55 Plus of Rochester #87: May - June 2024

Issue 87 – May-June 2024

For Active Adults

Solo Traveling

Gwenn Voelckers, the author and columnist of “Live Alone and Thrive,” recently spent 10 days in Paris. She talks about her solo experience and offers suggestions for women (and men) traveling alone. Plus: she lists her favorites spots in the City of Lights. P. 52

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• In a new book, astrophysicist says we could soon could find out whether

• Biking around Rochester, Upstate. Cycling:

• From CEO to

• Table tennis is hot in Rochester (who knew?)

• Penfield author is about to publish

• Tracy Eckstrand: from school psychologist to singer-songwriter

• Elderly Brothers: Spreading joy one song at a time

• Part of it is to learn how to spend money saved over the years

• Gwenn Voelkers travels to Paris alone — and shares her experience

• Teresa Schreiber Werth: Reflections on a journey

Author and columnist Gwenn Voelckers stands atop the Arc de Triomphe in Paris.

•

• For Beth Ares it was a song that got her started

• Area zipline parks offer thrills and birdseye views

• David Longeil finds joy in running a balloon business — he has piloted more than 2,000 flights so far

ABy Jim Miller

savvy senior Healthy Travel Tips for Travelers

dream vacation can turn into a real nightmare if you get ill or injured while you’re away and aren’t prepared. Before setting out, here are some tips to help ensure a safe and healthy trip for you and your spouse.

• Get prepared: Before you go, talk with your doctor about your travel itinerary and what precautions you need to take before traveling. You should also have your doctor’s contact information with you when you travel, as well as a list of the medications you’re taking in case you need emergency medical care while you’re away.

If you’re traveling abroad, the U.S. consulate or embassy in the countries you’re visiting (go to step.state.gov to enroll your trip) is a good place to get a referral. Or use the International Society of Travel Medicine’s directory at ISTM.org.

If you’re traveling outside the U.S., you also need to find out the health conditions of the country you’re visiting and what, if any, vaccinations or preventive medications are recommended. See CDC.gov/ travel or call 800-232-4636 to get this information.

• Check your insurance: If you have private health insurance or a Medicare Advantage plan through an HMO or PPO that covers in-network doctors only, check your plan to find out what’s covered if you need medical care when traveling outside your geographic area.

Beneficiaries that have original Medicare are covered everywhere in the U.S. But if you’re traveling abroad, you won’t be covered outside the U.S. and its territories except in rare circumstances, although some Medicare Advantage plans and some Medigap supplemental policies do provide limited coverage. Most private health plans don’t pay health care costs outside the U.S. either. Be sure to check.

Many retirees traveling abroad purchase travel insurance with medical coverage, which may cover expenses if you cancel the trip, need to be treated while traveling or need to be evacuated for medical care. Make sure the policy will also cover your preexisting medical conditions. To shop and compare policies visit TravelInsurance.com, InsureMyTrip. com or SquareMouth.com.

• Organize your medications: Make sure you have a sufficient supply of medications to last the entire trip.

If traveling by air, you need to pack your medicine in your carry-on bag, so if your checked luggage gets lost or misdirected you won’t be without. It’s best to keep your medications in their original containers to get through airport security without delays. It’s also a good idea to bring along a note from your doctor that explains why you take these medications, especially if syringes or other medical supplies are involved.

For airport security requirements visit TSA.gov — click on “Disabilities and Medical Conditions.” You can also call TSA Cares at 855-787-2227 prior to traveling with questions about screening policies, procedures and what to expect at the security checkpoint.

• Maximize technology: Keep a list of your medications and other important health and medical information handy on your smartphone so you can easily access and share it with emergency health care providers when you’re traveling. Some good apps that can help with this are Backpack Health (BackpackHealth.com) and Capzule (Capzule.com).

Editor and Publisher Wagner Dotto

Associate Editor Stefan Yablonski

Writers & Contributors

Deborah J. Sergeant, Melody Burri

John Addyman, Kit Frucione

Teresa Schreiber Werth Mike Costanza

Columnists

John Addyman, Laurie Haelen Jim Miller, Jeff Weld, Ph.D.

Advertising Anne Westcott • 585-421-8109 anneIGHsales@gmail.com

Linda Covington • 585-750-7051 lindalocalnews@gmail.com

Office Manager Allison Lockwood

Layout & Design Angel Campos-Toro

Cover Photo Provided by Gwen Voelckers

55 PLUS – A Magazine for Active Adults in Rochester is published six times a year by Local News, Inc. at PO Box 525, Victor, NY 14564, which also publishes In Good Health — Rochester's Healthcare Newspaper.

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© 2024 by 55 PLUS – A Magazine for Active Adults in Rochester.

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Yfinancial health

By Laurie Haelen

Leaving a Legacy

ou've worked hard over the years to accumulate wealth, and you may find it comforting to know that the assets you leave behind after your death will continue to be a source of support for your family, friends and the causes that are important to you.

But to ensure that your legacy reaches your heirs as you intend, you must make the proper arrangements now.

There are four basic ways to leave a legacy: (1) by will, (2) by trust, (3) by beneficiary designation, and (4) by joint ownership arrangements.

A will is the cornerstone of any estate plan. You should have a will no matter how much your estate is worth, and even if you've implemented other estate planning strategies.

You can leave property by will in two ways: (1) making specific bequests and (2) making general bequests. A specific bequest directs a particular piece of property to a particular person ("I leave Aunt Martha's diamond broach to my niece, Jen"). A general bequest is typically a percentage of property or property that is left over after all specific bequests have been made. Typically, principal heirs receive general bequests ("I leave all the rest of my property to my wife, Jane").

With a will, you can generally leave any type of property to whomever you wish, with some exceptions, including the following:

• Property will pass according to a beneficiary designation even if you name a different beneficiary for the same property in your will

• Property owned jointly with rights of survivorship passes directly to the joint owner

• Property in a trust passes according to the terms of the trust

• Your surviving spouse has a right to a statutory share (e.g., 50%) of your property, regardless of what you leave him or her in your will

• Children may have inheritance rights in certain states

A word of caution: Leaving property outright to minor children is problematic. You should name a custodian or property guardian or use a trust.

While property that passes by will is subject to probate, property that passes by a trust, beneficiary designation or joint ownership arrangement bypasses probate.

You can also leave property to your heirs using a trust. Trust property passes directly to the trust beneficiaries according to the trust terms. There are two basic types of trusts: (1) living or revocable, and (2) irrevocable.

Living trusts are very flexible because you can change the terms of the trust (e.g., rename beneficiaries) and the property in the trust at any time. You can even change your mind by taking your property back and ending the trust.

An irrevocable trust, on the other hand, can't be changed or ended except by its terms, but can be useful if you want to help reduce estate taxes or protect your property from potential creditors.

You create a trust by executing a document called a trust agreement. The use of trusts involves a complex web of tax rules and regulations and usually involves upfront costs and ongoing administrative fees. It is a good idea to have an attorney draft any type of trust to be sure it accomplishes what you want.

A trust can't distribute property it does not own, so you must also transfer ownership of your property to the name of the trust. Property without ownership documentation (e.g., jewelry, tools, furniture) is transferred to a trust by listing the items on a trust schedule. Property with ownership documents must be retitled or re registered.

You must also name a trustee to

administer the trust and manage the trust property. With a living trust, you can name yourself trustee, but you'll need to name a successor trustee who'll transfer the property to your heirs after your death. A bank can act as trustee or co-trustee if there is no one willing or competent to serve in the role. It is a challenging role, and not everyone will be up to the task so think carefully before naming a family member or friend as sole trustee.

Property that is contractual in nature, such as life insurance, annuities and retirement accounts, passes to heirs by beneficiary designation. Typically, all you need to do is fill out a form and sign it. Beneficiaries can be persons or entities, such as a charity or a trust, and you can name multiple beneficiaries to share the proceeds. You should name both primary and contingent beneficiaries.

A word of caution — you shouldn't name minor children as beneficiaries. You can, however, name a guardian to receive the proceeds for the benefit of the minor child.

You should consider the income and estate tax ramifications for your heirs and your estate when naming

a beneficiary. For example, proceeds your beneficiaries receive from life insurance are generally not subject to income tax, while your beneficiaries will have to pay income tax on proceeds received from tax-deferred retirement plans (e.g., traditional IRAs). Check with your financial planning professional to determine whether your beneficiary designations will have the desired results.

property equally, and at the death of one, the other becomes the sole owner. This type of ownership is called joint tenancy with rights of survivorship (JTWRS). A JTWRS arrangement between spouses is known as tenancy by the entirety in certain states, and a handful of states have a form of joint ownership known as community property.

ownership called tenancy in common where there is no right of survivorship. Property held as tenancy in common will not pass to a joint owner automatically, although you can leave your interest in the property to your heirs in your will.

“Sharon

Joint ownership arrangements may be useful and convenient with some types of property but may not be desirable with all of your property. For example, having a joint checking account ensures that, upon your death, an heir will have immediate access to needed cash. One thing to consider unlike with most other types of property, a co-owner of your checking or savings account can withdraw the entire balance without your knowledge or consent. So, it is a good idea to be careful whom you name in this role.

Creating — and leaving — a legacy is a complex process that tends to evolve over your lifetime, as your circumstances change. Having good partners to help with the legal elements as well as the myriad planning elements can help make it easier for you to navigate the complexity and rest easy knowing your wishes have been fulfilled.

Laurie Haelen, AIF (accredited investment fiduciary), is senior vice president, manager of investment and financial planning solutions, CNB Wealth Management, Canandaigua National Bank & Trust Company. She can be reached at 585-419-0670, ext. 41970 or by email at lhaelen@cnbank.com.

good on me. Sharon was always with me... Sharon loves her customers and it shows in how wonderful she treats them: like family.” - Mrs Ann M. Colarertalo

Dining Out

RESTAURANT GUIDE

IL POSTO BISTRO, CANANDAIGUA

Eatery Boasts a Welcoming Atmosphere and Fine Dining

By Christopher Malone

Il Posto Bistro has a certain je ne sais quoi — something I’ll refer to as the Finger Lakes bistro, and it’s not because it has that particular word in its name.

The Canandaigua eatery reminded me of The Red Dove Tavern, a particular favorite place of mine in Geneva which has closed, as well as other one- or tworoom restaurants across the region.

I’ll define these regional bistros with being on the smaller side but not cramped, having at most three rooms with dining and a bar area, lacking technology or television distractions and featuring a to-the-point menu with intricate but not pretentious options.

Do these bistros differ from any other across the United States or even abroad?

No, it fits the bill in a good way and in a setting that does not feel like a city.

What you see is what you get: Particularly, Il Posto’s casual upscale eatery boasts a welcoming atmosphere,

banks on aesthetic conciseness and is run by a staff with a knack for hospitality.

These are the places subtly giving patrons more than one reason to focus on their food and the people with them.

Il Posto’s Italian-focused onesided menu offers familiar favorites: pastas, a variety of seafood and it even has a section for little humans. Being something I’ve said before — the smaller the menu, the tougher decisions.

We kicked off the meal with a variety of starters: the mussels ($17), the meatballs ($16) and the octopus ($23).

The mussels bathed in a pool of white wine broth which was unapologetic about the noticeable but not overpowering garlic. Aside from the flavor, the majority of the mollusks were meaty and not very gritty — bang for your buck. The starter also came with fresh,

grilled ciabatta bread, valiantly serving its purpose as a sponge for the white wine broth.

The meatballs were as our server promised — huge. The two balls, which were slightly smaller than softballs, sat on a bed of mascarpone polenta. There was something lacking about the meaty duo. The herbs were there, which accentuated the flavor.

Yet my brother-in-law made a good point: They needed more fat. The meatballs did taste on the leaner side. This isn’t knocking the quality of the meat, which didn’t taste bland. A little more fatty oomph would have won us over.

The polenta was very good and didn’t lack in flavor. The use of mascarpone made the cornmeal dish very creamy. I was thinking there wasn’t enough of it but maybe it’s the simple fact I couldn’t get enough of it.

The octopus tentacle was served with nduja (spicy pork sausage), white beans, tomato and olive tapenade. It

1. The vongole is the pasta dish to enjoy if you don’t want to feel stuffed but are not looking to sacrifice flavor. The linguini and white wine sauce dish came with clams, shallots and was topped with chili flakes and breadcrumbs.

2. The octopus tentacle was served with nduja (spicy pork sausage), white beans, tomato and olive tapenade. It also came with gremolata.

3. The special of the evening was the short rib and gnocchi dish. Plus, Il Posto threw mushrooms in with a creamy white sauce.

4. The mussels at Il Posto are bathed in a pool of white wine broth. The starter also came with fresh, grilled ciabatta bread.

also came with gremolata (a green sauce basically comprised of parsley, lemon zest and garlic).

The briny dish may have left the ocean and left any perceived “fishiness” behind but the salt was certainly there. The octopus was either salted a lot or the salt came from the tapenade. It wasn’t 100% clear.

Still, it didn’t deter us from enjoying the meaty tentacle. Author’s note: I really, really don’t like olives. But I highly enjoyed this tapenade and would order it again.

The vongole ($28) is the pasta dish to enjoy if you don’t want to feel stuffed but are not looking to sacrifice flavor. The linguini and white wine sauce dish came with clams, shallots and was topped with chili flakes and breadcrumbs.

The simple yet put-together pasta dish was balanced. None of the

ingredients overpowered each other and there was wine sauce still left over. You may need to ask for more bread.

One of the evening’s specials was the short rib and gnocchi dish ($27), which combines two very delicious things. Plus, Il Posto threw mushrooms in with that creamy white sauce. Sometimes it’s good to rely on instincts and order the first thing that sounds good.

The tender short rib and homemade gnocchi didn’t fall short in any way. The filling pasta dish didn’t permit saving room for dessert.

After adding in four pints of beer, the total came to $149 and change before tip.

The little Il Posto Bistro went big with clean amenities, affable staff and delicious food. It’s highly worth the visit, if you’ve never been, or a revisit several times over.

It’s one of the many places collectively making this Finger Lakes city that much more attractive for vacationers and regional staycationers.

Il Posto Bistro

S. Main St., Canandaigua (585) 905-0535 ilpostobistrony.com facebook.com/profile. php?id=100094334449697 instagram.com/il_posto_bistro

Sunday and Wednesday: Closed Monday and Tuesday, Thursday - Saturday: 4 - 9 p.m.

ARE WE ALL ALONE?

In a new book, University of Rochester astrophysicist says we soon could finally determine whether extraterrestrial life exists

By Mike Costanza book

Astrophysicist and author Adam Frank said humanity has long faced a very important question.

“Is there life beyond Earth?” the 61-year-old asked.

“The Little Book of Aliens,” Frank’s 2023 book, describes how humanity, after speculating about the possibility of extraterrestrial life for thousands of years, could finally determine whether it exists.

“We have everything we need to start to get data relevant to it,” he said. “I wanted people to understand how remarkable that is.”

Frank‘s interest in the stars began to develop as a child growing up in Belleville, New Jersey, when he began reading his father’s collection of pulp science fiction magazines.

Those dramatic depictions of spacemen and women, rocket ships and new, mysterious worlds helped

send him on a journey that eventually took him to the University of Rochester department of physics where he is the Helen F. and Fred H. Gowen professor.

