January 2015

january 2015

new year new purge

the power of

decision

fitness

rescued me

special section

her faith gives her

woman owned businesses in 2015

Strength & Hope

f o r a l l t h e t h i n g s t h at yo u a r e . . . r o c h e s t e r w o m a n

I

rochesterWomanMag.com :: january 2015

1

w w w. r o c h e s t e r w o m a n m a g . c o m

If you’re waiting for a rainy day to update your policy it could be too late.

Let me help you get the protection you need.

Call me today for a free Allstate protection review. I can help you identify the coverage options that are right for you. Don’t put it off another day.

VINCENZO SCOLLO AGENCY 585-381-3530 835 Fairport Road East Rochester vscollo@allstate.com

Subject to terms, conditions, qualifications and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Co., Allstate Indemnity Co., Allstate Vehicle and Property Insurance Co. Northbrook, IL. © 2012 Allstate Insurance Co.

116891

One agent for all your insurance needs.

january OUT & ABOUT 7

8

HEALTHY WOMAN 8 FAB FINDS 10 FASHION FORWARD 12 IN HER OWN WORDS

14

SPECIAL SECTION: Women Owned Business

16

TALKING BACK: Houston, We Have a Problem 24 menoPAUSE MINUTE: Matters of the Heart

57

26

SNAP OUT OF IT! 28

14

LEADING WOMAN: Heather Nichting

32

COVER STORY: Amy Pierson

34

LOCAL BUSINESS MATTERS 42 POSITIVE MIND/POSITIVE LIFE

44

FOR A GOOD CAUSE: Parenting Village

46

TIPS FOR WOMEN 48 FITNESS: Who or What is the New You

50

QUEEN OF ARTS 52 YOU CAN DO IT 54 RW INSPIRES 57

16

EVENTS CALENDAR 61 WOMEN ENTREPRENEUR: Renee Nearpass

62

READS & WRITES: The Corner Stone

64

50

24

34

42

LETTER FROM THE

OUR TEAM...

publishers new and better things in the year to come. The purge can be anything from belongings to baggage of any kind, whether it be physical things, emotional or otherwise. Read her words of wisdom on page [28].

“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within” – Maya Angelou As we turn the page on a new year, for many of us it is a time of reflection — an opportunity to step back, take a breath and decide what we would like to accomplish in the year ahead.

Many of us will choose to continue on the same path; others may decide to look in a new direction and pursue other opportunities and adventures. No matter how you look at it, January is a perfect time to rediscover, reinvent and refocus on the new year and the “new” you.

The definition of courage is, “strength in the face of pain or grief.” In our minds Amy Pierson, widow of slain officer Daryl Pierson, is the epitome of that definition. We’ve all witnessed that strength since that tragic day in September — from her poise and composure as she spoke so eloquently at her husband’s funeral, to the countless interviews she’s done since then. When we finally had the opportunity to meet Amy at her home for our photo shoot, she was just as we expected: warm, kind and gracious. You can read Amy’s inspiring story on page [34].

For many of us, beginning a new year means letting go of the past and starting off with a clean slate, so to speak. In this month’s Snap Out of It column, Margaret Madigan tells us how we can “purge” the old and make room for

This month we introduce a new column

by Shannon Joy of WYSL radio. Shannon hosts a talk show weekdays from noon until 1 p.m. In her show, Talking Back with Shannon Joy, she addresses issues important to us as women, and she’s not afraid to tackle important topics from politics to Common Core. In this month’s column, Shannon talks about the national deficit and how it relates to us as a community. Read her column on page [24].

If you’re looking for a source of inspiration to start the new year, look no further than our In Her Own Words column on page [14]. In it, Kaydian Hayle talks about her struggles with several miscarriages and how her devotion to fitness rescued her from one of the most devastating times in her life.

Thanks for picking up this month’s issue of Rochester Woman Magazine.

We hope you enjoy this issue and share it with your friends and colleagues.

Here’s to a wonderful 2015 filled with great opportunities and much success.

Stay Warm,

Kelly & Barb

our team...

Publishers Kelly Breuer Barbara McSpadden Editor-in-Chief

Barbara McSpadden

associate editor Margaret Madigan

Creative DIRECTOR/designer Kelly Breuer

Photography

Ve Ja Broyld, Sr. Jennifer Gattelaro Stephen Reardon

Contributing Writers Katie Barry Joy Bergfalk Vanessa Cheeks Laura DiCaprio Rebecca Ferguson Kaydian Hayle Shannon Joy Cynthia Kolko Joan E. Lincoln Margaret Madigan Ashley Martin Sraddha Prativadi, MD Caurie Putnam Hayley Stauss Kit Teresi Elizabeth Warner, MD James Woods, MD

Advertise with us...

Unlike any other publication in the Rochester area, our feature articles address major topics that interest local women.

Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, home matters, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local Rochester women.

The print magazines are distributed locally in over 350 locations and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge.

on our cover

Amy Pierson, widow of RPD Officer Daryl Pierson with photography by Stephen Reardon Photography, with make-up by Joan E. Lincoln, and hair by Leah Jobin of Body Salon and Spa.

Contact our home office 585.727.9120 PO Box 90798 I Rochester, NY 14609 info@rochesterwomanmag.com Download our media kit at www.rochesterwomanmag.com The magazine is published 12 times a year by Rochester Woman Magazine, llc. 1115 E. Main Street, Box 60, Rochester NY 14609.

Copyright © 2014 Rochester Woman Magazine, llc.

No part of this magazine may be reproduced or republished without the consent of the publishers.

Rochester Woman Magazine is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork.

All such submissions become the property of Rochester Woman Magazine, llc. and will not be returned.

o&A

::OUT &

about

F OA

Lisa Lampanelli’s Leaner Meaner Tour Comes to the Auditorium Theatre, Feb 28th

Actor/comedian Lisa Lampanelli is Comedy’s Lovable Queen of Mean. Heralded as “more than a standup -- a standout,” by comedy legend Jim Carrey, Lampanelli is a cross between Don Rickles, Archie Bunker, and a vial of estrogen. She has won accolades from The King of All Media Howard Stern, who called her “a true original and a brilliant comedy mind who’ll steal the show every time.”

MOVIES Taken 3 – Jan 9 Liam Neeson returns as ex-government operative Bryan Mills, whose life is shattered when he’s falsely accused of a murder that hits close to home. As he’s pursued by a savvy police inspector, Mills employs his “particular set of skills” to track the real killer and exact his unique brand of justice.

Paddington – Jan 16 Paddington tells the story of the comic misadventures of a young Peruvian bear who travels to the city in search of a home. Finding himself lost and alone, he begins to realize that city life is not all he had imagined - until he meets the kindly Brown family who read the label around his neck that says “Please look after this bear. Thank you,” and offer him a temporary haven.

Mortdecai – Jan 23 Juggling some angry Russians, the British Mi5, his impossibly leggy wife and an international terrorist, debonair art dealer and part time rogue Charlie Mortdecai must traverse the globe armed only with his good looks and special charm in a race to recover a stolen painting rumored to contain the code to a lost bank account filled with Nazi gold.

The Seventh Son – Feb 6 In a time long past, an evil is about to be unleashed that will reignite the war between the forces of the supernatural and humankind once more. Master Gregory (Jeff Bridges) is a knight who had imprisoned the malevolently powerful witch, Mother Malkin (Julianne Moore), centuries ago. But now she has escaped and is seeking vengeance.

Summoning her followers, Mother Malkin is preparing to unleash her terrible wrath on an unsuspecting world.

Known for saying things that most people are afraid to think, Lisa Lampanelli’s raunchy, gut-busting performances are wildly popular at theaters across the U.S. and Canada. Lisa recently appeared in her latest one-hour special “Tough Love” which premiered on Comedy Central and is now available on CD/DVD. Cementing her rise, Lisa recently joined 17 other celebrities on the newest season of NBC’s “Celebrity Apprentice.” The fifth installment of the show, with the largest-ever lineup of famous faces competing for charities of their choice, was a ratings bonanza for NBC. As a final four contestant, Lisa raised well over $100,000 for the Gay Men’s Health Crisis.

This equal opportunity offender is a regular on late night television, and a frequent guest and guest host on Howard Stern’s Sirius satellite radio shows. She has also parlayed her love of Broadway into her own one-woman show, which is premiered in early 2013. Lampanelli joined the ranks of comedy greats with her 2009 HBO comedy special, “Long Live the Queen,” and that same year, released her first autobiography, Chocolate, Please: My Adventures in Food, Fat and Freaks. As a writer, Lisa also pens the monthly Women column in Playboy Magazine.

Her first Greatest Hits album was released earlier this year.

Tickets can be purchased at Ticketmaster.com, 800.745.3000 and the Theatre Box Office.

For more, please visit www.insultcomic.com and facebook.com/LisaLampanelli

Lynn Sherr to Speak at Susan B. Anthony Luncheon The National Susan B. Anthony Museum & House is proud to announce that the keynote speaker for the 2015 Susan B. Anthony Birthday Luncheon is Lynn Sherr, Pulitzer Prizewinning journalist and biographer. The annual luncheon will be held Wednesday, February 11, 2015, at the Joseph A. Floreano Rochester Riverside Convention Center.

Her most recent work, Sally Ride: America’s First Woman in Space, was released earlier this year and aptly illustrates the wonderful legacy of Susan B. Anthony. Sherr, who became close friends with Ride during her coverage of the space shuttle program, says Ride “acknowledged unequivocally that she wouldn’t be at NASA without the women’s movement and the social changes that had taken place”. Ms. Sherr is also the author of Failure Is Impossible: Susan B. Anthony in Her Own Words, a 1996 biography of the great reformer.

Throughout her career in journalism, Ms. Sherr has reported on an array of women’s issues, past and present, making her a perfect candidate to speak on the 2015 luncheon theme, Thanks to Susan B., We Can Reach for the Stars!, a celebration of the impact Susan B. Anthony’s life and work has had on subsequent generations of women.

“Sally Ride made her way into space, and the history books, over thirty years ago. Yet, recent statistics show that women only make up 24% of those working in STEM fields,” says Deborah L. Hughes, President & CEO of the National Susan B. Anthony Museum & House. “This luncheon will interest anyone fascinated by space and those advocates for advancing opportunities for women and girls in STEM.” The Susan B. Anthony Luncheon is held each year in mid-February to celebrate Susan B. Anthony’s February 15th birthday, to honor contemporary women who continue her legacy, and to raise awareness of the educational and inspirational programs offered by the Museum.

For more information visit: susanbanthonyhouse.org.

woman ::healthy

focus on 8

Yourself

january 2015 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

::healthy

woman

HW

by ashley martin January has now arrived and the hustle and bustle of the holiday’s are over. The new year is here and it’s now time to focus on yourself - what we call in the wellness world as a “ a new you for the new year”. It is very common for many of us to start the New Year with a “Grand” resolution. The overall majority of people will focus on overall health, weight loss, or work ethic. In our office we routinely will hear clients swear to lose weight, stop smoking or even join the local gym. There is another resolution that you can complete in one week, which will help weight loss, hormone balance, increased energy, a healthy connection to food and an overall rejuvenation of the body.

Although a one-week resolution seems easy and exciting we need to understand what happens in our body that needs to be rejuvenated. You know that aging will likely cause you to develop wrinkles and gray hair. But do you know how the aging process will affect your teeth, heart and sexuality? Do you notice that you are tired all the time and your eyes constantly remain heavy with sleep?

Your body is aching in places it didn’t before, and your mind is fogged with unresolved stresses and emotions that have been harbored over time.

These can be symptoms of toxins that accumulate in our body as the body ages. It is important to remember that most of the accumulation of waste and breakdown of everything ingested happens in the liver. By detoxifying the liver you will allow your body to enhance its metabolism and rid these wastes like you did when you were younger. For just a moment think of the last time you celebrated a special occasion by going to a great restaurant. You ate everything you liked and it all tasted so good.

Suddenly when they come to ask whether or not you’d like dessert or coffee, you feel stuffed and exhausted. In fact, you’d rather take a nap than order an espresso! That exhausted feeling happens because your body needs all your energy (and reserve energy) to start to break down the food. You hardly can remember that scenario when you were 20! In fact, when you were in your 20’s right after a meal you ran out for heavy exertion tasks. It requires a tremendous amount of energy, to generate the enzymes required to break down and process your meal so that you can use the nutrition part and eliminate the waste. The process to digest doesn’t change – it’s your bodies ability to handle the load that changes with aging. If one were to theoretically increase their metabolism and increase their filtration of waste products and toxins they wouldn’t feel so badly. The time has come to detoxify your liver.

