reSOUND III

A QUARTERLY FOR BLACK LESBIANS AND ALLIES

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house rules

The term “homosexuality” is only used in direct quotes, in the context of historical references, or when present in cited materials.

Lesbian is an adjective and noun.

The ‘B’ in “Black” is always capitalized.

Editor-in-Chief: L. Cherelle Special thanks to everyone who checked out the May 16th issue of reSOUND, to the women who shared themselves and time in this issue, and those of you who are reading this moment. I hope that you can appreciate the efforts of this small, grassroots publication. As always, I’ve put forth my best.

I look forward to the remainder of the year and future Resolute projects. And I plan on giving my community more issues and products that we can be proud of and share. We are deserving of the best, in addition to recognition, and respect.

As always, I encourage your feedback and participation.

Respectfully submitted,

Resolute Publishing Resolute is a publishing collective that offers African American female writers who consider themselves “everyday people” a voice and port of connection to other women, men, and families. We promote quality publications that are targeted to communities of color and LBGTQ audiences. Resolute uses printed words to speak, share, uplift, and foster self and community esteem. Success for every Resolute author means something different, but all authors share a passion for reading and the livelihood of other women.

to ensure the accuracy of information published in reSOUND. Resolute Publishing is not responsible for errors or omissions or liable for misprints or typographical errors in advertisements. The opinions expressed herein are those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the publisher.

Material in this magazine cannot be reproduced or transmitted in any form or any means (electronic, mechanical or otherwise) in whole or part without the publisher’s permission.

reSOUND is published quarterly and distributed via print and digital editions. Every effort has been made

Copyright © 2012 Resolute Publishing, LLC. All rights reserved.

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Mailing Address: P.O. Box 2131 | Louisville, KY 40201

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Fat Lesbians

by L. Cherelle

My intentions with this title or article aren’t to criticize, preach or teach, but to offer words of encouragement to all those battling the bulge. I’ve been blamed a time or two, or ten, for making my girlfriend fat. “You made me fat so that no one else would want me,” she says. She blames her love handles and double chin on my cooking choices, late-night eating, frequent trips to fast food joints, and my love for eating then sleeping.

Truth be told...

I’m just as much of a culprit in her weight gain as she is. The question of ‘how this happened’ is easily answered. The question of ‘what do we do’ remains a challenge.

Truth be told...

I’ve gained weight too. I’ve packed on about 25 pounds in the past eight years of our relationship.

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But unlike my partner, I can camouflage my problem areas and shopping for clothes is not an issue for me.

Truth be told...

It’s easy to gain weight with your partner, especially when the two of you are nesting.

Truth be told...

When you gain weight together, no one runs the

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perspective

risk of being “less attractive” and there’s no need to impress the once new girlfriend. As time progresses, you don’t check your partner with a simple, “Baby, put down the burger.” Mutual weight gain can be a sign of complacency.

Truth be told...

It’s hard to monitor yourself and your partner after you’ve adopted a healthier lifestyle. You just can’t expect your partner to do what’s right in your absence, and vice versa. Yes, we have slips-up— several in fact. But we continue to check-in with each other and hold each other accountable for individual and collective food choices.

Truth be told...

It’s easy to make excuses and to support each other when those excuses are made. I can’t count the number of times we’ve used eating-out as an excuse for “living in a boring city,” or skipping a workout because we’ve “worked all day” or eating-out because neither one of us “wants to cook.”

Truth be told...

It’s so much easier to workout when your partner’s on board. But for those who are single, I encourage you to find a workout buddy—someone who’s just as serious about weight loss as you.

Truth be told...

Transitioning to a healthier lifestyle is a hard journey. But it is possible to make healthier eating and exercise a priority just as good sex, quality time, and romance are priorities. The love that you share for your partner, and yourself, must manifest in both tangible and intangible ways.

Truth be told...

Just because I didn’t mind the weight gain, doesn’t mean that I should have continually ignored my good sense and understanding of the world that we live in. Health disparities in the African American community and health risks in our respective families are real and cannot be overlooked for years at a time.

