Buzz Magazine: Sept. 1, 2005

champaign . urbana

09 | 01 | O5 . O9 | O7 | O5

s o u n d s f r o m t h e s c e n e FREE

kaiser chiefs

october 4th assembly hall

pg.16

ON SALE NOW! 速

Tickets at Assembly Hall Box Office, Ticket Central at Illini Union and all Ticketmaster outlets Charge-by-phone: 217-333-5000 or order online at www.ticketmaster.com

SWEET! CORN FESTIVAL

THE SOUND REPUBLIC TALKS TO BUZZ!

BUZZ CALENDAR: ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW

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buzz weekly

seth fein

I TRIED TO WALK INTO A TARGET ONCE, BUT I MISSED.

the local sniff

Sweetcorn Festival a bust!

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PHONE: 217/337-8337 DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

Other Rentals 500 HOUSES

Local Chapter of Scientologists "stressed out" SETH FEIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

FIRST SNIFF In retrospect, I can look back on the Sweetcorn Festival with a certain amount of delight and awe. When I was a child, it was one of my favorite things to go to with my dad.The reasons are endless, but one of the main ones was because the corn was free.

And man did we eat corn. I swear, I was shitting out corn for weeks. You would go up to the people running the stand and they’d ask, “How many do you want?”You could say, “Thirtyeight, please,” and with a smile, someone would hand you the 38 ears of corn, drenched in butter and wrapped in wax paper. I mean, it’s corn, for crying out loud, not saffron.

But now, it’s a load of bullshit. $1 for ONE ear of corn? What is that, a joke? Not to mention the fact that the corn was brought to us by ...Wal-Mart. And it's shipped in from … Colorado?

And what was with the booth placement? Who is in charge of that anyway? How come all the "liberal" organizations like WRFU and Anti-War Movement were clumped together in a low traffic area while the "Honor The Chief" booth was front and center in the middle of the flippin’ intersection? Oh yeah a real "liberal" community we live in here.

Very nice, Urbana.Very nice. I suppose that, based on the way that Tod Satterthwaite ran the city into the ground for 12 years, it’s no one’s fault really. But let’s hope that next year, we can get corn prices down, and maybe, just maybe, we could contract some local farmers to grow sweet corn for us. Perhaps we could find some parity in the way that booth locations are determined as well. Once again, it seems as though Urbana is in serious need of some help.

I believe in Laurel though. Don't you worry. Prussing will take care of it. Doesn’t seem like it would be too much trouble, does it?

TOM CRUISE – YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE A BUNCH OF SNIFFERS...

I suppose that the only good part of the day for me was when I went to the Scientology booth. They were giving away free Stress Tests as a way to promote their “Bible” - Dianetics by that guy named Mother Hubbard. It seemed interesting enough anyway, so I sat down next to a lady with a machine that looked like it had been bought at Radio Shack in the bargain bin. It conspicuously had the name Hubbard on it. I was asked to grab on to two metal cylinder things and she asked me to think of someone in my life. Naturally, I thought of a few people – my girlfriend, my mom, my brother, my boss, etc. etc. Allow me to recreate the dialogue for you so that you can get a sense of the genius behind this machine. There are three characters to this

one act: Seth Fein,Woman and Man, identified by acronym.

W:Are you thinking of someone? SF:Yes. W: Do you see how the needle is moving? SF:Yes, I do. W:That means that you feel some degree of stress about them. SF: Of course I do. They are important to me. W: Wouldn’t you like to not feel stress about them? SF: Uh. That’s impossible. M: It’s not impossible.You just don’t want to learn.You don’t want to listen. SF: Do you ever feel stress about anything? W: No. We have learned how to rid ourselves of our “Reactive Mind.” SF: So, have you ever been in a relationship? M: How is that relevant? SF: Well, if you have ever been in one, you would know that it can get stressful at some points. Say, when you are trying to conceive and you can’t, maybe?

Not that I am, but I know people who have been through that....

M: (interrupting) With Dianetics, you can accomplish anything.

SF:Yes, but… M (interrupting): See! You just don’t want to listen!

You don’t care! SF: Sir, I am trying to have a dialogue here. If you would just hear my… M: (interrupting) You know what?!? This is my booth and you can just leave then! (He is yelling at me by this point!) SF: Oh yeah.You seem calm.You’re already yelling at me for simply asking questions?

I left. And so, in case any of you were wondering about whether or not Scientology reduces stress and as a result, will help you lose weight - it doesn’t. Everyone at the booth was yelling at people and was fat. So, go get yourself a treadmill and a day at the spa. Same thing – only without the brainwashing.

FINAL WHIFF It is worth noting that we here in Seth Fein is from C-U have a growing number of blog- Urbana. He and his gers with many different opinions. girlfriend laughed Personally, I have never “blogged” all the way to about anything. But I suppose that Schnucks on when you write a column in a weekly, Saturday where there is not much need for it. But not they bought 10 ears of corn for everyone is as lucky as I. But dammit if $2.00. He can be they aren’t great reads throughout the reached at sethday – and deserve just as much attenfein@hotmail.com. tion as the rest of us going out on a limb to spread opinion and fodder for the community! And allow me to state this: It can get pretty heated when someone starts to rip into a certain local columnist. (Hint: it wasn’t me) In any event, people should be reading these guys and gals.

They have copious knowledge about these little cities of ours and every now and again, something pops up that makes people electronically freak out. I did on Saturday night. It was a blast! But remember: If you are going to post something inflammatory about another person, do us all a favor, grow a pair and use your own name. Those of you who post anonymously are just like the Scientologists: a bunch of scared ass jicks, afraid to face the realities of life.

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• This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

Employment 000 020

HELP WANTED Part Time

Homework tutor needed for high school student in special education.

15hrs/ wk. in late afternoon or evenings. Must have car. Call 390-7887 or 359-9655.

PICKLES IS NOW HIRING PARTTIME SERVERS. APPLY IN PERSON, 505 S. NEIL, CHAMPAIGN.

030

HELP WANTED Full/Part Time

Earn $5000 as an egg donor. Must be 20-29 and a non-smoker. Please call Alternative Reproductive Resources at 773-327-7315 to learn how you can help a family fulfill its dreams.

Illinois FOP Fundraising Center Perfect opportunity for Students and Individuals looking for FT/ PT Employment. Earn $9 hr (after paid training). Year Round 1-800-809-8775

Merchandise 200 SPORTING GOODS

255

Digital stairstepper. Barely used. $50. 352-3451

GARAGE SALES

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Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550 per month. 367-6626.

RATES:

1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $545 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking.

Fall 04, 367-6626

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The Daily Illini

510

every Monday through Friday

ROOMS

EXECUTIVE LOFT 201 S. Wright St., Champaign.

Adjacent to Engineering campus.

Loft bedroom, security parking, balcony, A/C, laundry.

Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012

UNIQUE

Available Fall. 1 bedroom loft apartment. Fully equipped. Balcony, parking. 409 W. Green. Call Hardwick Apartments, 356-5272 or 621-1012.

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

304 & 306 E. Clark, C Castle Apartments

3 blocks to Engineering Quad. 3 BR $690, 4 BR $890. C/A, ceiling fan, dishwasher, washer/dryer in unit.

384-1099, castle_apartments@ameritech.net 4 Blocks from Krannert.One parking space, Garbage/Trash removal included.

Furnished/Unfurnished.

Available now. $450.00. 367-5370

APARTMENTS

Available Aug 05 1 bedroom $385 Campus. 367-6626

Available for Fall

407 E. University. Luxury one bedrooms, fully equipped- microwave, washer/dryer in-unit. Security building with elevator. Balconies, underground parking.

Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012

316 S. State St., C 4/ 5 bedroom home, 2 baths, 2 full kitchens, laundry room. $1100/mo.

369-7205.

Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2850 367-6626

BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480.

1 Br. $370 2 BR. $470 3 BR. $750 4 BR $755 Campus. 367-6626.

430

Unfurnished

GIANT SALE 205 W. Nevada Mostly vintage, priced to sell, many $1 items. Lots of art- prints, paintings, studio pottery, vintage glassware and dishes, purses, funky clothes, LP’s books, etc.!

Thursday- Sunday 7a- 7p. Half price or less Sunday.

Apartments

APARTMENTS

1 bedroom in older home. $625/ mo.

Utilities included. 314 S. State St, Champaign. 369-7205 507 W. White, C. Contemporary 2 BR, now available.

In the heart of Old-town Champaign. $495/mo, 352-8540, 377-4677pm. www.faronproperties.com

530

Furnished room (new carpet and bed) in huge quiet Victorian grad house near West Side Park and Downtown Champaign. Living and kitchen space is shared. Includes all utilities, local and U.S. long distance telephone, cable, Ethernet, use of Washer/Dryer, and private parking.

One year lease and deposit required.

Subletting is permitted.

Rent $485 per month. Short term leases considered for increased rent. Available NOW! Call 217-3552326 anytime.

1 BR in 4 BR apartment. $350/mo, includes all utilities. 367-6626.

Room for rent in a nice house. $400/ month, furnished, includes basic utilities, Grad student or other mature individual desired.

ROOM & BOARD

540

www.couch.coop. Vegetarian meals, private rooms, internet, diverse, affordable, friends, home.

ROOMMATE WANTED 550

2 BR avail. mid-August laundry, pkg, W/A, $485/mo The Weiner Companies, Ltd

384-8018

Yearbooks still on sale!

Order Today!!

Call 337-8300

1 bedroom, near campus $300 per month 367-6626

RealEstateforSale 600 HOUSES

630

For Sale

800 W. CHURCH, C.

Park-like Setting

2005 Illio

The Daily Illini is the independent student newspaper at U of I and is distributed all over campus and around Champaign-Urbana

Want community?

Vegetarian meals? Affordable private rooms? www.couch.coop

Now Available. 2 BRs. Centrally located near shopping/ transportation.

Onsite laundry, off-street parking. $450/mo.

217-352-8540, 217-377-4677 pm www.faronproperties.com Downtown apartment/ studio space @ 511 N. Neil, C. 2nd floor, 2000 sqft. 4 huge bedrooms, lots of windows, off- street parking. $1400/mo.

Available August 15. Contact John, James Burch Real Estate, 3692310.

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Pick up a copy of

2 bedroom and 7 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2004. 367-6626.

INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

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IF YOU WERE UNDER HOUSE ARREST AND YOU LIVED IN A MOBILE HOME, WOULDN’T YOU BE ABLE TO GO ANYWHERE YOU WANT?

1609 West Church, Champaign Just minutes from the campus.

House features: Arched doorways, Basement, Japanese soaking tub.

Remodeled ready for move in. $115,000.

Call 202-5807.

FSBO.COM#75514.

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w i l l

a s t r o l o g y

CANCER

ARIES

(March 21-April 19)

Here's how rock critic Aidin Vaziri described the tage set when hip-hop artist 50 Cent played in San Jose: "an urban wasteland that looked like it was designed by Disney (complete with an overturned police car, graffiti-covered trashcans and the decapitated head of the Statue of Liberty)." I hope you don't take this the wrong way, Aries, but there's a certain resemblance between that environment and yours. The so-called chaos you're surrounded by is either imaginary or artificial or both. It may be seductively well-made, and therefore hard to resist, but you can walk away from it any time you choose.

TAU RU S

(April 20-May 20)

You have the potential to be a great wizard in the coming week.

Here's how to fulfill that promise: (1) Renounce grandiose fantasies of transforming lead into gold or frogs into soul mates.

(2) Think small, be specific, get extremely pragmatic, and don't make up stories based on inconclusive evidence. (3) Take everything that's dreamy and hazy and bring it down to earth.

(4) Don't bitch about the limitations; love them and use them to your advantage. (5) Treat idealism as a distraction unless it can be translated into concrete acts that do some good for actual human beings.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

A respected medical journal reports that one out of four people thinks that "scientists have already found a cure for cancer, but that this cure is being withheld by the health care industry because it makes more money treating the illness."

There are a lot of paranoid theories like this going around.

Millions believe in the existence of elite puppet masters who manipulate our shared resources to serve their own power and wealth rather than the public good. I'm not smart or crazy enough to evaluate these theories. But I do know that for you right now, Gemini, it's crucial to be extremely skeptical of every authority, expert, and leader. You should express similar discernment toward those who present themselves as hip, highstatus, or special. It will be to your advantage to disrespect hierarchies and become a devotee of pure democracy.

(June 21-July 22)

"All I learned in the three colleges I attended," says my friend Davey, "was how to beat the system by using its own rules against it." "All I learned in college," declares author Miravi Bhuna-Giva, "was how to make up sh--." "All I learned in college," asserts late-night TV talk show host Jimmy Kimmel, "was how to drink while standing on my head." All these educational experiences are highly recommended for you in the coming weeks, Cancerian. You're in a phase when you'll have luck and grace if you act like an eager student, whether you're trying to perfect the art of squeezing more perks out of the game of life or mastering goofy tricks that will make more people want to invite you to their parties.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

Do you have total confidence in your ability to swing lawn chairs around with your teeth? Can you safely eat broken glass, withstand people riding bicycles over your belly, and smash bricks with your head? If so, you don't need my advice this week. But if you're not sure you're capable of pulling off the kinds of feats I named, please resist the temptation to try them. For that matter, don't even think of submitting to other strenuous tests that are at the edge of your ability. This is a time for you to lay low and recharge, not throw yourself into trials by fire. Be modest and self-protective, not brazen and reckless.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

You have weathered a turning point in your relationship with darkness, and will never again be tempted by its strange attractions. Did you hear what I said? You have had your last encounters with hellish monsters that unleash torment for the fun of it. You will never again get mixed up with events that resemble crawling through caverns filled with the souls of the damned. In the future, you may on occasion have weird dreams about owls and spiders and snakes, but they will be good weird. Congrats, Virgo.

LIBRA

what ’s your sign?

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Painter Henri Matisse (1869-1954) departed so recklessly from the traditions of his art form that some critics believed he threatened to undermine civilization. That seems unbelievable to us today. Can you imagine any modern painter, musician, writer, or filmmaker being accorded power like that? I can't.

Those whose creative expression carries the greatest clout do their work in the areas of business and technology. Having said that, I'll now make an exception: You currently have the potential to wield a dramatic influence with your creativity in every realm except business and technology.

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec.21)

"Dear Rob: Two years ago I had intimate relations with a mountain. I was driving toward the Cascades when I became aware of a physical longing for Bonanza Peak, which lay ahead of me.

As I got closer, I rolled down the windows and sucked in the cool air. I had the exact same sensation as loving someone so deeply that breathing in their breath fills me with erotic images and naughty tingles and lusty compassion. I thought you should know. -Earth Lover" Dear Earth Lover: Thanks for your testimony. It's the perfect message for Sagittarians to hear right now, so I'm advising them to learn from your example.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

There's a connection between Al Qaeda and actor Kevin Bacon, according to Tatsuya Ishida at www.sinfest.net. Al Qaeda was trained by the CIA, he says, which was established by President Harry Truman, who dropped the atom bomb which was cooked up by the Manhattan Project, which was the name of a movie starring John Lithgow, who was in the film "Footloose" with Kevin Bacon. I invite you to make liberal of this kind of logic in

jonesin crossword puzzle

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

"If the Angel decides to come it will be because you have convinced her, not by tears but by your humble resolve to be always beginning; to be a beginner." So said the poet Rainer Maria Rilke, as if speaking to your exact needs right now. Let me offer this addendum: The Angel wants to come very badly.

She is passionate about offering you the novel assistance she has dreamed up just for you.

s e p t

AQUARIUS

When your plane takes off and the flight attendants give you their lecture on what to do in case of emergency, they remind you that "your nearest exit may be behind you." That's good advice for you to keep in mind during the coming week, Aquarius. I don't mean to imply that you'll be facing some literal danger that will require you to make a quick escape. What I do suggest is that you remove yourself, at least temporarily, from a certain process that's barreling full-speed ahead. The best way to do it is to go backward, into the past, or in reverse.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

When I went to a hard-core rock festival recently, all but one of the bands made abundant use of the f-word. They invoked it so often, both in their songs and between-song patter, that it got boring. The lone group that departed from the norm did express gleeful rage, but it was with a phrase I rarely hear anymore. "I don't give a damn," the singer shouted at the end of one song. I chuckled at the archaic modesty of the expression, but it stayed with me more than the histrionics the other bands preferred. That brings me to the advice I have for you, Pisces: Get to the root of your anger and then render it with an understated craft that sets it apart from the overwrought venting that everyone has grown numb to.

Homework: What do you want so badly that you're driving it away?

How can you fix the problem? Testify at www.freewillastrology.

Hilarity in Seuss

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Across 1 Stage actress Hagen 4 Triathlete's need 8 It's said with a sigh 14 They ease the pain of death 16 Fix the punctuation once more 17 Seuss book about destroying a marijua na farm?

18 Shook an Etch A Sketch 19 Bator, Mongolia 20 Brand best known for purees 22 Seuss book where the main character listens to noodle soup?

28 Overgrown 29 Tongue-twisting bath tub plaything 30 Lint trap, so to speak

33 Particles with a charge 34 Seuss book about surpassing actress Winger?

39 "Peek-___!"

40 Wanderer 41 Rudolph feature 44 Belief that God creat ed the world, but does not intervene in it 48 Seuss book about a musical breakfast?

52 Like many rescues 53 Tiny bit 54 Spotter's phrase 57 Seuss book arguing in favor of libertarian ism?

60 La Quinta alternative 61 Work (against) 62 Company named for its founder, Adolf Dassler

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

63 Princess visited by Dorothy in the book series 64 "Queer Eye" food & wine expert Down 1 "I agree" 2 Like pitches that head for the feet 3 "That's why I carry _____" 4 Recycling receptacle 5 Rap group with trade mark makeup, for short 6 Retirement plan for the self-employed 7 Cosmetics queen Lauder 8 Swedish city west of Stockholm 9 What Galileo was nearly convicted of

s o u n d s

10 Be ready to eat lob ster 11 Bradley and Begley, for two 12 It's not true 13 Inc., overseas 15 Florence's ___ Vecchio 21 Warning on video games with lots of gore 23 "Garfield" movie role played by a real dog 24 Abbr. in a Broadway address 25 Worthy of a D 26 1985 U.S. Open win ner Mandlikova 27 Tiebreaker rounds: abbr.

31 Part of the conscious far from the self 32 Diminutive Italian suf fix 34 Host Ken of MTV's "Remote Control" 35 Lymphatic mass 36 Moron 37 Man Ray's genre 38 Tree of Knowledge's spot 39 Braz. neighbor 42 Silver company that shares its name with an Indian tribe 43 Mattress choices 45 Moron 46 Fired off a few rounds towards 47 Become something else entirely 49 Camp X-Ray locale, slangily 50 Combining form meaning "split" 51 ___ out (like some Visas) 54 George Gershwin's brother 55 Pathetic 56 Virgin rival 58 Shady figure?