So exactly what are toxins? Toxins, by the most basic definition, are any substances that have harmful effects on your body. Toxins are unavoidable in our world of processed foods, high stress and pollution. Toxins will invade our bodies from these three main

sources: the environment, personal lifestyle and the body’s own metabolic processes. That means in our everyday life we are exposed daily to chemicals, pesticides, water contaminants, food preservatives, heavy metals and electromagnetic radiation. Other toxins may come from cosmetics, nicotine, alcohol, stress and dietary choices. When incoming toxins exceed the liver’s ability to remove them, it is termed toxic burden.

Now what about the liver is so important that it needs detoxing?

As mentioned earlier, your liver is both the MAIN organ for detoxing (which your body is naturally doing all the time) as well as a digestive organ. Your liver is the largest gland in the body and a true powerhouse, assimilating and packaging nutrients for use while detoxifying hundreds of chemicals in two distinct phases. This process is called biotransformation. Optimal biotransformation depends on the capability of the liver to handle this load and not being tied up with foreign waste products and medicines.

If the liver is not functioning properly, every other system in the body, including the heart, brain, kidneys and skin, is compromised.

Did you know that in your lifetime, you will consume between 30 and 50 tons of food. Your gastrointestinal (GI) system is responsible for breaking down every healthy and unhealthy food, absorbing useful compounds and eliminating the rest. So our liver, in close association with the GI system, works to remove toxins that we encounter from the food we eat as well as those produced by metabolic processes. Most of the toxic compounds the body is exposed to are fat-soluble.

These substances are attracted to the body’s fat cells, which serve as a type of insulation and protect the rest of the body from toxic effects. There are many detox solutions available; one created and distributed by Vitalize Medical Center is called The Core Restore Program. Just like your car needs periodic oil and filter changes, your body needs periodic detoxification to clean out accumulated toxins. When you feel sluggish and achy, the “check engine” light has come on and your system needs to be cleaned. Even if you are not experiencing negative symptoms, the Core Restore program is recommended every six to twelve months for continued health, or to address health concerns, such as fatigue, sinus congestion, brain fog, indigestion, bloating, and muscle aches and pains.

Once a detoxification process is completed, most people express a feeling of a greater sense of wellbeing. They have more energy, feel younger and have a more positive outlook.

So take some time in the New Year to focus on yourself, tackle those resolutions with gusto and make some positive changes to the new you.

Vitalize is the region’s first comprehensive Female & Male Wellness Center. Our dedicated office specializes in the common concerns of both men and women.

For more information, visit www.vitalizemedicalcenter.com.

rochesterWomanMag.com :: january 2015

9

Find Your Exercise

::fabulous

finds

Zen in 2015

10

january 2015 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

::fab

Last January, the University of Scranton conducted research to discover the top 10 New Year’s resolutions for 2014. Two resolutions that made the list were “staying fit and healthy” (number five) and “lose weight” (number one) — both of which really aren’t surprising. The research also found that 40 percent of Americans make resolutions like these, but only 8 percent actually achieve their goals. Also, not surprising.

It’s not easy going from little to no activity to working out excessively at the gym — and it’s not fun! That’s why our staff has come up with some creative ways to work out without even knowing it. Check out these unique ideas to find your exercise Zen this year.

Play a musical instrument

According to calorielab.com, a 150-pound guitarist playing in a rock band on stage can burn up to 136 calories an hour, while drumming burns 204. Some rigorous violin or piano playing can burn 102. Whether the music is classical or classic rock, playing an instrument is a great way to stay active. Instruments can be expensive, so consider renting or buying them. The House of Guitars (thehouseofguitars.com) on Titus Ave in Irondequoit carries used instruments and offers lessons, and the Guitar Center (guitarcenter.com) on Jefferson Rd. offers rentals.

Bike to work

With biking there’s nothing but benefits. Women who bike 30-plus minutes a day have a lower risk of breast cancer, and three hours of biking per week reduces the risk of heart disease and stroke by 50 percent, reports PeopleForBikes, a movement that advocates for biking on a national level. A few Rochester shops were you can rent or purchase bikes include Towpath Bike (towpathbike.com) in Shoen Place and Park Ave Bike (parkavebike.com) on Jay Scutti Blvd. and Monroe Ave.

Garden

Gardening benefits green thumbs twofold: Not does only all that weed-pulling, digging and planting burn, on average, 200 to 400 calories per hour (according to WebMd), but the fruits and vegetables produced do your body better than any processed foods purchased at the grocery store. Not a green thumb? Consider joining the Rochester Garden Club (rochestergardenclub. org), the Fairport Garden Club (fairportgardenclub.org) or the Henrietta Garden Club (henriettagardenclub.org).

Volunteer for a cause

Consider joining a cause that gets you outdoors, like the Flower City Habitat for Humanity (rochesterhabitat.org), which “has built or renovated over 200 non-profit houses that have been sold to selected families through interest-free mortgages.” Consider putting together a team for the annual Woman Build. If you’re not comfortable using tools, perhaps a local organized walk or run that donates proceeds to a philanthropic effort is the choice for you. Try the Pink Ribbon Run/Walk on May 10th at Genesee Valley Park. The race donates proceeds to the Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester.

Get a standing desk or stability ball

People spend, on average, five hours and 41 minutes a day sitting at a desk, reports the British Psychological Society. According to juststand.org, a 150-pound person who stands three hours a day burns 103 calories more than a person who sits for three hours. A study conducted through the American Cancer Society found that women who spent six or more hours a day sitting had a 40 percent higher death rate than women who sat for three hours or less. From this statistic alone, consider getting a standing desk. However, if standing’s not something you’re interested in or are able to physically do, consider replacing your desk chair with a stability ball. Researchers at the State University of New York Buffalo discovered that people who use stability balls burned four times more calories per hour than those who sat in an office chair. You can find standing desks at Staples (staples.com), and stability balls at Dick’s Sporting Goods (dickssportinggoods.com) or Target (target.com).

finds

FF

forward :fashion

New Year NEW LIST

By Joan Lincoln We know it’s coming. It’s no surprise! Like the Holiday that just passed in the blink of an eye! What makes the month of January a month of reorganizing, rejuvenating and reevaluating. Is it the nesting of those of us in the Upstate region that finds ourselves hibernating throughout the winter months? I happen to enjoy this time of the year. It can give us the opportunity to make that list of all the things we want to do, should do, and probably need to do. The key is prioritizing and putting a plan into action to accomplish at least one thing on the list.

The LIST:

How does one go about preparing The List? Just do it! Write down the things that you need to do for yourself. This is not a selfish way to start The List just a smart way to kick-off the New Year because if you aren’t prepared and ready for the task of addressing the List then who will be?

My List started with my annual mammogram, MRI, and genetic testing for breast cancer appointments ~ so far so good I am grateful to report.

The List should not be a complete overhaul of your life; try to recognize some easy, feel good entries, like getting that massage you hear everyone else talking about. Have a makeup lesson and purchase three new items that will brighten not only your face but also your creativity and enhance your wardrobe.

Resolutions:

These have never worked for me. You will read millions of resolutions this month and How-To-Guides to weight loss and improving yourself.

If we all just made a conscious decision and approached our lives with my Mom’s favorite saying “Everything in moderation”, then we wouldn’t need to look in the mirror and ask ourselves “How did that happen?”

Change is constant...you never know what’s about to happen: There is constant change in our lives, you can count on it. Some of these changes hit you like a sucker punch “out of left field” some would say.

12

january 2015 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

How you react and respond to these moments clearly define the type of person you are. My dear brother Mark who lost his battle with breast cancer at the early age of 44 in 2001, told me one week before passing “ As long as you get to wake up in the morning, everything else should be icing on the cake” That is the motto that I live by. Every one has a full plate of, some a platter, of challenges... we need to remind ourselves of this and pay it forward as often as we can. I love buying the order of the person behind me in the drive-thru line.

As you read through this issue and the amazing story of our Cover super hero Amy Pierson, I want you to know that meeting her, for me, was a life changing experience. She has this incredible calming effect on those in her circle. We all know she’s a special woman, as the stylist team prepared Amy for her cover photo I learned that she had never had her makeup applied before. When Amy looked at her reflection in the mirror prior to the photos being taken I could see a lift in her spirit. As we continued to select her wardrobe for the shoot we went from a collection of black and grey choices to a more vibrant selection of purple and blue... as she began the process of having her hair finessed for the shoot she started out saying “I thought my hair was already done” before the stylist arrived.

My new hero has a way of simplifying life and living in the moment...a clear reminder to us that all we have is NOW! So as you embrace the New Year and begin to make that LIST or address your resolutions, remember any change can be a good change. So clean out that closet, sign-up for that Yoga class, book that long overdue vacation. Just do it! Pay attention to the signals of your body, encourage a new communication style of “No put downs…pass it around”, be an inspiration to others, and always give back to your community!

See you in the New Year ... remember to live life with Panache!

Joan Lincoln owns Panache Vintage and Finer Consignment in Brighton Commons. Her Fashion Forward segment can also be heard every Thursday morning during Wake Up With Tony on WARM 101.3 exploring all of the latest fashion trends and styles.

an Extraordinary JournEy INSpIREd bY 5,000 YEARS Of dIvINE CULTURE HEAVENLY REALMS and timeless legends spring to life through classical Chinese dance.

Dazzling costumes, thunderous battle drums, and powerful flips fill the stage with color and energy. Exquisite melodies and animated backdrops uplift your spirit and transport you to another world.

Compassion, loyalty, and virtue lie at the heart of traditional Chinese culture. Almost lost under communist rule in China, this glorious heritage is finally being revived and shared with the world. Experience the wonder of authentic Chinese culture. Experience Shen Yun!

“5,000 years of Chinese music and dance in one night!.”

— The New York Times

“An explosion of color and sound.”

— Charlotte Observer

“Incredible!

Groundbreaking!”

—MSNBC NEWS

“Beautiful... A nimble mastery!”

— Chicago Tribute Based in New York, Shen Yun is th world’s premier classical Chinese dance and music company.

FEB 21-22

ROCHESTER AUDITORIUM THEATRE Great Holiday Gift Idea Order NOw fOr Best seats

ALL-NEW 2015 SHOW WITH SHEN YUN ORCHESTRA

FEBRUARY 21-22

ROCHESTER AUDITORIUM THEATRE

tICKets: $50- $120 Phone: 800-745-3000 Online: shenYun.com/rochester Hotline: 877-519-0905

ShenYun.com Presented by Upstate New York falun dafa association

words ::in her own

14

fitness

rescued me

january 2015 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

words

::in her own

By Kaydian Hayle | Photo by Jennifer Gattelaro “It’s happening again!” These were my words when I realized that my amniotic fluid was leaking and I was experiencing preterm labor for the 2nd time. Can you imagine how devastated my husband and I were, knowing that our attempt to bring a love child into this world was going to be another sad story? I was admitted into the hospital and spent New Year’s Day with my bed in an uncomfortable tilted position as the doctors tried everything they could to slow down the labor process. At that point, I was 23 weeks pregnant. If only I could get to 24 weeks, then they could try to save the baby.

Why? Again? All these questions kept racing through my mind as there were no definite answers. The Cervical Cerclage procedure didn’t help and we couldn’t do anything to change the outcome.

Just a few hours before I got to 24 weeks, I went into full labor.

He came out kicking with his long legs and I held him until his tiny heart stopped beating. River of tears gushed down my face when I held his lifeless body. Jeremy was born alive on January 2nd 2009 and passed away within seconds after his birth. My husband, Gilmore stayed with me at the hospital throughout the entire ordeal. He was the only strength I had at that time because I was in so much agony, turmoil and sadness that I didn’t want to face the world again. At midnight on New Year’s Day when our families and friends were calling to wish us a happy new year, we didn’t answer the phones. There was nothing to be jubilant about! Only pain, bitterness and anger were present. For days I stayed home and cried. I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone. When the breast milk started to flow, it made me cry even more uncontrollably because it reminded me that our little boy was gone.

Several weeks after being discharged from the hospital, my very good friend, Denise Haywood who had just returned from vacation called to check up on my pregnancy. I had to tell her the sad story of our loss. She broke down in tears because she knew how much we wanted to have a successful pregnancy. That very moment, Denise asked me if I wanted to go to the gym with her because it would help me to feel better. So hesitantly I agreed to go to the YMCA with her the next day.

True to her words, Denise picked me up the next day and we went to the gym. That was the 1st time I visited a gym in Rochester so it was like my 1st day of school. Denise had to show me how to operate the cardio machines and strength training ones as well. I remembered how unfit I was the 1st time she showed me how to use the elliptical. Even before I got to 5 minutes I wanted to quit because my legs were too weak to stay on it. I turned to her and told her that I just couldn’t do it. She looked at me with compassion in her eyes and said that I should try to stay on it a little bit longer.

With her daily encouragements, we went to the gym regularly until I started to feel stronger both physically and emotionally.

One day, Denise told me that she was thinking of joining the Jewish Community Center on Edgewood Avenue. I didn’t know what to expect but I was willing to try it. The moment I walked inside the building, I felt a warmth of care as I was greeted by the staff at the main desk. They were so friendly as were the members, so much so that I felt at home instantly. When I looked at the group fitness class schedules, I fell in love with the JCC instantly.

