55 Plus of Rochester, #55: January – February 2019

DNA Testing: ‘We Just Found Out We Have a New Sister’

55 PLUS

Issue 55 • January / February 2019 For Active Adults in the Rochester Area

INHERITANCE You worked hard all your life to make money: Will your descendants know how to spend it?

10

Top Picks for Valentine’s Day Cuddling up with your partner on the couch in front of the TV won’t cut it this time

free please share

Robin De Wind Second act: Former news anchor enjoying life as an entrepreneur

INSIDE Roberts Wesleyan College professor David Basinger enters 40th year of teaching.

— has taught more than 10,000 students

Home is where

the help is.

Living Well Companion Care provides non-medical services to make living in your own home feel manageable again. We can support you with daily routines, transportation, housekeeping and more.

Companions undergo comprehensive background screenings and we only hire those we would trust to care for our own loved ones. Now hiring in and serving eastern Monroe and Ontario counties.

“Knowing there is someone who can help, makes me feel better about our future!”

–Len, client with his companion, Maureen

We’re Hiring Companions!

We offer flexible schedules and meaningful work.

Call us at (585) 248-5021 or visit livingwellcompanioncare.org to learn more or to apply to be a companion.

A service of Jewish Senior Life COMPANION CARE • HOUSEKEEPING • RESPITE & 24 HOUR CARE

January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

1

2

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

93437_Fuel_HEAP_Print / Live/Trim: 7.25�w x 10�h / ROC 55 Plus / 4c / 300dpi

HEAP can help you heat your home.

Karen, Customer Service Supervisor Buffalo, NY

HEAP Household Size 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 Each additional

The Home Energy Assistance Program (HEAP) is a federally funded program that provides assistance to eligible households by helping to pay a portion of their annual heating costs. National Fuel helps customers take advantage of this benefit. Call 1-877-443-2743 or visit us online to see if you qualify for these limited funds.

Approximate Maximum Annual Gross Income Limit $28,693 $37,521 $46,350 $55,178 $64,006 $72,835 $74,490 $76,146 $77,801 $79,456 $83,010 Add $6,480 per person

HEAPhelps.com

93437_Fuel_HEAP_Print.indd 20

January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

3

11/28/18 5:00 PM

55 PLUS

CONTENTS

‘

DNA Testing: ‘We Just Found Out We Have a New Sister’

55 PLUS

Issue 55 • January / February 2019 For Active Adults in the Rochester Area

INHERITANCE You worked hard all your life to make money: Will your descendants know how to spend it?

10

Top Picks for Valentine’s Day Cuddling up with your partner on the couch in front of the TV won’t cut it this time

free please share

Robin De Wind Second act: Former news anchor enjoying life as an entrepreneur

INSIDE Roberts Wesleyan College professor David Basinger enters 40th year of teaching.

— has taught more than 10,000 students

12 Savvy Senior 6 Financial Health 8 Dining Out 10 My Turn 42 Addyman’s Corner 44 Long-term Care 46

55 PLUS Q&A David Basinger, 71, entering his 40th year of teaching at Roberts Wesleyan College — has taught more than 10,00 students. Page 48 4

55 PLUS

January / February 2019

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

24 12 GENETICS

roc55.com

34

38

26 DIVORCE

• A new half-sister, thanks to DNA testing

• Financial recovery after a 55-plus divorce much more complicated

14 VALENTINE’S

28 COVER

• No excuses: Rochester has tons of things to offer. Top picks for 2019

• Robin De Wind: Former news anchor enjoying life as an entrepreneur

16 FUN THINGS

34 LAUGH

• Things to do in the winter. Plus: Heading to Disney? Experts share tips

• Comedian Sky Sands finds time to read to the blind and mentor kids in Rochester

19 MONEY

36 ACTIVITIES

• Social Security benefits: Largest increases in years — 2.8 percent

• Rochester-area Huggers Ski Club mixes recreation and pleasure

20 INHERITANCE

38 DANCE

• You worked hard to make money: Will your descendants know how to spend it?

• Rochester City Ballet: Not your grandma’s ballet group

24 FARMING

40 RECYCLING

• John Williams, 57, supplies every Wegmans store with Wegmans brand potatoes

• Rochester-area artists create with found, discarded items

Nationally Recognized Stroke Care.

Say “Take Me to Crouse.”

As one of just 10 hospitals in New York State to have earned Comprehensive Stroke Center certification, Crouse Health is proud to provide the full range of stroke care services.

Minutes Matter Comprehensive stroke centers are the best-equipped medical centers in a geographical area that can treat any kind of stroke or stroke complication.

At Crouse, receiving fast stroke diagnosis and treatment starts even before patients arrive at the Emergency Room. Once on the scene, our Emergency Medical Services partners start communicating with our ER and stroke teams, providing information vital for immediate treatment.

Working together, we’re consistently meeting — and exceeding — aggressive door-totreatment times that surpass the U.S. average. Crouse provides options for post-stroke rehabilitation, as well as continuing education to patients, our EMS partners and the community about the risks factors and signs of stroke.

Advanced Stroke Rescue Crouse is the only hospital in the region equipped with two hybrid operating room suites, allowing our multidisciplinary stroke team to provide the most advanced endovascular stroke rescue capabilities 24/7.

Exceeding Stroke Treatment Standards Median Time (minutes)

37

2016

38.5

2017 2018

35

YTD

Source: AHA/ASA Get With the Guidelines

If tPA is given within three hours of symptoms, the effects of stroke decrease significantly. Crouse has earned the American Heart/Stroke Association’s Target: Stroke Honor Roll Elite Plus recognition for meeting — and exceeding — AHA guidelines for giving tPA within 45 minutes.

Community Partner KNOW YOUR STROKE SIGNS

F. A. S. T.

FACE DROOPING

ARM WEAKNESS

SPEECH DIFFICULTY

TIME TO CALL 911

As a New York State-designated Primary Stroke Center since 2007, we’ve worked to raise awareness in our community about the warning signs of stroke.

With our designation as a DNV Comprehensive Stroke Center and home to the region’s newest ER, Crouse Health continues to deliver superior stroke care to Central New York patients.

S T R O K E ? C A L L 911. crouse.org/stroke

January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

5

savvy senior

By Jim Miller

T

Help Caring for an Aging Parent

aking care of an aging parent over a period of time — especially when juggling work and other family obligations — can be physically and mentally exhausting. But help and resources are available.

To help you determine and prioritize the kinds of help you need, a good first step is to make a list of everything you do as a caregiver, big and small. Note the amount of time each one takes every day, week or month. Identify the times when you need help the most and which tasks others might be able to do for you, like making lunch for your mother when you’re at work. Then list the types of care needed, such as simple companionship or doing active chores, like food shopping. Once you determine this, here are some tips and places you can reach out to for help.

Caregiving Help — If you have siblings or other loved ones close by, schedule a family meeting, in person or by phone, to discuss specific tasks they could provide. See if friends, neighbors or faith group members could help too.

You should also investigate resources in your mom’s town. Many communities offer a range of free or subsidized services that help seniors and caregivers with basic needs such as home delivered meals, transportation, senior companion services and respite services, which offers shortterm care so you can take an occasional break. Call the county Office of Aging (call 800-677-1116 for contact information) for referrals to services available in your community, or for respite services see ARCHrespite. org/respitelocator.

Financial Aids — If you’re handling your mom’s financial chores, make things easier by arranging for direct 6

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

deposit for her income sources, and set up automatic payments for her utilities and other routine bills. You may also want to set up your mom’s online banking service, so you can pay bills and monitor her account anytime. Or, if you need help, hire a daily money manager (AADMM.com) to do it for you. They charge between $25 and $100 per hour. BenefitsCheckup.org is another excellent resource to look for financial assistance programs that may help your mom, particularly if she’s lower-income.

Technology Assistance — To help you keep tabs on your mom when you are away, there are affordable technologies that can help.

For example, there are medical alert systems (like Bay Alarm Medical, BayAlarmMedical.com), which provide a wearable “help button” that would allow your mom to call for help anytime she needed it.

Or, you could install a video-monitoring camera (like Lighthouse Al, Light.house/elderly-care) that lets you check in on her anytime via your smartphone or computer. These cameras have built-in motion and sound detection that will let you know when something is detected, and two-way audio that will let you talk and listen to her. There are even websites (like LotsaHelpingHands.com) that can help you more easily coordinate care with other family members.

Insurance Questions? — If you have questions about Medicare, Medicaid or long-term care, the Health Insurance Assistance Program (SHIP) offers free counseling and advice on these issues. Call 877-839-2675 or visit ShiptaCenter.org to locate a nearby counselor. You can also get help through the Medicare Rights Center, which staffs a help-line at 800-3334114.

55PLUS roc55.com

Editor and Publisher Wagner Dotto

Associate Editor Lou Sorendo

Writers & Contributing Writers Deborah J. Sergeant Christine Green, John Addyman Mike Costanza, Ernst Lamothe Jr. Christopher Malone, Melody Burri Todd Etshman

Columnists

Jim Terwilliger, Susan Suben Jim Miller, Bruce Frassinelli

Advertising

Anne Westcott, Linda Covington

Office Assistant Kimberley Tyler

Layout and Design Dylon Clew-Thomas

Cover Photo

Chuck Wainwright 55 PLUS –A Magazine for Active Adults in the Rochester Area is published six times a year by Local News, Inc., which also publishes In Good Health–Rochester—Genesee Valley’s Healthcare Newspaper.

Mailing Address PO Box 525 Victor, NY 14564 © 2019 by 55 PLUS – A Magazine for Active Adults in the Rochester Area.

No material may be reproduced in whole or in part from this publication without the express written permission of the publisher.

PRSRT STD US Postage PAID Bullafo, NY Permit No. 4725

How to Reach Us P.O. Box 525 Victor, NY 14564 Voice: 585-421-8109 Fax: 585-421-8129 Editor@roc55.com

WATCH YOUR EARNINGS GROW!

You can’t fight Mother Nature.

But you can retire to a cozy place and tell her where to go.

5 MONTH CERTIFICATE

2.50%

APY*

585.454.5900 | advantagefcu.org *Annual Percentage Yield (APY) effective as of August 1, 2018. Membership subject to eligibility.

New money only. Contact an employee for information about applicable fees and terms. Rates subject to change without notice.

Federally Insured by NCUA.

At u n i t y

It’s More Than Retirement. It’s Five-Star Fun.

Rochester • (585) 368-4040 • leisurecare.com

Planning for LONG TERM CARE

can be a HAIR-RAISING experience!

LET GO OF THE STRESS

with an Individualized Strategy for Asset Planning and Protection!

Call Parker Law Office today to at 585-281-0717 to learn more!

Two Offices to Serve You: Brighton Office and Mailing Address: 2024 W. Henrietta Road #2A, Rochester, NY 14623

Greece Office: 722 Weiland Road, Rochester, NY 14626 Attorney Advertising

January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

7

financial health

By Jim Terwilliger

New Numbers for a New Year Most of the numbers that impact our tax and retirement planning lives are different this year

W

e have all heard the adage, “Change is the only constant.”

Calendar/tax year 2019 is no exception.

Most of the numbers coming out of Washington that impact our tax and retirement planning lives are different this year, just as they tend to be every year.

It is common to see the numbers change by inflation using the Consumer Price Index (CPI) as the adjustment factor. Such changes are generally to our benefit. A difference this year, and into the future, is the use of the so-called “chained CPI” to adjust most tax-related numbers. Defined by the Bureau of Labor Statistics as an alternative CPI, it is based on the idea that in an inflationary environment, consumers will choose less-expensive substitutes. As such, chained CPI is generally lower than CPI. For 2019, it is about 2 percent.

While the difference is subtle, use of this factor over time will make annual tax-related adjustments less favorable for taxpayers.

8

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

Federal Tax Numbers. Seven tax brackets, ranging from 10 percent to 37 percent, were carried over from 2018 tax year. In 2019, the taxable income range within each of the seven brackets increased by about 2 percent. This is good. It results in a modestly lower tax bill for a given taxable income compared to 2018.

The standard deduction was increased from $12,000 to $12,200 for single taxpayers and from $24,000 to $24,400 for married filing jointly. Additional modest deductions are available for those who are blind or age 65 and older.

Those few taxpayers now in alternative minimum tax (AMT) territory also received a break. The AMT exemption amount increased from $109,400 to $111,700 for married filing jointly and from $70,300 to $71,700 for single taxpayers. For trusts and estates, the exemption amount increased from $24,600 to $25,000. The exemption phaseout also increased from $1 million to $1,020,600 for married filing joint, from $500,000 to $510,300

for single, and from $82,050 to $83,500 for trusts and estates.

The highly-generous federal estate tax exclusion saw about a 2 percent increase from $11.18 million to $11.40 million. The portability provision remains, which allows a married couple to now shield $22.8 million from federal estate taxation. The annual gift tax exclusion remains at $15,000 for 2019.

Two Tax Provisions Changed. Two “structural” provisions that ended are: 1) the ability to treat alimony payments as a deduction for the payer and as taxable income for the payee and 2) the ability to deduct medical expenses exceeding 7.5 percent of adjusted gross income (AGI). The new medical deduction threshold starting in 2019 is 10 percent of AGI. Retirement Accounts. The news is good on this front as well. Several contribution limits were increased for 2019. They include: 1) 401(k)/403(b)/457 salary-deferral limit increased from $18,500 to $19,000; 2) Traditional and Roth IRA limit increased from $5,500 to

$6,000; 3) SEP IRA limit increased from $55,000 to $56,000; and 4) Simple IRA limit increased from $12,500 to $13,000. Catch-up contribution provisions for 1, 2, and 4 for taxpayers aged 50 and older are unchanged from 2018.

Social Security and Medicare. We’ve saved the best for last. Inflation adjustments for Social Security benefits are based on CPI (not chained). As a result, the 2018-to-2019 benefits increase is 2.8 percent — the highest since 2012. This follows a 2016 increase of 0 percent, a 2017 increase of 0.3 percent, and a 2018 increase of 2 percent. The ceiling on wages taxed for Social Security purposes increased from $128,400 to $132,900.

While this 3.5 percent increase will not make current high-income workers happy, the good news is that it will pump additional funding into the system to help keep the program solvent longer.

The good Medicare news is that premium increases were very modest. Combined Part B and Part D monthly premium costs increased by $1.50 in IRMAA tiers 1 and 2, $1.30 in tier 3, $1.10 in tier 4, and 90 cents in tier 5. The bad news is that a sixth higher-cost tier was added for a modified AGI threshold of $500,000 single and $750,000 married filing joint. Again, this will not make high-income retirees happy but will help keep the program solvent at least for the near term. Be aware that Medicare premiums for 2019 are based on 2017 modified AGIs. A word of caution: Don’t confuse these new 2019 numbers with current tax-preparation activities related to tax year 2018. They will come into play in 2020 when you prepare your 2019 income taxes.

Also, with the significant changes in federal income tax provisions brought about by the recent legislation, you are encouraged to consult with a professional preparer and trusted financial planner.

