Reality Magazine November 2021

SPECIAL ISSUE ON DEATH NOVEMBERREMEMBER

Reality NOVEMBER 2021

Informing, Inspiring, Challenging Today’s Catholic

LIFE AFTER LIFE

GRIEF, LOSS AND REMEMBERING OUR BELOVED DEAD

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Christmas Gift Ideas from Redemptorist Stuck for ideas this Christmas?

Communications Why not consider a gift with meaning?

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Diary 2022 Through the year with The Saints Fr Denis McBride CSsR This stunning hardback diary features a beautiful painting each month and a thought-provoking reflection by Fr Denis McBride that accompanies the saints throughout the year. This diary celebrates a few of the great known saints and the ones few have heard of: we salute them all through the year.

Our 2022 diary is A5 in size and has a practical full week to view across a double page spread; each week includes either a prayer, quotation, insight into the artwork for the month or a detail of the beautiful image that will help you to see it in a different way.

Included in the diary is an introduction from Fr Denis, year planners for both 2022 and 2023, key dates and feast days, notes pages, and a ribbon page marker. All of these features make it the ideal faith companion, appointment organiser and thoughtful gift.

One Man, One God The Peace Ministry of Fr Alec Reid CSsR Fr Martin McKeever CSsR An exploration of Fr Alec Reid’s extraordinary ministry and commitment to establishing peace. Find out more about the man, the Christian, the priest.

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A Dose of Reality A collection of writings by Fr Peter McVerry SJ which challenges us to examine our attitudes, and attack the causes of inequality.

Proceeds in Aid of The Peter McVerry Trust

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Unity Pilgrim The Life of Fr Gerry Reynolds CSsR Gladys Ganiel An illuminating record of the pioneering ministry of Fr Gerry Reynolds CSsR, which explores his commitment to peace and ecumenism.

A Look of Love In A Look of Love – Witnesses to Jesus, Jim Deeds brings the stories of Jesus and his early followers to life. Jim’s love of the Gospels shines through, while his gift for storytelling imbues each of these unique stories with emotion and gentle humour.

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IN THIS SPECIAL ISSUE FEATURES �� DEATH – A CELEBRATION OF LIFE The rituals surrounding death in Ireland are traditions worth treasuring

By Tríona Doherty

�� CELEBRATING FUNERALS THE IRISH WAY A profound respect for the dead is in our Celtic DNA

By Fr John J. O Ríordáin CSsR

�� REMEMBER ME The memorial card in Irish culture

By Salvador Ryan

�� THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE MONTH OF THE DEAD

By John Scally

�� WALKING THE JOURNEY OF GRIEF AND LOSS

By Margaret Naughton

�� MOURNING MY BELOVED MAM

By Tommy Morris

�� ONLY A BRUSH OF YOUR CHEEK AWAY

By Bernadette Sweetman

�� HONOURING THE DEAD

By Fr Colm Meaney CSsR

�� LIVING WITH YOU, WITHOUT YOU

by Carmel Wynne

�� MY JOURNEY THROUGH GRIEF

By Dee Neeson

�� RELIGIONS AS AGENTS OF FRATERNITY The final chapter of Fratelli Tutti

By Michael Daley

OPINION

REGULARS

�� THE POWER OF SILENCE

�� EDITORIAL

Through silence, we hear the 'still small voice' of God

By Maria Hall

�� JIM DEEDS

�� PLUMBING THE DEPTHS OF DESPAIR CATHOLICISM IN THE WRITINGS OF LIAM O'FLAHERTY

�� PETER McVERRY SJ

�� REALITY BITES �� POPE MONITOR �� FOREVER YOUNG �� REFLECTIONS �� TRÓCAIRE �� UNDER THE MICROSCOPE �� GOD’S WORD

O'Flaherty's fiction reveals a deep yearning for a faith that might bring solace

By Eamon Maher

REALITY BITES VATICAN CITY

POPE FRANCIS LAUNCHES SYNODAL PROCESS ON CHURCH REFORM

Pope Francis has launched what some describe as the most ambitious attempt at Catholic reform for 60 years. A two-year process to consult every Catholic parish around the world

4

REALITY NOVEMBER ����

on the future direction of the church began at the Vatican this weekend.

Pope Francis urged Catholics not to "remain barricaded in our certainties" but to "listen to one another" as he launched the process at Mass in St Peter's Basilica.

"Are we prepared for the adventure of this journey? Or are we fearful of the unknown, preferring to take refuge in the usual excuses: 'It's useless' or 'We've always done it this way'?" he asked.

The consultation process, called 'For a Synodal Church: Communion, Participation and Mission,' will work in three stages: In the 'listening phase,' people in parishes and dioceses will be able to discuss a wide range of issues. Pope Francis said it was important to

hear from those who were often on the fringes of local church life such as women, pastoral workers and members of consultative bodies.

The 'continental phase' will see bishops gather to discuss and formalise their findings.

The 'universal phase' will see a month-long gathering of the bishops at the Vatican in October 2023.

The pope is expected then to write an apostolic exhortation, giving his views and decisions on the issues discussed.

Discussing his hopes for the Synod, Pope Francis warned against the process becoming an intellectual exercise that failed to address the real-world issues faced by Catholics and the "temptation to complacency" when it comes to considering change.

N E WS

VATICAN CITY

POPES URGE NATIONS AT CLIMATE SUMMIT TO CARE FOR CREATION High-level representatives of the world’s religions came together with Pope Francis at the Vatican to show their joint commitment to caring for the earth and to appeal to world leaders to deepen their commitments to mitigating climate change.

To the strains of Antonio Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons and surrounded by potted greenery and the colourful frescoes of the Hall of Benedictions, nearly 40 faith leaders signed a joint appeal that Pope Francis then blessed and gave to Alok Sharma, presidentdesignate of COP26, and to Luigi Di Maio, Italy’s foreign affairs minister.

“Future generations will never forgive us if we miss the opportunity to protect our common home. We have inherited a garden: we must not leave a desert to our children,” said the written appeal, signed on October 4, the feast of St Francis of Assisi, patron saint of ecology.

The appeal urged world leaders, who will meet at the 26th UN Climate Change Conference of Parties — COP26 — in Glasgow from November 1-12, “to take speedy, responsible and shared action to safeguard, restore and heal our wounded

Alok Sharma, president-designate of COP26

humanity and the home entrusted to our stewardship.”

Participants included top scientists and major religious leaders including:

Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew of Constantinople; Anglican Archbishop Justin Welby of Canterbury, England; Russian Orthodox Metropolitan Hilarion of Volokolamsk, representing Patriarch Kirill of Moscow; Sheikh Ahmad el-Tayeb, grand imam of Al-Azhar; Rabbi Noam Marans of the International Jewish Committee for Interreligious Consultations; and top representatives of other Christian denominations, Sunni and Shi’a Muslim communities, Judaism, Hinduism, Sikhism, Buddhism, Confucianism, Taoism, Zoroastrianism and Jainism.

The appeal called on nations to: increase their levels of commitment and international cooperation; meet net-zero carbon emissions as soon as possible as part of efforts to mitigate rising global average temperatures; step up climate action at home and financially assist more vulnerable countries in adapting to and addressing climate change; increase their transition to cleaner energy and sustainable land use practices; and promote environmentally friendly food systems and the rights of indigenous peoples and local communities.

PARIS

REPORT ON ABUSE IN FRENCH CHURCH IS "MOMENT OF SHAME," POPE SAYS The Catholic Church’s inability to make victims of abuse their top concern is a cause for intense shame, Pope Francis has said.

In the wake of a major report investigating the extent of sexual aggression and abuse against minors in the church in France, the pope said, “I wish to express to the victims my sadness, my grief, for the traumas they have endured, and also my shame.”

This deep sense of shame, “our shame, my shame,” he said, was for “the too lengthy

inability of the church to put (victims) at the centre of its concerns.”

The pope made his remarks at his general audience in the Vatican’s Paul VI Hall, in the presence of a group of bishops and a cardinal from France who had been in Rome for their ad limina visit. According to the four-year investigation, an estimated 216,000 children were abused by priests since 1950, and more than 100,000 others were abused by lay employees of church institutions.

The pope commented on the “considerable number” of known victims revealed in the report.

Assuring victims of his prayers, the pope asked everyone to pray with him: “To you, Lord, the glory; to us, the shame. This is the moment of shame.”

He encouraged the country’s bishops and superiors general of religious orders “to continue to do their utmost so that similar tragedies are not repeated.”

5

REALITY BITES COLOGNE

GERMAN CARDINAL TO TAKE SIX-MONTH SABBATICAL

6

Cardinal Rainer Maria Woelki of Cologne will take a “spiritual sabbatical” after a Vatican investigation found he did nothing illegal in his handling of clerical sex abuse allegations, but he did contribute to a “crisis of trust” in his archdiocese.

The German bishops’ conference announced on September 24 that Pope Francis had “a long conversation” with Cardinal Woelki earlier in September and agreed with the cardinal’s request to take a break from mid-October until March 1 because it was “obvious that the cardinal and the archdiocese need a time of pause, renewal and reconciliation.”

Cologne Auxiliary Bishop Rolf Steinhäuser will serve as apostolic administrator of the archdiocese and will lead “a spiritual process of reconciliation and renewal,” the statement said.

In May, Pope Francis ordered an apostolic visitation of the Cologne archdiocese “to obtain a comprehensive picture of the complex pastoral situation” there and to investigate how accusations of clerical sexual abuse were handled by the cardinal and by Auxiliary Bishops Dominik Schwaderlapp and Ansgar Puff, both of whom had offered to resign.

Allegations that the cardinal wanted to cover up cases or the extent of the problem “are refuted by the facts that have since been published and the documents reviewed by the Holy See. The archbishop’s determination to come to terms with the crimes of abuse in the church, to reach out to those affected and to promote prevention is evident not least in his implementation of the recommendations of the second study, which he has already begun.”

Cardinal Rainer Maria Woelki of Cologn

BERLIN

SYNODAL ASSEMBLY VOTES SHOW CATHOLICS SUPPORT REFORMS IN GERMAN CHURCH The second Synodal Assembly of German Catholics ended on October 2 with overwhelming support for a range of proposals that, if adopted, would bring widespread reform to the church.

The assembly — 230 members including laity, academics, clergy and bishops — wrestled for three days in Frankfurt with decisions on which direction the church should take in future. The German Catholic Church has been struggling to regain its credibility and trust after a decade in which it was rocked by sexual abuse scandals and saw Catholics in large numbers turn their backs on the church.

Bishop Georg Bätzing, president of the German bishops’ conference and copresident of the Synodal Path project, said

REALITY NOVEMBER ����

afterward: “Texts have been debated that are not just texts, but dreams put into words of how we want to change the church in Germany: a church that is participatory, gender-just and going on this path with the people.”

This was the second Synodal Assembly, the main body of the Synodal Path, the schedule of which has been delayed by the COVID-19 pandemic. Four topics are being discussed: the position of women in the church, future management and division of power, Catholic sexual morality and priestly celibacy. Because of the workload and the time-consuming discussions and voting, the executive committee has decided to extend the Synodal Path and to add a fifth assembly,

scheduled for early 2023.

The assembly considered 13 of 16 texts discussed earlier in synodal forums, and 12 were adopted on first reading. The texts put to the vote received an approval rating of between 76 per cent and 92 per cent, suggesting that three-quarters of those present were in favour of reforms. However, the decisions of the Synodal Path have no binding legal force in the church.

One text discussed dealt with a new division of power, with more participation of laity and with bishops expected to relinquish some power. There were specific proposals that laity and congregations have a say in the appointment of bishops and that women be admitted to ordained offices.

N E WS

POPE MONITOR KEEPING UP WITH POPE FRANCIS POPE BLESSES NUN HELD HOSTAGE NEARLY FIVE YEARS The day after authorities announced her release from kidnappers in Mali, Colombian Sister Gloria Cecilia Narváez Argoti was at the Vatican for a Mass in St Peter’s Basilica and was greeted by Pope Francis.

The pope greeted Sr Narváez before and blessed her after the Mass on October 10, which formally opened the process leading up to the assembly of the Synod of Bishops in 2023.

Sr Narváez, a member of the Franciscan Sisters of Mary Immaculate, had been taken by a group of armed men who broke into the parish in Karangasso village near the Burkina Faso border in February 2017.

She had been working as a missionary for six years in the parish with three other nuns. According to Sr Carmen Isabel Valencia, Sr Narváez offered herself in place of two younger nuns the kidnappers were preparing to take.

Multiple governments and intelligence services had spent the past four years and eight months working to ensure her safety and secure her release.

The official Twitter account of the presidency of Mali announced her liberation on October 9 and praised her “courage and bravery.”

Sr Gloria Cecilia being blessed by the pope at St Peter’s Basilica

POPE WARNS THAT SYNOD COULD BE ‘ELITIST’ EXERCISE UNLESS ALL HAVE A VOICE While a Synod of Bishops is not a parliament and its preparatory process is not “an opinion poll,” Pope Francis has insisted that involving as many people as possible in the process and prayerfully listening to all of them is the only way to recognise the call of the Holy Spirit.

“I underline this because sometimes there is an elitism” among priests and bishops “that causes them to separate themselves from the laity,” the pope said on October 9 as he opened a day of reflection at the Vatican as part of the official launch of the process that will lead up to the assembly of the Synod of Bishops in 2023.

Widespread involvement “is not a matter of form, but of faith.

Participation is a requirement of the faith received in baptism,” Pope Francis insisted during his talk to cardinals, bishops, priests, religious and laypeople meeting in the Vatican Synod Hall.

“Without real participation by the people of God, talk about communion risks remaining a devout wish,” he said. “In this regard, we have taken some steps forward, but a certain difficulty remains, and we must acknowledge the frustration and impatience felt by many pastoral workers, members of diocesan and parish consultative bodies and women, who frequently remain on the fringes.”

The attempt to create a new synod process, one that involves everyone and attempts to give the entire church a “synodal” character of widespread consultation and group discernment, he said, carries “certain risks.”

The first, the pope said, is that of making the whole process a show that is only apparently one of all participants praying and listening for the Holy Spirit’s message by listening to each other.

Without attention to the Holy Spirit, he said, the process is simply a formality; it “would be like admiring the magnificent facade of a church without ever actually stepping inside.”

Other risks, he said, include turning the synod into an intellectual exercise where no one listens and everyone sticks to their opinions, “ending up along familiar and unfruitful ideological and partisan divides” that do not respond to the Holy Spirit and people’s needs and concerns and “paralysis, the attitude that says: ‘We have always done it this way’ — this is poison in the life of the church.”

If done prayerfully, openly and with widespread involvement, Pope Francis said, the process could help build “a synodal church, an open square where all can feel at home and participate,” a church that listens to the Holy Spirit and one another.

7

FOREVER YOUNG SAINTS WHO DIED YOUNG

8

ST JOSÉ SÁNCHEZ DEL RIO 1913-1928

Reality

José Sánchez del Rio was born in 1913, the youngest of four sons. When he was four years of age, a new constitution was introduced in Mexico, severely limiting the power and influence of the church. It was imposed even more rigorously under President Calles in 1926. Now, church property was seized, foreign missioners were expelled, and monasteries, convents, religious schools and hospitals were closed. Priests were placed under strict state control: they were fined for wearing habits or clerical dress in public and threatened with imprisonment for speaking against the government.

Graham Greene, the novelist, captures something of the situation in his novel The Power and the Glory.

While most Catholics, encouraged by their bishops, favoured passive resistance, some

Volume 86. No. � November ���� A Redemptorist Publication ISSN 0034-0960

formed a guerrilla force known as the Cristeros to fight the government. José's three brothers joined the Cristeros. He also wanted to fight for the church, but his parents refused as he was only 13. Eventually, a group of Cristeros took him on, on condition that he would only do manual work like fetching water, serving meals and washing up. José worked with a passion but with still greater passion, joined the men in their daily Mass and Rosary.

During one ambush, the commander's horse was shot beneath him. José insisted that he should take his horse as the commander was more important for the men. Reluctantly, he did so while José stayed until the group eventually ran out of ammunition. Along with another young companion, he was arrested. Fearing his days were numbered, he managed to write to his mother: "I was made a prisoner in battle today. I think I will die soon, but I do not care, mother. Resign yourself to the will of God. I will die happy because I die on the side of our God. Do not worry about my death, which would mortify me. Tell my brothers to follow the example that their youngest brother leaves them and do the will of God. Have courage and send me your blessing along with my father's."

José was detained in the church where he had been baptised. It had now been seized by the government and was used as a dump. José's godfather visited him. He was on the government side and tried to persuade the boy to come over to them. José refused, and a few days later, his godfather made up his mind to execute the boy. Just before the execution, his aunt brought him his final meal. She had asked a priest to hide the Blessed Sacrament in the food package, so José secretly received Holy Communion for the last time.

The boy was beaten before his execution, but he continued to shout in defiance: "Viva Cristo Rey!" – Long live Christ the King. He was marched to the cemetery, where he was again assaulted before being shot and dumped into a grave. The local undertaker was a good Christian. When the soldiers left, he took José from the grave and called the local priest to give him a Catholic burial. He was just two weeks short of his 15th birthday.

