55 Plus of Rochester, #56: March – April 2019

Seven Ways to Slow Down Cognitive Aging

55 PLUS Issue 56 • March / April 2019 For Active Adults in the Rochester Area

A Touch of Diversity Annette and Carmelo Ramos bring Latinx culture, community outreach to Rochester area

INSIDE Rebecca Proctor: Creative force behind Mackenzie-Childs

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55 PLUS

CONTENTS

‘

Seven Ways to Slow Down Cognitive Aging

55

55 PLUS

March / April 2019

PLUS Issue 56 • March / April 2019 For Active Adults in the Rochester Area

A Touch of Diversity Annette and Carmelo Ramos bring Latinx culture, community outreach to Rochester area

INSIDE Rebecca Proctor: Creative force behind Mackenzie-Childs

free please share

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14

Savvy Senior 6 12 RACING • At 68, Avon resident Mark Green Financial Health 8 continues to hit the racing circuit Dining Out 10 14 COLLECTIBLES visit to Palmyra store is a chance to Addyman’s Corner 46 •beAreacquainted with one’s youth Long-term Care 48

55 PLUS Q&A

4

Kevin Horey, general chairman for the 2019 KitchenAid Senior PGA Championship at Oak Hill Country Club, talks about the tournament 55 PLUS - March / April 2019

roc55.com

24 32 WRITING • Members of ‘Express Yourself in Writing’ class publishes book

35 ACTIVITIES • Osher Lifelong Learning Institute keeps brain fresh and active

20 CREATIVITY

37 BOOK

• Rebecca Proctor, the creative force behind Mackenzie-Childs

• Former Museum of Play CEO pens new book

24 FENCING

39 REUNIONS

• Live by the sword: Fencing all the rage in Rochester

• Hesitant about going to a class reunion?

26 CATARACTS

41 NAMES

• Not your grandmother’s cataract surgery

• Granny? Gramps? Pops? Grandma?

What’s your favorite?

28 COVER

44 COACHING

• Annette and Carmelo Ramos blend Latinx culture, community outreach to the table in Rochester

• Life coaches offer suggestions to stay upbeat

37

Had a Stroke.

Back on Stage.

Musician Todd Hobin KNOW THE SIGNS • CALL 911 IMMEDIATELY

Central New York music legend Todd Hobin knew nothing about stroke — but he does now. That’s why he’s raising awareness about stroke risk factors and its signs and symptoms.

F.

FACE DROOPING

A. S.

ARM WEAKNESS

SPEECH DIFFICULTY

T.

TIME TO CALL 911

Fact: Stroke is the fifth leading cause of death and a leading cause of disability in the U.S. Important to know: Stroke can happen to both men and women — at any age.

Good news: Stroke is preventable by managing medical risk factors and healthy lifestyle choices.

What to do: Time lost is brain lost. So it’s vital to know the signs of a stroke — F.A.S.T. Four words to live by: Call 911 and say, “Take me to Crouse.“ When it comes to stroke, every moment matters. As one of just 10 hospitals in New York State tohave earned Comprehensive Stroke Center status, and with the region’s newest ER and hybrid ORs, Crouse offers the most advanced technology for rapid stroke diagnosis and treatment

Read Todd’s story and learn more: crouse.org/toddhobin.

March / April 2019 - 55 PLUS

5

savvy senior

By Jim Miller

Seven Ways to Slow Down Cognitive Aging For most people, starting in their 50s and 60s, the brain’s ability to remember names, multi-task or learn something new starts declining.

While our genes (which we can’t control) play a key role in determining our cognitive aging, our general health (which we do have some control over) plays a big factor, too.

Here are some healthy lifestyle strategies — recommended by medical experts — that you can employ that can help stave off cognitive loss and maybe even build a stronger brain.

1. Manage health problems: Studies have shown that cognitive problems are related to health conditions, like diabetes, heart disease and even depression. So, if you have high blood pressure, high cholesterol or diabetes you need to treat them with lifestyle changes and medication (if necessary) and get them under control. And if you have a history of depression, you need to talk to your doctor about treatment options.

2. Exercise: Aerobic exercise increases blood flow to all parts of your body, including your brain, to keep the brain cells well nourished. So, choose an aerobic activity you enjoy like walking, cycling, dancing, swimming, etc., that elevates your heart rate and do it for at least 30 to 40 minutes three times a week.

3. Eat healthy: A heart-healthy diet, like the Mediterranean diet, will also help protect the brain. A Mediterranean diet includes relatively little red meat and emphasizes whole grains, fruits and vegetables, fish and shellfish, and nuts, olive oil and other healthy fats. Also keep processed foods and sweets to a minimum.

4. Get some sleep: Quality, restful sleep contributes to brain health too.

Typically, adults should get between seven and nine hours of sleep daily.

If you have persistent problems sleep6

55 PLUS - March / April 2019

ing, you need to identify and address the problem. Medications, late-night exercise and alcohol can interfere with sleep quality and length, as can arthritis pain, sleep apnea and restless leg syndrome.

If you need help, make an appointment with a sleep specialist who will probably recommend an overnight diagnostic sleep test.

5. Challenge your mind: Some research suggests that mind challenging activities can help improve memory, and slow age-related mental decline.

But, be aware that these activities consist of things you aren’t accustomed to doing. In other words, crossword puzzles aren’t enough to challenge your brain, if you’re already a regular puzzle doer. Instead, you need to pick up a new skill like learning to dance, play a musical instrument, study a new language or do math problems — something that’s challenging and a little outside your comfort zone.

Brain-training websites like Lumosity.com and BrainHQ.com are good mind exercising tools because they continually adapt to your skill level to keep you challenged.

Socializing and interacting with other people is another important way to stimulate the brain. So, make a point to reach out and stay connected to friends, family and neighbors. Join a club, take a class or even volunteer — anything that enhances your social life.

6. Don’t smoke or drink excessively: Smoking and excessive alcohol consumption both effect the brain in a negative way, so kick the habit if you smoke and, if you drink, do so only in moderation.

7. Reduce stress: Some stress is good for the brain, but too much can be toxic. There’s growing evidence that things like mindfulness meditation, yoga and tai chi are all good ways to help reduce stress.

55PLUS roc55.com

Editor and Publisher Wagner Dotto

Associate Editor Lou Sorendo

Writers & Contributing Writers Deborah J. Sergeant Christine Green, John Addyman Mike Costanza, Ernst Lamothe Jr. Christopher Malone Aaron Gifford, Jane Eggleston

Columnists

Jim Terwilliger, Susan Suben Jim Miller, Bruce Frassinelli

Advertising

Anne Westcott, Linda Covington

Office Assistant Kimberley Tyler

Layout and Design Dylon Clew-Thomas

Cover Photo

Chuck Wainwright 55 PLUS –A Magazine for Active Adults in the Rochester Area is published six times a year by Local News, Inc., which also publishes In Good Health–Rochester—Genesee Valley’s Healthcare Newspaper.

Mailing Address PO Box 525 Victor, NY 14564 © 2019 by 55 PLUS – A Magazine for Active Adults in the Rochester Area.

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7

financial health

By Jim Terwilliger

Important News for New York State Taxpayers

R

eminiscent of the 1970s hit tune by Fleetwood Mac, “Go Your Own Way,” New York has decided to break tradition from the past starting with the 2018 tax year.

It’s mostly good news for state taxpayers. I think we would all agree, it’s about time for us New Yorkers!

First, some background. The 2017 Tax Cuts and Jobs Act (TCJA) made some sweeping changes to the way federal income taxes are calculated.

• Favorable: Tax rates were lowered, the standard deduction almost doubled, the Alternative Minimum Tax (AMT) was eliminated for most taxpayers, the Child Tax Credit was doubled and income limits were increased significantly, and the itemized-deductions phase-out was eliminated.

• Neutral: Capital gains tax rates and charitable itemized deductions were left intact.

• Unfavorable: Personal exemptions and miscellaneous itemized

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55 PLUS - March / April 2019

deductions were eliminated, medical expense and mortgage/home-equity interest itemized deductions were moderated, and state/local tax (SALT) itemized deductions are now limited to a total $10,000.

• Half-and-Half: For divorces and separations finalized in 2019 and beyond, alimony is no longer deductible for the payer and no longer taxable to the recipient.

What will taxpayers find when filing 2018 returns this tax season?

It’s a little too early to tell, but we believe most folks will see lower federal taxes for a given level of income. We are also finding that most will take the new standard deduction rather than itemize.

Enter New York state From Day 1, Gov. Cuomo has railed against these new federal tax provisions, particularly the $10,000 cap on state and local property and income taxes. He believes the new tax law discriminates against taxpayers in hightax states. The governor proposed a couple of federal workarounds but to no avail.

Surprise! On Dec. 28, the NYS Department of Taxation and Finance issued Technical Memorandum TSB-M-18(6)I, which essentially decouples New York state income taxes from the federal tax for a number of federal provisions. This now allows one to itemize deductions on the state return even if the standard deduction is used for federal, potentially reducing the state tax that otherwise would be owed without decoupling. The effective tax year is 2018 so it covers state returns currently being prepared and filed.

Itemized Deductions You now are able to claim some deductions on your New York personal income tax return that are no longer available for federal purposes.

For example, you can claim deductions for: • State and local property taxes paid with no $10,000 federal cap imposed.

• Unreimbursed employee business expenses.

• Certain miscellaneous deductions that are no longer allowed federally (including tax preparation fees, investment expenses, and safe deposit box fees).

See Form IT-196, “New York Resident, Nonresident and Part-Year Resident Itemized Deductions” and its instructions.

Other decoupling provisions, neutral or unfavorable: • New York opted not to follow changes made by the TCJA to the treatment of alimony or separate maintenance payments for agreements executed or modified after Dec. 31, 2018.

• You may not use the federal child tax credit or additional child tax credit to compute the Empire State child credit for New York.

The latter will be based on 2017 federal credit amounts and income limits.

While these changes offer some pluses and minuses, the impact on many state taxpayers, depending on individual circumstances, will be positive, particularly with the preservation of many of the prior federal itemized deductions.

529 College Savings Plan New York opted not to follow changes made by the TCJA for qualified withdrawals. Withdrawals for K-12 school tuition are not qualified withdrawals under the New York 529 college savings program. However, they now are qualified withdrawals for federal purposes, up to $10,000/ year per student.

For folks who wish to use 529 Plans to fund K-12 tuition in addition to funding out-of-pocket college expenses, we recommend the following: • Establish separate 529 Plans for a beneficiary — one earmarked for K-12, the other for college.

• College account – Take the NYS subtraction for annual contributions and invest aggressively for the long-term. All distributions used for out-of-pocket college tuition, room/ board, fees, etc. will be qualified and will escape Federal and NYS taxation.

• K-12 account – Do not take the NYS subtraction for annual contributions (since no distributions will be qualified at the state level) and invest for the short-to-intermediate term.

For distributions used for K-12 outof-pocket tuition, only distributed earnings will be taxed by NYS. Such distributions will be considered qualified and tax-free for Federal tax purposes. Ultimately, K-12 account funds not distributed can be reassigned to the student’s college account.

Given the complexity of all the above, we recommend that you partner with tax and financial planning professionals when dealing with these matters.

James Terwilliger, CFP®, is senior vice president, senior planning adviser, CNB Wealth Management, Canandaigua National Bank & Trust Company. He can be reached at 585-419-0670 ext. 50630 or by email at jterwilliger@cnbank.com.

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9

DiningOut

By Christopher Malone

Restaurant

Guide

The chipotle burger comes with a side of fries and pickles.

Eric’s Office Restaurant Canandaigua restaurant boasts an array of burgers and sandwiches, various pub fare and formal entrees

E

ric’s Office Restaurant, located at 574 County Road 28 in Canandaigua, sets itself up for a few jokes and puns about going to the office. However, the business means business and the only paper they’re pushing are napkins, menus and bills at the end of the meal.

The restaurant dates back to the mid-1970s, but was purchased by current owner Eric Zimmerman in 1997.

The two-room space is cozy and on the 10

55 PLUS - March / April 2019

smaller side; however, patrons dining in aren’t eating on top of each other.

There’s enough room to stretch arms, but tables are placed close enough to interact with others and eavesdrop on conversations.

Yes, kind of like a stereotypical office setting without the cubicles — thankfully.

Had we known Eric’s Office Restaurant was going to be as packed as it was, we would have requested a reservation. There was a 40-minute

wait, but the turnover, as it turned out, was faster than anticipated. The host gave us the option of eating at the bar — so what the heck?

