January 2012 Vol. 7
TM
Dear Sassy Scribe . . .
NFL Football Predictions
ear Y New ou Y New
Extreme Couponing
The Rebirth of J’NICHE Fashions Best Locations 4 Best Deals
Building Relationships: Dads and Daughters Pt 2
Meatless Monday Recipes
Happy New Year, Where did 2011 go? It seems like we just celebrated the coming in of 2011. This year is so full of potential and possibilities. This is the 7th issue of our magazine. Many thought we would not last past the 1st issue . I even had my doubts. But here we are . Going full steam ahead . I am not going to start spouting out New Year Resolutions. Resolutions usually don't last past March any way. I just want to be the best Me that I can be. I need to make a bumper sticker saying just that. If you decide to be the best You ,things will run a lot smoother in your life . In order to have the best year you can, you have to conquer the area between your ears– your mind. The mind is where the real battle is. You have to set your mind to something before your body can follow. What is it that you have wanted to start but hesitated? Where is it that you have wanted to visit but have declined the opportunity? Take a chance on you. Begin to do the things that you have always wanted to do. Be the best YOU that you can. You are an important undiscovered asset to this world. Step out of the shadows of self doubt, self disrespect and complaining. Step into the sun and possibility of a brand new year. The door is open to your future, walk through it.
Be Blessed, Roxanne
From The Editors Perspective Meet our Cover Girl 4 Contributing writers 6 Poetry and Prose 7 , 15, 24 Meatless Mondays 8-9 Rebirth of J’Niche Fashions 10-13 You and Your Money 16-17 Travel and Shopping in 2012 18-21 NFL Playoff Predictions 22-23 Spiritual Insights 25 Extreme Couponing 27 Dear Sassy Scribe 28-29 Daddy’s and Daughters 30-31 Contact us 32
Meet Carole Lofton 47 years young Single Sassy Scorpio Mother of two beautiful daughters and Grand Diva to two handsome
grandsons Grew up in Grand Prairie, TX Administrative Assistant Model/Actress & Entertainer
As we begin the New Year, my hope is to inspire other women of all ages and sizes to follow their dreams. As an empty nester and forced to start a new position, I needed to find something to bring back the joy in my heart. Modeling has always been a dream for me so I stepped out of my comfort zone and leaped into the world of modeling wearing 4” heels and red lipstick. I have discovered that being a plus size diva is fulfilling and I can rip the runway with the best! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And I am grateful that God holds me. We are made in His image, therefore no matter our age or size we each have a gift and beauty to share with the world. Your selfesteem is very important. Hold your head high, shoulders back and strut your stuff! Begin 2012 with plenty of attitude and gratitude! Follow your dreams.
“You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt 4
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Pastor Nannie German Sr. Pastor of Spirit and In Truth Ministries in NJ . Pastor German writes our Spiritual Insight column.
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A Brand New Year and I’m A Brand New Me It’s A Brand New Year and I’m A Brand New Me Continually being transformed by my Lord, you see. I have not made New Year’s resolutions Although, I have come to this conclusion. This is A Brand New year and I’m A Brand New Me Simply because another year I have been allowed to see. I don’t take for granted that I am still here, My awesome God shows me just how much he doth care. It is A Brand New Year and I Am A Brand New Me ! Leaving the things behind that does not edify my spirit and body. No, I have no resolutions, they are hard to keep, Therefore I have cast my concerns at my Saviors feet. He promised to mold me and make me if I called on his name I know he is faithful and true, and in him I need not be ashamed. Ashamed of who I was once upon a time, I am continually changing like a bottle of fine wine. Each day that I live, I am stronger, wiser and sweeter you see, All because of the Spirit of Jesus Christ that lives in me. I am moving forward, letting go and Letting God have his way He is Making me brand new each and every day. It is A Brand New Year And A Brand New Me . ©Evangelist Janice O. Alston 12/2011 7
Meatless Monday Recipes
Black Bean Burgers Ingredients 1 (16 ounce) can black beans, drained and rinsed
1/2 green bell pepper, cut into 2 inch pieces
1/2 onion, cut into wedges
3 cloves garlic, peeled
1 egg
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 tablespoon cumin
1 teaspoon Thai chili sauce or hot sauce
1/2 cup bread crumbs
Directions If grilling, preheat an outdoor grill for high heat, and lightly oil a sheet of aluminum foil. If baking, preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C), and lightly oil a baking sheet. 2. In a medium bowl, mash black beans with a fork until thick and pasty. 3. In a food processor, finely chop bell pepper, onion, and garlic. Then stir into mashed beans. 4. In a small bowl, stir together egg, chili powder, cumin, and chili sauce. 5. Stir the egg mixture into the mashed beans. Mix in bread crumbs until the mixture is sticky and holds together. Divide mixture into four patties. If grilling, place patties on foil, and grill about 8 minutes on each side. If baking, place patties on baking sheet, and bake about 10 minutes on each side. 1.
