Philadelphia Weekly | August 15 – 22, 2019

FREE | AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019

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ust J for

Kinks

Rope bondage, electro-stimulation, dungeons. Just a taste of what’s behind the closed doors of Philly sex parties

Marcie Turney and Val Safran are two Philadelphians we should all aspire to be. | Page 13

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PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

FROM THE EDITOR

‘Preciate y’all

A

fter reading the comments from Mr. Gabriel, Archbishop Charles Chaput last Thank you for your two recent articles conweek, yours truly fired off a colcerning the Union Soccer team coach and the umn that really read more as a one on Chaput. I particularly enjoyed the one rant. on Chaput to whom I’ve written in the past If you’re completely unfamiliar concerning the RCC’s pedophilia, and received with what column I’m referenca patronizing, judgmental, hypocritical response. ing,I took serious issue with the Archbishop’s Having taught psychology for 30 years I claim that gun control in the wake of yet anunderstand better than most how horrifying other mass shooting isn’t the solve, because sexual lifestyles, opulence and other “per- sexual abuse is for children and how it traumatizes them for life, but when the abuser is a verted pleasures,” have made most humans priest, that makes it so much worse! ripe well beyond our sell-by date for I had a very religious upbringing saving. as a Southern Baptist, but have long When looking at the past history since given up organized religion, of their own perverted pleasures primarily because the “Christian” done at the hands of men within the examples around me really weren’t cloth, I found this level of hypocrisy very Christian at all. I was told in astounding, so I wrote and wrote...

Sunday School that Jesus taught us but I wondered not after writing, to be kind, forgiving, non-judgmennot after having it edited and backtal, tolerant, compassionate, and so read, but when I saw it in print, if I on. Yet most “Christians” I knew had gone a bridge too far. were critical and judgmental of othI expected this week to have to ers, intolerant, not forgiving or even offer an apology for being so raw particularly kind. and for ripping the divine leader of I now view all organized religions a large majority of Philadelphians. as a curse on this planet, especially But I’ll say once the dust settled it @SPRTSWTR for women! I’m focused on spiritureally was refreshing to see the exality now, something organized reliact opposite. I mean don’t get me wrong, I did receive a few, that I’ll simply re- gions lack in my opinion.

What really infuriates me is the grave fer to as “not-so-nice” responses -- and to be honest, ones I kind of expected, but with this stones I’ve seen in some RCC church yards for “The Unborn,” or aborted fetuses. Abortion, latest offering, I’d rather share the ones that prove an honest and oft-times unfiltered opin- as I taught in my psychology classes is as old ion still resonates strongly in this city and one as the human race, even a sacred right. To see those gravestones with the condemnation of that an alt-weekly needs to provide. women they represent placed there by pedoThat rant also proved to me that there’s still an awesome number of Philadelphians that philes or those who lie or keep silent to protect engage with PW each week and with that be- them, was extremely upsetting to put it mildly. lieve me when I say our small, yet mighty staff But the [Roman Catholic Church] is probthanks each and every one of you.

Readers like Amy Page, a Philadelphian ably doomed at this point considering its heinous moral corruption. As my husband, a who penned the following and left in my inbox on Monday morning to find. It’s an entirely non-practicing Catholic says concerning the other side of faith that my rant completely RCC, “absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

His grandfather filled him in at a young overlooked and one that I think adds to the hypocrisy. I’m running Amy’s letter in full be- age, pointing out that throughout history, the RCC never backed the people, but rather went cause it speaks to a great point.

All that we can do is aspire to be perfect. along with the kings, the military, whoever was in power, for the purpose of maintaining But none of us are and ever will be. But we can do good and the good thing to do in the their own wealth and power.

Ireland is a perfect example, suffering for wake of a ridiculous week that was two mass centuries at the hands of the British...but shootings in 72 hours is look at current laws and modify them. Even a politician who be- where was the RCC in all this? Silent! How about the horrors in Argentina? Where was hind closed doors abusing perverted freedoms or being a sexual anarchist hopefully can look the RCC? Not standing up for the people, that’s at our current situation and have a little em- where! On and on and on. Sex became the pathy for human life before going back to the church’s main focus, not poverty or exploitawhips and chains and electro-shocks as de- tion, not hunger or injustice, teaching people that their sexual behavior would land them in scribed in this week’s cover story.

Hell, etc. etc...

But that’s a column for another day.

Again, thank you so much for your article!

Thank you, Amy and thanks to you all for Sincerely, reading, Philly. Catch you next week.

Amy E. Page, Philadelphia

KERITH GABRIEL

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PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019

4

STATE OF OUR CITY

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

STATE

The age that Philadelphia’s journalism community – and the city really – lost one of its finest editors.

Gar Joseph, known as the engine that drove the Daily News’ Clout Page, (among his countless other responsibilities) passed Saturday after a fight with brain cancer. It should be noted that according to his obituary, Joseph fought a particularly aggressive form of the disease two years past the time doctors predicted. Michael Days, former Daily News editor equally as synonymous as Joseph within Philly’s journalism landscape called Joseph “a prince,” and that “his passing breaks my heart.” We share a similar sentiment over here as well.

71

OF OUR

CITY

You should follow...

So this week, we stumbled upon a Philly art lover on Twitter you need to follow. He goes by @SilkDharmaArt and his images of great street murals and other art musings throughout Philadelphia is pretty awe-inspiring. This piece along the side of a West Philadelphia row caught our eye in particular and now we’re in a rabbit hole of a scroll. If you love Philly art, give this profile a follow, you won’t be disappointed.

image courtesy: Michael Mercanti

Soccer is apparently that serious

Our cover story last week was about how soccer hasn’t hit the mainstream among sports in Philly, but nevertheless, it’s one that can still get you killed in the City of Brotherly Love. On Sunday, a man was fatally stabbed during a pickup soccer match near the Max Myers Recreation Center. According to an Inquirer report, a fight broke out and the next thing you knew it was World Cup ‘94 all over again.

If you aren’t sure of the correlation, it’s OK, we didn’t think you would, just that you might Google it?

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Philadelphiaweekly.com @phillyweekly AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

Dan McDonough, Jr. Chairman & Publisher Kerith Gabriel Editor in Chief

John Montesano Art Director Contributors: A.D. Amorosi, Tom Beck, Jared Brey, Michael Greger, Jamie Giambrone, Courtenay Harris Bond, Jon Hurdle, Resolve Philadelphia, Dan Savage, Timaree Schmit, Stephen Silver, Steve Teare. Interns: Cheyenne Fowler, Alex Nagy

To contact the news department: mail@philadelphiaweekly.com.

Danielle Kingsbury General Manager

Ed Lynes Chief Revenue Officer

Stephanie Hawkins Controller

Michael Chambers Director of Circulation

To purchase advertising in Philadelphia Weekly, contact Dan Tangi at 215-543-3743, ext. 111, or dtangi@philadelphiaweekly.com.

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

“They were all shoulder-toshoulder, they had their batons out. They had their bicycles and they were taking their bicycles and ramming people with the bicycles...They came in there with hostile intentions. That was evident from bringing 100 cops, 30 cops to tell us to turn the music down at 8:30.”

STATE OF OUR CITY

HE SAID IT...

– Joseph Clifton, who paid $140 for a permit to host a cookout in West Philadelphia’s Malcolm X Park only to have the police show up batons blazing to disperse a largely African-American crowd that had authority to be there. We’d say we’re surprised, but honestly (and sadly) we’re not.

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“You’ve got some nerve thinking that you can just walk into my house and change the channel like that. You don’t pay any bills in this mother fucker.

Now, give me my goddamn remote back, we are watching this game to the end.”

– The Eagles were that serious Thursday night in this South Philly household as the Birds 27-10 preseason loss to Tennessee was watched until the very end. We’re not sure if we should applaud the devotion or be a little weirded out that watching guys that won’t even make the team battle out a meaningless football game. The jury is still out.

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FEATURED

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Acquired

taste An insider’s look at Philly’s vigorous

“I

Sex positive clubs in Philadelphia have historically been under the radar, but inside these clubs are any but. | Image courtesy: twitter

AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

sex party scene

am from California, so when plained. “There are also fun kinky and geeky I moved here 10 years ago, I themes.” searched for a dungeon-club Cherry Noir tends to crank it up to 11 with experience that felt right,” said the themes, lighting, music and classes. “This Mistress Zeneca, creator of is a labor of love for the Philadelphia commuCherry Noir, a kinky play party nity, so all feedback is heard, and we continthat celebrates seven years in uously try to make improvements,” she said.

Philly this fall.

Mistress Zeneca is not alone in describing It takes place at Saints and Sinners in Olde the work of organizing safe, accessible, kinky Richmond, one of the few venues in the city parties as a labor of love. The job requires a that offers this strictly adult kind of fun. lot of planning, onboarding and clever marWhen she arrived in Philadelketing to get around increasingly phia, she initially found the scene prudish social media rules. Despite difficult to enter. “Every party felt that, it isn’t a particularly lucrative

BY TIMAREE like a cliquish bore. No one talked to endeavor.

SCHMIT people they didn’t know, and it felt “While running these events is standoffish,” she said. “I decided to not fiscally rewarding, there is great create parties the likes of which I satisfaction in knowing that we’re wanted to go to, with the emphasis on welcoman event where many people get to discover ing and getting to know people. I never want themselves,” said Baron Battersea, one of the any of my guests to feel like they are invisico-founders of the Aviary, a monthly BDSM ble.” event held at the William Way LGBT CommuIt can be hard for adults to make friends, nity Center in the Gayborhood. and attending a sex party might already be “A dear friend recently let me know that fraught with anxiety for some people. Add he and his fiance met at Aviary in person for Philadelphia’s notoriously hard façade to the the first time,” he said. “Every time I hear that mix and Mistress Zeneca has her work cut out someone has found a community, a friend or for her. something about themselves, it reminds me of How exactly does one make a sex party why it’s worth doing.” more friendly?

The Aviary’s origin is a similar tale of not “We have a set of Ambassadors of Love, finding what was desired in the existing kink whose whole job is to chat people up, keep scene. everyone safe, make introductions, handle It was 2011. Baron Battersea and one of issues and guard scenes that need it,” she exhis collaborators, Goddess Thain, challenged

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PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY themselves to be the change they wished to see. “The few accessible parties were in very loud, poorly lit, alcohol-fueled spaces,” he said, which raised concerns about being able to see well and hear safe words. Baron Battersea noted that they “tried to do something a bit different than what was out there. Over time, it seems to have worked out.”

What did the Aviary organizers do differently? According to Battersea, there are two big themes: “come as you are” and “feel free to learn and try new things.” Attendees may show up wearing street clothes, high-end fetish wear or “almost nothing at all. The goal is to be comfortable no matter who you are or what your kink is.” He adds that the Aviary was the first to designate a space at the party specifically for newbies.

“We also have a variety of housetops who are willing to not only play with people but also teach their skills and pass them on.”

These tops can teach people about playing with rope, fire, electricity, corporal punishment and more. Education is also a component of the Pleasurecation events that Kati Kill hosts each month at the Pleasure Garden in Southwest Philly. She’s been working in the sex industry for over 15 years, and 4 and a half years ago was inspired to throw her own kinky party.

“I thought that a BDSM/kink/play/dance party with a sex-positive educational class would be a fun, interesting way to meet like-minded people and bring them together,” she said.

Attendees can check out interactive workshops on topics including electro-stimulation, rope bondage, impact play, consensual non-monogamy and more.

[Full disclosure: This author has taught classes at Pleasurecation] What really sets Pleasurecation apart might be its sheer size. “The nightclub is large, which is great for accommodating all the members that come,” said Kati Kill, who estimated that 350 to 500 people attend her events on an average night. The Pleasure Garden is warehouse-like, with a big dance floor, space for vendors, open and partially obscured play areas, multiple bars, stages and a number of private rooms.

After the workshop lets out, the classroom converts to a dungeon.

