Leading Prayer in Small Groups by RENEW International

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Have you ever been asked to lead prayer for your church group, council, or committee? Leading Prayer in Small Groups emphasizes the importance of group prayer for church groups of every kind and provides insight into why we pray. It also explains the role, qualities, and duties of a leader of prayer. Readers are guided through the stages of preparing group prayer and the process of effectively leading prayer for a group.

“If you lack the confidence to lead others in prayer, you need this book; if you are already leading others in prayer, you will be helped by this book; and if you are trying to teach others to lead prayer, this is a valuable resource. Leading Prayer in Small Groups is a fine, theologically-balanced, practical, and needed book from RENEW.” —Father Ronald Rolheiser, OMI, president, Oblate School of Theology, San Antonio, TX

“Leading Prayer in Small Groups is a comprehensive and practical tool to help leaders broaden their concept of prayer and feel confident about their role. This book covers every aspect and as a result, I am expecting great prayer and great leaders of prayer!” — Sister Donna Ciangio, OP, chairperson, North American Forum for Small Christian Communities

“Everything you wanted to know about leading a group in prayer, but were afraid to ask. This might appropriately be the subtitle for this wide-ranging, sensitively written guide to helping people feel their way into leading group prayer well. It touches all the bases, from preparing for leading a group in prayer, to setting an environment, to forms of prayer, to praying with different groups and in a variety of situations. The appendix offers a number of prayers clearly focused for different occasions.” — Brother Robert K. Moriarty, SM, director of the Pastoral Department for Small Christian Communities, Archdiocese of Hartford, and editor of Quest

“Leading Prayer in Small Groups is a tool to help someone through the process of preparing to lead prayer in a small group. It will provide the confidence needed to lead and create meaningful prayer services for parish meetings, as well as encourage the reader to invite others to do the same.” — Karen Dill, parish catechetical leader and director of adult faith formation, St. Bernard of Clairvaux Parish, Bridgewater, NJ

RENEW International 1232 George Street Plainfield, NJ 07062-1717 www.renewintl.org

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LEADING PRAYER in SMALL GROUPS

CONTENTS Presenting RENEW International.................................................... v Introduction......................................................................................vi Prayer..................................................................................................1 The Leader of Prayer.........................................................................6 How to Lead the Prayer Experience..............................................11 Creating an Environment for Prayer............................................25 Forms of Prayer...............................................................................29 Praying with Scripture....................................................................37 Praying with Special Age Groups .................................................46 Special Situations in Group Prayer...............................................58 Empowering Others to Lead Prayer.............................................63 Appendix: Prayers...........................................................................69 Resources from RENEW International........................................83

THE LEADER OF PRAYER “… the Spirit too comes to the aid of our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit itself intercedes with inexpressible groanings. […] We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” —Romans 8:26, 28

When a well-known speaker became ill and could not conduct the allday workshop, her replacement was asked, “How long did you have to prepare for today?” His immediate answer was, “My whole lifetime.” Your preparation for leading prayer began long ago, and your loving communion with God is the core from which you draw whenever you lead others in prayer.

Why we need a prayer leader The primary objective of a leader of prayer is to foster an encounter with Christ. Prayer is essential to who we are as Christians both individually and collectively. Saint Paul counsels in 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18: “Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus. ” Since this is the will of God your group can only benefit by praying together. Centering the identity of your group in prayer is important to who we are as Church. Prayer is as important to the identity of any church group as the focus, mission, or intended purpose of that group. Prayer is just as important to a parish finance council as it is to a church youth group or CYO basketball team, a pastoral council, or a small Christian faith6

sharing community—in short, to any small group of people who gather for an activity that honors God. The fact that prayer is an essential part for every church group or committee means that someone must lead that prayer at the opening and closing of each gathering. Having someone designated for this important duty is essential for several reasons. A person who has been designated as prayer leader can assure that the prayer will be relevant to the purpose of the small group or to the theme of a specific meeting. The leader assures that the group will conduct its meeting in a prayerful context, and that every gathering will not default to a mechanical recitation of The Lord’s Prayer. The prayer leader also can invite other group members to handle various duties that may be helpful to the group prayer experience. These tasks might include arranging and decorating a room appropriately for prayer, making copies of prayer handouts, or at times leading part or all of the prayer itself. As a leader of prayer you are providing a very special service to the group through your selfless sharing of your time and talents. You can learn to develop some techniques that will enhance your ability to lead prayer for others and be a blessing to them in the process. Different kinds of groups may have different needs. In some groups one person may serve as the group presider and host with a different person serving as the leader of prayer. Other groups may have the same person presiding over the meeting as well as leading the prayer. In either model it is helpful for the leader(s) to know what their respective role is in order to appropriately make attendees feel welcome and at ease. You may need to collaborate with the other leaders about this in advance to be clear. Here is a list and general description of the tasks that are included in the prayer leader’s role. These tasks will be discussed in more detail in later chapters. The leader of prayer • Is welcoming • Is fully present • Sets the tone • Creates a prayerful atmosphere

