Bloom Magazine - Mar. '19 by Bloom Magazine

bloom Brought to You by redflowersCARE

Mar. 2019

ISSN: 2638-1419

Art by Raegan Thomas

Photo by Justice Symone

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12 / Svetlana Chernienko Founder of Clozet Freak & Mental Health Advocate

22 / Roz Mays “The Diva” Pole Instructor & Personal Trainer

30 / Jazzmyne Jay Buzzfeed Producer & ASOS Insider Model

38 / Marsha Elle Singer-Songwriter & Amputee Model

THE READS 6 / Build-A-Body Written By CODE S

16 / Retribution Written By Julissa Nunez

26 / Are All Bodies Good in The Eyes of Academia? Written By Nyri Wells

34 / “Power of the P” Written By Auralynn Rosario

44 / Pisces Season Written By Temar France

46 / Contributors’ Page Bloom Magazine. Published March 2019 by REDFLOWERSCO, LLC. bloom.redflowers.co

50 / Editor-in Chief Letter

BODY POSITIVITY “Are you repulsed by your own body? Maybe that’s something worth exploring. Puritanical values are basic, boring, and embedded in pretty much everybody- b*tch, you ain’t special. The shit’s called a thirst trap for a reason and it’s less about other people and more about being thirsty for your MOTHERF*CKING SELF. Try being thirsty for YOURSELF. It is magical. Sublime. Heavenly. And it feels a lot better than being mad at strangers for trying to love themselves.” --- Jessamyn Stanley, Yoga Teacher

Photo by Clarke Sanders

Build-A-Body By CODE S

ime for some real talk because this ish has been wild lately. What am I talking about? Come on! I’m talking about this “Build-A-Body” culture we have going on. I’m not talking about sistas going to the gym to get their gains, body right, and health up. I’m talking about those going under the knife piecing together their bodies like they at the Build-A-Bear workshop. Now, in all honesty, what you decide to do with your body is your business. So no, I’m not hating on these Dr. Miami built mamis. I’m talking specifically about the culture and the messages being translated to society about how our bodies should look and be represented. This kind of reminds me of when I was watching Deliver Us From Eva, and I was looking at Gabrielle Union hair. I dead thought she had grown that ish from her scalp, and I was like why doesn’t my hair do that. I thought that maybe if I got relaxer, it would flow just like hers in the movie. What a con that was. It’s like that Twitter debacle in which Brandy’s microbraids might have been a wig the entire time. Regardless, you have all these young girls, looking at these images and women as influencers and inspiration without any dialogue about body appreciation and body diversity. This issue has gone on forever. Before people was obsessing with boobs. Nowadays, people obsessing over ass, “thicc,” or the perfect hourglass. Sistas with pudges talking about nip tucks. Apparently, people removing floating ribs for a smaller waist. RIBS?!! Like we removing body parts for what?! For instagram pics? You might as well bind your feet while you at it. I get it though. We all have our insecurities, whether we’re big, small, or in-between. There’s a part of us that feels like how we look is just not enough, and society, especially social media, intensifies this feeling. And don’t get me wrong, there are times

when social media can engender confidence for those who have a hard time with portraying radical self-love. When someone you see on Instagam decides to be bold or embrace who they are and their authenticity, that is a moment to be celebrated. When we start doing poser type ish to get likes and views to satisfy an audience and lose ourself in the process, that is when things go sour and spew out like trash. I want to take this moment to talk about black bodies specifically because I feel like this craze exploded a lot more with the culture vultures and the blackfishing that was going on. I also want to say this off the bat. Not all Black women or Black identities are born naturally curvy PERIODT! We have our own range of body shapes, as depicted by the various ethnic tribes within the continent of Africa. Biologically, some of us may be more muscular, slim, or fat. Models like Naomi Campbell and Grace Jones have an inverted triangle body shape. So yes, Black women are also getting built up like the Iron Giant because we all don’t have that “perfect” shape. Some of us are top heavy. Some of us are middle heavy. Some of us are bottom heavy. Some of us are allaround heavy. We are a mixed bag of treats and goodies. This narrative started back in the day with the oversexualization and exhibition of black women. We had these white slave owners caging up women like Sara Baartman, a South African woman, who was known for having a huge ass. They lableled her as a freak calling her “Hottentot Venus” in London. White slave owners were always doing some f*cked up wild ish no lie. Anyways, this imagery of Black women began to circulate when the culture vultures took it upon themselves to look none other than the stereotypical images of Black women except, you know, not Black. Everyone wanted to be made. Everyone wanted to be a doll. Everything soon became fabricated. How come her waist looks so thin? She’s wearing a corset. How come you can’t see her cellulite? She’s wearing ultra sheer stockings. How come her boobs so big? She got them done. Let me remind you. Nothing is wrong with doing this. If this inspires confidence for

yourself, do it! Just do not do it for other people. Let me tell you how bodies are actually designed. We got chubby faces, double chins, saggy boobs, rolls, love handles, pudges, stretch marks, cellulite, lopsidedness, wide calves, wide feet, little booties, areas too big, areas too small, etc. We got a ton load of insecurities constructed by society about our bodies and simply not enough love. Have you ever just hugged yourself and said how much you loved your body? Have you ever rubbed or massaged the same areas that you feel insecure about with a smile basking in warmth? Have you ever fully embraced who you are? If we are going to obsess over bodies, can we also obsess over body acceptance and body positivity. Can we stop talking so much about what we need to change about ourselves? Like how many conversations am I going to have to sit through about “Omg I’m so fat. Like I really wish I didn’t eat what I did for lunch today”? I’m honestly f*cking tired of these conversations. I’m real close to decking someone in their throat for real though. I only say this because how negatively the word, fat, is being used in a discussion. What is wrong with being fat? What is wrong with being skinny? What is wrong with being slim? What is wrong with being thick? I need us think about the words we use, and the message we send by how we utilize them in conversation. It is true that African-Americans have the highest rate of health risks for Type II diabetes and high blood pressure, so I get talking about healthier eating habits and lifestyles. There’s also an antiquated comparison that if someone is heavier, they are not living a healthy lifestyle. FALSE! There are many people in the plus size range drinking water, going to the gym, and eating veggies like all the other “fit” people. “Fit” people come in all shapes and sizes. By looking at someone, you cannot determine their lifestyle and habits. I know people with noodles for arms that eat only potatoes and pasta. I also know girls with a gut that runs five times a week. Like actually run. I still don’t know how people be running for actual enjoyment. But yes, sis, they do in fact exist. The conversation around healthy

Ever since I was a lil big b*tch, I always wanted to be that b*tch ~Lizzo Beating

bodies need to change. Because I know some cut up Barbie dolls that be going straight to the gym to take some pics and that’s it. And a side tid bit, for those who do get work done, it’s still work. To maintain their shape and form, they too got too hit them squats and russian twists. Don’t think for a second that any body, natural or man-made, comes easy. It’s exactly like when my ass thought a relaxer would magically solve all my problems. My point is, for multiple reasons, body shaming needs to end towards others and ourselves. It’s doing nothing but spreading negativity. And what we don’t need is more negativity. I have been asked whether it was possible to photoshop an individual to reduce the look of their thighs and arms. I refuse such requests. People don’t like the photos taken of themselves because the areas that we are most insecure about are on full display. People say things like “I hate this. I wished it looked more like that.” I find myself reassuring others constantly that the body that they occupy is beautiful just the way it is intended. I say these things out loud because I don’t want societal expectations to be a daunting figure in the mind of someone I care about. It eats us up like a disease, and we casually let it do so in everyday conversation. Then we have girls, women, and anyone for that matter comparing themselves to someone who didn’t even look like how they did now a couple months back. And wack men like Future, who is taking over clubs telling them not to let in “fat girls,” is definitely not helping our current situation. It’s 2019 fam! 2019! We still fat shaming? Honestly, we still doing a lot of things like being racist and sexist, so what do I really expect? Often ignored when it comes to black bodies is that we also suffer from eating disorders such as; anorexia, bulimia, and compulsive eating. Because many of our bodies are naturally muscular, we tend to weigh more off the bat. We also try to fit into society’s norms, which leads to some of us to look at starvation and overexercising as a means to lose weight. This ain’t it boo. Eating disorders are psychological and complicated. Telling someone “you too mawga” or “you need to eat some food” as well as “you too big,” is just stirring the pot of trouble. And black families do this ish all the time. Black families don’t have any filter sometimes when it comes to being sensitive. And if you appear too sensitive, they be like “you have thin skin.” I don’t. You just too busy cutting me up with that damn

knife, Auntie, and I feel like I’m about to bleed out. Despite knowing all this information about society’s relation to Build-A-Bodies and natural bodies, there’s a part that will never change. When someone says something about you in poor light and heavy judgement, it hurts, even more so if it’s your family. Social media has made it easy for people to be keyboard warriors trolling from the bedside corners of their rooms. I imagine trolls to be gothic vampires acting as succubi types stealing the happiness and joy of others as sustenance. In actuality, the majority are probably regular degular people like you and me. Shoot! I don’t even know you. You could be a troll. I wonder how many times I’ve seen comments on Instagram degrading bodies. “Your thighs are way too big,” “You need to lose some weight,” and “No one wants to see your stomach.” But perhaps we also have to pay attention to the way that we give out compliments like “snatched,” “skinny legend,” and “Miss Thickums.” To some this may seem like compliments, for others these could serve as a reminder of their own body insecurities without you having a single clue. Aite so hopefully after reading this you can understand that I was never attacking Build-ABodies. Build-A-Bodies also go through their own set of body acceptance issues before and even after their procedures. Why? Because sometimes changing yourself doesn’t fix the problem or the trauma with how society has normalized how we talk about bodies currently. It’s much bigger and deeper than that, but our annoying asses always got to simplify ish. My point was that we need to talk about these things like really NEED. We are not even realizing how we are supporting only a certain figure, or we are blatantly ignoring it since all the FashionNova and PrettyLittleThing models have all the same “perfect” slim thick bodies. Only SavagexFenty is really out here showing a full spectrum of body diversity. Bodies need to be celebrated and appreciated from the jump, especially black bodies. I believe that we can get to that point once begin to the shift the conversation into that direction and normalize body diversity in entertainment, fashion, and social media. In the meantime, let’s mind our own f*cking business and worry only about ourselves. Hopefully, we can live our most true and authentic lives fully embracing all that makes us who we are.