James Terwilliger, CFP®, is senior vice president, senior planning adviser, CNB Wealth Management, Canandaigua National Bank & Trust Company. He can be reached at 585-419-0670 ext. 50630 or by email at jterwilliger@cnbank.com.

Alert! Alert! Alert!

585-425-3420

Identity Theft Protection

7300 Pittsford Palmyra Rd Fairport NY 14450 jsiguardian.com/promo Includes: • Identity Theft Protection • $1 Million Identity Thef t Insurance • S ex O f f e n d e r M o n i t o r i n g • SS# Monitoring • Social Media Account Monitoring

Call 585-425-3420 or visit jsiguardian.com/promo to sign up today

Peace of Mind for $9.99/month

Attorney Advertisement

&

Our Mission Statement Is Simple:

A DIFFERENT CLIENT EXPERIENCE.

Law Ofces of

Pullano & Farrow PLLC

Business Transactions • Labor & Employment • Wills, Trusts & Estates Personal Injury • Health Care • Litigation • Collections • Real Estate www.lawpf.com • 585.730.4773 • 69 Cascade Drive • Rochester • New York January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

9

DiningOut

By Christopher Malone

Restaurant

Guide

Salmon: The medium-rare cooked salmon sits on a bed of kale, butternut squash, farro, and chorizo.

The Revelry

F

Northern exposure, southern-style comfort

rom processing sharp equipment to serving up plates, the historic building at 1290 University Ave. in Rochester is continuing to serve its purpose in the community.

The former saw manufacturing mill, which was owned by the Huther Brothers, is now The Revelry.

The restaurant focuses on southern-style food and craft cocktails in an atmosphere that’s unique for an Upstate New York establishment.

Huther Brothers’ company, which dates back to the 19th century, moved into the University Avenue space in the early 1900s. The beautiful building has incredible bones; more proof that history is worth preserving and

10

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

revisioning.

The two-story restaurant is dimly lit, but the massive windows provide ample natural light. There is a southern elegance with the décor, especially with chandeliers hanging over the bar. The industrial look allows the classic and modern approaches to blend well. Plus, another cool aspect is the clear floor in the foyer, a window that allows patrons to view the wine-filled cellar.

There is also a subtle Southern Gothic aura to The Revelry as well, but it’s more of a mysterious charm than a negative connotation.

We requested reservations, but were immediately seated without our name being asked. Our arrival time

was 5 p.m., when the kitchen opens, which was probably why. Less than an hour later on this mid-week evening, The Revelry began to fill up.

The two-sided menu featured beverages on one side and food on the other. Whether food or drinks, the seasonal and fall-winter menu had specific offerings. The Revelry specializes in craft cocktails, and that section offered the most options — even more than the large plate entrees.

I opted for the maple old fashioned ($12), because the atmosphere coaxed me to. The classic cocktail was constructed with bourbon, maple syrup and molasses bitters. The ingredients were wonderfully balanced for a

Polenta at The Revelry: The bowl of light polenta accompanied by mushrooms, kale, beets, veggies, and a squash mostarda sauce. smooth sip. The presentation was to the point; no foo-foo garnishes needed.

To kick the meal off, we opted for the carrot soup ($12) under the small plates section. Our server asked if the chef could split the soup for us, which was a kind gesture. The plates came out with only the garnish — crispy pork belly topped with carrot frizzles. Our server and another waitstaff presented my partner and I our respective dishes at the same time.

They poured the blend of carrot and poblano yogurt soup, which came out in small carafes, simultaneously.

Between the two bowls, there was a lot of soup. As much as the amount was satisfying for the both of us, the creamy soup was something to take note of. The poblano yogurt added an appropriate thickness and heat. The pork was crispy and melt-in-mouth flavorful, and the carrot straws opposed to the familiar onion frizzles worked really well.

Figuring the two of us were going to split everything, we were presented with two small plates for our entrees — the polenta bowl ($21) and the Akura salmon ($30). The former came out with an interesting presentation.

As the name of the plate reads, the polenta, mushroom kombu, squash mostarda, and beet entrée came piled together in a bowl. Although the presentation wasn’t photogenic — and this is the nightmare of patrons who don’t like food touching — the flavor made up for it.

The polenta was very soft and

The cast iron cookie dessert sounded too tempting to pass up.

The Revelry Address: 1290 University Ave., Rochester Phone: 585-340-6454 Website www.therevelryroc.com.

Hours Sunday: 11 a.m. – 12 a.m.

Mon.: Closed Tues. – Thurs.: 4 p.m. – 12 a.m.

Fri. & Sat.: 4 p.m. – 2 a.m. light-bodied compared to what I’ve had in the past, and it was definitely inspired by its southern U.S. cousin, the grits. The dishes are similar to begin with, as polenta uses yellow corn and grits use white. However, considering my northern Italian heritage and frequenting the Solvay, NY, polenta dinners, I’m used to a thicker version. Yet, with all the other hearty ingredients, especially the beets and mushrooms, this polenta faired well.

There have only been a couple times in my life when a server asked me how I wanted my salmon cooked.

Yes, The Revelry was one of those times. After asking for a recommendation, we decided to go with medium rare.

We chose wisely, and, wow, was this salmon memorable.

The typical serving of salmon sat on a bed of butternut squash, toasted farro, and chorizo. The fish was garnished with kale crisped to perfection.

The fork easily cut through the warm

salmon, and each bite was heavenly.

Along with the quasi-risotto bed of the aforementioned ingredients, especially the underlying smokiness from the farro, the flavors blended well in this hearty large plate.

The food provided was just enough, and it didn’t leave us too full. This is a good thing, because the cast iron cookie dessert ($8) sounded too tempting to pass up. There were two other desserts, crème brûlée and chocolate cake options, but the cookie was the comfortable middle Goldilocks would approve of.

The maple and bourbon oatmeal cookie (thankfully sans-raisons) was cooked right in the skillet. It was topped with three golf ball-sized scoops of vanilla ice cream and a drizzle of caramel. This was a sizable dessert and easily split, and the occasional boozy bite was as satisfying as an after-dinner beverage.

Before the grateful tip, the bill totaled $88.56.

The Revelry is definitely an upscale restaurant when considering the scope of restaurants, but it is far from uppity and exclusive. The service was great. The food was delightful. Amenities were clean.

Don’t expect to leave with leftovers, but the portions are perfect.

And, because of the dim lighting, brought to my attention by my partner, people are able to focus more on what’s in front of them — conversation with others and a focus on the food itself.

January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

11

55+

genetics

A New HalfSister, Thanks to DNA Testing

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

W

ondering about your roots? DNA testing can provide answers as to the question of your ancestry. While Mom may declare you’re half this, a quarter that and another quarter something else, DNA testing can give solid answers based on science — not family folklore — as to where your blood relatives originated.

A growing number of baby boomers like connecting with their past and learning they’re related to notable people in history or linking themselves with important events because of where their ancestors lived.

Companies such as AncestryDNA.com and 23andMe.com generate ancestral origin information through analyzing participants’ saliva samples that they mail in.

Two years ago, Donna Hull-Morgan of Seabrook, Tex., a suburb of Houston, persuaded her sister, Sherryle Hull Godkin of Clyde, Wayne County, to send in an Ancestry.com test to learn more about their heritage.

While their roots weren’t that surprising — the sisters learned they’re more German in origin than they’d thought — the appearance of an unknown near relative shocked the sisters.

“I had no clue we had a half-sibling,” Hull-Morgan said. “She showed up as common with Sherry and me and our first cousins on Daddy’s side. I kept looking at the results

12

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

“If you haven’t done DNA testing, do it,” Hull-Morgan said. “You never know what you’ll find. I had a sister I had no clue I had.” and thought what could be closer than our first cousin than a half sibling?”

The half-sister, Lynda Reinhardt, never responded to a message Hull-Morgan sent through the AncestryDNA.com messaging system.

Hull-Morgan persisted and her research led her to a woman who lived in Wisconsin.

“We didn’t know — we had no clue — of her situation and if she would want to find out,” Hull-Morgan said.

Her father, Daniel W. Hull, had divorced from her mother when Hull-Morgan was 12. Through researching online obituaries, Hull-Morgan learned Reinhardt was born a year later in the same area where her father lived.

Hull-Morgan sleuthed further and found Reinhardt’s daughter on Facebook and found her adoptive mother’s obituary.

“What I was thinking is that her mother and my dad got together as a one-night stand,” Hull-Morgan said.

“Her birthmother gave her up for adoption to a family in Wisconsin.”

Daniel Hull died in 1977. The sisters Hull-Morgan and Godkin feel certain her father would have mentioned a half-sister had he known about her.

“I never had any idea I had a half-sister,” Godkin said, echoing her sister. “It was a complete shock.”

While visiting the Facebook page of Reinhardt’s daughter, Hull-Morgan accidentally sent her a photo of herself. Now committed to the mission, Hull-Morgan revealed who she was and how they were related. The daughter said that her mother had been looking for her birth family since a teenager. They exchanged contact information.

Once Hull-Morgan called Reinhardt, the two talked and cried together for an hour.

“She thought she was alone,” Hull-Morgan said. “Texas adoption records are sealed and she could not get any information.”

Hull Godkin spent an hour on the phone with her soon after.

“It was fantastic,” she said. “It was instant love. It helped because she looks like me. We both have Daddy’s nose. We shared a lot of stories.”

Since then the three sisters have met and spent three days together, exchanging photos and catching up.

They plan to get together again in spring 2019.

“If you haven’t done DNA testing, do it,” Hull-Morgan said. “You never know what you’ll find. I had a sister I had no clue I had.”

Godkin feels grateful their family

could connect with her half-sister.

“This was wonderful for her as the adoptive girl wondering who she’s from,” Hull Godkin said. “AncestryDNA brought us all together.

The more, the merrier. She’s got a good life. It was a happy experience for our family and she is welcome.”

Not of Irish descent?

Locally, Upstate DNA Testing serves clients with curiosity about

Donna Hull-Morgan, left, and Sherryle Hull Godkin, right, recently found out they had a half-sister, Lynda Reinhardt, center. The discovery was made possible through a DNA testing. Photo courtesy Donna Hull-Morgan

their genes. Alex Gabriel, owner of Upstate DNA Testing, said that most of his clients request testing for confirming paternity; however, some want a heritage kit to learn their originating country or region. Of those, Gabriel said it’s not uncommon for clients learn about more than they imagined: siblings or children whom they never knew existed.

“It goes both ways,” he said of clients’ reactions to the news. “In some instances, they’re ecstatic because they never had siblings. For others, it’s different.”

Upstate DNA operates offices in Rochester, Syracuse, Skaneateles, Albany and Buffalo.

Some people may feel embarrassed about unknown relatives because of unfortunate circumstances surrounding the reason for secrecy.

For them, the past should stay buried.

Others take a different outlook, like the Hull sisters or a gentleman Gabriel recalled, who in his 70s felt thrilled to discover a biological daughter and grandchildren, after living for decades believing he could not father children.

Gabriel said that for older people, learning of children or siblings whom they never knew turns out happily most of the time. For younger people, the news often isn’t as welcomed.

“People come in because they want to find out if they’re Irish, but instead, learn their ‘brother’ isn’t related to them,” Gabriel said. “Or, they want to know where their ancestors came from, but they don’t want to learn their spouse had a fling years ago and there’s a half-sibling to their own children. The children in these circumstances can be very upset. But the older the people are, the more understanding they are.”

He recalled another instance where a man apparently fathered a child in 1964, but he said he has no recollection of where he was or with whom he had relationships during that time, “at all,” Gabriel said.

Clients learn about unknown relatives because DNA testing companies allow participants to log their results in a registry. That permits them and the other users to cross-reference their DNA and discover relatives.

“I recommend ancestry tests, unless you think you have something to hide, like kids you don’t want someone to know about,” Gabriel said.

January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

13

55+

valentine’s

10

Top Picks

By Christine Green

C

uddling up with your partner on the couch in front of the TV is all well and good, but when Valentine’s Day (Feb. 14) comes around it just might be time to mix things up a bit. This year check out one of the many classes, events, and exhibits the Rochester area has to offer. Here’s 55 Plus’s Top 10 Valentine’s Day picks for 2019:

1.

Museums

Do you have the day off or are you retired? Head on over to the George Eastman Museum at 900 East Ave. in the Neighborhood of the Arts.

Tours include access to the Eastman mansion as well as the oldest photography museum in the world. The museum is open from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Thursday Feb. 14. Adult tickets are $15 and seniors over 65 pay only $13. While you’re there, grab dessert and coffee at the Eastman Museum Cafe and Store. Further details can be found at eastman.org

Douglass. Doors open at 11 a.m. and admission is $15 for adults and $12 for people over 62. Don’t have the day off? You’re in luck since the MAG is open until 9 p.m. on Thursdays with half-price admission after 5 p.m.

Check out details about other exhibits at mag.rochester.edu.

3.

Keeping Warm

Rochestarians know that February can be brutally cold. Take the chill off with your valentine at the Lamberton Conservatory in Highland Park, 180 Reservoir Ave.. First built in 1911 the conservatory has extensive displays of everything from cacti to banana trees. It’s a lovely oasis on a cold winter day. The Lamberton Conservatory is open daily from 10 a.m.

to 4 p.m. Admission for adults is only $3 and people over 62 get in for $2.

Call 585-753-7270 for more information.

4.

Want to warm up with a little lowkey exercise? Take your sweetie ice skating at Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial Park at Manhattan Square, 353 Court St.. The “Sweetheart Skate Celebration” event boasts music and fun for couples who want

2.

Another fun daytime excursion is a visit to the Memorial Art Gallery (MAG) of the University of Rochester at 500 University Ave. In addition to the permanent art exhibits, make sure to experience the multi-screen film and video installation by Isaac Julien.

“Lessons of the Hour” is inspired by the life of Rochester’s own Frederick

14

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

The Rochester Museum & Science Center’s Strasenburgh Planetarium.

to celebrate their love on ice from 6 to 8 p.m. Cost is $4 per couple dressed in red. Skate rental is $3 per person. Call for more details, 585-428-7541.

5.

Catch a Show

Enjoy a night at the theater right in your own backyard. Blackfriars Theater, 795 E. Main St., presents “Ordinary Days”, a musical about four New Yorkers who cross paths as they “search for fulfillment, happiness, love and cabs.” The Feb. 14 showing begins at 7:30 p.m. Buy tickets at blackfriars.org.

6.

Spend a little time gazing at the stars with your date at The Rochester Museum & Science Center’s Strasenburgh Planetarium. The planetarium will be reopened in time for Valentine’s Day after extensive renovations to its Star Theater and lobby.

Renovations include all new seating in the theater as well as a new Digistar 6 full-dome projection system.

The planetarium is located at 657 East Ave.. Visit rmsc.org for full detail about current prices and showtimes.

7.

