Buzz Magazine: Aug. 18, 2005 by Buzz Magazine

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NONE OF US ARE VIRGINS, LIFE HAS SCREWED US ALL.

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buzz weekly

seth fein

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IS IT JUST ME, OR DO GAS PRICES MAKE NO SENSE AT ALL?

the local sniff

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Silver Bullet Bar 344-0937

1401 E. Washington, U. www.silverbulletbar.net

OPEN Monday - Thursday 8pm-1am Friday-Saturday 8pm-2am Ladies & Couples Welcome Always Free Admission with our T-Shirt ATM $5.00 Admission/Ladies Free Accepted MUST BE 21

Puzzle

Monday - $2 Domestic Beers Tuesday - $2 Rum & Coke Wednesday - $2.50 Screwdrivers Thursday - $2 Amaretto Stone Sours FREE POOL 8PM-9PM FEMALE DANCERS NIGHTLY

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BEST BAR IN CHAMPAIGN-URBANA BEST DJ’S AND MUSIC - BEST DRINK SPECIALS

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my column last week, I would just like to thank all of you who emailed me, stopped me on the street, and especially to the lady and her dogs that stopped at my house to say how much she enjoyed it. And, please, no more offers for celery. It’s cheap, it’s accessible, it’s already in my home. But for the record, I do appreciate it. SPEAKING OF LAST WEEK… I would like to retract my apology to Jason L. of Urbana Public Works right now. While I am still sorry that I yelled at him, I have no sympathy for his job any longer. Just to update you all: after the city fined me and had a contracted hauler come out to take away my trash, I came home to discover that they did a little too good of a job on it.They threw away my garbage cans! So naturally, I called up my guy Jason to ask him what could be done, he just snickered and said,“They didn’t have lids on them and they were cracked, so as far as we were concerned, they were trash.” I asked him if they could be replaced as they were not mine to throw away and he just said,“You should have followed the rules.” Perhaps he’s right. Maybe Seth Fein is from I should have followed the Urbana. He really rules. But I never got a sheet of does think that paper from the city telling me Laurel Prussing is about the rules. I never got going to turn anything that would have told Urbana around for me anything about the proper the better. He can way to go about moving out. I be reached at just got a bunch of bad attitudes sethfein and a big fine.Thanks Urbana! @hotmail.com. Realizing that there was nothing to be done, I just sighed and told him how happy I was to be moving to Champaign. Sorry Urbana. When you organize your garbage and open some stores that resemble something of necessity, I might move back. But I must state that I believe in Laurel Prussing. She is going to be a terrific mayor for Urbana and I believe that in just a year of two, you’ll all notice the significant changes brought about by her counsel. Just you wait. FINAL WHIFF In case you haven’t been following the news, mother of fallen soldier, Cindy Sheehan has been camped out in front of Dubya’s ranch in Crawford, TX and intends to stay there until Bush comes out to speak with her. All he has to do is go outside of his home, walk up the drive and have a conversation. A simple gesture in the face of this woman’s pain. And yet our dumbshit of a Prez can’t even do it. Not because he isn’t allowed or not even because he has been “advised” against it.The reason he can’t go speak with her is because, when you break it down to reality, he would have nothing to say. He is a liar and he knows it.We all know it. Let’s just pause this week at some point.All of us. Let’s all pause to take a moment to pray or meditate or contemplate the lives of the soldiers we have lost in our Iraqi Quagmire. Seriously. Put out some love into the world and think of our soldiers and more importantly, of the families they have left behind. After you do that, start thinking of ways to change things.We, as humans – all of us, have suffered long enough.

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PRICES SLASHED 508 S. MATTIS, C Aug 2005. One of Champaign’s finest apartment complexes featuring a beautiful courtyard. 2 bedroom apts were $525/mo, now $475/mo. On bus line with Central A/C, Carpet, Gas Heat, Laundry facilities, Patios or Balconies, Covered Parking. Apts shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

South Busey Classic style, 1 bedroom plus study. Bright, sunny, in quiet neighborhood near Cafe Paradiso. Laundry, parking. Sorry no pets. 12 mo lease. References. $545 + utilities. 344-2775 Spacious 2 BR. apt. downtown Urbana. Gold busline. Walk to engineering campus. A/C, laundry, onsite maintenance. $610/mo. 3676927.

RENT IT!!! 337-8337

buzz weekly •

MY TEARS FOR YOU ARE LIKE DARK CHOCOLATE- BITTER SWEET AND PROBABLY NO GOOD FOR ME.

Unfurnished

I'll throw away your trash cans if you don't follow the rules!

FIRST SNIFF Back in 1988, a young woman came to the University of Illinois and brought her two children to an Illini basketball game. Being Native Americans (not 1/4 or 1/2, but fullblooded Native Americans), they left at halftime, feeling ashamed and shocked by the spectacle that they had just seen. Charlene Teters began protesting by herself, with her children, outside of Illini games. She was mocked and ridiculed by countless Illini fans for merely standing up for what she knew was right in her heart of hearts. Seventeen years later, the “Chief ” issue has taken to the national stage. It made me proud to be a human being to see Teters on ESPN2 last week, speaking out to the entire nation about what she knew was right in her heart of hearts. Something tells me that her trip to Connecticut was an allpaid, well furnished jaunt. Not bad for someone who deserves that and so much more for standing up for a cause that yes, affects all of us. GIBSON CITY:TOWN OF HONOR;TOWN OF POOP It is important to keep what matters most in mind when being an elected official.That is something that has become blatantly obvious over the last five years, given the kind of hands on support we have gotten from the Federal Government.And so, it seems as though the mayor of Gibson City, just north of our towns, has taken note and decided to use his status to do something that matters. For the people. For the white people. For the white people without brains. For the white people without brains who are living in a town where ‘Cops’ was once shot. Yes, my readers. Dan Dickey, the mayor of Gibson City, has declared August 27th, 2005, “Honor The Chief ” day. Good for them. I hope that when all the people come out to celebrate the Chief, someone, at some point, looks around and says, “Gee. I wonder if anyone else here thinks it’s a little odd to be celebrating someone else’s culture without any of them here?” Well, I can’t make it that day. As a Jew, I will be down in New York with my family celebrating “Honor the Emam.” It’s bound to bring out the best that the Palestinians have to offer. THANKS FOR THE OFFERS, BUT MY PLATE IS FULL Today marks the two-year anniversary of my tenure of writing for the Buzz. Kind of. Okay, not really, it’s more like a month past that, but whatever. In any event, based on the massive response to

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APARTMENTS

Let us not be as Ignorant as Gibson City SETH FEIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

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SUBLETS Summer with Fall Option

SOUTHWEST PLACE APTS, C Aug 2005. 2 bedroom Duplexes were $585/mo, now $525/mo., 2 Townhouses were $685/mo, now $575/mo. Carpet, gas heat, central A/C. Some units have w/d’s in units, w/d hook-ups, or laundry in bldg, garages, dishwashers, disposals, patio/balconies, parking. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

SUBLETS

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3 BR. duplex near campus. 3676626. Large Deluxe, one bedroom sublease. 1032 Kerr Ave, Urbana. Furnished/ Unfurnished. $615 (negotiable). Priv. balcony, laundry, parking, pool, Rec/ Health center, carpet, quiet, dressing area w/ vanity basin $ mirror, modern kitchen. 709.828.2541.

Other Rentals 500 510

2 bedroom and 7 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2004. 367-6626.

Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2850 367-6626

316 S. State St., C 4/ 5 bedroom home, 2 baths, 2 full kitchens, laundry room. $1100/mo. 369-7205.

www.wpgu.com

• On-campus or off-campus • Excellent Tenant Union record • Weekend/evening showings by appointment

CALL US AT (217) 384-6930 VIEW OUR LISTINGS @ www.johnsmithproperties.com

ROOM & BOARD

540

Room, private bath, all meals in comfortable east Urbana home. $650/mo. 328-2445 Want community? Vegetarian meals? Affordable private rooms? www.couch.coop

English Creek Court condo Champaign. 2 bedroom, 1.5 bath. Unfurnished. Near Parkland. $650/mo. 621-5446

FREE RENT! 806 W. Stoughton, Urbana- Are you and your friends still looking for a house for rent? This large house is a steal at reduced pricing. Four bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms and a garage. Recently updated with newer carpet and vinyl. Now offering 1/2 off security deposit and 1 month’s free rent. $1395/mo. Call Allison Today!

3 BR home close to campus. 1 bath, one- car garage. $750/mo. Posession date 9/15. 621-2229.

Quality apartments and houses for rent • Many pet-friendly locations • Furnished AND Unfurnished units • 9 month leases negotiable at some locations

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Available now. 3 BR $840/mo. 7664746.

1 bedroom in a four bedroom , 2 bath fully furnished apartment. 1.5 mi from UIUC campus. Bike path on bus route. W/D in apartment, Ethernet, A/C, full kitchen, gated community. 24 hour computer lab, fitness center, pool/hot tub. $410/mo. utilities included except phone. 1st mo. rent and utilities FULLY PAID. 847-774-0659.

HOUSES

ROOMMATE WANTED 550 1 bedroom, near campus $300 per month 367-6626 304 E. Clark, C New Australian student needs roommates to share 4 BR. Fully furnished, A/C, heating, W/D. Josh, jcanto01@hotmail.com 3rd + Chalmers 1 bedroom in 4 bedroom apartment. 815-695-5836, 815-830-4331 814 W. Stoughton, Urbana Large, furnished 1 room of 5 in large house. Near engineering campus. Fast internet. $355/mo. + 1/5 utilities. 903-2190

www.ramshaw.com (217)359-6400

JTS Properties 328-4284 Urbana Houses Available August 2005

Near Campus, $350/ mo. 367-6626.

905 W. Main

Roommate Wanted, Starting in August for off campus home with sunroom. $325 includes utilities. Linda 328-1417

2 BR, 1 Bath, W/D, pets welcome, & off-street parking. $800/mo.

105 N. Coler

Newly remodeled 5 BR, 2 bath, hardwood floors, off-street parking with garage. $1500/mo.

SAFE street, new carpets/ interiors, furnished, 4 bedroom, 1 block from Lincoln & Green, central air, fireplace, living, dining, kitchen, W/D, includes parking, available August 15. No pets. $1400. 3673530 leave message.

ROOMS

530

Rooms available from $335/mo. 367-6626

SPRING SPECIALS!

570

Near Lincoln & Illinois. 1 garage also avaiable. 417-0566. Parking for rent at 2nd & Daniel and near 3rd & Gregory. 384-9444

RealEstateforSale 600 CONDOS/DUPLEXES

620

1310 Mumford, Urbana. 2 BR. C/ A, attached garage, laundry hookup, good location. Available Now. $615/ mo. 778-5000, 356-5153. Colony West Condo 2BR, W/D, D/W, 1st floor unit with walk- out patio. Access to pool and club house Available immediately. 384-0333

HOUSES

630

For Sale

Need roommate to share a 3 bedroom house. Off Neil and Hessel. $300/mo + utilities. 352-1704

Roommate wanted. Shared 2 BR with cats. $275/mo. Small deposit. Available now. Maranda 328-2880 Roommates wanted to share furnished 3 BR house near U of I. Huge backyard, W/D. $375/mo. + 1/3 of utilities. 979-219-3173. Roommates wanted to share spacious house in Urbana. W/D, furnished, full yard, hot tub, high speed internet, must be dog friendly. $350/ $400/mo. + 1/4 utilities. 369-5540. or dfdoane@uiuc.edu. Two male grads to share beautiful 4 bedroom, 2 bath house Urbana. $295. Off-street parking. 10 paces from bus. Washer/dryer. Available now. Chris 732-619-8385. cwhalen@ uiuc.edu.

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1609 West Church, Champaign Just minutes from the campus. House features: Arched doorways, Basement, Enclosed front porch. Remodeled ready for move in. $117,900. Call 202-5807. FSBO.COM#75514. Open House, Sunday 2-4.

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The back to school Funk-A-Thon Thursday, Aug. 18, 9pm- 1am @ the Urbana Armory. 600 E. University Ave. $10 per person. First 150 freshmen, $8. Call 217-365-0263.

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Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

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• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

DEADLINE:

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

Employment 000 HELP WANTED Part Time Impress all the hotties...with your new career in the exciting field of retail shoe sales. Lousy hours, lousy pay, mean boss. Store hours: MonThurs 9:30-5:30, Friday 9-7, Saturday 9-5. Please apply in person at Heel to Toe, Inc. 106 West Main St. Urbana. 352-7848 Need Drivers, kitchen help and phone person. Flexible shift (Day, evening and night). Call 355-3278 or Apply in store. Office assistant needed for property management. Apply in person at Roland Realty, at 212 E. Green, C. The Daily Illini is now hiring part-time Office Assistants for an immediate opening that may extend to the fall semester. Flexible scheduling available from late morning to early afternoon Monday- Friday. Duties include answering telephones, greeting customers, processing payments and various other duties. Enthusiasm and willingness to provide excellent internal and external customer service are a must. Interested applicants can stop by our office at 57 East Green St. to fill out application or email melanie@illinimedia.com

HELP WANTED

Office and Warehouse Associate. Flexible hours, Meyer Drapery 330 N. Neil. Downtown Champaign. Apply in person or send resume. 3525318.

Earn $5000 as an egg donor. Must be 20-29 and a non-smoker. Please call Alternative Reproductive Resources at 773-327-7315 or 847446-1001 to learn how you can help a family fulfill its dreams. Illinois FOP Fundraising Center Perfect opportunity for Students and Individuals looking for FT/ PT Employment. Earn $9 hr (after paid training). Year Round 1-800-809-8775 Now hiring at Bundles of Joy Learning Center. Infant Room Head Teacher and Pre-K Head Teacher. Must meet all DCFS Qualifications. Please call 355-1626. For more information.

HELP WANTED Summer Jobs

Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free. Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

035

Merchandise 200 GARAGE SALES

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280

Large Rumage Sale: Sat. Aug. 20th. 8am- 4pm. in the parking lot. Corner of Springfield & Wright. Unique items such as movie posters, collectors plates, coins, dolls, pianos, and large furniture. Rain or shine. 403. S. Wright, C.

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Transportation 300 AUTOMOBILES

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2002 Pontiac Grand Prix. 2 door GT. 7500 mi. excellent condition. $9500. 351-7732

BICYCLES

320

Specialized P-3 Bicycle. OBO. 217-637-1089.

Apartments

1107 S. EUCLID, C

BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480. 1 Br. $370 2 BR. $470 3 BR. $750 4 BR $755 Campus. 367-6626. Campus 2 room, stove, refrigerator, utilities, Parking. $390/m. 356-2476, 356-6191. EXECUTIVE LOFT 201 S. Wright St., Champaign. Adjacent to Engineering campus. Loft bedroom, security parking, balcony, A/C, laundry. Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012

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1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $545 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking. Fall 04, 367-6626 1 bedroom lofts $525 2 bedrooms $585 3 bedrooms $750 4 bedrooms $875 Campus, parking. Fall ‘05, 367-6626 1 BR in 4 BR apartment. $350/mo, includes all utilities. 367-6626.

