Table of Contents Front Of Book
Behind the Cover Masthead
Who We Are Letter From The Editor
Readings For Tortured Poets
The Beauty Of Friendships
Summer In The City
Blooming Outside The Internet Staff Spotlight Into The Unknown
Main Campus
Jumping Into Journaling
The Temple Students Behind Philly’s Flower Show
The Mine
Cover Shoot
Spring Fashion Inspo History Of Coquette Fashion
Dating Yourself
Embracing the Awkwardness Of It All Maybe It’s a Phase & That’s A-Okay!
Staffer Shoot
It’s Finally Sunny In Philadelphia Go Piss Girl
Learning To Let Go Third Places
A Breath Of Fresh Hair
How Studying Abroad Helped Me Bloom as a Person Connect With Temple’s Resources
Behind The Cover
Blossoming amidst the vibrant backdrop of Bartram’s Garden in West Philadelphia, models Veronica Rin, Siya Patel, and Ty Nevils radiate renewal for the cover shoot. Lead photographer Alana Palmer captures their essence, blending it with the timeless beauty of nature. Through her lens, she illuminates the intricate dance between growth and transformation, illustrating the power of change to breathe new life into the world.
Editor-in-Chief Samantha Roehl
Managing Editor Nathaly Suquinagua
Senior Editor Giovanna Cicalese
Editorial
FOB/BOB Editor Amna Faheem
Features Editor Rosamelia Sanchez Lara
Fashion Editor Esther Manso
Love Editor Bella Wilson
Health Editor Julianne Kotch
Culture Editor Iona Clark
Digital Editor Maddie Mosely
Monica Constable & Lilly Werling
Visuals
Design Director Anabel Keagy
Lead Photographer Alana Palmer
Assistant Photographer Lillian Prieto
Social Media
Social Media Director Clare Sykes
Assistant Social Media Rachel Williams
A special thanks to our staff writers and editorial, digital, and visuals contributors
Who We Are
Just as diamonds are refined by intense pressure and extracurricular challenges, REFINE magazine will challenge Temple women to think outside of the box.
REFINE offers a fresh perspective on campus life: the fashion statements, culture, music trends, health habits, and love lives that Temple women possess, all in one beautifully packaged product. Our goal is to provide great service to our readers, so that they can navigate through the trenches of college with confidence and grace.
REFINE mimics the voice of the reader’s BFF: We love you, but we have no qualms about giving it to you straight.
Letter From The Editor
Dear reader,
I can hardly believe this is my final letter to you.
There are not words to describe what this college journey has meant to me. I have been coming to campus since I was a little kid, carrying a backpack full of toys and coloring books. When my elementary school had days off, my dad would bring me to Temple with him, and I would watch Kiki’s Delivery Service on my portable DVD player while he taught.
It was through this connection that I had the wonderful opportunity to take magazine writing at Temple during my senior year of high school. At the time, I didn’t know it would change the trajectory of my college experience.
In that class, I fell in love with the expressiveness of magazine writing. I was also lucky enough to meet and befriend the lovely Bekah Harding, who introduced me to REFINE Magazine. She was the EIC to my managing editor (and senior editor… and features editor… and fob/bob editor… it’s a long story), before she graduated and spread her wings. It is my turn, now, to pass on the torch.
It has been a wonderful four years. Yes, there were late stories and layouts that weren’t quite right and last minute emergencies. But, at the end of the day, I had a hand in eight issues of REFINE that I am so, so proud of.
Part of me feels that if I just keep writing this letter, it won’t end. If I just keep revising and editing and undoing, real life can’t catch up. I don’t want it to end. But it is. And I am leaving you, and REFINE, with all my love.
Until we meet again,
Samantha RoehlReadings For Tortured Poets
By: Samantha RoehlWhether you love Taylor Swift’s The “Tortured Poets Department,” hate it, or just keep confusing it with “Dead Poets Society,” there’s no denying that it made waves. With over 300 million streams on Spotify within the first day of release, it seems like everything Taylor Swift touches becomes gold. In hopes that this interest in poetry extends beyond TS11, I have compiled some of my favorite poetry collections for all the other tortured poets out there.
Crush by Richard Siken
If you were on the queer side of tumblr at any point, you’ve seen excerpts of Richard Siken’s poetry. Seriously though, it’s so good.
The Life of the Party by Olivia Gatwood
Lovely and horrifying, this collection tackles the dangers and violence of girlhood.
Don’t Call Us Dead by Danez Smith
This collection explores race, faith, sexuality, police brutality, and more.
If Not, Winter: Fragments of Sappho
I would be remiss to exclude the patron saint of sapphic yearning herself. Tragically, most of what we have is fragments, the rest lost to time. But what we do have is beautiful.
This Wound Is a World by Billy-Ray Belcourt
This poetry collection examines love and colonialism through a queer indigenous lens.
Some are Always Hungry by Jihyun Yun
A haunting poetry collection about war and girlhood and immigration, all through the lens of food (or the lack thereof).
Patricide by Dave Harris
Written by a Philadelphia native, this rageful yet beautiful collection discusses growing up Black in America.
The Beauty Of Friendships
By: Rachel WilliamsSince I was in pre-school, I have been drawn to meeting and connecting with others. There is something beautiful about getting to know someone and developing a one-of-a-kind bond. The beauty of close friendships lies not only in the shared laughter and joy but also in the moments of vulnerability and support. Through each stage of my life, I’ve had friends who introduced me to new things, taught me lessons, and picked me up when I was down.
The environment of college is the ultimate garden of friendship, every encounter feels like planting a seed that could grow into something amazing. I’ve made some of my closest friends in the bathroom at a random party, at a general club meeting, or while I was just living my life on campus.
When I began making new friends, I threw myself out in random social situations and hoped that things worked out. Temple fostered a space for me to develop mature and close-knit bonds. These friendships are more than going out and having a good time, they’re also about having someone to lean on when school life gets tough.
I met two of my most impactful college friendships in different ways. I first met Andy at a callback for a student-run musical, and I met Mel at a club meeting.
I walked into the lobby of the callback room and instantly noticed Andy. He seemed different from the rest of the people in the room. We got called into the room to sing together and have been friends ever since.
Andy has been there for me through moments of sadness; when he stayed up until 4 a.m. just to listen to me talk, and in moments of celebration; after I got accepted to my dream internship. He truly is one of my biggest cheerleaders and inspirations. Prior to our meeting, I didn’t have many friends who read or watched the work I did, or went to my performances. Andy holds me accountable when I’m in the wrong and shows me unconditional love. He taught me how to be confident in who I am and showed me the difference between a good and bad friend. The impact Mel had on my life was completely unexpected. We talked from time to time at our club meetings, but everything began to change when we randomly decided to hangout one on one.
Our first hangout unlocked a bond that is so special to me. I’ve had some of the most enlightening and life-changing conversations with her.
Mel changed the way I look at the world and altered my perspective in many ways. She gave me a safe space to truly express myself and taught me to improve my communication skills.
Andy and Mel are some of the most creative people I know. Their artistic energy motivates me to be better and create things that I am proud of. Not only do both of them inspire me, but they also support my hopes and dreams and provide me with constant reassurance and stability.
What distinguishes these friendships is their capacity to serve as pillars of strength during moments of vulnerability and uncertainty. Through shared experiences and heartfelt conversations, my friends have provided unwavering support, offering solace and guidance during challenging times. The relationships I made in college fostered an environment of mutual growth and enrichment. In the company of my closest friends, I’ve been encouraged to embrace my authentic self and try things that are unfamiliar to me.
