46
30
Photography by Mallary Denson Makeup: Roni Nikol Higdon Dress:Fashion Nova Earrings: Shop Disrupshion
Winter 2021|4| royalteemagazine.com
his winter edition is a little bit of chills and lots of love! Actually, the more I think about it, I believe this may be RoyalTee Magazine’s first unofficial love and relationships edition. And as a growing brand that’s constantly ,I am cool with that. This special double-cover edition is dedicated to love and defining it (or redefining it) in each season of your life. Whether that’s happily married or single. In an age where our generation feels you have to build one before the other, our RoyalTee spotlight couple, Mark and Brittney McKinnon, show us that it’s possible to build whole individual, successful careers while also building a successful marriage at the same time. All it takes is a little faith and a little friendship. And, of course, the right companion to secure that Also, with that love, don’t forget to bring a little joy to your season! The love journey of our Royal Woman cover, Joy M. Hutton, took a 360 when she opted fear out for optimism and stepped out of her comfort zone to build the next chapter in her love life. Sometimes those things we desire are outside our bubble. Do you have the courage to step out? And although COVID-19 continues to rewrite our new norm, wedding bells are still in the air and soul mates are still being found. (Reminder: Stay masked up!) If you’re single, I hope you take this time to heal and love on yourself, more than ever. Do what you need to do FOR YOURSELF to prepare for that next chapter and remember you’re worth it! Because it’s coming. Here at RoyalTee, we’re hopeless romantics! There’s a regal love for everyone. But you don’t need anyone to find love and joy. It starts with you. Love is love. May you know it, accept it, enjoy it and give it back out.
- Alexia McKay Founder, RoyalTee Enterprises Publisher and Editor in Chief, RoyalTee Magazine For booking and other inquiries contact editor@royalteemagazine.com
Winter 2021|5| royalteemagazine.com
On The Go
9 11
12 13 16 19 22
RoyalTee Talks: Sex & Intimacy RoyalTee Talks: 10 Things You Should Work On Before Dating Situationships vs. Relationships
Royal Women 30 40 46
Spread A Little Love Joy We Said ‘I Do’ During The Pandemic A Regal Love
Dating Yourself: A Journey to Self Love and Discovery Guy Friends, Female Friends How Many Of Us Can Have Them? 10 Questions You Should Ask Your Partner Being Taking The Next Step
24
Respect My Bubble
On The Rise 24 25
A Chi-Town Sweet Tooth Koko With Love
40
Royal Men 26
Danirhi
Winter 2021|6| royalteemagazine.com
Mallary Denson Photographer Publisher’s Note PAGE 4
Roni Nikol Higdon Makeup Artist Publisher’s Note PAGE 4
Mallary is an amazing female portrait photographer located in Tampa Florida. capturedbymallary.com
Roni is a professionally trained/certified celebrity makeup artist and the owner of Flawless Faces by Roni-Nikol LLC in Tampa, FL. roni-nikol.com
Kim Clark Makeup Artist A Little Love Joy, PAGE 30 Kim is the owner of Kim Clark Artistry and KCA Designs, based in Houston, TX.
Tonya Buford Writer 10 Things You Should Work On Before Dating PAGE 11 Tonya is a Washington DC native and creator of Singles Pop Up and Couples Pop Up.
kimclarkartistry.com
@couplespopup
Haylee Bell Writer
Tiffany King Photographer A Little Love Joy, PAGE 30 Tiffany is a Houston photographer that specializes in editorial, beauty and creative portraiture.
Dating Yourself PAGE 13 Haylee is an avid storyteller and graduate of Florida A&M University. Haylee is also a contributing editor and host of RoyalTee Magazine’s RoyalTee Talks.
tiffanycouturephotography.com
Vernon S. Davis Photographer A Regal Love PAGE 46 Vernon is a Marylandbased photojournalist and portrait photographer with a strong portfolio of editorial fashion shots.
Aria Reeves Author Dating Yourself PAGE 13 Aria is the author of Healed From Then, Loving Your Now. The Atlanta native is a Florida A&M University graduate and has a passion for helping people. ariareeves.com
vsdavisphotography.com
Winter 2021|7| royalteemagazine.com
Dr. Lawrence Jackson Licensed Therapist Dating Yourself PAGE 13 Dr. Jackson is a couple/family therapist and creator of The Black Male Therapist, LLC. He is also associate professor at the University of Nevada and lives in Las Vegas. theblackmaletherapist.com
Deanna Kenner Writer Guy Friends, Female Friends PAGE 16 Deanna is an Atlanta native and a recent college graduate from Georgia State University. Her favorite is blue as you may tell by her funky hair color and she has a passion for writing and reading.
Zoë Lourey-Christianson Writer A Chi-Town Sweet Tooth PAGE 24 Zoë is a writer and comedian from Minnesota. She is currently lives in Chicago and hopes to use her passion for writing to help educate people and build a better and more equitable world.
Winter 2021|8| royalteemagazine.com
Rianna Genus-Dibiase Writer Situationships vs. Relationships PAGE 12 Rianna currently attends college at Hillsborough Community College in Tampa, FL and majors in mass communication. Her hobbies include filming, writing, acting, beauty, research, and fashion.
Mia Hollie Writer Respect My Bubble PAGE 22 Mia is a recent graduate of Penn State and an aspiring writer. When she is not writing for RoyalTee Magazine, she enjoys listening to music, learning graphic design, and reading.
Mariyah Rajshahiwala Writer/Graphic Designer 10 Questions PAGE 19 Mariyah is a junior at Brooklyn College. In her free time, she loves to travel and explore halal restaurants.