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Very Veggie Lasagna Ingredients
2 cups 1% cottage cheese
1 (15 ounce) container reduced-fat ricotta cheese
2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley
1 (26 ounce) jar meatless spaghetti sauce
9 uncooked lasagna noodles
2 medium carrots, shredded
1 1/2 cups broccoli florets
4 ounces fresh mushrooms, sliced
1 small zucchini, thinly sliced
1 small yellow summer squash, thinly sliced
2 cups fresh spinach 2 cups shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese
Directions In a bowl, combine the cottage cheese, ricotta and parsley. Spread 1/2 cup spaghetti sauce in a 13-in. x 9-in. x 2-in. baking dish coated with nonstick cooking spray. Top with three noodles and a third of the cheese mixture. Sprinkle with half of the carrots, broccoli, mushrooms, zucchini and squash. Top with a third of the remaining sauce. 2. Arrange half of the spinach over spaghetti sauce; sprinkle with a third of the mozzarella cheese. Repeat layers of noodles, cheese mixture, vegetables, sauce, spinach and mozzarella. Top with the remaining noodles, cheese mixture, sauce and mozzarella. Cover tightly and bake at 350 degrees F for 45 minutes. Uncover; bake 15 minutes longer or until noodles are tender. Let stand for 15 minutes before cutting. 1.
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T H E RE B IR TH O F J ’ N I C H E F A S H I O N S
J’Niche, LLC (pronounced Ja-Nee-Chee) - J’Niche, LLC is the parent company to several sub level organizations: J’Niche Clothing Line, J’Niche Promotions & Event Planning, Women Like Us (WLU), and J’Niche Girl Radio; spearheaded by Owner and CEO, Tamisa Hunter. Women Like Us (WLU) is the Christian based women’s support group that was established to promote women and their selfworth. WLU comes together with women and girls to discuss several areas that they feel may better fulfill certain voids within their lives by giving in depth testimonials in striving to build their faith, as well as building a better sisterly bond amongst themselves. WLU works closely with local shelters, nursing homes, and church organizations within the Dallas/Ft. Worth Community Outreach network.