College friendships come and go, but there will be a lifelong impact with every person that I meet at school.
As I experience academic challenges and navigate the complexities of young adulthood, my friends have been one of the only things that has stayed constant in my life, and I am forever grateful for each person I met on my journey of life.
By
Summer In The City
By: Maddie MosleyAs the warm summer sun graces Philadelphia with its presence, the city comes alive with a myriad of activities and events, offering something for everyone. From cultural celebrations to culinary delights and serene green spaces, Philadelphia’s summer scene is brimming with excitement. Here’s a list of some of the most enticing experiences the city has to offer:
Independence Blue Cross RiverRink Summerfest
Embrace the quintessential summer experience at RiverRink Summerfest, where outdoor roller skating, boardwalk games, and delectable eats await. Summerfest starts on May 1 and is set against the picturesque backdrop of the Delaware River and Ben Franklin Bridge. This iconic attraction promises fun for the whole family. Whether you’re testing your skills on the mini-golf course, or savoring Philly favorites like cheesesteaks and crabfries, Summerfest offers a perfect blend of nostalgia and excitement.
Spruce Street Harbor Park
Escape the hustle and bustle of the city at Spruce Street Harbor Park, a waterfront oasis boasting colorful hammocks, floating gardens, and mouthwatering cuisine. Relax under the illuminated trees or embark on a culinary adventure, sampling tacos from Philly Taco and indulging in French Toast Bites. With its vibrant ambiance and diverse offerings, Spruce Street Harbor Park is the epitome of summer bliss.
Chinese Lantern Festival
Step into a world of enchantment at the Chinese Lantern Festival in Philadelphia’s Historic District. From June through August, Franklin Square transforms into a mesmerizing spectacle with dozens of handcrafted lanterns, depicting intricate designs of dragons, tigers, and more. Marvel at the skillful performances, from juggling to ancient folk dancing, while indulging in delectable treats like rice balls and dan dan noodles. Don’t forget to explore the Dragon Beer Garden, where local artists showcase their talent amidst the vibrant atmosphere.
Philly Pride Parade and Festival
Celebrate love and diversity at the Philly Pride Parade and Festival, a joyous extravaganza honoring the LGBTQ+ community. Join the “Be You” Sunday Parade on June 2, which goes through downtown Philadelphia, followed by a daylong festival featuring live performances, local vendors, and
vibrant street celebrations. Spread across the Gayborhood, this event is a testament to Philadelphia’s spirit of inclusivity and acceptance.
Hike + Heal
Embark on a journey of self-discovery with Hike + Heal, a transformative experience that combines outdoor adventures with mindfulness practices. From Healing Hikes to Happy Hour Hikes, these curated excursions provide an opportunity to connect with nature and foster new friendships. Whether you’re a seasoned hiker or a novice explorer, Hike + Heal offers a supportive environment for women of all fitness levels.
PHS Pop-Up Gardens
Immerse yourself in the beauty of nature at the Philadelphia Horticultural Society Pop-Up Gardens, vibrant seasonal hangouts set in lush garden settings. Savor delicious food and botanical-inspired cocktails while participating in craft-making programs and plant swaps. With their eclectic array of events and culinary offerings, these temporary gardens are perfect for unwinding with friends or indulging in a moment of tranquility.
Royal Boucherie and Bok Bar
Indulge in culinary delights at Royal Boucherie, a lively bistro nestled in Old City, or savor panoramic views at Bok Bar, a rooftop oasis in South Philly. Whether you’re enjoying moulesfrites on the terrace or soaking in the sunset with a cold drink in hand, these iconic destinations offer a taste of Philadelphia’s vibrant dining scene.
The
Roots Picnic and Other Concerts
Experience the magic of live music at The Roots Picnic, a hiphop and R&B festival from June 1 through June 2, curated by Philadelphia’s legendary band. With performances by acclaimed artists like Lil Wayne and Jill Scott, this annual event promises a weekend of unforgettable music and celebration. Don’t miss out on other concerts at The Mann Center, featuring artists like Niall Horan (June 11) and Tate McRae (August 14), for a summer filled with rhythm and melody.
Philadelphia’s summer offerings encompass a diverse array of experiences, from cultural celebrations to culinary adventures and outdoor escapades. Whether you’re exploring the city’s vibrant festivals or unwinding in its serene green spaces, summer in Philadelphia is sure to leave you with cherished memories and a newfound appreciation for this dynamic metropolis.
BloomingOutside The Internet
By: Jada MontgomeryYou’re out to dinner with friends at a nice restaurant, and after some waiting, the waiter finally brings out the table’s food. The first thing everyone does before digging in is snap a few pictures, and probably post them in or after the moment.
This scenario might seem minor and is likely something that you or people around you do when eating out. However, it stands as an example of how social media is present even in our most mundane moments. Everyday things such as working out, going to work or school, and cleaning are sometimes posted across platforms.
Not only is this unnecessary, but is usually being done for some sort of validation. Whether it’s to impress friends or gain followers, there’s a reason why people are constantly posting online. This is taken a step further with “influencers” or “content creators,” who regularly post things such as “my 5 to 9 after my 9 to 5” or “what I eat in a day.” The need to turn every part of your day into content creates an urge to immediately take a private moment and make it public by sharing or posting it.
“In my observations, students are almost uniformly unhappy about their social media use, from the amount to the extent of it. And they would love to get off but have no idea how,” journalism professor Laurence Stains said.
And it doesn’t stop at just one picture at dinner. It’s taking 100 photos, then using a filter or two, and coming up with a caption — all for one Instagram post. We share graduation photos, wedding photos, or even a career change. We become concerned about how to create a perfect public perception of ourselves to our friends and “followers.”
Comparison is another bad element. Very few people post unfiltered, bad-angled, poorly lit photos on their pages. In some cases, people fake having more luxurious lifestyles in order to accrue social media fame. For example, Instagram influencer NataliaTaylor faked vacation photos to make it seem like she went to Bali; when she actually took the photos in an Ikea.
Similarly, people usually don’t make LinkedIn announcements about losing a job. Social media creates a vessel of hyperpositivity, where users have an illusion of what each other’s life is like. It’s very easy to look at a picture of someone else and wish you had what they are perceived to have, whether the post reflects reality or not.
Both elements — creating the perfect online image, and looking at the images of others while comparing yourself — begin a vicious cycle. It leaves you feeling not good enough and behind on life events. If any of these things resonate with you or if you’re spending a little too much time on social media apps, it may be time to take a break.
Tips for leaving the internet behind:
This summer, take some time to work on yourself and blossom outside of the internet. Limiting screen time for social media apps or just your phone in general is a great way to start. It may also help to log off of one app for an extended period of time. This can look like deleting an account, an app, or setting daily screen time limits.
“I deleted Twitch. I deleted TikTok. I deleted Snapchat. I just did a full cleanse,” freshman communications major Remington Vaughn said. “I honestly think it was kind of insane, like how much my mental health just bounced back.”
Here are a few things you can do to replace all that time you spend scrolling:
1. Go on a walk! If the weather is nice, pop on some headphones or earbuds, and take a walk outside. I suggest walking around campus, on a track, or around Center City during the day. Going on a nice stroll while listening to some music is a great way to get some easy exercise, make good use of your time, and de-stress.
2. Grab a book or a two. Head to the library or the bookstore, grab a few books, and spend your downtime learning or using your imagination, instead of mindlessly scrolling.
