/1999_1159_A

e 29 November 1999: issue 1159

Prepare yourself for an intense emotional ride with Anna Weiss oocp 24 '

No consultation on Charing Cross loss MANSOOR

CHOUDHURY

c o n s u l t a t i o n w a s s h o c k i n g . To this e n d , a petition has b e e n o r g a n i s e d

T h e l i b r a r y in t h e R e y n o l d s B u i l d i n g

to m a k e the Imperial C o l l e g e Steer-

at C h a r i n g C r o s s is t o b e m o v e d t o

ing

m a k e w a y for the C e n t r e for D r u g

u n h a p p i n e s s with t h e c u r r e n t p l a n s .

Committee

aware

of

this

and Health Behaviour, which

faces

' A c c o r d i n g t o Peter G r i f f i t h s the

eviction

lease

D e p u t y S e c r e t a r y of I C S M , t h e r e will

when

its c u r r e n t

b e a n o p e n m e e t i n g a t 5 p m o n the

expires.

The

library,

which

30th

currently

of November

in t h e D r e w e

o c c u p i e s the t o p two floors o f the

Lecture Theatre , at C h a r i n g C r o s s .

building,

All students a r e invited t o discuss

level

is t o b e m o v e d

a n d refurbished.

down

a

the project.

T h e third

Mr

f l o o r will h o u s e the C e n t r e f o r D r u g and

Health

Behaviour,

two

General

Care

a s we'll a s

PhotorDavid Roberts

The library building

was

departments,

w h i c h a r e m o v i n g f r o m St M a r y ' s

October.

and Westminster hospitals.

Tasha

The major bone of contention

T h e President

Newton,

said

of

ICU,

s h e w a s in

" c o m p l e t e d e s p a i r " o v e r the

situa-

library. C o n c e r n s w e r e r a i s e d

over

Griffiths

very

which

pleased

would

loss o f r e s o u r c e s , the s t u d e n t c o m -

departments

mon room, gym and games

location.

room

o u t that

pointed

H a m m e r s m i t h , t h e l o c a l N H S Trust,

already

with

place

the move

a n u m b e r of

into a g o o d ,

central

T h e 1 4 1 study

places

present

would

b e safe-

with t h e m o v e is that a l t h o u g h d i s -

t i o n as t h e r e h a d b e e n n o c o n s u l t a -

w o u l d be affected. M s N e w t o n said

cu s s i ons started in M a y , the

Char-

t i o n b e t w e e n t h o s e i n c h a r g e of t h e

that s h e u n d e r s t o o d that t h e l i b r a r y

g u a r d e d It is v e r y u n l i k e l y t h a t a n y

Committee

project a n d t h e students b a s e d at

would

work

C h a r i n g C r o s s w h o a c t u a l l y use t h e

needed,

ing C r o s s Library Users allegedly only learned

about

it i n

get the refurbishment

it

b u t felt that t h e l a c k o f

will b e d o n e

o n the library

until after t h e f i n a l s i n J u n e .

Guilds pull in the freshers and pile on the profits SUNIL R A O

people event,

Atlantis,

the City

Freshers' Friday,

Dinner,

a n d Guilds

took

19 November,

pronounced

a success

success

for

the C G C U

blackjack

tables, a disco and a mini-cinema

mascots,

Spanner a n d

not to mention

antique

the

car, Boanerges,

wipe out the w e l l - p u b l i c i s e d loss-

1 9 0 2 es t h e U n i o n h a d s u f f e r e d which

earlier

this t e r m . N o t a b l e f a i l u r e s o f t h e

had been enterprisingly driven o n

"Star W a r z D i s c o " a n d the "Raiders

to the Q u e e n s ' L a w n . T h e a l c o h o l

w e r e t h e Lost Bus" e v e n t s ,

by nearly

the S e n i o r C o m m o n

R o o m (SCR)

in t h e S h e r f i e l d B u i l d i n g . should

Bolt,

s c r e e n i n g " T h e M a t r i x " . A l l o f this

all that a t t e n d e d .

This

tickets

included

w a s took place within theconfines of

place o n and

bought which

The

help to

evening

kicked

o f f with

flowed

freely

all evening,

with

d i d not l o s e a lot o f c a s h

over three-quarters of a bottle of

lose credibility for Dinesh

wine per student - a small n u m b e r

sarajah.

Gane-

g r a c e f r o m Prof B r i a n B r i s c o e , the

of i n e b r i a t e d freshers

D e a n of City and G u i l d s C o l l e g e .

carried

s u c c e s s f u l events e a r l i e r this t e r m

The three-course meal was

e v e n t s o f this k i n d .

(see F e l i x 1 1 5 7 ) , a n d w i l l e a s e t h e

tuated

adverse

of the G u i l d s s o n g , the

Boomala-

a n d f i n a n c i a l l y a s u c c e s s , with M r

greater than

ka,

President,

Ganesarajah

with o v e r a q u a r t e r o f the freshers

negate which

much

of t h e b a d press

surrounded

pressure which has

mounting Dinesh Over

Guilds

on C&G's

less

been

President,

Ganesarajah. two hundred

by a vociferous

l e d by t h e G u i l d s

rendition

a n d the attention o f all w h o and

ten gathered

punc-

were

w a s soon raised to the

The

healthy certainly

h a dto be

which but di d

o u t , a s is u s u a l

event

profit more

w a s both

confirming h a d been than

with

socially

that

a

made,

sufficient to

W h i l e Atlantis did not officially s e l l o u t , t h e t u r n o u t w a s than

has been

few

years,

seen

a n d w a s certainly h a d been

f r o m the E n g i n e e r i n g attending.

greater

in t h e past

expected,

departments

2

x

s

I Po rti 11 o promises sovereignty forever

e

DAVID ROBERTS

s t r o n g b u s i n e s s links with the C o n t i n e n t a r e vital t o t h e su rv iv al of British

Michael

Portillo,

Secretary

;

Defence

a n d , in a l l probability

Westminster's

•

former

newest M P c a m e t o

Indeed,

speech was argued

his

n o m i c a n d monetarist point of view, ignoring the vehement

give

sionally

a talk t o I C U ' s

Conservative

pered

H e spoke to a r e a s o n a b l e crowd g a t h e r e d in t h e U n i o n C o n c e r t H a l l h a d all been

(who

subjected to a

entire

from a n e c o -

C o l l e g e o n Friday 1 9 N o v e m b e r t o

Society.

! • • • : : • • • .

companies.

racist)

(and o c c a -

rhetoric

his every

that

pep-

appearance

five

years a g o - most notably, he n o w a d o p t s his S p a n i s h r o o t s (his f a t h e r was a Spanish fisherman) as a major

security c h e c k b e f o r e b e i n g a l l o w e d

plus p o i n t , rather t h a n a p o l o g i s i n g

to t a k e their seats) o n t h e subject o f

f o r t h e m a s he o n c e d i d .

Europea n integration a n d monetary

Sadly, a s Felix w e n t t o p r e s s , t h e

u n i o n , in a f a s h i o n that s u g g e s t e d

result o f T h u r s d a y ' s b y - e l e c t i o n w a s

that h e m a y h a v e m o d e r a t e d since

still u n k n o w n . H o w e v e r , with t h e s e a t

his m o s t o u t s p o k e n d a y s in t h e C a b -

a l r e a d y o n e o f t h e safest Ton/ c o n -

Chelsea

inet. A l t h o u g h h e still lectures v o c i f -

stituencies in t h e country, it is a l m o s t

NHLI,

Photo:Archive (an a r e a

Charing

which

Cross

includes

a n d Evelyn

erously against any further integra-

certain

t i o n o r u n i o n , he n o w a d o p t s a m o r e

been elected as the n e w m e m b e r of

by t h e t i m e y o u r e a d this. Full results

conciliatory

parliament

will a p p e a r next w e e k .

stance,

accepting

that

M r Portillo

that

for

will

have

Kensington

&

G a r d e n s , but not the m a i n campus)

In Brief WYE

MERGER

SOCIAL SELECTION

A n w a r Ibrahim.

With

I m p e r i a l is t o m e r g e w i t h W y e C o l -

Figures

l e g e i n e a r l y A u g u s t n e x t year. T h e

H i g h e r E d u c a t i o n Statistics A g e n c y have

chances of e m p l o y m e n t are largely

Rector,

a n d will

eri p UQ n v

;I

lence.

Levels, a g e ,

gender, social class,

backgrounds

onto

power, the students have bee n c o n s p i c u o u s in t h e i r a b s e n c e . In c o n trast t o t h e i r

Indonesian

counter-

parts, w h o f o r m e d t h e m s e l v e s into a y o u t h o r g a n i s a t i o n that b e c a m e a for

change,

with W y e C o l l e g e U n i o n t o discuss

4 . 4 % of graduates from U K univer-

Malaysian

students

have

recog-

posed

by D r

the

merger

a student

from

per-

nised

sities w e r e u n e m p l o y e d .

the threat

the

M a h a t i r w h o has slowly m o u l d e d a

s p e c t i v e . It e m e r g e d that t h e m a j o r

With

e f f e c t s w i l l b e felt a t W y e . T h e C o l -

Brookes

graduate

p o l i c e d state o u t o f t h e d e m o c r a c y

l e g e will h a v e a l a r g e r

u n e m p l o y m e n t rates b e l o w 2 % , t h e

t h a t w a s f o r m e d o n its i n d e p e n d -

city

ence from Britain.

Wye's

students

Ms. Newton

percentage

will

number

take

their

is p r e s e n t l y g e a r -

tution t o a l l o w f o r the n e w C o l l e g e have

plan

a seat

on Council. The

is t o i n t r o d u c e

them

Oxford

and

registering

of Oxford

employment employment.

ing u p t o revise the U n i o n c o n s t i -

to

came

stakes

Oxford

t o p in

the

for graduate

T h e significance of

The

student's f e a r stems

from

the U n i v e r s i t i e s a n d C o l l e g e s A c t ,

the U n i v e r s i t y s e c t o r w a s s u r p r i s i n g -

which bans the country's

ly l o w - f o r i n s t a n c e f o u r

former

s t u d e n t s f r o m b e c o m i n g i n v o l v e d in

polytechnics

unem-

scored

lower

ployment figures than C a m b r i d g e .

T h e s u b j e c t s t u d i e d at U n i v e r s i -

as a

130,000

politics. T h o s e w h o b r e a c h the A c t face

expulsion,

and

p r o b a b l y a life o f u n e m p l o y -

record

ty w a s h i g h l i g h t e d a s a d e t e r m i n i n g

a r r a n g e m e n t s i m i l a r t o that o f S i l -

factor

wood

technical a n d science subjects were

e x p e l l e d f r o m University in the past

identified

five y e a r s .

Park. is a r e n o w n e d a g r i c u l t u r -

a l c o l l e g e . In 1 9 0 0 it b e c a m e of

t h e University

of

part

by t h e s t u d y ; t h o s e

as being

taking

particularly

ment.

a criminal

C l u b a n d Society Committee in a n

Wye

The consequences

attractive in t h e j o b m a r k e t .

LT C A R D S

a l t h o u g h l o c a t e d in t h e Kent c o u n -

MEEK MALAYS S T U D E N T

C o l l e g e ' s s u r r o u n d i n g s a r e very different located should scope

to that

of the centrally

Imperial, bring

a

a n d therefore wider

t o t h e type

clearly

work - only 2 0 students have been

London,

tryside, s o m e 6 0 miles away. T h e

blisl u n a

election

to cling

figurehead

courses at South Kensington.

Anothei w e e ! , another

general

a n d subjects studied. O n a v e r a g e

of

U, P a n d G , a n d I h e n u m b e r 1 2 .

graduates

A

affected

by t h e i r

a

today's

h i m trying

seeing

President N a t a s h a N e w t o n met

of girls a n d a s i g n i f i c a n t

d e n s e d into i w o p a g e s / P e r f e c t .

that

by the

project has h a d direct contribution Imperial's

revealed

released

from

join two l e a d i n g centres o f excelM e t a l l i c d , Bryan A d a m s a n d Karl j

recently

range of

of study

I m p e r i a l c a n c u r r e n t l y offer.

that

Distributing L o n d o n Transport cards The

recent

prime

minister

Mohamad endeared

exploits of M a l a y s i a ' s

have

Dr

Mahathir

certainly

not

h i m t o his e l e c t o r a t e .

M a n y w e r e a p p a l e d by his j a i l i n g o f

through the U n i o n has proved to b e a

great

4019, largest

success.

They

representing

percentage-wise

rates in L o n d o n

have

sold

o n e of the take-up

s

9

3

Anxious asbestos alarm Ethnic elite disappoint with constant monitoring of air quality in place to guard against A large section of the student pop- there being any kind of leakage ulace will have noticed last week's while the asbestos is being removed. The work was not restricted level of service from the Main Dining Hall (MDH) on the expected to be on a large scale at all. In fact, the original estimate ground floor of Sherfield. for the completion of the necesThis was due to the detection of a small quantity of asbestos in sary removal work was just one the lagging for two or three pipes week. The majority of the time was in the back of the Sherfield Build- expected to be taken up by the actual setting up and' taking down ing, found during the preparatory work being carried out for the of the required safety-related structures and equipment, which Senior Common Room (SCR) ensure that none of the dangerous redevelopment on the floor above. This in turn has caused the fibres escape detection.

Felix were unable to contact sealing-off and closure of part of Edward Lilley, the Catering Manthe College kitchens while the ager, before going to press. Howasbestos is removed.

Due to the health risks associ- ever, we have been reliably ated with asbestos, all the neces- informed that the problem is well under control, and the Main Dinsary precautions have been taken to ensure there is no contamina- ing Hall should be back up and running at its full levels of service tion of food whatsoever. The affected contaminated areas have very shortly, quite possibly by the been professionally sealed off, time this issue is published.

SUNIL R A O

SUNIL R A O Research being carried out at Goldsmith's College suggests that the racial or ethnic origin of a student at Cambridge often has an effect on the class of degree that student finally ends up with.

A study that has examined degree results for the years of 1997 and 1998 has revealed what many have long suspected there is a statistically significant relationship between the ethnic background of a student and the class of degree the student finally ends up with.

The picture isn't all negative the study shows that while only 2 7 % of Indians who apply to Cambridge actually get in, 2 4 % of those that do walk away with a first, as opposed to the 2 1 % of white undergraduates that do.

However, only one black student out of the 32 surveyed gained a

first at Cambridge, and with just six blacks getting a 2:1 or better (as opposed to 8 0 % of all white students), the figures illustrate quite clearly how ethnicity is associated with academic inequality at Cambridge. Moreover, almost a sixth of all black students there get a third, whereas just one Chinese student surveyed (out of 56) obtained a third in the past two years. The survey clearly has weaknesses in the numbers surveyed, but the results are still significant.The research is still ongoing and is part of an effort to ensure equality at the university.

Encouragingly, 1 999 shows a doubling in the number of black applicants accepted at the university.

Government policy dictates that all British universities must take immediate steps to combat institutional racism wherever it is identified.

Computer Shop Level 4 Mechanical Engineering Building . m s s

.QC

Ream o f A 4 Paper ONLY

R

0 e

g

x

Wye College DAVID ROBERTS

A b o v e a l l , h o w e v e r , it's W y e ' s r e p utation f o r c r o p a n d G M research

Imperial

College's seemingly

end-

less q u e s t f o r e x p a n s i o n w i l l

take

Imperial, a n d d r a w n the long-lost

another

next

C o l l e g e b a c k into the limelight.

major

step

forward

that h a s most attracted the h a n d of

summer, when a massive n e w c a m -

?

pus is a d d e d t o t h e C o l l e g e . W y e C o l l e g e will a d d s e v e r a l n e w d i s c i plines, almost 1 0 0 0 students, a n d

A s o f A u g u s t 1 st next year, W y e w i l l

several h u n d r e d acres of f a r m l a n d

b e c o m e a part of Imperial

to t h e C o l l e g e , a l o n g w i t h t h e title

( a n d it's s t u d e n t s will b e c o m e m e m -

of "third oldest e d u c a t i o n a l

institu-

bers of Imperial

College

C o l l e g e Union) -

t i o n in t h e U K " (the f o u n d a t i o n s o f

s o w h a t differences will w e n o t i c e ?

Wye

Well, to begin with, probably none.

w e r e l a i d in t h e m i d - f i f t e e n t h

century).

So,

Wye what's

going

on? Where,

in K e n t

students will r e m a i n

a n d I m p e r i a l s t u d e n t s w i l l r e m a i n in

w h a t a n d w h o is W y e C o l l e g e , a n d

South

why

seemingly

s e e m t o b e a n y p l a n s t o m o v e bits

o b s c u r e outpost of the University of

of C o l l e g e d o w n t h e r e in t h e f o r e -

L o n d o n a b o u t to b e a d d e d to the

s eeabl e future. However,

IC

next c o u p l e o f y e a r s w e c a n e x p e c t

on

Earth

is t h i s

Empire?

K e n - there

certainly

don't

over the

to s e e a s l i g h t r e a l i g n m e n t o f c e r -

Where?

tain

departments,

a s they

merge

with their W y e counterparts, l e a d W y e C o l l e g e is t o b e f o u n d d e e p in

ing to the f o r m a t i o n of several "with

the h e a r t o f r u r a l K e n t , n o t f a r f r o m

a y e a r in W y e " c o u r s e s ( m o s t p r o b -

Ashford

a b l y in c e r t a i n B i o l o g i c a l d i s c i p l i n e s

and a

long

w a y off the

beaten track, having been f o u n d e d

a n d p e r h a p s elements o f the Huxley

in 1 4 4 7 by C a r d i n a l J o h n

School).

Kempe

Similarly,

the

remaining

(all c o u r s e s

Wye

m e r g e r w a s first a n n o u n c e d ,

o v e r l a p t h o s e a t I C s e e m set t o d i s -

the South

appear)

o n e essential).

for the m o m e n t .