José was beatified on June 22, 2004, in Mexico city by a cardinal acting in the name of Pope Benedict XVI. Pope Francis canonised him on October 16, 2016. His memorial day is February 10, the anniversary of his death.

Brendan McConvery CSsR REALITY NOVEMBER ����

Published by The Irish Redemptorists, St Joseph's Monastery, St Alphonsus Road, Dundalk County Louth A91 F3FC Tel: 00353 (0)1 4922488 Web: www.redcoms.org Email: sales@redcoms.org (With permission of C.Ss.R.)

Acting-Editor Gerard Moloney CSsR editor@redcoms.org Design & Layout David Mc Namara CSsR Sales & Marketing Claire Carmichael ccarmichael@redcoms.org Accounts Dearbhla Cooney accounts@redcoms.org Printed by W&G Baird Printers, Belfast Photo Credits Shutterstock, Catholic News Agency, Trócaire REALITY SUBSCRIPTIONS Through a promoter (Ireland only) €20 or £18 Annual Subscription by post: Ireland €25 or £20 UK £30 Europe €40 Rest of the world €50 Please send all payments to: Redemptorist Communications, St Joseph's Monastery, St Alphonsus Road, Dundalk County Louth A91 F3FC

ADVERTISING Whilst we take every care to ensure the accuracy and validity of adverts placed in Reality, the information contained in adverts does not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of Redemptorist Communications. You are therefore advised to verify the accuracy and validity of any information contained in adverts before entering into any commitment based upon them.

When you have finished with this magazine, please pass it on or recycle it. Thank you.

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Promoters: We keep all of our promoters in our prayers and thank them for their loyal service in selling Reality.

We remember in our prayers sick and deceased promoters and their families.

REFLECTIONS The experience of being disastrously wrong is salutary. No economist should be denied it – and not many are.

A happy marriage is a long conversation that seems all too short.

JOHN GALBRAITH

A good book does not tell you what to do, still less what to think. It forces you to think again.

Only a mediocre person is always at his best.

ANDRE MAURIOS

RUDI WEISWEILER

W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM

History repeats itself, and that’s one of the things that’s wrong with history.

Never, ‘for the sake of peace and quiet,’ deny your own experience or convictions.

DAG HAMMARSKJOLD

CLARENCE DARROW

It is true that going out on to the street implies the risk of accidents happening, as they would to any ordinary man or woman. But if the church stays wrapped up in itself, it will age. And if I had to choose between a wounded church that goes out on to the streets and a sick, withdrawn church, I would definitely choose the first one.

To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am.

CALVIN COOLIDGE

It is time for parents to teach young people early on that in diversity there is beauty and there is strength.

MAYA ANGELOU

To change people you must love them. Your influence reaches only as far as your love.

PESTALOZZI

What is the use in praying if at every moment of prayer we have so little confidence in God that we are planning our own kind of answer to our prayer?

THOMAS MERTON

An example I often use to illustrate the reality of vanity, is this: look at the peacock; it's beautiful if you look at it from the front. But if you look at it from behind, you discover the truth... Whoever gives in to such selfabsorbed vanity has huge misery hiding inside them.

POPE FRANCIS

It’s hard to feel as fit as a fiddle when you’re shaped like a cello.

ANONYMOUS

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.

ROBIN WILLIAMS

POPE FRANCIS

To toast the integrity of the human condition in a time of hatred is an act of faith.

HARVEY COX

The best theology would need no advocates: it would prove itself.

KARL BARTH

Prayer is holding people in your thoughts.

GERALD PRIESTLAND

Never try to make anyone like yourself.

You know, and God knows, that one of you is enough.

R. W. EMERSON

Memories of our lives, of our works and our deeds will continue in others.

ROSA PARKS

God sleeps in the minerals, awakens in plants, walks in animals, and thinks in man.

ARTHUR YOUNG

9

Advent Resources

from Redemptorist Communications

A helping hand in this time of expectant waiting

Diary 2021 Through the year with The Saints Fr Denis McBride CSsR This stunning hardback diary features a beautiful painting each month and a thought-provoking reflection that accompanies the saints throughout the year.

Our 2022 diary is A5 in size and has a practical full week to view across a double page spread; each week includes either a prayer, quotation, insight into the artwork for the month or a detail of the beautiful image that will help you to see it in a different way.

Included in the diary is an introduction from Fr Denis, year planners for both 2022 and 2023, key dates and feast days, notes pages, and a ribbon page marker. All of these features make it the ideal faith companion, €8.95 appointment organiser and thoughtful gift. plus P+P

Advent Extra Your journey to Christmas We’ve all known dark and light moments during 2021. We’ve longed for an end to face masks, social distancing and Covid tests. We’ve loved sunshine, meeting friends and family, freedom after lockdown…

Advent Extra, with its theme “From darkness to light”, celebrates the Light of the World, who transforms even the darkest moments. Through articles and daily reflections, a famous painting reveals the birth of that light; birds and the world’s biggest choir sing through Covid. London’s rough sleepers find hope.

A retired Royal Navy Commander watches for dawn whilst at sea.

A Jesuit astronomer stargazes and finds God. Katie Piper €3.00 supports others through presenting Songs of Praise… plus P+P Advent Extra celebrates unquenchable light!

Celebrate: Advent Follow the Star to Christmas A magazine for Catholic kids full of cool activities and fun quizzes. Perfect for 7-12 year olds it will encourage them to think about and grow in their faith while they have loads of fun! Twenty-two pages jam-packed with puzzles and facts – adults might learn something too! Celebrate: Advent comes with our bestselling Advent calendar and activity sheet for even more things to do. This year there’s an easy way to refocus on the real meaning of Christmas as we Celebrate: Advent.

Christmas Day Message Christmas Day Message is a full colour A3 sheet containing the Mass text for Midnight Mass, Dawn Mass and Mass during the day. An original exposition of the Gospel is provided, along with a short reflection encouraging the reader to relate it to their life; learning points, €7.60 suggestions for action and original per100sheets prayer material are also included. plus P+P

Advent calendar

€2.50

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Christmas Card Pack A pack of twelve cards and envelopes, six designs produced and printed in Ireland.

Journeying towards Jesus in Advent Fr Denis McBride CSsR In this insightful and inspiring book, Fr Denis McBride guides us through the Advent season towards the celebration of the birth of Christ. Suitable for private reading or for use in groups, this book invites us to journey together towards a deeper appreciation of the true €12.95 meaning of Christmas. plus P+P

To order any of the above products, do one of the following:

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Call: +353-1-4922488 Post: Redemptorists Communications, St Joseph’s Monastery. Dundalk, Co Louth A91 F3FC Web shop: www.redcoms.org

EDI TO R I A L UP FRONT GERARD MOLONEY CSsR

LOST FOR WORDS

What

is evident at First Communions and Confirmations, and at weddings and funerals too, is that few people know the responses to the prayers. There is a barely audible murmur when there should be full-throated participation. The priest can feel as if he's talking to himself.

And this is the case not only at occasional liturgical events but also at regular Sunday Masses with regular congregations.

Responses to the prayers are muted; many say nothing or speak hesitantly. Without a printed leaflet or missal to guide them, they are unsure what to say.

Only among the tiny band of daily Massgoers is there an easy familiarity with the words of the 'new' translation of the liturgy introduced ten years ago this month. Only from this group of the super committed can the priest expect to hear anything more than an embarrassed mumble in response to the invitation to prayer.

Ten years after its introduction, it is clear that the new English translation of the liturgy is not achieving whatever it was supposed to achieve.

If it was intended to give people a new appreciation of the beauty of the liturgy, it has failed spectacularly. If it was supposed to provide the liturgy with a more elevated and prayerful tone, it has succeeded only in making it a more awkward and less prayerful experience for priests and people alike. If it was meant to put a stop to experimentation in the liturgy, preventing priests from adlibbing or substituting their own words for those prescribed in the text, it has led only to more experimentation, with priests feeling the need to edit or truncate the more unintelligible and unwieldy prayers to make them more comprehensible. If it was supposed to draw people closer to God, it has managed only to reduce them to baffled

silence. Rather than draw people back to church, it has only encouraged them to stay away.

The attitude of priests is much the same. Of course, there are the few who have embraced it with enthusiasm. Those who like high liturgy and a more pre-Vatican II model of church are delighted with it and make determined efforts to bring their people along with them.

Others have accepted it with quiet resignation. If this is the translation that has been approved by those higher up the hierarchical ladder, then they will follow it word for word, whatever their personal opinion of it may be.

Some do their own 'editing' as they go along, changing words or syntax to simplify the text. Still others have gone back to using the old translation.

Whatever their approach, most priests are unhappy with this translation and have failed to warm to it over the past decade of use.

Given a choice, they would dump it in an instant.

The new translation got off to a bad start right from the beginning. One reason was how it was imposed. Priests were simply told it would be introduced formally on the First Sunday of Advent 2011; expensive new missals were printed, some briefing material distributed by way of preparation, and Mass sheets prepared for the people in the pews.

All at considerable expense to hard-pressed parishes. But no convincing rationale was offered to justify its introduction, or why it was necessary to do so at a time when the church faced many far more pressing challenges.

While most Catholics may have considered the wording of the old translation to be rather bland and uninspiring, they didn't see any reason to ditch it in favour of an alternative so exalted as to be almost

incomprehensible. They needed to be persuaded that a literal translation from the original Latin was justified. Parents struggling to get their children to go to Mass needed to be convinced that a new translation would attract and engage their children, not baffle and confuse them. If younger people already found the language of the church distant and remote, the 2011 translation created an even greater chasm.

And for what?

What is clear is that this translation has little to do with faithful adherence to some ideal form of words and everything to do with an ideology and ecclesiology that seek to create a bigger distance between priest and people and between church and the world. Such a stance is not in keeping with the vision Pope Francis has outlined for the church. Hopefully, one of the outcomes of the synodal process currently underway in the universal church will be a decision to replace this unfortunate English translation with one better suited to the needs of God's people.

Gerard Molonry CSsR Acting Editor

11

THE DEATH ISSUE

DEATH A Celebration of Life

12

REALITY NOVEMBER ����

THE RITUALS SURROUNDING DEATH IN IRELAND ARE PROFOUNDLY IMPORTANT TO BOTH FAMILIES AND COMMUNITIES. DURING THE PAST YEAR AND A HALF, THESE KINDS OF CELEBRATIONS HAVE NOT BEEN POSSIBLE. NOW THAT LIFE IS BEGINNING TO RETURN TO NORMAL, WE ARE LEFT WONDERING IF THEY WILL RETURN.

BY TRÍONA DOHERTY

At

any mention of Irish funerals or wakes, my mind immediately goes to my grandfather's funeral in rural north Donegal. It was my first close experience of death, and the atmosphere of the wake lives on vividly in my memory all these years later: family and neighbours sitting by the coffin in the sitting room, tea and sandwiches on the go as women bustled in and out of the kitchen. The stuffy heat of the packed hallway and porch as uncles and neighbours chatted in muted tones. The murmur of the Rosary, and the stories and laughter late into the night. Aged 11, it was all new to me, but what struck me most was the down-to-earth efficiency of it all. Death was a natural part of life, and everyone knew their role and got on with it in a good-natured yet dignified manner.

By the time my father died a few years ago, I'd had a lot more experience of death and country funerals. But I was still blown away by the crowds that called to our home and how the community mobilised around our family. Stacks of chairs and a tea urn arrived from the local GAA club; a pot of curry and endless trays of sandwiches and baked goods appeared. We discovered afterwards that

several people had been directing traffic on the road outside. A group of neighbours dug Dad's grave, and a guard of honour was waiting outside the church as we arrived for the funeral Mass. At such an overwhelming time for our family, we were carried along by this wave of activity that seemed to develop organically. Such is the wonder of the traditional Irish funeral and wake – a time, as author Kevin Toolis suggests, when "the dying, the living, the bereaved and the dead still openly share the world."

During the past year and a half, these kinds of celebrations have not been possible, and they've been missed. With restrictions on gatherings, the traditional wake had to be abandoned, and only a small family group could attend a funeral. New customs and practices began to emerge, with socially distanced crowds lining streets to greet funeral corteges and online condolences taking on a new importance.

Webcams and live streams allowed those who couldn't attend in person to be present for the funeral of a loved one. And yet, we

were left wondering when we would be able to return to ‘proper’ funerals with all the attendant large gatherings, community involvement, and in-person sympathies, hugs and handshakes.

A COMMUNAL CELEBRATION The rituals surrounding death in Ireland are profoundly important to both families and communities. The physical gathering of neighbours around a bereaved family, and the coming together of the community to celebrate the funeral liturgy, are a communal way of celebrating the life of the deceased.

As Salvador Ryan remarks in Death and the Irish: A Miscellany: "Because of the close-knit nature of many Irish communities, and their vigorously enduring traditions surrounding

The Irish treat death and dying with dignity and reverence and find comfort in the particular rituals of the Catholic funeral death, which seem to persist even as other traditions fade, the Irish have gained a reputation for exhibiting a certain easiness

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THE DEATH ISSUE

around death or, indeed, for 'doing death well'."

The push to find new ways of 'doing death well' during the pandemic has led many to reflect on what is so special about the traditional Irish funeral. Catholic funerals and the rituals surrounding them, particularly the wake, are hugely important in our society.

Rather than shying away from the reality of death, the Irish treat death and dying with dignity and reverence and find comfort in the particular rituals of the Catholic funeral.

The Order of Christian Funerals states that "when a member of Christ's body

expressed through practical tasks – such as those mentioned above – that look after the immediate needs of the family and all who join in their grief. So while funerals take place at a time when human emotions are at their most raw, in the ensuing days and weeks, we often find ourselves recalling the experience as uplifting and comforting.

As a Christian community, we are also called to support the grieving family through our prayer. At the funeral Mass, we gather as a community to thank God for the gift of the life of our loved one, to entrust them to God, and to proclaim our belief and hope in the

culturally. "We do funerals well. We have a healthy attitude in the sense that listening and talking and reminiscing are part and parcel of the funeral process. Being in the house with a family at a wake, you can be crying one minute and laughing the next – and neither is inappropriate. The whole process allows time for people to reflect and to reminisce."

Mary Cunniffe, manager of Massey Bros. funeral director in Templeogue, Dublin, says the tradition of the wake is still going strong. "We find that many families request to bring their loved one home rather than have them repose in the funeral home, and I always encourage families to do this if possible. During COVID when there was no congregating allowed, families were very happy to bring their loved ones home to repose because there were only small gatherings, and family only allowed. This gave families the opportunity to have their own special time with their loved ones in the comfort of their own homes in a safe environment."

Some families opt for a 'hybrid' arrangement, whereby people pay their respects in the funeral home between certain hours. Then the remains are brought home for the night and leave from the family residence for the church the next day. "Particularly when there's an older spouse or partner, it's nice to have their loved one at home overnight and to spend time with them," says Mary.

dies, the faithful are called to a ministry of consolation of those who have suffered the loss of one whom they love." This "ministry of consolation" takes a very personal form

resurrection of the dead. There is a dignity and grace to the funeral rite, which can be a prayerful and reassuring experience for the bereaved. This prayerful support continues as the community gathers again with the family at the month's mind, at anniversaries, or at cemetery gatherings.

URBAN V RURAL However, there is general agreement that the rural wake differs somewhat from the arrangements in urban areas. "The rural wake is a social gathering and is very much part of the fabric of society in rural areas," says Mary. "People were cautious during COVID, but the wake is still very traditional and it always will be."

Colm Kieran of Kieran Bros. Funeral Care in Kingscourt, County Cavan, says this is due to the different types of community in urban and rural areas. "There is a community connectedness in rural areas that is less common in a city or suburb where you might

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We have a healthy attitude in the sense that listening and talking and reminiscing are part and parcel of the funeral process in the typical Irish funeral as family, friends, neighbours, clergy, and parish community come together. This support is often REALITY NOVEMBER ����

THE IRISH WAKE Fr Padraig Walsh, parish priest of Our Lady and St Brendan's Parish, Tralee, believes that death is very well celebrated in Ireland, both religiously and

not even know your neighbours. So in rural areas, a funeral is a community event. Before COVID, wake houses with large gatherings were certainly the norm, and as we emerge from COVID it is going back to this. Early in the pandemic, the question being asked was: Is the Irish wake dead? The answer to that is an emphatic 'No'," Colm says.

This has also been the experience of Fr Padraig in Tralee. "It depends on the family circumstances but for the most part, if it's possible, families like to bring the person home to the house for at least one night.

Bringing the body home helps us grasp the reality and finality of their death," he adds.

CHANGING CUSTOMS There is some evidence that Irish attitudes to death and dying are changing. One barometer of the change is the extent to which cremation has become common. It is estimated that there are between five and ten cremations for every hundred funerals in Ireland, with that percentage continuing to rise every year. The first crematorium in Ireland, Roselawn in Belfast, was opened in 1961, followed by Glasnevin 20 years later.

