Buzz Magazine: Oct. 20, 2005

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R 3 HOU NG MI O C E HOM !!! BASH

pgu pregame is back... and better then ever • Free Food & Drink • Live Music • Meet WPGU Staff • Games & Prizes • Fear Factor • Football Tix • Win Tix To Fall Out Boy, 11/19 at Assembly Hall

FREE PASSES EVERY WEEK

Saturday, Oct. 21st 3pm - 6pm at the NW Corner of First & Kirby

- Thurs. @ Pia’s 8 - 10pm - Fri. @ Brothers 4 - 7pm

Buy one Pizza, Get one

FREE

Coupon Required Expires 12/15/05. Offer good for a limited time at participating Papa John’s restaurants only. Additional toppings extra. Not valid with any other coupons or discounts. Limited delivery area, charges may apply customer responsible. for all applicable fees.

Coupon Required

2 Medium 2-Toppings

$11.99

Expires 12/15/05. Offer good for a limited time at participating Papa John’s restaurants only. Additional toppings extra. Not valid with any other coupons or discounts. Limited delivery area, charges may apply customer responsible. for all applicable fees.

4 Medium 1-Toppings

$19.99

Coupon Required Expires 12/15/05. Offer good for a limited time at participating Papa John’s restaurants only. Additional toppings extra. Not valid with any other coupons or discounts. Limited delivery area, charges may apply customer responsible. for all applicable fees.

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s o u n d s f r o m t h e s c e n e FREE

w e e k l y

got pre game?

champaign . urbana

*Carryout Special*

Medium 1-Topping

Stay Smart Study with the Papa!

$5.49

Large 1-Topping

$6.49

Coupon Required Expires 12/15/05. Offer good for a limited time at participating Papa John’s restaurants only. Additional toppings extra. Not valid with any other coupons or discounts. Limited delivery area, charges may apply customer responsible. for all applicable fees.

URBANA & CAMPUS 1307 E. Florida Ave. (E ast of G oodwin A ve .)

384-7272

CHAMPAIGN & CAMPUS *OPEN LATE* 106 E. Green St. (West of Goodwin Ave. to East of Prospect Ave.)

355-5858

CHAMPAIGN 2104 W. Springfield Ave. (West of Prospect)

351-7272

Better Ingredients. Better Pizza. DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE CONCERT REVIEWED

USE US! OR AT LEAST THE CALENDAR TO PLAN YOR LIFE

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY KILLS

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buzz weekly

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I TRIED TO MAKE SPRITE AT HOME ONCE ...

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Cover Design • Nikita Sorokin Editor in chief • Paul Wagner Art Director • Claire Napier Copy Chief • Emily Wahlheim Music • Kyle Gorman Arts • Constance Beitzel Film • Andrew Vecelas Community • Erin Scottberg Calendar • Todd Swiss Photography Editor • Austin Happel Designers • Brittany Bindrim, Nikita Sorokin, Obumneme Asota, Allie Armstrong Calendar Coordinators • Cassie Conner, Photography • Austin Happel Copy Editors • Sarah Goebel, Ruth McCormack, Dan Petrella Staff Writers • Todd Swiss, Paul Prikazsky, Syd Slobodnik, Beth Dillman, Todd J. Hunter Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein Production Manager • Meredith Niepert Sales Manager • Anna Rost Marketing/Distribution • Louis Reeves III Publisher • Mary Cory

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e-mail: buzz@readbuzz.com

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We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

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First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50

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© Illini Media Company 2005

EDITOR’S NOTE

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PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

October

and March are the best months of the year. I know I’ve said this before, but I think it needs to be reiterated. The baseball playoffs are awesome. Football, college and professional, just makes me happy. It brings people together. Grown men cover their bodies in paint, get drunk, tailgate and cheer like college kids again. USC plays Notre Dame in one of the best games in recent memory. Big Ten Football. The World Series! But I’m sorta pissed off at the World Series. Why? Because it’s so hard to get tickets. It’s finally back in Chicago, and I wanted to buy tickets. My ultimate goal was to buy four, use two and sell the others, hopefully turning quite the hefty profit – in the thousands.Yes, that’s a shitty reason to buy tickets, but college is expensive, dammit. And I couldn’t get tickets anyway. My roommate and I were sitting with our laptops, waiting on the Ticketmaster site for the clock to strike noon Tuesday, but we completely failed in our attempts. No tickets were available. For any game. We couldn’t even get single tickets. You could, however, buy 2006 Sox season tickets and be guaranteed a World Series ticket I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

Jim Yoshii Pile-Up interview • Imran Siddiquee Death Cab for Cutie concert review • Kyle Gorman Sound Ground #97 • Todd J. Hunter Senses Working Overtime • Kyle Gorman Sam Ashworth review • Jaron Birkan Parasol charts

ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT

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call: 217.337.3801

LISTEN, HEAR

| 15 - 17 |

TALK TO BUZZ write: 57 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820

INDEX

AROUND TOWN

MAIN EVENT

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Parkland Theatre Preview • Emily Cotterman Hairstyles of the Damned review • Dan Schuld Artist’s Corner with Adam Dupuis (Th)ink • Keef Knight

THE SILVER SCREEN Serenity review • Randy Ma Saraband review • Syd Slobodnik Domino review • Paul Prikazsky Movie Time Listings Slowpoke • Jen Sorensen

THE STINGER Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney Doin it Well • Kim Rice & Kate Ruin Free Will Astrology

CLASSIFIEDS

for this year, but season tickets were almost $1,000. I actually thought about buying them, though, because I could probably have sold the single ticket for close to $1,000, but I definitely don’t want season tickets for the Sox, I’d only use the for the Cubs vs. Sox games. Anyway, October is great, but I think the U of I needs to give students a fall break. Sure, we get a week off around Thanksgiving, but that’s not really a break so much as a week to prep for the intense cramming and insane projects that have to be done in the two weeks before finals staring you in the face upon your return. Most other schools give students a break right around now, and I think that’s a pretty sweet deal. I’m worn out. Apathy is kicking in. And I want a break. I’m sure I wouldn’t be the only one to think so. - Paul Buzz is running a Holiday Guide/ Spotlight/Issue in December, and I think it would be cool for readers to give us gift ideas, fun things to do around town, travel suggestions and/or recipes to be showcased in that issue. E-mail any suggestions to buzz@readbuzz.com. Also, if you haven’t already found out, we’re putting out a Best of Champaign-Urbana issue, and your votes will determine the winners.Vote online at readbuzz.com or vote in ballot form in the Buzz and the DI. Comments will be printed, if you so choose, so make them funny.And write to me! I’d love to hear your thoughts on, well, everything. s o u n d s

509 Bash Court, C.

PHONE: 217/337-8337 DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

Cover Story! Books for Prisoners • Erin Scottberg In Your Words with Hazen Jaber The Local Sniff • Seth Fein Vote for Best of Champaign Urbana!

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INTRO

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APARTMENTS

This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening First Things First • Michael Coulter

Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

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• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

Employment 000 010

HELP WANTED Full Time

Female figure models wanted. Online contact victoriasphoto.com

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HELP WANTED Part Time

Part- time waitress/ bartendress. Evenings. Tod & John’s, Bar & Grill. Call 398-1546 to set interview.

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HELP WANTED Full/Part Time

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

1005 S. SECOND, C

Fall 2006. Efficiencies. Secured building. Private parking. Laundry on site, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

1006 S. 3RD, C.

August 2006. 1 & 2 bedrooms. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 101 S. Busey, U. 1 bedroom apartment with

Earn $5000 as an egg donor. Must be 20-29 and a non-smoker. Please call Alternative Reproductive Resources at 773-327-7315 to learn how you can help a family fulfill its dreams.

Apartments

400 410

APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished

PAID UTILITIES!

Living room, eat-in kitchen, porch, parking, laundry, facilities, air conditioning, furnished. August 2006. www.mhmproperties.com 337-8852

106 DANIEL, C.

For August 2006. 1, 2 & 4 bedroom apartments. Ethernet available. Some townhouses. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

111 E. Chalmers, C.

1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $545 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking. Fall 04, 367-6626

August 2006. 1 bedrooms. Furniture, skylights, off-street parking, laundry. Office at 309 S. First. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

105 E. JOHN

503- 505- 508 E. White

Available Fall 2006. 1 bedroom furnished, great location. Includes parking. Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup95.com Available Now 1 bedroom $385 Campus. 367-6626 Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550 per month. 367-6626. BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480. 1 Br. $370 2 BR. $470 3 BR. $750 4 BR $755 Campus. 367-6626.

Fall 2006. 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kyle, 202-7240. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

506 E. Stoughton, C.

For August 2006. Extra large efficiency apartments. Security building entry, complete furniture, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

dailyillini.com 420

APARTMENTS Furnished

RATES:

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

Billed rate: 35¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 28¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free. Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

WESTGATE • Clean 1 & 2 Bedrooms • Dependable, 24hr. maintenance • 24 Hour Courtesy

Gate House

APARTMENTS • Superior management • Short-term Leases (limited availability) • Free Parking • On Busline

359-5330 359-5330

Hours: M-F 9-5 • www.westgateapts.net s o u n d s

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APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

203 S. SIXTH

Fall 2006 Great 3 bedrooms, near 6th and Green. Fully furnished, microwaves and dishwashers. Off-street parking. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Fall 2006. Location!! 3, 4 bedroom, 2 bath THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

509 E. White, C.

Fall 2006 Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup.com 352-3182

August 2006. Large 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

509 Stoughton

Near Grainger, Spacious studios and 2 bedrooms, ethernet, parking. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

602 E. Stoughton

Fall 2006. Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet, and parking available. Must see!! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

307 & 310 E. WHITE 307 & 309 CLARK

APARTMENTS

430

Unfurnished Semester leases Now pre-leasing for January. 1 and 2 bedroom apartments and 2 bedroom townhomes. Great rates , quite location, on the busline, pet friendly. Call 356-4012

SUBLETS

440

605 S. Fifth, C.

440

Quiet, clean, furnished studio apartment at Fourth & Green, Sublet 12/18/05 thru May or Aug ‘06. Parking available, rent negotible. 847951-3976. Spacious 2 bedroom, $400/mo, available immediately. 649-1201. Sublet Available Spring/Summer. Dishwasher, laundry, $630/mo. 2 BR (815)954-9800

Other Rentals 500 HOUSES

510

2 bedroom and 7 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2004. 367-6626.

Available Spring, Summer, and Fall ‘06

5 BEDROOM HOUSE • 3 mins. from campus • 20 ft. from bus! • Free parking! • Free wireless internet! N E W LY LED REMODE

604 E. White, C.

Security Entrance For Fall 2006, Large 1 bedroom, 2 bedroom, loft (HUGE), furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

SUBLETS

Spring ‘06 only $350/mo per room. Only $1500/ mo for ENTIRE house Fall ‘06!! 10 Month lease available! Schedule a showing before it’s gone! (708)699-7311 BTPManagement@gmail.com

MUST SUBLET! Spacious 1 bedroom, Savoy. Dishwasher, washer/dryer central A/C. Pets OK. $675. 217-485-3102

HOUSES

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510

Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2850 367-6626 Furnished 5 bedroom house. Available August 2006. 311 W. Green St. W/D, 2 bath, dishwasher, back yard, fence, and deck. $1800/mo. 4934729. Furnished 5 bedroom houses on campus near Ohio and Lincoln and Stoughton and Sixth for Fall ‘06. Call 356-1407.

4 Bedroom

308 1/2 W. William, C August 2006 Furnished, 4 BR, 2 bath, living room kitchen, rec room, dining room, sunporch, 2 car garage, fireplace, A/C, dishwasher, washer/dryer. www.mhmproperties.com 337-8852

ROOMS

530

1 BR in 4 BR apartment. $350/mo, includes all utilities. 367-6626.

ROOM & BOARD

540

www.couch.coop. Private room, internet, diverse, $255, consensus, home.

ROOMMATE WANTED 550 $375/mo all included. 352-1704. 1 bedroom, near campus $300 per month 367-6626

cuCalendar.com

Fall 2006 5th and Green location Outdoor activity area. 1, 2, 3 bedrooms available. Garage off-stret parking. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

GREAT VALUE

DEADLINE:

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

buzz weekly •

I DON’T THINK WE NEED TO RESORT TO THE BLACK ARTS TO KEEP OUR HORMONES IN CHECK.

THE

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306-308-309 White August 2006. 1 & 3 Bedroom furnished apts. Balconies, patios, luandry, dishwashers, off-street parking, ethernet available. 841-1996. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

HEALEY COURT APARTMENTS

307-309 Healey Court. Fall 2006. Behind Gully’s. 2 & 3 bedrooms. Ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

left off the dial

JOHN STREET APARTMENTS

58 E. John August 2006. Two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwashers, center courtyard, on-site laundry, central air, ethernet available. Call Andy at 369-2621. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Old Town Champaign

510 S. Elm Available Fall 2006. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, furnished, W/D, central air/heat, off street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. $595/mo. 841-1996. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

207- 211 JOHN

Fall 2006. Prime Campus Location. 2, 3, & 4 Bedrooms. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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free will ASTROLOGY ARIES

Oct. 20 - Oct. 26

(March 21-April 19)

"Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough for the Two of Us," is the title of a song by the band My Chemical Romance. If you'd like to place yourself in alignment with cosmic rhythms, you should say the exact opposite of that to someone you care about--something like this: "Honey, this mirror is big enough for the two of us, and I want us to gaze into it together." In other words, enlist a loved one to join you in taking an inventory of your relationship. Study how you fit together, and brainstorm about how you can make your connection work even better.

TAU RU S

(April 20-May 20)

Curses abound. When we're children, our parents and relatives manipulate us into being different from what we naturally are. As we grow up, teachers and coaches regularly remind us of how we're not living up to their expectations. Meanwhile, the news media assaults us with relentless propaganda about how nasty and brutish life is, and storytellers in the entertainment industry barrage us with visions of the worst aspects of human nature. Finally, our enemies slip us their own unique brands of maledictions. That's the bad news, Taurus. The good news is that you now have unprecedented power to defuse the curses that have been cast on you. Follow your intuition to cleanse yourself of their insidious influence.

GEMINI

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THESE ARE O.R. SCRUBS ... OH, ARE THEY?

(May 21-June 20)

Brazil's Ryoki Inoue may not be the best novelist in the world, but he's definitely the most prolific. He averages about 100 new works of pulp fiction every year. On one particularly creative day, it took him eight hours to churn out an entire 195-page story about crooked cops and drug dealers. He's your role model for the coming week, Gemini. Whatever your field of endeavor is, try to supercharge your productivity. The astrological omens suggest that not only can you do so, but also that it will be good for you to do so. Your other role model is Marcel Proust, who was one of history's *best* novelists. Be as fast as Inoue and as brilliant as Proust.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

Five years ago, artist Dale Chihuly shipped 64 tons of Alaskan ice to Jerusalem. He used it to erect a giant wall in the place where the Arab and Jewish sections of the city joined. The desert heat melted his preposterous construction in three days. Treat this as an apt symbol for a situation that's going on in your vicinity, Cancerian. There is an improbable barrier between two parts of your life that should be connected. That barrier has now begun to collapse at a rapid rate, and will be gone soon as long as you and yours don't make a foolish attempt to try to shore it up.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

Medieval language expert Alexandra Gillespie writes that "English is a bastard tongue, an unruly mix of corrupted Latin, AngloSaxon, French (in particular Middle Norman), Brythonic and Goideleic Gaelic, Welsh, and other forms of the Celtic tongues." In other words, the most widely used language on the planet was cobbled together from a hodgepodge of disparate influences. I hope that inspires you, Leo, to take full advantage of the mishmash you're nurturing. As you borrow and patch, appropriate and blend, scavenge an integrate, be mindful of the rich potentials inherent in your hybrid creation.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

It's high time for you to lose control--in the most constructive way possible, please. You can no longer afford to be as tightly wound as you've been lately. To get yourself in the mood for breakthroughs that will prevent breakdowns, consider carrying out some of the following acts. Fingerpaint on your TV screen. Dance on your bed, imitating a black bear that has drunk a bottle of vodka. Ask an intimate friend to use lipstick to write "I am inscrutable" on your belly. Have dinner with a person who makes you uncomfortable in an interesting way. Buy a bull penis walking stick at Bumsteer.com and use it on a stroll to the corner store. Write candid confessional letters to people from whom you've been hiding an important truth, but don't mail the letters.

Market at the Square Every Saturday Morning thru Nov. 12 SE Lot of Lincoln Square Downtown Urbana (217) 384-2319 kalarson@city.urbana.il.us

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

In the estimation of many fashionistas, Libran rock singer Gwen Stefani is a style queen. The New Yorker recently put her on the cover of its fashion supplement, and she's at the top of many best-dressed lists. She doesn't fully enjoy the fruits of her success, though. "I still think of myself as a fat little dorky kid from Orange County desperately wanting to be cool," she told OK magazine. If Stefani called me up for a consultation right now, I'd tell her what I'll say to you: This is a perfect astrological moment to use your willpower, your imagination, and your sense of humor to shed your old self-images--especially those that are acutely at odds with the reality of the person you have become.

To be completely aligned with cosmic rhythms in the coming weeks, you'd arrange for rose petals to be thrown at you each time you opened a door. A gourmet cook would provide a steady stream of tastes you've never experienced before. A great band or chamber orchestra would come to your home to play for the best par ty you've ever thrown. A friend would read you stories that deepened your appreciation for how courageous you've been in dealing with your own struggles. And you would enlist the ser vices of your own royal fool, who'd be responsible for telling you jokes, identifying incongruities, and keeping you flexible.

SCORPIO

AQUARIUS

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

I used to have a Scorpio friend who liked to spout the ecstatic mystic poetry of Rumi. (Sometimes he added his own rapturous improvisations, and so I was never sure where Rumi left off and his words began.) Since you're currently in a phase when the potential for euphoric release and delirious catharsis are high, I've selected five of these quotes that are in alignment with your astrological omens. (1) "Close your eyes and see with your other eyes." (2) "If you want to be held, open up your arms." (3) "Quit acting like wolves and let the shepherd's love fill you." (4) "We're not here to seek approval but disgrace and celebration." (5) "Let the beauty you love be what you do."

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec.21)

I suggest you find a way to study the behavior of predators without exposing yourself to danger. You'll really benefit from being in an impregnable safety zone as you take a close look at creatures that are dominated by their lust for power. Why? Knowing more about these types will allow you to protect yourself from them in the future, especially if there ever comes a time when you're not so well- insulated. And right now is the per fect astrological moment to study them risk-free.

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

You cannot possibly accomplish anything good by force right now. Your strengths may temporarily become liabilities, and you'll have to exercise your talents with profound humility in order to keep from going astray. To achieve success, you've got to renounce all your definitions of success and open your mind to previously unimaginable new definitions. You also must become as fluid as a water snake, as sensitive as a psychotherapist advising a beloved patient, and as free as a woman who has just given birth.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

"Who can convince the sea to be reasonable?" asks poet Pablo Neruda in The Book of Questions. Here's my answer: If anyone can do it, you can. For the next two weeks, your powers of persuasion will be almost supernaturally strong. Furthermore, you'll be able to achieve a mind meld with elemental forces of nature like wind, fire, and rivers. Further furthermore, you'll have the power to achieve a state of such transcendental lucidity that you will flirt with the ability to see things the way the Goddess does. I hereby dub you the sea whisperer.

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OCTOBER 29 ~ Pumpkin painting, coloring, drawing, carving!

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Homework: What pose would it be a big relief for you to drop? In what part of your life are you faking, and what could you do to escape that bind? Testify at www.freewillastrology.

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From ashes to ... diamonds? How to turn your dead family into fashionable pieces of jewelry. No, this isn’t a joke

I’ve

always made the joke that when my parents die I will have some tough decisions to make, mostly with my mother. They’ve both decided to be cremated, which I think is a pretty good idea. The ashes, though, are another concern. Dad should be pretty simple. He was always happiest when he was hunting, so I figure I could scatter his remains on the field behind our old house. I know when my mother was happiest also, but I’m not sure what sort of policy Target has on dumping the remains of a loved one near a 50 percent-off rack. It’s always weighed on my mind. Well, happily, that’s no longer a concern for me. I ain’t dumping my folks anywhere. Instead, I will wear pieces of them all over my body. It’s not as gross as it sounds. I won’t be using Dad’s pancreas as a winter scarf or Mom’s femur as a walking stick. Nope, as they say in the country, I’m gonna make them into something real pretty. A diamond of my very own. What? You might ask. A diamond? Is Mr. Coulter actually screwier than we’d initially thought? Well … um, yes, he is screwier than you initially thought, but that diamond thing is for real. A company called LifeGem has come up with a way to turn just eight ounces of remains into a yellow or blue diamond. Ah yes, the yellow and blue diamond, the most sought-after of fine, afterlife gems. Apparently, they do this using “super hot ovens.”Yeah, um, LifeGem, it’s been a while since I had art class, but I think those are called kilns ... also, I believe the “n” is silent. It makes me wonder, has our nation finally hit the point of diminishing returns on coming up with new ideas? So, anyway, for something between $2,000 and $20,000, you can have yourself a sweet-ass little ring made from the charred remains of a loved one, a handy little artifact on your finger to constantly remind you of your crushing loss, or simply to accent a dressy hand bag. Forget “ashes to ashes,” it’s now ashes to jewelry! Don’t be afraid to get greedy about this either. There’s enough carbon in an average body to make 20 or so diamonds.Well piss, forget about the inheritance and all the tax problems that go along with it. I’d much rather take this opportunity of grief to speculate on the diamond market. Sure it’s still the “yellow and blue” diamond market, but you never know. If enough family members died in a short enough

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*All prices plus tax, title, license & doc fee to qualified buyers. Employee prices is not a manufacturer sponsored program. See dealer for specific details.All incentives applied.Actual photos/illustrations of some vehicles not available at press time. Dealer is not responsible for errors in this ad.Ad expires 3 days from pub. s o u n d s

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time, you could conceivably corner the market. Plus, there are enough ashes left over to allow you to get the closure of scattering your loved ones somewhere. Let me tell you this, my friend, you will surely cut a much more striking figure during the scattering with a big-ass diamond ring on your finger.“Oh, yes, these are my father’s ashes. I’m scattering them in his favorite park. If, for some reason, this park ever closes, not to worry, I’ve still got a huge freaking diamond to remember him by.” If nothing else, it should make for an interesting will. “To my son, I leave my grandfather in diamond form; to my daughter, I leave her mother, also in diamond form.” Dean VandenBiesen, a vice president of LifeGem (even though it should really be DeathGem) proved he’s mastered the obvious when he pointed out “It’s not for everyone … I’m so excited about this. In the field of death care, when somebody says ‘I’m really excited about this,’ I think we’ve achieved what we wanted to do which is change the culture of death.” Wow, spoken like a man whose career has really taken a turn for the worse. Like anything, I just hope it doesn’t veer off into a creepy area. If the idea catches on, funeral home directors could feel the financial pressure. I’d just hate to see relatives of deceased people offing themselves just to save a couple of bucks on the two for one discount burials. Plus, turning ashes into diamonds can’t be good for the decorative urn business. I think the area that could really open up is taxidermy. Let’s face it, no one wants to have a loved one stuffed and on permanent display. First of all, they take up too much room and second of all they really sort of creep people out. Still, if you could save someone on a more piecemeal basis there might be some demand. Why does it have to be a fancy-smancy diamond? Having fuzzy dice slung over your rearview mirror is sort of funny, but having the dried testicles of a close relative slapping against your windshield is a real conversation starter. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I think a simple memory might really still be the best way to go when it comes to dealing with grief.When I think of my father, I’d much rather remember the two of us talking about baseball. It beats the alternative of thinking about him because he’d go really great with that new pair of pants I got. Coulter is a videographer, comedian and all around smart-ass, but people still dig him. We don’t really know why, but it’s probably because he’s so damn funny. That and he wears kick-ass headwear, like his hat.

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michael coulter FIRST THINGS FIRST

~ Free goodies for kids! ~ To guarantee a free goodie bag, call (217) 384-2319 or email kalarson@city.urbana.il.us

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We who live in prison, and in whose lives there is no event but sorrow , have to measure time by throbs of pain , and the record of bitter moments .

kim rice & kate ruin DOIN’ IT WELL

Penile pill-pushers

Oscar Wilde • British Author

Love what your momma gave ya

jonesin CROSSWORD PUZZLE

theme: Who moved my cheese? Insanity in the dairy section

BARRED FROM KNOWLEDGE?

