/1982_0605_A

The Newspaper of Imperial College Union

Founded in 1949

RECTOR BACKS POLISH MISSION The Rector, Lord Flowers, has agreed to give College backmfi to a charitable venture to send food and medical supplies to Poland.

False start to elections I C U H O N O R A R Y S E C R E T A R Y M a r c o L e d w o l d hat mad e his first mistake' i n the s a b h a l i o a l election r u n - u p .

A s a n n o u n c e d in F E L I X a n d i n c l u d e d o n this term's c a l e n d a r , papers for tin- s a b b a t i c a l posts o f P r e s i d e n t . Deputy P r e s i d e n t , H o n o r . i n Secretary a n d F E L I X E d i t o r , were o r i g i n a l l y intended to go up yesterday.

H o w e v e r , M r L c d w o l d discovered o n Thursday m o r n i n g that, a c c o r d i n g to d i e bye-laws, he was not r e q u i r e d l o put papers u p u n t i l 15 C o l l e g e days belore the elections. H e n c e papers w i l l be put u p o n M o n d a y . F e b r u a r y 15. instead.

H e e x p l a i n e d his mistake by s a v i n g that the F E L I X E d i t o r h a d pestered h i m l o r dales at the b e g i n n i n g o f this t e r m l o r the F E L I X Calendar a n d that he h a d mistakenly rushed. Instead o f c o u n t i n g 15 days before the elections, lie c o u n t e d from the H u s t i n g s U G M .

Elections for the l o u r s a b b a t i c a l positions w i l l be by c a m p u s wide ballot in a l l departments on M o n d a y . M a r c h 8 a n d T u e s d a y , M a r c h 9.

Mr

A g r o u p c a l l e d Supplies to P o l a n d ( S T P ) was formed at I C follow i n g M r C o l i n C o o p e r ' s letter i n F E L I X G03 a p p e a l i n g for help. The S i ! g r o u p has been m e e t i n g r e g u l a r l y over the past t w o weeks a n d wilt have a large m e e t i n g today at 12:45pm i n the U n i o n D i n i n g H a l l .

Their i n t e n t i o n is to collect v i t a l supplies for P o l a n d a n d transport th e m v i a sea a n d r o a d over the Easter v a c a t i o n . The g r o u p has a l r e a d y g a i n e d s u p p o r t f r o m o r g a n i s a t i o n s i n t h e B r i t i s h Isles a n d a r c p a r t i c u l a r l y pleased that the C o l l e g e is a l l o w i n g th em facilities lor a t e m p o r a r y base.

The R e c t o r stressed that the C o l l e g e gave its support o n l y if it was clear that this w o u l d be a totally c h a r i t a b l e a n d n o n - p o l i t i c a l venltire.

H e stressed that the g r o u p w o u l d have l o " k e e p their noses clean the C o l l e g e eotild obviously not support a p o l i l i c i a l stance.

Three routes to P o l a n d have been considered a n d are ciirieiilc being rusted. A n a n n o u n c e m e n t w i l l be mad e about the v i a b i l i t y of the project o n F e b r u a r y 20.

O n e o f the m o v i n g forces b e h i n d S ' T P , M r N i c h o l a s G a r d n i g r a d u a t e d from C h e m i c a l E n g i n e e r i n g i n 1900) m a d e a n a p p e a l further help. The g r o u p need m o r e people to act as both crew support. Secretaries w o u l d be helpful d u r i n g the preparations a n was felt that a n y s m a l l a m o u n l o f assistance w o u l d be welcome

Mr

Passmore

Foreshau

Irish stew in the name of the law Former ICU President Mr John Passmore and C&GU Vice President Mr David Foreshow appeared at Mary^ilebone Magistrates Court on Tuesday charged with causing criminal damage.

It was alleged that o n M o n d a y J a n u a r y 18 a t l 2 : 0 G p m , M r Passmore a n d M r Foreshavv h a d w ilfu lly torn a n U n d e r g r o u n d map from the wall on the "No. 6 0 5

p l a t f o r m o f B a k e r St. L o n d o n 'Transport S t a t i o n .

Both pleaded guilty. M r Passmore c o m m e n t e d that he d i d not think that this was t y p i c a l b e h a v i o u r a n d later confided that he a n d M r F o r e s h a w h a d possibly h a d " o n e o r t w o over the o d d s " in a reference to their slate of i n e b r i a t i o n .

Magistrate S i r Ivor R i g b y p r e s i d i n g , l i n e d b o t h defendants ÂŁ\0 a n d ordered th em to pay ÂŁ5 costs.

Friday February 12,1982

Free!

Y o u c on tin u ed y o u r tirade w i t h a n analysis of my p o l i t i cal opinions, describing me as a wet T o r y , about the only remotely accurate part of the e d i t o r i a l . 1 do not. however, believe that a p o l i t i c a l l y moderate stance, like the one I r e c e n t l y t o o k at I ' l l ' a t t a c k i n g the P C L " r i o t in the streets" b r a n d of occupation (something of general student interest you failed to report at any time d u r i n g the weeks the occupation lasted) necessarily implies that as I C l " President I w o u l d have been a doormat for the R e c t o r to walk a l l over. 1 p a r t i e u l a r h resent the unsubstantiated allegation t h a t I w o u l d u n d e r any circumstances sell I C students d o w n the river, and I w o u l d be pleased i f you w o u l d cite Sir Your c.onimeiiis about me e x a m p l e s o f m y s u p p o s e d insincerity. i n last week's F E L I X e d i t o r i a l T h e point about your must set some sort o f record low for this newspaper; i n failure to report the P C L riots terms not only of accuracy, I mentioned above m a y also responsibility, a n d fairness, have some bearing on your but also t h e abuse o f t h e production of a F E L I X wilh supposedly unbiased position two thirds of its front page the editor of a students (or devoted to a non-news story.

In a week w h e n K i n g s derided any other) newspaper should to stay out o f the N U S , when occupy, 'The assertion that 1 a m to the papers for student posts on stand as a candidate for I C U the U n i v e r s i ty Senate went President is clearly in error, as up, a n d w h e n the U L Subject your v a u n t e d " n e w s " report- A r e a R e v i e w C o m m i t t e e s ers w o u l d h a v e d i s c o v e r e d (very important for the future h a d t h e y e x p l o r e d f u r t h e r of the U n i v e r s i t y as a whole) afield from the F E L I X Office reported, I believe your J a m e s than the U n i o n B a r o r the D e e n y article was an insult to B o t / Z o o C o m m o n R o o m , the intelligence of students at had they found time off front I C . S a d l y t h o u g h , s u c h w a t c h i n g free film previews i n i n s u l a r i t y is t y p i c a l o f t he the West E n d , or from w r i t i n g xenophobic hatred of anyfatuous s w i m m i n g articles. I n t h i n g outside this bit of S W 7 fact, a t r i p only as far as the w h i c h characterises so many G u i l d s U n i o n Oft ice to consult F E L I X Editors. Indeed it is w i t h S u e H a r t l e y or F r a n k probably my continued interR o w s c l l w o u l d have c o n f i r m - est i n U L U a n d consideration ed that I have n o intention of o f a p o s s i b l e s a b b a t i c a l cont esting the j o b of I C U Pres- election c a m p a i g n there, o n ident. S u r e l y too, i f you had issues y o u p r o b a b l y w o n ' t bothered to personally arrive have heard of, let alone care on time at I C 1J U G M s , or a b o u t o r u n d e r s t a n d t h a t attend I C U C o u n c i l , y o u caused y o u to w r i t e the w o u l d have observed that I editorial y o u d i d .

f a i l u r e , like that o f y o u r mentor a n d immediate predecessor, to print constructive criticism o l ' l ' n i o n a n d College officials' actions, as opposed to easv " k n o c k i n g c o p y " gives the lie to that too.

Chris IIV/;/)

cannot thanks to your editorial) now stand for I he post o f I C l I President, 1 a m able to go o n record as saying, w i t h due respect to other potential candidates, that 1 think C h r i s w o u l d have been the best m a n for the job.

Dear Mr

C h r i s is an excellent orator and has w o i ked h a r d for students (at I C and elsewhere) in the past. Sincerity is a w o r d I would use in describing h i m .

T o slate C h r i s is p o l i t i c a l and ambitious is hardly to insult h i m . H i s politics do not agree w i t h mine, but I know C h r i s has a genuine concern f o r I he way any government's policies affect students—an awareness many students here w o u l d be advised to develop.

Smith

I wish l o c o n d e m n i n no uncertain terms your editorial regarding M r C h r i s W e b b . It is o n e o f t h e most v i c i o u s personal attacks that I h a v e read on anybody in F E L I X in recent \ ears (and that includes those made o n C a p t L i n d l e y ) .

M r W e b b , w ho proposed me a couple of years ago for H o n Sec. is one of flie most able politicians i n this College and due to this he has over the years h a d sufficiently a p l u r a l i s t i c a t t i t u d e to t a k e part i n affairs beyond the walls of this College.

T h e r e is n o t h i n g w r o n g i n being a wet tory and as one of our former P r i m e M i n i s t e r s ( E d w a r d Heath) has pointed out there is every possibility o f wet lories a n d social democrats w o r k i n g together.

I therefore t h i n k that y o u should publish a full retraction of y o u r totally u n w a r r a n t e d attack o n M r W e b b .

Tours

F r a n k James PS: I a s s u m e t h a t a l l t h e p u b l i c i t y rules for this c o m i n g election have been torn up (not only by yourself 1 might add).

Sir

I a m w r i t i n g to c o n d e m n your attack o n C h r i s W e b b in y o u r e d i t o r i a l last week.

Attacks on myself are fair as 1 a m e l e c t e d to a " p u b l i c " position a n d should expect public, criticism. Y o u r criticisms of me this year have been a little uninspired, but more of that in later weeks. A t t a c k s on my predecessor, John Passmore, are irrelevant to a significant section of your readership, but again expected as he has held the have proposed only one In c o n c l u s i o n , as E d i t o r senior post i n I C U . (Incidenmotion at C o u n c i l (censuring you have a responsibley to tally, J o h n ' s apparent laziness Barney) a n d have not spoken earn your sabbatical salary by may be attributable to the to a m o t i o n at a U G M , nor p u b l i s h i n g a paper c o n t a i n i n g way your predecessor wrecked indeed have I been a p a r t i - news, informed comment and his m o t i v a t i o n ) . H o w e v e r , c u l a r l y f r e q u e n t c o r r e s - objective reporting, very little attacks on a potential presip o n d e n t i n these c o l u m n s . of w h i c h was contained in last dential candidate are c o m S o m e b o d y f r a n t i c a l l y elec- week's F E L I X . Y o u also pletely out of order and could tioneering w o u l d , I believe, p r e s u m a b l y b e l i e v e y o u r cause irreparable damage to a have been more zealous i n position gives you a good, in p u b l i c i s i n g his name, face and depth, knowledge of at least ' c a m p a i g n .

A s C h r i s w i l l not (actually opinions than I have this year. I his s t u d e n t s ' u n i o n : y o u r Page 2

FELIX, February

12, 1982

I suspect v o u wrote your editorial in the belief that C h r i s w o u l d not stand for ICl* President. I would question the reliability of your source of i n f o r m a t i o n in f o r m i n g that belief a m i ask you i f you h a d contemplated the possibility C h r i s might change his m i n d over the next few w e e k s . W h i l s t a p p r e ciating your desire for a lively and informed election c a m p a i g n , I believe y o u c o u l d have prevented a n excellent candidate from r u n n i n g for President.