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Celebrate your good days, just as you celebrate anniversaries, other milestones, and all things that make your partnership and love unique.

I know, whole-heartedly, that it’s truly a challenge to take control of your health. As Black lesbian women, we face and endure a number of stressors, some we can and cannot control or eliminate. But my partner and I have learned the following.: The “secret” to a healthier diet and routine exercise is being ready. Five years ago, we weren’t ready to emotionally or physically commit to the process or a significant change in our lifestyle. But in May 2012, we reached a tipping point. We are both putting in work to ensure that good food choices far exceed less healthy ones, and we both understand that it takes time to fully adapt to better habits.

We’ve also learned that we must be realistic in our expectations and goals so that failed attempts or bad days do not equal dissatisfaction or discouragement. •

Fat Lesbians 5

Kentuckiana Gay Black Pride Association

Congratulations to Kentuckiana Gay Black Pride Association (KGBPA) for recently celebrating its second Pride. The organization teamed up with community groups to host Pride events between August 9th to 12th.

KGBPA was formed in May 2010 to provide the LBGTQ community of color in Metro Louisville and the surrounding region with year-round events and an annual Pride celebration. KGBPA President Tanya Couch works to ensure that her team brings the African American community together for celebration and expression and serves as an influential entity in the larger community.

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Community support at the Mr. and Mrs. Kentuckiana Gay Black Pride Pageant and the implementation of the first official pride in Louisville were the most successful aspects of Pride 2011. This year, however, event attendance tripled and the pageant was taken to a new level. Nine contests competed for the reigning title, but crowns were ultimately bestowed to Anre’ Cavalier and Terry Vanessa Coleman. www.ResPublishing.com

community

Although the extended Pride weekend took a lot of corralling and effort, Tanya enjoys watching the payoff from work her team put forth. “If you can get a group of dedicated people together, you can do anything.”

The first “unofficial” Kentuckiana Black Pride was held in 2010 with about 50 people. In 2011, KBGPA was inducted into the Independent Federation of Black Prides. A year later, Pride has grown to eight events. Tanya is inspired by Atlanta’s annual Pride because it started in a backyard as well. But, “if you make the decision to start small and stick with it,” she explains, “it will grow.” Ultimately, Tanya wants Kentuckiana’s Black Pride to serve as an enjoyable celebration for residents of multiple states.

Challenges.

For Kentuckiana (i.e. Kentucky and nearby Indiana), Black Pride is important because “we don’t have any other culturally diverse or specific Pride events. So it’s important for our community to come together and make an economic impact. Otherwise, we’re second thoughts to the larger Pride in Louisville.”

People’s attitudes about Black Pride—particularly, why is it needed—has been a challenge to the organization. Some people ask, “You already have a [general] Pride, why do you need [a Black] one?”

Tanya responds with, “Well if you have to ask, that’s

er Opening mix

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why we need it. We need something that’s just for us, to celebrate our uniqueness and diversity—where we can be us.”

Over the next 12 months, the organization hopes to eliminate negative perceptions that “we’re trying to segregate ourselves. That’s something we always struggle with.” However, conversations and partnerships with various factions—“leaving them with a good taste in their mouth”—is an effective way to combat these perceptions.

What’s next for KGBPA?

Following Pride 2012, the organization will take a short break, regroup, and then start all over again to make Pride 2013 even bigger and better. In the interim, Tanya is working on more than Pride of events. One of the larger goals for KGBPA is to locate an office to provide outreach services (such as HIV testing), support groups, and other activities. “Right now, it’s baby steps. But that’s the impact that we want.” Once KGBPA settles into their new home, they look forward to teaming with local organizations as Louisville Youth Group, Fairness Campaign, and Parents and Families of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) of Louisville—as well as groups outside the LGBT community— to provide some of the services and activities.

(Continued on page 12...)