WEFGW sat down with Ms Tamisa Hunter to ask the questions our readers want to know. WEFGW :What motivated you to start a fashion line? J’NICHE :Being a plus size woman in today’s society is not easy, there are very limited stores in the market today that caters to the plus size woman that are both stylish and fit properly. I wanted to capture the beauty and essence of a curvaceous woman through the use of clothing that fits her everyday lifestyle. WEFGW :What was your 1st design? J’NICHE: The first design that J’Niche created was a pair of denim jeans with the embroidered J’Niche brand on the pocket of the jeans. WEFGW :What is your design process? Does something just hit you or you set aside specific time? J’NICHE: My design process usually consist of something that just hits me while other times I am inspired by events, locations, smells, moods, or 10
WEFGW :Why should our readers be interested in the rebirth of j-niche? When will new line be available and where. J’NICHE :The readers should be interested in the rebirth of J’Niche because of its belief in catering clothes that goes across all the different lifestyles that a woman goes through in a given day from office, to after five to, bedroom. J’Niche continues to believe that a plus size woman is uniquely made and need clothes that can express her individual beauty. The new J’Niche Spring 2013 line will be available September 2012. WEFGW :Is there any thing else you would like our readers to know? J’NICHE :J’Niche wants the readers to stay true to themselves and get ready for the spring 2013 line that is going to represent the true beauty and essence. of a plus size woman. Visit our site at www.j’niche.com
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Have you ever wondered what motivates a fat girl to stay positive in a "pro skinny girl society"? My book “What Every Fat Girl Wants “will answer those questions once and for all. You will laugh and you might cry but you will hear the truth from a fat girl’s perspective.
Available at www.whateveryfatgirlwants.com , www.amazon.com , www.smashwords.com and the Dock bookshop in Ft worth Texas . Available in print and as an eBook for your Nook and Kindle 14
When you're a plus size woman, people like to say "yeah, she's cute in the face", as if being full figured is such a disgrace. Honey, I'm cute in the face, and I'm thick in the waist. I look good whether I'm in cotton, leather, or lace. I'm beautiful, vibrant and above all, smart! And there's more to me than weight I also have a heart. Yes my clothes might be a bigger size, that just means you have access to a bigger prize. We all are not self-conscious about our weight and we never have a problem getting a date. So don't think your small frame gives you more pull, I'm a hot sexy curvy woman with a figure that's full!!! 15
You and Your Money $$$
Do you find that the amount you
In the meantime, if you forgot you filled
think is in your checking account is
up your gas tank on Friday, then went
never the same as what the bank says?
on a shopping spree on Sunday, you
Does this cause expensive overdraft
may be in trouble!
fees? Embarrassing returned checks?
Now, of course many banks have sev-
Then start using a register and balance
eral different options as overdraft pro-
your checkbook on a regular basis!
tection, but some of them can still be
Now, I know in the times that we live in,
costly. Talk to your banker to see what
most people like and want the conven-
may fit your needs best. Here is where a
ience of technology and rely on the bal-
transaction register comes in handy
ances they get at ATM’s or with their on
(also known as a ledger). In order for a
-line banking application.
transaction register to work properly, you need to record your transactions of-
Unfortunately, some transactions may not post to your account the exact minute you request the transaction. Some of these transactions may include purchasing gas with your debit card, authorizing a telephone payment from your debit card, writing a check to someone else or to pay a bill, or maybe even some things you pay utilizing your banks bill pay banking application.
These items may take one day or several days to show up in your account. 16
ten.
You MUST save your receipts from
A big reason people overdraft their ac-
debit card purchases to do this. My
count is because they play ―the posting
recommendation to my clients is to
game,‖ crossing their fingers and
write down the checks in their ledger
HOPING that an item won’t post until
as they write them. As for debit card
their deposit comes in. Did you know:
receipts, you will need to do it as often
―State laws generally provide that it is
as you feel comfortable; some people
illegal to write a check—knowingly or
do it immediately, especially if they are
negligently—without having sufficient
running very tight. Others will do it
funds to cover the check on the day
every night and some may do it
you write it. This applies to any t rans-
weekly. Figure out whatever works
action..‖ (www.helpwithmybank.gov)
best for you. Just because you wrote down your deposits, withdrawals, and purchases down in your register does not mean you are in balance. You will have to reconcile with your statement, or at the very least with your on-line banking. If you need help with this, ask your banker! Believe me, they would LOVE to show you how to reconcile your account! Often times, there are accounting errors in a register; poor addition or subtraction, transposed
Sara Hughes
numbers, and items that didn’t get recorded.
