Modelled by Hannah Goldstein | Photographed by Chloe Calamaro
2 The Indulgence Issue
Behind the Cover... 4 Masthead... 6 Who We Are... 7 Editor’s Note... 8 Rebekah’s Edit... 9 Staff Spotlight... 10
MAIN CAMPUS Intro... 38 Roots... 40 Travel Tendencies... 42 Seven Deadly Sins Photoshoot... 43
THE MINE Guilty pleasures... 13 Finding Joy in Resistance... 14 Doom scrolling... 16 Gaslight, Gatekeep, Anti-Girlboss... 18 Re-ups... 20 Gen Z’s Brand Obsession... 21 Scent Shopping... 22 Indulgence Cover Shoot... 24 Diagnosed by WEBmd... 30 Pro-laziness... 32 Sluts Unite... 34 Hello, You... 35 Orgasm Gap... 36
IN THIS ISSUE
FRONT-OF-BOOK
BEHIND THE COVER
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Photographed at the Wyck Historic House and Garden by Art Director Haley Domzalski, the Indulgence issue cover shoot was inspired by baroque artwork and life in the French countryside— of course, with our own spin. Model Gianna Kimmell wore a structured corset over
atmosphere as she posed with fruit and bubbles.
A simple life can be indulgent, too. Facilitated and photographed by Haley Domzalski and Dané Simms Modelled by Gianna Kimmell for behind the scenes footage of the cover shoot.
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EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Rebekah Harding FOUNDER Sarah Madaus MANAGING EDITOR Samantha Roehl SENIOR EDITOR Raven Lawson | EDITORIAL | FEATURES EDITOR Jordan Manson FASHION EDITOR Molly Reinhard LOVE EDITOR Bryanna Santos HEALTH EDITOR Kendra Franklin CULTURE EDITOR Mya McKeown FOB/BOB EDITOR Camillia Benjamin DIGITAL EDITOR Laila Samphilipo COPY EDITOR Lydia Davidheiser | VISUALS | DESIGN EDITOR Nicole Hwang ASSISTANT MAG DESIGN EDITOR Juliana DiCesare ASSISTANT WEB DESIGN EDITOR Sophie Powell ART DIRECTOR Haley Domzalski FASHION DIRECTOR Dané Simms | SOCIAL MEDIA | SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR Tonja Butler ASSISTANT SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR Clare Sykes
A special thanks to our staff writers and editorial, digital, and visuals contributors.
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WHO WE ARE MISSION STATEMENT
fresh perspective on campus life: the fashion statements, culture, music trends, health habits, and love lives that the Temple community possesses, all in one beautifully packaged issue. Our goal is to provide great service to our readers, so that they can navigate through the trenches of
REFINE mimics the voice of the reader’s BFF: We love you, but we have no qualms about giving it to you straight.
EDITOR’S NOTE Towards the end of the 2019 spring semester, I walked into the launch party for REFINE’s second issue at the rowhome of one of the inaugural executive staff members. Earlier that semester, I emailed Sarah Madaus, our founder, to ask if I could join their growing team of staff writers and send over a couple of poorly written articles I had thrown together during my brief career as an opinion blogger in high school (but we don’t talk about that now). Astonishingly, I was welcomed onto the team and was overjoyed at the chance to celebrate my first published magazine clip alongside the rest of the team. As an anxious freshman, I was terrified of making a bad first impression— so naturally, I made myself look completely stupid. Donning business casual with a bright pink blazer to my first ever college party, I walked up to the host to ask if I could have a mimosa even though I was “only 18 years old.” Seriously, who does that? Lucky for me, Sarah Madaus and, later, the incoming editor-in-chief, Francesca Furey, looked past my awkwardness and instead saw my unbridled sincerity and overenthusiastic commitment to REFINE’s mission, which landed me in my first editor position the following school year. If you had told me at that party that in 2020 we would be in the middle of a global pandemic AND I would have been asked to lead the REFINE team for the next two years, I wouldn’t have believed you. While I can only hope that even more glorious projects and accomplishments are to come, I can say now with the upmost sincerity that leading this team for the past two years has been the privilege and joy of my career. But now it’s time for me to hand REFINE over to another sincere and enthusiastic freshman that joined our team my first year as EIC, one who once reminded me so much of myself that day at the launch party and who I’ve watched grow over the past two years into a talented and incomparable editor, writer, and friend: Samantha Roehl. I can’t wait to see how she continues to develop REFINE and I know you’ll love her as much as I do. Until next time. Cheers, Rebekah
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photography by Haley Domzalski
REBEKAH’S Not-SO GUILTY PLEASURES / SECURE CHECKOUT
Trader Joe’s | Cinna-Dragons Gummy Candy I honestly couldn’t tell you how many bags of these cinnamon gummies I’ve gone through this year. I’m trying to be kind to myself about snacking (although my wallet would encourage a different route of self-soothing) and these are my go-to.