During his lengthy academic career, Frank has researched the formation and development of stars and studied the evolution of planetary atmospheres. He now focuses upon astrobiology, a field that deals with the nature, existence and search for extraterrestrial life. In addition, the self-styled “evangelist for science” has penned op-eds for The New York Times, been interviewed on WXXIAM 1370’s popular “Connections” talk show, written for National Public Radio and been a regular commentator on CNN.

Frank has also traveled the country speaking about topics of critical importance to the future of this planet and written or co-written several books, including scholarly texts and works

that present their complex subjects in ways that are understandable to the general public. His 2018 book “Light of the Stars: Alien Worlds and the Fate of the Earth” examines climate change from a cosmological perspective. Its publication led to a cover story about Frank in 55-PLUS, September-October 2018 edition.

“The Little Book of Aliens” is Frank’s effort to make the search for extraterrestrial comprehensible and meaningful for readers.

“It’s one of the oldest coherent scientific questions that we’ve ever asked,” he said. “You can go back to the ancient Greeks and see them arguing over it.”

Until about 30 years ago, most astronomers did not take the question existence and search for extraterrestrial life seriously. There was scant interest in astrobiology and very little funding for research into extraterrestrial life.

“You use the word ‘alien’ and everybody kind of raises their eyebrows,” Frank said. “It’s what we call the ‘giggle factor’ that’s been prevalent in science and society for so long because of UFOs (unidentified flying objects).”

Unidentified flying objects, aerial objects or optical phenomena that are not readily identifiable, have been a subject of popular interest and sometimes subject of US government studies, since World War II. Now called “unidentified anomalous phenomena” or UAPs, they are thought in some circles to be evidence of extraterrestrial life. A 2023 NASA study found no evidence that they are of extraterrestrial origin.

Attitudes toward the search for life beyond the Earth began to change in the 1990s as technological advances in ground-based telescopes and the launching of space-based observatories like the Hubble Space Telescope opened vast parts of the cosmos to observation. Those advances led to the first discovery of planets that are orbiting stars outside of our solar system, or “exoplanets.” The light

coming from those stars could reveal the presence of life on the planets orbiting them.

As starlight passes through a planet’s atmosphere, it picks up clues to the makeup of that atmosphere.

“When that light finally gets to us, that light has a fingerprint, a spectral fingerprint, of the elements, compounds, molecules that are in the atmosphere,” Frank said.

For about the past 20 years, astrophysicists and other researchers have examined those spectral fingerprints for “biosignatures,” the elements, molecules, substances or features that indicate that life exists, or once existed, on exoplanets. For example, the presence of oxygen, which is a byproduct of photosynthesis, would indicate that plant life exists.

“Twenty-one percent of the Earth’s atmosphere is oxygen, and it’s only there because of life,” Frank said.

Until recently, most researchers refused to examine the starlight that bathes exoplanets for “technosignatures,” properties or effects that are evidence of the current or past existence of technologies on

those planets. Industrial pollution, for example, could indicate the existence of intelligent life. For a long time, most researchers did not take the idea of such life seriously.

“Technosignatures, because we’re talking about intelligent life, still suffered from the giggle factor,” Frank said. “NASA was almost explicit. They’d say, like ‘Oh send us proposals to study life in the universe, but not intelligent life. Intelligent life got connected to the silliness surrounding UFOs.”

That’s changed in the last few years.

“Astronomers recognized that, like, it doesn’t make any sense to somehow put a little box around the possibility of intelligent life,” Frank said.

Seeking to advance the search for intelligent life in the heavens, Frank and a small number of other astrophysicists formed Categorizing Atmospheric Technosignatures (CATS). Using nearly $1 million in NASA grants, the group plans to create a library of possible technosignatures to aid in the examination of exoplanets.

Though astronomers’ and astrophysicists’ attitudes about extraterrestrial life are changing, the technology for finding it is still catching up. The James Webb Space Telescope is the most powerful telescope ever built, but it still might not be up to detecting evidence of extraterrestrial life.

“The JWST has some of the capabilities that we need to do this, but we’d be lucky…if we actually were able to find a biosignature,” Frank said.

Recognizing the importance of the search for life beyond the Earth, NASA plans to build and launch a telescope that’s designed for that purpose, the Habitable Worlds Observatory. Frank said the telescope probably won’t be ready to launch for about 20 years.

A successful search for extraterrestrial life need not reveal the kinds of human-like creatures that populate popular science fiction television shows. Even the discovery of single-cell bacteria on Mars would be a breakthrough.

“If we found single-cell bacteria on Mars that had a different evolutionary lineage than Earth…that would

show us that the formation of life is something that has happened more than once and therefore probably happens all the time,” Frank said.

A discovery of that magnitude could change the way we perceive ourselves and our world in much the same way that the theories of Polish astronomer Nicholas Copernicus catapulted the intellectual world forward in the 1500s. At a time when the Earth was thought to be the center of the solar system, Copernicus proposed that our planet orbits the sun and turns

on its axis. His ideas spurred what came to be called the “Copernican Revolution.”

“The Copernican Revolution becomes a central part of the reorganization, the political, philosophical, economic reorganization, of the world,” Frank said.

“It figures prominently in the Renaissance, in the Enlightenment and even in the Protestant Reformation.”

At a time when a number of crises afflict the world, the discovery of extraterrestrial life could also help us put our troubles in perspective.

“It just, in a certain way, means the universe is far more open-ended,” Frank said. “It also tells us that we’re part of a cosmic community of life.”

It’s easy to get comfortable in this warm and welcoming independent senior living community. Inviting amenities, friendly neighbors, supportive staff, plus an array of convenient ala carte options. Linden Knoll offers:

• Monthly rent of $1,148 includes utilities, cable and internet

• On-site laundry and a small grocery store

• Wellness center

• On-site salon

• Emergency call system with 24/7 on-site response

• Meal delivery and grab-and-go options available

• Weekly physician visits and lab services provided by U of R Geriatrics Group

• On-site physical, occupational and speech therapy

• Transportation to nearby shopping

• Preferred consideration to the Friendly Home (585) 248-1135 or tstout@lindenknoll.org

PEDAL ABOUT ROCHESTER

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

Most people have ridden a bicycle as a youngster, but many leave behind cycling once they’re able to purchase their first car.

That’s true for Rochester resident Fernando Galiana, 55, a production manager for Thermo Fisher Scientific in Penfield.

He had bicycled as a child but over time, bicycling became less of a priority. Life gets busy, and often, physical recreation is pushed aside. A few years ago, Galiana decided to get back into cycling for its physical benefits.

“I borrowed a friend’s bike and got back into it,” he said.

He did a little more than “get into it.”

Galiana became such an avid cyclist that he now serves as vice president of the Genesee Valley Cycling Club.

Though most of the members are younger than 55, he said that a handful are around his age.

The group promotes bicycle road racing in Monroe and surrounding counties. It was founded in 1979 and became affiliated with USA Cycling since 1983. Genesee Valley Cycling Club promotes events such as Spring Giros Training Series (a giro is a bicycle tour), GVCC Classic Road Race, G-Tour, a weekly Tuesday and Thursday night training series and Junior Cyclocross Clinics.

The organization’s membership levels are $35 for all Spring Giros, $20

trial membership (not giro eligible), $110 full membership. Student membership is free.

Galiana likes cycling in the Rochester area as “it’s so easy to get outside of town and the roads here are very good and low in traffic. You can ride for miles in beautiful scenery.”

He encourages anyone interested in picking up cycling as a 55-plusser to “just do it!” — as the Nike advertising campaign famously put it.

The Rochester Bicycling Club includes cycling for recreation, health and transportation, not just racing.

Founded in 1967, the organization promotes cyclist rights and safety on roads and trails. Member cyclists include those interested in touring, racing, mountain biking, tandem

models, recumbent and e-bikes.

The organization’s ride events include the Rochester area, Finger Lakes and Southern Tier. Their varied terrain of the region keeps the mix of ride types varied as well, from flat to hilly. Some rides are as short as 10 miles; others surpass 100 miles. The club welcomes members ranging from new riders to seasoned ones.

The club also hosts social outings including picnics, dinners and a midwinter gathering.

Just for Giggles Cycling is a Facebook-based group that hosts rides and notifies the public about fun rides hosted by other organizations in and around Rochester. The page is meant for the cyclist not interested in racing but in enjoying non competitive riding in groups to boost safety and camaraderie.

The Rochester Gravel Collective is the local chapter of a self-described “ride what you brung” cycling group of racing and riding enthusiasts. The organization focuses on keeping bicycling accessible to underrepresented groups. The Rochester Gravel Collective holds scheduled events like workshops, rides and social events. Membership ranges from free to $75 for families.

For more information:

• Genesee Valley Cycling Club https://gvccracing.com

• Rochester Bicycling Club rochesterbicyclingclub.org

• Just for Giggles Cycling www.facebook.com/ groups/jfgcycling

• The Rochester Gravel Collective https://thegravelcollective. com/rochester

Rochester resident Fernando Galiana, 55, became such an avid cyclist that he now serves as vice president of the Genesee Valley Cycling Club. The group promotes bicycle road racing in Monroe and surrounding counties.

Cycling: Cheaper Than Therapy

By Kit Fruscione

Afavorite childhood memory I have is my dad teaching me to ride a bike.

I can still to this day visualize him running behind me in his plaid Bermuda shorts, holding onto the back of the sparkly blue banana seat of my Schwinn bike. My skinny little legs pushing the pedals faster and faster until he let go and then, it was if I was flying! I was riding a bike!

The feeling I had that warm, sunny summer evening as I coasted down our neighborhood sidewalk was disbelief and utter joy. I was as doing it! All on my own!

My balance kept me upright. My pedals propelled me further and further away from the safety of my dad. He surely must have held his breath as he watched me speed away from him, unsupported. That day, back in 1969, on Norwood Avenue in Niagara Falls, a cyclist was born.

Into my teen and adult years my bike became my escape, bolsterer of self-esteem and never-faltering best friend. It was always there for me during times of sadness, loneliness, happiness or stress. Never asking me any questions, no judgments, just a silent partner, provider of release and distraction.

Cycling had witnessed breakups, work stress, loss of a loved one, falling

in love and landing new jobs. It was during these times it became a beacon in the storm of life whether good times or bad. Each revolution of the pedals taught me acceptance or thrust me forward, toward change.

As the years rolled on, I used cycling as a form of competition, mental health and adventure. Participating in local races and bike tours throughout the country and world, my bike continued to provide me with experiences of awe.

Riding across the country during the summers of 2010 to 2011 was a definite highlight. My cross-country tour began in Anacortes, Washington, and continued across the northern tier route, to Bar Harbor, Maine. Those 4,200 miles was without doubt one of my biggest accomplishments. Talk about a shot to the arm of heightened self confidence. I was over the moon as I rode into Bar Harbor that rainy July day, completing those thousands of miles. Making it more incredibly amazing was, I rode all that distance with a group of women on a guided tour over the course of those two summers. Summer of 2010, we rode from Washington state to North Dakota, and then summer of 2011 we went the final leg, North Dakota to Maine. The way this tour was split up was perfect because teaching allowed

me to have my summers free.

As time went on, touring in Europe became my new quest. Italy, France, Spain, Scotland, Ireland and beyond. Each country had its own different type of beauty. Riding through the hills and peaceful countrysides of these unique places has made me forever grateful for this simplistic two-wheel invention, the bike. One of the best T-shirts I have ever owned was, “Cycling: Cheaper Than Therapy.” And it was true as I found out when my anxiety and ADHD took off at a reckless and high rate of speed. Again, cycling was there as my patient, constant teacher, pacing me and maneuvering me through the turbulence and obstacles that I learned was to become a part of life.

Cycling is something you can do into your 80s, as I have seen friends do. That can give us all hope in staying active. Having a form of movement that is not only a provider of health but can be a piece of the fabric of our happiness is something worthy for us all to pursue. Now, ready to enter a new decade in life, with 60 years of age knocking at my door, I am willing to answer it. Knowing I will have my forever best friend, my bike there beside me, always waiting to show me the way.

Jim Wolfe

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From CEO to Average Joe guest columnist

Iretired seven weeks ago. Despite great anticipation and meticulous planning for a smooth segue, it was a shock.

Still is.

Up until the first Tuesday of last month I was a high-octane executive in overdrive. That Wednesday I was merely Jeff.

The rollercoaster braked for disembarkment. One day my email inbox dinged like a slot machine; the next day was ding withdrawal, salved only by occasional LinkedIn connection requests.

From incessant texts asking favors or appointments, today’s messages are from the pharmacy — pick-up reminders. Phone calls are typically political campaign robo-dials.

The downshift was so swift I got a bit of retirement whiplash. Is this common to executives, I wonder, or a Jeff thing? I asked Google.

The search engine’s artificial intelligence assumed I was asking for the organization. “When a CEO retires” netted lots of advice on when and how a company should swap out CEOs (12 years is the magic time apparently). Exit while on top, said one blogger. I did, but the jolt is higher volt than staying on past prime when the

fan base drifts.

Scrolling further, links began to focus more on preparing executives to retire. Have a plan, yes. Serve on boards, sure. Pursue hobbies, check. Stay fit, of course. Travel. Take or teach a class. Keep a routine. All good advice I had long since factored in. The bones of a fourth book await my fleshing out. A couple of executives seek my mentoring. Various trips are concretizing on the calendar. Two vintage motorcycles await restoration in my shop. And I relish becoming a gym rat.

But Google did not scratch the itch for me. Where are the empathetic counselors coaching me on the loss and loneliness of sudden exit from leadership? So, I sharpened the query to “What is it like for a CEO to retire?”

Better results, in my ballpark if not strikes. “Giving up their jobs feels like stepping off a cliff” wrote Bill George for The CEO’s Guide to Retirement in the Harvard Business Review, December of 2019. OK so maybe the early funk is a common rite of passage. His solution though, is a familiar prescription of hobbies, gigs, and books, all of which are fine and right, just months or even years down the road.

What about the early days and weeks when falling from that cliff? I scrolled down a dozen more of the 184 million hits in the search bar. A post from the executive consulting firm Vistage sounded promising, The CEO’s Guide to Success in Retirement. “Some have described the move from work to retirement as jarring and upsetting, akin to falling into a black hole. Others say they felt grief, fear or aimlessness after losing their identity, schedule and sense of normalcy.” That’s it on the nose.

Now, how about the fix?

That’s where all the retirement advisories fell short. They default to coaching us to pick up a side hustle, to keep learning, stay active on social media and stay on schedule. Gracious advice to be sure, just leap-frogging the near-term effects of stepping down. What about the hours and days immediately following the standing ovation, the decorated cake, the selfies with staff, all the toasts and highfives? From the royal send-off into an ephemeral period of grief and identity loss, eventually rebounding to write and teach and grow on a new schedule. I could not find any advice about weathering the early transition. So here’s mine.

1 — Cushion the landing

In the weeks leading up to retirement, calendar a couple of conferences or events of the industry that follow immediately on the heels of separation. I scheduled two speaking engagements of national trade groups for my first week of freedom. They helped to ease the off-boarding shock while fueling my consulting service. I’d pre-printed business cards of my new identity for just such events.

2 — Get out of town

I retired twice from organizational leadership roles – one a federal post and recently a state directorship. In both instances, my spouse arranged a drop-everything-and-go tropical getaway. Assessing your lot and plotting next moves from a beachside hammock is a potent reset button.

3 — Embrace your shrunken world.

After years of delicately balancing

work and family time, sometimes erring toward work, come home, literally and figuratively. Those few weeks of adjustment will soon enough yield to new jobs, hobbies and commitments. In the meantime, revel in folding laundry, doing dishes, movies with family, double dates, reading novels, nature hikes, all the while journaling to focus your thoughts.

