August 2015

AUGUST 2015

local business matters PAISLEE BOUTIQUE

special section

RWM’S ULTIMATE FASHION EXPO

The Fashionable Man ADRIAN JULES

leading woman

KRISTINE IANNAZZI

Diane Hardgrove FINDING BEAUTY IN EVERYONE

ROCHESTERWOMANMAG.COM :: AUGUST 2015

FOR ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU ARE...ROCHESTER WOMAN

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Out & About 7 Platter Chatter: Buta Pub

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The Fashionable Man 10 In Her Own Words 12 Local Business Matters:Paislee Boutique

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Fashion Forward 16

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Fashion Show & Expo Insert

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Cover Story: Diane Hardgrove

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Tips for Women 42 Special Feature: Asthetix 44 Leading Woman:Kristine Iannazzi

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RW Inspire 49 Special Feature: Women’s Hall of Fame

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Menopause Moment 54 Snap Out of It 56 Positive Life/Positive Mind 58 Everyday Explorations 61 Healthy Woman 62 Fitness 64

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ADVERTORIAL

for County Executive I am excited about our county’s future and the opportunity to lead us in a new direction. I believe in the people of our county and their desire to see change. We can do better. We must do better.

My activism and desire to help people had its roots in our country’s civil rights movement. I sat in at lunch counters in Florida and Louisiana early on. That began my fight for equal and fair treatment for all our people.

Now I want to transform Monroe County into the place where everyone has equal opportunities for good jobs. I want to grow our jobs. Our children should neither be unemployed, nor forced to leave home to find the best jobs. It was not always so.

Years ago, people moved here to get the best jobs.

Now I want to move Monroe County in a new and better direction.

My friends it is time for a change. For over a decade my opponent has walked in lockstep with the current administration.

We cannot afford to continue a culture in county government that wastes our precious tax dollars through mismanagement, pay-to-play politics, and corruption.

We need real change with vision, change that restores fiscal integrity and stability in this county, and ethics to county government operations.

I bring a new vision, strong management and integrity that will make sure this happens. We can improve services and opportunities without raising the tax rate by making sure we watch every dollar and have the right priorities.

There is a lot at stake—we need a fresh start instead of the same old tired way. By prioritizing the needs of families, like improving and expanding childcare, not cutting it, we can empower people to raise their families with dignity, and put children on the path to success in school. This type of smart investment will save millions by improving graduation rates, reducing unemployment for young adults, and ending the school to prison pipeline—a seven to one savings for taxpayers. The benefits to the bottom line, to education, and to quality of life speak for themselves.

We need to bring more industry into the county, create good jobs, promote job training that matches existing job opportunities, improve the infrastructure, protect our incredible environment, and use responsible competitive bidding for contracts rather than enriching a select few.

Monroe County is replete with great resources.

LETTER FROM THE

OUR TEAM...

publishers but after a frustrating search for her own wedding gown, she decided to open a third business, Silk, which features elegant one-of-a-kind bridal wear. This young entrepreneur is quickly making a name for herself in Rochester. Read her story on page [14].

“Clothes aren’t going to change the world, the women who wear them will” - Anne Klein As we put together this year’s fashion issue, we ask the question: Is it better to be fashionable or stylish? Or does it really matter? Edna Woolman, former editorin-chief of Vogue, once said that fashion can be bought, but style one must possess.

If you are fashionable then you tend to select your wardrobe based on the latest trends, always keeping up with what’s hot and popular. A stylish woman, on the other hand, selects her wardrobe based on her personality, regardless of what is popular. She may also take what is popular or trendy and turn it into a reflection of who she is. So which one are you?

Our cover woman this month is both fashionable and stylish — and looks good in almost anything she wears, including a crown. We are, of course, talking about local pageant-winning beauty queen Diane Hardgrove. Diane possesses both physical and internal beauty. The 38-yearold with cover-model looks stands a tall 5’11,” but she emphasizes that it’s what’s inside that counts; everything else is secondary. When you meet her, it quickly becomes evident that this attitude comes naturally to her. Diane is now the executive director of the Mrs. New York America pageant and spends her time recruiting married New York Women to compete in the state-based pageant. Read her story on page [34].

Local boutique owner Fatima Bayram took over the family business, Thimble Tailor, when she was just 20 years old.

Since then, she has opened her own women’s clothing boutique, Paislee Boutique. Those two businesses alone should be enough to keep anyone busy,

Another young successful fashion entrepreneur is Kristine Iannazzi. Kristine is the owner of Embrasse-Moi in Pittsford.

She started the business seven years ago at just 22 years old. Kristine is living her professional dream and loves working with and helping customers, which is why she has developed such a loyal customer base. Read her story on page [46].

Ladies, and gentlemen, too, mark your calendars for RWM’s Ultimate Fashion Show and Expo on Thursday, Aug 27.

The community center at Victory Baptist Church will host our biggest fashion show of the year, featuring the hottest styles from local designers, boutiques, stores and more! Come enjoy Paislee Boutique, Embrasse-Moi, Joevals Formalwear, Adrian Jules, Vittorio’s Menswear, Gracious Soul Boutique, Panache Vintage & Finer Consignment, Abigail Riggs Collection, Ruffles Boutique, Green Orchyd, Reckless Necklace, Stellina Designs, Eye2Eye Optical, Coffee Connection, She Says So, Evie Apparel, and more. Plus, Allora Salon & Spa, Shear Ego and Bellezza Salon will be creating our hair styles for the evening as style rocks the runway. The fashions will be presented by models from the Mary Therese Friel Agency, plus Jill Burress, our very own August cover girl Diane Hardgrove, the Mrs. New York pageant ladies, plus more local women of all ages.

There will be more than 75 vendors, food, wine and beverage sampling, and goody bags courtesy of Waterloo Premium Outlets for the first 250 attendees. The best part is it is all FREE to attend and shop until you drop!

Summer is winding down, so go out and enjoy our incredible August weather.

Don’t forget to take RWM with you as you head to the beach, park or wherever your vacation takes you.

Kelly & Barb ON OUR COVER

Diane Hardgrove, models a stunning wedding gown designed by Silk Boutique. Makeup by Joan E. Lincoln, and hair by Kevin Photography by Todd Elliott and Studio E on location at.The Landmark View.

OUR TEAM...

PUBLISHERS Kelly Breuer Barbara McSpadden EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Barbara McSpadden

CREATIVE DIRECTOR/DESIGNER Kelly Breuer

PHOTOGRAPHY Jennifer Cronin Todd Elliott Gilmore Hayle Brandon Vick

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Jill Burress Vanessa Cheeks Katie DeTar Laura DiCaprio Lester Gale Jessica Gaspar Alyssa Jackson Cassandra Kubit Joan E. Lincoln Margaret Madigan Sraddha Pradivadi Julia Rabkin Peter Roberti Emily Smaczniak Sofia Tokar Elizabeth Winslow-D’Amico James Woods, MD

FOR ADVERTISING INFORMATION:

Please contact sales@rochesterwomanmag.com or call 585.727.9120

ADVERTISE WITH US...

Unlike any other publication in the Rochester area, our feature articles address major topics that interest local women.

Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, home matters, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local Rochester women.

The print magazines are distributed locally in over 350 locations and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge.

CONTACT OUR HOME OFFICE 585.727.9120 PO Box 90798 I Rochester, NY 14609 info@rochesterwomanmag.com DOWNLOAD OUR MEDIA KIT AT www.rochesterwomanmag.com The magazine is published 12 times a year by Rochester Woman Magazine, llc. PO Box 90798, Rochester NY 14609.

Copyright © 2014 Rochester Woman Magazine, llc.

No part of this magazine may be reproduced or republished without the consent of the publishers.

Rochester Woman Magazine is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork.

All such submissions become the property of Rochester Woman Magazine, llc. and will not be returned.

o&A MOVIES The Man From U.N.C.L.E. - 8/14 Set against the backdrop of the early 1960s, at the height of the Cold War, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. centers on CIA agent Solo and KGB agent Kuryakin. Forced to put aside longstanding hostilities, the two team up on a joint mission to stop a mysterious international criminal organization, which is bent on destabilizing the fragile balance of power through the proliferation of nuclear weapons and technology.

Agent 47 - 8/21 An elite assassin is genetically engineered from conception to be the perfect killing machine. He is the culmination of decades of research and forty-six earlier Agent clones -- endowing him with unprecedented strength, speed, stamina and intelligence. His latest target is a mega-corporation that plans to unlock the secret of Agent 47’s past to create an army of killers whose powers surpass even his own.

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ARTRAGEOUS AFFAIR 2015 – HOW DO YOU REDEFINE PINK?

The Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester invites you to kick off Breast Cancer Awareness Month early at their annual Pink Ribbon Breast Cancer Gala on September 26th at the Holiday Inn Downtown, formerly the Rochester Plaza Hotel (pink tie optional). The evening begins with a pink champagne toast as guests arrive at the ballroom to bid on original artwork donated by many of the area’s talented artists, plus gift certificates and baskets, sports packages, and other items offered in the live and silent auctions. Guests will also enjoy an elegant dinner followed by dancing to music by Gap Mangione.

You can help by donating a piece of artwork, gift card or other auction item; sponsoring and/or attending the gala; advertising in the program book; or volunteering your time to help out at the event. Donating artists will be invited to attend a special preview party a few weeks before the gala where all of the donated artwork will be displayed.

Every dollar raised at this event stays in our local community to benefit the lives of those touched by breast cancer.

For more information, please call 473-8177, email cindy@bccr.org or visit www.bccr.org.

ANNUAL SUSAN B. ANTHONY FESTIVAL SET FOR AUGUST 16

Regression - 8/28 Minnesota, 1990. Detective Bruce Kenner (Ethan Hawke) investigates the case of young Angela (Emma Watson), who accuses her father, John Gray (David Dencik), of an unspeakable crime. When John unexpectedly and without recollection admits guilt, renowned psychologist Dr. Raines (David Thewlis) is brought in to help him relive his memories and what they discover unmasks a horrifying nationwide mystery.

Jane Got a Gun - 9/4 Jane Got a Gun centers on Jane Hammond (Natalie Portman), who has built a new life with her husband Bill “Ham” Hammond (Noah Emmerich) after being tormented by the ultraviolent Bishop Boys outlaw gang. She finds herself in the gang’s cross-hairs once again when Ham stumbles home riddled with bullets after dueling with the Boys and their relentless mastermind Colin (Ewan McGregor).

The 2015 Susan B. Anthony Festival will take place on Sunday, August 16, from 1:00 pm to 4:00 pm in the Susan B. Anthony Square Park between Madison & King Streets.

This annual event celebrates the anniversary of the ratification of the 19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, granting women throughout the country the right to vote. The amendment is commonly known as the “Susan B. Anthony Amendment”.

Live music and entertainment will be provided throughout the afternoon in the park.

Food vendors and unique artisans will also be on hand. Free walking tours of this 19th century Historic Preservation District will also be offered, highlighting recent neighborhood developments including the Carriage Factory Apartments and public art murals.

Tours of the Susan B. Anthony House will be available at a discounted cost from 11:00 am to 5:00 pm on Festival day.

This event is presented by the Susan B. Anthony Neighborhood Association and the National Susan B. Anthony Museum & House. “This year’s festival kicks off an exciting time for the Museum with women’s suffrage centennials upcoming in 2017 for New York State and 2020 nationally,” said Museum President & CEO Deborah L. Hughes. “With the national spotlight on this incredibly important period of our history, we continue our mission to inspire and challenge individuals to make a positive difference in their lives and communities.”

Dawn Noto, president of the Susan B. Anthony Neighborhood Association, said, “The Susan B. Anthony Festival will celebrate the 95th anniversary of the vote this year. We are thrilled to showcase our community’s growth each year at this important celebration.”

chatter ::PLATTER

ButaPub

American pub, Asian inspiration

::PLATTER

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BY SOFIA TOKAR | PHOTOS BY BRANDON VICK ButaPub bills itself as “nothing but a pub,” yet it’s more than an Asian-fusion gastropub.

