HEALM WOMEN LEADING THE CHANGE
Dr. Scilla Elworthy: Building Peace
Make Your To-Do List Perform Surviving The Juggle
SPOTLIGHT ON:
GRETA THUNBERG RISING UP GEETA SIDHU-ROBB: POWER UP YOUR PLATE
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CONTENTS 08 11
THE GRETA EFFECT DR. SCILLA ELWORTHY: BUILDING PEACE
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SHARE THE LOAD: A PRACTICAL GUIDE FOR WORKING PARENTS
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GILL FIELDING: LIGHTNING THE SPARK OF FINANCIAL POSSIBILITY
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SURVIVING THE JUGGLE
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KAREN DOFF: FROM POVERTY TO EMPOWERMENT
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JUST BE YOURSELF
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GEETA SIDHU-ROBB: POWER UP YOUR PLATE
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HOW TO MAKE YOUR TO-DO LIST WORK BETTER FOR YOU
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ZANDER GRASHOW: FEMININITY AND INCLUSIVITY FOR A POSITIVE TOMORROW
HEALM WOMEN LEADING THE CHANGE
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CONTRIBUTORS
SCILLA ELWORTHY
Three times nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, Dr Scilla Elworthy was adviser to Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Sir Richard Branson in setting up ‘The Elders’, and was Awarded the Niwano Peace Prize in 2003. Today her full attention is on developing Business Plan for Peace resulting from her 2017 book The Business Plan for Peace: Building a World Without War. Her TED talk on non violence has been viewed by over 1,400,000 people on TED and YouTube. thebusinessplanforpeace.org
KAREN DOFF
Karen Doff is a former management professional, perpetual expat, and co-parent to 38 girls. Her career as an organisational strategy and change management specialist with organisations such as RR Donnelley, Cisco and ADIA led her from New York to London, Paris, Hong Kong, Chennai, Abu Dhabi, and, finally, to Mumbai, India. She left the corporate world and co-founded the Aasha Foundation, providing education, healthcare, comprehensive enrichment support, professional development and funding for formerly destitute girls residing in a shelter home in Mumbai’s Dharavi slum. aashafoundation.org
GEETA SIDHU-ROBB
Geeta Sidhu-Robb is an author, inspirational speaker, CEO and Founder of Nosh Detox and Board Apprentice to Invesco Select Perpetual Trust, Board Member for Open Britain UK, Trustee at Montessori St Nicholas, ex corporate lawyer and entrepreneur. Geeta founded Nosh Detox and is now a health coach and nutritionist with a holistic understanding of how nutrition affects body functions. She has applied this passion to help over 15,0000 clients treat everything from problem skin, weight issues and digestive problems to coping with stress and fighting infections. noshdetox.com
ZANDER GRASHOW
A recognised authority on leadership and change, he has been a confidential advisor to presidents, activists and change agents in their most critical moments of transition. Zander is a renowned facilitator, speaker and advisor to leaders around the world, with a broad reach into the global business, philanthropic, entrepreneurial and creative communities. He co-authored Adaptive Leadership: Tools and Tactics for Changing the World and in 2015, he founded Good Wolf Group as the next evolution in leadership, business and personal development practice. goodwolfgroup.com
GILL FIELDING
SHONA EASTON
Gill Fielding is a self-made millionaire with a no-nonsense, positive approach to finance and a personal mission to educate the nation in managing and improving their own financial position. Gill is a qualified Chartered Accountant, runs several businesses and has held several high-profile roles in the city.
Shona is Head Designer and Owner at Shona Easton Design Studio, making high-quality ethical handbags and accessories that help successful women stand out. From making her own clothes on her bedroom floor as a teenager, she went on to design for well-known brands including Next, Esprit, M&S, Banana Republic, and Gap, before setting up her own business. She’s passionate about changing attitudes to waste and promoting full transparency in the global fashion industry, and is also a trustee of the UK’s hidden disability charity “Care & Consideration With A Smile”.
Gill is currently a financial expert for a monthly phone-in show on BBC Radio and has also contributed to ITN and Channel 4’s election coverage. In 2009 Gill co-founded, and now owns, Fielding Financial which she set up in order to help anyone and everyone achieve what she describes as ‘financial freedom’. fieldingfinancial.com
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EDITOR-IN-CHIEF JOANNA MARTIN
It feels like very uncertain times. Here in the UK a recent general election, in Australia bushfires ravaging the country, war ravaging multiple countries around the world, climate change awareness (and all it’s related conflict) at all time highs…
global and our personal. And in this issue of HEALM we’ve done just that. We’ve got great advice on how to handle the day-to-day like time management alongside our spotlight on a young woman investing her time powerfully, Time’s Person of the Year, Greta Thunberg. We’ve got simple habits for nourishing our bodies from Geeta Siddhu Robb, alongside the inspirational welfare work of ethical designer, Shona Easton. There’s great insights on handling your own day to day finances from Gill Fielding right next to wisdom from Scilla Elworthy on the Business Plan for Peace. We’ve got insights from coach to global leaders, including Zander Grashow on how to develop our own fortitude for change and charity worker Karen Doff.
I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling it all deeply. But how do we balance the call to make an impact in the world, with the call in a million other directions? We have New Year’s resolutions to exercise more, a challenge with a team member to deal with, an impending house move. Innumerable personal issues require our attention. Always. And at that same time there are impossible situations to be faced globally. I don’t know the answer, but I do know that the time for either/or thinking is past. We can’t throw ourselves behind a global mission and burn ourselves out in the process. Neither can we hide behind the minutiae of our day to day and ignore the larger issues that face us all. We need a way to address both: our big, and our small. Our
Read on, and find your own little piece of clarity amidst the chaos.
Joanna 07
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GRETA THUNBERG:
THE “GRETA EFFECT� If you have not heard of Greta Thunberg then you most certainly have been living under a rock. Because in the last few years this extraordinary young Swedish environmental activist has stopped the world in its tracks and got it really talking about climate change. She has single handedly proven that age or gender are not barriers when it comes to making a difference when you are truly passionate about what you believe in and passion is something that Greta Thunberg has in spades.