4 — Hone your underlying identity

From CEO to average Joe, our constant has always been and will always be family. Those of us fortunate to still have our parents are most certainly due for visits. Same for grandkids if lucky enough to have them. As for siblings and grown children, handwritten letters and phone calls serve both the sender and recipients well.

5 — Spend time

Especially in those black hole moments, remind yourself to cherish the privilege. You have earned the resources and the time ahead to be freer than ever before in life. What might have been a waste of your precious time in the past — a nap, a TV show, shopping, a home repair — is now life’s joy. Ratchet back spend away.

6 — Now, about that book, that hobby…

If you Googled “executive retirement” in search of solace and comfort when your world shrinks and irrelevance hangs over head, I hope this article pops up and helps.

Jeff Weld recently retired as chief executive of the Iowa Governor’s STEM Advisory Council as well as serving as chief innovation officer at the Iowa Department of Education. In 2018-19 he was White House senior policy adviser in the Office of Science and Technology Policy. He is now an emeritus professor at the University of Northern Iowa and operates an executive consulting firm jeffweldllc.org.

TABLE TENNIS ANYONE?

Ready to graduate to table tennis? The game has changed… and so have you

By John Addyman

The question is not, “Why are so many people playing table tennis in Rochester?” No, the question is, “Why aren't you playing table tennis in Rochester?”

You’d have company.

Table tennis — ping pong — is a game we’re all familiar with.

It was invented by some bored British colonialists in India in the late 1800s. They stacked books on their edges across a dining room table and used other books to bat golf balls across the table.

A lot of gin and Madeira wine fueled the fun, for sure.

From there the humble game went in two directions — across India into the Far East and back to England, where it reached to America and the Commonwealth nations and Europe.

Estimates say there are 360 million ping-pongers, table-tennisers active today.

Here in the Rochester area, table tennis got its start in the 1930s. In the 1950s through 1970s, there were major organizations sponsoring play — the Industrial Management Council League entertained dynamite teams from Kodak Park, Bausch

& Lomb, RG&E, General Railway Signal, Pfaudler’s, Rochester Products, Stromberg Carlson and Rochester Telephone.

The Genesee Valley Table Tennis Club is now the dominant force in the area and seems poised for a resurgence in the sport.

It was reorganized in 1956, grew slowly and kept the flame lit through 2022 — when COVID-19 didn’t kill the activity and many new members joined because it was one of the few active things to do during the pandemic because of the automatic distances between players.

Home to the club’s activities is the accommodating Rochester Sports Garden in Henrietta.

Walk in the door on most days of the week and the first thing you spot is the brightly lit flotilla of table tennis tables, with players dancing an athletic ballet on a new special surface, firing 40-gram balls across a net atop a very study table.

It’s not ping-pong.

“We used to say, ‘Bring your game up from the basement,’” said club representative Jack Mould. The trip is not so far.

New rules mean the game is faster — 11 points to win, no more than two serves in sequence, can’t hide the ball when you serve. No long volleys.

And you don’t need special equipment. A spanking-new table tennis racket will set you back $11.77 on eBay or you can get two rackets and a ball bag for $19.23. Check out Walmart, Dick’s Sporting Goods and Amazon. A lot of economic choices.

Regular indoor racket sports shoes are required — you can’t walk in the door to the Sports Garden from the outside and set foot on the special tennis-table playing surface: you must have a pristine pair of indoor sports shoes in your backpack (with your racket) to use.

The chance of meeting AJ Carney when you walk in is pretty high. He’s a professional table-tennis player and the club’s coach. Table tennis is his life.

“My job as head coach or director of coaches is to build the programs here,” he said. “We have group lessons for youths, for juniors, for adults, for different skills levels and private lessons. I work with other coaches interested in coaching here, giving them more experience. We have

Anthony Corbett (right) concentrates on the flight of the ball and what his opponent is going to do with it in a practice game at the Genesee Valley Tennis Table Club facility in the Rochester Sports Garden in Henrietta.

summer camps and specialty camps for out-of-state players who commute or travel.

“People ask me, ‘They pay you money to hit ping-pong balls?’ That’s what I do.”

He’s also the tournament director.

A local event will draw 50 to 60 players, a medium or larger event brings in close to 100, with players from many states.

Table tennis players start as young as 6 and Carney has clients who are 85 working with him.

“I have a junior class. The youngest kid is 8. We do typically start kids as young as 6 based on longevity [how tall they are] and focus [parents know all about focus],” he said. “Some 5-year-olds will start if they’re tall enough.”

“Normally people who start out buy their own paddle,” Carney added. “Any general sneaker is fine. You don’t need a uniform, things like that.”

Because of the way table tennis grew from its origins, the folks that come to play in Rochester are an eclectic bunch.

“There are a lot of unique people in the sport of table tennis,” Carney

said. He’s competed in enough places to have a more global view and there’s a lesson to it. “We all have our oddities, our quirks. Here are many interesting people in this sport. We have all different backgrounds.”

And the coach spells out a table tennis life lesson: “The unique thing about this sport is that it’s more mental than physical. I’ve played against a lot of people in my career by where if you judge a book by its cover and say to yourself, ‘There’s no way I’m losing to this person; they don’t look athletic’…a lot of times I’d get demolished because I assumed, based on appearance. But their brains, and how they understand the game and how they understand spin, how they understand angles — as long as you understand those three things, you’re really good at the game.”

Octogenarian wins US Nationals

Paul Nielsen, 82, of Lima is really good at the game.

He won two silver medals at the 2021 U.S. Nationals in Ontario, California. He did it again in the US Nationals in Las Vegas in 2022.

Then he picked up a gold medal and a silver at the Joola Global Tournament. (Joola makes table tennis equipment.)

“I started playing when I was about 6 or 7,” Nielsen said. “I was seriously into it in high school and college.”

He was a member of that huge Kodak League and played in a lot of tournaments through the late 1990s, then walked away from it.

“I didn’t start playing again until 2013. Last year I started training with AJ Carney,” he said.

Nielsen left to answer a question about the racket he uses. Another player, who just came off the floor, stopped to drop a piece of advice about Nielsen.

“He’s very tough,” the man said. “Nobody likes to play him. He can be very frustrating.”

He obviously knew what he was talking about.

The man left as Nielsen approached. Was he really difficult to play?

“I try to make things difficult,” Nielsen said, his eyes twinkling. “I love being disruptive.”

Paul Nielsen, 82, of Lima, Livinsgton County, has won medals in recent national table tennis competitions with an exquisite ability to put a particular spin on a ball. "I like to be disruptive," he says.

Oh boy.

“My paddle has long pips on it,” he explained, pointing to the many rubber dimples on the flat surface. “They tend to disrupt the flight of the ball. If I return a topspin, it goes back to my opponent as backspin.”

Nielsen was a senior research chemist at Kodak. His doctorate is from North Dakota State. He’s illustrating what’s going on with the ball with his index finger. Spinning one way coming to him and return with different spin to the opponent. And he’s smiling.

One of the things that folks slowly and sadly realize as they age is that friends from not too long ago have fallen aside. You just turn around and they’re gone.

Nielsen has found that table tennis and the camaraderie of the club have greater meaning to him than some of the younger members.

“This is a big social circle of friends,” he said. “Especially when you’ve retired. This is where you can get out and be with friends…so many great, good friends. If you’re concerned about brain health, to protect yourself, take up table tennis. There is evidence from some research I’ve seen that table tennis is very, very beneficial to brain health. It has been used as therapy for

people with Parkinson’s disease.”

Nielsen recommends training with Carney “for anyone who wants to get started the right away.”

“Just show up,” Carney suggested. “When your average Joe or ping pong player walks in our door and they see table tennis players, they can get intimidated,” he said. “The difference between ping pong and table tennis is that everyone plays ping pong or has played it, in their garage, their basement — what I called casual play. Table tennis is more competitive play. It’s a game with two different environments.

“If you’re curious, just show up, walk in the door. A lot of people will be nice and spend time with you, hit around with you for 10 or 15 minutes. After you play with four or five people, you’ve been playing for an hour or more. Training is also a really good way to explore table tennis. We have foundation classes for adults and youth to learn your basic foundational skills.”

That first sight of all the table tennis players in action as you walk in the door of the Sports Garden is impressive. The flow and fluid grace of the game isn’t lost on you. And when the speed picks up in a match…wow!

How to Get Involved

More information about the Genesee Valley Table Tennis Club

The club’s website, www. GVTTC.com, is a great place to find answers to your questions about playing table tennis.

Anyone can show up to get acquainted with the club seven days a week during what are known as “open play” hours, from 3:30 to 10 p.m. on weekdays and 9 a.m. to 10 p.m. on Saturdays and Sundays. Become a member and play in a league or during those open play times.

Generally speaking, an individual membership is about $600 per year, but there is also a monthly plan at $75 a month if, for instance, you’re a snowbird and can’t use a year’s membership.

Family plans are available, as are lessons with coach AJ Carney on a group or individual basis.

The “History” section of the website is like taking a walk back in time to what the old industrial Rochester was like, and is populated with a lot of names of people you might have been familiar with. It’s almost a Kodachrome memory in black and white.

Also on the website are news, league information, tournament and player data and video to watch live matches. You can also send your questions to the club from the website.

But nothing will compare to a visit to the Rochester Sports Garden during one of those open play times. Take coach Carney’s advice, bring a racket and some clean sneaks and see what table tennis is all about, first-hand.

The Rochester Sports Garden is at 1460 E. Henrietta Road.

Peter Yu is poised to return a ball just struck to him. Table tennis coach AJ Carney says the sport is more mental than physical, with concentration like Yu's making things easier, especially when you're ready to unwind a response like he is.

Kathy Schaefer, who writes under the name of Kathryn Shay, stands in front of her library and many of her 106 books.

romance

A LOVE OF ROMANCE

Penfield

author pens 106 books — one selling more than 1 million copies. At 74, she is embarking on a new project

By Mike Costanza

In 1994, Kathy Schaefer was ready to drop her dream of being a writer of romance novels.

“I had had so many rejections,” the 74-year-old said. “I was this close to quitting.”

Then came that phone call from Harlequin Enterprises, a powerhouse publisher of romance novels.

The moment she picked up the phone, Schaefer realized that her dream was coming true. Publishers send rejections through the mail.

“They don’t call unless it’s good news,” she said.

“The Father Factor,” Schaefer’s first published book, sold 1 million copies. Since then, the prolific author, who writes under the nom de plume Kathryn Shay, has penned another 106 works. That total includes novels, novellas and collections of short stories. Most of her books have been set in Upstate New York or the Southern Tier. All but one have been romances.

Schaefer came to love romantic fiction and movies while growing up in Corning.

While in the ninth grade, she wrote a short story about a young woman named “April Blake” who went to New York City to become a newspaper reporter. The story was never published, but when Schaefer applied to Nazareth College, (now Nazareth University) she wanted to study creative writing. Her mother insisted that she acquire more marketable skills.

“My mother said that I couldn’t support myself as a writer, so I had to take teaching classes,” Schaefer said. “I was furious, but you did what your mother told you in those days.”

She did manage to take 18 hours of creative writing in addition to her classes on teaching. Charles Mills, a respected author, was teaching one of those courses and allowed her to do it as an independent study.

“Every week, I would write a story and he would read it and critique it,” Schaefer said. “When that class ended, he said ‘Ms. Ruocco, [her maiden name] you have talent and you could go far in this area.’”

While attending Nazareth she met the man who later became her husband, St. John Fisher College (now St. John Fisher University) student Jerry Schaefer. After graduating from their respective colleges, they married and moved to Chili, where Schaefer became an English teacher at GatesChili High School. Though she loved teaching, she never lost her desire to write romance novels and other works. Her first book was based on her short story about April Blake.

“It was terrible and it had several rejections,” Schaefer said. “I put it in a drawer and it never saw the light of day.”

Schaefer continued writing while teaching full-time, keeping house and helping to raise two children.

“I used to write on weekends, in mornings,” she said. “Then I used to sometimes get up 4 o’clock in the morning, before the kids got up to go to school.”

By the time she was 45 years old, she’d received more than 60 rejection letters from publishers and literary agents. Then Harlequin agreed to publish “The Father Factor.”

“The Father Factor” features the overworked father of two children.

One has spina bifida, a serious spinal condition and the other is depressed to the point of suicidality. Add to that mix a high school guidance counselor who wants to help the family and you have the elements of a love story.

“As they work together to save the [depressed] child, two adults find the love of their lives,” Schaefer said. “It’s love conquers all, but it’s the love of adults. It’s also the love of family.”

Fearing the effects of the book’s love scenes upon her teaching career, Schaefer adopted the pen name “Kathryn Shay.”

“They were…what I consider wholesome and good love scenes, but I was afraid one of my kids’ mother or father would say ‘Oh my god, my son’s English teacher wrote this,’” she said.

Instead, local parents brought their children to Schaefer’s book signings and sent them to her classroom to ask her to sign copies of her books. In addition, she found having a secret identity to be a bit of a thrill.

“It’s fun being someone else,” Schaefer said. “I used to go to [romance writers’] conferences and I felt like a different person.”

After featuring high-powered businessmen as the protagonists in her first few books, the author placed more heroic figures in the centers of her works.

“I wanted to do something that nobody does and so I thought of firefighters,” she said. “It was the image of a firefighter who runs into a burning building to save people, knowing he might not come out or she might not come out.”

Before turning on her computer, Schaefer set out to learn all she could

Kathy Schaefer sits in her Penfield home in front of some of the awards she has received along the year. The author’s books have been on the New York Times, USA Today, Amazon, Apple and Barnes and Noble bestseller lists, serialized in Cosmopolitan magazine and featured in USA Today, The Wall Street Journal and People magazine.

On Fire to Learn

When Kathy Schaefer wanted to research firefighting, she turned to guys like Joe Giorgione. He was on duty at the Rochester Fire Department’s station at the intersection of Broad and Allen streets when Schaefer appeared.

“We started by showing her around the equipment, kind of explaining how our groups worked, how firefighters worked how the hierarchy was set up,” Giorgione said.

Schaefer was never allowed close to a fire, but rode firetrucks to calls and observed Giorgione and his coworkers in action. She also joined them at meals and talked to them about their jobs.

“It was very pleasant, very professional,” Giorgione said “She wanted the details, which kept us interested because it wasn’t someone who just wanted to try to glamorize firefighting.”

Giorgione said he enjoyed working with Schaefer. Though works of fiction are not his style, “After the Fire,” Schaefer’s 2003 book on the lives and loves of firefighters, was a pleasure to read.

“The way she told the story, things were truthful,” he said.

Giorgione would know. He retired from the Rochester Fire Department as a lieutenant in 2013.

The inside of "After the Fire" features a photo of Schaefer with Giorgione.

about firefighters and firefighting. With the permission of the Rochester Fire Department, the author spent parts of each year from 1997 to 2005 talking to and observing firefighters on the job. During that time, she donned a firefighter’s turnout gear, learned how it felt to use a firehose, played a victim in training exercises and rode firetrucks to calls, though she was never allowed close to a blaze.

In addition, Schaefer read a great deal about firefighting, shared meals with firefighters and spent a lot of time talking to them about their experiences. Those conversations could be very intense.

“After 9/11, I talked to them until 2 in the morning about how they felt,” Schaefer said. “I also had talked to them about what it was like to get burned badly. A lot of them had that experience.”