Where next?

h u n d r e d p e r c e n t c e r t a i n that m e r g -

S o , c o n s i d e r i n g that o v e r t h e c o u r s e

ty f o r t h e h e a d s o f a l l o f t h e U n i v e r -

was

made

much

of A s h f o r d ' s role as a

major spur in the C h a n n e l project - w h e n the m u c h

Tunnel vaunted

courses

which

as a c o l l e g e f o r p r i e s t s . W h e n t h e

towards

will

probably

i n c l u d i n g spells

move in

Ken campus

may make

s e e m t o h a v e d i e d d o w n , a t least

South

K e n . A n d t h e n e t r e s u l t ? In a l l l i k e -

rail-link f i n a l l y c o m e s o n - l i n e , l a n d

l i h o o d , m o r e students o n the South

values a r o u n d A s h f o r d a r e likely t o

Ken campus....

it'

Nonetheless,

almost one-

ers w i l l c o n t i n u e t o b e a t o p p r i o r i -

rocket, as freight a n d h a u l a g e c e n -

The other e l e m e n t of the m e r g -

of t h r e e y e a r s t h e C o l l e g e w i l l h a v e

sity o f L o n d o n ' s m a j o r C o l l e g e s (IC,

tres b e c o m e t w o - a - p e n n y . T h e C o l -

e r (sadly t h e t e r m s " t a k e o v e r " a n d

g r o w n to the tune of a c o u p l e of

U C L , Q M W , K i n g s , LSE a n d R o y a l

l e g e ' s u l t i m a t e p l a n s f o r its c o p i o u s

"buyout"

thousand

g r o u n d s h a s still t o b e d e t e r m i n e d .

terms) is a n o r g a n i s a t i o n a l o n e . A s

c a m p u s e s (note that this list d o e s n ' t

the

i n c l u d e St M a r y ' s , w h o h a v e

Wye's

However,

academic

don't

medical

exist i n

mergers

academic

b r o u g h t the

students a n d f o u r

main

been

Holloway),

because

only

through

c o n t i n u e d e x p a n s i o n c a n these c o l leges g e n e r at e the impetus a n d the financing necessary to develop a n d

importance should not be underes-

rank of " p r i n c i p a l " to IC, the W y e

part of IC since 1 9 8 7 ) , w h e r e a r e

timated. A l t h o u g h largely

m e r g e r will i n t r o d u c e t h e c o n c e p t

we h e a d i n g ?

of " p r o v o s t s " , with t h e s e n i o r a c a -

cine a n d agriculture a s extra strings

f a c i l i t i e s - a n d n o w h e r e is this m o r e important

unheard

of a m o n g s t t h e g e n e r a l

populace

Having gained medi-

their

that

campuses

at

and

Imperial.

The

d e m i c at Imperial t o b e d e e m e d the

to o u r bow, what notable

w e l l ) , W y e is in f a c t o n e o f t h e f o r e -

Provost

remain

most centres f o r agricultural t e a c h -

t h a t this w i l l b e a s e p a r a t e r o l e t o

C o l l e g e c h a r t e r is strict o n t h e f a c t

shiny

that I m p e r i a l

joined by a s e c o n d w h e n the M D R B

(a

problem

all IC students

know

i n g a n d r e s e a r c h in t h e U K (the n e w

that

a g r i c u l t u r a l c o u r s e s will be a d d e d

dean

to t h e R o y a l S c h o o l o f M i n e s , a n d

Wye

may

(note

of d e p a r t m e n t o r

of a constituent c o l l e g e , as will b e neither). B e y o n d this,

(bearing

in m i n d that t h e

must r e m a i n scientif-

W e l l , if c a m p u s g o s s i p is t o b e

t h e e x a c t o r g a n i s a t i o n a l m a k e - u p is

believed, veterinary

still u n c l e a r , a n d w i l l d e p e n d o n t h e

next m a j o r

r e a c t i o n o f t h e first W y e s t u d e n t s I

exact f o r m a t o f the c o u r s e structure

Veterinary

School)

s p o k e to w a s that they f e a r e d the

quality

a n d worth

of

that their

that is e v e n t u a l l y a g r e e d . In U n i o n terms,

however,

a

semi-

goal.

target, College

However,

surrounding

science

is t h e

with t h e R o y a l a

suggested

with t h e p r o b l e m s medical

mergers

d e g r e e s w o u l d d i m i n i s h a s a result

a u t o n o m o u s W y e U n i o n (run a s a

across London a n d the controversy

of t h e m e r g e r .

sub-section of ICU) seems the most

accompanying

Wye research

also

has some

and teaching

decent

groups

in

plant a n d a n i m a l biology, countryside

management

obligatory)

study o f

a n d the (now management.

UCL's

continuing

likely o u t c o m e , with t h e q u e s t i o n o f

attempts to take

a s a b b a t i c a l W y e P r e s i d e n t still t o

c o l l e g e in t h e U n i v e r s i t y o f L o n d o n

be

( n o t e that W y e d o n ' t

( S O A S a n d S E E S S a r e presently at

h a v e a s a b b a t i c a l at p r e s e n t , b u t

t h e t o p o f t h e i r hit list), t h e d r i v i n g

the

forces behind the merger processes

debated

need for regular contact

with

over every

medical

merger

other

gave

new building

becomes

i c / t e c h n o l o g i c a l in o u t l o o k ) ?

a part of

Huxley

become

of a h e a d

at W y e

- i n d e e d the

the

eventually

of Imperial

absences

regenerate

merger

a

reality)

will

us a

(soon

nice

to be

a n d the W y e

undoubtedly

help

to

f i n a n c e t h e R S M r e d e v e l o p m e n t (as well

as

giving

impressive bridge-style

us

fifteenth quad

an

incredibly

century

Cam-

in Kent).

A s is

often pointed o u t , unlike O x b r i d g e (or m a n y o t h e r universities) t h e C o l lege

h a s v e r y little s p a r e

cash to

f i n a n c e n e w initiatives, a n d c o n s e quently that

it's o n l y t h r o u g h

Norman

Foster's

C a m p u s Renaissance a reality...

mergers vision

of

can become

4 all this and m o r e - from January 2 0 0 0

Imperial College OF SCIENCE, T E C H N O L O G Y A N D MEDICINE

N

6

x

e

Bacterial Terrorists Clothes that fight B O ?

gets smelly

The nineties h a v e seen a n i n c r e a s e in bacterial

a t t h e t i m e o f p u b e r t y . T h i s s e c o n d a r y s w e a t is a

w a r f a r e , not b e t w e e n countries but in the

waxy

- most h o u s e h o l d cleaning products

home

advertise

oily

solution

produced

mostly

in t h e

a r m p i t s a n d g e n i t a l a r e a s a n d its c o m p o s i t i o n is

s o m e sort o f a n t i m i c r o b i a l f u n c t i o n , b u t g o o d

unique to each

o l d - f a s h i o n e d b l e a c h is still t h e b e s t t h i n g t o d i s -

sweat for f o o d , pr o du c i n g noxious c o m p o u n d s

person. Bacteria

break

down

infect surfaces. Scientists are n o w g o i n g b a c k t o

t h a t g i v e rise t o t h e c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s o u r w h i f f o f

basics a n d are f i n d i n g i n n o v a t i v e ways of utilis-

B O . For s o m e p e o p l e no a m o u n t of d e o d o r a n t s

ing chlorine - even t o c o m b a t b o d y odour. But

c a n c o m b a t this s m e l l , a n d i n f a c t t h e c o m b i n a -

don't

t i o n o f p u t r i d s w e a t a n d d e o d o r a n t is o f t e n m o r e

worry,

products rather

a

range

of bleach

is n o t a b o u t

scientists

bubble-bath

t o hit t h e m a r k e t y e t ;

are developing

antimicrobial

c l o t h i n g t h a t a t t a c k s b a c t e r i a w h i l e y o u w e a r it.

r e v o l t i n g t h a n t h e s w e a t o n its o w n .

Bacteria

thrive o n b o d y s u r f a c e s a n d

they

also transfer o n t o clothing. For hygienic reasons

m e n perspire, a n d w o m e n

I w o u l d h o p e that most o f you w a s h your socks

glow. That may b e a genteel way of expressing

a n d u n d e r w e a r d a i l y b u t p e r h a p s it is n o t f e a s i -

Horses

sweat,

a slightly u n p a l a t a b l e fact, but, p h y s i o l o g i c a l l y ,

ble t o c l e a n y o u r w a r d r o b e every time y o u w e a r

a n y b o d y w h o gets hot o r c a r r i e s o u t exercise will

it o r h a v e a b a t h e a c h t i m e y o u b r e a k o u t in a

s w e a t w h e t h e r t h e y a r e m a l e , f e m a l e or, i n d e e d ,

s w e a t . C l o t h i n g that d i s i n f e c t s t h e w e a r e r w o u l d

a

therefore s e e m t o be the i d e a l s o l u t i o n .

h o r s e . This

natural

phenomenon

is vital t o

m a i n t a i n i n g a c o n s t a n t b o d y t e m p e r a t u r e , but to

The idea to make bactericidal clothing w a s

Most people frantically try to avoid sweating s u r f a c e m a r k e r s m a k i n g it d i f f i c u l t f o r t h e b a c t e -

b e s e e n t o s w e a t i n p u b l i c is p e r h a p s t o c o m m i t

first d e v e l o p e d

o n e o f t h e g r e a t e s t s o c i a l f a u x p a s in o u r c u l -

m a n a g e d to make chlorine molecules adhere to

ture. S w e a t patches are c o n s i d e r e d h i d e o u s a n d

cotton fibres. T h e m o v e m e n t of the w e a r e r then

remains

m o s t p e o p l e f r a n t i c a l l y try t o a v o i d s w e a t i n g b y

e n a b l e s the c h l o r i n e a t t a c h e d t o the c l o t h i n g t o

which

dousing

c o l l i d e with t h e b a c t e r i a a n d s u b s e q u e n t l y kill

prospect and

t h e m . A n d o n c e t h e c h l o r i n e runs o u t t h e a n t i m i -

w o r l d w h e r e t h e o n l y c o l o u r a v a i l a b l e t o us is

crobial function c a n be regenerated

w h i t e ? W h e t h e r c o n s t a n t e x p o s u r e o f the s k i n t o

themselves

in a range

of antiperspi-

rants.

T h e r e a r e t w o t y p e s o f s w e a t : o r d i n a r y salty

b y s c i e n t i s t s in C a l i f o r n i a w h o

by s i m p l y

ria t o b e c o m e r e s i s t a n t t o it.

This a l l s o u n d s very neat but t h e q u e s t i o n - w o u l d o n e always smell of bleach, i n itself

chlorine

is a

somewhat

d o e s that m e a n

w a t e r , w h i c h is s e c r e t e d f r o m t h e e c r i n e g l a n d s

w a s h i n g the t r e a t e d f a b r i c with a d i l u t e c h l o r i n e

a

all o v e r t h e b o d y , a n d e r o g e n o u s s w e a t s e c r e t e d

b l e a c h . Unlike antibiotics, which attack specific

another

compound

f r o m the a p o c r i n e g l a n d s that k i c k e d into a c t i o n

t a r g e t s , c h l o r i n e hits a w i d e r a n g e o f b a c t e r i a l

a n s w e r e d in the fullness of t i m e .

question,

will

which

unattractive

w e will enter a

prove

h a r m f u l is

no doubt

will b e

Fair Trade?

Today the World Trade Organisation Summit opens in Seattle to violent protests and bitter infighting A s y o u r e a d this, d e l e g a t e s f r o m the 1 3 5 m e m -

the W T O i g n o r e s t h e e n v i r o n m e n t

completely,

but this w a s t o the a d v a n t a g e o f the less p o w e r -

b e r states o f t h e W o r l d T r a d e O r g a n i s a t i o n will b e

b e c a u s e it d o e s n ' t . It just m a k e s s u r e that the a r t i -

f u l , less i n d u s t r i a l i s e d n a t i o n o f M e x i c o , a fact

m e e t i n g in S e a t t l e t o d i s c u s s f o r t h c o m i n g a g r e e -

c l e s r e l a t i n g t o the p r o t e c t i o n o f the e n v i r o n m e n t

that the m o r e r a d i c a l o u t s p o k e n p r o t e s t e r s t e n d

ments o n the o p e n i n g u p o f the w o r l d

a r e written by linguists. Result: a n e x c e p t i o n t o

to i g n o r e .

market.

T h i s a l l s o u n d s r e a s o n a b l e , e x c e p t that w h a t is

WTO

really g o i n g t o h a p p e n

e n v i r o n m e n t , b u t a c t u a l l y isn't. H e n c e t h e U S A g l o b a l p o v e r t y s i t u a t i o n b y d e s t r o y i n g self-suffi-

is this: e a c h

c o u n t r y is

g o i n g t o b r i n g a l o n g a w h o p p i n g list o f w i s h e s and

r e q u e s t s , a n d try t o g e t a s m a n y o f t h e m

f r e e - t r a d e rules that s o u n d s a s if it's p r o -

some

years

back

tried

to b a n Mexican

i m p o r t s b e c a u s e this t u n a w a s h u g e l y

tuna

dolphin-

u n f r i e n d l y b e c a u s e the nets t e n d e d t o t r a p d o l -

granted as possible.

If this r e m i n d s y o u o f t h o s e s i m i l a r lists that you posted to Father Christmas a s a child, then

phins and-drown them.

They

also

accuse

the W T O of creating a

c i e n c y . A g a i n this is a d e b a t a b l e Government

o f India

issue, as the

( G O I ) is n o w very

well

a w a r e of. It w a s this very a i m , that o f self-suffic i e n c y , that w a s the m a i n c a u s e o f d e f o r e s t a t i o n

T h e W T O a r t i c l e that s o neatly p o i n t s o u t that

a n d e n v i r o n m e n t a l d e g r a d a t i o n in I n d i a .

A

series

of five-year

environmental

action

w e l c o m e t o the 'grown-up' w o r l d of international

anti-environmental products c a n be b a n n e d from

n e g o t i a t i o n s . A n d whilst t h e p o l i t i c a l b i c k e r i n g ,

e n t e r i n g y o u r m a r k e t a l s o i m p l i e s s o m e w h e r e in

plans w e r e carried o u t f r o m the 1 9 5 0 s , all of

p u s h i n g , s h o v i n g a n d s t a m p i n g o f feet is t a k i n g

the d a r k r e c e s s e s o f the w o r d i n g that this e x c e p -

them

p l a c e , a rally o f p r o t e s t e r s will b e p a r a d i n g o u t -

t i o n d o e s n ' t i n c l u d e p r o d u c t s that a r e a n t i - e n v i -

Nonetheless,

side with banners saying " N o t o g l o b a l i s a t i o n " -

r o n m e n t a l in the w a y they a r e p r o d u c e d . This is

i n c r e a s i n g . It w a s o n l y w h e n t h e G O I g o t t o the

a n d t r o u b l e is e x p e c t e d .

d a f t : m o s t of the w o r l d ' s e n v i r o n m e n t a l p r o b l e m s

7th e n v i r o n m e n t a l a c t i o n p l a n that they r e a l i s e d

i s s u e s that t h e p r o t e s t e r s

result f r o m t h e a c t u a l p r o d u c t i o n p r o c e s s e s . S o ,

that e c o n o m i c g r o w t h c o u l d n o t g o h a n d i n h a n d with self-sufficiency.

Two o f the m a i n

of are p r o m o t i n g the d e t e r i o r a -

u n l e s s the tins of t u n a a c t u a l l y e m i t t e d s o m e k i n d

t i o n of t h e e n v i r o n m e n t , e n h a n c i n g g l o b a l p o v e r -

of r a d i o a c t i v e m a t e r i a l o r c a u s e d the s u r r o u n d i n g

ty a n d

enhancing the power

vegetation to wither o r w a r m e d

alised

states

a c c u s e the W T O

of giant

a n d multinational

industri-

corporations.

These issues are in terlin ked .

W h a t the W T O

is a b o u t is f r e e t r a d e - t h e

world as a huge shopping mall where

anyone

c a n sell t h e i r p r o d u c t s . N o w if t h e s e p r o d u c t s a r e

u p the c l i m a t e ,

they w e r e p a s s e d .

focussing

essentially

t h e rate

o n self-sufficiency.

of deforestation w a s

A n d this is e s s e n t i a l l y w h a t it a l l b o i l s d o w n t o : e c o n o m i c g r o w t h . This is w h a t the W T O is a b o u t . This is w h a t all t h e d e v e l o p i n g c o u n t r i e s

This c a s e b r i n g s u p t w o issues that the p r o -

w a n t . It s e e m s that t r a d e c a n o p e n this v e n u e , but

testers a r e s c r e a m i n g a b o u t : e n v i r o n m e n t a l d e t e -

the protesters h a v e a p o i n t t o m a k e . T h i n g s a r e

rioration a n d the increasing p o w e r of industri-

g e t t i n g t o o ' b i g ' . S c a l e is t h e i s s u e . T h e g l o b a l

a l i s e d g i a n t s , s u c h as t h e U S .

p r o d u c e d in a w a y t h a t d e s t r o y s t h e e n v i r o n m e n t ,

O n the o n e h a n d , the W T O h a s o v e r r u l e d a n

y o u c a n ' t d o a t h i n g a b o u t it. This isn't b e c a u s e

e n v i r o n m e n t a l a p p r o a c h ( a n d d o l p h i n s lost out)

risks a r e i n c r e a s i n g in s c a l e , a n d w h e r e the b e n efits a r e h u g e , s o a r e the pitfalls.

TANYA

ONGARRA

e

9

The End is Nigh Never mind the Millennium Bug, the best is yet to come.

gets apocalyptic.

Your P C passed 9 / 9 / 9 9 without self-destructing.

operation

(Were y o u e v e n a w a r e that d a y last

( Y 5 G ) the s u n will h a v e t o fuse h e l i u m into h e a v -

September

w a s m e a n t t o b e a c r u n c h p o i n t in its s h o r t life?)

contemplated)

after

5 billion

years

ier e l e m e n t s . T h e g r a v i t a t i o n a l reins will b e c o m e

C o m e next year, the m i l l e n n i u m b u g will h a v e

w e a k e r . T h e s u n will swell in size, cutting d o w n o n

t u r n e d o u t to b e just a m i n o r b l i p . M a y b e a p l a n e

the 1 5 0 m i l l i o n - k m s e p a r a t i o n of s u n a n d e a r t h . It

d i d d r o p o u t the sky, but w h o ' s t o s a y it w o u l d

II e n g u l f M e r c u r y . Earth will get h o t . T h e r e l -

n't h a v e c r a s h e d a n y w a y ? H o w e v e r , the latest

ative

cool

w h a t y o u ' v e really g o t t o w o r r y a b o u t is the Y 5 G b u g . This "myth" is b a s e d o n better s c i e n c e t h a n y o u r

of the Martian

become

u r b a n myth d o i n g the r o u n d s i n d i c a t e s that

climate wil! prospect for

' y o u r holidays.