IKEA | UPPLYST LED wall lamp, cloud white Since I was out of the country last fall, I sublet an apartment for just one decor, I couldn’t resist these cloud lights from the kids’ department at IKEA.
ULTA | OLAPLEX No 3 HAIR PERFECTOR Yes, yes. I’ve heard the Olaplex contraversy, but this girl is hooked! My friends can vouch that everytime I go through any minor crisis the hair dye comes out, so this hair treatment is a must for me.
Target | Jasmine and ylang ylang room spray One thing I simply cannot accept is a musty room, and this room spray from
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NEW FACES
RH: Do you have any cool collections? Did you collect anything as a kid?
RH: Where’s your favorite place to window shop? (online or in-person)
SR: You know those touristy machines that press designs into coins? I keep quarters and shiny pennies in my wallet in case I come across one. I have a bunch from zoos, aquariums, theme parks, even one from when I was in Amsterdam! I also collect playbills from shows I’ve seen as well as depression glass.
SR: I love going to bookstores. I am an absolute menace, to be fair, but I love it. If you go to a bookstore with me, expect a running commentary about which books I’ve read, which ones are on my tbr (to-be-read) list, books that amazed me, books that disappointed me, and any publishing drama I’ve heard on Twitter.
RL: I collected rocks as a kid, don’t ask me why, but I had little pouches full of rocks I got from different places I visited. Now, I have a bit of a t-shirt collection going. Every time I go someplace new, I have to get a graphic tee, it’s just an impulse now. You don’t even wanna know how many college shirts I have.
RL: I would have to say TJ-Maxx or Nordstrom Rack. I feel like those stores have so many hidden gems and I love hanging out in the skincare and shoe aisles. Even if I’m not buying anything, it’s fun to imagine some alternate timeline in which I would need a collagen/retinol, anti-aging, pore-erasing magic serum. Lately, I’ve also been really into browsing online optical stores because as someone whose worn glasses since the fourth grade, I’m always looking for cute frames.
RH: Picture your perfect, lazy day inside. What are you doing? SR: It’s raining and I can hear it patter on the roof. That’s probably the most important aspect of a lazy day for me. The occasional thunder strike is also crucial for ambiance. A pile of blankets, even if it’s the middle of summer. Then I’d make myself a hot chocolate, turn on my music, and read a (hopefully good) book.
noon; sleeping-in is number one on the list. My ideal lazy day would take place while there’s a storm going on outside, rain hitting the windows, maybe some thunder. Lazy days just feel more anyways. Then, I’m parking my butt on the couch and binging some show I’ve already watched a thousand times like Criminal Minds or Game of Thrones. RH: The two of you are taking over REFINE next year. What are you most excited for? Any changes or developments you are looking forward to making?
up our online presence — social media, the website, that whole thing. I would also love more in-person meetings and hang-outs! RL: Gosh, I’m kinda feeling the pressure already. I’m always
also be nice to (hopefully) run the magazine more in-person and get to meet everyone face-to-face. I’d love to see our engagebring people to the “dark side” that is magazine writing.
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RH: Pick one of the seven deadly sins— which is the most fun to indulge in? SR: I’m going to go with gluttony. I’m the kind of person who saves pretty stickers and nice stationary for the perfect time or an important occasion. I’ve been working on allowing myself nice things for no reason other than wanting them. Yeah, overindulging shouldn’t be your go-to. But every now and then you need a spa day just for the hell of it.
up sometimes. I put in a lot of work, so hell yea I’m going to take pride in it. Plus, I learned from a good friend not to think of it as being prideful or vain, but
“Hopefully, we can find some ways to bring people to the ‘dark side’ that is magazine writing.”
S OF REFINE Editor-in-Chief Rebekah Harding chats with incoming EIC Samantha Roehl and Managing Editor Raven Lawson about guilty pleasures and what’s next for REFINE in this issue’s staff spotlight.
