Woodpecker
Written by Ramses Duke
& Illustrated by Rosalie Begalla
Ran into Woodpecker this morning...
It was 9am and he was already bashing his head against a tree. Woodpecker is one of them city slickin’ yuppies that spends entire paychecks on wing tipped shoes and pleated slacks that are short enough to show some fashionable ankle. His coat aint too bad either.
“Hey wassup Woodpecker?” “Oh suhp dude? Man sorry for having to see me without gel in my hair…”
It’s okay Woodpecker.
“How was fashion Week?” “It was ookay...I definitely think my outfits could’ve been a bit better….never got that Street Style feature and I’m not gonna lie, I’m pretty salty about it.”
Turns out Fashion Week had just passed and he didn’t get a feature on Animal Street Style. “Most of the pigeons and rats got features this year because everyone’s into the whole grunge thing....” I couldn’t agree more. “The falcons get chosen like every year….a lot of them know somebody from high up...”
Obviously. I told him, “Next year.”
“I’m flying down south this year...I’m more edgy down there.” I say, “Be careful...they don’t like black and white spotted woodpeckers down South.” “I knowwww!!”, he chirps back at me. Itʼs his dream to go to Vancouver. “I wanna go to Vancouver Fashion Week and meet some Puffins.” Adds that Eagles are entitled pricks. “When you get to Vancouver, try some of the tree. You’d love Canadian tree!” … Tells me nothing is better than California trees. “A Sequoia got me really high one time, when I came down, met this Quail with some really nice bangs.” Of course…
“What’s next for you?”, Woodpecker asked. “I don’t know...maybe tell people I met a Woodpecker.”
“You got a twitter?” “Yeah I do.” “My cousin is the face of Twitter, I can see if he can get you certified.” “Woodpecker that’d be awesome, thanks man.” “No probs...make sure you send me your Twitter handle...” I can just tell you. “No no man, I’m going to forget it, just send it to me.”
And with that, he flew away. #GoneWithTheWind