Photo by Clarke Sanders

The Truths of Svetlana Chernienko Written By Nichole Rondon

Trigger Warning: Domestic abuse, violence, rape

"My mother always said I was an angel with broken wings. let's finally learn to repair them," svetlana thought.

I walked down the lobby of the Marriott Hotel on the 12th floor to meet a tall woman with a blonde shaved head, dressed in all black. The night before she had just attended her engagement party thrown by her Real CatWalk family. The room was quiet but her warm and loving energy filled the air. The next few hours I would have never expected to find a new meaning to the phrase “body positivity.” Svetlana Chernienko, a Model, Actress, Domestic Abuse survivor, and Mental Health Advocate, took some time to share her truths with me on a Sunday afternoon, in efforts to help others heal. Svetlana was born to a Russian mother and a Nigerian father in 1978. During her childhood, she had various role models from whom she drew strength. For instance, her grandmother was a concentration camp survivor. Her father served as a member of the United States Military and even received a Purple Heart for his service. After his death in September 2014, President Barack Obama honored him by personally sending a letter to Svetlana, showing his gratitude for her father’s service. Yet out of everyone in her family, Svetlana describes her mother as her rock. Though her mother was born in Canada, she was raised in the Soviet Union and experienced many injustices during the Cold War era, but she had fought her way out. She liberated herself from these horrors by writing a letter to the then Prime Minister of Canada seeking refuge. Svetlana reflects, “...I get my fighting spirit from her.” However, Svetlana also had her own painful experiences and challenges in which she had to show great strength and perseverance. During our time together, she shared an experience she had never shared with anyone before. “I am talking about it because I know it is a part of my story, and it is a part of my truth and this might be able to help someone with trauma.” Svetlana was also Sexual Assualt survivor but shied away from sharing this to the public. Despite the fact that they were super close, Svetlana had even kept this experience from her mother for many years. When Svetlana was growing up in Côté Neige, a neighborhood in Montreal, she was on the basketball, dance, track, and volleyball team. She was considered more of a tomboy and hung out with mostly guys. One afternoon she forgot her keys at one of her guy friend’s house and was told to pick it up by her friend who was dating one of

the guys. As soon as Svetlana walked in, she had a gut feeling she had stepped into a bad situation . She realized that she had been lured into a trap. “These three guys beat the shit out of me and raped me. I was beyond distraught. One of them took, I don’t know what they took- the doctor was trying to figure it out, but he put something that cut me (…) it could have been a knife and he put it inside of me and cut me and that’s where I got scar tissue in my uterus, where I was told I wasn’t going to be able to have children.” Svetlana recalls painfully. Svetlana is now a mother of four and is beyond grateful for her family. Svetlana also struggled with drug addiction during her twenties. “My most painful lesson, was when I first really got into modeling...I got into drugs for a very short period of time. It was more like a curiosity sort of thing, and a lot of the models used drugs back then. It was a horrible thing, but it’s been openly known as the cocaine diet. You would do that so you would not eat, get slim, and then you would binge on chocolate cake to get your sugars up so you would still be able to function,” she reflects. Even though Svetlana didn’t do them for a long time, the drugs began to change her. She stopped caring about her life, she no longer covered up her bruises and she became very self-destructive. It was only until she saw a Myspace picture of herself that her friend uploaded that she realized she did not like who she was becoming. She remembered instantly feeling sick to her stomach. “It was that moment, seeing myself and being like who the hell is that (...)that I realized that the road I had been on was not for me,” she said tearing up. Svetlana also dealt with an abusive relationship in her twenties, in which she and her almost one-year-old son were kidnapped by her violent ex-boyfriend, who came to Montreal with his friend and lured her and their child to New York. He stressed to her that his mother deserved to meet her grandson. Svetlana was held hostage for days with her son. “Imagine being in your REM sleep and you wake up and you feel like you can’t breathe. It feels like those dreams where you can’t move, but you wake up and you see somebody that you think loves you sitting on top of you with a wire hanger twisting it around your neck. How do you get out of that,” she described. Svetlana was finally released when the Canadian authorities stepped in. The picture in this article

was captured when she was leaving JFK airport with her son after their traumatic kidnapping. She has carried it in her wallet for 21 years and it serves as a reminder of what she experienced and how she made it through. As a result of this abuse, Svetlana spent many years battling Generalized Anxiety Panic Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and Depression. In the years to come, Svetlana began fighting for the better life she knew she and other survivors deserved. One of the ways in which Svetlana started fighting for herself and other women in her work with Real Catwalk, an inclusive fashion movement focused on body positivity. In her forties, Svetlana feels like she is now in a new chapter in her life: “I am growing a lot more. I’m looking at myself in the mirror and being comfortable with that. Almost a chapter of rebirth.” Upon speaking with Svetlana, I learned that body positivity is a spiritual force. It is a total body, mind, soul experience of acceptance. It goes beyond physical positivity but deeper into the realms that make us who we are. Svetlana encourages everyone to share their story and plunge into accepting their truths. Today Svetlana is finding endless ways to have new relationships with her body and to go against everything that society, social media or commercials show and tell us. She founded her first nonprofit WelcomeToMyEveryday; in order to create platforms where everyone can share their true stories. “There is a semicolon at the end because it is a story, its everybody’s story and it does not come to an end.” Her nonprofit organization for Mental Health and body positivity’s mission is to build art/music wellness centers that help people that are suffering from PTSD, Generalized anxiety, depression and body issues, so they may have a creative outlet to express themselves in a positive way and meet others. Svetlana is no longer dwelling on the past as she has decided that the universe and God has a plan for her, and she doesn’t need to fight against it anymore. She is authentically loving herself and she owes a lot of that to her catwalk fam, her fiance, her children, and her mother who have shown her unconditional love as she navigated through various tumultuous experiences; she hopes that by sharing these truths, others will be motivated to heal from their past and use their experiences as a bridge to a new path forward.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;It takes a lot of courage to look back at your life and reflect but reflection is a gift for your spirit. It lets the deepest parts of who you are come forth and be discovered. It makes it possible for you to create something new.â&#x20AC;?

Photo by Natalia D. provided by Svetlana

Who was the first person to break your heart? When w the last time you cried? My father. Tonight. I’ve learned that the coldness you feel fr the whiplash of a winter wind, the shiver that ripp up your spine from the chill of ice against hot skin, a the cold from a bathroom floor like the one I lie on, all different. We associate cold with harshness, there’s nothing quite like a gust of wind that snatch your breath from you to remind you that you are ali There is absolutely nothing like the pleasure you f down to the curl of your toe from a lover who teas you with a shock of cold to a crimson cheek. A there is nothing like the crude cold of the mediu tone grey and white tiled bathroom floor of y NYCHA building, lapping up the salt from your te to inform you of the fact that you are indeed sentie And that you will cry every now and then. And ma more times beyond that, if you can endure it. I collected all my pieces and huddled th in a corner beneath flickering dim yellow light lik dying deer, calling her emotions in for a group sessi Keep it together, I told myself, keep it together, my shoulders cracked and my throat did this d heaving thing. There was rapping at the door. mind drowned out the indistinct yelling serving as background noise. A million scenarios ran threw head with all the fucked up things I could do to mys but I decided against it because I could see Eva wrinkle in her brow that marked her worry. You ha to stop punishing your body for being your body, s had said once. Evans was the last person I wanted disappoint. Not just because she was my therap She’s also my best friend (she doesn’t know this course, and I did not plan on telling her so. It’s not l she’d tell me I’m her best friend back. It goes agai professionalism, and that’s all I was, a professio undertaking). I snapped back to the present as I he him through the wall separating us, “Savannah op this door! Get out, right now!” For a brief momen pleaded to be frozen into the ground, but the shiv had long ceased and the cold would no longer keeping me company. I wiped my tears and play

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/ R etribution

Written By Julissa Nunez, Illustration By Noahamin Trigger Warning: Sexual assault and Suicide

back the scene in my head. It was his voice. “Why doesn’t your fat ass help around with carrying these boxes? You’re going to leave your brothers to do all the work, as usual?” I slapped him then. That was my mistake. I’m paying for it right now. My father didn’t stop loving me because I was fat. He stopped loving me because I was suicidal, depressed, uncompliant, and fat. The antidepressants had sideeffects that triggered my rapid weight gain, more than fifty pounds in the past year and a half. When I tried to get off them, I was too lost in my own fucked mental landscape to force myself to do anything about it. And he was abusive. In every way. Ultimately, I was an expense that wasn’t worth investing in, but he did it anyway, and it was hurting me more than it was helping. He was afraid I’d lose it again, and he’d have to cover more medical bills. I could hear it in his voice now. Not the fear for my life but for the quality of his, and it made me sick. So I threw up, wiped myself off and then opened the door. I was met with a slap. My father was a dead man long before mother died. What was in front of me now was Carl. Scratch that. Above me. He was always looming, and I was always too small. “You want to explain that little stunt you pulled back there?” He practically snarled. Like a rabid hunter chasing down its game. The impact reverberated through my head, and everything slowed as I tried to get up. I gripped the bathroom sink as I tried to level myself. “Come on, fatty. Get up. Now you’re just looking a little sad.” I dared myself to meet his eyes and I did. I wondered if I could find anything redeeming in them. Then I realized this was how this game would perpetually play out. He’d commit the slaughter and then I’d say he slashed the deer by accident. I’d been trying to look for a father in my predator, but I could not. Not anymore. “Fat? Is that it, huh? Not fat enough for you to keep your hands off,” I gritted it through my teeth. His eyes nearly twinkled at the sound of that, followed by a glint that replaced it.

