Buzz Magazine: Dec. 7, 2006

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Battling for Honor in the dark ages A firsthand account of Medieval combat Page 4

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LOCAL BANDS TO RELEASE ALBUM ON GREEN ST. RECORDS

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“A CHRISTMAS STORY” COMES TO LIFE AT PARKLAND

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THE BEST OF HOLIDAY THEATER IN CHICAGO

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YOU ARE DEPRIVING SOME VILLAGE OF ITS IDIOT.

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UNDER THE COVER

BUZZ STAFF volume

December 7

no.48

Cover Design • Monica Betel Editor in chief • Erin Scottberg Art Director • Brittany Bindrim Copy Chief • Meghan Whalen Listen, Hear • Anna Statham Stage, Screen & in Between • Elyse Russo Around Town • Tatyana Safronova CU Calendar • Annette Gonzalez Photography Editor • Amelia Moore Designers • Hank Patton, Monica Betel, Renee Okumura Calendar Coordinator • Brian McGovern Photography • Amelia Moore Copy Editors • Lisa Fisherkeller, Emily Ciaglia, Ilana Katz, Whitney Harris Staff Writers • Brian McGovern, Carlye Wisel, Amy Meyer Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein, Mike Ingram, Kim Rice, Kate Ruin Sales Manager • Mark Nattier Marketing/Distribution • Brandi Wills Publisher • Mary Cory

TALK TO BUZZ

|1-3| 3 3 3 |4-7| 4 6 7 | 8 - 12 | 8 11 11 12

This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening First Things First • Michael Coulter

AROUND TOWN Belegarth Medieval Combat • Tyler Freer Community Spotlight with Todd Reising • Kimya Karshenas The Local Sniff • Seth Fein

LISTEN, HEAR Green St. Records Compilation • Liz Hutnik Album reviews Spin it/Flip it/Reverse it • Carlye & Brian CU Sound Revue • Mike Ingram

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CU CALENDAR

| 17 - 22 |

STAGE, SCREEN & IN BETWEEN

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e-mail: buzz@readbuzz.com Stage, Screen and In Between: arts@readbuzz.com Around Town: community@readbuzz.com Listen, Hear: music@readbuzz.com write: 512 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820 call: 217.337.3801 CU Calendar: To include a listing, please e-mail events@ cucalendar.com with the name, location, time, cost and a short description.

We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date.

Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

INTRO

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Parkland’s “A Christmas Story” • Keri Carpenter Chicago Holiday Theater Preview • Jeff Nelson Movie reviews Page Rage • Jenny McCarthy Artist’s Corner with Harry Breen • Annette Gonzalez

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CLASSIFIEDS

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THE STINGER

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Doin’ it Well • Kim Rice & Kate Ruin Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney Free Will Astrology Likes and Gripes

First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50 © Illini Media Company 2006

erin scottberg EDITOR’S NOTE

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eleg a r t h: t he sport of fighting in the style d e t a i le d i n J. R . R .

Tolkein’s Lord of the Rings trilogy. It’s also one of the many nonacadem ic th i ng s I learned the meaning of in college (turn to page 4 for more about Belegarth). As I prepare to wind down my undergrad career (keep your fingers crossed for me), I can’t help but think of all the useless crap I learned in college that probably won’t ever prove useful unless I find myself on Who Wants to Be A Millionaire or playing New Millennium! Trivial Pursuit in 2024.

One of the very first random pieces of knowledge I learned in college is that in Nintendo’s Duck Hunt, you can plug in a standard controller and Player Two can control the direction of the duck. How frickin’ cool is that? This was bestowed upon me by some oh-so-intelligent upperclassmen whose apartment my new dorm friends and I stumbled into our first night on campus.

My junior year, I finally learned how the Duck Hunt gun works — pressing the trigger momentarily turns the screen black and the duck white.

Then a photo sensor in the gun detects light and INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

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dark and tells the consel whether to drop the duck or send out that damn laughing dog.

From there, the amount of useless crap I know has grown exponentially. Did you know that flies take off backward? Or that a Cowboy Killer is not only a slang term for Marlboro Reds and other harsh cigarettes but it’s also a shot (Tequila, Bailey’s Irish Cream, Butterscotch schnapps and half and half )? I won’t even begin to get into all the euphemisms for sex and drugs I’ve learned these last few years.

An advertising professor once told me that Santa Claus’ red suit comes from an ancient CocaCola marketing campaign. According to the prof, prior to Coca-Cola, it was just as common to see Santa wearing green, but that all changed once Coca-Cola red came around. Snopes.com, however, finds that myth false.

I also have a new addition to my closet of random facts: We all know that our knees fit perfectly into our eye sockets — c’mon, don’t act like you haven’t sat knees-to-chest with your kneecaps pressed into your face — but did you know that it’s because we were formed that way in the womb. Pretty cool, huh?

Essentially, college is a place to absorb information that’s going to help you in the workforce, and in life. So while going to class and all that jazz is important, don’t forget to pick up some street smarts along the way. sounds from the scene

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SUPPORT BACTERIA - THEY’RE THE ONLY CULTURE SOME PEOPLE HAVE.

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michael coulter FIRST THINGS FIRST

Floats, bands and horse crap Why I do not love a parade

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riting a column ever y week can present a few problem s . S omet i me s , I can’t think of a good topic.

Other times, I can’t think of a way to say something that won’t piss off 90 percent of the fine folks who take the time to read this thing every once in awhile.

Every so often, though, the biggest problem is that I just come off sounding like a rat bastard.

This week’s column falls into the latter category, so let me just get the topic sentence out there, feel like a rat bastard, and get on with it. I fucking hate parades.

I know, I know, everybody loves a parade. In fact, I vaguely remember Ethel Mermen singing a song about just how much she loved them. I think it was called “I Love a Parade.” Whatever. Like my dad says, “Screw a whole lot of Ethel Mermen.”

Parades are to entertainment what Britney Spears is to class, and I have just never enjoyed them.

The parade is the anti-museum. A museum is quiet, while a parade is anything but quiet.

In a museum, people walk around and see what they’re interested in for as long as they like. In a parade, things simply go by you while you stand still. Not only is this a lazy man’s approach, but it’s also very hard to appreciate fine art in such a setting. Let’s face it, anything that comes to one is generally not something one should desire. Popup ads, telemarketers and general solicitations all come to you and most people have no interest in such things, but organize a bunch of idiots in a line, call it a parade, and then watch while everyone rushes out of their houses to see it.

A parade also has sort of a mob mentality to it, as well. “Hey look, I’m parading around in all my glory. Stand and recognize me.” Whenever I think of a parade, I immediately think of thousands of men goose-stepping past Hitler in those old newsreels. No one loved a parade like the Germans in the 1940s and you all can probably remember how that whole deal ended up turning out.

Downtown Champaign had their big Christmas parade this past weekend, and though I was downtown that evening, I can’t really speak specifically about it. For crapsake, it was really cold outside and adding cold to a parade is like adding broccoli to a turd sandwich. It already sucks, but now it sucks worse. Besides, there was a perfectly good basketball game on television inside, with plenty of warm air and cold beer. It really wasn’t much of a decision for a fella like me.

Parades usually end up being far less than the sum of its parts. Take the marching bands in parades, for example. Honestly, marches aren’t the most beautiful music ever composed, so I can only assume we’re impressed by a marching band because they can wa l k and play a song at the same time. Fine, I can’t play an instrument and some evenings I have trouble walking, but just because a group of people can do both of these things better than me isn’t a reason for me to stand in the cold watching them.

You add to the bands a series of floats. Well, nothing says fine craftsmanship like a bunch of crepe paper and a few rolls of chicken wire. Plus, what’s with all the waving? Do I know you? If not, what’s my responsibility? Am I supposed to stand there with a stupid look on my face and a thumb up my ass and wave back at everything that passes? Seriously, I’m not so cool with something like that.

T he n , t he r e’s u s u a l l y a p ol it ic i a n o r t wo wa l k ing around and wav ing to their constituents. I generally dislike politicians, but I have no problem w ith them pa r t icipating in a parade, with one caveat. Any and all politicians in a parade should be forced to walk directly behind the group of horses and should also be required to step in anyth ing the hor ses happen to leave beh ind.

If there are no horses, then there shouldn’t be politicians.

See, that’s my problem — add those three things up, marching bands, floats, politicians, and that’s basically what a parade consists of.

You see any of those things separately and you’re not impressed. You see them together and it’s still not all that special. Yet for some reason, you put them in motion and seemingly normal folks will line both sides of the street.

The waving, the marching, the smiling, it’s all too much for a guy like me to take, especially this close to Christmas.

I don’t know, maybe I’m missing somet h i n g a b o u t p a r a d e s . M a y b e i t ’s t h e sense of com mun it y that people enjoy or maybe it’s just a rea son to get out of the hou se. M aybe ever yone el se rea l ly doe s love a pa r ade. I see k id s at pa r ade s a nd I know they seem to like them, so maybe I’m just old and jaded these days. Well, if that’s the way I am, it’s good enough then. I’ll take old and jaded over bored shitless any day of the week.

I probably am a rat bastard.

OOPS! WE MADE A MISTAKE • Although buzz strives for accuracy, we sometimes make mistakes. If you catch something we didn’t,

please let use know at buzz@readbuzz.com. When a correction is needed, it will be listed here.

sounds from the scene

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around town

TA K E A STA B AT

M EDIEVA L WA R FA R E It’s not as easy as the Orks make it look TYLER FREER • STAFF WRITER

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n one c l o u d y, b r i s k S a t u r d a y mo r n i n g , a couple of sporting events were taking place around the grassy areas behind the Japan House on Lincoln Avenue. One was a high school cross country meet, in which countless runners were competing as their families were cheering them on. The other was something more unique: a combination of foam padding, violence, costumes and potential nerdiness. This event is called Belegarth.

Imagine the fighting scenes that you have seen in films such as Braveheart, Gladiator and even Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Now, substitute the sharp metal weaponry and heavy shields of the past for a foam-padded arsenal of weapons and protection.

However, keep the same attire and competitive, kill-em-all attitudes. It is a competition in which a fighter doesn’t have to die in order to be killed.

Belegarth as a sport began in the mid-’70s, when fans of J.R.R. Tolkein’s Lord of the Rings trilogy were inspired to act out and fight in the style of the books. The University of Illinois chapter of Belegarth was started by John Wrightson, the owner of The Dragon’s Table hobby shop in Champaign and a Belegarth participant for 30 years. Wrightson (or ‘Sir Alberich’ as he is known in the Belegarth community) began the chapter in 1991, after starting subsequent chapters in different towns where he had lived. He said that he began the group by having friends over to battle in his yard. The group slowly built, as passersby would look upon the foam-action and ask the fighters, “What in the world are you guys doing? It looks like fun.”

There are now usually about 60 fighters at their Saturday battles (held inside the Stock Pavilion on Pennsylvania Ave. during the winter), which can reach up to 100 players when it is warmer outside. The Wednesday get-togethers typically draw about 40 to 50 Belegarthers. The make-up is fairly eclectic; males and females, white, black and Asian ranging from young, scrawny freshmen all the way up to older, rounder, balding men.

You might be wondering, “What are you talking about? Foam weapons? Costumes? What the hell?” In the name of safety, the fighters utilize foam-padded weaponry. This makes for an (almost) injury-free, but still battle-like experience. Weaponry ranges from foam swords, clubs, flails, glaives, spears and bows to foam arrows and javelins, amongst others. Fighters generally also use shields, typically refusing them when they have their hands full already (i.e. the bow-and-arrow Belegarthers). Wrightson, who used to make the padded swords himself, said that many of the weapons used are purchased online, from websites such as www.edhellen.com.

The rules of the game were broken down to me by Scott Marner (otherwise known as “Argoth”), an intense-looking man known for leaving bruises on opponents. Marner said that if a player is hit in the leg with a weapon, then he or she must pretend that the leg was dismembered and go down on one knee. The same goes for an arm; the player must put the arm behind his back. Two hits to any limb means the player is dead. However, it only takes one shot to the body for a battler to die (except for head shots, which don’t count), and shields are

Chris “Feral” Leonard of Urbana prepares to shoot a foam arrow into battle at the Belegarth Medieval Combat Society practice in the Stock Pavillion of Urbana on Nov. 15. The “foam-fighting” group meets every Wednesday and Saturday.

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important here because they are used to protect a player from being killed.

Besides protection, shields also display logos that determine who is on what team. In all, the University of Illinois chapter is represented by five teams: Dark Guard, Uruk-Hai, House Vald, Heidman and Black Company. Generally, becoming a member of a team is fairly easy, and a player will ask to join a team or they will be asked. However, the “team” aspect doesn’t necessarily separate players into distinct sections. The most common battles are two large groups pitted against each other Braveheart-style. These fights are usually lightningfast and last only a couple of minutes.

Attempting to be as realistic as Lord of the Rings inspired foam-fighting can be, Belegarthers are encouraged to don apparel that would have been representative of the times. Thus, many fighters wear the same outfits that one would see in Robin Hood: chain shirts, vests, leather, belts and fur, among other clothing.

First-year fighter Chris Leonard had one of the most impressive outfits. With dyed rabbit fur, a vest of green netting and a ripped black T-shirt, he looked like a Roman soldier during the height of the empire, harking back to Russell Crowe during the Gladiator fight sequence in the snow.

Despite being a poster boy for the look that Belegarth wants to showcase, Leonard (whose battle name is “Ferel”) also brought to light an outsider’s observation: the nerd factor.

“You gotta be a little geekish to dress up in funny clothes and hit each other with padded sticks,” Leonard said, “but there is an undeniably athletic aspect: trying to swing a sword hard and fast and run people down.”

OH DEAR, I’VE BEEN RE-DORKULATED!

Second-yea r fi g hter K i m Sch rock (or “Doodle”) agrees, and doesn’t feel that being one of the few females in the group is a hindrance. “When you roll with the boys, you don’t need anybody to defend you,” she said.

Well, if athleticism is part of the game, then why couldn’t I be a great fighter? I am relatively athletic. After all, I run the track at the gym. I played basketball in high school. I was the second coming of Jerry Rice when I scored touchdown after touchdown during recess.

Therefore, I decided it was time for me to pick up a sword, grab a shield and get my 15th century battle face on.

I was picked up by one of the two sides and was ready to fight. However, not knowing what I was doing, I decided to team up with a group of more experienced fighters. When the battle commenced, we were on our way to attacking a seemingly weak section of the opposition.

For my first kill, my eyes were on a guy who kind of looked like David Spade, only about 30 pounds lighter and with longer hair. As my group began to attack, I broke out of my team circle and rushed to take out fake David Spade.

Just as I raised my sword, I was suddenly hit twice by a very-speedy girl; once in my outstretched arm and once on my shoulder. I was already dead … and it only took eight seconds.

Pretty impressive if I was riding a bull. Not so much any other time.

That was embarrassing. I couldn’t end on that note. It was time for another battle. As both sides ran at each other, I once again stayed protected SEE BATTLING FOR HONOR PG. 6

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AMELIA MOORE • PHOTO

December 7

He ain’t dead yet,” joked Ray “Fergus” McAskill of Champaign during the Belegarth Medieval combat society practice on Nov. 15 at the Stock Pavillion in Urbana.

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HI, SUPER NINTENDO CHALMERS!

AMELIA MOORE • PHOTO

BATTLING FOR HONOR CONTINUED FROM PG. 5 by my experienced fighters. Like a magic act, my protectors vanished and I was left unguarded. An enemy came at me, so I swung at him but missed.

However, he hit me in the right leg. I went down on one knee praying to not be struck again. Panicked, I started swinging at any movement that occurred around me. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a fighter come at me. Suddenly, I lunged my sword at them and hit them in the back. My satisfaction wavered when I realized that I had a) killed a girl b) killed a girl who didn’t have any protection (as an archer, she had no shield) c) been struck in the back immediately t he r e a f t e r. Re g a r d le s s , I o ffic i a l l y h a d a kill under my belt.

However, after the battle was finished I had a nagging feeling about the female archer that I had taken out. I asked Leonard, “That girl that I killed, she looks familiar. Was she on our team?”

Leonard responded, “Oh, her? She sure was.”

So naturally, for my only kill, I knocked out a member of my own team, an archer who goes by the moniker “Fish.” Obviously, my pride in my Belegarth capabilities was plummeting.

I decided that the third time’s the charm.

I would try for one last battle before I hung up my (borrowed) sword and shield for good.

These guys and girls were way too fast for me.

This time, I decided to abandon my hide-inthe-middle-of-my-group strategy and simply ran fast and swung away. I ended up going manto-man against one of the opposing battlers.

I came at him aggressively and went for his leg with my sword. To my sheer amazement, I hit him. Unfortunately, he simultaneously pegged me in the leg, and we were both down on one knee ready to fight to the foam-sword death. As I swung to collect my first nonsame-team-member kill, I glanced upwards to see an enemy sw iftly str ike me in the shoulder. Game over. To add insult to injury, a f ter k nock i ng me out of the g a me, the Belegar ther shouted, “Holy crap! I k i l led a guy!” Geez … even as a new guy I was killed by a new guy. It could be said that I was the worst player of all time. I wouldn’t have stood a chance in the 15th century. Lucky for me, foam doesn’t tear flesh. It just stings pride.

