A Message From Michael One of the mantras of the Generosity Generation is Give First, Give Thanks, Give Back. If you want to be referable, you have to be a giver - they just go hand-in-hand. In this issue you hear from some of the biggest givers I’ve ever known. The thing that you will realize after reading is it’s so much more than giving - there is a science behind it. Becoming a
giver is a mindshift, and so is being an appreciative receiver. One of my favorite quotes is from Maya Angelou, “I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.” If you want to truly experience joy, give, my friend. It will awaken a part of your soul that you didn’t even know you have and it will attract others who do the same.
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NOVEMBER 2018 FOUNDER AND CEO Michael Maher
VP Sheri Maher EDITOR IN CHIEF Mandy Thacker DIRECTOR OF DESIGN Joshua Nelson GRAPHIC DESIGNERS Ben Duff CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Ashley Alt O’Beria Seats James Walton THIS ISSUE Bob Burg Dave Debruyn Michael Maher John Ruhlin Toril Schoepfer ADVERTISING BookMichaelMaher.com 7L: The Seven Levels of Communication 30Mornings.com GenGenEvents.com ReferralPodcast.com GetAccelerate.com CertifiedReferralTrainers.com CallWithCoach.com
©2018 Referrals Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part, without written permission is prohibited. To purchase a subscription to the magazine, visit www.REFERCO.com To advertise or contribute to the magazine, contact Publishing@ REFERCO.com
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REFERRALS MAGAZINE | REFERCO.COM | ISSUE 04 | NOVEMBER 2018
WHAT’S INSIDE! Referrals Roundtable What was the last gift you gave?
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The Science of Strategic Gifting 8 featuring John Ruhlin
Want to Break the Internet? Here’s How!
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the influential zone
Mr. Go-Giver Himself Just Keeps on Giving!
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featuring Bob Burg
FREE Download: Chapters 1 & 2 of The Go-Giver Influencer
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be referable
The Seven Gifts of Generosity 22 by Michael J. Maher
Are You up for This 30-Day Challenge?
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Referable Reads 29 catalyst* connection
#GiveBack in a BIG way! 30
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Referrals ROUNDTABLE What was the last gift you gave? Ours was delivered yesterday to Sandra Nickel, friend and Realtor in Montgomery, Alabama who got a flowered Get Well bouquet with a smiley face coffee mug. - Michael
A personalized handmade wooden salad bowl with the bride and groom’s names and wedding date engraved on the bottom. - Carol Bright - Holyoke, MA
15 minutes ago a $100 gift card - PF Chang’s restaurant with a greeting card “Just because” to a sweet couple client of mine. - Tamer Tamer Khamis Gomaa - Lancaster, PA
Got a walker for a neighbor. Then she was able to get a scooter so I can give it again. - Kathy Moreland Presley - Tampa, FL
A hiking backpack for an agent i met for coffee recently who told me she loved hiking. - Pinky Shah - Monroe Township, NJ
A Pendleton blanket made in Oregon. Shelly Hummel - Bend, OR
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The Science of Strategic Gifting Featuring John Ruhlin By O’Beria Seats
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ave you ever given someone a gift that changed the very dynamics of your relationship? A meaningful and sincere gift that actually strengthened your connection with someone? What about a gift that took appreciation to a whole new level? A lot of people would agree that relationships are huge assets. And if this is the case, why not invest in them monetarily in order to get a return? Giving can take many forms, however, expert gifting strategist John Ruhlin focuses on giving tangibly—in the form of gifts. Merriam Webster Dictionary defines the word gift as the act or power of giving. Ruhlin says, “We crave to be known as a valuable human being. When you give someone a gift you’re saying ‘I value you as a human being, and I value the relationship.’” Ruhlin knows firsthand the powerful impact gifts have on professional relationships. He shows Fortune 500 companies and pro sports teams how strategic gifting can help foster their relationships with top clients, prospects and employees. So how did Ruhlin become one of the most requested gift-giving advisors in the nation? Strangely enough, by selling a simple cutting instrument, with a sharpedged, metal blade fitted with a handle. After deliberately deciding not to go to medical school, he takes on an internship at Cutco, the largest manufacturer of kitchen knives and other cutlery tools and utensils. Ruhlin didn’t consider himself to be much of a salesman. Initially, he was often outperformed by other sales reps who worked for Cutco. However, Ruhlin’s luck
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would soon change after encountering his girlfriend’s father, Paul. Paul was an attorney who had big-time clients, but more importantly he had a passion for giving. Ruhlin asked Paul to sell knives to these clients, hoping to make some much-needed sales. Thing is, it wasn’t necessarily what Paul did for Ruhlin, but it’s what he said to Ruhlin that made all the difference. “If you take care of the family first, then the rest will follow,” Paul said. Ruhlin took this idea and ran with it . . . well he more like bolted. Ruhlin’s first sale was a PO for $1,000. And the rest is literally history. He went on to become the best seller for Cutco out of 1.5 million other reps and distributors. Applying Paul’s principle along with hard work and determination contributed to Ruhlin’s success. His humble beginnings
helped develop in him character and a strong work ethic. Ruhlin, one of six kids, grew up in a household where hand-medowns were most likely considered a privilege. Most people learn the value of hard work as an adult, Ruhlin learned as a young boy. Case in point: Growing up on a Midwestern farm, Ruhlin was responsible for milking the goats, hoeing the corn, and hauling in the wood to keep the family warm during those chilly winters in Ohio. The famous Asian farmer and philosopher Masanobu Fukuoka once said, “The ultimate goal of farming is not the growing of crops, but the cultivation and perfection of human beings.” Hence Ruhlin’s rearing on a farm proved this perception to ring true. As in most cases, true success does not happen without a cost. And Ruhlin’s came
