Philadelphia Weekly | September 5 - 12, 2019 by Philadelphia Weekly

FREE | SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019

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Sensory overload

Your guide to the two-week festival of arts, theater, color and incredibly fucking weird that is Philadelphia's annual Fringe Festival

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tions in m awe at the to put on a Yes, eve OK, I j that think I grew up say that, I stop. And m There’s th it comes to if you lik from a cer tain race then you m effeminate gested in m At the s many pro the arts in Barnes, P Art and examples) that going is not for easier to d knowledge we view so Simply is to try an But the esting: be arts helps certain sh Or someti et sales so a certain c have a pi where nea is devoted rary art an -- that high are $300 ap Granted VAL, in w FringeArt been you’ that cater wasn’t for of suppor quickly re terous as d some undi summer. But ther Extrava

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FROM THE EDITOR

Stage fright

keep acting, directors to direct and production heater has always been one of companies to keep the doors open and crewthose things that has always been members happy. It’s one of those catch 22 situa mystery to me. ations where unfortunately there is little solve Even now, going to a stage show or event while part of my -- I suppose I just wish that reasoning made job and even though I’ve been to for an easy answer. Arts and theater programs in schools withscores of plays and other productions in my time as a journalist, I still leave in in our inner cities are almost obsolete surviving on great initiatives from hard working awe at the production and dedication it takes teachers and school staff to bring outside arts to put on a theatrical event. organizations, developing theater partnerYes, even the bad one. OK, I just chuckled to myself as I wrote ships or residency programs to spark creativthat thinking that if the Hunting Park homies ity. I read about a phenomenal partnership created by an English teacher in Roxborough I grew up with as a youngster ever heard me say that, I’m not sure when the ridicule would where she has actors from the Lantern Theater Academy introduce students to stop. the works of Shakespeare. And maybe that’s exactly it. As I mentioned before, this week There’s this weird dichotomy when we put out our annual Fringe Fesit comes to theater and the arts that tival guide highlighting 18 days of if you like and enjoy it and your performances of all types. It’s a refrom a certain section, are of a cerally exciting time in Philadelphia as tain race or socioeconomic class there is everything you can think of then you must be either “boujee” or in the world of art, theater, dance effeminate -- or as it would be sugand discussion to take part in -- for gested in my case, “soft.” the most part at pretty nominal At the same time, while there are fees. many programs that try to make If I could make a suggestion for the arts inclusive for everyone, (see Fringe? Barnes, Philadelphia Museum of Offer a program that would apArt and FringeArts initiatives as peal to anyone looking to take in examples), there’s just this feeling @SPRTSWTR both curated and independent prothat going to see theater production gramming. Create a pass at one is not for everyone, thus making it could purchase for a small fee that would aleasier to downplay it then try to grasp some knowledge of what it is and its effects on how low that single mom to take her kid to see a few shows for a young student to afford to see we view society. a play or attend an event and not feel cashSimply put, it’s easier to hate on shit than it strapped. Pick a night that a marquee producis to try and understand it. tion is free for certain ages. But then again, here’s where it gets interAs for FEASTIVAL? First of all, lower the esting: because I’m not always sold that the price, but also invite cooks and chefs from all arts helps change that notion, bringing in over the city, not just from farm to table or certain shows or marketing to a certain type. fine dining establishments to showcase their Or sometimes even by virtue of making ticket sales so extravagant, it all but guarantees stuff. Why can’t the West Philly Jamaican restaua certain clientele in the building. In fact, we have a piece in this week’s Fringe Guide -- rant serve up ackee and saltfish at a table at where nearly every page of this week’s issue FEASTIVAL? Or the North Philly soul food establishment whip up a plate for event goers? I is devoted to the three weeks where contemporary art and theater feels like it’s for everyone can’t think of anything more that would show an authentic celebration of culture across all -- that highlights a Fringe event where tickets of Philadelphia’s vibrant neighborhoods. are $300 apiece! I love Fringe for what it represents and Granted, that event is the Audi FEASTIwhat it’s become in a very short time shining VAL, in which nearly all of the proceeds fuel FringeArts programming, but if you’ve ever a spotlight on just how talented and multiculbeen you’ll realize quickly that it’s an event tural Philadelphia truly is. But, like anything there needs to be a look inside as an organizathat cater (literally) to the city’s elite. If it wasn’t for it’s noble (and frankly vital) cause tion and cultural institution to see that there’s still some work to do. of supporting the arts in Philadelphia, you’d Trust me, it’s those miniscule steps would quickly realize this event is almost as preposterous as dressing up in all-white to eat food at go a long way in removing the mysticism and belief that people of a certain section, race or some undisclosed location in the middle of the socioeconomic class have when it comes to summer. thinking of something as awesome as Fringe But therein also lies as rub. as “boujee.” Extravagant ticket prices allows actors to

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The Birds are back, and we have the insanely overpriced tickets to Sunday’s season opener against the Washington Redskins to prove it. This week, State of Our City is dedicated to the news you need to know (and perhaps, some you don’t) before the 1 p.m. kickoff. We urge you to read and get pumped. For your tactile-inclined types, clip out our Eagles schedule and post it on the fridge, tack it to your bulletin board or tape it to the RV while you’re headed to the game. Look, Carson says he’s finally healthy, we still have arguably the best tight end in the National Football League (screw you, Travis Kelce) and we still have the best alternate jersey in the League. Obviously, we’re all about the alternative, so here’s some of that news you can use. #FlyEaglesFly

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2019 Eagles schedule date

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Sept. 8:

WASHINGTON IRRELEVANTS, 1 p.m.

Sept. 15:

at Atlanta Falcons, 8:20 p.m.

Sept. 22:

DETROIT LIONS, 1 p.m.

Sept. 26:

at Green Bay Packers, 8:20 p.m.

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NEW YORK JETS, 1 p.m.

Oct. 13:

at Minnesota Vikings, 1 p.m.

Oct. 20:

at Dallas Cowards, 8:20 p.m.

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at Buffalo Bills, 1 p.m.

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CHICAGO BEARS, 1 p.m.

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Nov. 17:

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS, 4:25 p.m.

“They have enough playmakers on the defensive side of the ball to make things miserable for people. They have quarterbacks, they have play-calling and they have offensive firepower. You have that, you have a shot. I think those two teams will be in the Super Bowl. [But] I think this may be the year Andy gets that Super Bowl.”

Nov. 24:

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS, 8:20 p.m.

Dec. 1:

MIAMI DOLPHINS, 1 p.m.

Dec. 9:

NEW YORK GINAS, 8:15 p.m.

Dec 15:

at Washington Irrelevants, 1 p.m.

Dec. 22:

DALLAS COWARDS, 4:25 p.m.

Dec. 29:

at New York Ginas, 1 p.m.

No. 5 will always...be in your ear The love-hate relationship former Eagle Donovan McNabb receives in this town is almost as epic as the former QB was himself during his glory days here in Philadelphia. This season, we’ll all find out just how much as McNabb has signed on to literally be a Monday morning quarterback as a pundit on 97.5-FM The Fanatic, alongside hosts Marc Farzetta and former Eagle William “Tra” Thomas. Needless to say, news of McNabb’s appointment drew vitriol from fans. According to an Inquirer report, Farzetta then called said fans “idiots” for their attack on McNabb. Look, man, it’s simple: No. 5 might always love us, but that doesn’t mean all of Philly plans to love him back.

-- ESPN analyst Louis Riddick on what he believes is the collision course of the Eagles and Kansas City Chiefs. It’d be a dream match-up as it would be student (Doug Pederson) squaring off against teacher and former longtime Eagles head coach Andy Reid. Here’s hoping he’s right about the first part and dead wrong on the second. However, we really do wonder just how many Birds fans would actually like to see Andy get one. Philadelphia Weekly Holdings, Ltd. 1520 Locust Street, suite 501 Philadelphia, PA 19102 215-543-3743

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PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019

Superterranean

WORLD PREMIERE

Pig Iron Theatre Company / Mimi Lien September 5–15 • 2300 Arena

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or the next 18 days, Philadelphia becomes a city overflowing with creativity. Its stage isn't always in literal form as much as it is imaginative as experiential art of all types isn't necessarily bound behind a curtain before its unveiling. With each passing year, the revelry, pomp and tragedy that comes alive each September is perhaps one of the most underrated aspects of a town teeming with a diverse collective of intelligent minds and passionate hearts. The proof is put on display over those 18 days. The proof is without question, Fringe.

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019

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Tragedy as parody A sitdown with Eric Jaffe, the flaming mastermind behind Fringe’s “Gay Mis” BY TIMAREE SCHMIT

ure, Fringe is full of alternative and queer content, but what if you want something extra, super gay? Fresh off their Drag Queen of the Year honor at the Philly Drag Awards, artist Eric Jaffe is bringing exactly that: the pomp of musical theater, yet somehow even gayer than one might think. The South Philadelphia-based musician has been a performer their whole life, and after finishing a BFA in acting, they started producing. They’re known for the wildly popular “Eric Jaffe Show,” a cabaret that has been running for five years at the Tavern on Camac, as well as being a founding member of Haus of Ham, a drag and comedy collective. Jaffe chatted with PW about their offering for Fringe: “Gay Mis,” a decidedly queer take on the classic “Les Miserables.”

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Philadelphia’s top drag queen Eric Jaffe brings their success into a parody of the classic “Les Miserables” as only they can, with a Fringe production of “Gay Mis,” beginning Sept. 7. | Image: Joe Mac

SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

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In addition to producing many shows of their own in Philadelphia, Eric Jaffe is also a founding member of the popular Haus of Ham comedy collective. | Image: Marykate McMullen What is the inspiration behind “Gay Mis”? How did it come together? Last Summer, I focused a lot of my energy into writing a full-length parody musical, “Thweeny Todd: The Flaming Barber of Fleek Street.” I produced and starred in the show that had a sold out run at Franky Bradley’s. It made me realize that combining drag and theatre is what I wanted to do. I knew as soon as the show closed that I had to start the next project immediately, and I was certain that I wanted it to be “Gay Mis.” It’s a show that I haven’t always loved, but I knew the music from an age that was way too young to understand what was happening. I had already written “Les Mis” parody songs as a part of my act, so I tweaked those around, wrote an outline of a script and gathered my team. I assume most people are familiar with “Les Mis,” but does someone have to have seen it in order to understand “Gay Mis”? The show will certainly be funnier if you know or have basic knowledge of “Les Mis,” but it stands as its own piece of comedic theatre that anyone will be able to enjoy. How does queerness factor into your art? When I was in college studying theater, I was constantly told that if I wanted to get steady work, I was going to have to “pass” as straight on stage. So I was taught to deepen my voice and change my body language in order to do so. When I graduated, I realized that I didn’t want to have to do that anymore, so I created the drag character that is Eric Jaffe. I knew that I wanted to blur gender lines and make theatre that anyone could be part of, and

where queerness would be celebrated. Many non-binary people are forced to choose a binary when they audition, and that’s mostly dependent on their voice part. Just because you have a high voice, doesn’t mean you have to play a woman on stage, and vice versa. It is my goal to tear down those walls. How do you balance the representation and stereotypes of queerness? Do queer artists have an obligation to represent queerness in a certain way or avoid/lean into stereotypes? As a kid, I was always told that I was weird, too flamboyant and out of the box. For the longest time, I was ashamed of these qualities, and at times I hid them to fit in. But I came to grow and love myself for the genderqueer, fat, femme person that I am. I’m happy to showcase an incredibly queer cast, and they represent queerness just by being themselves. Queer artists have an obligation to represent queerness in any way that they see fit. I feel as though I have an obligation to be as queer and loud as possible if only to show others that they can be too. I remember what it was like to be afraid of who I was, and if I can give others permission to let their queerness overflow, then I’m happy.

