3 minute read
LAUGHTER
by Rinzon
Bring on the water works!
Moments that make your man-tears flow
The man-tear—the purest, rarest substance to ever come out of a male Homo sapiens’ eye. We have never really felt comfortable showing our feelings in front of other people, so it’s quite an event when we do. But how do we differentiate crybabies from real Viking warrior tears? Besides getting kicked in the balls, there has never actually been a consensus on when we should consider tears manly, that is, until now.
1
When your favorite athlete retires
Your favorite player retiring is probably one of the saddest yet most fulfilling moments for any sports fan. You’re sad to see them go but at the same time, you want to thank them for all the years they’ve made the game worthwhile. The game will never be the same since you changed it for all of us, idol.
2
Kid movies growing up All of us have a soft spot for things we grew up with, so when good sequels for movies we love are made, reliving childhood feels is a thing we can’t avoid. Having a soft spot for Woody (the cowboy doll, guys) from Toy Story isn’t a thing to be embarrassed about. Or is it?
3
When a badass cries We’ve all heard that laughter is infectious, but have you ever attempted to hold back your tears when the macho-est man you know is balling? The thing about a badass crying is that whatever is causing him to break like that must be something so hurtful that it would incapacitate any normal man.
4
Inspiring speeches before you go into battle You and your comrades stand side to side, shaking in your boots, in the face of an enemy force, a hundred times larger than yours. You guys were just about to shit in your pants as the enemy sounds their battle cry, when your general starts reminding you why you’re here in the first place–why you’re fighting. Your country, for freedom, for your love ones so they could have a life after this, your heart pounds as his words echo inside your heart, tears, and sweat run across your face as you ride into battle. Or was that just a scene from Heneral Luna?
5
When your bro migrates to another country There are only a few bonds stronger than the one between “bros.” Your “bros” aren’t just your blood bros, but they are the guys who know your deepest, darkest tendencies yet are still willing to share a bed with you when you’re both drunk. And the day has finally come when you have to part ways, a montage of all your greatest moments will just flash right before your eyes, as that song starts playing in the background, “I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again...”
6
Finding out your wife or girlfriend is pregnant This can either destroy or bring life back to a man’s world, depending on the circumstance he’s in. Either way, you’re bound to cry a river once your girl brings you the news. Just remember, when she asks you why you’re crying just answer, “Oh, I’m just so…so happy!”
Movie quotes that will soften your pusong bato
“She loved me at my worst, you had me at my best, at binalewala mo lang ‘yun.” –
Popoy, One More Chance
“I could have got more out. I could have got more. I don’t know. If I’d just... I could have got more.” – Oscar
Schindler, Schindler’s List
- Mace, That Thing Called Tadhana
“People keep saying he’s not really gone, as long as we remember him. But it still hurts.” - Hiro,
Big Hero 6
“Sometimes, I think I have felt everything I’m ever gonna feel. And from hereon out, I’m not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I’ve already felt.” –