“Well,” he said, flickering a look up and down, “If there’s one good thing about girls your size, it makes it harder for you to run.” I kneed him then, right where I knew it would hurt. Then I did something I thought I could never do. Run. I ignored the sound of him slumping onto the ground, grunting expletives as I raced off. I floored the 17 flights down my projects building, and ran with no real endgame in sight. Eventually, I found myself gunning for a downtown train station. Guilt ripped through my heart for leaving my brothers behind, because I knew then that I would never go back. I sent a prayer that they would one day forgive me, that they would take after me and do the same. But that was too big a leap of faith, and I’ve stopped sending out promises to God a long time ago. Not having a Metrocard on me, the only option was to dip under the MTA swiping machine, which did not go unnoticed by the subway employee who yelled after me. Luckily, the Brooklyn-Bridge bound 6 train was pulling into the tracks. I darted to the farthest train car at the end and sat myself in the only seat, sandwiched between two male New Yorkers who made me want to scratch my skin off every time they jolted against me. Once we were moving, my mind hazed. I strayed away any thoughts of the future. The prospects for what my life would be going forward. I didn’t think of mother, whether she would be angry or proud of my decision of doing what she couldn’t. I drifted into a tableau of subway travel, immobile for most of the trip. After what felt like hours of passing stops and stations, my senses awoke as the metro pulled into Canal. I don’t know why I chose to get off here but I did. I managed through the car doors just as they were closing, followed the steps out the station, and took in the sight of Manhattan’s Chinatown. Vendor stands filled with plump fruits, tourists grabbing captures of all the gentrified spots and locals who let out exasperated sighs at the sight of all this. Secretly, amid the bustle of the overflowing streets, I had hoped that on my forehead read the words cry for help, and that someone would come along and fix me. But no one cared. No, that sounds too personal. No one noticed. Besides, I was more

than a fair share of baggage that any reasonable human could carry and when it came down to it, the truth was, I wouldn’t wish me on anybody. I didn’t cry at that. I wish I did but I think I dried up, and something inside of me fizzled out. I let out an audible gasp when it happened and that’s how I knew to what extent of broken I could be. But there was no option of keeping still, as introduced to me by all the jostling bodies shoving me to get out of their way. My feet carried to some direction unknown, some avenue and I saw a repeated series of signs, the words each time the same. They announced a gallery series happening on a strip of Canal Street. I had no intention of walking into any of them, when one caught my eye. And it’s always like this, huh? The unexpected things. A woman stood at the front, sectioned off by a black curtain that concealed what was behind. She was meant to filter who and how many could come in. There was a cardboard sign written on with cursive letters in sharpie marker. Upon my attempt to read, the woman came into view, obstructing my line of sight. “Hi!” She said. I greeted her in kind. “Are you here to check this out?” She had asked. No was the honest answer. However, it wasn’t like I had a reason to say no, and I wasn’t opposed to welcoming momentary distractions. When I replied to her “yes,” her face dipped into a somber expression. Although not quite somber, more so deliberate. Set. Then came the questions. “Who was the first person to break your heart?” It took me off guard. Not just the question, but that I instantly knew my answer to it. I responded as if it were a reflex, as if I had done this sort of thing before. I hadn’t. “My father,” I said. I thought my answer would surprise her. It didn’t. In fact, her face remained a hard line. She was stoic, unlike her warm welcome seconds prior. “When was the last time you cried?” This, I didn’t know how to answer. I could’ve said less than an hour ago; I knew this person wouldn’t judge me. Yet, my mouth spoke its lie before I could react to it. So I said, “November,” which was only a few months back. At the moment, all I could think was how glad I was she didn’t ask me when was the last time I felt I loved myself. Because I don’t think I

ever knew how, and I was tired of people thinking they knew how to instruct me to. As if they could correct seventeen years of trauma and shame with a simple snap of their fingers and a fancy motivation board to go with. The woman nodded her head to me and spoke nothing in response. She retreated behind the curtain only slightly and appeared to be speaking to a someone behind it. Most likely about me. What I had said. A couple beats later, the woman reemerges and motions for me to go in. Nervousness caught in my chest, and hesitation racked at me. But then I figured that I knew what my greatest fear was. It had a name. And he wasn’t here. Meaning I was safe, or safer than I could be with him, and whatever was behind the curtain was something I could fight off. Or so I thought. I drew back the fabric and stepped in. The entire room was black, from wall-to floor-to ceiling. It looked like a black box theater, but more compact. There were tight chains draping down the walls at all corners and met in the middle of the floor. The lighting was dim, but constant. Sad, acoustic music filled the room but it was faint. Too faint. I realized that it wasn’t there to comfort. It was there to scare. At the center of the room, an animal head stared back at me. Except it’s eyes weren’t where they were supposed to be. They had none. They were scratched out and pitch-black, minus the tiny holes the person inside could see through. However, I couldn’t see in, which was intended. The head was of an animal I could not identify. It wasn’t your realistic attempt one might get with the typical horse head costume found in a Party City or Target. Still, it had the essence of a pasturing or grazing farm animal. This had some other purpose completely out of the realm of festivities. It’s tongue hung out of its mouth unceasingly and everything about the calm in the room was deceiving. If I had been anywhere else, not still surrounded by the sound of street cars, instinct would have told me their motives were sinister. Even though there was a person in the room, it was as if they breathed no life. In fact, I thought I might die if I went near it so I didn’t. They took me in for a while, gauging me. The music crackled out of an old, black radio at the center of the floor. The person dressed in all-black, except for the decrepit, white-colored animal head reached into a large, metal tin that was beside them, rummaged a bit, and silently throughout it all, pulled out a sealed, purple envelope and held

it out to me. I quickly snatched it so as to soon be done with this ordeal. I opened it with trembling fingers and pried the flap up, pulling the white card stock paper out. It took a several seconds to decipher what the handwriting said in gold lettering but this was what it read:

You

will

Know

Pile Of FILTHY WRECKAGE wish you’d

I’m a

never

touched.

“What does this mean?” I asked. I looked down at it again and at the mangled head in front of me. “Why the fuck did you give this to me!” I was shouting now. I didn’t know why I was suddenly enraged. I had plenty of reasons to act like a hell-raised fury sent out by Zeus to do his bidding, yet I remained silent up until the very end. But that instant, I either snapped, or realigned. Not sure it made much difference in the end. “Filthy” and “wreckage” clouded my mind and all I could see was red. Not crimson, not pastel or watercolor. Currant. But they didn’t say anything. Didn’t flinch. Didn’t move. Didn’t breathe. “Answer me!” I shouted, hot tears streaming down my cheeks. My breaths came out ragged and I hated how my chest rose and crashed violently. “Filthy pile of wreckage? Is that what I am? Why did you give this to me? Say something!” I was fighting with nothing, at nothing. This wasn’t meant to be conversation. It was a statement. The universe was speaking to me and it gave me an answer. That’s when I read that last line again and grew cold. “How did you know he touched me?” I asked. I knew I was getting no response but I rampaged on anyways. Somehow they knew. They knew. They didn’t just hand out any letter. No. This was personalized. This was meant for me. Like they knew I was coming and were waiting. “Fucking answer me!” I was begging now, hiccupping through sobs, “How did you know he touched me? How do you know what he did to me?” Nothing. “What am I supposed to do with this? Don’t you judge me. Don’t you dare judge me. Am I supposed to love myself now? Am I supposed to

love myself in this tarnished body? My body was never mine to begin with! It always belonged to him and I just wanted out of it! Out of this skin!” More nothing. “I am a filthy pile of wreckage. I need you to fix me. Please. Just fix me. Fix me. Make me better. Give me me. An untouched me. Please. Please please please help me.” A blank stare. I crumple to my knees. The music somehow renders louder in my ears. “What do you want to me to do?” I sounded like a child, or a whimpering dog. “I don’t-I don’t know what you want me to do? What am I supposed to do? I have nowhere to go.” That last part came out in a whisper. The person/thing opened the lid to the metal tin and pulled out another envelope. It was handed to me and I unsealed it despite my clattering heart. I extracted the final sheet that read:

Your

And

Claim

Retribution With Your Rebirth For What Was Yours.

Begins

Always

I was on my knees for a long time. Reading and re-reading what that final card wrote. After some elapsed amount of time, I stood up and nodded to the person in understanding. When I pulled out of the curtain, the sky was a purpleish blue. I began the long walk that I knew stood ahead of me. There was only, in the end, one right place to go. How could I love my body when it was the used rag of someone else? How does a survivor of abuse manifest love for themselves? How could I reclaim the thing that I had lost? And when would my body feel like mine instead of a shell? These were the questions I was prepared to ask as I camped outside of her office building door. When I woke next, the sun was at its zenith and a voice called out to me. “Savannah?” The voice asked. Tender, I thought. I peered up to see Dr. Evans in front of me. She looked surprised and concerned, but before she could get out anything else, I told her, “I think I’m ready to see you now.” A grin. It belonged to me.

Photo by BeutfullImages

APOLOGIES TO MYSELF By Chidinma Obinnakwelu

Apologies to myself Staring in the mirror I was disgusted by the girl looking back at me. With a teary eye, she asked, “Why do you hate me so much?” “You are so ugly,” I said. “Why do you think so?” she asked. “Because your hair is nappy. Eye color is boring. Nose is broad. Lips are huge and don’t get me started on that skin.” “Why do you think these features are ugly?” she asked. Angrily, I yelled, “BECAUSE IT IS!” “Take off those glasses and look at me again,” She said with a shaky voice I took off the glasses I didn’t even know I was wearing Looking down I see “society standards of beauty” written in bold Staring in the mirror I saw an African queen staring back at me I broke down and apologized for bashing her for so long She embraced me and said, “If you don’t love me, nobody else will.”

