Buzz Magazine: Aug. 31, 2006

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no.34

Cover Design • Hank Patton Editor in chief • Erin Scottberg Art Director • Brittany Bindrim Copy Chief • Meghan Whalen Listen, Hear • Anna Statham Stage, Screen & in Between • Elyse Russo Around Town •Tatyana Safronova CU Calendar • Annette Gonzalez Photography Editor • Christina Leung Designers • Hank Patton, Monica Betel, Annie Mui Calendar Coordinator • Brian McGovern Photography • Christina Leung Copy Editors • Sarah Goebel, Emily Ciaglia, Ilana Katz, Whitney Harris Staff Writers • Paul Prikazsky, Caryle Wisel, Amy Meyer Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein Sales Manager • Mark Nattier Marketing/Distribution • Brandi Wills Publisher • Mary Cory

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A u g u s t 31

S e p t e m b e r 6 , 2 oo 6

UNDER THE COVER |1-3| 3 3 3 |4-7| 4 6 7 | 8 - 11 | 8 9 10 11

INTRO This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening First Things First • Michael Coulter

AROUND TOWN The Remains of a Town • S. Colby Smith Community Snapshot The Local Sniff • Seth Fein

LISTEN, HEAR Meet Charlie Hunter • Anna Statham CU Sound Revue • Mike Ingram Carlye & Brian Album reviews

| 12 - 13 |

CU CALENDAR

| 14 - 19 |

STAGE, SCREEN & IN BETWEEN

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Artwork by Profs • Dan Brunner Artist’s Corner: Joan Stolz Page Rage • Matt Hoffman Movie Reviews Almost Famous Hidden Gem/Guilty Pleasure

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Doin it Well • Kim Rice & Kate Ruin Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney Likes and Gripes

erin scottberg EDITOR’S NOTE

A

new semester means change: new living quarters, new classes, maybe even a new major. For some reason, though, it seems like campus changed more these past three months than any other summer in my college career, which, I might add, has just begun its fifth year (don’t stop ’till you get enough, as Jacko would say).

Biggest difference? Urbana is non-smoking.

After spending a summer in smoke-free New York, I actually kind of like the idea of a smoking ban, although I have yet to be convinced that it’s the role of the government, not that of the business owner, to implement such a thing.

I’ve been smoking for much longer that I’d like to admit and although my tobacco habit was on the decline before the summer, having to go outside to suck down a cancer stick after throwing back a shot definitely weakened the addiction. Plus, it’s much easier to get away with not showering the morning after a night out when your hair doesn’t smell like an ashtray.

Lincoln Avenue has also changed a bit since the first time I laid eyes on the street as a starry-eyed (uh, black-eyed to be honest, but that’s another story) freshman on my way to my new diggs at LAR. The formerly tame yet grassy street now features a mini-skyline starring the new Alice Campbell Alumni Center. Although I haven’t had a chance to check out the place — no spring ’06 graduation also meant I didn’t attend the Center’s inaugural graduation picnic — I hear it’s pretty nice. However, after spending countless hours in the Office of Admissions and Records only to be shuffled back across Wright Street, that corner of campus leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

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Jaywalking on Lincoln Avenue is now much easier thanks to the new stoplights. Last spring, you actually had to use the crosswalks to get across the street. Traffic is now slow enough to make dodging cars and buses a breeze — not that I encourage it.

This semester I want students to take more responsibility when crossing the street. We can start by looking both ways, just like Mamma said.

Seriously, when you’re texting your BFF, changing the song on your iPod and playing solitaire on your PDA, all while trying to get the attention of your buddy on the other side, it’s hard to chew gum, let alone cross the street. Pay attention.

On last Tuesday’s rainy afternoon, I wandered into the Illini Union to see how the summer treated the ol’ student hangout. Although I’ve never spent as much time in that building as Saved by the Bell: The College Years made me think I would, the new Quad Shop might change that.

Their fully stocked magazine rack is now in direct competition with the computer labs and Zorba’s for my breaks between class.

And of course, buzz has some new features to show off too. In Listen, Hear, staff writers Carlye Wisel and Brian McGovern bring their witty pop culture banter to print and Mike Ingram has stepped in to keep you current with the local music scene. You’ll also see two new faces in Stage, Screen and in Between — Chloe Slench and Mike Hubbard — who are here to make sure you’re informed of the latest CU celeb gossip. Yeah, that’s right, CU has celebrities. Or at least we’re calling them that.

So kick back, take a load off and allow me to welcome you to another semester in CU. And please, look both ways before you cross the street. sounds from the scene

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buzz weekly •

MONEY CAN’T BUY HAPPINESS BUT IT CAN CERTAINLY RENT IT FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS.

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michael coulter FIRST THINGS FIRST

Cleaning drives me to drink ...or is it the other way around?

T

hree’s sort of an extra room at my place. I say “sort of ” because it is actually used on a regular basis. Sadly, it is used as a haphazard receptacle for anything in my hand that I no longer wish to hold. Now, I simply refer to it as “the junk room,” which is a pretty good indicator that any sort of half hearted battle to defeat it is already lost. The room is the United States in 1983 and I am Grenada.

On Saturday, for some reason, enough became enough. I decided to clean the room and I did it the only way I know how. Like any good country boy, I’m a firm believer that there’s no problem that can’t be solved with a six-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon, a bottle of Jim Beam and five or six George Jones records. I understand it’s a tad pathetic that I have to be half in the bag to give the house a thorough cleaning, but I’ve stumbled upon a system that really works for me.

The George Jones music makes me feel like getting ripped to the tits, a few quick shots of whiskey make me just intoxicated enough to believe that cleaning is actually a fun idea, and the beer manages to maintain this poor judgment until the task at hand is completed. I usually have a drunken crying breakdown when George’s rendition of “He Stopped Loving Her Today” comes on, but otherwise, the whole experience is a smooth as a single-malt scotch.

The beginning of the cleaning process was quite liberating, as I was only picturing the room after its completion. It has long been my idea to make it my own little fortress of solitude. I’m not completely sure who I would be getting away from since it’s just me and the dog, but still, that was the idea. I pictured a leather chair and foot stool in the middle of the room, a place to read for hours or to sit quietly and listen to some music. Never mind the fact I usually only read in bed and the last album I actually sat down and listened to was Pink Floyd’s The Wall sometime in high school, it was my initial idea and I was sticking to it.

Generally, my tendency is to half-ass a job such as this, so I decided to really concentrate and fullass it. I began by cleaning out the closet. It was actually pretty organized in the first place, but

this gave me the opportunity to dick around for awhile. I found a few shirts I would never wear again and started a Goodwill bag. Then, I finally managed to pull the trigger and dispose of a pair of pants I’ve had for about twenty years. I have to say, I really liked those pants, but I also have to admit my waist is probably never going to be 31 inches again. I suppose my thinking was that I should save the pants in case I get cancer and lose a ton of weight sometime. It then occurred to me that saving a pair of “cancer pants” just in case was no longer the way I wished to live my life.

I opened a couple of boxes and read some old love letters from college. This really made the George Jones music resonate—and it also took a pretty good chuck out of the whiskey bottle.

It seemed sort of cool, that I had written actual letters to women in my life. It was even cooler that a few of them had actually written back.

Man, there was one girl who really liked me much more than I liked myself back then. I can’t really remember, but I’m fairly sure it ended badly–just like most of those George Jones songs.

In another box, I found a really cool pen and ink set. Apparently I was quite the calligrapher at one time in my life. I have no memory of this.

I found one bottle of ink that wasn’t completely dried up and wrote my name on a sheet of heavy paper. It struck me that I wasn’t all that bad at this and that I should do it more often. It also struck me that the need for such a thing almost never comes up in my life.

By this juncture, the beers were gone and so was my initiative. I casually kicked a few items to the side of the room and uncovered a bone the dog had long forgotten about. Well, it’s a pretty good day for the dog. Actually, it was a pretty good day for me, too.

Finally, I admitted to myself that the cleaning thing really just wasn’t working. Don’t get me wrong, it was a pretty fine day, but the cleaning part really hadn’t added anything to the equation. Maybe the room was already what I wanted it to be. I had read there. I had listened to music there. I had even written my name in a kick ass Old English script. That’s more than I usually do on Saturday. I decided my day was done. There was a bit more whiskey to drink, and seriously, there had to be a ballgame on TV somewhere.

sdfa

OOPS! WE MADE A MISTAKE • Although buzz strives for accuracy, we sometimes make mistakes. If you catch something we didn’t,

please let use know at buzz@readbuzz.com. When a correction is needed, it will be listed here.

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around town

THE REMAINS OF A TOWN S. COLBY SMITH • STAFF WRITER

This is the last article in a series on Sadorus, Ill., a town 10 miles southwest of Champaign.

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rbana was established in 1833, Champaign in 1852, and then the University of Illinois in 1867. The two new settlements flourished and became known as “town” — as in “going to town for the day” — according to Gertrude McDuffee. She should know. At 98 years old, McDuffee has witnessed the farm transformation from oxen to John Deere. When McDuffee was young, families rarely went to town because “the roads were difficult (to travel) and we had everything we needed right there.”

The small-town mentality that conjures images of the quintessential Illinois prairie is alive and well. Folks wave a friendly hello when walking through town. From a relaxed slouch on their porch swings, old-timers call to neighborhood children by name. But much about the once prosperous original settlement of Champaign County has changed since McDuffee’s youth.

The Sadorus Rock now has a large fissure running through it, and village board President John Deedrick said that the town is afraid to check the back of the rock’s commemorative plaque — curious about the date it was plated, by whom, and whether there is an inscription there in the first place — for fear that doing so may further damage the landmark. The original Henry Sadorus Inn has fallen into such disrepair that the village council, local preservation committees, and independent investors all decline risking the financial burden of a restoration.

The Grand Prairie Co-Op offices shut their doors and moved five miles up the road to Tolono 10 years ago. The grocery closed, reopened as a pub in 1994, and then closed its doors again in 2004. The Amoco gas station was abandoned, so there is no local grocer or convenience store.

Deedrick purchased the abandoned gas station after the town failed to attract any chain businesses.

“We t r ied ever y t h i n g, but no one wou ld come,” Deedeick said.

Market Street is no longer appropriately named. A small antiques boutique, one of the few remaining retail outlets, recently went out of business, and the building remains unsold. An anhydrous ammonia fertilizer vendor and the machine shop represent just about all that is left along the main drag of the Village of Sadorus, a village that was once a popular stop along the Great Western Railroad.

Janet Payne has lived on the same block in Sadorus all of her 65 years. She speaks lovingly of her town, of her father farming there, of having raised her own family there, and of her daughter buying a house and raising a family on that ver y same block. But she admits reluctantly that Sadorus has changed.

Retired from the farm life, Payne and her husband began some speculative investment in real estate. Their holdings — all profitable, Payne said — are in Savoy, near the new Super Wal-Mart.

When asked why she and her husband did not purchase any land in Sadorus, she said, “It’s not a smart investment.”

Even Payne’s granddaughters, Sarah Beard and her sister, who are both pursuing college degrees — Sarah in marketing, her sister in medicine — want to lead professional lives and picture their lives outside of their home town.

“It was an OK place to grow up,” Sarah said. “But I don’t want to come back to Sadorus after college.”

A quirky, unkempt museum devoted to models of ships accentuates the stagnation of Market Street. Many of the mod-

A house valued at approximately $250,000 is being built on a cul-de-sac that backs up to the old part of town. Zehr said the house would cost at least $100,000 more in Champaign. “We’ve been selling them faster than we can build them,” Zehr said of the new homes going up in Fisher’s former cornfields. els are impeccably crafted and wondrous in their artisanship, but the museum is bizarrely landlocked, a good eight miles from the Kaskaskia River. The tribute to maritime models opens its doors to visitors once a week on Saturdays for six hours.

Gertrude McDuffee was raised primarily in Sadorus, though she spent one year in Indiana so that her father, a German-born immigrant by the name of Polk, could farm with an old friend of his.