ILLUSTRATION • BRITTANY BINDRIM

UC Books to Prisoners

ERIN SCOTTBERG • STAFF WRITER

I

n the old Urbana post office, a new delivery service has taken over. Instead of general mail, this organization has a more specific task. From a small room in the unfinished basement of the brown brick building, volunteers periodically gather to read a few letters and wrap up some packages. The letters are from prisoners. The packages are filled with books. UC Books to Prisoners, a nascent organization under the umbrella of the Urbana-Champaign Independent Media Center, was established on a simple concept: spread free knowledge to individuals who are, literally, barred from it. Adam Davis started the project in early 2004 after being inspired by the Indiana-based Pages to Prisoners organization. Pages to Prisoners gave Davis 50 letters as starting material. As volunteer Sarah Lazare recalled, “He just started answering the letters and then pretty soon word started spreading around the prison.” From there “it picked up momentum and word just spread.” The process is straightforward. First, prisoners write to Books to Prisoners with a request. Of course, before using the service, the inmates must know the program exists at all. As helper Max Beshers commented, “We don’t advertise at all, it’s just by wordof-mouth.” Knowledge of the program has spread though, as about eight to 10 letters are received each week. The appeals vary in length, some are pithy, while others are several pages. Some want specific works while others ask for writings from general genres and topics. One of the numerous volunteers

will then scour the burgeoning library for a match. Scanners are Books to Prisoner’s library are posted here. A person can purchase being implemented to register the books and compile a database, this book, or if he or she has it on hand and doesn’t mind parting in order to facilitate the searches. with it, drop it off at or ship it to the IMC, where it will be Inquiries range from pop novels to advanced textbooks, from the promptly sent to the prisoner. common to the distinct. Love poems, anatomy, extraterrestrial life, The shipping costs and other operating expenses are paid for cultural history, dictionaries and horror are just a few of the types by periodic book sales. The next one will be this Saturday, Oct. 22 of entreaties. at Lincoln Square Mall. It is a vital event as it is meant to cover Another volunteer Jay Schubert said that, quite often, the overhead for the subsequent year. inmates’ requests are matched perfectly. “It’s amazing actually Recently, and as planned over the summer, Books to Prisoners when we sort the books, how often there’s just this amazing began a new phase of operation: the development and expansion serendipity where [we have] the exact book they ask for,” he said. of book collections or libraries within the actual jails and prisons. The process is more personal than just filling appeals for prose. “We brought about 1,500 books to the downtown jail, which For the inmates, this is a chance to communicate with the outside previously had about a couple hundred romance novels that were world, to have an exchange with another person. falling apart,” Schubert said. “We started a lending library, staffed Schubert mentioned that in their requests, the inmates often with volunteer librarians from the community.” The experienced “talk about things going on in their lives, things they’re interested librarians work with regular volunteers, servicing the inmates in … we answer their letters with a personal letter and package up face-to-face. three or four books …” In addition to all this, the group publishes a zine titled “Words Authorities have been favorable to the project. “The local through Bars.” Edited by Lazare, the publication features poetry, sheriff ’s department and local jails have been very accepting and illustrations and short essays by prisoners. The creations span the welcoming of these developments,” Schubert said. “We work with emotional spectrum of incarceration. The themes touch upon the the services coordinator, Nancy Griffin. She’s been very accom- melancholy of loneliness, the frustration of systematic subjugation modating and encouraging.” and the regret of wasted possibility. However, some prisons do prevent certain subjects from reachOne prisoner writes,“the bars / cast shadows on my cell wall / ing the inmates’ hands. Content containing erotic imagery or scar my soul, / freedom will remove the shadows / but the other,/ homosexuality has occasionally been blacklisted. I don’t know ...” The library, meager at first, has expanded rapidly. So many Another pens,“As you lie on your bunk in your cell, your ears books have been donated, Schubert said, that they only put about will be bombarded by a constant, nonstop cacophony of people one in seven on their shelves. They take the highest quality and screaming, yelling, arguing, banging on doors, walls, beds, boxes, most fitting donations. The others are sold to the public at a sinks, toilets and floors. People … will be talking to themselves, fundraiser or donated en masse to the jails. smearing feces on their walls and on their bodies, mutilating them“It’s quite a luxury to be able to [have so many books] and have selves, and even committing suicide.” that much support from the community,” Schubert said. In his “Autobiography as Told to Alex Haley,” Malcolm X The books can be donated via collection bins in various locations wrote of reading in prison, “You couldn’t have gotten me out of including Strawberry Fields, the books with a wedge … Illinois Disciples Foundation, [With the] reading of WEFT and Pages for All Ages. books, months passed IT’S A REALLY NEAT WAY FOR PEOPLE WHO Larger donations can be made by without my even thinkspecial arrangement. ing about being imprisWANT TO VOLUNTEER. IF YOU ONLY HAVE The organization is propelled oned. In fact, up to 30 MINUTES, YOU CAN ACTUALLY COME IN by the labor of volunteers. The then, I never had been usual meeting time is Saturday so truly free in my life.” HERE, SEE SOME BOOKS THAT LOOK afternoon from 3 to 5 in the Literacy and education INTERESTING TO YOU, PULL THEM DOWN, basement of the newfound renewed Malcolm X. READ THE LETTER, WRITE A RESPONSE, Urbana-Champaign Independent It reformed his life, transMedia Center. forming him from a PACK THEM UP AND SHIP THEM OUT. “It’s a really neat way for peodrug-addicted kid in ple who want to volunteer,” Harlem to an eloquent - Jay Schubert Schubert said. “If you only have orator and national role 30 minutes, you can actually model and icon. While come in here, see some books that look interesting to you, pull Books to Prisoners has only been up and running for a little over them down, read the letter, write a response, pack them up and a year, it is a quiet hope of all of these volunteers that the words of ship them out.” these books can cause a likewise inspiration. If you cannot arrive in person to help out, the project’s Web Ideally, though these people may be physically confined, their site, www.books2prisoners.org has a special request listing board. minds can walk free while exploring the ideas and images, the Particular book requests that are not currently found in the poetry and prose, of the written word. buzz

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Across 1 Part of Fat Albert's line 4 Barq's Famous Olde ___ Root Beer 8 Shirts, blouses and the like 12 Vanished 13 "Ask away" 14 Monogram pt. 15 They're aged in casks 16 Class that requires lit tle effort 17 Partner of McNally 18 Cheese kept out of sunlight? 21 Less foolish 22 Obedience school command 23 Sends out 25 Get the kinks out 27 Like some screams 28 Comedy staple that

goes "splat" 29 South American "supergrain" in health stores 32 Word after "Que" 33 Cheese prepared in a flash? 35 Play opener 38 P.T. Barnum hoax The ___ Mermaid (from the old spelling of a Pacific island) 39 Understand 42 Four on the ground, maybe 44 Laundry list topics 46 Wing 47 Anti-___ hand soap 49 Word preferred over "Eskimo" 50 Cheese that's espe cially overpowering?

53 Monster of a lizard 54 Insurance filing 55 "He makes no friend who never made ___" (Tennyson) 56 Word associated with Bo Bice 57 Sported 58 Train syst. that serves the Hamptons 59 Vampires usually go for it 60 He says "They killed Kenny!" 61 Road map lines: abbr. Down 1 Magician who died on Halloween 2 In one large mob 3 Sycophants 4 "I won't let it get to me"

5 Mario's dinosaur pal 6 1980s Britpop star Alison 7 Letters that look like H 8 Dessert made with sponge cake 9 How well-tuned vehi cles stop 10 Stuff on a baseball bat 11 The clap, e.g. 12 Stopped acting like a kid 13 Olympia Snowe, for one: abbr. 19 Baghdadi, say 20 Feminist prefix for "story" 24 Patty Hearst's kidnap pers, for short 26 Big frilly collars 27 More scared-looking 30 "Science Guy" Bill 31 Word shouted on "Law & Order" 33 Language of many blaxploitation film pimps 34 Like horror movie film scores 35 "Now I've got it!" 36 Trust (in) 37 "Funky Cold Medina" rapper 39 Like intentionally undersized shirts 40 Magazine letter addressees 41 Madonna's adopted Kabbalah name 43 Prefix meaning "one quintillion" 45 The pages of history 47 Common trumpet tun ing 48 Carne ___ 51 "I Ain't Marching Anymore" folk singer Phil 52 Monogram for Tricky Dick 53 Rickey ingredient Answers pg. 13

National art

ists Sam Shaber an will be playi d Anne Heaton ng from 7-1 Tickets are $10.00 each Do 0PM. ors open at 6PM. with proceeds going to the

American Red Cross Wine, beer, sp irits an and the Salvation Army. for purchase. Each d food will be available guest will re complimen ceive a tary glass of Duval-Leroy Champagn e.

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size, particularly asking if pills, herbal remedies, exercises etc., can enhance size and sexual pleasure. We’ve been wondering about this too, because we’ve received an equal number of e-mails with titles like "Enhance your penis size." "Huge Johnson tomorrow," and "How you can improve your sex life." So, it makes sense that we’re continually asked, "Is bigger better?" Concerns about body image can start early in life, and about three-fourths of men get hung up about their penis size at some point. Does size really matter? It depends on who you ask, but it usually matters most to the guy facing fears of being too small. As women, and maybe for some guys, it’s easy to laugh off these types of e-mails. But the reason our in-boxes are getting flooded is that where there is a fear of inadequacy, a market will rise to meet the demand … regardless of if the product does what it says it will or if it's even needed.And who exactly is benefiting from guys’ desire to be hung like a horse, except for the aforementioned penile pill-pushers? So, why the obsession with size? Fact: the average erect penis is 4 to 6 or 5 to 7 inches long, depending on the source of the study. Bottom line: most guys aren’t packing that much more or less than the guy they’re sitting next to.The thing men should know is that smaller flaccid penises grow more than larger ones, so they basically even out when erect. Can the potions advertised in the e-mails help? The answer is no.All those creams, pills and herbal enhancers pitched over the Internet with promises to work magic on the magic stick are crap. Most of the Web sites have disclaimers that state that their claims have not been reviewed by the Food and Drug Administration and individual results may vary.What this really means is that they don’t have to be accountable for product effectiveness. To date, there is nothing recommended or prescribed by professionals to increase penis size.This is probably because there’s no reason to … if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. There are also surgeries available for this purpose, but they aren’t much better. These

surgeries are usually performed by plastic surgeons for aesthetic reasons and the only data we could find evaluates patient satisfaction with the surgery, and is from the surgeons themselves (no bias there, right?). There is one surgery that claims to elongate the penis, but the trade-off is that the extra length comes from severing a ligament responsible for enabling the erection to stay in the upright position. Men who get this surgery may benefit from about a 1-inch enhancement. It is important to be well-researched and to weigh the risks of these surgeries. Some side effects include a slightly larger penis that, when erect, points more toward the floor than the ceiling, or a penis that’s girth has been tampered with that now looks lumpy.And who wants to be called "lumpy?" News flash, penis size does not predict or determine male sexual pleasure. In terms of stimulation and potential arousal for a guy, all penises are created equal. If you’re worried about having a bigger penis in order to please your partner, try using the biggest sexual organ you have — your brain. Talk with your partner, find out what is pleasurable to you both and think about and explore ways to have mind-blowing sex while accepting each other for exactly who you are. All this raises a larger issue of genital self-image, which we’ll get to in a future column. In the meantime ladies and gentlemen, take a look at what your momma gave you and learn to love it. It’s probably not broke and if you try to fix it you may very well just mess it up.

SEX-411 For some guys this continues to be a concern even after they learn that they’re within the range of normal. If it continues to be a source of severe anxiety, it may be time to talk with a trusted therapist or sex therapist to address the underlying issues that could be involved. To find a certified sex therapist in your area visit www.aasect.org However, a general therapist will probably be able to help this too. Good luck! Share your opinions, stories or questions about size! Write to riceandruin@yahoo.com. As professional sex educators we’re here to address your concerns and experiences regarding relationships and sexuality. Get in touch!

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YOU SMELL LIKE GRANDMA.

your WORDS small village near Jerusalem in 1987 and obtained his master’s degree in Civil Engineering from the University of Illinois. Most recently, Jaber has become a realtor for “Coldwell Banker.� Why did you open an international food store?

PHOTO • AUTIN HAPPEL

Originally, I was a student at the U of I and both me and my business partner recognized that many international students would go all the way to Chicago to buy their food products.We thought it might be a good idea to bring Chicago to them. So we opened a small ethnic food store that grew from buying from two to three vendors. Now we buy from more than 50 different vendors across North America. Hazem Jaber stands in front of an aisle of exotic cooking oils at the Harvest International and Gourmet Food store Sunday morning. TATYANA SAFRONOVA • STAFF WRITER

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here is a small crowded store on the corner of Sixth Street and University Avenue. It is sectioned off between two rooms by many aisles and shelves obstruct the windows. The entire world is contained within this tiny maze. It exists on the shelves of the World Harvest food store.There are cheeses from all around the globe; a variety of meats that includes lamb, goat and rabbit; an entire aisle of teas; shelves of jams, jellies, preserves, and honey; cooking supplies and countless varieties of sweets. There are spices, grains, coffees, a whole aisle of crackers and cookies, and even beauty products that include different varieties of soap. And there’s still much more left to explore. Hazem Jaber, 41, and his business partner opened World Harvest in 2000 after owning another international food store for nine years. Jaber arrived in the United States as a student from a

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From which regions do you sell food?

We try to cover almost every single corner in the world. So we have [food] from every continent, let’s put it that way. From Australia, from all over Asia, the oriental part of the world, the Indian part of the world, the Middle Eastern part of the world ‌ Europe.

learn from my customers ‌ I share my knowledge. I learn from some customers and pass the knowledge to others. What foods would you recommend to people who don’t like to go beyond their basics?

There are international things, things like chocolates, and cookies, and tea, and the drink, that’s the easiest part to try. Instead of potato chips, try plantain chips, they give you a different taste.You like to eat regular ‌ Hershey’s chocolates? Try the darker chocolates from Europe. It’s almost like drinking the stronger kind of coffee. By time, you might acquire the taste and then you’ll eat more. You don’t need the milk and the sugar. Just taste the real chocolate. Olive oil and oils in general. We have hundreds of different kinds of oils. Everybody is cooking with oil. There are healthier kinds of oil ‌ We offer tasting parties every Saturday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. and every week we offer above 30 different food items from olives, to cheeses, to olive oils to honey and mustard, and different kinds of dips, and cookies and chocolates. So every week we change. How much do people have to pay to come to these parties?

It’s for free. It’s part of our educational program.We highly believe in educating our customers.The more they know about our products, the more they will buy them.

Where do you find all this variety of produce?

Do these parties happen here in the store?

One big lead to us is our customers ‌ Customers will come, ask and push us to go forward and search for certain items ‌ Our customers are all partners in building our inventory.

Right here. On site. Every Saturday. At the same time, if any customer wants to try something that [I can] open and they can taste, I will immediately do that.

Are there plans for expansion of the store?

Hazem Jaber

There is no thinking of that immediately. But if we find a bigger location, a suitable one, we might have it as a second location in town. We like the location. Being at the edge of the university and the edge of the town, we get the best of the two worlds.

Which country has the best chocolate?

I’d say which continent. The European chocolates. I like those. There are good chocolates in many other parts of the world, but the European chocolates I think are leading ‌ in their taste and goodness.

Do you cook?

Is there anything else you’d like to say to the students and the community?

I know how to cook. ‌ I established, with my business partner, two restaurants in town, Basmati Restaurant, the Indian restaurant, and Jerusalem Restaurant ... But we sold both of them. We don’t own them anymore. However, we learned a lot of cooking in them. And I run an international food market. I love to learn how to cook. So I

We just want the students to know that we have a lot of good things for them. And we love to learn from them. We love to share our experience with them so we welcome them to come in at least for the tasting parties and enjoy some free good samples of foods there and help us serve them better.

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I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

YOU’RE THE STAR OF THE SHOW, SPOTLIGHT OPERATOR!

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seth fein THE LOCAL SNIFF

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DOMINO

And God said “Let there be disappointed Cards fans everywhere!�

tioned Darko, Kelly seems obsessed with cramming as many half-baked ideas and characters into his movies as humanly possible, creating a fragmented storyline that totally loses focus of its ideas, and more importantly, its main character. Director Tony Scott doesn’t help the matter with his schizophrenic cinematography that veers in and out of digital video and film. The flashy editing and abrupt style of the film resemble Scott’s previous effort, Man on Fire. At least there we could tell what was going on and what Denzel was doing. The man who gave us Top Gun is intent on blasting his hyperkinetic style on audiences whether we like it or not. Domino resembles a cutting edge music video more than a linear story.While the innovative style is commendable, Mr. Scott should either lay off the caffeine or stop tripping out on DOMINO • KEIRA KNIGHTLEY psychedelic drugs. As often as the words “revolutionaryâ€? and “originalâ€? are tossed around, Domino is closely akin to True Romance, another Scott film scripted by Quentin Tarantino. However, an accurate appraisal of Domino would link it closer to Oliver Stone’s violent satire, Natural Born Killers. So is Domino totally original? Its satirical elements obviously poke fun at our nation’s obsession with sex, violence and all things Knightley, which is very clever, but ultimately the whacked-out plot ruins a story that should have been brilliant. There’s an opening disclaimer that reads: based on a true story. Sort of. Because the story is nothing more than a glossedover version of reality, the filmmakers have taken certain liberties in telling Domino Harvey’s tale. For example, the real Domino does not look like Ms. Knightley. And wouldn’t

Oh, Coulter - you were SO very off ...

FIRST SNIFF Let is be known that I am NOT a fair-weather fan. Not this year or any year. I am a Cubs fan. And while I know that there are some Cubs fans out there that would say that I am full of shit for stating that I am proud of the Southsiders, I don’t really care. I am proud.They really deserve it and this only goes to show that anything can happen in baseball. Including the Cubbies in 2006. I feel it in my bones.

COULTER - YOU SAD, SAD MAN ... As is stands, the chances of Cards being eliminated from the playoffs are pretty high and Mike Coulter should be crying in a rocks glass down at the the Esquire. But let’s face it. He deserves it. Not for simply being a Cards fan. No. That’s simply too petty. He deserves it because he wrote something in a column recently that was worthy of God striing pain into his blackened, Cardinal-loving heart. He lumped Ann Coulter’s books in with the Bible as worthless, useless, pieces of trash, only good for stabilizing his coffee table.Tsk tsk Coulter. God doth have a sense of humor. But some things just won’t fly.And this was one of them.

FORGET FIRE AND BRIMSTONE Generally speaking, as a Christian, I am not a

Cryptic person. I do not believe that all of these people can truly speak in tongues. Anyone can speak jibberish. Ask my mom how my Pop sounds when Purdue is losing. That sounds the same as the loons who do it in church to scare away potential believers. I also do not believe that priests are given the gift of celibacy when they enter the priesthood. That’s called sexual repression. And we wonder why there are so many scandals facing the church these days? I don’t believe that The Rapture will take place the way some fundamentalists do with a big-ass disappearance of all the “saved� people. God doesn’t play tricks on the world It created.God isn’t out to get us. God is out to see us through. Yeah, I am a hippie at heart. Just like my folks. But dammit if I don’t I believe that Mike might have ruined it for the Cards when he took the Bible and placed it in the same category with Ann’s books.

HERE IS THE REASON ... The Bible is the greatest book ever written. I realize that you could argue that. But I really wouldn’t try. No book has reached and inspired as many people.Whether God is real or if Jesus was, in fact, the Son of God, is kind of irrelevant in the face of its power as a presence in our world. The only real problem (and it’s a big one) is that it has been distorted in order to persecute people, rather than to uplift them, the way it was intended.

Here’s a challenge: Go read the Sermon on the Mount. You can find it in any old Bible in the Gospel of Matthew Chapters five through seven. I am not one to proselytize. And I am certainly not out to evangelize or try to “save� you from yourself or from anyone else, including The Lord of Darkness or The False Prophet. I don’t care whether you are a Christian or not. Do whatever works for you. But, read the Sermon on the Mount.And then try to tell me that it can be argued that it would be unhealthy for anyone to live by those principles. It can’t be argued.Try it.

ANN COULTER IS THE BIGGEST PIECE OF POOP ... She really is. She is an ignorant, careless, selfserving piece of shit (and no, I don’t care that she spoke out against Bush), and I agree with Mike when he says that you can use her crappy books to make a coffee table balance correctly. But her books and the Bible are as different as Cubs fans and Cardinals fans. I don’t need to make another witty analogy here; if you are a Cubs fan you understand what I am talking about. The Bible, if read and interpreted correctly, is here as a roadmap to aid us in good living. And that is all. Belief in Christ is something that develops and then goes away. It gets refurbished and then tarnishes; it’s a constant struggle. But the simple message of the Bible, while difficult and easy at the same time, should be embraced by all of us: to live well - you must treat others with respect, even if they don’t treat you

the same way.You must set out everyday to make a difference in someone else’s life - some one who is less fortunate than yourself. Treat your body with respect and do the same to others. Be a nice fucking person for Christ’s sake. Ann Coulter’s book about Republicans and how to talk to liberals (if you must) or some bullshit is filled with enough crap to fill the toilets in every home throughout the world. She is the epitome of every thing that the Bible speaks against.

FINAL WHIFF I am a Christian.This is true. But I am not sure how to go about calling myself that in the face of the rest of the people out there that call themselves Christians as well. Dick Cheney, Rumsfeld, Ashcroft ‌ Christians? Not with me they’re not. So, what are my options? What do I call myself? Where do I worship and have dialogue? I am not sure of the answer, so I am open to suggestions. But if it involves lifting my hands at a church, I don’t want to be a part of it. I think that church, the way we know it now, is the opposite of what was supposed to be a time to drink, eat, be merry and share in our solidarity with others as believers. But we can discuss that further in a different column. Or rather - I can diatribe and you can choose to read it, use it as a shimmy to help stabilize your coffee table. Seth Fein is from Urbana. He is looking forward to being back as a columnist on a weekly basis. Soon enough. He can be reached at sethfein@hotmail.com

buzz weekly •

DONNIE DARKO IS OVERRATED. THERE, WE SAID IT.

PAUL PRIKAZSKY• LEAD REVIEWER

The children of celebrities are born into the lap of wealth and

luxury. As evidenced through repeated viewings of VH1’s Celebrity Kids, most of them are worth more at age two than other people will be in 30 lifetimes. Inevitably, most of them enter the business by way of their famous parents. But there’s an exception to every rule, and that exception is Domino Harvey. British beauty Keira Knightley portrays the titular character who, instead of falling into the comfortable celebrity lifestyle, becomes a bounty hunter. Told through a series of flashbacks with an FBI investigator (Lucy Liu) we learn of Domino’s lush upbringing and her decision to become a gun-totin’, ass kickin’ beotch. After the death of her beloved father, Laurence Harvey (of Manchurian Candidate fame), Domino is sent to a boarding school by her mother, Paulene Stone (Jacqueline Bisset) and embarks on a promising modeling career before becoming bored by it all and turns to a life of bounty hunting. She hooks up with seasoned vet, Ed Moseby (Mickey Rourke) and his accomplice, Choco (Edgar Ramirez), who gladly teach the tough-as-nails Brit the tricks of the trade. The threesome become an unstoppable wrecking crew and soon attract the attention of slimy reality TV producer, Mark Heiss (Christopher Walken), who wants to turn the trio’s adventures into the next primetime hit. That, and a very angry contingent of the mafia and an even angrier group of black women from the DMV make up some kind of plot that otherwise eludes me. Domino is only based on a true story. Richard Kelly--indie darling and writer of the sorely overrated Donnie Darko--penned the convoluted script loosely based on the real Domino Harvey mixed with his own demented sense of entertainment. Like the aforemen-

19

20TH CENTURY FOX

6 • buzz weekly

you think that a movie centered on the fierce bounty hunter would involve more of her? As Domino weaves erratically from one scene to the next and Scott leads the audience through Kelly’s Byzantine plot, there is almost a total loss of focus on our principal character. For its many faults, Domino is really slick entertainment, albeit unraveled at a pace favored only by speed junkies. The action is explosive, loud and brutal—not to be taken lightly and certainly not a flick to see on Mother’s Day. The performances are nothing to brag about, except maybe Rourke’s. Unfortunately, he doesn’t do much in the context of the surprisingly pessimistic plot. Domino doesn’t honor the late bounty hunter’s memory; it exploits it and ruins it.

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M - Th 10:30 - 5:30 Fri - Sat 10:30 - 5:00 Sun 11:00 - 4:00

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

DREAMER (PG) Fri. 1:15 2:00 4:20 5:00 7:10 7:40 9:35 10:00 12:00 Sat. 11:30 1:15 2:00 4:20 5:00 7:10 7:40 9:35 10:00 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:15 2:00 4:20 5:00 7:10 7:40 9:35 10:00 DOOM (R) Fri. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:30 12:00 Sat. 11:00 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:30 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:30 STAY (R) Fri. 1:55 4:45 7:30 9:55 12:10 Sat. 11:10 1:55 4:45 7:30 9:55 12:10 Sun. - Thu. 1:55 4:45 7:30 9:55 NORTH COUNTRY (R) Fri. - Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:50 ◆ THE FOG (PG–13) Fri. 1:30 4:00 7:00 9:20 11:45 Sat. 11:00 1:30 4:00 7:00 9:20 11:45 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:00 7:00 9:20 ELIZABETHTOWN (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 1:15 4:00 7:00 9:45 DOMINO (R) Fri. - Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:05 10:00 THE GOSPEL (PG) Fri. 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:30 11:50 Sat. 11:15 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:30 11:50 Sun. - Thu. 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:30 WALLACE & GROMIT (G) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:15 9:20 11:25 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:15 9:20 TWO FOR THE MONEY (R) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:40 4:30 7:15 9:55 Sat. 11:10 1:40 4:30 7:15 9:55 IN HER SHOES (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 1:30 4:20 7:10 10:00 HISTORY OF VIOLENCE (R) Fri. 1:55 4:40 7:30 9:50 12:00 Sat. 11:40 1:55 4:40 7:30 9:50 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:55 4:40 7:30 9:50 SERENITY (PG–13) Fri. 1:30 4:10 7:00 9:40 12:10 Sat. 11:00 1:30 4:10 7:00 9:40 12:10 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:10 7:00 9:40 CORPSE BRIDE (PG) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 Sat. 11:30 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 FLIGHTPLAN (PG–13) Fri. 1:40 4:15 7:00 9:20 12:00 Sat. 11:00 1:40 4:15 7:00 9:20 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:40 4:15 7:00 9:20 WAITING (NR) Fri. 1:55 4:45 7:20 9:40 11:50 Sat. 11:15 1:55 4:45 7:20 9:40 11:50 Sun. - Thu. 1:55 4:45 7:20 9:40 JUST LIKE HEAVEN (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 4:30 9:40 11:50 Sun. - Thu. 4:30 9:40 EMILY ROSE (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 9:30 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 9:30 40 YEAR-OLD VIRGIN (R) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:45 7:10 Sat. 11:10 1:45 7:10

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buzz weekly •

YOU WANT SOME OF THIS MILK SIDEBURNS?