Photo by Melinda Sternbec

ROZ MAYS “THE DIVA”

Written By Hillary Tacuri

efore Roz Mays became “The Diva,” she worked at a non-profit, as a career coach for college students. Her job was to make sure “that they weren’t naked, twerking, cursing, drinking on the internet – but lo and behold that’s how I make a living!” She chuckles, “But I love it.” Roz “The Diva” Mays is a pole dancing and fitness instructor based in New York City and has been teaching classes for the past five and a half years. Before teaching became her full-time job, pole dancing was a hobby that slowly turned into a “serious hobby and side hustle.” When she got fired from her job in February 2014, she chose to throw herself into pole dancing and teaching fitness classes. “It sounds like it took a lot of courage for you to do that,” I said, in awe of her decision. “I mean yeah,” Roz half-heartily stated, before shifting into a serious voice, “but more than courage, you don’t have a choice. Courage is cute, but I honestly can’t say that I said ‘I’m just going to test this out and do it!’ – no, I did it because I got fired and didn’t know what else to do. I just had to work. Another option did not exist.” Yet, it was an option Roz is passionate and excited about: “I just really really love teaching. Pole is just straight fun. It is some of the hardest work you could do as an athlete and we train just as hard as any other sport that you’ve heard of… It’s work, it’s exhausting, and I would have it no other way. It’s not something I planned on, but I’m happy doing it.” However, Roz struggles with negative thoughts about her body. “I don’t like how I look, but I like what I can do, which is the saving grace. I like being strong. I like being a gym rat. I like

working out – that’s what keeps me going.” She admits that although her self-worth has improved in the past ten years, there are demons she’s working out. “I’m not confident in my body – I know people assume that, but I’m not. I know people [spin it into body positivity] but I don’t identify with either one of those.” When I asked her to describe body positivity in her own words, she gave me a thought-provoking response, “I like the concept, but I hate the words. The purpose is for people to feel like people. I think what started out –” Roz takes a moment to think, “I actually don’t even know the origins [of the words] to be quite honest. I don’t know who the first person was to say ‘body positive.’ I feel like it started to celebrate larger and plus sized bodies.” Although Roz finds the words a little annoying, she uses them to describe herself because “the concept of it, of not being an asshole about your body or someone else’s body – that I’m here for.” To create a positive environment for her students who might not go to the gym out of fear of being judged, Roz implements these two things during her classes; a playlist, and finding the positives. The music matters to Roz, and in her own words, needs to be “an extraordinary playlist, because I don’t give a damn of who you are, but what we’re not doing is working out to terrible music because then I don’t even want to be there.” In addition to having a playlist, Roz notes the importance of finding the positives. She stresses that, “People, women in particular, plussized women in general, are really good at tearing ourselves down because we’ve been doing it,

in some cases, our entire lives. You don’t need someone else to tell you, point out all that you’re doing wrong. You need somebody that knows about the things you’re doing correctly and why you’re a valuable member of whatever community or tribe that you’re a part of.” Essentially, Roz comes to each class as an enthusiastic coach, “finding value in [her students] in the moment,” through finding what motivates her students and playing up their strengths. This helps to encourage them to try and fail, and to keep coming back to class despite any perceived failures. These moments of value are what makes students return for the next class. Not everyone sees her in this light. According to Roz, some people on the Internet sees her as a poor role model, because she’s “too fat” to be working in fitness, she doesn’t pitch weight loss with her clients, and promoting obesity instead (which is false). “They think that I’m dangerous, that I obviously don’t know what I’m talking about. If I was a good trainer, then I’d be small, and I would be perfect. Because I’m not either of those two things, they doubt everything.” These criticisms don’t bother Roz, for she’s satisfied of the product she’s giving to her clients. “Quite frankly, I can pay my rent and I know ethically I’m delivering a good product. If I can’t do something, I don’t do it. I don’t lie to my clients about my abilities. As long as I know that I can provide a service that’s ethical and from an educated place, then I’m good.” Roz plans on traveling around to different cities like Boston and Providence and will embark on a trip to Europe in April later this year to teach pole dancing. Although she hopes to have Beyoncé or Michelle Obama as a client, she is focusing more on solidifying her income and career and doing what she loves – pole dancing.

Photo by Ray Tamarra

Check out Roz “The Diva” Mays on her social media and website: http://rozthediva.com/ https://www.facebook.com/RozTheDivaMays https://www.instagram.com/rozthediva/ h t t p s : / / w w w. y o u t u b e . c o m / c h a n n e l / UCIQvYxCDzVIU8sAaiUWHd9w https://twitter.com/RozTheDiva

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Are All Bodies Good in The Eyes of Academia? Written By Nyri Wells

Body Positivity is an interesting concept that is recently being discussed more and more. It’s a concept that cannot be discussed without unpacking racism and discrimination in our society. To be specific, body positivity can be defined as “a social movement rooted in the belief that all human beings should have a positive body image, and be accepting of their own bodies as well as the bodies of others”. Typically, we become aware of our body image as pre-teens, as advertisers specifically market to young people whose behaviors then become shaped by body images. But, what happens when advertisers are marketing notions about body image that are shaped by racism towards people of color? How often are we are told what type of hair is the more “appropriate’ hair type? How commonplace is it to see a wide array of body types in commercials or ads? The entire point of the body positive movement is to acknowledge all body types and aesthetics are equal of being appreciated and protected. One place where body positivity has always lacked, especially for Black women, is academia. The body positivity movement has generally been centered around women, because women are pressured into following societal beauty standards more often than men. Research shows that women with higher levels of body image tend to possess higher levels of confidence and self-efficacy. Our sense of body image can be shaped by social comparison, meaning the contrasts women see between themselves and other women can inform their self-esteem or body images. And this is where representation comes in. All bodies are worthy of acceptance! Slowly, institutions like the fashion

industry are becoming more inclusive, but what about those of us who donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t walk runways? There have been plenty of studies that demonstrated that there is a relationship between self-esteem and academic achievement. Little to no body positivity leads individuals to have negative overall body images and low self-esteem, which might impact academic achievement in women. The existence of correlations do not necessarily demonstrate causation, but there is value in exploring the relationships between the two. When I bring up the lack of representation in academia, I am referring to administrators and staff at scholastic institutions and the prevalence of white men promoted as the leaders of most academic fields. This lack of representation is shaped by both institutionalized racism and a lack of body positivity. Many institutions seek to higher people based off of their adherence to certain normalized aesthetic standards that often exclude disabled bodies and people of color who lack eurocentric features. Overall, our experience is shaped by our sense of selves and body image is a social construct that influences self-worth and self -esteem. In order to have a body positive academia, we have to campaign for better representation in schools, campaigns, and marketing. We need body positivity in academia because the body positive movement promotes environments where representation is abundant. As we continue to accept all bodies as equal we can look forward to encouraging the idea that despite race, class, ability or aesthetic, our existence is valid in any space. Anything is possible. Anything is attainable.

HOW TO SURVIVE THIS WORLD IN A BLACK BODY By Audacious IAm

Body is delicate Magical and whole Know that Black body is the truth Melanin donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t tell no lies Black body is a warrior Praiseworthy and just Remember that Black body is God And know that Black body is a river Sacred like scriptures seeping From lips of a southern soul And lastly To survive This woman In this Black body Must remember to Breathe Dream And Believe.

Photo by Damola Akintunde

Source: @JazzmyneJay on Twitter

Jazzmyne Jay Written By Jessica Innis

This is a STRING bikini. A string! A triangle! Jazzmyne details her experience behind the scenes of Buzzfeed As/Is “I Wore a Bikini To The Beach for the First Time” video. “I was nervous. To this day, I’m still nervous because you know that you’re not the ideal.” Originally from Peru, Illinois, a small town two hours from Chicago, Jazzmyne has grown to be an influencer pushing content for plus size women of color. Living in Peru, Illinois with a population of under nine thousand people, Jazzmyne’s biracial family was one of the only three people of color households. Due to the racial differences of her mother and father, their two families had often disagreed. Despite this, her parents had always told Jazzmyne and her brother that they were leaders, and that although they may look different than everyone else in their neighborhood, this did not make them any less beautiful. Even so, in adolescence, Jazzmyne still desired long, blonde hair and dealt with the societal pressures of looking like the ideal, or the people near her. She had her own wave of struggle through her teen years that she considers a formative experience in making her who she is today. At age 18, Jazzmyne left her small town to pursue college in Chicago. “I love bouncing [and] so many things make me happy and passionate,” Jazzmyne said. At first she pursued being a sign language interpreter but had realized that her school was not the right fit for that. Jazzmyne then moved onto studying criminal justice, but after reading case studies and analyzing how messed up the system is, she ended up majoring in visual arts and photography. Jazzmyne had a hard time in college because she had torn her ACL, MCL, and meniscus two volleyball games

before nationals. Volleyball was something she had done all her life and even coached as well. This was one of the hardest moments of her life. Through this, she learned that it was possible to support others from behind the scenes and off the courts. “I started stitching clothes in the third grade, but I signed it Jay Wear by Gia inspired by the character on Full House. I was creative as all can be.” Studying Merchandise Marketing with an interest in Trend Forecasting at the Fashion Institute, Jazzmyne had decided to move to Los Angeles. Later on, she had applied to be a Buzzfeed fellow with zero tech experience. She really wanted to display fashion that was inclusive of plus size bodies, femme queers, and women of color. And at the time, Buzzfeed had not displayed such type of content. Starting out as an intern for six months, she was taught how to shoot, edit, and produce. She then moved into being a fellow, in which she released a video every week for three months. Some of her videos include making athome leave-in conditioners for non-straight white hair or “Things Plus Size Girls Can’t Do.” Diversity lies at the center of her work so much that she teaches workshops at Buzzfeed. After the fellowship, Jazzmyne was hired full-time as one of two out of the eight pursuing staff positions. Jazzmyne had never imagined herself being in front of the camera, on full-display. She had only agreed to be casted in the bikini video because Daysha, someone who has always empowered and helped her, was producing it. “It was something that caught me off guard. The video came out, and I got 10,000 followers in two days on IG. It was not my plan. I got great feedback

