Philadelphia Weekly 3-14-2018

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM

FEATURE

SMASH SOMETHING

Need to let off some steam? Let the folks at Philly’s Thunderbird Salvage help.

SEE PAGE 10

TIVE PHILLY’S NEWS ALTERNA

MARCH 14 - 21, 2018

NEWS

CALENDAR

Turnout numbers be damned, upstart Democrats continue strong push for committee seats.

SEE PAGE 8

Performances on the stage and screen highlight our weekly rundown.

SEE PAGE 15

DONKEY PUNCH

WATCH THIS!

OPERATION: FALL GUY Con artists exploiting desperate drug addicts in a fraudulent check cashing scheme?

It’s a scene playing out here in Philadelphia SEE PAGE 12

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*XDUDQWHHG IRU 'D\V More and more, homes like these are popping up and changing Philadelphiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s skyline. But do you think this design is for the better or worse?

Follow us on Twitter @PhillyWeekly and cast your vote via our weekly interactive poll.

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Connect with us: @PhillyWeekly EDITORIAL Kerith Gabriel, Editor kgabriel@philadelphiaweekly.com Max Marin, Staff Writer, mmarin@phillyweekly.com Tim Ronaldson, Editor-in-chief , Newspaper Media Group tronaldson@newspapermediagroup.com CONTRIBUTORS: A.D. Amorosi, Swabreen Bakr, Kriston Bethel, Jared Brey, Andrea Cantor, Gregory Dale, Sarah Rose Etter, Scott Himelein, Hayden Mitman, Andrea Monzo, Timaree Schmit, Alex Vuocolo, Daniel Barnes, Anne Johnson, Dan Savage, Logan Gardner, Sabrina Vourvoulias

state city Photo of the Week

BUSINESS Perry Corsetti, COO, pcorsetti@bsmphilly.com Deidre Simms, Director of Major Accounts, deidre@phillyweekly.com

So long as we live, Lord, let us never grow tired of Super Bowl LII stories.

CIRCULATION/DISTRIBUTION Pearl Harta, 215-354-3146 pharta@bsmphilly.com PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY 2 Executive Campus, Cherry Hill, N.J. 08002 Phone: 215-563-7400 Classified: 215-354-3054

OVERHEARD

Tweet of the week:

in PHILLY â&#x20AC;&#x153;I truly think these weather people sit at home and masturbate to snow storms. I think an impending Norâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Easter to them is like girl on girl porn to the rest of us.â&#x20AC;?

â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Dive bar conversation over the weekend in Pennsport between two dudes enjoying pints and making a mockery of NBC10s coverage of Tuesdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s third storm in as many weeks.

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For a mayor who dresses up as an elf once a year, this doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really make headlines. But we uniformly support sprucing up boring press conferences with mascots and/or cardboard cutouts of professional wrestlers.

Free trees, yâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;all

PHOTO: KAIT PRIVITERA/CITY OF PHILADELPHIA

Yo, Philly! Not all of our houses are equipped to support junipers and spruces â&#x20AC;&#x201C; but if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re pining for a tree to plant at home, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in luck this spring. Now through April 8, the Department of Parks and Recreation is back with its TreePhilly program to help your sapling dreams come true. There are multiple giveaways scheduled over the next two months. Get all the info you need and register for your free green giant at treephilly.org.

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#MeToo takes Harrisburg

The Philadelphia Clef Club of Jazz and Performing Arts 736â&#x20AC;&#x201C;38 S. Broad Street | Philadelphia, PA 19146 215-893-9912 | Info@clefclubofjazz .org | www.clefclubofjazz.org

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a helluva unprecedented scandal. State Rep. Tarah Toohil of Luzerne County has obtained a restraining order against fellow Republican lawmaker, State Rep. Nick Miccarelli of Delaware County, on the grounds that Miccarelli brandished a gun and threatened to kill them both when the couple dated back in 2012. Miccarelli called all of the claims â&#x20AC;&#x153;lies.â&#x20AC;? For now, however, the protection-from-abuse order mandate that Miccarelli be â&#x20AC;&#x153;evicted or excludedâ&#x20AC;? from any place his accuser works. In this case, they work in the same building. Butâ&#x20AC;Ś

OH, SHUT UP!

â&#x20AC;&#x153;He will not willingly submit to the â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Jerry Springerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

environment his accusers wish to create in Harrisburgâ&#x20AC;?

- So said Miccarelli said through a spokesman when questioned about whether he would return to work, according to the Inquirer. Obviously, Miccarelli canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t allege political vendetta as the both accuser and accused share the same party. But while he gets his story straight, our two cents: Denigrating the #MeToo movement â&#x20AC;&#x201C; which Toohil cited as reason to go public with her story â&#x20AC;&#x201C; as a tabloid sideshow maybe isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the smartest PR strategy right now.

81% 1,020

Rise in opioid overdose-related The number of unsheltered individuals emergency room visits in Pennsylvania living on the streets of Philadelphia, between 2016 and 2017 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the third according to an annual count largest increase in the U.S., according conducted in January. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an increase to new data released by the Centers for from 930 the year prior, which city Disease Control and Prevention. officials credit to the opioid epidemic.

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APRIL 6

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FEATURE

IMAGE: ROB CARDILLO FOR PHS

While the flowers make it quite a sight to behold, some of the clientele that attend the annual Philadelphia Flower Show really arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t that glamorous.

Thorns and roses Looking at the good, bad and ugly of the Philadelphia Flower Show

BY ANDREA CANTOR

W

alking into the Philadelphia Flower Show on opening day, I was ďŹ rst struck by the grandeur of Philadelphia Horticultural Societyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Rainforestâ&#x20AC;? exhibit.

However, nearing the vines and tropical ďŹ&#x201A;ower arrangements, hoping to catch a sniff of living art, I was hit with the rancid smell of B.O. instead; and let me tell you, it didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t smell anything like ďŹ&#x201A;owers.

Even though the show was in the midst of two snow storms, PHS reported approximately 250,000 visitors came to the Convention Center to see the intricate ďŹ&#x201A;oral displays.

If you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t believe those numbers then you deďŹ nitely did not go to the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Wonders of Wa-

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terâ&#x20AC;? Flower Show from March 3-11. With jam-packed crowds and people clamoring to see ďŹ&#x201A;owers â&#x20AC;&#x201C; yes, ďŹ&#x201A;owers â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the show felt more like a sporting event than a horticultural expo.

If there was any solace to the tight quarters at the nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s largest show dedicated to all things ďŹ&#x201A;oral, it was the high-leveled interest from all age demographics. Even Millennials came out in strides, making me â&#x20AC;&#x201D; a Millennial who was born in the wrong generation â&#x20AC;&#x201D; question, â&#x20AC;&#x153;wait, are ďŹ&#x201A;owers cool now?â&#x20AC;?

What I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t too rosy keen on â&#x20AC;&#x201D; yep, I do plan to keep it coming with those ďŹ&#x201A;ower puns â&#x20AC;&#x201D; was the number of pseudo-photographers on their iPhones and get this, it wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the Millennials as the main transgressors this time. I even overheard a group in their late 20s or early 30s complaining about the excess

of snaps.

No, the main culprits, this time anyway, were older participants. Feeling like a WhacA-Mole, I dodged cameras shooting past my face at each display.

Never mind that most of those pixelated images of every leaf, stem, and petal would soon be lost in the camera roll shufďŹ&#x201A;e, the show was already being televised, had plenty of professional photos for public viewing, and scheduled photography tours. Having to take a few photos myself for this story, the only ones who had a pass in my book were those who wanted to identify certain plants at home.

Back in the day, my father took my grandmother to the Flower Show nearly every year.

Price of admission? Just $5. He would say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;It was expensive, but worth it,â&#x20AC;? to have a

relaxing day and see the ďŹ&#x201A;owers. Now, the cost for the hustle-and-bustle runs $40 for a weekend ticket, and thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not taking in the rest of the costs from the dayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s commercialization.

With vendors galore, the displays were overshadowed by the markets selling everything from ďŹ&#x201A;owers and bulbs to handbags â&#x20AC;&#x201C; to dog food. But while it is one thing to shop at the PHS Flower Show Store and support small business vendors, especially those that help the everyday gardener, it is quite another to go to the big corporate stands that minimize the dayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s specialness.

I mean, who goes to the Flower Show, and purchases a bouquet from Acme? Because, if you wanted one you had one.

It didn't stop there. Visitors could purchase food and drink at jacked-up prices or pay $30 per person for the Garden Tea. For added entertainments, the kids or kids at heart could throw down another $10 to make small trinkets like ďŹ&#x201A;ower crowns. But maybe you just want to sit down and listen to an author speak â&#x20AC;&#x201D; of course with signed books available for purchase.