CONTRIBUTIONS FROM BLACKDOCTOR.ORG
While intercourse is a highly tempting thing, there are other ways to express and share intimacy, especially while dating Emotional Intimacy: Learning someone and their mind; falling in love with their personality and listening to their innermost thoughts can create an undeniable closeness. The goal, when we are dating, is learning someone. Simply having conversations about life, things we love/dislike, what makes us happy/sad, the joys and pains of our childhood, can open doors to honesty and build bridges of trust needed for the relationship to advance. Experimental Intimacy: What better way to grow connected to someone than through experiences?
Sure, a nice dinner is great as a first date, but what about an experience? It’s through this form of intimacy, we learn someone’s extent to make us happy. How far will they go to be different or to offer you a different view on the dating experience? This is sexy and it’s romantic. And it’s these things we look for when we date someone. It’s a form of intimacy that’s rarely acknowledged but can make all the difference. Physical Intimacy: This is not to be mistaken for sexual intimacy. The difference is, there’s no sex involved. Physical intimacy is our hugs and kisses and holding hands. Once we learn to like someone good enough through emotional intimacy, we become comfortable enough with them to be physical. CONT’D ON NEXT PAGE
Winter 2021|9| royalteemagazine.com
#OnTheGo Again, this is not sex. This is as small as holding hands. Holding hands can actually be a stress reliever too. It decreases the level of cortisol, which is a stress hormone and releases oxytocin which is the hormone that strengthens empathy and communication. Being comfortable and relaxed around people can open doors of honesty and strengthen communication. Hugs can have these same effects as well. Cuddling and massages are also physical forms of intimacy, just on a different level. It isn’t the same as sex, but there is still that body-to-body connection and experience we all love. Spiritual Intimacy: This would probably have to be my favorite form of intimacy. For a lot of people, being equally-yoked is important. This simply means sharing the same Faith and being a believer in a Higher Power. Through this form of intimacy, you are allowed to share your beliefs and morals in regard to how you perceive life and its obstacles. It’s being able to worship together and pray for each other. And I don’t know about you, but there is something so divinely sexy about a man who isn’t afraid to show affection toward a Higher Power. These intimacies are extremely important forms to navigate through when dating. It covers everything and leaves nothing left to the imagination–And unlike sex, it isn’t a temporary thing. It doesn’t start–and then end. When invested in properly, these can win successfully for your dating experiences. - BY ABRIL GREEN
If you don’t know already, sex is not only good for your physical but your mental health as well! 1.
Not getting enough sleep can increase heart disease, high blood pressure, decreased mental clarity, weakened immune system, mood changes, and weight gain.
2.
Love on the regular has been shown to lower stress-related increases in blood pressure. Sex releases the “love hormone” known as oxytocin and endorphins. Both are considered your body’s feel-good hormones.
3.
: Feeling more connected to your partner allows you to relate to them more and you are more likely to try to see things from their perspective, instead of only thinking about yourself and your feelings.
4.
By having sex regularly, you tend to feel more desired. You also feel cared for and more confident in bed. This leads to good feelings about yourself. When you feel better about yourself and your experiences, your sex drive gets better also. - DR. NICOLE B. WASHINGTON
Winter 2021|10| royalteemagazine.com
Winter 2021|11| royalteemagazine.com
#OnTheGo A situationship can be defined as a partnership between two people in which both individuals do not possess a title such as boyfriend or girlfriend. In some cases, each member in the partnership is not always aware that they are in this situation. A situationship can be made unaware to someone when you do not define what you are to one another early on, or what you are looking for. On the other hand, a relationship is a partnership between two people in which both individuals possess a title such as boyfriend or girlfriend. In most cases both individuals are aware of their partnership. Relationships tend to be more serious and more emotionally invested.
SITUATIONSHIPS VS. RELATIONSHIPS Relationships and situationships have their pros, and their cons. Choosing which one is best for you is just a matter of your own wants and needs... BY RIANNA GENUS-DIBIASE
Both a relationship and a situationship can be beneficial, if you know what you want. But heed some disclaimers! The good thing about a situationship is you get all the fun parts of a relationship minus the emotional obligations, and responsibilities. On the flip side, people catch feelings and end up with a situationship gone sour. This happens when someone catches feelings while the other person is perfectly content with keeping things how they are. A little having your cake and eating it too. It is not to say you cannot be in a situationship, but tread lightly because feelings can and most likely, will be hurt. At the end of the day, the ultimate goal should be a relationship. They’re the more genuine, stable and meaningful bond that you just won’t get from a situationship, seasonal boo thang. When you believe you are ready to fully emotionally available and willing to be someone’s confidant (#NoChildishGames), you will know that a relationship is the right choice for you. In the meantime, #nojudgment.
Winter 2021|12| royalteemagazine.com
Dating Yourself:
A Journey to Self Love and Discovery AS TOLD TO BY HAYLEE BELL
Top: Dr. Lawrence Jackson Bottom: Aria Reeves
Could you date yourself ? A simple question should warrant a simple response. I always knew that I could “date” myself. I’m loving, a great listener, considerate, dependable, and supportive. I would totally date me. However, I found myself looking at this from a different perspective when my BF of four years and I broke up. I strived to be everything I thought he needed and wanted. Once it ended, I realized that in the four years I poured into us, left my cup empty. Now, I have the opportunity to discover myself and be a reflection of real love. Eager to learn, yet clueless, Dr. Lawrence Jackson, LMFT and author of Healed From Then, Loving Your Now, Aria Reeves clarifies what it means to date yourself and heal during the process.
Winter 2021|13| royalteemagazine.com
#OnTheGo
Y’all Broke Up, Now What ? ROYALTEE: What steps would you advise a person take after a breakup? AR: Sit and feel. Sit in a quiet place and
What is
literally just feel every emotion that you feel. Whether that feeling comes out in a scream and you crying. Just get it out. It’s okay not to be okay. You first have to feel the pain, because that’s going to help you move on.
Self-Dating ?
After you feel the pain, reevaluate your plans that you have a place for yourself and make a plan to work towards your life that you want for yourself.
ROYALTEE: How do you define dating yourself ?
