, Champaign 359-1601 THE OFFICE | 214 W Main, Urbana 344-7608 OPENSOURCE | 12 E. Washington,Champaign http://opensource.boxwith.com PARKLAND COLLEGE | 2400 W Bradley, Champaign 351-2528 PHOENIX | 215 S Neil, Champaign 355-7866 PIA’S OF RANTOUL | Route 136 E, Rantoul 893-8244 RED HERRING/CHANNING-MURRAY FOUNDATION | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana 344-1176 ROSE BOWL TAVERN | 106 N Race, Urbana 367-7031 SIDE BAR | 55 E. Main, Champaign 398-5760 SPRINGER CULTURAL CENTER | 301 N Randolph, Champaign 398-2376 SPURLOCK MUSEUM | 600 S Gregory, Urbana, 333-2360 THE STATION THEATRE | 223 N Broadway, Urbana 384-4000 STRAWBERRY FIELDS CAFE | 306 W Springfield, Urbana 328-1655 TK WENDL’S | 1901 S Highcross, Urbana 255-5328 TOMMY G’S | 123 S Mattis, Country Fair Shopping Center 359-2177 TONIC | 619 S Wright, Champaign 356-6768 TRACKS | 116 N Chestnut, Champaign 762-8116 THE UGLY PUPPY | 4014 N. Market, Champaign 356-6028 UNIVERSITY YMCA | 1001 S Wright, Champaign 344-0721 URBANA CIVIC CENTER | 108 Water St., Urbana VERDE/VERDANT | 17 E Taylor, Champaign 366-3204 VIRGINIA THEATRE | 203 W Park Ave, Champaign 356-9053 WAKE THE DEAD CAFE | 1210 E. Eldorado St. Decatur 233-4525 WASHINGTON STREET PUB | 600 S. Washington, Tuscola 253-6850 WHITE HORSE INN | 112 1/2 E Green, Champaign 352-5945 ZORBA’S | 627 E Green, Champaign 344-0710

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

is upon us.

Trash treasures and dusty diamonds (or whatever clever moniker you

want to call your curbside finds) are in abundance in C-U this week.

With the leases of hundreds of U of I students ending, there will never be more free stuff on our streets. Keep your eyes open and you’re guaranteed to score some great items that, for some reason, someone deemed useless! Recent finds from Buzz staffers include two acoustic guitars, a new titanium tennis racket, a cable modem, a stereo and a working pressed-wood counsel TV. Hell, even if you don’t need it, take it down to a pawn shop and get some cash.

Hot Spots to Hit •Campustown between Springfield Ave. and Armory St. on the north and south and Fourth St. and Locust Ave on the east and west.

•Urbana between Elm St. and Ohio St. on the north and south and Lincoln Ave. and Orchard Ave. on the east and west.

–Erin Scottberg

Art&T heater All in the Family [photos by husband and wife photography team Cindy and Kirby Pringle. Also on display: works from Leo Frucza and Work by Leo Grucza and Robert K. O'Daniell] Prairie Boatworks Gallery through August 21 Living Language: Painting and Poetry Unite by Marie Mamaril [watercolor and acrylic on canvas] Pages for All Ages through Sept 14 Abstraction: Intertwining Identities [a retrospective of the life and works of James Belton Bonsall.]

Illini Union Art Gallery through August 12

Come as You Are Ned Broderick of the Pilsen Photogroup Digital print from Polaroid transfer

The Pilsen Photo Group [This Chicago based collective creates,displays, and promotes experimental and traditional photography in their gallery in the historic Pilsen arts community.

The show will feature the work of Champaign artist Richard Wilson.]

Cinema Gallery through August 13 Study of Landscapes and Study of Verbs [abstract paintings by Sven] Aroma Cafe through August 31

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am, TBA Karaoke American Legion Post 71, 7pm, $5 Special Events Urbana Free Library Book Sale Urbana Free Library, 9am-5:30pm Champaign-Urbana Day [live entertainment, food, basketball tournament, children’s activities, talent show] Douglass Park, 11am-6pm

SATURDAY August 13 Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Music Among the Vines: Jeff Helgesen and Rachael Lee [jazz] Alto Vineyards, 7:30pm, $3 Holly Holmes Borders, 8pm, free The Tons O Fun Band [Motown and classic covers] Fat City Saloon, 8pm, TBA The Heaters [classic rock/blues] The Phoenix, 9pm, free The Bird Dogs, Hayes Carll [rock/country] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 The Respondent, Below Eden, Stood Up Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, $4 Mike Ingram Iron Post, 10pm, TBA Paradise City [Guns 'n Roses tribute band] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover DJ Night of Elegance: DJ Asiatic, DJ Dice [R&B, hip hop] Nargile, 10pm

! " " "" " "

DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm, TBA DJ Night Paulie's, 9pm, free DJ Resonate [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Limbs [hip hop, breaks, jams] Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ White Horse Inn, 10pm, free "G" Force DJ The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover DJ Dance Party Canopy Club, 10pm, TBA Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's, 9pm-1am, free Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages, 11am, free Special Events Urbana Free Library Book Sale Urbana Free Library, 9am-5:30pm

SUNDAY Aug. 14 Live Music The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Liquid Courage Open Mic Night Geovanti's, 8pm-12am, free Blues Jam Iron Post, 7-10pm, TBA Best of Open Mic Showcase: Darrin Drda's Theory of Everything, Doxy, Brandon T. Washington, Mike Ingram, C. King, Joanna Michal Cowboy Monkey, 9:30pm, $5 Free Rock Show: Sick Day, Black Light Rebels, Heavy Handed Tommy G', 9:30pm, free Mutton, The Dancing Nancies [rock] The Ugly Puppy, 9pm, $5 DJ DJ Wesjile [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free

#$%& '(%)*$+ +++ + +!

Champaign County Operation Snowball

Study of Primary, Secondary and Tertiary [abstract works by Sven] Cafe Kopi through August 31 Art With Intention Open Studio [Individually directed drop-in studio time allowing adults to explore their creative voices.

Instructed by Sandra Ahten] Thursdays, 4-9pm. Visit www.spiritofsandra.com for details and location.

Aroma Cafe is looking for artists to exhibit their work. If you are interested in exhibiting your art, please contact Amanda Bickel, art coordinator at Aroma Cafe at art4aroma@yahoo.com.

Operation Snowball, an organization assisting teens develop into responsible, accountable adults, needs a little help with their brochure and other materials. Knowledge of desktop publishing, PageMaker and Photoshop is essential. Volunteers with the necessary equipment can work from home. If you have a few spare hours to help, please contact Robert Silverman at (217) 337-5809 or ccos@champaignsnowball.org.

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

Patio Party: DJ Black Ice [hip hop] Nargile, 8pm, $5 Jon Meske [house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

v e n u e s C H A M P A I G N

buzz pick

Joan Embrey

Special Events Urbana Free Library Book Sale Urbana Free Library, 1-4:30pm

T

onight at 7:00, Joan Embrey, the former ambassador of conservation for the San Diego Zoo, will be speaking at the College of Veterinary Medicine about her career working with animals and the future of conservation around the world. Her presentation, “Joan Embery’s Wild Life: The Fun, the Reality, the Future,” will focus on raising awareness for programs that promote global health through various means. Admission is free and there will be free parking available at 2001 South Lincoln Avenue. For more information and directions, visit http://www.cvm.uiuc.edu/advancement/ embery.html

MONDAY Aug 15 Live Music Love & Joy [comedy and live R&B] Canopy Club, 10pm, $3 Motown Mondays: As Is Nargile, 7pm, $5 Jazz Jam with ParaDocs Iron Post, 8-11pm, TBA Chris and Jim [cover band] White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Finga Lickin' The Office, 10:30pm, free Quad Remedy [classic rock] Tommy G’s, 10pm, free Krum Bums, Damage Case, The Insolents, Alleyway Sex, TBA The Ugly Puppy, 9pm, $5 Open Mic Night hosted by Mike Ingram Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free

—Todd Swiss

Ed &

DJ DJ Delayney [hip hop/soul] Barfly, 10pm, free Mixtape Mondays: Supporting the Electronic Music Scene Boltini, 10pm, free

TUESDAY Aug 16 Live Music Bluegrass Jam Verde Gallery, 7-9:30pm, free Open Jam/Open Mic hosted by Kate Hathaway Canopy Club, 9pm, 21+/free, $2/under 21 The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Adam Wolfe's Acoustic Night with Adam Wolfe, Jess Greenlee Tommy G's, 10pm, free Open Stage Espresso Royale Goodwin & Oregon, 8pm, free Larry Gates [acoustic] The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Open Jam/Open Mic hosted by Kate Hathaway Canopy Club, 9pm, free if over 21, $2 if under Urbana Booking Co. presents: Triple Whip, Ume, The Narrator, FireFlies Cowboy Monkey, 9pm, $5 The Knox, The Lab Rats, Missing in Action, Boots and Bracelets, The Insolents The Ugly Puppy, 9pm, $6 DJ DJ Reaganomics [80’s requests] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Subversion: DJ ZoZo, DJ Blublood, DJ TwinScin [goth/industrial/electro] The Highdive, 10pm, $2 Tremblin BG Barfly, 10pm, free DJ JB [hip hop music videos] Nargile, 9pm, free DJ Lil Big Bass [2 step, drum n bass] Boltini, 10:30pm, TBA CFK [house] Chester Street, 10pm, TBA Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Neil St. Pub, 8pm-12am, free •

s o u n d s

f r o m

This Wednesday (and every one after that), head out to The Rose

Bob

Bowl Tavern for a boot-stomping good time as Ed & Bob play your favorite classic rock and country tunes. Ed and Bob play everything from “Merle Haggard to Muddy Waters,” as their slogan says, and play requests too. Your typical country bar, dimly lit-save the neon glow of Miller, Pabst Blue Ribbon and Nascar signs-the Rose Bowl offers a dance floor directly in front of the stage with ample room for twisting, shaking and line dancing (if you have the skills).

—Erin Scottberg

The Rose Bowl Tavern, 106 N. Race St., Urbana Every Wednesday, 9pm, free

Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's , 9pm-1am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke and DJ Track's, 9pm-1am Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign, 8pm, $7-$9 Kids Babies’ Lap Time [songs, stories and rhymes for the youngest patrons, birth24 mo., with an adult] Urbana Free Library, 10:30-11am, free Storytime Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free

WEDNESDAY Aug 17 Live Music Apollo Poetics Nargile, 10pm, free Chambana Jackson’s Ribs-n-Tips, 8-10pm t h e

s c e n e •

Ed O'Hare and Friends Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Blues Night: Kilborn Alley Tommy G's, 10pm, free Chambana Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8-10pm Dawna Nelson Trio Iron Post, 5-7pm, TBA Pulsar47, 7 Inch Wave, Marah-Mar Canopy Club, 9pm, $5 DJ Chef Ra [roots, reggae] Barfly, 10pm, free Contact: DJ Raphael Kroshay, TBA [drum n bass] Nargile, 9pm, free DJ Tim Williams [80's & 90's] Soma, 10pm, TBA DJ Limbs [hip hop, breaks, jams] Boltini, 10pm, free Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti's, 10pm-2am, free Outlaw Karaoke The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, free

Editor’s Note: I made it out to see Ed & Bob last week for a friend’s 21st birthday. Once they found out it was her birthday, they used her name in the songs they sang and had everyone on the dance floor, beers in our hands, cowboy hats on our heads. It was great.

Salsa Dancing [salsa/mambo/bachata] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Comedy Improv featuring the Zoo Theatre Company Verde Gallery, 8pm, $4 Lectures, Meetings, Workshops Open Poetry Night [writers may read their own work or just listen] Illini Union Bookstore,7-8 pm Career Planning Seminar [Participants will learn about the career development process; explore interests, abilities, and goals; and discover available resources. A tour of the Career Center is provided, followed by an opportunity to schedule an individual appointment with a career counselor] Parkland College, rm A208, 6-8pm, free Fitness Yoga Ananda Liina, 2308 N. High Cross Rd. Urbana, 5:30-7pm, free

11

Dumpster Diving

Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free

IMAGE CREDITS: http://www.marklarson.com

10

Just when you thought you had enough stuff, the time for

|

U R B A N A

ASSEMBLY HALL | First & Florida, Champaign 333-5000 AMERICAN LEGION POST 24 | 705 W Bloomington, Champaign 356-5144 AMERICAN LEGION POST 71 | 107 N Broadway, Urbana 367-3121 BARFLY | 120 N Neil, Champaign 352-9756 BOLTINI LOUNGE | 211 N Neil, Champaign 378-8001 BOARDMAN’S ART THEATER | 126 W Church, Champaign 351-0068 THE BRASS RAIL | 15 E University, Champaign 352-7512 THE BRIDGE | 124 W. White St. Champaign THE CANOPY CLUB (GARDEN GRILL) | 708 S Goodwin, Urbana 367-3140 CHANNING-MURRAY FOUNDATION | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana CIVITAS | 112 Main St., Urbana0 COURTYARD CAFE | Illini Union, 1401 W Green, Urbana 333-4666 COWBOY MONKEY | 6 Taylor, Champaign 398-2688 CURTIS ORCHARD | 3902 S Duncan, Champaign 359-5565 D.R. DIGGERS | 604 S Country Fair, Champaign 356-0888 ELMER’S CLUB 45 | 3525 N Cunningham, Urbana 344-3101 EMBASSY TAVERN & GRILL | 114 S Race, Urbana 384-9526 ESQUIRE LOUNGE | 106 N Walnut, Champaign 398-5858 FALLON’S ICE HOUSE | 703 N Prospect, Champaign 398-5760 FAT CITY SALOON | 505 S Chestnut, Champaign 356-7100 THE GREAT IMPASTA | 114 W Church, Champaign 359-7377 THE HIGHDIVE | 51 Main, Champaign 359-4444 HUBER’S | 1312 W Church, Champaign 352-0606 ILLINOIS DISCIPLES FOUNDATION | 610 E Springfield, Champaign 352-8721 INDEPENDENT MEDIA CENTER | 218 W Main, Urbana 344-8820 THE IRON POST | 120 S Race, Urbana 337-7678 JACKSON’S RIBS-N-TIPS| 116 N First, Champaign 355-2916 JOE’S BREWERY | 706 S Fifth, Champaign 384-1790 KRANNERT ART MUSEUM | 500 E Peabody, Champaign 333-1861 KRANNERT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS | 500 S Goodwin, Urbana Tickets: 333-6280, 800-KCPATIX LA CASA CULTURAL LATINA | 1203 W Nevada, Urbana 333-4950

