ROCKET FALL/WINTER 2019

Rock e t FA L L / W I N T E R 2 0 1 9

VOL. X, ISSUE 1

FA L L / W I N T E R 2 0 1 9

VOL, X, NO. 1

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Rock e t M

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FA S H I O N A R T P H O T O G R A P H Y

WILLIAM & MARY WMROCKETMAGAZINE.COM ROCKET@EMAIL.WM.EDU @ROCKETMAG

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EDITOR-IN-CHIEF DEPUTY EDITOR CREATIVE DIRECTOR

EMILY BACAL DALTON LACKEY

DIGITAL DIRECTOR

ALIJAH WEBB

MANAGING EDITOR

EVAN PAKSHONG

ART EDITOR ART TEAM

BEAUTY EDITOR

CLARA POTEET EMMA BRIGAUD, AVERY HINES, HANNAH MATTHEWS, SARAH MORGAN, JIAQING PAN KAELA SUNG

BEAUTY TEAM

NINJIN GANKHULEG, RUTH GOSHU, CHAI HIBBERT, SYLVIA SHEA

DIGITAL TEAM

CHRISTINA MCBRIDE, KIERA SEARS, OLIVIA TRAN, JAELA WATKINS, ZAK ZELEDON

FEATURES CO-EDITORS FEATURES TEAM

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ANDREW UHRIG

MARKETING EDITOR MARKETING TEAM

PHOTO EDITOR PHOTO TEAM PRODUCTION EDITOR PRODUCTION TEAM

PUBLIC RELATIONS EDITOR PUBLIC RELATIONS TEAM STYLE EDITOR STYLE TEAM

TECHNICAL EDITOR TECHNICAL TEAM

JOEL CALFEE, HANNAH LOWE LORIELLE BOULDIN, A. CHARIS CONWELL, SUNITA GANESH, VICTORIA HERNANDEZ, JACK MACKEY, RYAN POSTHUMUS, NINA WILLMS NIKKY PRICE STEPHANIE DOLAN, TAIANA JAMES, SAM MCCORMACK, EMILY POWELL, BEIREN ZHU IRIS WU ELLIE GRACE, SYDNEY MCCOURT, ALEXIS PEDRICK, FEI WANG PETER SAMAHA NOELIA AZIM, ANDREA GEBHARDT, KARISSA MCDONALD, CAMILLE OKONKWO, INEZ OLSZEWSKI, NEHA SHARMA SAMMY MURPHY SALIMATA SANFO, FATIMA JEREZ RHEA CHESSON ZARIELLE ANTHONY, MEREDITH ARNDT, ESTELLE EYOB, ANNA KASHMANIAN, LEYAH OWUSU, BRITNEY PRICE, LAUREN WHITE ABBIE DANIEL SOPHIA ARMITANO, SKYLAR BARRERA, JAKE KEALY

letter from the editor

Warmly,

andrew uhrig they/them

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We did it! This semester, ROCKET has gone above and beyond, yet again, so we could give you this issue. Every year I’ve been a student at William & Mary, I have worked for this magazine, and I can proudly say that this is our best issue yet. This semester we have produced more content than ever before — with 100 pages cover-tocover of photos, features, and art, this is our largest issue of ROCKET to date.

ROCKET has proven to be the most fulfilling experience I’ve had at William & Mary. Never did I think that I would grow as a creative person to produce the kind of work that sits before you — let alone be the Editor-in-Chief of this magazine. I have learned just as much from ROCKET as I have from my classes. Working with a staff of over 60 students not dissimilar from myself is a unique undertaking. We all invest our time and energy without compensation to create a body of work that satisfies a deep-seated creative need within

us. I have worked hard to encourage and motivate our staff, and have been challenged and supported in turn.

As much effort as our staff

has put into ROCKET, we would not be where we are without the support of professional organizations outside of W&M. We were recently shortlisted for the Stack Awards 2019 Student Magazine of the Year for the second time in as many years. We have also continued our work as student ambassadors for Adobe among many other exciting collaborations. We would like to give a special thanks to Three Sisters of Williamsburg for providing many of the style pieces included in this magazine, which we have marked with asterisks (*). Without all this help, we could only hope to create a magazine of the same quality.

In this issue, we centered our creating desires, and fantasies provocative content which spurs questions about our place in the world. How do we see ourselves in the present? How might we envision our futures? How have our movements in life affected us thus far? These questions are especially prevalent in transparency, wherein we explore how trans people “tell their stories.” As a GNC person myself, I feel personally attached to this piece and to ROCKET as a whole, as we continue to push the boundaries of social norms.

Thank you for picking up our magazine. I hope you take as much care in thinking about the enclosed content as we did in creating it.

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just for kicks in the process of painted faces (don’t) follow me user not found untitled don’t touch my hair in shades of blue

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modern magic

written by A. CHARIS CONWELL art by SARAH MORGAN

from fable to fringe Identify the witch.

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A. Some cold nights, around three hours past midnight, you may notice a quick shadow dart across the moon. This is Her. With green skin and hair like straw, her laugh cuts powerful men to their bones. If you ever hear it, stay indoors. If you are outdoors, run home. After all, she’ll get you, my pretty.

B. She’s always had a penchant for walking alone. She prefers the company of books to that of people, and the company of barn cats to that of books. Her hem is dirty, her hands are shaking, and her hair is slowly catching fire. She stares at the faces of her friends and neighbors, her brothers and sisters, and wonders how this ever happened to her.

C. I am thirteen, and my period cramps are so bad that I can’t sing anymore. Pat, my vocal teacher, gives me an Advil. When I have been crying for ten minutes, she says she is going to try something else. Left hand on an amethyst, she places her right between my shoulderblades. Swaying gently, she murmurs in a language I don’t recognize. I leave the studio with dry eyes, wondering what she was saying.

D. All of the above.

with the world over distant authoritative structures.

Speaking with practice novitiates on campus reveals a great deal about the spiritual freedom which Witchcraft can afford. Caroline, a practitioner of “Christian-adjacent” magic, believes that practice has helped to deepen her religious conviction. In her own words, “It feels less performative… This [spirituality] is mine now, it’s not yours necessarily, it’s also mine and this is my idea of the divine.” She traces part of her attraction to magic to a Christian summer camp, explaining that “everything would be awareness of things around you rather than ‘We’re doing this ‘cause we’re reading this and we’re following this…’ Kind of bouncing back what the natural world is feeding you.” Speaking of her practice and her faith, she said, “I think they’re very reconcilable… [I’m] kind of taking off religion glasses a little and squinting at everything.” For Dylan, both a self-proclaimed atheist and practitioner of earth-based spirituality, magic takes a different form: “[It’s] the thought of my attention, taking metaphor and making it physical… kind of putting a word to the way I see the world.”

Regarding societal perspectives on witchcraft, anxieties are present but not outstanding. Olivia, co-moderator of “Arts and (Witch)Crafts,” a weekly meeting of student practitioners at the Meridian, explains how public attitude towards witchcraft, while not inherently harmful, can highlight a certain ignorance. “If you wanna treat witchcraft like an aesthetic or a joke in your personal life, then whatever,” she says, “I’m not the Witchcraft Police. But it is a very important and deeply held belief for the people who practice it.”

