PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | MARCH 5 - 12, 2020

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FROM THE EDITOR

OK, so now what?

I

n the aftermath of the city announc- prevailing issue here. So what if the only loing plans to house the nation’s first cation was a place for a mobile unit to reside safe injection facility in South Phil- while doing the work of trying to get people adelphia, we as a newsroom brain- into recovery was the issue? stormed how we’d best go about coverSeems a lot easier to figure out. ing whether or not this was going to be There’s blood mobiles, eye mobiles, there’s a good call or a drastic one. even a bus that travels to help end gun vioWe spent the latter part of an hour lence, so why can’t Safehouse go mobile? Is there a bigger picture I’m missing here? And in discussion. please don’t suggest privacy considering peoLess than 24 hours later, we realized we ple suffering from addiction can find any place spent that time for nothing. to use. I think getting the help Safehouse says With the city pressing pause on Safehouse following the NIMBY response from South it can provide outweighs the proposed embarPhiladelphians who took to the streets to cel- rassment or privacy one loses from going inside the bus. ebrate the fallout of the launch on Sunday, we To me, it’s no different than going into a are back to square one on where the city will treatment facility or methadone house this unorthodox approach to clinic. curbing the opioid crisis. As of toWe don’t know if Safehouse day, neighbors in both the open-air would cause an impact on the epidrug areas of Kensington and South demic plaguing city streets because Philadelphia said “no fucking way” we’ve never been able to get it off to a plan that proposes it will actualthe ground. While I could see where ly help scores of people living with neighbors in South Philly were addiction in the city. coming from, it was a bit alarmWhile I kept a close eye on the ing watching them coming out in progress, I kind of assumed all droves in celebration of something along it would never work in South that is proposed to help.

Philly. The first is location. The One of the people in our Facelargest open-air market is on the book discussion perhaps said it best: other side of town. You’re going to “The trick, no matter where ask people who cop under the EL to [Safehouse] opens, will be getting get on the train, transfer to the sub @SPRTSWTR people to use them when stigma is at City Hall and then ride the rails great enough that thousands of prodown to all but three stops on the testers are willing to show up to protest someBroad Street Line to use safely? thing that would save lives and give access to That’s just not happening. health care services.”

I posed that question on Facebook this week It’s a really good point. and was reminded that South Philly has a You can build it, but will they come if the lonumber of locations in that area that look just cation isn’t convenient? That’s why I think if as rampant as what you’d find up by Kensington and Allegheny, Front and Girard – or the city and Safehouse truly want this to jump off they should consider the mobile approach. anywhere under the EL tracks up North, reHow much greater is the cost? How much safally. Also, one person noted that South Philly has the issue of users who actually are dying er is it for the neighborhood – and the person solo in their homes, as opposed to Kensington, suffering from addiction? How can you justify this and still ease the minds of taxpaying Philwhere people tend to form in groups to use adelphians who want to curb the crisis as long and thus can react more quickly to an overas that curb isn’t their backyard? dose.

This is the second time in the past year An interesting point if there’s data to supSafehouse has come into a neighborhood, port it. proposed a plan and found it shot down in the Look, I don’t have a solution to the problem, but I do have an idea. What if Safehouse 11th hour. So where does that group go from wasn’t a house but a fleet of mobile units? I here? Right now, we don’t know. And I think in the aftermath of what went down last Sunthink the notion of a brick and mortar locaday from Philadelphians opposed to the very tion and the stigma of “oh, you got that [insert adjective here] in your neighborhood,” is the notion, it’ll be awhile before we do.

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STATE OF OUR CITY

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$54 million That’s how much owners of properties sold to them by the city for $1 have been able to collectively flip and make a profit off of with either vacant lots or structures in need of renovation.

According to an Inquirer report, over 2,000 properties have been sold for just a buck since the beginning of the new millenia. Of those, an estimated 800 have been flipped for over $50 million.

Don’t even get us started on how many of those properties sit on land that also has been abated.

Actually, Milkboy the Studio will, we’re merely the muse for the legendary studio’s release of the top 100 rock bands of all-time.

If you want to see the list and discuss, visit milkboy.tv/the-list and leave your comment there. Milkboy tells us that the team is currently working on a follow-up featuring a countdown of the top hip-hop acts of all time, a list PW plans host across all of our platforms once the dust has settled on what we’re sure is one hell of a debate session inside Milkboy’s N. 7th St. studios.

MARCH 5 - 12, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

CITY

Explain to us how...

Multiple people either fail to realize or are so coldhearted to care they just ran over a human body? Furthermore, how TF does the arm of that human end up miles away from the scene of the accident in Fox Chase? Here’s hoping by the time this gets read the family of 29-year-old Alexandra Ridgway has some answers.

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STATE OF OUR CITY

Wow, Bilal, Wow

Rochelle Bilal vowed to “remove the dark cloud” that has loomed over the Philadelphia Sheriff’s Office for decades, but it would appear that she’s taking her sweet time getting to it. On Tuesday, Brett Mandel, appointed as the sheriff’s chief financial officer, was fired after calling her out for her usage of funds derived primarily from sheriff’s sales. Mandel suggested Bilal was treating the money like her own “slush fund,” and Bilal had him escorted out of the office by deputies. Looks like new dog, old tricks when it comes to the sheriff’s office on South Broad.

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Philly: Keep calm and wash your hands Everyone is bugging out over the Coronavirus.

Masks are flying off the shelves and bottled water is being purchased at alarming rates across the country.

People, chill the fuck out, and here’s why. At the time of this report, numbers from the CDC show that over 16,000 Americans have died from influenza – yes, the common flu – this flu season. Coronavirus? Six. COVID-19 isn’t going to potentially kill you anymore than the regular flu would, so keep calm, leave the face masks for the doctors and nurses who truly need them and please, please … wash your damn hands.

OVERHEARD IN PHILLY

“He’s either the smartest guy on the planet or the front office, and we as Sixers fans have all been taken for a bunch of complete idiots.”

— He is Joel Embiid, who was the topic of conversation among Sixers fans inside the Wells Fargo Center during last Thursday’s win over the lowly New York Knicks. The Sixers are currently on a four-game West Coast trip without their star center, who is back in Philadelphia nursing yet another injury. Keep in mind this is year No. 2 of Embiid’s fiveyear, $148 million contract extension he signed in 2017.

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The live hip-hop and R&B scene hasn’t had a home base for a long time. Now, it has The Ave Live. Image | Courtesy Benni Black

HIP-HOP HAVEN Live hip-hop and R&B have a new home base: The Ave Live

“W

BY A.D. AMOROSI

MARCH 5 - 12, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

hat I am fearful for is the next generation,” said Philadelphia rapper, craft brew entrepreneur and local hip-hop ambassador Chill Moody.

Packing his bags, readying for travel to South By Southwest’s music fest, and making plans for the March 6 drop of his newest single, “Jawn to the Left,” with fellow Philly MCs Peedi Crakk and Hank McCoy, Moody is considering how his career – and that of his collaborators – started a decade ago with the benefit of live venues whose focus was hip-hop, musically and culturally.

“We haven’t had that for a minute, haven’t felt represented by or with a home base for live performance.”

Live hip-hop in Philadelphia, live R&B in

Philadelphia, live African-Americans’ music in Philadelphia beyond jazz hasn’t really had a home base in some time.

I’m not talking about Live Nation’s commitment to The Roots’ annual picnic, Made in America, or any of its bookings at The Met, The Fillmore and Theatre of Living Arts.

Or Bowery Presents/AEG to Franklin Hall, or Union Transfer or Ardmore Music Hall.

Those venues are dedicated to bringing in name hip-hop and R&B acts on occasion, and that’s great.

Rather, a venue focused on hip-hop and R&B, national and local – something geared to the music and culture – is a must, yet one with a surprising void in this town considering that: a) The African-American population of Philadelphia and its surrounding areas

such as Yeadon, Darby and Chester make up around 45 percent of the city b) The entire roster of Philadelphia International Records and its famed Sound of Philadelphia, the Ruffhouse label, Schoolly D, Frankie Beverly and Maze, Lil Uzi Vert, Bilal, John Legend, Jill Scott, Meek Mill, Bahamadia, Musiq Soulchild, Boys II Men, Res. Kindred and The family Soul, Jazzyfatnastees, Ursula Rucker, Ryva, Lady Alma.

I can do this all day.

The Blockley in West Philadelphia, the space that Moody is referring to, ended in 2013 after a four-year run. Eighth Street Lounge has been gone for years. Sigma Sound Studios’ live loft sessions disappeared when the historic venue was sold for condo rights. What was last Reserve at 724 Arch, an address that housed several live hip-hop venues in its time,

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now doesn’t. The incubator that was the Five Spot with its Black Lily events died when the famed Old City venue burned. Warmdaddy’s on Columbus Blvd picks up some old-school slack in the soul and blues department, and r make upSilk City still hosts the occasional MC. Still, when all is said and done, who and elphia In-where is the local space to represent hip-hop Sound of and R&B music and culture, more than a litSchoollytle?

Uzi Vert, “I was conscious of that void, you know, k Mill, Ba-and thought that maybe I could help close that Men, Res.gap.” atnastees, That’s Derek Dorsey, talking about booking and managing The Ave Live, a new, large, 1,800-person venue at the corner of Spring phia, theGarden Street and Delaware/Christopher Coded in 2013lumbus Boulevard that, since its opening date et Lounge– Thanksgiving Eve, 2019 – has booked the legound Stu-endary hip-hop likes of Wu Tang Clan’s Methwhen theod Man and Redman, reggae rap dancehall gights. Whatant Movado, up-and-coming Philly rapper and dress thatproducer Joie Kathos, and a slew of DJs. n its time, Starting in March, The Ave Live’s hip-hop

7

The Ave Live is a new, 1,800-person venue at the corner of Spring Garden and Delaware/Christopher Columbus Boulevard. Image | Courtesy Benni Black

and R&B focus will truly commence with singer k. Michelle (March 8), the rescheduled Yasiin Bey (Mos Def) show with Talib Kweli, Slick Rick, M.O.P. and Pharoahe Monch (March 20), Dave East with Styles P (March 28), Jay Electronica on the heels of his long-awaited debut album, with Smiff N’ Wessun (April 3), a Capone and Noriega show with possible Philly guests Beanie Segal and Freeway (April 10), Jeezy (April 17), the 80s rap Alumni Tour featuring Special Ed, Chubb Rock, Monie Love, Kwame, Dan D, and Nice & Smooth (April 18), Busta Rhymes (April 24), The Wailers (April 25), Rich da Kid (May 1), Marsh Ambrosius and Mumu Fresh (May 2), an old school disco soul showcase with Wardell Piper, the Ritchie Family and Denise Montana (May 9), Raheem Devaughn’s Mothers’ Day show (May 10), the avant-funk of the Robert Glasper Trio (May 16), a reunion of the Juice Crew featuring all original members (May 22) a DJ Steve Aioki live presentation with several rappers in SEE THE AVE, PAGE 8

The Ave Live’s hip-hip and R&B focus really kicks off this month with performances from a number of well-known artists. Image | Courtesy Benni Black

Image | Courtesy Benni Black

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tow (May 23), and tentative dates with Snoop Dogg, Trey Songz, Eryka Badu (AKA Loretta Brown), Joey Badass, Meghan Thee Stallion, India.Arie and Stephan Marley on hold, or under serious contention.