After you make a plan for yourself, seek professional counseling and spiritual guidance to help make sure that your feelings are being placed properly. After that you actually do the work. Healing is not something that happens on its own. You have to be intentional about what you look at, what you listen to, what you feed yourself.
LJ: Dating yourself to me is getting to know yourself. I think there's many ways you can do that. So when I think about dating yourself or getting to know yourself or healing through trauma, I think about prioritizing your needs first. Sometimes prioritizing your needs also is recognizing what those needs are right. Then after that awareness piece is present for you. you’re now prioritizing those needs.
“Healing is not something that happens on its own. You have to be intentional about what you look at, what you listen Winter 2021|14| royalteemagazine.com
Taking a Risk on You ROYALTEE: What is something you’ve done differently when it comes to dating you? AR:
I have taken more risks on myself. Take more risk with going after my dream, even if they scare me. I'm so used to playing it safe and having a safety net and having a plan. because I'm very much so of a go by the book kind of person. I’m just doing things that I've always wanted to do and not live in the “what if”.
Growing Past the Comfort Zone ROYALTEE: What can happen when you do? LJ: I think when people who move from their comfort zone and move to a level of discomfort you're getting opportunity to learn more about yourself. Maybe you're physically moving from one place to another or physically doing something outside of your normal. If you're being intentional about these behaviors, you're learning about yourself in that process as well. I'm a firm believer that we grow not in levels of comfort, we grow with discomfort. It allows us to expand our comfort zone and to be tested and in many different ways. Those things are extremely important allowing or creating opportunities for you to heal, while getting to know yourself again.
Winter 2021|15| royalteemagazine.com
#OnTheGo
Guy Female
Lasting Platonic Relationships Between Men and Women BY DEANNA KENNER
ersonally, I have only ever seen true platonic relationships between men and women on the big screen. Beautiful relationships like the ones of Harry and Hermione from J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter or Joan Watson and Sherlock Holmes from the CBS series Elementary. Truly platonic meaning no sexual or romantic tension ever evolving from either party involved. Do these relationships only exist in the world of fiction? Surely it is possible…right? So, the question is: is it possible for men and women to be in a platonic relationship? The short nonmessy answer is yes, of course. That’s not the impossibility. Though for how long? Forever? Funny enough, this this has been an ongoing debate between my boyfriend, Maliq and I since we started dating two years ago. He believes that it is totally possible to have such a lasting relationship with a woman.
I on the other hand believe the idea to be farfetched. Over the course of my 23 years, I have never had a truly platonic male friend. I believe there are many factors as to why this is. One, and not to toot my own horn, I am an attractive woman. It took me years to realize this myself, but I can’t say the same for my male “friends”. (CONT’D on next page)
Is it possible for men and women to be in a platonic relationship?
Winter 2021|16| royalteemagazine.com
ME: Issa No… HIM: Issa Yes… Even when I was 7, my oldest friend from nursery school tried to kiss me one day in the playground. However, this was seven. Not really much credibility. He could have been dared for all I knew. Fast-forward to my teenage years, many of my male friends wanted something more from me due to plumping hormonal changes. A second factor is of course personality. How someone carries and presents themselves can go a long way when it comes to the opposite sex. Again, not tooting my own horn here, but I am a very compassionate, funny, and cunning person. But I am not putting all the blame on just the guys here. I have definitely been the one in the friendship who wanted more. Another factor, perhaps a huge one, is that life is not stagnant. Its ever changing and progressing. Someone who was best fit as your friend in one moment of your life, can transform into something more later. A simple case of right person, wrong time. This was true for one of my relationships where we began as friends. Forever is a long time to not be attracted in some ways and then not acting on that attraction.
I decided to survey my boyfriend on his very real, platonic relationships with his female friends. Here is what he said to say:
What are your experiences in your platonic relationships? MALIQ: The experience I have had with my closest female friends is one of the most valuable relationships I’ve had in my life. We can talk about anything from politics to music; always my first choice for who I want to go to concerts with, great to discuss movies with, etc. She’s a great example of a woman who can provide the same great company as a male friend could. The experiences I have with female friends that differ from male friends is emotional support. Women are naturally more empathetic when it comes to these things so being able to have someone who is both great company and that I feel comfortable expressing my personal problems to has been vital in my life.
Have there ever been any romantic or sexual attraction present in these relationships? MALIQ: There have been times when female friends I
Life is too short and unpredictable to tell people how you really feel! Either it’s a mutual vibe or you stay friend-zoned, but let’s move on…
“I have definitely been the one in the friendship who wanted more.”
keep were either attracted to me or I were attracted to them early on in our friendship. Nothing has ever gone past the initial point of attraction and it’s really up to the maturity of both parties whether or not the friendship last. Once a boundary is set, I’m able to cut off whatever attraction I had and view them as just a friend and vice versa.
What are your overall opinions about platonic relationships? MALIQ: Why is it that because we’re of the opposite sex we have to be something more? (CONT’D on next page)
Winter 2021|17| royalteemagazine.com
#OnTheGo MALIQ: I think a lot of the issues between men and women could be avoided if men were able to truly understand and learn what it is to be friends with a woman. There are things both sides could learn from one another, aside from just being partners or lovers that get lost in the idea that, from most men’s perspectives, women are supposed to do whatever men say and please them in any way that they see fit. That’s what makes women afraid of many men who feel that sense of control and dominance over women. Overall, I think it’s disappointing on either side, male or female if you’re unable to have platonic relationships with the opposite sex. If you’re not able to have genuine friendships without wanting to be involved with the other person sexually or romantically, that’s a red flag, especially as a man. ~
“The experience I have had with my closest female friends is one of the most valuable relationships I’ve had in my life.”
My boyfriend ladies and gentlemen! I must admit, he made some valid points and I do agree with most of what he said. Yes, men and women can have a platonic relationship. If both parties care about the shared friendship, the relationship can be beautiful and last for a very long time. However, for me, I don’t see such friendship happening. Maliq and I started as friends and look where we are now.
