Vol. 2 Issue 10 by The Runner

NEWS AND CULTURE FOR THE STUDENTS OF KWANTLEN POLYTECHNIC UNIVERSITY

ASSISTED SUICIDE P 04

LIVING WITH HIV P 05

DRINK IN CLASS P 08

HOW TO CHEAT P 09

VOL. 2 ISSUE 10 | DECEMBER 01, 2009

Making the grade

page two | December 01 2009 | vol. 2 issue 10

NEWS & POLITICS

CANADIAN UNIVERSITY PRESS - WHAT’S HAPPENING ACROSS CANADA

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

AROUND KWANTLEN

Arctic sovereignty needs investment [CARLY YUCK THE CONCORDIAN]

MONTREAL (CUP) – Canada must work harder to assert its authority over the Arctic waters if it wants to maintain a strong international reputation, according to a Université de Montréal international law professor. Canada’s rule over the Arctic has become difficult, as melting icecaps have enlarged the Northwest Passage, an area over which Canada claims sovereignty. Suzanne Lalonde said that in order to govern these waters, Canada needs a presence and it needs to patrol the area. These are tasks that require money and other resources, she said while speaking at Montreal’s Marianopolis College on Nov. 18. Without proper patrol, anybody would be able to use the waters, she explained. “The risk of unauthorized transit will question Canada’s ability to control and govern the water,” the professor said, adding that this loss of environmental and shipping control would demonstrate a weakness on the part of the nation. While Canada’s presence in

the Arctic is noticeable Lalonde said that its authority in the area is minimal. One article of the United Nations Divisions for Ocean Affairs and the Law of the Sea allows Canada to enforce non-discriminatory laws pertaining to pollution in the area. But the law applies only to commercial ships, and has no jurisdiction over submarines or airspace. Currently, Lalonde said, no other state is calling to question Canada’s right to govern these waters. There is, however, debate as to how these waters should be used. The United States, for example, has said the waters should be used as an international strait, a situation that would force Canada to relinquish most of its control. It’s possible for vessels to sneak through the Northwest Passage without clearance from Canada. The increasing size of the passages has made it easier for vessels to travel through the otherwise ice-infested waters. The U.S. considers parts of the increased passages to be international territory. Canada, however, has a

different opinion: that these are Canadian waters, and that Canadian authorities should be consulted before the area is used as a transit route. Confusion as to which nation can claim control stems from the unclear criteria of the continental shelf – the submerged border of a continent that slopes gradually and extends to the bottom of the ocean. A country can claim up to 200 nautical miles of water extending from the shelf, after which point it becomes international waters. But consistent extensions of the shelf and constant natural changes have made sticking to this limit somewhat difficult. Though there are conflicting opinions regarding the Arctic waters, Lalonde insisted there is no animosity or competition as a result. “The U.S. is not a principal adversary,” she said. “They have not endorsed Canada, but have not challenged them either.” Lalonde said she believes a claim that natives in Canada historically used these waters would reinforce its claims to sovereignty .

WHAT’S HAPPENING AT KWANTLEN

DEC

KSA Executive Council Meeting WHERE: Surrey Campus - KSA Office WHEN: 11:00pm WHAT: Come and listen to the executive board and the general manager to seewhat the KSA has been up to. Open to all students, staff, and faculty.

DEC

CUP CARTOON - THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T SAY TO WOMEN

Music @ Midweek WHERE: Langley campus - Auditorium WHEN: 12:15pm - 1:00pm WHAT: Come out and listen to Kwantlen’s piano ensembles.

DEC MAIA BRITT ODEGAARD/ THE PEAK

KSA Richmond Council Meeting WHERE: Richmond Campus - KSA Office WHEN: 2:00pm

PROFS

WHAT: Come and hear what the Richmond KSA Council has been up to and have your opinions heard. Open to all students, staff, and faculty.