Much more.

The team there comprises Owner and Chef Asa Mott, Asa’s father and Co-Owner Ed Mott, General Manager and Event Coordinator Evan Pierce, and Bar Manager Nate Nickens. Together, they are revitalizing The Historic German House Auditorium and Events Center, which houses the restaurant. The goal? To make The German House a vibrant and eclectic hub that reflects the South Wedge neighborhood’s diversity.

“The South Wedge is the best place in Rochester to start a business,” says Pierce. In addition to support from the community and the Business Association of the South Wedge Area, “we’ve partnered with amazing local vendors and organizations.” Blynn Nelson designed the restaurant’s stylish and modern interior while Rochester artist St. Monci’s artwork graces the walls.

ButaPub’s bread comes from Dragon Sweetie, a café and bakery down the street. The bánh mì, or Vietnamese baguette, from there is perfectly crusty on the outside, fluffy on the inside. Chef Mott then uses this wonder of wheat to create his caramel-braised pork belly bánh mì sandwich, filled with pork belly, pâté, pickled carrot and daikon, cucumber, jalapeño, and cilantro, all served alongside house-sliced potato chips. If I could only eat one sandwich for the rest of my life, this would be it.

Some of the best dishes at ButaPub are pig-based (try the pork belly steam buns; if you’re feeling adventurous, there’s even half a roasted pig head on the menu). No surprise then, that the restaurant’s name incorporates the Japanese word for “pig” (“buta”).

Mott sources his pork—like many of his other ingredients—locally. If pork is not your jam, you still have plenty of options. Consider ordering the Korean fried chicken (half a bird or whole), seasoned with gochujang (hot pepper paste), fried to crispy-skinned perfection, and served with rice wine pickles, homemade kimchi, and ginger rice. If you like flavorful, juicy chicken, this is the bird for you.

Prefer the no-meat route? “We’ve recently expanded the menu to include more vegetarian, vegan, and gluten-free items,” explains Pierce.

These items do not disappoint. The Sichuan-style broccolini—made with garlic, chiles, tofu, and toasted sesame seed—packs a potent flavor punch. Don’t care for spice, but want loads of flavor? Enjoy the local kale salad, featuring French breakfast radish, local feta, avocado dressing, heirloom tomato, and almond granola. The tomatoes and kale come from Bolton Farms in Hilton, while Pachamama Farm in Shortsville supplies the radishes.

Or get the homemade noodles. Pierce is happy to report that, after experimenting with several different diameters and shapes, the team has “nailed the noodle.”

Complementing the menu are curated craft cocktails and brews. Bar Manager Nickens’ goal with the former is a “nice flavor profile, nothing that’s over people’s heads, but that matches the food.” The drinks, such as the bourbon-based Brown Derby or the Watermelon and Mint Margarita, stand up admirably to Chef Mott’s spices and seasoning.

Having worked with him previously, Nickens is familiar with Mott’s style. “Plus, we’re working from the same seasonal inventory. I get my fresh fruit and produce from his cooler.”

As for the beer: “We only have 12 lines, so I’m selective about what goes on draft.”

That means almost entirely local craft brews and New York state beers, such as Galaxy, Abandon, Ommegang, Three Heads, Swiftwater, and more. Nickens constantly rotates taps. “When a keg kicks, something new comes online.”

Variety is the spice of life at ButaPub, and the team is open-minded, especially when it comes to event programming. Pierce and Nickens have tag-teamed bringing weekly entertainment and one-off affairs to the restaurant and The German House’s auditorium.

In addition to live music, karaoke, and comedy, ButaPub features “Wings and Whiskey” specials on Wednesdays, trivia nights on Thursdays, and various monthly programs, like “Pups and Pils” nights. Meanwhile, the upstairs auditorium is ideal for concerts, weddings, and dancing, including salsa and swing.

“We have a diverse crowd of patrons on any given day,” says Pierce—and ButaPub aims to please. Prefer dining al fresco to karaoke? You’re in luck. The restaurant recently opened a fenced-in patio that seats nearly 40 people.

Located in The Historic German House, 315 Gregory Street, Rochester, NY 14620.

585-563-6241. www.butapub.com

ROCHESTERWOMANMAG.COM :: AUGUST 2015

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man ::SHIFT+CONTROL :FASHIONABLE

THE FASHIONABLE MAN: Rules for Professional Dress

BY PETER E. ROBERTI Here it is, the basis of what men in fashion have been waiting for for years.

As we browse the magazine rack, there are women’s fashion magazines everywhere with very few fashion resources for men. With the collective fashion expertise here at Adrian Jules, we are honored to share insight into The Fashionable Man. The years of experience that we have accumulated as a team has inspired us to put together some of the most important rules for professional dress so that you can look and feel your best.

One essential element to think about is that every day you are making an impression on someone. You are giving an impression right now as you sit here and read this article. It is inevitable that clothing makes an impression on people. The reason it does this is because clothes cover 90% of your body.

What you don’t realize is that people will make 10 judgments on you before you even get the chance to open your mouth. For sure, they will form an opinion about your education, ethical standards, social status, work ethic, trustworthiness, success, income bracket and approachability. Outsiders do not know the house you live in or the car that you drive…but what they do know is your appearance as you approach them. They only see you and your clothing. So, let your clothing help you form admirable traits about yourself since people will form opinions anyway. Let it also help you get your foot into the door. After that, the rest is up to you.

Think about your body type. Are you tall, lean, stocky, muscular? Or, maybe you are vertically challenged? This is when choosing a pattern becomes essential. The pattern you put on your body should camouflage your faults and accentuate your strengths. Having your clothing tailored to fit you properly will make you feel remarkable every time you dress. Dress age-appropriate. Even if you are a very lean 50-year-old and in great shape, I recommend that you shy away from the temptation of wearing clothing that is best suited for a 20-year-old. Your clothes should always be pressed, cleaned, and neat. This is because, when you look great, you feel great.

Your wardrobe should be considered an investment in you. You will look and feel better if you dress in clothing that is in style. However, do not be quick to jump on the fashion bandwagon. Consider investing in some highquality, well-fitting, timeless garments that will last more than one season.

Purge clothing that is dated, even though it may still be in wearable shape.

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Create seasonal wardrobes – one for spring and summer and the other for fall and winter. You can store the alternative wardrobe for the season. This helps your wardrobe last twice as long while making you feel like you have brand new clothes when you pull your wardrobe out for the next season. You will feel cooler and more comfortable in lighter weight clothing during the warmer seasons.

And, during the winter, your flannels will provide a warm, cozy feel while taking the chill out of the winter—especially when temperatures are frigid.

FASHION FORECAST:

Trimmer, thinner silhouettes are trending today – in suits, shirts, and slacks. However, trimmer does not always mean they need to be tightfitting. Furthermore, your coat should have a narrow shoulder with smaller lapels and a higher gorge. The length of the coat should also be a little shorter than seen in previous seasons. The younger you are the shorter the coat. Although, think about your age and the reason you are wearing the clothes.

Fall is here, so think about adding an outer coat to your wardrobe. Topcoat length should fall at your knees for a more corporate look. A car coat should fall at the middle of your thighs. It is acceptable for business attire, but it should not be worn to a black tie event. Lastly, the pea coat offers a more youthful, hip look. Try experimenting with custom. Mix and match patterns of your pea coat to your liking.

This season, the classic suit is shown with two-button notch lapels three inches wide with side vents and slanted or straight pockets. You will also see doublebreasted coats and vests coming back into the fashion mix. Slacks are trim with no pleats and plain bottoms. You may see a single pleat with a cuff at the bottom. The bottom of the pants is 16 inches wide. Shirts are trim as well.

Shoes trending this season are European hip. Shades of browns are popular since they are versatile with any wardrobe. Pocket squares are also very important because they pull your clothing together, especially if you are lacking a tie. The metals or color of cufflinks, watch, and belt buckle should all match.

Peter E. Roberti is president of detail and a wardrobe consultant at Adrian Jules Custom Clothiers. The wardrobe consultants at Adrian Jules are always happy to offer wardrobe suggestions and advice. Please call 585-381-1111 or email at info@adrianjules.com.

canines &cocktails

RWM presents

A FIRST RESPONDERS AND ANIMAL RESCUE BACHELOR/BACHELORETTE CHARITY AUCTION

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 15TH 5:OO-10:00PM STRATHALLAN ROOFTOP LOUNGE Proceeds to benefit BOHA & Verona Street Animal Shelter

For more information, contact kelly@rochesterwomanmag.com or szimmerman@boha.info

This walk gets us to the finish line faster.

When you walk and fundraise in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk, you help the American Cancer Society make the greatest impact and save more lives in more communities, through groundbreaking research and programs like clinical trials matching and free rides to treatment.

Walk with us, because you can help us finish the fight.

MakingStridesWalk.org/rochester Making Strides Against Breast Cancer of Rochester, NY October 18, 2015 Frontier Field

Š 2014 American Cancer Society, Inc.

words ::IN HER OWN PHOTOS AND ARTICLE BY JULIA RABKIN

I was born in Moscow before moving to Saratoga Springs at six-years old. I moved to Rochester, New York in 7th grade and the move most certainly played a role in my future desire of becoming a photographer, even if I didn’t know it back then. I remember my first trip to the George Eastman House and International Museum of Photography and Film. Little did I know that later in life I would return to the George Eastman House as a professional photographer to shoot one of my most iconic and stunning series: “Flapper Girl.”

I had already explored a lot of different avenues in the photography world before Flapper Girl was possible; long before my love for fashion photography had blossomed into what it is today.

I was working as a music photographer at Water Street Music Hall when I got my first big break. Honestly, big can’t do justice to just how significant the opportunity was. In 2008, I was asked to be Bill Clinton’s personal photographer for the day at a Hillary campaign event at Water Street. The news hit me like a cold wave, almost knocking me off my feet and sending shivers across my body. The mixture of excitement and nerves coursed through my very being, a sensation I loved and feared, but hoped to feel again.

Meeting Bill Clinton was a moment I will never forget. He is the only person I have ever met who can make you feel alone in his presence, even in a room full of people.

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A CAREER IN Throughout the evening, I photographed him alongside the mayor, police commissioner, and every other VIP invite from the Rochester community. At the end of the night, Mr. Clinton looked over to me and said that I was the only one that didn’t get a photo with him. He called me over for a photograph and I tripped over my cords as I made my way to the former president. He caught me before falling flat on my face. I was blushing so intensely that I may have invented a whole new shade of red.

Being able to travel for photography was also a dream come true. I was always curious to see the world, and to do it through the lens is a beautiful thing.

My first big trip as a photographer brought me through Mississippi with Dr. Daniel Beaumont from the University of Rochester. He was doing research for his book, Preachin’ the Blues: The Life and Times of Son House, and I was there to document the experience. The trip taught me a lot about being ready to capture anything, an experience much different from a studio shoot.

My next big experience on the road as a photographer took place in Buenos Aires, Argentina. A company that produces paper bags hired me to work on their rebranding campaign. The real adventure took place as I headed toward a wealthy neighborhood of Argentina’s capital city in the back of a cab. A truck cut us off, kicking up dust and stones as he swerved across two lanes of traffic.

Our cabbie began to shout, waving his hand out the window. His gestures caught the eye of the maniac trucker, causing him to slam on his brakes. He

julia rabkin

::IN HER OWN WORDS

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stopped the truck in our path, blocking two lanes of traffic in the process.

He jumped down to the street and came running over to the taxi screaming, his two balled fists ready for action. I trembled in the back seat as our cabbie pulled a machete from under the passenger seat and began waving it out the window to the dismay of the trucker. Luckily, the trucker retreated as he wasn’t armed with weaponry, and the cabbie turned toward us with a casual smile and said, “You can’t drive anywhere these days.”