The bar is not the best spot to be an inconspicuous restaurant reviewer, but it offered a refreshing point of view. It was rewarding to change things up, especially since we sat near the bar-dining area window, where the servers pick up the beverages.

Food aside, the experience of sitting in that spot was satisfying. The

interactions with many staffers was cordial and fun. The bartender did a great job of balancing her attention to bar-side patrons and getting the dining room orders up. The person we presumed to be the manager on duty even brought us popcorn from the popcorn maker; he was refilling the machine when we first went for some.

To make eating at the bar feasible, an inch-plus-thick block of wood is placed down. All dishes sat on top of them well.

The Scallops Alvaro ($12.95) and coffee chocolate tenderloin ($13.95) were two appetizers that stood out.

We also got Naked Dove Brewing Company IPA and a porter ($5.25 each). The Canandaigua brewery’s grog was featured on several taps in the restaurant.

The scallops were a light starter. They were graced with light sear marks and served with great company — mushrooms, red peppers and artichoke hearts. The lemon and basil sauce was really flavorful and not overly salty. The feta cheese also added to the flavor of each bite.

The tenderloin dish was also notable. Three pieces of the beef surrounded by stacked potato cakes. The port wine sauce was really delicious, and it paired well with the very subtle hints of chocolate and coffee on the meat. Although the beef was slightly overcooked from our order of medium rare, the meat wasn’t fatty or chewy.

Eric’s Office Restaurant boasts an array of dishes: numerous burgers and sandwiches, various pub fare and formal entrees. We opted for the chipotle burger ($10.95) and the veal parmesan entrée ($20.95).

The burger was delightful and was cooked medium rare. It definitely had a little kick thanks to the chipotle pesto and jack cheese. Along with the standard lettuce and tomato, bacon is invited to the flavor party. The burger comes with really crispy fries and crunchy pickles. Overall, this was a solid plate.

The restaurant really loves their parmesan. Under the house favorites section, the thee variations of eggplant, chicken, and veal are listed.

All three are topped with marinara and mozzarella, and, surprisingly, they are not served over pasta. The three generous pieces of veal were thin-sliced and tender. The breading

The Scallops Alvaro appetizer with mushrooms, peppers and artichokes comes with feta cheese and a lemon basil sauce.

The veal parmesan entree features three loins covered in marinara sauce and melted mozzarella. added a great crispiness to it, and the slightly chunky sauce had good flavor.

To go along with the entrée, I opted for a potato. I’m not sure why I ordered that instead of a salad. It was a shoot-from-the-hip response.

The spud definitely wasn’t my bud. It came out on the colder side, and the skin was a bit leathery.

Before tip, the bill came to $74.50.

Aside from the potato, the meal was an enjoyable one. There wasn’t an overabundance of food, and the leftovers enjoyed the following day were minimal — one veal cutlet and some fries.

Eric’s Office Restaurant is a great spot to clock back into for good food and conversation. The atmosphere welcoming patrons of various ages is warm, and kudos again goes to the cordial staff.

Eric’s Office Restaurant Address

574 County Road 28, Canandaigua, NY 14424

Phone

585-394-8787

Website/Social

ericsofficerestaurant.com facebook.com/OfficeRestaurant instagram.com/erics_office

Lunch

Monday – Friday: 11 a.m. – 2 p.m.

Dinner

Sunday: Closed Mon. – Thurs.: 11 a.m. – 9 p.m.

Fri. – Sat.: 11 a.m. – 9:30 p.m.

March / April 2019 - 55 PLUS

11

55+

racing

Mark Green passing The Yard of Bricks at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway in 2017.

Fast & Furious At 68, Mark Green continues to hit the racing circuit. For him, auto racing builds competitive spirit, camaraderie among participants

M

ark Green’s car is one of the last three 1988 Ralt RT5 Super Vee Chassis 732 ever built.

While 1988 doesn’t seem “vintage” to most of us, Green’s car is indeed considered just that.

It was the car famous racer Bernard Jordain raced in the Pro Super Vee series in 1988 prior to becoming “Rookie of the Year” at Indianapolis in 1989. It’s the car Green took to the Open Wheel Challenge at Indianapolis Motor Speedway in June 2017.

It’s a car that can reach upwards of 160 mph.

Green, 68, lives in Avon and has been involved in racing since he was just a kid and saw a television show about Formula One racing in 1959.

There was no turning back after that. Green started out behind the wheel doing autocross, which consists of driving a course set up with traffic cones in a large parking lot or airport tarmac.

From there, he got into road racing and now races at Watkins Glen, Lime Rock, and other courses with drivers from the Finger Lakes Region Sports Car Club of America and the 12

55 PLUS - March / April 2019

By Christine Green Sportscar Vintage Racing Association.

Cars aren’t just a hobby for Green, though. He’s worked in the auto industry in a variety of capacities since 1967. He was a consultant at several Rochester-area dealerships and spent 10 years as a manager and consultant at a dealership on St. Martins in the West Indies.

To some people racing might seem simple — get in a car and go.

But it requires more preparation than that. Green makes sure to keep in shape with neck exercises and time on the treadmill, and he does all of his own upkeep and maintenance on his car.

In addition, he has to make sure his safety gear is in top shape. Finally, when he gets behind the wheel, he needs absolute concentration.

“It’s a 100 percent focus,” he said.

“You have to train yourself to calm down and do your job.”

This is one of the reasons he enjoys the sport so much. That complete focus allows for an exhilarating, yet almost calming experience. “You just shut out everything else in the world for 20 minutes or a half hour,” Green remarked.

But even though he is alone in the seat, he isn’t alone on the track.

It’s the community and camaraderie around the sport that he enjoys more than anything else, and he was quick to praise the people surrounding him.

“I love it for the challenges, driving skills, mechanical talent, but most of all the great people in the sport.

Have a problem with your car? Your best competitor will help all he can to get you on the track and then you can race each other hard and share a drink after.

Spirit of congeniality “One driver’s family in one class will watch the kids of another while mom and dad are on track or in the pits. The people in the sport are the best people in the world whether they are your competitors, or the members that put the events on.”

He has plenty of other club racers who agree with him. Mary Hartman, 67, of Chili has been racing since the early 1980s. She started as part of the race medical team at Watkins Glen, but after spending some time with the racers and their crews, she decided to

give racing a shot. Today, she races in her Chevy Cobalt and, like Green, has made some great friends.

“I enjoy it very much,” said Hartman of her time on the track. “I think the big draw is the people that you meet. You meet a lot of really nice people. If you have a problem with your car, they are always there to help you out. If you want to go for a beer at the end of the day, there is always someone to sit around a bonfire or picnic table with.”

Green is truly considered one of those “really nice people” Hartman spoke of. Hartman has known Green for several years and admires him as a racer and person. “He’s very dedicated and takes his duties very seriously.

If there is a spot on the board or a spot on a committee, he is there to help,” she told this reporter.

Hartman isn’t the only one impressed with Green on and off the track. Mark Sherwood, 59, of Lakeville, also races and has known Green for about seven years. “Mark’s a great guy,” said Sherwood. He will do anything for you at the track. He’s a gentleman racer. He’s out there to enjoy himself and have fun with the rest of the guys.”

Larry Ekstan, 70, of Rochester, owns Ekstan Autoworks on Bennington Drive and has known and worked with Green in the 1980s and absolutely agreed that he is a true gentleman racer. “You got racers out there that are very aggressive, and Mark is just not like that,” said Ekstan.

Green doesn’t just get accolades from his friends and racing colleagues. He’s also been recognized by various racing organizations.

His awards and recognitions include the 1986 Finger Lakes Region’s “Most Improved Driver” award, and he won the 1986 New York State Road Racing Championship in the Formula Continental class. Green has also won races at Watkins Glen, Pocono in Pennsylvania, Nelson Ledges in Ohio and Lime Rock Park in Connecticut.

When Green isn’t racing, he enjoys wine tasting at local Finger Lakes wineries. He also likes to cook, listen to music, and head out on the open road for trips. As for the future, he hopes to continue to improve his driving skills as well as involve more people in the sport. Green was recently elected to the Finger Lakes Region SCCA Board of Directors.

Auto racer Mark Green at his home in Avon, sporting some of the medals he has earned during his career. Photo provided.

Many Roles in Racing “There’s a seat for everybody in club racing,” said Mark Green with a smile. “In our clubs, those who can’t drive work as flaggers, timers, scrutineers and organize the events. All volunteer.”

So even if you don’t want to actually drive a racecar, there is plenty of help needed. Green’s wife, Wendy, doesn’t race, but she is part of his pit crew and attends races and other club events.

If you do want to get behind the wheel, you can rest assured that safety is taken very seriously. Every year, racing gets safer with improvements in cars and racing gear. Industry safety standards and safety training for racers and crew continually improve.

Think racing is out of your budget? Mark Sherwood noted that it

isn’t nearly the monetary investment people may think and learning to drive a racecar can actually improve overall driving, even on city streets.

“It isn’t as expensive as people think. If you want to learn to drive a street car a lot better and be more aware of your surroundings, it is a really great thing to learn in terms of valuable skills.”

Sherwood, Green, and Mary Hartman would all love to see more people over 50 get involved in club racing in some way.

“If it is something you want to do, try it, and if you don’t want to get in the car, you can go do flagging, timing and scoring, or work the grid,” Hartman said. “There are all kinds of things you can do if you don’t actually want to get in the car itself.”

March / April 2019 - 55 PLUS

13

55+

collectibles

Large inventory of model cars, sleeping treasures, waiting to be adopted and go to a new home.

Auto Antiques It’s All About Model Cars, Memories A visit to the Palmyra store is a chance to be reacquainted with one’s youth

By John Addyman

T

he store is remarkably quiet, except for the murmurs of customers who have found a memory.

You hold it in your hand. And in nanoseconds, stories about your youth — or last summer — suffuse within you, taking you to another place.

In your mind, the memory is vapor. Vivid, but vapor. But you’re holding something in your hand now, something bright and shiny and rich.

A model car: A Ford Thunderbird. A Mustang. A ’57 Chevy. A Shelby Cobra. A Camaro Z/28. A Dodge Viper. An Audi TT or Alfa Romeo 4c.

It’s detailed. Real rubber. The steering works. The engine is in detailed splendor. A car you dreamed about is in your hands. A car you 14

55 PLUS - March / April 2019

drove is here to share with friends. A car that you and your wife made out in — right there in that tiny back seat — is a memory you can take home and put on a shelf.

Auto Antiques, a very special store at routes 21 and 31 in Palmyra, has thousands of die-cast cars just like the one in your hand. And books and sales literature about the car. And drag race versions of it. NASCAR models, too. Special TV cars and trucks and motorcycles and ambulances.

Mark Theobald, 60, is the owner, curator and collector who softly greets clients. He has years of experience as a car wholesaler, is a nationally known expert on coachbuilders (the companies that made special bodies for high-end cars), has created successful websites that compared

crash-test data for car buyers, and has accumulated a museum’s worth of stuff for Auto Antiques, his third store.

For gearheads, a visit to the store is to be reacquainted with your youth, with everything from $2 Hot Wheels up to $600 rare drag racing cars (Grumpy’s Toys, for instance).

Theobald is in constant touch with the market, selling below eBay prices, with an inventory you don’t have to wait for the Postal Service to deliver — you walk out of the store with it.

Collecting model cars is a male preoccupation, mostly, and sometimes it’s not easy.

“Guys may have a collection, but it’s not on display in their house,” he said. “They may have a cool man cave where their wife lets them keep the stuff that she doesn’t want to see.

One thing I noticed, just coming into the store — a guy will coerce his wife into driving up to the store. They will sit in the car and argue for a few minutes. Sometimes the guy will come into the store and sometimes they will leave. Many wives are averse to it because it’s money that could be spent on them, as simple as that, or on something she wants.”

Ouch.

That’s half the problem. The other

part is sadder.

“Very few people collecting anything today are under the age of 50,” he said. “Ten years from now, if I’m alive, you might see this store still open. I may make a little money. If I weren’t as well off as I am, I could not do it. Friends of mine who are antiques dealers have the exact same problems I do.

“The stuff will go away when we die. Very few people come into the store under the age of 40. There are teenagers who come in here, who have been exposed through video games. Most of them are just content to play the video games, but there are a couple of kids who come in here who are thrilled to be in here. When we were kids, you were either into sports, cars or music. I was into cars and music.”

Theobald and his wife, Sarah, a psychiatrist, were living in Vermont when he opened his first store, Motor Library, offering only books, yet it was successful. A second store, in Holland Patent, near Utica, sold fewer books but a lot of die-cast cars, with a huge NASCAR selection.