They offered so many classes and I wanted to try them all! After speaking to Barbara, the membership director, my hubby and I became members. I went to every class that was scheduled at a reasonable time because I told myself that the ones I liked I would

IWF

keep going to and the ones I didn’t like, I would never try again.

After taking a variety of classes, I found out that I really, really liked Zumba, especially the way Irene taught it. I was so captivated by the Latin rhythms that I wanted to be a Zumba Instructor too!

I enjoyed being at the JCC so much that Denise encouraged me to get a job there as a relief staff for the Women’s Spa. In June on 2009 after an interview with Ruby, I became a Women’s Spa Attendant. A few weeks later, I spoke to Eke, the Fitness and Wellness Director about working in the fitness center and my life imoroved even more. I learned so much about fitness and how to train people that in addition to teaching Zumba, I wanted to become a Personal Trainer too. In 2010, I became Zumba certified and was offered a class on Sunday mornings at 9:15AM. I took it! My 1st class was nerve-racking but the members said I was awesome and so I believed them. I kept on working out between my shifts as I increase my hours of work. The more I exercised, my body started to look and feel different. I wasn’t depressed anymore and with months of cardio and strength training I started to feel like a winner again after losing about 20 lbs. Exercise was definitely medicine for my body and soul.

In September of 2010 after going on a cruise to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary, I started to feel sick and my hubby insisted on taking a pregnancy test. Just imagine what our facial expressions were like when the pregnancy test was positive. If you guessed shocked, apprehensive or not excited, you were correct. The mere fact that we had experienced two preterm labors before that drained us both physically and emotionally, made it extremely difficult to be optimistic. Only a few family members and my coworkers knew because after two months my baby bump started to show.

Needless to say, at almost 16 weeks, I spent New Year’s Day 2011 in the hospital, experiencing preterm labor all over again. Believe it or not, on January 2nd our premature baby died during labor!

I cried and cried and cried even more when my workplace had flowers delivered to my home. I just couldn’t stop crying.

Two weeks later, I was back at work and restarted my exercise program. I had gained a lot of body fat over the past 16 weeks that I was determined to get rid of. My belly had lost all the muscle tone that I developed and I was eager to get back in shape. I trained moderately for about a month and then I started to work harder after my body was completely healed. After three months, I was close to my pre-pregnancy body. No longer was I a size 10! My incredible transformation reshaped my body into a muscular size two. I picked up the pieces and continued studying as well. In July of 2011, I became a Personal Trainer and TRX Instructor as a result of the encouragements of Ed, Nancy and Gerald who’ve been loyal members at the JCC for many years.

These days you can find me either at the JCC or LA Fitness teaching Zumba, Aqua Fit, Bodyworks Plus Abs, training my clients or training myself. I am extremely grateful that Denise introduced me to a healthy gym lifestyle. As difficult as this is to say, if it wasn’t for my preterm labors, I would not have met all the wonderful people whom I’ve helped on their fitness journeys or have this beautiful physique that I’ve worked so hard to achieve.

Fitness rescued me when I was going through the most devastating time of my life. Now at 32 years old, I strive to inspire others to overcome their circumstances and to never give up on themselves no matter how dismal life may seem.

rochesterWomanMag.com :: january 2015

15

suppo

Woman O

busine in 20

ort

Owned

ess 015

Holiday tablescapes + decor!

BOO K N OW !

151 PARK AVE ROCHESTER NY 14607 OPEN MON-FRI 9-6 + SAT 9-5 585 -244-1414 | WWW.STACYKFLORAL.COM

Metabolic crash course The 6-week simple solution for excess belly fat, insatiable cravings, and fatigue so you can upgrade your health and quality of life.

Make 2015 your year to reclaim your health.

Functional Nutrition & Transformational Coaching with Karin Franz

www.inspiredhealthybody.com

K

floral | events | dĂŠcor

     An Agency For Journeying Teachers | In Home lessons | Entertainment For All Occasions Diane Habeeb

Michael Gordona

37 Arlington Drive, Pittsford, NY 14534 585.247.0325 www.MusicOnTheMove.com 22

january 2015 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

team@idudesign.com www.idudesign.com

Did your parents take their pills today?

You know what a struggle it can be to help a senior loved one keep track of multiple pill-form medications, now there’s a solution — the MedaCube™ automated pill dispenser.

Automatic Dispensing: MedaCube does the tedious job of picking and dispensing pills while sitting unobtrusively on the kitchen counter.

Peace of Mind: Alerts you (the caregiver or family member) by text if a dose is missed or refills are needed.

IDU Creative Services 1-800-790-6021

Works for up to 3 months at a time: MedaCube holds a 90 day supply for up to 16 different medications, and plays friendly audio reminders to take the medications.

To learn more about this revolutionary new system, contact Duane Girdner at dgirdner@pharmadva.com or 585.469.1410.

www.PharmAdva.com

© 2015 PharmAdva LLC. All rights reserved.

PharmAdva 148124->Rochester Women’s Network Medacube 8.5x5.5 Ad.2.indd 1

12/22/14 10:40 AM

Enjoy the Best Coffee in Town, and Help Local Women Build an Independent Future Joy Bergfalk, Executive Director of the Coffee Connection, received national recognition this year when she was awarded the Roslyn S. Jaffe award with a prize of $25,000. For more information visit www.jaffeaward.

681 South Ave. Coffee Connection

2271 E. Main Greenhouse Cafe

4487 Lake Ave. Cannonball Cafe

www.ourcoffeeconnection.net

back

::SHIFT+CONTROL ::talking

Hous

24

january 2015 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

shannon joy

::talking back with

tb

ston

we have a problem

By Shannon Joy Imagine for a moment that you and your spouse are plunked down at the kitchen table to hash out the family budget for 2015. It’s a common task. You high five when the numbers line up and there’s a little left over! You stress out (and bicker over the Macy’s Card) when the balance sheet dips into the red. We adjust our habits and make hard choices based on the simple task of budgeting.

Now imagine that your personal budget looked a little something like this: Combined Family Income: Combined Family Expenses:

$50,000/Year $61,500/Year

Gulp. The annual deficit is $11,500. And it’s financed by credit cards and debt. And we all know the truth that one cannot spend more than one takes in for an extended period of time before one face bankruptcy and financial chaos!

But it gets worse. On top of that annual deficit, you’re carrying high interest debt on credit cards aconsumer loans. This debt has been growing for many years and the interest payments are consuming more and more of your annual income.

Total Family Debt: Interest Payments:

$300,000 $15,000/year

Houston … we have a problem.

A BIG problem. In fact, any family that faces a situation like this, risks losing everything; the house, the cars, the retirement, college educations and potentially the marriage. The financial picture above is a fiscal train wreck that will end in devastation if not addressed immediately and with major adjustments.

The above scenario (admittedly simplified but DEAD ON) is a snapshot of the current financial house of the United States of America.

Over the past three years (2012-2014) our politicians have spent on average about $3.5 trillion/year. They have collected tax revenues of about $2.75 trillion/year. The average deficit has been about

$750 billion each year. This deficit perches on top of a record 18 trillion dollar DEBT. That’s $18,006,227,691,918.87. This represents $56,000 per man, woman and child in America today.

And there is no end in sight as the national debt increases about 2 billion dollars EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. This unmitigated disaster of a “budget” is a bipartisan monster, built by Republicans and Democrats alike. The rate of debt & deficit has skyrocketed in the past 15 years under both presidents Bush and Obama, and both parties appear to agree on policies of massive borrowing on the backs of taxpayers, their children and their grandchildren.

Debt can hide, but only for a while. We might juggle the payments, refinance the car loans, take out new credit cards or maybe cash in on the equity of the house. But the laws of economics are as hard and fast as the laws of physics. Eventually the options run out and the house of cards comes tumbling down. This EXACT scenario has played out in households AND in empires since the beginning of recorded history. And it will happen in the United States if we don’t wake up, get smart and fight back!

The first step in recovery is to admit you have a problem. And we do. America has a spending problem, a borrowing problem, a waste, fraud & abuse problem and a massive corruption problem, just to name a few. And both Democrats and Republicans have created them!

The problems are vast but not insurmountable. There is always HOPE. And there ARE solutions. However, real reform will only come when we change our political paradigm and remove the labels. It’s time we hold accountable the career politicians in both parties for their mangling of our finances. And maybe … we should hold ourselves a bit accountable for letting them get away with it.

I invite you to read this column each month as I offer insight and commentary on politics in America. And tune in to my radio show Talking Back every day at noon on WYSL 1040AM & 92.1FM. We discuss the issues that matter to you, break them down and offer solutions! It’s talk radio … for girls!

rochesterWomanMag.com :: january 2015

25

minute ::SHIFT+CONTROL ::menopause

MATTERS OF THE

Heart

By James Woods, MD & Elizabeth Warner, MD

As they age, men and women differ in one of the most significant aspects of life—matters of the heart. No, not the emotional side of the heart, but the physical side of heart health. For many women in the United States, menopause presents a range of recognized symptoms including hot flashes, weight gain, mood swings, and vaginal pain and dryness on intercourse. These changes can affect quality of life but seldom are lethal. More insidious are risks of breast cancer and osteoporosis. Yet, heart disease is THE leading cause of death among women in America.

Common early symptoms of heart disease are more subtle for women than those for men. The classic male presentation is pain along the left arm and jaw coupled with tightening and pain in the chest. These recognized symptoms are likely to initiate an emergency room visit, immediate cardiac evaluation, and likelihood of coronary angiography with possible stent placement or coronary bypass surgery. For women, the early symptom of heart disease most frequently seen is unusual fatigue, but some women experience sleep disorders, shortness of breath, indigestion, anxiety, and even rarely, chest discomfort. These complaints are dismissed easily as reflecting the stresses of everyday life. The vague nature of these complaints helps explain the reduced use of cardiac evaluations when women present with these symptoms.

Healthcare providers need to have a high index of suspicion when evaluating women with fatigue and/or these other symptoms to consider cardiac disease after ruling out anemia, thyroid disease, depression, and anxiety along with other more rare disorders.

The biologic differences in heart disease between men and women help explain the contrasting symptoms. For men, a heart attack is preceded by a series of biologic events in which oxidized cholesterol damages the endothelial cells lining the coronary arteries. These damaged cells draw immune cells from the blood into the coronary artery wall where they help develop into a space occupying plaque which can lead to compromised blood flow. If and when this plaque 26

january 2015 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

finally ruptures, a thrombus (clot) blocks the artery leading to cardiac muscle damage and possible death. For women, presumably due to the unique hormonal environment, only tiny lipid plaques form and are distributed throughout the smaller coronary blood vessels, which probably explains the more subtle symptoms of women’s heart disease.

Both family history and lifestyle contribute to defining a person’s risk of heart disease. A strong family history increases risk, and that component of heart health is non-preventable. In contrast, we can control many lifestyle factors. Smoking is the leading modifiable risk factor linked to heart disease, yet obesity is not far behind. Estimates are that two-thirds of menopausal women are overweight or obese, and with obesity comes increased insulin resistance and a heightened risk of diabetes. While our subcutaneous (SQ) fat is esthetically unpleasant, it is the visceral fat (around our organs and inside our abdomen) that produces many of the inflammatory proteins linked to heart disease.

Moreover, visceral fat cells also exist as a thin fat layer lying directly on our blood vessels, thereby giving their inflammatory proteins direct access to our circulation. Fortunately, studies have shown that weight loss efforts (diet and exercise) can reduce both SQ and visceral fat.

While women’s heart health may seem complex, we have made significant advances in educating both providers and women regarding identifying at-risk groups and early diagnosis of heart disease. There is now more emphasis than ever on preventive and predictive measures in women’s heart health with the hope of decreasing heart disease as the leading killer of women.

James Woods MD is a practicing gynecologist certified in menopausal medicine and a regular contributor to Rochester Woman Magazine.

Elizabeth Warner, MD, is a retired gynecologist living in Rochester, NY. For questions regarding this menopause minute or other menopausal issues you would like to see addressed in future editions, please call him at (585) 271-7800 or email him at james_woods@urmc.rochester.edu.

Obstetrics and Gynecology

Henry Hess, MD, PhD

Jim Woods, MD

We specialize in perimenopausal and menopausal care and welcome new patients.

To make an appointment, please call 585.271.7800.

Hess/Woods/Warshof Obstetrics and Gynecology 2255 South Clinton Avenue Rochester, NY14618 Kalin Warshof, MS, RN, FNP-BC

it! ::snap out of 28

New

Year, NewPurge

january 2015 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

it!

:snap out of,

SIF SF

By Margaret Madigan It’s a new year… I bet you didn’t know that, huh? Yes yes, and you are being bombarded with New Year’s Day kitsch and people telling you what you should do for the New Year. New Year’s Day sales…

“Buy this!” “Buy that!” Make resolutions! Lose weight now!