Aug 2005. Very attractive units in newer building. On bus line, near downtown Urbana and campus. Washer/dryers in each unit; covered parking; balconies. Two bedroom apts from $735/mo. To furnish $50/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

609 W. MAIN, U. Renting Aug 2005. 2 bedroom apts Furnished $525/mo. Parking optional, Central A/C, Carpet, laundry facilities, Gas Heat, Ethernet connection avail. Showing 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Available for Fall 407 E. University. Luxury one bedrooms, fully equipped- microwave, washer/dryer in-unit. Security building with elevator. Balconies, underground parking. Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012 Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550 per month. 367-6626. Available now. Efficiencies 1, 2, 3 bedrooms. $390- $750/mo. 7664746. Large, Luxury, Quiet. 2 Br. Loft apt. Close to campus, No smoke, No pets, utilities paid, with W/D. $700. 355-9463.

NO BULL!

Free Best Buy and Campus Tan gift certificate with each signed lease! Remodeled apartments that redefine campus living. 3 and 4 bedroom apartments available at 810 S. Oak St. between John and Daniel in Champaign. 3 bedroom apartment at $999/mo. (only $333 per roommate!) 4 bedroom apartment at $999/mo. (less than $250 per roommate!) High-speed internet, water, and trash included! Laundry in building. NINE MONTH LEASES NEGOTIABLE

217-384-6930

PRICES SLASHED 1405-1407 W. KIRBY, C

Aug 2005. Very attractive Colonial building. Great location on bus line. Large 2 bedroom corner apts approx 800 sq. ft. were $450/mo, now $425/mo. Interior 2 bedroom apts were $425/mo, now $395/mo. $50/mo to furnish. Central A/C, carpet, laundry, parking available. Apartments shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com Sunnycrest Apartments 1717 E. Florida, U Large 1 and 2 BR apartments. Includes water and parking, on-site laundry, pool. Starting @ $450/mo. Campo Rental Agency 344-1927.

UNIQUE Available Fall. 1 bedroom loft apartment. Fully equipped. Balcony, parking. 409 W. Green. Call Hardwick Apartments, 356-5272 or 621-1012.

APARTMENTS

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Furnished 1 BR. $390 C/A. 404 E. Hill, C. 7213033.

1006 S. 3RD, C. Aug 2005. 1 bedroom. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

104 E. Armory, C.

CLASSIFIEDS 337-8337

Available now and Fall 2005. Extra large 1 bd and efficiencies. Prices ranging from $375-485. Off-street parking, security building, & 5 floor plans to choose from. Make your appointment today!

1140 sq/ft. Condo, 2 bedroom, garage, w/d, dishwasher, A/C. 814 Sunset, Urbana. $750/mo. Negotiable 344-9318 or 244-8040.

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Furnished/Unfurnished

111 E. Healey, Champaign

JTS Properties 328-4284

$550/

APARTMENTS

Aug 2005 rental. Near Armory, IMPE and Snack Bar. 1 bedroom apts. Window A/C, Gas Heat, laundry. Parking $35/mo. Rents start at $395/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

3 & 4 bedroom apartment, 2 baths. All new furniture. Great Location. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

dailyillini.com

301 E. White, C. 2 BR apartment avaiable mid- August, includes water and parking. $625/mo. Campo Rental Agency 344-1927.

304 & 306 E. Clark, C Castle Apartments 3 blocks to Engineering Quad. 3 BR $690, 4 BR $890. C/A, ceiling fan, dishwasher, washer/dryer in unit. 384-1099, castle_apartments@ameritech.net

311 E. WHITE, C Avail Aug 2005. Large furnished efficiencies close to Beckman Center. Rent starts at $325/mo. Parking avail at $30/mo. Window A/C, carpet, High Speed Internet connection avail. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

503- 505- 508 E. White Now & Fall 2005 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kenny, 493-0429. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

509 W. MAIN, U. Quiet Urbana location very close to campus avail for Aug 2005. 1 BR apts. Rents start at $405/mo. Carpet, laundry facilities, window A/C, storage, parking avail at $25/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

602 E. Stoughton Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet, and parking available. Must see!! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

JOHN STREET APARTMENTS

507 W. White, C. Contemporary 2 BR, now available. In the heart of Old-town Champaign. $510/mo, 352-8540, 377-4677pm. www.faronproperties.com

MJM/Chateau Apartments

515 W. WASHINGTON, C.

Champaign 2 Bedrooms

Newly remodeled, 1 BR, Now available. $395/mo. Near dowtown Champaign. 352-8540. www.faronproperties.com

403 E. White - $540/mo. 302 S. Fourth - $540/mo. 405 E. White - $400/mo.

606 S. PRAIRIE, C Huge 1 bedroom apts in quiet Champaign neighborhood near campus and bus line. Perfect for Grad Students. Gas heat, window a/c, free off street parking. Priced $50/mo below competition. From $380/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

All Units: Carpet, A/C, Appliances Cable & Internet Ready Parking Available On-Site Laundry

Ask Tenant Union about us 390-2377

616 Healey Quiet 1 bedroom, free parking, water, trash. $385. 352-6101.

703 W. CHURCH, C Furnished one bedrooms and efficiencies from $325, $365, and $395 near John and Second or Healey and Third. 356-1407.

GREAT VALUE

306- 308- 309 White August 2005. 1 & 3 Bedroom furnished apts. Balconies, patios, laundry, dishwashers, off-street parking, ethernet available. 352-3182 or 8411996 anytime, 309 S. First. The University Group www.ugroup96.com GREAT VALUE - Furnished efficiencies $260. Call Mike 898-5100, 3551400 any time. kukreti@uiuc.edu LANDO PLACE 707 South 6th, C. Large 1 BR. Includes water and trash removal. On-site Laundry. Secured Building. Local phone service and ethernet. Parking Available. From $580/mo. CAMPO RENTAL AGENCY 344-1927 New Building “Lofts on John” One bedroom, unfurnished, W/D, dishwasher, opening August 05 $650/mo. Near John and 2nd. Call 356-1407

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510 S. Elm Available Fall 2005. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, dishwasher, W/D, central air/heat, off street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. $525/mo. 841-1996. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

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Unfurnished 1 bedroom in older home. $625/ mo. Utilities included. 314 S. State St, Champaign. 369-7205

58 E. John August 2005. Two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwashers, center courtyard, on-site laundry, central air, ethernet available. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 Showings Monday-Friday 10-5 Saturday 11-4

1 BR. 806 S. Randolph. All utilities paid. No pets. Available now. $495/mo. Nice just off campus. Scott Bechetel. Re/max. 373-4866.

Parkview Apartments 121 W. Park, Urbana Efficiency apartments for fall. Includes water, trash removal, on-site laundry. $395/mo. Campo Rental Agency 344-1927.

404 S. Prairie, C Conveniently located 2 bedroom townhouse. Now available. Near campus and downtown Champaign, $510/mo. 352-8540, 377-4677 pm. www.faronproperties.com

1004 S. Anderson, U.

Quiet area large 1 bedroom in 1940’s building. Lots of windows. Garage included in rent. NO PETS. $485 + utilities. 359-5115.

s o u n d s

OFF CAMPUS 356-1931 207 W. Eureka. $950. 3 bedroom. All hardwood. New ceramic tile kitchen. New oak cabinets and appliances. 2 full ceramic tile baths. 1 car garage. 209 W. Eureka. 2- 4 bedrooms, 1 bath, sunporch, $750.

Cover Design • Brittany Bindrim Editor in chief • Paul Wagner Art Director • Claire Napier Copy Chief • Paul Wagner Music • Kyle Gorman Arts • Constance Beitzel Film • Andrew Vecelas Community • Erin Scottberg Calendar • Erin Scottberg Photography Editor • David Solana Designers • Brittany Bindrim, Nikita Sorokin, Obumneme Asota Calendar Coordinators • Cassie Conner, Todd Swiss Photography • Austin Happel Copy Editors • Sarah Goebel, Gary Peeples Staff Writers • Todd Swiss, Paul Prikazsky, Syd Slobodnik, Beth Dillman, Todd J. Hunter Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein Production Manager • Meredith Niepert Sales Manager • Anna Rost Marketing/Distribution • Louis Reeves III Publisher • Mary Cory

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LISTEN, HEAR The Orange Peels interview • Susan Schomburg Jefferson Airplane review • Kyle Gorman Sound Ground #89 • Todd J. Hunter Dave King review • Kyle Gorman The Hurly Burly & What the Hell?

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Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

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The Local Sniff • Seth Fein This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening First Things First • Michael Coulter Free Will Astrology Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney

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TALK TO BUZZ

INTRO

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Krannert preview • Jeff Nelson Feature author • Constance Beitzel Artist’s Corner with Nathan Clark (Th)ink • Keef Knight

THE SILVER SCREEN The Skeleton Key review • Paul Prikazsky Four Brothers review • David Just Deuce Bigalow review • Andrew Crewell March of the Penguins review • Syd Slobodnik Movie Time Listings Slowpoke • Jen Sorensen Drive Through Reviews

CLASSIFIEDS

EDITOR’S NOTE PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

It’s about that time, again.

You know, the time when you have to move apartments. Unfortunately for many tennants in C-U, especially students, there is a crazy limbo period when they have no home. I was fortunate enough to avoid this homelessness by choosing to clean my new apartment on my own instead of having the landlord do it. But I was one of the lucky few. Many of my friends that changed apartments from last year are stashing their stuff at friends’ apartments or in their cars, and living on couches.Which blows. But moving brings positive things, too. Sure, there’s always the apprehension that comes with packing up your entire life into boxes, throwing them in a car, and moving them all over town, but that feeling quickly goes away, assuming you don’t break anything. Moving into my new apartment was an awesome time. I moved down the hall from my old place, so my roommate and I didn’t even pack stuff, we just carried it right over. So that was nice. But the thrill came from setting up the new apartment. A new place is like a blank canvas, waiting for you to add your personality to it.The best addition to my new place was a dart board, put up by my roommate Steve and I, with our own bare hands ... and a level.

Dorm rooms are ok to decorate, too, but there’s only so much you can do with a white concrete wall. No matter what, the place usually comes out looking like a prison cell, anyway. Although I’ve seen, and lived in, some pretty kick-ass dorm rooms in my day. New houses obviously offer the most room for personalizing. Every room gets its own look, and you even get a yard and other goodies to play with.There are some familes that take the look of their house WAY too seriously, though, in my opinion at least. My family is not one of those. Our lawn is often uncut, my dad attempts to garden, but he doesn’t really know what he’s doing (sorry Dad), our dogs tear everything up anyway, and our bushes are all overgrown. But something about improving the look of your home brings an incredible sense of pride. As much as my dad doesn’t know about gardening, he started and finished a great home improvement project in my backyard that I got to help out with. He ripped out a giant picnic table from my deck and replaced it with stairs and lots of open space. He ripped out a tree from the ground, and I got to build a fire pit. Basically we took our porch and backyard from crappy to awesome.And it felt great. So I guess the point of this is that a change of scenery can really brighten your day. Go out there and change something if you can, I think it’lldo you some good. - Paul

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INDEX

AU G . 18

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PRICES SLASHED FAIRLAWN VILLAGE FAIRLAWN & VINE SEMESTER LEASES Aug 2005. Live in a peaceful, relaxed, neighborhood setting. Fairlawn Village is a one-story apartment community, spread out on twelve acres, close to U of I, shopping and walking distance to schools. Spacious apartments with washer/dryer hook up, a/c, and garages available.Two bedrooms from $500 to $550/mo. Call for an appointment. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 344-5043 www.barr-re.com

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first things first

“I’ll keep you safe, baby”

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BROKEN FLOWERS Bill Murray and Sharon Stone Broken Flowers won the Grand Prize at the Cannes Film Festival, which it justly deserved. A film that relies solely on story and its characters is always a cause for celebration. The writing and direction are in top form. A funny movie that doesn’t try too hard to be funny is indeed a rarity in Hollywood. The quartet of actresses that portray Murray’s former flames ignite the screen with a warmth and exuberance unmatched in their previous roles. Even though the mundane atmosphere bogs down the unique film, the substance outweighs its style. Don Johnston is a womanizer—essentially not a very likable guy, but Murray imbues a certain indescribable quality in him that makes him likable. And let’s face it; Bill Murray could make reading the paper hilarious.(Paul Prikazsky)

Just as long as we can go to the 1960s Bar in Wiltshire, England and get bombed MICHAEL COULTER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

very so often, I’ll see a movie with a chick and a dude making out. Okay, I stopped for a moment and realized I see this more than once in awhile and yes, it’s called pornography, but in this case, I was speaking about a proper Hollywood sort of movie. Sometimes, the girl will look longingly into the guy’s eyes and say “I feel so safe with you.” Yeah, whatever, about the most romantic thing a girl has ever said to me while I was holding her was to ask if her car would be safe parked on the street, but movies don’t really reflect real life. In fact, they don’t reflect real life in the least. Let’s face it, there aren’t too many places to be truly safe anymore. Fortunately, a British magazine called Focus has gone to the trouble of finding the most safe and secure places to be in these troubled times. None of them is in the arms of anyone else. Having arms around you may give the illusion of safety, but having three hundred yards of concrete around you really seals the deal. Let’s take a look at some of the safest places. The Cheyenne Mountain Air Force Station

is the command center for NORAD. It’s 2000 feet underground, so I’m guessing it’s pretty safe there. I bet the folks who work there are a pleasure during a tornado warning. “Okay, everyone head to the basement.”Two thousand feet every time a flashing “W” pops up on the corner of the TV screen? That’s really gotta shoot the piss out of your work day. I wonder if they go down about a thousand feet if there’s a tornado watch, just to get a head start. Another supposedly safe-assed place is the maximum security ADX-Florence Prison in Colorado. They’ve got all kinds of cameras and electronic doors and such to keep everyone under control. One guard can take care of several prisoners. Well, I’ll say this, I appreciate the effort, but I’m guessing no amount of electronic security is gonna keep a 400 pound guy named “Tiny” from tapping your ass in the middle of the night if he truly wants to.The words “prison” and “safety” really just don’t work together for me. One strange place that’s supposed to be safe is Saddam Hussein’s bunker in Baghdad. In fact, even if it gets hit by an atomic bomb, the folks inside are expected to be able to live for six months. Six months? I saw the way that filthy bastard looked when the troops dragged him

out of that hole a while back and let me tell you, six months in a shelter with “Stinky” Hussein probably wouldn’t make anyone feel especially secure. “Um, hey there, Stinky Stinkerton, you know that shower over in the corner is not just for decoration, right?” The safe places get even stranger. If you need to be safe in Utah, head to the Mormon Church records vault in the Granite Mountains. The vaults are encased in rock, and metal gates and security men surround the entrance. Wow, maybe if I sealed my house in rock and put metal gates at the entrance those damned white- shirted Mormons on bicycles wouldn’t ring my doorbell once a month in a pitiful attempt to get my sinning ass up to heaven. Seriously fellas, enough already. I just wouldn’t feel right riding a bicycle with a tie on all the way to the Promised Land. Of course, all of the places aren’t weird. Fort Knox is on the list, but that’s to be expected since we keep our gold there. Gold is very important, after all, so it should either be locked behind a door that weighs 24.6 tons or housed safely in the teeth of rap artists. Sure, you might be safe there, but after a few months inside, everyone comes out looking like the late Ol’ Dirty Bastard. Seriously, the temptation is just too great.