3. Consider a new hobby or spend more time on an old one. From working out to painting, find some time to try something new, or revisit something old that you enjoy. This can replicate that dopamine rush you’re used to when scrolling through social media.
4, Phone jail. Investing in a phone jail or a phone lock box can be a helpful way to ensure you stay off your phone for a few hours. These can usually be purchased online at stores such as Amazon.
As we get ready for another hot girl summer, think about your relationship with social media. If it’s a toxic one, it might be time to spend some time away from your favorite platforms and spend more time working on yourself.
Staff Spotlight:
Nathaly Suquinagua
By:Hadiyah MuhammadStaff writer Hadiyah Muhammad chatted with Managing Editor Nathaly Suquinagua about REFINE, college experiences, and dance.
HD: You’ve been working for REFINE for a little over three years, and you started as a feature writer, what’s the transition into different roles been like since your start?
NS: I would say that now it’s more hands-on, and I get to say more when it comes to the magazine, the layout, and the design. As a feature writer, I was just writing and revising articles. Being a senior editor has given me a chance to collaborate with many people, such as the staffers, the editors, and even the other senior editors. The transition was very smooth, and I gradually got used to my new role!
HD: You’ll be graduating this year! What are some things you would tell your freshman self coming into Temple?
NS: There’s so much to tell my younger self! I think I would say to let go of a lot of things. Not to worry about the small things; sometimes things just have to take their course, and if it’s meant to be, it will. Even now I catch myself worrying about small things, and I think that once you let go of things, it will be much smoother, especially in college. I also would tell myself to surround myself with people who make me happy, and if there’s time, to cherish being alone and have a cute date alone.
Photos Courtesy Of Nathaly SuquinaguaHD: Outside of REFINE, you’ve had quite a bit of experience in writing and social media. What’s one of your proudest moments?
NS: Every experience I have had makes me proud. I will say that two things have stood out to me the most, which would have to be my time interning with BillyPenn at WHYY and collaborating with Julie K. Brown through the Philadelphia Inquirer and The Logan Center for Urban Investigative Reporting at Temple. I interned for Billy Penn, and I loved my experience. I got to do awesome stories that got published. One story that I enjoyed writing would have to be my ECW (Extreme Championship Wrestling) story. I got great feedback from that, and I got to speak to cool people and learn more about the history.
During my time with Julie K. Brown, we did an investigative report on chronic absenteeism in Philly. I got the chance to interview students, speak with other journalists at the Inquirer, and even write a part that ended up getting published. I got to learn so much with Julie, and I think during that time I realized that being a journalist is truly what I want to do for the rest of my life and tell stories of the voiceless. I’m grateful to all my teachers and mentors for giving me these amazing opportunities to expand my knowledge.
HD: I saw you’re also a dance minor here at Temple. How have you been able to balance being a journalism major and then having a minor in Boyer?
NS: I grew up dancing since I was three years old. Since I can remember, I have always balanced dance and school all my life. There was never a time when I didn’t dance. Dancing and being a journalism major has been an amazing experience, and I am really glad I decided to continue dancing.
I think I am good at balancing both my major and my minor. I will say that there have been times when I had to choose between both of them and decide. Dance gives me an escape and has become my safe place. Dancing has always been my passion. This semester has been a little difficult to dance due to my schedule and my internship, but I am really glad I am still taking dance classes here with this amazing teacher I love. I hope to still dance after college.
Into the Unknown
By: Kyla GreenAs a graduating senior at Temple University, I know all too well how scary the thought of graduation can be. The thoughts of whether or not I’ll be successful, or if I did enough during my college career loom over my head every day. While I constantly struggle with the idea of finally being done with school and navigating the next steps in life, I am aware that I’m not alone. After interviewing five seniors about their personal feelings toward graduation, it became clear that being nervous and uncertain about the future is a universal experience.
Leilani Leaston, a senior public relations major at the Klein College of Media and Communication, expressed excitement regarding continuing her studies following graduation and finally being able to apply her skills to her working life. “Personally, I’m going straight back to school in August, so I won’t be in the real world for long, but I will be working and in school,” Leaston said. “I’m kind of excited to get into the workspace because being a full time student hasn’t been 100 percent rewarding. I’d rather be making money and applying the skills I have. I’m actually excited! I know that sounds crazy. I mean I’m nervous about pretty much being on my own, but I’m excited to have that responsibility and the degree to lean on.”
Ayman Yousif, a sports recreation management major at the School of Sport, Tourism, and Hospitality Management, shares equal feelings of excitement and nervousness, but is ready to experience new things that life has to offer. “I’m excited to make more money and getting to experience new areas of life,” Yousif said. “I’m nervous about finding a new state to live in, a new job, and getting accustomed to everything but it’s important to take it day by day. I would also say graduating in 2020 and ending high school so abruptly, we already got a shift into the real world because we didn’t know what to do after that and people went on different paths, whether they decided to go to college or take a different route.
Gabriela Carter, a nursing major at the College of Public Health, is more excited than nervous about the transition, but still acknowledges how much of an adjustment entering the workforce will be. “It’s going to be crazy not having to do school work anymore,” Carter said. “I’m mainly excited to begin my career, the rewarding feeling of doing your job, loving what you do and meeting different people throughout.”
Listella Derival, an economics major at the Fox School of Business, is most excited about finally having a more consistent lifestyle, but fears not being near the friends she’s made along the way on her college journey. “To keep it real, I’m most excited for the financials. Being a broke college student is not it, so trying to pour your time into everything like classes, school, and a part time job is very stressful, especially going through so many changes as a person and becoming a part of the adult world,” Derival said. “The school environment and being on a college campus is honestly unbeatable and being able to have your friends that are literally not even a five minute walk away; I think that’s what I’m going to miss the most.
Natalia Mohika, a communications major at Klein College of Media and Communication, is honest about her fear to transition into the real world due to the abrupt transition from high school to college during the midst of Covid-19. However, she looks forward to the new possibilities of the future.
“I know people are tired of talking about it, but a big part of the fear has always been because of Covid,” Mohika said. “I feel like I have not handled the transition from high school to college in a particularly well manner, and because I struggled from that transition, transitions seem ten times scarier for me. I also think it will be refreshing to start anew, find myself in a different environment, trying to make friends, and find myself in a different place but not only just find myself but better myself as well.”
Many college seniors share mixed feelings of excitement and fear. While some of the anxiety stems from outside circumstances such as Covid-19, most of it arises from uncertainty or the idea of change. The most important thing to highlight is that you are not alone in this process, and putting your best foot forward regardless of the angst makes all the difference in these next parts of your journey.
Main Campus
Jumping Into Journaling
By Sally ThistlePicture this: It’s Christmas morning 2013, you’re 10 years old and wearing an elf-patterned onesie. “The 12 Days of Christmas” is playing on the radio, and you hold a gift in your hand wrapped in red paper. You eagerly rip it open to find a small book with a lock on it. It’s a diary – Pretty lame compared to the Harry Potter Lego set you asked for, but could there be more to this little book than meets the eye?
Depending on the type of person you are, a book full of empty pages waiting to be written on can be exhilarating or completely paralyzing. Whichever side of the spectrum you fall on, I promise you that your future self will be grateful that you picked up this seemingly trivial, yet deeply impactful habit.
I was that 10-year-old child opening this seemingly underwhelming present on Christmas morning, not unaware of the impact it would have on my life. If you’re looking for an easy way to manage your stress, improve your mental health, and open up your inner world, journaling might be the right fit for you.