I arrived at the shoot shaken from the experience in the cab, but ready to impress my new clients. The instructions given to me were minimal. In fact, they just handed me a bunch of paper bags with names like Gucci and Audi decoratively printed across them and told me to get to work. The looks on their faces were priceless as I took the tables from the deck area and put them in the pool while filling their fancy paper bags with rocks. I placed the bags on the sunken tables to make the bags look as if they were on a floating platform.

I hung the other bags from tropical plants around the pool to give a nice, green touch to the backdrop. I fired away, taking shot after shot as the company reps watched on with a look of curious intrigue. The end result was brilliant and the clients were delighted with how the photos turned out.

All of these different experiences pushed me down a more focused path to where I stand today. Now, fashion photography is my true passion and the focus that I plan to pursue for years to come. I have always loved clothing and

fashion and even dabbled in modeling before focusing more on being behind the camera.

I have a very active mind. Thoughts come and go at times too fast to comprehend. But my mind becomes still when the camera is in my hands and the model in my frame. It is a calming, serene experience and to capture the beauty of it all is inspiring. Now, as I finish my final year of Advertising Photography at RIT, I look forward to a bright and exciting future as a fashion photographer. Where it will take me I still don’t know, but that is hardly a concern at the moment. To be passionate about what I am doing in life is a dream come true and that, to me, is the most important thing.

Julia Rabkin is a fashion photographer in Rochester. She is completing her final year of Advertising Photography at RIT and has just recently accepted a position as creative director of “Prolific Quarterly Magazine”.

CREDITS:

Models: Jess San Giacomo, Brittany Autumn Hatch, Leann Overmyer, Molly McGuire, Rae White (Elite Model Management, Toronto Division), Skylar Betts, Danielle Kohler, Emily Bukowski, Kelsey Collins, Paulina Swan, Sarah Jean Hance, Jessieka Martinez-Soto, Nicole Cunniff, Lexi Anczok Make up artists: Nicole L. Barry, Katie Kubacki, Elizabeth Rhodes, Laurie Berry, Nikki Rogers Hair Stylists: Rivajeta Rene, Katie Kubacki, Nicole L. Barry ROCHESTERWOMANMAG.COM :: AUGUST 2015

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danielle DOWNEY

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paislee boutique

::LOCAL BUSINESS MATTERS

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FASHION THROUGH LOCAL

For local boutique owner Fatima Bayram, fashion runs in her genes.

Her father started Thimble Tailor, located in the Brighton Tops Plaza ,in 1989. Bayram grew up around patterns, sewing and fashion.

to each bride, something that she wanted to experience when she was going through her wedding. Bayram tailors the dresses bought at Silk Bridal Boutique herself to ensure that the dress is truly the bride’s, from the way it looks to the way it feels on. “When I pick out pieces I pay attention to the fit and make sure it compliments and flatters the average woman,” she said.

This ultimately led her to take over the family business when she was 20 years old after attending two years of college at the Genesee Community College for fashion merchandising. Approximately five years ago, she opened Paislee Boutique, which sits in front of Thimble Tailor.

Another thing she keeps in mind when selecting these dresses at tradeshows is the price. All of Bayram’s gowns fall between $800 to $4,000, with the majority of them placed between the $1,500 and $2,800 range. She felt that these prices tend to be where most women buy.

“Growing up I admired how well-dressed my father was and I loved going in on weekends with him and working at the shop and spending time with him,” Bayram said. “I remember on Sundays, our weekly trips to Jo-Ann Fabric, and we would spend hours. I would always touch the fabrics and do my own pattern making with him.”

“When I pick the dresses I usually base my selection on the style, price point and quality of the dress. When I was looking for dresses I was really disappointed by the price point versus the quality of the garments,” she said.

“When I’m picking dresses I always make sure that it’s really well made.”

BY ALYSSA JACKSON | PHOTO BY JENNIFER CRONIN

Bayram started Paislee Boutique because she admired the many highfashion clients that would come to her father’s tailor business. She said that, at the time, there weren’t many boutiques in Rochester, and she didn’t enjoy shopping in department stores as much. She was looking for more one-of-a-kind pieces that weren’t mass produced.

Paislee Boutique is filled with clothing that has been hand-picked by Bayram at trade shows. Bayram loves putting time and care into choosing the pieces that will eventually be worn by her customers, whom she raves about. “I’m a full seamstress so sometimes my clients come in and we redo a piece of clothing and we just completely amplify it and bring it to trend,” she said. “Having that platform and those personal connections with people would be my favorite part (of owning a boutique).”

Bayram described Paislee Boutique as fun, young and modern, labeling it as the “girl next door’s style.” Pieces are trendy and of quality, something that is at the forefront of her mind when picking out any article of clothing. Being a seamstress has allowed her the ability to tell if an article of clothing is made well.

Running a tailor shop and a boutique might seem like enough to keep any reasonable person busy, but Bayram has always loved clothes and been a hard worker. After she got engaged, she was excited to begin looking for wedding dresses, but quickly became frustrated.

The dresses she tried on were either far too pricey, or they would be made with materials that weren’t quality or comfortable. She often found dresses were made out of polyester, whereas she had always pictured herself in a silk gown.

This frustration served as the inspiration for her latest boutique, Silk Bridal Boutique, located right next door to her two other businesses.

Silk Bridal Boutique has been open for approximately a year now. While Paislee Boutique and Thimble Tailor are largely established and running on their own, Silk Bridal Boutique is still Bayram’s baby.

“Lately I’ve been focusing on our bridal shop, Silk. It’s definitely an extremely selective industry, it’s a completely different ball game,” she said. “The dresses that we picked for the season we’ve actually ordered over a year ago. When the bride says yes to the dress we take their measurements and then it’s hand-made for them.”

This aspect is crucial to Bayram’s business. She stressed that Silk Bridal Boutique is intended to create an environment that is very personalized

Many of Bayram’s clients are repeat clients that venture throughout all of her stores. Often, someone who started out going to Thimble Tailor becomes a regular at Paislee Boutique, and may even eventually shop at Silk Bridal Boutique as well.

“It’s funny because a lot of my clients, now that I’ve been doing this so long, I see them grow as individuals,” Bayram said. “A few of my clients are now my really close friends, and they started coming in as single women, and then I see them meet someone and marry and have kids. It’s like we’re all growing up together.” Her relationships with her clients are her favorite part about running her boutiques, and she has loved the platform that she has to get to know members of her longtime hometown, Rochester. She’s not a fan of the harsh winters, but she loves the summer and the people here in the city.

Bayram’s love for fashion certainly translates into her own wardrobe.

Growing up she described herself as a tomboy, so she frequents a “boyfriend style” that might include ripped jeans, rolled cuffs, and comfortable sneakers or flats.

But often times, her inner boutique style comes out and she’ll be in “ruffles, lace, and prints.” She loves to experiment with her wardrobe.

“I’m all over the place,” she said with a laugh.

She has some staples in her closet, though. For one thing, she loves a good scarf. “I’m constantly wearing scarves. My husband says ‘for every new scarf you buy you have to donate two,’” Bayram said, laughing “I don’t have enough room in my closet for scarves! I love silk scarves, though, they’re my favorite.”

In addition, she believes that there are a few staples that every girl should have in her own closet, including a black dress, a good pencil skirt and a nice handbag. “Every girl needs a little black dress. I know it’s a cliche, but it’s true,” she said earnestly. “I think every girl should have a well-fitted pencil skirt and a great bag. Something you can wear during the day for business but also that you can wear for happy hour on a Friday night.”

Don’t be fooled, though. Bayram’s love for fashion has nothing to do with how she looks or what’s in her closet.

“Fashion, it can be a little bit of just a hollow outer appearance, but it’s really not that. It’s looking and feeling your best and projecting how you feel. With fashion, you can express yourself. You can walk into a room and give people a sense of your personality.”

forward

& “New Hat”

::SHIFT+CONTROL ::FASHION

A FASHIONABLE APPROPRIATE

BY JOAN LINCOLN

This issue of RWM is an easy topic issue for me: Fashion! Dressing women of the Greater Rochester area for over 30 years in one manner or another has been a gift. I have also been blessed with empowering women through RWM Fashion Forward articles, my Beauty Buzz blog for D&C herRochester, Fashion Forward Radio Show every Thursday with Tony Infantino on WARM 101.3, through thousands of makeup lessons and applications, and of course at Panache Vintage & Finer Consignment, Rochester’s Premier Luxury Resale Boutique at Brighton Commons. It has been the most rewarding experience since I transplanted myself from the Finger Lakes to Rochester in 1980.

Having the opportunity of wearing many hats (fashionable of course) over my lifetime, I feel a great sense of pride, accomplishment, and preparedness for my next chapter. It is with great joy that I announce that I am going to be a grandparent for the first time. My “Nonnie” job will begin this November. I couldn’t be happier! As you read, this my eldest daughter and her husband will be 28 weeks pregnant, my middle daughter will have just married, and my youngest daughter will have just started her junior year at St. Lawrence University. The “nest” is empty again! But NOT for long.

My new fashionable name “Nonnie” was created while sitting around a table with both sets of in-laws of my two oldest daughters. All of us would be grandparents within a window of two months of each other. The name game started and “Joanie” quickly became “Nonnie”. Time to fill the empty nest with “just enough” to care for our new bundle of joy.

Fashionable Nonnie Training: Does my wardrobe change as I put on this new “hat”? You bet!

TRAINING CHALLENGE #1: I decided to sharpen my “Nonnie” skills by entertaining the challenge of caring for a Panache team member’s two children, ages “Miss 1 year” and “Mr. 3-year-old,” for a sleepover.

Good News: We all survived! I came to realize that I didn’t have to have a house full of toys or a kitchen full of food to make things fun and satisfying for all of us during their stay. I was quickly reminded that “fashion” isn’t a top priority when rearing toddlers. I don’t recall if I ever even had a chance 16

AUGUST 2015 :: ROCHESTERWOMANMAG.COM

to change my clothes during their 20-hour visit! I did feel like I was in a yoga class the entire time these two precious children were with me. FYI: My body reminded me for a couple days after their departure how out of shape I am.

TRAINING CHALLENGE #2: I accepted the opportunity of taking

charge of my boyfriend’s three step-granddaughters, ages 10 and twin 14-year-olds, for a day! Girls, I thought, now I can do girls, I have three of my own remember? I knew that if I included eating out and shopping that they would be fairly entertained, but when we realized Grandpa Fitz wanted to join us he suggested go-karts into the agenda and they loved the idea! It was one of the hottest “dog days of summer”, fortunately knowing that a swim in a luxurious pool at the end of the day was enough to get us through our sporting, eating and shopping activities.

Both of my “Nonnie Training Days” fell on my day off Monday. What I will tell you is that I often refer to Mondays as “Field Trip Mondays” (I spend the majority of my life standing -- A.K.A. retail -- so comfort is the name of the game on Mondays). I have also been known to refer to my days off as “Manicure Mondays” or “Medical Mondays”. I knew this particular Monday was going to be field trip busy! Dressing for work is very different from dressing for a day of full child rearing. I prepared for in and out of the car, walking through the stores, running with the girls to the public restroom, videotaping them along the go-kart fenceline, playing lifeguard on a hot summer day ~ but I nailed it, I certainly didn’t win any fashion awards with my linen top, cargo khakis or Naot bedazzled sandals, but I was determined that I was a fashionably appropriate attired “Nonnie”.

This “Nonnie” will be appropriately dressed, comfortable and ready for any activity that comes my way in my next new chapter. I reminded myself often on both caregiving occasions, that they watch our every move and listen to our every word while we aren’t watching. The good news? We rarely used technology and we all survived “fashionably”! Thank you, kids, for the opportunity to be in your lives and to have a Perfectly Panache “Nonnie-in-Training” story to share! ...live life with Panache!!! panacheconsignboutique.com

Fashion Expo

RWMs Ultimate

presented by RWM & FASHION FORWARD on WARM 101.3

THURSDAY, AUGUST 27TH FROM 5-9PM AT VICTORY COMMUNITY CENTER I 32 WILDBRIAR RD

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AUGUST 2015 :: ROCHESTERWOMANMAG.COM

FINDING BEAUTY IN EVERYONE

story ::COVER 34

diane hardgrove ::COVER

BY JESSICA GASPAR | PHOTOS BY TODD ELLIOTT

It has been said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But, that often begs the question: What kind of beauty exactly?

