Bloom Magazine - Nov. '18 by Bloom Magazine

bloom Brought to You by redflowersCARE

Nov. 2018

ISSN: 2638-1419

Art by Raegan Thomas

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Black Mothers Are Dying

12 Zoe Flowers ‘From Ashes to Angel’s Dust: A Journey Through Womanhood”

18 INT. Heart, A Short Story 27 Moments of Pleasure 33 Brown Sugar, A Series of Excerpts by Mireille Miller-Young

Bloom Magazine. Published November 23, 2018 by redflowers. bloom.redflowers.co

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38 Tiq Milan Tiq’s Declassified Queer Survival Guide: On Love and Relationships

46 “Dear Beloved Black Mother” with Darline Turner 50 Ericka Hart A Journey of Decolonizing My Queerness and Blackness

57 Scorpio Forecast 60 Contributors’ Page 64 Editor-in-Chief Letter

Photo By Salena Medina

SEX, RELATIONSHIPS, AND REPRODUCTION â&#x20AC;&#x153;The erotic has often been misnamed by men and used against women. It has been made into the confused, the trivial, the psychotic, the plasticized sensation. For this reason, we have often turned away from the exploration and consideration of the erotic as a source of power and information, confusing it with its opposite, the pornographic... The erotic is a measure between the beginnings of our sense of self and the chaos of our strongest feelings. It is an internal sense of satisfaction to which, once we have experienced it, we know we can aspire.â&#x20AC;? ---Audre Lorde, Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power

Photo by Taryn Andre

BLACK MOTHERS ARE DYING By Nyri Wells

Insights on the relationship between black mothers and the healthcare system in the U.S. and globally The United States is no stranger to health disparities in healthcare. Despite this, the U.S. spends double the money, per capita, on healthcare. This is in stark contrast to other industrialized countries in the West, where health outcomes are significantly better than in the United States. There are several gaps within the healthcare system that are worthy of an in-depth discussion. The gaps in access to healthcare are most often seen in communities of color and those of low socioeconomic backgrounds. Moreover, the inconsistencies between races are most noticeable in both reproductive and sexual health (https://www.reproductiverights. org/node/861).

Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s it tho right? Nope, You Thought!: Within all of that disparity, research shows that Black women often suffer worse health outcomes in comparison to other women. One specific aspect of reproductive health that impacts Black women negatively, more than other races, is maternal health. For the past fifty years, African American women have been having higher incidences of maternal mortality (death during pregnancy/childbirth) in comparison to white women. The statistics are staggering, and there is no one aspect of the healthcare system to blame for these increased rates. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has long been involved in trying to mend this

Preterm Births as a Percent of Live Births, by race and ethnicity, 1992 to 2003. // CDC 204a & IOM

Sudden unexpected infant death rates, by race and Hispanic origin of mother: United States

Maternal mortality rates in select countries and the United States //

issue and stipulated that having access to consistent and quality prenatal care could significantly increase the likelihood of a healthy pregnancy. Prenatal care is an integral part of having a healthy pregnancy as many maternal deaths happen soon after live births. However, the issue is not necessarily a gap in access as it is inconsistencies in the quality of healthcare offered to black women versus other women (https://www. reproductiverights.org/node/861). The difference in quality is a result of poor policy and institutionalized racism, and is evidence that the United States is in the middle of a human rights crisis. The U.S. promised in the Millenium Development Goals and the Sustainable Development Goals, set by the United Nations, to improve maternal health outcomes. Overall, the efficiency of the MDGs and SDGs is subject to debate. On one hand, both campaigns have sparked a concerted agenda to promote better health outcomes on an unprecedented international scale. Before both campaigns existed, efforts to better maternal health were completed on a country-by-country basis that was minimally effective to reduce maternal mortality. And yet, measuring the progress of both campaigns has been difficult. Most of the criticism of this global effort lies in the fact that both the targets and resources dedicated to these tasks is unbalanced which allows for many people to slip through the cracks of an already fractured system. (http://

localizingthesdgs.org/library/251/ From-MDGs-to-SDGs-What-are-theSustainable-Development-Goals. pdf). It’s not all doom and gloom tho, there is a light at the end of the tunnel! (From my source) Poor health outcomes for women of color do not just reveal bad policy – they are evidence that the U.S. is failing to meet its human rights obligations to provide equal access to reproductive healthcare. CRR is raising this issue with human rights entities and experts at the United Nations, as well as on Capitol Hill, to push for recognition that the persistence of racial disparities in reproductive and sexual health is a human rights violation. The CERD Committee recognized pervasive racial disparities in women’s sexual and reproductive health as a human rights concern and called on the U.S. to improve women’s access to reproductive and sexual healthcare, including contraception and sexuality education. Specifically, the Committee urged the U.S. to: -Improve access to maternal health care, including pre- and post-natal care, through the reduction of Medicaid eligibility barriers; -Facilitate access to family planning methods; and -Provide adequate sexuality education aimed at the prevention of sexually transmitted infections and unintended pregnancies.

Photo by Taryn Andre

EMOTIONAL HOSTAGE By Lyn Patterson

I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t do the politics conflicts turning into hostage situations keeping me trapped in your limbos your grey spaces divergent places

ZOE FLOWERS By Hillary Tacuri

From Ashes to Angel’s Dust: A Journey Through Womanhood “It’s actually been a crazy week,” Zoe Flowers, author of From Ashes to Angel’s Dust, admits when I called her on a chilly Friday. “My work laptop’s having issues, so I had to take it to the Apple Store. I also had another interview this morning, about black women and domestic violence.” Zoe also notes that she had to write a piece someone else needed for another interview. Yet, she enjoys engaging in this work: “It’s great that I’m

having these conversations because it’s helping my ideas to jell.” Her ideas center around how women and those affected by domestic violence and trauma can heal themselves. As a survivor of domestic abuse and sexual violence, she is dedicated to making life better for herself and others. She describes herself as a human being curious about life in general; spiritual, an artist, a content creator, a poet, and a writer.

Photo By Robyn Twomey

The first iteration of From Ashes to Angel’s Dust first arose after Zoe left an abusive relationship. As she told her friends what she went through, she realized that many people were having similar experiences. She began interviewing people around her, intending to create a work of fiction, but chose not to, realizing the “need to tell the truth of what’s happening in the community... since it’s happening to so many people.” She went to shelters, put up flyers around the city she lived in at the

time, reached out to people to talk about their stories. These stories became the first iteration of From Ashes to Angel’s Dust, originally titled Dirty Laundry. I had no idea that From Ashes to Angel’s Dust had a different title. Zoe shared her reasoning behind the title change: “I felt that Dirty Laundry had a lower vibration, even though it came from people saying, ‘we don’t put our dirty laundry out, we don’t tell people our business’… just the language, ‘Dirty Laundry,’ I felt that it was

low energy, low vibration. From Ashes to Angel’s Dust is more inspirational, like how Black women in particular, take the ashes that we’re given and turn it into something beautiful. We take what we’re often given, which is often trash, and we make something beautiful. So many of our stories are like the phoenix, about us rising from the ashes and that’s what I’m about. That’s what my work is about, that’s what my life is about – about rising from the ashes.” Although From Ashes to Angel’s Dust started as a response to the violence she experienced, it has grown. Zoe’s mission now is about helping people return to who they are. She aims to heal through the trauma. This trauma often stems from violence or from the historical trauma “of being a person of color, a woman of color, a black woman in these United States, and what that means, the trauma in our DNA…My work is about healing: how we can heal ourselves, how we can learn to love ourselves within the context of racism, sexism, violence, etcetera.” Zoe also identifies as a Libra: in her own words, she’s not a lone wolf when it comes to her work. She has worked with Dr. G. Zoe loves to conduct soul-shifting retreats in Ecuador. Sherri Pullum, her friend, helped her co-write and turn Ashes to Angel’s Dust into a play. When she first started writing, she knew that she wanted to create a play and a documentary out of this work. When they transformed the book into a play,