Sir Albich of Urbana looks on as the Belegarth Medieval Combat Society stages a battle. “It’s [Belegarth fighting] a good steam blow-off, a vent.

Irritations don’t get to vent anymore,” commented Jon Diley, or “Piper,” of Champaign.

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COMMUNITY

snapshot WITH

TODD REISING

AMELIA MOORE • PHOTO

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Todd Reising studies his monitor while “Duckman the Godzilla” records his album The Devil’s Landlord in Reising’s Mass Music Studio in Urbana, located behind Parasol Records.

KIMYA KARSHENAS • STAFF WRITER

T

here is no typical day. One day you have a rapper and the next a seven-piece horn ensemble.” So says Todd Reising, a music producer in Urbana. His name is pronounced ‘rising’, like the accolade-ridden adjective most associated with artists in his field of work.

His own musical background began with playing the guitar when he was 11 years old, singing in his high school choir and the spark of interest that led to the world of music production. Reising’s first job in the field was working on commercials at WPGU radio station here in Champaign-Urbana, where he was earning a degree in Psychology and Anthropology at the University of Illinois. Reising also took a class with Mark Rubel at Pogo Studio called Introduction to Recording Studio.

Reising dropped out of school in 1998, moving to New York City to pursue audio engineering and production. There, he landed his first job as a music assistant developing television commercials, going on to work with Gram my award-winning song wr iter Itaa l Shur, and scoring music for the film Contagion, which played at the Georgetown Film Festival in Washington, D.C. Reising’s move to New York paid off, providing him with a well-rounded basis of ex per ience to r un h is ow n music production business: “I came back to Champaign after Sept. 11 to finish school and sort of reevaluate my life.” As for his current job, Reising says, “This place was a complete stroke of luck.” The space became available to Reising through an ad on Openingbands.com, a Web site which promotes local and regional artists and is now the home to his recording studio, Mass Music. Some of the groups he has already worked

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with include Clio, The Anti-Social End, Cypha MC, The Invisible and gangsta rapper Duckman.

Recently, he produced the music for a locally made documentary on Hurricane Katrina.

Reising points out that though he loves getting a chance to create good music, there is also the business management side of things that needs to be considered. “You’re your own accountant, web-designer, janitor,” he said, adding that the latter of the three in this slew of non-recording obligations is his least favorite.

If you’ve ever been inside the hal lowed chambers of a recording studio, then you know of the complicated range of tiny replicate switches, dials of every size, cords and cables snak ing around the ar ray of musical instruments crowding the floor; hooked, amped and ready to make music. The space at Mass Music has a homey urban feel, with red brick walls in the performance space, and wood paneling in the control room. There is a lso a generous a mount of sound t i les decorating the walls and ceiling, which without taking away from their sound purposes adds a little flavor to the ambiance as well.

During this particular day in the studio, local gangsta rapper Duckman was recording tracks for his first professionally recorded album, entitled Devil’s Landlord. Beats came up as wavelengths in red, blue and green on the Macintosh screen of Reising’s workspace, with sound manipulating machines galore. On either end of the recording window that separates the performance from the technical side of things, an exchange of words took place between the artist and Reising, securing a productive session between the two.

Duckman had been in the process of getting together his own recording equipment sounds from the scene

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when his friend, Reising, said to hold on for a couple of months while Mass Music was still in the works. “Todd’s already had experience and he knows what he’s doing,â€? says Duckman. “Everything is mixed by Todd. He lets you work at whatever pace you want to ‌ He catches on quick with what you [the artist] want to sound like.â€? Duckman added that at $30 an hour, “He is the best for a tight budget.â€?

The two have worked together before, creating the theme song for InYourHeadOnline, a popular Internet wrestling show.

The studio is often used for rehearsal space by the musicians who record there, available at $15 dollars an hour. The band The Invisible recently used the studio to work on the second half of their album.

Rei si n g s ay s he hook s up w it h loc a l artists “mostly through word of mouth, because people already have that introduction.� The studio offers a variety of technical capabilities all of which Reising has had experience in. “We can do band recording, TV and radio commercials, film sound and scoring, as well as music production.� Reising adds, “On the production side of things it’s just a matter of living here and getting to know people. I can make any kind of music I want here with the diversity and caliber of musicians here in CU.�

“Duckman the Godzilla� records a rap for the album he is recording at Mass Music Studio in Urbana.

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SILLY CUSTOMER, YOU CANNOT HURT A TWINKIE!

seth fein THE LOCAL SNIFF

Sniffer goes soft Brother, er, sister-in-law, gives birth. Anyway ...

FIRST SNIFF I spent the whole day in the waiting room at Carle Hospital on Monday. My whole fam i ly and my sisters-in-law were there, nervously anticipating the a r r iva l of ou r newest member, Jack David Fein. I didn’t really want to write a column detailing the emotions I went through as I sat there, but after seeing how dramatic it was, I figured that I have nothing better to write about this week, so here goes. I promise it won’t take up the entire column.

the pushing wouldn’t work, the doctors called an audible and did a C-section. Had this been 1906, I probably would have been nervous. But evidently, this type of thing is very routine.

T he id e a of it , a C - s e c t ion , k i nd of freaks me out. I mean, I understand that it’s completely safe and that 99.9% of the time there is no harm done to the baby or the mother, but still, something about it seems all wrong, like some sort of strange pagan ritual where something evil is unleashed unto the earth.

Or maybe I just played too many RPGs as a child. I am not sure what it is, but I have never felt like someone was so brave.

MY SISTER-IN-LAW She is Kelly. We grew up together. Long before she dated and the married my brother, we were very close friends. We had a contentious relationship. She loved Illini. I loved Purdue. She was a “Republican.� I was a “Democrat.� She listened to Boyz II Men. I l istened to Publ ic Enemy. Yet we were always hanging out and having fun together.

After a while, and some good ol’ Fein family inundation, she adopted a couple of things that made our lives easier. I don’t want to give away too much about her, but, needless to say — while she still bleeds orange and blue, she voted for Kerry and thinks that Arcade Fire is a pretty radical band.

Fast forward to Dec. 4, 2006. She was being induced into labor with my brother’s first born. As of last Monday, Kelly was the most pregnant woman I have ever seen. She was simply huge. At least her belly was. It was a pleasure to see her go through this. I couldn’t ask for a better sister-in-law.

MORE CONGRATS ARE IN ORDER‌ My best friend growing up was a kid named Seth Hayes. I haven’t known very many Seths, but it seems as though the ones that I do know, I end up being tight with.

Now that I am 27 years old, I would say that one of my best friends is Seth Hubbard, publicist at Polyvinyl Records and soon to be husband of Rachel MacArthur.

Saturday is their big day. And one of the perks of writing a column is the self-indulgence that can come along with it. So congratulations Seth and Rachel. Enjoy the gift I got you. It’s kind of worthless.

BIRTHING CIRCA 2006 After they had induced, I guess the doctors told her to push at a certain point. And after

HEY CHRISTIANS! PLEASE RESPOND‌ Did you hea r about the Ch r ist ia n Coalition? Those douchebags named Joel Hu nter, a moder ate, to t he head of t he organization, only to see him resign because of a “difference of philosophy.â€?

That difference? Trying to find a way to get beyond gay marriage and reproductive rights in order to focus on issues like welfare for the needy and environmentalism.

So, yeah. Just a question to the Christians out there. Do y’all, like, actually read the Bible?

Or do you just hold it up as a way of feeling safe about the fate of your eternal soul? My email is below.

RESTAURANT OF THE WEEK I haven’t been there yet, but only because I find it hard to stop on campus on a Friday or Saturday night, but I have seen it with my own two eyes. Yep. Hot Dog Stand. 4th and Green, next to the College Mall. I am not sure if they’ve got good grub or not, but I like it.

I like hot dog stands. They make me think of cities. And while we are one, it’s sometimes easy to misplace that thought because of all of the corn and dumbass backwards hicks who are pro-Chief.

SHOW OF THE WEEK The Independent Media Center (202 S. Broadway, U.) is hosting the best event in town this week if you are into DJs and dancing and generally making an ass out of yourself. And that is a good thing. Being all prim and proper is for suckers. DJ Mertz ho s t s t h i s p aj a m a p a r t y, w h ich b r i n g s us the return of J-Phlip, Champaign-turnedChicago spinstress who has been tur n ing heads all around the Windy City. Cover is just $5, which for the amount of performer s end s up bei n g l i ke $ 0. 33 cent s per DJ. Awesome.

FINAL WHIFF Straight to the point. Congratulations, Adam and Kelly. I am proud to be Jack’s Uncle Seth.

Now, it’s onto the fun part for him: Fast food.

Fast Cars. Fast Women. And Purdue games.

He’s gonna love me ‌ Seth Fein is from Urbana. He had never held a newborn until Monday. He loved it. He can be reached at sethfein1@gmail.com.

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D e c e m b e r 13 , 2 oo 6

important here because they are used to protect a player from being killed.

Besides protection, shields also display logos that determine who is on what team. In all, the University of Illinois chapter is represented by five teams: Dark Guard, Uruk-Hai, House Vald, Heidman and Black Company. Generally, becoming a member of a team is fairly easy, and a player will ask to join a team or they will be asked. However, the “team” aspect doesn’t necessarily separate players into distinct sections. The most common battles are two large groups pitted against each other Braveheart-style. These fights are usually lightningfast and last only a couple of minutes.

Attempting to be as realistic as Lord of the Rings inspired foam-fighting can be, Belegarthers are encouraged to don apparel that would have been representative of the times. Thus, many fighters wear the same outfits that one would see in Robin Hood: chain shirts, vests, leather, belts and fur, among other clothing.

First-year fighter Chris Leonard had one of the most impressive outfits. With dyed rabbit fur, a vest of green netting and a ripped black T-shirt, he looked like a Roman soldier during the height of the empire, harking back to Russell Crowe during the Gladiator fight sequence in the snow.

Despite being a poster boy for the look that Belegarth wants to showcase, Leonard (whose battle name is “Ferel”) also brought to light an outsider’s observation: the nerd factor.

“You gotta be a little geekish to dress up in funny clothes and hit each other with padded sticks,” Leonard said, “but there is an undeniably athletic aspect: trying to swing a sword hard and fast and run people down.”

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OH DEAR, I’VE BEEN RE-DORKULATED!

Second-yea r f ig hter K i m Sch rock (or “Doodle”) agrees, and doesn’t feel that being one of the few females in the group is a hindrance. “When you roll with the boys, you don’t need anybody to defend you,” she said.

Well, if athleticism is part of the game, then why couldn’t I be a great f ighter? I am relatively athletic. After all, I run the track at the gym. I played basketball in high school. I was the second coming of Jerry Rice when I scored touchdown after touchdown during recess.

Therefore, I decided it was time for me to pick up a sword, grab a shield and get my 15th century battle face on.

I was picked up by one of the two sides and was ready to fight. However, not knowing what I was doing, I decided to team up with a group of more experienced fighters. When the battle commenced, we were on our way to attacking a seemingly weak section of the opposition.

For my first kill, my eyes were on a guy who kind of looked like David Spade, only about 30 pounds lighter and with longer hair. As my group began to attack, I broke out of my team circle and rushed to take out fake David Spade.

Just as I raised my sword, I was suddenly hit twice by a very-speedy girl; once in my outstretched arm and once on my shoulder. I was already dead … and it only took eight seconds.

Pretty impressive if I was riding a bull. Not so much any other time.

That was embarrassing. I couldn’t end on that note. It was time for another battle. As both sides ran at each other, I once again stayed protected SEE BATTLING FOR HONOR PG. 6

5

AMELIA MOORE • PHOTO

December 7

He ain’t dead yet,” joked Ray “Fergus” McAskill of Champaign during the Belegarth Medieval combat society practice on Nov. 15 at the Stock Pavillion in Urbana.

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HI, SUPER NINTENDO CHALMERS!

AMELIA MOORE • PHOTO

BATTLING FOR HONOR CONTINUED FROM PG. 5 by my experienced fighters. Like a magic act, my protectors vanished and I was left unguarded. An enemy came at me, so I swung at him but missed.

However, he hit me in the right leg. I went down on one knee praying to not be struck again. Panicked, I started swinging at any movement that occurred around me. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a fighter come at me. Suddenly, I lunged my sword at them and hit them in the back. My satisfaction wavered when I realized that I had a) killed a girl b) killed a girl who didn’t have any protection (as an archer, she had no shield) c) been struck in the back immediately t he r e a f t e r. Re g a r d le s s , I o ffic i a l l y h a d a kill under my belt.

However, after the battle was finished I had a nagging feeling about the female archer that I had taken out. I asked Leonard, “That girl that I killed, she looks familiar. Was she on our team?”

Leonard responded, “Oh, her? She sure was.”

So naturally, for my only kill, I knocked out a member of my own team, an archer who goes by the moniker “Fish.” Obviously, my pride in my Belegarth capabilities was plummeting.

I decided that the third time’s the charm.

I would try for one last battle before I hung up my (borrowed) sword and shield for good.

These guys and girls were way too fast for me.

This time, I decided to abandon my hide-inthe-middle-of-my-group strategy and simply ran fast and swung away. I ended up going manto-man against one of the opposing battlers.

I came at him aggressively and went for his leg with my sword. To my sheer amazement, I hit him. Unfortunately, he simultaneously pegged me in the leg, and we were both down on one knee ready to fight to the foam-sword death. As I swung to collect my first nonsame-team-member kill, I glanced upwards to see an enemy sw iftly str ike me in the shoulder. Game over. To add insult to injury, a f ter k nock i ng me out of the g a me, the Belegar ther shouted, “Holy crap! I k i l led a guy!” Geez … even as a new guy I was killed by a new guy. It could be said that I was the worst player of all time. I wouldn’t have stood a chance in the 15th century. Lucky for me, foam doesn’t tear flesh. It just stings pride.

Sir Albich of Urbana looks on as the Belegarth Medieval Combat Society stages a battle. “It’s [Belegarth fighting] a good steam blow-off, a vent.

Irritations don’t get to vent anymore,” commented Jon Diley, or “Piper,” of Champaign.

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COMMUNITY

snapshot WITH

TODD REISING

AMELIA MOORE • PHOTO

6 •

Todd Reising studies his monitor while “Duckman the Godzilla” records his album The Devil’s Landlord in Reising’s Mass Music Studio in Urbana, located behind Parasol Records.

KIMYA KARSHENAS • STAFF WRITER

T

here is no typical day. One day you have a rapper and the next a seven-piece horn ensemble.” So says Todd Reising, a music producer in Urbana. His name is pronounced ‘rising’, like the accolade-ridden adjective most associated with artists in his field of work.

His own musical background began with playing the guitar when he was 11 years old, singing in his high school choir and the spark of interest that led to the world of music production. Reising’s first job in the field was working on commercials at WPGU radio station here in Champaign-Urbana, where he was earning a degree in Psychology and Anthropology at the University of Illinois. Reising also took a class with Mark Rubel at Pogo Studio called Introduction to Recording Studio.

Reising dropped out of school in 1998, moving to New York City to pursue audio engineering and production. There, he landed his first job as a music assistant developing television commercials, going on to work with Gram my award-winning song wr iter Itaa l Shur, and scoring music for the film Contagion, which played at the Georgetown Film Festival in Washington, D.C. Reising’s move to New York paid off, providing him with a well-rounded basis of ex per ience to r un h is ow n music production business: “I came back to Champaign after Sept. 11 to finish school and sort of reevaluate my life.” As for his current job, Reising says, “This place was a complete stroke of luck.” The space became available to Reising through an ad on Openingbands.com, a Web site which promotes local and regional artists and is now the home to his recording studio, Mass Music. Some of the groups he has already worked

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with include Clio, The Anti-Social End, Cypha MC, The Invisible and gangsta rapper Duckman.

Recently, he produced the music for a locally made documentary on Hurricane Katrina.

Reising points out that though he loves getting a chance to create good music, there is also the business management side of things that needs to be considered. “You’re your own accountant, web-designer, janitor,” he said, adding that the latter of the three in this slew of non-recording obligations is his least favorite.

If you’ve ever been inside the hal lowed chambers of a recording studio, then you know of the complicated range of tiny replicate switches, dials of every size, cords and cables snak ing around the ar ray of musical instruments crowding the floor; hooked, amped and ready to make music. The space at Mass Music has a homey urban feel, with red brick walls in the performance space, and wood paneling in the control room. There is a lso a generous a mount of sound t i les decorating the walls and ceiling, which without taking away from their sound purposes adds a little flavor to the ambiance as well.

During this particular day in the studio, local gangsta rapper Duckman was recording tracks for his first professionally recorded album, entitled Devil’s Landlord. Beats came up as wavelengths in red, blue and green on the Macintosh screen of Reising’s workspace, with sound manipulating machines galore. On either end of the recording window that separates the performance from the technical side of things, an exchange of words took place between the artist and Reising, securing a productive session between the two.

Duckman had been in the process of getting together his own recording equipment sounds from the scene

December 7

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D e c e m b e r 13 , 2 oo 6

AMELIA MOORE • PHOTO

when his friend, Reising, said to hold on for a couple of months while Mass Music was still in the works. “Todd’s already had experience and he knows what he’s doing,â€? says Duckman. “Everything is mixed by Todd. He lets you work at whatever pace you want to ‌ He catches on quick with what you [the artist] want to sound like.â€? Duckman added that at $30 an hour, “He is the best for a tight budget.â€?