Festival Kentuckiana Gay Black Pride Association 7

on our terms PARENTHOOD IN THE LESBIAN CONTEXT

by Nikki Jones Parenthood signals an important milestone in the family life cycle. As I approach the threshold to thirty, my partner and I are discussing children, homeownership, and other family oriented matters. Sometimes, I joke with her that we won’t have an authentic family until we have kids. On one hand, parenting is a significant life transition, and this fact feeds my ambivalence. But on the other hand, the prospect of small companions—someone to look up to me and listen intently —is exciting. Though parenthood is far down the road for me, the experiences of the following selfidentified lesbian women are an informative resource. Their stories cover a variety of topics ranging from conception to interaction with family of origin, heterosexual culture, and the LGBT community.

shannon's story A 32-year-old Tennessee native and recent graduate from the University of Louisville, Shannon has always imagined herself as a mother. “When I turned 30, I decided to look into the process of using donor sperm, with the intent to inseminate sometime after I established my career. However, I came to a point where I realized that I was ready at age 31 to begin the process.” Though she believes it is best to have a reliable partnership established before becoming a parent, she also understands that sometimes it’s not possible and a strong, single parent is more than sufficient.

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Staceyann Chin, spoken-word poet and LGBT rights activist, told a similar story when she wrote about her pregnancy in 2011. She disclosed that the week after she got pregnant, her relationship ended. Chin, like Shannon, utilized donor sperm to conceive.

The Process of Conception.

Shannon is near the end of the third trimester and excited about meeting her baby girl. The experience of conception was a challenging adventure full of twists

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perspective

Conception, Things to Consider: The decision on how to conceive can spark many emotions from one or both partners. The non-conceiving partner may feel inadequate, or both partners may feel angry about donor sperm or involving a male in any shape, fashion, or form. and turns. Shannon contemplated several methods of conception. “I considered having sex with a male friend who was thinking of being a sperm donor for me. However, it did not seem like the most authentic method for me, and that is mostly because I prefer to be with women. In the end, having a friend to donate did not work out, but if it had, I would have chosen to utilize ICI [intracervical insemination] with his sperm, not via sexual intercourse. I went with an anonymous donor, and used a needleless syringe to inseminate myself at home.”

Similar to most parents, Shannon has concerns about her child’s future. “I am concerned about providing financially for my child. And making sure she has support from my friends, as my family lives a distance away.” Despite the distance, Shannon does have a network or friends and family members who are involved in her life and enthusiastic about her pregnancy. The only other fear that she has is prejudice. “I do fear that she will suffer discrimination because of who I am. Luckily, I think the area I will be raising her in has enough diversity that she will hopefully not be the only child in her classes growing up who has a gay/lesbian parent. I fear she will have to defend me, something that no child should have to do for a parent. If she chooses to dodge certain conversations, I will understand, but I want to raise her to be confident in who she is and in who her parent is.”

Shannon’s Advice.

“Utilize the interne; there are a lot of resources out there! Try not to stress if you are trying to conceive; it will not help the process. And do not tell everyone you are trying to conceive, even if they are supportive and mean well. It is very nerve-wracking to be asked

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stock photo

A Parent’s Concerns.

each month, ‘Did it work? Are you pregnant?’ and have to say ‘no’ time after time. The conception process is very emotionally draining, so be prepared for disappointments and give yourself space to grieve should you not get pregnant right away.”

Future Conversations.

Shannon feels that conversations about conception with her daughter should be open and an ongoing process. When having the conversation, she will use age-appropriate language and consider her daughter’s developmental level.

(Continued on page next page...)

On Our Terms 9

tia's story Tia is a 33-year-old Louisville native, student at Spalding University, and mother of a daughter and son. In 2006, after six years of marriage and her sister’s passing, Tia decided to leave her husband and pursue her identity as a lesbian woman. The death of her sister gave her the strength to leave the unsatisfactory relationship. “I was going to live my life and be who I wanted to be. I didn’t want to be miserable anymore.”

