Reality November 2017 by Redemptorist Communications

BUCKET LIST BABY

CREMATION

ASHES TO ASHES

CHANGING ATTITUDES

HOW IRISH FUNERALS ARE CHANGING

NOVEMBER 2017

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Real it

SHANE MICHAEL HALEY

Informing, Inspiring, Challenging Today’s Catholic

THE FINAL JOURNEY:

PR AYING OUR GOODBYES

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Reality

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ONE MAN, ONE GOD The Peace Ministry of Fr Alec Reid C.Ss.R. By Martin McKeever C.Ss.R. Fr Alec Reid made an extraordinary contribution to the Northern Ireland peace process. As a member of the Clonard community for over forty years, Fr Alec’s peace ministry emerged from a religious community deeply rooted in west Belfast. Fr Alec saw himself as a servant of Christ in a situation of political conflict. He felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to reach out and work for peace. His contribution to peace in Ireland is immeasurable, and there would not have been a peace process without his hard work and determination. This unique book by Fr Martin McKeever C.Ss.R. explores the extraordinary work of this good and simple priest.

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IN THIS MONTH’S ISSUE FEATURES 12 ASHES TO ASHES: CHANGING FUNERAL PATTERNS IN IRELAND The traditional Irish funeral is legendary, but there are signs that the style is changing By Tríona Doherty

19 PRAYING OUR GOODBYES The funeral liturgy gives us words and ceremonies that help us to grieve and find a way forward By Sarah Adams

22 CATHOLICS AND CREMATION The number of cremations in Ireland is on the rise By Fr Brendan McConvery CSsR

25 LIVING IN MEMORY A PHOTO ESSAY

Daily life in the Redemptoristine Monastery of St Alphonsus By The Sisters of the Most Holy Redeemer

28 THE RICH YOUNG MAN LOOKS BACK In the closing years of his life, he looks back on the day he declined the call of Jesus. By Fr George Wadding CSsR

32 ST GERARD BEATS THE COMMUNISTS St Gerard and the Italian Election of 1948

34 SHANE MICHAEL THE "BUCKET LIST" BABY How Jenna and Dan prepared for the birth of the baby they were told would die soon after birth. By Jenna Haley

OPINION

REGULARS

11 BRENDAN McCONVERY

04 REALITY BITES

38 ANTHONY DE MELLO’S FOUR STAGES OF PRAYER

18 DAVID O'DONOGHUE

07 POPE MONITOR

31 CARMEL WYNNE

08 FEAST OF THE MONTH

How an Indian Jesuit who guided people along fresh and traditional pathways to God By Carmel Wynne

44 PETER McVERRY SJ

09 REFLECTIONS 41 UNDER THE MICROSCOPE 42 TRÓCAIRE 45 GOD’S WORD

REALITY BITES IRISH CHURCH IN ROME GIVEN TO THE AMERICANS ROME

END OF AN ERA

St Patrick's in Rome

The Irish Augustinians have handed over their Church of St Patrick in Rome to the Paulist Fathers for use as the American Church in the Eternal City. The Paulists had been searching for a replacement when the Cistercian sisters of Santa Susanna wanted to withdraw their church from the Americans. A recent Augustinian chapter addressed the question of withdrawing from several of their communities in view of their declining numbers. Handing over St Patrick’s seemed like an ideal solution, as it will remain a centre for English language liturgy, and the Irish will continue to be welcome. It ends, however, a historic relationship between the Irish Augustinians and Rome that goes back to Penal times. Their first church, St Matthew on the Via Merulana, was where the icon of Our Lady of Perpetual Help was first exposed for veneration. When it was destroyed by the French in 1798, they moved to Santa Maria in Posterula, taking the icon with them: from there, it was passed on to the Redemptorists, now living close to the site of St Matthew’s. They moved to the present site near the fashionable Via Veneto in 1911. The first members of the Paulist Congregation were Redemptorists, who left the largely German-speaking Redemptorists, led by Fr Isaac Hecker (1819-1888), to work among English-speaking Americans. Apart from the Irish College, there is still an Irish Franciscan presence in St Isidore’s and a Dominican one in San Clemente. All three provide regular Masses in English. REALITY NOVEMBER 2017

SEARCHING FOR A CARDINAL LONDON

LOOKING FOR A MORE 'MODERATE' LEADER

The British government's efforts to influence the Vatican's choice of a new Archbishop of Armagh following the sudden death of Cardinal Tomás Ó Fiaich in May 1990 have come to light in confidential files released in August by the Public Record Office. In a memo dated June 5, 1990, Brian Blackwell, a senior Northern Ireland Office civil servant, raised the issue of approaching the Holy See "to register our interest in an element of consultation over the appointment of a successor to Cardinal Ó CARDINAL TOMÁS Ó FIAICH Fiaich". During discussions between the British Ambassador to the Holy See and Archbishop Emmanuel Gerada, the Nuncio to Ireland, in Rome on May 21, 1990, the nuncio raised the question of the search for a new archbishop. He assured the ambassador that all three names he was required to put forward for nomination would be people he knew to be well regarded by the British government and that Bishops Edward Daly (Derry) and Cathal Daly (Down and Connor) were likely to appear on the list. Mr Blackwell considered it fortunate that the Nuncio took such a keen interest in Northern affairs, and "obviously takes on board the views of the more moderate leaders of the Catholic community". This may be a veiled criticism of Cardinal Ó Fiaich, as well as of Gerada’s predecessor, Archbishop Gaetano Alibrandi, who was regarded in some circles as being too favourable to Republicans. Bishop Cathal Daly was appointed to Armagh in November 1990, and created a cardinal the following year.

PRIESTS WHO FATHER CHILDREN WHILE IN MINISTRY The Irish Bishops conference has published guidelines regarding priests who fathered children while still engaged in priestly ministry. The guidelines state that, when ordained to the diaconate, priests promise to live a life of celibacy dedicated to Christ and to pastoral ministry in the church. If contrary to this obligation, however, a priest fathers a child, the child’s wellbeing must be his first consideration and practical arrangements regarding the child and their mother must be made. Both parents have a fundamental

right to make their own decisions regarding the care of their newborn child. In terms of justice and in love, the needs of the child should be given the first consideration by the father with regard to his personal, legal, moral and financial responsibilities. His bishop or religious superior should help him address these responsibilities. While each situation is unique, decisions should be made in consultation with the mother and in dialogue with his superiors to fulfil his obligations under canon and civil law.

N E WS

FRANCISCAN STATISTICS ROME

SIGN OF THE TIMES

At the beginning of 2016, the Franciscans (OFM, not including Capuchins or Conventuals) had a membership of 13,507 friars. Although still one of the largest orders of men, it is just about half of the 26,300 friars the order had in 1960. In those days, the largest number of friars was in the provinces of Western Europe and North America, the regions hardest hit in the meantime by increasing secularisation and smaller family sizes. These provinces are now in decline and aging, with the majority of their members over the age of 65. Then the United States had 3,600 friars; today it

Pope Francis poses with the superiors of the four main men’s branches of the Franciscan family during a meeting at the Vatican

has 1,100. It has led to a regrouping of forces: six Spanish provinces, for example, combined to form a new “Immaculate Conception Province” making it the second largest unit in the order. Only two regions reported gains over the course of 2015: Africa and the Middle East, with 1,221 friars (up 60), and Asia and Oceania, with 1,467

PRIEST HOSTAGE RELEASED VATICAN CITY

SUFFERINGS OFFERED UP FOR POPE AND CHURCH

Salesian Father Tom Uzhunnalil as captive and meeting Pope Francis at the Vatican

Just one day after being released following 18 months of captivity, the Indian priest Fr Tom Uzhunnalil met Pope Francis and told him that throughout his time as a prisoner, he offered his suffering for the pope and the church. A Salesian missionary, Fr Uzhunnalil was kidnapped March 4, 2016, during an attack on a Missionaries of Charity home in Aden, Yemen, that left 16 people dead, including four Sisters. Rumours initially spread that he was to be crucified on Good Friday, but his captors released numerous photos and videos

depicting him as thin and with an overgrown beard, pleading for help and for his release, saying that his health was deteriorating and he was in need of hospital treatment. When he arrived at the Salesian community house, his first request was to pray in the chapel, and to celebrate Mass which he had not been allowed to do during his captivity. He was advised not to say Mass because a medical examination had been arranged, but instead he took the opportunity to go to confession before the medical staff arrived.

(up 44). Eastern Europe remains stable. There are in the whole order 1,481 junior professed and 417 novices. Italy is still the most Franciscan nation with 1,980 friars; the US is second with 1,111, followed by Poland with 1,007, Mexico 980, and Brazil 908. The Irish Province, which now includes Great Britain, has 182 members.

IRAQI CHRISTIANS RETURNING HOME Three years after being forced out of their towns and v i l l a g e s b y th e extremist group Daesh (ISIS), Iraqi Archbishop Bashar Warda C h r i s t i a n s h av e begun to return back to their home in the Nineveh Plains.The charity, Aid to the Church in Need, provided them with essential food, medicine and shelter, while they lived as a displaced community in Kurdish northern Iraq. Chaldean rite Archbishop Bashar Warda of Erbil, a Redemptorist who made his noviciate in Dundalk, has visited the UK recently to highlight the plight of his people. While there, he met with senior government officials and church leaders. He sought to spell out the urgent need for ongoing aid for more than 100,000 displaced people and also to raise funds to rebuild 13,000 Christian houses in the Nineveh Plains destroyed by the extremists. He stressed: “This is a decisive historical moment. If we now miss the opportunity to help the Christians return to their homes on the Plains of Nineveh, these families might well decide to leave Iraq forever.” continued on page 6

REALITY BITES BELFAST REDEMPTORISTS AND THE HURRICANES

Church of St. Paul & St. Anne, served by the Redemptorists of Belfast, Dominica

Readers of Reality will know the Redemptorist churches of Clonard and St Gerard in Belfast, Northern Ireland. Fewer will have heard of St Clement’s Community, Belfast, Dominica in the Caribbean. Founded by Belgian Redemptorists, it is currently part of the Province of Baltimore. The island was in the path of the recent hurricanes, and the community residence and the five churches were severely damaged. The superior sent this message to his provincial: “We are alive in Belfast but our community house suffered a lot of damage to a great section of the roof on the northern side of the building. Part of the porch is gone, ripping off the roof that leads to the community common areas, the garage and one vehicle was badly damaged by a falling wall. The chapel and library lost windows, so they were flooded. With the amount of rain and soaking, the furniture is falling apart, but thank God we are alive. Thanks again but I don't want to experience another hurricane like this, and believe me this, my first in my 65 years of life, it is an experience I will never forget! Of our five churches in St. Ann's parish, only two are usable: two are destroyed and cannot be used, and a third, the parish church has a lot of damage but will cost a lot to repair for use in the future. The presbytery has minimal damage and can be used with repairs. 75 to 80 per cent of the homes are damaged.” Belfast, Dominica, takes its name from the trading links between the Irish city and the Caribbean that stretch back to the 18th century when Belfast was a centre for the slave trade, and some Belfast merchants owned sugar plantations named after their hometown.

THE NUN WITH THE CHAINSAW The massive clean-up after Hurricane Irma in Florida and its neighbouring states had an unlikely helper. Sister Margaret Ann, a Carmelite sister of the Sacred Heart and head of Archbishop Coleman F. Carroll High School in Miami, was spotted at work by an off-duty officer of the Miami-Dade Police Department. Sister Margaret Ann was wielding a chainsaw to clear a road blocked by a fallen tree. ”I saw somebody spin in the mud and almost go into a wall, going off the road. There was a need, I had the means — so I wanted to help out," Sr Margaret Ann she said. She found chainsaws in a closet in the school and set to work. The police officer videoed her and her chainsaw, and the video began to circulate at home and abroad, as symbolic of the determination of the locals to cope with the crisis. Some viewers noted that her religious habit did not make it easy for her to use the chainsaw, but Sister simply said she was trying to live up to a principle that the Catholic school inculcated into its students: "Do what you can to help." REALITY NOVEMBER 2017

VERA DUCKWORTH – RIP Liz as Vera Duckworth

Liz Dawn

Liz Dawn, the actress who played the popular Coronation Street character, Vera Duckworth, died on September 25 last after a long illness. Born Sylvia Butterfield in Leeds, she was born and raised in a working class Catholic family. She remained proud of her upbringing, and in an interview at the time of the papal visit to England, she said, “My faith means everything to me. The feeling it gives me is everything. The feeling of prayer is a comfort like no other. I received an MBE for charity work and it was an honour to be able to raise money for worthy causes… and I am sure it was because I was raised in the faith. To care about others is a gift from God. In my heart I’ve always felt blessed and that each of my babies was a gift from God. I’ve never doubted my faith. I’ve always felt God’s presence in my heart. Very especially I’ve always felt my children are a gift from God and after each child my heart warmed. God’s given me a good life. This is how God has spoken to my heart.”

N E WS

POPE MONITOR KEEPING UP WITH POPE FRANCIS POPE’S SURPRISE VISIT TO ROME REHABILITATION CENTRE

Pope Francis greets people during a visit at the Santa Lucia Foundation rehabilitation centre in Rome

Continuing his custom of unofficial visits to places where the ordinary pastoral life of the church goes on, especially in the area of the corporal and spiritual works of mercy, Pope Francis visited a rehabilitation centre

for people with neurological disorders or nerve damage. The usual time for such visits is Friday afternoon, when the pope’s schedule is comparatively free. According to the Vatican press office, the pope arrived at the

Santa Lucia Foundation at 4pm on September 22. He began by visiting the ward for the rehabilitation of children with neurological diseases. He watched some of the children doing their exercises and chatted with their

parents. He then visited a ward for young adults, aged 15 to 25, who are completely or almost completely paralysed. Many of these young people lost the use of their arms and legs after being in car accidents.