Renegade architect arrives at Ryerson [VANESSA GRECO THE EYEOPENER]

TORONTO (CUP) – Britain’s most notorious architect is now teaching at Ryerson University. Will Alsop, who’s been called the “bad boy” of architecture, has been named distinguished visiting practitioner in architecture at Ryerson. His first lecture was on Nov. 24. The recent announcement of Alsop’s Ryerson arrival created a stir in the architecture community after the U.K. modernist announced in August that he’d be retiring. “I actually said I was going to retire to do painting and a little bit more teaching,” said Alsop. “And a little bit more teaching is Ryerson.” The world-renowned architect plans to help graduate students with their thesis projects. Prior to his appointment at Ryerson, Alsop mentored students at schools in London, Vienna and Hannover. While he understands arson isn’t considered an appropriate teaching method at Ryerson, Alsop recalls a time when it was

effective. “If I didn’t like someone’s project I’d set fire to their model,” said Alsop of his time as an instructor in London. “But that’s what they deserved. If you don’t work then I can’t respect your work.” Alsop’s own body of work

spans over three decades. In 2000, he won the Stirling Prize, architecture’s highest honour, for the Peckham Library in London. In Toronto, Alsop is best known for designing the Sharp Centre, a four-storey “tabletop”

building for the Ontario College of Art and Design. According to Gregory Woods, Ryerson architecture graduate and Alsop’s business partner, the star architect considered submitting a design proposal for Ryerson’s new Student Learning Centre. “We regretfully decided not to pursue it,” said Woods explaining that Alsop was setting up a new studio at the time. Regardless of how he contributes during his time at Ryerson, Kendra Schank Smith, chair of architectural science athe school,, believes Alsop’s visit will elevate the profile of Ryerson’s architecture program. “He allows our students to engage with the international architecture community,” she said. After years spent building his own career, Alsop looks forward to mentoring Ryerson students. “A lot of these young people can go on to be great architects if they’re taught well, if they’re opened and tested,” he said. “I could do that.”

DEC

CLOVERDALE - FACULTY OF TRADES & TECHNOLOGY - OPEN HOUSE WHERE: Cloverdale Campue WHEN: 4:00pm - 7:00pm WHAT: Come out and speak to faculty and staff regarding program offerings in trades & technology. Visit the shops and speak with the instructors one-on-one.

DEC

Music Department - Open House WHERE: ROOM 1305 LANGLEY CAMPUS WHEN: 6:00pm WHAT: Come out for a tour of our facilities and listen to Kwantlen’s talented ensembles. We will describe the admission requirements as well as the audition process.

NEWS & POLITICS

www.runnerrag.ca | The Runner

vol. 2 issue 10 | December 01 2009 | page three

TEXT BOOKS

NATALIE HEILBERG HARRISON/THE RUNNER

1.2 Million Dollars in ‘renovation,’ but no expansion Despite the barage of press releases saying so, Richmond campus will only be receiving upgrades and not a full make-over [NATALIE HEILBERG-HARRISON]

NATALIE HEILBERG HARRISON/THE RUNNER

After setting a few press releases and $1.215 million dollars loose in the name of a library expansion on Kwantlen’s Richmond campus, it has become clear that amidst the visits and speeches from various politicians, there is one thing students won’t be getting – a bigger library. Although book-happy students will still have a few reasons to salivate after the cheque goes through. “It’s a renovation. Unfortunately it’s not an expansion,” said Caroline Daniels, chair of the senate standing committee on the library. Instead, she said the grants

of $656,000 from the provincial government and $559,000 from the federal government will “update” the 20,400-square-foot space, converting unused areas and reorganizing current ones. She added that although they are still in the design phase, and no construction companies have been hired yet, one of the main priorities will be to increase the number of computer stations and work areas for students. In addition, they will make better use of natural lighting, add more space for collections and move the entire learning centre into the library. “It’s not an expansion, so we can’t do everything we want to

do. We’ll at least improve the existing space,” she said. The renovation is one of 11 post-secondary projects underway in B.C., which Richmond MP Alice Wong said will benefit students and also create jobs. Richmond East MLA Linda Reid added that it’s “creating jobs at a time when every job counts.” Daniels said the timeline for completion is a bit fuzzy because of the Olympics, but said everything will be done within the next year. “We’re aiming to have it complete before the summer,” she added. David Atkinson, president and vice-chancellor of Kwantlen, said in a press release that he