“If Derek had his way, there’d be a few more Dead bands in that schedule,” said Joe Grasso, the venue’s co-owner and one-time operator (when it was Egypt, during the ‘90s club heyday of Delaware Avenue), with a laugh. To that end, yes, there are several jam bands slipped into The Ave Live’s mix such as May 8’s Box of Rain show with Panama Dead.

Dorsey, a one-time booker at Electric Factory and Underground Arts, also stated that there is EDM in his roots, and to that end, will welcome the Philly electro-dance DJ contingent, Making Time, who will, in turn, welcome the moody and angular singer and electro-tinged producer Arca to the venue on May 2.

The plan, where Dorsey is concerned, has always been to make each night an event, “from the front door to when you leave The Ave Live,” with the venue featuring everything from DJs between sets, motion graphics, and full multi-act bills rather than one-act nights. Thinking back to his time running The Fire on Girard Avenue – an intimate hole-inthe-wall he booked from like the 1700s onto the mid-2000s, Dorsey was the type of guy who would cram each night and stage with punk

bands, roots bands, rappers with live musicians, an acoustic singer-songwriter or two, and whoever else could fit into an 8pm to 2am slot.

If I called Derek Dorsey Philly’s African-American answer to Ed Sullivan, the variety show television host famed for cramming jugglers, fire-eaters, ventriloquists and opera singers next to giants such as The Beatles, I wouldn’t be off the mark.

“I don’t want you or any audience to ever be bored, “ said Dorsey.

With that, he looked back to November and the intended big name opening of The Ave Live – the Yasiin Bey/Talib Kweli show that was cancelled by Bey at the last minute.

The literal last minute. As in hours before the show.

“At the time, it made us look shaky – you know, big name act not showing up,” said the booker with a laugh. “A cancelation at a big established venue would have been of no consequence. But, for a young independent venue? We got questioned as to our validity. It wasn’t a good look.”

All this, mind you, after Dorsey and & Co. had to wait through the complications of getting a liquor license, only to have L&I finally give it to The Ave Live on Thanksgiving Eve at 4 pm. “We then had to go out and buy booze for 1,800 people – a sold out show – on the busiest booze-buying night of the year,” said DorsSEE THE AVE, PAGE 10

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‘There is an incredible void here … no room for hip-hop or R&B and such emerging music, so, we went into The Ave Live with the philosophy of this being urban, an urban venue, with live entertainment,’ said Derek Dorsey, booker and manager of The Ave Live.

Image | Courtesy Benni Black

THE AVE, FROM PAGE 8 ey.

Still, one of the best things about Yasiin Bey cancelling the show then, and rescheduling for March, is that it allowed Dorsey and his crew the time and momentum to book something of a “Black Woodstock,” a bill featuring fellow rap giants such as Slick Rick, M.O.P. and Pharoahe Monch.

“That’s my philosophy … make it big ... make a show out of it,” said Dorsey. “Talib Kweli and Mos Def will do individual sets as well as a Black Star reunion. The rest of the bill is huge. This became my dream show. I’ve been doing this my whole life, and this is the best show I have ever booked. Ever.”

That statement is quite something considering Dorsey’s pedigree, and even that of Grasso, the family real estate owner and developer who helped put Delaware Avenue on the map with Egypt, and giant glittering multi-media/

MARCH 5 - 12, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

multiracial/all sexualities welcome nightclubs on the city’s horizon with Shampoo.

Oddly enough, for two men in the small town/big city Philadelphia music business since the 1990s, neither man knew each other, or had ever even met.

After having run The Fire until 2015, then working for Electric Factory and Underground Arts – all for somebody else – Dorsey wanted something of his own. He could’ve stayed an independent booking agent, getting his cut off the top, but, that gets old as we get older and there‘s little that stays fun about the freelance hustle after 30 years.

“I looked at the 700 Club in Northern Liberties, and put in a bid as their upstairs was just the right Tin Angel size that I thought I could manage,” said Dorsey who also eyeballed Fishtown’s The Barbary and the shuttered J.C. Dobbs/Pontiac Grill/Dobbs space on South Street.

At this same time, Dorsey’s friend and real estate developer Sam Stanford – the young-

er brother of Town Hall’s George Stanford, a roots rocking pop stalwart of The Fire’s stages – had made a new neighbor in Joe Grasso, the legendary one-time owner of everything from the Curtis Center to properties along Spring Garden such as the abused Egypt address.

Since its closing in 2002, 520 N. Christopher Columbus Blvd. has gone through several leasees, such as Soundgarden Hall and Indie; “venues that used the space, and had to cut and run because they were over their heads,” said Dorsey in defense of the then-unoccupied address.

Grasso too wanted to see his disco ball hall with a loving new tenant, someone as dedicated to multi-racial, multi-sexuality based entertainment as he had been at Egypt and Shampoo. Yes, Grasso’s real estate development company is now more famous for shopping centers and office buildings in the suburbs, as well as senior housing/age restricted apartment properties in Downingtown, Doylestown, and soon, on Spring Garden

Street, right across from The Ave Live (which actually has the potential of Grasso becoming his own nuisance bar – ha ha), but he still likes to breath in the smoke machine air of a nightclub.

“I’m a fool … a damned fool,” exclaimed Grasso with a loud laugh about coming back to the Philadelphia club business after being away for nearly 20 years.

What brought these two together, beyond business, was the idea that the African-American market (or at least its music, let’s not pretend that Caucasian, Asian and Latin markets don’t love hip-hop), in Philadelphia was being woefully underserved.

“There is an incredible void here ... no room for hip-hop or R&B and such emerging music, so, we went into The Ave Live with the philosophy of this being urban, an urban venue, with live entertainment,” said Dorsey. “Urban pop, R&B and hip-hop – even comedy – we’re embracing all of that, and making it the largest part of our schedule.”

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Dorsey goes on to mention Philadelphia being home to the Gamble/Huff/Bell legacy in the past, and Meek Mill and Tierra Whack in the present, and that there is no steady space in their hometown to hear that classic music, new or old.

“There is no place to hear hip-hop and R&B on the regular, national or local, or to develop acts,” noted Dorsey. The Ave Live is going to push for national acts, to make sure there is local talent on every national bill, and to give locals such as the aforementioned Joie Kathos (of “Gone” and “Faded” fame) their own nights. “I don’t want locals to feel like icing on a cake … I’d like us to help build careers,” he said.

Remembering that Dorsey’s The Fire promoted and played host to early shows from Philadelphia soul men such as Amos Lee and John Stephens – who would go on to become John Legend – and I’d say making room for emerging artists is his bag.

“We’re courting hip-hop and R&B acts, new and old, as I have had relationships with managers and artists around the country since The Fire. From New York City to down South, a lot of people want to be a part of what we’re doing here because hip-hop and R&B hasn’t had a steady home in this city for a while.”

Grasso goes on to note that his history and his venues are tools in place for all levels of diversification.

“Egypt and Shampoo was black, gay, straight, Asian and Latin,” he said. “So is The Ave Live. We even like the whites too,” he laughed. “The Ave Live is multi-racial by design. We’re not NOTO, all high-end, and bottle service-focused (Grasso noted that many of Shampoo’s old floor guys are managers at NOTO). We’re for everybody. If The Ave Live becomes THE African American club in Philly I’m happy. The shows so far have been great.

That community is supporting us, and we love that.”

Grasso lived through the messiness that ive (whichwas Delaware Avenue – fights and all-around becomingclub stupidity – Dorsey knew going in to The e still likesAve Live that Philadelphia youth have a vioof a night-lence rate that is nearly second to none. Knowing that you can’t patrol the planet like it’s a exclaimedpolice state, the booker stated that he’s proming backactively looking to keep a cool headed atmofter beingsphere at all costs.

“No matter if we’re hosting the Lil Babys of er, beyondthe world or the older hip-hop acts like Busta can-Amer-Rhymes, we’re presenting artists where their ’s not pre-culture is cool, mature. Plus, we’re actually n marketstaking precautions and talking to the artists was beingin advance, and having conversations with management about all issues. We’re sensitive .. no roomof artists’ creativity, but, we want to eliminate ing music,risk, as much as possible. We want to elimh the phi-inate any negativity, be mad chill and cool. an venue,You’d be a real asshole to disturb that, to fuck ey. “Urbanup a safe space such as this. You can keep riff dy – we’reraff out. We’re not NOTO.” t the larg- TWO NOTO disses in one story. Dag. So The Ave Live will be the first Philly live

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Those behind The Ave Live are using the Apollo Theater and its 105 years in the business as a model for their business. Image | Courtesy Benni Black club, in a minute, that will represent hip-hop music and hip-hop culture, along with R&B, more than a little. It’s a room for urban Philadelphia, geared toward some of this city’s most historically innovative and inventive black music.

“The Ave Live is a safe space and a full entertainment experience that embraces the rich history of African American music,” said Dorsey. “Seriously, I’m using the Apollo Theater and its 105 years in the business as a model.”

Chill Moody puts that model into a more modern, local perspective as to where hip-hop could and should stand in this city.

Ask Philly’s rap emissary about when he last felt represented by a home base, and said, “There was a good time for Philly hip-hop when The Blockley was up, a breeding ground for a lot of MCs currently making music,” he said of the West Philly space that lasted between 2009 and 2013. “Tierra Whack got her feet wet there when she was writing under a

different name (A.D. note: the moniker was “Dizzle Dizz”), Shawn Smith, back when he was Young Savage, was ripping it up down there.”