MEETING YOUNG PEOPLE FOR SYNOD

PRAYING FOR THOSE IN POWER

At the conclusion of his General Audience on the Feast of St Francis, October 4, Pope Francis announced that, from March 19 to 24, 2018, the General Secretariat of the Synod of Bishops will convene a pre-synodal meeting with invited young people from different parts of the world. It will include young Catholics as well as young people from different Christian denominations and other religions, and even those who do not consider themselves as believers. This will be part of the preparation for the next General Assembly of the Synod of Bishops, which will have as its theme “Young People, Faith and Vocation Discernment” and will take place in October 2018. “The church wants to listen to the voice, the sensitivity, of faith and also the doubts and criticisms of young people,” the pope said, and the conclusions of the March meeting will be transmitted to the Synod Fathers.”

Take five minutes today to reflect on the duty to pray for rulers, requested Pope Francis during the morning Mass at his Santa Marta chapel on September 18. “It’s a sin not to pray for rulers,” he warned. The Holy Father was commenting on the readings of day where Saint Paul recommends “supplications, prayers … for kings and all who are in high positions” (1 Timothy 2:1-8) and where a Roman centurion implores Jesus to cure his slave (Luke 7:1-10). This centurion “felt the need to pray” because “he was aware that he was not the master of everything, that he was not the last resort”. On the contrary, a person who “does not pray, shuts themselves off from the world, that is a circle they cannot get out of and they become closed in on themselves". A ruler should remember “that there is another who has more power than he has. Who has more power than a ruler? The people who gave him the power, and God from whom the power comes through the people. When a ruler has this consciousness of subordination, he prays.” People must pray for all rulers without exception, Pope Francis stressed. We cannot say, “’No, I didn’t vote for him . . . let him do what he wants.’ No, we can’t leave rulers alone; we must accompany them with prayer. Christians must pray for rulers.” To the objection, “But Father, how can one pray for one who’s done so many bad things?” he replied: "He has even greater need. Pray, do penance for the ruler."

FEAST OF THE MONTH Reality ST FERGAL OF SALZBURG

November 27th

St Fergal (Virgilius) first enters the pages of history as abbot of Aghaboe in Laois. From there he went “for love of Christ” to the Continent, where he spent the next 40 years until his death in 784. Almost inevitably, because oftentimes there are Irish saints of the same name in the calendar, there is a slight hesitancy about identifying Fergal, bishop of Salzburg with the erstwhile abbot of Aghaboe. However, Alcuin of York, head of Charlemagne’s Imperial School in Aachen, and a contemporary of Fergal, puts his Irish origin beyond doubt. The saint and scholar, together with some companions, arrived in France about the year 741, when Pepin the Short, father of Charlemagne, ruled the Franks. Fergal spent a couple of years at the court of Pepin, where his holiness, learning and intellectual abilities were recognised and appreciated. In 743, Pepin furnished Fergal with letters of the highest commendation, and sent him on a delicate mission to the court of Duke Odilo of Bavaria. I say ‘delicate’ because shortly beforehand, Pepin had put down an insurrection led by the same Duke. On his arrival, the Irishman made such an immediate and favourable impression on Odilo that it put the nose of St Boniface out of joint. Just about that time John, bishop of Salzburg, died, and Fergal was asked to take charge of the diocese although he was not a bishop. Nevertheless, like any Irish abbot of his day, he undertook the task, and when necessary, called on the services of a bishop for confirmations and ordinations. Why he himself was not made bishop is put down in the Lives of the Saints to the humility of the man. It is more likely that St Boniface did not want this upstart from Ireland formally appointed. In running his wild and largely un-evangelised diocese, Fergal and his companions were undaunted in winning people for Christ among the half-Christianised Bavarians and the largely pagan population of the area known as Carinthia. The extensive diocese extended through South Germany, Upper Austria and as far as the river Drava and the Hungarian border. The Irishmen and their helpers converted Slavs and Teutons, founded churches and monasteries, and Fergal personally baptised two Dukes of Carinthia. And it was in Fergal’s day, 774 to be exact, that Bavaria issued its first policy on the establishment of schools. The zeal of the Irishmen got them into trouble more than once. With new converts, considerable goodwill is not always matched with a similar level of education. It happened that an ill-instructed priest was in the habit of baptising people while using an imperfect formula. St Boniface insisted that they all be baptised again according to the book. Fergal disagreed. The facts were reported to Rome, and Pope Zachary came down in favour of the Irishman and instructed Boniface that the repetition of the ceremony was not necessary. This news did not go down well with the archbishop of Mainz, but he bided his time. When the opportune time came, Boniface moved against the Irishman once more. This time he sent an emissary to the pope with four serious charges against the abbot of St Peter’s monastery. In response, the pope said that he needed proof of some of the charges; others he could demonstrate were groundless, but the main charge, which he took very seriously, accused Fergal of heresy. Writing to St Boniface on May 1, 748, Pope Zachary said that if Fergal be convicted of having professed the perverse doctrine ‘that there are another world and other men under the earth, and another sun and moon,’ let him be excommunicated. This sounds horribly like telling fairy stories to Pope Zachary, but in fact it was a garbled version of Fergal-the-geographer’s claim to the existence of the antipodes. Fergal was summoned to Rome for trial, and in the meantime Boniface was urged to be patient. Well, no more was heard from Rome. Boniface was mugged and murdered in a back-street robbery, and soon afterwards Fergal became bishop of Salzburg. For us struggling sinners, it is comforting to know that even the saints and martyrs have their disagreements. John J O’Riordan CSsR REALITY NOVEMBER 2017

Volume 82. No. 9 November 2017 A Redemptorist Publication ISSN 0034-0960 Published by The Irish Redemptorists, Unit A6, Santry Business Park, Swords Road, Dublin 09 X651 Tel: 00353 (0)1 4922488 Web: www.redcoms.org Email: sales@redcoms.org (With permission of C.Ss.R.)

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REFLECTIONS The greatest challenge of the day is: how to bring about a revolution of the heart, a revolution which has to start with each one of us? DOROTHY DAY

Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can. JOHN WESLEY

Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered. And the process is continuing day by day and minute by minute. History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the Party is always right.

Pat Fox has it on his hurl and is motoring well now, but here comes Joe Rabbitte hot on his tail… I’ve seen it all now, a Rabbitte chasing a Fox around Croke Park!

Do not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbour: act as if you did and you will presently come to love them.

MICHEÁL Ó MUIRCHEARTAIGH

I don't have ugly ducklings turning into swans in my stories. I have ugly ducklings turn into confident ducks.

If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed. ADMIRAL WILLIAM MCRAVEN

When we consider that women are treated as property it is degrading to women that we should treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit. ELIZABETH CADY STANTON

To know a person is far more than to know facts about that person. To know a person is essentially to love him or her; there can be no true awareness of other persons without mutual love. We do not have any genuine knowledge of those whom we hate. KALLISTOS WARE

GEORGE ORWELL

Monkeys and apes have the ability to speak, but keep silent to avoid being put to work.

We have all known the long loneliness and we have learned that the only solution is love and that love comes with community.

RENÉ DESCARTES

DOROTHY DAY

If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life. ABRAHAM MASLOW

From silly devotions, and sour-faced saints, good Lord, deliver us. ST TERESA OF AVILA

C S LEWIS

MAEVE BINCHY

Having friends around for a pleasant evening is one of life's most cherished joys as far as I am concerned. But when those with me are fellow believers, how much greater that joy is, for we know that it's rekindled, one day in eternity. JAMES STEWART

Sometimes my worst day - one filled with pain and suffering in the eyes of God, is my best day if I've born it cheerfully and I've born it with love. MOTHER ANGELICA

What is the basic difference between saying 'I know that God exists' and saying 'I know that love exists'? METROPOLITAN ANTHONY BLOOM

At the moment of death I hope to be surprised. IVAN ILLICH

This Christmas

from Redemptorist Communications 6 Beautiful designs for Christmas

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EDI TO R I A L UP FRONT BRENDAN McCONVERY CSsR

A GOOD DEATH

once watched a clip from an American soap. A fashionable woman in elegant black walked into a cemetery along with a young man wearing a dark suit and sunglasses. It was clear they were attending a Mafia funeral. She leaned over to him and said softly: “You got to hand it to the Catholics: they do death better than anyone I know.” If Catholics do wakes and funerals well, is it because they have learned to take death in their stride, as something that is as natural to life as its beginning? Many of us, as children, learned to say as part of our daily prayer, “Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I give you my heart and my soul. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, assist me in my last agony. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, may I breathe forth my soul in peace with you, Amen,” and we did not think it morbid to pray for a good death. There was a natural flow from the end of life to the burial. Children were introduced early to the rituals of death and mourning. It was a rite of passage for a teenage boy to be invited to ‘take a lift’ of the coffin at the funeral of a neighbour or family member. A friend of mine is a chaplain in an Irish university. She told me that recently she and her chaplaincy colleagues from other Christian communities have had to compile a “cheat sheet” to help students attending funerals, either of fellow students who had died tragically or of their own close relatives and friends. It is now common for well-educated young people never to have been to a funeral before they were in their late teens or early twenties, and so never to have learned the rituals and courtesies of death - what to do or say on meeting the bereaved, how to behave at a funeral in a church, cemetery or crematorium. The month of November is, by tradition, a time for remembering the dead. It may be the end of autumn and the beginning of winter that calls to mind those who have

gone before us. Remembering the dead can bring joy and happy memories, as well as recalling sadness and loss. One of the most poignant passages in early Christian writing is St Augustine’s account of the death of his mother Monica. Her health has begun to fail, so Augustine and his younger brother were anxious to get her home from Rome to North Africa to die and be buried among her own. One day in their hired lodgings at Ostia, she took a bad turn: she recovered a few minutes later and “looking intently at us, dumb in our grief, she said, ‘Here in this place shall you bury your mother.’ I was silent, and held back my tears; but my brother said that he would prefer to see her die in her own country and not abroad. She heard him, but fixed him with her eye and an anxious countenance, because he savoured of such earthly concerns. She then looked me and said, ‘Listen to him!’ Then she said to us both: ‘Lay this body anywhere, and do not let the care of it be a trouble to you at all. Only this I ask: that you will remember me at the Lord's altar, wherever you are.’ Having expressed her wish in such words as she could, she fell silent, in heavy pain with her increasing sickness.” Every Mass, wherever we are, gives us a moment to remember and pray for “those who have gone before us, marked with the sign of faith”. It is probably because of our respect for the mystery of human death and its significance for the individual and for the family that Catholics have been at the forefront in care for the dying. The hospice and palliative care movements that have done so much to ease the pain of the dying, bringing comfort to patients and their families, have their roots in the work of Irish nuns like the Sisters of Charity who established Our Lady’s Hospice for the terminally ill poor in Harold’s Cross, Dublin in 1879. Dame Cecily Saunders, a pioneer in the development of the modern

hospice movement, got some of her early experience in caring for the dying from the sisters who ran St Joseph’s Hospice in Hackney, London. One of the first works of St Teresa of Calcutta was to convert an abandoned temple into a home for the dying poor. She renamed it Kalighat, the Home of the Pure Heart. Whatever their faith, the people who spent their last days or hours there were helped in accordance with their beliefs. “A beautiful death", she said, “for people who have lived like animals is to die like angels—loved and wanted.” It is important that the individual be cared for in a way that brings comfort, assurance and love, as free from pain as is possible, until life has run its natural course.

Brendan McConvery CSsR Editor

C OVE R STO RY

REALITY NOVEMBER 2017

ASHES TO ASHES CHANGING FUNERAL PATTERNS IN IRELAND

“NOBODY DOES DEATH LIKE THE IRISH” IT HAS BEEN SAID, BUT THE SIGNS ARE THAT THE IRISH WAY OF DEATH IS NO LONGER WHAT IT WAS. BY TRÍONA DOHERTY

couple of months ago, an article appeared in British newspaper The Guardian entitled ‘Why the Irish get death right’. In it the author Kevin Toolis asserts: “We’ve lost our way with death – but the Irish wake, where the living, the bereaved and the dead remain bound together, shows us the way things could be done.” In Ireland, he says, people are more accepting of death, and he attributes this to the traditional Irish wake, which does not shy away from the realities of death, but reminds us of how “the dying, the living, the bereaved and the dead still openly share the world”. The author has written a memoir, My Father’s Wake, about his experience returning to Achill Island for his father’s last days

THE CHANGING FUNERAL Perhaps the location of this particular wake is significant. While the traditional Irish wake remains prevalent in many parts of the country, a shift is happening, particularly in urban areas, in how people mark the death of loved ones. Funeral homes are being chosen over bringing a person’s remains to the family home. The typical number of days between death and funeral is increasing, and evening removals appear to be on the way out. In our cities, a variety of different options are becoming popular, such as choosing cremation over burial, or a civil funeral instead of religious service. Around the same time as the Guardian piece, a story from closer to home highlighted

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a change in funeral trends. Bishop Ray Browne introduced new guidelines regarding Sunday funerals in the diocese of Kerry, as part of a programme of steps to deal with the decline

Each of these stories tells us something about current Irish funeral trends; they offer contrasting tales of how Ireland is at once holding fast to traditional customs around death, while also adapting to meet the needs of a changing society and church.