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THE MINE CULTURE | FASHION | HEALTH | LOVE
What does
GUILTY PLEASURE look like to you? By Rayma Abdallah Guilt is a negative feeling that can only be described by the person feeling it. Pleasure, on the other hand, usually carries a positive connotation. How can those two antonyms be used to describe the same thing? How do considering the vast perspectives that exist on the matter. I took this question to my trusty Instagram story and let the people speak for themselves. The answers I received were rather interesting, and ranged from topics such as music to hobbies. Some of them were even things I enjoy that I never considered being guilty about, but their explanations really made me think. Stand up comedy specials, rewatching Keeping up With the Kardashians, throwback music, TikTok, Youtube rabbit holes, Taylor Swift, Glee, dating tv shows, rewatching the same shows over and over again, alcohol, crime shows/documentaries… the list goes on. These are just a few responses that my Instagram questionnaire revealed. I asked each person to elaborate on their response in order to really decipher why they would feel that way about something they clearly enjoy. Rob Pilarski, sophomore at Temple University, discussed his guilt around falling down youtube rabbit holes.
if you Bulong said. may be all too familiar. Country music is often equated to being weird, having no taste, and sometimes even racism. Even the criticism from your close friends can be enough to hide that part of your identity. Taylor Woolford, a sophomore at Temple, admitted to liking white rappers. Namely, she enjoys listening to Ghostemane and Lil Darkie. Never hearing of this artist, why she feels guilty about it. Lil Darkie, on the other
Having to separate the art from the artist is a discussion that is rather prevalent as allegations are being made against famous people all of the time. Obviously not being Black and saying the n word is always wrong, and this example just speaks to the fact that some people people are willing to admit that they like. Even though no
This guilt is valid, because he is not guilty about the is wasting precious time. This speaks to the importance we, as humans, put on productivity. Exchanging work for pleasure at times does not have to be a bad thing, but humans are conditioned to constantly compromise. Another sophomore here at Temple University, Michael Bulong, came clean about his appreciation of country music.
ostracized, even just for a short period of time, causes good thing if the guilty pleasure could put someone in harm. If not though, nobody should be ashamed of what never apologize for it.
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Q&A
with Isabella Segalovich
Managing Editor Samantha Roehl spoke with Isabella Segalovich (@interstellar_isabellar on TikTok) about architecture, fascism, folk art, and the importance of ornament.
Q: Can you tell me a little bit about yourself and how you started on TikTok?
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from @interstellar_isabellar on TikTok
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When Your Mental Break Turns In
By Laila Samphilipo Generally, we curate our social media to show us the things we love most: friends, family, even cute animals. And, sometimes, we curate our social media to keep us informed on the latest news. News that can quickly send us spiraling into the doom scrolling pipeline.
information. With a simple swipe down to refresh, we
about a real-time catastrophe. How awful, you think. So you click on it. You read the caption. You click on the
myself on one article wanting to click on others to make
Instagram posts about a literal catastrophe. You scan the posts obsessively, constantly refreshing for updates. An
Considering how easy it is to get sucked into the doom scrolling pipeline, it seems impossible to avoid. But,
experience updates in live time. accounts, and you can see the opinions of really credible
ing posts and are left anxiety-ridden. Welcome to the doom scrolling pipeline. To be informed means you will encounter some bad to be clear—consuming a little bad news every now and then seems harmless; obsessively refreshing your Twitter feed to delve deeper into devastating, tragic news, is not. Especially when your mental health is on the line. Junior Temple University psychology student, Selma Ganic, is one of many people who have experienced this phenomenon.
persistent bad habit that weighs on your mental health. When it comes to doom scrolling, setting boundaries key. Tauheedah Shukriyyah Asad, a Mental Health PhD candidate at Temple University, reiterates this sentiment. Having studied various aspects of media extensively, she shares there are many ways to lessen the stressful, being informed and understanding what our limitations
depressing political news about the 2020 election to try
Asad. over and over, and you already have gotten that informa-
simple answer—we crave control. In a world full of awful and unpredictable occurrences, it seems only natural for our anxiety-ridden generation to try to establish a sense of control via gathering
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Sometimes, we accidentally or unintentionally consume triggering content. We may stumble on graphic images or absentmindedly read paragraphs of negativity.
nto A Mental B r e a k d
o
w
n
to restrict what you see, or limit your screen exposure. Also, balancing negative with positive, solution-oriented content can help counteract the fatalistic feeling of consuming bad news. Asad also shared a reminder for us younger generadated with information at a frequency that has never hap-
Just like most things, moderation is key. There are social media can be an incredibly fun, empowering, and
doom scrolling phenomenon, explored.
Doom scrolling • [doom-skroh-ling] verb The tendency to continue to surf or scroll through bad news, even though that news is saddening, disheartening, or depressing.
