Bloom Magazine - Mar. '18 by Bloom Magazine

Brought to You by redflowersCARE

Mar. 2018

Contents 04

Black Bodies Need Love

We Gon’ Be Alright: Blackness & Mental Health

How We Practice Self Care at a PWI

Mind, Body, & Soul: A Self-Care Journey

Q&A: On Therapy with Shaquan Read

Ain’t I Deserving of Healthcare

Open Letters on Body & Self-Image

Your Whitewashed Commercial Wellness Box Won’t Define Me

In Living Color: An Interview with Temar France

Horoscope Forecast: Pisces Season

bloom Contributors

Editor-in-Chief’s Letter

Black Bodies N d Love By Jessica Innis

hat does it mean to live in a black body? When people ﬁrst see me, what do they think? Who do I see when I look at myself in the mirror? Do I see what society sees or do I see what I want to see, a dirty, emotionless n--ga woman who crosses between a Mammy and a Jezebel or a human being desperately looking for love, care, and happiness? There have been many times when I’ve asked myself, “How can anyone love me when I don’t love myself?” And for that reason, I stress that black bodies need love too. According to the Center for Disease Control & Prevention, 12.8% of black people reported having depression, which is the highest amongst all racial groups. Additionally, the National Institute of Mental Health stated that over 70% of women will experience depression throughout their lifetime. Assumingly, the study focused on society’s gender norm binary. With this data, the person at most risk for depression is the black woman. Bell Hooks in Sisters of the Yam stated, “Black people are wounded in our hearts, minds, bodies, and spirits.” She says that these wounds are created by white supremacy, racism, sexism, and a capitalistic economic system that downplays our role in society. We have become terrorized psychologically by low self-esteem. Shaquan Read, a therapist interviewed in a later article, voices that black people suffer from traumatic stress disorder in regards to racism. Unlike PTSD, the event of racism is constantly occurring so the ability to work past it is rather impossible. Why are black bodies not being loved? Black bodies are not being loved not just in

is that? After speaking to Ms. Hood who runs the Pan-African Museum in Springﬁeld, MA, it boiled down to identity. Each African ethnic tribe has its own history, beauty, and culture. However, country division lines were formed during colonization. Non-aﬃliated tribes were grouped together by European conquerors. They soon created power infrastructures within Africa, the Caribbean, Brazil, and the United States. Pitting blacks against each other, forcibly separating communities, and enslaving millions were all underhanded tactics to be and remain superior. Today, radios in Senegal still have French people voicing how awful blacks are in the United States. U.S news, movies, and television shows either depict a single-sided story of what it means to be a black body or some other form of misrepresentation. And because of these representations, black bodies continue to be unloved. They continue to be seen as less than and unworthy. It’s sadly comical that I have to say that black bodies need love, but this is the reality that we live. It’s the reality I live. No human body should feel like they must do or accomplish anything to be worthy of love. By simply existing, each human should be valued and guaranteed love. If love feels like it needs to be earned, it is not real love. If love requires conditions, that love is a fabrication. Not to stick to heteronormative relationships, but I have heard many stories where men have said that they cannot love a black woman if she is dark-skinned, plussize, more educated, or too hard-working. I have heard of stories of men who said they cannot love a black woman who wears her

they cannot love a black woman but share many features similar to a black woman. How black bodies look, move, and be are loved in a conditional sense. Such love can only be fake love. What needs to be done is not something that is easily accomplished. What we need is more self-care, self-love, and self-actualization. What makes this most diﬃcult is best said in Nina Simone’s quote, “

” During a poetry reading presented by Zoe Flowers, author of From Ashes to Angel’s Dust: A Journey Through Womanhood, Zoe said that the mind does not have the ability to separate today from yesterday or tomorrow. We continue to live out that hurt, and the only way to fight against it is to retrain the mind. Fight the negatives with the positives. For this reason, I admire the work of the Dear Black Women project, an affirmation movement for black women by black women. Positive affirmations have the ability to shift your internal perspective. The more you say something, the more you begin to believe it. This holds true for negative thoughts as well. Personally, as someone who has gotten wrapped up in self-doubt, it is sometimes hard to believe the positive things that come out of my own mouth. Thus, healing circles in which black bodies come together to support and love each other combined with self-acceptance hold tremendous power. We are not alone, and we never have to be. For all of you who have come across this publication, I’d like to welcome you to where the sprouted seed along with budding flowers have begun to bloom. Opportunities to restart and refresh are endless. You may not know that you needed this amongst all the frustration and exhaustion that you experience on a daily basis, but that’s okay. As I

spoke to Moriah Leigh about how she had formed Rooted Essence Dance & Healing, I realized that many of us are trying to achieve similar goals through different methods. We are all searching for happiness. We are all searching for a healing space. We are all searching to be loved whether or not of our own conscious decision-making. Black bodies need love in the past, in the present, in the future, both now and forever. If someone would like to argue against this statement, then they are not welcomed into this garden. This haven was designed to empower, protect, and engage those who struggle and ﬁght against a society that captures only one light of who these people are. Here, you matter. Here, you are not alone. Here, you are loved unconditionally. Here, we shall restart. Here, we will build anew.

We gonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; be alright: blackness & Mental Health By Chimamaka Nnodim-Amadi

I n America, the only time racism is

discussed or addressed is during history classes leading many to believe it is a vehicle of hate from the past. In the United States, racism is alive and well and more complex than ever. Racism is not always the Klan riding through your neighborhood or someone shouting a slur at you. Racism is when a white woman moves her purse closer to her body because a black person sits next to her on the train. Indirect and direct racism have contributed to the increasing depression rates in black communities. Indirect and direct racism converge in the form of negative racial stereotypes, which often police the experiences of black people and alter the way they are viewed by the world at large. Racism 8

is often classed as an environmental stressor with real health outcomes. Racism can alter the way in which black people operate in their daily lives both culturally and institutionally. Institutional racism has been shown to hinder the progression of racial groups especially the black community. It does not allow for promotion of any kind and creates a false narrative by depicting black people as lazy and incapable when the government created speciďŹ c legislation in order to keep them from achieving certain goals. Institutional racism makes it diďŹ&#x192;cult for black children to compete with white children. This public education imbalance is a form of de-facto segregation, which affords white students and students from communities with high socioeconomic status

more opportunities than their counterparts in low income public schools. This socioeconomic disparity can depress students and negatively affect academic performance. Multiple generations in poverty has been shown to further depress achievement and acts as another barrier to economic mobility. The students of these low-income schools are often exposed to broken-down buildings and reduced budgets, which do little to encourage the students at these schools. Studies conducted by Rothe found that low-income students often lack adequate housing, which gives them fewer chances to ﬁnd quiet places to study creating a greater disadvantage outside of the classroom. These students are more likely to change homes and schools frequently. With all this instability, their academic performances suffer greatly and at higher proportions than their white counterparts. Low income white students are more likely to be integrated into middle-class schools and are less likely to attend public schools with majority low income students. Also, there is a great importance placed on education in the United States especially in immigrant populations. Academic isolation disproportionally affects black students. The bias is not limited to those outside the ethnic group but exist within the groups themselves. This can be seen in the dynamics between recent immigrants and the black population of the United States. The white public has long viewed black people and black bodies as expendable leaving deep scars in the African-American psyche. Even recent immigrants from African countries have suffered when the burden of blackness was thrusted upon them. A study conducted by Williams et.al. saw an increased 12-month risk of depression in Caribbean male immigrants with marked differences in the generational immigrant status. Male Caribbean third generation immigrants have marked increases in 12 month and lifetime psychiatric risks as compared to ﬁrst and second generation