Winter 2021|18| royalteemagazine.com
Winter 2021|19| royalteemagazine.com
#OnTheGo
Winter 2021|20| royalteemagazine.com
Winter 2021|21| royalteemagazine.com
#OnTheGo
Why You Should Establish Your Boundaries Before Taking Your Relationship To The Next Level BY MIA HOLLIE
W
hether you are in a committed
marriage, a “situationship,” or embracing the single life, all romantic relationships come with their periods of trial and error. And if one thing is for sure, it is that not completely understanding your partner’s intentions and boundaries in a relationship will lead to more lows than highs.
But what if you already know your partner’s intentions? Well, this is where boundaries come in. Boundaries will help you navigate any relationships that you hold close to your heart. They are crucial in understanding how your partner’s intentions match your own and whether the relationship is a good one.
Winter 2021|22| royalteemagazine.com
Boundaries help people decrease the amount of emotional energy they exert while in a relationship and enable them to maintain a sense of agency while simultaneously being committed to someone else. Not having a clear set of boundaries for both romantic and platonic relationships could have serious consequences. According to Prism Health North Texas, a lack of adequate limits could result in stress, financial burdens, wasted time, and other related issues. Women are also more likely to make their boundaries too lenient, often trading independence for a false sense of interdependence. On the other hand, an intention is, by definition, an idea that you plan to set into motion. So, what does this mean in terms of a relationship? Well, an intention for a relationship could be something as simple as intending to grow with your partner spiritually or intending to support your partner through their various ventures. To sum it up: an intention is a goal, and a boundary is a rule set to achieve that goal. Of course, you could intend to support your partner on their chosen professional path, but if you don’t have clear boundaries separating your life from theirs, you have helped them at what cost?
PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES: Is quality time your love language? Or do you value your personal space? Are you the type of person to share everything, even the food on your plate, or do you prefer to keep things separate?
EMOTIONAL BOUNDARIES: Empathy is almost always a good trait to have, but it sometimes comes at a cost. Ask yourself how much of your partner’s baggage you are willing to make your own. It would also be good to assess how vulnerable you are willing to be with your partner. If you don’t feel comfortable spilling every trouble to your partner, don’t. Conversely, if you want to tell your partner everything, make sure they are willing to absorb all of your baggage as well.
ETHICAL BOUNDARIES: Is your religion a driving force in your life? Do you cherish your ethnic and cultural ties, and see them as something you can’t forego to continue in a relationship? These are essential questions to ask yourself when setting ethical boundaries. Relationships require respect, and a partner that does not respect your social, cultural, and religious background will have you feeling alienated and misunderstood.
Winter 2021|23| royalteemagazine.com
A Chi-Town Sweet Tooth In Chicago, there’s a spot called that is bringing the sweetness to the Windy City . BY ZOË LOUREY-CHRISTIANSON unchiez is a new Black-owned novelty candy store and cereal bar in the Beverly neighborhood (south side) of Chicago. Munchiez is owned and operated by Qiana Allen, 40. Because of Allen’s business savvy and hard work, Munchiez opened this past August in the middle of the pandemic and has found great success. “The biggest challenge we’ve faced is learning how to pivot during this pandemic,” said Allen, who started the business with her kids.
“The biggest challenge we’ve faced is learning how to pivot during this pandemic,” said Allen, who started the business with her kids. “I’ve owned and operated several businesses prior to opening Munchiez but I’d have to say my proudest moment as an entrepreneur has been starting this business journey with my kids. I’ve always wanted to teach them entrepreneurship and we’ve found a way to do just that through things they love which are cereal and candy.” Their motto is “A Place Where Childhood Lasts Forever,” and it’s true. No matter your age, you will truly feel like a kid in a candy store. Munchiez has some exciting plans for the new year! Soon, they will be launching “Munchiez After,” a late night event where adult customers will be able to bring their own alcohol and enjoy the cereal bar. Allen said they also plan to bring back Munchiez birthday parties and more once public health restrictions are lifted. “We look forward to when things are back to normal so that we can introduce more of the original ideas we had prior to the COVID crisis and we can show Chicago how dope Munchiez really is.”
Winter 2021|24| royalteemagazine.com
with
LOVE
Jashley Green, also known as
As a Black woman, we have like ups and , has never had any downs when it comes to our hair, embracing our hair. What has insecurities about her hair. She’s been chopping on it been your journey with hair love? since she was in the seventh grade. Today she makes a living bringing out the in others as I’ve been cutting my hair since the 7th grade. I’ve never the owner of Shear Utopia Unisex Salon in Tampa, FL. been around to cut my hair. I never even looked at my texture like Koko has five salons under her clippers and already ‘oh, it's not good enough.’ has plans for a bigger multi-use space in the near future, that would include a fashion and photo studio. What insecurities have you dealt with that you Unlike many small-business during the pandemic era, Koko has managed to luck up and not be impacted. felt you've overcome? But she’s not taking her blessings lightly. Definitely my skin tone. I have a twin brother and he's RoyalTee Magazine caught up with Koko after hours to chat about navigating business in the pandemic area, way more fair than me. But the highlight of embracing my skin tone overcoming insecurities, newlywed bliss with her wife, was when I was in McDonald's with my friend. And a little girl kept starring at me. Her mom was like ‘I’m so sorry, she [the little girl] and of course- hair! wanted to come up to me.’ And she [the mother] was like she [the little girl] just thinks you're so pretty. And I was like oh my God! That little girl can see that a brown girl with no hair is pretty. So, I said to myself, ‘I'm beautiful no matter what.’ LGBTQ is still like a touchy topic, even in 2021. What advice would you give to someone who is struggling to simply be themselves? Just be who you are. People are always going to have an opinion. People are always gonna have something to say, so you should be able to be comfortable in your own skin, because it's only your life that you're living. Just be okay with who you are. And if people don't understand, it's not for them to accept. What makes you a Royal Woman? What makes me a Royal Woman is that I don't see competition. I always have to be the best at what I do. And if I feel like I'm not, I can do better. kokodabarber.com Winter 2021|25| royalteemagazine.com
@kokodabarber
#RoyalMen
Inspired by Culture, Diversity, and Freedom. The creation of D A N I R H I was ignited by its very urgent need to exist. Every city illustrated in each series has impacted American history in a very significant way. Commonly referred to as A R T, the vision behind every season and collection released emphasizes the valor of new age garments. Winter 2021|26| royalteemagazine.com
Winter 2021|27| royalteemagazine.com
#RoyalMen
By design, all illustrations represent a cause and a meaningful purpose that coincide with modern day society as well as local, global, and nationwide issues that exist today. The C R E A T O R has an open world view of positivity, hope, faith, love, and fashion that he perceives will change the industry on a global scale
Winter 2021|28| royalteemagazine.com
DANIRHI imprints the United States of America as an official fashion evolution and places its vision amongst top designers and collections on a global scale.