Zoe explained that there were things in the book that had to be shown. Historical context, like adding in the Trans-Atlantic slave trade, was necessary because they felt it was the perfect example of domestic violence. The play has been on tour, performing at multiple universities and cities. Zoe’s healing work does not end at her book. She also heals with her hands. As a Reiki Master, which she describes as acupuncture without needles, she gives people a reading, explains what is going on within their life, and performs the necessay work. Zoe also does intuitive and astrology readings; guiding and leading people through alternative, spiritual healing ways. Although it differs from her other work, I see it as another form of healing that Zoe wants others to access – especially in the current political climate. Zoe notes that “Trump has mobilized everyone in the country. It may not be what he intended, but people who had been asleep are awake. It’s the perfect time for Black women in particular to tell our stories. More people seem to want to hear them. There’s an incredible surge of Black women in spirituality… I feel that we are witnessing a Black woman spiritual renaissance – and I am glad to be a part of it.” She’s glad that people are starting to acknowledge the work she and her fellow peers have been doing. I asked Zoe what she was currently working on: she chuckled warmly and dived into discussing

From Ashes to Angel’s Dust Performance / National Black Theatre: Institute for Action Arts

her current project – editing a short film. This film is about a 35-year-old African-American woman named Rode, living in Brooklyn and facing a crossroads in her life. She happens to be descended from a family of spiritual healers but has no knowledge of this history because her mother has stamped it out. However, her greatgreat grandmother, a Norse goddess named Freya, and an African Orisa all descend upon her life in order to guide and help her step into her own power. Although this is a standalone film, Zoe did admit that if she were to receive funding, she would tour From Ashes to Angel’s Dust, and work with women to hear their stories. Given all that she had told me about her work, I asked if she had any free time to relax. She chuckled in response – but she did tell me that she likes to mediate, travel, and

hang out with friends when she can. Although Zoe is a busy person, she is passionate and driven to help open the conversation about domestic violence and help others learn to heal themselves. To see what else Zoe has published, go to her website and follow her on social media: http://soulrequirements.org/ Facebook: @tit2baproductions IG: @iamzoeflowers Twitter: @divinebydesigne Purchase her book at https://amzn. to/2QjghSX

â&#x20AC;˘ GUIDED CARE â&#x20AC;˘

Beating seasonal depression What is Seasonal Depression? Seasonal depression is a type of depression that comes and goes with the season, most common at the end of daylight savings time (late fall to early spring). Common symptoms include low energy, hypersomnia, overeating, weight gain, and social withdrawal.

treatments

D Light Therapy The increased melatonin may be affecting you. Invest in some daylight or cool white light bulbs.

Vitamin D The darkness and gloom from lack of sun is making you miss out on this important vitamin!

Medication Speak to a therapist or a psychiatrist about getting evaluated for antidepressants. Do not fear meds, if you need them, get them and use them

Wellness + Lifestyle

Celebrating individuals who embrace authentic, intentional, revolutionary and well living.

@blackandwell blackandwellmag.com

INT. HEART-

(a wretched place) - A Short Story By Julissa Nunez

“Can you believe he fucking said that?” Catalina starts, slicing off a section of guava paste and topping it off with a cube of queso de papa before popping it into her mouth. Giovanni lays across from her on the floral-patterned carpeted floor of their studio apartment in Spanish Harlem. He smears chunky peanut butter onto his fourth rice cracker of the evening whilst skimming through Catalina’s latest piece of work.

to their own preference. But there’s something fundamentally wrong when your preference leads you to tell one of your significant other’s best friends that if they were cuter, you’d be fucking them instead, but you’re not because the best friend isn’t half-white,” Catalina remarked. “I guess,” Giovanni sighs.

“No seriously, how far up your ass is the Western beauty standard that you have to tell a second-gen Chinese-American “Hmph, I mean- well, everyyou feel like Asians are better one’s entitled to their own preference,” Giovanni responds, looking when they are halfwhite?” carefully sneaking a look at Catalina through drafts of “Some people are just attracther papers, watching for her reaction. ed to mixed-raced persons. I don’t think it’s that bad.” Catalina sits up on their couch, “Yes. Everyone is entitled

squaring a look at her boyfriend of six months, suddenly seeing him through a different lens, as this occasionally happens. But Catalina has gotten into the habit of letting things slide because Giovanni was a genuinely good guy. He says all the right things except for when he doesn’t. This was one of those times. “You don’t find it the slightest bit strange that a POC male willingly admits he’s only attracted to POC women that are only half colored and the other half has to be European?” Giovanni sets down the pages of Catalina’s revised and edited anthology of poems, shrugs and gives her a defeated look, saying, “Did you think it was weird when I told you I’m only attracted to larger, black women?”

loss for how to answer whether she thinks it’s weird her white boyfriend exclusively dates bigger-bodied, black women. The entirety of her family certainly thinks so.

hot, BBW girlfriend?” Catalina rolls her eyes and leans back to throw a couch pillow at him.

“You’re still black, Cat.” Giovanni states with furrowed brows.

“I mean, why do you only like black girls?” She refuses to make eye contact. Catalina shuts the refrigerator door but stands back facing towards Giovanni waiting for something he can’t give her. Reassurance? Clarity? It didn’t matter because she didn’t get it.

“You know how I feel about that word and answer the question. Catalina opens up with Actually, don’t answer the question that’s it.” she insists, as she been itching under skin gets up off the couch. that she has been too Giovanni follows her afraid to ask. into the kitchen where she is sorting items “Am I an exception?” back into the fridge.

“I’m Afro-Latina,” Catalina corrects. “Doesn’t make much difference to me,” he attempts to reassure. “But am I what you see when you fantasize about black girls?”

Giovanni gets up from where he is situated on the rug and places himself at the base The pot of water sitting of his girlfriend’s feet, on the stove begins seated cross-legged whistling incessantin between her legs, ly and can be heard in front of the sofa. from the kitchen in the He extends his arm, adjoining room. The lid inserts his index finger rattles over the pot and slightly into the corner splurts of boiling water of Catalina’s eye to respew out of it. Steam move buildup and then collects at the top, but catches her gaze. none of this is noticed back at the living room “Are you asking me if where Catalina is at a I fantasize about my

“Do you think I should like skinny, little white girls instead?” Giovanni retorts. “You know what, we don’t have to talk to about this,” Catalina motions. “Fine,” Giovanni exasperates, “And for the record, when I think about my dream person, I think about you. I only ever think about you, Cat. And I wish you wouldn’t make me 19

feel like shit for liking someone who looks like you.”

Catalina stands stockstill a moment, her mind reeling and eventually runs cold water Giovanni retreats first under the bathroom into their shared bedsink, needing to get room, and the moment away from the kitchhe is out of sight, the en that has become lid of the boiling pot a maddening event. goes flying upwards Tears well in her eyes, to the heavens, before culminating from her clattering downwards argument with Giovanto the ground. Catalina ni that she knows will jumps with a great just lead to make-up freight, and runs to sex with no exact concheck on the stove solation or progression pot, only to find that in their relationship the burner was never as well as now being turned on. Yet, the faced with the very water in the compound real possibility that her is still erupting. Unsure mind might be toying of what to do, Catalina with her. grabs for the nearest dish rag with which “What is happening?” to hold the handle Catalina harshly so as to pour out the whispers to herself in burning water but as the locked door of their she makes contact, her white-walled bathroom. hands sear through the Looking into the mirror fabric and she yelps as that doubles as the first-degree burns are medicine cabinet, Cataleft on both her palms. lina says to herself, “I Upon impact, she can’t even discern my tumbles backwards own reality anymore.” into dining chairs and slumps onto the floor Splashing water on where she breathes her face, she cups her heavily and tries to head in her hands and make sense of what is drowns out everything happening. However, but the sound of the when she reemerges, Metro North passing the contents within through the Lower the pot are found East Side. After a long empty. The lid is as at while of just watching it should, enclosing the tap water pour, she the opening and all ap- pulls out a birth control pears normal. But the pill and downs it with burn marks remain. liquid from the faucet. A deep breath more, 20

Catalina then enters the bedroom where Giovanni waits for her and shuts the lights off as they embrace. The following day, the couple go together to La Marqueta, to shop for some house plants and produce. Handin-hand, they pick out tangerines, arugula, cilantro, bell peppers, and corn. Every now and then, they sneak away some cherries they’ve snagged off the stems and feed them to each other. Afterwards, they both head to Sylvia’s for lunch, where a waiter named Nicasio comes to collect their order. Catalina places their order and immediately piques the interest of the server. “¿Eres Dominicana? Suenas como sí,” Nicasio says. “¡Oh sí! ¿Es tan obvio?” “Quizás tiene que ver con que solo he llegado a los Estados Unidos hace tres semanas. Este es mi primer trabajo y pues, siempre puedo reconocer a gente de mi patria. También necesitas trabajar en la gramática,” the waiter jokes. “Excuse me,” Giovanni

interjects, “But can you please in speak English? I’d like to understand what you’re saying to my girlfriend.”

on the other hand, had storming thoughts entering her head that clouded her vision.

