Restoring Life Foundation Magazine Issue 11

Restoring Life Foundation Issue 11

Restoring Lives from Adversity to Destiny

Abuse in the Church

It was for FREEDOM that Christ has set us FREE

Once we decided on the theme of abuse we fully recognised that the topic was not going to be an easy one. This is particularly so because so many women in our network have suffered from varying levels of abuse both in and outside of the church. Re-visiting my own past has required some special reflection and a fresh giving over of any reminisce afresh to God, not least because of the subtle ways control and abuse can slip into the dynamics of a relationship. As always our contributors have been frank about their journeys and have offered some solid suggestions on how you might move beyond not only the pain but also the reality of living in an abusive relationship. Whilst the suggestions are valid, please note that we would encourage you to seek help from those within your church and/or local community who will be much better able to provide the ongoing support you will need should you decide not to stay in your relationship.

Please note that special prayers are going out on your behalf as you seek God for your next step. Trust His word when He says that He will not give you more than you can bear, but will rather provide a way of escape. In addition to that, that He will be with you as you go through the valley of the shadow of death.

Until next time may God bless you richly

The LORD tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence. Psalm 11:5

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Recommended reading

The Abused Cry

O The Good News

FREEDOM

Submission: is it a dirty word?

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Sex at Seven

Life and Death In the tongue

LOOK PAST THE NATURAL

The Abused Prayer

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Dealing with domestic abuse

T COPYRIGHT Š RESTORING LIFE FOUNDATION. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Copyright of articles and photographs in the Restoring Life Foundation Magazine remain with the original contributors, No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form without prior written permission from the copyright owner.

Applications should be made directly to www.restoringlifefoundation.org

RESOURCES FOR WOMEN DEALING LOVE THEM

WITH ABUSE AND THOSE THAT

Non-Christian

The Abused Cry

By The3dwoman

Punched Kicked Slapped tripped Falling down the stairs Who is going to help me?

No one really cares Hair pulled around the room Head hit with a broom On the floor being strangled Body broken like its mangled Can’t you hear me crying?

Can’t you see my tears?

For the peace I’m buying I’m hiding and I’m crouching My life is filled with fears Who will help me, who will they show Who will hear the pain?

My life is stunted, I cannot grow My life is showers pouring rain I’m loosing my mind Going insane NEIGHBOUR cant you hear me crying As I lay here slowly dying The saviour calls you to answer my plea Please someone do care about me

Neighbour

The Abused Cry During the season of my life when I was a victim of domestic violence rather than speak openly about my experiences shame kept the bitter truth hidden. Domestic violence takes many forms however the UK government has defined it as “any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are, or have been, intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. The abuse can encompass, but is not limited to psychological, physical, sexual, financial, emotional.”

Unfortunately many churches are ill equipped to deal with the reality of violence within its congregation and lack the skills to best help women and their families work through these difficulties. Some of the responses Christian women have had from church leaders include: “learn to submit to your husband” “if you would only keep quiet these things wouldn't happen” , “What did you do to make him so angry?” Others have encountered church leaders who fail to respond at all, and bury their head in the sand of church busyness. Through my own personal experience and the many women I have worked with, most often than not, support, comfort and help comes from other women within the church community rather than the establishment itself. You can be one of those women who help to support women in abusive relationships.

5 Things you can do to help a victim of violence 1.

2.

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5.

Pray for them stand alongside victims to ensure they get whatever help they need.

Raise awareness of domestic violence in your church and help establish a confidential support group Help raise emergency funds for women escaping violence Promote healthy relationship skills within families to support marriage and stop violence be fore it starts

5 Facts about Domestic violence 1.

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1.4 million women in the UK are affected by violence every year. There is a chance you will know someone who is in a violent relationship.

Seven women a month are killed by a current or former partner in England and Wales It is estimated many more take their own lives as a result of domestic abuse: every day almost 30 women attempt suicide as a result of experiencing domestic abuse and every week three women take their own lives On average high-risk victims live with domestic abuse for 2.6 years before getting help Domestic abuse has significant psychological consequences for victims, including anxiety, depression, suicidal behaviour, low self-esteem, inability to trust others, flashbacks, sleep disturbances and emotional detachment.