This ignorance, while far from stifling their convictions, generally affects the amount with which those interviewed are open about their practice. “Most of my friends know to some degree,” Olivia explains. “There are one or two people who I avoid talking about it with as much as possible… but it’s not something that I am keeping from them.” Caroline chooses to keep her practice to herself, “not so much because I’m afraid

of stigma… but more [because] of a hyperindividualism about things.” On the general perception of magic practice, Dylan laughs out loud: “I’m a science major! Would me three years ago have taken myself seriously?”

In response to the current witchcraft “boom,” William & Mary’s practitioners largely expressed indifferent optimism.

“I think most countercultures or fringe movements are easily capitalized upon,” Caroline said, referencing the tidal wave of “witchy” paraphernalia, but elaborated, “I think everyone is trying to reach some — not spiritual goal — but some sort of spiritual journey.”

Olivia echoed the same sentiment in her own words, saying “I have a gut instinct to be like, ‘Oh no, I don’t want this to happen!’ but that’s kind of one of my obnoxious character traits, like being ‘indie’ or whatever… if other people find value in this, that’s awesome.” Dylan urges others to find validation and community, whether in magic practice or elsewhere: “Even if you have a feeling, or something that you want to do, that’s worth something.”

Witchcraft has always been a product of its time, but, once existing as an abstract representation of societies outliers, it is becoming a territory of the free, the inquisitive, and the open.

Centuries of history, clouded by time and misinformation, are feeding into a growing spiritual movement as diverse as the individuals who practice it. As Caroline explains, magic ranges from the broad “expression of what you find beautiful” to “reassigning value to things around you” in a way that spurs action, metaphysical and otherwise. It is doubtless that we are living in a period of change. Young people everywhere are questioning authority, rejecting uniformity, and demanding social progress.

Echoing the discordant counterculture of the ‘60s and ‘70s, and compounded by the instant accessibility of the internet and of social media, individuals are carving out spaces for themselves which not only respect, but exalt in their particularity.

Centuries of history, clouded by time and misinformation, are feeding into a growing spiritual movement as diverse as the individuals who practice it.

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Post-colonial societies generally understand things as existing within two general categories: The Norm and the Other. The Norm is the domain of the universal, the logical, and the clear. The Other is something else entirely: the taboo, the strange, and the un-explored.

In many ways, this dichotomy is self-fulfilling. As a society becomes “normalized” (i.e., conforming to the traditions and beliefs of the dominant group), the illusion of the Other is strengthened.

Without the drive towards understanding or study, the unknown remains unknown. As society evolves with the explicit intention of uniformity, the Other is intrinsically incompatible with the Norm and must either assimilate and forget itself or else vanish entirely. The Norm is all that remains, devoid of the linguistic, academic, or institutional tools necessary to account for anything beyond itself.

Accounts of medicine men, shamans, druids, alchemists, oracles, and wise women are far from uncommon.

Historically, the practice of magic as a sort of traditional blend between science and metaphysical spirituality dates as far back as we know and across every cultural divide. Historically, however, is the key phrase. What has changed over the last four centuries is the institution of a spiritual Norm, namely organized religion, and predominantly Christianity. As with all Other, magic practice must be conceived relative to the Norm: either in the un-enlightened “pagan,” or the enlightened-yet-adversarial “satanist.”

At best, these individuals are deluded, fruitlessly invested in fantastical rituals, and at worst they are dangerous, meddling in spiritual realities they ought not to. The idea of a practitioner existing as just another person is ludicrous — they are so clearly removed from the norm — and so we reframe them as monstrous, un-real. A Witch.

This identity, however, is undergoing a season of rapid growth. Thousands of young people, frustrated with the rigidity of conventional spirituality, are embracing the practice of magic as an alternative: one which esteems openness, individuality, and a one-to-one interaction

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heart held hostage photography by IRIS WU beauty by CHAI HIBBERT models GRAHAM FERGUSON, MARCUS BENGZHON, OLIVER RING written by RYAN POSTHUMUS

From cowboys to James Bond, there is no shortage of stoic role models for men in pop culture. In this article, Features writer Ryan Posthumus takes a closer look at Casino Royale to understand James Bond’s emotional reticence — and if there is anything worth saving about the Bond archetype at all.

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A man sits in a wheelchair in a grassy meadow. The birds are chirping and there is not a cloud in the sky. He is alone, save for the woman he loves.

As he awakens, he finds her gazing into his eyes. “You’re not going to let me in [your heart], are you?” she says.

“You’ve got your armor back on. That's that.” He looks up at her, eyes brimming with emotion: “I have no armor left. You’ve stripped it from me. Whatever is left of me. Whatever is left of me. Whatever I am. I’m yours.”

The quote above is from the 2006 blockbuster Casino Royale, the origin story of MI6 agent James Bond. The man in this scene is who James Bond once was: a man capable of deep feel-

ings and connection. Yet we do not remember him as a passionate and loving individual. The same goes for his love, Vesper Lynd. While she is sometimes remembered as a stereotypical "Bond Girl," she is a dynamic character who has a role in the plot outside her relationship with James Bond. Bond and Vesper’s relationship adds nuance to the James Bond archetype by challenging one of its core aspects: his emotional stoicism.

James Bond is everything a man is told to be. He is handsome, athletic, and more skilled than anyone else on the planet. From winning $150 million in poker at the Casino Royale to piloting a helicopter, there is nothing Bond cannot do. He is elegant and rugged, dressed

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to the nines in Tom Ford tuxedos and Omega watches, while ready to win a fist fight at the drop of a hat. Bond is widely believed to be the prototypical “Perfect Man.” I, however, disagree. Before his heart was broken, he was — but he isn’t anymore.

Before Blofeld, before the golden gun, before Skyfall, James Bond was just a man. A secret agent, yes, but one able to express emotion as any normal person would. He was capable of sadness and anger, happiness and love.

We see this Bond in Casino Royale: his relationship with Vesper was one of emotional connection and commitment.

Initially, her self-confidence threatens him, but Vesper’s independence ultimately causes him to fall deeply in love with her. It is this initial threat, her initial

rebuttal against him, that makes Bond grow as a person. He learns how to deal with emotional intimacy in a way he never had before. In the end, unfortunately, this same personal growth accentuated his pain and magnified his emotional contraction after her death. Though he had lost others before, this feeling was new. Never had he cared for someone so deeply, so passionately, and never would he again.

James Bond, as we know him today, is a man of steel. He avoids involvement in deep personal relationships and operates at a level of emotional neutrality.

For a world-famous secret agent of the British Government whose only source of stability is his career, this quality is often advantageous. This level of separation makes it easier to keep every-

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Propagated through popular culture, the concept of a stoic masculine archetype has existed for many decades. From the cowboys of 1950s spaghetti westerns to Christian Bale’s 2000s Batman, there has been no shortage of emotionally unavailable male protagonists for men to idolize.

one he meets away from the web of darkness which surrounds him. It is not only super spies that are encouraged to self-isolate in this way; all men are encouraged — subliminally or overtly — to develop this emotional void.