Well, here’s my two cents. I don’t want you to buy anything. Really, please don’t buy a thing. I do want you to lose something though.

No, it’s not weight, unless of course you really want to then knock yourself out. I do want you to lose junk, baggage, grudges, clutter, bad people and bad vibes. ‘Tis the season to purge, eradicate, eliminate, liquidate, exfoliate, expunge, sluice, slough and molt.

I’ve recently experienced that throwing crap away has done me a world of good. Cleansed my soul even. It’s funny because it first came to me almost two years ago. I was moving and I thought it’s really time to get rid of some of this stuff. Ya’ know, broken or beat up furniture, my 15 year old mattress, my son’s 18 year old mattress, stuff that didn’t fit, ugly Christmas tablecloths garnered in a Secret Santa exchange that I hadn’t ever used in 10 years… Then about six months after that I got a little bolder. I don’t know what got into me; it came on like a sudden gust of wind from the Staten Island dump that jolted my senses. I decided it was time to get rid of the old furniture.

When I moved, I moved temporarily into my boyfriend’s house. He has a four bedroom house packed to the gills so there was no room for anything of mine, so I put it in storage. I went into the unit one day and needed to shift stuff around to get to things and it was really tight and I said to myself, “Self, that couch and loveseat have got to go”. Now, since my divorce 14 years ago I’ve been incredibly cheap. I have hung onto crap because I knew I could never afford another one of it. Especially furniture. I lost jobs, my ex didn’t pay child support, it was always one thing or another causing me to teeter from side to side of the poverty line. Anyway, I couldn’t afford to replace things.

But I started to do better financially and I thought, by the time I move into a new place I can afford it. Even if I can’t, we’ll sit on the floor, I need to do this. I got rid of the couch and loveseat that I got in 1997 while we were married. OUR furniture, marital property. It was good Ethan Allen furniture but it had been through three kids from infancy to teendom spilling various things on it and having fannies with leaky diapers sitting on it. It had also been through two dogs, a cat, and an incontinent adult (which was probably the worst offense). I was even using a slip cover but who was I kidding?

It looked like I was living in a College Heights apartment, and there should be an empty keg in the corner and a bong under the couch.

It felt good, a little scary but good. But I needed to stop worrying.

Some have a theory that to make room for new things you need to get rid of old things, clear a space for the Universe to bring you good things. I believe if I continue to work hard and focus on the future,

what I need, will come. Oh by no means do I think it’s magic. But I do believe in the power of will, intention, and asking the universe.

No, I don’t own a 16 disc set from some self-help guru, I just intuitively believe in… let’s call it the power of positive thinking.

Then I hit the closets and drawers. You know all those pants and dresses that you’ve been hanging onto for ten years because if you “just lose ten pounds” you can fit in them? Well guess what they aren’t even in style anymore. Get. Rid. Of. Them! I did. Stuff I hadn’t worn in years thinking it might come in handy someday… gone. I even found missives to and from my ex-husband, and an old boyfriend’s (very bad, very toxic old boyfriend) phone numbers… threw all them out. I even found old lingerie from relationships past, what the hell was I gonna’ use that for again, it didn’t even fit?

Gone.

I’ve also decided to stop answering texts, emails, Facebook posts, Tweets, and so on from people that are just no good for me. You know that guy that you were nuts about but just manages to get under your skin and makes you angry but you just can’t manage to stay away? I just said no, finally. So should you.

I also did another interesting thing. It seems I was hanging onto a few hurts, grudges, and failures. Yes, failures. I didn’t think that was possible but I was. I didn’t realize I was doing it. All my failures kept running on an endless loop in my head and every time a new one happened I’d chalk it up to “That’s just me and my crappy life”. I was a 5’2” redheaded version of Eeyore. What I didn’t realize is I was perpetuating the failures, bad luck, whatever you want to call it. Even some of the “failures” I was hanging onto weren’t even real failures! They were stories that I told myself were failures.

So I did a great exercise. First I wrote down each thing I thought was a failure, I addressed it, acknowledged it happened, told myself to snap out of it if it wasn’t a real thing, then I told myself what I had learned from that experience and how it actually had a valuable lesson. Then, I envisioned a basket filled with little orbs, each one was labeled with one of those failures. I had all of my perceived failures in a basket and I pictured standing on the shore of an ocean.

I took out the orbs one by one, said goodbye and threw them into the ocean and pictured them exploding on impact and dissolving into the sea. That was so I couldn’t dive down to the bottom of the water later and retrieve them, know what I’m sayin’?

I felt an enormous weight lift off me. I feel healthier, cleaner, more positive, more whole. You should try it too. To start off a great 2015… just get rid of your literal and figurative junk.

Margaret “Madge” Madigan in the Associate Editor of Rochester Woman Magazine, and author of the best selling book, “When Life Gives You Lemons…At Least You Won’t Get Scurvy!”

rochesterWomanMag.com :: january 2015

29

When a couple brings together the most important people in their lives, to celebrate the most important day of their lives, it has to be a special place.

We invite you to plan your wedding to remember at The Inn on the Lake.

2015 and 2016 dates still available! Contact our sales team today to schedule an appointment!

The Inn on the Lake 770 South Main Street Canandaigua, NY 14424 585-394-7800 - 1-800-228-2801 - www.theinnonthelake.com

Lollypop Farm

By Rebecca L. Ferguson | Photo by VeJay Broyld, Sr.

woman

“Just don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong.” – Ella Fitzgerald

::leading

After spending a little time with Heather Nichting, owner of Regain Physical Therapy and Wellness, one is left feeling inspired by her genuine love, commitment and tenacity for her work with patients. Passionate in all she does, Nichting says, “I just love, love, love coming to work…everyone does, right?”

A graduate of Nazareth College in 2003, Nichting recalls her schooling and the manner in which she was instructed to deliver exceptional care to every patient, “One on one is how I was taught and that is how I have always practiced.” She further explains, “of course a company can make more money when seeing multiple patients in a block of time, but for me, it has always been about the patient and what is best for their treatment.”

Nestled in the picturesque village of Pittsford, NY along the canal on Monroe Avenue, Regain Physical Therapy PLLC, opened their doors for business in September of 2012.

With strong growth just months after the grand opening, Nichting credits her success to creating and maintaining personal relationships with every person she encounters. This individualized approach with focused one-on-one attention, along with a all-encompassing outlook on overall wellness, business continues to grow. Nichting says, “word of mouth has brought so many new clients and is a tremendous compliment to the work we are doing.” Her husband Mike Nichting joined Regain Physical Therapy in March of 2013, leaving a position with M&T Bank to allow Heather more time with patients as business was growing so rapidly. Since opening with just one other therapist besides herself, they have since brought on two additional therapy assistants to accommodate demand.

She further describes, “My patients have inspired me so much and I strive to deliver that same inspiration…we really do, we really all inspire one another and there has not been one day in my career that I have not looked forward to coming into work. If I have to come in a little earlier or stay a little later to accommodate the needs of my patients, I will. There is great reward in seeing someone achieve their goal.”

Her upbeat tempo and cheerful demeanor is a perfect complement to the spacious environment ready to greet anyone who walks through the door. With friendly staff, a soothing, sophisticated milieu and state of the art equipment, every aspect provides an optimal environment for healing.

Without exception patients can expect their entire therapy session to be not only private, but spent with the therapist assigned for the duration of the appointment. “If that means thirty minutes or a full hour, we never double book and we will never leave to see someone else,” says Nichting. This individualized motto certainly sets Regain Physical Therapy and Wellness apart from the rest.

And patients are thriving. vRegain works with a wide range of impairments, disabilities, or any changes in physical function due to injury, surgery and/or disease process. Nichting and her staff also work with persons requiring physical therapy after a stroke or neurological deficit. Keeping up to date with continuing education, Nichting and staff are constantly attending educational seminars in conjunction with obtaining the latest certifications, enhancing their individual practice with the latest innovations offered. Other services include wheelchair evaluations to advise individuals on proper seating and positioning.

One-On-One Care is the Key to Success 32

january 2015 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

With continued growth and success Nichting looks into the future with plans to broaden the scope of overall wellness.

Collaborating with current patients and the community, Nichting feels being proactive about our health is the key. She has been working closely with colleagues to bring a unique approach regarding community outreach and expansion within. Educational seminars and nutritional supports are among the many ideas being discussed and the vision is to create a platform empowering each patient to advocate for their individual health.

For further information please visit www.regainpt.com

CS

::cover

story

her faith gives her

Strength &

By Caurie Putnam-Ferguson | Photos by Stephen Reardon Photography

“If you need to you can spend the night,” she offers. “It’s bad out! I don’t want you getting in an accident.”

It was a brutally cold and icy November night when I arrived at a home in East Rochester.

In that instant…that first impression, I saw Amy’s character: caring, kind, genuine.

The home was surrounded by others displaying blue lights in their windows: the universal symbol of remembrance for a fallen police officer. In the front yard of the home was a homemade sign: “God bless your family.”

Precious vessel

Amy Pierson, the widow of Rochester Police Officer Daryl Pierson, opened the door when I knocked.

I notice her gingerly touch a lovely, silver necklace around her neck and ask what it is. Amy tells me it is a “Precious Vessel” necklace, made for her by Richards & West Jewelers of East Rochester. Inside the silver vessel are particles of sand from the beach where she and Daryl married in 2004. On the outside of the vessel are two hearts, intertwined.

It was less than eight weeks since her husband was killed in the line of duty in the city of Rochester. I was arriving a half hour late for our interview – the ice had caused an accident in the city and traffic had been slowed.

Amy welcomes me out from the cold and into her warm home.

Before I can offer apologies for being late and condolences on her profound loss she greets me with a warm smile and apologizes that I had to drive in such nasty weather.

34

january 2015 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

After introductions to Amy and Daryl’s beautiful children Christian, 5, and Charity, 6 months, and Amy’s mother and sister-in-law, Amy and I retreat to a quiet place to talk.

The vessel represents everything that’s important to Amy at this moment in time: her memories of Daryl; their children; and the kindness and generosity of strangers.

Prior to Daryl’s death, Amy did not know the jewelers who made her “Precious Vessel” necklace, but they, like so many, came forward and reached out to her.

::cover

story

Hope cover

rochesterWomanMag.com :: january 2015

35

story ::cover 36

january 2015 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

::cover

story

cs

“If there is anything I want people to know from this article it is that everyone has done more than they could do for us,” Amy said. “I never expected the response we’ve received from the community. We could not be getting more support and this is one example.”

We begin our interview with the sand…

The sand “I thought he was so handsome,” said Amy remembering the day she met Daryl in 2002 at a little party hosted by Daryl’s brother Brett, whom Amy’s brother went to high school with.

The physical attraction was mutual and instant.

“We were young and had a lot of things in common,” Amy said. “We had a lot of fun together.”

As they began to know each other on a deeper level, Amy was wowed by Daryl’s character.

“He was the most disciplined person I’ve ever known,” Amy said. “He was steady and determined; so steady and so calm.”

They married on a beach in Cape Hatteras on the Outer Banks of North Carolina on August 2, 2004. It was a beach Amy had grown up going to with her close-knit family and where Daryl proposed to her the year before. They had a small, intimate, ceremony with those closest to them.

The next day there was a hurricane.

“The weather was fine, but it turned into a hurricane overnight,” Amy said.

Together they weathered the storm and it didn’t ruin a thing.

The two hearts

Amy and Daryl were married for five years before Christian was born on September 19, 2009.

“I liked the spiritual relevance of it,” said Amy, about their first born child’s name.

Charity entered their lives on May 19, 2014.

“Daryl picked Charity,” Amy said. “He liked the sound of it.”

Their route to parenthood had not been easy – Amy had suffered several miscarriages, but she knew even before they married that Daryl would be an amazing father and they had wanted a family badly.

“For us they were both miracles,” said Amy of the births of their children.

Amy delighted in seeing Daryl interact with their two hearts.

“He was an exceptional father,” Amy said. “He was more involved than anyone I’ve ever seen. He was a family man.”

With Christian he loved to play sports, especially soccer. He took an active role in teaching him things, like potty training and how to write his name. They would often go on bike rides and to the park.

With baby Charity he was completely smitten. “ He was nervous about having a girl,” Amy recalled. “But instantly they had that father, daughter bond. He loved being a Dad.”

rochesterWomanMag.com :: january 2015

37

::cover

story

::cover

Charity was born five weeks early – a blessing in disguise at the time.

“Because of that he [Daryl] almost doubled the amount of time he had with her,” Amy said. “The timing was one of God’s blessings.”

As a couple, Amy and Daryl were solid and best friends.

“We weren’t perfect,” Amy said. “But we had commitment and love. The last year we had together was amazing.”