Along with bringing up the Blockley and the Sigma Sound lounge series’ devotion of new voices, Moody recalls that mid-2000s time as being one where “I felt not just representation, but, as if the whole of the city was behind what we were creating.

It shows too because so many of those people who came out of that scene are doing it successfully now.”

Going back to our cover’s start, what Moody fears going forward is the lack of nurturing spaces for hip-hop’s culturalism.

“It’s been spotty since then,” said Moody.

“The Blockley was a statement. I don’t mean disrespect to anyone else who is trying, but, maybe they weren’t part of the culture.”

For Moody, the promise of what The Ave Live can bring is empowering. And hopeful.

“It’s a dope space – was always a dope space,

even when its venues came and went. That might have been its problem it had before it became The Ave Live – those who came and went didn’t give it an identity. One night they were live, and the next they were pushing people to buy sections and bottles. What is the identity beyond bottles? What’s there for the culture.”

Though Moody won’t announce plans or dates for The Ave Live, the rapper has met with The Ave Live’s crew, and knows what they have in store is promising.

“They are people of the culture. They understand what we need to make a new scene,” said Moody. And what does The Ave Live need to do next to make it happen for real?

“They need to listen,” said Moody. “They need to read this article. They need to seek out more people within the culture, and pick their brain. Have the conversations. Then they need to implement all that.”

@ADAMOROSI PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | MARCH 5 - 12, 2020

12

GOSSIP

Image | Gonzalo Remy on Unsplash

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Too much pride?

Hubris is as dangerous as any flu

H

icepack MARCH 5 - 12, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

Oliver during the broadcast. ubris. In the hallowed halls of Greek tragedy, it stands for an For those not keeping score (and Oliver excessive pride toward, or, defidid a nice update on this during the Phanatic ance of the gods. It’s confidence segment), the Phillies are fighting the original without responsibility, or somedesigners behind the mascot, Bonnie Ericktimes, even knowledge. son and Wayde Harrison, who claim that the Like, is it not hubris to claim team’s copyright on the blue thing is up in that warm weather will slow the roll of the June. According to federal law, after 35 years, Coronavirus without a true clue to a cure? copyrights are eligible to be redrawn. That Was it not hubris for Flyer Sean Couturier to makes the Phanatic the ultimate free agent. have jumped out of bed with the flu on Dag. We just spent money on that pricSunday just to play under 20 minutes ey make-over. at the Garden? He could have infected New Uzi Vert album?

BY A.D. Carter Hart, the whole lot (luckily, the If you’re like me and love Philly AMOROSI hip-hop at its weirdest, you’re thinkFlyers won, and Sean scored goal 21 of the season. BUT STILL). ing, “Damn, I wish that Lil Uzi Vert Wasn’t it just hubris, Jim Kenney would worry less about those Instathinking it was OK to sneak a Safegram fit pics and get to finishing that house injection site into a South Philly neigh- new album.” Not since 2017’s “Luv is Rage borhood filled with kids daycare centers and 2,” has Uzi Vert dropped a full-length, despite high schools without bothering to tell resi- three years’ worth of promises that “Eternal dents or fellow elected officials.? Acting polit- Awake” was coming out momentarily (I keep ically without transparency is hubris. Get to hearing Tina Fey’s “30 Rock” “half-hour” joke know that word, Philly. There’s a rash of it in my head in reference to air flight stalling). going around, and it’s just as viral and dangerEarlier this week, though, Uzi might’ve ous as any flu. moved closer to fine with a new track titled New Phanatic gig?

“That Way.” Sampling Backstreet Boys’ “I Speaking of the Flyers, two weeks ago, GritWant It That Way,” Uzi didn’t have to take too ty was the target of HBO host John Oliver much time away from his Gram fashion pasduring his titular “Last Week Tonight.” On sion with lyrics like “Twenty-five hundred Sunday, however, it was our Phillie Phanatic for my shirt, what the tag say?” and dropping that got the jab, only this time, it came with an brand references to “Raf Simons.” While optimistic caveat: to become the official mas“That Way” is his new single since “Futsal cot of “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver” Shuffle 2020,” he has dropped collabs with Lil if, indeed the deliberations as to its ownership Baby, A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie, Young Thug rights go South. and Yo Gotti, along with several solo cuts such “That’s right, Phanatic. Your new team is as “Free Uzi” and “New Patek.” ready and waiting for you here… we’ve spent Concert deals money on things way stupider than this,” said When you were busy pulling daisies at the

GOSSIP

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

nd Oliver e Phanatic he original nie ErickImage | Jeffrey Buchbinder on Unsplash m that the g is up in r 35 years, awn. That Philadelphia Flower Show, the Mann Center ree agent. and Live Nation entered into an undisclosed that pric- but long-term deal for concerts and festivals.

That’s cool. It means a switch away from the Mann’s one-time exclusive partner AEG/Bowove Philly ery Presents, the primary concert promoter ’re think- (and chief Live Nation competition) they’ve Uzi Vert had since 2011. ose Insta- So what’s this mean for previously 2020 shing that booked shows with Nick Cave (Bowery Presv is Rage ents) and Avett Bros (Point Entertainment/ th, despite BoweryPresents)? Biz as usual, so far. It also t “Eternal probably means that Live Nation’s search for ily (I keep a venue to replace Festival Pier – the one-time hour” joke home to Hoagie Nation and The Roots Picstalling). nic, both at The Mann this May, is over. Plus, might’ve there’s a fun new fest, Philly Funk Fest, on the rack titled bill for June 6 with Chic featuring Nile RodgBoys’ “I ers, Cameo and the Dazz Band. o take too Last but not least in the addition of Downstage shion pas- @ the Mann, a 300-seat cabaret on the Presser hundred Stage in the TD Pavilion. Choreographer Bill d dropping T. Jones‘ Deep Blue Sea with the Arnie Zane s.” While Company debuts that stage May 8. More as it ce “Futsal comes. bs with Lil Lounge culture ung Thug When exec chef Jay Ho opens Mei Mei on cuts such S. 2nd Street on March 12, it may (may?) burst with the fruits of a mod Taiwanese menu with several twists on rib dishes and duck bao sies at the buns. OK, it’s a restaurant.

But, with its velvet walls, its love of lucky cats (I won’t spoil the surprise) and its devotion to vibrant, acid-psych-soaked deep purples, pinks and reds – to say nothing of an opulent cocktail list – for all practical purposes, Mei Mei is an old-school Old City lounge the likes of which we haven’t truly witnessed since that area’s hyper-lounge movement of the mid-to-late ‘90s. That movement started out great, delicious, decadent etc., and got wonky wobbly in a flash. Let’s make lounge culture great again, Mei Mei. St. Oner’s On a slightly less chic, yet no less stylized tip (blame the Green Hornet-meets-The Riddler luminescence and the black and white everything else), Ardmore’s Tired Hands Brewing Co. is soft opening St. Oner’s on Frankford Avenue right across from its seasonal beer garden, which, if the weather stays at 60 degrees, should open soon. If St., Oner’s looks familiar, it is: It’s the old Pickled Heron BYOB in a Fishtown rowhome. St. Oner’s menu is Chinese-influenced and they’re serving wine and kombucha along with Tired Hands’ own tagline “strange and beautiful” beers.

Pink Sweat$ West Philadelphia soul singer, rapper and songwriter Pink Sweat$ made a splash independently releasing 2019 EPs such as “Volume 1” and “Volume 2.” Just signed to Atlantic,

13

Sweat$ is releasing a new single, “17,” this week along with a video that you can find at https://pinksweats.lnk.to/17Video.

Sweat$, planning his debut full-length LP for later this summer, has not laid dormant since his EPs, as he’s dropped an “Honesty (Remix) with Jessie Reyez], jumped on a track with K-pop sensation Crush’s “I Wanna Be Yours,” and a holiday death duet with the late Donny Hathaway with “This Christmas.” Pink Sweat$ – macabre, but definitely a master of modern romantic R&B. WHOWHATWHERE Looks like Philly-based director and “Servant” executive producer M Night Shyamalan has to do everything. Last week, he jumped behind the camera for an episode of his Apple TV+ series, filming stars Rupert Grint and Lauren Ambrose along 21st and Spruce, and even running off to buy Ambrose a birthday cake. That man is tireless.

This stuff was all over Instagram so fuck my spies, but, between last week’s eating at a Bear, Delaware, Wawa and a more-recent second Wayne, PA spotting (the home base of close-as-close pal Xander Ritz’s parents) in as many months, Harry Styles might as well get a pad in town. We’d love to have you.

@ADAMOROSI PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | MARCH 5 - 12, 2020

14

EVENTS

Green

beer for everyone!

Promo your St. Patrick’s Day event RIGHT HERE

T

ime is running short to Check that, PW will publish a roundup make sure your joint is of all of the celebratory St. Patrick Day jumping on St. Patrick’s events in Philadelphia we’re told about.

Day. You only have until toIt will be a grand, magnificent list of morrow, March 6, to make everything from bar crawls to special PW’s ultimate St. Patrick’s entrees at local restaurants.

Day party list.

Want to be included on that list? It’s The big day is approaching quickly – easy. it’s Tuesday, March 17.

Simply send an email to mail@philaThat means people are delphiaweekly.com telling us making plans right now. what your bar, pub, restauThey are deciding where rant, etc. has planned for St.

BY EUGENE they will spend St. Patrick’s Patrick’s Day. Make your ZENYATTA Day – meaning they’re debest pitch to our readers as ciding where they will be to why they should show up spending their money that at your place and spend their day. hard-earned money with you.

Will they spend it with your busiBut remember: The deadline to get ness? Well, they won’t unless you tell your info to us is March 6. Tomorrow. them about all of the exciting things As in, get us the details now. you have planned.

Don’t put this off until it’s too late.

We’re here to help with that.

Let us know now what your establishOn March 12, PW will publish a ment has planned for St. Patrick’s Day. roundup of all of the St. Patrick’s Day Then sit back and wait for the crowd celebratory events in Philadelphia. to show up on March 17.

MARCH 5 - 12, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

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Image | Joey Velasquez from Pixabay

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MUSIC

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Catch indie-pop sensation Magdalena Bay at Boot & Saddle on March 14. Image | Kate Biel

5 Questions: D Magdalena Bay

BY EUGENE ZENYATTA

The synth pop duo plays Boot & Saddle March 14 MARCH 5 - 12, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

o you long for the dance pop of the ‘80s, ‘90s and 2000s?