Of course, there’s the physical beauty – the obvious choice for many.

Then there’s the internal beauty, the kind one may really have to look for in someone in order to actually catch a glimpse of what they didn’t see at first glance.

It could be said that Diane Hardgrove, of Victor, has both physical and internal beauty.

The pageant-winning beauty queen has Mrs. Arizona, Mrs. America, and Mrs. World listed on her résumé, something most women will never achieve.

Though she stands 5’11” and has a face that one could describe as being easy on the eyes, the 38-year-old beauty queen emphasizes it’s what’s on the inside that truly counts. Everything else is secondary.

For instance, most pageant-style contestants are urged to have a platform, a community-oriented cause or charity that is important to her. To Hardgrove, that platform is what matters most and is what should take priority when competing and serving as a Mrs. America.

Hardgrove’s platform is breast cancer research and awareness. For the last nine years, Hardgrove has worked closely with the Race for The Cure as well as the American Cancer Society’s flagship event, the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk with her team, the Pink Ribbon Walkers.

“I’ve had a few people in my family with breast cancer, so it’s very near and dear to my heart,” she said. Hardgrove was an honorary chairperson for the southern Arizona Race for the Cure in 2006 and 2007. She also was filmed in some television commercials to support the fundraiser.

Hardgrove was born in Long Island, but moved to Arizona where she was raised. It was in Arizona, at age 19, when she won her first beauty pageant as Miss Sierra Vista in 1996. Three years later, she was crowned Miss Tucson. Both of those titles fell under the Miss America Pageant realm.

Through Miss America, Hardgrove received college scholarships which helped defray the cost of tuition at the University of Arizona, where she earned her Bachelors of Science degree in 1999.

story

CS

Hardgrove won her first title of Mrs. Arizona America in 2006.

She later became Mrs. America 2006 and Mrs. World 2007. But, Hardgrove actually didn’t win the Mrs. Arizona pageant her first time around. She competed in 2005, but went home empty-handed.

“Looking back at the DVD, there was so much room for improvement,” she said. In some instances, she felt she said ‘um’ too many times when being interviewed, among other improvements she could have made.

As disappointed as she was with her loss, she initially was hesitant to compete again. It was at the urging of Diane Ritter, who was executive director of Mrs. Arizona America at the time, that Hardgrove decided to give it another go. After an intense year of hard work, preparations, and personal reflection, she was crowned Mrs. Arizona America the following year – in 2006.

The Mrs. America pageant celebrated its inaugural year in 1938 and continued for 30 years.

After a nine-year hiatus, husbandand-wife duo David Z. and Elaine Marmel, resurrected Mrs. America and have been the faces behind the brand since 1977. Their focus was to showcase the average American married women, unlike the Miss America pageant, which is geared toward young women in the late teens and early 20s.

The Miss pageant is much more grueling, according to Hardgrove. The contestant winners of the Miss program are expected to travel quite a bit, sometimes up to 20,000 miles a month, in order to make their appearance requirements. The Mrs. America pageant is more easygoing and family-oriented.

“We understand that you have a family,” Hardgrove said. “We’re not going to tell you what to do. You set your own schedule.”

About four years ago, she returned to New York and settled in Victor with her husband, Roy, who is president of Hardgrove Consulting Group.

Though born a New Yorker, she was only about a year-and-a-half old when she left Long Island, so Hardgrove didn’t remember much about the New York.

The winter was the real culture shock since Arizona is dry and mostly desert, but Hardgrove enjoyed the change in weather and climate.

Her attitude was to embrace everything she could.

ROCHESTERWOMANMAG.COM :: AUGUST 2015

35

story ::COVER

“I learned to ski as soon as I got here,” she said with a laugh, commenting that it was almost a necessity in order to make it through uUpstate New York’s long cold winters.

Through her years as a contestant in the Mrs. America pageant, Hardgrove built a strong relationship with the Marmels. When the couple heard of her move back to New York, they charged her with executive director of the Mrs. New York America Pageant.

Hardgrove is responsible for recruiting married New York women to compete in the state-based pageant. The winner each year then goes on to face off against 50 other women in the Mrs. America competition, and if successful, she would compete in the Mrs. World competition. A Mrs. New York was last crowned a Mrs. America in 1997 – the only time a resident of the Empire State has done so since 1977.

The Mrs. America contestants are average women who might often be seen sporting a pair of jeans and a T-shirt while walking through Wegmans on any given day of the week. Hardgrove emphasized their main priority is their families.

“All these contestants are beautiful,” she said, “but they’re beautiful on the inside as well.”

Hardgrove takes a soft approach to directing Mrs. New York America.

“I’m a very easygoing director,” she said.

Current Mrs. New York America titleholder Jessica Lahr, of Geneva, describes Hardgrove as a patient and encouraging woman. Jessica took nearly three months to decide whether or not she would compete in Mrs. New York.

“In those months, Diane was so willing to answer questions and was patient with me beyond words,” she said. “I had never even seen a pageant before, so I was very skeptical from the stereotypes I had heard and was completely oblivious as to what would be required of me.”

Hardgrove added many of the contestants are first-timers and unfamiliar with the ins and outs of a typical beauty pageant. Hardgrove’s job is to familiarize them with the process and help them.

“It allows married women to come together,” Hardgrove said. “There’s a huge support system.”

And, Jessica couldn’t agree more.

“It’s deeper than a competition,” she said. “It’s encouraging married women, many who are moms and take care of others before themselves, to dig deep inside and learn more about themselves while experiencing such immense personal growth.”

The Mrs. America pageant is not your stereotypical cut-throat competition.

It’s a friendly environment, and Hardgrove said many of the ladies even put competing in this type of pageant on their “bucket lists” as something to do before their time ends.

“I tell the girls to focus on your platform,” she said. “That’s that main reason to (get involved) in pageants.”

Jessica’s platform this year is promoting the Ronald McDonald House Charities in Rochester. In the past, other contestants have focused on causes such as the American Heart Association, the Boys & Girls Club, as well as infertility awareness.

ROCHESTERWOMANMAG.COM :: AUGUST 2015

37

::COVER

story

“Never competing in a pageant before, I’m truly clueless, but (Diane) has guided me with grace, love, and positivity every step of the way while embracing the passion I have for my platform, the Ronald McDonald House,” Jessica said.

Jessica will compete in the Mrs. America pageant in September.

The next Mrs. New York will be crowned at the upcoming Mrs. New York pageant scheduled for 2 p.m. Sunday, Nov. 15, at the RIT Inn & Conference Center, 5257 W. Henrietta Road, Henrietta. Though she has 13 New York women signed up to compete, Hardgrove is always looking for more ladies to recruit. “I know New York could have a lot more,” she said.

Anyone who may be interested is encouraged to visit the Mrs. New York website at www.mrsnyamerica.com. There is an interest form which can be filled out and will be sent to Hardgrove, who will call and vet any potential pageant candidate.

Hardgrove’s work doesn’t stop there, however. In addition to her work at Mrs. New York America, she is the recruiting director for the New York Life Finger Lakes General Office.

She is also a model, actress, and movement instructor for Wilhelmina Rochester – a local model and talent management company. Hardgrove’s face has been seen in local advertisements for Eastview Mall, First Niagara Bank, and the Canandaigua-based Reister’s Appliance.

In an ad she did for Kwik Fill gasoline stations, Hardgrove portrayed a driver of an 18-wheeler professing her love for Kwik Fill fuel. She also posed Jackie Kennedy-style in an ad for 1961 Vodka, which is a locally distilled vodka sold by Victor-based Stonehurst Brands. She has also served as a judge for the local Miss Flower City pageant.

“It’s a passion of mine, so I have fun with it,” she said.

Hardgrove could be the poster child for community involvement. She and her husband are members of the Cobblestone Creek Country Club

in Victor, where they also live. She attends Mass weekly at the nearby St. Patrick’s Roman Catholic Church. Her faith in the Church and God is strong, and she considers those among her top priorities alongside her family.

At home, Hardgrove admittedly is not the cook of the house; she leaves that up to her husband, whom she describes as an amateur chef.

Ironically, Hardgrove’s paternal grandmother, Jean DeNigris who died in 2008, was a strong-willed Italian woman and an excellent cook. Hardgrove laughed when she recalled a story her own mother, Lorraine, will tell from time to time.

When Hardgrove’s father, Victor, was courting Lorraine, Grandma Jean had to make sure that Lorraine could hold her own in the kitchen. Of course, Lorraine did not disappoint. Hardgrove will admit Lorraine and Jean “tried really hard” to teach her some of their recipes and cooking techniques through the years, but they weren’t as successful as they’d hoped.

While Hardgrove’s skills pale in comparison to Jean’s, she admits she can whip up some things, including a chicken parmigiana, in a pinch. On an average night, she and Roy enjoy fresh American cuisine, including steak and seafood.

When not cooking at home, they do enjoy many of the area’s restaurants.

Being from Arizona, Hardgrove has a true taste for authentic Mexican food. She was delighted to find Rio Tomatlan in Canandaigua, which the couple regularly frequents. Diane said it is the closest to the Arizona-style Mexican food that she has been able to find since moving to New York.

Health is important to the couple, and they exercise several times a week.

One would think a beauty pageant titleholder would belong to an upscale or expensive fitness center with lots of frills, but the couple enjoys the simplicity of Planet Fitness.

“It’s a fun bonding time we have,” Hardgrove said, adding it’s a great way for the couple to decompress after a busy day while spending quality time together.

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WRITTEN BY EMILY SMACZNIAK

::FIT & FOR ::TIPS

flavorable women

As a designer for California Closets, I have some incredible tips on how to make and keep your closet looking fabulous!

First take everything out of your closet, that’s right, I said everything! Start fresh. Organize your hanging, dress shirts together, casuals together, skirts, pants, dresses, and so on. When you hang everything up, turn all the hangers so they are facing you. As you wear the clothes, put the hangers facing the opposite way. In six months’ time all the hangers that are still facing you, are clothes that you have not worn, and can be donated. In addition to this, we all have heard the term “Out with the Old, in with the new.” Every time you purchase a new article of clothing, donate an old one.

Your Guide to a

Fashionista Closet

FOLDED CLOTHES. If you see it, you’ll wear it. Choose clothes that you wear most frequently, t-shirts, jeans, sweaters and sweatshirts, and place them on open shelving. Fold your clothes whichever way works best for you. Use acrylic shelf dividers to limit the clutter and mess!

Shoes. What fashionista does not love her shoes! Pick your top 5-10 pairs and display them. Make them a focal point in your closet using slanted shoe shelves.

Stack the rest of your shoes in clear boxes on the higher shelves to save space.

PURSES AND BAGS. Do not allow them to lay flat, or stuff them in a drawer. They will lose their shape. Always store them upright. Also pick your top five and display them as well. Shelf dividers or Large cubbies will help keep them looking fabulous.

SCARVES. If you are like me and happen to have a serious scarf problem, make sure they are stored properly. Use a scarf hanger or rack to keep them neat and easy to find. Or if you prefer, place them in a drawer, using a drawer divider so you do not have to search through a heaping pile to find the one you want.

Lastly, do not allow your dirty laundry to overtake your closet. Use a concealed hamper to keep your closet tidy.

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AUGUST 2015 :: ROCHESTERWOMANMAG.COM

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AUGUST 2015 :: ROCHESTERWOMANMAG.COM

feature ::SPECIAL

OTHERS TO LIVE A HEALTHY LIFE

44

Inspiring

asthetix

::SPECIAL FEATURE

BY LESTER GALE

asthetixbrandapparel.