LAVA | 1906 W Bradley, Champaign 352-8714 LINCOLN CASTLE | 209 S Broadway, Urbana 344-7720 MALIBU BAY LOUNGE | North Route 45, Urbana 328-7415 MIKE ‘N’ MOLLY’S | 105 N Market, Champaign 355-1236 NARGILE | 207 W Clark, Champaign NEIL STREET PUB | 1505 N Neil, Champaign 359-1601 THE OFFICE | 214 W Main, Urbana 344-7608 OPENSOURCE | 12 E. Washington,Champaign http://opensource.boxwith.com PARKLAND COLLEGE | 2400 W Bradley, Champaign 351-2528 PHOENIX | 215 S Neil, Champaign 355-7866 PIA’S OF RANTOUL | Route 136 E, Rantoul 893-8244 RED HERRING/CHANNING-MURRAY FOUNDATION | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana 344-1176 ROSE BOWL TAVERN | 106 N Race, Urbana 367-7031 SIDE BAR | 55 E. Main, Champaign 398-5760 SPRINGER CULTURAL CENTER | 301 N Randolph, Champaign 398-2376 SPURLOCK MUSEUM | 600 S Gregory, Urbana, 333-2360 THE STATION THEATRE | 223 N Broadway, Urbana 384-4000 STRAWBERRY FIELDS CAFE | 306 W Springfield, Urbana 328-1655 TK WENDL’S | 1901 S Highcross, Urbana 255-5328 TOMMY G’S | 123 S Mattis, Country Fair Shopping Center 359-2177 TONIC | 619 S Wright, Champaign 356-6768 TRACKS | 116 N Chestnut, Champaign 762-8116 THE UGLY PUPPY | 4014 N. Market, Champaign 356-6028 UNIVERSITY YMCA | 1001 S Wright, Champaign 344-0721 URBANA CIVIC CENTER | 108 Water St., Urbana VERDE/VERDANT | 17 E Taylor, Champaign 366-3204 VIRGINIA THEATRE | 203 W Park Ave, Champaign 356-9053 WAKE THE DEAD CAFE | 1210 E. Eldorado St. Decatur 233-4525 WASHINGTON STREET PUB | 600 S. Washington, Tuscola 253-6850 WHITE HORSE INN | 112 1/2 E Green, Champaign 352-5945 ZORBA’S | 627 E Green, Champaign 344-0710

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

!"#$%&'# ARE ALMOST ALWAYS OF A SACRED

It's so easy to be wicked without

NATURE. NEVER TRY TO CORRECT THEM. ON THE CONTRARY: RATIONALIZE THEM, UNDERSTAND THEM THOROUGHLY.

knowing it, isn't it?

!"#$%& #'!#(& )#& *)++& ,$& -.//),+$& ".%& 0.1& #.& /1,+)2!#$& #'$2 3

L. M. Montgomery

- SALVADOR DALI

THEATRE REVIEW

buzz pick

Triple Whip

Wicked

velous musical.And yes, there is great news, this home cast is just fine. It is a bit less flamboyant than the super-hyped national touring company; they don't hit so many powerful high notes; but they give a pure and often more subtle interpretation of these amazing women.

Ana Gasteyer (Elphaba), from Saturday Night Live and Kate Reinders (Glinda) are simply dazzling as the two contending witches. Their skill at creating these characters in a more subtle way is truly noted when you realize you think of them as women first and witches as an afterthought. Now, get those tickets you missed.There is a lot of life on the Wicked stage until January 15.

The Ford Oriental Theatre is at 24 West Randolph in the heart of the Loop. You can get tickets from: 312-9021400 or www.wickedthemusical.com/chicago.

Kate Reinders and company

On Becoming a Wine Connoisseur CONSTANCE BEITZEL • ARTS EDITOR

I

south on 57, for the first time. The purpose of the expedition in college, so we did them all in just under six hours; savouring was a day of wine tasting. the bouquet and all!

Southern Illinois is the foothills of the foothills of the Our first vineyard was Owl Creek. It was a very simple operfoothills of the Appalachians. It’s kind of hilly down there. ation; we sampled several wines and decided on a semi-sweet This landscape of rolling hills, fertile land, and numerous lakes table wine. It was nice, but not overly inspired. and rivers makes it an ideal spot for vineyards.

Our next stop was Inheritance Valley, the newest vineyard on We set out early in the morning, so with my wild and frenet- the tour. It was planted in 1997 and started producing in 2002. ic driving we made the trip in a little under thirty minutes - Inheritance’s most interesting selections were their ports. give or take two hours. I used to deliver pizza and have never We settled on one that began sweet and had a perfectly stunreally recovered any ning dark chocolate aftertaste.We sense of responsible also bought a traminette, and a driving. I told my pasdrier Illinois white table wine, senger to stop crying, made with traminette grapes !"#$%&'#$()*(&'+$),#) that we weren’t going instead of the more traditional to die, as I swerved %)*$*&-./#$)'0$12-3 chardonnay grapes. around fast turns, At Alto, the oldest winery in ./#(#/4$12'52,()6/# slammed on my brake Southern Illinois, we sampled their to avoid collisions, merlots and decided on their !"#$%&#'()*+(%,(-)7$8,(*$90&(2, and rotated Tom ‘Rocko Red.’ This is a semi-dry Waits, Iron and Wine, table wine named after the wineand Daft Punk. maker’s best friend who recently We arrived in one passed away. Accordingly, “This piece (told you we wouldn’t die!) on the wine was a promise made to Rocko…to make a wine big and ‘Shawnee Wine Trail - the route that connects friendly, just as he was.” We found the sentiment easier to swallow five award winning wineries: Alto, Owl Creek, than most of the wine we sampled at Alto, though. It was the least Pomona, Inheritance Valley, and Von Jakob friendly vineyard, quite a departure from the others.

Vineyards. Many tourists take a whole weekend to experience all five wineries. But heck, we’re WWW.SHAWNEEWINETRAIL.COM

’m a suburban girl, born and raised about a half hour north of Chicago. That means I am really only a half hour skip and a hop to Wisconsin. Therefore, growing up, everything was southern Illinois to me. Chicago, Champaign, Carbondale: All south…really, really south.

So basically, I associated southern Illinois as little more than those crazy Carbondale kids and cows. This all changed when I got to college and actually made friends with those silly southerners. One of them induced me, last week, to make the trek

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

DJ DJ Stiffler [80's hair metal] Tommy G's, 9pm, free Generic DJ Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8pm, TBA DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, electro] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Elise [house] Boltini, 10pm, free Solace: DJ Mertz [deep house] Soma, 10pm, free DJ Asiatic [hip hop] Nargile, 10pm Ladies Night featuring Luis Vasquez, DJ Res Tuly, DJ Black Ice [hip hop, dance, reggae, reggaeton, salsa] Nargile, 9pm, Ladies free before $9, Men $5

PHOTO CREDIT: Ted Veatch

G

reat news for theater goes in Illinois.That show you couldn't get tickets for is back. Wicked, that wonderful musical about the making of the Wicked Witch of the West, from Gregory Maguire's best selling novel, has returned to the Ford Oriental Theatre, and it is going to stay there until January 15, 2006.

I heard many complaints after my review of the national touring company in May that all performances for Wicked were pretty much sold out as soon as the play opened. There are reasons. First, this is a great piece of musical theater as adapted by Winnie Holzman (book) and Stephen Schwartz (music and lyrics). Second, it is superbly directed by Joe Mantello and choreographed by Wayne Cliento. Third, it has tremendous appeal to young audiences.

After the national touring company moved on, directors Mantello and Cliento stayed behind to stage an all Chicago cast that would stay put and maybe meet the incredible audience demand for this mar-

PHOTO • JOAN MARCUS

JEFFREY NELSON • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

13

s c e n e

THURSDAY Aug 11 Live Music Shovelrack White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, free Acoustic Music Series: Angie Heaton Aroma, 8pm, free Andrew Dixon Quartet Iron Post, 7-9pm, TBA Tribute to Summer Camp: Family Groove Company Canopy club, 10pm, $3 Eclectic Theory Joe’s Brewery, 6-9pm, 11pm-1am, free

Ume, The Narrator, Fireflies Cowboy Monkey, 9pm, $5 Tuesday, August 16 Triple Whip take the stage at Cowboy Monkey on Tuesday night. One of the most eclectic bands that Champaign-Urbana is lucky enough to call its own, they play their own mixture of indie, funk, and aspects of hip hop and jazz. The band begins recording a new 5-song EP at Mark Rubel’s Pogo Studio in Champaign this month.

Houston based band Ume joins Triple Whip at this show. This is their third visit to C-U and is almost to the one year anniversary of their local debut. Their music is a mixture of passion and dissonance and it’s said that their live show is not to be missed.

The Chicago band The Narrator is also known for its fiery live shows. They release their first full length “Such Triumph” on Flameshovel records in late June to some critical acclaim.

Fireflies is C-U newest up and coming group. They bring the indie rock with a substantial helping of sound experimentation. It should be very interesting to see how this band progresses over time.

--Cassie Conne

Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke The Cheezy Trio [live band karaoke] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 Dancing UIUC Swing Society McKinley Foundation 9:30pm-12am, free Health and Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign, 8pm, $7$9 Belly Dance for Fitness Gold’s Gym, Champaign, 7:30pm, $7-$9 Group Meditation Ananda Liina, 2308 N. High Cross Rd. Urbana, 5:30pm, free Wine Tasting Krannert Uncorked Krannert Art Center Lobby 5pm, free Kids & Family Funfare [stories, songs, puppets, and films for children and their caregivers] Urbana Free Library, 10:30-11am, free

Bow-Dacious String Band [youth string band playing folk music from around the world, hoedowns and movie hits] Urbana Free Library, 12-1pm, free Lectures, Meetings, Workshops Joan Embery’s Wild Life: The Fun, the Reality, the Future [hear Embery talk about the highlights of her career with wild animals and discuss the future of conservation] College of Veterinary Medicine Large Animal Clinic Auditorium, 7pm, free FRIDAY Aug 12 Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Eclectic Theory The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Matt Warnock Duo [jazz] Mike n' Molly's, 5-7pm, $3 Kevin Hart Quartet Iron Post, 5-7pm, TBA Billy Galt Tommy G's, 5-7pm, free Roger Cler [acoustic/rock] Cowboy Monkey, 5:30pm, free Pocket Big Band [jazz] The Highdive, 5:30-7:30pm, $3 Barb Hamilton Band Iron Post, 9pm, TBA The Delta Kings [blues] The Phoenix, 9pm, free Torg, Indianapolis Public Drunks, We Are Timebomb Youth, Salesman, Boots and Bracelets [punk] The Ugly Puppy, 9pm, $6 Dropsixx, Justify the Means, Ditchwater, Still Heart Conspiracy Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 JAB [hard rock/new rock covers] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover DJ DJ Lil Big Bass [drum n bass, 2 step] Boltini, 10pm, free DJ Elise [house, broken beat] Boltini, 6-10pm, free DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm-2am, TBA DJ Bonsu, DJ Impact [hip hop, Chicago deep house] Nargile, 9pm, free before 11pm, $5 after DJ Delayney [hip hop, soul] Barfly, 10pm, free CFK [house] Chester St., 10pm, TBA DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10:30pm, $5 Dancing Tango Dancing Lesson [coordinated by Joe Grohens] Verde Gallery, 7pm, $5

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO LIST A POSTING E-MAIL CALENDAR@READBUZZ.COM BY SUNDAY NIGHT. s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

!"#$%

sound ground #88

ARE YOU READY TO TALK ABOUT BREASTS AGAIN.

this week in music

TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

A

z e r b a i j a n i - A m e r i c a n studio tr io Foreign Accent has developed its 2004 demo Pardon My French into an album already available at Borders and Record Swap.

“Foreign Accent’s music, though deeply rooted in the American musical idiom and harking back to the classic rock and pop of the 1970s, contains a plethora of exotic spices and unexpected twists and turns.”

Although no release show is scheduled, more information is available at foreign-accent.com. Foreign Accent is Djavid Novrouzov and Robert Howerton (Illinois) and William Frenkel (New York).

Thursday, Angie Heaton returns to Arôma for a free show at 8 p.m. Afterward,The Chemicals and Scurvine rock out at Brass Rail.The Chemicals are at work on a debut EP at Studio G with Justin Hedrick of The Respondent. Saturday in the beer garden at Mike ‘n Molly’s, The Respondent (ex-The Frame) headlines with heavy new quartet Below Eden and Stood Up. Show time is 10 p.m., and cover is $4.

Sunday, Cowboy Monkey spotlights six acoustic acts for its second Best of Open Mic Showcase:

c

d

r

e

Darrin Drda’s Theory of Everything, Doxy, Brandon T. Washington, Mike Ingram, C. King, and Joanna Michal. Show time is 9:30 p.m., and cover is $5. Also Sunday at 9:30 p.m., Tommy G’s Bar and Grill hosts Sick Day, Black Light Rebels, and Heavy Handed.

This show is free.