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Jan 2012 New Year Shopping
Freeport , Maine Unlike outlets malls or centers, Freeport
Does skiing down a black diamond trail
is an outlet town, just two and a half
make my pulse race? Not really. How
hours north of Boston. But don't be fooled
about twisting around turns on the
- it doesn't look like an outlet town. Before
world's fastest roller coaster? Not so
a shop can open its doors, it has to meet
much. Perhaps a cage dive with a great
strict design codes that ensure Freeport
white shark? Nope. Could it be finding a
keeps its charm without adding any
Ralph Lauren Purple Label cashmere
kitsch. The result is that Freeport feels
sweater for a mere fraction of its retail
like any other quaint Maine town... just
price? You got it!
one with lots and lots of really great bargains.
I'm an outlet shopper. A serious outlet
170 outlets line the city's Main Street (or
shopper. I've planned entire trips around
should that be Maine street?), including
destinations with outlets malls, driven
Freeport's undisputed king, L.L. Bean.
nine hours in search of the ultimate bar-
Here, you can burn a lot of calories as you
gain, and have had to buy an extra suit-
walk to all the shops, including the every-
case (at an outlet, of course) in order to
body-knows-their-name stores like Tumi,
bring all my deals home.
Burberry, Coach, Banana Republic,
From coast to coast, I've prowled outlets
Dooney & Bourke, Bath & Body Shop and
the way a hungry lion stalks the Serengeti,
Patagonia, as well as local finds like Lovell
sniffing the air for slashed prices on a
Design (for jewelry) and Abacus (for to-
Prada purse, L'Occitane body lotion, even
tally unique housewares and gifts).
Fini Gold Label balsamic vinegar. This is
Inside Hint : The large L.L. Bean store on
an overview of my favorite outlets in the
Main Street isn't an outlet; the store's dis-
Northeast corner of the U.S.: where the
count shop is actually located in the park-
best bargains are, where to recharge, and
ing lot across the street, behind the Ralph
tips and hints that could save you even
Lauren and Cole Haan outlets.
more during your visit. 18
My Best Bargain : I bought several pairs of $250 shoes at Burberry for $29 each. How to Save Even More : Go to www.FreeportUSA.com and download special offers from the "Coupon" section of the site. Where to Recharge : All year long, you can grab a snack at Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream (located right in front of L.L. Bean's main store; and, trust me, there are no lines in January) or enjoy a sitdown meal at Gritty McDuff's, Freeport's original brewpub (located on Route 1, just Âź mile from Exit 19). How to Get There : From Boston and Points South, take I-95 to the Maine Turnpike, Exit 52. Follow signs to I-295 North and take Exit 17, 20 or 22 for Freeport. All of these exits lead directly to US Route 1, which is Main Street.
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Kittery , Maine
shopping at that store instead of the store
One mile. 120 stores. Beautiful water
in Kittery. Why? Well, the merchandise is
views. The Kittery Outlets area, located
the same in both stores but you won't pay
just over an hour north of Boston, is as
any sales tax in New Hampshire.
scenic as it is a shopper's paradise. Stores
Where to Recharge : There are a few res-
are located in named clusters, like Tanger
taurants along the strip, but my favorite
Outlet One, along the mile-long strip, and
place to replenish body and soul is a
you'll need your car to get from one clus-
bench next to the Nine West outlet. Grab
ter to the other, especially if you plan on
take-out from Noel's CafĂŠ and Coffee
amassing several shopping bags.
Shop (located in the Maine Outlet cluster)
Stores include Puma, Gap, Calvin Klein,
or Starbucks Coffee (located in the Manu-
Dana Buchman, Brookstone, Timberland,
facturer's Outlet cluster) and then drive
Coldwater Creek and Wedgewood; and
south to the bench-with-a-view at the
there's a Crate&Barrel outlet that will be
Maine Gate Outlets cluster and enjoy
your dream-come-true if you're looking
lunch overlooking the marsh and ever-
for serious discounts on upscale furniture
greens.