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with a pretty hefty price tag. Life events seemed to have come on him like a ripple effect. His support system by far was not the strongest. The people in his world thought he had lost his mind when he gave up his plans on becoming a doctor to sell knives for Cutco. “It’s not the normal thing to do,” they would tell him. After venturing out on his own, he almost lost a business and went bankrupt; he discovered his business partner was stealing from him; he went through a dreadful and tedious IRS audit. And if this wasn’t enough, he had to witness the deaths of several loved-ones; and even experienced a close encounter with death himself, when trying to propose to his wife. But thankfully he managed to stay the course and not throw in the towel. His resilience through life’s struggles prior to his breakthrough certainly paid off. Ruhlin’s overwhelming success at Cutco definitely took notice. He was invited to speak at tech giant companies like Google, admonishing sales and marketing teams to take a creative approach in building relationships through unique gifting strategies. He went on to launch the Ruhlin Group in 2000, making his proven gifting strategy accessible to many CEO’s and other professionals. To this day, Ruhlin and his team help companies send
world-class gifts that cut through the noise, increase referrals and strengthen retention. Ruhlin may have opted out of saving lives within the medical field, but he is certainly helping build profitable relationships through strategic gifting. He explains how the gift-giving process works: “Most people start with the gift, but we do that last. We walk clients through the Giftology system, starting with a list of their most important relationships. We ask if their [prospects] have an assistant, or even pets. Then we ask what is the value of those relationships, and what are they willing to reinvest in that relationship to maintain it.” Ruhlin says having a relationship action plan can help clients identify their most important relationships. These relationships can include employees, family members, suppliers, mentors, or assistants. This is the relationship principle that stemmed from “attorney Paul,” and served as a catalyst for this action plan. “Out of 1,000 clients, who are your top 100 clients,” said Ruhlin. “The goal is that you should spend all your resources on a smaller group of people. And out of these people, decide who you would like to build a relationship with or have as a client.” Ruhlin’s entire gifting strategy is found in his book, Giftology. He claims there’s a real science concerning giving. Here are five gifting ideas and techniques outlined in Ruhlin’s playbook:
THE ULTIMATE GOAL OF FARMING IS NOT THE GROWING OF CROPS, BUT THE CULTIVATION AND PERFECTION OF HUMAN BEINGS.
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PERSONALIZATION—Ruhlin says personalizing a gift makes the receiver feel like the gift was specifically for them. “Something as simple as indicating their name, or family’s name on a gift, can actually be a game changer,” he said.
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INNER CIRCLE—Know your prospect’s inner circle. “Eighty percent of gifting is targeting at the inner circle and not the decisionmaker,” Ruhlin said. The inner circle can be the CEO’s receptionist, the person who does the legwork when it comes to planning, scheduling, setting appointments and other administrative duties.
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TIMING OF THE GIFT—The timing of the gift is just as important as the gift itself. He said, “The worse time to send a gift is when it’s expected, like around the holidays. The surprise element of giving a gift—when it’s unexpected—is when it means the most. You give gifts ‘just because’, and not for the sake of returning a favor.” WHAT’S THE MOST YOU CAN DO—Think about the most you can do, and not the least you can get away with. “Go big with your top clients vs. giving cheaper gifts to the masses,” said Ruhlin. GIVE WANTED GIFTS—“Give them
something they would really want, not something we would want. We can’t assume they like the things we like. This is considered self-serving. The genuine giver has actually thought about you and what would give you pleasure,” he said. If you haven’t gotten your copy of Giftology, you can purchase it at http://giftologybook.com/.
O’BERIA SEATS is a freelance writer, copywriter, and content creator who develops written content for entrepreneurs and businesses. For more info: www.OberiaSeats.com.
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referral strategies
Want to Break the Internet? Here’s How!
By James Walton
army of volunteers went to work, while 250 passengers were headed to Calgary. Some 175 WestJet volunteers took to the streets by car and by any means necessary to do their elvish duty. They were to find and purchase gifts for all 250 passengers! With focus and precision, they rushed through the snow-covered streets, and entered store after store to purchase gifts. Crossing each gift off the list, from a Thomas the Tank Engine to big screen televisions, the elves made good on all of the passengers’ requests. This was no easy undertaking, but it would all be worth it when those holiday travelers made their way to baggage claim.
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hat difference can a corporation make with a little holiday giving? Not only did the people of WestJet ask this question in 2013 but they also looked to make it a gifting experience that their customers would never forget. Planning 250 Christmas miracles would take a lot of help but it was something WestJet wanted to do. And they were determined to do it big and get it right! The first step was to recruit the world’s greatest gift giver. You guessed it, Santa Claus. A spokesperson for WestJet talks about brainstorming on the perfect business to customer giving. “In early August 2013, we sat down with our friends at studio m and started brainstorming what ‘giving’ looked like at its best. We wanted to do something big, exciting and fresh.”
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A Very Jolly Check In While most people hate the trip to the airport because of intrusive security or just the anxiety of all that can go wrong, WestJet had something very different waiting for their guests. They were greeted by Santa Claus on a fully interactive screen, where they could communicate with the jolly man in red. He asked the passengers what they wanted for Christmas. This question was for children and parents alike. Before heading through security, they told Santa about their wish list. Then they were whisked off to wait for their flight. They could not imagine what they would find once they reached their destination in Calgary.