Pleasurecation most closely fits pop culture depictions of BDSM parties, with its dark nightclub lighting and EDM radiating through its cavernous twists.

On the other end of the spectrum, Philly Music Hall (PMH) in Tacony might be the most different from the imaginations of movies and TV. Its look could be described as a kinky grandma’s house, with a St Andrew’s cross stationed next to floral wallpaper.

“PMH is different because it is not a once a month party. It is a community center which seeks to provide alt-sex and queer communities a safer and sober space to socialize and meet other people,” said PMH co-founder Deb-

7

Kinks range from club to club giving those interested a great opportunity to explore every and all sexual desire and fantasy. | Image: Unsplash

orah Rose.

The giant building that is home to PMH has a storied history since its construction in 1885.

It housed lectures by PT Barnum and Susan B. Anthony, long before it was a sex-positive community center with movie and game nights, potluck dinners, Nerf battles and blood drives.

It also provides low-cost and accessible kink and alt-sex education to the wider communities of Philadelphia. Most of its educational opportunities are open to non-members, according to Rose, who has been involved in the kink scene for over 10 years and was a co-organizer at the start of Aviary.

She reiterates that the lack of physically safe or sober spaces for playing prompted the creation of PMH. “Most of the safest spaces were gatekept and not available to the newest members of our communities who needed them the most,” she said. “The idea of the Hall grew out of a need to provide a different kind of alt-sex community space to Philadelphia.”

Initially, there was some pushback when the Hall opened in the quiet residential neighborhood, as folks nearby initially feared an influx of sex work or drug use that never materialized. Over time, and thanks to a lot of community outreach, PMH has settled into peace with the neighborhood.

“We struggle to create legal and correctly zoned community spaces due to the sex-negative nature of many East Coast cities. Thanks, Puritans!” said Rose, adding, “Kinksters still

face discrimination when outed. People lose their jobs, professionals can lose their licenses. One of the ways we see it commonly play out is in custody battles.”

Advertising this kind of community has also gotten worse recently, she says, thanks to increasing online censorship in the wake of FOSTA-SESTA, a pair of bills passed in 2018 that purported to target sex trafficking. Social media sites like Facebook have become notoriously prudish about nudity and sexuality.

“Many of our online gathering places have been clamped down on and closed off to us.

Tumblr won’t allow us to discuss kink/BDSM in general,” she said. “PayPal won’t process payments to organizers or events, sometimes even stealing the money and never returning it to the events.”

While sex-positive spaces face increasing censorship on social media, the internet, in general, has allowed for the word to be spread much easier than in previous decades, especially for sexual minorities.

Sex parties have likely always been shrouded in some degree of discretion, especially those who serve LGBT clientele, yet today a tourist doesn’t need to risk chatting up strangers to find a place frequented by men looking for encounters with other men. The Adonis Theater and Club Philly (an adult cinema and bathhouse, respectively), can now be found as easily as a Yelp search. Philly Jacks boasts a SEE KINKADELPHIA, PAGE 8

One would think that sex positive clubs are centered only in the city, but clubs reside as far as Northeast Philly, the most recent being the redesigned Tacony Music Hall. | Image: Unsplash PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019

8

FEATURED

KINKADELPHIA, FROM PAGE 7 detailed website where they describe their Center City “Penis Pleasure Parties for men 18 and over.”

What about women looking for other women? Or for queer people who are looking for a sexy experience that’s a little more social and less about getting down to the point?

“Glittergasm, our original event, was created to center trans women and cis women...It’s intended to be a low-risk space where physical touch and exploration is allowed, but not required, in a safe, non-judgmental environment,” said sex educator Rachael Rose, who runs Glittergasm parties with co-creator and fellow sex educator Rebecca Hiles in a private suburban residence.

Rainbowgasm, their other event, is “open to the whole LGBTQ+ community or anyone who’s questioning/curious — we don’t police genders or orientations and let our attendees decide if our events feel like a good fit for them.

“I think a lot of people imagine sex/play parties as a seedy event where you have to be sexual. While most aren’t like that, our events really are the total opposite of that,” added Rachael Rose, who said her introduction to play parties was at very comfortable, casual events thrown in hotel rooms during sex edu

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY cation conferences.

Integrating their experience as professional sex educators, the Glittergasm organizers focused on making their parties as navigable for newbies as possible. Not only does the event start with a welcoming circle where rules and expectations are outlined, but signs are posted that reiterate those rules, and rooms are designated for different levels of play so attendees can choose their own adventure.

“We have a G-rated space where there’s food, board games, etc., and no sex is allowed, a PG-13 space where we host makeout games (with adjusted rules for consent) like truth or dare, spin the bottle and 7 minutes in heaven, and then we have separate spaces for sex, full nudity and kink activities,” said Rachael Rose, who adds that there is a lot of emphasis on being comfortable with both saying and hearing “no.”

Managing consent is one of the many complex issues that play party organizers must navigate, and not all the parties agree on how to handle it. Nearly all have had consent violations and each has a different approach.

Aviary has an “external Consent and Safety team” while PMH has an “extensive reporting system” addressed by the staff. While Pleasurecation’s organizer Kati Kill said, “All of our security staff is well trained in the protocol of dealing with inappropriate behavior and un

derstand the rules of consent,” the party has been called out by other party organizers for failing to address consent issues, not barring accused offenders and failing to adopt greater security measures.

“I have to say that I would highly not recommend any event at the Pleasure Garden Club/Pleasurecation, simply because of all the consent violations that I’ve heard of or have worked with people on trying to remedy,” said Mistress Zeneca, adding, “I used to teach there, but now I don’t because of that issue.”

Deborah Rose and Rebecca Hiles have made similar statements on social media about Pleasurecation. Kati Kill, organizer of Pleasurecation, vociferously disagrees with their assessments and says the other organizers have not attended her events in years and have “spoken negatively of me since day one….They have had a vendetta against me since my event is doing so well.”

She adds that the party has a strict no cell phone policy to guard party-goer privacy.

Meanwhile, Saints and Sinners as a venue has reportedly had issues with surreptitious filming and lack of adequate security. But these issues are not really unique to kink or play spaces.

“What I want to do, I can’t just do anywhere,” said a local female kinkster speaking on condition of anonymity. The Philly-area

party-goer says she tries out a lot of the different kinky venues and acknowledges none of them are perfect. “What am I going to do? Not go out? Fights break out at regular bars. It’s dangerous to be there too.”

Her advice for party-goers is to just take basic precautions. “Go with someone you know, stay relatively sober, keep your eyes open.” She also recommends taking classes on kink before attending parties and attending munches, which are meetups where people gather and talk about kink but don’t engage in play. “A lot of new people don’t know that’s an option until I mention it,” she said.

For those who are interested in trying out the play party scene, it’s wise to start by identifying what is desired from an event and what you and your partners are comfortable with happening there.

“Just remember that you don’t have to try everything on your first night,” Baron Battersea said. “Feel free to sample and take your time.”

“There’s nothing you “have to” do at a play party,” added Rachel Rose. “You’re more likely to have a good time if you don’t set expectations for how you think the night will go or what you’ll feel up for doing — just come to have a good time and be social, and anything else will be a bonus.”

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the differs none of to do? Not bars. It’s

just take eone you your eyes ng classes attending re people engage in now that’s d. trying out rt by idenand what table with

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PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

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PLAY ALL DAY Philadelphia Weekly has assembled this quick guide to the play parties throughout the City of [insert pleasure kink here]: What: Aviary When and where: William Way Center, second Saturday of each month Who’s it for: People aged 18 and up interested in BDSM, kink and fetish Cost and info: $25 theaviaryphilly.com/ What: Cherry Noir When and where: Saints & Sinners, varied dates adults Who’s it for: People interested in BDSM, kink and fetish Cost and info: Couples $40, Triads $60, Single Ladies $15, Single Men $40. Elegantlykinky.com What: Glittergasm When and where: Private residence, monthly Who’s it for: women, women aligned individuals and gender marginalized folks Cost and info: Donations accepted. glittergasmevents.com

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What: Philly Jacks When and where: Ranging from 6-7 parties a month along the 700 block of Chestnut St. Who’s it for: Men aged 18 and up.

Cost and info: $15 suggested donation. philadelphiajacks.com What: Philly Music Hall Where: Philly Music Hall, Tacony Who’s it for: Members only aged 18 and up.

Cost and info: $50 monthly and reduced rates on special events. phillymusichall.com/ What: Pleasurecation When and where: Pleasure Garden, first Friday of each month Who’s it for: People aged 21 and with identification, Kissing Couples (MF, MM, FF) Cost and info: $40 couples, $20 Single Females; $80 Single Males. pleasurecationparty.com

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019

10

FOOD

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

Valerie Safran and Marcie Turney, owners and operators of Midtown establishments Bud & Marilyn’s, Jamonera, Barbuzzo and more, with the newest addition to their empire, their daughter, Harlow. | Image: Rachel Utain-Evans

And baby

makes complete Staying grounded by way of baby girl for Philadelphia’s first ladies of casual fare AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

A

s with most old-world tablishments in Midtown Village, broods in South Phila- and they hoped to start a family delphia, Sunday night at since the earliest days of their rePalizzi Social Club, the pri- lationship. In July, the duo made it vate establishment along S. 12th happen with the adoption of their St., is for red gravy, Brascibaby girl, Harlow. ole, spaghetti with crabs and On a hot summer end-ofBY A.D. time with family.

July night at Palizzi, Chef TurAMOROSI One particular Sunday ney, the organizational whiz night found this sentiment that is Val Safran and baby especially true for Valerie Safran Harlow, who is very possibly the and Marcie Turney, the first ladies youngest person to hold memberof Philadelphia’s restaurant scene. ship privileges at the South Philly The couple of 18 years owns and Social Club, dined opulently with operates much of the dining es- their pals.

FOOD

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

Bud & Marilyn’s, arguably the flagship of the Safran-Turney restaurant empire, has plans for a spinoff inside the Philadelphia International Airport very soon. | Image courtesy: Visit Philadelphia

“We wanted a chill place that still felt a little classy, especially since we will probably spend the next 10 years at Chuck E. Cheese for parties...we figured we better make this a good one,” Safran joked of her Palizzi dining experience. “It was perfect. Great food, lots of friends and family, and it was just easy. We spent so many years working so hard that we just want things to be easy. So we showed up and the staff took care of everything. Harlow just got passed around from one person to the next. Everyone was so excited to see Harlow, and she had a good time, too.”

The hard-working Midtown entrepreneurs behind Safran Turney Hospitality, who waded into that section of Center City with spots like Jamonera, Grocery, Bud & Marilyn’s, Barbuzzo, Little Nonna’s, Marcie Blaine Artisanal Chocolates and Lolita, chose to add a child to the fray.

They find the newest addition anything but complicated. This notion is made obvious by the announcement of upcoming culinary projects like the Philadelphia International Airport iteration of their cozy Bud & Marilyn’s, along with their brand new Loveluck restaurant and bar inside LOVE Park’s vintage “flying saucer” Welcome Center building.

“We’ve worked very hard for very long with little thought of anything else but business and food,” said Turney on a Sunday morning, prepping for a day’s hang with Harlow. “It’s our time now… for a family.”

Working for this moment How they got to maverick mega-success status is what made them famous. Theirs is a Center City romantic bliss and self-sufficient story, starting first when Turney and Safran met in the restaurant scene, fell in love in the restaurant scene and opened their first little store, Open House at 107 S. 13th St. in 2002.

Open House arrived at a time when the block was still mostly porn palaces, such as the XXX-rated Sansom Cinema, since replaced

by Michael Schulson’s Double Knot and the still ready-for-sex toy emporium Danny’s Midnight Confessions.

Famously independent with no partners beyond themselves — and no one else’s money to influence or override their decisions — Turney and Safran moved fast and furiously by smartly renting restaurant real estate throughout Midtown Village. The Mediterranean Barbuzzo, the modern Mexican Lolita and the Spanish wine-and-nibbles bar Jamonera line the length of 13th St., while

11

their homey take on Italian-American fare, Little Nonna’s, is but a few blocks away on Locust.