All that legwork helped her write four series of romance novels that focused upon firefighters, their lives and their relationships — 27 books in all.

Many other types of characters people Schaefer’s’ works, including teachers, doctors, journalists, princesses, sisters, brothers and even

the daughters of Presidents of the United States. Though primarily a romance writer, she hasn’t been afraid to reach beyond her genre. “The Perfect Family” is about a family whose son comes out as gay. Schaefer based the fictional work upon the experiences her family underwent with her son, Benjamin, who is gay.

“I wrote this book because I wished I’d had a book like this,” she said. “It shows the challenges that even a good family has.”

Schaefer retired in 2004 after 33 years as a teacher, moved with her husband to a spacious, brightly lit home in Penfield and continued to write.

She’s recently slowed down a bit to spend time with her husband, Jerry, a retired business executive, their two adult children and their granddaughter.

The author is currently in the very early stages of writing a new series, “Wounded Heroes.”

Praise from friends, other authors

Barbara Keiler has known Schaefer since the early 1990s.

“We were both writing for

Harlequin and we met at a romance writers’ conference — probably the Romance Writers of America national conference,” said Keiler, who writes under the pen name Judith Arnold.

Though Keiler had been a published author of fiction for about 10 years and Schaefer had recently had her first book published, the two hit it off and became good friends.

“We have supported each other during difficult times, cheered each other on and cheered each other up,” Keiler said. “We have worked together on several multi-book publishing projects and I always enjoy working with her. I treasure her friendship.”

Keiler has also enjoyed reading her friend’s works.

“She writes about characters I can relate to and believe in, real-world people who struggle with real-world problems and work hard to overcome them,” Keiler said.

At the same time, she confesses to being awed by her friend’s accomplishments.

“For many years after she first started selling romances to Harlequin, she continued her career as a high school English teacher, a job for which she had as much passion as she did

Barbara

has known Schaefer since the early 1990s.

says, “How she managed to produce so many fabulous books while also teaching full-time, I don't know — but she did it.”

her writing,” Keiler said. “How she managed to produce so many fabulous books while also teaching full-time, I don't know — but she did it.”

Keiler has written more than 100 published romance novels, along with the Lainie Lovett series of humorous mysteries and is currently publishing hardcover literary fiction.

Praise for Schaefer’s Works

Here’s a partial list of the author’s awards:

• Five RT Book Reviews Awards

• Four Golden Quills

• Four Holt Medallion Awards

• The Bookseller’s Best Award

The author’s books have been on the New York Times, USA Today, Amazon, Apple and Barnes and Noble bestseller lists, serialized in Cosmopolitan magazine and featured in USA Today, The Wall Street Journal and People magazine.

5 Things About Kathy Schaefer

1. She and her husband Jerry love to travel. They annually spend time in Jamaica and Florida and have visited Italy, Greece, England, France and Spain.

2. The couple frequently heads to New York City to take in Broadway shows. The last one was “Hamilton.”

3. When at home, Schaefer enjoys reading romance novels, particularly those of the writers she counts as friends, as well as women’s fiction.

4. When she flips on the television, Schaefer likes watching police and fire department dramas — Chicago Fire is one.

5. April, Schaefer’s daughter, is named after the principal character in her first short story and her first novel.

Author

Keiler (right)

Keiler

Valarie Veanes Upson poses in front of an illustration of her book’s cover.

crime

LOCAL AUTHOR PENS ANCESTORS' TRUE CRIME STORY

Pittsford professor weaves her grandmother's Depressionera tale in “Manipulation, Moonshine and Murder”

By Melody Burri

Life can take a dramatic turn with just one click. So it was for Valarie Veanes Upson, a 68-year-old entrepreneur, college professor and Pittsford resident, when in 2020 she stumbled upon an online message addressed to her.

First written in 2015, it had languished in cyberspace for five years — unnoticed and unopened.

The sender was a stranger, but Upson clicked, read and quickly responded to its author, a Diane Jones from Missouri — just like Upson.

Jones’ reply was instant.

“I have something important to say to you but I don’t want to upset you and don’t want to write it here,” Jones wrote.

When the two met face to face, Jones finally unburdened the truth she’d been carrying.

“My grandfather and your grandmother were involved in a murder,” she said.

It was at the height of the Great Depression when Upson’s grandmother, Bethel Veanes, and Jones’ grandfather, Claude Jones, had murdered a man. They were caught, tried and convicted. Bethel and Claude were sentenced and served prison terms.

Upson recognized the undeniable resonance between Jones’ shocking claim and the timeline, location and specifics Upson already knew about her family.

The story sounded plausible, even quite possible.

So began Upson’s fervent

quest in search of facts, details and documentation to support, refute or fill in the blanks of Jones’ story.

For two full years she scoured court records, old newspapers, online ancestry platforms and other public documents. She dug deep into the common practices, laws and social mores of the Great Depression.

Then Upson spent another two years distilling it all into narrative form, writing mostly at night from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m.

“It’s like the universe was telling me, ‘you have to do something with this information. You have to tell this story,’” said Upson.

Accidental author

Upson never intended or wanted to become an author. Her focus is business, entrepreneurship and empowerment.

“I don’t read for pleasure, I read for educational purposes,” said Upson. “It was so overwhelming with that amount of research. And this was really well out of my wheelhouse — I knew nothing about writing dialogue.”

One of Upson’s students who’d done a considerable amount of writing helped her develop that skill.

“I put myself in these people’s minds,” she said. “How would I have felt if I had a child to take care of?”

Special attention was given to the rhythm, cadence and historical accuracy of the account.

“My grandmother smoked about five packs a day and I had to put a cigarette in her hand throughout the

book,” said Upson. “If you read it, you will feel like you are there.

“And even though my grandmother committed a crime, I wanted readers to feel sympathetic because she, like so many women in that time, was manipulated to do things she didn’t want to do,” she said. “They didn’t have any other choices.”

Stars aligned

Tragically, one month after that life-changing conversation, Diane Jones passed away as a result of cancer. Her revelation would have died with her, had Upson not randomly stumbled upon the message when she did and taken a leap of faith.

Four years of research, writing and editing later, Upson self-published the book — “Manipulation, Moonshine and Murder.”

“It’s been an arduous four years, but now that it’s done and I’m getting rave reviews,” she said. “It’s been quite the journey, quite the experience.”

More than 300 copies have been sold, and Upson has been contacted about someone making it into a docuseries.

“They want me to write more so they can do five episodes,” said Upson.

About Bethel

There would be no book without the life and example of Upson’s grandmother, Bethel Veanes. Her tragic upbringing and disturbing manipulation at the hand of a family

member were compounded by the brutality of the Great Depression.

She became pregnant at 16 and was sentenced to an insane asylum at 17, where she endured horrific abuse and forced sterilization.

She had five different husbands — one was her stepson, a panhandler, who was murdered in a bar room fight.

“My dad was eight weeks old when my grandmother was incarcerated,” said Upson. “I knew she went away, but didn’t know where it was. Later my research pointed to an insane asylum.”

During incarceration, Bethel gave away her son, Upson’s father, for three years.

Eventually Bethel went to live in a Missouri “Hooverville,” one of the largest of its kind in the nation. There residents lived in squalor, in buildings built of cardboard, scrap metal and packing boxes.

But people were so kind to each other in Hooverville, Upson said.

“They had a mayor, post office, community center, musicians that would busk,” she said. “They had communities that supported each other with compassion.”

Bethel ultimately died at age 78.

“I knew she always carried around a revolver in her bra, but didn’t know why,” said Upson. “But now I know why she was the way she was.”

Jones’ grandfather, Claude Jones, spent 20 years in Missouri state penitentiary.

Crossing the finish line

It was a monumental moment when Upson put the final period on the final draft of her book.

“It was an unbelievable feeling — I can’t believe I did it,” said Upson. “I didn’t know if it was any good, but I told my grandmother’s story. And I told the story of women and how they were treated during the Great Depression.”

Upson said she’s extremely proud of her grandmother’s will and strength.

“She survived through a terrible, tumultuous time,” she said. “She survived sterilization, probably shock therapy and water treatment.

“I told the story of what a teenage young lady went through during the Great Depression. Many women who went through the court system, who were poor, who were of color — were

sterilized.

“We still are not where we should be as women — we’ve come a long way, but we still need to fight for equality.”

A word to the storytellers

Upson’s charge to her students at RIT Saunders College of Business and Hobart and William Smith Colleges is this:

“You’re blessed to be here, to have encouragement to pursue higher education. You need to empower everyone you possibly can — especially the underserved. Any time we have the ability to empower other people, it’s actually empowering ourselves. The more we give, the more the universe gives.”

Her message to would-be writers is much the same.

“If you have a story to tell and you feel it could be of benefit to other people, you need to do what you have to do to get the word out.”

“There were three times I was going to hang it up,” she said. “It was just too much. But I’m the kind of person who never likes to say ‘I can’t.’ I like to say ‘I can and I will.’

“I never thought in a million years that I’d write a book. But I’ve gotten so many accolades and it’s filled my heart with joy. And more importantly, I told my grandma Bethel’s story.”

The book is available at amazon. com, other websites and local bookstores.

About Valarie Veanes Upson

The 68-year-old Pittsford resident is a life-long woman entrepreneur, artist, adjunct professor of business at RIT Saunders College of Business and Hobart and William Smith Colleges, active community volunteer and tireless seeker of truth.

She lives in Western New York with her husband, has two grown children and has welcomed an amazing granddaughter, who she adores.

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COMMUNITY ACTIVIST WITH A KEEN INSTINCT FOR FAIRNESS

For

Beth Ares it was a song that got her started

By John Addyman

Do you remember the moment when a word, a memory or a deed changed the direction of your life?

Gave you hesitation?

Pushed you into action?

Made you assess your values?

For Beth Ares, it was a song.

“When I was a kid, I heard Woody Guthrie’s song ‘Deportee,’” she said. “I thought, ‘Wow!’ What I got from the song was that these people did all this heavy-labor farm work and when we were done with them, out they went. They had to spend all their money to get here and end up with nothing and we rely on them so much. The song was a story. People died in a plane crash. And all they would call them is ‘deportee.’ We didn’t even give them names. As a kid, that bothered me. It was always in the back of my mind.”

She heard that song in the ‘60s… and it still affects her.

Ares, 73, lives in Sodus, having moved to the wilds of Wayne County from urban living in Rochester and Albany.

She is a volunteer community liaison for Rural & Migrant Ministry for Western New York (RMM), covering an area from Buffalo to Syracuse.

She has grown to wear many hats, nurturing 22 programs centered at the 100-plus-year-old, three-building Grace Episcopal Church Complex in Lyons. She is a committee member, the treasurer and property overseer at Grace Committee, which manages the site. She supports the Youth to Jesus Bible study group, the Geneva Women’s Assembly Clothing Project, the Justice Organization for Youth (JOY), a Wednesday free sandwich

program and many other communityoutreach activities.

For the Rural & Migrant Ministry she is a key volunteer.

Rev. Richard Witt, the state’s executive director for RMM, remembers how Ares worked her way into indispensabilty.

“I first met Beth when she volunteered for helping to drive our young people to their programs,” he said. “It takes about an hour and a half to pick them all up in rural Wayne County and parts of Seneca and Cayuga counties. Beth volunteered to do some driving because it was so hard to get the young people here because there’s no public transportation.

“From Beth volunteering to do that, Beth volunteered to help with some administrative things, then Beth volunteered to help with some of the management of the facilities here, then Beth volunteered to help some of the women get transportation, then she volunteered to drive some of the immigrants to Buffalo for immigration court. Every time we turned around Beth was volunteering for something and every time we turned around here at the Lyons center she was fixing a window or doing some kind of repair.

“We finally felt guilty of taking so much advantage of Beth that we hired her for two hours a week, even though she was spending 15, 20-plus hours. Then she had this habit of not turning in her time sheets.”

Ares has a gift for finding an unmet need and meeting it and for deciding when something is unfair and acting to change the situation.

She’s an activist. A community pusher who rises to injustice. A friend

of the friendless. She’s organized, experienced, relentless and loving.

Stand up and take action

Her careers began at Lawyers’ Co-Op in Rochester, where she was a proofreader.

“That’s kind of where I got my activism from because when the Equal Rights Amendment passed, we were reading the law and we were reading the court cases and the judges’ decisions. We women in the proof room were saying, ‘Wait, that’s what our company does: We have different rules for men and women, we have different pay scales for men and women, we have different job titles, jobs for men and women. This is illegal and people are winning court cases.’ I was a plaintiff — that was back in the 1970s. That’s when I learned I could stand up and take action and fight back.”

Ares went from there to Strong Hospital, where she was a dietetics clerk and ward secretary. She joined the union and became a staff member in it.

“At Lawyers Co-Op and at entrylevel jobs is where I experienced a lot of sexual harassment before it had a name,” she said. “At Strong I found out that when I was in a union job there were rules and protections and somebody to stand up for you.”

That song “Deportee” comes back to her.

“I never forgot about those farm workers,” she said.

She became an investigator for the state Department of Labor and moved to Albany.

Beth Ares of Sodus is a community activist with a keen instinct for fairness in how people deal with farm workers and migrants.

“I visited many farms, looking for compliance with farm labor laws and I visited many farm labor camps and interviewed many farm workers,” she remembered. “I wasn’t happy with what I was seeing and experiencing.”

She worked there for 21 years, then retired.

With retirement came the fulfillment of her husband’s dream — to have a house in the country where he could have a horse and other animals. The couple found just what they were looking for in Sodus. They had left the

urban environments of Rochester and Albany and found paradise in Wayne County. She was now a country girl with time on her hands.

Ares attended a meeting of the Wayne Action for Racial Equality group. She found other people extremely interested in human rights at her First Universalist Church in Rochester and in RMM, where she got started by driving kids to meetings and activities in Lyons.

Rural & Migrant Ministry’s Justice Organization for Youth is particularly

close to Ares’ heart.

“Most of the JOY members are born-in-the-US children of farm workers,” she said. “Most have parents from Mexico and Central America. But the program is not limited to Hispanics. Many of the kids are from Sodus, Williamson and other school districts. My role with JOY is often driving kids and coming up with ideas.”

She said JOY presses leadership development with the kids.

“A couple of years ago when I realized the Sodus School Board was considering banning certain books, I spoke with the RMM director who runs the JOY program and JOY members came to the school board meeting and for the first time these kids spoke to the school board and learned through this that there are ways to speak out in the community and it can be done. People will listen. They since have shown up at other community events. I love working with young people,” she said.

Rev. Witt expanded on that thought.

“There’s something that is just an inherent part of Beth that’s about serving others and welcoming those who are easily marginalized. It’s in her DNA,” said Rev. Witt. “She thinks: ‘Somebody is in need, you respond. Somebody’s being treated unfairly; you stand with them and speak up.’ There are a lot of wonderful volunteers who give of their time and talents in some charitable efforts or social service efforts. Beth does that, but she also adds the components of honoring the humanity of the others by seeking a relationship with them. She doesn’t just drive the young people from their home to the program, she gets to know them and she thinks of opportunities for them. For instance, ‘There’s a scholarship you might want to take advantage of, or there’s a mentor you might want to meet.’ Beth is taking those extra steps.

“Beth can also get really upset if she thinks members of this community are being unfairly treated. Next thing you know she wants to put together a sign that says ‘We welcome farm workers’ or ‘It’s Important to Love Your Neighbor,’ or she’ll be at the board of education meeting or she’ll be at the courthouse. Beth really follows a situation to try to find a permanent solution rather than just a Band-Aid solution.”

