This issue is dedicated to every woman who’s felt the weight of silence, who’s been told to sit down or blend in. It’s time to ditch the rules, take up space, and own who we are—without apologies. We’re done asking for permission.
SHAY, 47
I'm not sure I've felt pressure as I have aged. My generation looks good! I embrace the beauty of women in all ages of their life. Whether its wrinkles, grey hair, extra weight, as all being beautiful. And I know I am in good company with many women who are older than me and look amazing. Their poise, growth within their bodies and who they embody as a person got better with age. My perception of beauty is now defined by me. Not by society, not by family or friends. But by me. My beauty is black and beautiful. And I will love it! I strive to be myself and that's how I show up. My younger self wanted to appease others. Not anymore, for what? Got me nowhere but second guessing who I am. Those days are behind me. So when you see me, I am authentically me.
Sensuality to me is pleasure. And pleasure is all the yummy bits. At this stage of my life, I embody sensuality in all facets. I take a mindful approach in enjoying the pleasures of what I do throughout the day and night. Whether that is taking time to savor a meal, engaging in conversations with strangers or friends or just sitting satisfied in the solitude of my home. I seek to find and relish in pleasure. And I want that part of me, my sensuality, to just ooze throughout my life and daily interactions.
DARRIA, 40
This was my second shoot! My first was me stepping outside my comfort zone and doing something for myself to love on me. My second was for my 40th birthday. Reminding myself that although my body is changing I am still sexy confident and just continuing to love on me! I am becoming comfortable with myself (all of me) the things I feel are flaws and all. I’m working on healthier habits and healing the broken woman I had become but loving my body for all that is has done for me and what is will continue to do.
Being a bigger women has had its pressure or impact on my self esteem. Being 40 and not married and my body intimate areas not being as perky as they used to be-- it makes me wonder if I’ll ever get to the dream of being desired by the “right” man. If my age as well as my body are good enough to attract “husband”. But doing things that I like not being afraid just trying something new has boosted my self confidence! I don’t worry so much about other’s opinions or thoughts of my life’s choices. I move in what makes me happy and embrace healthy relationships.
KEISHA, 48
As I've aged my perception of beauty increased inner qualities, valuing myself and kindness. The most liberating aspect of being a woman over 40 is knowing what you want and speaking it. I feel more confident now because I will speak up quicker than I would when I was younger.
This shoot was everything for me as a woman with a disability, It gave me more self-worth, It gave me a boost of confidence, and most of all the strength to say I can and DID. The message I hope to send to other women is don't let anything hold you back there's so much in this world that can hold you, DON'T allow it to be YOURSELF.
CARRIE, 44
I did my boudoir shoot because I wanted to feel sexy and empowered! There are so many types of negative messaging that surrounds getting older as a woman and it can be really challenging to feel good in your own skin. I have felt the pressure of simply not being allowed to age by society. The pressure to eliminate any signs of getting older is immense- I have definitely bought the products and subjected myself to intense self- scrutiny for not being "airbrushed" and "photoshopped" in real life. The best thing that I have tried to do personally is to surround myself with people who are grounded with a solid sense of humor. I have learned so much just through laughter.
The most liberating thing about my 40s is caring less and less what people think. Understanding that my self-confidence is powerful and contagious. Knowing that I have accomplished so much to be proud of and that nobody has the perfect (fill in the blank) is a realization I wish I had years ago We all have insecurities and that has inspired me to believe that perfection is myth. Knowing about the beauty industry and how it preys on all our insecurities and promotes an unattainable ideal has been incredibly freeing as I have moved through my 40's.
This shoot helped me so much to view myself as a powerful woman! It was something that had been on my bucket list and I was more than pleased with the entire experience and results. In the past few years, my self-esteem had begun to suffer. Entering my 40's during the pandemic brought about a lot of change I was unprepared for. I wasn't about to just throw in the towel and accept that society devalues older women. I wanted to take back my power and worth.
ASHLEY, 40
I wanted to do something different for my 40th birthday. Usually I travel somewhere, do some sightseeing, and meet new people This birthday is different, though It marks a new decade. I was scrolling through Instagram when I came across Boudoir by Ria. The photos were beautiful. Seeing all these beautiful Black women looking sexy, strong but also vulnerable. It made me think of all the pictures I've taken in life and how I didn’t appreciate my beauty and my body at the time. That’s when I knew a boudoir shoot is what I wanted to do I wanted to celebrate this body and who I am now
The back half of my 30s was a transformative experience for me The pandemic had a big part of it to be honest. The early lockdown, when we were all sitting at home, made me aware of how much of my sense of self was shaped by other people. It was during that experience that I did something I always wanted to do: I shaved all my hair off. With my hair all gone, with no big hair to hide behind, I fell in love with the beauty of me. Just me. I liked the feeling. After that, I made the conscious choice to speak lovingly over my body each evening while standing in the mirror. I spoke love to the parts of my body that I cringed at because I thought others were judging me for When the world opened back up, I wasn’t the same person It opened my eyes to the fact that I’ve always been beautiful but I filtered my view of myself through others. What they thought. What I thought they saw. And those white Eurocentric beauty standards don’t help either. Screw them! I’m beautiful.