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as well as negative. It took some time to get over the negativity. It stings when someone says something negative about me. The messages from men saying they showed their wives the pics to give their wives confidence to wear bikinis to the beach made me smile.” Utilizing her Instagram platform, Jazzmyne hustled for a year to become an ASOS Insider model. Their PR team had reached out and wanted to do a campaign with her after the bikini video. They then flew her out to London along with others from Europe. Curious about what an ASOS Insider was, Jazzmyne reached out. Since someone like her was not currently being represented, she saw it as a great opportunity. Endless phone calls, meetings, and PR events for over a year, Jazzmyne had finally been offered a position as an ASOS Insider model. As an Insider, she was able to be involved, design, and create fashion. The first items she chose were berets because they are timeless unlike fast fashion. Collaborating with Kidd Bell, the berets were designed at a coffee shop, in which the team went fabric shopping and worked with a seamstress to create six handmade designs. “I’m really proud of them and I love them. It’s cool to have something with my name on it. It’s an entry way to design more.” Voted most likely to start a fashion trend in high school, Jazzmyne said, “Sometimes I’m sure there are times I look busted. I have a motto that I don’t regret anything I wore. On IG, I don’t stress out. I post whatever I want whenever I want, even with branded deals. Don’t sell out and just be you!” Inspired by her friends, teens, community members, and brilliant people like Yara Shahidi, Jazzmyne continues to create even when she’s hard on herself and dealing with trolls. “Their lack of comfort of seeing me on IG continues my work,” Jazzmyne stated. “Seeing others challenging their fears and displaying true confidence is what makes me happy.” “This year, I’m excited to find myself again. I’ve grown this beautiful platform, started therapy, [and] started allowing myself to be emotional. [I’m] not being so hard on myself in this upcoming year. I want to design more, thottie street style for every size in between. This is going to be a growing year, hopefully foundation for 2020.” Follow Jazzmyne at IG: @jazzmynejay, @asos_ jazzmyne , Twitter: @jazzmynejay, and check her out on Buzzfeed As/Is

Source: @JazzmyneJay on IG

“Power of the P.U.S.S.Y” Written By Auralynn Rosario, Illustration By Noahamin

"A consequence of female self-love is that the woman grows convinced of social worth. Her love for her body will be unqualified, which is the basis of female identification. If a woman loves her own body, she doesn't grudge what other women do with theirs; if she loves femaleness, she champions its rights. It's true what they say about women: Women are insatiable. We are greedy. Our appetites do need to be controlled if things are to stay in place. If the world were ours too, if we believed we could get away with it, we would ask for more love, more sex, more money, more commitment to children, more food, more care. These sexual, emotional, and physical demands would begin to extend to social demands: payment for care of the elderly, parental leave, childcare, etc. The force of female desire would be so great that society would truly have to reckon with what women want, in bed and in the world." NAOMI WOLF, THE BEAUTY MYTH

I remember a conversation I had with a man while on a date that to this day I find myself having with other men. He insisted that women hold most of the power simply because we “have pussies.” His defense was a counter-argument in response to my politics concerning men, which argues that I, and other women, should be compensated for any time spent with men in nearly any capacity since in all actuality, men are

the real gatekeepers to Power & Wealth. I argued that his theory, like many other men who share his sentiment, was flawed. Firstly, while young boys learn to explore and manipulate their physical strength and dexterity, girls learn to present themselves as objects to be viewed through the many gendered-segregated clothing and activities that are assigned to us. The many pink and purple-

tasseled dresses and hair bows disallow us to participate in any game that generates too much exuberance. Instead, families encourage us to help with the household. Boys learn to use their bodies as tools to get them where and what they want through physical force, while girls are socialized to believe that our bodies exist for the use of others, whether as caretakers or wives and in many instances, both. Young girls are never socialized to think that we can or should use our bodies to get where or what we want. In fact, we are shamed for it. Secondly, the type of women the man with whom I was on a date with and other men were referring to are women who usually fall within very narrow beauty standards. These ideal beauty standards are inescapably promoted by the fashion industries, television, internet, and most recently, social media. Although aesthetic expectations widened a bit from the white petite, lithe blond to the long-haired-bottom-heavy Kardashian spectacle, current western culture and beauty ideals continue to provide inaccurate representations of reality. I argued that even though there are plenty of beautiful and confident women who do not meet these ridiculous beauty standards, his theory could potentially ostracize them, thus excluding them from groups of women who hold power simply because we “have pussies.” Thirdly, even when women do fit beauty standards or discover respective markets that cater to their atypical look and we learn to identify and leverage our erotic capital in a way that would support his theory, many of us continuously encounter men like him; men who feel women already have access to it all simply because we “have pussies.” This misinformation makes men further unwilling to share their resources; their fragile masculinities and egos interfere, and they fear being labeled “suckers” or “tricks.” This type of transactional relationship requires further labor from the woman’s part that extends beyond the labor we were raised to believe men are entitled to just because they are men. He had little choice but to agree with my reasoning, but still, refused to share his resources in return for the access he wanted to me in a way that made me feel it was worth my time and labor. Needless to say, I blocked him. Still, I find myself redundantly having this same conversation with men in the perpetual rut that is known as dating. In thinking of this repeated conversation, I began to think of my own body and the very

tumultuous relationship I developed with it. I have always had a “nice” shape, and for most of my life, the way people both positively and negatively reacted to my body defined the way I looked at myself and treated myself. The many genderedsegregated expectations that were projected unto me as a child continued throughout my adolescence and adulthood life, and constantly reinforced the notion that it was my responsibility to present myself respectfully and not attract any unwanted sexual attention. Body-shaming comes in many different forms, and for me, I was always over-sexualized and made to feel it was my fault. However, I realized that no matter how much I made a conscious effort to protect myself from people who wanted to violate my body, I was not always able to stop them. Over time, I rebelled against every expectation people had of me because I was a woman, and my body-positivity was born. As an act of resistance, I continued to wear whatever I wanted, do whatever I wanted with my body and sexuality, and share whatever kind of images that I wanted online. While many admired this, it still took me three decades to learn to leverage, and to an extent, commodify my own body. I decided that if anyone were to reap the benefits of my body, it would be me. Although I never publicly struggled with my body and sexuality, I went through phases in which I unwillingly allowed others to exploit me. My curvaceous body-type did attract many experiences in which I did not know to navigate, and it took many scars to get me to where I am. Now before anyone pulls out their tiny violin to play me a sad tune, I am in no way seeking empathy for the problems that stem from having the type of body that I have. I do realize that I benefit from a system of beauty standards and am afforded different privileges. But as I explained to my date in the paragraph mentioned above, what good is this system for anyone if you don’t understand its existence and how to leverage it? It took me thirty years to learn this game and use it to navigate and exploit the patriarchy as opposed to allowing it to exploit me. However, I am not always proud of how far I have come. Learning to leverage and navigate the patriarchy in this way has its negative consequences. For starters, I am reinforcing systems that should not exist. In “playing along,” I hold up the very systems that intends to oppress

me, but I have yet to find a better alternative. Additionally, my body is so closely intertwined to my identity that I am not sure I’d know who I am without it. I make sure to take care of myself, eat right, exercise, drink a lot of water, and do all the other things that will keep my health and body right. But honestly… a lot of this behavior comes from an obsession to keep my curves, thus livelihood. And although people always compliment my shape, I am never satisfied and am continually looking for ways to improve it, even if it means going under a knife. Again, I am not seeking sympathy; I recognize my privileges. But truthfully, these beauty expectations and systems are harmful to us all, and whether we are skinny, fat, or inbetween, society does not want any woman to feel like our bodies belong to us. And although I did manage to make some positive strides in navigating our existing world, I am reminded that all I did was swap old problems for new ones. Until we ALL learn to exploit the exploiters, systems in which women are shamed for having one body type or another will continue to pit us against each other. I envision a world where none of this matters. If all women were to have selflove, our confidence would allow us to demand more, and then women would truly hold Power because we genuinely deserve it. Not because we “have pussies.”

Photo by Clarke Sanders

An Interview with

Marsha Elle Written By Nybria Acklin

Nybria: For those just meeting you, can you tell them briefly who you are and what you do? Elle: My name is Marsha Elle. I am a SingerSongwriter, Model, Motivational Speaker, and Amputee. I am a model only by inspiration, […] not by profession. I have three albums out, and I love music. Nybria: When did you know that singing was your passion? Elle: Oh, I fell in love with music, and I mean performing, at the age of 5. I did a play and it was “you are my sunshine, my only sunshine,” and I didn’t get the lead role; I got a secondary role. I [was] sitting in the back like, one day I’ll have a lead role. I knew that from that day, performance was for me. I had no stage fright, I was ready at that age, and I’m glad I kind of got the opportunity to do it later in life. Nybria: When did you get the opportunity do singing again before you started your career? Elle: I would say about the age of 14, 15. I was only doing talent shows and I released my first single in 2010 when I was 16, and it was right after the earthquake in Haiti. I released a song called “Hallelujah,” and that was my first recorded mainstream record. Nybria: You have several identities as an artist. You are a Singer, Songwriter, and Model. You are an Amputee. You are based out of Miami, Florida. You play guitar. Why do you think it is important for you to include all of these identities when introducing yourself?

