Buzz Magazine: Sept. 8, 2005

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seth fein

SHOULDN’T YOU BE HOLDING THE CRUCIFIX? IT’S THE PROP FOR MARTYRS.

the local sniff

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F**k this Administration and you - If you support them Please welcome Sarah Michelson to the fold ... She voted for the other guy.

SETH FEIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

FIRST SNIFF (AND I

THIS TIME

-

AM CRYING)

How long is the LIE list that Dubya and Co. accumulated since stealing the Presidency in 2000?

Bush never showed up in the Alabama Air National Guard when directly ordered to do so, after requesting a transfer to work in Alabama. Bush used drugs ‌ a lot. Bush told us there were WMD in Iraq. Bush promised us a swift end to the conflict in Iraq. Bush tells us that race had nothing to do with the lack of support that Katrina victims got last week. Bush...

It goes on and on...

Enough is enough. No more whining. It’s time that we, as a people, did something about what is happening to our country. This administration will go down as the worst in history. Even worse than Hoover’s.

More disgusting than Nixon’s. I know it.You know it.

They know it.

Oftentimes, when you dig a hole that is simply too deep, there is just no possible way to climb out of it, no matter how hard you try.

Some day in the future when justice is served, I imagine Bush, Cheney, Condi, Rumsfeld, Goss and all the others in a trench after their terms are up. I can see their faces: cold, scared, tired, hungry.

They are the children that are starving.They are the mothers dying from AIDS in Africa.They are the indigent left for dead in Iraq. They are the victims of neglect from Hurricane Katrina.

How many lies must we sit through before we truly challenge them? How many faulty decisions? How many people must suffer because of the greed and selfishness of just a few people without dignity?

I do not have the answer. I am just a man in a small town in Illinois. I cannot even begin to fathom what must be done to reverse the course of these actions.

I am hurt that, no matter how much I try to stay positive, I am forced to reconcile with the fact that this world is truly crumbling before my very eyes. Between the weather, the wars, the lack of compassion and the hatred, I know that we are in trouble.Very real trouble.

HERE’S A JUMPSTART - LOCALLY...

As cheesy as this may sound, I try to wake up every day and find something or someone to hold on to.

Something that I know will make a difference. What can you do? I have an idea.

This was sent to me by a friend and it pertains to the very nucleus of our current problems. It is called The Shawna Morrison Education Fund. I’ll let you read from here: “Shawna was a faithful and well-loved employee of several local establishments including the Hideaway, the Great Impasta, and Radio Maria. She was a longterm soldier-joined the Army while she was a junior in high school-served in the first Gulf maelstrom (Desert Storm? Desert Shield? whatever) and joined the Guard when her term was up because she wanted to continue both her education and her national service. Despite repeated instances where the Army/Guard held her already earned tuition money, Shawna continued to serve, and, though she was terrified and did not necessarily feel the Guard should be used for such maneuvers, dutifully went to Iraq

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

when her unit was activated last January. She was killed on 5 September 2004 when her barracks was attacked by mortar fire outside Baghdad. She was 26 years old and was, according to the New York Times count based on the defense departments release of names, U.S. military casualty number 983.

In response to Shawna's death, her coworkers at Radio Maria created a scholarship fund-The Shawna Marie Morrison Memorial Scholarship Fund to be exact-in hopes that we could help some other teenager who, like Shawna, felt that military service was their only choice in financing an education. And here's where you come in: We will be hosting a benefit wine-tasting on Sept. 12 at Radio Maria from 7 to 10 p.m. You can taste nine wines from many different wine distributors. In addition, we will have a silent auction that will include works from local artists, fancy wine and many other things. For a mere $5, anyone can participate.

All proceeds will go directly to the scholarship fund.

Life is not about pouting or about not doing the things that are fun and enjoyable. I will admit that over the last week, I have had some difficulty trying to enjoy all that my life has to offer because of my brothers and sisters in the Gulf Coast. But we cannot change what has been done.

The best we can do is try to help out.This is a very easy way if you are not up for volunSeth Fein is from teering your time or giving a Urbana. It’s about straight cash donation. No doubt, time he got a it will be a time to be joyous, to break. Some of the celebrate a true American’s life kids on OB.com and also, a time to reflect on what were starting to is most important. make wisecracks

about his garbage F INAL W HIFF (I HAVE cans! Oh yeah. He DRIED MY EYES) was really hurt by It should be worth noting that one. He can be reached at that I am a little spent these sethfein@ days. I have been working like a hotmail.com. mad man and I need a bit of a break. So, for the time being, I will be only writing a column every other week instead of every week. I know, I know - I am sorry. But hey, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. And this man felt pretty strongly about this next idea.

We need more of a female perspective here at Buzz, don’tcha think? I certainly do.The editor is a man.The two columists are men.The music editor is a man. Sure, we have women who work here and even ones who are editors. But we need more female perspective. And that is why I made the push and got my ol’ high school nemesis-cum-adulthood pal Sarah Michelson in on the ground floor for a bi-weekly column. We went to the same grade school and the same high school and had the same weighted English class with Mr. Stoia. And man did we go at it. Intellectually, that is. Her and her friends were WAY out of my league.

She’ll being doing the local sniff every other week for a while, until I get myself a little more time for the things that are important to me. I will return to doing a weekly soon enough - but in order for her to stay on as a columnist, you are going to have to show your support. Write in and tell us how much you love her.

Or better yet - how much you hate her. One way or the next, we have gotta make room for her, because to be honest, she is twice the writer Coulter and I will ever be. So be sure to read “The Sniff � next week. It’ll be worth it. s o u n d s

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IF LOVE IS BLIND WHY IS LINGERIE SO POPULAR?

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DOWNTOWN CHAMPAIGN UNITES FOR

HURRICANE

RELIEF Have a drink for Hurricane Relief

-RLQ XV WKLV 7KXUVGD\ 6HSWHPEHU IRU D +DSS\ +RXU WR EHQHÂżW relief efforts. Match what you spend in donations to the American Red Cross and participating bar owners will donate a portion of WKHLU SURFHHGV IRU WKH QLJKW -RLQ XV DW DQ\ RQH RI WKHVH ÂżQH locations in Downtown Champaign:

6pm 7pm 8pm 9pm 10pm

Blind Pig Farren’s Barfly Esquire Lounge Mike & Molly’s

120 N Walnut St 308 N Randolph St 120 N Neil St 106 N Walnut St 105 N Market St

Donate at Downtown Businesses Several Downtown Champaign businesses are acting as donation points, collecting money for the Hurricane Katrina Relief fund of the American Red Cross. For a list of donation points, visit www. donatechampaign.org.

Shop / Eat / Drink for Hurricane Relief A number of Downtown Champaign businesses are donating a percentage of their sales to the American Red Cross, so you can enjoy the culture of Downtown Champaign’s bars, restaurants and shops, and make a difference by providing Hurricane Relief. For a list of participating businesses, visit www.donatechampaign.org.

More Downtown Fundraisers Champaign County Hurricane Response Drive: Fri, Sep 9 Hot Diggity Jazz-a-Thon: Sat, Sep 10, Noon-6pm, Hot Diggity %DUĂ€\ )XQGUDLVHU 6DW 6HS %DUĂ€\ Donate School Supplies to: Ward and Associates, 8 E Main

Or, Donate Directly to the American Red Cross www.redcross.org

Thank you to Illini Media Company for their generous advertising donation.

For more information on fundraising efforts, visit:

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FRIENDS BOOK SALE CHAMPAIGN PUBLIC LIBRARY 505 S RANDOLPH Saturday Sept. 10, 9-5 Sunday, Sept 11, 1-5pm Bags of books $1 & Special books 1/2 price. Friday Sept. 9, Friends Presale 4-8pm. Membership $10.

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2005 Illio 12-1pm – Flashback Café 5-6 pm – All Request Rush Hour 9-10 pm – Delusion & Discord

12-1pm – Flashback Café 5-6 pm – All Request Rush Hour 9-10 pm – Shrink Wrap 12-1pm – Flashback Café 5-6 pm – All Request Rush Hour 9-10 pm – Jambana 12-1pm – Flashback Café 5-6 pm – All Request Rush Hour 9-10 pm – Off the Record 12-1pm – Flashback Café 5-6 pm – All Request Rush Hour 9-10 pm – Inner Limits

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I missed the ball by not talking about Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath last week. But honestly, I was having a hard time gathering my thoughts about it.

I mean, seriously, we’re witnessing the worst American natural disaster in recent memory.

A friend of mine told me that watching the news coverage on the hurricane reminded him of watching the news on Sept. 11 and its aftermath.

He’s absolutely right. All we see is destruction and devestation. One of the country’s most populated and visited cities is completely underwater. Can you imagine Champaign and Urbana being submerged?

Imagine this. The entire populations of Champaign and Urbana are forced to evacuate, but you don’t have any means of leaving. You can’t afford a car, nobody in your extended family has a car, or they just cannot leave their lives to pick up you and your immediate family’s lives. What do you do?

You follow the other unfortunate people into Assembly Hall in hopes that the storm will pass through and not completely level the giant structure holding you and 10,000 other scared shitless people in it.

Unfortunately for everyone, the structural integrity of the roof is compromised, and

Call 337-8300 s o u n d s

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AfroSocialiteLifeDive • Tocarra Castleman Local Katrina Relief Fundraiser • Erin Scottberg

LISTEN, HEAR Cover Story - Drum ‘n’ Base at Nargile • Anthony Huang I Don’t Need A Record Deal review • Kyle Gorman Sound Ground #92 • Todd J. Hunter Kanye West review • Imran Siddiquee What the Hell? moment • Cornelia Boonman

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PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

Yearbooks still on sale!

The Local Sniff • Seth Fein This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening First Things First • Michael Coulter

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EDITOR’S NOTE

The Daily Illini is the independent student newspaper at U of I and is distributed all over campus and around Champaign-Urbana

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316 S. State St., C 4/ 5 bedroom home, 2 baths, 2 full kitchens, laundry room. $1100/mo.

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Cover Design • Brittany Bindrim Editor in chief • Paul Wagner Art Director • Claire Napier Copy Chief • Emily Wahlheim Music • Kyle Gorman Arts • Constance Beitzel Film • Andrew Vecelas Community • Erin Scottberg Calendar • Erin Scottberg Photography Editor • David Solana Designers • Brittany Bindrim, Nikita Sorokin, Obumneme Asota Calendar Coordinators • Cassie Conner, Todd Swiss Photography • Austin Happel Copy Editors • Sarah Goebel, Ruth McCormack Staff Writers • Todd Swiss, Paul Prikazsky, Syd Slobodnik, Beth Dillman, Todd J. Hunter Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein Production Manager • Meredith Niepert Sales Manager • Anna Rost Marketing/Distribution • Louis Reeves III Publisher • Mary Cory

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Parkland Theatre Preview • Emily Cotterman Hairstyles of the Damned review • Dan Schuld Artist’s Corner with Adam Dupuis (Th)ink • Keef Knight

THE SILVER SCREEN Hayao Miyazaki: Animation as art • Randy Ma Howl’s Moving Castle review • Paul Prikazsky The Cave review • David Just Movie Time Listings Slowpoke • Jen Sorensen Shades of Gray • Shadie Elnashai Drive Through Reviews

THE STINGER Free Will Astrology Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney

CLASSIFIEDS

Assembly Hall starts to leak. You and 10,000 other people are then moved out of the building only to find that your entire world is underwater, and there’s almost no hope of getting any of it back.

So now you’re standing around on I-57 where it’s dry, and there’s no food or water to consume.

You’re hot, delerious, and, oh, in the sea that used to be your home town, dead bodies are floating by. But the national government doesn’t seem to be helping so much. As far as I can tell, things could not get much worse.

Now back to news coverage. The massive amounts of destruction cannot be shown on TV. Sure, they show us some, but come on, do you honestly think anyone has any idea of just how horrible it is down there by watching the six o’clock news? Hell no!

And on the topic of news coverage, I’m really pissed off at what I see. There’s looting going on, but the news only shows black people looting. What are the white people doing?

Suffering in silence. BULLSHIT! Everyone is looting.And why are they looting? Because they need food and water. They need shoes to wear.

They need clothes because their lives got washed away in the flood. The racial themes present in what I saw disgusted me.

Anyway, I’m out of space. If you can, donate money. Donate clothes. Donate shoes. People need our help. So please, if you can, help them out. Spare your drinking money for a week and help those who really need it.

- Paul

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INDEX

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ROOMMATE WANTED 550

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IF LIFE HANDS YOU A LEMON, STUFF YOUR BRA WITH IT.

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Benefiting the Josh Gotheil Memorial Fund Thursday, September 29th, 7pm - 12 am

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coulter

HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL? BETRAYED, BEWILDERED ... WRONG RESPONSE?

first things first

The real history of Labor Day

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Introductory Lesson - $7 Sat Sept 10

8-9:30 PM

Followed by Social Dance

MICHAEL COULTER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

past Monday, unless you work in a convenience store, a grocery store, the mall, the police ... um, well, some of us were off on Monday anyway. The little kids and grown-ups in third world countries that make our clothes don’t really call it Labor Day. They just call it Monday, but I digress. I wasn’t really sure what Labor Day was, so I looked it up on the Internet. Sure, I could have gone to the library and did some actual research, but honestly, that seemed like a whole lot of work, especially on Labor Day. Initially, I thought the day may have been created with nothing more in mind than to give hard working Americans a well deserved day off. Of course, I was wrong. Labor Day was created by America’s labor movement to honor our workers in 1884. It’s always the first Monday in September. Having it on Monday makes a lot of sense. Ask any worker what the worst day of the week is and they will tell you Monday. If they had it on Thursday, it would just seem cruel.

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LEARN TANGO!!

And how our president turns his job into a day off damn near every day, even when he’s really needed

So, most of us were off this

buzz weekly •

SO THIS IS HELL. AND THERE’S A CRUCIFIX IN IT.

Foundations of Tango It’s a good thing they came up with the holiday back in the 1800’s, because it might be a little tough to justify it in modern times.“This day is for the man who scans the bar codes, the woman who sits in a lawn chair on the interstate holding a highway sign, the grocery checkout person who claims to have carpel tunnel syndrome so she can get disability, the overlooked warrior who drags his mouse across his desk in an effort to create a cool pie chart for the next staff meeting.Today, you are honored.”

I’m being a smart ass and I know there are plenty of folk who work their asses off every day, every week, every year. Still, it’s a little hard to argue that as a nation we work as hard as we used to. It starts from the top down. Piss, how many freaking weeks of vacation does our commander in chief get? It took a natural disaster to get him off his lazy, redneck ass this last time.

Even then, he dicked around for a couple of days before he finally gave in and showed some interest in the people down in Louisiana.

I bet they were thankful as hell he finally got off his ass. What did he do? Fly in, take a look around, hold a press conference and fly away.

Yep, he’s working his sack off.“Well, this is really the shits down here. I think I got drunk here

once when I was in college.We won’t forget you folks. I promise when I get back to my vacation home, I’ll tell all the people I’m in charge of to quit screwing around. Have a good one.”

It’s a bad sign when our president doesn’t say he’ll get to work and make things better, but instead says he’ll get someone else on that right away. Harry Truman used to have a sign on his desk that said “The buck stops here!” Maybe Bush should have a new sign made. “The buck starts here…but we have no idea where it stops.”

He’s not alone though.We used to make our own cars, now we just design them and have workers in some other country actually make most of the parts. Same with our clothes. We got tired of working in the fields all day, so now we have Mexicans sneak over to do that kind of thing. Same with washing dishes. They used to say there was a difference between working hard and working smart. Well, we’ve perfected the idea of working smart.We have others do it for us and then take most of the money for it.

On the street, it’s called pimping, but we now we just call it capitalism.

Our country has worked hard for over 200 years and along the way, we’ve found ways to work less. That’s great. I mean, we actually

have weekends now, something that was unheard of a 100 years ago. Back then, a 40hour workweek meant that you only worked three days that week and would be docked for being a slack-assed bastard for the other four days that week. It’s good we don’t have to work as much as we used to, I’m just saying there might be a point of diminishing returns on a Michael Coulter deal like that. is a videographA great majority of us aren’t er, comedian even tired anymore.We’re fatter and sort of a than ever, and research has smart-ass. But shown that. We still try. After we love him anywork, we go running or play way, and don’t tennis or lift weights, because know why. we feel the need to stay in Probably shape. I’m guessing never in the because he’s so history of coal mining has a damn funny. guy got off work and ran five miles. No guy driving railroad spikes for 12 hours a day has went to the health club and power lifted for two hours before dinner. Work used to make us tired, now it just makes us bored.

I know people still work hard. It just seems like we should have more to show for it.

school of art + design

Faculty Art Exhibition THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 8 · 5:00 – 7:00 p.m.

■ Opening Reception Hosted by the Krannert Art Museum Council

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 11 · 1:00 p.m.

■ Second Sunday Gallery Tour Guided tour of the exhibition by Timothy van Laar, School of Art + Design, UIUC

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Losing control can mean losing a lot more.

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Based on a representative sample of students surveyed at the University of Illinois in February 2004. (1 drink = 12oz beer = 4-5oz wine = 1oz shot)

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damaging your reputation Dr. Joseph Snell

Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion · [217] 333-1861

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Phillips Recreation Center 505 W Stoughton, Urbana Info: Tango.Society@gmail.com WWW.CENTRALTANGO.COM

HEADACHE RELIEF

September 9 through October 2, 2005

September 21 September 28

(4-week course): $30 Mon Sept 12 8:30 - 10 PM

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strong opinions you've been proud of in the past, but which you no longer agree with. Try to get it through your beautiful head that you're not the person you were when you first acquired those old beliefs, and it's time to leave them behind.

CANCER

ARIES

(March 21-April 19)

When I was 19, a masked gunman pumped a load of buckshot into my hip after a student demonstration. To this day, I have 43 pieces of metal in my body. What kind of metal? That's an important question. Until I find out the answer, I can never get an MRI. Medical technicians tell me that unless they're sure the shards in me aren't the kind of metal that could be moved by the MRI's strong magnetic field, they can't risk it. In a worstcase scenario, the shards might move so much they'd cause internal bleeding. And that's the story of how unknown factors from a past event are still affecting my life today. I believe you're now facing a comparable situation, Aries, though in a more metaphorical way. Go get the answers you need.

TAU RU S

(April 20-May 20)

From the window of my office I look down on a blackberry bush whose berries are now ripening. In the last 20 minutes, I've watched a sparrow figure out the best way to feast. At first the bird tried to land on the flimsy branches of the bush, but after a few tries it realized they couldn't hold its weight. Its revised strategy was to grab a single berry in mid-swoop and alight on the branch of a nearby apple tree so it could relax with its meal. It did this ten times. I recommend a similar approach to you, Taurus. According to my astrological analysis, you won't be able to enjoy your treats in the place where you find them. You'll have to pluck them, fly away, and savor them at a distance. Like the sparrow, you should keep returning for refills.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

America's first President George Bush, a Gemini who reigned from 1988 to 1992, had almost as quirky and paradoxical a mind as his son, who is the current leader of the free world. "I have strong opinions of my own," Bush the First once said, "but I don't always agree with them." Let that quizzical gem be your watchword in the coming days, Gemini. Disavow three

(June 21-July 22)

A lot of the teens I know have tattoos, but not my neighbor's 16-year-old daughter Lucretia.Fear of boredom is the main reason. "If I got a tattoo today, I'd be tired of it in six months," she explained to me. "And then what would I do? Undergo the torture of having it erased? I just can't deal with anything that would be a permanent part of me." Make her your role model this week, Cancerian. You're in the most transitory phase of your astrological cycle. For best results, revel in the parade of flashy beauty and captivating diversions, but don't get too attached to any single one.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

You are becoming very relaxed. All tension is flowing out of you.

Your worries are dissolving. With each breath, your body feels a growing sense of peace and well-being. Your mind is expanding naturally, allowing you to experience a harmonious attunement with life. In response, deep sources of practical intelligence are welling up into your awareness, filling you with good ideas about your long-term financial future. Soon you will begin writing down a ten-step master plan that will go a long way toward making you into a money magnet in the next 18 months.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

You don't want to have to answer to the past, right? It's a waste of time. Nor do you even feel like rebelling against the way things used to be or rejecting the stale old expectations people would like to hold you to. I don't blame you, Virgo--especially now, as you enter the frontier zone where the possibilities are limited only by your imagination. The way I see it, it's your sacred duty to shake off all the sacred duties from yesteryear as you go forth to create the future.

LIBRA

what ’s your sign?

that you're currently surrounded by arid extremes, a wealth of revivifying emotional riches lies just below the surface.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Please don't sit on your ass any more than you have to in the coming week. That's always a good rule to observe, but it's especially important to honor it now. The cosmic truth of the matter, Scorpio, is that you can't possibly make the right decisions if your physical energy is stagnant or if your field of vision is unchanging. For the sake of your future, for the health of your emotions, for the love of God, get out into the wild open spaces. And if that's not feasible, at least saunter around the neighborhood more than usual. Here's your motto, courtesy of St. Augustine: Solvitur ambulando, which is Latin for "It is solved by walking."

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec.21)

The entertainment industry foists a lot of garbage on us.

Stupid sex, gratuitous fear, and ugly violence are the norm. TV and film executives defend themselves against critics who accuse them of pandering to the lowest common denominator.

"We merely give people what they want," they say. To put that lame excuse in context, I'll quote Henry Ford, the automotive pioneer: "If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses." I hope that perspective inspires you to aim higher in the coming week, Sagittarius. Don't give anyone (including yourself) what they're accustomed to desiring; give them something better and more beautiful.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Back when it was still a fledgling business in the 1950s, the McDonald's hamburger franchise caught the attention of a salesman named Ray Kroc. He joined the team as an executive, and soon began thinking about buying the company outright.

jonesin crossword puzzle

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

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His advisors counseled him against it, but Kroc said he had "a feeling in his funny bone" that it was the right thing to do. Years later, he had become a billionaire, renowned as one of the world's titans of industry. I'm not necessarily saying you will amass a comparable fortune, Capricorn, but decisions you make in the coming weeks could be as life-changing as Kroc's-and maybe even instrumental in ensuring that you fulfill the mission you came to Earth to carry out. Trust the feelings in your funny bone.