(do you have your moving van ready?). No
How to Get There : From Boston and
trip to Kittery is complete without a stop
Points South, take Route 95 North to Exit
at Kittery Trading Post where you'll find
3 in Maine, marked Kittery/Coastal Route
everything you need to enjoy life in the
1 North; The Kittery Outlets are a half
great Maine outdoors (think of it like L.L.
mile beyond, on Route 1 North.
Bean's little brother). My Best Bargain : I bought a $1,200 dresser at Crate&Barrel for $180. How to Save Even More : Go to www.TheKitteryOutlets.com and download coupons from the "Special Discounts" section of the site. Inside Hint : If you're a big fan of Old 20
Navy, consider crossing the bridge into Newington, NH and
Central Valley , New York
relatively speaking, but, if you ever get the
I saved the best for last. Woodbury Com-
chance, head to the Space store outside of
mon Premium Outlets puts "Premium" in
Florence, Italy where you'll find Prada
the name. This outlet center is just 60
bargains that are so good, you'll practi-
minutes from New York City, and at 4.5
cally speak fluent Italian by the time you
hours from my home, my husband and I
leave.
have been known the make the entire trip
Where to Recharge : The Food Court has a
in one day (hey-when you're in the mood
range of options, like Desert Moon Fresh
for a bargain, a 9-hour drive doesn't seem
Mexican Grille and Posa Posa Too Pizze-
that bad).
ria;
220 stores are here, including Ashworth-
How to Get There : Take New York State
Callaway Golf, Carolina Herrera, Diane
Thruway (I-87) to Harriman, Exit 16.
Von Furstenberg, Kate Spade, Dior, Die-
A bargain shopper sharing this kind of
sel, Elie Tahari, Emilio Pucci, Tag Heuer,
classified information is nearly akin to the
Chanel, Gucci, Betsey Johnson, Michael
Coca-Cola Company and Colonel Sanders
Kors, Oilily, Whew!
revealing their secret recipes. So take my
My Best Bargain : Mark bought a $750
advice-but don't tell anyone else-and get
Ralph Lauren Purple Label cashmere
out there and score some bargains! How-
sweater at Neiman Marcus Last Call for
ever, if you find a pair of Manolo Blahniks
$7. Yes, $7. (I told you I saved the best for
at 75% off, please leave them for me. Con-
last!)
sidering all the insight I just shared, it
How to Save Even More : Just like Wren-
only seems fair.
tham, visit www.PremiumOutlets.com for the list of current and upcoming sales and join the VIP Shopper Club for even more
Rona Walton Destynee Travel
deals. Inside Hint : If you love Prada (and who doesn't?) don't look for the Prada outlet; instead, head into the Space store where you'll find nothing but Prada and Miu Miu. The prices are good for the brands,
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2012 NFL Playoff’s Special Edition of WEFGW Sports 101
Can you believe it? The NFL regular season is over already! It seems like it just started! Oh, how I love football! If I had it my way, a football season would last a couple more months. Now, I now all the controversy over that, being football is SUCH a tough sport on the human body. Well, that is another topic in itself, so back to the playoffs. This article is totally my opinion, but I thought this special edition would be fun for all of you that have a newfound knowledge of the game. First off, let me tell you a little about me. I don’t bet. I don’t gamble. Most sports fans seem to bet a little bit; a beer, a pizza, or even the hard earned cold, hard cash. Not me! Nope, won’t do it! Not even the beer! Why, you ask? I use my heart more than my head in sports, which does not make for a smart gambler. With all that being said, I am going to make my 2012 Playoff and Super Bowl predictions. Also, please keep in mind I am a HUGE Chicago Bears fan. With being a Bears fan, that means I am a Packers hater. It is ingrained in every Bears fan! (The whole head vs heart thing, again.) The wildcard games will be over by the time this edition is published, so I may have the whole picture all botched up after week one! There you have it. Sara’s Super Bowl picks. Don’t call me on February 6th and tell me how horrible I did, I warned you, I pick with my heart more than my head J Now, for a little reasoning behind my picks. I would have picked Pittsburgh to go all the way, but I am not sure how healthy Big Ben, the QB for the Steelers, will be; he has an ankle injury. I think San Fran is over-hyped; I think they have been more lucky than good. Obviously, I hate Green Bay. And, unfortunately, Houston is using their 3rd string QB. Next year, the Bears will be in this bracket Sara Hughes 22
* The highest
seeded team always plays at home.