59 ___ Fail (palindromic "Stone of Destiny") Answers pg. 10

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uNDER c OVER

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Cover Design • Nikita Sorokin Editor in chief • Paul Wagner Art Director • Claire Napier Copy Chief • Emily Wahlheim Music • Kyle Gorman Arts • Constance Beitzel Film • Andrew Vecelas Community • Erin Scottberg Calendar • Erin Scottberg Photography Editor • David Solana Designers • Brittany Bindrim, Nikita Sorokin, Obumneme Asota Calendar Coordinators • Cassie Conner, Todd Swiss Photography • Austin Happel Copy Editors • Sarah Goebel, Dan Petrella, Ruth McCormack, Meghan Whalen Staff Writers • Todd Swiss, Paul Prikazsky, Syd Slobodnik, Beth Dillman, Todd J. Hunter Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein Production Manager • Meredith Niepert Sales Manager • Anna Rost Marketing/Distribution • Louis Reeves III Publisher • Mary Cory

|1-5| 2 2 2 3 4 |5-6| 5 |7-9| 7 8 9

write: 57 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820

Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50

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AROUND TOWN Sweetcorn Festival • Todd Swiss

LISTEN, HEAR The Sound Republic • DJ Bozak Ravish Momin’s Trio Tarana review • Kyle Gorman Sound Ground #91 • Todd J. Hunter

| 14 - 15 |

ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT

14 14 15 15

17 17

call: 217.337.3801

We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date.

Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini

The Local Sniff • Seth Fein This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening Slowpoke • Jen Sorensen First Things First • Michael Coulter

MAIN EVENT

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e-mail: buzz@readbuzz.com

INTRO

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TALK TO BUZZ

s o u n d s

buzz weekly •

I HAVEN’T SLEPT FOR TEN DAYS ...

7

the coming days, Capricorn. The astrological omens say it will be healthy for you to let your imagination run away with you as long as you don't take as gospel truth all the conclusions it leads you to. So please feel free to ramble down the fine line between creative storytelling and total BS.

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7 , 2 OO5

BUZZ STAFF

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| 18 | 18 18 | 19 - 20 |

Arts Festival • Jeff Nelson Artist’s Corner with Rob Lauren McColley Letter from Constance Beitzel (Th)ink • Keef Knight

THE SILVER SCREEN Fall Film Preview • Brian Nichols The Brothers Grimm review • Paul Prikazsky Movie Time Listings

THE STINGER Free Will Astrology Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney

CLASSIFIEDS

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EDITOR’S NOTE PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

Lately, I’ve been reading

the New York Times at night and the other night I came across a story that I found more than slightly disturbing, and now you all get to hear about it.

The story comes from Nebraska. Here goes.The names will be left out because you should read the story to find them out. A 22-year-old man is being charged with statutory rape.

Why is this covered in the NY Times, you ask? Because the state of Nebraska is charging him for having sex with his 14-year-old WIFE. What kind of evidence can the state possibly produce, you ask? The happy couple has a child.

Yep, that’s right, a 14-year-old girl had a baby fathered by a 22-year-old man. But the legal age of consent in Nebraska is 17. Therefore, they couldn’t get married in their home state.

And this is where the story takes a turn for the worse.They traveled to Kansas to get married. An odd place for marriage at best, but the legal age of consent in Kansas is, you’re never going to believe this, 12.

A 12-year-old in Kansas can legally have consenting sex with anyone. I cannot even begin to describe just how repulsive that is to me. And apparently the governor of Kansas

was outraged that a 14-year-old could get married in her state.

The story continues, though. The parents of the girl and the man are both happy as clams that their kids got hitched. The mom of the man is actually quite proud of him. Apparently he was a bit of a scumbag (really?), but he’s now sticking with the kid he knocked up instead of running away from the problem.

The parents of the girl are just happy that she’s happy.Which seems a bit weird to me. If this were my sister, I’d probably kill the asshole, my dad would likely back me up. Hell, my mom would attack the guy.There’s just so much wrong with this.

Luckily, the guy is being charged by the state and could face up to 50 years in prison.

Sometimes I think charging consenting people for statutory rape is ridiculous. But that’s for high schoolers that are of similar age.

Maybe two juniors go to prom and have consenting sex afterwards, but they’re 16 and 17.

Charging either of them with statutory rape would piss me off. But a 22-year-old with a 14-year-old? I hope you’re all as pissed about this as me. It’s atrocious.

Honestly, I’m not sure why I told this story; I just find it horrible, so do with it what you will.

- Paul PS: I promised a friend I would do this, so Happy Birthday Kate Gleason!

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BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE TOO LONG.

first things first

How I learned to not trust people

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A couple of years ago, I was

headed towards Esquire to have a couple of beers (i.e., 15 or 16), when a guy stopped me and asked for $10. He wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t begging and explained his story. He had no money on him and had just broken his key off in the door lock of his car and needed to take a taxi home to get his spare set of keys. For crapsake, he even had a broken key in his hand.

Obviously, the cab ride would be about $10, and he would pay me back when he returned for his car. He was dressed like a guy who had been working all day so I gave him ten bucks and went inside to drink and wait for his return. Roughly a minute later it occurred to me that he wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t coming back.

I was pissed about the incident, but I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really sure who I was pissed at. I suppose I was mostly pissed at myself for being one of the suckers born every minute. Usually Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a big rat bastard when it comes to things like that, but for some reason this guy got through my defenses. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get me wrong, I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t enjoy being grifted, but at the same time, I had to

give the guy credit. At least he had a skill.

For reasons of self preservation, I decided to look at it this way. I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t lose $10 to a con man, but instead, I paid $10 for a lesson about how you should never trust other people. A harsh reminder such as that is worth at least $10. Even after all the suckering, I preferred him to the beggars who just ask you for money.

I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know what it is about pan handlers, but they aggravate me. In all fairness, not all of them do, but most of them. Last time I was in Mexico, there was a little girl playing an accordion. Actually, to call it â&#x20AC;&#x153;playingâ&#x20AC;? would be a gross overstatement, but she was doing her best.

She asked no one for money, but she had a paper cup sitting beside her. Most everyone who passed dropped some change into her cup.

Sure, she was cute and everything, but I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s why people gave her money. I think it was because she was at least making an effort.

It didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seem like begging.

For the record, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not advocating that homeless people should jump up and dance for the alms theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re given and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m in no way suggesting that they all arm themselves with accordions so the rest of us feel better about giving

them money. Still, simply scampering from person to person asking for money doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seem like an especially productive way to spend your day either, not to mention the discomfort it causes the people who are asked for money.

The city council of Atlanta approved a measure last week that they think will help the matter, making it illegal for anyone to ask strangers for food or money near its downtown museums and the Martin Luther King Jr. National Historical Site.The business owners around the areas feel that the aggressive beggars are hurting not only their businesses, but also the general image of the area. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not completely heartless, but you know what? Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re right. Confine all the pan handlers to one specific street and then see how much general traffic goes down on that street. I bet it wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be much.

Like I said, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not heartless about the problem of homelessness. Some people get down on their luck, some people have mental problems, some people just need a helping hand to right their ship. I feel sorry for these people.

In fact, most people feel more than sorry for these people. Our community has several resources to get homeless people back on track and help them with things such as employment

and housing, some through churches, some through government agencies, some through private programs.

If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re willing to make any sort of effort to better yourself, there are people to who are happy to help. The problem I have is with the down on their luck people who make no effort whatsoever. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard for me to justify giving a guy on Michael Coulter the street money to help him is a videographout when itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the same guy Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve er, comedian seen on the same street for the and sort of a last ten years. Obviously giving smart-ass. But him money hasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really helped we love him anyway, and donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t him out so much.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a tough thing, and even as know why.

I write this, I sort of cringe at Probably the callousness of some of my because heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s so statements. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not sure banning damn funny. beggars from a particular area is the answer, but Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not sure what a better alternative is. It seems like giving them free reign only perpetuates the problem.

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m happy as hell to give people money so they can improve their lives. I just think thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a big difference between asking for money to get better and asking for money so you never have to.

Welcome to all new and returning UI-Champaign students! Join us for free food and rock climbing during Extreme Adventure Night, Aug.31, 5:30-8p.m. at 132 D Armory Building or call ARMY ROTC at 244-1407 for more info.

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NOW THEY KNOW THAT WE KNOW THAT THEY KNOW THAT WE KNOW!

THE BROTHERS GRIMM

Except that accordian playing little girl in Mexico, I trusted her ... but the accordian gave her credibility MICHAEL COULTER â&#x20AC;˘ CONTRIBUTING WRITER

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PAUL PRIKAZSKY â&#x20AC;˘ LEAD REVIEWER

After a lengthy hiatus, visionary director Terry

and grime, they are richly detailed and alive with colorful characters.

Gilliamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s unique view doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t come cheap, and his legendary battles with studio big-wigs over films like The Adventures of Baron Munchausen have become a cautionary tale to fledgling directors. Nevertheless, Gilliam fights for his vision to make its way to the screen and when it does itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s worth the price of a ticket alone.

So how does a director seemingly focused on visuals work with his actors? Pretty well, it seems.

Some of the performances might be a little over the top, but for the most part there are smart actors giving delicately nuanced performances.

Heath Ledger particularly stands out as the nebbish Grimm brother, absorbed in his world of fantasy and magic. After Ledgerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s usually suave and slick roles, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fun to see him play against type. He provides the foil to Damonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Will.Will Grimm has no time for the petty fantasy world of his younger brother. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s more concerned with making a fast buck and landing even faster women.

These characters are nothing new to Gilliam.

He has been forever flirting with the fantasy vs. reality theme and the people populating his films evoke one idea or the other. From his nightmarish sci-fi film, Brazil to his New York fairy tale, The Fisher King, Gilliam has consistently created worlds where characters are in love with an idealâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;whether attainable or notâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and drift from the harsh truth of reality to something filled with magical innocence and childlike awe.

If nothing else, The Brothers Grimm is a visual feast likely to keep the audience fully satiated.

Unfortunately, this film suffers where so many do: story.The plot is paper thin and lacks the pure excitement a movie of this caliber should have. It seems too simple and the events unravel too quickly.And remember itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a fairy tale; you better believe everyone lives happily ever after.

Gilliam makes his triumphant return with The Brothers Grimm, an uneven though inspired fairy tale. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been seven years since Gilliam took us on the drug-fueled odyssey that was Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Notorious for fighting with the studios over his astronomical budgets, the creative genius came roaring back in 2005 with not one, but two films (the other being Tideland, which will be released later this year). Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s good to have him back.

Once upon a time Wilhelm (Matt Damon) and Jacob (Heath Ledger) Grimm went barn-storming through Germany eradicating curses and specters from local villages and collecting a decent paycheck for it. Unbeknownst to the scared villagers, the brothers are actually con artists and all those bumps in the night are rigged.

Things are going pretty smoothly until the French soldiers discover the brothersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; ruse and threaten to destroy their reputation. Under the care of the French Generalâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s (Jonathon Pryce) villainous lackey, Cavaldi (Peter Stormare), the brothers are sent to a village under a real curse, and for once find themselves in real danger.

Eleven young girls have gone missing from the village and the townspeople know they have disappeared into the cursed woods. The forest is under the spell of an evil queen (Monica Bellucci) who needs the blood of 12 virgins to regain her vitality and stay young forever. With the help of Angelika (Lena Heady), a tough-as-nails townie, the brothers embark on a quest to stop the evil doings of the wicked queen.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fun to see all those fairy tales we know so well come to life on the big s c re e n . E l e m e n t s f ro m Grimm classics like Little Red Riding Hood, Rapunzel, and Hansel and Gretel are cleverly interspersed throughout the movie.The world in The Brothers Grimm is one where fantasy and reality tread a thin line. Watching the events of the film unfold while Jake Grimm carefully documents them further blurs that line.

As the former animator for the notorious British comedy troupe, Monty Python, Gilliam has extraordinary visual sensibilities and they certainly rise to the forefront of The Brothers Grimm. His worlds are simultaneously dark and beautiful. Despite their dirt THE BROTHERS GRIMM â&#x20AC;˘

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CHARLIE & CHOCOLATE (PG) Fri. 1:25 4:00 7:00 9:35 12:00 Sat. 11:00 1:25 4:00 7:00 9:35 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:25 4:00 7:00 9:35 SKY HIGH (PG) Fri. & Sun. Thu. 1:55 4:25 Sat. 11:30 1:55 4:25 MUST LOVE DOGS (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. & Sat. 7:10 9:30 11:40 Sun. - Thu. 7:10 9:30 WEDDING CRASHERS (R) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:40 4:15 7:10 9:50 Sat. 11:10 1:40 4:15 7:10 9:50 RED EYE (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. 1:25 3:30 5:35 7:10 9:45 11:45 Sat. 11:20 1:25 3:30 5:35 7:10 9:45 11:45 Sun. - Thu. 1:25 3:30 5:35 7:10 9:45 BROTHERS GRIMM (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. & Mon. - Thu. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:45 Sat. 11:00 1:30 4:15 9:45 Sun. 1:30 4:15 9:45 THE GREAT RAID (R) Fri. Thu. 1:10 4:05 7:00 9:55 SKELETON KEY (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. 1:55 4:30 7:10 9:40 12:05 Sat. 11:10 1:55 4:30 7:10 9:40 12:05 Sun. - Thu. 1:55 4:30 7:10 9:40 40 YEAR-OLD VIRGIN (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:10 4:10 7:10 9:40 12:05 Sun. - Thu. 1:10 4:10 7:10 9:40 THE CAVE (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00 Sat. 11:00 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00 A SOUND OF THUNDER (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. & Sat. 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:30 11:45 Sun. - Thu. 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:30

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FALL FILM PREVIEW BRIAN NICHOLS • STAFF WRITER

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WARNER BROTHERS

ith school back in session, students are once again preparing for another semester of studying and cramming.

Accompanying them on their journey are wizards, superheroes, space pirates and even a corpse bride. That’s right, this is the fall movie preview. So just sit back, relax and forget about school for a while as you take a cinematic journey of upcoming movies.

Though the fall movie schedule typically has fewer blockbusters than the summer, there are several movies that have the potential to stand out. Kicking things off is the Sept. 2 release of The

HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE

previews the movie appears to capture all the glory that was shared with Pixar.

On Sept. 30 comes the movie that sci-fi fans are looking forward to with much anticipation. Based on the Firefly television series, Serenity hits the big screen. Most fans of the series would agree that Firefly was canceled too early, so fanboys should be delighted to see this show in theatres.This movie is really something to be excited about. The previews not only show a glimpse of fantastic special effects, but also promise to deliver a great story in addition to all the eye candy. Those unfamiliar with the TV series need not worry, as the movie will clue in non-fans to the back story.

Those who haven’t gotten their fill of sci-fi adventure after Serenity can prepare themselves for the film version of the classic PC game Doom. The only reason to see this movie is The Rock. That’s right folks, the great one himself captains the cast of Space Marines in this adventure. While The Rock is charismatic and has stolen the show in every single movie he has been in, one can’t help but think that this latest video game to movie adaptation is a lot like tennis and golf-a lot more fun to play than to watch.

The Chronicles of Narnia: the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe hits the big screen on Dec. 9. This long-awaited adaptation of the first book in C.S. Lewis’ classic series features a cast comprised largely of unkowns (the most recognizable stars to American audiences might be the voices of Rupert Everett and Brian Cox).The Narnia books are family-friendly tales of magic and adventure, so movie executives are undoubtedly hoping to tap into the huge Harry Potter audience. With seven books in the series, the will be no shortage of sequels to come should The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe become a blockbuster.

Speaking of Harry Potter, audiences are surely waiting for his fourth adventure on the silver screen this November: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. The original cast has all returned, minus of course Richard Harris (Dumbledore), who passed away between the second and third movies and was replaced by Michael Gamdon. Mike Newell has taken over directing the newest installment of this franchise from Alfonso Cuaron. In Goblet of Fire, Harry is in his fourth year at Hogwarts and is competing in the Tri-Wizard Tournament.

What’s great about the Harry Potter series is that as the audience grows older, the stories also grow up, becoming a little darker and more interesting with each new chapter. As the actors have aged, their performances have improved. Of all the movies on this fall preview, Harry Potter is easily the most anticipated. These movies are phenomenal adaptations of the already classic books.

From sci-fi to animation, and action to drama, there will be no shortage of film entertainment this fall semester to distract students from their studies. But only time will tell if these movies will be as successful as Batman Begins or crash and burn like Stealth. buzz

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– Mark Twain

FESTIVAL IS A SWEET DEAL FOR CHAMPAIGN-URBANA RESIDENTS TODD SWISS • STAFF WRITER

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hen Urbana held its first Sweetcorn Festival nearly 30 years ago, it was merely a tool to promote the downtown area. Since then, the festival has grown immensely. This year’s free event included an antique car show, two stages with live music and numerous child-friendly attractions. For a town with around 38,000 citizens, the annual Sweetcorn Festival is truly an amazing feat.

How Urbana can afford to hold such an event every year without charging an entrance fee or raising taxes is hard to imagine. Similar events are held in the suburbs of Chicago with varying results, but the Sweetcorn Festival continues to grow and change. Companies come year after year and make a profit on the goods and services they offer at the festival. It continues to be popular and well attended even without the luxury of being in a densely populated area.

Corporate sponsors are a large part of making the Sweetcorn Festival a success. Through the donation of goods, services and money, local businesses and corporations get their names out to thousands of potential customers. Their donations are basically glorified advertising fees, but the public gains fun experiences from the combined efforts of the businesses and those who set up and run the event.

While it would be nice to not see huge corporate banners all around the festival, they are a fact of life. Without Wal-Mart, Urbana would not have the means to provide the 20,000 ears of corn the corporation donated. Nor would it be possible to provide children’s entertainment like the petting zoo and action inflatables without the monetary donations from local radiostations and other businesses. The Sweetcorn Festival would also not be possible without the help and cooperation of the City of Urbana and the people who live there.

Nine years ago, the first Motor Muster antique car show took place. The Corn shucking at Urbana's annual show, which features cars Sweet Corn Festival. s o u n d s

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PHOTOS • DAVID SOLANA

Transporter 2. Jason Statham (The Italian Job, Snatch) reprises his role as Frank Martin.Think of Frank Martin as a cross between James Bond and Vin Diesel’s XXX. If you enjoy classic action movies and haven’t seen the first Transporter, check it out. The original featured car chases, martial arts, gunfights and the second installment promises to deliver as much, if not more action. Be forewarned though; this movie will probably require that you turn your brain off for a couple of hours.

Fans of swashbuckling adventures have the second feature film of the new Zorro franchise. Both Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta Jones return in Legend of Zorro. Maybe Zorro 2 didn’t sound good to the producers.

Well, either that or it was too much sword slashing for Zorro to slash out a Z and then a 2 on every single defeated opponent’s jacket. Whatever the case, Zorro is a timeless hero, and if the Legend of Zorro is as fun and entertaining as the Mask of Zorro, this sequel should be a safe bet.