Changing a light bulb in the ceiling turned out to be a huge project for Beth Ares and another volunteer.

The next generation

As with any volunteer organization, success depends on the number, quality and enthusiasm of the people who step forward to help. And like many volunteer organizations today, the average age of the folks filling the ranks is skewed toward those who have seen a good number of winters.

But Ares is hopeful. Young, freshfaced volunteers from Hobart & William Smith Colleges have shown up in surprising numbers. That’s one sign. She hopes another will appear.

“We retirees are part of the baby boomers. There are tons and tons and tons of people my age with a social conscience from the Vietnam War era and from the beginning of Earth Day, which frankly we blew: we were there for the first Earth Day and look what our generation has done to the earth since,” she said. “I do not despair that there aren’t more young people because they’re working full time, raising families; some are also doing adult education or stuff.”

On the other hand, she thinks that when people see what she does and how she does it — as busy as she is, “where it’s possible I’ll ask for help with a specific thing from a specific person.”

Many people will step forward and contribute something, if they’re asked.

She believes that fellow baby boomers still have the juice to help, if they’ll think about it.

Rev. Witt echoed a sentiment that many who do volunteer understand.

“I think Beth gets saddened that others don’t see what she sees, which is the benefits and opportunity of volunteering and being present. We truly believe that someone volunteering creates an opportunity for them to deepen and broaden their understanding and perspective about life in their community. It’s getting that foot in the door.

“Most people feel they have very busy schedules and very busy lives. I think volunteering can work for folks. We’re looking for someone who is open to change, open to relationships, open to learning from the people,” Witt said. “Part of our difficulty is that we’re working with a wide group of people who are often different from what

The Guest bedroom is ready in the rectory building on the Grace Episcopal Church Complex in Lyons. It has been used for ministers and teachers who come to deliver programs, and has housed families for short periods while their living arrangements stabilize.

many others might see…an immigrant, someone older or younger, someone who speaks Spanish, all those different things.

“The people RMM works with have some really wonderful wisdom and experiences about living life that I think are beneficial to others. Somebody who’s willing to be open to learning and connecting and somebody who’s hopeful that they can make a difference in our community, in our society…that’s who we’re looking for.”

Rural & Migrant Ministry serves so many needs of people who are mostly invisible in our communities, but play an important role in giving all of us the lives we lead.

RMM helps these people navigate the paths of hope, justice and empowerment.

And for Ares, the signs are so positive.

“Beth is amazing,” said Connie Valk, who is a member of the RMM regional council. “We have a two-week day camp for children of farmworkers on the campus each summer and she volunteers to help with that. She volunteers with the teen group JOY. They are amazing. They had

a performance of ‘Theatre of the Oppressed’ as a part of the Fringe Festival last year. In the spring she helps coordinate a volunteer spring clean-up day with Hobart William Smith college students.

“She also acts as a volunteer driver for farmworkers and kids. The farms are so spread out and farmworkers have a real need for transportation.”

That’s a lot.

“I am motivated to do this volunteer work because I can see that my efforts make a difference to others,” Ares said. “And I remain energized by the people around me who share our values and celebrate our successes, which could only have been achieved through group effort.”

Rev. Witt added: “I think Beth just oozes hopefulness. Deep down, she’s one of the most hopeful people you’ll run into. We have this beautiful old Episcopal Church we’re trying to convert and Beth is devoting all these hours to this process because we don’t have the resources. There she was this morning working with 30 Hobart and William Smith College students on the building. Beth is a very hopeful person.”

second act

TRACY ECKSTRAND

From school psychologist to singersongwriter with her own band

By John Addyman

We all know the moment. You’re listening to a song, know a little about the situation that’s being sung about and it hits you…a lyric, a line, a word — something that brings you to pause, to remember, to smile or nod your head.

Tracy Eckstrand is trying to make a career for herself; a second career.

She has her doctorate in psychology and spent 30 years in Greece schools as a school psychologist. You can call her Dr. Eckstrand. Many have.

But what’s important to her right now is to be called Tracy . To be recognized for what she is becoming…a songwriter with a knack for laying a memory flat on the table to be looked at, manipulated, considered and perhaps cherished — and almost never forgotten.

She was married for 22 years to Dave Eckstrand. The two sang in a small folk Americana band called Serendipity with Tim Thomas. Tracy Eckstrand had spent seven years before retirement learning how to play jazz guitar because her instructor told her if she could play jazz guitar, she could play anything because there were so many chords.

“We started singing in coffee houses and one of the biggest was the Greenhouse Café. That’s how I got started in a band,” she explained.

Those chords were also the DNA for her new art — in her mind they were collections of words searching for a melody. Her songs, as they developed, wove a story of her life. Her relationship with a dying mother. And the break-off of her marriage.

“You can’t live with someone,” she

wrote in a song about the end of her marriage, “no matter how much you love them, if you’re not breathing on your own. Now I inhale. Now I exhale. ‘Cause I’m not, I’m not borrowing oxygen.”

How many people have walked away from a marriage or nonfunctional relationship and taken a deep breath? She was there. Her song is titled, “Borrowing Oxygen” and it's smack in the middle of her six-song CD, “Who is Gonna Rescue You.”

Eckstrand, 62, is now a singer with her own band, Tracy and the Accidental Cats.

Like any newbie to a career in show business, she’s struggling for recognition as she develops a secondlife career. Learning to play the guitar was a challenge. Developing a stage presence and a small repertoire of her own music was a challenge. Putting a band together was a challenge. Getting music recorded in a fashion that will get notice and airplay is a challenge. Creating a presence for herself and her music — promoting herself — is a challenge.

But if she’s got anything, it’s gumption: organized, plan-ahead, make-everything-as-perfect-aspossible grit.

Tracy and the Accidental Cats are, from left, Ray Bellizia (solo guitar, vocals), Levon Jones (drums), Tracy Eckstrand (guitar, lead vocals), and Eric Davidson (bass). The venue is the Spirit Room on State Street in Rochester.

“I’m a planner,” she said. “I’ve always been. I was the firstborn in a family of four children, with a developmentally disabled sister. I was taking care of my siblings when my father died at age 50.”

She graduated from Churchville Chili High School and went to work as a travel agent “in those days before computers and people booking their own travel. But I always had aspirations to do other things,” she said.

She studied psychology at Brockport State.

“A lot of people said I did that because my sister had developmental disabilities,’ Eckstrand said. “But I think I was just curious about how the mind works and I wanted to understand myself and others better.

“My mom said that I would always be counseling other kids in high school on the back porch. She told me, ‘Father and I knew that you’d either be a writer or something in a helping profession.’ I was very much an entrepreneur when I was young and wrote my own little newspaper, “The Children’s Gazette.” I made crossword puzzles and jokes and took my little wagon around the neighborhood and sold my paper. I charged 10 cents.”

In high school, she had won an essay contest on “Why I Love New York State” that her English teacher had entered without her knowing.

“I got all these congratulations from senators and legislators,” she said.

“There were some signs that I loved to write,” she added. “I also really love people. I’m extroverted. I come from a family of talkers.”

After four years at Brockport, she wanted to become a clinical psychologist, but the big schools she applied to were looking elsewhere for grad students. She ended up at Plattsburgh State and got her master’s degree in school-clinical psychology and took a job in the Greece middle school and she stayed in the district for 30 years.

Four years before potential retirement, she started to line up the rest of her life.

“That was the marking point of a lot of things,” she said. “I asked myself, ‘What’s holding me back? If I live to be 90, what am I going to do with all those years? Who knows how healthy I’ll be?’ That was the thing that made

me move forward.”

She decided the marriage with Dave had changed and they were of different minds after 22 years. They divorced.

“Now I have nothing holding me back,” she said, sitting in a chair in her Rochester apartment, surrounded by recording equipment and holding a large and very demanding cat.

“That’s when I met Rev,” she said. Reverend Kingish, the pseudonym for Steven O’Brien, is a musician. Eckstrand’s abilities with a guitar

were becoming better-known and Rev.’s band, Bootleg Hooch, needed a rhythm guitarist. Levon Jones, the band’s drummer, knew Tracy and recommended her.

“I know she can play” he told Rev. They passed each other in the halls once a week for years at the school where she learned the guitar.

“They thought it would be a good idea to have a girl in the band, too,” Eckstrand confessed.

She joined up and her education started anew.

Tracy Eckstrand at her Rochester apartment, holding a large and very demanding cat.

“I learned a lot about being in a band, about playing with other players, about being on stage and about not freaking out,” she said, sounding like a veteran.

Bootleg Hooch isn’t as active as it was and now Eckstrand has assembled her own band and is building enough of a repertoire to take it to the next level.

Making the journey with her now are solo guitarist and backup vocalist Ray Bellizia, Levon Jones on drums and Eric Davidson on bass guitar.

But making music and having people actually listen to it are two widely different things.

“I have 8,000 listeners a month on Spotify [the digital music-streaming service],” she said. “It’s all about promotion. I’m learning more about the business side of the music than I thought I ever would.”

She writes her music, then records it. Her producer, the musician and engineer who puts her songs in digital form, is Jordan Ruiz, in Los Angeles.

“I’ll play my guitar and record my vocals and send them to him. He does the arranging. He listens and says, ‘I think this song could use a harmonica,’ or ‘This song could use this kind of acoustic guitar beat.’ He doesn’t change my melodies or my lyrics, although sometimes we’ll sharpen them a little, just cut a few words to make it fit the beat of the song. He tells me, ‘This is what I hear.’ He makes me sound good and he’s awesome,” she said.

With the music in hand, the next

step is to get it on Spotify to generate some buzz, but the promotion — which Eckstrand is doing herself — is just beginning.

“I’m learning,” she said, pulling out two copies of her CDs. “It’s part of the game in the music business. If you’re an indie artist, they release 100,000 songs a day on Spotify on average. You’re a freaking drop in the bucket if you release a song and let it just sit there.

“Self-promotion is big in the indie world. People don’t recognize you if you don’t self-promote, you’ll maybe get a listener or two from your family. You have to invest some money and a lot of time and energy into it. That taps into my Type A personality: I’m going to do it and there’s the next step.”

About 70% of her time is now spent in promoting. On a lovely Saturday afternoon she was sending out PR materials — a picture, some details about her writing and one song.

She pays a company to connect her to playlisters, bloggers and deejays.

“You submit your song and they come back to you and tell you if it’s right for them or not. You have to target it. For instance, this guy might be playing electric dance music and my songs won’t fit. If a guy plays Americana-folk, my song might possibly fit there. I get rejections and I get acceptances,” she explained.

The result is that her songs pop up in lots of places and that brings people to her on Spotify, where she has 4,000 followers and twice that many monthly listeners. Because she’s

still building a song repertoire, her new songs get to Spotify first, so what listeners get is fresh-fresh.

She has started to submit her songs to college radio stations.

“There are so many ways to promote,” she said. “But I only have so much time.”

The Accidental Cats is working with Eckstrand to build the kind of music bank that will meet the 25-song minimum most venues demand for them to get and schedule paying gigs.

Jacob Rakovan, who owns the Spirit Room on State Street in Rochester, has been a supporter of Eckstrand and the Accidental Cats, hosting the release party for her CD.

It’s not a big place and the stage is well back in the room so if a performer jumps off the stage, they’re in your lap.

But the ambiance is neighborhoodfriendly.

“What I like about the Spirit Room is that it’s inclusive,” Eckstrand said, shaking her head. “It’s for everybody. Anybody, everybody can go there — younger people, older people. Because it’s near the Holiday Inn downtown, sometimes the Holiday Inn will recommend the Spirit Room. One night there were all these physicists who were in town. Another night there were all these deaf people. I walked in and they were all signing at me. You just never know what you’re going to find in the Spirit Room.”

Eckstrand is now breathlessly charging into her future.

“I don’t know if I’ve hit my groove yet,” she said with her legs and feet under her in her chair. “I think it’s early in my late career, my second career. I really don’t know where my music’s going. I do see a vein throughout my music — hope. That’s part of being a psychologist but also being part of who I am. I’m a first-born child who did a lot of caretaking in my family and I really love people. I want people to be happy and I want myself to be happy. I have a lot of friends and I think that’s built on the fact that I do a lot of listening. I’m empathetic; I think that comes out in my music. I don’t like to end a song on an unhappy note. I never liked movies that ended that way… give us some hope. I think the world needs a lot of hope.”

Editor’s note: To learn more about Tracy Eckstrand and where she’s going in life, visit tracyeckstrand.com.

Tracy Eckstrand leads her band, The Accidental Cats, at a gig at the Spirit Room in Rochester. At left is drummer Levon Jones and to the right is bassist Eric Davidson.

Q.: What is the estimated average Social

A.: The estimated average monthly Social Security benefit for a retired worker in 2024 is $1,907.00. The average monthly Social Security benefit for a worker with a disability in 2024 is $1,537.00.

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A.: A spouse receives one-half of the retired worker's full benefit unless the spouse begins collecting benefits before full retirement age. If the spouse begins collecting benefits before full retirement age, the amount of the spouse's benefit is reduced by a percentage based on the number of months before he or she reaches full retirement age. You can learn more by reading our online publication, Retirement Benefits, at www.ssa.gov/pubs.

Q.: I haven’t received my Social Security Statement in the mail the last few years. Will I ever get one again?

A.: We currently mail Social Security Statements (Statement) to workers age 60 and over who aren’t receiving Social Security benefits and do not yet have a personal my Social Security account. We mail the statements three months prior to your birthday. Anyone can access their statement online if they have a personal my Social Security account. We encourage you to create your own account at www. ssa.gov/myaccount and check your statement at your convenience.

Elderly Brothers: Spreading Joy One Song at a Time

Musical duo brings old-school rock and country to area seniors, veterans

By Melody Burri

Harmony can be a powerful force. When two voices join together and instantly blend like butter, it often turns two strangers into musical best friends.

That’s how Gabe Cinquegrana and Charlie Lane became Canandaigua’s own Elderly Brothers — named tongue-in-cheek for their Everly Brothers-style vocal blend.

A tenor from Lodi, New Jersey, Lane is the elder of the Elderly Brothers and a relatively recent transplant to the Finger Lakes.

A man of many talents, Cinquegrana is all in when it comes

New Jersey where he was the group’s president.

While Lane’s tenor voice has always been “his ticket to ride,” these days he’s also taking private lessons to up his guitar game. Taylor and Martin are his go-to axes.

to investing those talents and himself for the betterment of those around him.

Together they make beautiful old-school rock and country music — always to the delight of fans in senior living communities, restaurants and other venues throughout the region.

Music in their blood

Lane’s been singing since he was 7 years old and later performed with various 1950s groups, in Germany, at USO and army bases in New Jersey and at local clubs and schools. He also sang with The Harmony Singers of

Cinquegrana’s love affair with music was kindled in high school and continued to grow over a span of six decades. He’s since traded in his first Montgomery Ward Airline guitar and now wields either a Gibson electric or Martin acoustic. Through it all, two things never changed: there’s been a guitar strap over his shoulder and a song in his heart.

“I always loved listening and playing,” he said. “I grew up with the Beatles and Elvis and love music from that era.”

Since the ‘60s, Gabe said he’s played rock and country music “everywhere around the Finger Lakes Region and statewide.”

“Now I play mostly for parties, nursing homes and senior communities,” he said. “I also play solo acoustic every Friday night at Ferris Hills (my home) and at Clark Meadows (enriched living).”