Now, in the Palmyra store, Auto Antiques has books for sale, thousands of them. But he’s still waiting for the market to return — most of them are half-price.

“I love automotive books,” he said. “I’m an automotive historian.

I need books to do my research. I started off as a rare automotive book dealer 25 year ago. Books were popular then. I would buy three or four copies of a popular title because I would sell them. Virtually every book in the store is half-priced because I last marked them 10 years ago. And they’re still not moving and I probably have 5,000 books in the store.

That’s kind of sad.”

Want a book about Ferraris? He has 80. And 60 Porsche books. 70 Mercedes books. And lots of Ford and Chevrolet and, well, you name it.

The store answers a lot of, “Do you have?” questions.

Looking for a dealership sales piece on a particular car? Ask Mark.

A Pirelli tire sign? Ask Mark.

Old issues of Hot Rod magazine, say from the 1960s? Mark has them, and a lot of other popular publications from inception to demise.

“They’re really cheap,” he said.

Magazine ads for cars? He’ll sell

Mark Theobald, owner of Auto Antiques in Palmyra, shows a highly detailed model of a Shelby Daytona Coupe. you the whole magazine. “It breaks my heart to tear up an old magazine to get the ads out,” he said.

The selection of die-cast cars extends in racks from the floor to the ceiling. Walk in the door and turn left and in a few steps you’re looking at the “A’s” — Audi, Alfa Romeo and AMC. At the opposite end of the store are the ‘Z’s” — Zimmers, for instance.

Most of the cars in the store are from $20 to $60, and in many cases, he has different years and colors available.

Theobald will school you on the quality models and point out the details of each.

He has Franklin Mint and Danbury Mint-issued cars in special cases and more are in storage. “The market for them is dwindling,” he said.

“Most of them were $100 – $125 when they were new. With some exceptions, they’re $40 now, but they are beautiful cars. Nobody is ever going to make cars this detailed again.”

Theobald also stocks a few air-

planes and boats and even has material on electric trains, but quickly adds, “That’s another dead subject.

Railroad fans are dropping like flies.

I also have tons of inventory of Mack trucks and snow plows, but people don’t care about them anymore.

That’s the story of my store…I have lots of stuff for old men.”

What he stocks in the store has changed a little with the new location in Palmyra, where he’s still in his first year of operation. He now has DVDs, race clothing, piles of photos and posters.

On this day, two men came in.

One was in his 60s, the other in his 30s. Father and son. A few minutes in one of the aisles and Theobald heard a familiar conversation begin.

“Look at this,” the younger man said. “Do you remember this car?”

And the men started a talk, jogged by a memory.

There’s so much more to a model car than holding it in your hand.

March / April 2019 - 55 PLUS

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A

ge discrimination can happen to anybody over age 40, but it’s difficult to prove.

With that said, here are the steps you’ll need to take to fight this growing problem if you think you’ve been treated unlawfully in the workplace.

ADEA Protection The Age Discrimination in Employment Act (ADEA) is your first defense against age discrimination. This is a federal law that says an employer cannot fire, refuse to hire, or treat you differently than other employees because of your age. Some examples of age discrimination include: • You were fired because your boss wanted to keep younger workers who are paid less.

• You were turned down for a promotion, which went to someone younger hired from outside the company, because the boss says the company “needs new blood.”

• When company layoffs are announced, most of the persons laid off were older, while younger workers with less seniority and less on-the-job experience were kept on.

• Before you were fired, your supervisor made age-related remarks about you.

• You didn’t get hired because the employer wanted a younger-looking person to do the job.

The ADEA protects all workers and job applicants age 40 and over who work for employers that have 20 or more employees — including federal, state and local governments as well as employment agencies and labor unions.

If your workplace has fewer than 20 employees, you may still be protected under your state’s anti-age discrimination law.

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55 PLUS - March / April 2019

What to Do If you think you are a victim of employment age discrimination, you may first want to talk to, or file a grievance with your company’s human resources department, but it’s important to remember that HR works for your employer, not for you.

If that doesn’t resolve the problem, you should file a charge with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) within 300 days from the date of the alleged violation.

In some states, it’s 180 days. You can do this by mail or in person at your nearest EEOC office (see EEOC.gov/ field/index.cfm) or call 800-669-4000.

They will help you through the filing process and let you know if you should also file a charge with your state anti-discrimination agency.

If you do file, be prepared to provide the names of potential witnesses, your notes about age-related comments and other episodes.

Once the charge is filed, the EEOC will investigate your complaint and find either reasonable cause to believe that age discrimination has occurred, or no cause and no basis for a claim.

After the investigation, the EEOC will then send you their findings along with a “notice-of-right-to-sue,” which gives you permission to file a lawsuit in a court of law.

If you decide to sue, you’ll need to hire a lawyer who specializes in employee discharge suits. To find one, see the National Employment Lawyers Association at NELA.org, or your state bar association at FindLegalHelp.org.

If you lose your job in a group termination or layoff, you should consider joining forces with other colleagues. There are advantages to proceeding as a group, including sharing costs of the litigation and strengthening your negotiating position.

Another option you may want to consider is mediation, which is a fair and efficient way to help you resolve your employment disputes and reach an agreement. The EEOC offers mediation at no cost if your current or former employer agrees to participate.

At mediation, you show up with your evidence, your employer presents theirs and the mediator makes a determination within a day or less.

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A: No. While it is true that under current law the full retirement age is gradually rising from 65 to 67, the “early” retirement age remains at 62.

Keep in mind, however, that taking early retirement reduces your benefit amount. For more information about Social Security benefits, visit www.socialsecurity.gov/planners/retire.

Q: I run a bed and breakfast. By this time every year, I am tired of all the paperwork involved with filing taxes. Is there an easier way for small businesses to file W-2s for their employees?

A: Absolutely. If you are a small business owner or entrepreneur, you should check out Social Security’s Business Services Online (BSO) website. There, you can file your employees’ W-2s and W-2cs electronically and print out the W-2s to provide paper copies to your employees. You also can verify the Social Security numbers of your employees. Our online services are easy to use, fast, and secure. Visit our BSO page at www. socialsecurity.gov/bso.

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19

55+

creativity

With friend and Evine TV host Kathy Norton in the MacKenzieChilds Farmhouse in Aurora.

Photo provided.

Creative Force Behind Mackenzie-Childs Rebecca Proctor has designs on the times

By Aaron Gifford

B

right, colorful, loud, energetic, happy, worldly and daring.

The products at MacKenzie-Childs indeed reflect the personality traits of its creative director, Rebecca Proctor, say friends and co-workers.

“Under her leadership, we don’t just make things — we make people happy,” said Mark Burgadon, who has worked there with Proctor for nearly a decade. “It’s in her DNA. She is Mackenzie-Childs. It’s her fiber.”

Proctor, 56, recently embarked upon business trips to Portugal, England, Germany and Japan to help grow her company’s product lines globally and obtain new ideas from different cultures. In March, she’ll travel to India. The Ithaca resident has played a key role during her 27 years there helping transform a mod-

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est pottery shop in Aurora, Cayuga County, to a brand that is sought after by collectors worldwide. Before her departure, she took some time to discuss her journey here and plans for the future.

Proctor was raised in Baltimore.

She has two older sisters. Her father, Sam, was an attorney, and her mother, Ruth, was a homemaker.

Ruth had a knack for interior design that inspired her daughters’ creativity early on. Sam was also a musician. The entire family enjoyed theater, art and music.

“We were always putting on little plays for each other,” Proctor recalled. “Any kind of performance or artwork was encouraged in our house. We grew up in such a creative environment.”

Proctor’s love for the arts brought

her to Ithaca College. She began as an aspiring actress but graduated as an art history major with a well-rounded portfolio that included courses in sociology and women’s studies, as well as a job as assistant curator in the art history office.

She never regretted changing paths, from performing arts to visual arts.

“I loved it,” she said, “and it was nice because you could design your own curriculum.”

Proctor also completed some of her coursework at Cornell University and the Parsons School of Design in New York City. Two summers in a row, Proctor worked as a sous chef in Greenwich, Conn., for Dot Roberts, who owned the tremendously successful Echo Scarf company.

The head chef at the time had

worked with Martha Stewart. Parties at Roberts’ mansion were frequented by the likes of Ralph Lauren and other titans in the fashion and arts industries.

“It was very, very inspiring,” Proctor said. “They were design-oriented business people. It opened my eyes to a lot of things.”

She remained in Ithaca after graduation, opening a retail-clothing store, High Gear, with a friend. This was the mid-1980s, an era when college girl fashions were colorful, fun, funky and forward thinking,” Proctor explained. She owned the store for six years.

“The way we saw it,” she said, “retail was an extension of theater.”

Setting the standard Proctor was reading a magazine one evening after work when she came across an article about Victoria MacKenzie-Childs’ creations. The shop MacKenzie-Childs ran with her husband, Richard, was only 35 miles up Cayuga Lake from Ithaca. Proctor made the trip a few days later. She still remembers her first glance at the property when she drove up the red brick driveway.

Proctor met the couple, discussed her credentials, and was hired as their personal assistant. A short time later, she was traveling with them to Indonesia, England and Eastern Europe.

Proctor was responsible for brokering deals between manufacturers and her company’s designers.

“They trusted me to make sure their designs came to life,” Proctor said. “It was a rare and delightful opportunity.”

With Proctor on board, MacKenzie-Childs enjoyed rapid growth, expanding its product line to include pottery, furniture, rugs, ceramics, tableware, furnishings, home and garden accessories. The store remained at corporate headquarters in Aurora; decades later the company added shops in New York City and then del Lago Resort & Casino in Waterloo.

In 2000, Pleasant Rowland, who created the American Girl brand, took over MacKenzie-Childs and promoted Proctor to lead as the creative director and chief brand officer. Essentially, she was responsible for every visual aspect of the company.

At Mackenzie-Childs in Aurora. Photo provided.

A blustery day in Aurora.

March / April 2019 - 55 PLUS

21

In that role, Proctor continued to promote “happy colors and patterns.”

MacKenzie-Childs’website shows a dazzling array of gifts. There’s a five-piece place setting painted with the company’s unmistakable checkered design, for $98. There’s a kitchen timer with a colorful flower design for $50. One of the most unique items is the Forest Fish chair, which has a maple frame. The back of the chair is made of fish-shaped fabric with painted landscapes. This item, priced at $1,995, is on back order due to high demand. The highest-end pieces of the furniture listed on the site sell for more than $6,000.

Customized approach According to the website, every piece is made by hand and signed by the artist, and no two pieces are identical.

“The most important element we work with is not clay or wood or paint; It is our artisans,” the website says. “Their signature individuality is happily evident on every piece that bears their stamps and our name.

That evidence of the artisan’s hand is what makes each piece a one-of-a kind work of beauty and grace.”

Proctor embraced the onset of online shopping, and saw globalization as a growth opportunity to penetrate new markets as opposed to a Goliath that destroys small businesses. The internet is a great tool, she explained, for communicating with designers and customers across the world.

“Talking to so many people in different countries about painting techniques is a thrill,” she said. “When I got into this field, I never imagined being able to do that.”

Handcrafted goods with the MacKenzie-Childs brand are made all over the world, but the company has committed to remaining in Aurora.

“We’ve enjoyed responsible globalization,” Proctor said.

She loves the travel that comes with the job. Portugal and India are among her favorite places, largely because of the food, color, history and fragrances. She also enjoyed several trips to England, where there’s a huge fanfare for MacKenzie-Childs hand-painted tea kettles.

While overseas, Proctor often visits retail stores that carry MacKenzie-Childs goods. She enjoys speak22

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ing engagements, but is just as happy listening.

“We want people to tell us what we need to do to keep the brand relevant,” Proctor said.

MacKenzie-Childs is a popular brand with celebrities, and Proctor has met many influential folks over the years. One of her favorite customers is Iris Apfel, a fashion icon and world-renowned interior designer who is still going strong at age 97.

The Aurora property, located on a Victorian farm overlooking Cayuga Lake, has also become somewhat of a tourist attraction. The original structure dates back to 1909, and was first used as a dormitory for an all-girls prep school.

The company began producing pottery out of that building in 1983 and later built its headquarters up the road. Free tours of the historic farmhouse are offered year-round, and visitors are also welcome to stroll through the massive gardens.

The company’s annual barn sale, a four-day event, has drawn more than 25,000 customers, locals and international travelers alike. Mackenzie Childs made headlines again recently when Patience Brewster, a famous designer and book illustrator, joined the company’s creative team, bolstering its collection of hand-painted holiday ornaments.