Conservations With Her Children.

Tia’s story is not uncommon to many lesbian families.

Within the community, there are a significant number of women who divorce or separate from men to reconstitute a new family. Tia’s daughter was seven and son was six at the time of her separation.

Tia informed her children about her sexuality after pursuing a relationship with a woman she dated for a year. However, due to age and maturation, the conversation “went over their heads” and she reexplained the situation to them later. “I sat them down and asked what they knew about lesbians and gays. Then I explained to them that I was a lesbian and what that meant for me and our family.” The family talked in depth about her sexual orientation, and of course, her children had a lot of questions, which Tia patiently answered.

Teaching Acceptance.

Even though there are harsh opinions, strong attitudes, and unequal policies against same-sex individuals and parents, Tia will not let that harm her family. Because she is educating her children, she does not fear negative sentiment from the public or family members. She is teaching her children about difference and making them aware of their environment. “The key to fighting ignorance is education. I’ve taught my children…so I know they can handle themselves in a debate.”

Parenthood Beyond Labels.

Tia doesn’t view any major differences between childrearing in a same-sex versus opposite-sex relationship. She believes the way you raise your 10 reSOUND - Issue 3 of 4 for 2012

Family dynamic...Each family unit establishes a collective identity with rituals, rules, and language. Every family is different, unique, and influenced by factors such as socioeconomic status, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, and geographical location.

When a family is a member of a marginalized group, external sources can cause distress and create barriers to family satisfaction.

children is dependent upon each parent’s family of origin experience and personal narrative. Regardless of sexual identity, she is open and honest with her children and trains them to be strong, independent young adults. Plainly stated, “I know good parents in same-sex relationships and opposite-sex relationships like I know not-so-good parents in same-sex relationships and opposite-sex relationships. It depends on the person.”

“I want to teach my child to accept people for who they are, not who they sleep with, gay or straight.”

Community Support.

Building parental support networks in the local lesbian community is slowly progressing. While Tia has grown close to and been welcomed by many lesbian mothers, she believes a collective mentality www.ResPublishing.com

is absent. “Village mentality is missing and building relationships with women is hard.” Though, she does believe it is possible.

Tia’s Advice.

b. j.'s story B.J. is a 42-year-old Louisville native, mother of three sons, and grandmother of four. Her curiosity in women began when a bisexual woman pursued her.

Even though she was not interested in this particular woman, “I knew I was changing for along time. I had stopped dating guys almost two years before. I felt like I had no need for them in my personal life. My boys were pretty much raised and there was always an active presence of men in their lives—their fathers, my brothers, or other male relatives.”

Community Support.

B.J.’s first contact with a female was when she was thirty-one. She didn’t find much support from the lesbian community, and if there was support she didn’t know where to go. So, she depended on God, her family and friend, and her psychologist for assurance and support.

Disclosure With Children.

B.J.’s sons were teens when she was forced to disclose her growing interest in women. “They walked in on my first girlfriend and me passed out in my bed after watching a movie cuddled up underneath the covers, clothes on. We were still in the dating stage. I hadn’t even kissed her yet. I just so happened to open my eyes and found the oldest two standing at the foot of my bed staring at us. Dag, I had told them they could stay out pass curfew! So the next morning I explained to them that I might be [lesbian].”

Late Bloomers.

Late-blooming

lesbians—women

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who

identify

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Her advice to same-gender-loving parents is to be open and honest with your children. “If you are ashamed of who you are, then your children will be ashamed of you too.” as lesbian after the age thirty, marriage, and children—are on the rise. In 2010, the American Psychological Association held a conference in San Diego titled “Sexual Fluidity and Late-Blooming Lesbians.” Researchers cite that a combination of factors are making women more comfortable with ‘coming out.’ First, same-sex attraction is not a new emotion for some late-blooming women.

Many women experienced same sex attraction in adolescence or early adulthood, albeit they didn’t act on it. Late-bloomers are also becoming more common because varying life circumstances, less homophobia, and increased societal acceptance.