While I started to see the price of admission as just an entryway to purchase more stuff, I remembered the displays.

Make no mistake, the exhibits at Flower Show are breathtaking. One of the highlights was a collaboration with artist Ryan Beck and Mural Arts Philadelphia. Beck, along with ďŹ&#x201A;oral design company Schaffer Designs, created an impressive modern structure with spirals of ďŹ&#x201A;owers ďŹ&#x201A;owing out from white walls splashed with watercolors.

Others notable exhibits ran with the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Wonders of Waterâ&#x20AC;? theme by focusing on the global water epidemic. Displays showcased Flint, Michigan to the Arctic, the desert to the sea. Unfortunately, the displays of countries and places were cut up by other pieces, creating a disjointed atmosphere that could have made a bigger impact on the water crisis and shared global commons.

But to its credit, the Flower Show did host the ďŹ rst Philadelphia Water Summit where experts discussed water issues and realities here on Earth and the joy of ďŹ nding it in Space â&#x20AC;&#x201C; for $100 a ticket.

As I gathered provided information on the designs behind each display, I realized some didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even have a word on the design and were rather about the companies, particularly landscaping companies, trying to market themselves. Even one of the gardens had the sponsor Subaru cars in it. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Come on!â&#x20AC;?

But while much of the show was a fake as a plastic plant, through the thicket of overcommodiďŹ ed stands and pandering displays were the small designs by ďŹ&#x201A;ower artists and enthusiasts as well as garden clubs with hopes of recognition and possibly a blue ribbon. Q TWITTER: @ANDREAJCANTOR

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WEDNESDAY, MARCH 21ST 7:30PM ENTER TO WIN (1) ADMIT TWO PASS FOR YOU AND A GUEST AT WWW.PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM/ CONTESTS This ďŹ lm is rated PG-13 for some teen partying and sensuality Please note: Passes are limited and will be distributed on a ďŹ rst come, ďŹ rst served basis while supplies last. No phone calls, please. Limit one pass per person.

Each pass admits two. Seating is not guaranteed. Arrive early. Theater is not responsible for overbooking. This screening will be monitored for unauthorized recording. By attending, you agree not to bring any audio or video recording device into the theater (audio recording devices for credentialed press excepted) and consent to a physical search of your belongings and person. Any attempted use of recording devices will result in immediate removal from the theater, forfeiture, and may subject you to criminal and civil liability. Please allow additional time for heightened security. You can assist us by leaving all nonessential bags at home or in your vehicle

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It doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t matter if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a Republican or Democrat, a snowflake or a deplorable: neither side is safe from the group that puts the â&#x20AC;&#x153;MOCKâ&#x20AC;? in Democracy!

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NEWS

The nitty-gritty City Committee

IMAGE COURTESY: MARIA S. YOUNG

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hardly a takeover, but some neighborhoods are seeing an upswing of enthusiastic candidates for Democratic Party posts

BY JARED BREY

I

t was the day the wave was supposed to crest.

For the last year and a half, grassroots political organizations in Philadelphia have been trying to channel the Trump-era fear and confusion among the cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Democratic voter base into a groundswell of engagement at the lowest political level. SpeciďŹ cally: the Democratic City Committee, the foundational rung of the Democratic Party in Philadelphia.

The upcoming May election brings a chance to vote in new committee people â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the foot soldiers of the Democratic Party who are responsible for turning out voters in their divisions.

But come deadline to ďŹ le nominating petitions for the upcoming primary, the hoped-for surge didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t materialize. Last week, City Commissioner Al Schmidt published preliminary ďŹ gures showing the number of petitions for Democratic C1ommittee seats had only increased by a paltry ďŹ ve compared to 2014 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 3,267 petitions up from 3,262. Hardly a blip on a citywide scale.

Still, hope is not entirely lost.

Some areas did see an uptick in nominating petitions for Democratic committee posts. In South Philadelphiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 39th Ward, 121 Democratic candidates ďŹ led petitions to get on the committee ballot, up from 88 in 2014, according to Schmidtâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ofďŹ ce. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an increase of nearly 40 percent, the fourth-biggest increase in a single ward. The 39th Ward in the southeastern-most part of the city makes up half of the 184th District, where a competitive election for state representative is starting to heat up. And a new group called Grassroots Advocacy for South Philadelphia is hoping to build a more participatory Democratic Party from the ground up. â&#x20AC;&#x153;My own division went for Trump by 10 votes,â&#x20AC;? says Karen DiLossi, her voice still heavy with dismay a year and a half

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IMAGE: OFFICE OF PHILADELPHIA CITY COMMISSIONER

later.

Like other Democratic voters in Philadelphia, DiLossi, who lives near 12th and Ritner streets in the 39th Ward, was stunned by the outcome of the 2016 presidential election. She started looking around for ways to get more involved in politics â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and in her neighborhood. About ďŹ ve months ago, she decided to run for ofďŹ ce as a Democratic City Committeewoman, which would make her responsible for voter turnout in the handful of blocks around her house â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and give her a measure of inďŹ&#x201A;uence on who the party endorses.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have a very active committee person now,â&#x20AC;?

DiLossi says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve never knocked on my door or helped me try to get out the vote or asked if Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m registered or anything. So I thought that now was the time.â&#x20AC;?

DiLossi is among a small band of ďŹ rst-time candidates running for Democratic City Committee seats who are loosely afďŹ liated with GrASP. The group has hosted petition-signing parties for committee candidates, and endorsed Elizabeth Fiedler, a former reporter for WHYY, in the 184th District race.

(Fiedler is facing at least four opponents in the race after the 25-year-incumbent, Bill Keller, announced he wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seek re-election.)

This week, GrASP is hosting a meet-and-greet for nearly a dozen prospective candidates in the newly re-mapped 3rd and 5th congressional districts. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It makes sense for members of GrASP to run for committee, because itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s kind of the task at hand,â&#x20AC;? says Steph Davis, a Democratic Committee candidate who lives near 4th and Winton streets in South Philly. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The basic responsibilities are to register neighbors to vote.â&#x20AC;?

Davis says she was introduced to other people who eventually formed GrASP at an event called â&#x20AC;&#x153;Get Mad, Then Get Elected,â&#x20AC;? which was co-hosted by Philadelphia 3.0. She says she became convinced a more active city committee could help develop better candidates for higher ofďŹ ces, and drive up voter turnout.

In fact, says Jon Geeting, the director of engagement for political group Philadelphia 3.0, low voter turnout in previous elections is all the evidence anyone should need that the Democratic City Committee hasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t been doing its job. (Full disclosure: Geeting and I used to work together at PlanPhilly.)

Geetingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s group has also been leading the call to recruit new, progressive-minded committee people. In the last year and a half, Philadel-

phia 3.0 has held informational events for prospective candidates, published FAQs about the ward system, and released maps showing division-level results for committee races in previous elections â&#x20AC;&#x201C; many of which were decided by a handful of votes.

The group has also been highly critical of the insidersonly party structure. Rather than registering new voters, he says, the committee has focused on inďŹ&#x201A;uencing voters who do show up to the polls to support the Democratic Partyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favored candidates. â&#x20AC;&#x153;They have this whole perfectly elegant grassroots structure,â&#x20AC;? Geeting says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Every [committee person] is responsible for a totally manageable number of voters, and then it all adds up to everybody collectively being responsible. It can touch every single household if everybody does what they're supposed to do. But they kind of haven't been doing what they're supposed to do.â&#x20AC;?

Dana Pavlichko, who lives near Camac and Tasker, says sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always been a get-outthe-vote booster, and her campaign for a committee seat will be a good platform for those efforts. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I think a lot of the disillusionment with voting in these elections in the past is that people arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t quite as excited about the candidates,â&#x20AC;? Pavlichko says.

DiLossi, Davis, and Pavlichko â&#x20AC;&#x201C; ages 41, 31, and 30, respectively â&#x20AC;&#x201C; say their conversations with residents have been focused on blockby-block issues: Trash, street lights, construction frustrations, street trees and, obviously, parking. But all three say that for the most part, their neighbors have been happy to meet and talk with someone whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s running for ofďŹ ce. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a great time to identify who wants to get involved and how we can really empower people to be political leaders,â&#x20AC;? says Davis. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Even if itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just on the neighborhood level.â&#x20AC;? Q TWITTER: @JAREDBREY

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SPORTS

The final four

As March Madness looms, know that Philly sports media lost a few college basketball minds

BY KERITH GABRIEL

I

f youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re an old school college hoops fan from Philadelphia, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve without question done one â&#x20AC;&#x201C; or all â&#x20AC;&#x201C; of the following: Still confuse Fran Dunphy as coach of Penn and not Temple, because you still have John Chaney in your mind screaming from the sidelines. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve deďŹ nitely used the lackadaisical ushering at the Palestra to sneak a lower level seat at a Big 5 game and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve picked up a copy of the Daily News the day after Selection Sunday to get local perspective on the 64 teams taking part in March Madness.