The things that he loved

In addition to Amy, Christian, and Charity, there was something else Daryl, an Army National Guardsman who had served in Korea and Kuwait loved: police work.

“The things that he loved came naturally to him,” Amy said. “These two things, being a dad, and being a police officer, were his natural desires.”

When Amy became a police wife she took comfort in these facts and more.

“I am a logical thinker,” Amy said. “I knew there was a less than 1 percent chance he would ever suffer a fatal or career ending injury. I didn’t fixate on the possibilities; I was just very supportive and proud of what he did.”

When two Rochester Police Department sergeants came to the Pierson home at approximately 9:40 p.m. on September 3, 2014, she focused on facts and faith.

As they took her lights and sirens to Rochester General Hospital she got on her smart phone and asked her friends and family on Facebook to pray; when she arrived she wanted information.

“I kept asking the doctors for statistics and chances,” said Amy about the forty five minutes she spent in the family waiting area of the hospital before she learned Daryl’s injuries – initially “critical,” then “grave,” had become fatal.

After she was given the devastating news she went to him. She held his hand and put her head on his chest.

“I stayed there a pretty long time,” Amy said. “I always thought of him as invincible despite his job. I never imagined losing him.”

God has carried me

Amy has lost her husband; her children have lost their father.

“Charity is never going to know that father-daughter bond,” Amy said.

“I’m angry my children are going to miss these things with their father. I am devastated for what they’re going to lose.”

She has not lost her faith, though.

“God has carried me from the beginning,” said Amy of the time that has passed since the two sergeants came to her door. “For me and my children there could never be enough good to make losing Daryl worth it; but a lot of good has come out of this.”

The good includes the love they have felt from their friends and extended family; the Rochester Police Department; the greater law enforcement community around the world; and complete strangers with no ties to law enforcement at all.

“People from everywhere have wanted to do something for us,” Amy said.

story

cs

“In time I really want to find a way to give back to the community. I’ve kept a meticulous record of everything we’ve been given and have kept every card with the intention of replying someday.”

She wants to reply, as time consuming and exhausting as it may be, out of choice.

“This world belongs to people with free will,” Amy said.

Free will includes the choice to do wonderful things – like the community has done for her – and to do wonderful things in return – which she knows she will do someday.

Free will also includes the choice to horrible things.

“God does not cause these things or will them,” said Amy, of the murder of her husband. “God is not responsible for this. This world belongs to people with free will.”

Free will

Amy has made some choices regarding the man accused of killing her husband.

“I do forgive him,” Amy said. “But I do want him to pay for what he did in this life.”

She has been and plans to be at every court proceeding to give a face and meaning to the loss of her husband and father of her children.

“I want to be very much part of the [legal] process and don’t intend to leave the courtroom during any point in the process,” said Amy. “I am choosing to do this.”

Amy knows many in the community have used words like “strong” and “courageous” to describe how she has handled Daryl’s death.

“When people give me credit for strength I appreciate it,” she said. “But I don’t see myself that way.”

She speaks out about her husband for his memory and for their children.

“I want people to know his life, not his death,” Amy said. “I want to take tragedy to mission.”

The plans I have for you

Amy finds herself repeating the words of Jeremiah 29:11 often these days: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Although she says she is living day to day at the moment, she does have hope in the future for Charity, Christian and herself.

So many uncertainties about the future are before her, but she is certain about one thing: giving back to the community that has embraced Daryl’s memory, their two hearts, and her.

“I’ve become so aware of so many wonderful organizations in the community because of my own grieving,” Amy said. “I have a strong desire to get involved with volunteer work when the time is right.”

No doubt she will know when that season is. rochesterWomanMag.com :: january 2015

39

matters

By Vanessa J. Cheeks | Photo by Ve Ja Broyld, Sr

::local business

You don’t practice yoga for over 20 years without learning to be a little flexible and flexible is exactly how you’d describe Molly Huff.

Owner of Molly’s Yoga Corner in Fairport the devoted athlete began practicing yoga to combat injuries sustained while running and much like the rest of her career, what followed was one surprise after another.

“It just kind of happened” explained Huff about how she came to yoga, “I was finding I was having a lot of injuries, I started just taking classes with Mark.” Those first classes were what began her journey into teaching. “About a year into taking classes with him he basically said you need to teach yoga” and teach she did. Huff started simply with unlocking the studio door and before long she was into serious teacher training.

Molly began working intensively with who she refers to as her true teacher, Esther Meyers in Canada, gaining 700 hours and 3.5 years of rigorous preparation and when she was done, she was again encouraged to open her own studio.

“She said you need to go out on your own, you need to do this.”

Recalled Huff and that is exactly what she did. In 2000 she opened her Fairport Location with the idea that it would be a casual, unpretentious studio for all levels of yoga enthusiasts that emphasizes family and honesty.

“My son actually named my studio when he was 12. He said I think you should name it Molly’s Yoga Corner” said Huff who admits to not having much of a business sense but, learned what she needed to be successful.

“I had no business plan, I’m not a business person…I think I learned some things but I did it from the gut” explained Huff.

Leading with instinct has proven successful for Huff who recently opened a second studio on Monroe Avenue. Another spur of the moment opportunity she could not turn away.

“It’s been crazy but doable. Juggling all of that can be kind of challenging” said Huff. In the same space she took her first yoga lesson, Molly’s Yoga Corner on Monroe has an identical “mom and pop” atmosphere and that’s the way Huff likes it. In her studios you won’t find juice bars or retail space but rather a simplistic and, as she puts it, “old school” approach to Yoga.

“I think a lot of people are gravitating and coming back to the simplicity, you don’t have to wear your 100 dollar pair of yoga pants, it’s like the Cheers bar.” While both studios feature a variety of classes that welcome any skill level, it is the idea of yoga as a long term benefit to physical and mental well-being that Huff focuses on for every class. “The cool thing about yoga is that it’s a practice.

It’s how you live your life on and off the mat, it is where life meets balance,” describes Huff.

Life on and off the mat for Huff has been one clandestine moment after another. Beginning with a chance class to improve her running and culminating with a passion for brining Rochester balance beyond the studio doors. Two successful studios later, she has a new mission: Creating a community of yoga professionals that can grow, learn and share the art of yoga with each other and their students.

“If yoga teachers in the area want to come take a class…we offer a discount, I want to have guest teachers” describes Huff. A staple in the Rochester community Molly Huff is dedicated to sharing her passion for yoga and balanced living, even when life is not so easy.

Passion for Yoga 42

january 2015 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

&

Balanced Living

The Attention You Deserve At Brighton Securities, we believe that building the best finacnial plan to meet your financial goals starts with you. That’s why when you talk, we listen - kind of turns the whole “expert” thing on it’s ear, doesn’t it.

Wealth Management Since 1969

Caroline Hill — Financial Advisor

New-U is the recognized leader in multi-therapeutic hair restoration for men and women suffering from the devastating effects of hair loss, including: • Non-Surgical Hair Replacement • Surgical Hair Restoration • Laser Hair Therapy • 100% Natural Human Hair Extensions • Topical Treatments New-U has over 25 years experience and is New York's Hair Replacement experts.

We offer FREE private, confidential consultations to help you determine which hair loss treatment is best for your individual situation.

Saginaw Plaza • 1425 Jefferson Road Rochester, New York • 585.272.7320 www.baldness.com

www.brightonsecurities.com Brighton Securities is a member of FINRA & SIPC

life ::positive mindpositive

decision the power of

44

january 2015 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

life

::positive mind positive

PP

“When the water is calm, the reflection is clear.” -Zen saying Processes: “There is one act that you can do that in an INSTANT can change anything around in your life,” says my good friend and mentor, Bob Proctor. Everyone has this power all of the time. Yet most do not use it and do not make a habit of using the power. This power is that of decision. Resolution is the firm decision to do or not do something. MAKE A DECISION.

By Sraddha Prattivadi, MD

AHH the New Year, time to renew, refresh and restart. A time of resolutions. Have you thought about what the word resolution actually means in all of its nuances? This is a beautiful word.

Most people think of a resolution as something that they do or not do. Do you know in the definition of the word it actually points specifically to the decision to do or not do something.

This decision starts in your mind and the successful fruition of any of your New Year’s resolutions, whether it be making more money, being healthy, being loving or attaining success by whatever your definition is, it all starts in the mind.

Synonyms for resolution include intention, resolve, decision, intent, aim, plan, commitment, pledge, promise – these are all activities in the mind. As I asked you in November…what are you harvesting from your mind” Now I ask you – what do you want to harvest this year? You must understand resolution at a deep level.

“I’m a big, big believer in the power of New Year’s resolutions.

I just happen to think that January first is a terrible time to make them.” - Bob Proctor, Master Thinker Most people are flippant about resolutions and consider them as things that happen in the future or some ceremonial obligation after the fall of the ball and a few sips of champagne. This is a mistake on multiple levels. Resolutions are powerful tools in the positive co-creation of your future and your greater self. One must resolve the conflicted mind process that hold forward movement back and have a high resolution image of the future created by your higher purpose. The fulfillment of a resolution is in the NOW. You don’t have the past or the future to act; only the now.

The past can hold you back negatively and the future should pull you forward positively, but you only have the NOW to act.

Positive Philosophy: There are many definitions of the word resolution and I would like to explore them in a past, present future format here. In prosody, resolution means the substitution of two small syllables for a larger one. Likewise, are there small energy drains in your life that you could give up for investing your energy into a larger activity that will move your life forward? We literally speak our lives into being. Use this prosodic definition of resolution to consciously disengage from those things that do not serve your higher purpose on the planet. This may be a job, a relationship, friendships, furniture, thought process and selfimages that do not serve you any longer. I describe this process in detail in my upcoming book “Conscious Disengagement” but for now, try to identify three things in your past that you have a negative feeling about. Let them go and engage in forgiveness.

Positive Purpose: Resolution also means a larger whole that is clearly defined into the smallest possible units, like in a high-resolution image.

Do you have a clearly defined picture of your future? Create one. To do this you must resolve to explore the inner journey and learn who you truly are. Do away with the “woulda, coulda, shoulda’s”, quiet your mind, look in your heart and see what is there. We are more worried about the resolution power of our digital cameras than we are of the resolution power of our mind and the image that we hold in our mind of our futures. Get really clear on what you want.

Be DECISIVE. This means to cut out the other options and solely take action upon that which is decided. For example, if your goal is to achieve a healthy weight, there are choices that you must make that will result in that goal. You must cut out the other options - donuts, laziness, sugar, excuses etc, etc that are not consistent with that goal. They are not options.

The physics definition of resolution is helpful here: the replacing of a single force or other vector quantity by two or more jointly equivalent to it. What are the forces that I am mentioning here the different forces of the mental faculties which will be explored in future articles. For now, read the list below and pick a few words and BE those words. Think thoughts, feel emotions, do actions and then celebrate results that are consistent with those words. Here they are as multiple synonyms for the word resolution in the meaning the quality of being determined or resolute: determination, purpose, purposefulness, resolve, resoluteness, single-mindedness, firmness, firmness of purpose, steadfastness, staunchness, perseverance, persistence, indefatigability, tenacity, tenaciousness, staying power, dedication, commitment; stubbornness, doggedness, obstinacy, obduracy; boldness, spiritedness, braveness, bravery, courage, pluck, grit, courageousness; spunk; For a free audio download on “Decision” from master thinker Bob Proctor, please go to www.YourDoctorP.com. Listen to this daily for 30 days and watch your life change. You’ll be glad you did!

Doctor P’s 7 Step Resolution Process for the New Year . . . and EVERY DAY is a new year!

1. Resolution of past conflicts. Clear the past.

2. Get a clearly resolved picture of your “now” - express gratitude for what you already have.

3. Create a high resolution image of the future - express it in words 4. Make a decision to take action - this promise becomes a reality in the “now” 5. Create a resolution to bring that image into fruition - share this decision with friends and family 6. Be resolute in your actions - no excuses, only determination.

I don’t care what you are going to do. I only care about what you have done.

7. Resolve your thoughts into your manifestations - apply the chemistry definition of resolution Be resolute with your resolutions and resolve the confusion and conflicts of the past to watch your ideas resolve from abstractions with the simple decision of taking action into the manifestations of the clearly resolved vision of your future! That was a powerpacked sentence with tons of meaning and value. Read it over and over until you really understand it.

Discover the power of YOUR positive potential. Discover the Power of Decision.

Sign up for FREE Positive Notes from Doctor P at www.YourDoctorP.com Sraddha Prativadi, MD is an integrative holistic physician and Assistant Professor at the University of Rochester School of Medicine and Dentistry.