male immigrants. The study concluded that increased exposure to minority status has continual and marked detrimental effects to mental health. The immigrants and their subsequent generations get further from their own culture for the sake of assimilation into popular American culture. Sacrificing their culture for the “norm” can create a sense of loss and landlessness. The disconnect from their culture for the sake of an imaginary concept of Americanness only aids to their sense of loss and inequality. The new-found minority status of African and Caribbean recent immigrants is often the source of chronic stress in these populations. There is dual pressure to avoid being marked as an other or outsider; while at the same distancing themselves from blackness can often drive these populations into isolation. The immigrants arrive to America thinking it is the land of equality and opportunity. Instead, they are greeted by macroaggressions and xenophobia. The continual bombardment of ignorance creates a wall between Black Americans and Africans. The Africans view the Black Americans as lazy because that is what they are told by mainstream America, meanwhile they themselves are read by Americans as black. They are in a constant battle for authenticity in American culture. There is a clear societal divide between blackness and foreignness that often goes undiscussed. Recent immigrants are often not granted full blackness by the black community and struggle to find their role in American society. While the United State prides itself on being a country of immigrants, there is a clear push back against non-white immigrants. America has a difficult time acknowledging various African, Caribbean, and West Indian identities and instead lumps them together into the catch all black category without explaining to them what it means to be black. Most of these immigrants are unfamiliar with the concept and performativity of American blackness creating clear rifts between im-

migrant populations and black populations. Immigrants are often as unfamiliar with blackness and being a minority. Because of this, they face chronic stressors. The intra group racism between immigrants and the black population has real outcomes for immigrant mental and physical health. The impact of these forms of racism depend largely on colorism, socioeconomic status, and coping mechanisms. Everyday incidences of racism often act as a chronic stressor. These life events due to racism have been linked to increased incidences of depression in the United States. Immigration itself can be an acute stressor and life event for many people and lead to emotional disturbance, especially in the children of vulnerable populations. Children are often more vulnerable to emotional instability due to immigration as their parents are taking care of the details of the immigrating and can become too overwhelmed to provide emotional comfort to their child. Then, later environmental factors can trigger these emotions and memories. Escaping trauma in their homelands often leaves immigrants exposed to more trauma and stressors. Arriving with education degrees that are largely useless in America force them to work menial jobs that are below their qualiﬁcations in order to survive. In working these jobs, they often gain employment at the expense

of other black people creating more tension between the two. Discrimination from white and black populations have extensive effects on the mental health of immigrants. The children of immigrants can acclimate quicker and easier to American culture compared to their parents and older relatives. Often older people lack the cognitive and developmental ﬂexibility needed to acclimate quickly. Older generations run the risk of being isolated in which they continue to embrace their native cultures and traditions, while looking down on American culture. Immigrant children are also at a higher risk for developing these conditions which have cultural consequences. Immigrating requires cultural losses and traumas which later develop into disorders that impair cognitive function. Racial discrimination alters the way in which African Americans can socialize and view themselves. Racism is often stressful and often has many psychological effects. According to Dwight-Johnson et.al., AfricanAmericans have displayed more symptoms of depression than any other minority group. The increased rate of depression is especially seen in African American women who are subject to racism, poverty, and sexism. African-American women, while ranked among the highest educated group, are also the least socially and economically mobile. Black women are among the nation’s most unloved and mistreated. Their suffering is often ignored due to a superhuman stereotype that invalidates them as individual people capable of more than supporting others unconditionally. Black women are socialized always place others above themselves, especially the males in their families. There is often no one there to take care of them when they fall short. Black women must always be caretakers and mothers without being human beings ﬁrst. Depression in black women is understudied, misdiagnosed and resources for treatment often unavailable. It is black women who live through the trauma of seeing their

children and children who resemble theirs gunned down in the streets. It is black women who then are immediately asked without a chance to grieve whether they can forgive the murderer of their child, while at the same time ignoring their pain. It is black women who face racism not only from white people but from their own racial groups. In being told they are diﬃcult to love black women have stopped loving themselves. These issues are often why depression in black women has such a high comorbidity rate with post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and substance abuse. The rate increases drastically when black women who face domestic abuse are factored. According to Carrington, these underdiagnoses have severe consequences for black women with increasing rates of suicides and self-reported self-harm. Diagnosis is often diﬃcult as conventional symptoms of depression present themselves differently in black women and are culturally different. These differing symptoms and a culture misunderstanding about mental illness could hinder a better understanding of depression in black women. Religion is the center of the black community and instead of seeking treatment through a doctor, most black women seek spiritual counsel when dealing with depression. The rate at which black people are being murdered by law enforcement is startling and triggering. The media forces millions of black people nationwide to watch different versions of themselves be murdered on every platform every single day. On Facebook videos of black men, women, and children being shot for the crime of being black are shared careless across hundreds of timelines. Watching these events unfold is triggering for black people; the sense of fear and hopeless they send throughout the community cannot be ignored. The hopelessness is echoed in the words of black children like Mike Brown who was murdered by Darren Wilson in 2014, who expressed to his mother that he did not see a point in attending col-

lege because they were just going to “shoot him in the street”. The transition from human being to hashtag is a deeply disturbing and traumatizing event in the black community. It is traumatizing to the mothers who bring these children into the world and face continual discrimination for the sake of their children only to see them murdered on cell phone screen after cell phone screen. These deaths become major life events for black people across the country. It changes the way the young children are socialized and how they view themselves. The continual exposure to these deaths is seen in black women who have a 2.5% higher rate of bipolar depression than white women. Watching their children die in the media has also increased the prevalence of lifetime mood disorders in black women. Black lives matter as a phrase is a reminder to help cope with the stress of witnessing a genocide live, while white people look you in the eye and gaslight you. Black people live in a world where white fear matter more than black people’s right to live. The prevalence of mental illness in the black community needs to be studied and understood. Instead of telling black people to love their aggressors, it is up the nation to love black people. Chronic racial stress is raising the prevalence of mood disorders and altering the way black people socialize amongst themselves and white America.

How We practice “Listening to music to take me back to a soulful time like El Debarge, Carl Carlton, etc., going to the gym when I decide to go, and writing any problems that I am having then burning the paper as a means to rid myself of that energy.” ~Gelonnie Smith “Blocking off four hours to do my hair on Saturdays, thinking things through, focusing on myself, and sleeping in.” ~Destiny Wiley-Yancy “Cleaning up, doing my hair, eating a lot, going shopping, and annoying my mom.” ~Emonii Robinson

self-care at a pwi “Surrounding myself with people I can be authentic and 100 with.” ~Tiara Ebony Austin “Writing in my diary, watching my favorite YouTubers, and listening to music.” ~Nybria Acklin “Talking to my friends, listening to podcasts like ‘The Read’ and ‘The Friendzone’, and window shopping.” ~Mirschille Valmond “To relax, I like to chill in my room, read, and do yoga.” ~Aseeli Coleman

A Self-Car

By Nichole

Since 2017, I have been practicing mind, body, and soul. This activity allowed me to truly hoan on important growth areas in my life.

MIND

BODY

SOUL

On days that were dedicated to MIND, I challenged my mind and met my reading goals. I read in French, English, and Spanish. Sometimes, when I did not want to read I would dedicate this day to getting things off my to-do list.

BODY was achieved through physical activity and getting the right amount of nutrients for my body. Often, we are so busy in our daily lives, that we do not realize how much we neglect our bodies. Therefore, I planned that on BODY days I would dedicate an entire day to sleeping early, intaking high amounts of protein, doing some sort of physical activity, and washing my hair.