There's an emotional and mental shedding that happens at 40 It started in the back half of my 30s where I started to care less and less about what others thought of me. The voice in my head grew louder and theirs became quieter Part of that comes not only with age but a willingness to do the work. To heal. To confront the parts of yourself as a person that you shy away from To confront your past and the choices you've made or what others did to you I don't think you can get there without doing that work. In the process, you develop a compassion for yourself and, hopefully, do better. Like the old folks say, once you know better, do better When I was younger, I was always running away from that Because I was running away from it, I couldn't embrace who I am or see myself properly. Doing the work made me feel more sure and certain of myself which, in turn, boosted my confidence Don't nobody know me like I know me.
FATIMA, 45
I think people expect us to look the way we did in our twenties forever but sometimes life happens differently . I definitely didn't feel as sexy as I was in my twenties but I have redefined what my new sexy is . Before my session I was unsure if my photos would even be sexy because I have never thought of myself as being photogenic in photos. So I did my homework and looked at hundreds of boudoir photos and got some inspiration. The liberation I found in my forties is no longer being afraid to ask for what I want physically in every aspect of my life. My shoot made me fall in love with myself again and remember the confidence I had lost because I allowed others to silence it. I think sometimes as wives ,mother's and in my case a grandmother I forgot the person I was before all of this and just how freaking beautiful I am.
The only message I would send to other women is never lose yourself for others and always bet on yourself because baby you're the true prize.
VICKY, 47
I always wanted to do a boudoir shoot. But in the last year life has changed drastically for me I lost the love of my life, my fiance, to cancer It just has taught me life is short and can change quickly. One day you are planning a wedding and the next day, you are planning a funeral. Do everything you ever wanted to do in the present because tomorrow isn't promised.
I always thought I was pretty. I may have been skinny or hated my hair but I still thought I was pretty, Since entering my 40's, I have been the most comfortable in my own skin. I love my curves, And I embrace all of them! In this era of beauty, it's so easy to correct something that you do not like. Either go hard working out or go under the knife...simple! After having my son, I gained so much weight. I tried losing it but then i just had loose skin. So I decided to have a tummy tuck. Best decision that I ever made. That helped me find my sexy again. Now I have a trainer that keeps me in check.
I come from a Carribean household And my mom used to always say to me what would so and so think. I used to be like who cares. So being able to be 100% free is so liberating. Not caring what people think. I think when we are youmger we care what everyone thinks and we try to please. Whether its your parents, boyfriend, friends.... At this point,especially what I have been through in the last year, I don't care what anyone thinks or how they perceive me.
This shoot made me realize I can do anything I want. Since this shoot I 've been extras on movie sets, been in a music video, and currently working on an independent film. None of this was on my radar. I honestly thought I was too old. But after seeing the final pictures, skies the limit.
LATYRA, 42
As I navigate my 40s, my perception of beauty has evolved Some days, I feel great about my body and embrace the changes, while other days, I struggle with insecurities. It’s a mixed bag. I’ve realized that beauty isn’t just about looking a certain way; it’s also about how I feel about myself in the moment. I’m learning to appreciate the highs and accept the lows, which makes the journey more authentic. It's all part of growing and figuring out who I am now. I’ve felt the pressure to fit certain beauty standards as I age. It can be tough when society often equates youth with sexiness. Before my boudoir session, I tried to focus on self-care and remind myself that confidence is what truly makes someone sexy.
At this stage of my life, I define sensuality as a deep connection to my body and emotions. It’s about being comfortable in my skin and embracing my desires, both physical and emotional. Sensuality feels less about fitting a specific image and more about expressing myself authentically. It’s about confidence, intimacy, and enjoying the moments that make me feel alive. The most liberating aspect of being a woman over 40 is the growing ability to care less about others' opinions and to prioritize my happiness. I’ve learned to say no without feeling the need to justify myself, and if I change my mind, I do so without guilt I’m more comfortable speaking my mind and pursuing what truly matters to me
While I’m still a work in progress, I appreciate that I’ve gained a clearer sense of who I am, and that makes a difference in how I navigate life compared to my younger years
Initially, I had mixed feelings after the shoot and didn’t really look at the photos I purchased. But recently, I took a moment to review them, and I was truly in awe. The images were absolutely beautiful, which surprised me because I didn’t feel that way right after the shoot. Reflecting on those photos, I realize they remind me of the incredible person I am and how strong I've become At 42, I look good as hell, and my younger self would have wished to look this good at my age. This experience has reaffirmed my selfworth and self-image, showing me that I’m still that girl I’m so glad I did the shoot; it’s a powerful reminder of my beauty and resilience, and it has boosted my confidence.