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In the last few years she has received numerous awards and accolades including the fellowship of the Royal Scottish Geographical Society, a 2019 Nobel Peace Prize nomination and she was even named in 2019 Time Magazine 100 Most Influential People and the youngest individual Time Person of the Year.
climate change is a real concern and something that needs to be addressed. This young woman has done what scientists and environmental activists have been struggling for decades to do and that is to get the worlds leaders to take the threat of climate change seriously.
Most importantly for Greta however is that she has got the world talking about climate change.
Since her early days in August 2018 of campaigning outside of the Swedish Parliament holding a hand painted sign that read “Skolstrejk for Klimatet” which is Swedish for “School Strike for Climate,” she has gone on to address heads of states at U.N., met with the Pope, argued with the President of the United States and inspired over 4 million people from all corners of the world to join the global climate strike on the 20th September, 2019 in what was the largest climate change demonstration in the world’s history. In the space of two years this now 16-year-old girl who has both
It all started back in 2011, when she was 8 years old and she first heard about climate change. In the beginning her journey was a personal one. Confused and upset about why no one was doing anything about climate change she began campaigning her parents to reduce their own carbon footprint, give up flying and become vegan. She presented her family with graphs and charts and met with some resistance eventually accusing her parents of “stealing her future”. Her parents opera singer Malena Ernman and actor Svante Thunberg eventually relented to Greta’s requests and Thunberg now credits her parents’ eventual response and lifestyle changes with giving her hope and belief that she could actually make a difference.
Asperger and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder has become the worlds most internationally recognised climate activist and has proven that anyone can do anything despite age, gender or obstacles along the way. The politics of climate action are complicated and complex with politicians and policy makers across the globe struggling to come up with answers or agreements and Thunberg herself does not profess to have a magic solution. But what she has succeeded in doing is to create a
This belief soon took an international platform when in 2018 Thunberg began the school climate strikes and public speeches which thrust her into the global spotlight and has made her the ‘poster girl’ for climate change, inspiring people of all ages that 09
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She has pushed the vague worry of climate change that hovered in the background well and truly to centre stage and has called for urgent action. She has persuaded leaders from local governments to international bodies to make commitments when previously they have hesitated and she has morally shamed those unwilling to act.
injustices that young people face and inspired hundreds of thousands of people from Brisbane to Botswana to make a stand on climate change. Taking a years “sabbatical� from school to further her work the world watches with hope to see just what else this remarkable young lady will achieve.
Greta Thunberg has focused the world’s attention on environmental
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BUILDING PEACE DR SCILLA ELWORTHY
Preventing conflict takes strength, not force. Defusing a difficult situation, whether in the boardroom or on the battlefront, takes an inner steel, a calm head and a presence of mind – but this is something we can all learn.
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Dr Scilla Elworthy has worked for 45 years in peacekeeping initiatives and conflict resolution on a global scale, but the turning point to her success came when she stopped to really focus on her own personal development. While working with the Oxford Research Group in 1982 to find out how decisions on nuclear weapons were made, Dr Elworthy and her team had built the knowledge and understanding, however were unable to open effective dialogue with key negotiators. She needed to uncover a fresh way of working to put her team’s skills to use.
in all the nuclear weapons nations. This work earned her and the Oxford Research Group three nominations for the Nobel Peace prize. Over the following 20 years Peace Direct, the organisation she then setup, worked with locally-led peace initiatives in war-torn areas such as Zimbabwe, DR Congo, Pakistan, Nepal and Sri Lanka. In this work, coupled with her new-found inner strength and understanding, Dr Elworthy realised a strong correlation between effective peacebuilding operations and the ability to harness an ‘inner power’ in times of conflict or crisis.
At this point, Dr Elworthy began to learn meditation and delve deeper into unearthing who she really was. This process of self-realisation led her to realise a new way of promoting peaceful negotiations.
“I realised that the colleagues who were the most successful at preventing war were the ones who also had a very strongly developed ‘inner power’. Those who develop their self knowledge are able to be present in a crisis so that their own fear and anger doesn’t overtake them,” Dr Elworthy explained.
“I was moved to answer the question that had been sitting with me for years, namely ‘who am I?’,” she said. “In that process I learned to self-reflect and to discover and examine my shadow sides, namely my anger and my fear. Gradually, I really realised that as long as I was projecting those emotions onto those I wanted to talk to, they could feel it as well. So, I had to do the hard work to face and address and transform the roots of these very violent emotions as best I could.”
“For example, if you were faced by a knife fight in the street tonight, your initial reaction might be to run away. But, if you were very present, you would be able to find the right way to defuse that knife fight without anybody getting hurt.” Dr Elworthy documented her findings and recommendations in her latest book, The Business Plan for Peace, detailing 25 strategies for preventing conflict. Her book is not just for the planet’s top leaders, but for every one
Over a period of a few years, Dr Elworthy and her team rethought their approach and went on to successfully open dialogue with key policy makers
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“The debris of armed conflict can last for three generations, if not seven centuries, in some places. The cycle of violence goes around and around. I wanted to lay this out not only for the benefit of leaders, who are taking it very seriously, but also for the benefit of ordinary people.” Take another situation, such as fire prevention systems and a workforce of firefighters who take practical measures to educate and assist householders and business owners to have systems in place to essentially defuse a fire before it erupts – however we have not translated this prevention mindset to war. “We haven’t yet applied prevention strategies to war, mainly because war has been accepted over the centuries as a natural part of the human drive. But, if you look at it dispassionately, you’ll find that most war is driven by money. This includes the defence contractors who supply weapons, but also those who make enormous profits out of the chaos of war - money laundering, people trafficking and so on,” Dr Elworthy said.
of us to learn how to become empowered and skilled in defusing conflict – at all levels – and creating a more peaceful existence for our children and beyond.
As well as the humanitarian arguments for conflict prevention strategies, peacekeeping has major economic impacts. When Dr Elworthy analysed the 25 tried-and-tested initiatives that effectively prevent conflict and scaled them up over 10 years, she costed them up to reveal staggering figures.
“Our leaders are generally stuck in the very old 20th century paradigm whereby you need to meet force with force; ‘the more we can arm ourselves, the safer we will be’. However, that’s very outdated in today’s world where the main threats are climate change, cyber war, terrorism, immigration and overpopulation, cannot be met by weaponry. We need to have a greater intelligence applied to the question of security.”