There are now six crematoria on the island, including ones in Cork, Cavan and Shannon.

Removal of the remains to the church the evening before a funeral remains commonplace in many rural areas. Having a removal facilitates mourners who cannot make it to the funeral or would prefer not to call to the family home, thus allowing more people the opportunity to sympathise directly with the family. However, removals did not take place during the pandemic and were already becoming increasingly rare in Dublin and other large urban areas. There are a few reasons for this, suggests Mary Cunniffe. "Many people would rather have their loved one at home in their own home for their last night instead of in the church.

There is also an awareness that families can find it hard to meet and greet mourners twice, at the removal and then again at the funeral the next day. And, of course, with declining numbers of clergy, priests are under pressure. Despite the introduction of funeral

ministry teams, there is not always someone available for a removal."

While the majority of families still opt for a religious funeral, recent years have seen an increase in non-religious or civil funerals – though not to the same extent as, for example, non-religious marriage ceremonies.

Many funeral directors now offer the option of a non-religious ceremony or civil funeral, which can be held in a funeral home or crematorium. It is very much a family decision. In addition, many people now make plans ahead of time for their own funeral.

"Some people have lost their connection

memorial cards arranged straight away, and have them at the funeral for people to take away with them. We don't tend to have address books anymore, so that is one custom that is changing."

THE IMPACT OF COVID When we look back at the pandemic, several images will stand out, from frontline workers kitted out in PPE gear to children making socially distanced visits to grandparents through a front window. One powerful image that is sure to feature is the scores of people lining streets and footpaths to form

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with the church but haven't lost their relationship with God," explains Mary. "They might still want to go to the church and have a funeral Mass, or if they don't want a Mass, they can still, for example, have a service with Scripture readings, prayers of the faithful and reflections. These ceremonies can be very meaningful for families.

"I have seen a lot of changes over the past 20 years. People are much more open to voice their opinion and to plan ahead. There is greater attention to detail. For example, people used to send out a memorial card for the month's mind or the first anniversary.

Now it is common to have bookmarks or

a guard of honour as a funeral cortege passes on its way to the church. In the absence of opportunities to sympathise with a family at a wake or funeral, this was often the only way a community could show respect for the deceased and support for the bereaved family.

Time will tell whether this new custom will continue now that the numbers allowed at funerals are returning to normal. Fr Padraig says he was surprised at how quickly the guard of honour became commonplace, and it has shown no sign of tailing off just yet. "Even in the last few months, when larger numbers were permissible at funerals again,

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One development that looks set to continue is the use of technology to broadcast funerals to those who can't attend people are still willing to get together and stand outside along the road. Maybe it's tied in with the absence of the handshake – we still can't shake hands at the moment, so the guard of honour has taken its place."

However, funeral director Colm Kieran says the next six months will be telling.

"Things are beginning to return to normal, but many people are still reluctant to be in large gatherings. I anticipate that during the winter months we won't see people standing out as much. There will be a return to people coming into the church and filing past the coffin and family."

One development that looks set to continue is the use of technology to broadcast funerals to those who can't attend. Webcams are a common feature in churches now. This has been particularly valuable for family members who were unable to travel home for a loved one's funeral.

"The introduction of webcams into REALITY NOVEMBER ����

churches, funeral homes and crematoriums has opened things up, particularly to people who are abroad or can't get home; they can be right there in the room," says Mary. "There are even private companies (such as Memorial Lane) who can provide a live stream and recording of a funeral. It means a lot to families to be able to go back and watch the funeral in the days and weeks afterwards. I think these things will carry on now that they've come in."

A parish priest I spoke to from Cork city pointed out that while webcams are a positive development, the technology has its limits. "Webcams are valuable for people who can't travel; I've had funerals where sons and daughters were joining from different countries. It is an important aspect but the machinery can occasionally give trouble if the camera or signal breaks down. And in general it's a fixed camera, so people can only see the sanctuary and the coffin but they won't be able to see the family or anyone else there."

He adds that having the numbers for the Requiem Mass limited to 10, 20 or even 50 during the various stages of the pandemic was

extremely difficult for families, as was the loss of the traditional formats of sympathising. In response, online condolence books became vital as an outlet for people to sympathise with the family and offer prayerful support.

Many funeral directors, such as Massey Bros., print off all the condolence messages left on their website and on RIP.ie and present them to the family in a memory book.

"It brings a lot of comfort to the family to read all the lovely messages back," says Mary.

"People are not just writing their name in a book but are really thinking about it and it is more meaningful for families. To be honest, I don't know if condolence books will come back."

Fr Padraig feels that this is something that will be navigated in the coming months and years. "Online condolences would have been a no-no for many people two years ago. For some people, it felt cold. But now they've taken off and are very acceptable, and it's lovely for families to be able to see the names and re-read the messages. But maybe for close friends and acquaintances, online condolences might not be enough when we go back to the usual way of doing things."

Tríona Doherty is a freelance journalist and editor and is a regular contributor to Reality. She is co-author, with Jane Mellett, of The Deep End: A Journey with the Sunday Gospels in the Year of Luke, available from www.messenger.ie.

COM M E N T WITH EYES WIDE OPEN JIM DEEDS

MUSTARD SEED FAITH IN THE RESURRECTION

CHILDHOOD VISITS TO THE CEMETERY WITH MY UNCLE HELPED SHAPE MY OUTLOOK ON DEATH AND WHAT HAPPENS AFTERWARDS Until recently, I was part of a team from our parish community in West Belfast who went into our local primary school once a week to speak to the children about faith and church. Specifically, I would go in and spend 20 minutes with two classes, talking about the Gospel reading of the coming Sunday. I found it tremendously rewarding and, while the deal was that I would go in and 'teach' the children about the Gospel, of course, the children taught me many lessons too. In this month of November, when we Catholics are drawn to remember our loved ones who have fallen into the loving arms of God, one particular school visit comes to mind.

I was visiting Primary Five classes at the time in question, which meant that the children were around eight years old. The following Sunday's Gospel was from Luke 17:5-10, the parable where Jesus compares the Kingdom of God to a mustard seed. A key theme I see in this reading, and the main focus of my discussion with the children that day, is 'faith'.

Having read the Gospel, I asked them: "What is faith?" We spoke for a few minutes, and they suggested words like believing, sticking with something, trusting someone/ something, having confidence in someone/something. All very good descriptions of what faith is about, I am sure you will agree.

I asked them to call to mind someone in whom they had faith in their everyday lives, someone who had their back and who never let them down.

I got the range of answers you would expect. They spoke of their parents and wider family, as well as their friends and teachers.

One or two even declared that they had faith in Jesus or God. Clearly, these children were well supported in their lives as they had so many people in whom they had faith.

But I got another answer that I didn't expect. A good number said they had faith in (trusted, stuck with, had confidence in) a relative who had died. Many said they had faith in a dead granny or dead grandad or dead auntie or uncle. These children spoke in a clear and simple manner, matter of fact, with sincerity.

Th e y ha d an o n go in g relationship with these deceased relatives. It was amazing to hear this from ones so young. At once, they understood the finality of this life we live and the continuing nature of existence beyond this lived experience. Wow! Reflecting on the discussion as I went home that day, I remembered some of my own childhood experiences that helped shape how I looked at death and what happens afterwards. I remembered my grandfather, Jimmy Webb, who took me most Sundays to visit my grandmother's grave. Jimmy had been visiting that grave for a long time before I was born. You see, his wife died in 1950, four short years after they had married. She was called Agnes and was only 25. Tragically, she died from an illness that is treatable today. And

when Agnes passed away, she left Jimmy with two young daughters, my aunt Christine (one year old) and my mother, Ann (3 years old).

Jimmy never married again. Agnes was to be his only love.

And as a faithful husband of his generation would do, Jimmy visited Agnes' grave often. As years became decades, the visit to her grave became a focal point of his week. And I became part of this routine. He would come to our house, collect me, and we would set off. I have so many happy memories of my grandfather. We went all over the place together and visited all sorts of people, his friends and our family. But I have to say that the visit to my granny's grave was a special thing for me.

I think I knew the sacredness of the moments that we stood at her grave. We would always say a prayer. He would always reminisce in some way. And we would talk about what was going on in our lives. I realise now that visiting the grave was a way for him to keep Agnes in his life, keep her part of his daily or weekly routine. It was a way for him to keep the spirit of their marriage alive.

Part of the legacy of this time in my life is that it made 'visiting' my dead relatives feel normal and soothing as I talked with them in prayer and my general conversation. My understanding of the existence of an afterlife assured me that, as I spoke, they heard. I carried on visiting my granny's grave with my grandfather right up until his death 20 years ago. Now I also visit

him as he lies at last alongside his young bride.

So, most days now, I am to be found walking in one or both of the cemeteries near my home. I visit relatives and friends. I visit relatives of my friends as well. And as I walk around the cemeteries, I continue to talk to the deceased, both in prayer and in general conversation, as convinced as I ever have been of eternal life beyond the grave. It was so heartening to hear the same conviction expressed by those children in the primary school.

I'd say not all of them went to Mass that Sunday to hear the Gospel reading that sparked our wonderful conversation. They are growing up in a time when the language and practice of religion is not the norm. And yet, the sense of the divine and the conviction of there being more to existence than the few short decades most people are afforded in this life was strong with them.

In this month of remembering, let us pray for those who have gone before us, having left us the legacy of our culture, tradition, and outlook on life. Let us remember anyone who has died and has no one to visit their grave or no one to remember and pray for them. Let us pray for the faith of an eight-year-old, believing in the resurrection of the dead and life everlasting, even if that faith is the size of a mustard seed.

Belfast man Jim Deeds is a poet, author, pastoral worker and retreat-giver working across Ireland.

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CELEBRATING FUNERALS THE IRISH WAY

A PROFOUND RESPECT FOR THE DEAD IS SOMETHING THAT HAS PERSISTED THROUGH THE AGES – IN OUR CELTIC BLOOD, IN OUR DNA

BY JOHN J. O RÍORDÁIN CSsR

It 18

is said that the Jews celebrate weddings in style, and the Greeks are credited with giving a special céad míle fáilte to newborn babies, but the Irish take gold when it comes to burying the dead. This is because of the warm, dignified, and prayerful send-off given to those who have gone ar slí na firinne – on the way of truth. While the music, song, homily, and eulogy all have their place, what makes an Irish funeral special is the supportive presence of an often silent community standing foursquare behind the bereaved.

As a Redemptorist missioner without regular pastoral care for parish life, my experience of funerals is limited to the burial of friends and relatives in and around the Sliabh Luachra area of North Cork and East Kerry. Memories of those funerals linger; memories of the unrestrained grief released as the coffin of a beloved parent, child, or sweetheart is lowered into the grave, soon to be followed by a more intense outburst triggered by the sound of shovel after shovel full of cold clay thudding heavily on the hollow coffin.

Funerals of fellow Redemptorists tended to be more sedate, even clinical. The unrestrained grief was missing because the deceased brother-in-Christ was usually

REALITY NOVEMBER ����

neither a close blood relative nor an intimate friend. An observant confrère, a cynic some would say, having witnessed the funeral of many a Redemptorist once remarked, "I never saw a tear fall into the glass of wine at the funeral of a confrère." Over the decades, especially since the Second Vatican Council, a more humane spirit with less of the stiff upper lip has grown up among us. When working on a parish mission in Birmingham, I got a phone call announcing the sudden death of Fr Jim McGrath, our well-loved and charismatic Limerick superior. Sitting on my bed that evening, 'I cried sorrowful' as the poignant Limerick phrase has it.

FUNERAL CULTURE Reflecting on funeral culture in general, the late Brother Séamus Campion, a dedicated funeralgoer, maintained that a funeral was "far better than a wedding." Being a keen student of RIP.ie, Seamus was a godsend to our community in Mount Saint Alphonsus and frequently saved us from embarrassment.

"Was there anybody at the funeral?"

"Yes, Séamus was there."

"Oh, Thank God!" Séamus enjoyed a reputation for smelling rigor mortis within a radius of 100 kilometres. He saw funerals as occasions to pay respect to the dead

and engage the living: to renew old acquaintances, trace relationships, get introduced to the rising generation, and sometimes to resolve long debated and tantalising issues relating to the why and wherefore of a cleamhnas – an often obscure marriage connection between certain families.

Attending a funeral or actively participating in any aspect of it was a sacred duty on the part of my father. Relationships, especially blood relationships, went very deep with him, and the deepest bond of all was with his Culloty blood relations. At a Culloty wake or funeral, the dead generations were resurrected and celebrated. It only required a minimum of alcohol to activate the tear ducts and, thereafter, lamentation for the dead generations was duly performed in song and story.

Pondering on those occasions put me in mind of a radio interview involving the son of Seamus Ennis, the piper. He recalled being in a pub in Dublin when a stranger approached him inquiring if, indeed, he was the son of Séamus Ennis. On hearing that he was, the inquirer said with a depth of emotion registering in his voice, "Ah, I dug your father's grave; and I was proud of every shovelful I took out." A similar sentiment inspired participants in the secret funeral of Peter O'Neill-Crowley, the 19th-century Fenian leader: "Twas many a mile we shouldered you, a stóirín geal mo chroí."

Most people attend funerals out of solidarity and good neighbourliness. Nevertheless, the presence or absence of people can have consequences, as every politician knows. At the funeral of my cousin Jeremiah Culloty in Ballydesmond, his brother Murty was standing on a kerb by the graveside, apparently alone with his thoughts. My sister Joan approached to offer sympathy but was gently rebuffed with, "Don't distract me now, Joan. I'm looking at the people that aren't here." Murty was not standing for election, but there were deeper issues here: the enduring solidarity of 'standing foursquare.'

CULT OF THE DEAD Over half a century ago, the Second Vatican Council revitalised many aspects of the Christian vision but said relatively little about funeral liturgies and the cult of the dead. More recently, the Irish government, motivated perhaps by venal and pragmatic considerations, as good as abolished the Festival of Samhain, charged as it was with Ireland's tradition, lore, and custom of multi-millennia. Instead, we got a day off. In the light of the changing attitudes and values of the late 20th and 21st century, it is often asked why Irish funerals and ancillary rituals seem to have escaped the heat, scorn and contempt so gratuitously slung at other aspects of Irish Catholic practice.

The feast of Samhain originated deep within the mythological world of the Celts. It was a memorial of the dead generations and traditionally celebrated in burial places such as Brú na Bóinne, Tara, and Uisneach. At Samhain, the Tuatha de Danann (the fairies) were understood to come on visitation from the realm of the divine to the human world. For that reason, there was always (and still is) an element of menace about Samhain.

There was an understanding that the divine was intervening and that one should never take the divine for granted. Our remote Celtic ancestors lived with a bi-cosmic mindset. In other words, they lived in two worlds – the world of the visible and the world of the invisible. At any moment, the divine could break in on the human since both worlds interpenetrate. The cult of the dead seems to have been a significant aspect of Celtic spirituality, such as it was, if we may use that word.

It is something that has persisted through the ages – in our Celtic blood, in our DNA. COMMON IRISH TRADITION With the Christianisation of Ireland, many elements of a cultural and folkloric nature blended into a common Irish tradition; for example, the proximity of the other world and the bi-cosmic mentality that opened the door to the concept of saints and angelic visitations. By the 9th century, the twin feasts

of All Saints and All Souls found common cause in the celebration at Samhain.

It was only in the 17th century that René Descartes (1596-1650) conceived of a clear and unbridgeable dichotomy between matter and spirit. While that may well be true from a scientific point of view, it does not interfere with long revered rituals and customs respecting the dead. After all, dichotomy or no dichotomy, the believer still acknowledges that 'is goire cabhair Dé na an doras' – the help of God is nearer than the door. And, likewise, that the 'faithful departed' together with the saints and angels are all around us, and that we are in God's hands. The Celtic Irish were given to religion in both the preChristian and Christian tradition. It is part of what we are and doesn't suddenly disappear with the stroke of a ministerial pen.

John J. Ó Ríordáin CSsR is a member of the Redemptorist Community in Limerick and has written extensively on early Irish and Scottish Christianity. He is also author of a memoir Before the Night Grows Late.

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Remember Me THE MEMORIAL CARD IN IRISH CULTURE

THE MEMORIAL CARD, ONCE SO UBIQUITOUS IN IRELAND, IS A GENTLE REMINDER TO PRAY FOR OUR DECEASED LOVED ONES AS WELL AS KEEP THEIR MEMORY ALIVE

BY SALVADOR RYAN

The 20

humble memorial card is a wonderful thing. It is also one of the most under-appreciated and littlestudied of the everyday items that we often take so much for granted. For the writer, Michael Harding (Irish Times, November 20, 2019), memorial cards have a way of appearing from nowhere when you least expect it: They fall out of books or appear on the mantelpiece or turn up unexpectedly in a drawer of socks. Or they lie hidden for years at the bottom of some cornflakes box where Christmas lights are stored. There are times I imagine them falling out of the air, like messages from the invisible world. I imagine concerned angels passing through the curtain between heaven and earth to drop the cards around the house when I'm sleeping.