AQUARIUS

Across 1 Tone ___ ("Funky Cold Medina" rapper) 4 Punched-in-the-solarplexus reaction 7 Honest guy 10 Ad-Rock cohort 13 Go to hell ___ hand basket 14 Bad citation after leaving the bar 15 Drink in a ceremony 16 Unit represented by an omega 17 Comedian who plays big interviewer Jiminy Glick 20 Stick in the microwave 21 Name associated with a marble sculp ture collection 22 Mnemonic used for the Great Lakes

23 Island: Fr. 24 "___ Flux" (2005 Charlize Theron movie) 25 Comedian seen at the end of "Dodgeball" letting himself go in a big way 27 Nightstand companion 29 Actor Nick in a disheveled 2002 mug shot 30 Alien critters 31 Visited 35 It'll make your rearview mirror vibrate 36 Comedian who played Fat Bastard to big acclaim 38 Dos to the tercero power 41 Condescending 42 Subject for EMT training

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and celebrate our heroes and

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

I predict that a new fashion trend will arise in the coming months: the intentional cultivation of "sacred acne" as a form of facial decoration. Hip magazines will offer instructions on how to compel pimples to appear in the shape of mythological emblems and religious symbols. I also predict, Pisces, that before the end of 2005 you will figure out how to take advantage of a quality you've always considered a liability. This seeming weakness or unloveliness may even become a spiritual asset. The transformation begins now.

Homework: Make a guess about where you'll be and what you'll be doing ten years from today. Testify at www.freewillastrology.

Big Laughs

45 Fantasia extra?

47 "Get your butt over (to)," in olden days 49 Monty Pythoner who exploded big-time in The Meaning of Life 53 Snuffleupagus's pal, to Snuffy 54 Bust down the castle door 55 Webzine headquar tered in San Francisco 56 Bedroom comedy, say 57 Troop troupe 58 Comedian who donned many big cos tumes in "The Nutty Professor" 60 Opium lounge 61 She Hate Me director 62 Simple bed 63 Shoe width 64 -speak

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Down 1 Newman's Own beverage 2 Ready and vigilant 3 Goods transported by ship, say 4 Oslo god 5 Have power over 6 Earners of net profits?

7 Tiny parts 8 Rerun's headwear 9 Skips the restaurant atmosphere 10 Program basis for Netscape browsers 11 Alpine cottages 12 Current units 18 Chesterfield containers 19 Schnookums 25 Aviary parts?

26 Throws a grenade 28 Poli ___ 32 Comedian Philips once called "a oneman asylum" 33 How kittens may be transported 34 Horror-inducing Himalayans 36 Boggy area 37 Deli option 38 Offer an opinion with out being asked 39 Pants features 40 Androsterone, for one 42 Acted like a finch 43 Acted like a finch 44 Late-night flights 46 First-person figure 48 Ride to the top of the mountain 50 World-weary 51 Not necessarily wiser, it's said 52 "There's ___ in 'T-E-A-M'!"

56 Mess around (with) 59 "What's up, cow?" response Answers pg. 10

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SHE-roes!

• Maya Angelou •

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

I'm taking a risk with the message I have for you this week. My intention is not to flatter you or inflate your ego, and I know that some of you may be tempted to do just that when you read what I have to say. Please resist that temptation. My advice is not meant to jack up your pride but rather is designed to boost your confidence. I want to impress on you how important it is not to seek solutions to your problems from experts, teachers, or anyone beside yourself. Ready for your assignment? Speak the following sentence 20 times a day for the next week: I am the answer.

65 Prez known for Fireside Chats 66 Smooth sax player Dave who was in Arsenio's late-night band 67 Deg. that's all about teeth

The Gobi Desert in Central Asia is one of the world's biggest and most inhospitable wastelands. Temperatures there range from -40 to 113 degrees Fahrenheit. And yet not far below the endless sand is a vast water table. Well-diggers strike water nine out of ten times they drill. I regard the Gobi as an apt metaphor for your current situation, Libra. While it may be true

How important it is for us to recognize

THE UNIVERSAL JOURNEY OF

DIVA

TOCCARA CASTLEMAN • STAFF WRITER

T

hrough the incorporation of movement, sound and text the film adaptation of AfroSocialiteLifeDiva explores the journey of a family of four black women whose stories become blurred as we see that in actuality each woman is the extension of the other; either through lineage or the un-spoken understanding that they share as a black women.

“Part of the reason I develop story the way I do is because there is not supposed to be a linearity to follow” said, Cynthia Oliver, choreographer of AfroSocialiteLifeDiva. “The blurred lines are intentional because it is the whole point of the story, that mother becomes daughter, sister, kin, self and by the end, they are indistinguishable.That is the intention.”

On last Sunday, Aug. 28, at 3p.m. in the Krannert Art Museum, the dance film AfroSocialiteLifeDiva was screened for an audience of both University students and community members.

“I wasn’t expecting all of this,” said Oliver, as audiences gave a standing ovation after the film premiered.

The film is an autobiographical story of the women in Oliver’s own family.The story is visualized through the perspective of one of the female characters.

The film features choreographed dances, along with monologues that described each woman’s individual journey.

The film begins with a visual of the four women walking with their suitcases down a grass hill.

The first character to have an individual section is “Momma,” whose story is told in an empty house.

Next, there’s Momma’s daughter, “The Holy Roller Named Pimp” whose story is featured in the film’s church scene.

“She was so beautiful, a real head turner that brothers nicknamed her pimp," said Oliver. “It was the only name C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

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PHOTO • DAVID SOLAANA

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AfroSocialiteLifeDiva is screened at the Krannert Art Museum.

IMAGE COURTESY OF DFBGCARDS.COM

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WHY DID YANKEE DOODLE NAME THE FEATHER IN HIS HAT MACARONI?

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it, because the plot is so outrageous. Avenging your dear old mother sounds well and good, but I have a feeling she’d be the first one to disapprove. (Just)

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ISN’T TNT ALWAYS HAVING A LAW & ORDER MARATHON?

RED EYE

they could imagine as fitting [and] could hold her beauty in Before the film was screened at the Krannert Art Museum, the odd way that the specific community tried or could it aired on Aug. 25 on the European Television Arts Channel, understand the containment of a woman and her potential Canal Arte. power over men.� “I have the opportunity to convert stage pieces into film in “The Holy Roller Named order to get the message across to Pimp’s� sister’s story follows, in a bigger audiences,� said Behrens. scene in front of a barn in the field. “One word to describe the The final character who is film would be "depth." Because referred to as “another named Mary,� between all the words and expetalks about her experiences in the riences that moved through the ...between all the Caribbean of witnessing “blackness generations of these women, the in celebration.� one thing that is consistently words and experipresent is depth,� said Blossom ences that moved Leilani, a dancer in the film. through the generaOliver got the title of the film he original version of Afrofrom a series of nicknames given tions of these women, SocialiteLifeDiva premiered as a full to her by her good friend, artist the one thing that is length evening stage performance at Vernon Reid. consistently present is Dance Theater Workshop as part of “He gave me this name its Carnival Series in New York City because he was amazed at how depth� in Jan. and Feb. of 2003. when we would go out together -Blossom Leilani The performance was then transin New York, I would easily formed into a 25-minute film in move from one social group of Oct. 2004 under the direction of people to another. It started out German filmmaker Marcus Behrens, with just a few names and evenand filmed on location in the tually he kept adding to it. The Champaign-Urbana community. entire name is almost a paragraph long� laughed Oliver. “After I saw this amazing performance in New York, it “As Another Named Mary,� Oliver herself has a personal conreally stuck in my mind that I have got to get into contact with nection with the Caribbean as she was raised there. She also spent a this woman,� said Behrens. portion of her life in New York.

T

She usually uses the inspiration of her Caribbean upbringing for the storyline of her works. Oliver has been dancing for over 30 years, and said that by the time that she was 12-years-old she knew that she wanted to be a dancer. “I come from a family of people who are exceptional movers,� said Oliver. “Dance and art, aren’t things that I do. They’re just apart of me. I don’t know who I’d be if I didn’t dance.�

Similarly, Oliver’s husband Jason Finkelman, who collaborated with her to provide the music featured in the film and stage adaptation, also described his passion for art as being apart of his spirit.

Finkelman's group Straylight, which he describes as an ‘improvising ensemble,’ has been performing together since the early ‘90s. He explained that for each specific performance the music chosen has to be different. “In order to do music for theater and dance that’s highly text-based the music needs to propel the movement and underscore the dialogue,� said Finkelman.

Finkelman noted that the process of working on the soundtrack for a film as opposed to a live stage performance was a completely different experience. “When you're creating music for film instead of working on music in rehearsal or live performance you don't have the luxury of working off the energy of the dancers in the room, he said.“In this case, I wasn't sure how the music would translate. The director would play the recorded C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

7

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MOVIE NEWS BY SHADIE ELNASHAI

So despite being a little rusty, Shades of Grey is back after an overlong hiatus to bring you those crucial news items without which your week would not be complete.

First up Heath Ledger, who gets respect for his ingenious response to paparazzi. Gone is the traditional lawyer-backed hissy-fit, making way instead for eggs. The Australian actor, whose life highlight is presenting a Golden Globe, attacks them with female gametes, preferably the putrefied variety. "I've thrown an egg.

Not at them, just kind of next to them so it splatters against them".

Cunning. "We can't physically stand up and hit them back, of course, it would be rude ‌ and against the law.

So you just get an egg." Someone should suggest this to fellow Antipodean Russel Crowe.

Both of Jennifer Love Hewitt's fans will be relieved that her recent getting-hit-on-the-head-with-a-chair incident resulted in little more than mild concussion. This poorly masked and highly contrived attempt to save us all from the forthcoming Ghost Whisperer obviously failed, though Shades of Grey would perhaps nix the chair and substitute in a hatchet in an attempt to avoid atrocities such as Gar field, The Tuxedo, Heartbreakers, ad infinitum.

Robert de Niro's former maid employed inventive excuses once she was caught looting a booty that included a $96k necklace: "If he treated me better, with more respect, I probably wouldn't have done this", claims Lucyna Turyk-Wawrynowicz upon her arrest. Citing that famous passage in the Bible "Thou shall not steal unless thy employer's a cad", the Unpronounceable One explained "I didn't steal from Isabella Rossellini because she treated me well".

Rossellini's recent inability to get decent roles will no doubt seem trivial when compared to the esteem of said convicted felon.

Finally, Big Up to the crew and cast of "Aura, IL", whom I left recently.

They are hard at work in Champaign's blazing sun making a corno about barns. I guess this might be considered an in-joke.

THE BROTHERS GRIMM

Rachel McAdams & Cillian Murphy In the end, Red Eye is still a B-movie. It’s an exploitation film that is based solely around thrills to arouse the audience’s interest. For an exciting ride, it’s worth it; an unforgettable movie it’s not. Red Eye marks Craven’s return to the shorter, simpler films of his early career.

Maybe if he had a hand in developing the script, the characters would have been more captivating (Prikazsky) THE SKELETON KEY

Matt Damon & Heath Ledger After a lengthy hiatus, visionary director Terry Gilliam makes his triumphant return with The Brothers Grimm, an uneven though inspired fairy tale. If nothing else, it is a visual feast likely to keep the audience fully satiated.

Unfortunately, this film suffers where so many do: story.

The plot is paper thin and lacks the pure excitement a movie of this caliber should have. It seems too simple and the events unravel too quickly. (Paul Prikazsky) THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN

Kate Hudson & John Hurt Some of the most frightening horror films are so effective because they are grounded in reality. When you realize this could really happen, you’re more likely to sleep with a nightlight on. Films like Rosemary’s Baby, The Omen and The Exorcist (to a certain extent) are stories real enough to make you believe. Skeleton Key isn’t quite in that tier yet, but it sure comes close. (Prikazsky)

Fresh flicks opening this weekend

Steve Carell & Catherine Keener The 40-Year-Old Virgin manages to stay away nicely from being a one-joke feature, as so many other comedies often are.Ultimately, it delivers something that everyone can appreciate and enjoy, virgins or not. The movie teaches us that there can be no progress without risk, and that trying and trying again, is the only way to succeed.

Cheesy? Maybe. But it’s just so funny. (David Just) FOUR BROTHERS

Mark Wahlberg & Andre Benjamin So Four Brothers works as a violent crime drama, but doesn’t effectively capture the characters. It would have been nice to see more dealing with the racial context of their relationship. It’s hard to give the film too much cred-

THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE Laura Linney & Tom Wilkinson Well it’s been about three weeks since the last new horror movie came out, so we’re due for another. Based on a true stor y, Linney plays a lawyer who defends a priest (Wilkinson) against homicide charges after he per forms an exorcism on a young German girl. Sounds like Law & Order meets The Exorcist, which is a pretty creative idea as far as Hollywood horror films go. (Andrew Vecelas)

CHARLIE & CHOCOLATE (PG) Fri. 1:25 4:00 7:00 9:35 12:00 Sat. 11:00 1:25 4:00 7:00 9:35 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:25 4:00 7:00 9:35 THE GREAT RAID (R) Fri. & Sat. 9:20 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 9:20 MARCH-PENGUINS (G) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 Sat. 11:30 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 WEDDING CRASHERS (R) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:40 4:15 7:10 9:50 Sat. 11:10 1:40 4:15 7:10 9:50 RED EYE (PG–13) Fri. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:15 9:30 11:30 Sat. 11:00 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:15 9:30 11:30 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:15 9:30 BROTHERS GRIMM (PG–13) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:45 Sat. 11:00 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:45 TRANSPORTER 2 (PG–13) Fri. 1:30 3:40 5:50 8:00 10:10 Sat. 11:30 1:30 3:40 5:50 8:00 10:10 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 3:40 5:50 8:00 Fri. & Sat. 1:00 3:10 5:20 7:30 9:40 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:10 5:20 7:30 9:40 SKELETON KEY (PG–13) Fri. 1:55 4:30 7:10 9:40 12:05 Sat. 11:10 1:55 4:30 7:10 9:40 12:05 Sun. - Thu. 1:55 4:30 7:10 9:40 40 YEAR-OLD VIRGIN (R) Fri. - Thu. 1:10 4:10 7:10 9:50

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THE CAVE (PG–13) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00 Sat. 11:00 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00 THE MAN (PG–13) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:10 3:05 5:00 7:00 9:20 Sat. 11:15 1:10 3:05 5:00 7:00 9:20 DUKES OF HAZZARD (PG–13) Fri. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:30 12:00 Sat. 11:05 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:30 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:30 A SOUND OF THUNDER (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:30 11:45 Sun. - Thu. 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:30 EMILY ROSE (PG–13) (2 SCREENS) Fri. 2:00 2:30 4:40 5:10 7:20 8:00 10:00 10:45 Sat. 11:20 11:45 2:00 2:30 4:40 5:10 7:20 8:00 10:00 10:45 (2 SCREENS) Sun. - Thu. 2:00 2:30 4:40 5:10 7:20 8:00 10:00 FOUR BROTHERS (R) Fri. 1:40 4:15 7:05 9:35 12:05 Sat. 11:15 1:40 4:15 7:05 9:35 12:05 Sun. - Thu. 1:40 4:15 7:05 9:35 UNDERCLASSMAN (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00

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22 • b u z z w e e k l y

WHAT AN AMAZING ASSHOLE.

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HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE

Japanese animation. His Oscar-nominated Spirited Away packed an emotional punch and provided a window of possibilities into the stagnant world of animation. Long renowned as more than a trashy anime artist, his vision is both magnificent and poetic.

Howl’s Moving Castle has a vague resemblance to his previous PAUL PRIKAZSKY • LEAD REVIEWER effort. Both involve a female heroine lost in a magical world where anything is possible and the characters are just as strange n recent years, the animation field has been almost entirely as they are wonderful.

The girl in question is Sophie (voiced by Emily Mortimer), dominated by two superpowers, Pixar and Dreamworks. But the little-known and vastly underrated Japanese contribution to ani- a timid hatter who falls under the spell of the loathsome Witch mation offers a radical new dimension of depth and heart to a of the Waste (Lauren Bacall). Sophie is transformed into an old crone and is unable to tell a soul about the catastrophe genre that was once ruled by Mickey and Minnie.

If you’re expecting a rendition of Pokemon or a riff on Digimon, that has befallen her.

In search of a cure, she runs across Calcifer (Billy Crystal), you are sorely mistaken.There are many layers to a story as complex as Howl’s Moving Castle. After all, it is based on the novel by a chatty fire demon that runs a monstrosity of odds and ends, Diana Wynne Jones, and her story is one where fantasy meets real- loosely constructed in the form of a castle. The owner is Howl ity and the inhabitants occupy a world strongly reminiscent of a (Christian Bale), a vain wizard at odds with the world. future envisioned by H.G. Wells with fantastical elements by Complications arise when he is called upon to stop a war being waged between the humans and an army of mutant birds hell bent Tolkein just for good measure.

Writer/director Hayao Miyazaki is the driving force behind on utter destruction.

Howl’s Moving Castle is a real trip. The excitement and humor meet in a nice equilibrium and move the story to a whole different level. It’s a cartoon with all the depth and character development of a live action film. There are multiple facets to the cadre of characters and their feelings of fear, love, jealousy and yearning are far removed from any fish in Finding Nemo.

The animation is peerless when compared to the now-commonplace computerized imagery from our friends at Pixar. Hayao opts for a more archaic form, but imbues intricate details and vivid colors to capture his extraordinary vision. From the fleets of bomb-dropping war machines to the serene flowery fields of Howl’s childhood, each scene is overwhelming and wonderful.

Unfortunately, there are flaws. Japanese animators reuse three different animated personages: the beautiful, the mundane and the grotesque.

Each character has the enormous round eyes and porcelain skin of its anime roots. These are the characters that have been copied countless times and stored into the public conscious as the comHOWL’S MOVING CASTLE • JOSH HUTCHERSON & CRISPIN FREEMAN (VOICES) mon perception of Japanese animation. Had Hayao spiced up the people that populate his unique

There are places man was never meant to go, and the theater

showing Bruce Hunt’s The Cave is one of them. The movie’s audience doesn’t just deserve their money back, they deserve an apology.

The Cave doesn’t quite know what it wants to be. Part of it is trying to be a horror film, but it isn’t scary. Another part wants to be an action/thriller, but it isn’t exciting. And yet another part wants to be a fun popcorn movie. If that’s the case, my popcorn is stale. And overbuttered.

After discovering an unexplored cave in Romania, a team of elite American cave explorers, none of whom appear to be over the age of 25, begin the daunting task of descending into the massive cavern. The team is led by Jack (Cole Hauser). He and Buchanan (Morris Chestnut) have performed countless undersea exploration and cave diving missions together. Jack’s brother, Tyler (Eddie Cibrian), is the lead scout for the crew. His scouting couldn’t have been all that good, because once they enter the cave they can’t find their way out and are attacked by malicious man-eating predators.

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worlds, his vision would truly have been a remarkable one.

But who’s breathing life into these characters? It’s not the Alist cast with bloated salaries and egos to match. These are real actors. Each one brings experience and raw emotion to characters that would normally be paper-thin. Christian Bale speaks with a haughty sense of smugness that compliments Howl’s personality to a T, And Lauren Bacall turns the Witch of the Waste into something far from a typical villainess. Her Hollywood wisdom and raspy vocals turn the witch into much more than just another obnoxious genie á la Robin Williams.

But it is Howl’s titular castle that is the glue of the story and is built much like Miyazaki’s tale. It’s a conglomeration of loose ends, mish-moshed together to create something bizarrely beautiful and captivating.

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ISN'T DISNEY WORLD JUST A PEOPLE TRAP OPERATED BY A MOUSE?

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While the performances in the movie are bad across the board, the problem lies more in the words coming out of their mouths.

Buchanan, before entering the cave, warns the team, “Its already taken at least one life. Respect the cave.” Sounds like he has about three days experience on the job.

About the only thing worse than the film’s script and acting is its directing. The Cave just can’t seem to get anything right. Hunt, in his directorial debut, seems to have set the pacing to a completely different film.The cuts are so quick and immediate that not only is it impossible to orient yourself with the action, but it loses all potential to be scary. Horror direction ought to be slow and methodical. The Cave is fast and sloppy. It doesn’t allow us an opportunity to see the gigantic sets, which may be one of the few THE CAVE • MORRIS CHESTNUT bright spots in the film.

There is a scene in The Cave that defies all logic and reason. claw moves itself. And the movie reaches a new low.

In a year that has seen its fair share of horror movies, from Jack battles with one of the predators and cuts one of his claws off. The team’s scientist, Katherine (Lena Headey), examines Boogeyman to The Amityville Horror and more recently, The the 12 inch claw and can only conclude “It’s a predator.” Well, Skeleton Key, The Cave ranks near the bottom.Trap the writers, glad we got that cleared up. As she continues to study the claw, director and actors in a cave for two weeks and whatever movie it moves violently to the loud crash of the soundtrack.Yes, the they create will be better than The Cave.

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music on the set and he enhanced it through the editing process.”

In addition to the production of music being a different experience for Finkelman as a musician, Leilani also said that as a dancer, performing in the film version of AfroSocialiteLifeDiva was different.

“It was hard to remember that if we made a mistake we could just stop and do it again,” said Leilani.

Oliver herself has admitted that she was apprehensive about turning the live performance into a film. This was the first time that any of her works had been made into a film version.

“It was exciting, exhausting and terrifying.

Film is forever. Live performance is something that comes and goes,” said Oliver.

Yet, judging from the positive responses that she received on Sunday, it appeared that the mission of getting the audience to understand the layers of these women’s lives and their bonds with one another had been successfully accomplished.

“I really loved it. I really think that it offered a unique personal narrative approach that’s uncommon,” said Sara Hook, Interim

Head of the Department of Dance at the University, and filmgoer. “It was a welcoming work that had so much to do with our history and our womanhood.”

While working on this film as well as the stage version of AfroSocialiteLifeDiva, Oliver’s main concern was that the audiences understood the beauty of these women and their struggles, pain, happiness, loves and how they comfort and support one another.

Oliver is currently a dance instructor at the University of Illinois and is working on future projects such as pieces on intimacy and Calypso, a form of Caribbean music and dance.

The film begins and ends in the same fashion, inferring that ultimately these women who are interconnected live and experience within one circular understanding of life.

The narrator says, “They were a family of women. Generations. Mothers and Daughters.

Sisters and friends. Each a part of the other.

Radically different and somehow yet the same.

She is AfroSocialiteLifeDiva.”

As Oliver said, the story continues. Not only the story and journey of the black women in her family, but black women universally.