J-LYNN, 50
As I approached my 50th birthday, I decided to treat myself to something truly special. I wanted to celebrate and embrace the beginning of my Fabulous 50s with love and joy. In my younger years beauty often felt tied to external appearances and society standards. I’ve felt the pressure to maintain a wellshaped body. A body shape that society deams as sexy or attractive. However, with age I’ve come to appreciate a deeper more holistic sense of beauty. Now I see beauty as confidence, wisdom , unique experiences. and self-love!
One of the main reason I did my Boudoir shoot was to embrace the body that I have. To remind MYSELF that I’’m beautiful, curves and all! I stopped worrying or caring about loosing weight before the shoot. I had put off doing it so long because I hadn’t lost weight , that I said “F” this I’m doing this now ! The most liberating aspect of being over 40 is having a profound sense of selfassurance and authenticity that comes with age. By this stage I’ve learned to embrace who I am, unapologetically! I feel more confident in knowing my worth than I did in my younger years . Knowing your worth gives you a sense of freedom and empowerment. It enables you to shed all insecurities and society pressures!
To all the incredible women 40 and older, my message to you is this-- Embrace your age journey with pride and confidence. We are now in the stage of life where we will experience an abundance of self-discovery and empowerment. Celebrate your achievements, honor your experiences, and cherish the wisdom you gain. Remember you are more than enough just as you are!
NEECY, 44
I've always dreamed of doing a sexy boudoir shoot, but I often felt too large to participate. However, after seeing Ria's stunning photos showcasing beautiful, sexy, and incredible plus-size women, I found the confidence and courage to schedule my own shoot. The experience was transformative and empowering. As I stepped into the studio, any lingering doubts began to fade away. The photographer was incredibly supportive, creating a comfortable and encouraging atmosphere. Each pose highlighted my curves and celebrated my uniqueness, reminding me that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. When I saw the final photos, I was amazed at how they captured not just my outer beauty, but also the confidence and strength I felt inside. It was a reminder that embracing who I am and celebrating my body is a powerful act of self-love.
The most empowering part of being a woman over 40 is the reduction of self-judgment and embracing self-love wholeheartedly I find myself more confident now than in my younger years, as I choose to focus on the beauty of who I am rather than my perceived flaws Additionally, life experiences have taught me to value resilience, wisdom, and authenticity. I cherish the friendships I've cultivated, the career I've built, and the passions I've pursued Each day is a new opportunity to learn and grow, and I embrace it with open arms. I find joy in simple pleasures and take pride in the legacy I am creating This journey of self-discovery and acceptance is truly liberating, reminding me that age is a gift, filled with endless potential and grace.
You don't need to meet a specific size to feel and appear sexy. True sexiness radiates from within and encompasses self-love and confidence You are beautiful! Celebrate and embrace your unique beauty! Furthermore, remember that everyone has their own journey and story, and it's those differences that make us truly captivating Wear your smile like a crown, and let your confidence be your most alluring accessory. Surround yourself with positivity and people who appreciate you for who you are Dance to your own rhythm, and never let anyone dim your sparkle. Your individuality is your power, so shine brightly and unapologetically.
TYRA, 40
I turned 40 this past year and had been nervous about “getting old”. I needed to see myself at my most authentic moment. When I turned 35 I consumed my time with work and running my business. I started to neglect my self care. I kept thinking, I’ll have time later, there is now later! We have to live in the now. To prepare for my boudoir session, I carved out time to take care of me, getting a facial, keeping my hair done, going shopping for lingerie, involving my friends in my preparation. This shoot helped me to remember who I was, and I realized that the person I was missing was still inside of me, she just needed a little wake up! I am plus size and I always have been, I have lost weight and it’s okay to appreciate my body at every size. As long as I love me and show up for myself, the world will follow suit.
The most liberating aspect of being 40, is making good decisions for me, not taking anyone else in consideration ahead of myself. I live a life of luxury, I am living the life I asked God for. I am still discovering what sensuality means to me at 40, but a few keys to my discovery is taking time to rest, wearing beautiful pajamas, being gentle with my self . Slowing down and truly noticing life’s details, seeking balance between my mind and body.
With getting older, you ’ re never starting from scratch, you ’ re starting from experience. The only opinion that matters is yours. Stop waiting to live your best life, live in now!