I spent SOUL days being grateful and ďŹ nding ways to fuel my happiness in whatever way happiness looked like. Most SOUL days, I prayed and reďŹ&#x201A;ected on my forthcomings. SOUL was probably my favorite day because it was truly all about being creative and sitting down with

re Journey

e Rondon

Ode to the Medusa in Me By Steph Dinsae At the age of 3 or 4 I remember being a free child In Daycare I would run wild Whenever I could Scraping my Bare knees against brick walls Had there been no conﬁne My knees would have been ﬁne You would think the sting of rubbing Alcohol would keep me bound But...it didn’t Like me, my hair would also run wild Yearn to be free Stretch to the sky to claim that agency Imagine a wild child’s surprise each time I Was called to come be still So my mom could tame my hair She tried so hard to tame it Only successful temporarily Because of my hair’s wild nature I earned myself the nickname Medusa In ode to her intense, passionate locs So many years have passed and for fun, My mom will still call me Medusa sometimes Confession: I still like to run Free and my hair as well Little did I know how lucky I would be to have been Named after her as a child What I’ve realized since then is that Medusa is synonymous to Black woman And...Black woman is synonymous to monster Monster -- because they can’t tame her When she shoots them daggers as gazes Naturally they can’t take it Call her gaze an attitude Call a hurt ego being turned to stone They tell Medusa she has too much

Backbone They figure they’ll call her terrifying Since her confidence Is jarring Of course they don’t expect a Black woman, a Medusa Like me To own her pride They want Medusa, to Shrivel up and die Shrink up and make Them feel better about themselves Give them all the space And leave none for us Which is evidently why They reduced my namesake To a Gorgon A bitter, vicious thing A monster easily defined Why are they unaware I, like Medusa, am not someone to be confined Why else does my hair, like hers Not fit into neat straight lines Medusa knows best that her hair Has a mind of its own Defiant and wanting to be left alone Away from their harm, their danger Her body or her hair or her mind Is no stranger To the slander they bring So I, like Medusa, use my gaze, my lack of Response to protect me My hair is wild, I am wildi And because they fail to tame me In my entirety, her entirety, in our entirety They tear down pieces of our appearance Collage them together to create the narrative they want For us

And we shock them with our brilliance Since that narrative does not come from us The glory of our story Reduces their narrative to a mere phrase They’re BOUND to feel their lies coil around them like snakes Wrapped around their body BINDING them to their disgrace There’s no wonder why they feared Medusa’s hissing mane No wonder why it was subject to be tamed My hair is wild, I am wild Medusa, Black woman, I, am not someone to be conﬁned They knew their narrative would be dismantled They knew it was only a matter of time. See, they attempted to Handcuff us to the labels of Scary, Imposter, Bitter, Vicious And in return, we only bounce back more ambitious So if the deﬁnition is “A Black woman becoming stronger” By all means, call me, Medusa, ….. a monster

Q. Tell us your name and your age.

A. My name is Shaquan

Read, and I am 38 years old.

Q. Please state your occupation and the location of work.

A. I am a therapst at Clark University which is located in Worcester, MA

Q. How did you decide to be a therapist?

A. I was originally an en-

gineer. In college, I enjoyed working with students as a Residential Assistant. It’s a lot of counseling and mediation without being a therapist. After graduation, I worked in Reslife, but higher ed required a higher degree. I chose counselling. I did a lot of work in the Boston Center focusing on trauma in the body and the mind. Also, focused on trauma associated with racism.

Q. How did your identity

play a role in this decision?

A. While working at Nich-

ols College, we had a week of diversity and inclusion. After doing some research, I came across cross-development identity model regarding community and identity work. I grew up in the Bronx. I did not go to the best school. They were 35 kids in class overcrowded. There’s a lack of access to information relating to culture and history. Living in very white spaces even now, I’m always trying to ﬁt in and understand more about myself. Most of my research comes from a selﬁsh place of wanting to understand myself. As black folks, we haven’t had the conversation before about us moving in the world.

Q. Do you think mental

health and wellness is and stigmatized in the black community and if so, why do you think that’s the case?

A. We don’t say when we need help. We don’t want to be labeled crazy. Black people label themselves as stronger than mental

health issues. They are supposed to be better than depression. There are many notions and hurdles to getting help. Recently, it has becoming more transparent and a part of everyday conversation. Students I see are exceptionally depressed, anxious, lonely, and disconnected. It’s very sad and so prevalent all over the place.

Q. According to NIMH,

black people have the highest rate of depression at 12.8%, what are your thoughts on this?

A. Looking at experiences,

physical and sexual trauma, the thought is to get past the experience they had in the past. Racism is a constant assault. You can encounter microagressions everyday living in the world. With no forseeable change in the future, we hve traumatic stress disorder in comparison to PTSD. Black identities experience racist things on a daily basis. You can think of this like a balloon. When you put a balloon in water, it naturally

ﬂoats. You can’t see past it. Now if you hold it down, you can see past it but only temporarily. This can be codeswitching, monitoring your environment, etc. If you take your eye off the ballon, it comes back up. It usually deﬂates over time, but there’s not always space for it to do so. That statistic is probably higher as you can be a fully functioning individual and be depressed. All depression doesn’t look like someone closed off in a room.

dialogue around racism with empathy. It can provide a healing component and give a sense of hope having that solid relationship with someone willing and engaging. It’s deﬁnitely clearer with a person of color. You don’t have to do that extra work, and I do think it is helpful.

Q. Do you think it’s im-

therapy can be a resource. Accessibility depends on the place. They tend to have trouble navigating, picking, and choosing where they ﬁt. They want to be with students of color but feel unseen and unheard because of their sexuality, they’re pushed out as outsiders. Because of this, they experience anxiety and depression.

portant for black identities to have black or person-of-color therapists, and how do you think this may shape their experience?

A. It is magical to have

a black therapist. I’m still seeking one. When students come, I see a sigh of relief. They feel like they can say things openly and not have to explain. They don’t have to wonder what I’m thinking, which I usually say anyways. It’s nice not to have to explain your identity to your therapist. We did cultural competency for our staff. Many named that sexuality comes up the most. For me, race and ethnicity comes up in almost every session. Our staff is all white except for me. It may be a great resource to have a white, woke clinician to provide

Q. What are your thoughts on black queers and accessibilty to therapy and healing spaces?

A. I think for black queers,

Q. What are your goals or hopes in regards to mental health and wellness services in the future?

A. Some hopes and goals I

racial marriage, I wish there was more space for people to explore their identities and provide support for parents having conversations about race and ethnicity to prep them for society. Lastly, I’d also love to provide post-partum mental health services for women of color.

Q. What is some advice

can you give those considering therapy and why they should consider it as an option?

