Darker tales script

Darker Tales Screenplay by Rick Baber & Rhonda Crone

Based on the book “Darker Tales”

by Rick Baber

TigerEye Publications P.O. Box 6382 Springdale, AR 72766 www.TigerEyePubs.com

DARKER TALES Copyright © 2014 by Rick Baber This is a work of fiction, adapted from the fictional novel, Darker Tales. Names, places, characters and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination, or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this screenplay may be produced, copied or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission from the author or the author’s duly authorized representative.

For information contact the author: Rick Baber P.O. Box 6382 Springdale, AR 72766 Phone: 479-751-2392 E: cybermouth@hotmail.com

WGA West Registration: 1723280 Printed in USA

ISBN: 978-1499739053

EXT. WET CITY STREET - 2 A.M. THE BAD PART OF TOWN. TALL BUILDINGS, ALLEYS BETWEEN SOME. UNSAVORY PEDESTRIANS. STEAM COMING UP FROM A MANHOLE. TITLE OVERLAY: "SMALL CHANGE" TITLE DISAPPEARS. "Loving Her Was Easier" by Kris Kristofferson echoes from the window of a '91 beat-up, duct-taped red Honda Civic. It pulls over to the curb and sits running, exhaust pouring from the muffler. DAN, mid-30s, salt and pepper shaggy hair, sits inside the car, wiping tears from his eyes with his hands and tosses out a cigarette butt. He stares blankly as a homeless person pushes a grocery cart across the street into an alley through the steam rising from a manhole.

FLASHBACK INT. SMOKY BAR - NIGHT, LAST YEAR Sitting on a bar stool, a cleaner-cut DAN glances up from his beer to catch a glimpse of a gorgeous young woman, flowing blonde hair and dress, passing through a doorway to the restrooms. He's intrigued, dumbfounded by her beauty. He spins around on the stool, waiting for her return. He fixes his eyes on the doorway, sipping his Tecate. The music continues.

CUT TO: INT. HONDA - NIGHT DAN looks at the clock. It's 2 a.m., then - hopefully - into the steam rising in front of the alley. The same song is on the radio.

He reaches down between the seats and pulls out a .38 revolver, his thumb pulls back the hammer and he begins to lift it to his head.

A nickel-plated automatic appears inches from Dan's left temple from outside the window.

A black man, all in black - leather pants, jacket and ski cap, stands next to the open window. Only two white eyes and large lips are visible. He holds the gun in one hand, lit cigar in the other, then tosses the cigar.

(CONTINUED)

2.

CONTINUED:

Dan lowers the .38 back down between the seats before the Gangster comes eye-to-eye with him.

EXT. WET CITY STREET - 2 A.M. GANGSTER 'Sup muhfugga?

The Gangster blows cigar smoke into Dan's face through his stained, gapped teeth. A crazy look is in his eyes.

DAN Shit! I didn't see YOU comin'!

In a mixture of disbelief and relief, Dan laughs nervously and relaxes his head back against the headrest, wiping a tear from his right eye.

GANGSTER (angrily repeats himself) Whassup muhfugga?

He shoves the automatic into Dan's temple.

'Cause I'm black you didn't see me out in the dark? 'Zat right muhfugga? 'Cause I'm black? I oughtta blow your muhfuggin' cracka head off you don't be showin' me some respeck! And TURN off that damn hillbilly music 'fo I pop yo muhfuggin' ass!

DAN (laughs, voice an octave higher) Hillbilly? FUCK you man! You wanna hear that Snoop Doggy Dogg bullshit, don't you? This guy's a fucking Rhodes Scholar. You know what that is? You P-Diddy goldchain wearin' motherfucker!

Dan turns the music up.

The GANGSTER cocks his head sideways and looks hard into Dan's red eyes, confused.

GANGSTER Who gots the muhfuggin' gun here?

You wanna die?

(CONTINUED)

3.

CONTINUED:

DAN (casually) You believe in hell?

GANGSTER Say WHAT? He steps back from the car, spins around in frustration DAN Hell. If you kill yourself, you go to hell.

The GANGSTER holds the gun straight out, sideways, like gangsters do. He points it at Dan's face, walking closer to car window.

GANGSTER Muhfugga, I don't be killin' myself, I be killin' YOU! He reaches up with his other hand and cocks the gun, keeping it pointed straight at Dan's face.

DAN (unflinching) Yeah. Now you're gettin' the point, dumbass.

He leans his head back against the headrest and stares up at the tattered ceiling, waiting.

The GANGSTER draws back, hits Dan on the head with the barrel of the gun.

GANGSTER Gimme yo money!

DAN OWWW! DAMN! Groaning, he rubs his head briskly.

DAN (CONT’D) That HURT, you piece of shit!

GANGSTER I SAID, gimme yo fuckin' money!

DAN I ain't GOT no fuckin' money, dipshit! Do I look like I got any fuckin' money?

(MORE) (CONTINUED)

4.

CONTINUED: (2) DAN (CONT'D) Am I down here in the hood drivin' a Ferrari? (a beat) Dumbass motherfucker!

GANGSTER (a few octaves higher) Got damn! You one crazy muhfugga ain't you?

He lowers the gun down to his side as he speaks.

FLASHBACK INT. SMOKY BAR - NIGHT JEANNI, the beautiful woman that Dan was waiting to return from the restroom, sits back down at her corner table alone.

The table is covered with several different drinks bought by hopeful admirers. A bar maid delivers another - a glass of champagne - and walks away. JEANNI chooses this one and takes a sip.

Just then, DAN walks up to her table, sits down with a glass of milk and a grilled cheese sandwich.

JEANNI looks at him oddly.

DAN You're too skinny. You should eat a little something before a big wind comes up and blows you away.

JEANNI (laughs quietly) That's the most original line I've ever heard.

He looks at her, hypnotized but trying to hide it.

She quits laughing suddenly and their eyes meet for the first time. She continues staring into her eyes as she lifts the glass of milk to her mouth and takes a drink.

JEANNI (CONT’D) So. DAN So what?

JEANNI So how much trouble are you gonna be in when you don't come home tonight?

(CONTINUED)

5.

CONTINUED:

She takes a little bite of the sandwich, never taking her eyes off his.

DAN (perplexed) I'm not going home tonight?

Saying nothing, JEANNI shakes her head "no" and wipes a tiny piece of cheese from the corner of her mouth, sucking it off her finger.

DAN (CONT’D) (smiling slyly) I'm not going home tonight...

CUT TO: EXT. WET CITY STREET - 2 A.M. GANGSTER You hear me?

Snapping out of his dream, DAN lowers and turns his head to stare eye-to-eye with the gangster.

DAN Huh? The GANGSTER'S look becomes less threatening, more concerned.

His voice softens, becomes kinder.

GANGSTER Why you won't gimme yo money so I don't have to kill you?

DAN (laughs) Man,I told you. I ain't got no money. Nothin'. There's some pennies and nickels here in the ashtray. I don't guess I'll be needing them..."

DAN laughs more as he removes the ashtray, hands it to the Gangster out the window.

GANGSTER Fuck you muhfugga!

He slaps the ashtray from Dan's hand and the change jingles as it spills into the street.

(CONTINUED)

6.

CONTINUED:

He briefly points the automatic back at Dan's face, then lowers it back down. He leans down to Dan's level, face-toface.

GANGSTER (CONT’D) You gots to have somethin' up in here.

Dan peacefully lays back and closes his eyes. Blood drips from his forehead where he was pistol-whipped.

DAN (sleepily) Help yourself. If you find anything you like...

He smiles and slips into half-dream state. He hears his own voice, like a little devil sitting on his shoulder: DAN (V.O.) You got nothin'. No job anymore, no house, friends, You can't sleep.

There's nothin' to lose and there's nothin' here, except for this .38.

You sure as hell won't need it where you're goin'... but do you want some goddamn thug to have it, to go and pistol-whip someone else?

Or kill 'em. Aw, he wouldn't be caught dead driving this piece of shit anyway. It has more duct tape on it, holdin' it together, than anything else. (a beat)'Caught dead.' That's funny.

He laughs out loud, as if he'd just made a revelation.

GANGSTER You all into this shit ain't you? (a beat) You come down here to get killed?

He looks at Dan in total confusion.

Dan is silent, stares off at the alley, watching two STREET PEOPLE on their hands and knees, gathering up the pennies and nickels from the ashtray.

FLASHBACK INT. DAN'S HOUSE - DAYTIME

(CONTINUED)

7.

CONTINUED:

MODEST BUT CLEAN; SPARSELY FURNISHED. DAN What is it about him that makes him better than me?

Jeanni stands, nudging the screen door open with her hip, a suitcase in each hand.

JEANNI I'm young, Dan. (Crying) I love you. But there are so many things I want to do. With him, I can do them.

DAN So that's it, then? That's what it comes down to? Money? He's got a plane, a big house, and a place in France. And he can take you places and buy you things. He can buy you?...What about him? How would you feel about him if he was just small change like me?

With no response, JEANNI pushes the screen door open and walks out as it slams shut behind her.

CUT TO: EXT. WET CITY STREET - 2 A.M. GANGSTER slaps the roof of the car.

GANGSTER I ain't got time for this shit! (a beat) That's why you wanna die?

Cause you broke? Cause you ain't got shit? You ol' lady run off too?

DAN (mumbling) Lucky guess.

The gangster points to the street people, still scrounging up change on their hands and knees.

GANGSTER Muhfugga, what do you think they would do to have a nice warm car like this to sleep in?

(CONTINUED)

8.

CONTINUED:

He reveals his big yellow smile and places the automatic back in the holster under his jacket.

GANGSTER (CONT’D) You small change, muhfugga, you ain't worth killin'. Least they still in the game!

He stands tall and proudly retrieves a crisp 50 dollar bill from inside his breast pocket and waves it under Dan's nose.

He turns and slowly walks toward the dark alley, then leans down, handing the $50 bill to one of the men on his knees.

Then, he's gone.

Two other street people appear, and the three of them sit staring at the $50 held by the recipient for several moments.

Just staring. Then, they continue to pick up the scattered pennies and nickels. Small change.

As Dan watches, he smiles.

DAN (laughing) Well, shit...

CUT TO: EXT. OLD LADY'S HOUSE - NIGHT A POLICE CAR, WITH LIGHTS SILENTLY FLASHING, SITS ON A GRAVEL DRIVEWAY OUTSIDE AN OLD WHITE FRAME HOUSE. IN THE FRONT SEAT OF THE CAR SITS 40-SOMETHING RIDEALONG WRITER/PHOTOGRAPHER RICK BABER - WAITING FOR THE POLICE OFFICER TO RETURN. HE LISTENS TO THE POLICE RADIO WHILE HE WAITS. TITLE OVERLAY: "THE PERPETRATOR" TITLE DISAPPEARS. DISPATCH (V.O.) That's 10-4, 320. 317 is back at Mrs. Crutcher's house. She's hearing voices coming from her walls again.

317 (V.O.) What was the new call? I was there for a minute. All good.

(CONTINUED)

9.

CONTINUED:

DISPATCH (V.O.) We've got a 10-60 on Success Avenue, about two blocks south of Emma. What's your 20?

317 (V.O.) Dispatch, this is 317. We're 10-98 here, we'll take it.

320 (V.O.) I'm about 10 blocks away.

317 (V.O.) Negative, 320. 349 is 10-47 also.

Officer 317 comes running out the front door of the house, jumps the porch rail and heads to the car. He gets in and cuts a 180 in the driveway, spraying gravel everywhere.

CUT TO: INT. POLICE CAR - NIGHT, MOVING/STOPPED 40-SOMETHING RICK What's a 10-60?

317 (matter-of-factly) ) Hostage situation. Put on your belt.

Before Rick is able to pull out and latch his seatbelt, the tires squeal to a stop in front of an old two-story apartment building. The other unit passes them, circling around toward the back.

317 (CONT’D) Wait here.

He pulls out his shotgun from the rack and jumps out of the car.

40-SOMETHING RICK (masking his fear) Right.

As soon as 317 is out of sight Rick grabs his camera from the bag and checks it for film. It is there. He hears the radio again.

317 (V.O.) 317 ON THE SCENE.

(CONTINUED)

10.

CONTINUED:

349 (V.O.) Got your back, 317. More units are en route.

Rick pulls the orange card from around his neck (that identifies him as with police) and to the front of his photographer's vest. When he sees that 317 is out of sight behind the hedges, he eases the car door open and slips out.

EXT. OLD APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT There's fuzzy shouting from the officers behind the hedges, but Rick can't discern it. His only mission is to get to the place where the cobblestone sidewalk parts the hedges, where he can duck and hide. He reaches it and pulls out his camera.

HE PEEKS AROUND CORNER. 317 IS SQUATTED DOWN BEHIND A CONCRETE FOUNTAIN, GUN IN HAND. A FEW FEET AWAY ON THE PORCH OF THE OLD HOUSE ARE THE PERP, A WHITE MAN, MID 30S, BEARDED WITH LONG BROWN HAIR, HOLDING AROUND THE NECK IN FRONT OF HIM A HOSTAGE, A YOUNGER ARABIC MAN. HOSTAGE (shouting) ) Kill him! (a beat) Kill him!

317 Release that man and raise your hands, now!

317 darts from tree to tree, looking for cover.

PERP This man is an AntiChrist! he has to die before he becomes too powerful to stop!

317 shakes and hangs his head momentarily.

317 And who are you?

PERP (proudly) I am the son of man.

HOSTAGE Kill him!

317 Shut. Up! Nobody's killing anybody here.

(CONTINUED)

11.

CONTINUED:

PERP This man must die, or now will be the end of times. Should I do it, or would you prefer to have the honor of serving your God yourself?

He smiles, calm and serene, sure of himself.

349 (O.C.) I got him!

DISPATCH (V.O.) All units, possible drive by shooting on south Thompson near the underpass.

Dispatch, 317. Our suspect here appears unarmed, go ahead and send your units down there.

PERP Helluva world, isn't it? (a beat) Drive-bys, in a little town like this?

HOSTAGE Shoot this man!

PERP Shut. The. Fuck. Up! He tightens his hold around the man's neck.

317 Hey! Hey! Hey! (a beat) Jesus - can I call you Jesus?

HOSTAGE Well, sure, that is my name isn't it? But my friends call me Skippy.

317 Skippy? Really? Ok, Skippy...

HOSTAGE Hey! Hey! Hey! Yourself! I was just kidding about the Skippy thing. A little irreverent, don't you think?

349 (ON RADIO) I'm taking the shot!

317 Barney! That man's not armed!

(CONTINUED)

12.

CONTINUED: (2)

PERP (laughing) Barney? His name is Barney?

349 (O.C.) Hey, bite me Messiah!

349 stands up from behind some bushes and lowers his rifle.

349 (CONT’D) Since when does Jesus Christ make fun of a guy's name? Huh, Skippy?

PERP (containing laughter) I'm sorry, man. Really. But you gotta admit...a cop named Barney? I mean, did you ever think about going by your middle name?

317 Look! Why don't you just let that guy go and we'll all sit down and have a nice talk about Mayberry.

PERP I'm afraid I can't do that. I'm not kidding. This man really has to die.

The Hostage squirms, and the Perp tightens his grip even more. His face turns red from lack of oxygen.

Rick installs an 80-300 zoom lens, starts to snap pictures furiously.

317 Dude! (He lays down his shotgun, holding up both hands.) Loosen up a little bit! He's gonna shit his pants.

349 Why you think you gotta kill that man?

PERP (loosening his grip a little) Well, Barney, it's like this.

This... Asshole...is an AntiChrist.

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

13.

CONTINUED: (3) PERP (CONT'D) And if he isn't killed now, he will come to rule the world and initiate the end of mankind. You don't want that do you? Barney?

317 How do you know he's the AntiChrist? I don't see three 6s on his head. Maybe you got the wrong guy.

PERP I have inside information on these things. And, for the record, I didn't say THE AntiChrist, I said AN AntiChrist. There's a difference you know. There's been a lot of them through the ages. We've managed to destroy each one before he reached maturity. You've just got to trust me. I know about these things.

317 Oh. You mean, being Jesus, and all...?

PERP The title "Son of God" does have its privileges.

349 HA! While ago you said "Son of Man" and now you say "Son of God." Slippin' up there a little aren't ya holy boy!

PERP (to 317) He's precious!

349 Well I don't know about you, buddy, but where I come from, Jesus don't threaten people and call them Aholes. What's to keep us from just rushing you and takin' the both of you down?

(CONTINUED)

14.

CONTINUED: (4)

PERP Well, I'll...break his neck. Why would you guys take his side over me anyway? What are you, pagans or something?