This, along with other contributing causes, are moving women beyond heterosexual, religious, and cultural boundaries.

Family Support.

B.J. acknowledges that her own three sons wish she were “normal.” But, they do support her personal choice. As a grandmother, she says lesbianism is not a factor. “My role as a lesbian being a grandparent, or a grandparent being a lesbian doesn’t have anything to do with one or the other. I love them unconditionally. I will teach them, I will punish them, and I will spoil them, and do anything in this world for them. I hope that as they get older and form their own opinions of the world, that they will still love and except me and my potential life partner.”

B.J.’s Advice.

If you plan to have children, pray with them.

Teach them to understand the ways of God. Always be honest with your children, and don’t underestimate their understanding. • On Our Terms 11

Black Pride continued...

Anyone who has ran an organization would agree that it’s a challenge to get everyone to work together.

“You can’t please everyone or make everyone happy, but you try to give people what they want. Getting people to understand that when you make a decision, you’re doing it for the community and for the best” requires leadership and patience. •

Mrs. KGBPA 2011

Lady Bejon

What does KGBPA need right now?

More volunteers and more corprate sponsors.

If you’d like to volunteers for the organiztion, or sponsor upcoming events, contact Tanya Couch via facebook or email: facebook.com/KYGayBlkPride kgbp@insightbb.com

2011 and 2012 Court

Terry Vanessa Coleman and Anre’ Cavalier

Rocky Valentino

Mr. KGBPA 2011

2012 Contestants Photos by Our Photography by CaT. Company contact info: 502-644-8340 | ourphotographybycat@yahoo.com

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Poetry=Honesty+Realness 13

Who is Hadiyah?

by Kionne Nicole

When I wrote The Space Our Love Demands (TSOLD), I envisioned a character that would embody traits, personal challenges, and weakness identifiable to most while also contextually representing one interpretation of the Black lesbian experience. At the most basic level, Hadiyah, or “Yah,” is a graduate student living in Louisville, KY. Originally from Memphis by way of Columbus, Ohio, she moved to The River City following a break-up from her long-term partner, Charity.

They were college sweethearts, the couple everyone loved. In Louisville, Yah meets several women and establishes intimate connections with two in particular, Fatma and Adrienne. An emotional struggle ensues sending her down an emotionally tumultuous path. Yah becomes more complex and changed by a series of interpersonal and intimate experiences.

Hadiyah’s Personality.

The Major Players.

Yah is an intelligent young woman, but reclusive and selfish at times. Yah describes what she thinks, feels, and sees using some crass language and a lot of colloquialisms. Readers have told me that she is multilingual and code-switches often. That is one element of the book I want readers to appreciate.

As a member of several communities—academic, queer, southern, Black, etc.—she has a manifold consciousness.

There are three other significant characters in TSOLD. Tee is an eighteen-year-old, handsome stud who is very entrepreneurial and astute in mathematics. She provides the book with humor, excitement, and roughness. She is embedded in the subculture of masculine-identified Black lesbian women and illustrates some of the style, expression, and behaviors of that community. Tee is Yah’s best friend in Louisville. They have a big sister-little sister, mentor-mentee relationship.

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good reads

“The source of the conflict in TSOLD will differ according to whom the reader identifies with.”

–Kionne

E-book available at ResPublishing.com and Amazon Kindle

Hadiyah [Haa·dee·yah]: In Swahili, it means a ‘gift.’

In Arabic, it means ‘guide to righteousness.’

While Yah and Tee are on one end of the spectrum, Lois lies on the other. She is the wisest of the three. Lois is a fifty-something, married lesbian who provides advice, arbitrates disputes, and models long-term martial satisfaction. Along with Tee, Lois defines what gay folks mean when we refer to each other as “family.” The camaraderie between these women is important because of the limited representation of Black women in authentic, open, and honest relationships within popular culture.

Even though positive relationships between sisters take place all the time, we don’t see them enough; therefore, TSOLD highlights female-to-female communion.