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GASLIGHT GATEKEEP
ANTI GIRL BOSS The decline of “hustle” culture
By Cy Bergado Temple students are likely familiar with: burnout.
In 2014, Sophia Amoruso, the founder of the popular
ays Janie Egan, Mental Well—Being Program Coordinator at the Wellness Resource Center. Egan continued by saying that although burnout is not technically a diagnosable condition, it is something that many people report experiencing—espeagainst male-dominated workplaces, maybe the movement cially in our current circumstances of a pandemic, massive actually does more harm than good. While the essence of the Girlboss movement is female world. empowerment, the concept comes with many complications and nuances. Ellie Nielson, a junior gender, sexuality changes we, as students, can make to mitigate burnout. To do so, Girlboss movement. we must begin by acknowledging that burnout has a Nielson believes the Girlboss movement harmfully situational component. perpetuates hustle culture, and that both hustle culture and the Girlboss movement are heavily related to our capitalist and patriarchal society. for many people means changing something about the circumstances contributing to it. For college students, feel like the only way we are succeeding or the only way maybe this means being involved in fewer extracurricular to succeed is to push ourselves beyond our capacity, then activities or taking fewer classes to decrease the demands
Nielson goes on to emphasize the links between capitalism, patriarchy and the Girlboss movement. of us as individuals, there are still ways to proactively manage our responsibilities. To take care of ourselves and order for our lives to have worth or meaning, and paour mental health, individuals may also consider how to triarchy pushes the idea that we must all assimilate to a prioritize well-being through daily routines. Egan advises white-hetero—cis—male mainstream culture or way of helpful place to start thinking about how daily behaviors can support overall wellness. push the idea that feminism looks like assimilating into the oppressive systems and structures that other feminist way of living is harmful. -
Students are also reminded that they are always welcome to seek additional support. Students can access free and
opment & community engagement major Maya Branch, when asked about hustle culture. Branch continues by Counseling Services. suggesting that people who promote hustle culture are Despite this cut-throat society trying to form us into actually deluding themselves by believing in an unsustainable society. at capacity, there are measures we can take to make sure we are still taking care of ourselves. After all, when we says Branch. take care of ourselves, we can take care of everything else The consequences of hustle culture are something many around us.
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Re-Ups of
Old Designs
They’re back! 2000s’ pieces are back and ready to make yet another bold statement, but now have a modern twist to them.
is it worth indulging, or should you dig out the OGs?
By Joey Lomorticello
All that fashion followers keep thinking to themselves is, “Why did I get rid of that top all those years ago? If I knew that it would have been back in style I would’ve saved it!” or “I had Uggs similar to those, but I didn’t think that they would ever be trendy again.” stagram, Pinterest, and Twitter feeds, people can’t help but notice the pieces that these fashionistas are wearing. From Juicy Couture sweatsuits to Uggs, and even Birkenstock clogs, these are the styles that late ‘90s and 2000s babies wore during their childhood that have found their way back onto clothing racks. The major difference is that these pieces have a bit of a Gen Alpha twist, and not so much an exact replica of Gen Z. One thing that has to be set straight is that yes, Uggs are back, but not the ones that were worn in 7th grade. The purple Bailey Bow Uggs that once determined just how cool you were in middle school are not the Uggs that people are walking down the street in now. The comeback of the 2000s look is much different today. Fashion followers seem to be wearing more neutral-colored shoes for an everyday look, unlike the silver sequin Uggs that were paired with every single It’s not even just popular shoes that have made their their way back into people’s lives. However, these jeans can now be purchased in any rise that someone desires, unlike Gen Z, who was stuck with either low or midrise.