Elle: It’s important to showcase that and share that because it’s something that I cultivate and that I hold dear. I always encourage my fans and crowds when I go and speak to hone in on what they love and hold dear to that, because, life gets so overwhelming that we forget. Sometimes when I was going through some of my depression, it was that which I love, like music, that saved me. So, I always try to share these talents, the sorts of the things that I cultivate - not stuff that I’ve done but stuff that I do daily - and that I love to share with people. Nybria: As I’ve been able to learn a bit about you, I’ve learned that you have gone through a journey of learning to embrace who you are in your body. You talk about your experiences as a youth and being bullied. What is your testimony and why has sharing your story been important for you? Elle: Body positivity and sharing is important for me because there was a time - I didn’t start wearing shorts until I was 23 - I boxed myself in. I realized that I was my greatest prisoner, so I had to set myself free, and, in that, I received so much love and feedback and messages from people who were going through similar battles. My gait is different. People can’t see that in pictures, but when I walk, it’s an uneven gait because my condition is congenital. So, it’s really noticeable. [...] So, it is something that I share with my fellow Amputees and I share it will my fellow supporters. I had to free myself and stop hiding because then I couldn’t really share hope. I’d be a hypocrite to stand on a stage and think about all of these things and model if I were covering up and hiding the most vulnerable parts of me.

Source: Marsha Elle

That wouldn’t be fair to you because you come to see me in my most authentic state. That’s why it’s very important for me to share with the world. Nybria: I wanted to circle to your body positivity shoot. Do you think the photo shoot helped to propel you into the spotlight in any way? Elle : Oh Yea. I mean, my photo went viral and it was crazy because we took the photo; I was in Puerto Rico, and we were just enjoying the beautiful Island. [...] I just remember being in the office at this meeting and my family member reached out to me, “I’m so proud of you. Jada Pinkett Smith, she posted your photo. And, I was like what?! So, I log in and I’m like, what is going on? And people were following me, and I mean thousands of people. 20,000 followers within a week. It was the craziest thing and then all the comments. Then, you get those trolls that will say really weird and mean things. But, that does not compare to all the positive feedback. All the Amputees - if you go to their pages you’ll never know that they are Amputee - then they will inbox me like, “hey!” and then they will send a photo of their leg, “hey, this is the leg I have, how does yours work?” And they inbox me about personality, so it’s like not only am I humbled enough to share this and impact the world, but even the community of Amputees. They have all of these questions about, how does your ankle work? How did you get that skin type? It is so cool to see how much need there is out there for what I’m doing and I’m just humbled. [...] The art photography has opened up a whole new domain of relationships and connections and opportunities. Nybria: Do you think this positivity has flowed over to your music career? Elle: It has. I’ve been able to just perform at these concerts with my music and I’ve actually been working on a new project, and it’s coming out this summer. I am super excited for it because this is a special level of visuals that we’re going to incorporate for body positivity. I released “I Am Beautiful,” which is part of that, which was one of my first body positive songs. [...] So, that was the first song off of the project. I am excited to release it just for my fans. I hope that they can take selfies and play videos, and sing these words of affirmation. It’s really just a project about affirmation. I don’t want it to be about me, but I really want it to be about them. So, all

the messages that I received, I’ve accumulated, and through that, I take the bits and pieces and written songs about them. You are getting the first preview of what built the song and the project. But that’s what it’s all about. It’s about the fans and their feedback and I’m excited for this new project. Nybria: What are your thoughts on expanding our society’s representation of body positivity. Elle : I just saw a model - I was in fashion week last week - and she was modeling and she had a mastectomy. And she was modeling and that was something I had never seen before, but It was very motivating. I think it’s important. Representation matters. Not just for me; not just for the African American Amputee. It’s for every walk of life, because, we need someone to relate to. When we were younger we looked up to our parents. We need some type of example, and it’s just comforting, not to follow, but just to know that you’re not alone. We’re a community. So it is important that we do expand. I hope - and that’s why I’m always meeting with different influencers and other body positive models. Hey, let’s not make this a trend [...]. And it doesn’t necessarily have to be a physical difference - it might be from a walk of life. It might be just your culture. Just something that’s different that we may have not paid attention to, so that we can be more sensitive to the communities that are around us. Nybria: I was able to read a little bit about your experience attending summer camp for teenage Amputees. You mentioned that it was an important part of your life. I was wondering if you would be able to expand a bit on that experience attending summer camp. Elle : Yeah. [I attended] summer camp when I was 16. I [was] handed off to Salt Lake City for Amputee camp ,and it changed my whole life. That’s when I wrote “Unlimbted” because - and it’s in one of the most sincere songs I’d ever written. I wrote that in my car when I got back home. And it was because it was the first time I had met Amputees. I had never met anyone like me, that could relate to me, and there I just didn’t feel alone. I felt like, they’re making it through, so I’m going to make it through. I’m not the girl with the wooden leg - that’s what they used to call me at school - I’m more than that, and I have friends, and I actually made friends that were like me that I could relate to. And, I could speak

to them, “hey, how do you maintain your liners?” “How do you...?” It was such an open - because even your doctors and your physicians can’t really relate. They’re awesome and they’re great [...] but day to day living is only an experience that someone who actually has your condition can help. So, it was just a life changing experience. I go every year now, and I counsel students. I just met another great group of kids who are just so motivating; they inspire me. I used to think that I was inspiring, but they are the ones that inspire me and keep me going. That camp, it’s just so important that I give back. […] That’s what my goal is, is to create a safe haven for Amputees and those with disabilities who don’t have people to connect with. Nybria: Since you started to embrace yourself and your body what are some themes that you picked up on in regards to learning about selflove? Elle: I realize that it’s all perspective. I really do. You know, it’s all perception and how you look at things. Because, I’ve always battled with my weight. When you are an Amputee, if you gain 5 pounds you might not fit your leg the next morning. So it’s more of a, you are freaking out a little bit. You know, you can’t eat everything, you’re always watching what you eat. I gained like 15 pounds over the course of a year or what have you, but I feel like I’m in the best shape. I feel the best; I’m not stressing and it’s all because of perception and how I’ve learned to embrace my body. I still work out but I learned to embrace my curves. Before then I was definitely 20 pounds lighter, but I wasn’t happy. I was in a dark place because I didn’t feel like I had the confidence that I really needed to embrace the world that was ahead of me. So it’s kind of one of those things and it’s just an adjustment because when you are an adult you have to deal with your adult phase. But I think that the biggest thing for me has been the photos. Being able to not look at the scale. I look at my discipline now; it’s more or less not about what I’ve eaten but have I been disciplined? So, it is more or less - now I can stop looking at the outcome, but what was causing me to eat this way and to not work out? What was the reason behind it? Because I wasn’t being confident, I wasn’t motivated, I wasn’t trying my best. So now I stopped beating myself when I looked at the root of it and got therapy and got better.

Nybria: As a motivational speaker, does your journey influence what you speak about? Can you expand a little bit about what you talk about? Elle: I have to speak on what I’ve been through, because I feel like I’ll be hypocritical if I didn’t [sic] walk through the path and [didn’t] look back and say, hey, that’s probably not the best route, don’t do that. Some topics […] talk therapy, emotional therapy. A lot of the time we go to physical therapy but there were no resources for emotional therapy. It’s a traumatic thing to have an amputation and the pain that comes after. So, I do talk about therapy, I talk about social skills. I like to talk about body positivity, self-actualization. And that’s really important because a lot of the times our culture, our society tells us who we are to be. But I like to challenge my audience, who did you aspire to be? My mom told me I can be anything I want to be. But, of course, as you get older, people will say, “oh no, you should just go to school and be a doctor.” [...] And you get that everywhere. And people - because maybe the culture, background, how you look - kind of fit you into a little box and say, this is where you’ll probably fit because it’s where everyone else fits in. I try to really push self-actualization and self-image, and what did you as a child - in your wildest is unconfined truth - who did you want [to be]? I try to draw that back and then I bring that in, so that they can find that joy, that hope, that longing. It makes the journey so much more fulfilling when you are pursuing something that you’ve always wanted. And it’s really the journey more than the actual destination. It’s about my audience, it’s about them, about reaching their full potential, being positive, being balanced, and being disciplined. Nybria: Do you think as a society, we can get to a point where being physically challenged is normalized? Do you have an idea of how you would want that to look? Elle : I was just talking about Barbie, and finally, Barbie has come out with wheelchair Barbie dolls and Amputee Barbies. It’s a slow time coming but now’s the time, and I think we’re going to take off. There’re so many great people out there that are doing great things. […] My friend who in Los Angeles did a video, and he’s deaf but dances to the vibration that gives him the pulse of the beat. […] I’m like, I can’t wait till we get to a point where it’s no longer different. It’s not something to be shunned or to be in awe. I’ve educated myself, I’m not going to stare and gawk at them, but I’m going