If so, you won’t want to miss Magdalena Bay when it hits the Boot & Saddle stage on March 14 in support of New Zealand pop group Yumi Zouma’s “Truth or Consequences” tour. Performing at SXSW and recently making the face of Tidal’s “Rising” playlist, Magdalena Bay has been getting some great early recognition for its savant-like songwriting talent, unconventional DIY music videos, recent sold-out show in Brooklyn, and a hot streak of pop singles – including the brand-new single “How to Get Physical,” which is one in a string of Hype Machine No. 1s, including “Killshot,” and “Good Intentions.”

Magdalena Bay is a synth pop duo composed of Mica Tenenbaum and Matthew Lewin, longtime collaborators who’ve been making music together since high school. The duo prides itself in its DIY approach to pop. Writing, recording, production, graphics, and even video work all come to life in their midtown LA apartment – some walls in their living room studio support speakers, others are obscured by green screens and second-hand lighting equipment.

“We created Magdalena Bay because we were tired of the moody, depressing pop on the radio. We definitely feel nostalgic for the dance pop of the ‘80s, ‘90s and 2000’s,” Lewin said.

PW rec prior to th You two er since h about tho and how band. Are dalena Ba We met in Miami c where we gether and We star band and song writi gles – Ma rock enthu fangirl – b ways felt r That ba pop under were both the band named M he’d get, a want to vis How ha your mus lar band Haha – selves a p fully we’r good, I th own as so sual artis be a band bly chang pinpoint e it. As we eras and different

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

MUSIC

IMAGE: FACEBOOK

5 OVER $1600

PW recently caught up with the duo just prior to their performance in Philly.

You two have been making music together since high school in Miami. Talk a little about those early years, your music then and how you came up with the name of the band. Are you big fans of the actual Magdalena Bay? We met at an after-school music program in Miami called Live Modern School of Music, where we kind of just got placed in a band together and started covering classic rock songs.

We started writing original music for the band and both of us really fell in love with song writing. We came at it from different angles – Matt was a jazz guitarist/progressive rock enthusiast, and Mica was a Fiona Apple fangirl – but when we worked together it always felt really right.

That band broke up and we started making pop under Magdalena Bay in 2016, while we were both in college. We actually thought of the band name because Matt knew someone named Maggie Bay from these work emails he’d get, and he loved the name! But we do want to visit the place in Mexico one day.

How has the journey been so far? Has your music changed, and is life as a popular band everything you’ve expected?

Haha – we don’t know if we’d call ourselves a popular band, but that’s nice! Hopefully we’re on our way! The journey’s been good, I think we’ve really come into our own as songwriters, singers, producers, visual artists and everything else it takes to be a band these days. Our music has probably changed over time, but it’s hard for us to pinpoint exactly how since we’re so close to it. As we’ve discovered pop from different eras and artists along the way we’ve pulled different references into what we make.

In the past, you’ve described your music as “future ’90s throwback space-pop.”

What exactly is “future ‘90s throwback space-pop”? How did you settle on that sound?

That phrase is just a catchall for all things retro and future. We get inspiration from retro pop for sure, but we don’t think it’s quite specifically ‘70s, ‘80s, ‘90s or ‘00s – maybe each song has a bit of a different flavor.

And as for the future, we always try to look ahead with what we make. We don’t want our stuff to sound like an exact ‘80s replica, for example, because that’s already been done! So, we try to put our own twist on things. We kind of fell into our sound based on what we love to listen to and make.

What’s your live show like? What will your fans see when they show up at Boot & Saddle on March 14?

Our live show’s just the two of us, with Matt taking over keys, guitars and bass and Mica singing and jumping around! We try to keep the energy up and incorporate visuals if the venue allows, since visuals are a super important part of Magdalena Bay. What does the future hold for Magdalena Bay? Where do you see yourselves five years from now?

The near future holds an album, more shows, more touring, more everything! It’s tough to think where we’ll be in five years but our ideal is to be living and working full time as musicians, creating whatever weird Magdalena Bay creation we’re up to by then! Maybe we’ll design and star in our own video game in 2025?

Magdalena Bay | Saturday, March 14, 8:30 pm. Boot & Saddle, 1131 S. Broad St. Info: bootandsaddlephilly.com.

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18

VOICES

OF OUR

CITY

Take self-righteous morals to the streets Re: “Your Body, Your Choice?” (Feb. 20) If these hypocritical pieces of pro-life shit actually cared for human life, then why don’t they take their self-righteous morals to the epidemic in the streets? According to the LAHSA 2019 census, there are 50,000-60,000 actual living and breathing conceived human beings living in tents and under tarps on the sidewalks of Los Angeles County.

How many human lives could be saved if these fanatics used their “life chains” and “rescue operation” techniques to feed, volunteer, build and advocate for those who were given a life that society has turned their back on?

Are not all conceived in this country deserving of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

THE SHOUT OUT Image | Anne & Saturnino Miranda from Pixabay

– Christine | original Philadelphian, now living in LA

Students: UPenn doesn’t care about climate change On Friday, Feb. 28 at the Inn at Penn, a group of 35 Penn students staged a sit-in, partially obstructing the [University of Pennsylvania’s] Board of Trustees from exiting their semesterly meeting. The purpose of the disruption was to protest the Penn administration’s refusal to participate in a climate town hall, which the protesters have been requesting since September.

The group continues to ask President Amy Gutmann, Chief Investment Officer Peter Ammon and Chairman of the Board of Trustees David Cohen to participate in a town hall to address student and faculty concerns regarding Penn’s investment in the fossil fuel industries. The group lodged this demand on Sept. 27, at the same time that it led 40 students into the foyer of Penn’s College Hall for the first of many weekly sit-ins designed to pressure the administration to respond to the demand.

On Oct. 10, the Office of the University Secretary sent an email to FFP and its allies communicating an effective refusal. On Nov. 28, Fossil Free Penn vocally disrupted the Board of Trustees meeting, articulating this demand and singing “Which Side Are You On” – a Depression-era labor-movement song written by Florence Reece during the 1931 Harlan County Coal strikes.

On Jan. 29, the administration sent an

email to the Penn community stating that Penn “does not hold, and would not expect to hold going forward, any direct investments in companies focused on the production of thermal coal or bituminous (tar) sands, a reflection of the significant carbon intensity – and the corresponding risks – of such businesses.” While Fossil Free Penn considered this announcement a direct consequence of continued student pressure, it is far from the proactive divestment measure the organization has been demanding since 2015.

FFP coordinator Ari Bortman said, “Our message is clear: we are ready to fight, once again, for our futures. We have demanded dialogue and change. We are watching, and we hope that change and dialogue are forthcoming. Because our futures are at stake.

People’s lives are at stake. And this university continues to support the industry responsible.”

Emma Glasser, also a Fossil Free Penn coordinator noted, “We are here because injustice is not an investment. Penn needs to be held accountable for neglecting our right to a livable future.”

In response to the trustees’ inelegant descent from the fire exit, Fossil Free Penn activist Claudia Silver noted, “With the climate crisis looming, not everyone has an emergency exit.”

Phillippe Atillah | West Philadelphia

MARCH 5 - 12, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

The Phillies are deep into spring training – complete with a few new players and even a new-look mascot.

Your turn:

Did the Phillies do enough in the off-season to make the playoffs this year? And do you give the new Phanatic a thumbs up or thumbs down?

Send your thoughts to voices@philadelphiaweekly.com

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VOICES OF OUR CITY

Our medical innovation system is under assault Since finishing medical school nearly 40 years ago, I’ve witnessed American scientists develop hundreds of lifesaving medicines that once seemed unimaginable.

While leading the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute at the National Institutes of Health, I saw scientists pioneer novel ways to treat rare and serious blood disorders in children.

During my tenure as president of Brigham and Women’s Hospital and Professor of Medicine at Harvard Medical School, researchers have cured hepatitis C, a once-fatal liver disease that killed nearly 20,000 Americans annually as recently as 2014 and with new biologic therapies, have harnessed the power of terminal cancer patients’ own immune systems to provide new hope.

These cutting-edge medicines weren’t developed overnight. They required decades of research, hundreds of millions of dollars in seed funding, and a policy environment that fosters innovation. Unfortunately, our innovation ecosystem is now under assault.

It’s important for the American public to understand how drug development works – and how the next generation will suffer if we don’t provide scientists the resources required to enable continued innovation and discovery.

Basic scientific research, which is often subsidized by the federal government through the National Institutes for Health, is absolutely critical to biomedical innovation. During my time leading the NIH’s National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute – which allocates about $3 billion in research grants each year – our team made great progress in better understanding how to treat and diagnose chronic diseases.

But government labs don’t turn promising insights into actual treatments. Often, it’s the small, venture-backed biomedical companies, increasingly in collaboration with the nation’s top academic medical centers, that do.

These firms translate basic research into applied science by identifying promising drug compounds and shepherding them through years of preclinical testing, human trials and regulatory hurdles. These companies often partner with bigger firms once success is in sight.

But the process is rife with failure. Consider cancer drugs. Between 1998 and 2014, 177 potential lung cancer drugs entered clinical trials – yet only 10 were approved.

During that same period, 96 potential drugs for melanoma failed, while only seven succeeded.

Because of this high failure rate, drug development is incredibly risky and expensive. Those who embrace the challenge do so because of a strong and predictable system that provides limited protections for the few successful medicines coming to market.

Investors in early-stage research firms accept these risks because they know the revenue from just one successful drug can pay for every failure and still generate a return.

“Profit” has become a dirty word, but the market-based system we have is the main reason our country leads the world in drug innovation. Two-thirds of the new medicines released worldwide in the last decade came from the United States.

Now, our innovation ecosystem is being threatened. In Congress, some lawmakers want to import foreign price controls. Others want to introduce price controls in Medicare.

Still others want to allow the federal government to set prices on any medicine whose origin lies in government-funded research.

Though doubtlessly well-intentioned, these policy changes could eliminate the financial incentives that allow research scientists to explore new treatments.

Policymakers and American citizens alike need to understand that government labs don’t develop drugs. Nor should we want them to. Congress sets the NIH’s budget and instructs the agency on how to spend that money. Tasking the NIH with drug discovery would politicize the research process. It’d enable a handful of government officials to decide which experimental treatments get funding – and which ones die in the lab.

I know firsthand that scientists working at federally funded labs are brilliant, but it’s neither their job nor their goal to create new medicines.