The two have worked together before, creating the theme song for InYourHeadOnline, a popular Internet wrestling show.

The studio is often used for rehearsal space by the musicians who record there, available at $15 dollars an hour. The band The Invisible recently used the studio to work on the second half of their album.

Rei si n g s ay s he hook s up w it h loc a l artists “mostly through word of mouth, because people already have that introduction.� The studio offers a variety of technical capabilities all of which Reising has had experience in. “We can do band recording, TV and radio commercials, film sound and scoring, as well as music production.� Reising adds, “On the production side of things it’s just a matter of living here and getting to know people. I can make any kind of music I want here with the diversity and caliber of musicians here in CU.�

“Duckman the Godzilla� records a rap for the album he is recording at Mass Music Studio in Urbana.

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SILLY CUSTOMER, YOU CANNOT HURT A TWINKIE!

seth fein THE LOCAL SNIFF

Sniffer goes soft Brother, er, sister-in-law, gives birth. Anyway ...

FIRST SNIFF I spent the whole day in the waiting room at Carle Hospital on Monday. My whole fam i ly and my sisters-in-law were there, nervously anticipating the a r r iva l of ou r newest member, Jack David Fein. I didn’t really want to write a column detailing the emotions I went through as I sat there, but after seeing how dramatic it was, I figured that I have nothing better to write about this week, so here goes. I promise it won’t take up the entire column.

the pushing wouldn’t work, the doctors called an audible and did a C-section. Had this been 1906, I probably would have been nervous. But evidently, this type of thing is very routine.

T he id e a of it , a C - s e c t ion , k i nd of freaks me out. I mean, I understand that it’s completely safe and that 99.9% of the time there is no harm done to the baby or the mother, but still, something about it seems all wrong, like some sort of strange pagan ritual where something evil is unleashed unto the earth.

Or maybe I just played too many RPGs as a child. I am not sure what it is, but I have never felt like someone was so brave.

MY SISTER-IN-LAW She is Kelly. We grew up together. Long before she dated and the married my brother, we were very close friends. We had a contentious relationship. She loved Illini. I loved Purdue. She was a “Republican.� I was a “Democrat.� She listened to Boyz II Men. I l istened to Publ ic Enemy. Yet we were always hanging out and having fun together.

After a while, and some good ol’ Fein family inundation, she adopted a couple of things that made our lives easier. I don’t want to give away too much about her, but, needless to say — while she still bleeds orange and blue, she voted for Kerry and thinks that Arcade Fire is a pretty radical band.

Fast forward to Dec. 4, 2006. She was being induced into labor with my brother’s first born. As of last Monday, Kelly was the most pregnant woman I have ever seen. She was simply huge. At least her belly was. It was a pleasure to see her go through this. I couldn’t ask for a better sister-in-law.

MORE CONGRATS ARE IN ORDER‌ My best friend growing up was a kid named Seth Hayes. I haven’t known very many Seths, but it seems as though the ones that I do know, I end up being tight with.

Now that I am 27 years old, I would say that one of my best friends is Seth Hubbard, publicist at Polyvinyl Records and soon to be husband of Rachel MacArthur.

Saturday is their big day. And one of the perks of writing a column is the self-indulgence that can come along with it. So congratulations Seth and Rachel. Enjoy the gift I got you. It’s kind of worthless.

BIRTHING CIRCA 2006 After they had induced, I guess the doctors told her to push at a certain point. And after

HEY CHRISTIANS! PLEASE RESPOND‌ Did you hea r about the Ch r ist ia n Coalition? Those douchebags named Joel Hu nter, a moder ate, to t he head of t he organization, only to see him resign because of a “difference of philosophy.â€?

That difference? Trying to find a way to get beyond gay marriage and reproductive rights in order to focus on issues like welfare for the needy and environmentalism.

So, yeah. Just a question to the Christians out there. Do y’all, like, actually read the Bible?

Or do you just hold it up as a way of feeling safe about the fate of your eternal soul? My email is below.

RESTAURANT OF THE WEEK I haven’t been there yet, but only because I find it hard to stop on campus on a Friday or Saturday night, but I have seen it with my own two eyes. Yep. Hot Dog Stand. 4th and Green, next to the College Mall. I am not sure if they’ve got good grub or not, but I like it.

I like hot dog stands. They make me think of cities. And while we are one, it’s sometimes easy to misplace that thought because of all of the corn and dumbass backwards hicks who are pro-Chief.

SHOW OF THE WEEK The Independent Media Center (202 S. Broadway, U.) is hosting the best event in town this week if you are into DJs and dancing and generally making an ass out of yourself. And that is a good thing. Being all prim and proper is for suckers. DJ Mertz ho s t s t h i s p aj a m a p a r t y, w h ich b r i n g s us the return of J-Phlip, Champaign-turnedChicago spinstress who has been tur n ing heads all around the Windy City. Cover is just $5, which for the amount of performer s end s up bei n g l i ke $ 0. 33 cent s per DJ. Awesome.

FINAL WHIFF Straight to the point. Congratulations, Adam and Kelly. I am proud to be Jack’s Uncle Seth.

Now, it’s onto the fun part for him: Fast food.

Fast Cars. Fast Women. And Purdue games.

He’s gonna love me ‌ Seth Fein is from Urbana. He had never held a newborn until Monday. He loved it. He can be reached at sethfein1@gmail.com.

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GREEN S T. RECORDS FINALIZES BANDS FOR SPRING RELEASE LIZ HUTNIK • STAFF WRITER

T

2006-2007 Green St. Records Bands

he tallies have been counted and the results are in: the official roster of bands has been chosen for the 2006-2007 Green St. Records compilation album, to be released this spring.

This year’s bands are Santa, The Dakota, Somnus, Sidewalk Radio, Weapons of Mass DisFunktion, Mad Mardigan, What Four, Glasshouse, The Greytones, FCAB and Vanattica.

G reen St . Record s h a s been a reg i st ered st udent organization at U of I since it was formed in 2003. It remains the only student-run record label in the Big Ten, according to Chris Hassen, sophomore in LAS and head of public relations for Green St. Records.

Hassen said that Green St. Records is partially funded by Student Organizational Resource Fee (SORF), and the rest comes from fundraising. Students that participate are not paid and the organization is not for profit.

The bands are chosen by the entire staff of Green St. Records, Hassen said. Bands submit songs in October, every song is listened to and given a rating. The staff then debates over the bands with the highest ratings to decide which will be chosen to record their song on the compilation CD. “The quality and quantity of submissions we receive made this year’s selection process especially difficult. The days of debate and the hours of listening were necessary to determine which bands we felt were the best,” said Green St. Records President Matt McNamara in a press release.

Hassen said, “Our qualifications are that we all love music and have a wide range of musical tastes. Some members are in the music program here, others just love to listen.”

This year, nearly 60 bands applied and only 11 were chosen. The chosen bands each began recording their submitted song the first week of November at Pogo Studios in downtown Champaign, according to a Green St. Records press release.

Hassen said that the number of bands changes from year to year, depending whether there is a high concentration of good bands, and on how much money Green St. Records raises for the year. Hassen said if they feel passionate about a particular band and the roster is full and money is low, they still find a way for that band to record their song.

The album is scheduled to be released during the spring semester at a release show, but a specific date has not been set yet, said Hassen. Release shows have been held at the Canopy Club and at the Highdive in previous years, but Illini Media Center is being considered for this year’s show, Hassen said.

The compilation CDs are given away for free at the show, in which three to five of the 11 bands are set to play, and a $5 cover is charged at the venues, according to Hassen.

Hassen said, “We hope to increase exposure for the great student bands on campus. For bands that cannot afford to record in a professional recording studio, having their song featured on the compilation album gives them a tangible object to hand out to friends and fans.”

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2) VANATTICA Hometown: Mahomet, Ill. Genre: Rock/Alternative Members: Drake Gravely, Travis Leonard, Cal Joslin, Tom Miebach Influences: 311, Incubus, Foo Fighters, Soundgarden, Underoath, Emery, Chevelle, Jimmy Eat World, The Offspring, Rage Against the Machine, Tool, Alien Ant Farm, Pink Floyd.

1) WHAT FOUR Hometown: Chicago, Ill. Genre: Indie/Rock/Classical Members: Brian Trahan, Br yan Kveton, Dan Yadron, Dylan Fischer Influences: Muse, Spoon, Incubus, Fiona Apple, Miles Davis, Lee Morgan, Chopin, Gershwin

3) FCAB Hometown: Midlothian, Ill. Genre: Blues/Ska/Turntablism Members: Stefan Lindgren, Mark Johnson, Jeff Stephens 4) SANTA Hometown: Champaign, Ill. Genre: Progressive/Folk/Rock Members: Stan McConnell, Mack McConnell, Chad Warner, Otto S t u p a r i t z, M a r t y O ’D o n n e l l, Zak Kunath Influences: The Talking Heads, Bob Dylan, The Beatles, Ryan Adams, Smashing Pumpkins, The Strokes, The Decemberists, Bob Marley, Radiohead, The Guillemots, Paul Simon, Devendra Banhart, Phish, Damien Rice, Dave Mathews, Ben Folds, Billy Joel, Counting Crows, Tool

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YOU’VE GOT TO BE HONEST; IF YOU CAN FAKE THAT, YOU’VE GOT IT MADE.

9

Orange Wig Orange Beads Orange Hairspray 5) GLASSHOUSE

Orange Make Up

Hometown: Northbrook, Ill. Genre: Rock/Alternative Members: Mike Middleton, Dan Zar, Zach Brand, Brian Wolf, Stopher Chanley

“We’ve got you covered!

Covered in orange!”

7) SIDEWALK RADIO Hometown: Chicago, Ill. Genre: Rock Members: Steven Matthew Andrews, Brian Thomas Boysen, David Bernard Dykstra, Jeffrey Hanschmann, Caleb Mundy Influences: Saves the Day, Nirvana, Rush 6) MAD MARDIGAN

8) THE DAKOTA (below)

Hometown: Urbana, Ill. Genre: Rock Members: Jack Marck, Rory Grennan, Joe Funderburk Influences: Jeff Beck, Cream, Led Zeppelin, Joe Walsh.

Hometown: Urbana, Ill. Genre: Folk Rock/Pop/Classic Rock Members: Packy Lundholm, Adam Mormolstein, Conley Wouters, Tyler Zee Influences: Wilco, Ryan Adams, CSNY, The Beatles, Grateful Dead, Neil Young, Beck, John Lennon, The Beach Boys, Foo Fighters, Oasis

DEC. 31 SPECIAL SPECIAL GUEST GUEST

TAJ MAHAL & THE INTERNATIONAL RHYTHM BAND

DEC. 30 SPECIAL GUEST

LOS LOBOS

DEC. 29 SPECIAL GUEST

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217-351-2626 • ticketmaster.com sounds from the scene

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ALWAYS FORGIVE YOUR ENEMIES -- NOTHING ANNOYS THEM SO MUCH.

GO ONLINE: illiniexpress.com O’Hare Airport

LEX runs daily to O’Hare Airport Midway Airport Midway Airport Every 90 minutes Always low prices

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Topless Female Dancers 18 to enter • Mon-Thur 8pm-1am • Fri-Sat 8pm-2am • $5 Cover (Always Hiring, We’ll Train)

Silver Bullet LEX-ILLINI Bar (217) 352-6682 Campus Office in L & L Travel located at 6th & John

1401 E. Washington Urbana 217.344.0937

Champaign Urbana

9) THE GREYTONES Hometown: Champaign, Ill. Genre: Alternative/Blues/Progressive Members: Megan Johns, Mike Arnold, Dave Cohen, Garrick Nelson Influences: Muse, The Smashing Pumpkins, The Beatles, Radiohead, Tool, Elliott Smith, The Cure, Opeth, Led Zeppelin, Tom Waits, The Eels, David Bowie, Jimi Hendrix, Franz Ferdinand, The Rolling Stones 10) WEAPONS OF MASS DISFUNKTION

www.silverbulletbar.net

Hometown: Urbana, Ill. Genre: Funk/Jazz/Jam Band Members: Dave Dickey, Marcus Wolfe, Holly Holmes, Mat t Warnock, Chris Reyman, Josh Walden, Josh Hunt Influences: Weather Report, Soulive, Miles Davis, John Scofield, Darren Kramer

Civil and Environmental

CarnegieMellon

E N G I N E E R I N G

Offering the following graduate degree options: • M.S. • Direct-entry MS/PhD • Ph.D.

Programs available in: • Advanced Infrastructure Systems (emerging information and communication technologies and data modeling and mining strategies for planning, design, construction, facility/infrastructure management and environmental monitoring, so as to improve the sustainability, maintainability, durability and overall performance of these systems.)

• Environmental Engineering (air quality, environmental management, green design, water quality, environmental remediation, environmental biotechnology and industrial ecology.)

• Structural and Computational Mechanics (atomic to macroscale computational mechanics of materials, geophysical wave propagation and earthquake engineering, theory and computation in multiscale modeling of physical processes.)

Interdisciplinary work is encouraged. aid is available to Please visit our webpage at

www.ce.cmu.edu Department of Civil and Environmental Engineering Carnegie Mellon University Phone: 412-268-2940 Fax: 412-268-7813 Email: ce-admissions@cmu.edu

11) SOMNUS (currently known as Jack Pine Savage) Hometown: Wheaton, Ill. Genre: Rock/Experimental/Funk Members: Clayton Heinrich, Justin Gantenberg, Joey Mirabella, Ryan Kragie INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, H EAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

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album REVIEWS

BRANDTSON Hello, Control [Militia]

BOYS AND GIRLS OF AMERICA The Hold Steady [Vagrant]

STEVE MAROVITCH • STAFF WRITER

Don’t you hate it when you hear a great song on the radio and then buy the band’s CD, only to fi nd that there are just one or two songs you can listen to and enjoy? Brandtson’s Hello, Control is precisely that kind of an album — BRIAN MCGOVERN

buzz weekly •

LOVE IS GRAND; DIVORCE IS A HUNDRED GRAND.

a disappointment. Seeing that the album was released by The Milita Group (the same label to which Lovedrug and Copeland are signed), I expected this to be at least a halfway decent indie rock album. Instead, the group’s seventh full-length CD failed to capture my interest.

Adam Boose’s use of synthesizer and vocoder is quite cool on a few tracks such as “Goodnight Sweet Prince,� but is most often uninspired, adding little if anything to the overall sound. If more of the album’s songs were like “Parallels,� a song with genuine depth, I wouldn’t be complaining. Despite the many layers of instruments and vocals, however, the majority of tracks on Hello, Control feel void of any actual substance. This band seems to be deeply influenced by other existing groups, like Franz Ferdinand and The Killers. Brandtson appears to be content copying other “indie� contemporaries (poorly, I should add), instead of actually producing good, original music.

Although the majority of the album is lackluster, the song “Nobody Dances Anymore� does have some redeeming qualities. This bass-driven song has a lot of energy and earned the band a spot in an ongoing MTV2 battle of the bands program.

If you’re a fan of other emo/indie groups like Lovedrug, you may enjoy this release. But, as always, sample before you buy. Spending your hard-earned cash on a less than satisfying album can be a dismal experience.

11

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• STAFF WRITER

The Hold Steady’s third full length album hits the Springsteenian chord that The Killers strived for in their self-hyped and horribly fl at album Sam’s Town. The Hold Steady, however, achieved it in a fuller sense: not just by replacing synthizers with glockenspiels. Boys and Girls of America captures the youth of the nation, in the way Born to Run encapsulated the generation of The Boss.

Featuring epic rock riffs and a level of musicianship generally missing in indie rock, The Hold Steady’s musical brilliance is almost overshadowed by the poetic prose of Craig Finn. He delivers each line like a softer Bruce and a harder Shatner, but he speaks completely free of irony, once again a departure from most indie bands.

Like previous material, Finn concentrates on the hoodlum debauchery of urban youth, messed-up Catholics and suicidal heroines. Boys and Girls continues in the storytelling tradition as well. “Chips Ahoy!� chronicles times spent at a horse racing track. In the wonderfully sappy duet “Chillout Tent,� Finn tells the story of two star-crossed lovers, joined together in a concert medic tent, after both OD-ing.

Songs like “Massive Night� and “Citrus� dive into new waters and prove to be two of the most memorable songs of the year. “Massive Night� is the catchiest stuff the band has put out, complete with backup vocals and handclaps. By far the gem of the album has to be “First Night� — an instant classic ending with a dramatic reciting of the album’s name.

Boys and Girls is a rare album from a rare band.

Rock and roll void of Foo Fighters clichĂŠs and indie pop without the exclaimation point pretension, The Hold Steady is great at every angle.

They, along with bands like Drive-By Truckers, have shown that rock and roll is far from dead (despite attempts by The Killers and Jet).