“This area has been very good to us,” Safran said, referencing the finding, nabbing and opening of the jewel in the Safran Turney Hospitality crown, Bud & Marilyn’s, their retro-American comfort food kitchen on the corner of 13th and Locust. Along with a food market, Grocery, they also opened Verde, their Marcie Blaine Artisanal Chocolate spot, all on the same block as the original, Open House.

Yet a pause for celebration also provided perspective.

“We got a little caught up in the opening of new businesses every few years,” Safran noted. “After the opening of Bud & Marilyn’s four years ago, we knew we needed to stop and make no new business-related plans for a minute. Our lives had been consumed by all of these existing businesses and we needed to get some perspective on life.”

Before that perspective went into full effect, the pair purchased four empty properties along East Passyunk Avenue between Reed and Wharton Streets, mere yards from the Cheesesteak Vegas of Geno’s and Pat’s Steaks.

SEE BABY, PAGE 13

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BABY, FROM PAGE 11 The idea behind the purchase was for several separate restaurant and retail concepts, none of which have even been fully considered as the couple have bigger (literal and figurative) fish to fry.

Then, Turney and Safran purchased their three-story living loft just blocks away from their Midtown strip of 13th St., closer to Chinatown, and brought in Kate Rohrer, the designer of Bud & Marilyn’s, to create a unique environment for the pair and the little guest they would welcome.

“We have a lot of businesses with a lot of stuff,” Safran said. “We spend a lot of time in restaurants keeping lots of employees, walkin refrigerators, office spaces and everything else clean and organized, so we wanted a super calm and clean house. For a long time, we lived in an apartment above Jamonera. We bought our current home a few years ago and worked with Kate, who is now working with us on Loveluck. [Our new house] has a Mid-Century modern feel and it‘s very edited.”

Safran paused and continued: “Well…it was edited until we somehow ended up with about a million baby toys, contraptions and everything else that comes along with a baby.”

‘A family to share it with’ As two married women looking to have, hold and raise a child, adoption was always an option for the pair.

“By the time we actually focused on starting a family, we were both beyond our child-bearing years,” said Safran, 44. Turney is 49. “At one point, an attorney told us that another option would be surrogacy because adoption could be a difficult process. This didn’t feel right for us, so we researched adoption agencies and met with Open Arms Adoption Agency. We both felt very comfortable with this agency and believed in their philosophy — open adoption is best for the child, birth family and ultimately our family. We went to numerous orientation meetings and learned everything we could about adoption. Adoption is complicated, but we are confident we can tell Harlow her story and help her understand her story. Now, I couldn’t imagine it any other way. Adoption made sense for us.”

How did Safran see a way clear through the noise of business and the constant, minute-by-minute hustle of the restaurant game to make room for a baby, in both her head and in her schedule?

“We are a few weeks out from opening a Bud & Marilyn’s at the Philadelphia Airport and will follow that up with the opening of Loveluck at LOVE Park by the end of the year,” she said. “Every day, I ask myself, ‘how are we going to handle this?’ Not so much the management of our current restaurants but the opening of new restaurants. In the past, we just worked nonstop until everything was set up and running smoothly. Now, with a daughter, we don’t have that option when

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opening new businesses. And yes, we do want to continue to grow. So our philosophy is pretty simple — we’ll figure it out. We love working and our businesses, but we also would not be happy without having a family. It would almost feel a little pointless to us to work this hard and not have a family to share it with.”

Harlow was born in Pennsylvania, with Turney and Safran having met her birth mother in an incredibly emotional visit with the mom shortly after Harlow’s birth.

“She was very brave in that she wanted to meet us,” Safran said. “She wanted to know we were real people who promised to love and take care of Harlow forever. We have great respect for Harlow’s birth mother. She made an incredibly difficult decision based on what was best for her child. That is not an easy thing to do.”

Safran and Turney took Harlow home a couple of weeks after she was born last fall.

Though her official adoption through the courts happened on July 9, 2019, the pair brought her home last October.

“When we got her home, all we did was just stare at her,” Safran said. “It was surreal.

This tiny little baby is now your responsibility.

I think I immediately started reading an ‘everything you need to know about baby’ book the moment she took her first nap. We had to figure this out ASAP.” Turney added that just like her, the now10-month-old Harlow is obsessed with ultra-sheer office Kleenex, as opposed to the normal things children are attracted to.

“There are toys everywhere, but I’m OCD, so it’s organized and I clean everything after she tornadoes through the place,” she said.

Following in Turney’s art school footsteps, there are art books and easels that the chef is hoping her daughter takes to. “It’s a nice, open, clean and quiet loft with a deck with a pool on it. She loves the water, even the bath.

We can’t wait to get her into swimming classes, which is exactly how we like it. You come home after a crazy day at the restaurant (or six?) and you want to be able to get away from all that noise and mess.”

Beyond just getting away, they needed something to move toward, something Safran and Turney believed that they needed in their life since they first became one.

“Truthfully, we worked our tails off for 15 plus years and had our heads in the ground,” said Safran about allowing the life of children and a family to nearly pass them by. “Then, somehow both of us ended up in our 40’s with no children and we needed to start the family planning process ASAP. I truly wish we had started five years ago, quite frankly. It just didn’t happen that way. Is it nice, though, to be financially stable and feel like all of the businesses are in good shape in order to be able to start a family, finally? Absolutely.”

That’s Val, Marcie and Harlow’s story. So far, it sounds like a good one.

@ADAMOROSI

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The music and influence of Bruce Springsteen goes global in ‘Blinded by the Light,’ in which a teenage Pakistani boy is inspired to become more because of The Boss. | Image: YouTube screenshot

Unique in their nature ‘Blinded by the Light,’ ‘Cold Case Hammarskjöld’ are two ridiculous summer films you should totally watch AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

“B

linded by the Light” is a reliThat all changes when a friend slips him gious picture in which the rea couple of Springsteen cassettes. There’s ligion is the music of Bruce something about Bruce’s lyrics that speaks to Springsteen. It’s the story him and causes him to suddenly develop conof a young man whose exisfidence, land a cute girlfriend (Nell Williams) tence is terrible and hopeless and show heretofore unseen skills as a writer.

— but once he discovers The He also starts dressing like Bruce — well, perBoss, just about every aspect of his haps more like John Cusack in that life instantly gets better. one flashback scene in “High FidelIt’s wildly corny, sometimes ridicity” — and develops a tendency to

BY STEPHEN SILVER ulously so, but it’s ultimately a winlaunch into full-on musical numbers ning film. based on Springsteen songs.

The film is based on the memoir The Boss himself does not appear

by Sarfraz Manzoor, “Greetings from Bury in the film, although he did show up at its Park: Race, Religion and Rock N’ Roll.” It’s American premiere, which was held, naturaldirected by Gurinder Chadha, who also made ly, in Asbury Park.

“Bend It Like Beckham,” who here applies a Does the whole thing play like an unnecessimilar template again: the conflict between sary commercial for Bruce’s music while also a South Asian teenager in England and the ascribing magical powers to it that don’t actuteenager’s immigrant parents, with the music ally exist? Yes. Does the movie stretch things a of Springsteen standing in for soccer. bit to make Javed relate so much to the songs “Blinded By The Light” is set in the small that Springsteen wrote when he was already town of Luton in England during the depths a millionaire in the 1980s? Of course. Is it all of the Margaret Thatcher era around 1987. ridiculously, relentlessly corny, including a Viveik Kalra stars as Javed, a teenager from a laughable scene in which Javed and his friend family of Pakistani immigrants, dealing with fend off a gang of skinheads by breaking into a shyness at school, his father’s unemployment, rendition of “Better Days?” Oh, yeah. rampaging skinheads and a life of general dePlus, the title of the sourcebook — “Greetspair. ings from Bury Park” — is a much better

slips him s. There’s speaks to velop conWilliams) s a writer. well, perck in that igh Fidelndency to l numbers s. not appear up at its d, natural-

FILM

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY name than “Blinded By The Light,” a song that’s much better known for its cover by Manfred Mann than Bruce’s original version. It also led to one of my favorite comedy sketches of all time, by The Vacant Lot, in which a bunch of men sit around a poker table arguing about what the correct lyrics are to the song (for those of you still wondering, it’s “Blinded by the Light/wrapped up like a douche/by the foreman of the night”).

Oddly enough, I had trouble being bothered by any of that, largely because the film is so infectiously joyous. Plus, the conflict between Javed and his father, while far from an original plot, is poignant. The use of those great Springsteen songs doesn’t hurt either.

In all, “Blinded By The Light” is much better than “Yesterday,” the other movie this summer about a South Asian immigrant in England who embraces a large piece of the classic rock canon.

Moving on, the debut of “Cold Case Hammarskjöld” in the aftermath of what was the curious case of billionaire Jeffrey Epstein feels like the perfect week to release a film about an elaborate, totally outlandish conspiracy theory — one that might actually be true.

“Cold Case Hammarskjöld” is a documentary from Danish filmmaker Mads Brügger that investigates the death of Dag Hammarskjöld,

the United Nations Secretary-General who died in a plane crash in Africa in 1961.

The film, which debuted at Sundance in January, ties Hammarskjold’s death to the South African Institute for Maritime Research (SAIMR), a shadowy mercenary outfit that operated in South Africa with possible CIA ties, and largely existed to sustain apartheid and white supremacy in that country. Even more wildly, the film alleges that in the 1980s, years after the assassination, SAIMR plotted to purposely infect black South Africans with AIDS. “Cold Case Hammarskjöld” is a lot like Oliver Stone’s J.F.K. It’s a fascinating, brilliantly made work of cinema, even though its conclusions are far from solid and at times are almost certainly wrong. For the record, I buy that SAIMR had involvement in Hammarskjöld’s death, although the AIDS thing is considerably more outlandish. They may have attempted to inject people with AIDS, but scientists reacting to the film appear unanimous that such an effort could not have succeeded.

Even so, the film is a fascinating watch that actually attempts documentary filmmaking as an act of news-breaking journalism, a trait that’s vanishingly rare these days. Brugger also does the Nick Broomfield-Werner Herzog thing, in which he makes himself a character and depicts his own part in the narrative.

15

I’ve always been generally skeptical about conspiracy theories. After all, for most high-level conspiracies to succeed, and not get exposed, it would require everyone involved with the conspiracy to stay quiet about it, forever, and not get caught or slip up or implicate their co-conspirators.

This view has largely held for much of the last decade, mostly because the majority of high-profile conspiracy theories (see: Obama birtherism, Pizzagate, QAnon, the idea that Jerry Sandusky was framed, etc.) are just so self-evidently baseless and ridiculous.

And then we have something like the death of Jeffrey Epstein, which seemingly had everyone of every political persuasion doubting the official story of suicide and seeking to pin the disgraced financier’s death on Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, the Russians or whoever else happens to be the nexus of evil in their particular eyes.

“Cold Case Hammarskjöld” does not make a rock-solid case for all of the things it alleges. But in terms of the murder of a former secretary-general, it does make a case strong enough to raise questions while also going into fascinating, investigative corners.

@STEPHENSILVER

‘Cold Case Hammarskjöld,’ a documentary that examines the mysterious death of a UN secretary-general in the 1960s, is quite possibly one of the most amazing conspiracy theories you’ve never heard of. | Image: YouTube screenshot

n unneceswhile also don’t actuh things a the songs as already se. Is it all cluding a his friend king into a h.