II is possible C h r i s W e b b m a y d e c i d e to r u n for a University of L o n d o n sabbatical post. If he does, I hope man y I C students will offer s u p p o r t to a s i n c e re a n d articulate candidate.

Tours

faithfully

Nick Morton President, I C U Dear Sir

1 was dismayed on F r i d a y m o r n i n g to read i n F E L I X that m y colleague a n d fellow degenerate, M r James Deeny, had supposedly embarked u p o n a keep-fit c a m p a i g n .

C o u l d this be, 1 wondered, the same James Deeny I had seen that very m o r n i n g at Gloucester R o a d w a n d e r i n g h a p h a z a r d l y towards the tail end of a 9:30 lecture amidst a miasma of foul, cancerous fumes being emitted from a cigarette clenched between his d e c a y i n g t e e t h , a n d nursing the b r a i n - n u m b i n g results of t h e pre v ious evening's alcoholic excesses?

Tours

sincerely

Decrepit of H a m m e r s m i t h

MS

enial T H E A W F U L L Y E M B A R R A S S I N G refectory Hat in the U n i o n B u i l d i n g is still e m p t y , despite recent assurances from M r J o h n S m i t h .

C o l l e g e Secretary, that it w o u l d soon he h a n d e d oyer lor student occupation.

M r S m i t h said this week that the use of the Hat is still u n d e r review a n d m e n t i o n e d the possibility of c o n v e r s i o n i n t o showers.

H o w e v e r , U n i o n President M r N i c k M o r t o n seemed to think that both Hats in the U n i o n B u i l d i n g w i l l e v e n t u a l l y be used as student a c c o m m o d a t i o n . The second Hat is al present o c c u p i e d by someone from the C o l l e g e bookings office.

More

bloody

ouse great holes board!

in the

skirting

I M P E R I A L C O L L E G E p l a y e d host to a f i l m c r e w f r o m t h e D e p a r t m e n t of I n d u s t r y ' s Information Technology '82 last T u e s d a y . The event was a display of m a z e - s o l v i n g by live m i c r o , m i c e a n d was .filmed lo be s h o w n on the fourth c h a n n e l .

I C M i c r o C l u b b o o k e d the U n i o n D i n i n g H a l l l o r the event a n d also s u p p l i e d the ten loot square m a z e w h i c h it h a d f r o m a s i m i l a r event last v ear.

M r M i c h a e l A r t h u r o f the S t u d e n t S e r v i c e s O f f i c e s a i d that a l t h o u g h he h a d not been officially i n f o r m e d , he a n t i c i p a t e d that the Hats w o u l d be h a n d e d over lo his c o n t r o l in (he near future. The possibility of a c c o m m o d a t i n g m a r r i e d couples was m e n t i o n e d .

New

look for

Student Services THE STUDENT SERVICES O F F I C E at 15 Princes G a r d e n s has u n d e r g o n e e x t e n s i v e r e o r g a n i s a t i o n this week. P r e v i o u s l y the stall o l four h a d a l l w o r k e d o n the g r o u n d l l o o r l e a v i n g very little m o m l o r students w h o went to the office.

N o w the t y p i n g duties a n d the a d m i n i s t r a t i o n of bills have been m o v e d upstairs l e a v i n g Iwo S t u d e n t S e r v i c e s O f f i c e r s to r e m a i n in the present offices lo deal w i t h any student problems.

Il is hoped lo have extensive lists o l a n y H a l s a n d b e d s i t s a v a i l a b l e on noticeboards. W h e n the existing p a r t i t i o n is r e m o v e d there w i l l be plenty ol r o o m tor b o t h s t u d e n t s l o o k i n g at I he n o t i c e b o a r d a n d other people w h o need to use the office.

Goodbye Sue M R S S U E K A L I C I N S K I , who was a s u b - w a r d e n of L i n s t e a d H a l l u n t i l one year ago, recently left for t h e i s l a n d o f T u v a l u ' f o r m e r l y one of the Colbert a n d E l l i e e Islands) in the P a c i f i c O c e a n . Sue. a n d her h u s b a n d Geoff, w i l l spend two years as volunteers t e a c h i n g E n g l i s h a n d m a t h e m a t i c s to s o m e o l t h e island's 700 i n h a b i t a n t s .

Before m o v i n g to L i n s t e a d , Sue was the w a r d e n ol S o u t h w e l l H o u s e . E v e l y n G a r d e n s , a n d was also the U n i o n W e l f a r e O f f i c e r in her student days here.

>A mouse, looking suspiciously The

like a ZX80 with a furry doll on top.

stars of the p e r f o r m a n c e were S t e r l i n g M o u s e a n d T h u m p e r

who spoke w i t h an A m e r i c a n accent a n d h a d previously d e m o l i s h e d a n I C l w n v n e c l maze.

>

T h e M i c r o C l u b hope to have one of the mouse builders as a guest speaker soon. %

OLD CENTRALIANS

Sue w i l l be especially r e m e m bered for her collee evenings in E v e l y n G a r d e n s a n d her New Y e a r ' s E v e parlies.

Cock up of the we J.P. Sowden FBIM

BSc(Eng) F C G I

FI Struct E

C h a i r m a n , C o s t a i n G r o u p L t d 1973-80 Regional D i r e c t o r , L l o y d s B a n k Fellow of Imperial College G o v e r n o r of Imperial College Educated at C i t y a n d G u i l d s College ( C i v E n g dept) 1935-38

This man is an Old Centralian-how, aboutyou?

Wot no fire? Fireman Barney McCabe, Deputy President of the Imperial College Union, with the City and Guilds mascot Jezebel, a 1903fire engine Barney and Jezebel are still basking in the glory of their recent widely acclaimed appearance on the children's TV programme, Blue Peter

For further information contact: Helen Brookes, Room 303, Sherfield Building? * Mike Richardson, City and Guilds Union Office, Mechanical Engineering dept.

London Student, Feb 11, 1982 FELIX, February

12, 1982

Page 3

1982 Presidential Election

upsets them. T h e y may well be nice p e o p l e — i n fact having k n o w n almost all of t h e m I k n o w this to be so, but they have not been leaders, a n d worse they have not been interested in the m e m b e r s h i p . In my view there is a wealth of talent and potential interest a n d involvement present a m o n g the membership waiting for a suitable President to be elected.

T h e normal procedure for electing a U n i o n It cannot have escaped the notice of any President relies o n candidates w h o have been student w h o has been at I C for more than a " b r o u g h t up through the r a n k s " in the U n i o n year a n d quite possibly many of those who way of thinking and after the votes have been arrived at the beginning of this year that I C U is Following last week's editorial, three c o u n t e d they take a single step sideways and a fast declining institution held in contempt by articles have been received on elections... sit d o w n in the P r e s i d e n t i a l c h a i r . T h e s e many of its ordinary members. T h i s is a tragic people are easily recognizable and 1 urge you thing to have happened to the instrument that n o t t o v o t e for t h e m as t h e y a r e t o t a l l y represents the students of one of the most unsuited for the position of President. important academic institutions in the world.

This is going to be a very important year for Traditionally the sabbatical U n i o n Officers students at I C . T h e I C / Q E C merger is still s t r e n u o u s l y blame this on the o r d i n a r y lurking in the b a c k g r o u n d and the student m e m b e r s , who they say are boring, apathetic grant has received a substantial cut in real a n d not interested in the U n i o n . W h a t amazes terms. T h e British education system has a me is that after pathetic exhibitions like the last history of political tinkering a n d it is important U G M they s h o u l d be at all surprised by the T h e last t w o years have seen a s a d decline in that the elected representatives of I C U should non-interest. I have been at I C now for five the ability of the U n i o n to have any real effort resist any attempt to break the mo u ld of the years a n d m y o w n experience does not tally o n e v e n t s in C o l l e g e . O f c o u r s e w e a r e Brit'sh education system against the interest of with this c o m m o n l y held view. T h e old joke consulted and sometimes even listened to, but the universities a n d students c o n c e r n e d . T h i s about boring scientists and engineers is simply all too often we are ignored. T h e reason for issue of merges is a far wider one and effects not true. O n e only needs to look at the many this is the deliberate policy of 'co-operation' of not only I C / Q E C students. H a v e y o u heard of very active clubs and societies and the large the last two years. the B e d f o r d / B i r k b e c k merge for example? number of events that take place every week J o h n P a s s m o r e , who it is clear in retrospect B a c k at College a private caterer has at last to realise that I C is overflowing with interesting was out of his depth as President, was elected b r o k e n the M o o n e y monopoly and discussions and intelligent people. pledging to increase co-operation with College about an N U S referendum are starting again.

N o the truth is very far from this. T h e after the m o r e confrontation-type policies of A lot of important decisions are going to problem lies in the fact that in recent years the the p r e v i o u s two P r e s i d e n t s , M a r y have to be made this c o m i n g year and it is of U n i o n has been represented by the very small A t t e n b o r o u g h and C h r i s F o x . T h i s , together vital importance to elect a President w h o is not minority of students at IC who are boring. w i t h the fact that J o h n P a s s m o r e m a k e s ' going to let himself be pushed a r o u n d and is T h o s e people w h o view the U n i o n as a vehicle B a r n e y M c C a b e appear industrious, has led to dedicated to m a k i n g the U n i o n effectual and for cosseting their o w n egos and providing the state of affairs we now see, where 'anything more relevant to its members. them with a glass of sherry when something for a quiet life' seems to have b e c o m e the Presidential role. N i c k M o r t o n , although very likeable and well intentioned, has failed to reverse this. I'm sure he gets on very well with particular laying d o w n norms for publicity and the Rector, M r M o o n e y , etc. H e should do, speakers expenses. T h e y have already taken because he rarely, if ever, causes t h e m any steps to effectively put the clubs that need to problems. H e n c e the 'quiet life' a p p r o a c h has buy large items of equipment onto five year spread to the College authorities, who have plans (hence spreading the load over five consequently slipped into a comfortable years). This must be carried on by next year's c omplac en c y.

Executive.

I s h o u l d p o i n t out here that I a m not In t h e f i e l d s of A c a d e m i c A f f a i r s a n d suggesting that we s h o u l d hold occupations or Exte r n a l Affairs the President plays a leading T h e most important single factor effecting I C U take other forms of disruptive action, except role. A g a i n it is the expenditure cuts that next year will be the increase in its grant. This as a last resort. B u t the U n i o n has been sadly govern the range of problems that will c r o p up. increase will be not more than 5%, w h i c h is well lacking any firm, decisive leadership over the W e must fight to keep a firm c o m m i t m e n t to short of the rate of inflation. T h i s is arguably last two years. C o - o p e r a t i o n has gone too far teaching in all departments rather than let it be fair since College itself is having to sustain a w h e n 'the R e c t o r and the President of the sacrificed to save current research. T h e public cut of 20% in its expenditure over the next Students' U n i o n decided' o n a mid-session spending cuts generally mean that we are three years. r e n t i n c r e a s e (to q u o t e f r o m S t u d e n t w i t n e s s i n g a r a t i o n a l i z a t i o n of L o n d o n R e s i d e n c e C o m m i t t e e m i n u t e s ) in d i r e c t In view of this any changes made under the University as a whole. T h u s to be an effective c o n t r a d i c t i o n of U n i o n p o l i c y . T h e n N i c k regime of the next I C U President must be cost voice next year we must have an integrated M o r t o n says he didn't consider a rent strike e f f e c t i v e . A l l t h e e l e c t i o n p l e d g e s of t h e response from the student unions of L o n d o n because ' n o b o d y proposed one'. Frightened of prospective candidates must be seen in this University. annoying the Rector, N i c k ? In the words of light. F o r example we c a n only bring the U n i o n

by Andrew Lyall

Reversing the trend

by J Martin

Taylor

Effective leadership

by Stephen

M a r k S m i t h , if we can't rely o n the President to lead, then who will?