@danirhi_clothing https://danirhi.store/
Winter 2021|29| royalteemagazine.com
Ro yaln Woma
e r i p s n I Written & Styled by Alexia McKay Photography by Tiffany Couture Makeup by Kim Clark
S P R E A D
A
L I T T L E
e v Lo y o J
Joy M. Hutton is a Royal woman of many talents. “Last year there was an article that someone wrote about me and they called me a modernday Renaissance woman,” she shares during our Zoom interview. A statement that pretty much encompasses everything this Royal Woman has her hands on. From her consulting business affectionately named Joy of Consulting, to her growing beauty app, On the Go Glam (OTGG) - that’s ironically titled after one of our signature staples - Hutton is truly living up to the mantra, rocking each hat to #BossChick perfection. Joy of Consulting is a well-oiled machine that’s been running for the past five years and the On the Go Glam App is on its way to changing how we find our face beaters, hair slayers and stylists in major cities. While some of us, particularly women, are stressing about being single, no kids, no potential hubby and not having our lives perfectly together at 30 (Don’t complain about your woes to someone 35 and up – to them you’re still a baby.); Hutton, at 38, is unbothered about numbers and societal norms and is enjoying life as it comes at her. As we all should be doing. #DoYou. And be completely unapologetic about it.
This classy, gorgeous Houstonian (by way of Chicago) is truly utilizing every minute in her 24hour schedule, managing to run two successful businesses as an entrepreneur, striving not sinking during a pandemic that crumbled hundreds of Black businesses, plus making moves as Houston’s newest Google coach. And she still had time to spread a little love joy on OWN’s popular reality dating show, “Ready to Love: Last Resort.” Produced by FAMU alum Will Packer, the show gathers 21 young, Black singles in one place in hopes they will find love or at least trigger the flame that will lead them there. Hutton took a quick pause from slaying the game, broke out of her shell, took a leap of faith and joined the cast. Each week, we were treated to a regal treat, watching this melanin beauty capture hearts both on and off screen. Despite dealing with the sudden loss of her younger sister last year, an emotional, transparent moment that was captured during the show, we see this transformative Royal Woman continue to find renewed joy, even in her darkest moments. We cheered from our homes with our wine glasses, hoping this H.R.I.C. (Head Royal Woman In Charge) would finally find her H.R.M. (Head Royal Man). Or kick off the path that will lead her to him. And although she tells us there is a no ring on her finger…yet…her experience on the show has left her hopeful, open, spreading a little love joy and accepting it in return.
“I tell people all the time, one of the things I had committed to myself going into 2020 was that I would be comfortable being uncomfortable.” Winter 2021|31| royalteemagazine.com
#RoyalWomen ROYALTEE: Let’s talk about how you got on
JH: We [the cast] like to call it summer camp,
the show[”Ready to Love”]. What was your initial reaction?
like summer camp for adults. Normally the show is filmed in the city that you are from, so it was supposed to be filmed in Houston.
JH: “When they [the producers] were casting for Houston, people were texting me the flyer, and I was like, ‘I'm not going on a reality show, like absolutely not!’ (laughs) Definitely not a dating show! Then I had three or four casting producers reach out to me, so I was like, fine, maybe I'll entertain a conversation with one of them and see what they're talking about.
ROYALTEE: Did you watch “Ready to Love’’?
But due to the pandemic, we filmed in Georgia, outside of Atlanta at a resort. So, we were all there every day, breakfast, lunch, dinner, seeing these people. It was very interesting. However, I thought that, with us being in that bubble, it makes for connecting with people a little faster than you normally would. We all just kind of bonded on a different level. That probably wouldn't have happened if we were in Houston because you go back to your homes at night.
JH: I hadn't watched the show prior to me being
ROYALTEE: When did you know that you
on it. Once I talked to the casting producers, obviously I was like, let me go watch the show and see what it's about. So, I spoke to one of the casting producers and put my mind at ease about the show.
were ready for love in your life again?
At that point, I’ve been divorced for three years. I was like, okay, ‘not my ideal way of finding someone, but we're in a pandemic, and I'm not dating anybody, so might as well give it a try.’ I had a lot of anxiety leading up to it because you're putting your life in front of everybody, for however long. I had zero expectations because I don't know who these people are. I just kind of went into the show not over thinking, which is something I'm definitely guilty of. And I'm just going to be myself and be open to the process and see what happens.
ROYALTEE: Let’s talk about your journey on the show, filming during a pandemic. What was that like?