— “Greetuch better

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019

16

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M p

Photographer Milton Dienes was a member of the U.S. Army Air Corps 9th Photo Tech Squadron and was sent in just 100 days after the bombing of Nagasaki to document the destruction. | Image: Alex Nagy

AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

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Documenting

17

Despite the radiation backlash from the dropping of an atomic bomb, former Army photographer Milton Dienes says he has no ill effects from being in Nagasaki just a little more than three months after the explosion. | Image: Alex Nagy

destruction Meet the Philly area man whose war photography is of historic proportion

I

t has been 74 years since it recalled Dienes, 95, inside his curoccurred, but Milton Dienes rent King of Prussia home. still remembers every de- Sent to Nagasaki to photograph tail of his experience as the widespread destruction a a member of the U.S. Army Air mere 100 days after the atom Corps 9th Photo Tech Squadron bomb fell, Dienes and a small group of fellow soldiers went during World War II. On August 6, 1945, the BY ALEX to the city without any proworld’s first atomic bomb NAGY tection against the radiation.

Despite this, he affirms that was dropped on the city of Hiroshima. Nagasaki soon fol- he never suffered any radiation lowed just three days later on Au- effects.

“I mean, I don’t glow at night,” he gust 9.

Dienes’ responsibilities on the joked. squad were to process and print Dienes took 50 photos home photographs taken by pilots on with him after being discharged the 20th Air Corp Reconnaissance from service in March of 1946. He and Intelligence Squadron Task still has the original copies of these photos to this day, and they are in Force.

“At one point, we were process- nearly perfect condition, aside ing up to 14,000 pictures a day,” from maybe one or two prints.

SEE MILTON, PAGE 18

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019

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Milton Dienes, who photographed the bombing of Nagaski in August 1945, was honored on August 2016 by the 14th Intelligence Squadron at Wright Air Force Base. | Image: Alex Nagy

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All 50 of Dienes’ photos are featured in the Library of Congress, The Air Force Archives and The National Archives.

Ask him and Dienes doesn’t hesitate to eagerly showcase his perfectly preserved collection. While on the ground in Nagasaki, Dienes explained he only chose to focus on the bomb-ravaged buildings and streets instead of the people, primarily out of respect for those affected by the radiation.

“What’s very interesting is that none of the smokestacks fell down,” Dienes pointed out in a few photographs. “Which is pretty damn fascinating, especially considering the amount of destruction throughout the city.”

Dienes was called to serve in May 1944, which was the end of his sophomore year at Penn State, where he was a pre-med student.

However, he managed to defer his enlistment because his parents were throwing a party for their anniversary, but just 30 days later, Dienes found himself along the front lines of complete destruction, armed with only his camera.

A native of Philadelphia, he was the photo editor of Central High School’s yearbook, and then a staff photographer at Penn State, which first sparked his interest in photography.

In August of 2016, Colonel Dianne Hickey, the commander of Wright Air Force Base’s 14th Intelligence Squadron, located Dienes and fellow Photo Tech Squadron member Jerry Johnson and honored the duo’s bravery and supreme call to duty at the base. They both listened to and each gave speeches and spent three full days being appreciated by the current squad.

“All 200 squadron members get up and start applauding and they didn’t stop,” Dienes said,

admitting this was one of the few moments in his life that found him choked up with emotion. The same for Johnson, he recalled, a man he’d never met. Hickey’s invitation brought them together, and they still keep in touch.

Dienes’ passion for photography hasn’t wavered in all those years. His extensive collection of personal photos is meticulously kept — each picture framed, signed and dated. His favorite types of photography are landscapes and floral photography. His collection also boasts plenty of portraits that manage to capture the subjects’ personalities.

Dienes’ favorite photo he’s ever taken, which he titled “World of Knowledge,” is a capture of the Galerie de Diane in Versailles, France.

“I waited until everyone left on my walking tour, I got on my hands and knees, I set the shutter speed and I got the shot,” he said.

“Tripods weren’t allowed in the building, so a shot so steady, clear and in focus like this is pretty amazing for a time of all manual photography.”

Dienes’ recollection of events is impressive.

Even with age, you’ll find a razor-sharp memory attached to a man extremely active in his interests. Despite suffering a stroke and going through speech therapy, he still continues to tell his stories. He most recently gave a presentation at the Freedoms Foundation in July.

“I’m not a rock star, I’m a pebble star,” he joked, choosing humility despite the fact that he’s one of just a handful of veterans that were on hand to witness one of the worst wars in humanity. Nevertheless, Dienes has played a major role in preserving those moments.

For him, that knowledge is more than enough.

@ALEXBNAGY

MUSIC

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Coming to

19

If you’ve never heard the addictively weird sound of Die Antwoord, then you’re in for a treat, as they’re scheduled to hit hard at The Met on Oct. 4. | Image: Wikicommons

the stage The close of summer is just the start of who to see in concert this year

BY KERITH GABRIEL AND ALEX NAGY

T

hey call these the dog days.

We call bullshit. Despite it soon being a wrap on summer, one look at the slate of musical acts scheduled to drive their caravan into Philadelphia means that there’s nothing to be sad about. The warm temperatures may soon chuck up the deuce, but there’s a host of great shows throughout the city worth looking into tickets for.

We aren’t talking the mega acts that sell out Philly arenas (although for you mainstream lovers, we added a few of those in our rundown), but mostly these are the bands and artists making a name for themselves organically. They’re the ones with a niche fanbase who get the love from jocks at independent radio stations.

The ones Bob Boilen insists we should all keep an eye on.

From our tiny desks, we corralled this rundown of shows scheduled at venues all across the city. It’s a sampling, but it’s one across all types of music, perfect for a city jampacked with all types of music lovers.

Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears

This group’s sound is all over the place, in the best way possible. Funky, punchy and bluesy, their music is a mix of everything that makes you groove. Think you can bear it? | Aug. 15. 9pm. $20. Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill St. undergroundarts.org

King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard

These are what we would consider bong-ripping beats.

Gizzard’s the perfect band to party, smoke up and air drum to. Through the haze of marijuana-tinted minds and music, they happen to put on a hell of a high-energy show. | Aug. 30. 8:30pm. $35. Franklin Music Hall, 421 N. 7th St. bowerypresents.com

Sammy Miller & The Congregation

We could all stand to be uplifted by some decent jazz.

Miller is a Grammy-nominated drummer whose band has collaborated with the likes of Lady Gaga and Queen Latifah. Let’s all unite as one nation under a groove. | August 1. 8 pm. $12. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. worldcafelive.com

Legendary Shack Shakers

These Southern guys have migrated north to give us a fresh sound. Their music is a fusion of rockabilly, blues and country that you never thought you needed to hear before. All you hoes better throw down to these banjoplucking vibes. | August 10. 7 pm. $15. Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St. kungfunecktie.com

Stereo League

Having formed last summer, this group is fresh in the Philly scene. They are a collective — their first EP, “A Light on Each Side,” features over a dozen contributing artists — but have narrowed down to a core touring group of five members. By this point, their second EP due this summer might even be released. | August 22.

8 pm. $12. Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave. johnnybrendas.com

Angels and Airwaves

It’s been seven long years without a tour for this band.

Honestly, we’re excited to see Tom DeLonge back on stage after leaving Blink 182. We were really scared that he quit music completely to chase aliens. | Sept. 14.

8pm. $38. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St. livenation.com

Agent Orange

We can’t wait for these badasses to drop a bomb on us.

These old punks have been yelling at us since the ‘80s, and we’re still listening. They were one of the first to mix punk with surf, appealing to rebels from basements to beaches. | Sept. 20. 7pm. $18. Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St. kungfunecktie.com

Die Antwoord

Let’s get freaky. This has to be one of the weirdest groups we listen to, and we fucking love them for it.

They’ll be here to school us on what makes them so cool when they make a pitstop at The Met as part of their “House of Zef” tour. | Oct. 4, 8pm. $39-69. The Met Philly, 858 N. Broad St. themetphilly.com SEE MUSIC, PAGE 20

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019

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MUSIC

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

MUSIC, FROM PAGE 19 The Black Keys

We always have a fever burning up for these two. Fuzzy, edgy alt-rock that runs deep into your innermost crevices will seep out into a 19,500-seat arena. Come out and witness just how much this duo evolves with every album. | Oct. 14. 7pm. $39.50. Wells Fargo Center, 3601 S. Broad St. wellsfargocenterphilly.com

Big Thief

The only thing they’ll steal from you is your heart. This band’s known for being deep and connecting with fans through vulnerable lyrics. Their music feels like a shroomsenhanced carriage ride through a wheat field to find yourself — or something like that. | Nov. 9. 8:30pm. $23.

Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St. utphilly.com

Pigface

This band’s known specifically for their crazy-ass shows.

Think Nine Inch Nails-level heavy shit. Pigface hasn’t toured in about 14 years, so chances are they’ll let rip all they’ve had bottled up. | Nov. 18. 7:30pm. $30.50. Theatre of the Living Arts, 334 South St. tlaphilly.com

Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears are one sweet ass treat headed to Underground Arts on Aug. 15. | Image: Facebook

You Still Have Choices in Philly!

Have you researched your local school and wondered if you had

better choices? You still have options and time to make a change for your child. Join hundreds of other families in Philadelphia by choosing PA Virtual Charter School.

PA Virtual is now enrolling for the fall. PA Virtual is a tuition-free*, online, public school available to students in grades k-12. Students attend school from the comfort of their homes and participate in live online classes led by experienced

PA Virtual teachers. PA Virtual provides the tools your child needs for school including a laptop, printer/scanner, textbooks, and all curricular materials. The school also provides technical support and assistance with internet costs for enrolled students.

PA Virtual has the best academic performance of all cyber charter schools in the state**. PA Virtual is also one of the longest-running cyber schools; the school’s charter was recently renewed by the Department of Education through 2024.

No worries, PA Virtual does not have a waitlist for the 19-20 school students is Monday, August 26th. If you are interested in receiving more information, please visit: pavirtualchoice.org

Join the PA Virtual Family & Apply Now at: pavirtualchoice.org AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

We’re not sure how Cher released 26 fucking studio albums in her career and has yet to show her age. She’s literally the G.O.A.T. of wigs and faces and one who is so damn popular that she had to add a second stop in Philly by popular demand. You know what they say — when the world bursts into flames, all that will be left is Cher and cockroaches. At least, someone out there must say that.

Maybe. | Dec. 6. 8pm. $48. Wells Fargo Center, 3601 S. Broad St. wellsfargocenterphilly.com

The Starting Line

We weren’t sure if we’d ever see these guys again. These Philly-based pop-punks are back on the road, courtesy of their “Est. 1999” tour. They haven’t released anything since 2012, so you’ll probably get treated to a slew of new material...assuming there’s new music coming down the road. Just hang in there; your patience will get you past the finish line. | Dec. 21. 8:30pm. $32.50. Franklin Music Hall, 421 N. 7th St. bowerypresents.com

@PHILLYWEEKLY

Fast Facts About PA Virtual

Where Are You Sending Your Child to School this Fall?

The new school year is just around the corner and you may be thinking about where you will send your child to school. Will you send them back to the same school they attended last year?

Cher

Longevity: PA Virtual celebrates its 18th birthday this September!

The Experience: Students attend class online, and the parents to meet.

Support: New families attend a two-week online orientation to help transition to the virtual model.

Tools: Students receive a laptop, printer/scanner, and all curricular materials.

Public: PA Virtual is a public school, so there are no tuition costs* to the family.

Upcoming Open House Dates • August 13th @ 6:00 PM • August 21st @ 12:00 PM RSVP by typing this link in your browser: pavirtualrsvp.org.

After you complete the short form, we’ll send you the information for the session.

*As a public school, PA Virtual is funded by Pennsylvania Taxpayer dollars. of Education in December of 2018.

PUZZLES

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

21

yesterday's uncle

Champion of the Bored & Lonely

♫ We Both Hated Chemistry! ♫

This Old Thing August 15th, 2019

An eagle soared high above the Earth, effortlessly coasting above trees and mountains. He heard a whizzing from below and turned just in time to see an arrow pierce his breast. He cried, flapped his wings in terror, and began slowly tumbling, head over tail, no longer able to gain purchase on the warm wind. The ground rose ever quicker and he landed with a dull thud on an outcropping of rock, prostrate on his back, the arrow shaft pointing to the heavens he so recently owned. Warm blood matted his feathers, and in his gloaming moments of consciousness, he regarded the arrow, and saw that it was his own feather that was used to craft the fletching.