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What do you hope audiences take away from the experience that will be watching “Gay Mis”? First and foremost, this show is a comedy, and I hope that people leave in a good mood and full of laughter. I hope people leave with a newfound appreciation for queer theater. I hope that they feel empowered to create theatre and art for themselves, because that’s what I did. SEE GAYMIS, PAGE 10

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019

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GAYMIS, FROM PAGE 9 What are the benefits and difficulties of making this a part of Fringe? I am very excited to be producing [this show at] my very first Fringe Festival. I have already benefited by performing in [Fringe’s] scratch night and having my show in their Fringe Guide. It can be difficult to be a part of Fringe because there is SO much going on, but I am making sure to do as much as possible to stand out and make ourselves be seen. Which performance from the cast and overall production should Fringe theatergoers really be on the lookout for in “Gay Mis”? I have an absolutely incredible team. Foster Longo (aka Lili St. Queer) is our music director, teaching and maintaining the incredible sound and harmonies in the show, assisted by TJ Harris. Stage managers Marykate McMullen and Matthew Wojtal really hold the production together. There’s Jordan Leigh as our kooky choreographer, and my assistant director Joseph Lawrence (aka Sutton Fearce). The cast is literally full of LEGENDS, but watch out for Babe Robinson in her role as Fontina. When she sings “I Dreamed a Dream,” there will not be a dry eye in the house! Cabaret star

Shannon Turner as Mx. Thenardigay and Topher Laynton are absolutely delightful, and Chris McCollum as the ferociously hairy JaBear sings a ballad that will leave everyone feeling gassy. What other projects are on the horizon for you? Are there any dream concepts you would love to do? I am currently reprising my first production of “Thweeney Todd: The Flaming Barber of Fleek Street” on Oct. 22 at PunchLine Philly. My dream is to play Tracy Turnblad in “Hairspray,” DUH! But I will be jumping into my next parody musical right after “Gay Mis.” I’m still deciding between a few! Performing and producing in Philly has been a lot of hard work, but I love every second of it. Connecting and entertaining my community brings me so much joy. Gay Mis | Sept. 7, 7pm; Sept. 8, 7pm and 10pm; Sept. 14, 7pm; Sept. 15, 7pm and 10pm; Sept 22, 7pm and 10pm. $25 ($40 for VIP). Franky Bradley’s, 1320 Chancellor St. (Sept. 22 shows at Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. fringearts.com/event/gay-mis/

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Abuzz with

motion

Searching for something sweet at Fringe? .Consider the avant-garde dance performance HONEY

tâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time, Philly, to get artsy-fartsy. HONEY is one of the many scheduled performance pieces set to occupy the three-week celebration of visual and performing arts that is the annual Fringe Festival in Philadelphia. This show will present a montage of various dance moves that will use the movement of honey as a metaphor. Through movement, HONEY explores how we find sweetness in life, and how we maintain a flow to keep on buzzing through anything life throws at us. SEE HONEY, PAGE 12

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019

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October 5th 8:30a.m.- noon October Bishop October 5th5thMcDevitt 8:30a noon , 8:30aHighSchool m mnoon Bishop McDevitt Bishop McDevitt, Pa Wyncote HighSchool .

. .-

The number of neighborhoods across the Greater Philadelphia Region where a Fringe performance of some kind is scheduled to take place.

HighSchool, Wyncote Pa Wyncote , Pa Unless you have experienced poverty, it is difficult to understand ,

Unless you have experienced poverty, it is difficult to understand what like. Join us for a free Unless youit's have experienced poverty, it is Poverty difficult toSimulation, understand where you what it's like. Join us for a free Poverty Simulation, where you will take on the identity of a real personSocial in poverty. Social what like. us for aof free Poverty Simulation, you willit's take on Join the identity a real person in poverty. where HONEY, FROM PAGE 11 willworkers take oncan the identity of3a real in poverty. workers can earn CEUs for the event. Social earn 3 CEUs for theperson event. workers can earn 3 CEUs for the event.

HONEY was created by Melissa Rector and

Evalina “Wally” Carbonell. Both women have For more information contact the Rev. Toneh Smyth, For information contact the Rev. Toneh Smyth, been established in Philly’s eclectic dance Fortsmyth@diopa.org moremore information Rev. Toneh Smyth, orcontact registerthe on Eventbrite by searching for scene for years and still remain very active. tsmyth@diopa.org or on register on Eventbrite by searching for tsmyth@diopa.org or register Eventbrite by searching for "poverty simulation diopa." Rector has been working on stage and be"poverty simulation diopa." diopa." hind the curtains for over 20 years. She is the "poverty simulation

assistant artistic director at Koresh Dance Company in Rittenhouse. Carbonell is a dance artist at Kun-Yang Lin Dancers in Passyunk This event is sponsored by The Episcopal Diocese of Pennsylvania, www.diopa.org Square. This will be her fifth year presenting work at Fringe. However, with all of that time in the performance dance ethos of Philadelphia, HONEY happens to be the first collaborative project between Rector and Carbonell. In fact, it was Carbonell who told PW that if she produced the show alone, it wouldn’t be long enough. It was always a goal of hers to partner with Rector, who would ultimately bring a different perspective to the performance. “She started taking a more human, emotional side of it, and I started taking more of a nature take,” Carbonell noted. Carbonell has a history of making oneword titled shows that are metaphors for $6.5 Million Negligence whatever that word may represent in life. Past $3.4 Million Trip & Fall work in her dance resume are entitled “Milk” $2.7 Million Defective Product and “Seed,” which both represented sources $1.0 Million Liquor/Bar Liability of life, she said. After exploring these subjects, Carbonell $1.0 Million Slip & Fall realized that honey was the next concept she $975,000.00 Auto Accident wanted to work with for an on-stage perfor$750,000.00 Medical Malpractice mance “You think about bees and the creation of $600,000.00 Failure to Diagnosis the actual substance, and also movement wise Changing the lives of innocent victims and their families since 1965 it lends itself to a different picture as far as These hese results and cases are unique. They are shown to illustrate some of the cases sourced, handled, flow and smoothness coming from something settled and/or litigated. They should not create any expectations that our ﬁrm, or any ﬁrm can achieve similar results. very busy,” she said. “I decided to focus even more specifically on striving for sweetness.” She added that apart from the literal sense of the word, she seeks to explore the emotional ways that humans embrace honey. In the (Across from the Melrose Diner) end, Carbonell hopes viewers of the show will consider this question: how can we find sweetNOTARY PUBLIC - ON SITE ness in each other? SENIOR CITIZENS HONEY plans to impressively capture this SIMPLE WILL $100 theme through movement alone. This event is sponsored by The Episcopal Diocese of Pennsylvania, www.diopa.org

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“When you see a human body, you automatically connect, and as a person, you can sort of feel what they’re feeling vicariously because you know how your own body feels going through these emotions,” she said. “I think it’s a nice access point for audiences to examine where they’re all striving for some sort of sweetness in some way, shape or form.” As far as looking to drive home that messaging at Fringe? Its singular mission to explore, convey and promote art and artists of all types is what Carbonell feels poses a great opportunity for artists to put their work out there for all to see – and make a connection with the crowds that come out to see them. The importance of it all certainly isn’t lost on Carbonell. She sees it as a way for Philadelphians who may not typically seek out live performances to try something new. There’s something for everybody to see, she said. She also pointed out why collaborating with Rector on this show will reach a wider audience. “Partnering up with somebody who has a different audience base than mine – you know, we’re both dance artists, but we have different aesthetics and different people who follow us. It’s nice because it adds another layer to why the Fringe Festival is so valuable,” she said. In the end, Carbonell admits she’s probably most looking forward to surprising herself with her own show. At the time of this piece, just a week from the open of Fringe and just two weeks before the premiere of HONEY, she noted that neither she or Rector had yet done their first run-through of the parts of the show they each independently worked on. While most might have a bit of trepidation, for Carbonell she only admits enthusiasm. “I think it feels kind of risky to me pairing with somebody who I haven’t paired with before, and just seeing how our different works show up in that light,” she said. “It’s exciting to me.” HONEY | Sept. 13-15, 7:30 p.m. (Sept. 15, 6 p.m.) Chi Movement Arts Center, 1316 S. 9th St. fringearts.com/event/honey/

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Getting deep

Pig Iron returns to wow for yet another September with the uber-industrial, intricate sub-world “Superterranean,” a curated Fringe production that opens Sept. 5. | Image: Jauhien Sasnou

Pig Iron Theatre takes on that which lies below the surface, literally and emotionally, with “Superterranean”

own brain — almost as if its intricate, Mehen it comes to Pig Iron Thetropolis-like series of dams, refineries and atre Company scenic designtreatment plants were living characters who er Mimi Lien and director/ cofounder Dan Rothenberg, created all of their own thoughts. With that, the ghost in the machine not only “Superterranean” comes alive in a devised theater — Fringe Festival fashion: It’s the creator of its own 2019’s first lofty BY A.D. actions and reactions. production, starting September 5 AMOROSI “When we worked with Mimi on — is not the first time that the pair that first show, we were excavating have evoked or created new, undefeelings that were raw, still fresh finable worlds. Ever since 2005’s “Love Unpunished,” Lien has come in and from 9/11, and were looking to capture something personal, a moment in time beout of Pig Iron’s life due to her ability to dig fore a political lens had lowered over everybelow the skin of design. “Superterranean,” however, is the first thing,” Rothenberg said. “We wanted to talk out loud about hidden things, and Mimi got time such urban sprawl and industrialized that.” infrastructure beats with its own heart, dreams its own dreams and thinks with its SEE SUPERTERRANEAN, PAGE 14

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019

SUPERTERRANEAN, FROM PAGE 13 As Lien did with “Love Unpunished” and other work she has designed with Pig Iron, she offered options. “We might say that a play is set on a staircase, and what the staircase is will define everything that happens in the play,” Rothenberg noted. “Mimi got excited about the idea of staging defining the action. I did too, as that was something new with which actors had to contend.” Lien added that the joy of working on a seemingly limited palate — a staircase — without a script, and crafting a dozen different opportunities, was “a bewildering variety of permutations that tickled my architectural fancy.” Devised theater as open and emboldened was a fresh notion to Lien, and the liberated scenic designer ran with its free aesthetic. “I had never worked without a script, libretto or outline,” said an excitedly perplexed Lien. “That was a whole new world, new artistic territory, and changed the course of my work ever since.” Such change, welcome comradery and the ease and ability to try out mock-ups of staging on a company of willing Pig Ironers is all part of what gave Lien the license to be the lead artist on, and author of, “Superterranean.” “In each of our past collaborations, Mimi’s set has been a huge character, something the artists, in their interaction with, created the action,” Rotherberg said. “This time, for the first time, we started with nothing but Mimi’s fantasies.” Lien’s architectural dreams and feelings concerning volumes in space and how they made her feel would guide all of where “Su-

SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY perterranean” went. The scenic designer first approached the blank canvas of her infatuations in a cerebral fashion, thinking about parallel universes where people were impacted by their environment, and “the design of cities where said designs were aimed to shape peoples’ lives… a Utopia,” said Lien about an Ayn Rand-like existence that was overwrought and overthought. “Then Dan asked me about my obsessions, without over-thinking.” The answer was tunnels that connect one subway line to another and buildings that have complexity, history and specificity, yet still hold mystery (“Why does a pipe go into a building in a really weird way?”). She took Pig Iron on a field trip to a wastewater treatment plant to get a feel for her fascinations, a place that Rothenberg called “a scattered field of pumps and valves.” “On that tour, we all had an eye-opening experience, watching all of the steps that the water goes through to be filtered,” Lien said. “The notion of these spaces not meant for human habitation hold intrigue aesthetically and in terms of scale. They’re all so vast.” The relationship between the human body and such architecture, scale and permanence in comparison to our impermanence (“soft, flaccid flesh,” she said) drives the existential dilemma of “Superterranean.” Rothenberg said that Lien brings joy and awe to the proceedings, while he brings fear and agoraphobia. “Both are present in the work,” Rothenberg said with a laugh. How this all becomes theater is through “Superterranean’s” particular brand of minimalism — a Pig Iron signature — of small gestures, often inaudible dialogue and images.

“I knew the set would take up a lot of space, literally and figuratively,” Rothenberg said. “I got very excited about the notions of soft bodies and hard construction, all of which remind me of my feelings of seeing the hallways in ‘The Shining’. That fills me with dread — that feeling that such a long space might rip me apart.” While neither will describe the reality of “Superterranean’s” staging or spacing, both designer and director both believe that you should see nothing, “no specific action or drama, but rather, a fever dream of textures volume and soft bodies,” according to Rothenberg. “Puppetry that doesn’t look like puppetry. Acting that doesn’t look like acting, amid scenic pieces that should make you go ‘woah.’” Do any of “Superterranean’s” motivations or actualizations have anything to do with a Philadelphia stuffed with millennials craving newer-and-newer condominiums crammed into the center of a city? “I certainly think living in a city with such population density and its incoming infrastructure — to live on top of each other — urbanism and its impact, was a thing,” Lien said. Rothenberg, however, zoomed away from such gentrification and concentrated on the ancient desires of building one’s own structure, and the feeling that nothing can happen without these existing pipes, tunnels and water plants — as if we were under their command or control. “We’re trying to excavate that one moment where you drive by a refinery or a disposal plant, and linger on the feelings of awe and dread.”

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1,200+ The number of events there are in this year’s Fringe Festival, ranging from theater productions to art exhibitions to discussions and more.