She is.They were.They are, and will be. buzz

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WHY IS GRAPE NUTS CEREAL CALLED THAT, WHEN IT CONTAINS NEITHER GRAPES, NOR NUTS?

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A good excuse to drink

Modern life is so thin and shallow and fake.

I look forward to when developers go bankrupt, Japan gets poorer and wild grasses take over.

ERIN SCOTTBERG • AROUND TOWN EDITOR

Hayao Miyazaki

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nimation is written off for two reasons: it is viewed as low-art and it is childish. The form is inherently associated with cartoons, comics and doodles. The only thing considered worse is “Japanimation.� Ever since Tezuka Osama created the style of characters with huge, glaringly reflective pupils, the public, except for the select few who worship it, has refused to accept anime and manga.

When I asked my anime friends their opinion of Japanese animator Miyazaki Hayao, their answer baffled me.“I don’t see why he’s such a big deal,� was the response.

To understand the importance and genius of Hayao requires a crash course in anime aesthetics. For starters, most anime is based off manga, the Japanese equivalent of comic books. Anime produced in Japan either panders to children or your Adult Swim fan, ranging from teenage to middle age. It is very rare that these programs find a medium enjoyed between the two groups.

The animation in anime is enormously constrained due to the constant deadlines to produce more episodes. This in turn causes the show to repeat frames of action, forces the camera to remain on a still frame, and provides very little character movement and expression. The process works, to an extent, allowing quality programming and above cartoon animation for many anime shows. It is here that Hayao separates himself from the rest of his colleagues.

Hayao is known not only for creating fully rendered animation, but also for providing enormous amounts of extra detail in his art. His creations resemble life through minute facial expressions, physical quirks and visual depth. In his most popular film, My Neighbor Totoro, the plot revolves around two sisters who discover Totoro, a forest troll, in the woods next to their house. There is little dialogue between the main characters throughout the film, but plot is still clear to

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Wisely ignoring the history of the curse, Hayao tells a story about friendship in the midst of fascism and uses Porco’s appearance as a foil for humanity at its best and worst.

This kind of narrative insight is common in all of Hayao’s projects such as Castle in the Sky, Kiki’s Delivery Service and the various other films previously mentioned, but it is the universal themes that attract children and adults to these films. In My Neighbor Totoro, the plot is not centered on a conflict but on the characters. The two sisters, Satsuki and Mei, have a bond that is passed on to Totoro.

While it is known that their mother suffers from an illness, it is the bond between these three fr iends that provide the narrative and not the danger of their mother’s health, though it is an important aspect of the story. Even his classic television show Lupin III remains in such high regard as revolutionary Astroboy and American cartoons from Warner Bros, Hanna-Barbera, and of course, Disney.

There is a reason that Disney has tried to release all of Hayao’s films in America since the early ‘90s. He has the same appreciation for animation and mentality for story telling as Walt Disney.

The influence of Disney is a natural outgrowth from anime/manga ‘god’ Tezuka Osama, whom all anime branches from, to Hayao. It is even said that Hayao might save Disney animation in the years to come.

In a time where 2D animation is being discarded for 3D rendered digital animation, it is important to have an animator like Hayao. He is not only innovative but also motivates others to show that hand drawn animated films still can remain relevant. It holds a classic artistry and vibrancy that computer generated images cannot emulate.

While Disney is closing down its animation studio, Hayao’s studio, Ghibli, remains active creating blockbusters in Japan and overseas. He is an important figure not only in the anime community but the film community in general.

Hayao is a creative voice that is desperately needed in Hollywood, where ideas are lacking and innovation is rarely encouraged. buzz PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY NIKITA SOROKIN

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the audience. A sense of mystery, friendship and wonder can be seen through subtlety in their facial expressions that very few real actors can produce.

But Hayao also holds an extravagance to his films that visually awes and inspires.

Whether it is the science fiction adventure Howl’s Moving Castle or the Alice in Wonderland fantasy Spirited Away, he presents soaring environments and imaginative worlds.Where many animated features provide constrained backgrounds as set pieces merely to serve the plot, Hayao is noted for producing canvases of landscaping for his settings. He provides meticulous detail such as empty bottles on a pond floor, tadpoles in a puddle or water droplets on grains of grass, creating a sense of history and scope that immerses not only his characters, but his audience as well.

A gifted storyteller, Hayao fuses Japanese folklore with his own imaginative tales of wonder. In Princess Mononoke, he tells the tale of a young boy searching for a cure for a fatal curse, only to be caught in the middle of a war between worlds: nature vs. machine. Death is an inevitability and the danger is quite apparent and real.There is love, sacrifice, and even an allegory about imperialism beneath the surface of the story.

In Porco Rosso, the eponymous main character is a pig. A period piece set in WWII Italy, the film combines noir, politics, comedy and a bit of swashbuckling in a rousing actionadventure. There is emotional weight to the film, not because of sympathy that Porco is cursed as a pig, but because of his isolation and regret over the past.

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drink tonight. Just make sure it’s at one of five downtown bars that are making it easy for drinkers of all types, from “I have an occasional glass of wine with dinner� to “If I don’t show up at Piccadilly by 5:00 p.m. the employees get worried� to raise money for the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

Each participating bar will donate a portion of tonight’s profits to the Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund. Patrons are asked to match what they spend on drinks in a donation as well.

However, there is no minimum donation, whatever is affordable is welcome.

The Hurricane Relief Bar Crawl is only one part of a larger initiative of fund-raising efforts in the downtown Champaign area.

Event founders Amanda Bloomfield, Ed Thompson and Holly Krieger devised the bar crawl as an event to benefit Katrina refuges without taking time out of people’s lives “It’s a way to raise money and unify the downtown area in a way that people would do anyway,� said Bloomfield.

Although some may feel guilty about drinking at a bar on dry land while so many people are suffering in one of the nation’s worst natural disasters, including 21-year-old University of Illinois senior Jenny Boyle, many realize that it’s a way to rally the normal habits of the Champaign-Urbana community for a good cause. “It’s an odd concept. Only in a bar town like Champaign can you use the alcoholic tendencies of twenty-ish year old kids to raise a potentially large amount of money for relief,� said Boyle.

Start off the evening with one of more than 70 varieties of beer at the Blind Pig, 120 N. Walnut, Champaign, and continue switching bars every hour until 10 p.m., when the event converges at Mike ‘n Molly’s, 105 N. Market St., Champaign. Participants can register at any time at any of the participating locations.

Other downtown businesses will also be sharing their profits with the Red Cross and have donation boxes. Hot Diggity!, 501 N. Neil, Champaign, has pledged to donate 10 percent of their day’s profit on any day in September that they make more than $50 in sales.

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DRUM ‘N’ BASS AT NARGILE’S “CONTACT” music would attract other local supporters of the drum ‘n’ bass scene, who would serve as the lifeblood of his new night. Naturally, the man Diggs turned to was Armands Revelins, aka DJ Geist. A long-time supporter and veteran of the local drum ‘n’ bass scene, Revelins brought to the table what could have taken months for Diggs to accomplish. In a short matter of time, the two formed a very sensible working relationship in hopes of solidifying the drum ‘n’ bass presence in Champaign-Urbana.

Geist, which means “spirit” or “mind” in German, is a fitting alias.

Revelins is in his fifth year of the doctorate program in philosophy at the U of I. An avid collector of vinyl records, he has amassed an impressive catalogue of bootlegs, white labels and rare out-of-print recordings. The wall of “infinite respect,” dedicated to drum ‘n’ bass’ most influential labels, is his collection’s greatest point of interest.

“I’ve found it worthwhile and interesting to track the history of certain producers and labels. Hearing how a producer wrote a song on synthesizers and equipment that by today’s standards is considered cumbersome, and comparing it to efforts by the same or other producers on very advanced and current computers and gear is fascinating,” admits Revelins.

“It’s not always the case that the more recent stuff is an improvement. In a way, when producers weren’t overwhelmed with possibilities, they managed to write songs that evoked different kinds of moods and attitudes quite clearly.

Collecting records is a means for comparing the development and elaboration of styles and expressions.”

Although this is not the first time drum ‘n’ bass has been introduced to Nargile, Revelins expects “Contact” to be successful.Attendance has increased steadily, and Revelins acknowledges that word of mouth has been key in keeping the culture alive. “There was drum ‘n’ bass in C-U before ‘Contact,’ and there will be drum ‘n’ bass in C-U afterwards.” buzz PHOTOGRAPHS BY AUSTIN HAPPEL

argile Lounge has introduced a new format to liven up their weekly lineup. Wednesdays now feature “Contact,” a night of drum ‘n’ bass music sponsored by Urbana-Champaign Drum ‘n’ Bass (UCDNB). Since opening, the bar has experimented with bringing niche music (indie rock, house and var ious inter national dance musics) to its doors.

Drum ‘n’ bass (also referred to as D&B, drum & bass, or jungle) is a subgenre of electronic music known for its ferocious basslines and frantic percussion. The obligitory use, or misuse, of sub bass often makes the music seem aggressive and masculine. The antithesis to sugary-sweet electronic musics such as trance and house. Drum ‘n’ bass is emotional music.

It can be raw and abrasive or quite the opposite, light and funky.

Unlike most other subgenres of electronic dance, it lacks the steady, repetitive beat. The groove of drum ‘n’ bass comes from its breakbeats.The term “breakbeat” is derived from funk and disco, in which dancers were encouraged to let loose during the percussion-only section of the track. More recently, modern technology allowed for the creation of loops, which in turn spawned the idea of looping breaks into a full song. With the standard tempo of a track ranging from 160-180 beats per Local DJs lay down drum ‘n’ bass at Nargile’s Wednesday nights minute, this is music that would not exist without digital aid. A human drummer would find it near impos- floor beneath everyone’s feet. Most fans are there to genuinely expesible to sustain the inside ryhthms at such a speed for a pro- rience an intimate connection between the DJ, audience and music.

“I like it, it’s a change,” says bartender Rollins Duckwitz. longed period of time. Therefore, the appropriate philosophy behind drum ‘n’ bass is to embrace technology and continually Duckwitz feels the new musical alternative will provide for a strive for innovation and change. By incorporating a wide range better atmosphere, and hopes to see attendance increase over of influences, including the broken-beat funk of James Brown and the next few months.

The introduction of “Contact” was primarily the work dub-plates of old reggae records, newer drum ‘n’ bass has done exceptionally well at incorporating hip-hop MCs and jazz into the of Nargile employee Michael Raphael Diggs. Diggs enlistmix. The UK has been almost universally accepted as the birth- ed the help of UCDNB, which began as a small group of place of drum ‘n’ bass, with pioneers such as Goldie, Roni Size and friends playing records for each other. Their passion towards the music culminated in the website LTJ Bukem, but artists can be found on any corner of the globe.

“What I like is that there’s so much energy. The music is UCDNB.com, an outlet for the junglist ethos in C-U. really satisfying and it makes me feel good,” says local drum ‘n’ Since launching in Aug. 2004, it has become an gathering spot for the drum ‘n’ bass culture, with news, a message bass supporter Reuben Mele.

The basement of Nargile is warm and inviting. Flavored hookahs board, music recommendations, event listings and their and arcade games keep the customers happy, and the aquarium above own house parties.

Since day one, Diggs understood that the support and approval the bar radiates with a soft glow as the neon lights by the dancefloor burst in unpredictable directions. The rumbling of the bass shakes the of local drum 'n' bass DJ’s was essential. Good DJ’s and good

‘Contact’ goes down from 9pm till close every Wednesday night at the the lower level of Nargile in downtown Champaign. For more information on drum ‘n’ bass Bass music or to get involved, visit www.ucdnb.com.

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G’S UP, HOES DOWN

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Adam Dupuis

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TOO MANY PIECES OF MUSIC FINISH TOO LONG AFTER THE END. - igor stravinsky

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My name is Adam Dupuis I am currently a senior 2-D studio art major at Eastern Illinois University.

I was born in Kankakee Ill., where I attended grade school through my sophomore year of high school.

I then moved to Springfield Ill., and graduated high school and began studying art at Lincoln Land Community College. After a year there I took a year off of school and moved to Champaign, before deciding to transfer to EIU. I plan on graduating in the next year and going on to graduate school to receive my masters degree in studio art with an emphasis on painting, and then find a job teaching at a university. Over the past four years I have participated in numerous shows at galleries on the Lincoln land community college campus, Burl Ives gallery and the Tarble Arts Center on the EIU campus. Here in Champaign I’ve had the opportunity to show my work at Cafe Kopi.

What are you most proud of?

I am always most proud of the newest piece I have finished.

Each painting is a learning experience. Whether the piece is successful or not, you can always learn from your mistakes and this keeps your work constantly evolving and growing.

What inspires you?

There are many things I have found that inspire my work.

Currently I am working with medical diagrams and photographs taken through high-powered microscopes. I was interested in using these naturally occurring organic compositions as the basis for the paintings in this series.

How did you begin painting?

I began painting when I was in grade school and I can remember my mom signing me up for classes through the park district in Kankakee. The class focused on regional landscapes.

I took as many art classes as I could in high school and when it came time to make a decision for college, art seemed the obvious choice.

What artists have you been influenced by?

A few artists that have been huge influences on my work are Duffy, Kandinsky, Picasso, Munch and Warhol. I know there are many more but these are always the first that came to mind.

What other mediums have you worked with?

Out side of painting with oils, acrylics and water color, I have done work with photography, ceramics and metals. Ceramics and metals are a good digression from painting because they allow me to work in another dimension.

Adam can be reached at adamfdupuis@yahoo.com s o u n d s

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SE P. 8

Life is something that everyone should try at least once.

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sound ground #92 TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

Henry J. Tillman

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s a new semester begins at Champaign-Urbana, students are settling down and getting used to the hectic schedule of classes. But after a couple weeks, boredom strikes.Those who are tired of the party scene, but don't want to stay in the dorms should consider checking out Parkland Theatre. Northwest of U of I, the theatre is located on the Parkland College campus. Parkland presents an array of cultural events and offers a nice change in scenery for those itching to go somewhere different.

This September kicks off the fall theatre season.According to the Parkland Theatre website, which lists all upcoming shows, the first play is The Exonerated. A drama, it "tells the true and moving stories of six wrongfully convicted survivors of death row in their own words." Beginning with a preview performance on Sept. 28 at 8 p.m., one can see The Exonerated on Sept.

30 and October 1 and 6 through 8 at 8 p.m., as well as Oct. 9 at 3 p.m. For those wanting to save some cash, all tickets are half-price from the usual $8 student admission on Oct. 6.

Parkland also has a discussion with the actors and the director after the Sept. 30 show for audience members wanting to immerse themselves in the theatre experience.

The second show is Bat Boy:The Musical, a pop/rock musical on "the amazing story of a half-boy/half-bat creature and his struggle to find love and acceptance". The website description goes on to say the musical is a cross between My Fair Lady and Edward Scissorhands.

Parkland Theatre Promotions woman Leah White hopes to “reach different people” with Bat Boy. “There are a lot of people who will get a kick out of it,” said White.

For anyone who is interested in flexing their acting muscles, Parkland is holding open auditions for the musical on Sept. 10

and 11. U of I students and community members are encouraged to try out. There will be a cast of 10-14, and all members will be 18 or older. Call 217-351-2476 for more information.

“It’s a great theatre for a lot of people to act in,” said White.

A preview performance of Bat Boy:The Musical will occur on Oct. 26.The other shows are Oct. 28 and 29 as well as Nov. 4, 5, 10, 11 and 12 at 8 p.m.There is also a matinee on Nov. 6 at 3 p.m.

Tickets are half-price on Nov. 10.A talk back with the actors and director will be after the Oct. 28 show.

The final production for the semester is completely run by Parkland students. Students decide which play to perform, handle all aspects of production, and act. Their decision will be announced in October.The performances will be in Dec. on the 7, 8, 9, 10 at 8 p.m. and Dec. 10, 11 at 3 p.m.

“It’s a great season,” said White.“It’s a very socially- based season.” The plays are “really great and really diverse”.

For the spring semester, Parkland Theatre will be performing That Takes Ovaries, a play about bold women, Agatha Christie’s The Mousetrap, and the Pulitzer Prize-winning Angels in America Part One: Millennium Approaches.

General admission is $10, students (over 12), seniors and Parkland faculty and staff members pay $8, and tickets for kids 12 and under are $6. All Wednesday night previews are $4.99, with the exception of the student production.The same rules apply for all half-price Thursday night tickets.

For groups over 15, there are special discounts, along with the ability to pick seats; otherwise there is just general seating. For more information call 217-351-2528 or email theatre@parkland.edu. For group discounts call 217-373-3874. The website is www.parkland.edu/theatre Parkland College is also home of the Staerkal Planetarium and the Parkland Art Gallery. The planetarium has live sky shows called Prairie Skies and Just Imagine on Friday and Saturday evenings. At 9:30 p.m. on these days is the Rock and

Hairstyles of the Damned DAN SCHULD

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literature

Have you ever fallen in love with a girl with a

blue mo-hawk and spent days locked in your room trying to construct the perfect mix-tape for her, debating over how many Dead Milkmen tracks to include, what order to put them in, and whether or not to include the song “Punk Rock Girl,” only to scratch the whole ordeal deciding that it was altogether too cheesy and obvious?

No? Well then you can stop reading this right now because you’re a poseur anyway. As for the rest of you who didn’t even have to think before answering this question honestly, this is your book. Everyone else can “suck it.”

This is the general attitude of Joe Meno’s third novel, Hairstyles of the Damned (2004). Personally, I had never even heard of Joe Meno until this summer when a relative of mine suggested I read his

Roll Light Show, a much louder and less educational show.

Light shows are $5 each. More information is available at: www.park-land.edu/coned/pla.

Parkland Art Gallery features the Parkland Art Faculty Exhibition until Sept 22.

Next is the Commercial/Visions/Personal/Illustrations exhibit which will be on display starting Sept. 28 until Oct. 27. The exhibits are free.

For more info, visit: www.parkland.edu/gallery.

this week in music

singers Joni Laurence and Angie Heaton and alternative acts Relenter and i:scintilla are donating all profits from sales at CD Baby to the Red Cross. In addition, i:scintilla is donating its cut of the door Saturday at Cowboy Monkey to the Red Cross. A list of the hundreds of CD baby artists donating to the American Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund is available at http://cdbaby.com/group/redcross.

Joni Laurence recently returned from the NewSong Festival in Shepherdstown, W. Va., and is soon off to the Pacific Northwest for a tour that starts Sept. 14 and spans 12 dates in Washington and Oregon. Angie Heaton performs Saturday at 8 p.m. for Corkscrew After Dark at Corkscrew Wine Emporium. This is a free, smoke-free show where wine and non-alcoholic beverages are available.

Corkscrew Wine Emporium is located at 203 N. Vine St. in Urbana, across from Schnucks. Then Sunday, Angie Heaton and her backing band the Gentle Tamers open for The Knitters at The Highdive. Show time is 9 p.m., and cover is $18 in advance, $20 at the door. Saturday at Cowboy Monkey, i:scintilla plays with Sanya N’Kanta, Krukid and The Firebird Band. Show time is 10 p.m. and cover is $5.

Terminus Victor has a track on the October Copper Press sampler. Copper Press is a post-punk magazine out of Acme (Michigan) with national distribution.Terminus Victor is also in line for inclusion on the Hopeless/Sub City Records Take

I Don’t Need A Record Dea! KYLE GORMAN • MUSIC EDITOR

Action! Vol. 5 compilation, concurrent with a Spring 2006 tour of the East Coast. As Terminus Victor’s album ‘Under Surveillance’ is pressed, guitarist Don King and his wife are in Asia for two weeks to adopt a daughter. Under Surveillance is due Sept. 27, and the release party is Oct. 14 at Cowboy Monkey with JigGsaw. Show time is 10 p.m., and cover is $4.

Tuesday at The Highdive, Subversion incorporates more live music with Austin darkwave duo The Machine in the Garden: sort of a chilled out Rainer Mar ia with flashes of Loreena McKennitt. Also aboard are DJs TwinScin, Evily, and ZoZo. Show time is 10 p.m., and cover is $3.

Shipwreck, The Chemicals, and Megan Johns/The Greytones play acoustically tonight at The Courtyard. San Franciscan neo-folkie Nedelle headlines. Show time is 8 p.m., and cover is $5 ($3 with valid UIUC student ID).Tomorrow at 5:30 p.m., BMW Organ Trio performs a free happy hour at Cowboy Monkey.The Urbana band blends traditional and modern jazz. BMW Organ Trio is organist Leigh Meador, guitarist Matthew Warnock, and drummer Chris Baker. Then at 10 p.m., elsinore plays at The Iron Post with Theory of Everything and Jenny Keefe. Cover is $3.

#92

EMILY COTTERMAN • STAFF WRITER

music

In response to Hurricane Katrina, folk

PARKLAND THEATRE FALL PREVIEW

buzz weekly •

I’VE GOT A WHOLE FLASK HERE THAT SAYS YOU’RE WRONG

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literature

Subtitled “Your survival guide for the indie music revolution,” Daylle Deanna

Schwartz has compiled a useful guide to those who desire to make music the independent way. Schwartz is all business; she doesn’t talk style, but works with the assumption that the reader already has “THE GOODS” (capitalization hers). This is truly a thorough guide, as she touches on such diverse topics as health on tour and touring internationally in addition to some more obvious ones. Daylle creates a case for artists to consider independence, then really provides the goods herself when it comes to covering the subject with mounds of research.

One of the major themes of the book may come as a suprise – she suggests many ways for an independent musician to embed themselves in corporate goingson in addition to her DIY advice.

There are chapters on licensing, marketing, music editing, and other “serious biz” outlets.

Schwartz uses a LOT of quotations from musicians and industry people, so many that readers are likely to filter them out. Clint Black and Michelle Shocked are probably the two best known contributors, but most others are unknowns, or humorously forgotten, like Speech of Arrested Development.

Despite that, I Don’t Need A Record Deal is a excellent starting point for musical artists wondering how they fit into it all.

Todd J. Hunter hosts WEFT Sessions and Champaign Local 901, two hours of live local music every Monday night at 10 p.m. on 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com.

Daylle Deanna Schwartz will be speaking about her book next Sunday, Sept. 11 at 8p.m. This show occurs at The Courtyard at the Illini Union and is gratis.

Bat Boy - RCA and Dramatists play service, inc.

latest novel. From the moment I picked up the book I found myself saying “God-damn-it, this guy wrote my book!!!” The book’s hero, Brian, is a kid from a small suburb bordered on three sides by Chicago called Evergreen Park (my hometown), who goes to school at Brother Rice High School, an all boys Catholic prep school (my alma mater). Southside!