“The total came to only $2 billion dollars, while we spend now $1,739
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billion dollars on militarisation worldwide. I would love leaders everywhere to recognise how immensely cost effective the prevention of war is, if contrasted with what we spend on armaments.”
Most of the time when we think we’re listening, we’re thinking about what we’re going to say back. This prevents us from sensing what’s going on in the other person’s heart. As soon as we go to the heart, we begin to realise is how the other person feels, and then we’ve got a possibility of connecting at a different level.”
So, what can you do? Dr Elworthy believes the key to effective conflict resolution and a more peaceful planet is FQ – feminine intelligence. She is quick to point out that FQ is available equally to men as it is to women, so this is not a gender issue. It is the willingness and pride to demonstrate the ‘softer’ sides of power.
Dr Elworthy’s book has become a business in itself, also titled The Business Plan for Peace. Her team are now busy translating her findings and recommendations into action. Amongst other initiatives, they are working with senior leaders on divestment from weapons production, persuading weapons production companies to divert resources to more socially useful goods, and working with corporations on impact investment (allocating money to peacekeeping initiatives for long-term gain in both business and the surrounding community).
The key FQ qualities include: Compassion, which always goes with action. Don’t just anguish about your situation, but do something about it. Interconnectedness. Everything we do reverberates onto other people and the planet, so we must use our intelligence to care for the planet in the in the decisions that we make.
They are also building an ever-widening community of people who are developing their own peace projects. The Business Plan for Peace has a 12-part on-line course. Each student is working on developing this or her own peace initiative with expert guidance and mentorship. These projects can be anything from organising meditation sessions in the local area to larger-scale weapons divestment campaigns. Each and every one makes a difference.
Learning to listen to intuition, listening to the heart; that’s often where the wisest decisions are made. Listening to each other. This is the biggest asset when it comes to FQ, according to Dr Elworthy: “Really ‘ listening means that I can repeat back what you said, not only the words, but the feelings behind them. That kind of real listening is the fastest way to defuse a conflict.
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SHARE THE LOAD:
A PRACTICAL GUIDE FOR WORKING PARENTS
Increasingly, we are seeing women break the glass ceiling and ascend to positions of leadership and influence. This is a great thing, but even at the height of career success, the reality is that women still carry the brunt of responsibilities and child-care within the home. 15
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This imbalance in household responsibility is not only leaving women utterly stretched and exhausted, but it is also stunting their desires to aspire to leadership at work. This is a sad fact – the more responsibility that a person has within the home the less motivated that person is to put their hand up and assume more responsibility within the workplace. The 2016 findings of the Lean In and McKinsey Women in the Workplace study confirms this: “Forty-three precent of women who share responsibilities evenly with their partners aspire to become top executives, while only thirty-four precent of women who do the majority of housework and childcare have the same aspirations.”
So what can we do to address this imbalance and share the responsibilities? Give credit to the thinking work. A lot of time and energy goes into running a household and a family. It is easy to see who does the physical stuff like unstacking the dishwasher and folding the washing but it is a lot harder to identify and equally distribute who does the majority of the mental work of taking care of the family. This “psychic burden” of parenthood – making sure that everything from play dates to birthday parties and school assemblies are remembered and all of the emotional complexities that come along with raising children are given time and energy. This places a huge strain on parents, especially on women who tend to do the majority of the thinking work for a family.
The fact is, no matter where they sit in the career hierarchy, it appears that women spend more time cleaning toilets and wiping dirty noses than men do and it is not only limiting their potential to achieve but is also leaving them exhausted.
Couples can begin to address this “thinking” divide by making clear lists of all the responsibilities that go into your family life and evenly distributing them in just the way you do the physical household chores. Often one partner is simply oblivious to the mental load of the other, but when they are made aware is more than happy to share the burden.
It doesn’t set a great example to future generations when they see mums, no matter what her profession or how many hours she works, doing the majority of the domestic chores. It perpetuates gender stereotypes and indoctrinates a culture that women have to conform to traditional ideas that they are the primary homemaker, no matter how busy she might be in the workplace.
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Divide responsibilities, not tasks. A more effective way to divide household duties is to distribute them as responsibilities as opposed to tasks this way it allows the person to encompass the thinking work as well as the practical
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management of the task at hand. For example, one person in the family is in charge of managing the family medical care. This means everything from scheduling appointments, paying medical bills, filling scripts, updating school health care information and putting in reimbursement claims. Making sure that a whole “life” category is covered ensures that one person is running that particular area, relieving other members of the stress. When you own a whole area of responsibility, you generally develop an expertise in it which will ensure that it is done thoroughly. Communicate directly and effectively. In other words say what you mean and express what you need. No-one is a mind reader, and subtle cues don’t often work, so stop beating around the bush and start communicating directly and effectively. If you need your partner to do something, keep it simple and ask them to do it.
sometimes you will simply have to let go of things and maybe even lower your standards a bit. It is important to remember that there are many ways to make a bed and just because your partner makes it a different way to you does not mean that it is the wrong way, so take a deep breath and let it go!
Trade Places. Once you have divided up the household responsibilities and performed those roles for a while, it is a good idea to occasionally trade places and experience doing one of the responsibilities of your partner so that you can recognise and appreciate just how much work goes into it.
Until we modernise our expectations of how a healthy family functions, we will continue to see women taking on the lion’s share of household duties, no matter what their profession or how demanding their vocation. It is time that we expect more from our partners and be prepared to hand over the vacuum cleaner.
Renegotiate. Things are not set in stone so if the division of responsibility is not working, sit down and renegotiate – just like you would with your employment contract. Let Go. It can be hard to do, but 17
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GILL FIELDING:
LIGHTING THE SPARK OF FINANCIAL POSSIBILITY
Gill Fielding grew up in London’s East End, the child of a poor working-class family. Her formal education was limited and her upbringing, one of poverty.
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Yet, despite her early hardships, Gill is now a self-made millionaire and a trusted voice in financial advice. She is a successful author, regular radio and television commentator and has appeared as an expert on well-known television shows such as Celebrity Egghead, The Apprentice – You’re Fired and Secret Millionaire .