/'J

G o v e r n m e n t officials have i d e n -

«™W

/

a n attractive

tified s e v e r a l a r e a s o f c o n c e r n in

average

the run u p to Y 5 G , a n d p r o p o s e

l e g e n d . H e r e ' s the f a c t s . . .

The s u n , o u r nearest

to set u p a task f o r c e

main

(com-

s e q u e n c e star, is a g r e a t b i g

pris in g u n - e l e c t e d f r e e l o a d -

H - b o m b . This b o m b c o n t i n -

k ers o n g e n e r o u s e x p e n s e

uously r Hi

M I

releases

i. 'i .

i 'l

.n

) a< c o u n t s ,

copious j

J

'I

with ground

hydrogen nuclei are s m a s h e d t o g e t h e r s o v i o l e n t l y that they f u s e t o

Illustration: Luke Larrea

form heavier isotopes o f h y d r o g e n a n d then heli-

vs

hatsoever)

a n d people

n o scientific

back-

o r understanding

to endlessly

debate

issues s u c h a s

u m . S o , s h o u l d o u r s u n , like a b o m b , b e b l o w i n g itself to bits? N o . T h e s u n k e e p s s t r o n g reins o n its

•

S h o u l d J a n 1st 5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 o r J a n 1st

f u e l . T h e i m m e n s e m a s s o f the s u n m e a n s it h a s

5 0 0 0 0 0 0 001

s i m i l a r l y i m m e n s e gravity. T h e e x p l o s i v e f o r c e try-

lennium?

i n g to s p r e a d the s u n w i d e l y o u t i n t o the s o l a r sys-

•

b e the start o f the n e w tail -

The billennium g n o m e construction project, a m a s s i v e w a s t e o f p u b l i c a n d private m o n e y .

t e m is b a l a n c e d b y its gravity, k e e p i n g it s q u i s h e d u p i n o n e p l a c e . This b a l a n c e h a s h e l d s w a y f o r

•

The race to develop factor 3 6 0 0 0 sunscreen.

all the t i m e life o n e a r t h h a s k n o w n the s u n a n d a

•

W h y windows 4 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 ™ keeps crash-

long time before.

ing for no reason.

H e r e ' s the ( g i g a ) b u g . W h e n o u r s o l a r system w a s c r e a t e d , the m a c h i n e w a s g i v e n o n l y a finite

•

Imperial

College

b u i l d i n g projects

still n o t

complete.

a m o u n t o f f u e l . T h e s u n is u s i n g o v e r 3 m i l l i o n t o n n e s o f its m a s s p e r s e c o n d , c o n v e r t i n g it t o energy,

i n c l u d i n g t h e h e a t a n d light w e e n j o y

O f c o u r s e , e v e n t u a l l y t h e s u n will c o o l a n d c o n t r a c t , a n d what's left o n Earth will f r e e z e s o l i d ,

(from a safe d i s t a n c e ) h e r e o n E a r t h . T h e p o i n t is,

including

there's a limit to t h e sun's fuel s u p p l i e s . T h a n k s t o

a r o u n d t o w o r r y a b o u t that, b e c a u s e

o u r atmosphere.

But w e won't

this l a c k o f f o r w a r d p l a n n i n g (with n o r e - f u e l l i n g

g o i n g t o d i e . It's b e e n n i c e k n o w i n g y o u .

be

we're a l l

This isn't on the course but....

No.l : Maxwell's

Demon

•

M a x w e l l ' s D e m o n w a s a s w e e t little c r e a t u r e w h o s o r t e d o u t h o t p a r t i c l e s f r o m c o l d

i :i iai:'fhiii :

:

o n e s . J a m e s C l e r k M a x w e l l w a s n o t t o o p l e a s e d by his d e v i l i s h c r e a t i o n b e c a u s e h e p r a c t i c e d t h e m y s t e r i o u s art o f " T h e r m o d y n a m i c s " - w a t c h i n g g a s i n a b o x . F r o m a l a y p e r s o n ' s p e r s p e c t i v e , t h e r e can't b e a n a w f u l lot that is m y s t e r i o u s a b o u t g a s in a

inur, in ;N •!, 1

1

-MU

b o x , o n e w o u l d e x p e c t it to just sit t h e r e . N e v e r t h e l e s s , a lot o f p h y s i c a l l y i m p o r t a n t d i s c o v e r i e s w e r e m a d e in the last c e n t u r y by g a s - i n - a - b o x w a t c h e r s . O n e s u c h reve l a t i o n w a s the p r i n c i p l e o f e n t r o p y : the ' m e s s i n e s s ' of the u n i v e r s e is a l w a y s i n c r e a s i n g . This p r i n c i p l e , m o r e c o m m o n l y k n o w u n d e r t h e e x u b e r a n t title of "The 2 n d L a w of T h e r m o d y n a m i c s " , h a s q u i t e p r o f o u n d i m p l i c a t i o n s o n t h e life a n d d e a t h o f t h e u n i v e r s e . C l o s e r to h o m e , a g o o d d e m o n s t r a t i o n of this l a w c a n b e a c h i e v e d b y o b s e r v i n g y o u r o w n b e d r o o m (it w o r k s f o r m e ) .

R e t u r n i n g t o o u r d e m o n i c f r i e n d , if (s)he's b u s y s o r t i n g o u t p a r t i c l e s t h e n the w o r l d w o n ' t b e s o messy, v i o l a t i n g t h e e n t r o p y p r i n c i p l e . M a x w e l l ' s D e m o n c o u l d p l a y little tricks o n p e o p l e , s o r t i n g o u t the fast p a r t i c l e s f r o m t h e s l o w e r o n e s , m e a n i n g that all the g a s i n a r o o m c o u l d s u d d e n l y g a t h e r

O n e of the m o s t difficult m a t h e m a t i c

u p in o n e c o r n e r . . . Scientists d o n ' t e n j o y h a v i n g t h e i r p r i n c i p l e s l i b e r a l i s e d , s o a s o l u t i o n to M a x w e l l ' s

the S h i r n u r a - T a n i y a m a - W e i i (STW) c o

D e m o n b e c a m e t h e g o a l o f m a n y g a s - i n - a - b o x w a t c h e r s . U n a b l e t o p r o v e d e m o n s d o n ' t exist, the

been solved by an international tear

p r o b l e m w a s f i n a l l y r e s o l v e d by c o n s i d e r i n g w h a t h a p p e n s t o t h e p o o r little d e v i l w h e n (s)he's sort-

l e m , o f w h i c h Fermat's Last T h e o r e m i

i n g p a r t i c l e s . Y o u s e e , a l t h o u g h the p a r t i c l e s will b e c o m e less m e s s y o n c e they've b e e n s o r t e d , the d e m o n b e c o m e s m e s s i e r - i n f a c t , m o r e m e s s y t h a n the o r i g i n a l p a r t i c l e s . T h u s , the t o t a l m e s s i n e s s of the u n i v e r s e h a s i n c r e a s e d a n d g a s - i n - a - b o x w a t c h e r s c a n r e j o i c e in t h e v a l i d i t y o f the 2 n d Law. T h e s a m e a p p l i e s t o b e d r o o m s by t h e w a y , w h i c h e x p l a i n s t h e state o f m i n e . . .

M A R T Y N WHITWELL

JC

n

8

x

e Oh

By Natasha Newton, Imperial College Union President

G o d , only a month t o Christ-

mas,

a n d I have

cards to send.

Warner Brothers The

d i s c o u n t is n o w s o r t e d -

full

will g o o n a h u n d r e d

paperwork miles

the

details

- This Week's Union Meetings -

thousands of

will

appear

away,

their

courses

will

o r hall o r whatever,

then you c a n

c h o o s e s o m e o n e from the U n i o n t o

c h a n g e a n d t h e y ' l l b e c o m e lost in

c o m e a l o n g t o represent y o u . T h e

the I C ether.

v a l u e o f h a v i n g us a l o n g is t h a t w e

next

Why

•

November

1 5 . 3 0 Trading

have seen cases before, w e are not

Tue 3 0 t h N o v e m b e r

w e e k , b u t lets just s a y t h e N U S is

get the f e e l i n g , h a v i n g met t h e m ,

s c a r e d , a n d s o w e are not afraid to

•

g o i n g to b e really m a d !

t h a t t h e y w e r e d o i n g just f i n e until

p o i n t o u t t h a t they s h o u l d n ' t b e a s k -

•

a

i n g w h a t they a r e t r y i n g t o a s k . Y o u

A u g u s t next y e a r will b e g i n a

n e w b i g brother

came

along.

D o n ' t g e t m e w r o n g - t h e R e c t o r is

are

v e r y k e e n t o m a k e this g o s m o o t h -

then

not a l o n e email

- if y o u n e e d

new e r a in IC history a s w e m e r g e

ly a n d I C U is p u l l i n g o u t a l l t h e

president@ic.ac.uk,

stops,

m.m.thomson@ic.ac.uk

the country, W y e . I m e t with t w o o f

necessary.

w h y it's all

that

have comedy

'somerzet'

we

h a d a very

What

they

did

will

In trouble with College?

accents,

productive

difference

not

time.

1 3 . 0 0 A & E Board

The

T h u s f a r this t e r m I h a v e h a d

dpew@ic.ac.uk,

2 0 . 0 0 C A G s o u p run

•

T h u r 1 st D e c e m b e r •

some

juicy

casework....sorry all

1 2 . 3 0 Recreational

Clubs

C o m m i t t e e Treasurers

meeting

(Resource Centre)

front

received

Treasurers

meeting (Resource Centre)

And finally...

their e x e c this w e e k a n d a l t h o u g h disappointed

Risk a s s e s s m e n t d e a d l i n e

o n e of the following:

with o n e o f the o l d e s t c o l l e g e s in

I just w o n d e r

help,

committee

(Clubs C om m ittee Room)

P e r h a p s I just

Wye?

so cynical?

M o n 29th

page

two envelopes

students

•

1 8 . 3 0 I C U Executive

from the

C o u n c i l this w e e k e n d . N u m b e r 1:

Commit-

tee (Resource Centre) •

2 0 . 0 0 C A G s o u p run

the merger

c o n f i d e n t i a l . Still I t h i n k it is i m p o r -

an

m a k e ? To us, m o r e girls o n c a m -

t a n t t o r e m i n d e v e r y o n e t h a t if y o u

tion that there w o u l d b e n o bailiffs.

pus,

a s they

l a n d y o u r s e l f i n t h e p o o h with C o l -

N u m b e r 2 : a bill f o r t h e i r C o u n c i l

13.0 0 Social Clubs

k n o w it w i l l b e r i p p e d o p e n , t h e i r

l e g e , b e that t o d o with y o u r c o u r s e

Tax!

meeting (Resource Centre)

to them, the world

abject a p o l o g y a n d c o n f i r m a Fri 2 n d D e c e m b e r Treasurers

e W i t h W o r l d A I D S D a y h a p p e n i n g this W e d n e s d a y , I felt t h e n e e d t o write

By Kevin Butcher, Deputy President (Education & Welfare)

a b o u t s e x u a l h e a l t h in g e n e r a l a s part

A s part of this w e e k ' s I C U S e x u a l

p a r e d " a n d all s h o u l d b e w e l l .

Health Awareness W e e k , the U n i o n

HIV/AIDS

G a y a n d Bisexual Society) will b e r u n -

for example)

n i n g a stall in t h e U n i o n L o b b y with

r e m e m b e r that t h e U n i o n

and

W o r l d A I D S D a y is a w a y o f c r e -

Imperial

Queers

(our Lesbian,

even/thing (pubic lice o r g e n i t a l warts a n d everyone

O o h , the d r e a d e d C w o r d . With IC

P r e p a r a t i o n a n d c a r e will n o t stop

of the I C U S e x u a l H e a l t h W e e k .

Cancer being

predominately

male a n d

a r o u n d the 1 8-25 year o l d section, we have a prime poo l of m e n a n d a

should

p r i m e target g r o u p f o r testicular c a n -

provides,

cer. M a y b e it's a t a b o o a r e a o r p e r -

a t i n g a n d nurturing a w a r e n e s s a n d

information,

leaflets a n d c o n d o m s .

free, u n b i a s e d , friendly a d v i c e . It y o u

h a p s it's just i g n o r a n c e , but this is still

fundraising

trying t o

W e will b e " s e l l i n g " r e d r i b b o n s a l l

think y o u h a v e c o n t r a c t e d a n STI a n d

a significant killer o f m e n . It is a r e l a -

treatments a n d

w e e k f o r a d o n a t i o n . This w e e k will

are u n s u r e w h e r e t o g o f r o m t h e r e ,

tively s i m p l e p r o c e d u r e t o " b e a w a r e

b e r u n in c o - o r d i n a t i o n with the o t h e r

p o p in t o s e e either M a r t i n T h o m s o n

of y o u r s e l v e s " . F o r e x a m p l e , after a

cine. To a d d t o this, t h o s e with a g l o b -

campuses.

o r myself. W e h a v e lists o f the l o c a l

warm

al c o n s c i o u s n e s s will note that 2 8 m i l -

f o r D r J a m e s D e u t s c h (from C r u s A I D )

GUM

b e t w e e n y o u r t h u m b a n d forefinger.

lion o f the W o r l d total 3 3 . 5 m i l l i o n

to c o m e a n d s p e a k o n living with H I V

advice

cases o f HIV i n f e c t i o n a r e f o u n d w i t h -

o n T u e s d a y l u n c h t i m e (venue t o b e

often

in t h e D e v e l o p i n g W o r l d .

announced).

improve

for research,

palliative

p e r h a p s find a c u r e / effective

funding

is n e e d e d

medicines

vac-

Research

to ensure

such

are simple, cheap a n d

I C S M S U has arranged

I Q is a l s o

running a

safer sex w o r k s h o p in the U n i o n o n

T h e Student

Feel

bath,

just

roll

each

all the w a y a r o u n d

testicle

for any

u n u s u a l l u m p s o r a n y t e n d e r a r e a . If

H a n d b o o k also has addresses a n d

you

t e l e p h o n e s n u m b e r s , o r l o o k in t h e

Fairly easy t o treat, o r if things h a v e

are

Sexually Transmitted Infections

treatment,

a n d sometimes counselling, anonymously.

phone

T u e s d a y night.

readily a v a i l a b l e .

As a n aside, I would r e c o m m e n d

C l i n i c s w h o offer

b o o k u n d e r " c l i n i c s " . If y o u

particularly

worried,

regular

b e c o m e worried, see your G R

p r o g r e s s e d then prosthetic testes a r e a v a i l a b l e a n d y o u c a n o p e r a t e quite

c h e c k s a r e a v a i l a b l e , i n c l u d i n g a full

n o r m a l l y o n just the o n e . M u c h better

s c r e e n . This c a n b e p r o v i d e d in p a r -

than not d o i n g anything which could

thing t o e n c o u r a g e b e c a u s e it h e l p s

allel with a n HIV test. A g a i n c h e c k o u t

risk y o u r life. Similarly, f o r w o m e n ,

in

the y e l l o w p a g e s o r t h e listings o n

b e i n g a w a r e o f y o u r breasts is a f a i r -

www.aidsmap.com.

ly s i m p l e p r o c e d u r e a n d s h o u l d b e

r e g u l a r tests, w h e t h e r y o u c o n s i d e r

T h e p r a c t i c e o f safe sex is a g o o d

yourself h i g h risk o r not. T h e s e a r e usually free f r o m m o s t G e n i t o - U r i n a r y Medicine

Loads o f

o t h e r STIs. T h e likes o f syphilis, g o n -

i n f o r m a t i o n is a v a i l a b l e o n the w e b ,

o r r h e a , c h l a m y d i a a n d thrush a r e still

ness, this w e e k ' s

in d a

d o n e fairly regularly. A g a i n , if y o u feel

including

on

" p o p u l a r " a n d d o the r o u n d s every

V i n c i ' s will b e a STI / HIV quiz. U s u a l

any unusual lumps o r tenderness you

( G U M ) Clinics.

lists

www.aidsmap.com

of

clinics

preventing

the transmission of

To a i d a w a r e B a r Trivia

- a site c o - p r o -

year. O f c o u r s e , f o r h e t e r o s e x u a l s the

prizes (courtesy o f S T A Travel) a n d a

should

d u c e d by the N a t i o n a l A I D S M a n u a l

b i g g e s t worry o f u n s a f e sex s h o u l d

particularly interesting picture r o u n d !

o t h e r sig n if icant c a n c e r f o r w o m e n t o

a n d t h e British H I V A s s o c i a t i o n . O t h -

surely b e p r e g n a n c y . A h , but I h e a r

P l e a s e attend - it is free a n d

b e a w a r e o f is c e r v i c a l c a n c e r . D o c -

ers t o l o o k o u t f o r a r e t h e T e r e n c e

y o u cry that the girl s h o u l d b e p r o -

s h o u l d b e a f u n a n d exciting e v e n i n g .

tors r e c o m m e n d r e g u l a r s m e a r tests

H i g g i n s Trust (www.tht.org.uk), C r u -

tecting herself, c h a n c e s a r e they a r e

W i n n e r s s h o u l d b e p r o u d that they

f r o m the a g e of twenty.

sAID ( w w w . c r u s i a d . o r g . u k ) ,

on

a r e a w a r e a n d fully l o a d e d with a l l

National

t h e Pill.

Assumptions

are

bad

A I D S Trust (www.nat.org.uk) a n d t h e

things

various

a c c e p t a n c e o f t h e m results in future

H E A sites

www.hea.org.uk).