The latter for many still remains a must cop to understand why exactly thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a very good chance your hunch of that No. 15 seed knocking off the No. 2 isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t as crazy as you think. In fact, there were times where names like Dick Jerardi and Mike Kern would almost guarantee it. But with the change of a new year, comes the new look of the Daily Newsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; savvy March Madness preview to a combined version that served the efforts of the DNâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s parent paper, and the cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s paper of record, The Inquirer.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a much different look with longtime Inquirer writers like Joe Juliano, Mike Jensen both dedicated basketball guys and Marc Narducci â&#x20AC;&#x201C; whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s essentially the Inkyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Jack of All Trades â&#x20AC;&#x201C; spearheading much of the copy alongside Jensen and fellow columnist Bob Ford. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s still a DN inďŹ&#x201A;uence with John Smallwood and Ed Barkowitz providing insight into the breakdown of the tournament teams and Jerardi, who said farewell to the DN late last year, made a cameo calling out the NCAAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s selection committee on going about picking seeds and whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in â&#x20AC;&#x201C; or out â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the same old, same old way.

Honestly, it was all good stuff, really. It just felt different.

See, what you may not realize is that, like Jerardi, the dwindling Daily News, arguably the true voice of our gritty city (full disclosure: this writer worked in the DNâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sports department for seven years) has seen its most dedicated sports writers put down the pen after a longtime career. Add Kern, who covered Temple and Villanova almost exclusively during college basketball season alongside Drew McQuade, who led the sports copy desk for many years, and Bob Vetrone, better known as â&#x20AC;&#x153;Boop,â&#x20AC;? who ended a sort of Philadelphia sports media dynasty when he left his post as the Daily Newsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; chief sports statistician and

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agate aďŹ cionado last December. â&#x20AC;&#x153;You go back to the mid 1990s, when [the Daily News] lost [football writer] Ray Didinger and Stan [Hochman] goes down to part-time and then hangs it up. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been losing the heart and soul of our department over the course of many years now and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sad,â&#x20AC;? Vetrone said in a recent sitdown with PW on the eve of his departure. Vetrone, who is the son of a Philadelphia sportswriting Hall of Famer of the same name, was the last piece of a sports journalism legacy in this town. The work of Vetrone Sr. spanned many topics, but it was his knowledge of college basketball that made him one of the cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s top columnists. Boop followed his fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s footsteps in a different route, manning the DNâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sports department sans byline, as his love affair with numbers and stats, took precedence over story writing. He grew his name working as the DNâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s top sports agate guy in addition to his personal BoopStats.com blog, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s his many years behind the desk seeing the transition become the hybrid it now is today. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Look, I know I was an integral part of the department, but the loss of Kern and Jerardi is about as tough a hit as weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had,â&#x20AC;?

Vetrone continued. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Compound that with the loss of guys like [former Phillies beat writer] Ryan Lawrence, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tough. Now, if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re reading the paper, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tough to decipher the Daily News voice in the sports section. Unless youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re reading the Eagles and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re looking for [beat writer] Les Bowen or [columnist] Paul Domowitch, you have to think twice about who the Daily News person is and who isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t, and thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sad.â&#x20AC;?

Even the layout of this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s March Madness guide is different. In past years, the Daily Newsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; was normally distributed in an easily digestible tabloid style. This marked the second year itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been switched to Inquirer broadsheet.

Again, if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re someone who gets all your sports news and information from the swipe of a smartphone app, then all of this sounds like a quadratic equation to you. You have no use for Jerardi and Kern when Joe Lunardi and Seth Davis will do. But for those of us who looked forward to Mondays after Selection Sunday for insight from Daily News college basketball writers and statisticians, know the heart and soul of it is still there.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just different. Q

Featuring MUGAMBI JOUET

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FEATURE

IMAGE COURTESY: CHARLES SHAN CERRONE

Feeling like you need to smash something? The folks at Phillyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Thunderbird Salvage offer an opportunity later this month with the first ever â&#x20AC;&#x153;Rage Cage.â&#x20AC;?

Give me something to break Thunderbird Salvage offers opportunity to smash some shit in the name of rage SARAH ROSE ETTER

P

hiladelphia is no stranger to rage.

Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re known to ďŹ&#x201A;y into ďŹ ts over everything from a shitty call from a referee to a bad breakup. In 2016, we topped Thrillistâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lists of angriest cities in America â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and we were mad about that too, but also proud.

This isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just a statistic or vanity poll. Just last week, I watched a man outside of my window punch the hood of his own car repeatedly while screaming at the top of his lungs about a parking ticket.

The word â&#x20AC;&#x153;rageâ&#x20AC;? itself has had a long and

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interesting life. In the 1300s, the Old French word â&#x20AC;&#x153;raigeâ&#x20AC;? implied spirit, passion, madness, fury. In fact, there is evidence of the word being used in the 1100s as a Medieval Latin word (â&#x20AC;&#x153;rabiaâ&#x20AC;?), then becoming the Latin word â&#x20AC;&#x153;rabiesâ&#x20AC;? before it evolved into rage decades later.

So rage is not unique to Philadelphia. To rage is to be human. It began with grunts and angry gestures, but even early on, we were putting words to that feeling of wanting to smash something, of being violently angry.

In fact, despite an overall decrease in the crime rate across America, one might argue that as a society weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re getting madder. Maybe itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all the time in front of screens, maybe itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a recent breakup, maybe itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s feeling like itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s harder and harder to pay the bills. Blame it on the latest election or the ofďŹ ce job that might inspire someone to want to go OfďŹ ce Space on a printer, but weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a little more on edge than weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been in the past.

If you need proof, look no further than the Rage Rooms popping up all over Amer-

ica and beyond. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not familiar with Rage Rooms, a quick primer: For a fee, a Rage Room goer can spend 15 or 30 minutes smashing appliances with the weapon of their choice, typically to music of their choice.

In Toronto, a rage room at Battle Sports allows customers to smash objects with sledgehammers â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and goes through roughly 15 printers per week so visitors can reenact the scene in OfďŹ ce Space, according to The New Yorker.

In Dallas, the Anger Room sees a similar phenomenon, according to The Wall Street Journal. While the Anger Room allows you to choose dishes or old furniture, the printer is still everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s object of choice. In addition, the Dallas Anger Room offers up mannequins of Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump to smash â&#x20AC;&#x201C; adding a way to release some of that pentup political tension.

Philadelphia seems ripe for a Rage Room.

In a recent Philadelphia Magazine poll, 96.37 percent of the city said they would pay to â&#x20AC;&#x153;smash stuff to smithereens.â&#x20AC;? And now â&#x20AC;&#x201C;

ďŹ nally â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Philadelphians will get their chance.

On March 30, Thunderbird Salvage (1431 N. 9th St.) will offer up Philadelphiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Rage Cage starting at 7pm. Thunderbird will offer the safety helmets, goggles and smashables â&#x20AC;&#x201C; you only need to show up pissed off. â&#x20AC;&#x153;As far as inspiration, I guess we've always bounced around the idea of a rage room,â&#x20AC;? said Stephanie Irwin, an organizer of the event. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We salvage and demo [at Thunderbird Salvage], and it really can be so much fun to break and rip things apart.â&#x20AC;?

Customers will have the chance to buy ďŹ ve to 20 minutes of time smashing objects of their choice, including a range of items and a â&#x20AC;&#x153;Smashablesâ&#x20AC;? basket. Visitors can also feel free to bring their own stuff to smash. Even better, you can choose your own weapon from sledgehammers, baseball bats, golf clubs, metal pipes, axes, table legs, and crowbars among other options. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I think if the average person was given the opportunity to smash stuff maybe they could get out some anger or emotions they are holding in,â&#x20AC;? Irwin says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;And honestly, overall, the reception to this has been very positive â&#x20AC;&#x201C; a lot of questions and intrigue.â&#x20AC;?

Irwin says customers can expect TVs, broken statues, printers, broken appliances and other random bits of furniture to smash. So where does this stuff even come from? The good news is that it is largely junk that would end up in the trash otherwise â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and ďŹ nds a second life in demolition. â&#x20AC;&#x153;When we salvage things, not everything is in best condition or works. We get endless, unquantiďŹ able amounts of stuff. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mostly through cleanouts, storage units and people dying. We process things on location and then back at the warehouse. We sell, donate, trash, scrap and now maybe weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll smash it.â&#x20AC;?

In addition, Thunderbird Salvage is offering a Couples Smash session, where team smashing takes on a romantic tinge.