Many people will be familiar with the sight of prayerbooks bursting at the binding from years

REALITY NOVEMBER ����

of being stuffed with memorial cards of family, relatives and friends, keepsakes, and reminders to pray for the dead, or to not let the memory of a loved one fade.

Despite what was once their near ubiquity in Ireland, very little has been written about these items, and many are unaware of their fascinating history.

VICTORIAN PERIOD The Victorian period in Britain saw a huge rise in the use of funeral stationery. Although the practice of sending a card with a formal invitation to a funeral was waning, from the mid19th century onwards, small memorial cards were sometimes made available at the funeral itself, or more often afterwards, to those who couldn't attend, as a memento or keepsake of the deceased. They were also frequently sent to relatives abroad.

Many of these cards were intricately blind embossed, with pierced "lace" designs, and some

had apertures for the inclusion of a photo of the deceased. They were produced by various firms before being passed on to a local printer who would over-print the specific details of the deceased and their date of death. Some were part-printed to allow for the addition of handwritten details.

These part-printed cards were often provided free of charge by undertakers who included the title of their business and its full address on the cards, which doubled up as a means of advertising.

Memorial cards were produced in vast numbers. Every high street printer had a stock of simple, black-bordered cards with matching envelopes. Even the poorest of families would make an effort to have them printed, often going into debt to be able to do so. They were treasured items.

A poignant account appears in the York Herald of November 18, 1884, relating how a widow called Jane Jemima Bogie brought a complaint against a bailiff

named John Winter for assault.

The widow occupied a two-room dwelling which was entered by the bailiff for non-payment of rent. As John Winter proceeded to seize all goods and effects in the house, the complainant begged him to be allowed to keep her husband's memorial card and his pillow. When Winter refused, she made an attempt to grab the memorial card from him, at which point he struck her in the eye and knocked her against a wall.

Memorial cards were produced not only for humans but occasionally for favourite pets. One example from 1898 commemorates "Our Jim" and, along with an image of a cat, its date of death and the motto "Semper Fidelis," are the words "Gone but not forgotten."

IRISH TRADITION The memorial card tradition as it emerged in Victorian Britain had certain similarities with, but also key differences

from, parallel developments in Ireland. For the most part, the market for memorial cards in Ireland was a Roman Catholic one, which meant that their very purpose was different.

While both Anglican and Roman Catholic cards encouraged loved ones to remember their dead, and functioned as keepsakes, Roman Catholic memorial cards specifically invited their owners to pray for the dead, something that one would not expect to find on their counterparts from the Anglican tradition. Furthermore, in the period before the Second Vatican Council, Roman Catholic memorial cards often listed indulgences that could be gained (either for the deceased or the living) by the recitation of certain prayers. They also included images of saints who might be prayed to as intercessors for the dead.

In the southern Netherlands, from as early as the 18th century, cards known as Bidprendtjes, memorialising the dead, were distributed at funerals, often at the graveside. These normally displayed a holy picture on the front and details of the deceased on the back. However, memorial cards would not become truly popular until the 19th century when France, from the 1850s, and Germany from the 1870s, became their major suppliers.

In France, they were known as images mortuaires, from which we got the term 'mortuary card,' which was another name for 'memorial card.' The first advertisements for memorial cards in Ireland appeared in the 1870s, and firms advertising them were keen to show that they offered the best French designs.

Religious goods repositories in France or Germany usually supplied lithographed memorial cards to Irish printers with the reverse left blank so that the details of the individual death could then be inserted locally.

CHURCH OF IRELAND Although many in an Irish context will associate memorial cards with the Roman Catholic tradition, this was not exclusively the case. In fact, while relatively rare, memorial cards were also printed for members of Church of Ireland families, and I have recently seen some late 19thcentury examples from my home parish of Dunkerrin, Co Offaly.

Furthermore, an advertisement in The Freeman's Journal in 1890 from Lyons' Brothers, Grafton Street, which announced "magnificent new assortment of Irish, English and French designs, just received; patterns sent post free on application; kindly state religion of deceased," immediately suggests they were catering for a wider market.

Memorial cards were usually stuffed between the pages of prayer books. They constituted the spiritual equivalent of 'family albums,' each photo a prompt to remember in prayer a member of one's family – mothers, fathers, grandparents, cousins, and then also members of the 'family' we create for ourselves, our closest friends. In effect, this was 2 Maccabees 12:46 in action: "it is a holy and wholesome thought to pray for the dead." A frequent quotation to be found on Catholic memorial cards was the following: "We have loved her in life, let us not forget her in death" (St Ambrose).

PARTICULAR DEVOTIONAL USE Memorial cards can be useful indicators of the spread of a devotion – especially key moments in which a particular devotion explodes onto the scene. This could happen quite quickly following a canonisation.

One example I have at home depicts the newly canonised Pope St Pius X (he was officially made a saint in 1954). What is very telling is that the card in question was chosen for a lady who died in Roscrea just shy of 13 months later. The image of the pope-saint was evidently chosen by her family above many other options available at the time.

By any standards, devotionally speaking, Pope St Pius X was clearly a fast mover in that he managed to make it from Rome to Roscrea in such a short space of time.

Many of the memorial cards carried an indulgence with them, often associated with the recitation of a particular prayer or the expression of devotion to an indulgenced image. One of the early images on memorial cards was that of the crucifixion, accompanied by the prayer "My Jesus, Mercy!", which carried a plenary indulgence (that is, remission of all punishment due to sin that one would have to undergo in purgatory) when recited in front of a crucifix.

As a person's stay in purgatory was understood in temporal terms, certain prayers carried partial indulgences, namely, the reduction of a person's sentence by specific amounts of time (eg "300 days, seven quarantines" [a period of 40 days], etc). A memorial card could offer 100

days' indulgence for reciting the prayer "Heart of Jesus, once in agony, pity the dying," and 300 days' indulgence for the prayer "Sweet Heart of Jesus, be Thou my love." Meanwhile, the short aspiration "My Lord and God" offered seven years' indulgence.

It was understood that the more frequently the prayer was recited, the greater the reduction would be achieved in your loved one's term as a "poor soul" in purgatory.

Repetition was incentivised by adding the words "each time" after the stated numerical values.

IMPACT OF VATICAN II But change was on its way.

One of the reforms introduced

by Pope Paul VI in early 1967, shortly after the Second Vatican Council, ordered all references to specific numbers of years or days, formerly attached to indulgences, to be discontinued.

However, old habits die hard, and most of the traditional, heavily indulgenced prayers continued to be reproduced in their strippeddown state on memorial cards for many years afterwards.

The inclusion of set prayers on Roman Catholic memorial cards was one way of ensuring that the deceased was properly prayed for, using approved and doctrinally sound texts, which had a venerable tradition. Printers offered a range of possibilities. As some prayers or verses became commonly used, others tended to select them as well, so they became well established. The Memorare prayer is a good example of a text that is very often found on these cards. Despite its title, the prayer's origin has nothing to do with remembering the dead but rather petitions the

21

THE DEATH ISSUE

Virgin Mary to remember the cause of her clients.

LESS RELIGIOUS Memorial cards from the 1970s onwards are more likely to include texts that comment on the general qualities of the individual commemorated, such as "He was loving and kind in all his ways, upright and just to the end of his days." More recently still, the imagery on some memorial cards has tended to move away from explicitly religious iconography.

The deceased is now more likely to be depicted surrounded by more natural settings, often a scenic backdrop, a woodland setting, or, perhaps, carefree on a beach.

We also more often see images of our departed loved ones happily engaged in doing what they loved

to do best, whether knitting on their favourite armchair, playing a round of golf, supporting their local GAA club, or carrying out an aspect of the livelihood at which they spent many of their days. The focus has slowly shifted from an emphasis on their entry into the next life and the necessity of securing them safe passage to a celebration of the life they have lived and the people they have blessed with their presence along the way.

A discussion of memorial cards on Facebook recently caught my attention. Many of the comments captured the affection in which these pieces of holy ephemera are still held, continually laden with meaning and memory. One, in particular, made me smile: Oh, the dresser at home is

full of them! ... every time I go home, I say hello to everyone in the "dead press" ... my own name for it. "How are ye all there in the dead press?" .. might sound a bit insensitive but it's my way of keeping that connection with all the people / family I know who have passed. It makes my mother laugh a little. Sure we have to remember the good times with the good people.

What a lovely testament to the reality that the dead are, in a sense, always with us, their lives and ours interwoven through memory. Christianity has a long tradition of keeping lists of 'obits' and remembering the names of those who have gone before us.

But it also transcends particular faiths. The American actor and

singer, Mandy Patinkin (Criminal Minds, Homeland, etc), often speaks of what has become a daily meditative practice for him: I recite every name of every person that I've known who's passed on. And I do that because there was a line in the libretto of Carousel. And the line is: "As long as there's one person on Earth who remembers you, it isn't over."

Salvador Ryan is Professor of Ecclesiastical History at St Patrick's College, Maynooth.

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THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE MONTH OF THE DEAD BELIEF IN GOD CHALLENGES ME TO INTEGRATE THE EXPERIENCE OF DEATH AND LOSS INTO MY LIFE RATHER THAN ENGAGE IN ESCAPISM OR FALL PREY TO DESPAIR

BY JOHN SCALLY

My

mother's voice was fractured with emotion as she spoke down the crackling line. Although her voice was scarcely audible, her words are forever imprinted in my memory. "Prepare yourself for an awful shock. Are you sitting down?"

The darkest scenarios exploded through my brain, except that one. "Poor Oliver got a heart attack this morning and died in Bertie's shed. The ambulance came and took him away. Can you come home?"

The foundations I thought were firm under my feet crumbled. Oliver was my best friend.

My next-door neighbour. My cousin. My soulmate. I've been told that, from a certain

angle, we could have been mistaken for twins.

He was the brother I never had. The finality of his death hit home with brutal force. From then on, I would have to think of him in the past tense.

I braced myself for the saddest moment of my life when I arrived at the corpse house. It was a weird experience to walk through the door. I wanted to turn back but had to keep walking. I hadn't expected to see his body in the living room. I had tried to prepare myself for this moment. But seeing his remains just feet from me was frightening in the extreme.

I went to offer words of consolation to his family – but it was they who comforted me.

My mind spun with questions. Oliver was just 33 years of age. I could not comprehend why his radiant eyes had to surrender their sight, why his articulate voice had been made silent. Justice should not allow the sacrifice of such innocent wealth.

Well-meaning sympathisers trotted out soothing platitudes: "It's God's holy will."

Right then, I wished that God had never been invented.

Another said, "It's happy for him. There's something beautiful about a young death."

Happy? Beautiful? I wanted to scream at such a perversion of language. But it wasn't the time or place, even if I had the energy.

23

THE DEATH ISSUE

I'm not sure why I felt compelled to touch his forehead. The coldness of death repelled me, and I pulled back my hand immediately. For the first time, I discovered that tears taste of salt.

24

STRANGE PARALYSIS On the third day, Oliver was buried. His funeral was a deeply moving occasion.

The grief, though intensely personal, was generously shared. As always, the local community responded magnificently in times of adversity. Everyone rallied round.

Every seat in the house was crammed with relatives and neighbours, all with mournful faces; with very good reason in this court of human suffering.

My memory of the funeral is a complete haze as if I've lost a piece of my life. In this state, the sands of time shift slowly. A strange paralysis invaded me.

The graveyard is on the top of an exposed hill. "This must be the coldest spot in Ireland," a stranger said to me.

My grandfather, my surrogate father after my real Daddy died when I was only five, is buried almost next to Oliver's grave. Unlike Oliver, the swirling tide of death had liberated him from the nightmare of a lengthy illness.

It comforted me to think that the two most important men ever in my life lay almost side by side. For a moment, I longed to be

tap-tap-tap as the back of the spades shaped the mound of fresh clay. What really crucified me, though, was the sound of earth crashing on the coffin. Now we will be forever friends in two different worlds.

I waited until the mourners had departed to be alone with him for a final moment.

I prayed to buy him some shares in the hereafter. Now I know why goodbye is the most painful word in any language. Parting is no sweet sorrow.

SUSTAINED BY HOPE It is hope that sustains us. St Augustine wrote that, "Hope has two lovely daughters: anger and courage." Anger comes when we hurt after a death in the family. We need courage if we are to take the steps necessary to transform the situation. But how are we to do so without compounding the existing problems or begetting new ones?

Today’s world is obsessed with youth. Many people seem petrified of ageing, let alone dying.

We need a new culture of dealing with the reality of death. The Christian tradition has many insights to offer to this debate. Death isn’t the end of the story, but another phase in the soul's journey, an entrance into the wider life, endlessly stretching out. As Christians, we should be at the forefront of developing a positive understanding of death. We profess to believe that the eternal life in which we pray to be resurrected has long begun.

Suffering, particularly after a loved’s one death, can seem an unanswerable conundrum for those who believe in the Christian God, and often rouses us to anger.

Yet, we also believe that God is present in our suffering, hanging on the cross of contradiction, and that life flows from this dark mystery.

On Good Friday, Jesus reached into the depths of sorrow, when this God-made-man experienced the physical agony and the mental degradation that so many people experience today. It was as if he deliberately entered the most painful dimensions of being human, plumbing it to its unspeakable depth. We need to find the crucifixion and resurrection within us.

Now I know why goodbye is the most painful word in any language.

Parting is no sweet sorrow with both of them – but my time had not yet come.

Oliver was laid to rest in an austere ceremony. His coffin was lowered into the ground and then draped in a blanket of hay.

"The finest of stuff," he would have said.

Tradition in rural Roscommon dictated that, on the prompting of the bereaved, the nearest neighbours dig the grave and later fill the clay over the coffin with a sense of privilege and decorum. The frozen earth seemed to resent the willing shovels. There was a finality about the proceedings in the REALITY NOVEMBER ����

THE MEANING OF RESURRECTION November is the month designated by the church as a special time to remember those we have loved and lost. It's a month we in Ireland have historically marked by visits to our loved ones' graves. But we often forget its bigger purpose. This is a time when the church invites us to reflect on the mystery of death itself. It is an invitation I am reluctant to take up, as the thought of death chills my bones, but I feel it is my duty to Oliver to do so. The sadness of his death will always be with me. This month, the Christian church challenges me to integrate this experience into my life rather than engage in escapism or fall prey to despair. It challenges me to find something constructive in this most destructive experience of our human existence.

To do this, I must interpret the meaning of Oliver's death in the light of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Jesus really died. His death was never undone.

Jesus maintained his total commitment to his Father's will even when confronted with the certainty of his own extinction. In raising Jesus from the dead, God has not undone the laws of nature. Instead, God manifested his fidelity to his Son by accepting Jesus's total self-giving and powerlessness on the cross and by glorifying him as the first-born of a new, eternal order of relationships as they are meant to be.

In this perspective, eternal life starts now.

God's fidelity to us gifts us with eternal life in the here and now. While death is the end of our life, it is not the end of our story. It is, rather, the threshold to a new, transformed relationship with God that has begun even now.

As the darkness of winter closes in, I will again think of Oliver and grieve for my friend. But one memory will sustain me. During his burial, a few drops of rain fell. I suspected they were tears of anger for a deed wrong and absurd.

But as the final shovelfuls of clay were thrown on the grave, the sun came out of hiding like a scene from an autumnal photograph. The symbol surely was the reality. Oliver had risen with the Son.

John Scally lectures in Theology in Trinity College. He is a native of Co Roscommon.

WALKING THE JOURNEY OF

GRIEF AND LOSS

25

I HAVE LEARNED FROM PASTORAL PRACTICE THAT GRIEF IS MESSY, PAINFUL, AND IS A MOST UNDETERMINABLE PROCESS

BY MARGARET NAUGHTON

Grief

and loss are words familiar to all of us. They roll off the tongue without difficulty but also carry such depth of feeling, pain, and unexpected

powerlessness, especially if we become their partner. We have an idea of what these words mean, of how we might feel if we were to experience either 'grief' or 'loss'. But until we

actually find ourselves engulfed in the tsunami of pain and devastation that comes with loss, we really have no idea of how we or others might feel. Of course, we don't have to walk in the shoes of those who grieve in order to be able to empathise with their situation. Still, at the same time, it is a pathway we often have to walk ourselves in order to really have the capacity to grapple with the mess and the unpredictability of loss.

I have worked as a healthcare

chaplain for the best part of 12 years. I have met many people who have experienced the pain of loss in myriad situations. Every experience is unique. Their loved one has gone from their physical reality but is very often sensed as still part of their existence.