Last, but certainly not least, is Charity. Her character traits are passionate, no-nonsense, and self-starter. She is the long-term, loyal ex-girlfriend and the backbone

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of Yah’s character—even though she presents as a background character. Where companions or friends are concerned, Charity is the quintessential example of a woman you’d want by your side.

The Reader’s Experience.

The Space Our Love Demands will test your selfawareness. The way that each character is judged or interpreted is solely dependent upon the reader’s reference point. I sought to create a multidimensional story told through characters with distinct personality and original expression. The reader is challenged to think about intimacy, loyalty, and commitment.

Since the underlying themes are universal, the novel will resonate with any reader. • Who Is Hadiyah? 15

good reads

I wish more Black lesbian relationships operated with the reality found between the covers of “Accept the Unexpected.” ~Sistahs on the Shelf

Keleya Smith is a confident Southern woman who finds herself at an inadvertent crossroad at age twenty-six, waiting for life to unveil meaning and purpose. She thought she had the ultimate catch with Kris, but their four-year relationship is destroyed with one night of deceit. The breakup forces Keleya to come to a discomforting realization: she is unfulfilled, often seeking refuge in her hobby, family, and friends. Despite the emotional damage, Keleya remains loyal to love. So when fate drops someone new at her doorstep, she transfers the yearning for intimacy, respect, and friendship to Jordan— an attractive twenty-nine-year-old native of Philadelphia. This newfound relationship with Jordan catches Keleya by surprise and tests her looming desire for her old confidant Kris. In the struggle to manage trust and vulnerability, Keleya finds herself caught in a whirlwind of old loves and new possibilities.

Available in paperback at www.ResPublishing.com and www.BN.com

Currently free on Amazon Kindle 16 reSOUND - Issue 3 of 4 for 2012

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ISBN - 0983094802 | Publisher - Resolute Publishing | Publication Date - May 1, 2011 | Cover Price - $11.99

ss

SOUNDSOLUTIONS We’ve all been placed in situations with family members, friends, or coworkers where we’ve shared our experiences and given advice only to have it fall on deaf ears. From my personal and professional life, I’ve learned that most people don’t heed “sound advice.” As a matter of fact, they aren’t even looking for us to tell them something. They just want talk and be heard. Therefore, my role in this quarterly comes with the following caveat: you are the expert and the authority on your situation. I am a conduit to help YOU uncover the answers that you already possess. The goal here is to promote richer dialogue. So, I wouldn’t define my responses as advice per se, rather respectful curiosity to assist with the process of personal discovery and more informed decision-making. ~Nikki

AM I ANGRY? ~Submitted by Asha Blake, Marietta, GA

I have recently been told that I have anger management issues. However, I find myself to be a very patient person. I do get really angry sometimes, and when I do, I may slam a door or yell into a pillow or yell at the person I am upset with. But I’ve always felt like this was normal when people get angry. People get frustrated. How should I know if I have an anger management issue or not? Are there markers one should look out for? What are some healthier ways to deal my anger?

Thanks for the questions. I will discuss indicators of negative anger expression and suggest ways to healthily manage your anger.

A major challenge for individuals with anger management issues are cognitions or negative thoughts, which cause a person to attribute unrealistic evaluations or judgments of a given circumstance. For example, sometimes people find themselves in a stressful condition or interaction with someone, and may feel out of control. Instead of expressing vulnerability or primary emotions www.ResPublishing.com

such as sadness or fear, for instance, they express anger traits. Additionally, various negative and inaccurate thoughts about a situation or self tend to cause them to escalate and lash out verbally or physically.

Arousal control techniques really help when feeling angry, upset, or frustrated. People who have a low threshold for arousal control are not able to manage the presentation of anger, but they can learn to have more awareness and assume (Continued on page 22...)