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Life. Death. Hoagies. And now, a forensic look at the latest Fringe offering from Tribe of Fools, Operation Wawa Roadtrip BY A.D. AMOROSI

The latest on stage production from Philly’s Tribe of Fools is an exercise in love of both family, the bond it creates and the best thing to ever come out of Delaware County: Wawa. | Image: Terry Brennan

wo siblings, Lee and Joey, take a long night’s journey across the Pennsylvania Turnpike to scatter their father's ashes in his favorite place – a Wawa parking lot. Before it’s over, they’ll encounter a highly physical collective of acrobatic “turnpike ghosts and soda cave trolls,” and learn something about love, existence and computer-derived hoagies. SEE TRIBE OF FOOLS, PAGE 16

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019

TRIBE OF FOOLS, FROM PAGE 15 Yes, that’s a Tribe of Fools show, if everthere-was – a little controversy (a la Heavy Metal Dance Fag), lots of Philly (e.g. Two Street, Fishtown: A Hipster Noir) and scads of fast, complex motion, comedy, social import and deeply abiding poignancy. Under the gaze of ToF founder-artistic director Terry Brennan, company members Joseph Ahmed (director), Caitlin Corkery (author) and Zachary Chiero (choreographer) – starting at separate junctures and for differing reasons along Tribe of Fools’ (ToF) 16 year timeline – found zeal, laughs, and pathos at their Wawa. When, why and how did Operation Wawa Roadtrip gestate? Who first uttered that title? Caitlin Corkery: I worked box office for Fly Eagles Fly, when Joe mentioned he’d love to do something about Wawa for Fringe. No major storylines, he just felt like there was something there. [The]Tribe of Fools embrace of Philly and Wawa lives at the center of any true 215-ers heart. Earlier this year, Joe and I had a call where I pretty much asked him to just give me whatever was working in his

SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY brain – small details, any ideas for bits of movement, fragments, no matter how left field. One of my favorite parts of working with this group is finding ways to string things together or connect bits from other people into a larger story. It’s like working a fun problem-solving part of my brain and makes the work really collaborative. At a company meeting around that time, I threw out the idea of making it about a brother and sister scattering their father’s ashes because I love the juxtaposition of something really heavy and emotional happening at a place that exists in a much lighter part of our brains. Joseph Ahmed: I’ve been fascinated by the undying love that folks from this area have for Wawa. Friends who moved from here to Chicago told me recently that sometimes when they’re feeling homesick they look at each other and say “Wawaaaaa...” longingly. This grew into a conversation about how businesses like Wawa can be stand-ins or metaphors for home. And sometimes those stand-ins can actually get in the way of a more truthful experience of home. This ended up connecting with these theme of healing with grief – which is something I myself have been struggling with the last two years after a sud-

den and tragic family death. I have found that it is so easy, in the wake of loss, to grab on to anything that says FORWARD MOTION at the cost of actual healing. Caitlin began to spin the our plot from these conversations, and Terry was the originator of the name. I appreciate that Operation: Wawa gives us an immediate feeling of that urgency, of the characters need to keep moving forward to complete the quest no matter the cost. Or, you know, whether it’s really the right quest. Zachary Chiero: Joe wanted something that had to do with Philly, the idea of home, and places that we give meaning to. The perfect destination for our characters to be on an epic journey towards ended up being Wawa, and the plot, characters and the name of the show all came out of those original ideas. We’ve witnessed ToF’s looks at Philly icons such as Two Street’s take on the Mummers. How is Wawa different, Phillywise? Caitlin Corkery: Wawa is the Oz of this show – it’s the gleaming, promising destination that gives our audience a certain context but as the show moves forward it becomes less about the place and more about the people. I feel like this show has so many fun characters

in it that we’re not running a straight 70 minute piece of branded content; it’s the final destination and an easy, understandable access point but the show expands so much further from that origin. Joseph Ahmed: A lot of what I have always liked about Tribe of Fools shows is that the Philly-specific aspects of the plays act as vehicles for themes. Like in this one, our goal is to take that almost ridiculous love that so many Philadelphians have for Wawa – myself included – and to connect to bigger ideas. How do we grieve? Is it different than those around us? How do you define home, family, tradition? Is Wawa really better than Sheetz? Zachary Chiero: In terms of movement, it’s a specific kind-of challenge. This show has themes of avoidance, grief, and family, but it also deals with Dungeon and Dragon-style characters, talking sandwich puppets, and a giant moving car on stage. So bringing all of that together in the movement was incredibly fun. The idea of doing a Roadtrip was new to us, our characters usually spend time in our one or two places, so giving the impression that they were on a real journey, moving from one place to somewhere entirely different (with a raise in stakes for each step) made us think of new ways to use movement. Even though I’m the choreographer, I’ve worked with our director Joe and artistic director Terry Brennan very closely, and we all have put together sequences that push our actors and that we hope will take our audiences along on the road trip. Terry Brennan promises new ways of watching Wawa than previous ToF shows, with a different brand of physicality. Was that an objective/challenge going into Operation Wawa Roadtrip? How did it change what you might normally do? Caitlin Corkery: I’m a words person and Hoe and Zach are the genius people/dance wizards who know how flips work. I still gasp every time I come into a rehearsal to watch. I’ve grabbed people’s arms during shows because I’m so nervous about the stunts. I know it’s not cool but like, maybe everyone should wear helmets? I keep throwing this suggestion out to group but it has yet to gain traction. Joseph Ahmed: Operation Wawa Roadtrip has a few unique challenges for Tribe of Fools. The play features a roadtrip – a dynamic we’ve been teasing how to stage effectively since day one. We’ve come up with interesting stuff through a combination of physical elements and some really fabulous design elements from the production team. The other thing I’ve been excited to do with this show is feature a more flexible “ensemble” than many Tribe of Fools show has. Though all our shows are very ensemble-focused, we have a three person team in this who do way more storytelling work than just playing a character or two. Kyle Yackoski, Tiffany Bacon and Janice Rowland are doing this heroic relay race of playing around a dozen characters, puppeteering sandwiches, playing the guitar, you name it.

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200 The number of total artists, actors and production companies involved in this year’s Fringe Festival across a variety of different mediums. Zachary Chiero: We definitely wanted to challenge ourselves with this show. Having our characters in transit all the time is a specific challenge. This show is different for me in that its structure demanded movement where we didn’t necessarily expect it. But the team and the cast came in ready and with plenty of ideas as always. How much a part of THAT DIFFERENCE came from YOU/your thought process or motivation going in/through the process? Caitlin Corkery: I just have a computer. Joseph Ahmed: The idea of the show being a road trip, and that being connected to a flexible ensemble was initially my idea in the devising process - partially inspired by The 39 Steps style physical storytelling. However, what we’ve come up with is a more nuanced thing that’s been completed by Caitlin’s amazing characters and the incredible design ideas of the team. Our set designer, Peter Smith, has made this amazing car skeleton that we “Flintstones” around the stage using the driver and passenger’s feet. It’s not something I had ever conceived of, and is something I’ve never quite seen onstage before. Zachary Chiero: I came into rehearsal with fleshed out ideas based off of our preliminary discussions of movement sequences we wanted. The difference when those sequences were being created, was really thinking about the themes we wanted to play with. Avoidance, grief, family - how complicated all of those could be, and how different. For me, this was the jumping off point for different characters in the opening sequence, the Wawa ballet, and the finale. Three actors set to play 15 different characters. What is the challenge for each of you in which to clearly delineate the differences among them? Caitlin Corkery: The characters our three actors cycle through are all big – they’re surreal, draw on fantasy tropes, and each have a specific agenda they’re pushing. Because we’re playing big and extra weird, the charac-

ters are easily distinguishable from one another. Joseph Ahmed: This was honestly one of the easier parts of the show because there are so many elements at work to make these characters feel different. First, Caitlin’s writing lends them such compelling comedic voices, and then these are fleshed out by the cast’s choices and the costume and design elements around them. Occasionally we have to be careful about little decisions to keep them distinct – [kind of like saying] ‘Oh wait, those two shirts should be more different in color’ or ‘Can the voice for the Jaded-Ass Cop be a little more different than the highway ghost?’ but these are easy hurdles. Zachary Chiero: We’re working with five of the most talented performers in Philly. And our three ensemble members, Tiffany, Janice and Kyle…you don’t get better than them. The lovely thing about them is that they’re all so different, so telling them apart won’t be difficult at the onset. But the way all three of them masterfully (and hilariously) disappear into the million characters they play is so seamless, you’ll start forgetting about ‘which is which’ quickly and just start being excited for each new ridiculous person our leads meet along this journey. What was your greatest challenge during its start…rehearsal process? Did much change – especially the script – from its start? Caitlin Corkery: A huge challenge is balancing all the weird and funny that we love to include our shows while still protecting the heart. We’re always checking in to see if we still care about these characters, if these characters still care about each other, if we’re still invested in their journey. We love a good two high an acro vocab word! I’m learning – and a comedic bit but I think those are secondary to the emotional through-line of the show. We need equal measures of flips and feelings. Flips ‘n’ Feelings, Tribe of Fools Trademark, 2019. Patent Masters, please make it so. SEE TRIBE OF FOOLS, PAGE 18

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TRIBE OF FOOLS, FROM PAGE 17 Joseph Ahmed: The joys and challenges of telling a new story is that things are always in flux. We don’t have the comfort of an unassailable script, which means there are often too many cooks in the kitchen and many bad ideas among the good ones. The script has definitely changed from its first version, but this has been a slow process, like a snake shedding skins. As we learn about the characters and plot in the rehearsal process, we cut, clarify and re-interpret. I’m actually about to go into tech where I’m sure even more little sprouts of ideas will grow to maturity when we start to see all the design elements in place. Who knows? It’s exciting, and a little terrifying. Zachary Chiero: Tribe of Fools’ process is always very collaborative. Many, many things [have changed since] day one, and I am incredibly proud to be a part of a company that works so hard to make our original show the absolute best they can be – even up until the very last day. Big changes often happen in our shows, from script, to movement, to characters. But I like to think we all have the show in our head, and each change we make gets us closer to the shared vision we all have. And luckily we have a cast and crew that believes in that kind of collaboration. What would you say is your favorite or most show defining scene and why? Caitlin Corkery: There’s a monologue a cop gives midway that made it from the audition sides all the way into the final script: Janice just nails it and makes me laugh every time. There’s a scene with one of the main characters and a resurrected imaginary friend that does some pretty heavy lifting emotionally while being by far the goofiest physical scene in the show. Joseph Ahmed: Oof, this is hard. I’m going to answer it two ways. In many ways the most defining scene is wild west-style brawl that happens when our two Wawa-loyal heroes wind up in a Sheetz late at night. I think it’s a lovely explosion of this rivalry that is so deeply embedded in people from this area (like really – Wawa’s where it’s at.) But to me, especially as someone who connects personally with the themes of grief and denial in the show, I’m struck by a moment between the siblings when they start to dive into how differently they knew the deceased person. It’s really easy to think of grief as this monolithic, universal thing - but at least in my experience it is so much more bizarre and varied– especially when you really get into what those relationships were like in life. How any two people in my family have been grieving these last two years is so different and personal that in some ways it’s hard to even compare – and it can be tough to find understanding through that when everyone’s hurting. Zachary Chiero: The scene where our leads Joey and Lee, argue for the first time. They bicker (hilariously) throughout the show, but the first time they really have it out

speaks volumes to me, and our performers (Taiwo and Jahzeer) act it beautifully. I won’t give any more away here, but I will say that it brings home some very complicated and real issues that I think we all deal with in terms of family. Have you guys heard from Wawa yet? They seem pretty protective of the brand. Caitlin Corkery: We haven’t heard from Wawa, but we’re big fans of the Wa and all the hoags they sling. This show talks a lot about how a specific place can take on a huge role in your shared memories with people. Wawa looms large in the Philadelphia imagination and our collective cultural scrapbook. In that sense, maybe Wawa really belongs to the people? Does this make me sound like a stoned freshman in philosophy class? Joseph Ahmed: I’ve had my head so deep in rehearsal that anything outside of it is frankly a mystery to me. Zachary Chiero: Not yet. We’re hoping they’ll think of it as free advertising. The Center City Wawa is only a few blocks from the theater. Everyone should go. What do you think Fools fans will glean from this show that they might not have felt from previous ToF shows, and why? Caitlin Corkery: Tribe of Fools tries to be very thoughtful and intentional about stretching ourselves every year. We’re showcasing different relationships, pulling from different genres, and hoping to build a show that’s not just entertaining in the moment but that sticks with you after. We want you at the Wawa counter waiting for your chicken salad with banana peppers on a six-inch [Shorti] weeks later and still thinking about a moment from the show or feeling some kind of something twinge in your heart. Joseph Ahmed: All of Tribe of Fools’ dig into a social topic – and Operation: Wawa Roadtrip is no exception. But in this show we really are looking more deeply into the nuances of how people deal with these big life things – family, tradition, grief. I think it’s both one a wonderfully wacky show and also one founded in really personal questions. I hope that we explode them in a way that will connect with people and their own families and loves. Also, there are just so many delightful bits in this wacky show that I’m tremendously excited to share with people. Dorito throwing star. Mario Kart blue shells. A singing radio cowboy who calls out your awkwardness. That middle school magic trick where you pretend to take off your thumb and put it back on. Zachary Chiero: Our hope is that at the end of this show, you’ll pick up the phone and finally call that person you’ve been meaning to talk to. Operation: Wawa Roadtrip | Sept. 5–9, 12–16, 19–21. Times vary. $15. Proscenium Theatre at The Drake, 302 South Hicks St. fringearts.com/event/operation-wawa-road-trip/