Fall sees no shortage of animated movies. Tim Burton fans delight as Sept. 23 marks the release of The Corpse Bride (so if you are keeping score, that is two Tim Burton movies in less than six months). Those who remember The Nightmare Before Christmas should be familiar with this unique style of animation. From the looks of the preview, The Corpse Bride could only have been delivered by the mind of Tim Burton, which is reason enough to see it. If you need additional incentive, then go check it out to hear Johnny Depp’s voiceovers and the score by Danny Elfman.

After many years of trying to get a movie made, Wallace and Gromit finally bring their brand of comedy to theatrical release on October 7th in Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit. More animation follows on Nov. 4 when Disney releases the classic tale of Chicken Little.

This is Disney’s first non-Pixar CG movie, so it will no doubt be under a lot of scrutiny as Disney looks to reclaim their position as box office powerhouse. Nonetheless, from the

The Barrel Train Express drives a full load of children around the Sweet Corn Festival in downtown Urbana. from every decade between 1910 and the 1980, was a big hit from its beginning and continues to draw car enthusiasts and curious novices to the festival. While the number of entries each year has not increased drastically, there are new cars shown every year. Co-sponsored by the Illini Collector Car Club, a core of around 35 to 40 cars appear at each year’s show and an additional 30 to 40 cars are brought by people of all ages.

A young man who just got his driver’s license last year brought his Chevolet Bel-Air, while many older car lovers brought cars they’ve owned for many years.

Norm Comer, a member of the Illini Collector Car Club and a participant in each of th nine Motor Muster shows, brought his completely original 1912 Maxwell Mascotte. Comer, who bought the car in 1968, is the vehicle’s fourth owner.When the car was first introduced to the public, it cost $980 and came with an optional windshield.

“Every year we get new entries from people in the area,” Comer said. This is why people keep coming back to look at and talk about vintage vehicles. Many of the older viewers reminisced about seeing these models when they were first released. Others chatted with the owners of the cars about what was under the hood and the restoration process that they

had gone through to make them look brand new. Many enthusiastic parents brought their children along to share their love of antique and muscle cars. Some brought cameras to document the rarities on display.

Comer said he enjoyed telling people about his car and the restoration process he went through to keep it in such good condition. He even started the car up for a couple of minutes to show curious onlookers how different the driving experience was when cars were just beginning to be made, a unique opportunity that many people would never think about, let alone experience. Even a casual car lover could learn much from Comer and his fellow participants.

For those kids who were more interested in taking a ride than looking at one didn’t have to go far. One of the many attractions aimed at children was a ride in a miniature train through downtown Urabana. Seeing the multi-colored train coupled with the smiles on the faces of the children as they rode was just one of the many candid joys over the weekend.

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Another attraction for the youngsters was the cluster of inflatable toys that were used as slides, trampolines and other playground apparatuses. The screaming and laughter coming from the enclosed inflatable that doubled as a trampoline showed that the festival had something for all ages.

The festival also included an Arts Boulevard, which allowed local artists to showcase their art and get their names out to the community.

Two stages of music provided great tunes and added to the general festival atmosphere. The Main Stage attracted bigger bands such as The Family Stone Experience, featuring members of the 70’s funk band Sly and the Family Stone.

The Elm Street Stage, on the other hand, focused more on the thriving ChampaignUrbana music scene and featured local fan favorites such as Eclectic Theory and 2-1-7.

According to Melissa Paraf, an intern at the Urbana Business Association, all of the donated corn was eaten by hungry attendees and nearly all of the beer was gone as well.

While the festival is technically run by a small number of local business owners, City of Urbana workers, community members and interns, it would not be possible without the help of numerous volunteers who helped set

up the festival and made sure that it ran smoothly. Paraf also said that sponsorship was way up this year which helped bring better attractions.

The Sweetcorn Festival has changed quite a bit since it began in 1982. The first one was sponsored solely by Busey Bank and while Busey is still a sponsor, the massive amount of sponsorship from other companies and institutions shows how much the festival has grown.

It was the first street festival ever to take place in Champaign County and there has been no other festival of it’s kind to be so successful.

While it continues to be a fund-raiser for the local businesses, the sheer volume of local talent and unique attractions, such as antique cars and well-bred dogs, is what really drives the Sweetcorn Festival’s success.

This year, the festival brought an estimated 40,000 people to the downtown Urbana area, up from the usual 30,000 to 35,000. “The last few years have been great, but this year’s turnout really exceeded expectations,” Paraf said. While the Sweetcorn Festival would not be possible without the generous donations from companies in the Champaign-Urbana area, the people and attractions are what really make the festival a success, year after year.

And oh, don’t forget the corn. buzz

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THERE IS STILL SOMETHING REAL FUNKILY GOING ON.

CONSTANCE BEITZEL

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• ARTS EDITOR

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’ve spent all day trying to decide the perfect way to introduce all the new students to the glory that is C-U. I have pages full of admonitions, advice, etc about doing your homework, getting out of your dorm room and basically enjoying college. Then my best friend from high school calls me. Our friend was just killed; hit by a car while riding his bike to my friend’s house after a tennis game. So instead of making fun of smelly bars and frat brothers, let me just give you all one stellar piece of advice: Enjoy people. Don’t be afraid to go meet everyone you see. Whatever you are going to do just make sure it is with people that you love. Open your dorm room doors, sit with lots of different people in the cafeteria and strike up a conversation with whoever is sitting next to you in your lectures.

Everyone is going to tell you that your college years will be the best years of your life.This is because over the next four years you will all meet best friends, lovers, study buddies, bar buddies, the best man at your wedding and right now you have no idea who they are. Those people you see around the Quad will save your life, break your heart, help you with math.

So go do things with these people.

Also, realize that you are paying for the privilege of going to this University. You are paying a lot of money. So learn something. Find something you really enjoy studying and then do that for four years.

And gen-eds suck, but pay attention in them. They are usually a pretty easy A. I guess what I am saying is don’t get a C based on apathy and laziness. If you are going to fail something, let it be because you are dumb. Take pride in having your grades reflect your

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mental ability, not your excessive partying. Being well-rounded is not such a bad thing. Don’t spaz out for a semester and do poorly when you are smart enough to do really well. In four years you will have to put that GPA front and center on the top of your resume.

Chambana is a great place to explore all your interests. If you like theater, join the Penny Dreadful Players. If you like music, form a band: you’ll be playing White Horse (at least) by the time you graduate.

There is improv comedy, poetry readings, art shows, museums, independent movies, copious amounts of awesome local bands, even humourous adaptations of Hamlet, going on all the time. If you like writing and art come write for me here at the Buzz. No, really I’m serious, email me at arts@readbuzz.com.

So I guess what I am saying is enjoy every moment and every person because you could be killed instantly by a minivan. Oh, and do your homework; there is really no excuse to not do your homework.

Work hard, play hard and enjoy the hell out of your next four years.

Check out Michelle Latimer: UI Alum, Trumpeter,Vocalist, and Composer at The Iron Post Sunday, Sept. 4, 2005, 8-10:30pm - Meet Michelle and have a steak at the "Steak Out" onsite from 6-8pm before the show ML Sings and Plays (w/the Michelle Latimer Ensemble, featuring top players from Univ. Illinois faculty and C-U jazz scene) The Iron Post (www.theironpost.com) $3 COVER! Tel. (217)337-POST

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of their three annual wine festivals.

In between visits or shows this is a great fall vacation stop. Get details at www.niagarawinefestival.com.

Featured at the Shaw Festival is Canadian Ann-Marie MacDonald's Belle Moral (to Oct. 7), a powerful drama set in late 19th century Scotland. Alisa Palmer's direction gives us a rich character study that goes beyond gothic melodrama. Two American plays,Wiliiam Inge's Bus Stop (to Nov. 27) and Lillian Hellman's, The Autumn Garden (to October 8) are rich multiple character studies that the splendid ensemble of the Shaw Festival brings to life.

Directors Jackie Maxwell and Martha Henry seem to have an intuitive sense of these American characters and settings.

Shaw's Major Barbara (to Oct. 29) as directed by Joseph Ziegler, is a stylish but talky study of good and evil.This lengthy classic has challenged many a director, and here the discussions seem a bit too endless and void of real meaning. Another British import is the gem of the Festival; R.C. Sheriff's superb World War I play Journey's End (to Oct. 8).

University of Illinois graduate, Christopher Newton, in top form as director, wrings every

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Evan Buliung as Stanhope and Patrick Galligan as Osborne in Journey's End. bit of drama and meaning from this 1928 masterpiece. Rarely has an 80-year-old antiwar play seemed so vivid and relevant.

For information check: www.shawfest.com or call: 1-800-511-SHAW. Be sure to bring proof of citizenship when you visit Canada.

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Judge me all you want, but keep the verdict to yourself.

JEFF NELSON • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

PHOTOS • DAVID COOPER

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Nicole Underhay as Cherie in Bus Stop

ooking for a fall trip with some class? There are late openings at the Stratford and Shaw Theater Festivals in addition to a wine festival nearby that can accommodate all tastes.

As September begins, let's look at all three options: Stratford, Ontario is about ten hours from east central Illinois and is going strong through Nov. 6. Shakespeare

remains the cornerstone of this fifty-year-old institution and this late season you can catch The Tempest (to Oct. 28) and Measure for Measure (to Sept. 24). Richard Monette's fine direction in The Tempest gives us a magical and smooth production with the legendary actor,William Hutt, as a Prospero worthy of any acting legend. Leon Rubin's hard edged production of Measure for Measure lends the Bard's story of political and sexual corruption a very modern look. These fine young actors show the timeless power of this poetic parable.

The plays of Christopher Marlowe (1564-1593) are almost forgotten.A contemporary of Shakespeare, he died at 29 at the peak of his popularity. His violent and poetic tales are somewhat long and seemingly less subtle than the Bard's, but still very worthwhile.

None are more worthwhile than Edward II, a brutal tale of political incompetence. Director Richard Monette provides the appropriate clarifications that bring this 14th century story into the modern

world without losing poetic impact (until Sept. 24).

Two adaptations are causing a good deal of discussion on the Stratford Stages-The Brother's Karamazov, from the Dostoevsky novel as interpreted by Jason Sherman, and The Lark, from Jean Anouilh's play by Lillian Hellman. Richard Rose's direction, with instant scene changes and simultaneous scenes manages to flesh out this major novel in under three hours with fine ensemble acting (through Sept. 24). While Amanda Plummer is simply brilliant as Joan of Arc in Ms. Hellman's treatment of Anouilh's in your face character study of a teenage warrior, nationalist, and saint, she gets considerable help from director Michael Lindsay-Hogg and a fine supporting cast (to Oct. 29).

Three hours away in the Niagara wine country are two wonderful events, the Shaw Festival in Niagara-on-the-Lake and Niagara Wine Festival, headquartered in St. Catharines. The Niagara region is famous for Niagara Falls, its wonderful wine country, and the Shaw Festival. From Sept. 16 -25, St. Catharines will sponsor one

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ar tist’s corner CONSTANCE BEITZEL

• ARTS EDITOR

Rob Lauren McColley is a local musician who fronts his own band called, alternatively, “A Boy Named Laurie,” and “Rob McColley and the Heather.” His latest album, “Insults to an Ex-Girlfriend” is his self-proclaimed, “fervent vituperative vitriol,” delivering exactly what it promises in its title. McColley was born and raised in Champaign-Urbana and currently works as a bartender. Both of his parents were humanities professors, “so there was lots of vocabulary, little to eat.” McColley has worked as an intern for NPR’s “Morning Edition” in Washington, his music has been featured in MTV’s “Sorority Life,” and he also portrayed “the interviewer” in Poster Children’s dvd docudrama “Zero Stars.”

Who is Laurie?

Among my favourite Lauries are Hugh, Piper and the boy from the Shirley Jackson short story. Hugh did a foppish, brilliantine Wooster to Stephen Fry’s Jeeves about 15 years ago. Lately, I’ve been more concerned with their BBC 4 successor duo: Armstrong & Miller. I hope, for the sake of recommendation, you go to print in time for everyone to catch the reruns of their hilarious music critic spoof The Children’s Hour on Thursdays. http://bbc.co.uk/bbc7 What are your plans for the future?

If the heart and lung machine can be extrapolated to function as skin, feet, and liver; I hope to continue pub-crawling through the millennia. I’ll point out that my song “Beta Babies,” from the third record, has already recognized the inherent overpopulation problem

extant within any scientifically rendered ultra-longevity scheme: Meritocracy by popular demand is the only way I can see our way through. But I’m not sufficiently noble to get picked, so my strategy is to be indispensably clever. Like The Onion.

What bands/ songwriters have you been influenced by?

Terry Pratchett. Garrison Keillor. Dirk McQuickly.And they’re all British, except Keillor. Heather’s favourite band is Virginia Woolf. Or at least that’s what’s on her turntable for the last six or seven renewal periods. She’s also been listening repeatedly to Patricia Cornwell’s 11 disc testimony against Victorian slice ‘n dice painter Walter Sickert. He sometimes sat in with The Virgina Woolf gang, you know. But evidently, he only cut up sex workers because he didn’t have a penis. I recommend that one, because it defines and demonstrates the often misused term “psychopathy.”

It states that excessively brilliant people with physical infirmities or shortcomings get a thrill from abusing (taunting or slicing up) their inferiors. Luckily, society has devised liquor licensing schemes to divert their energies.

What is your favorite book?

I spell “favourite” with a U. Did you notice? I suppose it’s odd, in that any coach worth his or her salt would insist “there’s no U in favourite.” But coaches are usually erstwhile players, and players lose a lot of salt. I listen to a lot of books-on-disc. There are some books that I find easy to read, but a lot of books are tricky for me.

Listening to people read is immediately comprehensible to me because I simply can’t listen to my own thoughts at the same time. And I think that’s the trouble with readers’ block: distraction.

IMAGE COURTESY OF ROB LAUREN MCCOLLEY

Rob McColley

What is your favorite place (venue) to play?

We keep a 5” x 5” traveling DKNY (I’m not kidding) chess set with us on the road. We also keep it with us at home, but we tend to use the regular-sized set at home on account of its being facile re: fumbling fingers. I’ve always preferred to play while drinking, see, because I’m not very good anyhow. Ask anybody. I think the Hotel Intercontinental, Montreal, had the best seating/small table/interesting nuts combination. Heather even smoked a cigarette there – because the Francophones pretend they can’t speak English sometimes, probably to keep things interesting.

There’s something about speaking French that makes natively Virginian tobacco blends seem frightfully chic. Smoking is cool.

Of course, I can’t do it anymore. (Laments.)

Correction: Last week’s featured artist, Holly Rushakoff’s website is www.girlseyes.com

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rack.World domination. More crack.

These are The Sound Republic’s self-described plans starting Sept. 2. And while the crack part is most likely a product of their offbeat and mostly off-color humor, this DJ duo from Chicago seems to already be on the path towards domination of the world of house music.

Within the past year, John Mork and Frankie J. Monacella have made a name for themselves in the underground house world as The Sound Republic.

They released several singles, remixed tracks for established figures in the house world, hosted club nights in Chicago, and played across the country. Yet for all the success, the focal point for these longtime friends has always been about fun.

“Some people get really seriously deep with their house music,” Monacella said.“We want to make it fun again and bring things people forgot and make them have a good time.”

When The Sound Republic gets behind the decks, the emphasis again goes back to having a good time but also on keeping things fresh.

“We like to play a lot of new music, including things that haven’t even been officially released yet,” Monacella said.

“It isn’t all about upfront music though,” Mork said.“We do play a lot of stuff that isn’t out yet, but we also drop in classic tracks that hook people in.”

Planning may go into the preparation, but actually playing finds The Sound Republic in a mental groove.

“We focus on working a room,” Mork said. “Usually I’m not thinking about anything specific-except maybe ‘This is why I do this’-and then I am worrying about what I am going to play next to keep people moving.”

And The Sound Republic sound definitely has kept people moving, not only by playing other people’s music, but by creating their own. The Sound Republic’s records have sold all over the world and received heavy play from DJ superstars such as Mark Farina, Heather, Joey Youngman and The Swirl People. Their music has also found fans in Champaign, especially from local DJs. “Their music makes you want to jump up and down,” said J Phlip, who usually plays two or three The Sound Republic songs in her weekly sets.

The song that really got crowds going, and jump started The Sound Republic’s production career was a bootleg remix of Irfane’s “Just A Little Lovin.” They called their version “Just a Little Oven” and gave s o u n d s

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OH CANADA! THEATER FESTIVALS FROM O’ER THE BORDER

Council” and the “Love Glove Dub” remix of Natural Rhythm’s “Dancefloor Jazz” bring in sophomoric but charming humor related to sex.This is all by design according to the duo.

While their humor may be base, their tunes are regarded with high esteem by DJs. “The production value and creativity on Sound Republic records is higher than 95 percent of the records I own,” Mertz said. “Every cut also has great sound quality.”

Mork and Monacella are no strangers to central Illinois.

They met when they were both students at Illinois State University in Bloomington-Normal, Ill. “I was friends with some raver kids in Bloomington that knew Frankie,” Mork said.

“I wanted to learn how to spin hip hop and drum ‘n’ bass so I got in touch with Frankie.

That was in 1998.”

Monacella had already been doing live performances of house music and spinning drum ‘n’ bass. Soon Mork picked up enough skills to start playing out. But early on, both Monacella and Mork didn’t have much of a scene to play to.

“People were only casually going to raves.

There might have been only been about 15 people at the start, but it grew more and more each year,” Mork stated.

The duo joined with other Bloomington DJs to form the Central Illinois Alliance (CIA). In a few short years CIA turned Bloomington into the hottest spot for raves and electronic music in central Illinois.

“Near the end we stood back and saw how we turned all these college kids into face-chewing raver kids,” Mork said with a laugh. “It was kinda scary.”

Over those years, Monacella changed his sounds between drum ‘n’ bass, two step, breaks before eventually returning to house. And while each has the talent and experience to stake out in the DJ world on their own, they both realize the benefits of working as a duo.

“It is really hard to do this thing by yourself,” Monacella said.

“There is a lot more to it than playing records. There is handshaking and being a part of a scene.”

“Two are better than one for accomplishing all of that. I don’t understand how people do it all by themselves.”

In addition to performing their own music, The Sound Republic is hosting a monthly night in Chicago at Lava that has hosted big names in house such as Swirl People and Jonene.

Called Grizzled, it has a definite sweaty house party feel where average club goers can share a seat next to the bar with worldwide stars like Derrick Carter and Justin Long.

Despite the jokes, the sweaty nights and the party atmosphere, Mertz expects The Sound Republic to be a perfect fit at Soma’s posh settings. Even with Thursday night being an extra special white party where guests are encouraged to wear white.

“They’re going to cover the ‘party’ part of the white party and I suspect make a lot of fans in Champaign,” Mertz said.

Humorous to the end, Mork offers fashion advice to those would be fans on how to dress in white.

“Wear polar bear suits,” Mork said.

Maybe that crack thing isn’t a joke after all. buzz

themselves the fake names of Francis Jilla and Johnny Drama because they did not clear the original Sarah Vaughn sample.The track, with its waltz tempo breakdown, became an instant hit.