Why do men do this? Propagated through popular culture, the concept of a stoic masculine archetype has existed for many decades. From the cowboys of 1950s spaghetti westerns to Christian Bale’s 2000s Batman, there has been

no shortage of emotionally unavailable male protagonists for men to idolize.

Men close themselves off for a simple reason: we fear loss. This fear of loss leads to emotional isolation for two reasons. First, men see emotional conservatism as an effective mechanism to distance themselves from potentially painful emotions. Men are encouraged not to ‘burden’ other people with our problems, even when confronting deeply upsetting losses. We tend to bind our-

selves to impossible expectations of imperviousness to hurt, pain, and despair.

Loneliness and death be damned, we are expected to keep walking without a moment’s hesitation. At least, this is what popular culture has modeled for us.

Second, adopting a stoic persona precludes the development of any meaningful relationships. After all, if you don’t care about anyone, you can’t get hurt. As opportunities to build these

relationships pass by, men are denied the opportunity to learn what those connections feel like and the knowledge of how to build them. This mindset was hardwired into Bond after the death of his first real love, Vesper. The emotional stoicism he develops prevents him from processing his trauma and forming new, profound relationships. He doesn’t hesitate when a situation turns deadly because he has nothing to lose. He doesn’t fear death; he welcomes it.

Some would say that men need to stop looking at the old male archetypes as role models, that they are outdated and do not suit the modern world. I see it differently. Take the case of James Bond. I believe we should continue to try and emulate his perseverance, athletic capability, and social aptitude.

However, we should not aspire to his emotional emptiness, but realize our collective emotional potential. Let us not fear loss, death, or despair. Rather,

let us embrace life, beauty, and love.

Let us look on those scenes of Vesper and Bond together on the beach, in the meadow, on the boat, and understand the emotional potential that we all have.

After all, we are designed to love, so love we shall.

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We should not aspire to his emotional emptiness, but realize our collective emotional potential.

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art by EMMA BRIGAUD

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models in the studio

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photography by ALEXIS PEDRICK beauty by KAELA SUNG, RUTH GOSHU models JARED BERGEN, JANA EL-SAYED, JOSEPH KIM written by JACK MACKEY

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child's

play

Us post-teens, pre-adults face an imposing mandate for clarity and purpose, an impossible ultimatum that Features writer Jack Mackey argues can only be answered with a call for indecision. In other words, we’re not burnt out — we’re baby.

When my dad dropped me off for school this semester, he told me that this is the year I figure it all out. School is easier now that I’ve got a couple years under my belt, he said, which leaves me with ample time to meditate on what I want to do with the next five to ten to fifteen years of my life. After all, I already know what I’m passionate about, right? I’ve acquired the skills necessary to carve out my own space in the world? I’ve figured out what kind of person I want to be and what it takes to get there?

Yeah. Sure. I guess.

Certainly, this moment is partially a product of my own privilege. I have had the time and resources available to spend four years furthering my education and contemplating what the future holds for me. It is important to acknowledge that this is an experience not afforded to everyone.

However, I believe there is some kind of universal feeling of unease amongst us post-teens, pre-adults. It’s the feeling that makes me flinch every time someone asks me what my plans are for jobs this summer, or where I want to live after graduation. And it produces

an anxiety that interrogates the ways in which I choose to spend my time during this prolonged period of transition from angsty teen to competent adult.

That’s what this is, right? A transition? Caterpillar blah blah chrysalis blah blah butterfly? Or, rather, a (mediocre) kid that takes advantage of educational opportunities afforded to him so that he might become a legible, efficient, and productive member of society? In other words, we’ve been told that there is a destination at the end of this moment of post-teenageness, mandating that we find clarity and purpose right now in order to get “there.”

We’ve been presented with an ultimatum that is exhausting to confront.

It’s no wonder, then, that we’re diagnosed with the condition of burnout.

People (“adults”) say we’re burnt out because we’re overextending ourselves and doing too much. The burnout prescribers’ logic, though, collapses onto itself if you think about it. We feel the pressure to do as much as we can right now because we’ve been told (by these same people telling us we’re burnt out) that this is the only way to find our path forward. But the burnout diagnosis is completely off basis because we’re not burnt out. We’re baby.

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Caterpillar blah blah chrysalis blah blah butterfly?

Or, rather, a (mediocre) kid that takes advantage of educational opportunities afforded to him so that he might become a legible, efficient, and productive member of society?

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Think about it: we are the “I’m baby” generation. Or at least we’re currently in the temporally confusing period of life in which we are all baby. We’ve convinced ourselves that a cool way to display our activism and/or edginess is by displaying it on our clothes with block text boldly proclaiming things like “I don’t give a fuck,” “girl power,” and “homophobia is gay.” As if this is anything but us performing a reprisal of the equally edgy text on baby bibs reading: “My parents think they’re in charge…that’s so cute,” “iPood,” and “I still live with my parents.”

I’m baby, you’re baby, we’re all just baby. At least for right now. And that’s okay. This moment of post-teen, pre-adulthood is just another iteration of us figuring out the world. The first time around, we were literally small infants running around, crying, and screaming.

This time, we’re just much larger human people running around, crying, and screaming.

The problem with the imposition of a demand for clarity and purpose is that it refuses to acknowledge the joys and pains that come with growing up again.

There is little room for pain during this transition into adulthood because the story, as it has been told, is one of growth. This moment is supposed to be full of the joy of finding ourselves, of

This time, we’re just much larger human people running around, crying, and screaming.

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finding our path and going after happiness. Sure, we might trip once or twice and take a tumble, but we will get back up and keep going.

But that’s just a fairytale. Finding ourselves has been, and will surely continue to be, one of the most rewarding and joyful processes we’ll experience. But sometimes we trip and fall and stay there for a little longer than everyone else seems to think is appropriate. We’re just there, on the ground, motionless, and the pain hits. It’s these moments of pain that adults like to elide when telling us babies about their postteen, pre-adulthood selves. As a result, the story they keep reading to us becomes saturated with joy and absent of pain.

This is all to say that there is value in remembering that, in this moment, we are baby. Some of us may grow up faster than others, but we’ll all eventually get to participate in adulthood. I have to keep reminding myself that being an adult is not an endpoint but a process, which is to say that all the adults are making it up as they go, just as much

as we are right now. But, there is also value in lingering in this moment of baby-ness because it’s not necessarily a moment we’ll get to experience again.

I want to appreciate this moment for all its joy and all its pain. Sure, life will suck sometimes, but I’m baby so I’m allowed to cry and scream about it when I feel that way. In the same vein, I’ll have some of the best experiences of my life during this moment and I’m baby so I get to smile and scream about it when I feel that way too. (In both scenarios, I’m allowed to take my time experienc-

ing whatever it is I’m experiencing.) I’m allowed to trip and fall and lay there as the pain sets in, as long as I remember that my baby body is super durable and I’ll have the ability to get back up eventually. I’m also allowed to buy a dumb shirt from whitemarket that says “sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come” and love it because I’m a baby and babies look cute in everything. I’m allowed to take my time growing up again. Besides, I’m not entirely convinced the whole adulting thing is worth rushing towards.

