Philadelphia Weekly | January 16 – 23, 2020

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late night

Sex

shop stories

Dive into the world of dildos, lube and horse speculums

We peruse the food of the new Gallery, er, ‘Fashion District.’ | Page 12

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m I’ to ni ce vi an Honestl nicer thin of East Ke The pla a.m.-10 p. especially ones we’v I’m able t fairly quic my night a group o hanging ou I inform closing tim that it reop And the “I’m no fuck out of shouted. “ I told th I’m certai one fight w gate. I rep make you you’d like police whe “You go in the park another bo Here’s where thin it went do that the b I wanted t I’m simply wouldn’t b or human playgroun subsequen no beef w ready to se So I ex bit.

“Guys There’s no to explain park was people pis foul. Now and the go borhood is now. I hav

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FROM THE EDITOR P R I VAT E E V E N T S R E S TA U R A N T & B A R

LIVE MUSIC URBAN WINERY

Teen whisperers

NEW YORK | CHICAGO | NASHVILLE | ATLANTA | BOSTON | DC | PHILADELPHIA | HUDSON VALLEY

1.17

I

might have mentioned this before, but come here almost every day. I do this for them.

I’m in a friends group that volunteers It’s 10:15, man. I’m tired and I need to get back to lock up a city playground each home to those kids.” night. About a year ago, the park reThey got up off the tables, grabbed their ceived a $1.2 million improvement, re- stuff and walked out. vitalizing the playground equipment While they wouldn’t admit it, since I’m sure and basketball court. there’s some weird, macho teen pride associatHonestly, it’s probably one of the ed with it, they heard me. They listened to reason and responded in a nicer things we have in our section way that proves Philly’s kids aren’t of East Kensington. a lost cause.

The playground is open from 9 I was in the car just this past a.m.-10 p.m., and on most nights, weekend in South Philadelphia especially winter nights like the when a group of about 25-30 teens ones we’ve had, it’s a ghost town. assembled, riding their bikes up I’m able to lock up and head back Washington Avenue. “These kids fairly quickly. About a week ago, on are terrifying,” said my passenger. my night to lock up, I encountered “Philly teenagers are the worst, a group of teenage kids who were they’re really scary.” hanging out in the playground.

When I asked why, she explained I informed them that 10 p.m. is through the stories of flash mobs in closing time for the playground and the streets, teens randomly punchthat it reopens the next day at 9 a.m. ing people trying to knock them And then all hell broke loose. out, obnoxious language, etc., be“I’m not going anywhere, get the @SPRTSWTR fore then adding that they have no fuck out of here, yo!” one of the boys home training and that parents are shouted. “You ain’t closing shit.” to blame.

I told them I have no horse in this race as I don’t blame parents. For as many kids who I’m certainly not going to get into a four-onone fight with a bunch of boys over a locked live in homes with absentee parents, and are gate. I replied simply, “boys, I’m not here to hooked on drugs or in and out of the system, you have kids living in single-parent families make you leave, I’m here to lock the gate. If you’d like you can tell the same thing to the working multiple jobs to give that kid a warm bed at night, hoping that while they’re away police when they get here.”

“You gonna call the cops on me for sitting doing so, that kid isn’t getting into trouble.

Or in my case regarding the playground, in the park? You’re a bitch. A pussy ass bitch,” looking to start it. another boy replied. “Fuck outta here.”

So I only have this message for both Philly Here’s the tipping point however. Here’s teens and to the people who judge them. where things could’ve gone two ways. The way For you kids, especially you kids of color, it went down and they way it could’ve now that the ball was in my court. The last thing know that a call from the cops, even if you’re I wanted to do was call the cops on these kids. let free, is a death sentence. You’re stigmaI’m simply locking the gate so that my kids tized. You’re viewed as a troublemaker, and wouldn’t be subjected to hypodermic needles when it comes to police, they’re there to do a job. or human waste that used to be prevalent on In Philly, you’re gonna get arrested, you’re playground equipment before the remodel and subsequent installation of a new fence. I have gonna get processed and congratulations no beef with them, even though they looked you’re now a part of the system and perpetuating a statistic. ready to set shit off with me.

To the ones who look at these kids colSo I explained that. Well, I embellished a lectively as a nuisance, or problem, know bit.

“Guys listen, I’m not calling the cops. that perhaps it just takes a little explaining for them to see where you’re coming from. I There’s no reason for that. But maybe it’ll help to explain why I do this,” I began. “Before this could’ve been involved in a brawl but I wasn’t. park was clean there were needles all over, Instead, I took these kids for four humans with brains and rolled that dice that reason people pissing and shitting everywhere. It was would prevail over hostility. foul. Now that we have a new park, my goal It doesn’t always work, but you don’t know and the goal of a lot of people in the neighif you don’t try – first. borhood is to keep it the same way you see it Take it from me as living proof. now. I have a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old that

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PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 16 – 23, 2020

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STATE OF OUR CITY

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

One more Mayor Kenney Last week, Mayor Kenney responded to some disparaging social media comments about him in a hilarious City Hall edition of Mean Tweets, made famous by late-night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel.

While this wasn’t a tweet per se, we received the following submission this week from reader Mark Pryzby: “Mayor Kenney is a JOKE! All he does is raise taxes! Hahaha.” With that said, we now ask if Mayor Kenney or anyone on his staff sees this and would like to comment in similar fashion to the Mean Tweets, you have our floor. Send it via voices@philadlephiaweekly.com and we’ll run it – the same way we did Mark’s.

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STATE

OF OUR

CITY

We’re in the wrong biz...

Not that we’re going anywhere, but earlier this week a few Philly-based technologists and designers released the results of a study they called the Philly Design Compensation Census. While Philly fell below a few of the median salaries nationwide, the numbers were still impressive. For example, according to a Technical.ly.com report, while the average salary for a UX designer hovers around $128,000 nationally, Philly design teams are still collecting anywhere from $90-$100k. Shoutout to all the kids who paid attention in computer class.

Get that money.

The number of shooting deaths in as many days this month in Philadelphia. You read that correctly: as of Monday, Jan. 13, there were 13 shootings, including three that resulted in deaths – just last weekend. Come on Philly, do better, this shit is getting ridiculous.

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e ..

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STATE OF OUR CITY

OVERHEARD IN PHILLY PHILLY OVERHEARD IN

“OK, so unpopular opinion. Maybe ‘Hustlers’ and ‘Bombshell’ had nothing to do with the Oscars being sexist. Maybe both of those movies just sucked? I saw the J-Lo one (‘Hustlers’) in the theater and yeah, it was trash, I’m sorry.”

– Women over coffee at La Colombe Coffee Roasters across from City Hall Monday morning in the after of the drama that was a field of all men getting nominated for a number of Academy Awards, including the all-male slate that made up Best Director.

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Selling

sex Here’s what it’s like to hawk Fleshlights and dildos for a living

BY IDELLA SPANN

JANUARY 16 – 23, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

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“Some might consider working in a sex shop unusual, but really it is no different than the usual retail with the focus being to help people to fuck better or look amazing while getting fucked.”

JANUARY 16 – 23, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

I

t’s about 1:30 am, and the faint screams of drunken white chicks can be heard near the front door, inducing a physical cringe and awareness of the chaos that is about to enter the sex shop. This chaos is second only to the bridal parties that consider it exotic to hang out in the Gayborhood bars.

Customers in line either sigh or are too far focused on making a choice for lube and video head cleaner to really care – for the night is only just getting started.

This is just the usual activity at the local 24/7 sex shop, maybe the last of its kind as everything is going the high-end boutique route or the privacy of home is preferred. This shop has only made a slight change – there are no longer video booths, and that strong scent of semen and bleach that used to permeate the place is long gone. The trade is the old booth area now contains a fantastic choice of underwear, jocks and thongs suiting the modern times of nightly sex activities.

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY On a daily, some of the old-school customers come in seeking the relief of a booth and are met with disappointment, while others settle on endless browsing of the DVD section and leave with their memories to go jerk off in a miscellaneous alley in the area if a sale isn’t made. Often people are more surprised we have DVDs in general, we still have magazines, and people still pay for porn.

Some might consider working in a sex shop unusual, but really it is no different than the usual retail with the focus being to help people to fuck better or look amazing while getting fucked.

From personal experience, being on the staff of this particular shop feels more like being a budget sex therapist. It is not all people coming in and buying dildos – they ask questions about the dildos, about the materials, is it firm is it soft, do you have a bigger one? Does it come in other colors? Is this good for anal? What type of lube should be used?

A favorite moment in particular was aiding an older lady looking to add some items to her collection.

She was from out of town and very unassuming, but it is important to note that those with some of the most exciting bed lives are the ones who are most inconspicuous.

She asked to see some items from the locked case filled with whips, floggers, spankers and crops, but they were not so much her desire of the night.

As conversation ensued and as personal information spilled, she fixated a bit on the medical items mostly consisting of speculums, sounds and a few pinwheels. She asked to handle the speculums and already admitted to owning a few small ones. She was looking for something that could go larger.

Jokingly, the very large horse speculum was retrieved from a different case, her face lit and the most honest thing ever said in the shop came from her mouth, “I like to be stretched.”

That being said, she also purchased a nineinch very, very girthy dildo for her husband with the reasoning being that his dick does not work so well anymore so he gets his jollies in

FEATURED a different form and was beyond the help of pills.

Now, some of the most amusing things are the herbal supplements that are sold. These pills are more or less OTC Viagra, and if one has ever questioned if they work, enough of them get sold so there is feedback on which ones work best. There have been articles on the mysteries of the pills, but mostly besides the occasional headache, they are safe and very much boner-inducing. Yes, they are purchased by older gentlemen who might need some help to get their dicks kick-started and also very much purchased by younger men ready for allnight fuck fests or cruising or a trip to the bath house.

Fleshlight + Pill + Lube combinations have also been sold to the guys that just like to go at it alone.

Women now also are not left out of the pill game, and they are beginning to sell just as well. Also, to note, originally this shop wasn’t so tuned to women, but it is garnering a change.

Doesn’t prevent the occasional comment “when did they start letting straight women work here,” but if it’s 3am and a drunk dude is trying to buy video head cleaners from you, such comments get shrugged off. Drunk people are a comIMAGE: Wikicommons mon occurrence as much as homeless people who try to jerk off in their pants in the DVD section. That is just the effect of having a place open 24/7.

Often the question is asked why the place is open 24/7, and after working at the establishment for a few months, it has the traffic to be open 24/7. People are always fucking … always. The question is usually asked by the very normal individuals who are not mature enough to fathom that people fuck all the time.

Just like the loud stampede of white girls, there are the jersey-wearing jocks who come in, intoxicated, and ask, “What’s the biggest dildo you have in the store?” They are shown the largest, and blush on the way out. Maybe taking out a new perspective or realizing an innermost desire. The longest item is “The Goose,” and the grittiest item is the “Red Boy,”

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SEE SEX SHOP, PAGE 10

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 16 – 23, 2020

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SEX SHOP, FROM PAGE 9 by the way, for those curious.

Whatever meets a person’s fancy, there is no judgment, and though society is entering the stages of being more open and acceptable, there are still individuals who enter the shop and have to loudly complain that their girlfriend has sent them to buy an item. Once a man insisted that his woman wanted a dildo, and he was huffing and puffing about having to be in a sex shop. Eventually, he settled on an item without asking the staff for recommendations, a thing that most men who are purchasing for their women do. He gets rung up, huffing and puffing, and left everyone else in the shop with a good laugh. It was agreed that if he wanted to buy a giant dildo for himself it was unnecessary to announce it to the shop. This happens often and is always comical.