Lester Gale, Justin Becker, and Justin Collins are three unique individuals with totally different backgrounds and an entrepreneurial mindset. Together they have created Asthetix, a company whose goal is to aid and inspire others to live a healthy lifestyle through fitness and proper nutrition. The sharing of real life stories of individuals overcoming hardships and real life struggles is at the heart of Asthetix. They give everyday average people a chance to publicly share their success stories to the world, allowing them to inspire others to do the same. The founders are firm believers that success has nothing to do with what you gain or what you accomplish, but what you to do help others.

Here are just a few examples of the members they have helped.

1. JESSICA ROSA SCOENEWEISS

At just 15 years old Jessica suffered from severe back problems. Her spine went from normal to severely deformed in just four months. The curvature in her spine became so bad she had to have surgery where rods were added to her neck and spine to correct the problem. Throughout high school, she was bullied by classmates who would tease her and call her “rod” and make fun of her often for not being able to participate in gym class or be active. This spun her into a deep depression and feeling like she didn’t belong.

1

Now, she pulled herself up and overcame all those hardships and competed in her first bikini competition, despite the fact she still has many limitations with working out due to her spinal surgery. Beautiful on the inside and out, this woman motivates and inspires so many people who have been bullied or overcame a serious injury, but kept on prevailing.

2. GABBY SANTOS

At 396 pounds Gabby Santos was teased and picked on relentlessly throughout high school, she turned to food to cope with her pain and sadness. In 2009, as she sat by the bedside of her father who was undergoing an extreme medical crisis, she decided to make a change in her life, dedicating herself to learn about proper nutrition and fitness. With a new regimen in place, she would go on to lose 240 pounds Gabby Santos is an inspiration to anyone who has been overweight and bullied, but turned their life around through healthy eating and fitness.

2

3. GREG TIBERIO

Abandoned by his father, neglected by his mother, Greg Tiberio chose a life of drug abuse.

He now has turned his life completely around through sports and fitness. Tiberio is an inspiration to anyone who rose above addiction to find a life of success and happiness through fitness.

4. ALICIA DEJARDINS

Suffering from an eating disorder her senior year, Alicia Dejardins was hospitalized for two months for kidney failure at 72 pounds. Anorexia and bulimia were destroying her life.

Having severe self-esteem issues, she knew she had to gain control of herself. Struggling with a long road to recovery, Dejardins discovered fitness, which ultimately saved her life. Using Dana Lynn Bailey and Jesus Christ as her motivation and role models, she has never looked back. Now, weighing a healthy 140pounds, Dejardins is an inspiration to those who have been in her shoes and have struggled with anorexia or bulimia.

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These are just a few of the many success stories. That success is achieved through a combination of Asthetix personalized meal and workout plans. The macro-based meal plans are calculated an based on “clean eating”. At its simplest, clean eating is about eating whole foods or “real” foods, those that are minimally processed or refined, and making them as close to their natural form as possible. Members are provided with a customized meal plan, calculated and balanced by a specialist to meet each individual need. Unlike other diet plans, these meal plans are designed so that members don’t feel hungry during the day and “cheat” days are built in so that favorite foods can still be enjoyed.

Helping members commit to a clean eating lifestyle is one of the keys to the success of the program. Once the new eating regimen becomes a habit, members don’t feel like they are on a “forever” diet. It becomes more of a natural form of eating, and weight loss goals are easier to achieve and maintain.

Along with the meal plan, Asthetix also provides individualized workout plans written by an experienced fitness enthusiast to aid members in achieving their specific goals. Asthetix workouts are solely based on each person’s individual goals and level of experience.

For more information on Asthetix and to read more success stories, visit www.facebook.com/

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woman ::LEADING

dream LIVING HER PROFESSIONAL

BY LAURA DICAPRIO

Anyone who drives through Pittsford is familiar with Embrasse-Moi, the lingerie boutique on the corner of State and Main streets. Owner Kristine Iannazzi opened her doors at the standout location seven years ago and has her hand in every piece of the business. From running the floor to fitting customers to modeling the merchandise for marketing photo shoots, Iannazzi does everything with an incredible can-do spirit that is supported by her husband and five-year-old daughter. Although many people doubted she could open and run a successful business at the young age of 22, Iannazzi is proving them all wrong and is living out her professional dream.

Iannazzi grew up in Kansas City with her entrepreneurial parents who raised her while simultaneously running their own landscape design and installation business. “I learned so much from them,” she shares. “They were great role models and a perfect example of when you work hard good things will happen to you.”

As a child, Iannazzi often thought she would become an art teacher or pursue medical school, but an elective course in high school forever changed and inspired her career aspirations. The class, Fashion Careers, featured a guest lecturer from Gap Inc. who spoke about her experience as a knitwear designer and Iannazzi was hooked. “Listening to her speak, I knew in my gut that’s what I wanted to do. It sounded so glamorous and exciting.”

After earning her B.A. in Apparel and Textile Design from Kansas State University in Manhattan, Kansas, Iannazzi moved to the Manhattan on the Eeast Coast to attend the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York City where she received her Associate’s Degree in Fashion Design (Women’s Wear). It was at FIT where she was first exposed to the lingerie business and knew she had found her calling.

Iannazzi moved to Rochester in 2008. Her husband grew up in Mendon and was familiar with the area, so they started scouting out potential storefronts together all over Rochester. She knew the moment she toured the retail space at 1 North Main Street in Pittsford that she had found the perfect location for her future lingerie business. After writing a business

plan and designing and building the interior of the store, Embrasse-Moi opened its doors on September 1, 2008. “I worked sixty days straight after opening,” Iannazzi laughs. “I was 22 years old, a baby really, but I had so much energy to pour into it.”

Embrasse-Moi originally featured creative designs by Iannazzi along with retail merchandise, but after three years in the business and seeing the success and popularity of the retail side, she decided to put her own line on hold in order to focus on the retail portion. “It was getting to be too stressful to do both,” she explains.

Embrasse-Moi features a variety of lingerie and swimwear items at a variety of price points to fit most budgets. Iannazzi and her staff make sure each customer is fitted properly and leaves feeling beautiful and good about themselves. “We sell things that make women look and feel beautiful, that’s our goal and purpose” she states.

A self-described people person, she loves working with and helping customers and has a loyal client base. Another favorite aspect of her career is the travel she has been able to experience; yearly trade shows in New York City and Paris and photo shoots in tropical locations such as Turks and Caicos.

After seven years of business success, Iannazzi is thankful to Rochester and has started to give back as her way of saying thanks to the community. In October 2014, she partnered with the Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester and she and her staff have plans to volunteer at the Ronald McDonald house in the near future. She has also hired many high school and college interns, in hopes of inspiring a future fashion designer or entrepreneur. “I had such an amazing experience (with the fashion course) in high school and that’s not available at most schools here. It’s such a treat to work with young kids.”

Although Iannazzi has thought about expanding her business, she is currently content with her work/life balance. “I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t do this and it’s going well so I get to keep doing it…which is awesome.”

For more information about Kristine Iannazzi and Embrasse-Moi, visit www.embrasse-moi.com.

Where will you go?

MCC’s community of successful women includes all ages, backgrounds, and interests. Sometimes it even includes mothers and daughters. MCC alum Lauren Bates juggled kids and classes on her way to earning a teaching degree. Her daughter Maggie, also an MCC grad, just landed her first job as an engineer with Procter and Gamble.

With over 90 transfer and career programs, inspiring professors, and flexible scheduling, MCC has what you need to start your next chapter.

Became a teacher.

Call us at 585.292.2200.

Or visit www.monroecc.edu today.

Lauren Bates ’02

Became an engineer.

Maggie Bates ’12

Inspire

ROCHESTER WOMEN

MARLEEN VAN AARDT Owner, Meki Couture

BY VANESSA J. CHEEKS | PHOTO BY GILMORE HAYLE

The word “couture” has the power to evoke feelings of unattainability among the fashion unaware. It almost seems like this far-off concept designated for models on Parisian runways and not for women right here in the Flower City. That misconception is exactly what drives Marleen Van Aardt to design and produce handmade wedding gowns and bridal accessories for her clients, bringing couture to Rochester one creation at a time. “Couture is the art of fine sewing,” explained Aardt, who named her bridal gown studio Meki Couture to represent the quality work she puts into each piece.

Born in South Africa, the now Fairport-based seamstress was exposed to sewing early on. She learned to make clothes as a young girl from a family friend who was a career seamstress. “Learning from her…it was almost like, what you would call an apprenticeship.”

She developed those skills through adulthood by making gowns and formal wear for herself and friends, which, is not uncommon practice where she is from. “In South Africa it is very common for people to make their own rather than go to the store and purchase an outfit or dress,” Van Aardt explained.

Van Aardt came to Rochester seven years ago with her family after her husband secured a position with the Rochester Institute of Technology. She quickly seized the opportunity to bring the idea of making rather than buying to the wedding scene here. “The American bride doesn’t think about designing herself,” she explained. “For them there are so many options at the bridal shops…they can get intimidated by the process of making a dress from scratch.” That is where Van Aardt comes in, guiding each bride through the process with preliminary meetings to get an idea of what the perfect dress looks like to a particular woman. “You have brides come in with pictures. They know what they want and others give a general idea and I can get creative,” said Van Aardt. Sewing these one-of-a-kind pieces for each bride offers more flexibility than some might imagine.

“They can make a change as I go if they do not like a direction I am going,” explained Van Aardt, who sees her brides up to seven times before the dress is complete and while it can literally be breaking work, she enjoys making her clients dreams comes true. “I enjoy brides and the stage of life they are in. They are happy!” she exclaimed.

Between meetings, fittings, sewing and running her two children to soccer, Van Aardt finds time to put approximately 160 hours of work into each gown and can complete a project within four to six months depending on the complexity of the design and she is no stranger to the precise work needed to pull it off. “My education is not in sewing it is in science,” explains Van Aardt of her previous career in research and development of food science which also required her to be focused and meticulous. “As a scientist you have to be precise, the same with sewing, it’s very exact,” she explained. “But it’s so nice to create something and say “wow I made that!” said Van Aardt.

While drawing on her educational background is key in creating the perfect gown, for Van Aardt it is nature and the lure of femininity that gives her true inspiration. “I like nature and the ability to accent the feminine curve,” she explained. The romantic feel of her gowns is palpable in her studio with lace and delicate, intricate features of her gowns on display. She is always looking for new ways to enhance the most romantic day of many Rochester women’s lives.

“I am working on bridal robes, to go over the gown during hair and makeup and can be worn after for the honeymoon,” she explained, showing an early design of her new venture. Something she feels will not only enhance the bridal experience, but, make people feel good about themselves. “Every woman should feel sexy!”

Romance is not unattainable and neither is the art of couture designs for brides seeking something unique. Something they can get with Marleen at Meki Couture.

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TANVI ASHER Owner, Peppermint

BY BETH WINSLOW-D’AMICO | HAYLE

PHOTO BY GILMORE

Whimsical. Colorful. American-made. Those are just a few things customers can expect from fashions at the Park Avenue boutique, Peppermint. Owner Tanvi Asher says it’s all about feeling good about yourself at prices you can afford.

“A lot of clientele are women who are looking for something different, but don’t want to break the bank,” says Asher.

Asher understands the importance of finding affordable clothes that don’t sacrifice style, especially for students and people new to the workforce.

“I used to live in this neighborhood while I was getting my MFA and I noticed that there was a lack of locally-made or American-made clothing at a reasonable price,” says Asher. “I couldn’t afford anything, so I was forced to go to the mall. Coming from the background I did, I felt that we should be more mindful of what we are buying and what we are making, and also where these things are coming from.”

Asher was born in India and grew up in Dubai. At the age of 17 she moved to the United States. She studied Graphic Design at Buffalo State College and Architecture at University of Buffalo, before completing her Master’s Degree in Industrial Design at RIT. For Asher, Rochester’s size and affordability were great selling points for putting down roots.

“It’s a very reasonable city to live in in terms of housing and starting a business,” she says. “It’s a perfect size. Everyone knows everyone and there’s enough love to spread around.”