Tuesday at Cowboy Monkey, Triple Whip plays with Ume, The Narrator, and FireFlies. Show time is 9 p.m., and cover is $5. Wednesday at The Canopy Club, Pulsar47 aligns with Iowans, 7 Inch Wave and Marah Mar. This is the last spate of 7 Inch Wave shows for a while because Danomatika (Dan Wilcox) got into grad school in Sweden.

Show time is 9 p.m., and cover is $5.

Correction: Elsinore visits August 15 for WEFT Sessions and August 18 for Acoustic @ Arôma. In Sound Ground #86, the two were transposed.

Todd J. Hunter hosts WEFT Sessions and Champaign Local 901, two hours of live local music every Monday night at 10 p.m. on 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com.

v

i

e

AU G . 11

•

1 7 , 2 OO5

THE HURLYBURLY

Chicago power-pop favorites OK Go recently released details about their new album, “Oh No,” due out August 30. Lead singer, Damian Kulash, describes the album: “Our first record was basically a studio project; we wanted it to be gleaming and shameless and plastic and hooky and happy. This time around we tried to leave a little more space. We left more grit and applied less polish.” As excited as we are about this, we are not excited about the fact that they will tour with Chicagoan labelmates, The Redwalls, and completely skip over the windy city-Diss!

Neptunes producer, Pharell Williams, recently worked with the son of “Growing Pains” star Alan Thicke, according to MTV News. U2 lead singer, Bono, suggested the pair make a record together, one that ended up being the first single, called “Wanna Love you Girl”. Pharell describes the song: “This record, you put it on with your girl, it’s a wrap. She’s naked.” Gotta love those “getting the ladies naked” songs. Men, take notes.

A photographer was shot in the leg with a pellet gun outside MOMENT OF THE WEEK the home of Britney Spears on Saturday evening, according to Yahoo!News and authorities. The deathly assassin is unknown at this point, but an officer said, “It could’ve been somebody driving by, walking by, we have no idea where it came from.” says Lt. Steve.

w H at tH e He L L?

AU G . 11

•

1 7 , 2 OO5

13

ar tist’s corner

&'()*+,-)#,)

Sven went to College at Trinity in Palos Heights, IL where he majored in Studio Art with a focus on Sculpture and Photography, and General Music with a focus on Composition. After graduating in 1999, He came to Champaign to pursue other interests. It wasn’t until 2004 that he would begin to work again with painting. He has had a few shows in the downtown area in the last year. Starting in September he has a 4 month show at the Savoy Recreational Center.

strung all over the walls and ceiling of the gallery, connected to several motion detectors set on an 8 second timer so as people walked through the gallery the area around them would light up. On the floor of the gallery was a silhouette of a tree made out of gravel. It was a really cool piece that I did during exam week. Students would come in and study in the gallery on the floor because it was so relaxing. I don’t know if it was the greatest piece that I ever did but it seemed to connect with the most people.

What piece are you most proud of and why?

Forms of Beauty, this was a piece that I did while I was in college. This piece consisted of 3,000 white Christmas lights

What inspires you?

It is everyday things; the interaction of everyday objects and shapes. I love to feel like a moment of emotion takes over and I lose a part of me to the moment. I am a person that likes to feel like I am empowered by my own emotion. It is the everyday things that have this true quality, it is the usual everyday things that seem unobserved and taken for granted.

What is your favorite quote?

w

“And then, something happened. I let go.

Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom.” – Narrator, Fight Club

Theory of Everything ’Evolution of the ’Art

Who have you been influenced by?

(Independent)

Recently I have been listening to Bright Eyes, the words and vocals are so honest I want to emulate that honesty in my own work. Really in a sense I would like to create images that mean something to me instead of creating something just for the masses, hopefully by maintaining the honesty in my work it will have more meaning to those that appreciate my work.

BY SUSAN SCHOMBURG

If you’re looking for good, clean, non-partisan rock,Theory of Everything is definitely not the band for you. If, however, you like a shifting palette of tonal colors and musical styles complementing clear, politically conscious lyrics, you might just like them.

The local band, fronted by local scenester and open-mic star Darrin Drda, who describes their sound as “space folk,” has recently completed a self-released album,“Evolution of the ’Art”.

The use of wind instruments on the album’s rollicking opener, “Deathmobile,” a sardonic tribute to SUVs, as well as on the selfexplanatory “Democrazy!” provides a nice contrast in timbre from some of the slower songs, which feature the more delicate flute and glockenspiel. The album’s title track, “(r)Evolution of the (he)Art,” is reminiscent of a slow groove song of the sort that Traffic did so well, and contains an almost mantra-like chant,“The heart is a muscle the size of your fist/You’ve got to keep loving, rise up and resist,” which would be really cool live, but which (perhaps) goes on a bit too long on the recording.

The disco-tinged guitar and thumping bass counterpoint on “Never Gonna Buy It” provides a beat that gets under the skin, and the almost-too-perky “Hug A Republican” not only has some of the funniest lyrics on the album, but invites the listener to join in the music-making. The group also plays a track that can only be described as amplified country music on speed (“Wait and See”), and the vocals-if a description is really necessary-especially on “Note to Self,” sound not unlike Ben Folds with a mild reverb effect.

All in all, there is not a bad song on the album and like Theory of Everything’s live shows—is definitely worth the price of admission.

What mediums have you worked with outside of painting?

In college when I had a gallery to work with, I was able to

create installations in the gallery. My installations utilized rocks, paint, dictionary pages, chains, nails, chairs, beds, etc.

I tried to make interactive pieces that people could walk into and feel like they were a part of the piece.Art is not just visual, it is a social event.

For more information, please check out Svens websie: www.Svenmusic.com

WINE CONNOISSEUR C O N T I N U E D F RO M PA G E

12

Our next stop was the Von Jakob family wineries.They had quite a larger set-up than the previous three. The main building, where we tasted, had a large reception room adjacent to a ballroom. The bartender (shouldn’t there be a fancier name?

I mean come on, those silly kids working at Starbucks get to be called ‘barristers,’ maybe something along the line of ‘wine concierge!) was setting up for a wedding when we arrived.

The ballroom opened onto a large patio which overlooked acre after acre of rolling hills covered in vines. I’m not crazy into wedding stuff, but for about ten minutes I had visions of taffeta, satin, and tons of presents.

Our last stop was Pomona.This winery is the wine-maker’s retirement dream made reality. It is a small operation, but by far the best. The wine tasting area was simple and completely comfortable. The older owner was extremely fun, friendly, and informative. He gave us a lot of great meal advice to accompany our selected wines. He explained how his Jonathan Apple White Wine is not only a great accompaniment for a salmon dinner, it can actually be used as a marinade or to sauté! His vineyard had quite the alternative feel as well: completely grapeless. So you may be asking, what is

Theory of Everything will be playing this Sunday, August 14, at 9:30 at the Cowboy Monkey with $5 cover. TOE appears as part of a “Best Of Open Mic”showcase.

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

buzz weekly •

WHOOP THAT TRICK!! HUSTLE & FLOW.

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

wine without the grapes? Delicious! He explained to us that all fruits can be fermented and turned into wine. His fruit of choice was apples.We tried our most delicious wine yet, a Kir (pronounced Keer) made of 85% apple wine and 15% black currant wine.This blush wine is first sweet, due to the apples, but has a surprising, deliciously tart aftertaste, because of the currants.

We also bought their ‘Golden Reserve,’ a semi-sweet wine made from southern Illinois apples and aged in American oak.This is where wine tasting becomes really interesting. We tried the same wine aged in French oak and could really pick out the different tones. Six hours and we feel like wine connoisseurs.

Ok, maybe we aren’t wine connoisseurs quite yet. We probably need at least one more six hour frenetic wine tasting, adventure to become experts but we certainly know a lot more. In any case it sure beat picking out a random bottle from Mejer and hoping for the best.

So experience some tasty intoxicating culture. Go to Krannert’s wine tastings, you won’t regret it. Check out local wines at Sunsinger on Windsor, or at Friar Tuck’s on Neil Street. Make the trip down to the Shawnee Wine Trail. Support local agriculture and get some great wine in the process!

WWW.SHAWNEEWINETRAIL.COM

8 • buzz weekly

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

I© m sorry Dave, I© m afraid I can© t do that.

YOU ARE THE MUSIC WHILE THE MUSIC LASTS. - t.s. eliot

!"#$%$&''()$"$*+",-$./0**-0

A NEW FACE AT THE COURTYARD KYLE GORMAN • MUSIC EDITOR

TIM PETERS • STAFF WRITER

I

t was summertime stop-and-go traffic on the inbound lane to Chicago. The windows were shut, the air conditioning made everyone forget the gray haze and simmering heat of the highway.

Once downtown, dwarfed by towering tributes to commerce and technology, we raced into the parking garage and then back out, on foot. Winding through the anonymous masses on the sidewalks and streets, the hustling herds marching from work to play - or play to work, we reached the cinema, the Gene Siskel Film Center on State Street.

Indoors, amidst the cold, filtered air and tidy, postmodern décor, we bought our tickets and headed into the darkness of the theater. Our eyes stubbornly adapted to the low light as we peered for seats through the packed aisles. The stark, profound and deep title card loomed behind us: “The Dawn of Man”.

In this summer of 2005, a movie about a bygone future, a film famous for its abstraction and grace, 2001: A Space Odyssey, was still filling the seats.

The Siskel Film Center typically designs its schedules around monthly themes. Many of these involve broad topics: Hungarian Cinema, Music Movies, The Black Harvest Festival, to name a few. However, this July and into August, the theater chose a much more specific subject: “Stanley Kubrick: American Master”.

The retrospective included thirteen films, all shown with 35mm prints. The range of the works started with the 1955 Killers Kiss, a black-and-white noir crime thriller, and spanned all the way to 1999’s darkly erotic Eyes Wide Shut and the 2001, Spielberg-directed and Kubrick-conceived A.I. Artificial Intelligence.

For most college-aged students today, Kubrick’s films have always had a place in the American cinematic canon. The only Kubrick-created films to be released within the past 15 years were Eyes Wide Shut and A.I. Artificial Intelligence. It was thus a unique experience to watch some of his films on the silver screen, amongst a theatre audience. It also provided an opportunity to reflect why this director is worthy of a designation like “master”.

Kubrick began his career in the visual arts with photography. The New York-raised youth had already sold a picture to Look magazine before graduating high school. He went to work for Look and traveled within the U.S. and abroad as a photographer.

At one point, as a Chicago Tribune article pointed out earlier this summer, Kubrick was assigned to photograph a story about the Windy City. The text was written by the legendary Sun-Times columnist Irv Kupcinet, entitled, tritely enough, “Chicago: City of Contrasts”. The black-and-white imagery is a harbinger of the look of his early films like The Killing, Paths of Glory, and Dr. Strangelove.

Within the photos, there is a dichoto-

mous presentation of Chicagoans. In some pictures, we see themes of urban alienation and anonymity via shadowy crowds, backlit by bright lights and surrounded by mechanized technology. However, other shots depict well-lit faces, painted with emotive expressions.

These photographs, still available online, are microcosmic of Kubrick’s skill: the novel visual expression of fascinating narratives and sophisticated ideas.

Most of Kubrick’s movies were based off novels. His films, not surprisingly, are literature-in-motion. They unfold like the vivid imagery of one’s imagination while reading a story.

The look of a Kubrick film is a confluence of abstract ideas and manifest emotions. The lighting, camera angles, movement, mise en scéne and editing all cohere as one to create lasting, powerful scenes and moments.

This is evidenced by a quick look for a Stanley Kubrick-related poster. Rather than just the

stock movie print, many a Kubrick poster will be an unlabeled still, nothing more than what was displayed onscreen. Within the dynamic medium of film, the finicky director could forge single instances of profundity and beauty; in one image express the ideas of the whole work.

Thematically, his films have been meditations on a mélange of topics. From the dehumanization of man via technology, to the criminal and free will, to the indulgences of the leisure class, and more, nothing has proven too abstruse as subject matter.

Beyond just presenting these heavy ideas, Kubrick has often used his work to loudly express his opinions. Dr. Strangelove is a fierce comedic satire of war games and Cold War politics.

While in A Clockwork Orange, Kubrick filmed an ending in strong contrast to novelist Anthony Burgess’ original conclusion of the source novel. As could be expected, Kubrick’s finish to the story spun a rather different message about criminality, reform, and free choice.

His creations often pushed the boundaries of propriety and comfort. The most famous example, again, A Clockwork Orange, received an X rating and was banned in multiple countries due to its graphic and somewhat sardonic rape scenes.

In its own way, and as “Stanley Kubrick: American Master” so displayed, 2001: A Space Odyssey still tests the limits of audience patience. The so-called space opera features scenes that, well, drag on, and on, and on. But not only do the scenes stretch on in time, they often do so in total silence. Such a style was used in order to mimic, probably to just a small degree, the requisite exactitude and numbing boredom of life in space.

The viewing experience is much altered when sitting in a crowded theater. The muted sequences cause the slightest noise: shifting one’s position, coughing, or, personally, dropping a Skittle on the floor, to almost jarringly disrupt the film.

However, this social element, a collective gathering for the enjoyment of art, is a vital juxtaposition to 2001’s vast loneliness and sterile isolation.

Kubrick was facilitating in that he was granted creative control and generous big studio funding for the better part of his career. Though his output was small compared to most well-known directors, it is clear he paid attention to fine details and nuances. His films nearly overflow with content: unforgettable imagery, intelligent ideas, and, most evidently, the affective characters and narratives. buzz

ILLUSTRATION • OBUMNEME ASOTA

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

I

n the ‘90s, what was once an outdoor space in the Illini Union was enclosed, and the Courtyard Cafe (now simply the “Courtyard”) was born. The Courtyard has since become an often-exciting venue for music lovers, hosting show by acts such as Bright Eyes,The City On Film, and Ted Leo and The Pharmacists, in addition to regular cultural programming.