That aside, the shop is a place where people

JANUARY 16 – 23, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

can express themselves or have very open conversations with staff or with each other. This can be a bit too open sometimes. I failed to mention that horse speculum lady did have a proposition for coming back to her hotel room to aid in her stretching fun. Much of it can be taken with a grain of salt, such as individuals wanting a perverse conversation without buying anything – they get shooed away and everything continues.

There is a constant slew of phone calls, especially late at night with heavy breathing or asking, “Do you have any toys for dirty girls” in a male voice or general prank calls. Once again, these are just answered straight-faced because it is to be expected. Out of any of the trouble that shop could have or has had, the only thing ever really enforced is that people should stop coming in and asking for poppers – it is called video head cleaner.

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FOOD

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small bites

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Fashionable food Fashion District deserves a chance to win over foodies

P

The food options in the Fashion District include some hits, and some misses, but residents should give it a chance to win over their palates. Image | Courtesy City Winery

JANUARY 16 - 23, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

hiladelphia has experienced expo- to be, the question of where will everyone eat nential growth in all aspects over during their stay comes to my mind. the past decade. Economically and On the subject of food, the complex seems a socially, more boxes are checked bit out of style. Dare I even say a fashion faux than ever before, from soaring pas? In my opinion, a makeover may already housing prices, proliferation of be warranted. Its attempt to be hip with what gentrification, booming employwe put in our mouths has turned out to be ment opportunities, mesmerizing arts and more like buying a pair of ‘80s style parachute culture, dazzling nightlife, spotlight pants in an age when artisanal nonon our historic places, and embraceGMO organic hemp overalls are what ment of diverse cultures. we should be purchasing instead.

BY DEREK TIMM What has impressed me most A lot of flash with little substance. during the last decade, though, is this Shackled by the chains of chain eatcity’s prominent placement of our eries. Either way, below is a Small culinary scene being one of top in the country Bites breakdown of what to expect if you’re now. Travel + Leisure named Philadelphia as hungry: the best food city on the East Coast in 2018.

Arriving to Fashion District via 8th Street Top that off with National Geographic Travby SEPTA or PATCO, a long narrow empty eler naming Philadelphia as one of the Top 25 soulless corridor welcomes commuters where places in the world to visit in 2020. a local bagel proprietor probably would make Word has gotten out how awesome Philly a killing making farm fresh breakfast sandis. We should be proud. It’s a lot of hype to wiches and light lunches. Instead, reality has live up to with expectations for everything at just a generic looking RX vending machine at an all-time high. The good press has visitors the end of the hall to help ease your pain of pouring in from all around the world wantjust surviving the smells and things you can’t ing to see and experience it for themselves. If have unseen from the great homeless and I was a foodie visiting us, I’d be excited to try open-air drug encampment that has overtakout this supposed epic food town awaiting me en the transit concourse now. with deliciousness to be eaten around every AMC DINE-IN Fashion District 8 – Who corner when the tour bus drops us off for our doesn’t love popcorn and a movie? Watch a four-hour excursion.

Hollywood blockbuster with comfortable fulThat brings us to the Fashion District. ly reclining seats in a state of the art theater.

With a price tag of over $400 million, it was This location even goes all Michael Bay on the built to transform Market East and said to be food selection available with a large menu to the missing piece of the puzzle to replace the choose from and adult beverages. I applaud boondoggle of The Gallery. Touted as the risthem, but the spoiler here is the food isn’t going tide to lift all boats around this long-neing to win any Academy Awards. glected section of Center City. A mecca of Beef Jerky Experience – Really nice selecbrick of mortar like no other during an age of tion of jerky to satisfy virgins to hardcore purinternet consumerism. Tourists and city resiists. Good stuff here and you can’t beat their dents alike are supposed to leave mesmerized meat options. This chain is a stroke of genius by this new attraction. that penetrated an untapped market and will Have these promises been met? Is Fashion allow you to take jerk off your list of things District the greatest thing since well, Fashion to try at least once in your life. Don’t take my District? I don’t know. I’m certainly no fashword for it, but I think after your first taste ionista. It’s really just a big fancy mall to me. you’ll come again.

Guess it all depends on what you are looking BurgerFi – Better than your average fast-cafor. What I do know is that a large portion is sual burger joint with a good selection and restill incomplete. There is a large list of stores spectable mission statement. coming soon so I assume it will fill up evenChick fil A – Hope you don’t shop on Suntually. Regardless of what is there or what is days, otherwise no chicken sandwich for you.

FOOD

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

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eryone eat

ex seems a shion faux ay already with what out to be parachute sanal nons are what g instead. substance. chain eats a Small if you’re

8th Street Chickie’s & Pete’s – Crabfries® have beow emptycome as iconic as soft pretzels and cheesers whereesteaks and for a darn good reason. They are ould makedownright delicious and addictive. I can eat fast sand-buckets of these things. A nice stop for toureality hasists to get a taste of Philly flair and ingenuity. machine at Cinnabon – I thought everyone gets these ur pain of premade at the supermarket now and bakes you can’tthem at home. eless and City Winery Philadelphia – Truly hands s overtak-down the crown jewel of Fashion District.

This is more of what I expected for the entire 8 – Whocomplex. They offer a varied menu that is ac? Watch atually pretty good, respectable wine list with rtable ful-some made on-site, and have blessed this city rt theater.with a new gorgeous full-service entertainBay on thement venue to enjoy a roster of top notch ene menu totertainment regularly. Job well done!

I applaud Dunkin Donuts – Just in case you missed d isn’t go-the other 20 locations in a four-block radius.

Freshii – Canadian version of Chipotle. nice selec-Matthew Corrin, the founder of Freshii, is dcore pur-a former marketing manager for Oscar de beat theirla Renta. A true fashion and food fusion mix of geniuseven though they don’t sell clothes here, just t and willfood. of things Haagen-Dazs – I scream, you scream, we ’t take myall scream for ice cream. I could eat this stuff first tasteevery day. Would have been more excited if Weckerly’s Ice Cream was there. ge fast-ca- Jamba – Decent selection, but I prefer the on and re-fruit street vendor trucks outside.

La Madeleine – Wear a beret and say bonp on Sun-jour to your friends. They do have a good varih for you. ety of things to choose from. Just don’t expect

a revolution over the French fare offered here as it’s nothing too out of the ordinary.

Oath Pizza – Better than some. Similar to most. You might just say this under oath.

PEI WEI – Step outside, take 10 steps north, and you will be in the heart of Chinatown.

Philly Pretzel Factory – Bonus points for having Philly in the name. I enjoy them, but I prefer the old school, unmarked paper bag version sold from a stolen shopping cart and handed to me from the man/woman on the corner who just picked their nose. Happy to know a visitor will at least have a respectable version to enjoy unlike some regional convenience store abomination that tries to peddle their version of a soft pretzel to the masses.

Rolling Cow – Kids will love the performance of ice cream being made right in front of their eyes. The real excitement is just waiting and knowing that your rugrats will ruin the kitchen counter someday trying to figure out how to do this at home now.

Round 1 – Alcohol, Bowling, Carnival games. Endless hours of fun will abound here for any age and a really cool spot to have a party or hang with friends. Sadly, unlike the Jackson 5 song, even with ABC the food choices here won’t rank in your top 1, 2, or 3.

Tiffany’s Bakery – The lone independently owned survivor from The Gallery days of lore.

You won’t be disappointed no matter what you order. It has been and probably always will be about the delicious strawberry shortcake here.

Yards Brewing Company – Live your best

life here. Extend your pinky finger while sipping on beer brewed in Philadelphia. Admire art-adorned walls surrounding the bar. Toast everyone to all the deals you scored shopping at Fashion District. Cheers to a well-placed idea with this.

That’s a wrap on your food choices currently. One might think food doesn’t matter and should look at it wholly on shopping merits.

On the contrary, I say. People want and demand an all-immersive and one-stop shop more than ever.

Ideally a middle ground to please all palates should have been considered. A hybrid Reading Terminal Market or Bourse Food Hall setup where startups, independents, farm co-ops, and corporations could intermingle and collaborate side by side.

Wholeheartedly, we all should want the Fashion District to flourish. If it doesn’t, I fear this area will have significant contraction for generations. You can’t have two monumental flops of development in a row without severe consequences toward future investment or even hope to keep the status quo.

There is still time. No need to panic. We can change. It is not finished with plenty of room for growth. Hopefully a middle ground can be found for all the foodies who had high hopes like I did. The sign at the door says open. Give them a chance. It’s the least we can do. Just don’t cancel your dinner reservation in Midtown Village just yet.

City Winery is the crown jewel of the Fashion District food scene with a varied menu and full-service entertainment venue. Image | Courtesy City Winery

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PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 16 - 23, 2020

14

GOSSIP

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

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ICEPACK

Arrested development Icepack talks development, music and weddings

I

Avenue. From his properties along Columbus am, most certainly, a believer that we are destroying the planet and that all Boulevard and back again, from remaking Northern Liberties to Atlantic City, Blatstein of the worst of true climate change, has always been equal parts Steve Wynn and beyond evolution, is our fault. I am also someone who despises any, any P. T. Barnum – the ultimate showman developer. Those corners of Broad and hint of cold weather, hates Washington, where the very best layering, starts ramping up thing that happened was Cirque du the thermostat when the barometer

BY A.D. Soleil? hits 49 degrees, and lines his finest AMOROSI Does anyone recall how Philly suits with HeatMax Hot Hands. native/”Bad Boy 4” star Will Smith So I get the zeal that pushes cliand his brother Harry Smith had mate activists to protest, but who their sights on, and claws into, the are the jackwads who reacted to the last several days’ heatwave with anything but northwest corner long before Leo Addimando’s Alterra Group, Metro Commercial Brotank tops? If you’re hating on hot weather in the death chill of January, you’re being more kers and Kimco Realty put up a Target and a Sprouts, along with 300-plus apartments? ungrateful than Harry and Meghan.

Blatstein has been fighting forever to get that Recent developments Two of the many things I have written corner a high rise tower-condo and mixed use about a lot no matter where I have worked retail space – a sadly losing battle over a supwithin the last 25 years is Philly developer posed wall cutting off South Philly and Center City, which makes little sense when you Bart Blatstein and the northwest and southwest corners of Broad Street and Washington consider the more positively received (but not

JANUARY 16 - 23, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

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GOSSIP

yet agreed upon) miserable Midwood tower at the watchful guise of Ochester, guitarist-comNinth and Washington – just blocks away from poser Monette Sudler and Grammy-winning Broad – does even more slicing and dicing of producer Aaron Luis Levinson. a homey neighborhood and historically zoned “Max is Berry Gordy, and I am the Jewish commercial property, of the Italian Market.

Norman Whitfield of Kensington,” said Levinson of his Dogtown label showrunner and the Back to Bart and that southwest corner: album’s executive producer.

Starting with a report from the Philadelphia “We recorded a new SOL album this past Business Journal, Blatstein and Giant Food Stores are getting together to make that gro- week at the incredible SSL-equipped room built by my old homie David Ivory,” said cery the retail anchor project of a proposed 80,000-square-foot complex, something huge Levinson of the Montgomery Room (aka to go with its teensy tiny satellite Giant Heir- MC3.)