A. I think it’s a lot of work.

It’s not easy. Remember it’s a relationship. Not all of them are easy. It’s okay to shop around. Help the person to help you. Let them know if they are asking the right questions. The job of the therapist is to be on the journey with you. It’s not to get rid of but help manage. It’s okay to ask for work. It’s important to check your level of awareness, notice yourself, pay atention to your emotions, and understand when you feel that certain emotions are being triggered. It gives you info about yourself.

have is that with the current admin that services aren’t taken away with changes in healthcare and the services continue. I’d love to provide therapy for black women. Also, as someone in a inter-

By Nyri Wells

W hat does it mean

to be given access? Accessibility refers to the ability of individuals to receive healthcare. To properly consider access we must discuss acceptability, or the likelihood of an individual accepting care based off of their circumstances. Healthcare, in general, is often inaccessible and unacceptable in many communities 24

of color. For our purposes, we are concerned with black identifying women. A seemingly unexplored aspect of mental healthcare is preventative and meditative care for conditions ranging from eating disorders to depression. The delicacies of institutionalized racism accompanied with poor health care infrastructure allows for black women to be systematically removed

from the mental healthcare discussion. Within this article, I would like to blatantly deďŹ ne healthcare infrastructure to include the notions of quality, accessibility, and acceptability. These characteristics are cyclical in nature and often overlap, thus make it incredibly diďŹ&#x192;cult to tackle a mental health issue without an intersectional approach. Quality is a charac-

teristic that is difficult to define and measure. This can lead to inconsistencies in the way the efficiency of a health system is determined. And yet, a broad way to consider quality is to acknowledge if a population’s needs are met and in what timeframe does that occur. The level of quality is often determined by an individual’s level of access. For most individuals, socioeconomic status and location are key determinants of access. Simply put, those in rural areas are often left bereft of adequate medical personnel. This makes access to specialized healthcare, especially mental healthcare, more difficult to attain. Generally speaking, well-equipped hospitals and specialized medical centers are commonplace in cities and less widespread in remote communities. Of course it is not simply that rural areas are “bad” and cities are “good”. Thinking in absolutes is unhelpful in this area of healthcare. While geography plays a large role in the quality of healthcare, socio-economic background is a much larger determinant. If quality is lacking, then it becomes unacceptable to assume the health service being provided. This goes to speak for the overall accessibility of the service being provided. I would like to assert that health, itself, lies on a spectrum. Sickness can be

literally defined by ill health, but the definition should come to include the factors that lead to sickness. Such factors being class, race, or sex. When we talk about the disparities we see in healthcare it is helpful to look at accessibility, quality, and acceptability between races and sexes. About 7.5 million African Americans are diagnosed with mental illness, and possibly 7.5 million more remain undiagnosed. Black women, despite entering the workforce at exceedingly high rates are noticeably absent from ongoing research on mental health. This begs the bigger question: Are there underlying politics behind research that are preventing tangible improvements in mental illness related issues? The quick answer is: YES. Like many other professions, research is a job that must be funded in order to be carried out. Black women fall victim to a theory known as funding bias where the results of scientific studies support the goals of the research’s financial sponsor. When funding bias is carried out by large-scale establishments, like drug companies, the results are more likely to benefit the sale of the sponsor’s product. Black women are the victims of misogyny and racism at the same time, and are often not considered marketable or profitable.

While Black women are largely impacted by mental illness, the overall utilization of health services is low. This is largely due to the concept of acceptability, which sometimes presents itself as stigma. Acceptability, as an idea, is comprised of the cultural and social factors that allow for individuals to accept healthcare. Acceptability is a delicate prospect that interacts closely with socio-political occurrences like, racism, prejudice, and sexism. When these types of negative experiences occur black women are unfortunately positioned to encounter low-paying jobs, long periods of intense stress, and other health issues, which can facilitate the development of mental illness. We ﬁnd the likelihood of developing mental illness presented more in older Black women due to the presence of chronic illness, caregiver fatigue, loneliness, grief, and violent events (i.e abuse). The stigma associated with receiving healthcare among black women is often negative and heavily impacts the severity and longevity of coping mechanisms. These beliefs that are often perpetuated by society can mislead an individual who ﬁnds themselves suffering from common symptoms from obtaining care. The connotations associated with mental illness exist de25

spite the actual relationship a person has with mental illness. A person who finds it unacceptable to accept health care due to stigmas or personal circumstance, especially socio-economic status, will be less likely to seek care or counseling. Another component to the discussion surrounding mental illness in Black women involves availability. Health services exist on a first come first serve basis which positions many individuals to slip through the cracks of a fractured system. For clarity, availability, refers to the ability of healthcare to be physically accessible within a timely fashion. Health services should be effectively concentrated with accessible facilities that serve the complicated socio-economic classes in both urban and rural areas. In considering availability, the individuals being served must be the main focus. With the lack of actual resources present, we can see that black women are not the main focus. When these four aspects of healthcare systems are nonexistent, the overall quality of a system is diminished, which makes it harder for individuals to accept healthcare. The United States lacks an efficient healthcare system. This seems even more true as the current administration continues to slash budgets 26

for important organizations. These budgets fund research, outreach, and education services that may aid in closing the gap we see when comparing mental illness in black women to any other race or sex. Poverty, institutionalized racism, and misinformation are the leading causes of the noted discrepancies. In many cases, socio-economic status makes it unacceptable for individuals to do so. This often occurs because stigmas seem to impact different classes with varying severity. Those in rural places have reduced access to services, especially those that require specialized physicians, which makes healthcare unavailable to them. Because these factors are inhibited by economic and political factors,

the overall quality of the system decreases. There are efforts being made to aid those in need through conducting research, education initiatives, and community based efforts however these efforts are not occurring as often as they should.

To The Girls Who Unknowingly Triggered Me By Giving Me a Compliment: First of all I want to thank you. This is probably a weird way to open this letter consider the title. Even though your compliments had a bad impact, I know that your intentions were good and, I do appreciate that you were trying to complimenting me. As Black Women, it is so important that we up- lift each other and I know that that is what all of you were trying to do, so thank you. In the same way that not all black people are the same, our experiences, our thoughts, and our ideals are not the same. For you having other point out to you that look “thick” a n d “healthy” is probably a great compliment but, for me hearing being called “thick” and “healthy” are the most triggering things for me to hear. It translates into being called fat. At the time that you said those things to me, I had recently gained a lot of weight and I was really insecure about that weight gain so having it pointed out made matters worse. While I did play off both of the intended compliments, the thoughts turned into action much later. I have been dealing with body image issues, disordered eating, and an eating disorders since I was 11, was almost hospitalized for anorexia when I was 14. Due to the lack of access to therapy, my food habits changed but my mindset didn’t. Thinking about it in hindsight, in high school my anorexia turned into in EDNOS, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, which I think just had its name changed to OSFED, Other Specified Feeding or Eating Disorder. I figured out how to control food and appear healthy (although my best friend from high school caught on to this). Things stabilized when I got to college until the overeating that caused the weight gain and then the current relapse that I’m trying to work through and get out of. I think to say that my relationship with food is complicated is an understatement but that has been my experience. Growing up in spaces where I was taught that thin was the ideal, I never wanted boobs or hips or a butt or to be curvy. Thick was the exact opposite of what I consider to be my “ideal body”. That is one way that being black while also growing up around mostly white people and in the ballet world gets tricky. I do not blame you at all. I want to make that very clear. Those comments may have stayed and festered in my head since then but know I do not blame you at all. You had no way of knowing my past. Yes I’m trying to recover from an AN relapse but there are other deeply rooted factors that are contributing to this and this is not and never is about food. You are not to be blamed at all. I’ve made similar unintentional mistakes and have accidentally triggered others, so please don’t feel like it’s just you. This is just a reminder to be careful of what you say to others and check in with your friends, especially your ‘strong friend’ because you don’t know what they’ve been through or are going through. I think a lessons can be learned from this and this can begin a very necessary conversation. As a black community, we need to let go of the assumption that all black women have the same wants, needs, desires, ideal, etc. Not all black women want to be thick. Black people aren’t immune to eating disorders that aren’t binge eating disorder, which is usually associated with us. There are black people with anorexia, bulimia, and the long list of other eating disorders or even just have unhealthy relationships with food and have body image issues. I can never emphasize enough, we need to continue having open discussions about mental health, in general. Rather than dwell on the negative, let’s talk about the positives. Y’all were trying to spread love from one magical black girl to another. As a community that kind of support and love is uplifting and important since as Malcolm X said “the most disrespected person in america is the black women, the most unprotected person in america is the black woman, the most neglected person in america is the black woman.” Since they (society as a whole) won’t protect us we gotta collectively protect ourselves as a community. By continuing to complimenting each other, continue supporting each other, continue leaning on each other, hearing about each other’s experiences, and loving one another as well as ourselves when this world tells us not to and doing so many other positive things, we are able to maintain our #BlackGirlMagic.