“Por supuesto, señor. Would you like anything else, sir?”

“I didn’t like you speaking Spanish to him,” Giovanni responds, but his mind is elsewhere. It’s somewhere in the back of the restaurant where Nicasio is.

“Giovanni, what the “Gio,” Catalina remarks, fuck was that shit you kicking him under the pulled?” Catalina does table. everything but snarl.

“Yeah, can you get another one of your staff to serve our table? If so, I’d really appreciate it.” A sharp clatter resonates from the opposite end of the room, where a seasoned waiter is now admonishing a trainee for dropping dishware. “I’m so sorry about this,” Catalina says, sending a death glare Giovanni’s way. “It’s okay,” Nicasio begins in his broken English, turning towards Gio who sits with pursed lips, “You remind me a lot of my father, actually. My mother married an Italian man who stole her tongue. Now she doesn’t speak to anyone. Not even her kids. Men like you are dangerous.” On that note, Nicasio left and Giovanni couldn’t muster any words to say back to him. Catalina,

“So what, I can’t speak Spanish in front of you now?!” Breaking glass is sonorous in the background and there seems to be commotion, but Catalina doesn’t register this, too consumed by feelings of anger and betrayal by someone she thought respected her.

And you sat there all smug and told him not to speak his mother tongue because you were insecure that he was going to take your property, because that’s what I am now to you, right?” “No! How can you say that? You are not my property, nor do I see you in that way, Cat.” Giovanni retorts visibly hurt by Catalina’s accusations. A server entering from the kitchen, with plates stacked high on a black tray, loses their footing and comes crashing down. “Why don’t you ever call me by full name?” Catalina attacks, in a different direction now. “Catalina? Wait, what is this about? Are you upset I call you Cat? Your friends call you Cat. I don’t see what the problem is?”

“No, you can. You can. I just thought he was trying to steal you from me,” Giovanni’s voice “Fine. Never mind. comes out as a near Let’s go back to your whisper. treatment of that waiter. What the hell came “You are so unbelievover you? Requesting able! You want to know someone else to bring what we were talking our food?” about? He was telling me how he moved “Look, I’m sorry, to the U.S. just three alright? I overreacted, I weeks ago from D.R. guess.” and said he could tell I was Dominican by “Telling immigrants my accent, probably. now they can’t speak 21

their own language. Is that really where we’re at right now?” “No, I’m not like one of those Republicans, okay? I care about all lives. I regret what I said. You were right, I was insecure.”

I just want us to get back from this.” Giovanni resigns.

a stab at Catalina and wedge themselves in her. She doesn’t even flinch. Instead, she rises from her seat and closes with, “I would say beside me, but I thought you already knew that,” and then she leaves Giovanni with the check, knives in her heart that only she is able to see.

“I’m struggling to understand where all of this is coming from, Gio. But I’m scared I won’t like it.” Catalina motions for the tab, and Jan speedily “Unbelievable,” Catalina returns to collect their sighs, leaning back cleared dishware. into her seat, looking away from Giovanni “What do you mean? To be continued... who tries to reach out Catalina, you know me,” for her hand, but she Giovanni pleads. folds hers in her lap. “Do I? Can I bring you Twenty minutes later, over to family dinner a middle-aged woman without you getting named Jan arrives at butthurt I said ‘Qué their table with tremtal?’ to my mom? bling hands, setting There’s always somedown their order. thing,” Catalina says, Catalina and Giovanretrieving the check ni eat their separate and slipping in two meals without uttering Benjamins and sliding a word to each other. it across the table. Calm has returned shortly at Sylvia’s while “Yes, you can. Why the two eat contemcan’t you ever think of platively but Catalina me in my position? I sizzles beneath the feel like an outsider in skin. She rubs her mid- your world all the time. dle linger on her burn I don’t know where I fit,” marks while staring at Giovanni confesses. a black couple, seated at a booth eating syrup Then, all at once, all off each other. the tables and chairs in the eatery rush to the “I can pay for-” center of the room and collide in on one an“Paying for my meal other. Glass and debris won’t fix what hapshatter from the winpened,” Catalina cuts dows where the wind in. broke in and curtains billow. Every fork and “I know. I’m trying. knife in the room take 22

Art By Pea the Feary

five Tips For Starting A Garden 1.

Decide what exactly you would like to grow. Researching what grows well in your city and state helps narrow down your options. You want to consider if you would like to grow vegetables, fruit, herbs, and/or flowers. Also, you must choose if you would like to plant from seeds or use starter plants. These decisions can play a factor in what you will grow as well.

Make a decision on where are you going to grow your garden. Is indoors your only option? Would you rather have a large raised garden bed or window sill garden in your backyard?

Begin to plan your garden out. This step is easy and only requires that you choose and prep your garden space. This includes purchasing a garden be, if needed or planters if you wish to have a potted plant army.

Execute! Take everything above and act on it. Execution takes only a few hours at the most and well worth the mild labor. It can be one of the most rewarding steps.

Learn everything you can about your new plants. Gardening is a continuous learning process that possess a lesson in each experienced moment. Find out what your plant loves and/or hate and learn from your mistakes! Have fun and donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be discouraged! For more tips, reference our article http://www.blackgirlswithgardens.com/how-to-start-a-garden/

Art By Ryan Nichole-Leary

MOMENTS OF PLEASURE By Camille Bacon

Discussing masturbation and a womyn’s right to understand her own moments of pleasure.

It’s 9pm. Fifty black, young, college-educated, women are sitting in a circle. Legs crossed, smiles wide, hair twisted, bonnets on. Aside from the aforementioned things, we all have one thing in common: a desire to mold the world for the future generations of black women. We are discussing black women’s reproductive health rights and munching on greasy pizza that looks one step too close to plastic for my liking. The room is buzzing with ideas about that mysterious and unknown thing called the future. What will this elusive “future” look like for our daughters? Will they have the resources they

need to learn about their bodies? What about their pleasure? After around ten minutes of vanilla conversation, a seemingly quiet girl in the back decided it was time to stir the pot. Can you guess who it was? (Hint: Me). The conversation veered away from the politics of sex and towards sex itself. Bursting open one lid led to another. Sex led to sexuality led to orgasms led to… and that’s when it happened. With the introduction of one simple word, a room turned from the most radical, unofficial think tank ever to what I imagine the purgatory room to be like. My first mistake was to assume that

most other women my age must masturbate too. “What do you all think about masturbation?” It was met with two polar responses: 80% groans of disgust, as if hearing someone utter the word masturbation without using their indoor voice means you’re going to hell, 6% released a squeal of excitement (my three friends accounted for this 6% so it’s even more underwhelming than you initially thought). The other 14% released some strange noise of confusion that there is no name for other than “please let me buy you a vibrator.” The viscerally negative reactions spun into a slew of questions. “How do you do it?” “How do you start?” “But isn’t masturbation for people who aren’t sexually active?” “Can I use my hands?” Their questions made it immediately obvious to me that they were curious. While there were some women who were completely turned off at the thought of their own hands on their own labia, there was also a substantial amount who were not masturbating because they did not know basic information about how to do it. This got me thinking! What conversations can we hold to supply young women with the information they need to take charge of their pleasure? Surely, one between mother and child is a good first step. If I could rewrite one part of my sexual awakening story, I would include a part where my mother sat down with me and had