349 Alright, Mister! That's about enough of this crap! Let the guy go!

349 walks toward the perp.

The Perp turns his head to warn 349, then the Hostage stomps his sandaled foot.

PERP Shit!

He lets go of the hostage and hops around on one foot.

Hostage lunges over into 349's arms as 317 tackles the Perp, and drags the Perp to the ground.

PERP (CONT’D) Get off me man! My fucking foot is broken!

317 Rolls the Perp over onto his belly and cuffs his hands behind his back.

317 Well, Hay-seuss, looks like you'll have to save the world another time.

PERP It's your world, man. You're the ones that fucked everything up.

You'll have some s'plainin' to do when those trumpets sound!

349 steps aside to radio in to dispatch. The Hostage walks over to address 317.

HOSTAGE Excuse me. May I go inside and use the restroom? (pointing back to the apartment building)

(CONTINUED)

15.

CONTINUED: (5)

PERP (struggling, trying to get up) Don't let him out of your sight!

317 (pushing the Perp back down) ) Go ahead. But come back here when you're through. We gotta make a report.

PERP No! 317 pulls the Perp back up to his feet.

317 You have the right to remain silent. If you give up that...

PERP Save it! I've heard it many times.

349 So! If you're really Jesus Christ, how come you were so easy for one guy to take down?

PERP I think maybe you have me confused with Superman, Barney. Remember?

I'm always getting my ass kicked.

317 holds Perp by the arm and proceeds slowly to the car. 349 walks beside them, still talking.

349 Sure are a potty mouth, aren't ya?

I don't remember Jesus using all them dirty words. And what about all them thees and thous and all that?

317 Leave him alone, man.

317 opens the back door of the squad car, holding the perp's head down and sets him in the car.

349 No! No! He knows his rights! I want some answers on some of this stuff.

(MORE) (CONTINUED)

16.

CONTINUED: (6) 349 (CONT'D) I'm a Christian, and it pisses me off when some Bozo comes around sayin' he's Jesus Christ!

317 leans over and takes 349 by the arm.

317 (Warning him) We're not alone here, Barney!

THE FRONT SEAT OF THE CAR IS EMPTY. 317 sees RICK by the hedges, a few feet away and yells at him.

317 (CONT’D) Hey! I told you to stay in the car!

40-SOMETHING RICK (raising hands in surrender) Sorry Man. 317 Barney, go check on that AntiChrist, so we can get this report made.

He looks back and glares at Rick.

PERP (under breath, sounding particularly Jewish) He won't be there...I tried to tell you, but did you listen?

Rick runs to his side of the car and climbs into the front seat, planning on talking to the Perp through the wire. He grabs a pen and note pad from his camera bag and turns to look at him, but he isn't there.

40-SOMETHING RICK (to 317 out the window) Hey! 317 (bending down into window) What the...

He jerks the back door open.

317 (CONT’D) Where'd he go?

(CONTINUED)

17.

CONTINUED: (7)

We see 349 running back to the car from the building with an angry black Rottweiler chasing him. It stops at the end of the porch as 349 jumps on the hood of the car.

317 (CONT’D) (nervous) ) Where's the Arab?

349 (gasping for breath) Not there. Must've slipped out the back.

349 wipes sweat from his brow. He looks through the windshield and into the back seat. Where's Jesus?

317 Here's the report: non-occurrence.

Two guys just fooling around. Got it?

349 (quickly nodding head) ) Yeah. Ok. 317 (to Rick) ) Got it?

Rick nods to affirm.

317 (CONT’D) You get any pictures?

40-SOMETHING RICK One roll. Part of one roll.

317 (to 349) ) Meet us in an hour at the coffee shop downtown.

Rick and 317 get into car and drive off.

CUT TO: EXT. PHOTO MAT, NIGHT WE SEE THE POLICE CAR PULL INTO THE PARKING LOT. RICK GOES INSIDE AND QUICKLY RETURNS TO THE CAR. THE CAR DRIVES AWAY. WIPE TO NEXT SCENE:

18.

EXT. PHOTO MAT, NIGHT TITLE OVERLAY: "29 MINUTES LATER" THE POLICE CAR PULLS BACK INTO THE PHOTO MAT AND RICK ENTERS AND QUICKLY RETURNS, HOLDING A PACKAGE. TITLE DISAPPEARS. CUT TO: EXT. COFFEE SHOP PARKING LOT, NIGHT The car pulls into the lot. Rick & 317 get out and go inside.

CUT TO: INT. COFFEE SHOP, SAME 349 sits at a table, drinking his coffee with shaky hands.

317 and Rick sit down.

349 What happened? You never told me what happened.

317 nods to Rick, indicating that he open the photos.

Rick puts the prints, one by one, down on the table.

IN THE PHOTOS WE SEE: 317 CROUCHED BY THE FOUNTAIN, THEN BY THE PORCH, THEN SEVERAL OF THE PORCH. THERE ARE NO SHOTS OF THE OTHER TWO MEN, JESUS AND THE ARAB. Silent, 317 and 349 stare at each other across the table.

349 (CONT’D) No way. He was just a nutcase; and we were just doing our jobs.

317 Then how did he get out of the car, Barney?

349 How do I know? Maybe he's like a...a...a Houdini or somethin'.

(CONTINUED)

19.

CONTINUED:

The waitress stops by to fill up the coffee cups. 317 puts his coffee up to his lips, keeping his eyes on 349.

317 Maybe he'll find him before it's too late.

349 Maybe.

CUT TO: INT. DARK LIVING ROOM, NIGHT BOB, late 40s and unkept with a growing beer gut, lies on his couch in a cloud of cigarette smoke. The coffee table in front of him is piled with empty, crushed Busch beer cans, pizza crusts, used Kleenex and Camel Filter wrappers. A German Shepard is at his feet and a Siamese cat on his beer belly.

A babes-in-prison movie is ending on the television - one about an Egyptian Princess named Roxy.

A SINGLE STRAND OF CHRISTMAS LIGHTS - HALF OF THEM NOT BURNING - LIES ACROSS THE FIREPLACE MANTEL. TITLE OVERLAY: "BOB'S CHRISTMAS MIRACLE" TITLE DISAPPEARS. BOB (to cat) How d'ya like that? Implants, steroids. Those Egyptians sure were advanced weren't they?

CAT Meow BOB I'm sad to see this one end aren't you Spooky? Hey, whadda y'all say we celebrate? It's anniversary night. Three years, just us.

He reaches over, untwists another beer from the six-pack on the table and pops it open. Some foam bubbles out.

(CONTINUED)

20.

CONTINUED:

DOG Bark.

BOB Salue.

FLASHBACK EXT. BOB'S HOUSE, DAY Bob's unmarked police car pulls into the drive way of his modest house. We see him check out the unfamiliar car parked in front with a curious look. He throws out a cigarette butt and gets out of the car.

CUT TO: INT. BOB'S HOUSE, DAY Bob enters the house, still a curious look on his face.

BOB Babe? You home?

He throws his stuff down on the entry way table and walks into the living room. From the hall, a frazzled and dishevelled wife emerges with a Man, adjusting his jacket, behind her.

WIFE Honey! Hey! Um, he was just looking at the plumbing in the bathroom. This is...

BOB Tom. (a beat) That slick car out there don't look much like a plumbing truck.

TOM Ummmmm.....listen I have to get goin'.

BOB Tom. Tom turns back, scared.

TOM Yeah Bob? WIFE How did you know his name?

(CONTINUED)

21.

CONTINUED:

BOB Why don't you ask Tom. She looks at Tom. TOM Bob, things took a different turn.

WIFE What's goin' on?

TOM I love her, Bob. I'm sorry, it was love at first sight or something...

WIFE Tom! TOM Nothing was going on with the therapist. And then... we ran into each other accidentally, and...and I want to take her with me.

BOB Accidentally? I HIRED you to follow her for Christ's sake! What was accidental about that? She slipped and fell on your dick?

TOM I'm sorry. I need her.

Tom looks at her, pitiful.

WIFE I have to go, Bob. I do. I know it's been 26 years and I never thought this would happen but it happened. I'm sorry, really.

She goes back into the hallway and into her bedroom to pack.

BOB Well, you better take the damned dog and cat with you!

TOM They won't allow them through immigration, Bob. BOB What the hell.

(CONTINUED)

22.

CONTINUED: (2)

TOM We're going to Mexico. Maybe for good. She'll be in touch.

They stare at each other until she returns with one suitcase and a purse. Then they leave.

CUT TO: INT. DARK LIVING ROOM, NIGHT Only ashes are left in the fireplace from last year.

Shivering, Bob gets up, grabs a trench coat off a chair and his cowboy boots. He goes out the back door.

CUT TO: EXT. BOB'S BACK YARD, NIGHT Against the house are weeds growing up over a pitiful stack of firewood. Bob finds a frozen rotting log and some sticks and returns back inside. He tries to open the tattered screen door, dropping the log which falls and smashes his big toe.

BOB Goddamn sunuvabitch mutherfucker!

He reaches down, picks up the log, goes inside and the screen door slams behind him.

CUT TO: INT. DARK LIVING ROOM, NIGHT He struggles to make a fire with what he's gathered, pouring a ton of lighter fluid and nearly blowing his face off when it lights.

He removes his coat and boots and resumes position on couch, covering up with the coat. The animals have moved to another room. He flips channels, stopping on "It's a Wonderful Life."

He chuckles.

WIPE TO: BOB HAS DRIFTED OFF TO SLEEP. CUT TO: INT. 50S LIVING ROOM - DREAM STATE A childhood Bob, about 6, sits on a couch in the dark, lit only by Christmas tree lights.

(CONTINUED)

23.

CONTINUED:

Cookies and milk await Santa on the coffee table. He sits, sleepily staring at the chimney, waiting. He perks up when there's a rumbling in the chimney. He stands, waiting for a man in a big red suit to come tumbling out of the small opening. A puff of ashes rolls from the fireplace.

CUT TO: INT. DARK LIVING ROOM, NIGHT The small fire has turned to barely an ember. There is a rumbling noise from the chimney, and the faint sound of bells clinking.

Bob opens his eyes wide and stares at the fireplace, face filled with anticipation.

A puff of smoke and soot comes from the fireplace, and out runs a hissing, screaming cat.

FADE TO BLACK BOB Damn cat.

TITLE OVERLAY: DEREK & DAMIEN GO INTERSTELLAR TITLE DISAPPEARS FADE IN: EXT. ARKANSAS CORN FIELD, DARK OCTOBER NIGHT A light wind blows the naked corn stalks back and forth. In the sky, a faint puff of light illuminates a small patch of clouds. The glow becomes steadily and slowly brighter, as a silver and green orb descends from the darkness and hovers six feet from the ground, dangling like a yoyo on a string.

It spins without making a sound, flashing all the colors imaginable. A portal opens on the bottom that remains stationary, and two shadowy figures tumble out into the middle of the circle of flattened corn stalks beneath. The still silent orb lifts slowly to thirty feet, then shoots into the sky like a bottle rocket.

Over the howling wind, on of the motionless figures, DEREK, a white teenager, begins to speak.

DEREK Dude! Did that just happen?

(CONTINUED)

24.

CONTINUED:

A few yards away, DAMIEN, a black teenager, lifts his head.

DAMIEN How should I know, man, you're the superior one!

DEREK Oh, c'mon, Damien, you're not gonna start with that black and white stuff again are you? After what we've been through? All I said was I read a study on the internet that said black people's brains aren't as big as white people's. I didn't write it!

Damien rises to his feet.

DAMIEN No, Derek! You didn't write it but you sure didn't have any trouble quoting it! What made you want to look up some crap like that anyway?

And, if I'm so inferior, how come I got a four-point and you only got a three-eight? 'Zat make sense to you? And how come we got a black president?

Derek stands up too, feeling the back of his jeans.

DEREK Dude! I never said you were inferior. Just, y'know, ugly!

That's prob'ly why they tossed us out. Prob'ly thought you were a little well done.

DAMIEN (condescendingly) Yeah, that's it.

Damien walks toward the sound of his best friend's voice.

DAMIEN (CONT’D) Either that or they thought your white pasty butt was still raw!

DEREK Yeah, raw. Are we gonna just go with this or do you think we should talk about what happened?

(CONTINUED)

25.

CONTINUED: (2)

He starts to walk across the dark field toward what appears to be city lights. Damien is close behind.

DAMIEN What's there to talk about, man?

The last thing I remember is us running down the street after setting that sack on fire on Ms. Cameron's doorstep and ringing her doorbell.

Derek rubs his eyes.

DEREK Yeah me too. Nothin' else?

DAMIEN Nothin', dude. Not until I was falling out of that...thing. I don't wanna sound like a freak or anything but, y'know, that sure looked like a spaceship.

DEREK Ya think? I guess that edjumakashun of yours is paying off.

DAMIEN So, the way I figure it, we're running down that street...and we get picked up by an alien spacecraft. I mean, dude, that's a pretty big deal! We should tell somebody.

Derek is pressing onward, leading the way, slapping corn stalks out of his path.

DEREK Why don't we hold up on that until we figure out where we are?

DAMIEN Where do you think we are?

DEREK Well, we're not home, that's for sure.

DAMIEN What makes you say that?

(CONTINUED)

26.

CONTINUED: (3)

Derek jerks a, ear of corn off the stalk and sticks it in Damien's face.

DEREK Do you know what this is?

DAMIEN Uh, corn?

DEREK Very good. That's why you have a four-point. Now, do you ever recall seeing a big corn field like this at home in Southern California???

DAMIEN Ok, so we're not home. But maybe we're not too far off...ya think?

DEREK I dunno. (throws the corn off into the darkness.)

Once we get over there, we'll find out.

Derek gestures to the lights of the town which appear to be a couple miles away. They keep walking in that direction, not speaking.

DAMIEN You think there's snakes out there?

DEREK (matter-of-factly) Probably.

DAMIEN Really? They say the snake always bites the second guy.

He grabs Derek by the shoulder and pulls him back to get in front of him.

DEREK (laughing) Well, rattlesnakes don't usually like dark meat, but there's prolly not enough light out here for them to tell the difference I guess.

(CONTINUED)

27.

CONTINUED: (4)

DAMIEN There you go again, dude! While you're back there, why don't you kiss my black..."

DEREK (interrupts) Look!

He grabs onto the back of Damien's shirt. A hundred yards to their right, a vehicle's headlights shine through the cornstalks, at an angle that would end up between them and the town.

DEREK (CONT’D) Let's go!!!

He kicks it into high gear, runs through the field, Damien behind him dropping further and further behind.

DAMIEN Dude! Slow down a little!

DEREK Remember the snakes!

Damien's eyes grow wide and he starts running faster.

START MUSIC "JUNGLE BOOGIE" WE SEE THROUGH DAMIEN'S EYES. DEREK RUNNING AHEAD, THE CORN STALKS PASSING BY IN THE DARKNESS. A RAPIDLY APPROACHING CORN STALK SLAPS ACROSS THE CAMERA'S EYE. CUT TO BLACK FADE IN: INT. 1970S STRIP CLUB WE SEE A PAIR OF SHAPELY TAN LEGS IN RED STILETTOS STRUT ACROSS A STAGE FLOOR TO THE BEAT OF THE MUSIC. WE SLOWLY PAN ACROSS TO A WIDE-EYED YOUNG MAN, SITTING WITHIN A FOOT OF THE STAGE AMIDST THE FLASHING LIGHTS AND HEAVY SMOKE. CHRIS IS A HANDSOME, LONG-HAIRED 19-YEAR-OLD. TITLE OVERLAY: "COPING WITH BASTARD JACK" TITLE DISAPPEARS

(CONTINUED)

28.

CONTINUED:

CHRIS (to himself) Unbelievable!

OFF TO CHRIS' LEFT, SEVERAL FEET AWAY, A FACE COMES INTO FOCUS. BASTARD JACK IS A HEAVY SET BLONDE BEARDED MAN, MID30S, WEARING A HIP 70S STRIPED LONG SLEEVE SHIRT WITH A BIG WHITE COLLAR. A BRAIDED GOLD CHAIN AROUND HIS NECK. ROLEX WATCH. Jack whistles loudly, summoning his "boy" that it's time to go.

Chris spins around on the bar stool to acknowledge his boss.

Takes another sip of his 7-Up and sets it down. As he starts to get up, the dancer grabs him by the hair and pulls him over backwards onto the stage. She leans down and kisses him as the audience breaks into mocking cheers, led by Bastard Jack.

DANCER (softly) Will you be back?

CHRIS I...I don't think so.

DANCER Shame.

She kisses him again and releases him.