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the skin you’re in photography by ANDREW UHRIG beauty by KAELA SUNG, NINJIN GANKHULEG models AJITHA BALA, DIANA IBARRA, SANDRA RODRIGUEZ, KYLE VASQUEZ written by LORIELLE BOULDIN

From Ancient Egypt to social media, humanity has always ascribed morality and worth to clear skin.

In this piece, Features writer Lorielle Bouldin considers the damage imposed on our collective psyche by unrealistic beauty expectations.

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How many times have you scrolled down your timeline and seen the caption just drink water or don’t stress accompanied by a flawlessly clear and radiant golden hour selfie? With companies profiting off our skin insecurities through ads that tell you how much of an improvement clear skin can be on your confidence, it doesn’t help that we have begun to worship the new skincare movement on social media.

People with clear skin who talk about their expensive twelve-step beauty routines are the norm and we aspire to be on their level. We relate face masks and nighttime routines to self-care when self-care is much more than that.

Striving for smooth skin has become so common that we forget that a flawless complexion is nearly unattainable in the first place.

This fantasy predates the social media age. Historically, many societies have been obsessed with clear skin,

dating back to the use of makeup and milk baths in Ancient Egypt to conceal or resolve skin blemishes. Egyptians worshipped the idea of smooth, pale skin to such an extent that they began using depilatory and skin lightening creams to achieve these unrealistic beauty ideals.

Not much has changed since then; we still try anything and everything to obtain flawless skin. The only difference is whose beauty standards we idolize.

From nobles and the upper class donning heavy makeup and wigs to movie stars undergoing cosmetic surgery and fake tanning, class has always played a role in defining what is considered beautiful. Today, influencers on social media are modern royals, showcasing their effortless beauty to those who can only aspire to such levels of perfection and affluence. We scroll through picture after picture of fresh-faced selfies and skincare products reminding us how important it is to have clear skin.

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The association of clear skin with wealth means that every time you look in the mirror you’re reminded of your social status. The clearer the skin, the higher the class to which you belong.

The most effective skincare products have the highest price tags. Influencers post expensive mud masks from GLAMGLOW or La Mer moisturizers recently added to their skincare collections. In reality, most people don’t have the accessibility to a monthly dermatologist or to invest in high priced products.

But we also have to recognize that the skincare movement has a hint of colorism hidden inside of it. Society only begins to accept people of darker complexions when they have admirably clear skin. It’s as if melanin has to fit into the box of cocoa butter smoothness in order to be welcomed and celebrated in our society.

There’s no question that social media has taken over our lives, but we don’t realize the effect it has on our self-esteem. When we’re constantly exposed to images of “perfect” skin and comments under every post of drop the skincare routine sis!, it’s easy to feel like you’re not doing enough to keep up with the ever-changing trends of society.

The moment we begin to set our own standards of beauty in society is the moment we begin to accept ourselves.

We can teach the next generation that they don’t have to be self-conscious about their skin. Think of how the images you saw growing up impacted how you see yourself today — what you would tell your younger self about their self-image.

Diana Ibarra, a senior at William & Mary, said, “I would tell my younger self to look more towards the future and less at my face.” “[Your skin] shouldn’t be something

It’s as if melanin has to fit into the box of cocoa butter smoothness in order to be welcomed and celebrated in our society.

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you’re afraid of,” sophomore Ajitha Bala said. She explained how she would tell her younger self to “embrace and celebrate your difference through your skin.”

Social media and the beauty industry can divide us, but they can also bring us together. The digital sphere is a space where we can feel visible — we just have to make sure that everyone feels beautifully represented. We shouldn’t feel like we have to hide our skin, especially when we realize that imperfection, not perfection, is the norm.

We have to recognize that not everyone is represented, that people with acne should be walking down runways.

People with rosacea should be posting their golden hour selfies unfiltered.

People with eczema should be seen in commercials and ads, and people of all different skin types, colors, and textures should feel beautiful in their own skin.

You should feel beautiful in your own skin.

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1619 marks the start of the complicated relationship between labor and image in American history. The arrival of “20 or some odd” enslaved persons from Africa at Point Comfort, only a few miles from Williamsburg, catalyzed the colonies’ use of enslaved laborers. This labor would serve as the backbone for the construction of not only the United States of America, but also of William & Mary.

The Wren Building has sat as the heart of Historic Campus since its completion in 1700, seven years after the College’s charter was issued. The building is indisputably iconic, as both the oldest academic building in the country and a contemporary staple in ongoing collegiate life. It is one of William & Mary’s most significant artistic contributions to the American architectural canon. Students vie to take classes in the Wren specifically for the appeal of its history and the magnetism of its aesthetic. Its looming presence, in many ways, symbolizes the allure of being a student at the College while also physically imposing our general creed – tradition, gravitas, and legacy.

It is not only appearances that matter; names hold a specific power to highlight and erase certain parts of communal memory. The name “Wren” came about only in 1931, through the reconstruction of the building as a part of philanthropist John D. Rockefeller Jr.’s restoration of Colonial Williamsburg. This project was part of the Colonial Revival movement, a school of history that valorized the imagined austere aesthetic and ethos of Colonial America. Restoration of William & Mary’s most prominent building renamed the structure — formerly known simply as “the College” — to its current title, an homage to English architect Sir Christopher Wren. His iconic style invoked prestige in the growing professionalization of architecture during the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. Naming the restored building after him bound William and Mary’s aesthetic legacy and prestige to Sir Wren.

However, the Wren is built upon

more than aesthetic. The idea of the nameless “the College” leaves us with ambiguity. Prior to 1931, prior to construction of prestige, how did the university community conceive of Wren’s function, both in art and utility? The unspoken labor that created our collegial aesthetic reminds us that such images also function as veneers for more complicated histories.

“It’s an exciting time in institutions like this, whether they’re higher education or museums[,] about whose history is being included here,” said Professor Susan Kern. Dr. Kern is the Executive Director of the Historic Campus and

and aesthetic had damaging consequences — most prominently, the erasure of African-American contributions to the Wren Building’s function and form. The intentionality of such erasure is complicated. Dr. Kern commented on this historical revision: “I don’t think [the architects] are particularly saying, ‘Let’s erase [Black history],’ but the only reason they’re not saying, ‘Let’s erase it,’ is because they’re not even thinking about it.”

Restorationists were primarily focused on creating an aesthetic rooted in what is unequivocally a white supremacist perspective that prioritizes

explained that Wren’s 1931 reconstruction by Rockefeller birthed the beautiful and functional piece of Colonial Revival architecture as part of the movement’s attempt to construct Anglo-Saxon legacies.

“Part of this Colonial Revival period is looking for a white Anglo-Saxon history for everything — they’re proud of this relationship to the colonial past, and part of that is slapping royal pedigrees [like Wren] to everything. It gives that pedigree,” Dr. Kern explained.