Managing the venue (a role which includes booking all the events) is a common thread for important local voices, including Heather Zydek (Joyful Sorrow, Isidore Records), John Hoeffleur (The Beauty Shop) and Brian Mertz (AKA DJ Mertz). Jessica Horn, 25, hopes to build on past successes of others in her role as the Courtyard manager.

Arriving in Champaign in 1998, Horn completed her undergraduate degree in Economics and Political science, and after a brief stint working for the United Way in Kankakee, she has returned to study for her M.A. in African Studies, not to mention what Jessica Horn onstage at the Courtyard Cafe. she accurately describes as ChampaignUrbana’s unique ability to host “larger acts at smaller venues She describes it the Courtyard as “a hub for students and the for less amounts of money,” in comparison with other towns. University committee to come to on different nights: they can Her skills in details honed at an office position with the see different types of entertainment whether or not it’s their United Way, this “just a fan” became more than a fan when she peers and other students performing for them…or a competitive had the opportunity to book her first-ever show, featuring a venue with the bars in town.”

A more-reasonable age-limit, earlier curtain times, and the popular CU rock band.

“I booked one show in Kankakee for the Young Democrats fresh air and bright lights of the space itself distinguish the of Kankakee County – I did a fundraising show – and actually Courtyard from what it’s designed to combat – the persuasive Shipwreck came up.” Equally comfortable in the large 1950s influence of bar culture in town. Though it doesn’t look like a union hall and in a cozy Mexican bar downstairs, Shipwreck was normal club nor does it exhibit many of the fixtures of a concert the perfect fit for the benefit, and a tribute to Jessica’s latent abil- venue, Jessica casts that in a positive light.

“When you’re coming here, you’re coming here for the ities. She is an obvious fit for the Courtyard: not only is she familiar with the club-like entertainment she’s to book on the bands, you’re coming here for the music.”

Jessica has also invested time working with booking agents weekends (Thursday through Saturday), she also has a first-hand knowledge of the cultural programming and culturally oriented around town to help create a “unified front” for ChampaignRegistered Organizations (ROs) the Courtyard hosts on week- Urbana, making the statement that this town is a worthwhile, if days as a result of her experiences in Women’s Studies and a posi- not essential, stop for upcoming bands who want to hit it big.

Unlike those other booking agents, though, Jessica isn’t solely tion at the Study Abroad office.

Bob Conrad, the Multimedia Dept. manager for the Illini responsible for generating ticket sales to compensate for concert Union, who oversees the Courtyard’s operations, says that the expenses (the Courtyard works off a yearly budget for programCourtyard was born out of the Illini Union’s hopes to provide ming and performances), but rather she’s charged with opening the hearts and minds of students to the unique cultural opportucultural simulation befitting the University.

“Part of the reason for creating the space was to create a space nities that exist in Champaign-Urbana.

“The income that comes in is not connected to our budget,” on campus where we can do quality entertainment comperable to what students are able to see at the local clubs and bars but in she says. This means that her role is less Bill Graham and more an alcohol free and smoke-free atmosphere,” explained Conrad. curator, and she takes her “arbiter of culture” function seriously, Jessica mentions the community element of the Courtyard, appreciating how critical the transition between high school and where students can learn from their peers as well as national stars. college can be for one’s sense of aesthetics.

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

“College is really the time that a lot of students are figuring out who they are, what their interests are, kind of nailing those things down about their personalities without, sort of, the heavy or light hand of their parents, and so this is a time they’re able to explore a lot of opportunities. Maybe they’ve always wanted to learn how to tango, always wanted to hear jazz music, or hip-hop music, or really great indie rock, and we’re hear to provide that to them as a service...they can go here any night of the week and have great entertainment.”

Planning for the upcoming year has progressed rapidly, with over a dozen shows already announced.

Every Monday this year, Spicy Clamato and DeBono will be perfoming improv comedy, and Tuesday might be home to UC HipHop’s b-boys and girls teaching and practicing break-dancing. On the weekends, Horn will be highlighting the best and the upcoming in area and national music, all on the University’s dollar, with affordable ticket prices, and in a smokeand alcohol-free environment.

“I’m trying to put local bands on all the nights of music, as well as having a lot of Chicgo and other regional acts coming in...as well as having touring bands coming through.”

You can expect to hear some mind-expanding performances this year: Headphones, a side project of Pedro The Lion, Fatlip (of Pharcyde), and other newer acts are going to be featured.

Much like the ones Jessica saw as an undergraduate, listeners can expect shows to be learning experiences.

“What I remember, coming here, is I wouldn’t necessarily know all the bands (I’m 19 and I’m learning about all the music) and being able to come to Courtyard...it was kind of one of those places that I was able to explore and really kind of hone in on my own musical taste.”

“I wanted to book music I wanted to see,” Horn explains, adding that she also wants to bring in acts the University community will enjoy. It’s reasonable to assume that this means vital and exciting performances will be the norm at this year’s Courtyard. buzz PHOTO • DAVID SOLANA

STANLEY KUBRICK: THE EYE OF AN ARTIST

The first concert at the Courtyard this year is Ireland’s Dudley Corporation on Thursday, Aug. 25th, followed by Headphones (with local opener Headlights) on the following Saturday.

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

HE CAN’T BE THAT WEIRD, HE’S WEARING NIKES.

AU G . 11

•

1 7 , 2 OO5

5

it will for gobs of other women,” says Thompson, sharing the mindset of many females just beginning exercise routines.

Once a goal is set, a personal trainer and a dietician work together to design a nutrition and fitness plan to get each user to their ideal body shape. Other factors that might effect progress, such as smoking, eating habits and family medical history, are also kept in mind during the process. When all things are considered, iPower is able to give an exact date saying when, if everything is followed, the user will achieve the results she wants.

“We can’t know what to do with you or what your needs are until we know this stuff—it takes the guess work out,” says iPower staff member India Boodram. iPower likes to see each member in the gym at least three times a week, but they also understand that for some people, it might not be possible—if people always ate healthy and worked out regularly, there would be no need for a center like iPower.

That’s why staffers ask realistic questions like “How many days a week do you really plan to work out,” and “Is there going to be a few days a week when you won’t want to stick to your diet?” As Thompson says, iPower allows cheat days.

“I always tell people ‘every once in a while you can rock the boat, just don’t jump off ’,” says Cox.

T

Todd Lawler, STRIVE Smart Strength representative, explains the purpose of equipment during I-Power's grand opening. opening. Even at 11 years old, Lister understands the importance of physical activity.

“You’re not just sitting down like you would on a PS2—you can exercise while having fun,” Lister says.

Her mother, Deb Lister, only allows Haley to play games that require some sort of physical movement.

“DDR gets her moving, she loves it, she’s working out, but it’s not coming from that kind of mindset,” says Mrs. Lister, who also likes the idea of a gym where she can workout alongside Haley.“She can come to the gym with me, she can work on the equipment.This is a great idea to get kids moving.”

At iPower’s grand opening, Powell, dressed in a fuchsia and

black nylon sweat suit, gave tours of the facility and explained iPower’s mission to provide complete fitness and nutritional counseling. She walked from machine to machine, explaining how it works and what purpose it serves to curious families.

“We like to call this Sam the Snorkel,” she laughs, displaying a tall, slender machine with the style of one of Barker’s Beauties.

Sam the Snorkel is actually a biometric scale, called BioMeasure, that iPower uses as the first step in their nine point fitness examination required of all members.

BioMeasure, which another staff member called “a giant electric toothbrush,” records a user’s height, weight and body mass index and saves it on a wallet-sized SmartCard. Each iPower member receives her own SmartCard, which can store up to 100 readings. After every use, the BioMeasure prints out a receipt listing today’s results along with those of the last 10 uses. This way, the cardholder can monitor any improvements or setback from their last measurements.

“Of course, it’s all very private. It has to be. If you’re a fanatic about that kind of thing—I am—it’s important to know. I supposed if I was a size six, I’d say ‘Let everyone see!’” says Powell, adding that all the windows in the building are tinted to keep people from looking in. iPower’s nine-point fitness test is the first step in helping their patrons achieve their goals. Besides BioMeasure, iPower’s testing

•

1 7 , 2 OO5

buzz weekly •

REDRUM, REDRUM, REDRUM...

15

BROKEN FLOWERS

iPOWER C O N T I N U E D F RO M PA G E

AU G . 11

o compliment iPower’s fitness center, the other side of the building houses Nutrition @Work, a nutritional supplement store complete with drive-through window for quick access to any item in the store.

Nutrition @Work offers a variety of protein shakes, vitamin smoothies and other healthy alternatives at prices comparable to a fast food meal. Patrons can put in a standing order to have their favorite item ready for pick-up at the window at the same time everyday. Orders can also be made online and picked up later.

Even with all the resources iPower and Nutrition @Work offer women and children, the choice is to live a healthier life must be made outside the gym doors as well.

“It’s going to have to become a combined effort to really watch out for the children.We can bring a kid in here, train him and teach him about nutrition, but when they go home, we can’t control that,” says Cox. The staff at iPower knows what it’s like to be in their member’s shoes and they’re ready to help turn things around.

As Thompson puts it, “We want people to lose weight in a healthy way, even if it takes four years. This is one of the only fields of work that you can actually help someone in the long run.

All of us have such a passion for people, we just want to help.” buzz

PAUL PRIKAZSKY • LEAD REVIEWER

A

n unlikely bond was forged when indie director Jim Jarmusch and comedic god Bill Murray joined forces.

Renowned for his infamously low budgets and meandering narrative structure, Jarmusch has consistently worked outside the Hollywood bubble, insisting on creative freedom and barnstorming the film festival circuit. On the other hand, Murray once was a box office behemoth, known strictly for his comedic prowess, until recently gaining recognition for his dramatic work.

Would it be a match made in heaven? Or the worst combo since Britney Spears and reality TV? The two may be on opposite sides of the film spectrum, but their mutual taste in stone-faced humor makes the Jarmusch/Murray pairing one filled with golden possibilities.

Don Johnston’s (Bill Murray) latest girlfriend, Sherry (Julie Delpy), has just left him. He is left with nothing to do but sulk and watch TV all day, when something radical slips through his mail slot. He receives a pink, type-written letter which reveals he has a son. The letter is anonymous and though Don pretends he doesn’t care, the thought of fatherhood scares the hell out of him.

With the encouragement of mystery aficionado, Winston (Jeffrey Wright), Don reluctantly embarks on a journey to discover if he truly has a son or if someone’s messing with him. Don visits his former flames (Sharon Stone, Frances Conroy, Jessica Lange and Tilda Swinton) looking for some clue—namely a type-writer and pink stationary—to see if his son actually exists.As the over-thehill Don Juan floats through the panorama of American

back roads and airports, he is forced to reexamine his life of womanizing and perpetual solitude.

Jarmusch is the undisputed master of the road-movie, wherein a lost soul traverses the path of discovery to achieve a greater self-understanding. He’s delivered variations of the ideas and characters he created in Broken Flowers with his neo-Western, Dead Man and the indie touchstone, Stranger than Paradise. Jarmusch’s story—simplistic and melancholy— is somewhat of a rarity in Hollywood these days. Instead of churning out another remake or bland comic book adaptation, the maverick filmmaker has crafted a wonderfully heartfelt misadventure.

Greatness was so close in this film, it could be tasted.

I guess Jarmusch just didn’t like the taste. His fiercely independent style seems like the stubborn work of a juvenile film student. He uses static camera shots which are visually uninteresting and the editing is lackadaisical at best.

On the other hand, the writing and direction are in top form. A funny movie that doesn’t try too hard to be funny is indeed a rarity in Hollywood.The quartet of actresses that portray Don’s former flames ignite the screen with a warmth and exuberance unmatched in their previous roles.

Broken Flowers has a very subtle sense of humor. It kind of sneaks up on you when you least expect it. And if you blink too soon, you’ll probably miss it. It has enough quirk and charm to be funny, but not knee-slappingly so. Murray has opted to play out his deadpan comedic sensibilities instead of milking his character for cheap laughs. Don Johnston may not be as well-developed as Herman Blume (another Murray creation) from Rushmore, but it’s a testament to Murray’s maturity as an actor to deal with increasingly dramatic subject matter and still make the audience smile.

BROKEN FLOWERS • BILL MURRAY

Murray drifts through Broken Flowers in an emotionless haze. He portrays Don as an exhausted bachelor, trying to move forward with his lonely life and disregard problems from the past. Likewise, it’s fitting that Murray seems tired of his younger, goofier persona from Caddyshack and Stripes and has evolved into a wizened actor, fully aware of his comic gifts.

Broken Flowers won the Grand Prize at the Cannes Film Festival, which it justly deserved. A film that relies solely on story and its characters is always a cause for celebration.

Even though the mundane atmosphere bogs down the unique film, the substance outweighs its style. Don Johnston is a womanizer—essentially not a very likable guy, but Murray imbues a certain indescribable quality in him that makes him likable. And let’s face it; Bill Murray could make reading the paper hilarious.

WWW.BROKENFLOWERS.COM

6 • buzz weekly

Greatness was so close in this film, it could be tasted.

room is equipped with state-of-the art technology to help the staff pinpoint the best—meaning safest and most realistic—way to achieve results. This includes finding your resting metabolic heart rate, which shows exactly how many calories your body needs, and completing a treadmill test to see what your body can handle.

“The testing facility allows us to fingerprint the needs of the individual. We can figure out where they are now as opposed to where they want to be,” says Cox. From here, all the information is entered into the Virtual Fitness Planner, a computer application that creates a shockingly realistic 3-D image of your body. Users can adjust their model to be a more accurate representation of their body by adding fat or muscle where needed. While some might feel they carry more weight in the middle, others see it in their lower body. Some may feel that their thighs are thicker, but their upper body is all muscle. Everything is adjustable.