Perhaps a movie is more your speed. Check out the showtimes for the best in independent film at the Little Theater located at 240 East Ave. In addition to movies, The Little has

a full-service cafe serving meals, desserts, wine, beer and specialty drinks.

You can also catch live music five nights a week. Last but not least, they offer fresh popcorn and other movie treats at the concession stand. You can check movie times and prices online at the little.org.

8.

ing High Falls. The restaurant offers 16 beers on tap and a full menu of American pub fare. After dinner, tour the brew house and sample different beers at the tasting bar. Check their website at geneseebeer.com for full details about the menu, hours and tour schedule.

Food & Drink

What says “Valentine’s Day” more than chocolate? Add some wine and you take romance to the next level. Chocolate and Vines at 757 University Ave. offers gourmet artisan truffles. On Valentine’s Day they’ll be offering Valentine wine and beer flights as well as special truffle collections from chocolatier Norman Love. They don’t take reservations on Feb. 14 so just drop in between 4 and 11 p.m. Give them a call at 585-3406362 for further details.

10.

Take a Valentine’s Day-themed cooking class at New York Kitchen at 880 S. Main St. in Canandaigua. Special Feb. 14 classes include a class on wine and chocolate pairing, a chef’s table class that includes instruction on appetizers, side dishes and an entree, and a “Sip and Sizzle” wine and food pairing class. To sign up and learn more visit nykitchen.com.

9.

If you are looking for nice casual evening out with a cold glass of beer, visit Rochester’s own Genesee Brewery at 25 Cataract St. overlook-

George Eastman Museum at 900 East Ave.

Make sure to experience the multiscreen film and video installation

by Isaac Julien at Memorial Art Gallery (MAG) of the University of Rochester at 500 University Ave..

“Lessons of the Hour” is inspired by the life of Rochester’s own Frederick Douglass.

January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

15

55+

fun things

Fun Things to Do in Rochester This Winter

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

Y

ou’re not a bear, so why hibernate? Rochester and Western New York offer so many fun winter activities to enjoy.

Getting out for some exercise and fresh air can do wonders for lifting the winter blahs. Plus, you can bring along your grandchildren for many of these activities.

Here are six good bets for this season” • Check out the groomed cross-country skiing trails at Durand Eastman, Mendon Ponds and Webster Parks. While you’re out, try to spot winter wildlife.

• If downhill is your style, hit the groomed ski/snowboard hills (with snowmaking) at Northampton and Powder Mills Park, as conditions allow. If you’re new to downhill, seek

16

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

information on ski and snowboard lessons by visiting www.monroecounty.gov/parks or www.swain. com.

• Once the ice is thick enough, drop a line ice fishing at Durand Eastman, Irondequoit Bay Park West or Mendon Ponds Parks.

• If you want to take the grandchildren to a sledding hill for the afternoon, head to the hills at Black Creek, Ellison, Mendon Ponds, Northampton and Webster Parks. But don’t sled at other county parks where it’s not permitted. Lodges for rent near the sledding hills include Woodside Lodge at Black Creek Park; Cavalry House, East Lodge and West Lodge at Mendon Ponds Park; and Parkview Lodge at Webster Park. Ellison Park and Northamptom Park don’t have lodges.

• Strap on your skates at Bill Grey’s Iceplex or, weather permitting, outdoor skating at Martin Luther King Jr. Park, Highland Park, Churchville Park and, once it’s frozen over, the parking lot surface at Ellison Park, where at least you can’t fall in.

• Snowshoeing is a little more open at area parks; however, for groomed trails, visit any designated hiking trails or pick any of the open spaces in any Monroe County park.

Just be careful to avoid groomed cross-country skiing trails. If you lack snowshoes, you may be able to rent them at Mendon Ponds Park only, through Wild Wings, Inc., located near the Nature Center. Call in advance to see what’s available.

For all your outdoor adventures, check weather conditions before heading out. Dress in warm layers and bring along a charged cell phone.

Let someone else know where you’re going and how long you expect to be gone. Stay on trails and don’t partake in activities where they’re not designated.

To check on conditions at Monroe County’s parks, call 585-753-7275 Monday through Friday between 8:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. or 585-753-7270 on weekends between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m.

55+

travel

Going to Disney This Winter?

Experts share tips for ‘dream trip’

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

W

ant to keep Disney the “happiest place on earth” when you take your grandchildren?

Keep in mind the following tips from local travel agents:

Patricia Bean, owner Bean Cruises and Travel, Rochester.

Bean has taken her granddaughter, Aila Beisheim, to Disney before, and is planning another Disney trip with her.

• “Get Magic Bands before you leave home. Everything is loaded onto it: the key to your room, park admission, you can buy food and it includes your Fast Pass, managed through a smartphone. You can look at the restaurants to see who has the shortest line, menus, how long the wait is for Space Mountain right now.

It’s a real timesaver.

• “It’s nice to add the photo package, which is an additional charge for about $200. Pro photographers will take them in the right place. You won’t lose a nice camera.

• “Purchase the meal plan. You can’t purchase the meal plan if you stay off-property and that makes a world of difference. If you buy everything a la carte it can be very expensive.”

Natalie Fichera, office manager, Lori’s Travel Service in Rochester Fichera worked at Disney World for five years.

• “Use My Disney Experience, which lets you link your account and reservation to plan your days. They give the calendar of events, hours of operation, when nighttime shows will be.

• “The fall months, right when kids go back to school, tends to be the slow season. The only problem is, it’s the rainy season and hurricane season. It will rain about 20 minutes a day at least. There’s the week right after the holidays where it slows down.

But it picks up after the holidays be-

• “Stay directly at a Disney resort property as opposed to off the property. Oftentimes, you have a free shuttle for off-site, but they only travel certain times of the day. If you want to go back and rest, that is so much easier if you’re at a Disney property as their shuttles run every 10 minutes.

• “Staying on Disney properties allows you to have early morning and late evening hours at the parks that you won’t get if you’re not on their property. You can start the days before the crowds or stay later. They change throughout the week.

• “If you’re on Disney property, if you buy something at a park gift shop, you can have it sent back to your resort at no additional charge.

• “They offer the Magical Express, free of charge, from the airport and back. You put a special luggage tag on before you leave home and it appears in your room ‘magically’ within three to four hours when you arrive at the resort. You can also check in advance at Disney resorts; you literally can go right to your park.”

January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

17

cause people want to escape winter.

Early May might be another month where you won’t see as much of a crowd. School hasn’t quite let out yet.

Or early June is an okay time. Once you hit summer, that’s peak season.

• “You know what types of mood the children are in. That assists us as travel agents. If your family would only use the parks once a day, it might be good to have something off-property where you can have a vacation home experience. For someone whose children are a little older and you know they’ll enjoy the experience, staying on property is the way to go

and you can use the complementary transportation. That helps while navigating.”

Lynn DiMaria, owner DiMaria Travel in Rochester • “If you buy a meal plan, you can do character dining. The package will cover that. These are restaurants that have that character as its theme.

• “They have ‘value resorts’ ‘moderate resorts’ and higher end.

Value is so far away from the Magic Kingdom. It’s better to pay a little more to be closer, which is important if they’re under 8. Even on the shut-

Have you been diagnosed with breast cancer and prescribed an aromatase inhibitor?

(Anastrozole, Letrozole, Exemestane)

Are you experiencing joint and muscle pain?

The Breast Cancer Coalition can help!

“Surviving & Thriving on Aromatase Inhibitors” is a program that empowers you to take charge of your health and well-being.

Call 585-473-8177 or visit www.bccr.org This program is supported with funds from the State of New York.

18

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

tle, that could take an hour. From the Magic Kingdom to Animal Kingdom, it’s 15 miles. Disney is huge. Even if you are close, it takes a while.

• “My friends’ 3-year-old could not wait to see Mickey, but he was afraid of everything, even Cinderella.

When people take very little kids, it can be overwhelming.

• “It’s $129 a day per park: Disney Hollywood Studios, Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, and Epcot.

Any children over 9 are the same rate as an adult. Consider the Park Hopper, which lets you go to as many theme parks a day as you can. Children around age 10 or older could probably do it. If they’re little kids they won’t be able to make it at night and you can do one park per day.

• “If you bring some snacks because food is very expensive, they’ll put you through scrutiny. Bring a stroller if they’re young. It’s overwhelming.

• “Some stay for three weeks because there’s so much to do. You can rent a condo on the property as a home-away-from-home. It’s also good for a larger family so you can spread out.”

55+

money

The driving factor behind how much retirees receive is the Consumer Price Index for Urban Wage Earners and Clerical Workers (CPI-W) issued by the Department of Labor.

Social Security Benefits Set to Increase Largest increase in benefits in the last few years — 2.8 percent

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

I

f you receive Social Security benefits, you’ll receive an increase in your check of 2.8 percent in 2019, according to the Social Security Administration. That’s an improvement over recent years. In 2016, no one received an increase. In 2017, it increased by a paltry 0.3 percent. Last year was at 2 percent.

About 67 million will receive the bump in income starting in January.

In October last year the Social Security Administration paid $63.8 billion in retirement benefits, averaging $1,373.66 per month per retiree.

Why doesn’t the cost of living increase seem to keep pace with inflation in some years, especially for retirees who need costly medication to stay healthy and enjoy a better quality of life? And what’s involved in the decision of when and how much benefits should increase?

A caveat of Social Security in-

creases is sometimes Medicare premiums increase, too, negating an increase in benefit checks for those using Medicare. This year, the premium increase starts at $1.50 and goes on up for larger income households, based on tax returns from 2017, not the 2018 tax returns.

“In years past, there has been greater conflict where Medicare increased more than Social Security,” said Bryce Carey, partner and certified financial planner with NorthLanding Financial Partners, LLC in Rochester.

“But Social Security is going up by quite a bit more than Medicare. For the average retired worker, [earning] $1,400 in Social Security income per month, they’ll see $39 more per month.”

While that’s good news for most American retirees, many wonder how long the trend will continue.

As inflation increases, showing

a strong economy, Social Security payments are supposed to keep pace with the cost of living. Adjustments to the checks “are designed so income for retirees keeps pace with the cost of living,” said Scott Klatt, certified financial planner and senior partner with NorthLanding.

While viewpoints vary on how long the increases will continue and how much future increases will be, Klatt said that the strength of the economy and high interest rates should reflect continued increase in Social Security income for the near future.

“But that doesn’t mean their income will go as far if inflation rises faster,” Klatt said.

The driving factor behind how much retirees receive is the Consumer Price Index for Urban Wage Earners and Clerical Workers (CPI-W) issued by the Department of Labor.

“So when the index goes up, then Social Security benefits also go up,” said Diana Apostolova, financial consultant with Wealth Advisors US in Rochester.

The CPI-W influence on Social Security payments is supposed to help retirees afford what they need for basic living expenses like goods and services; however, “A healthy economy is expected to grow by at least 2 percent annually, so if this trend continues, retirees will also see their Social Security income grow as well.”

If you want to know your benefit before the first check arrives, you can sign up for or log into an account at www.ssa.gov/cola for free information. As another change for 2019, retirees can choose to receive their cost of living adjustment information online or continue to receive it in the postal mail as always.

January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

19

55+

inheritance

Do You Trust Your Heirs?

By Melody Burri

P

arents who plan to gift their heirs with a financially stable future may want to fine-tune their strategy.

Over the next 30 to 40 years, baby boomers — in the United States alone — will pass an estimated $30 trillion in assets to their heirs in what economists are calling the “silver tsunami,” according to Fortune Global 500 management firm Accenture.

The bad news: About 70 percent of those wealth transfers are on track to slip through the fingers of first and second generation heirs who aren’t prepared to handle an inheritance, reports The Williams Group, a financial and wealth advisory firm based in California.

Worse still, one-third of those people who receive an inheritance are expected to have negative savings within two years of the event, another study found.

So parents who’ve spent decades working hard, raising kids, budgeting carefully and saving strategically may not be giving the gift of a solid financial future after all. They may instead be offering up a huge temptation to spend and splurge, rather than an opportunity to make smart financial decisions.

But there’s good news: Parents can re-adjust that trajectory.

Gina DiMonda, president of ESL

20

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

Trust Services at ESL Federal Credit Union, has a few pointers.

The first: Make finances a family discussion.

“Some people don’t even tell their children what kind of money they’ve accumulated,” she said.

It’s possible they’ve spent a bundle on college, but have failed to coach future heirs on how to be fiscalDiMonda ly responsible, she said. Then when that inheritance comes, beneficiaries may not make the best choices.

“Even if you’re highly educated, you might be spending the money as if you don’t know what to do with it,” DiMonda said. “A lot of people quit their jobs, buy a larger home, buy a couple of nice cars, and go on vacation. Some even decide to take all their friends on an all-expense paid trip.”

It’s essential to teach the next generation about what their parents have done to prepare for the future, she said.

“Include them in the planning discussion,” said DiMonda. “Educate

them on your planning, your processes, what you’ve set up to insure [heirs] are set for a lifetime.

Here’s one example.

“Parents can set up trusts — it’s what’s called ‘control from the grave,’” she said. “They set up stipulations on how heirs are to handle their money. The goal is to make sure that children are taken care of long term as opposed to ‘here’s your inheritance. I trust you to handle it.’”

Trusts can state that funds will be dispensed at certain ages, like 30, 40 and 50, and that they’re able to receive money for special circumstances, like medical issues or a down payment on a home, DiMonda said.

Put it on the table Another strategy is to have them take part in the process.

“Encourage children to go to joint meetings with you and your adviser,” said DiMonda. “When they receive their inheritance, that’s when they should also be talking to a professional, asking, ‘what do I do with these assets? How can I accomplish my goals?’”

Everybody’s goals are different, depending on whether they’re aged 20, 30, 40 or 50, she said. Are children’s futures at stake? Do elderly parents need care? A financial adviser

Will your descendants know how to handle their inheritance? can give options.

Three things that are essential for all adults, said DiMonda, are having a current will, naming someone to have power of attorney and naming a health care proxy.

“The two most important are power of attorney and health care proxy,” she said. “It’s important for anyone of any age, even if you’re going off to college.”

Jim Terwilliger, senior vice president and senior planning adviser at Canandaigua National Bank & Trust, said ideally, proper training should be established at a young age.

“How do you prepare kids for inheriting a large sum of money at Terwilliger one time?” he asked. “If parents are thinking about that in their 70s, 80s and 90s, their kids are probably in their 50s and 60s, and it’s too late. If they haven’t learned about good money management now, they’re probably not going to.

The best time to teach them is when they’re in their 20s, 30s and 40s.”

Or better still, when they’re in school, he said.

“The way to instill good money management is by example,” said Terwilliger. “You can teach them the best money management skills in the world, but if you don’t exemplify good money management judgment yourself, they probably won’t either.”

For example, when they first receive an allowance, that’s the best time to teach the importance of setting priorities within a simple “budget,” plus setting some money aside to save for an important future goal. Extra rewards for special duties or projects can leave a lasting positive impression, he said.