The construction of an Anglo-Saxon (read: white) narrative through name

Anglo-Saxon heritage. The erasure of enslaved persons from the landscape appeared as almost an afterthought in the Colonial Revival movement. Dr. Kern further dissects the complication, saying, “It’s hard to say, right? Which is more pernicious? To say that it’s not intentional erasure or that [restorationists] just didn’t think about [African-American contributions]…in the end, the damage is still the same.”

The collaboration between the Historic Campus during Dr. Kern’s tenure as its Executive Director and the Lemon Project (William and Mary’s ongoing

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[Wren’s] looming presence, in many ways, symbolizes the allure of being a student at the College while also physically imposing our general creed – tradition, gravitas, and legacy.

people] lived. And this ‘holy ground’ narrative, you know, it’s really a twentieth century construction…it’s something that was said often enough that people started believing it.”

Dr. Allen and Dr. Kern both assert Wren’s function goes above and beyond an academic building. It’s historical significance is also the result of its role in providing a domestic living space, one that asks us to look beyond the veil of academics and their aesthetic allure in order to acknowledge the shared community among Wren’s inhabitants.

“The whole building is a slave landscape,” said Dr. Kern. The interactions

taining, repairing, cleaning, cooking... all of those important [roles],” Dr. Allen explained.

It’s important to note that shift is recent — Dr. Allen recalls the challenges in the fight to construct the university’s memorial to enslaved persons on the Historic Campus. “There’s still a ways to go,” she said. “There this idea of the Historic Campus as this ‘holy ground,’ and that it cannot be changed. That’s a challenge we’ve had, particularly in getting the new memorial to the enslaved constructed, which just has to be on the Historic Campus — it’s where [enslaved

between faculty and students and the enslaved labor that supported and fostered them draw out a history of the building that contrasts the Colonial Revival pomp and circumstance in which the Wren is shrouded. For the enslaved people who lived and worked in the Wren, the building was a domestic space; it was a space of daily existence and care.

Scholars such as Dr. Kern and Dr. Allen are only recently uncovering Wren’s role as a home for members of the College who were not acknowledged as such. The instinct to consider

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the Wren Building sacrosanct and strictly academic creates a false dichotomy between that and the aesthetic of community linked to Wren’s prior domestic function. It’s also fair to ask whether our conception of Wren’s austere aesthetic is belittling and invalidating to the histories of the enslaved laborers who preserved Wren as a home for so long.

It necessitates a complicated responsibility for students. While embracing the building’s aura of academic grace, we must simultaneously embrace its foundations in the labor that birthed a community of unspoken artists and architects.

Dr. Allen summarizes this tension and asserts the necessity of both aesthetic traditions: “If you’re going to be truthful, it has to be both of those things.

I don’t think there’s a reason to take away the ceremonial piece. It’s great that people go there when they’re getting ready to graduate and ring the bell.

It’s great to see the first year students come through after Convocation. It’s great that seniors meet up there [for Commencement] and walk to Kaplan.

None of that should change — these are nice traditions,” she said.

She continued, “But the reality is that in the seventeenth, eighteenth, and even the first part of the nineteenth centuries, enslaved people lived and worked there and maintained it. You can’t get rid of either [narrative]. Both stories have to be told. And we also need to continue to remember those folks, because not remembering them won’t make them go away. That history will always bubble back up until you do the right thing, and that’s really what we’re trying to do now. It’s not an either or — it’s both, that’s the reality.”

written by SUNITA GANESH

It’s also fair to ask whether our conception of Wren’s pomp and circumstance is belittling and invalidating to the histories of the enslaved laborers who preserved Wren as a home for so long.

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reconciliation effort to identify and credit the labor of enslaved persons on campus), has sought to restore balance.

The past five years in particular have seen increased acknowledgement of the Wren Building’s complicated past.

Dr. Jody Allen, Director of the Lemon Project, notes that we’ve shown improvement as a community in interpreting the Wren Building and other aspects of the Historic Campus.

“Tours, like the Spotswood Society’s, now include all of the inhabitants of the building, certainly the faculty and students, but also the enslaved men, women, and children who were main-

transparency

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photography by ANDREW UHRIG models DES, SADIE WILLIAMS written by JOEL CALFEE, ANDREW UHRIG

Many of the stories we see in the media of trans/gender noncomforming (GNC) people — and minoritized folks generally — follow a script that lays out their trauma for a disengaged audience. Though doing so can be cathartic for subjects, what does it mean for audiences to consume these narratives? Editor-in-Chief andrew uhrig and Features Co-Editor Joel Calfee explore what it means for mainstream audiences to need these narratives in order to think about trans/GNC people as people.

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This quote is one that metaphorically refers to trans and gender non-conforming individuals as celestial beings.

This metaphor paints for us an inspiring image of spirits who are bright enough to light up the universe, but also inserts the subtle notion that these people are required to project themselves through an expanse of darkness in order to be seen.

Too often, trans stories are characterized by overwhelming darkness.

Trans, nonbinary, and gender non-conforming folks may be forced to endure a debilitating amount of trauma throughout their lives, but this pain is frequently

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“we need the sun to thrive and any time we see sunlight we want to be in it.”

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“There’s this quote from Janet Mock that I often think about and sometimes I have to go rewatch the video, just so I can hear her say it. The quote goes something like this: ‘We are a mesmerizing constellation — so vast it can’t be contained, so plentiful it can’t be denied, so brilliant it shines through the dark.’ I just think that’s really beautiful.”

“I think we are all here for a reason, whether or not we know [the reason].�

While it is important to recognize the constant threat of violence against trans people, we need to change the ways in

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highlighted and exploited by the media.

Mainstream journalism covering trans issues lingers in the spectacle of trans death. Chosen families are left to mourn the lives of those lost, wondering how long it will take for the threat of violence to disappear.

Since trans and gender non-conforming (GNC) people are so often associated with suffering, they are seen solely as victims. This is not to say that we should disengage in dialogue about specific obstacles trans/GNC people face, as this would ignore institutional transphobia. However, dialogues about trans people should not reduce them to victims because this process both dehumanizes trans people and distorts mainstream perceptions of them. For a collection of people who are constantly battling the warped lens through which the public sees them, this is a premise that needs to be dismantled.

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which we think and talk about gender more broadly.

“I am beautiful, I am bold, I am sensitive, and I am soft. I am courageous.”

For our cover story this semester, ROCKET used a new approach. We sent out a form to LGBTQ+ groups on William & Mary’s campus and asked for anonymous submissions from trans/ GNC folks. In an effort to promote visibility for trans people while deconstructing the harmful narrative the media spins around them, we told our respondents to share their stories openly and that we would keep their identities private. Anything they wanted to say, we were grateful to hear. Whatever joyous, outrageous, acrimonious, or effortless thought that popped into their head was fair game.

Instead, we wanted to focus on the complexity of these individuals.