The Elves Mad Holiday Dash After requests were reviewed, an
A True Christmas Miracle of Giving Maybe the longest wait of any flight is the moment before the checked bags start rolling out onto the conveyor. You are likely looking forward to getting to a fun destination, a meeting or to finally arrive back home. Even as the bags start their procession, it always seems like yours is the last on the belt. A giant nutcracker and The Gingerbread Man awaited the 250 passengers at baggage claim, and even a strange artificial snow began to fall. Then a green and white gift with a name tag made its way out onto the conveyor. This was a surprise, but as more gifts of various sizes, all with name tags, began coming through baggage claim, it was clear that Santa had made good on their requests. Before long the entire conveyor
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was filled with Christmas gifts for the passengers. Not just any gift, either, but the exact thing they had asked Santa for before boarding their flight! The people were so confused, but began grabbing the gifts that were tagged to them. As the wrapping paper flew, many thought this holiday gift from WestJet could not get any better. That is, until the King of Christmas himself showed up. Santa Claus, decked out in blue and white, appeared next. He greeted the passengers, and some even cried as they opened their gifts. They were overwhelmed by the magic of this incredible moment.
The Science of Giving a Christmas Miracle The benefits of putting together an incredible Christmas gift miracle like WestJet did are massive. Obviously, from a PR and business standpoint, this type of gift-giving can be very effective. Still, what about the deeper benefits of gift-giving? What about those benefits that far outweigh profit and loss? Science is proving that gift-giving has a profound affect on the giver.
The Science of Generosity Initiative surveyed 2000 individuals from various backgrounds. They found some pretty impressive benefits that come to the giving party… findings include lower depression rates among Americans who donate more than 10 percent of their incomes (41 percent say they rarely or never experience depression versus 32 percent for everyone else.) And giving away money isn’t the only way to reap the psychological rewards of generosity: Americans who are very giving in relationships—being emotionally available and hospitable—are much more likely to be in excellent health (48 percent) than those who are not (31 percent). https://newrepublic.com/ article/119477/science-generositywhy-giving-makes-you-happy
The Viral Gifting Conclusion WestJet’s incredible gifting moment took the help of 175 WestJet volunteers, three airports and a little help from Santa Claus himself. Their YouTube video, featuring the Christmas miracle has over 48 million
views, and you can’t help but smile when you watch the patrons of the airline open their gifts. It’s a beautiful reminder that things like gift-giving exist as a means of finding satisfaction in the world. There is much more to this life than buying and selling. What seems to be most surprising is just how simple it is to give a gift and the profound effects it can have. A (I would remove the word “effective” here) gift can change a person’s outlook, decisive process or just put a smile on their face for the rest of the day. WestJet has proven that a well-thought out gift has the ability to change the attitude of an entire nation! When you watch their Christmas miracle unwrap itself on camera, its nearly impossible not to feel the greatness and hope of humankind.
James is a published author in several magazines and self-published author of a cookbook and two novels. For more information: www.IAmLibertyShow.com
EDITOR’S NOTE: So what did WestJet miss? If we could add one element to this already amazing movement, it would be a charity. Michael J. Maher, Author of (7L) and highly sought-after Business Coach, always recommends adding a charity to your events. Asking everyone to bring a charitable donation doesn’t cost you a penny, and can make a huge impact! We would have loved to see WestJet donate an equal item to a person in need for each gift that was given. Kudos to them for taking giving to the next level!
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MR. GO-GIVER HIMSELF JUST KEEPS ON GIVING! FEATURING BOB BURG By Ashley Alt
ob Burg could easily be one of the most influential and intelligent individuals on any and every business topic vital to today’s business person, may those be in sales, marketing, publishing or other unrelated fields. Challenging the
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conventional wisdom about success, Bob knows the secret to financial, personal and professional success to be, simply and honestly, giving. How does this man’s wisdom apply to so many varying industries and types of people? Because they all
demand the same things, beginning with how to develop smart and effective interactions with people. Listening to how in-tune and excited the successful leader/author/ influencer/speaker is about giving - in the purest sense of the word - was
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groundbreakingly inspiring, to say the least. Bob speaks all over the world on topics related to The Go-Giver series, as well as what he calls “genuine influence.” His total book sales number well over one million copies, but The Go-Giver Influencer book itself has sold over 800,000 copies, which Michael refers to as “his best book yet.” The well-known author of The GoGiver series, including The Go-Giver, The Go-Giver Leader, and The Art of Persuasion, took a deep, deep dive into his most recent book with Chris Angel and Michael Maher in a series of podcast episodes, The Go-Giver Influencer, which is impacting millions of people’s lives, businesses and outlooks on life. Named a “paradigm shift” for a lot of people, Michael calls The Go-Giver Influencer “The Go-Giver on steroids.” The intel wasn’t just from his book, though. Bob provided the cleverness and keenness gathered from his decades of sales experience, which has undoubtedly provided him with the foresight all entrepreneurs and career go-getters are desperate to obtain. His books shine a bright light on the not-so-in-your-face fact that all parties can greatly benefit from business interactions and sales transactions alike. This concept of giving results in both immediate and long-term success, where achieving what you want by focusing on the other person’s interest isn’t just possible; it’s guaranteed.