Another recognizable name is Area 51.They tested the U2 spy plane there a long time ago but it’s mostly known because of all the aliens. I love a good conspiracy so let’s just assume there are aliens there. Hell, even with the extraterrestrials, I think I’d feel pretty secure. If I was ever threatened by the aliens, I think I could mock them into not picking on me. “What’s the matter, you space monkeys can’t fly your space Michael Coulter ships? You guys ain’t so tough. is a videographer, comedian Aliens? More like gayliens.” I skipped a few less interest- and sort of a ing places, but I saved the best smart-ass. But for last. It’s in Wiltshire, we love him anyEngland and it’s called the way, and don’t 1960s Bar. It was constructed know why. in, you guessed it, the 1960s in Probably an underground bunker, and, because he’s so damn funny. you guessed it again, it is a bar. It’s radiation-proof and the best part is…um, it’s a bar. It’s a place to drink and it’s secure. So, if the shit ever hits the fan, that’s where I’m headed. Really, it’s a perfect match: the false sense of well-being alcohol gives me combined with hundreds of feet of concrete. I feel safer just thinking about it.

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YOU GOT TO LEARN NOT TO TALK TO NUNS THAT WAY

BAD NEWS BEARS

CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY

Billy Bob Thornton & Marcia Gay Harden The film’s biggest sin is the complete misuse of the talents of Marcia Gay Harden, a quality actress who won an Oscar several years ago for Pollack. She’s wasted playing the stereotypical lawyer mom who cannot make enough quality time for her boy. Like many of the feeble remakes already seen this summer, Linklater’s Bad News Bears is ultimately an unnecessary endeavor. (Syd Slobodnik)

BATMAN BEGINS Christian Bale & Katie Holmes Batman Begins does what no other DC superhero movie has done before (with the exception of Tim Burton’s Batman), it completely gets it right. From the origins of Bruce Wayne to the equipment Batman uses, Batman Begins adds an element of realism to this classic fictional character. Batman Begins will appeal to both Batman fans and the casual moviegoer as well. It has drama, martial arts action, suspense, great special effects, and what makes every movie just a little bit better (at least in my opinion), ninjas. (Brian Nichols)

Johnny Depp & Freddie Highmore Based on a more literal adaptation of Roald Dahl’s sumptuous children’s book of the same name, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory has darker roots than the 1971 original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, but the premise remains the same. The original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory may seem dated now, but Gene Wilder pulled off the benevolent candy man to pitch perfection. He brought a warmth and impeccable sense of humor to the character, which was absent in Depp’s performance. Even the original’s intolerable children weren’t as venomous as they are in Burton’s version. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory appears as a tasty treat with a sugary coat, but disappoints with its sour center. (Paul Prikaszky)

DUKES OF HAZZARD Sean William Scott & Jessica Simpson Basically, Boss Hogg (Bur t Reynolds), who somehow owns the town and the police, wants to turn Hazard County into a coal mine. But Bo and Luke, with the help of another cousin, Daisy Duke (Jessica

Simpson), Uncle Jesse (Willie Nelson), and General Lee, their Dodge Charger with the Confederate Flag emblazoned on the roof, take the law into their own hands to stop them. If the film had stuck purely to the Southern humor found in Uncle Jesse’s joke “Why are divorces so expensive? ‘Cause they’re wor th it!,” the film may have succeeded. The Dukes of Hazzard fits right in with the rest of the remakes and retreads Hollywood has spit out this summer. Whoever thought we’d get to the point where we were making sequels of remakes, or remakes of sequels? Dukes is not stupid enough to be funny, and thus, not funny enough to be good. (David Just)

THE ISLAND Scarlett Johansson & Ewan McGregor Lincoln Six-Echo (Ewan McGregor) and Jordan TwoDelta (Scarlett Johansson) live in a not-too-distant future where a plague has contaminated the world’s population. They live in a self-contained community with other survivors where they lead rigorously scheduled lives. All inhabitants eagerly wait for selection to the island: the last uncontaminated spot on the planet, where they are expected to start civilization again. At least, that’s what their godlike leader, Merrick (Sean Bean) wants them to believe. But they have all been deceived. It is disheartening to see a film with boundless potential fall apart. In the hands of a more capable director, The Island could have been a wonderful sci-fi film. It has one of the few unique premises to hit the screen this summer. But the promising story succumbs to the machinations of a materialistic director, whose visual aura suffocates the story. (Paul Prikazsky)

MUST LOVE DOGS John Cusack & Diane Lane Lane is Sarah Nolan, a recently divorced preschool teacher, nervous about diving head-first into the vexing world of dating. Then her wisecracking sister, Carol (Elizabeth Perkins) offers a solution: Internet dating. After all, it seems to have worked for their father, Bill (Christopher Plummer)—an aging Don Juan with more suitorettes than he can handle. But after a few disastrously

bad dates, Sarah is understandably skeptical. Then there’s Jake (John Cusack), a recent divorcee and boat builder with a penchant for Dr. Zhivago. Insert love interest here. Must Love Dogs has innumerable downfalls. With a clichéd plot and characters, phony romance, sophomoric comedy, and poor writing, it’s a wonder this adaptation of Claire Cook’s well-received novel of the same name ever made it to the big screen. (Paul Prikazsky)

STEALTH Josh Lucas & Jessica Biel Stealth has good intentions and is rather ambitious when compared to some of director Rob Cohen’s previous work, like The Fast and the Furious. It wows us from the get-go with the flying capabilities of three Navy pilots who have been selected out of a pool of 400 to fly the newest state-of-the-art fighter jets. Ben, Kara, and Henry (Josh Lucas, Jessica Biel, Jamie Foxx) are a reliable and professional triumvirate, uneasy about the addition of a fourth team member, an artificially intelligent plane. Stealth’s heart is in the right place, but that isn’t enough to warrant seeing this film. Not even the nice visual effects could save this one. (David Just)

WEDDING CRASHERS Owen Wilson & Vince Vaughn Wedding Crashers is the type of movie that hoards of moviegoers have been waiting for since Old School. It has guys, girls, guys objectifying girls, awe-inspiring profanity and booze. And it is totally awesome. Weddings have a distinct reputation for making the dresses fly off faster than a crazy frat guy can pop his collar. Socialite wannabes and tail-chasers Jeremy and John, played by Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson, have caught on and seemingly don’t miss a wedding in the greater D.C. area for this very reason. Together, these two have worked themselves into one of the greatest gigs in Washington, finding big-name weddings and weaseling their way inside to partake in the best that the highpriced reception has to offer. In 20 years, Wedding Crashers, Old School and Anchorman could be the cult classics that Blues Brothers, Ghostbusters and Caddyshack are now. (Andrew Crewell)

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ANDREW CREWELL â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo was a bit unex-

pected since Deuce ended his first film by marrying a one-legged customer. However, the clever Rob Schneider must have spent months toiling over how to get around that fact to open the doors for this far from anticipated follow-up. He ultimately settled on having her eaten by sharks, but surely that's only because turning her into a fem-bot was already taken. Paying homage to his lost love however, he still carries her wooden leg around with him. In round two we see TJ, Deuce's pimp played by Eddie Griffin, in Amsterdam and desperately in need of his old cash cow across the pond. When Deuce arrives he is immediately overwhelmed by his impressively-groomed competition and the equally impressive names they sport, like the local attraction Assapopoulos. Once in Europe, Deuce sets his sights on uncovering a vile drain on the underbelly of society, a serial killer eliminating the local male escort population. All the while, the audience sees Deuce soliciting his way through the old Continent as he runs into the same kind of

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MARCH OF THE PENGUINS SYD SLOBODNIK â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

arch of the Penguins is one of the surprise box office successes of this summerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s movie season. This modest budget documentary, by French filmmaker and former scientist, Luc Jacquet, has quickly become the second-most popular non-fiction film in history, only trailing in profits to Michael Mooreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Fahrenheit 9/11.The film, a co-production of a French film company, Warner Independent Films and National Geographic Feature Films, passionately tells the story of a tribe of Antarctic emperor penguins in their annual breeding trek. Narrated in this English version by the mellow voice of Morgan Freeman, the film tells a moving story of animal adventure, survival and love. In their March-to-November journey through the Antarctic winter, these penguins face some of the planetâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most extreme temperatures and weather conditions.While temperatures reach 50 to 80 degrees below zero, the birds partake like clockwork in the centuries-old rituals of their speciesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;life cycle.With much fascinating detail, Jacquetâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s camera captures some of the most mundane animal

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TAU RU S

ROB SCHNEIDER & EDDIE GRIFFIN

much attention to the posters, children of America will begin to place the Leaning Tower of Pisa in the Netherlands. While some of these observations may be right on, they don't fit in with the slapstick theme of the film at all. The out-of-place distractions prove how little story there actually is, as the film clocks in under 80 minutes even after the unnecessary additions. For those of you wondering why a festering turd like this still managed a full star on the rating system, it's just a precaution. Zero stars has already been reserved for the possible third sequel: Deuce Bigalow: Bolivian Gigolo. Though it might not be able to be any worse, it's still comforting to think that Hollywood could learn from its mistakes and close up shop before a third is made.

PENGUINS

trying to find his lunch before mother penguins chase the pest away. Alternately sentimental, sweet and joyously innocent, with a biting sense of realism, March of the Penguins never falls to the level of the sappy Disney live-action nature documentaries of their television years. While the film does leave several questions in a thoughtful viewerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mind about various behaviors of the penguins, especially those that experience the hardships of lost offspring, the film is mostly successful and effective in its goal to educate and entertain a wide audience. Guided by Freemanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s melodic, humanistic voiceovers, and often beautiful visuals, the film creates a thoughtful experience that is rather rare at commercial movie theaters during most summers.

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I MEAN SHIT, THE CRAZY MOOD SWINGS OF GAS PRICES ARE GETTING TO BE MORE THAN I CAN TAKE.

Minnesota radio station KNUJ came up with a unique proposal for how the governor and top legislators could deal with their intractable conflict: They would have a wrestling match in a large vat filled with sauerkraut. I think you should adopt this idea for your own use, Ariesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;though I suggest that maybe you and your adversary conduct your grapple in a sweeter-smelling substance than fermented cabbage. How about Jell-o or pudding, for instance? One way or another, find a constructive way to resolve disagreements or hostilities by using a half-playful, half-serious approach.

behaviors in an alwaysinteresting manner. Much of the filmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s magic comes from Jacquetâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ease in making the audience project human qualities and emotions to the trials and tribulations of these stoic and often elegant animals. Jacquet and his two cinematographers, Laurent Chalet and Jerome Maison, frequently alter nate awesome vistas of frozen MARCH OF THE PENGUINS â&#x20AC;˘ lands containing rows of methodical penguins marching in near-perfect formation with close-up tender scenes of penguin pairs first courting almost poetically, and then affectionately caring for their delicate egg and later their frail, furry offspring. Younger audiences will especially love the many parallels to human family tales this film portrays. The plotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s other high points include the delicate transfer of the eggsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; care from the female to the male, as the mother leaves the safe breeding grounds and returns to the ocean on a 70 mile hike for food, while the father basically faces near starvation during the coldest months of winter. Elements of suspense are introduced when predators briefly appear, as a leopard seal snags a couple of mother penguins in its search for food. Later a gull-like bird snaps at several chicks

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AU G . 18

(April 20-May 20)

Surveys show that many parents in England cut away the crusts before serving bread to their children. Responding to this need, a baking company has begun marketing bread without crusts. I mention this, Taurus, because pre-made crustless bread is a good metaphor for the experiences you'll soon be offered in abundance: soft, spongy sweetness that you can freely access without having to break through any hard outer layers. I won't be surprised if you get tired of it after a while, though, and start seeking out adventures with more crunch. But in the short run you might find it very relaxing.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

"If you dig a hole deep enough into the earth," the grandmother of my friend Carlos used to tell him when he was a kid, "you can see the sun rise at night." From a metaphorical perspective, that's good advice for you right now, Gemini. In order to get to the highest place possible, you might have to dive down deeper than you ever have before. To find the illumination you need, you should probably explore the densest darkness.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

In his horoscope column in The Onion, retired machinist Lloyd Shumner told those of us born under the sign of Cancer, "You lack initiative, which means that you usually wait until someone

yells 'Get funky!' before you get funky." The coming week will be the perfect time for us to prove him wrong, my fellow Crabs. Our initiative will be overflowing, especially in regards to tasks that involve getting funky.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

According to the legends of many cultures, every one of us has a doppelganger somewhere on the planet: a person who looks exactly like us. The modern sciences of genetics and statistics go further, saying that there are at least 80 people worldwide who are our spitting image. If you're ever going to meet one of these doubles, Leo, it will probably be in the coming weeks. But even if you don't, I predict that the whole world will become a giant mirror, reflecting back to you visions of yourself that you haven't been able to see before.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Who did you start out to be, Virgo? It's time to remember that. I urge you to muse about the ways you could benefit from renewing a connection to your origins. Revisit your earliest sources of truth. Think about whether you're still on track to become the person you knew you could be when your vision was still fresh and innocent. Here's a good way to anchor your explorations in concrete reality: Meditate on the scientifically verified fact that with each breath, you re-inhale at least one molecule you first took in during the minutes after you were born.

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Physicist Jonathan Huebner says scientists are running out of bright ideas. "We are approaching the point when the rate of innovation is the same as it was during the Dark Ages," he wrote in New Scientist magazine. That argument seems wrong to me. Everyone I know is awash in the changes unleashed by new technology. But just in case his theory has any merit, I call on Libran inventors to begin reversing the trend. After all, you're now at the height of your ability to generate constructive novelty. So are all the rest of you Librans, for that matter. Get out there and unleash a flurry of good changes.

57 Drink Mencken called "The only American invention as perfect as the sonnet" 60 Library's attempt at copying milk ads? 62 Like leftovers 63 Camden Yards squad 64 He's a little froggy 65 Keep it to yourself Down 1 Fanfare noise 2 Deputy played by Michael Weston in the new "Dukes of Hazzard" movie 3 They're stroked but not seen 4 "Sarkisian," for Cher, once 5 Gathering dust 6 County gatherings 7 Like some refills 8 Elephant lover 9 Not-quite-ready-to-fold remark 10 Tayback who played Mel on "Alice" 11 Lang. that doesn't really contain that many words for "snow" 12 Forest floor growth 13 Blurry area, maybe 14 Witherspoon who played an angel in "Little Nicky" 21 Confidential phrase 24 Get ___ your own game 26 Pt. of ESL 27 "If ___ be so bold..." 28 Shat this clue has 29 Took, as with a burden 30 Redundant description of a cash dispenser

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(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Located north of the Arctic Circle, the Northwest Passage is a body of water that joins the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. Large parts of it are frozen over most of the year, though, so it's not a practical way for ships to travel. The U.S. regards the Northwest Passage as international territory, but Canada recently claimed it as its own sovereign territory. Canadian Defense Minister Bill Graham foresees a time when global warming will have melted so much ice that it will become a viable sea route of great value to his country. Be like Graham this week, Scorpio. Peer into the future and scan for potential resources that are as yet unrecognized or unready. Make them yours now, while they're still cheap and available.