In theory, this concept seems absurd. Why do we have to humanize transness at all? One might think that we are at a historical moment where we don’t need to tell stories that explicate the full scope of a human (trans) experience. Needless to say, we are still at a point where trans lives are misunderstood.

More often than not, the visibility that trans people get is not the visibility they need. When we think of trans/GNC folks in the spotlight, there is often an immediate concern with their pasts and the intimate details of their lives. Trans autobiographies and memoirs abound because audiences look at trans people like mythical creatures that they want to understand. Consumers desire “the

“I love my gay boyfriend.”

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“I think the only thing that makes me feel at home in my body is walking. The steady movement of my feet against the ground, my self transited forward, ever forward.”

“I’m happy when I’m cooking dinner with my friends and I’m happy when we sit on someone’s bed talking for hours and I’m happy when we play board games.”

“Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, my breakfast is a piece of cake (literally).”

“I’m passionate about writing, about dance, about movement, about creativity of the body, spirit, and mind.”

This is a collection of stories written by trans people, but the focus is not on whether these are “trans stories.”

“I’m a sucker for full bookshelves, and I’d love to own a house someday with floor to ceiling shelves.”

The emphasis is not placed on the pain that trans people have to endure, even though this suffering is valid and can be a significant part of trans people’s lives.

“When I was younger, [sometimes I thought] about how much I wished I didn’t exist. Because existing meant being misgendered and isolated and excluded, by everyone, forever. I hated being trans.”

Since trans and gender non-conforming (GNC) people are so often associated with suffering, they are seen solely as victims.

“I often walk around thinking about how many of the other people around me also lack a sense of home in their bodies.”

der people are armed with a finger to point whenever someone transgresses gender boundaries. They don’t realize that the fabricated gender binary which dictates our society is not sustainable.

Cis people want to pin trans folks down like insects and classify them in an effort to deal with their own insecurities and reaffirm the gender binary to which they are accustomed. When everyone is easily grouped, then no one is forced to look introspectively. It can be difficult to reckon with the fact that no one can be easily categorized.

“I often walk around thinking about how many of the other people around me also lack a sense of home in their bodies.”

“I’m currently in love with someone and it’s like magic. I’m happy I’m alive.”

private past,” “the concealed suffering,” and “the wearying transformation” of these individuals. Spectators try to probe into their medical histories and uncover the “truth” about their bodies.

They make damaging and violent references to deadnames and childhood appearances, or they ask scrutinizing and inappropriate questions about their sex lives and romantic partners.

“I had a vision of distorting twist of bluish light, a lens creating a hologram named [deadname].”

Cis audiences, both queer and straight, are upset by anonymity and non-conformity because it forces them to turn inward. In our cultural context, we feel the need to identify others, and it frustrates us when we can’t. Cisgen-

“I love my chosen family. I love the people I call home. I love that I have come to this campus and was welcomed into a world of beings who love me for me and who have come to know me, beyond the narrative that I once created for myself.”

“My friends make me so glad that I exist… Being around people who love me exactly how I am makes me want to love myself too.”

“One day, we will set the world aflame with our love.”

The language of love can be a powerful tool in reenvisioning how we talk about transness. Forming public discourse around love for trans people because of their transness, rather than pity for trans people because of their suffering, has the potential to create radical shifts in our understandings of gender. This focus on experiences of

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This story is an attempt to take that power away from audiences who objectify and exploit trans, GNC, and nonbinary individuals. We are giving space to allow these individuals to have their stories told without having to put themselves in the public eye or put forth distressing anecdotes. We asked them to be real with us, and their responses fell nothing short of that request.

Many concentrated on how they experience an overwhelming sense of love. They talked about all of the people in their lives who care for them and the sense of community that they’ve created.

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love and joy contributes to the wholeness of trans stories. Without the inclusion of these pieces, we see fragments of the trans and gender non-conforming lives all around us. It is stories such as the ones we collected that tell us everything. This is a collection of stories written by people.

“When I was 15, I didn’t think it was possible to be trans and happy. But I’m so happy.”

“I have a very ambitious and specific dream of what I want to do with my life.”

“I am empowered by the people I love, and seek to find the good. I am thankful for this body, for this time, for this.”

“One day, we will set the world aflame with our love.”

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just for kicks

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photography by ELLIE GRACE art by EMMA BRIGAUD, AVERY HINES, JIAQING PAN, CLARA POTEET

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in the process of

reaching

down

and pulling him out art by AVERY HINES

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painted faces

photography by SYDNEY MCCOURT beauty by KAELA SUNG models MELIA EDGECOMB, PUPPY, ROMEO art by CLARA POTEET written by NINA WILLMS

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Female sexuality is often depicted from a male perspective, creating an impossible double standard. One artistic canon which exemplifies this gendered type is the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood. Features writer Nina Willms examines the role of a lasting patriarchal expectation in this school of art, considering how this myth translates to the modern day.

was formed in 1848 by a group of English artists who rejected the then-popular style of painting and grappled with taboo topics of the time — primarily, sex. They found inspiration in medieval and literary settings, drawing from history, legend, folklore, and fantasy to craft exquisite and ethereal paintings.

Women were common subjects of these works, and they exuded an unprecendented sex appeal. Some modern critics, such as Clarissa Sebag-Montefiore in The Guardian, claim that these pieces gave women agency, depicting them as “sexual creatures, capable of sexuality, lust and carnal passion, even if such behaviour is, in many stories they tell, punished.” The paintings certainly were shocking for the Pre-Raphaelites’ audience, who believed that women did not possess any form of sexuality.

However, the fact remains that these images were created by men to be viewed by men. These artists chose to impose their own idea of female sexuality — one that conforms to male desires and fetishizes certain physical

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The Pre-Raphaelite woman’s long, red hair covers her breasts, her sensual eyes are averted, her clothes are unkempt but modest; she lives within a balanced construct of femininity that paralyzes her. She can’t move her hair aside whilst holding her eyes away from the viewer. She can show some skin but has still somehow got to cover herself. The male artist has a very particular formula — an impossible fantasy dictated by the legend of the ‘perfect woman.’ Her allure doesn’t come from a real form of sexuality, rather, one that is dictated by the male gaze.

The sense of sight and the act of looking are powerful instruments. The gaze takes an image and transforms it, attaching expectation, emotion, and hierarchy. In today’s readily-available and image-charged media, this process continues to ring true. But how can a simple act of ‘looking’ be altered to take on a powerful new meaning?

And how have men specifically used this power to their own advantage?

The Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood

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features — upon a contrived form. Although the Pre-Raphaelite depiction of women is situated in a far-off past, the construction of female sexuality is a phenomenon that is all too familiar to a modern audience. Think of all the ways women are presented for mass consumption: quite often they are posed, rearranged, formed, and molded to fit a specific form of beauty and sexual appeal that is determined by the male gaze. More often than not, these images create an impossible expectation of simultaneous sexuality and modesty.

When viewing a male-constructed image of a woman, Pre-Raphaelite or not, a common theme emerges. The woman negotiates the Madonna-Whore complex in a way deserving of praise, but

this is solely because of the man’s role in constructing such a fantasy. Realistically, this expectation is far from achievable. How can a woman be expected to be ‘virtuous but sexy’ and ‘chaste but promiscuous’ without being shamed for being more of one than the other?