Experts are still on the fence about whether smashing objects in a closed environment with a tire iron actually helps to reduce stress â&#x20AC;&#x201C; in fact, some say the physical act of anger could do more harm than good. Therapists recommend mindfulness practices like yoga and meditation â&#x20AC;&#x201C; but weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to assume most folks in Philadelphia would rather pick up the crowbar. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It's the perfect avenue for processing some of the stuff we get at Thunderbird Salvage â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and processing some of our emotions. I'm just stoked to get buck wild and hopefully help others ďŹ nd some stress relief,â&#x20AC;? Irwin said.

If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re looking for some stress relief - or just a chance to star in your own slow-motion printer-smashing video â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Thunderbird Salvage may have exactly what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re looking for.

Thunderbird Salvage Rage Cage | March 30. 7pm-midnight. Thunderbird Salvage, 1431 N. 9th St. slotted.co/ragecage. Q TWITTER: @SARAHROSEETTER

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NEWS All went according to plan â&#x20AC;&#x201C; for the conmen, at least.

Six months later, Becker turned himself in after learning of warrants for his arrest in Chester County on forgery, theft and related charges. Over the last two years, similar check-cashing scams have landed at several other drug-addicted â&#x20AC;&#x153;fall guysâ&#x20AC;? with felony charges in various regional courts. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s happening to all types of people,â&#x20AC;?

Becker says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re recruiting between K&A and Prevention Point, because they know people down here are hurting for money. People like me ainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t got nothing.â&#x20AC;?

But now, for the ďŹ rst time in decades, Becker has a lot more to lose than his next ďŹ x.

The 51-year-old Kensington native been clean for ďŹ ve months. He has a roof over his head and extra weight on his once-anemic frame. Since getting sober, he has also been reconciling relationships with the family members he has hurt through his 35 years in addiction â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and is hopeful to meet his 3-yearold granddaughter for the ďŹ rst time. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d lose everything,â&#x20AC;? Becker says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m just trying to get my life together, man. And now Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m looking at jail time.â&#x20AC;?

A perfect scam

IMAGE: MAX MARIN

Steven Becker could do jail time for a desperate act he committed to further his addiction â&#x20AC;&#x201C; meanwhile, the criminal masterminds walk free.

Operation: Fall Guy In Kensington, con artists prowl for desperate drug addicts to take the heat in fraudulent check-cashing schemes

BY MAX MARIN

O

n a bone-cold morning in 2016, Steven Becker was smoking a cigarette outside of Prevention Point in Kensington when two clean-cut young men pulled up in a sedan. They asked if he had a valid driverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s license and a Social Security card â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and if he wanted to make some easy money.

Becker smelled trouble, but he also had an addiction to feed.

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The men procured his next bag of heroin and allowed him to ease his withdrawal pains in the warmth of their car. Meanwhile, they laid out the plan.

Over the course of the afternoon, Becker recalls the young men registering him onto the payroll of â&#x20AC;&#x153;their auntâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s company.â&#x20AC;? The men then drove him out to a string of banks in bucolic West Chester where he cashed two checks for several thousand dollars in his name. For his troubles, he received $300, a pack of cigarettes and a Wawa lunch.

People suffering from addiction end up in jail for non-violent crimes every day. In his 35 years of getting high in Kensington, Becker had heard of all the rackets to make a few bucks â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and court records show his confessions to multiple thefts and trespassing charges over the years.

But an inter-county counterfeiting hustle?

That was news to him until recently.

In hindsight, he realizes a guy like him was the perfect scapegoat. He willingly cashed the checks, caught on surveillance camera at the bank. In the eyes of the courts, without evidence or testimony against the original schemers (who he says he hasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seen since), Becker faces the full brunt of the law.

The Philadelphia District Attorneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s economic crimes unit conďŹ rmed it had not dealt with recent cases ďŹ tting this description. But in suburban counties around Philadelphia, multiple sources conďŹ rm others have found themselves in Beckerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s shoes, facing much harsher sentences due to the nature of the crime.

Forgery is classiďŹ ed as a misdemeanor in Pennsylvania. It is among many non-violent charges for which Philadelphia DA Larry Krasner will no longer recommend cash bail upon arrest. But when it comes to forged bank checks â&#x20AC;&#x201C; as in Beckerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s case â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the charges may be elevated to felonious offense, and can carry a prison sentence of up to seven years.

The Chester County Public Defender, which is representing Becker, declined to comment.

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Stephen J. Morse, a University of Pennsyl- western suburbs, and he gets starry-eyed evvania law professor who studies addiction ery time he describes the trees and the rolland responsibility, noted Becker was a will- ing hills. But Becker isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t complaining about ing conspirator in this case, but that doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t his life â&#x20AC;&#x201C; his new life, that is. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s put on 50 necessarily warrant a harsh punitive sentence. pounds. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s going to rehab and anger man"Should these guys be prosecuted? Proba- agement. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s making amends with his fambly they should be,â&#x20AC;? Morse says.â&#x20AC;&#x153;They knew ily members. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re all happy,â&#x20AC;? he what they were doing and says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I have a 3-year-old they took their chances. granddaughter I havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t But the entire question here "Should these guys be even seen yet, because I for sensible crime policy is a hard time getting disposition. Should they prosecuted? Probably they had clean. I struggle. But Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m do serious prison time, be should be. They knew what in the process of meeting placed on probation with her for the ďŹ rst time.â&#x20AC;? drug-free conditions, or be they were doing and they Some addicts in recovdiverted?â&#x20AC;? took their chances. But ery tell him to avoid the Morse notes addiction neighborhood. But Beckexperts continue to debate the entire question here er, born and raised in the individualsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; culpability for sensible crime policy is K&A area, isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t bothered. in committing a crime to This is where he grew up sustain their addiction. He disposition.

Should they even before he started usrecently co-authored an do serious prison time, be ing drugs as a teenager. amicus brief arguing that â&#x20AC;&#x153;The chaos out here,â&#x20AC;? he addicts retain the capacity. placed on probation with says, looking at the hustle But Becker isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t using drug-free conditions, or be and bustle of Kensinghis addiction as an excuse. ton Avenue. â&#x20AC;&#x153;This is all I He plans to plead guilty diverted?â&#x20AC;? know.â&#x20AC;? at his Chester County arâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; PENN LAW PROFESSOR STEPHEN J. MORSE ON He visits Prevention raignment later this month.

WHETHER ADDICTS ARE VICTIMS OR VILLAINS IN Point every week to check His only ask of Chesterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s CHECK CASHING SCHEME. in on his brother-in-law at courts: Spare him prison the homeless shelter, who time and let him have a struggles with mental illshot at his new life. ness. Outside, he sees the guys lined up on the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a 50-50 chance,â&#x20AC;? he feels. wall â&#x20AC;&#x201C; where he was that morning when he got caught up in the racket.

Second life â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not worth it,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not The day he got wrapped up in the check getting out of jail.â&#x20AC;? Q cashing scheme marked the ďŹ rst time heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d TWITTER: @MAXMMARIN ever been to Philadelphiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s verdant south-

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THE BACKSTORY

State Rep. hopeful Doyle taking the high road M

ike Doyle expected to support Matt Darragh in this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 170th Legislative District race, but when Darragh did not declare his intentions by late January, Doyle entered the

Live in Graduate Hospital? According to an independent study, you now live in the most desirable neighborhood in the city.

Graduate Hospital ranks No. 1 on most desirable neighborhood list A

ccording to Niche.com, an online platform that ranks city neighborhoods on everything from schools to crime rates, the ever-budding Graduate Hospital area leads the list of most desired neighborhoods in the city. Bella Vista and Fitler Square came in second and third respectively.

In fact, the site which claims to use the analysis of city data and millions of reviews to draw its conclusion gave Grad Ho an overall A-plus rating, giving high marks for the neighborhoods rich diversity, nightlife scene and quality of life for families. A rapidly gentrifying section of the city, Graduate Hospital received a B for housing. However both crime and safety and public schools received a C rating, the latter ďŹ nding robbery ranking higher than the national average.

Looking to move into the area? Niche says itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll cost you. With average home prices well over $300k and rents coming in at $1,152 a month, the area is rapidly changing its look and feel.

Surprisingly, many Center City sections ranked middle of the pack and popular hoods like Fishtown (No. 33), East Passyunk (No. 37) and Point Breeze (No. 58) failed to crack this lists top 20. The worst hood in Philadelphia? According to Niche, Southwest Phillyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bartram Village ranks low in almost every category. Q

â&#x20AC;&#x201C; KERITH GABRIEL | @SPRTSWTR

Logic announces a return to Philly region in massive U.S. tour

L

ast year, he shut down Festival Pier â&#x20AC;&#x201C; in a rainstorm.