Proctor is married to Robert Aceto, a musician who has performed as a session and touring guitarist with rock ‘n’ roll bands, including the Tom Tom Club. Their son, Alexei, is a classical piano student at Ithaca College.

Even though they live within the city of Ithaca, their home is surrounded by forest, allowing the family and their 150-pound Irish wolfhound to enjoy the Finger Lakes’ four seasons to the fullest.

Loving life Proctor stays fit by taking the huge dog for walks year-round.

During the warmer months, she finds time for gardening. She also has an indoor exercise bike (Peloton) that, via online technology, allows users to participate in live cycling classes to New York City. She calls the experience challenging, fun and great for folks who are “not a fan of gyms.”

“You ride to the levels of the music, so there’s a lot of variety,” she

said. “It distracts you from the pain that can come with exercise.”

She loves to cook and bake, and owns hundreds of cookbooks. Proctor bakes all of the bread consumed in her home and is especially fond of a mostly vegetarian Mediterranean diet. She prefers organic goods and locally grown produce when it’s available, and she limits her sugar intake.

“When I’m home, all I want to do is cook,” she said.

Tammy Dorward, head of the company’s product development team, travels with Proctor overseas, including India and Portugal. Although she’s been with the company for less than two years, “it feels like we’ve been best friends forever.

That’s just the kind of person she is,” Dorward said.

Dorward has tried to uncover some of the secret ingredients to her colleague’s success. Her key findings: peanut butter and the family dog.

“Straight out of the jar, she’ll eat it that way. It’s straight up protein,” Dorward said with a laugh. “Maybe that’s the energy source for that creativity. She’s never on slow mode.

She’s always going 110 mph; it’s impossible to keep up. Themes, ideas, anything you see on our website — she’s the one who had the idea. She is so passionate and funny and truly someone who is so full of life.”

“When she gets thinking about her dog and talking about it, that’s pretty funny,” Dorward added. “Her love and affection for that massive dog just oozes out.”

Burgadon said Proctor spent significant time in every department as part of her climb to the creative director and chief brand officer positions, inspiring everyone she’s met along the way.

“That personality,” he said, “is infectious.”

With the company going so strong and her level of enjoyment as high as it has ever been, Proctor is not even thinking about whether to retire at 65, 75 or even 95. She challenges others to stay positive to the best of their abilities.

“This is an interesting time in the world, but it’s really important to find joy in everything you do,” she said.

“I can’t imagine doing anything else.

If work and play feel like the same thing, why would you stop?”

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55+

fencing

Live by the Sword Fencing all the rage in Rochester

By Mike Costanza

A

sport with its origins in com- a foil, the heavier épée or the saber. bat training might help you None of them are made to actually stay physically healthy and harm an opponent, and those who fence wear heavy protective clothing, mentally sharp.

Fencing originated from the de- mesh masks and a sort of jacket called velopment of swordsmanship for a “lamé.”

The lamé is designed to electroniduels and self-defense. The sport requires split-second decision-making, cally detect the touch of a blade, indicating that the fencer’s opponent has stamina, agility, flexibility and skill.

In order to score points, a fenc- scored a point.

The United States Fencing Assoer must be able to effectively attack an opponent while gauging and de- ciation is the national governing body fending against attacks. Matches take for the sport in the United States. place in an area that is sometimes re- There are local, state, national and international tournaments. Fencers can ferred to as the “strip.”

“You’re playing advanced chess compete in teams or individually, but in your mind while you’re racing up all matches involve single combat.

“You have a competitor, and and down the strip, trying to keep in balance and keep parrying his (your you’re both trying to do the sport opponent’s) blade,” says veteran properly and get better, and see who bout,” Sussman says. “It is fencerWilliams, Steven Sussman, 71. of “I Williams don’t wins John 57, president Farmsthe in Marion. fun, but you’re not just doing it for think there’s any other sport that reHe is behind the transition of the farm from a local grower quires that level of aerobics, balance fun.” to a major distribution hub in the potato industry. by fencing at a young You Photo can start and mental agility.”

Deborah J. Sergeant.

Fencers can take to the strip with age. Semion Kiriakidi first picked up 24

55 PLUS - March / April 2019

the foil at the age of 10.

“Fencing was one of the major sports in my hometown,” the Russian-born 55-year-old says, in the accent of his homeland.

Kiriakidi continued fencing until medical school but his medical practice prevented him from doing so — he was a surgeon in Russia for 20 years. He took up the sport again in 2003, after moving to Rochester to work as a researcher for the University of Rochester Medical Center.

“It was a rejuvenating moment for me, both physically and emotionally,” Kiriakidi explains.

Since then, Kiriakidi has advanced within his sport. When he and his wife moved to Wilkes Barre, Pa., so she could enter a medical residency, he began fencing professionally and founded his own fencing school.

There, he teaches the use of a foil, épée or saber.

Kiriakidi moved back to the Rochester area in 2011, and began working as a fencing coach. Last August, he founded his own school in Greece, Ludus Fencing Studios.

Though the demands of his business prevent him from competing in tournaments, Kiriakidi continues to espouse the health benefits of taking on an opponent.

“It’s exciting, and because of this

fighting component, the intensity of physical activity, the adrenaline rush you have during fighting, it makes you burn much more energy,” he says. “Probably, during 10 minutes of actual fencing, the actual energy you burn is equal to an hour to an hourand-a-half on an exercise machine.”

Learning an art A coach’s suggestion led Sussman to pick up a foil. During his first year at Stuyvesant High School in New York City, the Brooklyn native sought to join the football team. The school’s football coach encouraged him to join Stuyvesant’s fencing team. Back then, some New York City schools had such teams.

“I probably wasn’t a good enough football player, and he needed people on the fencing team more than he needed more football players,” the Pittsford resident explains.

All new fencers had to learn the rudiments of the sport. Sussman spent about two months exercising and learning the footwork required for proper fencing before picking up a foil. When he did, it was nothing like being one of the Three Musketeers.

Sussman fenced with his high school and college teams, and then with a club in Washington, D.C., before his job prevented him from continuing. He picked it up again at the age of 65, joined the Rochester Fencing Club, and is once again competing. Last December, the retired industrial automation executive headed to Cincinnati, Ohio, for a national USFA tournament, where he came in 11th of 22 fencers in his age bracket.

He missed coming in seventh by one touch.

Though Sussman is an avid bicyclist, he credits fencing for helping him stay in good physical shape as well as mentally sharp.

“I think fencing is really good, as you age, for the brain,” he says.

“It definitely builds brain synapses, keeps the brain going.”

There is some research to support the view that sports like fencing can help practitioners stave off some of the effects of aging. A 2012 study by Italian researchers found that fencing was associated with the improvement of some of the cognitive functions that naturally decline with aging, such as the abilities to pay attention and to

process information.

Fencing might also help older adults deal with the isolation that can sometimes come with advancing years.

“As you get older, you’re trying to find other groups to be with,” says Iris Zimmerman of the Rochester Fencing Club. “You have a great community here that isn’t just a community of adults, but it’s also children that you can fence with, learn from, and teach.”

Zimmerman is co-owner of the Rochester Fencing Club and its president. She competed in the 2000 Olympics on the U.S. Olympic Fencing Team, and was an alternate for the 2004 team.

For Sussman, fencing provides much more in the way of benefits.

“If you want to stay young forever, try fencing,” he says. “Or at least, you may die with a sword in your hand.”

Russian-born 55-year-old Semion Kiriakidi first picked up the sport of fencing at the age of 10. Last August, he founded his own school in Greece, Ludus Fencing Studios.

Steven Sussman, 71, of Pittsford, who practices at Rochester Fencing Club, finished 11th among 22 fencers in his age bracket who competed in Cincinnati, Ohio.

March / April 2019 - 55 PLUS

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55+ cataracts Not Your Grandmother’s Cataract Surgery

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

P

erhaps you’re not seeing as well at night. Or it’s harder to distinguish between objects similar in color. You notice you need more light to read, complete puzzles or sew. It could be time to talk with your eye care provider about the possibility of cataract surgery.

A cataract isn’t a disease or a film that grows over the eye. Steve Park, ophthalmologist with Cornerstone Eye Associates in Rochester, said those are commonly held misconceptions among new patients.

“Cataract is a clouding of the natural lens,” Park said. “It happens to everyone as part of the aging process.”

An elective surgery, some patients choose to delay the surgery. Though cataracts worsen in time, they don’t damage the eyes or cause pain.

“Some patients are anxious to recover their vision as fast as they can; others who are more sedentary are reasonably getting along and they wait,” Park said. “Others are nervous about any kind of surgery so they delay as long as they can.”

Patients may remember their parents’ surgery; however, cataract surgery has advanced much in recent decades. For one, it’s no longer a consideration to wait until the cataract is “ripe” or more advanced.

Park said that complications are so rare that physicians encourage patients to seek surgery once they feel that their vision interferes with activities, not to the point where they can hardly see anymore.

“It’s the most common surgery in the nation with 3 million done annu26

55 PLUS - March / April 2019

ally,” Park said.

His office performs 3,000 annually.

Instead of a hospital-based surgery, patients can select a surgical center for cataract surgery, now considered an out-patient procedure.

Surgeons typically don’t use general anesthesia, but local anesthesia and IV sedation, so patients feel deeply relaxed, but remain to follow the surgeon’s instruction so their eyes remain in the right position for surgery.

Patients may briefly feel mild eye irritation, but no pain.

“Patients were being admitted to the hospital and staying for a week,” said Kenneth Dickerson, ophthalmologist and senior instructor of clinical ophthalmology department of ophthalmology with Flaum Eye Institute.

“Now they show up on the day of surgery and are home a few hours later.”

The surgery itself takes about 10 minutes; however, the pre-operation procedures and recovery take longer.

With early cataract surgeries, patients simply had the lenses removed and had to wear very thick glasses afterward to see well.

Now, surgeons use ultrasonic technology that breaks up the lens into tiny pieces and it’s suctioned from the eye through tiny incisions.

Surgeons use lasers and even robotics for improved precision. Patients receive artificial lens, some of which

Steve Park, ophthalmologist with Cornerstone Eye Associates in Rochester, a practice that performs 3,000 cataract surgeries every year. can actually improve vision over how well they could see before cataracts.

“We can get them closer to being glasses-free,” Dickerson said. “We can make marked improvements in far vision, intermediate vision and in some cases, near vision. We have lenses that correct for astigmatism and multi-focal lenses. It’s exciting to be living in these times where we can make these improvements.”

Usually, insurance covers only standard lenses, not the extra expense

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for lenses that correct vision.

For six weeks after surgery, patients use eye drops to prevent infection and inflammation. Then, they can be fitted for new glasses, as needed.

Dickerson said that about 90 percent of patients and doctors achieve the goal of the surgery. Rarely, the lens shifts, which changes its power and may require correction.

“Nothing with any of this is 100 percent,” Dickerson said. “It is safe and effective. There’s low chance of complication, but it’s not zero.”

That’s why most offices still perform cataract surgery on one eye, wait a week to two weeks and then operate on the other eye. Patients can resume most activities the day of or the day after surgery and usually don’t need any care except for a ride home.

In the meantime, patients receive a day-after and a week-after follow-up examination. In about a month after the second surgery, the patient should be completely healed.

Dickerson said that since cataracts are a clouding of the lens that occurs over time, little can be done to prevent them except protecting the eyes from sun exposure, a step that’s more effective if begun early. Occupational hazards like working outside and welding can hasten the necessity of cataract surgery.

“Afterward, sunglasses will be something you’ll be wearing because you had a yellow lens and now it’s removed,” Dickerson said. “Everything will look clearer, brighter. For anyone in a northern climate, if they’re out shoveling snow, they should be wearing sun protection.”

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27

55+

cover

Promoting Diversity

Annette and Carmelo Ramos bring Latinx culture, community outreach to Rochester area

By Christine Green

W

hen Annette Ramos boarded a plane in 1995 to attend a Native American Peace Elders gathering in Puerto Rico, she packed three Gucci bags and brought her Armani shoes.

Carmelo Ramos was also attending the gathering but packed much lighter and a little more sensibly for a spiritual retreat in the mountain town of Orocovis.

In fact, her Los Angeles style and fashion was a deep contrast to his simple jeans and flannel shirts. Still, she couldn’t keep her eyes off him and sought out his company every chance she could. After the gathering, he returned to his hometown of Rochester and she to Los Angeles. But over the course of the next several months, they courted by phone and in 1996, they wed in the Amazon jungle in a traditional indigenous ceremony.

Today, they each wear handcrafted silver wedding rings. His is emblazoned with traditional Taino (the indigenous peoples of the Caribbean)

28

55 PLUS - March / April 2019

feminine symbols and hers with traditional male symbols.