Am I Angry? 17

Self-Proclaimed

Rena {Sistahs on the Shelf} Self-Proclaimed (S-P) features Black, queer women of all ages who have declared her capabilities and strengths, and embarked on a journey guided by her passions, talents, and aspirations. Self-proclaimed women don’t wait for legal authorities to grant their title or status. She sets her terms and presses forward without the endorsement of others.

Through S-P, we hope that you can find inspiration and passion in your journey too.

If you’ve ever conducted an online search for lesbian literature, chances are you landed upon Sistahs on Shelf—a promotional blog and review site for Black lesbian fiction.

Created in 2005 by Rena (i.e. Ree-nay), a thirty-something Black lesbian femme from Tallahassee, Sistahs on the Shelf (SOTS) is an invaluable archive for readers both old and new to the Black lesbian genre. With 143 reviewed books under her belt, Rena is celebrating the seventh anniversary of SOTS throughout August.

Sistahs on the Shelf Why did Rena create Sistahs On The Shelf?

Sistahs on the Shelf was created because there wasn’t anything like it at the time. As a member of online reading groups, the pivotal question women would ask was, “What is there for us to read?” They wanted to know where the Black lesbian books were that are for us and by us. So the answer to me was simple: Sistahs on the Shelf. I wanted to connect women with the books that describe our lives. I desired to give back something to our community given to me 18 reSOUND - Issue 3 of 4 for 2012

through the books I’ve read and enjoyed, the first being April Sinclair’s Coffee Will Make You Black. I wanted to help sistahs in the life realize that there are stories with our love, our feelings, our dreams, and our interests at heart.

How did she prepare to become a reviewer?

With SOTS, I researched literary websites and used my own membership experiences with reading www.ResPublishing.com

s-p

“I’m proud of the site and what it’s become, and glad to still be around after seven years.”

groups. It is a mélange of everything I wanted to see within a reading site and a little bit of the things Black lesbians wanted to see.

I am a team of one. SOTS is my baby. I’m so handson, I don’t know if I could give up control. But I have seriously thought about soliciting for reviewers now because the amount of review requests. Lately, I’ve been receiving the most it’s ever been. And with the rise of e-books, I keep finding more and more novels.

My Kindle has been busy.

How does Rena divide her time between SOTS and personal/professional obligations?

Reading the novels is the easy part (sometimes) because I love to read. Writing the reviews is where it gets hectic because I try to make sure the reviews are well-written and helpful to the reader who could potentially buy the book. Then I have try to balance my “day job,” family and friends, and a girlfriend with all of this, as well as my own personal reading aside from SOTS. www.ResPublishing.com

Ultimately, what does Rena want for SOTS? To see SOTS go to the next level. I would like, at some point, to host a book conference of Black lesbian writers and readers, possibly retreat style. I have other ideas roaming in my head as well.

Black Lesbian Fiction Has Black lesbian fiction changed since 2005?

Yes, I have definitely seen a rise in the number of Black lesbian books. Even before Sistahs on the Shelf, I was always scouring for more books about us. Don’t get me wrong, there were some out there. But today, especially with Kindle and Nook gaining massive popularity, e-books have doubled, possibly tripled, the amount of novels available. Authors are trying new ways to get their books out there. The social networking boom has also changed the industry.

When I began SOTS in 2005, there was no Twitter or Facebook, only MySpace (and we see where that is).

(Continued on next page...)

Sistahs on the Shelf 19

Black lesbian authors are interacting even more with their readers and telling the world, literally, about their works.

Sizzlin Sistahs Summer Reads

What’s the most bizarre book Rena’s ever read?

Oh my! I read this book about a married woman in an abusive relationship who falls in love with a woman.

The husband is so insanely jealous when he suspects his wife is cheating, he uses a chain saw to hack the woman. Blew my mind! It never got reviewed.

What would Rena like to see in Black lesbian fiction?

I would like to see more stories about marriage, about women conceiving and raising children, growing old together. Maybe it’s just the space I’m in right now.

Does Rena have a Black lesbian fiction pet peeve?