In t h e s e i n c r e a s i n g l y d i f f i c u l t t i m e s t h e U n i o n needs strong leadership, w h i c h means not being afraid ot annoying or criticizing College 'dignitaries' when they deserve it. It means standing up for students' interests and not adopting the laissez-faire attitudes seen over the last two years. It means leading in a definite direction, rather than attempting to drift with the tide a n d please all of the people all of the time, w h i c h is only possible if you do n o t h i n g ( a s N i c k M o r t o n is b e l a t e d l y discovering).

In short: co-operation, yes; but when it r e a c h e s t h e e x t e n t of a c q u i e s c e n c e to everything College c o m e s up with, then it has gone too far. T h e U n i o n has b e c o m e little m o r e than a b r a n c h of the College administration w h e n more than ever it needs to be fighting the students' corner. T h i s trend must be r e v e r s e d n o w . C o m e b a c k M a r y A t t e n b o r o u g h and C h r i s F o x , all is forgiven!

Page 4

Goulder

Refectory under U n i o n c o n t r o l if it is going to generate a profit in the short and medium term. I have used this example because it is the pledge most often made but (as usual) never kept, indeed accurate costings of the U n i o n R e f e c t o r y h a v e n e v e r b e e n m a d e by the U n i o n . T h i s is one g o o d reason to treat every election candidate with healthy scepticism.

T h i s n e e d f o r a n a p p r e c i a t i o n of t h e e c o n o m i c climate is most obvious in the antics of M r N i c k M o r t o n a n d the B a r C o m m i t t e e .

H i s committee apparently intends to have a bust of P r i n c e A l b e r t in the Southside B a r in addition to a coloured print of Prince A l b e r t ' s coat of a r m s a n d various V i c t o r i a n prints at a c o s t of ÂŁ750. T h i s is u t t e r w a s t e a n d a n extravagance that any President should have stopped immediately.

I hope it is apparent that next session we must have a P r e s i d e n t who has s o m e experience of the way both College and U n i o n w o r k s . U n i n f o r m e d election pledges can seldom be implemented.

It is clear that the U n i o n has lost its direction over the last two years. This has o c c u r e d because the sabbaticals have failed to relate to many students and have been content to wait in the U n i o n B a r for the masses to c o m e to them. But perhaps the most fatal error made

by M r M o r t o n and M r P a s s m o r e is that they a s s u m e d that by sitting on committees they were actually being effective. T h e y were in fact b e c o m i n g ever more isolated in the U n i o n Office never m a k i n g any real effort to talk to ordinary students. T h e y thus exchanged relevant feedback for hackist sycophancy.

T h e r e is a l s o i n e f f i c i e n c y i n t h e U n i o n administration itself w h i c h must be cut. In particular U n i o n F i n a n c e C o m m i t t e e must have a more effective policy governing the expenses that most clubs have in c o m m o n . In

T h u s I urge you to vote for a candidate who is at least partly experienced in U n i o n affairs, willing to argue the U n i o n cause effectively, and most importantly willing to get out of his office and meet students a r o u n d College.

FELIX, February

12, 1982

Small Ads •Vacation Jobs Wanted for training a n d o n e week telephone interviewing: 2 Dutch, 2 G e r m a n a n d 2 Italian n a t i o n a l s to c o n d u c t market r e s e a r c h f o r a g e o p h y s i c a l survey. S c i e n t i f i c k n o w l e d g e required — minimum A Level (or equivalent) Physics and Maths.

P a y m e n t £3.50 an hour. C o n t a c t Claire, Field Department, Burke Market R e s e a r c h , 6 C a m p d e n H i g h Street, L o n d o n N W 1 O J H ; t e l e p h o n e (01) 387-5761.

•Working Holidays, Summer Jobs.

G u i d e to varied work o p p o r t u n i t i e s a n d free travel at h o m e a n d a b r o a d , £1.50. Hawthorn B o o k s (FX), 39 H a w t h o r n W a y , S t o r r i n g t o n , Sussex • B u s h Arena stereo tuner-amplifier a n d G a r a a r d S P 2 5 M k l V turntable a n d s p e a k e r s , vgc, £100ono. P h o n e M a r i e , 404-4441 ext 3046 d u r i n g d a y o r 6 0 2 2237 after 6:00pm.

• Pioneer turntable 512, belt drive a n d T r i o K A 3 7 0 0 stereo amplifier, 2 5 w , b o t h in e x c e l l e n t c o n d i t i o n . £ 8 0 the pair, or will split. C o n t a c t M . G .

R o b i n s o n , M e c h E n g 2.

• T w o Sony speakers (SS50), 4 0 w , g o o d c o n d i t i o n , £40 pair, o n o . A . C .

Hay, D o C 3 .

• N A D 9200 cartridge, M m t o n l y £10.

C o n t a c t T e r r y J u d d , C i v E n g 2 o r 3735367 after 6:00pm.

• Tangent RS4s a n d s t a n d s a n d m o n i t o r a u d i o leads, £175 or offers, 584-8241 e v e n i n g s .

•Wanted: A n y i n f o r m a t i o n l e a d i n g to the return o B o ' s toolkit, i.e., a 2 " Whitworth brass spanner a n d spare s u m p bolt. P l e a s e c o n t a c t C & G U .

• S i n g l e room S i n c l a i r G d n s , £25pw.

Contact Steve J a c k s o n , EE2.

• Person needed to share flat, S o u t h fields, near tube, £25pw i n c hot water, c e n t r a l heating , l i g h t i n g , e t c . ( p h o n e e x c l ) . P h o n e int 3370 o r 874-9920. f

• W o u l d two girls like t o c o m p l e t e a g r o u p of 8 to a p p l y for a C o l l e g e h e a d t e n a n c y flat next y e a r ? If interested p l e a s e c o n t a c t P h i l i p A d e y via A e r o 2 letter-racks.

• Lists of lifts t o a n d f r o m S o u t h K e n s i n g t o n c a n be obtained from R o o m 6M19, Huxley Building N e w inclusions are always welcome P l e a s e state c l e a r l y w h e t h e r y o u want or are offering a lift a n d give y o u r internal a n d external p h o n e n u m b e r s (or letter-rack c o n t a c t p o i n t s ) . N o p h o n e c a l l s please—I have n o o b j e c t i o n t o d o i n g this in m y s p a r e - t i m e , b u t it h a s to be at m y c o n v e n i e n c e .

• Perhaps a little late now but a brief note that C h r i s t m a s a n d other u s e d c a r d s c a n be sent (or taken) to t h e S i s t e r s of V e r o n a , 4 C h i s w i c k L a n e , W 4 . T h e y u s e t h e m in their t h e r a p y work for the mentally handicapped.

• Badgesoc m a k e s b a d g e s for a n y o n e : society, club, election candidate, valentine, c l i q u e . T a s t e n o object, e.g.

"Barney M c C a b e Fan C l u b " . Contact Lee Mercer c / o M e c h E n g .

• F a n c y a free ticket to the Hammersmith Theatre? A l l that's i n v o l v e d is a c c o m p a n y i n g s o m e old p e o p l e there.

C o m e t o a m e e t i n g o n M o n d a y in the Community Action Group's room, top of the U n i o n , at 12:30pm.

• Covent G d n , T h e Venue, Paris Pullman, The Southbank—interested?

Meet us to d i s c u s s these a n d a n y t h i n g else, M o n F e b 15, 12:45pm, Beit A r c h Bot/Zoo Common Room.

• R a s h , Tim, Anthony, Denbo, Alison, Angela, Hannah, etc. T h a n k s f o r a great birthday.

•Wanted: C S g a s a n d stun g r e n a d e s .

See C & G Union.

• I C M C P Soc will meet in A 8 L i n s t e a d every night. B o o k a b l e in a d v a n c e .

American Express accepted. Please come quickly.

• T o m Owen has got his h e a d t o g e t h e r a n d will not b e s t a n d i n g f o r anything.

A p o l o g i e s to t h o s e w h o s e h o p e s were raised.

• Guy! If y o u ' r e w o r r i e d a b o u t s h a r i n g y o u r b e d try a cork.

•BE2/DNW S.J.A. Harrison (ex-Wimp of the W e e k ) takes on J u i c y J a n e t . Will Kirt G e r b i l ' s w o r k - o u t s p a y off!

•Wanted: O n e 3 6 " D D c u p bra for use as j o c k s t r a p . R m 622, T i z a r d .

•I'll b e y o u r v a l e n t i n e a n y t i m e y o u ' r e o n a D C - 1 0 s e r i e s 300. M e e t m e f o r a bit of s l o t h f u l d e v i a t i o n .

• T o my hunk, thanks to FELIX, my feline f r i e n d , I c a n s a y 'I love y o u ' a n d save £8 into the b a r g a i n , t h e Kat. P S : Happy Birthday.

• Kay's Sister, I love y o u , David's •Stutchberries—only £1—sold. brother • M a r t i n wit h o n e a n d a half l e g s , w h y • K a r e n Barnett I w i s h I w a s ten y e a r s didn't y o u fall f o r a d r a n e i n s t e a d of younger, J o h n Healy getting all plastered u p ?

• J o h n , so do I Karen • Dereyous chap said: " C o m e play me • C a r o l i n e B r o w n I think y o u ' r e great. a ballard" and she agreed.

If y o u ever need a n extra player, I'll • Nottingham Forest o n e , Stuart g l a d l y s h a v e m y legs. H a m m y U n i t e d love. A n i l l u m i n a t i n g m a t c h !

•Sue M ? I h o p e y o u don't g o away.

• H u n t . Beware, when the cats away • A l e x B., a n d of c o u r s e M a c i e i , h a p p y the m i c e will play. T a k e c a r e .

V a l e n t i n e ' s D a y from F l ? a n d S n o w • C a p t a i n L — c a n we a l l j o i n y o u i n ball. your Matey bubble bath? Love a n d • F i f i : y o u m a k e that r o c k i n g w o r l d g o k i s s e s , the kitty. round—Brian M. • T i m m y : I've n o t h i n g t o lose,_ J a n e .

• 6 7 2 : "I w a n d e r l o n e l y a s a c l o u d • F r a s e r : T h a n k s f o r t h e ball, Eira. . but o n l y w h e n y o u ' r e not there, 1.

• Gribbit: A kindred spirit: T h e • A l i s o n — I ' v e b e e n l o n g i n g to get out creat ur e from the b l a c k l a g o o n . of hos pit a l a n d into y o u r a r m s . L o t s of love, A n d y .

• B e n d y : W h y haven't y o u n o t i c e d m e ?

Shirley.

• E l e n a . If a w o m a n in y o u r p o s i t i o n • J a n e B: Cradl e snatchin's fun, J W . were to grant m e a n h o u r ? G e o r g e .

• P h i l l i p a : Y o u ' r e B E H I N D the t i m e s • H y d e P a r k isn't b i g e n g u g h f o r o u r David James. l o v e — c o m e to the m o o n with me—I've • O t t e r — R a v i s h m e , J a n e W. h e a r d there's plenty of G u i r t n e s s there a n d n o c r e a k y f l o o r b o a r d s — I love y o u • P h i l l i p a — L i e b a c k a n d t h i n k of m a d l y a n d forever, T r o g l e d e B. Poland—M? • 6 4 3 3 S F ; P a t i e n c e is a virtue, a m • C h i p p i e — C o m e fly wit h m e , T h e l o o k i n g f or war d to r e w a r d : Birdman.