CUT TO: EXT. STRIP CLUB PARKING LOT -NIGHT Four older men (30s & 40s), including Jack, sloppy drunk, laugh and taunt Chris as three of them load up into lawn chairs in the back of a brown cargo van. Jack takes the front passenger seat as Chris gets behind the wheel.

CHRIS So, now we can go home?

BASTARD JACK Damn, Baker! I let you drive us to the horse races. Let you collect all my winning tickets for me. Take you for your first time in a Hot Springs strip club...and all you can think of is gettin' home to your sweet little bride!

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

29.

CONTINUED: BASTARD JACK (CONT'D) That stripper's got your sticker pecking out don't she? (a beat) Well, we're gonna fix that. Fuck no, we ain't goin' home. Drive this som'bitch to Little Rock...9th Street. Wake me up when we get there!

Jack leans his had back and shuts his eyes, and Chris pulls slowly out of the parking lot.

CUT TO: INT. BROWN VAN, MOVING - NIGHT Chris looks up at the green sign he's passing under, indicating Little Rock to the right, Memphis to the left. He puts on the left blinker to change lanes and the clicking noise awakens Jack.

BASTARD JACK Right, right, right, right, right!

CHRIS (making the right turn at the last second) Shit! I thought you were out for the night.

The three men in the back of the van start stirring around, awakened by the jerk of the van and the conversation.

BASTARD JACK Goddammit, it's a good thing I woke up! I'dda hadda fire your ass if you drove this som'bitch home!

Jack retrieves a cigar from his shirt pocket, bites off the end and spits it out his window.

CHRIS Man, it's after midnight, and we're still two hours from home.

BASTARD JACK (lighting the cigar) We ain't all newlyweds, son. We're goin' to 9th Street to get some pussy.

Jack leans back over his seat, addressing the three men in back of the dark van, cigar between his teeth.

(CONTINUED)

30.

CONTINUED:

BASTARD JACK (CONT’D) Whattaya say boys? Wanna go down on 9th Street and get some pussy?

Audible approval from the back of the van. Chris sees the sign for 9th Street and jerks the van hard into the turn. Two of the men are slung from their lawn chairs into the van walls.

CUT TO BLACK CUT TO: EXT. ARKANSAS CORN FIELD, DARK OCTOBER NIGHT Derek bursts through the edge of the cornfield, trips over a rock and slides face-first into the dirt road. He looks up in time to see and an old pickup slide sideways to a stop. The dust settles, and Vaughn, a tall John Wayne-looking older man, 45-50, stands looking down upon him.

VAUGHN (southern drawl) Boy! What in the HELL do you think you're doin'? You wanna get yourself killed?

DEREK I'm sorry, mister.

Brushing his hands on his jeans, he stands and gets a better look at the man in the headlights.

DEREK (CONT’D) We were hoping you'd give us a ride into town.

VAUGHN Who's "we?" You got a frog in your pocket?

At that moment Damien comes blasting out of the field, trips on the same rocks and tumbles into the road.

Vaughn looks at him, no expression, then back to Derek.

VAUGHN (CONT’D) Any more of you out there?

DEREK No, sir. That should be about it.

He pulls Damien up by the collar.

(CONTINUED)

31.

CONTINUED:

VAUGHN (a bit condescending) You boys are alright, ain't ya? I mean, you ain't plannin' on muggin' me and takin' my truck are ya?

Damien stands up behind Derek, brushes the dust off his pants, mumbling.

DAMIEN I guess it didn't rain out here.

VAUGHN What's that?

DEREK (interjecting) Nothing - no sir! We've only got learner's permits, sir. We could ride in the back if that'd be better. My name's Derek and this is Damien.

He reaches out to shake Vaughn's hand.

VAUGHN Alright.

(He extends his hand and shakes.)

I'm Vaughn. Vaughn Price. You kids hop in back before I change my mind.

Before the boys are fully in the truck bed, it starts rolling on the dirt road, bouncing them around.

CUT TO: EXT. TRUCK BED, NIGHT, MOVING DEREK Whatta ya think this guy's doin' out here?

He fishes his pockets for his cell phone. Damien's desperately still brushing the dirt off his clothes.

DAMIEN Prolly trolling for young hitchikers to kidnap...should we tell him about the spaceship?

(CONTINUED)

32.

CONTINUED:

DEREK I don't think so. He'd probly think we're nuts and kick our asses.

(He moves his phone around searching for a signal) Damn, no service. Try yours.

DAMIEN Mine must've fell outta my pocket.

DEREK We'll get a signal when we get to that town. I'll call my brother.

DAMIEN Oh, yeah. That's what we should do.

Cause you just know Clint's gonna be dyin' to help us out.

DEREK Get off him, dude, he's not that bad!

DAMIEN Not bad, for an arrogant senior quarterback jerk! Why don't you call Rusty, he's got a car.

(The truck hits a pothole, almost flinging Damien out of the bed.)

Whoa!

DEREK He's not allowed to drive out of town. Maybe we should see where we are first?

CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY, NIGHT - MOVING The truck rolls off the dirt road onto a highway and turns right, drives down a hill, closer to the lights in town. It pulls off into the parking lot of a gas station/store. The sign reads "Hedge's Grocery."

DAMIEN Never seen this place before. Guess we better ask somebody where we are.

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

33.

CONTINUED: DAMIEN (CONT'D) Man, look at those old gas pumps!

Bet they're worth some bucks!

CUT TO: EXT. OLD LOOKING GROCERY STORE PARKING LOT, NIGHT The duo climbs out the back of the truck just before it spins out of the parking lot slinging gravel. Vaughn's long arm hangs out the window with a wave.

DEREK (looking at phone) Still no signal.

A young couple, HARLON and SHIRLEY, mid-20s, walk out of the store and get into a red '69 Malibu. Derek walks fast to the passenger side, ducks down to the open window.

DEREK (CONT’D) Ma'am? My name is Derek Shelby, and that's my friend, Damien Cairo...

SHIRLEY Hi Derek, I'm Shirley Thomas and this is my husband, Harlon. Can we help you with somethin'?

DEREK Well, yes ma'am, I was wondering if you have a phone I could use for just a second.

SHIRLEY (laughing) Well, we don't have it with us, but we live just over there on Morrow Street if y'all wanna ride over with us.

HARLON There's a pay phone right over there, you got change?

Derek looks up just as the store owner flips the "open" sign to "closed" on the door.

DEREK Yeah. I guess we'll try that.

Thanks..hey, this is a really nice ride, looks like brand new. What year is it?

(CONTINUED)

34.

CONTINUED:

HARLON (puzzled) Sixty-nine.

DEREK Man! Did you restore it yourself or did you buy it like this?

The couple looks at each other, laughing.

HARLON I said sixty nine! It ain't that old! We gotta get. Ice cream's meltin'. Ya'll okay?

DEREK Yeah! We're fine. Hey, thanks though.

SHIRLEY You're sure?

DEREK Yeah. Just gotta make a call and wait for a ride. We're good.

The car starts up and rumbles slowly across the parking lot, then burns rubber onto the highway. Damien has walked to the pay phone and lifts receiver.

DAMIEN A dime! Man! This must be some kinda old time novelty store! ...Hey, got a dial tone.

(He pushes the zero and speaks to operator.)

Yes ma'am, area code 661...871, huh? You sure? What, did they change it or somethin? Really? No. No. I'll try somethin' else.

Thanks.

He hangs up, puzzled.

DEREK Whassup?

DAMIEN Um, she says there's no such thing as area code 661..

(CONTINUED)

35.

CONTINUED: (2)

DEREK Dude! What kinda hick town is this?

Where are we?

(He spots a newspaper rack up against the building and walks toward it. It reads The Batesville Daily Guard.")

Well, I guess that answers that question. Those idiot aliens prob'ly meant to take us back to Bakersfield and dropped is in Batesville, instead!

He fishes his pocket for two nickels and drops them into the slot, pulls out the paper and steps into the light to read the front page. His mouth drops open, eyes bug out, breathes heavy.

DAMIEN What?!

Derek hands him the paper.

ZOOM TO: CLOSE UP OF DATE ON PAPER: THURSDAY, OCTOBER 5, 1972 CUT TO: INT. BROWN VAN, DARK CITY STREET, MOVING SLOWLY, NIGHT WE ZOOM BACK FROM A NEWSPAPER LYING BETWEEN THE TWO FRONT SEATS OF THE VAN. BASTARD JACK IS HANGING OUT THE PASSENGER SIDE WINDOW, YELLING AT STREETWALKERS ON THE BUSY STREET. BASTARD JACK Hey baby! How much to take on five of us?

CHRIS (sharply) Four!

A hooker walks toward the van and Jack grabs Chris' arm, signaling him to stop.

HOOKER #1 Y'all the POlice?

(CONTINUED)

36.

CONTINUED:

BASTARD JACK (reaching out attempting to grab her ass) Now, honey, do we look like the POlice to you?

HOOKER #1 Yeah, well, you gotta tell me if you is the POlice! (she hears the laughter from the back of the van and looks back through Jack's window) Y'all need to get somebody else. I ain't INto that!

BASTARD JACK Come on, baby! We'z from out of town. We don't know nobody.

HOOKER #1 (mocking) Oh! Y'all from out of town!

CHRIS (clinching teeth, gripping hard on the wheel) Man, can we just GO now?

BASTARD JACK (ignoring Chris) Ol' Baker over here, he's never fucked a nigger before!

Jack turns to look at Chris. He has a wide open mouth and wide eyes, feigning amazement at his own statement.

Chris lunges for him, but he's restrained by his seat belt.

CHRIS (drawing back his fist) Fuck you man!

The hooker leans into the window before Chris can decide whether or not to hit Jack.

HOOKER #1 Zat right, baby? You ain't never had no brown sugar?

CHRIS Look, lady, don't pay any attention to this guy. He's an asshole!

(CONTINUED)

37.

CONTINUED: (2)

Jack puts the cigar between his big teeth and grins at Chris.

HOOKER #1 Look here, y'all. Go down the street here about two blocks and see if you can find Laverne. She'll take care of y'all.

She backs away from the van, up onto the sidewalk. Chris drops the van into gear and starts rolling.

CHRIS Fuck this! We're going home!

BASTARD JACK Baker! You pull this som'bitch over right up here, or I'll fire your ass!

CHRIS I don't give a shit! I'm going home!

BASTARD JACK There's four of her here, kid. You don't think we can whip your ass and throw you out right here?

One of the drunks in the back grabs Chris by the hair and gives it a tug.

CHRIS Motherfucker! Let go of my hair!

BASTARD JACK (realizing Chris might actually be ready to fight, calmingly) OK, Baker. Just calm down. I'm just kiddin'. We ain't gonna do that. Just pull over right up here and we'll be finished in a few minutes and we can all go home.

CHRIS (pulling over to the curb and stopping) Shit!

Jack leans out his window, calling to another streetwalker.

BASTARD JACK You Laverne?

(CONTINUED)

38.

CONTINUED: (3)

She walks up to Jack's window, unafraid.

LAVERNE Y'all ain't the POlice, is ya?

FADE OUT FADE IN EXT. CITY STREET, NIGHT Chris beats on a corner pay phone with his fist and then slams down the receiver. The nearby van is rocking. As he opens the door to step outside the booth he comes face-toface with the first hooker from down the street.

HOOKER #1 Hey, sugar. I'm sorry you gotsta be in the company of them assholes over yonder!

CHRIS Well, I'm sorry you had to meet 'em.

HOOKER #1 You din't get yo-self none of that pussy, did you, sugar?

CHRIS No, ma'am. I'm just waitin' for them to get done so we can go home.

The hooker laughs.

HOOKER #1 Ah, baby, I knew you wuddn't goin' to, that's why I sent y'all to Laverne. (a beat) You wants me to tell you a little secret?

Chris cocks his head and waits for her to continue.

HOOKER #1 (CONT’D) Laverne? Well, that nigga got da clap!

Chris smiles.

CUT TO: INT. MOVING CAR, NIGHT

(CONTINUED)

39.

CONTINUED:

THREE KIDS ARE ASLEEP IN THE BACK SEAT. MIKE, THE DRIVER, LOOKS STRAIGHT AHEAD, SOLEMNLY, WHILE SISSY STARES ANGRILY OUT THE PASSENGER SIDE WINDOW. IT IS OBVIOUS THAT THEY ARE NOT HAPPY WITH EACH OTHER. TITLE OVERLAY: MIKE & SISSY'S MOST RECENT ROAD TRIP TITLE DISAPPEARS MIKE (quietly, so as not to wake the kids) So, it just takes too much effort for you to tell me what you're so pissed off about. That about right?

SISSY (still looking out the window) I'm not pissed off. I just think it's sad that you find it so distasteful to visit my family on holidays.

MIKE On holidays? On EVERY holiday! If there was a fucking ... brown sock day, we'd be expected to be there for that!

SISSY Michael, you're being ridiculous.

We haven't been home since...

MIKE ...since the last holiday. And the one before that. And the one before that.

Sissy doesn't respond. She lays her head back and closes her eyes.

FADE TO BLACK MIKE (CONT’D) Shit!

FADE IN

(CONTINUED)

40.

CONTINUED:

As the car slows down, Mike leans forward to get a better look out the windshield.

MIKE (CONT’D) We'll be here for hours!

Mike looks over to Sissy, who has fallen fast asleep.

AS THE CAR PULLS TO A STOP BEHIND A SHORT LINE OF TRAFFIC, THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD, WE SEE WHAT APPEARS TO BE MORE LIKE A ROAD RAGE INCIDENT THAN AN ACCIDENT. A MAN OPENS THE CAR DOOR AND JERKS THE DRIVER OUT OF THE CAR AHEAD AND STARTS BEATING HIM. Concerned, Mike puts the car into reverse and turns to look behind him, attempting to back up. Another vehicle, bright lights pulls up on his rear bumper.

Mike turns around again to see the aggressor kick the driver in the head, then reach in and drag a screaming woman out by the hair. Another car is stopped in front of that one.

OFF THE ROAD BESIDE THE FRONT CAR ARE WHAT APPEAR TO BE BODIES, SCATTERED ABOUT IN THE TALL GRASS. BEER CANS. IN THE MIRROR MIKE WATCHES BOTH DOORS OPEN ON THE PICKUP BEHIND HIM. TWO SILHOUETTES APPROACH. Mike turns enough to see his kids asleep in the back seat; then to his sleeping wife. He looks at her as if it may be the last time.

BEYOND SISSY, OUT THE WINDOW A LEATHER-CLAD MAN, VISIBLE FROM HIS SILVER BELT BUCKLE TO HIS MATCHING NECK CHAIN, STOPS BESIDE THE DOOR. Mike hears a rapping on his window and turns to see a similarlooking beast, knocking with his fingerless black leather gloves. The bearded man signals for Mike to roll down the window. He doesn't. The man bends down smiling.

BIKER DUDE 1 (through the glass) License and registration, please.

The biker stands back up and laughs across the car roof to the other one. While he's doing that, Mike rolls the window down. The biker leans back down, face-to-face with Mike.

BOOM! Blood splatters as Biker 1 reels backward onto his back in the grass.

(CONTINUED)

41.

CONTINUED: (2)

As he falls, Mike quickly steps out of the car, leans over the hood and takes aim at the shocked Biker #2. BOOM! The bullet strikes him in the face and he goes down.

Inside the car, Mike's wife and children are screaming.

He turns to see Biker 3 run for the cover of the trees.

BOOM! BOOM! That man falls face-first onto the highway asphalt.

Mike spins around again, anticipating more bad guys. There are none. He takes the few steps toward the car and sits back down to the muffled wimpering and sniffling from his wife and kids. He stares silently off into the woods, smoking gun between his knees.

SISSY (quietly) OK. Let's go back home.

CUT TO BLACK NORA (almost gasping) A dollar a word!

TITLE OVERLAY: "A DOLLAR A WORD" RICHARD Huh? Forty eight...forty nine...fifty!

TITLE DISAPPEARS CUT TO: INT. YOUNG COUPLE'S MODEST KITCHEN TABLE, NIGHT WE PAN BACK FROM A STACK OF ROLLED PENNIES ON THE TABLE. TWENTY SIX ROLLS. RICHARD AND NORA SIT OPPOSITE EACH OTHER, EACH WITH A HALF GLASS OF COCA COLA IN FRONT OF THEM. NORA IS LOOKING AT HER LAPTOP COMPUTER. A SMALL PRINTER IS ON THE TABLE BESIDE IT. NORA This short story competition.

Fifteen hundred dollar prize for a fifteen hundred word story. That's a dollar a word! Do you know what we could do with fifteen hundred dollars?

(CONTINUED)

42.