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Decade of decadence

For 10 years, Feastival has been a bona fide part of Phillyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s food culture. As long as you can afford to partake

BY KIKI VOLKERT

t took 10 years for Feastival, the annual culinary event of all things Fringe, to transcend its status as a mere fundraising event and become an institution in Philadelphia. Gourmands, arts patrons and philanthropists from all over the city are paying attention as Feastival continues on an upward trajectory with more talent, more opportunities to indulge, and, of course, more hype than ever before. SEE FOODIE, PAGE 20

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019

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The annual FEASTIVAL event heads into its 10th season raising over $3 million that directly aids the arts and theater initiatives at FringeArts and at the annual Fringe Festival. | Image: Dipesh Gurav

FOODIE, FROM PAGE 19 In 2019, Feastival will continue to carry out the mission that it has had since its inception in 2009, which is, indeed, to fundraise for FringeArts, but also to celebrate two scenes that are changing what it means to be creative and involved in Philadelphia: the culinary and performing arts scenes. Co-hosted by chefs Nick Elmi and Michael Solomonov and restaurateurs Audrey Claire Taichman and Stephen Starr, Feastival invites the best restaurants in the city to come to one place to serve whatever they want while artists perform near, around and above the action. On a broader level, both food and the performing arts have emerged as major aspects of culture in Philadelphia along similar timelines over recent decades. At this juncture, supporting both the culinary industry and the arts industry in Philadelphia also supports the new version of Philadelphia while celebrating what has made the city great all along. “Food, dining and performing arts are all about experience and exploring the senses,” said Rachel Swartz Robinson, director of development at FringeArts. “The food scene in Philadelphia has absolutely exploded in the last ten years and is very parallel to FringeArts' growth as an organization.” However, with a ticket price of $300 (and $450 for VIP), it's clear that the event isn't meant to be enjoyed by all lovers of food and theatre — only those with disposable income to spare. And it's a shame, since courting the city's elite only reinforces the stereotype that only wealthy people can be patrons of the arts, which seems completely antithetical to the welcoming, grassroots ethos of FringeArts. This year, however, Feastival feels like a homecoming of sorts. It will be hosted at Cherry Street Pier, which is where it was held for a few of its early iterations. It was known as Pier 9 at the time and was not yet renovated to be the design-centric, pedestrian-oriented space that it is now. For the past few years, the event was held at the FringeArts’ headquarters across the street. What Cherry Street Pier does is allow for more freedom for guests to move around, but, more importantly, it provides more space for performers to do what they do. Montreal-based performer Olaf Triebel will choreograph an aerial performance using more than 30 performers from Circadium, the circus arts school in Mount Airy. Feastival organizers

SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

are excited to use this 10-year anniversary to honor Richard Vague, a longtime FringeArts board chair, and Michael Forman, champion of the event. The food, of course, will be made thoughtfully and supplied plentifully. After experimenting with a neighborhood-based pairing program last year, Feastival is back to its classic format of restaurants setting up booths and serving representative dishes. There will be beef heart rendang from Sate Kampar. Michael Solomonov’s Zahav will serve up Lamb Merguez. Smoked brisket from Mike's BBQ. Desserts from Parc. And dozens of other custom dishes from more than 60 participating restaurants just for this event.

The number of years there has been a Fringe Festival event in Philadelphia. The oldest Fringe Festival in the world is held each year in Edinburgh, Scotland. That event began in 1947 and is over 70 years old.

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Only $21.95 With general admission tickets starting at $300, despite going to a noble cause, Feastival has always catered to a certain clientele. | Image: Max Kleinen As Feastival prepares to enter its 10th year, now’s the time to reflect on its success over the course of these years and how it has directly benefited the Philadelphia performing arts scene. Since its first year, Feastival has raised over $3 million for FringeArts. This funding has allowed FringeArts to build its permanent headquarters on Columbus Blvd., which, along with its own restaurant, La Peg, provides space for performing arts programming to take place year-round. The funding from Feastival has also allowed FringeArts to be able to expand a festival of festivals model, which now includes the comedy festival Blue Heaven, the artist incubator High Pressure Fire Service and the Hand to Hand circus. Feastival is valuable to the restaurants and bars that participate because it gives them a chance to innovate. Perhaps more importantly, it allows them to truly appreciate the work of their colleagues. Peter Woolsey, longtime Feastival participant and executive chef of La Peg and Bistrot La Minette, says Feastival serves as a de facto conference for participating chefs. “Many chefs keep coming back not just to support FringeArts but to socialize with a group of people that are all constantly working,” Woolsey noted. “There always has been a great sense of camaraderie in the Philadelphia food scene, and it is events like this that allow us to actually catch up and see friends.” The success of FringeArts is inextricable from the success of Feastival, which makes sense. On the most basic level, both food and

the performing arts are venues for sharing experiences, whether they are related to identity, circumstances or the better and worse parts of the human condition. Both draw people who seek to understand those shared experiences. Both are centered around creating a controlled effect. According to Woolsey, “the restaurant industry in many senses is a performing art. I fret over lighting levels, playlists and sound, and even the words servers use to describe the food. It is all part of the performance we put on every night, much like a theater does.” As Feastival looks toward the future, the event should — and might need to — find ways to include diners and performing arts fans with smaller budgets. This isn’t lost on the organizers of FringeArts, though. “We’re looking at ways to expand Feastival to a multi-day experience,” Robinson said. “This would be a way for a wide variety of culinary patrons to enjoy the Feastival experience in different contexts, like small dinners or more casual programs, as well as for other types of food and beverage vendors to participate in different experiences.” Perhaps this is one instance where the cliche of “only time will tell” holds immense weight. Audi FEASTIVAL | Sept. 26, 6-10 p.m. $300 ($450 VIP). Cherry Street Pier, 121 N. Columbus Blvd. phillyfeastival.com/

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PWpicks:The Fringe Festival Our collective guide to the curated and independent shows you need to see

You Are Not a Shining Star

This event literally describes itself as “weird, but not boring.” What it is an intrinsic look at how we view ourselves and the type of legacy we’d like to leave -- for better or for worse. The event is an entirely movement-based performance so for those that love a good interpretative dance, sounds like we’re all in for a treat --and a lesson. | Sept. 7, 8, 21, 22. 7 p.m. $15. Urban Movement Arts, 2100 Chestnut St., 2nd Fl.

SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

o we need to preface this by saying that after weeks of scouring the Fringe Guide, talking to show experts, actors, producers, etc., trying to narrow down this list to a handful of shows was nearly impossible. So we changed it up. Instead of selecting our top picks in general, we examined upcoming Fringe events by neighborhoods and selected the shows we can’t wait to see. Some sound thought provoking, some sound hilarious, others sound a little creepy and weird and we’ll probably bring mace to check them out, but what was unmistakable was that they all sound perfectly, Fringe. More on all of these shows and links to buy tickets: fringearts.com. Location key: Center City North Philadelphia Fishtown-Kensington Northwest Philly Old City South Philadelphia West Philadelphia

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Riot in Rittenhouse: A Philly Sketch Comedy Show

Normally, you’d have us at sketch comedy, but one that plans a timely dig on an ever-changing Philadelphia filled with luxury condos, yoga studios and more coffeehouses than there are people to drink coffee? We’re there. | Sept. 11-13, 8 p.m.; Sept. 14, 5 p.m. and 8 p.m. Philly Improv Theater at the Adrienne, 2030 Sansom St.

Translation: Cracking the Girl Code

It’s a musical. It’s about trans-lifestyles while trying to navigate the tough ethos that is the music industry. Considering we live in a society where being trans is tough in its own right, the bravery portrayed in this production is destined to inspire. | Sept. 19, 8 p.m. Tabu Lounge and Sports bar, 254 S. 12th St.; Sept. 22, 2:30 p.m. William Way Center, 1315 Spruce St. $20.

The Edge

Mythical Chinese Dragon

We’re back on the interdisciplinary train with this examination of people suffering from disease and the dedicated people who take care of them. It’s probably one you’ll want to bring a loved one to as healthy or ailing, will definitely provide perspective to you both. | Sept. 3, 7 p.m.; Sept. 4-5, 5:30 p.m.; Sept. 6, 7:30 p.m.; Sept. 9, 5:30 p.m.; Sept. 10, 7:30 p.m.; Sept. 11-12, 5:30 p.m. and 9:30 p.m.

This one explores the great mysticism and intrigue that is the Chinese Dragon. Created by Hua Hua Zhang, this event will look at her interpretation of this multifaceted creature in Chinese culture. It’s also an experiential event running through Oct. 4 so there’ll be plenty of chances to still check it out long after Fringe wraps. | Sept. 4-Oct. 4, 10 a.m-6 p.m. Free. Asian Arts Initiative, 2nd Floor Lobby, 1219 Vine St.

Basement

The latest offering from Fringe legend Gunnar Montana is a ride into sheer terror where our scariest dreams are realized via one man’s nightmare. Montana has never let us down, ever, so we’re looking forward to riding with him on this Enter Sandman quest. | Sept. 5-8, 10-13, 8 p.m.; Sept. 14, 8 p.m. and 10 p.m.; Sept. 15, 17-20, 8 p.m.; Sept. 21, 8 p.m. and 10 p.m.; Sept. 22, 8 p.m. $45. The Latvian Society, 531 N. 7th St.

Immigrant Concierge Services

A man who looks like he would be against immigration is rescued by migrants and in turn creates a business partnership that actually benefits both parties? Sounds like we should extend an invitation to this one to our nation’s current Commander in Chief. | Sept. 5, 11, 8 p.m.; Sept. 15, 2 p.m. $12. Philadelphia Mausoleum of Contemporary Art, 531 N. 12th St.

Siren Songs

This takes a deep and profound look at substance abuse through the lives of seven strangers. It’s a success story as each story depicts the long, hard battle that is a way back to sobriety. | Sept. 5-6, 6 p.m.; Sept. 7, 2 p.m.; Sept. 8, 2 p.m. and 6 p.m.; Sept. 10, 7 p.m.; Sept. 12-13, 6 p.m.; Sept. 15, 2 p.m., 6 p.m. $20. Warehouse on Watts, 923 N. Watts St.

My Last Revolution

Self discovery through martial arts for a tree-hugging liberal who finds deliverance is just one of many stories in this multifaceted performance. Bring an open mind and a Kind Bar and come check it out. | Sept. 13, 20-21, 8 p.m. $12. Yorick and Sons, 1864 Frankford Ave.

I Spy, With My Little Eye

Another story told through dance has us excited as it plans to take us all down memory lane to our childhood when board games were it. A much simpler time in a complex world is exactly what we need. And for you parents out there, this one is cool to bring the kids. | Sept. 12-13, 7:30 p.m.; Sept. 14, 5 p.m.-7:30 p.m.; Sept. 15, 3:30 p.m. $20. Mascher Space Cooperative, 155 Cecil B. Moore Ave.

Male Tears: A Clown Castration

Perhaps this is one where we have a simple mind. No one in our newsroom is a big fan of clowns but these clowns plan to poke fun at the idea of what’s masculine, what’s not and why it’s all still such a big deal to begin with. | Sept. 8-9, 7 p.m. and 8:30 p.m. SEE ROUNDUP, PAGE 24

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019

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A freaky way to look at healthcare is something we’re all about considering the state of health care (at least in this country) is pretty freaky in its own right. This one will be an overprescription that provides plenty to think about at the end of just 45 minutes. | Sept. 8, 4 p.m., 6 p.m. and 8 p.m. Free. Old City Art House, 144 Vine St.

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ROUNDUP, FROM PAGE 23 Circadium Presents: 4:18 AM/Chaos Theory

An examination of chaos theory an order as told through acts of juggling, suspension, and theater all wrapped into one 90 minute show. Contemporary circus is right up our alley, especially when there’s a story to tell. | Sept. 20-22, 8 p.m. $20. Circadium School of Contemporary Circus, 6452 Greene St.