“Max and I have been working on various loom Markets. (What is with tiny markets, by projects for a few years acthe way, e.g. the extually. I’m also producing citement about the the York Street Hustle at my mini-Wawa?)

Blatstudio in Ardmore, Range stein’s partnering Recording,” he said, speakwith Giant could be ing of South Philly’s finest considered a “fuck 10-piece, ‘60s-soul-inspired you” to the Sprouts ensemble.

Farmers Market Going back to discussing across the street, the Sounds of Liberation which is a shame disc, Levinson stated that the since Sprouts is the album’s composition, largeonly place where you ly by Sudler, is “killing. And can get roasted tur(saxophonist) David Murkey legs in August or ray who I knew way back in January, rather than my New Yawk daze, was the having to wait until guest on the album – he too Thanksgiving. slayed the dragon and indeed All things archithe water turned to cherry tecture wine.”

By the way, if all Condolences this development Condolences to the family talk has you juiced and friends of Jerry Stevens, and dancing about the man whose deep, mellifarchitecture is your luous radio voice spanned thing like it is mine, decades, from WIBG to you’ll get off on Jan. Image | Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons WPEN, to say nothing of his 21’s Dranoff Properties-hosted panel of performing arts, develop- time as program director at WMMR 93.3 from ment and architecture peeps such as Pulitzer 1970 to 1977. He passed away last weekend.

Work hard. Have fun. Get sued.

Prize-winning critic Paul Goldberger, KPF I bet Amazon didn’t want this delivered Founder and Arthaus architect A. Eugene Kohn, Kimmel Center CEO Anne Ewers, fast: The streaming-sender responsible for Philly Senior VP/Director of Research Lauren the “Free Meek” documentary (along with its producers Jay-Z and Philly’s Meek Mill) is Gilchrist and Carl Dranoff at the Kimmel’s Hamilton Garden starting at 6 p.m. next Tues- getting sued by Saqueta Williams, a one-time Philly cop, who claims that the Amazon series day. They’re going to talk all things Avenue of made her look like a liar when speaking with the Arts. the Philadelphia Police Department’s Internal New music Last year, I wrote extensively in PW about Affairs.

WHOWHATWHERE Girard Avenue’s Brewerytown Beats’ Max Not long before Scarlett Johansson got the Ochester and the label he started, Dogtown Records, to release rare recordings from best phone call for her two Oscar nominations loved, locally legendary R&B, jazz and gospel (Best Actress, “Marriage Story,” Best Supmusicians and singers. That has, so far, meant porting Actress, “Jojo Rabbit“), she attended finding, cleaning and releasing thought-for- a wedding at Philly’s Crystal Tea Room where gotten tapes from acts such as Germantown her fiancé, Colin Jost of Saturday Night Live jazzbos, the Sounds of Liberation (“Unre- Weekend Update fame, did the marrying. leased”) and North Philly funkateers The Philly-reared SNL Producer Erin Doyle and Sam Shechtman were the couple whose knot Thompsons (the family band’s 1975 LP, “I’ll Get Over It” got re-released Friday). Not until got tied, Jost did the officiating, several other now, however, have any of the long lost Dog- cast members (Beck Bennett, Aidy Bryant, Mitown acts – and/or their still living members chael Che, Ego Nwodim) were in attendance, the cake came from Termini’s, and supposedly – decided to give it a go again.

Scar Jo was an absolute sweetheart to all.

After several live shows in 2019 connected to “Unreleased,” The Sounds of Liberation are @ADAMOROSI making their first new music since 1973, under

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PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 16 - 23, 2020

16

PEOPLE

All Images: Courtesy of South Philly Review Facebook page

JANUARY 16 - 23, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

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PEOPLE

5 Questions: South Philly Review

The new – and funny – one, not the old one

T

he South Philly Review is a venPeople seem to love our in-depth reporting erable weekly newspaper that has of the issues facing South Philly. They also rebeen serving residents like forev- ally love our great Mayor Kenney. All of this is er. exactly as expected.

The South Philly Review also is a fairly new – and seriously funny Who and what are your favorite story – satirical Facebook page. topics, and why?

Today, we’ll focus Our favorite topics are the ones on the latter. (To be absolutely at the forefront of everyone’s clear, they are two completely sepmind. MS-13 using squirrels to

BY PHILADELPHIA run drugs, the soda tax, safe-inarate entities that, if your IQ is WEEKLY STAFF higher than your shoe size, you’ll jection sites. Frank Rizzo. The easily figure out.)

Mummers of course, Froggy Carr From the Mummers to the Philadelphia in particular. The interns have been running Parking Authority, the new South Philly Rethe show over the holidays, and they’ve realview pulls no punches. Weed? Safe-injection ly done a great job. We’re still not going to pay sites? The soda tax? MS-13? Gritty? Baby Yoda them, but they all got a banana sticker. for president in 2020? You’ll find all of this and And of course, the stories we have yet to more. write.

So how do you get in on all the fun? Here’s how: There’s been some back-and-forth with 1. Go to Facebook. the “real” SPR and Facebook. How do you 2. Search for South Philly Review. think all of that will play out? Any worries 3. Click on either or both choices. about getting shut down?

4. When you start laughing your ass off, Our editor is a bit of a lush. The day we you’ve found the one we’re talking created the page it was supposed to be “South about here.

Philly Re-Ewwwww” but she was in her cups PW recently caught up with the minds beand screwed it up. We tried to fix it, but Facehind the satirical South Philly Review to get book seems to not be allowing that at the moall the details behind the page. ment. We’re clearly labeled as satire though, in this day and age people on social media So why start a South Philly-focused sashould surely be able to tell the difference betirical Facebook page? tween real news, fake news, and obvious satWe were inspired by the passion of people ire, don’t you think? on the Facebook page South Philly Born And Where do you see the page going? Is this Raised, as well as by our deep love of Sara “just for fun” thing for you or are there cone’s seeded loaf. plans for even bigger and better things?

We’re going to Dawn’s Live Crabs to pick up What’s been the response from those who dinner. I dunno, are you hiring? have visited your page? Is it what you ex@PHILLYWEEKLY pected?

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PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 16 - 23, 2020

18

VOICES

If you’re a lawyer and you’re reading this...

OF OUR

CITY

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

THE SHOUT OUT Image: Unsplash

JAWN Editor’s note: The following is in response to recent reports that “jawn” is now dead.

– Bud Weiser | Philadelphia

Rise up

Normalcy under attack daily and though the sensational makes the news, the daily violence goes unreported. Dare one speak up, they are labeled snitch. What does this say about us? What of the government that fails to stop the scourge of dope and guns that populate our streets?

The underbelly has risen out of the darkness to the everyday, tentacles unfold, reach into every neighborhood in the city.

I love this city, my home.

I pray for this city, my home.

I grieve for this city, my home.

After the protests, candlelight vigils, pols talking and talking, illegal guns, straw purchases, senseless violence continues day to day, week to week, month to month.

Rise, rise up I say cast the light of truth upon this city give hope to the impoverished condemn those who glorify violence stop the flow of dope take the guns hold the pols accountable.

I love this city, my home I pray for this city, my home I grieve for this city, my home I have hope for this city, my home.

– g emil reutter | Philadelphia

JANUARY 16 – 23, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

Mourning the

sad death of

PLEASE HELP!!! I’ve been trying to contact Steve Volk or Julie Christie [writers of your story on evictions called] House Rules.

That story is me! I’m currently facing imminent eviction from a slumlord. I discovered on [Dec. 27] that after I signed the lease the owner/landlord changed the terms, altered the lease, forged my signature, then submitted that fake to Court to win an eviction order against me. I filed criminal charges against them as soon as I discovered this crime. I need help so I don’t get evicted in 10 days!

Despite the pen name, we view this as a very serious letter. Can you help? Email us at voices@philadelphiweekly.com and we’ll put you in contact.

YOUR THOUGHTS

Sail, Eagles sail

The Eagles’ season ended on a downer, but there’s no reason to be sad for too long. The team is sponsoring a cruise – complete with former players and booze – March 21-28. Prices start at $1,700. Visit philadelphiaeaglescruise.com for details.

Your turn: Is this an awesome or terrible idea? What’s the over/under on the number of times “Fly, Eagles Fly” will be belted out? Will the ship have its own “jail”?

Send your thoughts to voices@philadelphiaweekly.com

JAWN is DEAD! I vividly remember being 16, so this was 1996, and my friend Taji, who went to Gratz, managed to use a string of different versions of Jawn to the toon of “Put the JAWN in JAWNt with the kaJAWNt son,” and I knew exactly what he was talking about.

Magical moments like that could only exist prior to the word becoming gentrified and used by people who think it’s kitschy and did not grow up with it.

I never gave JAWN a second thought until recently; once I heard a local radio station have their “Winter Jawn” I thought, “what the fuck, why are they using JAWN?” I knew something was amiss.

I now live in the burbs and JAWN truly ended for me when a very suburban female friend used JAWN and again I was like WTF. I told her she could not use it since she did not grow up in Philly; she laughed but I was serious, I was somehow offended by her using it.

I feel, in part, this anger comes from the disappearance of how I knew Philly as a kid and what it looks like now; with the disappearance of neighborhoods, culture, and now the death of JAWN. I don’t even like using it anymore and have had to stop myself from using it, but maybe JAWN and what’s it’s turned into is my green light; longing for a past that won’t come back. But I’ll always have Taji…

– Ryan H. | Reading

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

VOICES OF OUR CITY

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Commit to renewable energy To the Editor, The first time I learnt about climate change, I was 8 or 9. My family friends had bought me a large, scary book with the words “CLIMATE CHANGE” printed in bold letters on the front. The images of cars stuck in floods on the front terrified me, and I quickly went to shove it away on a shelf and avoid the uncomfortable thoughts in regards to the impending collapse of our environment.

Even just the action, however, of my parents buying me that book already changed my perception of the looming climate crisis. As my parents began introducing the concept of climate change more and more into our daily discussions, the issue became more and more pertinent to me, and I began to do research on my own.

I wasn’t truly moved to act, however, until I became more informed of the crisis through Greta Thunburg’s riveting youth movement, which forced me and my friends into dialogues that we previously were able

to avoid and disregard.

Along with volunteering, calling our senators and voting, it is vital that our communities begin fostering open dialogue in regards to the climate crisis. Dialogue is essential for people to begin forming solid opinions and thoughts about climate change, especially for the youth.

We must begin discussing ideas like conservation, renewable energy and waste management at younger ages, and raise these issues in our communities, in order to never ignore the big white “CLIMATE CHANGE” book on our shelves.

We now have the exciting opportunity to pass H.B. 1425 and S.B. 630 to ensure that Pennsylvania uses clean energy: we must campaign together, speak about these bills as a community, and show our legislators that this is our priority. In order to stop the worst effects of climate change, we must transition to 100 percent renewable energy.

We cannot let this opportunity pass.

learn more and sign up for early access at nourity.com

Asaf Lebovic | Philadelphia

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 16 – 23, 2020

20

MUSIC

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

Claim to fame Did you know Philly’s own Boyz II Men got its name from Bell Biv Devoe?

R

icky Bell doesn’t even try to sugarcoat it.