As the Elderly Brothers,

Gabe Cinquegran (front) and his partner Charlie Lane. They named their duo the Elderly Brothers.

Cinquegrana and Lane serve up ballads and love songs right alongside ‘50s, ‘60s and ‘70s rock and country. They cover hits from superstars like the Beatles, the Everly Brothers, the Drifters, Bee Gees, David Gates and Bread, Elvis, Dion, Ricky Nelson, Barry Manilow, John Denver, George Strait and Frank Sinatra.

They perform most often at VA Nursing Home units, M.M. Ewing Continuing Care Center, Ferris Hills Senior Living Community, 80 Parrish Street Apartments, the American Legion and Brew and Brats at Arbor Hill in Naples.

“We’ll play anywhere where people will listen,” he said.

Dream venues on Lane’s wish list: CMAC (Constellation Brands-Marvin Sands Performing Arts Center, in Hopewell), MetLife Stadium in New Jersey and Radio City Music Hall in New York City.

Cinquegrana’s content to bask in the moment.

“I am living my dream,” he said. “I’m playing when people want to hear it and entertaining any chance I get.”

It’s a lifestyle he hopes to continue indefinitely.

“The greatest reward is playing

a song for a handicapped veteran or an elderly individual who may rarely utter a word, but suddenly breaks into a smile and sings along with a tune they remember,” he said. “As long as that keeps happening, I’ll continue doing it!”

A rich retirement

Cinquegrana admits he’s not what most people would call a “wild and crazy guy.” But he says he wholeheartedly enjoys “having fun, entertaining people, helping those in need and being a positive influence in the community.”

“Retirement allows me the time to do all those things,” he said. “I am also happy to be providing a happy and healthy atmosphere for my disabled wife and providing for her needs the best I can.”

Lane said he’s looking forward to more music making with Cinquegrana and more travel with his son and his family. He’s also happy to be performing and promoting his newest CD, “Out of Focus,” now available for download on YouTube, Boomplay Music, Anghami and KKBOX.

About Gabe Cinquegrana

He has a background in business administration and worked as budget director at Sarah Coventry in Newark, director of administration and finance at FLACRA in Clifton Springs, and owned and operated his own business, Lone Wolf Computers in Canandaigua.

On the volunteer side, he served the Sons of The American Legion for nearly two decades at the local, state and national levels. He was executive committee Chair of the Canandaigua VA Voluntary Service and was an active office volunteer at the Canandaigua VA Medical Center.

He has been task force coordinator for the Canandaigua branch of the MS Society MS Walk for 12 years.

He was Canandaigua Kiwanis’ club secretary, veterans committee chair and website developer and past mentor for the Chamber of Commerce Young Entrepreneurs’ Academy. His hobbies are music and computer graphic design. Born and raised in Newark, New York, he moved to Canandaigua 17 years ago where he lives with his wife, Debbie, and cat, Miso.

Gabe Cinquegran plays at one of the local senior facilities.

Here2There.help

or bike somewhere.

Need more assistance?

Email Here2There@lifespanrochester.org

Here2There.help is a partnership between Lifespan, Livingston, Monroe and Ontario counties. Here2There.help is funded with support from RGRTA, the Genesee Transportation Council, NYSDOT, the Federal Transit Administration, United Way of Greater Rochester and Finger Lakes and the Monroe and Livingston County Offices for the Aging.

Driving force

Music offers its own creative rewards, but deeply held core values often push musicians to reach greater heights and do more impactful good.

In 2022, Cinquegrana was grateful to receive the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs National Volunteer of the Year Award. He was asked at that time what drove him to serve with a signature dedication and energy.

It was advice he received from a former employer early in his career that stuck with him through the years.

“Find a need and fill it,” he said.

It’s the key to making the most difference, to doing the most good in so many situations, he said.

“I have always carried that forward in work, in play and in all of my volunteering through the years,” he said.

It’s what propels him to lift people’s spirits through music.

Lane credits his parents and late wife for instilling in him strong family values and is grateful to have grown up in a proud community with lifelong friends. His work with the USO Holiday Tour, volunteer work and honorable service in the US Army instilled positive values that have served him well through the years.

Just do it

Both know well the joys of taking a deep dive into a longtime passion and they urge others to do the same.

“Whatever that passion is, do it for the right reasons and do it not

only to make yourself happy, but to have a positive impact on others,” said Cinquegrana. “Find that need, and fill it!”

“And don’t just do it,” said Lane. “Stick to it with dedication.”

He is a retired vice president of sales and marketing for Quebecor World printing. He’s a printing business entrepreneur who has helped with fundraisers for college scholarships in Oakland and Franklin Lakes, New Jersey, for 10 years. His hobbies include traveling, singing, live theater and reading.

Originally from Lodi, New Jersey, he now lives in Canandaigua with his partner, Cheryl.

About Charles Lane

The Elderly Brothers: Gabe Cinquegran (left) and his partner Charlie Lane.

Do You Need to Take Supplements If You Eat a Healthy Diet?

Vitamin supplements are a big business, with Americans spending roughly $45 billion out of more than $177 billion worldwide on pills, gummies and powders meant to boost health.

About 59 million Americans regularly use some type of vitamin or supplement, spending an average $510 each year.

But most folks are wasting that money, experts say.

A balanced daily diet provides all the nutrients a person typically needs to maintain their health, said physician Matthew Silvis, vice chairman of clinical operations for Penn State Health Family and Community Medicine.

“If you have a well-balanced diet and you're able to eat nutritious foods — fruits, vegetables, etc. — you don't need a multivitamin or a supplement,” Silvis said in a news release.

“The broad answer is most people don't need them, despite the multibillion-dollar industry that the vitamin industry is,” he continued. “But there are populations of individuals who do need to consider a multivitamin or a supplement. And that is individualized.”

Examples of people who do need specific supplements include:

• Pregnant women who need folic acid to prevent birth defects.

• Seniors with osteoporosis who can benefit from calcium and vitamin D supplements.

• Vegans or people with Celiac disease who need a multivitamin to supplement the nutrients they aren't absorbing from their diet.

High-intensity athletes who regularly participate in draining workouts and fierce competition also might be justified in turning to some supplements, said Silvis, who also serves as medical director of primary care sports medicine for Penn State Health.

Discover Our Historic Waterways

downtown Rochester's newest tour boat! Experience unique views of the city and the Genesee’s natural beauty and wildlife. Riverie offers public and themed cruises, private charters, and educational excursions

Navigate the historic Erie Canal Travel aboard

on a replica packet boat and travel through a century-old canal lock Enjoy the beautiful scenery of the Erie Canal and learn about its significance in our nation’s development Public and private charters are available

The Sam Patch and Riverie are operated by Corn Hill Waterfront and Navigation Foundation, a nonprofit organization dedicated to connecting the community and visitors to Rochester’s historic waterways through educational programs and guided boat experiences

retirement

READY TO RETIRE?

Part of retirement is to plan on how to spend money saved over the years, an expert says

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

Are you ready to retire? Sure, you may have 401ks, IRAs and other investments lined up for your retirement nest egg, but that’s not all you need, according to area financial advisers.

You need to have a reason to retire. Facing personal health challenges, caring for elderly parents or supporting a spouse who is launching a business or other sizeable endeavor call all contribute to the need to scale back and retire.

“If people can’t handle the work life balance and struggle with day-today emotional or wellbeing reasons, then definitely, they should think about slowing down and retiring,” said Diana Apostolova, investment

consultant with Rochester Investments in Rochester.

People in poor health may want to retire so they can better care for themselves and also enjoy the remaining years they have left.

Apostolova added that it may be time to retire if the “good life” sounds very tempting.

“If they want to enjoy life doing things they like, rather than getting up in the morning to go to a job, then yes, they have the readiness signs to retire,” she said.

She encourages retirees-to-be to set goals based upon what they want to do, like travel, spend time with family or volunteer. Doing so can help people motivated to finish their

careers strongly.

“Hopefully people can enjoy retirement and not stress over other things,” she added. “Life is short so making it fun and enjoyable is important.”

You also need to know what to do.

Planning what to do is as important as how to fund it. Norton Suda, certified financial planner, wealth adviser and assistant vice president at Canandaigua National Bank & Trust in Pittsford, frames it as “What will you be doing to spend eight hours a day doing? That’s 40 hours a week. What will you do to fill that time?”

For example, many of his clients find fulfillment in volunteering for causes which they feel passionate about — a much better way to pass their days than merely watching TV or aimlessly puttering around the house.

“It doesn’t have to be a big challenge, but things you’re already passionate about if you had more time,” Suda said. “Start engaging in it even before retirement.”

Many charities need volunteers to support their mission.

You also need to get ready to spend instead of save. Alex Neri, certified financial planner and partner at SixPoint Financial Partners in Pittsford, works predominantly with people who 55 to 60 and preparing to retire.

Neri said that most of the time, people plan adequately saving retirement finances, but not on how to spend it.

“There’s a psychological hurdle ahead,” he said. “’I’ve always been trained to put money away and for 40 years; I’ve been all about saving,’ they say. It’s mentally about not feeling guilty about taking money out and not saving.”

Instead of saving, it’s time to spend and it’s tough feeling free to do so. Neri said that some retirees drive a 15-year-old vehicle and eschew paying for cable television to save money and the thought of splurging on a trip, home upgrades or even dining out seems difficult.

“We’ve got a lot of people who got into a bigger corporation 40 years ago,” Neri said. “They might live very comfortably on that. Their expenses are lower than what they thought, and they might have $100,000 in retirement income and need $50,000 and have $1 million in a 401k somewhere.”

Planning a budget can help retirees know they can afford to spend on a few nicer things and experiences so they don’t feel guilty for enjoying their retirement life.

“It’s OK to treat yourself,” Neri said.

PLANNING FOR LONG-TERM CARE

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

About 70% of people aged 65 today will need some type of long-term care in the future, according to the Administration on Aging, part of the US Department of Health & Human Services.

A Place For Mom, a senior care referral company headquartered in Seattle, states on its website that the average length of residency in a longterm care facility is 3.2 years and more than 20% of residents will need more than five years of care.

Currently, Medicaid covers only 54% of the nation’s longterm care costs. The rest requires private resources or long-term care benefits.

Most insurance companies have phased out their long-term care policies. They’re costly to pay out and many policyholders will use the benefits. But you do have options for funding longterm care.

“There are plans where they put in a lump sum of money that is in a bigger bucket,” said Norton Suda, certified financial planner and assistant vice president at Canandaigua National Bank & Trust in Pittsford. “If you don’t end up using it for long-term care needs, it provides a benefit to give to a beneficiary. You don’t have a [financial] vehicle you put money into that you end up losing.”

In addition to saving for future healthcare needs, Suda also recommends that those currently working sign up for a health savings account (HAS). These accounts will pay both for healthcare needs now “and you can carry it into and through retirement for long-term care needs,” Suda said.

Because so few insurers provide a long-term care policy

anymore, Alex Neri, certified financial planner and partner at SixPoint Financial Partners in Pittsford, said that planning for financial needs, along with a plan to meet those needs, can form a good strategy for longterm care.

“Some life insurance policies allow a long-term care rider,” Neri said.

Although somewhat complicated, the plans allow policyholders to tap into the death benefit while still living to cover long-term care needs. But be ready to dig deeply to cover a plan like this.

“They’re not cheap, but they are available in the marketplace right now,” Neri said. “The other strategy would be to self-insure. If you have enough investible assets saved up, you can afford to care for yourself at that stage of life. You can use trusts to protect your assets. An attorney can help you set up the trust for something like a cottage or vacation home to pass down to heirs.”

Arranging for family members to provide care initially at least, can also help. For example, living with an adult grandchild may be all you need for a number of years until your needs increase and you need medical assistance. Discussing the terms of the care in advance can help make decisions that your family feels good about.

Medicaid subscribers may receive covered care from a relative or friend who receives pay for providing the care.

When considering longterm care needs, it is best to discuss funding them with a financial adviser who knows your situation.

Alex Neri is a certified financial planner and partner at SixPoint Financial Partners in Pittsford.

savings

Consider Getting a 529 Plan

The New York 529 College Savings Program can help your grandkids — and you

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

If you have young grandchildren, opening a 529 Plan in their names may represent one of the best ways you can help them advance in life — but it can also help you.

The New York 529 College Savings Program (www.nysaves.org) is a stateoperated investment plan that allows grandparents — as well as parents, employers and friends — to set aside savings in an investment account earmarked for higher education for designated minors.

Any US citizens or resident aliens may open an account and receive tax benefits.

The beneficiaries must also be

US citizens or resident aliens with a Social Security number or individual taxpayer identification number.

The earnings grow federally tax-deferred and when it’s time to withdraw the funds for attending any US or foreign college, that’s tax-free as well.

The beneficiaries may use the funds for qualified higher education expenses such as tuition, fees, books, supplies and equipment required for enrollment or attendance. This could include a computer, software, internet access, room and board and some expenses for students who have special needs.

Parkwood Heights Senior Living Campus

For students attending a K-12 elementary or secondary public, private or religious school, up to $10,000 of the funds may be applied for tuition. The 529 Plan also applies to fees, books and equipment related to apprenticeship programs that are certified by the Secretary of Labor. The same amount applies to principal and interest payments on federally qualified education loans of the beneficiary or a sibling up to $10,000 for life.

As of Jan. 1, unused funds may be rolled over to a beneficiary’s Roth IRA account if they’ve been unused for 15 years. Previously, account holders

would incur taxes and 10% federal tax penalty.

Note that outside of New York, some states may recapture tax deductions or credits for K-12 tuition, Roth IRA rollovers or loan repayments.

“One thing we get asked about is potential penalties,” said Norton Suda, certified financial planner, wealth adviser and assistant vice president at Canandaigua National Bank & Trust. “They offer a ton of options for the money that’s been saved. You can use it for tuition, books, trade schools. If your student gets a scholarship or joins the military and they pay for their education, a lot of times you can take out an amount equal to the scholarship and not pay a penalty. You will have to pay taxes on it, though.”

If the beneficiaries of 529 Plans decide to enter the workforce or start a business, the funds may be withdrawn with a 10% tax penalty from the IRS and pay state penalties. Or the funds may be transferred to other eligible family members as the beneficiaries without a penalty. Since the plans bear no time maximum, donors can also leave the money in the fund in case the beneficiaries change their minds.

Alex Neri, certified financial planner and partner at SixPoint Financial Partners in Pittsford, likes the tax benefits to the person who sets up the fund.

“You get a New York state tax deduction, but not a federal deduction,” he said. “Still, it’s an obvious benefit, depending on your tax bracket.”

Neri also likes the idea that loved ones and friends can contribute to the fund online for birthdays or holiday gifts instead of buying soon-forgotten toys.

The 529 Plan also helps the beneficiary receive more money, but it’s best to start early.

“It allows you a better rate of return than in a savings account in a bank,” Neri said. “If the grandkids are young, you have more years to grow the money.”

The state of New York does not charge fees to open a 529 Plan and requires no minimum amount to start. Contributors to the plan pay $1.20 in fees annually for every $1,000 invested. The maximum balance is $520,000. Any earnings accrued over that amount will be returned.

Saturday, July 13th 10:00 am to 6:00 pm Sunday, July 14th 10:00

Don’t Miss Out!

PARIS REVEALED: GWENN’S FAVORITES IN THE CITY OF LIGHT

By Gwenn Voelckers

Paris stole my heart.