Teach them how to practice good

At Your

e c i v r e S

Need Computer Help?

n Low-cost House Calls n PCs, Macs, iOS & Android n Technical Expertise n Friendly, patient, great with older adults.

Please email Alex at:

akaspershaw@gmail.com or Call (585)739-1660

Medicare Options Made Easy Over 65 or turning 65?

Free & personalized assistance choosing the right plan for you

Lena De Luca

Heart & Home Health NYS Licensed Insurance Agent

585-340-7181

lenadeluca1@gmail.com Si parla italiano

"Your Trusted Medicare Advisor"

We BUY TEST STRIPS We will pick up and pay on the spot

Highest Prices Paid

We pick up 7 days a week.

One Touch Ultra & Freestyle Lite. Other Brands Considered.

Up to $50.

(585)-284-3455 Digital Scan Solutions

CompuTer

Lessons for seniors

Your Photo and Movie Restoration Professionals! A Photo, Slide, Movie and Negative. Scanning Service with the most Experience, Highest level of Quality and Customer Service at the lowest cost!

• Private in-home instruction • Group instruction for Independent and Assisted Living communities

We Can Also Convert your old VHS and 8mm tapes to DVD’s!

We Truly Care

For more information, visit DanielTeaches.com/55

Tel: 585-953-2051

www.DigitalScanSolutions.com

585 902 8450 daniel@DanielTeaches.com

January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

21

You don’t have to face hearing loss alone.

The Rochester Chapter of the Hearing Loss Association of America (HLAA) unites people with all degrees of hearing loss.

HearingLossRochester.org

OVERWHELMED

BY AN UPCOMING MOVE OR ESTATE SALE? STOP WORRYING NOW!

Our comprehensive approach makes it stress free • Downsizing • Floor Planning • Move coordination

• Resettling new home • Online estate sales/auctions • Comprehensive cleanouts

• Selling your home

Call today for a FREE consultation (585) 770-4404

Karen and Dan Menachof, Owners

www.CaringTransitionsRochester.com Bonded and insured. Each office is independently owned and operated.

Is Your Medicine Safe at Home?

Only YOU Can Secure Your Rx! Help us prevent addiction, accidental poisoning & protect the environment!

MONITOR– count your medication regularly

SECURE– lock up any medication you do not want anyone to access

DISPOSE– drop off any unwanted/unused and expired medication to your local disposal site

Medication Drop Box Locations: Bristol: Town Hall

Farmington: State Troopers

Canandaigua: FLCC (Keuka Wing) The Medicine Shoppe Ontario County DMV Office Canandaigua Police Dept.

Thompson Hospital (lobby) Mental Health Clinic

Clifton Springs: Hospital (Lobby)

Geneva: Police Station North Street Pharmacy Richmond: Town Hall CVS Pharmacy

East Bloomfield: Town Hall Manchester/Shortsville: Red Jacket Pharmacy Naples: Village Hall Phelps: Community Center Rushville: Village Hall

Victor: Meade Square Pharmacy Questions, please call us at 585-396-4554.

22

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

household budgeting, investing, retirement planning, insurance, taxes, charitable giving, how to read a pay stub and balance a checkbook, and what role money should play in our lives, he said.

“You’ve got to bring the kids into the information loop,” said Terwilliger. “Tell them what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Help them understand.”

Parents would do well to teach their children how to avoid unnecessary debt, apart from purchasing a home, he said.

“Don’t be carrying a credit card debt,” said Terwilliger. “Pay it off every month. Learn to live below your means — don’t live paycheck to paycheck. That allows you to set money aside for charity and savings and gives all sorts of flexibility if an emergency comes up.”

When children start working, parents should have them start a Roth IRA, or start putting money aside for retirement, he said.

“It’s so important to teach them when they’re young,” said Terwilliger. “If you do this well, those are habits they’ll carry into their adult lives.

But if people haven’t learned to manage money in their lifetimes, they’re not going to learn it when they’re 50.”

Bottom line: “Train your kids or grandkids the right way,” said Terwilliger. “But if all indications are that they’ll blow it, set up a trust.”

Be Wise With Your Funds • Make wealth a family discussion. Let them know now, rather than later, why financial security matters and how you would like them to use your money when you pass away. For example: college, retirement, establishing a foundation, family vacation • Focus on values, not balances. It’s not how much they’ll inherit, it’s about core values, like giving to those in need, animal rescue, serving refugees • Establish a clear purpose for your wealth. Stipulate that those funds must be used as intended so they won’t go to waste.

Newspaper ad

Carolyn Stiffler

Associate RE Broker, ABR, AHWD, ePro, GREEN, MRP, PSA, SRES, SFR

Diversified To Meet Your Needs

Caring for a loved one with dementia Caring for a loved one with dementia can be difficult and stressful.

Bringing Homes & Families Together Since 1989 Rent 2 Own/Rentals for homes SENIOR Real Estate Specialist (SRES) Reverse Mortgage ~ Reverse Purchase for SENIORS GREEN Certified Investing in Real Estate and Starting with a Plan First Time Home Buyers Divorce Sensitive and Non-Partial Domestic Partners/Buying, Selling or Downsizing

Military Relocation Professional ( MRP)

can be difficult and stressful.

Researchers at the University of Rochester are

Researchers at the University of Rochester are seeking dementia caregivers to participate in a seeking dementia caregivers to participate in a brief in‐home program designed to reduce stress brief in‐home program designed to reduce stress and promote their own cognitive health. and promote their own cognitive health.

 Study subjects receive up to $400 for participation and travel  Study subjects receive up to $400 for participation and travel is not required. is not required.  You may be eligible if you are 55‐85 years  You may be eligible if you are 55‐85 years old and are caring for, and living with, a old and are caring for, and living with, a family member who has dementia. family member who has dementia.

To learn more, please call: (585) 275‐6835, To learn more, please call: (585) 275‐6835, or email: mindbody@urmc.rochester.edu. or email: mindbody@urmc.rochester.edu.

Website: Research.SON.Rochester.edu/dementia‐caregiving Website: Research.SON.Rochester.edu/dementia‐caregiving

Office: 585-279-8064

7.25 x 4.75” 55+ - Roch/FingerLakes - Christopher Community

Convenient, comfortable and affordable senior living!

In Rochester/Fingerlakes Region

Christopher Community offers safe, subsidized one bedroom apartments for income qualified seniors and mobility impaired individuals in a variety of neighborhood settings. Call today.

East Main Street Apartments 371 E Main St, Waterloo, NY 13165 315-539-3104 EastMain@christopher-community.org

Eighty Parrish Street Apartments 80 Parrish St, Canandaigua, NY 14424 585-394-3097 EightyParrishSt@christopher-community.org

North Street Apartments 260 W North St, Geneva, NY 14456 315-789-0902 NorthStreet@christopher-community.org

St Jude Apartments 4075 Lyell Rd,Rochester, NY 14606 585-247-1060 StJudes@christopher-community.org

St Jude II Apartments 4099 Lyell Rd, Rochester, NY 14606 585-426-2350 StJudes2@christopher-community.org

Royal Gardens Apartments 100 Royal Gardens Way, Brockport, NY 14420 585-637-8220 RoyalGardens@christopher-community.org

TDD/TTY (800) 622-1220

www.Christopher-community.org January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

23

John Williams, 57, president of Williams Farms in Marion.

He is behind the transition of the farm from a local grower to a major distribution hub in the potato industry. Photo by Deborah J. Sergeant.

24

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

55+ farming

John Williams

Prince of Potatoes Farmer John Williams, 57, president of Williams Farms, supplies every Wegmans store with Wegmans brand potatoes

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant Remember the scene at the end of “Raiders of the Lost Ark” when Indiana Jones wonders where the Ark of the Covenant is and viewers see it crated, being wheeled into the bowels of a cavernous warehouse?

Stepping into the warehouse at Williams Farms in Marion in neighboring Wayne County feels like that, only instead of seemingly endless rows of artifacts, it’s potatoes. Literally tons and tons of potatoes.

John Williams, 57, president of Williams Farms, was behind the transition of the farm from a local grower to a major distribution hub in the potato industry. Through Williams’ direction, Williams Farms grew to supply every Wegmans store with Wegmans brand potatoes, as well as a few other labels, including their own brand, Sun Valley. The farm also supplies other retail venues and restaurants.

“I’d always wanted to do distribution,” Williams said. “My uncle and cousin were in the distribution business. I thought it was a good opportunity. The demand expanded for me. Now we’re moving product from all over the country.”

John and his brother, Steve, represent the third generation on the farm. Their grandfather, Hipliet Williams, established it on 38 acres in 1949, growing spinach, celery, carrots, beets and apples. As his son, Douglas — John and Steve’s father — joined the business, onions, cherries and po-

tatoes were added, along with about 20 more acres. These days, Williams Farms, LLC farms 1,200 acres.

In addition to expanding its footprint, what made the biggest difference in the farm’s profitability in a time when so many family farms don’t make it is turning to potato storage, packing and distribution, beginning in the early 1990s, which John Williams calls the best decision he’s ever made. “Our sales have really grown a lot because of that.”

John Williams has worked on the farm his entire life and manages shipments from all over the nation and heads the packing and warehousing,

which is mostly potatoes and onions.

This aspect of the business allows the farm to make money year-round instead of only seasonally as a grower.

In the near future, the farm is considering expanding the packing business to include other products. Steve Williams takes care of more of the farming and equipment side of the business.

In addition to potatoes, the farm also currently grows apples, onions, carrots, field corn, cabbage, wheat, corn silage, hay, soybeans, and beef cattle — quite a mix for the 10-man farm. During harvest, 15 to 20 seasonal employees join the team.

It’s a lot for Williams and his brother to manage, but the security it affords them makes it worthwhile, they said. If one crop fails, another will see them through.

Working with family members brings a few challenges.

“Everyone has different ideas and ways they think they should do it,” John said. “It’s a challenge to manage it all sometimes.”

Despite these occasional minor disagreements, he enjoys the business immensely.

“I enjoy dealing with the customers and the challenge of whatever we grow,” Williams said.

One of his children runs the beef farm, but he thinks the other two may be interested in returning to the farm someday.

When not working at the family business, Williams likes to ski, snowmobile and pilot small airplanes.

January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

25

55+ divorce

Finances: When Divorce Strikes Financial recovery after a 55-plus divorce much more complicated

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

D

ivorce can hurt more than your heart. It can also cause significant financial setbacks. It may seem difficult to recoup the financial losses at this stage but it is not impossible to get back on track financially.

“As unpleasant divorce can be at any age, going through a divorce later in life may have bigger financial consequences than if the divorce happened earlier in life simply because people generally acquire more assets as they get older,” said Diana Apostolova, financial consultant with Wealth Advisors US in Rochester.

She said that figuring out income, expenses, assets and liabilities can help give a good snapshot of what’s happening in a couple’s life. Paying

26

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

for some expenses, such as the attorney or cost of moving, won’t last.

Others, like alimony and individual household expenses, will continue.

“The major one is likely going to be the physical separation of assets, including your home, your 401K, 403B, 457 and pension plans,” Apostolova said. “If you’re good with numbers and investments, you’ll probably continue to take care of your investments as you’ve been in the past.”

For those who haven’t done this, enlisting the help of their financial team can help make sense of their current financial state. This team could include a financial adviser, tax preparer and estate planner.

It may seem like going it alone — without professional help — will save

money, but Scott Klatt, certified financial planner and senior partner with NorthLanding in Rochester, said that usually people skipping this input end up losing more money. Or some make emotionally based decisions that cost them more, such as giving up and conceding too much or else becoming vengeful, regardless of the cost.

If there’s too little cash flow, it may mean returning to work, working more hours or obtaining a higher paying job to make ends meet. As simple as that sounds, Klatt said that some clients need help in understanding the need for more money coming in.

“The recovery is trying to start saving on their own for retirement,” Klatt said. “We really try to help people maximize the pre-tax retirement accounts they have.”

He said that if they’re working for a company that offers a 401k, that represents the best first step, since it’s a way to save that’s both automatic and offering tax advantages.

“If there’s a financial issue from an expense stand point, with this setback, they may have to work to 65 or 70,” Klatt said. “If we can outline their long-term objectives, they can make better decisions. The past month is a good example. An account can go down 10 or 15 percent. If they were going to use that for income, they may be surprised that account isn’t worth what it used to be.”

In addition, it’s important to revise the estate plan since the beneficiaries have changed. Klatt said that in New York, the law protects divorced people from inadvertently leaving property to an ex-spouse.

“If you do an ‘oops,’ the state will step in and recognize you didn’t want that,” Klatt said. “Even if you don’t do the proper beneficiary changes, but I wouldn’t take that risk.”

As Klatt takes clients through that planning process, he also advises them on how their Social Security will change. Qualified divorced people may be able to tap into their ex’s Social Security, but only if half of that is worth more than their own.

“Most have no idea about what happens to Social Security once they divorce,” Klatt said. “It’s not 50-50.

It’s not about an equal settlement but an equitable settlement.”

Call Today For a Tour!

We specialize in new hearing aid technology, ear wax removal, hearing aid repairs and tinnitus evaluation and treatment. We can repair any hearing aid.

585-421-7321

www.legendsatwhitney.com

FREE CONSULTATION

Our goal is 100% customer satisfaction.

Call today for your free consultation.

Convenient First Floor Parking.

Moblie Appointments Available.

Alternative options to traditional hearing aid services

200 Off

$ Carolynne M. Pouliot, Au.D. Doctor of Audiology

Premium Digital Wireless Hearing Instruments

585-348-9886 2479 Browncroft Blvd. Rochester, NY 14625 www.hearingaidworks.com

CONTEMPORARY SENIOR APARTMENT COMMUNITY

CREATE YOUR MEMORIES AT THE LEGENDS! The Legends at Whitney Town Center is a brand new, state-of-the-art apartment community for active adults 55+ located in Fairport, N.Y Relaxed, Carefree Living

Easy Access to Activities

100 CLEAR SPRINGS TRAIL

FAIRPORT, N.Y 14450

Swing & Blues

Anytime, Anywhere Listen to classic to new blues all week — and swing, big bands, and great singers all weekend long. There’s nothing like Jazz 90.1 Swing & Blues online. Go to jazz901.org, click the Swing & Blues button, and get in the swing or deep into the blues.

SwingNBlues-585_finalHalfPaged.indd 1

27

12/9/16 10:40 AM

January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

cover

55+

Robin De Wind’s

Second Act

Former news anchor enjoying her new life as an entrepreneur

By Mike Costanza

R

obin De Wind sounds ready to take on her next challenge.

“Most of us look for the comfort zone,” she says. “I feel invigorated being out of my comfort zone.”

That desire to climb the next mountain has taken the 55-year-old from cub reporter for a Rochester television station to heading her own company, Robin De Wind Media Group. Not bad for someone who hates to be photographed.

De Wind didn’t set out for a career in journalism. She was raised in Pittsford, one of two children in a working-class family. Her mother, Patricia, was a stay-at-home mother until she took a job as a waitress to bring in extra money. She is now retired. De Wind’s late father, Robert, was a tower crane operator who worked on the Irondequoit Bay Outlet Bridge, the old Can of Worms highway interchange and other large construction projects.