an honest conversation about my pleasure, part of which would have included masturbation. I eventually figured it out, but an open conversation with someone who I trusted and admired as much as my mom would have mitigated more google searches and failed orgasm attempts than I can count. My mother’s opinions and thoughts consistently inspire me. Hearing my mother speak, seriously, about topics that people find taboo such as masturbation automatically makes me more comfortable discussing them too by virtue of the close relationship we share and my admiration for her. It is time to uplift a generation of women who are not afraid to take charge of their pleasure. Part of this is teaching young girls that they, and they alone, own their bodies. As awkward as it may feel in the moment, sit down and talk to your child about their pleasure. The conversation does not have to end in you supplying them with a lifetime supply of dildos. Rather, it can look more organic. I envision a conversation in which masturbation is spoken about as a normal act, in order to help your child, destigmatize their own pleasure. While searching for some tips from the experts, I found an article by an organization named Healthy Children. The article runs through pointers for the conversation itself. They are sponsored by the American Academy of Pediatrics and you can find their tips at https:// bit.ly/1Pv80c. Some of my favorites include don’t discredit love, be real

and find the right time and place. Take a look for yourself to see if you find it as helpful as I did. It’s also okay if this resource doesn’t answer all your questions. The Center for Young Women’s Health is an educational organization dedicated to providing young women with the carefully researched information they need to take charge of their health. Following your inspiring conversation, you can also direct your child to their advice at https:// bit.ly/2PsloAo or browse the site together! While I can only guess, I believe that if the room I described at the beginning of this blog had been filled with women who had spoken about their pleasure with a mother figure, the polar negative re-

sponse to masturbation would have tipped the opposite way. Helping your daughter or nonbinary child take charge of their own pleasure by opening a conversation about masturbation may help decolonize the way we think about pleasure in today’s society. For me, I know that it would have been a lot better than self-discovery and going through countless health articles online. If you are a mother figure, I urge you to present yourself as an information source regarding pleasure, especially masturbation. If you don’t provide guidance and support, who will?

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Art By Ryan Nichole-Leary

BROWN SUGAR By Mireille Miller-Young

A series of excerpts from “A Taste for Brown Sugar,” discussing race, sex, and gender in the sexual economy.

“A politics of African-American women’s respectability first emerged in the late nineteenth century in post-emancipation Christian women’s activist circles. This “respectability politics” seeks to counter the racist stereotype of the lacivious and deviant black woman by upholding and embodying an image of gender and sexual normativity evocative of a patriarchial ideal of feminine virtue. Black women have adhered to respectability politics as part structures that cast them as sexually promiscous, and hence---according to the racist and patriarchal logic of American social life--- deserving of rape, abuse, and stigma. In addition to the politics of respectability,

black women have learned a ‘culture of dissemblance,’ which Darlene Clark Hine describes as a tactics of masking, secrecy, and disavowal of sexuality that allow black women to shield themselves from sexual exploitation. The culture of dissemblance produces a cloak of silence around black women’s sexual life. These twin cultural traditions---the politics of respectability and the culture of dissemblance---framed sexuality itself as hazardous and contributed to the sexual policing of black women.” (Preface, p.7) “In 1997 Jeannie was the first African American porn actress to be inducted into the honored Adult Video News

(AVN) Hall of Fame. By all accounts, Jeannie had an exceptionally long and successful career for an adult actress: she was well liked by her colleagues, and was a mentor to young women new to the porn business. Yet, as her acceptance speech reveals, her experience of being a black woman in the porn industry was shaped by formidable challenges. As in other occupations in the United States, black women in the adult film industry are devalued workers who confront systemic marginalization and discrimination. ...‘I just wanted to show the world. Look, I’m black and I’m beautiful. How come there are not more black women doing this?’... Finding esteem and fearlessness in showing the world her blackness and beauty, even in the cityscapes of Paris, Hamburg, or Rome, Jeannie felt she embodied an emancipated black female sexuality. Still, she remained conscious of the dual pressures of needing to fight for recognition and opportunity in the adult business, especially in the United States, and having to defend her choice to pursue sex work as a black woman. As Jeannie asserts in the epigraph, she perceived that part of the difficulty of being a professional “whore”—in photographs and films—was the expectation that she was not supposed to talk about or inhabit her sexuality in ways that would seem to exacerbate harmful stereotypes about black women, namely their alleged hypersexuality. Black women sexual

performers and workers have had to confront a prevailing stigma: if all black women are considered to be sexually deviant, then those who use sex to make a living are the greatest threat to any form of respectable black womanhood” (Introduction, p. 21-24). “Black gender and sexual outsiders—sex workers, queers, gender nonconformists, and others— offer a lens through which to view how racial power is always bound to gender and sexuality, and how those persisting under these intersecting oppressions labor to negotiate and shape the forces of race, gender, and sexuality in their lives” (Sepia Sex Scenes, p. 50-51). “Black Is Beautiful uses heterosexist ideas circulating in black cultural nationalist discourses at the time to present a regressive view of black gendered relationships. Although it is completely fabricated, the film’s documentary framing makes the claims of the black sex expert about ‘marriage customs’ and ‘the family system of Africa’ seem empirical. For instance, the narrator describes supposed African sex positions with Afrocentric names like the wazi grip , the abuba arrow , the kwango , and the mongun och , as if they really exist, and as if there is one common language in all of Africa. More problematically, when the expert argues that homosexuality in Africa is ‘relatively rare’ save in a few tribes and asserts

that African women ‘take care of their odor so that it does not offend,’ viewers may begin to understand that this Afrocentric view of black sexuality is firmly set on privileging the desires of heterosexual black men over black women or black gay men... In constructing black men as dominant partners in heteronormative, patriarchal relationships.. The film represents how black erotica at the time reflected black nationalist concerns about developing black families based on heteronormative gender and sexual behavior. In focusing on black male control of marriage, the film articulates a disciplinary fantasy of black eroticism, rather than a liberatory one” (Sexy Soul Sisters, p. 100-102). “Young, working-class black women turn to work in entertainment-oriented industries as video vixens, strippers, and porn stars because erotic performance is seen to offer opportunities not available in other kinds of sex or non-sex work. When they enter these industries, however, they are overwhelmingly assigned the distinction of ho, because the discourses and structural forces that surround black women and shape their experiences are increasingly bound up with this trope... black women in the sex industries are not simply victims or puppets manipulated by overriding forces of economic and sexual exploitation. Rather, they can be viewed as actors working

within and against larger structural and discursive constraints. Not only does the study of sex work illuminate what some black women do under advanced capitalism, it also sheds light upon how the erotic labor of working-class black women, encapsulated by the ho image, provides a site for their contestation of their oppression and even for the assertion of power.” (Ho Theory, p. 170-171). “One would think that black women’s presumed hypersexuality would give them an advantage. Ironically, however, black women porn actresses are often discredited as super-disposable ‘skanks.’ White women are the true stars of American pornography. The young, lithe, tan, busty blonde—the iconic image of the ‘porn star’—is constructed as the most valuable sexual commodity. In contrast, black women are systemically positioned in spaces and roles of lesser importance to white women...and as a result, they are more economically at risk... The perceived low return on investment of black women’s sexuality represents the difficult situation in which black female performers find themselves. It organizes how the porn industry markets black female bodies as well as how it treats black women workers at work sites.” (Behind the Scenes, p. 262-264).

HOME By AIR

I never had a home until I met you. Something to come to after a long day. A safe place to unwind and be myself. Stability and structure, a foundaion. Something that belonged to me and only me. Lying in your arms I’ve never felt more secure. I know that you’re not supposed to make homes out of people. And I know that I’venever had a home to know what a home is. But I know that I’ve found a home in you.