“Oven” was relentlessly played and often referred to as the best song of the 2005 Winter Music Conference, the largest dance music event in the world. The Sound Republic’s reaction to the response for their “little” tune?

“Shock and awe,” Mork said.

“It really was the beginning for us and opened a lot of doors for us,” Monacella said.

Since “Oven,” The Sound Republic has been able to release their first EP (The Scrambles McSuperstuff EP) which was a top seller online and flew out of nearly all American house record shops. The duo has also done remixes for Natural Rhythm, Eastbound and Bryan Jones.

The Sound Republic cuts are usually frantic, jam-packed with drum fills, odd sounds and funky basslines. They write their tracks solely with software and the process is always collaborative.

“We take a folder full of samples and crap and then work on coming up with a beat. Sometimes it is really wack,” Monacella said.

“It is trial and error with bringing samples into our framework,” Mork said. “Once we get it where we like it, we polish and tweak the track.”

Most Sound Republic tracks and remixes revolve around one theme, and that theme often can be unusual. The “Government Cheese” remix of Chris Grant’s “Jimmy Jam” contains bizarre spoken samples about food. Other remixes and tracks such as “Up The

The Sound Republic will appear at Soma Sept.1 with DJs Mertz and J-Phlip

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Ravish Momin’s Trio Tarana Climbing The Banyan Tree

News.

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Ravish Momin didn’t begin playing music until 18 and even then didn’t study music full-time. “I knew right away that I wouldn’t have the same ‘natural’approach as someone who’s been playing since they were five yearsold,” says Momin. “So, I was able to think more about applying different kinds of beats consciously...instead of simply having ‘muscle memory,’ I approached it more mentally at first.” Ravish accomplishes this difficult merging of cultures in his music without kitsch or stale overconceptualization despite his unassuming background.

Trio Tarana is Momin’s project in acoustic Eastern jazz.

Though there’s a consistent Eastern focus, with both folk songs and original material, no song is without a sense of swing. Momin studied with drummer Bob Moses, who taught him the importance of groove in music, something he injects into these unconventional pieces. Momin’s fills are never the natural, legato lines one would expect; he utilizies uncommon techniques such as the press roll to the point of minimalism;. At this juncture, they become a natural part of his sound.

Violinist Jason Kao Hwang is a source of electricity.

Hwang applies sheets of sound to his normally linear instrument, using truly every resource available to him. Shanir Ezra Blumenkranz (of Jewish jazz combo Satlah) plays bass and oud, the latter an instrument that rarely appears in jazz - contrary to popular belief, Ahmed Abdul-Malik didn’t play oud at Coltrane’s Village Vanguard residency, but rather tamboura. The default configuration of the trio unfortunately lacks one important element: the power of human breath in music. Momin must have observed this, because he introduces his voice into the mix.

Climbing The Banyan Tree is a excellent distillation of many musical cultures, and thanks to the Trio’s work, is even enjoyable for those unaware of the music’s background.

Operation Snowball, an organization designed to help teens mature into responsible, accountable adults, is looking for someone to lead a Tuesday comedy night for high school teenagers. Comedy nights will be held on Nov. 8 from 7:009:00 p.m. and Nov. 15 at the same time. If you’re interested in the position, contact Robert Silverman at 337-5809 or ccos@champaignsnowball.org.

PHOTO COURTESY OF CHAMPAIGNSNOWBALL.ORG

Ravish Momin and the Trio Tarana will be appearing tonight at the Krannert Art Museum as part of their Sudden Sound series.

The free show begins at 7:30.

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YOU HAVE VERY NICE..........SHOES.

buzz picks

My Masterpiece Will Be a Burning Museum September 1 at 8pm at The Courtyard in the Illini Union $2 students/$3 general public + + + + + + + + + + +

My Masterpiece Will Be a Burning Museum (MMWBABM) goes beyond the gritty guitars, skull beating drum and guttural screams of the hardcore music scene. They’re hardcore in not practicing and in throwing dodge balls in their performances. And though some say the band started off as a whimsical project, the members of MMWBABM will swear on their giant dice that they are serious musicians.

MMWBABM played their first show in PHOTO COURTESY OF MMWBABM the basement of guitarist Will Zeiger’s Urbana house for a Halloween party. The band 's debut was a headline gig for an all hardcore show. Lead singer Matt Yasecko dressed as a bumblebee that drank honey from a bear between songs. The band tossed giant black and silver dice into the crowd to decide the tempo of their songs. The crowd swayed and danced violently to express their enjoyment. From then on MMWBABM developed a following that seems to grow with each show.

“We have a lack of fear. A lot of hardcore bands live in fear of their fans,” Yasecko said, “ And we just totally despise our fans. So one of our main goals is to anger everyone we can, because that’s what hardcore’s about.”

“We’re pretty sick of the fans who just come to listen. I mean music is just more than listening. It’s an active thing,” Zeiger said. “So if you come to one of our shows, we expect you to be immersed in it, to be as much a part of it as we are.”

Some of the live show antics include dividing the audience for a dodge ball game, passing out shakers for an audience percussion section and rolling dice to decide the band’s next move. The band also comes out with a homemade Mad-Lib sheet of lyrics for the audience to complete the chorus of a song.

“We give (the audience) the tools. They’re the carpenters of the whole masterpiece,” said guitarist Chris Ericson.

+ SUNDAY September 4 Live Music The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Michelle Latimer Quintet [jazz] Iron Post, 8:30pm, $3 Dropsixx, Justify the Means, Machines The Think The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ DJ Wesjile [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free Labor Day Party Nargile, 9pm, $5 Mike Rocks [live concert videos and local music] Tommy G's, 9:30pm, TBA Jon Meske [house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

MONDAY September 5 Live Music Love & Joy [comedy and live R&B] Canopy Club, 10pm, $3 Motown Mondays: As Is Nargile, 7pm, $5 Jazz Jam with ParaDocs Iron Post, 8-11pm, TBA Chris and Jim [cover band] White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Finga Lickin' The Office, 10:30pm, free

-Susie An

Quad Remedy [classic rock] Tommy G’s, 10pm, free Open Mic Night hosted by Brandon T. Washington Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free DJ DJ Delayney [hip hop/soul] Barfly, 10pm, free Mixtape Mondays: DJ Elise, TBA [house] Boltini, 10pm, free

TUESDAY September 6 Live Music Bluegrass Jam Verde Gallery, 7-9:30pm, free Open Jam/Open Mic hosted by Brandon T. Washington Canopy Club, 9pm, 21+/free, $2/under 21 The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Adam Wolfe's Acoustic Night with Jess Greenlee Tommy G's, 10pm, free Open Stage Espresso Royale, Goodwin & Oregon, 8pm, free Larry Gates [acoustic] White Horse Inn, 10pm, free DJ DJ Reaganomics [80’s requests] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Subversion: DJ ZoZo, DJ Evily, DJ TwinScin [goth/industrial/electro] The Highdive, 10pm, $2

+ + + + + +

DJ Chef Ra [roots, reggae] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ JB [roots, reggae] Barfly, 10pm, free Contact: DJ Rapheal Kroshay, TBA [drum n’ bass night] Nargile, 9pm, free DJ Missus Mike n' Molly's, 10pm, TBA

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Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti's, 10pm-2am, free Outlaw Karaoke White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, free Salsa Dancing [salsa/mambo/bachata] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free

+ + + + +

Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Neil St. Pub, 8pm-12am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's, 9pm-1am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke and DJ Track's, 9pm-1am Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free Babies’ Lap Time [songs, stories and rhymes for the youngest patrons, birth-24 mo., with an adult] Urbana Free Library, 10:30-11am, free Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free

buzz weekly •

WILL YOU COME TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY?

TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

L

ast Friday, American Minor released its self-titled album amid much merriment. After solid sets by Thee Shams and Lorenzo Goetz, American Minor plowed through 14 and a half songs; many more elaborate than usual thanks to inclusion of special intros and outros. Additional personnel included Jesse Greenlee (Lorenzo Goetz) on percussion and Paul Lyons on organ and keyboards. Highlights included a medley of “Papa Was a Rollin’ Stone,” the non-album track “Movin’ on Up,” and power ballad “All My Time” which included a piano intro. American Minor played everything on their album and ended with a well-received cover of “Whipping Post” by The Allman Brothers Band.

All this despite the fact American Minor frontman Robert McCutcheon had injured his hand hours before; not to be outdone, Lorenzo Goetz guitarist Josh Miethe had outright broken his.

Triple Whip spent August 19-26 at Pogo Studio recording its Snake Creeps Down EP with Mark Rubel, mastered by original drummer Brett Sanderson.

Triple Whip and Innocent Words Records separated, and the upcoming EP will be a self-release. On Aug. 29, the trio recorded a live set for WEFT Sessions. Triple Whip next performs Sept. 30 at Cowboy Monkey with Lorenzo Goetz, The Championship, and elsinore. Show time is 9 p.m., and cover is $5. The release party for Snake Creeps Down, doubling as a Halloween bash, will be held Oct. 29 with Dianogah (last here Summer 2002) and Nonagon. Show time is 9 p.m.

OpeningBands.com resumes its showcases tonight at Cowboy Monkey, the first installment in a monthly series features Eclectic Theory, Sick Day, Stilline and mad mardigan.The four bands will appear on a full-length album together, covering one another’s songs. In addition, Sick Day will issue a follow-up to its Garage Sale and Happy Ending EPs to include the set staple “Jenny.” Show time is 9 p.m., and cover is $5. This is the first mad mardigan show; the second is Saturday at The Iron Post with Adam Wolfe and The Stereotypes. Show time is 10 p.m. mad mardigan features guitarist-vocalist Jack Marck, bassist Rory Grennan, and drummer Joe Funderburk.

Also Saturday at 10 p.m.: Mike ‘n Molly’s hosts its last outdoor show of the year with Anomic, JigGsaw, and Friends of Steve (ex-Balisong). Anomic mixed its EP Sunday and only needs to master and package it for release.

JigGsaw is due to issue Zero Generation on Playing Field Recordings next year.

This is Friends of Steve’s first show. Cover is $4.

Wednesday at The Canopy Club, The Reputation (ex-Sarge) kicks off an eleven-state tour. The Beauty Shop and Shipwreck round out the bill.

Show time is 10 p.m., and cover is $5.

Lectures, Meetings, Workshops Open Poetry Night [writers may read their own work or just listen] Illini Union Bookstore,7-8 pm Fitness Yoga Illini Union Room 304, 7pm, free

Art&T heater Annual Parkland Art and Design Faculty Exhibition Parkland Art Gallery through September 22 Possibilities [works by U of I Alum and local ar tist Sandra Ahten] Illini Union Art Gallery through September Artist reception September 1, 5:30-7:30pm Backstage Pass [a series of limited edition entertainment photos taken by Paul Idleman in Colorado between 1978 and 2000. Some of the biggest names in the biz are represented: Elton John, Bruce Springsteen, Huey Lewis, Sam Kinison, John Hartford, Jay Leno, etc.]

Cinema Gallery through September 24 Living Language: Painting and Poetry Unite by Marie Mamaril [watercolor and acrylic on canvas] Pages for All Ages through September 14 Andy Warhol: The Complete 1979 Diamond Dust Shadow Series, Editions I-V and The Shadow and Other SelfPotraits, 1977-1981 University Gallery in Normal, IL through October 2 Exhibition tour led by director Barry Blinderman September 7, 7pm

Todd J. Hunter hosts WEFT Sessions and Champaign Local 901, two hours of live local music every Monday night at 10 p.m. on 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com.

Art With Intention Open Studio [Individually directed drop-in studio time allowing adults to explore their creative voices.

Instructed by Sandra Ahten] Thursdays, 4-9pm Visit www.spiritofsandra.com for details and location

Chiropractic Honors the Body’s Ability to Heal Itself, Naturally HEADACHE • FATIGUE NECK AND BACK PAIN ACCIDENT OR TRAUMA CHRONIC PAIN • HEADACHES WELLNESS PROGRAMS STRESS RELATED PAIN NEW PATIENTS ONLY LEG AND ARM PAIN

Aroma Cafe is looking for artists to exhibit their work.

If you are interested in exhibiting your art, please contact Amanda Bickel, art coordinator at Aroma Cafe, at art4aroma@yahoo.com

Dr. Joseph Snell

Live Music Apollo Poetics Nargile, 10pm, free

1802 Woodfield Dr . 217-352-9899 . 2 Blocks north of Savoy 16 s o u n d s

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708 S. Goodwin 18+ Urbana, IL 344-BAND 344-BAND

www .canop y club.com Every Sunday!

1-22 -33 -44 J ukebox $1 Domestic Pints, $2 Import Pints, $3 Calls, $4 Domestic Pitchers Every M onday!

Love & Joy: Comedy & Live R & B!!

$2 Amarettos & $1.75 Budweiser drafts Every T uesday!

OPEN MIC/JAM $2 Long Islands! $1 PBR Drafts!

Thursday, Sept 1

Friday, Sept 2

with Rocco Deluca

Wednesday, Sept 7

Thursday, Sept 15

Tuesday, Sept 20

Call for Fine Art and Crafts Donations [Donations of any size, medium or style are needed for the Hands of Hope Art Auction to benefit the Illinois Chapter of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. New works that represent our theme of hope, healing or transformation are encouraged but not required. Contact Rebecca Plummer Rohloff at 328-3059 or rrohloff@uiuc.edu for more information.]

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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Tremblin BG Barfly, 10pm, free DJ JB [hip hop music videos] Nargile, 9pm, free DJ J-Phlip [house] Boltini, 10pm, free CFK [house] Chester St., 10pm, TBA

WEDNESDAY September 7

Chambana Jackson’s Ribs-n-Tips, 8-10pm Ed O'Hara and Friends Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Blues Night: Kilborn Alley Tommy G's, 10pm, free Urbana Booking Co. presents: The Beauty Shop, The Reputation, Shipwreck Canopy Club, doors at 9pm, show at 10pm, $5 Green Mountain Grass Iron Post, 9pm, TBA

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Wednesday, Sept 21

L O N G

B E A C H

UPCOMING SHOWS: Thurs Sept 22: T h e B i g W u Friday Sept 23: G r o o v a t r o n Sunday Sept 25: N u m b e r s Thurs Sept 29: U m p h r e y ’ s M c G e e Fri & Sat Oct 7 & 8: Lucky Boys Confusion Sunday Oct 9: Les Claypool Tickets for advance shows on sale now at: Exile on Main Street, The Canopy Club, Family Pride, Bacca Cigar, 4 i

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

11 legibility for communication. ©2005 Anheuser-Busch, Inc. B E Flavored Beer, St. Louis, MO

Never mistake

David Carson • Graphic Designer

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO LIST A POSTING E-MAIL CALENDAR@READBUZZ.COM BY SUNDAY NIGHT.

DJ Generic DJ Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8pm, TBA DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, electro] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Elise [house] Boltini, 10pm, free Solace: DJ J-Phlip, DJ Mertz, The Sound Republic [deep house] Soma, 10pm, free Ladies’ Night: featuring Luis Vasquez, DJ Res Tuly, DJ Black Ice [hip hop, dance, reggae, reggaeton, salsa] Nargile, 9pm, Ladies free before $9, Men $5 DJ Stiffler [80's hair metal] Tommy G's, 9pm, free Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Pia's of Rantoul, 9pm-1am, free Dancing UIUC Swing Society McKinley Foundation 9:30pm-12am, free

Health and Fitness Group Meditation Ananda Liina, 2308 N. High Cross Rd., Urbana, 5:30pm, free Wine Tasting Krannert Uncorked Krannert Art Center Lobby 5pm, free Lectures, Meetings, Discussions Cosmopolitan Club Coffee Hour [Sample coffee, tea and homemade ethnic desserts from Israel] Cosmopolitan Club, 307 E. John St., 7:30-9:30pm, free Environmental Action Night [featuring Students for Environmental Concerns, the Alaska Coalition, Red Bison, Campus Greens, Sierra Club and others] University YMCA, 6-9pm, free Kids Funfare [stories, songs, puppets, and films for children and their caregivers] Urbana Free Library 10:30-11am, free

FRIDAY September 2 Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Eclectic Theory White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Will Rogers Band [country/Southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Holly Holmes Quartet [jazz] Mike n' Molly's, 5-7pm, $3 The Prairie Dogs Iron Post, 5-7pm, TBA Jammin' Jimmy Bean Tommy G's, 5-7pm, free Desafinado [bossanova] Cowboy Monkey, 5:30pm, free First Friday Art Show: As One, Kilborn Alley, Jiggsaw, Green Light Go, Eclectic Theory, Krukid v.

Sanya N' kanta, Apollo Project, DJ Motion, DJ Impact, DJ Raphael Kroshay, TBA Nargile, 6pm, $8 "The Best of Broadway" presented by the Indianapolis Jazz Orchestra Virginia Theatre, 7:30pm $15 adults, $13 students Ryan Groff, Darrin Drda, Larry Gates, Joni Laurence [in the round] Jackson Ave. Coffeehouse, 8pm, free Bobby Conn, Animate Objects, 1900's The Courtyard, 9pm, $3 UIUC students, $5 public Lifehouse, Rocco Deluca Canopy Club, 10pm, $15 in advance, $17 at the door Pirates of the Boneyard [southern rock/classic rock covers] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover DJ DJ Elise [deep house, broken beat] Boltini, 6-10pm, free DJ J-Phlip [house] Boltini, 10pm, free DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm-2am DJ Bonsu, DJ Impact [hip hop, Chicago deep house] Nargile, 9pm, TBA DJ Delayney [hip hop, soul] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10:30pm, $5 Circuit Pulse: DJ Randall Ellison [Hi-NRG, Eurodance, hard house] Chester St., 10pm, $3 Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am, TBA Karaoke American Legion, 8pm-1am, TBA

buzz picks

Of Montreal at The

and The

Management

Canopy Club Friday, September 1 Doors open at 9pm show at 10pm, $10 Athens, GA-based band Of Montreal once again passes though ChampaignUrbana, this time at the Canopy Club in east Campustown. This date is part of the Fall leg of their Sunlandic Twins Tour in support of the album of the same name that was released on local record label Polyvinyl.