This near perfect album is an instant classic and by far one of the best of the year. sounds from the scene

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SPIN IT ROUND FLIP IT AND REVERSE IT

Best albums of the year

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Someone Still Loves You,

Boris Yeltsin & The Changes with: Melty Melty & HypnoMusicCorp

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CARLYE WISEL AND BRIAN MCGOVERN • STAFF WRITERS

2006 was quite the year. We’re saying “was� because with finals approaching and the semester coming to a close, it seems appropriate to cut ’06 off by a few weeks. Plus, it gives Spin It an excuse to do a year end column before the semester ends. But, nonetheless, 2006 was quite the year for music. Everyone from Bob Dylan to Paris Hilton to former Chicago Bull Ron Artest had an album come out. Timbaland managed to produce 95% of all songs and Jay-Z managed to end his retirement in a more embarrassing fashion than Michael Jordan on the Wizards. With all this in mind, Carlye and Brian present ... the top albums of 2006.

Brian: 3. Under T he Skin by Lindsey Buckingham I’m one of those people, I admit it. My mantra reads: “I love Fleetwood Mac, but only Lindsey Buckingham’s stuff.�

Under the Skin, Buckingham’s fi rst album in a decade, starts off with the line, “They said I was a visionary/but nobody knew.� From there on, he proves the claim. His reverb-laced vocal layering is reminiscent of Animal Collective. His

guitar playing, on the other hand, is classical in style. With tracks surpassing those of Fleetwood, this album shows old-timers can make great new albums (sorry, Neil Young).

2. Boys and Girls of America by T he Hold Steady The Hold Steady is the best rock and roll band in the country. It is so rare when an album is both musically brilliant and innovative lyrically, but that’s exactly what The Steady’s third release is. If you were/are a young adult involved in (a) music, (b) drugs or (c) struggling with the faith you were raised in, then there are songs specifically written for you on Boys and Girls. If you aren’t one of the above (which I doubt), but you love organ solos and time-traveling guitar riff s, it’ll be just as phenomenal for you.

1. Gulag Orkestar by Beirut Beirut’s debut is as perfect as albums come.

Ukuleles battle with Russian lutes and ancient horns, as the 20-year-old Zach Condon croons like a gypsy minstrel. Describing the album is ridiculous, but each song is grounded in pop and rock so solidly that it’s perfectly accessible.

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Every song is memorable and completely unique because the album draws from so many styles and genres, from across the world and across time. A great album stands alone in its own class, and thats exactly where you’ll find Gulag Orkestar.

Carlye: 3. Continuum by Joh n Mayer I hate “Your Body Is A Wonderland.” Really, I do. If a guy ever picked up a guitar and attempted to powerchord that shit out for me, I would run away as fast as I possibly could.

That being said, I thoroughly enjoyed Mayer’s latest, Continuum. Before his last album Try! was released, he himself acknowledged his departure from the sickeningly-sweet poppy tunes that have been lovey-dovey mix-CD staples for the past five years. Between the bitter-yet-optimistic break-up track “I’m Gonna Find Another You,”

WHEN ON THE LADDER OF SUCCESS, DON’T LET BOYS LOOK UP YOUR DRESS!

the depressingly dreamy “Stop This Train,” and the jazzy, falsetto-ridden vocals of “Vultures,” Mayer proves talent knows no genre.

As a phenomenal studio album to complement Try!’s live tunes, Continuum exhibits Mayer’s immense jazz and blues skills while still catering to his pop-rock audience, a feat that few have yet to conquer.

2. How We Operate by Gomez I may live in a sorority, but don’t assume that I listen to Gomez only because they were featured on the medical drama fluff-fest, Grey’s Anatomy.

(I’m trying to break the McDreamy addiction with Scrubs’ time-conflicting recent return ... let’s hope it works) How We Operate deserves to be ranked as one of the best albums put out this year, regardless of not being as famous or acclaimed as other top contenders.

Gomez is slightly reminiscent of Guster, whose lackadaisical songs fall short of the addictive poprock niche into which Gomez has settled. With

bands like Snow Patrol and The Fray monopolizing the airwaves, hearing similar tunes being performed by musicians with more than cliché guitar skills is a welcome change. Tracks like the calmingly dissonant “Charlie Patton Songs” and “See The World,” a strikingly obvious “second-single,” allow the album to live up to the drawl-ridden vocals and catchy melodies of its title track.

I know, I know — Gomez isn’t going to “change music as we know it” or anything, but for a band that’s improving a genre by making it their own and producing high quality music, Gomez definitely deserves recognition for this year’s release.

1. I Am Not Afraid Of You and I Will Beat Your Ass by Yo La Tengo Hands down, this is my favorite album of the year. It’s impressive, ear-catching and, most importantly, one of the greatest examples of creativity I’ve seen since, well, those face-fountains that regurgitate water on little kiddies in Chicago’s Millennium Park.

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E a ch of t he 15 t r a ck s e x ud e s a com pletely d i fferent mu sica l idea wh i le st i l l pr ov id i n g t r a ck- t o - t r a ck flu id it y. “M r.

Tough,” a jazzy dance-floor groove, melts r i g h t i n t o “ B l a c k F l owe r,” a n o r c h e s t ra l lu l laby w ith sooth ing ly ear-catch ing vocals. The last track, “The Stor y of Yo La Tengo,” makes me wonder how indie kids fare with an almost 12-m inute song — as a veteran Phish fan, I’m used to it, and enjoy the calm, distorted guitar melody easily.

Yo La Tengo truly dips in and out of various genres of music, meeting success through each twist and turn their album takes. With each song it grows harder to peg their album into a hyphenated category — by the time I reach “rock with a little bit of jazz-disco-funk-popprog-classical,” it’s obvious that shoving them into a genre box isn’t a good way of explaining a band of this caliber.

Good thing their music is capable of speaking for itself.

mike ingram CU SOUND REVUE

Weather to live music fans: “Take that!”

MIKE INGRAM • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

W

inter has finally arrived, and I’m a little sad. Sure, snow is nice to look at and all, but I was really enjoying the extra days of mildness.

Global warming? El Niño? I don’t care. People who know me, or have even just seen me around town, know that once the time comes to wear hoodies and stocking caps, I can’t seem to help myself. Now I have to wear a damn coat. The worst part about wintertime is the drop in attendance at shows.

Pete Yorn put on an excellent show (okay, his bass player might have ruined it a little) last week, but the turnout was way lower than I expected.

It’s just so much more appealing to stay in and not fight the cold and the ice and the snow. I do it too, but there are some shows this week that are worth braving the elements. So, get those ice scrapers, scarves and gloves ready.

Thursday night in the twin cities is a very excellent example of how great we have it in terms of musical variety. Great shows from several different genres are happening all over the place. For jazz, Zorba’s (as I often mention) is the place to be on Thursday nights. Gyros and crinkle fries will be in abundance, and Kwyjibo (with what I hope is a great Simpsons reference, from before the show went to shit) will be playing from 9:30 p.m. to 12:30 a.m. with only a $5 cover. Looking for some hip-hop? The Courtyard (in the Illini Union) will be hosting Once Upon A Rhyme with Krukid, Moses and Sasha for only $4 with a 9 p.m. start. Come on, who doesn’t want to park twelve blocks away

and walk in the cold? Want some bluegrass?

A new local grass group, The Flatland String Band, will be playing at Urbana’s Iron Post at 8 p.m. for $5. At the Canopy Club, former Lenny Kravitz sax-man and current leader in the jam band scene, Karl Denson, will be playing a funk/jam set with his trio (9 p.m., $12). For a bit more rocking, Chicago’s Buddy Nuisance will play at Cowboy Monkey with locals The Dakota and Molehill (10 p.m., $5). That’s a pretty impressive lineup around town.

Back and recovering from a nationwide tour, Headlights will pop up on Friday night to play a set at the Courtyard. The Polyvinyl Records band, which will head over to Europe in the new year, is one of the best CU success stories of recent memory — a veritable “combat action force,” if you will. Drummer/programmer Brett Sanderson, with his chiseled features and the beard of a Texas Ranger, has become quite the local sex symbol, often needing security to escort him to the van after the show to keep the screaming girls at bay.

Pair him with CU’s newest sex symbol-filled band, Santa, at a show full of youngsters all hopped up on free pizza — you just never know what might happen. “We’ve been keeping an eye on things, and this show could end up being the perfect storm,” said cheesy-snack lover and Headlights member Erin Fein. Guitarist Tristan Wraight was unavailable for comment, but another skinny guy in a trucker hat told the Revue that he’s excited about the free pizza. Headlights and Santa will share the stage with Canadians Shapes and Sizes (Asthmatic Kitty Records) and Chicago band Light Pollution. The show starts at 9 p.m. and is free for UIUC students and $3 for everyone else.

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The other big show on Friday is at Cowboy Monkey, where Wisconsin band The Wandering Sons will have a CD release show. The Sons have made quite a name for themselves in CU with excellent songwriting, musicianship and frontman Cory Chisel’s outstanding voice.

They will offer their new CD, Little Bird, for the first time. It is an outstanding CD that will surely catapult them to a new level as a band. If you haven’t seen this band yet, now’s the time to do it. This time around they’ll be joined by Cameron McGill and the Quartet Offensive, Noah Harris (of the Elanors) and Ryan Groff (of elsinore). Devotees will recall that in my first week with buzz, I wrote an article about Cameron and his work with the string quartet. You can look that article up at buzz’s online’s archive!

Needless to say, this is going to be a night full of outstanding talent. And while no single person on the bill holds a candle to the Brett Sanderson caliber of sexiness, the gross tonnage of man goodness is higher than the Courtyard show. Cory Chisel can pole-dance with the best of them. The show starts at 9:30 p.m., and is $8 — and this is one that I booked.

If you only want to go out for happy hour on Friday, the Iron Post will feature Desafinado, the area’s premier Latin/world beat outfit. It’s even free (5 p.m.). People looking for something a little harder for their evening will find the area’s best hard rock cover band X-Krush at the Highdive with a $5 cover and a 10 p.m. blastoff.

Saturday night at the Iron Post there will be a show with The Beauty Shop, The Tractor K ings and Tr iple W h ip — a l l three are among my favorite local bands. If you have

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yet to see the outstanding new Beauty Shop stickers, check out the Champaign of Blogs at http://champaignof blogs.blogspot.com.

Triple Whip is coming off of a collaborative Rehearsal Space with hip-hopper Kr ukid, and the Tractor Kings are at the top of their game lately. Showtime is 10 p.m. and the cover is $5.

Right down the block at the Independent Media Center (IMC), there is a pajama party featuring 15 DJs. The IMC is in the space of the old Urbana post office at Lincoln Square Mall, and for the night they’ll host a BYOB (with ID) show full of pajama-clad people. The cover is $8 ($5 with PJs on) and the shebang will start at 10 p.m. You can bet that Beauty Shop lead singer and gossipmonger John Hoeffleur will be hightailing it from the Iron Post down to this event with PJs and bells on. He gets all giggly when you get him in PJs, I tell you.

Community radio station 90.1 WEFT will host a benefit with Jack Straw and Little Big Fat at the Highdive early on Saturday (6:15 p.m., $8/10). The proceeds from this show will benefit the station’s attempt at finishing a new studio booth. Tune into the station for more details.

Lots of reasons to go out this week (and if you’re in Seattle over the weekend, openingbands.com has listed the show for you!), so take a break from studying and risk the chance of busting your ass on some ice for the chance to see some great live music.

Mike Ingram hates precipitation. He’s a musician and booking agent, and the local music director at 90.1 WEFT. He can be reached at forgottenwords@ gmail.com. sounds from the scene

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sounds from the scene

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FUNNY SENTENCE.

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THU. DEC 7 Live Bands Karl Denson, Family Groove Company Canopy Club, 8pm $12 Michael Kammin, John McMahon Aroma Cafe, 8pm, free Flatland String Band Iron Post, 8pm, cover Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern 9pm, no cover Krukid, Moses, Sasha Courtyard Cafe, 9pm, $4 Kwyjibo Zorba’s Restaurant 9:30pm, $3 Molehill, Buddy Nuisanace, The Dakota Cowboy Monkey 10pm, $5 Concerts Krannert Uncorked [Larry Gates on guitar is featured along with a local showcase of the best in beverages.] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, 5pm, free Champaign-Urbana Symphony Orchestra [Steve Larsen, conductor, leads the symphony orchestra, chorus and soloists in a celebration

THE BUZZ LOGO MARKS THE SPOT OF OUR FAVORITES.

of the holidays with the best music of the season and a visit from Santa.] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, 7:30pm Concert Jazz Band [Classical jazz charts balanced by some of the world’s newest jazz ideas presented

by Chip McNeil and the University of Illinois Concert Jazz band.] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts 7:30pm

bon Society present their travel experiences.] Urbana Free Library, 7pm, free

DJ Limbs [Hip-hop, breaks and party music.] Boltini Lounge, 10:30pm, no cover

Miscellaneous Counseling Center Outreach Hours African American Cultural Center, 3pm IUBazaar [There will be an array of vendors and sales throughout the Union.] Illini Union, 10am Coffee Hour: St. Nikolaus [Hosted by the Cosmopolitan Club.] Cosmopolitan Club, 7:30pm, free

Dancing Free Swing Dance McKinley Church and Foundation 9:30pm Karaoke Eric Boley’s Boneyard Karaoke Memphis on Main, 7:30pm cover Lectures/Discussions “Adventures on the Equator: Ecuador and the Galapagos” [Helen Parker and the Champaign County Audu-

Recreation Lunch & Bowling [For $32, four people can rent shoes, bowl a game, get fountain drinks from the snack counter and enjoy sharing a large 18” pizza from Sbarro. Please reserve your lane at least one day in advance.] Illini Union, 12pm

Meetings International Students Support Group [A forum for international students to offer and receive support in the process of navigating their experiences at the Univer-

sity and in U.S. culture.]

Student Services Arcade Building, 4:45pm Queer Women of Color [Provides a safe space and friendly environment for all LGBTQA women of color to share, listen and express themselves.] Illini Union 9pm

Live Bands Billy Galt Sings the Blues Blues BBQ, 11:30am Desfinado Iron Post, 5pm free New Orleans Jazz Machine Cowboy Monkey, 5:30, $2 Martini Brothers Huber 8pm, cover

Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Headlights, Shapes and Sizes, Light Pollution, Santa Courtyard Cafe, 9pm, UIUC students free/$3 Mother Popcorn Iron Post 9pm, cover Wandering Sons, Cameron McGill and The Quartet Offensive, Noah Harris Cowboy Monkey 9:30pm, $7

X-Krush Highdive, 10pm, $5 Concerts Sandi Patty Yuletide Joy Christmas Show [Christmas and gospel music fans alike will enjoy this show.] Assembly Hall, 7:30pm Tons ‘O Fun Band & The Boat Drunks [Celebrate the holidays with the FunheadParrothead Holiday Show.]

Virginia Theatre, 7:30 $10/$25 VIP UI Symphony Orchestra [Featuring Donald Schleicher, conductor and Michael Holmes, saxophone.] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, 7:30pm UI Philharmonia and Symphonic Band I [Featured conductors Louis Bergonzi and Kenneth Steinsultz lead the

Headlights Shapes and Sizes Light Pollution Santa

Family Fun Fresh Fruit at Curtis Orchard Curtis Orchard, 9am

Dec. 8, 8 p.m.

Courtyard Café, UIUC students free/$3

Mind/Body/Spirit Relaxation Room at OASIS [Visit the relaxation room to enjoy a 20-minute guided imagery experience while taking a break from the hectic demands of your day.] McKinley Health Center, 10am, UIUC students free/$5 faculty and staff

Dec. 9, 6:15 p.m., WEFT Happy Hour 5 p.m.

Highdive, $8 in advance/$10

WEFT 90.1 FM, Community Radio for East Central Illinois, brings Chicago based-jam band Jack Straw featuring Little Big Fat to you live this Saturday at The Highdive.

Jack Straw came into being in 2000 after guitarist Jon Gram and keyboardist Barry Brown were brought together by a mutual music-loving friend. Along with original compositions, Jack Straw performs acoustic and electric songs and mixes the songs of The Grateful Dead, The Allman Brothers Band, Phish and more.

Little Big Fat will open the show, blending their version of jam band sounds with rock, blues, R&B and funk with moments of jazz-rock fusion.

Tickets are available at Record Swap, Exile on Main St. and The Highdive. All proceeds will go toward WEFT’s main studio renovation.

—Annette Gonzalez

Recreation Lunch & Bowling Illini Union 12pmm

Shapes and Sizes This is probably the best lineup the Courtyard Café has rounded up this semester. Not only is this concert free, but there will be pizza too. Yes, I know, you are totally unable to say no. What better way to not study for finals? Hear four fantastic bands while tasting delicious, cheesy pizza. It’s a night to use many senses at the same time.

Shapes and Sizes, members of the Asthmatic Kitty record label, are everything you’d want or expect from a labelmate of Sufjan Stevens. Masters of the slow build up, their songs start simply and grow to complex and gigantic proportions. With as many instruments as a high school orchestra, Shapes and Sizes’ dynamic music is something to see. Tell finals to piss off and come see this free show.

—Brian McGovern

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DJ DJ Bozak (Red Bull Music Academy) Soma Ultralounge 9pm, $5 Hip-Hop and R&B DJ Nargile 9pm, free until 10pm/$5 DJ Tim Williams Highdive 10:30pm, $5

Sporting Events Illinois Women’s Gymnastics [Mixed Pairs Exhibition.]

Huff Hall, 7pm

Family Fun Fresh Fruit at Curtis Orchard Curtis Orchard, 9am Kids Night Out [Kids kindergarten through third grade are invited to play with friends, play games, watch a movie and enjoy snacks.