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Jonaira South from Temple’s Fashion and Business Club love when trends from old eras like wide-legged pants or baseball caps/trucker hats and even new balances.” Having to splurge on a piece similar to something that once had a place in your closet is one of the most painful feelings. Even though the pieces look like what was worn Kendra Franklin, a junior at Temple said, “If I outgrow my clothes or don’t like them anymore, then I end up splurging on new stuff most of the time.” Being trendy can be pricey, but a lot of the wanted 2000s pieces can be found at thrift stores or secondhand shops like Depop for a much cheaper price. But it’s also important to remember to treat yourself and splurge on that
Gen Z’s Brand Obsession What is it about our generation that puts so much weight on indulgent fashion and name brands? By Evelyn Foster Nike’s latest restock of their famous Dunk low’s was numbered at a whopping 250k pairs in women’s, men’s, and little kid’s sizes. These sneakers sold out in minutes, leaving many hopeful buyers empty-handed. They’re just shoes right? So why this pair? Why Nike? What’s the hype? But these questions do not just apply to Nike Dunk’s but to all designer and brand name items that sell out in minutes. Do we have an obsession with brand-name items? I asked students on Temple University’s Campus the burning question. Why do you buy brand names? “It makes me feel cool and like I will be accepted by society,” said sophomore student Lourdes Asiddao. She then laughed, “I feel more relevant and cool in branded clothes.” Another sophomore student, Rithika Pillai, claimed that “Different brands have different aesthetics and you can easily switch between them every day.” A third student, Milani Walker, pointed out that “Brand Other student statements expressed interest in name brands for their dependability, higher quality, body types they cater to, focus on sustainability, and fair work policies. The brand name obsession continues with websites like two months, eight items of designer brand clothing with a value of up to $3500 can be rented for as long as the buyer desires. Items from Rent the Runway can be returned or purchased by members. “Designer styles without designer prices,” is a phrase used by the company to persuade prospective customers that luxury prices do not always require a hefty price tag. This can give RTR monthly
frequent their social media “explore pages.” Gen Z shops strategically with common closet items being thrifted or brand name. This generation seems to buy clothes that are already offered at a low price or buy expensive clothing in hopes that it is a quality product that has longevity. This is where the love of brand names comes in. When a product from a store from Walmart or Target is deemed trendy, of good quality, or particularly inexpensive compared to other stores by social media users, it sells out in stores and online. This causes a high level of commotion because the pieces are from somewhere as accessible as these everyday retailers. Brands may base themselves entirely on an aesthetic. Fashion Nova is an example of this. The brand often collaborates with female rappers like Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion and is tagged by social media as “BBL Fashion.” The clothing consists of club dresses, jeans, bodysuits, and leisurewear. Another brand that bases itself on an aesthetic is Parade. Parade prides itself on being unique, unorthodox, inclusive, and sustainable. They also give back to non-profits—often those supporting women’s wellness, BIPOC communities, and LGBTQIA organizations. They and view sexiness as multi-dimensional in comparison to typical lingerie stores. This may go back to what Temple student Rithika was referring to by using different brands to feel a different aesthetics. Brands like Parade make what they stand for one of the main focuses of their brand. This may also tempt customers to become brand loyal or brand obsessed because they see the brand as an extension of their own values and beliefs. I turn the question to you: are you brand obsessed?
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Scent Shopping A guide to finding your signature fragrance. By Raven Lawson
Know the four categories woody, and fresh. “One of these will appeal to you more than others,” says Guy. These general categories are the dominant bases on which perfumers build compositions. Within each category there are endless options to explore, and many fragrances fall into more than one category.
Test it on the skin The same scent can smell different on each person so it’s important to test what scent you like on your skin. Guy recommends testing multiple on different parts of your arms to see how the fragrance will play out. When shopping for a fragrance, give yourself time to explore and wear different scents. “Allow your skin to tell the fragrance story,” says Guy.
Be open-minded One of the biggest mistakes someone can make when shopping for fragrances is going in with a closed mind. “Fragrances are subjective, and just because a certain scent is popular doesn’t mean it will work for you. Read or watch reviews from independent sources before you visit,” says Guy, to give yourself a starting point and ease some of the stress of hunting for your signature scent.
There’s something about smelling good that makes people feel luxurious. It seems like now more than ever people are indulging in quality fragrances; influencers show off their shelves of perfumes, there are dozens of luxury dupes, and it can feel like a scent-sory overload. Nir Guy, Guy founder of locally owned niche perfumery, Perfumology Perfumology, offers a few tips for finding your signature scent.
Shop Small You don’t have to spend an exorbitant amount of money for a quality fragrance. Many small brands provide high quality materials and exclusivity at reasonable prices. There are also great people behind these brands. Small, local perfumeries like Perfumology help customers break down their fragrance questions and help Guy says that these days perfumes are really powerful and a little goes a long way, so buying smaller sizes can be a great way to explore scents.
Try Layering “Some people love layering as a way to achieve a unique scent no one else is wearing,” says Guy. Over the last few years, fewer people are looking for a traditional signature scent, and are instead opting for small collections that allow for layering. To discover your perfect scent and match, and don’t be afraid to play with different intensities (one spray of this, two sprays of that). Fragrances are a mix of “art and chemistry,” says Guy. Signature scents happen when somescent that you feel represents you and make it your aura, or you can build a fragrance collec-
24 The Indulgence Issue
INDULGENCE
Photographed by Haley Domzalski | Modelled by Gianna Kimmell
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Diagnosed Diagnosedby byWeb-MD Web-MD Some people are able to have the privilege to be diagnosed by professionals and fully get the support they need. But others go through self-diagnosis in order to say what is going on with them. Through that, it is a question of whether it’s valid or toxic to others. Is it okay to self-diagnosis depending on the situation?