She still owns her share of her father’s farm but is reluctant to sell. Despite her increasing medical costs and her children’s and grandchildren’s apprehension of inheriting the demanding family farming business, McDuffee said she still “feels like a part of that land.”

One of her sons fought in World War II and relocated out of state.

“He comes to visit, and I like that,” McDuffee said, “but I know he wants me to give in and sell my land.”

Farmland has been falling into the hands of a few since the late 1970s and early 1980s at an alarming pace, said Bill Stierwalt, one of a trio of brothers whose family has farmed around Sadorus for generations. “The concept of a family farm is just about dead.”

In the growing community of Fisher, Lois Stalter and her husband are another example of the struggling family farm. Now in their fifties, the couple manages to farm approximately 1,500 acres, Stalter said. Twenty-five years ago, they “had one bad year … and needed supplemental income.”

Now, Stalter still feels like they need that extra money. Five years ago, she and a friend opened a flower shop in downtown Fisher and she also works part-time as a nurse at Carle Hospital’s extension in western Champaign. She said she likes the work, but regrets that she has to do it.

Stalter and her husband own only about one-third of the 1,500 acres they farm. She said they lease the remaining 1,000 acres from various landowners.

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“So far, we (Fisher-based farmers) have resisted the convergence trend,” she said.

Stalter said none of her three children have expressed any interest in taking over the family farm.

“My kids all went to college and got good jobs. It’s too hard to make ends meet (as a farmer) anymore,” Statler said. “When we retire, we’ll probably sell. What else can we do? The land is worth a lot of money.”

Mike and Lori Pflugmacher live in Penfield, a tiny town a couple of miles east of Gifford. They are recreational farmers, cultivating 80 acres of soybeans. Lori said they “make a few dollars here and there” on the crop.

“We take what we can get,” she said. “If (farming) is in the blood, you never lose it.”

Mike is an assistant director of the National Center for Supercomputing Applications at the University of Illinois. Like most white-collar professionals in the smaller towns around Champaign County, the jobs are elsewhere.

The couple spent a five-year stint in suburban Chicago so Mike could work a high-paying position with Bell Laboratories, now Lucent Technologies. But, the draw back to the heartland was too great.

“This is home to me,” Lori said. “I just wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.”

The younger generation of farmers, however, is choosing to f ind work elsewhere. Neither the Pf lugmacher children, nor the children of Lois Stalter in Fisher, nor the children and grandchildren of Gertrude McDuffee in Sadorus will farm their ancestors’ land.

Residents of Sadorus still talk proudly about their town, but they voice their pride in the past tense. It was the first permanent European settlement in Champaign County. Abraham Lincoln sounds from the scene

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S e p t e m b e r 6 , 2 oo 6

was once a visitor to Henry Sadorus’s tavern. The railroad through town used to be a major stop for local farmers. The high school basketball team was state champion. The village was once prosperous enough and the farms productive enough to support three independently owned banks.

But all of that can change with one simple school board vote, Lori Pflugmacher said. Pflugmacher, who grew up, was raised, and still lives in Penfield, has identified to the day the beginning of the town’s end: “The (school) board decided to close the school and merge with Gifford.� “If you don’t have schools, you don’t have anything,� said Pflugmacher, a mother of four whose children all have either attended or are enrolled in Gifford Schools.

Residents of Gifford and Penf ield, whose children attend the Gifford Elementary School, have continued to support referendums that maintain and update the local school. Last year, the residents of Gifford and Penfield passed a $1.5 million referendum that will add a new gymnasium to the elementary school and convert the old one into more classroom space, according to Paul Buenting, president of the Gifford school board.

Despite the pride that parents like Pflugmacher take in their school systems, there is always resistance to an increase in property taxes. “We only passed the referendum by a narrow margin,� Buenting said. “One-point-five million dollars is a lot of money. It took a lot of hard work getting the message out that our children really needed this. We had some good people working for us, going around town putting up fliers, knocking on doors, that kind of thing.�

Residents like Buenting, with their dedication

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to community, are what keep small towns like Gifford ticking smoothly. Buenting works fulltime from a home office as an accountant and does part-time computer maintenance. He donates his time to the school board, even balancing the school’s books free of charge.

At the time of this interview, Buenting was in middle of remodeling his home and converting his garage into a new and bigger office. From the curbless street in the old part of town, Buenting’s house looked like a small tornado had touched down in his front yard. Aged asphalt shingles, haplessly tossed off the roof, littered the front yard. Construction-grade vapor barrier, with its ubiquitous Tyvek trademark, wrapped the exterior wall to his new office.

Inside the progressing renovation, bits and pieces of malfunctioning tower computers were heaped in the corner, per Buenting’s part-time computer repair work. “I’ll get to those one of these days,� he said. “Things have just been so hectic with the referendum and trying to finalize designs for the addition.�

Buenting’s fa x machine was stacked on top of the laser printer, which was, in turn, perched on a wire mail caddy. The room smelled of sanded plaster and fresh paint.

Bare copper wire protruded from holes cut into the stuccoed walls.

Still, there was Buenting, sitting upright in a maroon leather high back chair, chatting away about the love he feels for the town of Gifford and its schools, behind a desk piled high with old tax files and school papers and half-finished to-do lists. “I was born and raised here,� he said. “I love the small town feel of it and how you know

ever yone.� Buenting’s dedication to the G i f ford E le ment a r y s chool s t e m s f r om a sense of tradition: Both his mother and grandmother were involved in the Gifford schools, he said.

In the case of Sadorus, the Unit 7 school district assimilated the town’s elementary school when residents, weary of increasing taxes, repeatedly voted down referendums that would either construct a new building or remodel the hundred-year-old structure that had fallen into disrepair, according to district Superintendent Mike Shonk.

In 2002, Unit 7 demolished the old school building and sold the land. A new elementary school, Unity West, was built on the near side of Tolono, but parents now have to bus their children to school, about five miles away.

Tolono, surrounded by three of the four schools in the Unit 7 school district, has grown immensely in the years since the schools converged. While the census estimated that between the years of 2000 and 2005 the population of Tolono only increased from 2700 to 2776, Shonk believes that figure is a miscalculation because it does not take into account the new schools — Unity West Elementary School and a junior high — which were completed in 2002 and brought with them a major construction boom. “There’s not a community that hasn’t benefited from these new schools in one way or another — of course, some more than others,� he said.

It would be difficult to argue that the students are not better off in the beautiful, well-lit classrooms of Unity West Elementary School than they were at Sadorus Elementary. Sadorus resident Janet Payne recalled that before the old building

5

was demolished, it was “out of code and would have cost a fortune to bring up to the standards of Unity West.�

Kathy Beard, a resident of Sadorus and a day care provider, said she is happy to make the extra drive over to Tolono to take her wards to the brand new building.

The long-term cost of sacrificing the local school to the overall welfare of the community is evidenced by the attitude of Naomi Arnette.

A mother of seven, Arnette and her husband moved to Sadorus two years ago. Arnette said that she has been very happy with Unity West but also added that Sadorus was not her first choice of places to live. “My husband and I would have rather moved to Tolono, but we couldn’t afford it. Sadorus had the best house I could find in my price range,� she said.

By many measures, Sadorus feels like it might be a nice place to live, maybe even to raise a family. It is, after all, quintessentially Midwest.

The land is flat and fertile. The folks are friendly.

But, there’s nowhere other than the Super WalMart ten miles away to grab a gallon of milk and a pack of diapers at 3 a.m.

Go ahead and read the plaque, but don’t look too closely. The old Sadorus Rock has a crack in it. Few seem to have noticed. buzz Buzz would like to clear up a mistake from the first part of this series, published on Aug. 17.

The three new Unit 7 schools, two elementary schools and a junior high, have Tolono addresses but are actually located outside city limits. Also, the high school is not a recent addition to Unit 7.

It actually opened in 1958.

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ebecca Bedinger is a hair stylist, a fashion designer, a philanthropist and the owner and manager of Ippatsu Salon on 122 North Neil St. in Champaign. The shop has a different ambiance than run-of-the-mill hair salons. The textured olive green walls are adorned with intriguing bits of art, some created by Ippatsu’s stylists. An elegant mannequin affectionately referred to as “Nancy” poses in the window. Artfully broken plaster busts adorn the back wall, atop a long display of colorful hair care products, and as the stylists are hard at work in front of tall, curvy mirrors, eclectic music floats throughout the shop. Bedinger, who bought the place three years ago, is not your typical stylist either.

Born in Catlin, a small town about six miles outside of Danville, she loved to play with her father’s hair as a child.

“I would style it and then puts all these clips in it,” Bedinger said. “Sometimes he’d forget it was in there.”

Bedinger, however, didn’t initially follow through with her hobby.

She attended Danville Area Community College, majoring in elementary education and business management. However, she soon discovered that this was not her calling.

At the time, Bedinger worked as a receptionist at a local salon. She liked what she saw around her and began to consider a career in hair design.

“It looked really interesting and the girls seemed to have a lot of fun,” Bedinger said.

“I wanted something that changes everyday, and hair does that.”

After a year at the college, Bedinger moved to Springfield to attend the Undergraduate School of Cosmetology. Knowing that there is always a demand for haircuts, Bedinger said she felt confident about her career move. Cosmetology also appealed to Bedinger’s artistic sensibilities because, she said, “every haircut is a design, so you are constantly doing art.”

After graduation, Bedinger worked at various salons in the Champaign area. Her big break came when she purchased Ippatsu Salon from its previous owners, who were moving to Chicago.

Bedinger said she loved the salon and wanted to preserve it as it was, and had she not purchased the salon when she did, it would have closed in a matter of days.

To Bedinger, the space is a haven where stylists can enjoy their work.

“Stylists can be ver y comfortable here,” Bed inger sa id. “W hen they wa l k in, they don’t feel l i ke they’re com ing into work; they feel like they’re coming in to do what they enjoy.”

Ippatsu offers cuts, styling, custom colors and Japanese thermal straightening. Ippatsu is known for offering fresh alternative styles, but Bedinger said her salon creates hair designs on both ends of the spectrum. The haircuts her clients ask for range from simple and classic to wild and edgy.

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Ippatsu also offers a wide variety of European cuts which haven’t hit the States just yet. Bedinger is passionate about traveling, which meshes well with her chosen line of work.

“I like to travel places where I am still working,” Bedinger said. “I research new styles and hopefully can bring them back.”

Bedinger is currently planning a trip to Amsterdam, Paris and London to research innovations in hair design.

Not only do Bedinger and the Ippatsu stylists offer the latest hairstyles and hair care products — readers of the local magazine The Hub have voted them as the best stylists in the ChampaignUbrana area this year — they are also local philanthropists. For the last three years, Ippatsu has presented fashion shows for charitable causes.

Last year’s proceeds benefited the victims of Hurricane Katrina, and the year prior they supported the Crisis Nursery, an Urbana agency that aims to prevent child abuse and provide family support.

This year, the Sept. 3 show at Soma Ultralounge in Champaign, entitled “The Great Clash”, is a benefit for Mark Daily, a Champaign resident who has been diagnosed with glioblastomay, a type of brain tumor.

Ippatsu has been abuzz lately with preparations for the show. When she is not cutting hair, Bedinger spends a good deal of her time researching, shopping, and designing looks for the show. “The Great Clash” will feature clients and other area residents as models. All makeup and hair designs will be created by Ippatsu stylists.

Bedinger said the show’s name comes from the concept of “clashing” different eras of music and fashion. The styles that will be smashed up on stage will span different decades and represent genres as varied as glam rock, punk, disco and country.

“The ’50s and ’80s looks will be on stage at the same time,” Bedinger said. “While they clash against each other, DJ Elise will let music from the eras bang against each other.”

In the future, the restless Bedinger plans to expand Ippatsu’s repertoire of services. In the next couple of weeks Matt Steins, a tattoo artist from Chicago, will be coming to work at Ippatsu, and the back room will be converted into a tattoo parlor, called “No Regrets Tattoo.” Steins is currently designing a tattoo for Bedinger.