“Alas,” he mouthed with his final breath. “How often we give our enemies precisely what they need to undo us.”

SHANANANANANANANANA RENOTING MENULISE DIVANAMU HORIMMUC GRYNDHOE PNORKTY Why should you never trust atoms?

Compliments, Cwestions, Concerns, Comments?

PhiladelphiaAdmirer@gmail.com @ThePhiladelphiaSecretAdmirer 603 203 4766 secretfamily.com

Frankford Ave. guy- Some kid fell in the street yesterday, in a big crack. gal- Really?? guy- Damn you’re gullible. gal- …

47 & Baltimore guy 1- YO IT'S SHARK WEEK RIGHT!? guy 2- Sho ‘nough is.

Clark Park person- Someone missing a baby? (follow up: baby was claimed)

We’ll Find Each Other at the End of Our Ruined Lives: Just In Time.

If you hear something, say something.

Text your Overheards™ to: 603 203 4766

Have a Terrif ic Week !

left-rights 1. To continue through time 5. Sweeping in ambition 10. Place where drug deals go down 14. Knockoff Hydrox 15. Dividing lines in pie charts 16. Secure the services of 17. Source of sidereal light 18. Posting cowards 19. Someone who frequents 10 across 20. Formed when acids meet alcohols 22. Formed a lap 23. A list of choices 24. Get you out of troughs 26. The darkest part of a shadow 28. Popular gliding toy 32. Southern constellation near Scorpius 33. Narrow road 34. Disadvantageous consequences 39. Disturb the calm 41. Public house - seasoned yogurt 42. Indian salad 44. Tactical 47. A long narrow piece 48. Measures of acid content 49. A nonexistent place 51. Gets a sticker quadrennially 54. Standard time zone (acronym)

Solutions to last week's puzzles in the back!

55. Italian currency 30. Immediately (abbr) 56. Likely heard in clubs 31. A clairvoyant (acronym) 32. Storefront shelter 59. Reverberated 35. Part time troops (acronym) 64. Usually found with ends 36. Widely accepted currency 65. Artificial international 37. Sails for light wind language 38. Mix towards homogeneity 67. Precedes a margin 40. Binding strip 68. Tarantino’s fav 43. Shares our common 69. Giant armadillo ancestor 70. A dolt 45. Expressions of harmful 71. British Republican intent 72. Cleared of debris 46. Exit (2 words) 73. In the beginning 50. Brought down by Al-Qaeda up-downs (acronym) 1. Fail to keep 51. Killed the radio star 2. Skills acquired by experience 52. Select an item off of 23 3. Position across 4. Rent 53. A joy to the tongue 5. Held firmly 55. A partial floor below the 6. Bled ceiling 7. Bothers 57. Cause to move ina certain 8. Flowers or Simone direction 9. Break tranquility 58. Kill the volume 10. Opposable digit 60. Hercules’ third and final 11. Vertical part of a stair wife 12. Sporting area 61. Distinct smell 13. Near Galapagos Islands 62. Separate selves 21. To apply pressure and 63. That which is owed friction 66. Chop clean off 25. A bunch of stuff, loosely related 27. Shallow crater lake 28. Acute epidemic respiratory disease 29. Quick sharp blows

Hall Pass

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019

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THUR AUGUST 15

MUSIC

Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears

THE SCENE A WEEK'S WORTH OF ADVENTURES A C R O S S P H I L LY N E I G H B O R H O O D S

This group’s sound is all over the place in the best way possible. Funky, yet punchy and bluesy, their music is a mix of everything that could make you groove. Do you think you bear it? | 9 pm. $20. Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill St.

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY OUTDOORS

Nature Nights: Bat and Moth Night

Moths are more than just an irrelevant meme, and we all know bats are badass. Get outside and watch them in their natural habitat. Sure, you could probably just do that from your house, but you won’t get all the knowledge of the science behind these nocturnal creatures. | 6 pm. Free. The Woodlands, 4000 Woodland Ave. facebook.com

undergroundarts.org SOCIAL

Sip Sip Hooray

SHOW

Bearded Ladies Cabaret: Hairballs

This show will cough up some musical performances and celebrity appearances this time around. Don’t be afraid if it gets a little hairy.

Just have a towel ready to sop it all up. | 8 pm. $10.

World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. worldcafelive.com FOOD & DRINK

Low Country Boil

It feels like we’re in the South with all this damn humidity.

Immerse yourself in the culture completely with an old fashioned boil of a big ass bowl of meat, seafood and corn. Dress like you’re heading to the Kentucky Derby, and don’t forget to give your mama a kiss on the way out. | 6 pm. $58.

Evil Genius Beer Co., 1727 N. Front St. ticketleap.com

Philly Queer Bazaar Support your local LGBTQ small business owners, vendors, artists and more at this event which does a great deal into learning a ton about who is in your community, buying some stuff that’s definitely not coming from a big box and having a couple of drinks in the process.

The event will again be upstairs at Tattooed Moms and will feature queer business owners from all over the Greater Philadelphia Region. Check out art from Laurel Tree Bindery, Molly Bee Studio, Conjuring and tons more we don’t have enough space here to list. This jawn has always been about showing support for arts and the people that create them.

We’d also like to think of it as showing supreme love to the arts community of any and all types.

WHAT: Philly Queer Bazaar WHEN: Aug. 17, 1-5 p.m. COST: Free WHERE: 530 South St., Second Floor MORE: tattooedmomphilly.com/events/

AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

Network with some boss babes while you all take a minute to unwind. There will be wine, art, yoga, massages and more. Before you take care of your bank account, you have to take care of yourself. | 6 pm. $25.

Mangum Foundation Center, 3911 Lancaster Ave. facebook.com MUSIC

I See Stars

These guys are in town on a tenth anniversary tour for their debut album “3D.” You may have a song from this album on your MySpace profile back in the day. Don’t miss out on honoring them on this special tour. | 8 pm. $15. Voltage Lounge, 421 N. 7th St. eventbrite.com OUTDOORS

Night Market: Fairmount Ave.

Witness the neighborhood come alive at this installment of the night market event series. Party outside and

indulge in some good music, food and friends. Support an area with thriving local businesses. | 6 pm. Free.

Fairmount Ave. between 15th and 19th St. facebook.com ART

My Philadelphia

This art exhibit by the Bodine Art Center examines several stories of what it means to live in Philadelphia. Everyone has their own experiences and interpretations, and you’ll get COMEDY to see them all on display. It’ll probably change how you think about the people you This fine com see on the street with you. | breaking ou 5 pm. Free. Jefferson Health, She’s put he 111 S. 11th St. TV - she eve eventbrite.com work in the l Theft Auto g $23.50. Pun E. Laurel St.

Rache Feinste

FRI AUGUST 16

MUSIC

Trash Boy

punchlinep MUSIC

The Bi the Be

Their music will make you feel like throwing the middle No impendin Just an indie finger at the oppressive us some dre society we all grew up in. The They pay trib government is slimy and favorite rock the education system is a volumes one prison - let’s rage. | 8:30 pm.

“Interpreting $10. Everybody Hits, 529 W. albums - inc Girard Ave. and Hall and eventbrite.com $17. World C Walnut St. MUSIC

Common

worldcafeli

We’re just waiting for this MOVIES multi-hyphenate to do Broadway - then he has a shot at becoming an EGOT. Look out for an album coming out by the end of the year. | 8 pm. $44.50. The You can’t ge Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St. jawns on Blu thefillmorephilly.com watch some

Exhum Films: 16mm Cuts

CALENDAR

LYWEEKLYPHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

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OUTDOORS

Outdoor Movie Night and Backpack Giveaway

Common

Get your little superheroes ready to go back to school.

Treat them to a screening of “Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse.” Your kid will also get a backpack filled with all the essential school supplies. | 7 pm. Free.

DiSilvestro Playground, 1701 S. 15th St. facebook.com COMEDY

Rachel Feinstein

This fine comedian is breaking out onto the scene.

She’s put her face all over TV - she even did some voice work in the latest Grand Theft Auto game. | 7:30 pm. $23.50. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. punchlinephilly.com MUSIC

The Bird and the Bee

No impending sex talk here.

Just an indie band bringing us some dreamy vibes.

They pay tribute to their favorite rock bands through volumes one and two of their “Interpreting the Masters” albums - including Van Halen and Hall and Oates. | 8 pm. $17. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St.

hidden, never-before-seen films that have been locked up for years. Coming back from the graveyard for your entertainment only. | 7:30 pm. $12. PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St. ticketfly.com PARTY

Neon Nights Glow Party

You can probably guess what there will be a whole lot of here. Come dressed in bright ass colors and be ready to witness some crazy art installations. Your eyes might even bleed. | 9 pm. $35. Photo Pop Philly, 111 S. Independence Mall E.

MOVIES

Hidden Lives Illuminated

The effects of imprisonment on inmates isn’t always acknowledged. This is a screening of a series of films on life behind bars. It’s going on every day all month, so come back every time for a different story. | 7 pm. Free.

Eastern State Penitentiary, 2027 Fairmount Ave. facebook.com

eventbrite.com

worldcafelive.com MOVIES

Exhumed Films: 16mm Deep Cuts

You can’t get these jawns on Blu-Ray. Come watch some deeply

Neon Nights Glow Party

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019

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CALENDAR

SAT AUGUST 17

ART

Nipsey Hussle Tribute Exhibit

Gone too soon, but never forgotten. Let art keep the spirit of Nipsey alive at this exhibit in his honor. Free wine will be served as you observe the works of local artists featuring the musician.

Give Neighborhood Nip the artistic tribute he would have loved. | 2 pm. Prices vary.

Philly Art Collective, 253 N. 3rd St. eventbrite.com MUSIC

Pretty I n Punk

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY Overall, it’s a celebration of gender diversity in music.

The Drooggettes, Atomic Cretins, Crypt Strypper and over 10 more will be reminding us that female power is fucking awesome. | 2 pm. $18. Voltage Lounge, 421 N. 7th St. eventbrite.com LGBTQ

Philly Queer Bazaar

Supporting queer-owned, local business is always a positive experience. Come out to buy a bunch of stuff from a wide variety of LGBTQ vendors. Bask in a community that fosters lifetime support and friendship. | 1 pm. Free.

Tattooed Mom, 530 South St. tattooedmomphilly.com

This loud punk fest is focused on bands with a female presence killing the game.

FESTIVAL

People’s Poetry and Jazz Festival

Simmer down this Saturday with smooth tunes and sophisticated words. Rap legend Rakim will be here, reminding us all not to sweat the technique. | 12 pm.

Free. Vernon Park, 5800 Germantown Ave. facebook.com MUSIC

Hammer’s House Party

Hammer’s been off the map in the music world for a while, so you can’t miss this.

He’s coming around with Sir Mix-A-Lot, Kid n’ Play and Biz Markie. They’re bringing the peak of 90s hip-hop back to life. | 7:30 pm. $20-$80. The Mann Center, 5201 Parkside Ave. manncenter.org

MUSIC

No Place Like Home

The fourth annual run of this tour is returning this year with even more powerful hometown artists. No matter where their success takes them in life, let’s remind them why there’s truly no place like Philly. Show up and show out. | 8 pm. $10. The Foundry, 29 E. Allen St. thefillmorephilly.com INTERESTS

Clear the Shelters

On this day, all adoption fees for the Morris Animal Refuge will be dropped. Let’s get all these pups and kitties into loving forever homes. If you have the ability to take an animal , please don’t hesitate - now is your chance. | 11 am.

Free. Locations Vary. facebook.com

PARTY

Rick Ross

We’re all hustlin’ to catch this guy in our city. Come out to the club for a night of music, drinks and dancing with this star. Let’s show him why Philly is better than Miami. | Saturday, 10 pm. $30. NOTO, 1209 Vine St. eventbrite.com

Clear the shelters

AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

SUN AUGUST 18

COMEDY

Origin of the Joke

Comedians tell their jokes and explain how they were created. Ask all the burning questions you have ever wanted to ask a witty comedian. You’ve probably never been to a comedy show like this. | 8:30 pm.