(covered

in

to make

a n d usually

blind

p r o b l e m s . F o l l o w the m o t t o " B e Pre-

the

knowledge

t o stay

safe a n d

approach

Cancer something

your doctor. T h e

should that

b e treated a s

c a n potentially hit

healthy a n d n o t b e t a k e n a s a n y i n d i -

e v e r y b o d y rather t h a n the o l d e r g e n -

c a t i o n o f their past!

eration. Please be aware.

mm

•

'IMS

^i^@[ri ...

J

TICKET HOTLINES': QMW J UCL Wmlnsfer' Charing X Imperial

n Support of:

Geata

07931 781 289 07932 031 192 Vlnay 07957 160 585 AJK Raatha 0171 385 9197 • Darshan 0956 460 253

IT

& 'ilj

Care and Relief for the Young (CR

Natasha

0986 223 473

:

k

0

x

* i n t Ever b e e n t o M a l e t Street?

There's

s e e m quite willing t o throw stupen-

not m u c h there e x c e p t f o r the V i r g i n

dous

amounts

of c o l o u r e d

notes

fairly m a j o r s u m o f ÂŁ 9 0 , 0 0 0

each

u s e d i n the past is that U L U s p o r t i n g

a n d every y e a r - m o r e t h a n e n o u g h to

clubs provide a standard of c o m p e t i -

s a v e a library o r t w o .

tion that o u r o w n c l u b s c a n ' t m a t c h . I

Megastore and a drab old pub called

t h r o u g h the d o o r in o r d e r t o r e p a i r

the " D u c k a n d D i v e " . It h a s recently

s o m e quite nasty h o l e s in the p a p e r -

This isn't heresy, if y o u s t o p a n d

h a v e n o issue with this - it's c o m -

h a d a m a k e o v e r , but like m o s t recent

w o r k . Sadly, the h o l e s never g o a w a y .

think a b o u t it. H o w m a n y o f us a c t u -

pletely true. H o w e v e r , better f u n d i n g ,

m a k e o v e r s i n L o n d o n it has b e e n a c o n q u e s t of style o v e r s u b s t a n c e .

T h e D u c k a n d D i v e is in a n u n f o r tunate p o s i t i o n . O v e r the y e a r s , it h a s had

many

managers

(on averag e

S o why s h o u l d y o u c a r e ?

say I b l a m e you), s o it m a k e s n o diff e r e n c e , right? W r o n g . "shareholders"

O n e of the

m e n t i o n e d a b o v e is

o n e p e r year), w h o h a v e s t r u g g l e d t o

y o u , i n a r o u n d a b o u t way.

maintain

the clientele.

After

a l l , y o u lot n e v e r g o there (and I c a n ' t

U L U is

ally g o a n d use the facilities that w e

better o r g a n i s a t i o n , a n d better f a c i l i -

pay f o r s o h a n d s o m e l y ?

ties f o r o u r o w n s p o r t i n g c l u b s will

The n u m people

s o o n r e n d e r this distinction invisible.

g o there f o r the c l u b s a n d s o c i e t i e s ,

bers a r e pretty s m a l l . S o m e

Roll o n the a d v e n t of the I C Athletics

but the n u m b e r of c l u b s that U L U p r o -

U n i o n , a n d s o o n we'll have n o rea-

v i d e s that I C U d o e s n ' t c a n be c o u n t -

s o n to b e in U L U at a l l .

While the

f u n d e d by the c o l l e g e s of the U n i v e r -

e d o n the fingers o f o n e h a n d .

I'm

If the student b o d y a g r e e to that,

l o c a l s s e e m quite h a p p y t o g o there

sity o f L o n d o n , t h r o u g h m o n e y g i v e n

sure s o m e p e o p l e will write in s a y i n g

the Rector c a n finally e n g a g e the final

o c c a s i o n a l l y , it s e e m s that e v e r y b o d y

to

else can't b e b o t h e r e d t o s p e n d half

Funding

Education

that they g o f o r the s o c i a l life a n d that

p h a s e o f his m a s t e r p l a n , a n d t h e

ring-fenced f o r

they love it, but I'd bet that the m a j o r -

C o l l e g e c a n s e c e d e f r o m the U n i v e r -

a n h o u r a n d t w o pints-worth o f c a s h

" s t u d e n t s e r v i c e s " . This m e a n s that if

ity o f y o u w o u l d m u c h rather s e e a n

sity altogether. N o n e o f us will ever

getting t h ere .

they

extra

a g a i n h a v e to b e a r the s h a m e of h a v -

Luckily, this p u b h a s s o m e very understanding

by t h e H i g h e r

them

Council,

didn't spend

it o n U L U ,

they

w o u l d h a v e to s p e n d it o n y o u .

shareholders, w h o

each

year

One

argument

that

k n o w s he w as n 't the only p e r s o n w h o w a s c o m p r e hensively

Kensington a n d C h e l s e a have a new m e m b e r o f

spooked

pumped

into i m p r o v i n g o u r o w n facilities.

A n d h o w m u c h is i n v o l v e d ? T h e

FANTASTIC

ÂŁ90,000

by t h e f a k e

ing t h e s a m e

has been

degree

certificate a s

lesser b e i n g s f r o m U C L a n d Q M W . . .

tures, the n e w m e d i c s certainly s e e t h e m s e l v e s as I C

documentary:

students, a n d d o not h o l d the anti-IC prejudice s o f

" G h o s t W a t c h " p r e s e n t e d by M i k e Smith a n d S a r a h

the o l d e r students. K e v i n is c o n f i d e n t that I C will

P a r l i a m e n t , e l e c t e d at last T h u r s d a y ' s by- election .

G r e e n , w h e n it w a s s h o w n o n T V a b o u t eight years

b e c o m e " o n e b i g h a p p y f a m i l y " , e v e n if it d o e s

M a n y p e o p l e h a v e u s e d the m e d i a attention g e n -

a g o . Kevin believes that p e o p l e w h o h a v e e x p e r i -

take s o m e time.

erated by a n e l e c t i o n to their a d v a n t a g e ; at the last

e n c e d the p a r a n o r m a l a r e p r i v i l e g e d to h a v e d o n e

general election a local businessman, " M r M o n g o -

s o , a n d o u g h t to s h a r e their e x p e r i e n c e with others.

lian B a r b e c u e " , s t o o d f o r " T h e M o n g o l i a n B a r b e -

K e v i n urges a n y o n e interested t o c o n t a c t h i m o n

c u e , A G r e a t P l a c e T o " party. A c o u p l e o f w e e k s

kevin@ic.ac.uk.

P l e a s e w o u l d s o m e o n e f r o m the C C S t a k e a few

a g o a n I C student w a s c o n s i d e r i n g s t a n d i n g f o r the p a r l i a m e n t a r y seat. T h e student w a s in n e g o t i a t i o n s with a n internet c o m p a n y w h o h a d o f f e r e d t o p a y him to c h a n g e his n a m e to M r w w w . f u n m a i l . c o . u k , a n d to s t a n d a g a i n s t M r Portillo. W i t h the l a r g e s t u dent p o p u l a t i o n in t h e constituency, there

would

h ave b e e n a n excellent c h a n c e of the c a n d i d a t e not losing his d e p o s i t , h a d the c o m p a n y not p u l l e d o u t at the last m i n u t e . T h e student; w h o else but everyb o d y ' s favourite p r e s i d e n t , D a v e H e l l a r d ?

SINGING FROM THE STAIRS H a v e y o u e v e r w o n d e r e d w h y the staircase in the

MICROSOFT MAYHEM seconds

Mish Mash A Mostly Harmless Column by Kevin, a random entity who knows nothing about nothing

to configure

the O u t l o o k w e b access

d e v i c e correctly. T h e p r o b l e m lies with t h e 'Sent M a i l F o l d e r ' , w h i c h has b e e n bizarrely set up s o that it d o e s not tell the user w h o the recipient of the m e s s a g e s w a s . Instead it d i s p l a y s the n a m e of the p e r s o n w h o sent the m e s s a g e s . W h i l e this m a y be u s e ful t o entities like K e v i n , w h o possess a p l e t h o r a o f identities, it is just a n a n n o y a n c e to the majority o f users. Kevin w o u l d not b e at all s u r p r i s e d if the fault he h a s s potte d is in fact a f eatu re of the M i c r o s o f t system, w h i c h will not be fixed until the next extortionately e x p e n s i v e u p g r a d e .

SHAKEN NOT STIRRED

foyer of the B M S b u i l d i n g is s o b i g , a n d in s u c h a n

CULTURE CLASH

obstructive p o s i t i o n ? A l t h o u g h this q u e s t i o n is yet to

Recently in o n e o f I C ' s h i g h t e c h lecture theatres,

be a n s w e r e d , a use h a s b e e n f o u n d f o r the i m p r e s -

the lecturer a t t e m p t e d t o adjust t h e lights. After

sive structure. A choir, " C a n t o V i l l a n e l l a " , m a d e u p

Medical

of b o t h m e d i c s a n d scientists f r o m I C , a r e g o i n g t o

H o u s e have " v o i c e d s o m e disquiet a b o u t

be s i n g i n g f r o m the stairs a t 1 3 . 0 0 this T u e s d a y

m i x e d with o t h e r s t u d e n t s . " T h e r e a s o n g i v e n w a s

not g o i n g to r e s p o n d . T h e lecturer d e c i d e d to c o n -

l u n c h t i m e . They will b e e n h a n c i n g t h e b u i l d i n g ' s

that they

" w a s o n e that

tinue. Shortly after restarting the lights d i m m e d , the

e n v i r o n m e n t , s e r e n a d i n g p e o p l e e a t i n g at the B M S

r e q u i r e d g r e a t d e m a n d s f r o m t h e m a n d this c o u l d

front of the r o o m w a s strongly i l l u m i n a t e d , a n d the

cafe. T h e c o n t e n t of the g i g h a s b e e n d e s c r i b e d t o

b e m a d e e a s i e r if they w e r e t o g e t h e r . "

Kevin a s : " G o i n g f r o m s e r i o u s to s i l l y " .

a m a z e d at the i m p l i e d i n s i n u a t i o n that n o n - m e d i c a l

T h e lecturer, w a s s t u n n e d , r e m a r k i n g " W h e n that

students a r e a row dy b u n c h w h o s e p r e s e n c e is not

sort of t h i n g h a p p e n s I a l w a y s e x p e c t a d i s e m b o d -

c o n d u c i v e to w o r k . Thankfully, it w a s final y e a r stu-

ied v o i c e to b o o m out: ' G o o d e v e n i n g M r B o n d . ' "

IN SEARCH OF THE LIGHT

students living in halls s u c h a s W i l s o n

felt that

their c o u r s e :

being

Kevin is

s p e n d i n g a few s e c o n d s p r e s s i n g buttons o n the T V style r e m o t e c o n t r o l , it a p p e a r e d that the lights w e r e

electronically operated

c u r t a i n s started t o c l o s e .

dents w h o h a d m a d e these c o m m e n t s . A l t h o u g h a G h o s t s , U F O s , a n d the p a r a n o r m a l . T h e r e is n o

quick

f o r u m f o r d i s c u s s i o n o f s u c h matters within I m p e r i -

G u i l d s h e e t will c o n f i r m that there is still a w o r l d o f

al C o l l e g e . K e v i n w o u l d like t o k n o w why.

di f f e r e n c e b e t w e e n the m e d i c a n d n o n - m e d i c c u l -

Kevin

comparison

between

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Feedback C O M E BACK D O C U C E N T R E , ALL IS F O R G I V E N Dear Felix, An essential student service has disappeared from the South Kensington campus. The Xerox DocUcenter, which had previously provided a range of reprographic services for a reasonable charge has disappeared. In its place there are now a couple of card operated black and white copiers, a facility which is already provided at many locations throughout college.

The DocUcenter died suddenly; just before students returned after the summer break. The day before the closure staff were happily accepting assignments, promising that they would be ready for collection later in the week. Customers returned to find signs on the doors saying the DocUcenter had been closed. The service had vanished without informing or consulting its users. In previous years changes to the copyshop have been accompanied by front page news coverage in Felix. A week or so after the start of term, the DocUcenter reopened in its present incarnation.

Today's situation has been described as an inconvenience for clubs, and a big problem for students. There is no longer anywhere on the South Kensington campus where it is possible to request that a particular chapter of a book, or a file of notes are copied, and return to collect them later.

The recent history of copyshops on the IC walkway is not particularly bright. The reason .given for the demise of the DocUcenter was that it was not making any money.

However in the past it has been proved that it is possible to run a viable copying business on the walkway. Callprint, who ran the business until May 1997 before losing the contract to Xerox, were about to embark on an expansion of their sen/ices. It was envisaged that eventually students would be able to transmit a file from any computer then collect the finished

product at the shop.

The return of a copyshop providing services such as: T-shirt printing; poster creation; laminating and binding would be of enormous use to both clubs and individuals. Copyshops are able to survive on high streets, so why not on the IC walkway?

The Senior Common Room redevelopment will provide a retail unit which would be an excellent location for a profitable copyshop.

I would suggest that there is no one better placed to run the service, than iCU. I would love to see the iCU logo plastered all over the SCR's new curvy glass walls. The business would be run altruistically, and profits used to benefit students.

As it would be providing a service for students, it should not matter if it were not a big money spinning venture. Although unlikely, in an ideal world college would look favourably on an iCU run venture, which would provide a useful service to the college community.

What i C U attempt to do, depends on what students want. If iCU does not run the copyshop it should be pushing for college to re-examine the options open to it: perhaps the copyshop contract should be put out to tender again.

This would give the large high street reprographics companies an opportunity to trade in a fantastic location, and at the same time provide a good deal for IC students.

The service that was provided by the DocUcenter and its predecessors was one that made a considerable difference to those students who used it, and will be missed.

Richard Taylor Biochemistry II

FAIR PAY F O R ALL Dear Felix, I note that our equal opportunities officer has persuaded ICU to support the NUS march for student rights at ULU this week. The

posters all state that the aims are 'No to fees & student hardship' and 'yes' to decent pay. I presume the decent pay bit is supposd to mean pay for all those students who have to work part time to suuport their studies. If this is the case, and he is serious in his aims, he need look no further than IC & iCU themseleves who both employ IC students on rates of pay barely above the very low minimum set by the Government. iCU currently pay most of their staff a paltry ÂŁ3.70 per hour while dear old ULU can only scrape a barely more together respectable ÂŁ3.88. Is it any wonder that many departmnts in the Union are short of staff this year when their pay and conditions have slipped so far behind other employers (even McD for goodness sake!) in the area. ICU should not be so hypocritical to criticise others for something it does itself.

Adrian Spankie Biology III ICU & ULU employee

E N G I N E E R S A R E BEST.....?

Dear Felix, I write in response to the letter from Matt Cockayne (RSMU President) published in Felix 1158, 22 November. In particular, I take particular pride and pleasure in answering the "big question" he invites Guilds students to ask myself and the other elected members of the C G C U Executive Committee.

Social and recreational skills can only be strengthened by an event as successful as Atlantis, our Freshers' Dinner. By all accounts, this event - attended by well in excess of two hundred people, mostly freshers - was a success and a great time was had by all who bothered to turn up. C G C U has actually managed to, additionally, make a healthy profit on the dinner; as I understand it, this

The deadline for letters intended for publication is Wednesday 12 noon - drop into the portacabins o r email felix@ic.ac.uk. Letters may be edited for length but not g r a m m a r o r spelling.

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Only a few weeks to go until the end of the year and once again the thought of end of year polls rears it's ugly head. Here in frequency I can assure you that we'll be doing the same.

Probably a best dance album, best indie album, best overall album, etc etc.

Yes, it may be unoriginal, but we all love these lists, so next week I'll be giving you details of how you can have your say. Early suggestions for best overall album include Travis, Basement Jaxx and Groove Armada, but who am I to influence your choices?

... frequency... we review music As for competitions, well we're packed full of them at the moment. This week we've got Metallica, Counting Crows and Bryan Adams CDs up for grabs. Then, in the next two weeks, you should look out for some Beastie Boys prizes and a massive Loud Records give away. There's also no shortage of well known reviews for the coming weeks, and if everything goes to plan then our Christmas bumper issue should be a beauty. Finally, for anyone still looking for clubbing ideas and doesn't need a weekend off then Alex's Cross recommendation should not be overlooked. Saturday's will never be the same again!

Mixed by Karl Tuff Enuff' Brown Pure Silk (Pure Silk)

Gatecrasher Mix Disco-Tech (INCredible)

After running things in London and ramming the P'zazz club in Aiya Napa, Pure Silk unleash their latest attack on dance music. In pursuit of music for the millennium they have selected only the finest in UK house and garage featuring a number of unreleased tracks. Produced to appeal to the wider audience, the mixing of styles will blow away all-comers. Kicking off with Pure Silk's personal intra it establishes an irresistible flow, just make sure you have a couple hours free before you start listening.

Since the emergence of the superclubs there has been no shortage of endorsed mixes on the music market. It seems as if a week never goes by without a Ministry, Cream or Gatecrasher release. These mixes also always appear to follow quite a similar line; they never seem to take the risks required to lift the mix above the many other mix CDs out there.

Currently topping the dance charts, the compilation is packed with floorfilling tunes. The mix of anthems, new releases and exclusives means the usual quota of suspect dubs and dry vocal mixes is kept to a minimum.

All tastes are catered for: the bass heads will be rocking to the phat blines of Ifs the Way and tea Trumpet Thing, anthem lovers won't get enough of Straight from the Heart and those up for the new releases will be wearing out the Artful Dodger's Rewind, which is poised to blow-up in the charts.

Karl 'Tuff Enuff' Brown is at the decks on this one and lives up to his hefty reputation. One of the biggest names in garage, the master mixer adds his inimitable style to the album, keeping it smooth for the lighter tracks and letting the cuts and tougher mixes loose on the harder tunes. The production is tight, making use of fresher versions of popular releases.

The double CD collection is linked by Karl Brown's intros and sign offs, and there are also regular reminders of whose album it is with periodic Pure Silk cut-ins. The clubs are far more suited to these effects than the compilations are.