Feelmore Adult 1703 Telegraph Ave. Oakland, CA FB/TW: @Feelmore510 IG: @FeelmoreSexy

TIQ MILAN By Jasmine Baxter

Tiq’s Declassified Queer Survival Guide: On Love and Relationships “God was never supposed to bless a union for folks like us, and the law was never supposed to allow it,” said Tiq Milan, one-half of the duo responsible for the infamous 2016 TED Talk, “A Queer Vision of Love and Marriage.” Both black activists and creatives in their own right, Tiq, a trans man, and Kim Katrin Milan, a queer cis woman, used the TEDWomen stage to discuss the ways in

which love and inclusion can function as “tools for revolutionary change.” Two years later, we asked Tiq to evangelize about love all over again, and naturally, the conversation took a fully authentic, vibrant and inspirational turn. From stories about family, to allied relationships, to the process of learning and unlearning, this interview became a heartfelt guide to relationship survival for black and queer people nationwide, and that’s

Photo By NBC News

exactly how it’s being presented. Of course, it is important to see ourselves reflected in love and happiness, but with a journey so immensely powerful and personal, there are bound to be dozens of intricate life lessons along the way. As you navigate your own challenges, you may want to keep these tips in mind as well.

and for good reason--those concepts have rarely, if ever, left space for black queer people in their most basic definitions. After all, Tiq himself said “marriage as an institution was never really for LGBT folks. Marriage as an institution, I think, is really problematic--it’s a legal contract, it’s about economics, and a lot of it is very patriarchal.” However, we have to Tip #1: Tradition isn’t binding. remember that we aren’t bound to Often times, the words “mar- pre-formed, easy bake traditions, riage” and “tradition” are frightening, and we can always create our own;

getting married and loving it outside of its societal conventions can be a reclamation in itself. “I proposed to Kim after knowing her for two weeks,” Tiq mused. “I met her on Facebook and I proposed to her before I even met her in person, and then got married shortly after that. I think traditionally, marriage wants you to be together for two years, maybe live together... there’s this very specific pathway they want you to follow to become a married couple. All of these very conservative values that are supposed to come with this institution of marriage [are] just something we don’t even describe to in any way, shape, or form. We’re very, very liberal in our relationship and how we relate to each other.” Deciding to ground your

relationship within your own values opens the door for more candid, honest conversations that promote mutual healing and learning--a notion that the next tip builds upon. Tip #2: Lessons in love should be never-ending. Commitment often requires more personal shifts than we would like to allow, but those reservations have no real place in love; being able to coexist with someone and do it healthily demands that you do hard, uncomfortable inner work. “I think one of the things that I’ve learned--and I think it’s something that I’m still learning--is that when we’re in partnerships, we have to de-center our feelings a lot of times and put the other person’s

Tiq & Kim Katrin Milan on Building a Blueprint for Queer Marriage / Chicago Ideas

feelings first, which can be really hard for a lot of people. If it’s coming from a selfish place, or a really sensitive place, or a really triggered place, it can be hard to take a step back and breathe and be patient and try to understand where the other person is coming from. Sometimes we do that as a defense mechanism,” Tiq said. Unlearning those displays takes time. “When I was younger, in my early 20s, it was easy to just to leave. At the slightest provocation, the slightest little annoyance, just ready to walk away from an entire loving relationship. I don’t know if it comes with age or with the right partnership, but I had to learn how to stay during those tough feelings, and kinda work through what may be annoying me, what may be hurting me, or what may be scaring me, and give love a chance. I think a lot of times we don’t do that because people are scared, but to create full, loving relationships, there has to be a place to let go of fear and fall into the vulnerability that love creates for us.”

overlooked relational faucet. Sometimes we get caught up in listening to respond or listening to defend, and those patterns can be damaging. “It’s important to be able to take criticism. You have to be able to take criticism from the person that you love and understand that constructive criticism doesn’t have to be a place for us to get defensive. We have to make space for other people’s truths. How we may perceive our actions and our behaviors in the world may be very different from how it’s being received. There’s a difference between intent and impact, you know?” Being able to have those difficult conversations and move past them are important. Later, he mentioned that “change happens when we push past the point of being comfortable,” and progressing as people and as partners necessitates better support. “We have to be careful about the things that we say. We’ll see somebody going through something and then we’ll say ‘you’re not alone, this happens to a lot of people.’ I’ve Tip #3: With vulnerability comes ally- said that before, thinking that I was ship, and with allyship comes active saying the right thing, but a lot of listening. people can interpret that as you being “I think one of the keys to dismissive of their feelings. It doesn’t having really authentic allyship rela- matter that everyone is going through tionship is being able to listen with it because they’re going through it the intent of learning from somebody at that time, so it’s important to give else, and really listening with as much people the space to feel their feelings sympathy and empathy as you can and to ask genuine questions, not to for this person even when it’s hard,” invalidate how they feel.” Tiq continues, pointing to an often Tiq went on to say that “it’s

important to ask people how they feel and what they need. I can’t tell you or anybody else how to assess the needs of their partner, but we have to be open to do that ourselves. Say ‘I’m sorry that you’re going through this, or I’m sorry that this is a really rough time for you. Is there anything I can do? Is there anything that you need help with?’ And let them take it from there.” “When we ask these really open-ended questions of our partners and give them space to talk about their feelings from really deep, complicated levels, that is freedom,” he added, and this comment is perfectly tied into the fourth and final point. Tip #4: Your relationship should set you free. “A lot of times people get into relationships and marriages and be with somebody for years and it’s like ‘I can’t talk to this person about this,’ or ‘we have to keep this secret from somebody,’ or ‘I can’t feel this type of emotion,’ you know? That is just the opposite of freedom.” Cis-heteronormative views of marriage can be constraining as well; being antithetical to that “narrow mindframe,” as Tiq called it, is liberating. “Straight folks are always talking about ‘the old ball and chain’ and silly shit like that. There’s no ‘ball and chain’ here, between my wife and I; I’m not chained to her, she’s not chained to me. We’re kind of connected at the hip and we do everything

together, but I know that there’s nothing I can’t do and I hope that she feels the same way. I can achieve and do anything with her, and she has my support. It’s because we gave each other a lot of space to say the things that we need,” he emphasized. “I can just be myself. I can just drop the veil and just be my most vulnerable self with her and it’s hard to find a person in life that you can give that to. That’s where the freedom lies, in being able to express myself fully and wholly. I think that’s really, really important.” That type of love is unparalleled. Catch up with Tiq as he chronicles his human rights campaigns on his website, www.tiqmilan.com, and on Twitter and Instagram, @themrmilan

Art by Ryan Nichole -Leary

• GUIDED CARE •

daily CHECK-IN We often forget to take care of ourselves. We forget to do the basics like eat, sleep, and drink water. Most of all, we forget to check-in emotionally as well. Taking the baby steps will help us move forward inch-by-inch.

WEEKDAY M

# of Meals Ate:

Glasses of Water:

Hours of Sleep:

Mood

# of Meals Ate:

Mood

# of Meals Ate:

Glasses of Water:

Hours of Sleep:

Mood

WEEKEND S

# of Meals Ate:

Glasses of Water:

Hours of Sleep:

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# of Meals Ate:

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TO MY BELOVED BLACK MOTHER - An Open Letter -

In the past, the bodies of black women were used to uphold the capitalistic endeavors of white, slave masters. The birthing of babies was a method of survival. To be fed, to be protected, and to remain alive embraced a narrative that no longer fits modern-day. Our bodies were used non-consensually to further gynecological research, such as performing surgeries without anaesthesia on those enslaved. Multiple acts of reproductive violation and coercion have been dawned upon our bodies by medical institutions. The power dynamics that exist between care providers and patients have even left some of the most recognizable amongst us on the brinks of death. The

illusion that black women have a higher pain tolerance has erased our humanity, as we are regarded as Superwoman. And sadly, we too begin to internalize this image of perfection. We blame our luck or ourselves when something goes wrong. Plagued by systemic and institutional racism, the care that we receive does not include our voice. The stressors of society have weathered us. Some even say, “Black women’s bodies forgot how to birth.” As we all age, reproduction declines. Women’s eggs and ovaries age at various rates, and we fear because we cannot know nor measure this genetic difference. Over 30, childbirth becomes difficult for all women, but regardless

of health and class, only our maternal and infant mortality rates are sharply declining. Only our birth weights remain low, and only our preterm births continue to increase. Why is that? It is not that medical providers are not aware of this problem. Some even reply, “Yea, it’s really sad,” when you tell them the statistics. Doulas and midwifery, majorly found accessible to white, upper middle-class women, are not even suggested as a resource for black mothers. Practices that may do more harm but save money for medical institutions tend to be recommended to those on Medicaid and public health insurance. This tends to be those from low-income households, like black and latinx women. Surrounded by myths and false statements,

we sometimes find ourselves stranded and without needed physical, emotional, and mental support. “I wanted the baby. In a matter of weeks, I had lost it. We don’t talk about it. As someone who had two miscarriages, it hurts. We need to discuss and talk without judgement,” Darline Turner said. “Black women struggle with fertility but cannot afford treatment.” We need more black providers that are not indoctrinated into a system conditioned to harm us. We need to decolonize and decenter whiteness in the healthcare system, even at the expense of others’ comfort. We will not allow this behavior to continue. Our voices shall no longer be silenced!