As far as plot goes, it is a Neo-Salinger-esque tale of deeply romantic proportions. In a world where racism and classism are the law, Brian finds himself struggling to carve out an identity for himself, while at the same time realizing that he is madly in love with his best friend Gretchen, an overweight brawling punk chick. Brian’s journey is a vivid trip into the high school underground, complete with basement rock shows, cheap beer, shwag pot and parking lot fights.

And if anyone doubts the validity of the racial

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Just a stone's throw away is ChampaignUrbana's landmark for the finest in nachos, fajitas, burgers, italian beef, BBQ ribs, steaks, salads, and sandwiches. Stop in for lunch or dinner from 11 am daily and help us

book review

tensions in the novel, I will tell you from personal experience that Meno is actually quite tame in his depictions. The part about having separate black and white senior proms in 1991 really did happen!

Overall, the book is not a literary masterpiece, but it’s heartbreakingly honest nonetheless. A must read for anyone who has ever seen themselves reflected in the lyrics of The Who’s Baba O’Reilly.

Not to mention anyone who finds themselves in dire need of a good old fashioned wrong-timewrong-place teenage erection story.

Meno is a professor of creative writing at Columbia College in Chicago, and winner of the 2003 Nelson Algren Award for short fiction. He is also the cofounder of Sleepwalk magazine, coeditor of Bail magazine, and a columnist for Punk Planet magazine. His earlier novels include Tender as Hellfire (1999) and How the Hula Girl Sings (2003). s o u n d s

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DJ Chef Ra [roots, reggae] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ JB [roots, reggae] Barfly, 10pm, free Contact: DJ Raphael Kroshay, TBA [drum ‘n’ bass night] Nargile, 9pm, free Mix It, Reverse It: DJ Randall Ellison [club house, latin, dancehall] Chester St., 9:30pm, free DJ Missus Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, TBA

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Kanye West Late Registration Roc-A-Fella

BY IMRAN SIDDIQUEE

If you are like me, you couldn’t wait to hear the new Kanye West album, and you downloaded a leaked version two months ago.You felt guilty, but one listen to a rough cut of “Hey Mama” and you forgot all that. You spent hours holed up in your room singing, dancing and getting choked up over Mr. West’s simple sincerity. With a line like “mommy I’m gonna love you till you don’t hurt no more / and when I’m older you ain’t got to work no more,” this song captured a universal feeling of love while inhabiting a gorgeous musical space; it was perfect, or so I thought.

Then Kanye hired Jon Brion, added even more background vocals, soaring synthesizers, a little twinkle bell and an outro consisting solely of West repeating “mama, mama, mama.” These are the marks of genius. Kanye West, more than anything, is a man with undeniable drive. He would never settle for just a great song; with Late Registration he repeatedly reaches for the level of legendary.

With the sequel to last years phenomenal College Dropout, Kanye is no longer trying to revolutionize rap music, he’s here to create a whole new genre.

Though he doesn’t quite blaze an entirely new path, he lights the way; showing us what might be some day.

Songs like “Hear ‘Em Say”, which features the vocals of Maroon 5’s Adam Levine, transcend the hip-hop community while still holding onto the soul.

That’s something Kanye has always been aware of, re-injecting soul into what was an increasingly lifeless genre. “Gold Digger” and “Addiction” reveal Ray Charles and Etta James to a whole new generation, without relying too heavily on the sped-up vocal samples that West popularized.

What Brion brings to this work is the flourishes with which almost every song ends; things don’t just fade out, they work themselves out. The Fiona Apple producer combines with Kanye to delve deep into the melodies to get everything they can out of each note. Sometimes they overdo it, “We Major” runs past 7 minutes, but their immense effort is what is most visible and in the end what makes this a better album than College Dropout.

Lyrically, Kanye is far from being the king of Roc-A-Fella, but most are too quick to claim that superior rappers could do these songs better. The fact remains that Kanye appeals to the masses precisely because of his faults, like when on “Addiction” he admits; “everything that supposed to be bad makes me feel so good.”

In his unsureness, his trepidation to say anything too revolutionary or too nasty, lies his greatest and most frustrating asset. There is a passion in this guy that comes to the surface only occasionally, he never lets himself completely go, and will often regress to tired clichés of hip-hop.Yet he is wholly aware of this hypocrisy. Recently on MTV he came out strongly against all the gaybashing (himself included) in rap music and then during a live concert on NBC he labeled the government’s relief efforts in New Orleans as “racist” towards African-Americans.

Kanye covers up his insecurities with a fake-bravado and charm which continue to sell him records and earn millions of fans, but slowly, ever-soslowly, he is revolutionizing the way America perceives the AfricanAmerican superstar, inserting a self-consciousness that creates more human, conscious and expressive works of art.

buzz weekly •

WE COULD GO BACK HOME...HAVE SOME DINNER AND POP IN THE SISQO CD...NO?

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GET ACTIVE

Work as a Planned Parenthood Peer Educator

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti's, 10pm-2am, free Outlaw Karaoke The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free

Planned Parenthood of East Central Illinois needs four high school students to serve as Teen Awareness Group interns.

These teens will work with our Education Programs Coordinator to train area high school students in five main areas: Communication & Relationships; Sexuality, Sexual Orientation, Anatomy & Puberty; Abstinence & Contraception, Sexually Transmitted Infections, HIV & AIDS; Pregnancy, Birth & Options and Teen Pregnancy; and Decision Making & Community Resources. The high school students are trained to become Peer Educators and keep track of the number of people (and topics covered) that they talk to. Contact Steve Bevil at 359-4768 for more information.

Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, free Salsa Dancing [salsa/mambo/bachata] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Bookstore, 7-8 pm Kids Prairie Breezes, a Mini Concert Series for Kids [Storyteller Patricia Hruby Powell tells tales for all ages with dance, worldwide percussion instruments, and life-like animal sounds] Urbana Free Library, 6:307:15pm, free Toddler Time with Our Fine Feathered Friends [children 2-4 years old with an adult will enjoy songs, stories and crafts] Urbana Free Library, 10:3011a m

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Art&T heater Work from Katie Jacobson and Nisha Agha Aroma Cafe through Nov. 1 Annual Parkland Art and Design Faculty Exhibition Parkland Art Gallery through Sept. 22, 2005, Parkland Art Gallery Possibilities [works by U of I Alum and local artist Sandra Ahten] Illini Union Art Gallery through Sept.

Backstage Pass [a series of limited edition entertainment photos taken by Paul Idleman in Colorado between 1978 and 2000. Some of the biggest names in the biz are represented: Elton John, Bruce Springsteen, Huey Lewis, Sam Kinison, John Hartford, Jay Leno, etc.]

Cinema Gallery through Sept. 24 Living Language: Painting and Poetry Unite by Marie Mamaril [watercolor and acrylic on canvas] Pages for All Ages through Sept. 14 Andy Warhol: The Complete 1979 Diamond Dust Shadow Series, Editions I-V and The Shadow and Other SelfPotraits, 1977-1981 University Gallery in Normal, Ill., through Oct. 2 Art With Intention Open Studio [Individually directed drop-in studio time allowing adults to explore their creative voices. Instructed by Sandra Ahten] 4pm-9pm Thursdays. Visit www.spiritofsandra.com for details and location.

Call for Fine Art and Crafts Donations [Donations of any size, medium or style are needed for the Hands of Hope Art Auction to benefit the Illinois Chapter of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Contact Rebecca Plummer Rohloff at 328-3059 or rrohloff@uiuc.edu for more information.]

Aroma Cafe is looking for artists to exhibit their work.

Contact Amanda Bickel, art coordinator at Aroma Cafe at art4aroma@yahoo.com.

Fitness Yoga Illini Union Room 304, 7pm, free Comedy Aaron Hurley, TBA Iron Post, 8pm, TBA

Silver Bullet Bar 344-0937

1401 E. Washington, U. www.silverbulletbar.net

BEST BAR IN CHAMPAIGN-URBANA BEST DJ’S AND MUSIC - BEST DRINK SPECIALS

Monday - $2 Domestic Beers Tuesday - $2 Rum & Coke Wednesday - $2.50 Screwdrivers Thursday - $2 Amaretto Stone Sours FREE POOL 8PM-9PM FEMALE DANCERS NIGHTLY OPEN Monday - Thursday 8pm-1am Friday-Saturday 8pm-2am Ladies & Couples Welcome Always Free Admission with our T-Shirt ATM $5.00 Admission/Ladies Free Accepted MUST BE 21

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SATURDAY September 10 Live Music

Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Barb Hamilton Pages For All Ages, 7pm, free Music Among the Vines: The Impalas [blues] Alto Vineyard, 7:30pm, $3 Corkscrew After Dark: Angie Heaton Corkscrew, 8pm, free

NO PLEASURE, NO EXQUISITE SIN GREATER.....THAN CENTRAL AIR.

Acoustic Saturday Night: Rachael Carson, Jake Edwards Jackson Ave. Coffeehouse, 8pm, free Reasonable Doubt [classic rock] The Phoenix, 9pm, free Rumpled Tweed Illinois Brewing Company, 9:30pm, free Back to School Hip Hop Explosion: The Agenda, Dre Bill, The F.E.W., Licwadatid Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 Sanya N'Kanta, Krukid, The Firebird Band, i:scintilla [rock/electronica] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5

Barb Hamilton Pages For All Ages, 7pm, free Music Among the Vines: The Impalas [blues] Alto Vineyard, 7:30pm, $3

DJ DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm, TBA DJ Night Paulie's, 9pm, free DJ Resonate [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10pm, $5

buzz pick

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's, 9pm-1am, free Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages, 11am, free

Minus the Bear These Arms are Snakes Thunderbirds Are Now! City on Film

DJ White Horse Inn, 10pm, free "G" Force DJ The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover DJ Asiatic, Bobby Skills [hip hop, dance hall, R&B, house] Nargile, 8pm, free before 11pm, $5 after DJ Elise [house] Boltini, 10pm, free

Wednesday, Sept. 14 The Courtyard, 7pm, $5 for UIUC students/$7 for general public

Mark your calendars for this one so that you don't forget it by next week. The Courtyard hosts a fantastic line-up of indie rock bands next Wednesday night.

Seattle-based Minus the Bear is the headliner of the night.

Known for their unique guitar work and solid indie rock song writing, they are well worth the price of admission on their own.

They are touring in support of their latest album Menos el Oso, which was released this past August.

Jade Tree artists These Arms are Snakes also join the bill.

This three-piece also hails from the Pacific Northwest. They are known for their snarly vocals, math-rock guitars and their spacey interludes. Thunderbirds Are Now! deliver keyboard laden, postpunk influenced, catchy, danceable rock.

City on Film is the solo project of Bob Nanna of Braid fame.

Those attending this show will be lucky enough to see him backed by a full band including C-U resident Rachael Dietkus (ex-Very Secretary) on violin.

– Cassie Conner

Film Risky Business Virginia Theatre, 1pm & 7pm, $5 Lecture, Meetings, Discussions Gemstone Roundtable [Sherris Cottier Shank, award-winning gemstone carver, presents her work] Christopher’s Fine Jewelry Design, RSVP 352-2415 free, Losing Weight: Diet or Lifestyle Change? [Sandra Ahten, a diet coach in the Champaign-Urbana area will discuss the core components of successful dieting andshow how they can be used to lose weight and keep it off] Urbana Free Library, noon, free Bargin Bag Sale [fill a bag with used books for only $1] Champaign Public Library, 9am-5pm, $1

SUNDAY September 11 Live Music The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Liquid Courage Open Mic Night Geovanti's, 8pm-12am, free Blues Jam Iron Post, 7pm-10pm, TBA The Knitters, Angie Heaton and the Gentle Tamers The Highdive, 9pm, $18 in advance, $20 at the door DJ DJ Wesjile [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Black Ice [hip hop] Nargile, 8pm, TBA Jon Meske [house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free Mike Rocks [live concert videos and local music] Tommy G's, 9:30pm, cover

Lectures, Meetings, Discussions Daylle Deanna Schwartz [The Courtyard and Euterpe present a lecture by Daylle Deanna Schwartz, author of "I Don't Need a Record Deal!

Your Survival Guide to the Indie Music Revolution"] The Courtyard, 8pm, free

MONDAY September 12

Live Music Love & Joy [comedy and live R&B] Canopy Club, 10pm, $3 Motown Mondays: As Is Nargile, 7pm, $5 Chris and Jim [cover band] White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Finga Lickin' The Office, 10:30pm, free Quad Remedy [classic rock] Tommy G’s, 10pm, free Jazz Jam with ParaDocs Iron Post, 9pm, TBA Open Mic Night hosted by Mike Ingram Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Shovelwrack The Clybourne, 10:45pm, free DJ DJ Delayney [hip hop/soul] Barfly, 10pm, free Mixtape Mondays: DJ Elise, TBA [house] Boltini, 10pm, free Nekromancy - The Resurrection: DJ Randall Ellison [industrial goth] Chester St., 11pm, $2 Lectures, Meetings, Discussions A Shot at the American Dream [Jason DeParle, senior writer at the New York Times, discusses the consequences for poor Americans of the 1990s] Levis Faculty Center, 4pm, free Kids The Middle Pages Book Club [enjoy snacks and discuss Joan Bauer’s “Rules of the Road”] Champaign Public Library, 7pm, free

TUESDAY September 13 Live Music Bluegrass Jam Verde Gallery, 7-9:30pm, free Open Jam/Open Mic hosted

by Mike Armintrout Canopy Club, 9pm, 21+/free, $2/under 21 The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Adam Wolfe's Acoustic Night with Jess Greenlee Tommy G's, 10pm, free

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Open Stage Espresso Royale Goodwin & Oregon, 8pm, free Larry Gates [of Lorenzo Goetz] White Horse, 9:30pm, free Open Jam/Open Mic hosted

by Mike Ingram Canopy Club, 10pm, 21+/free, $2/under 21

MOMENT OF THE WEEK

DJ DJ Reaganomics [80’s requests] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Tremblin BG [house] Barfly, 10pm, free Bang!: DJ Impact, TBA [Chicago house] Nargile, 9pm, free CFK [house] Chester St., 10pm, TBA Subversion: DJ TwinScin, The Machine in the Garden, DJ Evily, DJ ZoZo The Highdive, 10pm, $3

Grammy-winning MC and producer Kanye West delivered a scathing diatribe on national TV last Friday. The Chicago rapper was one of many guests on a one-hour celebrity special on NBC to raise money for victims of Hurricane Katrina.

West wasn’t performing that night; rather, he signed on as a talking head and was curiously paired with actor Mike Myers. When his turn came along, ‘Ye didn’t read from the teleprompter but instead spoke candidly while millions of primetime viewers looked on (the video portion is available online for those interested).

“I hate the way they portray us in the media,” Kanye said. “You see a black family, it says, ‘They’re looting.’You see a white family, it says, ‘They’re looking for food.’” West eventually turned it back to a dumbfounded Myers, who continued with his portion of the script; the clearly nervous MC then regained control and angrily declared “George Bush doesn’t care about black people!”

Somebody must have been awake in the control room, because at that second, the broadcast cuts to the next speaker, an unprepared Chris Tucker.

In related news, Kanye’s newest full-length, Late Registration, released last week, is also “off the cuff.”

Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Neil St. Pub, 8pm-12am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's , 9pm-1am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke and DJ Track's, 9pm-1am Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign, 8pm, $7-$9

Thursday, Sept 8

Missing The Point Blame Twilight, Best Days Behind, 15 Minutes Late

Saturday, Sept 10

Back to School Hip Hop Explosion! ftr. The Agenda, Dre Bill, The F.E.W., Licwadatid

Wednesday, Sept 14

Thursday, Sept 15

Tuesday, Sept 20

Wednesday, Sept 21

L O N G

c h a r t s PARASOL RECORDS TOP 10 SELLERS

WEDNESDAY September 14

1. Death Cab For Cutie Plans (Atlantic/Barsuk) 2. Various Sweet Sixteen, Vol. 8 (Parasol) 3. The Green Pajamas 21st Century Seance (Hidden Agenda) 4. Mad Science Fair For A Better Tomorrow (MUD) 5. Holm South of the River (Mano De Dios) 6. Junip Black Refuge (Teme Shet) 7. New Pornographers Twin Cinema (Matador) 8. Acid House Kings Sing Along With Acid House Kings (Twenty Seven) 9. Sufjan Stevens Illinois (Asthmatic Kitty) 10. Orchids Unholy Soul + Singles (LTM)

Live Music Chambana Jackson’s Ribs-n-Tips, 8pm-10pm Ed O'Hare and Friends Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Blues Night: Kilborn Alley Tommy G's, 10pm, free Minus the Bear, These Arms are Snakes, Thunderbirds are Now!, City on Film The Courtyard, 7pm, $5 UIUC students, $7 general public Urbana Booking Co. presents: Dressy Bessy, Lorenzo Goetz, The Weakdaze Canopy Club, 9pm, $7 Apollo Poetics: Apollo Project [featuring guest MC's and vocalists] Nargile, 9:30pm, free

t h e

w w w. c a n o pyc l u b . c o m

The P rofits w. Matt Wertz

Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free

f r o m

708 S. Goodwin 18+ Urbana, IL 344-BAND 344-BAND

Saturday, Sept 17

Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free Babies’ Lap Time [songs, stories and rhymes for the youngest patrons, birth-24 mo., with an adult] Urbana Free Library, 10:30am-11am, free

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w H at tH e He L L?

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B E A C H

ftr. members of Sublime - 10 pm!

T h u r sd a y , SSe p t 22 2

Friday, Sept 23

UPCOMING SHOWS: Pygmalion Festival: Sept 28 - Oct 1 Thurs Sept 29: U m p h r e y ’ s M c G e e Fri & Sat Oct 7 & 8: Lucky Boys Confusion Sunday Oct 9: Les Claypool Mon Oct 10: T e g a n & S a r a Sat Oct 15: G h o s t f a c e ( o f W u - T a n g ) Tickets for advance shows on sale now at: Exile on Main Street, The Canopy Club, Family Pride, Bacca Cigar, or call 1-800-514-ETIX. Or print your tickets at home on JayTV.com!

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO LIST A POSTING E-MAIL CALENDAR@READBUZZ.COM BY SUNDAY NIGHT. I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

buzz weekly •

...INSTEAD SHE GOT LYPO WITH YOUR MONEY

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I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

He who wishes to secure the g o o d o f o t h e r s , has already secured h i s o w n .

Film Risky Business Virginia Theatre, 7pm, $5

Confucius • Philospher and political theorist

DJ Generic DJ Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8pm, TBA DJ Elise [house] Boltini, 10pm, free Solace: DJ J-Phlip, DJ Mertz [deep house] Soma, 10pm, free DJ Asiatic [hip hop] Nargile, 10pm Ladies Night [hip hop, dance hall, reggae, reggaeton] Nargile, 9pm, TBA DJ Stiffler [80's hair metal] Tommy G's, 9pm, free DJ Bozak [hip hop, broken beat, house, electro] Barfly, 10pm, free Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Pia's of Rantoul, 9pm-1am, free Dancing UIUC Swing Society McKinley Foundation 9:30pm-12am, free

Health and Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center, Champaign, 8pm, $7-$9 Belly Dance for Fitness Gold’s Gym, Champaign, 7:30pm, $7-$9 Group Meditation Ananda Liina, 2308 N. High Cross Rd., Urbana, 5:30pm, free Wine Tasting Krannert Uncorked Krannert Art Center Lobby 5pm, free Lectures, Meetings, Discussions Cosmopolitan Club Coffee Hour [Sample coffee, tea and homemade ethnic desserts from Spain. All are welcome] Cosmopolitan Club, 307 E. John St., 7:30pm-9:30pm, free Gemstone Roundtable [Sherris Cottier Shank, award-winning gemstone carver, presents her work] Christopher’s Fine Jewelry Design, free, RSVP 352-2415 or info@christophers-finejewelry.com

The Global Food Court: Fast Food, Slow Food, Imperial Food [lecture by John Feffer] Levis Faculty Center, 4pm, free

Jenny Keefe Iron Post, 10pm, $3 Anglo-Afro Beat Project [funk/jam/rock] Cowboy Monkey, 10:30pm, $4

Kids Funfare [stories, songs, puppets, and films for children and their caregivers] Urbana Free Library, 10:30am11am, free

DJ DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm-2am, TBA DJ Bonsu, DJ Impact [hip hop, Chicago deep house] Nargile, 9pm, free before 11pm, $5 after

Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free

DJ Delayney [hip hop, soul] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover DJ Elise [deep house, broken beat] Boltini, 6pm-10pm, free DJ Lil Big Bass [drum ‘n’ bass, 2 step] Boltini, 10pm, free DJ Dance Party Canopy Club, 10pm, TBA

Lectures, Meetings, Discussions Gemstone Roundtable [Sherris Cottier Shank, award-winning gemstone carver, presents her work] Christopher’s Fine Jewelry Design, free, RSVP 352-2415 or info@christophers-finejewelry.com Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am, TBA Karaoke American Legion, 8pm-1am, TBA

FRIDAY September 9 Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Eclectic Theory The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Ear Doctor [jazz] Mike 'n Molly's, 5pm, $3 Fotamana Iron Post, 5-7pm, TBA BMW Organ Trio [jazz] Cowboy Monkey, 5:30pm, free Pocket Big Band The Highdive, 5:30-7:30pm, $3 Elsinore, Theory of Everything,

buzz pick

Dressy Bessy

pg.24

Eclectic Theory Joe’s Brewery 10pm-1am

Puzzle

THURSDAY September 8 Live Music Shovelwrack [rock] White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, free U of I Jazz Band II Iron Post, 7-10pm, TBA Acoustic at Aroma: Grass Roots Revival [bluegrass] Aroma, 8pm, free Nedelle, Shipwreck, The Chemicals, Megan Johns The Courtyard, 8pm, $3 UIUC students, $5 general public Andrew Dixon Quartet [jazz] Zorba's, 9:30pm, $3 Missing the Point, Blame Twilight, Best Days Behind, 15 Minutes Late Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 The Cheezy Trio [live band karaoke] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 The Brakes, The Dancing Nancies Mike 'n Molly's beergarden, 10pm, $4 Greg and the Clap [covers] Joe’s Brewery 6pm-9pm, cover

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Circuit Pulse: DJ Randall Ellison [Hi-NrG, Eurodance, hard house] Chester St., 10pm, $3 DJ Tim Williams [top 40, hip hop, house, dance] The Highdive, 10pm, $5

+

Wednesday, Sept. 14th, 9PM Canopy Club Dressy Bessy returns to ChampaignUrbana for the second time in the last few months to perform at the Canopy Club on Wednesday, Sept. 14th courtesy of the Urbana Booking Company.