Next,the user designs another figure depicting what they want their body to look like. Combining all the dats, the iPower staff is able to determine a safe rate of weight loss that is completely attainable without compromising one’s health. Everything is done with the member’s safety in mind.

For visual thinkers, seeing an image of their current body shape side-by-side with an ideal but realistic figure is the best motivation imaginable. Users can even have the pictures printed out to hold on to—good for some people who want to stick it to the fridge or keep close at hand.

“I’m such a visual person, I need instant gratification. If I can see a before and after, I say, ‘Oh my gosh, I want to look like that!’

It really motivates me and I’m sure I-Power founder Sharlyne Powell demonstrates a biometric measuring machine at the facility's grand opening.

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

16 â&#x20AC;˘ b u z z w e e k l y

AU G . 11

HEREâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S JOHNNY!

â&#x20AC;˘

1 7 , 2 OO5

To say that

DUKES OF HAZZARD MUST LOVE DOGS (PGĂą 13) Fri. 1:45 4:45 7:10 9:30 11:40 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:45 4:45 7:10 9:30 Sat. 11:15 1:45 4:45 7:10 9:30 11:40 SKY HIGH (PG) Fri. 1:55 4:25 7:15 9:40 11:55 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:55 4:25 7:15 9:40 Sat. 11:30 1:55 4:25 7:15 9:40 11:55 â&#x2014;&#x2020; DEUCE BIGALOW (R) Fri. 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:15 9:20 11:35 Sat. 11:00 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:15 9:20 11:35 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:15 9:20 FOUR BROTHERS (R) Fri. 1:40 4:15 7:05 9:35 12:05 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:40 4:15 7:05 9:35 Sat. 11:15 1:40 4:15 7:05 9:35 12:05 BAD NEWS BEARS (PGĂą 13) Fri. 1:30 4:00 7:05 9:35 12:05 Sat. 11:00 1:30 4:00 7:05 9:35 12:05 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:30 4:00 7:05 9:35 BATMAN BEGINS (PGĂą 13) Fri. & Sat. 1:10 4:05 7:00 9:50 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:10 4:05 7:00 9:50 MARCHâ&#x2030; PENGUINS (G) Fri. 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 9:30 11:30 Sat. 11:30 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 9:30 11:30 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 9:30

DAVID JUST â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

T

he Dukes of Hazzard is like a live action cartoon. Nothing seems to be quite real and the characters are immune to the consequences of their actions.This is not the filmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s flaw, or a flaw at all really. No, the filmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s flaw is simply that it isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t funny or entertaining.

The movie, directed by Jay Chandrasekhar (Super Troopers, Club Dread), follows two cousins, Bo and Luke Duke (Seann William Scott, Johnny Knoxville) who are â&#x20AC;&#x153;closer than brothers.â&#x20AC;? Considering the circumstances, Bo is probably Johnnyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cousin, brother, father, and nephew. The film doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t extend into such detail, though. In fact, details of any kind are mostly exempt. Details like:Who are these people? What are they doing?

Why do we care?

Basically, Boss Hogg (Burt Reynolds), who somehow owns the town and the police, wants to turn Hazard County into a coal mine. But Bo and Luke, with the help of another cousin, Daisy Duke (Jessica Simpson), Uncle Jesse (Willie Nelson), and General Lee, their Dodge Charger with the Confederate Flag emblazoned on the roof, take the law into their own hands to

many calories is like saying that the only cause of the

stop them. If the film had stuck purely to the Southern humor found in Uncle Jesseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s joke â&#x20AC;&#x153;Why are divorces so expensive? â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Cause theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re worth it!,â&#x20AC;? the film may have succeeded.

An item from the Hazzard County Road Rally called â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hillbilly wind chimesâ&#x20AC;? that consists of four strings with empty beer cans tied to the end is also a nice touch.

Considering Jessica Simpson is the filmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s main attraction, it is surprising how brief her scenes are, and how infre- DUKES OF HAZZARD â&#x20AC;˘ JESSICA SIMPSON quently she is used in the film.

She is perhaps the main reason this film is rest of The Dukes of Hazzard. Outtakes from going to generate a big audience, or any Sophieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Choice and Philadelphia were probaaudience at all. But throughout the film, bly funnier than these.

Simpson is brushed aside in favor of Bo, The Dukes of Hazard fits right in with Luke, and their girlfriends, and brought in the rest of the remakes and retreads only for a moment at a time to flaunt her Hollywood has spit out this summer. cleavage. Thus, even the audience the film Whoever thought weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d get to the point is targeting is going to be disappointed by where we were making sequels of remakes, what the film offers. or remakes of sequels? Dukes is not stupid The film became an even bigger disap- enough to be funny, and thus, not funny pointment during the credits. Outtakes enough to be good. I spent the first half from the filming rolled, which can normal- trying to figure out what was going on, ly be the redeeming quality of even terrible and the second half trying to figure out films. But, alas, they were as unfunny as the why I cared in the first place.

American Revolution was the !"#$"%& '()& *)+$,. !"#$$#%&'()*%+%!,#-).'/%012-)2)3/)*2%'/"%4-)2#-

iPOWER: RESHAPING C-Uâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S WOMEN AND CHILDREN

WARNER BROTHERS

CHARLIE & CHOCOLATE (PG) Fri. 1:00 1:30 4:00 4:30 7:00 9:35 12:00 Sat. 11:00 1:00 1:30 4:00 4:30 7:00 9:35 12:00 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:00 1:30 4:00 4:30 7:00 9:35 WEDDING CRASHERS (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:20 4:15 7:00 7:10 9:30 9:50 12:00 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:20 4:15 7:00 7:10 9:30 9:50 WAR OF WORLDS (PGĂą 13) Fri. 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:40 12:15 Sat. 11:15 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:40 12:15 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:40 STEALTH (PGĂą 13) Fri. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:55 FANTASTIC FOUR (PGĂą 13) Fri. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:45 12:00 Sat. 11:00 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:45 12:00 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:45 THE ISLAND (PGĂą 13) Fri. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:00 10:00 DUKES OF HAZZARD (PGĂą 13) Fri. 1:00 1:30 1:45 3:25 4:15 4:30 5:50 7:00 7:15 8:15 9:30 9:45 10:40 12:00 Sat. 11:15 1:00 1:30 1:45 3:25 4:15 4:30 5:50 7:00 7:15 8:15 9:30 9:45 10:40 12:00 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:00 1:30 1:45 3:25 4:15 4:30 5:50 7:00 7:15 8:15 9:30 9:45 SKELETON KEY (PGĂą 13) Fri. 1:55 4:30 7:10 9:40 12:05 Sun. â&#x2030; Thu. 1:55 4:30 7:10 9:40 Sat. 11:10 1:55 4:30 7:10 9:40 12:05

ERIN SCOTTBERG â&#x20AC;˘ AROUND TOWN EDITOR

W Dukes is not stupid enough to be funny, and thus, not funny enough to be good

Showtimes for 8/12 thru 8/18

3!6/9 WWW SAVOY COM

!,, $)')4!, 34%2%/ ./ 0!33%3

&),-

&REE DRINK REFILLS ` CORN REFILLS

3 4! $ ) 5 - 3 % !4 ) . '

3(/74)-%3 3HOWTIMES

4)-%3 !.$ 4)4,%3 35"*%#4 4/ #(!.'% $%5#% ")'!,/7 %52/0%!. ')'/,/ 2

&2) 3!4 ,3

&/52 "2/4(%23 2

&2) 3!4 ,3

3+%,%4/. +%9 0'

&2) 3!4 ,3 $5+%3 /& (!::!2$ 0'

&2) 3!4 ,3

34%!,4( 0'

3+9 ()'( 0'

&2) 3!4 ,3 -534 ,/6% $/'3 0'

&2) 3!4 ,3 $%6), 3 2%*%#43 0'

&2) 3!4 ,3 4(% )3,!.$ 0'

(534,% !.$ &,/7 2

&2) 3!4 ,3 #(!2,)% !.$ 4(% #(/#/,!4% &!#4/29 0'

7%$$).' #2!3(%23 2

&2) 3!4 ,3 &!.4!34)# &/52 0'

!"#$%&

the weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s top

BOX OFFICE

1. The Dukes of Hazzard ($30.7M) 2. Wedding Crashers ($16 M) 3. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ($11M) 4. Sky High ($9M) 5. Must Love Dogs ($7.4M) 6. March of the Penguins ($7.1M) 7. Stealth ($5.9M) 8. Fantastic Four ($4.3M) 9. War of the Worlds ($3.5M) 10. The Island ($3.1M)

PHOTOS â&#x20AC;˘ DAVOD SOLANA

2OUTE "URWASH !VE

#/50/.

/: $2).+

WITH PURCHASE OF OZ BAG OF BUTTERY POPCORN

!"##$%&'()*+,")+

11-year-old Haley Lister plays Dance Dance Revolution at the grand opening of iPower.

ONE PER AD 3AVOY %XP 3%04 $)

"%34 $%!, IN H.EWSLETTER AT WWW SAVOY COM

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

obesity is caused by merely consuming too

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

ith over 90 million Sony PlayStation 2â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s around the world, most kids can tell you more about their favorite video game than the park around the corner. Kids are spending more time on their couch and less time on their bike.

Parents, worried for their childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s safety, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t allow them to play outside as often. Physical education programs in public schools are losing needed resources due to lack of funding.

Obesity in children is on the rise.

The American Obesity Association reports that the number of obese children has quadrupled in the last 25 yearsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;approximately 30.3 percent of children ages 6-11 are now overweight.

Realizing the need to combat this trend, a new fitness center opened its doors in Champaign. iPower, located at 1612 S. Neil St., is designed to help women and children achieve their fitness goals, whether they are losing weight, gaining muscle or simply learning to live healthier. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Everywhere we looked we ran into the child obesity issue and we decided to go ahead and tackle that since no one else is,â&#x20AC;? says general manager Darnell Cox. There are few women with as much zest as iPower founder and part owner Sharlyne Powell.

With an impressive resume in the fitness industry, including a series of at-home fitness tapes, 65-year-old Powell understands the lifestyle of the people she hopes to see in her gym.

For 23 years, Powell ran her own nationwide franchise of fitness centers for plus size women called Women at Large. Being a bigger woman herself, Powell understood the frustration of working out in a gym full of slim women and muscular men. She wanted to create a positive environment where women could feel comfortable working out. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The beautiful thing about it was that women like me really wanted to exercise,â&#x20AC;? Powell says.

After a colleague approached her with the idea to create the same type of fitness resource for children, Powell began making iPower a reality. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We wanted top of the line fitness equipment, top of the line testing equipment and things that are unique for fitness for kids. Then we decided to expand it to help women too,â&#x20AC;? says Powell.

The decision to include women in addition to children stems from the idea that a childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s eating and fitness patterns develop from their parentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; example.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Parents donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know what to teach their children about their eating habits because they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know themselves,â&#x20AC;? says India Boodram, iPower staff member.

Unlike your average gym, iPower is tailored to their youth members. The white weight machines, color-coded in red, blue and yellow depending on function, come in two sizes: child and adult. This makes it possible for mother and child to workout side-by-side where as in most gyms, the equipment is too big for children to use safely. Since only eight members are allowed in the gym at a time, everyone is guaranteed the personal attention and instruction needed to ensure results. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We always have you work with a personal trainer because we want to gaurantee results. A lot of people can go into a workout facility and get the tour once, but then not use [the machines] in the right way,â&#x20AC;? says administrative director Heidi Thompson. iPower is exclusively for boys ages 8-17 years old and girls ages 8 years old and up. If men were allowed, says Thompson, it would discourage women from working out because they become very self-conscience in the presence of male patrons. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I know we do have male personal trainers, but theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re helping you, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re at a different level.

Another man working out is competition,â&#x20AC;?

Thompson says.

For kids, working out at iPower doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even seem like exercising. Rather than let video games contribute to childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s health problems, iPower has embraced them as a means to fitness.

On one side of the gym, eight GameBike Pro stationary bicycles connected to PlayStation 2 counsels sit in front of two big screen TVs. Kids (and adults too) can compete in games completely controlled by their body movementsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the handlebars change direction and pedal speed dictates character speed. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Technology is moving very, very rapidly as far as fitness for kids. It puts kids onto exercise they understand,â&#x20AC;? says Powell.

Along with the bikes, iPower also has Dance Dance Revolution, a video game that requires players to dance, jump and twist to music according to onscreen directions, and interactive blowing, tennis and baseball games. In the near future, iPower will also feature a virtual reality game that puts the user in the middle of the action.

Haley Lister spent almost half an hour showing off her skills on the DDR pads at iPowerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s grand

C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

6

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

4 •

buzz weekly

!"#$%&'

DID I CATCH A NINER IN THERE? WERE YOU CALLING FROM A WALKIE-TALKIE? IT WAS CORDLESS...

first things first

House arrest with Martha Stewart

AU G . 11

•

1 7 , 2 OO5

Life is a TRAGEDY for those who feel,

As hideous as she thinks it is, I’m bettin it’s a pretty sweet deal

Thank you for choosing us!

• Spoon up our snowstorms • Super thick shakes & malts • Yummy Sundaes • Delicious Custard Cups & Cones • Fresh baked waffle cones • 30% less calories & butterfat than ice cream

infusions • outdoor seating • peanuts • staff • wine menu

$7 Specia $7 PizSzp

217-398-5858 University at Walnut - 21 For Drinks -

• Made fresh daily right in our store for your enjoyment!

• Well worth the walk or drive from campus!

Gregory Kirby

1st

309 W. Kirby, Champaign 352-2273

Green Neil

Mon-Sat 12-10PM Sunday 1-10PM

was caught riding around her estate on an off road vehicle and going to a yoga class with her daughter. Man, that sucks for her, three more weeks confined to her “estate.” Trust me, Martha, I’ve seen your old saggy ass and there comes a time when yoga is something best done behind closed doors, not in front of others. Maybe next time she skips out of jail she can run by the library and check out a book on the con- Michael Coulter cept of “punishment” because is a videographI really don’t think she under- er, comedian and sort of a stands it properly.