By Brianna Bowers Mental illnesses have become recognized as a very important part of an individual’s health, especially because mental conditions come in various forms and are different for everyone. Many individuals are given the opportunity to make an appointment to see a medical with one or multiple illnesses.However, there are many others who are unable to receive a diagnosis from a medical professional in fear of discrimination or a lack of access. So, they turn to self-diagnosing as a last resort to explain the symptoms of each condition they may be experiencing. This has become a controversial topic, especially because of social media. The online self-diagnosing community can be seen as toxic because some people simply selfdiagnose based on small details which others use to invalidate those actually diagnosed. It has become easy to self-diagnose, as there are many outlets of information regarding each condition online.
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Anne Johnson, a senior education major, self-diagnose, one of which can be through info-graphs spread through social media. “The aesthetically pleasing info graphs, if you so habitual and normal,” says Johnson. One other way people self-diagnose is with Web-MD or other medical diagnosis websites. What is wrong with using these sites to diagnose is that there are so many symptoms for each individual illness/disease that correlate. This makes it important to seek actual medical attention so you can be treated correctly because each illness has a different treatment style. An alternative is to see a counselor or therapist, so they are able to point you in the right direction. There are also times where you may have a actually have the illness itself. For example,
with OCD, you may have the tendency for it by having a fear of being dirty or fear that you did not turn off the curling iron, but that does not mean you actually have it.
The main point is that self-diagnosing yourself can be valid in certain circumstances, especially when it’s meant to help you learn
This causes some hostility as those with
diagnosis.
diagnosing as invalid and potentially over exaggerating symptoms. “The thing that should be changed is not us opening up to self-diagnosis,” Johnson said. “It’s the health care system in of itself that needs to be changed to allow people who self-diagnose to get the help that they need. [Access to] professional help is what’s most important.”
In other circumstances, it can be considered harmful if there is an over exaggeration of the illness, especially seen on social media where people will self-diagnose based on what other
Although self-diagnosis can be thought of as controversial and toxic, there are many
In which case, Perez brings up accommodations meant for those who have documented proof of diagnosis which could potentially be taken advantage of. “I don’t think people with self-diagnosis should have the same access to resources,
especially those where it’s their only option. Sarah Perez, a sophomore political science major, mentions that it is not her business to or self-diagnosed, and that “people know themselves best.”
correcting and self-soothing ways to deal with anxiety or depression [or other illnesses],” Perez said. The observations that can be made through self-diagnosis can truly be a helpful experience, especially if it is not extreme depending on the mental health condition.
understand why that has to be documented,” said Perez. The validity of the self-diagnosis depends on the individual. Some people can use it to better self-soothe without seeking medical treatment. It can also be used as a way for people to observe themselves before bringing the situation up to a medical professional. Self-diagnosing is a phenomenon that is valid in situations such as fear of discrimination prominent in the medical community or a lack of resources. There is aid in being able to work and better help yourself through personal observation.
through their own research and self-soothing ways.
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A Case for Laziness This article discusses how laziness is often deemed as a bad habit to weed out of your life when, in reality, it is an essential practice for a balanced lifestyle.
By: Jenna Downey
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Anti-laziness and pro-productivity rhetoThe rejection of procrastination has been
-
But, what happens when you are unable to -
-
32 The Indulgence Issue
Laziness does not have to be avoided or -
I have a daily to-do list which is usually one
ant part is to create a plan that works for your
I know if I continue down this path of non-
-
-
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Writer Nuri Piera Webb talks women’s sexuality and the stigma surrounding it BY Nuri Piera Webb
If you’ve ever gone through American grade school, you’ve probably heard the word “slut” thrown around by men to describe any woman who expresses any ounce of sexuality. But the sad truth is, there are women who still participate in slut shaming through internalized oppression. This perspective grants women little agency and neglects their simultaneous location in other social structures. So, how have in their sexuality? The stigma surrounding female sexuality is pervasive and affects women of all ages. The examples we witness in society teach us to objectify ourselves rather than celebrate our sexuality and express our desires. Historically, masturbation or any other sexual act has been stigmatized and has had negative physical and mental health consequences. Today, by destigmatizing things like masturbation, we are able to recognize it as helpful, healthy, and natural. Yet, we are not entirely removed from its stigmatized history just yet. comfortable in your body, and communicating what you like and don’t like. Today’s world doesn’t make it easy at all, but fortunately, there are several ways to help you cope. In the book Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling tangible tools that may work for you: self-love, orgasmic meditation, self-pornography, developing erotic awareness, and lastly talking about sex.