• D o n ' t tell L i a m , M a t h s 1.

• T s a r — T w e e t , Tweet, Teapot.

• T o s c h o o l g i r l s e v e r y w h e r e all m y • D r Waage—from your loyal blood love—Jez. donors!

• T o J e z all m y l o v e — H Q N O O .

• Lech—Let's express our Solidarnosc?

• T o the high p i t c h e d S c o t s w o m a n Yon. " H u l l o o ! " be M . Y . valentine — • A m a n d a — W h e n will t h e a n s w e r b e Chunderman. yes? S.C.R.E.W. • L o v e a n d k i s s e s to all " L e s f e m m e s • R u s s e l l — M a y o u r affair last forever. de la c l i q u e " f r o m P & A .

Arthur Guinness.

• N . G . L i n s t e a d l o n g t i m e n o s e e , have • T u r k e y , you're finger lickin' g o o d , a good day anyway, the Tartan Frog.

Gary.

• W o o d s t o c k , happy Valentine's Day, • D e b b i e — s q u e e z e me! Zit. love a n d k i s s e s a n d c u d d l e s , B o n z o .

• Ant—I'll never g i v e y o u a c o m m o n • P e n g u i n shifts to ninety d e g r e e s cold—DJBHC. b e c a u s e F o s t e r s r e f r e s h e s the parts • J i l l — L e t ' s s h a k e , rattle a n d r o l l , U g .

G u i n n e s s can't r e a c h .

• P o d g e — L o o k i n g forward to T u e s • H o t l i p s of P h y s i c s , be m y valentine, day, L y n z . lots of love, B i f f o .

•I/U Challenge Griffin/Gascoigne • L o u i s e , b e m y C a n a d i a n "valentine. to be a s w e e t i e / s m a r t i e t o d a y .

T e n n i s players d o it f o r love, M i c h a e l .

• H a p p y Valentine's D a y from " T h e • P e t a l — y o u too c a n d o it o n t h e G a n g of F o u r " . computer.

John Watts (ex Fischer-Z) 2 Supports, Steel Band, Jazz Band, & 2 Discos Food available. Bar til 2am.

8pm-3am

Union Building

FELIX, February 12, 1982

Tickets

£2.50 Page 5

Gale Is D e a d G a l e was nineteen and pretty. S h e ' d been t a k e n into care at the age of six mon th s and in the intervening years h a d been in fourteen different institutions. She became a drug addict. N o w G a l e is dead. P e r h a p s a life where nothing went right, but perhaps not so different from y o u r o w n .

F o r those who didn't see this film o n B B C H o r i z o n in 1970 it's a must.

A tragic story, but it should be of interest to everyone.

ICU Welfare Officer

What do you want to know about Welfare Week for? After all, you're not sick. Mummy and Daddy told you all about the birds and bees ages ago, and perhaps you're onto the 'practical' by now. It's bound to be boring, anyway. Well, in my time at IC I've come across some pretty weird misconceptions and some extremely naive attitudes, not to mention a fair number of unreasonable viewpoints. What we're aiming to do is to provide a factual background and an open forum for discussion on a few of these points, and maybe even a bit of fun (shock, horror!). It's up to you if you want to come along or not, but it's taking up a fair amount of your money, so you may as well come along and make it worthwhile.

EVEN

G l a d to be G a y ?

F r o m most people's attitudes in this place you may think that it's pretty o d d to be gay—somethin g dirty or whatever. Y e t statistically there are probably as many as 500 gays at I C . S o , if you've found that y o u are (or might be) gay you're almost certainly not as alone as you felt.

B u t what does it feel like to be gay? Is it any 'different'? H o w do you b e c o m e gay—is it a disease (yes, people actually believe that), is it i n b o r n or a result of background? I don't k n o w , but c o m e along a n d discuss i t — w h e t h e r you're gay yourself, or consider gays as " f u c k i n g queers" or "raving poufs" it's likely there'll be something to gain.

I've noticed that many people find it threatening to be in the company of s o m e o n e who is gay—apparently they think that they're just about to leap on them or something—but perhaps a w o r d : do y o u find every girl (or guy) y o u come across irresistably attractive? C h a n c e s are he/she finds you as unattractive as y o u find h i m / h e r .

A

afternoon.

On show all Wednesday 0,O, Just One The effect of that one drink on your 'o system is quite surprising. Find out!

The Least You Can Do A moderately serious view of contraception.

Drinking more sodding drinking—but Drinking you almost all do too much!

'Ave you got a male assistant miss? A light hearted view of the taboos of contraception.

VD Attack Plan N o t us at it, but it at us (wot?)

Gale Is Dead

Union S C R

Wednesday, February 17 1:00pm 00pm 10pm 00pm 3:00pm

Films

Abortion It's a pretty emotive subject a n d whether you're a firm believer in the "women's right to c h o o s e " or the "rights of the u n b o r n c h i l d " this often stirs up a lot of feeling. B u t yet this is often allowed to cover up facts that are important, leaving the pregnant party bewildered and m i x e d u p to say the least. A r e the fears of future sterility well founded or r u b b i s h (or something in between)? C a n y o u r G P stall you until it's too late? W h a t will an abortion cost? See the stall in the U n i o n L o w e r L o u n g e to find out, any time during the week.

Tuesday, February 16 12:45pm

4:00pm 8 til late

C o n d o m Inflation Competition Drugs: G o o d or Bad? Film: Sex can be a Problem Discussion of film and sexual Problems Drinking: what does it do to you?

Gay: what does it mean?

'Welfare H o p ' — B a r n Dance & Disco. Late bar & films

Rape

Beit Q u a d

" W e l l , it's good for a laugh." " A l l women need a good raping anyway." " T h e y enjoy it."

Upper Lounge Union Dining Hall Union Dining Hall

F o r anyone who thinks any of these are true, perhaps I c a n straighten out a few misconceptions. Rape is a very serious business—if "they enjoy it", then it just isn't r a p e — s o m e t h i n g more like the truth might include violence (beating, " c u t t i n g " , etc.), anal a n d / o r oral as well as normal sex and other enforced degradation (the attacker might urinate or defaecate on the victim for instance). Pretty sickening picture isn't it? It seems to be something accepted in our "male dominated society' that w o m e n only exist to "get l a i d " and that if some girl is wearing attractive clothing she's out to "get a m a n " . T h i s leads to many of the misconceptions that can lead to rape. If y o u want to k n o w more, please pick up one of the leaflets that'll be ar o u n d, or c o m e and see me and I'll lend you a copy of the Rape C r i s i s C e n t r e ' s report.

Brown C o m m R m Upper Lounge Union Building

IC Welfare Plug Believe it or not, I C has quite a g o o d range of welfare facilities—almost whatever's w r o n g there's b o u n d to be s o m e o n e to go to see.

Thursday, February 18 1:00pm

Police: good, bad or just ugly?

4

Health C e n t r e - t h i s boasts three full-time doctors a n d n u r s i n g / administrative staff to match, a large sick bay and various visiting specialists (including an accupuncturist!). They're all to be found in 14 Princes G a r d e n s .

Upper Lounge

Student C o u n s e l l o r - D o n 'hangs out' in the basement of number 15 Princes G a r d e n s and spends his time talking to students about anything that is bothering them; from w o r k l o a d to h o m e environment and beyond.

S o why not go and see him if y o u have a problem-it's absolutely confidential so no-one else will k n o w.

Attention L i n k s / C h a p s / 2 2 / F i e l d C u p Contestants

The Fuzz

Sex can be a Problem

A r o u n d IC it's the accepted thing to go for a drink with your mates. Fine, but we all k n o w that drinking c a n be a problem. W h e n does social drinking become a problem? T e n pints a week? Twenty? It's difficult to k n o w , but I was s h o c k e d when I found out just how m u c h alcohol affects the system, and how long the effects last. Perhaps the most sobering thought (excuse the pun) was brought home by the film Just O n e (showing W e d n e s d a y afternoon). I always thought one drink did nothing to me and that two or three had little more effect—but I found I was w r o n g . Obviously cirrhosis of the liver isn't the only possible problem.

H a v e y o u got the greatest of respect for the Police F o r c e ? N o t everyone h a s — t h e more scruffy amongst us tend to represent prime targets for searching for drugs, breathalysing and so o n , and it doesn't tend to leave y o u with too g o o d an image when you've just been made twenty minutes late for an important meeting (I know!). Y e t they do need to do their job s o m e h o w (or are y o u an anarchist?). If y o u have either viewpoint, or c o u l d put forward any suggestions, c o m e along T h u r s d a y lunchtime and voice your views.

Right now your only problem may be "getting it d o w n " at embarrassing times. Y e t it might frighten y o u that it has been estimated that one in twelve w o m e n suffer from frigidity, and that one in twenty men suffer from impotence. It's not something many of us discuss m u c h — a n d perhaps y o u didn't k n o w of the treatments available (I sure didn't). This film will be followed by a discussion headed by a representative of ' G r a p e v i n e ' — a y o u ng peoples sexual counselling agency (amongst other things)—come along to either or both.

If you've been going to the pub more than four or five times a week—if you've really got into practice so that you c a n handle eight or ten pints, then the chances are that y o u might be doing yourself serious h a r m .

Please pick up a questionnaire from the display in the U n i o n L o w e r L o u n g e (a leaflet as well if you like) and fill it i n — w i t h luck we can get some statistics for College. In any case please come along 10 the talk by the L o n d o n C o u n c i l on A l c o h o l i s m and find out just what you're doing to yourself!

Page 6

FELIX, February

12, 1982

Drugs I guess that nearly everyone at College has c o m e across drugs at some time. (Note, that includes t o b a c c o a n d alcohol by definition!), a n d whether or not y o u support the legalisation of cannabis y o u must agree that some drugs do have very harmful effects. B u t because it's illegal, drugs is not a subject that is often discussed, and perhaps y o u might be tempted to 'try them out' to see what they're like. J u s t what are the effects (both pleasurable a n d harmful) of specific drugs? W h a t is truth a n d what is myth? Just what does the law say? These are all things I'm not sure about (perhaps y o u are!), and there's a chance to ask all these questions (and more) at the discussion lead by the c o m m u n i t y drug project (Wednesday afternoon).

FELIX, February

Student Services-This includes the a c c o m m o d a t i o n office (mediumlarge amounts of College and private sector accommodation) to sort out somewhere to live and the 'Welfare B i t ' to help out with practical problems (landlord hassles, rent rebates, signing on, rights, etc.) and anything else that y o u can't think where to go for—if they don't k n o w , they'll probably k n o w where y o u c a n find out.

Nightline-This has the great advantage of being open at night rather than during the day-if you're feeling a bit d o w n or would like to chat about something there's always s o m e o n e there during termtime (6:00pm8:00am). T h e y ' v e got a fair selection of info too o n E n t s , films, discos, transports; y o u name it! A n d they'll find you somewhere to find out if they can't tell you themselves. S o u n d s impressive, doesn't it? T o find how it really w o r k s , d r o p in some time to the basement of 9 Princes G a r d e n s or ring t h e m on 581-2468.