With all my love and all my care, we must take into account the experiences of black women and rise. 47

Life of a Single Spoon (Spoons) is a community-based networking platform for black millennial women and femmes that connects us to each another, and provides us with direct access to the content, products and services tailored to meet our needs. @lifeofasinglespoon

ERICKA HART By Jessica Innis with Temar France

A Journey of Decolonizing My Queerness and Blackness “Do I like girls? Do I want to have sex with them?” Ericka thought. “Lesbian didn’t quite fit. ‘I’m bisexual,’ I said. ‘Or am I pansexual?’ There were too many labels, so I decided to stick with queer,” Ericka determined. Ericka had always been very flirtatious and vocal when it came to matters of sexuality. While attending prep school in Puerto Rico, Ericka exclaimed, “We need to talk about sex and pregnancy.” Later on, Ericka attended UMiami

Florida, a predominantly white institution, where she was able to explore her own sexual identity, especially in regards to women. Previously, Ericka had only dated cis men. She had met her first boyfriend in an AOL chatroom using ASL in Baltimore. Unlike today, they were not many “coming out” stories. Ellen was the most wellknown, but younger, queer people of color were not visible in mainstream media. Many people were “out” but

Photo By Ruben Chamorro

still in secret in college. Social media did not really exist yet except for Facebook, which was majorly used by college students. On Facebook, the option was given to define who you were interested in, and that’s when it all started. Now you see it! Throughout Ericka’s life, they have had the opportunity to experience a personal awakening, in which they have explored their blackness, sexuality, and gender identity. Living in the suburbs was something new for both of Ericka’s

parents. Both had lived in the city of Baltimore before moving to a predominantly white neighborhood. Working three jobs between the two of them, their choice was rooted in escaping the inner city, which aligned with anti-black and classist viewpoints. Along with her younger brother, there were few black people in total. Ericka soon realized that others were confused by her blackness but did not quite understand why. They would ask questions about her hair, skin, and appearance. With all the con-

sistent questioning, Ericka began to doubt herself. “Perhaps something is wrong with me,” she thought. At home, conversations surrounding blackness were present. Her father was always talking about civil right figures like Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr. He very much believed in supporting kunte cloth, afros, and black culture. Ericka still remembers the time when her father told her that the barbie doll’s hair was made with “white people hair.” It had caught her off guard and made her upset. At the time, she had not realized that she had misplaced her anger onto her father instead of Mattel for their lack of diversity, but his comment had made her feel that the barbie was not meant for her. When it came to Ericka’s hair, her parents fought. Placing the hot comb on the stove, Ericka’s mom would press her hair in the mornings, which her dad would argue against. However, Ericka would best describe her father as a pro-black assimilationist in contrast to her mother who was like “fuck white people.” With her mom, Ericka talked about her body. She’d say, “I’m fat.” And her mom would retort, “Well, you’re never gonna be skinny.” At age 13, Ericka lost her mother to breast cancer. Diagnosed in her early 30’s, Ericka’s mom had still continued to work full-time. Before passing, Ericka’s mom taught her breast self-exams. Losing her mother to breast cancer was the hardest experience of her life. Ericka’s father had soon de-

cided to relocate the family to Puerto Rico. Having the opportunity to attend an English-speaking prep school, Ericka found herself in a similar space regarding her blackness. At her prep school, students removed their involvement from public schools, which darker-skinned Puerto Ricans attended. Puerto Rican rock replaced Reggaeton, bachata, and salsa, further reaffirming anti-black pursuits. Questioning her desirability and placed in similar questioning, Ericka, again, found herself in self-doubt. Moving from one predominantly white space to another, after graduating college, Ericka had decided to join the Peace Corps as an HIV/AIDS volunteer in Ethiopia. Ericka took the opportunity to go back to her roots in hopes of finding their blackness but ended up discovering their queerness instead. “You have to pick and choose what you celebrate and explore,” Ericka said. While working in sex education, Ericka had fallen in love with a white person on the continent of Africa. Ericka laughs. “I’m not African. To my core, I’m black.” Living in Ethiopia, Ericka did not fully understand the culture but saw similarities. Walking down the street, you always greeted people. The connection to music, rhythm, and beats were oblivious. “I was never questioned about my blackness. When I talked, people would then ask, where I’m from. I’d respond, ‘America.’ And they would ask, ‘But where are you really from’, and I couldn’t answer,” Ericka

described. In Ethiopia, racism did not exist like it did in America. It took the form of colorism and sexism. With their partner, Ericka never spoke about racism. When the two returned to the U.S., it became very challenging. Ericka felt that they had cast aside their blackness for their partner. It had taken more than five years and walking down the aisle to realize that they were seeking validation. Because this person had seen them as beautiful, perhaps it was true. Such thought centered whiteness and was not what Ericka had wanted. At age 28, Ericka Hart had been diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer in May 2014. One breast was HER2-positive Stage 0 while the other was triple-negative Stage 2. By doctor’s recommendation, Ericka had gone through a double mastectomy and a year of chemotherapy. During this process, Ericka said, “You sit a lot and then you think. My mind was everywhere. I began to question how I related to the world.” Being in a medical institution, it was clear to her that they did not care about black people, yet these are the same institutions that are supposed to support and cure us. All of this helped to develop Ericka’s career as a sex educator in New York City along with her Master’s of Education in Human Sexuality from Widener University. Ericka very much enjoys academia and gets excited for calling out racism in such institutions. Curious and always questioning, Ericka asks why has she

taught at only predominantly black schools. “Why in my ten years have I not taught more than ten white students?” Ericka debates that due to the segregation in school systems, because black schools have been scrutinized, the freedom to explore gender and sexuality are not present. “Why don’t we talk about race, desire, and pleasure?” Ericka believes that such will not be afforded unless we stop centering whiteness. While also being a professor at Columbia University at the School for Social Work, Ericka’s pedagogical approach centers those oppressed as a function of getting free from power structures. Her courses, Human Sexuality and Dismantling Gender Binary, centers black sexuality and questions institutions and binaries with “How can we decolonize…?” Social workers are needed due to systems of oppressions, but Ericka challenges her students to think of how might we dismantle such systems. Aside from academia, Ericka is a model, an influencer, and a human being. Learning and exploration is her form of self-care. She also loves music and singing, which sometimes reminds her of her mother and places her in a vulnerable position. She adores nesting and plants. With generations of mothers, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers with green thumbs, Ericka also enjoys her hands deep in the soil. Her dream is to have a baby in a garden with her partner, Ebony. The two run a podcast, “Hoodrats to Headwraps,”