Patients are better off when the government allocates its limited resources toward basic scientific research, which often lacks an immediate application and thus would struggle to attract funding. This division of labor allows private companies to take on the risky, laborious, and hugely expensive drug development process.

If we want American firms to continue producing lifesaving treatments, we need to protect them.

Elizabeth G. Nabel, MD, is president of Brigham Health and its Brigham and Women’s Hospital. A cardiologist, she is a professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School and former Director of the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute of the National Institutes of Health.

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Your healthcare provider can tell you if it is safe to take DOVATO with other medicines.

What are Possible Side Effects of DOVATO? DOVATO can cause serious side effects, including: • Those in the “What is the Most Important Information I Should Know about DOVATO?” section.

• Allergic reactions. Call your healthcare provider right away if you develop a rash with DOVATO. Stop taking DOVATO and get medical help right away if you develop a rash with any of the following signs or symptoms: fever; generally ill feeling; tiredness; muscle or joint aches; blisters or sores in mouth; blisters or peeling of the skin; redness or swelling of the eyes; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue; problems breathing.

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What is the Most Important Information I Should Know about DOVATO? If you have both human immunodeficiency virus-1 (HIV-1) and hepatitis B virus (HBV) infection, DOVATO can cause serious side effects, including: • Resistant HBV infection. Your healthcare provider will test you for HBV infection before you start treatment with DOVATO. If you have HIV-1 and hepatitis B, the hepatitis B virus can change (mutate) during your treatment with DOVATO and become harder to treat (resistant).

It is not known if DOVATO is safe and effective in people who have HIV-1 and HBV infection.

• Worsening of HBV infection. If you have HIV-1 and HBV infection, your HBV may get worse (flare-up) if you stop taking DOVATO. A “flare-up” is when your HBV infection suddenly returns in a worse way than before. Worsening liver disease can be serious and may lead to death. ° Do not run out of DOVATO. Refill your prescription or talk to your healthcare provider before your DOVATO is all gone. ° Do not stop DOVATO without first talking to your healthcare provider. If you stop taking DOVATO, your healthcare provider will need to check your health often and do blood tests regularly for several months to check your liver.

What is DOVATO? DOVATO is a prescription medicine that is used without other antiretroviral medicines to treat HIV-1 infection in adults who have not received antiretroviral medicines in the past, and without known resistance to the medicines dolutegravir or lamivudine. HIV-1 is the virus that causes Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS). It is not known if DOVATO is safe and effective in children.

Who should not take DOVATO? Do Not Take DOVATO if You: • have ever had an allergic reaction to a medicine that contains dolutegravir or lamivudine.

• take dofetilide.

What should I tell my healthcare provider before using DOVATO? Tell your healthcare provider about all of your medical conditions, including if you: • have or have had liver problems, including hepatitis B or C infection.

• have kidney problems.

• are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. One of the medicines in DOVATO (dolutegravir) may harm your unborn baby. ° Your healthcare provider may prescribe a different medicine than DOVATO if you are planning to become pregnant or if pregnancy is confirmed in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. ° If you can become pregnant, your healthcare provider will perform a pregnancy test before you start treatment with DOVATO. ° If you can become pregnant, you should consistently use effective birth control (contraception) during treatment with DOVATO. ° Tell your healthcare provider right away if you are planning to become pregnant, you become pregnant, or think you may be pregnant during treatment with DOVATO. • are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed if you take DOVATO. ° You should not breastfeed if you have HIV-1 because of the risk of passing HIV-1 to your baby. ° One of the medicines in DOVATO (lamivudine) passes into your breastmilk. ° Talk with your healthcare provider about the best way to feed your baby.

T:9.875”

SO MUCH GOES INTO WHO I AM HIV MEDICINE IS ONE PART OF IT. Reasons to ask your doctor about DOVATO: DOVATO can help you reach and then stay undetectable* with just 2 medicines in 1 pill.

That means fewer medicines† in your body while taking DOVATO

You can take it any time of day with or without food (around the same time each day)—giving you flexibility

DOVATO is a once-a-day complete treatment for adults who are new to HIV-1 medicine.

Results may vary. *Undetectable means reducing the HIV in your blood to very low levels (less than 50 copies per mL). † As compared with 3-drug regimens.

LáDeia‡ Living with HIV

What are Possible Side Effects of DOVATO (cont’d)?

• Changes in your immune system (Immune Reconstitution Syndrome) can happen when you start taking HIV-1 medicines. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections that have been hidden in your body for a long time. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you start having new symptoms after you start taking DOVATO. • The most common side effects of DOVATO include: headache; diarrhea; nausea; trouble sleeping; and tiredness.

These are not all the possible side effects of DOVATO. Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Where Can I Find More Information?

• Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist.

• Go to DOVATO.com or call 1-877-844-8872, where you can also get FDA-approved labeling.

October 2019 DVT:2PI-2PIL Trademark is owned by or licensed to the ViiV Healthcare group of companies.

Compensated by ViiV Healthcare

‡

Could DOVATO be right for you? Ask your doctor today.

22

THUR MARCH 5

LEARN

South Philly State Rep. Meet and Greet

It’s election season, and if you’re a South Philadelphian who intends to be in the know about who’s running for state representative, this is the event to attend.

State House districts up for grabs in South Philly in 2020 include the 175th, 182nd, 184th, 185th, and 186th. | 6:30 pm. Suggested donation of $5. Second District Brewing, 1939 S Bancroft St. grassrootsphilly. ticketleap.com LEARN

Historic Preservation, Public Memory and Social Justice Philly is full of history, and that shouldn’t be taken for granted. Faye M. Anderson and Oscar Beisert will speak at this month’s meeting of the Design Advocacy Group of Philadelphia. Anderson is the founder of All That Philly Jazz and director of Green Book Philadelphia, and Beisert is the founder of the Keeping Society of Philadelphia and has successfully nominated dozens of properties to the local register. | 8 pm. Free.

Center for Architecture + Design, 1218 Arch St. facebook.com

THE SCENE A WEEK'S WORTH OF ADVENTURES A C R O S S P H I L LY N E I G H B O R H O O D S

War and beer

Image | skeeze from Pixabay

Franklin, Jefferson and Washington gave us more than the gift of freedom. They each had their own beer recipes, so maybe we should follow them. This may be one of the only times that learning and drinking mix.

Join a beer-drinking historical journey through America and Philadelphia during years of the Revolutionary War. Yards founder Tom Kehoe and a special guest will share secret recipes and the fascinating history behind the Ales of the Revolution.

Parking is accessible on 5th Street in the lot behind the brewery as well as surrounding street parking.

What: Ales of the Revolution When: Tuesday, March 10, 6 pm.

Where: Yards Brewing Co., 500 Spring Garden St. How much: $85. More: nacephilly.com

MARCH 5 - 12, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY LEARN

2020 Tree Care Update It’ll highlight the latest research and best practices as it relates to trees and insects, diseases, infrastructure, human wellness, and urban forestry.

We imagine just about everybody at this seminar will have a green thumb. | 8 am. $40-$80. Pennsylvania Convention Center, 1101 Arch St. phsonline.org MUSIC

The Dirty Dozen Brass Band w/ The Get Right Band

New Orleans-based Dirty Dozen Brass Band has taken the traditional foundation of brass band music and incorporated it into a blend of genres including Bebop Jazz, Funk and R&B/Soul. They’ve worked with everyone from Norah Jones to Modest freakin’ Mouse! See them on their own at City Winery today. | 8 pm. $20-$28. City Winery, 990 Filbert St.

LEARN

Up & Coming Markets in Philly Hold the Most Investment Promise 2020

A panel of experts moderated

by PhillyMag’s Home and Real Estate Editor Sandy Smith will speak to what they think will be the hottest new markets for development in the city of Philadelphia’s booming real estate industry. | 6:30 pm. $5. Philly Office Retail, 4701 Germantown Ave. facebook.com ART

Arts & Drafts at Tattooed Mom

At this event not only will you be able to unwind with some free hands-on crafts and activities, but 25 percent of your entire food and drink sale will be donated toward arguably the biggest staple of South Street, the Magic Gardens. | 6 pm. Free.

Tattoed Mom, 530 South St.

citywinery.com

tattooedmomphilly.com

FOOD & DRINK

TRIVIA

Fado Bar Lab featuring Jameson and Evil Genius

Throwback Thursday Quizzo & Wayne’s World

During this edition of Bar Lab, you’ll taste, deconstruct and curate with Jameson Whiskey and Evil Genius Brewing. It’s the perfect opportunity to see what new alcoholic concoctions you’ll be able to brew up. Consider it chemistry class for adults. | 6 pm. Free. Fado Irish Pub & Restaurant, 1500 Locust St.

The Philadelphia Film Center holds these Quizzo & Movie events on the first Thursday of every month, and this month’s movie is “Wayne’s World.” They’ll host a few rounds of Quizzo before showing the movie. | 7:30 pm. $12-$13. Philadelphia Film Society, 1412 Chestnut St.

facebook.com

filmadelphia.org

CALENDAR

LYWEEKLY PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

FRI MARCH 6

LEARN

Blow It Up Day

Sometimes, you just need to ditch all your responsibilities and have some fun. Get a dose of pure, primal joy as you learn the fascinating science behind making things burn, combust, explode … you name it.

Science is fun – your teachers didn’t lie to you about it. | 10 am. $23. The Franklin Institute, 222 N. 20th St. fi.edu MUSIC

Resurrect PhilaMOCA Benefit Show

The independent music venue may be down now due to zoning and rent issues, but they’re definitely not out. Come out to see Yowler, Zoe Reynolds and Thin Lips, and show your support in restoring the venue back to its full glory.| 8 pm. $15.

First Unitarian Church, 2125 Chestnut St. eventbrite.com MUSIC

Of Montreal

This indie pop band always dares to tread into some deep territory. Each album is a different illustration full of touching lyrics and personal stories. Don’t miss them out on tour in support of their January release “UR FUN.” | 8 pm. $20. Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St.

23

COMEDY

YASSS Queen: A Women in Comedy Night

You don’t need any kind of excuse to celebrate some of the dopest female comedians in Philly. Proceeds for the night benefit Girls Justice League, an organization that empowers young women to make social, political and economic change. | 6 pm. $30. REC Philly, 901 Market St. eventbrite.com FUNDRAISER

PARTY

Decades Dance Party

DJ da_BooBoo knows just what to spin to get us all feeling nostalgic.