These images translate to expectations. Women are expected to be sexy but not ‘slutty,’ modest but not ‘prudish’ — they’re asked to toe a line, to express sexual freedom only to the extent that it is attractive to men. Like paintings, women today quite literally cannot move without receiving criticism. A clever and confident woman is called a ‘bitch’ by her peers and co-workers, when her male counterpart is ‘just so funny and motivated.’ A

promiscuous woman is called a ‘slut’ while a man is upheld for his ‘game.’

Time and time again, women are frozen in a frame, painted and conditioned by society’s strange and problematic expectations to be appealing to men’s tastes. Social media mobilizes these expectations, creating a living gallery of images produced by and for consumers: an instructive course on the idealized twenty-first century woman.

Arguments are made that things are changing — surely we aren’t still in the Victorian era? Surely we’ve achieved a level of liberation? Perhaps not. Take a closer look and the reality is that the gaze remains — always expecting, always restraining, always watching.

Time and time again, women are frozen in a frame, painted and conditioned by society’s strange and problematic expectations to be appealing to men’s tastes.

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photography by FEI WANG beauty by CHAI HIBBERT, KAELA SUNG models DAPHNEY EDOUARD, IDAN WOODRUFF written by HANNAH LOWE

In this piece, Features Co-Editor and champion of Gen Z Hannah Lowe examines the recent trend towards the creation of public and private spaces online. With discussion of personal branding, “finstas,” and the FBI agents in our phones, she proposes a simple theory: the kids really are alright.

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For much of Generation Z, social media is socially mandatory.

There are certain unwritten rules about social media: Twitter and Snapchat, for example, are for friends. Facebook is for middle school classmates and beloved teachers from high school.

LinkedIn is for soulless drones. These rules aren’t codified, but they dictate the way that many people negotiate privacy and access in online spaces.

We are undeniably in the age of social media. For much of Generation Z, social media is socially mandatory. If someone can’t be found on Instagram, do they even exist? Facebook, despite facing constant critique for its political hemming and hawing, is still integral to the social lives of many — including its detractors.

Beyond the mere existence of an online presence, the development of an online persona has become increasingly relevant. Perhaps one’s desired archetype is Weird Twitter wunderkind,

contributing to the online Neo-Dadaist movement with incomprehensible memes and deeply personal confessions wrapped in jokes (“the mortifying ordeal of being known,” anyone?). Another option is aspiring Instagram influencer; the story you tell on your profile needn’t even be true as long as you make it idyllic. If Caroline Calloway could do it, why can’t you?

All this is to say: there is no such thing as a candid online presence. Many social media users create a brand for their online self by curating an aesthetic or the affected lack of one. Though Instagram insists that the “grid” doesn’t matter (we hear you, Eva Chen), thousands of users will spend countless hours designing the right look for their profiles. Despite the lack of economic incentive for this development of a personal brand, young people with no aspirations to “influencer” status are in-

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creasingly creating an idealized image of themselves that they present to their followers. They design the perfect online double for their imperfect reality. It’s a wonderland and a horror show. The individual is in complete control of their self-representation but, in some cases, they step further and further from the real with each post.

In response to the creation of front-facing online presences, many users, some of them the same people with perfect profiles, have created new spaces for imperfect expression. The burden of appearing flawless in public can be linked directly to the explosive popularity of the “finsta,” the private Twitter account, modified or fake names on Facebook, and the use of semi-anonymous platforms such as Tumblr and Reddit.

Users, often from Gen Z, are negotiating online privacy on their own terms.

They create profiles that can only be followed by a curated list of people, thereby creating a space to speak candidly and personally without worrying about unwelcome eyes prying into secrets and flaws. It’s not uncommon to see a young person with a private account with fewer than fifty followers where they exclusively post unattractive photos (“bad” selfies, silly pictures of friends, miscellaneous memes) captioned with deeply personal confessions. Using privacy tools like protected accounts and “soft blocking,” digital natives are carving out room for privacy in a space which seems inherently public.

Of course, this reality comes with the knowledge that nothing is ever truly private. Teachers impress that on twenty-first century students early: “The Internet is written in pen, not pencil.” For all the jokes about FBI agents watching us through our phones and laptops, there’s the knowledge that the vast majority of our digital movements are recorded. The curtain of private accounts and Incognito Mode is just that: a curtain. Just about everything can be found with the right knowledge of where to look. This leads to fascinating hypotheticals: in twenty years, will a presidential campaign be derailed because of the behavior of the candidate when they were twelve years old with Internet access and a Google account? If Ralph

Northam and Justin Trudeau’s blackface incidents can be uncovered in physical yearbooks, imagine the information that will emerge when the formative years of an entire generation are documented and digitized. What will the witch hunts of the future look like? Certainly, issues of privilege will factor into the discourse about who is punished and who is absolved. Where will we draw the lines of acceptability and condemnation?

If this all sounds a bit dystopian — it is. We are in a brave new world of life online, but that means the youngest generation has no illusions about the digital spaces in which they are growing up. Social media is ubiquitous but it does not have the power of mind control. Already, we see young people negotiating their own spaces online and harnessing the power of social networking for good. Where would the March for Life or the Youth Climate Strike be without the digital space for young people to talk and organize? Trivial though they seem, fintas and private Twitters are an expression of autonomy within a system that frightens many who knew life without it. These are the manifestations of the Internet’s productive potential. The analogue childhood might be over, but the digital adolescence is raising a generation with eyes wide open.

They design the perfect online double for their imperfect reality.

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photography by DALTON LACKEY beauty by CHAI HIBBERT, KAELA SUNG models ELMIRA ADILI, AVA MAGHOULI written by EMILY BACAL

What would I find if I read your emails?

Deputy Editor Emily Bacal responds to this question with what you would find if you read her emails. In the integrated digisphere, nothing and no one exists outside the purview of review, that is, the domain of technosphere power players. So open your eyes and close your cameras, because this is the new irreality.

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Social Selves & Digital Dilemmas cheesepull32@rocketmail.com bushdid911@rocketmail.com

Hey. Dude. I just had some crazy thoughts. You know the other day, when we were talking about getting to know someone through their social media before you actually meet them? Well I just thought about the possibility that, like, if someone hacked your browser histories, and looked at your searches and social media posts and comments and like spotify listening histories etc etc they could know even MORE about us. Like kind of know everything about us. Right? Just a thought.

Social Selves & Digital Dilemmas bushdid911@rocketmail.com cheesepull32@rocketmail.com

Social Selves & Digital Dilemmas cheesepull32@rocketmail.com bushdid911@rocketmail.com Dude, I haven’t touched acid since I told your little sister that Santa was created by capitalism to brainwash children into equating excessive consumerism with moral worth!!