** The teams in Bold and Italics are the defintes. All the regular fonts are my picks.
Wildcard
Divisional Playoffs
Conference Championship
2012 Super Bowl Champ February 5, 2012 Indianapolis
5. Pittsburgh 5. Pittsburgh
4. Denver
2. Baltimore
2. Baltimore 1. New England
6. Cincinnati 6. Cincinnati 1. New England
3. Houston 1. New England
NEW ORLEANS
5. Atlanta 5. Atlanta
4. NY Giants
5. Atlanta
2. San Fran 3. New Orleans
6. Detroit 3. New Orleans
3. New Orleans
3. New Orleans
1. Green Bay 23
Though My Heart Grieves:
Though my heart grieves you leaving this place, My soul rejoices that you have completed the race. No more suffering, no more Pain You are with our Father who doth supremely rein. you always had a kind word, a smile to share, often times helping me to forget the burdens I had to bear. So now the time has come for your Blessed rest, This Life is over and in Our Fathers arms you have Peace and only our Fathers Best. I will try not to cry, or even ask why, but it is so hard, when, to those we love, we must say good bye. Though my heart grieves you leaving this place, I will Praise God that you have finished the Race. Š Evangelist Janice O. Alston 11/2011
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New Start! Happy New Year to everyone!
I'm going to stop dwelling on the things that I did not do or get done last year. I'm going to keep on living with the help of God on my side ,
It's 2012! We have stepped into a new year!
I'm going to make it ! I've come too far to turn
Glory to God!
back now!
I don't know about you but, I am ready for the
How about you my sister or brother? So .........no
new fresh start! New year! New beginnings! Res-
matter what your new year's goal may be , put
toration! 2011 was a bless year, because I was
God first and go for your dreams or visions. Stop
able to see it. Pastor's not complaining but , I
talking about ! Get up and do something! If all
can say that my good days out weigh my bad
you do is try! You did try! Step out in faith with
days last year. Whewwwww! Thank you Jesus for
the direction from the LORD! God does not call
your grace & mercy!
us to anything that He has not equiped us to do!
God truly watched over me and many of you! I'm just ready for something new and refreshing!
Enjoy life while you are here! Let the Lord Jesus Christ lead you.
Are you? Excited about God! Knowing that He is
Have a happy new year! A blessed year filled
up to something good! No matter what things
with joy over flowing! What ever you do put God
may look like ,I'm going to trust in God!
first! God never fails. Forget about the naysay-
I want more of God in my life! Can't get enough of my LORD! He is so mighty , awesome, mag-
ers! Keep it moving and trust God! Have a very happy new year! God bless you all.
nificent, wonderful! The more of Him I get , the
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his
more I want!
righteousness; and all these things shall be
If you did not get it right last year Maybe you
added unto you. Matthew 6:33
had made some mistakes. I'm hear to encourage
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean
you today, to push...... the Reset Button! Let Je-
not unto thine own understanding. In all thy
sus be the Lord of your life and no matter what
ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy
you may go through this year, Let God will be in
paths. PROVERBS 3:5 & 6
control of your life. I'm not telling you, that trials will not ever come, but with the Lord you can get through it!
Pastor Nannie D German Madison NJ
Don't give up on God. If you have not seen a break through yet. Hold on to Jesus and don't let go! The Lord will work it out for you.