That’s not the case. Professors like to know that their students are getting the help that they need and will be more successful in their classes.” Brewer added, “Students should come in for help it will really make a difference in your studies. We’re glad to help.” On the Langley campus, the Learning Centre is in room 2070 and is opened from 8:00 a.m. until 4:00 p.m. Monday to Friday. On the Surrey campus, the

Learning Centre is located in the library and is opened from 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. Monday through Wednesday. Thursday and Friday, they are opened from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Richmond campus’ Learning Centre shares the same hours as Surrey and is located in room 1810. Cloverdale campus has a math centre located behind the KSA office (near the pool tables) with varying hours during the

was “exceedingly pleased” and that the renovations will “enhance the student learning experience at Kwantlen.”

“It’s not an expansion, so we can’t do everything we want to do. We’ll at least improve the existing space,” -Caroline Davies

IN BRIEF

End of semester help: Check out the Learning Centres [ADAM VINCENT] [CREATIVE WRITING BUREAU CHIEF]

It’s that time of the year again. You are stressing out. You keep trying to work through a problem, but you cannot find a solution. Will you pass your class without that bit of knowledge? Are you having many challenges in your current courses? Do you need help? There is help on campus. Kwantlen offers free one-on-one or small group tutoring to its students. You are able to get help from a fellow student, a peer tutor, who has more experience in your area of complication and can help you to attain the knowledge that you require. It is not a homework club. There are ethical rules with their help: they will not help you with unmarked assignments, but can help you with theories, practices and content clarification in your classes. Do not go in there asking for proofreading or for them to mark your work, they are there to help, not to teach a class, nor to do your work.

As per their website, “The Learning Centre is a place where any Kwantlen student can find learning assistance, one-to-one and small group tutoring, help with study skills and learning strategies, and access to print and electronic resources and tools to help complete assignments.” Subjects that you can get help with include: Math, English, Chemistry, Biology, Physics, and foreign languages. They offers assistance for all areas of study, however, Surrey campus’ Learning Centre is the only place for specialized English assistance, as it is now home to Kwantlen’s new Writing Centre (in the same location as the Learning Centre). Some students are hesitant to ask for help, though they should not be. When asked about students being unsure if they should come into the Learning Centre or not, Marina Brewer, Writing/ Learning Centre English tutor said, “People are sometimes concerned that their professor will find out that they need help and then things will be awkward in their classes.

semester. Students who need help, or want more information on the finite details of peer tutoring should call or visit their applicable Learning Centre to see the availability of the tutor that they need. Check out http://www. kwantlen.ca/learningcentres. html for further information and phone numbers of Kwantlen’s Learning Centres.

We need your words, pictures, attitudes and ideas. Need a referenece letter? Need a reference for a scholarship, job or program? Be a volunteer and weʼll help you out! All students from all backgrounds are needed to make this paper work, so please, donʼt hide. For more information email: recruiting@runnerrag.ca

NEWS & POLITICS

page four | December 01 2009 | vol. 2 issue 10

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

PEOPLE TO KNOW

Kwantlen’s own controversial professor Russel Ogden’s research into assisted suicide has put him at the forefront of his field and has branded him with controversy

ERLING CHRISTENSEN Russel Ogden holds up a Inukshuk given to him by colleagues it reads “in appreciation for your defending our academic freedom and research ethics.”

[MELISSA FRASER] [CULTURE EDITOR]

Last weekend a man showed up unannounced at Russel Ogden’s door. The man was there to ask Ogden if he would attend his suicide. This isn’t the first person to ask Ogden such a thing and it mostly likely won’t be the last. Ogden is a sociology and criminology instructor at Kwantlen who’s currently researching assisted suicide, a topic that’s put him in situations like these more than once.