Up to 30 per cent of funerals are now non-religious, while in rural areas that figure is around 10 per cent in the number of priests. Kerry follows the archdiocese of Dublin and other urban areas in refusing Sunday funerals. REALITY NOVEMBER 2017

NON-RELIGIOUS FUNERALS ? While the vast majority of funerals in Ireland are religious celebrations, there has been an

increase in non-religious funerals in recent years. These are designed with the assistance of a funeral director and a civil or Humanist celebrant, and can be held at venues such as a funeral home, private home, crematorium, or graveside. While a Humanist service is strictly non-religious, a civil funeral offers the option of including a religious element, such as hymns or prayers, if desired. No official breakdown is available, but the Irish Association of Funeral Directors (IAFD) estimates that, in urban areas, up to 30 per cent of funerals are now non-religious, while

in rural areas that figure is around 10 per cent. “There are increasing numbers of civil celebrants available, which coincides with the increase in civil wedding ceremonies. It is a natural progression for these celebrants to do funerals,” explains PRO of the IAFD, Colm Kieran. The funeral home he runs in Kingscourt, County Cavan opened in 2012, and only recently it held its first ever civil ceremony. BURIAL OR CREMATION? When it comes to arranging a funeral,

one of the biggest decisions is whether to opt for burial or cremation. Cremations have been permitted in the Catholic Church since 1963, and available in Ireland since 1982, when the country’s first crematorium opened in Glasnevin. In that year, just over 100 cremations to ok place . In the absence of any official figures, current estimates of cremation in Ireland vary considerably, from as low as 10 per cent to as high as 40 per cent in some urban areas. John Kennedy, group manager of Staffords Funeral Directors in Dublin, says there are different factors at play in the choices families make about a loved one’s funeral. “Whether a funeral is religious or civil depends on the views of the deceased and their family, but when it comes to deciding between burial and cremation, cost is the major factor,” he says. He explains that purchasing a grave plot in Dublin can cost anything up to €15,000, while the minimum cost to open an existing grave is €1,040. In contrast, the average cost of cremation is between €550 and €650. Burial costs are vastly different in rural areas, where a plot can be purchased for as little as €200, and it is traditional for neighbours to dig a grave for free. This difference in cost, and the fact that up until recently crematoria were concentrated in Dublin, means cremation is much more common in Dublin than in other parts of the country. However as people become more accustomed to attending cremations , they will undoubtedly continue to grow in popularity. If cremated, the ashes of the deceased person can be interred in a grave, or placed in a columbarium or garden of remembrance. The Vatican issued guidelines last October stating that ashes must be kept in a sacred place: “…that is, in a cemetery or, in certain cases, in a church or an area which has been set aside for this purpose.”

CHANGING COMMUNITIES The funeral industry is far from immune to changes in society and religious practice. The ‘Irish wake’ was one of the most prominent funeral traditions, but customs around the wake are changing. “It used to be you’d have an open house straight away,” says Colm Kieran of the IAFD. “People in general are more private now. Fifty or sixty years ago, people were used to ‘céilí-ing’, whereas now lots of people wouldn’t be comfortable having crowds coming into the house. There will still always be the traditional wake, but with the move towards urbanisation we will see fewer and fewer of them .” Traditionally, a wake was held in the person’s home, but in many cases this has been replaced by a ‘viewing’ at a funeral home. Just 40 per cent of funerals now involve a wake at home. A recent trend is for a combination of both, perhaps having the remains in the funeral home for two days and then in the homeplace for one day. “A funeral home allows people to pay their respects at an open coffin, but it takes pressure off the family to have to be available all the time,” says Colm. Removals also appear to be in decline. Ten years ago around 70 per cent of funerals included an evening removal to the church; nowadays it is closer to 10 per cent. In Dublin it is very rare to have a removal, and outside of Dublin things are moving the same direction. People are opting instead for just one movement on the morning of the funeral, which allows them to spend as much time as possible with the deceased person. The availability of priests also has a bearing; with falling numbers of priests, and parishes being organised into clusters, there might be only one priest to cover two or three parishes. Funeral directors say that people’s expectations are changing too, and they like to have a lot of input into the finer details. “There is an increased expectation from family members who are used to having a lot of personalisation for events such as weddings or christenings. They want the gathering to really reflect the person,” says Colm. “There is a big divide between urban and rural areas. Rural communities are still quite focused around parish and community. In urban areas there is less community cohesion and less involvement

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reflection can be given after Communion but this “should not be used as a cloak for a eulogy”. Some commentators suggested that funerals were increasingly becoming occasions of conflict between modern, secular norms and the inflexible, ancient rites of the church.

Just 40 per cent of funerals now involve a wake at home In an attempt to navigate these issues, the Dublin Archdiocese last year issued a brochure on funeral ministry (available at www. dublindiocese.ie/funeral-ministry-guidelines). It acknowledges the backdrop of a changing society, while looking to a future where the lay faithful will be more centrally involved. Many parishes have a bereavement team, and there is the option of a funeral without Mass, led by a deacon, pastoral worker, or other appointed lay person. It recommends sensitivity regarding the eulogy: “Saying something uplifting and charitable in a spirit of appreciation about the person who has died should be the main emphasis of these words. A short tribute on behalf of the family is possible but not obligatory.” There is also flexibility around another relatively new custom, the presentation of mementos symbolising aspects of the deceased’s life and interests. While they are not suitable as an Offertory Procession, they can be placed on a ‘table of remembrance’ near the coffin. While the church funeral is an act of worship, Fr McNiece says the days around a funeral offer many opportunities for prayer and other remembrance. “We can have ritual moments and different ways of remembering and giving thanks in the home or funeral home. It is all part of the ministry of consolation with the family.”

in religious activities, so people arranging funerals are less used to religious ceremonies.” According to Fr Damien McNiece of the Dublin Diocesan Liturgical Resource Centre, “What families are most afraid of is an anonymous funeral. Once people find dialogue and interaction with the parish, they are reassured.” REALITY NOVEMBER 2017

TO EULOGISE OR NOT TO EULOGISE? Recent years brought a wealth of discussion about the format of the funeral liturgy, with a focus on areas such as music and eulogies. In August 2013 Bishop Michael Smith released a much -discussed set of guidelines for the Meath diocese. He cautioned against “canonising” the deceased person, and stated that a prayerful

PLANNING AHEAD Planning for one’s own funeral is a new trend, but it is becoming more common. The Irish Hospice Foundation’s ‘Think Ahead’ campaign encourages people to record their wishes in the event of serious illness or death. It includes a section on funeral arrangements,

In urban areas there is less community cohesion and less involvement in religious activities, so people arranging funerals are less used to religious ceremonies

including type of ceremony and burial, preferred celebrant and funeral director, and preferences for music, readings, donations to charity, and so on. Details can be found at www. thinkahead.ie. Instructions regarding funeral arrangements can be left with a family member, solicitor or funeral director. Some people also choose to prepay their own funeral costs, in which case the money is usually held in an independent trust fund. Colm Kieran says that the more people plan ahead, the less scope there is for disagreement. “If a person has written everything down, it makes life so much easier for the family. If there are no instructions it can cause issues over things like where a person should be buried, or even what happens to jewellery when the coffin is closed.”

Tríona Doherty is a freelance journalist and a regular contributor to Reality

When a loved one dies... Preparing and planning the funeral of a loved one can add to the grief and trauma of bereavement. A Celebration of Life provides a gentle, clear outline to all the planning and preparation in a clear and undemanding fashion. A full selection of readings are included along with a key to planning the liturgy. The Question & Answer section provides further information on both practical and spiritual issues raised. Price: €4.50 / £3.50

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CO M M E N T THE YOUNG VOICE DAVID O’DONOGHUE

THE CALM AND THE STORM

REFLECTING ON WEEKS OF HURRICANES WITH THE HELP OF A GOSPEL STORY

It is impossible to do justice to the pain and devastation experienced by residents of the Caribbean and Latin America in a snappy opening salvo. The region has been battered by vicious hurricanes and tropical storms in the last few weeks, and most people are at least peripherally aware of this. It seemed to totally absorb our consciousness in the days when I would wake each morning and track the footprints of each storm with an outstretched thumb on my phone screen, taking in wind speed figures and swirling masses of high pressure fronts as they tore their way across patches of green surrounded by an ocean of blue. As hurricanes made landfall in densely populated American urban centres, the news seemed to blare damage reports and live feeds at every opportunity, chronicling the suffering of the people of Texas and Florida in minute detail, making for difficult watching. But as tends to be the case with the modern news cycle, other stories have now eclipsed the damage and the people affected, washed out of homes and jobs and livelihoods, are left to pick up the pieces. Going even more unnoticed are the people of the small island nations of the Caribbean, territories like Puerto Rico, Barbuda and Cuba, who face a seemingly insurmountable challenge in rebuilding after these natural disasters. These nations are already riven with socio-economic challenges. REALITY NOVEMBER 2017

In places where many of the population live on less than $4 a day, existing issues of poverty and infrastructure have been exacerbated by the damage caused by extreme weather. As our newsfeeds fill to the brim with new stories and new issues, our attention drifts, but the people of the Caribbean labour away quietly behind the headlines, struggling to put their shattered lives back together. As I’ve followed the storms and the damage they’ve caused, as well as the pronouncements from climate scientists that our changing climate indicates a likelihood of more storms of this severity in the future, I’ve got stuck on a moment in the New Testament. It often happens that those issues which I foreground in my mind will get me revisiting a certain passage or parable again and again, tracing its familiar letters and images for some semblance of calm in a world that can feel hectic and too fast paced to keep up with. Nightly Bible study has given me a kind of oasis around which to organise my thoughts, and to interpret and organise feelings of sorrow into something more sensible and productive. As I’ve followed the path of storms I’ve followed Jesus out into the boat he boards in the Gospels. I’ve watched the wind and the waves kick up around him, perhaps spraying sea foam onto his robe, and felt my footing go uneven in the rocking and pitching of the sea. I’ve felt

the same fear and trembling that the disciples did in that moment, suddenly brought low by the tempestuous ravages of nature. And I’ve heard Jesus say “Oh ye of little faith” and calm the storm with his words. In a sense it is moments like these in which our faith receives its greatest test and can blossom if attended to properly. It is natural to feel terrified by the images of whipping winds and flooded homes and uprooted trees, and to feel our faith seeming diminished and made somehow smaller by the prospect of such disaster. But if we train our eyes and our hands by the contemplation of the Gospel and of Jesus’ message in this moment, we can find an opportunity for the deepening and enrichment of our spiritual life. Looking at the damage caused by these storms can leave us feeling hopeless, but only if our attention fades when the headlines do. If we keep the faith and keep our eyes and hearts trained on these places, we will see much more than the images of destruction that keep us glued to our pages and screens. In journalist Rebecca Solnit’s book A Paradise Built in Hell, she explores the concept of ‘disaster sociology’ and how moments of natural disaster, including the Mexico City earthquake of 1985 and Hurricane Katrina, have not brought the expected collapse in social order and descent into violent chaos many would expect, but have often created

circumstances under which humanity has shown the best of itself. Without the divisions, barriers and inequalities of the ordinary social order, desperate people have stretched out a hand to their neighbours and built new communities and structures out of the rubble of their old lives. They have come together in love, empathy and warmth in the most surprising ways in order to help each other survive. In following the weeks and months after the storms and news cameras have passed, we often find people at their most loving and courageous. In these moments of terror and despair our little bit of faith can often feel small and insignificant. But in keeping hope alive and working together, the people of the Caribbean will prove their resilience and courage if we only care to look. Our faith may seem small, but if we only need faith the size of a mustard seed to move a mountain, perhaps our little faith can calm the seas.

David O'Donoghue is a freelance journalist from Co Kerry. His work has appeared in The Irish Catholic, the Irish Independent, and The Kerryman. He is the former political editor of campus.ie and holds an abiding interest in all things literary, political and spiritual.

In Tune with the Liturgy A series that highlights some of the features of the Church’s worship in the month ahead

PRAYING OUR GOODBYES HOW THE FUNERAL LITURGY PROVIDES US WITH WORDS AND CEREMONIES WHICH ALLOW FAMILIES AND INDIVIDUALS TO GRIEVE, TO EXPRESS THEIR SORROW, TO QUESTION AND TO FIND A WAY FORWARD. BY SARAH ADAMS

Autumn comes. It always does. Goodbye comes. It always does. The trees struggle with this truth today and in my deepest being, so do I. Joyce Rupp – Praying our Goodbyes

The

title of this article comes from a book by Servite sister, spiritual writer and poet, Joyce Rupp. It is a tender book which helps the reader to make sense of what it means to say goodbye to someone or something that has given meaning and value to our lives. November is traditionally the month when the church reflects on the significance of people we have loved and who have died. In the Northern hemisphere it coincides with the end of autumn and the beginning of the long dark days of winter. As autumn moves on into winter, the once luscious green leaves of summer will become

a golden hue of reds and golds before falling to the ground and mulching into the soil below. Every autumn reminds us of our own vulnerability. It carries the truth that life is fragile, that there are no sure guarantees for a trouble-free life, that there is always some dying in living, that change is inevitable. Rupp describes an ‘ache’ in autumn that is also within each of us. Such an ache is the deep stillness of a wordless yearning or longing for something deep within the human spirit. It is, she writes, an ache which has two faces: an ache that lies deep down inside our being, and the other that results from the loss of

those precious to us; those farewells that are always going on in our lives. LOOKING FOR ANSWERS When in grief or pain, we often seek answers to the questions of our wounded hearts: Why? How long? Where were you? What does this mean? We want clear directions on what to do. We search the Bible or other books that might offer us help, looking for the answers. Often we are disappointed. But the Bible is not a road map or a book of answers; it is a meeting place. The church is good at providing these meeting places where we can

In Tune with the Liturgy

THE VIGIL The first celebration of the community prior to the funeral liturgy is the vigil. Sometimes this takes place in the home, but it may also follow the reception of the body into the church, the night before the funeral. The vigil is an opportunity for the family, friends and community to gather together and prepare for what is to follow. The choice of music and readings for the vigil is as important as choosing them for the funeral liturgy.