Her passion is to help others similarly enjoy the freedom and choice that comes with understanding money, just like she has been able to do. “Money isn’t all-important, it is purely a facilitator for freedom and choice, and so having it or being able to manage it gives you freedom and makes you liberated to follow dreams, set goals and learn new skills,” Gill said.
How did she do it? Gill’s foray into the world of finances was somewhat unintentional when she bought a small house near Brighton to live in while at university. She worked hard to save for the deposit herself and bought her 3-bedroom semi, but only lived in it for a short time as it was a long commute from where she was studying. The house was rented out for a few years before Gill decided to sell – and surprisingly quadrupled her money.
Gill’s cornerstone company is Fielding Financial, where she offers a range of property investing courses and seminars, as well as a host of resources to help as many people as possible to begin the road to financial freedom. While she has supported many charities over the years, empowering women to understand and take control of their finances has become particularly important in her work. In her experience, she found it is often women who shy away from dealing with money matters, but that ultimately puts them at a disadvantage. While she was involved with The Secret Millionaire television show, Gill helped set up a support project for single mothers. She worked closely with the group to deliver education sessions and personally donated money to help each of them reach their goals. She stayed in touch and continued to support the group long after filming wrapped to help keep them on track.
This got her thinking about property investing, from where she set about using her street-smarts and thirst for knowledge to perfect the formula for wealth creation. Gill now owns a property portfolio of several million, owns her own company and is part owner of several other businesses. Gill’s story is most certainly an inspiring rags-to-riches tale, but there is more to this incredible lady than her narrative. Through the lessons she has learned over the past 20 years, the hardships and the success, Gill has come full circle and made it her mission to “light the spark of financial possibility for as many people as I can in my lifetime.”
“Many people are scared of money, in particular women who often don’t feel a connection to their money the same
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In 2016, Gill set up her charitable foundation, Money Mum; a platform from which she teaches her ‘financial five-a-day’ principles to a range of people, no matter their background. Through Money Mum, Gill has worked with the Salvation Army to teach participants the basics of financial control as well as how to cook a healthy meal for minimal cost. She has also joined forces with Resurgo to support their Spear initiative which helps young people facing disadvantage find work or education. This year, Money Mum has expanded to work alongside a young offenders’ programme to teach participants money management basics. Learning how to handle financial decisions better and, as a consequence, enjoy greater choice and freedom in life, does not need to be overwhelming or complicated. Gill believes that all it takes to get ahead financially is a little education and awareness.
way many men do. But with awareness and knowledge that fear disappears,” she said. “I saw my mother and her generation hand over any money they had to their husbands, and it forced them into a form of slavery because they had no money for their independence or choice. Women are also taught, in the main, not to involve themselves with money as it isn’t a woman’s skill, and that they are many more important topics such as child-rearing and care provision.”
“Ignorance of financial affairs can be life-inhibiting. Many people ignore their money issues because they don’t ‘like it’, but ignorance and fear will generally make people poor. Like most things in life, awareness enables us to take control and make appropriate decisions,” she said. “A few small skills with money – which are easily learned – can make a huge difference and anyone can be financially free if they choose; it’s just a case of information and choice.”
“I believe that a woman’s place…is in the money!”
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understanding the difference is crucial. Buying consumables on credit is enough to keep you in debt until you retire, for example, a television paid back at the minimum repayment will cost you an outrageous amount of interest – plus the appliance itself is likely to end up in a landfill before you have paid it off! If you do have debt, aim to make additional payments to reduce the interest and regularly review borrowing for better rates and packages.
Gill’s ‘Financial 5-a-day’ As part of her commitment to helping as many people as possible, Gill has kindly shared her top tips with Healm Magazine. Just like we are encouraged to eat our five serves of vegetables a day to stay healthy, Gill teaches five areas to focus on each day to regain financial health as well. This principle breaks down wealth into manageable, understandable segments to work on to clear up misunderstandings and gain that all-important awareness.
4 Understand that money has more value in the future than it does now – as long as the rate of interest or return you get is higher than the rate of inflation. So, if you invest at 5 per cent and inflation is only 2 per cent, your money will be worth more in the future than it is today. Saving and investing a few dollars per day over a working life will make anyone a millionaire by the time they retire.
1 Understand what comes in and what goes out (and where it goes!). Most people don’t know where their money goes each month. Just being aware can enable anyone to make better choices. Put a recording method in place to track spending. Numerous apps can help with this, or use a piece of paper!
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Understand that money is a very emotional topic and should be treated as such. Coupled with this is the concept that any individual is responsible for their financial affairs, and women are particularly bad at this. Women often abdicate responsibility for the money to the male partner. No government, employer or partner should control your money.
Being able to manage or budget from one income point to another, such as from one pay to the next, gives you control. Learn how to budget to make money last until the next payday, as well as how to include regular saving for things such as holidays, treats, savings, and investments.
3 Understand debt and borrowing. There’s good debt and bad debt - and
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SURVIVING THE JUGGLE Whether you’ve just started back at your job again after having a baby, or you’ve been working while juggling motherhood for months already, you likely feel overwhelmed, stressed, guilty, tired, and a variety of other emotions. This is perfectly normal. Remember, it takes a village to raise a child!
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Trying to keep each area of your life balanced and in control is hard at the best of times, but once you add in the pressures of being a mother, this gets even harder. If you’re a woman in a leadership position, you have even more pressure to cope with.
Clarity makes it easier to cope with the difficult times and to assuage some of your “mother guilt” about being apart from your family for numerous hours per week. Put post-it notes up around your house to remind you of why you’re back at work, or create a vision board or any other type of tool that will help you to keep your why front of mind week after week.
The work/motherhood juggle is something millions of mums around the world have to deal with each year, so know that you’re not alone. To make the daily battle a little easier, here are some tips you can follow.
CREATE A VILLAGE
KNOW YOUR WHY
So often in modern life, new parents can find that village to be missing in action. In the village atmosphere of olds, aunties, uncles, grandmas and grandpas and cousins could all contribute their wisdom and assistance. For modern couples, increasingly cut off from that support, the pressure can be intense.