Day N u r s e r y - F o r anyone with p r e s c h o o l age children, this can be a great help-it runs throughout the year (not just during termtime) and has skilled and experienced staff. There's even a grants scheme for anyone who can't afford the full fees-but unfortunately there's often a waiting list, so if you think y o u might want to use it try to let them k n o w in advance 12, 1982

Page 7

CLUBS AND SOCIETIESInd Soc

PhotoSoc A s those of y o u w h o have read o u r newsletter will k n o w , we have arrangec two lectures a n d two competitions for the e n d of this m o n t h and the b e g i n n i n g of n e x t . T h e r e a r e , h o w e v e r , s o m e a l t e r a t i o n s t o the p r o g r a m m e . Firstly, the lecture on M a r c h 2 entitled " T h e rise and fall of the plate c a m e r a ' by M a r t i n Russell, will start at 7:30pm a n d not 6:30pm as stated. M r Russell will be bringing a van-load of historical plate cameras with h i m , a n d if y o u have an old c a m e r a y o u would like to bring along he will give an expert opinion o n it. E n t r a n c e is free, but c o m e early, as the theatre (Mines 3-03) is not very large a n d M r Roussell is an extremely popular lecturer.

S e c o n d l y , M r A . J . W i l k i n s o n F R I C S , w h o was to be judging the coloure competition on M a r c h 16, is unable to c o m e . W e will be trying to find another judge, further details will be given nearer the time.

F i n a l l y , d o n ' t f o r g e t t h a t o u r f i r s t e v e n t is a b l a c k a n d w h i t e competition, t o be judged b y M r G . D . H a r p m a n , o n F e b r u a r y 23 at 6:30pm in M i n e s 3-03. T h e entry fee is 20p per print, and p h o t o s should be not less than 5 " x 7 " a n d need not be m o u n t e d .

SF There c o m e s a time in every man's (and woman's) life w h e n he (or she) has to face up to certain undeniable . truths. Fortunately, this time has, for me at least, not yet a r r i v e d , so here is a bulletin instead. A new S F magazine has c o m e i n t o e x i s t a n c e a n d its British. It's called E x t r o and issue one is rather good. If it continues at that standard it will be w o r t h ordering. I have no information about the other new magazine, Interzone. H a v e y o u ever wondered why biblical fundamentalists don't think the earth is flat? W h a t freemasonry is all about? H o w Nigel C a l d e r persuades the B B C to film the scripts he sends them?

Soc Is it r e a l l y t r u e t h a t a w e l l programmed Kray One with feedback mechanisms would m a k e a better P r i m e Minister than Margaret T h a t c h e r ? W h a t are the P r o t o c o l s of the Elders of Britain?

D o y o u k n o w what M e r o v i g i a n means? A l l these questions are linked. I remember laughing yesterday but I can't r e m e m b e r what at. D o e s anyone think they c a n write funny bulletins for S F S o c ? D o y o u thank G a r y T r u d e a u would accept the job? Y e s , question m a r k s c a n be fun, but w h e n were they invented? S o m e b o d y call the A A : I'm about to have a b r e a k d o w n .

Maxim R.T. Zinc and Hiriam

T o d a y , Ian R o s s will a c t u a l l y speak C h e m E n g L T 1 , 1:00pm, b a n k r u p t c i e s , strikes a n d general c h a o s permitting. H e a r h o w L a k e r flew and flopped.

T h e G r e a t T h a m e s Barrier was inspected and passed safe by the Industrial Society yesterday. T h i s was one of our most popular visits yet, with a minibusful enjoying a l o o k r o u n d o n e of L o n d o n ' s modern monuments.

N e x t : E l e c t i o n F e v e r hits ICIS as well as I C U this week. N o m i n a tions for next year's C o m m i t t e e

close o n F r i d a y , F e b r u a r y 19, so anyone who may wish to s l a n d please drop a note lo C h r i s W i l s h a w , C h e m E n g 4 or c o m e lo today's committee meeting, 12:30pm, C h e m E n g Theatre I. A l s o next week: ' T h e Fuel ol I he F u t u r e ' talk by M r P a r k e t ol t'National Coal Board see posters and n e x l week's I I.I IX for details.

C o m i n g soon: Full day w i l h British A i r w a y s — " W h a t does a M a n a g e r actually d o ? " you ask.

W e l l , here's a chance l o a c c o i n pany one about his daily business and find out more information as we receive i t — W e ' l l take more care of you!

AudioSoc M y sincerest apologies c o m e along with a whole string of them from M r M i k e Daniels and he is very sorry for not being able to c o m e along and lecture to all y o u lovely afficianados but the A u d i o T / A T L a b s S h o w came first as I a m sure y o u will understand. M a y b e next time, eh? N o w dry your eyes and after having sighed a silent sigh, read on....

Ro l l u p , roll up, rollup; hear the bestest lecture you'se ever did h e a r — H a l l e l u j ah life is anew. A l t h o u g h he is Australian (and they did bring F o s t e r s along with the A b o r i g n e and the hopping kangaroo), M a x T o w n s h e n d is a great personality and an amazing electrical engineer to boot. H o w c o u l d y o u possibly miss this one?

Elite Electronics will conjure up mental facsimiles of small black boxes with k n o b s o n , sticky mat turntables with no k n o b s on and very good s o u n d quality. W e l l , M a x is the M a n a g i n g D i r e c t o r of this company and he has p r o m i s e d to c o m e in and give us a lecture on s o m e of the ideas he had used in developing his audio system. T h i s he has p r o m i s e d to do o n M o n d a y , F e b r u a r y 15, at 6:30pm in the Quiet R o o m , Q R 0 0 2 , Sherfield Building. S o support your neighbourhood S p i d e r m a n and c o m e along. I vow that y o u will enjoy yourselves. B r i n g a friend, dog or bottle.

Just as an e x t r a incentive (and s o m e o n e else did this) R a y m o n d C o o k , M a n a g i n g D i r e c t o r of K . E . T . L o u d s p e a k e r s is at Imperial College the next day, T u e s d a y , F e b r u a r y 16 at 6:00pm in R o o m 6.20, Royal S c h o o l of M i n e s B u i l d i n g . H i s l e c t u r e is e n t i t l e d " T h e D e v e l o p m e n t of the L o u d s p e a k e r " . H e is a very educated gentleman—witness the number of World. times his product gets o n Tomorrow's

2nd Year Students Now[s the time to make plans for a job in the Summer of '82...

If y o u ' r e an ambitious 2nd y e a r student, F o r d have some g o o d news for you. W e are l o o k i n g for a small n u m b e r of p e o p l e l i k e y o u to w o r k for us for up to 3 months this s u m m e r vacation in jobs w h i c h w i l l b e v e r y r e w a r d i n g in more w a y s than one.

T h e r e a r e opportunities in Sales & M a r k e t i n g , D e s i g n E n g i n e e r i n g , F i n a n c e or Systems, a n d y o u ' l l e a r n a r o u n d £400 a month. Y o u ' l l also gain v a l u a b l e w o r k e x p e r i e n c e a n d , if y o u l i k e us a n d w e l i k e you, these openings c o u l d l e a d to an e x c i t i n g c a r e e r opportunity w h e n y o u c o m e d o w n

Page 8

To b e c o n s i d e r e d for Systems or E n g i n e e r i n g you must b e r e a d i n g a relevant d e g r e e . H o w ever, if y o u ' d like to w o r k in Sales & M a r k e t i n g or F i n a n c e any d e g r e e d i s c i p l i n e w o u l d be welcome.

So join the F o r d team this summer. It will b e a v e r y r e w a r d i n g e x p e r i e n c e . For more information, contact M i s s Porter of the C a r e e r s A d v i s o r y S e r v i c e in Room 309, S h e r f i e l d B u i l d i n g .

C l o s i n g date 28th F e b r u a r y , 1982.

FELIX, February

12, 1982

CLUBS AND SOCIETIES Scout

Bookshop News

Graffiti For those who don't know, Graffitti members are strange p e o p l e w h o r e v e l in a r t i s t i c activity. P e r h a p s more accurately we attempt to produce screenprinted posters, T-shirts and various other things. W e are prepared to print almost anything.

A lot of our w o r k involves printing p o s t e r s for o t h e r c l u b s a n d societies. S o , if you're a publicity officer b o r e d with F E L I X printing, come and see us. W e usually need a couple of weeks notice because all printing is done in spare time.

W e c a n be found, about half-way up the W e s t Staircase (opposite side to U n i o n Office) of the U n i o n Building behind the G y m . T h e r e is always someone there on W e d n e s day afternoons or alternatively contact us throught department letter-racks.

W e have recently bought an airbrush w h i c h will be available to members w h e n they have been shown how to use it properly.

Demonstrations will be held on W e d n e s d a y s a n d must be attended by anyone who wants to use it.

I C O N , the I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e R e v i e w is n o w o n sale in the B o o k s h o p , price 25p; unfortunately, this will be the last issue for s o m e time. D u e to the present e c o n o m i c situation, the Editorial B o a r d has decided to suspend publication until further notice.

Titles New Nuclear Illusion & Reality-Solly Z u c k e r m a n , C o l l i n s £4.95 Master S n i p e r - S t e p h e n H u n t e r , P a n £1.50 D u p e - L i z a C o d y , P a n £1.25 f?e//ex-Dick F r a n c i s , P a n £1.50 O p t i o n s - F r e d a Bright, P a n £1.50 L i o n of Comarre & A g a i n s t the Fall of Night-Arthur C. Clarke, Pan El.50 Alice Fell-Emma T e n n a n t , Picador £1.95 Woman in W/hife-Wilkie C o l l i n s , P a n £1.95 M a l c o l m , PicaPsychoanalysis, the Impossible Profession-Janet dor £1.95 Managing with Computers-Terry R o w a n , P a n £2.50 Jogging from M e m o r y - R o b B u c k m a n , P a n £1.25 Paupers P a r i s - M i l e s T u r n e r , P a n £1.95 Just off for the Weekend-John Slater, P a n £2.50 Five U p - L a d d i e L u c a s , Sidgwick, £7.95 (Signed by author.)

Bookshop Window D r a w i n g equipment from C a n n o n & U r i n .

C o m p u t i n g b o o k s from J o h n Wiley.

I C O N from you k n o w who.

I wonder if you illustrious editor could put a name to the model on the front of R o b B u c k m a n ' s book?

C i t y Limits is now on sale at the B o o k s h o p .

CND

Snooker

ICCAG Free tickets to the theatre, read on A l l that y o u need to do is take s o m e old people. W e ' l l pay for y o u r t i c k e t . G e t in t o u c h M o n d a y if you're interested.

L i k e playing with kids? T w o options open: Saturday aftenoon at A c t o n w i t h h a n d i c a p p e d children, or outings with children of battered wives.

U s u a l S o u p R u n s and draughtproofing homes, visiting old people at a home in H i g h St. K e n s i n g t o n , visiting patients at St. P a n c r a s H o s p i t a l . A l l details at the meeting.

Meetings: M o n d a y , 12:30pm, in our r o o m at the top of the U n i o n .

In t h e o n l y m a t c h p l a y e d last week, the A team beat the C team 4-1. Notable performances came from H u r f o r d , who crushed a slightly subdued G a s k i l l to gain the o n l y C t e a m v i c t o r y , a n d W h i t e , who brought M r Holt d o w n to earth after his surprise, but well-earned, victory over Jennings i n the O p e n . C o n g r a t u l a t i o n s , hugs a n d kisses must also go to super cool A l g y , who took out B team star Wright in the same competition.

P S , S T O P P R E S S , etc.—watch out for details of social event of the year — the S n o o k e r C l u b outing, comeing soon.

STOIC Sex Depressed? T e n s e nervous headaches? S o o t h e away your aches and pains with S T O I C (the most fun y o u c a n have with your clothes on) B e a m a z e d by the fabulous array of stars.

B e thrilled by the mind-bogglingly scintillating special effects.