The vigil has an introductory rite, liturgy of the word, intercessory prayer, and concludes with a prayer and blessing. Its purpose is to assist those who mourn to express their sorrow, and to find strength and consolation through faith in Christ and his resurrection. The vigil liturgy might be the best time for people to speak about the one who has died. Eulogies, poems and other alternative readings are appropriate at the vigil in a way that they may not be appropriate during

When in grief or pain, we often seek answers to the questions of our wounded hearts: Why? How long? Where were you? What does this mean?

encounter Jesus, God’s living and life-giving Word. Jesus comes to us, opening our way to God. Within the context of death, the church provides us with rites which enable and allow families and individuals to grieve, to express their sorrow, to question and to find a way forward. Depending on the country in which we live, funeral rites within the Christian tradition do not differ in content but they do differ in how long a family has to prepare to say goodbye. In Ireland, a funeral almost always takes place within a matter of days of a death. In England or Wales, it is more likely to take two weeks. However quickly or slowly it happens, funerals follow a similar pattern when the community prays for the deceased and supports those who are bereaved. Its primary aim is to ensure a person’s dignified and prayerful sending on their journey back to God. REALITY NOVEMBER 2017

This is a time when people from all walks of life may gather to be with the family - previous work colleagues, or friends from clubs and social activities, who may not necessarily be able to attend the funeral Mass itself. The purpose of the vigil, according to the pastoral notes on the rite, is to meet the needs of the often bewildered, grieving mourners who may still be in a state of shock. “The ministry of the Church at this time is one of gently accompanying the mourners in their initial adjustment to the fact of death and to the sorrow that entails.” (Order of Christian Funerals #52)

the funeral Mass. A vigil well prepared and well celebrated can really sustain family and friends. Having the opportunity to remember, tell stories, share experiences and reminisce together is a very important element of the vigil. BEGINNING THE JOURNEY Following the vigil, if it takes place in the home, the body is moved to the church or the place of committal. It is another time of great emotion, beginning with a beautiful invitation to begin the final journey. The funeral Mass

is the central liturgical celebration of the Christian community for the deceased. It is profound and beautiful because it is when we most clearly join our remembering of the deceased to the community’s great memorial of Christ, dead and risen, and find new hope in God’s promises. We give thanks for Christ’s victory over sin and death and commend the deceased to the tender compassion and mercy of God. Family and close friends will accompany the body over the threshold of the church for the last time. As the body is placed before the altar, it is covered in a white cloth, a reminder of the baptismal garment. Other reminders of the person’s faith, such as. a Bible or cross, are placed on top of the casket. These symbols often speak of the significance of faith in the person’s life. They are not only very human but are gestures of faith, theological and human in their meaning and purpose. The choice of readings and music are key to a family’s ability to name their loss and share their faith. Selecting appropriate readings for the person to whom they are saying goodbye gives them something to return to time and again. Music is also key – often when words cannot be found, music speaks loudest. Music moves us in ways words alone cannot. Our tradition teaches us songs for every season, hymns for hearts wounded and being healed. We sing the sacred words and stories of those who have suffered before us, those who have walked the journey from brokenness to healing. When our hope is dashed and our joy departed we need our fellow pilgrims to sing for us, to us. Their singing holds us up and binds us as one. During the course of the liturgy, the value of silence cannot be underestimated. God comes to us also in the silence. ‘For God alone, my soul in silence waits’ the psalmist sings. Silence often frightens us when we are wounded. We distract ourselves, trying to push down painful memories or hold back the flood of tears. We stay busy, as if control were a sign of healing. We surround ourselves with noise, drowning out the still, small voice of the Spirit. We might deny it

but we thirst for silence; we yearn to rest beside still waters. St Augustine writes that he could not truly mourn the death of his mother until he was quiet and alone in his bed. His journey toward healing began with the tears that flowed from faithful silence. Allowing some time for silence during the funeral liturgy helps the journey which leads to healing. THE FINAL FAREWELL At the end of the requiem Mass comes the final commendation. This is a truly poignant moment, often requiring people to take deep breaths, knowing that this is the last part of the journey. The beautiful ‘Song of Farewell’, which can be spoken but is best sung, enhances this deeply profound moment when the community appears to pass the person on to heaven. As the coffin is sprinkled and incensed, the dignity and reverence of the priest provides another sign to the bereaved of the care and attention that the community has for them and for the one who has died. The strength of singing an inspiring song of hope, such as 'I know my Redeemer Lives’ cannot be underestimated for its capacity to sustain and uplift those who mourn. Finally at the grave or crematorium, the rite of committal provides a simple but nonetheless meaningful conclusion to the funeral rite. Here the family and community give the one they love back to God’s tender care. Although the rite is short, it is seen as so important that it is often lengthened by some kind of ritual, or additional prayers or readings. Making the sign of the cross, everyone scattering rose petals over the coffin, or marking the coffin with the sign of the cross are people’s last sign of love and farewell. Funeral liturgies are important, not only for the deceased but for those who are left behind. It is the very essence of dealing with the ache of autumn. Allowing people to feel their pain and express their sorrow is not to be avoided; it will ultimately lead to resurrection and joy. Sarah Adams studied liturgical theology at Maynooth. She now lives in Devon, working for the Diocese of Plymouth as a Religious Education adviser. She enjoys hiking on Dartmoor and the surrounding countryside.

Walking with Grief from the Northumbria Community

Do not hurry as you walk with grief; it does not help the journey. Walk slowly, Pausing often; Do not hurry As you walk with grief. Be not disturbed By memories That come unbidden. Swiftly forgive; and let Christ speak for you unspoken words. Unfinished conversation will be resolved in him. Be not disturbed. Be gentle with the one who walks with grief. If it is you, be gentle with yourself. Swiftly forgive; walk slowly, pausing often. Take time and be gentle as you walk with grief. By Andy Raine © Northumbria Community. From Celtic Daily Prayer Book 1: The Journey Begins published by Collins. Used with permission.

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CATHOLICS AND CREMATION IRISH ATTITUDES TO DEATH AND DYING ARE CHANGING. IT IS ESTIMATED THAT TEN PER CENT OF ALL FUNERALS IN IRELAND ARE CREMATIONS, WHILE IN DUBLIN, WHERE THERE ARE NOW THREE CREMATORIA, THE FIGURE IS EVEN HIGHER. BY BRENDAN McCONVERY CSsR

While

more than 90 per cent of Irish people are still buried in the earth, cremation is the preferred option of the remainder, and it is growing in popularity year by year. The first crematorium in the country, Roselawn in Belfast, was opened in 1961. Just over twenty years later, the first one in the Republic was opened in Glasnevin Cemetery, Dublin. There are now crematoria at Mount Jerome and Newlands Cross in Dublin, Cavan and Cork, with two more planned for Ballinasloe and Shannon. Since 1962, the option of cremation has been open to Catholics and the most recent guidelines were issued by the Vatican in October, 2016.

REALITY NOVEMBER 2017

CREMATION AND BURIAL Historically, the two most common ways of treating the human body after death have been burial in the earth (inhumation) and reducing the body to ashes by fire (cremation). Others, such as exposing the body to the elements or burial at sea, are less common. The ancient inhabitants of Ireland who built the monumental passage graves at Newgrange and elsewhere about 3,200 BC, appear to have practised both burial and cremation. Civilisations like ancient Egyptian developed a high culture associated with the burial of the bodies of the dead. They developed the

art of embalming and preserving the body, along with the construction of elaborate tombs and coffins: they had no place for cremation. In many parts of the Ancient Middle East, in what we often call the Holy Land, for example, the dead were often buried in clay coffins, designed to look like human bodies. All these cultures are testimony to the human conviction that there is life beyond the grave. Reflecting their Middle Eastern origins, both Judaism and Islam forbid cremation: they also require that bodies be buried in the earth as soon as possible after death â&#x20AC;&#x201C; on the day of death itself if possible.

For Hinduism, the religion of ancient Henry Thompson, promoted it in England India, cremation is the normal way to treat as "it was becoming a necessary sanitary the bodies of the dead. Within 24 hours of precaution against the propagation of death, the body is publically cremated on a disease among a population daily growing funeral pyre near a river. Family members larger in relation to the area it occupied." take an active role in the cremation: they Cremation societies, drawing support then dispose of the ashes by scattering especially from intellectuals and writers, them on the river. The Ganges is considered sprang up throughout Europe campaigning a privileged place for scattering the ashes. for the building of crematoria. The world’s Hindus believe cremation releases the soul first crematorium was opened in Woking in from its bodily prison, so that it can be free to Surrey in 1878. It took some time to catch reincarnate in another body. Outside of India, on: it had only three cremations during its Hindus cremate their dead in accordance first year, with ten the following year. with the local cremation laws. Although burial and cremation were options in ancient Greece and Rome, cremation disappeared in Western Europe as Christianity spread. The only exceptions were in times of plague, when it was not possible to dispose of the bodies without further risk of infection, or in cases of notorious heresy, when it was regarded as punishment. Some heretics Inside the columbarium of the Pere Lachaise cemetery, Paris were burnt at the stake, but occasionally the body of someone who was judged a heretic after By the early 20th century, France had three death was exhumed, burned and the ashes crematoria, the United States 29, Britain 12, scattered. Such was the case of John Wycliffe Italy 30, Germany 9, Switzerland 4, Sweden (c1320-1384) the English reformer and Bible 2,while Denmark, Canada, Argentina and translator. Wycliffe died of natural causes, Australia had one each. but 30 years after his death, the Council of Constance declared him a heretic, and his OPPOSITION FROM THE CHURCHES body was exhumed and burned. Many of those who championed cremation were rationalists or free-thinkers. In France, THE RETURN OF CREMATION IN THE where the State was conducting a vicious WEST campaign against The idea of cremating bodies “in the name the Catholic Church, of public health and civilisation” was first th e anti - cl er i c a l presented to the International Medical parties encouraged Congress of Florence by two Italian doctors c re m a t i o n a s a in 1869. Despite its novelty, the idea rapidly further badge of attracted attention, especially as cities were secularisation. The expanding rapidly, and space for burial was C atholic Church at a premium. Queen Victoria’s doctor, Sir r e t a l i a t e d b y Ad resurgendum cum Christo

forbidding its members to join cremation societies or to co-operate in cremations. It was not alone, as most Christian denominations initially opposed it, regarding it as a denial of the resurrection of the body, a fundamental article of the Creed. The first Catholic Code of Canon Law, promulgated in 1917, forbade cremation. Even if someone had left orders to be cremated, the next of kin were obliged to ignore those wishes if they claimed to be Catholics. Some Protestant churches were quicker to recognise the growing attraction of cremation, especially in large cities where cemetery space was at a premium. The first edition of the Catholic Encyclopaedia, published in 1907, however, recognised that “it must be remembered that there is nothing directly opposed to any dogma of the Church in the practice of cremation,” and should it ever happen that the State made it compulsory, “it would not be a lapse in the faith confided to her were she obliged to conform.” The Orthodox churches continue to be strongly opposed to cremation, refusing a funeral liturgy to anyone who chooses it, and even excluding them from any form of prayer for the departed. CHANGE OF MIND? The Second Vatican Council had tried to reach out with an open mind and heart to men and women of every condition.

Burial remains the best option for the Christian dead, since that is how the body of the Lord and of his Mother, as well as the bodies of the saints and martyrs, were treated

R E FOR DE AT H MA AT N DI ODY N ING

It recognised that support for cremation did not necessarily imply a denial of the dignity of the human body or of life after death. Many people, genuinely concerned about the human environment, considered cremation as a remedy to problems such as overcrowding and shrinking space in cities for human development. The restrictions on cremation were eased, and priests were permitted to celebrate Catholic funeral rites at crematoria, provided that cremation did not imply a repudiation of the Creed’s profession of faith in the resurrection of the body. The latest instruction, 'Ad resurgendum cum Christo: Regarding the burial of the deceased and the conservation of the ashes in the case of cremation' was issued on August 15, 2016, the feast of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin, an appropriate day on which to meditate on Christian death and burial. It makes it clear that, in keeping with the age-long tradition reaching back into the

Jewish roots of Christian faith, burial remains the best option for the Christian dead, since that is how the body of the Lord and of his Mother, as well as the bodies of the saints and martyrs, were treated. The Christian cemetery has a symbolic value as a place of rest which visibly asserts “the relationship between the living and the dead”, and emphasises the communitarian aspect of Christian death. The ashes of a cremated person are to be laid to rest either in a traditional grave, or within a columbarium (dovecote) or wall with niches for receiving the urns containing the ashes. Catholic funeral rites stress respect for the body of the deceased. The coffin is sprinkled with holy water, it is incensed and covered with a white funeral pall while it lies before the altar. It is laid to rest with its brothers and sisters in the faith, especially with the members of its human family. The instruction wishes to extend the same privileged status to the ashes. They are to be placed in holy ground, “as we wait in joyful hope for the

coming of our Saviour, Jesus Christ”. This means that ashes of a deceased brother or sister should not be scattered in the wind, or converted into pieces of jewellery. Our reverent treatment of them symbolises our hope for their eternal rest and resurrection. True, the Lord can gather the individual body from wherever it is scattered. The bodies of canonised saints, like Maximilien Kolbe or Edith Stein, were reduced to nothing in the crematoria of the concentration camps, and this did not hinder their claim to share the life of the Resurrection, but perhaps our generation, living in a disposable culture, needs to learn again how to respect the body at its most frail and vulnerable.

Brendan McConvery CSsR is a former lecturer in biblical studies. He is currently editor of Reality.