“Journaling is all about mindfulness in motion,” said Lydia Lynes, a wellness educator at Temple University’s Wellness Resource Center. “It helps us process through all of our thoughts or feelings, the situations and experiences that we have and helps us to really reflect on them and propel forward.”
When I got my first journal I didn’t treat it too seriously. I scribbled in it and drew childlike doodles with colored markers, but eventually, I began to write. I wrote about my past, my present, and what I wanted for my future. It soon became a sort of mental oasis for me.
Whenever my mind began to run into dangerous territory, ruminating on past traumatic events, or stressing over future anxieties, I would open that book of empty pages, and soothe myself with the sound of pencil meeting paper. Somedays I would write for thirty minutes, others just two, but it soon became a habit and I expanded my practice to include affirmations, gratitude lists, and a space to write my goals for the day.
Writing in a journal can help us process our emotions, making it a good coping mechanism for mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression.
“Everything would feel so scrambled and I just figured maybe writing it out would help,” said Emma Hambleton, a sophomore advertising major. They picked up journaling as a way to better manage their anxiety, and have since expanded their practice to include room for their creative voice. “I appreciate being able to look back through periods of your life that you’ve written in where you were going through a harder time. It’s nice to see that I’ve made progress.”
Some people find that journaling helps them to be more aware of their emotions.
“Through journaling, I was able to articulate my feelings more and to understand how I felt about certain situations,” said Cait Obeng, a sophomore computer science major. “It’s interesting to see how my writing and my inner voice have changed throughout the years.”
Journaling allows me and many others to take a front-row seat to our character development, an opportunity to revisit our highest triumphs and our lowest lows; to see what we’ve learned, and to keep a record of memories, quotes, poems, and people whom we’ve loved. At the end of the day, we are our oldest friends, and there’s something incredibly special about having a complete life story written within a book of once-empty pages.
If you’re interested in learning more about journaling, you can attend a journaling session in the Wellness Resource Center to expand your toolbox. You can find out more information on their website and their Instagram account @bewelltu or visit them in the Student Center Room 201.
The Temple Students Behind Philly’s Flower Show
By: Samantha RoehlThe Philadelphia Flower Show has been a mainstay of Philadelphia culture for almost 200 years. Run by the Pennsylvania Horticultural Society (PHS), the event takes place annually in the Pennsylvania Convention Center and boasts the title of the world’s oldest and largest indoor flower show. For many Philadelphians, the Flower Show is an opportunity to appreciate extravagant floral and landscape installations from a diverse group of exhibitors. For many Temple students, participating in the show means getting exposure for their hard work.
For the last 75 years, Temple students have exhibited in the flower show. This tradition started when Temple Ambler was the Pennsylvania School of Horticulture for Women, and continued after the school merged with Temple University in 1958. Nowadays, students majoring in landscape architecture spend their junior year in a studio class, putting together their display for the flower show.
“It’s been really awesome because most of the things we design in our courses, it’s theoretical and it’s just an idea, and it’s not going to become a thing… it’s just to practice designing,” junior landscape architecture major Maggie Murphy said. “But with this, we actually got to build it which made everything much more real. It made you think a lot about the tiniest details.” This year’s display focused on the history of the Pennsport neighborhood and ways to increase sustainability in the area. The students took home multiple awards including the Gold Medal for the Educational division.
Temple students do more than just exhibit at the flower show. The flower show, a vast sea of moving parts planned out years in advance, has over 100 full-time employees alongside student interns.
The interns help with the tasks behind the scenes that, if everything runs smoothly, the public never knows about. Before the show started, operations intern Gwenna Singer, a
senior tourism and hospitality major, made a show bible of the details of every exhibit. She logged everything, down to how much sod and mulch each exhibit got, so that everyone could be on the same page. After the show, she helped track the union labor and went through receipts and invoices.
“It is really amazing to see something come together where there are so many different moving pieces,” Singer said. “You have volunteers, to exhibitors, to sponsors, to vendors. You have a lot of things going on. And not only are you working with all of those people, but you’re also working with the venue, which is the convention center.”
The flower show is about more than just showing off a lot of pretty plants. It is PHS’s largest annual fundraiser, allowing the horticultural society to pursue its other initiatives, such as planting trees and greening vacant lots in Philadelphia.
“It feels good to be involved,” Kathryn Ford said. She is a senior public relations major and PHS intern whose grandfather worked on the flower show in the 40s and 50s. “I love how much they [PHS] put back into the community. Their main message is to build a stronger, healthier community.”
Whether you’re a PHS employee or intern who works yearround on the flower show or someone who just enjoys visiting during its annual run at the convention center, the Philadelphia Flower Show is undeniably a piece of Philadelphia history. And it’s one that Temple University shares in.
“The flower show is just a moment in time every year where things just become beautiful,” PHS Director of Sales Michelle Ullman said. She received her Master’s of Tourism and Hospitality Management at Temple. “And beauty, I think, really inspires people to be nice and to be respectful and to be kind to one another… [it] is just a moment of beauty every year in Philadelphia that cannot be replicated.”
By
The Mine
Cover Shoot
Cover Shoot
Photos By Alana PalmerSpring Fashion Inspo
By Amna Faheem1. Pants
Summer can be an uncomfortable time of year for some. The hot weather and relentless sun on the skin might be unpleasant. Linen pants are a perfect solution. They’re a stellar basic to have in your closet and can serve as a handy coverup at the beach, or a fancy dinner out. They also come in a range of colors, making them fun to style. It’s important when choosing your garments to pick something light and breathable. A pair of white linen pants are not only very comfortable, but they protect from the sun, ensuring that you’ll look good and
2. Dresses
Flowy clothing has grown in popularity. Long, patterned dresses are making appearances as the weather warms up. Dresses are very simple, with the comfort and ease of throwing one on and not having to be concerned about matching a top with a bottom. Regardless of your style, there is something for all preferences. Backless patterned and strapless neutral are but some of the options on the market. There’s nothing with more of a summer feeling than throwing on a cute dress, and some simple jewelry and spending the day out in the sun!
3. Shorts
Bermuda shorts were all the rage in the early 2000s. Now the denim bottoms have made a comeback. Comfort has started to become more prioritized and the baggy shorts are the epitome of comfort. Bermuda shorts are not limited to jean material but also come in cargo shorts. Low-rise Bermuda shorts, or jorts, are easy to build an outfit around. Denim goes with everything, and the shorts are unrestrictive, so you don’t feel the tightness of normal jean shorts. Jorts can be dressed up or down and should be a staple in your closet this summer.
4. Tops
Tops in the summer have extensive possibilities. Tube-tops have come back, and bra-tops are making more appearances in the world. Arguably the most important and most worn top right now are baby tees. Boasting an array of colors and styles, they’re very uncomplicated to dress. Knit tops, however, are being seen much more as the air warms up. Knit tops are wonderful for a warm spring day and can be very vibrant and energetic in color. They can be a cute addition to an outfit and have the potential to upgrade a simple ensemble. Detailed and unique tank tops are also becoming quite popular, with small details catching people’s eyes. Vibrant colors and designs are easy to be drawn to and in the summer, when everyone is at the beach and dancing in the sun, no one wants to don dark colors and unexciting outfits. Stylish pieces like these encapsulate the lively energy of summer!