7

Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

or cuddle up with someone special,

For the next week cineastes (or cinephiles) in the C-U area are

in for a rare treat because the great Swedish director Ingmar Bergman’s newest film Saraband, his first in nearly a quarter century, will be featured at Boardman’s Art Theatre. Most contemporary students will likely have never heard of this great film artist or his many fine works, since his last film Fanny and Alexander, was released in 1983. What’s even more fascinating is that the 87-year-old Bergman decided to make his first sequel. Saraband is actually the continued tale of the husband and wife pair he introduced first to Swedish television and later as a feature length film, both called Scenes From a Marriage in 1973. Marianne and Johan were a nearly ideal 1970s professional family, lawyer and professor respectively, who had two daughters and a charming lifestyle until infidelity and other conflicts ruined their marriage. Saraband picks up on this tale 32 years after their divorce, and remarkably Bergman was able to retain his two stars from the original film, Liv Ullmann and Erland Josephson. Unlike the deeply profound medieval allegory of his 1957 classic, The Seventh Seal, or the psychological indictment of one’s spirituality in his Oscar-winning Through a Glass Darkly, Bergman tells this new story with a casual pace. Borrowing some of the narrative style of his favorite playwright, August

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His television roots are very noticeable in the film. Whedon has yet to master the widescreen and many times it seems like a television show on the silver screen. But there are many television shows that are vastly superior to films currently playing at theaters. Serenity is a niche film but audiences with an open mind and a taste for adventure will be taken to a universe like no other. Prepared to be pleasantly surprised.

SARABAND • JULIA DUFVENIUS & BORJE AHISTEDT

church depicts her listening to a painful exhortation by Henrik. In another touching scene late in the film, Marianne poignantly embraces Johan, who has awoken from sleep feeling profoundly full of angst. Shot in soft light, and with discrete sensitivity, it is one of the more mature scenes of sensual caring ever shown on screen with senior actors.Again, it’s the performances of the veterans of the master’s acting stable, Ullman and Josephson, that are in top form, without the Hallmark card sentimentality of films like On Golden Pond. Saraband, whose title refers to the musical piece that young Karin plays before one of the story’s main climaxes, is a powerfully sensitive film that is supposed to mark the swan song of one of the world’s greatest film makers.

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Best Place to Pawn Stuff to Pay the Rent –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Best Place to Take a Nap –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Best Stir Fry –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Best Local Politician –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Best Park –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Best Milkshake –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

COMMENTS:

Best Place to Watch a Sunset –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Best Salad –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Best Place to Watch a Sunrise –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Best “Fine Dining” –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Best Place to Make Out –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Best Pet Store –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Best Open Mic –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Best Place to go Grocery Shopping –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Best Art Gallery –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Best Place to Buy Vintage Clothes –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

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Yuppie Approved.

Best Place to Bowl ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Best Tobacco Shop ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Best Head Shop ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Best Place to Get a Tattoo ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Tattoo You Most Want to Get ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Sexiest Place on Body to Get a Tattoo ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Best Place to Get a Piercing ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Piercing You Most Want to Get ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Most Painful Piercing ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Best Place to Buy Jeans ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Best Place to Buy Tee Shirts ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Best Place to Buy a Car –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

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SYD SLOBODNIK• STAFF WRITER

Strindberg, he weaves a sensitive and simple tale in 10 distinct scenes plus a prologue and epilogue, narrated by a now 63-year -old Marianne. While looking over a table of unframed family photos, Marianne tells us she was motivated by a whim or “irrational impulse” to discover how her now 83-year-old ex-husband and first love is doing after all the years. The still elegant Ullmann, no longer the fresh-faced strawberry blonde of her early ingénue years, slowly reveals a compelling tale of renewed friendships, new understandings with family members and restored faith in deep human emotions that bind us in significant life long relationships. Each of the 10 episodes pairs one of the story’s four main characters in a rather intimate match up of thoughts and emotions that link them together as family. After a short husband-wife reunion in the first scene Bergman introduces Johan’s elderly son Henrik, a professional musician and widower who is still mourning his wife’s passing, and granddaughter, Karin, a radiant young cello player who wants to study music seriously and make decisions on her own, but can’t face leaving her potentially suicidal father alone. Characters interact through intimate discussions revealing hopes, fears, and other desires while discovering new insights on their long-lasting and sometimes new-found relationships. Bergman’s screenplay, much like the original, focuses on characters’ search for revelations in these impassioned scenes. No filmmaker was so skillful as Bergman with the use of the long take close up. In several scenes Bergman’s camera lingers on Ullmann’s face, wrinkled with lines of maturity, as her eyes tell pages of past emotional experience without much spoken dialogue. In one such scene a softly framed shot of Marianne in a small

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erenity is the continuation of Joss Whedon’s Space-Western television series, Firefly, which was grossly mishandled and prematurely cancelled on the Fox Network.The series centered on Capt. Malcolm Reynolds and the crew members of the ship Serenity.They are thieves, bandits, fugitives and friends making a life in a new system of planets after Earth over-populated. The film’s plotline concludes the Firefly series’ mystery. This involves the fugitives Dr. Simon Tam and his sister River, who has been tortured and experimented on by the Alliance, the government system of the planets. Serenity does an excellent job setting up the film in the first 10 minutes so it is unnecessary for audiences to have seen the television show in order to understand the movie. For most audiences, this is their introduction to the wonderful and imaginative creator, Joss Whedon. He is a writer of sharp wit and masterfully-crafted storytelling and loves playing with convention. The plot leads its characters to surprising results which keep the audience guessing, always being one

1 20TH CENTURY FOX

RANDY MA • STAFF WRITER

BUZZ wants to know about it!

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step ahead of them but not insulting their intelligence. Whedon knows how to create deep emotional tales in a dubious environment where Western slang is the dominant dialect and Mandarin Chinese is spoken in place of what would be considered “colorful” language. There are showdowns, bank robberies, desert chases and space battles. In a universe that is insanely wacky there is a surprising amount of realism. For instance, all of the action in space, outside of an atmosphere, is completely absent of sound except for the composed score.There is romance, revelation, and the most important aspect of Whedon’s writing: heart. This is a writer that loves human drama and believes in consequences for every action. His characters have emotional weight and, more importantly, chemistry. Whedon has an eye for actors and loves to stretch their abilities for the good of his characters. Ironically, it’s this kind of attention and love that the film misses, primarily in the romance between his characters. There were many unanswered questions after the cancellation of Firefly and all of them cannot be answered in a two-hour movie. Serenity is about River Tam and many of the storylines of the other characters had to take a backseat for the film.The romances between several of the characters require more time than Serenity can dedicate to them. Before, Whedon would have two to three seasons of television for a romantic connection to grow but here he only has a few minutes away from the primary storyline.

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DCFC AT FOELLINGER AUDITORIUM KYLE GORMAN

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• STAFF WRITER

708 S. Goodwin U rbana, IL 344-BAND 344-BAND

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Michael

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Franti

Thursday, Oct 20 PHOTO BY AUSTIN HAPPEL

PICKING APART THE PILE-UP IMRAN SIDDIQUEE

“I

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was just trying to be honest.” That’s how Paul Gonzenbach, lead singer of the Jim Yoshii Pile-Up, describes their latest record, and it’s a statement that is forcefully proven to anyone who actually sits down and listens to their latest album, Picks Us Apart. Many critics have lazily labeled the band as “emo” or “Death Cab-esque” but not only are these comparisons way off, they provide the reader with little insight into what Jim Yoshii (named after a childhood friend) are really about. “I think what you get compared to has nothing to do with what you are doing, it’s easier for people if you have some way to categorize bands. But I think it would be better to look back a little further to find comparisons.We weren’t listening to Death Cab when we where growing up.” Instead, Gonzenbach is influenced by a wide variety of styles, particularly British bands of the 80s and early 90s. With each record, the band has ventured into new territory, and on Picks Us Apart the group moves away from the melancholic droning guitars that distinguished their first album and instead wrap their songs in sunny pop melodies. But that’s not to say this isn’t a melancholic record. “We decided, well we wanted to try something different. The lyrics were going to be pretty over the top dark, so I think it (the music) sort of tempers the lyrics. But, this isn’t party music by any means.” The result is a deeply personal record for Gonzenbach, a work that struggles with issues of depression, anger and suppressed desire. Yet, he insists that first and foremost he and the band are about making music, and that lyrics like

“to my father…I leave a blood-stained mattress,” are often metaphorical or strictly about telling a story. “My first and most important goal is to make a good record, if I was going in there for myself that would be selfish. For me there isn’t therapy value, if you need therapy go to a therapist.” Yet, the songwriter’s inherent lyrical honesty struggles to be separated from the musical proficiency displayed in the songs. Gonzenbach has dealt with depression, and the opening song, from which the aforementioned lyrics are quoted, is a compilation of suicide notes he had written. Often these songs resonate with a hidden anger, and when true feelings emerge it creates an amazing amount of emotional intensity. “When you are dealing with something like this, you are in an altered state, you aren’t looking at everything with any understanding, and everybody is either too smothering or not helping enough. I think that a lot of suicide feelings are really intense feelings of anger, and anger outwards.” The passion behind the words and music on the record are reflected in the live performance as well, where the Pile-Up transplants some of that anger from the record into moving drama. And so when he tells the story of a fictional inmate on Jailhouse Rock “you will spend the next ten years/regretting the last six months,” you can’t help but think that there is a bit of Gonzenbach’s own experience in that line. “I don’t think mental illness ever really goes away, but I certainly didn’t want to make this to drive anyone deeper into depression, and at the same time I didn’t want to make a Lifetime movie.” The album is never shy about facing the realities of life, but many often miss the other social commentaries that Gonzenbach makes apart from his ruminations on depression; mainly issues of homosexuality. “I wish that would be acknowledged, or talked about a bit more. Most of the people who listen aren’t gay, but I do wish that they were sometimes, in some ways it does kind of bother me.” Any artist working within the realms that Gonzenbach and company travel through are bound to make some listeners uncomfortable. But it’s something that the band isn’t shy about, and as long as Gonzenbach continues to write with the same combination of vitriol and honesty, their music will remain significant. buzz

Milemarker, Milemarker

Tsu Shi Ma Mi Re, Fireflies & Hell in the Pacific Friday, Friday, Oct 21

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year ago, many others and I would have been overjoyed to catch Death Cab For Cutie in concert. After leader Ben Gibbard’s side project experienced such mainstream success, more pseudo-indie press than money could buy on The OC and making a jump from Seattle’s fiercely independent Barsuk Records to Atlantic, you’d think there’d be some drama. But there isn’t any. No drug addiction has haunted the band, no supermodel girlfriends have satisfied the band, and surprisingly few sell-out accusations have been levied against their first record with Atlantic, the satisfying but middle-of-the-road Plans. Many people I spoke with before the show felt no excitement or tension about the performance; it was as if they were paying a debt to a band they had once felt devoted too. Thus when Death Cab For Cutie rolled into Foellinger’s Auditorium, it felt a year too late. Not all fans seemed to feel this way, though. For many it was clearly the social event of the year; the large theatre lobby remained full during Aussie openers Youth Group’s somewhat bland set of mid-tempo rock. It’s not like anyone doubts Gibbard’s earnestness, either. Despite of his awkward stage presence, which features his short, squat frame waddling to either side of the mic swinging guitar in hand, it’s hard to discount the honesty in his voice, and there’s the sound of tragedy to be discerned; lyrically, Gibbard has revealed his existential crisis to be paternal neglect. Like many groups, though, the ties between band and audience seemed to be that Gibbard’s songs are never too personal to prevent listeners from adopting the vague crises of Gibbard to their own. This is not my own subjective theory, but a metric easily measured by counting the percentage of fans throwing back their shoulders and mouthing the lyrics. Indeed, the crowd seemed to be stick together remarkably tight despite a diverse crowd of white Greeks, white punks, and white English-school preps. What made up these ties, it seemed, was something personal: couples for whom Death Cab’s songs index something stronger than memories alone, adolescent hormones. This ability to be assimilated isn’t necessarily a problem, though; in addition to selling records, it gives Gibbard the chance to turn metaphors all over the place, as he did in newer, softer single, “Soul Meets Body,” where the band really rocked the wordless chorus. Multi-instrumentalist/producer Chris Walla (stage left) is acting music director for the occasional atmospherics. There was no denying the beauty in the band’s performance of one of their best songs to date, “A Movie Script Ending,” or that they can rock out (granted, they did so only rarely and in a calculated fashion), but fans who may have be unfamiliar with some of the more muscular, older material appeared impressed. In the end, though, there wasn’t a single surprise the entire night, and I left thirsty for something that was as bewildering as the first time I heard Gibbard’s voice one Sunday morning. Death Cab, if you want to really win us over, try alienating us first. buzz

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Weekly Events: SUNDAYS: 1234 Jukebox - $1 Domestics, $2 Imports, $3 Calls, $4 Domestic Pitchers MONDAYS: Love & Joy - Comedy, R&B $2 Amarettos, $1.75 Budweiser draft TUESDAYS: OPEN MIC / OPEN JAM $2 Long Islands, $1 PBRs, $2.50 Jager Bombs Tickets for advance shows on sale now at: Exile on Main Street, The Canopy Club, Family Pride, Bacca Cigar, or call 1-800-514-ETIX. Or print your tickets at home on JayTV.com!

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WAIT TILL YOU SEE MY EY!!

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You were an Architecture student, then got a second degree in Metallurgy, correct? Why the switch?

I got my Bachelor of Science in Architectural Studies, but took a summer class in Metals/Jewelry to fulfill a 3-D arts requirement. I liked it so much I stayed two extra years to explore that and other art forms, including ceramics, glass and painting and larger sculpture. I don't see it as a switch however; all human creation may be considered art, and all human manipulations of matter may be considered sculpture, including architecture. The changes occur in material, scale, and context. Now, I have the freedom to explore methods and details I would probably never have the chance to do in the field of architecture.

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FACE IT. YOUR FRATERNITY’S SHOWER ISN’T EXACTLY THE BEST MOODSETTER.

OV e RTiME

TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

KYLE GORMAN

You seem to have steady business catering to fans of the Occult, but you also frequently make fine jewelry. When you make things for yourself, not for sale, what inspires you? What "genre," if there is such a thing in jewelry, do you follow when making things for your own enjoyment?

Little China. I find my tastes in art lately gravitating towards the paintings you find on old action figure packaging and sci-fi horror paperbacks. I love to paint with oils, design and construct my own furniture (mainly to house my collections of various types), write, and sketch. All these activities help to spill out a visual language locked in my head, at which I should hopefully be fluent by the time I retire.

Inspirations for my own pieces stem from a variety of ancient and sometimes mystic sources, fictional cosmic weirdness (specifically works of H.P. Lovecraft I am not theistic, and similar literature), and theoretical physics. I use a lot of precious materials not just for I am NOT nationbeauty, but for durability, as art becomes my feeble attempt for immortality. Overall, I enjoy alistic, I am NOT producing works of archaic splendor, suitable Republican for a battle worn aristocracy of heightened spiritual awareness. But I work spontaneously, Nathan Maurer • metal artist so I have many pieces that have been underway for over a year; I'm patient. How do you get your name out there? How do customers typically find you?

Most of my customers have found me through eBay sales, although I have had some contact me through plain Internet searches. It's tough for any artist to infiltrate the gallery system, so the Internet coupled with good marketing makes for a sustainable personal gallery, at least for now.

Where can people in Champaign find your work?

As I am currently the sole distributor of everything I create, the only source is www.carvedmetal.com. It's still undergoing some construction, but my webmaster and I continuously add new things to view (and purchase).

The last question is always lame. So, here's my version of it: Give me three words that DO NOT describe you.

I am NOT theistic, I am NOT nationalistic, I am NOT republican.

You have loyal customers from several different countries, but you keep a "day job." Do you strive to have your own shop some day and only do that?

Definitely; someday I will design and build a gallery with production facilities and attached living quarters. I have a lot of neat ideas for that already, despite having no clue where the final site is located.Once I can manage to begin that phase, I will be fully employed by myself.

The 15th annual Great Cover Up has been postponed from November 2005 to January 2006.Temple of Low Men, due to headline Nov. 3 at The Highdive, now will play that night at Cowboy Monkey. Arun Bhalla, drummer for The Opportunists and Humpty Dumpster, relocated Oct. 10 to San Francisco with fiancée Jane Andrew for a career with a software engineering company. Arun and Jane were active at Urbana-Champaign Independent Media Center and will be missed widely. They will visit next May. As Arun left, though, Humpty Dumpster (and Echolalia) lead singer Amelia Bowen returned to town after a stint in Santa Rosa. Humpty Dumpster disbanded in June 2003 at Cowboy Monkey. Besides being in Humpty Dumpster together and moving to California afterward, Arun and Amelia were airshifters at WEFT 90.1 FM. Bluegrasss mainstay and WPGU-Buzz Best Roots/Americana Band 2005 nominee Green Mountain Grass plays its farewell show tomorrow at the Iron Post at 9 p.m.Three-fourths of the band is moving to Texas: guitarist Turtle and native Texans mandolinist Dave Wilmoth and banjoist Spencer Savoie. Upright bassist Quinn Bailey will remain in Illinois. Fellow WPGU-Buzz Best Roots/Americana Band 2005 nominee elsinore introduces elsinore on display: a live CD tonight at Cowboy Monkey.Also aboard are Ambitious Pie Party and Theory of Everything. Show time is 10 p.m., and cover is $4. The disc consists of eight songs from the July 23 set

at Jackson Ave. Coffee in Charleston and the Aug. 15 set on WEFT Sessions. Six of the songs are otherwise unavailable until release of the full-length underway with Mark Rubel and Carl Lund at Pogo Studio.A separate Charleston release for elsinore on display: a live CD is Tuesday at Jackson Ave. Coffee. Show time is 7 p.m., and admission is free. elsinore plays again with Granian (Garen Gueyikian) Oct. 30 at Cowboy Monkey. Show time is 9:30 p.m., and cover is $5. Saturday at Cowboy Monkey, new-wave favorite Menthol plays its first hometown show since July 2004 with Green Light Go and Nadafinga. Show time is 10 p.m., and cover is $5. Earlier Saturday, The Courtyard presents The Beauty Shop with The Lesser Birds of Paradise and Shipwreck at 8 p.m., and cover is $5 ($3 with UIUC ID). Occasional local and singer-songwriter Gabe Rosen has a new act: Gabe Rosen and the Good Enough Band, with drummer Jim Landeck and keyboardist Eric Chase.The trio makes its UrbanaChampaign debut Sunday for the OpeningBands showcase at the Canopy Club. Headlining is Deconstructing Jim, whose album The Further,The Better came out July 23 on Half Empty Records. Show time is 10 p.m., and admission is free.

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STAFF WRITER

Robert “The Old Timer” Kent McConkey - (1935-2005) The Old Timer, as he was known, graduated from University High in 1956. He ran a cab service and worked as an Urbana dogcatcher, but he was best known for several radio shows, first on WKID, a set on WWHP-FM 98.3 and a long-running show on Champaign’s WEFT-FM 90.1. He could be heard hosting the Country Jamboree on WEFT from 5-8p.m. on Saturdays since the ’80s. The Jamboree featured only the most authentic of old-timey music, and McConkey used his on-air time to both entertain and educate listeners about the music he loved. He was a legend of good taste and charm. WEFT representatives claim that he was the DJ who brought in the most money during pledge drives, and his voice echoed through garages and shops all around town. He was 70.

Todd J. Hunter hosts WEFT Sessions and Champaign Local 901, two hours of local music every Monday at 10 PM on WEFT 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com. Support your scene to preserve your scene. Common has dropped out of Kanye West’s “Touch The Sky” tour just hours before it began, and only weeks before he was scheduled to appear at Champaign’s Assembly Hall. Sorry hipsters, there won’t be any ticket refunds, just kick back and pop some Cristal during Kanye’s set.

album REVIEW Sam Ashworth

Gonna Get It Wrong Before I Get It Right

Tell me what else you enjoy in terms of style of music/movies/art. Do you dabble in other mediums besides jewelry to express yourself?

BY JARON BIRKAN

While snarkiness seems to be the rule of the day in modern popular music, there are still musicians out there willing to write bright-eyed pop songs. Sam Ashworth is one of these, a songsmith who allows his work to simmer as it progresses, never veering into irony or acrimony. Along those lines, Ashworth shows a clear reverence for modern indie pop gods The Shins, whose modest prodigiousness he tries to recreate on his debut Gonna Get It Wrong Before I Get It Right. Ashworth’s background in Nashville’s burdgeoning indie scene aids him immensely here, as that city’s down-home pride permeates every song on this enjoyable album. Nevertheless, Ashworth is by no means the most talented songwriter and tends to mine only the surface of his issues, usually focusing mostly on creating a pleasing melody. These tend towards simplicity, usually consisting of a twangy guitar and Ashworth’s lilting whisper. Naturally, with these techniques, Ashworth is at his best when he is at his most poignant, especially in “Children’s Leap,” the album’s highlight and a peerless example of subtle sentimentality. That’s not to say Ashworth can’t engage in a little bit of raucousness now and again.“Look Back” is a number so charged it could almost be a power pop song. For him, though, this rambunctiousness is understated and rough-hewn; he never strays too far from his southern gentleman roots. Even “Look Back” has its soft points and vulnerabilities; Ashworth’s voice never matches the force of the music and the lyrics are decidedly self-conscious. What befalls Ashworth, as it does many other pop artists, is his tendency to take himself too seriously. Unlike his idols, he never allows a bon mot to slip in underneath the poignancy in order to offset the inherent pathos in his songs. As such, the album can tend to slacken. At points it even tends to revel in its languidness, revealing Ashworth as a songwriter who, stripped of his neuroses, is actually quite sure of himself. A dichotomy like this does not hurt Ashworth, but rather makes the album that much more layered, enjoyable and, dare we say it, snarky. s o u n d s

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w H at tH e He L L? MOMENT OF THE WEEK

Runway Network

My tastes in music and movies are all over the place, from Steely Dan to Bethlehem, from Taxi Driver to Big Trouble in

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this week in music

STAFF WRITER

Nathan Maurer learned to walk and talk in Texas, but moved to Illinois in third grade. Watching an elderly Texan neighbor carve wood inspired him as a child to experiment with 3-D art, and he has enjoyed it ever since. He considers himself lucky to have the opportunity to pursue two art degrees from U of I. He believes that his only artistic limitation is his budget. Nathan currently creates both fine jewelry and esoteric items for loyal clients. He can be reached at www.carvedmetal.com.

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soundground #97

ar tist’s corner Nathan Maurer MATT HOFFMAN

OC T. 2O

Where can you find David Byrne in Stockholm? I came up blank looking for him reading dada-esque poetry in café-bars. Turns out he was at his factory the whole time. The former Talking Head has completed his newest project, an egalitarian installation art piece. Playing The Building allows visitors to control crashing hammers, tuned pipes played by steam, and loud engines by mean of an accessible organ. Byrne hopes to explain to patrons that the art elite isn’t always trying to put one over on them.

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10 • b u z z w e e k l y

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IF YOU GOOGLE ‘EXPLODING WHALE’, YOU WILL FIND REAL FOOTAGE OF A WHALE BEING BLOWN UP.