The Denver, CO band, fronted by Tammy Ealom, will play their unique brand of indie pop. After their first couple of records, Apples in Stereo guitarist John Hill joined the fray to complete their current line-up. Dressy Bessy is touring in support of their latest effort, Electrified, out on Transdreamer Records.

Local favorite Lorenzo Goetz play second after The Weakdaze. The show starts at 9pm and is $7.

The Canopy Club is located on campus in Urbana.

– Todd Swiss

LOOKING BETWEEN THE LINES...

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Comics.

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...and just about everything else...

The Daily Illini is committed to providing our readers with the most current and accurate news and information - on campus, locally and around the world. We encourage you to openly communicate with us about your world.

Don’t just read the news, be a part of it!

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I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

He who wishes to secure the g o o d o f o t h e r s , has already secured h i s o w n .

Film Risky Business Virginia Theatre, 7pm, $5

Confucius • Philospher and political theorist

DJ Generic DJ Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8pm, TBA DJ Elise [house] Boltini, 10pm, free Solace: DJ J-Phlip, DJ Mertz [deep house] Soma, 10pm, free DJ Asiatic [hip hop] Nargile, 10pm Ladies Night [hip hop, dance hall, reggae, reggaeton] Nargile, 9pm, TBA DJ Stiffler [80's hair metal] Tommy G's, 9pm, free DJ Bozak [hip hop, broken beat, house, electro] Barfly, 10pm, free Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Pia's of Rantoul, 9pm-1am, free Dancing UIUC Swing Society McKinley Foundation 9:30pm-12am, free

Health and Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center, Champaign, 8pm, $7-$9 Belly Dance for Fitness Gold’s Gym, Champaign, 7:30pm, $7-$9 Group Meditation Ananda Liina, 2308 N. High Cross Rd., Urbana, 5:30pm, free Wine Tasting Krannert Uncorked Krannert Art Center Lobby 5pm, free Lectures, Meetings, Discussions Cosmopolitan Club Coffee Hour [Sample coffee, tea and homemade ethnic desserts from Spain. All are welcome] Cosmopolitan Club, 307 E. John St., 7:30pm-9:30pm, free Gemstone Roundtable [Sherris Cottier Shank, award-winning gemstone carver, presents her work] Christopher’s Fine Jewelry Design, free, RSVP 352-2415 or info@christophers-finejewelry.com

The Global Food Court: Fast Food, Slow Food, Imperial Food [lecture by John Feffer] Levis Faculty Center, 4pm, free

Jenny Keefe Iron Post, 10pm, $3 Anglo-Afro Beat Project [funk/jam/rock] Cowboy Monkey, 10:30pm, $4

Kids Funfare [stories, songs, puppets, and films for children and their caregivers] Urbana Free Library, 10:30am11am, free

DJ DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm-2am, TBA DJ Bonsu, DJ Impact [hip hop, Chicago deep house] Nargile, 9pm, free before 11pm, $5 after

Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free

DJ Delayney [hip hop, soul] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover DJ Elise [deep house, broken beat] Boltini, 6pm-10pm, free DJ Lil Big Bass [drum ‘n’ bass, 2 step] Boltini, 10pm, free DJ Dance Party Canopy Club, 10pm, TBA

Lectures, Meetings, Discussions Gemstone Roundtable [Sherris Cottier Shank, award-winning gemstone carver, presents her work] Christopher’s Fine Jewelry Design, free, RSVP 352-2415 or info@christophers-finejewelry.com Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am, TBA Karaoke American Legion, 8pm-1am, TBA

FRIDAY September 9 Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Eclectic Theory The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Ear Doctor [jazz] Mike 'n Molly's, 5pm, $3 Fotamana Iron Post, 5-7pm, TBA BMW Organ Trio [jazz] Cowboy Monkey, 5:30pm, free Pocket Big Band The Highdive, 5:30-7:30pm, $3 Elsinore, Theory of Everything,

buzz pick

Dressy Bessy

pg.24

Eclectic Theory Joe’s Brewery 10pm-1am

Puzzle

THURSDAY September 8 Live Music Shovelwrack [rock] White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, free U of I Jazz Band II Iron Post, 7-10pm, TBA Acoustic at Aroma: Grass Roots Revival [bluegrass] Aroma, 8pm, free Nedelle, Shipwreck, The Chemicals, Megan Johns The Courtyard, 8pm, $3 UIUC students, $5 general public Andrew Dixon Quartet [jazz] Zorba's, 9:30pm, $3 Missing the Point, Blame Twilight, Best Days Behind, 15 Minutes Late Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 The Cheezy Trio [live band karaoke] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 The Brakes, The Dancing Nancies Mike 'n Molly's beergarden, 10pm, $4 Greg and the Clap [covers] Joe’s Brewery 6pm-9pm, cover

15

14

Circuit Pulse: DJ Randall Ellison [Hi-NrG, Eurodance, hard house] Chester St., 10pm, $3 DJ Tim Williams [top 40, hip hop, house, dance] The Highdive, 10pm, $5

+

Wednesday, Sept. 14th, 9PM Canopy Club Dressy Bessy returns to ChampaignUrbana for the second time in the last few months to perform at the Canopy Club on Wednesday, Sept. 14th courtesy of the Urbana Booking Company.

The Denver, CO band, fronted by Tammy Ealom, will play their unique brand of indie pop. After their first couple of records, Apples in Stereo guitarist John Hill joined the fray to complete their current line-up. Dressy Bessy is touring in support of their latest effort, Electrified, out on Transdreamer Records.

Local favorite Lorenzo Goetz play second after The Weakdaze. The show starts at 9pm and is $7.

The Canopy Club is located on campus in Urbana.

– Todd Swiss

LOOKING BETWEEN THE LINES...

News.

Sports.

Classifieds.

Comics.

Opinions.

...and just about everything else...

The Daily Illini is committed to providing our readers with the most current and accurate news and information - on campus, locally and around the world. We encourage you to openly communicate with us about your world.

Don’t just read the news, be a part of it!

www.dailyillini.com I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

•

s o u n d s

f r o m

t h e

s c e n e •

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

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SATURDAY September 10 Live Music

Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Will Rogers Band [country/southern rock covers/originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Barb Hamilton Pages For All Ages, 7pm, free Music Among the Vines: The Impalas [blues] Alto Vineyard, 7:30pm, $3 Corkscrew After Dark: Angie Heaton Corkscrew, 8pm, free

NO PLEASURE, NO EXQUISITE SIN GREATER.....THAN CENTRAL AIR.

Acoustic Saturday Night: Rachael Carson, Jake Edwards Jackson Ave. Coffeehouse, 8pm, free Reasonable Doubt [classic rock] The Phoenix, 9pm, free Rumpled Tweed Illinois Brewing Company, 9:30pm, free Back to School Hip Hop Explosion: The Agenda, Dre Bill, The F.E.W., Licwadatid Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 Sanya N'Kanta, Krukid, The Firebird Band, i:scintilla [rock/electronica] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5

Barb Hamilton Pages For All Ages, 7pm, free Music Among the Vines: The Impalas [blues] Alto Vineyard, 7:30pm, $3

DJ DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm, TBA DJ Night Paulie's, 9pm, free DJ Resonate [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10pm, $5

buzz pick

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's, 9pm-1am, free Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages, 11am, free

Minus the Bear These Arms are Snakes Thunderbirds Are Now! City on Film

DJ White Horse Inn, 10pm, free "G" Force DJ The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover DJ Asiatic, Bobby Skills [hip hop, dance hall, R&B, house] Nargile, 8pm, free before 11pm, $5 after DJ Elise [house] Boltini, 10pm, free

Wednesday, Sept. 14 The Courtyard, 7pm, $5 for UIUC students/$7 for general public

Mark your calendars for this one so that you don't forget it by next week. The Courtyard hosts a fantastic line-up of indie rock bands next Wednesday night.

Seattle-based Minus the Bear is the headliner of the night.

Known for their unique guitar work and solid indie rock song writing, they are well worth the price of admission on their own.

They are touring in support of their latest album Menos el Oso, which was released this past August.

Jade Tree artists These Arms are Snakes also join the bill.

This three-piece also hails from the Pacific Northwest. They are known for their snarly vocals, math-rock guitars and their spacey interludes. Thunderbirds Are Now! deliver keyboard laden, postpunk influenced, catchy, danceable rock.

City on Film is the solo project of Bob Nanna of Braid fame.

Those attending this show will be lucky enough to see him backed by a full band including C-U resident Rachael Dietkus (ex-Very Secretary) on violin.

– Cassie Conner

Film Risky Business Virginia Theatre, 1pm & 7pm, $5 Lecture, Meetings, Discussions Gemstone Roundtable [Sherris Cottier Shank, award-winning gemstone carver, presents her work] Christopher’s Fine Jewelry Design, RSVP 352-2415 free, Losing Weight: Diet or Lifestyle Change? [Sandra Ahten, a diet coach in the Champaign-Urbana area will discuss the core components of successful dieting andshow how they can be used to lose weight and keep it off] Urbana Free Library, noon, free Bargin Bag Sale [fill a bag with used books for only $1] Champaign Public Library, 9am-5pm, $1

SUNDAY September 11 Live Music The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Liquid Courage Open Mic Night Geovanti's, 8pm-12am, free Blues Jam Iron Post, 7pm-10pm, TBA The Knitters, Angie Heaton and the Gentle Tamers The Highdive, 9pm, $18 in advance, $20 at the door DJ DJ Wesjile [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Black Ice [hip hop] Nargile, 8pm, TBA Jon Meske [house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free Mike Rocks [live concert videos and local music] Tommy G's, 9:30pm, cover

Lectures, Meetings, Discussions Daylle Deanna Schwartz [The Courtyard and Euterpe present a lecture by Daylle Deanna Schwartz, author of "I Don't Need a Record Deal!

Your Survival Guide to the Indie Music Revolution"] The Courtyard, 8pm, free

MONDAY September 12

Live Music Love & Joy [comedy and live R&B] Canopy Club, 10pm, $3 Motown Mondays: As Is Nargile, 7pm, $5 Chris and Jim [cover band] White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Finga Lickin' The Office, 10:30pm, free Quad Remedy [classic rock] Tommy G’s, 10pm, free Jazz Jam with ParaDocs Iron Post, 9pm, TBA Open Mic Night hosted by Mike Ingram Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Shovelwrack The Clybourne, 10:45pm, free DJ DJ Delayney [hip hop/soul] Barfly, 10pm, free Mixtape Mondays: DJ Elise, TBA [house] Boltini, 10pm, free Nekromancy - The Resurrection: DJ Randall Ellison [industrial goth] Chester St., 11pm, $2 Lectures, Meetings, Discussions A Shot at the American Dream [Jason DeParle, senior writer at the New York Times, discusses the consequences for poor Americans of the 1990s] Levis Faculty Center, 4pm, free Kids The Middle Pages Book Club [enjoy snacks and discuss Joan Bauer’s “Rules of the Road”] Champaign Public Library, 7pm, free

TUESDAY September 13 Live Music Bluegrass Jam Verde Gallery, 7-9:30pm, free Open Jam/Open Mic hosted

by Mike Armintrout Canopy Club, 9pm, 21+/free, $2/under 21 The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Adam Wolfe's Acoustic Night with Jess Greenlee Tommy G's, 10pm, free

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Open Stage Espresso Royale Goodwin & Oregon, 8pm, free Larry Gates [of Lorenzo Goetz] White Horse, 9:30pm, free Open Jam/Open Mic hosted

by Mike Ingram Canopy Club, 10pm, 21+/free, $2/under 21

MOMENT OF THE WEEK

DJ DJ Reaganomics [80’s requests] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Tremblin BG [house] Barfly, 10pm, free Bang!: DJ Impact, TBA [Chicago house] Nargile, 9pm, free CFK [house] Chester St., 10pm, TBA Subversion: DJ TwinScin, The Machine in the Garden, DJ Evily, DJ ZoZo The Highdive, 10pm, $3

Grammy-winning MC and producer Kanye West delivered a scathing diatribe on national TV last Friday. The Chicago rapper was one of many guests on a one-hour celebrity special on NBC to raise money for victims of Hurricane Katrina.

West wasn’t performing that night; rather, he signed on as a talking head and was curiously paired with actor Mike Myers. When his turn came along, ‘Ye didn’t read from the teleprompter but instead spoke candidly while millions of primetime viewers looked on (the video portion is available online for those interested).

“I hate the way they portray us in the media,” Kanye said. “You see a black family, it says, ‘They’re looting.’You see a white family, it says, ‘They’re looking for food.’” West eventually turned it back to a dumbfounded Myers, who continued with his portion of the script; the clearly nervous MC then regained control and angrily declared “George Bush doesn’t care about black people!”

Somebody must have been awake in the control room, because at that second, the broadcast cuts to the next speaker, an unprepared Chris Tucker.

In related news, Kanye’s newest full-length, Late Registration, released last week, is also “off the cuff.”

Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Neil St. Pub, 8pm-12am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's , 9pm-1am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke and DJ Track's, 9pm-1am Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign, 8pm, $7-$9

Thursday, Sept 8

Missing The Point Blame Twilight, Best Days Behind, 15 Minutes Late

Saturday, Sept 10

Back to School Hip Hop Explosion! ftr. The Agenda, Dre Bill, The F.E.W., Licwadatid

Wednesday, Sept 14

Thursday, Sept 15

Tuesday, Sept 20

Wednesday, Sept 21

L O N G

c h a r t s PARASOL RECORDS TOP 10 SELLERS

WEDNESDAY September 14

1. Death Cab For Cutie Plans (Atlantic/Barsuk) 2. Various Sweet Sixteen, Vol. 8 (Parasol) 3. The Green Pajamas 21st Century Seance (Hidden Agenda) 4. Mad Science Fair For A Better Tomorrow (MUD) 5. Holm South of the River (Mano De Dios) 6. Junip Black Refuge (Teme Shet) 7. New Pornographers Twin Cinema (Matador) 8. Acid House Kings Sing Along With Acid House Kings (Twenty Seven) 9. Sufjan Stevens Illinois (Asthmatic Kitty) 10. Orchids Unholy Soul + Singles (LTM)

Live Music Chambana Jackson’s Ribs-n-Tips, 8pm-10pm Ed O'Hare and Friends Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Blues Night: Kilborn Alley Tommy G's, 10pm, free Minus the Bear, These Arms are Snakes, Thunderbirds are Now!, City on Film The Courtyard, 7pm, $5 UIUC students, $7 general public Urbana Booking Co. presents: Dressy Bessy, Lorenzo Goetz, The Weakdaze Canopy Club, 9pm, $7 Apollo Poetics: Apollo Project [featuring guest MC's and vocalists] Nargile, 9:30pm, free

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The P rofits w. Matt Wertz

Support Groups Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free

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Saturday, Sept 17

Kids Storytime Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free Babies’ Lap Time [songs, stories and rhymes for the youngest patrons, birth-24 mo., with an adult] Urbana Free Library, 10:30am-11am, free

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Friday, Sept 23

UPCOMING SHOWS: Pygmalion Festival: Sept 28 - Oct 1 Thurs Sept 29: U m p h r e y ’ s M c G e e Fri & Sat Oct 7 & 8: Lucky Boys Confusion Sunday Oct 9: Les Claypool Mon Oct 10: T e g a n & S a r a Sat Oct 15: G h o s t f a c e ( o f W u - T a n g ) Tickets for advance shows on sale now at: Exile on Main Street, The Canopy Club, Family Pride, Bacca Cigar, or call 1-800-514-ETIX. Or print your tickets at home on JayTV.com!

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO LIST A POSTING E-MAIL CALENDAR@READBUZZ.COM BY SUNDAY NIGHT. I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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...INSTEAD SHE GOT LYPO WITH YOUR MONEY

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SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BUY TYCHO WITH YOUR MONEY...

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DJ Chef Ra [roots, reggae] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ JB [roots, reggae] Barfly, 10pm, free Contact: DJ Raphael Kroshay, TBA [drum ‘n’ bass night] Nargile, 9pm, free Mix It, Reverse It: DJ Randall Ellison [club house, latin, dancehall] Chester St., 9:30pm, free DJ Missus Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, TBA

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Kanye West Late Registration Roc-A-Fella

BY IMRAN SIDDIQUEE

If you are like me, you couldn’t wait to hear the new Kanye West album, and you downloaded a leaked version two months ago.You felt guilty, but one listen to a rough cut of “Hey Mama” and you forgot all that. You spent hours holed up in your room singing, dancing and getting choked up over Mr. West’s simple sincerity. With a line like “mommy I’m gonna love you till you don’t hurt no more / and when I’m older you ain’t got to work no more,” this song captured a universal feeling of love while inhabiting a gorgeous musical space; it was perfect, or so I thought.

Then Kanye hired Jon Brion, added even more background vocals, soaring synthesizers, a little twinkle bell and an outro consisting solely of West repeating “mama, mama, mama.” These are the marks of genius. Kanye West, more than anything, is a man with undeniable drive. He would never settle for just a great song; with Late Registration he repeatedly reaches for the level of legendary.

With the sequel to last years phenomenal College Dropout, Kanye is no longer trying to revolutionize rap music, he’s here to create a whole new genre.

Though he doesn’t quite blaze an entirely new path, he lights the way; showing us what might be some day.

Songs like “Hear ‘Em Say”, which features the vocals of Maroon 5’s Adam Levine, transcend the hip-hop community while still holding onto the soul.

That’s something Kanye has always been aware of, re-injecting soul into what was an increasingly lifeless genre. “Gold Digger” and “Addiction” reveal Ray Charles and Etta James to a whole new generation, without relying too heavily on the sped-up vocal samples that West popularized.

What Brion brings to this work is the flourishes with which almost every song ends; things don’t just fade out, they work themselves out. The Fiona Apple producer combines with Kanye to delve deep into the melodies to get everything they can out of each note. Sometimes they overdo it, “We Major” runs past 7 minutes, but their immense effort is what is most visible and in the end what makes this a better album than College Dropout.

Lyrically, Kanye is far from being the king of Roc-A-Fella, but most are too quick to claim that superior rappers could do these songs better. The fact remains that Kanye appeals to the masses precisely because of his faults, like when on “Addiction” he admits; “everything that supposed to be bad makes me feel so good.”

In his unsureness, his trepidation to say anything too revolutionary or too nasty, lies his greatest and most frustrating asset. There is a passion in this guy that comes to the surface only occasionally, he never lets himself completely go, and will often regress to tired clichés of hip-hop.Yet he is wholly aware of this hypocrisy. Recently on MTV he came out strongly against all the gaybashing (himself included) in rap music and then during a live concert on NBC he labeled the government’s relief efforts in New Orleans as “racist” towards African-Americans.

Kanye covers up his insecurities with a fake-bravado and charm which continue to sell him records and earn millions of fans, but slowly, ever-soslowly, he is revolutionizing the way America perceives the AfricanAmerican superstar, inserting a self-consciousness that creates more human, conscious and expressive works of art.

buzz weekly •

WE COULD GO BACK HOME...HAVE SOME DINNER AND POP IN THE SISQO CD...NO?

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GET ACTIVE

Work as a Planned Parenthood Peer Educator

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti's, 10pm-2am, free Outlaw Karaoke The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free

Planned Parenthood of East Central Illinois needs four high school students to serve as Teen Awareness Group interns.

These teens will work with our Education Programs Coordinator to train area high school students in five main areas: Communication & Relationships; Sexuality, Sexual Orientation, Anatomy & Puberty; Abstinence & Contraception, Sexually Transmitted Infections, HIV & AIDS; Pregnancy, Birth & Options and Teen Pregnancy; and Decision Making & Community Resources. The high school students are trained to become Peer Educators and keep track of the number of people (and topics covered) that they talk to. Contact Steve Bevil at 359-4768 for more information.

Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, free Salsa Dancing [salsa/mambo/bachata] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Bookstore, 7-8 pm Kids Prairie Breezes, a Mini Concert Series for Kids [Storyteller Patricia Hruby Powell tells tales for all ages with dance, worldwide percussion instruments, and life-like animal sounds] Urbana Free Library, 6:307:15pm, free Toddler Time with Our Fine Feathered Friends [children 2-4 years old with an adult will enjoy songs, stories and crafts] Urbana Free Library, 10:3011a m

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Art&T heater Work from Katie Jacobson and Nisha Agha Aroma Cafe through Nov. 1 Annual Parkland Art and Design Faculty Exhibition Parkland Art Gallery through Sept. 22, 2005, Parkland Art Gallery Possibilities [works by U of I Alum and local artist Sandra Ahten] Illini Union Art Gallery through Sept.

Backstage Pass [a series of limited edition entertainment photos taken by Paul Idleman in Colorado between 1978 and 2000. Some of the biggest names in the biz are represented: Elton John, Bruce Springsteen, Huey Lewis, Sam Kinison, John Hartford, Jay Leno, etc.]

Cinema Gallery through Sept. 24 Living Language: Painting and Poetry Unite by Marie Mamaril [watercolor and acrylic on canvas] Pages for All Ages through Sept. 14 Andy Warhol: The Complete 1979 Diamond Dust Shadow Series, Editions I-V and The Shadow and Other SelfPotraits, 1977-1981 University Gallery in Normal, Ill., through Oct. 2 Art With Intention Open Studio [Individually directed drop-in studio time allowing adults to explore their creative voices. Instructed by Sandra Ahten] 4pm-9pm Thursdays. Visit www.spiritofsandra.com for details and location.

Call for Fine Art and Crafts Donations [Donations of any size, medium or style are needed for the Hands of Hope Art Auction to benefit the Illinois Chapter of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Contact Rebecca Plummer Rohloff at 328-3059 or rrohloff@uiuc.edu for more information.]

Aroma Cafe is looking for artists to exhibit their work.

Contact Amanda Bickel, art coordinator at Aroma Cafe at art4aroma@yahoo.com.