Miss Stewart’s lawyers have smart-ass. But complained that the terms of her we love him anyhome confinement have hurt her way, and don’t efforts to revive her company, know why.

Mar tha Stewar t Living Ominimedia, Inc. No shit? That’s what’s supposed to happen when you’re confined and punished, isn’t it? Geez Louise, even Richard Speck didn’t have the stones to complain that being in prison was greatly diminishing his ability to kill nurses. Sometimes a prison sentence can really dick up you whole life plan, I suppose.

lty

aecsi P izza alty Greek, Bleu Pear, $ Ssp

7 Piz ecia

BBQ Chicken, Pesto, Mexican, zas lty $ Sp Garden, White Garlic 7 Pizzeacsialty -or design your own-

• sandwich menu • pizza •

ì Best Kept Secret in C≠ Uî

talk about house arrest for a moment. Sure, many people choose it over prison, but aren’t you really just cheating yourself out of the harsh punishment you richly deserve? Yeah, you have an ankle monitor on and you’re confined to the inside of your house, but what’s that really teaching you besides the fact that you never sweep under the couch? Sure, having a friend come over in the middle of the night to anally rape you can give any house the feeling of incarceration, but let’s face it, the threat really isn’t as great and thus, you aren’t learning the hard lessons of prison life.

House arrest is pretty much what it says it is.

You can’t leave the house except to go to work and get groceries. Holy crap, I was under house arrest all last week and didn’t even know it.

When I was a poor kid right out of college all I did on vacation was lay on the couch and watch TV and let me tell you, it didn’t feel like punishment in any way, shape, or form.A whole lot of folks live their lives like they’re under house arrest and they haven’t even done anything wrong, but Martha’s a little more special than the common man and she deserves better…at least she thinks she does.

Maybe that’s why she got an extra 3 weeks added to her sentence last week when she

martini and cocktail menu •

S

ome things in life are just fun, taking a pee in the yard, for example. I can’t really explain why, maybe because I don’t have to aim or maybe because it reminds me of growing up in the country, but damn it, it gives me pleasure.

Staring at blind people is also high on the list for me, probably because I think they don’t know I’m staring and possibly because I think they might be faking it and I’m trying to catch them in a “non-blind” moment. There are also the old standbys like having sex, getting drunk, or smoking. I mean, those things are fun no matter what the circumstance. Here’s another thing that is fun as hell for a guy like me…making fun of Martha Stewart’s trouble.

Poor Miss Stewart. One would think that getting out of jail would be a good thing, but Martha doesn’t really see it that way since she’s still under house arrest.That tortured woman, a prisoner in a house that she accessorized. She told Vanity Fair that “house arrest is hideous.”

Really? Hideous?

Me dressed up like Jessica Simpson in The Dukes of Hazzard is hideous, house arrest is just

a pain in the ass. Maybe they didn’t have dictionaries in the prison she went to. I mean, what could be that hideous about it? She’s always talking on her show about what a talented decorator she is, so you would think staying in a house she created would make her as happy as a pig in shit. It doesn’t. So there you go, um, things that are hideous, the Elephant Man and the inside of Martha’s house.

She should have just rolled with the punches and made a show out of it: “For my house arrest, I thought it’d be fun to make my mansion a replica of the famed Leavenworth Prison.

A quick trip to the junkyard should be all you need to find metal bars that can transform an ordinary doorway into an entrance to the tomb of death. I stopped by the Army Surplus store and picked up metal plates and cups, a subtle touch that really adds authenticity to your time in the pen.”

“If you can’t find anything to make cell doors with, feel free to simply use a regular door that has a working lock. Don’t forget to shave at least five inches off the bottom of that door though, otherwise it’ll be hard for the butler to slide you your dinner, a roasted quail with cous cous and a lovely mango chutney.”

Let’s take a quick break from the bashing and

and a COMEDY for those who think.

value • pool tables • separate non-smoking section •

MICHAEL COULTER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Memorial Stadium

Jarlingí s

across from Jerry’s IGA

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

Silver Bullet Bar 1401 E. Washington, U. www.silverbulletbar.net 344-0937 BEST BAR IN CHAMPAIGN-URBANA BEST DJ’S AND MUSIC - BEST DRINK SPECIALS

Monday - $2 Domestic Beers Tuesday - $2 Rum & Coke Wednesday - $2.50 Screwdrivers Thursday - $2 Amaretto Stone Sours FREE POOL 8PM-9PM FEMALE DANCERS NIGHTLY OPEN Monday - Thursday 8pm-1am Friday-Saturday 8pm-2am Ladies & Couples Welcome Always Free Admission with our T-Shirt ATM $5.00 Admission/Ladies Free Accepted MUST BE 21

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

!"#$%&'(")&*+$*(

f r e e

w i l l

a s t r o l o g y

ARIES

(March 21-April 19)

It's time to play a game called Do-It-Yourself Horoscope!

Here's how it works: I provide a skeleton outline of your fortune, and you fill in the blanks. This exercise is designed to boost your self-reliance and compel you to seek answers more aggressively from your inner teacher--skills that are especially important for you to develop right now. Ready? Weave the following threads together to create your oracle. 1) The magic toy is within reach. (2) Sexy heresies are risky and wise. (3) It's good to take liberties as long as you do so with gentle sensitivity. (4) Are you smart enough to be pregnant with wellearned hope? (5) A funky asset is 18 percent larger than normal. (6) The sinewy, supple, serpentine approach will require all your concentration and provide all you need.

TAU RU S

(April 20-May 20)

()*% +,-."#'-,/012

Gemini. Focus on some precious form of sustenance that you take for granted (either metaphorical or literal), and give yourself firsthand experience of everything it goes through to get from its source to you.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

The wisdom I'm about to offer is always useful, but especially right now. Please take it to heart as you wrestle with the tricky opportunities that are becoming available. "The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words," wrote Philip K. Dick in his essay, "How to Build A Universe That Won't Fall Apart in Two Days." "If you can control the meaning of words," he continued, "you can control the people who must use the words."

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

Born under the sign of the Bull, my friend Sarah is a stupendously creative person. The flow of fertile intuition never seems to stop. She attributes this blessing, which is also a bit of a curse, to her relationship with an imaginary friend she calls Eliza. "Eliza is mostly my mysterious and helpful muse, but sometimes she fills me up with too much good stuff," she says. "She can give me so many insights, ideas, and inspirations that I feel like I'm going to explode." In the coming week, Taurus, I suspect your experience will resemble Sarah's.

Would you like to know the best way to ensure the abundance doesn't turn into excess? Make room in your life for a flood of invigorating changes.

A company's CEO is its chief executive officer, and the CFO is its chief financial officer. Even if you already serve in one of those roles, I'll ask you to give yourself a different title for at least the next two weeks: CVO, or chief visionary officer. In fact, please become an excitable purveyor of thrillingly out-ofthe-box ideas no matter what line of work you're in, or even if you're unemployed. It's time for you to dream up possibilities that have been inconceivable until now. But also keep in the back of your mind this caveat, courtesy of business visionary Tom Grueskin. When asked by Fast Company, "Can the imagination ever run too wild?", he replied, "The imagination itself, no. What's done with it, yes."

GEMINI

VIRGO

(May 21-June 20)

Wheat is an essential part of your diet, but you've probably never harvested wheat plants in their raw state and prepared them by hand for eating. If you did, you'd begin by using a scythe to cut down the tall stalks in the field. Then you'd beat them with a flail, separating the heads of wheat from the straw. Next you'd remove the fibrous outer husk that surrounds each kernel of wheat. Finally, you'd grind the kernels in a mill, turning them into flour. I highly recommend that you actually do this or something similar in the coming week,

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

It's actually not the darkest just before the dawn. The time when there is least light is about 2 a.m. Metaphorically speaking, you passed through that dense dimness about ten days ago, and are now muddling through a phase that's equivalent to the hour right before the dawn. It may not be a cheerful romp through fantasyland, but neither will it be a scary tribulation in a dank nightmare. You're almost home free, Virgo.

Don't you dare get superstitious on me now.

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

42 Ride the updrafts 43 Sharp flavors 44 Scout's container 46 Tempestt who played Vanessa Huxtable 48 High-priced caviar source 50 "___ Mine" (George Harrison autobiography) 51 Princess who helps out Link 53 Where some go diving 58 Sean Lennon's middle name 59 Stuff you're supposed to bathe in if you're sprayed by a skunk 62 Combining form meaning "egg" 63 Ready to spit nails 64 Acrylic fiber brand 65 Barrett of Pink Floyd 66 They may get swollen when you're sick 67 Late fashion designer Geoffrey Down 1 Follower of art?

2 Ghostbuster played by s c e n e

Harold Ramis 3 Ball trajectories 4 Take turf twice 5 They rarely blink 6 Sunburn remedy 7 Places for some flamingos 8 Like -3 9 Bullfight cheer 10 She ran for vice president in 1984 11 Tubful Roger Daltrey lounged in on the cover of "The Who Sell Out" 12 Hardly captivating 13 Con quarters 18 Amanda of "Igby Goes Down" 22 An, as in "an enchilada" 25 Unreliable source, often 26 Fixes 27 "The Love Boat" bartender 28 Cake, in Italian restaurants 29 What 16th-17th century countess Elizabeth Bathory reputedly bathed in to stay younger 30 Cleaning time?

1 1

LIBRA

-

a u g

1 7

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Have you heard of the term "doughnut lies"? They're what happens when people create misleading impressions by leaving out important facts from the center of what they say. Be especially careful to avoid them in the coming week, Libra. Neither be victimized by them nor victimize anyone yourself. It has rarely been more important than it is right now to be devoted to the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. (P.S. But it's fine to eat more than your usual quota of doughnuts.)

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

I couldn't believe the show I saw on the cable channel Spike TV: "Blind Date with a Crackwhore." Fred, a twenty-something stockbroker, got set up on a date with Propecia, a fortyish crackwhore. I watched with horrified fascination as she rejected all his gentile attempts to create rapport, constantly turning the conversation back to where they could score some crack. I bring this to your attention, Scorpio, in hopes it will serve as a shining example of how not to proceed in the near future. You have in place everything you need to experience a week full of intensely meaningful adventures with allies who bring out the best in you. Therefore, don't flirt with senseless, random distractions--like blind dates with crackwhores, for instance. And don't do what I did, which is waste precious time entranced by stupid crap. Give every spare moment to capitalizing on the integrity-filled success that's available.

S AG I T TA R I U S

(Nov. 22-Dec.21)

Just as today's fundamentalists quote the Bible to rationalize their persecution of homosexuals, some 16th-century Christians used the good book to justify slavery. I predict that our descendants will look back with equally horrified amazement at both of these errors. And that thought is a good introduction to your assignment in the coming week, Sagittarius. What intolerant, ignorant, or hidebound beliefs do you hold that will be embarrassing to the Future You? It's a per fect time, astrologically speaking, to divest yourself of them. (P.S. I don't mean to imply you're more narrow-mind-

jonesin crossword puzzle Across 1 1 Lovable sorts 6 Cold 11 Network that shows "EastEnders" 14 Bird with beautiful plumes 15 Gazpacho grabber 16 Ginger ___ 17 Ingredient 1/8 cup of which is used in a bath at Pennsylvania's Hotel Hershey Spa 19 Penn of "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle" 20 Like some personae 21 Oscar winner Mercedes of "The Fisher King" 23 Bee follower 24 DNA segment 27 Owie response 31 Able to get on the payroll 34 Meal starters, often 35 Ragu competitor 37 Suffix for musket 38 Word on green T-shirts 39 Makes the coffee 40 WWI spy ___ Hari 41 ___ glance

a u g

Homework: Talk about how your best and worst overlap. Testify at www.freewillastrology.com.

ed than the rest of us; we all have short-sighted opinions we won't be proud of when we're older and wiser. It's just that this is your special time to free yourself of yours.)

C A P R I C O R N (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) "There will come a time when you believe everything is fin-

ished," wrote novelist Louis L'Amour. "Yet that will be the beginning." He could have been describing your life in the coming week, Capricorn. Just when you're sure you've gone as far as you can go, worked as hard as you can work, and exhausted all the possibilities, you will find the secret to a sweet, fresh gamble that will awaken your most brilliant innocence.

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

While filming an underwater scene for her upcoming movie "The Blue," actress Jessica Alba accidentally found herself in uncomfortable proximity to a shark. Rather than panic and flee, though, she thumped it on the nose, causing it to swim away. I nominate her to be your role model in the coming week, Aquarius. While I don't expect you to have a literal encounter with a shark, I do expect you to have a brush with a metaphorical version of that creature. The best response will be a metaphorical version of a swift, simple jab delivered with matter-of-fact courage.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

In public restrooms everywhere, a new kind of sign has appeared in recent years. It says, "Janitors will no longer remove graffiti from the walls." I urge you to find such a place in the coming week, Pisces, because it's there, surrounded by a wealth of vulgar, cracked, and populist wisdom, that you will get the precise revelation you need to make the right decision; it's there you will see the exact writing on the wall that cuts to the heart of your confusion and breaks open an epiphany. You might also stumble upon other useful information in equally shabby environments. For a limited time only, divine reminders will come in unexpected forms.

3"#+'&-,"*4&5 6

32 "Get your hands off me!"

33 Clear 36 Unlike states where Kerry won 39 Color in Cherbourg 40 Double-checked 42 Dessert in a mold 43 It may lead to a full-time position 45 Kaczynski serving a life sentence 47 Big shot's big wheels 49 Set ___ for (plan on) 51 Bronx and San Diego, for two 52 One of a deadly seven 54 Western tribe 55 Mah-jongg piece 56 Greenspan's subj.