Annette Ramos, 57, was born and raised in New York City but lived in Los Angeles working as an actor and community activist before marrying Carmelo and moving to Rochester in 1996.

Since her arrival in the Flower City, Annette has worked as an actor, a bilingual storyteller, an educator and teaching artist. In each role she’s taken on, she advocates tirelessly for diversity in the local art scene, a tradition she proudly attributes to her Puerto Rican mother who instilled in her the value of volunteerism and community engagement.

“Mommy taught me that one voice can make a difference,” she said. “And that is the foundation of my advocacy work — I need to be that one voice.”

In 2011, she used her voice and talent to help establish the Rochester Latino Theater Company, Inc. along with Stephanie Paredes, a fellow Rochester actor.

Paredes and Annett Ramos met at several local theater auditions and noticed that they were regularly cast, if they were cast at all, in stereotypical Latina roles: hyper-sexualized women or maids. They were frustrated with these formulaic and often racist portrayals.

So together, they came together in what Ramos called “a mom-and-mom theater company.”

Their first show was in 2013 and since then, they’ve produced numerous shows. Paredes said the RLTC “works hard to make sure our stories are told with dignity, pride and respect.”

Ramos isn’t a one-job-at-a-time kind of person, though, and being executive director of the RLTC isn’t the only thing that has kept her busy over the years.

She also is a storyteller who brings traditional Latinx stories to classrooms all over the area to instruct children of all grade levels about cultural history and theater arts.

She has also worked with Young

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29

Annette Ramos and her husband at their home in Rochester.

Audiences of Rochester, the Rochester Broadway Theater League and with numerous organizations such as Latina Unidas and Arts and Cultural Council of Greater Rochester.

Today, Ramos is the community connector for Geva Theater Center.

Mark Cuddy, artistic director, reached out to Ramos during the 2017 production of “In The Heights” to provide connection and support.

“We wanted to partner with RLTC to make sure that Geva engaged local Latinx theater artists, and the general Latinx community.

Annette and Stephanie Paredes were so very helpful in providing connections and support to the production,” Cuddy said. “In the spring of 2018, when Annette left her position at the Rochester Broadway Theater League, we immediately called her to help us forge even stronger bonds into communities that have not been historically that close to Geva.

“She has since worked as a consultant for us in our new engagement department as a community connector. Annette’s vast network of friends and colleagues throughout various Rochester organizations and government departments has been built over the years through her tireless volunteer work. She is a person who ‘walks the walk’, giving her time and talents to multiple causes and grassroots efforts. She is a positive and invaluable 30

55 PLUS - March / April 2019

force for good in the Rochester arts community,” said Cuddy.

Ramos does indeed “walk the walk” and makes sure the Rochester Latinx community is represented in the Rochester theater and arts communities. Additionally, she noted, it is about much more than empty gestures toward the community. “Slapping Spanish on a flyer doesn’t fly with me,” she said.

She described her job as much more nuanced and inclusive than that. “It’s all about engagement,” she explained. “You can invite an organization and that is transactional. We’re really looking for relationships.”

When asked to describe Ramos, Paredes didn’t hesitate in her response. She has a “relentless, unapologetic spirit and energy that is contagious, powerful, inclusive, generous and kind. She works from the heart always and never gets into something in order to get accolades. She’s always uplifting other people as well. She likes to be engaged in places where she can make an impact,” Paredes said.

Ramos is working on the development of a nonprofit center for Latinx Arts in Western New York and Finger Lakes called the Latinx Arts and Culture Center Association, Inc. The organization will preserve, develop and promote Latinx arts and culture in the Finger Lakes and West-

ern New York communities to ensure cultural equity in the arts and cultural sectors.

This next phase of her advocacy work will continue to support and elevate artists of color in the region.

She hopes to further “open the field for brown and black artists and to cultivate their talent in a way that scaffolds skills and confidence. Our children don’t know they can do that job unless they see others do that job.”

Student to teacher Carmelo Ramos, 67, was nervous about a feature article in 55 Plus magazine or any other publication for that matter. “I don’t get out there that much,” he said during the interview.

He has called Rochester home since he was just a little child and his parents brought him here from Puerto Rico. As a child, he was always busy with sports and enjoyed being physically fit. In his late teen years, he joined a karate class and became adept at Chito-ryu.

During his training, he and several classmates took a trip to Toronto for a karate tournament. It was here that Ramos met “Mr. Hirano,” a Japanese samurai who changed his life forever.

For the next 20 years, Carmelo Ramos would travel back and forth from Rochester to Toronto to visit Hirano and his family and to take in

Hirano’s Zen teachings. During his years of study with Hirano, Ramos did everything from construction work to bake bread and teach karate until he got a job in the late 1970s at the Al Siegel Center teaching martial arts and tai chi to people with multiple disabilities.

He also worked with troubled youth at the Threshold Center in the 1980s as an outreach counselor for nine years.

During this time, Carmelo Ramos also expanded his studies by traveling to Guayama, Puerto Rico, to visit his uncle who is a traditional healer and spiritual counselor. He also connected to Tuscarora elder and medicine man Ted Williams as well as Twylah Nitsch of the Seneca Wolf Clan. He attended spiritual retreats around the world and journeyed to India and Peru.

Ramos’ life took another turn when Liz Nally, a social worker at Jewish Senior Life, took a tai chi class with him through her local continuing education program. She asked him if he would consider teaching modified tai chi to residents at her work.

He cheerfully agreed and now 20 years later, he is their first integrative medicine specialist.

Nally, 63, of Greece, is also an integrative medicine specialist and together, they provide tai chi, massage, bodywork, and other alternative healing modalities to residents of the Jewish Senior Life campus.

Jewish Senior Life offers a continuum of senior care from companion care and rehabilitation services to independent and assisted living, longterm care, and memory care.

Nally describes Carmelo Ramos as extremely charismatic and gentle with everyone he works with.

“What I have seen over the years with our patients and our long-term residents is that he has a wonderful ability to help them to believe in themselves and to have hope for quality of life even at a time in their life when they may be severely compromised physically, mentally, and emotionally,” she said.

She added what Ramos offers to the people he works with is not so much a cure as a special type of healing.

“Healing is different than cure,” said Nally. “They can be healed by being able to perceive themselves as

Ying and Yang: Opposites Attract At first glance, Annette Ramos and Carmelo Ramos appeared to be exact opposites — one an extroverted actor and community activist and the other a quiet, shamanic healer.

But their differences have not created rifts between them. In fact, their similarities and shared goals have strengthened their bond.

“Our career and work has never been just a straight line,” said Annette. “It has always been the accumulation of knowledge, and it is really seeped in our cultural identity and honoring the ancestors.”

For Annette, that meant learning about and uplifting Latinx artists.

For Carmelo, it meant connecting with and learning from indigenous elders. At the heart of it, they are both dedicated to healing the community.

“While Annette is building community and healing through the arts, Carmelo is healing people’s spirits and physical body,” Paredes said.

“He is like a flower — still, grounded, present. She is a butterfly gathering and sharing nectar. They are just really good people.”

Their daughter, Aurora Ramos, felt privileged to grow up with such loving, connected parents and said that their relationship is a “really good balance. My mom can really bring my dad out of his shell. They greater than their illnesses and what’s happening to them and I think that is one of his special gifts.”

Ramos is extremely humble when it comes to this sort of praise, though, and remarked, “I’m still a novice with this kind of work; I’m still learning a lot about it.”

Barbara Warrick-Fisher, 77, of Irondequoit agrees that he has a special touch with those he works with.

Warrick-Fisher has known Ramos since the 1980s when he led her and several other people on a vision quest on his friend’s wooded property near Middlesex. Today, it’s a little harder to kneel down to enter the lodge or hike through the woods, but Ramos is kind and patient with everyone, no matter their abilities or needs.

“That’s what I find so endearing about him,” she remarked. “He cares

work off of each other. We’ve had a great relationship my whole life.

They are some awesome parents.

Both taught me to be myself and do what I think is right. They are so important to me.”

Annette said she has learned quite a bit from Carmelo, especially “loving kindness and listening for understanding.

“These are the principles I’ve see and experience in my marriage,” she said.

Carmelo said he admires Annette’s “drive and passion for the work she does. It’s good to see people with passion. She has a drive that is very energetic. I’ve learned to understand how that works and move along with it versus clash with it. She has really great energy.”

It’s clear they are both deeply dedicated to each other, and Annette wishes that everyone can have such a fulfilling life partner. “Even when I didn’t know I was being held, I was being held. Everyone should have that experience in a partnership and marriage,” she said.

To learn more about Carmelo Ramos, pick up a copy of “Standing in Stillness” by Jane Moress Schuster. The book is about his life as well as Hirano’s teachings.

Follow Annette Ramos on Twitter www.twitter.com/ latinastory and Facebook rochesterlatinotheatrecompany. and believes you can still have your health, agility or vision and won’t say you’re too old to do that.”

Ramos doesn’t carry business cards and he doesn’t have a website.

He doesn’t maintain a social media presence either. Despite the radio silence, people all over Western New York, the country and the world seek him out to help with their spiritual and physical concerns. But his zen teaching taught him the virtue of humbleness and humility.

“He doesn’t like the limelight,” Warwick-Fisher said. “He is who he is and he stands on that without having to brag.”

“When you do a deed, you bury it and then talk about someone else’s,” he said just before mentioning how wonderful his wife is.

March / April 2019 - 55 PLUS

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55+ writing

Writing Group Publishes First Book Members of ‘Express Yourself in Writing’ class at Osher Lifelong Learning Center publishes book of short stories

By Christine Green

P

atricia Edelman of Brighton is a retired school librarian who felt the need to give voice to her grandfather’s stories of early life on the midwestern plains.

So she joined the “Express Yourself in Writing” class at the Osher Lifelong Learning Center in Rochester to begin the process getting these important family stories on paper.

When her instructor, Barbara Murphy died, she suddenly found herself in the position of teacher and leader.

That was over 17 years ago. Today, Edelman, 93, still leads the class, which is still thriving. The group just published its first book of short stories, “Storytelling Around the Table” at the end of 2018.

A Class Act The students in Edelman’s class 32

55 PLUS - March / April 2019

range in age from their mid-50s to their 90s and come from a wide variety of backgrounds, including a surgeon, two combat veterans and a social worker, among others.

Their differences don’t matter when they sit in class together as what binds them is their shared loved of writing.

Anthology contributor Sharon Lansing, 71, of Irondequoit, is one of the newer members who signed up in January last year. Despite some initial reservations, the welcoming and supportive atmosphere kept her coming back: “What I have found to be so remarkable about this writing group is the sincerity and depth of the support we have for each other’s efforts,” said Lansing. “Through our writing we have come to know and appreciate each other and our unique perspectives on life. This writing

Members of the “Express Yourself in Writing” class at Osher, from left: Rafael Acosta, James Cornell, Sharon Lansing, Gerald Honch, Bob Whelan, Barbara Fisher, Patricia Edelman, Joyce Arnold and Judith Burns (a.k.a J.A. Goodman). Photo by Christine Green. group has been a surprising and singular experience for me.”

Her sentiments were echoed by everyone else in the class when they gathered in December to pick up their hot-off-the-presses copies of “Storytelling Around the Table.”

The connection to one another as friends and fellow artists was evident as they expressed their joy and excitement over their publishing achievement.

“The involvement with the class, not just the book but the whole fiction writing thing, has been an affirming experience. After a life of focused on work — I did social work — it’s been a chance to exercise my brain cells in a new way,” noted writer James Cornell, 69, of Livonia.

Storytelling Around the Table Student and writer Judith Burns felt the special connection between the students and saw potential in each of their stories. Burns wrote her first book at age 72 under the pen Continued on 34

March / April 2019 - 55 PLUS

33

Continued from 32 name, J. A. Goodman. There are now three books in her Emma Mason mystery series that center around a homicide detective working in Rochester.

Her novel writing experience gave her a special insight into publishing, and she knew that this class could also create a special book. She presented the idea of an anthology of short stories to the class last spring, and it didn’t take long for the group to jump on board. Burns acted as the anthology coordinator.

Edelman called Burns “very organized” and knew that she was the perfect leader for this project.

Meetings about the book began in the summer of 2018 and together the class picked 31 stories to include in the volume. The stories range from fantastical tales of ghosts and spirits to science fiction mysteries about tricky aliens. There are also tales of love and family and stories of tragedy and longing.

Burns carefully reviewed each story, suggested appropriate edits, and offered encouragement to her fellow writers.