To The Doctors, Family Members, and Media Channels That Ruined My Health: Since I was young, I always struggled with my weight. I was quickly overweight and had boobs by the third grade. I was called names since pre-school even by my teachers. The worst was in 7th grade when this boy named Tom called me a ‘whale’. I cried. It hurt so much. I was very depressed by how I looked both by my skin color and my weight. Doctors kept telling me that if I continued to gain weight, I would get Diabetes, High Blood Pressure, and High Cholesterol especially since it ran in my family. The preliminary check was always if there was a line across the back of your neck. This indicated to them that blood tests need to be done . At that time, my mom woke me every morning to do Taebo. She thought that if she did it with me it wouldn’t be as bad. I woke up every morning two hours before my bus , so I would have enough time to workout, shower, and eat. I didn’t lose any weight though. The only time I lost any weight was when I danced to my Ciara CD in my living room. I learned to love dance even more especially since we couldn’t afford the lessons I haf anymore. Dance seemed like the best escape. I still wasn’t losing weight fast enough. I was still big. I then got tested for thyroids to see if that’s why I wasn’t losing any weight. I had to lose weight. The doctors said so. Mommy told me so. TV didn’t show that any who was big was beautiful. I didn’t want to be ugly. I lost confidence in myself. No one will ever like me because I look like this. Fuck! In high school, the doctor had me to go to the school nurse for three weeks to get my blood pressure checked. He wanted to verify whether or not I had high blood pressure. I tried to slow my heartbeat. I was afraid to fail the test. Multiple diabetes testing. All came out false. Doctor once said that the visceral fat was suffocating my liver. You might die at 18, but here I am. Bullied again in 9th grade. New school. “Why am I even here?” I began to ask myself. There’s hardly any black people here. Ugh I didn’t want to be alive anymore. I was tired. I was so done with being judged by how I looked. Mind you I did a sport for three years. I was one of the most active people in gym class. For the most part, I only ate salads and sandwiches for lunch. Didn’t lose any weight. Gained more. I wasn’t losing any weight. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!!! Dance. Just Dance. Through dancing I can lose weight. I lost 10lbs. in a week via FitnessPal starvation. The net calories is supposed to be 1200. I burned everything. Calorie deficit. They do this on the biggest loser, right? So, this is okay, but why am I so hungry? I’m starving. It’s okay. I’m losing weight now. People say I look good. Mommy praised me. If I keep this up, I’m good. False! I got hungry. I started binging. I fell off te wagon. College years, I became obsessed with the gym. The excessive food made me gain weightlike crazy. Why is everything buffet style! I just want to be desirable. Why doesn’t anyone like me? I don’t believe anyone finds me attractive. I’ll forever be alone. Others are losing weight faster than me. Each Thanksgiving Dinner is about how I gained weight. I didn’t want to gain weight. It just happened. Why are all of you judging me?!! I’m aware that I’m fat! I don’t need you to tell me! Slim thick is in, but I’m bulging in my arms, thighs, to rso, and all over. I look nothing like any of these people. I don’t even want to eat anymore, but I’m so hungry. I love to workout, but some days I’m exhausted and depressed and I can’t go. If I don’t go though, I’ll continue to look like this. To this day, my relationship with food is forever strained. I have self-image and body issues that I’m still working through. I fear and sometimes avoid going to the doctor’s office. Seeing my family stresses me out. I sometimes still mentally calculate calories. I workout all the time, more so as a destressor currentlly. I’m coming to love my body and accepting that it’s mine. It’s who I am big, small, or in-between. We need to have more positive conversations about bodies especially black bodies, how they are perceived in media, how we talk about them in regards to health, whether at home or the doctors. Many people have body insecurities which is a result on how our society obesseses over looks. I hope that we can be more mindful and think about how words and actions shape the mental health of others in regards to body image.

Your Whitewashed Commercial Wellness Box Won’t Define Me By Kristina Mereigh, @livelaughboss

Hey, I’m Kris. For those of you that

don’t know me, I have been a public health professional for the past six years. Currently, I am the director of wellness services at a prestigious college in the Northeast and a wellness consultant for colleges, businesses and startups. Contrary to popular belief, one does not become a wellness director by getting a degree in eating kale, and/or reaching the heights of nirvana. Wellness programming has a basis in public health theory and should always be based in evidence, not the most current health fad. In my department, we pride ourselves in being holistic; by integrating general medical services with acupuncture, nutrition and one-on-one consultations. We also provide health education and conduct research so that young people have the tools and information to make their own decisions about their health. To the general public, however, the term wellness professional is synonymous with being a yoga doing, smoothie drinking, pizza-hating chick; which is the farthest thing from the truth.

When did the concept of wellness become so pigeonholed, so commercial, so acculturated and main stream?

Every time I try to design marketing material for a new campaign, I type in “#wellness” and scroll through the ﬁrst 100 photos to see the newest images that pop up. Despite the medium, the images, without fail, are always the same !!! : White chicks doing yoga, Bros lifting weight, acai berry yogurt bowls, protein shakes, fancy salads, supplement ads, and before and after weight loss photos. Gross! & Incredibly Predictable!

NEWSFLASH PEOPLE:

FITNESS AND NUTRITION ARE NOT WELLNESS! Fitness and nutrition are components of wellness, but they do not deﬁne the wellness ﬁeld..

Bish please! I may be a wellness professional, but I love me some pizza…

Guess what else? Wellness is inherently intersectional because every individual deﬁnes wellness for themselves and has the right to choose the practices that best ﬁt their lifestyles, cultures and beliefs. Some of the oldest wellness practices, such as meditation and yoga, originated and exist as a part of

the cultural framework of the global majority. So why is it that when I type yoga into google images: the first 50–60 images are of white women? The lack of POC representation in the wellness field, creates an exclusionary, and one-dimensional standard of wellness. Too often I encounter students and/or clients of color that feel that wellness is inaccessible to them for a variety of reasons. Some of the most common are as follows: 1. Practicing wellness or self care is selfish. 2. Practicing wellness or self care is a luxury that people of color cannot afford. (It’s expensive or takes away time from self improvement such as work or school.) 3. STIGMA

Tribe, wellness is for everyone. Putting your body and mind first is the key to a successful career and a long, healthful life. The definition of wellness is going to vary depending on where you are in the world. The snack that uplifts a person’s spirit in the Caribbean may not be a $6 bottle of kombutcha, but instead a slice or two of plantain. Just because plantains are not being advertised by some social media influencer as the right food choice, does it make it less of a wellness food? Also, why does there seem to be a hierarchy of wellness activities that one can participate in? My wellness activity of choice may not be yoga or soul cycle but instead walking, dancing, or fellowshipping over a meal while netflix binging.

Just because my deﬁnition of wellness differs from yours, does not make it wrong. So stop inviting me to yoga class. I don’t want to go, I just don’t like it. I can still be a A-1 wellness professional and still hate yoga. End of story. While everyone can have their own deﬁnitions of wellness, one of my favorites is by John Valenty, CEO of wellness.com, “Wellness is the result of personal initiative, seeking a more optimal, holistic and balanced state of health and well-being across multiple dimensions.”

No one achieves wellness, if they are not SEEKING a more BALANCED STATE OF HEALTH AND WELL-BEING.