Love’s Doorway to Life is a unique compilation of Patrick Kavanagh’s work, which traces the story of his life from the drumlin hills of Monaghan to the Grand Canal in Dublin. A long time student of the poet, Úna Agnew is a leading expert in the field of Kavanagh study. She is assisted here by her brother Art Agnew, also a Kavanagh enthusiast, and together they offer an alternative biography of Kavanagh’s poetic life and his struggle to fulfill his destiny. Aware of the poet’s eccentric public persona and frequent social improprieties, these recordings remain attuned, to the poet’s unique conviction that “posterity has no use for anything but the soul”. Utilising more than 50 excerpts that cover three

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VOCAT I O N

Living in Memory 25 THE MONASTERY OF ST ALPHONSUS IN DRUMCONDRA, DUBLIN, IS THE ONLY HOUSE OF THE REDEMPTORISTINE SISTERS IN IRELAND. WITH SISTERS FROM IRELAND, GERMANY AND SLOVAKIA, IT IS A THRIVING COMMUNITY. THIS PICTURE ESSAY, WITH PHOTOGRAPHS BY THE SISTERS, BRINGS US INTO THE CLOISTER OF THIS ENCLOSED COMMUNITY.

The

Celebrating the Divine Office in the Chapel

Monastery of St Alphonsus in Drumcondra, Dublin, is one of the 40 convents of the Order of the Most Holy Redeemer. It is one of the smaller of the contemplative orders, compared to the 20,000 Poor Clares worldwide or the eight communities of Carmelites in Ireland alone. The Order is part of the Redemptorist family, along with the Fathers and Brothers of the Congregation of the Most Holy Redeemer. In most double orders, the male branch came into existence before the female. This is not the way in the Redemptorist family. It was the founder of the womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s community, Blessed Maria Celeste Crostarosa (beatified in June 2016), who persuaded St Alphonsus Liguori to found his congregation of missionaries. While the older monasteries in Europe, with some exceptions, are in decline, the Order is flourishing in Asia, with three convents in Japan, two in the Philippines and one in Thailand. The Order has also experienced new growth in the former Communist countries of Eastern Europe, with communities in Poland, Slovakia and Kazakhstan. The Dublin community is in a healthy state. It has had a regular trickle of entrants in recent years.

VO CAT I O N The main work of any contemplative community is prayer, and the most important common prayer is the daily liturgy of the Eucharist and the hours of the divine office. From early morning, the sisters gather six times a day to say or sing the praises of God in the psalms. The sisters have three periods of contemplative prayer each day – in the morning before the Office, and in the evening, with the Blessed Sacrament exposed, before Vespers or Evening Prayer. In the afternoon, each sister devotes an hour to contemplative prayer and lectio divina in accordance with her work and other duties. During the rest of the day, short private prayers such as the rosary keep the atmosphere of recollection. Thanks to the advent of the webcam, the sisters’ friends, and even the merely curious, from far and near are able to join them for prayer. Neighbours bring their prayer intentions to the sisters: prayer intentions also flood in from all over the world by email and post. There is also time for ongoing study of scripture and theology as well as for the meetings of the community.

A contemplative community has to earn its living. The main work of the sisters is the production of communion hosts which they supply to parishes throughout Ireland. The dough for the hosts is mixed, baked, cut, checked for quality, then packed and shipped to the parishes.

Some of the Sisters of the Monastery of St Alphonsus wearing blue choir mantle for the reception of a new postulant, Sr Máire Bríd, in blue without veil

The ideal of Redemptoristine life is to become a ‘living memory’ of the great story of Redemption. The habit is in the traditional colours of red and blue, associated with icons of the Redeemer. Throughout the liturgical year, the sisters relive the story of our salvation that comes to its crescendo in the great Vigil of the Resurrection. Music is important in the life of the sisters. They sing much of the daily Office and Mass and use a wide variety of instruments.

Mixing batter for communion hosts

The sisters also make candles for special occasions such as weddings and baptisms and habits for their Redemptorist brothers. Teaching young Redemptorists how to make habits

REALITY NOVEMBER 2017

Writing icons is work especially suited to contemplative nuns. It requires prayer and meditation on the mystery it represents. The finished icon is a sacramental and is solemnly blessed during the Eucharist.

Left: Mixing colours for an icon. Above: Finished icons for blessing

The rhythm of the sisters’ life includes the daily work of housekeeping and preparing meals, but there is also time for recreation together, during which some of the sisters like to play Scrabble or catch up on their knitting. The more lively enjoy a brisk game of ping pong!

A religious community is a community of sisters who support each other in times of need, cheer and encourage each other and grow old in the joy of the Lord.

Sisters knit gifts for family

Sr Jacinta welcomes the new entrant, Máire Bríd

When a postulant crosses the threshold of the cloister, she enters into a new family that welcomes her with love. Sister Jacinta, the longest professed sister now 70 years in the community, greets Máire Bríd, the newest postulant.

The sister lies prostrate before the altar, the most solemn way of imploring God’s blessing, at an ordination, religious profession, or on Good Friday. When she has made her vows, she receives a ring, symbol of her commitment to Christ. At solemn profession, her name is entered in the handwritten and illuminated Book of Professions of the Monastery.

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prayer corner

In this series, Fr George Wadding invites us to take an imaginative look at some familiar Gospel stories, imagining how the characters might have told their story if they were alive today. Using the imagination can be a powerful way of entering into reflective contemplative prayer. Find a quiet corner, read the article slowly a few times, think about it and pray as the spirit leads you.

The Rich Young

According to the Gospel story, Jesus one day met a rich young man and invited him to let go of his worldly possessions and become his disciple. Now in the final years of his life, he looks back on the day he declined the call of Jesus. Read this meditation and keep your Bible handy, open at Mark 10:17-27

It's

nearly 40 years since the day I met Jesus of Nazareth. I had listened to him preaching and saw the goodness of the man. One morning, he was setting out on a journey with his apostles and I was afraid I might never see him again. So, I ran after him as fast as I could. Now, I know he was just a carpenter, but still I knelt before him out of respect for he spoke with the wisdom and holiness of a great Rabbi. He was humble too, and he gently rebuked me for my big emotional show of respect. He was right, of course. It was a bit over the top. Now, I was reared by my parents to be God-fearing. I had observed all the laws and commandments of the Torah as best I could. And God had rewarded me with great wealth. But there was always a lingering doubt in my mind - was I doing enough to save my soul? At first,

REALITY NOVEMBER 2017

Jesus' words were very affirming. I was able to tell him, yes, I had kept the commandments, I hadn't committed murder or adultery, I hadn't stolen or defrauded anyone and I had always respected and obeyed my parents. But the doubt lingered. I heard myself asking, "Is that enough?" And his answer floored me: "Sell what you own and give the money to the poor... Then come, follow me." FOLLOW HIM? I had no intention of following him. And even if I had, wouldn't it have been better to hold on to my wealth - then I could help his work financially. A fisherman might find it easy to leave all to follow him. But I had estates to administer. I just couldn't walk out and tramp the dusty roads with him. Anyhow, I wasn't brought up to that rough way of life. He saw the shock in my face as he waited

for my answer. But no answer was forthcoming. I swear I saw a tear flow down his cheek as he turned back to his group of followers. I watched them depart like ghostly figures in the shimmering heat until they disappeared round a bend in the road. I heard Jesus preaching many times after that, but I stayed well back for fear he'd see me and challenge me again. I heard him tell the story of paying eleventh-hour workers the same as those who toiled all day. I now know that story is really about Jews and Gentiles, but its literal meaning at the time seared my conscience. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d never dream of paying the eleventh-hour workers the same as those who had worked all day. At other times, I heard him castigate the scribes and pharisees - the very pillars of observance we ordinary folk imitated and thought were saints. Clearly, simply observing

Man Looks Back Commandments and rules and regulations was not enough for anyone who wanted to enter the Kingdom of God... I have often wondered: was Jesus thinking about me when he told the story of Mr Richman and Lazarus? I was there in the crowd the day he told it and so were some of the poor people who lived near my estates. It was very embarrassing. I covered my face and sneaked away down a side street to the safety of my own home. I thought the whole business would pass and I'd forget about it. Now I hear my story has been recorded for posterity by a man from Jerusalem called Mark. But, fair dues to him; he did not record my name. WITH THE PASSING YEARS But, of course, I'm much older now and have had plenty of time to reflect on it all. Why was Jesus so hard on the rich? I know for a fact that he had quite a few rich friends. The whole of Jericho was talking about Zacchaeus, the chief tax collector in the town. Now, he wasn't asked to give it all away, though he did part voluntarily with a tidy

sum. Then there was Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus and others. They weren't asked to beggar themselves and follow Jesus. So, why me? What I hadn't reckoned with when I went to Jesus was that he could read my innermost heart. I got off to a bad start with all this "Good Teacher" bit. I suppose I was trying to flatter him and impress him with how respectable I was. I was full of me, not of God. On reflection, I realise that the commandments I boasted about keeping were practically all negative commandments. What I was saying was that I hadn't done anyone any harm, but what Jesus was saying to me was: "Great! But with all your wealth, with all you could give away, what positive good have you done for others? Why not start now?" At the time, of course, I couldn't see it that way. It was much later that I understood what Jesus was getting at, when I heard his parable about Mr Richman and Lazarus. Like Mr Richman, I wasn't doing any harm to anyone. Like him I wasn't doing anything for the Lazaruses of this world either. In fact, we were taught that misfortunes were the result of one's own or one's parents' sins while

29 good fortune (such as mine) was the result of a good life. But Jesus burst that bubble too. I was there when he was interviewed about the Siloam Tower disaster. He made it clear that disasters and misfortunes were not inflicted by God as a punishment for sin no more than wealth was a reward for virtue. But I put it all to the back of my mind until recently. Jesus offered me freedom that day. But I turned it down. In the intervening years my life became a strenuous and worried struggle to retain and increase my wealth. It's true what they say: 'Enough is always a little more than a man has.' I had such a big stake on earth that I often forgot the things of heaven. I am now near the end of my days and the lesson of Jesus has become very clear to me: the danger of riches is that they can make us forget that we lose what we keep and gain what we give away. I may still have time to follow his advice. May God be merciful to me, a sinner!

Father George Wadding CSsR is a member of the Redemptorist Community, Dun Mhuire, Griffith Avenue, Dublin D09 P9H9

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COM M E N T FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS CARMEL WYNNE

STOP BLAMING PARENTS

MOST NEW PARENTS PROBABLY EXPECT TO BE DIFFERENT FROM THEIR OWN MOTHERS AND FATHERS. BUT AS THEIR CHILD GROWS OLDER, THEY FIND THEMSELVES BECOMING MIRROR IMAGES OF THEIR OWN PARENTS.. There is a widespread tendency to make parents responsible for many of the ills in our society. In the not too distant past, medical experts blamed a mother's lack of emotional warmth when children had conditions like autism or attention deficit disorder, conditions that science has now proven to have biological causes. It’s horrifying to think of the guilt-inducing judgements that many parents, mostly mothers, suffered and still suffer, when labelled a bad parent. Most of us carry beliefs from childhood that are so much a part of how we think that we assume everyone else thinks like we do. I find it surprising that so many young couples fail to understand the importance of discussing their attitudes to and expectations of marriage and parenthood. Some don’t realise how important it is to talk about what one wants and values in a relationship. Others simply don’t know what they believe. No two people will have exactly the same early life experiences, even when they are brought up in the same family. A man’s early experiences of family life will never be the same as that of a woman. A person who was an unhappy child will have different expectations to a person who had happy experiences. I’m making an educated guess that the majority of new parents set out to parent very differently to the way they were

There is a huge difference in the quality of relationship when family members relate in their respective roles and when they have a person to person relationship. There will be a lot of overlap because those different styles of relating are not mutually exclusive. parented. Despite the heartfelt desire to do things differently, some find themselves doing and saying things they vowed they never would, becoming mirror images of their own parents. It’s disturbing to learn why parents tend to do to their children what was done to them. Beliefs about how to be a parent are unconsciously influenced by what was modelled by your parents. It can be disturbing to reflect on what kind of role models they were for you. Adults who grew up with a parent or parents who modelled dysfunctional patterns of behaviour need to be aware. No matter how determined they are not to use how they were parented as a guide, they may struggle to do what they know is right but feels wrong; it feels disloyal. What children experience in their daily life will often become the measure against which they as adults judge the quality of their family relationships. Children learn to think, feel and act in ways that are likely to generate parental approval.

Almost by osmosis they acquire a set of beliefs and expectations about family roles. Those beliefs are like internal rules that guide their perceptions of what is right and wrong, good and bad. Family therapist Virginia Satir said, “People in families almost always think they know each other. I have found that family members who feel this way are the most likely to be strangers to one another. What they think is a given person is more likely to be his or her role”. Take for example a man who is a great provider but emotionally distant from his children. He has a warm, affectionate relationship with his wife, who keeps him up to date on what their children are doing. He may believe that he is a good father because he shows an interest in his children. However if he doesn’t have a close relationship with them, he relates in the family at two different levels. With his children he relates in the role of father and with his wife he has a person to person connection. Parents and children play many roles within the family. Each role carries expectations.