IN BRIEF

Olympic tickets available to Kwantlen students [CHRISTOPHER POON] [MEDIA EDITOR]

Kwantlen students interested in purchasing Olympic tickets are now able to enter Kwantlen’s own ‘Olympic Lottery’ for a chance to purchase premium event tickets. Overall, there are 164 tickets available to students including: Opening and closing ceremonies, gold medal men’s hockey, gold medal women’s hockey and speed skating finals. However, students will still be expected to pay the face value of the tickets, as the Vancouver Olympic Committee did not allow for discounted tickets to students. Students interested in signing up for draw can log onto their myKwantlen account and click on the ‘2010 Tickets’ tab. Deadline for entering is Dec. 10.

Ogden’s PhD research includes interviewing assisted suicide patients as well as sitting through the process. Ogden says at this point the people he includes in his research often find him. Many of them know of him because of his reputation as one of the foremost in his area of research, a title that comes after years of controversy. What started in 1994 with his Master’s thesis at Simon Fraser University and led to being subpoenaed three times by Crown Council and the Coroner and facing research restrictions

at several universities, Ogden’s familiar with contention. Despite the number of times Ogden has had to fight for his academic freedom, he says the controversy hasn’t affected his will to continue the research. “The fact that it’s attracting controversy means that people are noticing the research and that it’s noticed means it’s of some importance,” says Ogden. “I think the fact that some people don’t want certain knowledge to emerge from science is again further evidence of the importance of that research.” He says universities are increasingly more worried about their image and their brand than they are about academia. Ogden says the hardest part of his research is the misunderstanding from his peers and colleagues that stems from the ideal of being accepted by the status quo. “There’s all this concern about image in the community and sometimes I think this concern about image overrides the purpose of the university which is to acquire, to understand and to share knowledge. Even if that knowledge happens to be unpopular,” says Ogden. On the flip side of all the misunderstanding he feels from his colleagues and peers, Ogden says one of the best parts of the research is the appreciation the topic receives from students.

He says that while his peers are afraid of the research, the students are interested in it. Ogden said he first got into

researching assisted suicide because it was one of the usual topics undergrads choose to research. Ogden’s methods are what make the topic atypical and compel people to shut him down. In 1994 Ogden had done research with Simon Fraser University for his Master’s Thesis on assisted suicides and AIDS victims. But Ogden learned too much and the coroner called on him to reveal his sources. Ogden refused to reveal any names based on the agreement he had arranged with the sources and his right to academic freedom. During the process, SFU refused to support Ogden despite their responsibility to research. It wasn’t until a long battle and

a judge calling the university cowardly that SFU apologized and repaid Ogden for legal fees in 1998. Controversy followed Ogden to Exeter in the UK and then, most recently, Kwantlen. In 2006, Kwantlen put a stop to research on Ogden’s previously approved endeavors. After a two-year battle, including a Canadian Association of University Teachers inquiry into Kwantlen’s rights to stop his research, Ogden was finally allowed to continue the research. Ogden met with Kwantlen’s then-new president David Atkinson in 2008. He was granted two years to focus solely on his research and Ogden is expected back in the classroom in January 2011.

“There’s all this concern about image in the community and sometimes I think this concern about image overrides the purpose of the university which is to acquire, to understand and to share knowledge. Even if that knowledge happens to be unpopular.” - Russel Ogden

SPORTS

Eagles women come away with two victories after a close call [MICHELA FIORIDO] [SPORTS BUREAU CHIEF]

The Kwantlen women’s basketball team is lucky to come away with four points this weekend as opposed to two. Facing the perpetually last place team, the Columbia Bible College (CBC) Bearcats, the Eagles almost seemed as if they expected to win without putting in the effort. It took overtime and a close scare but the Eagles did eventually come away the better team in a 72-69 OT victory. The women were more mentally prepared on Saturday as they crushed the Bearcats 75-42. Losing on Friday would have been detrimental for the Eagles in the standings since every team is expected to beat the Bearcats. Squandering two points where everyone else would gain them would not help the Eagles’

playoff hopes. Currently the Eagles are in 7th place and are situated outside of the playoff bubble. Taminder Dhaliwal and Emily Wright have been the standout players so far for the Eagles, each currently stand in the top ten league in scoring and assists respectively. For the men’s side, playing the CBC Bearcats constituted a more important tone as the teams are very close in the standings. The men won a close game on Friday 71-64 however faltered on Saturday in losing 105-85. This leaves the men tied with the Bearcats, however, both teams are outside of the playoff bubble for now. Next weekend the Eagles face the Langara Falcons on Friday night at Langara’s gym. The Eagles don’t play another home game until the end of January.