5. Skirts
Like dresses, skirts are an easy and simple way to throw together an outfit that’s comfortable and breezy in the hot summer days. This summer, the goal is simple: maintaining comfort. Taking after the linen pants, low-rise midi skirts have increased in popularity and gained admiration among the people. Skirts are perfect for all events and circumstances, and linen skirts are so easily styled. A colorful baby tee and some sandals can go a long way!
Fashion is never a one-size-fits-all. It’s important to choose outfits that you’re comfortable in and that connect with your style. Summer is a time to let loose and enjoy yourself in the warm weather. Whether you’re spending your days at the beach or frolicking in the city, you have to make sure you always look and feel your best. Fashion trends are merely suggestions; take what you want from them and twist it to make it your own!
History of Coquette Fashion
By: Atiya DastéI have something difficult to tell you, and you may want to sit down for this. News flash, Lana Del Rey is not a coquette. I’m sure this fall you’ve seen an influx of pink ribbon and floral prints, but the real coquette modus operandi has been around much longer than our ever-changing TikTok trends. The coquette trend has lived so many lives dating back to social media’s influential Adam and Eve, Tumblr. The coquette community originated from the “Nymphet” faction - a community based on seductive young women pursuing older men inspired by the novel “Lolita” by Vladimir Nabokov. So because this community grew, young women in 2012 pop culture began to sexualize these young, feminine motifs. But because of the uproar concerning influences of pedophilia and other sensitive topics, there began a widespread ban on the term Nymphet on many social media sites. There ultimately was a move of popular subdividing including roulette and dollette, but the main aesthetic that was favored was the term Coquette. Coquette is a borrowed French term for a girl or woman who knows how to flatter and manipulate men with her charms to get what she wants. But besides its dark history, its rebrand has steered away from its harmful influences and transformed itself into the adorable fashion we see today which follows the embrace of soft pastels, femininity, and a hint of vintage charm. So basically coquette isn’t an aesthetic, I guess you can consider it a rebrand.
Today, the coquette aesthetic is a search term for various hyperfeminine styles that draw on youthful and teen girl elements. The visuals across these styles can differ, but they share a girly fashion sense and an admiration for Lana Del Rey’s music and aesthetic, which often explores themes of girlhood and flirtation. Contrary to the mainstream trends favored by many teenagers, the coquette aesthetic leans into more frilly and retro looks. So why is Lana Del Rey’s persona misconstrued as the headliner of this aesthetic? Though her song “Lolita” does exist, I think her guise has latched onto this lifestyle for so many other reasons. Lana Del Rey’s music and public persona often showcase themes of romance, nostalgia, and a touch of melancholy, which resonate deeply with this aesthetic. While her style today differs, it harks back to the glamor of bygone eras, mixed with a modern sense of individuality and emotional depth. That’s why she’s a muse for many in the coquette movement- her artistry captures the essence of what it’s all about femininity, flirtation, and a hint of mystery.
In social media, what goes around comes back around–especially on TikTok. The aesthetic began trending again on TikTok last spring when users started posting their take on this ultrafeminine style with Victorian-furnished rooms and pink bows. Users shared outfit inspos, makeup looks, and even lifestyle snippets that embody the coquette vibe. Soon after, pink bows gained traction when videos of bows on everyday objects became viral using Lana Del Rey’s song, “Let The Light In.” As for the fashion industry, designers and brands have noticed the trend and are incorporating more delicate pieces into their collections.
Today, being a coquette isn’t about sexuality or how women flirt. I think in our “2024, year of the girl,” it’s a reclaim of femininity. Men in their 40s can collect Lego sets but when women wear bows and girly outfits it’s unusual. I think we feminine presenting few are slowly being able to connect with our childhood again without being criticized. It’s okay to leave your girl boss era and have a blissful and cozy soft moment. And in the end, isn’t that what style is all about? Crafting our narrative, one coquettish ensemble at a time.
Dating Yourself
By Rachel WilliamsAt the start of 2024, I finally noticed the content I felt in my own company. But it wasn’t always like this.
There’s nothing like going on TikTok and seeing celebrities, or even people you know, happily in love. The narrative of romantic love has been pushed to all of us from a young age. From finding your prince charming or planning your dream wedding, it has always seemed like finding your perfect match was the end goal.
During the pandemic, I got into my first relationship. Like many teen girls, I was excited to be loved, noticed, and appreciated by someone else.
I was really excited to have someone to hang out with and share memories with, so much so that I was willing to sacrifice myself and my needs for the other person. As time went on, things got toxic, and the unhealthy relationship led to an inevitable breakup.
Over the past two years, I have been learning to focus on selflove and how to spend time with myself. As college students, it is very common to see people get into relationships or become immersed in hookup culture. But as we go through the many changes of our early twenties, it’s easy to lose sight of who you really are.
I am honestly still going through a journey of self-discovery and embracing the concept of “dating myself.” But throughout the years, I have unlocked a new sense of self-love and appreciation for myself.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
It’s Okay To Be Alone
Instead of thinking about how lonely I was feeling, I realized that being single wasn’t a deficiency but rather an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.
Without the constant distraction of a relationship, I had the chance to really dive into my interests, work on myself, and get to know who I truly am. Embracing solitude allowed me to cultivate a deeper understanding of my own desires, strengths, and vulnerabilities, fostering a greater sense of independence and resilience.
I now know that my value doesn’t depend on whether I’m in a relationship or not. It’s all about owning who I am and finding joy in my own company. Being single has taught me to appreciate myself, stand tall on my own, and embrace the awesome feeling of being complete with or without a partner.
I Have Time To Learn Something New
I feel like one of the first steps you have to take when you start dating yourself is figuring out what you like to do. Once I started prioritizing my well-being, I realized I had so much more free time.
So I began asking myself, “What could I learn to better my life?” or “What can I practice to help me be more creative?”
I used my free time to learn how to crochet and became more proficient in my guitar and songwriting skills. Whether it’s diving into a new art form, joining a sports team, or immersing yourself in a cause you care about, hobbies offer a much-needed breather from the academic pressures of college.
Mental Health
Once I started putting myself first, it gave me the chance to really tune in to what I needed and get to know myself on a deeper level. I started doing daily brain dump journal entries, yoga, shadow work, and meditations.
I also learned to say no to things that were draining my energy, and instead, prioritized activities that nourished my mind, body, and soul.
Setting boundaries and having a routine that made me reflect and acknowledge where I’m struggling made me feel more fulfilled and balanced.
Physical Workouts
Before I implemented a lifestyle change, I often spent most of my time in bed watching “Modern Family.” And while it’s important to have days of rest, I felt my physical and mental health declining.
I decided that I wanted to feel stronger and take care of my body. Prioritizing my physical health changed everything.
I learned that working out is more than just going to the gym. I discovered that I love group spin classes and taking the time to walk outside.
Once I started working out on a daily basis, I not only felt great internally, but I also felt like I could move through space with confidence.
Being Confident In My Own Skin
When I was in a relationship, I felt like it was confirmation that I could be enough for another person.
Being single in college has given me the freedom to explore new styles and find clothes that I feel like my best self in. This newfound independence empowered me to step into embracing all aspects of who I am.
From dating myself, I began to learn that I am enough and that there is no need to compare myself to others. Instead of picking myself apart and calling out my flaws, I learned to embrace what makes me unique and to celebrate my differences.
Being single isn’t just about finding yourself; it’s about falling in love with yourself all over again.