When it comes to Philadelphia legends Boyz II Men, the Boston-based group Bell Biv Devoe takes the claim of gifting the city not just with the group, but with

Along the way it would be BBD’s Michael “Biv” Bivins who would manage and promote the Philly boys via his Motown Records spin off label Biv 10 Records to international stardom.

If you’re too young to remember Boyz II Men (“MotownPhilly”), Bell Biv Devoe (“Poitheir name. son”) or New Edition (“Candy Girl”), you’ve “They are the group that in my opinion put certainly heard all of these tracks at some Philly R&B on the map but y’all forget point even if you couldn’t readily they got their name from one of our put your finger on the name of them. songs,” Bell told PW over the phone in BY KERITH There’s still a whole bunch of people GABRIEL advance of BBD’s near sold-out show out there who value the impact groups Parx Casino on Jan. 18. “They found like BBD to the hip-hop, R&B genre, us, but we named them proof in there being and it’s something we only limited seats availas BBD are really proud able for BBD’s Saturday of.”

Night show at the Xcite Technically, it wasn’t Center.

BBD that discovered the Why, almost 40 years group. later?

Jump in a time cap“Because we bring sule and jettison back the fucking party,” said 32 years to 1988 when Bell. “It’s more about original members of making music for us BBD were a part of and going through the the award-winning motion, it’s about the group, New Edition. performance, the expeThe group dropped an rience for our fans. We album called “Heartmay be Boston boys, break,” with a single on but the fan base here in it called “Boys to Men.” Philly is amazing. We’ve A year later, a collecalways been that date tive that later would be — Ricky Bell, one part of legendary hip-hop, R&B night concert, you’re trio Bell Biv Devoe on being a part of the group known as Boyz II Men gonna dance, you’re that discovered and helped turn Philly legends and over the years feagonna sing our shit for tured Nathan Morris, two hours, that’s just Boyz II Men into an international sensation.

Wanya Morris, Shawn how it is and that’s how Stockman, Marc Nelson and Michael McCary it always has been when we come to Philadelwere granted access backstage at a New Ediphia.” tion show. A trio – which Bell couldn’t readily Bell paused and added: recall – hit a tune a cappella for New Edition “We have a history with Philadelphia, and that “was a wrap for us.” to us, given that history, Philly has always felt The Boyz II Men collective, which originally like home.” called itself Unique Attraction, affectionately known for using the bathroom walls at PhilaBell Biv Devoe | Saturday, Jan. 18. 8 p.m. delphia’s School for the Performing Arts for $35-75. The Xcite Center at Parx Casino, 2999 its wonderful acoustics, slapped a twist on Street Rd., Bensalem tickets.parxcasino.com “Boys to Men,” becoming Boyz II Men — and @SPRTSWTR the rest is R&B history.

“They are the group that in my opinion put Philly R&B on the map but y’all forget they got their name from one of our songs...they found us, but we named them and it’s something we as BBD are really proud of.”

Legendary hip-hop and R&B group Bell Biv Devoe are the headliners at Parx Casino on Jan. 18. The group is what spawned Philly’s similar sound in fellow legendary group Boyz II Men. | Image: Shauna Carnegie/Primary Wave Digital

JANUARY 16 - 23, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

THE

Shooting people Catch Kevin O’Brien’s "The Faces in My Home" photo exhibit at the Black Cat Tavern through the end of the month. His seven-year project features contrasting black and white and color shots of people – some of whom you may know. The show can be seen daily free of charge from 11am to 2am upstairs. If you have a pic to share with us, send it to mail@philadelphiaweekly.com or tag us on social media using the hashtag #PWBigPic.

BIG

PICTURE

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THUR JANUARY 16

MUSIC

The Menzingers

We’ve loved these guys since the start, but we didn’t always know they were from Philly. Guess that explains why we’ve connected with their energetic sound so much. Nothing can damper that Philly spirit, and these guys are here to prove that with a show in an intimate spot that’s more than likely to sell out. | 8 pm. $15. Boot and Saddle, 1131 S. Broad St.

THE SCENE A WEEK'S WORTH OF ADVENTURES A C R O S S P H I L LY N E I G H B O R H O O D S

Beach Fossils

These guys will be the best gems you’ve discovered in a while. Stumbling across them is no mistake – they are here to bless your world with sensual soundscapes. They’ll give you that exact feeling of picking up a buried fossil on a breezy beach. | 8 pm. $18.

First Unitarian Church, 2125 Chestnut St.

Our PowerPoint-happy professors used to make our college classes so fucking monotonous. These comedians will bring some respect back to the most efficient way to present information. We can’t picture how this will go, but we guess you’ll have to wait for the next slide to figure it out. | 7:30 pm. $5. Philly Improv Theater, 2030 Sansom St.

Todd Glass

La Maison Rose

MUSIC

Next Slide, Please: A Show of Slideshows

COMEDY

SHOW

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COMEDY

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bootandsaddlephilly.com

A monthly show that sticks to the classic sexiness of the art of burlesque. Lelu Lenore is the producer and headliner that will make your hearts flutter. You don’t need any extra over-the-top themes to draw you into this show – if you appreciate burlesque as it is, you’ll love this. | 10 pm. $20. Franky Bradley’s, 1320 Chancellor St.

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Winterfest Brewfest All that beer will get you warmed up at this annual festival. Get a taste of the freshest brews from local and regional breweries. And, if you find a new favorite, grab a pint at the bar. All of the samples will be featured on tap.

We have plenty of the best breweries right here in our city, but, of course, you must be at least 21 to sample, and samples are available while supplies last, so get there early.

What: Winterfest Brewfest When: Saturday, Jan. 18, 1 pm Where: Blue Cross Riverrink, 101 S. Columbus Blvd. How much: Free More: facebook.com

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JANUARY 16 – 23, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

Glass has been a staple in the comedy scene ever since his first stand-up performance at 16. He’s like any other hard-working comedian – he’s appeared on late night, in his own Netflix special and in two comedy albums – but we think you’ll find his point of view refreshing. | 8 pm. $18. Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St. philadelphia. heliumcomedy.com MUSIC

Kyle Sparkman

This ex-pat hailing from Philly and now based in France makes indie funk music that is the perfect soundtrack for vibing out. He’s back in the U.S. for a few shows and to perform his new single, “Homesick.” I guess we know now why he’s visiting. | 7:30 pm. $10. Ortlieb’s, 847 N. 3rd St. facebook.com

MUSIC

Ron Pope

We greatly appreciate artists like Pope who pour their souls into their songwriting.

It can’t be easy to go through life, then write it all down and relive it over and over again when recording in the studio and performing live. We’re just lucky to have reflective singer-songwriters like Pope who live to open themselves up to us. | 8 pm. $25. The Foundry, 29 E. Allen St. thefillmorephilly.com ART

The Future of Art

This may depict exactly how you picture the future of art galleries to be. Art will be displayed using augmented reality technology, which will undoubtedly alter the limits of our physical reality. Trippy stuff. | 8 pm. Free. The Maas Building, 1325 N. Randolph St. facebook.com

FRI JANUARY 17

COMEDY

Punk Rock Comedy

Comedy happens to already pretty much be a punk art.

Two of our favorite forms of entertainment will merge for this night of live comedy and music. Cram into a neighborhood bar to catch performances by comedians Joseph Dougherty, Jesse Pedraza and Sarah Bell. | 8 pm. $7. Connie’s Ric Rac, 1132 S. 9th St. facebook.com

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MUSIC

Jesse Malin

Unless you knew him back then, you probably would’ve never guess Malin started out as a hardcore punk. Since going solo, he has mastered the art of vivid storytelling through his songs. | Friday, 9 pm. $18. Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave. eventbrite.com LGBTQ

Fistful of Kisses

ART

Philadelphia Tattoo Arts Convention

Tattoo artists will crawl out of their studios for this three-day artistic convention. Get a look at all the incredible art flowing through the city right now. This is also the perfect chance to get that ink you may have always wanted. | Friday, 2 pm. $22$45. Pennsylvania Convention Center, 1101 Arch St. villiainarts.com

Get hit in the face with some queer bops for a good cause.

This is a monthly dance party that gives all donations earned to a different charity each month. This month’s charity is the Philadelphia Tenant’s Society. | 10 pm.

Free. Dahlak Paradise, 4708 Baltimore Ave. facebook.com MUSIC

Jake Huffman

Give the drummer some and show up for a fellow Philadelphian. This local musician plays in the band McLovins, and has also been heard before on WXPN’s “World Cafe.” | 8:30 pm. $10.

MilkBoy, 1100 Chestnut St. eventbrite.com

ART

NUMINOUSmag Modified Art & Fashion Show

This art magazine is throwing a fashion show to celebrate “Modified,” its latest edition.

Tons of vendors and artists will be showing off what they have as the work of three different fashion designers will be displayed on the runway. | 6 pm. $20.

Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill St. eventbrite.com PARTY

Back to the 90s Dance Party

1990 was 30 years ago – let that sink in. Don’t look back in anger, though – you can

relive those good days at this nostalgic dance party. Get filled up on adult Capri Sun pouches and run to the floor when they play your song. | 9 pm. Free. Toasted Walnut, 1316 Walnut St. facebook.com INTERESTS

Philadelphia Pen Show

Let’s take a trip to pen island.

See a variety of the longest, shortest, fattest, strangest looking pens, and drop in on handwriting and calligraphy workshops. Open yourself up to a whole world you may have never known existed – unless you’re already a huge pen fanatic. | 10 am. $13-$35. Philadelphia 201 Hotel, 201 N. 17th St. philadelphiapenshow.com

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 16 – 23, 2020

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MUSIC

The Dan Band

Dan Finnerty is here to raunch up any song that you may have once thought was wholesome. He has acted the part of the inappropriate wedding singer in “Old School” and “Hangover.” He’s even better at manifesting that role in real life. | Saturday, 9 pm. $21. Theatre of Living Arts, 334 South St. venue.tlaphilly.com

215-755-1500 215-755-1500 www.psbanker.com www.psbanker.com

Notice of Non-Affiliation and Disclaimer: Prudential Bank is The notPrudential affiliated, associated, authorized or endorsed by or in any way officially connected Insurance Notice of Non-Affiliation Disclaimer: Prudential Bank with is not affiliated, associated, authorized orofendorsed byany orand inin any way connected with The Prudential Insurance Company America or of its subsidiaries or affiliates. authorized or endorsed by or any way officially officially connected with The Prudential Insurance Company of America oror any ofofits oraffiliates. affiliates.

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JANUARY 16 – 23, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

Friends and Fam

You don’t have to worry about a proper dress code or a snobby crowd here. This party is all for those who want to come as they are. No judgment here. | 10 pm. $10. Warehouse on Watts, 923 N. Watts St. ticketweb.com MUSIC

Mikey Junior Band

FOOD & DRINK

MUSIC

Winterfest Brewfest

Snoop Dogg

All that beer will get you warmed up at this annual festival. Get a taste of the freshest brews from local and regional breweries. Luckily, we have plenty of the best right here in our city. | 1 pm. Free.

Blue Cross Riverrink, 101 S. Columbus Blvd.

We can already smell him coming. You know who he is.

“Drop It Like It’s Hot,” “Gin & Juice,” his cooking show with Martha Stewart … the hits don’t stop coming. We’re pretty sure all the weed he’s smoked has made him invincible at this point. | 8 pm. $60. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St.