Peppermint is a feast for the fashionable, and Asher’s creative imprint is everywhere. From clothing to jewelry, scarves to ceramics, everything in the boutique reflects a place in the fashion world where whimsy meets function. Even the store’s display window is a work of art. “A very important part of our store is our windows. We don’t do holiday windows, we do seasonal windows. We’ve been featured in a couple of magazines for the work we put into them,” says Asher.

Asher and her staff challenge themselves to be creative with the windows, staying within a budget of $40 to $50 each season. They use recycled and found items like hangers, paint cans, and wine bottles to create the displays. Their latest window is teeming with inflatable rainbow rafts in the shape of popsicles, a nod to summer and Rochester Pride, which travels down Park Avenue as part of its parade route.

many of whom are women. Peppermint boasts pieces by 50-60 different artists from Rochester to Nepal. Each artist’s aesthetic is reminiscent of the Peppermint brand, which is designed in Rochester and manufactured in Manhattan.

There is no shortage of gorgeous accessories and chic footwear to complement the impressive collection of clothing. Flowing fabrics in myriad colors and patterns line the racks. The store’s own clothing brand, Peppermint USA, is offered alongside fashions from designers across the United States.

When the brand’s production moved to Manhattan, Asher began to miss the hands-on side of making clothes. Her desire to stay connected to the process inspired her to create a line of custom bridal gowns.

Asher works with three brides a year to bring their dream dresses to life.

“Making the gowns gives me the chance to work with you one-onone and get to know you. I ask you about your life, why you want a particular type of dress, what you do, what your significant other does, and so on. There’s a lot of trust involved.”

Due to the fact that the gowns are custom-made

by Asher herself, she asks brides to come to her a year in advance. The design process takes around eight months from conception to completion. For the past three years Asher has showcased the line, which also includes bridesmaids dresses, in an annual fashion show at popular Rochester restaurant, Good Luck.

Asher’s spends most of her time focusing on manufacturing, designing, and customer service. The Peppermint brand has nine wholesale accounts throughout the country and Asher talks to her wholesale representative several times a week. She also travels to New York City twice a month to shop for fabrics and oversee the brand’s production.

“The most challenging part is the uncertainty that comes with running your own business,” says Asher. “That uncertainty is a challenge, but a challenge that drives all of us here to provide better service, better products, and an overall better experience.”

When asked what advice she would give to other entrepreneurs, Asher emphasizes the importance of surrounding yourself with supportive people. “Don’t do it by yourself,” she says. “Get a good team of people who will help you market your business, and be consistent with your business plan.”

Asher has empowered her staff to take the reins on some aspects of the work. Whether it is updating the boutique’s social media accounts or modeling their latest fashions in an impromptu photo shoot, Asher’s employees each play a part in the creative process.

Asher sources for local products wherever possible. There is a display stand made from antique sewing machine tables, as well as a vintage wooden cart that showcases some of the shop’s jewelry.

“I always tell them to think about the bigger picture,” says Asher. In addition to running a successful business, Asher was recently voted president of the Park Avenue Merchant’s Association.

“I’m very inspired by my travels, my surroundings, and the feedback that customers give me when they’re here,” says Asher. “It’s about finding that balance of what works for my clientele, while also keeping what’s true to me and how we design things.”

“Park Avenue is a very central part of the city, it’s kind of in the center of everything,” says Asher. “I’m always looking for ways to make the Avenue even more of a destination than it already is.”

Part of staying true to Asher’s vision includes supporting other artists,

With its chic homegrown brand, affordable prices, and unique charm, Asher has made Peppermint a destination all its own.

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Designing the NEW National Wom

Hall of Fame

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men’s

womens hall of fame

::SPECIAL FEATURE

BY LAURA DICAPRIO | PHOTO BY BRANDON VICK In meeting Heather Rogers and Karsten Solberg, it is clear to see that the two make a solid team. Both women work for CJS Architects (formerly Chaintreuil, Jensen, Stark Architects, LLP) on a variety of different projects, but they are particularly enthusiastic about their most current assignment - designing and renovating a new space for The National Women’s Hall of Fame (NWHF), to be known as the Center for Great Women, which will soon be housed in the historic Seneca Knitting Mill building in Seneca Falls, NY. After competing in a rigorous and competitive bid for the business, the two will work closely together over the next three years until its projected open date of winter 2018.

HEATHER ROGERS

After receiving her B.S. in Architectural Technology from Alfred State College and her M. Arch from Syracuse University, Rogers worked for almost five years as an Intern Architect at the Air Force Research Laboratory in her hometown of Rome, NY. She joined CJS Architects in 2013 and has been involved in a number of different projects for the firm. Rogers belonged to and assumed leadership roles in a number of women’s professional associations while in college, including participation in Women in Non-traditional Studies (WINS) Club, so she was particularly excited about the opportunity to work alongside the NWHF.

KARSTEN SOLBERG

Solberg’s education brought her all throughout the Northeast.

A native of Connecticut, she received her B.A. in Fine Art and History, art, and history from Colby College in Waterville, ME and her M.Arch from the Rhode Island School of Design. After working for the globally recognized architecture firm Sasaki Associates in Boston for nearly five years, her husband’s career moved the couple to Rochester in 2012. She is honored to be the first female registered architect hired by CJS in the past 10 years.

Solberg finds her new position both rewarding and challenging and is busily navigating a work/life balance as she simultaneously raises her 18-month-old son with her husband.

THE NATIONAL WOMEN’S HALL OF FAME AND THE NEED FOR MORE SPACE The National Women’s Hall of Fame opened in 1969 in Seneca Falls, New York, the birthplace of the American Women’s Rights Movement. The Seneca Falls community felt that the women who fought for women’s rights deserved a place to be honored and recognized. It’s “the nation’s oldest membership organization dedicated to honoring and celebrating the achievements of distinguished American women,” with the mission of “Showcasing great women…Inspiring all!” - National Women’s Hall of Fame, Seneca Falls, NY, 2015.

Two hundred and fifty six women have been inducted into the Hall of Fame, including New York State natives Lucille Ball, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Edith Wharton. All of the inductees have significantly contributed to the nation in a variety of subjects including the arts, business, education, government, and science.

Women inducted into the Hall must be United States citizens either by birth or naturalization and their contributions to society should be of national or global importance.

The Hall was originally housed in Eisenhower College until 1979 when it moved to its current location in a historic bank building in the Seneca Falls Historic District at 76 Fall Street. Over the years, the Hall has outgrown its current space. A larger venue would allow for more exhibits, programs, improved administrative offices and would provide space to host traveling exhibits it currently cannot accommodate. “Their mission statement far exceeds what their facilities can provide,” Solberg explains. “For example, Amelia Earhart’s scarf is currently sitting in the basement (of the current space)…it needs to be out on display.”

SF

Plans to relocate the Hall of Fame first came to fruition in 2005 when the Hall purchased the unoccupied Seneca Knitting Mill.

CJS Architects and five other firms received a request for proposal from NWHF in October 2014 for their new attraction, The Center for Great Women. The Center will focus on three main areas: transforming the Seneca Knitting Mill into the permanent home for the Hall of Fame, expanding the Hall’s offerings to make room for more educational programs and research, and enhancing its website and social media presence.

The mill, which was built in 1844 and operated continuously for 150 years before closing in 1999, is an ideal location for the new Hall because it will give the organization a formal façade. “Their current facility is an unidentifiable storefront,” Solberg explains. “The mill is an iconic building to the town. It will mean something to the town and to the area and it will give the NWHF a recognizable face.”

DESIGN TEAM AND NEXT STEPS

The team at CJS was ecstatic to learn that they won the account in March 2015. Although Rogers and Solberg are the primary contacts on the project, others at CJS are also offering help and guidance along the way. Company Partners Craig Jensen and Dirk Schneider are overseeing the project and offering advice when needed, and Landscape Designer Nicole Mix from Fisher Associates is working on the site development. “It was a job well done. Karsten and I worked hard and we developed a clear concept based on historic research and the NWHF mission … it felt great. A mission-driven project with a passionate client is something every architect dreams of.” Rogers shares.

CJS Architects was founded in 1972 and is a leading architectural design firm in upstate New York. With offices in Rochester and Buffalo, the firm has about 10 team members in each office location whose talents in the field have won numerous awards.

Notable projects the firm has tackled include the 2010 Eastman Theatre expansion and renovation, the 2006 Strong National Museum of Play Expansion and Renovation, and the 2009 development of RIT’s University Services and Innovation Center.

The renovation of the Seneca Knitting Mill will be tackled in stages, with the second phase being general clean-up and winterization in preparation for this coming winter. “Right now the Mill is occupied by cats and rodents,” Rogers laughs, “but we’re installing windows, performing masonry restoration and making the building watertight…we hope to be done with this stage by the end of 2015.” The historic Mill Building has already seen the completion of its first phase which included abatement, window and lintel reinforcement, fascia repair/replacement, and the installation of a new roof.

The women shared a sneak peak of their design plans, which both preserve the integrity of the historic mill and introduce additions that will help accommodate the growing center. Working with the preexisting materials and building footprints was a focal point of their proposal. “The NWHF team is very interested in green design in the sense of preservation and reuse…while some clients might prefer to build on a clean slate, the NWHF chose to re-purpose an existing site and the buildings on that site, they’re different in that capacity.” Rogers shares.

When asked who they might like to nominate into the new Hall of Fame or Book of Lives and Legacies, both women are pensive. “I would choose my Great Grandmother Doris,” Rogers shares. “She graduated from Syracuse University’s Teachers College in 1934, and went on to be a public school teacher for many years. This has personal significance to me, given my own history of being an SU alumn.”

After thinking it over Solberg contributes, “I went to an all girl’s school, Westover School, and I’d nominate the founder, Theodate Pope Riddle, America’s first licensed woman architect and the founder of the school. She built the school and her original plans for the school hung in the hallway…I used to look at them every day.”

moment ::MENOPAUSE

PANIC ATTACK OR GENERALIZED ANXIETY DISORDER?

BY JAMES WOODS, MD & ELIZABETH WARNER, MD Your day has been unremarkable when suddenly you experience an overwhelming sense of dread. Your heart rate begins to increase, you break into a sweat, you cannot catch your breath, your chest tightens and you feel dizzy. You wonder, is this a heart attack, is this simply anxiety, or have you just experienced a panic attack?

Differentiating a panic attack from a generalized anxiety disorder can be a challenge. Generalized anxiety disorders involve chronic worry regarding a wide range of life’s activities. The lifetime incidence is estimated to be 5%, with women being twice as likely as men to experience it. And while everyone at some time in his or her life has the discomfort of overwhelming anxiety, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders ED V (DSM-VTR) defines generalized anxiety disorders as occurring most days within a six month window, often beginning in the teen-age years, and at times linked to alcohol or drug abuse. Typical sensations are those of restlessness, fatigue, depression, poor concentration, irritability and negative feelings that can lead to cutting or other bodily injury as the individual seeks distraction from his or her sense of helplessness or lack of self-worth.

Panic attacks, in contrast, present as a more acute event, at times awakening a person from sleep. Officially diagnosed if experienced more than four times per month, they occur more often in women than men, and may have a family predisposition. At times the individual may even develop agoraphobia or fear of open spaces, as he or she anticipates being helpless if another attack occurs.

Because of the chest tightness, high heart rate and breathing difficulties, these episodes often are misdiagnosed initially as a cardiovascular event.

The biology of panic attacks suggests a sudden flight or fight reaction to a seemingly unrecognized or ill defined threat. The sudden release of 54

AUGUST 2015 :: ROCHESTERWOMANMAG.COM

epinephrine and norepinephrine lead to the rapid heart rate, sweating, and with the hyperventilation comes numbness, and light headedness.

Despite the physical characteristics of panic attacks, results of numerous clinical and laboratory studies to define the specific brain regions responsibility for these bodily changes have been inconclusive. They have, however, clearly defined panic attacks as a biologic process subject to pharmacologic and psychiatric management. Brain imaging and related research have demonstrated changes in oxygen, glucose and blood flow in the limbic system and the locus ceruleus, areas that are responsible for arousal, anxiety and fear.