FREE FOOD, FREE DRINKS FREE MEETING WHEN: Every Friday at 2:00 pm WHERE: Runner Office: #205 - 12877 76 Ave. Surrey, B.C. WHAT: Discuss the upcoming issue and help make important decisions

NEWS FEATURE

www.runnerrag.ca | The Runner

vol. 2 issue 10 | December 01 2009 | page ﬁve

IN DEPTH: HIV & AIDS

Changing the face of the misunderstood An in-depth insight into HIV and AIDS and the effect it has had on the lives of Vancouverites [MICHAEL O’MORROW]

Jack is in his early 30s. He lives in Vancouver and is a working business professional. He is gay and HIV positive. Jack learned of his status in March of 2008. He says living with the disease has been both a blessing and a curse. “It has forced me to have a new perspective on life, and to reevaluate what really matters,” he says. “But telling people you are HIV positive is like coming out all over again. You fear being labeled as different, and you fear being rejected by friends and family who love you.” The British Columbia Centre for Disease Control reported that 62 per cent of new HIV and AIDS cases in Vancouver in 2008 were gay men. Jack was surprised and worried by this number. “HIV infections were on the decrease for many years through the late 90s and early 2000s,” he says. “So to see it back on the rise again is disappointing.” AIDS Vancouver has come far since it’s humble beginnings in 1983. The organization was initially formed in response to the growing HIV and AIDS pandemic by seven gay men living in the West End. Today AIDS Vancouver employs over 20 fulltime staff, and is supported by 180 volunteers. “We have a friendly rivalry with the AIDS Committee of Toronto,” says AIDS Vancouver Executive Director David Swan. “We occasionally like to remind them we had our charitable number two weeks before they did.” Swan has been Executive Director of AIDS Vancouver for a year and a half. He has a strong devotion to fighting HIV and AIDS, as he has been living with the disease for 19 years. “I have heard people today compare HIV and AIDS to diabetes,” says Swan. “There is a belief today that if you get

HIV you go on meds and you’ll be fine. That is simply not the case.” Swan attributes that misconception to the development of HAART (Highly Active AntiRetroviral Therapies) and the press’ depiction of HIV and AIDS as a chronic manageable disease. “It is true that we have seen

gay community spend much of their young lives hearing that their way of life is bad and dirty. As they become older, we often see individuals from these groups making poor decisions and engaging in questionable behaviour as a way of boosting their self-esteem and confidence, and to quiet the voices inside their head.”

JON RAWLINSON/FLICKR

people who were literally on their deathbeds become well again,” says Swan. “But what the public doesn’t see is how the meds can have a long-term effect on a person’s life. There are cases of individuals with heart disease and premature ageing as a direct side effect of the HIV medication.” The rise of HIV and AIDS infections in the gay population is of concern to Swan. But just as concerning is the rise in other populations he describes as vulnerable. “HIV has a high infection rate among populations that have been historically marginalized and ostracized. While having stabilized among injection drug users, rates are on the rise among gay men and the aboriginal community.” According to Swan, these vulnerable populations are subject to poor decisions and behaviour that prolong the spread. “Populations like the aboriginal community and the