On Tuesday, Grammy nominated artist Logic announced a return to the Greater Philadelphia Region as part of his new summer jaunt, â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Bobby Tarantino vs. Everybody Tour.â&#x20AC;? Alongside up-and-coming rappers NF and KYLE, Logic will headline Camdenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s BB&T Pavilion on June 13, the ďŹ fth stop on a 33-date cross country tour.

Tickets go on sale March 16 at noon at LiveNation.com.

Logic, who only hit mega mainstream status last year off the success of â&#x20AC;&#x153;1-800-273-8255,â&#x20AC;? a song that shed light on suicide tragedy he released that featured Alessia Cara and Khalid. Logic has always been in the eye, but it was the multiplatinum status of that single that vaulted the 28-year-old hip-hop lyricist onto mainstream radio and nearly earned him a Grammy for Song of the Year. Q

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â&#x20AC;&#x201C; KERITH GABRIEL | @SPRTSWTR

race.

Darragh, who was the Democratic nominee in 2016, eventually entered the race, but dropped out before the deadline to ďŹ le nominating petitions.

That deadline was on March 6, and Doyle ďŹ led 411 petitions. The minimum required is 300. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll challenge Republican Rep. Martina White in the general election. White took 54 percent against Darragh in 2016.

Already, Doyle has attended a training session organized by the House Democratic Campaign Committee and counts the HDCC as a supporter.

Doyle has mailed letters to committee people in the 58th and 66th wards, left a message for 66-A leader Shawn Dillon, spoken to 58th leader Jim Donnelly and met with 66-B leader Mike McAleer at the longtime ward leaderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favorite hangout, the Dunkinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Donuts at Academy and Byberry roads.

A 40-year-old Realtor who grew up in the Levittown area, Doyle lives with his wife on Dunks Ferry Road in Parkwood. Now, he wants to give back to the community that helped him become sober. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The main reason I wanted to run was to bring my personal experience to the opioid crisis,â&#x20AC;? he said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been to too many funerals.â&#x20AC;?

Doyle said his biggest problem was with alcohol, but that he was prescribed opioids after an injury. That led him to try heroin. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I was able to get help,â&#x20AC;? he said.

Doyle has been sober for more than four years. â&#x20AC;&#x153;My last drink was Oct. 20 of 2013,â&#x20AC;? he said.

Last week, in the Daily Newsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Clout Page, Doyle acknowledged serving a month on house arrest after pleading guilty in 2004 to driving under the inďŹ&#x201A;uence.

Doyle explained that addicts have to accept their past. Otherwise, he said, they will be trapped in their addiction. Since becoming sober, he has sponsored recovering addicts. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Redemption is a good quality,â&#x20AC;? he said.

Also in Clout, he acknowledged that the state Department of Revenue ďŹ led a $3,784 tax lien against him last year.

Doyle explained that the revenue department would call him, but not leave a message. When he tried to call back, nobody answered.

He noted that District Attorney Larry Krasner was recently hit with a lien of more than $10,000 by the city Department of Revenue for failure to pay property taxes. â&#x20AC;&#x153;These things happen,â&#x20AC;? Doyle said.

Doyle plans to run a positive, issues-oriented campaign, but the 170th district has a history of harsh negative campaigning from challengers, incumbents, Democrats and Republicans.

Doyle, a volunteer for a homeless advocacy group, is spending his time raising money and developing policy positions. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll knock on doors during the campaign.

If elected, Doyle said he will be empathetic to constituents. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m just a regular person who lives in Parkwood who also likes to help people,â&#x20AC;? he said. Q

â&#x20AC;&#x201C; TOM WARING | @PHILLYTOMWARING 3+,/$'(/3+,$:((./< &20

Find more events at philadelphiaweekly.com/calendar Tell us about your upcoming events! Send press releases and information to: events@phillyweekly.com

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14 ART

The InLiquid Gallery Grand Opening Reception

Join InLiquid for the â&#x20AC;&#x153;rescheduledâ&#x20AC;? grand opening (due to the Eagles Parade) of the permanent gallery. The reception will feature cocktails, hors dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;oeuvres and beer provided

by Philadelphia Brewing Company. During the reception, explore the March exhibition â&#x20AC;&#x153;Entrances and Exits,â&#x20AC;? a show that takes a playful approach to surface and the picture plane. | 6-8pm. Free. Crane Arts - Studio 108, 1400 N. American St. eventbrite.com/e/theinliquid-gallery

TLA, 334 South St. venue.tlaphilly.com

GAMES

All Things Irish Quizzo

Are you ready to wear your green, and show your Irish pride? Quizmaster Jack hosts a special â&#x20AC;&#x153;All Irish Quizzoâ&#x20AC;? as a lead-in to St. Patrickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day. Put your knowledge to the test.

Who knows, maybe youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll ďŹ nd a four-leaf clover and get lucky! | 8-10pm. Free. The Grey Lodge Pub, 6235 Frankford Ave. greylodge. com

THURSDAY, MARCH 15 FOOD & DRINK

THEATER

Toni Morrisonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Bluest Eyeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

Based off of Toni Morrisonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s classic novel, the story follows a young black girl growing up in the 1940s who wants nothing more than Shirley Templeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s eyes so she can be loved. The show is a powerful adaptation of racism and an era of change. The show runs through April 1. | 2pm, 6:30pm. Price varies. Arden Theatre, 40 N. 2nd St. ardentheatre.org

LECTURE

Shakespeare & Race

the scene

What to do in & around the city

The Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Film Festival

W

ith a ďŹ lm awards season surrounding the theme of gender equality, what better time to support women in motion pictures than now? And not to break any chauvinist hearts, but even though the Oscars had a lot of women ďŹ rsts â&#x20AC;&#x201C; cough, cough, director Greta Gerwigâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nomination breaking an eight-year, all-male streak or Rachel Morrison being the ďŹ rst-ever cinematographer nominated â&#x20AC;&#x201C; that does not mean they are the only women in the industry.

The eight-day Philly festival will showcase more than 75 ďŹ lms from all over the world. Made by, for or about women, screenings of these empowering ďŹ lms will take place throughout the city. Among others, events will also include panels and workshops.

On opening night at the Kimmel Center, come for a Q&A and screening of â&#x20AC;&#x153;And Then There was Eve,â&#x20AC;? a ďŹ lm about a wife grappling with her husbandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s disappearance all while falling in love with his colleague Eve, a jazz pianist. The ďŹ lm will be followed by a reception at Cibo Restaurante Italiano.

For more exciting tidbits, The Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Film Festival will also be collaborating with the LGBT+ ďŹ lm festival qFLIX on a number of events.

March 16-24. Times vary. Prices vary. Locations vary. thewomensfilmfestival.org

â&#x20AC;&#x201C; ANDREA CANTOR | @ANDREAJCANTOR 3+,/$'(/3+,$:((./< &20

Join Philadelphia Shakespeare Theatreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s scholar-in-residence, Dr. Annalisa Castaldo, to look at all the different ways Shakespeare presented race in his plays. Shakespeareâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s England was a profoundly xenophobic culture, with most people considering the Irish an entirely different race than the English, never mind people from Africa or the New World. As acceptance and equal treatment have become hallmarks of modern Western thought, Shakespeare has been conceived of as a humanist who transcended his cultureâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s biases, but is that always true? | 6-7pm. Free with advance registration. Free Library of Philadelphia, 1901 Vine St. web.ovationtix. com/trs/pr/980578

Cheers to the End of Winter at the Pop-Up Chalet

Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s toast winter goodbye in style. Celebrate the rising temps at this fancy shindig at the Pop-Up Chalet. Indulge in delectable foie gras sâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;mores and potato rosti bites with caviar from the culinary experts at Lacroix. Sip a glass of MoĂŤt Chandon while warming up by the ďŹ re pit for the ultimate winter sendoff, and just in time for the spring equinox.| 6-8pm. $55. The Courtyard at the Rittenhouse Hotel, 210 W. Rittenhouse Square. eventbrite. com/e/cheers-to-the-end-of-winter

BOOK TALK

MOVIE

Deepak Chopraâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Future of Wellbeingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Ghostbustersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Cult Movie Night & Trivia

For a fun time, who you gonna call? Ghostbusters of course! Play trivia about the 1984 American supernatural comedy ďŹ lm. After the game, watch the cult classic. | 6pm. Free.

Join New York Times bestselling author Deepak Chopra as he shares new insights from his latest work, â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Healing Self,â&#x20AC;? and explores some of the most important and bafďŹ&#x201A;ing questions about our place in the world.