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A CALL FOR WRITERS
Beauty – Seasonal trends, product recommendations, and how-tos Fashion – Featured designers, runway and celebrity coverage, trends, editors’ picks, and spotlight on style. Arts & Entertainment – The newest and best in music, movies, television and books. Travel – Reviews and ratings of hot spots, new spots, underground destinations, domestic and abroad Health & Fitness – Health awareness, prevention information, and fitness tips.
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•Business & Career – Entrepreneur and Career advice along side consumer financial news Life Style - Inspiring human interest stories and life enhancing articles. Food – Reviews, recipes, and chef highlights.
We are seeking writers in the above categories. If you would like to be a contributing writer please contact the magazine WEFGWMAGAZINE@yahoo.com
Let me tell I know you have heard about this extreme couponing . I saw the show on TLC and thought if they can do it so can I . Well I am hear to let you know how much FUN it is. I started couponing for about 4 months. And I have met some really nice people . Let me explain my routine. I usually get my Sundays papers from the Dollar tree . All the papers there are $1.00. Right there you save money. The papers in the Dallas area are 3.50 each. When you get to the store at 9am there are already about 10 women there waiting
you right now. You will get some items for free. But the shopping magic that they do on extreme couponing is not the average shopper. Don’t set your sites that high . You will be disappointed. Go for the items that are on sale and that you can get the 75% saving on. Set up a list of items that you want to stock up on. I usually go after paper products and soap powder, dish liquid, deodorants and body wash. I love getting body wash for free for my hubby. He loves Old Spice and I do too. FREE IS FABULOUS!!.
on the guy to deliver the paper. So while you
You can do it. Remember to have fun while you
wait you talk and compare info.
do it. Talk to other people. Ask questions. Check
When I looked on line to find out about couponing I found several sites that are great. www.couponmom.com www.krazycouponlady.com www.coupondivas.com www.raininghotcoupons.com Many of these sites will give you a beginners
out the websites. You too will become a Crazy Coupon Lady. Here’s my stockpile . I spent about $50 total. WOW.
course on couponing. How to set up your coupon binder. This is where you keep all your wonderful coupons. How to read the sales pa-
Roxanne
pers. How to do price matching at Target and
Harris
Wal-Mart. My advice to you is to visit these sites when you have about 90 minutes to study. Believe me it is not as hard as you think.
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Dear SassyScribe: A coworker of mine reads your blogs and I am now a fan. You give practical real advice and that is what I need. I am woman in my late thirties and I have been dating a man for the last year, and I have a problem. This man is the same age, has one child and is financially successful in his own right. My problem is he always talks about the bodies of other women. He exclaims out loud when a woman with a good body appears on the television. He has an extensive porn collection that I feel is more than the average man should have. I try to convince myself that I am open minded and adult enough to handle his attitude, but I can't. I don't know how to tell him that I my feelings get hurt when he drools over other women regardless of them being on TV or not. I don't like him making wolf whistles and cat calls about a woman’s breasts or her butt. It makes me wonder why is he even with me. I don't have the bodies of these types of women. I don't think that I am an unattractive woman and I could stand to loose some weight, but he makes me feel so very ugly when his tongue hangs out his mouth because of a big butt and big breast.
My girlfriends tell me its not a respectful situation that I am in. They tell me that he never asks me out and I am always asking him to go places and to do things. They tell me that I need to leave him alone, but I can see that this
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is a good man. He pays his bills on time, and when we do go out I have
a lot of fun, it’s just that I get self conscious whenever I see a pretty woman with a nice shape. I know what his tastes are and I ask myself what is it about me that he likes that made him date me in the first place. In the past year I have gone on diet after diet because I feel that if I lose weight he won't look at other women. I am afraid to talk to him about this because I hear him saying how women need to step their games up and not to let our insecurities mess up situations. I need help. I know I should leave but I want to know should I talk to him about this or just continue to grin and bear the situation.
Confused ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
him and have developed feelings for him, makes this situation even harder. If you plan on losing weight, do it for the betterment of yourself, healthier lifestyle, quality of life, etc...DO NOT DO IT FOR HIM OR ANY MAN, because this man sounds like it’s all about him.