Thus, wellness can not be lazy. It is an action, a state of being that we actively strive to achieve everyday. You don’t wake up one

put into your body or how it looks but rather how you exist and find purpose and joy in your daily life. This is wholeness rather than wellness. A full discussion of wholeness is a whole other post but to quickly summarize: Wholeness is maintaining balance in all aspects of our physical, mental, spiritual and financial well-being while maximizing joy and fulfillment.

morning and decide, “I am going to be well today” and that’s that. No. The journey isn’t going to be beautiful everyday, just like you don’t get perfect hair days everyday, despite your efforts. Each day you make a choice to try. Sometimes you may fall, or fail but when you do, pick yourself back up, be kind to yourself, and try again. Wellness is diverse. It is global and it is respectful of people, culture and beliefs. No two bodies need the same type of wellness in their lives, but everyone does need a few things: a little movement, food in proportion, time to breathe and relax, healthy sleep, companionship and leisure. Stop limiting wellness to the commercialized crunchy, fitness and body shaming definitions that exist. Expand it to include activities that make you happy and optimizes your definition of a happy, healthy lifestyle. All things in moderation of course. Eating a perfectly baked chocolate chip cookie might make you happy, but ten might be pushing it out of the wellness zone into a “well-less” one. Coming full circle, the issue with commercialized wellness is that it is just a snapshot of the bigger picture, a means to an end, mainly focusing on the external and superficial. Wellness is not supposed to be a qualifier or a judgment on life or try to fit you into a box. It should not focus on what you 32

It doesn’t matter who you are, what your waist size is, or what color skin you may have: Each and every one of you is WORTHY OF FEELING WHOLE, PRACTICING SELFCARE & BEING PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY AND SPIRITUALLY WELL. GO out, LIVE your life, ENJOY good food and Be Happy in ways that make sense to you.

Garden of Eat’n Springﬁeld 439 White St. Springﬁeld, MA 01108

Garden of Eat’n is an all Organic Vegan Cafe, that serves all your favorite dishes with a vegan twist beakfast, lunch, and dinner. Garden of Eat’n isn’t just a cafe it is Health center, and our meals aren’t just vegan, they are healthiest that nature can provide. We take pride in studying every dish, and it’s nutritional value it provides to our patrons. Our mission and mato is to “Heal With Every Meal”

Meals Pictured: All Organic Apple Cinnamon Pancakes Smothered in Agave Nector Syrup Sweet Salad Made With Ripe Plantain Seasons with Zesty Red Cabage, Onions, Peppers, and Tomatoes.

Crunch &Soul IG: @crunchandsoul

Crunch & Soul is an engineering jawn and a yung blackademic trying to make your timeline tastier. Here are some of the tasty foods they have made. One of the co-founders, Essence White, is a personal chef and caterer in Houston, TX with Essential Eats â&#x20AC;&#x153;Lasting Taste & Unforgettable Experienceâ&#x20AC;? @essentialeats.experience

Meals Pictured: Homemade Lamb Buger with Sauteed Scallions on a Low Carb Flatbread Greek Chicken Kabobs with a Homemade Cucumber Yogurt Sauce Honey Glazed Salmon with Sauteed Spinach

Tun Up Cardio Circuit By Blythe Coleman-Mumford

Step One 25 Pushups 25 Jumping Jacks 25 Squats 50 Crunches 60 Jumping Jacks Repeat 3x Pump up with LAKIM on Soundcloud

Step Two Using a rec or spin bike Alternate cycle between Level 6 & Level 12 2 mins./ Level Total: 20 mins. Cycle to Intâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;l Players Anthem, Swisahouse

Step Three Using an elliptical Start at a Level 8 or higher Increase intensity by alternating between pedal forward & backwards Total: 20 mins. Throw it back with Rizzla, Burna boy

Art is life, life is art By Robin L. GrifďŹ th My brown body, my woman body, my queer body is under assault, and I am weary. The world keeps telling me I have no value, I have no meaning, I have to die. The world will ďŹ nd ways to break me down, break me up and burn me to the ground . But I am not a burden, I am not a sin , a throw away soul. I am air, I am earth, I am water. I am a living breathing reality, a promise ....

“I’m coming in with all sorts of illusions and assumptions about you know, my kinship, my ﬁctive kinship to many of these people but I don’t know. We don’t know each other, you know? When we go home, when we go to bed, very few of us actually get a chance to see what it means to wrestle with what it means being here? For me, this is a very alien place and I don’t think it can ever become a familiar home or a home necessarily, especially for students of color, especially black students...What does it mean to be alive here? How are you carving out space for you to be alive here? Or even to be a mess.”

By Rahma Haji In Living Color meditates on the question, the challenge, and the practice of aliveness. I sat with Temar over FaceTime to talk about her upcoming exhibit and her creative process.

Rahma: It’s so good see-

ing you. I want to begin by talking about your process creating “In Living Color.” Where does this process begin for you?

Temar: For me, it really

began from being inspired by Professor Amanda Wal-

lace’s topics in photography class on kinship, and being able to utilize a studio space, independently for the ﬁrst time. Having that black space for the ﬁrst time. I had never shot in the studio in that way before. And so, it began with me realizing the possibilities of the new

type of world I could create. I’m so accustomed to shooting in very classic and mundane situations, you know–everyday houses, homes...things like that. It was an exciting opportunity to step away from that and isolate the subjects. I just wanted to have very raw

encounters with folks and to see that I could encourage people to actually think nothing of race and just break me apart a bit. Just live shit. I wanted everyone I photographed and to give me their full attention and their clearest attention. It was important that I saw them step out of any nervousness and release tension. So, I think that’s where the process was different. It was this very uncomfortable affective shift in the space. That’s the wildness of this “people of color” umbrella. It’s really meant to drown out blackness. I am not perceived by white people to be in relation to Vanessa, you feel me, but she’s grappling with her relation to whiteness. That’s a bit disorientating for me and that’s the madness that shaped our interviews ultimately, that someone would come to a call for subjects of color, and questioning their proximity to whiteness.

R: Could talk to me about

the staging process? There is a continuity in the photos where some people in terms of placement, some much closer and others distant. How do you work around framing people in space?

T: I deﬁnitely want a hand

in the staging process. I am taking more directorial role

now than before which has really resulted in me being more conﬁdent behind the camera. I did a lot of exercises with them. I had people raise their arms and just do things that seemed out of their nature just to loosen them up. There are some people that are not going to break out of certain discomforts no matter what you do so like me trying to work with people’s reactions to me. It rendered the results I wanted which was direct engagement with the camera and just something authentic. The smirk and the gesture was just all her. The process was pretty organic. No one had prior instructions coming in and people just knew that I was taking photos because I needed subjects. The fact that people showed up was a shock to me and that got me hype. Once I saw that there were that many bodies, I was like okay cool, bet! And I think that’s how I played with it, there were some people where getting up close served that intimacy I was looking for versus the other needed distance cause they needed to feel alone, right? They needed to feel like in their world. I was paying attention to that and I was trying to be empathetic to that and it was only with a few folks that I felt the need to push it.

R: That’s amazing. How long did shooting take?

T: Overall, it spanned two days.

R: Since you’ve gearing up to show the exhibit soon, how do you decide which ones you want to show like what is that like process?

T: It’s like a back and forth

process between what I ﬁnd striking and stunning and what I think is visually compelling. Someone’s opinion, an objective opinion, may push me beyond the frames that I chose. You know we all get stuck on what’s common and familiar to our practice and I’m very familiar to the traditional portrait style.

R: How the call was po-

sitioned?what is that like process?

T: I wanted it to be anyone

who identiﬁed as a person of color. As problematic as that term may be, it was important to me to see who felt they fell under that umbrella. I would have loved to have done black students at Smith but actually it was important that those were the people who showed up and those were the people

interested in that identiﬁcation so I didn’t want to erase that.

R: So this is both inter-

views and photographs?