Programs that involve case management, health care, housing, and financial and legal issues, support is AIDS Vancouver’s key focus. The organization employs seven social workers to assist in emotional and psychological issues, and it operates a grocery program staffed by volunteers. “We are not a gay organization. AIDS Vancouver supports people living with HIV and AIDS regardless of gender, ethnicity, age or sexual orientation. And we support those HIV negative individuals who want to become better aware.” Awareness, stresses Swan, is the key to controlling the disease. For infection rates to drop, attitudes, perceptions, and behaviours must change. “The information is available. People know about HIV and AIDS. Unfortunately people still engage in behaviour that puts them at great risk. People have to be prepared to change their actions and protect them-

selves from harm. Action is the best way to prevent HIV.” For more information go to aidsvancouver.org, or call 604893-2201. Jack has been on HIV medication for a month. He’s not sick – he’s entered into a discordant relationship (one HIV positive, the other HIV negative), and he’s gone on medication to protect his partner. “It’s tough. The irony is before going on the meds, I felt healthy. I didn’t think about HIV, it had no effect on me physically or emotionally. But starting the medication was a harsh reminder of what I live with, and physically it’s beaten me up.” Jack describes harsh side effects from the medication like dizziness, nausea, head and body aches, and difficulty sleeping. “It’s supposed to get easier,” he says. “But for now it certainly isn’t fun.” Like Swan, Jack believes that for HIV and AIDS to be controlled, attitudes and behaviours need to change. “It’s not a lack of education – it’s a lack of responsibility. People will do what they want to do. And because of that we hear some very tragic stories.” Jack hopes that he can serve as a model of success for those living with HIV. “I am very fortunate. I have been accepted into a relationship by a man without HIV, and I have his love and support in dealing with the disease. I have been accepted by my friends, and I have received great support when needed.” And to those who are struggling? “Remember to have courage and strength, and to ask for help.” Do you have an interesting insight you would like to share? Or maybe a rant or rave about something happening in your community or around campus? We’d like to hear! E-mail letters@runnerag.ca

ANECDOTE

A Kwantlen Story [JESSICA PAMBID]

I remember the time when my Grade 7 class went to Mrs. Westerman’s house. Every year the Grade 7’s of Westerman Elementary School would come and visit her home. She talked about her life, mostly about her childhood. Her house is small and there are a lot of photos and figurines. At one point of the tour we got to explore her gardens around the house. We had a grad class of 40 plus students and there were people who weren’t as into the tour as everyone else. Some of us decided to walk off in different directions than others. There was a group of guys who suddenly started running towards everyone else

was. My friend and I just looked at each other and walked near the group too. When we got to the group Mrs Westerman was talking about her husband and that she had his ashes on the far side of the back yard. All of a sudden the boys who ran from that same corner started to laugh. The boys had knocked it over. The Westerman house is located on Surrey campus, and is owned by Mrs. Westerman, a former retired school teacher. Mrs. Westerman and her husband sold much of their land to Kwantlen, and have been seen as major community philanthropists. She still lives on Surrey campus today and has received several awards for her lifetime achievements.

The Runner is student owned and operated by Kwantlen Polytechnic University students, published under Polytechnic Ink Publishing Society Vol. 2, Issue no. 10 December 1, 2009 ISSN# 1916-8241 #205-12877 76 Ave. Surrey, B.C. V3W 1E6 www.runnerrag.ca EDITORIAL DIVISION: Co-ordinating Editor Denny Hollick editor@runnerrag.ca News Editor Kassandra Linklater news@runnerrag.ca Culture Editor Melissa Fraser culture@runnerrag.ca Media Editor Christopher Poon media@runnerrag.ca Production Editor Cat Yelizarov production@runnerrag.ca Bureau Chiefs: Arts & Design (vacant) Creative Writing Adam Vincent Current Events Natsumi Oye Entertainment Jeff Groat Environmental (vacant) Langley Campus (vacant) Politics (vacant) Sports Michela Fiorido Student Affairs Chris Yee Travel: Anastasia Kirk Contributors: Kyle Slavin, Abhishaek Rawal, Jared Vaillancourt, Dan Mizuguchi, Jessica Pambid, Natalie Heilberg-Harrison, Victoria Almond, Karen Ezra, Cover Art: Christopher Poon BUSINESS DIVISION: Operations Manager DJ Lam ops@runnerrag.ca Office Co-ordinator Victoria Almond office@runnerrag.ca Distribution (vacant)

page six | December 01 2009 | vol. 2 issue 10

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

CREATIVE

www.runnerrag.ca | The Runner

vol. 2 issue 10 | December 01 2009 | page seven

SCI-FI

Shifting Ice: Dark Premonitions [JARED VAILLANCOURT]