CONTINUED:

Richard firms up the stack and grins.

RICHARD That's thirteen bucks! Mexican food tomorrow night - if we drink before we go.

NORA (disgusted) You write stuff all the time to that stupid newspaper. They never pay you anything. You could enter this!

Richard starts picking up the coin rolls and stuffing them into a velvet Crown Royal bag.

RICHARD Entering and winning are two different things, babe. For that kind of money, there'll be a lot of people entering.

The small printer rolls out the printed page and Nora rips it out and lays it on the table before Richard. She climbs to her knees on the chair and leans over the table, almost faceto-face with him.

NORA Your van is going to quit running any day. We don't know what it'll cost to get my car out of the shop.

The rent is past due. We'll be lucky if they don't cut off our power tomorrow. (a beat) You can do this!

Richard sighs and leans back in his chair, noticing his Iguana on top of the refrigerator. A clap of thunder outside is followed by the momentary dimming of the kitchen lights.

NORA (CONT’D) I'll do Hamburger Helper tomorrow night. Take ten dollars out of that bag and enter this contest!

Nora picks up her drink and grabs a pack of cigarettes off the kitchen counter before disappearing out the door to the back porch.

CUT TO:

43.

EXT. BACK PORCH, NIGHT, LIGHT ON Nora sits down in a wicker chair, picks up her paperback and begins to read.

CLOSE-UP OF BOOK TEXT "ONCE CALIFORNIA belonged to Mexico and its land to Mexicans; and a horde of tattered feverish Americans poured in. And such was their hunger for land that they took the land stole Sutter's land, Guerrero's land..."

CUT TO: INT. NIGHT. LIVING ROOM, TV SCREEN - SOME SOFT PORN Nora is asleep on the couch. Richard is kicked back in his recliner, scribbling on a yellow note pad.

CUT TO: EXT. DAY. CONVENIENCE STORE PARKING LOT Richard's old van pulls up in front of the store. He gets out and walks inside.

CUT TO: INT. CONVENIENCE STORE, DAYTIME A young purple-haired, purple-lipped female cashier, with facial piercings, rolls her eyes in disgust as Richard sets down a bottle of Coke and plops down the bag of pennies. A few rolls spill out of the bag.

CASHIER You're paying with this?

RICHARD Money, ain't it? And give me two quick picks on the lotto.

CASHIER You want a sack for your Coke, Mister Trump?

RICHARD Yes. Please.

She starts to put the Coke in a plastic bag, after handing him his $10.03 In change.

(CONTINUED)

44.

CONTINUED:

RICHARD (CONT’D) Oh! Could I get paper, please?

CUT TO: INT. NIGHT. LIVING ROOM Nora plops down onto the couch as Richard sits in his recliner. He picks up his copy of the contest entry form from the coffee table and gazes at it.

NORA It's a good story, babe. I think it's one of your best. I feel pretty good about your chances.

He sits quietly, staring at the entry form. Then he starts to laugh.

NORA (CONT’D) What?

August 15. deadline.

RICHARD We've got an August 15

NORA Yeah. That gives it three days to get there. If you mailed it today ... you did mail it today?

August 15.

RICHARD Last year!

Nora looks at him for confirmation that he's not kidding.

Then buries her head in her pillow.

RICHARD (CONT’D) Well, don't give up yet. I've got two chances at this lotto.

He takes the remote and turns up the TV sound a little. The numbers are announced and he studies his ticket for a moment before tossing it onto the table atop the worthless entry form. Then he picks up his Coke, twists the green lid off, and throws it on the table as well.

NORA (grunts as she gets off the couch) Well, at least throw the stuff in the trash!

(CONTINUED)

45.

CONTINUED:

She scoops the entry form and lotto ticket off the table, then pauses as she starts to pick up the bottle cap, lying upside down.

NORA (CONT’D) Babe....

WE ZOOM SLOWLY IN ON THE WINNING AMOUNT STAMPED ON THE INSIDE OF THE BOTTLE CAP. $1,000,000.

ONE OF THE ZEROS ON THE BOTTLE CAP BLURS INTO THE "O" ON THE NEWSPAPER DATE: OCTOBER 5, 1972.

ZOOM OUT CUT TO: EXT. OLD LOOKING GROCERY STORE PARKING LOT, NIGHT A red Camaro with dual back wheels rumbles slowly down the highway where Derek and Damien stare at the paper.

Damien folds and sticks the paper in the back pocket of his baggy jeans.

DAMIEN Hey Bra, it could be worse...

DEREK How's that Cairo? How could it be worse?

DAMIEN Well, at least we're It's not like it's a to Fort Smith. I got there who can put us He's cool. He'll get

in Arkansas. million miles a rich uncle on a plane. us home!

DEREK (ranting sarcastically) Brilliant dude! We can just go home to Bakersfield, no problem! And when we get there, it'll still be 19-friggin'-72! You know what!? My parents were both born in 1972!

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

46.

CONTINUED: DEREK (CONT'D) Maybe we can just go to the hospital and look at 'em through that glass, and I'll just tell my grandparents what happened and they'll let me move in with 'em and help out changing my mom and dad's diapers! What are you, friggin' nuts!

DAMIEN Okay man, okay. All I'm sayin' is there was a way for us to get here, so there has to be a way for us to get back. All we gotta do is figure out what that is. Meantime, why don't we find someplace to get some food? I'm starving.

Derek pulls out his wallet and counts some cash.

DEREK I got thirty-two dollars. How much you got?

DAMIEN Forty...eight. But I've got my ATM card, so we're good if we can find a Bank of America..."

DEREK Ummm, yeah I don't think they have ATM cards in 1972, genius. So we've got, what, eighty bucks to last us...(pensively) maybe the rest of our lives. Maybe we can get jobs or something.

Derek folds up the wallet and puts it back in his pocket, defeated.

DEREK (CONT’D) Looks like all the cars are goin' that way and there's lights up there."

CUT TO: EXT. EDGE-OF-TOWN ROAD, DARK He starts walking south toward town, and Damien follows down a dark road, darkening as the lights from the store disappear behind them.

(CONTINUED)

47.

CONTINUED:

Uphill, they finally reach the intersection of Central and Morrow Street, where the people in the Malibu said they lived. They walk another block and reach Wycough Street, where there's a white house on the right, where the pickup that had given the a ride sat in a gravel driveway. From a vacant lot next door, a yellow '67 Mustang pulls out onto the street, illuminating them with its headlights as they cross Wycough. Although there are no other cars to wait for, the Mustang sits for longer than necessary after they walked past. Needing a ride, Damien decides to walk back to the car.

He leans down into the open passenger window.

DAMIEN Hey, how ya doin'?

The driver, about 17, fishes in the back floorboard for a mislaid 8-track tape, which he finally finds and sits up.

DRIVER Cool, man. What's up?

DAMIEN So you know Vaughn? I see his truck over there.

DRIVER Yeah I know him. He's my girlfriend's dad. Why? DAMIEN Yeah, he gave me and my friend a ride to a store back there, but they were closed. You know a place we can get something to eat this late?

The Driver, 17 year-old Rick, plugs in a tape and a funny looking tubular speaker, surface mounted by the back glass started blaring "I got a freaky old lady name of Cocaine Katie who embroiders on my jeans..." He turns it down so they can hear each other.

RICK It's ten, man. I think the Sweden Creme closes pretty soon. Y'all get in and we'll se if we can get you there before it does.

Damien turns and waves to Derek to come. He opens the door, holding the seat up for Derek to get in.

DEREK You get in the back!

(CONTINUED)

48.

CONTINUED: (2)

DAMIEN I'm not gettin' in the back, you get in the back!

DEREK No dude, you're already there. Just climb in!

The Driver leans patiently on the steering wheel, offering a suggestion.

RICK Shotgun.

DAMIEN Huh? RICK Shotgun. Just call shotgun.

DAMIEN (screaming above Derek) Shotgun!

DEREK No, dude! Just get in the back!

RICK (losing patience) Hey! He called shotgun, man!

Wastin' time! Get your ass in the back and let's go!

Derek obediently does as told. Damien gets in the front and barely closes the door before the Mustang takes off and turns right onto Central Avenue, shifting into second, squealing the tires. Between two big churches and a bigger grocery store they round a curve.

Damien tries to memorize the street signs as they go by in case they need to get back: Ross, Pine, Carter.

A white Polaroid Swinger camera rides on the dash of the car.

CUT TO: IN CAR, SWEDEN CREME DRIVE-IN, NIGHT They turn into the Sweden Creme Drive-In across from the APCO station. Some lights are on and a few cars and motorcycles are there. One of the cars is the red Camaro with dual rear wheels. Inside the car, a girl with long dark hair licks an ice cream cone.

(CONTINUED)

49.

CONTINUED:

DEREK Dude! Check out the hot chick in the dorkmobile! This'll do. Let us out here!

RICK It's closed, man.

He dives slowly through the parking lot and over a speed bump into the bowling alley parking lot behind the restaurant.

DEREK No man! There's five or six cars out there! And I wanna watch her eat that ice cream cone!

RICK Not from around here, are ya? We call that guy Big D. He catches you lookin' at Dianne and your next ride'll be in an ambulance. The place is closed, people are just hangin' out.

DAMIEN Man! I'm starvin'!

RICK I know another place.

He drives slowly past the bowling alley and turns out onto the street. They cross a concrete bridge and go into what appears to be the main part of town.

CUT TO: IN CAR, SMALL TOWN STREET, NIGHT RICK My name's Rick. Who're you guys?

DEREK AND DAMIEN (in unison) Derek. Damien.

RICK Where y'all from? I know you don't live here.

DEREK (takes initiative to concoct story) Fort Smith.

(MORE) (CONTINUED)

50.

CONTINUED: DEREK (CONT'D) We just rode over here with my cousin and a friend...some college guys.

RICK A.C.?

DEREK Huh? RICK Arkansas College. They doing something there?

DEREK Umm, yeah, I don't know what but they said we could cut school and come over with them for a few days.

DAMIEN (interrupts, points across Rick out the window) Hey! ... Oh, sorry, go ahead.

DEREK Anyway, they thought it'd be funny if they took us out in the country and dropped us off, so we'd have to find our way back.

RICK So your cousin's a jerk?

DEREK Yeah, man, you know him? He's a real jerk. We're not even sure where those guys are, but we figure we'll find 'em sooner or later...

The two continue the conversation, which is blurred out from Damien's perspective, as he gazes out the window memorizing street names, and spots the glowing orb in the sky to the west, seemingly tracking the car from a distance. He struggles to keep quiet.

The car takes a sharp turn and Damien gives up memorizing street names. They reach what is probably the biggest intersection in the town and continue straight. The car turns into another parking lot.

CUT TO:

51.

IN CAR, TOMMY'S KINGBURGER PARKING LOT, NIGHT RICK Well, too late. Looks like Van's closed up, too. Y'all shouldn't have wasted so much time fighting over shotgun.

DAMIEN Well what's up with all these cars? ... You guys just sit around in parking lots around here?

RICK I don't know much about Fort Smith, but there's nothing else to do around here.

DEREK What about that place we passed?

The one on the corner by the bridge? It was open I'm sure.

RICK (laughs) Ray's? You guys'd get the shit kicked outta you in there for sure!

DEREK Hey man, we're pretty good at not getting our asses kicked, and I'm starving now!

RICK (mumbles) Your funeral.

He turns around and drives toward Ray's. Derek gazes out the window at the edge of the road.

WE ZOOM IN ON A GUST OF WIND SCOOPING UP DUST & DEBRIS BESIDE THE ROAD. PAN BACK TO NEW SCENE. EXT. DINER PARKING LOT, CLOUDY, WINDY DAY

(CONTINUED)

52.

CONTINUED:

A 40-SOMETHING VERSION OF RICK AND HIS BLONDE WIFE STEP OUT OF A WHITE APV CARGO VAN AND WALK TOWARD THE DINER ENTRANCE. THE WIND IS WHIPPING DIRT AND SMALL DEBRIS FROM THE LOT AND PEPPERING THEIR BACKS. Rick opens the glass door and Becky attempts to hold her skirt down as they step inside.

CUT TO: INT. DINER, DAYTIME, EVERYTHING IS IN SEPIA TONE AS THEY WALK THROUGH THE AIR LOCK INSIDE, BEHIND THEM, DRAWN

BY A FINGER ON THE GLASS IS THE SEGMENT TITLE: "LUNCH AT THE DINER" The juke box is playing "Johnny Yuma" by Johnny Cash. The air is full of smoke from the grill, and cigarettes being smoked by the patrons, staff, cook.

Rick and Becky sit in a booth by the window. A young waitress with jet black hair places two glasses of water on the table and begins to fish for her order pad and pen.

BEHIND THE WAITRESS, ON THE WALL ABOVE THE BAR, IS A SIGN: "WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE SERVICE TO ANYONE." BELOW THE SIGN ARE NEATLY STACKED CANS OF CAMPBELL'S TOMATO SOUP AND SINGLE-SERVING BOXES OF RICE KRISPIES. WAITRESS Whattle ya have?

BECKY Um. I think I'll just have the grilled cheese, and unsweetened tea... with lemon.

40-SOMETHING RICK I'll have the Anthrax Burger, medium well..and a side of Smallpox. (grins, waiting for reaction) WAITRESS (writing on the pad) Cheese?

40-SOMETHING RICK Huh?

(CONTINUED)

53.

CONTINUED:

WAITRESS You want that Anthrax Burger with cheese?

40-SOMETHING RICK Uh. Oh, yeah.

WAITRESS Bowl or cup?

40-SOMETHING RICK Excuse me?

WAITRESS Your Smallpox. You want a bowl or a cup?

40-SOMETHING RICK Bowl'd be nice.

She walks away, still writing.

BECKY OK, smartass. What do you think you're gonna get now?

40-SOMETHING RICK (smiling, impressed) I dunno. But whatever she brings, I'm gonna eat it.

WE ZOOM PAST RICK'S VIEW OF BECKY TO A BOOTH WHERE TWO OLD WOMEN SIT FACING EACH OTHER, SMOKING. THEIR CHROME WALKING STICKS ARE PARKED AT THE END OF THE TABLE. ON TO ANOTHER BOOTH SITS A GREASY MECHANIC TYPE, "DUANE" PATCH ON HIS SHIRT, ACROSS FROM A HEAVILY-TATTOOED WOMAN, BOTH SMOKING. AT THE END WALL, A WAITRESS, SMOKING, DROPPING COINS INTO THE SLOT ON THE PAY PHONE. BACK DOWN THE BOOTHS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE AISLE, CLOSEST TO RICK & BECKY, TWO YOUNGER WOMEN ARE INVOLVED IN AN INTENSE CONVERSATION, SMOKING. ONE OF THEM SPEAKS. WOMAN IN BOOTH (cigarette between fingers, pointing at other woman) If that sunnofabitch thinks he can tell me not to talk to you, he's got another fucking thing coming!

(CONTINUED)

54.

CONTINUED: (2)

BACK ACROSS THE AISLE, BECKY IS LOOKING AT HER NEWSPAPER. WE PAN OUT THE WINDOW BESIDE HER TO THE OLD RAGGED CARS IN THE PARKING LOT. ALL OF THEM DISPLAY SMALL AMERICAN FLAGS, STANDING STIFF IN THE WIND. ONE PICKUP, NOSED UP TO THE WINDOW, HAS A RED/WHITE/BLUE BUMPER STICKER THAT SAYS "THESE COLORS DON'T RUN." RICK'S '93 VAN IS THE NEWEST CAR IN THE PARKING LOT. THROUGH THE WINDOW, EVERYTHING OUTSIDE HAS A SEPIA TONE ALSO. "Johnny Yuma" ends and Merle Haggard's "Fightin' Side of Me" comes on the jukebox.

The waitress places the food on the table. Rick gets a cheeseburger and a bowl of soup. He nods his head in approval.

CUT TO: EXT. DINER PARKING LOT, DAY (FULL COLOR) Rick & Becky open the door to come outside. Behind them the jukebox is blasting "They Call the Wind Mariah," by Tom Jones. Rick has a toothpick in his mouth as they walk back out into the wind, and toward the van.

As Rick reaches through the window to open the door for Becky, a purple mid-90s Honda Civic, blinged out low-rider, rolls by them on the street, blasting a Mexican version of a Metallica song. White scribe writing on the front windshield: "El Loco." A young Mexican man pops out the passenger window and yells something at a homeless man in the bank parking lot on the other side of the street.

MEXICAN MAN Conseguir un trabajo!

Rick starts the van, but holds up on moving forward, seeing the waitress with the jet black hair, running toward them, waiving his cell phone. She runs up to Becky's open window and hands it to her.

