COMMENT
FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS CARMEL WYNNE
WHY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS FAIL
THE RATIONAL PART OF OUR BRAIN USUALLY WANTS SOMETHING DIFFERENT FROM THE EMOTIONAL PART
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he beginning of a new year is the time for many of us to make plans to shed the weight gained over Christmas. But people who believe that willpower and self-control are all that is needed to change habitual eating patterns will not reach their weight goals. Psychologists have discovered that self-control is an exhaustible resource. It's not unlike bench presses. The first one is easy when your muscles are fresh. But with each additional repetition, your muscles get more exhausted until you can't lift the bar. Willpower is a finite resource. Resisting the temptation to eat chocolates can use it up. Over the last 30 years, developments in neuroscience have revolutionised our understanding of the brain. People don't stay on diets because, when it comes to changing behaviour, we all act as if we are slightly schizophrenic. The rational part of our brain usually wants something very different to the emotional part. For example, Eva was determined to do something about her weight but faced a huge temptation when she saw the last mince pies on the plate. Her rational part said, "Don't, you're looking at a calorie bomb." Her emotional side encouraged her, "It's a sin to let it go to waste. Why not use up the last of the brandy butter too?" Her internal dialogue was exhausting. One part of her said, "You'll regret it if you do." The other part said, "You'll regret it if you don't."
you're caught up in a tug of war. Haidt explains that when our best efforts to stay focused on the goal fail, it's because the rider can't keep the elephant on the road for long enough to reach the desired destination.
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ost of us are familiar with the internal conflict when one part of us wants to do something, and the other part doesn't like doing it. The conventional wisdom in psychology is that the brain has two independent systems at work at all times. The rational side deliberates, analyses and looks to the future. The emotional side looks for the instant gratification of eating the mince pies over the long-term goal of coming down a dress size. Most of us treasure those last few minutes in bed in the morning after the alarm goes off. If our diets didn't work in the past, the goal for the new year might be to burn off calories by making an exercise plan. The logical part plans to get up at 6.30 am to allow plenty of time for a jog before going to work. However, waking up in the dark of a freezing cold morning, our emotional part desires nothing in the world so much as a few more minutes cuddling under the duvet in a warm bed. If we choose the quick payoff
REALITY JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2022
of an extra couple of minutes in bed over the long-term payoff of a slimmer and healthier body, our exercise plan is bound to fail. In his book, The Happiness Hypothesis, psychologist John Haidt, from the University of Virginia, compares our emotional side to an elephant and our rational side to its rider. The rider seems to be in charge when he holds the reins, but if the six-ton elephant and the rider disagree about which way to go, the elephant wins. The elephant's hunger for instant gratification is the opposite of the rider's strength to plan for the future. The problem when the rider and elephant have different mindsets about which way to go is the rider can only tug on the reins hard enough to make the elephant submit for a short time. He won't succeed in the longer term because the rider will simply get exhausted in a tug of war with the elephant. If your rational side is motivated to change behaviour, but your emotional side is not ready,
hen we feel disheartened and think that our best efforts are not good enough, it's probably because our willpower to resist impulses is depleted and our self-control is exhausted. More than 50 per cent of people make new year's resolutions to lose weight or exercise more. Virtually every study tells us that around 80 per cent of these resolutions will be abandoned by February, possibly by people who are exhausted from trying too hard. If you're mentally and emotionally ready to make a short-term sacrifice (leave the mince pies) for a long-term goal (feeling slimmer and healthy), you'll feel energised by success. When you give in to temptation, don't take that to mean that you've failed. Let success build on success, and you will be pleasantly surprised at how quickly you will succeed in making changes easily. As poet and author Dr Maya Angelou said, "When you know better, you do better."
Carmel Wynne is a life coach, crossprofessional supervisor and author based in Dublin. For more information, visit www. carmelwynne.org