Embracing the Awkwardness of it All
If there’s anything I’ve learned in my 19 years on this Earth, it’s that no matter how trivial or significant something may seem, it’s absolutely normal to be embarrassed by yourself over stuff that you can or can’t control.
Coming to understand and appreciate your own little quirks and imperfections is such a big sign of self-awareness and vulnerability that allows you to dig deeper into the aspects of yourself that you do or don’t like.
At the end of the day, that is what makes us human beings. It all comes down to the three Ls: living your life, laughing at yourself, and loving all the traits - both normal and unusual - that makeup who you are as a person.
It is understandable why we may not feel satisfied with ourselves or not accepted by others. There are so many things to be selfconscious about: be it our appearance, whether or not we’re perceived as “cool,” or our seemingly “weird” personality traits we exhibit.
But we shouldn’t have to envy the person sitting next to us or the influencers and models who are constantly showing up on our Instagram feeds. It’s not healthy to constantly be comparing ourselves and thinking “Oh my gosh, what do they have that I don’t.” And hey, it’s likely that the influencer’s life isn’t what they make it out to be to their audience
On a personal level, I have spent years struggling with accepting myself as a person, worrying about how I look or my lack of “coolness.” I still struggle with it today. These thoughts still consume my inner thoughts - whether it be in person, admiring the style or confidence of people walking past on the streets or scrolling through Instagram, watching others’ posts rack up hundreds of likes in just a short period of time.
I have to admit, it was very hard to try and not compare myself to them. But, I had to find the things that make me who I am and embrace them.
Today, as a self-aware 19-year-old, I’ve learned that it’s ok to have unique traits that set you apart from others. It’s okay if the girl next to you has more followers than you on Instagram or has better fashion sense than you. It’s not the end of the world. I am worth much more than I give myself credit for, and so are you.
Maybe It’s A Phase & That’s A-Okay!
By: Morgan Ritter“Sexuality is a spectrum” is a widely accepted belief in modern society in regards to queerness. At the same time, other queer-related phrases I’ve heard include: “You can’t be bisexual and only date men,” “Are you sure you’re queer?,” “Oh, that’s comphet you’re experiencing, and it actually means you’re a lesbian,” “You can’t be more attracted to one gender and be bi, that’s not how it works.”
What is going on? How can we accept that sexuality is a spectrum while also convincing each other that sexuality can boil down to a single word? Exploring your sexuality doesn’t invalidate your queerness – in fact, it’s important for personal growth and understanding yourself! While there is a constant urge to define your queerness for the comfort of everyone else, it’s time to start thinking about your comfort.
Labels can be helpful terms to define one’s identity, but not when they’re being forced upon you by others. According to a Business Insider and YouGov poll from July, more than 26 percent of Gen Zers polled said their sexual identity was “something other than straight.” Your queerness doesn’t have to have a name just yet or at all! It’s important to remember that only you define your queerness, no one else does.
It should be noted that there is no sexual act that can prove, disprove, or define your sexuality. For example, a person can work
many different jobs throughout their life, but they don’t have to define their career. If you work as a waiter, are you a waiter forever? You could be, but you don’t have to be. If you have a queer hookup experience, are you queer forever? You could be, but you don’t have to be.
Exploration of your sexuality can be a beautiful thing. In a society where desire, especially queer desire, is seen as taboo, it can be a radical act. Whether it helps you decide if you’re queer or not, it can lead to you understanding your identity more, even if it’s just by a small amount. Love who you love and feel what you feel, it is your life to live.
At the end of the day, we sadly live in a restrictive society that wants to put people in boxes. While queerness is starting to be more accepted, it is turning into yet another way to categorize people. The human experience is about exploration, adventure, and change. Life is too intricate to decide exactly what you are and expect yourself to stay that way forever.
You are a complex individual. Don’t feel like you have to simplify yourself or water yourself down in any way to be valid. Queer or not, you are a person filled with love. That alone is valid enough.
It’s Finally Sunny In Philadelphia
By Iona ClarkWith the temperatures rising, longer and brighter days, and people getting outside again, it is crucial that we break the “seasonal depression” cycle and emerge back into our best selves.While ending your hibernation is easier said than done, Refine is here to help you with a few tips and tricks.
1. Get walking! Walking is one of the easiest ways to get out of the house and get exercise, which is ten times better when the weather is nice and the sun is out. If walking for pleasure isn’t your thing, trying setting a goal like walking to try a new coffee shop.Going for walks not only forces you to get up and out of bed, but exercise is a keycomponent to breaking that winter depression that almost all of us experience. Moving the body and getting blood pumping improves mood and increases vitamin D intake as well.
2. Set a goal to go somewhere new (outside of course) once a week. This could be anything from a park to taking a new route to class. Anya Frazier, a sophomore ecology major, says that after visiting Fairmount Park, it is now her favorite spot to go once temperatures rise and people are out and about. Exploring new scenes is a key aspect to romanticizing your life this summer season; it can be difficult to feel revived and new when your setting has been the same all winter!
3. Set a new routine. It’s easy to feel stuck if your routine has been the same the whole winter season, so refresh it once the seasons change! For example, setting your alarm a half hour earlier could allow you
to explore more breakfast food options or give you more time to dedicate to a selfcare regimen. Changing up your routine is a great way to renew your daily life and make it feel different than the long winter months that came before. Incorporating time spent outside is also crucial with the weather heating up, so try to get outside after a long day of work or classes. Even just sitting outside for a few minutes after a long day is an easy way to change things up while taking advantage of the warm weather.
4. Pick up a new hobby or interest. It’s easy to slip into a rhythm of watching Netflix and scrolling through TikTok for endless hours when the weather is unfavorable, but once temperatures rise again, it can feel easier to get interested in something new. From collecting rocks to outdoor sports like frisbee or volleyball, the summer season holds much potential for new hobbies or interests.
Go Piss Girl
By: Amna FaheemSex. We all know about it. Some of us have it; some don’t. But almost everyone is concerned with safe and healthy sex practices.
There are a lot of myths and misconceptions surrounding the reality of sex. According to some, you can’t get pregnant on your period, but you might if you sit in a hot tub with a man. Too many sexually active people are under the impression that the pull-out method is a sure way to prevent pregnancy and that douches are good for cleaning your vagina (which is incorrect; they are extremely unhealthy for you, according to the National Institute of Health).
Though we may have all learned slightly different things as teens in our health class and from inexperienced friends, peeing after sex is one of the most common understandings women have. It’s been told to us since the topic of sex was first introduced that after sex, you go to the bathroom and rinse yourself out. That way, you’ll save yourself from pregnancy and STDs. While peeing after sex does have advantages, those are not one of them.
Planned Parenthood reported that peeing before and after sex is one of the most reliable ways — though not guaranteed — to clean your vagina of the bacteria it comes in contact with during sex. While not all sex exposes the vaginal area to bacteria, penetrative and some methods of oral sex do, so it is important to ensure that you are being clean and safe. Sex introduces a lot of foreign germs to your sensitive areas that your body is not used to. Visiting the bathroom when the deed is done is a way to clean yourself from and fend off infections like UTIs.
UTIs, or urinary tract infections, occur when bacteria move around the genital area and infect the urethra. It is not unusual to get a UTI after sex because of how close the vagina is to the urethra. Add in an increase of bacteria from sex, and your chances of getting a UTI go up if you don’t properly take care of yourself. Peeing after sex helps flush out the unwanted bacteria in your body. According to Women’s Health Specialists in California, the acid in the body’s urine is essential to preventing and decreasing
the growth of bacteria in the genital area. During urination, the acid is strong enough to kill most bacteria in the area, reducing the likelihood of getting a UTI.