JH: Even when I first divorced, I wasn't ready to give up on love because I knew that I gave my marriage my all and I wasn't going to shut myself out of any future opportunities. However, I also knew not to jump into something else right away because you have to give yourself time to heal. And that's from any relationship – whether it's a long-term relationship or marriage, you have to give yourself time to heal and go through a period of reflection. I did date post-divorce, but when I was dating, I also took a break because I realized that I wasn't ready to be dating and to take anybody seriously. By the time “Ready to Love” came around, I was like, OK, I'm ready. I know what I want. I've done the work in terms of therapy, and really taking the time for myself.
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“At that point, I’ve been divorced for three years. I was like, okay, ‘not my ideal way of finding someone, but we're in a pandemic, and I'm not dating anybody, so might as well give it a try.”
Outfit: Red All Out High Low Tulle Maxi Dress; Olive Branch Rhinestone earrings by Shop Akira. Shoes: Feather All Over Heels by Tilted Sole. Location: Dreamlite Productions Studios; Houston, TX Set Design: KCA Designs
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“I have this whole thing about finding Joy, getting that person I was before back. Because some people are empaths, they're givers they just go all in. Most women are like that. We put everybody's needs before ours. But I had to realize that I had to take time for myself and set boundaries.”
#RoyalWomen
“You have to define your own happiness at each stage of your life. You cannot let your happiness be defined by society. With that being said, I don't put pressure on myself that I'm a 38year-old divorcee with no kids. Because when the timing is right, I will have the man divinely ordained for me.”
#RoyalWomen ROYALTEE: What has your experience been like in the self-love department?
JH: Self-love is the number one. One of the things I say about my marriage is that I lost myself. I lost Joy. I have this whole thing about finding Joy, getting that person I was before back. Because some people are empaths, they're givers they just go all in. Most women are like that. We put everybody's needs before ours. But I had to realize that I had to take time for myself and set boundaries. I had to learn how to step back and take time for joy. I think when you go through a relationship that has ended, there's still some healing you have to do, even if it didn't end in a bad way. But you really have to take the steps to get back to where you were before. And so, whether that is, you know, boosting your self-esteem again, lack of self-confidence, fear, all those things. I went through so many different emotions and phases that I had to get myself back together. I was like, OK, you know, enough rolling on the floor and crying. It’s time to get back to joy and take care of Joy.
ROYALTEE: What kind of qualities are important to you in a relationship?
JH: First, someone who loves Jesus. That's important. He has to love God. Someone that is family oriented, someone that is rooted in having deep respect for women and loves their family. Someone who loves the women in their family, someone who is committed to doing the work on themselves. No one is 100% whole, no one is 100% healed, but committed to doing the work to get to a healthy place. (CONT’D)
Outfit: Make A Little Love Button Shirt Dress by Shop Akira.
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JH: Someone that can make me laugh.
JH: Because when the timing is right, I will
Someone that is cultured because I can't have conversations with people who ain't been nowhere. (laughs) Someone educated. I like to have intellectual conversations with people so that's important.
have the man divinely ordained for me. So, I think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves and we should not do that. I just think we have to love ourselves first. And when you love yourself first that person will come.
Someone that's compassionate. Somebody that has their own life because if you don't have any friends, then you're gonna be all up in my business (laughs). But probably the biggest thing is someone who's a person of integrity.
What makes you a Royal Woman?
ROYALTEE: What advice would you give to that person who is struggling in their singleness?
JH: You have to define your own happiness
“What makes me a Royal Woman is that I don't allow anyone to place limitations on my life. I do things pretty much on my own terms and do not let anyone put me in a box, as I don't think any woman should. And so, for me, it is unapologetically going after whatever it is that I want.”
at each stage of your life. You cannot let your happiness be defined by society. With that being said, I don't put pressure on myself that I'm a 38-year-old divorcee with no kids. @joyofconsulting @otgglam @startupsistas (CONT’D) Winter 2021|39| royalteemagazine.com
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TAMPA, FL. SAID ‘I DO’: Aug 26, 2020 PUT A RING ON IT: Feb. 14, 2021
Photography by Kristina Maness
WE MET: Through a mutual friend via Instagram followed by copious, purposeful phone conversations. We connected - mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. When we finally met in person (after a delayed period of time because of COVID), our love story was sealed. HE POPPED THE QUESTION AT: The Sandpearl Resort [Clearwater Beach, FL on Alicia’s birthday]…It was nice, romantic and COVID proof.
THE GREATEST CHALLENGE was finding a nice venue available and that allows us the discretion to plan our wedding in a way to implement our own COVID precautions and to plan the wedding without fear of cancellation.
AS EVIDENCED IN OUR LOVE STORY of meeting and falling in love during the COVID pandemic, the primary deciding factor is love prevails over COVID…Our COVID love story is incomplete without the COVID wedding as a testament of our love not withstanding crisis.
WE HAVE SPENT MORE QUALITY TIME TOGETHER and have built stronger communication without activity distractions because of COVID restrictions. I would further say, ironically, COVID positioned us both to meet at a perfect time. Winter 2021|41| royalteemagazine.com
#RoyalWomen #RoyalMen
ATLANTA, GA. GOT A RING ON IT: April 4, 2020
WE ACTUALLY MET twice and didn’t know it! The first time we met, Bakari was delivering furniture I ordered from his job. I thought he was so cute and a working man! I gave him the “female signal” to let him know it was okay to talk to me, but he did not take the hint (lol). Ironically, his co-worker took the hint for himself and tried to talk to me. Don’t you hate when that happens? I politely declined and he told Bakari what the deal was. He finally approached me, we exchanged numbers, and I invited him to a huge party my brother was hosting that evening. Bakari didn’t showed up. I deleted his number after he told me he was busy and couldn’t make multiple meetups. Later, I found out he was busy because he was on tour with his band every weekend. Flash forward two years later on a Sunday, we met again at Boston Market. I didn’t know where I knew him from. I just thought he was cute. This time, he made the biggest effort to talk to me while I was simply minding my own business. We still didn’t know who each other were. In hindsight, Bakari told me that when he looked up and saw me, he softly whispered to God, “If she’s the one, give her to me.” He was working, so he took a risk…I called him two weeks later and the rest is history in the making. From a stranger to the love of my life.