Break The Silence

On Abuse

SUBMISSION Is it a dirty word?

By Ann Lane I witnessed a man with authority in the body of Christ telling his wife “You will do what your told!” when he told her to do something she didn’t want to do. He might have tried to act as if he was jesting but I knew this was the way he conducted his marriage. He like many other men of this generation were tied to the lie that headship, means domination, that submission means manipulation, and wife, means control. Control in the husband wife relationship obfuscates the symbolism it establishes of God and His love relationship with the Church.

Master or servant?

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ow many God fearing women have stayed silent at the hand of an emotional abuser, hidden the truth of a mental abuser or covered the scars made by a physical abuser? What happened to the truth that Jesus released to his disciples when they got caught up in jostling for position Matthew 20:25-28 (AMP) “And Jesus called them to Him and said, You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men hold them in subjection [tyrannizing over them]. Not so shall it be among you; but whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant, And whoever desires to be first among you must be your slave--Just as the Son of Man came not to be waited on but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many [the price paid to set them free].”

This picture that Christ sets as the standard for headship is confirmed in 1 Corinthians 5:21-33, the key here is Christ and His sacrificial life towards His bride the church.

Verse 21 speaks of us submitting to one another in the fear of God, which is prior to speaking of wives submitting to their husbands, but it doesn’t stop here it continues with “as to the Lord”. That is to submit as if you were submitting to the Lord. Would the Lord abuse His bride, mistreat, falsely accuse or deny her good things that are necessary?

There's a resounding No! Would the Lord dominate, manipulate control? There’s another resounding No! He doesn’t call a woman to submit to violence physical, emotional or mental abuse, but he calls her to submit ‘as to the Lord’. A man is called to love his wife nourish and cherish her, just as the Lord does the church.

Abuse? And the Church

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former spouse about his mistreatment.

l Miles in his book, “Domestic Violence, What Every Pastor Needs to Know”, reveals that the theological training and beliefs given to most clergy can actually contribute to increased violence and abuse of the victim.

J Lee Grady in his book “10 lies the church tells women” highlights the shocking epidemic that is not only on the increase in the world but to our shame also in the church.

“Abuse involves denigrating (putting down) the value of the partner, physically, verbally or with body language, hen I was going social isolation, rape and through my own other sexual violations, and struggles with domestic economic marginalization. It abuse, my experience was can involve name-calling. It similar to that of many other accuses the spouse of activiwomen in the church; the pas- ties, sins, and omissions that tor was much more comfort- are in no way true, like acable ignoring what I shared cusing the partner of adultery with him, than he was with without substantiating evidealing with the fact that my dence. This cruelty sinks behusband was abusive. He low the discussion of ideas buried his head in the sand and opinions and desires, and and never even spoke to my calls into question the nature

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of the person. It doesn't recognize the personhood of the spouse. The victim is treated like an enemy that must be conquered, rather than a partner who is loved and valued” John Castle

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hereas the church might be silent or incapacitated over such matters, nevertheless God calls the violent wicked and warns them that violence will destroy them. Proverbs 21:7 “The violence of the wicked will destroy them, because they refuse to do justice.”

“If love does not enforce His will should a mere human think it is right to do so?”

submission the action of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person.

So what about submission? is the pattern that Christ set in motion by leaving heaven for His bride and therefore it is also the pattern He set in motion for husbands towards their wives.