-Cassie Conner

SATURDAY September 3 Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Holly Holmes Borders, 8pm, free Jaded Kayne, From These Remains, Seven Year Existence, Aralayus Canopy Club, 9pm, $5 Lorenzo Goetz, Hockey Night, 1900's The Courtyard, 9pm, $3 UIUC students, $5 general public Candy Foster and Shades of Blue Cowboy Monkey, 9:30pm, $4 Jiggsaw, Friends of Steve, Anomic Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, $4 Adam Wolfe, The Stereotypes, Mad Mardigan Iron Post, 10pm, TBA Cemetery Gates [Pantera tribute band], Rebels Without Applause [metal] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover

Nargile, 10pm DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm, TBA DJ Night Paulie's, 9pm, free DJ Resonate [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Elise [house] Boltini, 10pm, free DJ White Horse Inn, 10pm, free "G" Force DJ The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's, 9pm-1am, free Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages, 11am, free

DJ DJ Asiatic, DJ Dice [R&B, hip hop]

pg.18

Live Music Shovelrack White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Will Rogers Band [country/Southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, free Urbana Booking Co. presents: Process of a Still Life Canopy Club, 7pm, free U of I Jazz Combos Iron Post, 7pm, TBA Acoustic at Aroma: Chad Reipel [folk/alt/rock] Burning Love Letters, My Masterpiece Will Be a Burning Museum The Courtyard, 8pm, TBA Urbana Booking Co. presents: Of Montreal, The Management Canopy Club, 10pm, $10 Openingbands.com Showcase: mad mardigan, Stilline, Sick Day, Eclectic Theory Cowboy Monkey, 8pm, $5 Green Mountain Grass Mike n' Molly's, 9pm, $4 Chambana [jazz] Zorba's, 9:30pm, $3 Kilborn Alley

Joe's Brewery, 8-11pm, TBA Ravish Momin's Trio Tarana Krannert Art Museum, 7:30pm

Puzzle

THURSDAY September 1

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

The beer with caffeine, ginseng, guarana and a crisp refreshing taste that gives the night a whole new spin. budextra.com

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I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

11 legibility for communication. ©2005 Anheuser-Busch, Inc. B E Flavored Beer, St. Louis, MO

Never mistake

David Carson • Graphic Designer

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO LIST A POSTING E-MAIL CALENDAR@READBUZZ.COM BY SUNDAY NIGHT.

DJ Generic DJ Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8pm, TBA DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, electro] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Elise [house] Boltini, 10pm, free Solace: DJ J-Phlip, DJ Mertz, The Sound Republic [deep house] Soma, 10pm, free Ladies’ Night: featuring Luis Vasquez, DJ Res Tuly, DJ Black Ice [hip hop, dance, reggae, reggaeton, salsa] Nargile, 9pm, Ladies free before $9, Men $5 DJ Stiffler [80's hair metal] Tommy G's, 9pm, free Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Pia's of Rantoul, 9pm-1am, free Dancing UIUC Swing Society McKinley Foundation 9:30pm-12am, free

Health and Fitness Group Meditation Ananda Liina, 2308 N. High Cross Rd., Urbana, 5:30pm, free Wine Tasting Krannert Uncorked Krannert Art Center Lobby 5pm, free Lectures, Meetings, Discussions Cosmopolitan Club Coffee Hour [Sample coffee, tea and homemade ethnic desserts from Israel] Cosmopolitan Club, 307 E. John St., 7:30-9:30pm, free Environmental Action Night [featuring Students for Environmental Concerns, the Alaska Coalition, Red Bison, Campus Greens, Sierra Club and others] University YMCA, 6-9pm, free Kids Funfare [stories, songs, puppets, and films for children and their caregivers] Urbana Free Library 10:30-11am, free

FRIDAY September 2 Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Eclectic Theory White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Will Rogers Band [country/Southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Holly Holmes Quartet [jazz] Mike n' Molly's, 5-7pm, $3 The Prairie Dogs Iron Post, 5-7pm, TBA Jammin' Jimmy Bean Tommy G's, 5-7pm, free Desafinado [bossanova] Cowboy Monkey, 5:30pm, free First Friday Art Show: As One, Kilborn Alley, Jiggsaw, Green Light Go, Eclectic Theory, Krukid v.

Sanya N' kanta, Apollo Project, DJ Motion, DJ Impact, DJ Raphael Kroshay, TBA Nargile, 6pm, $8 "The Best of Broadway" presented by the Indianapolis Jazz Orchestra Virginia Theatre, 7:30pm $15 adults, $13 students Ryan Groff, Darrin Drda, Larry Gates, Joni Laurence [in the round] Jackson Ave. Coffeehouse, 8pm, free Bobby Conn, Animate Objects, 1900's The Courtyard, 9pm, $3 UIUC students, $5 public Lifehouse, Rocco Deluca Canopy Club, 10pm, $15 in advance, $17 at the door Pirates of the Boneyard [southern rock/classic rock covers] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover DJ DJ Elise [deep house, broken beat] Boltini, 6-10pm, free DJ J-Phlip [house] Boltini, 10pm, free DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm-2am DJ Bonsu, DJ Impact [hip hop, Chicago deep house] Nargile, 9pm, TBA DJ Delayney [hip hop, soul] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10:30pm, $5 Circuit Pulse: DJ Randall Ellison [Hi-NRG, Eurodance, hard house] Chester St., 10pm, $3 Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am, TBA Karaoke American Legion, 8pm-1am, TBA

buzz picks

Of Montreal at The

and The

Management

Canopy Club Friday, September 1 Doors open at 9pm show at 10pm, $10 Athens, GA-based band Of Montreal once again passes though ChampaignUrbana, this time at the Canopy Club in east Campustown. This date is part of the Fall leg of their Sunlandic Twins Tour in support of the album of the same name that was released on local record label Polyvinyl.

-Cassie Conner

SATURDAY September 3 Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Holly Holmes Borders, 8pm, free Jaded Kayne, From These Remains, Seven Year Existence, Aralayus Canopy Club, 9pm, $5 Lorenzo Goetz, Hockey Night, 1900's The Courtyard, 9pm, $3 UIUC students, $5 general public Candy Foster and Shades of Blue Cowboy Monkey, 9:30pm, $4 Jiggsaw, Friends of Steve, Anomic Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, $4 Adam Wolfe, The Stereotypes, Mad Mardigan Iron Post, 10pm, TBA Cemetery Gates [Pantera tribute band], Rebels Without Applause [metal] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover

Nargile, 10pm DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm, TBA DJ Night Paulie's, 9pm, free DJ Resonate [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Elise [house] Boltini, 10pm, free DJ White Horse Inn, 10pm, free "G" Force DJ The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's, 9pm-1am, free Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages, 11am, free

DJ DJ Asiatic, DJ Dice [R&B, hip hop]

pg.18

Live Music Shovelrack White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Will Rogers Band [country/Southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, free Urbana Booking Co. presents: Process of a Still Life Canopy Club, 7pm, free U of I Jazz Combos Iron Post, 7pm, TBA Acoustic at Aroma: Chad Reipel [folk/alt/rock] Burning Love Letters, My Masterpiece Will Be a Burning Museum The Courtyard, 8pm, TBA Urbana Booking Co. presents: Of Montreal, The Management Canopy Club, 10pm, $10 Openingbands.com Showcase: mad mardigan, Stilline, Sick Day, Eclectic Theory Cowboy Monkey, 8pm, $5 Green Mountain Grass Mike n' Molly's, 9pm, $4 Chambana [jazz] Zorba's, 9:30pm, $3 Kilborn Alley

Joe's Brewery, 8-11pm, TBA Ravish Momin's Trio Tarana Krannert Art Museum, 7:30pm

Puzzle

THURSDAY September 1

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

The beer with caffeine, ginseng, guarana and a crisp refreshing taste that gives the night a whole new spin. budextra.com

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s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

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I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

YOU HAVE VERY NICE..........SHOES.

buzz picks

My Masterpiece Will Be a Burning Museum September 1 at 8pm at The Courtyard in the Illini Union $2 students/$3 general public + + + + + + + + + + +

My Masterpiece Will Be a Burning Museum (MMWBABM) goes beyond the gritty guitars, skull beating drum and guttural screams of the hardcore music scene. They’re hardcore in not practicing and in throwing dodge balls in their performances. And though some say the band started off as a whimsical project, the members of MMWBABM will swear on their giant dice that they are serious musicians.

MMWBABM played their first show in PHOTO COURTESY OF MMWBABM the basement of guitarist Will Zeiger’s Urbana house for a Halloween party. The band 's debut was a headline gig for an all hardcore show. Lead singer Matt Yasecko dressed as a bumblebee that drank honey from a bear between songs. The band tossed giant black and silver dice into the crowd to decide the tempo of their songs. The crowd swayed and danced violently to express their enjoyment. From then on MMWBABM developed a following that seems to grow with each show.

“We have a lack of fear. A lot of hardcore bands live in fear of their fans,” Yasecko said, “ And we just totally despise our fans. So one of our main goals is to anger everyone we can, because that’s what hardcore’s about.”

“We’re pretty sick of the fans who just come to listen. I mean music is just more than listening. It’s an active thing,” Zeiger said. “So if you come to one of our shows, we expect you to be immersed in it, to be as much a part of it as we are.”

Some of the live show antics include dividing the audience for a dodge ball game, passing out shakers for an audience percussion section and rolling dice to decide the band’s next move. The band also comes out with a homemade Mad-Lib sheet of lyrics for the audience to complete the chorus of a song.

“We give (the audience) the tools. They’re the carpenters of the whole masterpiece,” said guitarist Chris Ericson.

+ SUNDAY September 4 Live Music The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Michelle Latimer Quintet [jazz] Iron Post, 8:30pm, $3 Dropsixx, Justify the Means, Machines The Think The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ DJ Wesjile [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free Labor Day Party Nargile, 9pm, $5 Mike Rocks [live concert videos and local music] Tommy G's, 9:30pm, TBA Jon Meske [house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

MONDAY September 5 Live Music Love & Joy [comedy and live R&B] Canopy Club, 10pm, $3 Motown Mondays: As Is Nargile, 7pm, $5 Jazz Jam with ParaDocs Iron Post, 8-11pm, TBA Chris and Jim [cover band] White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Finga Lickin' The Office, 10:30pm, free

-Susie An

Quad Remedy [classic rock] Tommy G’s, 10pm, free Open Mic Night hosted by Brandon T. Washington Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free DJ DJ Delayney [hip hop/soul] Barfly, 10pm, free Mixtape Mondays: DJ Elise, TBA [house] Boltini, 10pm, free

TUESDAY September 6 Live Music Bluegrass Jam Verde Gallery, 7-9:30pm, free Open Jam/Open Mic hosted by Brandon T. Washington Canopy Club, 9pm, 21+/free, $2/under 21 The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Adam Wolfe's Acoustic Night with Jess Greenlee Tommy G's, 10pm, free Open Stage Espresso Royale, Goodwin & Oregon, 8pm, free Larry Gates [acoustic] White Horse Inn, 10pm, free DJ DJ Reaganomics [80’s requests] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Subversion: DJ ZoZo, DJ Evily, DJ TwinScin [goth/industrial/electro] The Highdive, 10pm, $2

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DJ Chef Ra [roots, reggae] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ JB [roots, reggae] Barfly, 10pm, free Contact: DJ Rapheal Kroshay, TBA [drum n’ bass night] Nargile, 9pm, free DJ Missus Mike n' Molly's, 10pm, TBA

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Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti's, 10pm-2am, free Outlaw Karaoke White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, free Salsa Dancing [salsa/mambo/bachata] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free

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Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Neil St. Pub, 8pm-12am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's, 9pm-1am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke and DJ Track's, 9pm-1am Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free Babies’ Lap Time [songs, stories and rhymes for the youngest patrons, birth-24 mo., with an adult] Urbana Free Library, 10:30-11am, free Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free

buzz weekly •

WILL YOU COME TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY?

TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

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ast Friday, American Minor released its self-titled album amid much merriment. After solid sets by Thee Shams and Lorenzo Goetz, American Minor plowed through 14 and a half songs; many more elaborate than usual thanks to inclusion of special intros and outros. Additional personnel included Jesse Greenlee (Lorenzo Goetz) on percussion and Paul Lyons on organ and keyboards. Highlights included a medley of “Papa Was a Rollin’ Stone,” the non-album track “Movin’ on Up,” and power ballad “All My Time” which included a piano intro. American Minor played everything on their album and ended with a well-received cover of “Whipping Post” by The Allman Brothers Band.

All this despite the fact American Minor frontman Robert McCutcheon had injured his hand hours before; not to be outdone, Lorenzo Goetz guitarist Josh Miethe had outright broken his.

Triple Whip spent August 19-26 at Pogo Studio recording its Snake Creeps Down EP with Mark Rubel, mastered by original drummer Brett Sanderson.

Triple Whip and Innocent Words Records separated, and the upcoming EP will be a self-release. On Aug. 29, the trio recorded a live set for WEFT Sessions. Triple Whip next performs Sept. 30 at Cowboy Monkey with Lorenzo Goetz, The Championship, and elsinore. Show time is 9 p.m., and cover is $5. The release party for Snake Creeps Down, doubling as a Halloween bash, will be held Oct. 29 with Dianogah (last here Summer 2002) and Nonagon. Show time is 9 p.m.

OpeningBands.com resumes its showcases tonight at Cowboy Monkey, the first installment in a monthly series features Eclectic Theory, Sick Day, Stilline and mad mardigan.The four bands will appear on a full-length album together, covering one another’s songs. In addition, Sick Day will issue a follow-up to its Garage Sale and Happy Ending EPs to include the set staple “Jenny.” Show time is 9 p.m., and cover is $5. This is the first mad mardigan show; the second is Saturday at The Iron Post with Adam Wolfe and The Stereotypes. Show time is 10 p.m. mad mardigan features guitarist-vocalist Jack Marck, bassist Rory Grennan, and drummer Joe Funderburk.

Also Saturday at 10 p.m.: Mike ‘n Molly’s hosts its last outdoor show of the year with Anomic, JigGsaw, and Friends of Steve (ex-Balisong). Anomic mixed its EP Sunday and only needs to master and package it for release.

JigGsaw is due to issue Zero Generation on Playing Field Recordings next year.

This is Friends of Steve’s first show. Cover is $4.

Wednesday at The Canopy Club, The Reputation (ex-Sarge) kicks off an eleven-state tour. The Beauty Shop and Shipwreck round out the bill.

Show time is 10 p.m., and cover is $5.

Lectures, Meetings, Workshops Open Poetry Night [writers may read their own work or just listen] Illini Union Bookstore,7-8 pm Fitness Yoga Illini Union Room 304, 7pm, free

Art&T heater Annual Parkland Art and Design Faculty Exhibition Parkland Art Gallery through September 22 Possibilities [works by U of I Alum and local ar tist Sandra Ahten] Illini Union Art Gallery through September Artist reception September 1, 5:30-7:30pm Backstage Pass [a series of limited edition entertainment photos taken by Paul Idleman in Colorado between 1978 and 2000. Some of the biggest names in the biz are represented: Elton John, Bruce Springsteen, Huey Lewis, Sam Kinison, John Hartford, Jay Leno, etc.]

Cinema Gallery through September 24 Living Language: Painting and Poetry Unite by Marie Mamaril [watercolor and acrylic on canvas] Pages for All Ages through September 14 Andy Warhol: The Complete 1979 Diamond Dust Shadow Series, Editions I-V and The Shadow and Other SelfPotraits, 1977-1981 University Gallery in Normal, IL through October 2 Exhibition tour led by director Barry Blinderman September 7, 7pm

Todd J. Hunter hosts WEFT Sessions and Champaign Local 901, two hours of live local music every Monday night at 10 p.m. on 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com.

Art With Intention Open Studio [Individually directed drop-in studio time allowing adults to explore their creative voices.

Instructed by Sandra Ahten] Thursdays, 4-9pm Visit www.spiritofsandra.com for details and location

Chiropractic Honors the Body’s Ability to Heal Itself, Naturally HEADACHE • FATIGUE NECK AND BACK PAIN ACCIDENT OR TRAUMA CHRONIC PAIN • HEADACHES WELLNESS PROGRAMS STRESS RELATED PAIN NEW PATIENTS ONLY LEG AND ARM PAIN

Aroma Cafe is looking for artists to exhibit their work.

If you are interested in exhibiting your art, please contact Amanda Bickel, art coordinator at Aroma Cafe, at art4aroma@yahoo.com

Dr. Joseph Snell

Live Music Apollo Poetics Nargile, 10pm, free

1802 Woodfield Dr . 217-352-9899 . 2 Blocks north of Savoy 16 s o u n d s

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www .canop y club.com Every Sunday!

1-22 -33 -44 J ukebox $1 Domestic Pints, $2 Import Pints, $3 Calls, $4 Domestic Pitchers Every M onday!

Love & Joy: Comedy & Live R & B!!

$2 Amarettos & $1.75 Budweiser drafts Every T uesday!

OPEN MIC/JAM $2 Long Islands! $1 PBR Drafts!

Thursday, Sept 1

Friday, Sept 2

with Rocco Deluca

Wednesday, Sept 7

Thursday, Sept 15

Tuesday, Sept 20

Call for Fine Art and Crafts Donations [Donations of any size, medium or style are needed for the Hands of Hope Art Auction to benefit the Illinois Chapter of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. New works that represent our theme of hope, healing or transformation are encouraged but not required. Contact Rebecca Plummer Rohloff at 328-3059 or rrohloff@uiuc.edu for more information.]

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Tremblin BG Barfly, 10pm, free DJ JB [hip hop music videos] Nargile, 9pm, free DJ J-Phlip [house] Boltini, 10pm, free CFK [house] Chester St., 10pm, TBA

WEDNESDAY September 7

Chambana Jackson’s Ribs-n-Tips, 8-10pm Ed O'Hara and Friends Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Blues Night: Kilborn Alley Tommy G's, 10pm, free Urbana Booking Co. presents: The Beauty Shop, The Reputation, Shipwreck Canopy Club, doors at 9pm, show at 10pm, $5 Green Mountain Grass Iron Post, 9pm, TBA

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UPCOMING SHOWS: Thurs Sept 22: T h e B i g W u Friday Sept 23: G r o o v a t r o n Sunday Sept 25: N u m b e r s Thurs Sept 29: U m p h r e y ’ s M c G e e Fri & Sat Oct 7 & 8: Lucky Boys Confusion Sunday Oct 9: Les Claypool Tickets for advance shows on sale now at: Exile on Main Street, The Canopy Club, Family Pride, Bacca Cigar, 4 i

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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BY KYLE GORMAN

Sports.

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The Daily Illini is committed to providing our readers with the most current and accurate news and information - on campus, locally and around the world. We encourage you to openly communicate with us about your world.

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Ravish Momin’s Trio Tarana Climbing The Banyan Tree

News.

buzz weekly •

Ravish Momin didn’t begin playing music until 18 and even then didn’t study music full-time. “I knew right away that I wouldn’t have the same ‘natural’approach as someone who’s been playing since they were five yearsold,” says Momin. “So, I was able to think more about applying different kinds of beats consciously...instead of simply having ‘muscle memory,’ I approached it more mentally at first.” Ravish accomplishes this difficult merging of cultures in his music without kitsch or stale overconceptualization despite his unassuming background.

Trio Tarana is Momin’s project in acoustic Eastern jazz.

Though there’s a consistent Eastern focus, with both folk songs and original material, no song is without a sense of swing. Momin studied with drummer Bob Moses, who taught him the importance of groove in music, something he injects into these unconventional pieces. Momin’s fills are never the natural, legato lines one would expect; he utilizies uncommon techniques such as the press roll to the point of minimalism;. At this juncture, they become a natural part of his sound.