Free. Liberty Bar, 2204 Market St.

eventbrite.com MUSIC

Sebastian Javier

Javier started out as “That Spanish Boy” on YouTube, where he gained lots of attention for his original music. His debut single “Nobody But Us” was released to the world at a show in which he opened up for Meghan Trainor. Javier is definitely a star that will keep shining brighter. | 8 pm. $15. Creep Records, 1050 N. Hancock St. eventbrite.com

FESTIVAL

Philly Caribbean Festival

The biggest and longeststanding festival in Philly is finally here for the summer.

Bring everyone you know to celebrate this beautiful culture. With food, crafts, drinks, performances and lots of dancing, there’s nothing you can’t do to celebrate here. | 12 pm.

Free. Penn’s Landing, 601 N. Columbus Blvd. facebook.com

INTERESTS

Trolley Tour: Architecture and Antiques

We get caught up in the everyday chaos of living in the city, so we don’t always get to catch all the fascinating history around us. This is the perfect chance to do so. Stroll around and stare at the historic houses of Lemon Hill, Strawberry Mansion and Woodford. | 1 pm. Prices vary. Philadelphia Museum of Art, 2600 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy. facebook.com

LGBTQ

Drag Brunch: Disney Edition

Forget princesses - we need queens in our lives. Come get your life as three local queens give us Disney fantasy realness. Exactly what we needed this Sunday. | 11 am. $5. Valanni, 1229 Spruce St. eventbrite.com INTERESTS

Pop-Up Pups

Come out to grab a mimosa, and maybe even a new

25

dog. The Pennsylvania SPCA will have some furry friends up for adoption. Buy some drinks to benefit their organization. You can even bring your own children or dogs with you. | 2 pm. Free.

Bok Bar, 800 Mifflin St.

worlds here. A long list of entertainers are ready to tickle your tailfeathers. | 1:30 pm. $12. MilkBoy, 1100 Chestnut St.

facebook.com

Great on Skates: Blast From the Past

COMEDY

Comics and Chords

What an uplifting event.

There must not be anything better to destress with than good music and funny jokes.

Luckily, you can get the best of both

facebook.com INTERESTS

A retro costume skate party?

We’re so in. Dress up and party to all the vibes of the 70s-90s. Ah, they were simpler times, weren’t they? | 7:30 pm. Free. Blue Cross RiverRink, 101 S. Columbus Blvd. facebook.com

Philly Caribbean Festival

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019

26 X

CALENDAR

MON AUGUST 19

LEARN

Butt Stuff 101

There’s plenty of people that wonder what the hype over anal is all about. Well, come see for yourself. Learn all the essential tips and tricks to get you or a loved one wanting more. | 6 pm.

Free. The Velvet Lily, 1204 Chestnut St.

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY MUSIC

Supercrush

We’re crushing pretty hard on this guy. Mark Palm plays in a bunch of hardcore, punk and metal bands - most notably as a part of San Francisco’s own Modern Charms. However, he appreciates a solo moment.

Come see his songwriting skills shine. | 8 pm. $10. Boot and Saddle, 1131 S. Broad St. bootandsaddlephilly.com

eventbrite.com

LEARN

Jumpstart West Philly

Get up and start being in control of your community.

This collaborative program encourages community members to be their neighborhood’s own developers through entrepreneurial and realestate skills. | 6:30 pm. Free.

Booker’s Restaurant and Bar, 5021 Baltimore Ave. eventbrite.com

MUSIC

Dinosaur PileUp

This grungy, British alt-rock band has been compared to Nirvana and Foo Fighters.

They must be damn good at what they do. The frontman does kind of look like Kurt, too. Nonetheless, these guys have their own vibe, so come experience it yourself. | 8 pm. $15. The Foundry, 29 E. Allen St. thefillmorephilly.com

DISCUSSION

The Business of Music and Entertainment: Panel Discussion

Anyone interested in entering the entertainment world should come out to this. Hiphop legend Kangol Kid will be there to speak on marketing, securing deals and staying relevant. | 7 pm. $15. TGI Fridays, 4000 City Ave. eventbrite.com

Butt stuff 101

FOOD & DRINK

2020 Is Too Late! Beer Garden Pop-Up

RefuseFascism.org will be hosting this pop-up in support of their organization.

In case you’re not familiar, they’re the ones that post all the flyers saying “The fascist Trump/Pence regime must go.” If you care to lend your attention to this organization - and have some food and beer while doing so - be our guest. | Monday. 5:30 pm. Free. Sam’s Morning Glory Diner, 1000 S. 10th St. facebook.com

AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

ART

WELLNESS

Modern Calligraphy Night

Holistic Health Night

Whether you’re designing something or you just want to learn how to write pretty letters, this is the class for you. Come sip a brew or two and learn the ins and outs of this whimsical lettering style. | 6:30 pm. $15. Evil Genius Beer Co., 1727 N. Front St.

This is going down at the Mt. Airy Monday Market. The holistic health community will be there sharing their tips on how to live a healthy lifestyle. Take their advice and you can make every night Holistic Health Night for you. | 4 pm. Free. Lovett Park, 6945 Germantown Ave.

sipandscript.com

facebook.com

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

TUES AUGUST 20

FITNESS

Murals and Miles

Take in all the beautiful artistic murals around the city. Go on a brisk jog/run through Fishtown and catch all the art along the way. If you want to see it at a slower pace, just schedule a walking tour. This is for those runners that can somehow have fun and enjoy themselves while running. Strange. | 6 pm.

Free. Lululemon Fishtown, 1424 Frankford Ave. eventbrite.com MUSIC

Live Band Karaoke

Don’t be intimidated - you don’t actually need to know how to sing to do this. If you screw it up, you may bring the whole band down with you, but we wouldn’t worry too much. Everyone coming out to this is just in it for the good times. | 9:30 pm. Free.

Infusion Lounge, 16 S. 2nd St. facebook.com DISCUSSION

hope for future generations to redeem any piece of this messed up world. However, just letting them know how to avoid all the horrible things that come at them in life and combat them with kindness and positive action is all we can do. | 1 pm. Free. Please Touch Museum, 4231 Avenue of the Republic. facebook.com

MOVIES

Movie Night on the Row Cozy up on one of Philly’s most historic streets for a free movie screening. Bring all your gal pals and future wedding party peeps to watch “Bridesmaids.” | 8 pm.

Free. Sansom St. between 7th and 8th St. facebook.com

DISCUSSION

Shaping the Clay Studio

Take notes at this discussion about how to move up from an artist to an arts leader.

The Executive Director and Curator of Artistic Programs of the studio will be letting us know how they got to where they are. | 6 pm. $15. The Clay Studio, 139 N. 2nd St. eventbrite.com FOOD & DRINK

Night of Funk

27

MUSIC

Beast Coast

This NYC-based collective will hop on 95 to perform for us here. Joey Bada$$, Flatbush Zombies and more will all be performing. We don’t blame them for naming this the “Escape from New York” tour. If you guys need a place to stay, Philly welcomes you with open arms. | 8 pm. $30-$99. The Met Philly, 858 N. Broad St.

WELLNESS

Sound Meditation Immerse yourself in a sound bath to cleanse your soul.

This meditative therapy involves listening to a sound frequency to bring you healing and balance. We think we could all use this. | Tuesday, 7:45 pm. $35. Haven Wellness Center, 1639 N. Hancock St. eventbrite.com

themetphilly.com

Not the kind of funk that gets you grooving. Well, it just might, but it’s not music. Try tasting tons of “funky” ciders that will get your tongue dancing. | 8 pm. $30. Kurant Brew and Brew, 436 E. Girard Ave. kurantcider.com

Raising Children in a Complex World

Here, you’ll learn how to tackle tough topics with your kids, like racism and bigotry. We’ve had moments where we lost all

Murals and Miles

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019

28 X

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

WED AUGUST 21

COMEDY MUSIC

Tubey Frank

Cherryveenzine - a Philly-based music zine - is hosting this record release show. Frank is a solo-songwriter that mixes blues, R&B, punk and pretty much every other genre under the sun into his music. Come out for the anticipated release of his EP “Euphoraphobia.” | Wednesday, 8 pm. $10. Ortlieb’s, 847 N. 3rd St. facebook.com

Really Funny Comedians (Who Happen to be Women)

Women are extremely capable of everything, especially of being funny as hell. Remind yourself this Woman Crush Wednesday of that. Catch some of the funniest women in Philly let it all out. | 8 pm. $16. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. punchlinephilly.com LGBTQ

Northeast LGBTQ Night Out

This isn’t limited to just one day of the week - inclusivity is celebrated every day at this friendly neighborhood bar. Witness art come alive on stage with a performance

by Mx D. Underwood. Feel free to come back every Wednesday if you want. | 7 pm. Free. SawTown Tavern, 4717 Princeton Ave. facebook.com MUSIC FOOD & DRINK

Weavers Way Farm Dinner

Dine out in support of urban farmers.

August is apparently the peak of the farm season, so this food is going to be super fresh - just like you. Bring your own plates, utensils and cups to this zero-waste, three-course communal meal. | Wednesday, 6 pm. $40-$80.

Mort Brooks Farm, Awbury Arboretum, 6336 Ardleigh St. eventbrite.com

AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

Whatever You Want Wednesday

Mir Fontane is here to give you whatever your heart desires. Any music, any dance, any vibe. The crowd creates its own night out, sifting through a little bit of everything until a peak party is achieved. | 10:30 pm. $10.

Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St. kungfunecktie.com

DANCE

100% Bachata Room

Bring a partner - or find one here - to dance with all damn night long. This night is all about the Latin dance.

Learn how to do it first from a couple of instructors, then DJ Jose Big Boy will spin tracks and leave the rest of the night in your hands. | 9 pm. $10. Brasil’s Nightclub, 112 Chestnut St. facebook.com

THUR AUGUST 22

MUSIC

Stereo League

Having formed last summer, this group is fresh in the Philly scene. They are a collective - their first EP, “A Light on Each Side,” features over a dozen contributing artists - but have narrowed down to a core touring group of five members. | 8 pm. $12.

Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave. johnnybrendas.com LGBTQ

Slayher

Catch Plexie Glass, Mercury, Lorna Doom and more being as disastrous as possible. A heavy metal guttural scream contest adds on to all the fun to be had here. | 8 pm. Prices vary. Tattooed Mom, 530 South St. tattooedmomphilly.com MUSIC

Lenny Kravitz We don’t think we’ve ever seen Kravitz without sunglasses on. Come see the musician that has been willing to transcend

expectations over his 20-something year-long career. | 8 pm. $40-$100.

The Met Philly, 858 N. Broad St. themetphilly.com MUSIC

Vandoliers

An alt-country band that is obviously from Texas. While twangy and honky-tonky, their music still draws on punk roots. Catch up with their lates album “Forever,” which came out in February. | 8 pm. $8. MilkBoy, 1100 Chestnut St. milkboyphilly.com LGBTQ

TransWork Job Prep Workshop

This workshop gets trans and non-binary people prepared to enter the workforce. Join in on rapid training sessions on creating resumes, workplace rights, interview skills and more. Feel more confident in your job searches. | 4 pm. Free. William Way Community Center, 1315 Spruce St. transwork.org SHOW

Here to Make Friends Live

Is The Bachelor your notso-guilty pleasure? Well, this is the podcast for you. This podcast all about the TV show is coming to the stage.

The name must be inspired by some of the bachelors’ motives on that show. | 8 pm. $25. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. worldcafelive.com

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

CALENDAR

29

FUNDRAISER

Drink for a Cause

Ah, what a relief - we have a great excuse to drink.

This fundraiser will be benefitting the Pink Boots Society, a npn-profit that supports women in the brewing business. While you fill up on beer here, you’re empowering women. | Thursday, 6 pm. Free.