The endorsement on this release comes from Gatecrasher. For the uninitiated, Gatecrasher is without doubt the superclub of the northeast.

Located in Sheffield and winner of Muzik's prestigious Best Club award for the last two years) Gatecrasher is only one step down from the household name that the Ministry has become.

However, the question here is not whether Gatecrasher is a good club. It is whether this mix is worth parting with fifteen pounds for.

Well, I'm sad to say this, but probably not.

One problem with these mixes is that there are far too many of them and therefore it is only the very excellent ones that stand out. Another problem is that although many of them are good mixes, many of them do sound very similar. So, with Disco-Tech the package is to be as According to the exclusive tracks the future of UK garage lies in a collab- expected - good tunes, good mixing, but sadly oration between vocalists and the effects desk. These pre-release tunes, not much to make it stand out. We get one of including a Tuff Jam-Todd Edwards partnership, will keep the garage fans the lighter mixes of the Bedrock classic Heaven jumping right through the millennium.

Scent, Paul van Dyk's storming new Avenue track and a beautiful beginning to the second This is undoubtedly essential listening, a cut above the deluge of millen- CD before the mix beaks out with the new Skip nium compilations flooding the stores. It is not often you can pick up a Raiders tune Another Day. However, these high collection of the old alongside the new, and with Mr Tuff Enuff on form points are not enough to lift this good mix to a this is the definitive house and garage assortment. The word is the album truly excellent level. My advice for anyone interhas done so well that Karl Brown has been called back to the studio to ested is still to spend the fifteen quid, but to record another hour of pure mixing. This will be released as a limited edi- spend it on Sasha's Global Underground Ibiza tion CD along with the standard compilation on 27 December. Get the mix or John Digweed's Bedrock mix, and leave album, stick it in your system, lie back and let euphoria ensue. this to those impressed by the badge. â&#x20AC;˘

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J Patch

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Bryan Adams The Best of Me (Mercury)

Metallica S&M (Universal)

Well, he's been around for a while now, but when the voice of the relatively senior soft rocker Bryan Adams rings out, fanatics will scream maniacally, whilst the rest wonder why it's such a big deal. It's true - to some he's a legend, but his world-wide acclaim doesn't reach everyone, and delving into the contents of some of his past albums it's not difficult to see why. However, credit to Adams and his production team for this, his eleventh album, a dual systematic promoting the release of his forthcoming single, title track The Best Of Me, yet also functioning as a Greatest Hits album.

I really, really wanted to slag this one off. I mean, really, this isn't on. If the world's biggest rock band playing live with a hundred and odd piece orchestra isn't a blatant gimmick to encourage fans to buy two CD's worth of old material, I don't know what is. This is Metallica, too, who hardly need the money, and have worked their way up from nothing without massive hype and exposure. I wasn't intending to give this an easy ride. But...

The problem is that this is really rather good. The concept works, to a point. A classical orchestra makes a remarkably good accompaniment to Metallica's songs. The set leans heavily in favour of material from their last two albums and their-more relaxed, organic sound is easily complemented by the orchestra. The effect varies from fairly One wonders whether he's running out of new material - media hype straightforward backing noise on Bleeding Me to more complex and interesting countsuggests the end of a glorified and successful musical career is nigh, er-melodies on The Outlaw Torn. There are a couple of new songs, which are pleasbut then maybe a Best Of... album is Adams' best way of linking recent ant enough, but don't really leap out and grab you. More interesting, though, are successes such as Ooud Number Nine and the duet with Mel C When older, thrashier songs like Master of Puppets or Battery. These are metal classics, and You're Gone with legendary hits Everything I Do (I Do It For You), Summer of '69, and Run To You. Also included is the theme song to the some people would regard this treatment as sacrilege. It sounds a bit strange, at first, 1 996 film Don Juan de Marco, Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman? but the different elements merge surprisingly well, particularly when there's more than and the 1 993 joint effort All For Love, performed with Sting and Rod just the original tune going on.

Stewart, alongside a medley of highlights from past albums. The only The overall sound, surprisingly, isn't quite up to Metallica's usual high standards. new tune on the album is The Best Of Me, which despite being pretty Frankly, the drums are too loud. Sorry Lars, but there you go. The guitars occasionalgood, falls just short of the expected mark - however it's likely to do well and fly high in the charts as a result of the massive fanbase Adams' has ly seem muted, too. It's worth it all just to hear James Hetfield singing the old songs, though - his voice has come on in leaps and bounds since the days of debut album built up over the years (Summer Of '69 was a 1 984 classic).

Kill 'Em All, and he manages to wring even more emotion out of Nothing Else Matters than he did nearly ten years ago.

The album really is a collection of Bryan Adams through the years and you've more than likely heard it all before, but here it's quite conveSo, on reflection, have they pulled it off? Not quite. This is a good album, which stands niently all in one place for you, and if you just want to skim the surface on its own merits as being well worth a closer look. As far as I'm aware' there's nothof Adams' music and take out all the best bits, then this album's defiing else like it available. It's not the Metallica we grew up with, and there will undoubtnitely for you. Of course, it's all a matter of taste and Adams is liable edly be a lot of fans who'll loathe this, but then the band have grown up too. They've to become a victim of the fashion to loathe the extreme popularity of always done what they liked, and not done badly out of it, and I'm sure that this'll be successful music, but give it a chance and it's not a bad album. There's no exception. The overall vibe is very different from their studio output, but there's still no denying he's done some good stuff in the past and this is a more the power and emotion that you'd hope for. Not perfect, a bit too long, and in places than adequate presentation of it. Has definite Christmas present potena bit pointless, but interesting - and better value than most live albums. tial.

Pete

Gareth

Competition - Bryan Adams, Counting Crows & Metallica Giveaway This week we've got all kinds of goodies to give away. To start with, we've got single copies of both the Bryan Adams and Metallica albums (both reviewed above). Then we've also got a copy of the new Counting Crows album, and five copies of their new single. Wow. If you want to win any of these goodies, simply e-mail music.felix@ic.ac.uk saying which CD you want, along with the answer to this simple question: Why have the Felix offices still not got a network connection?

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Blackalicious NIA (Mo Wax)

Nuophonic Artists 02 - Label Compilation (Nuophonic)

It's not every day that a new music release seems to jump out of my speakers and bite my ear off with such cheeky brilliance. Then again, it's not every day that DJ Shadow puts his backing to a new hip-hop crew.

For the uninitiated, DJ Shadow is one of the most understated of the true influences of music today. His debut Entroducing album has had an effect on the music of the late nineties that is perhaps unparalleled. Indeed, it could be said that the music at the cutting edge of end of millennium hip-hop would not have existed without this mighty man. Mos Def, Company Flow and Jurassic Five have a lot to thank DJ Shadow for, first with his lessons in tune construction and sampling, and now with the emergence of Blackalicious we see another super act appear from the Shadow school of beats.

Like Jurassic Five's eponymous Jurassic Five, N/A is another album that will soon take it's place among the classic albums of hip-hop. It positions itself so well with beats, sound and lyrics that it is not surprising that the mighty Shadow has had his paws on the production dials. The first single from the album, Deception, is a tune from the gods, and a number of the other tracks stand head and shoulders above any tune that any other hip-hop crew has had to offer for quite a while Blackalicious? Absolutely delicious more like. Ignore this at your peril.

D

James

What is it with even-numbered albums? I mean, as a rule the even-numbered ones are the shit ones. Yeah, you get exceptions to the rule like Nevermind

PQQPRST

and Led O

II

but the second album is rarely as good as the debut. Korn follow this rule to a tee. Their first album was a cracker with all the metal press touting them as the future. Then came Life Is Peachy and it all went pear-shaped with too much dirty sex and a dire cover of the War classic Lowrider. Follow The Leader came next and we saw a return to

form, if somewhat samey and with an annoying first twelve tracks of bugger-all before any music came on.

And now we've been given issues.

Someone really needs to tell the boys in Korn the meaning of the words "progression" and "innovation". All we have here is a rehash of the same formula that's been so dominant on all three of their previous albums. Except it's not as good the fourth time around. Jonathan Davis' vocals are still harsh and pained on the choruses and miserable on the verses, only he seems to have got as bored with the whole thing as I have. He's not giving his all to any of the tracks, even when you want to hear him coughing up a lung in those scary angry bits. Munky and Head still give it total distortion in all the right places with seven string guitars, and David and Fieldy make up the colossal rhythm section on pounding skins and funky bass respectively. So yes, all the elements of the sound are there, yet there's no life or feeling and it's gone stale.

Kom have fallen into such a big rut that the whole thing merges into a big mess of noise. It's quite an impressive wall of sound and the slapped bass/funky drumming combo still has the power to disturb, but there is nothing new. Okay, I liked the flange guitar on Somebody Someone and the bagpipes on Dead, but apart from that nothing stood out. That's not to say this won't appeal to anyone - there are still going to be kids wanting to rebel and people who think the band are cool - but it's simply too much like anything they've previously released. I'll wait until their fifth album before I say they're has-beens.

D

Christian

This compilation of tunes from the Nuphonic stable is, as you'd probably expect, a bit of a mixed bag. Most of it is in the same funked up, jazzy, chilled out vibe - but varying in quality.

With so many different artists on this album, you have to respect Nuphonic for managing to maintain a feel - I can't help feeling that while ensuring the groove continues, the quality takes a bump occasionally.

While Moving Cities by Faze Action starts off the proceedings nicely, with an acoustic mix of Hammond and violins lifting you up, Michael

by Roy Davis Jr felt like I was being brought back to earth with a bump. While the quality of his bongo player is not in question, the throaty vocals just didn't do it for me. Just to confirm the trend, The String

Thing

by Soul Ascendants

is a superb track - blending Latin rhythms, wahwahhed guitars and some deliciously dark violins.

This theme continues for the rest of the album - with standout tracks like the fantastically cheeky My Beat by Blaze followed by the slightly lame The Sky is Not Crying by Tiny Trendies.

The real downer is that Born Under Punches by Fuzz Against Junk is actually quite a good, if slightly 80-ish track - but taken after the Tiny Trendies, even Paperback Writer wouldn't have a chance to rock out. There are a couple of stinkers in there - but I can see at least My Beat becoming a bit of an underground club tune with those fronting lyrics, you can't help but smile.

The compilation is a journey - if you are prepared to take a little bit of rough with plenty of smooth, smooth grooves, you will be richly rewarded.

D

Joel

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Contempo @ ICU

Orange Can @ The Spot

Soulwax @ The Borderline

Want to work in the music industry?

Maybe it was the right night to break up with my girlfriend. This was the soul music of new starts, sweeping away old lives that don't work. A bursting disco force of rage against boredom and frustration.

Covent Garden at night is full of lost souls wandering down random alleyways, squinting at street signs and searching for that elusive venue. For the sake of all things holy, take an AZ when you go! Lamenting aside, I was in for a treat.

The bohemian coolerthan-thou crowd present seemed unfazed by the high ticket price, poor ale quality and laughable light show. Orange Can are a musician's band through and through.

Sometimes bands surprise me. They burst out on stage and blow you away with a vigour that you never expected them capable of when you saw their skinny faces in NME. Some bands, however, come across with little more than a whimper. They cruise onto the stage, play their songs and leave without more than just a slight shuffle of the feet.

Somehow, between these extremes, lies the performance of Soulwax who played the Borderline the other night. Luckily, however, the performance was one that improved as the night went on.

As well as the forever open offer of writing for this prestigious publication, this week Felix brings you the unparalleled opportunity to make your own way in the music and entertainment industry. If you have ever fancied those Access All Areas' passes or wild, drug-fuelled celebrity parties, then we have just the thing for you.

The singer Richard Archer was striking poses like a sideburned M C Hammer, his brother Steve was a bass Samurai, steeled for action. The horn section gave things an extra buzz. The crowd behind me seemed entirely formed of the band's best mates, who yelled "You beauty!" in guitarist Steve Friend's direction, obviously stunned at the most basic chords.

All the Imperial College students stood around the edges and didn't want to be seen shaking their stuff to such upfront, working class, pop. Which was a pity, as I was grasped by the urge to lose it and pogo foolishly more than once. As frontman Rich laments on Big Time Promotion

Man,

"maybe the kids don't know music."

Kier

For it is the music that dominates here - to look at them, the band seem ready for their milk and cookies and the lead singer seems indifferent to the crowd. Nonetheless, the concentration and effort are evident. The ultra-chilled tunes are clear and varied while sonic dominance is shared between keyboard and guitar.

Sure, you could dismiss Orange Can as a poor man's Beta Band, but that would be pretty shallow even by present day standards. They're unlikely to be The Next Big Thing and neither will they slip into obscurity. One for the fans, perhaps.

Hardy

Following on from the eminently forgettable opening band Turn (or Turd as one of the bar staff referred to them), the two Soulwax front men appeared on the stage dressed in snappy suits with swaggers that are usually reserved for the cooler members of society. Sadly though, this entrance was spoiled by their two opening tunes which, in this situation can be perfectly described as Turd-like. Fortunately, from there things picked up quite nicely.

Suddenly, energy oozed from the pores of Soulwax. The guitars and drums were better defined, the vocals more raw and the Borderline rocked. Not bad for a bunch of Belgians I thought, and as this was their first appearance in the country, you should expect much of these guys in time to come.

Tom

Schmooze over to the University of London Union on the 2nd December and you may find the answers to your prayers. Prepare to 'escape to your future with Sony' (you also have the chance to escape with a Sony walkman at the end of the day). Held in bars and common rooms dotted around the Union will be a conference for students interested in the media or music industries. It promises to be a truly funky occasion: 'relaxed and informal' I am told. And with speakers talking about every possible aspect of the industry you will come away clued up and ready to cut your first deal.

Get yourself down to: Palms Bar, Floor, ULU, Malet St. on 2nd December by 1 1 am.

Thorn

Request for Feedback / Reviewers The Felix Music Team meets on Tuesdays at 12:30pm in our luxury offices situated in the Portacabins next to Physics. We welcome all musical tastes and all levels of journalistic ability. So long as you are prepared to write us a review we can supply you with CDs, get you tickets for top live acts and even get you on the guest-list at some of the nation's best clubs. Likewise if you have any suggestions/rants concerning these pages then come along and see us, or drop an e-mail to music.felix@ic.ac.uk. Thanks a lot, and we'll see you soon.

c

x

y Cuban Boys C. vs. I. (EMI)

Coal Chamber feat. Ozzy Osbourne Shock The Monkey (Roadrunner)

Contempo My One Way Out (London)

This 'nu-Northern Soul' band from Staines take a fair bit of getting into, Yes! For those of you Now I don't know my metal, but I but hey, they're worth a try. The who've listened to John know what's average, and it's this. words are very headstrong (like Peel during the last two On the plus side, I'm reliably told Jarvis' "big plans" lyrical phase, but years, it's that song - in they're all tiny and cute - and yes, I maybe more grown up!) and the all its rabid, wide-eyed am a sucker for songs where they soul element is all there - falsetto psycho glory. Forget the sing "monkey!" But when that's all a backing, Space Harrier synthesiser mystery and hype, if it's song has, you know it's time to go and all. The singer's furry like Gaz really produced by Noel back to bed and get on with dodg- Coombs and croons like Damon. it's the best thing he's ing work.

Now you know. ever done. The most stupid, addictive, camp dance track of this Peelennium

Ida

A rather refreshing indie/dance cross-over from some friends on the continent. Sci-Fi instrumentals loop in the background, whilst trance beats and distorted vocals compliment the overall feel and make for a great atmosphere and one

Beastie Boys Alive (Capitol)

Apollo Four Forty Heart G o Boom (Epic) A three-minute burst through funksville with the odd bit of reggae stylee bowel-shuddering bass thrown in. No Status Quo this time around, and I guarantee the line 'diddly bop, diddly bop, diddly bop boing' will be on everybody's lips before long.

11

LeTigre Hot Topic (Wiiijaj

Queen Adreena X-ing Off The Days (Warner)

Garbage The Worid Is Not Enough (MCA)

This is released along with the current anthology The Sounds

of Sci-

and to be honest, Over the years, the genre of the basically displays all the Bond film theme has become some- musical characteristics what formulaic - lots of dark dramat- which made the Beastie ic strings, a few brass fanfares, that Boys big enough to be sort of thing - and you'd be forgiven able to release such an for thinking that maybe the songs album without looking would be sounding a little tired by stupidly optimistic. No now. However, Goldeneye and surprises then, but a Tomorrow Never Dies have shown thoroughly kicking that this is not the case, and here experience nevertheGarbage continue this trend with a less. quality tune. ence,

Lots of passionate breathy vocals over tribal drums and snarly guitar imagine Shakespeare's Sister and PJ Harvey getting together and agreeing to do something really weird. A Heavenly Surrender is so close to the latter, in fact, that she could probably claim royalties.

..Singles

reviews

Matt&Kier...

by

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Hi Pip MS •8

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W0m

Night-ln @ Home No, this is not about that Leicester Square superclub, it is about something much more important. Yes, like all good clubbers, even Boycey needs some time off and it is with this review that I urge all of you to take some time off every now and then to go home and see your parents.

I think it was due to that awful Monday feeling that prompted me to 'just say no' and take a train out to the Home Counties. Somehow, I even managed to keep this feeling with me all the way through the week to enable me to take that train. Anyway, as I expected the weekend at home was boring, dull and uninteresting. However, there is one thing I like about home - it reminds me of how good we all have it here in London.

It is also at home where I find my inspiration.

Among the inbreds and old people that flourish so prevalently in the area is the source of why I came to London and why I came to find my life the way I live it now. I suppose that some people may disagree with the way I do things, but if I don't care, why should they? And a wise man once said to his parents - if you don't ask me no questions, I won't tell you no lies.

Boycey

Recommended Clubbing

Renaissance @ The Cross ... one of the best nights around...

The first thing that strikes you about the Cross is its tiny size; it has a quoted capacity of 350. Set in four disused railway tunnels it has a low brick-lined ceiling which gives it a dark underground feel.

Everybody need a bosom for a pillow, everybody needs a bosom! Big beats, and fun, fun, fun are to be had all over the place at London's clubs.