S AG I T TA R I U S

(Nov. 22-Dec.21)

I live six miles from one of the world's most notorious penitentiaries, San Quentin. Both Charlie Manson and Sirhan Sirhan have spent time there, and a recent riot injured 42 inmates. Though I've never had a major itch to visit the place, I felt differently after hearing about a gift store within the prison walls. I corralled a friend and the two of us made an impulsive field trip there. As we grazed amidst the prisoners' handiwork, including birdhouses fashioned out of cigar boxes, paintings of clowns on velvet, and banjos made from bedpans, I had a psychic epiphany. I realized that my situation was similar to your imminent future: You, too, will find weird little treasures while just visiting a place where other people are trapped.

C A P R I C O R N (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Let's discuss the differences between dumb, unproductive

pain and smart, useful pain. The former is the kind you keep being drawn back to out of habit. It's familiar, and therefore perversely comfortable. The latter is the kind of pain that surprises you with valuable teachings and inspires you to see the world with new eyes. While stupid pain is often borne of fear,

jonesin crossword puzzle Across 1 Starts a hole 8 Steel worker of sorts 15 All pointy and line-y 16 Season division 17 Yell directed at a much-hated portal? 18 Speedo bunch 19 Org. 20 "Classic Concentration" puzzle type 22 Word before Moines or Plaines 23 Target of crunches 25 "Charlotte's Web" author White and namesakes 26 In ___ (at heart) 27 Voice mail message opener, if you know someone well 30 Georgia airport code 31 "Celebrity Fit Club" host 32 "What will break if I break up with you?" response, for a thuggish couple? 37 Where letters are sent to the mil. 38 Futuristic Van Damme flick of 1994 39 Sweet suffix 40 Vegetarian's "Duh!" response to why they hate their formerly vegan pal? 43 Tennis call 44 Curry of "Today" 45 Illegal lighting 46 Early gay rights advocate Andre 48 1994 campus comedy with a cameo by George Clinton 49 Wind dir. 50 Mass. ___ (Boston thoroughfare, to locals) 51 Play co-written by Mark Twain and Bret Harte 53 Prepare the night before

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Homework: Confess your deepest secrets to yourself. Say them out loud when no one but you is listening. Testify at www.freewillastrology.com. wise pain is stirred up by love. The dumb, unproductive stuff comes from allowing yourself to be controlled by your early conditioning and from doing things that are out of harmony with your essence. The smart, useful variety arises out of a willingness to live passionately and with a sense of adventure. Can you guess which type I'm urging you to gravitate toward right now, Capricorn?

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

To promote my new book, Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia, I've tried to set up lectures at bookstores. One place I contacted was A Clean Well-Lit Place for Books in San Francisco. It turned me down. Ironically, I was later able to score a gig at a spot called A Dirty Poorly-Lit Place for Books. It's a seedy dive in a rundown neighborhood. My audience was a handful of rowdies instead of the well-heeled crowd that might have seen me at the other store, and I sold just one book. But I enjoyed my time thoroughly, as my uninhibited congregation joined me in my favorite rituals, like kicking our own asses, burning money, throwing imaginary stones at heaven, and dancing in slowmotion on tabletops. Would audience members at A Clean WellLit Place for Books have done that? I think not. The moral of the story, Aquarius: It'll be very lucky if you, like me, have to settle for your second choice in the coming week.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

You don't need to know how your computer and car work in order to use them. Their inner workings may be unfathomable, but that doesn't matter as long as you benefit from what they do for you. Let's apply that same principle to a certain relationship that is perplexing you. You obviously get something out of your alliance with this person, since you've chosen not to leave it. Yet you seem bothered by the fact that you can't figure out what you are to each other and where you're supposed to go next. My advice? For now, stop trying to understand it. Just surrender to the fruitful mystery. Simply let your connection perform its enigmatic magic.

2+2=4

Dominant figures "___ of Me" (1993 PJ Harvey album) Auction grouping Capital home to the Viking Ship Museum Ultra-bright Donkey's sound Set for kids Entire range Donald's ex

48 49 52 54 55 56 58 59 61

Dashboard Annoy your bedmate, in a way "Young Frankenstein" role Part of a reversal, maybe Iowa State's city Pigsty Bug on the line Lance of the O.J. Trial Leave change on the table

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THE GREAT RAID (R) Fri. Thu. 1:10 4:05 7:00 9:55 â&#x2014;&#x2020; DEUCE BIGALOW (R) Fri. 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:15 9:20 11:35 Sat. 11:00 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:15 9:20 11:35 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:15 9:20 SKELETON KEY (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. 1:55 4:30 7:10 9:40 12:05 Sat. 11:10 1:55 4:30 7:10 9:40 12:05 Sun. - Thu. 1:55 4:30 7:10 9:40 FOUR BROTHERS (R) Fri. 1:40 4:15 7:05 9:35 12:05 Sat. 11:15 1:40 4:15 7:05 9:35 12:05 Sun. - Thu. 1:40 4:15 7:05 9:35 SUPERCROSS (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. 1:35 3:35 5:35 7:35 9:35 11:35 Sat. 11:35 1:35 3:35 5:35 7:35 9:35 11:35 Sun. - Thu. 1:35 3:35 5:35 7:35 9:35 40 YEAR-OLD VIRGIN (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:10 4:10 7:10 9:50 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 1:10 4:10 7:10 9:50 VALIANT (G) Fri. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:00 9:00 11:00 Sat. 11:00 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:00 9:00 11:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:00 9:00 RED EYE (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. 1:25 3:30 5:35 7:40 9:45 11:45 Sat. 11:20 1:25 3:30 5:35 7:40 9:45 11:45 Sun. - Thu. 1:25 3:30 5:35 7:40 9:45

DEUCE BIGALOW: EUROPEAN GIGOLO

goofy-malady stricken ladies that he did in the first flick. In fact, after exchanging the ladies of the first film for Big-Eared Girl, Dirty Girl, the Hunchback Girl, and his new love interest Eva, aka Obsessive Compulsive Girl, the movie is basically the same minus the novelty. European Gigolo is not a complete loss, though. Some of the jokes are so completely out of good taste that the only thing to do is laugh. It's pleasant to see political correctness play no role either, as that can just get in the way. DEUCE BIGALOW â&#x20AC;˘ And in the off-chance the audience is still around at the credits you can snicker at Eva's real name: Hanna Verboom. On top of having a name straight out of a Mel Brooks film she's also easy on the eyes; that is if you can tune out the abhorrent screenplay vomiting from her face. Unfortunately, just when you think you can take the film lightly and maybe squeeze out a laugh, the writers remind you how out of their league they are. Commentary on the French as non-productive members of society and alerting us to the fact the Europeans are against the war in Iraq is uncalled for.The Dutch are stereotyped as a bunch of fraternity basement-dwelling potheads and worst of all, if the middle school adolescents sneaking in underage are paying too

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COLUMBIA PICTURES

BATMAN BEGINS (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. - Thu. 7:00 9:50 WAR OF WORLDS (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:40 12:15 Sat. 11:15 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:40 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:40 WEDDING CRASHERS (R) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:40 4:15 7:10 9:50 Sat. 11:10 1:40 4:15 7:10 9:50 CHARLIE & CHOCOLATE (PG) Fri. 1:25 4:00 7:00 9:35 12:00 Sat. 11:00 1:25 4:00 7:00 9:35 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:25 4:00 7:00 9:35 BAD NEWS BEARS (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:00 Sat. 11:00 1:30 4:00 MARCH-PENGUINS (G) Fri. 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 9:30 11:30 Sat. 11:30 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 9:30 11:30 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 9:30 MUST LOVE DOGS (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. 1:45 4:45 7:10 9:30 11:40 Sat. 11:15 1:45 4:45 7:10 9:30 11:40 Sun. - Thu. 1:45 4:45 7:10 9:30 SKY HIGH (PG) Fri. 1:55 4:25 7:15 9:40 11:55 Sat. 11:30 1:55 4:25 7:15 9:40 11:55 Sun. - Thu. 1:55 4:25 7:15 9:40 DUKES OF HAZZARD (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. 1:00 1:30 3:25 4:15 5:50 7:00 8:15 9:30 10:40 12:00 Sat. 11:05 1:00 1:30 3:25 4:15 5:50 7:00 8:15 9:30 10:40 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 1:30 3:25 4:15 5:50 7:00 8:15 9:30

I HATE ILLINOIN NAZIS

Answers

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The

soul is born old but grows young. That is the comedy of life.

And the body is born young and grows old.

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a

That is life's tragedy.

pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.

HIT IT. Oscar Wilde • Irish poet and dramatist

Some of the most frightening horror films are so effective

KYLE GORMAN • MUSIC EDITOR

Dean Karres, senior research programmer for the Beckman Institute's Imaging Technology group, moved to Champaign-Urbana several years ago. Dean was long ago drawn in by Irish music, and has considerable experience and talent on two of Irish music's most unique instruments, the bodhran and the uilleann pipes. Unhappy with the lack of Irish music concerts in town, despite many talented musicians and frequent sessions (musical gatherings where any person is welcome to join in) taking place, he decided to book concerts himself. Using the name he had previously given to a newsgroup and Web site he used to disseminate information on these rare instruments, Dean gave birth to the Piper's Hut concert series. The series has been responsible for five shows, some in association with the University's Society of Celtic Cultures, and will continue with a performance by Irish trio Chulrua on Sept. 15th. How did you discover Irish music?

I had listened to a radio show called "The Thistle & Shamrock," which is syndicated on NPR (Natitonal Public Radio) stations around the world. I really liked what I heard, but I never knew anybody that played it, until I was in Colorado Springs in 1993 and heard an advertisement for a particular restaurant that hosted an Irish music session every couple weeks and I arranged to get down there and heard these folks play. I was sitting at my table and quietly playing spoons and one of the people in the session group got up and walked towards me (and I thought he was going to tell me to shut up and go away!) and instead he invited me to come in and play. How'd you pick up the Irish frame drum you play, the bodhran?

The same gentleman that walked toward me and invited me into the session…he put the drum over in my lap and said "see what you can do with this." I entered college initially as a music major and took a year of percussion lessons there, so the concept of percussion isn't new to me, but actually managing that particular kind of drum and style of playing was kind of new; but I've picked it up pretty quick.

DAVID JUST • STAFF WRITER

PHOTOS • DAVID SOLANA

There's a lot of folk lore associated with the bodhran. Apparently there were some gardening or farming implements that were effectively hoops of wood with leather or reed pads on one side of this rim: basically a bucket. So one theory is this bucket theory, that when music was being played and percussion was sought for, that they just upended a bucket and were playing the bottom as a drum. One bit of evidence says that it's just a tambourine but without the bangles. Every culture in the world has a frame drum and a bodhran is nothing but a one-headed frame drum. What's the challenge of playing that instrument?

In Irish music, the challenge for a drummer is knowing that, unlike rock n' roll, externally applied rhythms like drums, guitars, mandolins and banjos that are played rhythmically as opposed to melodically, the rhythm is in a supporting role.

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because they are grounded in reality.When you realize this could really happen, you’re more likely to sleep with a nightlight on. Films like Rosemary’s Baby, The Omen and The Exorcist (to a certain extent) are stories real enough to make you believe. I wouldn’t put The Skeleton Key in that elite tier just yet, but it sure comes close. There’s much more to the South than Kentucky Fried Chicken. It’s a scary place, period. If it isn’t the freaky hillbillies waiting for Yankees in the woods, or some pretty perturbed rednecks, there’s voodoo, or more accurately, hoodoo to worry about. But that stuff can’t hurt you. It’s all superstition. Right? Caroline Ellis (Kate Hudson) certainly doesn’t believe in the aforementioned witchcraft. She’s a hospice worker in New Orleans, earning extra cash to put herself through nursing school.When she sees an ad offering $1000 per week to care for an elderly gentleman, she packs up and takes off faster than you can say “Southern Comfort.” She arrives at a sprawling, dilapidated mansion in the midst of the Louisiana swamps.There, the family lawyer (Peter Sarsgaard) introduces Caroline to Violet (Gena Rowlands) and Ben (John Hurt) Devereaux. Ben has been paralyzed after a recent stroke and Caroline has been instructed to look after him. All seems well, but Caroline has her suspicions. Such as: why aren’t there any mirrors in the house? And more importantly, why does Violet’s skeleton key open every door in the house except that spooky-looking one in the attic? As Caroline tries to uncover these mysteries, she realizes all this hocus-pocus and black magic may have some truth after all.

FOUR BROTHERS

rres a K n a e D

What's the origin of the bodhran?