Destiny is a Careless Waiter

Theater in a cafe. As a waiter cock blocks a couple and learns valuable life lessons while doing so. We were confused but overly-intrigued during the explanation of this one. Fortunately, intrigue won out easily, so we hope to see you all there conceivably at one of the last times the Trolley Car Cafe will be open for business. | Sept. 8, 11, 15, 22, 6 p.m. $18. Trolley Car Cafe, 3269 S. Ferry Rd.

Un Poyo Rojo

If you picked up this issue in its physical or e-edition form, then you saw the premise of what this one is about. Dance, athleticism, martial arts and clowning, mime and cockfighting are just a sampling of the American premiere of this on-stage dramedy. | Sept. 19-21, 8 p.m. Christ Church Neighborhood House, 20 N. American Rd.

Fringe Festival Bookstore OK, so it’s not a show, more than it is a chance to check out some thought provoking works of literature, art and more. If anything, go in get inspired and leave with a conversation starter. Sept. 5-22. Free. ThursdaysFridays, 4-8 p.m.; Saturdays 10 a.m-8 p.m.; Sundays, noon-8 p.m.

SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

Late Night Snacks

The Bearded Ladies Cabaret returns with probably one of the best nightcaps a theater goer or just someone not looking to call it a night just yet could ever have. Go have one more while you party it up as only a Fringe event could provide. | Sept. 7-29. Times, prices vary. 1316 S. Percy St.

Uumbal

Dance doesn’t care where it comes from. But courtesy of this choreographed piece solicited by anyone it’ll be on display through the streets of South Philly for your viewing pleasure. We’re talking scores of people just dancing, however they feel in unison. It sounds amazing just by the sound of it. | Sept. 7, 4 p.m.; Sept. 13, 7 p.m., Sept. 14, 4 p.m. Free. 5th St. between Shunk St. and Oregon Ave.

Everything Okay in There?

A story about being young, full of promise but not knowing where to start. A look at childhood, adolescence and adulthood through the eyes of one girl deciding the right path to take in all three scenarios. | Sept. 11-13, 6 p.m. $12. The Philadelphia High School for the Creative and Performing Arts, 901 S. Broad St.

H5: A One-Man’s Adaptation of Shakespeare’s Henry V

If anyone knows history then you know just how complex Henry V of England was. So it’s only fitting that his military mastermind and preminient dictator be portrayed in a one-man show for the masses. | Sept. 5, 7 p.m.; Sept. 6, 6 p.m. and 9 p.m.; Sept. 7, 4 p.m. and 9 p.m.; Sept. 8, 9 p.m. $10. URBN Center Black Box Theater, 3401 Filbert St.

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PUZZLES

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A TREE GROWS IN PHILLY

♫ A Lovely Arc of Letters ♫

Champion of the Bored & Lonely

Here’s the Thing September 5th, 2019

A spell for letting go. If you are haunted by a lingering ache, take a sheet of dirty or torn paper, maybe a used napkin, and write out the offending memory. Be sure to avoid specifics. Keep it general and defocused. You might then think to burn the sheet, but this is wrong. Burning the sheet immortalizes it, martyrs the memory, enslaves you to it. Instead, walk down a busy street and drop it to the ground. Let everyone read it with their feet. Let strangers violate its sanctity and let them relate to it. Make it mediocre before all. It will become frail and malnourished. The memory will crumble to an echo. You’re free. Make sure to not look back after dropping it. It will call out to you but you must ignore it. Avoid the street where you dropped it for at least a full week.

Horoscopes

for R eal Human Beings!

Aquarius An emotional upward spiral will rise beneath your wings and allow you to share a vulnerable secret or moment with another person. Open up and learn to trust again.

Taurus Infused with a dynamic dose of rollicking energy, you may find it an easy time to take down a big task on your to-do list. Harness the unseen tides that breathe all around you.

Leo Your finances may be a bit more precarious than they appear to you this week. An unforeseen expense may loom on the horizon. Best to put off big purchases.

Scorpio An adversary at work or in a friendship group will make a move against you this week. If you ignore them and turn the other cheek, it will backfire on them. Don’t get muddy.

Pisces Your powers of persuasion may be at an ebb tide this month, so it could prove best to wait before attempting to give a big pitch or attempt to step up a relationship.

Gemini Embrace your ability to multitask and juggle this week. Inching several projects or chores along at once will give you ample free time to relax at the end of the week.

Virgo Take an opportunity to learn something new in a field or skill where you’re already an expert. There’s always a bit more to figure out if you stay limber in your mind.

Sagittarius An argument will arise with a close friend or partner where you are correct, but no amount of reasoning or explanation will convince them. Let it go; they’ll come around.

Aries Pluck your fingers along threads of energy that rise from the ground like harp strings, and raiment yourself in a positive attitude—a golden glow of assertive positivity.

Cancer You run the risk of burning out if you don’t take a moment to yourself midweek. Don’t feed the need to pace restlessly between responsibilities without finding tiny comforts.

Libra An excess of energy can either be used to solve a personal problem or assist a friend. Both are correct choices. If you help a friend, they may help you later when you need it.

Capricorn This is not a particularly good time to bluff. Someone is onto you and you’ll be called out if you get too cocky. Only tell the lies that are absolutely necessary right now.

Food Truck, Spruce & 35 stoner- Can I get 20 lemon pepper wings? cook- I’m sorry, we don’t have lemon pepper wings. Only buffalo style wings: mild, medium, or hot? stoner- Well... then, can I get half of them lemon pepper? cook- …no.

Kindergarten little boy 1- Quick, give me the wand! little boy 2- No Semir! I’m not your butler anymore! Baltimore Ave gal- Do you like grass of bricks better? guy- Huh? What? gal- I bet you like bricks more. I like bricks too.

Compliments, Cwestions, Concerns, Comments? PhiladelphiaAdmirer@gmail.com @ThePhiladelphiaSecretAdmirer 603 203 4766 secretfamily.com If you hear something, say something. Text your Overheards™ to: 603 203 4766

Have a Terrif ic Week !

left-rights 1. Street urchins 6. Social media musing 10. Animal protectors (abbrev) 14. Nickname for Elizabeth 15. A habit infused with mysticism 16. Precision machine tool company 17. Classic catcall 18. Semiprecious agate 19. Burn into 20. Has the best flavor 22. Develop chewers 24. The greenest sin 25. Snot compared to boogers 26. Spray or sprinkle with moisture 29. No more than what is specified 30. First Nation Pueblo People 31. Games without winners 37. Representative 39. What makes a triclops 40. Call off 41. Junk drawer 44. A Persian goddess 45. Wooden pegs or pins 46. A place to hide a mess 48. Multiple gradients 52. Fringes waves 53. OG yellow journalist 54. Lacking unnecessary risk 58. Slide in effortlessly 59. Jai ____, a scoop sport

Solutions to last week's puzzles in the back! 61. Known to be sodium-phobic 29. Housekeepers 62. Porters, stouts, pilsners 32. Stop north of Allegheny 63. Directed Metropolis 33. Pertaining to your viscera 64. Supports a work in progress 34. Foot nubs 65. Ohio ball team 35. Sea eagle 66. The length of 36. Immediately 67. Traverse snow 38. Ephemeral shelters up-downs 42. How Rick Sanchez gets 1. Where the sun dies around 2. This mater is where you got 43. Money studies (abbrev) a degree 47. Young gals 3. Bride of Osiris 48. Depilate 4. What people are still doing to 49. Taught us the Power of Flint water Positive Thinking 5. Gathering visual data 50. Reduced strife 6. Dry and uninspired 51. Ingredient in light, teatime 7. This topical -ment eases pain sandwich 8. Unsightly eyelid bump 52. Pretend 9. Quality of feel 54. Slang for a really cool, 10. This Charlie did a drug attractive person or two 55. All your ____ are belong 11. This Smith frequented Hotel to us Chelsea 56. Intentionally fudged 12. A hidden wealth veracity 13. Inside mashers 57. LL 21. The nights before 60. Only exists when you’re 23. Rids the lower self of sitting digestive mucus 25. Add it to -ious to get dogmatic 26. Once ruled Iran Let’s Get 27. Bouncing means of the Hell conveyance Out of Here! 28. Mimicked without understanding

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019

THUR SEPTEMBER 5

MUSIC

Crooked Colours

Electro hits that hit straight to the heart. This Australian group first made waves with their debut album “Vera.” They’ve been going strong ever since and keep releasing bangers. | 9 pm. $15. Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave.

THE SCENE A WEEK'S WORTH OF ADVENTURES A C R O S S P H I L LY N E I G H B O R H O O D S

thedellmusiccenter.com SHOW

In Transit

This circus is a performance of the experiences we face while riding public transportation. Except, of course, we don’t fly trapeze over the bus stop. Come to this to witness intimate moments and gravitydefying stunts that will leave you wondering, “how the fuck did they do that?” | 8 pm. $20. Christ Church Neighborhood House, 20 N. American St. tangle-arts.com

All City Beer Run

Join the city and many of its running clubs for a run to the Yards brewery. Mingle over your common love for fitness and alcohol. Be sure to not drink the beer before you run, though - that’s not how it works. | 6:30 pm. Free. Locations vary.

MUSIC

Terminally Chill

MUSIC

In the future, we’ll all be on islands because climate change will have melted the ice caps and most land will be mostly underwater. Too deep? Eh, just come out and jam to some electropop that’ll make you forget you have any troubles. | 7 pm. $20-$55. Dell Music Center, 2400 Strawberry Mansion Dr.

FITNESS

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Future Islands

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Philadelphia Honey Festival

We’re gonna ride this vaporwave into oblivion, and you should too. Come jam to some of the best lo-fi/chillwave music you can imagine. It’s like the lo-fi hip-hop radio on YouTube come to life. | 10 pm. $3. The Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave. eventbrite.com LGBTQ

This event makes September just as sweet as the summer. Remember technically summer’s not over, even if it definitely feels that way. Labor Day weekend, we tell you, it’s a curse as much as it is a blessing, man. Anyway, indulge in this three-day festival all about enjoying nature and appreciating the bees. You’ll be able to witness a live honey extraction and purchase honey from local hives. Think about it: You’d technically be

supporting the hustle of Philly-area honey bees. To commemorate its 10th year, the festival will host a bee tattoo contest. If you’re a hardcore fan who has some ink with a bee on your body, you have to get your slot in the competition. We know you may be a busy bee, but consider checking this one out. It just might make your day a little sweeter. OK, that was mad corny, but you’re picking up what we’re droppin.

WHAT: Philadelphia Honey Festival WHEN: Sep. 6-8 COST: Free WHERE: Locations vary MORE: phillyhoneyfest.com SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

Paula’s Drag Kitchen

Take a seat and let Paula serve it to you. What’s on the menu, you ask? Some fierce flips, tricks shenanigans that only the most fabulous drag queens in Philly could pull off. | 7:30 pm. $8. L’Etage, 624 S. 6th St.

New Liberty Distillery, 1431 N. Cadwallader St. eventbrite.com ART

Seeing the work of local artists always makes us proud of the city we live in. Show your support for this charitable display of talent. All proceeds from the raffle tickets bought here will go to “For You Haiti.” | 6 pm. Prices vary. Tattooed Mom, 530 eventbrite. South St. tattooedmomphilly.com

FRI

SETPEMBER 6

Hatchie

This solo artist explores new depths of feeling and sensation through her dreamy sounds. Come out to this show to feel something new with her latest album “Keepsake” that just came out in June. This show is part of World Cafe Live’s “Spotlight Artist Series,” which sheds some light on emerging artists in the area. | 9 pm. Free. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. worldcafelive.com MUSIC

Comedy and Cocktails

The North American Comedy Distillery Tour is making a stop and dropping off some funny ass comedians in our city. Get treated to a free cocktail during the show. It’ll either the alcohol or all the laughs that will make you piss your pants by the end of the night. | 7:30 pm. $25.

We clearly re sleeping in o after a tough grade. We’d Spongebob at 11 am - an they were st episodes. Th bring us bac carefree wor experienced Philly Art Co 3rd St.

Unshakable Art Show

eventbrite.com COMEDY

Saturd Mornin Cartoo

Alternafest

This two-day music festival is a celebration of punk, rock, metal and goth genres. Killer bands and drink deals abound. It’s a great chance to be exposed to all the great Philly talent that’s lurking in the shadows. | 6 pm. $10. The Tusk, 430 South St. facebook.com ART

ART

Artist Artisan Marke

Peruse a wid MUSIC items crafte and artisans on the river.