34 The Indulgence Issue
Conversations with friends are a crucial source of information about sexuality for young women, a way that sexual health norms are shared during emerging adulthood. However, this can only provide support if these friends are able to talk openly about sexuality. By speaking honestly, one can create a culture that embraces female sexuality without demeaning it. Women develop a strong sense of self and learn more about the ways in which their bodies function. Those who have positive feelings about their bodies, sex, and masturbation are more likely to be able to protect themselves against societal abuse. One of the most important ways we learn about our sexuality is through masturbation and other forms of self-love. want. This requires little research, and we can start by exploring ourselves, but it is also an opportunity to be curious. In a safe environment and when it is engaged in an emotionally and physically healthy manner, casual sex provides the pleasures of sexual intimacy without the emotional entanglements of a committed relationship. Women are sexual beings, yet even in our most intimate relationships, we often don’t know how to express yourselves. Sexuality is beautiful. Recognizing that feelings and attractions It’s time for us women to reclaim our skin. The unveiling of skin can teach women to bring their unapologetic selves into any space. Learn and know your own nakedness. Be good to your body. Whether your next step is a period of celibacy or a shift in your sensual focus or a new phase in your sexual life, take control of your body and mind, fearlessly.
Hëllø, Ýøû By Kaitlyn Hoey It can be tricky to know what others’ intentions are while in a relationship. After meeting a potential partner, it can be confusing whether or not the relationship will come to fruition. Seeing the clingy traits in someone you do not really know is hard and learning what their real intentions are does not always come easy. Sometimes, it is hard to tell the difference between love and infatuation. Obsession is scary and the idea of another person having so much control on your life is intense. In reality, many people can be obsessed with their partner and not even realize, but that does not mean we are not guilty ourselves. A huge type of obsession that people face is stalking. This can be in person stalking, stalking through location apps, or cyber stalking. There are many cases where an ex just happens to be at the same party as you or the same location, but is this really an accident? It is really easy for a partner or ex partner to friends. “A friend of mine, his ex would always be at the same place we were at,” said Matt, a junior engineering student. “I always assumed she would check our Snap-
When using social media it is really easy to get lost in the app. Cyberstalking happens all the time. When in the early stages, or even in a long term relationship, it is very common for someone to spend time looking at their partner’s social media pages. Looking at who they are following and who is following them to see who else is getting their attention. When someone offers just a little bit of their time and affection to us, we as humans crave more, therefore we go to extremes to get it. It is really easy to love the idea of someone and the version you made up about them. After a great few dates it can be really easy to make up a version of this person you are seeing and have a deep connection with them, even though it might not match with their sion of someone that is not even real. Especially when a relationship is new and the spark is there, it is easy Infatuation can be hard to pick out when you think you have strong feelings for a partner. As humans we always want to think the best and think everyone we have feelings for has the same feelings for us. Our obsessive or strong feelings can be disguised as what we believe to be love. These tendencies are so normalized today so it may
It is really easy for us to justify these actions, and even participate in these actions as well.
portant relationship may not always be toxic, but it is
ation. It is extremely easy to google a name or even
into a toxic obsession.
year graduate student at Temple University. Especially before going on a date with someone we met online, it is very common to want to know what this person’s life looks like and apps such as Instagram make that extremely easy.
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O
rgasm Gap
Yes, sir. No, sir. Please. Thank you. This is the vocabulary women are taught to adhere to. “Because women are supposed to be of service to men,” said sophomore Political Science major Madeline Gallagher. “Women are taught to be agreeable and play nice,” said Amy*, a senior psychology student. It is these gendered expectations that have led to the inequitable distribution of power, and pleasure, between men and women. The wage gap between men and women is largely publicized in the media. However, this article will be discussing a different kind of gap— the orgasm gap. The orgasm gap is the occurrence, primarily in heterosexual intimate encounters, of men having more orgasms than women, according to Psychology Today. The question is, why does this phenomenon occur? How can we close the gap? The orgasm gap is a product of our culture, said Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, Cassie Willnauer.