Supervision by trained Champaign Park District staff.] Hays Recreation Center, 6:30pm Mind/Body/Spirit Relaxation Room at OASIS McKinley Health Center 10am, UIUC students free/$5 faculty and staff

SAT. DEC 9

Light Pollution is from the great town of Dekalb, Ill., CU’s northern neighbor. The fivesome has shared the stage with indie greats like The Robot Ate Me, Saturday Looks Good To Me and Wooden Wand. They have a power pop-based sound filled with echoing guitars and overpowering keyboards. At the core of the songwriting however, it’s closer to the likes of Bright Eyes and Cursive.

IN

DJ DJ Bozak (Red Bull Music Academy) Soma Ultralounge 9pm, $5 Hip-Hop and R&B DJ Nargile 9pm, free until 10pm/$5 DJ Mertz Boltini Lounge 10pm, free DJ Dance Party Canopy Club 10:30pm, cover

Workshops Community Film Making Workshop [All are invited to learn about filmmaking opportunities in the community and how your business can be a valuable resource. Sponsored by High Tech Edge.] Illinois Terminal Downtown, 5pm

Headlights and Santa, two local acts, already have the reputation of putting on great shows. The two other bands, which most of you are less familiar with, are also expected to do their equal share in rocking your pants and other articles of clothing off.

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The Beauty Shop, The Tractor Kings Iron Post, 9pm, $5 Treologic Cowboy Monkey 10pm, $5

Film “Rites of the Season” [Rites takes viewers on an exploration of the winter solstice and the cultural events that accompany this time of year.] William M. Staerkel Planetarium, 8pm

Yoga & Meditation Class [Dada Madhuvidyananda, Yogic Monk and teacher, will lead.] Ananda Liina Yoga & Meditation Center 7:30pm

Jack Straw with special guest Little Big Fat

finale to the fall semester concert schedule.] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, 7:30pm Girl’s Next Door Winter Show [Annual winter concert will be held by the University of Illinois female acappella group in conjunction with co-ed jazz acappella group No Strings Attached.]

Lincoln Hall, 8pm, $5 students/$7

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke American Legion Post 71 8pm, free

PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.MYSPACE.COM/SHAPESANDSIZES

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FRI. DEC 8

Live Bands WEFT 90.1 FM presents Jack Straw with special guest Little Big Fat [All proceeds benefit WEFT’s main studio renovation.] The Highdive, 6:15pm, $8 in advance/$10 The Impalas Hubers, 8pm cover Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Full Throttle Game On Sports Tavern, 9pm, no cover Dropsixx, Justify The Means, Left 4 Dead, The Verdict Canopy Club, 9pm, $5

sounds from the scene

Concerts GAC Country Music Christmas Tour [Deana Carter, Julie Roberts, Blue County, Steve Azar and Bucky Covington present their biggest hits and holiday favorites.] Assembly Hall, 7:30pm

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s 9pm Film “Holiday Inn” (1942) Virginia Theatre, 1pm, $3 “White Christmas” (1954) Virginia Theatre, 7pm, $3 “Rites of the Season” William M. Staerkel Planetarium 8pm Miscellaneous Lincoln Square Village Holiday Market [Shoppers will find produce, baked goods, holiday gifts, crafts, plants and more.] Lincoln Square Mall, 9am Fundraisers Crisis Nursery Annual Children Holiday Shop [Fundraiser for Crisis Nursery.

This shop allows children to shop for gifts for their families and friends within their own budget. Volunteers assist the children, toddlers through age 12, to fill their shopping list from items priced between one to seven dollars.] Lincoln Square Mall, 10am Family Fun Fresh Fruit at Curtis Orchard Curtis Orchard, 9am

Candy Christmas Trees [Children of all ages are invited for Christmas tree stories and songs. Then have fun making a candy Christmas tree to take home.] Urbana Free Library, 11am Spanish Storytime [Do you speak Spanish? Do you want to learn Spanish?

Families are invited to come.] Urbana Free Library 2pm, free Mind/Body/Spirit Relaxation Room at OASIS Illini Union, 12pm. UIUC students free/$5 faculty and staff

SUN. DEC 10 Live Bands Leigh Meador Organ Trio Iron Post, 7pm, cover Jim Cole, Brian Wilkie, David Easley & Josh Quirk Cowboy Monkey, 8pm, $5 Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, no cover Concerts Arlie Neaville & Friends [Christian music and singing with free food and refreshments.] Urbana Civic Center, 2pm Miscellaneous Sinai Temple Gift Shop Chanukah Showcase [Shop for things you need to celebrate Chanukah.] Sinai Temple, 9am Family Fun Fresh Fruit at Curtis Orchard Curtis Orchard, 9am Children’s Christmas Party [The Women’s Auxiliary of American Legion Post #559 invite all to come have snacks and treats, be entertained by story tellers and other performers and enjoy a special visit from Santa Claus himself!]

American Legion Post #559, 3pm

Crisis Nursery Annual Children Holiday Shop Lincoln Square Mall, 12pm

MON. DEC 11

art & theater

Live Bands Jazz Jam with MRS Trio Iron Post, 6pm, cover Open Mic Night Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free

The Nutcracker [With the Champaign-Urbana Ballet and Sinfonia da Camera] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts through Dec. 10

culture of Islamic West Africa through a dynamic and influential movement in Senegal known as the Mouride Way.] Krannert Art Museum through Dec. 31

Recreation Lunch & Bowling Illini Union 12pm

A Christmas Story [Humorist Jean Shepard’s memoir of growing up in the Midwest of the 1940s follows 9-year-old Ralphie Parker in his quest to get a genuine Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas.] Parkland College Theatre through Dec. 10

Surrealist Interventions: Selections from Krannert Art Museum and the University of Illinois Library [This exhibition pairs Surrealist paintings, photographs, prints and drawings from the Krannert Art Museum collection with the movement’s experiments in print culture from manifestos and tracts to elaborately designed serials and books on loan from the University of Illinois Library.] Krannert Art Museum through Dec. 31

Family Fun Fresh Fruit at Curtis Orchard Curtis Orchard, 9am Mind/Body/Spirit Relaxation Room at OASIS McKinley Health Center 10am, UIUC students free/$5 faculty and staff

TUE. DEC 12 Live Bands Billy Galt Sings the Blues Blues BBQ, 11:30am Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, no cover DJ DJs Hoff and Bambino [Hard Rock/Punk.] Mike ‘N Molly’s, 10pm DJ Delaney and DJ Wesjile Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free DJ Tremblin BG Barfly, 10pm Subversion: DJ TwinScin and DJ Evily Highdive, 10pm, $2 Chris O [A blend of downtempo and deep house.] Boltini Lounge, 10:30pm no cover Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovantis, 9pm Karaoke with Randy Miller Bentley’s Pub, 9:30pm, free Recreation Red Pin Tuesdays [Strike when the head pin is red to win a free game!] Illini Union, 6:30pm

Harry Breen: An Exhibition of Oil Paintings (2001-2006) Techline Green Street Studio through Dec. 15 Stone Cold Dead Serious [A pinball wizard of the 21st century, Wynne Ledbetter is surrounded by despair. His father is wasting away on workman’s comp, his mother is a double-shift waitress and his sister is a dropout junkie. But Wynne has a plan. One of only three players in the country to solve the Tang Dynasty computer game, he will travel to the championships in New York City, where the winner pockets a million dollars.] Station Theatre through Dec. 16

When We Were Young: New Perspectives on the Art of the Child [“When We Were Young” juxtaposes selected childhood works of preeminent historical artists with modern and contemporary children’s drawings to explore the criteria used for assessing prodigious artistic talent in the very young.] Krannert Art Museum through Dec. 31

New Tricks by the Old Dogs [A show of new artwork by 12 retired faculty artists from the University of Illinois.] Cinema Gallery through Dec. 23 A Saint in the City: Sufi Arts of Urban Senegal [This exhibition explores the arts and expressive

Small Work Plus: A Display of Quilt Art by Mary McDonald [McDonald’s quilts and fiber art are inspired by life events: a meaningful book or piece of art, the natural world, the transition to a new life stage or the gift of friendship.] Pages for All Ages through Feb. 14

Illio Yearbookeks Groups & Gre page sales Put your group in the 2007 Illio!

Developmental Services Center Volunteers The Developmental Services Center provides vocational, residential, clinical and case management support services to the developmentally disabled of Champaign County. Volunteers are needed to provide maintenance at group homes. Tasks include holiday decorating, window washing, gutter cleaning and snow shoveling.

Volunteers not only will help provide a safe, clean and festive environment for residents during the winter months, but will also have the opportunity to organize community outings. Interested? Contact Patty Walters at 356-9176.

Going on NOW! Call 337-8315

[request line: 337-1071]

PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.DSC-ILLINOIS.ORG/RESIDENTIAL

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Miscellaneous Holiday Party for Friends of KAM [Friends of Krannert Art Museum are invited to this festive annual event.] Krannert Art Museum 5:30pm Meetings Women’s Support Group [A support group for female students who have experienced sexual assault/abuse within a relationship.] Women’s Studies House, 6:30pm Family Fun Fresh Fruit at Curtis Orchard Curtis Orchard, 9am Mind/Body/Spirit Relaxation Room at OASIS McKinley Health Center 10am, UIUC students free/$5 faculty and staff

WED. DEC 13 Live Bands Irish Traditional Music Session Bentley’s Pub, 7pm, free Chip Stephens Trio Iron Post 8pm, cover Fuedin’ Hillbillys Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, no cover Tommy G at Geo’s [Come for live acoustic rock and requests.]

Geovantis, 9pm Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin, The Changes, Melty Melty, Hypno Music Cor Canopy Club, 9pm, $7 DJ DJ Stifler Highdive, 8pm $3/$5

I’M NOT CYNICAL. I’M JUST EXPERIENCED. Ladies Night with DJ Supa Nargile, 9pm, ladies free before 11pm Tropicale Wednesdays: DJ Bris, DJ Delayney Soma Ultralounge, 9pm, $5

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venues Alumni Tap | 209 S Broadway, Urbana 3848800 Aroma Café, 118 N Neil, Champaign 356-3200 Assembly Hall | 1800 S First, Champaign 333-5000 American Legion Post 24 | 705 W Bloomington, Champaign 356-5114 American Legion Post 71 | 107 N Broadway, Urbana 367-3121 bacaro | 113 N Walnut, Champaign 398-6982 Barfly | 120 N Neil, Champaign 352-9756 Bar Louie | 510 E John, Champaign 352-9756 Bentley’s | 419 N Neil, Champaign 359-7997 Billy Barooz Bar and Grill | 1309 E Washington, Urbana 239-7264 The Blind Pig | 120 N Walnut, Champaign 398-1532 Boomerang Bar and Grill | 1309 E Washington, Urbana 239-7264 Borders Books, Movies & Café | 802 W Town Center Blvd, Champaign 351-9011 Brickhouse & OTB | 1901 S High Cross, Urbana 367-0904 Brother’s Bar and Grill | 613 E Green, Champaign 328-5531 Boltini Lounge | 211 N Neil, Champaign 378-8001 Boardman’s Art Theater | 126 W Church, Champaign 355-0068 The Brass Rail | 15 E University, Champaign 352-7512 Buffalo Wild Wings Grill & Bar | 907 W Marketview, Champaign 378-4400 Bunny’s | 119 W Water, Urbana 367-8175 Café Kopi | 109 N Walnut, Champaign 359-4266 Café Luna | 313 E Green, Champaign 344-1895 The Canopy Club | 708 S Goodwin, Urbana 367-3140 Channing-Murray Foundation/Red Herring | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana 344-1176 Chester Street Bar | 63 Chester, Champaign 356-5607 Chief’s | 123 S Mattis, Champaign 359-2177 Chubby’s Pub | 313 E Green, Champaign 328-7232 The Courier Café | 111 N Race, Urbana 328-1811 The Clybourne | 706 S Sixth, Champaign 3831108 C.O. Daniels | 608 E Daniel, Champaign 337-7411 The Courtyard | Illini Union, 1401 W

Dancing Tango and Salsa Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm no cover Learn Traditional Greek Dance Armory Building, 8pm Recreation Lunch & Bowling Illini Union 12pm Miscellaneous Quiet Study Halls African American Cultural Center 8pm Guitar Hero Night Cowboy Monkey, 10:30pm, free Family Fun Fresh Fruit at Curtis Orchard Curtis Orchard, 9am Toddler Time: Snow [Children ages 2 through 4, with an adult, are invited to enjoy songs and stories about winter and snow. A craft will be included.] Urbana Free Library, 10:30am, free Mind/Body/Spirit Relaxation Room at OASIS McKinley Health Center 10am, UIUC students free/$5 faculty and staff Wine Tasting Esquire Lounge 6pm Seniors Munchies with Mary [Current events, jokes, poems and more. Bring a sack lunch.

Snacks will be provided.] Hays Recreation Center 12pm

Green, Urbana 333-4666 Cowboy Monkey | 6 Taylor, Champaign 398-2688 Crane Alley | 115 W Main, Urbana 384-7526 Curtis Orchard | 3902 S Duncan, Champaign 359-5565 D.R. Diggers | 604 S Country Fair, Champaign 356-0888 Embassy Tavern & Grill | 114 S Race, Urbana 384-9526 Esquire Lounge | 106 N Walnut, Champaign 398-5858 Fallon’s Ice House | 703 N Prospect, Champaign 398-5760 Farren’s Pub & Eatery | 308 N Randolph, Champaign 359-6997 Fat City Saloon | 505 S Chestnut, Champaign 356-7100 Fiesta Café | 216 S First, Champaign 352-5902 Fire Haus | 708 S Sixth, Champaign 344-4171 Geo’s Grill and Chill | 604 N Cunningham, Urbana 367-5888 The Great Impasta | 114 W Church, Champaign 359-7377 Guido’s | 2 E Main, Champaign 358-3148 The Highdive | 51 Main, Champaign 356-0006 Huber’s | 1312 W Church, Champaign 352-0606 Illini Inn | 901 S Fourth, Champaign 344-5209 Illinois Disciples Foundation | 610 E Springfield, Champaign 3528721 Independent Media Center | 202 South Broadway, Urbana 344-8820 The Iron Post | 120 S Race, Urbana 337-7678 Jackson’s Ribs-n-Tips | 116 N First, Champaign 355-2916 Jillian’s | 1201 S Neil, Champaign 355-2800 Joe’s Brewery | 706 S Fifth, Champaign 384-1790 Jupiter’s | 39 E Main, Champaign 398-5988 Kam’s | 618 E Daniel, Champaign 337-3300 Krannert Art Museum | 500 E Peabody, Champaign 3331861 Krannert Center for the Performing Arts | 500 S Goodwin, Urbana Tickets: 333-6280, 800-KCPATIX La Casa Cultural Latina | 1203 W Nevada, Urbana 333-4950 Lava | 1906 W Bradley, Champaign 352-8714 Legends | 522 E Green, Champaign 355-7674 Main Attraction Café | 119 W Main, Urbana 367-0096 Mike ‘n

Molly’s | 105 N Market, Champaign 355-1236 Mulligan’s Ale House | 604 N Cunningham, Urbana 367-5888 Murphy’s Pub | 604 E Green, Champaign 352-7275 Nargile | 207 W Clark, Champaign 239-7608 Nick’s Café | 2000 N Neil, Champaign 355-8433 The Office | 214 W Main, Urbana 344-7608 The Office II | 302 S Country Fair, Champaign 398-6332 OPENSOURCE |12 E. Washington, Champaign http://opensource. boxwith.com Parkland College Theatre | 2400 W Bradley, Champaign 351-2528 Phoenix | 215 S Neil, Champaign 355-7866 Phoney Mahoney’s | 1206 N Mattis, Champaign 351-5058 Pia’s Sports Bar & Grill | 1609 W Springfield, Champaign 351-1993 Red Rock Bar & Eatery | 313 E Green, Champaign 344-2666 Rock’s | 25 E Springfield, Champaign 239-7625 Rose Bowl Tavern | 106 N Race, Urbana 367-7031 Silver Bullet Bar | 1401 E Washington, Urbana 3440937 Station 211 | 211 E. Green, Champaign 367-9915 Springer Cultural Center | 301 N Randolph, Champaign 398-2376 Spurlock Museum | 600 S Gregory, Urbana, 333-2360 The Station Theatre | 223 N Broadway, Urbana 384-4000 Strawberry Fields Café | 306 W Springfield, Urbana 328-1655 TK Wendl’s | 1901 S Highcross, Urbana 2555328 Tommy G’s | 123 S Mattis, Country Fair Shopping Center 359-2177 Tod & John’s | 201 N Broadway, Urbana 367-0904 Tumble Inn Tavern | 302 S Neil, Champaign 356-0012 762-8116 University YMCA | 1001 S Wright, Champaign 344-0721 Urbana Civic Center | 108 Water, Urbana 384-2375 Virginia Theatre | 203 W Park, Champaign 356-9053 White Horse Inn | 112 1/2 E Green, Champaign 352-5945 Zorba’s | 627 E Green, Champaign 344-0710

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Fri. 1:45 4:30 7:15 9:35 11:50 Sat. 11:30 1:45 4:30 7:15 9:35 11:50 Sun. - Thu. 1:45 4:30 7:15 9:35

THE NATIVITY STORY (PG) (DLP)Fri. 1:00 1:30 3:10 3:40 5:20 5:50 7:30 8:00 9:40 10:00 11:55 (DLP) Sat. 11:00 1:00 1:30 3:10 3:40 5:20 5:50 7:30 8:00 9:40 10:00 11:55 (DLP) Sun. - Thu. 1:00 1:30 3:10 3:40 5:20 5:50 7:30 8:00 9:40 10:00 DEJA VU (PG–13) (DLP) Fri. - Thu. 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:45 DECK THE HALLS (PG) (DLP) Fri. & Sat. 12:30 2:45 5:00 7:15 9:30 11:40 (DLP) Sun. - Thu. 12:30 2:45 5:00 7:15 9:30

THE FOUNTAIN (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 2:00 7:05 TENACIOUS D IN: THE PICK OF DESTINY (R) (DLP) Fri. 1:10 3:15 5:20 7:30 9:35 11:40 (DLP) Sat. 11:00 1:10 3:15 5:20 7:30 9:35 11:40 (DLP) Sun. - Thu. 1:10 3:15 5:20 7:30 9:35

CASINO ROYALE (PG–13) (DLP) Fri. 1:20 2:00 4:10 5:00 7:00 8:00 9:50 10:45 (DLP) Sat. 11:00 1:20 2:00 4:10 5:00 7:00 8:00 9:50 10:45 (DLP) Sun. - Thu. 1:20 2:00 4:10 5:00 7:00 8:00 9:50 HAPPY FEET (PG) (DLP) Fri. & Sat. 12:00 2:25 4:50 7:15 9:30 11:45 (DLP) Sun. - Thu. 12:00 2:25 4:50 7:15 9:30

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THE SANTA CLAUSE 3: THE ESCAPE CLAUSE (G) (DLP) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 3:10 5:20 7:30 9:50 12:00 (DLP) Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:10 5:20 7:30 9:50

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WHO DOESN’T WANT AN OFFICIAL RED RYDER RANGE MODEL AIR RIFLE? Parkland Theatre’s student production of A Christmas Story opens this weekend.