CALENDAR

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Saturday Morning Cartoons

We clearly remember sleeping in on the weekend after a tough week of fourth grade. We’d wake up to Spongebob on our screens at 11 am - and that’s when they were still making good episodes. This exhibit will bring us back into that carefree world we once experienced. | 6 pm. Free. Philly Art Collective, 253 N. 3rd St. eventbrite.com

on the river. Burn off some calories from all the walking and grab some grub from Philly food vendors. | 5 pm. Free. Cherry Street Pier, 121 N. Columbus Blvd. facebook.com LGBTQ

Free Fringe Philly Cabaret

Pilar Salt and Icon Ebony Fierce - two of the most sickening queens doing the damn thing in Philly - will be tag-teaming this show. We don’t think you’re ready for what could go down. | 8 pm. Free. 448 N. 10th St. eventbrite.com

ART

Artist and Artisans Night Market

Peruse a wide solution of items crafted by local artists and artisans at this market

FOOD & DRINK

First Friday with Okie Dokie Donuts

will be offered up at this collaborative pop-up. Come to this event to earn the keys to our hearts. Seriously, though - could you think of a better combination? | Friday, 6 pm. Free. Art in the Age, 116 N. 3rd St. artintheage.com SHOW

In America, That is to Say No Where

This theatrical performance is about a “gluttonous, childlike political figure” and the havoc he wreaks as he gains power over the country. Hmm, this all sounds a little too familiar. | 7:30 pm. $15. Performance Garage, 1515 Brandywine St. fringearts.com

MUSIC

Real Friends

Only true homies will go with you to this show. These pop-punk powerhouses have been showing us a good time since they burst onto the scene in 2013. Catch up with their newest album “Composure,” which came out this May. | Friday, 7:30 pm. $22.50. The Foundry, 29 E. Allen St. thefillmorephilly.com

Boozy donuts galore

FOOD & DRINK

First Friday with Okie Dokie Donuts

Boozy donuts galore will be offered up at this collaborative pop-up. Come to this event to earn the keys to our hearts. Seriously, though - could you think of a better combination? | Friday, 6 pm. Free. Art in the Age, 116 N. 3rd St. artintheage.com

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019

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SAT SEPTEMBER 7

PARTY

Goose Island Beer Co. 215 Block Party

KID FRIENDLY

Rise of the TMNT Sewer Studio Tour

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are crawling out of their manhole and they’ve been doing just fine. Your kids could meet their favorite Turtle here, and even get to star in a video with them. | SWaturday, 11 am. Free. Sister Cities Park, 18th and Benjamin Franklin Pkwy. facebook.com

special 20th anniversary tour, and they’ll be playing some songs you’ve never heard from them live. Stay for the afterparty with the band. Does it get any cooler than that? | 8 pm. $27. Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill St.

An outdoor celebration hosted by a good ass beer company. Run the Jewels and Chevy Metal will be performing for the crowd intoxicated by beer and delicious food. Let’s start saying our proper goodbyes to summer. | 5 pm. $20. Franklin Music Hall, 421 N. 7th St.

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West Philly has brought us more than Will Smith. It’s home to hundreds of awesome musicians, who will be honored with this performance. Gather outdoors to celebrate these musical influencers. | 5 pm. Free. Malcolm X Park, 5100 Pine St.

MUSIC

Iris

If you’re a fan of these guys, you definitely won’t want to miss this show. It’s a

MUSIC

The Philly POPS: A Musical Celebration of West Philadelphia

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Philly Fun Fishing Fest

SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

ART

Green Street Poetry: ILYSM

Bring your boo to this romantic candlelight night of music and poetry. Love may suck at times, but this is for the ones who believe it’s the best damn thing that’s happened to them. Revel in how it feels to be in love. | 8 pm. $15. The Thirsty Soul, 1551 W. Passyunk Ave.

FESTIVAL

CollegeFest 2019

Most Philly college students have probably been suffering through their first so far. Get some relief here with some music, games and tons of giveaways. We know you guys love free shit, because who doesn’t? | 10 am. Free. Dilworth Park, 1 S. 15th St. eventbrite.com

eventbrite.com INTERESTS OUTDOORS

Philly Fun Fishing Fest

Market of the Macabre

Take the kids out for an easy fishing day on the Schuylkill. All ages and experience levels are welcome to cast their lines. You can’t get your dinner here, though - all fishing is catch-and-release, and as the name suggests, just for fun. | 7 am. Free. Schuylkill Banks, 2500 Walnut St.

Stock up on all things spooky at this oddities market. it’s only appropriate that Victorian and Steampunk styles of dress be encouraged for this event. Throw it back to the days when people didn’t have pools and music festivals to cool off during the summer. | 12 pm. $5. Laurel Hill Cemetery, 3822 Ridge Ave.

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SUN SEPTEMBER 8

FOOD & DRINK

Meyhem Lauren’s Vegetarian Bbq Enjoy some delicious food at this cookout. First 200 people to get there get a free Beyond Burger or sausage. It pays to be hungry. | 2 pm. $20. Voltage Lounge, 421 N. 7th St. eventbrite.com FESTIVAL

Brazillian Day There’s always a reason to celebrate a vibrant culture in our community. Head outside for a party full of music, dancing, food and more all unique to Brazil. | 1 pm. Free. Great Plaza at Penn’s Landing, 101 N. Columbus Blvd.

ART

HERspace Arts Day Party

This art show is featuring all female artists and creators in one space. Over 150 pieces will be on display for all to admire. Celebrate the talent that all these creative women harness. | 3 pm. Prices vary. Philly Art Collective, 253 N. 3rd St. eventbrite.com FESTIVAL

Greenfest Philly

We all deserve to breathe clean air in this city. Come celebrate the environment and have fun while learning how to live sustainably. Everyone should care about keeping this world clean. | 10 am. Free. Bainbridge St. between 3rd and 5th St. cleanair.org

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MUSIC

Counterfeit

This band is the real deal. Their DIY power-pop is delivered straight to your face without holding back. Hopefully this means some new music is on the horizon from them. | 7 pm. $16. PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St. facebook.com FOOD & DRINK

Philly Vegan Pop Flea- Back to School Market

Bring your friends to this market the next time they ask what vegans eat. Plenty of things, actually - a huge variety of vendors will be serving their best vegan dishes. Try anything from | 1 pm. Free. Tattooed Mom, 530 South St. facebook.com

COMEDY

Neil Hamburger

Hamburger is a comedian that really knows his way around show business. He starred in the 2015 movie “Entertainment” with Michael Cera and John C. Reilly. Come see “America’s Funnyman” get to work. | 7 pm. $20. Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave. eventbrite.com

PARTY

The Lit A** Paint Party

Turn up and throw some paint down on the canvas. This party promises to bring a “dope experience” to all who attend. Just lean back and create something that reflects your state of mind. | 3 pm. $15-$30. KANVAS, 3870 Lancaster Ave. eventbrite.com

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019

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MON SEPTEMBER 9

ART

Poems Night

Got some spoken words you need to get off your chest? Come out to this monthly showcase for Philly poets. You’ll be shocked by the talent around you, and by your own courage to share work that means something to you. | 7 pm. Free. Hot Bed, 723 Chestnut St. facebook.com DISCUSSION MUSIC

La Chamba

A little Latino influence from the left coast. “Chamba” means “work,” which this band did lots of to make a name for themselves. They started in a garage, and now they’re big enough to stretch their music all the way over here. | Monday, 8 pm. $12. PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St. eventbrite.com

MUSIC

Mega Bog

Songwriter Erin Elizabeth Birgy is the musician behind the moniker. Her music is hazy, hypnotic and cerebral pop that’ll get you feeling something. Her latest album, “Dolphine,” explores several complicated human emotions we could probably all relate to. | Monday, 8 pm. $12. Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave. eventbrite.com

Throwing Stigma Under the Bus

Those who live with mental illness and addiction are stigmatized far too often. Join in on this community event featuring live music from cast members of the productions Gay Mis and Songbird. You’ll also catch some excerpts of “Siren Songs,” which is premiering during the Fringe Festival. | 6:30 pm. Free. William Way LGBT Community Center, 1315 Spruce St. facebook.com MUSIC

Ceremony

Ceremony has been through some changes during their ten-year tenure as a group. They shifted from hardcore to something a little more punk and gothic, and they left their long-time record label for another. Come out to their show and give them a reason to celebrate. | 8 pm. $15. Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St. utphilly.com

TRIVIA

Marvel Cinematic Universe Trivia

You’ve read the comics. You’ve sat through the threehour long movies. You know what kind of drink Tony Stark would order from Starbucks based on his personality. So, why not use that knowledge to win something? | 7 pm. Free. The Bourse, 111 S. Independence Mall E. eventbrite.com FOOD & DRINK

Summer’s Not Over Happy Hour

This day of drinking and talking is hosted by the Women’s Film Festival of Philly. Come to this if you’re interested in anything about the upcoming festival - which occurred in March this year - or if you just want to mingle with some female film folks. | 5:30 pm. Free. Writer’s Block Rehab, 1342 Cypress St. facebook.com MUSIC

Vinyl Monday

Show off your impeccable music taste to everyone. Bring your own vinyl to be spun and listen to what others have been interested in. We know you need the validation that the music you listen to is actually good. | 8 pm. Free. Lucky’s Last Chance, 848 S. 2nd St. facebook.com

TUES SEPTEMBER 10

MUSIC

UB40

“Red Red Wine,” one of the most classic reggae songs ever. However, they’ve been in the business for over 40 years and have so much to show for it. Come witness why they’ve been so successful for so long. They just played a show last month at TLA, but we’re so grateful to have them coming back again on this tour. | 8 pm. $49.50. Franklin Music Hall, 421 N. 7th St. bowerypresents.com MOVIES

Ken Burns’ “Country Music” Screening

Burns’ eight-part documentary follows the history of an art that is essential to the American identity. Catch this special screening that also includes a discussion with Dan Reed, host of WXPN’s “Americana Music Hour.” | 7 pm. $30. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. worldcafelive.com MUSIC

Heavy Metal Karaoke

Your parents always said this kind of music had no lyrics - just jumbled sound. Prove them wrong by showing you know every word to every damn Slayer song. All those hours spent in your room alone blasting these tunes have finally paid off. | 10 pm. Free. Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St. eventbrite.com

SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY PARTY

Rufftop Pawty

Dogs are really the only beings we ever want to hang out with. Take in some stunning city views with adoptable pups from Morris Animal Refuge by your side. There will even be a puppy yoga session to encourage you to unwind and take one (or two, or three or ten) home with you. | 4 pm. Free-$25. Cira Green, 80 S. 30th St. eventbrite.com SOCIAL

Philadelphia Hardware Meetup

If you have a startup you want to get off the ground, this is the event for you. HAX invests in upcoming startups and is here to see what Philly tech peeps have been building. You deserve to be recognized and rewarded, and also to meet like-minded people. | 6 pm. Free. NextFab, 2025 Washington Ave. eventbrite.com

SHOW

Criminal Podcast: Live Show

The stories of gruesome crimes told in a voice that will soothe you to sleep. Not that any of it is boring - these tales are told in stunning detail - it’s just that host Phoebe Judge has a damn great radio voice. Come meet her live and sit down for some interesting stories. | 8 pm. $30. Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St. utphilly.com MUSIC

Lady Parts

Three ladies that are ready to show you some secret parts of themselves through their music. These Philly rockers are always playing shows around the city, and this time, they may have some new music to show us - they haven’t released any since 2015, but hey, let’s hold onto that hope. | 8:30 pm. $8. Bourbon and Branch, 705 N. 2nd St. eventbrite.com

DISCUSSION

Inquiring Minds: Let’s Talk About Philly Football

The Eagles’ home opener is going down Sunday against the Redskins. Get ahead of the game at this conversation with the Inquirer’s Eagles coverage team. Talk week one analysis, expert predictions for the season and anything else you’re dying to find out about the Birds. | 6 pm. $5. The Philadelphia Inquirer, 800 Market St. pmnevents.philly.com

WED SEPTEMBER 11

DISCUSSION

A Conversation with Dr. Condoleeza Rice History tends to repeat itself. That’s the case with the U.S.’ growing tensions with China and Russia, which some say may lead to a “new Cold War.” Rice wrote a book on how the Cold War came to an end, and she’s coming here to discuss it. Maybe we can learn a thing

or two about controlling our current political climate. | 5:45 pm. Free. Saint Joseph’s University, 5600 City Ave. wacphila.org SHOW

Not Another D&D Podcast

Sit in on the discussion with this group of friends that obviously talk about the famous role-playing game. Bring your usual D&D gang to catch this. We gotta say that this is one of the most committed fanbases we’ve ever known. | 7 pm. Prices vary. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. punchlinephilly.com COMEDY

Joe Mande

This guy has really made a name for himself as the “King of Content.” His talent can be seen in his own Netflix special and in shows like Brooklyn Nine-Nine and The Good Place. Witness this multi-hyphenate bring all his talent to the stage instead of to your screen. | 9 pm. $16. Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill St. undergroundarts.org FOOD & DRINK