My love affair with Paris began 20 years ago, when I made my first solo trip to the City of Light to celebrate my 50th birthday.

I spent 10 enchanting and unforgettable days there.

Helplessly smitten, I have returned to Paris every year since (except during COVID-19) to enjoy and embrace its extraordinary visual, cultural and culinary delights.

But why go back again and again? you might ask.

Because Paris — its history, art, architecture, lifestyle and joie de vivre, which translates literally to “joy of living” — is endlessly fascinating and inspiring. I never tire of it.

You’ve probably heard the expression “Americans live to work; the French work to live.” I side with the French! When I’m in Paris, I feel as if I’m living life to the fullest and I return home with renewed resolve to seize the day and appreciate every moment.

On my first visit, I spent my days exploring the city on foot, window shopping, immersing myself in the city’s café and culinary culture and visiting several of the famous landmarks, galleries and gardens.

While I highly recommend visiting the popular attractions — the Eiffel Tower, Louvre, Notre-Dame Cathedral (scheduled to reopen this December), Arc de Triomphe and Musee d’Orsay, to name a few — I encourage you to pace yourself. Choose quality experiences over quantity.

Remember that some of the best moments in travel come from taking time to slow down and savor the

moment. And remember to follow your heart. I’m always chasing the authentic Parisian experiences, so that influences my choices and itinerary. You won’t find me in a medieval museum or the Catacombs.

What I love doing most in Paris is exploring its neighborhoods called “arrondissements” or districts. There are 20 in all and each has its own unique character and abundance of marvelous things to see and do.

My favorites

• The back streets of Montmartre: While the domed Sacre Coeur Basilica is a sight to behold in this popular hilltop neighborhood, it’s the winding, cobbled streets behind the basilica that captivate me. This storied former artists’ village was home to Van Gogh, Picasso and Renoir among others. Full of narrow alleys, studios and landmarks, this close-knit community is steeped in Montmartre’s bohemian subculture.

I return to Montmartre often to take walking tours and I discover something new every time. My go-to walking tour company is DiscoverWalks. The tours are free and led by knowledgeable (and entertaining) local guides, who welcome tips at the end of the walk. They provide tours in almost every Paris neighborhood. Check ‘em out!

• Cruising the Seine: There’s nothing like it, especially on an evening cruise when your tour boat is approaching the Eiffel Tower. Just as night falls, the tower sparkles to life!

Thousands of glittering lights flash across the landmark for a few minutes, creating a mesmerizing, twinkling

display that’s impossible not to love. It’s a must-see and in my opinion, best seen when you are on the water.

I prefer the smaller, no-frills guided boat tours over the large, pricey dinner cruises and recommend the affordable Vedettes du Pont Neuf tour company. It features live guides narrating the cruise to the Eiffel Tower and back, pointing out the shoreline landmarks all along the way.

• Hidden and not-so-hidden gardens: I won’t mince words, Paris can be intense (in a good way, of course!), but it can also be exhausting. When I need a break from the hustle and bustle, Paris’ gardens come to the rescue and offer welcome respite.

Hardly off the beaten path, my alltime favorite is Luxembourg Gardens. It’s always my first stop after arriving midday in Paris. I need to stretch my legs after a long flight and love to stroll through the garden and admire its beautifully manicured flower beds, elegant statues and tree-lined walkways.

I take a seat on one of the iconic benches overlooking the large pond and watch the kids sail their little wooden boats. I let out a long breath. Here at last. My second home.

On a smaller scale, I have two other favorite gardens: First, the Sculpture Garden at the Rodin Museum. It’s an oasis, a perfect place to enjoy a moment of peaceful contemplation among Rodin’s masterful works, including “The Thinker.”

And the other is the Place de Vosges in the Marais neighborhood. It is the oldest planned square in Paris and beloved by both tourists and locals. Meticulous gardens and

and author Gwenn Voelckers

Columnist

of Mendon visits the Jardin des Plantes in Paris.

gorgeous 17th century “townhouses for the elite” surround the square where people gather to picnic, shop and enjoy fine dining and buskers under the arched arcades.

• Biking in Paris and beyond: Biking can be such a fun and efficient way to see Paris. On my most recent trip, I found a new bike-touring company and gave it a try. Called Bike About Tours, they specialize in carefully planned routes through Paris’ charming back streets and local neighborhoods. I signed up for the “Hidden Paris” tour and enjoyed every single moment.

Did you know there is an uncovered Roman amphitheater in the heart of Paris? I didn’t. It’s now a public park, perfect for picnicking and bocce ball. I discovered this and so much more on the tour. Grab a helmet and be surprised!

If you love impressionist art, you’ll love the Fat Tire Bike Tours’ daylong adventure to Giverny (45 minutes outside Paris), where Claude Monet lived and painted his lovely "Water Lilies." I’ve made this delightful bike trip three times and I will make it again.

A private bus takes you part way to Giverny through the beautiful French countryside where you’ll pick up the bikes, grab a picnic lunch and then take a comfortable ride to the estate. Words can’t describe how wonderful it is.

• Food shopping Parisian style: If you want to mingle with the locals and take a glimpse of everyday life in Paris, I recommend setting aside time on a Sunday morning to visit one or two of my favorite food markets. These pedestrian markets are unique, because they are designated artisan

markets, protected by law to maintain their authenticity.

Each one specializes in offering high-quality, locally sourced goods. And they are frequented by locals, which enriches the entire experience. The markets are social hubs where neighbors gather to chat, exchange recipes, grab a cup of coffee and sample the best of what Paris has to offer.

My favorites, in no particular order, are: Rue Mouffetard, in the 5th arrondissement, a quaint market with a medieval vibe and many multicultural cafes and restaurants; Ru Cler, in the 7th arroundissement, a favorite among food lovers and connoisseurs with its colorful and tempting displays; and Rue des Martyrs, in the 9th arrondissement, one of the oldest and most historic market streets in Paris, revered for its wine, cheese and

Rose Garden at the Jardin des Plantes in Paris.

Commonly known as the Love Lock Bridge, the Pont des Arts is a pedestrian bridge that connects the Louvre Museum to the Institut de France over the Seine.

chocolate shops.

Bon appetit!

For me, Paris holds intrigue, excitement and the promise of profound, life-changing moments. If my favorites above have inspired you to add Paris to your bucket list, I hope the City of Light captures your heart as much as it has captured mine.

When I took my very first stroll, on my very first visit, I could easily have exclaimed, “You had me at bonjour!”

Gwenn Voelckers has mastered the art of living and traveling alone. She is the author of an essay collection titled “Alone and Content” and writes “Live Alone & Thrive,” a monthly column for In Good Health newspaper. She welcomes your comments and questions at gvoelckers@rochester. rr.com

Other Sights & Delights

I can’t leave Paris without . . .

• Riding the carousel in the Jardin des Tuileries

• Searching for small, informal family-run bistros that offer traditional French cuisine and regional wine

• At sunset, beholding the stunning stained-glass windows at Sainte Chapelle

• Poking around Le Marais’ charming narrow streets, trendy boutiques and museums

• Hunting for keepsakes in the small and sweet antique market at Porte de Vanves

• Relaxing in the exquisite tea garden within the La Grande Mosquée de Paris

• Scouring side streets and alleys for graffiti by Banksy, the elusive street artist

• Sampling an “inventive”

macaron from Maison Mulot pastry shop, my sentimental favorite

• Enjoying a leisurely walk along Canal Saint-Martin, a haven of serenity

• Buying yet another pair of shoes in the grand and dazzling Galeries Lafayette on a rainy day

• On Sundays, browsing the exotic plant and bird markets on the Ile de La Cite

• Enjoying an espresso and great people-watching at the legendary Café de Flore.

• Window shopping at the posh Le Bon Marche on the Left Bank

• Wandering aimlessly to discover hidden gems, tuckedaway courtyards, cozy cafes, covered passages and so many other unexpected delights!

Monet's House Garden in Paris.

10 TIPS FOR SOLO TRAVELERS

By Gwenn Voelcker

For me, solo travel is a journey of self-discovery and empowerment, much like the adventures depicted in “Eat, Pray, Love.” As a solo traveler, you have the freedom to explore at your own pace and on your own terms. Embrace the opportunity! Below are 10 tips to make your solo experience safe, enjoyable, and memorable:

1

Adopt the right attitude: It starts here. You can do this, even if a spouse or partner took care of all the travel plans in the past. Solo travel can evoke powerful insights about yourself and your life. Many discover that they are more capable, wiser and selfreliant than they thought.

2

Start small and close to home: Ease into solo travel by taking short overnight or weekend trips to nearby destinations to build your confidence.

3

Follow your heart when choosing a destination: Let love be your guide. Do you love the beach? Cities? Nature? Food? Select a destination that aligns with your interests and desires. Ask yourself: What do I want to get out of my trip? Relaxation, adventure, cultural immersion, personal growth?

4

Plan, plan, and plan (and budget!): I started planning for my Paris trip two years prior to take-off. I opened a Paris savings account into which I transferred $25 a week. Then, the research began — the fun part! I scoured the internet, purchased travel guides, talked with friends and delved into everything Parisian. Voila! My itinerary took shape and I booked my flight.

5

Carefully select accommodations: While rentals can offer a more local experience, I recommend staying in hotels, preferably with an onsite café or courtyard (where you can connect with other travelers). Hotels provide added security, convenience and helpful services for solo travelers. I always let the front-desk staff know that I’m traveling alone and welcome their recommendations for dining, excursions and transportation.

6

Keep safety a priority. Just as I do at home, I steer clear of unsafe areas, trust my instincts, and walk with confidence. In Paris, I dress to blend in and avoid looking like a tourist. I know I’m doing something right when other travelers mistake me for a local and ask for directions. There are safety tips galore on the web. Check ‘em out!

7

Stay connected: Sharing your experiences with friends and family can enhance your solo adventure. It allows you to capture special moments and share your excitement. It also adds a layer of safety and peace of mind when others know of your whereabouts.

8

Pack light and smart: I learned this lesson early on. Waiting at a baggage carousel or hauling a heavy bag through crowded streets was not how I wanted to spend my time in Paris. I bring a very small carry-on roller bag and a day tote for when I’m out and about. Rick Steves is my trusted travel guru. Find his packing tips on Ricksteves.com

Diana Apostolova

9

Explore and immerse yourself: Embrace the freedom of solo travel by trying new things. Immerse yourself in the local culture, try new foods and engage with locals. Join guided tours and activities to meet likeminded travelers.

“rain or shine” bike tour I booked in Paris. As soon as the group assembled, the skies opened up. Disposable rain ponchos were quickly distributed and off we went in the pouring rain. It’s one of my fondest and wettest memories.

May 9

Looking Back on 30 Years at WXXI

pace yourself. Trying to see and do too much can be exhausting and unfulfilling. A more relaxed itinerary — focused on what matters most to you — enables you to appreciate your chosen activities and sites more deeply. for spontaneity and personal reflection on your solo journey. This way, you’ll be able to savor each moment, create meaningful memories and return home feeling refreshed and inspired.

Reflection on a Journey

Common things, transformed: My process of creating pieces of art

By Teresa Schreiber Werth

As my husband, Don, and I were opening boxes and hanging pieces of my art, I was struck by what a long journey it had been from the first time I picked up a catalpa pod until this moment.

Having an exhibition of my work was a dream, really. I knew from Adam, my artist-son, that creating a portfolio, submitting proposals to galleries and hanging a show were demanding tasks which may or may not result in an opportunity to show your work. But I was determined to try and thrilled when not one, but three opportunities were given to me in 2024!

In the summer of 2021, I was

wandering around the woods at my friend’s little house in the town of Springwater, in the southern tier near Canadice Lake. I stooped over and picked up a long, brown, brittle thing. It appeared to be half of some sort of pod that had dried and split open, spilling its fluffy white contents on the grass. The half-pod was curvy and smooth. My friend told me is was a dried catalpa pod… and I was hooked!

Just holding it in my hand was almost spiritual.

Soon I was collecting catalpa pods of varying sizes and shapes. The pods were varying lengths and shades of brown, some very narrow and straight, some wider and quite curvy. They

suggested motion to me. Yes, they were dry and dead but I could easily imagine putting them together in ways that would imply wind or water or movement of some kind. And so, I started collecting them by the fistful, then bags full.

Over the years, I had collections of other items like guinea hen feathers, pine cones, dried lotus pods from Bergen Water Gardens and dried mesquite pods friends had collected and sent from Utah. I had a bag of acorns from Florida live oak trees and giant sugar pine cones from our son’s house in California. I was sure all of these could be useful some day and it appeared that day had come.

This was one of those times when it was good to be a thrift store junkie. I began looking for picture frames that I could use to mount the pods on after my husband removed the glass and covered their surface with fabric remnants. Trays were a good option and slabs or pieces of tree bark. I looked for unusual vessels in which I

Teresa Schreiber Werth wears her Happiness Hat. White felt hat with burlap band decorated with dried catalpa pods, dried lotus pods, dried peony pods and a real bluebird wing.

could arrange these items. And there was a large rattan ball on a tripod (cat bed) at the curb down the street which was irresistible. (The word “obsessed” comes to mind.)

Our Community Gifting with Gratitude group was often a wonderful place to find frames and containers I could use. They were mine for the asking. Some of those same people even collected their dried catalpa pods and gave them to me. I scoured thrift stores and Facebook Marketplace to find unusual backgrounds, mirrors, canvases and shadow boxes.

And so, it began. Many, many tubes of E-6000 glue later, I have created more than 50 pieces of art. The majority of these pieces are in frames on fabric. Some are in vessels from small to large. I have two pieces made with beautiful tree burls and one made on what once held a huge staghorn fern. One of my first and favorite pieces is made using a discarded knife holder. The trick seems to be the ability to see something not for what it actually is but to see what it might become.

Since I picked up those first catalpa pods in 2021, my creative materials have expanded to include dried peony and mesquite pods, tree bark, feathers, broken glass and sea shells, pine cones from tiny quarter-inch ones to 14-inch sugar pine cones from California and everything in between. I’ve learned how to clean pine cones, seal some items and paint others. I have collected tree branches and been given bundles of bamboo and curly willow. At a house about two miles from mine, I discovered a treasure trove of fern fronds in the front yard and the owner was happy to share. I found that vintage jewelry is useful, even if it is broken. Eucalyptus, ting ting, dried grasses and maple “helicopters” have found their way into pieces.

Remember the cat bed? It was removed from its plastic tripod and attached to a beautiful, large hardwood stump with a crack that I filled with tiny live oak acorns I had collected in Florida several years ago and topped with an explosion of catalpa pods. My husband put a light inside.

Having a retired, engineer husband around means all of my technical problems get solved. And I feel able to explore new materials and take creative risks because he is right there to offer advice and figure out solutions.

My reward for all of this hard work is having a growing portfolio of work, much of which was on display at the 1570 Gallery at Valley Manor, 1570 East Ave. in Rochester, which concluded March 29. The show was entitled “Common Things Transformed” because that’s exactly what people saw.

As an avid supporter of Multiuse Community Cultural Center at 142 Atlantic Ave. in Rochester, I have been invited to display some of my newest work there June 30 to Sept. 1.

As an artist member of VIEW Arts Center in Old Forge, I will have an exhibit of my work there July 27 to Sept. 22.

Some of my work can be seen at www.teresawerth.com

Channeling Vivaldi: A violin and bow surrounded by dried catalpa, peony and lotus pods, dried fern fronds and pampas grass, feather and pine cones.