Photography by Marcus Duval
WE’D ALREADY POSTPONED OUR WEDDING TWICE… based on the increasingly strict guidelines, number of guests allowed, canceling of vendors and so much more. It was three weeks before our wedding when we postponed it the first time. We’d already planned our entire event then to be forced to cancel for the safety of ourselves and our guests, it was devastating. We decided our love can’t wait, so we tied the knot without all of the hype. We said “I DO” in front of 10 or less close family and friends at our church headquarters. There were 1 or 2 people seated per row, us, and our Pastor. It. Was. Magical. In that instance, our priorities shifted. All of the things we planned and paid for were no longer a priority. Our love was/is. where it all started.
A DREAM WEDDING? Honestly speaking, as far as the venue, decor, and everything we hoped for, no. But as far as the joining of hands in holy matrimony to the love of our life, yes! No venue, flowers, extra guests, or food can top that.
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TALLAHASSEE, FL. GOT A RING ON IT: July 24, 2020
WE MET on Snapchat! (Millennials, right? lol) We had a mutual friend on the app who introduced us. At first I wasn’t giving James the time of day because I was so focused on myself and school and I didn’t want to be bothered with yet another failed fling. But I’m glad he persevered and kept sliding in my DMs!
OUR ORIGINAL WEDDING date was slated for November 7, 2020. But the pandemic was getting worse and a lot of the venues and vendors we wanted were closed and didn’t know when they would reopen. Then it hit us – we could save so much money by just having a private wedding ceremony with immediate family. And who doesn’t love to save a coin? Once we came to that realization it was no turning back.
Photography by Vernon Barber, Studio V Media
WE HELD A CLOSED PRIVATE WEDDING CEREMONY with just our parents and siblings and had a virtual wedding reception via Zoom so all of our other family and friends could celebrate with us. My godmother decorated the living room in her house like a reception venue and we celebrated “Mr. & Mrs. Thomas: Pandemic Edition”.
WITH US BEING YOUNG, we had some IT WAS DEFINITELY DIFFERENT than what we imagined our wedding to be, but it was everything we needed nonetheless. We had our loving parents and siblings with us, and other relatives and friends joined via zoom so we still felt the love all around.
murmurs here and there from outsiders about whether or not we were truly ready to get married. And we knew they would come, but when negativity is constantly in your ear it can get a bit overbearing. But we had the approval and blessings from our parents, and we stood firmly on the foundation we had created, and we knew what we wanted.
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#RoyalWomen #RoyalMen
TALLAHASSEE, FL. SAID ‘I DO’: Oct. 17, 2020 PUTTING A RING ON IT: Oct. 30, 2021 Photography by Drehow Photography
CAMBRIDGE CAME INTO MY LIFE AT A TIME WHEN I THOUGHT I DIDN’T NEED ANYONE. He is hilarious, always keeps a smile on my face and that is just what I needed at that moment. My first reaction, “This will be a cool friend.” Never would I have imagined where we would be today.
I MADE THE DECISION TO PROPOSE ON HER BIRTHDAY because I wanted Allysan to have something amazing to remember that day by. I chose one of her favorite restaurants and I invited a few of her close friends and family to share that moment with us. She always told me that she didn’t want a huge crowd whenever that day came, so finding a creative way to distance ourselves wasn’t really an issue. The restaurant allowed us to reserve the back half of the building so that we could properly spread everyone out.
THIS SEASON OF LOVE FOR ME IS DEFINITELY GOD ORDAINED. I never thought that I would be in a place where I would be planning a wedding. Three years ago, I was comfortable being single and focused on MY future. Then came Cambridge. He has been a complete joy to be with. Some days I wake up, struggling to get myself together and he will send a sweet text or an encouraging word that gives me the push that I needed. I opened my heart and my life to this man and I am READY for what’s to come!
I FEEL THAT I’VE NEVER BEEN MORE PREPARED FOR ANYTHING. I’M EXCITED TO DO THIS THING CALLED LIFE WITH ALLYSAN. Growing deeper in my relationship with God has allowed me to grow deeper in my relationship with her. I’ve made personal changes to ensure that I am the man that she needs and more importantly, deserves. I’ve learned so much over the past year and I am excited to her husband.
The interviews has been edited and condensed for clarity and length.
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New episodes Wednesdays at 10|9c.
THE
Evolving OF MARK & BRITTNEY MCKINNON
One label the McKinnons are not really fond of is the ‘power couple’ one. That’s not really what their relationship is about...
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#RoyalWomen #RoyalMen
ROYALTEE: Let’s talk about quarantine life. How
BM: I have never dated an actor before…But over
has life been at home?
time, I saw his heart and God showed me like ‘Hey, this man is going be your husband. It’s bigger than what he's doing on camera, it’s bigger than what he is doing in these films. He’s bringing Me [referring to God] through everything that he touches.’
MM: For us, it actually has been really good. The first month, of course, was a big shocker to both our businesses. But what I'm proud of is that we both grew up throughout it because we were forced to be together and everything was shut down. So, it was really good to be in a position to learn more about each other because you think you know everything about a person until you’re literally with them 24/7. With the busy lives me and Brittney had, it was really hard to spend that time together. I feel like we managed to grow a lot in our personal lives and in business.
People are going to be able to see Christ in his performance. I would never sit up here and say, ‘Oh, it's completely easy being the wife of an actor.’ And that's not true. But knowing that he's doing this out of passion allowed me to be even more supportive of his entire career.
ROYALTEE: Did you manifest the person that BM:
Honestly, the biggest thing I got out of it was learning more about each other as a leader. It will be some things that he [ Mark] might say on his team calls and I'm like, ‘Oh, that's really good. Let me implement that in my business.’ And it will be some things on my calls that he will implement too. So, it allowed us to, like, create a synergy within our marriage that we honestly didn't discover before.