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Capturing “Inner Voices� EMILY COTTERMAN

PA R A S O L T O P T E N MOJO

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“M

y roommate is a lesbian?â€? Lauren Rodriguez’s and stopped having sex years ago, just like in any straight marriage. staffing. “That’s phenomenal!â€? exclaimed Morrissette. The character asks incredulously in the first few minutes of the On opening night, Oct. 13, at the Armory Free Theatre, the Inner Voices: Social Issues Theatre program has three classes: performance. There is a beat. “I’m a lesbian too!â€? Rodriguez discussion touched briefly on different points made by the plays, Social Issues Theatre (Theatre 418) focuses on actor training, shouts happily and the two women embrace. including the assumption that everyone is straight, the impact of script writing, and performing; Leading Post-Performance The Inner Voices: Social Issues Theatre ensemble is presenting negative, derogatory language, and the idea that coming out Dialogue (Theatre 417) develops the skills to facilitate discus“Out and About in Americaâ€? which “addresses Lesbian, Gay, can inspire others. sions between the audience and casts on social issues; Inner Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning and Allies (LGBTQA) conThe plays are funny, thoughtful and bring up good examples Voices: Social Issues Theatre Ensemble (Theatre 400M) consists cerns including authenticity, homophobia and heterosexism and of people dealing with their sexuality and those already accus- of the actors and discussion facilitators. The program began in the roles that allies can play in creating a just community for tomed to it.The only disappointment was the audience. During the spring of 1995 as a way of addressing binge drinking on everyoneâ€? according to the Inner Voices Web site.The many per- the second play, whenever Keenan mentioned his attraction to college campuses. Sponsored by McKinley Health Center, the formances on campus initiate discussions about sexuality after the Ben’s great thighs and arms, there were distinct “ughsâ€? heard. Counseling Center, and the UIUC Theatre Department, the show in which the audience and The plays are discreet, not Social Issues Theatre performances promote a healthy social cast can voice their opinions. graphic; Keenan’s admission environment at the U of I. Past productions have centered on There are three plays that of looking at Ben in a sexual body image, diversity, drug and alcohol addiction, abusive relaencompass “Out and About in nature is an important ele- tionships, racism,and sexual assault. buzz [homosexuality] fits well America.â€?The first is a meeting of ment in the discovery of his students in a residence hall, called homosexuality. Despite ... it’s a taboo subject There will be several more performances across campus: together by the R.A. over a rumor attending a play about homoOct. 20 at 8 p.m. at the Florida Avenue Residence Halls; that someone is gay. Eventually, sexuality, the obvious discoOct. 25 at 8 p.m. at the Illini Orange Snack bar, Oct. 26 Lauren Rodriguez• InnerVoices everyone admits to being homomfort of some audience at 9 p.m. at Lincoln Avenue Residence Hall, and Oct. 27 sexual, except for one girl who is members reveals the prejudice at 8 p.m. at Allen Hall’s south recreation room.The show then teased for being “hetero.â€? that still exists within society. is free and open to the public. For any more information, Sitting in the audience, the actors Mike Conley, who plays contact Morrissette at 217-244-5919 or jump up one by one and claim their sexuality, capturing the idea Josh Keenan, says that the productions “give us a chance to tackinnervoices@uiuc.edu The INNER VOICES website is that homosexuals are just regular people, too. le issues that we wouldn’t normally talk about.â€? www.innervoices.uiuc.edu The second play, “Josh Keenan Comes Out to the Worldâ€? The idea that Inner Voices focuses on prevalent but potendelves into Keenan’s discovery that he’s gay when he finds him- tially uncomfortable issues is a resounding theme. self attracted to one of his guy friends, Ben. However, he fears Rodriguez explained that coming out to his friends, let alone admitting that it’s okay to be homosexuality is a good topic gay. He tries to cover it up, dating a girl to convince himself he’s for Inner Voices. “It fits well straight and to keep his friends from being suspicious. However, ‌ it’s a taboo subject.â€? For his pesky conscience P.J., the embodiment of a stereotypical gay her, the performances give man, wearing a tiara with the word “FAGâ€? in glitter, keeps pop- the fodder and the place to ping up, reminding Keenan of who he really is. Eventually, with talk about the issues during the support of his true friends, Keenan does come out and the discussions. accept his homosexuality. The play’s real spirit is in the mental Assistant Program Cooanguish Keenan either endures or puts upon himself by imagin- rdinator J.W. Morrissette says ing the worst outcomes. Keenan shows the emotional turmoil that part of the reason that people face when realizing their true identity, which is made Inner Voices chose homoeven worse for the character growing up in high school with his sexuality for the fall semester bigoted guy friends. production was because NatThe final one, “Marga Gomez is Pretty, Witty and Gayâ€? is ional Coming Out Day was a monologue by Rodriguez where she asks that you just call her Oct. 11. Morrissette is also a “dyke.â€? She discusses how many talk shows are focused around happy that the university has gays and how there doesn’t seem to be the same fascination with taken a giant step forward by straights. By agreeing to go on a talk show herself, she’s complet- giving more funding to the ing her “lesbian jury duty.â€? She lists the similarities between Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and (from left) Mike Conley, Eric Siegel, Kevin Reader, and Vince Pham, members of the Inner Voices straight and gay marriages - it’s just that hers isn’t legally binding. Transgender Concerns Social Issues Theatre Ensemble, preform a scene from "Josh Keenan Comes Out to the World" on She says she and her partner live together, sleep in the same bed, office, which now has full Thursday night in the Armory Free Theatre.

4HURSDAY 3ATURDAY .OVEMBER AT P 7EDNESDAY 3ATURDAY .OVEMBER AT PM 3UNDAY .OVEMBER AT PM h) THINK ARTISTS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ASKING DIFlCULT QUESTIONS AND ) BELIEVE IN THE IMMENSE POWER OF THEATRE TO BOTH HEAL AND SPARK DEBATE v ,YNN !NN "ERNATOWICZ )NSPIRED BY A TRUE STORY *OHN 'UARE S SATIRIC DRAMA FOLLOWS THE TRAIL OF A YOUNG BLACK CON ARTIST WHO INSINUATES HIMSELF INTO THE LIVES OF A WELL HEELED .EW 9ORK COUPLE BY CLAIMING HE KNOWS THEIR CHILDREN FROM COLLEGE #OMICALLY EXPLORING RACE SEXUALITY AND OUR DESPERATE NEED FOR PERSONAL CONNECTION THE TITLE OF THE PLAY REFERS TO THE STATISTICAL THEORY THAT ANY TWO PEOPLE IN THE WORLD CAN BE LINKED THROUGH A CHAIN OF EXACTLY SIX ACQUAINTANCES #ONTAINS ADULT THEMES AND STRONG LANGUAGE &LEX 3# 3TU 5) 9TH 3INGLE 3# 3TU 5) 9TH

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14 • b u z z w e e k l y

MONDAY OCT. 24

LIVE MUSIC Love & Joy [comedy and live R&B] Canopy Club, 10pm, $3 Motown Mondays: As Is Nargile, 7pm, $5 Jazz Jam with ParaDocs Iron Post, 8-11pm, TBA Chris and Jim [cover band] White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Finga Lickin' The Office, 10:30pm, free Quad Remedy [classic rock] Tommy G’s, 10pm, free Open Mic Night hosted by Mike Ingram [acoustic] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Shovelwrack Clybourne, 10:45pm, free Chris Chandler Channing Murray Foundation, 8pm, $10/$5

DJ DJ Delayney [hip hop, soul] Barfly, 10pm, free Mixtape Mondays: DJ Elise, TBA [house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

NEVER TEST THE DEPTH OF A RIVER WITH BOTH FEET.

DJ XM [jazz & mellow sounds] Nargile, 10pm, free Metal Monday: DJ Punkass, DJ Dirtleg Sidebar, 10pm, $2 Nekromancy: DJ Randall Ellison [industrial, gothic] Chester St. 11pm, $2

TUESDAY OCT. 25

LIVE MUSIC Bluegrass Jam Verde Gallery, 79:30pm, free The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Adam Wolfe's Acoustic Night Tommy G's, 10pm, free Open Stage Espresso Royale Goodwin & Oregon, 8pm, free Larry Gates [acoustic] The White Horse Inn, 9:30pm, free Open Jam/Open Mic hosted by Mike Ingram Canopy Club, 10pm, free if over 21/$2 if under

DJ DJ Reaganomics [80’s requests] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free

Tremblin BG [house] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ JB [hip hop music videos] Nargile, 9pm, free DJ ImpacT [Chicago house] Nargile, 9pm, free Hip Hop DJ Nargile, 10pm, free Subversion presents Dark Hearts Entwined: DJ ZoZo, DJ Evily, DJ TwinScin The Highdive, 10pm, $2 DJ J-Phlip [house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

KARAOKE "G" Force Karaoke Neil St. Pub, 8pm12am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's , 9pm-1am, free

KIDS Storytime Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free

SUPPORT GROUPS Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free

POETRY, READINGS, BOOK SIGNINGS Keith Knight ["(th)ink" cartoonist celebrates the release of two new books, "the Passion of the Keef" and "the Beginner's Guide to Community-Based Arts"] South Rec. Room of Allen Hall, 7pm, free

WEDNESDAY OCT. 26

LIVE MUSIC Chambana Jackson’s Ribs-n-Tips, 8-10pm, TBA Ed O'Hare and Friends Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Blues Night: Kilborn Alley Tommy G's, 10pm, free Identity Crisis Iron Post, 5-7pm, TBA Tom Paynter Quartet Iron Post, 8pm, TBA Apollo Poetics: Apollo Project [featuring guest MC's and vocalists] Nargile, 9pm, free Lotus, Family Groove Company Canopy Club, 10pm, $6 Brandon T. Washington Silvercreek, 7pm, free

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THERE ARE A LOT OF PERVERTS HERE.

THIS WEEK AT KRANNERT

DJ Chef Ra [roots, reggae] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Stiffler [country, top40 dance, hip hop, rock-n-roll] The Highdive, 8pm, $3 before 10pm, $5 after Contact: DJ Raphael Kroshay [drum n bass night] Nargile, 9pm, free Mix It, Reverse It: DJ Randall Ellison [club house, latin, dancehall, hip hop] Chester St. 9:30pm, free DJ Missus Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, TBA Open Decks Soma, 10pm, TBA DJ Mertz [chilled sounds] Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ Asiatic Joe’s Brewery, 11pm, cover

KARAOKE Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti’s, 10pm-2am, free “G� Force Karaoke TNT Corner Tavern, 8:30pm-12:30am

DANCING Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, free Salsa Dancing [salsa, mambo, bachata] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Western Dancing [lesson at 7:15pm] Prairie Land Dance Club, 7-10pm, free

LECTURES, MEETINGS, WORKSHOPS Sex Sells but Who's Buying? Erotic Imagery on Attic Vases [Lecture by Professor Kathleen Lynch, University of Cincinnati] 62 Krannert Art Museum, 5:30pm, free

FAMILY Babies’ Lap Time Moonlight Edition [stories, songs and rhymes for infants] Urbana Free Library, 6:30-7pm, free

11

Altars for the Dead, Vows of the Living exhibition pairs 19th and 20th century devotional ex-voto and retablo paintings from Mexico with contemporary Day of the Dead altars. Altares para los muertos, votos de los vivos combina pinturas piadosas de los siglos 19 y 20 con altares contemporaneous del Dia de los Muertos Opening reception, Oct. 21, 5-7 pm featuring Mariachi Band Zelaya through Dec. 31 Krannert Art Museum, Tue-Sat 9am5pm, Thurs 9am-9 pm, Sun 2pm-5 pm Balance and Power: Performance and Surveillance in Video Art At a time when the nation is preoccupied with heightened security and surveillance and the public is fascinated by Reality TV with its open and surreptitious video exposure of participants, the boundaries between performance, voluntary acting for the camera, and surveillance, involuntary recording on camera by power systems with an interest in the movement of citizens, become blurred. This exhibition, which examines both the early days of video art and current practices, is an attempt to understand the complex relationship between the issues of performance, surveillance and power. Included in the exhibition are works by some of the earliest practitioners, large-scale installations, newly commissioned pieces, and the premiere of Jordan Crandall's new film, Homefront. Balance and Power will be installed in two locations: in public areas at the Thomas M. Siebel Center for Computer Science and at Krannert Art Museum. The Siebel Center regularly features contemporary art installations employing state-of-theart equipment integrated into the building. Installations at the Siebel Center periodically may be unavailable. through Dec. 31 Krannert Art Museum, Tue-Sat 9am5pm, Thurs 9am-9pm, Sun 2pm-5pm Eye, Form, Symbol: The Jon and Judith Liebman Collection of Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Glass as a sculptural medium has an impressive range of creative potential. Eye, Form, Symbol, an exhibition drawn from Jon and Judith Liebman's extensive collection of contemporar y sculpture in glass, features pieces that attract the eye with radiant sur faces or jewel-like appeal; empha-

size bold sculptural forms with worked sur faces, brilliant color, and unions with solid materials; and captivate the imagination with symbolic meaning. This exhibition profiles more than 30 internationally renowned glass ar tists. Their techniques for handling this ancient medium result in contemporar y sculptures of unprecedented brilliance and tremendous breadth of ar tistic expression. through Dec. 31 Krannert Art Museum, Tue-Sat 9am5pm, Thurs 9am-9pm, Sun 2pm-5pm

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Artwork from Katie Jacobson and Nisha Agha photographic screenprints and other media Aroma Cafe through Nov. 1

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Sleep Series acrylic paintings by local artist Samantha Singer Cafe kopi through Nov. 1

4HURSDAY 3ATURDAY .OVEMBER AT PM 3UNDAY .OVEMBER AT PM

Latitude and Longitude new prints, collages and artist’s books by Dennis Rowan Cinema Gallery through Nov. 5 Mon-Sun 10am-4pm

h4HIS IS 6ERDI S MOST PERSONAL AND HUMAN TRAGIC OPERAˆNO CHARACTERS FROM MYTHOLOGY NO HEROES NO GODDESSESˆJUST mAWED HUMAN BEINGS TRYING TO lND LOVE IN A DIFlCULT WORLD v (ENSON +EYS

Portraits, Faces and Figures portraits 0by Gloria Christine Severin, Jeannine Bestoso, Andy Gillis, Erin Gillis, and Mark Reutter using pencil, charcoal, watercolor and many others Creation Art Studios, Tue-Fri 1-5:30pm, Sat 1-4pm

6IOLETTA 6ALĂ?RY NEVER IMAGINED THAT SHE D TRADE THE GAY LIFE OF THE SALON FOR TRUE LOVE AND COUNTRY LIVING (ER mEETING REVERIE TURNS INTO HEART WRENCHING SACRIlCE WHEN !LFREDO S FATHER PERSUADES HER TO BREAK OFF THE AFFAIR SO AS NOT TO BESMIRCH HIS SON S SOCIETY REPUTATION %VERY INTENSE EMOTION OF THESE CHARACTERS IS HEIGHT ENED THROUGH 'IUSEPPE 6ERDI S MAGNIlCENT MUSIC

I lloutuve wyou too paintings and drawings by S. J. Hart Humanities Lecture Hall, IPRH, 805 West Pennsylvania Avenue through Oct. 28 Commercial/Visions/Personal/Illustrations illustrations by Chris Sickels, Luba Lukova, Hugh Kretschmer, Brian Cronin and Jean Tuttle Parkland Art Gallery through Oct. 27. Visit http://vir tual.parkland.edu/gds/illustrators/exhibition.html for gallery hours

3UNG IN )TALIAN WITH %NGLISH SURTITLES &LEX 3# 3TU 5) 9TH 3INGLE 3# 3TU 5) 9TH

Life Drawing Sessions drop in sessions to practice and improve your life drawing skills Sundays from 1-4pm at the Independent Media Center, $8. Contact Kindra Crick at 352-4668; kindredspark@gmail.com for details.

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LIVE MUSIC Shovelwrack White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Will Rogers Band [country, southern rock covers, originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, free U of I Jazz Combo Iron Post, 7-10pm, TBA Brad Paisley, Sara Evans, Sugarland [country] Assembly Hall, 7:30pm, $38.50

DJ Generic DJ Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8pm, TBA DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, electro] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Elise [house] Boltini, 10pm, free Solace: DJ J-Phlip, DJ Mertz [deep house] Soma, 10pm, free DJ Stiffler [80's hair metal] Tommy G's, 9pm, free DJ Michael Limacher Chester St., 10pm, TBA The Black Affair: DJ Delayney, DJ Roc On, DJ Bonsu [hip hop, old school, reggae, R&B] The Highdive, 9pm, cover Ladies Night [hip hop, dance hall, reggae, reggaeton] Nargile, 10pm, TBA

KARAOKE "G" Force Karaoke Pia's of Rantoul, 9pm1am, free

Liquid Courage Karaoke The Office, 10pm2am, free

DANCING UIUC Swing Society McKinley Foundation, 9:30pm-12am, free

MIND, BODY, SPIRIT Krannert Uncorked Krannert Art Center Lobby, 5pm, free Group Meditation Ananda Liina, 2308 N. High Cross Rd. Urbana 5:30pm, free

LECTURES, MEETINGS, DISCUSSIONS Cosmopolitan Club Coffee Hour [Sample coffee, tea and homemade ethnic desserts from Ghana. All are welcome] Cosmopolitan Club, 307 E. John St., 7:309:30pm, free

KIDS Funfare [stories, songs, puppets, and films for children and their caregivers] Urbana Free Library, 10:30-11am, free

FRIDAY OCT. 21

LIVE MUSIC Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Eclectic Theory The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Will Rogers Band [country, southern rock covers, originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm2am, $3 Boneyard Jazz Quintet Iron Post, 5-7pm, TBA Billy Galt Tommy G's, 5-7pm, cover

The Prairie Dogs [bluegrass] Cowboy Monkey, 5:30pm, $2 Prelude: Emerson String Quartet with Pacifica Quartet Krannert Center, 6:30pm, free Michael Franti Canopy Club, 7pm, $10 Emerson String Quartet with Pacifica Quartet Krannert Center, 7:30pm, $34 Starlite Ramblers Huber’s, 8pm, free Green Mountain Grass Farewell Show Iron Post, 9pm, TBA Buddy Nuisance, Beat Kitchen, Fotamana Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 Ethel [string quartet] Krannert Center, 10pm, $20 Kelly's Heroes [classic rock covers] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover Dave and Steve Joe’s Brewery, 8-11pm, cover

DJ Dance Party Canopy Club, 10:30pm, TBA

DANCING Western Dancing Prairie Land Dance Club, 7pm, free

SUPPORT GROUPS Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free

KARAOKE Liquid Courage Karaoke The Brickhouse, 10pm2am, TBA Karaoke American Legion Post 71, 8pm-1am, free

LECTURES, MEETINGS, WORKSHOPS Facing the Death Penalty: A Victim’s Conscience [Jennifer Bishop-Jenkins will speak about the effects of the death penalty on victims and society] University YMCA, noon, free

DJ DJ Elise [house, broken beat] Boltini, 6pm, free DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm-2am, TBA DJ Delayney [hip hop, soul] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Randall Ellison [HiNRG, Eurodance, disco, house] Chester St., 10pm, $3 DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover DJ Tim Williams [top 40, hip hop, house, dance] The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Lil Big Bass [drum n bass] Boltini, 10pm, free DJ ImpacT [Chicago deep house] Nargile, 10pm, TBA

OCT. 22

LIVE MUSIC

Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Will Rogers Band [country, southern rock covers, originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm2am, $3 Everyone Cares for Hurricane Katrina: Seven Year Existence, Warborn, Goretesque, Anew, Resurgence, Fare Thee Well, Awaiting the Arrival, TBA [metal] The Phoenix, 6pm, $5 Urbana Booking Co. presents: Cat Power, Dexter Romweber Canopy Club, 7-9:30pm, $15

KARAOKE Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's, 9pm-1am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke The Brickhouse, 9pm1am, free

Train to be a volunteer advocate for this 28-year-old unique hotline. CCHCC advocates work with consumers having problems with any par t of the health care system. Volunteers work to help consumers solve their immediate health care problems and empower them to be more asser tive and proactive in the future. This is a one-time training oppor tunity to be held on Oct. 26, from 6:008:30 p.m. Dinner will be ser ved at the training. The CCHCC works for local and national health care justice. They are located at 44 E. Main St., Suite 208 in Champaign. Metered parking is free after 5 p.m.

Contrar y to popular belief, Cat Power is not the title given to the militant political movement working for feline rights in America; it’s the musical vehicle for ever y indie rocker’s “biggest crush eva”, the mysterious and alluring Chan Marshall. Chan (pronoun ced Shawn, or Sean, I suppose…) got sick of smelling teen spirit back in the early nineties, dropped out of high school and crossed the Mason-Dixon Line to New York City, looking to make waves in the music scene. She cer tainly has done so throughout her career as Cat Power, being heralded as one of the greatest songwriters in contemporar y music. Her bare bones, minimalistic approach to music abandons the conventional structure of popular music on a darkened doorstep, creating a truly unique and other-worldly sound that is impossible to resist. Not only that, but she’s a major hottie! This Saturday, October 22, Cat Power will be at the Canopy Club showing Urbana that all the hipster hype is true. When Chan performs it’s more than just a concer t, it is an intimate experience with a great ar tist. Her insecurities, fears, loves are all center stage along with her. Her hauntingly beautiful voice emits passion that transcends her songs’ recorded renditions. This solo per formance will surely be an experience, and with a new album slated for release this Januar y, there should be some new tunes to tickle the fancy of the seasoned Cat Power aficionado. Tickets are $15 and the concer t star ts at 7 p.m. Be sure to catch the opener, Dexter Romweber, the rockabilly-blues musician formerly of Flat Duo Jets. –Brian McGover n

MIND, BODY, SPIRIT Wine Tastings Persimmon Grocery, 1pm, $2

BOOK SALE The Urbana-Champaign Books to Prisoners Community Book Sale [More than 10,000 fiction, non-fiction, and children’s books are priced to sell] Lincoln Square Village, 9am-5pm, free

SUNDAY LIVE MUSIC

Salsa Dancing: LatiNation [salsa, merengue, bachata, reggaeton] Sidebar, 11pm, $3 before midnight, $5 after

KIDS Storytime Pages for All Ages, 11am, free

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Sam Shaber, Anne Heaton Farren's, 6pm, $10 The Dave Dickey Band Iron Post, 6-9pm, TBA Timothy Ehlen [piano] Krannert Center, 7:30pm, $6 Openingbands.com Showcase: Deconstructing Jim, Gabe Rosen and the Good Enough Band, TBA Canopy Club, 9pm, TBA Black Light Rebellion, Blackmaker, Sick Day Tommy G's, 9:30pm, cover

OCT. 23

DANCING

Please contact Bill Mueller at wwmuelle@shout.net or by calling (217) 352-6533.

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Cat Power

DJ DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm, TBA DJ Night Paulie's, 9pm, free DJ Tim Williams [top 40, hip hop, house, dance] The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Elise [house] Boltini, 10pm, free DJ White Horse Inn, 10pm, free "G" Force DJ The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover DJ Dance Party Canopy Club, 10:30pm, TBA DJ Asiatic, DJ Bobby Skills [hip hop, dance hall, R&B, house] Nargile, 8pm, free before 11pm, $5 after DJ Resonate [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Michael Limacher [dance pop, club house, hip hop] Chester St., 10pm, $5

yyo our favorites in C-U?

Saturday Oct. 22 7 p.m. $15 with Dexter Romweber

Tommy G's, 10pm, cover

SATURDAY

Champaign County Health Care Consumers (CCHCC) - Consumer Health Hotline

What’re

Meridian Green [Americana folk fusion] Pages For All Ages, 7pm, free Rudolf Haken [viola] Krannert Center, 7:30pm, $6 Ethel [string quartet] Krannert Center, 7:30pm, $20 Bruiser & the Virtues Huber’s, 8pm, free Corkscrew After Dark: Sam Shaber Corkscrew Wine Emporium, 8pm, free Lesley Byers and The Jazz Cats [swing] Sidebar, 8pm, TBA The Beauty Shop, Lesser Birds of Paradise, Shipwreck The Courtyard, 8pm, $3 UIUC students, $5 public The Painkillers Iron Post, 9pm, TBA Menthol, Green Light Go, Nadafinga Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 JAB [rock covers]

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The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Liquid Courage Open Mic Night Geovanti's, 8pm-12am, free The Marching Illini in Concert Assembly Hall, 3pm, $7 in advance, $9 at door Timothy McGovern [bassoon] Krannert Center, 3pm, $6

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DJ DJ Wesjile [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Black Ice [hip hop] Nargile, 8pm, TBA Jon Meske [house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free Mike Rocks [live concert videos and local music] Tommy G's, 9:30pm, free DJ Fahey Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free

COMEDY

You can submit entries from now until

Sunday, October 23.