As for herself, Bedinger also has ambitious future plans.

“My goal is to do education with hair,” she said. “I want to do international education with a company, traveling and working with other stylists and teaching them the newest trends.”

As Ippatsu’s friendly Chihuahua, Roxanne, curled up in her lap, Bedinger explained why she loves what she does so much.

“I love the change and getting to meet so many people,” she said. “It’s great to just be able to make someone’s day better sometimes.”

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CHRISTINA LEUNG • PHOTO

EVERY THURSDAY

REBECCA BEDINGER

Rebecca Bedinger, 28, is a hair stylist and is the owner of Ippatsu Salon. Ippatsu Hair Salon is located on Neil Street in downtown Champaign.

Its hours are Tuesday to Saturday from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. sounds from the scene

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AS GOD SAID TO JOB, CHECKMATE.

7

seth fein THE LOCAL SNIFF

Sniffer washes off in Kitchen Sync Illini quarterback on drugs; found passed out on illegal couch in Urbana.

FIRST SNIFF I had a different First Sniff all written out. I usually try to start off with something that will either hit you over the head or will be relevant in some of the paragraphs to come. But I have decided to change it based on reading the DI Monday morning. And given this audience, this might be even better than what I had originally planned.

Monday, the DI had their annual Big Ten football preview thingy. And while I realize that the sports writers at the DI are forced to ink painfully hopeful rhetoric as a result of allegiance and proximity, let me be the first to state that: 1) The Illini football team is going to suck this year. 2) A 4-8 record would be an improvement, sure — but let’s face it — that would be a miracle. 3) Tim Brasic is about as good as Mike Tomczak. On ludes. 4) The Illini football team is going to suck next year too.

Oh yes. I forgot to mention this last week: I am a die-hard Purdue fan.

THE KITCHEN SYNC When I first heard about the Kitchen Sync, The Hub’s (hopefully) annual guide to CU, I was skeptical. Although a fine weekly, The Hub doesn’t usually take risks by criticizing local businesses or people. And hey, I understand — advertising runs the show and if you piss off enough people, no one will give you their money.

So, when it f inally came out, I opened it, expecting to see, well, not much. I’ve been off before — but man — I was WAY off this time.

This little mag is totally worth your time. Aside from being a fun and well-crafted read, one of my favorite columnists, Sarah Michelson, had the chance to not only review but rank all the bars she found to be relevant in CU. I was impressed … but I disagree with her on some things: Five out of five for décor at The Embassy (Urbana) but only one out of five at The Canopy? Hey — I’m the first to say that the Canopy’s décor needs to be, well, totally fucking changed. But a one?

That’s just ridiculous, relatively speaking.

And what’s more — they have a great incomplete history of the music scene written by Rose Marshack of the Poster Children/Salaryman, a great debate on Champaign and Urbana written C.S. Lewis style via The Screwtape Letters, a review of all the annual festivals in town, and so many more things.

Cheers to the staff and editors at The Hub, especially Heather Zydek (who we will all miss dearly). You guys and gals all did a bang up job.

I LIKE A COUCH ON THE FRONT PORCH, DAMMIT. See, this is the thing that I don’t really get about Urbana. The city can do so many wonderful things for its citizens — they can vote for a resolution to end the war, they can vote to ban smoking, they can vote to go out of their way to improve neighborhoods and business districts that were rapidly dilapidating. But then, they decide to entertain the hot button, ever-so-important sounds from the scene

issue of furniture on porches.

Uh, what the fuck is that?

Yeah, yeah, I get it. The college kids get lazy and are poor and like to sit on the old green couch that has squirrels living in it. I understand. And yes, that used to be me.

But let’s just get serious here. This is another WUNA thing. For those of you who have forgotten, WUNA stands for West Urbana Neighborhood Association. It’s for people who are so bored with their lives that they devote their energy to ensuring that everyone on their block lives by their standards. Essentially, it’s just domesticated Stalinism, without the blood and guts.

Thankfully, the city council voted against passing an ordinance banning couches. Good for them. But to even spend time and the tax payer’s money on this issue is just retarded. Yeah. It is. Not in the mentally disabled way, but literally: it’s a retardation of a city’s responsibility as a democracy to even put it to a vote.

Last I heard, the Urbana police department was accused and proven to be racially profiling people. Priorities, my friends, is something that seems to missing here.

BUSINESS OF THE WEEK It’s not so much a business in the traditional sense as it is a community gift, but BBQ Heaven has officially become the best BBQ joint in town, hands down.

It is located on Goodwin Ave, three blocks north of University Avenue under a tent, and it’s only open on Saturday and Sunday. Their hot links are the best south of Chi-town.

SHOW OF THE WEEK The Great Crusades, who recently inked with Innocent Words, will release their newest record, Four Thirty, at Cowboy Monkey tomorrow night at 9:00 with the support of solid CU vets The Greedy Loves and, The Sniffer’s personal favorite, Lanterna. It’s too good to miss.

FINAL WHIFF Something I forgot to mention as well last week, to all you newly devoted readers of the Sniff (including my favorite teacher from sophomore year of high school, Sue Feldman and her husband, Pius): I am on a warpath to get John Foreman, the editor in chief and publisher of the News-Gazette, to apologize for endorsing George W. Bush in the 2004 elections. As of today, it’s officially been 467 days since, and even though I know that Foreman doesn’t have the balls to do it, I hope that his black heart skips a beat every time someone tells him about my little tirade. Come on John, I know you wanna….

Seth Fein is from Urbana. He was genuinely concerned that future generations of Urbana “Trustafarians” wouldn’t be able to enjoy the beauty of sitting on a 30 year old couch while drinking tall boys of Coors Light. He can be reached at sethfein1@gmail.com INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

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th

AND ON THE STRING, CHARLIE HUNTER CREATED PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.CHARLIEHUNTER.COM

J az z

Charlie Hunter has created a name for himself by mastering the eight-stringed guitar.

ANNA STATHAM • LISTEN, HEAR EDITOR

A

ntacid jazz [ant•as•id•jaz] n. 1. the self-proclaimed musical style of the Charlie Hunter Trio: a combination of old-school jazz and contemporary pop and rock, originating in the Bay Area of California; 2. a spoof of the media’s tendency to use the label “acid jazz” to describe the Trio’s music. See Charlie Hunter.

Charlie Hunter has been playing lead guitar and bass for The Charlie Hunter Trio since 1993 and for numerous other side projects since the ’80s. With his thirteenth album Copperopolis released last February, Hunter has spent the majority of the past 20 years recording and performing both here and abroad.

“I feel a real urgency in life and that’s reflected in my music,” Hunter has said about his work. “It’s my only creative outlet.

It’s the only avenue I have to scream about my life and what’s happening in other people’s world. It’s my fail-safe antidote to the world.”

Like most guitarists in today’s music industry, Hunter is capable of playing lead guitar and bass. However, unlike almost every other guitarist in the world and in history, Charlie Hunter possesses the uncanny ability to play them both at the same time. With his custom-made eight-stringed guitar (three bass strings, five guitar strings, and two pickups), Hunter has wowed his audiences and peers and created a following amongst jazz and rock fans with his psychedelic jazz improvisation and legendary technique.

Growing up in Berkeley, California, Hunter accredited the Bay Area and its unending plethora of different musical cultures for exposing him to the genres that influence his music. Like many other neighborhood kids, Hunter started taking guitar lessons as a teenager from Joe Satriani. According to Hunter, initially he kept his interest for jazz under wraps, instead dabbling in “blues, rockabilly, funk and soul.”

“During high school, friends of mine who played in the high school jazz band were seen as nerds, so I didn’t want to associate INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, H EAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

with them,” Hunter said. “I started listening to jazz albums inde- experimenting in side projects, appearing on Conan O’Brien, and releasing records on such labels as Blue Note Records, pendently at the Berkeley Public Library.”

Hunter referenced 18 as the age when he discovered Char- Warner Brothers, and most recently Ropeadope.

Hunter’s mission when it comes to playing music is to expose lie Parker, Charlie Christian and John Coltrane, and jazz swalcontemporary society to an improvisational jazz style reminiscent lowed him whole. of Charlie Parker, Thelonious A fter acquir ing his f irst Monk, and Louis Armstrong, cu stom-m ade i n st r u ment, a with a pop/rock influence. seven-str inged guitar, in the “I think our music is an alter’80s, Hunter took off full-force. sure to jazz. If our mission succeeds, native to the suit-and-tie club After a short stint of playing on that says you have to be wellthe streets in Europe, Hunter to-do and super-intellectual to r e t u r ne d ho m e a n d j oi ne d understand jazz music,” Hunter forces w ith renow ned pol itsaid. “We’re jazz musicians, but ica l rapper, M ichael Fra nt i, we’re jazz musicians from [your] f irst as a duo and then as part generation. That’s who we share of the group Disposable Heroes aspects of a common life with of Hiphoprisy. and that’s who we are tr ying “It wa s i nterest i ng, but – to reach.” that whole pop art scene was These days, when Hunter isn’t an overall drag,” Hunter said on the road with The Charlie about the experience. “I love pop music, but it’s a lot different when you get to sit back Hunter Trio, most recently featuring Erik Deutsch on keyboards and be on the receiving end. It was diff icult for me as an and Simon Lott on drums, or his other three current projects, artist who’s dedicated to searching for the spiritual core of he’s taking care of his two kids.

About Saturday’s upcoming show, Hunter said, “I love music to have to deal with being in a situation where the quest is in the most superf icial, consumer-driven aspects of playing Champaign. No one’s going to light themselves on f ire, but it will be lots of fun. One of my oldest friends is the recording industry.”

After separating from the group in 1993 to pursue his love a professor there and I look forward to hanging out with for jazz, Hunter formed The Charlie Hunter Trio with two him. Give him a shout out for me. BIG PROPS to Tom old friends. Obtaining a weekly Tuesday night slot at the Elbo Ginsburg, ow ner of probably the best v inyl col lect ion Room in San Francisco, the Trio was discovered by Prawn in Champaign.”

Check out The Charlie Hunter Trio (and the infamous guitar) at the CanSong Records, spinning off their first album, self-titled, in 1994. Since his takeoff, Hunter has evolved his group into opy Club Saturday, Sept. 2 for an early show at 7 p.m. with doors opening a quartet, a quintet, and back into a trio, rotating members, at 6:30 p.m. Tickets are $15 in advance and $17 at the door. buzz IN

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MOST TOILETS FLUSH IN E FLAT.

Champaign-Urbana Sound Revue

MIKE INGRAM • STAFF WRITER

This year’s Midwest Music Summit in Indianapolis was another success, and featured several Champaign-Urbana bands. Over the three days, badge-wearers and other festival patrons were able to see performances by Headlights, elsinore, Cameron McGill and the Quartet Offensive, the Elanors, Lorenzo Goetz, Tractor Kings and Shipwreck.

Check out midwestmusicsummit.com for more info and several downloads from great bands.

Speaking of music festivals, the second annual Pygmalion Music Festival is set to kick off on Wednesday, Sept. 20 until Saturday, Sept. 23. Last year’s festival brought bands and fans from all over the US, and garnered press from the mighty Pitchfork!

What might this year’s bring, you ask? Well, check out pygmalionmusicfestival.com for the full schedule.

2006 CU Music Awards “Best Live Band” winner elsinore played a free Courtyard show last Thursday to welcome students to the neighborhood.

The show also featured local favorites Shipwreck, a drummer-less Watery Domestic, and Ohtis. Said one fan: “Wow.” You can catch elsinore this Saturday at the Cowboy Monkey, with Darrin Drda, Lovely Houses and Gentleman Caller. Check out elsinoremusic.com for more info, or find them on Myspace and friend them. You know you want to. The friend count is what it’s all about.