But anyways, like yeah I see what you’re saying with instagram ads but okay, so some social media is a very curated aestheticised version of you but idk I feel like in some of my weakest moments I’m googling crazy shit, like how to tell if you’re allergic to gluten or whether Denmark is in Scandinavia or what the politically correct definition of a twink is. You know?? And also, there are some viruses that allow people to access your computer camera and microphone. I saw it in Oceans 8 when Rihanna fucked up that guy’s desktop with a dog ad or something.

Anyways, so if in your most unstudied moments you ask google the questions that, like, you’re sometimes too scared even to ask your friends, and if say hypothetically someone can watch/listen to you while you’re like, sleeping and jacking off and shit, then I think they could get to know you pretty damn well.

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Dude you’ve got to cut it out with the tabs!!!! That shit fries your brain.

But anyways, yeah I guess if someone could see all that stuff and spent, like, hours studying it or created an algorithm to synthesize it they could know a surface level version of you. That’s what Bezos is doing, right? And that data is used to target all the ads you see and whatever.

The other day instagram actually saved me time cause I was looking for boots and then I saw the cutest pair in my insta ads and I bought them, so. I’m not mad about it.

Social Selves & Digital Dilemmas bushdid911@rocketmail.com cheesepull32@rocketmail.com Dude. I forgot about the Santa thing. But now that you bring it up, I do think I saw a copy of the Communist Manifesto on my little sister’s desk today, so, thanks for that.

But I guess you’re right about cameras, and, well… it is kinda strange to think that if someone hacked your postmates they could know when & what you’re eating, or if they hacked that app that tracks your ovulation cycles they would know when you’re fertile, or the record of your heartbeat your fitbit uses to tell when you’re sleeping or excited about shit. Like, hypothetically, if someone hacked my computer and saw what I was watching on Netflix, and also hacked my fitbit and aligned the timestamps of what parts of the show got me excited or turned on or whatever, that would kinda like allow them to amass data on affective responses to media and cultural stimuli. And I do kinda put all my shit into google calendar and use location services and stuff, so, like, anyone could kinda easily figure out where I am and when I’m there.

I’m starting to get scared. Stop fucking up my life lol.

Social Selves & Digital Dilemmas cheesepull32@rocketmail.com

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bushdid911@rocketmail.com

Dude. I’m starting to kinda feel like I’m being watched. I don’t know.

I can’t tell when my cameras are recording. My targeted ads have always been pretty spot on, but right now they feel a little too accurate … I texted someone that I wanted to grab coffee and then I got a starbucks ad, and, like, I tweeted about being sad and got an ad about depression medication. I don’t know…

Social Selves & Digital Dilemmas bushdid911@rocketmail.com cheesepull32@rocketmail.com

Dude. Relax, I’m sure you’re just thinking about it all a lot right now so you’re reading into things.

Although, sometimes I do feel like Alexa is listening to me. Right?

She has to be listening to me at all times so she can know when I want something from her.

Also I just thought about health data -- why am I just thinking of health data! -- but you know all that 23 & Me stuff where they’re using people’s DNA to ID culprits of crimes that have been cold cases for yeeears. And like there’s nothing preventing them from selling all the data about your disease propensities to insurance companies.

So, your most intimate genetic data -- shit that maybe you don’t even know!-- becomes the property of Big Pharma. They own your genetic data, google owns your search histories and preferences and has access to all your documents. They own more of you than you own of you, in some sense.

cheesepull32@rocketmail.com bushdid911@rocketmail.com

Dude I… I’m having so many thoughts liiiiiike what are we doing, when we’re putting so much of ourselves online?? With what lungs, what words are we speaking, backwards-forwards-in-between-sideways:: what visions of peace apocalypse utopia traipse through the silvered slivers of our daydreams?

Whose hand is it that melds our minds to function in these very particular ways, these traceable trackable mineable patterns consuming us as we attempt to consume the world. Of what are made the signs? Whose lease did we sign on to, on whose property do we live?

Radically, how do we care-but-not care, become the sorts of consumers who consume so as to not be consumed, but don’t spend so much time digitizing reifying packaging ourselves that we chew digest and swallow ourselves up as well. How are we supposed to face into the future, into reality, when surrounded constantly by innumerable mediations.

How do we tap into the real, is there anything unified? Wading through endless currents of information, what do we choose, how do we believe?

AND, not only just a you, but when the you becomes part of an aggregate of digital data, when the you is factored into analytics of online trends; well, then, can’t the tailored ads experiences content your internet browsing shows you shuffle you towards a norm, a majority, a certain specific sentiment or aesthetic or value?

When its all tailored and curated and arranged on a shiny digitized platter, when clicks are tracked and tracked and you keep falling into the same level of bandersnatch -- when you think you are choosing, that BuzzFeed is calculating out your responses but there was really only one answer all along and you’re just mechanically falling into the assumption that you ever did have a choice. Democracy, access, yes, but who has the servers? Who is writing the algorithms?

Who is crafting the code? Don’t forget that these happy platforms, this wide open terrain is emphatically forged and created for a possibly multifaceted but absolutely intentional purpose. How does your purpose, your goal, the value you perceive yourself to obtain from the internet fit into that purpose? Is your internet presence a want or a need, a fear of disconnection or a desire to connect or both or neither?

What do we do with this influx of fragmented brief cultural moments, things which used to swirl us up in the present but not anymore because now we have one foot in the nostolgia-hole of the past and the other in future’s ravenous hypersphere. Do we ever get to just stand still???

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Social Selves & Digital Dilemmas

Social Selves & Digital Dilemmas bushdid911@rocketmail.com cheesepull32@rocketmail.com

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I’m coming over.

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Address not found Your message wasn’t delivered to bushdid911@rocketmail.com because the address couldn’t be found, or is unable to receive mail.

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untitled

89 art by SARAH MORGAN

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photography by FEI WANG beauty by KAELA SUNG, RUTH GOSHU, SYLVIA SHEA models NUHAMI ALEMU, EKUA BINEY, AMBER BOWMAN, CAMRYN CLAUDE, MAKEDA DANIEL, FRANCIS EDEMOBI, ABDI HASSAN, JARICE MASON II, DRISCOLL TAYLOR JR.

left to right top to bottom DRESS VINTAGE, SKIRT VINTAGE, JACKET VINTAGE, SWEATER VINTAGE, COAT VINTAGE, SCARF BY PRIMARK, SWEATER BY NORDSTROM, EARRINGS VINTAGE, PANTS VINTAGE

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don’t touch my hair

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93 clockwise from left CARDIGAN BY TOPSHOP, TOP BY UNIQLO, EARRINGS VINTAGE, VEST BY BERSHKA, SWEATER BY UNIQLO, TANK TOP BY URBAN OUTFITTERS, TOP BY LOS ANGELES APPAREL, TOP VINTAGE, BLAZER BY DKNY, SWEATER BY CALVIN KLEIN, TOP BY AMERICAN APPAREL

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GLASSES VINTAGE, PANTS VINTAGE

shades shades shades shades shades shades

of blue of blue of blue of blue of blue of blue

in in in in in

shades shades shades shades shades

of blue of blue of blue of blue of blue

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art by HANNAH MATTHEWS

in in in in in in

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