KERI CARPENTER • STAFF WRITER

T

Schnarre explained that many things were changed from the original theatrical adaptation of the popular film. He said that one thing that was changed was concerning the Adult Ralph, played by Matt Fear. In the show, Fear walks around and narrates the story; however, in the original play, the Adult Ralph was never originally seen by the audience. On the stage, Fear is able to entice the audience with his captivating voice and animated facial expressions.

“My favorite part about the show is working with all the other people in the cast. You get to know people in the community,” said Rob Zaleski, who plays three different characters in the show. Zaleski is able to reveal his unique acting talent and ability to switch roles as a mean bully, Scut Farkas, Black Bart and as Santa’s helper — an elf.

“This is my first speaking role ... it’s a lot harder than you think — you think you just get up and read some lines,” Zaleski said.

Rain, snow or freezing cold, the cast was dedicated to the show, practicing five to six days every week for the past month.

“One challenge was weather ... but [the cast] is counting on you and you can’t fail them,” Myler said.

Horner agreed and said that “trying to get everyone here at the same time” was a challenge.

“At the end of the semester everything’s crazy,” Schnarre added.

“One struggle I’ve had is time management. I don’t sleep very much,” Zaleski admitted with a laugh.

Last Friday, five days before opening night, the cast welcomed a new member to the team. Even after losing the Randy they had been working with for the past month, the cast knew that the show had to

go on. They were able to adjust quickly to the new younger brother of Ralphie, Ian Carpenter, and within minutes of their first rehearsal with him, he was digging his face into a bowl of oatmeal, snorting like a pig and triggering laughs throughout the theater.

Despite their ups and downs, the cast of A Christmas Story has persevered. They hope to appeal to a wide audience and bring the comedy of the film to life.

A Christmas Story runs for one weekend only, Dec. 6 to 10. Tickets can be purchased at Parkland Theatre Box Office by calling 351-2528 or by e-mailing theatre@parkland.edu.

AMELIA MOORE • PHOTOS

his Christmas, most kids are asking Santa for a new bike, a Play Station 3 or their two front teeth. In Parkland Theatre’s production of A Christmas Story, 9-year-old Ralphie, played by Dante Dobbs, wants a “Red Ryder Carbine-Action 200-shot Range Model Air Rifle.”

That’s right, a rifle. He wants that rifle more than anything in the world; even if, as his mother and every adult he knows keep telling him, it can “shoot his eye out.”

A Christmas Story is Parkland’s 16th annual student production.

Unlike the other shows during Parkland theatrical season, which are usually headed up by Parkland Theatre’s faculty, A Christmas Story is directed, designed and acted mainly by students; in addition, the ticket sale profits all benefit Parkland’s theater scholarship program.

“It’s a good play — brilliant. It’s good for the season,” said Chad Myler, who plays three roles — Red Ryder (Ralphie’s role model), a tree lot owner and a delivery man.

A Christmas Story was a choice among several plays that were in a running to be put on this December. Every year, there is a competition between students that want to direct.

“The students submit ideas to a committee and the student panel decides what show will be done. They decide which show would have the most participation and this year, A Christmas Story won,” said Thom Schnarre, assistant director of the show.

“The director is Aaron Clark. A lot of what you see are Aaron Clark’s ideas,” Schnarre added.

(Above) Jessie Long plays a cross-gender role as Flick in the Parkland College Theatre’s production of A Christmas Story. In this scene Flick is “triple dog-dared” to place his tongue on a metal pole outside in the winter and gets stuck. The play will run December 6-10 at the Parkland Theatre in Champaign.

(Left) Ralphie protects his family from his imaginary nemesis Black Bart with his Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle during a daydreaming scene of the Parkland College Theatre’s production of A Christmas Story starring Ian Cartpenter 8, of Champaign. sounds from the scene

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f those holiday movies don’t do it for you and you can’t take one more production of The Nutcracker or The Messiah, the Chicago area has some interesting seasonal offerings on the live stages of that region. The entertainment options vary from firmly established holiday traditions to new plays.

No Chicago area Christmas season can occur without stage adaptations of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. The granddaddy of the good ones is the Goodman’s annual production, which has wowed audiences since the late 1970s. It is still a marvel and this year’s director, William Brown, is not only a veteran Chicago area director, but also a veteran Scrooge from previous Goodman productions.

Book ahead at www.goodmantheatre.org or call 312-443-3800.

In north suburban Glencoe at the Writer’s Theatre, Artistic Director Michael Halberstam will perform his famous one-man version of A Christmas Carol from Dec. 17 to 21; check out www.writerstheatre.org or 847-242-6000 for details. In west suburban Arlington Heights, the Metropolis Performing Arts Center will present its own musical version of Dickens’ classic for the family. But leave the kids with the baby-sitter and head back the Metropolis Performing Arts Center for The Second City’s Dysfunctional Holiday Revue for some R-rated views of the season. A Christmas Carol runs until Dec. 24 and the Dysfunctional Holiday Revue will close on Dec. 30. Check out the details at www.metropolisarts.com or 847-577-2121.

Some ot her u nu su a l show s i nclude A Nutcracker Christmas at the north side Apollo Theater until Dec. 31 (773-935-6100) and the Victory Gardens’ musical stage adaptation of Hans Christian Andersen’s The Snow Queen, until Jan. 7 (www.victotygardens.org or 773-871-

3000). Head west to suburban St. Charles and the Pheasant Run Theater and there Noble Fool Theatricals will have Roasting Chestnuts: Gina Wants You, where such show business icons as Wayne Newton and the USO get their share of holiday satire until Dec. 31 (630-584-6342).

One show will be opening that has no Christmas theme, but is thoroughly entertaining, when the Royal George Theatre at 1641 N. Halsted in Chicago opens A Couple of Blaguards. Authors Frank and Malachy McCourt live parts of their lives in Ireland and New York through actors, and if you are a fan of their previous writings, you cannot miss this production. An earlier edition of this play dates from 1988, long before Frank’s Angela’s Ashes took the literary world by storm. This updated version combines the family memories from that novel and from his other novel ’Tis into some surprisingly stageworthy skits. Perhaps one reason these Irish and American bittersweet memories play out so well is due to the skill of actors Howard Platt (as Malachy) and Jarlath Conroy (as Frank). Their own special blend of blarney pulls you into this family history for two hours. With little assistance on stage but some Irish music, they live the wonderful prose of the some of the best autobiographical memoirs in decades.

A Couple of Blaguards is that secular alternative to holiday-themed entertainment, but it closes Dec. 24, right in the same season as the other Christmas shows. Check out www.ticketmaster.com or 312-988-9000 for details. And, if you missed it before, Mamma Mia will return to the Cadillac Palace from Dec. 12 to 31. Here the music of ABBA gives an old story new life with lots of lyrics that insult no one and entertain everyone. Check out www.broadwayinchicago.

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• PHOTO

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Martin Yurek plays the forever damned ghost of Jacob Marley who tells Ebenezer Scrooge (Jonathan Weir) he will be haunted by three spirits later that evening in the Goodman Theatre’s production of A Christmas Carol.

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LIFE IS LIKE A DOGSLED TEAM. IF YOU AIN’T THE LEAD DOG, THE SCENERY NEVER CHANGES.

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FILM

THE NATIVITY STORY THE QUEEN ERIC NYBERG • STAFF WRITER

PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.ROTTENTOMATOES.COM.

I went into this movie not expecting much in the way of originality. After all, several movies have been made about Jesus which usually include scenes from his birth. A new, straight retelling of the birth story would have to be spectacular to be worth seeing, and this movie does have its strengths.

Director Cather ine Hardwicke portrays ancient life in Nazareth with more humanity and factual accuracy than I have seen in any other movie involving the nativity. Refreshingly, Mary and Joseph come across as real people who are uncomfortable around each other at the beginning of their arranged marriage, unsure of the future, and nervous about raising such an important child.

Screenwriter Mike Rich kept some biblical text in the script, and the dialogue often felt stilted and unnatural as a result. In the first act, the acting was truly boring, with the exception of Mary’s older cousin Elizabeth (Shohreh Aghdashloo), who thankfully delivered her famous “Hail Mary� blessing without reciting it.

The movie improved with the addition of new problems and less saintly characters such as King Herod, played with smooth menace by Ciaran Hinds. The three Magi were often funny as three arguing buddies who discover a celestial phenomenon that occurs only once every 3,000 years, when Jupiter and Venus align with another star — an interesting way to explain the star of Bethlehem, I thought.

Jesus’ birth is the emotional climax that redeems the rest of the movie. Here the most touching line is Mary’s when she assures an awed shepherd, “He is for all mankind,� and lets the tearful old man touch the baby’s face in realization that his savior has finally come. With beautiful shots of the landscape and a fittingly Middle Eastern musical score in which “Carol of the Bells� and “Silent Night� are sometimes faintly heard, the movie is worth seeing. But will people go see another version of a story that everyone knows?

SYD SLOBODNIK • STAFF WRITER

19

www.GQTI.com

&),-

VAN WILDER: THE RISE OF TAJ

Stephen Frears’ The Queen is a compelling docudrama that highlights a week of conflict in MRUGESH BAVDA • STAFF WRITER a modern monarchy as it attempted to deal with the death of a scandalous princess, the wishes The first Van Wilder was an amusing story about of a grieving nation and a progressive new a student staying in college for an extended prime minister. While it’s an interesting mix period of time. It used the charisma and goodof recent historical melodrama, dry political natured personality of Ryan Reynolds, who comedy and subtle satire, non-British audiences played Van Wilder, to hold itself together.

Reynolds opted not may find this more to participate in the fascinating than those fi l m’s s e quel , a nd who claim Elizabeth this was one of the II their leader. smartest decisions he F r e a r s , who for could have made. ye a r s h a s t a c k l e d Van Wilder: T he controversial social Rise of Taj fol lows issues with a touch of W i l d e r ’s p r o t ĂŠ g ĂŠ humor, from last year’s Taj, played by Kal Mrs. Henderson Presents Pe n n (H a ro l d a n d to his earliest works Kumar Go to W hite Dangerous Liaisons and Castle), as a newly My Beautiful Laundrette, appointed professor at with a fine cast and a university in Engrichly blended historic land. Taj finds that video, nicely shows he has been rejected Queen Elizabeth as by the elitist group, a t roubled, a l most (Above) Helen Mirren’s portrayal of Queen Elizabeth II in Stephen Frears’ The Queen is Oscar-worthy. the Fox and Hounds, s y m p a t het ic “r e a l so he creates his own person,â€? as her mon(Below) Without Van Wilder to carry the film, this fraternity, the Cock archy dealt with the sequel falls flat. From left to right, Holly Davidson a n d B a l l s , w h ic h publicity of Princess and Kal Penn in Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj. consist s of other Diana’s tragic death rejec ted member s. in 1997. Criticized by After only a few days, the press for avoiding the two groups begin a any public response house competition for to the death of Diana, the Hastings Cup. Elizabeth is a stern and For some rea son stoic leader. the plot of this Wondrously played mov ie seem s a lot

by Dame Helen Mirren, l ike the fi r st Harr y her performance is the Potter mov ie, on ly one sure bet for an w it h m o r e s e x u a l Oscar nomination this innuendos and dutiful year. As Elizabeth, she dialogue. While Kal is equally confident in Penn was an amusing her conservative purple supporting character dress and smart shoes in the first film, with as her red head scarf, him now taking the brown leather jacket and sunglasses driving a Jeep on her Balmoral estate. lead role his acting and accent become more Mirren shows her most vulnerable side when she annoying than entertaining. He spends most seeks advice from her aged queen mother discussing of his time trying to act like Van Wilder from the first film. the shifting values of her people and nation.

A majority of the plot is laughable besides The Queen also explores the interesting politics of established protocol for dealing with the state the fact that none of it would ever happen in and royal response to a former disgraced royal. It real life; everything in the film seemed to so also shows how the young liberal-minded Tony conveniently fall into place. The story of this Blair (played with great natural flare by Michael movie is thin and unoriginal. Characters are Sheen) faced the challenges of his first months in inconsistent and the film is not even a good office dealing with a monarch who lived by stan- time-killer.

It is rather difficult to make a decent sequel dards of “duty first and self second.� While critical of both royals and the government, Frears’ without the original writers, director or sigfilm treats both with level fairness and makes The nature lead actor. Forget this movie was creQueen an interesting examination of a centuries- ated and stick with the original that was at least mildly enjoyable. old institution in the modern world.

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Jesus’ soon-to-be parents Joseph (Oscar Isaac) and Mary (Keisha Castle-Hughes) make their way to Bethlehem in The Nativity Story. sounds from the scene

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JENNY MCCARTHY • STAFF WRITER

Authors Clare Naylor and Mimi Hare have done it again with their book The First Assistant. Writing mainly in the genre of what could be considered chick-lit, these two women create a fun, realistic world and a heroine that feels more like your best friend than a character. The story began in their book The Second Assistant, where we met Lizzie Miller, a bright, eager girl from the East Coast who was struggling at the bottom rung of the Hollywood social ladder. The First Assistant is the sequel to this book, promoting Lizzie and providing her with opportunities she could never have dreamed of.

What is so great about this book is that Mimi Hare is actually an industry insider — she knows the ins and outs of Hollywood, and more importantly, she knows all the juicy secrets. There’s a lot of name-dropping in this book, as well as very familiar storylines, such as an actress marrying an actor who’s into a weird religion that’s almost cultlike (TomKat, anyone?).

From the red car pet to a romp through Thailand, Lizzie Miller suffers through terrible star tantrums, the evil-doings of the new second assistant and stress of fi nally getting her break as a producer. Don’t let the exotic locations and Hollywood image fool you; Lizzie Miller is just your average down-to-earth girl who worries about her boyfriend cheating on her and tries to keep up with her best friend while being sucked into her career.

The First Assistant certainly looks like chicklit by its cover, but there’s a little more depth to the book than the cheesy female fi ction genre name allows. Having this book around is like reading the thoughts of a best friend; you’ll laugh out loud, you’ll feel embarrassed and you’ll cheer Lizzie Miller on. Give it a try and put The First Assistant on your list of fun books you can fi nally read over break!

Holiday Magic Chemistry Demonstration Show Free and open to the public Limited Seating

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Sponsored by – School of Chemical Sciences – Department of Chemistry – American Chemical Society Student Affiliates

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ARTIST’S CORNER

Harry Breen

ANNETTE GONZALEZ • STAFF WRITER

Is there any particular piece that you have created that you would consider your favorite?

That’s like asking which is your favorite child. I can’t single out one piece. There are a number in both exhibits that I like very much.

You have an exhibition going on right now featuring some of your oil paintings through Dec. 15 at Techline Green Street Studio; tell a little more about that.

The Techline exhibit represents five years of my latest work and paintings that has landscape and floral subjects. There are probably 45 paintings in that exhibit.

You also do sculptures, how did you get started in sculpture?

Painter, sculptor and former art professor Harry Breen.

Harry Frederick Breen was born in Chicago, Ill. in 1930. He did his undergraduate study in art and painting at the Art Institute of Chicago.