Headlights’ new Polyvinyl release, Kill ‘em With Kindness is now out for you to purchase. They kicked

9

Cameron McGill: Here to silence you

off a few months of touring the country with a CD release show at the Canopy Club last Sunday. The Living Blue and Decibully also appeared. You can catch Headlights in CU again at the Pygmalion Festival. See how we’ve come full-circle?

For those of you who decided not to brave the rainy weather on Saturday, you missed truncated sets and wacky antics at the Urbana Sweetcorn Festival. Sets by Lorenzo Goetz, the Living Blue, Tractor Kings, and Doxi [formerly Soultro (formerly Doxy)] went off with many hitches. Amid leaky stage roofs, scattered showers, butter-covered hands, electrocution jokes, and the chance of being out-danced, the bands took the stage and still managed to rock downtown Urbana. Unconfirmed reports that Lindsay Lohan was riding a bike around the festival were shot down when Beauty Shop drummer Creech removed his giant sunglasses.

Tonight you can catch an awesome rock show at the Canopy Club featuring Triple Whip, Bellcaster, and Oceans (9 p.m., $5), or you could head over to the Cowboy Monkey and sing karaoke with Champaign’s own Live Karaoke Band (10 p.m., $5). That’s right, a real band plays and you sing. Check out livekaraokeband.com for more info and sexy pictures.

Friday’s best bets: Happy hour at Cowboy Monkey with local world-beat favorite Desafinado (5:30 p.m., free) and Lorenzo Goetz at the Illini Union Courtyard Cafe (9 p.m., $5). Downtown will be abuzz with Dress Code at Mike n Molly’s, and a hot show featuring the Great Crusades (ex-Suede Chain), the Greedy Loves and Lanterna (10 p.m., $5).

Saturday: elsinore w/ Lovely Houses, Gentleman Caller and Darrin Drda at the Cowboy Monkey (9 p.m., $5) is a great call, as is the Reds’ show (featuring Kayla Brown) at the IMC at 9 p.m.

Sunday: One of the great CU songwriters, Cameron McGill, returns home for an Iron Post show with a string quartet, and opener Matt Hopper (10 p.m., $5).

Mike Ingram has been a musician and booking agent in the CU scene for several years, and has learned the hard way not to sniff Seth Fein’s fingers when asked. You can reach him at forgottenwords@gmail.com to pass on hot show news and the like. If you think you can come up with a better title for his column, let him know. He will sing your praises in this very column.

PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.CAMERONMCGILL.COM

Cameron McGill captivates his audiences simply with a guitar and harmonica.

MIKE INGRAM • STAFF WRITER

A couple of week s ago I saw someth i ng incredible. While wandering around from venue to venue at the Midwest Music Summit, I made a note to stop by Cameron McGill’s solo show. Little did I know that he had more than just a solo show planned for Indianapolis.

McGill had brought along a string quartet dubbed the Quartet Offensive. In a short time, he managed to silence an entire crowd full of industry folks, music lovers, and members of other Summit bands by playing songs about the best and the worst of human nature. Songs about love, loss and what it means to be an American today. Each song poured over the silent stricken crowd by a man who looked like he’d dropped in from the Depression for a visit.

When McGill had finished pouring himself into the six songs he quietly said his thanks.

The crowd erupted into a standing ovation that

did not feel obligatory (as most do these days) but rather necessary.

McGill has been turning heads for years by writing songs that tear listeners apart with every note. Armed with only a guitar and a harmonica, he will sing you songs that might very well change your life. While touring the country as the opener and guitarist for Rachael Yamagata in 2004, he appeared with her on Late Night with Conan O’Brien, the Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn, and the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Recent fullband appearances as Cameron McGill & What Army include SXSW, CMJ, Summerfest and Lollapalooza. Each appearance became a buzz show that everyone talked about. McGill has played all across the nation. Whether it’s to a crowd of hundreds or a crowd of four, it always ends with the same captivating result. The reason is simple: he has an amazing voice and writes beautiful melodies over great progressions.

At a ridiculously crowded basement party, I once saw him unplug his guitar and walk into the crowd mid-song — without missing a beat — to many awestruck fans. He finished the song while walking amongst the room full of kids drinking box-wine. When he was done, people seemed afraid to break the silence with applause. This is the type of musician that we need right now. This is the type of musician we need to usher us away from the Ashlees and the Fergies.

Cameron McGill and the Quartet Offensive will be appearing at the Iron Post in Urbana on Sunday, Sept. 3. See him now before the rest of the nation catches on and takes him away.

Also appearing is Alaskan sensation Matt Hopper. This will be an early stop on the pair’s “Troubadours with Tourettes” tour, which will take them from the Midwest to the West Coast, and everywhere between. Start time is 10 p.m. and the cover, amazingly, is only $5. And please, be quiet. You can listen to Cameron McGill at: www.cameronmcgill.com or www.myspace.com/ cameronmcgill and Matt Hopper at: www.matthopper.com or www.myspace.com/matthopper.

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THE FIRST ESKIMO BIBLE WAS PRINTED IN COPENHAGEN IN 1744.

PA Rentals • Lessons • Repairs Celebrating 100 years of Building Community at UIUC

Women’s Club

University of Illinois at Urbana – Champaign

Join us at our Fall Sign Up Krannert Center Main Lobby Friday, September 1st 11:00 – 1:00 PM

Join our Club and enjoy any or all of our 26 Interest Groups!

Newcomers, Antiques, Movies, Wine Lovers, Golf, Languages, Walking, Lunch, Parent – Child Playgroup, and many more…

Closest stores to campus • Largest selection in C-U We will match or beat ANYONE’S price!

www.corsonmusic.com

71 E. University Avenue • Champaign (217) 352 - 1477

New members always welcome! http://www.UIUCWomensClub.org

work er

•

S e p t e m b e r 6 , 2 oo 6

Spin it round, flip it, and reverse it: Is Sexy Back?

CARLYE WISEL AND BRIAN MCGOVERN • STAFF WRITERS

He goes by the name of Justin, and wow, he is back and brought Sexy with him. Sure, Justin was out of the lime light for a while, leaving “Mrs. Timberlake” t-shirts passé and our radios void of white dance music, but did Sexy go anywhere? This week Caryle and Brian will tackle the hard question ...

Is Sexy Back?

Carlye: Hell no

A u g u s t 31

Oh , J T. M ay be you’re bringing sexy back for your own self — I mean, for God’s sake, anything you wear, say, or do is a significant improvement on your ‘NSYNC peroxide blond Corey Matthews-esque curls — but in general? You don’t have that great of an impact. Sexy is nowhere near coming back.

Allow me to explain.

If you are a girl, or if you are a boy who has been outside your apartment over the past week, odds are you’ve seen this, well, shocking new fashion trend. Oh, which one, you ask?

Gigantic chain necklaces with locks and keys on them? No, not that one. Pirate stripes that make every girl look like a convict? Nope. I’m not even going to rag on that one either. Ready for it? Leggings. Yes, frickin’ LEGGINGS. I ... I don’t even know where to start. They’re skin-tight, hideously unflattering, and exactly what I wore to Ms. Kramer’s second grade class every single day. But, for some reason out of my control, I self-admittingly and embarrassingly love them. As I sit here, typing in a new pair of heather-gray ones, I’m forced to say sexy is nowhere near back. Maybe a few months down

the road when we shake our heads yet again at another fugly clothing mistake, it’ll be back.

But for now? As long as these are in, sexy is out. Sorry, Justin.

Brian: Hell yes Except maybe being naked, music is tied to sex more than anything. Since the pr imordial sands of time began to shift, the two have been connected. Music fuels emotions and emotions fuel sex. Sex affects our emotions which then create music. Guitars are strummed and snares are drummed because of: a) not getting any b) getting it good and plenty c) as a means of social protest (which is needed because of sexually repressed nerds in powerful positions taking out their frustration via unjust policies) It’s a direct relation that’s hard to ignore: as long as there is music, there will be sex. Thus, sexy will reign. Miles Davis made love to his trumpet by creating sonic intercourse with our ears. Mick Jaeger screamed, “You’d make a dead man cum,” to the woman that started him up.

Most recently, Nelly Furtado made listeners dizzy with her musical promiscuity.

In short, screw you, Justin Timberlake! Whether it’s JT’s grimy beats, Leslie Feist’s love songs or Christopher Cross’ near mediocre ballads, any song is capable of putting the fire in us. Sexy was never gone and it can never go away ... unless Switchfoot has another album. That’ll keep me from being aroused ever again.

WHAT THE HELL?! moment of the week

British indie stars Bloc Party are touring America this fall, bringing their banquet of angular guitars and soaring choruses to a major city near you. But before you sound your silent alarms in joy, take a closer look at the other artists scheduled with the recipients of the 2005 Plug Awards’ Indie Rock Album of the Year. In what might be the oddest tour pairing of the year, the Party will tragically be opening for sinful songwriters Panic! At the Disco, and while in some circles it may be better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality, I just feel like eating glass. WTF.

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IMRAN SIDDIQUEE • STAFF WRITER

Sound the alarms: Bloc Party to tour with Panic!

At the Disco.

sounds from the scene

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IT IS AGAINST THE LAW TO WHALE HUNT IN OKLAHOMA.

11

album REVIEW

album REVIEW

BILLY TALENT

KEANE

CARLYE WISEL

Under the Iron Sea

W hen I was a sophomore in high school, I took an art history class in a room so tiny that there was only one table. Diagonally across from me sat a boy — he was a senior, he was hilarious, and he was quite possibly one of the most attractive guys I’d ever seen in my life.

His name was Keane, and he was undeniably frickin’ hot. Of course, my class crush fizzled by the end of the semester when I realized he would never go for a gangly, brace-faced fifteen-year-old, but he is still the first thought that comes to mind when I think of the band that shares the same name.

The second thought, however, pertains to the album Under the Iron Sea. Keane’s indie rock-pop sound has a breezy lightness to it, yet in no way puts you to sleep. Most of the time, artists of the same genre bore the hell out of me, but Keane f inds a way to keep up the energ y while simultaneously building dream-like melodies with sleepily calming vocals. “Leaving So Soon?” and “Is it Any Wonder?” are poetic and upbeat, and even though there isn’t a single bad track, “Broken Toy” is a standout favorite, with dissonant, ringing vocals that are so audibly interesting, you almost have to put it on repeat.

COURTESY OF WWW.AMAZON.COM

[Atlantic]

AMY MEYER • STAFF WRITER

Benjamin Kowalewicz, lead singer of the Canadian band Billy Talent, sings in a high-pitched voice that if heard alone would be overbearing. However, when coupled with his band’s ripping guitar riffs and powerful backup vocals, Kowalewicz doesn’t sound half-bad. Actually, Billy Talent II, the band’s second release, is nothing short of a great record.

The album starts off with a grand guitar solo that leads into a perfect blend of music bet ween the four band mates. The second track, “Red Flag,” is the f irst single off the record, with a chanting, f ist pumping chorus.

The new record is not a huge departure from their f irst a lbum Billy Talent, but there is def inite improvement in variety and playing ability. The overall result is an album that lacks the need to use the skip button.

“Our goal was to make a better solid record from start to finish and every song to be good, but unique and different,” said Kowalewicz.

Album standouts include “Perfect World,” “Pins and Needles,” “Where is the Lines?,” “Surrender” ... in fact, it’s hard to pinpoint the best tracks, considering the whole album is so good.

An obvious key to the band’s success together is their genuine character. “We’re nice guys. We’re all very morally grounded, conscious people. We care about our fans and the people around us,” said Kowalewicz, “The overall message [of our music] is to respect each other, listen to each other and respect each other’s differences and just be a good person.”

With unique vocals, powerful instrumentals and genuine personalities, it’s all in the name; Billy has a lot of talent.

[Interscope]

COURTESY OF WWW.AMAZON.COM

II

• STAFF WRITER

Time to pack a lunch!

5.

