even ninjas eat asparagus by Matthew Swanson Illustrations by Robbi Behr
Bobbledy Books 100 South Queen Street Chestertown, MD 21620 www.bobbledybooks.com ISBN: 978-1-940577-04-3 Copyright Š 2014 All rights reserved.
Even Ninjas Eat Asparagus by Matthew Swanson Illustrations by Robbi Behr
It’s hard to be a kid.
You’re always too small. You’re never in charge. You have to do what other people say. But here’s the truth. Maybe it will make you feel better to hear it.
You’re not the only one who suffers.
You might not know, but even lion tamers . . .
. . . have to make their beds in the morning.
And even the biggest, strongest, fastest football players . . .
. . . have to do their homework.
Sometimes vampires . . .
...n eed to get cavities filled.
And even ninjas . . .
. . . eat asparagus.
It’s also true that astronauts . . .
...h ave to take out the garbage.
And rock ’n’ roll singers . . .
. . . sometimes get haircuts.
And the very best tuba players . . .
. . . have to clean up when they make a mess.
Occasionally, even doctors . . .
. . . have to go to the doctor.
And even the speediest and most daring racecar drivers . . .
. . . brush their teeth before bed.
It might please you to hear that even the meanest, toughest kids . . .
. . . have to clean out the litterbox.
And even the president . . .
. . . wears underwear.
At least, we hope he does.
Believe it or not, even the most famous opera singers . . .
. . . have to be quiet sometimes.
And the toughest, sweatiest professional wrestlers . . .
. . . have to be nice to their bratty little sisters.
It might never have occurred to you, but even your favorite teacher . . .
. . . has to go to the bathroom.
And the loneliest lumberjacks . . .
. . . still have to share.
Even the howlingest werewolves . . .
. . . have to be brave when the lights go out.
And bug-eyed, rampaging, snaggletoothed space aliens . . .
. . . have to move away when their families do.
And even big, strong King Kong . . .
. . . has to go to bed when his mom says so.
Here’s the thing. Even when you’re all grown up, you’ll still have to take out the garbage and fold the laundry and clean up when you make a mess. But you’ll get to choose what you’re going to be while you make your bed and fold your socks—whether it’s a zookeeper or an architect or an arctic explorer. Or anything else you might think of.
ENGINEER DANCER SENATOR CARPENTER MONK BANKER SAILOR ACTOR CHEF ACTIVIST FARMER BIOLOGIST EXECUTIVE PILOT MUSICIAN ARTIST SPY
But hopefully not a vampire.
VAMPIRE!
VAMPIRE!
THE END
How to be a better ninja 1
Keep your ninja outfit clean. Ninjas need to make a good impression.
3
2
4
Get to bed on time. Ninjas are only effective when well rested.
Keep your room tidy (so that you don’t stub your toe while doing awesome ninja kicks).
Put away the silverware without making a single sound. Because that’s the ninja way.
5
Do not harass your little sister. She is probably a ninja, too.
6
Do your homework. A ninja’s power comes from wisdom.
7
Do what your mom says. A ninja can’t fight awesome battles when grounded.
8
9
Find another ninja and do the secret ninja handshake (we’d describe it here if it weren’t so secret).
10
Brush your teeth. Ninjas believe in dental hygiene.
Eat asparagus. Eat lots and lots of delicious asparagus.
We are certain that some (if not most) of you are excellent ninjas. Please take photos of yourself doing awesome ninja things and send them to us at info@bobbledybooks.com so that we can post them to the Bobbledy Blog.
WHO WE ARE Matthew Swanson wrote the words for this book. Robbi Behr drew the pictures. They live together with their three kids, one orange cat, and one blue dog in the hayloft of an old barn on the Eastern Shore of Maryland.
Matthew is a writer and dad who never liked taking out the garbage. Or washing dishes. Or vacuuming the floor. Or dusting bookshelves. Or folding laundry. Or making the bed. Now that he is a grown-up, he has the pleasure of doing all of these things every single day.
Robbi is an artist and mom who grew up wanting to be an astronomer or an explorer or a clogger, before realizing that astronomy involves math, clogging causes blisters, and exploration requires spending time in places that have not yet invented ice cream.
Yearlong memberships to Bobbledy Books (five books, one album, and a birthday card) are available for $60. Go to
www.bobbledyshop.com to sign up.
Also by Bobbledy Books: The Girl with Frogs in Her Ears Bobby and the Robots Archipelago I Don’t Wanna Brush My Teeth (album) The Imaginary Dragon Henny Wampum Had a Really Big Head
For stories, pictures, and other fun, go to
www.bobbledybooks.com
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
It’s true. You have to do all sorts of things you don’t want to do. Things like taking out the garbage, cleaning your room, and eating unusual vegetables. What you might not know is that everyone else does, too. Even astronauts have to do their chores. Even ninjas have to get shots and take baths and empty the litterbox. Part reality check, part empathy-building exercise, this book features a vampire, a lion tamer, and a president without his pants.
bobbledy bOoKS Read. Write. Draw. Sing.
Bobbledy Books is a club for kids who like to read, write, draw, and sing. Members get books and music in the mail and the chance to have their own book published. Go to bobbledybooks.com to learn more.
ISBN 978-1-940577-04-3
9 781940 577043