For starters, be clear about why it is you’re working. There are any number of reasons why you might have decided to work as you raise your children. For example, financial requirements, because you love what you do, want a mental challenge, don’t want to go backwards in your career, for the social interactions, or because you run your own business and need to be immersed in it for it to operate successfully.
They must juggle the steep learning curve of parenthood and the pile of tasks that come with it on their own. More subtly, they must manage a fundamental shift in their identity, from the individual to a caregiver. As they take time off work to care, they miss out on the esteem and camaraderie that work can bring - not to mention the opportunity to sit alone on the toilet.
No matter your reason(s), and you probably have a few, be sure about what has led you down this path.
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With the absence of a real village, consider bringing in a ‘team’ of helpers to make the transition easier. Nannies can hold the fort in mornings or afternoons and really take the edge off that stressful race to and fro work. A cleaner is worth their weight in gold. Even just to do the basics each week, you can reclaim some precious hours back with your children outside working hours. Depending on what your budget allows, bringing the village to you can be a complete game changer. It may seem counter productive, but enlisting a team of helpers, means you can get back into your career without burning out and losing important family time. Even hiring a local young person to take care of the yard or some relatives to share some afternoons watching your children can be enough to ease the pressure.
mixture of emotions. Working parents generally have to cope with feeling excited, confused, sad, guilty, happy, etc. all at the same time. It’s perfectly normal to face contradictory emotions, so don’t try to force yourself to be any different. Instead, accept that the juggle of motherhood and work, not to mention being a partner and having other relationships that you’re involved in, is complex. Feel your feelings rather than pushing them down or beating yourself up for having them. It pays to journal, meditate, do deep breathing, and take other steps to notice how you’re feeling and go with this new flow. COMMIT TO LOOKING AFTER YOURSELF
ACCEPT YOUR FEELINGS
Most women find that when they’re running between work and family commitments all day every day, their own health and wellbeing goes out the window. While it’s obviously important for you to take care of your little ones and do your best in your job, commit to looking after yourself, too.
It’s also important to face how you’re feeling and accept whichever emotions come up. Don’t try to put on a brave face and pretend to others and yourself that everything is wonderful and you’re not beset by a 25
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DON’T SAY NO TO SUPPORT Lastly, cultural pressure seems to make many mothers feel these days that they have to be superheroes who can be everything to everyone without breaking a sweat. Now, while the power of women is undeniable, the fact is that you can’t get everything on your long to-do list done without help.
Remember the analogy related to being on a plane – flight attendants instruct passengers to put the oxygen mask on themselves first, in case of an emergency, not their child or other loved one. This is because you simply can’t help others properly if you don’t take care of yourself first.
This doesn’t mean you have to have a live-in nanny or cook, either (although take this if you can get it!). As you transition to spending more time on your career, you’ll likely have people in your life who offer to assist you. Whether it’s a partner, parents, friends, or even your employers providing resources, don’t be too proud to accept the help.
No matter how busy your days are, schedule in time to exercise, eat well, and have some quiet time to yourself. You might find this personal space during your workout, or you might need to have a hot bath, read a book, catch up with friends, or enjoy a hobby once or more per week. Factor in time for these elements so that you don’t forget about them or continually let everything else come first. You will feel better physically, emotionally, and mentally for doing it, and will be able to perform more effectively in every area of your life as a result.
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Take all the support you can get as this will help you to stay sane and to be happier and healthier in general. Remember that it makes other people feel good to be of assistance, too, and you won’t look weak or uncaring for saying yes to some help. 26
KAREN DOFF:
FROM POVERTY TO EMPOWERMENT
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deepened. Over time, Karen and Jenn began asking questions and putting plans into place to help the girls they had grown so fond of.
Karen Doff has a very special role – she is co-parent to 38 girls who are destined to break barriers, forge great paths and lead their communities as strong, empowered women. However what makes their stories so incredible is not their achievements, but where they began.
“For one of our first projects, we raised $2,000 to help them renovate their washrooms. For our next project, we raised another $2,000 to help them move most of the girls from government to private schools,” Karen said.
Let’s backtrack a little. Karen and her colleague Jenn travelled to India in 2002 on a business trip to work with large vendor teams in both Mumbai and Chennai. At the time, they were employed by a Fortune 150 company, charged with the task of setting up outsourcing operations in India. On their first trip, they were offered (by chance) the opportunity to visit the Sharanam Centre for Girls, which had opened its doors just a year earlier.
“And then somehow, in a time before social media, YouTube and Facebook, the word spread. Before we knew it, friends, family and colleagues were asking us questions about the girls and how they could help. We were really encouraged by those around us. Things changed dramatically when our company’s chief legal counsel offered to help us set up our own non-profit. Before we knew it, we had registered the Aasha Foundation, had a bank account, and our US 501(c)(3) charitable status.”
The shelter for girls is home to children and young women who come from families of intractable poverty and sadness. Some are orphans due to illness or abandonment; others have come from families who sought help for them to grow. The home offers these girls shelter, food, love and support so they can blossom into thebest versions of themselves and find opportunities they never thought possible.
With financial support from the Aasha Foundation, Karen, along with the houseparents, supports the girls as any loving parent would. They offer tons of love and stability, guidance throughout the girls’ private schooling and college or university, opportunities to learn accountability and independence, the arrangement of all health care needs, and a supportive ear whenever needed. What Karen quickly realised as she began spending more time with the girls were the gaps in their social experiences – so offering social enrichment became a key focus for the Aasha Foundation’s
Karen and Jenn fell in love with the place. That first chance visit was full of games, laughter, icecream and dancing. They then organised visits whenever they were back in Mumbai for work and their relationship with the Centre, and its dedicated houseparents Sharda and Nirmal, healmmagazine.com
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work. This includes eating out at restaurants, swimming, playing sports, going shopping and taking a vacation. “One of our goals is to ensure that the girls are regularly engaging in the same kinds of experiences as their peers. Normalising middle-class and upper-middle-class experiences helps the girls to fully see and understand the world they might live in as adults. It helps them to visualise that world, and helps them strive for it,” Karen said. “This work on social exposure also helps our girls to be prepared for college life, work life and adult life. Especially coming from a stratified society like India’s, having these experiences helps them feel on par with their classmates, colleagues, and peers. It helps them to know that they belong in this world, that they don’t carry a stigma or mark related to their family background or the fact that they’ve grown up in the care of an NGO,” Karen said.