She is a Thinking into Results Program for Leaders facilitator with the Proctor-Gallagher Institute and founder of Doctor P: Power of your Positive Potential, providing individual, group, corporate and elite training to tap rochesterWomanMag.com :: january 2015

45

cause ::SHIFT+CONTROL ::for a good

Connectingparents

By Margaret Madigan

Parenting Village is a Rochester-area nonprofit that fosters the healthy development of children and families by offering connection and support for expecting, new, and experienced parents. Becoming a parent is a time of great transition that leaves many wondering where to turn for support. People repeatedly use the adage “it takes a village to raise a child,” yet Americans are far less socially and geographically connected today than they were just one generation ago, leaving many people to feel alone and unsupported in their transition. Parenting Village was created as a response to these issues. They envision a mutually supportive community in which all parents are empowered to confidently raise healthy, thriving children.

The organization offers a variety of programs for parents at any level to be involved in. Current programs include: Village Parents Circle - A weekly drop-in group for parents. This is a time to come together and share in the joys and challenges of parenting. Each week is facilitated by professionals with expertise in parent-child relationships and infant/child development, and includes a theme for discussion, social time for children, and a healthy snack. Babies and young children ages birth to 3 are welcome to join. The group is free and open to all. The group usually meets Fridays 10:30am -11:45 am. At 1815 S Clinton Ave. Suite 630, Rochester, NY. There is some flexibility for older siblings to come along, contact Parenting Village for questions or more information. The group also anticipates having a Weekend Village Parents Circle on Sunday mornings starting soon. See website and Facebook pages for information and updates on time and location.

Nurture - A program for families with new babies. Nurture volunteers visit mothers in their homes and offer a steady and supportive presence through the precious first months of a baby’s life in order to help create a smooth transition and positive experiences for the family.

46

january 2015 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

Connection - Monthly social gatherings and opportunities to make meaningful and lasting connections with other families, as well as the opportunity to learn about family activities in our area: Upcoming gatherings include meet-ups at family-friendly locations and the popular Parenting Village Summer Bash, coming summer 2015.

Postpartum Wellness Coalition - A brand new multi-agency initiative to increase community awareness and identification of Prenatal and Postpartum Mood Disorders: The coalition will undertake a campaign to disseminate information, education, and enhance services for families touched by Prenatal and Postpartum Depression and Anxiety.

The organization also strives to maintain information for parents that allows them quick access to various subjects related to parenting, such as breastfeeding, fitness, nutrition, adoption, grief counseling, and special needs children. This information may include links to websites, pamphlets, or contact info for support groups or professionals who provide specific services. The Parenting Village doesn’t claim to have all the answers but they can certainly connect you to someone who might.

The founding board of Parenting Village consists of Emily Horowitz (President), Katie Malarkey (Vice President), Jana Jackle (Secretary), Andrea Coron Richardson (Treasurer), Miri Arie PhD, Lisa Luxemberg LMSW, and Amber Graham (Webmaster).

To Parenting Village, “parents” means the primary caregivers of children. This includes ALL family structures and varieties, and they celebrate the diversity of our local families. Programs are inclusive in nature, and will offer a wide array of support for single parents, straight and same-sex couples, adoptive parents, foster parents, blended and stepfamilies and extended families. PV is not just for moms, dads are parents too!

To learn more about Parenting Village, participate in their programs, volunteer your talents, or donate, check out www.ourparentingvillage. org, find them on Facebook at Parenting Village—Rochester NY, or email at Connect@parentingvillage.org.

Because every woman is different.

Precision Medicine for Breast Cancer.

Precision Medicine. It means treatments based on your genetics.

It means pathologists who specialize in breast cancer. It means new types of radiation that protect your heart and lungs. It means a better way to treat breast cancer. And it’s available now at the Wilmot Cancer Institute.

Learn more about Precision Medicine for breast cancer.

Visit urmedicine.org/Pluta.

WILMOT_PLUTA_FALL_2014_8_5x11_MECH.indd 1

11/26/14 9:27 AM

NiceNaughty new year

::tiips for

women

weight loss tips after a

By Dr. Bill Ferris

Holiday season; such a wonderful time of the year filled with beautiful greeting cards reminding us to be joyful, parties filled with long lost friends and family, children excited to see what goodies Santa brought on his sleigh ……but really, there was food EVERYWHERE! If it wasn’t cookies it was rum filled eggnog. Candy canes tortured us with their peppermint sweetness. Gingerbread men taunted us. Laughing in their sweet sugar brains at us knowing we couldn’t resist them. Then you played that game with yourself. I can have just one sweet treat, then one turned into two and two into 15. Before you knew it, that little inch you gave yourself turned into 10 miles and you are now in a New Year candy cane and champagne coma.

So here are seven simple tips to make a healthy start to your New Year and keeping your resolution to achieve that healthy, happy, summer-ready body, brought to you by the experts at New York Weight Loss: 1. You just spent an entire month stressing and worrying about everyone else. Time to distress and detox! After all, stress is one of the biggest toxins for your body. Commit to “you” time. Set daily dates with yourself that you commit to focusing on your goals, which brings us to point two.

2. Figure out your “why”? Why do you want to lose weight?

Is it because Grandmas amazing cookies are still dancing around in your tummy and won’t allow you to button those skinny jeans you got for Christmas? Or maybe losing weight is just something you’ve really wanted to do for a while. Set a realistic goal and know your why behind it!

Remind yourself of your why when your goal seems far away. It will keep you motivated!

3. Avoid foods with sugar. Sugar loves to play games with your body and usually ends up having its way with your figure. If it’s not being utilized as energy by your body, it’s being stored as fat. Not so sweet anymore right?

4. Keep a food journal. This will keep you accountable to your goals and really be eye opening as to what your routine with food looks like.

5. Meal skippers, this tip is for you. When you skip meals your body gets mad at you. It seriously does. Love your body and stop skipping meals. Food is fuel and your body needs fuel to function and keep you healthy.

6. Beware! Some foods that say “low fat”, “light” or “diet” can be chemical cocktails that are not very good for you, and cause you to crave sugar. Potentially turning you into a ravenous sugar junkie!

7. Drink half your weight in fluid ounces of water every day at minimum. Eat plenty of veggies, fruit, lean proteins and figure out a form of fitness that makes you happy! Working out doesn’t have to be a chore. Or just something you do because you have to. Find something you really enjoy that gets your muscles working and become an enthusiast!

48

january 2015 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

Be mindful and stay positive. You can achieve your postholiday weight loss or weight management goals. Just remember, only you can choose to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

New You?

::fitness

WHO or WHAT is the

::fitness

By Kitty Teresi | Photo by Jennifer Gattelaro Here comes the start of another new year, and right behind it, you’re preoccupied trying to decide on your new year’s resolution.

You look in the mirror and ask yourself, “What am I missing?

What should I have done in 2014 that I just have to do in 2015?

How do I reinvent myself to be the strong, beautiful woman I want to be?” Suddenly, you’ve become so motivated by the idea of the New Year and with it the New You. But who—or what—is the “new you?”

When I think of that “new you,” I think of a new attitude and a newer, more improved you. I think of getting fit, feeling great, and being all around healthy! Oh—and yes; I still think of shopping for new clothes, getting my hair done, and pampering myself too!

But, when we really put things into perspective, our bodies are ours forever, we can’t just buy a new pair. So, with that said, let’s start with our most important piece of clothing…….. Ourselves.

Being healthy is one of the most personal, beneficial, long-lasting ways we can affect ourselves this new year. If you’re ready to make this the year you keep your new year’s resolution, please keep reading!

First, let’s look at all the reasons why you’re ready to get healthy in 2015: No more settling for bad health!

Eating is how you fuel your body, and eating healthy is how you show your body the respect and love it deserves!

Age is NOT a limitation! It’s your motivation!

You’re too tired. Being healthy and active gives you that kick of energy your body has been craving!

But healthy foods are too expensive. WRONG! It’s time to turn all of that money you use for junk food into money you invest into your health.

“I don’t care if I’m over weight, as long as I’m healthy.” You’ve realized that this is just an excuse to keep yourself from your goals. Besides, how can we be healthy if we’re putting so much unnecessary strain on our bodies? If you over-stuff a car, the engine is bound to run slower.

Fitness clubs are a much more preferred expense compared to medical bills and the feeling of being unhealthy.

The gym is as interesting as you make it. Dedicate yourself to your goal and every workout will be more satisfying than seeing your favorite show’s new episode from the couch.

OK, that was easy!

Now for the fun stuff! It’s time to learn how to successfully accomplish your New Year “New You”.

Start by making a short list of your fitness and health goals.

Choose a healthy diet, or ask for assistance tailoring one for your needs.

Meal planning is key. We don’t want to find ourselves at one of the

f

local “bad food” drive-through restaurants due to bad planning.

Take a few minutes of your day to prepare small, healthy doggiebags ready to take on the go.

Drink about ½ your body weight in water. What? You say water is boring? Welcome to water basics 101. Jazz up your water naturally with fresh fruits and veggies to bring out great taste and a wonderful aroma.

Now it’s time to find a place you can have some fun at getting physical and learning new skills. Not everyone wants to go to a gym and run on the treadmill or just lift weights. What physical activity do you enjoy that can be done on a regular basis? Let’s see; how about a martial arts club? A fitness facility, whether that be dance classes or sport clubs? Or how about a nutritional group?

Even better, how about a Martial Arts and Fitness club that also offers nutritional advice, weight management, and performance training? We have just struck gold. Martial arts training, fitness, and nutrition, all offered in one location. This is most exciting and beneficial because you are accomplishing three tasks all in one location. Oh, did I mention you can also partner up with an accountability partner?

Let’s face it, I’m not telling you anything new; you’ve heard this before. What I am blatantly trying to do is inspire and challenge you to get healthy and fit; to dig deeper and go beyond the surface.

Go deep and work from your inside out. In order to make a real change in our lives this year, we have to start by looking within, and only then will we see the wonderful side effects being healthy and fit will bring out of us. The side effect of the New Year and new you is going to be wonderful only if you make it permanent. We all know nothing in life worth doing is going to be easy; but the challenge is what makes doing this for yourself so motivating and fun!

So, for 2015, make this lasting commitment to be the best person you can be. Bring the best us out from underneath all of our clothes and blush, and really feel better, get healthier and look amazing. BE YOUR BEST in 2015 and for the rest of your life.

I promise…. your only regret will be that you didn’t start sooner!

Here is a bit about me. I came to the Rochester area back in 2007 and found my home at BEDROC MMA and Fitness. I came here with my black belt in Taekwondo and my two children.

Although I had a black belt in Taekwondo, I’ve always had the desire to be progressively more physically fit and take on new challenges. BEDROC introduced my family to Judo, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Semperfit group fitness, and none other than the 24 Day Challenge from Advocare. The goal of the program is to teach us to make healthier nutritional choices by combining healthy meals and world class nutritional products to help us break through our weight management, break through our training plateaus, and ultimately reach our fitness goals. To sum it up, I did the 24 Day Challenge, and never felt better. It took my martial arts and my fitness to a whole new level. I love telling people my story and inspiring them to be the best person they can be. I am so lucky to be surrounded by like-minded people that are trained at a great place and train alongside of their families.

My motto….. A family that trains together stays, together.

Get fit and stay healthy.

rochesterWomanMag.com :: january 2015

51

::queen of

arts

An Advocate for Arts in

Rochester

By Katie Barry | Photo by Ve Ja Broyld, Sr

Sustainability. Creativity. Community.

That’s the focus of Dawn Sargent—singer, actress, and lover of the arts. As a performer with Blackfriars Theatre for more than 20 years, board member for the past five years, and now board president, Sargent is leading the charge as an advocate for the arts in Rochester and Blackfriars biggest aficionado.

In her role as board president, Sargent is currently facing the dichotomy of change and sustainability as long-time artistic director John Haldoupis prepares to pass the baton to his successor after 35 years. For Sargent, this is a great loss but also an exciting opportunity.

Making sure the theatre stays on track, relevant, and maintains patron support during this season of change is critical, according to Sargent, and she plans to remain focused on these things for the foreseeable future.

“Our mission is to provide a truly professional experience for not only our patrons, but the artists that work in our community,” she says.

Sargent, a local artist herself, is no stranger to the spotlight. A performer with Nick and the Nice Guys during the 1990s, Sargent recalls her time with the band as a “theatrical kind of experience” that revitalized her love for theater, which she thought she left behind in high school.

“I missed performing,” she said. “I actually went to college for art and graphic design, but came back to theater in my 20’s because I just missed it.”

Her first experience on stage was as a member of the chorus in a junior high performance of “Oliver”. During her junior year of high school, Sargent was cast as Hodel in “Fiddler on the Roof” and it was then she decided, “Oooh, this is fun!”

Ever since, Sargent has enjoyed taking the stage in a number of roles, but for now, her focus is behind the curtain. “Right now, I want the performance aspect to take a bit of a back seat because I know how important it

52

january 2015 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

is to maintain my role as board president,” says Sargent. I try to be very compartmentalized when it comes to my work for the theater and my everyday personal and professional life. I love it so much and I enjoy putting in the time.”