BECKY How sweet of you! much!

Thank you so

WAITRESS (smiling, holding her windblown hair) You're welcome. See ya next Monday?

40-SOMETHING RICK Ebola soup?

(CONTINUED)

55.

CONTINUED:

WAITRESS For you, red measles and rice!

She backs away from the van, and then turns to run back to the building, holding down her tiny white apron and skirt as the wind tries to blow it up.

Rick puts the van in drive and proceeds toward the street.

BECKY You know...she looks good in color!

WE SEE THROUGH THE VAN WINDOW AS IT APPROACHES THE STREET, ZOOM PAST THE HOMELESS MAN IN THE BANK PARKING LOT AND UP TO THE FRONT DOOR OF THE BANK. ZOOM THROUGH THE BANK DOOR TO A WINDOW OUTSIDE A SMALL CORNER OFFICE INT. BANK, DAY Senator Weston, 60-something fat cat in a pin-striped suit is sitting erect in the visitor char, bank officer (Older Chris) on the other side of the desk. Weston is laughing, ala Foghorn Leghorn.

Ann is a teller at the window, waiting on an older customer, John.

As Older Waitress (40-something) waits in line, Older Becky (late 50s) walks back to the vault to get something for her.

Out in the lobby, Sissy sits across the table from Nora, at her desk.

NORA Oh, my god, Sissy! I don't think I could have lived through that!

Were you terrified?

SISSY I would have been, I guess, if I'd been awake. It was all just like a dream, and I really didn't know what was going on until it was over. It's nothing to wake up to, I'll tell you. But, hey! I'd really like to forget it. Let's talk about something happy!

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

56.

CONTINUED: SISSY (CONT'D) What are you gonna do now that you're a millionaire?

NORA Well, it's nowhere near a million after they take the taxes, but it's enough for Richard and I to both go back to school. But, come on!

That's nothing compared to what you went through!

Sissy leans out and looks over toward the teller windows to make sure there are no customers to wait on. Only one old man in line, being helped by another teller. Mark, the VP, is walking two bonded couriers back to the door, patting them on the back.

As Mark unlocks and opens the door to let the couriers out, a 50-something uniformed delivery man (Older Dan) with a trunk squeezes in, apologizing to Mark.

The delivery man, towing a trunk, walks up behind the male customer being waited on. Sissy jumps up to help him at the third window.

SISSY I can help you over here, sir.

Sir? Sir? Older Dan lays down the trunk and steps over to Sissy's window. He reaches into his coveralls with both hands and pulls out two semi-automatic pistols. Sissy's jaw drops, eyes wide open.

OLDER DAN Ladies and gentlemen, this is a bank robbery! Do as you're told, and everybody will be home, safe and sound, before you know it!

TITLE OVERLAY: "THE BANK JOB" Older Dan turns a gun on Mark, the VP, who is back-stepping toward the door.

OLDER DAN (CONT’D) You, sir! Please! Over here.

He points to a chair in the lobby.

TITLE DISAPPEARS

(CONTINUED)

57.

CONTINUED: (2)

OLDER DAN (CONT’D) Ladies, please join him.

Dan walks to the window to the loan officer's office and taps on the glass, alerting the oblivious two that a robbery is in progress.

As he stands up, Older Chris, the loan officer, slides his hand under the desk and activates the silent alarm. The two men walk into the lobby, hands raised.

SENATOR WESTON What's the meaning of this, son? Do you know who I am?

Older Dan walks back toward the trunk.

OLDER DAN This, Senator Weston, is what is referred to as a daring daylight robbery. I ... am the robber, and you ... are a hostage.

All the hostages sit in the lobby chairs, hands up.

OLDER DAN (CONT’D) Y'all can put your hands down.

That's gotta be uncomfortable. I hate holding my hands up over my head like that. You know, like when you're painting a ceiling or something? Damn! Wears me out. It ain't like any of you has a gun or anything...I mean, none of y'all has a gun, do you?

Nobody says anything. Hands still up.

OLDER DAN (CONT’D) (less friendly) Lemme ask again. Does anybody have a gun?

COLLECTIVELY No. No gun.

OLDER DAN OK then, put 'em down. Relax. I'm not gonna kill anybody unless I have to. Now, how many of you set off the alarm?

He looks into the eyes of each of the hostages.

(CONTINUED)

58.

CONTINUED: (3)

OLDER DAN (CONT’D) Come on! I know you've got those buttons. It's your job! Who did it? (looking at Sissy) You? SISSY No! I was walking over here to help you, remember?

He points the gun at Chris, the loan officer.

OLDER DAN You then! Are you good enough at your job to have pushed the button before you came out here?

Older Chris nods his head.

OLDER CHRIS Yeah. I pushed the button.

OLDER DAN Good man! Conscientious employee!

I'm sure there'll be a little somethin' extra in the ol' Christmas stocking for you this year! Your bosses always love you, don't they?

ZOOM IN ON OLDER CHRIS' FACE ZOOM OUT ON YOUNG CHRIS' FACE INT. 1970S WAREHOUSE COUNTER AREA, CLOSING TIME ROBBIE Where's everybody at? I'm not checkin' in all this shit by myself.

JERRY (glancing up out the overhead door) Over in that field.

(CONTINUED)

59.

CONTINUED:

THROUGH THE OVERHEAD DOOR IS A FIELD WITH A WOODED AREA IN THE MIDDLE. CHRIS What the fuck's goin' on over there?

JERRY Jack and Greg just took the one-ton over there. Shimp got the 3/4 stuck tryin' to pull Mackie's Jeep out of the pond.

ROBBIE Would it be out of line to ask why the hell Mackie's Jeep was in the pond?

JERRY (grumbling) Who the hell knows? Prob'ly thought those big tires would make it float. Shimp says it's all the way under water. He tried to winch it out and pulled himself in up to the cab.

ROBBIE Shimp drunk?

JERRY No. But the Bastard and Greg were pretty well on their way to shitface city. We're gonna have to finish up checking off this inventory and close up when we get these customers outta here.

CHRIS Fuck! I got band practice tonight.

I gotta get out of here! Why do they gotta pull some shit like this every Friday?

JERRY (matter of factly) I s'pect it's 'cause that truck comes in every Friday and on the tail end there's always a couple cases of booze.

Jerry takes a drink of his whiskey and water.

(CONTINUED)

60.

CONTINUED: (2)

ROBBIE I'm not doin' it! I done got my ten hours in today, and my wife says she wants to get pregnant tonight.

If I wanna be in on it, I gotta get home!

Jerry pours some more whiskey into his glass.

JERRY It's gonna be your ass.

Robbie slams his clipboad down onto the counter and stomps toward the door.

ROBBIE Fuck him if he can't take a joke!

I'z lookin' for a job when I found thissun!

He slams the door behind him.

TITLE OVERLAY: "THE POND INCIDENT WITH BASTARD JACK" JERRY (calmly, to Chris) I guess you better get busy then.

Go ahead and get started. I'll handle the counter.

Chris groans, picks up the clipboard and disappears back into the warehouse.

TITLE DISAPPEARS ANALOG WALL CLOCK SHOWS 5:38. HANDS FASTFORWARD TO 8:59 Chris leans on the counter. Writing up the last of his inventory notes. Shimp (a little older than Chris) walks in the door, exhausted.

SHIMP They're really drunk over there.

I've about had all of 'em I can take. Goin' home. Can you just go over there and check on 'em before you leave? I'm afraid somebody's gonna drown.

(CONTINUED)

61.

CONTINUED:

CHRIS They haven't got the Jeep out of there yet?

SHIMP Shit no! The dumb bastards have got three trucks stuck in the pond now.

CHRIS (sighs) I'll go check on them. But I'm not gonna stay and babysit their dumb asses!

SHIMP (walking to the door) That's good enough. If they all get killed after you leave it's their own damn fault.

He closes the door behind him, glancing back at Chris for final approval that he's leaving.

CUT TO: EXT. FIELD WITH POND, NIGHT Chris walks up an embankment, out of the grassy field into a wooded area. The moon is full. He hears country music, laughter and loud talking in the woods surrounding the big pond.

FROM THE TOP OF THE EMBANKMENT WE SEE THE HEADLIGHTS OF THREE OR FOUR VEHICLES IN THE WATER. BASTARD JACK IS PISSING ON THE CAMPFIRE. THE ONE-TON FLATBED TRUCK IS WEDGED BETWEEN SOME TREES, JUST SHORT OF THE WATER, HEADLIGHTS SHINING. Mackie is crawling over the top of the Jeep's hood, holding the cable and hook, looking for someplace to attach it. He yells back at the drunks on the bank.

MACKIE Could one of you drunk sonsabitches take some slack out of this cable?

He is being generally ignored.

Chris slides down the hill, waves at Mackie and climbs into the cab of the one-ton to work the winch. On Mackie's signal, he slowly tightens the cable until the signal to stop. Then, he turns down the blasting radio and walks to the water's edge.

(CONTINUED)

62.

CONTINUED:

MACKIE (CONT’D) (cable end in hand) If this don't work, I'm gonna leave it and call a wrecker tomorrow.

He takes a deep breath and disappears under the murky water.

Chris is watching the water, waiting for Mackie to re-appear, and he feels someone tugging on his long blonde hair.

Greg is shorter than Chris, about 10 years older, and outweigh's him by about a hundred pounds.

GREG (slurring, sloppy drunk) You don't like country music, do ya, hippie?

CHRIS (sternly) You know I don't like people touchin' my hair, man. You need to let go!

Greg doesn't say anything. He tightens his grip and smiles.

CHRIS (CONT’D) You gonna let go of my hair, man?

GREG (slobbering) What if I cut this sheeit off?

CHRIS (standing perfectly still) Motherfucker! You don't be pullin' my goddamn hair!

He feels a second tug as Bastard Jack grabs a handfull, snickering.

BASTARD JACK Got a knife, Greg? Let's give this hippie a trim and turn her into a man.

CHRIS (practically screaming) Let go of my motherfucking hair!

They laugh and tug harder.

(CONTINUED)

63.

CONTINUED: (2)

BASTARD JACK Whatcha gonna do about it, little girl?

CHRIS (a little calmer) I'm gonna count to three. If you don't let go of my fuckin' hair, you're gonna find out what I'm gonna do about it."

The snickering and snorting continues.

CHRIS (CONT’D) One...

BASTARD JACK You're not gonna do anything, hippie. I'll fire your ass!

CHRIS You're gonna have it to do, then.

Two...

Both grips tightened. Chris doesn't bother with "three."

Quickly, he jerks away and spins around, punching each of the drunks in the chest with his palms. Bastard Jack freezes up, wide-eyed, with his mouth open and his hands up in an obvious surrender.

Greg clinches his teeth and takes a swing at Chris' head, way too slow, as Chris easily pulls back out of the way. As the big arm comes by, Chris grabs his shoulder and slings him down, face-first in the mud. He get's up, and the whole process is repeated two more times.

Chris looks at Bastard Jack, who continues to stand there, frozen, without speaking, and then he starts to walk away.

Greg stumbled up out of the mud and comes after him again; and again ends up in the mud.

CHRIS (CONT’D) Stay down, Greg!

He walks away again; and again Greg comes after him. This time, Greg stays down in the mud, blowing bubbles.

Again, he looks at the frozen-stiff Bastard Jack. Then he walks up over the embankment and disappears on the other side.

CUT TO:

64.

EXT. WAREHOUSE PARKING LOT, NIGHT Chris sees Bastard Jack's yellow company car, parked inside the fenced back lot. He pulls the gate closed, padlocks it inside. Then he gets in his white '73 Monte Carlo and drives away.

FADE TO BLACK FADE IN EXT. PANORAMIC COUNTRY SCENE, SCATTERED FARMHOUSES, DAWN WE SEE FARM HOUSES SCATTERED ACROSS THE WOODED HILLS; A LIGHT FOG. WHIPPOORWILLS ARE CALLING. TITLE OVERLAY: "STEINBECK'S MORNING CONSTITUTION" TITLE DISAPPEARS CUT TO: INT. BEDROOM OF OLD FARM HOUSE, DAYTIME An older man, John, is in his big feather bed, covered up to his chin, trying to stay warm, staring at the cracked plaster ceiling. He swats a fly off his nose.

FLY ON CEILING Fly takes off.

John throws back the covers and places his bare feet on the wooden floor, feet dancing around trying to find his house shoes. He finds them and puts his feet inside; gets out of bed; grabs his robe off the bedpost and puts it on as he walks out of the room.

CUT TO: INT. KITCHEN OF OLD FARM HOUSE, DAYTIME John walks in from the hall, yawning, tying his robe. His wife, Mary, is standing at the stove, cooking breakfast.

AS MARY STIRS THE EGGS IN THE PAN, THE LONG ASH ON THE CIGARETTE BETWEEN HER LIPS FALLS INTO THE MIX. SHE CONTINUES TO STIR AS IF NOTHING HAD HAPPENED. MARY How many eggs?

(CONTINUED)

65.

CONTINUED:

JOHN (grumbling, looking around the room for the fly) One. MARY (spinning around to face him) One? D'ju say one?

John continues to walk slowly to the door. He puts his hand on the knob, then stops to answer her.

JOHN Yep. One egg.

MARY You never eat juss one egg in yur life! I already got five in here and I cain't eat more'n two! You know that.

JOHN Well then, why'd you break all them eggs afore ya ast me how many I wanted?

His head nods as he goes back to sleep standing there.

MARY You always eat three. Ever day for thirty years you eat three scrambled eggs fer brefuss!

JOHN How many?

MARY Three!

JOHN (looking away, fighting back a grin) And, how many'd ya fix me this mornin'?

MARY (growing angrier) Ah fixed three of the damn things!

He continues to look down, holding the door knob, planning his response.

(CONTINUED)

66.

CONTINUED: (2)

JOHN Gimme three then. (opens the door) Fry 'em.

CUT TO: EXT. OLD FARM HOUSE, DAYTIME John pulls the door shut as he steps outside. He hears the beginning of Mary's response before the door closes.

MARY You sunnuva...

John bundles up and strolls slowly along the path to the outhouse, mumbling to himself. It's cold outside, patches of snow on the ground along the path.

JOHN (mumbling) Don't know how a fly could live in this. . . Got in my house, that's how. Wouldda been dead now for sure if I hadn't burnt my wood to keep the little bastard warm. Next spring, afore the snow's gone, I'm gonna git me some screens on them windurs. That'll keep them varmits out.

He arrives at the outhouse, opens the door and goes inside.

In a moment, through the half-moon cut-out in the door, cigar smoke and steam rises.

CUT TO: INT. KITCHEN OF OLD FARM HOUSE, DAYTIME John takes a seat at the breakfast table and picks up his steaming cup of coffee.

MARY (joking) Everthin' come out OK? JOHN (unamused, picking up his fork) Fair to midlin'.

THE PLATE HOLDS 3 SCRAMBLED EGGS, SOME BACON AND A PIECE OF TOAST. WE ZOOM IN ON THE FLY PERCHED ON THE PIECE OF TOAST.

(CONTINUED)

67.

CONTINUED:

THE FLY TAKES WING ZOOM OUT TO NEW SCENE: INT, UPSCALE MODERN KITCHEN, EVENING MARK and ANN, well-dressed, mid-30s yuppie types are arguing at the kitchen table. An open book is on the table.

MARK (almost screaming) You're not following me! All I'm saying is if people back in those days would have seen something...anything technological from today, they would have considered anybody that came out of such a thing - a space shuttle, or an airplane, or even a fucking car to be some kind of god! Does that make sense to you? If they were to go to etch pictures of the things they saw on their cave walls, or wherever the fuck they lived, they'd probably look like this!

ANN (condescendingly) These pictures don't show anybody coming out of an airplane or a car.

These pictures show people with actual wings attached to them.

They're clearly angels - not spacemen.

MARK (throws up his hands in frustration) OK! OK. Let me try this one more time.

ANN You said...

JOHN Wait! Just listen for a minute, OK? TITLE OVERLAY: "THE QUARREL" TITLE DISAPPEARS

(CONTINUED)

68.

CONTINUED:

ANN Go ahead. You better get it out before lightning strikes you dead right there. If you don't believe in God, that's your own business.

But I don't have to believe in this bullshit and go to Hell.

MARK I'm not saying I don't believe in God. What I'm saying is that I don't necessarily believe in the God of Moses, or in the literal translation of the Bible.

ANN No! You said everything they wrote about in the Bible was some shit about men coming from outer space.

And if you don't believe Jesus, and the angels they talk about in the Bible were just what they said they were, then that's got to mean you don't believe in God! The Bible is the word of God. Either you believe that, or you don't!