PAUL PRIKAZSKY • LEAD REVIEWER

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or thirty years Evelyn Mercer (Fionnula Flanagan) was a foster parent. And in those thirty years, there were only four children for whom she could never find a home. They are the Four Brothers: Bobby, Angel, Jeremiah, and Jack (Mark Wahlberg,Tyrese Gibson,Andre Benjamin and Garrett Hedlund) who have grown up on the mean streets of Detroit, staying just straight enough to stay out of prison. The film opens with Evelyn in a convenience store lecturing a child about why shoplifting is wrong and explaining the consequences of one’s actions. Shortly after, two gang members enter the store, take the money, and shoot the clerk.They walk to the back of the store and kill Evelyn. The brothers travel back to Detroit to pay their respects and decide to do something about their mother’s murder. After watching the security video, Bobby exclaims “That wasn’t no gang shooting.That was an execution.” As the fingers start pointing and the bodies begin to pile up, the brothers discover that the killing was an insurance scheme involving dirty business, the Mob, and some dirty cops, too. Directed by John Singleton (Boyz n the Hood), Four Brothers s o u n d s

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Horror movies that rely less on special effects and more on character and story don’t seem to exist anymore. Instead of a cheap slasher flick or something with gratuitous gore, The Skeleton Key comes as a breath of fresh air to a genre that’s been beaten to death over the last half-century. There are only four principal characters. The actors deliver tour de force performances that deepen the level of authenticity within the story. Each brings a necessary ingredient to tell a truly terrifying ghost story, particularly John Hurt.Though his dialogue is limited, Hurt is magnificent as the terrified southerner stricken with paralysis. Watching his choked reactions in the movie is scary as it is, but he could make a romantic comedy frightening. Then there’s Kate Hudson. Not since her remarkable turn as the groupie with a heart of gold in Almost Famous has she delivered a THE SKELETON KEY • KATE HUDSON performance with such warmth and conviction. In The Skeleton Key, she is an intelligent heroine, not the typical our collective subconscious, where it garners the real scares. Sometimes the flashy cinematography and slapdash cutting scantily-clad coed in most horror films (okay, so she may be halfdressed in some scenes, but it works in the context of the film). is reminiscent of an irritating Madonna music video. Though It is Caroline’s curiosity that ultimately propels the story and this was done to meet the demands of attention-challenged audiences, director Iain Softley correctly focused on the mood Hudson seals the deal. After Ehren Kruger wrote garbage like Reindeer Games and of a horror movie set in reality. He allows the southern The Ring, I had my doubts about his ability to tell a fully real- swamps to come alive in their rainy mystique, and black magic ized story with infinite potential. He proved me wrong. artifacts make their way into the foreground, adding another The Skeleton Key unravels like an intricate mystery where all touch of believability. The fact that The Skeleton Key has the right mix of scares, the characters have something to hide.The supernatural flair to the story is an added bonus because it kicks the excitement and compelling story and intense acting is scary in itself.This is a rare intrigue up a notch. Kruger slowly develops the story—careful character-driven piece steeped in something more frightening not to drown it in clichés—and lets the atmosphere creep into than the recycled plots of most horror movies. Reality. UNIVERSAL PICTURES

DEAN KARRES: THE PIPER'S HUT

THE SKELETON KEY

is a crime film with a twist of action and mystery. It might have worked better as a mystery with a twist of action and crime. The plot veers off into far too many directions to remain coherent. The film’s final act includes a twist ending, or two, and plenty of shooting, but in no way follows any logical motivation. The characters jump from Point A to Point C to Point E without detailing their route. The cover up of Evelyn’s slaying as a burglary just seems silly afterwards as shoot-outs, car chases and explosions occur with regularity.Why bother covering it up? This kind of inconsistency plagues the movie from start to finish, and prevents it from being as smart a film as it could have been. But I don’t want this to sound like a completely negative review. On the contrary, the film FOUR BROTHERS • BENJAMIN, HEDLUND, WAHLBERG, GIBSON officer who has known the Mercer brothers since they were chilactually has several things going for it.The action is superb, including a terrific chase scene on a slippery, snow-cov- dren. He, too, gets caught up in the investigation and leaves us ered road and a shoot-out where the Brothers find themselves wondering on whose side he’ll end up. So Four Brothers works as a violent crime drama, but doesn’t holed up in their mom’s house with a half a dozen shooters outside. The action starts early and the film never stops to catch its effectively capture the characters. It would have been nice to see more dealing with the racial context of their relationship. It’s hard breath, and thus, neither do we. The performances are terrific from the four young antiheroes. to give the film too much credit, because the plot is so outraAlso giving an excellent performance is Terrence Howard, fresh geous.Avenging your dear old mother sounds well and good, but off his success in Hustle and Flow and Crash. Howard plays a police I have a feeling she’d be the first one to disapprove.

PARAMOUNT PICTURES

q+a

- The Blues Brothers

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USE THE FORCE LUKE.

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2 4 , 2 OO5

ar tist’s corner

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buzz weekly • 7

YOU EVER NOTICE THAT ALL THE PRICES END IN NINE?

THE PIPER’S HUT C O N T I N U E D F RO M PA G E

it, and I started collecting it, and then every so often I would distribute the information I had back out through the same online resources. So, the Piper's Hut was born as that distribution mechanism.

Nathan Clark

Was this a Web site?

CONSTANCE BEITZEL • ARTS EDITOR

This was a little bit before Web sites. This was a Usenet newsgroup, rec.music.celtic, and that continued until Web sites were kind of ubiquitous, and then I put up a very simple Web site in probably '95 or so. I had, for a number of years, wanted to try my hand at promoting concerts. I have lived in some other places in the US that have very nice local folk music concert societies, and I enjoyed going to those events a whole lot. Coming out here, once I realized there wasn't such a thing; since I liked those shows I wanted to bring them into this community, and put them under the name of Piper's Hut as well.

Nathan was born in Florida and has lived at Clark Air Force Base in the Phillipines, Houston, Texas, and currently lives in Decatur. He attended Wabash College and received a B.A. in Arts. He now fronts his own band, Silver Cloud Lounge, and works as a substitute teacher. He has plans to attend ISR in the fall to pursue a masters in Anthropology. His work is currently showing at Green Street Coffeehouse in Champaign. Nathan will have a oneman show for the month of September at the 510 Consignment Gallery on E. Prarie St. in downtown Decatur. What is your favorite quote?

"Aesthetics is to art as ornithology is to birds." I always try to remember that analysis is not the same thing as creation. The goal of the artist is to become the bird, not the ornithologist.

What's the status of the local Irish music scene?

How do you create this look in your paintings?

“ In Irish music, the challenge for a drummer is knowing that externally applied rhythms like drums, guitars, mandolins and banjos that are played rhythmically as opposed to melodically, the rhythm is in a supporting role.”

I lay an unstretched canvas on the floor. I have a basic composition in mind but allow the details to be filled in by the flow of the paint. My work is primarily concerned with the processes that create forms in the natural world. I see natural forms as arising from a ubiquitous struggle between the chaotic and the controlled. By using the paint as a liquid - acrylic washes poured onto the canvas - there is a great degree of randomness that I must deal with. Negotiating with the paint to achieve a determined composition is my attempt to act out this struggle so prevalent in the world around us.

-Dean Karres

What is your favorite concert that you've booked?

It has to have been Tommy Peoples. He's such a force in this music; he is one of the living legends of Irish fiddle playing and Irish music in general. It was just an amazing evening. What's coming up next in your concert series?

What other mediums do you work with?

Music. I like experimenting with different styles; poppy fusion; jazz and rock. I play guitar and write songs. My current band is called Silver Cloud Lounge. I admire Dylan; he could create catchy song structures and still retain depth in his lyrics.

The drum has been described as the heartbeat of Irish music, and typically if you can ever hear your own heartbeat, you should be on the way to the hospital. You have to know the melodies, you have to be much more than a drummer…rhythms aren't just made out of the air and applied to the melody: rhythms actually come from the melody. What is the Piper's Hut?

The Piper's Hut is an entity that's existed in one shape or another since about 1994 or so. I [also] play a musical instrument that's kind of peculiar to Irish music called the uilleann pipes: it's a kind of bagpipe that is bellows-powered instead of blowing the air by blowing through a pipe with your lungs. When I first started looking for information [about the instrument], the information was out there but scattered. There were actually some people back in '94 online who had information and were willing to share

Who is your favorite musician?

Tom Waits, definitely. He totally submits himself to the writing of a song. He puts himself second and the song first. He also has a totally hip, sideways way of saying things. He's so good at creating a mood where everything in the song follows that mood.

On Sept. 15th, a band that has come through town a number of times called Chulrua. This community knows this band very well. On the very following week, on the 22nd, perhaps my favorite traditional Irish music band, the Brock McGuire Band, will be coming through. buzz More information about the Piper's Hut concert series and Dean's bodhran instruction is available at http://www.pipers-hut.com. Chulrua will appear 8pm Sept. 15th at the Music Building auditorium on the University campus.. Tickets are $15, or $10 for University students, staff, faculty, or senior citizens.

Write for the Buzz!

What inspires you?

Other people and their art. I guess the hope that art can change something about the world or make a mark. I dunno.

Currently there are two Irish music sessions: one at Mike n' Molly's which is the first Sunday of each month, and then every Wednesday at Bentleys. Locals get together and play tunes. There was a Celtic music scene well-established here before I ever got here with a number of very fine players.

Now that the sun is setting earlier and the summer is coming to an end, Buzz is looking for Around Town writers to take a closer look at the events, issues and happenings of the Champaign-Urbana community.

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Writers of all backgrounds, experience and opinions are welcome. If you’re interested, send an email to erins@readbuzz.com, include writing samples if you have them.

“If people walk around the next day still humming one of our melodies, then we’ll consider our job well done.” –Allen Clapp

Love thy

neighbour as yourself,

but choose your neighbourhood.

Louise Beal

Then we saw that the downside of being signed to a label was that these people aren’t only going to put our records out, but they also want a lot of input. I have to draw the line somewhere. I want the people who have input in our music to be musicians, not A & R guys.” Since then, Clapp adds, the band has just sought out singlerecord deals with labels, which “allows us to make the records that we want to make, without anyone else interfering in it….it’s probably more work at the end of the day doing it [that] way…but it’s given us a lot of freedom. We only do what we want to do, not what anyone else wants us to do, so it’s pure art, in that respect; this is exactly what we intended [to] produce, and here it is.” “I think…early on, when I started making music, I wanted to have a lot of input into the parts that people played,” Clapp reflects, adding that as time has passed, he has taken a more hands-off approach to music-making in a group setting. “I think I’ve realized

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Compañia Españia

KRANNERT

•

his fall's line up at Urbana's Krannert Center includes some familiar offerings and some wonderful experiments in new directions. Confirming the latter, from September 29 through October 2, the Krannert presents multiple concerts of the universal instrument: the guitar. It's called Wall to Wall Guitar, and for four days, some thirty artists will demonstrate what the guitar has to offer. On September 17, Krannert will host the world premiere of Mikel Rouse's The End of Cinematics.This is a pop-tinged, hip-hop flavored, Beatles-influenced score which brings together poetry and film images. If that isn't something new, you will never experience something new here. But, be warned, tickets are going fast and you may be on the waiting list.

For anything else, and there is more, and details, check out: KrannertCenter.com. Call (217) 333-6280 or kran-tix@uiuc.edu for tickets. Most concerts are at 7:30 and dance programs generally start at 7 PM.

PHOTO

September and October have two major productions from the University of Illinois Theater Department on the schedule. On weekends from September 29 to October 9, Tom Mitchell will direct Tennessee Williams' Candles to the Sun. If this title does not sound familiar to Tennessee Williams followers, there is a good reason.This early work has not been officially produced since its premiere in St. Louis in 1935. Here is an extraordinary opportunity to see a portion of American theater history come to life. At the end of October, the U. of I. Theater Department will present the musical Nine. This Arthur Kopit/ Muary Yeston musical adaptation of Fellini's semi-autobiographical film, 8 1/2, is a challenging, sensual tour-de-force. From October 20 to October 30 on weekends, you can experience our own university production forces scale this musical Mt. Everest. Musically, the opening months have a great deal more than Wall to Wall Guitar, with the Sinfonia da Camera (September 11 at 3 PM) and the CU Symphony (September 29 at 7:30 PM) giving their season-opening concerts. If you like your symphony orchestras big-time and professional, the Munich Symphony Orchestra, led by Philippe Entremont, plays on October 28. Mr. Entremont will also supply a piano solo for Mozart's 21st piano concerto. Speaking of soloists, one the greatest soloists of our time, mezzo-soprano Cecilia Bartoli, will be here on October 14 with the Zurich Orchestra of La Scintilla. Legendary pianist, Byron Janis will grace the Great Hall on October 6, and violist Antoine Tamestit will perform on October 9. If you like your musical ensembles a bit more compact, the Emerson and Pacifica String Quartets will be here on October 21 with a program that will include Mendelssohn's Octet. Ethel is the cutting-edge string quartet for the 21st century, and they will be here for three concerts on October 21 and 22.

Micheal Cooper

Featured author:Gabriel Garcia Marquez CONSTANCE BEITZEL

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that when you have people, and they have good ideas, you’re going to make a better record if everyone can share their ideas. So I’ve become more inclusive of people’s ideas— especially on this record—than I have been. I’ll come up with the core song sometimes: a melody and a chord progression, lyrics, that kind of thing, but then everyone fills in the cracks, and everyone’s personality comes through.” Being the primary songwriter for the group, Clapp provides some insight into the way he works: “More often than not, [musical ideas] just sort of arrive. I’ll be doing stuff like mowing the lawn or washing the dishes, some brainless activity, and boom! Suddenly there’s a melody going and maybe some lyrics accompanying it, even, and it’s just there, when a couple of seconds before, it wasn’t. And then you get into the process where you have to complete those things, those little bits and pieces that arrive on their own, and I guess that’s more arrangement that you’re doing later on….maybe the writing is what you do when you fill in the blanks of a song….the melody suggests lyrical ideas a lot of the time, and sometimes these little things that arrive on their own are both melody and lyrics, [and] a lot of times, they just kind of dictate which direction they’re going to be going at the outset,” Clapp comments,“some take more work than others.” “Circling the Sun”“started off as…a little lullaby that I would play on piano, and ended up being…a Cars-esque sort of 80s pop song. So that one went through a major transformation, and it started off as just a musical idea with no lyrics, and the lyrics gradually got filled in over the course of a year.” After their second album came out, “[the band] decided that it was better to just have fun playing live and not worry so much about it sounding just like the record, because it’s never going to sound just like [that] anyway, unless you bring a bunch of computers along, or twenty people…. it’s going to sound different live, but there’s going to be a lot more energy live, and it’s probably going to rock a little bit more, because we’re a rock band. It’s not going to sound as pretty, maybe, as it does on the record, but there’s going to be a different kind of energy there.” As far as future plans go, Clapp is interested mainly in the present. “Since it takes us so long to get these things [to promote an album] together and to release them, we want to give [our current album] a fair shot.” The Orange Peels plan to give Circling the Sun fair airtime, but to follow up on this one sooner than their current pace of four years between albums. “We definitely don’t want it to be four years before our next record comes out,” says Clapp. “We’re already writing for another record right now. We’re aware that it’s taken us four years to put out every record so far, and we don’t want to be repeating that; we want to keep the momentum going….I think that there’s a lot of really mediocre music out there right now that masquerades as important…and it’s just really boring. And [the Orange Peels] are not boring. We’re melodic and we want to be your new favorite band.” The Orange Peels will be playing at the Canopy Club in Urbana on Wednesday, August 24th with a $5 cover. Openers include Bailey and two local acts, Darling Disarm and the Elanors. buzz

• CONTRIBUTING WRITER

KRANNERT

think that the landscape around where we live—and I’ve lived here my whole life—around the San Francisco Bay area is such a great natural [setting]. Surreal, really. There are these beautiful coastal mountains, and every night the fog comes in over them with the sunset behind it. There’s the ocean on one side, the bay on the other side; there’s San Francisco 45 minutes one way, and there’re redwood forests 45 minutes the other way. It’s just such a strange place, that it’s quite inspiring,”Allen Clapp, frontman, multi-instrumentalist, and bandleader of the Orange Peels, lovingly muses about his native California. Especially on the band’s latest album, Circling the Sun, Clapp feels that “the natural landscape has been a huge influence. I’m not sure how you go about capturing something like a natural landscape in terms of music, but we tried. We tried to make it feel as spacious and lush as the landscape does around here, and maybe that’s [a] reason…why this album has a certain sound to it, a sort of conscious effort to capture that somehow musically.” The Orange Peels’ music is as spacious as the richly verdant climate in which it was created. The sunny Californian pop presented on the band’s third album is warm, with catchy melodies and shimmering string parts that interlock, stretching the ear, but never past the comfort zone. Clapp explains that the Orange Peels have had a different lineup on each album they’ve put out, and that, like their surrounding environment, the current lineup has something to do with the sound that was produced on the current album. “Right before we recorded this album,” Clapp notes, “version two of the Orange Peels came to an abrupt halt, and then we made this record with Orange Peels version three, which had just come together almost by accident. And so I think right around that time, it was this new experience playing together…and we had never really recorded anything with these people before, so we just decided [to] experiment around with some sounds that we hadn’t really used before… and everything just started sounding huge on its own.” “I think that our sound evolves on every record,” Clapp continues, “and it’s partially due to the fact that the band breaks up and goes through this big emotional upheaval every time we’re about to put out a new record. It’s not like I would choose to have that happen every time, but it just does.” Despite certain changes in the lineup, Clapp and bassist Jill Pries are constant fixtures within the group, providing some continuity between incarnations of the group. “Jill and I are always in the band, no matter who else is coming and going,” Clapp notes, “so our sensibilities are still there.” Not only has the band undergone extensive personnel changes between each album, but they have also released each of them on a separate label (most recently Urbana’s Parasol Records). “We were signed to [our first label]…for three records initially, and we thought that that was going to be a good thing…but we just weren’t seeing eye-to-eye with the label, and they didn’t like the direction our second record was going…and we loved [our new direction].