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facebook.com

ART

A Tribe Called Quest Exhibit

Junior really knows his way around a harmonica. Let him stun you with his self-taught skills. Although, he couldn’t teach himself to have all that damn swagger – that stuff just comes naturally. | 9 pm. Free.

The Twisted Tail, 509 S. 2nd St.

This group that paved the way for modern hip-hop artists deserves only the best tribute.

Come out to view work by local artists that honors the band, with donations going to The Black Bird Community Center for black and brown youth. | 4 pm. $5-$10. Philly Art Collective, 253 N. 3rd St.

facebook.com

eventbrite.com

INTERESTS

Women’s March on Philadelphia

Mobilize to take down the patriarchy. Expect the parkway to be packed for part of the day. It’s all for a positive reason, though. Suffer in the traffic or get on your feet and join the cause. | 10 am. Free. Logan Circle, 200 N. 19th St. facebook.com

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

SUN JANUARY 19

MUSIC

Future Stars Show

Six local up-and-coming metal bands are the focus of this show. If you’re a fan, keep an eye on them – you could see these bands blow up and headline The Fillmore one day soon. | 2 pm. $10. The Fire, 412 W. Girard Ave. facebook.com COMEDY

Your Sunday Best

It would all be worth it, though, to catch some of the most talented souls in Philly. You don’t have to go to a bunch of places to get your fix – this is a stand-up, concert and play performance all in one. | 8 pm. Free. Quig’s Pub, 1714 Delancey Pl. eventbrite.com

PARTY

Ecstatic Dance

If you start dancing, you’re going to start smiling – no matter how shitty of a mood you’re in. That’s the goal at this community dance party, where everyone is welcome to show up and move in their own way. Get healed with sounds provided by PanSong. | 6 pm. $15. Philadelphia Ethical Society, 1906 Rittenhouse Square. eventbrite.com

MUSIC

Fire From Flint

This solo singer-songwriter is constantly playing gigs and creating new tunes. He tends to be influenced by blues and folk – no matter, he’s always bringing us performances powered by the fire inside him. | 8 pm. $8. Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St. eventbrite.com MUSIC

Just Good Music

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MUSIC

Journey: Sounding Resistance with Ruth Naomi Floyd

Let Floyd’s beautiful vocals transcend you into a higher state of being. The songs and poetry presented today will be inspired by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s bravery in setting forward a path to resist. | 1 pm. $2. The African American Museum in Philadelphia, 701 Arch St.

It can be more difficult to find good musicians playing in the city than you think. Luckily, you have us to point you in the right direction.

If you’re in search of a night that will offer strictly the best – in terms of music and party – look no further. | 10 pm. $10.

Golf & Social, 1800 N. Delaware Ave.

facebook.com

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PARTY

Hair O’ the Dog

If you’re going to spend any money tonight, it may as well be on tickets to the best event in Philly. Dress to impress and get down to live sets

by Laidback Luke, the Deux Twins and DJ N9NE of Q102. | 9 pm. $95. NOTO, 1209 Vine St.

FUNDRAISER

Beer & Beef for Australian Firefighter Relief

Give your support to stop the fires all the way from Philly. Get access to an open bar, a buffet and three hours of arcade games with your generous donation. If you eat a little too much, just remember it was for a good cause. | Sunday, 2 pm. $40.

The Post, 129 S. 30th St. facebook.com

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 16 – 23, 2020

26 X

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY INTERESTS

MON JANUARY 20

MUSIC

The Philadelphia Orchestra’s Annual MLK Concert

INTERESTS

MLK Jr. Day of Service

You should feel the spirit of giving even more today than usual. Volunteer your time to clean up these beautiful grounds. Bring a pot of some soup for the potluck lunch afterwards. | Monday, 9 am. Free. Awbury Arboretum, 1 Awbury Road. awbury.org

This annual tribute to the civil rights legend on MLK Day never disappoints. Inclusivity is an important theme of the night, as the orchestra plays music by African-American composers. It’s all about the powerful way that music unites us all, no matter our backgrounds. | 4 pm.

Free. Girard College, 2101 S. College Ave. facebook.com

MLK Carnival

The kids are off from school today – bring them to have some fun while honoring the holiday. Enjoy a classic day at the roller rink with the whole family– rain or shine, it’ll be a good time. | 10 am. $12.

Rolling Thunder Skating Rink, 7017 E. Roosevelt Blvd. facebook.com DISCUSSION

Conversation Group

This group exists just to drum up a discussion.

Recent news articles, books and relationships are just a few of the hundreds of potential topics talked about in this interactive group. | 3 pm. Free. FRIEDA for Generations, 320 Walnut St. facebook.com

JANUARY 16 – 23, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

FESTIVAL

MLK Jr. Day Festival

Start the day off making arts and crafts inspired by MLK Jr.’s life and famous quotes.

Author Jerry Pinkney will be there to talk about his latest book “A Place to Land,” which is about the famous “I Have a Dream” speech. | Noon. Free.

Woodmere Art Museum, 9201 Germantown Ave. facebook.com MUSIC

Greyson Chance

Remember when this kid went viral for playing “Paparazzi” by Lady Gaga on piano? That little bit of fame has stretched a long way for Chance. Unlike just anyone who’s able to gather millions of views for being dumb, this guy actually has musical

talent and actively puts out songs. Check out “Boots,” his newest album. | 8 pm. $17.

The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St. facebook.com INTERESTS

Clean Slate Screening Event

Get a second chance at life this MLK Day. If there’s an old charge standing out on your record that’s preventing you from moving on, come out to this and you could get it erased. We’ve all made mistakes, but some of us aren’t lucky enough to be able to just shake them off. | 11:30 am. Free. Grand Yesha Ballroom, 2308 Snyder Ave. facebook.com

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

CALENDAR

10 Under $10 Low on dough? You can still have a blast Fistful of Kisses

Fire From Flint

facebook.com

Eventbrite.com

Mikey Junior Band

The Philly Orchestra’s Annual MLK Concert

Get hit in the face with some queer bops for a good cause. This is a monthly dance party that gives all donations earned to a different charity each month. This month’s charity is the Philadelphia Tenant’s Society. | Friday, Jan. 17, 10 pm. Free. Dahlak Paradise, 4708 Baltimore Ave.

TRIVIA

All that knowledge compartmentalized from childhood will be working in your favor. Tap into everything you know about Snow White, Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast and all things classic Disney. You’ll be rewarded for it for once. | Tuesday, 7:30 pm. Free. Field House, 1150 Filbert St.

Junior really knows his way around a harmonica. Let him stun you with his self-taught skills. Although, he couldn’t teach himself to have all that damn swagger – that stuff just comes naturally. | Saturday, Jan. 18, 9 pm. Free. The Twisted Tail, 509 S. 2nd St.

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facebook.com

Disney Movie Trivia

TUES JANUARY 21

INTERESTS

The Original Songwriter’s Open Mic

The emphasis here is on original music created by the performers. Get up there and blow the crowd away. Any talent is welcome, but just remember this crowd is ready to hear your organic lyrics and sounds. | 8 pm. Free. SawTown Tavern, 4717 Princeton Ave. facebook.com MOVIES

DocNights: We Exist: Beyond the Binary

Not everybody identifies on the comfortable gender binary of male or female. There are thousands of folks living beyond the norms we’ve all known for years. We’re glad

films like this one exist to give representation to these people going through the motions of surgeries, pronouns, societal acceptance and more. | 7 pm.

Free. Philadelphia Film Society, 1412 Chestnut St. filmadelphia.org MUSIC

IDER

Megan Markwick and Lily Somerville are serious best friend goals. Can you imagine meeting someone who you vibe with, then finding out that your voices harmonize perfectly? Not everything in this world falls so into place, but the meeting of these two has luckily given us some of the best new music out there. | 8:30 pm. $13. Boot and Saddle, 1131 S. Broad St. bootandsaddlephilly.com MUSIC

Friggin Sux

This probably isn’t an ideal

band name to have if you actually want people to listen to your music. Luckily, we know these guys don’t suck – they just give us all the best psychedelic, fuzzy jams they can come up with. | 7 pm. $7. Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St. facebook.com INTERESTS

StorySlam: The Next Day

We all want to turn our lives around when a new year comes. 2020 isn’t just a new year – it’s a new decade, with tons of opportunities for new beginnings. At this storytelling event, share what that next day looks like for you – that day where you will look back on your victories or losses from the day before. Take action to keep your life moving forward. | 7:30 pm. $10. ComedySportz, 2030 Sansom St. firstpersonarts.org

Women’s March on Philadelphia

Mobilize to take down the patriarchy. Expect the parkway to be packed for part of the day. It’s all for a positive reason, though. Suffer in the traffic or get on your feet and join the cause. | Saturday, Jan. 18, 10 am. Free. Logan Circle, 200 N. 19th St. facebook.com

Journey: Sounding Resistance with Ruth Naomi Floyd

Let Floyd’s beautiful vocals transcend you into a higher state of being. The songs and poetry presented tonight will be inspired by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s bravery in setting forward a path to resist. | Sunday, Jan. 19, 1 pm. $2. The African American Museum in Philadelphia, 701 Arch St. facebook.com

Your Sunday Best

It’s tough to encourage folks to go out on a Sunday night. It would all be worth it, though, to catch some of the most talented souls in Philly. You don’t have to go to a bunch of places to get your fix – this is a stand-up, concert and play performance all in one. | Sunday, Jan. 19, 8 pm. Free. Quig’s Pub, 1714 Delancey Pl. eventbrite.com

This solo singer-songwriter is constantly playing gigs and creating new tunes. He tends to be influenced by blues and folk – no matter, he’s always bringing us performances powered by the fire inside him. | Sunday, Jan. 19, 8 pm. $8. Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St.

This annual tribute to the civil rights legend on MLK Day never disappoints. Inclusivity is an important theme of the night, as the orchestra plays music by African-American composers. | Monday, Jan. 20, 4 pm. Free. Girard College, 2101 S. College Ave. Facebook.com

DocNights: We Exist: Beyond the Binary

There are thousands of folks living beyond the norms we’ve all known for years. We’re glad films like this one exist to give representation to these people going through the motions of surgeries, pronouns, societal acceptance and more. | Tuesday, Jan. 21, 7 pm. Free. Philadelphia Film Society, 1412 Chestnut St. Filmadelphia.org

Friggin Sux

This probably isn’t an ideal band name to have if you actually want people to listen to your music. Luckily, we know these guys don’t suck – they just give us all the best psychedelic, fuzzy jams they can come up with. | Tuesday, Jan. 21, 7 pm. $7. Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St. facebook.com

Live Band Karaoke

Don’t be intimidated – you don’t actually need to know how to sing to do this. If you screw it up, you may bring the whole band down with you, but we wouldn’t worry too much. Everyone coming out to this is just in it for the good times. | Tuesday, Jan. 21, 9 pm. Free. VOIX, 2825 Cottman Ave. facebook.com

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 16 – 23, 2020

28 X

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WED JANUARY 22

LGBTQ

A Gay Old Time You can expect to have one at this showcase of local LGBTQ comedians. We don’t know exactly who will be there, but we can assume they’ll be funny. That’s really all you need to be prepared for a comedy show. | 8 pm. $16. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. punchlinephilly.com MUSIC

Georgey V

Georgey is a Philly musician pouring his heart into his danceable, indie rock tunes.