57 Russo who played Natasha in a Rocky & Bullwinkle movie 60 Gold, to some treasure hunters 61 Magazine that features a "Fold-In” Answers on pg. 3

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion.

• All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time.

• All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student.

• Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment.

• All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student.

• This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

Employment 000 010

HELP WANTED Full Time

Paid-in-Advance: 28¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

310

1987 VOLVO 740 GLE silver, red leather, 133,000 miles, sunroof, power windows, front seat warmers.

Great car! $1750 obo 217-344-9084

EXECUTIVE LOFT 201 S. Wright St., Champaign.

Adjacent to Engineering campus.

Loft bedroom, security parking, balcony, A/C, laundry.

Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012 Large, Luxury, Quiet. 2 Br. Loft apt.

Close to campus, No smoke, No pets, utilities paid, with W/D. $700.

355-9463.

Need Drivers, kitchen help and phone person. Flexible shift (Day, evening and night). Call 355-3278 or Apply in store.

The Daily Illini is now hiring part-time Office Assistants for an immediate opening that may extend to the fall semester. Flexible scheduling available from late morning to early afternoon Monday- Friday. Duties include answering telephones, greeting customers, processing payments and various other duties. Enthusiasm and willingness to provide excellent internal and external customer service are a must. Interested applicants can stop by our office at 57 East Green St. to fill out application or email melanie@illinimedia.com UI students needed to staff Quad Day table, Tuesday, August 23.

9:00a.m. to 3:30p.m. $60.

Call Esther at Tenant Union 333-0112.

HELP WANTED

030

Full/Part Time

$8.25/HR. STARTING Office and Warehouse Associate.

Flexible hours, Meyer Drapery 330 N. Neil. Downtown Champaign. Apply in person or send resume. 3525318.

Earn $5000 as an egg donor. Must be 20-29 and a non-smoker. Please call Alternative Reproductive Resources at 773-327-7315 or 847446-1001 to learn how you can help a family fulfill its dreams.

Harvest help on organic vegetable farm. Now-Nov. 1. Full/ Part time positions. 643-2031.

!""#$$%&&'( )*+,-((./$ /0'&&$(1$/+&*2 3,4*,$5367)222 8+&&$99:;<9""=$$$

1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $545 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking.

Fall 04, 367-6626

312 W. Springfield, URBANA Aug 2005. Very attractive units in newer building. On bus line, near downtown Urbana and campus.

Washer/dryers in each unit; covered parking; balconies. Two bedroom apts from $735/mo. To furnish $50/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

609 W. MAIN, U. Renting Aug 2005. 2 bedroom apts Furnished $525/mo. Parking optional, Central A/C, Carpet, laundry facilities, Gas Heat, Ethernet connection avail. Showing 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Available for Fall 407 E. University. Luxury one bedrooms, fully equipped- microwave, washer/dryer in-unit. Security building with elevator. Balconies, underground parking.

Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012 Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550 per month. 367-6626.

Available now. Efficiencies 1, 2, 3 bedrooms. $390- $750/mo. 7664746.

BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480.

1 Br. $370 2 BR. $470 3 BR. $750 4 BR $755 Campus. 367-6626.

Campus 2 room, stove, refrigerator, utilities, Parking. 356-2476, 3566191

COURTYARD ON RANDOLPH 713 S. Randolph,C. Now renting for Fall.

1, 3 BR left from $678.

Near campus, downtown Champaign. Includes cable, parking, water.

Has laundry facilities and seasonal pool.

217-352-8540 217-355-4608 (evenings) www.faronproperties.com

NO BULL!

Free Best Buy and Campus Tan gift certificate with each signed lease!

Remodeled apartments that redefine campus living.

3 and 4 bedroom apartments available at 810 S. Oak St. between John and Daniel in Champaign.

3 bedroom apartment at $999/mo. (only $333 per roommate!)

4 bedroom apartment at $999/mo. (less than $250 per roommate!)

High-speed internet, water, and trash included!

Laundry in building.

NINE MONTH LEASES NEGOTIABLE

111 E. Healey, Champaign Available now and Fall 2005. Extra large 1 bd and efficiencies. Prices ranging from $375-485. Off-street parking, security building, & 5 floor plans to choose from. Make your appointment today!

217-384-6930

Aug 2005. Very attractive Colonial building. Great location on bus line.

Large 2 bedroom corner apts approx 800 sq. ft. were $450/mo, now $425/mo. Interior 2 bedroom apts were $425/mo, now $395/mo. $50/mo to furnish. Central A/C, carpet, laundry, parking available.

Apartments shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com Sunnycrest Apartments 1717 E. Florida, U Large 1 and 2 BR apartments. Includes water and parking, on-site laundry, pool. Starting @ $450/mo.

Campo Rental Agency 344-1927.

UNIQUE Available Fall. 1 bedroom loft apartment. Fully equipped. Balcony, parking. 409 W. Green. Call Hardwick Apartments, 356-5272 or 621-1012.

APARTMENTS

3 blocks to Engineering Quad. 3 BR $690, 4 BR $890. C/A, ceiling fan, dishwasher, washer/dryer in unit.

384-1099, castle_apartments@ameritech.net

311 E. WHITE, C Avail Aug 2005. Large furnished efficiencies close to Beckman Center.

Rent starts at $325/mo. Parking avail at $30/mo. Window A/C, carpet, High Speed Internet connection avail. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Now & Fall 2005 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kenny, 493-0429.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

509 W. MAIN, U. Quiet Urbana location very close to campus avail for Aug 2005. 1 BR apts. Rents start at $405/mo. Carpet, laundry facilities, window A/C, storage, parking avail at $25/mo.

Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

602 E. Stoughton Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments.

All furnished, laundry, internet, and parking available. Must see!!

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

420

Furnished

1006 S. 3RD, C. Aug 2005. 1 bedroom. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

104 E. Armory, C. 3 & 4 bedroom apartment, 2 baths.

All new furniture. Great Location.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

1107 S. EUCLID, C Aug 2005 rental. Near Armory, IMPE and Snack Bar. 1 bedroom apts.

Window A/C, Gas Heat, laundry.

Parking $35/mo. Rents start at $395/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

MJM/Chateau Apartments Champaign 2 Bedrooms 403 E. White - $540/mo.

302 S. Fourth - $540/mo.

405 E. White - $400/mo.

All Units: Carpet, A/C, Appliances Cable & Internet Ready Parking Available On-Site Laundry

Ask Tenant Union about us 390-2377

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

1 7 , 2 OO5 430

APARTMENTS Unfurnished

Courtyard 713 S. Randolph, C. 1, 3 BR poolside unit left.

From $678 Near campus and downtown Champaign. Includes parking, cable, water, laundry facilities, and seasonal pool.

352-8540, 377-4677 pm www.faronproperties.com

JTS Properties 328-4284

503- 505- 508 E. White

PRICES SLASHED 1405-1407 W. KIRBY, C

420

APARTMENTS Furnished

304 & 306 E. Clark, C Castle Apartments

410

Furnished/Unfurnished EASY $ Looking for computer literate people to work Aug 17- 27. $12/hr.

(217)766-3685. Ask for Jon

420

301 E. White, C. 2 BR apartment avaiable mid- August, includes water and parking. $625/mo. Campo Rental Agency 344-1927.

400

APARTMENTS

Part Time

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

Billed rate: 35¢/word

AUTOMOBILES

APARTMENTS Furnished

020

DEADLINE:

RATES:

Furnished/Unfurnished

Apartments HELP WANTED

410

APARTMENTS

•

Furnished one bedrooms and efficiencies from $325, $365, and $395 near John and Second or Healey and Third. 356-1407.

GREAT VALUE

306- 308- 309 White August 2005. 1 & 3 Bedroom furnished apts. Balconies, patios, laundry, dishwashers, off-street parking, ethernet available. 352-3182 or 8411996 anytime, 309 S. First.

The University Group www.ugroup96.com

JOHN STREET APARTMENTS 58 E. John August 2005. Two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwashers, center courtyard, on-site laundry, central air, ethernet available.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 Showings Monday-Friday 10-5 Saturday 11-4 LANDO PLACE 707 South 6th, C. Large 1 BR. Includes water and trash removal. On-site Laundry. Secured Building. Local phone service and ethernet. Parking Available.

From $580/mo.

CAMPO RENTAL AGENCY 344-1927 New Building “Lofts on John” One bedroom, unfurnished, W/D, dishwasher, opening August 05 $650/mo. Near John and 2nd. Call 356-1407

OLD TOWN CHAMPAIGN 510 S. Elm Available Fall 2005. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, dishwasher, W/D, central air/heat, off street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. $525/mo. 841-1996.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 Parkview Apartments 121 W. Park, Urbana Efficiency apartments for fall. Includes water, trash removal, on-site laundry. $395/mo. Campo Rental Agency 344-1927.

APARTMENTS

430

Unfurnished 1 bedroom in older home. $625/ mo.

Utilities included. 314 S. State St, Champaign. 369-7205 2 Bedroom Large Townhouses.

Most Utilities Paid at 707 W. California. $595. Phone 493-6483, 3845668.

404 S. Prairie, C Conveniently located 2 bedroom townhouse. Now available. Near campus and downtown Champaign, $510/mo. 352-8540, 377-4677 pm. www.faronproperties.com 507 W. White, C. Contemporary 2 BR, now available.

In the heart of Old-town Champaign. $510/mo, 352-8540, 377-4677pm. www.faronproperties.com

s o u n d s

A U G . 1 1 1 7 , 2 OO5

EDITOR’S NOTE PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

606 S. PRAIRIE, C Huge 1 bedroom apts in quiet Champaign neighborhood near campus and bus line. Perfect for Grad Students. Gas heat, window a/c, free off street parking. Priced $50/mo below competition. From $380/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com 616 Healey Quiet 1 bedroom, free parking, water, trash. $385. 352-6101.

703 W. CHURCH, C Aug 2005. Close to downtown in quiet location on bus line. 2 bedrooms at $480/mo. Patio/balconies, Central A/C, Gas Heat, Carpet, Laundry in building. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Park-like Setting

2 BR avail. mid-August laundry, pkg, W/A, $485/mo

The Weiner Companies, Ltd

384-8018

www.weinercompanies.com

PRICES SLASHED 115 W. WASHINGTON, U

Avail Aug 2005. 1 bedroom apts.

Carpet, window a/c, laundry, boiler heat. Rent was $510/mo. Now $425/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

PRICES SLASHED

A

fter watching all of my friends, save a few, cross the threshold before me, I am finally turning 21 on Friday, tomorrow, August 12. Insert Emma’s patented “I’m 21!” dance here. Since I’m sure you have no idea what that means, a friend of mine named Emma, the editor of the yearbook, has a wonderfully funny dance for turning 21.

Anyway, I’m quite excited about it because I can finally purchase and consume alcohol legally. So if you’re in town and looking for something to do on Friday, come to Murphy’s around midnight, I will most likely be there, and everyone’s welcome, unless you’re going to be mean, then don’t come.

Enough of this birthday crap, I’ve got some things to complain about. I LOVE baseball. I love watching it, I love playing it, I love my Cubbies (I’m actually at the Cubs/Cards game today, let’s go Cubs!). And even though we’ve been losing a lot lately, I still love ‘em.

But I’ve recently turned quite angry towards America’s pasttime. Steroids have been the hot topic in baseball all year, and Rafael Palmeiro’s recent blunder has really gotten to me. In case you don’t follow baseball, or have been living under a rock for a while, here’s what happened: Rafael Palmeiro, one of the biggest names in baseball, and a man who vehemently

FAIRLAWN VILLAGE FAIRLAWN & VINE SEMESTER LEASES Aug 2005. Live in a peaceful, relaxed, neighborhood setting. Fairlawn Village is a one-story apartment community, spread out on twelve acres, close to U of I, shopping and walking distance to schools. Spacious apartments with washer/dryer hook up, a/c, and garages available.Two bedrooms from $500 to $550/mo. Call for an appointment.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 344-5043 www.barr-re.com PRICES SLASHED 508 S. MATTIS, C Aug 2005. One of Champaign’s finest apartment complexes featuring a beautiful courtyard. 2 bedroom apts were $525/mo, now $475/mo. On bus line with Central A/C, Carpet, Gas Heat, Laundry facilities, Patios or Balconies, Covered Parking. Apts shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

South Busey Classic style, 1 bedroom plus study.

Bright, sunny, in quiet neighborhood near Cafe Paradiso. Laundry, parking. Sorry no pets. 12 mo lease. References. $545 + utilities. 344-2775

Earn some

t h e

s c e n e

BUZZ STAFF v o l u m e

denied using steroids in a congressional hearing earlier this year, was suspended for 10 games for testing positive for steroids.

Here’s my beef: this guy is supposed to be a role model. He’s been in the league for a long time, and now it comes out that he’s using steroids. Ok, I can see that. His numbers jumped once Jose Canseco joined him on the Rangers. But Palmeiro told CONGRESS that he didn’t and doesn’t use steroids. And what was his punishment? A ten game suspension.

Please, that’s a mini vacation. Oh, and the way it worked out, Palmeiro was able to appeal the decision long enough to get his 3,000th hit before the suspension took place.

TEN GAMES!? A future Hall of Famer gets caught using steroids, and he only gets ten games? This was baseball’s chance to really send a message about steroids.They sent a message about gambling when they banned Pete Rose for life, why couldn’t they inflict a similar penalty here?

Steroids are compromising the integrity of the game and of the players, and I for one am outraged. A professinoal tennis player was recently caught using a masking agent (chemical used to hide other drugs in his system) and was suspended for 2 years.

Please, PLEASE let Bud Selig push his 50 game, 100 game, lifetime suspension steroid policy. Baseball needs it, and little kids need baseball heroes again. Heroes that aren’t on the juice.