People bereaved suddenly, others perhaps after a long and difficult illness, a pregnancy loss, the death of a child, suicide, the loss of a parent, a sibling or a much-cherished neighbour or friend, and yet, each narrative

THE DEATH ISSUE

account of loss is different. Each sacred recollection of a loved one is told in words, images, pictures and memories that express in a personal and unique way the beauty of the person who has left their life. No matter how many times I hear the pain of loss, the sharing is sacred, special, and is my privilege to hear.

the complexity of it all. Anton Boisen, the founder of the Clinical Pastoral Education training programme, refers to people as "living human documents." I have 'studied' and 'been with' living human documents for most of my professional life. I have sat with those who are devastated by loss. I have learned that each

But when the reality of loss pains us, we can find ourselves exploring our relationship with God and seeking answers to our painful questions

26

MANY THEORIES Those with a personal or professional interest in loss will know that there are many theories that provide us with a framework to navigate grief. There are many theories that give us some understanding of how we might feel when we lose someone we love or find ourselves going through a life-changing crisis or difficulty. I have studied many of these and have a solid theoretical grounding in the area of grief and loss. I know how we might feel, how we could feel, and how we might wade through the waters of grief given some time and space.

However, reflecting not on the theoretical but drawing from my pastoral practice, I sometimes think about what I have actually learned about grief and loss from over a decade of working with those whose lives have been immeasurably changed by a personal or family experience of loss. Putting the textbooks aside, what have I learned about the pain and experience of loss and the process that follows it?

In truth, I have learned of REALITY NOVEMBER ����

'living human document' reacts differently to the experience of loss. Each of us will engage with the process of grief in our own unique way.

Howard Gardner talks about theories of multiple intelligences offering us some insight into how we all learn differently. From practice, I believe that this can be transferred to the grieving context as we all are different in how we engage with the world and, therefore, we will all experience and respond to grief in our own unique way, determined by, amongst many other things, our personality type.

I have learned from pastoral practice that grief is messy, painful, and is a most undeterminable process. It can floor us completely, changing who we are, how we see and engage with the world and how we want to do so. It can make us numb, detached, disengaged, disassociated from life. It can come and go in waves, or it can be a consistent feeling of emotional burnout, feeling spent and lacking in energy, listless and lifeless. It can bring a tsunami of different feelings, emotions and challenges every day,

making our life unpredictable and difficult to navigate. It brings us into places and spaces we may never have entered before. It brings darkness into a life that may have always been full of light and colour.

It challenges us to seek the why of our life, the well-spring of its source and meaning.

THE FAITH DIMENSION Grief and loss can also trigger an important conversation about God and religion. As people of faith, we believe that God is with us in our darkest moments. We sense God's presence in our lives during the good days and the bad.

But when the reality of loss pains us, we can find ourselves exploring our relationship with God and seeking answers to our painful questions.

We can find ourselves wondering why we have experienced the loss of our loved one and can find ourselves sitting at the foot of the cross, seeking consolation and comfort from our God. People who are grieving can also experience anger towards God, especially in the wake of a sudden or unexpected death. They can feel abandoned by God, hurt, rejected, or unloved. They speak of feeling disappointed in their God, unrewarded for a life lived as well as they could within the context of their reality. For some, the grieving process can feel like a Job moment, abandonment by their benevolent God. Many others to whom I have ministered have spoken of the consolation their faith brings to their experience of pain and loss.

They feel supported, empowered and scaffolded by their faith. They feel held in the loving arms of Jesus, the same Jesus who walked the lonely road to Emmaus with

his broken-hearted disciples. They find that their faith offers them something to hold onto when everything else has become blurred and grey.

MY MOTHER'S DEATH When my mother died two years ago, people often asked if my faith was a help to me. Did knowing about grief make it easier to 'deal' with her loss? In truth, the theory triggered many 'heady' or academic answers to such questions.

Certainly, being able to 'understand' something is helpful and somewhat empowering. I knew why I was feeling the way I was and, yet, there was a sense of powerlessness at times in losing my best friend. No theory adequately prepares you for your loss of identity, your loss of role and of companionship, which the death of a loved one often brings.

But, on reflection, it was my faith that helped me the most. Knowing that she now rested in the loving arms of the Emmaus Christ was a source of great consolation to me.

Aware that she was gone home to God, that her life of toil and troubles had been replaced by one of peace, provided me with hope and love and consolation on the days when my heart heaved in pain.

I miss her still, and I suspect I always will, but knowing she is with my God offers me much hope.

Grief is a painful and unpredictable journey. It is one none of us wishes to walk. It challenges, stretches and changes us. May the Lord of hope and consolation be with all those who walk this journey and let them know that they are not alone.

Margaret Naughton PhD is healthcare chaplain at University Hospital Kerry and author of Walk with me into the Light, (Messenger Publications).

Mourning my beloved Mam I’M STILL COMING TO TERMS WITH MY MOTHER'S SUDDEN DEATH FROM COVID-19 AT THE HEALTHY AGE OF 90

BY TOMMY MORRIS

I

was privileged to be part of a hospice-based team providing a supportive service to terminally ill people for seven years. It never became routine. I discovered that each person's life story and circumstances could have been the script of a Hollywood movie. I learned that when death visits, bereavement has no borders, nor does it respect human status. I say ‘when’ because death will visit each of us many times.

We in Ireland are noted for dealing with death in a positive way. But I believe this tradition is changing, as is Irish society.

My mother's sudden, shocking death from COVID-19 during Easter 2020 at the healthy age of 90 was the most challenging time of my life. I was utterly unprepared for it. Feelings of anger still dominate, with many 'why' type questions hanging over me. I was angry with myself for not doing more for Mam. I also felt a real sense of robbery as there was so much more that we had to talk about. The manner of her passing and the 'what if' questions remain.

This trauma and its effects are personal to each of us, but I believe that faith in an afterlife and a clear understanding of the cause of a loved one's death can ease the pain of loss. I often wonder about the fact that even though we know "we can't live forever,” still we never seem to prepare for the inevitable. Modern society has sanitised death and removed the many factors that used to help individuals accept that death is very much part of life. For example, suppose a person dies at home. In that case, unlike in the past, the family now plays little part in preparing the remains for burial.

Many old traditions are not used anymore, such as praying the Rosary, a vigil rota, the wearing of black and the three days' wake before burial.

ARDUOUS LIFE My Mam died suddenly after having survived serious illness in the past. She lived an arduous life which only became easier as her 12 children aged. For almost all of that time, she dedicated herself to protecting us.

She was our undisputed anchor and a living saint. Born between two world wars, her early years were spent in Cathal Brugha Barracks in Rathmines. The Ireland of today bears little likeness to the country of her younger years.

The challenge of making ends meet was a daily struggle.

She became both mother and father to us after my dad died in 1970. He was, she said, the one and only love of her life, and his sudden death left her devastated.

Afterwards, everything she did was focused on her unconditional love for her children.

Born on October 9, 1929, Mam was shy, unlike her children, but she had a wonderful sense of humour. A liberal at heart, she also loved her prayers and her sacraments, which served her well in sad and challenging times.

She built a happy life with Tom Morris until that shocking Sunday in February 1970, when his heart stopped beating. Then she began all over again rebuilding our family both as mother and father. In later years, nothing delighted her more than being surrounded by her children, grandchildren and their children. Even though it is more than a year since she died, our emotions remain raw. She was our an lár, the centre of our lives, a noble woman who taught us the importance of prayer and forgiveness.

She fought the good fight; she finished the race, she kept the faith.

GOOD MEMORIES My work with families as part of the hospice services’ team was to help create good memories and help facilitate meaningful preparation for the expected death. I’m convinced that a lot can be achieved even when time is short.

Sudden and unexpected death is a greater challenge. Getting that phone call, answering the hall door to a Garda or meeting the doctor in the hospital with sad news is our most feared experience. It is here that friendship and support are vital. You may feel shock, disbelief, sadness or numbness. This is understandable.

Everyone reacts differently to loss. It's ok to feel whatever you're feeling. Allowing time to care for yourself is the essence of 'selfhood.' The British psychiatrist Colin Murray Parks catches it for me when he says that the pain of grief is just as much part of life as the joy of love.

Mrs Morris aged 18

A former senior medical social worker in palliative care, Tommy Morris is a tutor in health care and social policy at Inchicore College of Adult Education, Dublin.

27

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Only a brush of your cheek away IN HIS DYING AS IN HIS LIVING, MY FATHER DEMONSTRATED WHAT I NOW HAVE THE WORDS TO DESCRIBE – A SACRAMENTAL LIFE

BY BERNADETTE SWEETMAN

One

day in the late 1940s, a little boy in a north county Dublin national school was asked, "What would you like to be when you grow up?" The answer he gave was "A Daddy."

Over 70 years later, my three siblings and I are still so grateful for such enthusiastic foresight. Da is still our Da. Seamus is still my mother's true love since she was 15 and he was 17. It was such a joyous occasion in 2019 when we marked their 50th wedding anniversary. Love was always evident in our lives. The close family bond we shared did not break when Da died on September 29, 2020.

It was almost a year to the day since I sat with Da in the hospital room, and the doctors came to inform him of a growth in the pancreas. I remember two things in particular. One was when he commented how I always seemed to be present when he got any big news. Second, after about three sobs, he literally threw back his shoulders and said we just have to '"put our trust in the Man above" and to look after Mom. I had to ring my brother first so that when we phoned Mom, she wouldn't be alone. At all times, Da was thinking about how he could make things easier for his family.

My family was always close. The household was blessed with humour and gratitude. I use that word 'blessed' on purpose. Through their life example, Mom and Da demonstrated for us what I now have the words to describe – a sacramental life. God was and is always present. Faith is part of my DNA as a result. My parents were gifted their faith from their parents, but I'm also convinced that being farmers contributed significantly to this sacramental life I mentioned earlier. Being dependant on the land and weather, farmers have a special understanding of the circle of life and the limited control that humanity has upon it. Farmers, of course, work so hard and do their best, but there was also a sense when I was growing up that this was a cooperative endeavour with the Creator. As I progressed in

a career immersed in religion, education and theology, I was blessed to have a greater literacy to articulate this lifelong experience of sacramentality that my parents lived every day. Especially with Da, I treasure so many deep conversations on the big questions of life, and the importance of the little things, too.

NEW NORMAL As 2020 came along with all its 'new normals,' our world revolved around Da. In some way, COVID-19 kept the family even closer, as if we were also cocooning for the massive change we knew was coming. With the superb care of St Francis Hospice, our local doctors and wonderful carers, Da got his wish to be at home in Piercetown, a place he called a little piece of heaven. Our openness with each other made us all able to leave no word unspoken, and, in those final months, Da helped us to prepare.

He chose his funeral directors, his burial place, and suggested some hymns, notably his favourite 'Queen of the May.' He even requested that my sister and I, along with our brothers and nephews, be the pall-bearers. It was all such an honour and blessing to be actively involved in how Da wanted things to be. It was a reassurance that we knew he was happy.

We cherished the care from our local priests.

During the height of the COVID-19 restrictions, Da was so appreciative, as we all were, that he received Holy Communion, the Sacrament of the Sick and final absolution at home. Mass cards and prayer requests were all very important. At a time when physical distance was so evident, spiritual communion felt even stronger. Particularly in the final weeks, there was a great awareness of the family members who had already passed away, that they were never far, and that Da would be welcomed and looked after. In fact, he said to us he hoped that when he was gone, he would never be

too far away, that if we were to feel a brush along our cheek, that would be him.

SPECIAL GIFT Da left us with a special gift. For us, September 25 will now be known as 'Da's Friday.' For the first time in many days, Da woke up. From 10 am that morning until 10 pm that night, he sat up in the bed surrounded by the whole lot of us – children and grandchildren – talking, laughing, joking, entertaining, and reminiscing. It was nothing short of a miracle as far as we were concerned.

Apparently, this 'death surge' happens to some people when they are near death. Da spoke of the 'celebration' that was going to happen soon.

Although we knew the end was close, we were keenly aware throughout that day that this was a final gift from Da. When I left that night, I thanked him, and he nodded in agreement. "Yes, I really enjoyed it," he said. Then, afterwards, he said a prayer with my sister that he taught her as a child to keep bad dreams away: "Hail Mary's little one. Hail God's eternal Son. Sweet babe of Bethlehem. Amen." He went asleep and died the following Tuesday.

We can speak about loss. He is physically gone, but I could never say I've lost my father. After all, he is just a brush of the cheek away. I can still feel him when the seasons change, the crops are harvested, and in the everyday moments with my family. It is because of my faith that I know we are all still connected. More than a comfort, it's part and parcel of sacramental living. Just as Da commented that I always seemed to be present when he got 'big news,' I know he is doing the exact same for me.

A native of Piercetown, Skerries, Co Dublin, Dr Bernadette Sweetman is a post-doctoral researcher in Adult Religious Education and Faith Development, Mater Dei Centre for Catholic Education, Dublin City University.

29

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HONOURING THE DEAD

ALL SOULS IS AN IMPORTANT DAY AND NIGHT IN THE PHILIPPINES, AS PEOPLE GATHER IN CEMETERIES TO REMEMBER THEIR DEAD

BY COLM MEANEY CSsR

In

the aftermath of the tragedy of 9/11 in New York, some devout Jews kept vigil at the site of the towers' destruction, in case it would be impossible to identify victims’ remains. Their mission was to afford that body, whoever it may be, a decent burial. Their goal was inspired by the Old Testament.

That collection of books has many injunctions to give the dead an honourable burial. The earliest account is of Abraham buying a burial plot, at an exorbitant price, for his recently deceased wife Sarah (Gen 23:15.16).

Another early Biblical story concerned Abraham's greatgrandson Joseph, who rose to a high political post in Egypt. On his deathbed, he begged to be taken back to Israel to be buried with his ancestors. So his body was embalmed, and, after many years, his remains were duly taken to the promised land amidst the confusion of the Exodus from Egypt. Joseph's bones were thus brought on the 40year journey through the desert, a generation-long cortege (Ex 13:19).

Years earlier, Joseph's father, Jacob, who died in Egypt, was accorded almost a state funeral, as many of the elders of Egypt and of the Jews joined the procession back to

Canaan, where Jacob was buried together with his ancestors (Gen 50:7-9).

Indeed, not to be given an honourable burial was a sign of ignominious disgrace. This is precisely what happened to Israel's first king, Saul. He, along with his three sons, was killed while battling the Philistines. But instead of being buried with honour, his body was mutilated and displayed as a token of victory by the enemy, only to be rescued later by the men of a nearby town (1 Sam 31:8-13). This is another reason why Jesus' parable of the wicked tenants is so shocking.

Not only are the servants mistreated, but the son of the vineyard owner is killed and then cast out of the vineyard, without any burial at all (Mk 12:8).

Honouring the dead through a decent burial is one thing, but is there a danger that such devotion could spill over into ancestor worship?

This was a problem encountered by that most adventurous and intrepid missionary, the Italian Jesuit Mateo Ricci (1552-1610). His travels brought him to India, Macao, and eventually to China. A man of immense learning, he had great respect for the Chinese people and

their culture. By immersing himself in the culture and adopting as many of the customs as he could (language, dress, social habits, etc), he gained the respect of the learned Chinese among whom he mingled, and he began to make some converts.

But one of the controversies he had to deal with was the Chinese devotion to their ancestors. Was this ancestor worship? Such veneration is condemned in the Bible, so it would be an unacceptable strategy to act as though it was innocent and welcome. Ricci sought the advice of another seasoned missionary, and they concluded that, far from being worship of one's ancestors, such devotion was, in fact, an extension and intensification of the biblical command to "honour your father and your mother" (Ex 20:12), one of the Ten Commandments. In respecting their ancestors' graves, visiting them on festive occasions, burning incense, and so on, they were extending the honouring of one's parents to include even the dead.

Filipinos are also devoted to their dead, the major annual celebration being All Soul's Day. Philippine cemeteries vary enormously, depending on people’s cultural

background and place on the social ladder. Graves vary from a simple wooden cross with the deceased's name and death date painted on it to the lavish ornate mausoleums of the wealthy of Spanish and Chinese descent. But the rich might consider the wise words of the psalmist: "The wise and the foolish must both perish, and leave their wealth to others. In his riches, man lacks wisdom" (Psalm 49:10).

The evening and night of All Souls are memorable, as Filipinos gather to remember their dead. It may ostensibly be an occasion to honour their ancestors, which in all sincerity it is, but it also dovetails nicely into a celebration for the living, lasting until the first rays of the rising sun.

Eating, drinking, loud music and fireworks are the ingredients for this festive occasion. The noise of the fireworks is thought to scare off any demons lurking in the vicinity. While it undoubtedly has an inevitable sense of sadness at lives having passed, the atmosphere is primarily one of thanksgiving for life having been graciously given and hopefully lived as fully as possible.

A native of Limerick city, Fr Colm Meaney first went to the Philippines as a student and has spent most of his priestly life there.

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C OM M E N T FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS CARMEL WYNNE

LIVING WITH YOU, WITHOUT YOU

FOR THE FIRST THREE YEARS AFTER COLM DIED, I LOOKED SO BROKEN AND LOST I WAS LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAD A LIMB MISSING

I

32

know only one thing for certain about grief. No two people grieve in the same way. It is widely accepted that a grieving person goes through a five-stage process before reaching acceptance – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. But this was not my personal experience.

My husband Colm died seven years ago, and time has mercifully deadened the intensity of my grief and sense of loss. Recently, my daughter Aoife told me that for a couple of years after her dad died, I looked so broken and lost I was like someone who had a limb missing. Even when we were having fun and laughing, the shadow of grief was in the background.