Breen completed his graduate study at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. He joined the faculty of the School of Art and Design at the University of Illinois in 1959 and retired from the faculty as a professor emeritus of art in 1985. The 76 year old is currently featured in two exhibits: “New Tricks by the Old Dogs� at the Cinema Gallery in downtown Urbana, and in an exhibition of his oil paintings at Techline Green Street Studio. For more on Breen or to see more of his art work, check out his Web site at www.harrybreen.com.

I got involved in sculpture because I collect ceramics. To get a better understanding of work in clay, I worked with faculty at the University of Illinois in sculpture.

Many of your sculptures were inspired by animals, how did animals become a subject in your work?

I was always very interested in natural worlds and subjects. I had originally made a little animal for my wife. She wanted a rhinoceros so I made a rhinoceros. Somebody saw it and that person wanted a unicorn. Then one thing led to another ‌ If you could be any animal, what would you be?

I like so many. The big cats are wonderful, like lions. I also like camels. Maybe an elephant because they are big and smart and are more sensitive to their kind. I wonder what a psychologist would think about that [laughs].

(Above) Ceramic portrait of a rhinoceros. (Right) Sunflower/Breensward. (Below) Shawnee Hills/ Whip-Poor-Will III. PHOTOS COURTESY OF WWW.HARRYBREEN.COM.

When did you first become interested in art?

When I was a very small child, I started studying painting formally with Sister Mary Stanistia. She painted at the time and painted a lot of movie stars and political figures. She was very prominent in the 1930s and ’40s. I was 13 then and have been interested in art all my life.

Many of your paintings are based off of nature.

What is it about nature that inspires you?

I’ve always been very partial to landscape. I find the juxtaposition of land and sky to be very expressive.

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to tell a story of two lovers who meet in 16th century Spain, again in modern times, and finally in the 26th century on a bubble-like asteroid. The Fountain is a visual spectacle, much like Stanley Kubrick’s 1968 classic 2001: A Space Odyssey, that ambitiously portends to explain the importance of the cycle of life, the acceptance of death and how we are spiritually linked to souls of our pasts. (Syd Slobodnik)

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At Happy Feet’s core is a solid, yet predictable story.

In the icy world of the proud Emperor penguin, each member of this highly ritualized society is born with their own unique “heartsong,” which will eventually lead them to their true love. This is problematic for our endearing hero Mumble (Elijah Wood), a young penguin born without a singing voice. Instead, much to the dismay of his father (Hugh Jackman), Mumble possesses a tap-dancing streak that would put Fred Astair to shame. As a result, Mumble must struggle to find himself and eventually must use his talents to save his friends and family. (Kevin Terrell)

1. Happy Feet 2. Casino Royale 3. Deja Vu 4. The Nativity Story

SANTA CLAUSE 3

5. Deck the Halls 6. The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause

BABEL

7. Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make

10. Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj

Driector Alejandro González Iñáritu gives us three intense, indescribably aesthetic narratives of people pressed to extremes because of bad luck, hard fate and risky choices. But he contrasts the improbable with the common, letting us indulge in his characters and their idiosyncratic cultures — at a Mexican wedding, a Japanese dance club and a meal in a Moroccan village. With patient close-ups, we see subtle gestures and expressive faces. Or in silence, as Iñáritu often cuts out the soundtrack, we have to just gaze at his characters, frequently in their worst moments of panic and anguish. (Tim Peters)

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Bobby follows the events of one day in the lives of multiple characters at the Abassador Hotel in Los Angeles: the manager of the hotel (William H. Macy) who is cheating on his hotel hairdresser wife (Sharon Stone); a fading alcoholic diva (Demi Moore) and her loyal yet slowly-boiling manager-husband (Estevez); hopeful young members of Kennedy’s campaign staff (Nick Cannon and Joshua Jackson); minority hotel workers discussing race issues and baseball in the kitchen (Freddy Rodriguez and Laurence Fishburne); retired hotel employees who reminisce while playing chess (Anthony Hopkins and Harry Belafonte); a teenage girl (Lindsay Lohan) who saves her classmate (Elijah Wood) from going to Vietnam by marrying him. The film effectively utilized the Kennedy assassination as a backdrop which affects all the stories. (Eric Nyberg) BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN Jagshemash! People that laugh at religious, social and ethnic intolerances are those who lack morality and a conscience, but so be it — those things are overrated anyway. Borat is the funniest movie of 2006 and allows audiences to disregard any ounce of humanity because laughing is just too hard to avoid. In this movie, British comic Sacha Baron Cohen plays the character of Borat, a reporter from Kazakhstan who travels to America to explore the cultural differences. Arriving in New York with his friend Azamat (Ken Davitian), he falls in love with Pamela Anderson after watching Baywatch. Borat’s new objective is to take a road trip to California to marry Anderson while stopping at cities along the way to aggravate people. (Scott Frankel) CASINO ROYALE

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The film opens in a film noir-style black and white with stylistic angles. No Bond film has ever been shot in black and white or has ever started with Bond not being a 00 agent yet. As we see how Bond becomes a 00 agent, the film opens with the traditional Bond shooting at the screen, the blood comes down, and the main credits roll. As in all Bond films, there’s a villain. In Casino Royale, it is Mads Mikkelsen playing Le Chiffre, a financier to world terrorists. Chiffre is not a supervillian, rather, he is a man involved in some nasty business

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that Bond has to put a stop to. There are plenty more villains in this Bond film, more so than any other. Almost every person connected to Bond has the possibility to be his enemy, but Bond doesn’t know this yet — he’s still too trusting. (Jenny MaCarthy) DÉJÀ VU This film follows Doug Carlin (Denzel Washington), who’s investigating the explosion of a ferry in New Orleans.

After finding evidence of terrorism, Carlin is put in touch with FBI agent Andrew Pryzwarra (Val Kilmer). Pryzwarra leads a top-secret government program that’s found a way to peer into events exactly four days and six hours in the past. There’s no fast-forwarding, rewinding or saving of the events. The hope is that by following Claire (Paula Patton), a woman Carlin thinks was killed by the bomber before the blast, the good guys will be able to find the bad guy. (Tom Lange) FAST FOOD NATION Fast Food Nation takes us to Cody, Colo., as Don Anderson (Greg Kinnear), a VP for Mickey’s, a national fast food chain, is investigating the production line of their new, oversized burger. Director Richard Linklater then brings us to a border crossing of Mexican immigrants who will soon live crammed together in Cody hotels, eager to accept employment at Uniglobe Meat Packing — a bleached white, sterile plant whose dangerous carcass assembly line is managed by Mike (Bobby Cannavale), a womanizing drug peddler. While at a Mickey’s restaurant, Amber (Ashley Johnson) and her other teenage coworkers ruminate on how they could rob the store and how every keystroke they make on the register is monitored at the national headquarters. (Tim Peters) FLUSHED AWAY When uptown pet mouse Roddy (voiced by Hugh Jackman) is flushed down the toilet of his owner’s penthouse apartment by a slovenly sewer rat, he must find his way back home from the bustling sewer world of Ratropolis. He teams up with scavenger rat Rita (Kate Winslet), who promises to navigate him home for a price.

Little do they know that the villainous frog overlord (Ian McKellen) of the sewer has other plans for Ratropolis.

What makes this film so funny are the conveniently placed sewer slugs that appear at various points in the film to sing a song that emphasizes the mood or moan an eerie groan to set the dangerous atmosphere of certain scenes. They’re downright adorable and have perfect comedic timing. (Jeff Gross) THE FOUNTAIN

In Santa Clause 3, Tim Allen returns as the sometimes reluctant Father Christmas and the former Scott Calvin, who became Santa a dozen years before when he frightened the original Santa off his roof in the first Santa Clause film. Allen’s comic timing and turn of the lame pun is in its usual top form. The main narrative has Santa in near crisis, not only awaiting the birth of his first child, but also because the ever-jealous Jack Frost (Martin Short) is causing havoc in the North Pole. Added to this, Santa’s in-laws will arrive shortly. So in order to keep his true identity a secret, he makes them believe he’s a simple Canadian toy maker. (Syd Slobodnik) STRANGER THAN FICTION Harold Crick, played by a more serious Will Ferrell, is a borderline obsessive-compulsive, pragmatic IRS agent who lives each day the same as every other by brushing his teeth alone, eating alone and going to bed early and alone. One day while Harold is brushing his teeth, a woman (Emma Thompson) begins to narrate every movement he makes in a descriptive manner and better vocabulary than his own, as Crick overtly observes.

The woman knows what Harold is thinking on a deeper level, especially when it comes to an eccentric baker named Ana, played by the talented Maggie Gyllenhaal.

Harold must decide now if he is insane or fighting for his future when the woman tells him that he is going to die. (Mrugesh Bavda) TENACIOUS D: THE PICK OF DESTINY Half of the movie described the unification of Jack Black, a blundering and aging small-town rebel, and Kyle Gass, a burnt-out loser sham — the sole members of Tenacious D. The other half rambled on about their trek to retrieve the magical guitar pick of destiny and the key to their rock & roll successes. Along the way, the two wannabe rock stars duplicate many of the same tired elements that were found in the duo’s album and HBO special: the Sasquatch, Satan, Lee, cock push-ups and various other inanities that I once considered uniquely hilarious. There were several funny screen appearances from actors like Ben Stiller and Meat Loaf, but the rest of the movie lacked creative comedic structure. The anti-climactic conclusion of the movie didn’t help its case either. (Brent Simeson) TURISTAS Turistas follows three upper-middle class white Americans (a brother, his sister and his sister’s friend ... guess who dies) who go to Brazil for vacation. Add in two British tourists (both male), a romantic interest for the aforementioned brother and two Australian tourists (one male, one female). There’s no need to bother with their names, however, as there’s literally no character development in the film. Well, there you have it — a cast of kill fodder for a crazy doctor bent on harvesting the organs of tourists. Unfortunately, you won’t discover this until the last half hour of the film. (Jeff Gross)

Darren Aronofsky’s The Fountain is a strange and enchanting film, much like parts of his other films Pi and Requiem for a Dream. This wildly imaginative film is much more ambitious than his previous works as he adapts a graphic novel he wrote several years ago

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kim rice & kate ruin DOIN’ IT WELL

the stinger

CNN vs. ABC What didn’t make headlines on World AIDS Day

jonesin CROSSWORD PUZZLE 5 6 7 8 9

“Heard of Animals”--sounds 27 Extreme ending 28 “Ma ___’s Black Botlike there’s a few in here. tom” (August Wilson play) Across 1 Ex-Steelers running back 30 Skosh 31 Laura and Bruce Morris 4 Entirely edible 32 Word repeated on “Teletubbies” 8 Italian drink 34 Person who’s been 14 Word heard after shouting “Revolution!” “further” 15 Like some chatter too much?

39 In need of antacid 16 Entered, as by horse 17 Cause your sweetheart 40 “___ Name” (1973 Jim to fall asleep?

Croce album) 19 How pointed wit is 41 Tide rival presented 42 Drum circle sets 44 Sign for a Broadway hit 20 Virgin founder Richard 47 Get the hell out of the 21 Pageant host 22 Give but want back bakery?

50 “Hey there,” on the high 23 Fresh bottle of hair seas product?

51 Reporting bias 52 Possible 2008 candidate for the Dems 55 “I’m up” 57 What uncle sees before sex?

58 One who seeks out the best restaurants 59 “What I Am” singer Brickell 60 Word preceding “I never thought of that” 61 Acquiescence 62 “SportsCenter” channel 63 Country on the Med. Down 1 Fail to shut up 2 More than likes 3 “Breaker ___” 4 Frees (of)

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Logical beginning?

At the drawing board Ending for mountain One of 22 for U2 DiSpirito of the NBC reality show “The Restaurant” 10 Haitian separation exclamation 11 Revered place 12 Band formed by ex-Sex Pistol Johnny Rotten, for short 13 “___ news?”

18 Wind down 21 Flock female 24 Coming after 25 Use breeze 26 Dame ___ Everage 28 Chill 29 “___ we?”

31 Dr. you wouldn’t ask for medical advice 32 Part of 55-down 33 Angelina Jolie biopic about a heroin-addicted supermodel 34 Cancelled Showtime series 35 Word from the Sanskrit for “stone” 36 Siding hazard 37 Pocket protector wearers 38 Joey in the “Winnie-thePooh” stories 42 “Little House on the Prairie” headwear 43 Tagged, maybe 44 “I dunno” gestures 45 Dangerfield whose headstone reads “There goes the neighborhood” 46 The world, in metaphor 48 Dodge 49 “Beyond the Sea” subject Bobby 50 Tiny battery size 53 Sink sound 54 “Push th’ Little Daisies” duo 55 Filmmaker’s deg.

56 “Rocky” interjections 57 Akeelah’s event Answers pg. 26

IN

D

ec. 1 was World AIDS Day. More than 40 million people are infected with HIV (the virus that causes AIDS) globally. The US government’s plan for addressing this crisis at home and abroad boils down to a tidy little acronym, ABC: Abstinence, Be Faithful, use Condoms.

instead of anal or vaginal sex. Or it could mean using condoms and lube when having sex with someone other than your “primary partner.”

Dear Rice and Ruin, Hi, I have a question about your article “Getting Off Good.” Where is a sex store in Champaign? I need to buy some of the items you mentioned. Haha.

—Thanks

ABC While all three of these strategies are important in preventing HIV, the ABC model is limited and hasn’t been meeting the needs of those most at risk for HIV. Dear Reader, Three of CU’s sex stores are owned by a parent comPracticing abstinence by never partaking in any sexual activity is a surefire way to avoid becoming infected pany, Lover’s Playground: Fantasies, Illini Arcade & Urbana News. They all with HIV ... provided that have similar merchanyou also don’t share needles, dise arranged in sections weren’t born to a mom who We applaud folks who including strap-ons, dilis HIV positive or were never dos, anal toys, personal a victim of rape or incest. are committed to being lubricants, condoms, The Be Faithful part vibrators, toys for men is somewhat misleading. monogamous for life. (fake vaginas, penis A more appropriate term pumps, cock rings), couwould be: Be Mutually ples’ toys, games, gifts/ Monogamous. However, We also acknowledge gags, and lots of porn this would only keep you magazines and videos.

H I V-neg at ive i f you r that situation is not realAll these stores have a partner was already HIVmuch smaller selection negative when the two istic or even desirable of gay, lesbian (seemed of you decided to pracmostly geared towards tice monogamy, and neifor plenty of folks. straight men), bisexual ther of you never injected and transgender porn. drugs. You’d both have We were disappointed to do that for the rest of your life. We applaud folks who are committed to in the selection for lesbians. Lover’s Playground stores being monogamous for life. We also acknowledge are open 24/7 to those 18+. Check them out online that, that situation is not realistic or even desirable for at www.loversplayground.com. For locations see the Sex 411 section below. plenty of folks.

For readers who kick it in Chicago, check out CNN Early To Bed, a sex store owned by a woman who So why not adopt an approach that addresses knows that a lot of people do not enjoy the “seedy” HIV prevention in a more realistic way — CNN: feel of many sex toy shops. She set out to create an Condoms, Needles and Negotiation. environment where folks of all genders can “explore Condoms are effective in preventing the spread their sexuality in a comfortable environment and of HIV when used consistently and correctly. be treated with respect by a knowledgeable and This means we need to support sex education friendly staff.” Early To Bed has a sex positive envithat teaches folks how to use them the right way ronment and a great selection of vibrating cock rings and fund programs that make condoms available. ... including the “Jolly Roger” which sports a skull Currently condoms aren’t available in a lot of and crossbones over the vibe! Can we say Pirates of schools and they are not available in any prisons. the Caribbean role-play? Check them out online at Not surprisingly, youth and incarcerated individ- www.early2bed.com. Or stop by next time you’re uals experience high infection rates. in Chi-town. Hours are Tuesday to Saturday noon– Nowhere in ABC is injection drug use addressed, yet 9:00 and Sunday noon–6:00. injection drug use is implicated in more than a third of HIV cases in the US. Unfortunately, there is a ban on SEX 411: SEX SHOPS using federal funding for needle exchange programs.

Needle exchange programs allow folks who • Illini Arcade: 33 E. Springfield Ave, inject drugs to trade in their used needles for new Champaign clean needles. Not only does this keep needles off • Fantasies: 3604 N. Cunningham, the streets, parks and beaches, it has been proven Urbana to drastically reduce the rate of HIV and hepatitis • Urbana News: 602 Cunningham, infection among users and thus their sex partners.

• Early To Bed: 5232 N. Sheridan Rd, And no, needle exchange programs have not been on Chicago's north side right off Lake found to cause higher rates of injection use.

Shore Drive at Foster The Negotiation part acknowledges that even in light of AIDS a whole lot of us enjoy sex and want to continue getting it on. Negotiation encourages us to think about how we can lower our risk while still Kim Rice and Kate Ruin are professional sex enjoying our sexuality. This will look different for educators. Send questions, comments and fan mail every person. It may mean deciding to have oral sex to riceandruin@yahoo.com.

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free will astrology DEC. 07 — DEC. 13 ARIES

March 21 – April 19

In the ancient Hebrew text known as the Second Book of Enoch, the author describes his trip through the ten heavens and a meeting with God. He’s surprised to find that hell is here, located in the northern regions of the third heaven. Why is this relevant to you? Because I believe it might help you understand an apparent anomaly that will soon appear. While you’ll be having expansive adventures in circumstances that resemble paradise, there’ll also be a diabolical area nestled right in the midst of the beauty. It won’t be a big deal or terrible annoyance as long as you recognize it early and plot a course around it.