When people relate in terms of a role, they require at least one other to complete their definition of themselves. A woman can’t engage in the role of wife unless she has a husband. To engage in the role of father a man must have children. “Mother” and “Father” are two words that not only describe parental roles but stimulate an emotional response that probably reflect beliefs, expectations and responsibilities of those roles. Words have enormous power to influence how we relate. Parents do their best, given their own family backgrounds, education, life experiences and emotional states. It’s heartening that a growing number of psychologists and researchers believe that the emphasis on blaming parents in psychotherapy is a problem. Imagine how family relationships will change when blaming stops. Surely this move towards a more tolerant and compassionate view of parents is long overdue. Carmel Wynne is a life and work skills coach and lives in Dublin. For more information, visit www.carmelwynne.org

FROM THE ARCHIVES March 1949

ST GERARD BEATS THE COMMUNISTS The Italian election of 1948 has been described by a historian as "the most passionate, the most important, the longest, the dirtiest, and the most uncertain electoral campaign in Italian history". After the defeat of Mussolini’s Fascists, a referendum had voted to abolish the monarchy in 1946. The post-war situation in Europe was complex. The carve-up of Europe at the Yalta conference had created a powerful Communist bloc in Eastern Europe, and the possibility of a victory for the strong Italian Communist Party in the first elections of the Italian Republic created the spectre of an additional Red bloc on the Mediterranean, balancing Tito’s Yugoslavia on the other side of the Adriatic. So likely did a Communist victory appear that the Irish Ambassador to the Holy See, Joseph Walshe, informally offered Pope Pius XII refuge in Ireland should it prove necessary for him to leave a Red Italy. The Italian election was watched closely (and funded) by both sides of the Cold War, primarily the superpowers of Soviet Russia and the United States. It has been estimated however that more than

REALITY NOVEMBER 2017

£42, 000 (well over €1.25 million today) was raised in Ireland alone to fund the campaign of the Italian Christian Democratic Party. Its leader was Alcide de Gaspari, a long time opponent of Fascism and one of the founding fathers of the European Union. Everything was thrown into mobilising the Catholic vote. This included a pilgrimage with the relics of St Gerard through his home region of the Basilicata. His body was brought in an ornamental car throughout the region, accompanied by nine Redemptorists who preached on the necessity of defeating the Communists and Socialists in the election. It had become, not a choice of which political party to vote for but “Are you with Christ or against Christ?” As this account from The Redemptorist Record of March-April 1949 makes clear, it was a resounding success. It was accompanied by some minor miracles such as a copious rainfall after a very dry spring that threatened the crops in this rural region, or the cure of a disabled girl. Brendan McConvery CSsR

F E AT U R E

SHANE MICHAEL THE "BUCKET LIST" BABY

HOW DO YOUNG PARENTS COPE WITH THE NEWS THAT THE BABY THEY ARE EXPECTING IS SUFFERING FROM ANENCEPHALY, AND WILL PROBABLY DIE SOON AFTER BIRTH? JENNA AND DAN CHOSE TO DO, WITH THEIR UNBORN BABY, ALL THE THINGS THEY WOULD HAVE WISHED TO DO WITH HIM IN HIS EARLY YEARS. ALMOST A MILLION PEOPLE FOLLOWED THEIR ADVENTURES ON FACEBOOK. BY JENNA HALEY

October 9, 2014, Shane Michael Haley, our first child, was born. He only lived four short hours, but he left an imprint on this world that most could not in 100 years. This is his story. On March 30, 2014 we were driving home. The roads were very icy and we spun out driving 55 mph on the highway.

REALITY NOVEMBER 2017

Luckily, after hitting the guard rail and median twice, no one was injured. Jenna was about 12 weeks pregnant so we decided to go to the hospital to check on the baby. The doctors performed an ultrasound and said the baby looked fine, but blood tests indicated that there was some foetal bleeding. They told us to follow up with our

obstetrician, who recommended us to a specialist. On April 10, 2014 Jenna decided to go with her mom to the ultrasound appointment with the specialist because Dan had work. It was the day that we were going to announce to our friends that we were expecting, but we wanted to wait until after the appointment to ensure that

the baby was healthy. As we watched the baby move, the doctors snapped pictures for us. The doctor came back into the office, and said, "We have a problem." My mother and I cried as we thought that we had lost the baby. We were then brought into the office to receive the news that no parent wants to hear. "Your baby has anencephaly, a

neural tube defect in which there is no survival rate." We asked so many questions as to how and why this could have happened. Our doctor told us that people usually terminate these babies and my mouth dropped. My mom interjected and said that I am pro-life, and will be carrying the baby to term. LIVING WITH BAD NEWS I was speechless and my head was spinning. I couldn't believe that our baby would be leaving us so soon. I left the hospital alone, and headed toward Dan. I gave him a call and told him we needed to talk, and I’m sure my voice said it all. I pulled up to find Dan waiting outside. I ran over to him with the pictures of our baby and clung onto him in

tears. I told him that our baby has anencephaly, and that we would carry him to term, but he wouldn't survive. We decided we needed time away to be with our thoughts, and headed to the Jersey Shore. It was our four year anniversary, and two days prior, we had received the most terrible news of our lives. We were numb and needed to take some time away. We both decided that our baby needed us, and no matter, what we were proud of him/her. We decided to post our birth announcement, letting everyone know that we were expecting, but to keep our child in their prayers because of his diagnosis.

As our due date approached we had many doctor’s visits that ended with tears and heartbreak, but we knew our little one was a fighter. On May 23, 2014 we went

Dan made a Facebook page so friends and family could follow our adventures. We travelled to Cape May Zoo, Ocean City Maryland, Geno's Steaks, New

We talked to him, kissed him, held him, and loved him for two more hours, until Shane passed away peacefully in my arms at 6:05 am. in for another visit, and found we were expecting a boy! We decided to name him Shane Michael Haley. TRAVELLING WITH SHANE MICHAEL We created a bucket list of places we would have loved to visit with Shane Michael as he grew up, but we had to do them now before he was born.

York City, Spruce Street Harbor Park, baseball games, and even Lancaster for a train ride. These big adventures were for a little boy who gave us the greatest titles in the world, mom and dad. Our friend Chelsea, a writer for a local news station, asked us if she could write a story about our journey with Shane, and we agreed. The local radio station posted our story on

F E AT U R E

I was two weeks farther along than was normal. We agreed to induce at 39 weeks because the fluid levels continued to rise, and became a threat to Shane's delivery.

met ours was an experience like no other. I remember crying tears of joy because I was so happy to finally see his little face. He had his dad's lips and nose just like I had seen in the ultrasounds. He had a full set of hair just like his mom.

At 6lbs 9 oz and 19 inches he was a chunky little man. The moment Shane's eyes met ours was an experience like no other

their Facebook page, and soon many people started to follow our adventures as a family. We found comfort in sharing Shane's story and reading through the stories of those who posted on our page. When we started Shane's Bucket List, his Facebook page had a few hundred followers.

Dan and Jenna Haley

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When we finished our bucket list a few months later, the Facebook page Prayers for Shane had more than 955,000 followers. It was amazing to witness the impact our little Shane had on so many people throughout the world. As the pregnancy continued, my amniotic fluid levels showed

BIRTH DAY The last Sunday before Shane's arrival, we gathered our family and celebrated Shane's 39 weeks. For 39 weeks we carried our son with us through adventures together as a family. We created memories that would last us a lifetime, and a journey that, in itself, was a miracle. We learned what true love was, and what it meant to be parents to a child who wouldn't be here long on earth with us. We celebrated every second together as a family. We prayed for a miracle. We prayed that, no matter what happened, we would accept God's will for our lives and the life of our son. On October 7, at 39 weeks and two days, we entered the hospital for our scheduled induction. It was an extremely long and arduous process. Both of our families, totalling 23 people, waited patiently in the hospital waiting room. At 2.25am on October 9, Shane made his entrance into this world after only 15 minutes of pushing by Jenna. He was perfect! At 6lbs 9 oz and 19 inches he was a chunky little man. The moment Shane's eyes

BAPTISM Our nurses and doctors allowed our priest and all family members to come back into the room along with two photographers. Shane was baptized into the Catholic faith, and everyone was there to witness it. Dan and I were the only ones to hold Shane while photos were being taken with family members by our bed side. The only time we heard Shane cry was when the photographer asked us to move him up a bit and thankfully we got his beautiful little cry on video. Shane kept his eyes open, looking around at all of his family who waited for his arrival and who celebrated his life both in and outside the womb. After about an hour and a half, everyone let us have our time alone with Shane. We talked to him, kissed him, held him, and loved him for two more hours, until Shane passed away peacefully in my arms at 6.05 am. We called our family members and let them know of our angel's passing. Many of Shane's aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and friends came to hold him after he passed. They held him close and kept him warm. Dan and I were able to keep Shane in our arms for 36 hours. We gave him his first bath, read

him his favourite book one last time, prayed with him, and sang happy birthday to him. Those 36 hours were the hardest yet most amazing hours of our lives. Giving Shane to the funeral director at the hospital was a pain that haunts me to this day. I remember being wheeled out knowing this was the last time Shane would feel his mom and dad's hugs and kisses. We left the hospital empty and broken – a feeling that no parent should ever feel, and a hole in our hearts that will never be filled. LIVING FOREVER The following week leading up to Shane's funeral we had countless visitors. Friends and family helped us get through our most difficult times. The night before

the funeral, we had people help us make green ribbons to wear in honour of Shane, and one of Shane's cousins and uncles also made wristbands for people to take in honour of Shane. The funeral Mass was beautiful, but seeing his casket sitting to the right of us made it seem all too real. Reading a eulogy for my baby was something no father could ever dream of but I was honoured to speak on behalf of my son. We buried Shane in the angel section of our cemetery where he rests with all the other baby boys and girls who were called to heaven way too soon. We visit Shane multiple times a week, and still read him his favourite book. We remind him we love and miss him and we update him

37 Shane Michael

The proud parents

on things that we are doing in his memory. We miss our son more each day, and as some people know time does not heal all wounds. We are so proud of the impact Shane made in bringing awareness to anencephaly, and showing the world that no matter how small or how limited your time here on earth is, you can leave an impact that will last for generations. You brought this world together and proved that every life, no matter how short, is so valuable and should be protected and respected. Shane has nine uncles, two aunts, four grandparents, and many cousins and friends that miss him dearly. We are forever changed by Shane and are thankful for the time that God blessed us to have

him here on earth. He is forever our little angel in heaven. Thank you to the many people who followed our story and prayed for Shane and our family. Thank you to our many family and friends who helped give witness to life. Each and every one of you hold a special place in our hearts. Written with love in honour of our sweet baby Shane Michael Haley.

Jenna and Dan Haley are natives of Philadelphia.

P RAYE R

ANTHONY DE MELLO’S FOUR STAGES BLENDING PSYCHOLOGY, TRADITIONAL METHODS OF MEDITATION, EASTERN AND WESTERN SPIRITUALITY AND OTHER PRAYER TRADITIONS, THE INDIAN JESUIT HAD A FRESH APPROACH TO GUIDING PEOPLE ALONG THE PATHWAYS TO PRAYER. BY CARMEL WYNNE

Jesuit

priest Anthony d e Mello S.J. is recognised worldwide as one of the most gifted spiritual teachers of the 20th century. His first book Sadhana offered a series of spiritual exercises for entering the contemplative state, exercises that have guided people all over the world to deeper experiences in prayer. Blending psychology, Ignatian prayer exercises, Eastern and Western spirituality and other prayer traditions, he had a radical approach to guiding people along the pathways to prayer. A decade before the popular author John Kabat-Zinn brought the practice of mindfulness to the general public, de Mello’s exercises showed how to become fully conscious of one’s breathing, how to experience body sensations or to listen to sounds in order to slow down, feel calmer and more relaxed, and to make contact with the present and stay there. SILENCE AND STORIES Prior to his untimely death in 1987, Tony de Mello earned international acclaim for his workshops and therapy courses which appealed to people of all religions, spiritual affiliations, agnostics and atheists. He said it was not from a lack of religion that the world is suffering, but from a lack of love and “the deepest truth is found by means of a simple story”. A talented communicator, he had wonderful stories to lead from thought to fantasy and feeling – then hopefully through feeling, fantasy and thought to silence. One of his stories went like this. “The Governor on his travels stepped in to pay homage to the Master. ‘Affairs of state leave me no time REALITY NOVEMBER 2017

for lengthy dissertations,’ he said. ‘Could you put the essence of religion into a paragraph or two for a busy man like me?’ ‘I shall put it into a single word for the benefit of your highness,’ was the answer. ‘Incredible! What is that unusual word?’ ‘Silence.’ ‘And what is the way to silence?’ ‘Meditation.’ ‘And what, may I ask, is meditation?’ ‘Silence.’” Aware that in our quest for God, we think too much, reflect too much and talk too much, De Mello believed that meeting God face to face in this life is not the rare privilege of a few mystics, but the birthright of every Christian. He said, “If you are to pray well you must know how to pray”. He used the word prayer to mean communication with God that is carried on mainly through the use of words, images and thoughts. Contemplation is communication with God that dispenses with words, images and concepts. GIVING JESUS A BAD NAME? Another story shows why he said that Jesus Christ got a bad name, because of what was said of him from pulpits. “My friend and I went to The World Fair of Religions. Not a fair trade. But the competition was fierce, the propaganda loud. At the Jewish stall, we were given handouts that said God was all compassionate and the Jews were his Chosen People. The Jews said no other people were as chosen as they. At the Muslim stall we learned that God was all merciful, and Mohammed is his only Prophet and salvation comes from listening to God’s Prophet. At the Christian stall, we discovered that God is love, and there is no salvation outside the Church. Join the Church or risk eternal damnation. On the way out I asked my friend,

‘What do you think of God?’ He replied, ‘He is bigoted, fanatical and cruel.’ Back home I said to God, ‘How do you put up with this sort of thing, Lord? Don’t you see they have been giving you a bad name for centuries?’ God said, ‘It wasn’t I who organised the fair. In fact I’d be too ashamed to visit it. ‘” Any time the topic of God came up the Master would insist that God is essentially beyond the grasp of human thought – a mystery – and so anything said of God was true, not of him, but of our concepts of him. In the book The Prayer of The Frog he listed four stages of prayer. •I talk, you listen. •You talk, I listen. •Neither talks, both listen. •Neither talks, neither listens. Silence. A woman dreamt she walked into a brand new shop in the marketplace and, to her surprise, found God. “What do you sell here?” she asked. “Everything your heart desires,” said God. Hardly daring to believe what she was hearing, the woman decided to ask for the best things a human could wish for, “I want peace of mind and love and happiness and wisdom and freedom from fear,” she said. Then as an after-thought she added. “Not just for me, for everyone on earth.” God smiled, “I think you’ve got me wrong, my dear.” He said, “We don’t sell fruits here. Only seeds.” ROLE OF IMAGINATION Fantasy prayer is communication with God that is carried on mainly through words, images and thoughts. De Mello showed how to take a scene from the life of Christ and relieve it as if were actually occurring