Mark sighs heavily and takes another drink of his beer.

MARK (calmly, quietly) Who do you think wrote the Bible?

And when?

ANN You're the fucking expert. Why don't you tell me?

MARK People wrote it. Ancient people.

You think everybody back then knew how to write? You think they all graduated from public school with a C average or something?

ANN Don't be an asshole! Asshole.

MARK I'm just sayin', stories were told for who knows how long before they ever got picked up by somebody who knew how to write them down.

(MORE) (CONTINUED)

69.

CONTINUED: (2) MARK (CONT'D) Could have been generations. Do you think some things might have been lost in the translation?

ANN Some of them, sure! But look at all the books in the Bible, and they all pretty much say the same stuff.

You're saying everybody got the wrong translations, and it all just ended up as one long story?

MARK What I'm saying, is that they didn't have the same frame of reference we have today. If we see somebody step out of a flying machine, we can understand that, and we don't necessarily think that person is a god, or sent by the gods. They see it, and they freak the fuck out, and when the story does get to somebody who knows how to write, they put it down like they hear it. I mean, the guys who did write it down had never seen a spaceship either. And there was a shitload of other books that could have been in the Bible that the Council of Nicea took out of it.

They could have told completely different stories.

ANN See! Here's where I think you're off on this. How do you know there were other books that they took out?

MARK Because archeologists have found some of them.

ANN And how do you know they were originally in the Bible? And, if they were, how do you know they didn't take them out because those were the books that were fake, and they only wanted to include the books that were true?

(CONTINUED)

70.

CONTINUED: (3)

MARK (volume rising again) How the hell could they know? They made all these changes some three hundred years after the time of Jesus! None of those guys were alive thousands of years before, when all that stuff was supposed to be happening. All they knew about it was what was told in the stories they had at the time.

ANN (blows a puff of air past her lips) And all you know about it is what you see on that fucking History Channel. How do you know they're not lying about it?

MARK (pauses, confused) Why would they lie about it?

ANN Why would the people who put the Bible together lie about it?

MARK (fighting back rage) Are you fucking kidding? It was done at the order of a Roman Emperor. Don't you think he might have something to gain by manipulating the people? It ain't like the History Channel's trying to take over and rule the world.

They show you the pictures of the artifacts and the structures and the drawings. Do you think they use trick videography? What possible reason would they have for doing that? With all the communication that's available in the world, don't you think they'd be called out by now by people who know better?

Ann sits quietly for a moment, stirring her vodka tonic.

(CONTINUED)

71.

CONTINUED: (4)

ANN I just wish you'd never read that damn "Chariots of the Gods." That's when you started with all this shit. What I'd like to know is, if they were here thousands of years ago, why aren't they still around today? I mean, like you said, there's all this mass communication, and everybody's got digital cameras and cell phones that take pictures and video...how come we don't see these spaceships on the news every night?

MARK You're kidding. Are you kidding?

They do get pictures and video.

Every time somebody turns up with one, the government comes up with some bullshit weather balloon explanation. What about all the birds that fell out of the sky five thousand of them - on New Year's Eve? The government tells us they got woke up by fireworks and flew into buildings in the dark?

ANN (hands to her head) Oh, God, Mark! Surely you're not suggesting that they got zapped by a spaceship! If you start saying stuff like that in public, we're gonna have to move! Most of the people we know already think you're about half nuts.

MARK Well? What else did they fly into?

Skyscrapers, in Beebe, Arkansas?

ANN (frustrated) Aaarrgh! I'm going to bed. You better do the same. Donald's out and you've got to open at the bank tomorrow.

She leaves the room without a goodnight kiss. Mark takes another drink of his beer and looks down at the book on the table.

(CONTINUED)

72.

CONTINUED: (5)

THE IMAGE ON THE PAGE SHOWS A BLURRY, OUT-OF-FOCUS MULTICOLORED OBJECT, HOVERING ABOVE AN OLDER TWO-STORY BRICK BUILDING AT NIGHT The image comes to life and the object disappears over the building.

CUT TO: EXT. COMMERCIAL STREET, 1972, NIGHT DEREK, THOUGH THE MUSTANG WINDOW, WATCHES THE OBJECT DISAPPEAR OVER THE BUILDING. No traffic. The Mustang stops on the road beside Ray's Cafe.

RICK OK, dumbasses, get out. I hear the chili dogs are good.

Derek tries to push Damien's seat forward to get out, but Damien still hasn't opened the passenger door.

DAMIEN So, is it a black thing, about going in there?

RICK Well, I'm white, and I don't go in there. I've never known of a black guy to go in there. At least, not any that lived to talk about it.

Damien turns around to address Derek.

DAMIEN Hey, man! Quit pushing! I'm thinking.

DEREK Me too. I'm thinking I'm gonna die if I don't get something to eat!

Damien leans up to try and get a look through the restaurant's windows.

RICK You guys make up your minds!

Somebody'll be comin' up behind us any minute.

Damien takes a deep breath, opens the door and starts to step out.

(CONTINUED)

73.

CONTINUED:

DAMIEN I'm hungry too. Thanks for the ride, man.

Derek climbs out of the back seat and Rick starts squealing down the road before the door is even closed.

DAMIEN (CONT’D) Did you see that up there? (nodding toward the building where he had seen the orb) Derek ignores the question, as if he doesn't hear it.

DEREK Smells good! You want me to just get us some stuff to go? You can wait out here.

DAMIEN Nah. That ain't right, man. What would Martin Luther King do?

DEREK He'd prob'ly go in. But, then, this is 1972, and he's already dead.

DAMIEN No, dude. Screw that! I'm goin' in!

DEREK OK. Your funeral.

CUT TO: INT. GREASY SPOON, NIGHT The boys walk in and the half dozen patrons stop their conversations to stare at them. The proprietor, leaning on the bar talking to a customer, stops and stares at them for a moment before walking down to greet them, seated at the bar, near the door.

PROPRIETOR You boys from outta town?

Damien is looking around, nervously.

DEREK Yes sir! We're from Fort Smith.

PROPRIETOR Uh huh. Couple of grizzlies, huh?

(CONTINUED)

74.

CONTINUED:

Damien takes the comment as some kind of radical slur. He looks down at the counter, gritting his teeth.

DEREK Yeah. Yeah! Just a couple of grizzlies, in town for that thing out at the college.

CUSTOMER 1 (seated near the other end of the bar) Don't look old enough to be college boys.

DEREK No! We're in junior high. We came here with my brother. He's in college.

The customer takes a bite of his ham sandwich.

PROPRIETOR What can I do you for, fellers?

DEREK Cheeseburger and fries?

PROPRIETOR (to Damien) How 'bout you, boy?

Anger shows in Damien's eyes. He starts to speak; Derek lays his hand on his shoulder and answers for him.

DEREK Just make it two of each, please.

PROPRIETOR Drink?

DEREK Just whatever you've got that's sugar free and caffeine free.

The man grins and eases off toward the grill.

DEREK (CONT’D) (to Damien, whispering) Just calm down, man. It's gonna be fine.

(CONTINUED)

75.

CONTINUED: (2)

DAMIEN If you listen real close, you can hear banjo music in here. But it does smell good, huh?

DEREK We'll eat, and we'll get outta here. OK? DAMIEN (cutting his eyes around the place at the hostile faces) What are we gonna do when we leave here, man?

DEREK We'll find a cheap hotel and get some sleep. Figure it out tomorrow.

Maybe we're just dreaming.

DAMIEN (sarcastically, too loud) Yeah! That's it! We're both having the same dream His shouting draws more stares from the all-white clientele.

The proprietor slings down two glasses of ice water before the boys.

CLOSE UP ON DAMIEN'S ICE WATER. ZOOM OUT. THE BOYS ARE FINISHING UP THE LAST BITES OF THEIR BURGERS. The proprietor lays down a single hand-written check, $2.80, in front of Derek. He quickly swipes it up.

DEREK I got this, man. He lays a $20 bill on top of the ticket. The man grabs the ticket and money and starts toward the register. He stops half way there, turns around and comes back.

(CONTINUED)

76.

CONTINUED:

PROPRIETOR (laying the $20 bill down in front of Derek) What the hell is this?

Derek, thinking maybe the man can't make change for the $20: DEREK Oh! I'm sorry sir. I've got some smaller bills, but I was hoping I could get some change, for later.

PROPRIETOR (sarcastically) You want some smaller bills in change? You want Monopoly money or three dollar bills?

DEREK (confused) Just regular money.

The proprietor taps on the big face of Andrew Jackson.

PROPRIETOR Does this look like what y'all use for money in Fort Smith?

Derek looks closely at the bill, realizing it's a 2009 series. Getting it, he stands up nervously and reaches to his back pocket.

DEREK Oh, sir, (faking a laugh) my stupid brother gave me this as a joke. Let me get some of these smaller bills...

Derek bolts to the nearby screen door, pushing it open as he runs outside. Damien falls backward off the bar stool and follows.

CUT TO: EXT. SMALL TOWN MAIN STREET, NIGHT Derek and Damien run up the sidewalk. The proprietor and two of his customers, old white men, run out the door and give chase.

The boys turn up a dark side street, increasing their lead. A beat up pickup, coming from the opposite direction, slides sideways in front of them, blocking the road.

(CONTINUED)

77.

CONTINUED:

They stop, and see the three men catching up. Two more men get out of the pickup, surrounding them.

They both stop, hands on their knees gasping for breath.

DEREK Got any ideas, Mister Four Point?

Damien looks up at him, starts to answer.

DAMIEN (looking over Derek's shoulder, wide-eyed, surprised) What the...

THERE IS A BLINDING WHITE FLASH OF LIGHT. DISSOLVE TO: INT. BANK, DAY Chris responds to the robber's question.

OLDER CHRIS Yeah, dude, they always love me.

OLDER DAN (to Sissy) You, sweetness. I'd like for you to open up this trunk, please.

Sissy gets up from her chair, walks to the metal trunk beside the robber and flips the latches.

OLDER DAN (CONT’D) The following people will please stand up and disrobe.

He points to each of the men with his gun: the two male bank employees John, the customer, and the senator.

OLDER DAN (CONT’D) You, you, you, and you.

He looks at all the seated hostages and selects the attractive late-40s, female customer with jet black hair and eyelashes (Older Waitress).

OLDER DAN (CONT’D) And you.

(CONTINUED)

78.

CONTINUED:

SENATOR WESTON Son, how many times has this been tried? You know it always ends badly. The snipers are probably already on their way here.

OLDER DAN Yes sir. Thank you for your concern. Will you please take your clothes off? You can leave your underwear on...for god's sake...but shed those brown socks.

Sissy looks into the open trunk at the well-packed costumes and fake plastic guns.

OLDER DAN (CONT’D) (to Older Becky) Ma'am? I'd like you to start carrying those big bundles of cash out of the vault. You're going to put them into this trunk as soon as (looking at nametag) Sissy, here, sets all this stuff out on the floor. And, please, don't pick up any bundles with those nasty ink bombs in 'em. I'm gonna have you fan through each bundle as you put it in the trunk.

Sissy starts laying the items out of the trunk as Becky goes into the vault. The four men and the waitress begin to slowly disrobe.

OLDER DAN (CONT’D) Sissy, toss each of these people a costume before they catch cold, will ya?

Sissy begins to toss the bundled red and blue costumes to Weston, Chris, Mark, John. When she picks up the last one to throw to the waitress, Dan stops her.

OLDER DAN (CONT’D) Hold up! Is that all of them? I thought there were six.

SISSY That's it!

She holds up the last package to show him there isn't another beneath it.

(CONTINUED)

79.

CONTINUED: (2)

OLDER DAN (to Waitress) Well miss, I guess you can put your street clothes back on. (a collective groan of disappointment from the men) Becky walks out of the vault, arms loaded with bundles of cash.

SISSY What about this one?

OLDER DAN I'm sorry. Would you please take it out of the package and lay it across the back of that chair?

CLOSE UP OF DAN'S SMILING FACE ZOOM OUT DAN AND THE FOUR SELECTED MEN ARE WEARING SPIDERMAN COSTUMES, EXCEPT FOR THE FACE MASKS. Becky is fanning stacks of money in front of Dan, then placing them neatly into the truck. Around the trunk lay the toy guns, some tape, rope, handcuffs, bottles of glue, a few garage door remotes, and a small black metal box.

OLDER DAN (squinting to read the name tags) Nora...and...Ann, Would you please each pick up a bottle of superglue and two of those pistols? Miss (to the waitress), I'd like you to go draw those curtains and that shade on the window.

We hear the sounds of sirens approaching.

OLDER DAN (CONT’D) Ladies, what I'd like you to do is glue one of those pistols into each of their right hands. Just a few drops. If you put too much on there, it won't stick. And, fellas, you need to grip onto the handles and hold tight 'til the glue sets up.

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

80.

CONTINUED: OLDER DAN (CONT’D) I'm gonna check you in a few minutes and make sure it works; and if the guns aren't stuck good you're no use to me, and I'll have to shoot you. Understand?

Dan begins to pull down his mask. The phone rings.

OLDER DAN (CONT’D) Sissy, will you get that?

SENATOR WESTON (not looking so proper in his Spiderman suit) I see what you're doing here, son.

Very clever plan. It may get you out of here, but you won't get far!

Ann whispers to the Senator and he leans into her ear to explain.

OLDER DAN (into phone, jovially) Hello!

BOB (V.O.) This is Lieutenant Bob Wood with the Arkansas State Police. What should I call you, sir?

Dan slides down between the bank counter and the gathering of hostages with the phone.

OLDER DAN You can call me...Parker.

BOB (V.O.) OK, Parker, good. Very good. I don't suppose you're just gonna come out with your hands up, are you?

OLDER DAN Ha! You're crackin' me up, here, Bob! BOB (V.O.) Just checking. I guess you're the one in charge. Can you tell me if anybody's hurt?

(CONTINUED)

81.

CONTINUED: (2)

OLDER DAN No. Nobody's hurt. (lowers the phone and looks to the crowd) Is anybody hurt?

The crowd collective mumbles a "no."

BOB (V.O.) That's good, Parker. Very good. How many people are in there?

OLDER DAN I'm glad you approve, Bob. Well, let's see. There's me and Stark, and .. six, seven, eight other folks.

There is a long pause on the phone line.

BOB (V.O.) What is it, exactly, that you want, Parker?

OLDER DAN (laughing) Well, I wanted to leave here with a shitload of money before you guys got here. But, since that didn't work out too well, and since you're here, let's do it like in the movies. I want a helicopter. But it needs to be a big one, like a Huey, because there are six of us, including the senator, who need to go for a ride.

Another rumble from the crowd. Dan looks at them and winks.

BOB (V.O.) Where do you think I'm gonna get a Huey, Parker? We don't have one in the State Police.

OLDER DAN Bob, Bob, Bobby! You know as well as I do that there are three of them at the National Guard Armory out there at the end of town.

They'll let you borrow one, I just know it! Give it a shot! I'll give you fifteen minutes.

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

82.

CONTINUED: (3) OLDER DAN (CONT'D) Call me back then...Be sure to call me back then, Bobbo, or Stark is gonna have to shoot one of these people.

He hang up the phone and it starts ringing again immediately.

He lets it ring as Becky fans another stack of money for him to check. He nods his approval.

OLDER DAN (CONT’D) Thank you, Becky. You've gotta be getting tired. Why don't you have a seat over there? Did you count that, Becky? How much do you think there is?

OLDER BECKY (taking a seat) About eight hundred thousand, I think.

OLDER DAN (sitting, laying his head back against the counter wall) Wow! That's more than I make in a whole month at work! Thank you, Becky! Thank you!

A few moments of silence before anybody speaks.

MARK Excuse me...Parker?

OLDER DAN (awakening from a daydream) Um...yeah. Whassup?

MARK Who is Stark?

OLDER DAN You know, dude, Tony Stark.

Ironman.

MARK Where is he?

SENATOR WESTON That's one of us, you idiot!

(CONTINUED)

83.

CONTINUED: (4)

Mark turns to the senator. Through the mask, his eyes convey "Good luck with that loan application."

MARK (to Dan) What are those remote controls for?

OLDER DAN The black box.

He doesn't elaborate.

MARK What's the black box?

OLDER DAN I've always wondered leave the vault door open, but you've got there chained to the

why y'all standing wide those pens up counter.

MARK What's in the black box?

OLDER DAN Bomb. (he slides up the wall to his feet) Y'all can get up and stretch your legs if you want to. But stay close and don't be talking to each other. I don't need any heroes to come up with some plan to rush me or something.