and it is that unity that Christ through His sacrifice wanted to re-create. We will never reveal the greatness that God established in us as long as we continue to treat women Some quote the creative order as if they have inferior value of male followed by female to men and therefore need to as proof of Gods order on the be dominated. Romans 12:2 earth. tells us that we need a renewed mind, one that doesn’t line up with the pattern of our world, but rather one that is hilst the scriplined up with the Kingdom tures clearly of God. Just like Martin Lushow that man was created ther King and Nelson Manherefore submission first and woman second, we dela who fought for equal is not something to shouldn’t put too much imracial rights, I believe that be taken, but rather someportance on the creation orGod created us equal, it was thing to be given, and is a der. To do so would suggest that unity that was present at natural response in a loving that the sun moon stars, birds, relationship. We submit to the outpouring of the Holy fishes and animals, etc beGod’s will for our life in reSpirit at Pentecost and it will sponse to His unconditional cause they all came before be that love and unity in the love shown to us. God does- mankind have a superior pobride that invites the groom to n’t expect us to initiate with sition to mankind. It is man submission, He is the initiator and woman that carry the im- come. we are the responders. This age of God not man alone, ‘Hupotasso’ is the Greek word for submit/obey used in Luke 2:51 (speaking of Jesus to his parents) Eph 5:21,22 (speaking to husbands and wives) This word was a Greek military term meaning "to arrange [troop divisions] in a military fashion under the command of a leader". In non -military use, it was "a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden".

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Therefore, submission that is expressed within a godly relationship which accepts both parties as having equal value and worth, whose parties submit to God as Lord and then to each other can be a wonderful expression of God and His love, and should definitely not be considered a dirty word. Relationships that require women to surrender their will to ungodly control could never represent Christ nor the church He died to establish.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 5:21

By Cheryl Ridener

THE GOOD NEWS Adam and Eve were created equal

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dam and Eve were created equal (Genesis 2), and were given power and dominion over the entire earth. In their perfection Adam was not given dominion over Eve and he does not name her until after the fall. This name Ishshah or Woman points to her origins taken out of man (Genesis 2:23) and the name Eve points to her purpose (Genesis 3:20) Mother of all living.

The Bad News In the book of Genesis not only do we see Gods original intention for men and women in terms of identifying their equality, origin and purpose; but we also see the origins of the first power struggle on the earth and the source of division.

Since the fall in Eden each subsequent power struggle that we encounter throughout our lifetime, re-establishes the same dynamics of dominator and dominated . All power struggles are as a result of abuse of power rather than the holding of power itself. Whilst God is Omnipotent – all powerful, we see neither abuse nor struggling for power within the Godhead. Eve’s grasping came from disbelief in God, His truth and sufficiency. Believing God couldn’t be trusted to give her everything she needed for wisdom and godliness, she sought to get wisdom for herself; even at the cost of disobedience to God who had shown His perfect love to her. She wanted power and control, and through grasping at it, Eve

lost the very thing she desired and in doing so was cursed with being ruled over by her husband.

As a daughter of Eve I praise God the story doesn’t end with (Adam and) Eve being ejected from Eden under the curse of Adam’s rulership. Whilst every plan God creates for mankind is perfectly good, we are sinners and without God being Lord in our lives are woefully selfish and bad.

The Good News As we roll forward to the time of Jesus we are given a completely new picture of God in Christ dealing with women with dignity, kindness and love.

Even for those that the world cast out as adulterers, weaker vessels and of little worth, God redeems and restores. The one that Christ dies for is His bride, the one He goes to the cross for is His church, the one He redeems is His body, all depicted as the female to his male. He does so with grace, with love and with sacrifice.

If you are still living under the bad news, where women were ruled, treated as chattel or living a life of less worth or value than a man let me encourage you with the Freedom Christ came to give you. Dominators whether they are spouses, brothers or fathers are not Gods best for you.

The Freedom programme

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he freedom Programme was established by Pat Craven after many years experience working with perpetrators of domestic violence. Being unconvinced with the many excuses she heard, like stress, tiredness, unemployment, drink, low self esteem or insecurity from perpetrator and fellow professional alike, she discovered that whilst these fact were present, the violent or other inappropriate behaviour did not exhibit itself at all times or in relationships outside of the domestic arena. She in turn discovered that at the root of domestic violence was the male desire to keep women under control. Whilst the Freedom programme is not written from a biblical worldview it includes important information to help women and men who want to better understand the dynamics of an abusive relationships and make informed choices about change. As a first step have a look at the graphics on the pages that follow which identify some key traits to be found in the dominator. If you want to find out more about the work of the Freedom Programme or join a course visit: www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

Copyright Š Pat Craven www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

Copyright Š Pat Craven www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

SEX AT SEVEN

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By Jessica Wright

viting others consumed with spirits of lust to enter in. In the

y very first sexual encounter occurred when I was around seven years of age.