Sargent finds balance between her career as a Branch Manager at Reliant Community Credit Union and her love of art by making time to devote herself to her passion, and since her husband Darren Brennessel is an artist as well, that balance is not too hard to find. “We both kind of understand how to keep that passion alive,” she said. And that passion is love for the arts—arts in a community like the city of Rochester where roots run deep and passion runs high.

“I think the biggest challenge that we have in the arts community is that we’re very knowledgeable about what we’re doing, but we aren’t always sharing what we’re doing with everyone else. Everybody’s a bit protective of their particular art, but I think if we were a little more inclusive, that would go a long way to helping the entire scene.”

Sargent would love for Blackfriars to become the conduit among the many pockets of talent in Rochester.

“There are just oodles and oodles of talented people in this town, and I’d love to see us all support one another even more.”

With five to six shows running each year, Blackfriars offers a creative space for artists to share their craft with the greater community in an intimate setting.

“I love Blackfriars so much because it gave me something 20 years ago when I needed it most, and now I want to give that back to somebody else.”

Just like Blackfriars brought Sargent back to her love of theater, she is helping bring Blackfriars to a new level of artistic sustainability in a city riddled with talent. She is a visionary with a true passion for her community. And that deserves a standing ovation.

it ::you can do

you can do it

Winter

Warm Up

by Carrie Luteran

Flipping the calendar to a new year can be great inspiration to tackle new projects, but with spring still months away and a home that looks bare after removing the holiday decorations you might have a hard time getting motivated. Here are some simple ways to inject life into your interiors and boost your mood while the snow flies outside.

Warm up your color palette

Rooms decorated in neutrals or blues are very popular, but can seem cold and uninviting in the winter. If you have a similar color scheme, try adding warm shades like red, orange or yellow, which are stimulating and provide a boost of energy. Distribute one of these accent colors throughout a room with artwork, accessories and a bouquet of fresh flowers.

Bring in light

Syracuse is not known for having many days of sunshine, and that, combined with the shorter days of winter, can take a toll on your emotional wellbeing.

Most of us have under-lit rooms, and this can contribute to a dreary mood. A good rule of thumb for calculating how much total wattage is needed to light a room is: square footage times 1.5. Include furnishings with metallic, glass or mirrored finishes to help bounce light around your space and bring back the sparkle that is missing after holiday decorations come down.

Accessorize

A bold piece of art or area rug can provide a big punch of color and pattern to a space. Shop other rooms of your house (or maybe all that stuff hiding in your basement) to create a new look without spending any money. Displaying collections, photos and memorabilia that reflect your interests and life history will make your home personalized and provide an emotional boost every time you look at them.

Add texture

Infusing texture into a room can bring a lot of visual interest, as well as make it feel warm and comforting. Try including a soft rug on the floor, woven or faux fur pillows on the sofa, and a chunky throw for a cozy and inviting space.

54

january 2015 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

Incorporate natural objects and materials like greenery, twigs, seashells, cork and wood for a daily reminder that spring is on the way.

Declutter

Living with unaddressed piles of stuff around your home every day can be mentally draining. Set aside a few minutes each evening to return items to their proper homes, and take advantage of time stuck indoors to address bigger projects, like that overflowing closet or spare room full of junk. Schedule a date in your calendar and honor it as you would any other appointment. You will feel lighter and more motivated to take on those New Year’s resolutions, guaranteed!

Designer Tips for Common Decorating Dilemmas •Artwork a pain in the neck? Hang everything at eye level so that the center of each piece is 60 inches up from the floor.

•Confused about area rugs? Purchase one large enough to allow at least the front feet of all furniture to sit on it.

•Small windows or low ceilings? Purchase curtain rods that are wider than the window; hang them close to the ceiling; and then add curtains long enough to touch the floor.

•Shouting to be heard? Arrange conversation areas to be no larger than nine feet in diameter, moving furniture away from walls if necessary.

•Open floor plan a little too open? Float a sofa or pair of chairs in the middle of your space to define the seating area, and use a narrow table (with accessories!) to disguise the back of the furniture.

Carrie Luteran, MA, Allied ASID, makes spaces totally functional and fab. She offers a fresh, modern approach to interior design and professional organizing through her company, Pretty Neat. Connect at prettyneatsolutions.com or 315-400-1966.

EXCELSIOR Sports Prep Academy k acce

s

t o ed u c

un

c lo

s

Exclusive online curriculum ------------------------------Technologicaly advanced

d t he c

Schooling Designed to Reach your goals ion Aro at

Training Designed to Maximize your potential ON ICE HOCKEY TRAINING PROVIDED BY:

OVER 20 YEARS OF HOCKEY TRAINING EXPERIENCE

OFF ICE TRAINING PROVIDED BY:

SCIENTIFICALLY TESTED - PROVEN - gUARANTEED

Educate-Equip-Enable FOR MORE INFORMATION & TO REGISTER NOW, VISIT OUR WEBSITE

WWW.Excelsiorsportsprep.com

Looking for a few good artists.

Join our continually growing arsenal of talented artisans to take advantage of our aggressive marketing program.

We will develop a personalized plan of e-marketing, print marketing, art show representation, website design, gallery representation and national magazine advertising – to help your art stand out in the crowd.

82 Callingham Road, Pittsford, NY 14534 • 585.586.3535 • info@artisandirectltd.net

www.artisandirectltd.net

82 Callingham Road, Pittsford, NY 14534 | 585.586.3535 | info@jaysonsamuel.com | www.jaysonsamuel.com

Inspire

rochester women

LaCarrie Byer

Founder & Designer of L’Couture

By Laura DiCaprio | Photo by Jennifer Gattelaro

LaCarrie Byer has always had a passion for fashion design and making women feel beautiful, but her path to founding her own clothing line has been anything but direct. Byer had to overcome numerous personal obstacles including the murder of her mother, raising two boys as a single parent, and surviving and making the decision to leave an abusive relationship before she could focus on her design career. Today Byer is the proud founder and designer of L’Couture, her own clothing line that she manages while simultaneously raising her family, working a full time job, and balancing per diem work with the military.

Fashion and sewing have been a prominent part of Byer’s life since she was a young child growing up in New York City. Her mother, a professional fashion model, sparked Byer’s interest in fashion design. Her mother used to sew her own clothes and would put her daughter to work cutting out patterns and preparing the materials. Byer recalls the way her father used to gaze admiringly at her mother when she wore an exceptional outfit and was inspired by the power a well put together woman could have. “I wanted to help make other women feel beautiful about themselves.” she says.

Byer was designing her own clothes by elementary school, even before she was able to use the sewing machine. Using safety pins and fabric glue, she would cut apart and reassemble clothes from around the house to make unique pieces for herself and her sisters.

When Byer moved to Atlanta in middle school, she found that the fashions were quite different from her New York City inspired wardrobe and she was also having trouble finding unique items that fit her lanky adolescent frame. She decided to learn how to use her mother’s old sewing machine in order to create her own unique items and taught herself to sew despite the fact that the sewing machine was stuck in reverse. Every day after school Byer would swing by the fabric store on the way home, buy a yard or two of fabric, and create an outfit to wear to school the following day.

After high school, Byer’s plans to attend the Fashion Institute of Technology were put on hold when her mother was murdered by an abusive boyfriend. Her mother played a huge role in Byer’s dream to become a fashion designer not only by introducing her to the fashion world and sewing, but also by encouraging her daughter to follow her dreams. When Byer found herself in an abusive relationship years later, she knew for the sake of her children and her mother’s memory that she had to get out before it was too late.

It took a few years for Byer to regain her confidence and feel beautiful again, but it was with this newfound sense of self along with encouragement from her sister and teenage sons that she began designing and sewing once again.

Byer has a full time job as a Surgical Coordinator with Periodontal Health Specialists and squeezes in all her designing and sewing on the weekends. The styles Byer creates are practical yet fashionable and (continued on page 60)

rochesterWomanMag.com :: january 2015

57

inspire

“I really do l love learning, it’s exciting to me. That was energizing.”

:rw

Jenny Krieger

Massage Therapist, Journey Massage

By Hayley Stauss | Photo by Jennifer Gattelaro

Just a few years ago, Jenny Krieger took a leap of faith, and decided to take the next phase of her life in a new direction. After spending the last 18 years at home taking care of her family as a full-time mom, Krieger decided to embark on what she considers to be the third career of her lifetime—and went back to school to study massage therapy.

Krieger initially stayed in Ohio after college, working for a county coroner’s office for five years, but eventually made the move to Rochester with her husband for his new job and began her career as a stay at home mom.

Krieger poured her soul into the school years of her three children.

Researching, reading, volunteering, being present at everything she possibly could; Krieger was very active in the school’s community—but after her youngest hit middle school and became a bit more independent, she wanted to try something new to continue to keep busy.

Like many science-related careers, massage therapy is constantly changing. It’s something Krieger finds happiness in, and she enjoys that this new career path allows her to continue learning as new research comes about.

“I really do l love learning, it’s exciting to me. That was energizing. A lot of it was really new, and I stayed away from biology in college so this was eye-opening. So much of what you were taught growing up has new research now. It was interesting to learn more, and continue learning. “ What fascinated Krieger about massage more than most things is its relation to her love of science, “It’s very science-oriented in the coursework. They teach you about the muscles yes, but they also teach you what massage is all about; what muscles you’re dealing with, and if you know how the body works—you’re able to figure out what to do for each client” Krieger said.

After completing the program at the Onondoga School for Therapeutic Massage here in Rochester, Krieger is now part of the practice at Journey Massage, and she loves it.

Understanding that massage is more than just a treat, Krieger wants to find the best way to inform the community of its medical benefits— ultimately hoping to build a relationship with other practices to construct a medical team and plan to give people an alternative way of healing.

“Everyone knows that a massage makes you feel better, but they’re trying to figure out why. The research is new, they’re learning more and I love keeping up with that. It sounds a lot different than forensic chemistry, and it is, but it’s still science. “ One thing Krieger looks forward to most is her clients’ satisfaction.

She enjoys knowing she’s helped to make a difference.

“People walk away, every time I see them, feeling better. Knowing that I’m responsible for even a small part of it, and the people that come back, who understand massage is part of their health and they’re willing to incorporate it, and it’s with me—that’s super rewarding.”

58

january 2015 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

(continued on page 60)

inspire

::rw

“My goal is to get off of social services and work hard just like my mom and dad did.”

Josette Harris Coffee Connection

By Joy Bergfalk | Photo by Jennifer Gattelaro

Josette and I both had tears in our eyes as she shared her compelling story with me.

Introduced to crack cocaine by her husband, Josette Harris chased that “first feeling” and quickly fell into years of desperate addiction.

She supported her habit by selling her food stamps and WIC (Women, Infants and Children) benefits and stealing from her parents. Finally, losing her kids to her mother, Harris reached her lowest point and that gave her the motivation to begin to turn her life around. Her daughter’s plea, “Please, Mommy, no more drugs” interrupted a short relapse and since then, Harris has never looked back. Her wise parents took her to court to recover the money they lost, holding her accountable rather than “rescuing” her, which rarely works in most cases.

Harris’s five children, ages 19 to 27, have fallen into some of the same struggles. One daughter was “doing the teenage thing out on the street” when her son was born with his father in jail at the time.

Like her mother, Harris has custody of her seven year old grandson, but her daughter is starting to pull it together and the child’s father is now out of jail. Another daughter and two children also live with her. After years of struggle and hardship, Harris is now, finally, the pillar of her family, guiding her children to make better choices than those she once made.

Having been successfully clean and sober for many years, Harris was ready to take the next step. In March of last year, Harris was referred to the Coffee Connection/Project Empower by Rochester Works to fulfill her Work Experience Program (WEP) for the Department of Human Services That’s when her life moved in an even more positive direction. Since she began working at the Coffee Connection Harris has demonstrated an enviable work ethic. She is always on time, cheerful, dependable, honest, loyal and always works to inspire others. In fact, Harris has been such a good worker, the Coffee Connection made the decision to hire her full time in December.

Understandably, Harris is excited for the opportunity. “I want to work there until I retire,” says Harris. “My goal is to get off of social services and work hard just like my mom and dad did. “ The Coffee Connection has become an extended family for Harris, where she is learning many valuable life tools including communications skills, how to check facts before responding, how to work with others different from herself, and how avoid being drawn into other people’s drama. Harris says, “I enjoy making people happy and doing things for others, and the friendly and ‘mostly’ calm atmosphere of the Coffee Connection. I like what the Coffee Connection does for people with addiction. Folks don’t stick up their nose at us, instead they give us a chance to have a new life. I like our meetings. I listen to others’ struggles to learn for myself and to provide support for others struggling with addiction.”

Harris describes herself as ambitious, loyal, honest, sympathetic, curious and passionate about her job, always trying to put her (continued on page 60)

rochesterWomanMag.com rochesterWomanMag.com::::january january2015 2015

59 59

lacarrie byer (cont)

::rw

inspire

hardly any of her garments need to be ironed.