T: Yea, it was supposed

to be a combination of the interviews and photography. Originally, MSK’s involvement was to bring in some reproductive justice aspect to it but I was more interested on focusing on wellness here or health. How is that in relation to your identity? Can you put that in relation to your identity and how you are identiﬁed? For me, you see a connection to my mental health and how I am identiﬁed in this space.

R: Who are the collaborators in this project?

T: I worked intimately with

Camille Bacon and Ashley Hair. Ashley was gorgeous to photograph and actually, hers is one of my favorite portraits in the series. She’s a Capricorn, and they always photograph with this intoxicating and stoic control of their sexuality, but it’s a completely dichotomous situation. They strike a damn pose. Really, I love the project because of so many collaborators I photographed everyone. Camille,

Ashley, the Black Student Alliance Chair, Natalie James, Miche Hu, Sunnie Yi Ning, Sherita Flournoy, Auralynn Rosario, Leigh Miller, Jessica Nelson, Vanessa, Tiara my love and Precious Musa. Rahma, you already know how I feel about Precious, another Taurus goddess–that woman is going to be laureate one day, watch me say! Honestly, it was Camille that entered the purpose of the show and the idea of this Humans of New York vibe for the exhibition. It was cool. Our point of inquiry was really a broad one.

R: In reading the descrip-

tion, I am interested in hearing how you are highlighting wellness and mental health. What does the title signify?

T: Aliveness. The fact that

these are alive people who live here, who have lives here, who have to sustain their aliveness on this campus with or without diversity initiatives. They have lives that are complicated and that person of color designation does very little to highlight the true diversity of these lives. Just because people share brown skin on this campus does not mean they share kinship or the same experience or ideas. I think the description I wrote up is reﬂective of how I feel

but also, I almost wrote that in an effort to be like “yea! Here, here’s the point, here you guys go, here’s something for you” but now let me engage with these people and try to explore some of their subjective experiences on campus. It’s also a play on In Living Color, a black ass show.

T: How do you sustain that when you want to be quiet? When you want to be quiet and you just want to be alive, how do you practice that? What does that look like? What interrupts that here for? Is it interrupted? Are you conscious of it? I think we are going to get very different reactions and responses based under the selection we have. In Living Color will be on view from April 7- 20 at the Nolan Art Lounge in the Campus Center, Smith College

Pisces Season By Temar France, @etmafrance

Isn’t Pisces season lovely? All dreamy and whiny but full of possibilities? When you feel the watery mystique of Pisces it’s a bit hard to resist. But lemme skrrt skrrt on your literal dreams right quick. Pisces season will be a messy one y’all. I mean look, every astrological season is a ﬁerce mood. But this month’s astrological weather is going to call you (that’s a universal you) to pull from that deep ancestral strength within you. I’m talkin that #blackgirlmagic because in short, you will now have deh powha of de Bleck Pantheh stripped aweh. If you haven’t seen Black Panther, oh well. As I write this, the Sun, Mercury and Venus are all in the dreamy sign of Pisces, and we’re all sorta woke/sleep right now. But on March 6th when Mercury and Venus transit into Aries, something will activate. For better or for worse. Aries energy is wild. Aries is a ﬁre sign and the metaphorical baby of the zodiac. They want what they want, and they want it now! This will be some impulsive and scorching energy, but with Jupiter going retrograde in Scorpio on March 8th there’s going to be a pause on that impulsive external action and a redirection to the internal world. Scorpio is compelled to get the messy truths,to go deep, and with Jupiter retrograding all up in it, the deeply spiritual expansion of your identity and beliefs that has been taking place since December will come into deeper question. Wounds must be attended to. To quote Lucille Clifton, “It is time for the paying of the bills.” You won’t really be given a choice in the matter. Venus squares Saturn

on March 13th, forcing a confrontation with all you encounter in Jupiter’s now Scorpionic deep dive into your soul! Brace yourself. But don’t fret my dear. Mars enters Zaddy aka Capricorn on the 17th, and Zaddy likes to get zings zone. It is time to make this transformation real. Mercury is going to be in retrograde March 22nd. Now hold up, Mercury in retrograde simply means we tend to think the “thing” were focusing on is more important than it really is. Don’t wait for retrograde to address work that you intuitively know must be done now. It’s impossible to know everything. There is always more to see and hear. Mistakes happen during mercury retrograde when we neglect the details and the community that helps point them out. So, whether the matter seems big or small, slow down and give your focus to what needs attention now. Like before Mercury retrograde.. Focus is very spiritual and transformative. It requires structure and surrender to the work. This is the time to determine what must be done, and how a little restraint and focus can make it real. On March 28th, that’s a Wednesday, some revelations will come to pass, possibly beautiful ones, but I urge you to practice caution on any actions you take. You’re going to pay for those decisions shortly after. As we transition to Aries Season and Mars enters Taurus on the 30th the universe will grace us with a breath of astrological relief. Venusian reprieve. But you’re going to have to wait and work for it. That’s the Astrological weather forecast for March.

Your spine is a hymnal that the trees whisper By Max UreĂąa you do not know these growing pains beneath

how the sky stretches just for you these bones

a hymnal of birds you are sacred just as a pruned tree continues to grow so do you

bloom

Contributors Mar. 2018

Aseeli Coleman Acrylic painting “Flowers” pg. 2 Aseeli Coleman is currently a senior at Rutgers University. She was previously biology major until she decided to follow her passion and major in painting and graphic design. Aseeli hopes to pursue a career in art as a visual development artist for animated ﬁlms and as a children’s book illustrator. Her goal is to create more representation for young girls of color, speciﬁcally black girls, in a growing industry. Aside from painting, Aseeli enjoys doing yoga, dancing, and reading in her free time.

Blythe Mumford-Coleman Tun Up Cardio Circuit Blythe Coleman-Mumford is a recent Smith College graduate. She majored in environmental Science and Policy with a concentration in sustainable food studies. During her Smith College career, she coordinated a number of intersectional food justice projects, which also engaged with issues of racial, economic, and identity and sexuality related issues. Blythe is passionate about the issue of Black and Brown land acquisition especially, and how to make healthy food more accessible to minority and low income communities. Blythe’s dedication to healthy lifestyle choices has also helped her develop her own work out regime over the past 6 years. She is currently studying to become a nationally certiﬁed personal trainer.

Chimamaka Nnodim-Amadi We Gon’ Be Alright: Blackness & Mental Health Chimamaka Nnodim-Amadi is a ﬁrst generation college graduate majoring in biological sciences with a minor in Africana studies from Smith College. She is origi-

nally from Nigeria, having moved to the states when she was 2 years old. She is interested in research relating to racism and epigenetics. She has battled bipolar disorder for most of her college career and is a avid supporter of mental health issues. She is also a lifelong Liverpool football club supporter.

Dear Black Women Select Quotes pgs. 7, 12 & 20 Dear Black Women is an aﬃrmation movement for Black women by Black, because we are worthy of our own love now and always. DBW co-create safe spaces oﬄine and online for Black women to connect, heal and grow. Find us at www. dearblackwomenproject.com and @DearBlackWomen on all social media.

Kristina Mereigh

Your Whitewashed Commercial Wellness Box Won’t Deﬁne Me Kristina Mereigh currently serves as the Director of Wellness Services at Smith College, where she is responsible for health promotion, education, and programming. Kris attended Johns Hopkins University, (Baltimore, MD) for her Masters degree in Public Health Communications. She received her undergraduate degrees in Anthropology and International Studies from Trinity College, (Hartford,CT). She is also a certiﬁed Be Body Positive facilitator. Kris is the author of the wholeness lifestyle blog LiveLaughBoss.com that focuses on work-life integration and wholelife living for young, high-aspiring professionals.