My older brother was in the throes of his teenage years and I’m assuming that sexual experimentation was at the forefront of his mind, Unfortunately for me the lab was my bedroom, and I was the subject. From then on my sexual drive was awoken. I never breathed a word to anyone what had happened to me and did not really think much about its impact on me until about three years ago when I was ministering to a very broken mother of adult children who had recently discovered something similar in her own family, The unveiling of which had led to a rapid disintegration of her entire family. years up to my late teens until I met my first husband I became After this I needed some time to entangled in relationships of a pause and reflect on the journey sexual nature with cousins and I had embarked upon following family friends.

These were of this fateful night. From which I both male and female, somequickly recognised that this inci- times these encounters lasted for dent had operated like some years, for others for several kind of spiritual door opener in- months.

Whilst I have no recollection of ever initiating these encounters, I also have no recollection of ever resisting them, with any resolve. The most difficult of all was my female cousin, one I loved dearly and never wanted

to be involved with sexually but seemed to feel I would lose her love if I ever rebutted her advances. The upshot of all this sexual activity resulted in two abortions and many failed relationships. As I grew older I never seemed to have problems finding men who wanted to

marry me, I often found myself rejecting their love and making excuses to withdraw from relationship with them, only to eventually end up tied to controlling and abusive men. In some twisted way, my first encounter planted a lie within my soul, that lie attributed sex to love. Whilst cognitively I knew that was utter nonsense, my soul continually sought out sexual connection to help me feel good about myself.

This was resolved or so I thought for many years after being born again as I fed on God’s love, with Him I discovered that the exhilaration that I found in sexual relationship with men was met very deeply by Him. However, having pushed these childhood encounters from my conscious mind I had never really taken the time to process them or take them to God in prayer. Over a period of about five years of joyful singleness I felt as if I grew strong enough in the Lord able to tackle almost anything that came my way, however nothing would prepare me for the situation brewing on the horizon that would try to knock me of my perch. “ I ask every one of you not to think of yourself more highly than you should think, rather to think of yourself with sober judgment.. ” Romans 12:3

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situation I understand more clearly the analogy of the fire long period of sickness going out on the coal removed resulted in my inability to from the fire, now more than attend church, socialise with ever I realise my need to stay other Christians and the pain I connected to God and the body was experiencing meant that I that I may be strengthened in was more likely to lay for hours the inner most part of myself. with the television on than read the word. This in itself is almost unbelievable as in the past I once found myself remarking on f you find yourself struggling the high I had through reading with issues raised in this article the word as if it was a love letter let me encourage you that with written just for me.

God’s help you too can move beyond your past mistakes and find As I began to feel better a long new hope in your relationships. lost friend began to show inter- Let me encourage you not to est in me, he was a great friend bury your past pain or your who was having a few problems head in the sand but allow God of his own. It turned out that he in, to pull up the roots of abuse had liked me for many years but no matter how deep they may had not felt it right to tell me un- go. He will unravel every weed til now. I would like to tell you in your life with love, patience that I did everything right the and kindness for His very being first time with him, but that is love. Like the prodigal Father would not be true, my resolve in the account found in Luke was weak and I was back in bad 15:11-32 He is waiting for your habits as those old lies were return to furnish you with a robe again given airing room. How- to cover your shame, shoes of ever over a period of months as I ‘sonship’ and the ring of authorbegan to address the lies and ity. All you need to do is be willminister into the early abuse, we ing to leave the pig sty lifestyle got ourselves into order and our and return to your Father house. relationship eventually became Not only will He welcome you, all that God would hope it to be. but He has promised to celebrate your return.

Being on the other side of this

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You can find some additional help in the article called FREEDOM on pages (22-26) of this magazine, but in the meantime below are some prayers that you might want to pray as a first step to leaving your painful past behind.