Source: Marsha Elle to applaud. They are a part of our society. Not an oddity but just a person. Looking at it, I really wouldn’t change too much more in the social aspect because I still want them to be respectful and look at it like, “oh, they’re amazing,” because they really are. But I think more or less on the corporate level, work level. I am a big advocate with the ADA and I work with local legislatures. […] Providing opportunities for work is important. They need to be given an option. A lot of them want to [work] and they just need their reasonable accommodations. Yes, we have some ADA laws and its come very far - we appreciate it - but there needs to be more work opportunities for them. Not just cashier work, but corporate level work. Being someone who isn’t corporate America […] I have done okay. I have done pretty well, I am very humbled, but it is only so that I can open doors for others. […] They are educated, they are smart, they have done their part, and they need to be given a fair shot in society. Onto social aspects, people are more accepting now. We’re still getting little things here and there. But on the corporate level, we’re still fighting for women’s equality, but how much more for people with disabilities? It is still a long way to go, but I’m here for the fight and I’m ready for it. Nybria: What do you think your career is showing you? And what do you think it’s showing others? Elle: Be patient, be disciplined. [With] timing, it will come and when it comes it’ll blow up. Always be prepared; It’s going to happen, you just have to be prepared even when you feel like you are not being noticed and people are turning you down. I would go to auditions and there was no role yet for me and I would be discouraged. I had a good

friend. She’s an actress, and she’s body positive. She said, “when that role comes it’s going to be for you...” So, just be disciplined and be faithful and remember that dream that you had as a child; never let that go. Continue working and creating and cultivating your gifts.” Nybria: Speaking on the question of what, as a child, did you want to be? Could you expand on why you encourage people to think and reflect on that? How has thinking about your childhood dreams been beneficial in your life? Elle: Why I think it’s beneficial to look into that childhood dream, because, that is when you are most innocent - not tainted. You are not ashamed. One thing that I’ve gotten from a lot of my colleagues is the only regret they have ever had is not following their gut, their heart, their dream, their childhood dream. It would haunt me if I ever got away from music, art, acting, because that is all I’ve ever wanted. And it wasn’t until I got into college. I went to college; I started really young when I was 16, I was dual enrolled - I wrote a success paper. It was for the class they made you take that helps plan out your future. I wrote this paper and I told her, hey, I’m going to go to school, get a nursing degree or a premed degree, get a job and it is going to pay for my music career. She gave me a C minus. I wish I could find that professor and laugh because I did just that and more. She […] wrote on my paper. She was like, “your sequencing doesn’t make sense. How are you going to go to school and do this? It doesn’t make sense.” So in lieu of all that, I didn’t go to school for nursing; I got my bachelors in pre-med and I did get into school at Johns Hopkins, but other things came up. […] All that I

said I was going to do I accomplished that, but in a greater force because I pursued my dreams, and I do pretty well for myself. If I would have taken that paper to heart she could’ve crushed my dreams […] But, I sat there and I looked at that paper and I realized that people have literally been brainwashed to believe [...] how your life should be and how it should end. When every day, you can make a decision and that decision will spear. That trajectory is set by what you put in. Not by your degree and not by what society says, but what your mindset is. I always go back to the childhood dream. Write it down. If people don’t approve of it great, but if you believe in it, it will come to fruition regardless. Nybria: Do you have any words of advice, for those of us going through a journey of selfacceptance? Elle: I want to encourage and implore you to go to the mirror, look yourself in the face. Say it and write it down every day, I am beautiful, I have a purpose, I will do what I have set out to do. Every single day say that to yourself - because then you will retrain your mind to be that person - because, you are amazing. You have to be the first person to say that. You are beautiful. You are strong. You are powerful. Despite what she is thinking, despite who out there is pouring negative things in your mind, you have to be the first person. You will see how everyone will embrace that because you started it, you started a fire. I do it every day. I have days where I’m like, oh my goodness I don’t feel beautiful, I don’t feel in sync. […] But, I have to remind myself that if that light isn’t shining in me I can’t expect it to come from anyone else. I have to make sure I have a light in me to keep me going, and I might be that light that encourages someone else. It’s important that I start that fire in the morning with myself - get in the best mood I possibly can. Even when I do have bad days, I retreat to go to a positive, to go to my support system and they fire me back up. Your self-care is [important], so that you can continue to do positive things. Self-care journey, it could take months, it could take weeks, it could take a year, it could take years. Every single day it starts with you, it starts with what you decide to do, it starts with who you decide to be around, and it starts with your self-reflection.

Nybria: Do you have any words of advice for

people who don’t know a lot about body positivity, or the physically challenged community? Do you have any advice for people to learn more about how to support? Elle: One of the biggest ways to support is to stay positive, give positive words, give positive comments. Share within your small group, even if it’s the people you hang with because - it’s not just an Amputee or someone with a physical disability - there’s a lot of people that are insecure. In our community body positive is not just for people who are overweight or underweight. Words of affirmation and positivity is what our community needs. […] Continue to not share stigmas of disabilities and say, she can’t do this or can’t do that, but open up your eyes and see that they are human. They’re not defined by their disability, they are not defined by their physical limitations. They are human, they are free, they are ambitious, and they just want to share with the world a different way of looking at the perfect human. You know, we’re all beautiful and we’re all perfectly made and formed. Nybria: What is it like traveling and touring? Do you miss home at all? Elle: Oh, my goodness! I’ve been gone every weekend for the last month. I literally caught a red eye coming back from fashion week, because I just want to be home for a little bit. I am from South Florida so, you know, I love the water. Every month I’m out of the state, but I wouldn’t change it because this is all I have ever wanted. So, I get on that plane and I’m like, oh gosh - I have kind of a fear of heights - but I’m okay with it now. When you have a passion that is burning inside of you - I love when I get to sing, and I get to speak to my fans, and speak to the audiences. It is worth it, but it’s so different me gone every weekend and every week sometimes. It’s hard to manage sometimes but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Nybria: What are your social medias and how can folks get connected to you and what you do? Elle: Yes! Please follow me on all social media platforms - @marshaellemusic - that is for Instagram, Twitter, [and] Facebookmarshaellemusic.com - you can find me on there. You can message me; I don’t see all the messages but I do see all the comments on my website and on my Facebook. I love to interact, share your stories, share your ideas.

PISCES SEASON Written By Temar France

The first drag is for yourself. I want to talk about projection. This is the topic for Pisces Season. To accomplish this, I want anyone who reads this to think of Pisces Season as a spiritual conduit, a portal for the multitudes contouring the human experience of emotion. The spectrum of life and death itself. Pisces Season is the death before spring. The sweet death before the birth of Aries. I’ve been tired this Pisces Season. Tired of people. Tired of the many ”others” and their relationship to my blackness and the violence and terror of these encounters. Living life in the world with any relative consciousness is sometimes a terrible and violent experience. What I think is hard here is the accountability, I and others must take, regardless, to fight back the oppression with any semblance of integrity. I am learning that this means not ever leaving out the truth about that major part of a story where I, we, inevitably, f*ck up. Projection is easier to do than work. Pisces Season, as I understand and experience it, is a difficult lesson in coming face to face with the material and spiritual reality of our collective circumstances. The returns on our spiritual investments are so clear during this time. In particular, we are pressured to see people for who and what they are and make peace with it. What is the world? What are these rules of encounter? I personally do not completely know. No one really knows. This unknowing and still making and striving toward a wholesome idea of

peace is what shapes this Piscean mood. Through the murky vision of Neptune, the ruler planet of sleepy Pisces, this season teaches us a sad girl lesson in limits and boundaries. How to work with them and mourn them, fight and respect them. We learn a hard lesson that life is not a projection of what we like to see or feel. It’s endlessly messy. People are or become endless projects and less of a romantic experience. We learn through surrender to encounter the our popular ideas of romance and even the platonic relationship have little to do with actual reality. But reality is sometimes enough. Endless enough. A labyrinth of possibility. The false mirror of projection, a defensive mechanism marked by the assumption that our personal values are the assumed values of those around us, or should be, can be easy to weaponize at a time when things can feel affectively, practically and psychically overwhelming. Projecting is a terrible way to experience the world rather than leaning into the practice of surrendering to who people simply are, and what the world becomes when out of our control. This matters a great deal at this time because spiritual healing and growth is also one of the transcendant projects of Neptune. A master love project. We don’t thank Pisces enough for their Neptunian love ethic but this love can be an unbecoming of what you think you are. A recognizing that you have capacity to do harm and so on, that recognition is loving. Placing value in the act of giving someone care is loving.

Doing what must be done for yourself despite the projections of your peers is loving. I agree with Alain Badiou, ”One has to understand that love invents a different way of lasting in life.” Love is a project of endurance. It has been a year since I first wrote about astrology here. Since then so much, perhaps too much has happened. I have endured love and I wan’t to honor that. I am broken in this work, and I am tender and needing support. I am seeing the truth and feeling my strength. I am messy but not trifling. Knowing this without judgement is my strength. As I rise, give me good mourning Pisces.. Good grief. Love Me You

Temar France www.temarfrance.com

bloom Contributors Mar. 2019

Raegan Thomas

Raegan Thomas is a young African American woman from Dallas, Texas majoring in studio art at Smith College. Her chosen mediums are drawing and painting; with a current interest in ink and watercolor. Raegan’s focus is to use her art to portray black women as angelic and ethereal beings to offset the false, stereotypical, and demeaning labels that society imposes. Raegan is currently the Arts and Culture Co-Chair of the Black Students’ Alliance. She intends to use the knowledge and skillset gained from Smith and BSA to land her museums and galleries everywhere.

Justice Symone

Justice symone is a Virginia based photographer who serves, inspires and celebrates women of color. She shares her story and self exploration through photography and narrative writing. Her self published debut collection of poetry, the moon amongst stars, was released in July 2018. Her compelling imagery and passion for photography are inspired by life lessons, women empowerment, and connecting through visual storytelling. It is her hope to inspire you to create with confidence and walk beautifully in your full and authentic self.

Clarke Sanders

Clarke Sanders is a self-taught photographer from Minneapolis, Minnesota. She started taking photos in 2016 when a friend of her asked her to create a poster for an event, she wanted original images and found it a good excuse to invest in a camera and see what she could create. As a visual creative, Clarke crosses many mediums of photography, graphic design, and

marketing. She is the co-founder of a digital marketing agency for businesses of color called Hustle MKTG. Her work all stems from wanting to create resources for people of color, as well as show women of color how beautiful they are no matter their skin-tone, size, or belief in themselves, all women of color are beautiful and deserve to be shown that!