The Bourse Food Hall, 111 S. Independence Mall E. facebook.com

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019

30

THE

BIG

PICTURE

Feel me flow It's impossible not to feel happy when you're riding fresh down Center City streets in the summertime. Proof of that comes by way of this week's Big Pic courtesy of Phillybased photographer Wave Lane. Have a pic you think is perfect for our series? Send it via mail@philadelphiaweekly.com or tag us on social media and use #PWBigPic.

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

SAVAGE LOVE

Shrinkage Q: I’m an otherwise healthy male of 54.

When I was a teen, my cock measured about six-and-a-half inches. Not small, not huge, pretty average. I never kept track of the situation down south, but suddenly I find my junk reports in just over four inches. WTF? Is this normal? Do men lose size/girth as they age?

I’m only 54! How much more do I have to lose before 60? And beyond? I’m single now and suddenly I’m afraid to be intimate with women I formerly would have embraced without a second thought out of embarrassment. My confidence is at an all-time low. I’m actually afraid to ask anyone out for fear of “exposing” the evidence. I assume there are no pills for this, but please tell me there are options.

– Shrinking In Seattle

as useful for sex, it’s true, but there’s more “observable” cock for other men to admire in locker rooms and at urinals.

“The most dramatic cause of lost ‘observed’ penile length with aging is weight gain,” said Dr. Winter. “As the average guy gains weight, more of his fixed penile length gets hidden, as the crucial sit-bone-to-skin distance gets longer.”

So your dick may not be any smaller than it was in your teens, SIS; it’s just that more of it may be hidden inside your now-middle-aged body thanks to weight gain and that damn ligament.

Q: I am 66 years old and a gay man. After a very promiscuous youth, I have settled down a lot as far as sex and mostly just masturbate, with a trip to the baths every few months. I have a question about “We have to make a distincorgasms. I have noticed since I’ve tion between observed penile gotten older, that my orgasm from length and actual penile length,” masturbation is very intense and said Dr. Ashley Winter, a board-cerseems to last about five minutes aftified urologist in Portland, Oregon. ter I ejaculate, during which I feel “Penis length changes in real-time @FAKEDANSAVAGE orgasmic feelings in my penis, legs, based on a number of factors, facand sometimes my whole body. I’ve tors that include levels of arousal, never had this before. Is this normal? stress, and ambient temperature. For this – Mr. Sixty Fucking Six reason, researchers like to limit variability by measuring the ‘stretched flaccid length’ in a “The question of normalcy in sexual warm room.” function is hammered into us from the Needless to say, most men aren’t observstart—but it’s pejorative and irrelevant,” said ing—much less measuring—their dicks when Dr. Winter. “As a physician, the relevant questhey’re soft. tion here is: ‘Does MSFS find this distressing “We know that almost ZERO home dick or harmful?’ It doesn’t sound like five-minute measurements are done in the flaccid state,” said Dr. Winter. “But unless SIS jotted down total-body masturbation-induced orgasms the room temp or precise level of arousal are painful for MSFS, nor are they interferwhen he measured his teenage penis, it’s un- ing with his day-to-day quality of life. So by likely he’s comparing apples to apples. Anoth- definition, they are ‘nothing to worry about.’ er issue—and a far less appreciated one—is Furthermore, they are not the harbinger of any dangerous medical condition. As you like that the penis is anchored to the undersurface of your pelvic bones, so nearly one-half of the to say, Dan, this is more of a ‘YAHTZEE!’ than average penis length is ‘hidden’ along the un- a problem.”

Anecdotal evidence—my own, a huge pile dersurface of the pelvis.” of it, gathered over the years—indicates that There’s a very special tendon—the suspenyou’re something of an outlier, MSFS; most sory ligament—that runs from the base of your penis to your pelvis. In addition to pro- of the older men I hear from with questions about their orgasms are concerned about viding you with some degree of control when you’re erect, SIS, the suspensory ligament their slow and steady deterioration, MSFS, also holds some of your dick up and inside the not their sudden improvement. (Erections are body. Men who want their cocks to look larg- harder to get, their orgasms are less intense, and their jizz is less abundant.) er when they’re soft and who don’t mind if their hard cocks are harder to control or flop THERE’S ALWAYS MORE SAVAGE TO LOVE! around during intercourse will sometimes have this suspensory ligament cut, which Read: PhillyWeekly.com causes the penis to “drop.” Their cocks aren’t Have a question?: mail@savagelove.net

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PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019

32

MARKETPLACE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY MERCHANDISE FOR SALE

General Employment

Non-CDL Drivers

Wanted

$400

Paratransit Operations

Immediate Positons Available / Paid Training / Benefit package Match of salary with experience!

Flexible Shifts Available • Safety Bonus Incentives • Great Company Culture Apply in Person Monday through Friday • 9:00am to 3:00pm 4201 Tacony Street, Philadelphia, PA 19124 | 215-992-8000 Apply online:www.philly.totalbusco.com General Employment

General Employment

AB MALE BLOOD DONORS NEEDED Will be compensated up to $85.00 for a complete donation, starting on their 2nd visit!!

In order to donate you need: Valid picture ID. SSI card Be between 18 & 70 yrs. old.

Be in good health. Walk-ins are welcome. New donors will be paid $40.00 for a full donation.

INTERSTATE BLOOD BANK 1250 N. BROAD STREET. PHILA PA. 19121 215-765-2554

JOB FAIR Easton Coach Company is hosting an in-house JOB FAIR in Norristown, PA Tuesday, August 27 – 10:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m.

310 W. Johnson Highway, Norristown, PA 19401 Hiring Drivers and Aides No experience required!

Immediate Openings! On the spot interviews! Paid training!

Competitive wages w/ rate increases Benefits including medical, dental, vision, disability & life insurance, 401(k) w/ company match, paid holidays and vacation time. Valid Class C license, safe driving record, age 24+ and drug free required. Email resumes to jobs@eastoncoach or call 610-272-1234 for details.

ECC is an Equal Opportunity Employer Stop by anytime to fill out an application!

BLOOD DONORS All donors paid $40.00 No appointment necessary.

Walk-ins welcome. Must be healthy and have proper I.D. Must provide Social Security card.Interstate Blood Bank 1250-52 N Broad St. Phila PA 19121 215-765-2554 Hrs. 7:00 AM - 3:30 PM General Employment

DRIVERS AllThree's Luxury Sedan & Taxicab looking for professional drivers. High income.

Set your own hrs. Please call M-F. 10a-4p. 215-333-1111

GENERAL AND TREATMENT FOSTER PARENTS NEEDED Open your heart and home to children of all ages New Foundations, Inc. 215-203-8733 www.nfi4kids.org

FLAGGERS ($12.50/hr) Traffic Plan seeks Flaggers to set up and direct traffic around construction sites. A valid PA driver license and clean driving record a must, good pay and benefits. If interested please fill out an application at 510 Hertzog Blvd, King of Prussia, PA on Mondayʼs 9am - 12pm or online at trafficplan.com.

VOLUNTEERS WANTED: Volunteers, College students, and college Videographers needed to join organization and work on making Independent Films and Television Shows. Please Contact AJ at 215-501-9956

COMMERCIAL INDUSTRIAL Store for Rent

12TH & PORTER 5 year lease minimum. Get it while it lasts. $950/mo. Call 215-432-0333 - 215-858-6569

For Sale By Owner

FOR SALE BY OWNER Renovated Townhouse 2bd/1ba Alder & Mifflin Reduced Price: $222K Call: (215)990-3405

AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

Legal Notices

Flea Market Sign-On Bonus

NOTICES

Phila Flea Markets at The Food Trust’s Market at Cherry Street Pier Presented by Aetna

Farmer’s Market Every Saturday Indoors and Outdoors

At the Cherry Street Pier Now thru Nov 16th 10AM - 2pM

Phila Flea Markets Outdoors At The Race Street Pier SAturdAy, Aug 17th, SePt 14th & 28th, oCt 26th, Nov 2Nd & 9th 10AM - 4pM Free Admission!

121 n. Columbus Blvd.

Phila, PA 19106 (Where Race Street Meets The Delaware River) “Come Spend The Day Shopping On The River With Us” www.TheFoodTrust.org www.PhilaFleaMarkets.org 215 - 625 - FLEA (3532)

NOTICES Legal Notices FICTITIOUS NAME REGISTRATION Notice is hereby given, pursuant to the provisions of Act of Assembly, No. 295, effective March 16th, 1983, of the filing in the office of the Department of the State of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, at Harrisburg, PA, on 8/6/19, an Application for the conduct of a business in Philadelphia County, Pennsylvania, under the assumed or fictitious name, style or designation of Gil Travel Group, with it’s principal place of business at Gil Tours Travel Inc., 1511 Walnut st., 2nd floor, Phila., PA 19102. The name(s) and address(es) of the (all) person(s) owning interest in the said business are: Igal and Iris Hami, 1830 Rittenhouse Sq., Apt. 10A, Phila., PA 19103.

FICTITIOUS NAME REGISTRATION Notice is hereby given, pursuant to the provisions of Act of Assembly, No. 295, effective March 16th, 1983, of the filing in the office of the Department of the State of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, at Harrisburg, PA, on 8/6/19, an Application for the conduct of a business in Philadelphia County, Pennsylvania, under the assumed or fictitious name, style or designation of Gil Travel Group/Kenes Tours, with it’s principal place of business at Gil Tours Travel Inc., 1511 Walnut st., 2nd floor, Phila., PA 19102. The name(s) and address(es) of the (all) person(s) owning interest in the said business are: Igal and Iris Hami, 1830 Rittenhouse Sq., Apt. 10A, Phila., PA 19103.

AT&T Mobility, LLC is proposing to modify an existing wireless telecommunications facility on an existing building located at 1720 Lombard Street, Philadelphia, PA 19146. The modification will consist of removing and replacing antennas at centerline heights of +/-85.02 feet, 91.02 feet and 98.02 feet above ground level. Any interested party wishing to submit comments regarding the potential effects the proposed facility may have on any historic property may do so by sending such comments to: Project 6119003036-MI, EBI Consulting, 6876 Susquehanna Trail South, York, PA 17403, or via telephone at (443) 866-1410.

AT&T Mobility, LLC is proposing to modify an existing wireless telecommunications facility on an existing building located at 2034 Rittenhouse Square, Philadelphia, Philadelphia County, PA 19103 (N39° 56’ 55.9” and W75° 10’ 30.8”). AT&T Mobility, LLC invites comments from any interested party on the impact the proposed undertaking may have on any districts, sites, buildings, structures, or objects significant in American history, archaeology, engineering, or culture that are listed or determined to be eligible for listing in the National Register of Historic Places under National Historic Preservation Action Section 106.

Comments pertaining specifically to historic resources may be sent to Impact7g, Inc., Attention Ms. Madeline Sarcone at 9550 Hickman Road, Suite 105, Clive, IA 50325 or call 515-473-6256. Comments must be received within 30 days of the date of this notice.

COMMERCIAL INDUSTRIAL Apartments for Rent

8500 BUSTLETON AVE. Corner of Evart St. Summer Special 1BR, $875, 2BR, $1,100 water & gas incld.

215-742-2261

Grant Garden Apartments Summer Special, 1 & 2 BR, 1 BA. $750 - $980 includes water. Laundry room on site.