$ 49

sounds from the scene

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Where is the spontaneity? I’ll tell you where it is — it’s underground, buried by the set list. Sure it’s fun to have seductively snagged that sheet of paper from Lucky Boys Confusion one of the 48 times they came to campus last year, but beyond a scribbled-on souvenir, it is only a ball and chain.

Lectures/Discussions Gallery Conversation [With David Svensson for the exhibition SpaceLight.] Krannert Art Museum, 8pm “High Noon with Joan Stolz” [Galler y talk with faculty member Joan Stolz about ar t exhibits at Parkland.]

Parkland Ar t Galler y, 12pm

Dancing Tango Dancing [Lesson at 7:30pm, followed by tango dancing from 810:30pm. Salsa dancing until 2am.] Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, no cover

LKB has over 200 songs you can spring on them without warning. From The Kinks, to Outkast, to Sheryl Crow, it’s all there. The end goal is 800, but if you check out their Web site, www.livekaraokeband.com, you can see for yourself that there’s enough to hold almost anyone over. With no set list, no lead singer, and no idea what the night will bring, the Live Karaoke Band will perform at Cowboy Monkey in downtown Champaign. It’s kara-OK by me!

Build date: 8.14.06 Closing date: 8.24.6 QC: RR

Karaoke Creative Karaoke American Legion Post 71 8pm, free Recreation Learn to Play Pinochle Hays Recreation Center, 1pm

SAT. SEP 2 Live Bands Dennis Stroughmatt Iron Post 6pm, $4 Charlie Hunter Canopy Club 7pm, $15

Ad Name: Jekyll - Let Yourself Out Item #: PJH20068385 Publication: The Buzz

Job # 547959

Trim: 2.458 x 11 Bleed: None Live: 2.208 x 10.75

–Brian McGovern

FRI. SEP 1 Live Bands Billy Galt Live at Blues BBQ Blues Barbecue, 11:30am The Prairie Dogs Iron Post 5pm, free Desfinado Cowboy Monkey 5:30pm, $2 Dress Code, The Plus Ones Mike ‘N Molly’s, 9pm, $5 Caleb Cook Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Lorus, Sleeping Sergio Tonic, 9pm, $3 The Great Crusades, The Greedy Loves, Laterna Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 Wasteoid Workforce, Johnnyork Iron Post, 10pm, cover

Psychopomp, The Villens, The Feramones, The Anti-Social End Iron Post, 7pm, $5 Candy Foster and the Shades of Blue Alto Vineyards 7:30pm, $3 Reds at Stitches [Ages 21+ BYOB with ID.] Independent Media Center 9pm $2 cover Miami Heat Latin Jazz w/ Carlos Vega, Leigh Meador Organ Trio Courtyard Cafe 9pm, $3 student/$4 public Elsinore, Darrin Drda Cowboy Monkey, 9:30pm, $5 Concerts The Charlie Hunter Trio Canopy Club, 7pm, $15 in advance/$17 Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s, 9pm

SUN. SEP 3 Live Bands Crystal River Band [Listen and dance to

country, rock, oldies and alternative music.] Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm Robbie Fulks Highdive 9:30pm, $10 in advance/$12 Big Sky Stringband Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 Miscellaneous “The Great Clash” [Ippatsu Salon and Soma team up to bring you a benefit fashion show that smashes up glam rock, punk, country and hip-hop styles for costuming, hair, dance and body art.] Soma, 8pm, $10 in advance/$15

MON. SEP 4 Live Bands MRS Trio Iron Post, 6pm, $2 Michael Davis [Singer, keyboardist] Bentley’s Pub, 7pm Cameron McGill and Matt Hopper Weft 90.1 FM 10pm, free

DJ DJ DELAYNEY [Hip-hop/Soul] Barfly, 10pm

TUE. SEP 5 Live Bands Billy Galt Live at Blues BBQ Blues Barbecue, 11:30am Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm Treologic Canopy Club, 9pm free DJ Subversion: Industrial/ Darkwave Highdive 10pm-2am DJs Hoff and Bambino [Hard rock/Punk] Mike ‘N Molly’s 10pm DJ Tremblin BG Barfly, 10pm Dancing Subversion [Industrial/EBM/ darkwave dance party. 19+ with ID.] The Highdive, 10pm

David Svensson/SpaceLight [This is the first U.S. museum presentation of the work of emerging Swedish artist David Svensson, who draws from the modernist aesthetic in joining the practices of art and design.

Seven glowing sculptural works will be exhibited in the glass-walled link between the museum and the School of Art and Design. Following the exhibition on the University of Illinois campus, the I space gallery in Chicago will exhibit a site-specific film work by Svensson for the I space windows.]

Krannert Art Museum beginning Aug. 31 through Oct. 22

Lectures/discussions “From Plastics to Nanoscience: The Second Chemical Revolution” [Director of the National Center for Design of Biomimetic Nanoconductors Eric Jakobsson will give a brief presentation and then answer questions.]

Verde Gallery Cafe 7pm, free Recreation Learn to Play Pinochle Hays Recreation Center, 1pm Meetings Book Collector’s Club-The No. 44 Society [This club provides an opportunity for novice and experienced book collectors to get together and share information and ideas.] Rare Book & Manuscript Library, 4pm Champaign-Urbana Herb Society [Florrie Wescoat will speak on “Natural Garden Design.”] Urbana Free Library, 7pm

Beyond Words: A Dialogue Between Friends [Works by Sylvia Arnstein & Mark Corrodi] Verde Gallery through Sept. 9

“Heart of the Sun” by Hua Nian

IMAGE COURTESY OF WWW.DAVIDSVENSSON.NET

WED. SEP 6

DJ Chef Ra [Roots/Reggae] Barfly 10pm

PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.LOUISVILLE-REDCROSS.ORG

The Live Karaoke Band, formed two years ago, must have also been disenchanted with the set list. It appears they are disenchanted with any sort of planning at all.

They just wait on stage for someone to walk up and tell them what song to play. The kicker is that they are waiting for you — yes, you! To Live Karaoke Band you’re some sort of Elijah who will ride back from heaven on the fiery chariot of Israel that took him away long ago, or something like that. Whether you’re a famous prophet or a nameless miscreant, Live Karaoke Band wants to make you look good. They want to be there as you make rock history, or just make an ass of yourself.

Film Reel Deal Film Series “Cars” Virginia Theatre, 7pm $2 tickets

Live Bands Irish Traditional Music Session Bentley’s Pub 7pm, free Zoo Improv Iron Post 8pm, $4 Hotter Than June, Yesterday’s Reunion, Buffalino, TV Mike Canopy Club, 9pm, $7

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Jillian’s Billiards Club 9pm, free Live Karaoke Band Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5

Live Karaoke Band

Significant Fires and Emergencies in Illinois History [Illinois has been home to some of the worst disasters in United States history. Numerous fires, accidents and other major emergencies have cost billions of dollars, destroyed vast amounts of property, and claimed thousands of lives. Yet some good has come from the tragedies highlighted in this exhibit. Lessons learned from these events have led to increased and improved fire codes and regulations, fire protection systems, and fire prevention outreach efforts.

Furthermore, knowledge gained from these disasters has contributed to the development and enhancement of modern emergency response procedures and practices and has advanced fire and emergency training techniques as a whole. The exhibit also documents the history of the Illinois Fire Service Institute, the state fire academy on the Urbana campus, and the annual Illinois Fire College, the oldest continuous fire college in the country.]

Main Library Building, 1408 W. Gregory Dr., Aug. 31

“Sun Blind” by David Svensson Speed Sketchings and Paper Tearing Artworks by Hua Nian [Hua Nian is an active exhibiting artist and art instructor in Champaign-Urbana. Her paintings appear in international and national art exhibitions, winning awards at local, state and national shows.]

Pages for All Ages through Sept. 30 Cosmic Consciousness: The Work of Robert Bannister [Born in 1911 this outsider artist, a native of Urbana, spent his early years convalescing in a local sanitarium. Later stricken with anemia, he left the home of foster grandparents in 1950 to enter the Champaign County Nursing Home, where an occupational therapist introduced him to carving and drawing. After his release in 1961, he lived in one room near West Side Park, painting, drawing and writing works that are meditations on human life tinged with humor and a self-proclaimed “cosmic consciousness.”]

Krannert Art Museum through Oct. 15 Surrealist Interventions: Selections from Krannert Art Museum and the University of Illinois Library [This exhibition pairs Surrealist paintings, photographs, prints and drawings from the Krannert Art Museum collection with the movement’s experiments in print culture, from manifestos and single-page tracts to elaborately designed serials and limited-edition books on loan from the UI Library.

Collaboration across media and continual reinvention in the face of controversy have contributed to Surrealism’s reputation as one of the most vital and enduring avantgarde practices of the twentieth century.]

Krannert Art Museum through Dec. 31

Trim: 2.458 x 11 Bleed: None Live: 2.208 x 10.75

PHOTOS COURTESY OF WWW.LIVEKARAOKEBAND.COM

Dancing Beginner Tango [Tango Beginner Express six-week course with Ron & Susana.]

Phillips Recreation Center 8:30pm, $40

How would it feel to honestly say you’ve saved someone’s life? Find out! The Central Illinois Chapter of the American Red Cross is looking for volunteers for their disaster relief program. Their goal is to provide basic aid and humanitarian support to victims of local disasters. The program gives volunteers the chance to work within the areas of mass care, family services, logistics, mental health and more. Not to worry, volunteers are thoroughly trained to respond immediately in any situation. If this is something you are interested in, contact Melissa Hengoed at 351-5861. Advancement opportunities are available. One day you may even be eligible to respond to disasters across the country and world. So go on, get active.

art & theater

Lectures/Discussions “The Making of a Torturer” [Award-winning journalist and University of Illinois alumnus John Conroy speaks about the use of torture by ordinary people in democracies around the world.] Law School Auditorium, 12pm

VISIT WWW.CUCALENDAR.COM FOR THE MOST CURRENT EV ENTS AND TO ADD YOUR OWN.

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August 31, 10 p.m.

Cowboy Monkey, $5

DJ Zen Thursdays: DJ Asiatic, Soma, 9pm, free Will Rogers DJ’s Country [Country, Southern rock and more.] Chief’s Bar and Grill, 9pm

American Red Cross Disaster Relief Program

Job # 547959

Live Karaoke Band

Live Bands Millish Iron Post, 7pm, cover Rob Szabo Aroma Cafe 8pm, free Flathead 6 Mike ‘N Molly’s 8:30pm, $2 Oceans, Horns of Happiness, Bellcaster, Triple Whip Canopy Club, 9pm, $5 Tim Green Quartet Zorba’s Restaurant, 9:30pm, $3

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s, 9pm Karaoke with Randy Miller Bentley’s Pub 9:30pm, free

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stage, screen & i n b e t w e e n

ARTWORK BY PROFS

The annual Parkland Art & Design Faculty Exhibition invites CU to see and hear what the artists have to say.

DAN BRUNNER • STAFF WRITER

F

or members of the Champaign-Urbana community and students of the University of Illinois, Parkland Community College might not be a frequent destination.

Perhaps, one might enroll in the occasional class and just assume that the events occurring on Parkland’s campus are primarily for their students. Yet Parkland, for the past 25 years, has maintained its art gallery with the intention of showing the community what progress their program is making.

Every year, the Parkland Art Gallery holds eight exhibitions that showcase contemporary work produced by students, faculty and professionals. From now until Sept. 21, the gallery will be holding their yearly faculty exhibition, which is free to the public. The exhibit will feature various mediums of art including painting, ceramics, metals and graphic design. With works from approximately 20 studio art and design faculty members, the exhibit houses art that mirrors the spectrum of curriculum content, while also allowing teachers to express themselves as artists.

According to the program’s director Lisa Costello, “The exhibit hopes to achieve three key goals. We want to assist locals artists, educate the community about different art and different perspectives, and promote the styles and techniques that the students are learning about in classes.”

The gallery will be open weekdays Monday through Friday from 10:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m., Monday through Thursday nights from 6:00 to 8:00 p.m. and on Saturdays from 12:00 to 2:00 p.m.