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55 PLUS - March / April 2019

Where to get ‘Storytelling Around the Table’ Copies of “Storytelling Around the Table” are available at Amazon. com as well as at Patti’s Pantry at 2485 Dewey Ave. in Rochester.

“Everybody has been so genuine; they’ve written from their hearts,” said Burns. “They trusted me to put their stories in good form. I really enjoyed giving people as much help as I could so that they could be as good as they could be.”

She is quick to point out, though, that while she was facilitator of the anthology project she wasn’t “the boss.” They put their heads together to choose not just which stories to include but to agree on details like the cover, the back-cover descriptions and the dedication.

“We did everything together. I’m thrilled with the book,” said Burns.

When asked how they came up with the title “Storytelling Around the Table” Burns said, “That is really what we do. We sit around the table and we tell stories. Of course, even though our writing comes from our imaginations, it gives up a part of you and who you are. So, we sit around the table and give up sections of ourselves in our writing.”

Joyce Arnold, 73, of Spencerport brings a touch of humor to all of her storytelling. Arnold agrees that the act of writing is also an intimate andInserting textIn personal act of sharing. “There is a Inserting textIn te piece of all of us in our writing. You textInserting textInserting te get closer to people that way,” said Inserting textIn textInserting te Arnold. textInserting te And close they are. textIn World War II veteran Bob Whel-Inserting textInserting te an, 93, of Penfield, recalled how textInserting te writing helped him and US Army Inserting textIn officer Steve McAlpin, 59, of Web- textInserting te ster, deal with the reality of life back home after combat. Whelan advised McAlpin to share of the good in life as well as the pain in order to process trauma and difficulties. He and McAlpin were able to use their writing as a way to “get deep down inside yourself and reveal yourself to other folks,” said Whelan.

Several of the writers mentioned that they just wanted to focus on promoting and selling “Storytelling” before thinking about the next big group project.

55+ activities

Fountain of Youth Osher Lifelong Learning Institute keeps brain fresh and active

By Jane Eggleston

B

orn in Rochester and raised in Greece and Webster, I graduated from Thomas High, headed off to Hobart and William Smith Colleges in 1965, and never looked back.

But 48 years later I returned — from Florida no less!

This seems to be mixed-up thinking! Aren’t retirees supposed to head south to Florida to escape the cold, snowy winters? Not me! Having retired in 2012 from the U.S. Geological Survey, I sold my home and moved to Rochester in June of 2013.

But what drew me back?

Well, I love the four seasons, for one. But the real draw was many of my family and family friends still

live in the area. Wouldn’t it be nice to be closer to them after all these years, to attend family celebrations and holidays together, or just get together for a hike, a kayak excursion or a game night?

But at 66, I wondered how I might meet friends with similar interests that are open to new ideas and enthusiastic about living and learning. In walking my dog in my Pittsford neighborhood that first summer, I stopped to chat with a neighbor. That is how I learned of Osher Lifelong Learning Institute at the Rochester Institute of Technology.

A few of my Florida friends had talked about OLLI in Tallahassee, but I didn’t know much about it. In

Googling Osher at RIT, I learned its members lead the courses and the institute has its own facility a few miles south of RIT off East River Road.

The institute was once called The Athenaeum, but in 2006 they applied for and received a grant from the Bernard Osher Foundation and changed the name. In 2009, they moved into the current facility.

The Osher Council, composed of members and adeptly supported by our three incredible RIT staff members, keeps the wheels moving in this organization of over 700 members.

Osher offers three full terms of 10 weeks each and an eight-week summer term. There are about 50-60 courses offered in each full term, and

Jane Eggleston, in front, looking at the camera, moved back to Rochester after living in Florida many decades.

She said she discovered Osher Lifelong Learning Institute. “My energy is restored by being among people who are curious, active learners,” she says.

March / April 2019 - 55 PLUS

35

classes are 1 1/2 to two hours long.

I was like a kid in a candy store as I perused the catalogue. There is such a variety of courses, from the arts (music, composers, fine art), to literature (Shakespeare, Tolkien, Sherlock Holmes, Philip Roth, The New Yorker, poetry, Irish literature and culture, etc.), to history (Mayan, Mesopotamia, the Holy Roman Empire, China, the robber barons, U.S. presidents, first ladies, Mt. Hope Cemetery, Churchill, etc.), science (evolution, the brain, astronomy, geography/geology, current issues in science, etc.), current events, languages, philosophy/sociology/ religion, writing (journaling, short stories, poetry), film (directors, theme-related, Bollywood), and so many other diverse subjects.

How does one choose? I could join and try out Osher for a term ($160) or join for an entire year ($320).

I soon found myself taking eight or more courses a term. It was such fun and there are no tests or required homework.

Vibrant environment Questions are encouraged and there are great discussions. Even with many interests outside of Osher, I find that staying at home for a few days begins to sap some of my energy. But just walking into the Osher facility, my energy is restored by being among people who are curious, active learners.

Excitement is in the air. If you don’t bring your lunch, a food truck stops by at lunchtime. I have made many wonderful friends at Osher, and lunch is a great opportunity to chat about courses with old and new friends. We have interesting guest speakers such as Mayor Lovely Warren and David Cay Johnson every Thursday at lunch; an arts and lectures series with performers/speakers and refreshments; special interest groups where you can share common interests; excursions to RIT’s new MAGIC facility, the Eastman House, Monroe County Crime Lab, and other locations between terms, and a summer program of seminars and field trips.

These are all wonderful opportunities to learn more about the area we live in and share experiences with Osher friends.

While majoring in math at Hobart and William Smith Colleges, I was inspired by a wonderful geology professor. As a result, I continued my studies at Syracuse University, where I was a real anomaly — I was the first female geology graduate student there in decades.

After graduate school, I moved to Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, where I worked on environmental issues and was a geologist for the state of West Virginia. I also served as chief of coal exploration at a consulting firm in Harrisburg, Pa., and worked 29 years at the USGS as a research geologist in northern Virginia and scientific publications chief in Tallahassee.

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But an interest always near and dear to my heart has been my graduate research at S.U. on stromatolites (cyanobacterial/blue-green algal mats). These mats are the first evidence of life on earth, and fossil stromatolites in Australia are dated at 3.5 billion years old.

My interests in the origin of life tied in nicely with those of member Dick Jones, so we co-led a three-term Osher course on the “Origin and Evolution of Life on Earth,” from the big bang to the sixth extinction — a very complex topic!

I found all the research and teaching so energizing and rewarding. We’ve been encouraged to offer the course again, beginning in mid-February and expanding it to 4 1/2 terms over three years.

I love to travel and experience new adventures, and Monday one-session courses offer an opportunity to share some of my adventures — three weeks in Bali, saving the leatherback sea turtles in Costa Rica, and most recently, keeper of a lighthouse on an island in northern California.

In retrospect, moving from Tallahassee back to Rochester was a great decision. In our course on the brain and aging, we learned that keeping your mind active and challenged, along with having an active social life, are associated with better mental functioning as we age.

This vital, enthusiastic, friendly learning community is definitely a wonderful path to a healthy mind and spirit.

Rochester’s first real magazine to celebrate life after 55. Don’t miss out future issues.

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55+ book Former Museum of Play CEO Pens New Book ‘South of Little Rock’ takes the reader through a small town in southern Arkansas as the community deals with segregation and social change

By Ernst Lamothe Jr.

H

istory has always served as a guiding north star in the life of George Rollie Adams. Whether it was his collegiate career, post graduate professional development or simply outside hobbies, it often struck a chord in his life. The history of America, the history of national landmarks, the history of toys and the history of social issues all served as valuable interests in his path as an author.

“History is engaging, and it’s important not only for understanding where we have been, but also where we are going, and it has so many layers that I just gravitated to it,” said Adams, a former history teacher and the former president and CEO of The Strong National Museum of Play in Rochester.

“After I retired from the museum, I thought it was time to marry some of my personal history with the history of our country.”

His new book, “South of Little Rock,” a historical novel, takes the reader through a small town in

southern Arkansas as the community deals with segregation and social change in 1957. Adams, a writer, educator, historian, and storyteller, sets his 390-page story in fictional Unionville. “South of Little Rock” unfolds amid the social unrest spurred by Gov. Orval Faubus’s decision to resist the desegregation of Little Rock Central High School, creating a national crisis and forcing President Dwight Eisenhower to send federal soldiers to Arkansas.

“When I decided to retire, one thing I didn’t want to do is retire my writing,” said Adams. “I knew that continuing to write would give me joy and I knew I had more topics I wanted to write about. I thought about writing another biography, but I didn’t want something that would take that long to research and complete.”

After brainstorming, Adams decided to do what most fiction authors have said makes for their best work: write something that you have a personal connection with. That

took him back to his childhood. He had an unique perspective of growing up in the south while spending most of his professional career in the north. With a combination of degrees in English, social science education and American history, he used his love of all three to create a book that is close to his heart because he grew up in a community similar to the one he wrote about.

“I wanted to write something that would be engaging and meaningful,” said Adams. “It had to be a novel with an important message and topic that needed to be addressed.

I wanted to address this lingering problem in our society and talk about integration directly.”

That he did.

The book centers around Sam Tate, a councilman, merchant, and widower who tries to navigate his family through the trying times, putting him at odds with the town’s newspaper editor and several outspoken opponents of integration. Tate finds surprising allies and comMarch / April 2019 - 55 PLUS

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panions, including a hard-headed woman teacher recently arrived from the north, as he works to teach his children right and wrong in a town where the likelihood of change pits its citizens against each other, and where the threat of social violence always hovers. “’South of Little Rock’ is remarkably relevant to the issues of today,” says Charles Phillips, coauthor of “What Every American Should Know about American History.”

“Through vivid descriptions and intelligent dialogue, it explores the racial tensions of the 1950s south in a way that speaks to a modern audience.”

And while writing about race can be a delicate tightrope, Adams wanted to create a nuanced book where the characters were not cliched and lazy archetypes. He said while most whites in the south in the 1950s and 1960s were either opposed to integration, or uncomfortable with it, everyone who held those views wasn’t a Ku Klux Klan member. A lot of whites who held those views were

38

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able to realize even then that their beliefs were wrong.

“Growing up in Arkansas and later teaching there, I saw and heard firsthand the arguments for and against social change, and I saw how the coming of it heightened tensions between the races and among people who held diverging views,” said Adams. “But I also saw ways in which social change brought people together, how it caused some to see in new ways, and how it gave hope to many. That’s the spirit I tried to capture in ‘South of Little Rock,’ and it’s something we all can use more of today.”

There have been plenty of books that shine a light about social justice through a fiction lens from the classic “To Kill A Mockingbird” to young adult books like “The Hate U Give,” which have turned into major motion pictures.

“We still have too many social issues in our country to remain quiet about them,” said Adams. “A book can make a difference if captures even one person’s attention, whether it’s fiction or nonfiction. And right now, we can’t have too many books attempting to do that.”

Regarding his latest venture, other authors have applauded Adams’ efforts.

“Adams creates realistic characters and dialogue like a master playwright,” says Don Daglow, Emmy-winning author of “The Fog Seller.” “His ‘South of Little Rock’ story is driven by the unique and multi-layered residents of Unionville, making its grand and important themes seem personal, and intimate.

“I think this book will make you feel all your emotions in a good way. It will make you smile, it will

make you happy, it will make you angry, it will make you think and it will give you hope,” Adams added.

A life of history and love of family After his high school teaching career, Adams worked for the American Association for State and Local History in Nashville, where he managed national museum training programs and crisscrossed the country researching potential National Historic Landmarks for the National Park Service. During that time is when he co-wrote a book detailing the history of Nashville as well as co-edited several essays on social history. Later, he served as executive director of the Buffalo and Erie County Historical Society and as director of the Louisiana State Museum in New Orleans. In conjunction with the latter position, he was also an assistant secretary for the Louisiana Department of Culture, Recreation, and Tourism.

As president and CEO of The Strong National Museum of Play in Rochester, from 1987 through 2016, Adams led the development of the world’s first collections-based history museum devoted solely to the study of play and its critical role in learning and human development and the ways in which play illuminates cultural history. While in Rochester, he founded the American Journal of Play in 2008 and was its editor-in-chief until his retirement from the museum. The publication looked at the avenue of play in learning and human development. Also during his time in Rochester, he completed a biography of General William S. Harney, one of the best known military figures in 19th century America prior to the Civil War. In addition, much like his love of history, his personal life has also been filled by a supporting and loving family.

“My wife, Diana, and I have three adopted daughters, each from a different part of the world — one from the United States, one from South Korea, and one from China,” said Adams. They are all in their 20s now and all still in the Rochester area. They have been a joy to us, but more than that, they have deepened the appreciation we already had for cultural diversity and the need for greater tolerance of individual differences and learning styles.