OF PRAYER

now. You use the imagination to create a vivid, colourful, life-size scene, and become a participant seeing everything, hearing, feeling, letting the scene come to life, even if it’s not historically correct. In fantasy you watch Jesus—the way he walks, his gestures, the expression on his face, his eyes. Hear him speak the words that are recorded in the Gospel. Be aware of the response in you. These imaginative details bring the Jesus of the Gospel alive. Your prayer deepens when you are blessed with the experience of talking to and listening to Jesus. Now one needs divine grace to let the words drop away, to listen with the heart and stay present. Silence is not the absence of sound but the absence of self. “What you need is awareness,” said the Master to the religiousminded disciple, “awareness, awareness, awareness.” “I know; so I seek to be aware of God’s presence.” God-awareness is a fantasy, for you have no notion of what God is like. Self-awareness is what you need. Later he said, “If God is Love, then the distance between God and you is the exact distance between you and the awareness of yourself.” To pray with the heart rather than the head de Mello suggests using lectio divina, a popular form of prayer which is divided into lectio (sacred reading), meditation and prayer. Having quietened yourself you read a few lines either from scripture or a spiritual book. When a word or phrase in the sacred reading appeals, you slowly repeat it to yourself, meditating, savouring the experience, until you are impelled to begin the oratio, to speak spontaneously to the Lord whose presence you feel or you

may sense the stillness that will bring you to heart listening. An old man would sit motionless for hours on end in church. One day a priest asked him what God talked to him about. “God doesn’t talk. He just listens,” was his reply. “Well then, what do you talk to him about?” “I don’t talk either, I just listen.” “The more sensitive your listening, the more silent you will become. The more silent you become the more sensitive will your listening be.” TRANSFORMATION Spiritual transformation comes through the revelations silence brings, when the self is revealed to the self. It is helpful to have spiritual direction at this stage. If you rest in the stillness and silence without continuing to sharpen your awareness, you may induce a mild trance. If you are uncomfortable with the stillness, you may rush back to the sacred reading, getting active, seeking fresh spiritual insights rather than allowing yourself to be present in the experience. Silence doesn’t come easily. There is a good reason why we say we practise meditation. It is difficult to sit in meditation for long periods, to stay in the silence when you are experiencing emptiness, boredom, dryness and it is painful.

Recognising the hunger for spirituality in people who no longer attend church, he penned Wellsprings. The book Awareness is a modern spiritual classic. Both challenge readers to drop their illusion and wake up to the reality that the highest knowledge of God is to know God as unknowable. We overemphasise the Lord, Lord. “If worship isn’t leading to the fire of adoration, isn’t leading to love, if the liturgy isn’t leading to a clearer perception of reality, if God isn’t leading to life, of what use is religion except to create more division? Anthony de Mello understood why people aren’t buying pious platitudes any more. “The Master was asked, 'What is spirituality?' He said, 'Spirituality is that which succeeds in bringing one to transformation'. 'But if I apply the traditional methods handed down by the masters, is that not spirituality?' 'It is not spirituality if it does not perform its function for you. A blanket is no longer a blanket if it does not keep you warm.' 'So spirituality does change?' 'People change and needs change. So what was spirituality once is spirituality no more. What generally goes under the name of spirituality is merely the record of past methods.'” Carmel Wynne is a life and work skills coach and lives in Dublin. For more information, visit www.carmelwynne.org

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UNDER THE MICROSCOPE

BOOK REVIEW BY BRENDAN McCONVERY CSsR

MAGDALENE HOMES – FROM MYTH TO HISTORY? The Monasteries, Magdalene Asylums and Reformatory Schools of Our Lady of Charity in Ireland, 1853-1973 by Jacinta Prunty. Columba Press, Dublin 2017. Hardback, 616 pages. € 34.99 ISBN 9781782183228

you want a simple reason why this book needed to be written, a picture on page 530 (Fig 12.6) will provide it. It depicts a May procession in which two rows of young women in veils carry a statue and banners of Our Lady. On either side of them, a row of Gardaí walks. The photograph was used by an American academic in a book on Ireland’s Magdalene laundries, which was published by a distinguished American Catholic university press, with the explanation that the police were there to prevent the women, residents of a home in the centre of Dublin, from escaping when they managed to get out for a religious procession! The records of the event in the convent however show that the Gardaí were taking part in the procession for the same religious reasons as the women. Many myths have sprung up around Irish Magdalene homes, hurtful both to the women who lived in them and to the nuns who spent their lives running them. Jacinta Prunty is an academic historian and head of the Department of History in Maynooth University. She is uniquely placed to write this massive study on two counts. Firstly

she is a Holy Faith sister, which gives her a sensitivity to the sometimes bewildering world of the convent. She is also professionally attuned to the social and religious world of 19th century Catholic Dublin. She has already written a study of Margaret Aylward, founder of Holy Faith, which began life as an organisation to promote the fostering of poor Catholic children in 1857, just four years after the arrival of the Sisters of Our Lady of Charity in Ireland. Aylward also encountered a hostile environment, and spent six months in Mountjoy prison for taking a Catholic child from a Protestant proselytising group. This is a dense volume that explores the history of the Congregation of Our Lady of Charity from its beginnings in 17th century France, through its arrival in Ireland in the mid-19th century with detailed studies of its establishments in High Park, Drumcondra, Gloucester (later Sean McDermot) Street and St Anne’s in Kilmacud. Unlike another religious order, the Good Shepherd Sisters, which branched off the same tree, all the houses of the sisters of Our Lady of Charity were self-governing, independent monasteries that observed enclosure and were bound only by an informal communion of charity to the other foundations through the mother house of Caen in France. The Good Shepherd Sisters, who arrived in Limerick in 1848, had chosen centralised government: they spread more rapidly to other

parts of Ireland, while Our Lady of Charity remained concentrated in the Dublin area. One of the myths that has sprung up around the Magdalene movement is that it was an exclusively Catholic creation of the 19th century, driven by nuns. Homes for women trying to escape from prostitution were widespread throughout Europe at the time. What was distinctive about Catholic countries was that religious sisters had chosen to dedicate themselves exclusively to this work. The first Catholic home was founded in Dundrum in 1742, and its remit included caring for women prisoners as well as prostitutes. The few nuns in Dublin at this time were closely confined by the Penal Laws, so the Catholic refuges were under the charge of individual priests and lay people. The majority were under the auspices of the Established Church. The superintendent of the Dublin City Mission in the 1840s estimated that 12 or 14 Magdalene asylums were operating in the city, and that the estimated number of women in prostitution was 1,700. It was to take control of one of these houses in Drumcondra that the sisters of Our Lady of Charity were invited to Dublin. Finding the place inadequate, they soon moved to the larger premises of High Park. Apart from a close reading of day to day history transmitted through the convent chronicles, the careful research that went into this book involved scrutiny of account books

and sifting the records for entrance and departure. The impression is sometimes given that Magdalene homes were places of virtual incarceration where women were “imprisoned” by families or local priests. These were not “mother and baby homes.” The majority of women stayed comparatively short times, and were free to leave when they wanted. For the most part, they were victims of poverty and homelessness and its many contributory causes. Many returned comparatively frequently – scarcely to be expected if conditions were truly as grim as has been alleged by the critics of the system. Equally enlightening is the story of the sisters’ attempts to both update themselves, and to adapt the standards of their houses, to the demands of a rapidly changing Ireland. Particularly interesting is the insistence of the much maligned Archbishop of Dublin, John Charles McQuaid, on adequate training for the sisters involved in the work. Dr Prunty does not try to say that everything reached ideal standards in the century and a half covered by this study. While one might desire more of a Magdalene’s view from the inside, little of this is, unfortunately, available in what can be considered as historical record. To gain access to it may require a different kind of ‘oral history’, but what we have here will help to set the record straight of what has been a very skewed narrative in modern Ireland.

D E V E LO P M E N T I N ACTION

STRUGGLING TO COPE AFTER DEVASTATING SIERRA LEONE LANDSLIDE A TEAM FROM TRÓCAIRE’S BELFAST OFFICE HAS RECENTLY RETURNED FROM SIERRA LEONE WHERE THEY MET SURVIVORS OF THE RECENT LANDSLIDE AND SAW THE DIFFERENCE DONATIONS FROM THE PUBLIC IN IRELAND ARE MAKING ON THE GROUND. Trócaire is providing trauma counselling and psycho-social support for people affected by the landslide.

BY DAVID O'HARE

People are living in very cramped temporary camps.

David O'Hare at the scene of the landslide.

REALITY NOVEMBER 2017

woke up on my first morning in Freetown, the capital of Sierra Leone, to the sound of torrential rain outside. I know that this sound must strike fear in people from Matome on the outskirts of Freetown. There was torrential rain right through the night and into the early morning of Monday, August 14 when disaster struck their community. The steep hill on which their houses were built collapsed under the weight of the rain. The eye witnesses I spoke to described hearing a loud rumble and seeing the earth, rocks and trees “rushing down the slope like water”. One woman told me “it was like the end of the world”. As I stood looking at that same hill I could see nothing left of the houses. They were either destroyed by huge rocks tearing through them or completely buried by the tonnes of mud that came down the hill. Hundreds of people lost their lives in a matter of minutes. Many were in bed as the disaster struck before 7am. The official estimate puts the number of dead at 500 which includes 122 children, but local people fear that many hundreds more bodies lie buried in the mud and will never be recovered.

LUCKY TO BE ALIVE The survivors count themselves lucky to be alive but they have faced incredibly difficult challenges since the disaster and continue to face these every day. One father I met told me of his family’s miraculous escape. He had left the house early to check on his brother who lived further down the valley as the rain was so bad: “The hill came down in two stages very close together,” he told me.

My husband’s body hasn’t been recovered and I don’t think it ever will be “The first slide woke my wife and she grabbed our four children and ran. My wife and children turned left when they got outside and ran for the trees. Our neighbours turned right. The second slide

REDEMPTORIST

PARISH MISSIONS

wiped them out. My family was lucky to make it. My youngest daughter, who is only five years old, was injured by the falling debris – that’s how close it was.” The family have lost everything but at least they are alive. LOSING LOVED ONES Many other families are still in mourning for lost loved ones. I met Fatu Kanu (50) who lost her husband in the landslide. She had been visiting her sick mother in the country and her three children were staying with relatives. Her house was completely destroyed and her husband killed. The first she heard of it was when she received a call from a friend. “My husband’s body hasn’t been recovered and I don’t think it ever will be,” she said. “I think about him every day. I don’t know what the future holds. We have lost everything and I am worried for my children.” The family are currently staying at one

of the emergency camps set up by the government in the area where the disaster struck. Facilities are very basic. Fatu tells me it is cold and with many families staying together in large tents there is no privacy. The needs of the 7,300 survivors, both physical and psychological, are enormous. Trócaire has been responding at the scene of the disaster with food, hygiene kits and psycho-social support. This support has been a lifeline for many as they struggle to come to terms with their grief. Other help that is being provided includes school kits – schoolbags, books, pens and other items that have been lost – so that children can return to school, and support for people as they try to earn a living and get back to some kind of normality. It will be a long road to recovery for the people of Matome and August 14, 2017 is a date that will never be forgotten here. To find out more about Trócaire’s work visit www. trocaire.org

Breaking the Word in November 2017

Please pray for the Redemptorist Teams who will preach the Word and for God’s People who will hear the Word proclaimed this month in:

Monageer, Co Wexford. (4th – 11th November 2017)

Staplestown, Co Kildare.

Mission preached by Derek Meskell CSsR, Denis Luddy CSsR & Clare Gilmore

Mission preached by Denis Luddy CSsR, Derek Meskell CSsR & Neill Foley

(21st – 28th November 2017)

Ballycroy, Co. Mayo.

(4th – 11th November 2017) Mission preached by Laurence Gallagher CSsR

The details above are accurate at the time of printing. If you have any views, comments or even criticisms about Redemptorist preaching, we would love to hear from you. If you are interested in a mission or novena in your parish, please contact us for further information. And please keep all Redemptorist preachers in your prayers. Fr Johnny Doherty CSsR, Email: dohertyjohnny@gmail.com Tel: +44 28 90445950

Fr Laurence Gallagher CSsR, Email: missions.novenas@redemptorists.ie Tel: +353 61 315099

CO M M E N T REALITY CHECK PETER McVERRY SJ

WHO CARES – INSTITUTIONAL INDIFFERENCE

THE POOR AND THE VULNERABLE SOMETIMES ENCOUNTER AGENCIES THAT SEEM TOTALLY INDIFFERENT TO THEIR NEED AND DESIRE TO CHANGE.

UNBELIEVABLE BUT TRUE Some people deliberately commit a crime in order to go to jail. One young man, who had spent 12 months in custody on remand, was given a suspended sentence by the courts. He went to the homeless services to get a bed for the night: they told him he needed a birth certificate or other identification before they could help him. But he had no money to get a birth certificate. He went to the welfare services to get paid, but they told him they couldn’t pay him unless he had a birth certificate. He asked how he was supposed to get a birth certificate with no money. He was told that was his problem. After three weeks living on the streets, with no money, he committed a robbery just to get back into jail where he had a roof over his head, a bed to sleep in and three meals a day. Who cares that he wanted to go back to jail? No doubt everyone in the homeless and welfare services are decent caring people. But the staff must work the system and the system is uncaring; it just keeps going on and on, round and round; it’s called ‘institutional indifference'. UNBELIEVABLE BUT TRUE A young man who had been living in private rented accommodation for several years lost his apartment when the landlord decided to sell up. Having nowhere else to go, REALITY NOVEMBER 2017

once he turns 18. It’s called 'institutional indifference'.

he approached the homeless services. They offered him a bed in a hostel, sharing a room with three drug users who were injecting heroin and smoking crack cocaine into the early hours of the morning. He had been off drugs for the past five years, but now, depressed and demoralised, surrounded by drugs every night, he felt under pressure to use them. He asked for a bed in a drug-free hostel but was told he would have to take whatever accommodation was offered. Who cares if he becomes a drug user again? Everybody and nobody - the system just keeps going on and on, even though everyone knows it’s a disaster. Institutional indifference.