Oliver’s Basket: Vintage basket with California pine cones, dried lotus pods, dried catalpa pods and dried leaves.

ZIP THROUGH THE SUMMER

Area zipline parks offer thrills and birdseye views

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

Want a thrilling activity to do with older grandchildren? Look no further than ziplining.

Using safety harnesses and belays, zipline parks provide a safe way to skim through the treetops. Parks include things to do for younger and older children, but generally are not meant for children younger than 4.

• Bristol Mountain Aerial Adventure in Canandaigua is the best local place to go if you have a mix of ages in your group. Children 4-7 who will enjoy the Kids Adventure Park ($28 each) and

pre-teen through teen grandchildren who can join you in the main Aerial Adventure Park ($57 each). Each park is mostly high ropes obstacle courses but includes zipline elements. High ropes courses include walking and climbing on suspended logs and tippy bridges between treetop platforms, plus numerous other climbing elements to challenge your problem-solving skills and sense of balance. The safety equipment ensures you won’t fall far. The courses are ranked by difficulty so you can gradually increase the difficulty as you complete them. If all

you want to do is zipline, the Zipline Canopy Tour is for you. (It's $109 per person, and you must weigh between 80 and 250 pounds.) It features seven different rides measuring more than 5,000 feet. The admission is for an all-day pass (not per ride). The only exception is Bristol’s The Launch ($20 or $16 as an add-on to park admission), which as its name denotes launches a single rider 63 feet in the air with up to 3.8 Gs of force. It’s like being the pebble in a giant slingshot.

More info: www. bristolmountainadventures.com

Zip line at Bristol Mountain Aerial Adventure in Canandaigua.

Staying Safe

To enjoy your day at an adventure park:

His volume, or yours? Up and down it goes. If hearing the TV has become challenging, we can help. Schedules and registration for free programs are at hearinglossrochester.org

• Sky High Aerial Adventure Park in Ellicottville also offers a high ropes course with zipline elements ($62) over five acres of woods. The facility also has a Mountain Coaster Ride (add to the Aerial Park, $70), or make a day of it with the Aerial Park for three hours, plus unlimited Mountain Coaster rides ($80). As with Bristol Mountain, the courses are rated by difficulty. The Mountain Coaster requires no skill to ride. The park’s Climbing Forest is like a climbing wall but in 3-D, intended for ages 5 and older.

More info: www.holidayvalley. com

• Peek’n Peak Resort in Clymer offers a weekend adventure package including one giant zipline ride, up to three hours of the Aerial Adventure Climb, one Soaring Eagle ride, unlimited regular chairlift rides and unlimited miniature golf starting at $17 for children and $64 for those 12-plus. Weekday packages do not include the giant zipline. The Soaring Eagle ride is a 1,400-foot long seated zipline for two riders 130 feet above the ground.

More info: www.pknpk.com

• Thoroughly understand the park’s height, weight and health recommendations. A grandchild who is too small to participate in most of the activities will feel disappointed.

• Wear appropriate clothing, such as closed-toed shoes with good treads, close-fitting clothing and sturdy fabric, like denim. Tie back long hair and skip dangling jewelry.

• Bring along water bottles, snacks, bug repellent, sunglasses and sunscreen.

• Remind the grandchildren to use the bathroom before donning the harness.

• Also remind them to follow all the rules of the park, wear all the provided safety gear, stay on the course and listen to the guides.

• Follow the park’s guidelines if someone gets stuck on a zipline. Do not try to get them back to a landing or to the ground yourself.

• Since you’ll be in a forest, check for ticks afterwards.

to medical appointments that can boost health and independence.

Lifespan’s Give-a-Lift service always needs more volunteer drivers. We provide supplemental liability

Zip lining at Greek Peak Mountain Resort in Cortland.

second act

Former Hippie Flying High in Hot Air Balloons

After a career as software engineer, a carpenter and a math teacher, Auburn resident David Longeil finds joy in running a balloon business — he has piloted more than 2,000 flights so far

By Joe Sarnicola

Dave Longeill, of Auburn, has worked as a software engineer, a carpenter and a math teacher, as well as being the licensed pilot and owner of Fingerlakes Ballooning.

He grew up in Elmont, on Long Island, site of the Belmont Stakes horse race and the home of the New York Islanders hockey team. After graduating from high school, he attended SUNY Oswego.

“I was a hippie back then,” he said. “So I got an art degree.” Longeill gained more than an art degree at Oswego, because he met a young woman named Jody, who became his wife.

When he was in his early 40s, he went back to school to get a degree in computer science.

“I thought I was being practical this time. I made money as a software engineer, but I didn’t like the job,” he said.

When he was studying for his computer science degree, a couple of his professors recognized his gift for math and suggested he pursue that field.

“So, in my 50s I went to grad school at Syracuse University as a math education major,” he said.

He was surprised to discover that working as a teaching assistant while attending SU paid for his education.

“I have always loved all kinds of math, but geometry is my favorite. My math degree led to a position at Cayuga Community College, where I taught from 2008 until I retired in 2016,” he said.

Longeill combined his math skills with his woodworking expertise when he built a gazebo behind his current home.

“I had built one where we used to live in Red Creek and my wife asked me to build one here,” he said.

He put off that project until he helped a friend remodel a camp on Moon Beach in Oswego, which reminded him how much he enjoyed working with wood.

Gazebo kits can be purchased from home improvement stores, but that was not what Longeill had in mind.

After designing the gazebo, he created templates for some of the numerous parts, scale models of others and he built jigs and other custom tools to allow him to make multiple parts of exact size and he cut each of the hundreds of shingles by hand. He would plan during the winter and work once the weather permitted. He had a trench dug for the footers, but he did most of the work himself, with the occasional help of a couple carpenter friends as needed.

“The gazebo took me a long time to build because I spent a long time

planning it,” he said.

People have asked him if he built the gazebo from a kit and he likes to tell them he did, but only after he built the kit himself.

In addition to working on projects firmly connected to the ground, Longeill has a love of flying.

“My wife, Jody, and I first saw hot air balloons at the Jamesville Balloon Festival in 1981. We then decided, before we even went for a ride, that I should buy one. A year later I had a pilot’s license, and I flew my own balloon at the 1982 Jamesville Balloon Festival,” he said.

His history with balloons is now older than that of the Jamesville Balloon Festival, which started in 1980, but closed in 2019.

Although Longeill makes it sound like obtaining a balloon pilot license was a simple process, the FAA requires 10 hours of flight training for prospective pilots which must include six supervised flights, one controlled flight to 2,000 feet above takeoff point, two 60-minute flights and one solo flight, plus they must pass a written FAA practical knowledge test, and pass an oral exam given by an FAA inspector or a designated flight examiner.

And that is just for a private pilot’s license. Commercial pilot’s licenses require 35 flight hours, including one

to 3,000 feet above takeoff point, plus the passage of a more advanced oral exam.

Longeill trained under Jim Griswold, of Albany, a man who has a family history of ballooning. He was one of the co-founders of the Jamesville Balloon Festival and he has passed his passion for ballooning on to his sons, Peter and Scott. On the company website, aboveallballooning. com, Scott wrote a paragraph similar to that of Longeill’s first encounter with ballooning:

“The Griswold family has been in the ballooning business for 40 years. Since I was born, I have grown up around hot air balloons. Whether it is crewing, chasing, piloting or just spectating, I have witnessed many amazing aspects and the growth of the sport. My father and mother went for a balloon ride before I was born. When they landed, my father asked where he could buy one so he could learn how to fly.”

He mentioned “chasing.” The balloon chasers are the people on the ground who literally follow the flight of the balloon, so they can meet the pilot and passengers after landing.

In order for a pilot to be able to safely launch a balloon, the weather must be just right, so that winds are not too strong and there are no storms in the forecast. Flights typically start one or two hours before sunset, when the winds are calmer. Passengers are advised to wear comfortable clothing and shoes and be prepared to stand for the flight, which could last up to an hour and to bring a camera and be prepared to have fun.

Since his first flight more than 40 years ago, Longeill has piloted more than 2,000 flights and he has trained five of his previous passengers to become pilots able to fly their own balloons. He doesn’t build gazebos for anyone but himself, but information about booking a balloon flight with him can be found on Facebook at Fingerlakes Ballooning.

Longeill reflected on his life of flying, after recently buying a new balloon that had to pass rigorous testing before being allowed to fly and carry passengers.

“In my mind that commits me to 10 to 12 more years of flying. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of it,” he said.

addyman’s corner

By John Addyman Email: john.addyman@yahoo.com

Allergy Season is in Full Bloom

Ah, spring!

The birds are chirping, the grass is growing and the pollen is flowing.

As the trees bud and the flowers start coming up, I see little wispy seedlings drift by in the breeze.

They are all meant for me. They are not my friends.

About four years ago, I decided to go to an allergy doctor because every spring, I would get one cold after another — and my family doctor told me, “You need to get your allergies checked.”

So there I was sitting with nurse Mary Rose and she was explaining all about grass pollen and pine pollen and cat dander and dust and mites — she was very thorough.

“Do you think you might be allergic to some of those things and which ones?” she asked with her clipboard all ready to take down notes.

“Yes,” I said.

“Yes what?” she asked.

“Yes I’m allergic.”

“Allergic to which of these?”

“Yes.”

“Yes to all of them?” she asked.

“Sure feels like it,” I told her.

Mary Rose looked at me like an experienced nurse who knows a scam when she sees one.

“Come on, all of them?”

“Try me,” I challenged. And she got started with the test. She drew on my arms and put the thing with all the needled samples on it and we waited to see what the reaction would be.

It didn’t take long.

One skin pop got so big it exploded and a flying monkey launched itself out of my arm and banged into the wall.

“That doesn’t happen too often,” Mary Rose said calmly.

OK, it didn’t go down quite like that, but I had all kinds of red spots on both arms.

“You are allergic to almost everything,” she told me. “This is going to be fun.”

What followed was weekly trips to see Mary Rose or nurse Christina, who would calm me down with soothing

banter (I have a thing about needles) and give me two shots — one in each arm. I had an “animal” arm for all the creatures I was allergic to — dog, cat, guinea pig, horse, Bigfoot — and I had a “plant” arm for all the botanicals that would cause me grief — grass, trees, flowers, corn, marijuana.

On a normal Friday afternoon, right after I got the shots, my left arm would swell up and my right arm wouldn’t. I seem to be much more allergic to animals.

But I stopped having three colds each spring. In fact, I stopped having colds at all — a welcome life change.

After three years, Mary Rose and Christina and I got to be BFFs. There’s something so valuable in your life when you’re being taken care of by competent nurses.

And things were going ducky… until I got COVID-19, then I got it again and that has somehow changed me in a really unusual way.

I am not making this up.

On a Monday night I was working hard on a lecture I was going to give

my Living Environment (Biology and Ecology) students. I would be talking about flower reproduction the next day and the lecture was heavily weighted toward, guess what? Pollen.

I was busy making a drawing and describing flower parts when I sneezed. I sneeze all the time; nothing abnormal there. Then I sneezed again. Bigger. Louder.

And I sneezed again. This time it was something new in my life — a “chain sneeze.” It’s not just one A-CHOO and you’re done, it’s a chain of sneezes and my whole body shakes. It’s actually kind of pleasant, but when people see you sneeze like that, they get a little concerned.

So, I did a big chain sneeze. And when it was over, I went, “Whew! Yeehah!”

All the while I was going through this chain sneeze thing, I was sitting in front of my laptop computer that had on its screen a big yellow flower, with its pollen parts in full display.

I looked at the screen.

I sneezed.

Time for action. I was expecting my principal to walk in any second because my classroom is right down the hall from her office and I was sure she could hear my sneezing. Everyone in the school could hear my sneezing. I had to do something.

I thought, “I’m a biology teacher. I’m a scientist. I need a hypothesis and a quick experiment. And because I’ve never sneezed like this before, I need to do something really wacko.”

So I closed my laptop computer, so I couldn’t see the image of the flower anymore.

And I stopped sneezing immediately.

Figure that one out.

I kept the laptop closed and packed up to go home. All the way home, no sneezing. After dinner I opened the laptop, which no longer had the flower on display and everything was fine.

At the end of the night, my scientist gene told me it was time to check my experiment out to see if I got the same result. I opened the laptop and went back to the site and the screen with the flower on it.

Five seconds went by. Ten seconds. And then… I sneezed. First time all night. I closed the laptop and went to bed.

This can’t be happening to me.

By Melody Burri

Dan Robeson, 87

Retired Middlesex historian has deep family roots in Vine Valley

Q: Your family has deep roots in Middlesex, specifically Vine Valley.

A: My family has lived in the town of Middlesex since before the Civil War. My mom, Mary Sommers Robeson, was from Clifton Springs and my dad was from Vine Valley. My grandfather, Charles A. Robeson, bought the store in Vine Valley in 1898 and the Robeson family owned and operated it until 1984. I now live on the farm purchased by my great grandfather, F.A. Hixon, after the Civil War. I really appreciate the beauty of this area. My work with American Can Company took me away for many years, but when I retired 20 years ago, I knew where I wanted to live. I lost my loving wife nine years ago after 54 years of marriage. But I am blessed with six children — a college professor, a priest, a lawyer, a nurse, a bartender and a BOCES teacher. Best of all,

I have 11 grand kids.

Q: You've been the Middlesex Town Historian since 2010 and have facilitated many upgrades. Highlight some of your favorite moments or accomplishments.

A: I was encouraged and supported by Ruth Clark, an outstanding person and the historian who preceded me. Hopefully I was able to host a friendly and comfortable environment. We have cookies and coffee Wednesdays at 10 a.m. and all are welcome. In 2014, we learned that the Greater Hudson Heritage Network had a conservation assessment program that evaluated history groups and made recommendations on how to improve their history recording processes. That led to improvements in our policies and procedures. We also applied to the Greater Hudson Heritage Network

for grants to restore five historical hand-painted photographs of the one room school houses that later formed the Middlesex Valley School District. These were in storage for many years and over the course of nine years we were able to have them refurbished.

Q: Anything else?

After doing some research, we discovered that the Pomeroy Foundation would give historical plaques to local communities. The town eventually received five plaques for the Middlesex Methodist Church, the Middlesex train station, the Robeson store in Vine Valley, the Vine Valley Methodist Church and the Overackers Corners school. We also began entering our family history files into the Family Tree Maker software, which gave us better storage, organization and easier access to these files. I chaired the town’s Citizen Appreciation Day Committee and helped establish the Yates/Ontario Small Museum Association.

Q: What are some benefits of taking time to record and preserve local and family history?

A: Recording and preserving family history is not always easy, but there is a certain joy in being able to explain things to the next generation and grandchildren.

Q: What's one personal core value/life goal that has helped shape the person you are today?

A: “For some reason I had fear as a young person. It was mostly a fear of failure and as a result I was very competitive. I worked hard in the business world and in athletics when I volunteered as an assistant football coach for Marcus Whitman. This was not always good, but, eventually, I received faith from a higher power.

Q: What are you enjoying most about being retired?

A: “People talk about being joyful and free. I’m not sure I’m quite there, but I no longer worry — especially about the future. I plan to continue volunteering in the town’s history room. And although I no longer have significant responsibilities, I look forward to a better life. In the meantime, I have everything I want or need and I thank God.

Dan Robeson describes himself as an 87-yearold retiree who is blessed with “a loving family, reasonable health and adequate finances.”

7th Generation Medical Acupuncture

Rui Wang, MD of China, L.Ac.