Nine of their past students have completed university studies in nursing, business, management, IT, communications, banking, insurance and social work, and 14 are working full time across various sectors including graphic design, IT, small business accounting and HR. These young women now live on their own and support themselves. They are inspirational and leading the way for the other girls who never thought they had much to offer the world. The success stories don’t stop there either. One of the girls who started her freshman year in 2018 applied for a paid fellowship with Praja Foundation, an NGO that focuses on issues related to local government accountability. She was selected as one of only 23 out of more than 200 college students, and by far the youngest.
The Sharanam Centre has a diverse line-up of activities scheduled each week, including karate lessons, Indian classical dance and basketball. They also have a regular visit from a therapist and each summer the girls are placed in a professional development program with businesses in Mumbai. Of the 38 girls under the care of the Sharanam Centre, seven are now high school seniors, and three are studying at university, with the number of university-bound students set to triple for 2020-21.
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and she had even been trekking in the Himalayas! The Sharanam Centre girls are quietly emerging, one by one, as empowered, strong, talented and exceptionally driven young women with the skills and passion to transform the lives of others facing hardships they once knew. Thanks to the dedicated work of Karen, Jenn and the Centre team, their girls have bright futures ahead and will continue to inspire many others as their path continues. But, despite the massive difference the Aasha Foundation is making, the girls still sleep on the floor. They still hand wash their own clothes, and there is no airconditioning to keep them cool in the hotter months. Although a far cry from the life they came from, systemic class differentiation lingers. In many ways, they straddle two worlds; that of opportunity, juxtaposed with the reality of poverty.
“It’s an incredible feeling to know that through love, support and social exposure, we are giving her and all the other girls the tools they need to build their own futures and create their own opportunities.” One of the other girls at the Centre recently came to Karen after a day at school and told her that she had finally worked up the courage to tell her friends where she had come from. This incredible young girl, now 17, had been living at the Sharanam Centre since she was nine years old after her blind mother was no longer able to care for her. She had recently moved schools and made new friends, but was worried about how they would react knowing her background. When she did open up, her friends were astounded. Her grades were exceptional, she was well-presented
The Aasha Foundation relies solely on individual donations to grow the women leaders of the future. If you are interested in getting involved, visit aashafoundation.org
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JUST BE
YOURSELF
It can be a challenge today for women today to feel visible – to demonstrate uniqueness. How do you show that you’re a confident woman, who likes to stand out and have her own style? How to show that you are your own person and definitely don’t follow ‘the crowd’? Shona Easton is a designer and business owner whose beautiful handbags and accessories help successful women express their own sense of style.
lifestyle and sustainability in everything she does. Her quality, ethical accessories are made in India by women she works closely with in her workshop. Shona’s commitment to making a difference also shines through in her more recent charity work.
“A graduate of One of many’s leadership program “Lead the Change”, Shona demonstrates beautifully the balance between healmmagazine.com
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“My workshop is in rural India – where the women from the local village are employed to make handbags and leather goods. Before the workshop moved there, there was little prospect of finding jobs locally, especially for women (it’s a rice farming area). Now they have learned many new skills, they work near their homes and see their families every day. And their kids get to go to school,” Shona says. Her company also makes other accessories, like luggage tags, cosmetic bags, purses, wallets and doggy accessories.
members with hidden disabilities (most people do…eg, depression, anxiety, MS, stroke – anything you can’t actually ’see’) and so I really want to help get this cause out in the open and understood,” says Shona. Many women are suffering on a daily basis, not just from hidden disabilities, but from the demands of being a modern working woman. We often feel overwhelmed by what’s on our plate, but Shona has taken ownership of her ‘lot.’ “I do think women’s ‘lot’ is what we make it. For example, I have a ‘traditional’ role at home. I organize the house, cooking, cleaning, etc. – but that really feels like my choice.”
“I love creating accessories that are practical, in gorgeous bright colours, which as well as being useful, people love – and make their friends go ‘wow!’.”
“I juggle the many demands by not trying to fit in too much. One of many has definitely helped with this. I am reminded to have me-time and look after my needs, and I’ve definitely started saying no to things that previously I would have said yes to.”
As well as running her business, Shona is a trustee of a charity she helped to set up, which helps people with a hidden disability. Care & Consideration With A Smile became a part of Shona’s life after she met the incredibly inspiring founder, Julie Luxton, a woman living with a hidden disability.
Shona knows firsthand that success doesn’t come while sitting on a couch. Over the last twenty-five years, as she developed her business, there were lots of ups and downs. But, Shona doesn’t know the meaning of ‘You can’t,’ and is always looking for hope in the world and for the future.
Many people reacted to Julie by assuming she was drunk or stupid, when she was only trying to learn to speak again and walk again after her massive brain injury. So she wanted to form a new charity to raise awareness about people with hidden disabilities. “She inspired me to jump on board and help her get the charity going. I also have other friends and family
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Caption: This is Monica at the cutting station. Pramilla, the workshop manager. Masthanamma is in charge of finances.
countryside or just gazing at water whether it’s a river, sea or a lake.”
“I look to FashionRevolution.org who are leading campaigners to end slave labour, child labour and promote fair wages in the garment and textile industry worldwide. They inspire me to take photos of my workshop ladies with the ‘I made your handbag/Purse/ Wallet’ signs. They want people to ask – Who Made My Clothes? So that fashion businesses NEED to be transparent about what is really going on in their overseas factories,” she says.
So how does Shona cope when times are tough? “Tomorrow is another day! My mantra is just be yourself.”