Roseanne Barr Virginia Theatre, 7:30pm, $35 main/mezz, $30 balcony

buzz

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OCT. 20

Ethel [string quartet] Krannert Center, 7:30pm, $20 Reasonable Doubt [acoustic rock] Aroma, 8pm, free Jim Yoshii Pile Up, Pulsar47, C The Courtyard, 8pm, $3 UIUC students/$5 public Urbana Booking Co presents: Milemarker, FireFlies, Tsu Shi Ma Me Re, Hell in the Pacific Canopy Club, 9pm, $8 Weasel Dreams [jazz] Zorba's, 9:30pm, $3 Elsinore CD Release Show: Elsinore, Ambitious Pie Part, Theory of Everything [rock] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 Eclectic Theory Joe's Brewery, 10pm, TBA

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LIVE MUSIC Shovelwrack White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Will Rogers Band [country, southern rock covers, originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, free U of I Jazz Combo Iron Post, 7-10pm, TBA Brad Paisley, Sara Evans, Sugarland [country] Assembly Hall, 7:30pm, $38.50

DJ Generic DJ Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8pm, TBA DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, electro] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Elise [house] Boltini, 10pm, free Solace: DJ J-Phlip, DJ Mertz [deep house] Soma, 10pm, free DJ Stiffler [80's hair metal] Tommy G's, 9pm, free DJ Michael Limacher Chester St., 10pm, TBA The Black Affair: DJ Delayney, DJ Roc On, DJ Bonsu [hip hop, old school, reggae, R&B] The Highdive, 9pm, cover Ladies Night [hip hop, dance hall, reggae, reggaeton] Nargile, 10pm, TBA

KARAOKE "G" Force Karaoke Pia's of Rantoul, 9pm1am, free

Liquid Courage Karaoke The Office, 10pm2am, free

DANCING UIUC Swing Society McKinley Foundation, 9:30pm-12am, free

MIND, BODY, SPIRIT Krannert Uncorked Krannert Art Center Lobby, 5pm, free Group Meditation Ananda Liina, 2308 N. High Cross Rd. Urbana 5:30pm, free

LECTURES, MEETINGS, DISCUSSIONS Cosmopolitan Club Coffee Hour [Sample coffee, tea and homemade ethnic desserts from Ghana. All are welcome] Cosmopolitan Club, 307 E. John St., 7:309:30pm, free

KIDS Funfare [stories, songs, puppets, and films for children and their caregivers] Urbana Free Library, 10:30-11am, free

FRIDAY OCT. 21

LIVE MUSIC Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Eclectic Theory The White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Will Rogers Band [country, southern rock covers, originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm2am, $3 Boneyard Jazz Quintet Iron Post, 5-7pm, TBA Billy Galt Tommy G's, 5-7pm, cover

The Prairie Dogs [bluegrass] Cowboy Monkey, 5:30pm, $2 Prelude: Emerson String Quartet with Pacifica Quartet Krannert Center, 6:30pm, free Michael Franti Canopy Club, 7pm, $10 Emerson String Quartet with Pacifica Quartet Krannert Center, 7:30pm, $34 Starlite Ramblers Huber’s, 8pm, free Green Mountain Grass Farewell Show Iron Post, 9pm, TBA Buddy Nuisance, Beat Kitchen, Fotamana Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 Ethel [string quartet] Krannert Center, 10pm, $20 Kelly's Heroes [classic rock covers] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover Dave and Steve Joe’s Brewery, 8-11pm, cover

DJ Dance Party Canopy Club, 10:30pm, TBA

DANCING Western Dancing Prairie Land Dance Club, 7pm, free

SUPPORT GROUPS Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free

KARAOKE Liquid Courage Karaoke The Brickhouse, 10pm2am, TBA Karaoke American Legion Post 71, 8pm-1am, free

LECTURES, MEETINGS, WORKSHOPS Facing the Death Penalty: A Victim’s Conscience [Jennifer Bishop-Jenkins will speak about the effects of the death penalty on victims and society] University YMCA, noon, free

DJ DJ Elise [house, broken beat] Boltini, 6pm, free DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm-2am, TBA DJ Delayney [hip hop, soul] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Randall Ellison [HiNRG, Eurodance, disco, house] Chester St., 10pm, $3 DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover DJ Tim Williams [top 40, hip hop, house, dance] The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Lil Big Bass [drum n bass] Boltini, 10pm, free DJ ImpacT [Chicago deep house] Nargile, 10pm, TBA

OCT. 22

LIVE MUSIC

Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Will Rogers Band [country, southern rock covers, originals] Neil St. Pub, 10pm2am, $3 Everyone Cares for Hurricane Katrina: Seven Year Existence, Warborn, Goretesque, Anew, Resurgence, Fare Thee Well, Awaiting the Arrival, TBA [metal] The Phoenix, 6pm, $5 Urbana Booking Co. presents: Cat Power, Dexter Romweber Canopy Club, 7-9:30pm, $15

KARAOKE Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's, 9pm-1am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke The Brickhouse, 9pm1am, free

Train to be a volunteer advocate for this 28-year-old unique hotline. CCHCC advocates work with consumers having problems with any par t of the health care system. Volunteers work to help consumers solve their immediate health care problems and empower them to be more asser tive and proactive in the future. This is a one-time training oppor tunity to be held on Oct. 26, from 6:008:30 p.m. Dinner will be ser ved at the training. The CCHCC works for local and national health care justice. They are located at 44 E. Main St., Suite 208 in Champaign. Metered parking is free after 5 p.m.

Contrar y to popular belief, Cat Power is not the title given to the militant political movement working for feline rights in America; it’s the musical vehicle for ever y indie rocker’s “biggest crush eva”, the mysterious and alluring Chan Marshall. Chan (pronoun ced Shawn, or Sean, I suppose…) got sick of smelling teen spirit back in the early nineties, dropped out of high school and crossed the Mason-Dixon Line to New York City, looking to make waves in the music scene. She cer tainly has done so throughout her career as Cat Power, being heralded as one of the greatest songwriters in contemporar y music. Her bare bones, minimalistic approach to music abandons the conventional structure of popular music on a darkened doorstep, creating a truly unique and other-worldly sound that is impossible to resist. Not only that, but she’s a major hottie! This Saturday, October 22, Cat Power will be at the Canopy Club showing Urbana that all the hipster hype is true. When Chan performs it’s more than just a concer t, it is an intimate experience with a great ar tist. Her insecurities, fears, loves are all center stage along with her. Her hauntingly beautiful voice emits passion that transcends her songs’ recorded renditions. This solo per formance will surely be an experience, and with a new album slated for release this Januar y, there should be some new tunes to tickle the fancy of the seasoned Cat Power aficionado. Tickets are $15 and the concer t star ts at 7 p.m. Be sure to catch the opener, Dexter Romweber, the rockabilly-blues musician formerly of Flat Duo Jets. –Brian McGover n

MIND, BODY, SPIRIT Wine Tastings Persimmon Grocery, 1pm, $2

BOOK SALE The Urbana-Champaign Books to Prisoners Community Book Sale [More than 10,000 fiction, non-fiction, and children’s books are priced to sell] Lincoln Square Village, 9am-5pm, free

SUNDAY LIVE MUSIC

Salsa Dancing: LatiNation [salsa, merengue, bachata, reggaeton] Sidebar, 11pm, $3 before midnight, $5 after

KIDS Storytime Pages for All Ages, 11am, free

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Sam Shaber, Anne Heaton Farren's, 6pm, $10 The Dave Dickey Band Iron Post, 6-9pm, TBA Timothy Ehlen [piano] Krannert Center, 7:30pm, $6 Openingbands.com Showcase: Deconstructing Jim, Gabe Rosen and the Good Enough Band, TBA Canopy Club, 9pm, TBA Black Light Rebellion, Blackmaker, Sick Day Tommy G's, 9:30pm, cover

OCT. 23

DANCING

Please contact Bill Mueller at wwmuelle@shout.net or by calling (217) 352-6533.

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Cat Power

DJ DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm, TBA DJ Night Paulie's, 9pm, free DJ Tim Williams [top 40, hip hop, house, dance] The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Elise [house] Boltini, 10pm, free DJ White Horse Inn, 10pm, free "G" Force DJ The Brickhouse, 10pm-2am DJ Bozak [broken beat, house, soul] Soma, 10pm, cover DJ Dance Party Canopy Club, 10:30pm, TBA DJ Asiatic, DJ Bobby Skills [hip hop, dance hall, R&B, house] Nargile, 8pm, free before 11pm, $5 after DJ Resonate [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Michael Limacher [dance pop, club house, hip hop] Chester St., 10pm, $5

yyo our favorites in C-U?

Saturday Oct. 22 7 p.m. $15 with Dexter Romweber

Tommy G's, 10pm, cover

SATURDAY

Champaign County Health Care Consumers (CCHCC) - Consumer Health Hotline

What’re

Meridian Green [Americana folk fusion] Pages For All Ages, 7pm, free Rudolf Haken [viola] Krannert Center, 7:30pm, $6 Ethel [string quartet] Krannert Center, 7:30pm, $20 Bruiser & the Virtues Huber’s, 8pm, free Corkscrew After Dark: Sam Shaber Corkscrew Wine Emporium, 8pm, free Lesley Byers and The Jazz Cats [swing] Sidebar, 8pm, TBA The Beauty Shop, Lesser Birds of Paradise, Shipwreck The Courtyard, 8pm, $3 UIUC students, $5 public The Painkillers Iron Post, 9pm, TBA Menthol, Green Light Go, Nadafinga Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 JAB [rock covers]

s c e n e •

The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Liquid Courage Open Mic Night Geovanti's, 8pm-12am, free The Marching Illini in Concert Assembly Hall, 3pm, $7 in advance, $9 at door Timothy McGovern [bassoon] Krannert Center, 3pm, $6

W

hether its your favorite place to eat Chinese

or cuddle up with someone special,

BUZZ wants to know about it!

1

Submit entries of your favorites at readbuzz.com

OR

2

Drop off the attached ballot at The Illini Media building at 57 E. Green.

DJ DJ Wesjile [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Black Ice [hip hop] Nargile, 8pm, TBA Jon Meske [house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free Mike Rocks [live concert videos and local music] Tommy G's, 9:30pm, free DJ Fahey Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free

COMEDY

You can submit entries from now until

Sunday, October 23.

Roseanne Barr Virginia Theatre, 7:30pm, $35 main/mezz, $30 balcony

buzz

05

pg 21

OCT. 20

Ethel [string quartet] Krannert Center, 7:30pm, $20 Reasonable Doubt [acoustic rock] Aroma, 8pm, free Jim Yoshii Pile Up, Pulsar47, C The Courtyard, 8pm, $3 UIUC students/$5 public Urbana Booking Co presents: Milemarker, FireFlies, Tsu Shi Ma Me Re, Hell in the Pacific Canopy Club, 9pm, $8 Weasel Dreams [jazz] Zorba's, 9:30pm, $3 Elsinore CD Release Show: Elsinore, Ambitious Pie Part, Theory of Everything [rock] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 Eclectic Theory Joe's Brewery, 10pm, TBA

puzzle

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THURSDAY

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I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

14 • b u z z w e e k l y

MONDAY OCT. 24

LIVE MUSIC Love & Joy [comedy and live R&B] Canopy Club, 10pm, $3 Motown Mondays: As Is Nargile, 7pm, $5 Jazz Jam with ParaDocs Iron Post, 8-11pm, TBA Chris and Jim [cover band] White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Finga Lickin' The Office, 10:30pm, free Quad Remedy [classic rock] Tommy G’s, 10pm, free Open Mic Night hosted by Mike Ingram [acoustic] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Shovelwrack Clybourne, 10:45pm, free Chris Chandler Channing Murray Foundation, 8pm, $10/$5

DJ DJ Delayney [hip hop, soul] Barfly, 10pm, free Mixtape Mondays: DJ Elise, TBA [house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

NEVER TEST THE DEPTH OF A RIVER WITH BOTH FEET.

DJ XM [jazz & mellow sounds] Nargile, 10pm, free Metal Monday: DJ Punkass, DJ Dirtleg Sidebar, 10pm, $2 Nekromancy: DJ Randall Ellison [industrial, gothic] Chester St. 11pm, $2

TUESDAY OCT. 25

LIVE MUSIC Bluegrass Jam Verde Gallery, 79:30pm, free The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Adam Wolfe's Acoustic Night Tommy G's, 10pm, free Open Stage Espresso Royale Goodwin & Oregon, 8pm, free Larry Gates [acoustic] The White Horse Inn, 9:30pm, free Open Jam/Open Mic hosted by Mike Ingram Canopy Club, 10pm, free if over 21/$2 if under

DJ DJ Reaganomics [80’s requests] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free

Tremblin BG [house] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ JB [hip hop music videos] Nargile, 9pm, free DJ ImpacT [Chicago house] Nargile, 9pm, free Hip Hop DJ Nargile, 10pm, free Subversion presents Dark Hearts Entwined: DJ ZoZo, DJ Evily, DJ TwinScin The Highdive, 10pm, $2 DJ J-Phlip [house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

KARAOKE "G" Force Karaoke Neil St. Pub, 8pm12am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's , 9pm-1am, free

KIDS Storytime Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free

SUPPORT GROUPS Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Heritage Room, Provena Hospital, 7pm, free

POETRY, READINGS, BOOK SIGNINGS Keith Knight ["(th)ink" cartoonist celebrates the release of two new books, "the Passion of the Keef" and "the Beginner's Guide to Community-Based Arts"] South Rec. Room of Allen Hall, 7pm, free

WEDNESDAY OCT. 26

LIVE MUSIC Chambana Jackson’s Ribs-n-Tips, 8-10pm, TBA Ed O'Hare and Friends Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Blues Night: Kilborn Alley Tommy G's, 10pm, free Identity Crisis Iron Post, 5-7pm, TBA Tom Paynter Quartet Iron Post, 8pm, TBA Apollo Poetics: Apollo Project [featuring guest MC's and vocalists] Nargile, 9pm, free Lotus, Family Groove Company Canopy Club, 10pm, $6 Brandon T. Washington Silvercreek, 7pm, free

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buzz weekly •

THERE ARE A LOT OF PERVERTS HERE.

THIS WEEK AT KRANNERT

DJ Chef Ra [roots, reggae] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Stiffler [country, top40 dance, hip hop, rock-n-roll] The Highdive, 8pm, $3 before 10pm, $5 after Contact: DJ Raphael Kroshay [drum n bass night] Nargile, 9pm, free Mix It, Reverse It: DJ Randall Ellison [club house, latin, dancehall, hip hop] Chester St. 9:30pm, free DJ Missus Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, TBA Open Decks Soma, 10pm, TBA DJ Mertz [chilled sounds] Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ Asiatic Joe’s Brewery, 11pm, cover

KARAOKE Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti’s, 10pm-2am, free “G� Force Karaoke TNT Corner Tavern, 8:30pm-12:30am

DANCING Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, free Salsa Dancing [salsa, mambo, bachata] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Western Dancing [lesson at 7:15pm] Prairie Land Dance Club, 7-10pm, free

LECTURES, MEETINGS, WORKSHOPS Sex Sells but Who's Buying? Erotic Imagery on Attic Vases [Lecture by Professor Kathleen Lynch, University of Cincinnati] 62 Krannert Art Museum, 5:30pm, free

FAMILY Babies’ Lap Time Moonlight Edition [stories, songs and rhymes for infants] Urbana Free Library, 6:30-7pm, free

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Altars for the Dead, Vows of the Living exhibition pairs 19th and 20th century devotional ex-voto and retablo paintings from Mexico with contemporary Day of the Dead altars. Altares para los muertos, votos de los vivos combina pinturas piadosas de los siglos 19 y 20 con altares contemporaneous del Dia de los Muertos Opening reception, Oct. 21, 5-7 pm featuring Mariachi Band Zelaya through Dec. 31 Krannert Art Museum, Tue-Sat 9am5pm, Thurs 9am-9 pm, Sun 2pm-5 pm Balance and Power: Performance and Surveillance in Video Art At a time when the nation is preoccupied with heightened security and surveillance and the public is fascinated by Reality TV with its open and surreptitious video exposure of participants, the boundaries between performance, voluntary acting for the camera, and surveillance, involuntary recording on camera by power systems with an interest in the movement of citizens, become blurred. This exhibition, which examines both the early days of video art and current practices, is an attempt to understand the complex relationship between the issues of performance, surveillance and power. Included in the exhibition are works by some of the earliest practitioners, large-scale installations, newly commissioned pieces, and the premiere of Jordan Crandall's new film, Homefront. Balance and Power will be installed in two locations: in public areas at the Thomas M. Siebel Center for Computer Science and at Krannert Art Museum. The Siebel Center regularly features contemporary art installations employing state-of-theart equipment integrated into the building. Installations at the Siebel Center periodically may be unavailable. through Dec. 31 Krannert Art Museum, Tue-Sat 9am5pm, Thurs 9am-9pm, Sun 2pm-5pm Eye, Form, Symbol: The Jon and Judith Liebman Collection of Contemporary Sculpture in Glass Glass as a sculptural medium has an impressive range of creative potential. Eye, Form, Symbol, an exhibition drawn from Jon and Judith Liebman's extensive collection of contemporar y sculpture in glass, features pieces that attract the eye with radiant sur faces or jewel-like appeal; empha-

size bold sculptural forms with worked sur faces, brilliant color, and unions with solid materials; and captivate the imagination with symbolic meaning. This exhibition profiles more than 30 internationally renowned glass ar tists. Their techniques for handling this ancient medium result in contemporar y sculptures of unprecedented brilliance and tremendous breadth of ar tistic expression. through Dec. 31 Krannert Art Museum, Tue-Sat 9am5pm, Thurs 9am-9pm, Sun 2pm-5pm

4H /CT

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Artwork from Katie Jacobson and Nisha Agha photographic screenprints and other media Aroma Cafe through Nov. 1

,A 4RAVIATA

%THEL 4ALKBACK !BOUT PM FREE

"Y 'IUSEPPE 6ERDI %DUARDO $IAZMUĂ—OZ CONDUCTOR (ENSON +EYS DIRECTOR

Sleep Series acrylic paintings by local artist Samantha Singer Cafe kopi through Nov. 1

4HURSDAY 3ATURDAY .OVEMBER AT PM 3UNDAY .OVEMBER AT PM

Latitude and Longitude new prints, collages and artist’s books by Dennis Rowan Cinema Gallery through Nov. 5 Mon-Sun 10am-4pm

h4HIS IS 6ERDI S MOST PERSONAL AND HUMAN TRAGIC OPERAˆNO CHARACTERS FROM MYTHOLOGY NO HEROES NO GODDESSESˆJUST mAWED HUMAN BEINGS TRYING TO lND LOVE IN A DIFlCULT WORLD v (ENSON +EYS

Portraits, Faces and Figures portraits 0by Gloria Christine Severin, Jeannine Bestoso, Andy Gillis, Erin Gillis, and Mark Reutter using pencil, charcoal, watercolor and many others Creation Art Studios, Tue-Fri 1-5:30pm, Sat 1-4pm

6IOLETTA 6ALĂ?RY NEVER IMAGINED THAT SHE D TRADE THE GAY LIFE OF THE SALON FOR TRUE LOVE AND COUNTRY LIVING (ER mEETING REVERIE TURNS INTO HEART WRENCHING SACRIlCE WHEN !LFREDO S FATHER PERSUADES HER TO BREAK OFF THE AFFAIR SO AS NOT TO BESMIRCH HIS SON S SOCIETY REPUTATION %VERY INTENSE EMOTION OF THESE CHARACTERS IS HEIGHT ENED THROUGH 'IUSEPPE 6ERDI S MAGNIlCENT MUSIC

I lloutuve wyou too paintings and drawings by S. J. Hart Humanities Lecture Hall, IPRH, 805 West Pennsylvania Avenue through Oct. 28 Commercial/Visions/Personal/Illustrations illustrations by Chris Sickels, Luba Lukova, Hugh Kretschmer, Brian Cronin and Jean Tuttle Parkland Art Gallery through Oct. 27. Visit http://vir tual.parkland.edu/gds/illustrators/exhibition.html for gallery hours

3UNG IN )TALIAN WITH %NGLISH SURTITLES &LEX 3# 3TU 5) 9TH 3INGLE 3# 3TU 5) 9TH

Life Drawing Sessions drop in sessions to practice and improve your life drawing skills Sundays from 1-4pm at the Independent Media Center, $8. Contact Kindra Crick at 352-4668; kindredspark@gmail.com for details.

2UDOLF (AKEN VIOLA PM .INE PM %THEL PM

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ƒ .ORTH AND +RANNERT #ENTER WORKING TOGETHER TO PUT #HAMPAIGN #OUNTY S CULTURE ON THE MAP

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IF YOU GOOGLE ‘EXPLODING WHALE’, YOU WILL FIND REAL FOOTAGE OF A WHALE BEING BLOWN UP.

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Capturing “Inner Voices� EMILY COTTERMAN

PA R A S O L T O P T E N MOJO

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"Y *OHN 'UARE ,YNN !NN "ERNATOWICZ DIRECTOR

0IANIST !NGELA (EWITT GAVE HERSELF TEN YEARS TO RECORD ALL OF THE MAJOR KEYBOARD WORKS OF *OHANN 3EBASTIAN "ACH FOR (YPERION .OW THAT SHE HAS COMPLETED THIS PROJECT SHE IS BEING ACKNOWLEDGED AS THE hPRE EMINENT "ACH PIANIST OF OUR TIME v !NGELA (EWITT PRESENTS "OOK ) OF "ACH S 7ELL 4EMPERED #LAVIER IN HER lRST +RANNERT #ENTER PERFORMANCE

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“M

y roommate is a lesbian?â€? Lauren Rodriguez’s and stopped having sex years ago, just like in any straight marriage. staffing. “That’s phenomenal!â€? exclaimed Morrissette. The character asks incredulously in the first few minutes of the On opening night, Oct. 13, at the Armory Free Theatre, the Inner Voices: Social Issues Theatre program has three classes: performance. There is a beat. “I’m a lesbian too!â€? Rodriguez discussion touched briefly on different points made by the plays, Social Issues Theatre (Theatre 418) focuses on actor training, shouts happily and the two women embrace. including the assumption that everyone is straight, the impact of script writing, and performing; Leading Post-Performance The Inner Voices: Social Issues Theatre ensemble is presenting negative, derogatory language, and the idea that coming out Dialogue (Theatre 417) develops the skills to facilitate discus“Out and About in Americaâ€? which “addresses Lesbian, Gay, can inspire others. sions between the audience and casts on social issues; Inner Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning and Allies (LGBTQA) conThe plays are funny, thoughtful and bring up good examples Voices: Social Issues Theatre Ensemble (Theatre 400M) consists cerns including authenticity, homophobia and heterosexism and of people dealing with their sexuality and those already accus- of the actors and discussion facilitators. The program began in the roles that allies can play in creating a just community for tomed to it.The only disappointment was the audience. During the spring of 1995 as a way of addressing binge drinking on everyoneâ€? according to the Inner Voices Web site.The many per- the second play, whenever Keenan mentioned his attraction to college campuses. Sponsored by McKinley Health Center, the formances on campus initiate discussions about sexuality after the Ben’s great thighs and arms, there were distinct “ughsâ€? heard. Counseling Center, and the UIUC Theatre Department, the show in which the audience and The plays are discreet, not Social Issues Theatre performances promote a healthy social cast can voice their opinions. graphic; Keenan’s admission environment at the U of I. Past productions have centered on There are three plays that of looking at Ben in a sexual body image, diversity, drug and alcohol addiction, abusive relaencompass “Out and About in nature is an important ele- tionships, racism,and sexual assault. buzz [homosexuality] fits well America.â€?The first is a meeting of ment in the discovery of his students in a residence hall, called homosexuality. Despite ... it’s a taboo subject There will be several more performances across campus: together by the R.A. over a rumor attending a play about homoOct. 20 at 8 p.m. at the Florida Avenue Residence Halls; that someone is gay. Eventually, sexuality, the obvious discoOct. 25 at 8 p.m. at the Illini Orange Snack bar, Oct. 26 Lauren Rodriguez• InnerVoices everyone admits to being homomfort of some audience at 9 p.m. at Lincoln Avenue Residence Hall, and Oct. 27 sexual, except for one girl who is members reveals the prejudice at 8 p.m. at Allen Hall’s south recreation room.The show then teased for being “hetero.â€? that still exists within society. is free and open to the public. For any more information, Sitting in the audience, the actors Mike Conley, who plays contact Morrissette at 217-244-5919 or jump up one by one and claim their sexuality, capturing the idea Josh Keenan, says that the productions “give us a chance to tackinnervoices@uiuc.edu The INNER VOICES website is that homosexuals are just regular people, too. le issues that we wouldn’t normally talk about.â€? www.innervoices.uiuc.edu The second play, “Josh Keenan Comes Out to the Worldâ€? The idea that Inner Voices focuses on prevalent but potendelves into Keenan’s discovery that he’s gay when he finds him- tially uncomfortable issues is a resounding theme. self attracted to one of his guy friends, Ben. However, he fears Rodriguez explained that coming out to his friends, let alone admitting that it’s okay to be homosexuality is a good topic gay. He tries to cover it up, dating a girl to convince himself he’s for Inner Voices. “It fits well straight and to keep his friends from being suspicious. However, ‌ it’s a taboo subject.â€? For his pesky conscience P.J., the embodiment of a stereotypical gay her, the performances give man, wearing a tiara with the word “FAGâ€? in glitter, keeps pop- the fodder and the place to ping up, reminding Keenan of who he really is. Eventually, with talk about the issues during the support of his true friends, Keenan does come out and the discussions. accept his homosexuality. The play’s real spirit is in the mental Assistant Program Cooanguish Keenan either endures or puts upon himself by imagin- rdinator J.W. Morrissette says ing the worst outcomes. Keenan shows the emotional turmoil that part of the reason that people face when realizing their true identity, which is made Inner Voices chose homoeven worse for the character growing up in high school with his sexuality for the fall semester bigoted guy friends. production was because NatThe final one, “Marga Gomez is Pretty, Witty and Gayâ€? is ional Coming Out Day was a monologue by Rodriguez where she asks that you just call her Oct. 11. Morrissette is also a “dyke.â€? She discusses how many talk shows are focused around happy that the university has gays and how there doesn’t seem to be the same fascination with taken a giant step forward by straights. By agreeing to go on a talk show herself, she’s complet- giving more funding to the ing her “lesbian jury duty.â€? She lists the similarities between Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and (from left) Mike Conley, Eric Siegel, Kevin Reader, and Vince Pham, members of the Inner Voices straight and gay marriages - it’s just that hers isn’t legally binding. Transgender Concerns Social Issues Theatre Ensemble, preform a scene from "Josh Keenan Comes Out to the World" on She says she and her partner live together, sleep in the same bed, office, which now has full Thursday night in the Armory Free Theatre.