The power of amazing dance music will transport us back to the ‘80s and ‘90s, some of our favorite decades. | Friday, 9 pm. Free.

Toasted Walnut, 1316 Walnut St. facebook.com

23rd Annual Fur Ball: The Great Catsby

All you jazz cats better show up for Morris Annual Refuge’s annual fundraiser for homeless pets. Get dressed up in your swankiest attire, and get ready to shower those animals with all the love you can. | 7 pm. $165. The Bellevue, 200 S. Broad St. eventbrite.com COMEDY

Andrew Santino

Santino got his start as an actor on “Punk’d,” and has since graced the screen on almost every major network or streaming service. Gingers do it best. | 7:30 pm. $25.

Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. punchlinephilly.com

utphilly.com

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | MARCH 5 - 12, 2020

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

BRING YOUR STORY INTO FOCUS FOOD & DRINK

Philly Craft Beer Festival Woden helps brands convert audiences into evangelists. Begin crafting your story today. learn more: WODENWORKS.COM

It’s time to figure out what’s been brewing around the city. We’re ready to gulp down tons of beer from all kinds of Philly-native craft breweries. | Saturday, 1:30 pm. $35. The Navy Yard, Building 61, 1100 Flagship Ave. goldstar.com

SAT MARCH 7

SINDIA itar always fresh

always awesome

WE DO CATERING! UNIVERSITY CITY

267-308-5108

267-797-2467

PENN’S LANDING

D I LW O R T H P L A Z A

267-227-1994

Lunch & Dinner Buffet

ROBERTS CENTER

10% Off Buffet

267-758-2383

MENU WAT E R F R O N T G O U R M E T. C O M

Expires March 20, 2020.

Not valid with any other discount

Located at 38th & Chestnut

60 S. 38TH ST 215-662-0818

Open 6 days a week • Closed Tuesday Free Delivery

MARCH 5 - 12, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

NM-00423232

PARTY

Dancing On My Own

A night of nothing but lifting each other up – oh, and some heartpumping, self-esteem -raising music to go with it. Dance to tracks from some powerful women in the music industry – Lizzo, Robyn, Nicki Minaj, and way more. | 10 pm. $5. Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave. eventbrite.com MUSIC

The Orphan, The Poet

These kids don’t play music just to please anybody. This alt-rock band has had its songs soar through the charts recently, and it’s gained them spots on festival stages alongside huge acts like Twenty One Pilots. | 6:30 pm. $13. Voltage Lounge, 421 N. 7th St. eventbrite.com

MUSIC

Body Ritual

We’re not afraid to get a little freaky tonight. We’re completely ready to feel the techno and industrial beats of three DJs coursing through our warm veins. No inhibitions – just pure close-quarters dancing in a tight warehouse. Nothing better. | 10 pm. $5. Warehouse on Watts, 923 N. Watts St. ticketweb.com INTERESTS

International Women’s Day Market

Want to be sure you’re giving your money to a woman-owned business just in time for this holiday? All woman-owned art, beauty, apparel and more businesses will be under one roof at this market in the venerated food hall. | 11 am. Free. The Bourse, 111 S. Independence Mall E. facebook.com

MUSIC

A Victim of Good Times

Good times are never a bad thing. This post-punk band hasn’t released any new albums since 2012, so we have a feeling something is coming soon that will give us a good time we’ll never forget. | 7:30 pm. $10. Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St. eventbrite.com MUSIC

Techno Bunker

Everyone get underground! It’s time to dance to a sinful amount of techno. Pile in to a secretive location – that may or may not have windows – and get close with the people dancing around you. It could be the end of the world, but we wouldn’t mind going down this way. | 10 pm. Free. Ulana’s, 205 Bainbridge St. facebook.com

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

SUN MARCH 8

INTERESTS

Love & Vodka

Nothing brings two people together more than a mutual love of vodka. Bond with a potential romantic partner over some shots at this tipsy speed dating session.

Having a vice in common will probably lead to a healthy relationship, right? | 2 pm. $35. Stateside Vodka Bar, 1700 N. Hancock St. eventbrite.com MUSIC

Silverstein

This hardcore group has been going strong for 20 years. It’s almost unheard of for a band that’s been together so long without a break up. Punks may say “fuck the system,” but clearly they still believe in the value of friendship – one of the most important systems that’s keeping our society moving. | 7:15 pm. $25. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St.

INTERESTS

International Women’s Strike

It may be International Women’s Day, but trust us – women still don’t have nearly enough respect as they deserve. Mobilize for change with Philly’s strongest women – the day starts off with a puppet show, leads to a march and ends in a community potluck. | 11 am. Free. Logan Circle, 200 N. 19th St. facebook.com MUSIC

Sheer Terror

We’re never afraid of some genuine heart-pumping hardcore. These guys have been dishing it out since the ‘80s and have dominated the stage of CBGB. Now, they’ll be bringing all the intensity of their performances to a venue near you. | 7:30 pm. $16. Voltage Lounge, 421 N. 7th St. eventbrite.com

INTERESTS

Fourth Anniversary Party

Fluffy kitties – enough said. This cat adoption platform allows for deeper connections to be made between human and rescue.

Celebrate the business’ anniversary with a little party and a lot of love. | 11 am. $12.

Le Cat Cafe, 2713 W. Girard Ave. facebook.com LGBTQ

Cutthroat Queens

This is the drag version of Cutthroat Kitchen. Queens each have $150 to pay for sabotages against their competitors. In the end, the shadiest – and richest – bitch will come out on top. | 9 pm. Free. Tabu, 254 S. 12th St. facebook.com

25

MUSIC

Jonathan Richman

Off in the punk band The Modern Lovers, but he’s now known for diverging and becoming an acoustic songwriting legend. | 7 pm. $25. Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St. utphilly.com

MON MARCH 9

INTERESTS

Poems Night

Come out to this monthly showcase for Philly poets.

You’ll be shocked by the talent around you, and by your own courage to share work that means something to you. | 6:30 pm. $1-$10. HOT BED, 723 Chestnut St. facebook.com

FOOD & DRINK

EmpowHERment Brunch Party

Ladies who brunch are the fiercest of them all. DJ Yolo Ono will provide the music as you sip on bubbly and browse the pop-up market of all woman creators. The largest squad will win a gift card, so yes, it actually pays to have a lot of friends. | Sunday, 11 am. Free.

City Tap, 3925 Walnut St. eventbrite.com

facebook.com

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | MARCH 5 - 12, 2020

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

10 Under $10 Low on dough? You can still have a blast Decades Dance Party

DJ da_BooBoo knows just what to spin to get us all feeling nostalgic. The power of amazing dance music will transport us back to the ‘80s and ‘90s, some of our favorite decades. | Friday, March 6, 9 pm. Free. Toasted Walnut, 1316 Walnut St. facebook.com

Dancing On My Own

A night of nothing but lifting each other up – oh, and some heart-pumping, self-esteem -raising music to go with it. Dance to tracks from some powerful women in the music industry – Lizzo, Robyn, Nicki Minaj, and way more. | Saturday, March 7, 10 pm. $5.

Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave. eventbrite.com

Body Ritual

We’re not afraid to get a little freaky tonight. We’re completely ready to feel the techno and industrial beats of three DJs coursing through our warm veins.

No inhibitions – just pure close-quarters dancing in a tight warehouse. Nothing better. | Saturday, March 7, 10 pm. $5. Warehouse on Watts, 923 N. Watts St. ticketweb.com

Techno Bunker

Everyone get underground! It’s time to dance to a sinful amount of techno. Pile in to a secretive location – that may or may not have windows – and get close with the people dancing around you. It could be the end of the world, but we wouldn’t mind going down this way. | Saturday, March 7, 10 pm.

Free. Ulana’s, 205 Bainbridge St. facebook.com

International Women’s Strike

It may be International Women’s Day, but trust us – women still don’t have nearly enough respect as they deserve. Mobilize for change with Philly’s strongest women – the day starts off with a puppet show, leads to a march and ends in a community potluck. | Sunday, March 8, 11 am. Free. Logan Circle, 200 N. 19th St. facebook.com

MARCH 5 - 12, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

EmpowHERment Brunch Party

Ladies who brunch are the fiercest of them all.

DJ Yolo Ono will provide the music as you sip on bubbly and browse the pop-up market of all woman creators. The largest squad will win a gift card, so yes, it actually pays to have a lot of friends. | Sunday, March 8, 11 am. Free. City Tap, 3925 Walnut St. eventbrite.com

Super Sugar Moon Hike

Get away from all the hype and chaos of the city.

You’ll be pulled into the moon’s glow like the ocean as you trek toward it, and away from all the artificial light pollution. | Monday, March 9, 7 pm.

Free. Wissahickon Environmental Center, 300 W. Northwestern Ave.

Science on Tap: Shipwrecked Gold and Spanish Colonialism

eventbrite.com

No River Twice

It’s improv for poetry buffs. The audience dictates the direction that the performance goes in – they go poem by poem and change the direction in whichever way they please. Therefore, there’s no traveling down the same river more than once. | Monday, March 9, 7:30 pm. Free. Pen & Pencil Club, 1522 Latimer St. facebook.com

FAM SESH

A little jam sesh with a tight local music fam, hosted

by James Cooper and Jared Williams. Spread some sticky and sweet jam on the dry white toast that is your typical Tuesday evening. | Tuesday, March 10, 8 pm. Free. Connie’s Ric Rac, 1132 S. 9th St. facebook.com

Cutthroat Queens

This is the drag version of Cutthroat Kitchen.

Queens each have $150 to pay for sabotages against their competitors. In the end, the shadiest – and richest – bitch will come out on top. | Sunday, March 8, 9 pm. Free. Tabu, 254 S. 12th St. facebook.com

INTERESTS

Super Sugar Moon Hike

You’ll be pulled into the moon’s glow like the ocean as you trek toward it, and away from all the artificial light pollution. | 7 pm.