JEFF NELSON

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THE ORANGE PEELS

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SUSAN SCHOMBURG • STAFF WRITER

FALL: IN LOVE WITH KRANNERT

PHOTO

AN INTERVIEW WITH ALLEN CLAPP OF

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ARTS EDITOR

abriel Garcia Marquez is widely considered the greatest living author, having been awarded both the Nobel Prize for literature and the French Legion of Honor for his talent and political activism. He has been a playwright, journalist, publisher and novelist over the years. He also spent the bulk of his career in exile from Colombia, where he was born in 1928, because of ‘La Violencia.’ La Violencia was the ongoing bloody struggle between the Liberals and the Conservatives throughout Columbia. Garcia uses La Violencia as a backdrop for many of his novels, including his famous One Hundred Years of Solitude and Love In the Time of Cholera. Articles he published as a journalist supporting the liberal cause made him a fugitive. He counts Fidel Castro among his friends and is a biting critic of the American embargo of Cuba. All this, and I was still introduced to his work through John Cusack in High Fidelity. He alluded to Love in the Time of Cholera as being,“about girls, right?” While it is a love story, it is far too complex to be humorously reduced to simplicity. Love in the Time of Cholera is an enigma on Garcia’s

part. He almost wholly avoids the magic realism for which he is famous. Instead he creates a story with no magical elements that is almost as magically unbelievable as The Old Man with Enormous Wings. It is about a young forbidden love between Fermina Daza and Florentino Ariza. He is a hopelessly romantic youth. His lovesickness is, in fact, mistaken for cholera by his mother. This forbidden love is eventually turned into unrequited love as Fermina grows out of it and rejects him after years of secret letters and serenades. She marries a wealthy and influential doctor instead. Florentino continues to live, unmarried, waiting for an opportunity for them to be together again. Instead of heartbreak he turns to hope. The novel weaves across seventy years of their separate lives until she is widowed. Their love is only fulfilled in their extreme old age. Garcia manages to create a very compelling love story in which nothing happens between the protagonists for fifty years. Yet it is not a slow read, nor boring in any way. I, and apparently John Cusack, completely recommend this read. When you finish it, start in on One Hundred Years of Solitude; you’ll want to!

ALWAYS FORGIVE YOUR ENEMIES, NOTHING ANNOYS THEM AS MUCH.

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art picks

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sound ground #89

Backstage Pass

Elton John 1980 at Big Mac in Denver

Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free

WEDNESDAY Aug. 24 Live Music Apollo Poetics Nargile, 10pm, free Chambana Jackson’s Ribs-n-Tips, 8-10pm Ed O'Hare and Friends Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Blues Night: Kilborn Alley Tommy G's, 10pm, free Chambana Jackson's Ribs-n-Tips, 8-10pm Boneyard Jazz Quintet Iron Post, 5-7pm, TBA Jake Hertzog Trio with Chip McNeill Iron Post, 8pm, TBA Urbana Booking Co. Showcase: The Orangle Peels, The Elanors, Darling Disarm, Bailey Canopy Club, 9pm, $5

–Erin Scottberg

Marie Mamaril

Pages For All Ages is currently showcasing a unique combination of art and poetry by artist Marie Mamaril. The paintings are either watercolor or acrylic on canvas. Mamaril hopes that her artwork will help viewers retreat from a hectic world and see the beauty in nature and everyday life. Each work is accompanied by a poem to enhance the overall viewing experience. Pages For All Ages is located at 1201 Savoy Plaza in Savoy. Mamaril’s artwork will be featured through September 14. --Todd Swiss

MONDAY Aug. 22 Live Music Love & Joy [comedy and live R&B] Canopy Club, 10pm, $3 Motown Mondays: As Is Nargile, 7pm, $5 Jazz Jam with ParaDocs Iron Post, 8-11pm, TBA Chris and Jim [cover band] White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Finga Lickin' The Office, 10:30pm, free Quad Remedy [classic rock] Tommy G’s, 10pm, free D. Biddle, Mistakes, The Chemicals Opensource Art, 8pm, $3 suggested donation Open Mic Night hosted by Brandon T. Washington Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free

Art&T heater

Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free

See the stars at Cinema Gallery’s new show, Backstage Pass , featuring photographer Paul Idleman’s limited edition entertainment photos taken in Colorado between 1978 and 2000. Some of the biggest names in the biz are represented: Elton John, Bruce Springsteen, Huey Lewis, Sam Kinison, John Hartford and Jay Leno. The show opens with a reception for the artist on August 20, from 6-8p.m. and will be on display August 20 September 24, 10am-4pm, TuesdaySaturday.

DJ Chef Ra [roots, reggae] Barfly, 10pm, free Contact: DJ Raphael Kroshay, TBA [drum n bass] Nargile, 9pm, $5 DJ Limbs, [hip-hop, breaks and party jams] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

Subversion: DJ ZoZo, DJ Evily, DJ TwinScin [goth/industrial/electro] The Highdive, 10pm, $2 Tremblin BG Barfly, 10pm, free DJ JB [hip hop music videos] Nargile, 9pm, free Bang!: DJ Impact [house and other sounds] Nargile, 10pm, TBA DJ J-Phlip [house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

Kids Babies’ Lap Time Moonlight Edition [songs, stories and rhymes for the youngest patrons, birth24 mo., with an adult] Urbana Free Library, 6:30-7pm, free

Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign, 8pm, $7-$9

DJ DJ Delayney [hip hop/soul] Barfly, 10pm, free Mixtape Mondays: DJ Elise, TBA [house] Boltini, 10pm, free

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Annual Parkland Art and Design Faculty Exhibition Parkland Art Gallery August 22-September 22, 2005, Parkland Art Gallery Opening reception, August 25, 6-8pm, Gallery Lounge Possibilities [works by U of I Alum and local artist Sandra Ahten] Illini Union Art Gallery starting August 19 Artist reception September 1, 5:30-7:30pm

Living Language: Painting and Poetry Unite by Marie Mamaril [watercolor and acrylic on canvas] Pages for All Ages through September 14

Art With Intention Open Studio [Individually directed drop-in studio time allowing adults to explore their creative voices. Instructed by Sandra Ahten] Thursdays, 4-9pm. Visit www.spiritofsandra.com for details and location. Aroma Cafe is looking for artists to exhibit their work. If you are interested in exhibiting your art, please contact Amanda Bickel, art coordinator at Aroma Cafe at art4aroma@yahoo.com.

value • pool tables • separate non-smoking section •

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infusions • outdoor seating • peanuts • staff • wine menu

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Shoeshine Records of Glasgow to Snapper Music of London, which will release Yard Sale, a composite of Yr Money or Yr Life and Crisis Helpline.The first single, due August 29, is “Paper Hearts for Josie” (working title: “Taco”), with B-sides “Gouge Away” and “Lazy Summer”; the second single is “A Desperate Cry for Help” (working title: “Slide”). The Beauty Shop plays Sunday at Cowboy Monkey with Jenny Choi keyboard-and-drums duo Sanawon. Show time is 10 p.m., and cover is $4. An update on Cameron McGill and his band: Street Ballads & Murderesques is done and due for release January 2006. Prominent on the album is keyboardist Tim Requarth, who left the band the first week of May to go back to school. Meanwhile, bassist Jason Brammer is also a painter and has exhibits this month in Chicago at Metropolis Coffee and Open Door Gallery. Saturday, Solips returns to The Canopy Club from Austin-San Marcos (Texas) for one night only. Founded by brothers Luke and Wilson Hensleigh in 1999, Solips was a fixture of the Champaign scene for five years. New to the lineup are bassist Chris Borchers and drummer Jeff Bedair. Also on the bill are Solips affiliate The Respondent, Slow Dazzle, and wunderkind Megan Johns. Show time is 9 p.m., and cover is $5.As though that were not enough for one night, Mike ‘n Molly’s hosts a simultaneous spectacular with Angie Heaton, Joni Laurence, Baez!, and Theory of Everything. Show time is 10 p.m., and cover is $4. Saturday is a horrible night to sit at home. Todd J. Hunter hosts WEFT Sessions and Champaign Local 901, two hours of live local music every Monday night at 10 p.m. on 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com.

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Sangamon River Arts Festival [Artists from as far away as Missouri will be included in this year’s 25 artists and craftsmen] Main Street, Mahomet on Saturday August 20, 10am-7pm and Sunday, August 21, 11am-4pm Children's Art Booth Saturday 10am-4pm and Sunday 12-4pm

Study of Primary, Secondary and Tertiary [abstract works by Sven] Cafe Kopi through August 31

be Ri

DJ DJ Reaganomics [80’s requests] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free

schedule, but the release date for the Fall 2005 Mad Science Fair debut is now: tomorrow. The release show remains September 22 with Cameron McGill and Darling Disarm, but the album will be available at Parasol on arrival, anticipated tomorrow. Comprised of ten power-pop songs recorded and mixed by Adam Schmitt, … for a better tomorrow will be on Mud, with an initial pressing of 2500.The release show is the first of a tour through Michigan, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York, Tennessee, and Ohio. In the meantime, Mad Science Fair performs August 27 at Mike ‘n Molly’s with The Pomonas and Rob McColley. Show time is 10 p.m., and cover is $4. Mad Science Fair is guitarist-vocalist Mike Clayton, bassist Jim Mefford, and drummer Dave Domal. One week after that release show, along comes another by The Living Blue.Third record Fire, Blood,Water is due for release October 8 on Minty Fresh but first becomes available September 29 at The Highdive with The M’s and The Chemicals. Show time is 8 p.m., and cover is $7. Next month,The Living Blue will shoot a video in Chicago with Bradley Scott of Melodic Pictures for lead single “Murderous Youth”; hear the song and see the record cover at myspace.com/thelivingblue. In addition, two tracks from second record Living in Blue (“Where It Begins” and “Open Casket Access”) appear in the Lions Gate comedy Waiting, in theaters October 7. Earlier this month,The Beauty Shop played five shows in Musselburgh and Glasgow (Scotland) and London (England), including one with Echo & The Bunnymen and Fun Lovin’ Criminals. The trio has been licensed from

Study of Landscapes and Study of Verbs [abstract paintings by Sven] Aroma Cafe through August 31

TUESDAY Aug. 23 Live Music Bluegrass Jam Verde Gallery, 7-9:30pm, free Open Jam/Open Mic hosted by Brandon T. Washington Canopy Club, 9pm, 21+/free, $2/under 21 The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Adam Wolfe's Acoustic Night with Jess Greenlee Tommy G's, 10pm, free Open Stage Espresso Royale Goodwin & Oregon, 8pm, free Larry Gates [acoustic] The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free

Rare is the album that comes out ahead of

All in the Family [photos by husband and wife photography team Cindy and Kirby Pringle. Also on display: works from Leo Frucza and Work by Leo Frucza and Robert K. O'Daniell] Prairie Boatworks Gallery through August 21

Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, free Salsa Dancing [salsa/mambo/bachata] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free

Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Neil St. Pub, 8pm-12am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's , 9pm-1am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke and DJ Track's, 9pm-1am

TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

Backstage Pass [a series of limited edition entertainment photos taken by Paul Idleman in Colorado between 1978 and 2000. Some of the biggest names in the biz are represented: Elton John, Bruce Springsteen, Huey Lewis, Sam Kinison, John Hartford, Jay Leno, etc.] Cinema Gallery August 20-September 24 Opening reception August 20, 6-8pm

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti's, 10pm-2am, free Outlaw Karaoke The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free The Cheezy Trio [live band karaoke] Tommy G's, 10pm, free

music

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Jefferson Airplane The Essential Jefferson Airplane

David King Duke of Uke

RCA/Legacy BY KYLE GORMAN

[Independent] BY KYLE GORMAN

It's easy to forget how different the bands that made up

Careful readers of Buzz know Dave King as the author

the San Francisco zeitgeist of the mid-'60s were. Jorma Kaukonen may have deserved to stand on stage with Garcia and Santana, but he never was the spiritual center of the Airplane...that role belonged to a former model, whom history remembers as Grace Slick. So what ties the bands together, other than youthful radicalism? I'd propose that all the San Fran bands had one thing in common: they were as much about what they listened to as what they played. Record-collection-ism, if I might coin an expression, is alive and well today in the likes of Yo La Tengo and any DJ. Into this mix comes the long-running “The Essential” series, a most-obvious series of greatest hits. Our compilation producer’s (Bob Irwin) use of two discs ensures nothing critical has been left off, and the sequencing is decent, albeit front-loaded, likely a status of the near-chronological organization of the discs. Conveniently, the track list features the song's top chart placement, including “Somebody to Love”'s #5 on the pop charts. The strangest choice is a pretty but misinformed take on Stephen Still's “Wooden Ships”, which takes the folk song to unreasonable heights. Long after the Matrix, the Fillmore and Winterland were abandoned or razed, these songs may not matter as much as the band itself did, a shame considering their mastery of Carrolian deviance in a world that prefers Shellian horror. It's equally difficult to imagine the market for this record; while it'd suit a house party, those who are truly interested probably already own Surrealistic Pillow.

of comic Bob’n’Dave, but on his first record, he assumes his alter-ego as the Duke of Uke. The comic artist, a largerthan-life character rarely seen without his ukelele, plays to the strengths of his instrument, focusing on tropical jams and love songs (sometimes both). His vocals are appropriately airy and psychedelic. The slow “Be My Love” is a gentle intro, and “Guru” is an amusing and original love song. He finds the funkiest sound his instrument allows, while producer and accompanist Jeremy Bobbitt provides beachy percussion, bass, and the occasional more-exotic sound. Closer “She’s the Bomb” has the highest production value (to the point of being over-the-top), with record scratches and even a countdown to an explosion. “Aquanaut” sounds like the lost soundtrack to a silent comedy short, and “Graves” is as poignant as the title suggests. Duke of Uke is available at That’s Rentertainment! and the Caffe Paradiso.

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DON’T GO OUT TONIGHT, IT’S BOUND TO TAKE YOUR LIFE, THERE’S A BATHROOM ON THE RIGHT.