The Go-Giver Way The Go-Giver Influencer, Bob speaks about his book, is all about shifting your focus from getting to giving, constantly and consistently providing value to others. “And understanding that not only is that a pleasant way of conducting
BOB BURG
business, it’s actually the most financially profitable way as well,” he stated. Speaking on behalf of real estate agents - and really anyone selling anything - Michael commented that coming from a place of giving, rather than a place of manipulation or hurrying to meet a sales quota, “is amazing in what it does for you,”
stating, “It allows you to relax because you’re not interested in sales or being the entertainment. It’s almost like the pressure’s on the other person to tell you how you can help them instead of you trying to figure it out on your own. It’s coming from a place of knowing rather than wondering.” Reading a book like The Go-Giver Influencer encourages people to keep
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doing what they’re doing. Creating value, be it for yourself or your business, goes hand in hand with giving, which was a big part of the conversation. As Bob recapped the five laws in The Go-Giver Influencer - the law of value, the law of compensation, the law of influence, the law of authenticity and the receptivity law - discussing what they are, why they are important, and how readers can apply them to their businesses, he spent a lot of time emphasizing the importance of creating value, transcending into the marriage of giving and influence.
Everything Is About Creating Value The law of value, Bob explains, says your true worth - in a business
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sense - is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment. In other words, what is it about this thing, this product, service or idea, that brings so much worth to someone that they will glady and willingly exchange their money for it and be ecstatic that they did? Bob simplified the law of value by stating: “It taps into a very simple, really the ultimate rule of a free market capitalism, that in any exchange, there should be two people who profit - the buyer profits and the seller profits because each of them is much better off afterwards than they were beforehand.” Delving into the differences between the intrinsic and extrinsic value that make up the law of value, Bob clarifies that after a customer has realized the intrinsic value of a
product or service (freeing up their time, saving them money in the long run, making their lives easier), they then look for extrinsic (additional) value, which Bob confirms is you, the salesperson or the entrepreneur, who must be that extrinsic value through effective communication. Bob tells us there are five elements of value: excellence, consistency, attention, empathy and appreciation. Combined and learned effectively, these five elements are the pillar of making the relationship between the seller and the customer smooth, enjoyable, and successful. While all of this is well and good, Chris begs the question to Bob when teaching a values-based approach to conducting business: “Does this approach to adding value make money?” With our modern-day consumer
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who is expectant on VIP treatment and stellar customer service everywhere they go, it’s certainly a fair question. Bob answered Chris respectfully and thoughtfully: “Money is an echo of value.” When thinking about a business idea or sales concept, we have to first ask ourselves, “Does it serve?” Only then can we ask, “Does it make money?” “The golden rule of sales,” Bob continued, “is that nobody is going to buy from you because you have a quota to meet or even if you are a nice person. They are buying from you because they believe they will be better off by doing so than not by doing so.” So, to answer Chris’s question, Bob clarifies the “Does it make money” question is an excellent one - it’s just not an excellent first question. In fact, it’s a bad first question. The first question needs to be, “Does my product or business serve other people’s needs or wants? Will it bring value to others in a way that they will recognize value? “If your first question is ‘Will it make [me] money?’ that means you’re thinking about it solely on how it benefits you, and not who you are selling to or trying to help,” Bob said. The opposite of the go-giver mindset.
Does my business serve other people’s needs?
Marrying Giving and Influence Continuing their conversation on the value of giving, the topic shifted to industry influencers. More specifically, a genuine influencer and what makes them separate themselves from the mainstream, discussing tangible ways to become a genuine influencer. “The go-giver and the influencer just go together,” Michael stated. “They’re a natural fit.” First, Bob wanted to define the word, “influence,” in which he says,
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5 Secrets of Genuine Influence
Master your emotions
Step into the other person’s shoes
“Influence is one of those words that can be thrown around a lot that it can lose its meaning.” On a basic level, influence can be defined as the ability to move a person to a desired action, usually with a specific goal in mind. “The essence of influence is pull as opposed to push,” Bob said. “Great influencers don’t push. Genuine influencers attract people first to themselves, and then to their idea.” How is that done? A genuine influencer thinks about how things align with other people’s values and goals instead of themselves. They ask themselves those questions thoughtfully, which results in earning someone’s loyalty and commitment. That said, there are five secrets of genuine influence explained in The Go-Giver Influencer book, an interesting mainstay that Bob welcomed to speak up on. The five secrets are as follows:
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Set the proper frame
Communicate with tact and empathy
Master your emotions How do we master our emotions? “Be the calm in the storm. Don’t be the storm in the calm,” Michael commented on the first secret. If we allow ourselves to let other people push our emotional hot buttons, we cause ourselves to become annoyed, frustrated or angry, which causes us to react in a way that is the opposite outcome of what we want. Bob followed up stating the differences between emotion and logic, voicing the verifiable truth that humans are emotional beings before they are logical, no matter how much we like to think we are logical first. “We make major decisions based on emotion, and back up those decisions based on logic,” Bob said. “Mastering our emotions is about evaluating the situation before reacting.”
To let go of having to be right
Step into the other person’s shoes “It’s not so easy when you realize most of us have different sized feet,” Bob prefaced the second secret with. We can do this by asking questions and listening, but we have to listen not just with our ears, but also with our eyes and posture. “You must put your entire being into listening to this person,” Bob emphasized. “What will come of it? Two things: First, you will understand what this person needs, wants or desires. Second, this other person will feel listened to, heard and understood.” “It’s not manipulation,” Michael chimed in on the concept. “As a writer, I love the ‘listen with the back of your neck’ line, because that means you’re leaning in to try and understand what the other person is saying.”