55+

reunion

Why Go to Your Class Reunion Reunions offer a chance to understand more about yourself and how you arrived at where you are today

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

“If they haven’t bothered to keep up all these years, why start now?”

“I’ve gained too much weight.”

“I don’t know anyone anymore.”

“I’m not married.”

“We’ve all grown apart.”

Do you have another reason to not attend your class reunion?

According to www.grouptravel. org, only 20 to 30 percent of any graduating class attends a reunion. But you have plenLty of reasons to consider it.

“Go!” urged Jay W. Pruiett, licensed clinical social worker practicing in Rochester. “Whatever you’ve been avoiding all these years you can look at with new eyes. You can revisit and see how things are different.

“It’s an opportunity. You can see how things stand up over time.”

Seen through the lens of maturity, your recollections may help you understand more about yourself and how you arrived at where you are today.

Last fall, Daniel Morris, a licensed clinical social worker practicing in Rochester, attended his 50th class reunion for Monroe High School. He feels that maturity brings a level of honesty to reunions.

“People have aged and we’re all elderly people now,” he said. “We can speak earnestly about our past. The people I felt close to then are those to whom I can speak sincerely about how things are going well, and things that are disappointing.”

Looking at former classmates as adults and not as adolescents brings “warmth and caring,” Pruiett added.

Morris enjoyed seeing people that he liked as a teen while not encumbered by the insecurities most young people experience.

“There’s little surprises that occur, like someone who says they had a crush on you when they were 13 and they never told you,” he said. “You may ask why and it’s because they were shy. It’s definitely worthwhile. If they have one next year, I’ll go again.”

In addition to reminiscing and reconnecting, reunions also offer classmates an opportunity to grieve the loss of those who have passed away.

“We evaluate what was special about our childhood and what’s good about being an adult and what you’ve learned that you can apply as an aging person,” Pruiett said. “It was a great experience.”

He thinks that those who avoid reunions assume others will treat them the same as they did in school or else they don’t feel good about themselves for some reason.

Pruiett encourages people to “develop an acceptance of yourself as a young person — what was difficult for you then. Have sympathy for yourself.”

Registered nurse Grace Harlow Klein, Ph.D., sees clients in the Rochester area. A group of her former classmates had planned a trip together which she could not join, but she did work out a weekend together with one special friend from the group.

The women share the same birthday March / April 2019 - 55 PLUS

39

and reminisced about a shared sock path,” Lambert said. “What’s meant hop that celebrated their 16th. for someone else may not be for you.

“We had seen each other a few Do you judge others harshly for not times over the years, but not a lot,” being in a relationship? It’s not a Klein said. “We had a really nice big deal for others. How would you time.” judge your best friend for not being in Not long after, Klein’s friend sud- a relationship?” denly became ill and died quickly For any questions that cause emthereafter. barrassment, turn the questions back “Take advantage of things while on the asker. To keep conversation Expert Senior Move Managers there’s still time,” she said. “You nev- running — and pleasant — Lambert er know what’s ahead. Now is the advises using broad, open-ended n Sorting & Downsizing time. When you take advantage of questions instead of those that can be those opportunities, those can be real- answered by “yes” or “no,” such as, n Move Coordination ly positive experiences and they may “What is best n Settling Your New Home not be possible later on.” about your life n Scale Floor Planning She has known friends who were now?” instead young sweethearts, drifted apart and of, “Are you n Packing & Unpacking later married after becoming reachappy with n Online Auction Service quainted at a reunion. your job?”

“There’s a chance that with It’s also imshared history, you can connect and portant to apfind interesting things and sometimes proach reunions people make a new life together from with a healthy those reunions,” Klein said. dose of perspecNicole Lambert, licensed mental tive. health counselor, operates Movement Lambert “We all Counseling Services in Rochester, have things we can work on,” LamSchedule Your FREE said that those attending a reunion bert said. “Just because someone’s life Fully Insured Consultation Today! without a partner should not feel appears perfect on the outside doesn’t and Bonded (585) 334-3544 self-conscious. mean that it is on the inside.”

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55+ names

Dee Kuhn became Mema to her grandchildren. One of her granddaughters, now 23, couldn’t say Grandma, so it came out Mema. Kuhn is flanked by grandkids Megan Adams (left) and Josiah Adams. Photo submitted.

Granny? Gramps?

Pops? Grandma?

If you want a certain grandparent name to stick, start early

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

N

ow that you’re a grandparent-to-be, what do you want the little one to call you? If you want a certain grandparent name to stick, you’d better start using it early, whether it’s Gigi, Mimi, Gran or Gram and Pops, Grandad, Papaw or Gamps.

Why not stick with the triedand-true Grandma and Grandpa?

For families in which grandchildren have come early, the family may have four living generations. To avoid confusion with the “first” grandparents, Grammy and Poppy may be in order.

For other grandparents, Grandpa and Grandma sound too old. Aren’t grandparents the folks that while away the day shucking peas on a porch swing and griping about whippersnappers on their gizmos? For these grandparents, names like Gran-

ny, Gramps, Granpappy, Pappy and Nana don’t make the cut. They consider trendier sounding names like G-ma, Nema or Glammy and G-pa, G.P. or Pop-pop.

Some blended families have more than two sets of grandparents. Using other grandparent names help avoid confusion. Or if there’s just two sets of grandparents who live close by, alternative names provide clarity and brevity, especially with longer last names. It’s just easier to say “Gram” than “Grandma Von Valkenburgen.”

Some grandparents fully intend upon the traditional names, but when the little ones begin speaking, they can’t manage saying Grandma and Grandpa. So, Gamma and Bompa it is. And sometimes, that’s what sticks.

That’s partly how Phelps resident Dee Kuhn became Mema to her grand-

children. One of her granddaughters, now 23, couldn’t say Grandma, so it came out Mema.

“I’ve read that African Americans use that for a grandparent name and she’s half African American so I think it was just something she picked up,” Kuhn said. “It stuck with my other grandkids.”

Cultural references can make a choosing grandparent name extra special.

Kuhn’s grandchildren total 26, plus two great-grandchildren. Her husband, William, goes by Grandpa or Poppy, as chosen by the children.

“You have to leave it up to the grandchild,” Kuhn said. “But what you call each other in front of them when they’re little is what they may call you, since what they hear is what they pick up.”

Thankfully, Terri Bobry of Pittsford wasn’t fussy about what her new grandchild would call her. She chose Grammy, since it sounded younger to the then 58-year-old. But Grammy proved hard to say, and for awhile, she was known as Gaggy to her second grandchild. Now both her grandchildren call her Grammy.

“I said, ‘Whatever they call me, I’ll love because I love them,’” she said. “If they call me ‘Poopyhead,’ I’ll still love it.’ It’s funny how what you think you want to be called and what you end up getting called aren’t March / April 2019 - 55 PLUS

41

always the same thing.”

Bobry said that one of her grandma friends goes by Coco, a nod to Coco Channel. Several others like Gigi. And a few like Glamma, to sound more hip.

As a reference to her Jewish heritage, Bobry’s mother-in-law, Betsy Bobry, is called Bubbe, a traditional Jewish grandparent name. Bobry’s sister-in-law, Linda Raff, liked the name, too. When she became a grandmother, she was dubbed Bubbe Red for her red hair.

“Pick something you like and that is fun and endearing,” Bobry said.

“The truth is, even when they called me Gaggy, it was said with such love and affection, it’s fine. If it’s said with love, it’s a terrific name.”

Ann Cunningham, executive director at OASIS in Rochester, said that once she had children, she asked her parents what they preferred. They were re-christened as Grammy and Pop-pop.

“Sometimes, it’s between the parents and grandparents,” Cunningham said. “Sometimes, if both want to be called Grandma, it’s ‘Grandma Marie’ to tell them apart. With some,

How to Pick a Name The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) offered the following tips for picking a grandparent name: Check with the other grandparents to make sure they haven’t already nabbed your preferred choice.

Don’t get too attached to your choice. Your grandchild might have other ideas maybe better ones and what she picks will likely be used by her siblings as well.

Keep it simple. Don’t expect a 13-month-old American baby to correctly pronounce grand’mère Think long-term. Remember that the name is going to stick around and you may not want to be Gummy when you actually are.

1.

2.

3.

4.

the names get morphed as the kids get older and they’re able to say the names.”

For more name inspiration, visit www.grandparents.com/family-and-relationships/grandparent-names for a list of grandparent

Grammy — that’s how grandchildren call Terri Bobry of Pittsford. Photo submitted. names of all sorts.

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What Illness Lands the Most of Us in the ER?

F

or seniors who often find themselves in the ER, complications from diabetes is the most common culprit, new research shows.

Not only that, these chronically ill patients remain in the hospital longer and require more treatment and resources, noted the authors of the study. It was published in the Jan. 28 issue of the Annals of Internal Medicine.

“Efforts to improve care for vulnerable older Americans should focus on enhancing delivery and decreasing utilization,” said lead author, physician Edward Castillo. He’s an associate adjunct professor at the University of California, San Diego.

“Older patients are more likely to have multiple chronic conditions, which makes emergency care increasingly complex. A better understanding of older patients opens the door for interventions in and beyond the emergency department [ED],” Castillo explained in a journal news release.

The researchers examined 2014 data on California seniors defined as frequent users, meaning they visited an ED six times or more that year.

The most common conditions that took them to an emergency room were diabetes (26 percent), chronic pulmonary disease (21.5 percent), kidney disease (19 percent), congestive heart failure (16 percent), and peripheral vascular disease, or PAD (15 percent), which is blockage or damage to veins or arteries.

Compared to less frequent ED users, frequent users were more likely to have been admitted/transferred (86 percent vs. 44.6 percent) and to discontinue care (8 percent vs. 2 percent).

Frequent users were more likely to have more than one health problem, and 20 percent of them visited three or more hospitals during the study year.

“This study shows that there are opportunities for cost savings and more targeted preventive efforts across the care continuum for older patients,” said study co-author Kelly Ko. He is director of clinical research at West Health, a nonprofit medical research organization.

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coaching Feeling Blah?

55+

Get Out of the Rut with These Tips Life coaches offer suggestions to stay upbeat

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

M

aybe you feel like life’s not as fun as it used to be.

Perhaps you dread going to work. Or your retirement hobbies bore you. If you feel stuck in a rut, here’s how to get your groove back.

“Every single one of us gets into a rut,” said Giselle Buonom, who operates a life coach business, Self Empowerment Coaching, in Rochester.

“It’s important for people to realize you’re not alone when that happens.

It’s life and it’s OK.” She believes that a rut is a mindset that slopes toward the negative instead of the positive. One important step in breaking free is to “shift your focus toward more positive things,” Buonomo said. “Start that by watching motivational TV, listening to uplifting music and watching inspirational movies. Research things you like online or at the library. Start a journal and list things you’re thankful for.”

In addition to looking at the positive aspects of life, it’s also important to try something different, even if it’s minor. If changing companies isn’t possible, for instance, a different position within the company might help. Or perhaps just relishing the job duties that appeal to you could help improve your outlook.

The same applies to a relationship. Focus on the traits you enjoy 44

55 PLUS - March / April 2019

instead of fixating on what you don’t like and look for ways that you can enjoy each other together.

For some people, boredom can form their rut.

Ginny Hronek, a certified life coach, runs Your Turn Life Coaching in Rochester.

She said that volunteering can help people accomplish something positive outside of themselves.

“Find an agency that aligns with your values,” Hronek she said.

Starting a different hobby or group can also affect change. Hronek suggested meet-up groups, visiting a museum, reading clubs, exercising or even driving home a different route.

Many people feel stuck in a rut of unending busyness. For those, Hronek suggested learning to limit commitments.

“Say, ‘Thank you for asking, but I’m not able to do it this time’ and don’t make an excuse for it,” she said.

“Sometimes we’re in a rut because we do everything for everyone else and not enough for ourselves. You can’t fully take care of others unless you take care of yourself.”

Getting out of a rut has so many possible answers that Audrey Berger, PhD, who operates Turning Point Life Coaching in Rochester, said it’s not a “one-size-fits-all” type of problem.

She advised trying to “identify what’s holding you back and why you’re feelings stuck.

There are lots of reasons why and understanding that can be an important compoBerger nent of getting unstuck.”

Some people feel overly self critical or overwhelmed by the idea of doing something different. Others may lack the resources or ability to plan.

“Change doesn’t happen to us; it comes from inside us,” Berger said.

She said that looking back at previously enjoyed interests can help: the kinds of things that are easy to look forward to.