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THE HURLYBURLY Celebrated heavy metal group Judas Priest will tour this fall to promote their 2005 release on Epic Records, Angel of Retribution. This album marks a comeback after 15 years of Judas Priest silence. The band will perform with openers Anthrax at Assembly Hall on Tuesday, September 27 at 7:30 PM. Look for tickets on sale at noon on Sunday, August 27. Folk singer Devendra Banhart has been busy these days. Shortly after releasing a new album, British music news source Drowned in Sound reported that Banhart would launch his own record label this fall with an old friend, Andy Cabic. The first release for the record label will be Texan singer Jana Hunter’s ‘Blank Unstaring Heirs of Doom.’ Nothing like doom and heirs to sell records, eh, Banhart? DEVENDRA BANHART

COURTESY OF THESUITCASE.ORG

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w H at tH e He L L? MOMENT OF THE WEEK More Michael Jackson on the music news frontier: two of the fourteen jurors for Jackson’s infamous child molestation trial have “changed their minds.” Jackson’s lawyer has declared the comments made by the two jurors “embarrassing and outrageous. These people voted not guilty 14 times. ... Now, nearly two months after being discharged, they’re changing their tune. I think it’s laughable.”

c h a r t s PARASOL RECORDS TOP 10 SELLERS 1. Gonzalez, Jose Veneer (A Hidden Agenda Record) 2. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah S/T (Self-Released) 3. Acid House Kings Sing Along With Acid House Kings (Twenty Seven) 4. Holm, Øyvind The Vanishing Act (Camera Obscura) 5. Stevens, Sufjan Illinois (Asthmatic Kitty) 6. Dungen Ta Det Lungt (Kemado) 7. Orchids Lyceum + Singles (LTM) 8. Orange Peels, The Circling The Sun (Parasol) 9. Moonbabies War On Sound (A Hidden Agenda Record) 10. Life and Times, The Suburban Hymns (DeSoto)

void. Ripe, graphic fruits fall off. My hand has become the obedient instrument of a remote will. Paul Klee • abstract painter

buzz picks

The Noisy Gators

Saturday, August 20 Alto Vineyards, 7:30 - 10:30pm, $3

This Saturday may be your last chance to catch local zydeco band The Noisy Gators. After this show at the Alto Vineyards, the band is planning on taking an extended break until a possible re-grouping later in the year. Playing with the Gators will be friend and fiddler Dennis Stroughmatt (of Creole Stomp), who recently spent time studying the instrument in Louisiana. Bassist Rob Krumm says “Dennis’ fiddle playing is firmly based in the historical roots of Cajun & Creole music. His fiddling just sets a spark under everyone - dancers and musicians alike. This gig should be a tremendous good time.” –Erin Scottberg

Solips + The Respondent + Slow Dazzle + = Megan Johns

THURSDAY Aug 18 Live Music Shovelrack White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, free Hippus Campus Iron Post, 6-8pm, TBA Larry Gates, Elsinore Aroma, 8pm, free Kilborn Alley Blues Band Joe’s Brewery, 8-11pm, free DJ Generic DJ Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8pm, TBA DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, electro] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Limbs [hip-hop, breaks and party jams] Boltini, 10:30pm, free Solace: DJ Mertz [deep house] Soma, 10pm, free Ladies Night featuring Luis Vasquez, DJ Res Tuly, DJ Black Ice [hip hop, dance, reggae, reggaeton, salsa] Nargile, 9pm, Ladies free before $9, Men $5 DJ Stiffler [80's hair metal] Tommy G's, 9pm, free DJ PBR [rock/electronica] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Pia's of Rantoul, 9pm-1am, free

Saturday, August 20 Canopy Club, 9pm, $5

Returning to their hometown since their depature to Austin, Texas a year ago, Solips once again grace a stage in Champaign-Urbana. Founded by brothers Luke and Wilson Hensleigh, they define their music as guitar-driven, melodic, introspective, indie powerjangle, schizophrenic intellirock. The Respondent, formerly known as The Frame, will be joining Solips at the Canopy Club. This three-piece lists influences ranging from At the Drive In to Radiohead to Soundgarden and their music has been described as distortosurf/powerpop. Slow Dazzle from New York features members of the group Mendoza Line and delivers music that has a Americana center encased in a wrapping of psychedelic, atmospheric electronics and synths. Megan Johns is Champaign-Urbana’s newest (and probably youngest) singer/songwriter/indie folk musician. She recently released her first full-length album entitled Dirty Shoes.

Dancing UIUC Swing Society McKinley Foundation 9:30pm-12am, free Health and Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign, 8pm, $7-$9 Belly Dance for Fitness Gold’s Gym, Champaign, 7:30pm, $7$9 Group Meditation Ananda Liina, 2308 N. High Cross Rd. Urbana, 5:30pm, free Wine Tasting Krannert Uncorked Krannert Art Center Lobby 5pm, free

Kids Funfare [stories, songs, puppets, and films for children and their caregivers] Urbana Free Library, 10:30-11am, free

FRIDAY Aug 19 Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1

Eclectic Theory The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Jazz in the Beergarden: Bruiser and the Virtues Mike n' Molly's, 5-7pm, $3 Jeff Helgesen Iron Post, 5-7PM, TBA Andrew Duncanson [of Kilborn Alley] Tommy G's, 5-7pm, free Holly Holmes Trio [jazz] Cowboy Monkey, 5:30pm, free Big Bang Theory [classic covers] Fat City Saloon, 8pm, TBA Trike, Time Bomb Youth, CRACKhead (aka Agents of Change), Alleyway Sex, Duckman, Carbomb Lottery [punk, hip hop, ska] Red Herring, 8pm, $5 The Sleepers Iron Post, 9pm, TBA The Delta Kings [rock] Cowboy Monkey, 9:30pm, $4 Renegade [coutry & southern rock covers] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover Rod Mac, The Few, Krukid [live hip hop] Nargile, TBA, $5 BrotherDannn`s Birthday Bash featuring: Battery [Metallica tribute band] Jaded Kayne and Downpour Canopy Club, 9pm, $5 Jimmy Rowland [folk] Russell Park, Mahomet, 4-5:30pm, TBA

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am, TBA Karaoke American Legion, 8pm-1am, TBA

Theater The Zoo Theatre Improvisational Troop Sagamon River Festival, Main St. Mahomet, 3pm, TBA

Theater The Marriage of Figaro Smith Hall, 7:30pm

DJ Night of Elegance: DJ Asiatic, DJ Dice [R&B, hip hop] Nargile, 10pm DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm, TBA DJ Night Paulie's, 9pm, free DJ Resonate [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Elise Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ White Horse Inn, 10pm, free "G" Force DJ The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover

SATURDAY Aug. 20 Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Regulators Bike Run: Adam Wolfe Tommy G's, 6pm, cover Music Among the Vines: The Noisy Gators [cajun] Alto Vineyards, 7:30pm, $3 Harlem Gospel Choir Virginia Theatre, 7:30pm, $22 adults, $19 students Billy Galt Pages For All Ages, 8pm, free Urbana Booking Co. presents: Solips, The Respondent, Slow Dazzle, Megan Johns Canopy Club, 9pm, $5 Matal Masquerade: 7 Year Existence, Fourtold Doom, TBA The Phoenix, 9pm, free Angie Heaton, Joni Laurence, Baez, Theory of Everything Mike n' Molly's beergarden, 10pm, $4 Quadremedy Iron Post, 10pm, $3 Regulators Bike Run: Autumn Zero Tommy G's, 10pm, cover Jimmy Rowland [folk] Russell Park, Mahomet, 1:30-3:30pm, TBA

DJ DJ Elise [old soul, jazz and deep house] Boltini, 6-10pm, free DJ J-Phlip [house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm-2am, TBA DJ Bonsu, DJ Impact [hip hop, Chicago deep house] Nargile, 9pm, free before 11pm, $5 after DJ Delayney [hip hop, soul] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10:30pm, $5 Circuit Pulse: DJ Randall Ellison [HiNRG, disco house, hard house, Eurodance] Chester Street, 10pm, cover Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free

Dancing Swing/Nightclub Dancing Sidebar, 8pm, $4 Salsa Dancing with DJ Bris Mueller Sidebar, 10:30PM, $5 Belly Dancing [lesson and performance] Verde Gallery, 7pm, $5 Tango Dance [lesson and dance] Phillips Recreation Center, lesson at 8pm, dance at 9:30, $5-$7 Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's, 9pm-1am, free

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Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages, 11am, free Theater The Marriage of Figaro Smith Hall, 3pm Lectures, Meetings, Workshops The Boneyard Creek Cloggers Clogging Workshop Sagamon River Festival, Mahomet, 4:30-4:45pm Film The Silver Cord [The film will cover ten time periods of our existence through ten different people in ten different countries] School of Metaphysics, 7:30pm

SUNDAY Aug. 21 Live Music The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Liquid Courage Open Mic Night Geovanti's, 8pm-12am, free Bill Abel Iron Post, 9pm, TBA The Beauty Shop, Sanawon [rock] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 DJ DJ Wesjile [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Black Ice [hip hop] Nargile, 8pm, TBA Jon Meske [house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free Mike Rocks [rock videos, local music] Tommy G's, 9:30pm, free

S P E C IA L U IU C ! PRESALE

GET ACTIVE< <<< < <!

kaiser chiefs

october 4th assembly hall

UIUC STUDENT PRESALE NEXT FRIDAY, AUG. 26 FROM 10AM TO 5PM AT ILLINI UNION (CASH ONLY) $2 STUDENT DISCOUNT PUBLIC SALE SATURDAY, AUG. 27 AT 10AM

YMCA University of Illinois YMCA – Are you a community-minded person with a passion for garage sales? Twenty volunteers are needed to help sort and pack items for the University of Illinois’s YMCA’s Annual Garage Sale held at the U of I Stock Pavilion. Volunteers are needed Monday through Friday from 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. For your safety, we require you to wear closetoed shoes. If you’re ready to get sorting, call Rebecca Guyette at 337-1514 or email her at becca@universityymca.org to sign up!

Everything vanishes around me, and works are born as if out of the

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for more information visit uofiassemblyhall.com Tickets at the Assembly Hall Box Office & all Ticketmaster Outlets Charge-by-phone: 217-333-5000 or order online at www.ticketmaster.com

void. Ripe, graphic fruits fall off. My hand has become the obedient instrument of a remote will. Paul Klee • abstract painter

buzz picks

The Noisy Gators

Saturday, August 20 Alto Vineyards, 7:30 - 10:30pm, $3

Solips + The Respondent + Slow Dazzle + = Megan Johns

Saturday, August 20 Canopy Club, 9pm, $5

Kids Funfare [stories, songs, puppets, and films for children and their caregivers] Urbana Free Library, 10:30-11am, free

FRIDAY Aug 19 Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am, TBA Karaoke American Legion, 8pm-1am, TBA

Theater The Zoo Theatre Improvisational Troop Sagamon River Festival, Main St. Mahomet, 3pm, TBA

Theater The Marriage of Figaro Smith Hall, 7:30pm

! > > >> > >

•

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S P E C IA L U IU C ! PRESALE

GET ACTIVE< <<< < <!

kaiser chiefs

october 4th assembly hall

UIUC STUDENT PRESALE NEXT FRIDAY, AUG. 26 FROM 10AM TO 5PM AT ILLINI UNION (CASH ONLY) $2 STUDENT DISCOUNT PUBLIC SALE SATURDAY, AUG. 27 AT 10AM

Everything vanishes around me, and works are born as if out of the

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t h e

s c e n e •

for more information visit uofiassemblyhall.com Tickets at the Assembly Hall Box Office & all Ticketmaster Outlets Charge-by-phone: 217-333-5000 or order online at www.ticketmaster.com

ALWAYS FORGIVE YOUR ENEMIES, NOTHING ANNOYS THEM AS MUCH.

AU G . 18

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art picks

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sound ground #89

Backstage Pass

Elton John 1980 at Big Mac in Denver

Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free

–Erin Scottberg

Marie Mamaril

Art&T heater

Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free

DJ Chef Ra [roots, reggae] Barfly, 10pm, free Contact: DJ Raphael Kroshay, TBA [drum n bass] Nargile, 9pm, $5 DJ Limbs, [hip-hop, breaks and party jams] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

Kids Babies’ Lap Time Moonlight Edition [songs, stories and rhymes for the youngest patrons, birth24 mo., with an adult] Urbana Free Library, 6:30-7pm, free

Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign, 8pm, $7-$9

DJ DJ Delayney [hip hop/soul] Barfly, 10pm, free Mixtape Mondays: DJ Elise, TBA [house] Boltini, 10pm, free

- 21 For Drinks -

$6 2 teak 5 –

Ste

217-398-5858 University at Walnut

eye

Rib

1 3

ch $6 25 a1k San – dw 3 lb ich Ribeye Stea k Sandwich 25 1

–

• sandwich menu • pizza •

h dwic ch San wi teak ye S – 1 3 lb nd Ribe 6 $ Sa k ea 1 lb St 25 – 3

Living Language: Painting and Poetry Unite by Marie Mamaril [watercolor and acrylic on canvas] Pages for All Ages through September 14

value • pool tables • separate non-smoking section •

martini and cocktail menu •

infusions • outdoor seating • peanuts • staff • wine menu

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this week in music

#89

Study of Primary, Secondary and Tertiary [abstract works by Sven] Cafe Kopi through August 31

be Ri

DJ DJ Reaganomics [80’s requests] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free

Study of Landscapes and Study of Verbs [abstract paintings by Sven] Aroma Cafe through August 31

Rare is the album that comes out ahead of

Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, free Salsa Dancing [salsa/mambo/bachata] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free

Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Neil St. Pub, 8pm-12am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's , 9pm-1am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke and DJ Track's, 9pm-1am

TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti's, 10pm-2am, free Outlaw Karaoke The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free The Cheezy Trio [live band karaoke] Tommy G's, 10pm, free

music

s c e n e

Jefferson Airplane The Essential Jefferson Airplane

David King Duke of Uke

RCA/Legacy BY KYLE GORMAN

[Independent] BY KYLE GORMAN

It's easy to forget how different the bands that made up

Careful readers of Buzz know Dave King as the author

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DON’T GO OUT TONIGHT, IT’S BOUND TO TAKE YOUR LIFE, THERE’S A BATHROOM ON THE RIGHT.

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COURTESY OF THESUITCASE.ORG

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“If people walk around the next day still humming one of our melodies, then we’ll consider our job well done.” –Allen Clapp

Love thy

neighbour as yourself,

but choose your neighbourhood.

Louise Beal

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Compañia Españia

KRANNERT

•

PHOTO

Micheal Cooper

Featured author:Gabriel Garcia Marquez CONSTANCE BEITZEL

NOBELPRIZE.ORG

• CONTRIBUTING WRITER

KRANNERT

JEFF NELSON

•

I “

THE ORANGE PEELS

PHOTO • OED RONNE

SUSAN SCHOMBURG • STAFF WRITER

FALL: IN LOVE WITH KRANNERT

PHOTO

AN INTERVIEW WITH ALLEN CLAPP OF

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ARTS EDITOR

14 • b u z z w e e k l y

USE THE FORCE LUKE.

AU G . 18

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ar tist’s corner

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buzz weekly • 7

YOU EVER NOTICE THAT ALL THE PRICES END IN NINE?

THE PIPER’S HUT C O N T I N U E D F RO M PA G E

Nathan Clark

Was this a Web site?