“Sometimes you only have time to roll out of bed and throw your glasses on your face,” Byer recognizes, “but it’s still important to feel good about yourself.”

Along with private trunk shows, L’Couture has been featured at several local fashion events and Byer also creates custom order pieces for clients.

One of her goals for L’Couture is to help give back to the Rochester community in some way, possibly by providing clothes to women and children in battered women’s shelters.

Given all that she’s been through over the years, Byer is often asked how her outlook on life can remain so positive. Her response? “I have air in my lungs, I have my kids, my life…what is there not to be happy about?”

Find out more about LaCarrie Byer and view L’Coutoure designs by visiting her Facebook page, facebook.com/lcouture4me, Instagram page, @ lcouture4me, or email lcouture4me@gmail.com.

Jenny Krieger

josette harris

Knowing who your client is, and what their needs are is extremely important to the success of massage therapy. It starts with asking questions and discussing what hurts, what you think needs work—and that communication is crucial in Krieger’s practice.

best into it. Since starting with the Coffee Connection, Harris’ management skills have grown and she’s always eager to support and train new women coming into the program.

(cont)

“It’s completely up to the client, they tell me where it hurts and what they need, and it’s up to me to meet that need. Once I know what hurts, and when I’m working on them, I can usually figure out what methods to use. It’s about realizing it may not be what you usually do, or the ‘typical routine,’ but what is best for your client.”

In regards to building a new career, Krieger says “find the parts of what you’re doing or what you’ve done that you like—and determine a way to build that into what you want to start doing.”

“I loved going back to school because I got to expand myself. I think everyone should have the opportunity to do that.” “The more you know about yourself, the more you will know what direction you should go in.”

For more information on Jenny and her Journey, check out her website—where you can also book an appointment! www.jkrieger.massagetherapy.com

(cont)

Coffee Connection/Project Empower: A combined nonprofit business and program, practicing social entrepreneurship by empowering women in recovery from addiction to achieve a sustainable recovery and life through employment training and job creation.

Beginning with four or five women when they merged in November 2011; Joy Bergfalk as executive director and Cathy Martin, master roaster and first hire, are now joined by over 35 women in the program, 15 full or part-time employees and two contract workers. Recently Joy and the Coffee Connection/Project Empower were chosen to receive the Roslyn S. Jaffe award in for doing unique and innovative work with women in recovery from addiction and social entrepreneurship. Soledad O’Brien emceed the national award luncheon in New York City.

Roslyn S. Jaffe is the founder of Dress Barn, Lane Bryant, Justice’s, Catherine’s and Maurice’s.

For more information on the Coffee Connection/ Project Empower visit www.ourcoffeeconnection. org. or join us for coffee or a meal at 681 South Ave, where we roast our coffee, or the Greenhouse Café, 2271 E. Main, Street.

january 2015 Art Social Organization: The MAG

EVENTS CALENDAR

Where: The MAG When: 6:30PM, Admission $12 Website: mag.rochester.edu/artsocial

15 Mendon Ponds Park Winterfest 2015

18 29th Annual Athena Awards

22 Sip and Shop Soiree

22 After Dark Prehistoric Party

29

Organization: Monroe County Parks Department Time: 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Where: Mendon Ponds Park, Pittsford Website: www.mendonpondswinterfest.org Organization: The Women’s Council (affiliate of The Rochester Business Council) Where: Joseph A. Floreano Rochester Riverside Convention Center When: 12:00 PM Website: www.grwc.com Organization: Make-A-Wish Foundation Where: Woodcliff Hotel and Spa When: 5:00-9:00PM Admission: $20 donation Website: wny.wish.org Organization: RMSC Where: RMSC When: 7:00PM Website: www.rmsc.org

entrepreneurs ::women

Providing 62

january 2015 :: rochesterWomanMag.com

Holistic&Healthy

By Jill Morgan | Photo by VeJay Broyld, Sr. Fascinating! Accomplished! I need to know more. Those were my first thoughts as I prepared to interview Acupuncturist & Business Owner, Renee Nearpass.

In my pre-interview research I noticed Nearpass was the Executive Director of the American Business Group of Abu Dhabi, U.A.E. and couldn’t help but wonder, how does one go from being an executive director to acupuncturist?

Growing up in Cheektowaga, NY, a suburb of Buffalo, Nearpass aspired first to be a dancer then educator. While attending SUNY Potsdam in 1994, Renee met her husband, Matthew, a native of Seneca. He was a student at Clarkson University.

After graduation in 1998, they married and moved to Rochester.

In 2001, Matthew’s job with Harris Corporation changed. They relocated nearly 7000 miles away to Abu Dhabi. While in Abu Dhabi, Renee interviewed for a position with the American Business Group of Abu Dhabi, U.A.E. She was offered the position of Executive Director. The goal and mission of the ABG was to provide support to Americans and American companies conducting business in Abu Dhabi and the U.A.E. “We provided both professional and networking programs for the membership.”

As one can only imagine, moving across the world had to be stressful: new country, new culture and now a new job. Nearpass noticed her migraines were becoming more and more frequent. She and her husband joined a fitness club in the hopes of relieving some of the stress and in turn, the migraines. At the fitness club, Nearpass was introduced to acupuncture as an alternative healthcare treatment for her migraines, by a Chinese Medical Doctor. Her very first experience was relaxing and life changing. The experience opened her mind to the idea of alternative forms of healthcare. She was fascinated by it and wanted to know more.

In 2005 she returned to Rochester to become an Academic Advisor with the University of Rochester, followed by a position as Assistant Director of Health Professions and Fellowships Advising at Hobart and William Smith.

Then in 2012, Nearpass, followed her dreams and enrolled as a Graduate Intern at the Finger Lakes School of Acupuncture. Nearpass is one of a few certified practitioners of Mei Zen, which is a safe and alternative anti-aging process for men and women.

At last, she was able to seek out a career which gave her the opportunity to educate and be part of a profession that offered people the option of holistic healthcare.

Nearpass said, “One that works and one that helped me personally as well.”

Nearpass spent time studying acupuncture and Chinese medicine in China for about a month in the spring of 2012. As a practitioner in the U.S., Nearpass felt it was very important to learn from medical professionals in China, and see how Chinese medicine was provided and integrated into the mainstream healthcare system in China. It was exceptional learning experience offered Renee various perspectives on how Chinese medicine was provided in China.

Opening Perinton Family Acupuncture in August of 2013 has allowed Nearpass to educate men and women about holistic and healthy alternatives to conventional healthcare. “Your own body can treat itself. I want to treat and educate.”

When I asked, “What do you want your patients to get out of their experience?” She replied, “I want to help people feel good and feel comfortable. To know they are coming to a safe environment that they can trust and leave knowing they can look forward to their next visit.”

What is the most common misconception? Nearpass replied “In my experience the most common misconception is that acupuncture only treats pain. Acupuncture is an excellent treatment modality for pain. Clinical research trials have shown that acupuncture can help manage certain pain conditions. In my own experience I’ve helped patients in reducing and alleviating their headaches, back pain, fibromyalgia, menstrual pain and arthritic pain to name a few. However, Chinese medicine is very helpful in treating other conditions such as digestive upset, sinusitis, anxiety, infertility, menopausal symptoms and hypertension among others.”

Alternatives

Nearpass was recently published in the The American Acupuncture, Spring 2014 for “Assessing Acupoint Stimulation in Reducing Pediatric Postoperative Nausea and Vomiting: A Systematic Review”. She is also a speaker on Acupuncture topics related to pediatrics and women’s health and plans to do more. For a complete listing of Perinton Family Acupuncture services visit: www.perintonfamilyacupuncture.com.

::reads &

writes

Local Autho

or’s First Novel:

The Cornerstone

By Margaret Madigan Julie Daugherty is a local author who has been a resident of Pittsford for six years, hailing originally from California where she was a biomedical writer. Her husband is L. Eugene Daugherty, Chief of the Pediatric ICU at Golisano Children’s Hospital, and Daugherty has stayed home with their two lovely daughters since they started their family 15 years ago.

She has always stayed active with her writing, whether as a freelance technical writer or volunteer newsletter writer. She is active in the community and at her children’s schools as she has volunteered extensively for the Pittsford PTSA and spent a year on the Board of Directors for Pittsford Crew. “I am thrilled to be involved in my adopted community, and always eager to contribute”, states Daugherty.

Below a short excerpt from her debut novel, “The Corner Stone,” which will be featured on February 1st at the newly formatted Rochester Jewish Book Festival. Two diamond-obsessed college students – Asher and Brooke – are on a collision course with romance. Asher’s introverted manner and tense family dynamic threatens to derail their chances of happiness at nearly every turn. While helping Brooke with her master’s project, she stumbles upon an exciting scientific theory about diamonds that could change the world – would this change be for the better?

The Corner Stone

Asher’s arrival at Sigma Pi house at 8:45 was met with the full effect he anticipated. Young blond co-eds, most of whom towered over him, greeted Asher at the door with an energy that flickered after one quick glimpse of him. It was replaced with the falseness he was accustomed to, and one came forward boldly asking, “Are you here to celebrate Alison and Alex?”

At this, Asher was powerless to control the guffaw that shook him, but he actually attempted to cover it with a cough, too late, and simply nodded. The three girls glared at each other in silence, performing what Asher presumed must be some form of blond telepathy, and one blurted, “Has anyone ever told you that you look exactly like Ben Stiller?” Asher steeled himself, ignoring the question.

Alex. Well, you do now, I guess, but how cool is that that your parents are in the diamond business?! What is THAT like?!”

Escape hopeless.

Plan B: bore to tears.

“Well, Alison, it is not the glamour that people assume. You see, dealing in diamonds has, for centuries, been a means by which some Jews, (such as my family), could transport themselves from one location to the next when they were inevitably thrown out. Diamonds are a vehicle, really, by which –” Just as he expected, her mouth was gaping. But his reaction time, purposefully slowed in a failed attempt to hide his desperation to leave, was inferior.

“Oh my god! You HAVE to meet my cousin Brooke. She’s studying anthropology. You guys would TOTALLY have a lot to talk about!

Stay RIGHT here!” And with that, she disappeared into the thickening crowd of Greek alphabet soup.

Two thousand years later Alison emerged, dragging a woman who, if Asher hadn’t been painfully aware he was at a fraternity, he might have assumed was a child. Brooke had shoulder-length straight hair of a most natural pale blond, and the biggest blue eyes he had ever seen – or maybe they only seemed so on such a petite person. She reached just five feet, despite wearing heeled sandals. Asher was shaken from his bewilderment as Alison spoke, and an odd, almost hostile expression came over the woman, Brooke’s, face.

Asher Feldman, this is my cousin, Brooke Jensen. Brooke, meet Asher Feldman. Asher’s parents are in the diamond business.”

Just then, a group of men across the house erupted in a chorus of Elvis Costello’s “Alison,” which visibly distracted the host. She excused herself under the pretense of heading disaster off at the pass, but seemed eager to rejoin the cool crowd.

Finally, the spokeswoman offered, “Um, you know I think Alex is on a beer run, but Alison is around here somewhere, I’ll just get her for you.”

She looked over the top of his head and yelled, “Alison, come here!”

With her departure, Asher had a renewed sense of hope for escape, but continued the charade a moment longer to best preserve his odds.

He shook her hand, muttering “nice to meet you,” then watched her expression change dramatically from hostility to recognition.

Asher turned to see the pert, mildly sunburned girl effectively bounce over to the circle as she flirtatiously brushed the arm of some hulking frat boy by way of excusing herself. She wore a slightly less vacant expression than the welcoming committee.

“You know,” she dragged out, tilting her head to one side and really taking him in.

Here it comes, he mused.

“You aren’t, by any chance, related to…”

“Asher Feldman,” he began, as he took Alison’s hand and attempted to bore a hole through her face with his eyes, grateful that at least one person in the room was his height. “Alex’s friend, Jack, asked me to come. Though I have other commitments this evening…” dropping her hand now, he moved his right hand to his yarmulke seemingly unconsciously, “I came to give you both my very best for a happy life together.” For good measure he patted her shoulder and pivoted toward the door. Escape imminent.

UGH!

“Oh my god, you’re the guy from New York! The diamond guy! Oh my god, thank you SO MUCH for what you did for Alex. For me too, I guess, duh! That was so cool of you! I mean, you don’t even know

“Dr. Jeffrey Feldman, are you? He’s an anthropologist out of, I believe, NYU. OH! Let me guess. Is that why Alison wanted us to meet?”

Asher was completely taken aback. A small party took place in his cerebral cortex.

---You can also find Daugherty’s book “The Corner Store” at Amazon.com.

The 2015 Honda CR-V Exceptional value. Advanced safety features.

Forward thinking design.

www.RalphHonda.com | 585.225.3200 3939 West Ridge Road | Rochester, NY 14626