Fitness Yoga Illini Union Room 304, 7pm, free Comedy Aaron Hurley, TBA Iron Post, 8pm, TBA

Silver Bullet Bar 344-0937

1401 E. Washington, U. www.silverbulletbar.net

BEST BAR IN CHAMPAIGN-URBANA BEST DJ’S AND MUSIC - BEST DRINK SPECIALS

Monday - $2 Domestic Beers Tuesday - $2 Rum & Coke Wednesday - $2.50 Screwdrivers Thursday - $2 Amaretto Stone Sours FREE POOL 8PM-9PM FEMALE DANCERS NIGHTLY OPEN Monday - Thursday 8pm-1am Friday-Saturday 8pm-2am Ladies & Couples Welcome Always Free Admission with our T-Shirt ATM $5.00 Admission/Ladies Free Accepted MUST BE 21

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SE P. 8

Life is something that everyone should try at least once.

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sound ground #92 TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

Henry J. Tillman

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s a new semester begins at Champaign-Urbana, students are settling down and getting used to the hectic schedule of classes. But after a couple weeks, boredom strikes.Those who are tired of the party scene, but don't want to stay in the dorms should consider checking out Parkland Theatre. Northwest of U of I, the theatre is located on the Parkland College campus. Parkland presents an array of cultural events and offers a nice change in scenery for those itching to go somewhere different.

This September kicks off the fall theatre season.According to the Parkland Theatre website, which lists all upcoming shows, the first play is The Exonerated. A drama, it "tells the true and moving stories of six wrongfully convicted survivors of death row in their own words." Beginning with a preview performance on Sept. 28 at 8 p.m., one can see The Exonerated on Sept.

30 and October 1 and 6 through 8 at 8 p.m., as well as Oct. 9 at 3 p.m. For those wanting to save some cash, all tickets are half-price from the usual $8 student admission on Oct. 6.

Parkland also has a discussion with the actors and the director after the Sept. 30 show for audience members wanting to immerse themselves in the theatre experience.

The second show is Bat Boy:The Musical, a pop/rock musical on "the amazing story of a half-boy/half-bat creature and his struggle to find love and acceptance". The website description goes on to say the musical is a cross between My Fair Lady and Edward Scissorhands.

Parkland Theatre Promotions woman Leah White hopes to “reach different people” with Bat Boy. “There are a lot of people who will get a kick out of it,” said White.

For anyone who is interested in flexing their acting muscles, Parkland is holding open auditions for the musical on Sept. 10

and 11. U of I students and community members are encouraged to try out. There will be a cast of 10-14, and all members will be 18 or older. Call 217-351-2476 for more information.

“It’s a great theatre for a lot of people to act in,” said White.

A preview performance of Bat Boy:The Musical will occur on Oct. 26.The other shows are Oct. 28 and 29 as well as Nov. 4, 5, 10, 11 and 12 at 8 p.m.There is also a matinee on Nov. 6 at 3 p.m.

Tickets are half-price on Nov. 10.A talk back with the actors and director will be after the Oct. 28 show.

The final production for the semester is completely run by Parkland students. Students decide which play to perform, handle all aspects of production, and act. Their decision will be announced in October.The performances will be in Dec. on the 7, 8, 9, 10 at 8 p.m. and Dec. 10, 11 at 3 p.m.

“It’s a great season,” said White.“It’s a very socially- based season.” The plays are “really great and really diverse”.

For the spring semester, Parkland Theatre will be performing That Takes Ovaries, a play about bold women, Agatha Christie’s The Mousetrap, and the Pulitzer Prize-winning Angels in America Part One: Millennium Approaches.

General admission is $10, students (over 12), seniors and Parkland faculty and staff members pay $8, and tickets for kids 12 and under are $6. All Wednesday night previews are $4.99, with the exception of the student production.The same rules apply for all half-price Thursday night tickets.

For groups over 15, there are special discounts, along with the ability to pick seats; otherwise there is just general seating. For more information call 217-351-2528 or email theatre@parkland.edu. For group discounts call 217-373-3874. The website is www.parkland.edu/theatre Parkland College is also home of the Staerkal Planetarium and the Parkland Art Gallery. The planetarium has live sky shows called Prairie Skies and Just Imagine on Friday and Saturday evenings. At 9:30 p.m. on these days is the Rock and

Hairstyles of the Damned DAN SCHULD

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STAFF WRITER

literature

Have you ever fallen in love with a girl with a

blue mo-hawk and spent days locked in your room trying to construct the perfect mix-tape for her, debating over how many Dead Milkmen tracks to include, what order to put them in, and whether or not to include the song “Punk Rock Girl,” only to scratch the whole ordeal deciding that it was altogether too cheesy and obvious?

No? Well then you can stop reading this right now because you’re a poseur anyway. As for the rest of you who didn’t even have to think before answering this question honestly, this is your book. Everyone else can “suck it.”

This is the general attitude of Joe Meno’s third novel, Hairstyles of the Damned (2004). Personally, I had never even heard of Joe Meno until this summer when a relative of mine suggested I read his

Roll Light Show, a much louder and less educational show.

Light shows are $5 each. More information is available at: www.park-land.edu/coned/pla.

Parkland Art Gallery features the Parkland Art Faculty Exhibition until Sept 22.

Next is the Commercial/Visions/Personal/Illustrations exhibit which will be on display starting Sept. 28 until Oct. 27. The exhibits are free.

For more info, visit: www.parkland.edu/gallery.

this week in music

singers Joni Laurence and Angie Heaton and alternative acts Relenter and i:scintilla are donating all profits from sales at CD Baby to the Red Cross. In addition, i:scintilla is donating its cut of the door Saturday at Cowboy Monkey to the Red Cross. A list of the hundreds of CD baby artists donating to the American Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund is available at http://cdbaby.com/group/redcross.

Joni Laurence recently returned from the NewSong Festival in Shepherdstown, W. Va., and is soon off to the Pacific Northwest for a tour that starts Sept. 14 and spans 12 dates in Washington and Oregon. Angie Heaton performs Saturday at 8 p.m. for Corkscrew After Dark at Corkscrew Wine Emporium. This is a free, smoke-free show where wine and non-alcoholic beverages are available.

Corkscrew Wine Emporium is located at 203 N. Vine St. in Urbana, across from Schnucks. Then Sunday, Angie Heaton and her backing band the Gentle Tamers open for The Knitters at The Highdive. Show time is 9 p.m., and cover is $18 in advance, $20 at the door. Saturday at Cowboy Monkey, i:scintilla plays with Sanya N’Kanta, Krukid and The Firebird Band. Show time is 10 p.m. and cover is $5.

Terminus Victor has a track on the October Copper Press sampler. Copper Press is a post-punk magazine out of Acme (Michigan) with national distribution.Terminus Victor is also in line for inclusion on the Hopeless/Sub City Records Take

I Don’t Need A Record Dea! KYLE GORMAN • MUSIC EDITOR

Action! Vol. 5 compilation, concurrent with a Spring 2006 tour of the East Coast. As Terminus Victor’s album ‘Under Surveillance’ is pressed, guitarist Don King and his wife are in Asia for two weeks to adopt a daughter. Under Surveillance is due Sept. 27, and the release party is Oct. 14 at Cowboy Monkey with JigGsaw. Show time is 10 p.m., and cover is $4.

Tuesday at The Highdive, Subversion incorporates more live music with Austin darkwave duo The Machine in the Garden: sort of a chilled out Rainer Mar ia with flashes of Loreena McKennitt. Also aboard are DJs TwinScin, Evily, and ZoZo. Show time is 10 p.m., and cover is $3.

Shipwreck, The Chemicals, and Megan Johns/The Greytones play acoustically tonight at The Courtyard. San Franciscan neo-folkie Nedelle headlines. Show time is 8 p.m., and cover is $5 ($3 with valid UIUC student ID).Tomorrow at 5:30 p.m., BMW Organ Trio performs a free happy hour at Cowboy Monkey.The Urbana band blends traditional and modern jazz. BMW Organ Trio is organist Leigh Meador, guitarist Matthew Warnock, and drummer Chris Baker. Then at 10 p.m., elsinore plays at The Iron Post with Theory of Everything and Jenny Keefe. Cover is $3.

#92

EMILY COTTERMAN • STAFF WRITER

music

In response to Hurricane Katrina, folk

PARKLAND THEATRE FALL PREVIEW

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I’VE GOT A WHOLE FLASK HERE THAT SAYS YOU’RE WRONG

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literature

Subtitled “Your survival guide for the indie music revolution,” Daylle Deanna

Schwartz has compiled a useful guide to those who desire to make music the independent way. Schwartz is all business; she doesn’t talk style, but works with the assumption that the reader already has “THE GOODS” (capitalization hers). This is truly a thorough guide, as she touches on such diverse topics as health on tour and touring internationally in addition to some more obvious ones. Daylle creates a case for artists to consider independence, then really provides the goods herself when it comes to covering the subject with mounds of research.

One of the major themes of the book may come as a suprise – she suggests many ways for an independent musician to embed themselves in corporate goingson in addition to her DIY advice.

There are chapters on licensing, marketing, music editing, and other “serious biz” outlets.

Schwartz uses a LOT of quotations from musicians and industry people, so many that readers are likely to filter them out. Clint Black and Michelle Shocked are probably the two best known contributors, but most others are unknowns, or humorously forgotten, like Speech of Arrested Development.

Despite that, I Don’t Need A Record Deal is a excellent starting point for musical artists wondering how they fit into it all.

Todd J. Hunter hosts WEFT Sessions and Champaign Local 901, two hours of live local music every Monday night at 10 p.m. on 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com.

Daylle Deanna Schwartz will be speaking about her book next Sunday, Sept. 11 at 8p.m. This show occurs at The Courtyard at the Illini Union and is gratis.

Bat Boy - RCA and Dramatists play service, inc.

latest novel. From the moment I picked up the book I found myself saying “God-damn-it, this guy wrote my book!!!” The book’s hero, Brian, is a kid from a small suburb bordered on three sides by Chicago called Evergreen Park (my hometown), who goes to school at Brother Rice High School, an all boys Catholic prep school (my alma mater). Southside!

As far as plot goes, it is a Neo-Salinger-esque tale of deeply romantic proportions. In a world where racism and classism are the law, Brian finds himself struggling to carve out an identity for himself, while at the same time realizing that he is madly in love with his best friend Gretchen, an overweight brawling punk chick. Brian’s journey is a vivid trip into the high school underground, complete with basement rock shows, cheap beer, shwag pot and parking lot fights.

And if anyone doubts the validity of the racial

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Just a stone's throw away is ChampaignUrbana's landmark for the finest in nachos, fajitas, burgers, italian beef, BBQ ribs, steaks, salads, and sandwiches. Stop in for lunch or dinner from 11 am daily and help us

book review

tensions in the novel, I will tell you from personal experience that Meno is actually quite tame in his depictions. The part about having separate black and white senior proms in 1991 really did happen!

Overall, the book is not a literary masterpiece, but it’s heartbreakingly honest nonetheless. A must read for anyone who has ever seen themselves reflected in the lyrics of The Who’s Baba O’Reilly.

Not to mention anyone who finds themselves in dire need of a good old fashioned wrong-timewrong-place teenage erection story.

Meno is a professor of creative writing at Columbia College in Chicago, and winner of the 2003 Nelson Algren Award for short fiction. He is also the cofounder of Sleepwalk magazine, coeditor of Bail magazine, and a columnist for Punk Planet magazine. His earlier novels include Tender as Hellfire (1999) and How the Hula Girl Sings (2003). s o u n d s

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DRUM ‘N’ BASS AT NARGILE’S “CONTACT” music would attract other local supporters of the drum ‘n’ bass scene, who would serve as the lifeblood of his new night. Naturally, the man Diggs turned to was Armands Revelins, aka DJ Geist. A long-time supporter and veteran of the local drum ‘n’ bass scene, Revelins brought to the table what could have taken months for Diggs to accomplish. In a short matter of time, the two formed a very sensible working relationship in hopes of solidifying the drum ‘n’ bass presence in Champaign-Urbana.

Geist, which means “spirit” or “mind” in German, is a fitting alias.

Revelins is in his fifth year of the doctorate program in philosophy at the U of I. An avid collector of vinyl records, he has amassed an impressive catalogue of bootlegs, white labels and rare out-of-print recordings. The wall of “infinite respect,” dedicated to drum ‘n’ bass’ most influential labels, is his collection’s greatest point of interest.

“I’ve found it worthwhile and interesting to track the history of certain producers and labels. Hearing how a producer wrote a song on synthesizers and equipment that by today’s standards is considered cumbersome, and comparing it to efforts by the same or other producers on very advanced and current computers and gear is fascinating,” admits Revelins.

“It’s not always the case that the more recent stuff is an improvement. In a way, when producers weren’t overwhelmed with possibilities, they managed to write songs that evoked different kinds of moods and attitudes quite clearly.

Collecting records is a means for comparing the development and elaboration of styles and expressions.”

Although this is not the first time drum ‘n’ bass has been introduced to Nargile, Revelins expects “Contact” to be successful.Attendance has increased steadily, and Revelins acknowledges that word of mouth has been key in keeping the culture alive. “There was drum ‘n’ bass in C-U before ‘Contact,’ and there will be drum ‘n’ bass in C-U afterwards.” buzz PHOTOGRAPHS BY AUSTIN HAPPEL

argile Lounge has introduced a new format to liven up their weekly lineup. Wednesdays now feature “Contact,” a night of drum ‘n’ bass music sponsored by Urbana-Champaign Drum ‘n’ Bass (UCDNB). Since opening, the bar has experimented with bringing niche music (indie rock, house and var ious inter national dance musics) to its doors.

Drum ‘n’ bass (also referred to as D&B, drum & bass, or jungle) is a subgenre of electronic music known for its ferocious basslines and frantic percussion. The obligitory use, or misuse, of sub bass often makes the music seem aggressive and masculine. The antithesis to sugary-sweet electronic musics such as trance and house. Drum ‘n’ bass is emotional music.

It can be raw and abrasive or quite the opposite, light and funky.

Unlike most other subgenres of electronic dance, it lacks the steady, repetitive beat. The groove of drum ‘n’ bass comes from its breakbeats.The term “breakbeat” is derived from funk and disco, in which dancers were encouraged to let loose during the percussion-only section of the track. More recently, modern technology allowed for the creation of loops, which in turn spawned the idea of looping breaks into a full song. With the standard tempo of a track ranging from 160-180 beats per Local DJs lay down drum ‘n’ bass at Nargile’s Wednesday nights minute, this is music that would not exist without digital aid. A human drummer would find it near impos- floor beneath everyone’s feet. Most fans are there to genuinely expesible to sustain the inside ryhthms at such a speed for a pro- rience an intimate connection between the DJ, audience and music.

“I like it, it’s a change,” says bartender Rollins Duckwitz. longed period of time. Therefore, the appropriate philosophy behind drum ‘n’ bass is to embrace technology and continually Duckwitz feels the new musical alternative will provide for a strive for innovation and change. By incorporating a wide range better atmosphere, and hopes to see attendance increase over of influences, including the broken-beat funk of James Brown and the next few months.

The introduction of “Contact” was primarily the work dub-plates of old reggae records, newer drum ‘n’ bass has done exceptionally well at incorporating hip-hop MCs and jazz into the of Nargile employee Michael Raphael Diggs. Diggs enlistmix. The UK has been almost universally accepted as the birth- ed the help of UCDNB, which began as a small group of place of drum ‘n’ bass, with pioneers such as Goldie, Roni Size and friends playing records for each other. Their passion towards the music culminated in the website LTJ Bukem, but artists can be found on any corner of the globe.

“What I like is that there’s so much energy. The music is UCDNB.com, an outlet for the junglist ethos in C-U. really satisfying and it makes me feel good,” says local drum ‘n’ Since launching in Aug. 2004, it has become an gathering spot for the drum ‘n’ bass culture, with news, a message bass supporter Reuben Mele.

The basement of Nargile is warm and inviting. Flavored hookahs board, music recommendations, event listings and their and arcade games keep the customers happy, and the aquarium above own house parties.

Since day one, Diggs understood that the support and approval the bar radiates with a soft glow as the neon lights by the dancefloor burst in unpredictable directions. The rumbling of the bass shakes the of local drum 'n' bass DJ’s was essential. Good DJ’s and good

‘Contact’ goes down from 9pm till close every Wednesday night at the the lower level of Nargile in downtown Champaign. For more information on drum ‘n’ bass Bass music or to get involved, visit www.ucdnb.com.

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G’S UP, HOES DOWN

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Adam Dupuis

WAXIN’ AND RINSIN’

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TOO MANY PIECES OF MUSIC FINISH TOO LONG AFTER THE END. - igor stravinsky

ANTHONY HUANG • STAFF WRITER

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My name is Adam Dupuis I am currently a senior 2-D studio art major at Eastern Illinois University.

I was born in Kankakee Ill., where I attended grade school through my sophomore year of high school.

I then moved to Springfield Ill., and graduated high school and began studying art at Lincoln Land Community College. After a year there I took a year off of school and moved to Champaign, before deciding to transfer to EIU. I plan on graduating in the next year and going on to graduate school to receive my masters degree in studio art with an emphasis on painting, and then find a job teaching at a university. Over the past four years I have participated in numerous shows at galleries on the Lincoln land community college campus, Burl Ives gallery and the Tarble Arts Center on the EIU campus. Here in Champaign I’ve had the opportunity to show my work at Cafe Kopi.

What are you most proud of?

I am always most proud of the newest piece I have finished.

Each painting is a learning experience. Whether the piece is successful or not, you can always learn from your mistakes and this keeps your work constantly evolving and growing.

What inspires you?

There are many things I have found that inspire my work.

Currently I am working with medical diagrams and photographs taken through high-powered microscopes. I was interested in using these naturally occurring organic compositions as the basis for the paintings in this series.

How did you begin painting?

I began painting when I was in grade school and I can remember my mom signing me up for classes through the park district in Kankakee. The class focused on regional landscapes.

I took as many art classes as I could in high school and when it came time to make a decision for college, art seemed the obvious choice.

What artists have you been influenced by?

A few artists that have been huge influences on my work are Duffy, Kandinsky, Picasso, Munch and Warhol. I know there are many more but these are always the first that came to mind.

What other mediums have you worked with?

Out side of painting with oils, acrylics and water color, I have done work with photography, ceramics and metals. Ceramics and metals are a good digression from painting because they allow me to work in another dimension.

Adam can be reached at adamfdupuis@yahoo.com s o u n d s

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WAY TO GO ILLINI FOOTBALL!

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WHY IS GRAPE NUTS CEREAL CALLED THAT, WHEN IT CONTAINS NEITHER GRAPES, NOR NUTS?

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A good excuse to drink

Modern life is so thin and shallow and fake.

I look forward to when developers go bankrupt, Japan gets poorer and wild grasses take over.

ERIN SCOTTBERG • AROUND TOWN EDITOR

Hayao Miyazaki

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nimation is written off for two reasons: it is viewed as low-art and it is childish. The form is inherently associated with cartoons, comics and doodles. The only thing considered worse is “Japanimation.� Ever since Tezuka Osama created the style of characters with huge, glaringly reflective pupils, the public, except for the select few who worship it, has refused to accept anime and manga.

When I asked my anime friends their opinion of Japanese animator Miyazaki Hayao, their answer baffled me.“I don’t see why he’s such a big deal,� was the response.

To understand the importance and genius of Hayao requires a crash course in anime aesthetics. For starters, most anime is based off manga, the Japanese equivalent of comic books. Anime produced in Japan either panders to children or your Adult Swim fan, ranging from teenage to middle age. It is very rare that these programs find a medium enjoyed between the two groups.

The animation in anime is enormously constrained due to the constant deadlines to produce more episodes. This in turn causes the show to repeat frames of action, forces the camera to remain on a still frame, and provides very little character movement and expression. The process works, to an extent, allowing quality programming and above cartoon animation for many anime shows. It is here that Hayao separates himself from the rest of his colleagues.

Hayao is known not only for creating fully rendered animation, but also for providing enormous amounts of extra detail in his art. His creations resemble life through minute facial expressions, physical quirks and visual depth. In his most popular film, My Neighbor Totoro, the plot revolves around two sisters who discover Totoro, a forest troll, in the woods next to their house. There is little dialogue between the main characters throughout the film, but plot is still clear to

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Wisely ignoring the history of the curse, Hayao tells a story about friendship in the midst of fascism and uses Porco’s appearance as a foil for humanity at its best and worst.

This kind of narrative insight is common in all of Hayao’s projects such as Castle in the Sky, Kiki’s Delivery Service and the various other films previously mentioned, but it is the universal themes that attract children and adults to these films. In My Neighbor Totoro, the plot is not centered on a conflict but on the characters. The two sisters, Satsuki and Mei, have a bond that is passed on to Totoro.

While it is known that their mother suffers from an illness, it is the bond between these three fr iends that provide the narrative and not the danger of their mother’s health, though it is an important aspect of the story. Even his classic television show Lupin III remains in such high regard as revolutionary Astroboy and American cartoons from Warner Bros, Hanna-Barbera, and of course, Disney.

There is a reason that Disney has tried to release all of Hayao’s films in America since the early ‘90s. He has the same appreciation for animation and mentality for story telling as Walt Disney.

The influence of Disney is a natural outgrowth from anime/manga ‘god’ Tezuka Osama, whom all anime branches from, to Hayao. It is even said that Hayao might save Disney animation in the years to come.

In a time where 2D animation is being discarded for 3D rendered digital animation, it is important to have an animator like Hayao. He is not only innovative but also motivates others to show that hand drawn animated films still can remain relevant. It holds a classic artistry and vibrancy that computer generated images cannot emulate.

While Disney is closing down its animation studio, Hayao’s studio, Ghibli, remains active creating blockbusters in Japan and overseas. He is an important figure not only in the anime community but the film community in general.

Hayao is a creative voice that is desperately needed in Hollywood, where ideas are lacking and innovation is rarely encouraged. buzz PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY NIKITA SOROKIN

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the audience. A sense of mystery, friendship and wonder can be seen through subtlety in their facial expressions that very few real actors can produce.

But Hayao also holds an extravagance to his films that visually awes and inspires.

Whether it is the science fiction adventure Howl’s Moving Castle or the Alice in Wonderland fantasy Spirited Away, he presents soaring environments and imaginative worlds.Where many animated features provide constrained backgrounds as set pieces merely to serve the plot, Hayao is noted for producing canvases of landscaping for his settings. He provides meticulous detail such as empty bottles on a pond floor, tadpoles in a puddle or water droplets on grains of grass, creating a sense of history and scope that immerses not only his characters, but his audience as well.