Management of panic attacks in the past has utilized benzodiazepines, a family of drugs that calm the nervous system by increasing calcium channels within neurons, and selective serotonin receptor inhibitors, which are antidepressants. Breathing into a bag has not been shown to be ineffective, whereas controlled breathing (using the 5-2-5- rhythm of 5 seconds to inhale, two seconds to hold one’s breath, and then 5 seconds of slow exhale) has been shown to help. More recently cognitive behavioral therapy has proved as effective as medications. This seemingly simple approach, where one is brought to realize that he or she cannot affect the outside world, but only his or her inner response to those outside events, has proved effective as long-term therapy.

For those who have experienced panic attacks, those moments are terrifying. Our better understanding and newer approaches to treating panic attacks are providing tools for an improved life.

James Woods MD is a practicing gynecologist certified in menopausal medicine and a regular contributor to Rochester Woman Magazine. Elizabeth Warner, MD, is a retired gynecologist living in Rochester, NY. For questions regarding this menoPAUSE moment please call him at (585) 271-7800 or read his BLOG at www.obgyn.urmc.edu/menopause.

Obstetrics and Gynecology

Henry Hess, MD, PhD

Jim Woods, MD

We specialize in perimenopausal and menopausal care and welcome new patients.

To make an appointment, please call 585.271.7800.

Hess/Woods/Warshof Obstetrics and Gynecology 2255 South Clinton Avenue Rochester, NY14618 Kalin Warshof, MS, RN, FNP-BC

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it!

:SNAP OUT OF,

SI SF SIF

DON’T TELL ME WHAT

BY MARGARET MADIGAN

to wear

“Fashion, turn to the left. Fashion, turn to the right. Ooooh, fashion. We are the goon squad and we’re coming to town. Beep beep. Beep beep.” – David Bowie, “Fashion”

Girl, don’t get me started. I love fashion. I love clothes. I love shoes.

Creatively inspired fashion is best. What you wear is the outward reflection of your personality. You are what you wear. So, don’t tell me what to wear.

You are what you wear… that is why I have a problem with the show “What Not to Wear” on TLC. Or rather, now it’s reincarnation as “Love, Lust, or Run” on TLC. The original featured Stacy London and Clinton Kelly, ambushing a poorly chosen soul who was nominated by family and friends of what they thought was a dire need of a wardrobe makeover. The new show just has Stacy, and to add insult to injury she has random people on the street critiquing these women’s outfits by saying they love it, lust it, or would run away from it. I think that’s kind of mean, don’t you?

I mean, yes some women did look a little scary in ill-fitting or unflattering things. And some were afraid to reveal their true selves by masquerading as a stripper or farm hand or fairy princess. But then again, I think some of these women do really feel like a stripper, a farm hand, or a fairy princess.

I’ve always been a big fan of individualism. I myself being a radical individualist, I’ve been through many incarnations. In high school in the late ‘70s and early ‘80s I was uber preppy. In college, I was super punk and new wave, complete with sides of my head shaved and spiky hair on top. After college, a preppy/ punk combo. Then came marriage and motherhood in the 90’s and it was pretty much preppy mommy wear. In the last 15 years since my divorce, I would call myself hip, edgy, retro, alternative, country club broad. It depends on the day and my mood, really. Lately, I’ve been in a pinup style mood, or as I just generally call retro.

Of course, I try to wear things that are flattering to my figure. Read: look less fat. I am a fan of people flattering their figure. I will give that to the “What Not to Wear” people, they teach women how to wear items that fit. But I don’t know, I just think if a chick wants to be a motorcycle mama or rockabilly gal, more power to her. Yea, there are some that look like clowns – too much makeup, really loud ill-fitting clothes. Nor am I a fan of a 55-year-old woman trying to look like a 20-year-old. There is always room for a little tweaking. But the show always makes these women out to be freaks. I say, “Screw you, Stacy. I think those gray streaks

ala Bride of Frankenstein in your hair look really stupid. Whattaya think about that?”

Ok, I feel better. But wait the other thing that makes me angry is that for the makeover, every woman comes out looking exactly the same! So to them, a satisfactory makeover is one where all women look like they just stepped out of Chico’s or Banana Republic in a boring boxy, casual business look. Sure, you look great for a Sears catalog model, but not someone a guy would give a catcall to.

My 18-year-old daughter just made a great point when I asked her her thoughts on the show. She agreed that every woman looks exactly the same after the makeover and hates that. But she also said that there are some people that do need help with things like work attire. There were a few women who were frustrated because they wanted to be more successful in their careers, but they couldn’t understand why it wasn’t happening when they were dressed like a hooker or bag lady. Work and play clothes are often different, that’s a given. There are certain jobs that require a certain… decorum, shall we say. I don’t think I’d trust a doctor that wore a Speedo to work or an investment banker that dressed like an exotic dancer. Well, I mean I’m open minded but perhaps that person’s superiors aren’t. I have to admit there was one girl that I agreed needed a makeover. She was…

I don’t even know how to describe it. It was a combination of goth, Kabuki theater (white-face Japanese dancers), and Tim Burton movie character.

Her face was an artist’s canvas, falling just short of a Jackson Pollack painting. She was a hairdresser. I don’t imagine many women would feel confident that she wouldn’t make them look like a freak. The client’s definition of a freak, that is.

I don’t know, I think my involuntary sense of, “Don’t tell me what to do!” leaps out of my chest whenever I see things like this. I enjoy people’s differences. Variety is the spice of life. I’m sure also that they probably manufacture some of those story lines as if to manufacture a car wreck or freak show. I’m sure some uptight suburban Stepford Wife is like, “Oh yes, her Rosie the Riveter look is an abomination!” But I think it’s almost kind of Mean Girls-ish. I can’t stand to see people embarrassed or humiliated in front of others. That’s more what I see this show as. But who am I to judge? I wouldn’t be any better than those doing the judging on the show. But I do believe I’m a little more open-minded and kind when it comes to fashion… and people. Vive le difference!

Margaret “Madge” Madigan is a columnist for Rochester Woman Magazine, and author of the best selling book, “When Life Gives You Lemons…At Least You Won’t Get Scurvy!”

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::SHIFT+CONTROL :POSITIVE LIFE

PARADIGM SHIFTING

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positive life

:POSITIVE MIND

SIF SF PM

Change Your Mind, Change Everything.

DR. SRADDHA S. PRATIVADI

so you will understand future articles of mine.

Has success been slipping through your fingers? In business, relationships, sports, parenting, creativity?

REASONING - the mental faculty you think with. You cannot be

Go immediately, sit down and focus on the area you want to change.

There is a secret. It is not magic and it is knowledge that is actually openly out there. It is there for your taking if you would only open your mind.

All over the world there are people not getting results they want. They are doing things that don’t lead to the results they want. They know this, yet they keep doing the same things. Why is this? Why do people keep eating the wrong things, doing the wrong habits and having relationships with the wrong people? It’s the pattern of thinking, it’s the mind . . . it is the PARADIGM. Your beliefs are the programming of your mind.

Information will not change the paradigm. The report card or your sales sheet is a reflection of your paradigm, not your knowledge. A person’s performance is not a reflection of their knowledge, it is a reflection of their paradigm.

Companies spend a lot of time on training and knowledge, and systems. BUT are they changing the paradigm of the employees? No. They have not changed the paradigm.

forced to think anything without your permission. You choose your thoughts. So learn to choose your thoughts wisely and you will start to change the paradigm.

MEMORY - exercise it or you’ll lose it. Memory is developed through associations, habit, and effort. Work on this. People who readily forget things are not impressive. People who remember and have a fantastic memory are impressive and will garner respect with regard to creating a following in their life and businesses. Work on this.

Does this change the paradigm? No, but it will help you create results.

PERCEPTION - your own point of view. Too often we disagree with people and create conflict with people because they don’t see things like we do. Just remember, everyone has a different point of view.

They are looking at what you are looking at, but you each have your own lenses of your paradigms that affect how you perceive any one particular thing, person or situation. How can two people look at the same thing, but one sees opportunity and the other sees an obstacle? It’s the perception that is colored by the paradigm.

WILL - gives you the ability to concentrate. The will to the mind is like the magnifying glass to the sun. You can control and direct the universal source of energy to create the results you want in your life.

This is not magic. Quantum physics is beginning to understand these powers we have, but ancient cultures have known this for millennia.

KNOWLEDGE DOES NOT CREATE RESULTS. INTUITION - the faculty that picks up the energy around people and gives you information about things, people, and circumstances.

PARADIGMS CREATE RESULTS. This is why companies spend billions of dollars in training each year with no change actually seen in the bottom line or the overall growth IMAGINATION - where all creation begins. This is where your of the company. So what can people do to change their results, go from broke to affluent, go from a half-million dollar company to a $3 million company?

CHANGE THE PARADIGM.

A paradigm is a multitude of habits that are lodged in our subconscious mind. Our intellect is in our conscious mind and this is where our educational system focuses.

Paradigm is a culture. Culture creates group habits and these habits create the collective paradigm.

Have you ever done something and get chided, “Why did you do that?” or thought “Why the heck did I just do that?” for doing something that you know you shouldn’t do yet you don’t know why you keep doing it.

It’s your paradigm.

Most people are programmed by people and circumstances outside of themselves, going about their days performing tasks and activities that are not determined by a deep sense of power and purpose that comes from their true self that is connected to source.

We have sensory factors. We see, hear, touch, taste, smell and receive information from our surroundings. Are these senses the captain of our lives? NO - they are just the instruments of navigation and should not be the captain of your life any more than the navigation instruments are the pilot of an airplane. Don’t forget this.

We have mental faculties that are instruments of implementation of our vision. Are they the captain? No, but read here to understand them

entire life is created. Remember, everything has to exist on the mental plane first before it manifests on the physical plane. So look at your life, whether you like it or not, it is what you have created. You may not understand how you created it, but you did. So the sooner you take responsibility for both the good and bad in your life, the sooner you will open your mind and your imagination to creating the life that you truly want.

Get to know yourself first. Get to know your gifts and get the ability to create your own vision of your life rather than be controlled and dictated by people, things and circumstances outside of your own heart and mind.

Get led to yourself, go to the core of yourself and learn to identify your highest vision of yourself. This is the power of mentoring and coaching.

My mentor, international success expert Bob Proctor, has challenged me, opened my eyes and put into my hands the ability to guide myself to results I want and I can show you to do the same.

Decide to be in control of your life. Do you have the correct paradigms that will allow you to do this?

Dr. Sraddha S. Prativadi is a transformational consultant and personal development coach. Call 585-364-8018 to schedule a free consultation with Doctor P to change your paradigm and get results for yourself, business or organization that you actually desire. Your future is in the NOW. SraddhaPrativadi.TIRItsTime.com

Rochester Woman Magazine

events

August

22ND GATEWAYS MUSIC FESTIVAL

11-16

15TH ANNUAL ARTS AT THE GARDEN

15-16

GALA OF ROYAL HORSES

22 RWM’S ULTIMATE FASHION SHOW & EXPO

27 COLOR VIBE 5K

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2015

EVENTS CALENDAR

Where:Various locations around Rochester When: Check website Website: www.gatewaysmusicfestival.org

Organization:Sonnenberg Gardens Where: Sonnenberg Gardens When: 10am-5pm Website: artsatthegarden.com Where: Blue Cross Arena When: 7:30pm Website:www.bluecrossarena.com

Organization: Rochester Woman Magazine Where: Victory Church When: 5:00pm - 9:00pm Website: www.ultimatewomensexpos.com Organization: The YMCA Where: MCC When: 9:00-11:30pm Website: www.thecolorvibe.com/rochester.php

::EVERYDAY

explorations

Summer Fun on the water

BY KATIE DETAR

It’s summertime in Rochester, and with it comes an abundance of outdoor beauty to explore. Our most scenic and historic natural resource is the waterways. The Genesee River powered the historic mills at High Fall; the Finger Lakes served as fishing grounds and meeting points for Native Americans and now feed the soil of our brimming wine industry, and the vast waters of Lake Ontario offered the Rochester region historic trade routes and agricultural bounty.