We haven’t had the pleasure of seeing him perform before, but we’re sure you wouldn’t want to miss it. | 7 pm. Free. The Pharmacy, 1300 S. 18th St.

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY ART

Art at Mission: “Open Up”

Conrad Benner of Streets Dept. will be curating this experimental art space where local artists will have the chance to have their work displayed in rotating exhibits. | 5 pm. Free. Mission Taqueria, 1520 Sansom St. facebook.com MUSIC

The Glorious Sons

Singer and songwriter Brett Emmons candidly writes about his own life in his songs, especially in the band’s newest album “Young Beauties & Fools.” You’ll be as proud of these guys as you would be of your own sons. | 7:30 pm. $25. Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St. utphilly.com

MUSIC

Danny Worsnop

Worsnop is most known as the lead singer of hardcore band Asking Alexandria.

Since sparking a solo career with the release of “The Long Road Home” in 2017, he’s surprised us with his ability to create some magical sounds. | 6:30 pm. $20. Voltage Lounge, 421 N. 7th St. eventbrite.com MUSIC

Andy Shauf Listening Party Come out to listen to Shauf’s latest album, “The Neon Skyline,” two days before its official release. It’s only appropriate that this album about a night at a bar has a party at a bar. | 6 pm.

Free. Urban Village Brewing Company, 1001 N. 2nd St.

LEARN

Adulting 101

Being a grown-up responsible for yourself is hard. This event series is designated to give support to those that could use a little help navigating this thing we called life. This month’s discussion is about how to buy a home – a feat you may think is nearly impossible these days. | Wednesday, 6 pm. $25. Saxby’s, 2300 Chestnut St. eventbrite.com

facebook.com

facebook.com

INTERESTS

True Crime with Sarah Cailean

Life may suck at times, but you always need to be reminded that it could be worse. Hear gruesome and mysterious tales of true crime told by a cold case investigator and total badass. | Wednesday, 7 pm. Free. Khyber Pass Pub, 56 S. 2nd St. facebook.com

JANUARY 16 – 23, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

Best BETS Philadelphia Tattoo Arts Convention

Tattoo artists will crawl out of their studios for this three-day artistic convention. Get a look at all the incredible art flowing through the city right now. This is also the perfect chance to get that ink you may have always wanted. | Starts Friday, Jan. 17, 2 pm. $22-$45. Pennsylvania Convention Center, 1101 Arch St. villiainarts.com

MUSIC

Motionless in White

This band’s music is heavy in all kinds of ways. Lead vocalist Chris Motionless lets all his emotions out in his lyrics, accompanied by banging drums and screeching guitars. Don’t be sad – be mad that there’s nobody else out there who can do it like them. | Thursday, 7 pm. $29.50. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St. facebook.com

THUR JANUARY 23

COMEDY

Lovable Monsters & Friends

All comedians are a little crazy, but we love them anyway.

Celebrate the eccentricities of local funny people Che Guerrero, Rob Crews and more at this bi-weekly performance. | 8 pm.

Free. Manny Brown’s, 512 South St. eventbrite.com INTERESTS

The Snake Pit

Business-minded people will step up to the pit to pitch their innovative ideas. In this local version of “Shark Tank,” each contestant is given information on what the judges want to hear.

The winner will be named the Pitch Viper. | 8 pm. Prices vary.

Front Street Dive, 10 S. Front St. facebook.com

LEARN

Science After Hours: The Roaring 20s

Throw it back to those golden days before the Great Depression hit. We hope these 2020s take some inspiration from the carefree attitudes of this decade. Just leave the Prohibition behind, though – nobody needs to go through that again. | 7 pm. $25. The Franklin Institute, 222 N. 20th St. fi.edu LGBTQ

Miss L’Etage Pageant

Claws will come out at this second annual drag competition.

Some of Philly’s hardest-working queens will be out in full force to battle for a crown and the title of Philly drag royalty. | 8 pm. Free.

L’Etage, 624 S. 6th St. facebook.com

COMEDY

Everything is FINE!

WWIII may be starting soon, and Australia is nearly burnt entirely to ashes. Let’s just take some time to enjoy life while everything comes crashing down around us.

Josh Kosh, Frank Neblett, Chris Wood and Lump Hamilton will be your comedy pilots for the night – they’ll get us flying high and away from all the bullshit. | 8 pm.

Free. Germantown Garden, 1029 Germantown Ave. facebook.com MUSIC

Making Time with James Murphy

The 20th anniversary of this transcendental sound experience is about to get crazy.

Murphy of LCD Soundsystem has been delivering the sounds of the future since 2001. | 9 pm. $35. Warehouse on Watts, 923 N. Watts St.

Ecstatic Dance

If you start dancing, you’re going to start smiling – no matter how shitty of a mood you’re in. That’s the goal at this community dance party, where everyone is welcome to show up and move in their own way. Get healed with sounds provided by PanSong. | Sunday, Jan. 19, 6 pm. $15. Philadelphia Ethical Society, 1906 Rittenhouse Square.

Eventbrite.com

Hair O’ the Dog

If you’re going to spend any money tonight, it may as well be on tickets to the best event in Philly. Celebrate the roaring ‘20s by partying like the great Gatsby.

Dress to impress and get down to live sets by Laidback Luke, the Deux Twins and DJ N9NE of Q102. | Sunday, Jan. 19, 9 pm. $95. NOTO, 1209 Vine St. Eventbrite.com

Greyson Chance

Remember when this kid went viral for playing “Paparazzi” by Lady Gaga on piano? That little bit of fame has stretched a long way for Chance. Unlike just anyone who’s able to gather millions of views for being dumb, this guy actually has musical talent and actively puts out songs. Check out “Boots,” his newest album. | Monday, Jan. 20, 8 pm. $17. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St. Facebook.com

A Gay Old Time

You can expect to have one at this showcase of local LGBTQ comedians. We don’t know exactly who will be there, but we can assume they’ll be funny.

That’s really all you need to be prepared for a comedy show. | Wednesday, Jan. 22, 8 pm. $16. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. punchlinephilly.com

eventbrite.com

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 16 – 23, 2020

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Sub space Q: I’m a 26-year-old bisexual woman with your self-discovery.” a history of self-harm. It hasn’t been much Dune is known as a “fairy submother” to of an issue for the last few years, but my sex her thousands of followers on Instagram, life has improved a lot in that time. where she regularly posts about the I realized that I am quite submissive D/s lifestyle and frequently highand masochistic, and I have found a lights red flags that newbies to the wonderful Dominant partner who kink scene may miss. (A Dom who I’ve gotten to explore that kink with insists he “doesn’t negotiate” with in a positive and healthy way. subs? Run away.) While still relaLast night, I watched the movie tively young herself, Dune has been “Secretary,” and Maggie Gyllenactive in the kink scene for many haal’s character is someone who years and identifies as a 24/7 lifeself-harms but stops when she style sub. begins a Dom/sub relationship “There’s a difference between with her boss. Obviously this film self-harm and what SCARRED is is flawed and not exactly a great doing with her Dom in a consenguideline for healthy BDSM relasual, rational, measured environtionships. (The power dynamic! The ment with safe words in place,” lack of consent! That weird come said Dune. “And it’s telling that she scene!) However, I did find myself didn’t write in to say, ‘Oh my god, @FAKEDANSAVAGE relating to her character and am I’m using D/s to self-harm!’ Rather, now questioning my motives for she’s worried she might be uninpursuing this kind of sexual relationship. tentionally or unknowingly engaging in some I worry that I may be unintentionally using form of self-harm.” the pain that I lovingly experience from my While the fictional character played by partner as a replacement for the pain I used to Maggie Gyllenhaal stops engaging in acts of experience from my bad habits. Or am I using self-harm after entering into a D/s relationBDSM as a form of ship with the ficharm reduction? Is tional character it rational to even played by James compare these two Spader, SCARRED, things? you don’t want to – Seeking Careful overinterpret that Advice Regarding fictional narrative.

Recent Emotional Meaning, while Discovery the film suggested there was causal “I completerelationship bely get where tween Gyllenhaal’s SCARRED is comcharacter entering ing from,” said into a D/s relationLina Dune, the creator of Ask a Sub (askasub. ship and no longer engaging in acts of selfcom). “You’re discovering your kinks, and harm, that doesn’t mean the same is true for then the culture comes in with a not-entireyou. ly-accurate film or hot take, and it can taint “The culture infantilizes us all when it

DAN SAVAGE

“A person with a fear of being powerless may find it helpful to experiment with powerlessness in small, controlled doses in the context of a structured, negotiated BDSM situation.”

JANUARY 16 - 23, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

SAVAGE LOVE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

comes to owning our sexual desires – and that’s especially the case for women,” said Dune. “The message is: ‘You don’t know what you’re getting into’ or ‘You don’t realize the effect this is having.’ But if there’s one thing SCARRED is an expert on, it’s herself. It’s not like she’s in a trance when she’s with her Dom – no matter what the movies want us to believe about D/s relationships – which means she’s consciously choosing this for herself, and it feels healthy and good. Our bodies don’t usually lie, and I’d be willing to bet that selfharm did not feel that way.”

But even if it turns out you’re right – even if, worst-case scenario, joyful consensual kink in the context of an intimate connection with another person is somehow a replacement for solo acts of self-harm that isolated you – it could still be a good thing.

Dune suggests that you explore your feelings with a kink-positive therapist, and I want to second that. mother” to“From my perspective, nstagram,it looks like SCARRED about themay have been manntly high-ufacturing her own bies to theversion of exposure Dom whotherapy, which some iate” withsomatic-based psycholstill rela-ogists have suggested e has beenis exactly what negotifor manyated, consent-based kink play can provide,” 24/7 life-said Dune. “For example, a person with a fear of being powerless may find it helpful to betweenexperiment with powerlessness in small, conARRED istrolled doses in the context of a structured, a consen-negotiated BDSM situation. Looking a fear in environ-the eye and then being able to back away from in place,”it at will and end with a cuddle and a checkg that shein with your play partner can make you feel h my god,more powerful, not less. So if SCARRED can m!’ Rather,consciously work through this with a therabe unin-pist and her Dom, this BDSM relationship has g in somethe potential to be very healing, just as long as she maintains her autonomy within it.” played by Follow Lina Dune on Twitter and Instain acts of gram @AskASub. s relationh the fic- Q: I’m a 26-year-old straight man, and I hacharacterven’t gotten laid in a while. I never actually y Jamesgot much to begin with. I lost my virginity late SCARRED,(age 23, also my first kiss) and had bottled up t want toquite a bit of frustration until then (still got a pret thatlot of that left over). narrative. I also suffer from crippling social anxiety while– so crippling, in fact, that I can’t even get to suggestedknow people online, which rules out online as causaldating. hip be- I have recently come to the realization that yllenhaal’sthe only way for me to ever get better is to stop enteringwanting to get laid so much. Which. Is. Hard. s relation-The first step is learning to be OK with things ts of self-as they are, which I am making progress with. is true forBut sex is everywhere: TV, movies, magazines.

On the few occasions I do get to spend time when itwith people, sex comes up a lot. People seriously complain to me about not having “gotten

any” for two months, and that’s not enough for them. I’ve heard people describe themselves as “late bloomers” because they had their first time at 17 or 19. I feel like such a freak. I have a male roommate who frequently has women over. I hear them going at it through the wall and get panic attacks because of it.