This was an accurate description of how I felt for the first three years after Colm left me. Emotionally, I felt bereft. For a long time, I couldn't say, "Colm died." I said, "He left me." My daughters said this made it sound like their dad had run off with some young hussy, which upset them.

TALKING ABOUT DEATH When he was in the hospice, Colm wore a black t-shirt with bright yellow letters that declared, 'I'm not dead yet.' He talked openly about dying, named one of our priest friends to celebrate his funeral Mass, and gave us the wording he wanted on his tombstone. As he wasn't going to be around for the funeral Mass, he said we could have any kind of service we liked.

The call that he was dying came at 9 o'clock in the morning. I remember feeling calm as I drove to the hospice. Colm was unconscious when I got to his room. I think that I was the last of the family to arrive. The girls were sitting on both sides of the bed, holding his hands. I lay with him and held him in my arms.

Before I went into the room, a nurse talked to me about how Colm's breathing might change or become noisy at the end, but,

REALITY NOVEMBER ����

thankfully, this did not happen. I watched him breathe in and out, in and out, quiet, gentle shallow breaths. His death was so natural. At the moment his breathing stopped, I felt a beautiful, sweet sensation of love, and I knew he was gone.

Grief was physical for me. My body was heavy with sadness, and the scary thing was my brain did not function. I felt lonely, lost, and incomplete. This was sad and frustrating for my daughters as practical matters needed attention. My daughter Deirdre Anne remembers how difficult it was to get me to make any decisions in the early years after he died. For a very long time, she had to put up with being told, "I can't. I'm just not in the right head space."

CHRISTIAN FAITH Part of me felt like a broken woman, and other parts felt grounded and at peace.

What helped me cope was meditation, my Christian faith, the belief in an afterlife, which is a blessing that sustains me to this day.

Three months after my beloved died, I wrote in my diary: "Awake at 4.35 am which seems to be my usual time. I did my two meditations. Plan now is to get up. How can I miss the husband who is in my heart?

I feel peaceful and have confidence that I'm coping well."

That was a good day.

On a bad day, the entry was: "I feel flat.

Not keen to get up. I eat junk. Even though I made soup I didn't eat any. Tears are flowing, grief and sadness pouring out. The sadness is to do with putting an end to partnership.

From now on it's not us, it's just me. It's hard, a painful loss. I'm so lonely."

We were married for 44 years and one day when Colm died on August 28, 2014. My diary entry on August 29 was: "I couldn't sleep or stop crying. I'm so tired that I am zombie-like. This is so hard. I'm devastated, heartbroken, lonely, grieving and yet

grounded and peaceful that Colm did it his way. His last words to me were, 'Happy anniversary, love. 44 years. We made it."'

HALF-FUNCTIONING I have no memory of the liturgy. Family tell me the funeral Mass was a beautiful, very personal celebration of Colm's life. The celebrant was a family friend. Our youngest Aoife and her cousins sang. Aileen gave the eulogy; Niamh and her friends harmonised Colm's favourite song as the casket glided through the curtains for his cremation.

For the first year after Colm died, I was tired, emotional and only half-functioning. Family, friends and neighbours were incredibly supportive, but I had lost all desire to socialise. Six months after I was bereaved, I wrote that, "My early morning strategy helps hugely. I have a routine: meditation, get up, dress, breakfast, Mass, walk and have lunch."

Twelve months later, I wrote: "It's 4.58, and again my sleep pattern is disrupted. I'm lonely and sad and in a strange way okay with this.

I could read, but that takes energy. A Mooji meditation is a good start to the day. I'm doing better with socialising, but I'm putting on weight. I need to watch my diet and make a self-care plan."

Three years on: "I'm feeling down, overwhelmed with house, probate, papers to file. This is hard because it's more letting go. Getting taxes and probate done would feel good. I'm so sad and feel the loss of my best friend."

THIRD ANNIVERSARY The turning point came on the third anniversary of Colm's death. One sentence changed everything. I heard a woman speak about her husband, who died 17 years earlier.

She said, "I no longer live life as a married woman," and that sentence resonated with me and gave me a future.

Accepting that I was now a single woman

was the first step in moving on with my life. The longing and emptiness I felt for my departed husband was at its strongest in the early morning and in bed alone at night when I pined for our daily chats. The second step in my healing was to talk to single friends, to get practical advice on living as a single person.

The third step was to go on holiday by myself.

Three years to the day Colm died, my life began to change for the better. The brain fog cleared. My self-care improved. I was motivated to deal with matters that I had deferred for far too long. I deeply regret that our bereaved daughters were left unsupported by me in those early years, but I do not feel guilty. When you are blinded by grief, you cannot offer others what you do not have for yourself.

Colm is very much alive in the minds and hearts of our adult children. I talk to him all the time, and it warms my heart to hear any of our daughters say, "I asked Dad," seven years after his death. My life is happy and fulfilled today. I feel content. Not a day goes by that I do not miss Colm's physical presence, but the wonderful consolation for people gifted with faith is the acceptance that we will meet our loved ones again.

Our daughter Aileen has a beautiful saying that consoled me and sums up how I cope without the physical presence of the man I will always love and carry in my heart: "Until you meet again you will have to live with him, without him."

Carmel Wynne is a life and work skills coach and lives in Dublin.

For more information, visit www.carmelwynne.org

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My journey through grief JUST AS I WAS COMING TO TERMS WITH THE LOSS OF MY BELOVED HUSBAND, COVID CAME ALONG AND KNOCKED ME OFF COURSE

BY DEE NEESON

To

set the scene, in September 2019, after 50 years together, my beloved husband Bernard died from pancreatic cancer, five weeks after diagnosis. Previously he'd been very fit and healthy, walking miles every day, sailing competitively three times a week and always ready for an adventure with our grandsons. The blow was made even more shattering, if that's possible, by the fact that he'd had a complete health check only four months earlier, which had revealed nothing.

From the moment we heard the dreadful news, Bernard found great strength in returning to his faith, and was greatly supported in this by a Spiritan priest we knew who visited him almost daily (and who celebrated his funeral Mass). I, on the other hand, had no consolation in religion. I was full of anger. I knew I was going to lose this good man, who had been nothing but kind and supportive to me for half a century, to our children and grandchildren, his siblings and indeed everyone he came into contact with, so why, if there was a God, was he taking him? Where was the logic in that? I raged up and down the clinic corridors, muttering to myself. I wouldn't stay in the room while Bernard watched daily Mass on TV; I peppered Fr Tom with the unanswerable why, why, why, which he couldn’t really answer.

Thanks to the wonderful staff in the Blackrock Hospice and to the reading I'd done of Kathryn Mannix's book,* Bernard was able to have a peaceful and 'good' death. I held his hand as he took that final breath, which even now gives me great consolation – we kept the promise we made all those years ago "till death do us part."

In the immediate aftermath, the biggest emotion was absolute nothingness – being at the funeral and cremation was like being on stage, acting a part, while inside, I was absolutely numb. I was

amazed at how well I functioned in the following weeks, dealing with all the legal and household administration. When I mentioned this to a counsellor at the hospice, she wisely said, "Use it to get stuff done now – at some point you will collapse physically and/or emotionally, and then you won't have the energy you need for this kind of thing."

How right she was! I kept going till Christmas, which I had no heart for, and shortly afterwards fell into bed with sheer exhaustion till after the new year.

NEW LIFE? I slowly began to rebuild my life, or should I say build a new life? I discovered who my real friends were, the ones who kept ringing me, asking me around for a cup of tea or a meal, making sure I was managing. Then just as I was getting used to this new existence, COVID came along and knocked me off course. I had always thought I was a fairly strong person psychologically (I'm an only child, by the way), but the loneliness of those days in isolation was nearly unbearable. As an older person who's immunosuppressed, I had to be so careful.

My daughters stood in the garden to check in with me but oh how I longed for a hug, a kiss, any physical contact.

After a couple of months, I began to spiral backwards and downwards into the raw grief of the initial bereavement and anger at the unfairness of Bernard's death. Why had it happened to him? To us? Why had none of the doctors seen the warning signs until it was too late? Why did other people survive and not him? What was the point of getting out of bed when he wouldn't be there? I never felt suicidal – life, for all the anguish, was still very dear to me – but how could I fill my days? Saturday nights were the worst. I couldn't go to sleep until the clock had ticked past 23.45 (the time of death) and found

myself re-living that night minute by minute until the early hours.

Finally, I summoned up enough energy and courage to look for counselling online. Though it was strange not to be in a room with someone, unable to read body language, we struggled on.

The first sessions left me exhausted physically and emotionally, but gradually Ciaran helped me to work through my feelings, harrowing though the process was, and eventually, I found myself getting back on a reasonably even keel. The reopening of our society has helped (plus the vaccine, of course!), but it will never be the life we had together.

LEARNING TO COPE If grief is the price you pay for love, then two years on, am I still grieving? Yes, I miss him terribly, but as I read somewhere, you simply learn to cope better. The good memories are uppermost now, apart from the occasional unexpected event that can trigger a pang of loss, but I suppose what I feel most underneath the surface is the absence of his presence. I still find myself saying, "I must tell Bernard that" – and then I remember that I can't. Do I feel his 'spirit' near me, as so many other bereaved seem to have experienced? No, not at all – I thought I would, but there's been nothing. I still haven't had a satisfactory answer as to why he died when he did, but I don't dwell on it. Am I unhappy? No, I'm different, but very glad to be alive. I think this anonymous quotation sums up my feelings: "Grief is the last act of love we have to give those we loved.

Where there is deep grief, there was great love." * With the End in Mind: dying, death & wisdom in an age of denial

by Kathryn Mannix, pub. 2018 Little, Brown Dee Neeson worked in community development for many years.

A mother of five and grandmother of five, she is English-born but a Dubliner by choice and an ardent Leinster rugby supporter.

35

FR AT E LLI T UT TI

RELIGIONS AS AGENTS OF FRATERNITY IN THE FINAL CHAPTER OF FRATELLI TUTTI, POPE FRANCIS INSISTS THAT RELIGIONS HAVE A NECESSARY ROLE IN HEALING THE WOUNDS AND REPAIRING THE BROKEN BONDS BETWEEN PERSONS AND SOCIETY

BY MICHAEL DALEY

Papal

36

encyclicals, like graduation speeches, can be very platitudinous – full of words and ideas that have been heard so often that their desired effect is lost shortly after hearing or reading. Yes, we're inspired by the writer or speaker – the pope or some notable person of repute – but when it goes on for too long, we feel the need to remind them that this is just a formality. Utopia needs to give way to the real world.

We're not supposed to take what they're writing or saying seriously, are we?

In one form or another, the word kindness has been the subject matter of both encyclicals and graduation speeches. Who among us hasn't been encouraged, well, to be more kind? So much so that the word, unfortunately, has been robbed of nearly all of its depth and challenge.

Taking the graduation stage at Syracuse University in New York in 2013, American author George Saunders tried to remedy this situation. In a moment of confession, he admitted that what he most regretted in life were "failures of kindness." Catholics know these situations well as sins of omission.

Saunders went on to describe these as "moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded . . . sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly." In his case, he was particularly haunted,

REALITY NOVEMBER ����

decades later, by not defending the "new girl" who never fit in, who was teased repeatedly, until one day she was no longer there.

Speaking further, with students soon to be worldly graduates, Saunders offered this advice: "It's a little facile, maybe, and certainly hard to implement, but I'd say, as a goal in life, you could do worse than: Try to be kinder."

As to why we aren't, Saunders suggested: "Each of us is born with a series of built-in confusions that are probably somehow Darwinian.

These are: (1) we're central to the universe (that is, our personal story is the main and most interesting story, the only story, really); (2) we're separate from the universe (there's US and then, out there, all that other junk – dogs and swing-sets, and the state of Nebraska and low-hanging clouds and, you know, other people), and (3) we're permanent (death is real, o.k., sure – for you, but not for me)."

The antidote to this state that Catholics call original sin is kindness.

RELIGIONS: INDISPENSABLY POSITIVE AND CONSTRUCTIVE Despite, at times, strong evidence to the contrary – hypocritical leaders, exclusivist theologies, reactionary policies, and problematic histories – Pope Francis is adamant in Fratelli Tutti (Chapter 8) that religions have a necessary role in healing the wounds and repairing the broken bonds

between persons and society. In this regard, Francis states, "The different religions, based on their respect for each human person as a creature called to be a child of God, contribute significantly to building fraternity and defending justice in society" (#271).

Pope Francis makes this statement well aware of religions' checkered past, present, and, possible, future. It is this very religious breadth and depth, though, which allows him to declare: "From our faith experience and from the wisdom accumulated over the centuries, but also from lessons learned from our many weaknesses and failures, we, the believers of the different religions, know that our witness to God benefits our societies.

The effort to seek God with a sincere heart, provided it is never sullied by ideological or self-serving aims, helps us recognise one another as travelling companions, truly brothers and sisters" (#274).

Scott Alexander, professor of Islamic Studies and Christian-Muslim Relations at the Catholic Theological Union in Chicago, reinforces Francis' words when he says, "the value of religions is clear. They are rich human traditions which, despite their hypocrisy and malfeasance, have witnessed and continue to witness to a truth that we ignore only at our own peril as a species: that we are more than just material beings, that compassion and love are the greatest forces in the universe, and that every

creature and atom of creation has an inherent dignity and beauty that ultimately lies beyond the scope of scientific rationality to comprehend."

This is the reason the church speaks 'publicly,' beyond the confines and 'privacy' of its neighbourhood churches, charitable organisations, and educational institutions. The church has a message and, ultimately, a person – Jesus – which concerns the common good and speaks to the political, social, and environmental issues of the day.

CHRISTIAN IDENTITY In building fraternity, Pope Francis affirms the teachings of the Second Vatican Council (1962-1965) when he states that the "church esteems the ways in which God works in other religions."

At the same time, seeking to allay any concerns some may have that encountering other world religious traditions in dialogue waters down the Christian faith and identity, Francis strongly asserts: "Others drink from other sources. For us the wellspring of human dignity and fraternity is in the Gospel of Jesus Christ." Paradoxically, then, being Catholic means being "catholic;" residing in the substance of the Christian tradition and truth but also being open to and connecting with persons of other traditions and beliefs to bring forth the Kingdom of God (#277).

In this case, there is no compromise,

no competition, only fraternal communion in justice.

Here Alexander sees the calling and benefit of inter-religious dialogue: "The various components of our identities are not given to us as talents to be buried and kept safe lest we risk losing them (Mt. 25; Lk 19), but rather as capital to be invested and risked for the sake of the reign of God. In more concrete terms, it has been my personal experience that those who engage in inter-religious dialogue in faith and humility end up experiencing a mysterious and invigorating renewal of the faith identity with which they began."

RELIGION AND VIOLENCE: A BETRAYAL OF TRUTH Speaking against a commonly held criticism, Francis professes that a "journey of peace is possible between religions" (#281). It is why he so laments and strongly condemns any violence done in its name – Christian or other.

Fortunately, according to Alexander, "Jesus of Nazareth is widely recognised as a paragon of what it means to be committed to active non-violence. At the same time, so much of the witness of Christ and his Gospel to the way of non-violence has been perverted, distorted and misused to perpetuate

and enforce a false theology of the cross that tries to convince people to accept rather than resist the violence perpetrated against them by systems of oppression and exploitation."

If ever there was any doubt, Pope Francis demands: "We believers are challenged to return to our sources, in order to concentrate on what is essential: worship of God and love for our neighbour, lest some of our teachings, taken out of context, end up feeding forms of contempt, hatred, xenophobia or negation of others. The truthisthatviolence hasno basisinour fundamental religiousconvictions, but only in their distortion" (#282).

In closing, Francis alludes to the Abu Dhabi meeting he had with Grand Imam Ahmad Al-Tayyeb in 2019, which ended with the Document on Human Fraternity for World Peace and Living Together. Fratelli Tutti ends by invoking the prayers of Blessed Charles de Foucauld, who, in the anonymity of the African desert, lived out his desire to be "a brother to every human being."

Michael Daley is a teacher and writer from Cincinnati, Ohio. His latest book, co-edited with Diane Bergant, is Take and Read: Christian Writers Reflect on Life’s Most Influential Books (Apocryphal Press: Berkley, 2017).

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Pope Francis with Grand Imam Ahmad Al-Tayyeb in 2019

End of series

LI T U RGY

The power of

SILENCE In a society that lives at an increasingly frenetic pace, often deafened by noise and confused by the ephemeral, it is vital to discover the value of silence.

Pope St John Paul II

THROUGH SILENCE, WE MEET THE 'STILL SMALL VOICE' OF GOD 38

BY MARIA HALL

The

modern world seems threatened by silence. We do all we can to fill it with noise. And when there is silence, people often feel uncomfortable. The same is true in the liturgy.

Silence doesn't mean that something has gone wrong. We don't always have to be busy doing things. That's not what active participation means!

Through silence, we meet the 'still small voice' of God. When he spoke to Elijah, God taught us that we could experience him in calm, quiet ways.