Nora, John, Senator Weston, and Chris stand up and move around. Dan selects one of the remotes from the pile and sticks it into his Spiderpocket.

OLDER DAN (CONT’D) Sissy. You're my favorite, you know? Once they've stretched out a little, I want you to glue one of these in each of their left hands...as far as they'll go, like this...cool?

MARK I don't get it, man. What's the plan?

The senator drops his masked head and groans.

(CONTINUED)

84.

CONTINUED: (5)

OLDER DAN (waiving his gun in the direction of the senator and Mark) Go ahead and tell him.

SENATOR WESTON (to Mark) Have you ever seen a movie? We're all going out with the money. All five of us. We'll walk together to the helicopter, each holding a gun, and a remote control that will set off the bomb here in the bank if we drop it. They can't shoot, because we'll all look alike, and even if they shoot us all, somebody's gonna drop the remote that will detonate the bomb.

MARK (eyes wide through the mask) But we can't drop them because ...

Oooh! I get it! That's a great plan! Where's the helicopter going?

The senator glances at Dan for the answer.

DAN Airport.

JOHN I ain't never been in a plane. What if I get sick and throw up in this mask?

Sissy starts gluing the remote into Chris' hand SENATOR WESTON Where's the plane going?

Dan moves closer to Sissy to approve of the gluing process.

OLDER DAN Morocco.

Morocco?

Morocco?

SISSY Why Morocco?

Where is

(CONTINUED)

85.

CONTINUED: (6)

SENATOR WESTON Because, Morocco has no extradition agreement with the United States.

OLDER DAN Very good, Senator! Smart man. I take it you're not in the Tea Party. But, that's only a bonus.

Truth is, that's where my Jeanni ran off to with some rich bastard to live like a princess. I'm gonna get her back.

NORA Awww! That's so romantic!

The phone rings again. Dan jerks it up angrily.

OLDER DAN I told you fifteen...

Glass shatters. An explosion in the center of the lobby. A bright flash.

BRIGHT FLASH FILLS THE ROOM CUT TO: INT, BEDROOM, DAYTIME PAN BACK FROM THE FLASH. IT BECOMES A CEILING LIGHT 50+ Rick, face-up on the bed, stares at the light as he brings the phone to his ear.

50+ RICK Yeah.

OLDER 317 (V.O.) Mr. Baber, this is Lieutenant Parker at Springdale Police Department. Do you remember me?

Rick wipes his face, trying to awaken from his nap.

50+ RICK Um...

(CONTINUED)

86.

CONTINUED:

OLDER 317 (V.O.) About ten years ago. You were riding with me writing stories, taking pictures, and we had an ... experience?

50+ RICK 317? Yeah, sure! You made lieutenant? That's great, dude. I didn't even know you were still around.

OLDER 317 (V.O.) Still here. I wouldn't be if I'd ever told anybody about that call.

50+ RICK What about Barney? Is he still on the force, too?

OLDER 317 (V.O.) He's here. Still my partner. We're both detectives now.

50+ RICK Dude! That's great! (wipes his nose with a Kleenex) So, what's up?

A moment of silence.

OLDER 317 (V.O.) He's back. (a beat) He was spotted outside a bank on Sunset. ASP has a hostage situation there. He was outside, and they say there was some kind of flash bomb that went off and he disappeared.

50+ RICK Which bank?

OLDER 317 (V.O.) The one across the street from The Diner.

50+ RICK Shit! My wife works there!

Rick throws off the sheet and starts looking for his shoes.

OLDER 317 (V.O.) I didn't know that. It's OK. Nobody is hurt.

(MORE) (CONTINUED)

87.

CONTINUED: (2) OLDER 317 (V.O.) (CONT'D) We figured, under the circumstances, you might want to go with us. We're almost to your house now.

50+ RICK You're sure nobody's hurt?

OLDER 317 (V.O.) That's what we're told. Everybody inside is fine.

Rick finds his shoes and steps into them, then walks quickly toward the door.

50+ RICK I'm on my way out now.

CUT TO: EXT. RICK'S HOUSE, DAYTIME Rick comes out the front door, tripping over a cat as he pulls it shut behind him. He runs to the unmarked black car, waiting in the driveway and climbs into the back seat.

CUT TO: INSIDE POLICE CAR, DAYTIME 50+ RICK My wife works there, dude! Did any of the employees get out of the bank?

317 drops backs out of the driveway.

OLDER 317 Don't know. We understand there are 8 hostages.

50+ RICK Shit! She's gotta be in there, or she would've called.

OLDER 349 Well you ain't got nuthin' to worry about 'cause Jesus Christ is on the scene!

Rick starts to respond to 349, but 317 beats him to it.

(CONTINUED)

88.

CONTINUED:

OLDER 317 Barney!

317 leans back to address Rick.

OLDER 317 (CONT’D) Listen, ASP is in charge of this situation. And they'll give it up to the FBI as soon as they arrive.

We're not gonna have much to say about what goes on there.

50+ RICK What's the deal with the robber?

Do they know who he is?

OLDER 317 (flipping on the siren) Not yet.

CUT TO: INT. BANK, DAY PEOPLE ARE HOLDING THEIR EYES. THE FLASH SUBSIDES AND THEY ALL STRUGGLE TO SEE. In the center of the lobby stands the angelic classical form of Jesus, white robe, sandals, a faint glow about him. He turns, smiling softly at Dan. JESUS Dan, what are you doing, dude? I thought we had this all worked out!

Dan blinks his eyes, trying to clear them; turns the gun on Jesus.

OLDER DAN What the fuck?

JESUS You might not have thought I was listening, but I was. If you would have just stayed cool for another week, I was going to get you to Morocco. I've had some bad experiences in the middle east and I had to get myself psyched up for it.

(CONTINUED)

89.

CONTINUED:

OLDER DAN And you couldn't have told me this, like, an hour ago?

JESUS Man, you might not believe this, but my job is really timeconsuming. I was getting to it as fast as I could...Spiderman?

Really? He's a good guy. Why would you want to tarnish his name by making him a bank robber?

OLDER DAN It's the old red suit. On sale.

Nobody wants it anymore.

MARK Excuse me! I'm the vice president here, and this is my bank. Could somebody please tell me what the hell is going on?

JESUS Mark, Mark, Mark. Of course it's your bank. We're all here for a reason. YOU're here for a reason!

MARK Did my wife put you up to this?

Ann sits quietly, stunned.

SENATOR WESTON Yes, this whole situation was carefully orchestrated by your wife. How the hell did you get this job, anyway?

JESUS Dan, just put down the gun before somebody accidentally gets their face blown off, like Marvin on Pulp Fiction. I know you don't want to hurt anybody. I'll make sure nobody leaves until we get this all straightened out.

NORA Would it be OK if I just left now?

This was going to be my next to last day, but I think I'm done with this place!

(CONTINUED)

90.

CONTINUED: (2)

JESUS Sure! Go ahead.

OLDER DAN Whoa! (pointing the gun at Nora) I'm not giving up my hostages!

JESUS (calmly) Just her. You've still got seven more. She's rich now. She doesn't need this shit.

Dan shrugs and waves her toward the door.

OLDER DAN (to Mark) Lock the door behind her.

JESUS (to Nora) Keep your hands high and hit the ground as soon as they order you to.

All the hostage start making the case for their own release.

JESUS (CONT’D) Hang on! Hang on! We'll all be out of here soon enough! Let's all just chill and enjoy the moment, shall we? I mean, here's something you can tell your kids and grandkids about.

OLDER BECKY (still sitting) Can I just call my husband? Just to let him know everybody's OK? Dan starts to speak, but is interrupted by Jesus.

JESUS Your husband? The photographer? OK. Everybody have a cell phone? Call your loved ones now and tell them you're fine...you're in good hands...and you'll all be home in time for a late supper. One call.

Then lay your phones over here so we can finish up.

(CONTINUED)

91.

CONTINUED: (3)

OLDER DAN (laying gun on the counter) Well, shit! Who's fucking robbery is this, anyway?

CUT TO: INSIDE POLICE CAR, DAYTIME Rick answers his cell phone.

OLDER BECKY (V.O.) Hey! You're not gonna believe this!

50+ RICK I know, I'm outside with the cops.

Just pulling up.

OLDER BECKY Well, you don't know the half of it. While this guy was robbing the bank, Jesus popped in and he's sort of taken over. He says we'll be out of here soon.

50+ RICK I believe you. Remind me you a story when you get do what you're told, and anything to get yourself

to tell out. Just don't do hurt.

OLDER BECKY It's gonna be fine. For some reason, I don't even feel afraid.

We only get one call and I have to surrender my phone. I'll see you soon.

The line goes dead.

50+ RICK (to 317) He's in there. She says he's taken control of the situation.

OLDER 349 Oh! That's just great! Now Jesus Christ is a friggin' bank robber.

He's in charge of a robbery. Well, that's just friggin' wonderful!

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

92.

CONTINUED: OLDER 349 (CONT'D) This is gonna set Christianity back a thousand years.

CUT TO: EXT. BANK PARKING LOT, DAY Dash light flashing, the unmarked detective car pulls into the lot and up beside a State Police cruiser. Lt. Bob Wood, leans across the roof of his car, cell phone in hand. He is surrounded by a dozen uniformed officers.

OLDER 317 (out the window, to Bob) What's the situation?

BOB He just let a hostage go. She says there are four men and four women still in there, plus one robber...and another guy who magically appeared, telling everybody he's Jesus. Suspect's planning on bringing everybody out disguised in Spiderman outfits, holding fake guns, so we won't be able to pick him out. But Jesus is trying to talk him out of it...or some such shit. Fuck! I should have retired last year!

OLDER 317 Wow. We get all the nuts lately, huh?

BOB (bringing phone to his ear) Hang on a minute, I'm gonna call him...Parker! It's Lt. Wood. Thank you for letting that hostage go.

It's going to take a little more time on the helicopter, but I wanted you to know that I'm working on it. I don't suppose you could send us out another one...just to show good faith?

CUT TO:

93.

INT. BANK, DAY OLDER DAN (pacing nervously) How the hell should I know? My fucking robbery has been hijacked by some field hippie with flash bombs. You wanna ask him?

He tosses the phone to Jesus.

JESUS Hello? This is JC speaking. How may I help you? (a beat) Yes, that was me outside a few minutes ago. Well, no, I'd rather not give out any trade secrets. Let's just say that I did get inside. (a beat) My demands? Love one another! And, Bob, I just wanted to let you know, she's still in Cozumel, but she has the hives really bad, and she's totally miserable. So, that should make you feel a little better.

He turns off the phone and throws it back to Dan. JESUS (CONT’D) Let's give them a show of good faith. Let's let another one go, Dan. It's fun!

OLDER DAN Sure! Why not? You're just gonna whittle away my hostages until nobody's left and let 'em come in here and take me.

JESUS Dude! I told you I'm going to get you to Morocco, didn't I? If you can't trust me, then...

OLDER DAN (cutting him off, pointing to John) You! Get the fuck out of here!

The old man, dressed in his Spiderman suit, starts to walk to the door, but Jesus calls to him.

(CONTINUED)

94.

CONTINUED:

JESUS John? That's one of my favorite names, you know? You came in here to get a loan to purchase screens for your house, didn't you?

JOHN Yessur. I reckon I did.

JESUS And about how much do you think those screens will cost?

JOHN It don't seem right, but they tell me them screens'd cost about ... six ... hunnerd dollars.

JESUS (snapping back) John! How much?

JOHN (dropping his head in shame) Aawww! Four hunnerd.

Jesus walks to the trunk load of money, counts out $500 in 20s and hands it to John.

JESUS Put this in your shoes so they don't find it when they question you.

MARK Hey! You can't just go giving the bank's money away!

OLDER DAN Great! Just great!

JESUS It's five hundred bucks, Mark.

Besides, this is Dan's money now you already gave it to him.

OLDER DAN Well, if it's my money, why the hell do you get to give it away?

(CONTINUED)

95.

CONTINUED: (2)

JESUS Dan...it's the right thing to do.

You've got a lot of money here.

This is just small change. You should consider yourself lucky that you're even still alive. This is a constitutional carry state. All these rednecks can carry guns anywhere they go - even church!

Dan throws up his hands and takes a seat next to the waitress. She puts her hand on his shoulder.

OLDER WAITRESS (softly) It'll be OK. Mark follows John to the door, lets him out, and re-locks it.

SENATOR WESTON Are you going to be giving us all money, sir? I happen to find myself in urgent need of twenty thousand dollars.

MARK I swear to God, if you give him twenty thousand dollars, I'll...

JESUS Relax, Mark. Nobody's gonna give him twenty thousand dollars...Senator, you're going to have to wait your turn, please!

You're ... Jewish, aren't you?

SENATOR WESTON Well, yes, by marriage. But I don't see what that's got to do...

JESUS Senator! Please take a seat. We'll call your number when it comes up.

(Holds up his hand dismissively) Senator Weston sits down in a huff, on the other side of the waitress.

OLDER WAITRESS (to Senator) I work in the diner across the street. You used to come in there for coffee a lot.

(CONTINUED)

96.

CONTINUED: (3)

SENATOR WESTON So? OLDER WAITRESS So, I'm just wondering if you ever leave more than a quarter tip, or if there's just something about me you don't like.

CUT TO: EXT. BANK PARKING LOT, DAY (GETTING DARKER) Bob closes his phone and looks over toward 317, confused.

BOB Who IS this guy? And how he hell did he get inside that bank?

OLDER 317 Bob, when this is over, I'm going to tell you a story. I've dealt with this guy before.

BOB (squinting, concerned) Why don't you tell me now? The sonnuva bitch obviously knows shit about me that he shouldn't know.

Bob's phone rings again before 317 can respond. He puts the phone on speaker.

JESUS (V.O.) Bob! I've got this fabulous idea!

We want to document this event for posterity. I believe you have an old acquaintance of mine out there a photographer - and I have his wife in here.

Lt. Wood looks over at Rick, camera bag, photographer vest.

BOB Yep. I guess so. How the hell did you know that? He just drove up.

JESUS (V.O.) Just a lucky guess, Bobbo. Here's my proposal. If you'll send him in here to take pictures, I'll release Miss Becky to your capable hands.

(CONTINUED)

97.

CONTINUED:

OLDER 349 Oh, so now we're negotiating with terrorists? We're not supposta do that. 'specially some idiot that thinks he's Jesus Christ!

Bob looks at Rick again.

BOB I can't ask you to do this, sir.

Rick tries to get out of the police car, but there is no door handle.

50+ RICK Let me out of here!

BOB (opening the car door for Rick) OK. He's coming in. Send her out first.

JESUS Yeeeeeah...riiight. You've seen Rio Bravo! Start him walking this way, and I'll start her walking that way. They can meet in the middle as they pass each other. And he better not go grabbing her and jumping off the bridge!

BOB There's no bridge, sir. Only flat asphalt between you and us.

OLDER 349 Oh! I get it! But, was that Rio Bravo or El Dorado? I always get them two mixed up. Which one had Dean Martin in it? Or...was that Rio Lobo?

317 bows his head and rubs his eyes.

OLDER 317 Barney, could we talk about this later?

(CONTINUED)

98.

CONTINUED: (2)

BOB (to Rick) Just walk slowly with your hands up. Are you sure you want to do this?

Rick nods, raises his hands and starts walking slowly toward the bank. Becky appears through the door, walking toward him. As they meet in the middle, Becky speaks quietly.

OLDER BECKY These guys are both nuts, but I don't think they're really dangerous.

50+ RICK Tell 317 everything you know. Just him.

As Rick reaches the door, somebody inside opens it so he doesn't have to break stride.

CUT TO: INT. BANK, EVENING Rick walks in and Mark closes and locks the door behind him.

JESUS Picture dude! Been a long time!

Rick sets his camera bag down and unzips it. A 9mm Glock is pushed up against his ear.

OLDER DAN You do that real slow, man.

JESUS Dan! He's not a cop. Trust me. I know him.

MARK (to himself) Why's he keep calling Parker 'Dan'?

SENATOR WESTON (to Mark) Shuttup!

OLDER DAN (to Jesus) Shuttup! This is my holdup, and I'm the one with the gun.

(MORE) (CONTINUED)

99.

CONTINUED: OLDER DAN (CONT'D) You're screwing everything up!

Where the hell is my helicopter?

Rick freezes, not knowing what to do. Looks around the room as Dan and Jesus get face-to-face.

Mark walks over to a corner and gets into a silent argument with Ann. Sissy sits, uninterested, on a counter, filing her fingernails. Chris leans against a wall, thumbing through a magazine. Senator Weston is sitting, puffed up, in a chair with his arms folded. The waitress is next to him, gazing longingly at Dan. 50+ RICK (to Dan) I heard the trooper out there yelling at somebody about getting a chopper.