Max Ureña

Your spine is a hymnal that the trees whisper Keegan Máxime (Max) Ureña is a

young, existentially exhausted Afro-Latinx individual who hails from Boston, MA. Max is currently trying their best to earn an undergraduate degree in English from UMass Amherst but academia is a Struggle™. They hope to move somewhere warm and escape the frozen northeast hellscape someday. In the meantime, you can catch them in Northampton, doing poems with Pulp Slam, writing in Copley Library, running around with their dog, Lumiere, and tweeting their gender of the day (@genderhoudini). You can ﬁnd Max’s poem “The Sacriﬁce” in the Fall 2017 issue of Voicemail Poems.

Nichole Rondon

Mind, Body & Soul: A Self-Care Journey Nichole Rondon ‘18 was born and raised in the Bronx, New York. She is currently majoring in Psychology and French Studies at Smith College. At Smith, Nichol sought out opportunities to explore minority issues on campus by writing for the school newspaper, The Sophian. Nichole did similarly during her overseas experiences in Kenya and France, where she promoted the issues of women and immigrants respectively. She is known as a traveler, an activist, a thinker, and an intersectional feminist. She is inspired by the world, its diverse people, and the sudden societal push and embrace of intersectionality.

Nyri Wells Ain’t I Deserving of Healthcare Nyri Wells is a budding anthropologist straight out of New Jersey. She’s got her sights set on completing her degrees by 2019, and she can’t wait. Though she’s a full time student, she’s dedicated to using her appreciation for

anthropology and environmental studies to better our public health outlook, as a country. When she is not in school she enjoys making time for activism...or watching Netﬂix. She views her voice as her most powerful weapon, and hopes it only becomes stronger here at redﬂowers.

Raegan Thomas Watercolor Front Cover Page pg.1 Raegan Thomas is a young African American woman from Dallas, Texas majoring in studio art at Smith College. Her chosen mediums are drawing and painting; with a current interest in ink and watercolor. Raegan’s focus is to use her art to portray black women as angelic and ethereal beings to offset the false, stereotypical, and demeaning labels that society imposes. Raegan is currently the Arts and Culture Co-Chair of the Black Students’ Alliance. She intends to use the knowledge and skillset gained from Smith and BSA to land her museums and galleries everywhere.

Rahma Haji

Temar France: A Conversation on In Living Color Rahma Haji is a doctoral student at the University of Maryland in College Park studying black cultural productions and world-making through memes tracing its movement within a much larger archive of black performances. Occasionally, she is interested in astrological signs of poets and theorists I am into–which can mean Busta Rhymes, Timbaland, Missy Elliot, Future, to James Baldwin and Audre Lorde and Rita Dove–even though she don’t know nothing about that. When Rahma not professing my love for my friends and thinking

about black women’s art practices and the wildness of sound, you can catch her on the Interwebs talking my talk and building communitea. Also, Rahma’s a bird. Chirp.

Robin L. Grifﬁth Art is life, life is art Robin Griﬃth is a married stay at home mom. Her wife Miriam, her daughters Ella and Lily help to support and fuel her creative spirit. She would describe herself as an artist, photographer, and a sometime poet. She has enjoyed being artistic all of her life. More recently, Robin have embraced my creativity and am exploring how she can use all the parts of my artistic self and create a business.

Steph Dinsae Ode to the Medusa in Me Steph Dinsae is a poet and Black Classicist, splitting her time somewhere along the lines of the Bronx, NY and Northampton MA where she is a junior at Smith College. She has interned in Italy with the Paideia Institute and has also participated in Black-centered DIFFVelopment, an entrepreneurial summer experience and internship from which she received Best Consulting Report Prize. Her favorite things to do are dance around to music in her room and obsess over astrology. In case you were wondering, Steph’s a Libra Sun, Scorpio Moon, and Sagittarius Rising.

Murrow High School also encouraged her to continue studying visual art on a collegiate level. As a ﬁrst year student at Smith College, Storm is now exploring the intersection between science research and visual art. In the coming years, She hopes to expand on her understanding of both art and science throughout her time in college and beyond.

Temar Smith Pisces Season Temar France ‘18 is a Smith College Africana Studies Major and Kahn Fellow in this year’s War project. Her work in the digital humanities engages with the archaeological recovery of The Black Archive with a concentration on Black women’s ecstatic performances of race and freedom. Temar is the co-host of the Marginalia Podcast and The Rap Scholars where she concentrates and complicates her theoretical studies with the pedagogical performances of podcast genre. Fonts:

‘Elley’, ‘Nilland-SmallCaps’, ‘Beyond The Mountains’, ‘Cardenio Modern’, ‘Questions’, ‘Eﬄoresce’, ‘j.d.’, ‘Bubblegum Sans’, ‘Paciﬁco’, ‘Permanent Marker’, ‘Thin king’, ‘Roboto’, ‘Roboto Condensed’.

Storm Lewis

Oil Paintings “The Strawberry Project” pgs. 13, 45 Storm Lewis is an African-American woman from Brooklyn, New York. Growing up, watching both of her parents pursue a career in the arts, inspired her to express herself through creative outlets from a young age. Completing rigorous art courses for four years at Edward R.

bloom Editor-in-Chief Letter Mar. 2018

Dear bloom reader, Thank you so much for taking the opportunity to read the ﬁrst ever issue of bloom. I am so grateful to have so many people contribute so that this could even exist. None of this would have been possible without their time and willingness. This was a 2.5 month project of gathering contributors, assigning and discussing topics, submissions, formatting, designing, and more. And as much as I loved this project, I’m so glad to see it come to an end. Because now this is available to you and so many others that are looking for information, support, guidance, or even entertainment. This is for you, and no one can take this away from you. Now, I have no idea how you found about this, so I’ll begin my formal introduction. My name is Jessica Innis, and I’m the CEO and Founder of redflowers, an online platform that promotes, empowers, and engages black identities and black women through various channels. This project is supported by redflowersCARE, a subdivision of redflowers focused on self-care and self-actualization for black identities and black women. Some other quick tidbits about me is that I graduated from Smith College ‘17 as a Chemistry major and an Economics minor. I grew up in New Jersey in Jamaican home with my mother, sister, and grandparents. I’m interested in black studies (if you couldn’t tell) and cultural activism. I also love food, global genres of music such as; dancehall, soca, afrobeats, k-pop, hip hop, etc, art (all the sketches in this were made by me), and photography (also displayed in here). I’ve gone through periods of depression. I have been to therapy for my mental health. I have allowed

myself to be vulnerable. I have allowed myself to break down and cry. And that’s okay. Why bloom? I chose the name “bloom” because to me, that means a new beginning or a new start. Also, it still had to do with flowers, so that was a bonus. As for why this was created, I was in Barnes & Noble where I saw a plethora of magazines discussing holistic health, female empowerment, and selfcare, but they were all so white. Many of them never looked at it from an intersectional perspective. I’m a strong believer of if something you want doesn’t exist, create it yourself. And look at that. Here we are. Before I wrap things up, I just want you to know how strange it is to call myself Editor-in-Chief, but there’s a first for everything. I urge you to check out the rest of the stuff going on with redflowers and especially redflowersCARE if this was something that interested you as the CARE Box was prototyped this past January. Also, we will be hosting “Love Yourself” workshops for hire soon enough. There’s plenty more going on. If you’re interested in getting involved, email redflowersco@gmail. com anytime. Will there be another issue? Honestly, we will have to see. Share this with others and possibly, another issue will be in the woks. For now, those signed up on our email list at www.redflowers.co will be notified first. Thank you so much again. This means the world and more to me. Lastly, please love and take care of yourself to the best of your ability. Sincerely, Jessica Innis

bloom

Mar. 2018