B e s h o c k e d by the depth-investigative journalism.

TifiZ/arion H e r e ' s some questions the everyday student about College asks about STOIC. Orgy Q : W h a t has a network of ten television sets and is expanding? ( C l u e : not IC Radio).

Q : D o e s S T O I C Really have a Q u a n t e l Special Effects G e n e r a t o r costing millions of pounds?

Q : H a s S T O I C overspent o n its budget?

Q : W h a t is S T O I C ?

Incest If y o u are remotely interested in the answers to the above or you know how to switch o n a television, S T O I C needs your technical expertise.

(Perhaps you only want to interview your favourite sex symbol.)

Carnal Pleasure W h a t e v e r your interest in television, why no: c o m e along to the T V Studio (Elec Eng) at any time a n d meet some sincere, friendly people.

(See our illustrious C h a i r m a n , L a w r e n c e , as well.)

H o w are we going to disarm?

T h r o u g h t h e p r o c e s s of o u r Parliamentary democracy? If this is to be the case it c a n only o c c u r through a change of government.

C o m e a l o n g t o M a t h s 2 1 3 at 1:00pm on T h u r s d a y , F e b r u a r y 18, a n d listen to F r a n k A l l a u n , M P outline the L a b o u r Party's case.

T h e y have made many promising s t a t e m e n t s , but w o u l d they produce the goods if they got into power?—Remember w h i c h government authorised the upgrading of P o l a r i s i n t h e C h e v a l i n e programme.

F o r your information on Saturday, F e b r u a r y 13, I C is playing host to a 'Professions against the B o m b " conference (medics, journalists, scientists, that sort of thing). It's interesting to think that m a n y p e o p l e a t t a c k C N D for being generally left-wing and idealist, yet m u c h of our strongest support c o m e s from some of the m o s t " r e s p e c t a b l e " g r o u p s in society.

and Guide Last T h u r s d a y ' s regular lunchtime meeting included a talk on c l i m b i n g in the A l p s . O u r fortnightly w e e k e n d t r i p was to S n o w d o n i a last w e e k e n d . W e stayed in a comfortable hut in the O g y w n Valley a n d went climbing o n T r y f a r a n d w a l k i n g on the G l y d e r s on S a t u r d a y . Better weather on S u n d a y encouraged ail of us t o g o for a n i n t e r e s t i n g traverse of the C a r n e d d group of p e a k s . F i n e w e a t h e r g a v e us b r e a t h t a k i n g v i e w s of m o s t of S n o w d o n i a . After a meal at the hut we returned to College.

Y e s t e r d a y ' s meeting was a trip up the Q u e e n ' s T o w e r to yet a n o t h e r i n t e r e s t i n g v i e w of L o n d o n ' s skyline. N e x t week's regular meeting will be a talk o n P h o t o g r a p h y by an expert from the R C A , in M i n e s 303 at 12:30pm.

T h e n e x t w e e k e n d t r i p is o n F e b r u a r y 19 to 21 a n d is a service p r o j e c t at t h e N a ' i n a l S c o u t b o a t i n g c e n t r e i n '. i a r l o w - o n Thames.

F o r further details of all events see us at " B u t t i e s " in the S o u t h side U p p e r L o u n g e above the bar every lunchtime.

Soc

Soc

O n T u e s d a y , F e b r u a r y 16, there will be representatives present f r o m ' W o m e n for L i f e ' a n d W o m e n ' s V o i c e speaking o n the subject of abortion. T h e discussion will t a k e place in the G r e e n C o m m i t t e e R o o m at the top of the U n i o n Building at 6:30pm. A l l are welcome.

S e c o n d l y this term's ' R a d i c a l ' is under preparation (Soc Soc's newspaper). If you feel the urge to write something on any aspect of socialism (related to I C or just socialism in general), send it to Ian H o u s e , Life S c i 1.

Finally, don't forget our bookstore in the J C R , Friday lunchtimes. W e ' r e always ready for an argument, so see y o u there.

Wing Chun N o doubt if you've been reading our previous articles in F E L I X you'll be well aware of the history and traditions of W i n g C h u n , so I won't bore y o u all again. Instead I'll try t o give you a small idea about the non-physical side of the art.

W i n g C h u n places great emphasis on the training of the m i n d for without the right attitude one cannot train t h e b o d y . The student is encouraged to find his o w n w ay t h r o u g h the a r t , to question and criticize techniques before he accepts them, until he feels confident that the techniques will help him when the need arises.

FELIX, February

12, 1982

T h e instructor's job is to guide the s t u d e n t t h r o u g h the v a r i o u s stages, to help him realize his m i s t a k e s and how to c o r r e c t them. H e n c e training is c a r r i e d o u t in a r e l a x e d a t m o s p h e r e a l l o w i n g the s t u d e n t to t h i n k a b o u t t e c h n i q u e s i n s t e a d of blindly accepting them.

In writing this article I c a n only give you a small idea about W i n g C h u n , so if y o u would like to k n o w more, don't by shy, we are always glad to have new members and before I forget: we meet in the U n i o n G y m on W e d n e s d a y afternoons, 3:00pm a n d on Saturday mornings at 9:30am.

Page 9

Bowling City

&

Guilds

T o n i g h t , F e b 12: D & D sold out. M o t o r C l u b N av i g ati o n a l Rally.

S u n d a y , F e b 14: R u g b y Sevens. C o a c h e s leave 9:30 B e i t A r c h .

T u e s d a y , F e b 16: F i e l d C u p ! ( S e e G u i l d s h e e t ) T h u r s d a y , F e b 18: S P T L E c t u r e , D . J . H u n t ( A W R E A l d e r m a s t o n ) " T h e Design of H i g h P o w e r L a z e r s " , 1:00pm, Elec E n g 408.

F r i d a y , F e b 19: L i n k s C a r n i v a l . T i c k e t s £2.50 f r o m G u i l d s U n i o n Office. A e r o s o c Annual Dinner. Bristol Pedal Ca r Race (contact T i m Bell v i a C & G Office).

Wednesday, February 3 Football IC I IC II IC III . ic: IY , it: v IC V I I * Rugby IC I IC II

I a m l o o k i n g for suggestions of destinations of the n e x t R a g M a g trip, a n d also of clues for the G u i l d s m e n , so see me. S o c c e r S i x e s are on S u n d a y , Valentine's D a y , and the winning team e a c h get a big kiss from Dave.

O n M o n d a y we are going to see B a r r y H u m p h r i e s , so ask y o u r soc rep if there are any places left.

Finally, elections are o n the way, so get y o u r names up if y o u are interested. W e d n e s d a y ' s B r o a d s h e e t for details.

H . G .

W e l l s

S o c i e t y

x s

Hockey IC I \ Ladies \

Football IC I IC II Hockey IC I IC II

J e z e b e l is going to C o l o g n e o n F r i d a y , F e b r u a r y 19, a n d for about £30 y o u c a n go too.

N a m e s to D u n c a n B a t t y , C h e m 2, please, for a trip to the carnivals a n d beer festivals of C o l o g n e . T r a v e l will be by c o a c h and fire engine.

s s s s * i

RCA I ' C II Q M C II Guvs II Q M C III R S M II

5-2(H) 1- 0(H) 2- 2(A) 3- 2(A) (i-0(A) 2- 4(H)

I'CH CLP

25-8(A) 29-0(A)

Si Thomas (Cup) QMC

3- 4(H) 4- 1(A)

Saturday, February 6 ( t ' L C u p Semi-Finals) vs Q M C I vs L C II vs vs

Hendon M i l l Hill

2 2

-0(N) -0(N)

0-4(A) 0-0(H)

Sports Day

O n W e d n e s d a y , F e b r u a r y 3, two a n d a h a l l teams set o i l for S o u t h a m p t o n B o w l to play the last league of the S o u t h e r n D i v i s i o n . A f t e r a few mishaps we a r r i v e d live minutes late.

U n f o r t u n a t e l y w i t h o u t a ladies t e a m we lost that g a m e before we started. T h e C t e a m lost their g a m e 3-1. I n the first frame they w e r e b e a t e n b y o v e r 100 p i n s , b u t lost n a r r o w l y in the second frame by o n l y 20 pins.

T h e star of the t e a m a n d of the day was J e l l ' Q u i n n w h o got three 169 scores to give h i m his first 500+ series the h a r d w a y .

T h e B t e a m lost 4-0 a n d in one game got a l o w e r score t h a n the C t e a m . T h i s was generally d i s a p p o i n t i n g as we thought they m i g h t do w e l l w i t h some p r o m i s i n g new players. T h e A team t h r o u g h good t e a m w o r k w o n 3-1 a n d o n l y lost their last game by about 20 pins.

ft

Hockey

Firsts

T h i s y e a r s mega event is to be h e l d o n I I m p e r i a l made a somewhat tentative start W e d n e s d a y . A p r i l 28 at M o t s p u r P a r k . against a full strength St T h o m a s ' team.

Events are open to a l l s t u d e n t s a n d s t a f f A f t e r t w e n t y minutes T o m m i e s caught the I C of I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e , w i t h m e d a l s for a l l defence a d m i r i n g Ian D r i v e r s thighs by events, t r o p h i e s for i n d i v i d u a l s a n d b e e r c o n v e r t i n g a free hit from the top of the D . prizes.

W i t h thoughts of last year's close m a t c h , I C E n t r v forms a v a i l a b l e from F e b r u a r y 23 were soon a n o t h e r g o a l b e h i n d . T h e I m p e r i a l from I C U Office a n d C C U s . defence h u n g on a n d w i t h a m i n u t e r e m a i n Events include: 100m. 200m. 400m. i n g Bell a n d ( / a r m s tangled w e l l o n the hurdles. 2 0 0 0 m steeplechase (men) a n d held b r e a k a n d G a r m s d r i l l e d the b a l l h o m e events such as shot, j a v e l i n , h i g h j u m p a n d from the widest of angles. T h u s a shocked l o n g j u m p . Coaches w i l l he p r o v i d e d for I m p e r i a l side went into the second hall travel to a n d from M o t s p u r P a r k . W a t c h the p u t t i n g he o p p o s i t i o n u n d e r r e m a r k a b l e sports page lor further details. pressure. T h e n an entirely u n p r o v o k e d incident between F r a n k l i n a n d the centre f o r w a r d saw the latter receiving a ye l l ow c a r d a n d w i t h i n a m i n u t e I m p e r i a l were 1-3 d o w n .

W i t h St Thomas a n d I m p e r i a l both t h i n k i n g the g a m e was over, Bateson proceeded to score 2 spectacular goals. St T h o m a s pressed h a r d for the r e m a i n d e r of the second h a l f but the defence c o p e d w e l l w i t h D r i v e r s six iron T h e T h i r d s feasted o n the vi s u al delights of c l i p shots a n d R . D o d d s runs. the gorgeous ladies' hockey team for almost

Football

Thirds

including demonstration MARTINS. Monday 15th, February

Page 10

TAYLOR 7:30pm Mech Eng 220

t w o hours! T h i s aesthetic dispaly inspired us to decide that o n ly ten men were needed to stitch up second-placed Q M C II. T h i s strategy w o r k ed well with D a v e H a r d y s m a s h i n g an early goal into the roof of their n e t , a n d as w e c o n t i n u e d t o a t t a c k purposefully he twice nearly scored a g a i n .