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Set the proper frame “When you set the proper frame, or reset an already negatively set frame, you’re really 90 percent there to the results you want,” Bob said about “setting a proper frame.” He reinstates that “a frame is the foundation from which everything else evolves.” You must set a positive, productive frame for whenever you’re going to meet someone or engage with them to be in a state of giving and generosity. If someone has a negative set frame (they’re defensive or they tell you “I’m not an easy sale”), Bob declares we cannot accept that negative frame, and therefore have to change, or reset it.
Communicate with tact and empathy
to keep this powerful reminder top of mind: “We might not always understand what someone is feeling, but we understand they are feeling something, and this something is causing distress to you, and we are going to find a way to help.” Resonating with Bob’s compelling dialect, Michael relates this way of thinking to REFERCO, making the connection that realtors, inspectors, lenders, etc., “should all have to move every three years so that they have empathy” for prospective buyers and sellers. “They’re often advising something based on someone else’s situation,” Michael commented. “Whereas if they truly did buy or sell every three years, they would speak a whole lot softer and a lot more empathetically.”
GREAT INFLUENCERS DON’T PUSH. GENUINE INFLUENCERS ATTRACT PEOPLE FIRST TO THEMSELVES, AND THEN TO THEIR IDEA
Referring to “tact” as the “language of strength,” Bob poses the questions: “Is what I’m about to say going to serve or harm? Is it going to help, heal or destroy?” Tact is a way of communicating an idea to someone that they may not ordinary like or agree with, but doing it in such a way that they are open to you, instead of resistant to you or what you are telling them. Bob reminds us that when we are in those uncomfortable or tough situations where we aren’t meeting eye to eye with someone,
To let go of having to be right
The fifth and final secret of genuine influence is to let go of having to be right. “You have to give up your attachment to having to be right,” Bob spoke of this secret. We learned that doing this doesn’t make you less influential - it actually makes you significantly more influential, and for two reasons: When you let go of having to be right, you allow yourself to go into learner’s mode, putting yourself in a state of openness to what someone else has to say. Second, because you are
showing you don’t have an ego and that you admit to making mistakes or saying the wrong thing, the person on the other side “feels great about you.” “They like you more, they trust you more and their defensiveness goes down,” Bob said. “So much of life and energy for a lot of people is spent on being right and looking good,” Michael added. “If we just give those up - just put those to the side and be kind to people and love, it’s amazing how often you are right and you look good from doing that. We can be influential without keeping our thumb on people.”
Beautiful People With Beautiful Businesses Providing wisdom on embracing the heart of a go-giver, Bob admits he had a lot of “untapped potential” when he was younger, telling a story of great advice he received from an older man 40 years ago: “Don’t have making money as your target,” Bob disclosed. “Your target is serving others. When you hit your target, you’ll get a reward that will come in the form of money. But never forget, the money is simply the reward for hitting the target.” The captivating speaker and influencer advised that, “If we can go through our day, go through every appointment and every conversation looking for ways to serve others instead of ourselves, then we’re on the right track.” Take it from the go-giving pro: If you want the most successful and sustainable business, or simply a happy and fulfilling life, making money cannot be your primary focus.
ASHLEY ALT is a professional writer specializing in topics of career, style, health and wellness. For more info: www.AshleyAlt.com.
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or go to ReferralsMagazine.com for your FREE download
ENJOY CHAPTERS 1 & 2 FOR FREE! 20 REFERRALS
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The Seven Gifts of By Michael J. Maher
GIVE. MASSIVE. VALUE. FIRST.
Many of you know that the secret to getting referrals (getting on the Referral Cycle instead of the Chase Cycle) is to practice proactive generosity (not-so-random acts of kindness and generosity). The challenge is that this is a skill that is not taught. Reactive giving when others have catastrophes, major problems, or injuries/illnesses is common practice and a great societal occurrence. When catastrophe strikes, we rise to the challenge. But why don’t we practice PROACTIVE Generosity as a habit?
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f Generosity Well, first of all, we have our own challenges! We have enough challenges so why would we spend time helping others conquer their challenges? We have our own goals so why would we spend time, effort, energy, and/or money on others’ goals? The way to conquer your challenges are to help others conquer their challenges. The way to achieve your goal is to help others achieve their goals. When you help others, especially the influential, powerful, and successful, achieve their goals and conquer their challenges, they will reciprocate. w So first, we need to be confident that we can take a few moments helping others because it WILL come back. Secondly, we need to understand that WE HAVE A TON TO OFFER OTHERS! “But how can I help that ultrasuccessful business owner?” “Help a millionaire/billionaire? How? What? What can I do for them?” “Networking partners... I don’t know how to help them. What can I do for them?” “I just don’t know what I have to offer.” “What value do I bring to this relationship?” The first four questions I get asked all the time. The last question is what they really meant (the question behind the question). Here’s the answer: You have a ton to offer others in value. Here are the 7 Ways to Give. Massive. Value. First! The 7 T’s of Generosity.
THE WAY TO CONQUER YOUR CHALLENGES ARE TO HELP OTHERS CONQUER THEIR CHALLENGES.
someone whose name popped into your head and then you DIDN’T call and at that time you were thinking of them something incredible happened to them? Action: Take the time to think about your Ambassadors and Champions. Let them know on Facebook or by calling that you were just thinking about them. My number one “script” for database calls is “I was just thinking about you...” TALK: Speak highly of others... but only if you want them to speak highly of you. As you know, “It is Easy to champion a Champion.” Speaking highly of others gives others the confidence to speak highly of you. (If they champion you, they know you will most likely champion them... because they’ve seen you do it!). Action: Who can you speak highly of today? Post a compliment on Facebook. Instead of introducing yourself at your next networking meeting, compliment one of the other professionals in your group to the group. See what happens!