Forgiveness of others and self Thank you Jesus for dying that I might be forgiven. I now choose to forgive from my heart and release from my judgement all those who have ever hurt abused or offended me (------) (name on lips) Lord, help me to seek forgiveness from anyone I have hurt or offended. Help me to do this with your love and to bless them.

Father God I ask your forgiveness for things I have wrongly blamed you for in my life. This was wrong and I am sorry Lord, thank you for forgiving me. I choose now to forgive myself for anything that I have blamed on myself. Please help me to come into the release and freedom you want for me.

In Jesus' name

Repentance for Sexual Sin Father God I repent of using my body as an instrument of unrighteousness by (---------) not honouring Your temple, by committing the sin of (adultery/fornication) with(------).I also repent of abusing and wounding (-------), as well as (spouse, children and/ or anyone else affected. I repent of not honouring, valuing or respecting You or myself I forgive (---------) for their involvement in this sinful behaviour and ask you to cleanse my person with your blood and remove the rights given to the enemy from my life.

In Jesus' name

Amen

I pray that God will bless and release you as you seek Him for your freedom.

With Love Jessica Wright

Inspired by Sheri Shepherd

Freedom for every child of God was purchased through Christ death on the cross, however far to few of His children experience the daily reality of that freedom. Whilst there may be a host of reasons for living a below par life, sometimes it is because his children don't really know how to get hold of their freedom , whilst at other times we may not be willing to let go of the hurts that rob us of the abundance Christ died to impart.

Whatever your reason for not quite living free below are some hints to help you obtain your freedom stay free in Christ.

Forgive those who have hurt you The Key to the kingdom of God is forgiveness and without the giving and receiving of it we will be lost for eternity. As such it is the first step on our path to freedom. Not only is it impossible for you to enter into the body of believers without it , but it is also impossible to maintain your freedom without the critical ingredient. 

Matthew 6:14 "If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.

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Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

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Matthew 5:7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

2 Corinthians 3:17

For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

Repent for what you have done wrong The Scripture says a great deal of the mercy of God, and we all have experienced it.

“Truly God is good to all: he is in a special manner good to Israel. He has revealed himself and his grace to them. By his ways we may understand his precepts, the ways he requires us to walk in; and his promises and purposes. He always has been full of compassion. How unlike are those to God, who take every occasion to chide, and never know when to cease! What would become of us, if God should deal so with us? The Scripture says a great deal of the mercy of God, and we all have experienced it. The father pities his children that are weak in knowledge, and teaches them; pities them when they are forward (difficult to deal with), and bears with them; pities them when they are sick, and comforts them; pities them when they are fallen, and helps them to rise; pities them when they have offended, and, upon their submission, forgives them; pities them when wronged, and rights them: thus the Lord pities those that fear him. See why he pities. He considers the frailty of our bodies, and the folly of our souls, how little we can do, how little we can bear; in all which his compassion appears.” (Mathew Henry) 

Proverbs 28:13 Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

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1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

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Isaiah 43:25 ""I--yes, I alone--will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again.

Eliminate the enemies strongholds The battle for our lives is a real one, what many people don't seem to recognise is that that battle begins in our mind. As such, until we get to the place where our thoughts line up with the truth God says about us Freedom will remain elusive. Success therefore comes as we recognise and rid ourselves of the faulty thinking patterns that we have allowed to become strongholds in our minds. 

2 Corinthians 10:5 And we pull down reasonings and every high thing that is exalted against the knowledge of God, and we take all thoughts prisoner to the obedience of The Messiah. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ. Sometimes those arguments are with our past, sometimes with our circumstances, sometimes they are with our relationships, or with our health whatever they are we must pull them down.

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1 Peter 1:14 So you must live as God's obedient children. Don't slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn't know any better then.

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Romans 12:2 Don't copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Enter His presence There is no better place to be revived, renewed refreshed or restored than in the presence of God. The scriptures are absolutely bulging with examples of lives touched and transformed as soon as they encountered God's presence. Sickness, infirmity, guidance, direction and yes even financial problems can be resolved by bringing them to God. Whilst He may not solve your problem the way you either expect nor desire Him too, you can be assured of this one thing, if you call Him He will answer. All you need to do is enter His presence.