Photo by Luca Tombolini / Indigital.tv

named by a close friend of theirs. The conversations decolonize and dissect anything mainstream from a queer and trans intersectional perspective. Also, it allows them to archive their thoughts and provide a meaningful resource to others. As for being in the public gaze, “It’s fucking hard,” Ericka says. People put you in a box. It’s challenging. Ericka says no to a lot of things realizing that people just want to use her and seem radical. Ericka is not sure if they are comfortable with their own erotic expression. They use it as a way to shut down their own thoughts of erotic shame. “When I’m topless and naked, I cannot hide with any of that. I’m connected to something bigger than myself. Bodies get affirmed.” Recently, Ericka walked in NYFW Chromat Fall 2018 show. However, on an everyday basis, Ericka interrupts respectability politics by wearing what she wants as how she dresses should not have an affect on

her credentials and performance. “Resting. I’m looking forward to resting and taking care of my body,” Ericka responded. Post-treatment effects include fatigue and swelling, and sometimes Ericka does not feel like she is taking care of her body, but with winter coming up, she will finally get a chance to hibernate. Ericka is in the process of putting together a book. For the future, she is excited to see black liberation and the end of racism because the end of racism means the end of many things. And with that hope in mind, she is able to rise every morning. Ericka is a self-proclaimed kinky, poly, cancer-warrior, activist, sexuality educator, and performer. Ericka is also a nonbinary femme who uses she/they pronouns. If you’d like to know more about Ericka Hart, please follow them on Instagram @ihartericka or visit www.ihartericka.com

ABORTION By Ai, Cruelty (1973)

Coming home, I find you still in bed but when I pull back the blanket, I see your stomach is flat as an iron Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve done it, as you warned me you would and left the fetus wrapped in wax paper for me to look at. My son. Woman, loving you no matter what you do, what can I say, except that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve heard the poor have no children, just small people and there is room only for one man in this house.

Art By Pea the Feary

SCORPIO FORECAST By Temar France

So I was talking a lot of shit recently about how I planned to get real dark and dangerous in this piece. Some low order Scorpio season energy. Pure hateration. But, I stopped to think. Something I’ve actually begun to do lately before I say or do anything. And after an endless eclipse season and our recent retrograde in Venus, one which ushered in pesky ex lovers, fears and anxieties back into our lives, it’s really easy to lose control of our emotions. But anger, my anger specifically, is not so productive these days. In fact, it reduces my spirit entirely. I am replete. So I am not writing this for you, anger. This forecast is for me. In astrology, Scorpio rules the 8th house, which influences our experience of sex, inheritance, mystery and merging. The 8th house is so much more than those few things, but those things shape a part of the picture of our personal relationship to what represents power and possession in real practical ways. In the 8th house Scorpio lusts for power. After

all, the world is precarious place. One where what you don’t know can quite literally kill you. Scorpio understands this. It’s not just scorpionic to be attentive to the power dynamics that determine your life outcomes. We all experience this influence from Scorpio. Scorpio guards the outer houses and we must all move through Scorpio or be ended by it. The danger of knowing too much of course is that you are then at risk of being enmeshed so deeply in something you may find it difficult to deposes it. After all, there is no complete control. But if there is one astrological season where where we revisit the nature and influence of power in our lives it’s this one. I enjoy writing about Scorpio’s demonic psychoanalytical tendencies because before one’s astro essence can pass through the The 8th house, and to be clear, this is the natural order of spiritual and emotional maturation, one must first pass through the 7th house, commonly associated with marriage, partnership, equality and ruled by Libra. Libra has

a lot to do with Scorpio and I although I like to flame Libra for being a spineless scammer ho, you know what Libra low key teaches us? How to be a fake bitch. Yes. Thank Libra for teaching us how to smile at our enemies over wine and cheese selfies. Thank them for teaching us that our egos and our obsession with it, is not so important in the grand scale of our grander vision. You see, the 7th house (Libra) doesn’t want you to betray yourself. The risk is too great really. Life and the partners we are lucky to hold are not to be trifled with in the 7th house. But what Libra did for us was perfect the performance of dispossession. Humbling oneself in the face of obtuse abuse of power over the ease of resorting to the wretchedness of enacting harm and violence on humanity. Thinking your experience of the world is particularly special is stupid. Sure, there is no one else like you and the 7th house understands this. Libra is still a ruler of flexing. No one adorns the physical being like Libra. They are masters at showing out, but what you also learn from the 7th house is that it’s ultimately not in your interest or anyone else’s for that matter, to fight a careless battle, especially with someone you may need later, at any moment. No this doesn’t mean keeping dead things in water, but relation is always more complicated than our shallow and ego attuned perception. The 7th house wants you to understand that keeping peace and

ultimately being kinder to yourself in the process (however that may look for you) will actually help you achieve the company of the right people. The people who need people. The people who need you. You simply cannot be ready for Scorpio seasons transformational energy if you can’t appreciate the power of humble relation perfected in Libra. Power means having control of your life and the outcomes you seek in the world. But ultimately, just yours. Being a human who is good and useful to this world is a stunning feat and If you do not have a self to control, an interior of agency and power, you will be shark food. Life is not a women’s college gender studies class that you post about on Instagram. Life is scary. And if you don’t have YOU under control, you really don’t got shit, do you? Scorpio has no time for this. And we collectively feel this. Now to be fair, these Scorpio niggas like to take shit a lil too far sometimes. Ultimate power does ultimately corrupt lil nigga. Be careful. But life evolved through the 8th house is something serious and beautiful. Bit of a treacherous pursuit and pure delight. We all have every aspect of each sign within us. Perhaps it was very Libra of my Gemini ass to not completely go off and get too personal in this. But I like my peace and my quiet. And in case anyone forgets - this is my forum. Something I am learning from as I wield my power through it’s work in the archive.

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bloom Contributors Aug. 2018

AIR

Adrianna Isis Rivers(or Air) is a current college Senior at Smith College. She’s from Brooklyn, New York and identifies as an Afro-Latina. She’s been writing for as long as she can remember, ranging from stories to poems. While she spends most of her time writing and her end goal is to move to Gloria and to become a pediatric travel nurse.

Camille Bacon

Camille Bacon hails from Chicago, Illinois. As a lover, a fighter and a die-hard believer in the sheer power of vulnerability she aims to shine her light on everyone that crosses her path. She is a junior at Smith College and although she is taking the semester off she plans to take campus by storm again soon. Her academic interests lie in exploring how the “double jeopardy” of sexism and racism move to impact black 60

women’s reproductive health. Beyond that, she wants to de-stigmatize black women’s expressions of their sexuality by openly speaking about taboo subjects such as sex and pleasure.

Darline Turner

Darline Turner is the founder of Mamas On Bedrest & Beyond, personalized home care service dedicated to supporting and educating high risk pregnant women, especially those on prescribed bed rest. She brings over 20 years of experience as a physician assistant. Additionally, she brings the unique perspective as both a clinician and a high risk, older mom (who gave birth at 37 and 40 respectively) to meet the unique physical and emotional needs of high risk pregnant women.

Hillary Tacuri

Hillary Tacuri is a senior at Smith College who is majoring in English Language

and Literature. Born and raised in Queens, New York, she is very passionate about reading and writing. She hopes to pursue a career where she is able to write and find the truth behind every story she chases or curious about. She enjoys reading, writing short stories, drawing, and editing her Spotify playlists in her free time.

Jasmine Baxter

Jasmine Baxter is a current senior Communication Studies major at the University of Montevallo in Alabama. She began her writing career with quaint short stories and vibrant poetry, but is now moving toward nonfiction as a means of representation for queer black people. Her end goal is to finish her doctoral studies and find ways to give back to marginalized communities.

Julissa Nunez

Julissa Nunez is a Gotham native, whose

roots reside in Spanish Harlem. She is currently a sophomore in attendance at Smith College where she will soon declare her majors in Studio Art and English Language & Literature with a Creative Writing Emphasis. Julissa hopes to one day establish a writer’s house to serve her local community in El Barrio, New York to provide creative spaces for budding youth desiring to dip their toes in the bookish arena. She is a champion for the young blood everywhere wanting to feel their existence in everything they create and see change. She rides her cruiser, Wolfgang, in her spare time and practices Romanian in between mouthfuls of sweet, sesame dumplings she’s been gifted from friends. Julissa has never been in love but is absolutely smitten with the world. This is Julissa’s first literary publication.