Violinist Jason Kao Hwang is a source of electricity.

Hwang applies sheets of sound to his normally linear instrument, using truly every resource available to him. Shanir Ezra Blumenkranz (of Jewish jazz combo Satlah) plays bass and oud, the latter an instrument that rarely appears in jazz - contrary to popular belief, Ahmed Abdul-Malik didn’t play oud at Coltrane’s Village Vanguard residency, but rather tamboura. The default configuration of the trio unfortunately lacks one important element: the power of human breath in music. Momin must have observed this, because he introduces his voice into the mix.

Climbing The Banyan Tree is a excellent distillation of many musical cultures, and thanks to the Trio’s work, is even enjoyable for those unaware of the music’s background.

Operation Snowball, an organization designed to help teens mature into responsible, accountable adults, is looking for someone to lead a Tuesday comedy night for high school teenagers. Comedy nights will be held on Nov. 8 from 7:009:00 p.m. and Nov. 15 at the same time. If you’re interested in the position, contact Robert Silverman at 337-5809 or ccos@champaignsnowball.org.

PHOTO COURTESY OF CHAMPAIGNSNOWBALL.ORG

Ravish Momin and the Trio Tarana will be appearing tonight at the Krannert Art Museum as part of their Sudden Sound series.

The free show begins at 7:30.

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Judge me all you want, but keep the verdict to yourself.

JEFF NELSON • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

PHOTOS • DAVID COOPER

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Nicole Underhay as Cherie in Bus Stop

ooking for a fall trip with some class? There are late openings at the Stratford and Shaw Theater Festivals in addition to a wine festival nearby that can accommodate all tastes.

As September begins, let's look at all three options: Stratford, Ontario is about ten hours from east central Illinois and is going strong through Nov. 6. Shakespeare

remains the cornerstone of this fifty-year-old institution and this late season you can catch The Tempest (to Oct. 28) and Measure for Measure (to Sept. 24). Richard Monette's fine direction in The Tempest gives us a magical and smooth production with the legendary actor,William Hutt, as a Prospero worthy of any acting legend. Leon Rubin's hard edged production of Measure for Measure lends the Bard's story of political and sexual corruption a very modern look. These fine young actors show the timeless power of this poetic parable.

The plays of Christopher Marlowe (1564-1593) are almost forgotten.A contemporary of Shakespeare, he died at 29 at the peak of his popularity. His violent and poetic tales are somewhat long and seemingly less subtle than the Bard's, but still very worthwhile.

None are more worthwhile than Edward II, a brutal tale of political incompetence. Director Richard Monette provides the appropriate clarifications that bring this 14th century story into the modern

world without losing poetic impact (until Sept. 24).

Two adaptations are causing a good deal of discussion on the Stratford Stages-The Brother's Karamazov, from the Dostoevsky novel as interpreted by Jason Sherman, and The Lark, from Jean Anouilh's play by Lillian Hellman. Richard Rose's direction, with instant scene changes and simultaneous scenes manages to flesh out this major novel in under three hours with fine ensemble acting (through Sept. 24). While Amanda Plummer is simply brilliant as Joan of Arc in Ms. Hellman's treatment of Anouilh's in your face character study of a teenage warrior, nationalist, and saint, she gets considerable help from director Michael Lindsay-Hogg and a fine supporting cast (to Oct. 29).

Three hours away in the Niagara wine country are two wonderful events, the Shaw Festival in Niagara-on-the-Lake and Niagara Wine Festival, headquartered in St. Catharines. The Niagara region is famous for Niagara Falls, its wonderful wine country, and the Shaw Festival. From Sept. 16 -25, St. Catharines will sponsor one

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ar tist’s corner CONSTANCE BEITZEL

• ARTS EDITOR

Rob Lauren McColley is a local musician who fronts his own band called, alternatively, “A Boy Named Laurie,” and “Rob McColley and the Heather.” His latest album, “Insults to an Ex-Girlfriend” is his self-proclaimed, “fervent vituperative vitriol,” delivering exactly what it promises in its title. McColley was born and raised in Champaign-Urbana and currently works as a bartender. Both of his parents were humanities professors, “so there was lots of vocabulary, little to eat.” McColley has worked as an intern for NPR’s “Morning Edition” in Washington, his music has been featured in MTV’s “Sorority Life,” and he also portrayed “the interviewer” in Poster Children’s dvd docudrama “Zero Stars.”

Who is Laurie?

Among my favourite Lauries are Hugh, Piper and the boy from the Shirley Jackson short story. Hugh did a foppish, brilliantine Wooster to Stephen Fry’s Jeeves about 15 years ago. Lately, I’ve been more concerned with their BBC 4 successor duo: Armstrong & Miller. I hope, for the sake of recommendation, you go to print in time for everyone to catch the reruns of their hilarious music critic spoof The Children’s Hour on Thursdays. http://bbc.co.uk/bbc7 What are your plans for the future?

If the heart and lung machine can be extrapolated to function as skin, feet, and liver; I hope to continue pub-crawling through the millennia. I’ll point out that my song “Beta Babies,” from the third record, has already recognized the inherent overpopulation problem

extant within any scientifically rendered ultra-longevity scheme: Meritocracy by popular demand is the only way I can see our way through. But I’m not sufficiently noble to get picked, so my strategy is to be indispensably clever. Like The Onion.

What bands/ songwriters have you been influenced by?

Terry Pratchett. Garrison Keillor. Dirk McQuickly.And they’re all British, except Keillor. Heather’s favourite band is Virginia Woolf. Or at least that’s what’s on her turntable for the last six or seven renewal periods. She’s also been listening repeatedly to Patricia Cornwell’s 11 disc testimony against Victorian slice ‘n dice painter Walter Sickert. He sometimes sat in with The Virgina Woolf gang, you know. But evidently, he only cut up sex workers because he didn’t have a penis. I recommend that one, because it defines and demonstrates the often misused term “psychopathy.”

It states that excessively brilliant people with physical infirmities or shortcomings get a thrill from abusing (taunting or slicing up) their inferiors. Luckily, society has devised liquor licensing schemes to divert their energies.

What is your favorite book?

I spell “favourite” with a U. Did you notice? I suppose it’s odd, in that any coach worth his or her salt would insist “there’s no U in favourite.” But coaches are usually erstwhile players, and players lose a lot of salt. I listen to a lot of books-on-disc. There are some books that I find easy to read, but a lot of books are tricky for me.

Listening to people read is immediately comprehensible to me because I simply can’t listen to my own thoughts at the same time. And I think that’s the trouble with readers’ block: distraction.

IMAGE COURTESY OF ROB LAUREN MCCOLLEY

Rob McColley

What is your favorite place (venue) to play?

We keep a 5” x 5” traveling DKNY (I’m not kidding) chess set with us on the road. We also keep it with us at home, but we tend to use the regular-sized set at home on account of its being facile re: fumbling fingers. I’ve always preferred to play while drinking, see, because I’m not very good anyhow. Ask anybody. I think the Hotel Intercontinental, Montreal, had the best seating/small table/interesting nuts combination. Heather even smoked a cigarette there – because the Francophones pretend they can’t speak English sometimes, probably to keep things interesting.

There’s something about speaking French that makes natively Virginian tobacco blends seem frightfully chic. Smoking is cool.

Of course, I can’t do it anymore. (Laments.)

Correction: Last week’s featured artist, Holly Rushakoff’s website is www.girlseyes.com

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rack.World domination. More crack.

These are The Sound Republic’s self-described plans starting Sept. 2. And while the crack part is most likely a product of their offbeat and mostly off-color humor, this DJ duo from Chicago seems to already be on the path towards domination of the world of house music.

Within the past year, John Mork and Frankie J. Monacella have made a name for themselves in the underground house world as The Sound Republic.

They released several singles, remixed tracks for established figures in the house world, hosted club nights in Chicago, and played across the country. Yet for all the success, the focal point for these longtime friends has always been about fun.

“Some people get really seriously deep with their house music,” Monacella said.“We want to make it fun again and bring things people forgot and make them have a good time.”

When The Sound Republic gets behind the decks, the emphasis again goes back to having a good time but also on keeping things fresh.

“We like to play a lot of new music, including things that haven’t even been officially released yet,” Monacella said.

“It isn’t all about upfront music though,” Mork said.“We do play a lot of stuff that isn’t out yet, but we also drop in classic tracks that hook people in.”

Planning may go into the preparation, but actually playing finds The Sound Republic in a mental groove.

“We focus on working a room,” Mork said. “Usually I’m not thinking about anything specific-except maybe ‘This is why I do this’-and then I am worrying about what I am going to play next to keep people moving.”

And The Sound Republic sound definitely has kept people moving, not only by playing other people’s music, but by creating their own. The Sound Republic’s records have sold all over the world and received heavy play from DJ superstars such as Mark Farina, Heather, Joey Youngman and The Swirl People. Their music has also found fans in Champaign, especially from local DJs. “Their music makes you want to jump up and down,” said J Phlip, who usually plays two or three The Sound Republic songs in her weekly sets.

The song that really got crowds going, and jump started The Sound Republic’s production career was a bootleg remix of Irfane’s “Just A Little Lovin.” They called their version “Just a Little Oven” and gave s o u n d s

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OH CANADA! THEATER FESTIVALS FROM O’ER THE BORDER

Council” and the “Love Glove Dub” remix of Natural Rhythm’s “Dancefloor Jazz” bring in sophomoric but charming humor related to sex.This is all by design according to the duo.

While their humor may be base, their tunes are regarded with high esteem by DJs. “The production value and creativity on Sound Republic records is higher than 95 percent of the records I own,” Mertz said. “Every cut also has great sound quality.”

Mork and Monacella are no strangers to central Illinois.

They met when they were both students at Illinois State University in Bloomington-Normal, Ill. “I was friends with some raver kids in Bloomington that knew Frankie,” Mork said.

“I wanted to learn how to spin hip hop and drum ‘n’ bass so I got in touch with Frankie.

That was in 1998.”

Monacella had already been doing live performances of house music and spinning drum ‘n’ bass. Soon Mork picked up enough skills to start playing out. But early on, both Monacella and Mork didn’t have much of a scene to play to.

“People were only casually going to raves.

There might have been only been about 15 people at the start, but it grew more and more each year,” Mork stated.

The duo joined with other Bloomington DJs to form the Central Illinois Alliance (CIA). In a few short years CIA turned Bloomington into the hottest spot for raves and electronic music in central Illinois.

“Near the end we stood back and saw how we turned all these college kids into face-chewing raver kids,” Mork said with a laugh. “It was kinda scary.”

Over those years, Monacella changed his sounds between drum ‘n’ bass, two step, breaks before eventually returning to house. And while each has the talent and experience to stake out in the DJ world on their own, they both realize the benefits of working as a duo.

“It is really hard to do this thing by yourself,” Monacella said.

“There is a lot more to it than playing records. There is handshaking and being a part of a scene.”

“Two are better than one for accomplishing all of that. I don’t understand how people do it all by themselves.”

In addition to performing their own music, The Sound Republic is hosting a monthly night in Chicago at Lava that has hosted big names in house such as Swirl People and Jonene.

Called Grizzled, it has a definite sweaty house party feel where average club goers can share a seat next to the bar with worldwide stars like Derrick Carter and Justin Long.

Despite the jokes, the sweaty nights and the party atmosphere, Mertz expects The Sound Republic to be a perfect fit at Soma’s posh settings. Even with Thursday night being an extra special white party where guests are encouraged to wear white.

“They’re going to cover the ‘party’ part of the white party and I suspect make a lot of fans in Champaign,” Mertz said.

Humorous to the end, Mork offers fashion advice to those would be fans on how to dress in white.

“Wear polar bear suits,” Mork said.

Maybe that crack thing isn’t a joke after all. buzz

themselves the fake names of Francis Jilla and Johnny Drama because they did not clear the original Sarah Vaughn sample.The track, with its waltz tempo breakdown, became an instant hit.

“Oven” was relentlessly played and often referred to as the best song of the 2005 Winter Music Conference, the largest dance music event in the world. The Sound Republic’s reaction to the response for their “little” tune?

“Shock and awe,” Mork said.

“It really was the beginning for us and opened a lot of doors for us,” Monacella said.

Since “Oven,” The Sound Republic has been able to release their first EP (The Scrambles McSuperstuff EP) which was a top seller online and flew out of nearly all American house record shops. The duo has also done remixes for Natural Rhythm, Eastbound and Bryan Jones.

The Sound Republic cuts are usually frantic, jam-packed with drum fills, odd sounds and funky basslines. They write their tracks solely with software and the process is always collaborative.

“We take a folder full of samples and crap and then work on coming up with a beat. Sometimes it is really wack,” Monacella said.

“It is trial and error with bringing samples into our framework,” Mork said. “Once we get it where we like it, we polish and tweak the track.”

Most Sound Republic tracks and remixes revolve around one theme, and that theme often can be unusual. The “Government Cheese” remix of Chris Grant’s “Jimmy Jam” contains bizarre spoken samples about food. Other remixes and tracks such as “Up The

The Sound Republic will appear at Soma Sept.1 with DJs Mertz and J-Phlip

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Another attraction for the youngsters was the cluster of inflatable toys that were used as slides, trampolines and other playground apparatuses. The screaming and laughter coming from the enclosed inflatable that doubled as a trampoline showed that the festival had something for all ages.

The festival also included an Arts Boulevard, which allowed local artists to showcase their art and get their names out to the community.

Two stages of music provided great tunes and added to the general festival atmosphere. The Main Stage attracted bigger bands such as The Family Stone Experience, featuring members of the 70’s funk band Sly and the Family Stone.

The Elm Street Stage, on the other hand, focused more on the thriving ChampaignUrbana music scene and featured local fan favorites such as Eclectic Theory and 2-1-7.

According to Melissa Paraf, an intern at the Urbana Business Association, all of the donated corn was eaten by hungry attendees and nearly all of the beer was gone as well.

While the festival is technically run by a small number of local business owners, City of Urbana workers, community members and interns, it would not be possible without the help of numerous volunteers who helped set

up the festival and made sure that it ran smoothly. Paraf also said that sponsorship was way up this year which helped bring better attractions.

The Sweetcorn Festival has changed quite a bit since it began in 1982. The first one was sponsored solely by Busey Bank and while Busey is still a sponsor, the massive amount of sponsorship from other companies and institutions shows how much the festival has grown.

It was the first street festival ever to take place in Champaign County and there has been no other festival of it’s kind to be so successful.

While it continues to be a fund-raiser for the local businesses, the sheer volume of local talent and unique attractions, such as antique cars and well-bred dogs, is what really drives the Sweetcorn Festival’s success.

This year, the festival brought an estimated 40,000 people to the downtown Urbana area, up from the usual 30,000 to 35,000. “The last few years have been great, but this year’s turnout really exceeded expectations,” Paraf said. While the Sweetcorn Festival would not be possible without the generous donations from companies in the Champaign-Urbana area, the people and attractions are what really make the festival a success, year after year.

And oh, don’t forget the corn. buzz

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THERE IS STILL SOMETHING REAL FUNKILY GOING ON.

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• ARTS EDITOR

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’ve spent all day trying to decide the perfect way to introduce all the new students to the glory that is C-U. I have pages full of admonitions, advice, etc about doing your homework, getting out of your dorm room and basically enjoying college. Then my best friend from high school calls me. Our friend was just killed; hit by a car while riding his bike to my friend’s house after a tennis game. So instead of making fun of smelly bars and frat brothers, let me just give you all one stellar piece of advice: Enjoy people. Don’t be afraid to go meet everyone you see. Whatever you are going to do just make sure it is with people that you love. Open your dorm room doors, sit with lots of different people in the cafeteria and strike up a conversation with whoever is sitting next to you in your lectures.

Everyone is going to tell you that your college years will be the best years of your life.This is because over the next four years you will all meet best friends, lovers, study buddies, bar buddies, the best man at your wedding and right now you have no idea who they are. Those people you see around the Quad will save your life, break your heart, help you with math.

So go do things with these people.

Also, realize that you are paying for the privilege of going to this University. You are paying a lot of money. So learn something. Find something you really enjoy studying and then do that for four years.

And gen-eds suck, but pay attention in them. They are usually a pretty easy A. I guess what I am saying is don’t get a C based on apathy and laziness. If you are going to fail something, let it be because you are dumb. Take pride in having your grades reflect your

C O N T I N U E D F RO M PA G E

mental ability, not your excessive partying. Being well-rounded is not such a bad thing. Don’t spaz out for a semester and do poorly when you are smart enough to do really well. In four years you will have to put that GPA front and center on the top of your resume.

Chambana is a great place to explore all your interests. If you like theater, join the Penny Dreadful Players. If you like music, form a band: you’ll be playing White Horse (at least) by the time you graduate.

There is improv comedy, poetry readings, art shows, museums, independent movies, copious amounts of awesome local bands, even humourous adaptations of Hamlet, going on all the time. If you like writing and art come write for me here at the Buzz. No, really I’m serious, email me at arts@readbuzz.com.

So I guess what I am saying is enjoy every moment and every person because you could be killed instantly by a minivan. Oh, and do your homework; there is really no excuse to not do your homework.

Work hard, play hard and enjoy the hell out of your next four years.

Check out Michelle Latimer: UI Alum, Trumpeter,Vocalist, and Composer at The Iron Post Sunday, Sept. 4, 2005, 8-10:30pm - Meet Michelle and have a steak at the "Steak Out" onsite from 6-8pm before the show ML Sings and Plays (w/the Michelle Latimer Ensemble, featuring top players from Univ. Illinois faculty and C-U jazz scene) The Iron Post (www.theironpost.com) $3 COVER! Tel. (217)337-POST

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of their three annual wine festivals.

In between visits or shows this is a great fall vacation stop. Get details at www.niagarawinefestival.com.

Featured at the Shaw Festival is Canadian Ann-Marie MacDonald's Belle Moral (to Oct. 7), a powerful drama set in late 19th century Scotland. Alisa Palmer's direction gives us a rich character study that goes beyond gothic melodrama. Two American plays,Wiliiam Inge's Bus Stop (to Nov. 27) and Lillian Hellman's, The Autumn Garden (to October 8) are rich multiple character studies that the splendid ensemble of the Shaw Festival brings to life.

Directors Jackie Maxwell and Martha Henry seem to have an intuitive sense of these American characters and settings.

Shaw's Major Barbara (to Oct. 29) as directed by Joseph Ziegler, is a stylish but talky study of good and evil.This lengthy classic has challenged many a director, and here the discussions seem a bit too endless and void of real meaning. Another British import is the gem of the Festival; R.C. Sheriff's superb World War I play Journey's End (to Oct. 8).

University of Illinois graduate, Christopher Newton, in top form as director, wrings every

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Enjoy People

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SE P. 1

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Evan Buliung as Stanhope and Patrick Galligan as Osborne in Journey's End. bit of drama and meaning from this 1928 masterpiece. Rarely has an 80-year-old antiwar play seemed so vivid and relevant.