As we head into the heat of August, get outdoors and fill your senses with the delights of the waterfront. Head to these fun spots for cool summer fun.

SUP CANANDAIGUA Paddle away an afternoon and cool off in the friendly waters of Canandaigua Lake. At the north end, summer weekends are hopping with the feel of a giant pool party. Friends gather at the marinas, boats lazily drift about, and ice cream cones melt in kids’ hands at Kershaw Park. At Canandaigua Sailboarding, rent a SUP (that’s Stand Up Paddleboard) for a surprisingly easy and approachable way to get out on the water. Resembling an extra-wide surfboard, the increasingly popular summer sport gives the feel of canoeing combined with surfing.

With just a little practice and some reasonable athletic ability, you’ll surprise yourself how easy it is to stand, balance, and paddle your way about the lake. And when the sun heats up, sit right down and slide into the water for a swim!

WHERE EAGLES SOAR Thanks to public conservation efforts over the last 50 years, the bald eagle population in the lower 48 states has

gone from less than 500 to almost 10,000 pairs. Bald Eagles now nest at Hemlock Lake, and offer a glorious sight for those lucky enough to visit. The DEC purchased Hemlock and Canadice Lake in 2010 from the City of Rochester to continue the ongoing protection of this public drinking water source and wildlife habitat. Rent a kayak from a nearby outfitter, and head to the car-top boat launches at either end of the lake.

A summer morning spent quietly paddling on Hemlock is magical. The lake is a rare example of unspoiled nature and – if you’re lucky – an eagle will soar overhead.

LAKESIDE LOUNGING On the shores of Lake Ontario in Waterport, NY you’ll find Lakeside Beach State Park. The 50-minute drive west of Rochester is well worth your time when you reach one of the best panoramas of the lake in our area. A grassy trail leads to the waterfront area, perfect for a picnic and a long afternoon with a good book. The beautiful views are punctuated by gentle breezes off the water and the sounds of gulls chirping overhead. Nearby waterfront campsites, also in the park boundaries, might just entice you to stay the weekend.

FLOAT YOUR BOAT Stay dry and enjoy cool breezes off the water with one of our area’s many scenic boat cruises. On the Erie Canal in Pittsford, catch the Sam Patch - named for the famous American daredevil who jumped the Niagara Falls and the Genesee River Falls in Rochester.

This classic Erie Canal packet boat cruises three times daily, plus special event and evening cruises. In Charlotte, the Harbor Town Belle offers lunch and dinner cruises along the Genesee River, Lake Ontario shoreline, and Irondequoit Bay. ROCHESTERWOMANMAG.COM :: AUGUST 2015

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SIF SF HW

{ true healing } Massage Therapy can lead to

BY CASSONDRA KUBIT

There have been many misconceptions about massage therapy in the last few decades or so. People used to think that getting a massage was only used to pamper oneself. Nowadays massage therapy has stepped back into the world of true healing. Massage therapy has many benefits for everyone. No matter what type of ailment that they may be suffering from, including pain, stress, anxiety, and depression.

that point on I dedicated myself to massage therapy and the many benefits that it has. I dedicated my life to helping every single person who comes onto my table. If I can give someone at least one minute of relief of any kind, then everything I have done was worth it.

Let me share a story about a 16-year-old girl who had a head injury from a softball bat. She was training in her father’s baseball training facility on a machine she had been training on for months. The ball was held by four bungee cords and on that particular day there was a malfunction with the top bungee cord. Her bat swung back at her and hit her across the cheek, nose and forehead.

There are many types of massage therapy that I have come across in my studies. The most well-known style would be the Swedish Massage.

The Swedish Massage varies from light to firm pressure and it uses the five basic massage strokes; effleurage, petrissage, tapotement, friction, and vibration. The objective of Swedish Massage would be to bring relaxation to the muscles using long, gliding strokes. These movements improve blood oxygen levels, eliminate the muscles of poisons and waste material and increase movement while reducing tension. While a Swedish massage is effective to help people who are suffering from health problems it also works wonders on individuals who suffer from everyday troubles and concerns. There are lots of things in life that cause us to become stressed and worried consistently. The more we stress the greater our muscles become tense and we find it hard to relax them. With stress and tension of the muscles comes pain, which can lead to long-term effects on the mind and body.

As you may have guessed she broke her nose and had to be rushed to the hospital and have surgery. This is where her journey began to spiral down into a serious depression that would take her years to pull out of.

But that’s jumping ahead of the progression. The injury caused undo stress on a 16-year-old girl who was at the end of her junior year of high school near finals, the most important year for college. She missed her last month of classes and was starting to suffer from severe migraines.

She made it through finals somehow while under some heavy duty pain killers. Six months later she was going in for another surgery to try to repair the deviated septum and hopefully reduce the sinus pressure that the doctors believed was causing the migraines.

Deep Tissue Massage is the next in line that everyone knows or has at least heard of. Deep tissue is a specific type of massage therapy that concentrates on the deep layers of muscle and fascia in the body and recommended by many doctors as a treatment option. By using deep pressure and slow, firm strokes, deep tissue is used to treat a variety of physical ailments. It helps reduce chronic pain, improves blood pressure, breaks up scar tissue, rehabilitates injured muscles, and helps reduce stress. Deep tissue uses the same strokes as a Swedish Massage, but they are slower and deeper. This massage also incorporates Trigger Point Therapy, Myofascial release, acupressure, and a few other different strokes depending on the therapist.

From 16 to 21 years of age, she battled being in constant pain with no relief. She got hooked on a few different kinds of pain killers trying to get some relief from the pain. That pain caused her to spiral into a deep depression. She struggled through the first few years of college and landed in a field she never thought that she would be in. While she was studying to become a Licensed Massage Therapist, the greatest thing in her life happened. They brought a Trigger Point specialist into class one day and she volunteered to be the model for the class. At first the specialist wasn’t going to pick her because having migraines wasn’t interesting enough for her until she found out the background story.

After 40 minutes of an intense session and a lot of pain , she had no pain in her head. She had a clear head for the first time in five years and that lasted for three months.

One of the greatest benefits of massage is that it puts the body into a high state of relaxation and allows the mind to shut down. Since it will help to provide the energy that you’ll need and to relax your entire body it also allows you to put things into perspective. Massage also helps us get a better night sleep because the body, has been relaxed. With sleep, the mind and body are able to rest. With sufficient sleep, the body and mind can heal.

Pain, stress, anxiety, and depression are interconnected and everywhere in our lives. We have all felt the presence of each one either separate, in combination, or all four together. We have all seen people in our lives going through each one as well.

That girl was me. Massage saved my life and I became fascinated with the field and what it can do for those who are truly suffering. From

There are many different styles of massage therapy and they each gave their own benefits to the body. If one style doesn’t work for you try another. There are hot stones, cold stones, Reiki, craniosacral, meditation massage, Ashiatsu, Shiatsu, manual lymph drainage, bamboo massage, Thai Herbal Ball, Thai massage and many other styles.

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{ discipline } Live A Life of HEALTHY

BY JILL BURRESS | PHOTOS BY BRANDON VICK

Mmmm…milkshakes...I’m dreaming of a thick, frosty, double chocolate milkshake! I mean think about it, have you ever had a milkshake that upon taking your first sip you thought to yourself, “It’s okay, but not delicious?” Well, I have thought that and been disappointed to the point of bringing it back and telling them that it’s just not delicious. Is that offensive? I don’t think so. I’m making a decision for my body to be responsible and deliberate about my eating. I don’t know how many times I have taken a bite or a sip of something and put it down and said, “It’s not worth the calories!”

So, while we are on the subject, why not do an honest assessment of our eating habits. Do we put calories in our body if the bite or sip is “just not delicious?” How about two bites? What are we sacrificing by eating the whole thing? Do you know that, in France, desserts are eaten in small portions and people walk most places? What has happened to our society? America…land of the free. Free to be overwhelmed by gigantic portions and feel compelled to eat everything we see. I know. I did it for years! So, what is the trick to living a life of healthy discipline? How do we go to a party and see the most amazing looking brownies and not eat at least three of them? (Did I mention, I love chocolate?!) Well, I can only speak for myself, but throughout my years, I have learned the art of discipline and I love to encourage others to experience the same feeling of freedom from food and apathy. Yes, I said freedom. I’m talking about the freedom to have the ability to eat something, but also having the power to say no. You have that same power and, if you haven’t discovered it yet, you have that discipline inside YOU! I don’t know about you, but I find it overwhelming to see so many different opinions on weight loss and diet that, if I was trying to choose a path to losing weight and getting fit, I’d be hard pressed to know which way to go. You see, almost 20 years ago, I graduated from college with a degree in Educational Interpreting for the Deaf.

After just a couple years of college, I was weighing much more and looking significantly different than I did when I started, if you know what I mean. For two years, the cherry pie and high-carb meals in the dining hall called my name. I was feeling very unhealthy and not happy with what was happening to my body! To my benefit, I met a woman named Inez who worked as an Aerobic Instructor at a local gym. She encouraged me to give her class a try. When I showed up, I felt so out of place…like the last kid picked for a neighborhood game of kickball. I giggled at myself when I looked in the mirror, as I was less than graceful. If the class went right, I was going left. But, you know what? The weight started coming off.

Phew, I was back to my pre-college weight. For years, I would go to classes at the gym on and off , but I never felt like I had achieved what was an ideal fitness level for me. In other words, there was something missing…

It all started about eight years ago. I had lost much of my pregnancy weight from my second child and I was pretty thin, so that means

I was healthy, right? Not so much. I realized I was a far cry from healthy when I went hiking one of the high peaks in the Adirondack Mountains and thought I was going to collapse out there. One of the hikers with us decided on that trip that he was going to go for Crossfit Certification and start a class for free at our church. This was the start of my disciplined fitness life and I am so thankful for it.

My encouragement to you is not to just look for the latest diet plan or workout fad because eventually something will throw you off; you will be back to your old habits. What we need is an allencompassing life of discipline! Try this for a start…next time you go to the store, buy only food that you know won’t beset you. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you can buy your favorite snack and not want to sit and eat the whole box. Also, why not plan ahead?

Premake your meals,; make five salads on Sunday and keep them in the fridge for the week. This way, you don’t have to grab something in a hurry and regret it later. Eat healthy snacks and frequent, small, high-protein, low-carb meals. Shoot for eating something every three hours. Your body will burn more this way and you will feel better. Do this consistently, every week, every month…you may think it’s boring, but I’ve come to learn that my body looks and feels better when I feed it right consistently, so I keep it up.

When we are disciplined in one area of our lives that spills over into every area of our life. So often people ask me how I continue to look this way and have so much energy when I am almost 40 years old and have had two children. People think I must work out every day for hours and hours, right? Not at all. In fact, most weeks, I work out less than four hours a week. That’s doable, right? It is possible because when you are eating right, you don’t have to work out excessively to stay in shape. When you have established healthy eating habits, your body will work for you. But know this, if you want to be fit, look and feel great, it requires a lifestyle of continuous discipline. Therefore, having a meticulous lifestyle of fitness is not about who can diet the most, it’s about making consistent choices day after day, month after month, year after year. I truly believe that life is about being disciplined in all areas of life with our body, soul and spirit.

I love my life! I am truly blessed physically, mentally and spiritually.

I follow Jesus and read my Bible daily. He blesses me with a desire to live right, eat right and be the best physically, mentally and spiritually I can possibly be. The Bible says, “Life is like a vapor, it’s here for a moment then it’s gone.” I want to leave a legacy of an active healthy lifestyle for my children and to live life to the fullest.

So far, so good.

Jill Burress is a full-time Speech-Language Pathologist at NTID/RIT along with another full-time schedule of “randomness.” She is passionate about inspiring women to be the best they can be! Find her on Facebook and check out the free fitness classes available at Victory Church at discovervictory.com.

ROCHESTERWOMANMAG.COM :: AUGUST 2015

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