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Psalm 95:2 Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise!

Psalm 16:11 You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Isaiah 40:31 but those who keep waiting for the LORD will renew their strength. Then they'll soar on wings like eagles; they'll run and not grow weary; they'll walk and not grow tired."

Do the will of the Father There is a famous song sung by Frank Sinatra in which he says he did it his way. Unfortunately for the millions like him that make those words their life mantra living their way as opposed to Gds ways will cause them to reap consequences that exist beyond their life on earth. True freedom is only found in submitting to the superior knowledge and will of God. 

Ephesians 5:10 and find out what pleases the Lord.

Ephesians 5:17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.

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Galatians 5:16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

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Romans 13:14 Instead, live like the Lord Jesus Christ did, and forget about satisfying the desires of your sinful nature.

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Psalm 37:23 The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.

Operate in your calling There are few things worse than a square peg in a round hole, part of your journey to wholeness and freedom is to break free of others expectations of you and begin to walk in your true identity. To do this effectively you need to spend some time understanding the way God built you so that you are better able to recognise your unique gifts and talents. 

Romans 12:6-8 In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well.

So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. 7If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well.

8If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.

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1 Corinthians 12:4-6 There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us. 1 Corinthians 12:6

Move On Living in the past does n one any favours. God wants us to learn how to put our past mistakes in the right context that of forgiven. T finally embrace our freedom we must therefore learn to let go and let God work the good bad and indifferent together for our good.  

2 Corinthians 5:17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

Isaiah 43:18-19 "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

Forgive those who have hurt you Repent for what you have done wrong

Eliminate the enemies strongholds Enter His presence Do the will of the Father Operate in your calling Move On

Even though I walk through the dark valley of death, because you are with me, I fear no harm. Your rod and your staff give me courage. Psalm 23:4

By Cheryl Ridener

You Fool

Evil

You disgust me

Love and Gratitude

Thank You

Peace

Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

Ephesians 4:29

LOOK PAST THE NATURAL

By Yolanda Ballard

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hings aren't what they appear to be.

Do not look at the circumstances surrounding your situation, but look to Me the author and finisher of your faith. Do not judge your situation as if you are losing the battle or not by how you are handling it.

Do not judge it by saying you do not have the victory over it, because you do not feel that you are overcoming through it the way you would l i k e .

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on't you know that all things work together for your good because you are Mine, and all of your steps are ordered by Me? I AM your loving Father, and I AM concerned about your attitude that you have as you walk out your trials. Cast all your care upon Me for I care for you. Be anxious for nothing, but in all things ask of Me, and I will reply graciously. But remember that it is all in My timing will you see the answers to your prayers manifest for I AM working in you endurance.

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es, I AM preparing you so that I can do a mighty work through you for yes, these are the latter days, and I promised you that I would pour out the rain.

An outpouring of signs and wonders and miracles I will do through you. So do not fret that you feel you are not overcoming the way you would like to be. Remember that I AM in control of all things, and let Me be the judge of your a c t i o n s .

I lead you and guide you into all truth, and I deliver you always from the snare of the fowler. I cover you with a blanket of My glory. I engulf you in My grace, and I bless you with all good things, because you are Mine. Look up for your redemption is drawing nigh. Yes, I AM drawing you closer to Me and preparing you for My return, for you are My bride, and I embrace you with My love. Yes, I love you so and long for the time when we will be together in glory. It is sooner than you think.

Prepare your heart by examining your attitude towards others and toward what I allow you to go through. Refrain from murmuring and com-

plaining.

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ount your blessings.

Do not allow the enemy to rob you by focusing on the negative circumstances. Yes, count your

blessings one by one, and be grateful for I AM your loving Father and I supply all your needs. and the times will be treacherous, but keep My word in your heart and

keep Me before you always. Yes, even those things that might not be comfortable or pleasant at present. Look to Me and not to your own strength to endure for I

AM stretching you and preparing you.