There is a new revolution occurring in health today. That revolution is you. | 7:30pm. Merriam Theater, 250 S Broad St. Prices vary. kimmelcenter.org/events-and-tickets

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COMEDY

Rachel Feinstein

Prepare yourself for a number of impressions, and a lot of laughs. Rachel Feinstein has had three Comedy Central specials, including the most recent one-hour specialâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Amy Schumer Presents Rachel Feinstein: Only Whores Wear Purple.â&#x20AC;? Rachel has had recurring roles on the Amazon series â&#x20AC;&#x153;Red Oaks,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Crashingâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Inside Amy Schumer.â&#x20AC;? An occasional co-host on â&#x20AC;&#x153;The View,â&#x20AC;? her past credits include: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Trainwreck,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Top Five,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmoreâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;HBOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.â&#x20AC;? | 8pm. $18.50.

Punchline Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. punchlinephilly.com/

COMEDY

staff than your own work ofďŹ ce? Do you feel the urge to say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what she saidâ&#x20AC;? anytime something vaguely sexual has been said?

Then this is the perfect themed trivia event to show off your knowledge of the hit TV comedy. | 7-10pm. Free. Bottle Bar East, 1308 Frankford Ave. bottlebareast.com/

FRIDAY, MARCH 16 PERFORMANCE

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Rocky Horror Picture Showâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

Colin Kane

Laugh your ass off with some raw and dirty comedy. Kane was a regular on â&#x20AC;&#x153;Opie and Anthony,â&#x20AC;? won Howard Sternâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Kill or Be Killedâ&#x20AC;? competition, and appeared in the 2015 â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Wedding Ringerâ&#x20AC;? alongside Kevin Hart. Kane has performances through Saturday. | 8pm. $17, general admission. Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St. philadelphia. heliumcomedy.com/events/21792

GAMES

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Officeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Trivia

Do you feel closer to the Dunder-MifďŹ&#x201A;in

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Give yourself over to absolute pleasure, and journey to the sexually liberating world of Transylvania. Watch the 1975 cult classic â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Rocky Horror Picture Showâ&#x20AC;? with a live shadow cast performance by Transylvanian Nipple Productions â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Groupies and Performers. Buy a prop bag for $3, and get ready to do the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Time Warp!â&#x20AC;? | 11:30pm-2am. $10.25. Ritz at the Bourse, 400 Ranstead St. landmarktheatres.com/Booking/ritz-at-thebourse/5914161

ACCT, 111 W Hunting Park Ave. acctphilly. org

ST. PATRICKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S DAY

St. Patrickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day Party

Do the Shamrock shake and get into all kinds of St. Paddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day shenanigans. Party all day and all night with Green Beers, Car Bombs and Green Tea Mini-buckets. | Noon2am. $5 from 6pm-8pm, and $10 from 8pm1am. Howl at the Moon Philadelphia, 258 S. 15th St. howlatthemoon.com/philadelphia/

MUSICAL

Celebrate St. Patrick with a new St. Pittie or kitty! All weekend, ACCT Philly is offering fee-waived adoptions for all adult pets, as well as half-priced kittens. Spring is a busy season for ACCT, come by and ďŹ nd your new furr-ever friend! | 10am-5pm. Free admission.

THEATER

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Noises Off â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

Brace yourself for comic chaos with the riproaring play within a play. The opening night performance is just hours away, but the cast is in complete mayhem with lines being forgotten, love triangles unraveling and sardines ďŹ&#x201A;ying everywhere. Can the cast pull their act together? The show runs through April 29. | 8pm. Prices vary. Walnut Street Theater, 825 Walnut St. walnutstreettheatre.org

SATURDAY, MARCH 17 ST PATRICKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S DAY

Kiss Me Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Irish & Gay

CAUSES

St. Pitties and Kitties Adoption Extravaganza!

solely on his musical works, this is the ďŹ rst large-scale museum exhibition to highlight Bernsteinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life, Jewish identity, social activism and his â&#x20AC;&#x153;search for a solution to the 20th century crisis of faith.â&#x20AC;? | 10am-5pm. $13, general admission. Discounted tickets available. National Museum of American Jewish History, 101 South Independence Mall E. nmajh.org/bernstein/

Leonard Bernstein: The Power of Music

If you love the musical compositions of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Candide,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;On The Town,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;West Side Storyâ&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; just to name a few â&#x20AC;&#x201C; then come to the exhibit that celebrates the great composer, Leonard Bernsteinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s centenary. Not based

Gay and want to celebrate St. Paddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day? Well, the OfďŹ cial Gayborhood St. Patrickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day Party is the hot spot for your festive pleasures. All of the proceeds beneďŹ t qFLIX Philadelphia, the regionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only LGBTQ+ Film Festival. Get one free drink for every ticket and free T-shirts while supplies last. Drink specials, food, music, rafďŹ&#x201A;es and all the Irish gay fun you can handle. | 2-5pm. $20 online, $25 at the door. U Bar, 1220 Locust St. ubahnphilly.com

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ST PATRICKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S DAY

St Patrickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day Family Festival

Find the luck of the Irish at Please Touch Museum, and explore Ireland, stepdancing, folklore, and why green is the color to wear on Saint Patrickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day! | 10am-3pm. $19, general admission. Please Touch Museum, 4231 Avenue of the Republic. pleasetouchmuseum.org/event

cheese, meet Andrea and have her sign your copy of this fabulous book. | 3-5pm. Free. Uncle Bobbieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Coffee & Books, 5445 Germantown Ave. eventbrite.com/e/a-lawful-truth

YOGA

Wissahickon Warriors Yoga

Get into warrior position and tap into your inner chi. Bring a mat for this all-level yoga class. Come for a great stretch and post-class pint. The yoga class happens every Sunday. | Noon-1pm. $12. Wissahickon Brewing Company, 705 W School House Lane. wissahickonbrew.com

MONDAY, MARCH 19 FILM FESTIVAL

qFLIX ST. PATRICKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S DAY

Lent Day Retreat with Patrick of Ireland

For St. Patrickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day, tap into your Celtic spirituality. Refresh your Lent discipline, celebrate the earthy spirituality of the Celtic church, learn basic prayer techniques that consider your ordinary, spiritual and Holy Spirit awareness. | 8:30am-2pm. Free, preregistration required. Circle of Hope, 2214 S. Broad St. circleofhope.net

ST. PATRICKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S DAY

Kegs & Eggs Bottomless Mimosas Edition

Get into the St. Paddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day mood with endless mimosas. Watch sports, listen to DJs, and feel the Irish green with Vesperâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Irish Car Bombs and Green Tea shots. After brunch, keep the party going outside with a block party, starting at 2pm, ďŹ lled to the brim with Irish love and celebration. | Free admission. | 11am-4pm. Free admission. Vesper Sporting Club, 223 S. Sydenham St. vespersportingclub.com

ST. PATRICKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S DAY

Philadelphia â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Luck of the Irishâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; St Patrickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day Pub Crawl

Attention all drinkers and St. Paddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day

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celebrators, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in Irish luck, because the festive-themed pub crawl is back. Get access to some of the best bars and best drink specials in Old City. Participating restaurants include: JJ Bootleggers, Infusion Lounge, Finn McCools Ale House, MilkBoy and more to be announced. | Noon-4pm, registration. $12.95. Registration at JJ Bootleggers, 35 S. 2nd St. http://pubcrawls.com/events/saintpaddys

COMEDY

NYC Comedy Invades Philly

Hailing from the Big Apple, professional comedians pull out their city-slicker jokes for Philly audiences. Jordan Raybould presents this monthly showcase for all the laughs you can handle â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and then some! | 7:30pm. $10 online, $15 at the door. Raven Lounge, 1718 Sansom St. eventbrite.com/e/nyc-comedyinvades-philly

SUNDAY, MARCH 18 CAUSE

Yoga with Cats

Do cat poses with actual cats! How purrfect does that sound? All levels are welcome to a yoga class with Stacia Nero from Amrita Yoga while adorable and adoptable cats roam the room to provide additional stress relief. | 9-10am. $15 plus fees. PSPCA, 1546 Frankford Ave. eventbrite.com/e/yoga-with-cats

MARKET

Weekly Sunday Outdoor Flea Market at Liberty Plaza

Start getting into that spring spirit with the weekly outdoor ďŹ&#x201A;ea market. Come shop among vendors and take in that beautiful weather. Who knows what treasures you might ďŹ nd? | 8am. At Liberty Plaza, 30 Franklin Mills Blvd. PhilaFleaMarkets.org

MARKET

Riot Nerd Flea Market

Nerd out on all your favorite stuff! Among other items, locals vendors will be selling CDs, records, cassettes, VHSes, DVDs, board games, video games, toys, clothing and accessories. Come hungry, because there will be plenty of yummy food trucks. | 2-7pm. $5.

