DOUBLE TROUBLE! DOUBLE TROUBLE!

Meet Mhani Varner & Raynell “RJ” Sims Jr.

WRITTEN BY MELISSA KLATT PHOTOGRAPHY BY MICHELLE HERDLICK

Today’s a special day in that we meet two phenomenal siblings from the Ellet area of Akron, Mhani Varner and Raynell “RJ” Sims Jr. Though they’re brother and sister, they couldn’t be more different in their stories, attitudes and personalities!

ABOUT MHANI: THE STORY WITH TWISTS AND TURNS Mhani Varner is 9 years old and had quite the journey before a fitting diagnosis was found for her. Mom, Sharmba Varner, noticed that Mhani wasn’t talking around 18 months of age. Mhani began speech therapy around age 2, and her mom knew something was off, but they, unfortunately, hadn’t had a diagnosis for her yet. Initially thought to have Angelman Syndrome, they were able to rule that out through genetic testing.

However, the genetic testing did bring something to light: a variation in chromosome 10, which is seen in some children with autism. Mhani was diagnosed with a learning disability, ADHD, and finally, in January 2019, being on the autism spectrum. She has sensory issues with loud noises such as automatic flushing toilets, fears running water that could overflow, is very literal and struggles with dialogue (blurting what’s on her mind). She’s also a big sister to RJ, whose story comes with even more challenges!

RJ’S STORY: DIAGNOSED 12 WEEKS INTO MOM’S PREGNANCY

Sharmba went through so many emotions throughout her pregnancy for RJ. He was diagnosed 12 weeks into her pregnancy with him, and she had frequent appointments monitoring both of their conditions. She struggled with sadness, fear, depression and grief while the changes pregnancy brought raged on, but had incredible support from her daughters:

“My two older daughters, Haleijah (19) and Halana (15), and RJ’s dad, Raynell Sims Sr, are three of my biggest inspirations,” says Sharmba. “They’re the ones who made me a mom first and the reason I made it through the grief during my pregnancy.”

A rough pregnancy turned even more scary when Sharmba went in for a routine appointment where RJ failed his stress test at 37 weeks of pregnancy. The ultrasound found no amniotic fluid, so she was rushed to the hospital. After 15 hours of attempting to induce labor, RJ’s heart couldn’t take the contractions, so an emergency C-section was performed to deliver him.

RJ spent six weeks in the hospital due to aspiration and had his first surgery at 4 weeks of age (feeding tube). Since then, he’s had two sets of ear tubes, tubes in his eyes, and his adenoids and tonsils removed. He continues to have issues with eating and has a thickener added to his liquids. He also sees various specialists and therapies: ENT, speech, occupational therapy, eye specialists, feeding clinic, and physical therapy. He’s due for another surgery in January 2023 for ear and eye tubes.

Though he’s non-verbal, RJ has begun to use a communication device and learned to walk at age 2 1/2! The family joins in celebrating every milestone RJ hits.

SHARMBA’S SOURCE OF STRENGTH

Though Mhani and RJ know Sharmba as “mom,” she’s much more than that! She’s a beacon of hope and a true measure of the strength of motherhood in the face of challenge:

“The most challenging part for me is watching my kids struggle,” Sharmba reflects. “Mhani used to get so frustrated when others didn’t understand her, but now she’s so proud to tell and teach others about autism. I worry about RJ because I want others to love and accept him as I, his father, Raynell, Sr., and our family do.”

Sharmba’s honesty about her emotions throughout pregnancy and motherhood is what makes her the perfect mother for Mhani and RJ. She encourages them to live their lives to the fullest, taking every chance of happiness and growth they can!

Mhani And Rj Chase Their Passions

Today, Mhani and RJ are involved with extracurriculars they love. Mhani currently attends the Julie Billiart School and is a strong, spunky, outgoing child who loves to dance and teach others about autism! She’s proud to be different and welcomes any challenge. She has found a passion for art, and she’s been dancing at the Martell School of Dance for seven years doing ballet, tap, acro and modern dance with dreams of being a singer, actress or fashion designer! Mom stated, “The amazing people at Martell School of Dance have become a true second family to us!” Mhani also has taken swim lessons, plays basketball, came in second place in a school race and recently performed with her older sister and Martell students in a hip-hop routine during the Cavs halftime show.

RJ may be young at 4 years old, but that doesn’t stop him from having fun! He’s a kind soul with a smile that will warm your heart. He did swimming lessons for six months and will start horseback riding soon. The family regularly visits the YMCA and has made it a family affair. Sharmba continues to encourage them to pursue their happiness and celebrates every milestone!

SHARMBA’S INSPIRATION FOR OTHER SPECIAL NEEDS’ FAMILIES

Sharmba shares incredible insight for special needs’ families really struggling with their emotions:

• “It’s OK to feel sadness when first getting your child’s diagnosis. It’s OK to grieve, worry, and cry ... all those emotions. Get them out, and don’t beat yourself up about it. But once you get them out, begin to love on and appreciate your babies for the perfect humans they are.

They are perfect! It may take them longer to reach those milestones, but they will! And when they do, it will be much more rewarding because we know how hard it was and what it took for them to get there! Lastly, remember they are PERFECTLY made in the image of Christ!”