You are about to run your final stretch of the race. Yes, it will be hard.

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each out to Me, and I will keep you safe, for I cover you with a multitude of angelic hosts that surround you always. Yes, they are assigned to lead you and guide you through the storm and protect you.

Yes, I keep My promises for I AM faithful. These are the latter days and you are My people, therefore, you are victorious. You are mighty warriors. You will overcome because I say that you will. Keep My word in your heart. Do not look at the circumstances, because things are not what they appear to be.

Now just trust Me, says your God.

Dealing with domestic abuse By the Restoring Life Foundation Team

Leaving a relationship is never an easy decision, the fact that it is abusive doesn’t take away from the fact that you most likely entered the relationship in the first place because you loved your partner. This is a decision that you and you alone need to make, whilst friends and family can give you their opinions, you must follow your own heart, after all you not them will have to deal with the consequences.

Get yourself informed, understand what domestic abuse is and what it is not. There are many useful resources such as www.hotpeachpages.net/ Women’s Aid website, books including living with the Dominator by Pat Craven that can help you identify and confirm your suspicions either way.

Hard as it may be decide what you want to do about it. Make the best decision you can for all involved, take particular care when children are involved as domestic abuse can have a long term impact on their lives.

So you want to leave?

Make a plan of when and how to leave, to do this: 

Develop an escape plan which does not include confronting your abuser, leaving is

best done when you know your abuser will not be around.

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Contact your local domestic abuse women's shelter, and find out what to do in a crisis Keep evidence of physical abuse, this might be in a journal or diary, keep it in a safe place, and out of sight of the abuser.

Keep your mobile phone on or near you, and ensure you have important telephone numbers.

Gather important documents: passports, court papers, welfare benefits, details of GP and/ or other medical records, birth certificates, driver's license, car registration documents ,mortgage or lease details, bank details and cards.

If injured, go to the doctor, report what happened and document the visit.

Plan with your children, and identify a safe place for them to go for help.

Try to set aside some money which is easily accessed ensure it is enough for transport in an emergency.

Keep a bag packed with keys, toiletries and an extra set of clothing for yourself and your children.

There may be very small items you will want to pack for yourself and your children, jewellery, photographs that have special meaning, the toy that your child cant sleep without, etc.

So you want to stay? 

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Teach your children how to call the emergency services if you get hurt If you have a friend or neighbour nearby that you trust let them know about your circumstances and let your children know they can go to them , should the need arise.

Rehearse an escape plan, so in an emergency you and the children can get away safely.

Decide where you could go in an emergency.

If you are part of an supportive church seek their assistance as well as support from other groups that specialise in helping women in domestic abuse situations If you are in immediate danger, call the police.

Practice self care — you could try some of the following: find some time in your day to relax and unwind; attend your dental and medical appointments; eat a healthy diet; exercise regularly; write a journal (before you journal think about how you will keep your journal private).

The Abused Prayer— Psalm 140 Rescue me, Lord, from evildoers; protect me from the violent, who devise evil plans in their hearts and stir up war every day. They make their tongues as sharp as a serpent’s; the poison of vipers is on their lips. Keep me safe, Lord, from the hands of the wicked; protect me from the violent, who devise ways to trip my feet. The arrogant have hidden a snare for me; they have spread out the cords of their net and have set traps for me along my path.

I say to the Lord, “You are my God.” Hear, Lord, my cry for mercy. Sovereign Lord, my strong deliverer, you shield my head in the day of battle. Do not grant the wicked their desires, Lord; do not let their plans succeed. Those who surround me proudly rear their heads; may the mischief of their lips engulf them. May burning coals fall on them; may they be thrown into the fire, into miry pits, never to rise.

May slanderers not be established in the land; may disaster hunt down the violent. I know that the Lord secures justice for the poor and upholds the cause of the needy. Surely the righteous will praise your name, and the upright will live in your presence.

Tel: + 44 (0) 7562 216916 Email: restoringlife@ymail.com Web: WWW.RESTORINGLIFEFOUNDATION.ORG Restoring Life Foundation RestLFoundation