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FALL FILM PREVIEW BRIAN NICHOLS • STAFF WRITER

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WARNER BROTHERS

ith school back in session, students are once again preparing for another semester of studying and cramming.

Accompanying them on their journey are wizards, superheroes, space pirates and even a corpse bride. That’s right, this is the fall movie preview. So just sit back, relax and forget about school for a while as you take a cinematic journey of upcoming movies.

Though the fall movie schedule typically has fewer blockbusters than the summer, there are several movies that have the potential to stand out. Kicking things off is the Sept. 2 release of The

HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE

previews the movie appears to capture all the glory that was shared with Pixar.

On Sept. 30 comes the movie that sci-fi fans are looking forward to with much anticipation. Based on the Firefly television series, Serenity hits the big screen. Most fans of the series would agree that Firefly was canceled too early, so fanboys should be delighted to see this show in theatres.This movie is really something to be excited about. The previews not only show a glimpse of fantastic special effects, but also promise to deliver a great story in addition to all the eye candy. Those unfamiliar with the TV series need not worry, as the movie will clue in non-fans to the back story.

Those who haven’t gotten their fill of sci-fi adventure after Serenity can prepare themselves for the film version of the classic PC game Doom. The only reason to see this movie is The Rock. That’s right folks, the great one himself captains the cast of Space Marines in this adventure. While The Rock is charismatic and has stolen the show in every single movie he has been in, one can’t help but think that this latest video game to movie adaptation is a lot like tennis and golf-a lot more fun to play than to watch.

The Chronicles of Narnia: the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe hits the big screen on Dec. 9. This long-awaited adaptation of the first book in C.S. Lewis’ classic series features a cast comprised largely of unkowns (the most recognizable stars to American audiences might be the voices of Rupert Everett and Brian Cox).The Narnia books are family-friendly tales of magic and adventure, so movie executives are undoubtedly hoping to tap into the huge Harry Potter audience. With seven books in the series, the will be no shortage of sequels to come should The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe become a blockbuster.

Speaking of Harry Potter, audiences are surely waiting for his fourth adventure on the silver screen this November: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. The original cast has all returned, minus of course Richard Harris (Dumbledore), who passed away between the second and third movies and was replaced by Michael Gamdon. Mike Newell has taken over directing the newest installment of this franchise from Alfonso Cuaron. In Goblet of Fire, Harry is in his fourth year at Hogwarts and is competing in the Tri-Wizard Tournament.

What’s great about the Harry Potter series is that as the audience grows older, the stories also grow up, becoming a little darker and more interesting with each new chapter. As the actors have aged, their performances have improved. Of all the movies on this fall preview, Harry Potter is easily the most anticipated. These movies are phenomenal adaptations of the already classic books.

From sci-fi to animation, and action to drama, there will be no shortage of film entertainment this fall semester to distract students from their studies. But only time will tell if these movies will be as successful as Batman Begins or crash and burn like Stealth. buzz

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FESTIVAL IS A SWEET DEAL FOR CHAMPAIGN-URBANA RESIDENTS TODD SWISS • STAFF WRITER

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hen Urbana held its first Sweetcorn Festival nearly 30 years ago, it was merely a tool to promote the downtown area. Since then, the festival has grown immensely. This year’s free event included an antique car show, two stages with live music and numerous child-friendly attractions. For a town with around 38,000 citizens, the annual Sweetcorn Festival is truly an amazing feat.

How Urbana can afford to hold such an event every year without charging an entrance fee or raising taxes is hard to imagine. Similar events are held in the suburbs of Chicago with varying results, but the Sweetcorn Festival continues to grow and change. Companies come year after year and make a profit on the goods and services they offer at the festival. It continues to be popular and well attended even without the luxury of being in a densely populated area.

Corporate sponsors are a large part of making the Sweetcorn Festival a success. Through the donation of goods, services and money, local businesses and corporations get their names out to thousands of potential customers. Their donations are basically glorified advertising fees, but the public gains fun experiences from the combined efforts of the businesses and those who set up and run the event.

While it would be nice to not see huge corporate banners all around the festival, they are a fact of life. Without Wal-Mart, Urbana would not have the means to provide the 20,000 ears of corn the corporation donated. Nor would it be possible to provide children’s entertainment like the petting zoo and action inflatables without the monetary donations from local radiostations and other businesses. The Sweetcorn Festival would also not be possible without the help and cooperation of the City of Urbana and the people who live there.

Nine years ago, the first Motor Muster antique car show took place. The Corn shucking at Urbana's annual show, which features cars Sweet Corn Festival. s o u n d s

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Transporter 2. Jason Statham (The Italian Job, Snatch) reprises his role as Frank Martin.Think of Frank Martin as a cross between James Bond and Vin Diesel’s XXX. If you enjoy classic action movies and haven’t seen the first Transporter, check it out. The original featured car chases, martial arts, gunfights and the second installment promises to deliver as much, if not more action. Be forewarned though; this movie will probably require that you turn your brain off for a couple of hours.

Fans of swashbuckling adventures have the second feature film of the new Zorro franchise. Both Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta Jones return in Legend of Zorro. Maybe Zorro 2 didn’t sound good to the producers.

Well, either that or it was too much sword slashing for Zorro to slash out a Z and then a 2 on every single defeated opponent’s jacket. Whatever the case, Zorro is a timeless hero, and if the Legend of Zorro is as fun and entertaining as the Mask of Zorro, this sequel should be a safe bet.

Fall sees no shortage of animated movies. Tim Burton fans delight as Sept. 23 marks the release of The Corpse Bride (so if you are keeping score, that is two Tim Burton movies in less than six months). Those who remember The Nightmare Before Christmas should be familiar with this unique style of animation. From the looks of the preview, The Corpse Bride could only have been delivered by the mind of Tim Burton, which is reason enough to see it. If you need additional incentive, then go check it out to hear Johnny Depp’s voiceovers and the score by Danny Elfman.

After many years of trying to get a movie made, Wallace and Gromit finally bring their brand of comedy to theatrical release on October 7th in Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit. More animation follows on Nov. 4 when Disney releases the classic tale of Chicken Little.

This is Disney’s first non-Pixar CG movie, so it will no doubt be under a lot of scrutiny as Disney looks to reclaim their position as box office powerhouse. Nonetheless, from the

The Barrel Train Express drives a full load of children around the Sweet Corn Festival in downtown Urbana. from every decade between 1910 and the 1980, was a big hit from its beginning and continues to draw car enthusiasts and curious novices to the festival. While the number of entries each year has not increased drastically, there are new cars shown every year. Co-sponsored by the Illini Collector Car Club, a core of around 35 to 40 cars appear at each year’s show and an additional 30 to 40 cars are brought by people of all ages.

A young man who just got his driver’s license last year brought his Chevolet Bel-Air, while many older car lovers brought cars they’ve owned for many years.

Norm Comer, a member of the Illini Collector Car Club and a participant in each of th nine Motor Muster shows, brought his completely original 1912 Maxwell Mascotte. Comer, who bought the car in 1968, is the vehicle’s fourth owner.When the car was first introduced to the public, it cost $980 and came with an optional windshield.

“Every year we get new entries from people in the area,” Comer said. This is why people keep coming back to look at and talk about vintage vehicles. Many of the older viewers reminisced about seeing these models when they were first released. Others chatted with the owners of the cars about what was under the hood and the restoration process that they

had gone through to make them look brand new. Many enthusiastic parents brought their children along to share their love of antique and muscle cars. Some brought cameras to document the rarities on display.

Comer said he enjoyed telling people about his car and the restoration process he went through to keep it in such good condition. He even started the car up for a couple of minutes to show curious onlookers how different the driving experience was when cars were just beginning to be made, a unique opportunity that many people would never think about, let alone experience. Even a casual car lover could learn much from Comer and his fellow participants.

For those kids who were more interested in taking a ride than looking at one didn’t have to go far. One of the many attractions aimed at children was a ride in a miniature train through downtown Urabana. Seeing the multi-colored train coupled with the smiles on the faces of the children as they rode was just one of the many candid joys over the weekend.

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buzz weekly

coulter

BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE TOO LONG.

first things first

How I learned to not trust people

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A couple of years ago, I was

headed towards Esquire to have a couple of beers (i.e., 15 or 16), when a guy stopped me and asked for $10. He wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t begging and explained his story. He had no money on him and had just broken his key off in the door lock of his car and needed to take a taxi home to get his spare set of keys. For crapsake, he even had a broken key in his hand.

Obviously, the cab ride would be about $10, and he would pay me back when he returned for his car. He was dressed like a guy who had been working all day so I gave him ten bucks and went inside to drink and wait for his return. Roughly a minute later it occurred to me that he wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t coming back.

I was pissed about the incident, but I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really sure who I was pissed at. I suppose I was mostly pissed at myself for being one of the suckers born every minute. Usually Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a big rat bastard when it comes to things like that, but for some reason this guy got through my defenses. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get me wrong, I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t enjoy being grifted, but at the same time, I had to

give the guy credit. At least he had a skill.

For reasons of self preservation, I decided to look at it this way. I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t lose $10 to a con man, but instead, I paid $10 for a lesson about how you should never trust other people. A harsh reminder such as that is worth at least $10. Even after all the suckering, I preferred him to the beggars who just ask you for money.

I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know what it is about pan handlers, but they aggravate me. In all fairness, not all of them do, but most of them. Last time I was in Mexico, there was a little girl playing an accordion. Actually, to call it â&#x20AC;&#x153;playingâ&#x20AC;? would be a gross overstatement, but she was doing her best.

She asked no one for money, but she had a paper cup sitting beside her. Most everyone who passed dropped some change into her cup.

Sure, she was cute and everything, but I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s why people gave her money. I think it was because she was at least making an effort.

It didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seem like begging.

For the record, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not advocating that homeless people should jump up and dance for the alms theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re given and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m in no way suggesting that they all arm themselves with accordions so the rest of us feel better about giving

them money. Still, simply scampering from person to person asking for money doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seem like an especially productive way to spend your day either, not to mention the discomfort it causes the people who are asked for money.

The city council of Atlanta approved a measure last week that they think will help the matter, making it illegal for anyone to ask strangers for food or money near its downtown museums and the Martin Luther King Jr. National Historical Site.The business owners around the areas feel that the aggressive beggars are hurting not only their businesses, but also the general image of the area. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not completely heartless, but you know what? Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re right. Confine all the pan handlers to one specific street and then see how much general traffic goes down on that street. I bet it wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be much.

Like I said, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not heartless about the problem of homelessness. Some people get down on their luck, some people have mental problems, some people just need a helping hand to right their ship. I feel sorry for these people.

In fact, most people feel more than sorry for these people. Our community has several resources to get homeless people back on track and help them with things such as employment

and housing, some through churches, some through government agencies, some through private programs.

If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re willing to make any sort of effort to better yourself, there are people to who are happy to help. The problem I have is with the down on their luck people who make no effort whatsoever. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard for me to justify giving a guy on Michael Coulter the street money to help him is a videographout when itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the same guy Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve er, comedian seen on the same street for the and sort of a last ten years. Obviously giving smart-ass. But him money hasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really helped we love him anyway, and donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t him out so much.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a tough thing, and even as know why.

I write this, I sort of cringe at Probably the callousness of some of my because heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s so statements. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not sure banning damn funny. beggars from a particular area is the answer, but Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not sure what a better alternative is. It seems like giving them free reign only perpetuates the problem.

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m happy as hell to give people money so they can improve their lives. I just think thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a big difference between asking for money to get better and asking for money so you never have to.

Welcome to all new and returning UI-Champaign students! Join us for free food and rock climbing during Extreme Adventure Night, Aug.31, 5:30-8p.m. at 132 D Armory Building or call ARMY ROTC at 244-1407 for more info.

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NOW THEY KNOW THAT WE KNOW THAT THEY KNOW THAT WE KNOW!

THE BROTHERS GRIMM

Except that accordian playing little girl in Mexico, I trusted her ... but the accordian gave her credibility MICHAEL COULTER â&#x20AC;˘ CONTRIBUTING WRITER

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PAUL PRIKAZSKY â&#x20AC;˘ LEAD REVIEWER

After a lengthy hiatus, visionary director Terry

and grime, they are richly detailed and alive with colorful characters.

Gilliamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s unique view doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t come cheap, and his legendary battles with studio big-wigs over films like The Adventures of Baron Munchausen have become a cautionary tale to fledgling directors. Nevertheless, Gilliam fights for his vision to make its way to the screen and when it does itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s worth the price of a ticket alone.

So how does a director seemingly focused on visuals work with his actors? Pretty well, it seems.

Some of the performances might be a little over the top, but for the most part there are smart actors giving delicately nuanced performances.

Heath Ledger particularly stands out as the nebbish Grimm brother, absorbed in his world of fantasy and magic. After Ledgerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s usually suave and slick roles, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fun to see him play against type. He provides the foil to Damonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Will.Will Grimm has no time for the petty fantasy world of his younger brother. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s more concerned with making a fast buck and landing even faster women.

These characters are nothing new to Gilliam.

He has been forever flirting with the fantasy vs. reality theme and the people populating his films evoke one idea or the other. From his nightmarish sci-fi film, Brazil to his New York fairy tale, The Fisher King, Gilliam has consistently created worlds where characters are in love with an idealâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;whether attainable or notâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and drift from the harsh truth of reality to something filled with magical innocence and childlike awe.

If nothing else, The Brothers Grimm is a visual feast likely to keep the audience fully satiated.

Unfortunately, this film suffers where so many do: story.The plot is paper thin and lacks the pure excitement a movie of this caliber should have. It seems too simple and the events unravel too quickly.And remember itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a fairy tale; you better believe everyone lives happily ever after.

Gilliam makes his triumphant return with The Brothers Grimm, an uneven though inspired fairy tale. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been seven years since Gilliam took us on the drug-fueled odyssey that was Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Notorious for fighting with the studios over his astronomical budgets, the creative genius came roaring back in 2005 with not one, but two films (the other being Tideland, which will be released later this year). Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s good to have him back.

Once upon a time Wilhelm (Matt Damon) and Jacob (Heath Ledger) Grimm went barn-storming through Germany eradicating curses and specters from local villages and collecting a decent paycheck for it. Unbeknownst to the scared villagers, the brothers are actually con artists and all those bumps in the night are rigged.

Things are going pretty smoothly until the French soldiers discover the brothersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; ruse and threaten to destroy their reputation. Under the care of the French Generalâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s (Jonathon Pryce) villainous lackey, Cavaldi (Peter Stormare), the brothers are sent to a village under a real curse, and for once find themselves in real danger.

Eleven young girls have gone missing from the village and the townspeople know they have disappeared into the cursed woods. The forest is under the spell of an evil queen (Monica Bellucci) who needs the blood of 12 virgins to regain her vitality and stay young forever. With the help of Angelika (Lena Heady), a tough-as-nails townie, the brothers embark on a quest to stop the evil doings of the wicked queen.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fun to see all those fairy tales we know so well come to life on the big s c re e n . E l e m e n t s f ro m Grimm classics like Little Red Riding Hood, Rapunzel, and Hansel and Gretel are cleverly interspersed throughout the movie.The world in The Brothers Grimm is one where fantasy and reality tread a thin line. Watching the events of the film unfold while Jake Grimm carefully documents them further blurs that line.

As the former animator for the notorious British comedy troupe, Monty Python, Gilliam has extraordinary visual sensibilities and they certainly rise to the forefront of The Brothers Grimm. His worlds are simultaneously dark and beautiful. Despite their dirt THE BROTHERS GRIMM â&#x20AC;˘

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Showtimes for 9/2 thru 9/8

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a s t r o l o g y

CANCER

ARIES

(March 21-April 19)

Here's how rock critic Aidin Vaziri described the tage set when hip-hop artist 50 Cent played in San Jose: "an urban wasteland that looked like it was designed by Disney (complete with an overturned police car, graffiti-covered trashcans and the decapitated head of the Statue of Liberty)." I hope you don't take this the wrong way, Aries, but there's a certain resemblance between that environment and yours. The so-called chaos you're surrounded by is either imaginary or artificial or both. It may be seductively well-made, and therefore hard to resist, but you can walk away from it any time you choose.

TAU RU S

(April 20-May 20)

You have the potential to be a great wizard in the coming week.

Here's how to fulfill that promise: (1) Renounce grandiose fantasies of transforming lead into gold or frogs into soul mates.

(2) Think small, be specific, get extremely pragmatic, and don't make up stories based on inconclusive evidence. (3) Take everything that's dreamy and hazy and bring it down to earth.

(4) Don't bitch about the limitations; love them and use them to your advantage. (5) Treat idealism as a distraction unless it can be translated into concrete acts that do some good for actual human beings.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

A respected medical journal reports that one out of four people thinks that "scientists have already found a cure for cancer, but that this cure is being withheld by the health care industry because it makes more money treating the illness."

There are a lot of paranoid theories like this going around.

Millions believe in the existence of elite puppet masters who manipulate our shared resources to serve their own power and wealth rather than the public good. I'm not smart or crazy enough to evaluate these theories. But I do know that for you right now, Gemini, it's crucial to be extremely skeptical of every authority, expert, and leader. You should express similar discernment toward those who present themselves as hip, highstatus, or special. It will be to your advantage to disrespect hierarchies and become a devotee of pure democracy.

(June 21-July 22)

"All I learned in the three colleges I attended," says my friend Davey, "was how to beat the system by using its own rules against it." "All I learned in college," declares author Miravi Bhuna-Giva, "was how to make up sh--." "All I learned in college," asserts late-night TV talk show host Jimmy Kimmel, "was how to drink while standing on my head." All these educational experiences are highly recommended for you in the coming weeks, Cancerian. You're in a phase when you'll have luck and grace if you act like an eager student, whether you're trying to perfect the art of squeezing more perks out of the game of life or mastering goofy tricks that will make more people want to invite you to their parties.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

Do you have total confidence in your ability to swing lawn chairs around with your teeth? Can you safely eat broken glass, withstand people riding bicycles over your belly, and smash bricks with your head? If so, you don't need my advice this week. But if you're not sure you're capable of pulling off the kinds of feats I named, please resist the temptation to try them. For that matter, don't even think of submitting to other strenuous tests that are at the edge of your ability. This is a time for you to lay low and recharge, not throw yourself into trials by fire. Be modest and self-protective, not brazen and reckless.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

You have weathered a turning point in your relationship with darkness, and will never again be tempted by its strange attractions. Did you hear what I said? You have had your last encounters with hellish monsters that unleash torment for the fun of it. You will never again get mixed up with events that resemble crawling through caverns filled with the souls of the damned. In the future, you may on occasion have weird dreams about owls and spiders and snakes, but they will be good weird. Congrats, Virgo.

LIBRA

what ’s your sign?

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Painter Henri Matisse (1869-1954) departed so recklessly from the traditions of his art form that some critics believed he threatened to undermine civilization. That seems unbelievable to us today. Can you imagine any modern painter, musician, writer, or filmmaker being accorded power like that? I can't.