Nichole Rondon

Nichole Rondon was born and raised in the Bronx, New York. Graduated from Smith College majoring in Psychology and French Studies, Nichole sought out opportunities to explore minority issues on campus by writing for the school newspaper, The Sophian. Nichole did similarly during her overseas experiences in Kenya and France, where she promoted the issues of women and immigrants respectively. She is known as a traveler, an activist, a thinker, and an intersectional feminist. She is inspired by the world, its diverse people, and the sudden societal push and embrace of intersectionality. Nichole also writes for True Urban Culture.

Julissa Nunez

Julissa Nunez is a Gotham native, whose roots reside in Spanish Harlem. She is currently a sophomore in attendance at Smith College where she will soon declare her majors in Studio Art and English Language & Literature with a Creative Writing Emphasis. Julissa hopes to one day establish a writer’s house to serve her local community in El Barrio, New York to provide creative spaces for budding youth desiring to dip their toes in the bookish arena. She is a champion for the young blood ev-

erywhere wanting to feel their existence in everything they create and see change. She rides her cruiser, Wolfgang, in her spare time and practices Romanian in between mouthfuls of sweet, sesame dumplings she’s been gifted from friends. Julissa has never been in love but is absolutely smitten with the world.

Noahamin

Noahamin, pronounced no-hameen (like nah’meaannnnn) is a recent graduate from the communications design program at Syracuse University. Throughout her college years, she has had the opportunity to design and create visuals that represented the minority at her university. Helping produce the “Boys II Men” web series addressing mental health in black men, creative directing a fashion show that featured artist Tory Lanez, and holding multiple positions from illustrator to editor-in-chief of the first and only black general magazine on her school’s campus, these opportunities have allowed her to realize her passions. These passions are steeped into her need to create purposeful content. She is currently a junior art director and a freelance artist. Noahamin’s mission as a creative is to not only produce visual appealing content, but also conscious inclusive content for the underrepresented.

Chidinma Obinnakwelu

Born and raised in Anambra Nigeria a country in West Africa , Chidinma Obinnakwelu relocated to Elizabeth, New Jersey at the age of 15, where she attended an arts high school, however she felt arts was all about drawing and painting but because she could do neither she never considered herself an artist. With this mindset,

she did not discover her creative side until college. She started a blog talking to her fellow African immigrants to always be true to themselves after getting a “you are too African “ comment from a fellow African, she lost interest in the blog, but the photography aspect of it stuck with her. Spending resources and time buying equipment as well as learning to navigate her camera. She eventually succeeded in learning the art of photography and has not looked back since. Currently, she is learning the art of videography as well and has been a fashion and portraits photographer located in Toledo, Ohio for 3 years now. IG: @beutfullimages

Hillary Tacuri

Hillary Tacuri is a senior at Smith College who is majoring in English Language and Literature. Born and raised in Queens, New York, she is very passionate about reading and writing. She hopes to pursue a career where she is able to write and find the truth behind every story she chases or curious about. She enjoys reading, writing short stories, drawing, and editing her Spotify playlists in her free time.

Nyri Wells

Nyri Wells is a budding anthropologist straight out of New Jersey. She’s got her sights set on completing her degrees by 2019, and she can’t wait. Though she’s a full time student, she’s dedicated to using her appreciation for anthropology and environmental studies to better our public health outlook, as a country. When she is not in school she enjoys making time for activism...or watching Netflix. She views her

voice as her most powerful weapon, and hopes it only becomes stronger here at redflowers. tions. She received her undergraduate degrees in Anthropology and International Studies from Trinity College, (Hartford,CT). She is also a certified Be Body Positive facilitator. Kris is the author of the wholeness lifestyle blog LiveLaughBoss.com that focuses on work-life integration and whole-life living for young, high-aspiring professionals.

Audacious IAm

Poet, educator and activist, Audacious IAM was born and raised in Ruleville, Mississippi and now resides in Oakland, California. She holds her BA Degree from Rust College and MFA Degree from Mills College. Audacious is the founding member of the Spoken Word Collective, Pr3ssPlay Poets, and is the creator and chief-editor of the “Anthology, Blues Arrival: Stories of the Queer Black South & Migration.” Her art is exhibited through words on the page, performance and film in the attempt to transform, dissect and explore the intersection of blackness, queer identity, fragility, and being a woman in America and beyond. As a queer, Black female artist, she has given and hopes to continue to provide her community with a platform for dialogue, social change and transformation through artistic creation. www.audaciousiam.com

Damola Akintunde

Damola Akintunde is a Nigerian-American photographer and artist based in North Carolina. Her work reflects on the self

and how individuals choose to interact with the world around them. Her goal is to lend herself as a tool for others to align their self-perception with their physical presentation, turning them into art. She also utilizes self-portraiture as a form of reclamation, taken back certain narratives surrounding Black womanhood. As a recent graduate from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill with a B.A. in Psychology and minor in Medical Anthropology, Akintunde constantly incorporates her understanding of the human experience into her work through the medium of visual storytelling. You can find her on www.damolaakintunde.com, Instagram @damolaakintunde and Youtube (Damola Akintunde).

Auralynn Rosario

Aura is a writer, online personality/podcast host, and emerging filmmaker. By day she works on a variety of projects and moonlights as a stripper by night. Aura has an English Literature and Language Bachelors from Smith College, and enjoys creating content that centers race, gender, and sexuality. Aura can be found on IG @AmazingAura and her award-winning short documentary, “Being Jezebel”, can be found on YouTube. The podcast that she co-hosts, “Marginalia,” can be found on Soundcloud. You can visit her website: www.AuraTheExplorer.com

Nybria Acklin

Nybria is from both the Mid-West and East-Coast. A recent graduate of Smith College, she now lives in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania completing the Coro Fellowship

bloom Contributors Mar. 2019

in Public Affairs and soon starting her journey as an entrepreneur. She is hoping to work for an art/media startup company as a Venture for America fellow. Nybria hopes that during her first few years living and working on her own, she will grow both spiritually and personally. She wants to develop her fashion aesthetic, grow as an artist, and develop herself as an entrepreneur. Nybria does not know what her life-work will look like but in the meantime hopes to learn to make connections with like-minded people, have fun, and grow as a person. You can follow Nybria’s art and personal Instagram, @pink_blue_ ivys, and @nybria_ivy

Temar France

Temar France is a mystic digital artist from New York City and 2018 Smith College graduate. Her work in photography, video and the digital humanities explores the material culture of black women’s erotic labor in visual culture as well as black female subjectivity in performance, esoteric practices and botanic life. Temar’s archival project and documentary, Analog Erotic, 2018 is a curated visual essay through the history of black women’s erotic performance in print publications from the 1950’s to the present. Temar is the co-host of The Rap Scholars and the Marginalia Podcast where she archives her study of the sexual culture and economies in Hip Hop and the black women’s erotic labor central to its distribution.

Fonts Used:

‘Elley’, ‘Nilland-SmallCaps’ , ‘Coolvetica‘, ‘Summer Loving’ , ‘Summer Loving Sans‘, ‘Roboto’, ‘Roboto Condensed’, ‘ADAM.CG PRO’, ‘Glacial Indifference’, ‘Luna’, ‘Grand Hotel’, ‘Starlit Drive’.

BROWN SUGAR By Jessica Innis

Sweet like caramel, sometimes like chocolate Succulent like honey dripping in droplets Brown tones for skin tones Big lips and big nose Oh what beauty she beholds Like a whipped mousse of melanin She is soft and decadent.

bloom Editor-in-Chief Letter Mar. 2019

I’ve been told that all of my previous letters have been about how each issue has been harder than the last. The reason as to why they have all been like that is because it is TRUE! I want to stress that making an issue of Bloom Magazine is never any easy feat. It’s even harder because we are constantly improving and challenging the ways that we have worked previously. And by presenting a new challenge each time, there are new and more obstacles to fight against that we are sometimes unprepared for. This makes each issue more difficult than the last. For this issue, the style guide completely changed moving away from the guide format and leaning more towards editorial. This issue holds a special place in my heart because body positivity is something I have specifically struggled with for a long time. I have hard time accepting the body I live, and I previously focused so much on where my body was going and not enough on where my body is now. That was extremely toxic to my health, and it took a very long time for me to get out of that mindset and thought. With society and increasingly with social media, body acceptance is not something that comes easy for many. Hopefully, with this issue, you’ve gain some insight, knowledge, and courage. The next issue will be about black women and black identities doing amazing things and legacy work that needs to be noted in the books. When it comes to history, as we know, the abilities and accomplishments of black folks are often misrepresented or not included at all. We want to keep the legacy alive with the next issue, and we hope that you can hear these people’s

truths because that is what Bloom Magazine is all about. We are a community that promotes, empowers, and engages each other. We share the lost stories that are not told so that records exist. By far of utmost recognition is that Bloom Magazine will forever continue to solely focus on those most marginalized and often overlooked by society. This does not just go for Bloom Magazine and the redflowersCARE division but all of what redflowers hopes to uphold with its core values. I purposely shortened this letter because I was always rambling kind of like now to fill up this space, but I want to sign off by saying that please give us any feedback. Feel free to reach us and email bloom@redflowers.co We would love to learn from you, our audience, on how we may better provide you content that represents your interests and values. Also, if you’re interested in submitting any material or even interested in writing a featured article, fill out the form at bloom.redflowers.co or email bloom@redflowers.co If you’re interested in partnering with us, doing a press release, being featured, or advertising, feel free to email me directly at jessica@redflowers.co Thank you once again for staying in tune and reading another issue, or if this is your first time reading Bloom Magazine, I hope you’ll return to read the next quarterly released issue of our magazine. Much love, Jessica Innis Editor-in-Chief of Bloom Magazine

Photo by Jessica Innis

bloom Mar. 2019