All four of the tunnels play the same music with the DJ booth located on the darkened main dance floor in the principle cavern. The others serve as: a chill out area with seating/bar; a second quieter and brighter dance floor/bar; and a second chill out/VIP tunnel.

Also available is a chill-out garden.

Monday

Anthony Pappa started the proceedings with a well constructed set which slowly built up both tempo, tension and volume as the club filled, by 1 am the club was packed and it was time for Danny Howells to take the stage. The first hour of his set consisted of good though not necessarily awe-inspiring music, then around two he began to really assert himself on the dance floor; perfectly judged and mixed tune followed perfectly judged and mixed tune. The clearly "ecstatic" crowd loved it and responded appropriately to the music that was as good as deep house gets. Danny Howells was in control and in command.

29th November;

£8

Kickin' Latino @ The Fridge Bar; FREE! A new night at my favourite Saturday morning hang out. Apparently this night will be a hot blooded one full of all things hot and sexy!

Whether it will match the uniqueness of the Saturday morning crowd is something to be questioned though.

Tuesday

30th

November

Feet First @ Camden Palace; Jonathan and Eko rock this funky joint as the place fills with well over a thousand student types. Beer is two quid a pint, and selected bottles just a pound. It maybe more expensive than La Scandale, but you can't go there every week.

Can you?

Thursday 2nd

December

Ian Ossia followed at 4am and clearly did not suffer from 2nd DJ syndrome his "trancey", less beat orientated and more emotional style worked well and the atmosphere in the club was maintained at its peak. Indeed the emotion got too much for one group of clubers who fell into a group hug, then with tears running from their eyes, raised their arms into the air as one while the breakdown built, then erupted back into motion when the beat came back in. This is not the sort of euphoria a soul-less superclub like The Ministry or home inspires.

Highrise @ Home; Felix is visiting this prestigious venue this week for the Highrise night, so next week we'll be able to tell you what it's all about in full.

Indeed, it is the little things that make this club stand out from the pack: like the way the dance floor is full, but not so crowded you cant move, or the way they provide cool drinking water and not some unwanted pound coin demanding attendant in the toilet. I could go on for a number of paragraphs about how the little things @ The Cross better than other places, but in the make Renaissance end it's the atmosphere that makes the club and it has the best atmosphere of any London night I've been to.

Saturday

Friday

3rd

6am. It

4th

December

Renaissance @ The Cross; If you've read this week's reviews you'll know that Renaissance at The Cross is a Saturday night rarely bettered in the capital. If you've not been then maybe it's time you got down. It's not as if you need the sleep...

To have your club added

along,

Renaissance is every Saturday at The Cross from 10pm may cost £1 5, but this still represents great value

December

The Gallery @ Turmills; £8 How the guys at The Gallery manage to keep up the standard week after week we'll never know.

However, when the night's this good, how could we ever complain.

we'll check

to this list just invite us

it out and if we like it we'll

e-mail:

A/ex

put

it down

phone:

020

7594

8072

felix@ic.ac.uk ask for

James

2

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Farscape TV Series

Ali G, innit On Video

Ali G Competition

Whilst many of TV's most famous Sci-Fi series may have emanated in the sixties and seventies, the nineties has undoubtedly seen the genre's heyday.

A succession of high-budget, high-concept, productions have generated massive profits for their producers, and have opened up science fiction to a much wider audience. Surely the prospect of mainstream TV's latest offering, the Jim Henson Workshop produced Farscape, is consequently one to relish? Sadly, the answer is a definitive "no".

Farscape embodies much of what is bad about science fiction (especially on TV) - it's characters are more like caricatures, it's plot is generic and obvious, and the entire affair is far more concerned with appearances than content.

Ali G, (real name, Sacha Baron-Cohen), the inter-

This week Channel 4 have kindly donated an Ali G, innit video for one lucky reader.

So, how much do you know about the comedian who plays Ali G ? Well, you'll need to do some research and find out about the man himself to answer this week's competition question.

Firstly, to the concept. With a backstory that blatantly apes the seminal Suck Rogers, Commander John Crichton (Ben Browder), whilst out on a routine test flight, is suddenly sucked into a wormhole and thrown across the galaxy to a new space and time. His out-of-control shuttle accidentally destroys an alien "peacekeeper" ship, and he is immediately thrown aboard a strange craft, full of escaping prisoners. On board he joins the prisoners in their flight from the evil Peacekeepers (ie Galactic Empire / Dominion), and slowly he wins their respect and friendship. (Yawn).

Basically, Farscape consists of excerpts of every other Sci-Fi series you've ever seen, patched together and thrown into one ungodly whole, replete with comedic fish-like aliens, furry Yodaesque figures and the obligatory love interest (who goes by the inspired name of Officer Aeryn Sun).

Chrichton's quest to earn the aliens confidence naturally results in his humanity and conscience wearing off on all those around him (surprise), whilst the constant threat of attack leaves the door open for a stream of bad CGI effects.

viewer of the famous on The 1 I O'clock Show, has

recently found cult status in student circles. How do I know this? Simple, you hear people using his catchphrases. Often I find myself listening to people ordering ponani, not panini, from the BMS cafe. Often I find myself asking myself what flavour ponani I want to mange on that dinnertime. Tuna panini would definitely raise a snigger.

The humour derives from the ridiculousness of the whole persona. He is kitted out in expensive sportswear with the big medallion using words like 'bitches' to describe his girlfriends and using 'me' instead of 1'. Ali G tries to act and talk like he is someone from one of the darkest ghettos in Philadelphia, but his hometown is the suburban town of Staines in Berkshire. He talks of gang warfare between the Berkshire West-side massive and the East-side massive - it's just plain stupid but still hilarious.

This video has all the best bits of his interviews from the first series of The 1 1 O'clock Show. These are hit and miss, the funniest being interviews with the chief of the British Board of Film Classification and the ex-education minister Sir Rhodes Boyson ("Why don't they teach proper maths in school, why teach in kilos and grams when you should deal in ounces, quarters and eighths?").

The best bits in this video are where he goes out and about. His excursions to Wales and Northern Ireland are superb, while his trip to see the tree protesters is a gem. The music during the cut scenes is absolutely brilliant. Not only does this video poke fun at the entire gangsta culture, but it prods its music as well.

It's only with programmes of this calibre that you realise quite how good The Next Generation was..

To buy this video, you need to be a big fan. He is an acquired taste, but exposure to his brand of humour (if you are not easily offended) could turn you into an Ali G convert. Nuff said. Innit.

â&#x20AC;˘

HHIHn

Dave

Captain

Nemo

Where did Sacha Baron-Cohen (Ali G) go to university and what did he study?

E-mail film.felix@ic.ac.uk before 12pm on Wednesday 1 December with the correct answer and maybe you could be the proud owner of an Ali G, innit video.

Winners of last week's competition have all been notified by e-mail so go and see if you're a winner. G o on, do it now! Details of how to collect your prize will be contained in the e-mail.

Odeon Kensington Offers For those of you who don't know, Felix has booklets that entitle you to see a free film, once you go to see three others at the Odeon Kensington.

The booklets include vouchers that will get you a large popcorn and drink for the price of a small one and money off Heat or Empire magazine. If you want a booklet just call into the Felix office and ask for an Odeon booklet. There's plenty for everyone.

If you already have one and want another one just come to the Felix office and pick one up and make sure to tell all your friends about the booklets too. Watch this space for further offers from Odeonl Helen

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Taxi

The Astronaut's Wife

Moving from his usual role of director, Luc Besson writes and produces his latest film, Taxi. Set in Marseille, speed-freak taxi driver Daniel (Samy Naceri) is caught racing through town by newly promoted Police Officer Emilien (Frederic Diefenthal). Under the threat of losing his licence, Daniel is coerced into helping catch a gang of German serial bank robbers. It quickly becomes clear, after Emilien's bungling antics, that he is fighting for his job but more importantly, at least to him, the heart of his stunning blonde superior. The resulting action is everything you expect from a Besson production - fast paced, stylish, original and funny.

Wife belongs in that category of movies which don't know whether they are a science fiction movie or a straight out and out thriller. Unfortunately, the movie tries to combine elements from both genre and so falls into the gap occupied by movies such as Species or Event Horizon.

Admittedly, I found Event Horizon slightly better than this, but I thought Species was absolute and utter garbage.

The Astronaut's

The movie stars Johnny Depp as Spencer Armacost, an astronaut who, whilst on a routine Shuttle mission, mysteriously loses contact for two minutes. He returns to earth alive and is subsequently decorated as a hero. Charlize Theron plays Jillian Armacost, Spencer's loving wife The direction by Gerard Pires is excellent; particularly the car who realises that something is amiss with him after his arrival from space. Spencer quits the space program and proceeds to a new job in sequences which are arguably better those seen in last summers Ronin.

New York, a city that he previously hated.

At times you even feel sick as the cars race through the narrow streets.

This realism was achieved by Pires insistence on filming in real time instead of shooting in slow motion and speeding the footage up. A In the meantime, Jillian discovers that she is pregnant with twins, news number of top rally drivers using 1 10 cars travelling at speeds of up that thrills Spencer. But as time moves on, Jillian proceeds to experito 1 20mph meant areas of the city being blocked off for days at a ence haunting nightmares and strange sounds that seem to coincide with reality. Her increasing sense of paranoia is fuelled by the ramtime. Despite this, the film was shot in only 2 7 days. blings of an ex-NASA employee, who tracks her down to tell her that all is not well with Spencer. As Spencer's actions become increasingly However, Taxi is not another Hollywood clone. The music is all written deranged, Jillian realises that she is in a race against time to find the and performed by 1AM, a French rap group with origins in Marseille. truth and to stop its consequences.

The characters are old favourites, which lends a certain innocence to the film. Emilien is naive and inept. Daniel on the other hand is streetThe premise and basic set-up of the movie is intriguing enough (if not wise, fast-talking and betrays a cool that even James Bond would be original) and the movie starts off well. The director Ravich, who directjealous of. Supporting characters are almost cartoonish in their stereopaces the first hour well and halfway through the movie ed Candyman, typing. Don't get me wrong, this film is not cheesy. It just shows a fracwe get the sense that this could actually turn out to be a good movie. tion of Daniel and Emilien's lives without the need for character analyBut just as it starts getting interesting, the movie loses its way and the sis. Another great point is the obliviousness to modern feminism and final outcome just doesn't ring true and seems like it's been tacked on. the Franco-German relationship, with a level of political incorrectness This can't be helped by some lacklustre acting by Theron, whilst Johnthat Hollywood could only dream of. ny Depp, in the supposedly pivotal title role, is stuck with a thankless character with very little to do, thus leaving his acting talents to go to Originally filmed in French, it is available in the UK in two formats subtitled and dubbed. Generally foreign language films are better waste. subtitled but ÂŁ1 00k has been spent on the dubbed version employing the London accents of Danny Dyer (Human Traffic) and Jason Fleming The movie is billed as a psychological thriller but it never seems to (Lock, Stock...) to replace the Marseille French. The only disappointing achieve the thrills that it's striving for, instead settling for a slight sense thing is the film's length - a mere 85 minutes. But, had it been longer of unease. Like many recent Hollywood flicks, the main downfall of the the sheer momentum - one of the film's greatest assets - would have movie is the end, which seems like far too simple a resolution and been lost. Overall this is superb entertainment and great fun. Don't let makes the film-watcher seem cheated. Staying for half the movie is the subtitles put you of, it's a must see. advised, but maybe you'd like to walk out before the final reel.

Katberine

and

Dave

â&#x20AC;˘

Imran

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Balm In Gilead

Anna Weiss Whitehall Theatre - ÂŁ1 0 standby - Charring Cross Tube This is not an easy play to watch. It is one and a half hours, non-stop, of confrontation and tantrum. The three characters - a condescending and manipulative hypnotherapist who has 'recovered' a daughter's memories of sexual abuse at the hands of her father - have a hard time of it on stage, but they manage to make the tears and fits seem convincing. The daughter (Shirley Henderson) in particular was very good, and her jittery unease and instability were unforced.

Fringe Debate

Courtyard Theatre - ÂŁ6, Sun. pay what you can- Kings Cross The Courtyard Theatre have put on a play about "the riffraff, the bums, the petty thieves, the scum, the lost, the desperate, the dispossessed and the cool"; they've set it in Kings Cross.

It happened in the Gielgud theatre and hardly any body went which, I suppose, is the whole problem.

I went expecting to meet the usual suspects: junkies, prostitutes, pimps, and alcoholics determined to make a life from their unfortunate situation; perhaps a worthy version of "Rent", but without the songs. Ba/m in Gilead was written in New York thirty years ago, and the action has been transferred to a Kings Cross all-night cafe. The customers are mainly working girls - the economic engines of this tiny world. Pimps and dealers, living off the earnings of the girls, are also represented in the large cast

On the panel was Ben Brown (a "promising young playwright"), Nica Burns (representing the production and management side), Ian Brown (a director), and Timberlake Wertenbaker (a more established writer).

You only see a snippet of the story- it's been over a year since the allegations were first made and the play takes place on a single day. The situation comes to a head when the daughter confronts her father about what he has done. Accusations fly between all three of them and nothing gets resolved, which leaves a sense that little has There is no common narrative, the stories of different people unfold in close proximity across the cafe and yet have actually happened. little impact on one another. The dialogue switches back At times it is gut-wrenchingly moving, but once the wail- and forth between the different plot threads with an energy ing really gets under way there are more moments of that contrasts with the gloomy situation, the central thread cringing than anything else and you leave with no real following a half-hearted dealer and the American he meets lasting feelings for any of the characters. Quite an by chance over coffee. The American could easily have achievement considering the seriousness of the topic - been irritating as hell but Jennifer Merna plays her with a but the cause of this is that no one was sure of what actu- refreshing lightness and grace, creating intimacy amid ally happened. Everyone's memories were unreliable crowded action. The piece is peppered with monologues, and each had a completely conflicting story. You end up the best of which provide real insight, although a few didsiding mainly with the father because it's hard to believe n't hit the mark. Particularly affecting was the speech by a that this little man in a suit could have done the things he young junky, which ended the first half. is being accused of, and the therapist is so screwed up In the end, the play had no resolution. A drug dealer died herself you can imagine her planting false memories. but the stories had all begun again and the play ended I feel it was a bit insensitive. To put so much emphasis on much as it had begun. Everyone was trapped in the circle, the actual abuse when it was really talking about the which they had entered through choice but could not unreliability of memory almost undermines the suffering escape. This production very effectively demonstrated what of real victims. Although it does highlight the problem of it had set out to prove, but the message is perhaps less false memory and the damage it can cause to people, fresh than it was thirty years ago. It is not that the situation the play could have done this equally effectively with a lit- is less tragic, but perhaps, thanks to TV, it is more familiar. tle more subtlety.

The atmospheric theatre (with its sufficiently decayed set) Too graphic, too bewildering and, surprisingly, too was largely empty - which is a shame as this is a play well worth seeing. empty.

Judith

Adams

Gielgud Theatre - 24th Nov.

Tom

The debate - or general good natured agreement, as it turned out to be - focused on the problem for new writers of bridging the gap between fringe and big time success.

It was agreed that it is much harder nowadays to make such a break. Many reasons for this were cited, but none were really followed through.

New playwrights are often tempted to give the audience something "familiar or unchallenging" just to make it popular, to make it sell this has to be damaging in the long run in the search for original new theatre.

I think that the biggest problem is the hit and miss attitude of the fringe. What you see may be fab, but could just be shite. General members of the public are not prepared to take that risk for the price of an average ticket.

Ben

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Cool Classics and Books You Should Have Read The Buddha of Suburbia, Hanif Kureishi

• ; Free.'O:

Let me introduce you to Karim Amir, an Englishman. He is, however, in his own words 'a funny kind of Englishman, a new breed... having emerged from two old histories' - those two histories being English and Indian.

He,; Tube; W i m l .

.

iV\'/:

C3,

We first meet Karim at the end of his education, when he is tired of school, tired of the suburbs and tired of all the images imposed on him by other people. He is sure that as soon as he leaves school, grows up and finds a vocation things will be okay. But as Karim finally realises, adults are only people too.

This is a wonderfully written book - satirical and anarchic but still genuine. Karim's bemusement at the antics of those around him are well conveyed by use of the first person. The book is more than just a social comment. We can all empathise with Karim as he crosses the rocky boundary between child and adult and comes to terms with what he discovers on the other side. Karim is also a good candidate to tell us about the lives of those around him because Karim is a drifter - with no real purpose in his own life he avidly follows the lives of others, gets swept up in them and then dropped again. As the world around him changes from the slow, hippy seventies to the fast-paced, materialistic eighties Karim centres on his own family and friends and the ways in which they overcome obstacles to fulfil their dreams, and in some cases find love.

• •

/

' - ' a .

.

•

'

i . ; ,

,

Kureishi has written many books, plays and films centring on life in suburbia and race relations in England. His first, My Beautiful Laundrette, received an Oscar nomination in 1984 for best screenplay. The Buddha of Suburbia has been translated into 20 languages and won the Whitbread prize for best novel. It was also made into a four-part drama series by the BBC in 1 993.

D

Katherine

ces with 15% off the missed.

Join a first rate section, for a first rate future.

A fast paced environment where you can have the opportunity to determine your own future. A place where highly motivated individuals get ahead. A group oriented team effort to tell the world about books. The Books section at Felix, where all of your reading dreams come true, and you get free books. To join this world beating team, email rc97@ic.ac.uk or stop by the Felix office at 1 2:00pm on Thursdays.

• MICHAEL f Waterstones, 193 Hiah St Ken 12:3C The globetrotter ture'.

Free, 0171 937

IMPERIAL COLLEGE I R A N I A N SOC

•DATE:

Sunday, 5th December 99

•PLACE: SCR, IMPERIAL COLLEGE, SOUTH KENSINGTON •TIME: 5:00 PM to 11:30 PM TICKETS: £5 MEMBERS, £6 STUDENTS, £8 OTHERS

EVERYBODY WELCOME!!!