UNBELIEVABLE BUT TRUE A young person was placed in a care home at the age of 12, as his parents were both drug users. During the next six years, he had a supportive environment and a happy life. Those six years cost the taxpayer about €500,000. On his 18th birthday, he was discharged with nowhere to go and no money. He presented to the adult homeless services who offered him a bed in a hostel full of drugs, with no supports. He very quickly descended into a drug and crime culture and ended up in prison before his 19th birthday. The system says that he is the responsibility of the HSE until his 18th birthday. The system says that he is nobody’s responsibility

UNBELIEVABLE BUT TRUE A young unemployed man was told by the Department of Social Protection that he would have to attend one of their courses, to increase his employability and get him back to work. If he failed to “engage fully with the service”, his welfare payments would be reduced, as they would consider he was not making sufficient effort to get a job. However, he was offered an interview for a job and asked the same department if they would give him some money to get a shirt and tie, slacks and a pair of shoes so that he could look respectable at the interview. They said they couldn’t do that. He was too embarrassed to turn up for the interview in his jeans and runners. He is still attending the course which the Department compels him to attend to help him get a job. The system doesn’t care and those who work in the system are not allowed to care. They must tick the boxes. UNBELIEVABLE BUT TRUE What have a woman who is six months’ pregnant, a man with a broken leg on crutches, and a man suffering from schizophrenia got in common? They are all put out of their homeless shelter at 9am and have to walk the streets, with nowhere to go, until it opens again at 9pm. Who cares? Caring means making a difference. Otherwise, what use is caring?

GOD’S WORD THIS MONTH WHO SITS IN THE CHAIR OF MOSES? Although the Gospels seem to treat them as if they were more or less 31ST SUNDAY IN the same, the scribes and ORDINARY TIME Pharisees were different factions who agreed on very little, except perhaps their opposition to Jesus. The Pharisees were a largely lay movement, striving to observe every detail of the Law to the best of their ability. The scribes were the learned administrative class, who copied the sacred books and were closely associated with the temple and its hierarchy. Jesus begins by making a distinction. Scribes and Pharisees hold an important place in Jewish life. By saying that they "occupy the chair of Moses", he acknowledges that they continue to fulfil Moses’ role of passing on and interpreting the Law. Some Pharisees, like Hillel the Great, taught a genuinely compassionate religion that looked on human effort with

NOVEMBER

the eye of followers of the compassionate God of Israel. Others may have been more concerned with adding extra laws drawn from the great mass of unwritten tradition. Jesus is attacking here cold, heartless legalism that makes no effort to help people to comply with its demands, and is only too ready to label them as failures if they stumble under the burden. Another distinction should be made between outward appearance and inward attitude. Every Jewish male wore a shawl with four tassels at the corners, especially at morning prayer. For certain prayers, they also wore tephillim (the Hebrew word), or phylacteries (the Greek word) on their forehead and right arm. These were small leather boxes containing a few verses from the Law and were attached to hand and forehead by leather straps. The most important verse in the tephillim was the Shema, Israel’s confession of faith. Putting on special dress for prayer can emphasise the sacredness of the prayer, but Jesus reminds his hearers that if the words

are not already on their hearts and minds, no expensive substitute can take its place. The status of the scribes and Pharisees as religious leaders gave them an important place in society: many however got so used to the privilege that they demanded it of right. The final section of the Gospel is about the use of titles by religious leaders. Matthew recognised the importance of leadership in his community, particularly the role of Peter and others in assuring good order. It is vital for them however to recognise that the source of this authority lies with the one Master and Father of the community and its unique teacher, the Christ. Anyone who wishes to live in the community of Jesus has to put aside any claim to self-importance and follow the path of Jesus that leads to the cross. Today’s Readings Mal 1:14-22, 1 Thess 2:7-9, 13 Matthew 23:1- 12

God’s Word continues on page 46

GOD’S WORD THIS MONTH I HAVE NO OIL! With the liturgical year ending shortly, our Gospel readings for the next few Sundays will 32ND SUNDAY IN focus on the end of the ORDINARY TIME age, and they will be chosen from Jesus’ last sermon on the Mount of Olives overlooking Jerusalem (Matthew 24-25). The Gospel begins with a parable. The situation in it would have been a familiar one to his listeners. Jewish weddings were held in the evening. Family and friends accompanied the groom as he went to bring his bride from her family home to her new home with his family. Her friends welcomed the visitors as they arrived and joined the procession back to his home where the wedding dinner was held. Torches or lamps were needed to provide light. According to our parable, ten girls were given this responsibility, but, as five of them forgot to

bring their oil, the procession threatened to be a disaster. The wedding is late starting: Matthew does not explain why, but observes that the girls had got tired of waiting and had fallen asleep. Suddenly around midnight, word comes that the groom is on his way. There is a frantic flurry of activity to light the lamps, only to discover that there is an oil shortage. Trying to stretch enough oil for five lamps to fill ten won’t work, so the girls are sent off to find an oil-shop, an unlikely prospect so late at night. Despite this chaotic beginning, the wedding feast gets underway. When the five girls return from their shopping expedition, the groom refuses to open the door to them, saying he does not know them. Taking the parable at its face value, this seems unlikely, not to say unfair. Their thoughtlessness might have ruined the wedding but they are relatives, probably just girls with little experience in this sort of thing. Matthew’s use of wedding banquet

imagery earlier in the Gospel should warn us that we are in the world of allegory. Wedding banquets signal above all the union of the Messianic Son of God with his people. The point of the allegory is that we do not know when the Messiah will return, any more than the girls knew when the bridegroom would come. The ten girls represent the Christian community waiting for the Messiah’s return. Matthew divides them into ‘wise and foolish’ to make one of his favourite theological points. The time between the Resurrection and the return of the Son of Man is not ‘empty time’. It gives the followers of Jesus the opportunity to prove they are his genuine disciples by devoting themselves to good works. That time is now: there is no point in waiting until the bridegroom is at the door.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH YOUR TALENTS? The opening words of the parable warn us that it is another allegory of 33RD SUNDAY IN the Kingdom and the ORDINARY TIME delay of the return of the Son of Man. It takes the example of a rich man departing on a long journey who divides his property among three individuals. Although they are called servants (an even more exact translation of the original Greek would be ‘slaves’), it is probably best to see them as people of some standing. The sums of money involved are very large: one talent would be the equivalent of $20,000 in today’s money, so the servants are given sums ranging from $100,000 to $20,000. The first two servants invest the money and get a good return on their investment. The third simply buries the one talent he has received, expecting to be able to hand it back to a master he

believes to be "a hard man, reaping where he has not sown and gathering where he has not scattered." The parable emphasises the long interval between the master’s departure and his return. As we saw last week, this suggests that the point of the parable will be how the members of the church respond to the absence of their Lord. The reckoning of accounts follows a simple pattern: each servant brings what he was given and what he has made by investing the money. The first two servants are praised and promised even greater share in their master’s good fortune. The meeting with the third servant is the longest. He begins by telling his master how he tried to be careful with what he was given. With something of a flourish of self-congratulation, he now produces it, expecting to be praised for his prudence. It comes as a shock to him that instead of praise, he receives abuse. He is called "wicked and lazy". His one talent is given to the man

with five and he is ordered to be "cast out into the darkness where there will be weeping and grinding of teeth." Like other parables in Matthew, this is a story of a tragic miscalculation. The servant with the one talent is an adult male equivalent of the five girls. It is hard not to feel some pity for an individual who is so paralysed by fear that he fails to make the most of the opportunities that are offered him. The parable closes with those chilling signals of final loss that are so common in Matthew – being cast into darkness and the grinding of teeth.

NOVEMBER

REALITY NOVEMBER 2017

Today’s Readings Wis 6:12-16, 1 Thess 4:13-18 Matthew 25:1-13

Today’s Readings Prov 31:10-13,19-20,30-31; 1 Thess 5:1-5 Matthew 25:14-30

THE REALITY CROSSWORD NUMBER 9, NOVEMBER 2017

ARE YOU READY? The story in today’s Gospel closes Jesus’ final great NOVEMBER teaching discourse. While not specifically called a parable, it comes as the climax of the series of parables of the end times. It is in many respects a sort of a key to them and to other aspects of SOLEMNITY OF CHRIST THE KING Jesus’ teaching in this Gospel. It begins with a majestic scene describing the return of the Son of Man in glory. Within a few days, Jesus will end his earthly life in the pain and humiliation of the passion. After the Resurrection, he will depart unobtrusively, bidding farewell to his own in the relative obscurity of a hillside in Galilee. His return, however, will be glorious, escorted by angels to take his seat for judgment. Before him, all the nations are gathered. Like a shepherd at evening, he separates sheep from goats. The two speeches addressed to those on either side are substantially the same: what is different is the reaction of those to whom they are addressed. The first group are the ‘sheep’: the Bible takes a positive view of sheep. The message addressed to them is positive: they are blessed by the Father, a place has been prepared for them in the Kingdom since the foundation of the world. They have passed six vital tests: they have fed the king when he was hungry, given drink to him when he was thirsty, welcomed him when he was a stranger, clothed him when he was naked or visited him when he was the sick or in prison. Christian tradition adds another act, the burial of the dead, to make these the ‘seven corporal works of mercy’. This comes as a surprise to them. They have no memory of ever having served the king in any of these ways. He reminds them that as long as they did it to the least, the most vulnerable of his brothers and sisters they did it to him. The next group to be addressed are those on the left. The same test is applied to them, but they have failed it. Again, this is news to them: they have never seen the king in any kind of need, but in failing their weak brothers and sisters, they failed the king. The scene ends with the two groups going their separate ways – the goats to eternal punishment and the just ones to eternal life. The parables of the end times have spoken continuously about the need to be ready for the mysterious coming of the Son of Man. It is now clear what readiness means. Jesus’ first sermon on a hillside in Galilee began by proclaiming beatitudes that would distinguish his disciples. His last sermon, on a hill overlooking Jerusalem, ends by enumerating six works of mercy that are a perfect match for the beatitudes. Matthew is a practical teacher, transforming the ideal into the practical. To quote St John of the Cross, "in the evening of life, we shall be judged on love."

Today’s Readings

SOLUTIONS CROSSWORD No. 7 ACROSS: Across: 1. Ararat, 5. Saigon, 10. Calvary, 11. Recover, 12. Lear, 13. Ensue, 15. Aria, 17. God, 19. Swedes, 21. Rupees, 22. Samoyed, 23. Hiccup, 25. Xanadu, 28. Roc, 30. Nile, 31. Banal, 32. Stew, 35. Emerald, 36. Thermos, 37. Fathom, 38. Samosa. DOWN: 2. Release, 3. Roam, 4. Trying, 5. Shroud, 6. Inch, 7. Obverse, 8. Scolds, 9. Friars, 14. Solomon, 16. Jesus, 18. Judas, 20. Sap, 21. Rex, 23. Handel, 24. Caldera, 26. Artemis, 27. Unwise, 28. Random, 29. Cactus, 33. Oath, 34. Helm.

Winner of Crossword No. 7 Mary Warde, Brownsgrove, Tuam, Co. Galway

ACROSS 1. Charts the fabric stiffener. (6) 5. A place for public Christian worship. (6) 10. The eighth month in the Old Roman calendar. (7) 11. A syzygy hides the Sun. (7) 12. Ancient seat of power in Ireland. (4) 13. Criminal deception. (5) 15. Sicilian volcano. (4) 17. The movement of the tide out to sea. (3) 19. Golf helper. (6) 21. Gives way. (6) 22. A form of the Hebrew name of God. (7) 23. Run or jump about playfully. (6) 25. Author of 'Paradise Lost.' (6) 28. The day before the first woman. (3) 30. Songbird to engage in harmless fun. (4) 31. A formal statement of Christian beliefs, especially by Apostles. (5) 32. Bend from a vertical position. (4) 35. Smears with oils as part of a religious ceremony. (7) 36. Look closely at pectins. (7) 37. Movable joins for doors and gates. (6) 38. Body of water that parted in the Bible. (3,3))

DOWN 2. Taught privately. (7) 3. Pink to blood-red gemstone. (4) 4. The capital of Zimbabwe. (6) 5. Winged angelic being and innocentlooking child. (6) 6. Unpleasant or repugnant in appearance. (4) 7. First letter of a sentence or name. (7) 8. Egyptian Catholics (6) 9. State again as a summary. (6) 14. Pardon or forgive a sin. (7) 16. French city and mustard. (5) 18. '... Obstat' - no objection. (5) 20. Snake-like fish. (3) 21. May I eat this tuber. (3) 23. The City of the Tribes. (6) 24. Italian pioneer of long-distance radio transmission. (7) 26. Saint of Lisieux. (7) 27. Four score and ten. (6) 28. Wipes out. (6) 29. Even stranger and more frightening. (6) 33. Comfortable, warm and cosy. (4) 34. Not new, second-hand. (4)

Entry Form for Crossword No.9, November 2017 Name: Address: Telephone:

Ezek 34:11-12, 15-17; 1 Cor 15:20-26, 28; Matthew 25:31-46 All entries must reach us by November 30, 2017 One €35 prize is offered for the first correct solutions opened. The Editor’s decision on all matters concerning this competition will be final. Do not include correspondence on any other subject with your entry which should be addressed to: Reality Crossword No. 9, Redemptorist Communications, Unit A6, Santry Business Park, Swords Road, Dublin 09 X651

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