Peeing after sex might not make a big difference to everyone. Ob/Gyn Salena Zanotti reported that research has not yet proven that using the toilet after sex reduces the risk of getting a UTI, but the act still makes many women feel better. The act of peeing washes away much of the fluids and germs lurking in the genital area, and is more beneficial for women as the vagina and urethra are very close together. While it might not be a 100 percent proven technique, it is still a very helpful routine to have.
Peeing after sex does not flush out sperm and should not be considered a form of birth control. It also does not decrease the chances of getting an STI or STD, as reported by Medical News Today. Peeing after sex is just one of many ways you should be making sure you’re practicing safe and healthy sex and taking care of yourself and your body!
Learning To Let Go
By Nathaly SuquinaguaMoving on is something I have always struggled with. Bad memories are a chip on my shoulder that never gets taken off. I just can’t seem to move on from things that have happened. I still think about conflicts that happened in high school and how much it affected me at the time.
For example, one time I had to miss one of my best friend’s sweet 16 party to visit family in Ecuador. She got super upset and didn’t speak to me for months. I still think about it.
But this year I plan on letting go of everything that doesn’t matter anymore.
In “The Vampire Diaries,” there’s this scene where the main character turns off her humanity, shutting out all the things that she cared about and anything that made her human. I often reflect on this when it comes to the idea of letting go. Of course, I don’t mean shutting down emotions and resorting to violence like in the show. Instead, it serves as a metaphor for letting go of things that don’t matter anymore.
When I’m in my thoughts or right before I go to bed, I always start spiraling and reminiscing about all of the things that have happened in the past and get upset by them. I start thinking about one event and then ask myself, if it hadn’t occurred, what in my life would have changed?
Especially this year, I’ve had to get out of my own head a lot and realize that things that do not matter should be let go. Fights with friends, breakups, and things we don’t need to think about should be let go. Why get upset when it doesn’t matter anymore?
I like to think of the quote, “Everything happens for a reason.” Who knows what will happen in the future? Letting things run their course can help you not dwell on the past and make up fix-it scenarios in your head. The universe has a way of working where, in the end, everything will be in your favor. The only person being affected by holding on to the past is you, and only you can change that.
When I see ex-friends or ex-boyfriends who seem unaffected, I think to myself, “Why should you be the only one affected by it?”
When I get stuck in my head, I like to be productive and keep moving. On those days, when you just think and think about the past and how things turned out, I like to book a hot yoga class and meditate or even watch one of my favorite shows. I watch reality TV, text my best friends, and even call home if I ever need to get out of my head.
Being busy has helped me let go and not think about what could or should have been. Yes, letting go is easier said than done. But, in my experience, time heals everything. I promise that once you become productive and start doing things you love, you will eventually let go of past troubles and become a renewed person.
Third Places
By: Amna FaheemCollege students can easily fall into the home-class-work cycle. We lose ourselves to the grind, to the seemingly neverending pressures and responsibilities. Constant assignments, projects, papers, and exams take over our minds. We forget that we are people outside of being students and that we have lives outside of completing weekly homework. The continuous loop of school and home is gloomy. But living in a city like Philadelphia has a lot of perks – and we should take advantage of them!
In the 1980s, sociologist Ray Oldenburg coined the term “third places.” A third place is a separate location from where you live or work in which you are able to relax and exist outside of your responsibilities. They can help you meet new people and see new things that you wouldn’t normally be exposed to in your daily routine.
Philly is booming with charming coffee shops, workspaces, and activities to do. Lombard Cafe, located on Lombard Street, is a warm and cozy small business with fresh pastries, sandwiches, and unique coffee flavors. The Palestinian Cafe has lots of seating and natural light. It is dog-friendly and has an overall calm environment to work or chit-chat with your friends. There are many small businesses to support, hidden in the crevices of the city, waiting to be discovered. Fiore Fine Foods, an Italian restaurant and cafe serves traditional Italian pastries, gelato, and tasty sandwiches, and is a wonderful place to visit. Fiore, situated on Frankford Avenue, is inviting with its calming interior design and soothing Italian energy.
The Italian Market in South Philly is another great spot. While it is open during the week, the market is most lively and busy during the weekends. On Ninth Street, the market has fresh fruits, vegetables, pasta, meats, and sweets at affordable prices from kind vendors. It’s important to note that most vendors only take cash, but some stands take cards, Venmo, Apple Pay, and even EBT. Ninth Street is full of small mom-and-pop
restaurants and shops selling various things. Thrift stores, bakeries, coffee stores, antique stores, and butcher shops are but a handful of the establishments located there.
Unfortunately, many of the places in Philly are not free. It’s hard to go out without spending money. Going to happy hour, trying new restaurants, or visiting new cafes and workspaces all cost money that some people do not have. Parks are becoming rarer and smaller, and in winter months, it seems that you cannot simply go out somewhere without spending ten dollars on a drink and a small snack. People associate having a good time with going out, but there are still a few corners of the city that don’t require your wallet.
Going to Rittenhouse Park with a book can be a nice break from the bustling campus and an opportunity to recharge and touch some grass. Washington Square, near Locust Street, has many benches and is walkable from the Walnut-Locust subway station. The square is in Old City, near Independence Square and the Liberty Bell, and offers a beautiful green open space. Franklin Square, a 15-minute walk from the Race-Vine subway station, also has a lot to offer. The fountain in the middle of the square lights up in beautiful colors, and the carousel is open at night, offering a wonderful experience to all. The square also puts on a show and lights for the Chinese Lantern Festival, a must-see.
Third places, while they are slowly becoming less affordable, are still very much alive. Philly has a lot to offer, you just need to know where to look. The art museum has free entrances for students on certain days and West Philly has an abundance of Middle Eastern restaurants. Exploring a new place every week or so can break you out of a distressing cycle and add excitement and fresh experiences to look forward to. Life should not be monotonous, restricted only to the confines of Temple’s campus and your apartment. A third place can be a relaxing and fun way to step out of the stresses of student life.
A Breath Of Fresh Hair
By Alana BeltranWhile many people claim to have had their style since birth, I never was able to find mine as easily. From emo, and preppy to grunge, it felt like I had tried it all. The social influence of others did not make it much easier. Trying to understand what I liked took a long time but it became easier to start finding myself once I got to late high school and early college.
“The change” started two days after my high school graduation. I decided to cut off all my hair. My mother watched with fear as my long, curly black hair fell to the floor and my hairdresser’s blade chopped it off.
“Wow.” She expressed in utter disbelief. “I can’t believe you actually did it.”
But it didn’t stop just there. Soon after, I became determined to really find how I wanted to look. I began thrifting all my clothes. No more American Eagle, Aeropostale, or Brandy Melville for me! I was a changed woman, coming into university life. Looking back on it, I still think “the change” was good, and I live with no regret. I began to make friends quickly in university, mostly people with styles I admired (and mostly kids from the art school, they always had the coolest styles!). My new friends encouraged the change and pushed me to find myself. I found inspiration in them, and how they were able to express themselves in their style.
It didn’t stop with just the hair or clothes. Next, I decided to get my nose pierced. This was something I knew my mother would hate, but I had been weighing the pros and cons for a long time, and by the end of it, there were more pros. Sometime over winter break in my freshman year of college, I did it. My best friend and I went to a shop in our hometown, and for $70 plus tip, I was again, a changed woman.