Dinner with Psychic Medium Lisa

Don’t you want to eat some good ass food and find out what your future looks like? Come to this buffet combined with a group psychic reading. You may leave a changed person. | 6 pm. $75. Lorenzo’s Cafe, 4741 Princeton Ave. facebook.com

MUSIC

Come Together: Philly Celebrates 50 Years of Abbey Road

Philly’s own unique way of paying tribute to one of The Beatles’ albums that will never get old. Local bands will be performing the album here in its entirety. Get there early for the opening set to hear some bonus Beatles tracks. |Thursday, 8 pm. $15. Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill St. undergroundarts.org

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019

32 X

CALENDAR

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Cultural Accessibility Conference

Everyone deserves to enjoy all the arts in Philly, regardless of any disabilities. Sit in on presentations about ways we could make all these exciting places and exhibits accessible to all. | 8 am. $60. Friends Center, 1501 Cherry St. eventbrite.com MUSIC

Kacey Musgraves

This country-pop princess has made waves recently with her dreamy, lighterthan-air vibes. She’s back on the road for round two of her “Oh, What a World” tour, which is named after her Grammy-winning third album. | 8 pm. $45-$90. The Met Philly, 858 N. Broad St. themetphilly.com MUSIC

PUP

This music can be for both angsty teens and 30-year olds with full-time jobs. Get all your energy out with some high-strung, fast alt-punk. They’re currently on tour to promote their newest album “Morbid Stuff.” | 8 pm. $22. Franklin Music Hall, 421 N. 7th St. facebook.com FESTIVAL

SJC Community Carnival

Star Party

SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

Bridesburg comes out to play every year for this church’s annual outdoor carnival. Enjoy rides, food, games, drinks and more under the dwindling summer

sun. This is going on for five days, so you don’t really have an excuse to miss any of it if you live in the neighborhood. | 6 pm. Free. St. John Cantius Parish, 4415 Almond St. facebook.com

THUR SEPTEMBER 12

COMEDY

Lecture Hall: An Evening of Educational Comedy

Witness history as this late-night-talk type show premieres its pilot episode. It’s lectures, music, stand-up and game shows all wrapped into one by host Chip Chantry. | 7:30 pm. $10. Bok, 1901 S. 9th St. eventbrite.com FESTIVAL

45th Irish Festival

Festivals like these work to keep some culture going throughout our great city. Come out to any of the festival’s three days to eat, drink, dance and do as the Irish do. | 8 pm. Free. Philadelphia Ceili Group, 6815 Emlen St. philadelphiaceiligroup.org FOOD & DRINK

BeerBQ

Let’s all cook and drink outside while we still can. Come to this cookout with delicious BBQ, fresh shucked oysters and cold beers, all complete with a live performance by Call Me Felix. | 5 pm. Free. Urban Farmer, 1850 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy.

facebook.com MUSIC

Borgore

Some exhilarating dubstep being played in an upscale club setting. Borgore is one of the most active names in the game - he’s constantly coming out with songs, having released five singles in this year alone. This show will do anything but bore you. | 10 pm. $20. NOTO, 1209 Vine St. wl.seetickets.us INTERESTS

Baltimore Ave. Dollar Stroll

Neighborhood businesses are offering their finest wares for just $1. That means you can snag some drinks, food, clothes, art and whatever else you want for just one George Washington. You won’t find better deals anywhere else. | 5:30 pm. Free. Locations vary. facebook.com OUTDOORS

Star Party

Lay your blanket down and look up at the stars. We may not be able to see much in the city, but at this event, you’ll learn about all the constellations that are above us. You’ll also get to see a live performance by BalletX and participate in art activities by Mural Arts Philadelphia. | 6 pm. Free. The Rail Park, 1300 Noble St. facebook.com

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

MUSIC

Game of Thrones Live

Philly is now Westeros, and you are now battling for your spot on the iron throne. Immerse yourself in the showâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dramatic world with a live orchestra performing the legendary score. | Thursday, 8 pm. $25-$125. The Mann Center, 5201 Parkside Ave. manncenter.org

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019

THE

BIG

PICTURE

Pot vs. Kettle This week's Big Pic was a reader submission to our newsroom that we just had to share because it's not every day one gets treated to a piece of irony as awesome as this image taken along Main Street Manayunk. If only someone had a boot in their backseat. Have an image you'd like to see as an upcoming Big Pic? Send it our way via mail@philadelphiaweekly.com or tag us on social media using #PWBigPic.

SAVAGE LOVE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

Physical ideal

Q: I don’t listen to your podcast religiously, to tell people they can find a person’s insides so attractive that they warm to their outside but as soon as I told my best friend this story, she said, “That’s a question for Dan Savage!” — and it’s mostly men people we tell these Backstory: I have a monogamous partner who things, as women people seem less hung up on/entitled to their physical ideals — then we I live with. It’s a heterosexual relationship, but also need to tell people not to freak we are both bisexual. That little inthe fuck out when they stumble kling of homosexuality really drew over evidence that they aren’t their me to him when we first met. He partner’s ideal physical type. Addialso told me early on about his pretionally, we need to tell people that vious girlfriend, who looked like a just because their partner has a par“suicide girl” (tattoos, short skirts, ticular type, that doesn’t mean their dyed black hair, heavy eye makeup) partner isn’t attracted to them. but had serious issues (they had sex You don’t have a great sex life only 10 times in three years). I’m by with your boyfriend, YVOIG, as you no means a suicide girl. I’m pretty seem to have mismatched libidos— average looking with natural hair and one partner “always” being and no tattoos. I don’t wear maketired isn’t a problem that gets betup, and I have an affinity for baggy ter over time. These are both signs T-shirts and jeans. that you probably need to end this I love having sex but rarely do I relationship. (Already looking outpresent myself as “sexy.” Recently @FAKEDANSAVAGE side your monogamous relationship I learned that my boyfriend follows for sexual interactions? Another hundreds of women on Instagram, and 95 percent of them look absolutely noth- sign). But you can end things without having a meltdown about the fact that your soon-to-being like me. (Remember the hot suicide-girl girlfriend? They mostly look like her.) It made ex-boyfriend was also or usually or, hell, even exclusively with one notable exception (YOU!) me really upset. I felt insecure about myself. I attracted to “suicide girl” types. Instead of felt distrustful of his positive comments about how I look, like he doesn’t actually think I’m telling yourself that every compliment your soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend ever gave you was sexy. It certainly doesn’t help that I want to have sex way more often than he does. He’s al- a lie, you could tell yourself that while your ways “tired.” I was angry at him and instant- soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend definitely has a type, ly craving to go back to a sexual relationship he also found you attractive. Because you are with past partners who thought I was the attractive. You’re so attractive that you caught his eye despite not being his usual type. In othbee’s knees. He has no idea why I would be upset. He er words, YVOIG, you don’t have to feed your says he feels like he’s supporting these wom- self-esteem into a shredder as you end this relationship. en and that they feel “empowered” by all the P.S. Your soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend may have men leaving comments like “Show me your deleted his old Instagram account, but I promboobs” and “I wanna shove my cock in you.” ise you he quickly created another one. And He says he deleted his Instagram just to make me happy, but I still feel shitty about the whole here’s hoping your soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend thing. Am I being oversensitive? Is he being in- only directs “empowering” comments like “I sensitive? Could we be sexually incompatible? wanna shove my cock in you” at the kind of people on Instagram who regard those types At this point, I’m ready to look outside of our of comments as “supportive.” They’re out relationship for sexual interactions. there — men and women — but there are few– Your Very Ordinary Instagram Girl er of them out there than too many men, gay and straight, seem to believe there are. If we’re going to tell people they shouldn’t be so shallow as to date only THERE’S ALWAYS MORE their “ideal” physical types and we’re going to tell people they can learn to find a broad- OF SAVAGE TO LOVE! er array of people attractive and we’re going Read: PhillyWeekly.com

DAN SAVAGE

Have a question?: mail@savagelove.net

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Immediate Positons Available / Paid Training / Benefit package Match of salary with experience! Flexible Shifts Available • Safety Bonus Incentives • Great Company Culture Apply in Person Monday through Friday • 9:00am to 3:00pm 4201 Tacony Street, Philadelphia, PA 19124 | 215-992-8000 Apply online:www.philly.totalbusco.com General Employment

AB MALE BLOOD DONORS NEEDED Will be compensated up to $85.00 for a complete donation, starting on their 2nd visit!! In order to donate you need: Valid picture ID. SSI card Be between 18 & 70 yrs. old. Be in good health. Walk-ins are welcome. New donors will be paid $40.00 for a full donation. INTERSTATE BLOOD BANK 1250 N. BROAD STREET. PHILA PA. 19121 215-765-2554

BLOOD DONORS All donors paid $40.00 No appointment necessary. Walk-ins welcome. Must be healthy and have proper I.D. Must provide Social Security card.Interstate Blood Bank 1250-52 N Broad St. Phila PA 19121 215-765-2554 Hrs. 7:00 AM - 3:30 PM

GENERAL AND TREATMENT FOSTER PARENTS NEEDED Open your heart and home to children of all ages New Foundations, Inc. 215-203-8733 www.nfi4kids.org PAID RESEARCH SUBJECT SPACE MISSION SIMULATION 8 day study of resilience at U. of PA. Must be healthy, about 27-55 yr. old with STEM educ. MS or BS+ equiv. exp or military exp. Compensated time & travel. Call 215-573-5855

Reale's Sports Bar & Grille NOW HIRING WAITRESSES, COOKS & DOORMEN APPLY IN PERSON 7233 Frankford Ave Phila Pa 19135 FLAGGERS ($12.50/hr) Traffic Plan seeks Flaggers to set up and direct traffic around construction sites. A valid PA driver license and clean driving record a must, good pay and benefits. If interested please fill out an application at 510 Hertzog Blvd, King of Prussia, PA on Mondayʼs 9am - 12pm or online at trafficplan.com.

WAITRESS / WAITER Apply in person: The Dining Car, 8826 Frankford Ave. NOTICES Legal Notices

NOTICE OF PUBLIC SALE: The following self-storage Cube contents containing household and other goods will be sold for cash by CubeSmart, 456 N. Christopher Columbus Blvd., Philadelphia PA 19123 (215)922-3715 to satisfy a lien on September 24, 2019 at approx. 11 AM: www.storagetreasures.com: B101 Gregory Walker B237 Michael Spencer C311 Ryan Thompson D418 Jonathan Ross E484 Elysha Perry F580 Leroy West F589 Omar Asid

SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

HAPPY WINDOWS

Shutters, 2-Inch Wood, Pleated Shades, Roman Shades, Drapes, Verticals, Mini-Blinds Discount Price With Installation

Call Eileen

215-465-7525

8500 BUSTLETON AVE. Corner of Evart St. Fall Special 1BR, $875, 2BR, $1,100 water & gas incld. 215-742-2261 Grant Garden Apartments Fall Special, upgraded 1 & 2 BR,1 BA. $750 - $980 includes water. Laundry room on site. Off of Blvd. 215-464-6411 For Sale By Owner

Sell with PW Classifieds classifieds@philadelphiaweekly.com

FOR SALE BY OWNER Renovated Townhouse 2bd/1ba Alder & Mifflin Reduced Price: $222K Call: (215)990-3405

Flea Market

LARGEST OUTDOOR FLEA MARKET IN THE CITY! THE FAIRMOUNT FLEA MARKET

NOTICE is hereby given that on 02/23/2019 Articles of Incorporation were filed with the Department of State for Peach Tree Counseling, Inc. a corporation organized under the provisions of the Pennsylvania Business Corporation Law of 1988, effective October 1, 1989, for the purpose of engaging in all lawful business for which corporations may be incorporated under said Act.

STILL STANDING

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More Than 150 Vendors Surround The Historic Eastern State Penitentiary Featuring Antiques, Collectibles, Vintage Jewelry & Fashion, Home Furnishings, Primitives, Artwork and So Much More! 8am til 5pm But Early Birds Are Welcome! Parking Available In The Adjacent Lot 2201 Fairmount Ave

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break up?