OLDER DAN Well, for your sake, he better hurry up. I'm getting a little bored with this shit.

Dan puts the gun down.

50+ RICK Nobody told me it was a costume party.

OLDER DAN Shit! I shouldda got that old man's suit before he left! Dammit!

Dan turns to Jesus.

OLDER DAN (CONT’D) Will you just do whatever the fuck you're gonna do, so I can get on with my robbery?

JESUS Patience is a virtue. We'll be done here soon.

50+ RICK I have a question.

JESUS Speak, my child.

(CONTINUED)

100.

CONTINUED: (2)

50+ RICK Last time I took pictures of you, you didn't show up in them. I'm just wondering why you wanted a photographer.

OLDER DAN He's a fucking fruitcake, that's why!

JESUS Whattaya mean, I didn't show up?

I'm not a vampire, for my sake!

50+ RICK You weren't there, dude. We looked at the pictures as soon as they were processed and you just weren't there.

JESUS Oh! (laughing) You were shooting film back then! Well, of course I didn't show up on film. But these will be digital, right? No, it's all cool now.

50+ RICK I don't understand wh...

JESUS Come on, everybody, let's get a picture! (motions all the hostages over) You can show these to your grandkids someday.

TITLE OVERLAY: "GEAUX TIGERS" TITLE DISAPPEARS The increasingly disinterested hostages slowly gather into place. Jesus, in the back row, has his arms around Sissy and the waitress; the Spidermen; Dan holding his gun.

JESUS Everybody say Jeeezus!

Dan rolls his eyes just as the picture is snapped.

(CONTINUED)

101.

CONTINUED:

JESUS (CONT’D) Get a couple more. Somebody might have blinked.

Rick shoots a few more pics, then Jesus pushes his way out like an excited school kid.

JESUS (CONT’D) Can we see them now? Can you show us?

Rick hands him the camera.

50+ RICK Push this, then scroll using this.

JESUS SCROLLS THROUGH THE PICTURES AS RICK WATCHES OVER HIS SHOULDER. EVERYONE IS VISIBLE BUT JESUS. THERE'S A GAP WHERE HE SHOULD BE. JESUS What the hell? What does this mean?

50+ RICK I don't know dude. But I told you.

JESUS Oh, my dad! Am I a vampire?

He puts his hands on his head and begins to pace, revealing his forearms. On one is a tattoo of a Les Paul guitar. On the other, in fancy script: Geaux Tigers."

SENATOR WESTON What in THE HELL is that?

Jesus doesn't realize he's being spoken to for a moment.

JESUS Huh? SENATOR WESTON That crap on your arm! (pointing) JESUS Oh, this?

SENATOR WESTON Yes. That! Do you have any idea where you are, son?

Jesus looks over to Rick.

(CONTINUED)

102.

CONTINUED: (2)

JESUS He called me "son." That's funny.

What's that make him?

50+ RICK Daddy vampire?

SENATOR WESTON This is Razorback country! You get caught with a tattoo like that and you'll be crucified!

Jesus cocks his head to one side to admonish the senator.

JESUS Really? Is that the best word you could come up with?

SENATOR WESTON Well, why on God's green earth would you want to be an LSU fan, anyway? That's not going to do much for your reputation among the good church-goin' folk around here. I can promise you that!

Jesus looks back at the camera screen.

JESUS Well, at least it didn't show up in the pictures.

SENATOR WESTON I'm not kidding, young man. This is serious business. You owe these Razorback fans an explanation for this nonsense. For a man in your position to openly endorse one football team over all the rest seems a bit foolish, don't you think?

Chris speaks without looking up from his magazine.

OLDER CHRIS Not me.

SENATOR WESTON What's that?

OLDER CHRIS I said he doesn't owe me an explanation.

(MORE) (CONTINUED)

103.

CONTINUED: (3) OLDER CHRIS (CONT'D) I'm not a Razorback fan. I played ball at UCA. I'd show you my Bears tattoo, but it's under all this costume shit. It's purple, too.

Doesn't bother me that he's a Tigers fan.

ANN (to Jesus) I went to the University of Florida. How 'come you're not a Gators fan?

JESUS It's that suck-up Tebow. I just can't stand that guy!

SENATOR WESTON These traitors notwithstanding, this is hog country. If you're going with an SEC team, why on earth would you choose LSU over the Razorbacks?

JESUS Are you kidding, dude? Two-deep with NFL caliber talent? A renegade style of football? They create a phenomenal turnover ratio for opposing offenses. Remember Honey Badger? That grass-eating coach?

And, let's face it, those Cajuns know how to turn water into wine!

Besides, I really got to like N'awlins back in '05 when I was helping clean up after that bitch, Katrina. (turns to Senator Weston) Didn't see you down there, by the way.

SENATOR WESTON Those people got what they asked for. They could have left before the storm, but they chose to stay.

Jesus drops is head.

OLDER CHRIS You really are a douchebag, aren't you? But then, I knew that way back before you were a senator. You and your buddy, Jack.

(CONTINUED)

104.

CONTINUED: (4)

Senator Weston glances back at Chris, looking confused.

CUT TO: INT. BROWN VAN, NIGHT YOUNG CHRIS, IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT, LOOKS BACK THROUGH THE SMOKE IN THE BACK OF THE VAN AT A YOUNGER SENATOR WESTON, LYING ON HIS BACK, WITH LAVERNE THE HOOKER RIDING HIM LIKE A MECHANICAL BULL. CUT TO: INT. BANK, EVENING SENATOR WESTON (to Jesus) If you were so big on New Orleans, why aren't you a Tulane fan? LSU's not in New Orleans.

JESUS Exactly! But at least they've got the balls to play Tulane. Something like a hundred games between them.

How many times have your Razorbacks played another in-state team? And, to answer your question, Chris, the good senator had a roommate and best friend in college who was, in fact, the very same 'Jack' of whom you speak. They recently partnered up and both of them invested every penny they had into a new venture selling digital versions of the King James Bible to rich conservative groups all over the country...even though they had no legal copyright to do that.

OLDER CHRIS Figures.

SENATOR WESTON How could you possibly know...

OLDER DAN Listen! Chopper's coming!

Dan runs to the window and carefully parts the curtain to look through the crack.

(CONTINUED)

105.

CONTINUED:

OLDER DAN (CONT’D) What the...that's not a chopper.

Rick goes to the window and leans over Dan's shoulder, looking out.

JESUS It's the best I could do on short notice. Morocco bound, bitches!

ANOTHER BLINDING FLASH OF LIGHT FILLS THE BANK. WHEN THE FLASH SUBSIDES, RICK AND DAN ARE LYING SIDE-BY-SIDE IN FRONT OF THE WINDOW. They get up and sling the curtains open. Everyone inside the bank rushes up to get a look out the window.

EVERYTHING OUTSIDE IS FROZEN IN TIME, LIKE A PHOTOGRAPH. POLICE LIGHTS STOPPED IN MID-FLASH. CARS STOPPED ON THE STREET. ACROSS THE STREET THROUGH THE WINDOW AT THE DINER, A BURGER IS FROZEN IN MID-AIR AS THE COOK FLIPS IT WITH HIS SPATULA. The only thing moving is the silver and green orb in the sky, spinning like a giant yoyo on a string.

OLDER CHRIS (gazing out the window) I wonder if this could get any weirder.

MARK Ha! (shaking Ann by the shoulders) What about that? Whatta you got to say about that, Miss Spaceships-arebullshit?

Ann shoves him away, and continues to look through the window.

MARK (CONT’D) Honey, it's OK. Look! (pointing at Jesus) You were right, too! (to Rick) Does this show up in the pictures?

JESUS Daniel, your ride is here. Gather your precious money. It won't stay like this for long.

(CONTINUED)

106.

CONTINUED: (2)

OLDER DAN This is it, then? I can just go?

They'll take me to Morocco?

JESUS Anywhere you wanna go.

Everybody looks out the window as Dan hurriedly closes up his trunk, uprights it, and starts for the door. He stops beside the waitress.

OLDER DAN (to Jesus) Can I take anybody with me?

JESUS Well, I'm going. Anybody else that wants to go is welcome, but you can't force anyone. You don't need any hostages now.

Dan looks at the waitress, smiles and raises his eyebrows, questioningly.

She claps her hands and runs up and embraces him.

OLDER DAN (looking at the group) Anybody else?

SENATOR WESTON Nothing but Muslims over there. No place for me.

Everyone sighs relief.

Mark looks at Ann. She shakes her head. He turns to Dan and does the same.

SISSY I've had enough excitement to last a lifetime. I think I'll just go home and take a bath.

OLDER DAN (to Chris) How 'bout you, man?

OLDER CHRIS No, I'm good, man. I don't speak Moroccanese.

(CONTINUED)

107.

CONTINUED: (3)

OLDER DAN Suit yourselves.

He takes the waitress by the arm and drags the trunk toward the door. Senator Weston yells at him and he stops.

SENATOR WESTON Hey! What about that thirty thousand?

OLDER DAN Write a book!

Dan continues to the door. Senator Weston turns to Chris.

SENATOR WESTON That's not a bad idea! If I do write a book, will you back me up on this story?

OLDER CHRIS (sarcastically) Oh, yeah. I'll back you up.

Chris winks at Jesus.

CUT TO: EXT. BANK PARKING LOT, NIGHT Dan and the waitress walk out, holding hands, Dan dragging the trunk; followed by Jesus, then the rest, moving slowly through the frozen scene.

For a moment, Jesus jumps up and down clapping, yelling.

Go Tigers!

JESUS Whoo hoo!

FADE TO BLACK. TITLE OVERLAY:

"THE DEPARTURE" FADE IN: EXT. BANK PARKING LOT, NIGHT

(CONTINUED)

108.

CONTINUED:

THE GIANT GLOWING YOYO DANGLES JUST A FEW YARDS ABOVE THE PARKING LOT. Rick walks behind Jesus and the waitress, furiously snapping pictures. Mark is behind him, talking out loud to himself.

I knew it!

MARK I knew it!

When the four are within a few yards of the ship a portal opens on the bottom and two shadowy figures drop out, landing on top of the S.W.A.T. Van beside Bob's car.

Derek rises up to his knees atop the van.

DEREK Dude! You'd think they'd come up with a better way of dropping off passengers.

Damien pops up beside him.

DAMIEN If you could run faster, we'd prob'ly be taking some other form of transportation.

The two boys climb down off the van, looking curiously at all the frozen figures around them.

DEREK Hey, look! (pointing at the Diner across the street) Maybe we can get something else to eat over there. I don't think we're in Batesville anymore, Toto.

Hearing that, Rick lowers his camera.

50+ RICK You guys! Come here a minute, will ya?

The boys stroll over toward Rick.

DAMIEN Mister, I know this will sound like a crazy question, but could you tell us what today's date is?

50+ RICK November 29, 2012.

(CONTINUED)

109.

CONTINUED: (2)

DEREK Yes! This is a bank? Where's the ATM? Rick nods his head, realizing where he's seen he boys before.

50+ RICK Bad experience at Ray's Cafe?

DAMIEN How'd you know about that? You weren't in there, were you?

50+ RICK I dropped you off there...in my yellow Mustang.

DAMIEN/DEREK (in unison) Rick!?

DEREK What happened to you, man? You're so...old. That was only, like, half an hour ago.

50+ RICK (laughing) Half hour for you. Forty years for me!

DAMIEN Back to the future, dude!

DEREK But, we're not home yet, are we?

Jesus walks up behind the boys.

JESUS Dudes! I'm sorry. These guys (nodding toward the ship) really suck at navigation. When we get back on, I'll have 'em drop you off at home. I'll show them the way. I am the way...and the life.

DAMIEN So, you're a better navigator than them? How can we be sure? I'm kinda tired of getting jacked around.

(CONTINUED)

110.

CONTINUED: (3)

JESUS Are you kidding? I found my way to the United States two thousand years ago. Like, way before Columbus. Ask Mitt Romney!

Derek leans over Damien's shoulder and whispers.

DEREK See? I told you he was white.

A blue beam shines from the ship down to the parking lot.

JESUS (to Dan) I guess the door is opening. Are you sure this is what you want to do?

Dan and the waitress look at each other, then Jesus, and nod, smiling.

JESUS (CONT’D) Do you mind if I take somebody along? There's a guy here who's been looking for a miracle for a long time; and after we drop y'all off, we're going to take a little ride of our own.

OLDER DAN Not a problem, my man!

Jesus walks over to the frozen Bob, picks him up over his shoulder, and starts carrying him toward the blue beam.

DAMIEN Dude! He's really strong!

Rick has his arm around the frozen 349 as Jesus walks by.

50+ RICK Hey! Just for kicks, why don't you re-animate this guy so he can see what's going on?

JESUS Oh! Would that be a hoot? But I didn't do this. You'll have to talk to the guys in the ship.

(CONTINUED)

111.

CONTINUED: (4)

MARK (turning around, yelling at Ann) Did you hear that?

Rick lets it pass and starts shooting pictures again.

DAN (WITH HIS TRUNK), THE WAITRESS, JESUS WITH BOB OVER HIS SHOULDER ARE STANDING INSIDE THE BEAM. Damien pulls Derek backward into the beam as Derek fights to go to the diner across the street.

The beam goes through a myriad of colors, then disappears, with all the people.

In a moment, the ship starts to rise slowly, then shoots out into the night sky like a bullet.

Chris walks up behind Rick.

OLDER CHRIS How much time do you think we have before stuff starts moving again?

50+ RICK I dunno. Why? He nodded toward Senator Weston, frozen in an odd position, with his arms out in front of him like he was hugging a telephone pole.

OLDER CHRIS I hate that som'bitch. Let's fuck with him!

50+ RICK Cool with me.

CUT TO: EXT. DAYTIME, SEEDY COMMERCIAL SIDE OF TOWN CLOSE UP OF A NEWSPAPER VENDING MACHINE WITH PHOTOS AND HEADLINES ABOUT THE BANK ROBBERY/STANDOFF, IN SPANISH. A hooded Hispanic man pulls the paper out of the machine and starts to read it. He flips to page 2.

(CONTINUED)

112.

CONTINUED:

CLOSE UP OF ANOTHER PHOTO SHOWS SENATOR WESTON, BY A RACK IN AN X-RATED HISPANIC VIDEO STORE; PANTS TO HIS KNEES; FROM BEHIND, HIS ARMS AROUND A SHORT-SKIRTED HISPANIC WOMAN AS SHE BENDS OVER TO PICK UP A DVD ON A LOW SHELF. THE HEADLINE ON THAT PAGE: "SENADOR DETENIDO" CUT TO: INT. POLICE STATION, DAY Rick sits at a desk, surrounded by 3 or 4 police officers.

317 and 349 are not present.

50+ RICK I'm telling you, man, I wish I did have the pictures! My card was corrupted. I got nothin'!

POLICE OFFICER 1 So, you're saying that flash went off, and the next thing you know, you're outside, in the parking lot.

50+ RICK Yeah. That's right.

POLICE OFFICER 2 And nobody came out of the bank?

It was surrounded. You were in there...where do you think all those people went?

50+ RICK I dunno, dude. The flash went off.

We thought it was something the cops did. When I could see again, I was sitting on the hood of 317's car and everybody was asking where the State Police lieutenant went.

There were the two men and two women from the bank, sitting outside on the steps. Then the cops started goin in. That's all I know.

POLICE OFFICER 2 You never saw Senator Weston inside the bank?

(CONTINUED)

113.

CONTINUED:

50+ RICK Maybe some of the other hostages saw him.

POLICE OFFICER 2 They all tell us he wasn't there.

50+ RICK Did you ask the Senator?

POLICE OFFICER 2 He's in a psychiatric ward right now. We can't talk to him.

50+ RICK I guess he wasn't there, man. I mean, it'd make sense that he wasn't. Otherwise how could he get all the way across town and into trouble like that before the cops got inside the bank?

POLICE OFFICER 1 We've got four people and almost a million dollars missing. Can you tell us anything? Anything at all that might be helpful in our investigation? Do you remember hearing either one of the robbers say anything...about where they were going? Anything?

50+ RICK One of them said something about Morocco.

POLICE OFFICER 1 Anything else?

50+ RICK Only what the hippie said.

POLICE OFFICER 1 What's that?

50+ RICK Love one another.

Music starts: "Love Train" by O'Jays.

The cops look at each other in confusion.

CUT TO:

114.

EXT. DAYTIME SKY AN UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECT ZOOMS OVER THE POLICE STATION. Roll credits.