In addition to seeing what art instructors are currently producing, guests can attend four lectures that offer an in-depth exploration of how four of these faculty members relate to their medium. The “High Noon with The Artists” series occurs on four different Thursdays throughout the exhibition’s run.

PHOTOS COURTESY OF CHRISTINA LEUNG

Kelly White’s “Petra” / oil on canvas / 2005 On Aug. 31, Joan Stolz will be giving a lecture on what she paints. “I’m attracted by the anthropomorphic aspects of dogs,” she explains. “Their ability to make friends and enemies, their abilit y to f ind a regular cool spot to rest dur ing the hottest par t of the day, and their abi l it y to amuse themselves.”

On Sept. 7, Don Lake will elaborate on his watercolor pieces which he describes as “part of a body of work done while in England and in my studio since my return. The work is watercolor, my primary medium for three decades.”

During Chris Berti’s Sept. 14 lecture, he will discuss his ceramics and sculpture work with stone.

Berti will detail his creative process, which relates to how stones and rocks erode and can be great organic materials to create sculptures of animals and everyday items.

The last High Noon talk will occur Sept. 21, in which Peggy Shaw will discuss her alternative style of photography. She uses unique materials to frame her intriguing black and white photos.

Those who at tend w i l l lea r n how her pieces investigate the ways texture and colors impact a photograph.

These lectures are open to the public and can offer valuable insight for local artists, but also are informative for those who might not be as involved in art. The Parkland Art Gallery is celebrating its 25th Anniversary and

Derek Dallas from Champaign and five-year-old Finn admire the art works at the 2006 Parkland Art & Design Faculty Exhibition on Thursday, Aug. 24.

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greatly appreciates community patronage. Having gallery exhibitions brings momentum to students in the art program, and other majors as well. Students studying everything from art history, to English as a second language, to liberal arts students will benefit from being exposed to the work on display and the weekly lectures, and allowing the community to see the range of artistic talent in CU. buzz

Marsha Daniels’ “Faceted Bowl set” / high-fired stoneware / 2004 sounds from the scene

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ARTIST’S CORNER

Joan Stolz

MEGHAN WHALEN • STAFF WRITER

Joan Stolz is an art instructor at Parkland College in Champaign. She is also an artist herself, mainly working with oil paints. “It’s very tactile,� she says. “I like the smell, the feel, the surface and the color. I like the flexibility of the medium; it’s very forgiving.� Her work will be featured in the 2006 Parkland College Art and Design Faculty Exhibition from now until Sept.

21. She will also be showing and discussing her work at a discussion at Parkland on Aug. 31.

For more information, check out http://www. parkland.edu/gallery/.

problems and how to talk about it. We try to expose the students to artists throughout history, and contemporary artists as well. I think a good teacher gives students what they need to work independently.

Why is it important, as a teacher, to exhibit your work? How are your students influenced by what they see?

All of my instructors were exhibiting artists.

How could they have any credibility if they weren’t? I think students want to see what kind of work their teachers are doing and that they’re active. Furthermore, that’s what I want for the students; that they’ll go on to show their work or go onto careers in art. We’re trying to help students become colleagues.

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Joan Stolz stands in front of her oil painting titled “Reclining Dog,� at the Parkland Art Gallery during the artist reception on Thursday, Aug. 24. Stolz said this painting took her three months to complete.

M A S O N J E N N I N G S

First of all, tell me a little bit about yourself.

How did you become interested in art?

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I remember the first time I was actually cognizant of artwork during a trip to museums with my parents; I was probably around six, and I saw a Titian. It was magical. And then right afterwards at the Museum of Modern Art, I saw a painting that was white on white and I loved it. It was those two paintings back-to-back that made me decide that being an artist was the best thing that you could be.

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Did you have teachers or mentors that encouraged your artistic talents?

In my last year of high school, I took my first real art class. John Bledsoe was a great teacher and an exhibiting artist, and he noticed that I loved the work and he thought I should pursue a career in art. It was what I always wanted to do so it was great to hear an artist say that to me. All through college, my professors were encouraging. I had a nice balance of European and American teachers.

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CHRISTINA LEUNG

I want students to learn how to see and how to think visually. It takes a long time to learn how to teach, and fortunately the other instructors here have been extremely helpful to me. Parkland is a two-year college, so I primarily teach basic skills in drawing, painting and design. Those skills involve how to use different materials, how to approach different

• PHOTOS

What does it take to become an art teacher? Is there a specific style of drawing, painting, etc. that you want your students to learn?

Joan Stolz’s “Dog Vanitas� / oil on linen / 2004

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WHAT BUZZ WRITERS ARE READIN’ Peter Alson’s Take Me to the River MATT HOFFMAN • STAFF WRITER

T

urn on the TV. Right now, sandwiched between reruns of Law and Order, there is a Texas Hold ‘Em game on the air. There may be pseudo-celebrities involved, grizzled old degenerate gamblers, or if it is the World Series of Poker (WSOP) on ESPN, probably some of both. And, they’re all losing to college kids who finance their education with PartyPoker.com.

In Take Me to the River, Peter Alson (author of Confessions of an Ivy League Bookie) relates his entry into the 2005 WSOP and adds a twist — it’s an effort to turn his publishing advance into enough funds to pay for his wedding.

Alson, a 50-year-old bachelor, life-long gambler and wellrespected poker player, is at a crossroads in his life. He has just proposed to his longt i me , on - a g a i n - of f- a g a i n girlfriend and his insecurity and selfishness is telling him that he should run. So, he runs to where he is comfortable: Las Vegas.

The stor y is truthful and sympathetic, but is really just the diary of a semi-remarkable middle-aged man struggling to accept love. Oh yeah, and there is some poker sprinkled in. Granted, the bulk of the book is a good introduction to the history of the WSOP, what is good and bad with the overhype it receives today, and who the lynchpin players are across the world. It is even a decent behind-the-scenes look into the grittier aspects of underground poker clubs. But the thrust has less to do with table action and the thought processes of effective poker play and more to do with the heart pangs of the author.

There are far better books written about poker and the

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WSOP (a fact that Alson admits), and there is ultimately little suspense or reward for staying with the tale to see if he is able to fund his wedding with his winnings when he admits early on that his decision to marry will not necessarily turn on where he places in the tournament. It’s a unique story, entertaining to be sure, but the attempt to find anything moving or aesthetic in the forced poignancy of cheese-ball sentimentality like “gambling on love” (not a quote, but might as well be) leaves the reader with the unfortunate question of “why should I care?”

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17

FILM

ALICE HUDDLESTON • STAFF WRITER

I

nvincible, the latest in Disney’s l ine of uplifting sports stories, tells the tale of an underdog who is just as ta lented as professional football players, but never had the chance to put his skills to use — until now.

Ma rk Wa h lberg st a r s a s Vi nce Papa le, a bartender living in South Philadelphia in the summer of 1976. For most of the city’s working class, including Vince, the Eagles football team is one of their only real joys, in spite of the team’s losing record. Eager to arouse some more excitement for the team, Eagles coach Dick Vermeil (Greg Kinnear) holds open tryouts for new players. After being nudged by his friends, Vince goes to the tryouts, despite having played only one year of high school football. With a bit of luck and a lot of heart, Vince makes his way onto the NFL team.

The movie is a good one, although as many sports fi lms go, the characters and plot lines are just a bit too familiar. There is the overworked coach, unsupportive family members and friends, and dramatically defi ning moments that will either make or break Vince’s shot at playing on the team. So why is an inspirational sports fl ick, like Invincible, so irresistible? If anything, perhaps it is because we like to see ordinary people break out of their humdrum lives and do something special. A story like Vince’s gives us the sense that maybe we too can become one of the greats, if presented with the chance to prove ourselves.

W h i le Inv in c ible m ay not be t he most remarkable or memorable football movie ever made, it undoubtedly lives up to its aim. It’s a feel-good sports movie that provides a couple of hours of entertainment, and that is about all we can ask for.

SNAKES ON A PLANE

WORLD TRADE CENTER

JEFF GROSS • STAFF WRITER

MRUGESH BAVDA • STAFF WRITER

I

Mark Walberg as Vince Papale in Invincible. sounds from the scene

THE WICKER MAN (PG–13) 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:30 11:50

n the 1970s, there was The Rocky Horror P icture Show. Now, for a new decade of cult moviegoers, there is Snakes On A Plane. On the heels of a massive Internet buzz, which mostly consisted of parodies, f au x- sequel t it les, a nd SoaP -i n spi red retitling of phrases (for instance, the Great Lakes become Lakes On A Plain), Snakes on a Plane f inally opened for the legions of fans who have patiently waited over a year to see it.

W ho’d have ex pected a f i l m w ith such a ridiculously simple and all-telling title as Snakes on a Plane, to actually turn out so well?

Self-aware f ilms tend to be more stupid than campy. Alas, Snakes on a Plane delivers what it promises and much, much more. On top of classic Samuel L. Jackson (and his oh-sofamous line) and a plane full of snakes, the f ilm is riddled with some great kill scenes. As Jackson himself would say, these mothaf**kin’ snakes are mothaf**kin’ vicious. They slither, leap and bite in the worse places.

The audience at the premiere I attended participated along with f ilm — with people cheering, quoting lines from the trailer and hissing along with the f ilm — much like a Rocky Horror screening (minus the drag costumes). In Arizona, someone went so far as to release live snakes into the theater.

This movie is a cult phenomenon that is not to be missed. If you haven’t seen it on the silver screen yet, do yourself a favor and go buy a ticket; see what all the ruckusssssss is about.

Samuel L. Jackson in Snakes on a Plane.

It’s passenger vs. snake in Snakes on a Plane!

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liver Stone’s World Trade Center is an emotional fi lm that honors the story of two Port Authority police officers that were trapped in the rubble of the 9/11 aftermath for 24 hours. The movie recognizes the major tragedy that has occurred and puts all politics aside to simply tell the inspiring and true account of Officers John McLoughlin (Nicolas Cage) and Will Jimeno (Micheal Pena).

The day starts at 4:29 a.m. like any other; then at 8:46 a.m., a shadow of a plane can be seen f ly ing lower into the cit y. From here, McLouglin leads his Por t Author it y off icers in an evacuation of the North Tower.

As the morning goes on, the buildings fall a nd McL oug h l i n a nd Ji meno a re bu r ied underneath.

There has been a great deal of controversy surrounding this f ilm not only because of the tragic 9/11 content, but also because Oliver Stone was attached as director. He has been known to make political movies that are often critical of the government such as JFK, Nixon and Born on the Fourth of July. Many were hoping that Stone would use his talents yet again to show how the government might have played hand in the attacks. Instead, Stone chose to show the heroic aspect and the diff iculties that both the NYPD and FDNY faced; he did not place any blame.

The cast gives overall genuine performances, but Maria Bello and Maggie Gyllenhaal who played the wives of McLoughlin and Jimeno respectively stand out. Their emotions are what br ing the aud ience to the poig na nt climax of the f ilm.

The fi lm is truly a heartfelt tribute, and brings the audience back to that unforgettable day.

PHOTOS COURTESY OF ROTTENTOMATOES.COM

INVINCIBLE

Nicholas Cage as John McLoughlin in World Trade Center.

INVINCIBLE (PG) 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:30 11:50 HOW TO EAT FRIED WORMS (PG) 1:00 3:10 5:20 7:30 9:45 11:40 BEERFEST (R) 1:45 2:00 4:20 4:50 7:10 8:05 9:50 10:30 SNAKES ON A PLANE (R) 1:00 1:30 4:00 4:30 7:00 7:30 9:40 10:00 12:01 ACCEPTED (PG–13) 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00 12:01 STEP UP (PG–13) 1:30 4:15 7:10 9:40 12:01 WORLD TRADE CENTER (PG–13) 1:45 4:25 7:10 9:55 TALLADEGA NIGHTS: THE BALLAD OF RICKY BOBBY (PG–13)

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o here we are, starting our senior year of college. Between the two of us, we have over 800 Facebook friends; therefore, we are Champaign-Urbana’s local celebrities. Due to our newfound self-proclaimed celebrity status, we figured we might as well report about it, since we are the only ones who can relate.