Though he died when she was 27, De Wind needs only to drive past those sites to feel her late father’s presence.

28

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

29

“He’s with me every day,” she says.

A love of sports — and of one special team — ran through the De Wind family.

“We got cable to watch the [New York] Yankees. My dad taught me the game of baseball to keep me busy,” De Wind says.

They also traveled to watch David, De Wind’s older brother, play college baseball and basketball.

At the time she graduated from Pittsford Sutherland High School, De Wind had no idea what to do with her life, though she had edited her school’s yearbook and shown some skill as a writer. When she entered St. John Fisher College in Pittsford, the teenager decided to study communications, intending to become a newspaper reporter.

Before her second year ended, De Wind knew a career in print news was wrong for her. Marketing and public relations also didn’t appeal to her — at least, back then. She was a senior and growing panicky about her future, when a girlfriend who was studying broadcast journalism recommended that she take a class in the subject. De Wind hesitated.

“I have photo albums with me with dark glasses on as a child. Never liked having my photograph taken,” she says.

Nonetheless, De Wind decided to enroll in the class. As part of her studies, she did an internship at WHECTV (channel 10). On her first day, the station sent De Wind and a cameraman to a local hotel to interview the late George Steinbrenner, who was then the principal owner and managing partner of the Yankees.

“I come back, and we put the story together, and I’m like, ‘You can get paid to do this?’” De Wind says.

“That’s when I fell in love with broadcasting.”

After graduating from college in 1985, De Wind spent about 2 ½ years working part- or full-time for radio stations in Warsaw, Batavia and Rochester.

“I learned to do radio news, which was a wonderful craft at that time,” she says.

An additional part-time news position as a production assistant at WHEC gave De Wind the chance to gain more of the skills she needed to break into television, and to create a 30

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

Robin De Wind stars in a commercial for one of her clients, the Canandaigua auto dealership Ontario Honda.

demo tape. Aspiring TV reporters and news anchors use demos to show their skills to potential employers.

High-level coverage WROC-TV (channel 8) hired De Wind as a full-time reporter in 1988.

During her time with the station,

she covered the 1991 ice storm that caused havoc in the Rochester area, the $7 million robbery of the local Brinks armored car depot and many other stories, including the pursuit, arrest and trial of local serial killer Arthur Shawcross.

“We were following the police when they caught him — he was in the car ahead of us,” De Wind ex-

plains. “I thought, ‘I can’t believe this!’”

Shawcross was convicted in 1991 of murdering 10 women.

De Wind also anchored weekend news broadcasts for WROC. When her contract with the station ended, De Wind headed back to WHEC to become the first full-time medical reporter in the Rochester area.

“Every day I sat on the desk, I was telling people something that could help them,” she says.

She even took viewers into operating and examining rooms, covering a cardiac catheterization, surgery on a patient’s wrist, a mammogram and other medical procedures. By 2008, De Wind was doing a daily segment on medical subjects and anchoring WHEC’s 5 p.m. newscasts.

2008 was a year of great changes.

De Wind and her husband of eight years divorced, and the two began co-parenting their daughter, Sophie Startari. In addition, WHEC phased out its medical coverage and made De Wind sports director.

De Wind’s knowledge of sports and willingness to learn, along with the help of experienced station staff, helped her take on that role. Though initially nervous about interviewing members of the Buffalo Bills in their locker room, she tackled it with her usual energy and the assistance of WHEC’s sports photographers.

“I would go in there and make eye contact, get what I wanted, and get out,” she says.

It soon became the best part of the job.

“I was learning something every time I walked in,” De Wind explains.

In 2013, WHEC decided not to retain De Wind as part of a consolidation. While she did not initially welcome the change, it did give her a freedom that she’d long been denied by her long working hours and the need to prepare for daily broadcasts.

“I wasn’t dictated by 6 o’clock anymore. I wasn’t dictated by ratings anymore,” De Wind said.

Using her severance package, De Wind spent about the next 18 months re-examining her career goals, and searching for a position outside of the broadcast news field that used her skills and talents. She also began connecting with daughter Sophie in new ways.

Bonds of Friendship Friends of Robin De Wind share special moments

By Mike Costanza

T

elevision viewers who watched Robin De Wind cover the news for many years might not have known that she’s not all business.

“She’s a lot of fun, and always has been a big sports fan,” says Tracy Tomalty Frank, a longtime friend.

Frank met De Wind back in 1983, when both were students at St. John Fisher College in Pittsford. De Wind majored in communications and Frank in accounting, but different career goals didn’t prevent them from becoming friends. They even roomed together for a time.

“She was warm, outgoing,” Frank says. “Someone who carried on a great conversation and always wanted to know a lot about people.”

De Wind also had great taste in music.

“I think I went to my first Earth, Wind and Fire concert with her in Rochester, probably back in 1983,” Frank explains.

Frank went on to become a certified public accountant, and lives with her family in the Syracuse suburb of DeWitt. De Wind stayed in the Rochester area — she now lives in Fairport — and spent decades in television news. Frank watched her career grow.

“She had a great career, and it was very fun visiting her, because she was clearly a celebrity around Rochester,” Frank explains.

De Wind went on to found the Robin De Wind Media Group, is divorced, and has joined her ex-husband in parenting their daughter.

These days, the two old friends get together a couple of times a year to share a good dinner. They often talk about their daughters — Frank has two in college and De Wind’s is in the ninth grade.

“I’ve gone through a lot of the things that she’s going through now,” Frank said.

Cutting the rug On occasion, the two have even headed out to a dance floor.

“She’s a very good dancer,” Frank added.

Pam Smith first ran into De Wind in 1992. At that time, she was producing a weekend news program at WROC-TV. “It was my first television job, so I was pretty much in awe of how everything was working,” she says.

“I remember her just being whipsmart.”

The two developed a friendship that has lasted to this day.

“We shared several things in common,” Smith said. “We both loved movies and sports. We both enjoy a nice dinner; we always have steak and a glass of wine.”

One time, the two friends decided to have a tailgate party at a Buffalo Bills-New England Patriots game, complete with dinner cooked in the stadium’s parking lot. Though some might have grilled hot dogs, De Wind threw on steaks. Neighboring tailgaters were impressed.

“Robin cooked the steaks on a small grill in the dark,” Smith says.

“She can cook a mean steak!”

Both of the friends have gone through changes down through the years. Smith is the producer of WHAM-TV’s 5 p.m. news, married and a mother of two sons, and De Wind’s career and life have changed in important ways. Despite all that, they still appear to share many of the same interests — they enjoy movies so much that when they get together, they throw quotes from films to each other.

“One of our ‘bucket list’ trips would be to California to sit in the stands of the Academy Awards,” the Livonia resident says. “I hope we do.”

January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

31

“Suddenly, I’m on a [school] field trip, because I had time,” De Wind says. “I got to watch her, and be more engaged in her. That year-and-a-half, I enjoyed that.”

At the same time, she gained more time to spend with her mother, Patricia, who is now 86 years old.

“She needed more help. I enjoyed being available to give that,” De Wind said.

While hunting for a full-time position, De Wind worked freelance, writing press releases, creating video content and doing on-camera work for companies. After coming close to being hired for a number of high-lev-

el positions, she decided to start her own company. The Robin De Wind Media Group was born in 2014.

Nowadays, De Wind puts much of her energy to use creating the messaging, strategies and videos that her clients need to tell their stories.

Though she’s very busy — hers is a one-person firm — she enjoys the flexibility that comes with setting her own schedule. That schedule allows her to help her mother Patricia out and spend time with 14-year-old daughter, Sophie, a ninth-grader at Fairport’s Minerva DeLand School.

“I really like her,” De Wind says.

“I enjoy her.”

She’s also renovating the three-bedroom home she recently moved into in Fairport. Asked whether she is the kind of “tool person” who might be prone to taking on that kind of project, De Wind has a quick reply.

“Do I look like a tool person?” she says, laughing. “I just thought it was going to magically be, if I moved in.”

When she heads out to socialize, De Wind usually does it with friends.

A good evening often includes a good movie and a steak dinner.

“I love steak, medium-rare with mashed potatoes, and asparagus and a glass of good cabernet,” she says.

A One-Woman Show

A

De Wind: Path to entrepreneurship wasn’t easy

t the age of 49, Robin De Wind had a choice.

“That can be a very scary time, when most people are downsizing, and most people are shifting into a lower gear,” says the 55-year-old Fairport resident. “I chose a harder road, and it was the best thing I’ve ever done.”

That road led her to found the Robin De Wind Media Group. The company creates videos, press releases and written promotional materials for companies and organizations around the area.

Most of the videos are created for internal use by customers and placed on their websites or posted on social media.

De Wind gained the storytelling and video production skills she puts to use for her clients during more than 30 years as a broadcast news reporter and anchor. Her work for WROC-TV and WHEC-TV sent her out to cover a devastating ice storm, into operating rooms and to the gridiron to report on pro football.

The key is to adapt “As reporters, you have to be chameleons,” De Wind asserts. “Whether it’s a crime scene or a locker room, you have to acclimate to your environment and still do your job.”

32

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

When WHEC downsized, De Wind decided to head off in a new direction altogether.

“Channel 10 [WHEC] made a business decision, and that business decision allowed me to ultimately be where I am today,” she says.

The path to entrepreneurship wasn’t easy. De Wind didn’t know how to create an online application, navigate the job market or perform other important job-search tasks.

“To go out in the outside world that I had only reported on was the biggest change,” De Wind explains.

While hunting for a full-time position, De Wind freelanced, writing press releases, creating video content and doing on-camera work for companies in the Rochester area. She was in the running for three key positions, including one as the executive director of public relations for a firm, but all fell through. Then, De Wind had a different kind of offer.

“I ended up getting somebody who really wanted me to create video for them,” De Wind says. “I’m like, ‘This is what I want to do.’”

The Robin De Wind Media Group was born in 2014. One of the firm’s first customers, The Pittsford Federal Credit Union, wanted a way to promote its mortgages and home equity loans to local realtors.

“The idea was to present to a

group of realtors some of the things that we do for our members [or customers],” says general manager Brian Scudder. “She came in, talked with us, and almost immediately understood exactly what we were trying to achieve.”

De Wind interviewed some of the credit union’s satisfied residential loan-holders on-camera, and crafted the results into polished videos. The financial institution has placed those videos on devices that it loans to local realtors, and distributes them on the Internet.

“Because of the effectiveness of that, and simply the insight she provided along the way, we have engaged her on a continuous basis as a consultant,” Scudder says.

De Wind largely works alone.

“I create the messaging and strategy that allows businesses to tell their stories,” she explains.

When creating a video, De Wind contracts with photographers and others whose services she needs, and assembles the finished product on her computer.

“My laptop is really my office and my phone,” she says.

In the coming years, De Wind plans to grow her business.

“I find everything interesting,” she says. “When I stop finding things interesting, then I’ll probably retire.”

6 Common Gym Mistakes to Avoid

O

NLE would like to help our senior population be safe and get a good

night’s sleep. Proper lighting not only enhances life and everyday tasks, nce you’ve taken all the proper lighting is a preventative tool for fall prevention. right steps to find a gym We’re offering one FREE Bathroom Toe Kick Night Lighting Systam suited to your needs, avoidwith the purchace of a Kitchen Under Cabinet Lighting System. Visit the ing some common mistakes website for more details. will ensure maximum results for the Manufacturer of High-Quality Under Cabinet Lighting time spent working out.

Newton Lighting works directly with your contractor or can recomment First, don’t just congratulate one. Caontact us to learn more about how Easy and Affordable Our yourself for Quality Linear Lighting can be. joining a gym www.NewtonLightingEnt.com — you actually have to go. It’s easier to stick HOUSEMATE WANTED to a schedule Responsible working senior when you ink seeking same to enjoy the it in your calbenefits of shared housing. endar.

Even NEW Single Homes at HALF if you can get the Tax Rate there only two My Brighton home is • Taxed at the Condo Rate! • Maintenance-free or three times comfortable and convenient Community • 2 Car Garage & Full Basement a week, make the commitment — beto all.

•Starting in the Low $150’s ing consistent is the only way to get results.

Let’s talk! E-mail: Another mistake is not adjustActive Adult Living 55+ Idon305242@gmail.com ing exercise equipment to your size 585-392-2979 and your abilities. That means small for more information www.BeehlerConstruction.com but important changes like moving the seat and back positions on weight machines for the best positioning.

Make that Connection, Connect with Linda for all your real That’s just as necessary as moving the estate needs.Working with buyers & sellers for over 31 years. pin on the weight stack. If not, you’re likely to use bad form, and that can 2349 Monroe Avenue, Rochester, New York 14618 lead to injuries.

Speaking of form, take advan tage of the availability of gym staff to make sure you’re using correct form, Linda J. Wilson Licensed whether in a yoga class or strength training. A trainer’s objective eye Associate Broker, can help you move through your full EPRO, CRS, RCC range of motion. linda.wilson5034@gmail.com Resist getting into a competition www.lindawilson.howardhanna.com with other gym members, even if it’s

2349 Monroe Avenue, Rochester, New York 14618

only in your head. Embrace the spirit

of camaraderie so that you can moti- 2349 Monroe Avenue, Rochester, New York 14618 vate each other.

Make that Connection, Connect with Linda Avoid settling into a predictable Make that Connection, Connect with Linda for all your real estate needs. pattern. One advantage of a gym is the variety it offers, from Working with buyers & sellers for over 31 years equipment for all your real estate needs. screening mammography is beneficial for older women. to classes. So don’t get locked into

a “forever” routine. ThatCall today 585-750-5034 can erode Working with buyers & sellers for over 31 years your motivation and lead to fit- Call today 585-750-5034 Linda J. Wilson Licensed Associate Broker, EPRO, CRS, RCC ness plateaus and even an overuse linda.wilson5034@gmail.com http://lindawilson.howardhanna.com

injury.

Linda J. Wilson Licensed Associate Broker, EPRO, CRS, RCC Finally, don’t forget good gym manners. Leave your phone in your linda.wilson5034@gmail.com http://lindawilson.howardhanna.com locker, but remember a towel so you Batavia Brighton CarthagE gEnEsEo grEECE viCtor can wipe off any sweat as you finish working on each piece of equipment.

Hamlin Meadows

Call today 585-750-5034

EWBC research shows

ewbc.com (585) 442-2190

January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

33

55+

laugh

Comedian with a Heart Sky Sands has entertained audiences in Vegas, Atlantic City and at home. But he also finds time to read to the blind and mentor kids at places like Hillside Children’s Center, YMCA

By Todd Etshman

I

f you haven’t been to Comedy @ the Carlson on Carlson Road in Rochester, then you should make it a point to see the great comedians that perform there Thursday through Sunday.

They’re male and female, young and old, well-known or up-andcoming performers from all over the country, including Rochester and Upstate New York.