THOUGHT: Don’t underestimate this one. In our lifetime, it would not surprise me that we find that thoughts have a mass and velocity, wave and particle components. At one time, light was light. Then, scientists discovered that light not only followed wave principles but also had mass - the photon was discovered. It wouldn’t surprise me if a “cogiton” is discovered. How many times have you been thinking of someone - and they call? Or something you feared ended up manifesting itself - exactly as you had feared? Or thinking you SHOULD call
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TALENT: You can give your Talent - and sometimes this is what you get paid for. You are a Realtor and you are a master at marketing, handling the process of the transaction, and negotiating. You get paid for that talent. Others can gain value by hiring you to use your talent. You also have talents others could use from which you don’t necessarily profit. For instance, you may be great at Facebook, accounting, email, piano, guitar, IT work, or otherwise. Your talents are great ways to help others. TREASURE: You can give your money. It’s as simple as that. You can invest financially in others - by hiring their talents or supporting a cause they are promoting. You can invest in a gift, a book, education, or entertainment for them. Please note that Treasure is just one of the 7 T’s and it is one I use less often than most. Action: What is a book you could buy for a colleague, Ambassador, or Champion? TEAM: I use this most often. Your team is your Global Referral Community. This is your local and international network of professionals. Be a Connector. Don’t take responsibility for what happens after the connection - that’s on them. Connect professionals. This is a skill as well. As you start connecting others, you will start to get a feel for who to connect, who not to connect, and when to connect professionals. So much to offer in this - and what is great is that the bigger and more powerful your Community gets, the MORE YOU HAVE TO OFFER... and it doesn’t cost you a dime. Action: Connect two professionals today. The photographer with the videographer. The Realtor with the lender. The divorce attorney with the business attorney. The private banker with an
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time intensive but they are also relationship boosting. Want to get into momentum with a potential client or networking partner? No better way than a One-on-One. First, respect your time. Second, respect others’ time. Third, use your time to give massive value first. Action: Schedule a One-on-One with your best referral source and during that One-on-One focus on helping them. How else can you give others time (a phone call, a handwritten note, an event or seminar, or a phone call)?
affluent client. The web designer with the guy who trains dentists. You get it. :) TEACH: I use this often as well and just like Team, the beauty in giving massive value first with Teaching is that I also derive a TON of BENEFIT while giving value! When one person teaches another, two people learn. One thing you could teach others is referral generation and the power of generosity. You have wisdom inside you and others can benefit from that. Also, seek to continue expanding your wisdom. Read, go to conferences, watch Webinars, and fill your brain with good stuff. Action: To whom could you teach the 7 T’s of Generosity: The 7 Ways to Give Massive Value First? TIME: You can also give Time. This is the one I use the LEAST often now but when I started, I used it the most. When I started, I had no money and lots of time. Now, I trade money for time. Time is our most precious asset, but it is also an inexpensive way to give massive value first. One-on-Ones are
Those are the 7 Ways to Give Massive Value First. I’m hoping they will help you step into any appointment, any networking group, any meeting, any Oneon-One... any relationship KNOWING that you have an incredible amount of value to bring to any relationship. You can Give. Massive. Value. First! And then you need to be ready to receive because reciprocation is the law of the universe working in your favor when you give massive value to the world. For now, Give. Massive. Value. First! Blessings, Michael
MICHAEL J. MAHER is a top-rated speaker, author, and coach who has worked with hundreds of businesses and helped trained thousands of sales executives. His book (7L) The Seven Levels of Communication Go from Relationships to Referrals has been a number one best seller for 8 straight years on Amazon and was named one of the 20 Top-Rated Business Books of All Time by Hubspot. His teachings have been endorsed by such well-known authors and business experts as Gary Keller, cofounder of Keller Williams Realty and author of The One Thing, Dr. Ivan Misner, founder of BNI, Dave Ramsey, author of EntreLeadership and The Total Money Makeover, and dozens more. Michael travels throughout the nation discussing the new type of sales environment called The Generosity Generation. His widely popular GenGen Events are attended by tens of thousands of sales people each year. Each event benefits Maher’s #GiveBack Foundation. For additional information visit http://www. REFERCO.com.
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Are you up for this 30-Day Challenge? By O’Beria Seats
Associate Broker with Greenridge Realty in Grand Rapids, Mich., Dave DeBruyn remains the top contender of the Notevember Challenge and has no plans of relinquishing his Notewriting title anytime soon. As a force to be reckoned with, he has reigned for the last five years, and if you’re thinking about taking the title from him this year, you’d better bring it on because DeBruyn is ready for another knockout month in November.
So what’s all the fuss about Notevember? Realtors, entrepreneurs and professionals are gearing up for Notevember. Nope, that wasn’t a typo. I really did mean Notevember, not November. It’s a fun yet thoughtful challenge for professionals to write 30 notes in the 30 days of November to clients, colleagues, contacts, mentors, referrals, neighbors, troops, friends and friends of friends; or anyone they would like to thank for contributing to their success in some way or another. The challenge was created by Michael J. Maher in 2013 and was
plus it is a common favorite color), and adding a P.S. at the bottom of the letter with a call to action to encourage the receiver to respond (phone call, invite, etc.). “The letter comes to them personalized . . . and when you open it up, it has a small paragraph, thanking them for whatever happened that year you’re grateful for,” DeBruyn said about the hand-crafted notes. “People really respect getting something in the mail handwritten that you took the time to send them. It’s unbelievable what happens when you send it out,” he added.