Well, at least us and other local celebrities, like the Ron Zook look-a-like — the man with the Bears jacket who frequents campus bars and buys drinks for baby-whores — and Cochran.

To be a bit more serious, our similarities with celebrities go beyond just being popular, cutting bar lines, and having our pictures constantly tagged on Facebook. Examples? Paris Hilton lost her cell phone, and her personal numbers were publicized all over the Internet. Chloe lost hers this weekend and panicked

that her phone book

— which includes the numbers of

Ryan ATO, Tommy Station, and Jimmy John’s — was going to be on the cover of the DI. God forbid that Jimmy John’s number gets out. Likewise, Mike is trying really hard to work on his rap career, constantly perfecting his free-style skills to the new Kevin

On Federline album. given Friday, you can wany orker spot us cruising Green Street in his silver X-Terra, blasting Steve Winwood. Also similar to K-Fed,

Mike likes to bring home trashy fat chicks that are past their prime and impregnate them.

If we really were famous, we would most l i kely rol l w it h t he most exclusive crew possible, like Tara Reid, Nicole Richie and Mel Gibson. Speak ing of celebr ities, who doesn’t get drunk and yell racial slurs at police officers, run around topless during after hours, or have an eating disorder? People who aren’t popular. That’s who.

Before we go, we’d like to leave you with some of the latest jaw from around Champaign-Urbana.

First off, for all of you P. Diddy loving suburbanites, Soma is hosting their own version of Diddy’s (we don’t know what he is currently going by) White Party tonight. We aren’t sure of the rules but we assume they involve wearing white. Don’t look for us there; we try to limit ourselves to one rapper-inspired bash a year, and let’s be honest, we were at the original one in the Hamptons.

Then on Saturday night, the University of Illinois football team kicks off another drinkinginspired season. It’s assumed that you all ran out to buy your tickets after one of the most dramatic commercials we have seen since thetruth.com campaign lined the outside of a tobacco building with thousands of body bags ... awkward.

Until next time, we’ll keep ignoring you and you keep waiting in line at the bars.

Box Office Tops!

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

INVINCIBLE TALLADEGA NIGHTS: THE BALLAD OF RICKY BOBBY LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE BEERFEST WORLD TRADE CENTER ACCEPTED SNAKES ON A PLANE STEP UP IDLEWILD BARNYARD

List courtesy of the Internet Movie Database

PHOTO COURTESY OF ROTTENTOMATOES.COM

For the weekend of August 25, 2006

“Would you like to touch my weiner?”

Jonah Hill as Sherman Schrader in Accepted which ranked six out of ten at the box office last weekend.

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S e p t e m b e r 6 , 2 oo 6

buzz weekly •

WE SHOULD ONLY CARE HOW MUCH A WOODCHUCK CHUCKS WHEN THE WOODCHUCK IS CHUCKING GRENADES.

HIDDEN GEM

GUILTY PLEASURE

F E A R L E S BRENT S ( 1 SIMERSON 993) • STAFF WRITER

M A R S AT TA C K S ! ( 1 9 9 6 ) Jack Nicholson, whose dual role in the movie includes the President of the United States and casino mogul Art Land, attributed his reason for acting in the movie Mars Attacks! to wanting a new swimming pool in his backyard.

Maybe that was a stretch, but it is somewhat inexplicable to figure how a film with countless stars and stars-to-be (director Tim Burton, Nicholson, Glenn Close, Annette Bening, Pierce Brosnan, Danny DeVito, Martin Short, Jack Black, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michael J. Fox, Natalie Portman, and even Tom Jones) could be so ridiculous — but it undoubtedly is. The movie follows the lives of several unrelated people as they encounter the first contact with extra-terrestrial beings. The aliens, which are a witty bunch, begin besetting mayhem across the world. With the military gone and the government in ruins, it is now the job of this long list of movie stars to bring back order to this cinematic absurdity.

WARNER

Fearless is truly an underrated movie, a victim of Hollywood’s early ’90s obsession with mindless action thrillers such as Die Hard and Terminator II: Judgment Day. Not to wholly criticize these flicks, but this moving film by Peter Weir (Dead Poets Society,The Truman Show), explores a man’s struggle to cope with posttraumatic illness following a deadly airliner crash, bombed in the box office and received lukewarm reviews. In the movie, Max Klein (Jeff Bridges) loses his grip on reality following the disastrous crash that killed his best friend and business partner. Max’s wife, Laura (Isabella Rossellini), becomes concerned about her husband’s welfare and unhealthy association with another crash survivor, Carla Rodrigo (Rosie Perez). The pace of the film, which is quite slow in the middle, builds momentum in its later stages and ends with a dazzlingly breath-taking sequence unparalleled by the majority of contemporary films.

19

WARNER

A u g u s t 31

– BRENT SIMERSON

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Models needed for life drawing at School of Art and Design. Hours needed 9-11:40 and 1-3:40 and 46:40 Monday- Thursday. Call 3330855 to schedul e interview. classes begin Aug 23rd.

Part-Time Help Needed SUPERVALU Inc. is currently hiring for part-time order selectors in its warehouse.

Starting pay is $12.41/hr. Applicants must be available to work at least 12 hrs/week; 8 hrs must be on Saturday or Sunday.

Employees may schedule up to 40 hrs/week.

Order selectors are responsible for the timely selection of full case quantities of product for delivery to retail operations. In this physically demanding position, selectors lift 175 lbs throughout the shift.

Prior to employment, applicants must satisfactorily complete physical ability testing and a drug screen. Applicants must be at least 18 years of age for consideration.

Interested candidates may pick up a position profile at our Guard House (2nd entrance off Lincoln Ave.). Applications must be completed online.

About SUPERVALU Inc. Supervalu, a Fortune 100 company, is the nation’s leading food distributor and 3rd largest food retailer. Its holdings include W. Newell & Co., Advantage Logistics, Save-A-Lot, and corporate retail stores (i.e.- Jewel Osco, Cub Foods, Albertsons). It employs 200,000 and has annual revenues of $44 billion.

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21

the stinger kim rice & kate ruin DOIN’ IT WELL

jonesin CROSSWORD PUZZLE

“I’m Allergic to This Puzzle�

Across 1 Start for cab or cure 5 Line before W 9 Criticize severely 14 Valhalla boss 15 Former WWE wrestler Rena ___, aka Sable 16 TV repairman’s focus, maybe 17 Accumulation under the bed that some may avoid?

19 Buggies, in Birmingham 20 “The Constant Gardener� novelist John le ___ 21 ___ Shinrikyo (Japanese cult in 1995 news) 23 Infantrymen, for short 24 Constipation remedy that some may avoid?

28 Sole residences?

29 1999 Reese Witherspoon movie 30 P.O. boxes, e.g.

31 Blow up, like photos: abbr.

32 ___ bran 33 Audience section that some people may avoid?

39 ___ Harbour, Fla. 40 “Cat ___ Hot Tin Roof�

41 Trade organization formed in 1958 43 Stuck, like a ship in the Arctic 46 Award Richard Burton never won 48 European city that some may avoid?

50 Day planner divs.

51 Not ___ long shot

52 Up to 53 Reno request 55 Natural vitamin store supplement that some may doubly avoid?

59 Catcher of a certain kind of fish 60 Emit light, like some pointers 61 Interlockable toy 62 How ironic humor is expressed 63 Words to Brutus 64 Former Mariner and Ranger, to fans Down 1 Group of whales 2 Ivy League URL ending 3 Reveal, as medical information

4 Fuel opening 5 Handy or Hefty 6 Squalid site, maybe 7 Coffee server 8 Long journey 9 Papa Roach genre 10 Hemingway’s collection “In ___ Time�

11 Samuel Barber movement “for Strings�

12 Ape or human 13 Chuck 18 Super Mario ___ 22 7UP, in old ads (with “The�)

24 Google competitor 25 Chain known for butter pecan syrup 26 Little kid’s words after cleaning his plate 27 What a link leads to 31 It gets delivered at the end 34 The Bible’s first victim 35 Throwing around wealth and prominence 36 Phrase in some wedding invitations 37 Company that pulls products off the shelves 38 Breed young animals, like a sheep 42 Yip or yelp 43 More gross 44 Breaking the bank 45 Not up to snuff 46 “...___ take arms against a sea of troubles...�

47 Julia Ormond title character with a “Sense of Snow� in a 1997 film 49 ___ de mots (“in a few words,� in French) 50 “That was close!�

54 Brooks behind “Blazing Saddles�

56 “Put some meat on those bones!�

57 It may get stroked 58 Yes, to a mime Answers pg. 22

In the same bed...

Drugs and sex

I

t feels good!� “It creates a ‘bond’ between me and the people I’m doing it with.� “It helps me relax. It’s a form of stress relief.� “It gets me high. It gets me off.� “My first time was in high school ... I was curious, and it was fun!�

Above are some reasons people list for why they have sex and why they do drugs. However, the reasons why people “do it� aren’t the only things drugs and sex share in common.

Depending on the type of sex and the type of drug, some of the health risks are the same (hepatitis and HIV transmission). Some of the emotional and social risks are also similar: increased vulnerability, impact on reputation and embarrassment (like being featured in a picture in Booze News or on someone’s Myspace.com page).

And while we’re examining similarities between drugs and sex, let’s not forget the Bush administration approach to both: “Just Say No!�

Simplistic slogans like this are totally insulting because they don’t address the complexity of the lives we live, our autonomy as individuals, or the options and resources we may or may not have.

Here at Doin’ It Well, we aren’t big on judging people for how they have sex or what they use when they’re doin’ it. Our main priorities are safety, consent and, of course, pleasure!

Sometimes people worry about what others are thinking, but in our experience, we’ve found that most of us judge our actions and ourselves more harshly than others do.

And because we’re our own worst critics, it’s easy to allow the use of drugs to facilitate sex, or vise versa. The best example? The bar scene, one of the hottest pick-up places in any college town.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing — sometimes substances help us finally get up the courage to talk to that hottie we’ve been eyeing all night. A drink may make us feel more socially relaxed and comfortable, allowing us to interact with more ease or confidence.

But while substances like alcohol lower inhibitions, it may also give us “permission� to take risks we may not normally take, or do things we might not do when sober. There are also lesser risks of coming off slobbering or incoherent if we’ve had too much. Or, depending on the substance involved, even though it helped us “get up� the courage to make an advance, courage may be the only thing we’re able to “get up� in bed. Alcohol interferes with the ability of both sexes to get hard and get off.

Have you ever made sexual decisions while drunk or high that you normally wouldn’t make while sober? Do you find that this happens more

“

often than you’d like? Do you feel bad, upset or guilty about it? Many people have.

If so, what would it be like to re-examine the situation from a sex-positive perspective?

Are you using drugs/alcohol in sexual situations because you don’t feel comfortable with what you’re doing?

Consider exploring the ways in which you don’t feel comfortable and why that is.

Most of us grew up with very shaming messages about pleasure and sex. By un-learning these messages we can begin to feel more comfortable with our sexual selves, and this may lessen the need to use while getting off. At that point, you may be able to explore a more intimate connection with your partner(s) that isn’t possible when you’re messed up. You may also experience more intense physical pleasure, particularly if your drug of choice is alcohol, which reduces sensation in both men and women (it’s a sex depressant).

SEX 411 Safer Sex When Drunk or High •

•

•

•

Be realistic with yourself and be prepared. Even if you “know� it’s best not to fuck while fucked up, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

Always have condoms.

Think about what your boundaries are beforehand. What amount of drugs/ alcohol are you comfortable using?

What sexual acts are you comfortable doing and not doing? How will you communicate these boundaries to your partner(s)?

Come prepared (no pun intended)!