A gifted storyteller, Hayao fuses Japanese folklore with his own imaginative tales of wonder. In Princess Mononoke, he tells the tale of a young boy searching for a cure for a fatal curse, only to be caught in the middle of a war between worlds: nature vs. machine. Death is an inevitability and the danger is quite apparent and real.There is love, sacrifice, and even an allegory about imperialism beneath the surface of the story.

In Porco Rosso, the eponymous main character is a pig. A period piece set in WWII Italy, the film combines noir, politics, comedy and a bit of swashbuckling in a rousing actionadventure. There is emotional weight to the film, not because of sympathy that Porco is cursed as a pig, but because of his isolation and regret over the past.

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drink tonight. Just make sure it’s at one of five downtown bars that are making it easy for drinkers of all types, from “I have an occasional glass of wine with dinner� to “If I don’t show up at Piccadilly by 5:00 p.m. the employees get worried� to raise money for the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

Each participating bar will donate a portion of tonight’s profits to the Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund. Patrons are asked to match what they spend on drinks in a donation as well.

However, there is no minimum donation, whatever is affordable is welcome.

The Hurricane Relief Bar Crawl is only one part of a larger initiative of fund-raising efforts in the downtown Champaign area.

Event founders Amanda Bloomfield, Ed Thompson and Holly Krieger devised the bar crawl as an event to benefit Katrina refuges without taking time out of people’s lives “It’s a way to raise money and unify the downtown area in a way that people would do anyway,� said Bloomfield.

Although some may feel guilty about drinking at a bar on dry land while so many people are suffering in one of the nation’s worst natural disasters, including 21-year-old University of Illinois senior Jenny Boyle, many realize that it’s a way to rally the normal habits of the Champaign-Urbana community for a good cause. “It’s an odd concept. Only in a bar town like Champaign can you use the alcoholic tendencies of twenty-ish year old kids to raise a potentially large amount of money for relief,� said Boyle.

Start off the evening with one of more than 70 varieties of beer at the Blind Pig, 120 N. Walnut, Champaign, and continue switching bars every hour until 10 p.m., when the event converges at Mike ‘n Molly’s, 105 N. Market St., Champaign. Participants can register at any time at any of the participating locations.

Other downtown businesses will also be sharing their profits with the Red Cross and have donation boxes. Hot Diggity!, 501 N. Neil, Champaign, has pledged to donate 10 percent of their day’s profit on any day in September that they make more than $50 in sales.

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HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE

Japanese animation. His Oscar-nominated Spirited Away packed an emotional punch and provided a window of possibilities into the stagnant world of animation. Long renowned as more than a trashy anime artist, his vision is both magnificent and poetic.

Howl’s Moving Castle has a vague resemblance to his previous PAUL PRIKAZSKY • LEAD REVIEWER effort. Both involve a female heroine lost in a magical world where anything is possible and the characters are just as strange n recent years, the animation field has been almost entirely as they are wonderful.

The girl in question is Sophie (voiced by Emily Mortimer), dominated by two superpowers, Pixar and Dreamworks. But the little-known and vastly underrated Japanese contribution to ani- a timid hatter who falls under the spell of the loathsome Witch mation offers a radical new dimension of depth and heart to a of the Waste (Lauren Bacall). Sophie is transformed into an old crone and is unable to tell a soul about the catastrophe genre that was once ruled by Mickey and Minnie.

If you’re expecting a rendition of Pokemon or a riff on Digimon, that has befallen her.

In search of a cure, she runs across Calcifer (Billy Crystal), you are sorely mistaken.There are many layers to a story as complex as Howl’s Moving Castle. After all, it is based on the novel by a chatty fire demon that runs a monstrosity of odds and ends, Diana Wynne Jones, and her story is one where fantasy meets real- loosely constructed in the form of a castle. The owner is Howl ity and the inhabitants occupy a world strongly reminiscent of a (Christian Bale), a vain wizard at odds with the world. future envisioned by H.G. Wells with fantastical elements by Complications arise when he is called upon to stop a war being waged between the humans and an army of mutant birds hell bent Tolkein just for good measure.

Writer/director Hayao Miyazaki is the driving force behind on utter destruction.

Howl’s Moving Castle is a real trip. The excitement and humor meet in a nice equilibrium and move the story to a whole different level. It’s a cartoon with all the depth and character development of a live action film. There are multiple facets to the cadre of characters and their feelings of fear, love, jealousy and yearning are far removed from any fish in Finding Nemo.

The animation is peerless when compared to the now-commonplace computerized imagery from our friends at Pixar. Hayao opts for a more archaic form, but imbues intricate details and vivid colors to capture his extraordinary vision. From the fleets of bomb-dropping war machines to the serene flowery fields of Howl’s childhood, each scene is overwhelming and wonderful.

Unfortunately, there are flaws. Japanese animators reuse three different animated personages: the beautiful, the mundane and the grotesque.

Each character has the enormous round eyes and porcelain skin of its anime roots. These are the characters that have been copied countless times and stored into the public conscious as the comHOWL’S MOVING CASTLE • JOSH HUTCHERSON & CRISPIN FREEMAN (VOICES) mon perception of Japanese animation. Had Hayao spiced up the people that populate his unique

There are places man was never meant to go, and the theater

showing Bruce Hunt’s The Cave is one of them. The movie’s audience doesn’t just deserve their money back, they deserve an apology.

The Cave doesn’t quite know what it wants to be. Part of it is trying to be a horror film, but it isn’t scary. Another part wants to be an action/thriller, but it isn’t exciting. And yet another part wants to be a fun popcorn movie. If that’s the case, my popcorn is stale. And overbuttered.

After discovering an unexplored cave in Romania, a team of elite American cave explorers, none of whom appear to be over the age of 25, begin the daunting task of descending into the massive cavern. The team is led by Jack (Cole Hauser). He and Buchanan (Morris Chestnut) have performed countless undersea exploration and cave diving missions together. Jack’s brother, Tyler (Eddie Cibrian), is the lead scout for the crew. His scouting couldn’t have been all that good, because once they enter the cave they can’t find their way out and are attacked by malicious man-eating predators.

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worlds, his vision would truly have been a remarkable one.

But who’s breathing life into these characters? It’s not the Alist cast with bloated salaries and egos to match. These are real actors. Each one brings experience and raw emotion to characters that would normally be paper-thin. Christian Bale speaks with a haughty sense of smugness that compliments Howl’s personality to a T, And Lauren Bacall turns the Witch of the Waste into something far from a typical villainess. Her Hollywood wisdom and raspy vocals turn the witch into much more than just another obnoxious genie á la Robin Williams.

But it is Howl’s titular castle that is the glue of the story and is built much like Miyazaki’s tale. It’s a conglomeration of loose ends, mish-moshed together to create something bizarrely beautiful and captivating.

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While the performances in the movie are bad across the board, the problem lies more in the words coming out of their mouths.

Buchanan, before entering the cave, warns the team, “Its already taken at least one life. Respect the cave.” Sounds like he has about three days experience on the job.

About the only thing worse than the film’s script and acting is its directing. The Cave just can’t seem to get anything right. Hunt, in his directorial debut, seems to have set the pacing to a completely different film.The cuts are so quick and immediate that not only is it impossible to orient yourself with the action, but it loses all potential to be scary. Horror direction ought to be slow and methodical. The Cave is fast and sloppy. It doesn’t allow us an opportunity to see the gigantic sets, which may be one of the few THE CAVE • MORRIS CHESTNUT bright spots in the film.

There is a scene in The Cave that defies all logic and reason. claw moves itself. And the movie reaches a new low.

In a year that has seen its fair share of horror movies, from Jack battles with one of the predators and cuts one of his claws off. The team’s scientist, Katherine (Lena Headey), examines Boogeyman to The Amityville Horror and more recently, The the 12 inch claw and can only conclude “It’s a predator.” Well, Skeleton Key, The Cave ranks near the bottom.Trap the writers, glad we got that cleared up. As she continues to study the claw, director and actors in a cave for two weeks and whatever movie it moves violently to the loud crash of the soundtrack.Yes, the they create will be better than The Cave.

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music on the set and he enhanced it through the editing process.”

In addition to the production of music being a different experience for Finkelman as a musician, Leilani also said that as a dancer, performing in the film version of AfroSocialiteLifeDiva was different.

“It was hard to remember that if we made a mistake we could just stop and do it again,” said Leilani.

Oliver herself has admitted that she was apprehensive about turning the live performance into a film. This was the first time that any of her works had been made into a film version.

“It was exciting, exhausting and terrifying.

Film is forever. Live performance is something that comes and goes,” said Oliver.

Yet, judging from the positive responses that she received on Sunday, it appeared that the mission of getting the audience to understand the layers of these women’s lives and their bonds with one another had been successfully accomplished.

“I really loved it. I really think that it offered a unique personal narrative approach that’s uncommon,” said Sara Hook, Interim

Head of the Department of Dance at the University, and filmgoer. “It was a welcoming work that had so much to do with our history and our womanhood.”

While working on this film as well as the stage version of AfroSocialiteLifeDiva, Oliver’s main concern was that the audiences understood the beauty of these women and their struggles, pain, happiness, loves and how they comfort and support one another.

Oliver is currently a dance instructor at the University of Illinois and is working on future projects such as pieces on intimacy and Calypso, a form of Caribbean music and dance.

The film begins and ends in the same fashion, inferring that ultimately these women who are interconnected live and experience within one circular understanding of life.

The narrator says, “They were a family of women. Generations. Mothers and Daughters.

Sisters and friends. Each a part of the other.

Radically different and somehow yet the same.

She is AfroSocialiteLifeDiva.”

As Oliver said, the story continues. Not only the story and journey of the black women in her family, but black women universally.

She is.They were.They are, and will be. buzz

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WHY DID YANKEE DOODLE NAME THE FEATHER IN HIS HAT MACARONI?

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it, because the plot is so outrageous. Avenging your dear old mother sounds well and good, but I have a feeling she’d be the first one to disapprove. (Just)

shaDEs of GrAy

5

buzz weekly •

ISN’T TNT ALWAYS HAVING A LAW & ORDER MARATHON?

RED EYE

they could imagine as fitting [and] could hold her beauty in Before the film was screened at the Krannert Art Museum, the odd way that the specific community tried or could it aired on Aug. 25 on the European Television Arts Channel, understand the containment of a woman and her potential Canal Arte. power over men.� “I have the opportunity to convert stage pieces into film in “The Holy Roller Named order to get the message across to Pimp’s� sister’s story follows, in a bigger audiences,� said Behrens. scene in front of a barn in the field. “One word to describe the The final character who is film would be "depth." Because referred to as “another named Mary,� between all the words and expetalks about her experiences in the riences that moved through the ...between all the Caribbean of witnessing “blackness generations of these women, the in celebration.� one thing that is consistently words and experipresent is depth,� said Blossom ences that moved Leilani, a dancer in the film. through the generaOliver got the title of the film he original version of Afrofrom a series of nicknames given tions of these women, SocialiteLifeDiva premiered as a full to her by her good friend, artist the one thing that is length evening stage performance at Vernon Reid. consistently present is Dance Theater Workshop as part of “He gave me this name its Carnival Series in New York City because he was amazed at how depth� in Jan. and Feb. of 2003. when we would go out together -Blossom Leilani The performance was then transin New York, I would easily formed into a 25-minute film in move from one social group of Oct. 2004 under the direction of people to another. It started out German filmmaker Marcus Behrens, with just a few names and evenand filmed on location in the tually he kept adding to it. The Champaign-Urbana community. entire name is almost a paragraph long� laughed Oliver. “After I saw this amazing performance in New York, it “As Another Named Mary,� Oliver herself has a personal conreally stuck in my mind that I have got to get into contact with nection with the Caribbean as she was raised there. She also spent a this woman,� said Behrens. portion of her life in New York.

T

She usually uses the inspiration of her Caribbean upbringing for the storyline of her works. Oliver has been dancing for over 30 years, and said that by the time that she was 12-years-old she knew that she wanted to be a dancer. “I come from a family of people who are exceptional movers,� said Oliver. “Dance and art, aren’t things that I do. They’re just apart of me. I don’t know who I’d be if I didn’t dance.�

Similarly, Oliver’s husband Jason Finkelman, who collaborated with her to provide the music featured in the film and stage adaptation, also described his passion for art as being apart of his spirit.

Finkelman's group Straylight, which he describes as an ‘improvising ensemble,’ has been performing together since the early ‘90s. He explained that for each specific performance the music chosen has to be different. “In order to do music for theater and dance that’s highly text-based the music needs to propel the movement and underscore the dialogue,� said Finkelman.

Finkelman noted that the process of working on the soundtrack for a film as opposed to a live stage performance was a completely different experience. “When you're creating music for film instead of working on music in rehearsal or live performance you don't have the luxury of working off the energy of the dancers in the room, he said.“In this case, I wasn't sure how the music would translate. The director would play the recorded C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

7

CALL FOR NOMINATIONS

ART LIVES HERE AND WE RE HONORING IT

.ORTH IS PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THE INAUGURAL !#% !RTS #ULTURE

%NTERTAINMENT !WARDS THAT RECOGNIZE AND CELEBRATE OUTSTANDING CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE CULTURAL LIFE OF #HAMPAIGN #OUNTY 4HE !#% !WARDS WILL BE PRESENTED IN SEVEN CATEGORIES %DUCATION 7hhh-EDIA 7hhh"USINESS 7hhh#OMMUNITY !DVOCATE 7hhh!RTS 0ARTNERS #REATIVE #OMMUNITY 3ERVICE 7hhhAND THE !#% ,IFETIME !CHIEVEMENT !WARD

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MOVIE NEWS BY SHADIE ELNASHAI

So despite being a little rusty, Shades of Grey is back after an overlong hiatus to bring you those crucial news items without which your week would not be complete.

First up Heath Ledger, who gets respect for his ingenious response to paparazzi. Gone is the traditional lawyer-backed hissy-fit, making way instead for eggs. The Australian actor, whose life highlight is presenting a Golden Globe, attacks them with female gametes, preferably the putrefied variety. "I've thrown an egg.

Not at them, just kind of next to them so it splatters against them".

Cunning. "We can't physically stand up and hit them back, of course, it would be rude ‌ and against the law.

So you just get an egg." Someone should suggest this to fellow Antipodean Russel Crowe.

Both of Jennifer Love Hewitt's fans will be relieved that her recent getting-hit-on-the-head-with-a-chair incident resulted in little more than mild concussion. This poorly masked and highly contrived attempt to save us all from the forthcoming Ghost Whisperer obviously failed, though Shades of Grey would perhaps nix the chair and substitute in a hatchet in an attempt to avoid atrocities such as Gar field, The Tuxedo, Heartbreakers, ad infinitum.

Robert de Niro's former maid employed inventive excuses once she was caught looting a booty that included a $96k necklace: "If he treated me better, with more respect, I probably wouldn't have done this", claims Lucyna Turyk-Wawrynowicz upon her arrest. Citing that famous passage in the Bible "Thou shall not steal unless thy employer's a cad", the Unpronounceable One explained "I didn't steal from Isabella Rossellini because she treated me well".

Rossellini's recent inability to get decent roles will no doubt seem trivial when compared to the esteem of said convicted felon.

Finally, Big Up to the crew and cast of "Aura, IL", whom I left recently.

They are hard at work in Champaign's blazing sun making a corno about barns. I guess this might be considered an in-joke.

THE BROTHERS GRIMM

Rachel McAdams & Cillian Murphy In the end, Red Eye is still a B-movie. It’s an exploitation film that is based solely around thrills to arouse the audience’s interest. For an exciting ride, it’s worth it; an unforgettable movie it’s not. Red Eye marks Craven’s return to the shorter, simpler films of his early career.

Maybe if he had a hand in developing the script, the characters would have been more captivating (Prikazsky) THE SKELETON KEY

Matt Damon & Heath Ledger After a lengthy hiatus, visionary director Terry Gilliam makes his triumphant return with The Brothers Grimm, an uneven though inspired fairy tale. If nothing else, it is a visual feast likely to keep the audience fully satiated.

Unfortunately, this film suffers where so many do: story.

The plot is paper thin and lacks the pure excitement a movie of this caliber should have. It seems too simple and the events unravel too quickly. (Paul Prikazsky) THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN

Kate Hudson & John Hurt Some of the most frightening horror films are so effective because they are grounded in reality. When you realize this could really happen, you’re more likely to sleep with a nightlight on. Films like Rosemary’s Baby, The Omen and The Exorcist (to a certain extent) are stories real enough to make you believe. Skeleton Key isn’t quite in that tier yet, but it sure comes close. (Prikazsky)

Fresh flicks opening this weekend

Steve Carell & Catherine Keener The 40-Year-Old Virgin manages to stay away nicely from being a one-joke feature, as so many other comedies often are.Ultimately, it delivers something that everyone can appreciate and enjoy, virgins or not. The movie teaches us that there can be no progress without risk, and that trying and trying again, is the only way to succeed.

Cheesy? Maybe. But it’s just so funny. (David Just) FOUR BROTHERS

Mark Wahlberg & Andre Benjamin So Four Brothers works as a violent crime drama, but doesn’t effectively capture the characters. It would have been nice to see more dealing with the racial context of their relationship. It’s hard to give the film too much cred-

THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE Laura Linney & Tom Wilkinson Well it’s been about three weeks since the last new horror movie came out, so we’re due for another. Based on a true stor y, Linney plays a lawyer who defends a priest (Wilkinson) against homicide charges after he per forms an exorcism on a young German girl. Sounds like Law & Order meets The Exorcist, which is a pretty creative idea as far as Hollywood horror films go. (Andrew Vecelas)

CHARLIE & CHOCOLATE (PG) Fri. 1:25 4:00 7:00 9:35 12:00 Sat. 11:00 1:25 4:00 7:00 9:35 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:25 4:00 7:00 9:35 THE GREAT RAID (R) Fri. & Sat. 9:20 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 9:20 MARCH-PENGUINS (G) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 Sat. 11:30 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 WEDDING CRASHERS (R) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:40 4:15 7:10 9:50 Sat. 11:10 1:40 4:15 7:10 9:50 RED EYE (PG–13) Fri. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:15 9:30 11:30 Sat. 11:00 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:15 9:30 11:30 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:15 9:30 BROTHERS GRIMM (PG–13) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:45 Sat. 11:00 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:45 TRANSPORTER 2 (PG–13) Fri. 1:30 3:40 5:50 8:00 10:10 Sat. 11:30 1:30 3:40 5:50 8:00 10:10 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 3:40 5:50 8:00 Fri. & Sat. 1:00 3:10 5:20 7:30 9:40 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:10 5:20 7:30 9:40 SKELETON KEY (PG–13) Fri. 1:55 4:30 7:10 9:40 12:05 Sat. 11:10 1:55 4:30 7:10 9:40 12:05 Sun. - Thu. 1:55 4:30 7:10 9:40 40 YEAR-OLD VIRGIN (R) Fri. - Thu. 1:10 4:10 7:10 9:50

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THE CAVE (PG–13) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00 Sat. 11:00 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00 THE MAN (PG–13) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:10 3:05 5:00 7:00 9:20 Sat. 11:15 1:10 3:05 5:00 7:00 9:20 DUKES OF HAZZARD (PG–13) Fri. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:30 12:00 Sat. 11:05 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:30 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:30 A SOUND OF THUNDER (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:30 11:45 Sun. - Thu. 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:30 EMILY ROSE (PG–13) (2 SCREENS) Fri. 2:00 2:30 4:40 5:10 7:20 8:00 10:00 10:45 Sat. 11:20 11:45 2:00 2:30 4:40 5:10 7:20 8:00 10:00 10:45 (2 SCREENS) Sun. - Thu. 2:00 2:30 4:40 5:10 7:20 8:00 10:00 FOUR BROTHERS (R) Fri. 1:40 4:15 7:05 9:35 12:05 Sat. 11:15 1:40 4:15 7:05 9:35 12:05 Sun. - Thu. 1:40 4:15 7:05 9:35 UNDERCLASSMAN (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00

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w i l l

a s t r o l o g y

strong opinions you've been proud of in the past, but which you no longer agree with. Try to get it through your beautiful head that you're not the person you were when you first acquired those old beliefs, and it's time to leave them behind.

CANCER

ARIES

(March 21-April 19)

When I was 19, a masked gunman pumped a load of buckshot into my hip after a student demonstration. To this day, I have 43 pieces of metal in my body. What kind of metal? That's an important question. Until I find out the answer, I can never get an MRI. Medical technicians tell me that unless they're sure the shards in me aren't the kind of metal that could be moved by the MRI's strong magnetic field, they can't risk it. In a worstcase scenario, the shards might move so much they'd cause internal bleeding. And that's the story of how unknown factors from a past event are still affecting my life today. I believe you're now facing a comparable situation, Aries, though in a more metaphorical way. Go get the answers you need.

TAU RU S

(April 20-May 20)

From the window of my office I look down on a blackberry bush whose berries are now ripening. In the last 20 minutes, I've watched a sparrow figure out the best way to feast. At first the bird tried to land on the flimsy branches of the bush, but after a few tries it realized they couldn't hold its weight. Its revised strategy was to grab a single berry in mid-swoop and alight on the branch of a nearby apple tree so it could relax with its meal. It did this ten times. I recommend a similar approach to you, Taurus. According to my astrological analysis, you won't be able to enjoy your treats in the place where you find them. You'll have to pluck them, fly away, and savor them at a distance. Like the sparrow, you should keep returning for refills.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

America's first President George Bush, a Gemini who reigned from 1988 to 1992, had almost as quirky and paradoxical a mind as his son, who is the current leader of the free world. "I have strong opinions of my own," Bush the First once said, "but I don't always agree with them." Let that quizzical gem be your watchword in the coming days, Gemini. Disavow three

(June 21-July 22)

A lot of the teens I know have tattoos, but not my neighbor's 16-year-old daughter Lucretia.Fear of boredom is the main reason. "If I got a tattoo today, I'd be tired of it in six months," she explained to me. "And then what would I do? Undergo the torture of having it erased? I just can't deal with anything that would be a permanent part of me." Make her your role model this week, Cancerian. You're in the most transitory phase of your astrological cycle. For best results, revel in the parade of flashy beauty and captivating diversions, but don't get too attached to any single one.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

You are becoming very relaxed. All tension is flowing out of you.