36 The Indulgence Issue
And that culture, the one in which we live, is the penis culture. “We’re ultimately in a culture that centers penis pleasure,” said Wilnauer. “Women are taught that sex isn’t necessarily for them and that their pleasure makes them dirty, so they don’t seek it or they don’t feel like they’re allowed to seek it.” Because of her female identity and religious upbringing, Smith still feels afraid to ask for what she wants in bed. “Even now, I’m afraid,” said Smith. “It’s hard to critique a man, especially when it comes to intimacy, because I don’t want to hurt their feelings.” So, the question still remains, how do we solve this problem? How do we close the gap? First, we need to throw out traditional gender-based expectations, said Smith. “Both men and women are conditioned to be in certain roles and it’s the breaking down and tearing down of those roles that will help communication and that communication will lead to orgasm,” Smith said. Communication is especially vital when interacting with sexually-uneducated men. Growing up surrounded by purity culture, many men may not have had the proper sexual education to understand that women are sexual beings who experience pleasure, said Willnauer.
Come One, Come All
By Samantha Brennan
“I think for other men, though, it’s really upsetting because they are feeling like they’re inadequate all the time because they are struggling to help their partner have an orgasm and they think that the only thing they need to do is make sure that they last as long as humanly possible,” said Willnauer. “But that’s not actually true,” she added. Approximately thirty six percent of women report that they need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm in comparison to 18.4% who reported that penetrative intercourse alone allowed them to reach orgasm, according to the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy.
To any woman reading this; teach them how. Instruct, advice, critique, ask for what you want. And if you To any man reading this, listen. Take the woman’s advice. “Our biggest sex organ is our brain,” said Willnauer. Use it. *Some names were altered for anonymity.
This disparity, then, lies in the fact that many women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm and many men are either under the false impression that the clitoris is not real and the female orgasm is a myth, or they don’t know how to effectively pleasure their female partners. To solve this issue, Willnauer suggests women to think about their past sexual encounters and try to uncover what had been causing the orgasm disparity, she said. Did you know what things would give you pleasure, but felt too afraid to explain this to your partner? Did you feel shame about certain desires? Were you faking orgasms? Did you even know what things would pleasure you? Once you answer these questions, you need to communicate your results with your partner, says Willnauer. “I feel like men want to be effective,” said Smith. “They want to know they can.”
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MAIN CAM PUS 38 The Indulgence Issue
Roots of a Community The beauty and complexity of the Black community’s relationship with hair care By: Hadiyah Muhammad Black people, particularly Black women, have continuously revolutionized and made their mark as pioneers in the beauty and hair
ty for many shoppers is that Koreans still own and operate the majority of beauty supply stores in this country, many of which
epic standards. There’s a certain je ne sais quoi that Black stylists and even shapes. Yes, shapes. As of late, stylists across all social media platforms have been catch on quickly to learn new techniques for their clients to try. -
owed the protection and needs of the community. Instead, build-
many refer to it as. The hair store is the epicenter of Black hair.
emotional and environmental demise of their homes.
In 2010, it was reported that there were over 9,000 beauty supply stores owned by Koreans in America. That number has substantially dropped and now over 3,000 of the beauty supply stores in
Theodora Yaidoo, a junior health professions major at Temple, is a talented painter and hairstylist. She describes herself as a
-
40 The Indulgence Issue
in Lancaster County, she had no choice but to do her own hair, since it’s a predominantly white area and hairstylists hardly knew be better for the Black community to circulate our money within
says.
icated their businesses as beacons in the community to provide
because the owners aren’t always the proper representation of Black hair. Their hair is vastly different but somehow they’re able care workshops and pop-up shops. hundreds or even thousands, but small essential items such as
Jaycee Bullock, a junior media studies and production major, trips to the beauty supply store often. She makes it clear that she
images sourced from pexels
owned hair stores in Philadelphia.
only does she enjoy natural hair, the owner does too. The love
TRAVEL TENDENCIES Staff writer Mia Parker explores why we tend to buy new clothes before a vacation. By Mia Parker
D
o you tend to splurge on new wardrobe pieces before a big
Many people feel that they can’t go on a vacation and take piccountless dollars on designer clothing and bags just to go on a Coordinating with friends before trips and going shopping togeth-
Whether it be the beach or a beautiful new city, chances are the
wardrobe piece on top of it?
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Let’s face it— college is basically ground zero of sin, at least that’s what it the “Temple Parents” Facebook page makes it seem like. From Temple’s proud title of “America’s Most Sexually Active Campus” to our universally shared toxic social media habits, REFINE gave seven different models and photographers free rein to interpret each of the seven deadly sins for a fresh new take on our biannual mini shoot series. Introducing, the Seven Deadly Sins of REFINE.
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Modelled by Garrett Ricigliano
Modelled and Photographed by Bella Powers LUST
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