4HURSDAY 3ATURDAY .OVEMBER AT P 7EDNESDAY 3ATURDAY .OVEMBER AT PM 3UNDAY .OVEMBER AT PM h) THINK ARTISTS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ASKING DIFlCULT QUESTIONS AND ) BELIEVE IN THE IMMENSE POWER OF THEATRE TO BOTH HEAL AND SPARK DEBATE v ,YNN !NN "ERNATOWICZ )NSPIRED BY A TRUE STORY *OHN 'UARE S SATIRIC DRAMA FOLLOWS THE TRAIL OF A YOUNG BLACK CON ARTIST WHO INSINUATES HIMSELF INTO THE LIVES OF A WELL HEELED .EW 9ORK COUPLE BY CLAIMING HE KNOWS THEIR CHILDREN FROM COLLEGE #OMICALLY EXPLORING RACE SEXUALITY AND OUR DESPERATE NEED FOR PERSONAL CONNECTION THE TITLE OF THE PLAY REFERS TO THE STATISTICAL THEORY THAT ANY TWO PEOPLE IN THE WORLD CAN BE LINKED THROUGH A CHAIN OF EXACTLY SIX ACQUAINTANCES #ONTAINS ADULT THEMES AND STRONG LANGUAGE &LEX 3# 3TU 5) 9TH 3INGLE 3# 3TU 5) 9TH

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h4HE PIANIST WHO WILL DElNE "ACH PERFORMANCE ON PIANO FOR YEARS TO COME v 3TEREOPHILE

!RT IN #ONVERSATION 4"! - Let’s Dance To Our Own Beats

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STAFF WRITER

TESSA PELIAS

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16 • b u z z w e e k l y

WAIT TILL YOU SEE MY EY!!

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You were an Architecture student, then got a second degree in Metallurgy, correct? Why the switch?

I got my Bachelor of Science in Architectural Studies, but took a summer class in Metals/Jewelry to fulfill a 3-D arts requirement. I liked it so much I stayed two extra years to explore that and other art forms, including ceramics, glass and painting and larger sculpture. I don't see it as a switch however; all human creation may be considered art, and all human manipulations of matter may be considered sculpture, including architecture. The changes occur in material, scale, and context. Now, I have the freedom to explore methods and details I would probably never have the chance to do in the field of architecture.

2 6 , 2 OO5

buzz weekly •

FACE IT. YOUR FRATERNITY’S SHOWER ISN’T EXACTLY THE BEST MOODSETTER.

OV e RTiME

TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

KYLE GORMAN

You seem to have steady business catering to fans of the Occult, but you also frequently make fine jewelry. When you make things for yourself, not for sale, what inspires you? What "genre," if there is such a thing in jewelry, do you follow when making things for your own enjoyment?

Little China. I find my tastes in art lately gravitating towards the paintings you find on old action figure packaging and sci-fi horror paperbacks. I love to paint with oils, design and construct my own furniture (mainly to house my collections of various types), write, and sketch. All these activities help to spill out a visual language locked in my head, at which I should hopefully be fluent by the time I retire.

Inspirations for my own pieces stem from a variety of ancient and sometimes mystic sources, fictional cosmic weirdness (specifically works of H.P. Lovecraft I am not theistic, and similar literature), and theoretical physics. I use a lot of precious materials not just for I am NOT nationbeauty, but for durability, as art becomes my feeble attempt for immortality. Overall, I enjoy alistic, I am NOT producing works of archaic splendor, suitable Republican for a battle worn aristocracy of heightened spiritual awareness. But I work spontaneously, Nathan Maurer • metal artist so I have many pieces that have been underway for over a year; I'm patient. How do you get your name out there? How do customers typically find you?

Most of my customers have found me through eBay sales, although I have had some contact me through plain Internet searches. It's tough for any artist to infiltrate the gallery system, so the Internet coupled with good marketing makes for a sustainable personal gallery, at least for now.

Where can people in Champaign find your work?

As I am currently the sole distributor of everything I create, the only source is www.carvedmetal.com. It's still undergoing some construction, but my webmaster and I continuously add new things to view (and purchase).

The last question is always lame. So, here's my version of it: Give me three words that DO NOT describe you.

I am NOT theistic, I am NOT nationalistic, I am NOT republican.

You have loyal customers from several different countries, but you keep a "day job." Do you strive to have your own shop some day and only do that?

Definitely; someday I will design and build a gallery with production facilities and attached living quarters. I have a lot of neat ideas for that already, despite having no clue where the final site is located.Once I can manage to begin that phase, I will be fully employed by myself.

The 15th annual Great Cover Up has been postponed from November 2005 to January 2006.Temple of Low Men, due to headline Nov. 3 at The Highdive, now will play that night at Cowboy Monkey. Arun Bhalla, drummer for The Opportunists and Humpty Dumpster, relocated Oct. 10 to San Francisco with fiancée Jane Andrew for a career with a software engineering company. Arun and Jane were active at Urbana-Champaign Independent Media Center and will be missed widely. They will visit next May. As Arun left, though, Humpty Dumpster (and Echolalia) lead singer Amelia Bowen returned to town after a stint in Santa Rosa. Humpty Dumpster disbanded in June 2003 at Cowboy Monkey. Besides being in Humpty Dumpster together and moving to California afterward, Arun and Amelia were airshifters at WEFT 90.1 FM. Bluegrasss mainstay and WPGU-Buzz Best Roots/Americana Band 2005 nominee Green Mountain Grass plays its farewell show tomorrow at the Iron Post at 9 p.m.Three-fourths of the band is moving to Texas: guitarist Turtle and native Texans mandolinist Dave Wilmoth and banjoist Spencer Savoie. Upright bassist Quinn Bailey will remain in Illinois. Fellow WPGU-Buzz Best Roots/Americana Band 2005 nominee elsinore introduces elsinore on display: a live CD tonight at Cowboy Monkey.Also aboard are Ambitious Pie Party and Theory of Everything. Show time is 10 p.m., and cover is $4. The disc consists of eight songs from the July 23 set

at Jackson Ave. Coffee in Charleston and the Aug. 15 set on WEFT Sessions. Six of the songs are otherwise unavailable until release of the full-length underway with Mark Rubel and Carl Lund at Pogo Studio.A separate Charleston release for elsinore on display: a live CD is Tuesday at Jackson Ave. Coffee. Show time is 7 p.m., and admission is free. elsinore plays again with Granian (Garen Gueyikian) Oct. 30 at Cowboy Monkey. Show time is 9:30 p.m., and cover is $5. Saturday at Cowboy Monkey, new-wave favorite Menthol plays its first hometown show since July 2004 with Green Light Go and Nadafinga. Show time is 10 p.m., and cover is $5. Earlier Saturday, The Courtyard presents The Beauty Shop with The Lesser Birds of Paradise and Shipwreck at 8 p.m., and cover is $5 ($3 with UIUC ID). Occasional local and singer-songwriter Gabe Rosen has a new act: Gabe Rosen and the Good Enough Band, with drummer Jim Landeck and keyboardist Eric Chase.The trio makes its UrbanaChampaign debut Sunday for the OpeningBands showcase at the Canopy Club. Headlining is Deconstructing Jim, whose album The Further,The Better came out July 23 on Half Empty Records. Show time is 10 p.m., and admission is free.

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Robert “The Old Timer” Kent McConkey - (1935-2005) The Old Timer, as he was known, graduated from University High in 1956. He ran a cab service and worked as an Urbana dogcatcher, but he was best known for several radio shows, first on WKID, a set on WWHP-FM 98.3 and a long-running show on Champaign’s WEFT-FM 90.1. He could be heard hosting the Country Jamboree on WEFT from 5-8p.m. on Saturdays since the ’80s. The Jamboree featured only the most authentic of old-timey music, and McConkey used his on-air time to both entertain and educate listeners about the music he loved. He was a legend of good taste and charm. WEFT representatives claim that he was the DJ who brought in the most money during pledge drives, and his voice echoed through garages and shops all around town. He was 70.

Todd J. Hunter hosts WEFT Sessions and Champaign Local 901, two hours of local music every Monday at 10 PM on WEFT 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com. Support your scene to preserve your scene. Common has dropped out of Kanye West’s “Touch The Sky” tour just hours before it began, and only weeks before he was scheduled to appear at Champaign’s Assembly Hall. Sorry hipsters, there won’t be any ticket refunds, just kick back and pop some Cristal during Kanye’s set.

album REVIEW Sam Ashworth

Gonna Get It Wrong Before I Get It Right

Tell me what else you enjoy in terms of style of music/movies/art. Do you dabble in other mediums besides jewelry to express yourself?

BY JARON BIRKAN

While snarkiness seems to be the rule of the day in modern popular music, there are still musicians out there willing to write bright-eyed pop songs. Sam Ashworth is one of these, a songsmith who allows his work to simmer as it progresses, never veering into irony or acrimony. Along those lines, Ashworth shows a clear reverence for modern indie pop gods The Shins, whose modest prodigiousness he tries to recreate on his debut Gonna Get It Wrong Before I Get It Right. Ashworth’s background in Nashville’s burdgeoning indie scene aids him immensely here, as that city’s down-home pride permeates every song on this enjoyable album. Nevertheless, Ashworth is by no means the most talented songwriter and tends to mine only the surface of his issues, usually focusing mostly on creating a pleasing melody. These tend towards simplicity, usually consisting of a twangy guitar and Ashworth’s lilting whisper. Naturally, with these techniques, Ashworth is at his best when he is at his most poignant, especially in “Children’s Leap,” the album’s highlight and a peerless example of subtle sentimentality. That’s not to say Ashworth can’t engage in a little bit of raucousness now and again.“Look Back” is a number so charged it could almost be a power pop song. For him, though, this rambunctiousness is understated and rough-hewn; he never strays too far from his southern gentleman roots. Even “Look Back” has its soft points and vulnerabilities; Ashworth’s voice never matches the force of the music and the lyrics are decidedly self-conscious. What befalls Ashworth, as it does many other pop artists, is his tendency to take himself too seriously. Unlike his idols, he never allows a bon mot to slip in underneath the poignancy in order to offset the inherent pathos in his songs. As such, the album can tend to slacken. At points it even tends to revel in its languidness, revealing Ashworth as a songwriter who, stripped of his neuroses, is actually quite sure of himself. A dichotomy like this does not hurt Ashworth, but rather makes the album that much more layered, enjoyable and, dare we say it, snarky. s o u n d s

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w H at tH e He L L? MOMENT OF THE WEEK

Runway Network

My tastes in music and movies are all over the place, from Steely Dan to Bethlehem, from Taxi Driver to Big Trouble in

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this week in music

STAFF WRITER

Nathan Maurer learned to walk and talk in Texas, but moved to Illinois in third grade. Watching an elderly Texan neighbor carve wood inspired him as a child to experiment with 3-D art, and he has enjoyed it ever since. He considers himself lucky to have the opportunity to pursue two art degrees from U of I. He believes that his only artistic limitation is his budget. Nathan currently creates both fine jewelry and esoteric items for loyal clients. He can be reached at www.carvedmetal.com.

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soundground #97

ar tist’s corner Nathan Maurer MATT HOFFMAN

OC T. 2O

Where can you find David Byrne in Stockholm? I came up blank looking for him reading dada-esque poetry in café-bars. Turns out he was at his factory the whole time. The former Talking Head has completed his newest project, an egalitarian installation art piece. Playing The Building allows visitors to control crashing hammers, tuned pipes played by steam, and loud engines by mean of an accessible organ. Byrne hopes to explain to patrons that the art elite isn’t always trying to put one over on them.

WANNA PUT

Paying Cash for Your In-Style Spring and Summer Clothing

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IN YOUR POCKET

Mon-Fri. Saturday 10-8 10-6

Sunday noon-5

NO WAITING for Your Items to Sell. WE PAY CASH ON THE SPOT 29 E. Marketview Dr.

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A CAB TO OBLIVION

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AND THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS ...

18+!

DCFC AT FOELLINGER AUDITORIUM KYLE GORMAN

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• STAFF WRITER

708 S. Goodwin U rbana, IL 344-BAND 344-BAND

Jay Goldberg Events & Entertainment Presents:

Michael

www.canopyclub.com

Franti

Thursday, Oct 20 PHOTO BY AUSTIN HAPPEL

PICKING APART THE PILE-UP IMRAN SIDDIQUEE

“I

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STAFF WRITER

PHOTO COURTESY OF JYPU.NET

was just trying to be honest.” That’s how Paul Gonzenbach, lead singer of the Jim Yoshii Pile-Up, describes their latest record, and it’s a statement that is forcefully proven to anyone who actually sits down and listens to their latest album, Picks Us Apart. Many critics have lazily labeled the band as “emo” or “Death Cab-esque” but not only are these comparisons way off, they provide the reader with little insight into what Jim Yoshii (named after a childhood friend) are really about. “I think what you get compared to has nothing to do with what you are doing, it’s easier for people if you have some way to categorize bands. But I think it would be better to look back a little further to find comparisons.We weren’t listening to Death Cab when we where growing up.” Instead, Gonzenbach is influenced by a wide variety of styles, particularly British bands of the 80s and early 90s. With each record, the band has ventured into new territory, and on Picks Us Apart the group moves away from the melancholic droning guitars that distinguished their first album and instead wrap their songs in sunny pop melodies. But that’s not to say this isn’t a melancholic record. “We decided, well we wanted to try something different. The lyrics were going to be pretty over the top dark, so I think it (the music) sort of tempers the lyrics. But, this isn’t party music by any means.” The result is a deeply personal record for Gonzenbach, a work that struggles with issues of depression, anger and suppressed desire. Yet, he insists that first and foremost he and the band are about making music, and that lyrics like

“to my father…I leave a blood-stained mattress,” are often metaphorical or strictly about telling a story. “My first and most important goal is to make a good record, if I was going in there for myself that would be selfish. For me there isn’t therapy value, if you need therapy go to a therapist.” Yet, the songwriter’s inherent lyrical honesty struggles to be separated from the musical proficiency displayed in the songs. Gonzenbach has dealt with depression, and the opening song, from which the aforementioned lyrics are quoted, is a compilation of suicide notes he had written. Often these songs resonate with a hidden anger, and when true feelings emerge it creates an amazing amount of emotional intensity. “When you are dealing with something like this, you are in an altered state, you aren’t looking at everything with any understanding, and everybody is either too smothering or not helping enough. I think that a lot of suicide feelings are really intense feelings of anger, and anger outwards.” The passion behind the words and music on the record are reflected in the live performance as well, where the Pile-Up transplants some of that anger from the record into moving drama. And so when he tells the story of a fictional inmate on Jailhouse Rock “you will spend the next ten years/regretting the last six months,” you can’t help but think that there is a bit of Gonzenbach’s own experience in that line. “I don’t think mental illness ever really goes away, but I certainly didn’t want to make this to drive anyone deeper into depression, and at the same time I didn’t want to make a Lifetime movie.” The album is never shy about facing the realities of life, but many often miss the other social commentaries that Gonzenbach makes apart from his ruminations on depression; mainly issues of homosexuality. “I wish that would be acknowledged, or talked about a bit more. Most of the people who listen aren’t gay, but I do wish that they were sometimes, in some ways it does kind of bother me.” Any artist working within the realms that Gonzenbach and company travel through are bound to make some listeners uncomfortable. But it’s something that the band isn’t shy about, and as long as Gonzenbach continues to write with the same combination of vitriol and honesty, their music will remain significant. buzz

Milemarker, Milemarker

Tsu Shi Ma Mi Re, Fireflies & Hell in the Pacific Friday, Friday, Oct 21

, 7 pm Jay Goldberg Events & Entertainment Presents:

Michael

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Saturday, Friday, Oct 22, Oct. 217 7pmpm

year ago, many others and I would have been overjoyed to catch Death Cab For Cutie in concert. After leader Ben Gibbard’s side project experienced such mainstream success, more pseudo-indie press than money could buy on The OC and making a jump from Seattle’s fiercely independent Barsuk Records to Atlantic, you’d think there’d be some drama. But there isn’t any. No drug addiction has haunted the band, no supermodel girlfriends have satisfied the band, and surprisingly few sell-out accusations have been levied against their first record with Atlantic, the satisfying but middle-of-the-road Plans. Many people I spoke with before the show felt no excitement or tension about the performance; it was as if they were paying a debt to a band they had once felt devoted too. Thus when Death Cab For Cutie rolled into Foellinger’s Auditorium, it felt a year too late. Not all fans seemed to feel this way, though. For many it was clearly the social event of the year; the large theatre lobby remained full during Aussie openers Youth Group’s somewhat bland set of mid-tempo rock. It’s not like anyone doubts Gibbard’s earnestness, either. Despite of his awkward stage presence, which features his short, squat frame waddling to either side of the mic swinging guitar in hand, it’s hard to discount the honesty in his voice, and there’s the sound of tragedy to be discerned; lyrically, Gibbard has revealed his existential crisis to be paternal neglect. Like many groups, though, the ties between band and audience seemed to be that Gibbard’s songs are never too personal to prevent listeners from adopting the vague crises of Gibbard to their own. This is not my own subjective theory, but a metric easily measured by counting the percentage of fans throwing back their shoulders and mouthing the lyrics. Indeed, the crowd seemed to be stick together remarkably tight despite a diverse crowd of white Greeks, white punks, and white English-school preps. What made up these ties, it seemed, was something personal: couples for whom Death Cab’s songs index something stronger than memories alone, adolescent hormones. This ability to be assimilated isn’t necessarily a problem, though; in addition to selling records, it gives Gibbard the chance to turn metaphors all over the place, as he did in newer, softer single, “Soul Meets Body,” where the band really rocked the wordless chorus. Multi-instrumentalist/producer Chris Walla (stage left) is acting music director for the occasional atmospherics. There was no denying the beauty in the band’s performance of one of their best songs to date, “A Movie Script Ending,” or that they can rock out (granted, they did so only rarely and in a calculated fashion), but fans who may have be unfamiliar with some of the more muscular, older material appeared impressed. In the end, though, there wasn’t a single surprise the entire night, and I left thirsty for something that was as bewildering as the first time I heard Gibbard’s voice one Sunday morning. Death Cab, if you want to really win us over, try alienating us first. buzz

Yuppie Approved. Sunday, Oct 23

BUZZ PRESENTS

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OpeningBands.com presents: Deconstructing Jim, Scheflo, Gabe Rosen Wednesday, Oct 26

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Monday, oct 31 Boo Brass 2005 with

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YOU WANT SOME OF THIS MILK SIDEBURNS?

7

Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

or cuddle up with someone special,

For the next week cineastes (or cinephiles) in the C-U area are

in for a rare treat because the great Swedish director Ingmar Bergman’s newest film Saraband, his first in nearly a quarter century, will be featured at Boardman’s Art Theatre. Most contemporary students will likely have never heard of this great film artist or his many fine works, since his last film Fanny and Alexander, was released in 1983. What’s even more fascinating is that the 87-year-old Bergman decided to make his first sequel. Saraband is actually the continued tale of the husband and wife pair he introduced first to Swedish television and later as a feature length film, both called Scenes From a Marriage in 1973. Marianne and Johan were a nearly ideal 1970s professional family, lawyer and professor respectively, who had two daughters and a charming lifestyle until infidelity and other conflicts ruined their marriage. Saraband picks up on this tale 32 years after their divorce, and remarkably Bergman was able to retain his two stars from the original film, Liv Ullmann and Erland Josephson. Unlike the deeply profound medieval allegory of his 1957 classic, The Seventh Seal, or the psychological indictment of one’s spirituality in his Oscar-winning Through a Glass Darkly, Bergman tells this new story with a casual pace. Borrowing some of the narrative style of his favorite playwright, August

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His television roots are very noticeable in the film. Whedon has yet to master the widescreen and many times it seems like a television show on the silver screen. But there are many television shows that are vastly superior to films currently playing at theaters. Serenity is a niche film but audiences with an open mind and a taste for adventure will be taken to a universe like no other. Prepared to be pleasantly surprised.

SARABAND • JULIA DUFVENIUS & BORJE AHISTEDT

church depicts her listening to a painful exhortation by Henrik. In another touching scene late in the film, Marianne poignantly embraces Johan, who has awoken from sleep feeling profoundly full of angst. Shot in soft light, and with discrete sensitivity, it is one of the more mature scenes of sensual caring ever shown on screen with senior actors.Again, it’s the performances of the veterans of the master’s acting stable, Ullman and Josephson, that are in top form, without the Hallmark card sentimentality of films like On Golden Pond. Saraband, whose title refers to the musical piece that young Karin plays before one of the story’s main climaxes, is a powerfully sensitive film that is supposed to mark the swan song of one of the world’s greatest film makers.

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SYD SLOBODNIK• STAFF WRITER

Strindberg, he weaves a sensitive and simple tale in 10 distinct scenes plus a prologue and epilogue, narrated by a now 63-year -old Marianne. While looking over a table of unframed family photos, Marianne tells us she was motivated by a whim or “irrational impulse” to discover how her now 83-year-old ex-husband and first love is doing after all the years. The still elegant Ullmann, no longer the fresh-faced strawberry blonde of her early ingénue years, slowly reveals a compelling tale of renewed friendships, new understandings with family members and restored faith in deep human emotions that bind us in significant life long relationships. Each of the 10 episodes pairs one of the story’s four main characters in a rather intimate match up of thoughts and emotions that link them together as family. After a short husband-wife reunion in the first scene Bergman introduces Johan’s elderly son Henrik, a professional musician and widower who is still mourning his wife’s passing, and granddaughter, Karin, a radiant young cello player who wants to study music seriously and make decisions on her own, but can’t face leaving her potentially suicidal father alone. Characters interact through intimate discussions revealing hopes, fears, and other desires while discovering new insights on their long-lasting and sometimes new-found relationships. Bergman’s screenplay, much like the original, focuses on characters’ search for revelations in these impassioned scenes. No filmmaker was so skillful as Bergman with the use of the long take close up. In several scenes Bergman’s camera lingers on Ullmann’s face, wrinkled with lines of maturity, as her eyes tell pages of past emotional experience without much spoken dialogue. In one such scene a softly framed shot of Marianne in a small

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S

erenity is the continuation of Joss Whedon’s Space-Western television series, Firefly, which was grossly mishandled and prematurely cancelled on the Fox Network.The series centered on Capt. Malcolm Reynolds and the crew members of the ship Serenity.They are thieves, bandits, fugitives and friends making a life in a new system of planets after Earth over-populated. The film’s plotline concludes the Firefly series’ mystery. This involves the fugitives Dr. Simon Tam and his sister River, who has been tortured and experimented on by the Alliance, the government system of the planets. Serenity does an excellent job setting up the film in the first 10 minutes so it is unnecessary for audiences to have seen the television show in order to understand the movie. For most audiences, this is their introduction to the wonderful and imaginative creator, Joss Whedon. He is a writer of sharp wit and masterfully-crafted storytelling and loves playing with convention. The plot leads its characters to surprising results which keep the audience guessing, always being one

1 20TH CENTURY FOX

RANDY MA • STAFF WRITER

BUZZ wants to know about it!

20TH CENTURY FOX

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step ahead of them but not insulting their intelligence. Whedon knows how to create deep emotional tales in a dubious environment where Western slang is the dominant dialect and Mandarin Chinese is spoken in place of what would be considered “colorful” language. There are showdowns, bank robberies, desert chases and space battles. In a universe that is insanely wacky there is a surprising amount of realism. For instance, all of the action in space, outside of an atmosphere, is completely absent of sound except for the composed score.There is romance, revelation, and the most important aspect of Whedon’s writing: heart. This is a writer that loves human drama and believes in consequences for every action. His characters have emotional weight and, more importantly, chemistry. Whedon has an eye for actors and loves to stretch their abilities for the good of his characters. Ironically, it’s this kind of attention and love that the film misses, primarily in the romance between his characters. There were many unanswered questions after the cancellation of Firefly and all of them cannot be answered in a two-hour movie. Serenity is about River Tam and many of the storylines of the other characters had to take a backseat for the film.The romances between several of the characters require more time than Serenity can dedicate to them. Before, Whedon would have two to three seasons of television for a romantic connection to grow but here he only has a few minutes away from the primary storyline.

What’re

Whether its your favorite place to eat Chinese

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YOU’RE THE STAR OF THE SHOW, SPOTLIGHT OPERATOR!