CONSTANCE BEITZEL • ARTS EDITOR

"Aesthetics is to art as ornithology is to birds." I always try to remember that analysis is not the same thing as creation. The goal of the artist is to become the bird, not the ornithologist.

What's the status of the local Irish music scene?

How do you create this look in your paintings?

-Dean Karres

What is your favorite concert that you've booked?

What other mediums do you work with?

Who is your favorite musician?

Write for the Buzz!

What inspires you?

Other people and their art. I guess the hope that art can change something about the world or make a mark. I dunno.

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Writers of all backgrounds, experience and opinions are welcome. If you’re interested, send an email to erins@readbuzz.com, include writing samples if you have them.

The

soul is born old but grows young. That is the comedy of life.

And the body is born young and grows old.

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a

That is life's tragedy.

pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.

HIT IT. Oscar Wilde • Irish poet and dramatist

Some of the most frightening horror films are so effective

KYLE GORMAN • MUSIC EDITOR

DAVID JUST • STAFF WRITER

PHOTOS • DAVID SOLANA

C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

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FOUR BROTHERS

rres a K n a e D

What's the origin of the bodhran?

PAUL PRIKAZSKY • LEAD REVIEWER

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DEAN KARRES: THE PIPER'S HUT

THE SKELETON KEY

PARAMOUNT PICTURES

q+a

- The Blues Brothers

"Go to Carmike.com & register for your chance to win a Jeremy McGrath Autographed Honda CRF250R Motorcycle worth over $7000."

ANDREW CREWELL â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo was a bit unex-

â&#x20AC;˘

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!,, $)')4!, 34%2%/ ./ 0!33%3

&),-

&REE DRINK REFILLS ` CORN REFILLS

3 4! $ ) 5 - 3 % !4 ) . '

3(/74)-%3 3HOWTIMES

4)-%3 !.$ 4)4,%3 35"*%#4 4/ #(!.'% 2%$ %9% 0'

#/50/.

/: $2).+

WITH PURCHASE OF OZ BAG OF BUTTERY POPCORN

ONE PER AD 3AVOY %XP 3%04 $)

"%34 $%!, IN H.EWSLETTER AT WWW SAVOY COM

MARCH OF THE PENGUINS SYD SLOBODNIK â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

w i l l

a s t r o l o g y (March 21-April 19)

TAU RU S

ROB SCHNEIDER & EDDIE GRIFFIN

PENGUINS

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what â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your sign?

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I MEAN SHIT, THE CRAZY MOOD SWINGS OF GAS PRICES ARE GETTING TO BE MORE THAN I CAN TAKE.

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ARIES

WARNER INDEPENDENT PICTURES

2OUTE "URWASH !VE

â&#x20AC;˘

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Showtimes for 8/19 thru 8/25

3!6/9 WWW SAVOY COM

AU G . 18

(April 20-May 20)

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

In his horoscope column in The Onion, retired machinist Lloyd Shumner told those of us born under the sign of Cancer, "You lack initiative, which means that you usually wait until someone

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

1 8

SCORPIO

a u g

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(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

S AG I T TA R I U S

(Nov. 22-Dec.21)

C A P R I C O R N (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Let's discuss the differences between dumb, unproductive

a u g

31 33 34 35 36 41 42 46 47

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

2+2=4

Dominant figures "___ of Me" (1993 PJ Harvey album) Auction grouping Capital home to the Viking Ship Museum Ultra-bright Donkey's sound Set for kids Entire range Donald's ex

48 49 52 54 55 56 58 59 61

Dashboard Annoy your bedmate, in a way "Young Frankenstein" role Part of a reversal, maybe Iowa State's city Pigsty Bug on the line Lance of the O.J. Trial Leave change on the table

pg.2

DEUCE BIGALOW: EUROPEAN GIGOLO

AU G . 18

COLUMBIA PICTURES

I HATE ILLINOIN NAZIS

Answers

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AND THE NEXT DAY IT’LL BE $2.75 PER GALLON

first things first

“I’ll keep you safe, baby”

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Just as long as we can go to the 1960s Bar in Wiltshire, England and get bombed MICHAEL COULTER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

buzz weekly •

YOU GOT TO LEARN NOT TO TALK TO NUNS THAT WAY

BAD NEWS BEARS

CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY

“Best Kept Secret in C-U” Thank you for choosing us!

Green

309 W. Kirby, Champaign 352-2273

1st

Neil

Gregory Kirby

Memorial Stadium

Jarling’s

across from Jerry’s IGA

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Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

DEADLINE:

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

HELP WANTED

Office and Warehouse Associate. Flexible hours, Meyer Drapery 330 N. Neil. Downtown Champaign. Apply in person or send resume. 3525318.

HELP WANTED Summer Jobs

035

Merchandise 200 GARAGE SALES

Furnished/Unfurnished

280

www.wpgu.com

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

420

APARTMENTS Furnished

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APARTMENTS

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Transportation 300 AUTOMOBILES

310

2002 Pontiac Grand Prix. 2 door GT. 7500 mi. excellent condition. $9500. 351-7732

BICYCLES

320

Specialized P-3 Bicycle. OBO. 217-637-1089.

Apartments

1107 S. EUCLID, C

410

NO BULL!

217-384-6930

PRICES SLASHED 1405-1407 W. KIRBY, C

UNIQUE Available Fall. 1 bedroom loft apartment. Fully equipped. Balcony, parking. 409 W. Green. Call Hardwick Apartments, 356-5272 or 621-1012.

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished 1 BR. $390 C/A. 404 E. Hill, C. 7213033.

1006 S. 3RD, C. Aug 2005. 1 bedroom. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

104 E. Armory, C.

CLASSIFIEDS 337-8337

Available now and Fall 2005. Extra large 1 bd and efficiencies. Prices ranging from $375-485. Off-street parking, security building, & 5 floor plans to choose from. Make your appointment today!

1140 sq/ft. Condo, 2 bedroom, garage, w/d, dishwasher, A/C. 814 Sunset, Urbana. $750/mo. Negotiable 344-9318 or 244-8040.

400

Furnished/Unfurnished

111 E. Healey, Champaign

JTS Properties 328-4284

$550/

APARTMENTS

3 & 4 bedroom apartment, 2 baths. All new furniture. Great Location. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

dailyillini.com

301 E. White, C. 2 BR apartment avaiable mid- August, includes water and parking. $625/mo. Campo Rental Agency 344-1927.

304 & 306 E. Clark, C Castle Apartments 3 blocks to Engineering Quad. 3 BR $690, 4 BR $890. C/A, ceiling fan, dishwasher, washer/dryer in unit. 384-1099, castle_apartments@ameritech.net

602 E. Stoughton Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet, and parking available. Must see!! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

JOHN STREET APARTMENTS

507 W. White, C. Contemporary 2 BR, now available. In the heart of Old-town Champaign. $510/mo, 352-8540, 377-4677pm. www.faronproperties.com

MJM/Chateau Apartments

515 W. WASHINGTON, C.

Champaign 2 Bedrooms

Newly remodeled, 1 BR, Now available. $395/mo. Near dowtown Champaign. 352-8540. www.faronproperties.com

403 E. White - $540/mo. 302 S. Fourth - $540/mo. 405 E. White - $400/mo.

All Units: Carpet, A/C, Appliances Cable & Internet Ready Parking Available On-Site Laundry

Ask Tenant Union about us 390-2377

616 Healey Quiet 1 bedroom, free parking, water, trash. $385. 352-6101.

703 W. CHURCH, C Furnished one bedrooms and efficiencies from $325, $365, and $395 near John and Second or Healey and Third. 356-1407.

GREAT VALUE

uNDER c OVER

n o . 3 3

430

Unfurnished 1 bedroom in older home. $625/ mo. Utilities included. 314 S. State St, Champaign. 369-7205

1 BR. 806 S. Randolph. All utilities paid. No pets. Available now. $495/mo. Nice just off campus. Scott Bechetel. Re/max. 373-4866.

Parkview Apartments 121 W. Park, Urbana Efficiency apartments for fall. Includes water, trash removal, on-site laundry. $395/mo. Campo Rental Agency 344-1927.

404 S. Prairie, C Conveniently located 2 bedroom townhouse. Now available. Near campus and downtown Champaign, $510/mo. 352-8540, 377-4677 pm. www.faronproperties.com

1004 S. Anderson, U.

Quiet area large 1 bedroom in 1940’s building. Lots of windows. Garage included in rent. NO PETS. $485 + utilities. 359-5115.

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write: 57 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820

ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT

13 13

| 15 - 17 | 15

We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini

Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

The Piper’s Hut • Kyle Gorman

| 13 - 14 |

call: 217.337.3801

First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50

AROUND TOWN

MAIN EVENT

e-mail: buzz@readbuzz.com

The Local Sniff • Seth Fein This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening First Things First • Michael Coulter Free Will Astrology Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney

| 10 - 12 |

TALK TO BUZZ

INTRO

16 16 16 17 | 18 - 20 |

Krannert preview • Jeff Nelson Feature author • Constance Beitzel Artist’s Corner with Nathan Clark (Th)ink • Keef Knight

CLASSIFIEDS

EDITOR’S NOTE PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

It’s about that time, again.

14 E. Washington. Downtown 2 bedroom apartment. $450. 110 E. Crystal Lake Dr., Urbana. 34 bedroom, 1 bath, 2 car garage. $750.

Park-like Setting

2 BR avail. mid-August laundry, pkg, W/A, $485/mo The Weiner Companies, Ltd

384-8018

www.weinercompanies.com

OLD TOWN CHAMPAIGN

APARTMENTS

buzz weekly •

I MEAN, ONE DAY IT’LL BE $2.45 PER GALLON...

BUZZ STAFF v o l u m e

Unfurnished

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|1-5|

312 W. Springfield, URBANA

$8.25/HR. STARTING

Billed rate: 35¢/word

Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue

030

Full/Part Time

RATES: Paid-in-Advance: 28¢/word

020

410

APARTMENTS

PHONE: 217/337-8337 DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

INDEX

AU G . 18

MY TEARS FOR YOU ARE LIKE DARK CHOCOLATE- BITTER SWEET AND PROBABLY NO GOOD FOR ME.

THE

18 • b u z z w e e k l y

PRICES SLASHED 115 W. WASHINGTON, U

Avail Aug 2005. 1 bedroom apts. Carpet, window a/c, laundry, boiler heat. Rent was $510/mo. Now $425/mo. Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

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seth fein

AU G . 18

IS IT JUST ME, OR DO GAS PRICES MAKE NO SENSE AT ALL?

the local sniff

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Silver Bullet Bar 344-0937

1401 E. Washington, U. www.silverbulletbar.net

OPEN Monday - Thursday 8pm-1am Friday-Saturday 8pm-2am Ladies & Couples Welcome Always Free Admission with our T-Shirt ATM $5.00 Admission/Ladies Free Accepted MUST BE 21

Puzzle

Monday - $2 Domestic Beers Tuesday - $2 Rum & Coke Wednesday - $2.50 Screwdrivers Thursday - $2 Amaretto Stone Sours FREE POOL 8PM-9PM FEMALE DANCERS NIGHTLY

pg.5

BEST BAR IN CHAMPAIGN-URBANA BEST DJ’S AND MUSIC - BEST DRINK SPECIALS

2 4 , 2 OO5

430

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430

Unfurnished

RENT IT!!! 337-8337

buzz weekly •

MY TEARS FOR YOU ARE LIKE DARK CHOCOLATE- BITTER SWEET AND PROBABLY NO GOOD FOR ME.

Unfurnished

I'll throw away your trash cans if you don't follow the rules!

•

APARTMENTS

Let us not be as Ignorant as Gibson City SETH FEIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

AU G . 18

460

SUBLETS Summer with Fall Option

SUBLETS

440

Other Rentals 500 510

2 bedroom and 7 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2004. 367-6626.

Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2850 367-6626

316 S. State St., C 4/ 5 bedroom home, 2 baths, 2 full kitchens, laundry room. $1100/mo. 369-7205.

www.wpgu.com

• On-campus or off-campus • Excellent Tenant Union record • Weekend/evening showings by appointment

CALL US AT (217) 384-6930 VIEW OUR LISTINGS @ www.johnsmithproperties.com

ROOM & BOARD

540

Room, private bath, all meals in comfortable east Urbana home. $650/mo. 328-2445 Want community? Vegetarian meals? Affordable private rooms? www.couch.coop

English Creek Court condo Champaign. 2 bedroom, 1.5 bath. Unfurnished. Near Parkland. $650/mo. 621-5446

3 BR home close to campus. 1 bath, one- car garage. $750/mo. Posession date 9/15. 621-2229.

Quality apartments and houses for rent • Many pet-friendly locations • Furnished AND Unfurnished units • 9 month leases negotiable at some locations

510

Available now. 3 BR $840/mo. 7664746.

HOUSES

www.ramshaw.com (217)359-6400

JTS Properties 328-4284 Urbana Houses Available August 2005

Near Campus, $350/ mo. 367-6626.

905 W. Main

Roommate Wanted, Starting in August for off campus home with sunroom. $325 includes utilities. Linda 328-1417

2 BR, 1 Bath, W/D, pets welcome, & off-street parking. $800/mo.

105 N. Coler

Newly remodeled 5 BR, 2 bath, hardwood floors, off-street parking with garage. $1500/mo.

ROOMS

530

Rooms available from $335/mo. 367-6626

SPRING SPECIALS!

570

Near Lincoln & Illinois. 1 garage also avaiable. 417-0566. Parking for rent at 2nd & Daniel and near 3rd & Gregory. 384-9444

RealEstateforSale 600 CONDOS/DUPLEXES

620

HOUSES

630

For Sale

Need roommate to share a 3 bedroom house. Off Neil and Hessel. $300/mo + utilities. 352-1704

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Send us your event listings

Announcements800 MISCELLANEOUS

830

The back to school Funk-A-Thon Thursday, Aug. 18, 9pm- 1am @ the Urbana Armory. 600 E. University Ave. $10 per person. First 150 freshmen, $8. Call 217-365-0263.

indispensible spin

RENTS STARTING AT

No Security Deposit $50 Off Application Fee $50 Look & Lease Drawing on 6/30/05 for: • MP3 Player • Digital Camcorder • Mobile Entertainment System • and other cool prizes!

PARKING/STORAGE

calendar@readbuzz.com

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BEST BANG FOR YOUR BUCK

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CAMPUS CONNECTION

Indispensible Spin.

formerly Melrose Apartments 1601 N Lincoln Ave, Urbana

278-0278

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www.collegeparkweb.com

20 • b u z z w e e k l y

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NONE OF US ARE VIRGINS, LIFE HAS SCREWED US ALL.

z buz FREE

O8 | 18 | O5 . O8 | 24 | O5 champaign . urbana

SUNDAY, AUGUST 21 8PM-MIDNIGHT

Hourly Discounts

8-9pm 9-10pm 10-11pm 11-Midnight

20% Off General Reading Books 20% Off School Supplies 20% Off Clothing & Accessories 10% Off Used Books

Refreshments will be served!

Not valid with any other offer. In-store only.

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pg 8