Free. Wissahickon Environmental Center, 300 W. Northwestern Ave. eventbrite.com LEARN

Science on Tap: Shipwrecked Gold and Spanish Colonialism

This monthly science cafe will introduce you to new topics and friends every time. Of all the gold and silver mined from the U.S. throughout history, most of it has been sacred objects from indigenous tribes. This talk will discuss efforts to restore them. | 6 pm. Free. National Mechanics, 22 S. 3rd St. facebook.com

INTERESTS

Modern Calligraphy Night

Whether you’re designing something or you just want to learn how to write pretty letters, this is the class for you. Come sip a brew or two and learn the ins and outs of this whimsical lettering style. | 6:30 pm. $65. Evil Genius Beer Co., 1727 N. Front St sipandscript.com MUSIC

Vinyl Siding

This is the silver lining to your Monday. Just throw back a couple of beers, watch some sports and listen to your favorite record on vinyl. You could do the same at home, but it’s more fun if you’re around some like-minded folks. | 8 pm. Free. Lucky’s Last Chance, 848 S. 2nd St. facebook.com

SHOW

No River Twice

It’s improv for poetry buffs. The audience dictates the direction that the performance goes in – they go poem by poem and change the direction in whichever way they please. Therefore, there’s no traveling down the same river more than once. | 7:30 pm. Free.

Pen & Pencil Club, 1522 Latimer St. facebook.com MUSIC

Goin’ Up the Country

Sometimes, you just get that sudden urge to take your horse to the old town road. Give in to that feeling at this divulgent night of music and beer specials. | 7 pm. Free. Tin Can Bar, 2537 E. Somerset St. facebook.com

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

TUES MARCH 10

MUSIC

Squirrel Flower You’re my squirrel flower… that rolls off the tongue nicely. Ella O’Connor Williams, the woman behind the name, was born into a musical family; the actual story of her birth is the inspiration for her newest album, “I Was Born Swimming.” | 8 pm. $10.

World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. eventbrite.com MUSIC

The Original Songwriter’s Open Mic

The emphasis here is on original music created by the performers. Get up there and blow the crowd away.

Any talent is welcome, but just remember this crowd is ready to hear your organic lyrics and sounds. | 8 pm.

Free. SawTown Tavern, 4717 Princeton Ave.

MUSIC

FAM SESH

A little jam sesh with a tight local music fam, hosted by James Cooper and Jared Williams. Spread some sticky and sweet jam on the dry white toast that is your typical Tuesday evening. | 8 pm. Free. Connie’s Ric Rac, 1132 S. 9th St. facebook.com

27

INTERESTS

Tuesday Night Hang Out

Club going up on a Tuesday.

Come meet some new friends and score cheap deals on drinks. There’s no reason for your night to be lame if you have somewhere you can go like this. | 10 pm.

Free. Saint Lazarus Bar, 102 W. Girard Ave. facebook.com

INTERESTS

Pregnant Ladies Night Out

Got a bump? Don’t sit on the couch tonight like a lump. Get out and bond with ladies that are going through all the same exciting and terrifying things that you are.

Motherhood is a little less scary when you’re not alone. | 6 pm $20. Midnight Iris, 1708 Lombard St. facebook.com

COMEDY

Comedy Open Mic Night

You can’t miss a chance to share your impeccable talent with the city. Get jaws dropping as you take the stage and drop it all on the crowd – just don’t drop the mic at the end, that’s just tacky. | 7:30 pm. Free. The Grape Room, 105 Grape St. facebook.com

TRIVIA

Kinky Quizzo

Finally – some toys you’ll actually play with. There’s no better way to woo someone than with dirty jokes and competitive trivia. Loser gets to do the receiving in the fun that will inevitably commence afterward. | Tuesday, 7:30 pm. Free. Kensington Pub, 2116 E. Tioga St. facebook.com

facebook.com

FOOD & DRINK

Ales of the Revolution

Franklin, Jefferson and Washington gave us more than the gift of freedom. They each had their own beer recipes, so maybe we should follow them. This may be one of the only times that learning and drinking mix. | Tuesday, 6 pm. $85. Yards Brewing Co., 500 Spring Garden St. nacephilly.com

Image courtesy: facebook

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | MARCH 5 - 12, 2020

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

Best BETS

MOVIES

Tokusatsu

Tokusatsu is Japanese sci-fi and fantasy TV shows and films, like Godzilla. Binge on a new show every week and get weird at this bar. You’ll always see something different, but it’ll always be a show from the 1960s-70s. | Wednesday, 8 pm. $5. Trestle Inn, 339 N. 11th St.

Drag Diva Brunch: Country Queens

Your country breakfast is ready! Allow these queens to serve you some looks, and some food, too. Don’t forget to give a hearty tip – these honies don’t work for free. | Saturday, March 7, Noon. $35. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. facebook.com

Josh Kelley

Kelley just released his new single, "Love Her Boy," a soulful play on words with lots of groove. You don’t want to miss it. | Sunday, March 8, 8 pm. $20$24. The Loft at City Winery, 990 Filbert St. citywinery.com

facebook.com

Love & Vodka

Nothing brings two people together more than a mutual love of vodka.

Bond with a potential romantic partner over some shots at this tipsy speed dating session. Having a vice in common will probably lead to a healthy relationship, right? | Sunday, March 8, 2 pm. $35. Stateside Vodka Bar, 1700 N. Hancock St. eventbrite.com

Modern Calligraphy Night

Whether you’re designing something or you just want to learn how to write pretty letters, this is the class for you. Come sip a brew or two and learn the ins and outs of this whimsical lettering style. | Monday, March 9, 6:30 pm. $65. Evil Genius Beer Co., 1727 N. Front St sipandscript.com

WED MARCH 11

MUSIC

The Districts

These alt-rock Philly natives have released a new album, “You Know I’m Not Going Anywhere.” Buy the record, watch them perform and hang out with them at a bar around the corner afterward. | 6 pm. $23. Creep Records, 1050 N. Hancock St. creep-records-store. shoplightspeed.com COMEDY

Comedy Allstars

Keeping an eye on the up-and-coming comedic talent of the city? If not, this is your spot to catch up. All of Philly’s finest funny people will be on stage to shake up your Wednesday night. | Wednesday, March 11, 8 pm. $15. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. facebook.com

MARCH 5 - 12, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

Comedy Allstars

Keeping an eye on the up-andcoming comedic talent of the city?

If not, this is your spot to catch up.

All of Philly’s finest funny people will be on stage to shake up your Wednesday night. | 8 pm. $15.

Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. facebook.com

LEARN

The Warriors and the Wicked

Murder isn’t strictly a man’s game.

Cold case investigator Sarah Cailean is about to educate you on the most wicked women who have ever walked the Earth. Sip on drinks from woman-owned breweries, and rest in peace knowing your money will be going to Women Organized Against Rape. | 7 pm. $5. Devil’s Den, 1148 S. 11th St. facebook.com MUSIC

Sittin’ In: Thee Phantom and The Illharmonic Orchestra

. We bet you never thought you needed this complementary mix of gritty hip-hop and polished classical tunes. | 8 pm. Free. The Kimmel Center, 300 S. Broad St. facebook.com

INTERESTS

MasterChef Junior Live

Not everybody is blessed with great cooking skills. It’s like God sprinkled all that talent on this select group of children who are about to blow your mind. | 7 pm. $35-$125. Merriam Theater, 250 S. Broad St. kimmelcenter.org LEARN

Understanding Chronic Disorganization

Our minds are just so chaotic, and it sure as hell shows on our cluttered desks and dish-filled sinks. This discussion will go over the underlying causes of the inability to get your shit together. | 7 pm. $20. Presbyterian Church of Chestnut Hill, 8855 Germantown Ave. facebook.com

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

THUR MARCH 12

MUSIC

Thy Art is Murder

You should know what to expect just by reading this band name. This punk band is ready to rip into your soul with no regrets whatsoever.

Make sure you’re ready for this sonic awakening. | 7 pm. $20. Theatre of Living Arts, 334 South St. venue.tlaphilly.com MUSIC

Through Being Cool Emo Night We still want to hide from the world behind our long bangs and black clothing. If you’re like us, join us at this dance party. Depending on our mood, we’ll be sulking in the corner or moshing in the middle of the crowd. | 10 pm. $3. The Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave. facebook.com LGBTQ

March Madness

or two. Don’t be fooled, this isn’t your typical March Madness – it’s going to get much more intense than that. | 8 pm. $20. L’Etage, 624 S. 6th St. brownpapertickets.com MUSIC

City of the Sun These indie instrumentalists have made the genre great again. The NYC-natives have toured the world over, and have most recently released an EP in February titled “Chapter II.” | 9 pm. $15. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St.

29

COMEDY

Good Hang

Good vibes only. This free monthly comedy show should be considered charity. Comedians work so damn hard on their craft, and it definitely isn’t cheap or easy to get up there and make us all laugh. | 8 pm.

Free. Moonshine, 1825 E. Moyamensing Ave. facebook.com

FOOD & DRINK

Philly Vegan Night Market

Vegan food is so misunderstood – it’s not all just salads and shitty tasting fake cheese. Some of the most delicious plantbased options you could buy are available at this weekly food market. | Thursday, 5 pm. Free. 1417 Point Breeze Ave. facebook.com

eventbrite.com ART

BODY

Abovegroundarts is hosting this showcase of local art celebrating the beautiful vessel that is the human body. Body image is important in how we view ourselves, so take some time to view the works of others to learn how to appreciate your own work of art. | 6 pm. Free. Tattooed Mom, 530 South St. tattooedmomphilly.com

Take some advice from this tall, hairy drag queen.

Sit down with her as she shares some tales over a stiff cocktail

Image courtesy: facebook

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SAVAGE LOVE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

Full-Throated

“Someone with OSA gags or chokes in response to the apnea, not as a cause,” Dr. Grosz clarified. “And while the contraction of the muscles opens the airway, it leads to poor sleep because the person is constantly being woken up.”

Now for the good news: Dr. Grosz doesn’t think choking on dick is going to make your OSA any worse, RETCH, and it might even make it better. “Theoretically,” said Dr. Grosz, “increased tone of the muscles of the airway might be a good thing in terms of strengthening those muscles.” Now, there’s no evidence that having your throat used like a Fleshlight will strengthen your ol’ throat muscles, but there’s no evidence that getting face-fucked will weaken them, either. (Needless to say, there aren’t a lot of studies on OSA and rough oral sex – and seeing as our pub“The vast majority of people lic-health officials are busy trying with sleep apnea have obstructo protect us from a worldwide pan@FAKEDANSAVAGE demic and our imbecilic president, tive sleep apnea (OSA), which is what I assume this individual has,” there probably won’t be any studies said Dr. Anna Grosz, a board certianytime soon.) fied otolaryngologist in practice in Portland, “Ultimately, I don’t think your reader is Oregon. “It results from muscle relaxation at risk of making his sleep apnea worse by and collapse in the aircontinuing his oral sex way (throat), which narpractices,” said Dr. Grorows the passage for air sz. “And to improve his to flow and then makes sleep apnea, he could it harder to breathe and make sure he maintains get oxygen.” (Otolaryna healthy weight, doesn’t gologists specialize in smoke, and avoids excess diseases and disorders alcohol or sedatives.” of the ear, nose, and throat.)