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128 CARPENTER ST iN ThE ShAdow of A quEEN villAgE hiSToRiCAl lANdMARK oPEN ThiS wEEKENd $679,900 A Beautifully maintained 2100 Square Foot, Three Story, Three Bedroom + Two Full Bath Home on a Pretty Tree Lined Queen Village Block. It sits in the shadow of a Historic Queen Village Jewel - SHOT TOWER RECREATION CENTER with its Beautiful Antique Wrought Iron Fencing and Wonderful Open Field adds much light and air to the block. Enter this Lovely Home into a Marble Foyer – which also has Two Bedrooms and a Full Bath on this Level along with Good Closet Space, Laundry Room (new washer & dryer), Mechanicals + French Doors opening onto a Lovely Brick Garden. The Second Level has a Loft-Like Open and Airy Floor Plan. A WellEquipped Eat in Kitchen with Tons of Southern Light overlooking the neighboring Country-like Outdoor Space. A Dining Area with a Pantry Closet and Terrific Custom-built Under-step Storage Cabinets. The Living Room is Open & Spacious with a Large Window overlooking Tree-lined Carpenter St. The entire Third Floor is the Master Suite featuring a Beautiful Bath with Frame-less Glass Shower, a Soaking Tub, Double Sinks and Vanity and a Custom Fitted Walk in Closet and Built-ins + access to additional Attic Storage. There is Monthly parking available in the Queen Village Lot just a ½ Block Away. QUEEN VILLAGE IS SIMPLY THE BEST PLACE TO LIVE AND CLOSE TO EVERYTHING.

90% OF OUR BUSINESS COMES FROM FRIENDS TELLING FRIENDS.

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Conway Team Patrick Conway 215-266-1537

What they are saying:

Kathy Conway 215-850-3842 Society Hill Office • 215.627.6005 Please visit us online at www.conwayteam.com

“This was my first experience selling a house. It was an emotional time as it was the house that we were raised in. Pat and his team were so compassionate and understanding. This made the process so much easier. They couldn’t do enough. I would highly recommend them.” Susan Bielic Anne E. Koons The #1 Agent of the Cherry Hill Home Marketing Center 2018, 2017, 2016, 2014, 2013 & 2012 NJAR Circle of Excellence PLATINUM Award 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2012,GOLD 2014, 2013 Direct 856-795-4709 office 856-428-8000 ext. 142 Website: www.annekoonsrealestate.com Akoonsbhhs@gmail.com

MAIN LINE SUBURBS

CENTER CITY PHILA.

ACCREDITED LUXURY HOME SPECIALIST Licensed in NJ & PA

WILLIAM PENN HOUSE 1919 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia Rittenhouse sq • Rooftop Pool Fitness Center • Valet parking • 24 hr security • 24 hr Maintenance • All utilities included • Includes real estate tax no transfer tax

2369 PINEVIEW DRIVE, MALVERN

1615 GREEN ST #1, PHILADELPHIA

5 BED | 3 BATH | 2,666 SQ FT | $849,000

2 BED | 2 BATH | 1,125 SQ FT | $499,000

MAIN LINE SUBURBS NEW LISTINGS 354 Winding Way, Merion Station 4 BED I 2 BATH I 2,736 SQ FT $489,000

JUST REDUCED 207 Lindy Ln, Bala Cynwyd 4 BED | 4.1 BATH | 4,217 SQ FT | $570,000

106 Airdale Road, Bryn Mawr

CONDO LIVING

8 Bed | 4.1 Bath | 6,200 Sq Ft | $924,000

190 PRESIDENTIAL BLVD, #415, BALA CYNWYD

1417 Centennial Rd, Penn Valley 5 Bed | 3.1 Bath | 4,371 Sq Ft | $865,000

LISTINGS 4 Bed | 4.3 Bath | 6,465 Sq Ft | $2,895,000

717 Conshohocken State Road, Penn Valley 6 Bed | 6.1 Bath | 6,508 Sq Ft | $1,849,000

533 N. Spring Mill Road, Villanova 5 Bed | 4.1 Bath | 4,716 Sq Ft | $1,325,000

1351 Bobarn Drive, Penn Valley 5 Bed | 4.1 Bath | 6,647 Sq Ft | $1,125,000

730 Canterbury Lane, Villanova 5 Bed | 4.1 Bath | 5,358 Sq Ft | $1,050,000

191 PRESIDENTIAL BLVD, #824-25, BALA CYNWYD 2 BED | 2 BATH | 2,100 SQ FT | $325,000

THE KENNEDY HOUSE

239 Trianon Ln, Villanova

1750 OAKWOOD TER, UNIT#1A, PENN VALLEY

1901 JFK Blvd, Philadelphia

4 Bed | 3.1 Bath | 3,443 Sq Ft | $839,000

2 BED | 2 BATH | 1,299 SQ FT | $227,000

Rittenhouse Sq • Rooftop Pool

1205 Chermar Ln, Penn Valley 5 Bed | 4.1 Bath | 3,356 Sq Ft | $799,000

1309 Summer Hill Lane, Gladwyne

2 BED | 2.1 BATH | 1,970 SQ FT | $625,000

19 ROCK HILL RD, #2E, BALA CYNWYD 2 BED | 2 BATH | 1,216 SQ FT | $175,000

1030 E LANCASTER AVE, #304, BRYN MAWR

200 Price Ave, Unit#4, Narbeth

1 BED | 1 BATH | 700 SQ FT | $128,000

3 Bed | 3.1 Bath | 3,038 Sq Ft | $799,000

2000 VALLEY FORGE CIR, UNIT#36, KING OF PRUSSIA STORAGE UNIT | $9,500

200 S Narberth Ave, Narberth Multi-Family | $749,000

CENTER CITY

1607 Winston Road, Gladwyne

NEW LISTING

4 Bed | 2.1 Bath | 2,320 Sq Ft | $575,000

880 N TAYLOR STREET, PHILADELPHIA 2 BED I 1 BATH I 840 SQ FT $362,000

625 Fordham Rd, Bala Cynwyd 3 Bed | 2.1 Bath | 2,495 Sq Ft | $535,000

442 Ashton Drive, King of Prussia 4 Bed | 2.1 Bath | 3,318 Sq Ft | $499,000

LISTINGS 1814 LUDLOW STREET, PHILADELPHIA

• Fitness Center • Parking • 24 HR Security • 24 HR Maintenance • All Utilities Included • Includes Real Estate Tax

INVESTMENT | | 1,650 SQ FT | $1,395,000

5860 WOODBINE AVE, PHILADELPHIA 6 BED | 4.1 BATH | 3,725 SQ FT | $679,000

34 Sandringham Rd, Bala Cynwyd

207 Wyndham Ln, Conshohocken

5 Bed | 5.3 Bath | 5,217 Sq FT | $995,000

3 Bed | 2.1 Bath | 2,604 Sq Ft | $434,900

421 Old Gulph Road, Penn Valley

1305 Summer Hill Lane, Gladwyne

224-30 W RITTENHOUSE SQ, #1017, PHILADELPHIA

4 Bed | 2.2 Bath | 3,197 Sq Ft | $949,000

Lot | | 0.5 Acres | $150,000

1 BED | 1 BATH | 570 SQ FT | $275,000

809 LATONA STREET, PHILADELPHIA 3 BED | 1 BATH | 1,288 SQ FT | $299,000

KINGSLEY COURT ROXBOROUGH NEW CONSTRUCTION TWIN HOMES

Marlton/ Preserve at Little Mill Gorgeous custom 3-bedroom, 2.5 bath home backing to Preserve at Little Mill golf course with a 1st floor master suite, 1st floor study, 2 car garage & full unfinished basement. The large foyer has cathedral ceilings & ceramic floors. Living room has 12-foot ceilings, custom built entertainment center & gas fireplace. Large eat-in kitchen with French sliding patio doors to back deck & views of the golf course. $499,900.

Voorhees/ Sturbridge Estates Expanded Danbury model w/ 4bd, 3.5 baths, 3 car garage located on 1/2 acre on wooded splendor. 1st floor office, sunroom, newer roof, newer HVAC, newer Mstr bath, newer appliances & a full unfinished basement .Hardwood floors thru out first floor & newer carpet upstairs. $744,900

PW REAL ESTATE To advertise in this section contact Dan Tangi

215-543-3743 ext. 111 or dtangi@philadelphiaweekly.com

500 Kingsley Court 3 BED | 2 BATH | 2,000 SQ FT | $487,000

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019

REAL ESTATE

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The Philadelphia Region’s leading independent brokerage. EWRhomes.com

Chestnut Hill 215.247.3600 8039 Germantown Avenue Philadelphia, PA 19118

Elfant Wissahickon Realtors @ewrhomes

Rittenhouse Square 215.893.9920 2000 Pine Street Philadelphia, PA 19103

Anne E. Koons

ACCREDITED LUXURY HOME SPECIALIST Licensed in NJ & PA

The #1 Agent of the Cherry Hill Home Marketing Center 2018, 2017, 2016, 2014, 2013 & 2012 NJAR Circle of Excellence PLATINUM Award 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2012,GOLD 2014, 2013

Direct 856-795-4709 office 856-428-8000 ext. 142

New Listing Cherry Hill/ Woodcrest This amazing architecturally designed home has 6 Bedrooms, 4 full baths, 2 half baths, walk-out finished basement & a 3-car garage that is nestled on an acre of property that backs to Woodcrest Golf course. Over 5,700sq ft w/an open spacious floor plan that is on secluded lot located in a great neighborhood with top rated schools and conveniently located near all major highways. $695,000 .

Merchantville Beautiful 3 Story Grand Victorian has 8 Bedrooms, 3.5 f baths located in the heart of town. The first floor has 12 ft ceilings, formal living room w/fireplace, parlor, dining rm, family rm & kitchen, crown molding, hardwood floors, gorgeous wood staircase and banisters with a cover front porch .This home has an updated heating system, full unfinished basement, a 2 car detached garage on almost an acre of property. Property is being sold in as is condition. $299,900.

Cherry Hill Contemporary 4 bedroom, 2.2 bath home with 2 car garage and in-ground pool. 2 story foyer w/ rounded staircase, living room with fireplace, full bar, large eat in Kitchen. Master bedroom suite has a luxurious bath and plenty of closet space. Full finished basement. Great outside for entertaining. Freshly painted throughout $540,000

Cherry Hill/ Wilderness Run Beautifully updated 4 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, 3 car garage home that flows seamlessly from one room to the next, it's elegant, bright and spacious. Designer kitchen, with professional appliances. The master bedroom suite has a wonder-fully updated bath w/a free standing tub, glass enclosed shower w/decorative tiles, floating double vanities with marble tops and make up area, there are 3 walk in closets and patio doors to a private balcony. $649,900.

Cherry Hill/ Short Hills This magnificent Coventry Model has an open floor plan, 4 bedrooms, 4.5 Baths, 3 car garage, 1st floor office, double staircases, full finished basement. The custom eat in kitchen has center island with breakfast bar, and extra windows allowing plenty of light. Large custom backyard with paver patio & fire pit. $699,900.

Voorhees/Sturbridge Woods Updated 4-bedroom, 3.5 bath, 2 car garages, finished basement, located on a private cult-de-sac in a desirable neighborhood.. The updated kitchen has center island breakfast bar w/5 burner stove & granite tops. There is a 1st fl office, Dining rm w/ butler’s pantry, Living rm, & cozy family rm w/gas FP. large master BR has a huge WIC, office, 2-sided FP & updated master bath. 3 add’l BR’s & Hall bath on 2nd fl. The BM has a media room, full bath, bonus rm & exercise rm. $619,000.

New Price Moorestown An amazing, truly unique 4 bedroom, 5 ½ bath home with gourmet kitchen, full finished walk out basement, 2 car garage w/home theater on 2nd level, a tennis-basketball court, built-in pool w/slide, hot-tub & waterfalls and a covered outdoor kitchen & bar which is nestled on a resort like professionally landscaped 2 acre property. $1,359,900

NEW LISTING Clarksboro/Village At Whiskey Mill A 3 Bedroom 2.5 Bath, 1 car garage, w/3 levels of living space located in a quiet development. The first floor has a garage, family Rm and access to back yard. The main level you will find a large kitchen and dining area with sliding glass doors to deck. The 3 level has a master BR with private bath, large WIC and 2 additional bedrooms with hall bath and Laundry. $259,900

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO STEVEN, NICOLE & JOSH………...

Now more than ever, EXPERIENCE counts, that is why you need to call our AUNT ANNE, because she has the

EXPERIENCE, COMMITMENT, PASSION & KNOWLEDGE to help you in selling or buying a home.

CALL OUR AUNT ANNE TODAY FOR ALL OF YOUR REAL ESTATE NEEDS 856 -795-4709

SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

REAL ESTATE

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Go Solo. If your little tribe has moved on and the family nest is empty, maybe it’s time you migrated to the city. Solo Real Estate has been helping empty nesters find new homes, and new lifestyles, for decades. So when you’re ready to pull up stakes, let Solo get you moving.

REACH OUT TO US. Carry PW’s at your spot. drops@philadelphiaweekly.com.

PW REAL ESTATE To advertise in this section contact Dan Tangi

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PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | SEPTEMBER 5 - 12, 2019

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