^

Info; m.shaeri@ic.ac.uk, m.r.chapman@ic.ac.uk

9

s

7

In

gamesMire.com A

Games News: Long

Jet Force Gemini

World League Soccer

Awaited Releases

(N64)

2000 (N64)

Only a small games section this If you've got a little too much time on your hands this game will more than adeweek, but as the pre-Christmas quately fill this passage and then some. A beautiful smooth creation, Jet Force games rush hots up the next few Gemini introduces you to a futuristic fantasy world where Starship Troopers weeks will see loads of eagerly meet Star Wars with a hint of cult. awaited titles finally hitting the shelves. My favourite has to be You control two skiing clothed characters (and a dog) around more levels than Half Life: Opposing Force. An offi- I'd care to imagine, trying to blow apart giant pistol packing ants whilst rescucial add on pack for my (and pret- ing Tribals (furry little Ewok type creatures). ty much every one else's) favourite PC game, Half Life. Never before Jumping, bobbing, shooting stuff down and generally kicking ass to moody lithas an expansion pack for a game tle backbeats, this game takes a while to master but once done the controls are been the subject of so much like second nature. The firing is auto-aiming if pointing in the direction of vilexpectation. From the previews it lainous scum, and you can pick off annoying snipers with a targeting facility. looks amazing and I can't wait to With a range of multi-talented teammates to find and use it is possible to tagget my hands on it. team it through the different levels using each character's special ability. The Also out this week is Unreal Tour- wide range of exotic weaponry, cheats, new levels and hidden stuff (apart from nament. With loads of hectic mul- the absolutely massive worlds - only rivalled by Zelda for sheer size) ensures tiplayer combat options and excel- that there is enough to keep even the console hardened nutcase happy. lent Bots to fight if no humans will play with you, this looks like being A nice feature is the added intelligence of the nasty bad boys who can be seen a strong competitor with Quake 3 hiding behind cover before shooting your ass. It makes their final disintegration for the First Person Shooter crown. into fly covered body parts all the more fun.

And finally, can I just say that after playing Rogue Spear multiplayer pretty much continuously since our review of it was published, its official Felix rating has gone up to a phenomenal five out of five - any serious PC gamer must buy Rogue Spear

now!

So, aside from the gusset wetting graphics, atmospheric music and crotch hardening size, how does it compare to the master (Go/deneye)? Favourably is my opinion. Once the controls are mastered this stands as a ripping little gem.

The multiplayer option is a little weak, and has a last minute rush-job feeling about it. The control system makes it hard to handle the character when up close and personal. More interesting than multiplayer is the 'cooperative' mode. During the one player game, you can put together a robot named Floyd. When Floyd is complete, a second player can control Floyd and help out in the main game. Very cool. To complete the game, however, all the Tribals must be located which can become a little tiresome.

These problems will stop JFG progressing to cult status, however nobody would feel hard done by if they spent their hard-earned cash on this little beauty. In fact (after Go/deneye and Zelda) this should be a must for any self-respecting N64 owner.

Chr

It was only a matter of time before the wunderkind Michael Owen released a football game. Wee Mike Soccer is fronting World League 2000

on the N64. The game has a

full selection of international and club players from the world's premier squads. It also has a variety of games from exhibition matches to league and cup games. I'm not really into football games, but what made this one stand out was its high quality of gameplay and the ease of control. The thing that stopped me playing football games was that the gameplay was frustrating and you couldn't pass the ball where you intended. WLS 2000 changes all that. The game is very fluid and easy to get into. You don't have to fiddle about with any complicated controls; pulling off a bicycle kick couldn't be easier.

In addition to the slick gameplay, 2000 contains some brilliant footballing venues with sumptuous stadiums complete with cheering crowd, billboards and big screen TVs. The graphics are top-notch, which just adds to the game's playability. The players are solid and chunky, but have surprisingly fluid and realistic movements. The sound is quite good too but the commentators get a bit annoying (too realistic).

WLS

To sum up, WLS 2000

is a highly

playable and enjoyable football game. Well done fellas!

ID

Mark

8

n

x

V

F y

I

n

9

N

I

D

y

A

Y

y

y

STA Quiz Night

Excess

Shaft

Southside pub quiz

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continues today.

Christmas Carnival Three floors of B o n d

7 p m Southside bar

Tha'

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Bomb

I C ' s m o s t in d e m a n d DJ m a n a g e s t o

on sale s o o n .

s q u e e z e I C U i n t o his schedule.

Friday 3rd December imperial College.

South Kensington.

Fancy Dress (optional) prize for best dressed.

, .

10pm, U D H

Archery 6-10pm, Proje :tile

Canoe Club

CAG

Practice session, 7 p m

Soup run, 8 . 1 5 p m H a l l (Sports Cent'-p)

Week's

Basement

Queen's Lawn, 7pm Trip to Hampstead

I

IQ Safer Sex meeting,

Kung Fu Club

Kung Fu

(Wu S h u Kwan)

(Wu S h u Kwan)

Club

Southside G y m 4:30pm - 6:30pm

4:30pm - 6'30pm

ICU Choir

7 . 3 0 p m , Brown

Rehearsal,

Committee

Room 3 4 2 , Mech

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6.15pm

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Eng.

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•I ^rr^I

.. e r r

112<chariQtfX) r

c

THIS! @ Bar Rhumba; £4 Ben Wilcox, G i l e s

onjcj;]

Peterson a n d Alex p l a y a d i v e r s e set f o r

...

m

TV

What

d o y o u mean

you've never heard of

. -eetiff;

First, a n e s t a b l i s h e d

a diverse c r o w d .

The World is Not Enough

Basement Jaxx @ Forum; £ 1 2 . 5 0

Palace; £5

,

Ratcatcher

David Bowie @ Astoria; £ 2 0

Jamiroquai @ Shepherd Bush Empire; £ 2 5 / £ 2 0

T o e fti.xrer- eg,-

o n a s u p e r b live

T i c k e t s a r e still a v a i l -

O u r reviewer liked

s h o w w i t h a party

able

atmosphere.

you book soon.

The d a n c e d u o put

rYou'd

H a i l e d a s t h e best

The Astornaut's Wife

British f i l m o f 1 9 9 9 .

;i A horror-turned -thri i I er ir i n g , l o w b u d g e t d e b u t

Worth a look.

James Bond?

with J o h n n y D e p p a n d

Following

East is East

Taxi

This th ou g ht p r o v o k -

A n o t h e r Bri t i s h f i l m !

Written a n d p r o d u c e d

T h i s t i m e it's a p o p u -

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Virgin Fulhan Rd.

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3.40, 6.30, 9.20

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ER

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Sky O n e , T 0 . 0 0 p m

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It's C h r i s t m a s , s o

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e x p e c t a few., m i r a c l e s

d o u b l e e p i s o d e that

6.20pm

N e w sci-fi s e r i e s

it's or

BBC2,

f r o m the Jim H e n s o n

that }!

Your money paid for

stable. See review o n

series

the d a m n t h i n g - s o t a k e a n interest.

page 2 2 .

8.00pm

9.00pm

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l i v e set s h a p e u p ?

Good

performances

C l a i r e D a n e s a n d Kate Beckensdale team up in a h a r r o w i n g tale o f

O d e o n Swiss C o t t a g e

the T h a i d r u g s t r a d e

4.20, 6.40, 9.00

4.15, 6.30, 8.50

a n d ju dicia l system.

Blind Date ITV, 7.10pm

Sky S p o r t s 1, 3 . 0 0 p m

A p p a l t n g l y b a d , yet

After weeks o f non-

•...b •

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.. -err:' ' - r:r rcsri'fiiir

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Must see TV

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:

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t i o n f o r t h e f u t u r e by

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p r e s e n t this a d a p t i o n

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- It's Lush g o s e e it.

Ayckbourn.

a h e a d of their time.

of t h e C l a s s i c .

(and Chitty Chitty

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n t s

iempi

Bang Bang) -

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The Felix Crossword, by Turnip Henry Across

WIN THEATRE TICKETS Return your completed copy of this crossword to the Felix Office before the end of the week to be in with a chance of winning a pair of tickets to DramSoc's groundbreaking production of Dirk, based on Dirk Genttey's Holistic Detective Agency by Douglas Adams. The spectacular performance will be the world's first independent showing of this technically demanding play, so pencil the 8-11 December into your diary now (tickets will be available from the Union Office very, very soon). The closing date for entries to the competition is noon on Friday, so don't hang around.

Down

1. Excavate computer with fin- 1. Percussive picnic essential. ger. (5) (9) 3. Get new name from dumpy 2. Spirit short German drinks ones. (9) with root vegetable. (6) 8. Unable to rearrange stars.

4. Person who gets about hit(6) ting people. (7) 5. Cruel, disfigured, open 9. Imperial salad. (6) sore. (5) 1 1 . Speak rhythmically , at dock, of an understand- 6. Stopwatch is broken: Well done. (5) ing. (7) 1 3. Aunt or son has body. (5) 7. Fish pitcha'. (4) 10. Second rate metal. (6) 14. Get excited about dance.

1 1. Grows from broken shoe in (4) rip. (7) 16. Dupe Birmingham arena 12. Unimportant pursuit. (7) before tea, to join. (7) 1 8. The opposite in stanza. (7) 15. Saint of sport, Alfred, has blokes on top at that time 20. Flightless fruit. (4) of the month. (9) 21. AMstair, in the way that an 1 7. Sounds I get in sensory alter-ego is. (5) organ. (6) 24. Important to dig up oval 19. To grow the Nazi secret pit. (7) police, infiltrate flower. (7) 27. Spoilt ruined gun. (6) 22. Part of the foot that walks 28. Possibly evil vodka. (6) together. (6) 29. Gasp! Oh, silent acting for 23. Spinner is out of bed for silly play. (9) more drink. (3-2) 30. In my eyes, a class mem25. Religion relocates Liam ber. (5) around the South. (5) 26. Corrosive drug. (4) Answers to Across:Cast, Psalm, Itself, Cupid, Rupee, Amanda, Needle, Nurse, Ranting, Chair, Tasteless, Godfather, Regal, Embrace, Anger, Sundae, Orchid, Orbit, Image, Nylons, Perch, Tyke.

Down:Apple, Tidal, Terminate, Sprang, Leper, Scant, Fungi, Fete, Dwarfs, Erratum, Sensor, Nettles, Chopin, Flagon, Armadillo, Erotic, Bacon, Sewer, Atom, Gable, U.M.I.ST., Drank.

Funmail says have a beer on us.co.uk!

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The Rules: 1. ) The judge's decision is final 2. ) The prize cannot be substituted 3. ) Multiple entries are perfectly acceptable 4. ) Only registered students and staff of Imperial College may enter the contest 5. ) Felix staff cannot win. (No, really) 6. ) No cheating (please)

9

s

1

BUNAC MATT BAILEY

v i b r a n t c i t i e s in t h e w o r l d .

A f t e r a g o o d d a y in N e w Y o r k

Fancy

going

abroad

with

m o r e than £ 4 0 0 in y o u r

little

pocket?

exactly w h a t

counsellors to b e working o n the c a m p w i t h m e . I a r r i v e d t o f i n d that

Sounds t o o g o o d to b e true?

W e l l that's

it w a s o f f t o c a m p w i t h o n e o f t h e

I did

I was to spend

m y time

looking

this s u m m e r . I w e n t t o t h e U S o f A ;

after

my

b e g i n n i n g o f c a m p I t o o k the kids

flights

a n d m y first

nights

the teenage

boys.

At

the

a c c o m m o d a t i o n in N e w York were

a r o u n d t o a l l o f the activities. T h e

p a i d for, a n d I h a d t h e s u m m e r o f

funniest thing I r e m e m b e r

my

to

life.

I achieved

this

feat by

b o o k i n g myself o n a B U N A C

sum-

my teenage

boys,

saying,

w a s "right

g u y s , its t i m e f o r s e w i n g " . T h e w o r k

mer c a m p p r o g r a m m e . B U N A C , in

was really c h a l l e n g i n g , a s I h a d t o

case you've

never heard of them,

m a k e sure all the kids w e r e receiv-

a r r a n g e w o r k i n g holidays f o r stu-

ing e n o u g h attention, all the time,

dents a n d y o u n g p e o p l e t o p l a c e s

but

like A m e r i c a ,

especially

Canada,

Australia,

N e w Z e a l a n d , South Africa a n d a

it w a s a l s o

thank

when

very

rewarding

t h e kids

y o u o r s a y "Matt

would I'm s o

selection o f d e v e l o p i n g countries.

happy". O f c o u r s e , there were rare

You c a n either c h o o s e to find a j o b

times

in o n e o f t h e s e p l a c e s , o r w o r k o n

weren't

one

m o m e n t s w e r e o u t w e i g h e d by t h e

of the summer

America - B U N A C

camps

in

simply provide

when

good

y o u wished

there,

times.

H u m

t h e kids

but these

rare

The American

kids

the o p p o r t u n i t y f o r y o u t o g o , b y d i d n ' t t u r n o u t t o b e a s bratty a s organising well

your

working

as helping

visa as

t h e o n e s p o r t r a y e d i n A m e r i c a n sit-

o u t c o m s a n d I m a n a g e d to establish

you to get

there. I t h o u g h t a s u m m e r spent in

a r e a l l y g o o d r e l a t i o n s h i p with a l l

a f o r e i g n country a c t i n g in a c o u n -

of t h e m .

sellor role with good

idea,

kids w o u l d

so I

be a

decided

to

become a special needs counsellor o n a s u m m e r

camp

in

New

York.

After t w o months at c a m p , I couldn't wait

the

East

weeks

After

a n informal

interview

I

t o g o travelling. A

friend a n d I d e c i d e d to g o a r o u n d

enjoy

Coast

of travel

by train.

In

two

w e m a n a g e d to

the delights

of N e w York,

like

visit Bill C l i n t o n ' s h o u s e i n W a s h -

a g e s t o f i n d o u t if I h a d g o t a p l a c e

i n g t o n D C , visit N e w O r l e a n s , s a y

had

t o wait

f o r what

seem

I found out

h e l l o t o Elvis i n M e m p h i s a n d t h e n

that I w a s s u c c e s s f u l a n d w h e r e I

g o w h i t e w a t e r r a f t i n g in P i t t s b u r g h ,

would

before

at

camp.

Eventually

be going.

elation

that

T h e feeling of

I experienced w a s

r e t u r n i n g just s l i g h t l y tired

to N e w York.

s o o n f o l l o w e d by t r e p i d a t i o n , a s I

All

in a l l , I have

never h a d

realised exactly w h a t I h a d s i g n e d

such a g o o d s u m m e r a n d met s o

myself u p f o r - ie u p t o three a n d a

many

half m o n t h s in a f o r e i g n

country

p e o p l e . If y o u w a n t t o d o t h e s a m e

with p e o p l e I h a d n e v e r m e t . O n c e

it is i n c r e d i b l y e a s y t o d o , s o d o n ' t

I h a d g o t t o the airport,

wait!

and

met other

people

however, going to

different

Contact

for m or e

Katie

Smith

o r me

i n f o ; if y o u w a n t t o g o

y o u won't regret y o u r d e c i s i o n . S o

sided. O n the plane everyone w a s

m a n y p e o p l e nearly g o , but never

c h a t t i n g , a s k i n g p e o p l e w h e r e they

motivate themselves e n o u g h to get

were

there.

a n d what

they

were

doing, a n d imbibing large quantities o f f r e e a l c o h o l . A f t e r s t a g g e r -

ing o n t o t h e ' B U N A C

bus' t o t h e

vided in N e w York, w e a l l spent a

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DISCOVER A COUNTRY LOW COSTS, PRE-ARRANGED JOBS, UP TO SIX WEEKS TRAVEL

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DO SOMETHING EXCITING THSI SUMMER

W h a t are you waiting for? Sign

ing t h r o u g h p a s s p o r t c o n t r o l , pi l -

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WORKING ADVENTURES WORLDWIDE

a n d interesting

c a m p , those feelings quickly sub-

going

B U N A C

night e x p l o r i n g o n e o f the most

WANT TO SEE YOUR CLUB OR SOCIETY LISTED HERE? THEN CONTACT DAVID ROBERTS VIA FELIX@IC.AC.UK

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9

3

Outdoor Club bolstered somewhat by the slow scrapy upper section leading to a kamikaze run on the Gorge by almost Two weeks ago, Imperial College everyone present. To no one's surCanoe Club went off to North Wales prise carnage followed, and viewing in search of some rivers and a bit of the whole affair from the Breaker (at fun. Here's what we found.... the bottom) I could normally glance Following a tour round most of West London looking for the White- up to see three or four boats pinned at various points. Oh, and a nutter water Canoe Centre, where Garth, (Ross) leaping from rock to rock fendHicksy, and I hoped to buy our new kit we rocked up as they were shut- ing off flailing kayaks and collecting various kit. Louise was doing well until ting. Still, with ÂŁ1550 in hand they she went for the old Hicksy excuse as decided to stay open for a while, and she tried to break (fairly successfully) soon after we were walking out with some spanky new kit for Louise to her paddle. The new curvature must have confused the poor girl, who trash. The drive back was made more enjoyable as "Window-Garth", whilst soon swam. Other spectacular pins were by Klaus actually on the breaksitting in a traffic jam, went to throw er, and Paula in a pretty vertical posihis head out the window to check for stray pedestrians, without remember- tion a little further up. A good fun way to finish the day's paddling. ing to check if the window was open first!

Chile in the hut (best yet?) then off up to the pub for some drinks. A Back at the stores, things had perhaps-too-Iate attempt to get some been efficiently sorted, and with the addition of our two new boats we en-masse drinking games going were off. Arriving in the hut, the group failed abysmally, due either to my slurred organisation powers at the became more lively with everyone having a laugh, not least when it time, or the apparent ineptitude amongst us (I suspect a bit of both). A emerged that Klaus and Simon had forgotten their sleeping bags! Intro- sober rehearsal of some basic games before the next trip should perhaps ductions to the large Irish contingent replace a future pool session... Still, drafted in by Carl, a few beers and an drinking continued well into the night, Irish song or two later, we were off to even without the impetus of drinking bed. games. A sober driver to take us back Off to the Aber Glaswyn river, proved novel (we normally walk, not due largely to few other options drink and drive). One more thing (although a clear club favourite for remained before we could go to bed trips anyway). Group confidence was NIGEL T H A C K E R

- the initiation ladder back in the hut, with valiant efforts by almost everyone, despite Garth showing his age (and hideous gut) as he struggled for some time. I think a few girls even made it up.