I need some advice on how to be OK with not getting any, not really having gotten much to begin with, and just generally being nervous and inexperienced and self-conscious and lonely. I know that’s a lot, but perhaps you have some valuable thoughts for me.

– After-School Special Since there’s no way to strip the sex scenes and sexual references from every TV show you watch, magazine you read, or conversation you have, ASS, working on yourself is going to be a far better use of your time than demanding a remade/desexed world.

And by “working on yourself,” of course I mean “getting your ass into therapy.” Whether or not you ever get laid again, getting professional help to address your frustrations and social anxiety is going to improve your life. (It will up the chances that you’ll get laid again, ASS, but no promises.)

And take heart: For every letter like yours I get from a straight guy, ASS, I get an identical letter from a straight woman. Which means there are a lot of women out there who are just as inexperienced, self-conscious, and lonely. Once you’re in good working order – not perfect, just functional – you might be able to connect with one of those women or some other woman. (But no one wants to connect with a guy who gives off a ragey vibe, so please stay away from incel forums.)

And your inexperience makes you less freakish these days than you seem to realize.

While 54 percent of high-school students had had sex by age 18 in 1991, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, today only 41 percent of high-school students have had sex by age 18. Which means there are a lot of “late bloomers” out there, ASS. And while you’ve doubtless heard that confidence is attractive, you most likely haven’t been told that a person doesn’t have to be experienced to be confident.

A guy just has to be comfortable enough in his own skin to be open about who he is, where he’s at, and what he’s looking for.

But first things first: Get yourself a good therapist… and maybe a pair of noise-canceling headphones.

“Whether or not you ever get laid again, getting professional help to address your frustrations and social anxiety is going to improve your life.”

NICE RACK

REACH OUT TO US. Carry PW’s at your spot. drops@philadelphiaweekly.com.

THERE’S ALWAYS MORE OF SAVAGE TO LOVE! Read: PhillyWeekly.com Have a question?: mail@savagelove.net PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 16 - 23, 2020

32

MARKETPLACE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

MERCHANDISE FOR SALE

EMPLOYMENT

NOTICES

Flea Market

General Employment

Legal Notices

AB MALE BLOOD DONORS NEEDED Will be compensated up to $85.00 for a complete donation, starting on their 2nd visit!!

In order to donate you need: Valid picture ID. SSI card Be between 18 & 70 yrs. old.

Be in good health. Walk-ins are welcome. New donors will be paid $40.00 for a full donation.

INTERSTATE BLOOD BANK 1250 N. BROAD STREET. PHILA PA. 19121 215-765-2554

I N D O O R A N T I Q U E & V I N TA G E

Flea Market

Saturday, January 18th 8am - 4pm but Early Birds are welcome!

1301 S. Columbus Blvd., South Phila., Just Off the Columbus Blvd Exit of I-95 Between Washington & Reed

Penns Landing Caterers

BLOOD DONORS All donors paid $40.00 No appointment necessary.

Walk-ins welcome. Must be healthy and have proper I.D. Must provide Social Security card.Interstate Blood Bank 1250-52 N Broad St. Phila PA 19121 215-765-2554 Hrs. 7:00 AM - 3:30 PM

Free Parking / Free Admission / ATM Food Court / Handicap Accessible

Inside The Sheet Metal Workers Union Hall

215-625-FLEA (3532) • www.PhilaFleaMarkets.org

HOME IMPROVEMENT

EMPLOYMENT

Windows

General Employment

Non-CDL Drivers

HAPPY WINDOWS

Shutters, 2-Inch Wood, Pleated Shades, Roman Shades, Drapes, Verticals, Mini-Blinds Discount Price With Installation

Call Eileen

215-465-7525 EMPLOYMENT General Employment

Plumbers/Carpenters/Helpers Immediate openings- must have experience & valid drivers lic 215-342-7200 FLAGGERS ($12.50/hr) Traffic Plan seeks Flaggers to set up and direct traffic around construction sites. A valid PA driver license and clean driving record a must, good pay and benefits. If interested please fill out an application at 510 Hertzog Blvd, King of Prussia, PA on Mondayʼs 9am - 12pm or online at trafficplan.com.

Help Wanted Robotic Software Engineerw/ Augean Robotics in Philadelphia, PA- design, develop, & commercialize robots. Req: master’s degree in Robotics Engineering or rel fld. And one (1) yr exp. in offered pos. or as a software engineer.

Reply to: augeaninc@gmail.com

Wanted

$400

Sign-On Bonus

Paratransit Operations

Immediate Positons Available / Paid Training / Benefit package Match of salary with experience!

Flexible Shifts Available • Safety Bonus Incentives • Great Company Culture Apply in Person Monday through Friday • 9:00am to 3:00pm 4201 Tacony Street, Philadelphia, PA 19124 | 215-992-8000 Apply online:www.philly.totalbusco.com

Assistant Teacher Position CHILDCARE ASSISTANT

We are looking for nurturing and loving caregivers for our infant and toddler classes. Full time and Part time positions are available at ALL of our Alphabet centers.

EXPERIENCE PREFERRED PAY-RATE BASED ON EXPERIENCE AND CREDENTIALS CALL 215-595-2250 EMAIL A RESUME TO AMANDA@ALPHABETACADEMY.COM

GENERAL AND TREATMENT FOSTER PARENTS NEEDED Open your heart and home to children of all ages New Foundations, Inc. 215-203-8733 www.nfi4kids.org NOTICES Legal Notices

Notice of Public Sale The following self-storage Cube contents containing household and other goods will be sold for cash by CubeSmart 501 Callowhill St Philadelphia PA 19123 (215)627-3510 to satisfy a lien on February 3, 2020 at 6 PM at www.storagetreasures.com: Unit 1055 Maurice Hall|FS Jeans Unit 2119 Joseph Bond Unit 2175 Liberty Church Philadelphia INC Unit 4025 Brian R Mildenberg

1340 South 13th Street Phila, PA 19147 LEARN, LOVE, AND GROW WITH US!

Apartments for Rent

Apartments for Rent

Grant Garden Apartments Winter Special, upgraded 1 & 2 BR,1 BA. $750 - $980 includes water. Laundry room on site.

Off of Blvd. 215-464-6411

21ST & PINE AREA- Lg. Studio, wood floors, sep. eat-in kit., $900+cooking gas & elec., heat incl. 215-384-4202

8500 BUSTLETON AVE. Corner of Evart St. Winter Special 1BR $875, 2BR $1,100, water & gas incld. 215-742-2261

2435 S. 9th St. Beau. 3 BR, 1.5 ba, new appls, great loc. $1600/mo+ util. 215-480-4485

JANUARY 16 – 23, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

Houses for Rent

Sell with PW Classifieds classifieds@philadelphiaweekly.com

REAL ESTATE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

Kathy & Patrick Conway

We know real estate.

We know the city.

CHECK OUT A FEW OF OUR GREAT LISTINGS MOST OPEN SATURDAY & SUNDAY 118 Quarry St. – Fabulous Newer Home, 4 Bedrooms + Den, 2.5 Baths with Garden & Garage $949,900 623-25 S. Orianna St. – Giant House, 4 Bedrooms, 3.5 Baths, Garden, 2 Decks, 2 Car Garage $1,049,000 905-07 S. 2nd St. – Beautiful Double Property, 4 Bedrooms, 3.5 Baths, Garden, Deck, 2 Car Garage $1,200,000 112 Christian St. #H – Doesn’t Get Any Better Than This, 4300 Sq. Ft., 2 Car Parking $1,600,000 813 Fitzwater St. – Build Your Dream House Bella Vista Garage with 3 exposures 1600 Sq. Ft $1,050,000 104 Catharine St.– Fabulous Corner Duplex, 2 Car Parking $875,000 921 Christian St. – Great Corner Triplex In Bella Vista $725,000 128 Carpenter St. – Tree Lined Block, 3 Bedrooms, 2 Baths, Deck and Garden $629,900 772 S. Front St. – Great Courtyard Home, 2 Bedrooms, 2 Baths $325,000 717 S. Columbus Blvd. PH#11 Dockside – North Facing Penthouse Views,Views,Views + Balcony $399,000 211 Manton St. – Our Best Buy, 2 Bedrooms + Den and Garden $299,900 1302 S. 2nd St.– Great Newer Home 4 Bedrooms, 3.5 Baths 2800 Sq. Ft. $623,500 311 E. Girard Ave. – Rental – 3 Bedroom + Den, Deck and Garden $2100 947 S. 2nd St. – Rental – Nice Yard, 4 Bedroom, 1.5 Bath $2500 942 South St. – Terrific Rental – 2 Bedroom, 2 Baths $1850 What They Are Saying: “Pat and Kathy were positive, knowledgeable and professional throughout our home selling experience. Their Knowledge of the market helped us set an asking price that we deemed to be reasonable and their experience was invaluable in the negotiation process. I would highly recommend them if buying or selling.”

- Sara Rivas

215.266.1537 215.850.3842 215.627.6005 conwayteam@gmail.com

Anne E. Koons The #1 Agent of the Cherry Hill Home Marketing Center 2018, 2017, 2016, 2014, 2013 & 2012 NJAR Circle of Excellence PLATINUM Award 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2012,GOLD 2014, 2013 Direct 856-795-4709 office 856-428-8000 ext. 142 Website: www.annekoonsrealestate.com Akoonsbhhs@gmail.com

MAIN LINE SUBURBS

33

CENTER CITY PHILA.

ACCREDITED LUXURY HOME SPECIALIST Licensed in NJ & PA

WILLIAM PENN HOUSE 1919 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia • Rittenhouse Square • Rooftop Pool • Fitness Center • Valet parking • 24 hr security

713 WAVERLY ROAD, BRYN MAWR

3900 FORD ROAD, 21S, PHILADELPHIA

• 24 hr Maintenance

4 BED | 2.1 BATH | 3,526 SQ FT | $989,000

2 BED | 1.1 BATH | 1,230 SQ FT | $138,500

• All utilities included • Includes real estate tax no transfer tax

MAIN LINE

SUBURBS

NEW LISTINGS 401 HIDDEN RIVER RD, PENN VALLEY

4 Bed | 2.1 Bath | 3,294 Sq Ft | $549,000

JUST REDUCED 3141 SPRING MILL RD, PLYMOUTH MEETING

4 Bed | 2.1 Bath | 5,029 Sq Ft | $1,199,000

39 FAIRVIEW RD, PENN VALLEY

6 Bed | 5.1 Bath | 6,281 Sq Ft | $999,000

2369 PINEVIEW DR, MALVERN 5 Bed | 3 Bath | 2,666 Sq Ft | $785,000

788 PANORAMA RD, VILLANOVA

4 Bed | 2.1 Bath | 3,185 Sq Ft | $749,500

39 ABERDALE RD, BALA CYNWYD

200 S NARBERTH AVE, NARBERTH UNDER CONTRACT Multi-Family | | 0.29 Acres | $735,000

519 SPRUCE LN, VILLANOVA

3 Bed | 3 Bath | 2,750 Sq Ft | $675,000

Lot | | 0.68 Acres | $665,000

1124 YOUNGSFORD RD, GLADWYNE

5 Bed | 4.3 Bath | 6,144 Sq Ft | $1,325,000

1351 BOBARN DR, PENN VALLEY

5 Bed | 4.1 Bath | 7,547 Sq Ft | $1,099,000

406 BRYN MAWR AVE, BALA CYNWYD

6 Bed | 2.1 Bath | 3,035 Sq Ft | $899,999

1417 CENTENNIAL RD, PENN VALLEY

5 Bed | 3.1 Bath | 4,371 Sq Ft | $849,900

421 OLD GULPH RD, PENN VALLEY

4 Bed | 2.2 Bath | 3,197 Sq Ft | $799,000

JUST REDUCED

207 LINDY LN, BALA CYNWYD

4802 RENOIR LN, SCHWENKSVILLE

5 Bed | 4.1 Bath | 4258 Sq Ft | $549,000 1305 SUMMER HILL LN, GLADWYNE Lot | | 0.5 Acres | $150,000

Unit #2720 2 BED | 1 BATH | 1,134 SQ FT | $465,000 Unit #814 2 BED | 1 BATH | 825 SQ FT | $350,000