Free for 10 and under. Warehouse on Watts, 923 N. Watts St. riot-nerd.com

BOOK LAUNCH

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;A Lawful Truthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Book Release

Hailing from Jamaica, the ďŹ rst-time writer of â&#x20AC;&#x153;A Lawful Truth, Words of AfďŹ rmation: Simple Truths for Everyday Livingâ&#x20AC;? imparts the warmth, strength and vibrancy of her Caribbean roots into every audience she has an opportunity to impact. Andrea Lawful Sanders, also known affectionately as â&#x20AC;&#x153;Diva,â&#x20AC;? is a motivational coach and speaker, and CEO of A Lawful Truth Enterprises. Enjoy wine and

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all about love and lust, in all its varieties, as qFLIX Philadelphia 2018 opens with the groundbreaking musical â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hello Againâ&#x20AC;? from director Tom Gustafson with a starstudded cast, Audra McDonald, Cheyene Jackson, Martha Plimpton, Sam Underwood. | 7pm. $15. Perelman Theater at the Kimmel Center, 300 S. Broad St. qflixphilly.com

CAUSES

Timeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Up! The Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Rights Movement

The time for gender equality is now. Come hear three local activists share their stories: Amanda Owen, Jean Hunt and Salima Suswell. The talk hosted by the Justice Bell Foundation and the Walnut Club will be followed by a group discussion. | 6-8:30pm. Free. History at the Free Library of Philadelphia, 1901 Vine St. eventbrite.com/e/times-up-the-womens-rights

EMPLOYMENT

Philadelphia Job Fair

Job seekers, forget the online websites! Instead, meet and interview with hiring managers face-to-face. The fair will have companies ranging from small, local businesses to Fortune 500 corporations. You might just get hired on the spot. | 11am-2pm. Free. Courtyard Philadelphia City Avenue, 4100 Presidential Blvd. eventbrite.com/e/philadelphiacareer-fair

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MOVIE

MUSIC

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Justice Leagueâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

Roomful of Teeth

Hey, this isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t DC versus Marvel, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s superheroes versus villains! Come see the 2017 action-packed ďŹ lm. Dress up as Wonder Woman, Captain America, Batman, Superman, even Lex Luthor, or any of the characters from â&#x20AC;&#x153;Justice League,â&#x20AC;? and get a free beer. The ďŹ lm starts at 8pm, but come before 7pm and get a free beer and play classic games. After the movie there will be trivia, prizes and rafďŹ&#x201A;es. Enjoy drink specials and food. | 6:30 doors open. $3. The Trocadero, 1003 Arch St. thetroc.com

Grammy-winning vocal project Roomful of Teeth reimagines the expressive potential of the human voice.

Through study with masters from vocal traditions the world over, the eight-voice ensemble continually expands its vocabulary of singing techniques and, through an ongoing commissioning process, forges a new repertoire without borders. | 8pm. $29, general admission. Discounted tickets available. fringearts. com/event/roomful-ofteeth-2/

OUTINGS

Franklin Square

Such great weather, but where to enjoy it?

Look no further than Franklin Square, an urban green space that was part of William Pennâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s original plans for the city. The eightacre, public square has all elements to make for a great outing: a miniature golf course, classic carousel, burger joint, storytelling bench, picnic area and more. | 10am-5pm.

Free admission. Prices vary for attractions.

Franklin Square, 200 N. 6th St. historicphiladelphia.org/franklin-square/what-to-see/

TUESDAY, MARCH 20 MUSIC

MGMT

OK, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Kids,â&#x20AC;? itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time to get that â&#x20AC;&#x153;Electric Feel.â&#x20AC;? Dance out the work day with the popular American rock band. Hear their new album â&#x20AC;&#x153;Little Dark Age.â&#x20AC;? | 8pm. $45. Electric Factory, 421 N. 7th St. electricfactory.info/ Event/3/20/2018/mgmt

THEATER

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Small Mouth Soundsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

Come to the opening night of the funny play that asks how we address lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s biggest questions when words fail us. In the quiet of the woods, six city-dwelling strangers embark on a silent retreat. As they struggle to confront their internal demons â&#x20AC;&#x201C; both profound and absurd â&#x20AC;&#x201C; their vows of silence collide with their achingly human need to connect.

The show runs through April 1. | 7pm. Prices vary. Suzanne Roberts Theatre, 480 S. Broad St. philadelphiatheatrecompany.org

CONFERENCE

Kevin Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Leary LIVE

Wonder why they call him Mr. Wonderful? Find out for yourself, because the shark Kevin Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Leary will be hosting a live wealthbuilding. Have a fun, relaxed time and learn new ways to make money. The opportunities are virtually limitless! | 6:30-9:30pm. Free.

Pennsylvania Convention Center, 1101 Arch

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St. eventbrite.ca/e/free-kevin-oleary

LETTER WRITING

Pub Letters

Write a letter or three to a friend or relataive, or crib from Publettersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; infamous Cheat Sheet â&#x20AC;&#x201C; with the mailing addresses of all sorts of notables, from Tig Notaro to Benedict Cumberbatch to the President of Gambia to Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor and many more. | 5pm. Free. Tattooed Mom, 530 South St, publetters.com

the monthly showcase of female comics than during Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s History Month. Teri Granahan hosts the night that will headline Abby Rosenquist and feature Nicole Phoenix, Erin Moreland, Hannah Harkness, Katonya Mosely and Caitlin Feeney. | 8pm. $15 plus fees. PunchLine Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. punchlinephilly.com

FOOD

FOOD & DRINK

The Philadelphia Restaurant Festival

Eat and drink your way through a showcase of Philadelphiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s vibrant local restaurant scene while you enjoy live entertainment. Foodies will be in hog heaven as they sample more than 100 amazing restaurants, craft beers, bourbon and whiskeys, liquors and wines from across the city. | 6-9pm, general admission time. $49.95 plus fees, general admission. The Crystal Tea Room at The Wanamaker Building, 100 Penn Square E., 9th Floor. restaurantfestival.com/ philadelphia?ref=fbevent

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 21 COMEDY

Really Funny Comedians (Who Happen to Be Women)

Get ready to roll on the ďŹ&#x201A;oor laughing â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and guess what? They all just happen to be women comedians. What better time to see

Pastry Workshop: Eclair & Cream Puff

Got that sweet tooth that isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t satisďŹ ed by the regular batch of cookies? Learn how to make French Pâtisserie-worthy fresh ĂŠclairs and cream puffs from scratch. Find out tips and tricks to make the perfect pâte Ă choux every time. |7-9:30pm. $75. The Restaurant School at Walnut Hill College, 4207 Walnut St. store.walnuthillcollege.edu/community

THEATER

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Tempestâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

William Shakespeareâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Tempestâ&#x20AC;? examines what happens when one ruler is exiled, and his successor washes up on shore.

Both must choose between conďŹ&#x201A;ict and reconciliation. Come watch the opening night

of the comedy that tests if old grievances lead to new hope or repetition of past sins? After the show, mingle with the artists over complimentary wine, beer and light fare. The show has been extended through April 29. | 7pm. $45. Lantern Theater Company, 923 Ludlow St. lanterntheater.org

SCIENCE

3D Printing and Food Workshop

Sticky, slimy, sweet, savory â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the introduction of 3D printing technology has unlocked a whole new world of culinary possibilities!

In this hands-on workshop, participants will learn how innovative startups such as local company Biobots are changing the face of food using bioprinting technology. Participants wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t leave hungry, because the class will culminate in printing and tasting your own unique snack! | 6:30pm. $20, members. $35, general public. The Franklin Institute, 222 N. 20th St. tickets.fi.edu/webstore

ART

Artifact Night: An Up Close Look at the Duane Portraits

Recently part of a private collection, take a look at two â&#x20AC;&#x153;brand newâ&#x20AC;? portraits before they are conserved. Donated by a descendant of Benjamin Franklin, the subjects in the portraits are William J. Duane, secretary of the treasury under President Andrew Jackson, and Deborah Bache (Mrs. William J.) Duane, a granddaughter of Franklin. The portraits were painted around 1815, possibly by Pennsylvania artist Jacob Eichholtz. | 6-7pm. $10, members. $20, general public. Merchants Exchange Building, 143 S. 3rd St. friendsinhp. ticketleap.com/artifact-night/

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SAVAGE LOVE

What is Love?

DAN SAVAGE

I

â&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a 33-year-old woman from Melbourne, Australia, dating a 24-year-old man. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been dating for about eight months; it is exclusive and ofďŹ cial. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s kind and sweet, caring and giving, and his penis is divine. The thing is, he confessed to me recently that he doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really â&#x20AC;&#x153;feel.â&#x20AC;? The way he explained it is, the only emotions he feels are fear and anxiousness that heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll disappoint the people he cares about. He says heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s never been in love. He said his dad is the same way.