THE LEADER OF PRAYER

• Displays appropriate demeanor • Projects calm confidence

Welcoming When you lead group prayer you carry out a ministry to others by your service, presence, and demeanor. All of these contributions on your part will help lead people closer to God through the group prayer experiences. It all begins with a welcoming environment and friendly experience upon arrival. Consider how you would like to feel welcomed when you go someplace, especially one that may be unfamiliar to you. If someone else serves as the host or group presider, in advance of the meeting you might offer them your support to ensure attendees will receive a warm welcome. They might find this assistance unnecessary or they may enthusiastically welcome the help. In either case, projecting a warm and friendly demeanor will help relax the attendees with whom you will soon pray.

Presence The first role of the prayer leader is to “be present.” When you are leading prayer, that is all you are doing. You have a singular focus, prayer: yours, the group’s, and God. Remember, you already preside when you pray privately or when you say grace before meals or teach your children or grandchildren to pray. Now you are translating that to a more or less formal setting, doing so with conscious intent and preparation. An exception to this may occur if you are also serving as the group presider or host. In that case being present also means paying attention to the group and adjusting as needed to ensure a smooth group-prayer experience.

Setting the tone As a part of leading prayer you will often be responsible for prompting people to make the transition from what might have been a lively period of arrival and greeting to a quieter and more focused attitude of prayer, or—with respect to the closing prayer—from what might have been a lively or even contentious discussion to a mutual “summing up” before God. The task involves helping people settle down into prayer mode, in as friendly a manner as possible. Welcome folks and remember to name the theme before you begin the prayer. Through your posture, attitude, and tone of voice, set the tone by creating an atmosphere conducive to 8

LEADING PRAYER IN SMALL GROUPS

prayer. Some occasions for prayer may be more joyous than other occasions; some may call for a serious or somber tone.

Demeanor The people in your group will take their cues from you as you lead them in prayer. Your appropriate demeanor will help them stay focused and in the prayer moment. In preparing for this, consider these questions: How do you need to “be”; what do you need to bring from your heart in order to lead? We carry within ourselves confidence in God, trust, awe, wonder, love. What is the richness of your relationship with God that you bring to the theme your group will reflect upon in prayer? What in Scripture or in the teachings of the Church dwells in you that corresponds to the gathering at hand? What are your doubts, concerns, fears, hesitations? Being aware of who you are and your experience, and being clear about who God is, helps you to keep God as the focal point of the prayer. Qualities and characteristics of effective group prayer leaders include • reverence • competence • confidence • attentiveness to the group’s needs • ease of manner • a well-groomed appearance

Confidence comes from preparation Being prepared will raise your confidence, but remember that just because you are the leader you don’t have to do all the preparations alone. You can ask others for ideas or for help. For example, someone else can be asked to set up the prayer table. Another example might be that if you plan to sing or use music you can ask someone in the group to bring enough hymnals or a music player.

Confidence also comes from knowing and trusting God As a leader, trust your own personal relationship with God. Know what you are comfortable sharing and what you are not. As the leader of prayer, you are praying too. Intend to pray; remember that the focus is on God, not on you. This can be very liberating. In addition to praying with the group you are leading, pray before and after. THE LEADER OF PRAYER

The Holy Spirit is truly the leader of prayer. Leading from the heart of your relationship with God in a relaxed and peaceful manner will allow the Spirit to move each group member where she or he is meant to follow. Taking your time in moving from one part of the prayer to another, providing moments of silence, encouraging the members of your group to journal and to share, will all help both you and the group follow the Spirit’s lead and enter into deeper communion with God.

Ways of deepening our personal spiritual growth The deeper your personal spirituality and relationship to God is, the more confidently and more earnestly you can lead prayer for others. Personal relationship with God can be nurtured and more clearly defined for yourself through • Daily personal prayer • Frequent participation at Mass • Yearly retreat and/or evenings of reflection • Journaling • Spiritual direction from a qualified spiritual director. Ask your pastor or call your diocese to ask for a list of recommended spiritual directors.

Journaling Journaling can be a helpful way for you as a prayer leader to deepen your spiritual growth. Journaling also supports planning ahead, and looking back for occasions when you are called upon to lead prayer. When you keep a journal you are providing yourself a method of chronicling the ways God’s grace has been manifested to you through your experiences. This is a way of knowing and learning to trust God because you can look back and remember when grace has been visibly abundant in your life. Decide on a notebook or journal for preparing for each prayer experience and reflecting on it afterwards. Select something that reflects your desire to deepen your own prayer and help others to pray. If you opt for a plain notebook, you may choose to add a nice cover with a religious symbol or image from nature on it.

LEADING PRAYER IN SMALL GROUPS