Through silence comes the sacred.

The quieter you are, the more you will hear Unsurprisingly, we see examples of this and gain inspiration from the saints. St Ephrem said that we should "speak much with God but little with men." In his 12 steps to holiness, St Alphonsus Liguori speaks at length about silence. He says, "silence is one of the principal means to attain the spirit of prayer and to fit oneself for uninterrupted interaction with God." St Thomas a Kempis told us that, "In silence and quiet, the devout soul advances REALITY NOVEMBER ����

in virtue and learns the hidden truths of Scripture."

In 2016, Pope Francis visited Auschwitz to pray for the 1.1 million people who were murdered there. His visit was characterised by silence. The Guardian headline read, "No words as Pope Francis visits Auschwitz death camp in silence."

Accounts of the visit describe how his entire visit was conducted in quiet; he walked around the site, sat in the cell where St Maximillian Kolbe died, stood in the square where many were hanged, and met survivors.

All of this was done in silence. Yet it said so much.

In his book The Power of Silence, Cardinal Robert Sarah says, "to refuse silence filled with confident fear and adoration is to refuse God the freedom to take hold of us by his love and presence." He observes that "sometimes in the liturgy there is an air of misplaced, noisy familiarity." This obsession with noise is, says Sarah, to be blamed for a loss in a sense of the sacred. If we truly believed in God's presence, surely, we would be stunned into silence! If we have no capacity for silence, we are also "deprived of mystery, reduced to fear, sadness and solitude."

LITURGICAL SILENCE Pope John Paul II reminded us of the importance of silence 40 years after Vatican II's Sacrosanctum Concillium. He said, "the liturgy, with its different moments and symbols cannot ignore silence."

Silence is an integral part of the liturgy, along with words, postures, gestures, symbols and music. It serves various functions but is never accidental.

The poet Rumi says, "the quieter you are, the more you will hear." This is definitely true of the liturgy.

But achieving the ideal quiet when we gather isn't a straightforward task. Attaining that prayerful stillness is as important as paying attention to the quality of music, proclaiming, and preaching.

PREPARATION FOR MASS The getting-ready and the journey to church is part of our preparation for Sunday Mass. So, by the time we arrive at church, we should be ready to spend some quiet time preparing our hearts and souls to meet Christ in Word and Eucharist. The General Instruction of the Roman Missal recommends quiet time before Mass, in church and the sacristy. We can be silent internally in a background of noise, but

the reverse is also true. In a peaceful environment, our minds can be noisy and distracted. We need to resist the temptation to chatter, and be still, as Pope Francis has reminded us. "Silence is so important," he said, "Remember… we are not going to a show.

Silence prepares us and accompanies us."

As one wise man said, "Two people talking stop forty people praying." It's a common problem that shouldn't be avoided. In the 6th century, St John the Silent lived a life of quiet for an incredible 76 years. We should be able to manage ten minutes before Mass.

INTRODUCTORY RITES During the first part of the Mass, we are first invited to recall our faults and failings in a moment of silence. Then before the Collect, the priest says, "Let us pray." This is an invitation for everyone to be aware of the presence of God and that they have come together, gathered as the Mystical Body of Christ. It's a pause with a purpose!

LITURGY OF THE WORD The Liturgy of the Word is to be celebrated in such a way as to favour meditation and so any kind of haste such as hinders meditation is to be avoided.

Silence is essential to hearing the scriptures. We need time to ponder on the Word and absorb its meaning. The General Instruction suggests short pauses before and after the first and second readings and after the homily. There should also be a pause before saying "The Word of the Lord." The music of the psalm also allows us to meditate on the words of the first reading. Any movement of lectors needs to be done with care and without distraction.

The skill of the lector is vital in our reception of the Word. A pause after the homily allows us to absorb the words of scripture, the commentary on them and respond to them in our hearts. At the Prayer of the Faithful, the lector should pause after announcing the intention; we need time to hear the words and bring them to mind.

LITURGY OF THE EUCHARIST The Preparation of the Gifts can be a busy part of the Mass, with the collection, procession, singing, and children returning from their own liturgy. It is easy to miss the preparation of the altar and the prayers of offering of bread and wine. We are invited to offer ourselves to be transformed along

God is the friend of silence. In prayer and silence God will speak to you.

In silence, we find new energy and unity. Silence gives us a new look on everything.

St Teresa of Calcutta

with the bread and wine, and we need the space to offer ourselves in prayer. All this requires careful organising so that any sense of rush is reduced to a minimum.

The Eucharistic Prayer is the "centre and high point of the entire celebration." It requires "that everybody listens to it with reverence and in silence."

Although the priest recites the prayer alone, we also have a role to play. We hear the words of this ancient prayer and pray them in our hearts. We offer ourselves to be transformed, we recall the Paschal Mystery, we pray for the whole church in both heaven and earth and all who are part of God's plan for salvation, and finally, we give praise and glory to God. There is a lot to occupy our silence!

RECEIVING THE LORD After the Sign of Peace, the priest prays quietly before receiving communion. We do the same, praying silently that we may "fruitfully receive the Body and Blood of Christ."

We come forward to receive communion as part of a procession, though it can seem like a queue if it isn't carefully choreographed. Our silent, prayerful approach, and our bow immediately before receiving, expresses unity and reverence.

After a thanksgiving hymn, there should be time for individual prayer. Having received the Lord, it is appropriate that we "pray quietly for some time."

GOING FORTH We should leave Mass strengthened and empowered to transform the world, loving and serving the Lord. It would be a good thing to

practice a little silence in our everyday lives, too. St Francis de Sales says, "To avoid faults in speech, we must have our lips buttoned together, so that while unbuttoning them we may think of what we are going to say." St John Chrysostom says, "Speak only when it is more useful to speak than to be silent."

FOSTERING SILENCE IN THE PARISH Silence on its own without explanation is ineffective.

We must learn how to use it well. The homily is a good means of formation. The priest and ordained ministers are instrumental in setting a good example. I knew a priest who always sat at the front of church in silent prayer before Mass, and everyone followed his lead. Some carefully chosen words before Mass might reduce chatting and help create a prayerful atmosphere. Those involved with lay ministry should also lead by example and show that they are people of prayer, not fuss! Musicians, servers, lectors all need formation about how prayer is integrated with the practical tasks they perform.

IN SCHOOL Liturgical silence needs to be taught, and children are brilliant at it. But they need to know what the silence is for. It might be to think about someone they are praying for, or what Jesus is teaching them, or how they have treated people and how they can do better tomorrow. They also need to know that it's ok to daydream or to be distracted (we all do that!).

Lectio Divina, the Daily Examen and Imaginative Prayer are all wonderful ways of introducing children to quality silent time with the Lord. The more they practise using silence, the more skilled they will be in using it to become closer to God.

Further Reading Silence. A Christian History.

Diarmaid McCulloch, Penguin The Power of Silence.

Cardinal Robert Sarah, Ignatius Press Listening For God: Silence Practice for Little Ones. Katie Warner, Tan Books

Maria Hall is music director at St Wilfrid's Church, Preston, England. A qualified teacher, she has a Master’s from the Liturgy Centre, Maynooth and is a consultant on matters liturgical for schools and parishes. https://www.mariahall.org/

39

F E AT U R E

PLUMBING THE DEPTHS OF DESPAIR CATHOLICISM IN THE WRITINGS OF LIAM O'FLAHERTY

THE ANGER TOWARDS THE CHURCH CONTAINED IN LIAM O'FLAHERTY'S FICTION REVEALS A DEEP YEARNING FOR A FAITH THAT MIGHT BRING SOLACE

BY EAMON MAHER 40

Born

on Inis Mór, the largest of the Aran Islands, in 1896, the lifespan of Liam O'Flaherty coincided with massive changes in Irish society. By the time of his death in 1984, O'Flaherty had witnessed two World Wars, the Easter Rebellion of 1916, the successful struggle for independence from British rule, followed by a bitter and divisive Civil War, Ireland's accession to the European Economic Community, the gradual improvement in the educational opportunities afforded to all Irish citizens, and the emergence of an increasingly secular and economically prosperous Republic from the 1960s onwards.

O'Flaherty's writing reveals a serious distrust of clericalism, with priests often portrayed as meddling, authoritarian figures. And yet, he himself was singled out by the headmaster of his national school as a candidate for the priesthood. This resulted in his being dispatched to Rockwell College, where his academic prowess impressed sufficiently for him to be sent to Blackrock College. For various reasons, he would later abandon the idea of becoming a priest. John Montague observed in relation to O'Flaherty's possible motivation for studying for

REALITY NOVEMBER ����

the priesthood: "Clerical support would have been the only way for a child of his background to receive an academic education, and once this was achieved, he abandoned the life of a seminarian for that of a soldier, joining the Irish Guards." I am far from certain that O'Flaherty was as calculating as Montague suggests here. In my estimation, the ideal of the priesthood, lived out in a truly selfless and spiritual manner, stayed with O'Flaherty throughout his life. Unfortunately, many of the priests he encountered did not live up to the standards he associated with the role.

In addition, after the shell shock he suffered in France in 1917, he struggled with severe mental health issues and began to distance himself from the puritanical form of Catholicism that took hold in post-Independence Ireland.

This article will discuss briefly two of O'Flaherty's best-known novels, The Puritan (1932) and Famine (1937). Both were published during a decade when the writer was possibly at his most prolific – and pessimistic in his depictions of Irish Catholicism. It is interesting that The Puritan was published in the year the Eucharistic Congress was first held in Ireland. This event represented a golden opportunity for the fledgling Irish state to

celebrate its close historical links to the Catholic faith. Political leaders viewed the occasion as a way to mark the severing of the links with its nearest neighbour and colonial oppressor over many centuries.

SINISTER SIDE O'Flaherty's novel points to a more sinister side of Catholicism – fanaticism – as seen in the actions and demeanour of its main protagonist, Frances Ferriter. Obsessed with the need for a blood sacrifice to atone for the sins of Teresa Burke, a prostitute living in the same building as he occupies and with whom he is infatuated, Ferriter follows what he views as his 'divine destiny' by killing the young woman in the hope that the crime will be attributed to her lover, Michael O'Leary, a medical doctor and part of a highly influential Dublin family. So, when his landlady Mrs Kelly comes to his room to announce the news of Teresa's gruesome death, Ferriter declares: "I look upon this murder as an act of divine vengeance, and I shall do everything in my power to expose everybody that has been responsible for it."

His hopes that O'Leary would be charged

with the murder are soon dashed, as the police cannot find any concrete evidence to link him to the crime. In Ferriter's view, this is a sign of how corrupt Irish society has become, with one set of laws for the rich and another for the poor. When he first started lodging with her, Mrs Ryan had felt sympathetically disposed towards Ferriter, but when he accused her of allowing her house to be used as a brothel, she became wary of his fanatical views: "You sneaking spy, you've been nosing around here since you came, but maybe your own soul is blacker than mine in spite of your holiness." This observation is shown to be true as the novel develops.

RELIGIOUS INTOLERANCE At times seemingly oblivious to the fact he has committed a murder, Ferriter continues his crusade to combat the depravity and moral laxity of Irish society. Although a journalist himself, he views the newspaper owners and editors as mere puppets controlled by politicians, the church and other vested interests. From an early stage of their interview, the clever Superintendent John Lavan senses that Ferriter's outbursts reveal an inability to come to terms with the attraction he felt towards Teresa Burke. He also regards his religious intolerance as a reaction against his own spiritual weaknesses. On the eve of his arrest, Ferriter decides to confess his sins in church: "I shall confess and like the flowing of sweet, sunlit water the grace of God shall fall on me and I'll be at peace." However, after admitting to his confessor that he was consumed with desire for Teresa, that seeing her in the arms of O'Leary was intolerable, he then embarks on another verbal tirade, this time with priests as his target: "I am free of you, black humbug… But mark you, the day of your destruction is at hand and men like me, whom you have betrayed, will rise to overwhelm you."

Knowing the police are closing in on him, Ferriter decides he might as well enjoy his last hours of freedom. He seeks out a prostitute so that he might experience sex at least once, drinks alcohol for the first time and moves around the murky back streets of Dublin, not fully knowing where he is or what he's doing. When he is finally arrested, he insists on writing his own confession, in which he indicts everybody apart from himself and fails to accept that he has done any wrong. The novel's

last lines read: "There is no God but man has a divine destiny." Blinded by his puritanism and unable to think objectively about anything to do with God, Ferriter is portrayed as someone drowning in a sea of despair.

THE GREAT FAMINE When it comes to despair, it is hard to beat Famine, O'Flaherty's epic novel on Ireland's greatest human disaster. Interestingly enough, I first read this novel at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, and it put our recent problems in perspective.

Whenever Ireland is undergoing a crisis, there is an automatic tendency to compare it to the Great Famine. In 2013, for example, when announcing that Ireland was finally exiting the Troika bailout, then Finance Minister Michael Noonan said that the financial crisis that came in the wake of the Celtic Tiger was the worst Ireland had to endure since the Famine. O'Flaherty's epic account of the plight of the Kilmartin family and the other inhabitants of the appropriately named Black Valley was more harrowing than any of us living in third millennial Ireland can comprehend. The foraging for food – even nettles and berries are a boon until they too disappear – the wracking pain of empty stomachs, the stench of the rotting potato stalks and piled-up corpses, many of them children, the desperation of the people, all these are vividly described by O'Flaherty.

Mary, the beautiful pregnant wife of Martin Kilmartin, rebels against the iniquity the tenants must endure: "Mary suddenly wanted to scream and to cry out to God in revolt against the tortures of this poverty." She is conscious that she has committed a great sin in thinking these thoughts, but she cannot help herself. She recalls with resentment how the parish priest Fr Roche addressed his parishioners at the start of the famine: "You are relapsing," he said, "into drunken and rowdy habits, after those splendid years in the recent past when your temperance and your obedience to the constituted authority of your national leaders was the marvel of the world."

A staunch supporter of O'Connell's Repeal Movement, which opposed violence of any kind, Fr Roche is someone with a very traditional view of the church wherein the people are expected to 'pray and pay,' not to question the authority of

priests and the political leaders. His first reaction is to urge his people to support the status quo no matter what provocation may come their way. His curate Fr Geelan is in favour of a peasant rebellion, but in the end, he is described as one of those who "throw up their hands in horror when tyranny shows its fangs." Mary Kilmartin's sentiments sum up the community's mood: "God belonged to the rich, among whom there was no hunger and no understanding of hunger."

He abandoned the life of a seminarian for that of a soldier THE LUCKY FEW The silence of God in the wake of the suffering and death of millions of poor people convinces Mary that she should harbour no hope of divine intervention to solve her problems. She is one of the few lucky ones who manage to escape to America with her husband and baby, leaving patriarch Brian Kilmartin trying in vain to dig a grave in the frozen ground for himself and his wife, the only ones left alive in Black Valley.

While he was prone to hyperbole and explosive outbursts, Liam O'Flaherty was a writer of great talent. The anger contained in his fiction concerning Irish Catholicism reveals a deep yearning for a faith that might bring solace as well as pain. He had a wonderful understanding of the human condition and a deep appreciation of the soothing power of nature. Yet, one feels that ultimately he was an unhappy soul constantly yearning for proof of God's existence. This proof is given to very few indeed. It is well worth reading some of his work.

Eamon Maher's latest book, co-edited with Eugene O'Brien, is Reimagining Irish Studies for the Twenty-First Century, published

by Peter Lang.

41

FOOD FOR ALL?

THE REALITY IS THAT HUNGER AND MALNUTRITION RESULT FROM POLICY FAILURES RATHER THAN FOOD SCARCITY

BY DAVID O'HARE 42

In

the last 36 years, Malawi has experienced eight major droughts, affecting millions of people. In Madalena's community, small-scale farmers have started to adopt more viable agricultural practices to help them adapt to the catastrophic impacts of climate change.

Madalena is among 750 farmers who have benefited from agroecology (applying ecological processes to agricultural production) training provided through the Climate Challenge Programme Malawi, the Scottish Catholic International Aid Fund, and Trócaire.

"The whole family depends on me for food and everything. Before we joined Trócaire's programme, our family used to experience food shortages every year after the harvest," Madalena says.

Climate change has made farming harder in Malawi, but for the past three years, Madalena and her family have almost doubled their maize production from 300kgs to 550kgs through agroecological farming practices.

"The maize in the mulched field is not

REALITY NOVEMBER ����

wilting and has good growth compared to other neighbouring fields with a conventional farming system," she says. "By diversifying our maize farming with cow peas, sweet potatoes and pigeon peas this year, we are again expecting to have enough food to feed ourselves and have income from the sale of surplus pigeon peas despite the dry spell that has hit our area badly. Just imagine the past 15 years I have been farming without the knowledge of agroecology, I have really missed a lot."

Alarming new figures from the UN Food and Agricultural Organisation Food Security and Nutrition Report 2021 reveal that one in three people in the world – that's 2.37 billion men, women and children – did not have access to adequate food in 2020, an increase of 320 million people in just one year due to the compounding effects of COVID-19, conflict and climate change.