Off of Blvd. 215-464-6411

Legal Notices

NOTICE OF PUBLIC SALE: The following self-storage Cube contents containing household and other goods will be sold for cash by CubeSmart, 456 N. Christopher Columbus Blvd., Philadelphia PA 19123 (215)922-3715 to satisfy a lien on August 27, 2019 at approx. 11 AM: www.storagetreasures.com: A012 Giuseppina Dicarlo A013 Steven White A043 Scott Effner A055 Matthew W Greisman B079 Reitha mae Ellis-broaddus B209 Dorian Killings C289 Rodney Linder Jr. C337 James Raymond C345 Samoya Slaughter C367 Tiarra C Black C369 Michael McKinley C378 Conrad Grey D402 Xavier Kimbrough G631 Ashley Dugan G640 Joseph Dougherty HOME IMPROVEMENT Windows

HAPPY WINDOWS

Shutters, 2-Inch Wood, Pleated Shades, Roman Shades, Drapes, Verticals, Mini-Blinds Discount Price With Installation

Call Eileen

215-465-7525 MERCHANDISE FOR SALE For Sale

EAGLES AWAY GAMES Atl on 9/15. Miami on 12/1 Tickets, Hotels & Flights Atl on 9/15. Miami on 12/1 215-752-6190

REAL ESTATE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

33

623-25 S ORIANNA ST QUEEN VILLAGE $1,199,000

COMING SOON - TWILIGHT OPEN HOUSE WEDNESDAY 8/14/19 FROM 5:30 TO 7:00 ALSO, SATURDAY 8/17/19 FROM 12:00 TO 1:00 AND SUNDAY 8/18/19 FROM 12:00 TO 2:30

An exquisite double property with 2 car garage parking. Sleek and elegant with modern conveniences. Four bedrooms.

Three and a half spa baths. Three 90% OF OUR outdoor spaces. Beautiful porceBUSINESS lain and wood floors throughout.

COMES FROM The open sought after floor plan – FRIENDS living room, dining room, kitchen, TELLING powder room and deck – are all FRIENDS. on one floor. A fireplace and highend designer influence amenities throughout. Please check our virtual tour and professional photos.

Kathy, Patrick and the

Conway Team Patrick Conway 215-266-1537 Kathy Conway 215-850-3842 Society Hill Office • 215.627.6005 Please visit us online at www.conwayteam.com

MAIN LINE SUBURBS

What they are saying: “I found Kathy and Patrick to be professional, honest, responsive and helpful at all times. It was a pleasure to work with them. Selling the home, I lived in for over 30 years was an emotional step which Kathy and Pat were sensitive to and applied no pressure. Their entire team was helpful when any questions came up. I would recommend them 100%.”

Hannah Wallace

CENTER CITY PHILA.

WILLIAM PENN HOUSE 1919 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia Rittenhouse sq • Rooftop Pool Fitness Center • Valet parking • 24 hr security • 24 hr Maintenance • All utilities included • Includes real estate tax no transfer tax

1309 SUMMER HILL LANE, GLADWYNE

5860 WOODBINE AVE, PHILADELPHIA

4 BED | 4.3 BATH | 6,465 SQ FT | $2,895,000

6 BED | 4.1 BATH | 3,725 SQ FT | $679,000

MAIN LINE SUBURBS NEW LISTINGS

730 Canterbury Lane, Villanova

442 Ashton Drive, King of Prussia

5 BED | 4.1 BATH | 5,358 SQ FT | $1,050,000

4 BED | 2.1 BATH | 3,318 SQ FT | $499,000

34 Sandringham Rd, Bala Cynwyd

1305 Summer Hill Lane, Gladwyne

Unit #923/924 3 BED | 2 BATH | 1,581 SQ FT | $499,000 Unit #705 2 BED | 2 BATH | 1,176 SQ FT | $499,000 Unit #510 1 BED | 1 BATH | 825 SQ FT | $310,000 Unit #2513 STUDIO | 1 BATH | 495 SQ FT | $185,000 Unit #1102 STUDIO | 1 BATH | 495 SQ FT | $170,000

LOT | 0.5 ACRES | $150,000

THE KENNEDY HOUSE

106 Airdale Road, Bryn Mawr

CONDO LIVING

1901 JFK Blvd, Philadelphia

SOLD

8 BED | 4.1 BATH | 6,200 SQ FT | $950,000

190 PRESIDENTIAL BLVD, #415, BALA CYNWYD

1228 Edmonds Ave, Drexel Hill

SOLD | 3,655

207 Wyndham Ln, Conshohocken 3 BED | 2.1 BATH | 2,604 SQ FT | $434,900

705 Conshohocken State Rd, Bala Cynwyd 4 BED | 2.1 BATH | 1,649 SQ FT | $419,000 4 BED | 2.1 BATH | 2,450 SQ FT | $300,000

19 Rock Hill Rd, #2E, Bala Cynwyd 2 BED | 2 BATH | 1,216 SQ FT | $175,000

JUST REDUCED 421 Old Gulph Road, Penn Valley

5 BED | 5.3 BATH | 5,217 SQ FT | $995,000

1310 Pine Road, Bryn Mawr 5 BED | 3.1 BATH

SQ FT

| $925,000

1417 Centennial Rd, Penn Valley 5 BED | 3.1 BATH | 4,371 SQ FT | $865,000

239 Trianon Ln, Villanova

2 BED | 2.1 BATH | 1,970 SQ FT | $625,000

191 PRESIDENTIAL BLVD, #824-25, BALA CYNWYD 2 BED | 2 BATH | 2,100 SQ FT | $325,000

1750 OAKWOOD TER, UNIT#1A, PENN VALLEY 2 BED | 2 BATH | 1,299 SQ FT | $227,000

1030 LANCASTER AVE, BRYN MAWR

4 BED | 3.1 BATH | 3,443 SQ FT | $839,000

1 BED | 1 BATH | 700 SQ FT | $128,000

1205 Chermar Ln, Penn Valley

2000 VALLEY FORGE CIR, UNIT#36, KING OF PRUSSIA

1607 Winston Road, Gladwyne

5 BED | 4.1 BATH | 3,356 SQ FT | $799,000

STORAGE UNIT | $9,500

4 BED | 2.1 BATH | 2,320 SQ FT | $575,000

200 Price Ave, Unit#4, Narberth

4 BED | 2.2 BATH | 3,197 SQ FT | $949,000

207 LINDY LN, BALA CYNWYD 4 BED | 4.1 BATH | 4,217 SQ FT | $575,000

625 FORDHAM RD, BALA CYNWYD 3 BED | 2.1 BATH | 2,495 SQ FT | $535,000

LISTINGS 717 Conshohocken State Road, Penn Valley 6 BED | 6.1 BATH | 6,508 SQ FT | $1,849,000

533 N. Spring Mill Road, Villanova 5 BED | 4.1 BATH | 4,716 SQ FT | $1,325,000

1351 Bobarn Drive, Penn Valley 5 BED | 4.1 BATH | 6,647 SQ FT | $1,125,000

3 BED | 3.1 BATH | 3,038 SQ FT | $799,000

CENTER CITY

39 Aberdale Road, Bala Cynwyd

LISTINGS

7 BED | 3.2 BATH | 4,020 SQ FT | $790,000

1812 LUDLOW STREET, PHILADELPHIA

2501 Pond View Drive, Lansdale

INVESTMENT | 1,650 SQ FT | $1,395,000

SOLD

809 LATONA STREET, PHILADELPHIA

200 S Narberth Ave, Narberth

410 SHURS LN, #A308, PHILADELPHIA

5 BED | 3.2 BATH | 5,749 SQ FT | $749,000 TRIPLEX W/3 -2 BEDROOOM UNITS | $749,000

1315 Bobarn Drive, Penn Valley 4 BED | 3.1 BATH | 2,400 SQ FT | $725,000

112 Sutton Road, Ardmore

4 BED | 2 BATH | 2,100 SQ FT | $599,000

3 BED | 1 BATH | 1,288 SQ FT | $299,000

SOLD

1 BED | 1.1 BATH | 1,260 SQ FT | $269,000

LISTINGS Unit#2006 2 BED | 2 BATH | 1,171 SQ FT | $485,000 Unit #1815 1 BED | 1 BATH | 871 SQ FT | $315,000 Unit #2824 1 BED | 1 BATH | 677 SQ FT | $310,000 Unit #1213 1 BED | 1 BATH | 872 SQ FT | $269,000 Unit#1819 1 BED | 1 BATH | 606 SQ FT | $219,000 Unit#1919 1 BED | 1 BATH | 606 SQ FT | $219,000 Unit #1512 STUDIO | 1 BATH | 475 SQ FT | $185,000 Unit#2911 STUDIO | 1 BATH | 522 SQ FT | $184,900 Unit#2816 STUDIO | 1 BATH | 517 SQ FT | $169,000

KINGSLEY COURT ROXBOROUGH NEW CONSTRUCTION TWIN HOMES

224-30 W RITTENHOUSE SQ, #1017, PHILADELPHIA 500 Kingsley Court 3 BED | 2 BATH | 2,000 SQ FT | $487,000 1 BED | 1 BATH | 570 SQ FT | $275,000

3419 SUNNYSIDE AVE., EAST FALLS

502 Kingsley Court 3 BEDSOLD | 3.1 BATH | 2,000 SQ FT | $486,500

3 BED | 1.1 BATH | 1380 SQ FT | $263,000

504 Kingsley Court 4 BED | 3.1 BATH | 2,000 SQ FT | $480,000

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019

34

REAL ESTATE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY New Listing | 1612 S. 19th Street Open Sunday 1 - 3

New Prices | 1005 N. Marshall Street, #1-3 Open Saturday 12 - 1:30

Welcome home! Enter into the living space with the open floor concept. The grande kitchen includes a HUGE double waterfall island, a wine fridge, grey multi-toned cabinetry, and stone backsplash with antique glass outline for a unique look. This home has it all with light hardwood floors, ceiling fans, a wet bar, a Nest Thermostat, outlets with USB ports, as well as a backyard, a roof deck with skyline views, and a 10 year tax abatement!

$960,000 or starting at $279,000/Unit

$590,000

New Listing | Pennsport The first floor of this well thought out renovation boasts an open floor plan with an expansive living room warmed by a gas fireplace leading to an ergonomically designed C-shaped kitchen. Oversized windows naturally illuminate the gleaming hardwood floors throughout. The kitchen is a chef’s dream with solid cabinetry, stainless steel appliances, and granite countertops. Enjoy 2 outdoor spaces! 3 BR | 1.5 BA

$285,000

New Listing | 2700 Federal Street Open Saturday & Sunday 1 - 2 Welcome to this stunning new construction home! The Chef’s kitchen features beautiful Calacatta Gold quartz counters, grey shaker soft closing cabinetry with gold hardware, herringbone backsplash and a large 7 foot double waterfall island. This home also offers wide plank hardwood floors, custom metal railings, a surveillance system, potential 1-car parking, and a huge roof deck with skyline views. Includes a 10 year tax abatement and a 1-year Builder’s Warranty.

$750,000

New construction triplex on a quiet street in Northern Liberties. Unit 1 is a bi-level unit with 3 BR, 3.5 BA, and a backyard. Unit 2 features 2 BR, 2 BA, a balcony off the kitchen and a balcony off the bedroom. Unit 3 has 2 BR, 2 BA, a balcony off the kitchen, a balcony off the bedroom, and private access to the roof deck. Includes a 10 year tax abatement. Units are sold separately or as a package.

Open Saturday 12 - 2 | 935 N. American St This storybook house is located on a quaint little street directly across from Liberty Lands Park. The home’s warmth and character continue when you enter the main floor, a nice open floorplan living space. The living room has high ceilings, an oversize front window and a wood burning fireplace with exposed brick wall surround. The enormous backyard is a gardener’s paradise with tons of mature plantings and a functional, custom-built potting shed. 3 BR | 1 BA

$399,000

New Listing | 1153 S. 18th Street Open Saturday 11 - 1 & Sunday 12 - 2 This beautiful brick-front row-home boasts all the modern upgrades. Upon entering you’re greeted with warm hardwood floors throughout and a wide, open concept.

The kitchen is appointed with white shaker cabinetry and abundant granite countertops. A convenient half bath and private patio space complete the first floor. Head on up to the roof deck for an unobstructed view of the Philly skyline.

$525,000

PW REAL ESTATE To advertise in this section contact Dan Tangi

215-543-3743 ext. 111 or dtangi@philadelphiaweekly.com

AUGUST 15 - 22, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

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