The only time I see him really â&#x20AC;&#x153;feelâ&#x20AC;? are when heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s high, which he is semi-frequently. He uses MDMA and he comes alive. He seems the way a â&#x20AC;&#x153;normalâ&#x20AC;? person does when theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in love, but when heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sober, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s like heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s trying to mimic the things a person in love would say or do. I confessed I am falling in love with him recently and told him I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t saying this with any expectation of him feeling the same; I just wanted him to know. He responded that he cares for me a lot â&#x20AC;&#x201C; but thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s it. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m now worried that heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll never love me. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want kids, so time isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t critical for me, but I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to be with someone who wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t ever love me. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Lacking One Vaunted Emotion You didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t use the P-word (psychopath) or the S-word (sociopath), LOVE, but both came to mind as I was reading your letter.

Someone who isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t capable of feeling? Isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t that textbook P-word/S-word stuff? â&#x20AC;&#x153;The fear with someone who doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;feelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; is that they may be a psychopath or a sociopath, terms that are used interchangeably,â&#x20AC;? said Jon Ronson, author of The Psychopath Test: A Journey Through the Madness Industry. â&#x20AC;&#x153;And lots of the items on the psychopath checklist relate to an inability to experience deep emotions â&#x20AC;&#x201C; like Shallow Affect, Lack of Empathy and Lack of Remorse. However, I have good news for LOVE! This line: â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The only emotions he really feels are fear and anx-

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iousness that heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll disappoint the people he cares aboutâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; is the critical one. Psychopaths do not feel anxiety. In fact, my favorite thing a psychologist said to me about this was: â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re worried you may be psychopath, that means you arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t one.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Also, psychopaths donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t care about disappointing loved-ones!

All those emotions that relate to an overactive amygdala â&#x20AC;&#x201C; fear, remorse, guilt, regret, empathy â&#x20AC;&#x201C; psychopaths donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feel them.â&#x20AC;?

So your boyfriendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not a psychopath. Not that you asked. But, you know, just in case you were worried. Anywayâ&#x20AC;Ś My hunch is that your boyfriendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s problem isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t an inability to feel love, LOVE, but an inability to recognize the feelings heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s having as love. (Or potentially love, as itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only been eight months.) What is romantic love but a strong desire to be with someone? The urge to be sweet to them, to take care of them, to do for them? Maybe heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just going through the motions with you â&#x20AC;&#x201C; a conscious mimicit-till-you-make it strategy â&#x20AC;&#x201C; or maybe the double whammy of a damaged dad and that toxic masculinity stuff sloshing around out there left him blocked, LOVE, or emotionally constipated. And while MDMA can deďŹ nitely be abused â&#x20AC;&#x201C; moderation in all things, kids, including moderation â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the effect it has on him is a hopeful sign. MDMA is not an emotional hallucinogen; the drug has been used in couples counseling and to treat PTSD, not because it makes us feel things that arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t there (in the way a hallucinogen makes us see things that arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t there), but because it allows genuine feelings to surface and, for a few hours, to be felt intensely. So he can feel love â&#x20AC;&#x201C; he just has to learn how to tap into those feelings and/or recognize them without an assist from MDMA. Ronson had one last bit of advice for you, LOVE: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Marry him and his divine penis!â&#x20AC;? I agree with Jon, of course, but a long, leisurely engagement is deďŹ nitely in order. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve only been seeing this guy and his divinity dick for eight months â&#x20AC;&#x201C; donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t propose to him for at least another year, LOVE, and make marriage conditional upon him seeing a shrink four times as often as he sees his MDMA dealer. Q

THEREâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S MORE SAVAGE LOVE! Read more at PHILLYWEEKLY.COM Ask a question: MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET

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Studios $200,000 to $300,000 1 Bedrooms $300,000 to $400,000 2 Bedrooms $400,000 to $500,000 3 Bedrooms $500,000 to $600,000 "

1315 Club House Rd, Gladwyne

1416 Flat Rock Road, Penn Valley

NEW LISTINGS 1351 Bobarn Drive, Penn Valley 5 Bed/4.1 Bath; 4,308 sq ft Colonial $1,169,000

615 Bryn Mawr Ave, Penn Valley 4 Bed/2.1 Bath; 3,878 sq ft Stone Colonial $699,900

3 Bed, 1.1 Bath; 1,264 sq ft Twin $335,000

7 Greenhill Lane, Wynnewood

2401 Pennsylvania Ave, Unit 7B31, Philadelphia

6 Bed/4.2 Bath; 3497 sq ft Colonial $675,000

1 Bed/1 Bath; 1,343 sq ft Condo $315,000

2 Bed/2.1 Bath; 2383 sq ft Condo $379,000

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519 Spruce Ln, Villanova

JUST REDUCED 418 Pennsdale St, Manayunk

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1172 Saint Andrews Rd, Bryn Mawr

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3 Bed/3 Bath; 2,984 sq ft Ranch $645,000

501 Kingsley Court, Philadelphia

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317 S Bryn Mawr Ave, Bryn Mawr

917 N Woodbine Ave, Penn Valley

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1122 Greentree Lane, Penn Valley

508 Kingsley Court, Roxborough

5 Bed/5.1 Bath; 6,000 sq ft New Construction $1,750,000

437 Hidden River Rd, Penn Valley

4 Bed/2.1 Bath; 1846 sq ft Cape $464,000

6 Bed/5.2 Bath; 6,324 sq ft Colonial $1,699,000

1060 Kennett Way, West Chester

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307 Clwyd Rd, Bala Cynwyd

3 Bed, 3 Bath; 2,748 sq ft Ranch End Unit $435,000

1901 John F Kennedy #1409, Rittenhouse Sq

6 Bed/5.1 Bath; 7,950 sq ft 3 Story Tudor $1,595,000

241 Indian Creek Rd, Wynnewood

28 Honey Locust Ct, Lafayette Hill 3 Bed/2.1 Bath; 2,056 sq ft Townhome in Andorra Woods $389,000

5 Bed/5.2 Bath; 6,896 sq ft Colonial $1,298,000

238 Montgomery Ave, Haverford

2 Bed/1 Bath; 1140 sq ft Unit $439,000

2 Canterbury Ln, Saint Davids

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1901 John F Kennedy #1911, Rittenhouse Sq

5 Bed/2.1 Bath; 4,484 sq ft Stone Colonial $1,295,000

616 Broad Acres Rd, Penn Valley

526 Midvale Road, Upper Darby 4 Bed/2.1 Bath; 2249 sq ft Colonial $219,000

4 Bed/3.2 Bath; 0.49 acre Renovated $1,225,000

926 Merion Square Road, Gladwyne 5 Bed/6.1 Bath; 5502 sq ft Colonial $1,099,000

726 Conshohocken State Rd, Penn Valley 4 Bed/3.1 Bath; 4,894 sq ft Colonial $1,080,000

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For more information contact:

1750 Oakwood Ter #1A, Penn Valley

1030 E Lancaster Ave #116, Bryn Mawr

5 Bed/5.1 Bath;7,950 sq ft 3 Story Tudor $999,000

2 Bed/2 Bath; 1299 sq ft End Unit $259,000

3 Bed/2 Bath; 1125 sq ft Unit $186,000

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1650 Oakwood Dr, Unit E119, Penn Valley

1655 Oakwood Drive N103, Penn Valley

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2 Bed, 2 Bath; 1,144 sq ft Condo $225,000

1 Bed/1 Bath; 858 sq ft Unit $185,000

500 N Spring Mill Road, Villanova

239 Trianon Ln, Villanova 4 Bed, 3.1 Bath; 3,443 sq ft, $865,000

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830 S. FRONT STREET QUEEN VILLAGE A Lovely 4 Story Home full of Character and Many Beautiful Details. 18â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Wide. 3 Bedrooms + a Huge Family Room, 2 Fireplaces, Most Hardwood Floors, Large Rooms, High Ceilings, Great Eat in Kitchen, 2 Full Baths + a Powder Room on the 1st Floor, Garden and Roof Deck Potential.

Move in Condition.

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Terrific Location (across from the Landscaped Sound Barrier Park). Glorious Sunrise & Sunsets + Great Neighbors.

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What They Are Saying:

I have worked with Kathy and Pat for over 15 years both buying and selling and renting. They have always been responsive, professional and extremely helpful. They also helped both my children find their places in the city.

Talented team with great support staff. Absolutely recommend the Conway Team .

Bob Jefferson

Patrick Conway

Kathy Conway

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NEW LISTING POINT BREEZE Beautifully designed, new constructed townhome featuring hardwood floors, a custom kitchen with high-end stainless steel appliances and quartz counters. Enjoy all 3 outdoor spaces, including a rooftop deck with amazing city views! 10 Year tax abatement approved! 3 Bedrooms, 3 Baths

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