The report also shows enduring and troubling regional inequalities. About one in five people (21 per cent of the population) were facing hunger in Africa in 2020, more

than double the proportion of any other region.

The world now faces the unprecedented challenge of ensuring the right to adequate food for all on a planet where the population is estimated to increase to over 9 billion people by 2050, in ways that don't breach essential ecological and planetary boundaries, while tackling poverty and extreme inequality.

The reality is that hunger and malnutrition are the result of policy failures rather than food scarcity. Climate change and the relentless assault on biodiversity are drivers of hunger, along with increased conflict over scarce resources, including water and land, that are essential for food production.

The global challenges of climate change, biodiversity loss and rising inequality must be tackled if we are to make any real progress towards delivering zero hunger. And food systems have a central role to play in addressing these interconnected challenges.

A food system is the entire set of political, environmental, social, technical and economic factors that influence how people get access to and consume adequate,

nutritious food. Reforming food systems is complex but crucial for human and planetary survival and wellbeing.

It is beyond time for a radical transformation of our industrial agriculture and food systems.

World leaders must insist on change. If there isn't agreement for decisive action, the world will be set up for a continuation of the status quo in food systems and an increase in the millions of people who suffer from hunger and malnutrition.

Instead of promoting social, economic and environmental sustainability of agriculture and food systems, the proposed solutions currently on the agenda are concentrated on further privileging corporate/industrial farming interests.

Villagers in Zomba who are part of a Trócaire agroecology project with one of their thriving vegetable gardens.

Photo: Karen McHugh/Trócaire

Trócaire works in partnership with communities worldwide who continue to be marginalised by policies that hinder rather than enable a transition to more sustainable food systems.

An example of one such system being adopted by Trócaire and its partners is agroecology, which applies ecological processes to agricultural production.

This has the capacity to restore degraded natural resources, promote biodiversity and strengthen poor people's resilience to climate and other shocks.

With the support of the people of Ireland, Trócaire is helping to generate change and hope for the people most affected by climate change and food insecurity. In 2020/21, Trócaire's Climate and Environmental Justice Programme supported people in 13 countries, positively impacting the lives of 301,000 people.

You can provide life-changing support to people in some of the world's poorest countries this Christmas by buying a 'Gift of Love' or donating to Trócaire's Christmas Appeal. Visit www.trocaire.org

Turas ar an Naomh Shacraimint Lenár Linn

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Almost 300 years ago St Alphonsus Liguori published his Visits to the Blessed Sacrament, which became, and remains, a classic of devotional writing.

An Irish-language edition of Visits to the Blessed Sacrament for the 21st Century is offered in continuity with the spirit of that great work.

Translated from the English by Fr Clem McManus and with additional material, it contains 32 visits – reflections and prayers – that draw us ever deeper into the mystery of God and God’s love for humanity, plus an Irish-English glossary.

It is a wonderful companion for all Irish-speakers who take part in Eucharistic Devotion and for those who like to make the occasional visit to the Blessed Sacrament. Beautifully presented in full colour throughout, this is a devotional gem you will treasure for years

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UNDER THE MICROSCOPE

BOOK REVIEW BY NÓIRIN LYNCH

THE DEEP END: A JOURNEY WITH THE SUNDAY GOSPELS IN THE YEAR OF LUKE

BY JANE MELLETT AND TRÍONA DOHERTY

44

When I received a review copy of this book of Scripture reflections for the year of Luke by Jane Mellett and Triona Doherty, I intended to read it over a week. But I greedily gobbled up this intelligent, thought-provoking text in 48 hours. Probably the highest praise I can give it is to say that as I read, I unconsciously found myself humming the Magnificat over and over. The reflections brought me into happy praise of God. Three things strike me about The Deep End. First, the extent to which Luke's Gospel is so full of joy, inclusion and delight. Luke insists on seeing the unseen people, on turning the world on its head, and he gives us two of the great prayers of our church, the Benedictus and Magnificat, which are sung morning and evening across the world.

To hear the authors echo Luke's themes in their reflections is heartwarming. To be challenged by their grounding of Luke's message in our current lives is challenging. In their notes for the first two weeks alone, we meet Malala, Greta Thunberg and asylum seekers (pg. 18).

The tone is never patronising or preachy but always inviting and encouraging. Like Luke writing to Theophilus, the authors are sharing Good News with us with great joy and hope. We all need that joy and hope these days, don't we?

Second, the book's layout is accessible and informative. Its refusal to assume we all know the form and purpose of the liturgical seasons or calendar invites us to slow down and reflect before we begin.

Each section is well described, and I particularly liked the request not simply to read the reflections, but to be present with God's Word, savouring it aloud three times in Lectio Divina prayer before moving on to the reflections or questions. The invitation to carry a journal so that the reflections become real in the writing is also a sign that the authors expect us to take this process seriously.

The addition of an introduction to the Season of Creation is excellent. While the focus remains on the Sunday readings, we are guided through Pope Francis' challenge to "a profound interior conversion" (pg. 129).

The sheer diversity of the quotes offered is delightful, and I found myself looking up authors or returning to old favourite texts days after reading.

Third, that two women wrote this series of reflections on the Sunday readings should be no surprise. All over the world, women break open scripture – in classrooms, colleges, families, liturgies, or life itself.

Who can hear the words "This is my body broken for you" and not think of a mother's love in birthing, feeding and holding her baby?

We know that any theology that only hears the understanding and experiences of half of our population is missing out on so much of what God has to share with us.

REALITY NOVEMBER ����

Tríona Doherty

Jane Mellett

The Deep End: A journey with the Sunday Gospels in the Year of Luke

by Jane Mellett and Triona Doherty Messenger Publications, 2021 Paperback, 144 pages, €14.99 ISBN- 978-1788125062

We know the importance of hearing women's perspectives, and we also know how rare it is to hear their voices in published scripture notes. I know Jane's and Triona's focus is on sacred scripture, not on gender. Still, their lived experience as female pastoral theologians is significant, and it offers insight for many of us into new perspectives on Luke's Gospel.

Triona and Jane have taken a risk in putting their lived experience, passion, and faith out in public in this honest and joyful way, and I think it deserves our appreciation and respect. Here is an opportunity to enjoy intelligent and challenging commentary, to learn from new writers and ancient stories, to sit at the feet of two wise disciples who have journeyed across the year for us and who now invite us to put our whole selves out into the deep.

I recommend this book to families and parishes, to the gentle seeker and the well-read. I hope it is the first of many such texts from Jane and Triona, and that it supports the reader in the very personal journey of finding God and knowing that God desires to find us too (James Martin SJ, pg. 81).

COMM E N T REALITY CHECK PETER McVERRY SJ

THE VIEW FROM THE TOP

THE MAJORITY OF DECISION-MAKERS IN IRELAND HAVE NO PASSION FOR, OR INTEREST IN, REAL CHANGE

"But,

what you don't understand is..."

Social activists hear this all the time from decision-makers.

"The poor you will always have with you," said Jesus. Perhaps he was thinking of Ireland! Why can a wealthy country like Ireland not abolish poverty? We know who the poor are: more than 600,000 people in Ireland are living in consistent poverty, about 100,000 of whom are children; 98,000 working people on low incomes, about 78,000 people over the age of 65, and 13 per cent of people in rented accommodation (figures are from the Central Statistics Office, Household Survey in October 2020.) And we have a library of reports with recommendations to reduce and eliminate poverty.

We know that increasing welfare rates significantly lower the numbers in poverty, as does increasing the minimum wage, as does increasing child welfare payments, and introducing refundable tax credits for those on low incomes.

So why do we make so little headway in reducing poverty?

Imagine someone who lives in a large house. They have rented the basement to a family. The house owner pulls back the curtains of their bedroom on the top floor on a lovely sunny morning. The sun shines in, and they see the back garden with its freshly cut grass, the birds looking for worms and the multicoloured flowers swaying in the breeze.

The majority of decision-makers have well-paid, pensionable jobs, live in nice houses in nice parts of town, have health insurance, and their children are going (or will go) to third-level education.

Society is, by and large, meeting their needs. Most of them have no passion for change or for facing the resistance they would meet. And so the response to change is often, "But what you don't understand is…"

Donogh O'Malley

The family in the basement also pulls back the curtains of their bedroom on the same day.

All they see is the whitewashed wall of the outside toilet. The sun cannot get in, they cannot see the flowers or the birds, and the toilet obstructs their access into the garden.

They ask the owner to remove the toilet so as to improve the quality of their lives. The owner refuses. They plead with him that the dark flat is so depressing. He tells them he understands what they want, "but what you don't understand is that it would be expensive to remove it and I can't afford it." So the basement family offers to make a contribution to the cost. He replies, "What you don't understand is that the people who enjoy sitting out in the back garden on a sunny day need the outside toilet." So they offer to leave their door

open so that they could use the toilet in the basement flat. The owner replies, "What you don't understand is that when I come to sell the house, the outside toilet will increase the value of the house."

NEGATIVE IMPACT Any change to the social and economic structures of a society will benefit some but impact others negatively. For example, increases in welfare payments may require extra taxation on others. Many of those impacted negatively, like the owner of the house above, will resist change.

Ireland will never have a health system based on need, not money, as it would disadvantage those who can afford health insurance.

Many object to social or affordable housing being built near them, as they fear it may reduce the value of their own home.

DONOGH O'MALLEY In The Joy of the Gospel, Pope Francis prays, "I beg the Lord to grant us politicians who are genuinely disturbed by the state of society, the people, the lives of the poor" (No. 205).

One such politician was Donogh O'Malley, who, as Minister for Education, announced, in 1967, that second-level education up to Intermediate level would be free. He knew that if he consulted the Cabinet in advance, they would reject the idea. So he announced it to the media when the Dáil was in recess. Many of his cabinet colleagues, especially the Minister for Finance, were furious. But the decision was so popular they were unable to reverse it. We need more decision-makers like Donogh O'Malley.

For more information or to support the Peter McVerry Trust: www.pmvtrust.ie info@pmvtrust.ie +353 (0)1 823 0776

45

GOD’S WORD THIS MONTH FROM A GENEROUS HEART Throughout his ministry, NOVEMBER Jesus goes to the heart of the matter, seeing b e y o n d p e o p l e ’s behaviour into the 32ND SUNDAY IN motivation of their ORDINARY TIME heart. In today’s Gospel, the elaborate piety of the scribes and Pharisees does not convince him because it is all for show. But what the

07

BE ON YOUR TOES of us have seen NOVEMBER Most him or her at one time or another – the person on the busy shopping street carrying a banner 33RD SUNDAY IN that proclaims, ‘The ORDINARY TIME end is nigh! Repent and believe the good news!’

The truth, as Jesus tells us today, is that we do not know when the end is coming, and so we need always to be ready. Jesus doesn’t tell us this to make us feel frightened or anxious or guilt-ridden. Rather he wants to keep us on our toes. He is challenging us to think about our lives, to look constantly at our relationship with God and with our brothers and sisters. He is prodding us to make sure that how we live is the right way to live, that what we do is the right thing to do, so that we won’t be caught off our guard on that day when he comes to take us to our eternal home.

14

46

Today’s Readings Dn 12:1-3; Ps 15: Heb 10:11-14.18; Mk 13:24-32

REALITY NOVEMBER ����

widow does when she puts her two small coins in the treasury is genuine: it is done for God. The Pharisees and the widow were worlds apart in their religious practice and understanding of God. The religion of the Pharisees served them, and them alone, whereas the widow sought to serve God. It is clear that Jesus judges not only actions but attitudes; not only outward behaviour but what goes on in the human heart. He points

out the contrast between self-serving religion and selfless generosity. His judgement is harsh. He wishes to save the Pharisees from themselves, and the generous widow is a model of how things could, and should, be.

She is a model for us all.

Today’s Readings 1 Kg 17:10-16; Ps 145; Heb 9:24-28; Mk 12:38-44

THE REALITY CROSSWORD NUMBER � NOVEMBER ����

THE SERVANT KING This is a tremendous feast with which to end the liturgical year because it turns upside down all those pre-conceived ideas we have about hierarchy, monarchy and what it means to be in authority. As FEAST OF we hear in today’s Gospel, even Pilate is confused.

CHRIST THE KING His idea of kingship is of an all-powerful ruler, controller and dictator. Jesus makes it clear he is not that kind of king. He has not come to ‘lord’ it over people. He is not interested in an earthly type of kingdom. His kingdom is entirely different – it is not of this world.

Jesus isn’t just talking about a different place. He is talking about a different way of living, that is not about control and power but love and service. Jesus’ power comes from God and it is a power that builds people up rather than diminishes them. He doesn’t deny that he is a king but it is not the word he would use. The only thing that matters to him is truth and that truth is God. Those who belong to God listen to the voice of Jesus, the servant king, and follow his example.

NOVEMBER

21

SOLUTIONS CROSSWORD No. 7 ACROSS: 1. Scrimp, 5. Relish, 10. Raccoon, 11. Borscht, 12. Evil, 13. Jacob, 15. Luke, 17. Shy, 19.

Toting, 21. Racism, 22. Lourdes, 23. Soiled, 25. Xanadu, 28. ATM, 30. Inca, 31. Dryad, 32. Coup, 35.

Tunisia, 36. Auditor, 37. Medusa, 38. Armies.

DOWN: 2. Cyclist, 3. Icon, 4. Pandas, 5. Rob Roy, 6. Lore, 7. Succubi, 8. Priest, 9. Stream, 14.

Charity, 16. Inlet, 18. Masai, 20. God, 21. Rex, 23. Saints, 24. Incense, 26. Apostle, 27. Uppers, 28.

Armada, 29. Masada, 33. Esau, 34. Adam.

Winner of Crossword No. � Brede Murphy, Inistioge, Co. Kilkenny.

Today’s Readings Dn 7:13-14; Ps 92; Rv 1:5-8; Jn 18:33-37

STAY AWAKE Events in the world can alert us to the activity of NOVEMBER God – or they can prove a huge distraction. Jesus speaks of signs that the kingdom is near at hand, the kingdom that will bring liberation to all those who are captives. He stresses the importance of FIRST SUNDAY being attentive to the signs that the kingdom is OF ADVENT near. There can be no precise prediction when all the events foretold will take place, so attentiveness must be second nature. Whatever happens, whenever it happens, the disciple must be prepared.

For Jesus, attentiveness is not simply waiting idly for something to occur. Attentiveness is opportunity for prayer and preparation. The disciple knows that the glory of the Lord is just around the corner and lives in expectation, knowing that the present order will pass and the new order will take its place. When all comes to pass that is to come to pass, the attentive disciple will not be taken by surprise.

28

ACROSS 1. A senior member of the Christian clergy. (6) 5. Assert that one no longer holds an heretical opinion. (6) 10. The common patriarch of Christianity, Judaism and Islam. (7) 11. A member of the highest Hindu caste. (7) 12. Slightly open. (4) 13. He wrestled God. (5) 15. He was the first murder victim. (4) 17. Cunning and deceitful. (3) 19. Soak up liquid. (6) 21. Sleeveless jacket, consisting of front and back pieces with a hole for the head. (6) 22. A period of group withdrawal for prayer and meditation. (7) 23. He was the mighty hunter in the Bible. (6) 25. This counter measures radiation. (6) 28. Frozen water. (3) 30. A fixed regular payment for work. (4) 31. This Hieronymous painted 'The Garden of Earthly Delights.' (5) 32. Full of intense interest or excitement. (4) 35. Female folklore demon which seduces men. (7) 36. Retire a country in the Horn of Africa. (7) 37. A recess in the wall of a room or garden.

(6) 38. In poor health. (6)

DOWN 2. Makes progress on iron ads. (7) 3. Expression used to indicate amusement or derision. (2-2) 4. Fertile South American lowlands. (6) 5. Historical Scottish outlaw and folk hero. (3,3) 6. Study intensively for a short time before an exam. (4) 7. This country was formerly known as South West Africa. (7) 8. A Spanish tomorrow. (6) 9. Leaned toward a fish in hand. (6) 14. Priests. (7) 16. A mistake (5) 18. This bread is soon forgotten. (5) 20. Piece of furniture for sleep. (3) 21. Identifying label. (3) 23. The most recent. (6) 24. Delightful in a way that seems removed from normal life. (7) 26. This Yuri was the first man in space. (7) 27. Untidy and not similar or organised. (6) 28. Stinging element commonly used to prevent infection. (6) 29. Skin condition. (6) 33. Ancient Roman goddess, she may have had a paycock. (4) 34. Building for grinding grain into flour. (4)

Entry Form for Crossword No.�, November ���� Name:

Today’s Readings Jr 33:14-16; Ps 24; 1 Thess 3:12-4:2; Lk 21:25-28.34-36

Address: Telephone:

All entries must reach us by Tuesday, November 30, 2021 One €35 prize is offered for the first correct solutions opened. The Editor’s decision on all matters concerning this competition will be final. Do not include correspondence on any other subject with your entry which should be addressed to: Reality Crossword No.9, Redemptorist Communications, St Joseph's Monastery, Dundalk, County Louth A91 F3FC