“For inspiration in business, I get ideas from finding beautiful fabrics and seeing amazing colours when I travel. I also get inspired by being out in nature, looking at the beauty of the
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Discover Your Women’s TM PowerTypes Profile The world is changing fast. The challenges and opportunities we face in our families, communities and organizations are bigger and more complex than ever. To create the future we want to see, we need a new kind of leader. Women who are strong and effective, whilst staying true to the softer aspects of their nature. Leaders with power grounded in collaboration, not competition. Co-operation, not coercion. Replenishment, not depletion. At One of many we seek to avoid the burn out and stress associated with Superwoman mode, and instead harness a new kind of power. To do so we use the 5 Women’s PowerTypes™
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GEETA SIDHU-ROBB:
POWER UP YOUR PLATE
As a busy woman juggling family, work and everything in between, feeling zapped of energy for the majority of the time is almost accepted as part of the deal. Gone are the days when staying at home with the baby, encircled by a supportive tribe, is commonplace – now we are ushered back to work to help meet the demands of our increasingly busy and expensive life.
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Added to that, are ageing parents, solo parenting, numerous extracurricular activities for each child and the ever-increasing push to be the perfectly put together career woman as well. Looking after ourselves falls down the priority list, our nutrition suffers, and we never find the time and energy to exercise.
control his condition, but she was focused and determined to use her passion for nutrition and wellness to help him in a more holistic and safe way.
Geeta Sidhu-Robb knew the overwhelm first-hand. As a single parent working as a corporate lawyer, life was far from serene. As well as managing her career and keeping her household running, Geeta was doing her best to help her son thrive as he experienced severe food allergies, eczema, asthma and anaphylaxis as a baby. “When you live like that all the time, it takes very little to discombobulate you. A seemingly small thing can knock you off course because it’s literally the last straw. Our responsibilities are so many that we struggle to cope and stay balanced. Energetically this is very consuming,” she said. Geeta turned to nutrition and natural remedies to help bring some balance and wellness back to her life. Her mother was a strong influence on her belief in nature’s medicine and she has fond memories of her mother using flowers from the garden or homemade solutions for treating coughs and colds, wounds and skin conditions, for example. However, her driving force retrain was her son. She was told by doctors that only steroids and medication would 37
In 2008, Geeta decided it was time to leave her corporate job and follow her heart into a career in nutrition coaching and set up her own business, Nosh Detox. She trained as a raw chef and functional nutritionist, and has since also qualified as IIN Health Coach, IIN Gut Healing Specialist, IIN Hormone Health Specialist and a Bush Flower Essence therapist. She strongly advocates for a total mind-body approach to wellness, encouraging her clients to complement their nutrition with regular yoga, meditation and exercise, as well as modalities such as homeopathy and acupuncture. “I strongly believe that we can and should be in touch with our wellness at all times, not just when we get sick,” Geeta said. Over the past 10 years, Nosh Detox has helped countless men and women improve their life exponentially, and customers include names such as Gwynneth Paltrow, Georgia May Jagger and Cara Delevingne. NOSH DETOX NUTRITION Geeta’s core nutritional philosophy for optimal health and energy is natural, fresh, unprocessed food 80 per cent of the day. She also recommends clients look at the proportions of fat, fibre and protein they are eating at each meal. healmmagazine.com
“This obsession with protein and low-fat meals has done women an enormous disservice. We need to eat much less protein (unless you happen to be a bodybuilder!) and much, much more fat,” she said. “We use the concept of the Nosh Perfect Plate to teach our clients how to eat well. This means 45 per cent fat, 45 per cent fibre and 10 per cent protein…When you have the right nutritional base, your body is fuelled to meet the demands of your lifestyle and you then feel strong enough to work on your mental health. But without the right foundations it’s impossible to grow and transform.”
3. Drink alcohol only every other day.
Geeta has kindly shared her top five tips for balancing your energy throughout the day using the Nosh Detox philosophies.
meal and ENSURE its at least 45 per cent of the macronutrient breakdown. We do not eat nearly enough good fats and we desperately need them.
Have a day off to let your body rebalance.
4. Check your fat content of every
1. Eat a piece of fruit before every
5. Meditate daily. This is an important
meal. Fruit is a superfood that contains enzymes, fibre, water and is incredibly good for you. Ripe, organic, seasonal produce is preferable.
addition to nutrition because your stress levels impact your hormones as well as your digestion. For more information on Nosh Detox, visit noshdetox.com
2. Eat half a plate of greens with
every meal. healmmagazine.com
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HOW TO MAKE YOUR
TO-DO LIST WORK BETTER FOR YOU
by Editor-In-Chief
JOANNA MARTIN
Ever feel like your to-do list is ruling your life? Whether you’re a tech-loving app devotee, wedded to Basecamp, Trello, or Asana – or a back-of-an envelope scribbler, convinced that the very act of putting pen to paper helps your brain fire better – I want to set you a challenge today to make your to-do list work better for you. You see, since we started helping women to have a bigger impact on the world without burning out, we’ve learned a thing or two about what can hold us back. And strange as it may seem, your to-do list might be one of the biggest blocks you face. healmmagazine.com
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Batch similar tasks, like phone calls or meetings, into one time
What does your list look like? At its most basic level, a to-do list is exactly what it sounds like: a list of actions that need to be completed at any one time. The trouble is, in today’s world the sheer number of tasks can quickly become overwhelming. And many of us play so many different roles – parent, mentor, sister, colleague, leader, friend – that the difference between the jobs on our list can be vast.
Have a place to capture everything that needs doing Do the hardest things on your list first (most famously in the awesome book Eat That Frog) You find yourself ignoring your list altogether. Remember, what you can get done in one hour varies enormously week to week, month to month, and even within the same day. So, the first step is to begin to pay attention to the energy cycles you go through.
Have a quick think now about what your to-do list looks like. Is it in one place, or is it scattered among various locations?
STEP ONE: Track your energy
Do you have a system in place to track what happens with different tasks? It’s really common to find that we have a slightly different approach to tasks in different areas. You might be the queen of getting things done at work, and utterly all over the place at home. Perhaps you’ve got your kids’ schedules totally handled, but your personal to-dos when it comes to life admin leave a lot to be desired. Why most productivity tips fail A quick word on some of the traditional productivity advice you might have tried before. You’re an intelligent woman, after all, and if there’s something that’s a challenge for you I have no doubt you’ll already have tried a few things.