T h e g a m e was b e c o m i n g a s t r o l l so we d e c i d e d D a v e w o u l d have to be taken off. A Q M C defender d u l y o b l i g e d w i t h a tackle from b e h i n d saving us the bother. E v e n w i t h nine m e n the m a t c h was too one-sided so K e v T e a h a n was g i v e n the easiest of tap-ins past D u n c a n Brown (their forwards being i n c a p a b l e of scoring). N e i l R e d m a y n e then smashed the most delicate of t h r o u g h balls past t h e i r hopelessly split defence, a l l o w i n g N i c k F l a n n a g a n to take the b a l l in his stride a n d score w i t h a searing left-footer from w e l l outside the box. I n the true spirit of I C fair p l a y we a l l o w e d Q M C to equalise w i t h the llukiest of headers—after a l l it w o u l d have been t e r r i b l y rude l o beat o u r hosts w i t h o n l y nine men.

T e a m : D. Broun, (',. Herns, , V. Redmayne, M. Powell, A'. Teahan, D. Hardy* M. Higham, S. Lister, 1. Archer, .V. Flanagan.

FELIX, February 12, 1982

T h e first h a l f of e x t r a time saw St T h o m a s c o n t i n u i n g where they left oil w i t h both R i l e y a n d in the second half, C o a t e s w o r t h m a k i n g stops o n the line. B u t w i t h five minutes r e m a i n i n g , just as R i l e y was p o n d e r i n g o n the technicalities ol p - l l i c k t a k i n g , St T h o m a s scored.

T e a m : Slatter, Coatesworth, Riley, Parker, Bateson, Garms, Bell Ay res, Rao, Franklin, Cray.

Ladies C o n t i n u i n g o u r t r e m e n d o u s f o r m we c o m p l e t e d o u r t h i r d successive a n n i h i l a t i o n of the season. T h i s week o u r unfortunate opponents were Q M C who were either completely useless or s i m p l y stunned by o u r skill.

T h e fact that we o n l y h a d nine players a n d no goalie d i d little to deter us a n d good (lowing play throughout the team p r o d u c e d some excellent chances. W e c o u l d have h a d at least a dozen a n d p r o b a b l y w o u l d have done b u t for some fine saves f r o m t h e i r goalie a n d some slightly o i l target s h o o t i n g f r o m us ( p a r t i c u l a r l y t h e h a l v e s ) . O n e u n c h a r a c t e r i s t i c l a x m o m e n t f r o m the

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Rugby Seconds W i t h o u t collapsible c a p t a i n Sieve Hell, the 2 n d X V was once again u p lo lull strength, and alter the usual tedious transport problems, a r r i v e d a l the C i t y of L o n d o n Poytechnics ground somewhere near Istanbul.

S k i l f u l contortions in a ( h a n g i n g r o o m o n l y just b i g enough to hold G a r y Pike's attache case e n a b l e d the kick off to take placejust before sunset, a n d the team soon m a n a g e d to g a i n its sea legs o n a p i t c h that was about as smooth as M a t t S m i t h ' s skin.

T h e first h a l f d o w n h i l l w i t h the tide showed the usual m i x t u r e of the average, above average a n d p l a i n r i d i c u l o u s , but we scored a few a n d they d i d n ' t so there!

T h e h a l f - t i m e p e p talk lacked Hell-like c u r s i n g but P e r v ' s leg-zil e q u a l l e d E r i k a R o e entertainment standards.

Despite c o n t i n u e d h a l l h a n d l i n g problems (no. not that sort) a n d the ever increasing gradient, the second h a l f saw more tries I C ' s w a y , more agony G a r y ' s w a y , more punches Steve K i r b y ' s w a y a n d more desperate cries of "pass i t ! " M i l e s T h o m p s o n ' s w a y , l e a v i n g the final score at 29-0. Points were scored by O w e n ( N o d d y , the smallest poser i n T o y t o w n ) , M i l e s (2 tries). N i c B r u m m e l l (2 tries) a n d M a r k " D e a d E y e " H u d s o n (1 try.

1 p e n a l t y , 2 conversions).

A n d n o w for the report on the tube journey home (continued, M e t r o p o l i t a n Police Records).

T e a m : M. Thompson, O. Miles, X. Brummell, G. Pike, M. Winsor, M. Simmons, A. Chalklen, C. Cole, S.Kirhy, T. Carr, J. Cotton, E. O'Connor, A. Ralph, M. Hudson. M. Smith.

Football

Polo Q Sailing

I C W a t e r P o l o C l u b coasted to a n easy w i n against St M a r y ' s H o s p i t a l i n t h e i r second L o n d o n U n i v e r s i t y L e a g u e game.

M o s t o f o u r effort went into the first t w o quarters, w h e n some aggressive play from C a s i n i (3 goals) a n d H e f f e r n a n (1 goal), a n d some good saves by B u r n e t t i n goal, gave us a c o m m a n d i n g lead. T h e last two quarters saw some mindless p l a y , n o t a b l y from L a s t a n d L e a c h , who each missed easy goals, a n d from B u r n e t t , w h o w a t c h e d in fascination as a shot from the h a l f - w a y line sailed past h i m into the back o f the net. H o w e v e r , a goal from A s h w i n i n the last q u a r t e r took us to a respectable 5-1 result.

H i there readers! I n c r e d i b l y the team got it together this week a n d w o n . Shock! H o r r o r ! ( O u r shock, their h o r r o r ! ) . It's a m a z i n g h o w m u c h faster ' a n d d r i e r , i l c a n be if you keep the boat the right way up ' h a v e to try it more often, e h . G r a h a m , , ! W e d i d n ' t even break a n y b o a t s w h i c h w a s n o m i n o r feet c o n s i d e r i n g last week's orgy o f destruction.

In the first race G r a h a m a n d R i c h a r d m ^ p a n excellent start from a h e a v i l y port biased line a n d lead posed, a l l the w a y r o u n d . T w o e n e m y boats, u n d e r pressure from Pat a n d M i k e , c o l l i d e d at the w i n d w a r d m a r k a n d one of these capsized five minutes later r o u n d i n g the w i n g m a r k . J u l i a n a n d T e a m : Ashwin (CaptJ. Burnett (Keeper), J i m showed great p o t e n t i a l i n a dra<*n out Casini, Dibden, Edwards. Gartun, Heffernan, r e a r g u a r d a c t i o n against the last S u r r e y boat.

Last, Leach, Rodgers. ^"he second race started w i t h S u r r e y ' s c a p t a i n w a t c h i n g from a g r a n d s t a n d seat o n his u p t u r n e d boat. H e h a d opted for a L c M a n s s t a r t b u t , at t h e c r u c i a l m o m e n t , discovered that his w a l k i n g o n w a t e r act needed a little more practise. K e n n e d y a n d B i l l B r a d b u r y , our sculler, m a n a g e d to w a l k M i l l s h a d a great time l a y i n g into one of the away with the S e n i o r C P l a g u e c o m i n g opposition's boats, a n d k n o c k e d it d o w n l o second o v e r a l l i n the s c u l l i n g c o m p e t i t i o n . third. M e a n w h i l e J u l i a n and J i mh a d T h e N o v i c e V I I I beat plenty o l impressive rejoined battle w i t h ' C r u s h e d C a n a r y ' a n d opposition losing only to a crew that h a d finished their o w n vendetta o n top. been r o w i n g for at least a year longer.

W e finished 1, 2; 4 i n b o t h races to w i n I he T h e W o m e n s I V d e c i m a t e d a l l t h e m a t c h 2-0 ( 1 3 7 , p t s - 3 0 p t s ) . o ppo s i ti o n that the country c o u l d offer a n d T e a m : G. Kennedy and R. Tostavin, P. Mill-, m a n a g e d to beat a l l the d o u b l e sculls as w e l l . and M. Younghusband, J. Bennett and J. Redman.

T h e senior C magic I V was r o b b e d o f c e r t a i n v i c t o r y , despite a new go-faster coat of paint, when it had its r u d d e r r i p p e d out by a submerged rock at the start.

Q u i t e a successful day i n high cross w i n d s a n d sunshine.

S e n i o r C I V : .1. Haines, V. Wtitkins. J. Goodall, P. McDowall Hook. Cox: Sue Bowen. \\ omens I V : '/. Park, 1). turner. A. Ball, J. " W h a t d o you make o f it H o l m e s ? " Dickson. Cox: D. Harrell. " D i f f i c u l t to say o l d c h a p , a l l those lads .\nviie V I I I : A'. Ana, P. Mc.Yamara, I. I.aniplough. h a n g i n g that white t h i n g about, they must be I', (iamhin, I). Cliinltr. M. li/iperlain, A. Bmhingci. m a k i n g themselves rather t i r e d . " ft. I.mm. (.n\: C. Scott. " F a s c i n a t i n g . I really d o n ' t k n o w h o w y o u

Rowing

ft Hockey Seconds

do it H o l m e s . Some sort o f p u n i s h m e n t d o you t h i n k ? " " A distinct possibility W a t s o n , that y o u n g lady o n the sideline is c e r t a i n l y s c r e a m i n g q u i t e a lot. In fact, I w o u l d go as far as to say I see too, you see n i l . that w e have a d o u r m i d l i e l d struggle on o u r H a v i n g defeated T o t t e n h a m earlier i n the W h a t they said: hands h e r e . " season the I C team m a d e their w a y to N o r t h Steve V : I ' m quite pleased w i t h m y ^ ' A b s o l u t e l y a m a z i n g . A n y t h i n g we c a n d o L o n d o n confident o f w i n n i n g this v i t a l top o f progress. about i t ? " the table clash.

N o t even the b r i c k w h i c h J o h n : D o we gerra tea? " I ' m a f r a i d n o t , a l t h o u g h that S i m o n came H y i n g t h r o u g h the w i n d o w was going to J i m : N o w come o n chaps, let's really get W i t t e r c h a p p i e is p l a y i n g very w e l l , he m a y stop t h e m . S o despite h a v i n g a previously stuck i n . be able to d o s o m e t h i n g . " u n t r i e d penetration system, I C built u p a C a p t a i n R o n a l d W i l l i a m W i g g i n s (rtd): w i n n i n g lead in the first set o n l y to f i n a l l y let " H o w right y o u are H o l m e s . T e l l me, d o A v g o r ra go ta L i v e r p o o l , wack. it slip 13-15. A s a result it was decided to those chaps i n between the w h i t e posts ever M a r t i n A : mumboawnorefitwasntmeionly simplify things a little w h i c h resulted i n join in.'' T h e y look d a m n cold to m e . " kickedim jumbo.

I m p e r i a l r a v i n g away to take the set 15-4. 'â&#x20AC;˘"Occasionally W a t s o n , see one o f t h e m is D y c k v a n d e r V e e n m a n : W e c a n be T h e t h i r d set proved to be a real cliff-hanger* b r i n g i n g u p the half-time refreshments, in a H o l l a n d i n these nice orange shirts. but I C h u n g on to take it 15-12, a n d w i t h it |i couple o f minutes t h e y ' l l start a g a i n . " R . Paisley ( L / p o o l M a n a g e r ) : It's easier to T o t t e n h a m ' s hopes o f w i n n i n g as after this " M a r v e l l o u s H o l m e s . D o you think w e ' l l w i n the E u r o p e a n C u p t h a n combat football the T o t t e n h a m team just c r u m b l e d l e a v i n g see any i m p r o v e m e n t ? " like that ( L / p o o l v Barnsley 1982).

I m p e r i a l to take the final set 15-4. I C ' s " I w o u l d very m u c h doubt it, a l t h o u g h K . W o l s t c n h o l m c : T h e r e are people on the v i c t o r y over their nearest rivals was very well t h a t S i m o n G r a y is o b v i o u s l y t r y i n g to p i t c h ! T h e y t h i n k it's a l l over! It is n o w ! d e s e r v e d c o n s i d e r i n g it was a c h i e v e d i n change the game to fisticuffs."