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seth fein THE LOCAL SNIFF

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DOMINO

And God said “Let there be disappointed Cards fans everywhere!�

tioned Darko, Kelly seems obsessed with cramming as many half-baked ideas and characters into his movies as humanly possible, creating a fragmented storyline that totally loses focus of its ideas, and more importantly, its main character. Director Tony Scott doesn’t help the matter with his schizophrenic cinematography that veers in and out of digital video and film. The flashy editing and abrupt style of the film resemble Scott’s previous effort, Man on Fire. At least there we could tell what was going on and what Denzel was doing. The man who gave us Top Gun is intent on blasting his hyperkinetic style on audiences whether we like it or not. Domino resembles a cutting edge music video more than a linear story.While the innovative style is commendable, Mr. Scott should either lay off the caffeine or stop tripping out on DOMINO • KEIRA KNIGHTLEY psychedelic drugs. As often as the words “revolutionaryâ€? and “originalâ€? are tossed around, Domino is closely akin to True Romance, another Scott film scripted by Quentin Tarantino. However, an accurate appraisal of Domino would link it closer to Oliver Stone’s violent satire, Natural Born Killers. So is Domino totally original? Its satirical elements obviously poke fun at our nation’s obsession with sex, violence and all things Knightley, which is very clever, but ultimately the whacked-out plot ruins a story that should have been brilliant. There’s an opening disclaimer that reads: based on a true story. Sort of. Because the story is nothing more than a glossedover version of reality, the filmmakers have taken certain liberties in telling Domino Harvey’s tale. For example, the real Domino does not look like Ms. Knightley. And wouldn’t

Oh, Coulter - you were SO very off ...

FIRST SNIFF Let is be known that I am NOT a fair-weather fan. Not this year or any year. I am a Cubs fan. And while I know that there are some Cubs fans out there that would say that I am full of shit for stating that I am proud of the Southsiders, I don’t really care. I am proud.They really deserve it and this only goes to show that anything can happen in baseball. Including the Cubbies in 2006. I feel it in my bones.

COULTER - YOU SAD, SAD MAN ... As is stands, the chances of Cards being eliminated from the playoffs are pretty high and Mike Coulter should be crying in a rocks glass down at the the Esquire. But let’s face it. He deserves it. Not for simply being a Cards fan. No. That’s simply too petty. He deserves it because he wrote something in a column recently that was worthy of God striing pain into his blackened, Cardinal-loving heart. He lumped Ann Coulter’s books in with the Bible as worthless, useless, pieces of trash, only good for stabilizing his coffee table.Tsk tsk Coulter. God doth have a sense of humor. But some things just won’t fly.And this was one of them.

FORGET FIRE AND BRIMSTONE Generally speaking, as a Christian, I am not a

Cryptic person. I do not believe that all of these people can truly speak in tongues. Anyone can speak jibberish. Ask my mom how my Pop sounds when Purdue is losing. That sounds the same as the loons who do it in church to scare away potential believers. I also do not believe that priests are given the gift of celibacy when they enter the priesthood. That’s called sexual repression. And we wonder why there are so many scandals facing the church these days? I don’t believe that The Rapture will take place the way some fundamentalists do with a big-ass disappearance of all the “saved� people. God doesn’t play tricks on the world It created.God isn’t out to get us. God is out to see us through. Yeah, I am a hippie at heart. Just like my folks. But dammit if I don’t I believe that Mike might have ruined it for the Cards when he took the Bible and placed it in the same category with Ann’s books.

HERE IS THE REASON ... The Bible is the greatest book ever written. I realize that you could argue that. But I really wouldn’t try. No book has reached and inspired as many people.Whether God is real or if Jesus was, in fact, the Son of God, is kind of irrelevant in the face of its power as a presence in our world. The only real problem (and it’s a big one) is that it has been distorted in order to persecute people, rather than to uplift them, the way it was intended.

Here’s a challenge: Go read the Sermon on the Mount. You can find it in any old Bible in the Gospel of Matthew Chapters five through seven. I am not one to proselytize. And I am certainly not out to evangelize or try to “save� you from yourself or from anyone else, including The Lord of Darkness or The False Prophet. I don’t care whether you are a Christian or not. Do whatever works for you. But, read the Sermon on the Mount.And then try to tell me that it can be argued that it would be unhealthy for anyone to live by those principles. It can’t be argued.Try it.

ANN COULTER IS THE BIGGEST PIECE OF POOP ... She really is. She is an ignorant, careless, selfserving piece of shit (and no, I don’t care that she spoke out against Bush), and I agree with Mike when he says that you can use her crappy books to make a coffee table balance correctly. But her books and the Bible are as different as Cubs fans and Cardinals fans. I don’t need to make another witty analogy here; if you are a Cubs fan you understand what I am talking about. The Bible, if read and interpreted correctly, is here as a roadmap to aid us in good living. And that is all. Belief in Christ is something that develops and then goes away. It gets refurbished and then tarnishes; it’s a constant struggle. But the simple message of the Bible, while difficult and easy at the same time, should be embraced by all of us: to live well - you must treat others with respect, even if they don’t treat you

the same way.You must set out everyday to make a difference in someone else’s life - some one who is less fortunate than yourself. Treat your body with respect and do the same to others. Be a nice fucking person for Christ’s sake. Ann Coulter’s book about Republicans and how to talk to liberals (if you must) or some bullshit is filled with enough crap to fill the toilets in every home throughout the world. She is the epitome of every thing that the Bible speaks against.

FINAL WHIFF I am a Christian.This is true. But I am not sure how to go about calling myself that in the face of the rest of the people out there that call themselves Christians as well. Dick Cheney, Rumsfeld, Ashcroft ‌ Christians? Not with me they’re not. So, what are my options? What do I call myself? Where do I worship and have dialogue? I am not sure of the answer, so I am open to suggestions. But if it involves lifting my hands at a church, I don’t want to be a part of it. I think that church, the way we know it now, is the opposite of what was supposed to be a time to drink, eat, be merry and share in our solidarity with others as believers. But we can discuss that further in a different column. Or rather - I can diatribe and you can choose to read it, use it as a shimmy to help stabilize your coffee table. Seth Fein is from Urbana. He is looking forward to being back as a columnist on a weekly basis. Soon enough. He can be reached at sethfein@hotmail.com

buzz weekly •

DONNIE DARKO IS OVERRATED. THERE, WE SAID IT.

PAUL PRIKAZSKY• LEAD REVIEWER

The children of celebrities are born into the lap of wealth and

luxury. As evidenced through repeated viewings of VH1’s Celebrity Kids, most of them are worth more at age two than other people will be in 30 lifetimes. Inevitably, most of them enter the business by way of their famous parents. But there’s an exception to every rule, and that exception is Domino Harvey. British beauty Keira Knightley portrays the titular character who, instead of falling into the comfortable celebrity lifestyle, becomes a bounty hunter. Told through a series of flashbacks with an FBI investigator (Lucy Liu) we learn of Domino’s lush upbringing and her decision to become a gun-totin’, ass kickin’ beotch. After the death of her beloved father, Laurence Harvey (of Manchurian Candidate fame), Domino is sent to a boarding school by her mother, Paulene Stone (Jacqueline Bisset) and embarks on a promising modeling career before becoming bored by it all and turns to a life of bounty hunting. She hooks up with seasoned vet, Ed Moseby (Mickey Rourke) and his accomplice, Choco (Edgar Ramirez), who gladly teach the tough-as-nails Brit the tricks of the trade. The threesome become an unstoppable wrecking crew and soon attract the attention of slimy reality TV producer, Mark Heiss (Christopher Walken), who wants to turn the trio’s adventures into the next primetime hit. That, and a very angry contingent of the mafia and an even angrier group of black women from the DMV make up some kind of plot that otherwise eludes me. Domino is only based on a true story. Richard Kelly--indie darling and writer of the sorely overrated Donnie Darko--penned the convoluted script loosely based on the real Domino Harvey mixed with his own demented sense of entertainment. Like the aforemen-

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6 • buzz weekly

you think that a movie centered on the fierce bounty hunter would involve more of her? As Domino weaves erratically from one scene to the next and Scott leads the audience through Kelly’s Byzantine plot, there is almost a total loss of focus on our principal character. For its many faults, Domino is really slick entertainment, albeit unraveled at a pace favored only by speed junkies. The action is explosive, loud and brutal—not to be taken lightly and certainly not a flick to see on Mother’s Day. The performances are nothing to brag about, except maybe Rourke’s. Unfortunately, he doesn’t do much in the context of the surprisingly pessimistic plot. Domino doesn’t honor the late bounty hunter’s memory; it exploits it and ruins it.

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DREAMER (PG) Fri. 1:15 2:00 4:20 5:00 7:10 7:40 9:35 10:00 12:00 Sat. 11:30 1:15 2:00 4:20 5:00 7:10 7:40 9:35 10:00 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:15 2:00 4:20 5:00 7:10 7:40 9:35 10:00 DOOM (R) Fri. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:30 12:00 Sat. 11:00 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:30 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:30 STAY (R) Fri. 1:55 4:45 7:30 9:55 12:10 Sat. 11:10 1:55 4:45 7:30 9:55 12:10 Sun. - Thu. 1:55 4:45 7:30 9:55 NORTH COUNTRY (R) Fri. - Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:50 ◆ THE FOG (PG–13) Fri. 1:30 4:00 7:00 9:20 11:45 Sat. 11:00 1:30 4:00 7:00 9:20 11:45 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:00 7:00 9:20 ELIZABETHTOWN (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 1:15 4:00 7:00 9:45 DOMINO (R) Fri. - Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:05 10:00 THE GOSPEL (PG) Fri. 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:30 11:50 Sat. 11:15 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:30 11:50 Sun. - Thu. 1:45 4:15 7:00 9:30 WALLACE & GROMIT (G) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:15 9:20 11:25 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:15 9:20 TWO FOR THE MONEY (R) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:40 4:30 7:15 9:55 Sat. 11:10 1:40 4:30 7:15 9:55 IN HER SHOES (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 1:30 4:20 7:10 10:00 HISTORY OF VIOLENCE (R) Fri. 1:55 4:40 7:30 9:50 12:00 Sat. 11:40 1:55 4:40 7:30 9:50 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:55 4:40 7:30 9:50 SERENITY (PG–13) Fri. 1:30 4:10 7:00 9:40 12:10 Sat. 11:00 1:30 4:10 7:00 9:40 12:10 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:10 7:00 9:40 CORPSE BRIDE (PG) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 Sat. 11:30 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 FLIGHTPLAN (PG–13) Fri. 1:40 4:15 7:00 9:20 12:00 Sat. 11:00 1:40 4:15 7:00 9:20 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:40 4:15 7:00 9:20 WAITING (NR) Fri. 1:55 4:45 7:20 9:40 11:50 Sat. 11:15 1:55 4:45 7:20 9:40 11:50 Sun. - Thu. 1:55 4:45 7:20 9:40 JUST LIKE HEAVEN (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 4:30 9:40 11:50 Sun. - Thu. 4:30 9:40 EMILY ROSE (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 9:30 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 9:30 40 YEAR-OLD VIRGIN (R) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 1:45 7:10 Sat. 11:10 1:45 7:10

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buzz weekly •

YOU SMELL LIKE GRANDMA.

your WORDS small village near Jerusalem in 1987 and obtained his master’s degree in Civil Engineering from the University of Illinois. Most recently, Jaber has become a realtor for “Coldwell Banker.� Why did you open an international food store?

PHOTO • AUTIN HAPPEL

Originally, I was a student at the U of I and both me and my business partner recognized that many international students would go all the way to Chicago to buy their food products.We thought it might be a good idea to bring Chicago to them. So we opened a small ethnic food store that grew from buying from two to three vendors. Now we buy from more than 50 different vendors across North America. Hazem Jaber stands in front of an aisle of exotic cooking oils at the Harvest International and Gourmet Food store Sunday morning. TATYANA SAFRONOVA • STAFF WRITER

T

here is a small crowded store on the corner of Sixth Street and University Avenue. It is sectioned off between two rooms by many aisles and shelves obstruct the windows. The entire world is contained within this tiny maze. It exists on the shelves of the World Harvest food store.There are cheeses from all around the globe; a variety of meats that includes lamb, goat and rabbit; an entire aisle of teas; shelves of jams, jellies, preserves, and honey; cooking supplies and countless varieties of sweets. There are spices, grains, coffees, a whole aisle of crackers and cookies, and even beauty products that include different varieties of soap. And there’s still much more left to explore. Hazem Jaber, 41, and his business partner opened World Harvest in 2000 after owning another international food store for nine years. Jaber arrived in the United States as a student from a

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From which regions do you sell food?

We try to cover almost every single corner in the world. So we have [food] from every continent, let’s put it that way. From Australia, from all over Asia, the oriental part of the world, the Indian part of the world, the Middle Eastern part of the world ‌ Europe.

learn from my customers ‌ I share my knowledge. I learn from some customers and pass the knowledge to others. What foods would you recommend to people who don’t like to go beyond their basics?

There are international things, things like chocolates, and cookies, and tea, and the drink, that’s the easiest part to try. Instead of potato chips, try plantain chips, they give you a different taste.You like to eat regular ‌ Hershey’s chocolates? Try the darker chocolates from Europe. It’s almost like drinking the stronger kind of coffee. By time, you might acquire the taste and then you’ll eat more. You don’t need the milk and the sugar. Just taste the real chocolate. Olive oil and oils in general. We have hundreds of different kinds of oils. Everybody is cooking with oil. There are healthier kinds of oil ‌ We offer tasting parties every Saturday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. and every week we offer above 30 different food items from olives, to cheeses, to olive oils to honey and mustard, and different kinds of dips, and cookies and chocolates. So every week we change. How much do people have to pay to come to these parties?

It’s for free. It’s part of our educational program.We highly believe in educating our customers.The more they know about our products, the more they will buy them.

Where do you find all this variety of produce?

Do these parties happen here in the store?

One big lead to us is our customers ‌ Customers will come, ask and push us to go forward and search for certain items ‌ Our customers are all partners in building our inventory.

Right here. On site. Every Saturday. At the same time, if any customer wants to try something that [I can] open and they can taste, I will immediately do that.

Are there plans for expansion of the store?

Hazem Jaber

There is no thinking of that immediately. But if we find a bigger location, a suitable one, we might have it as a second location in town. We like the location. Being at the edge of the university and the edge of the town, we get the best of the two worlds.

Which country has the best chocolate?

I’d say which continent. The European chocolates. I like those. There are good chocolates in many other parts of the world, but the European chocolates I think are leading ‌ in their taste and goodness.

Do you cook?

Is there anything else you’d like to say to the students and the community?

I know how to cook. ‌ I established, with my business partner, two restaurants in town, Basmati Restaurant, the Indian restaurant, and Jerusalem Restaurant ... But we sold both of them. We don’t own them anymore. However, we learned a lot of cooking in them. And I run an international food market. I love to learn how to cook. So I

We just want the students to know that we have a lot of good things for them. And we love to learn from them. We love to share our experience with them so we welcome them to come in at least for the tasting parties and enjoy some free good samples of foods there and help us serve them better.

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Denali Fantastic selection of outerwear. Wide varieties of colors and styles. Sale ends October 31.

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We who live in prison, and in whose lives there is no event but sorrow , have to measure time by throbs of pain , and the record of bitter moments .

kim rice & kate ruin DOIN’ IT WELL

Penile pill-pushers

Oscar Wilde • British Author

Love what your momma gave ya

jonesin CROSSWORD PUZZLE

theme: Who moved my cheese? Insanity in the dairy section

BARRED FROM KNOWLEDGE?

ILLUSTRATION • BRITTANY BINDRIM

UC Books to Prisoners

ERIN SCOTTBERG • STAFF WRITER

I

n the old Urbana post office, a new delivery service has taken over. Instead of general mail, this organization has a more specific task. From a small room in the unfinished basement of the brown brick building, volunteers periodically gather to read a few letters and wrap up some packages. The letters are from prisoners. The packages are filled with books. UC Books to Prisoners, a nascent organization under the umbrella of the Urbana-Champaign Independent Media Center, was established on a simple concept: spread free knowledge to individuals who are, literally, barred from it. Adam Davis started the project in early 2004 after being inspired by the Indiana-based Pages to Prisoners organization. Pages to Prisoners gave Davis 50 letters as starting material. As volunteer Sarah Lazare recalled, “He just started answering the letters and then pretty soon word started spreading around the prison.” From there “it picked up momentum and word just spread.” The process is straightforward. First, prisoners write to Books to Prisoners with a request. Of course, before using the service, the inmates must know the program exists at all. As helper Max Beshers commented, “We don’t advertise at all, it’s just by wordof-mouth.” Knowledge of the program has spread though, as about eight to 10 letters are received each week. The appeals vary in length, some are pithy, while others are several pages. Some want specific works while others ask for writings from general genres and topics. One of the numerous volunteers

will then scour the burgeoning library for a match. Scanners are Books to Prisoner’s library are posted here. A person can purchase being implemented to register the books and compile a database, this book, or if he or she has it on hand and doesn’t mind parting in order to facilitate the searches. with it, drop it off at or ship it to the IMC, where it will be Inquiries range from pop novels to advanced textbooks, from the promptly sent to the prisoner. common to the distinct. Love poems, anatomy, extraterrestrial life, The shipping costs and other operating expenses are paid for cultural history, dictionaries and horror are just a few of the types by periodic book sales. The next one will be this Saturday, Oct. 22 of entreaties. at Lincoln Square Mall. It is a vital event as it is meant to cover Another volunteer Jay Schubert said that, quite often, the overhead for the subsequent year. inmates’ requests are matched perfectly. “It’s amazing actually Recently, and as planned over the summer, Books to Prisoners when we sort the books, how often there’s just this amazing began a new phase of operation: the development and expansion serendipity where [we have] the exact book they ask for,” he said. of book collections or libraries within the actual jails and prisons. The process is more personal than just filling appeals for prose. “We brought about 1,500 books to the downtown jail, which For the inmates, this is a chance to communicate with the outside previously had about a couple hundred romance novels that were world, to have an exchange with another person. falling apart,” Schubert said. “We started a lending library, staffed Schubert mentioned that in their requests, the inmates often with volunteer librarians from the community.” The experienced “talk about things going on in their lives, things they’re interested librarians work with regular volunteers, servicing the inmates in … we answer their letters with a personal letter and package up face-to-face. three or four books …” In addition to all this, the group publishes a zine titled “Words Authorities have been favorable to the project. “The local through Bars.” Edited by Lazare, the publication features poetry, sheriff ’s department and local jails have been very accepting and illustrations and short essays by prisoners. The creations span the welcoming of these developments,” Schubert said. “We work with emotional spectrum of incarceration. The themes touch upon the the services coordinator, Nancy Griffin. She’s been very accom- melancholy of loneliness, the frustration of systematic subjugation modating and encouraging.” and the regret of wasted possibility. However, some prisons do prevent certain subjects from reachOne prisoner writes,“the bars / cast shadows on my cell wall / ing the inmates’ hands. Content containing erotic imagery or scar my soul, / freedom will remove the shadows / but the other,/ homosexuality has occasionally been blacklisted. I don’t know ...” The library, meager at first, has expanded rapidly. So many Another pens,“As you lie on your bunk in your cell, your ears books have been donated, Schubert said, that they only put about will be bombarded by a constant, nonstop cacophony of people one in seven on their shelves. They take the highest quality and screaming, yelling, arguing, banging on doors, walls, beds, boxes, most fitting donations. The others are sold to the public at a sinks, toilets and floors. People … will be talking to themselves, fundraiser or donated en masse to the jails. smearing feces on their walls and on their bodies, mutilating them“It’s quite a luxury to be able to [have so many books] and have selves, and even committing suicide.” that much support from the community,” Schubert said. In his “Autobiography as Told to Alex Haley,” Malcolm X The books can be donated via collection bins in various locations wrote of reading in prison, “You couldn’t have gotten me out of including Strawberry Fields, the books with a wedge … Illinois Disciples Foundation, [With the] reading of WEFT and Pages for All Ages. books, months passed IT’S A REALLY NEAT WAY FOR PEOPLE WHO Larger donations can be made by without my even thinkspecial arrangement. ing about being imprisWANT TO VOLUNTEER. IF YOU ONLY HAVE The organization is propelled oned. In fact, up to 30 MINUTES, YOU CAN ACTUALLY COME IN by the labor of volunteers. The then, I never had been usual meeting time is Saturday so truly free in my life.” HERE, SEE SOME BOOKS THAT LOOK afternoon from 3 to 5 in the Literacy and education INTERESTING TO YOU, PULL THEM DOWN, basement of the newfound renewed Malcolm X. READ THE LETTER, WRITE A RESPONSE, Urbana-Champaign Independent It reformed his life, transMedia Center. forming him from a PACK THEM UP AND SHIP THEM OUT. “It’s a really neat way for peodrug-addicted kid in ple who want to volunteer,” Harlem to an eloquent - Jay Schubert Schubert said. “If you only have orator and national role 30 minutes, you can actually model and icon. While come in here, see some books that look interesting to you, pull Books to Prisoners has only been up and running for a little over them down, read the letter, write a response, pack them up and a year, it is a quiet hope of all of these volunteers that the words of ship them out.” these books can cause a likewise inspiration. If you cannot arrive in person to help out, the project’s Web Ideally, though these people may be physically confined, their site, www.books2prisoners.org has a special request listing board. minds can walk free while exploring the ideas and images, the Particular book requests that are not currently found in the poetry and prose, of the written word. buzz

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Across 1 Part of Fat Albert's line 4 Barq's Famous Olde ___ Root Beer 8 Shirts, blouses and the like 12 Vanished 13 "Ask away" 14 Monogram pt. 15 They're aged in casks 16 Class that requires lit tle effort 17 Partner of McNally 18 Cheese kept out of sunlight? 21 Less foolish 22 Obedience school command 23 Sends out 25 Get the kinks out 27 Like some screams 28 Comedy staple that

goes "splat" 29 South American "supergrain" in health stores 32 Word after "Que" 33 Cheese prepared in a flash? 35 Play opener 38 P.T. Barnum hoax The ___ Mermaid (from the old spelling of a Pacific island) 39 Understand 42 Four on the ground, maybe 44 Laundry list topics 46 Wing 47 Anti-___ hand soap 49 Word preferred over "Eskimo" 50 Cheese that's espe cially overpowering?

53 Monster of a lizard 54 Insurance filing 55 "He makes no friend who never made ___" (Tennyson) 56 Word associated with Bo Bice 57 Sported 58 Train syst. that serves the Hamptons 59 Vampires usually go for it 60 He says "They killed Kenny!" 61 Road map lines: abbr. Down 1 Magician who died on Halloween 2 In one large mob 3 Sycophants 4 "I won't let it get to me"

5 Mario's dinosaur pal 6 1980s Britpop star Alison 7 Letters that look like H 8 Dessert made with sponge cake 9 How well-tuned vehi cles stop 10 Stuff on a baseball bat 11 The clap, e.g. 12 Stopped acting like a kid 13 Olympia Snowe, for one: abbr. 19 Baghdadi, say 20 Feminist prefix for "story" 24 Patty Hearst's kidnap pers, for short 26 Big frilly collars 27 More scared-looking 30 "Science Guy" Bill 31 Word shouted on "Law & Order" 33 Language of many blaxploitation film pimps 34 Like horror movie film scores 35 "Now I've got it!" 36 Trust (in) 37 "Funky Cold Medina" rapper 39 Like intentionally undersized shirts 40 Magazine letter addressees 41 Madonna's adopted Kabbalah name 43 Prefix meaning "one quintillion" 45 The pages of history 47 Common trumpet tun ing 48 Carne ___ 51 "I Ain't Marching Anymore" folk singer Phil 52 Monogram for Tricky Dick 53 Rickey ingredient Answers pg. 13

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ists Sam Shaber an will be playi d Anne Heaton ng from 7-1 Tickets are $10.00 each Do 0PM. ors open at 6PM. with proceeds going to the

American Red Cross Wine, beer, sp irits an and the Salvation Army. for purchase. Each d food will be available guest will re complimen ceive a tary glass of Duval-Leroy Champagn e.