Those whose creative expression carries the greatest clout do their work in the areas of business and technology. Having said that, I'll now make an exception: You currently have the potential to wield a dramatic influence with your creativity in every realm except business and technology.

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec.21)

"Dear Rob: Two years ago I had intimate relations with a mountain. I was driving toward the Cascades when I became aware of a physical longing for Bonanza Peak, which lay ahead of me.

As I got closer, I rolled down the windows and sucked in the cool air. I had the exact same sensation as loving someone so deeply that breathing in their breath fills me with erotic images and naughty tingles and lusty compassion. I thought you should know. -Earth Lover" Dear Earth Lover: Thanks for your testimony. It's the perfect message for Sagittarians to hear right now, so I'm advising them to learn from your example.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

There's a connection between Al Qaeda and actor Kevin Bacon, according to Tatsuya Ishida at www.sinfest.net. Al Qaeda was trained by the CIA, he says, which was established by President Harry Truman, who dropped the atom bomb which was cooked up by the Manhattan Project, which was the name of a movie starring John Lithgow, who was in the film "Footloose" with Kevin Bacon. I invite you to make liberal of this kind of logic in

jonesin crossword puzzle

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

"If the Angel decides to come it will be because you have convinced her, not by tears but by your humble resolve to be always beginning; to be a beginner." So said the poet Rainer Maria Rilke, as if speaking to your exact needs right now. Let me offer this addendum: The Angel wants to come very badly.

She is passionate about offering you the novel assistance she has dreamed up just for you.

s e p t

AQUARIUS

When your plane takes off and the flight attendants give you their lecture on what to do in case of emergency, they remind you that "your nearest exit may be behind you." That's good advice for you to keep in mind during the coming week, Aquarius. I don't mean to imply that you'll be facing some literal danger that will require you to make a quick escape. What I do suggest is that you remove yourself, at least temporarily, from a certain process that's barreling full-speed ahead. The best way to do it is to go backward, into the past, or in reverse.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

When I went to a hard-core rock festival recently, all but one of the bands made abundant use of the f-word. They invoked it so often, both in their songs and between-song patter, that it got boring. The lone group that departed from the norm did express gleeful rage, but it was with a phrase I rarely hear anymore. "I don't give a damn," the singer shouted at the end of one song. I chuckled at the archaic modesty of the expression, but it stayed with me more than the histrionics the other bands preferred. That brings me to the advice I have for you, Pisces: Get to the root of your anger and then render it with an understated craft that sets it apart from the overwrought venting that everyone has grown numb to.

Homework: What do you want so badly that you're driving it away?

How can you fix the problem? Testify at www.freewillastrology.

Hilarity in Seuss

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Across 1 Stage actress Hagen 4 Triathlete's need 8 It's said with a sigh 14 They ease the pain of death 16 Fix the punctuation once more 17 Seuss book about destroying a marijua na farm?

18 Shook an Etch A Sketch 19 Bator, Mongolia 20 Brand best known for purees 22 Seuss book where the main character listens to noodle soup?

28 Overgrown 29 Tongue-twisting bath tub plaything 30 Lint trap, so to speak

33 Particles with a charge 34 Seuss book about surpassing actress Winger?

39 "Peek-___!"

40 Wanderer 41 Rudolph feature 44 Belief that God creat ed the world, but does not intervene in it 48 Seuss book about a musical breakfast?

52 Like many rescues 53 Tiny bit 54 Spotter's phrase 57 Seuss book arguing in favor of libertarian ism?

60 La Quinta alternative 61 Work (against) 62 Company named for its founder, Adolf Dassler

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

63 Princess visited by Dorothy in the book series 64 "Queer Eye" food & wine expert Down 1 "I agree" 2 Like pitches that head for the feet 3 "That's why I carry _____" 4 Recycling receptacle 5 Rap group with trade mark makeup, for short 6 Retirement plan for the self-employed 7 Cosmetics queen Lauder 8 Swedish city west of Stockholm 9 What Galileo was nearly convicted of

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10 Be ready to eat lob ster 11 Bradley and Begley, for two 12 It's not true 13 Inc., overseas 15 Florence's ___ Vecchio 21 Warning on video games with lots of gore 23 "Garfield" movie role played by a real dog 24 Abbr. in a Broadway address 25 Worthy of a D 26 1985 U.S. Open win ner Mandlikova 27 Tiebreaker rounds: abbr.

31 Part of the conscious far from the self 32 Diminutive Italian suf fix 34 Host Ken of MTV's "Remote Control" 35 Lymphatic mass 36 Moron 37 Man Ray's genre 38 Tree of Knowledge's spot 39 Braz. neighbor 42 Silver company that shares its name with an Indian tribe 43 Mattress choices 45 Moron 46 Fired off a few rounds towards 47 Become something else entirely 49 Camp X-Ray locale, slangily 50 Combining form meaning "split" 51 ___ out (like some Visas) 54 George Gershwin's brother 55 Pathetic 56 Virgin rival 58 Shady figure?

59 ___ Fail (palindromic "Stone of Destiny") Answers pg. 10

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uNDER c OVER

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Cover Design • Nikita Sorokin Editor in chief • Paul Wagner Art Director • Claire Napier Copy Chief • Emily Wahlheim Music • Kyle Gorman Arts • Constance Beitzel Film • Andrew Vecelas Community • Erin Scottberg Calendar • Erin Scottberg Photography Editor • David Solana Designers • Brittany Bindrim, Nikita Sorokin, Obumneme Asota Calendar Coordinators • Cassie Conner, Todd Swiss Photography • Austin Happel Copy Editors • Sarah Goebel, Dan Petrella, Ruth McCormack, Meghan Whalen Staff Writers • Todd Swiss, Paul Prikazsky, Syd Slobodnik, Beth Dillman, Todd J. Hunter Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein Production Manager • Meredith Niepert Sales Manager • Anna Rost Marketing/Distribution • Louis Reeves III Publisher • Mary Cory

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AROUND TOWN Sweetcorn Festival • Todd Swiss

LISTEN, HEAR The Sound Republic • DJ Bozak Ravish Momin’s Trio Tarana review • Kyle Gorman Sound Ground #91 • Todd J. Hunter

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ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT

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buzz weekly •

I HAVEN’T SLEPT FOR TEN DAYS ...

7

the coming days, Capricorn. The astrological omens say it will be healthy for you to let your imagination run away with you as long as you don't take as gospel truth all the conclusions it leads you to. So please feel free to ramble down the fine line between creative storytelling and total BS.

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BUZZ STAFF

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Arts Festival • Jeff Nelson Artist’s Corner with Rob Lauren McColley Letter from Constance Beitzel (Th)ink • Keef Knight

THE SILVER SCREEN Fall Film Preview • Brian Nichols The Brothers Grimm review • Paul Prikazsky Movie Time Listings

THE STINGER Free Will Astrology Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney

CLASSIFIEDS

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EDITOR’S NOTE PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

Lately, I’ve been reading

the New York Times at night and the other night I came across a story that I found more than slightly disturbing, and now you all get to hear about it.

The story comes from Nebraska. Here goes.The names will be left out because you should read the story to find them out. A 22-year-old man is being charged with statutory rape.

Why is this covered in the NY Times, you ask? Because the state of Nebraska is charging him for having sex with his 14-year-old WIFE. What kind of evidence can the state possibly produce, you ask? The happy couple has a child.

Yep, that’s right, a 14-year-old girl had a baby fathered by a 22-year-old man. But the legal age of consent in Nebraska is 17. Therefore, they couldn’t get married in their home state.

And this is where the story takes a turn for the worse.They traveled to Kansas to get married. An odd place for marriage at best, but the legal age of consent in Kansas is, you’re never going to believe this, 12.

A 12-year-old in Kansas can legally have consenting sex with anyone. I cannot even begin to describe just how repulsive that is to me. And apparently the governor of Kansas

was outraged that a 14-year-old could get married in her state.

The story continues, though. The parents of the girl and the man are both happy as clams that their kids got hitched. The mom of the man is actually quite proud of him. Apparently he was a bit of a scumbag (really?), but he’s now sticking with the kid he knocked up instead of running away from the problem.

The parents of the girl are just happy that she’s happy.Which seems a bit weird to me. If this were my sister, I’d probably kill the asshole, my dad would likely back me up. Hell, my mom would attack the guy.There’s just so much wrong with this.

Luckily, the guy is being charged by the state and could face up to 50 years in prison.

Sometimes I think charging consenting people for statutory rape is ridiculous. But that’s for high schoolers that are of similar age.

Maybe two juniors go to prom and have consenting sex afterwards, but they’re 16 and 17.

Charging either of them with statutory rape would piss me off. But a 22-year-old with a 14-year-old? I hope you’re all as pissed about this as me. It’s atrocious.

Honestly, I’m not sure why I told this story; I just find it horrible, so do with it what you will.

- Paul PS: I promised a friend I would do this, so Happy Birthday Kate Gleason!

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buzz weekly

seth fein

I TRIED TO WALK INTO A TARGET ONCE, BUT I MISSED.

the local sniff

Sweetcorn Festival a bust!

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PHONE: 217/337-8337 DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

Other Rentals 500 HOUSES

Local Chapter of Scientologists "stressed out" SETH FEIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

FIRST SNIFF In retrospect, I can look back on the Sweetcorn Festival with a certain amount of delight and awe. When I was a child, it was one of my favorite things to go to with my dad.The reasons are endless, but one of the main ones was because the corn was free.

And man did we eat corn. I swear, I was shitting out corn for weeks. You would go up to the people running the stand and they’d ask, “How many do you want?”You could say, “Thirtyeight, please,” and with a smile, someone would hand you the 38 ears of corn, drenched in butter and wrapped in wax paper. I mean, it’s corn, for crying out loud, not saffron.

But now, it’s a load of bullshit. $1 for ONE ear of corn? What is that, a joke? Not to mention the fact that the corn was brought to us by ...Wal-Mart. And it's shipped in from … Colorado?

And what was with the booth placement? Who is in charge of that anyway? How come all the "liberal" organizations like WRFU and Anti-War Movement were clumped together in a low traffic area while the "Honor The Chief" booth was front and center in the middle of the flippin’ intersection? Oh yeah a real "liberal" community we live in here.

Very nice, Urbana.Very nice. I suppose that, based on the way that Tod Satterthwaite ran the city into the ground for 12 years, it’s no one’s fault really. But let’s hope that next year, we can get corn prices down, and maybe, just maybe, we could contract some local farmers to grow sweet corn for us. Perhaps we could find some parity in the way that booth locations are determined as well. Once again, it seems as though Urbana is in serious need of some help.

I believe in Laurel though. Don't you worry. Prussing will take care of it. Doesn’t seem like it would be too much trouble, does it?

TOM CRUISE – YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE A BUNCH OF SNIFFERS...

I suppose that the only good part of the day for me was when I went to the Scientology booth. They were giving away free Stress Tests as a way to promote their “Bible” - Dianetics by that guy named Mother Hubbard. It seemed interesting enough anyway, so I sat down next to a lady with a machine that looked like it had been bought at Radio Shack in the bargain bin. It conspicuously had the name Hubbard on it. I was asked to grab on to two metal cylinder things and she asked me to think of someone in my life. Naturally, I thought of a few people – my girlfriend, my mom, my brother, my boss, etc. etc. Allow me to recreate the dialogue for you so that you can get a sense of the genius behind this machine. There are three characters to this

one act: Seth Fein,Woman and Man, identified by acronym.

W:Are you thinking of someone? SF:Yes. W: Do you see how the needle is moving? SF:Yes, I do. W:That means that you feel some degree of stress about them. SF: Of course I do. They are important to me. W: Wouldn’t you like to not feel stress about them? SF: Uh. That’s impossible. M: It’s not impossible.You just don’t want to learn.You don’t want to listen. SF: Do you ever feel stress about anything? W: No. We have learned how to rid ourselves of our “Reactive Mind.” SF: So, have you ever been in a relationship? M: How is that relevant? SF: Well, if you have ever been in one, you would know that it can get stressful at some points. Say, when you are trying to conceive and you can’t, maybe?

Not that I am, but I know people who have been through that....

M: (interrupting) With Dianetics, you can accomplish anything.

SF:Yes, but… M (interrupting): See! You just don’t want to listen!

You don’t care! SF: Sir, I am trying to have a dialogue here. If you would just hear my… M: (interrupting) You know what?!? This is my booth and you can just leave then! (He is yelling at me by this point!) SF: Oh yeah.You seem calm.You’re already yelling at me for simply asking questions?

I left. And so, in case any of you were wondering about whether or not Scientology reduces stress and as a result, will help you lose weight - it doesn’t. Everyone at the booth was yelling at people and was fat. So, go get yourself a treadmill and a day at the spa. Same thing – only without the brainwashing.

FINAL WHIFF It is worth noting that we here in Seth Fein is from C-U have a growing number of blog- Urbana. He and his gers with many different opinions. girlfriend laughed Personally, I have never “blogged” all the way to about anything. But I suppose that Schnucks on when you write a column in a weekly, Saturday where there is not much need for it. But not they bought 10 ears of corn for everyone is as lucky as I. But dammit if $2.00. He can be they aren’t great reads throughout the reached at sethday – and deserve just as much attenfein@hotmail.com. tion as the rest of us going out on a limb to spread opinion and fodder for the community! And allow me to state this: It can get pretty heated when someone starts to rip into a certain local columnist. (Hint: it wasn’t me) In any event, people should be reading these guys and gals.

They have copious knowledge about these little cities of ours and every now and again, something pops up that makes people electronically freak out. I did on Saturday night. It was a blast! But remember: If you are going to post something inflammatory about another person, do us all a favor, grow a pair and use your own name. Those of you who post anonymously are just like the Scientologists: a bunch of scared ass jicks, afraid to face the realities of life.

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Employment 000 020

HELP WANTED Part Time

Homework tutor needed for high school student in special education.

15hrs/ wk. in late afternoon or evenings. Must have car. Call 390-7887 or 359-9655.

PICKLES IS NOW HIRING PARTTIME SERVERS. APPLY IN PERSON, 505 S. NEIL, CHAMPAIGN.

030

HELP WANTED Full/Part Time

Earn $5000 as an egg donor. Must be 20-29 and a non-smoker. Please call Alternative Reproductive Resources at 773-327-7315 to learn how you can help a family fulfill its dreams.

Illinois FOP Fundraising Center Perfect opportunity for Students and Individuals looking for FT/ PT Employment. Earn $9 hr (after paid training). Year Round 1-800-809-8775

Merchandise 200 SPORTING GOODS

255

Digital stairstepper. Barely used. $50. 352-3451

GARAGE SALES

280

400

APARTMENTS

410

Furnished/Unfurnished

DEADLINE:

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550 per month. 367-6626.

RATES:

1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $545 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking.

Fall 04, 367-6626

Billed rate: 35¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 28¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

410

Furnished/Unfurnished

The Daily Illini

510

every Monday through Friday

ROOMS

EXECUTIVE LOFT 201 S. Wright St., Champaign.

Adjacent to Engineering campus.

Loft bedroom, security parking, balcony, A/C, laundry.

Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012

UNIQUE

Available Fall. 1 bedroom loft apartment. Fully equipped. Balcony, parking. 409 W. Green. Call Hardwick Apartments, 356-5272 or 621-1012.

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

304 & 306 E. Clark, C Castle Apartments

3 blocks to Engineering Quad. 3 BR $690, 4 BR $890. C/A, ceiling fan, dishwasher, washer/dryer in unit.

384-1099, castle_apartments@ameritech.net 4 Blocks from Krannert.One parking space, Garbage/Trash removal included.

Furnished/Unfurnished.

Available now. $450.00. 367-5370

APARTMENTS

Available Aug 05 1 bedroom $385 Campus. 367-6626

Available for Fall

407 E. University. Luxury one bedrooms, fully equipped- microwave, washer/dryer in-unit. Security building with elevator. Balconies, underground parking.

Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012

316 S. State St., C 4/ 5 bedroom home, 2 baths, 2 full kitchens, laundry room. $1100/mo.

369-7205.

Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2850 367-6626

BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480.

1 Br. $370 2 BR. $470 3 BR. $750 4 BR $755 Campus. 367-6626.

430

Unfurnished

GIANT SALE 205 W. Nevada Mostly vintage, priced to sell, many $1 items. Lots of art- prints, paintings, studio pottery, vintage glassware and dishes, purses, funky clothes, LP’s books, etc.!

Thursday- Sunday 7a- 7p. Half price or less Sunday.

Apartments

APARTMENTS

1 bedroom in older home. $625/ mo.

Utilities included. 314 S. State St, Champaign. 369-7205 507 W. White, C. Contemporary 2 BR, now available.

In the heart of Old-town Champaign. $495/mo, 352-8540, 377-4677pm. www.faronproperties.com

530

Furnished room (new carpet and bed) in huge quiet Victorian grad house near West Side Park and Downtown Champaign. Living and kitchen space is shared. Includes all utilities, local and U.S. long distance telephone, cable, Ethernet, use of Washer/Dryer, and private parking.

One year lease and deposit required.

Subletting is permitted.

Rent $485 per month. Short term leases considered for increased rent. Available NOW! Call 217-3552326 anytime.

1 BR in 4 BR apartment. $350/mo, includes all utilities. 367-6626.

Room for rent in a nice house. $400/ month, furnished, includes basic utilities, Grad student or other mature individual desired.

ROOM & BOARD

540

www.couch.coop. Vegetarian meals, private rooms, internet, diverse, affordable, friends, home.

ROOMMATE WANTED 550

2 BR avail. mid-August laundry, pkg, W/A, $485/mo The Weiner Companies, Ltd

384-8018

Yearbooks still on sale!

Order Today!!

Call 337-8300

1 bedroom, near campus $300 per month 367-6626

RealEstateforSale 600 HOUSES

630

For Sale

800 W. CHURCH, C.

Park-like Setting

2005 Illio

The Daily Illini is the independent student newspaper at U of I and is distributed all over campus and around Champaign-Urbana

Want community?

Vegetarian meals? Affordable private rooms? www.couch.coop

Now Available. 2 BRs. Centrally located near shopping/ transportation.

Onsite laundry, off-street parking. $450/mo.

217-352-8540, 217-377-4677 pm www.faronproperties.com Downtown apartment/ studio space @ 511 N. Neil, C. 2nd floor, 2000 sqft. 4 huge bedrooms, lots of windows, off- street parking. $1400/mo.

Available August 15. Contact John, James Burch Real Estate, 3692310.

19

Pick up a copy of

2 bedroom and 7 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2004. 367-6626.

INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

buzz weekly •

IF YOU WERE UNDER HOUSE ARREST AND YOU LIVED IN A MOBILE HOME, WOULDN’T YOU BE ABLE TO GO ANYWHERE YOU WANT?

1609 West Church, Champaign Just minutes from the campus.

House features: Arched doorways, Basement, Japanese soaking tub.

Remodeled ready for move in. $115,000.

Call 202-5807.

FSBO.COM#75514.

Place an ad: CLASSIFIEDS

337-8337

www.weinercompanies.com

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