Sky Sands is one of those nationally known performers, but he doesn’t have to go far from his home in Brighton for a show at the Carlson, where he appears on a semi-regular basis featuring a mixed bag of magic, origami and stand-up comedy.

My wife and I saw him at the Carlson recently. Clean comedy is hard to find, but Sands eschews most

34

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

sexual or biological material and does just fine without it.

Opening for Sands was Todd Youngman, another outstanding Rochester-based comedian.

Soon after the show, I got to sit down with Sands at Canaltown coffee shop on East Avenue.

It’s safe to say real comedians have a je ne sais quoi about them.

Not surprisingly, there’s a good possibility they aren’t going to sit quietly and consistently give straightforward answers that don’t include a comedic spin.

It didn’t take long for Sands to count the exact number of books on the shelf behind me, twist beads into a poodle, figure out how to incorporate the fly on the window into his act, etc.

“My mind is strange,” he says. “Let’s

not get into what’s been diagnosed.”

Comedians, like actors, portray different characters. In Sand’s case, that means he could be Cosmo, the “stereotypical Italian,” Steve, who is “out and proud,” Obidiah the magician or someone else entirely. The characters help him achieve high numbers of LPMs — or laughs per minute — in esoteric comedian jargon.

Sands says his audience may be watching a stand-up comedian or “just a man without his medication.”

“It’s good for comedy, but hard for a life,” he says of a mind that goes “117 words a minute, 146 with questions.”

If, for some reason, you haven’t heard of Sands, he believes you may still know him by the name of “special guest.”

His real name, Skyler C. Sands, is in fact from the sky, sea and sand referenced in the book of Genesis.

Comedians like Jonathan Winters, Bob Newhart, George Carlin and Bill Cosby got his attention as a kid and inspired him to try comedy on his own. As for magic, actor Tony Curtis’ portrayal of Houdini left a big impression.

He’s been getting out of handcuffs and straitjackets since he was a kid and has the scars to prove how hard it is to do. It’s not a trick, he says, just a lot of practice. His audience can be assured the straitjackets he uses are real, not made for a magician’s act.

The annual Magician’s Alliance of Western NY conference in Batavia was a big influence for him as a kid and still is today.

But the only comedians he watches now are the ones who precede him, so he doesn’t use the same material.

Still gets butterflies He’s been performing since grade school but still gets nervous before every show.

“A lot of guys don’t. I think it [being nervous] means that you still care,” he says.

He won’t eat after 1 p.m. on the day of a show because he wants to feel “light and hungry” on stage.

“I was raised in Brighton but I never grew up,” says the Brighton High School class of ‘78 grad who remembers high school as being “the best seven years of my life.”

Comedian Todd Youngman went to BHS, too, so credit the high school for producing good comedians.

Sands still lives in Brighton today with his multi-media artist wife, Andrea. Their shared studio of her artwork and his magic props and origami “looks like you went into a jester’s mind and it exploded,” he says.

The couple owns AE (Andrea Esthetics) Spa on Monroe Avenue. There weren’t any other spas in the area when they opened 28 years ago. “Today, all you need is a pair of scissors, a Yanni CD and a candle and you’re a spa,” Sands jokes.

Performing in front of a home crowd can be both a blessing and a curse. It’s great to see old friends and familiar faces, but the pay is better on the road and he’s spent plenty of time on the road doing up to 18 shows a week in Las Vegas and Atlantic City at times in his career.

Stand-up comedy is just one area the versatile performer works in. He’s using his talents in many different ways and all over town. He includes his magic skills in corporate training gigs to show that “anything is possible,” does voice-over work for animated film characters, reads to the blind on WXXI’s Reachout Radio, is a recovery coach for addicts, and does weddings and private shows, too.

He takes mentoring kids at places like Hillside Children’s Center and the YMCA seriously. “You hav-

Comedian Sky Sands travels the country with his show, which is also presented locally at Comedy @ the Carlson. Photo provided. en’t learned something until you’ve taught someone else,” he says. “It’s easier to mold clay than to chip away at stone.”

In his meandering career, he’s done theater, sung the anthem at Rochester Red Wings’ games, and has been an EMT and a fast food chain clown.

Like many comedians, Sands has known lean times in which he had to eat a lot of happy hour food, “make a head of cabbage last a week” and share an apartment with more than a few roommates.

But he survived to become a headliner and to work an entire career at doing what he loves. “I want to en-

tertain you,” he says. “I want to take you spots you haven’t been before. I love what I do and it shows. It’s a gift; I might as well use it.”

The veteran comedian says he isn’t concerned with fame and money much anymore but does look forward to performing well into the future.

“In the big picture, I’m still growing and working on new bits for my act.

I want to wear out, not rust out,” he said.

Depending on whether he’s being serious or not, he’s also writing a book, a pseudo journal about his background that he describes as “true stories from the road that I made up.”

January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

35

55+ activities

Huggers Ski Club members Steve Sussman and Jo Emerson mentor Malyk Douglas (center) at the Notre Dame Learning Center in Rochester. Photo by Sister Evelyn Breslin.

Who Needs a Hugger?

Rochester-area ski club mixes recreation and pleasure

By Christine Green

T

ony Eckel, 60, of Pittsford is weary of all the time we spend on our phones and in front of computer screens on social media.

“Nowadays, socialization is so tied up with the electronic stuff, and it really doesn’t allow you to get close to people or to interact, really,” Eckel said. He prefers to socialize with his friends in person and that’s why he joined the Huggers Ski Club two years ago.

The Huggers came together in 1969 when a group of General Dynamics’ employees who all enjoyed skiing decided to formalize their mutual interest by creating a club.

36

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

Today, Eckel is just one of the over 300 paid members of the Huggers.

They don’t just ski anymore either.

You can find Huggers snowboarding, kayaking, playing pickleball, camping, hiking, biking and walking. It doesn’t end with sporting activities, though. Huggers also enjoy euchre, happy hour gatherings, picnics, and holiday parties.

“We are a group of people who are looking for social outlets to get together and enjoy each other. Discussions, games … I mean we do everything.”

“Everything” also includes volunteering in the community.

In 2017, Brighton resident and

Hugger volunteer committee chairman Steve Anderson, 63, felt like he and his fellow club members had lots of time to offer as volunteers. After all, “volunteering is meant to be another form of socializing,” he said.

Anderson began his efforts by recruiting fellow Huggers to help out with a Special Olympics snowshoeing event last winter at Swain. Over 130 donned snowshoes to participate in the games and the Huggers helped get participants ready for each competition as well and assisted with the medal presentations.

“We had a blast,” he told 55 Plus.

This year, Anderson and friends plan to help out the Special Olympics

again by volunteering with the local alpine skiing event as well.

Anderson and several other club members are also bell ringers with the Salvation Army during the holiday season.

Beyond expectations But the Hugger volunteers extend themselves all year, not just during the holiday and winter months. Several Huggers participate in a student-tutoring program at the Notre Dame Learning Center at the Charles Settlement House in Rochester.

The Notre Dame Learning Center was established in 2004 by the School Sisters of Notre Dame to assist Rochester children with their academic skills. Volunteers at the center work one-on-one with city children to help them boost their grades and study habits as well as to inspire confidence and a sense of accomplishment. They serve over 40 children each semester from area private and public schools.

Jo Emerson, 67, of Pittsford joined the Huggers 10 years ago when a friend convinced her to join the group for a summer bike ride. She’s been an active Hugger ever since. Emerson volunteers once a week at the Learning Center for a few hours at a time.

She tutors elementary students Alejandro Ramos and Malyk Douglas of Rochester. She helps them with math and reading and has “literally fallen in love with these kids,” Emerson said.

“We believe deeply in giving back to the children of the city of Rochester,” said Emerson. “It is my civic duty to help. It means a lot to me to be able to step in and maybe make a difference in the life of a child.”

Hugger Steve Sussman, 71, also from Pittsford, donates his time as a tutor to the Notre Dame Learning Center.

Like Anderson and Emerson, he was eager to start the Huggers volunteer program. He knew the Huggers, many of whom are retired, had the resources to form a strong group of volunteers.

“We said, ‘It’d be nice to give back to the community or do something for the children in the Rochester school system. We have the skills and the time and it just seemed like an appropriate thing to do.”

He gets lots of personal fulfillment from his time at the center.

“A little bit of help now to show the children that they actually can do the work seems to give them confidence and they seem to really enjoy it,” she said.

Sister Evelyn Breslin is the executive director at the Notre Dame Learning Center and appreciates all that the Huggers and other volunteers do for the kids they work with.

“The wonderful volunteers at Notre Dame Learning Center not only meet the academic needs of the students but also are caring, loving,

sensitive men and women helping to build the confidence and self-esteem of the child he or she is tutoring,” Breslin said.

Anderson hopes as the Huggers’ 50th anniversary approaches this year, other Hugger Ski Club members will join him and his committee as they work to expand the group’s volunteer efforts. The Notre Dame Learning Center is always in need of tutors, and Anderson welcomes other volunteering ideas.

To learn more about the Huggers Ski Club, visit huggersskiclub.org.

93723_Fuel_NYSpecialProtections_Print / Live/Trim: 4.75”w x 7”h / no bleed / 55 Plus / 4C

Being part of the solution means offering payment assistance to customers who need it.

Ashleigh Customer Service Supervisor Buffalo, NY

SPECIAL PROTEC TIONS

Did you know we offer special protections for customers who reside in households where all residents are 62 or older, 18 or younger, blind or disabled? If you or anyone you know fit this description, we’re here to help. Call us today at 1.800.365.3234 so we can work together to update our records and ensure continuous gas service throughout the winter.



Special Protections Request. Get the help you need. Call us today at 1.800.365.3234 or complete this form and return it with your next payment.

Name: _____________________________________________________________________ Address: ___________________________________________________________________ City: ___________________________ State: ________________________ ZIP: __________ Phone: _________________________ Account Number: ____________________________ Please check all that apply:  Aged 62 or older  Aged 18 or younger

 Blind

 Disabled

NOTE: To qualify, each member of the household must be one of the following: blind, disabled, 62 years of age or older, or 18 years of age or younger.

NationalFuel.com

93723_Fuel_NYSpecialProtections_Print.indd 1

January / February 2019 -12/12/18 55 PLUS 37 11:11 AM

55+

dance

Not Your Grandma’s Ballet Under new direction since 2014, Rochester City Ballet has experienced tremendous growth, making ballet more accessible in the community

By Christine Green

W

hen some people think of ballet they think of tulle skirts and pink tights. They think of classical music and traditional choreography. But today’s balletomane — a ballet enthusiast or devotee — knows that ballet is, as Rochester City Ballet’s (RCB) artistic director David Palmer puts it, “not what it was in your grandma’s time — ballet keeps moving forward.”

Timothy M. Draper founded the Rochester City Ballet in 1987. Today the company is run by Executive Director Nichole Gantshar, 55, and Palmer, 57, artistic director.

38

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

The company has experienced tremendous growth since Gantshar began work with the RCB in 2014 and Palmer in 2015. Under their direction the yearly number of shows they perform has increased from 12 to 27, and they raised their budget from $700,000 to $1 million.

The company performs at Nazareth College Arts Center and Kodak Hall at Eastman Theatre as well as twice a year at Canandaigua Academy. It has also increased its presence in area schools and partners with organizations such as the Boys and Girls Club and the Hillside Children’s Center. Each year since 2015 the com-

pany also presents a sensory-friendly performance for children on the autism spectrum.

“As an audience member, I have definitely seen their growth,” said Cassandra Moffitt of Irondequoit.

Moffitt is a hobbyist ballerina and balletomane who appreciates all the RCB does to make ballet accessible in the community.

“Instead of sticking to the classics year in and year out, it seems like they’ve had increasing freedom to introduce us, as audience members, to new ways to appreciate the art form.

A few that specifically stand out for me was the Stravinsky/Bowie pro-

duction, and “Tutus and Tango.”

The vibrancy Gantshar and Palmer have brought to RCB has also been felt back stage. Company dancer Katherine Duffy told 55 Plus that Gantshar and Palmer are extremely supportive of their resident dancers and are easy to approach with questions and concerns. This connection between dancers and leaders has led to a feeling of ease that has aided Duffy on her journey as a ballerina.

“I’ve grown more here in the last year then I had in the previous five years,” said Duffy.

Ellen Comisar of Brighton thinks that Rochester art fans need to add ballet to their personal arts calendar if they haven’t already.

“It isn’t just really good dance for Rochester,” she said. “It is just really good dance. There are great performances. I really think Nichole is building something great. I certainly hope to see it succeed and continue to grow.”

The Players Executive Director Nichole Gantshar Nichole Gantshar graduated from the Walnut Hill School for Performing Arts and trained with the Boston Ballet. After high school graduation she spent a season dancing with the Milwaukee Ballet. She then went on to have a dual career as a dramaturg by day and as a staff editor with The Post-Standard newspaper in Syracuse by night. But at age 46 she took a buyout from the paper, left the theater, and decided to pursue a career as an arts director. She tirelessly researched what it would take to dramatically change careers and talked to people in the field who knew the ins and out of arts direction. She then took staff positions at the Tulsa Ballet and the Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre. Her journey finally brought her to Rochester in 2014 when she became the executive director of the RCB. As a former ballet dancer herself she knew that this was the job for her, and when the days get long and tiring she just pops her head into the practice space at the Draper Center, the official training school for RCB, to take in the beauty of the ballet.

David Palmer and Nichole Gantshar pose with costumes used by the ballet company. Photo by Christine Green.

When asked why she chose to make Rochester home and to run the RCB she said, “It’s really exciting to have the challenge of building a ballet company.”

But Gantshar was quick to point out that her work as executive director isn’t only about business, budgets and marketing. It’s also about the joy of dance and bringing top-notch performances to the Rochester arts scene.

“I’ll never forget the first show David [Palmer, artistic director] did and the lights went down and I hadn’t seen the piece yet. And I just started crying thinking ‘I helped make this happen.’

It’s my dream to be able to do this.

There’s nothing else that compares to being in a crowded theater and being inspired.”

Artistic Director David Palmer While Gantshar remains largely behind the scenes raising money and organizing the business end of the ballet, Palmer’s job is to develop “product.” As such he is the principal choreographer and director. “Nichole tries to raise the money and I spend it,” he joked.

But his job is no joke when it comes right down to it. He has helped the company grow by bringing innovative

and exciting new shows to a Rochester audience. Originally from Australia, Palmer has been dancing since age 16. After a series of childhood injuries, his parents decided that dance might be the best way for him to rehabilitate and develop his athleticism.

He wasn’t thrilled about ballet at first, but he soon found that he had a talent for dance. Since then he has danced in over 40 countries and was a principal dancer in the Joffrey Ballet, Miami City Ballet and San Francisco Ballet.

He also founded Maximum Dance Company in 1997 and was most recently the associate artistic director of The Washington Ballet.