- Paul

3

n o . 3 2

uNDER c OVER

|1-4|

Cover Design • Nikita Sorokin Editor in chief • Paul Wagner Art Director • Claire Napier Copy Chief • Paul Wagner Music • Kyle Gorman Arts • Constance Beitzel Film • Andrew Vecelas Community • Erin Scottberg Calendar • Erin Scottberg Photography Editor • David Solana Designers • Brittany Bindrim, Nikita Sorokin, Obumneme Asota Calendar Coordinators • Cassie Conner, Todd Swiss Photography • Austin Happel Copy Editors • Sarah Goebel, Gary Peeples Staff Writers • Todd Swiss, Paul Prikazsky, Syd Slobodnik, Beth Dillman, Todd J. Hunter Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein Production Manager • Meredith Niepert Sales Manager • Anna Rost Marketing/Distribution • Louis Reeves III Publisher • Mary Cory

2 2 2 3 4 |5-6| 5 |7-8| 7 8 8 8

| 9 - 11 | | 12 - 13 | 12 12 13

TALK TO BUZZ e-mail: buzz@readbuzz.com

| 14 - 16 |

write: 57 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820

14

call: 217.337.3801

15

We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date.

Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini

16

Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50

© Illini Media Company 2005

3

16 16 | 17 | 17 17 | 18 - 20 |

INTRO

The Local Sniff • Seth Fein This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening Editor’s Note • Paul Wagner First Things First • Michael Coulter

AROUND TOWN iPower fitness • Erin Scottberg

LISTEN, HEAR The Courtyard at the Union • Kyle Gorman (Th)ink • Keef Knight Sound Ground #88 • Todd J. Hunter Theory of Everything review • Susan Schomburg

MAIN EVENT ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT Wicked review • Jeff Nelson Becoming a Wine Connoisseur • Constance Beitzel Artist’s Corner with Sven johnson

THE SILVER SCREEN Stanley Kubrick festival • Tim Peters Broken Flowers review • Paul Prikazsky Dukes of Hazzard review • David Just Movie Time Listings Slowpoke • Jen Sorensen

THE STINGER Free Will Astrology Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney

CLASSIFIEDS

TONIGHT- Eclectic Theory

10pm-1am Happy Hour- 1/2 price appetizers, Drink specials all night long.

CASH with the BUZZ!

PAGE DESIGNERS AND COPY EDITORS NEEDED For fall semester or willing to start immediatley PAGE DESIGNERS

Design experience required. Familiarity with QuarkXPress or Adobe InDesign needed. Send e-mail with resume to napier.claire@gmail.com COPY EDITORS

CLASSIFIEDS 337-8337 f r o m

buzz weekly •

PUFF IS JUST THE NAME OF THE BOY'S MAGICAL DRAGON... YOU A POTHEAD, FOCKER?

•

THE

PHONE: 217/337-8337 DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

AU G . 11

pg.17

YOU KNOW, WE’RE NOT THE ONLY ONES DESTROYING TREES. WHAT ABOUT BEAVERS.

Puzzle

18 • b u z z w e e k l y

Editing experience required. Contact Paul at buzz@readbuzz.com

*Enter to win a in Joe’s Private Party Room at wqqb.com.

RESTAURANT ~ BAR ~ BEER GARDEN PRIVATE PARTY ROOM ~ DANCE CLUB JOE’S BREWERY ~ 5TH AND GREEN ~ CAMPUSTOWN 217-384-1790 ~ WWW.JOESBREWERY.COM

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

buzz weekly

!"#$%&"'(

THE ANIIMAL DOESN’T EVEN HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS, FOCKER.

the local sniff

AU G . 11

•

1 7 , 2 OO5

I got about two tons of rotting celery I need hauled off, pronto!

SETH FEIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

I AM AN IDIOT… I was awoken Tuesday morning to garbage haulers about to take away my trash, just one hour after my 24 hour period was up. I had called the haulers and arranged for them to take it. My landlord said he’d have the company charge it to him and then he would take it out of my deposit. Fine, right?

Not so. My landlord decided, in the middle of the night out of nowhere, to make me put up the money, which was smart of him because it covers his ass. The haulers I hired showed up at the same time that the city property guy did and I was stuck between a rock and a hard place: Either I pay the fine and let the city hire the haulers or I pay the haulers cash right there and avoid the fine. Needless to say, I let loose on the city property man and on my landlord. I love flying off the handle and ranting and raving; it’s a Fein Family tradition. But I had no right to yell at either one of them.

I am truly sorry, Jason L. of the public works division of Urbana. I am sorry you had to deal with my beautifully well crafted family tradition that is the Jewish temper.After all, I am moving into a new house, I have a sick cat, I have a former roommate who neglected the situation and my girlfriend just had surgery.

If I just would have had 72 hours rather than 24.

THE DUMBEST THING I’VE EVER BEEN A PART OF I have been a part of some pretty stupid ass exchanges in my day. I mean after all, I live in a town where this Chief thing still won’t go away despite its transparency to the rest of the world. But nothin nothing I tell you – could have prepared me for what happened at Geo’s, a bar and grill in Urbana next to the Porn store on Cunningham Ave. Let me tell you the story in the present tense, abridged for sake of space: My buddy and I are hungry at work, so we decide to order some food from Geo’s. We like Geo’s. It is cheap and good; we have eaten there before. We decide to order 10 wings. We both like celery a lot, too. On their menu, it states:“Side of celery – $0.50.”

I call them up and order the wings and ask for an I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

•

1 7 , 2 OO5

APARTMENTS

Idiots of the Week: Seth Fein and Geo’s Bar and Grill

FIRST SNIFF In regards to the city of Urbana’s garbage policy, Public works Director Rod Fletcher ought to reconsider the way he goes about dealing with people’s trash when they are moving out.

We are given just 24 hours to get rid of it if we put it next to the curb? Only a day? Come on Urbana.

In addition to moving out of a former house, we have to move into a new one; we have jobs; we have sick cats; we have roommates who neglect the situation, we have girlfriends who just had surgery.

You’d think being a tolerant and lenient city, something Urbana proclaims to be, that they would give you a little bit more time to take care of something like that. It is apparent to me: They do it to ensure that most people get fined. They want to fill the city coffers with Bullshit. I put it to you Laurel Prussing! Change this heinous law and give us citizens more time to deal with our trash. Not a month, not a week, but at least a couple of days!

AU G . 11

additional six sides of celery, put in a separate box so it will stay cool. She says it will be 15-20 minutes.

Jake goes to get the food and when he comes back, there is no separate box. Just the wings with ONE side of celery in the same box. I go back to Geo’s to get my celery. Granted, they didn’t charge me for it. But, hey – I like celery and that was what I ordered.

Here is the exchange I had with her when I arrived, paraphrased based on memory and again, space: Me: Hi. I actually ordered six sides of celery in a separate container. (I open my box to show her that there is only one side and that it is hot from being in the same box as the wings) Her:What do you need all that celery for?

Me: To eat it?

Her:That’s a lot of celery right there though.

Me: I know that you might think that it’s a lot.

But I ordered six times this amount.

Her:Yeah, but you only have ten wings.That is all the celery that comes with ten wings.

Seth Fein is from Me: ( I point to the menu) Urbana. He loves That’s why I ordered six celery. He also EXTRA sides! loves intelligence.

He only got one Her: That’s an awful lot of this week. He can celery you’ve got there already. be reached at What do you need more of it sethfein@ for, anyway? hotmail.com Me: Let me speak to your manager.

(She goes to get the manager and I can see that she is explaining it to him) Him: Can I help you?

Me: Yes. I would like six sides of celery. Your menu has it listed for $0.50 an order. I would like six of them.

Him:What do you need all the celery for?

Me: To fucking EAT IT, MAN! I like celery. It’s crispy, it’s crunchy, it’s healthy! Don’t question me on my order. Just give it to me.

Her: How many sticks of celery to you want, man?

Me: However many come in six side orders!

Her: Okay, man.Whatever.

(She goes and gets the celery.)

(I open the box to find approximately TWO orders in there) Me:What happened?

Her:What?

Me:There are only two orders in here.

Her: Okay. Just tell me how many sticks of celery you want.

Me: How many come in an order?!?

Her: Six to eight.

Me: Then do the math! Get me between 36-48 pieces of celery!

(She goes and comes back with 41 pieces) Her: Happy now?

Him:What on earth are you going to do with all that celery?

430

Unfurnished

SOUTHWEST PLACE APTS, C Aug 2005. 2 bedroom Duplexes were $585/mo, now $525/mo., 2 Townhouses were $685/mo, now $575/mo. Carpet, gas heat, central A/C. Some units have w/d’s in units, w/d hook-ups, or laundry in bldg, garages, dishwashers, disposals, patio/balconies, parking. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Other Rentals 500 HOUSES

HOUSES

510

316 S. State St., C 4/ 5 bedroom home, 2 baths, 2 full kitchens, laundry room. $1100/mo.

369-7205.

Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2850 367-6626

FREE RENT! 806 W. Stoughton, Urbana- Are you and your friends still looking for a house for rent? This large house is a steal at reduced pricing. Four bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms and a garage. Recently updated with newer carpet and vinyl. Now offering 1/2 off security deposit and 1 month’s free rent. $1395/mo.

Call Allison Today!

510

www.ramshaw.com (217)359-6400

2 bedroom and 7 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2004. 367-6626.

Available now. 3 BR $840/mo. 7664746.

!"#$%&$'''%%(()*+(()

HOUSES

510

JTS Properties 328-4284 Urbana Houses Available August 2005 905 W. Main

2 BR, 1 Bath, W/D, pets welcome, & off-street parking. $800/mo.

105 N. Coler

Newly remodeled 5 BR, 2 bath, hardwood floors, off-street parking with garage. $1500/mo.

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

1 bedroom, near campus $300 per month 367-6626 Need roommate to share a 3 bedroom house. Off Neil and Hessel. $300/mo + utilities. 352-1704 Roomate wanted. House in Urbana. $145/mo. Call (630)204-7361.

ROOM & BOARD

PARKING/STORAGE

540

Want community?

Vegetarian meals? Affordable private rooms? www.couch.coop

Quality apartments and houses for rent • On-campus or off-campus • Excellent Tenant Union record • Weekend/evening showings by appointment

CALL US AT (217) 384-6930 VIEW OUR LISTINGS @ www.johnsmithproperties.com

HOUSES

630

570

Near Lincoln & Illinois. 1 garage also avaiable. 417-0566.

FOR RENT

The Daily Illini

311 W. William St. Vintage Charm and quality craftsmanship, abound in the 3 BR, 1.5 bath cape cod. Desirable OldTown Champaign location. A rare gem. $194,000. 217-352-2947.

Call for appointment.

every Monday through Friday The Daily Illini is the independent student newspaper at U of I and is distributed all over campus and around Champaign-Urbana

Listen to the Flashback Cafe.

580

Great campus location. 606 1/2 & 608 E. Stoughton, Champaign. 1 BR apartment $450/mo. 9 room house $2,400. Free parking. 217-493-6519

WANTED TO RENT

590

Grad student seeks quiet housing for Fall only. 707-342-5422

Everyday at Noon.

WPGU 107.1

RealEstateforSale 600 CONDOS/DUPLEXES

620

CLASSIFIEDS 337-8337

1310 Mumford, Urbana. 2 BR. C/ A, attached garage, laundry hookup, good location. Available Now. $615/ mo. 778-5000, 356-5153.

Colony West Condo 2BR, W/D, D/W, 1st floor unit with walk- out patio. Access to pool and club house Available immediately.

384-0333

www.wpgu.com

RENTS STARTING AT

,-./0.//.1.2345

$420

BEST BANG FOR YOUR BUCK SPRING SPECIALS!

No Security Deposit $50 Off Application Fee $50 Look & Lease Drawing on 6/30/05 for: • MP3 Player • Digital Camcorder • Mobile Entertainment System • and other cool prizes!

CAMPUS CONNECTION formerly Melrose Apartments 1601 N Lincoln Ave, Urbana

278-0278

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

!

19

Pick up a copy of

For Sale

Roommates wanted to share spacious house in Urbana. W/D, furnished, full yard, hot tub, high speed internet, must be dog friendly. $350/ $400/mo. + 1/4 utilities. 369-5540. or dfdoane@uiuc.edu.

Two male grads to share beautiful 4 bedroom, 2 bath house Urbana. $295. Off-street parking. 10 paces from bus. Washer/dryer. Available now. Chris 732-619-8385. cwhalen@ uiuc.edu.

www.wpgu.com

• Many pet-friendly locations • Furnished AND Unfurnished units • 9 month leases negotiable at some locations

ROOMMATE WANTED 550

SAFE street, new carpets/ interiors, furnished, 4 bedroom, 1 block from Lincoln & Green, central air, fireplace, living, dining, kitchen, W/D, includes parking, available August 15. No pets. $1400. 3673530 leave message.

FINAL WHIFF This is not a joke.This what actually happened.

s o u n d s

buzz weekly •

YOU CALL YOURSELF AN ENVIRONMENTALIST, WHY DON'T YOU GO CLUB A FEW BEAVERS?

www.collegeparkweb.com

Send us your event listings

calendar@readbuzz.com

2 •

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

AU G . 11

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE FACE HE MADE WHEN – WELL, HE’S MY TWIN BROTHER, I’LL SHOW YOU!.

•

1 7 , 2 OO5

w

e

e

k

l

y

20 • b u z z w e e k l y

Check out these upcoming Special Editions of the Daily Illini. Theyí ll provide all the information youí ll need to kickstart the coming schoolyear!

Move-In Edition Friday August 12th 2005 Welcome Back Edition Friday August 19th 2005 Quad Day Edition Tuesday August 23rd 2005

Looking Between the Lines I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e

z buz FREE

s

o

u

n

d

s

f

r

o

m

t

h

7 O8 | 11 | O5 . O8 | 17 | O5 champaign . urbana

e

s

12

c

e

n

e

16