T A U RU S

April 20 – May 20

“Connections are made slowly; sometimes they grow underground,” writes Marge Piercy in her book Circles in the Water.

“You cannot tell always by looking what is happening. More than half a tree is spread out in the soil under your feet.” Piercy advises us to use this strategy in our own lives. “Penetrate quietly as the earthworm. Spread like the squash plant that overruns the garden. Gnaw in the dark and use the sun to make sugar.

Keep tangling and interweaving and taking more in, a thicket and bramble wilderness to the outside, but to us interconnected with burrows and lairs.” It so happens, Taurus, that this is the perfect astrological oracle for you, beginning now and throughout 2007.

GEMINI

June 21 – July 22

Writing in Whole Earth, Dr. Andrew Weil says, “Any level of biological organization that we examine, from DNA up to the most complex body systems, shows the capacity for self-diagnosis, for removal of damaged structure, and for regeneration of new structure.” I urge you to keep that idea close to the front of your mind in the coming week, Cancerian. Contrary to what authorities in many fields would lead you to believe, you have a lot of innate power to figure out exactly how to fix your own problems, both the health-related kind and any others.

LEO

July 23 – Aug. 22

Never before in the history of the English language have the words “wildfire” and “devotion” appeared side by side. And yet here they are now, together at last, conspiring to convey a subtly spectacular meaning to you. It’s time, my dear Leo, for you to practice wildfire devotion: to be both earthy and vehement, to blend incendiary style with deeply rooted commitment, to be as flamingly relentless as a wildfire in your staunch devotion to your future’s most potent dream.

VIRGO

Aug. 23 – Sept. 22

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but doing lots of housework in the coming days could give you a big lift. At least for now, organizing the clutter and cleaning up a hundred little messes in your home could directly or indirectly lead to improved health, interesting developments in your sex life, and upgrades in your relationship to future work possibilities. It might even free up psychic energy that has been stuck, help you rediscover an important thing you thought you’d lost, and remind you to take better care of a crucial connection you’ve been taking for granted.

LIBRA

Sept. 23 – Oct.22

This would be a good time for you to drink cups of coffee that are half decaffeinated and half caffeinated. And to become more curious and proactive about every one of your love-hate relationships. And to say yes and no in the same breath, and practice patting your head while rubbing your stomach, and embrace your contradictions with big-hearted inclusiveness. I’ll even go so far as to suggest that you may be able to sit very comfortably on the fence as you have your cake and eat it too.

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Oct. 23 – Nov. 21

S AG I T TA R I U S

Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

AQUA R I U S

Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

If you will ever in your life acquire the means to buy a 12,000-square-foot mansion, a private jet and yacht, your own personal manager, and an ecological organization devoted to saving endangered species in far-flung parts of the world, it will be in 2007. I’m not saying this will definitely happen; I just want you to know that the astrological omens regarding your cash flow will be particularly perky in the coming months. But even if you don’t get the chance to find out if extravagant wealth and luxury will corrupt your beautiful soul, I bet you will at least get richer quicker. This week will bring a juicy clue that will show you just what I’m talking about. Pay close attention.

Does anyone have to go to the bathroom, get a drink, or take some Advil? Are there any nagging little concerns that need attending to? I urge you to take care of these or any other matters of personal comfort before we plunge into this assembling-jigsaw-puzzles-while-riding-on-a-rollercoaster kind of week, this swimming-the-backstroke-through-thechurning-waters-of-the-tunnel-of-love-while-wearing-a-medieval-knight’s-helmet-and-your-sexiest-underwear kind of week, this everyone-for-himself-but-we’re-all-in-this-together kind of week.

May 21 – June 20

It’s Adopt-a-Gemini Week. That means it would be a favorable time for you to divorce your real parents and hook up with some new, better ones. If you like your original mother and father OK but still want some additional nurturing, think about looking for a mentor. Strike up a dialogue with a potential sugar daddy or sugar mama. See if you can track down your very own spin doctor, grant-writer, or stuntperson. In short, my lovable and cuddly friend, ask the universe to send you guardian angels who understand you at least as well as you understand yourself.

CANCER

SCORPIO

A Detroit woman became so crushed by despair that she decided to kill herself. Ethel Farbinger’s husband and mother had died within the span of a month, and she felt she couldn’t go on. Retreating to a bathroom with the intention of plunging a knife into her heart, she was diverted from her plan by a vision shimmering in the toilet bowl. There in the water she saw an image of Saint Padre Pio, who spoke to her. “Ending it all will cause more problems than it will solve,” he said. “Let God’s love help you through this ordeal.” Farbinger’s suicidal urges instantly departed, and she returned to her life with a renewed sense of purpose.

I don’t believe you’re in anywhere near as bad a shape as she was, Capricorn, but I suspect there will be at least one similarity between her story and yours: You’ll find redemption where once there was crap.

One of my relatives who was born under the sign of Aquarius once locked herself in her art studio for six months and painted 20 giant canvases all with the same theme: hurricanes extinguishing forest fires. Then she went through a phase when she specialized in painting punk angels with tattered wings swooping down to give birthday cakes and balloons to bums in junkyards. After that she emerged fully into the world again and lived her life in a way that resembled the paintings she’d been doing. She acted like a metaphorical hurricane as she put out metaphorical forest fires, and she went around helping the underprivileged while styling herself in the persona of a punk angel. She’s your role model for the coming weeks, Aquarius. It will be a great time to translate your eccentric dreams and private fantasies into practical actions.

PISCES

Feb. 19 – March 20

If you’re a man, your penis just might grow bigger in the coming weeks. If you’re a woman, your ability to experience profound and poetic emotions will deepen. No matter what gender you are, your capacity for orgasmic pleasure could increase. And this is just a fraction of the advances that are potentially in the offing for your tribe. Buoyant cosmic energies are surging within you, enhancing everything related to your joy and vitality and confidence. It’s as if your animal intelligence is getting a boost from a divine form of lust; as if you’re tapping into a source of high-octane energy that originates in God’s libido.

Homework: I dare you to beam unconditional acceptance at a part of yourself that you’ve always criticized. Testify by going to http://RealAstrology.com and clicking on “Email Rob.”

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buzz weekly

OH YEAH? YOU WANNA STEP OUT OF THE GIANT ROBOT AND SAY THAT AGAIN?

December 7

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D e c e m b e r 13 , 2 oo 6

LIKES AND GRIPES LET IT OUT

ELYSE RUSSO Arts and entertainment editor LIKES 1) Christmas music on the radio: December is the only month when this is acceptable, and I really enjoy listening to Christmas music in my car or at the office. Ask my fellow buzz co-workers; I know they just love it when I put on 97.5 to listen to Christmas music.

2) No final exams during finals week: This has never happened to me before. I have two papers due that week and that’s it. I’m done.

3) The Love Letter: When this movie came out in 1999 it didn’t get a lot of publicity, but it was a great chick flick with a interesting, comical storyline and a beautiful message. However, I don’t think the movie would be as good without its fantastic ensemble cast: Kate Capshaw, Ellen DeGeneres, Tom Everett Scott and Tom Selleck — love them!

WHITNEY HARRIS Copy editor LIKES 1) Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show: Ever y year I’m fascinated by their extravagant fashion show. Not so much to look at their sickeningly flawless bodies but to see what dazzling diamond lingerie they can give the angels.

2) My glacial mud face mask: My new obsession!

I recently fell in love with this product by Nu Skin. I was so happy with the way my face felt afterwards that I persuaded three of my friends to try it the next day.

3) Hot chocolate: When it gets as cold as it is, I make hot chocolate with marshmallows a daily beverage.

There’s nothing better after coming in from the cold.

ANNA STATHAM Music editor GRIPES 1) Cliches: “Who let the cat out of the bag?”

What would possess someone to talk about cats instead of just saying the straight-to-thepoint alternative, “Who told you?”

2) In-class text messagers: So really, it’s not the people who text message during class that bother me.

It’s the people who text message during class and sit in the row in front of me covering the screen of their phone with their other hand so no one else can see it.

Come on. The fact that you are covering up what you are typing makes me want to read it even more.

3) Ladybugs: I’m pretty sure it’s about 20 degrees outside and not much warmer inside my apartment, yet there are six ladybugs buzzing around my bedroom and flying into my walls. Don’t ladybugs hybernate? How did they get into my room in the first place? Are they possibly hibernating in my room?

Unanswered questions such as these do not make me happy when I am trying to study for my exams.

MEGHAN WHALEN Copy chief GRIPES 1) B l a c k F r i d a y: 2,000 people outside Best Buy at 5 a.m.?

People getting tram pled while in search of that elusive Nintendo Wii? Fights breaking out over who was in line first?

Not exactly the true meaning of Christmas. Consumerism and commercialism at its worst.

2) Senioritis: I never thought I’d have it, but I do. I’m like a whiny kid now: But I don’t want to go to class! I’m so bored! Though it is pretty sweet that I’m only taking 12 hours.

3) Even more papers to write: They just never end, do they?

ERIN SCOTTBERG Editor in chief LIKES 1) Alkaline Trio, The Smoking Popes, “None of Your Business” by Salt-N-Pepa and “You Oughta Know” by Alanis Morrissette: This group of circa-1996 music will take you back and release all the emotions that come with being surrounded by assholes during finals. Make sure to crank the volume, sing at the top of your lungs and maybe throw something.

2) Being able to trust my gut: It’s good to know that if something is awry, my female intuition will let me know — particulalry if it’s about other females.

This canny ability came in handy a few times earlier this week and it feels good to know that the weird feeling in the back of my mind wasn’t the result of too much whiskey.

3) Epiphanies: Author Cristina Garcia wrote “Tranquillity is nothing less than good ordering of the mind,” and nothing helps achieve a good ordering of the mind like a sudden realization of the current state of things. My advice? Spend an afternoon epiphanating then indulge yourself in something nice — maybe a candle-lit bubble bath or a nice bottle of wine. Or both. You’ll feel as tranquil as can be.

ILANA KATZ Copy editor GRIPES 1) Finding tickets for New Years Eve: Could this be a more annoying, tedious and ridiculous process? People rushing around planning their nights and buying tickets for $135 and more.

What is wrong with society? I think my dad puts it best, “New Years Eve equals Amateur Night.”

2) Weekend finals: Finals suck, but when they are at 7 p.m. on a Friday night, it’s even more frustrating. Who thought of that? The mean, mean, Idon’t-want-anyone-to-have-fun man?

3) Getting Dark at 4:29 pm: What is that about? I finish lunch then ... bam, its pitch black outside and I feel like it’s past my bedtime.

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BRITTANY BINDRIM Art Director LIKES 1) Pulling three allnighters in a row: I love getting no sleep. I love the fact that not even caffeine wakes me up anymore! I’m crabby, sluggish, moody and have gorgeous dark circles under my eyes. Boy, I love sleep deprivation!

2) Hard drive failure: A few days ago, I plugged in my month-old Lacie drive and heard this beautiful clicking sound as the drive worked really hard to be discovered by my computer. But nope. It’s fucked.

Yay! That was definitely money well-spent!

3) Missing classes where attendance is mandatory: Last Friday, I woke up to discover that it was 11:20 a.m. and I had missed my 10 a.m. studio class. I was planning on just getting a few hours of sleep before class, but must have slept through my alarm. Boy, I was happy because I was really looking forward to the class because a speaker was coming to talk about freelance illustration. Again, do I love sleep deprivation!

AUSTIN HAPPEL Photographer GRIPES 1) Cars that buzz l i ke t h ey’r e f a l l i n g apar t because they have huge subwoofers set WAY too high, don’t have the proper sound insulation or car to handle it: I’m all for good bass in your sound system but jeez! Keep it tasteful! If I hear your car rattling from an ultra-loud subwoofer you probably are trying to compensate for something, cause that’s just not healthy.

2) Cars with gaudy ultra-huge spoilers: They’re not used to provide down-force, they probably create drag and they look ugly ... so why to they exist?

3) Motorcycles that have that ear-piercing gargle-roar as they accelerate: I only see guys ride those things and they usually look like they’re compensating for something.

PUZZLE pg. 24

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EMILY CIAGLIA Copy editor GRIPES 1) Frozen car locks: I really needed to go grocery shopping because I had absolutely no food in my apartment, but when I tried to get into my car, the locks were frozen. Since when do my keys not unlock my car? It’s not like it’s getting warmer anytime soon either. How’s a girl supposed to eat?

2) Friday and Saturday finals: Even if I try to trick myself into thinking having two finals next Friday will give me a lot of time to study, I know by Tuesday afternoon I’ll be spending my time complaining about how people are already done.

3) UGG boots: The other day my six-month old niece sent me her Christmas list (obviously written by my sister). I was astonished to read that she wanted baby UGG boots. Is this kid for real? UGGs are ugly and make feet look gigantic. I’m definitely not starting my niece on that terrible fashion trend.

MONICA BETEL Designer GRIPES 1) All work and no play makes Monica a dull girl: All work and no play makes Monica a dull girl. All work and no play makes Monica a dull girl.

2) All work and no play makes Monica a dull girl: All work and no play makes Monica a dull girl.

All work and no play makes Monica a dull girl.

3) All work and no play makes Monica a dull girl: All work and no play makes Monica a dull girl.

All work and no play makes Monica a dull girl.

TATYANA SAFRONOVA Community editor LIKES 1. Pandora: Pandora is a music Web site where you can create your own radio stations. Example: you say you like the song “Moondance” sung by Michael Buble, and they create a radio station of similar songs. In fact, this particular radio station is so fantastic, my brother now starts online chats with titles of songs that are playing on Pandora. “Moondance!” he’ll say. I love it!

2. Making a Death Star Gingerbread House: I say “pish posh!” to the traditional four walls of the gingerbread house and the mediocre candy slapped on the sides. From now on, the Dark Side rules winter traditions. My friend and I will create this beauty (not to size, alas), this edible death machine that will obliterate the rebels who try to control the holiday spirit!

3. Cooking for people: Even when we wind up sitting around the table, scooping out the “pizza” that didn’t exactly rise to the occasion (ba-dum chk!) with forks and spoons, cooking for others is wonderful. It kind of makes life more meaningful when instead of sitting at home alone and stuffing your face with the quiche you made earlier, you’re feeding it to your tired friends on a cold winter day. sounds from the scene

December 7

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D e c e m b e r 13 , 2 oo 6

buzz weekly •

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.

27

SPREAD HOLIDAY CHEER. DRINK BEER. D o n’t m i s s t he 12 B eers of C hr i s t m a s Pa r t y @ Th e E s q u i r e Loung e next F rid a y, Dec e mb er 15t h.

50% OF TICKET SALES GO TO OPERATION S A N TA

Do you PGU?

- a 6 oz sampling of 12 dif ferent beers which share a unique theme holiday theme - you keep the funny little glass, - FREE munchies, - entr y into raf fles for various beer related items and Esquire gift cer tificates, and - the war m, fuzzy feeling from knowing that 10 of your bucks go to Operation Santa.

T h e 1 3th A n n u a l O p er a ti on S anta Benefi ts t he C h a mp a i g n C r i si s Nur ser y and Par ent Wo n d er s o f Ra n to u l . C ontact oper ati onsant a @ g ma i l . c o m f o r mo r e i nfor mati on about h o w y o u c a n b r i n g h o l i day cheer to our co m m u n i ty ’s l ess f o r tu nate chi ldr en.

sounds from the scene

107.1 FM www.wpgu.com

Tick e ts for beer t a s t i n g a re $ 2 0 : I n cl ud ed . . . .

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BY DOING JUST A LITTLE EACH DAY, I CAN GRADUALLY LET THE TASK OVERWHELM ME.

Carrie’s: 217•352•3231

12 Beers of Christmas

107 N. Walnut Downtown Champaign M-Th: 10.30-5.30 Fri-Sat: 10.30-5.00 Sun: 11.00-4.00

204 N. Neil St, Downtown Champaign

Rebecca’s 217•239•0148

bacaro $1 Sushi

TUESDAY

$5 Martinis

o sonal b f eers

Esquire’s last wine tasting will be Wed. Dec. 13th Six new wines to try before you buy.

Fun and Functional!

MONDAY

ent sea

gs awin r d e Raffl d prizes Pr an Op ocee era ds tio go t nS o an ta

Friday nights ‘til 8

!! "% ' ! % * % ! "%

!& ! % !*% + % ! "% & $ ( $* '%' &%

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12 diffneerrous samples

Sun 1-5

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D e c e m b e r 13 , 2 oo 6

6-9:30 PM

Mon-Sat 10-5

& ( $* & !& ! & % & #' % &$! $&% !'& # !& $* $ '& !!% )

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Friday, December 15

Carrie’s fabulous to funky

December 7

FRIDAY

DJ Mambo Italiano House Music $5 Martinis

106 N. Walnut Downtown Champaign Must be 21 to drink.

Downtown Champaign 106 N. Walnut

we always see the glass half full.

SATURDAY

Salsa Dancing @ 11pm $5 Martinis

One East Main • Downtown Champaign • (217) 531.1166 INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

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bacarowinebarrestarant 111 N. Walnut St • Champaign [217] 398-6982

sounds from the scene