A late awakening on Sunday and we were off to paddle the Flygwy.

Probably the most excitement for the group was the sight of Hicksy scraping and bouncing down the Miners Falls, taking drops in various positions of forwards, backwards, upright, and not-upright. Then a good scrape down the remainder of it for us, tak-

ing the odd opportunity for a swim to relieve the adrenaline.

By five o'clock we had all eaten lots, had a good weekend's paddling and were in the bus heading back. A fantastic first trip, so thanks to everyone who came.

To join the Canoe Club email us (see below) or join us at the Big Blue Shack on the walkway at 7pm on Tuesdays for Canoe Polo.

Contact Nigel slappers@ic.ac.uk

Amnesty International PATRICK B R A N N A C

tant past, such as that depicted in the internationally recognisable blue museums such as Madam Tussaud's. of the UN stood over them. That Richard Reoch, a long time Amnesty He referred to a recent event of tor- international teams of soldiers are International member and human ture where a man was detained and now called in to investigate these rights activist, recently visited Imperi- tortured by the Turkish authorities kinds of incidents is, he said, a bold al College to give a lecture entitled using electrodes attached to his gen- new step out of the age where 'Human Rights: is the world getting itals and toes. Torture, he said, has absolute power could not be held better or worse?' In attempting to not stopped with 'civilisation'; today's accountable for its actions. The trial answer this question he pointed to technology can be perverted to of General Pinochet has shown that the thousands of years of recorded exact a level of physical pain sur- further steps away from this age history where heads of state tradi- passing all previous efforts. (covering most of recorded history) tionally enjoyed absolute power with Despite such a pessimistic back- are being made. He concluded that accountability to no one. This has ground, he showed a picture that he the UN, Amnesty International and conventionally led to brutal human says could epitomise a new way of other organisations, can together rights violations such as torture. He government. The slide was of a mas- allow for an optimistic future where questioned the common held stereo- sacre in Khana, Lebanon, where the the world really is getting better. type of torture as something that slain refugees were covered in blan- Whether this recent emphasis on happened only in the dark and dis- kets whilst unarmed soldiers wearing human rights becomes just a histori-

cal blip in an otherwise bleak timeline, or the foundations upon which this better world will be based relies on the actions and involvement of individuals who are prepared to work for the latter.

If you would like to join Amnesty International at Imperial College, or would just like more information, contact Alan (see below), or come along to our next meeting, this Monday (5th Dec.) at 1 pm in the Brown Committee Room (top floor of the Union). It's time to get off the fence.

Contact Alan alan.cheng@ic.ac.uk

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Biannual report time

Women finish top

Kendo Its been six months since we reported to you on our glorious victory at the University Championships. Well, we're back. Saturday 20th November saw the 26th International Kendo Clubs Championship. As the name suggests, it is one of the most prestigious kendo competitions in Europe, with over 60 teams entering from around the world. It was even more special for the ICU Kendo Club, as it was only the second match in the relatively young history of the team. So there we were, the whole lot of us to support the two players who represented our team: Koichiro and Tak. Despite the general lack of sleep among all members, our team made a promising start and won the first two matches, but eventually we lost to the championship winners (final score 2-3). Our guys put up a real fight, for which they were credited with comments that their match

Volleyball

was just as, in not more, entertaining than the final! A special round of applause goes to Tak, who no doubt was the least experienced player in the championship (Remember, we've only been training for about 5 months) but showed one of the best fighting spirits and a great potential for the future. Well done!

Even though the rest of us weren't fighting, the organisers were sure to keep us busy. In kendo, a minimum of five people is required to run each two minute long match, and without Imperialtrained rigorous workers, the matches couldn't have run.

Despite the defeat of our own team, we still had things to celebrate - our much loved teacher and coach, Emiko, won the ladies individual event. Last but definitely not least, a very special thanks to Mr Mabuchi for representing us as part of the Imperial squad.

It is now official! Imperial College Volleyball Club has the best Women's team in London! O u r superb players beat UCL 3-1 last week and thereby clinched top place in the BUSA London competition.

And what a superb match it was! After loosing the first set, due to a succession of unforced errors which saw the opposition build-up a lead of 15 points, IC came back and clinched 3 sets in a row to win the match. But there was tension all the way through it wasn't easy, believe me! The 2nd and 4th sets were incredibly close, since in both of them the teams were levelled at 23-23, two points before the end!

So, nail-biting stuff as usual, but Imperial's women showed

their characteristic grit and winning spirit that enabled them to finish on top. Everybody played well, but special mention has to be given to Janice, since it was her attacking serve in the first set that provided the clue to what the tactics in the following sets should be (nice lesson to the coach...) Cheers too to the brave captain, Sandrine, who cleverly asked for a substitution near the closure of the match so that she could rest for a couple of minutes, and then came back onto the field to win the match with a serious of deciding blocks and a fantastic last serve. And what about the attacking and digging skills showed by Courtney, Lucia and Raphaelle! Wow! That's all I have to say!

Think your team rocks?

Then tell us about it!

IC boys aren t easy Ultimate Frisbee The weekend of the 20th and 21 st November saw the Student Indoor Ultimate Qualifiers for the Southeast region held at Sussex University. The majority of the Imperial crew descended to Brighton at some ungodly hour on Saturday morning, to be there for the 9.30 start. The first three matches would be from within a pool of four teams, and the top two in each pool going then went into the quarter final playoffs (with the winners of the playoffs guaranteed a place in the national student indoor finals).

points on the trot, and Fukwit calmed down after his first drop to prove that he was a damn fine injury substitute. Towards the end, Kings snatched one last point, but we finally won 6-4. After our "warm up game" we then had to face Sub Patriots 3 (aka Portsmouth or PDQ). The drubbing of Portsmouth involved lots of experimental set plays, so the match was a little scrappy, but nice cuts and passes from Big Gay and Jesus helped us finish 11-3.

The final lambs sent to the slaughter within our pool were Mohawks 2 (aka Brighton). The game was Our first match was against very experimental once again, but Kings (aka NoneOfTheAbove), from which much groaning was with Diva running round like a rabbit on fire and Spirit exhibiting received, considering the rivalry his very solid play, we managed to between the two London teams. wallop them 10-3. Time for the After yelling our newly adopted Quarterfinals. motto "There's no I in TEAM!" we went onto the pitch to kick some We were now against Skunks royal butt. The first three points 2 (Southampton) and word of went Kings way. However, the Dismouth was flying round that cDoctors kept their heads high "Imperial were crap" and "Skunks and proceeded to get several 2 should easily win". Fatal last

the last three minutes of the game, IC scored two points to level the scores and force sudden death extra-time. Unfortunately "Blue" got the last point to finish 7-6 up, but we proved that its hard to beat IC. Our final match was against Mohawks 1 , who also had a tight That was the end of the first semi-final game. Yet again we had a hard fought match, but days indoor play, and the charity match followed outdoors - in the Astrofuk proved that he was more than a pretty face with a defence rain where it was cold and wet, that was not only tighter than a with Jesus, Diva and Worship Me ducks butt, but also distracted the playing from Imperial's DiscDocopposition quite admirably. Yet tors.

Sunday - Semi finals and again, we hit sudden death (this onwards day. As we were in the time they managed to get the draw), which we won to finish 9-8 top 4, we didn't have to start until up and in third place (thus matchthe afternoon, so we all got a lay ing our original seeding). in (lovely). We faced Strange Blue (aka Cambridge) in the semiSpecial commendations need finals, and yet again, the opposi- to go to Diva for his impersontion thought that they had the easy ations of a Nutcracker ballerina tie of the round. Whoops. It was a and a monkey for some of the tight fought game, which had after match calls, and also to the "Blue" fighting for their life to stay oral skills of Mrs Worship Me in the lead for all of the match. In (well, he looked happy).

words, I'm afraid. IC stopped experimenting and played in our normal crushing manner. The well oiled combination of Worship Me and Waterboy flattened Skunks 2 faster than "Mind that bus", "What bus?", "Splat!". We qualified for the finals after dicking on Skunks 2 1 3-3.

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5

Fifths in 12 goal thriller Sevenths victorious again Football IC V

kicked into gear, our attacking play stemming from M O M performances from Tom W and JP in midfield, with After last weeks outstanding per- Rich and Tiger putting in tireless formance against the medics to take work out wide, and the front two of us joint top in the division, IC V's Tom and Vine showing they had were in confident mood, intent on the beating of Goldies back line. A keeping the run of wins going to second goal arrived from the boot move clear of the pack. of Tom W, a great shot from the But Goldies had different ideas, edge of the area. We sensed there and they brought a team of mouthy was a way back, and scored a third big ba*****s, who spent the whole from Spaceman, before JP decided game shouting abuse at us and the that one 30 yard screamer was not ref. They could play a bit too, unfor- enough for the day, and thumped in tunately, and after a first half in another fantastic goal for 4-4. A which we had our butts kicked, we cool finish from Spaceman when were 4-0 down at the break, with one on one with the keeper after a our defence and midfield having no great through ball from Tom put us answer to the Goldies power into the lead, and when Vine placed But the IC V's never say die, and a brilliant far post header back we got stuck in straight away in the across the goal and in, it was 6-4, second half, the game suddenly and we had come from the dead looking more even. Then, on about with six unanswered goals.

55 mins, a free kick was awarded Sadly, the effort we had put in about 30 yards out. On advice from began to tell, and with 10 minutes the captain, JP stepped up and had still to go a hopeful Goldies shot a crack, which sailed unstoppably flew into the top corner to make the into the net, off the underside of the last moments of the game all too cross-bar (practically taking their close. With only seconds to go, a keeper with it). 4-1. The muted cel- cross from the left came over, eludebrations showed we were still well ing our defence, and the header adrift in the game, but we suddenly looped in to make it 6-6. Shit.

Goldsmiths IV

6

6

Football IC VII

more

was intentional or Mark missed yet another blatant opportunity.

Lifted by the goal and an inspiAfter last weeks thrashing of the rational team talk by the guv'nor, Pharmacists, we arrived at this IC pressed forward in the second match looking for another team to half, finally getting into the lead destroy. We arrived slightly late when a corner from Leacho manthanks to some inept coach driving, aged to work its way to Matt, who but we still got there. placed it clinically into the back of Despite the gloomy conditions, the net (well that's how he tells it spirits were high. Unfortunately, we anyway). Pressing forward as we were playing into the wind in the were, we soon discovered the first half and RVC made full use of match wasn't over as RVC broke this, putting pressure on our several times, at one point aided by defence right from the start. Even- Barney (the team alcoholic) who tually the break that RVC had aimed to clear the ball but mandeserved came from a corner when aged to make contact with nothing they exploited our lack of height to but air, letting their striker clean get a head towards goal, beating through on goal. Fortunately, the otherwise superb keeper all Caprano was on hand to make a ends up - fortunately man-of-thematch winning challenge. The only match Andy Smith was there to other point worth mentioning was head it away. Unfortunately it when Andy Smith, obviously bored dropped straight to one their play- with playing defence, tried to score ers who calmly put it in the back of from about thirty yards out. Longley the net. After a while we picked collected the ball on the left touchourselves up, and with the weather line - nice try Andy but better stick brightening we pressed forward, to defence. A pretty good performwith Marcus finally putting the ball ance by the team as a whole and in the net, after Mark squared him another win to chalk up. We're right on the stroke of half time. The starting our run - watch out Gold's, debate still rages over whether it here we come.

RVC

less

Ladies edged out by UCL Netball slay St. George's Ladies Basketball UCL

46

IC

44

remaining on the clock. Unfortunately, we did not manage that last basket...

The game started well, since UCL But cheer up everyone! This did not use the full court press results shows again the high right away (as we had feared potential of this year's team. before the game), and we man- Indeed, King's College, the only aged to stick to their score and team who beat us before this occasionally even move ahead by game, lost by more than 1 Opoints a few points. against UCL, scoring only 25.

(We will see how much we At the end of the first half, UCL was ahead by 4 points. But improved, since we should play tiredness in the middle of the sec- them next week). ond half made us make some Moreover, we really deserved mistakes, while our opponents the victory and we will have it were still sharp and stole a cou- next time we meet UCL (maybe ple of balls, putting us down by some improvement on freeas much as 12 points. After a throws will help?) time-out to re-adjust our posiHopefully, the second game tions, we did a few nice actions of this week against RUMS (newthat brought us back to within just comers to the league) should be two points with 15 seconds easier...

Netball IC I

40

St George's II

26

patience and restraint in not decking the St. George's keeper at numerous points during the match Our first league match of the sea- when the marking got particularly son started with a convincing win "tight". The physical tension in the and a fantastic match. Having circle became apparent in the third drawn 17-17 with St. George's first quarter when the bolt fixing the net team a few weeks ago in the BUSA and ring to the netball post league, we were determined to put became dislodged and the hoop in a good effort - and we did not slipped a good foot down the pole. disappoint.

No matter, Shirley still scored. As Jess played an absolute blind- ever, Paula whipped the passes into er, taking on nearly every St. the circle, and later Jane, Kirstie, George's player and intercepting Ruth and of course the ever present passes that went anywhere near Jess fed the ball up from the defenher. The St. George's players got sive end. Partnering Rachel in the annoyed. We loved it!

IC goal third was Kathryn, who put Shirley (the !egend that is) also in a great performance in her had a storming game, zipping debut for the firsts as keeper. So, a around the circle and shooting good start to the league - let's see some serious hoops. A medal goes if we can keep it going! Next week to Sarah, our other shooter, for her .... ICSM.

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Medics, defeated by Bart's, defeat IC ICSM Hockey

SCOREBOARD BADMINTON (Womens) IC I 5-4 QMW BASKETBALL (Mens)

ICSM I ICI (Man of the Match: Sanjay)

1 0

A frenetic local derby ended in a well earned victory for the Medics at Pad Rec. The game was played at a consistently high pace, and with no lack of skill. The Medics midfield did a thorough job of nullifying IC's creativity, with Fishpool and Boyce in particularly miserly form. At the back, the return of Sanjay brought a solidity missing from the previous week's display. In the first half IC started slowly, but showed their potential, especially down their left flank, and this earned them a number of shortcorners. These were kept out by the Medics through a mixture of good skill and good fortune, with Peter particularly resilient in goal. It was a short corner at the other end though that brought the decisive goal. A mazy dribble by Keysell drew a foul from the IC defence, and Fishpool planted the penalty corner in-off the right hand post.

The second half saw the game spread as fatigue set in. IC won many more short corners, but the luck was just not with them, and countless strikes flew just wide of either post, much to the relief of the Medics. But with Meyer and Boyle holding the ball well up front, pressure was eased on the Medics rearguard. The final 20 minutes saw desperate attacking from IC, which lacked width - thus playing into the capable central defensive partnership of Pappin and Sanjay.

This result sees both teams progress into the BUSA Cup as the top two teams in London. Watch this space for more national glory....?

Saturday 20th November Bart's ICSM I

such a lacklustre display from the hitherto league leaders. For the first 1 5 minutes of the game all seemed to be well, with ICSM creating chances and earning a penalty flick. However, when Keysell's flick was saved, the vigour drained from the Imperial Medics game. From then on all shape was lost, the passing went to pieces, and few more chances were created, The Bart's goal just before half time was reflective of the malaise that had affected ICSM. The opposition right wing picked up the ball deep in his own half, cut inside, and dribbled a good 50 yards unopposed, before finishing sweetly. A nightmare. The second half was even more dire, and it was only the poor quality of the SBLH attacking that saved ICSM more blushes. So the unbeaten record of ICSM came to an end in the most tepid manner. But with the return from injury of Boyce and Sanjay, the team will not only regain two class performers but also that all important shape.

1 0

The first poor performance of the season by ICSM saw them beaten by a weak Bart's side.

Despite a host of injuries, there was simply no adequate excuse for

St. Georges sent packing by seconds Rugby - Sponsored by IC II St Georges

97 5

After last weeks disappointing (but winning) performance, normal service was resumed. We apologise for any inconvenience caused.

Another day, another bunch of medics for the IC meat grinder.

After 30 seconds of sustained pressure from the first whistle, IC 2nds scored the first of many tries.

This was to set the tone for the rest of the match, with tries flowing

ALT

RAN

freely. It's getting a bit boring writing about tries, but needless to say the score at halftime was 3 7 - 0 .

Then in the second half, IC awoke like a sleeping giant to club the opposition past the point of no return. With tries too numerous to count (the referee needed help in keeping score), IC streaked towards a century - if only we had a kicker who could kick. After blinding ourselves with our own brilliance, we lost sight of the opposition and allowed them to score

against the run of play, leaving the score at 85-5 with 2 minutes remaining.

IC spirits were not dashed and the seconds dug deep to score two tries in as many minutes, leaving the final score at 97 5. There were hat tricks from Flo, Hut and Tim Collins, but Gl Tim was notable for his absence from the score sheet and also deserves a mention for match report avoidance.

Dammit, I'm sick of beating medics the whole time!

IC I

56 - 70 UCL

BASKETBALL (Womens) IC I 44 - 46 UCL DARTS (Mixed) IC 8 - 7 Holland Club High score: 140 (Chris & Tim) Check out: 91 (Cedric) FOOTBALL (Mens) BUSA IC I IC IV â&#x20AC;˘

4 LSE I 2 QMW

ULU & FRIENDLIES IC IC IC IC IC IC IC

I 1 - 3 Holloway I II 6 - 4 Goldsmiths II III 3 - 3 Kings IV IV 3 - 7 Q M W III V 6 - 6 Goldsmiths IV VI w/o RAM VII more - less RVC

FOOTBALL (Womens) IC I w/o HOCKEY (Mens) IC I 0-1 ICSM I 0-1

ICSM I Bart's I

NETBALL (Womens) IC I

40 - 26 George's

RUGBY (Mens) IC I 90-0 IC II 97-5

George's I George's II

RUGBY (Womens) IC I

0 - 3 5 RVC

VOLLEYBALL (Womens) IC I 3-1 UCL I