If you’re menstruating, noticing your energy levels throughout your cycle is a great place to start. Everyone experiences these slightly differently so don’t be surprised if your cycle looks very different to someone else’s, or if it’s changed from how it used to be.
Typical tips include things like: 41
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If you’re not menstruating, try simply observe your energy by jotting down a value from 1–10 for how much energy you have at any given moment. You may find that your energy cycles correspond to the moon, or to another rhythm, or that it’s predictable within a 24 hour or 7 day period.
be inspiring and decisive, and if you’re combing through your finances you’ll want to be clear-headed and detail orientated. When you stop seeing your list as actions and start seeing it through the lens of ways of being you’ll find you can begin to associate tasks related not by type, but by energy.
Start to get a picture of how your energy ebbs and flows, and you’ll be one step closer to reaching a place of serenity when it comes to how you work.
STEP THREE: Begin to fit your “to be” list into your energy tracking
STEP TWO: Batch your tasks
If you know that the week before your period you’re often feeling emotionally wobbly, physically tired, and impatient with “keeping the peace”, then it’s probably not the time to schedule that tricky money chat with your other half. Perhaps Monday morning you know you have a burst of energy and a real drive to start the week doing what matters.
What if you started looking at your “to do” list as more of a “to be” list instead? Each of the tasks on your lists requires you to be a certain way. If you’re researching something, you might need to be in a curious, focused mode – and open to spotting intuitive connections among the data. If you’re leading your team, you might need to
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That might be the perfect time to block out email notifications, and make progress on the deep-dive work tasks that need all your concentration – so that you start the week on your best foot forward. 42
Want to find out how to apply this process to your life?
Change is a constant Of course, there’s no way you can reschedule everything in your life to fit in with your energy. Unexpected things crop up, and other people’s priorities can definitely impact your own.
If you’d like some extra support around applying this way of thinking to your to-do list; detailed step-by-step instructions on where to begin and how to put it into practice; plus our guide to the 5 different types of energy that will help you move through every task on your list with ease, our online BeFruitful program could be just what you need.
But by using this approach to managing your tasks, you can begin to give yourself the best possible foundation from which to handle those challenges.
It’s the ultimate step-by-step system to help you take back control of your time and energy, and unlock hours of extra time each week.
Instead of wearing you out or pushing you into overwhelm, your to-do list can become a menu of different energy types from which you can make sure you’re doing what’s best for you at every moment of your day.more about the program
Click here to find out more about the program
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ZANDER GRASHOW:
FEMININITY AND INCLUSIVITY FOR A POSITIVE TOMORROW Zander Grashow is committed to evolving the way we live and work to become a more future-focused, authentic and aligned existence. Through his business, Good Wolf Group, Zander shares his deep commitment to progressive leadership from a truthful, graceful and creative approach. He also values a feminist touch, operating out of a strong sense of humanity and – above all – inclusivity. healmmagazine.com
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“All of us must find our unique voice and fortitude to develop the capacity to bring others along, rather than just preaching about the right thing to do,” he said.
“Like all of us, political and high-profile leaders and organisations are hungry for safe and generative places to understand their present state and curate their next chapter. The ability to move forward ironically requires significant diagnosis of why the current reality exists the way it does. If we can really recognize today’s context and challenges, we can more easily tap into future possibilities and create consequential results in the process.”
“To do more for what we care about most, we have to grow out of the fragmented version of ourselves and grow into new integrative skills and practices.” As a strategic advisor, facilitator and renowned speaker, Zander’s methodology is based on the practice of adaptation and evolution. He teaches leadership at all levels “beyond some inspirational Instagram post” and instead helps people grow into what is being called forth in them.
Zander’s leadership philosophy is based on two key acts; awareness and adjustment. “Awareness is a disciplined practice of actively seeking the information and ideas that disrupt an antiquated narrative, identity or understanding of how the world works,” he explained.
As a child, Zander was curious about what was possible in the world around him. He felt a strong pull to help others and answer the question on everybody’s mind at some stage in their lives; “Can’t it be better than this?”
“Adjustment is not just knowing something you have to change, but actually living and operating differently as a result of the insight.”
“My passion comes from helping people find pragmatic, positive responses to this question and discovering their own voice and conviction in the process,” he said.
From a place of deep awareness and a willingness to adjust accordingly, real change can occur. This goes for everything in our lives – as individuals looking for a brighter future, to organisations powering ahead for greater impact, or community leaders striving to create a positive, cohesive space in which members can grow.
Through Good Wolf Group, Zander has worked with political and other high-profile leaders to understand their limiting belief systems and determine where change is possible. What he has found through his experience is that no matter the level of leadership, forward momentum comes from the same starting point.
Solidarity also plays an important role in Zander’s teachings, along with a humanist approach to finding solutions to the broken systems around us. He believes that as a collective, women 45
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As a collective, women are vital, not only to our communities surviving, but thriving.
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influence to specific parts of society, they seem to be working quite well,” he said of our largely male-dominated leadership scene. “It is hard to trust those who have built the current system and crises to take them down. It seems unfair to ask those who have borne the burden of the dysfunction of our system to lead us to a new utopia, but evidence of their fortitude, skill and ability to bring everyone up with them is undeniable.” With clarity through awareness and future-focused approaches through adjustment, leaders at all levels will not only be able to resolve past conflicts, but redesign what lies ahead. Gone are the days of strength, muscle and might – tomorrow calls for a humanist, feminist and inclusive approach. “When we don’t have a future we see ourselves in, we make questionable choices,” Zander said. “[But] when we gain the perspective of ‘getting on the balcony’ and seeing ourselves and the systems we live in, or perhaps are complicit in, we see where change is possible and necessary. We also can hear the call to action for our leadership and our impact.”
are vital not only to our communities surviving, but thriving. He advocates for a holistic, creative and justice-seeking approach to society’s problems, taken from an honest assessment of the current limitations and a willingness to challenge the status quo.
To receive information, tools, and workshops from Zander and Good Wolf Group – email info@goodwolfgroup.com and follow on LinkedIn, Spotify and Instagram.
“We can describe many of our systems as broken but that depends on what they are designed to do. If the system is designed to create a society where everyone flourishes, they are indeed broken. If the system is designed to consolidate power and
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