DeBruyn’s Strategic Approach to Notes
designed with an idea in mind to return back to the basics, a sort of old-school approach, if you will. No emails, no tweeting, no direct messages via Facebook or Instagram, but it’s all about a personalized and simple form of communication to express thanks and appreciation by using an ordinary pen and paper. With 38 years of realtor experience under his belt, DeBruyn has always been a huge supporter of the Notevember challenge. “It hit my hot button to the point that I always believed the basics work in this business. And to actually get involved in a campaign Mike was starting that would literally allow you to thank someone personally, there was nothing that would stop me from being a participant,” said DeBruyn. And a few of those simple yet powerful basics include using letters and envelopes without a company name, blue ink (signifies authenticity
Part of strategizing your notes is about prioritizing the folks in your database. “My treasure 20 are my top ambassadors in my database who give referrals to me throughout the year. They’re my initial send out on day one. And I qualify them as the top 20 of my treasured people.” He then proceeds to send notes to the rest of his contacts, then businesses, military, vendors and everyone else he’s made contact with that year. And you also can’t forget to send notes to the folks who provide service to you on a day-to-day: the overworked waitress, the tireless mechanic, or the pressing dry cleaner worker. Not only can they potentially become clients, but DeBruyn says we should take a moment to thank them. “You need to give them a special notice of thanks, and show them how much you appreciate them and not take them for granted,” he said. Regarding further strategies for notes to buyers and sellers, DeBruyn pointed out, “Once you pull up that person in your database, it’s very easy to figure out what that ‘thank you’ is
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for that year.” It’s good to keep a record of special transactions associated with that client in your database, for example, a first-time home purchase; landing a dream home; or maybe getting an approval on a loan that was initially denied. The idea is to personalize the note according to what happened in that transaction that was unique. Additionally, a note can be tailormade for those who have expressed their intentions on listing their home in the near future. DeBruyn has indeed reaped rewards from sending out thank-you notes. “The rewards are referrals. When you take the time to thank or send out a personal note, you get back what you give out. . . it comes back threefold.” “The key issue about Notevember is never about me, it’s always about the person we are thanking,” he said, “when you write a note to them, it is the highest high of all because you know you’re going to make their day when that envelope hits their address.”
Notes for the Nearest and Dearest Notes are also written and given to family members, especially those who have contributed to DeBruyn’s success. DeBruyn said about his longstanding cheerleader of 38 years, “I’m most grateful for my wife, Jackie. She inspires me to get up in the morning and have a great day. Throughout my real estate career, she’s been my best supporter. The most grateful moment is waking up starting the day knowing that my wife is in total support.” Close friends also make the thankyou list, too. DeBruyn once wrote a note to a long-time friend who had his back in the Vietnam War. He gives credit to his friend for helping him survive the war. The note went something like this: “Reflecting on our past and how special you are to
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me because of what we had gone through, and because of you I’m here to thank you again for your friendship.” And of course, a gratitude note has been sent to the brainchild behind the Notevember Challenge. “He’s a blessing to my life. He has inspired me to direct my business in other ways I have neglected,” DeBruyn said about Maher. DeBruyn offers this advice for those who are thinking about participating in the Notevember challenge for the first time: “Do it with enthusiasm and commit to doing it every day for 30 days. The point of this program is to never second-guess yourself. And do it with a direction that this is going to make someone very happy, and it will also help you get referrals back.”
Dave DeBruyn specializes in Real Estate excellence at Kentwood Residential Real Estate Connections along with Greenridge Realty. You can find him on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ DaveDeBruynKentwood/
O’BERIA SEATS is a freelance writer, copywriter, and content creator who develops written content for entrepreneurs and businesses. For more info: www.OberiaSeats.com.
EDITOR’S NOTE: The 2018 Notevember Challenge just kicked off… it’s not too late to join! Sign up at www.Notevember.com and take the challenge today!
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#GiveBack in a BIG way! By O’Beria Seats WE ALL LOVE A GIVER. We like to receive from them. We like to be around them. And deep down, we want to be like them. Needless to say, their energy is contagious. After you’ve encountered a giver, the next thing you know you’re donating clothes to the Salvation Army, participating in canned-foods drives, or
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becoming a mentor. Toril Schoepfer, owner of Toril Sells Houses Team in Sumner, Washington, has one of those gigantic hearts that resembles a reservoir, where monetary donations are stored and eventually dispersed out to the community when needed.
Primarily serving the Puget Sound area, Toril and her team are considered Your Best Friends in Real Estate. “We focus on relationship-building. Our mission is to help people, make friends, have fun, make money and give back,” Toril said about her slogan in action. And giving back is an understatement
catalyst* connection
to do more than just sell houses. Toril recalls an important point in Michael J. Maher’s book, the (7L) Seven Levels of Communication, “Michael talks about starting with the end in mind, and what would you want on your tombstone later in life. I wouldn’t want mine to read Toril’s team sold houses or sold a bunch of dirt. But instead [it should read] through helping people buy, sell and invest, we truly made a difference in our community.” Toril explains that she’s never been the clenched-fist type when it comes to giving, and uses the analogy of the open hand. “If your hands are open, money (or whatever goal) is going to come in. And guess what? It’s going to go out, too. But if you have a clenched fist, nothing can get out. And absolutely nothing can get in either.” Toril doesn’t believe in settling when it comes to giving. Why give less when you are more than capable of giving more? Toril knew without a doubt her and her team could do better. So they launched the Give Back Big Mission in January 2018, where 10 percent of net commissions would be donated to charities.
when it comes to this team’s efforts. In fact, Toril Sells Houses Team is the first give-back real estate company in its marketplace with a system like theirs. We’re not talking about ordinary fundraisers here. But this is giving on another level.