ROYALTEE: Some couples can make entrepreneurship work in their relationships and others can’t. How important was it for either one of you to find someone who supported your entrepreneurial endeavors?
MM: It means the world! Fortunately for us, we were already in our fields. I was an actor. I was already running my acting studio. Brittney was already doing marketing. We had to accept who we were. It wasn't always perfect. Over time, we continued to communicate, continued to have those open conversations, what made us feel uncomfortable, what made us feel comfortable. And I feel like that's why our relationship is so strong because the level of trust that we have. But number two, we came in knowing like, ‘this is what this person does so I know how to support it, or what more I can do to help that person in their field.
you ultimately wanted to be with?
BM: Yes and no because we were neither’s type at all. Mark was not attracted to brown-skinned women. I was only attracted to like drug dealers and thugs. I had a little crazy past (laughs). But I remember one time writing in my journal, right before I met him [Mark], and I was like, ‘God, I'm just tired of doing the same thing. I’m tired of talking to the same men that are no good for me; please bring me a friend.’ That’s all I asked for was a friend. And that's how we actually started. I just asked God to bring me a friend. And somebody who kind of knew that I had a past, but someone who's not going judge me from this past and is going to love me through it. And, literally, Mark became that person.
MM: For me, I saw Brittney's heart. After the friendship, once we got a chance to grow and know each other, that’s when God started showing me more things about her, when He was like, ‘Yo, that’s your wife.’ I know a lot of times in the dating world now, as soon as you meet the person, it's like, okay, I want to know, right away, do you have all these things? But sometimes it takes time to know who a person is or sometimes your perspective changes after you became friends for a while.
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“We had to accept who we were. It wasn't always perfect.”
#RoyalWomen #RoyalMen
ROYALTEE: Would you call yourselves a power couple?
MM: Every time someone says that it’s hard to say thank you. We’re grateful, but we are who we are. We don't let that get to our head. We don't try to do anything to try to make us look like a power couple. I think we're just two individuals who are great at what we both do. And it just so happens that we are together. So, it may come off as a power couple, but we don’t walk around with that on our shoulder at all.
ROYALTEE: How would you describe your relationship now; from where it started to where it is now?
BM: I would definitely say the love has grown. And I would say it has grown more intentionally. I think when we first started, we were just getting to know each other. It's like, ‘Oh, I'm in love. I like this person, he looks nice. And we're gonna get married.’ But as you grow, to see a person's heart, grow to see they can handle responsibilities, that's what women really are attracted to. And so, every single day, we're learning more about each other, we're being more in love, and we're being more intentional about loving each other. So that means at eight o'clock, nine o'clock, whenever we're done with our day, phones need to be down, and we need to ask each other about our day. We need to really be invested in one another as opposed to when we were in our early 20's, just dating and trying to figure it out. But now as we're older, we're more intentional about our love. Like we want to make sure we spend time with one another, we want to make sure we do date nights every single week. Because as you get older, and as you get super busy, you sometimes forget about those moments, and I want to make sure that we always incorporate that in our marriage and our love as we continue to grow.
MM: One thing I'm very grateful for is that we actually spent time in the beginning of our relationship before we were officially together just being friends. We all know that relationships aren't perfect. You will have that moment where you do not like the person. But that friendship is what carries us through. So, I think that's the biggest difference between where we were in the beginning. Even though we're married, our friendship has grown the most because your friendship gets tested. Whether it's your girlfriend, your boyfriend, whoever, your friendship gets tested over time. So, to be able to be in this relationship, even when we're not happy with each other, we're able to continue to be friends. And that's what keeps us getting through our arguments or getting through our moments. We never go to bed upset or angry. We always make sure we find some type of resolution. If somebody is upset, give them permission to be upset for a moment, but you cannot let that carry over into the next day.
“We don't try to do anything to try to make us look like a power couple. I think we're just two individuals who are great at what we both do. And it just so happens that we are together. So, it may come off as a power couple, but we don’t walk around with that on our shoulder at all.”
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“I just asked God to bring me a friend. And somebody who kind of knew that I had a past, but someone who's not going judge me from this past and is going to love me through it.”
“After the friendship, once we got a chance to grow and know each other, that’s when God started showing me more things about her, when He was like, ‘Yo, that’s your wife.” Winter 2021|51| royalteemagazine.com
“I feel like we managed to grow a lot in our personal lives and in business.” ROYALTEE: What are your couple goals for 2021?
Follow Mark McKinnon: @themarkmckinnon @mckinnonactingstudio
MM: We [Brittney and I] did our vision board and we're really looking to coming together. Instead of having our two separate places [ my studio; Brittney with her office], why not come together to make a creative art studio with both of us that can benefit the community? Benefit people in the arts, but also in business? That's one of our goals for 2021.
Follow Brittney McKinnon: @thebrittneymckinnon @b.cartersolutions
BM: On the personal side, starting a family. I think it's time to get about starting a family. That's going to really be a main priority for 2021. And then also owning some properties and adding some more investments to our portfolio so we can leave to our children. As for me, I love traveling, I want to travel, so I'm going to throw that in there. (laughs) Winter 2021|52| royalteemagazine.com
Royal Woman
“What makes me a is that I really focus on better serving other people. I care about what's going on around me. I care about people; I care about making an impact and making a difference in the world. That is what makes you a Royal person.”
Royal Man
“What makes me a is being a man of purpose because your purpose is all about how you're helping someone else. That's just my heart. That's how I was raised. But also making sure that I’m staying true to myself, I think that's what makes me Royal as well. You have to be your true, authentic self. No matter what's going on in life, no matter what life throws at you. You’ve got to stay yourself and be transparent. The more I tapped into that, the more I became bigger in my purpose.”
Winter 2021|53| royalteemagazine.com
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