Whoever said that once you get a piercing you immediately want to get more was absolutely correct. Just a few months later, I was turning 19 and getting my septum pierced. Now, I know in my journalistic field many news outlets would not appreciate my alternative style. But getting something I can take out a year from now with no consequences and still be able to look cool is totally worth it. So, I did it. And I still have no regrets.
When I look at my driver’s license I got at 16, I see a lot of change. But I also feel bad for the person in that photo. She was scared to try new things, scared to live freely and she feared what people would say about her. From time to time, it is hard but this “change” was inevitable. I try to live with no regrets and encourage everyone to experience big changes and selfdiscovery in their own lives. Coming into your change is really about finding the confidence in yourself to blossom into the person you always wanted to be.
How Studying Abroad Helped me Bloom as a Person
By Katie LeisBeing able to take a semester abroad in Rome, Italy has been one of the only things I could think about since starting college two years ago. Now that I finally get the opportunity to live out my dream, I have come to realize that this is something that has shaped the way I am as a person. Taking the risk and moving to a foreign country into an apartment with six random people is one of the many challenges that I was faced with. The culture shock of being in a new place with nobody you know is something that everybody has had to come to terms with, some easier than others. After realizing that many of the other students who are in the program came abroad with their established groups of friends, it seemed impossible to find people who genuinely want to be your friend. Realizing how many people there were who were not interested in making new friends was something that was hard for me to wrap my head around.
Why would anyone be so reluctant to make new friends? However, this made me learn that the friends you make along the way are much more genuine, real and life long. I’ve learned that being yourself is what is most successful when you are thrown into a new environment. With a positive attitude and outlook, everything will fall into place over time. You will make new friends, find somebody who has similar travel ideas as you, somebody who would also want to walk to the Trevi Fountain and get gelato at midnight.
A new wave of independence came along during this journey as well. Taking the day to walk around the city and explore on my own has become my favorite. Solo dates at a different cafe over time has become a new weekly tradition. Prior to coming here I have always felt anxious going out to eat alone. Talking to strangers was something I tended to avoid. But now I can do that. Some of the cafe workers now know me by name, and I can hold a conversation with them in their native language. I have a new wave of self confidence that I have never felt before. And although I love being independent, I have learned that there are instances where it is okay to be dependent on others. Planning trips can be overwhelming, and even though I love planning things for me and my friends, it is okay to depend on them to find activities, restaurants or plane tickets.
Learning these kinds of boundaries have strengthened my relationships, new and old. When being thousands of miles away from everyone who you are familiar and comfortable with it becomes harder to navigate those relationships. Navigating the time zones and finding good times to talk to everyone from back home is difficult. When catching up with friends and family it becomes more meaningful, more exciting to hear the small day to day updates in their lives. Knowing that I am able to maintain relationships while being on the opposite side of the world is reassuring. Even with the new friends that I have made here, I’ve learned that it’s okay not to spend every single moment with them. Being able to experience things on your own changes the overall experience in numerous ways. Even making that clear with my friends has been a great turning point in our relationship and has made the times where we are together so much better.
There have been many moments that made me fall in love with life again. From dancing to a street performer with my friends at the Duomo in Milan, to laying on the beach in Lisbon with a pina colada in hand. I’ve become more appreciative of the small moments. The peaceful early morning coffee trips with my friend before class, or the roommate dinners at our favorite Greek place. I feel grateful to live through an incredible experience that not only shaped me as a person but altered the way I look at life.
Connect with Temple’s Resources
By: Giovanna CicaleseAs a graduating senior, I feel like I’ve neglected a lot of Temple’s resources. Whether that’s because I was busy or didn’t know about them, I feel like I missed opportunities for improvement. So, in an effort to highlight them, I’d like to offer a guide to campus resources and using them to better your college experience.
Starting with food, Temple University offers options for students facing food scarcity. The Cherry Pantry, located at the Howard Gittis Student Center in room 224A, is where students can take what they need. There are also food banks around campus like the Norris Home Food Pantry (1915 N. 11th Street), the Bebashi Food First Pantry (1235 Spring Garden Street), and the Mazzoni Center Food Bank (1348 Bainbridge Street).
Taking care of your physical needs is crucial in college. This is a lot of students’ first times living alone, and listening to your body takes time to learn. Temple’s resources are here to make your life easier and improve the quality of your college experience.
Temple University provides health services for their students’ physical and mental wellbeing. Student Health Services is on 1700 N. Broad Street. They offer physical exams, dental care, as well as flu and allergy shots. For small issues, the Self Care Center has medications for pain or fever, decongestants, bandages, and more. Caring for yourself and diagnosing yourself are two separate situations, so please make an appointment when necessary.
Student Health Services doubles as a sexual health center. They provide STD and HIV testing for students as well as pregnancy testing, gynecology exams, and contraception. Students can access free condoms at the Wellness Resource Center. The morning-after pill, oral contraceptive pills, NuvaRings, and Depo-Provera injections are available at the Student Health Services center as well.
Temple also has connections for reporting sexual assault. Student Health Services can provide STD testing and emergency contraception but are unable to perform forensic examinations like a rape kit. They can put you in contact with resources like the Philadelphia Sexual Response Center and WOAR Philadelphia Center Against Sexual Violence for further medical assistance. Tuttleman Counseling Services is also staffed to help in situations of assault as well.
It’s also important to take care of your mental health. Tuttleman Counseling Services, located at 1700 N. Broad Street, provides resources such as individual counseling, group therapy, a Crisis Response team, mental health screenings, and psychiatric services. They also offer self-guided tools for students who can’t attend groups and classes. Their apps Togetherall and Welltrack help manage and track symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Personally, I’ve started going to individual therapy sessions at the Tuttleman Counseling Center and just the initial sessions are extremely helpful in talking out overwhelming feelings and taking stock of what can cause those. Students are stressed out all of the time and these resources are there to lighten that load. I’ve been looking at therapy as an investment in myself and as a way to make sure I’m feeling the best I can whether that be academically or personally.
The good news is Temple’s resources are still available after graduation. The Career Center offers a range of services to help secure success professionally in addition to your academics. In an interview with Associate Director of Career Development, Robert McMahon, only about 500 students have been to the career center in the first quarter of this year. Compared to Temple’s 37,236 student body, this is a small percentage of students who are utilizing the career center.
“Whether it’s finding an internship, a career, or applying to graduate school, everyone who works at the University Career Center is squarely focused on helping students get to that next step. Students can take advantage of this resource year-round and know that we are here to help you succeed,” said McMahon.
The Career Center hosts alumni panels, networking events, and individual counseling sessions in an effort to help students review resumes, practice interview skills, and gain insight on carrying themselves in the professional world.
McMahon said the Career Nests and individual counseling sessions are the most underutilized by students. The Career Nests are “spaces that students can book for two hours at a time for say a zoom interview and they don’t want to be distracted. They have a nice clean background, solid internet connection, and their roommate isn’t there to bother them. Those are great spaces that are free, you can book them on Handshake and show up when you need it.” said McMahon
As for the benefits of individual counseling, McMahon said, “showing up for an interview without any prep or practice can be really detrimental. We get feedback from students that have met with us and they come back and say how much more relaxed, prepared, and ready to go they felt and I wish more students would connect with us for that.”
This is your sign that Temple is here to help you succeed on all personal and professional fronts. Make use of what’s in front of you and reach out to those around you. It’s never too late to invest in yourself.