Q: I’m struggling and So when you fall could use some advice. I asleep, RETCH, the have a cast fetish – think muscles in your throat orthopedic casts – and relax and collapse, restricting your ability to my wife isn’t interested at all. To be clear, I breathe. Your brain – which doesn’t want to don’t want her to be injured in any way and I die – responds to this oxygen deprivation by certainly don’t want to injure her. I just like waking you up, which tenses your muscles the idea of her wearing a cast on her leg. It’s back up, un-collapsing them, and allowing you not even entirely sexual. If she would just to breathe again. wear a cast for a couple of hours while we Q: I’m a middle-aged gay man and I was recently diagnosed with sleep apnea. This is a disorder caused by the soft tissue in the throat collapsing during sleep. On top of making me feeling tired and awful all the time, sleep apnea is associated with a long list of health complications.

I’m writing you because I’m into very rough oral. I like it when a guy treats my throat like a Fleshlight. Gagging and retching turn me on. Since I don’t want to risk making my condition worse, I stopped giving blowjobs after my diagnosis. But will giving blowjobs the way I like to give them actually make things worse?

The internet was not helpful, and I didn’t feel comfortable asking the sleep specialist.

– Really Excited To Choke Harmlessly

DAN SAVAGE

“If gay men collapsed into puddles every time someone assumed we were straight, GEAR, we’d have to be reclassified as a liquid.”

SAVAGE LOVE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY hang out and watch a movie, I’d be happy.

When we met eight years ago, I was in denial about the importance of my fetish, both to myself and to her. I’ve since realized that it’s a deal-breaker for me, and it’s clear we wouldn’t be together today if I had been aware of the extent of my fetish when we first met and been able to be honest about it.

Over the years, we’ve briefly spoken about incorporating it, and we had a single failed attempt a few years ago. I’ve finally come to the realization that this isn’t going to happen without it being forced or coerced. She’s recently offered to participate, but only because she thinks she needs to in order to “save our marriage.”

How do I cope with this? Obviously, a need of mine will be perpetually unmet. How do I keep myself from resenting her for not being more open-minded? Is our marriage doomed?

We have a 9-month-old child.

– Churlish About Sudden Turn You just had a child – because of course you just had a child – which means now is not the time to do anything stupid. Or rash. And ending your marriage because your wife failed to understand how important your fetish was to you before you understood how important your fetish was to you would be both stupid and rash. So take a deep breath, help care for your baby, and have a conversation with your wife the next time she isn’t completely exhausted, CAST, which could mean waiting three to six months.

If it’s clear when you talk that she hates the thought of pulling on a fake cast and watching a movie with you – what you say you need to be happy – that will come out in the conversation. But if she’s come to understand how important this cast business is to you and how little it actually requires of her, please do yourself, your wife, and your baby a favor and take the yes you’ve always wanted for a motherfucking answer.

And finally, CAST, I don’t know what your dick is telling you right now, but just in case it’s telling you there are hordes of women out there with cast fetishes who are also into recently single new fathers with child-support payments to make, your dick is lying to you. A new girlfriend, if you can find one, might wear a cast for you, but she’ll be doing it for the same reason your wife is willing to: in order to make your kinky ass happy.

than an hour and she doesn’t derive pleasure from it.

So we decided to invest in a sleep sack, which will shorten the process considerably.

I found a leather artisan on Etsy who makes them to order.

During a video chat about sizing, the artisan made a reference to the “lucky man” who would be putting me in my sleep sack. I informed him I am straight. He apologized, saying that in his experience, it is mostly gay men who invest in this type of gear. I was nevertheless offended by his assumption. Your thoughts?

– Got Extremely Affronted Recently First thought: If gay men collapsed into puddles every time someone assumed we were straight, GEAR, we’d have to be reclassified as a liquid.

Second thought: As a gay man, I’m sometimes annoyed when people assume I’m straight. But it’s not an unreasonable assumption, since most people are straight. It’s also rarely a malicious assumption.

Similarly, GEAR, since all of the men who’ve commissioned this Etsy artisan to make them sleep sacks in the past have been gay, the assumption he made about you wasn’t unreasonable. And it’s hard to see malice in it. The offense you’ve taken, on the other hand, strikes me as both unreasonable and malicious; it’s unreasonable in that you would come crying to a queer person about something like this, and it’s malicious in that your reaction is so obviously rooted in homophobia (so what if some dude thought you might be gay?) and yet you came crying to a gay man about it.

Final thought: Whereas a straight person who’s assumed to be gay can correct the record without fear, a gay person who’s assumed to be straight has to do a risk assessment first: Is this person going to freak out or get violent?

Having to do those sorts of risk assessments all your life – starting in childhood with your own family – can take an emotional toll. So instead of being angry or offended by this experience, GEAR, you should be grateful that you can say, “Actually, I’m straight,” without having to worry about being punched in your stupid face or kicked out of your parents’ house.

“There’s no evidence that having your throat used like a Fleshlight will strengthen your ol’ throat muscles, but there’s no evidence that getting face-fucked will weaken them, either.”

Q: I’m a straight man who enjoys the erotic “mummification” experience. My wife finds the process of wrapping me in cling film and duct tape extremely tedious, as it takes more

On the Lovecast, get serious with comedian Cameron Esposito: savagelovecast.com.

THERE’S ALWAYS MORE OF SAVAGE TO LOVE! Read: PhillyWeekly.com Have a question?: mail@savagelove.net

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Equisoft seeks a Lead Functional Developer: Review business requirements and assist the Project Manager in defining scope and estimates; Analyze defined business requirements to formulate a functional design; Act as liaison between configuration team and the business requirements teams; Lead and support the configuration team by delegating their tasks and providing guidance; Perform configuration code reviews; Configure business processes based on defined business requirements; Load product rates and define product parameters; and, Maintain and grow insurance industry and technical knowledge competencies. Domestic and International Travel reqĘźd approx. 10-25%.

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GENERAL AND TREATMENT FOSTER PARENTS NEEDED Open your heart and home to children of all ages New Foundations, Inc. 215-203-8733 www.nfi4kids.org OFFICE HELP – General office duties, Monday thru Friday 8:30AM to 5PM. Send resume to Dorann Matthews at dorann@formansign.com Do Not Call.

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Compensated time & travel CALL 215-573-5855 FLAGGERS ($12.50/hr) Traffic Plan seeks Flaggers to set up and direct traffic around construction sites. A valid PA driver license and clean driving record a must, good pay and benefits. If interested please fill out an application at 510 Hertzog Blvd, King of Prussia, PA on MondayĘźs 9am - 12pm or online at trafficplan.com.

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REAL ESTATE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY New Listing | Point Breeze Beautifully designed, almost brand new construction with 7 years remaining on the tax abatement! Two great outdoor areas include a patio off of the kitchen and a fabulous roof deck with unobstructed skyline views. Enter the open floor plan with a living room, dining room, and a gourmet kitchen with granite counters and island, stainless steel appliances, and solid wood cabinets. Among other things, you will find wooden floors, iron railings and built-in speakers.

$425,000

New Listing | Whitman

New Listing | Open Saturday 12 - 2 415 S. 19th Street, Unit 1D Welcome to The Addison, a boutique condo building just a few blocks from Rittenhouse Square. The open concept living room and kitchen offer plenty of room for comfortable seating, eating and cooking. The kitchen has granite countertops and a long peninsula for counter seating. The bedroom is a comfortable size, and also features ample closet space.

The condo building features a bike room, an elevator, and a communal roof deck with breathtaking city views. 1 BR | 1 BA

$280,000

New Price | Lower Moyamensing

Welcome home in this adorable, updated row home.

The living room features beautiful hardwood flooring.

Large and updated windows with colonial grids allow the room to soak in a ton of natural light. The kitchen features staggered rustic wood tile and stainless steel appliances. Walk down to the finished basement with a half bath, storage, and laundry room. The rear private patio is perfect for grilling or organic gardening. 3 BR | 1.2 BA

Move right in to this meticulously kept South Philly home! This house features hardwood floors throughout with an open layout. The beautiful, sun drenched kitchen comes with white hi-gloss cabinets, quartz countertops and stainless steel appliances. Enter the great patio space directly from the kitchen. 2 BR | 1 BA

Sold | Graduate Hospital

Sold | Point Breeze

$199,990

This contemporary home features a spacious & bright open floor plan with a stunning gourmet kitchen, and a garage with a lift to accommodate 2-car parking! Enjoy the amazing roof deck with panoramic views & glass railings, plus an outdoor kitchen with gas grill hookup. Other features include Maple floors, custom built in cabinetry, quartz counters, a state-of-the-art intercom system with an exterior camera, and 6 1/2 years remaining on the tax abatement! 3 BR | 3.5 BA

$1,128,000

$265,000

Welcome home! Enter into the living space with the open floor concept. The grande kitchen includes a HUGE double waterfall island, a wine fridge, grey multitoned cabinetry, and stone backsplash with antique glass outline for a unique look. This home has it all with light hardwood floors, ceiling fans, a wet bar, a Nest Thermostat, outlets with USB ports, as well as a backyard, a roof deck with skyline views, and a 10 year tax abatement!

$560,000

PW REAL ESTATE To advertise in this section contact Sales

215-543-3743 ext. 104 or sales@philadelphiaweekly.com

MARCH 5 - 12, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

REAL ESTATE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

You can either

go climb a

tree

35

SWEET BOX

or. . .

learn more and sign up for early access at nourity.com Go Solo. If you’re ready to move up to a bigger house, and the thought of dealing with real estate agents has you up a tree, call Solo Real Estate.

We can move you up at a price you can afford. So when you’re ready to put down new roots, give us a call.

Call us at 215-564-7656 or visit solorealty.com.

2017 Chancellor Street Philadelphia, PA 19103

REACH OUT TO US. Carry PW’s at your spot. drops@philadelphiaweekly.com.

PW REAL ESTATE To advertise in this section contact Sales 215-543-3743 ext. 104 or sales@philadelphiaweekly.com

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | MARCH 5 - 12, 2020

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