Lyn Patterson

Lyn Patterson is a poet originally from Seattle, Washington. She has lived all over the east coast and currently

travels while teaching online courses to aspiring teachers. She is inspired by poetry because of the healing and reflection it provides both author and reader. Themes she explores are intersectionality, feminism, identity, non western religious beliefs, and relationships in the digital age.

Mireille Miller-Young

Mireille Miller-Young is a feminist and an associate professor of feminist studies at the University of California, Santa Barbara. Her research explores race, gender, and sexuality in visual culture and sex industries in the United States.

Nyri Wells

Nyri Wells is a budding anthropologist straight out of New Jersey. She’s got her sights set on completing her degrees by 2019, and she can’t wait. Though she’s a full time student, she’s dedicated to using her appreciation for anthropology and environmental studies to better our public health outlook, as a country. When

she is not in school she enjoys making time for activism... or watching Netflix. She views her voice as her most powerful weapon, and hopes it only becomes stronger here at redflowers. tions. She received her undergraduate degrees in Anthropology and International Studies from Trinity College, (Hartford,CT). She is also a certified Be Body Positive facilitator. Kris is the author of the wholeness lifestyle blog LiveLaughBoss.com that focuses on worklife integration and whole-life living for young, high-aspiring professionals.

Pea the Feary

Pea the Feary (Faerie) considers herself an Afrofuturist. Her work is about possibility, potential and realization. She is a strong believer in universal consciousness and Pea the Feary aims to spread the idea that everything in the universe is connected. The possibilities of what the universe can provide are endless and all within reach 61

because we are already connected to everything. She wants as many people as possible to understand that they are a part of every bit of this world. That gives us the power and the right to make things happen. Pea the Feary believe sthat the black voice, (the voice of the black woman especially) is one that when used, can be the voice that will lead society towards expansion. The same particles that make up the stars in the sky and water in the ocean are in all of us. All that matters is how those particles are arranged. She truly believes that this concept can be understood by the black community in such a way that when we implement it we make gigantic leaps.

Raegan Thomas

Raegan Thomas is a young African American woman from Dallas, Texas majoring in studio art at Smith College. Her chosen mediums are drawing and painting; with a current interest in ink and watercolor. Raegan’s focus is to use her art 62

to portray black women as angelic and ethereal beings to offset the false, stereotypical, and demeaning labels that society imposes. Raegan is currently the Arts and Culture Co-Chair of the Black Students’ Alliance. She intends to use the knowledge and skillset gained from Smith and BSA to land her museums and galleries everywhere.

institutions. Currently, she resides in Cincinnati where she continues to paint and draw.

Ryan Nichole-Leary

Temar France is a mystic digital artist from New York City and 2018 Smith College graduate. Her work in photography, video and the digital humanities explores the material culture of black women’s erotic labor in visual culture as well as black female subjectivity in performance, esoteric practices and botanic life. Temar’s archival project and documentary, Analog Erotic, 2018 is a curated visual essay through the history of black women’s erotic performance in print publications from the 1950’s to the present. Temar is the co-host of The Rap Scholars and the Marginalia Podcast where she

Born and raised in Cincinnati, Ohio, Ryan has been creating visual art as young as one. Her parents encouraged her and allowed he to draw on the walls to expand her creativity as well as nurtured her gifts by frequent trips to art museums, galleries, and artist studios. Throughout high school and college, she studied art history and visual arts; ultimately earning her B.A. in Art History. Additionally, she took post-baccalaureate courses in art history, art education, and museum studies. She shares her love for art as an art educator in schools, universities, museums and cultural

Taryn Andre

Taryn Andre is a photographer and fashion tech entrepreneur residing in Atlanta, Georgia. www.tarynandre.com/ IG: imtarynandre

Temar France

archives her study of the sexual culture and economies in Hip Hop and the black women’s erotic labor central to its distribution.

Partners Black + Well

A community embracing what it means to be authentic, mindful, revolutionary, black + well. “issa lifestyle”

Black Girls With Gardens

Jasmine is the creator of Black Girls With Gardens. By trade, she is a psychotherapist who understands that her purpose is to help others. She has been fortunate to fulfill my passion in many avenues including my love for plants. I’ve been gardening for multiple years and realize outside of my family, I rarely saw and connected with women like myself who shared the same interests. Thus, Black Girls With Gardens was born.Starting in 2017, she has worked to provide women of color like myself with a space dedicated to us

and our love of plants. BGWG is committed to providing support, inspiration, education, and representation for women of color interested in all levels of gardening. Based out of Florida, I’ve launched 2 sister/ brother (Black Gardeners Organization & Black Men With Gardens) brands and currently preparing the launch of our digital gardening magazine, Garden Noire, in less than a year.

Blk + Grn

At BLK + GRN, our all Black artisans are carefully chosen by Black women’s health experts who know what an all-natural product truly looks like. We’ve seen firsthand the damaging effects harmful ingredients and practices have had on our community. Our marketplace connects Black women with natural lifestyles to high-quality, toxic-free brands that share in our mission of health, wellness and community cultivation. We promise to maintain that connection by

curating, crafting and consuming consciously for you.

Dear Black Women

Our founder Florence Noel felt a profound need for more intentional safe spaces for Black women by Black women, spaces that rose to the occasion of our arrival, that encouraged us to be fuller expressions of who we are, that gave us more than they took. Eager to find these spaces, Flo decided to create them and with the help of hundreds of Black women, Dear Black Women was born. Dear Black Women is an affirmation movement for Black women by Black women.

Life of a Single Spoon A community-based networking platform for black millennial women and femmes that connects them to one another, as well as the content, products and services tailored to meet their needs. Fonts used:

‘Elley’, ‘Nilland’ , ‘Coolvetica‘, ‘jabjai’ , ‘Ink Free‘, ‘Roboto’, ‘Roboto Condensed’. 63

bloom Editor-in-Chief Letter Nov. 2018 Dear Bloom Magazine Readers, Thank you for popping up for another issue of Bloom Magazine! For this issue, things were hectic (as always) mainly because the content and the topic had changed from its original title. The topic was initially, “Sex, Relationships, and The Black Erotic.” It was changed to “Sex, Relationships, and Reproduction,” because I thought that the context of black motherhood was a topic not often discussed. Also, the need to diversify our content and contributors proved to be an amazing feat. Nonetheless, I’m glad that you, our readers, have stuck around. And if you’re new, welcome! There’s so many more exciting issues to come. I have said this countless times that Bloom Magazine was never intended to be what it is today. For it to be online, in print, and even in retail, is a dream I had never concurred. My only hope is that Bloom Magazine continues to grow beyond my imagination. I want my unimaginable to become the reality for this magazine. Inspired by so many black women and black identities, I want nothing more but for Bloom to be loved and to be shared because it was created with you in mind, no one else. As for content, we are always looking for contributors either creative writing, research articles, photography, art, etc. We also work

with journalistic contributors to write our features, which was a recent add from our last issue. We believe in the power of stories and sharing each other’s truth. In fact, that is how redflowers came to be. Stories that are often not told, lost, or are forgotten deserve to be heard. We, unfortunately, cannot fit every story into Bloom Magazine, so we created Stories as a separate, online platform stories.redflowers.co Where is Bloom Magazine headed? We will continue to only release quarterly as the redflowersCARE division begins to create its online Guided Care program and launch CARE Boxes next winter season. The redflowers Media department is also currently working on a documentary and is moving its main location, so four issues a year is currently all that we can handle. We plan to continue with feature pieces preferably in a profile format. We plan to expand our partnerships and reach out to advertisers. We want to get more of your input and receive community responses and initiate discussions on topics and begin conversations. We want to support you and provide more ways to help you reach your goals, self-reflect and heal. Thank you, Jessica Innis Editor-in-Chief of Bloom Magazine

Photo By Jessica Innis

bloom Nov. 2018

Bloom Magazine - Nov. '18

Articles inside

Ericka Hart

Zoe Flowers

Black Mothers Are Dying