Your worries are dissolving. With each breath, your body feels a growing sense of peace and well-being. Your mind is expanding naturally, allowing you to experience a harmonious attunement with life. In response, deep sources of practical intelligence are welling up into your awareness, filling you with good ideas about your long-term financial future. Soon you will begin writing down a ten-step master plan that will go a long way toward making you into a money magnet in the next 18 months.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

You don't want to have to answer to the past, right? It's a waste of time. Nor do you even feel like rebelling against the way things used to be or rejecting the stale old expectations people would like to hold you to. I don't blame you, Virgo--especially now, as you enter the frontier zone where the possibilities are limited only by your imagination. The way I see it, it's your sacred duty to shake off all the sacred duties from yesteryear as you go forth to create the future.

LIBRA

what ’s your sign?

that you're currently surrounded by arid extremes, a wealth of revivifying emotional riches lies just below the surface.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Please don't sit on your ass any more than you have to in the coming week. That's always a good rule to observe, but it's especially important to honor it now. The cosmic truth of the matter, Scorpio, is that you can't possibly make the right decisions if your physical energy is stagnant or if your field of vision is unchanging. For the sake of your future, for the health of your emotions, for the love of God, get out into the wild open spaces. And if that's not feasible, at least saunter around the neighborhood more than usual. Here's your motto, courtesy of St. Augustine: Solvitur ambulando, which is Latin for "It is solved by walking."

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec.21)

The entertainment industry foists a lot of garbage on us.

Stupid sex, gratuitous fear, and ugly violence are the norm. TV and film executives defend themselves against critics who accuse them of pandering to the lowest common denominator.

"We merely give people what they want," they say. To put that lame excuse in context, I'll quote Henry Ford, the automotive pioneer: "If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses." I hope that perspective inspires you to aim higher in the coming week, Sagittarius. Don't give anyone (including yourself) what they're accustomed to desiring; give them something better and more beautiful.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Back when it was still a fledgling business in the 1950s, the McDonald's hamburger franchise caught the attention of a salesman named Ray Kroc. He joined the team as an executive, and soon began thinking about buying the company outright.

jonesin crossword puzzle

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

s e p t

8

-

1 4

His advisors counseled him against it, but Kroc said he had "a feeling in his funny bone" that it was the right thing to do. Years later, he had become a billionaire, renowned as one of the world's titans of industry. I'm not necessarily saying you will amass a comparable fortune, Capricorn, but decisions you make in the coming weeks could be as life-changing as Kroc's-and maybe even instrumental in ensuring that you fulfill the mission you came to Earth to carry out. Trust the feelings in your funny bone.

AQUARIUS

Across 1 Tone ___ ("Funky Cold Medina" rapper) 4 Punched-in-the-solarplexus reaction 7 Honest guy 10 Ad-Rock cohort 13 Go to hell ___ hand basket 14 Bad citation after leaving the bar 15 Drink in a ceremony 16 Unit represented by an omega 17 Comedian who plays big interviewer Jiminy Glick 20 Stick in the microwave 21 Name associated with a marble sculp ture collection 22 Mnemonic used for the Great Lakes

23 Island: Fr. 24 "___ Flux" (2005 Charlize Theron movie) 25 Comedian seen at the end of "Dodgeball" letting himself go in a big way 27 Nightstand companion 29 Actor Nick in a disheveled 2002 mug shot 30 Alien critters 31 Visited 35 It'll make your rearview mirror vibrate 36 Comedian who played Fat Bastard to big acclaim 38 Dos to the tercero power 41 Condescending 42 Subject for EMT training

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and celebrate our heroes and

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

I predict that a new fashion trend will arise in the coming months: the intentional cultivation of "sacred acne" as a form of facial decoration. Hip magazines will offer instructions on how to compel pimples to appear in the shape of mythological emblems and religious symbols. I also predict, Pisces, that before the end of 2005 you will figure out how to take advantage of a quality you've always considered a liability. This seeming weakness or unloveliness may even become a spiritual asset. The transformation begins now.

Homework: Make a guess about where you'll be and what you'll be doing ten years from today. Testify at www.freewillastrology.

Big Laughs

45 Fantasia extra?

47 "Get your butt over (to)," in olden days 49 Monty Pythoner who exploded big-time in The Meaning of Life 53 Snuffleupagus's pal, to Snuffy 54 Bust down the castle door 55 Webzine headquar tered in San Francisco 56 Bedroom comedy, say 57 Troop troupe 58 Comedian who donned many big cos tumes in "The Nutty Professor" 60 Opium lounge 61 She Hate Me director 62 Simple bed 63 Shoe width 64 -speak

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Down 1 Newman's Own beverage 2 Ready and vigilant 3 Goods transported by ship, say 4 Oslo god 5 Have power over 6 Earners of net profits?

7 Tiny parts 8 Rerun's headwear 9 Skips the restaurant atmosphere 10 Program basis for Netscape browsers 11 Alpine cottages 12 Current units 18 Chesterfield containers 19 Schnookums 25 Aviary parts?

26 Throws a grenade 28 Poli ___ 32 Comedian Philips once called "a oneman asylum" 33 How kittens may be transported 34 Horror-inducing Himalayans 36 Boggy area 37 Deli option 38 Offer an opinion with out being asked 39 Pants features 40 Androsterone, for one 42 Acted like a finch 43 Acted like a finch 44 Late-night flights 46 First-person figure 48 Ride to the top of the mountain 50 World-weary 51 Not necessarily wiser, it's said 52 "There's ___ in 'T-E-A-M'!"

56 Mess around (with) 59 "What's up, cow?" response Answers pg. 10

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SHE-roes!

• Maya Angelou •

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

I'm taking a risk with the message I have for you this week. My intention is not to flatter you or inflate your ego, and I know that some of you may be tempted to do just that when you read what I have to say. Please resist that temptation. My advice is not meant to jack up your pride but rather is designed to boost your confidence. I want to impress on you how important it is not to seek solutions to your problems from experts, teachers, or anyone beside yourself. Ready for your assignment? Speak the following sentence 20 times a day for the next week: I am the answer.

65 Prez known for Fireside Chats 66 Smooth sax player Dave who was in Arsenio's late-night band 67 Deg. that's all about teeth

The Gobi Desert in Central Asia is one of the world's biggest and most inhospitable wastelands. Temperatures there range from -40 to 113 degrees Fahrenheit. And yet not far below the endless sand is a vast water table. Well-diggers strike water nine out of ten times they drill. I regard the Gobi as an apt metaphor for your current situation, Libra. While it may be true

How important it is for us to recognize

THE UNIVERSAL JOURNEY OF

DIVA

TOCCARA CASTLEMAN • STAFF WRITER

T

hrough the incorporation of movement, sound and text the film adaptation of AfroSocialiteLifeDiva explores the journey of a family of four black women whose stories become blurred as we see that in actuality each woman is the extension of the other; either through lineage or the un-spoken understanding that they share as a black women.

“Part of the reason I develop story the way I do is because there is not supposed to be a linearity to follow” said, Cynthia Oliver, choreographer of AfroSocialiteLifeDiva. “The blurred lines are intentional because it is the whole point of the story, that mother becomes daughter, sister, kin, self and by the end, they are indistinguishable.That is the intention.”

On last Sunday, Aug. 28, at 3p.m. in the Krannert Art Museum, the dance film AfroSocialiteLifeDiva was screened for an audience of both University students and community members.

“I wasn’t expecting all of this,” said Oliver, as audiences gave a standing ovation after the film premiered.

The film is an autobiographical story of the women in Oliver’s own family.The story is visualized through the perspective of one of the female characters.

The film features choreographed dances, along with monologues that described each woman’s individual journey.

The film begins with a visual of the four women walking with their suitcases down a grass hill.

The first character to have an individual section is “Momma,” whose story is told in an empty house.

Next, there’s Momma’s daughter, “The Holy Roller Named Pimp” whose story is featured in the film’s church scene.

“She was so beautiful, a real head turner that brothers nicknamed her pimp," said Oliver. “It was the only name C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

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PHOTO • DAVID SOLAANA

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AfroSocialiteLifeDiva is screened at the Krannert Art Museum.

IMAGE COURTESY OF DFBGCARDS.COM

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4 •

buzz weekly

coulter

HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL? BETRAYED, BEWILDERED ... WRONG RESPONSE?

first things first

The real history of Labor Day

SE P. 8

•

1 4 , 2 OO5

SEP. 8

•

1 4 , 2 OO5

Introductory Lesson - $7 Sat Sept 10

8-9:30 PM

Followed by Social Dance

MICHAEL COULTER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

past Monday, unless you work in a convenience store, a grocery store, the mall, the police ... um, well, some of us were off on Monday anyway. The little kids and grown-ups in third world countries that make our clothes don’t really call it Labor Day. They just call it Monday, but I digress. I wasn’t really sure what Labor Day was, so I looked it up on the Internet. Sure, I could have gone to the library and did some actual research, but honestly, that seemed like a whole lot of work, especially on Labor Day. Initially, I thought the day may have been created with nothing more in mind than to give hard working Americans a well deserved day off. Of course, I was wrong. Labor Day was created by America’s labor movement to honor our workers in 1884. It’s always the first Monday in September. Having it on Monday makes a lot of sense. Ask any worker what the worst day of the week is and they will tell you Monday. If they had it on Thursday, it would just seem cruel.

25

LEARN TANGO!!

And how our president turns his job into a day off damn near every day, even when he’s really needed

So, most of us were off this

buzz weekly •

SO THIS IS HELL. AND THERE’S A CRUCIFIX IN IT.

Foundations of Tango It’s a good thing they came up with the holiday back in the 1800’s, because it might be a little tough to justify it in modern times.“This day is for the man who scans the bar codes, the woman who sits in a lawn chair on the interstate holding a highway sign, the grocery checkout person who claims to have carpel tunnel syndrome so she can get disability, the overlooked warrior who drags his mouse across his desk in an effort to create a cool pie chart for the next staff meeting.Today, you are honored.”

I’m being a smart ass and I know there are plenty of folk who work their asses off every day, every week, every year. Still, it’s a little hard to argue that as a nation we work as hard as we used to. It starts from the top down. Piss, how many freaking weeks of vacation does our commander in chief get? It took a natural disaster to get him off his lazy, redneck ass this last time.

Even then, he dicked around for a couple of days before he finally gave in and showed some interest in the people down in Louisiana.

I bet they were thankful as hell he finally got off his ass. What did he do? Fly in, take a look around, hold a press conference and fly away.

Yep, he’s working his sack off.“Well, this is really the shits down here. I think I got drunk here

once when I was in college.We won’t forget you folks. I promise when I get back to my vacation home, I’ll tell all the people I’m in charge of to quit screwing around. Have a good one.”

It’s a bad sign when our president doesn’t say he’ll get to work and make things better, but instead says he’ll get someone else on that right away. Harry Truman used to have a sign on his desk that said “The buck stops here!” Maybe Bush should have a new sign made. “The buck starts here…but we have no idea where it stops.”

He’s not alone though.We used to make our own cars, now we just design them and have workers in some other country actually make most of the parts. Same with our clothes. We got tired of working in the fields all day, so now we have Mexicans sneak over to do that kind of thing. Same with washing dishes. They used to say there was a difference between working hard and working smart. Well, we’ve perfected the idea of working smart.We have others do it for us and then take most of the money for it.

On the street, it’s called pimping, but we now we just call it capitalism.

Our country has worked hard for over 200 years and along the way, we’ve found ways to work less. That’s great. I mean, we actually

have weekends now, something that was unheard of a 100 years ago. Back then, a 40hour workweek meant that you only worked three days that week and would be docked for being a slack-assed bastard for the other four days that week. It’s good we don’t have to work as much as we used to, I’m just saying there might be a point of diminishing returns on a Michael Coulter deal like that. is a videographA great majority of us aren’t er, comedian even tired anymore.We’re fatter and sort of a than ever, and research has smart-ass. But shown that. We still try. After we love him anywork, we go running or play way, and don’t tennis or lift weights, because know why. we feel the need to stay in Probably shape. I’m guessing never in the because he’s so history of coal mining has a damn funny. guy got off work and ran five miles. No guy driving railroad spikes for 12 hours a day has went to the health club and power lifted for two hours before dinner. Work used to make us tired, now it just makes us bored.

I know people still work hard. It just seems like we should have more to show for it.

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■ Second Sunday Gallery Tour Guided tour of the exhibition by Timothy van Laar, School of Art + Design, UIUC

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I missed the ball by not talking about Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath last week. But honestly, I was having a hard time gathering my thoughts about it.

I mean, seriously, we’re witnessing the worst American natural disaster in recent memory.

A friend of mine told me that watching the news coverage on the hurricane reminded him of watching the news on Sept. 11 and its aftermath.

He’s absolutely right. All we see is destruction and devestation. One of the country’s most populated and visited cities is completely underwater. Can you imagine Champaign and Urbana being submerged?

Imagine this. The entire populations of Champaign and Urbana are forced to evacuate, but you don’t have any means of leaving. You can’t afford a car, nobody in your extended family has a car, or they just cannot leave their lives to pick up you and your immediate family’s lives. What do you do?

You follow the other unfortunate people into Assembly Hall in hopes that the storm will pass through and not completely level the giant structure holding you and 10,000 other scared shitless people in it.

Unfortunately for everyone, the structural integrity of the roof is compromised, and

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Parkland Theatre Preview • Emily Cotterman Hairstyles of the Damned review • Dan Schuld Artist’s Corner with Adam Dupuis (Th)ink • Keef Knight

THE SILVER SCREEN Hayao Miyazaki: Animation as art • Randy Ma Howl’s Moving Castle review • Paul Prikazsky The Cave review • David Just Movie Time Listings Slowpoke • Jen Sorensen Shades of Gray • Shadie Elnashai Drive Through Reviews

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CLASSIFIEDS

Assembly Hall starts to leak. You and 10,000 other people are then moved out of the building only to find that your entire world is underwater, and there’s almost no hope of getting any of it back.

So now you’re standing around on I-57 where it’s dry, and there’s no food or water to consume.

You’re hot, delerious, and, oh, in the sea that used to be your home town, dead bodies are floating by. But the national government doesn’t seem to be helping so much. As far as I can tell, things could not get much worse.

Now back to news coverage. The massive amounts of destruction cannot be shown on TV. Sure, they show us some, but come on, do you honestly think anyone has any idea of just how horrible it is down there by watching the six o’clock news? Hell no!

And on the topic of news coverage, I’m really pissed off at what I see. There’s looting going on, but the news only shows black people looting. What are the white people doing?

Suffering in silence. BULLSHIT! Everyone is looting.And why are they looting? Because they need food and water. They need shoes to wear.

They need clothes because their lives got washed away in the flood. The racial themes present in what I saw disgusted me.

Anyway, I’m out of space. If you can, donate money. Donate clothes. Donate shoes. People need our help. So please, if you can, help them out. Spare your drinking money for a week and help those who really need it.

- Paul

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IF LIFE HANDS YOU A LEMON, STUFF YOUR BRA WITH IT.

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Benefiting the Josh Gotheil Memorial Fund Thursday, September 29th, 7pm - 12 am

At the Lamba Chi Alpha house between 2nd and 3rd Street on Armory. $10 • T-Shirt • Food* • Drink*

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seth fein

SHOULDN’T YOU BE HOLDING THE CRUCIFIX? IT’S THE PROP FOR MARTYRS.

the local sniff

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F**k this Administration and you - If you support them Please welcome Sarah Michelson to the fold ... She voted for the other guy.

SETH FEIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

FIRST SNIFF (AND I

THIS TIME

-

AM CRYING)

How long is the LIE list that Dubya and Co. accumulated since stealing the Presidency in 2000?

Bush never showed up in the Alabama Air National Guard when directly ordered to do so, after requesting a transfer to work in Alabama. Bush used drugs ‌ a lot. Bush told us there were WMD in Iraq. Bush promised us a swift end to the conflict in Iraq. Bush tells us that race had nothing to do with the lack of support that Katrina victims got last week. Bush...

It goes on and on...

Enough is enough. No more whining. It’s time that we, as a people, did something about what is happening to our country. This administration will go down as the worst in history. Even worse than Hoover’s.

More disgusting than Nixon’s. I know it.You know it.

They know it.

Oftentimes, when you dig a hole that is simply too deep, there is just no possible way to climb out of it, no matter how hard you try.

Some day in the future when justice is served, I imagine Bush, Cheney, Condi, Rumsfeld, Goss and all the others in a trench after their terms are up. I can see their faces: cold, scared, tired, hungry.

They are the children that are starving.They are the mothers dying from AIDS in Africa.They are the indigent left for dead in Iraq. They are the victims of neglect from Hurricane Katrina.

How many lies must we sit through before we truly challenge them? How many faulty decisions? How many people must suffer because of the greed and selfishness of just a few people without dignity?

I do not have the answer. I am just a man in a small town in Illinois. I cannot even begin to fathom what must be done to reverse the course of these actions.

I am hurt that, no matter how much I try to stay positive, I am forced to reconcile with the fact that this world is truly crumbling before my very eyes. Between the weather, the wars, the lack of compassion and the hatred, I know that we are in trouble.Very real trouble.

HERE’S A JUMPSTART - LOCALLY...

As cheesy as this may sound, I try to wake up every day and find something or someone to hold on to.

Something that I know will make a difference. What can you do? I have an idea.

This was sent to me by a friend and it pertains to the very nucleus of our current problems. It is called The Shawna Morrison Education Fund. I’ll let you read from here: “Shawna was a faithful and well-loved employee of several local establishments including the Hideaway, the Great Impasta, and Radio Maria. She was a longterm soldier-joined the Army while she was a junior in high school-served in the first Gulf maelstrom (Desert Storm? Desert Shield? whatever) and joined the Guard when her term was up because she wanted to continue both her education and her national service. Despite repeated instances where the Army/Guard held her already earned tuition money, Shawna continued to serve, and, though she was terrified and did not necessarily feel the Guard should be used for such maneuvers, dutifully went to Iraq

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

when her unit was activated last January. She was killed on 5 September 2004 when her barracks was attacked by mortar fire outside Baghdad. She was 26 years old and was, according to the New York Times count based on the defense departments release of names, U.S. military casualty number 983.

In response to Shawna's death, her coworkers at Radio Maria created a scholarship fund-The Shawna Marie Morrison Memorial Scholarship Fund to be exact-in hopes that we could help some other teenager who, like Shawna, felt that military service was their only choice in financing an education. And here's where you come in: We will be hosting a benefit wine-tasting on Sept. 12 at Radio Maria from 7 to 10 p.m. You can taste nine wines from many different wine distributors. In addition, we will have a silent auction that will include works from local artists, fancy wine and many other things. For a mere $5, anyone can participate.

All proceeds will go directly to the scholarship fund.

Life is not about pouting or about not doing the things that are fun and enjoyable. I will admit that over the last week, I have had some difficulty trying to enjoy all that my life has to offer because of my brothers and sisters in the Gulf Coast. But we cannot change what has been done.

The best we can do is try to help out.This is a very easy way if you are not up for volunSeth Fein is from teering your time or giving a Urbana. It’s about straight cash donation. No doubt, time he got a it will be a time to be joyous, to break. Some of the celebrate a true American’s life kids on OB.com and also, a time to reflect on what were starting to is most important. make wisecracks

about his garbage F INAL W HIFF (I HAVE cans! Oh yeah. He DRIED MY EYES) was really hurt by It should be worth noting that one. He can be reached at that I am a little spent these sethfein@ days. I have been working like a hotmail.com. mad man and I need a bit of a break. So, for the time being, I will be only writing a column every other week instead of every week. I know, I know - I am sorry. But hey, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. And this man felt pretty strongly about this next idea.

We need more of a female perspective here at Buzz, don’tcha think? I certainly do.The editor is a man.The two columists are men.The music editor is a man. Sure, we have women who work here and even ones who are editors. But we need more female perspective. And that is why I made the push and got my ol’ high school nemesis-cum-adulthood pal Sarah Michelson in on the ground floor for a bi-weekly column. We went to the same grade school and the same high school and had the same weighted English class with Mr. Stoia. And man did we go at it. Intellectually, that is. Her and her friends were WAY out of my league.

She’ll being doing the local sniff every other week for a while, until I get myself a little more time for the things that are important to me. I will return to doing a weekly soon enough - but in order for her to stay on as a columnist, you are going to have to show your support. Write in and tell us how much you love her.

Or better yet - how much you hate her. One way or the next, we have gotta make room for her, because to be honest, she is twice the writer Coulter and I will ever be. So be sure to read “The Sniff � next week. It’ll be worth it. s o u n d s

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IF LOVE IS BLIND WHY IS LINGERIE SO POPULAR?

buzz weekly •

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DOWNTOWN CHAMPAIGN UNITES FOR

HURRICANE

RELIEF Have a drink for Hurricane Relief

-RLQ XV WKLV 7KXUVGD\ 6HSWHPEHU IRU D +DSS\ +RXU WR EHQHÂżW relief efforts. Match what you spend in donations to the American Red Cross and participating bar owners will donate a portion of WKHLU SURFHHGV IRU WKH QLJKW -RLQ XV DW DQ\ RQH RI WKHVH ÂżQH locations in Downtown Champaign:

6pm 7pm 8pm 9pm 10pm

Blind Pig Farren’s Barfly Esquire Lounge Mike & Molly’s

120 N Walnut St 308 N Randolph St 120 N Neil St 106 N Walnut St 105 N Market St

Donate at Downtown Businesses Several Downtown Champaign businesses are acting as donation points, collecting money for the Hurricane Katrina Relief fund of the American Red Cross. For a list of donation points, visit www. donatechampaign.org.

Shop / Eat / Drink for Hurricane Relief A number of Downtown Champaign businesses are donating a percentage of their sales to the American Red Cross, so you can enjoy the culture of Downtown Champaign’s bars, restaurants and shops, and make a difference by providing Hurricane Relief. For a list of participating businesses, visit www.donatechampaign.org.

More Downtown Fundraisers Champaign County Hurricane Response Drive: Fri, Sep 9 Hot Diggity Jazz-a-Thon: Sat, Sep 10, Noon-6pm, Hot Diggity %DUĂ€\ )XQGUDLVHU 6DW 6HS %DUĂ€\ Donate School Supplies to: Ward and Associates, 8 E Main

Or, Donate Directly to the American Red Cross www.redcross.org

Thank you to Illini Media Company for their generous advertising donation.

For more information on fundraising efforts, visit:

www.donatechampaign.org s o u n d s

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BREAKBEATS Drum ‘n’ bass music comes to Nargile Lounge, pg. 10

The beer with caffeine, ginseng, guarana and a crisp refreshing taste that gives the night a whole new spin. budextra.com

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