If low self confidence is the problem, it’s important to remember that it takes time to gain competency.

“If you say, ‘I can’t,’ add ‘yet’ on the end of it,” Berger said. “Write down past successes and think about ways in which you have overcome this kind of obstacle in the past.”

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Breaking down larger goals into smaller steps can also help them seem more likely to achieve. Berger also thinks that it’s vital to reward yourself once steps are completed and to enlist the help of someone who can help with accountability.

“Keep providing yourself with doable steps, continually seeing your motivation and rewarding yourself for your accomplishments and not only what lies ahead,” Berger said.

A friend or possibly a life coach can help keep you on track.

“A neutral third party is easier because they’re not emotionally involved in it,” Berger added. “Sometimes friends and family may not be as helpful in some instances. Coaches are experienced in helping sort out these types of issues.”

Of course, some issues are bigger than feeling stuck in life. If they hearken back to deeper, life-changing issues, it may be appropriate to seek the help of a therapist.

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45

addyman’s corner

By John Addyman

It Runs in the Family Being one those geeks in the school chorus: Priceless

M

arch is “Music in Our Schools Month,” and it’s important that we all go out and celebrate it at a school near you…or far from you…it doesn’t matter.

I was one of those kids who was lucky to have teachers who saw something in me I didn’t. In high school, our music teacher, Mrs. Martell, told me to join the chorus.

“You’re a geek,” she said. “We have lots of geeks in the chorus. They look awful but sound great.”

She really didn’t say it like that, but I knew what she really meant.

Mrs. Martell also happened to direct the annual musical, and she convinced me that I needed to be part of

that, too. “You’ll be rubbing elbows with the best-looking people in school in the musical,” she promised.

And she was right. I made my debut as one of the cowhands in “Oklahoma!” and because I was little and geeky and thrilled in the essence of twerpitude, I had a big moment in the play.

Right before the musical number, “The Cowman and the Farmer Should be Friends,” there’s supposed to be a tussle on stage. And with Mrs. Martell’s artful directing, somebody had to get tossed from stage right to stage left.

Me. In rehearsals, I kind of got rolled across the stage, like Apollodorus un-

furling the rug with Cleopatra in it before Caesar.

But when we got to dress rehearsal, the guys who had been rolling me — some of them football players — either get nervous or athletic, and I was suddenly airborne on the toss. For the next three performances, I was propelled to a higher altitude each time, and I had the splinters and bruises to prove it as the guys started to get interested in the geek-tossing world record.

Our choir director was very busy, and rehearsals often started late. I was a tenor, and as we waited for Mrs. Martell, we’d start singing the doo-wop songs of the day. “I Wonder Why” by Dion and the Belmonts

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was a favorite because if one guy started the song, we immediately broke off into the other choral parts, and I could easily do the falsetto. We weren’t singing under a street lamp in South Philly – we were in a corner of the cinder block choral music room — but the sound was good. And the girls liked to hear us go off like that. Those were great, brief moments.

Mrs. Martell also gave me one of the purest compliments I ever got.

“You’ve got a perfect tonal ear,” she told me. And after she explained what it meant — if I heard a tone I could replicate it precisely — I felt pretty good about myself. But then I’d think about “The Cowman and the Farmer Should Be Friends” experience and the compliment sort of faded away.

I sang in a college choir but got unfriended pretty significantly when I got mumps and had to stay away from everybody for two weeks. I remember singing my behind off in a Christmas concert and loving it, but I was only at that college for three semesters.

As life wore on, I met a girl who can’t sing at all — that doesn’t prevent her from trying — and we had four kids, all of whom have beautiful

voices. Guess who wears the genes in my family…

My kids were cantors at Mass, and sang in their high school choruses and choirs and in musicals.

One of the best moments in this dad’s life was listening to my oldest daughter, Amy, sing “I Feel Pretty” from “West Side Story “and “One Hand, One Heart” on stage and feeling the audience around me hang on her every note and syllable.

My middle daughter, Elisabeth, sang a duet with her brother, Mike, in a school recital. They stood alone and beautifully voiced “A Whole New World,” and the kids in the audience and onstage cheered.

And my youngest daughter, Mary Kate, came to life in church choir, even though she protested doing it. She has the incredible ability of listening to a song twice and knowing all the words, and remembering them forever.

Now it’s my grandkids’ turn, with my granddaughter, Lucie, the eighth-grader, making her second appearance on stage in a musical and I couldn’t wait to hear her. My grandson Jaden helps me with my job sometimes, and lately, he’s tak-

en to singing in the back seat while we’re traveling. I smile every time he lets loose. Jaden doesn’t think about singing, it just comes out of him. He doesn’t have his mother’s pitch, but he sure has her volume.

Grandson number two, Jeremy, inherited Amy’s voice and the outgoing personality of his dad, Chad.

Amy has chronicled Jer’s bursting into song — and dance — on any significant occasion. We can’t wait to see what he’ll do in middle school and high school.

Each one of those moments is so special, so memorable, and they wouldn’t have been there if our schools hadn’t found and kept gifted music teachers. I worry about schools that have special music programs today, wondering if they’ll survive when the inevitable cost-cutting really starts in earnest as school enrollment continues to drop in our area.

The day is coming.

That would be a shame. I know that somewhere, out there, there’s another geeky guy who could remain a geek forever if he never gets the chance to get tossed across the stage in “Oklahoma!”

Carolyn Stiffler

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long-term care

By Susan Suben

Latest Caregiving Statistics

W

Study: Seven out of 10 people retiring at 65 will require long-term care at some point

e’ve often heard the expression, “It takes a village to raise a family.”

When it comes to caregiving, it takes a village to care for a family. Caregiving is all-encompassing financially, physically and socially. Caregivers, community resources, faith organizations, home health care agencies, assisted living facilities, nursing homes and government programs, all feel the impact of providing care for someone dealing with a long-term illness. The need for longterm care (LTC) is a risk that requires a plan to surround ourselves with a reliable support system that is not strained beyond its limits.

Each year, Genworth, a financial company based in Virginia, produces a study titled “Beyond Dollars — How Caregiving Impacts Families, Communities and Society.” According to the findings of the 2018 study, “every day until 2030, 10,000 baby boomers a day will turn 65 and seven out of 10 of them will require longterm care at some point.”

The study’s research shows that 58 percent of caregivers are between the ages of 25-54, with an average age of 47 vs. 53 in 2010. It also shows that 51 percent are more likely to be the adult child of the care recipient.

Interestingly, care recipients under the age of 65 have increased between 2010 and 2018. What does this mean? A caregiving event is unpredictable and care recipients are not necessarily aged to need LTC. This supports the notion that you are never too young to have a LTC plan.

As stated in the study, the findings focus on five key insights: • Most people are in denial about the potential need for care • Caregiving can negatively impact health and well-being • Caregivers’ savings and retirement funds are at risk

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• Caregivers’ careers and livelihoods are impacted by providing care • Planning helps to mitigate stress and negative impacts

Denial

If you are currently healthy and active, you do not think about needing care. I can’t begin to tell you how many times over the last 24 years I heard clients say, “I can’t deal with planning right now” or “I’ll just kill myself.” Genworth’s “Cost of Care Companion Study,” of Sept. 1-4, 2017, states that six out of 10 are convinced the need for care will never happen to them and “fewer than a quarter had made plans to cover this type of situation.” The end result of denial can be a crisis situation. Individuals who might eventually need care and those around them often have to scramble to put a plan in place. Why wait?

Negative Impact on Well-Being

Having taken care of both my parents and by arranging care management plans for my clients, I understand the negative impact caregiving can have on caregivers. Depression, stress, anger, and frustration are just a few of the emotions caregivers feel, in addition to reduced social connection to family and friends. According to the Genworth study, 46 percent of caregivers said the LTC event negatively affected their health and well-being and 50 percent report having less time for their spouse or partner, their children and themselves.

Loss of Income / Secure Retirement

When I was taking care of my mom, I traveled to NYC often. I paid for transportation, necessities for her daily living and what I call her happiness items. However, I could not work while I was away which put many of my projects on hold. Caregivers gen-

erally experience a loss of income and can miss out on career advancement opportunities due to absence at work in order to attend to their loved one.

Caregivers estimate “that they pay, on average, a total of about $10,400 in out-of-pocket expenses.”

Most caregivers do not “anticipate or plan for this expenditure…and in many cases are cutting back on personal spending and savings…jeopardizing their own financial futures.”

The Genworth study further states that 70 percent of caregivers missed time from work and 46 percent of caregivers had to work fewer hours. The study states: A LTC event “lasts an average of three years… that’s potentially a full year’s worth of income.”

Plan

Your plan for LTC will help those around you deal more easily with the consequences of a potential illness.

Don’t be in denial. A LTC event is generally unexpected. Two out of three people in Genworth’s study wished they had taken steps sooner.

Planning may involve purchasing a LTC insurance policy or seeking the advice of an attorney or a financial planner. It may also involve having “the conversation” with your family outlining how you would like to be taken care of and what funds would be available for your care. The strategy that works best for you will put you in a position of control over your life and be an act of kindness for your caregivers.

Susan Suben, MS, CSA, is president of Long Term Care Associates, Inc. and Elder Care Planning. She is a consultant for Canandaigua National Bank & Trust Company. She can be reached at 800-422-2655 or by email at susansuben@31greenbush.com.

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q&a

By Ernst Lamothe Jr.

Kevin Horey, 55

Chairman gearing up for the upcoming KitchenAid Senior PGA Championship What is your role in the 2019 KitchenAid Senior PGA Championship?

I lead an executive committee dedicated to providing a world-class experience for fans and all attendees.

I will also help oversee 1,600 volunteers who are instrumental in making this championship a success and run the grounds throughout tournament week. There are so many aspects to putting on a tournament like this from transportation, where we have to organize a fleet of vehicles, to crowd control, to people who are there to help spot the golf balls.

What do you enjoy about Oak Hill?

I have been a member of Oak Hill Country Club since 1993 and served on the board of governors from 2008-13. We have hosted some incredible tournaments since I have been a member. The 1995 Ryder Cup was one of my favorite events — to see the energy and competitiveness of the players was amazing. To see some great golfers compete over four days right in our area was truly special at the PGA Championship in 2003 and 2013. This year will be the sixth major PGA of America event to be staged at Oak Hill. We are very fortunate to have hosted all these events.

I have worked every single event in Oak Hill since that 1995 Ryder Cup in some volunteer capacity because I enjoy it. I was even a caddie in the 1980 PGA Championship when I was still in high school.

Why do you think it’s important for Rochester to host these kinds of events?

In Rochester, we don’t have any professional sports anymore. These tournaments are what put Rochester

on the major-sporting map. Why not feature one of the most beautiful golf courses in the world to everyone. Our course was ranked No. 22 in Golf Digest and it has been called an incredibly hard, but fair course. It is highly regarded and extremely challenging.

Another thing that I think makes Oak Hill so special is the membership. We would not be able to achieve this kind of success and run these tournaments without all the diligent work of everyone involved. This is one of the most historic and prestigious events in senior golf. You will have more than 150 senior professional golfers in the world competing. The size and scope of this event is incredible. It’s expected to bring the strongest field in senior golf and a variety of family-friendly fan experiences to the area. We started tickets sales as early as 2017.

What do you enjoy about the Rochester area?

I’ve pretty much lived here all my life, other than the years I spent in New York City. This is a great place to raise a family and the quality of life is fantastic. I worked at Xerox for more than 30 years, most recently serving as the vice president of sales, east region, in production color. We have so many great amenities. The school system in the Rochester area is generally good. You have an opportunity to travel whether that is near the Finger Lakes or the Canadian border. We do have four seasons here. If you can handle the snow, and of course there is a lot of it, then you will absolutely enjoy living here. My wife, Karen, and I love Rochester and raised our three children, Ryan (25), Meaghan (23) and Colin (18), here.

Kevin Horey, 55-year-old resident of Pittsford, serves as general chairman for the 2019 KitchenAid Senior PGA Championship on May 21-26 at Oak Hill Country Club. As general chairman, he is an ambassador for one of the PGA’s most historic and prestigious major championships.

Tell me something about yourself that people might not know?

My kids were competitive swimmers. I just had a love for the sport, so I was a deck referee for 15 years as part of USA Swimming. I also enjoy giving back to the community and it was a great way to support my kids as well.

What advice do you have for seniors?

I just barely made the cut to be a senior so I guess once I have some years in, I might have better advice. Well, I know all my kids will be officially out of the house soon so that is the time when my wife and I hope to go traveling more. I think traveling and just keeping active is the key to life at any age.

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