Dear Confused: First off I want to thank you for reading my blogs...and tell your coworker thanks for turning you onto me. WOW is the first word that came to mind when I read this. I don't know what to say...On the one hand, I know that men love Janet Jackson, Halle Berry, Beyonce, Gabrielle Union and others like that, and I know that they may stare at the TV a little harder and longer when they are on there, but as a woman, I do the same thing when I see Shemar Moore, Brian J. White, or Boris Kodjoe...they look good and everyone loves eye candy. However, you're friends are right. It sounds to me as though you are in a relationship by yourself and at his convenience. I am asking myself what it is he saw in you if you state that he makes lustful outburst at the sight of beautifully shaped women. That is wrong and it’s disrespectful. Understand that men look at all WOMEN, everyday. Men are always looking because like us they are visual creatures as well...but to make a statement or comment about another woman’s' body in your presence is telling me that he is not feeling you at all.
I suggest that you leave, but before you do, say what you have to say. Tell him how his word of admiration for other women in your presence upsets you. Tell him that you want to know what it is/was about you that made him date you? Ask him why he feels the need to voice his thoughts and believe that you would be okay with what he says. It sounds to me as though this man, (who is acting like a high school boy) is masking his own inadequacies by expounding on the outer physical beauty of others that he feels beyond his reach. Tell him if he wants a woman with a certain type of shape then he needs to go and find her and leave you alone. I know that leaving a person is hard. I know that we get used to daily routines and doing/ expecting things with certain people, but this man is selfish and concerned only about himself. If a man truly wants you he will find a way of spending time with you and will also want to do things with you. Leave this one-sided situation and move on to a man most worthy of your love and respect.
SassyScribe
If he was a male friend and said that I could understand, but as a man that you are dating and I can tell from your email that you are feeling
29
Man Up for our Daughters- Part
home. Daughters should feel home
Two
is safe for
In part one of our article we covered five areas: Independence, Patience, Money Management, Ability to say no, and Daddy.
them and a place where they will be understood, heard and
In part two we’ll briefly cover the
taken seri-
next four areas. Self esteem,
ously.
Fitness, Negotiation of purchases, and Importance of Higher Education.
Fitness is an area where fathers can show the importance of taking part
As a father many of us tend to focus
in exercises not only from a health
more attention on our sons and
stand point but also from a self es-
push our daughters in a corner hop-
teem prospective. Conquer the
ing they don’t get pregnant before
health issues early through walk-
they move out of the house. Fathers
ing /cycling with daddy and watch
have the first opportunity to shape
how strong that self esteem will be
their daughters self esteem
for years to come.
through positive affirmation, hugs, listening, and spending quality time.
Daughters as well as a lot of women complain about paying too much for this or that. When daughters pur-
As cruel as kids can be these days fa-
chase their first car she should have
thers must be ready to counter the
daddy by their side instructing her
negativity of the world outside the
on how to negotiate a fair price
30
and how not to give in to a high
that fathers must instill into the
pressured sales person. Dads
mind of their daughters ensuring
must teach their daughters to stand
they are not only prepared to face a
their ground when purchasing and
sometimes cruel world but the men
that they have the power and the
who live in it. In closing I say fa-
choice to spend or turn and walk
thers…. Man up today ….Man up
away and not feel ashamed.
now don’t delay. Show these daugh-
Higher education should come before any serious relationship. Dads should be prepared to listen , give
ter what men are and aren’t .We welcome any feed back you have on this topic.
great advice, address the future versus now, attend schools visited with your daughter (mean mug all young
Steve Harris
men who look At your daughter) .This relationship between a father and daughter is the foundation that teaches a woman how to get along with men choosing a mate and being married to one. One of the most important words in this entire article is the word‖ quality’, this word quality should be researched to get a greater understanding of the Real meaning of the word. Thus far we have covered just nine areas 31
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