3598 INDIAN QUEEN LN, PHILADELPHIA

Unit #1914 1 BED | 1 BATH | 495 SQ FT | $320,000

4 Bed | 1 Bath | 1,776 Sq Ft | $220,00

Unit #510 1 BED | 1 BATH | 825 SQ FT | $310,000

2504 S AMERICAN ST, PHILADELPHIA 2 Bed | 2 Bath | 990 Sq Ft | $269,900

LISTINGS 3 BED | 3.1 BATH | 2,000 SQ FT | $490,400

THE KENNEDY HOUSE 1901 JFK Blvd, Philadelphia • Rittenhouse Square • Rooftop Pool • Fitness Center • Parking

809 LATONA ST, PHILADELPHIA

• 24 HR Security

3 BED | 1 BATH | 1,288 SQ FT | $299,000

• 24 HR Maintenance

224-30 W RITTENHOUSE SQ, #1017, PHILADELPHIA 1 BED | 1 BATH | 570 SQ FT | $275,000

MAIN LINE CONDOS

Unit #923/924 3 BED | 2 BATH | 1,581 SQ FT | $499,000

3 Bed | 2.1 Bath | 1,455 Sq Ft | $475,000

500 KINGSLEY CT, PHILADELPHIA 4 Bed | 4.1 Bath | 5,393 Sq Ft | $569,000

Unit #2904 3 BED | 2 BATH | 1,404 SQ FT | $750,000

2224 CARPENTER ST, PHILADELPHIA

6 Bed | 3.2 Bath | 3,750 Sq Ft | $749,500

424 DEVEREUX DR, VILLANOVA

LISTINGS

PHILADELPHIA

• All Utilities Included • Includes Real Estate Tax

#1024-1025 2 BED | 2 BATH | 1,165 SQ FT | $475,000

1141 DALY ST, PHILADELPHIA

Unit #1919 1 BED | 1 BATH | 606 SQ FT | $219,000

3 BED | 1.1 BATH | 1,100 SQ FT | $265,000

Unit#1819 1 BED | 1 BATH | 606 SQ FT | $199,000 UNDER CONTRACT

1750 OAKWOOD TER, UNIT#1A, PENN VALLEY

3900 FORD RD, #23B, PHILADELPHIA

Unit #1512 STUDIO | 1 BATH | 475 SQ FT | $175,000

2 BED | 2 BATH | 1,299 SQ FT | $227,000

2 BED | 3 BATH | 2,000 SQ FT | $199,900

Unit#2911 STUDIO | 1 BATH | 522 SQ FT | $174,900

190 PRESIDENTIAL BLVD, #415, BALA CYNWYD 2 BED | 2.1 BATH | 1,970 SQ FT | $625,000

NEW PRICE

NEW PRICE Marlton/ Preserve at Little Mill Gorgeous custom 3-bedroom, 2.5 bath home backing to Preserve at Little Mill golf course with a 1st floor master suite, 1st floor study, 2 car garage & full unfinished basement.

The large foyer has cathedral ceilings & ceramic floors. Living room has 12-foot ceilings, custom built entertainment center & gas fireplace. Large eat-in kitchen with French sliding patio doors to back deck & views of the golf course. $479,900.

Cherry Hill Contemporary 4 bedroom, 2.2 bath home with 2 car garage and in-ground pool. 2 story foyer w/ rounded staircase, living room with fireplace, full bar, large eat in Kitchen. Master bedroom suite has a luxurious bath and plenty of closet space. Full finished basement. Great outside for entertaining. Freshly painted throughout $514,900

PW REAL ESTATE To advertise in this section contact Sales 215-543-3743 ext. 104 or sales@philadelphiaweekly.com PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 16 – 23, 2020

34

REAL ESTATE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

1230 Alter Street | Open Saturday 12 - 1:30 This new construction home has everything from 3 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms, a roof deck, and 1-car parking! Enter through the front door or garage and step into your bonus space. Head upstairs to the modern kitchen with white shaker cabinets, stainless steel appliances, quartz counters, drop down stainless steel pendants, and glass mosaic tile backsplash. The open floor plan flows right into the dining room and living area.

$649,000

New Listing | 1030 Cantrell Street Open Saturday 12 - 2 Large and sun-drenched, 2-story house on a small street. Some original charm remain, but modernized in all the right places.

Enter into a large and open living space brightened by original leaded glass sidelights, and continue through to the extra sitting area and dining room with modern engineered wood flooring. A lovely updated kitchen with island is perfect for all of your culinary experimenting and entertaining. 2 BR | 3.5 BA

$299,000

New Listing | Fairmount The classic brick facade with custom iron window boxes welcomes you into a bright foyer that gracefully opens into the main living space, where you will immediately be taken by its spacious warmth and livability. Bright and spacious, this tastefully renovated home features rich cherry hardwood floors, gorgeous crown moldings, and an exposed brick wall. This home comes complete with an entire additional parcel of land that is used as a large, private outdoor space. 3 BR +Den | 2.5 BA

$575,000

New Listing | Art Museum / Fairmount This comfortable studio unit in an Art Deco Building features a small but well-organized floor plan with parquet hardwood floors, a new kitchen, and great storage space. Building features include: 24-hour concierge-staff, pet-friendly, shuttle bus service to and from Center City, a state-of-the-art fitness facility, a yoga studio, dry cleaner, a bike storage room, a convenience store, a BYOB restaurant, and a spacious community room.

$129,900

1412 N Corlies Street | Open Sunday 11 - 1 Beautiful 3 BR, 1 BA home tucked away on a quiet and peaceful block. This home is extremely well-taken care of. The 1st floor of this home has an open floor plan with beautiful hardwood floors and charming original detail balance with a modern kitchen with stainless steel appliances. Enjoy the back patio for outdoor dining and relaxing.

$239,900 or $1,700/Month Packer Park

Welcome to this modern and spacious condominium in The Villas, a beautifully maintained community in the Packer Park neighborhood. Enter through the front door or garage to a wide stairway leading up to 2nd and 3rd story living. This modern and spacious home is distinguished by a spectacular 3rd floor loft overlooking the enormous living room, a comforting space that fills with light from two stories of grand cathedral style windows. Enjoy the convenience of two parking spots with a garage and a private driveway.

$350,000

PW REAL ESTATE To advertise in this section contact Sales

215-543-3743 ext. 104 or sales@philadelphiaweekly.com

JANUARY 16 – 23, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

REAL ESTATE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

35

Anne E. Koons

ACCREDITED LUXURY HOME SPECIALIST Licensed in NJ & PA

The #1 Agent of the Cherry Hill Home Marketing Center 2018, 2017, 2016, 2014, 2013 & 2012 NJAR Circle of Excellence PLATINUM Award 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2012,GOLD 2014, 2013

Direct 856-795-4709 office 856-428-8000 ext. 142

Cherry Hill/ Woodcrest This amazing architecturally designed home has 6 Bedrooms, 4 full baths, 2 half baths, walk-out finished basement & a 3-car garage that is nestled on an acre of property that backs to Woodcrest Golf course. Over 5,700sq ft w/an open spacious floor plan that is on secluded lot located in a great neighborhood with top rated schools and conveniently located near all major highways. $599,900 .

Moorestown An amazing, truly unique 4 bedroom, 5 ½ bath home with gourmet kitchen, full finished walk out basement, 2 car garage w/home theater on 2nd level, a tennis-basketball court, built-in pool w/slide, hot-tub & waterfalls and a covered outdoor kitchen & bar which is nestled on a resort like professionally landscaped 2 acre property. $1,274,900

Marlton/ Little Mill 5 bedroom 5.5 bath home with open first-floor interior floor plan features custom finished hardwood floors, high end moldings throughout entire home, a newly renovated kitchen with granite counter tops, stainless-steel appliances with custom built panels and large center island. The second floor boasts 4 large bedrooms all with newer full baths with granite or marble countertops. Fantastic full finished walk out lower level has custom built entertainment center, full bath, gym room, possible additional bedroom. This home has a newer roof, newer three zone heat and air, newer hardwood floors, carpeting and updated light fixtures throughout. $899,900

Haddonfield This 4 bedroom 4.5 bath home located on one of most desirable streets and offers a cul de sac location, 4 car garage, home theater, screened in porch, hardwood floors throughout a park like setting and completely private rear yard.

Enter this one of a kind home through a stunning 2 story foyer complete with custom molding and woodwork to find a completely renovated home with over 5,000 sq. Ft. of living space $1,399,999

New Price Cherry Hill/ Wilderness Run Beautifully updated 4 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, 3 car garage home that flows seamlessly from one room to the next, it's elegant, bright and spacious. Designer kitchen, with professional appliances. The master bedroom suite has a wonder-fully updated bath w/a free standing tub, glass enclosed shower w/decorative tiles, floating double vanities with marble tops and make up area, there are 3 walk in closets and patio doors to a private balcony. $625,000.

Marlton Impeccable end unit town house is located in the sought after Kings Grant section of Marlton. Pride of ownership abounds throughout this bright & light, open & airy home. This is a rare find; boasting both a large finished basement with ample storage space & an attached garage.

264,900

Voorhees/Sturbridge Woods Updated 4-bedroom, 3.5 bath, 2 car garages, finished basement, located on a private cult-de-sac in a desirable neighborhood.. The updated kitchen has center island breakfast bar w/5 burner stove & granite tops. There is a 1st fl office, Dining rm w/ butler’s pantry, Living rm, & cozy family rm w/gas FP. large master BR has a huge WIC, office, 2-sided FP & updated master bath. 3 add’l BR’s & Hall bath on 2nd fl. The BM has a media room, full bath, bonus rm & exercise rm. $599,900.

Clarksboro/Village At Whiskey Mill A 3 Bedroom 2.5 Bath, 1 car garage, w/3 levels of living space located in a quiet development. The first floor has a garage, family Rm and access to back yard. The main level you will find a large kitchen and dining area with sliding glass doors to deck. The 3 level has a master BR with private bath, large WIC and 2 additional bedrooms with hall bath and Laundry. $254,900

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO STEVEN, NICOLE & JOSH………...

Now more than ever, EXPERIENCE counts, that is why you need to call our AUNT ANNE, because she has the

EXPERIENCE, COMMITMENT, PASSION & KNOWLEDGE to help you in selling or buying a home.

CALL OUR AUNT ANNE TODAY FOR ALL OF YOUR REAL ESTATE NEEDS 856 -795-4709

PW REAL ESTATE To advertise in this section contact Sales

215-543-3743 ext. 104 or sales@philadelphiaweekly.com

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | JANUARY 16 – 23, 2020

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