Giving is a Calling Toril believes we should always try to take advantage of opportunities to give. Giving, for Toril, feels more like her life’s purpose and fits well with her personality. She knows in her heart she was called
Agents were expected to give 5 percent, while the office planned to give the remaining 5 percent. The give back amount was set for $75,000 for the year, which would come from $3 million in combined commission income as a team. However, Toril was worried team members would not want to give their 5 percent portion, and was afraid of losing them. “[Theoretically] I’m asking them to take from their families and give to a charity,” she said. But Toril discovered that the hearts of her team members were just as big as hers because everyone was all hands on deck.
Give Back Big Mission 2018 Toril thinks giving should be a system that’s carefully planned out. As her office gets calls weekly from the community, asking for donations or sponsorships, it would be impossible to give to everyone. So she knew she had to come up with a plan. Toril reached out to her beloved tribe (a group of people that she knows, loves and trusts) for charity recommendations.
catalyst* connection
She researched to see which local charities gave back most of the money she and her team had given them. “Because we didn’t want a company that was taking half of the money we’re going to give them for them to put [only] toward their profits. All the charities we chose gave 80 percent or higher to their causes.” The Give Back Big Mission 2018 focuses on five categories: children, health, homelessness, education, and animals. The charities are St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, where kids receive specialized treatment for cancer and other life-threatening diseases; World Vision, an organization that locally gives back to children’s education, teachers and schools; Auburn Valley Humane Society, which provides shelter, programs and other services for animals; Helping Hand House, a charity that grants housing to homeless women and their children; and Fred Hutch, a research center specializing in cancer research. “If our clients buy, sell or invest with us, 10 percent of our net commissions we are contributing on their behalf will go toward one of the five charities they choose,” she said. The Toril team has about two more months to reach their Give Back Big Mission’s goal of $75,000. So far this year they’ve donated over $40,000 of their net commision earnings. The team has already started working on giving strategies for 2019. “One of my lines I always say from my heart is ‘you haven’t seen anything yet,’” Toril said, “I can’t wait until we can give away $1 million.” Toril’s system is too good to keep to herself. She said, “I’d love to share everything we’ve done for the Give Back, so it would be easy for [others] not to invent it. We’re working on it every day. We pioneered to where we are, and we’re happy to share it with others.” Toril proudly declares how giving back has greatly impacted her business,
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“It made it more fun. . . . we’re saving animals from being put down, we’re helping to find a cure for cancer for kids, and we’re helping school teachers inspire children in school. So I’d rather shout from the rooftops, ‘hey we did this amazingness with the children or the pets vs. we sold 10 houses today.’” She further adds, “It’s so much fun to win through others because when you’re helping them, it’s a different way to win.”
Givers are Strong People Those with a giving heart are usually the ones who have strength in character. And that character is often developed through challenging experiences. Additionally, Toril’s name-- which means female warrior-- also embodies strength. She realized that going through a divorce prepared her to be more sensitive to her clients. “Sometimes we’re working with people who are having a life crisis, usually death, divorce, etc., and I wanted to share that ‘hey, I understand. I’ve been through the same hardships.’” It took a certain mindset for Toril to get through that difficult time in her life. “Not that I wanted to get a divorce, but those things happen. I decided that it wasn’t going to be ‘why me’ but instead ‘why not me?’” In a nutshell on what it’s really all
about for Toril and her team, “It’s about contribution more than it is about success, but it’s success through contribution. It’s who we are . . . it’s our vision, our mission, and we’re creating a legacy of that.” [*Note: Toril wanted to give an honorable mention to her colleagues and friends in real estate, Anthony Marguleas, owner of Amalfi Estates and Scott Panella with KW. Both Marguleas and Panella have companies that also give back, and they inspired Toril and her team to launch their Give Back Big Mission 2018.] EDITOR’S NOTE: Toril is one of Coach Michael Maher’s star students, and she has shown what it is like to take the (7L) System and run with it! Catch Toril on www.ReferralsPodcast. com; December 25th and January 1st, where she talks more about her work with charities, and her signature I Love You A Latte events!
O’BERIA SEATS is a freelance writer, copywriter, and content creator who develops written content for entrepreneurs and businesses. For more info: www. OberiaSeats.com.
Referable Reads “Not a realtor? Doesn’t matter. Get It! I was worried about buying this because it’s obviously targeted to those in the real estate industry (I was once in long time ago). I’m happy to say that there is still an absolute ton of lessons to be gleaned that will work for anyone who’s in small business or an entrepreneur. Wrap your goggles around it as soon as you can.”
“This may be the most important Go-Giver book yet—and in today’s polarized world, it could not be more timely.” ~Marshall Goldsmith, Author of What Got You Here Won’t Get You There
~Nicholas, 5-Star Amazon Review
“The most important parable —about business and about life—of our time.” ~ Adam Grant, New York Times bestselling author of Give and Take
“This man is a master at showing appreciation, and a master at gift giving.” ~Shep Hyken, Customer Experience Expert & 4X New York Times Best Seller
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