He enjoys living in Rochester with his family and raising his two young daughters in such an arts-oriented city. When asked why Rochester arts enthusiasts should come to the ballet he said, “It’s so good, it’s real entertainment. You don’t know you’re a ballet fan until you go. It’s an exciting physical inspiring staycation that takes you into a surreal world. It allows you to relax and at the same time can inspire you, can make you laugh; it’s a very powerful vehicle. If you haven’t been to the ballet you just don’t know what you are missing.”

January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

39

55+

recycling

Local artists Richard Della Costa and Christine Barry take the lost, the discarded and the forgotten and turn it into art that inspires.

Lost But Found Rochester-area artists create with found, discarded items

By Christine Green

D

riftwood, tarnished candlesticks, broken furniture, roof shingles, animal bone.

The list of materials used at the November/December 2018 “Remains Memories … Reinterpreted Salvage” art show at A Different Path Gallery in Brockport reads like a list of trash or recycled items rather than a list of art supplies.

But these items aren’t trash; they are the building blocks of the collage and found object art created by local 40

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

artists Richard Della Costa and Christine Barry. Della Costa and Barry take the lost, the discarded and the forgotten and turn it into art that inspires.

Barry, 72, of Rochester, worked in higher education for 20 years before opening her own business working with multinational companies in the fields of communications and organization development. Despite being busy with her growing business and clientele, she always found time for creativity.

“While working in education, communications and technology occupied me fulltime, I was ambitiously collecting ideas, sketching, photographing, restoring old homes and furniture and taking out my creativity in practical ways in the kitchen, on the house and family. All the while imagining and reinterpreting what I would create given the time,” she said.

Today, though, she devotes all her time to her work as an artist. She finds inspiration in everything from old railroad ties to patinaed sheets of copper. But her real muse is nature and the bits and pieces gifted from the woods and the mountains.

“I owe a big thank you to nature, who has donated most of the gifts that I reconstruct into sculptures,” said Barry.

Indeed, Barry adds pieces of the natural world to many of her sculptures, and close inspection reveals

everything from palm fronds to driftwood and strips of birch bark.

“In my estimation, the natural world contains all the shapes, colors and light in great art. It’s all there. Focusing on and truly attending to the natural world reveals marvels. It is the inspiration for all my work,” she said.

Barry lets materials, whether they are natural objects or man-made debris or trinkets, tell her where to take the sculpture she is working on. It’s like when she found an old decaying piece of a wooden fence on Martha’s Vineyard, she saw the subtle shape of a barn in its structure. She then sketches her idea until pure inspiration leads her to the finished draft.

“Once you get your first draft down, it has this little inner spirit that starts speaking to you and tells you what to do next,” Barry said.

Barry also works with oils and displayed two of her first oil paintings at the Different Path show. She’s been taking classes from Rochester painter Steve Carpenter. While she dismissed the paintings saying it was not her best work, they showed not only great skill, but beautiful composition and use of color that complemented her collage pieces.

Many of her found object collage work evoked a sense of the sacred Asian temple design with deeply sloping roofs and dark wooden em-

bellishment.

Other sculptures brought to mind images of early Christian triptych art and some incorporated small Mexican metallic religious charms called milagros.

Recovery mission Della Costa, 70, of Kendall, was a film and media studies teacher first at the Visual Studies Workshop in Rochester, then at Monroe Community College, and finally at Edison Career and Technology High School. He retired from Edison four years ago and now focuses solely on his salvage and collage art.

Della Costa uses a variety of materials from many different sources, and quite literally sits atop a virtual goldmine of recovered material.

“I find objects and images in a variety of places — old books, vintage antique shops, junk stores and, probably most productive, an old landfill next to my land,” he said. “Used during the ‘40s and ‘50s as a town dump, it yields all sorts of rusted and ruined materials, bones, toys, chunks of car parts, melted glass and the like.

Every fall, I have fun going through the now overgrown area and discovering ‘treasures’ that I might use.”

Like Barry, he often lets the objects lead the way as he creates his

work. His piece “Huitzilopochthli and the Ride of Spirituality” came together when he closely examined the dry white rib bones of a deer he found on his property. He added a metallic pedestal, dried foliage, photographs, and a variety of found objects. Soon a shape and an idea took hold and the large, two-sided piece inspired by Aztec spirituality became a sculpture.

January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

41

“I find it fun to put formerly unrelated objects together and challenging to discover methods to attach seemingly incompatible materials to each other,” he said.

Some of his most current work is more simplistic and he finds himself inspired by a Japanese aesthetic. His piece “Trapped Geisha” only displays a photograph and a smoothed tree branch creating a simple but moving image that plays with shadow, muted color, and natural lines.

Tracy Billings of Kendall owns two of his pieces and was excited to attend the Different Path show.

“I think Richard has two really unique skills. The first skill is the juxtaposition of images to create meaning but also the use of found objects.

He uses them as artistic elements.

So, rather than using this branch as a branch he is using it as a line. There’s a linear element. What I like about this show is he’s really developed into more sophistication,” she said.

Billings also was excited to see Barry’s art and felt that the two together are a great artistic pairing.

“They complement each other because of the rural elements,” she said.

More than just art brought Della Costa and Barry together. Della Costa has been married to Eileen, Christine’s sister, for more than 40 years.

Eileen Della Costa is also an artist who draws as well as paints with watercolor, and the sisters were excited to be together for the opening night celebration of the show in November, and Eileen Della Costa said she is an “enthusiastic supporter of Richard and Chris.”

Barry’s husband, Bill, a former art instructor at McQuaid High School, is also an artist working in large scale works. He doesn’t show his work these days, but Barry calls him her “muse.”

Different Path gallery owner Katherine Weston was excited about the show and has a particular appreciation for artists like Della Costa and Barry.

“Artists who work with found objects and materials encourage others to see things in a different light. An old rusty nail becomes a chimney or a weathered stick becomes a bird’s beak,” she said. “Or sometimes the combination of objects isn’t literal at all, but the juxtaposition of unrelated objects tells a story.”

42

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

my turn

By Bruce Frassinelli Email: bruce@cny55.com

What’s Your Name Again?

Is this inability to recall names the onset of something ominous?

E

r, what’s your name?

I don’t know about you, but it drives me crazy when I do not remember names of those whom I have met previously.

Putting names to faces is often an exercise in futility for me.

Have you ever gone to a function and seen a person whom you had met on numerous previous occasions but can’t for the life of you remember his or her name? So frustrating.

What is really depressing is when I go to a big function and am introduced to maybe a dozen people I never met before. Within a minute, I cannot remember a single name.

Of course, the first thing I conclude is that I am getting so old that I am forgetting names. Then I catch myself. Wait a minute! This is nothing new; I have been doing this since I have been in my 30s.

I am told that I am not alone. Of all the social “senior moments,” none is more common than meeting someone, introducing yourself, then immediately forgetting the person’s name.

When I encounter someone I had met a while back or someone whom I have not seen in a long time, I start the conversation with “Hi, I’m Bruce Frassinelli.” In my own mind, I am taking the person off the hook in case he or she has forgotten my name or can’t put the face with the name.

I get a variety of responses to this approach. Sometimes, it seems that the person is offended and replies, somewhat in a huff, “I know who you are.”

Being in the public eye, I at times encounter people who greet me as if they are a long lost friend. “Bruce

Frassinelli! How the hell are you?” one person greeted me recently. I, on the other hand, hadn’t a clue as to who the person was.

In situations such as these, I am upfront and admit, “I’m sorry, but I can’t recall your name.”

Sometimes the person is startled by my admission. “It’s Jerry,” comes the unhelpful reply. My quizzical look cues the person to add a last name and, at times, a helpful description of a job or some other identifier.

This usually triggers recognition and elicits from me a “Oh, right, Jerry. So

sorry.”

Is this inability to recall names the onset of something ominous? Not at all, say researchers who have studied this phenomenon.

The simple explanation is that it is normal to forget from time to time. It is also normal to become somewhat more forgetful as we age.

Of course, the $64,000 question is how many memory lapses are too many? And is all of this just the normal progression of things, or is it a symptom of something more serious?

Healthy people can experience memory loss at any age, but unless it is extreme or goes on for a long time it is not considered an indicator of Alzheimer’s, dementia or other memory-afflicting diseases.

Experts point to these as some of the reasons why we experience memory problems: • We tend to forget facts or events over time. How many times do I have to consult Google to determine whether one of the movie or TV stars I followed during my childhood is still alive? Often I knew the answer once but forgot.

• When we don’t pay close attention, we are likely to experience absentmindedness. Where did I put my keys? Why did I miss taking my medications at the prescribed time?

• How many times do we try to think of something, saying it is right on the tip of our tongue. You know the answer as well as your own name, but you just can’t think of it at the moment. An hour later, when doing something else, the answer comes to you.

• Sometimes you remember part of a fact correctly but get part of it wrong. This is called misattribution.

• On occasion, our memory will play tricks on us. We may have made up a story about something in our youth or, more likely, enhanced the details of an event in our favor.

Over the years, we have told and retold the story so many times that we forget it is fiction and now portray it as fact.

On occasion, we even convince ourselves, and fiction becomes fact even in our own minds.

• Meals Daily • 24/7 Emergency Response • Housekeeping • Back Up Generator Power

• Activities, Outings & Entertainment • Medication & Case Management • Free Prescription and Grocery Delivery • On-site Physician and Lab

Call US Today! 315.986.9100 or 585.223.7595

So what to do about this?

Well, I have tried some of suggestions the experts have given me — repeat the name after being introduced, ask the person to spell out the name (especially if it is unusual) and associate the name with something familiar (Oliver from Oswego, George as in George Bush).

I am told that one of the main reasons I have trouble remembering names is that I am not focused or interested enough. So, shame on me.

It’s scant comfort to know that I am not alone. One of the most bizarre moments came a number of years ago when the president of a Central New York women’s organization was introducing me as its guest speaker.

She went into this five-minute litany on my background and raved about how wonderful it was of me to agree to speak to the group of about 40 club members.

She concluded the introduction this way: “And now, ladies, I am so happy to introduce Mr. Bruce….ah, Mr. Bruce…Oh, what the hell is your name?”

—Vincent, CyberKnife cancer patient

Non-invasive and painfree Treatment typically completes in 1–5 sessions Minimal recovery time

Learn more at hoacny.com January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

43

addyman’s corner

By John Addyman

My Problem With Parking Lots

Y

ou know the conventional wisdom that says if you can put a name to something you’re concerned about or afraid of, that makes it easier to deal with.

So here’s the name: tingchechangphobia.

And here’s the problem: parking lots.

Yes, I have a problem with parking lots. I didn’t know it until very recently, but it’s been there for a long time, hiding in the back of my head somewhere.

Things became clear to me in October in two instances. First, I was in a Tops parking lot in Walworth. A very nice Tops and a very nice parking lot.

I had my grandson in the back seat and we started backing out of a parking space.

My Mazda has side-view mirrors, a rear-view mirror, and a back-up camera. It also warns when an object approaches from behind. I had all that stuff going on for me as I backed up and suddenly, BANG! BANG! I hit the brake and looked left and right — nothing. I looked behind the

44

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

car and there stood an elderly couple and the man had had the presence of mind to bang on the back of my car with his hand before I ran over him and his wife and ruined their day and their groceries.

“What was that?” my grandson asked. The man banging on the back of the car with his bare hand had scared him. It had scared me, too.

“I almost ran over two people!” I told my grandson.

“Why did you do that, Granddad?”

Good question.

All the technology, my normal care in looking in every direction, and I still came close to flattening two neighbors.

The second instance happened over two days in Virginia. I had taken a mini-vacation to explore Civil War battlefields and criss-crossed several towns around Fredericksburg. Whenever I got off a main road to visit a fast-food place (that part of the world is home to every franchise imaginable), I got stuck in a parking lot. I’d get to the place where the food was, and couldn’t find my way out, or I’d

make a turn to where I thought the place was, only to find out I was in the parking lot of some other place. I spent 10 minutes trying to get out of Chick-Fil-A one afternoon and finally got so frustrated I went back in for another sandwich and to get directions on how to escape.

It was like a lyric from “Hotel California.” I could check out any time I wanted, I just couldn’t leave.

That brought back another parking lot memory. Three years after my wife and I were married, we decided to take a trip to Canada for our belated honeymoon. We were booked in a hotel in Longueuil, Montreal. We had called ahead to get precise directions.

We drove to a spot where we were looking straight at the hotel.

But we were in the wrong parking lot. We spent the next half-hour going out onto highways and back into parking lots, trying to find the right one.

Finally, we got close enough so there was a space of lawn between us and our hotel and I drove across the grass to get there, taking my chances on being in a very nice Canadian

slammer for the night after being charged with espionage trespass or something.

When we got to the front desk, I complained about the directions we’d been given and told the women behind the desk how we finally got to her hotel.

“Happens all the time,“ she said.

“You Americans?”

Which brings me to Wegmans. I love our local Wegmans, but I realize you have to have 360-degree vision in the parking lot. I’m from Pennsylvania and Connecticut, and it took me by surprise the first time I drove into a Wegmans: there is some kind of mystical benevolent force that governs parking and traffic there.

For instance, it’s completely normal for someone to get out of their car and walk straight into the store, crossing different parking lanes and the fire lane in front of the store without anyone making them a hood ornament. Cars ethereally stop and give ground. Most of those folks traipsing across the parking lot never look up from their phones to see how many cars have stopped to let them pass.

‘I’m from Pennsylvania and Connecticut, and it took me by surprise the first time I drove into a Wegmans: there is some kind of mystical benevolent force that governs parking and traffic there.’

You believe, I think, when you’re driving in a Wegmans parking lot, that every pedestrian is carrying improvised explosive devices in their pockets and if you even nudge them with your car, you will all dissolve in a blaze of glory — so you are extra careful not to get anywhere near anyone who is even thinking of being a pedestrian.

Some invisible ray emanating from the light standards makes everyone more polite, more patient, more careful and more forgiving in a Wegmans parking lot. It’s eerie. In Penn-

SUBSCRIBE

ate? g to Legitim u’re Donatin e Agency Yo th Is s: itie Char

55

Editor@roc55.com

Subscribe today and get 55 PLUS magazine mailed to your home!

KINDNESofS

‘Bread Man’ s Brockport give ,000 away nearly 100 loaves of bread

SHOPPING

ad on Tips to get ahe er Black Friday, Cyb ond Monday and bey

or Rochester sculpt am still going full ste at age 77

onal dent reaches nati ■ Williamson resi track and field prominence in got together ds frien time ■ How two long s in Fairport to start a busines

55 PLUS

Don’t Miss a Single Issue

er 2018 mber/Decemb Issue 54 • Nove ts For Active Adul Area in the Rochester

+

The Magazine For Active Adults in the Rochester Area

ONLY $21.50 PER YEAR

PLUS

Nancy Jurs

sylvania and Connecticut supermarket parking lots, nobody behaves like that. When you step out of your car, you’re on your own. In fact, you’re on your own when you’re in your car.

Maybe the parking lots here are different because everyone in northern New York state is so nice. Seriously.