My only frustration is gratuitous sex that has absolutely no meaning at all to the plot. And while this not a peeve, no disrespect to my lovely Black lesbian writers, but studs with dreads…very sexy, but I’ve read a lot of stories with them.

Where does Black lesbian fiction stand in comparison to the larger publishing industry?

I think Black lesbian fiction stands taller than the industry believes. We have a creative voice, and there are very good books from our authors that get overlooked. I feel many mainstream publishing companies aren’t taking a chance on our stories, and therefore, writers have to find their own ways to get their books published, like creating their own companies and book imprints.

How does Rena describe the relationship between authors and readers in the genre?

I think it’s terrific, especially because of Twitter and Facebook, not to mention Tumblr and other social networking sites. Authors can talk with their fans and get immediate feedback on their novels. Any comment or post, I think the authors definitely read.

Has Rena published in this genre?

I have not published…yet! I will someday. I wonder who will review my book, though.

20 reSOUND - Issue 3 of 4 for 2012

Sistahs Sizzlin Summer Reads features summer releases or “lesbian beach reads” as Rena likes to call them. The series began on July 8 and will end after Labor Day. If you’re an author who would like to be included in the series, contact Rena via email for consideration.

She will select books that are fit for summer reading and were published before or during the season.

Website: sistahsontheshelf.com/blog Email: reviews@sistahsontheshelf.com Promo blog: sotspromoblog.wordpress.com

About Rena I’m a procrastinating hard-worker, love to laugh, and somewhat shy. Books have been my passion since I was a young girl reading Aesop’s tales. I’m still trying to find the moral of my story, though. I work in government as an analyst. I am in a great relationship.

She makes me happy and loves to make me smile. •

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good reads

Four months before her wedding, Yvette Thurman realizes this might be her last chance to have a sexual fling with a white man.

But she never thought placing a personal ad would lead her to discover she was a lesbian.

elf the Sh n o s h a Sist 012 June 2 onth f the M Pick o

Yvette’s small town life in eastern North Carolina never prepared her for the personal journey she undertakes as she struggles to find her heart’s path. Through personal ads and late night visits to an adult bookstore, Yvette learns more about her own personal desires than she ever did when she was engaged to be married. If she embraces her true self, can she find acceptance and love from her family and friends? Or will she be forced to hide who she really is from those she cares about the most?

Available at: www.Jms-Books.com |

www.Amazon.com | www.BN.com

www.ResPublishing.com ISBN - 9781468030105 | Publisher -JMS Books | Publication Date - Jan. 20, 2012 | Cover Price - $14.50

21

SoundSolutions continued

greater power over self. In order to partake in arousal control, a person has to retrain their level of body arousal. First, you should recognize your early triggers on cognitive and somatic levels. Then, try self-soothing techniques such as controlled breathing, meditation, or any relaxation method that will help you cool down. There are several reputable online resources for relaxation techniques. Next, challenge your thinking. Ask yourself questions like ‘Am I overacting?’ or search for other possible explanations. Furthermore, practicing assertiveness and expressing empathy are other important skills to have. Finally, explore the underlying causes of your anger or what brought you to a boiling point. These few considerations will help you on your journey to healthily manage anger.

Remember that everything we do takes time, so give yourself the space to practice all of the above steps.

It’s a process, not an event!

In order to determine if you have an ‘anger management issue,’ I recommend that you contact a clinician. This person can provide you with an accurate assessment. •

People can learn how to express vulnerability and anger. Once you acknowledge and take responsibility for emotions, you can begin to practice assessing situations more practically utilizing problem-solving skills and demonstrating healthy assertiveness.

NEED A SOUNDSOLUTION FROM NIKKI? Email a brief description of your question/issue to: info@ResPublishing.com.

22 reSOUND - Issue 3 of 4 for 2012

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etcetera

writers wanted

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the next issue of reSOUND releases on November 14 contact Resolute: info@ResPublishing.com 24 reSOUND - Issue 3 of 4 for 2012

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