Don’t assume your date is going to provide the safer-sex options. Stock up on the safer sex goods like lubrication and condoms before you go out. Many drugs dehydrate the body (especially alcohol).

Lube is especially important!

Negotiate. What if you find yourself without safer sex supplies and you’re still going to get it on? Some activities are safer than others when it comes to sexually transmitted infections like HIV. For example, it’s MUCH lower risk to have oral sex than to have anal or vaginal sex. Negotiate lower-risk activities with your partner(s).

Kim Rice and Kate Ruin are professional sex educators. Get your sex question featured in the buzz by writing to us at riceandruin@yahoo.com

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buzz weekly

I WISH YOU WERE A BEER.

A u g u s t 31

•

S e p t e m b e r 6 , 2 oo 6

free will astrology AUG. 31 — SEP. 6 ARIES

March 21 – April 19

The Weekly World News suggests that we celebrate a new holiday this week, National Hate Day. For 24 hours, it would be socially acceptable to drain off the rancid opinions, bitter spleen, and sickening ideas we’ve been hoarding. While every sign of the zodiac can profit from this massive purge of psychic pus, no one has as much need or would experience more healthful benefits than you Aries. For best results, add a touch of humor to your howls, and don’t you dare actually hurt anyone. Screaming gibberish into a lavender-scented pillow is especially recommended.

T A U RU S

April 20 – May 20

“In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts,” wrote American essayist Ralph Waldo Emerson.

“They come back to us with a certain alienated majesty.”

The first part of your assignment, Taurus, is to identify other people’s brilliant creations that remind you of good ideas of your own that you’ve failed to develop. The second part of your assignment is to do something--anything!--to correct for your neglect. Get started on your own masterpiece.

GEMINI

May 21 – June 20

In 1957, when Melba Patillo Beales was 15 years old, she and eight other students volunteered to be the first African Americans to integrate all-white Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas. For months, she and her cohorts were spat upon, beat up, and threatened with death by bigots. Her grandmother stayed awake all night holding a loaded shotgun, guarding the family home against assaults. Years later Beales wrote Warriors Don’t Cry, a memoir of that traumatic time.

I have a psychotherapist friend in Seattle who gives copies of this book to certain clients who are inclined to inflate their own suffering. “Read about Beales’ ordeal,” she tells them, “and you’ll feel less overwhelmed by your own problems.” That’s your assignment, Gemini. Study people whose lot in life is far worse than yours. Get some perspective.

CANCER

June 21 – July 22

Praising actor Jim Carrey at the MTV Movie Awards, Will Ferrell proclaimed “This man’s versatility makes Thomas Jefferson look like a big fat idiot.” That’s rather hyperbolic, considering that Jefferson was not only President of the United States, but also an architect, author, musician, horticulturist, lawyer, archaeologist, inventor, surveyor, and mathematician. Let’s say, to be more accurate, that Carrey is maybe five percent as versatile as Jefferson. That will help you get a realistic understanding of my meaning when I tell you that though you may not make Jim Carrey look like a big fat idiot in the coming weeks, you’ll have the potential to match his multifaceted, adaptable, puttylike resourcefulness.

SCORPIO

Oct. 23 – Nov. 21

S AG I T TA R I U S

Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

AQUA R I U S

Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

What happens to buttered toast when it accidentally falls off a table? According to folk wisdom, it’s more likely to land buttered face down, and hence create a bigger mess than if it had fallen dry side down. In a research paper published in the European Journal of Physics, Robert A. J. Matthews scientifically verified that this folk wisdom is accurate. Or at least it is when conditions are normal. But conditions are far from normal for you, Scorpio.

Cosmic assistance and good luck are flowing your way in such abundance that they’re rendering some laws of nature temporarily irrelevant. If you knock your toast off the table each morning for the next 15 days (and it’s quite possible you will, given how excitable you are), it’s not likely to ever fall butter-side down.

“If you want to upset the law that all crows are black,” wrote William James, “you mustn’t show that no crows are; it is enough if you prove one single crow to be white.” Philosopher Jonathan Zap applies this idea to his ruminations about telepathy. He says that if there is even one irrefutable case in which two minds have communicated with each other at a distance and without the aid of technology, then telepathy must be a fundamental human capacity. I believe this is an important line of thought for you to consider, Sagittarius. Why? Because you’ve entered the Season of the White Crow.

If you were at the Burning Man festival in the Nevada desert right now, you might be racing your souped-up tricycle through a miniature golf course-style maze while dressed in a superhero costume, after which you’d enjoy a sushi dinner served on the naked belly of a good-looking clown. Or maybe you’d be exploring the benefits of a short duration marriage to a temporary soulmate selected for you by a seven-year-old girl deity sitting on a neon green plastic throne surrounded by a circle of flame.

Since you’re probably not at Burning Man, however, you’ve got to find other ways to carry out your astrological mandate, which is to enjoy semi-crazy acts of liberation you’d normally never try.

“Why just ask the donkey in me to speak to the donkey in you when I have so many other beautiful animals and brilliant colored birds inside that are all longing to say something wonderful and exciting to your heart?” That’s the question Daniel Ladinsky asks in his translation of a poem by the Persian mystic poet Hafiz. I’d like you to ponder it, Aquarius. You’re in a phase when you have an exceptional ability to bring out the best and brightest in your allies. Uncoincidentally, doing that will result in your allies having a magical ability to bring out the best and brightest in you.

PISCES

LEO

July 23 – Aug. 22

When offered a choice between dueling interpretations, you should opt for elegant and generous stories over vulgar, boring, and unimaginative tales. While the no-nonsense, just-the-facts approach may seem to explain everything just fine, I assure you that there will always be catalytic enigmas lurking beneath the surface. This is one time when poet John Keats’ rule will be in full effect: “If something is not beautiful, it is probably not true.” Transcend the obvious, please. Rebel against the ravaging numbness of plain old everyday ugliness.

VIRGO

Aug. 23 – Sept. 22

LIBRA

Sept. 23 – Oct.22

Feb. 19 – March 20

If you’re alert, people whose magic you had become deadened to will reveal stirring secrets. Places you’ve visited a thousand times may seem to have undergone an overnight transformation, exposing you to a series of mini-awakenings that ultimately add up to a full-blown aha. You may find yourself penetrating to the heart of mysteries that you previously didn’t even realize were mysteries.

By week’s end, if you’re brave enough to keep welcoming the surprises, you will be ripped free from an especially sneaky illusion and reunited with a lost fragment of your soul.

Homework: Pretend in extravagant detail that your dream has come true: that you’re living the life you’ve always wanted to.

Testify at http://freewillastrology.com.

Editors at the prestigious UK medical journal Lancet have called for the legalization of LSD and other psychedelic drugs. They’re not envisioning a thousand totally buzzed freaks dancing deliriously at an outdoor festival, however. Rather, they want to make it possible for researchers to carefully explore the therapeutic benefits of altering consciousness. “The blanket ban on psychedelic drugs continues to hinder safe and controlled investigation of their potential benefits,” they said. Be inspired by their example, Virgo. What taboo is it high time for you to break in a discerning way? What inhibition no longer serves you, even though at one time it might have kept you safe and sane? What conventional wisdom based on fear has infected you, preventing you from experimenting with exciting possibilities?

I really encourage you to have a celebration. The planets are urging you to revel and rejoice, too. I wouldn’t be surprised if God Herself is rooting for you to whip up festivities worthy of a jubilee. So what are you waiting for? What? You say you don’t have anything to celebrate? I beg to differ. How about extolling the end of your addiction to a time-wasting delusion? Or maybe the loss of a “privilege” that encouraged you to be lazy, or the end of a false hope that kept you stuck in the past? How about if you throw a party to express your gratitude at finally being forced to embrace a creative limitation that will ultimately set you free?

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PUZZLE pg. 21 sounds from the scene

A u g u s t 31

•

S e p t e m b e r 6 , 2 oo 6

buzz weekly •

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buzz weekly

LOVE MEANS TELLING YOU WHY YOU’RE SORRY.

A u g u s t 31

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S e p t e m b e r 6 , 2 oo 6

LIKES AND GRIPES LET IT OUT

ANNETTE GONZALEZ Calendar editor GRIPES 1. Magazine fundraising: People have knocked on my door, stopped me on my way to class and have told me that I allegedly dropped something to get my attention. They then try to sell me an over-priced magazine subscription for points so that they may be eligible to win a trip. Thanks, but quit stalking me.

2. Running out of toilet paper: I think it sucks when you run out of toilet paper. You don’t realize how much you need it until it’s gone. It’s especially sucky when you’re already on the john and can’t find a new roll. What do you do in this situation?

Improvise. Run to the kitchen with your pants around your ankles looking for some napkins. Or so I’ve heard...

3. Carpal tunnel: I think my excessive typing and endless gaming marathons has finally caught up to me — I think I have carpal tunnel. Let me tell you, it’s not fun when you drop your drink because of a hand cramp.

ELYSE RUSSO Entertainment editor LIKES 1. My favorite blanket: This is a knotted fleece blanket that my sister made for me; it’s multicolor zebra print on one side and multicolor cheetah print on the other side. And it’s really long so it covers your feet.

2. Fall clothes: With the cooler weather that we’ve been having the past few days, all I can think about is going on a fall clothes shopping spree.

3. Za’s service: After bagging my dinner to go, the guy working behind the counter at Za’s told me to have a “Za-tastic” day. You rock Za’s!

ERIN SCOTTBERG Editor in chief LIKES 1. Haley’s Comet: Not the one that killed the Dinosaurs, silly. I mean the carmely, choclatey hand-dipped ice cream at Serendipit y in the Union. Best of all, samples are free — and if you smile real nice, they hook it up.

2. High - pressure shower heads: A weak water stream while you’re scrubbing up isn’t just annoying; it’s dissatisfying. It’s hard to get that squeaky-clean, just washed away the day feeling when there’s hardly enough pressure to rinse out the shampoo.

3. Living near Tang Dynasty: It’s some of the best Chineese food around. Trust me, my Chineese friend says so. I recommend the ginger chicken lunch special: entree, rice, egg roll and soup for less than seven bucks — that’s lunch and dinner baby!

ANNA STATHAM Music editor GRIPES 1. Pink U of I shirts: Also green, turquoise, violet, and yellow U of I shirts. Isn’t the purpose of a U of I shirt to display school pride? Pink is not the new orange and blue, and I’m going to go out on a limb here and say it probably never will be.

2. Put this in your profile if: Put this in your profile if you think you have something witty in your profile but it’s not because you just took it from someone else.

3. Man gouchos: When girls wear gouchos, they look like they are walking in individual curtains made for their legs. When boys wear gouchos ...

I should not have to finish this sentence, let alone ever have started it.

BRITTANY BINDRIM Art director LIKES 1. Elbows: good for throwing.

2. Boca chili: Meatless chili that actually tastes good! It’s also really fast to make. Yum! 3. OBEY Giant: The street art campaign / experiment in phenomenology started by Shepard Fairey has been finding it’s way all over the world. It love how Obey stirs up questions of art and it’s surroundings, as well as the power of propaganda and advertisements.

TATYANA SAFRONOVA Community editor LIKES 1 . The ability to escap e: It is one of the greatest abilities, really. Whether it is for moments, hours, or the two weeks when I went to Michigan in August to escape all the weight of the world, escape is the chance for adventure in a place where adventure is seen by most as an abstract concept reserved for lunatics unconcerned with money.

2. Marjoram: it is just one of the new spices I’ve found on my roommate’s spice rack and I love it! So sweet and aromatic! I’ve already used it twice in one day.

2. My dog: His name is Sherlock Holmes. He is a six-and-a-half-year-old fawn-colored pug.

Having him is the closest I’ve come to having my own child. It’s fascinating watching him grow.

As a weeks-old pup, he would cuddle in my lap and fall asleep. He was also untrained. Now, he is independent and likes to take other people’s seats for his own sleeping pleasure. But now he also listens, finally familiar with conversation, questions, and patterns that we’ve established.

And the best part is that he’s been adorable throughout.

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