The first time we drove around in the Albany area, where we used to live, a car sat a little too long at a stop sign in front of us and I did what any Pennsylvania drive would do: I beeped my horn and made a gesture demonstrating grievous peeve.

Four guys got out of the car in front of us almost immediately. I thought I was about to be relieved of a lot of snot, but the first guy stepped up to my window and asked, “Is everything OK? Do you need anything?”

When I said everything was just fine, he wished me a good day, got back into the car with his friends, and off they drove.

My wife looked at me, marveling.

“He must work at Wegmans,” she said.

free please share

Name_____________________________________________________ Rochester’s first real Address___________________________________________________ magazine to celebrate life City / Town_________________________State_________Zip_________ after 55. Don’t Clip and Mail to: $ 1 year miss out future 55 PLUS issues.

P.O. Box 525, Victor, NY 14564 2 years

21.00 $35

January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

45

long-term care

By Susan Suben

F

Cost of Long-term Care Survey

or the past 15 years, Genworth’s company, CareScout, has conducted surveys whose findings try to help individuals plan for long-term care. Genworth just released its 2018 Cost of Care Survey.

The survey includes the median cost of care around the country for nursing homes, assisted living facilities, adult day care, home health aides and homemaker services along with the increase in cost since 2017 and the five-year annual growth rate.

If you are in the process of planning for retirement and would like to include a strategy to protect yourself from the financial consequences of a

46

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

Average Costs in Rochester and Syracuse Region Nursing home

$12,000/month or $144,000/year

Assisted living

$150 to $200/day or $4,500 to $6,000/month

Adult day care

$70/day or $2,100/month

Home health aide

$25/hour Source: CareScout

LTC illness, this is an excellent source of information that includes an interactive map for each state.

CareScout contacted more than 49,000 providers to complete over 15,500 surveys. Below are basic definitions of facilities and services discussed in the survey. It is important

to note that each state may categorize facilities/services differently and so might LTC insurance policies.

Nursing homes. They provide the highest levels of supervised skilled care, 24/7. Services include room and board, rehabilitation, medication management and personal care for

individuals with functional or cognitive limitations.

Assisted living facilities. They provide care in a residential type community. Communal meals, activities, personal care and medication management are included. Oftentimes, assisted living facilities offer a better quality of life alternative to a nursing home. Individuals with functional or cognitive needs can be accommodated but certain restrictions may apply based on the facility’s license.

Adult day care centers. They can conform to a social or medical model.

The centers provide a safe environment for participants that promote socialization through communal meals and planned activities. Some programs also provide medication management and transportation and can cater to individuals with a cognitive impairment. Even though it is a very cost-effective community service, it is generally under-utilized by individuals needing LTC. Home health aides. They can be certified, licensed or trained. Aides can work for Medicare-approved or non-approved agencies and provide personal care but not skilled care.

Homemaker services. They are designed to help individuals remain at home in a safe environment. Services can include laundry, cooking, cleaning, transportation and running errands. One of the chief benefits of homemaker services is the companionship provided to someone who is disabled.

Currently in the Rochester and Syracuse region, the average nursing home costs approximately $12,000/ month or $144,000/year; assisted living ranges from $150 to $200/day or $4500 to $6000/month; adult day care is approximately $70/day or $2100/month; a home health aide costs about $25/hour.

According to the Genworth’s 2018 Cost of Care findings, these are the national median daily rates for nursing homes, assisted living facilities, adult day care centers, home health aides and homemaker services along with the change since 2017 and the five-year annual growth.

What does all this mean to you?

If you are thinking of purchasing LTC coverage, this information can help you select the best inflation protection for your needs. It will also help you determine what daily ben-

Private Nursing Home

$275/day

Increase since 2017:

3%

5-year Annual Growth:

3.64%

Semi-Private Nursing Home:

$245/day

Increase since 2017:

4.11%

5-year Annual Growth:

3.44%

Assisted Living

$4,000/month

Increase since 2017:

6.67%

5-year Annual Growth:

3%

Adult Day Care

$72/day

Increase since 2017:

2.86%

5-year Annual Growth:

2.07%

Home Health Aide

$22/hour

Increase since 2017:

2.33%

5-year Annual Growth:

2.51%

Homemaker Services

$21/hour

Increase since 2017:

.24%

5-year Annual Growth:

2.85%

efit to select in relationship to how much of the risk you would like to assume out-of-pocket and where you will be residing in retirement.

Today, the most popular inflation protection selected by individuals designing a LTC policy is 3 percent compound. If you look at the fiveyear annual growth rates, they are 2.07 percent to 3.64 percent. A policy with 3 percent compound should be adequate.

The findings also show that assisted living is probably in greatest demand. The change in cost since 2017 is the highest of all the services 6.67 percent. This might encourage you to select more robust benefits for this LTC setting.

Trying to insure for nursing home costs, especially in the Rochester-Syracuse region, is very difficult because of how it impacts a LTC premium.

Claims history supports the fact that most individuals want to stay at home or enter assisted living if they become

ill. Designing your policy around the cost of home care and assisted living is a good approach, especially if most of your assets are in qualified funds (IRA, pension, 401K). Once you are taking the required minimum distribution, the funds are no longer considered an asset and therefore not susceptible to a Medicaid spend-down.

Utilizing the information found in the yearly Genworth Cost of Care survey is invaluable as you plan for LTC in retirement. This expense cannot be overlooked but it can be managed in a cost-effective way.

Susan Suben, MS, CSA, is president of Long Term Care Associates, Inc. and Elder Care Planning. She is a consultant for Canandaigua National Bank & Trust Company. She can be reached at 800-422-2655 or by email at susansuben@31greenbush.com.

January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

47

The Retirement Benefits of a Health Savings Account

By Jim Miller

A

health savings account is a fantastic financial tool that can help you build up a taxfree stash of money for medical expenses now and after you retire — but there’s a catch. To get one, you must have a high-deductible health insurance policy.

How They Work Health savings accounts (or HSAs) have become increasingly popular over the past few years as health care costs continue to skyrocket, and because more and more Americans have gotten high-deductible health plans.

The benefit of a HSA is the triple tax advantage that it offers: Your HSA contributions can be deducted pretax from your paycheck, lowering your taxable income; the money in the account grows tax-free; and if you use the money for eligible medical expenses, withdrawals are tax-free.

48

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

And if you change jobs, the HSA moves with you.

To qualify, you must have a health insurance policy with a deductible of at least $1,350 for an individual or $2,700 for a family.

This year (2018), you can contribute up to $3,450 if you have single health insurance coverage, or up to $6,900 for family coverage. Next year (2019) you can contribute slightly more — up to $3,500 for single coverage or up to $7,000 for family coverage. And people aged 55 and older can put away an extra $1,000 each year. But you cannot make contributions after you sign up for Medicare.

The money can be used for out-ofpocket medical expenses, including deductibles, co-payments, Medicare premiums, prescription drugs, vision and dental care and other expenses (see IRS.gov/pub/irs-pdf/p502.pdf, page 5, for a complete list) either now or when you retire for yourself and your spouse as well as your tax dependents.

And unlike a flexible spending account, an HSA doesn’t require you to use the money by the end of the year. Rather, HSA funds roll over year to year and continue to grow tax-free in your HSA account for later use. In fact, you’ll get a bigger tax benefit if you use other cash for current medical expenses and keep the HSA money growing for the long term. Be sure to hold on to your receipts for medical expenses after you open your HSA, even if you pay those bills with cash, so you can claim the expenses later.

There’s no time limit for withdrawing the money tax-free for eligible medical expenses you incurred anytime after you opened the account.

But be aware that if you do use your HSA funds for non-medical expenses, you’ll be required to pay taxes on the withdrawal, plus a 20 percent penalty. The penalty, however, is waived for those 65 and older, but you’ll still pay ordinary income tax on withdrawals not used for eligible expenses.

How to Open a HAS You should first check with your employer to see if they offer a HSA, and if they will contribute to it. If not, you can open an HSA through many banks, brokerage firms and other financial institutions, as long as you have a qualified high-deductible health insurance policy.

If you plan to keep the money growing for the future, look for an HSA administrator that offers a portfolio of mutual funds for long-term investing and has low fees. HealthEquity, OptumBank, The HSA Authority and Bank of America are the top ranked HSA providers for longterm investing according to the investment research firm Morningstar.

To search for providers, visit HSAsearch.com.

After setting up your HSA plan, adding money is pretty straightforward. Most plans let you do online transfers from your bank, send checks directly, or set up a payroll deduction if offered by your employer. And to access your HSA funds many plans provide a debit card, some offer a checkbook and most allow for reimbursement.

55+ q&a David Basinger, 71

By Ernst Lamothe Jr.

Man of many hats enters his 40th year of teaching at Roberts Wesleyan College — has taught more than 10,000 students Q.: What do you enjoy about teaching?

A.: Over the years, I just love talking to people about their beliefs and making a difference in people’s lives. Every year, you have a new group of people who come in with certain beliefs based on their culture, their family and their upbringing. It is a wonderful experience to see them expand their minds and be part of robust conversations that can transform the way they think about things. Your life can be changed just by having conversations with people who are from different backgrounds or just have different perspectives.

Q.: Why is it important to have these interactions?

A.: We have this belief at Roberts that our job is to help students connect their head to their heart and engage their hands. We want them to make a tangible difference with the knowledge they learn and that is essential today. People are always looking for meaning and purpose as they attempt to achieve their goals. We need to develop a society who actively engages in helping others and not just thinking about helping themselves.

Q.: What are some of your core beliefs?

A.: I really do believe that people who want to be healthy and productive mentally must have a purpose.

I tell my students that being around people who are diverse helps you see the world better. Everyone comes into the world with different lenses. However, the more lenses we have, the better we are able to address and discuss important points of views. You have to get away from the thought that your own ideas are the only ones that matter. There is so much value in hearing various sides. There is a lot

more nuisance in the world and answers aren’t just simple.

Q.: What have you liked about your time teaching?

A.: We have a philosophy that believes in the willingness to work together. It is an atmosphere that is conducive to learning, openness and overall camaraderie. We seem to have lost the ability to have civil conversations and discourse. Diversity is important not just for diversity sake. It makes you grow as a person. It guides you intellectually and brings a certain cultural humanity into everything you do. I know it is cliched, but it is true the saying if you love what you do then you never have to work a day in your life.

Q.: How has education changed over the last four decades?

A.: The funny part is one of the biggest shifts continues to be how students act and technology.

Before you walked into the classroom and you had students talking to each

other and you would have to quiet them down before classes starts.

Now, you have students come into class and they are all checking their phones up until class starts and you have to get their attention to silence those phones as class begins. I think interpersonal skills are something that students need to make sure they are developing.

Q.: What do you like to do in your spare time?

A.: I enjoy reading murder mysteries and traveling with my wife, Linda. We have gone to Greece and Italy and next want to explore the Scandinavian region. We like to immerse ourselves wherever we go so we don’t often go on tours when we travel. We just like to be embedded as part of the culture.

Q.: What advice would you give to people that you have learned as you have gotten older?

A.: I think it is important to identify a purpose to your life. Make sure you spend time enjoying the world and being around great people. I tell people you can have all the high-paying jobs in life but if you don’t find something to get involved in that truly brings you joy then you are not living a worthwhile life. I find my meaning in helping people. That is why I am still here and not thinking about retirement.

David Basinger, professor of philosophy and ethics at Roberts Wesleyan College, also serves as vice president for academic affairs and chief academic officer.

January / February 2019 - 55 PLUS

49

7th Generation Medical Acupuncture Anti-inflammatory Therapy for Neuropathy, Pain, Numbness, Tingling Diabetes Care and Cancer Supportive Care www.AcupunctureCenterUSA.com Anti-Inflammatory Acupuncture Therapy: More than Pain Management Relieve Side Effects of Steroidal and Non-steroidal Anti-inflammatory Drugs, & More Inflammation Builds Roots of Most Diseases, 7th Generation Medical Acupuncture Builds Host Immunity and Power Philosophy of Care: Treat the Roots of Diseases Rui Wang, MD of China, L.AC. Experienced in both Western Medicine & Traditional Chinese Medicine Experienced in both Academic & Private Practice Experienced in both Basic Science & Clinical Science Experienced in Cancer Research at Major Medical Centers in USA

CLINICALLY PROVEN TO BE SAFE AND EFFECTIVE Acupuncture is a general practice alternative medicine, it can help a wide range of health problems at different extents.

Ask for professional, confidential, personalized evaluation / consultation appointment before starting any treatment

Acu-Care Acupuncture Center 7th Generation Rui Wang, LLC

Clinton Crossings Medical Center

Building C, Suite 105, 919 Westfall Road, Rochester, NY 14618 Tel1: 585-358-6186; Tel2: 585-471-8118; Tel3: 315-329-7666; Tel4: 315-378-5556

Ancient Wisdom Integrated with Modern Medicine

50

LIFE CHANGING MEDICINE, MOVING MEDICINE FORWARD

55 PLUS - January / February 2019

PROVIDING END-OF-LIFE CARE IN A PEACEFUL, PRIVATE SETTING. The Leo Center for Caring is designed for people in need of hospice and palliative care. But we’ve also designed it with their families in mind. Our large patient rooms, kitchens and lounges provide plenty of space to gather, prepare meals, and share memories. There’s even a full guest bathroom for family members who want to remain close by. To schedule a visit, call Holly, our Admissions Nurse, at (585)697-6308.

St. Ann’s Community ˜ 1500 Portland Ave. ˜ Rochester, NY 14621 stannscommunity.com/leo-center-for-caring

55 plus.indd 1

6/4/18 12:13 PM

INVESTMENTS FINANCIAL PLANNING TRUST & ESTATE RETIREMENT INSTITUTIONAL PRIVATE BANKING FA M I LY W E A LT H

A sound financial plan today can help

secure your tomorrow.

CNB Wealth Management’s 10 CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ professionals.

Let CNB Wealth Management develop and manage a custom financial plan just for you.

Developing a sound financial plan now can help you meet your needs and achieve your dreams in the future. Our local team of 10 CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ professionals can meet with you to assess your current situation and create a holistic financial solution that’s tailored to you.

As a client, you’ll enjoy seamless access to comprehensive financial services through Canandaigua National Bank & Trust. And no matter the size of your relationship, you’ll get the same personal attention we’ve used to build long-term client relationships. All backed by a Pledge of Accountability:* our promise to provide the highest level of service.

ROCHESTER 600 East Avenue CANANDAIGUA 72 South Main Street BASIN PARK 1150 Pittsford-Victor Road

CNBank.com/FinancialPlanning | (585) 419-0670 | Trust powers since 1919

*To see the full version of our CNB Pledge of Accountability and the details of our Fee Refund Guarantee, visit CNBank.com/Pledge. Investments are not bank deposits, are not obligations of or guaranteed by Canandaigua National Bank & Trust, and are not FDIC-insured. Investments are subject to investment risks, including possible loss of principal amount invested. Other services may be offered through affiliate companies.