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size, particularly asking if pills, herbal remedies, exercises etc., can enhance size and sexual pleasure. We’ve been wondering about this too, because we’ve received an equal number of e-mails with titles like "Enhance your penis size." "Huge Johnson tomorrow," and "How you can improve your sex life." So, it makes sense that we’re continually asked, "Is bigger better?" Concerns about body image can start early in life, and about three-fourths of men get hung up about their penis size at some point. Does size really matter? It depends on who you ask, but it usually matters most to the guy facing fears of being too small. As women, and maybe for some guys, it’s easy to laugh off these types of e-mails. But the reason our in-boxes are getting flooded is that where there is a fear of inadequacy, a market will rise to meet the demand … regardless of if the product does what it says it will or if it's even needed.And who exactly is benefiting from guys’ desire to be hung like a horse, except for the aforementioned penile pill-pushers? So, why the obsession with size? Fact: the average erect penis is 4 to 6 or 5 to 7 inches long, depending on the source of the study. Bottom line: most guys aren’t packing that much more or less than the guy they’re sitting next to.The thing men should know is that smaller flaccid penises grow more than larger ones, so they basically even out when erect. Can the potions advertised in the e-mails help? The answer is no.All those creams, pills and herbal enhancers pitched over the Internet with promises to work magic on the magic stick are crap. Most of the Web sites have disclaimers that state that their claims have not been reviewed by the Food and Drug Administration and individual results may vary.What this really means is that they don’t have to be accountable for product effectiveness. To date, there is nothing recommended or prescribed by professionals to increase penis size.This is probably because there’s no reason to … if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. There are also surgeries available for this purpose, but they aren’t much better. These

surgeries are usually performed by plastic surgeons for aesthetic reasons and the only data we could find evaluates patient satisfaction with the surgery, and is from the surgeons themselves (no bias there, right?). There is one surgery that claims to elongate the penis, but the trade-off is that the extra length comes from severing a ligament responsible for enabling the erection to stay in the upright position. Men who get this surgery may benefit from about a 1-inch enhancement. It is important to be well-researched and to weigh the risks of these surgeries. Some side effects include a slightly larger penis that, when erect, points more toward the floor than the ceiling, or a penis that’s girth has been tampered with that now looks lumpy.And who wants to be called "lumpy?" News flash, penis size does not predict or determine male sexual pleasure. In terms of stimulation and potential arousal for a guy, all penises are created equal. If you’re worried about having a bigger penis in order to please your partner, try using the biggest sexual organ you have — your brain. Talk with your partner, find out what is pleasurable to you both and think about and explore ways to have mind-blowing sex while accepting each other for exactly who you are. All this raises a larger issue of genital self-image, which we’ll get to in a future column. In the meantime ladies and gentlemen, take a look at what your momma gave you and learn to love it. It’s probably not broke and if you try to fix it you may very well just mess it up.

SEX-411 For some guys this continues to be a concern even after they learn that they’re within the range of normal. If it continues to be a source of severe anxiety, it may be time to talk with a trusted therapist or sex therapist to address the underlying issues that could be involved. To find a certified sex therapist in your area visit www.aasect.org However, a general therapist will probably be able to help this too. Good luck! Share your opinions, stories or questions about size! Write to riceandruin@yahoo.com. As professional sex educators we’re here to address your concerns and experiences regarding relationships and sexuality. Get in touch!

LOWER BACK PAIN?

GULF COAST HURRICANE RELIEF CONCERT

Sunday, October 23 at Farren’s 308 N. Randolph in Champaign

We’ve received a lot of questions about penis

Chiropractic Honors the Body’s Ability to Heal Itself, Naturally Tickets are available in advance at Farren’s or at the Corkscrew Wine Emporium at 203 North Vine Street in Urbana.

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22 • b u z z w e e k l y

free will ASTROLOGY ARIES

Oct. 20 - Oct. 26

(March 21-April 19)

"Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough for the Two of Us," is the title of a song by the band My Chemical Romance. If you'd like to place yourself in alignment with cosmic rhythms, you should say the exact opposite of that to someone you care about--something like this: "Honey, this mirror is big enough for the two of us, and I want us to gaze into it together." In other words, enlist a loved one to join you in taking an inventory of your relationship. Study how you fit together, and brainstorm about how you can make your connection work even better.

TAU RU S

(April 20-May 20)

Curses abound. When we're children, our parents and relatives manipulate us into being different from what we naturally are. As we grow up, teachers and coaches regularly remind us of how we're not living up to their expectations. Meanwhile, the news media assaults us with relentless propaganda about how nasty and brutish life is, and storytellers in the entertainment industry barrage us with visions of the worst aspects of human nature. Finally, our enemies slip us their own unique brands of maledictions. That's the bad news, Taurus. The good news is that you now have unprecedented power to defuse the curses that have been cast on you. Follow your intuition to cleanse yourself of their insidious influence.

GEMINI

OC T. 2O

THESE ARE O.R. SCRUBS ... OH, ARE THEY?

(May 21-June 20)

Brazil's Ryoki Inoue may not be the best novelist in the world, but he's definitely the most prolific. He averages about 100 new works of pulp fiction every year. On one particularly creative day, it took him eight hours to churn out an entire 195-page story about crooked cops and drug dealers. He's your role model for the coming week, Gemini. Whatever your field of endeavor is, try to supercharge your productivity. The astrological omens suggest that not only can you do so, but also that it will be good for you to do so. Your other role model is Marcel Proust, who was one of history's *best* novelists. Be as fast as Inoue and as brilliant as Proust.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

Five years ago, artist Dale Chihuly shipped 64 tons of Alaskan ice to Jerusalem. He used it to erect a giant wall in the place where the Arab and Jewish sections of the city joined. The desert heat melted his preposterous construction in three days. Treat this as an apt symbol for a situation that's going on in your vicinity, Cancerian. There is an improbable barrier between two parts of your life that should be connected. That barrier has now begun to collapse at a rapid rate, and will be gone soon as long as you and yours don't make a foolish attempt to try to shore it up.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

Medieval language expert Alexandra Gillespie writes that "English is a bastard tongue, an unruly mix of corrupted Latin, AngloSaxon, French (in particular Middle Norman), Brythonic and Goideleic Gaelic, Welsh, and other forms of the Celtic tongues." In other words, the most widely used language on the planet was cobbled together from a hodgepodge of disparate influences. I hope that inspires you, Leo, to take full advantage of the mishmash you're nurturing. As you borrow and patch, appropriate and blend, scavenge an integrate, be mindful of the rich potentials inherent in your hybrid creation.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

It's high time for you to lose control--in the most constructive way possible, please. You can no longer afford to be as tightly wound as you've been lately. To get yourself in the mood for breakthroughs that will prevent breakdowns, consider carrying out some of the following acts. Fingerpaint on your TV screen. Dance on your bed, imitating a black bear that has drunk a bottle of vodka. Ask an intimate friend to use lipstick to write "I am inscrutable" on your belly. Have dinner with a person who makes you uncomfortable in an interesting way. Buy a bull penis walking stick at Bumsteer.com and use it on a stroll to the corner store. Write candid confessional letters to people from whom you've been hiding an important truth, but don't mail the letters.

Market at the Square Every Saturday Morning thru Nov. 12 SE Lot of Lincoln Square Downtown Urbana (217) 384-2319 kalarson@city.urbana.il.us

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

In the estimation of many fashionistas, Libran rock singer Gwen Stefani is a style queen. The New Yorker recently put her on the cover of its fashion supplement, and she's at the top of many best-dressed lists. She doesn't fully enjoy the fruits of her success, though. "I still think of myself as a fat little dorky kid from Orange County desperately wanting to be cool," she told OK magazine. If Stefani called me up for a consultation right now, I'd tell her what I'll say to you: This is a perfect astrological moment to use your willpower, your imagination, and your sense of humor to shed your old self-images--especially those that are acutely at odds with the reality of the person you have become.

To be completely aligned with cosmic rhythms in the coming weeks, you'd arrange for rose petals to be thrown at you each time you opened a door. A gourmet cook would provide a steady stream of tastes you've never experienced before. A great band or chamber orchestra would come to your home to play for the best par ty you've ever thrown. A friend would read you stories that deepened your appreciation for how courageous you've been in dealing with your own struggles. And you would enlist the ser vices of your own royal fool, who'd be responsible for telling you jokes, identifying incongruities, and keeping you flexible.

SCORPIO

AQUARIUS

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

I used to have a Scorpio friend who liked to spout the ecstatic mystic poetry of Rumi. (Sometimes he added his own rapturous improvisations, and so I was never sure where Rumi left off and his words began.) Since you're currently in a phase when the potential for euphoric release and delirious catharsis are high, I've selected five of these quotes that are in alignment with your astrological omens. (1) "Close your eyes and see with your other eyes." (2) "If you want to be held, open up your arms." (3) "Quit acting like wolves and let the shepherd's love fill you." (4) "We're not here to seek approval but disgrace and celebration." (5) "Let the beauty you love be what you do."

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec.21)

I suggest you find a way to study the behavior of predators without exposing yourself to danger. You'll really benefit from being in an impregnable safety zone as you take a close look at creatures that are dominated by their lust for power. Why? Knowing more about these types will allow you to protect yourself from them in the future, especially if there ever comes a time when you're not so well- insulated. And right now is the per fect astrological moment to study them risk-free.

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

You cannot possibly accomplish anything good by force right now. Your strengths may temporarily become liabilities, and you'll have to exercise your talents with profound humility in order to keep from going astray. To achieve success, you've got to renounce all your definitions of success and open your mind to previously unimaginable new definitions. You also must become as fluid as a water snake, as sensitive as a psychotherapist advising a beloved patient, and as free as a woman who has just given birth.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

"Who can convince the sea to be reasonable?" asks poet Pablo Neruda in The Book of Questions. Here's my answer: If anyone can do it, you can. For the next two weeks, your powers of persuasion will be almost supernaturally strong. Furthermore, you'll be able to achieve a mind meld with elemental forces of nature like wind, fire, and rivers. Further furthermore, you'll have the power to achieve a state of such transcendental lucidity that you will flirt with the ability to see things the way the Goddess does. I hereby dub you the sea whisperer.

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From ashes to ... diamonds? How to turn your dead family into fashionable pieces of jewelry. No, this isn’t a joke

I’ve

always made the joke that when my parents die I will have some tough decisions to make, mostly with my mother. They’ve both decided to be cremated, which I think is a pretty good idea. The ashes, though, are another concern. Dad should be pretty simple. He was always happiest when he was hunting, so I figure I could scatter his remains on the field behind our old house. I know when my mother was happiest also, but I’m not sure what sort of policy Target has on dumping the remains of a loved one near a 50 percent-off rack. It’s always weighed on my mind. Well, happily, that’s no longer a concern for me. I ain’t dumping my folks anywhere. Instead, I will wear pieces of them all over my body. It’s not as gross as it sounds. I won’t be using Dad’s pancreas as a winter scarf or Mom’s femur as a walking stick. Nope, as they say in the country, I’m gonna make them into something real pretty. A diamond of my very own. What? You might ask. A diamond? Is Mr. Coulter actually screwier than we’d initially thought? Well … um, yes, he is screwier than you initially thought, but that diamond thing is for real. A company called LifeGem has come up with a way to turn just eight ounces of remains into a yellow or blue diamond. Ah yes, the yellow and blue diamond, the most sought-after of fine, afterlife gems. Apparently, they do this using “super hot ovens.”Yeah, um, LifeGem, it’s been a while since I had art class, but I think those are called kilns ... also, I believe the “n” is silent. It makes me wonder, has our nation finally hit the point of diminishing returns on coming up with new ideas? So, anyway, for something between $2,000 and $20,000, you can have yourself a sweet-ass little ring made from the charred remains of a loved one, a handy little artifact on your finger to constantly remind you of your crushing loss, or simply to accent a dressy hand bag. Forget “ashes to ashes,” it’s now ashes to jewelry! Don’t be afraid to get greedy about this either. There’s enough carbon in an average body to make 20 or so diamonds.Well piss, forget about the inheritance and all the tax problems that go along with it. I’d much rather take this opportunity of grief to speculate on the diamond market. Sure it’s still the “yellow and blue” diamond market, but you never know. If enough family members died in a short enough

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*All prices plus tax, title, license & doc fee to qualified buyers. Employee prices is not a manufacturer sponsored program. See dealer for specific details.All incentives applied.Actual photos/illustrations of some vehicles not available at press time. Dealer is not responsible for errors in this ad.Ad expires 3 days from pub. s o u n d s

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time, you could conceivably corner the market. Plus, there are enough ashes left over to allow you to get the closure of scattering your loved ones somewhere. Let me tell you this, my friend, you will surely cut a much more striking figure during the scattering with a big-ass diamond ring on your finger.“Oh, yes, these are my father’s ashes. I’m scattering them in his favorite park. If, for some reason, this park ever closes, not to worry, I’ve still got a huge freaking diamond to remember him by.” If nothing else, it should make for an interesting will. “To my son, I leave my grandfather in diamond form; to my daughter, I leave her mother, also in diamond form.” Dean VandenBiesen, a vice president of LifeGem (even though it should really be DeathGem) proved he’s mastered the obvious when he pointed out “It’s not for everyone … I’m so excited about this. In the field of death care, when somebody says ‘I’m really excited about this,’ I think we’ve achieved what we wanted to do which is change the culture of death.” Wow, spoken like a man whose career has really taken a turn for the worse. Like anything, I just hope it doesn’t veer off into a creepy area. If the idea catches on, funeral home directors could feel the financial pressure. I’d just hate to see relatives of deceased people offing themselves just to save a couple of bucks on the two for one discount burials. Plus, turning ashes into diamonds can’t be good for the decorative urn business. I think the area that could really open up is taxidermy. Let’s face it, no one wants to have a loved one stuffed and on permanent display. First of all, they take up too much room and second of all they really sort of creep people out. Still, if you could save someone on a more piecemeal basis there might be some demand. Why does it have to be a fancy-smancy diamond? Having fuzzy dice slung over your rearview mirror is sort of funny, but having the dried testicles of a close relative slapping against your windshield is a real conversation starter. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I think a simple memory might really still be the best way to go when it comes to dealing with grief.When I think of my father, I’d much rather remember the two of us talking about baseball. It beats the alternative of thinking about him because he’d go really great with that new pair of pants I got. Coulter is a videographer, comedian and all around smart-ass, but people still dig him. We don’t really know why, but it’s probably because he’s so damn funny. That and he wears kick-ass headwear, like his hat.

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michael coulter FIRST THINGS FIRST

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buzz weekly •

BUT THERE IS WAY MORE TO IT THAN LEMON AND LIME

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I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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I TRIED TO MAKE SPRITE AT HOME ONCE ...

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Cover Design • Nikita Sorokin Editor in chief • Paul Wagner Art Director • Claire Napier Copy Chief • Emily Wahlheim Music • Kyle Gorman Arts • Constance Beitzel Film • Andrew Vecelas Community • Erin Scottberg Calendar • Todd Swiss Photography Editor • Austin Happel Designers • Brittany Bindrim, Nikita Sorokin, Obumneme Asota, Allie Armstrong Calendar Coordinators • Cassie Conner, Photography • Austin Happel Copy Editors • Sarah Goebel, Ruth McCormack, Dan Petrella Staff Writers • Todd Swiss, Paul Prikazsky, Syd Slobodnik, Beth Dillman, Todd J. Hunter Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein Production Manager • Meredith Niepert Sales Manager • Anna Rost Marketing/Distribution • Louis Reeves III Publisher • Mary Cory

3 3 3 |4-7| 4 5 6 7 | 8 - 11 | 8 8 9 9 9 10

e-mail: buzz@readbuzz.com

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We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

18 19 19 20 | 21 - 22 | 21

First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50

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© Illini Media Company 2005

EDITOR’S NOTE

22 | 26 - 28 |

PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

October

and March are the best months of the year. I know I’ve said this before, but I think it needs to be reiterated. The baseball playoffs are awesome. Football, college and professional, just makes me happy. It brings people together. Grown men cover their bodies in paint, get drunk, tailgate and cheer like college kids again. USC plays Notre Dame in one of the best games in recent memory. Big Ten Football. The World Series! But I’m sorta pissed off at the World Series. Why? Because it’s so hard to get tickets. It’s finally back in Chicago, and I wanted to buy tickets. My ultimate goal was to buy four, use two and sell the others, hopefully turning quite the hefty profit – in the thousands.Yes, that’s a shitty reason to buy tickets, but college is expensive, dammit. And I couldn’t get tickets anyway. My roommate and I were sitting with our laptops, waiting on the Ticketmaster site for the clock to strike noon Tuesday, but we completely failed in our attempts. No tickets were available. For any game. We couldn’t even get single tickets. You could, however, buy 2006 Sox season tickets and be guaranteed a World Series ticket I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

Jim Yoshii Pile-Up interview • Imran Siddiquee Death Cab for Cutie concert review • Kyle Gorman Sound Ground #97 • Todd J. Hunter Senses Working Overtime • Kyle Gorman Sam Ashworth review • Jaron Birkan Parasol charts

ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT

19

call: 217.337.3801

LISTEN, HEAR

| 15 - 17 |

TALK TO BUZZ write: 57 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820

INDEX

AROUND TOWN

MAIN EVENT

18

Parkland Theatre Preview • Emily Cotterman Hairstyles of the Damned review • Dan Schuld Artist’s Corner with Adam Dupuis (Th)ink • Keef Knight

THE SILVER SCREEN Serenity review • Randy Ma Saraband review • Syd Slobodnik Domino review • Paul Prikazsky Movie Time Listings Slowpoke • Jen Sorensen

THE STINGER Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney Doin it Well • Kim Rice & Kate Ruin Free Will Astrology

CLASSIFIEDS

for this year, but season tickets were almost $1,000. I actually thought about buying them, though, because I could probably have sold the single ticket for close to $1,000, but I definitely don’t want season tickets for the Sox, I’d only use the for the Cubs vs. Sox games. Anyway, October is great, but I think the U of I needs to give students a fall break. Sure, we get a week off around Thanksgiving, but that’s not really a break so much as a week to prep for the intense cramming and insane projects that have to be done in the two weeks before finals staring you in the face upon your return. Most other schools give students a break right around now, and I think that’s a pretty sweet deal. I’m worn out. Apathy is kicking in. And I want a break. I’m sure I wouldn’t be the only one to think so. - Paul Buzz is running a Holiday Guide/ Spotlight/Issue in December, and I think it would be cool for readers to give us gift ideas, fun things to do around town, travel suggestions and/or recipes to be showcased in that issue. E-mail any suggestions to buzz@readbuzz.com. Also, if you haven’t already found out, we’re putting out a Best of Champaign-Urbana issue, and your votes will determine the winners.Vote online at readbuzz.com or vote in ballot form in the Buzz and the DI. Comments will be printed, if you so choose, so make them funny.And write to me! I’d love to hear your thoughts on, well, everything. s o u n d s

509 Bash Court, C.

PHONE: 217/337-8337 DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

Cover Story! Books for Prisoners • Erin Scottberg In Your Words with Hazen Jaber The Local Sniff • Seth Fein Vote for Best of Champaign Urbana!

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INTRO

| 12 - 14 |

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APARTMENTS

This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening First Things First • Michael Coulter

Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

Employment 000 010

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Female figure models wanted. Online contact victoriasphoto.com

020

HELP WANTED Part Time

Part- time waitress/ bartendress. Evenings. Tod & John’s, Bar & Grill. Call 398-1546 to set interview.

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HELP WANTED Full/Part Time

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

1005 S. SECOND, C

Fall 2006. Efficiencies. Secured building. Private parking. Laundry on site, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

1006 S. 3RD, C.

August 2006. 1 & 2 bedrooms. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 101 S. Busey, U. 1 bedroom apartment with

Earn $5000 as an egg donor. Must be 20-29 and a non-smoker. Please call Alternative Reproductive Resources at 773-327-7315 to learn how you can help a family fulfill its dreams.

Apartments

400 410

APARTMENTS Furnished/Unfurnished

PAID UTILITIES!

Living room, eat-in kitchen, porch, parking, laundry, facilities, air conditioning, furnished. August 2006. www.mhmproperties.com 337-8852

106 DANIEL, C.

For August 2006. 1, 2 & 4 bedroom apartments. Ethernet available. Some townhouses. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

111 E. Chalmers, C.

1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $545 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking. Fall 04, 367-6626

August 2006. 1 bedrooms. Furniture, skylights, off-street parking, laundry. Office at 309 S. First. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

105 E. JOHN

503- 505- 508 E. White

Available Fall 2006. 1 bedroom furnished, great location. Includes parking. Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup95.com Available Now 1 bedroom $385 Campus. 367-6626 Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550 per month. 367-6626. BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480. 1 Br. $370 2 BR. $470 3 BR. $750 4 BR $755 Campus. 367-6626.

Fall 2006. 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kyle, 202-7240. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

506 E. Stoughton, C.

For August 2006. Extra large efficiency apartments. Security building entry, complete furniture, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

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APARTMENTS Furnished

RATES:

APARTMENTS

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Billed rate: 35¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 28¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free. Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

WESTGATE • Clean 1 & 2 Bedrooms • Dependable, 24hr. maintenance • 24 Hour Courtesy

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Furnished

203 S. SIXTH

Fall 2006 Great 3 bedrooms, near 6th and Green. Fully furnished, microwaves and dishwashers. Off-street parking. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Fall 2006. Location!! 3, 4 bedroom, 2 bath THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

509 E. White, C.

Fall 2006 Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup.com 352-3182

August 2006. Large 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

509 Stoughton

Near Grainger, Spacious studios and 2 bedrooms, ethernet, parking. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

602 E. Stoughton

Fall 2006. Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet, and parking available. Must see!! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

307 & 310 E. WHITE 307 & 309 CLARK

APARTMENTS

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Unfurnished Semester leases Now pre-leasing for January. 1 and 2 bedroom apartments and 2 bedroom townhomes. Great rates , quite location, on the busline, pet friendly. Call 356-4012

SUBLETS

440

605 S. Fifth, C.

440

Quiet, clean, furnished studio apartment at Fourth & Green, Sublet 12/18/05 thru May or Aug ‘06. Parking available, rent negotible. 847951-3976. Spacious 2 bedroom, $400/mo, available immediately. 649-1201. Sublet Available Spring/Summer. Dishwasher, laundry, $630/mo. 2 BR (815)954-9800

Other Rentals 500 HOUSES

510

2 bedroom and 7 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2004. 367-6626.

Available Spring, Summer, and Fall ‘06

5 BEDROOM HOUSE • 3 mins. from campus • 20 ft. from bus! • Free parking! • Free wireless internet! N E W LY LED REMODE

604 E. White, C.

Security Entrance For Fall 2006, Large 1 bedroom, 2 bedroom, loft (HUGE), furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

SUBLETS

Spring ‘06 only $350/mo per room. Only $1500/ mo for ENTIRE house Fall ‘06!! 10 Month lease available! Schedule a showing before it’s gone! (708)699-7311 BTPManagement@gmail.com

MUST SUBLET! Spacious 1 bedroom, Savoy. Dishwasher, washer/dryer central A/C. Pets OK. $675. 217-485-3102

HOUSES

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510

Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2850 367-6626 Furnished 5 bedroom house. Available August 2006. 311 W. Green St. W/D, 2 bath, dishwasher, back yard, fence, and deck. $1800/mo. 4934729. Furnished 5 bedroom houses on campus near Ohio and Lincoln and Stoughton and Sixth for Fall ‘06. Call 356-1407.

4 Bedroom

308 1/2 W. William, C August 2006 Furnished, 4 BR, 2 bath, living room kitchen, rec room, dining room, sunporch, 2 car garage, fireplace, A/C, dishwasher, washer/dryer. www.mhmproperties.com 337-8852

ROOMS

530

1 BR in 4 BR apartment. $350/mo, includes all utilities. 367-6626.

ROOM & BOARD

540

www.couch.coop. Private room, internet, diverse, $255, consensus, home.

ROOMMATE WANTED 550 $375/mo all included. 352-1704. 1 bedroom, near campus $300 per month 367-6626

cuCalendar.com

Fall 2006 5th and Green location Outdoor activity area. 1, 2, 3 bedrooms available. Garage off-stret parking. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

GREAT VALUE

DEADLINE:

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I DON’T THINK WE NEED TO RESORT TO THE BLACK ARTS TO KEEP OUR HORMONES IN CHECK.

THE

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306-308-309 White August 2006. 1 & 3 Bedroom furnished apts. Balconies, patios, luandry, dishwashers, off-street parking, ethernet available. 841-1996. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

HEALEY COURT APARTMENTS

307-309 Healey Court. Fall 2006. Behind Gully’s. 2 & 3 bedrooms. Ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

left off the dial

JOHN STREET APARTMENTS

58 E. John August 2006. Two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwashers, center courtyard, on-site laundry, central air, ethernet available. Call Andy at 369-2621. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Old Town Champaign

510 S. Elm Available Fall 2006. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, furnished, W/D, central air/heat, off street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. $595/mo. 841-1996. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

207- 211 JOHN

Fall 2006. Prime Campus Location. 2, 3, & 4 Bedrooms. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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4 Medium 1-Toppings

$19.99

Coupon Required Expires 12/15/05. Offer good for a limited time at participating Papa John’s restaurants only. Additional toppings extra. Not valid with any other coupons or discounts. Limited delivery area, charges may apply customer responsible. for all applicable fees.

1O | 2O | O5 . 1O | 26 | O5

s o u n d s f r o m t h e s c e n e FREE

w e e k l y

got pre game?

champaign . urbana

*Carryout Special*

Medium 1-Topping

Stay Smart Study with the Papa!

$5.49

Large 1-Topping

$6.49

Coupon Required Expires 12/15/05. Offer good for a limited time at participating Papa John’s restaurants only. Additional toppings extra. Not valid with any other coupons or discounts. Limited delivery area, charges may apply customer responsible. for all applicable fees.

URBANA & CAMPUS 1307 E. Florida Ave. (E ast of G oodwin A ve .)

384-7272

CHAMPAIGN & CAMPUS *OPEN LATE* 106 E. Green St. (West of Goodwin Ave. to East of Prospect Ave.)

355-5858

CHAMPAIGN 2104 W. Springfield Ave. (West of Prospect)

351-7272

Better Ingredients. Better Pizza. DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE CONCERT REVIEWED

USE US! OR AT LEAST THE CALENDAR TO PLAN YOR LIFE

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY KILLS

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