(1966 W o r l d C u p F i n a l ) difficult conditions (the back o f the court was ? " W o n d e r f u l H o l m e s , a n y t h i n g to relieve W h e n F l a n g a n g a n came o n a n d scored it o n l y a couple o f inches from the g y m w a l l the b o r e d o m . " was a d r e a m . T h e n H r a t l n a d striked a n d U C which made serving i n particular very " I say W a t s o n , I d o believe I've discovered was deed a n d b u r e i d . ( T h e Sun) difficult for players not used to such c r a m p e d a cure for i n s o m n i a ! " Team: I 'eats. Burns, Curran, Beer, Griffiths, conditions) a n d now gives them an excellent T e a m : C. 'Jones, C. Bird, P. Sharpe. M. Armstrong, Saunders, Wiggins, Rimmer, Hart land chance o f w i n n i n g the league.

Pilkelhley, J. Rhodes. A. Slnomer, S. Gray, S. Veenman (sub Tlannagan (1), Linesman: (I), Witter, . V. Farmer; G. Wylie, B. Shindlei. I'mpire T e a m : Peter I I . , Andy, Peter R., Man, Peter Chown (1).

Rohyn Ming/in.

D-L, Paul.

R i m m e r : It's Q M C I I I i n the l i n a l .

Seconds

Volleyball

FELIX, February

12, 1982

Page 11

Accommodation for next year T e c h n i c a l problems have o n c e m o r e reared their ugly head, but 1 think that F E L I X should have reached y o u o n time.

H o w e v e r , this week an eight page supplement o n C o l l e g e a c c o m m o d a t i o n w h i c h w a s to have been included has h a d to be d r o p p e d until next week. A l l the a r t w o r k is ready a n d waiting, but because the offset-litho machine b r o k e d o w n o n W e d n e s d a y there has just not been time to print it.

T h i s supplement will be included next week a n d (for those really k e e n to find out about Halls, H o u s e s , etc., for next year) s o m e copies will be available in the Student S e r v i c e s Offices from T u e s d a y o n w a r d s .

•

Saturday,

February

13

• C r o s s Country club—Southern Counties Championships at Parliament Hill Fields. Note: important event.

Sunday,

February

14

•Chaplaincy communion service, 10:00am, Consort Gallery.

•Wargames club meeting, 1:00pm, Union SCR.

Monday,

February

15

• H a n g - g l i d i n g c l u b m e e t i n g , 12:30pm, above Southside Bar. •Badgesoc meeting, 12:45pm, lounge above Southside Bar. • T M soc meeting, 5:30pm, Huxley 411. All meditators welcome. ....

•Railsoc talk by Mr Prigmore on 'Tramcar Technology of Yesteryear', 5:40pm, Maths 340. All welcome.

•Wellsoc proudly present by popular demand, the return of Wellsoc hypnotist, Martin S. Taylor, 7:30pm, ME220. Entry by membership.

•Dancing club advanced class, 7:39pm, JCR.

Tuesday,

February

• S T O I C b r o a d c a s t , 1:00pm, J C R , Southside T V L o u n g e , S o u t h s i d e , Beit, L i n s t e a d and W e e k s Halls. A review of plays in London: On the Razzle, Pay

Won't

Pay,

Anyone

for

•IC Amnesty group meeting, 5:30pm, Green Comm' Rm (top floor. Union Building).

•Wine-tasting society tasting a selection of wines from Alsace, 6:00pm, Union SCR. • M e t & Mat society evening lecture 'The Development of the Loudspeaker' byMrR.E. Cooke(KEF Electronics Ltd), 6:00pm, RSM G20.

• S o c i a l i s t s o c i e t y meeting: debate on abortion between Women for Life and National Abortion Campaign, 6:30pm, Green Comm Rm. •Astrosoc lecture, Dr Enge! speaking on 'Astronomy from High Altitude Balloons', 6:30pm, Physics LT2. Free to members.

•Deputy President of the Union, Barney M c C a b e , will expalin the mysteries of Intel's Analogue processing chip (the 8022), 7:00pm, Huxley L T 145. Organised by IC Micro Club.

Wednesday,

February

17

•Wargames club meeting, 1:00pm, Union SCR. •Astrosoc observing meeting, 3:30pm, 'Waveguide', Physics Building (level 1).

• J £ trampoline society meeting, 5:30pm, Courtauld "H&TI, Q E C , Campden Hill Rd. •Environmental society presents Lord Melchett and an N F U representative discussing ' C o u n t r y s i d e Conservation: Conflict or Co-operation', 6:00pm, 213 Huxley. To be followed by wine and cheese reception in 48 Princes Gardens. Members 50p, non-members £ 1 .

•Dancing club intermediate class, 7:30pm, JCR.

W o d g e w a s invited to a wine a n d cheese party in the maths faculty last w e e k , which was attended by the usual mixture of pure a n d applied mathematicians. F o r those w h o are new to this c o l u m n , I s h o u l d point out that pure mathematicians are perfectly truthful, whereas applied mathematicians invariably lie, and W o d g e a m u s e d himself by letting each of the ten people present m a k e one statement about the o t h e r s , a n d then w o r k i n g out w h o belonged t o w h i c h department.

L e n was the first to talk to W o d g e . "If the head of departmen t is a p p l i e d , " he said " t h e n M i c h a e l is p u r e , but N i c k is a p p l i e d . " " O n the o t h e r h a n d , " p u t i n O l i v e r , " t h e h e a d of department is pure if and only if Peter is applied a n d Q u e n t i n is p u r e . " " D i d I hear y o u m e n t i o n P e t e r ? " a s k e d R i c h a r d . "If he a n d I are b o t h applied then M i c h a e l isn't, but if either of us isn't, then he i s . " "If y o u want to k n o w about M i c h a e l , I'd have a few w o r d s with S t e p h e n , " said N i c k . " Y o u c a n believe at least one of t h e m . " " D i d I h e a r y o u m e n t i o n S t e p h e n ? " a s k e d Q u e n t i n . " H e ' s friendly with L e n a n d O l i v e r , a n d at least one of the three is a p p l i e d . " " H o w c a n y o u mistrust O l i v e r ? " e x c l a i m e d M i c h a e l . " H e ' s as truthful as I a m ! " "If I'm a pure m a t h e m a t i c i a n , " said T o n y , " t h e n S t e p h e n , L e n a n d t h e h e a d of department are not all a p p l i e d . " " H a v i n g t r o u b l e ? " a s k e d Peter helpfully. "If in d o u b t , guess pure, since over half of us are t r u t h f u l . " " O n the c o n t r a r y , " said S t e p h e n . " O v e r half of us are untruthful."

H a v i n g elicited o n e statement each from nine of the ten present, W o d g e went over to talk to the head of the department. Unfortunately he was rather the w o r s e for wine, a n d W o d g e couldn't get anything c o h e r e n t out of h i m at all. N o t that it m a t t e r e d , of c o u r s e , since he h a d already d e d u c e d that w h o is what?

Solutions, comments, criticisms to me at the FELIX Office please. There is a prize of £5 (donated

by Mend-a-Bike) for the correct solution randomly selected at 1:00pm on Wednesday.

Last

Week's

Solution

16

• B o a r d s a i l i n g c l u b meeting, 12:30 and 6:15pm, Southside Upper Lounge.

•Catholic mass and lunch, 12:30pm, Chem 231.

Nominal charge for lunch.

• L a b o u r club meeting, 1:00pm, Elec Eng 1207.

Can't

Welfare Week I hope y o u all turn up to the events organised for next week (see centre pages). I'm glad N i c k P y n e , I C U Welfare Officer, has c h o s e n a fairly light hearted a p p r o a c h (just read s o m e of the articles!) a n d I think Welfare W e e k c o u l d be very entertaining as well as informative.

M i n d y o u I'm getting a bit tired of all these " w e e k s " . I think people w h o organise events s h o u l d try to avoid packaging a few r a n d o m lectures together and labelling them S i l l y t w a t s w h o g e t r i g h t u p m y n o s e W e e k or whatever. T h e only effect of d o i n g s o is to d r a w attention away f r o m their o w n a n d other (possibly m o r e general a n d important) c a u s e s like student welfare.

Credits A special thank y o u to S i d Stevens of M i s t r a l Print for his technical advice.

F u r t h e r a c c o l a d e s for my regular c r e w : S t e v e , S o h e e l , R a m z i , C a r o l i n e , Peter, M a r t i n S., Pallab, Lesley, J o n , J e z , M o a n d all the collators, M a z a n d Ian. If y o u are reading this o n F r i d a y m o r n i n g there is a g o o d c h a n c e that most of the a b o v e people stayed up until very late this m o r n i n g to get it to y o u .

Finally a t h a n k - y o u to N i c k P y n e for helping s o m u c h o n his welfare s pr e ad a n d to E r i c Jarvis for pasting up the College A c c o m m o d a tion G u i d e ( w h i c h u n f o r tu n ate ly will not appear until next w e e k ) .

Dennis,

Pass

the

Butler, Arms and the Man, followed by Top Ten record charts.

• M o p s o c lecture 'How real is the de brogle wave' by dr L. Mackinnon from the University of Essex, 1:10pm, Physics LT2 (level 1). Free to members, non-members lOp (membership 60p).

•Department of Humanities presents: 1. Films: The Private Life of the Fox; The Private Life of the Cuckoo, 1:15pm, Read Theatre, Sherfield.

2. The Origins of Astronomy Pt 1: Babylonian and Egyptian Astronomy, 1:30pm, Dr M.A. Hoskin, Churchill College, Cambridge, 1:30pm, Pippard Theatre, Sherfield. Arranged by IC Hellenic Society.

Thursday,

February

18

•Postgraduate group ploughman's lunch, 12:30pm, Union Concert Hall, £1.00. Tickets availble from Union Office.

•Scout & Guide club photography talk, 12:30pm, Mines 303. Regular Thursday meeting.

•Christian Science group meeting, 1:00pm, Seminar Room, Level 2S, Botany.

•Lecture on High Power Lasers, 1:00pm, EE508.

Free.

• S T O I C Newsbreak, 1:00 and 6:00pm. usual places, see Tuesday.

• I C C N D presents Frank Allaun MP 'The Labour Party and Disarmament', 1:00pm, Maths 213.

•Department of Humanities presents: 1. Film: The World at War (Thames TV) Pt 15: The Reckoning, 1:15pm, Great Hall.

2. Lunch-hour Concert Erika Klemperer (violin) and Alan Porter (piano), 1:30pm, Music Room, 53 Princes Gate.

•Gliding club meeting, 5:30pm, Aero 254.

•IC Christian Union A G M , 6:30pm, Huxley 340. It is vital that all members attend for the meeting to be valid.

S e v e n triangles o r six neighbours, a c c o r d i n g to taste. T h e r e must be a line from the obtuse angle, dividing it into t w o . A n d the line cannot continue straight through to the long side, o r else another obtuse-angled triangle is formed, a n d y o u have to start again. S o there must be a n internal n o d e , a n d there must be at least five lines leading from it, o r else one of them must b e greater than or equal to a right angle.

C h r i s B r a n n i c k , M a t h s 1, was selected from the eleven w h o got it right.

T w o w e e k s ago y o u c l a m o u r e d for something difficult; see what y o u m a k e of this w e e k ' s. G o o d luck!

FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB (589-5111 ext 1048 int 2881) Copyright FELIX

1982. Editor: M A Smith, Advertising Manager: S M Giblin.