Chapter Two Vintis awoke early the next morning, its head spinning from the alcohol. The news hologram had shut itself off once it had realized its observer was unconscious. Vintis groaned as its body protested the awkward position on the couch it had passed out in. The day was off to a bad start; of this much; Vintis was unwaveringly certain. Breakfast was once again a function of habit; a roasted fruit from some far-distant world and twenty minutes spent on the roof with Vintis’ back fins exposed to the suns. Most of the vitamins it could generate itself with the solar energy, and the fruit provided the rest. Vintis squinted underneath its goggles through the morning glare and caught another Zwitii waiving at it from the rooftop across the street. Vintis smiled and waived back. “Ah, good morning, Vintis,” Kyraa greeted it as it entered

the office. Vintis offered the tall, imposing Izraal a curt smile as it made its way to its desk. “Some night last night, Vintis. You missed quite the celebration.” Kyraa remarked. Vintis scoffed. “Did I?” Vintis muttered. “Great stars, pray tell,” Kyraa leaned back as she crossed her front legs, her work screen freezing in midair as it detected her eyes no longer glowing at it. “The bar was full of Izraal, toasting our future victory,” Kyraa recalled wistfully. “I suppose you were quite drunk, my friend. Do you remember storming out?” she asked. Vintis brought up its work screen, grunting as it did so. “I remember exiting politely,” Vintis mumbled. “War is nothing to celebrate.” Vintis looked up at Kyraa as that worthy chuckled and resumed typing, the words appearing on her screen. “The same position shared by all Zwitii, it seems,” Kyraa remarked with a slight hiccough of amusement. “I shared a transport with some of your people on the way in today. They re-

PHOTOGRAPHY

fused to look me in the eye.” “It doesn’t help you’ve got three pairs, Kyraa.” “You know what I mean,” Kyraa chuckled as she finished her report and prepared it for archiving. “I can understand your position, Vintis. War seems like such a scary thing, especially to you.” “It does now, doesn’t it?” Vintis muttered as it sifted through requisition orders. “Indeed! As far as I know, the Zwitii have never been directly involved in a war, have you?” “Not me,” Vintis replied absent-mindedly. The third order was another repeat of last month’s. “Of course not, we’re just file keepers,” Kyraa remarked with a coy smile. “But I’m interested, Vintis. What do you think?” she asked, once again freezing her screen as her eyes focused on Vintis. “I think the company’s maintenance hangars could hire engineers that don’t go through so many plasma injectors,” Vintis muttered as it reviewed

the order. Kyraa coughed and swallowed to catch its attention. Vintis looked over at her with a polite, “Huh?” “What do you think about war, as a Zwitii?” she asked. Vintis considered her for a moment and then shut off It’s screen. It rotated it’s chair to face her stool and took a deep breath. “As a Zwitii, I think war is the waste of time, life and resources done before negotiation resumes,” Vintis remarked, its voice inflectionless. “As me, Vintis,” it continued coolly, “I think war is an affront. The Izraal and the Pyryx, great stars, the whole galaxy, has been at peace for almost five hundred years. All of us have worked hard to heal the scars of past wars. All of us have worked hard to remember just what wars cost – all of us have prayed for this time when there would be no suffering, no injustice and no further strife and this war,” it lifted its head, Kyraa staring at it intently, “represents the utter, total annihilation of everything we have worked and bled and sweated and prayed

BEAT POEM

POEM

Waiting

[DAN MIZUGUCHI]

[KAREN EZRA]

Another plebeian enters and seats himself beside me as wafts of sex filter through the stale air and the phallic instrument of city blood carries on its route.

Since Middlemarch I have been waiting for a mantra in a modern tongue, a poem to start revolutions, a swansong to break hearts but now your promises have candied together.

The perversion twists through veins through lanes carrying the life blood of business and economy to destinations unimportant and unremarkable. Jormangandr twists through lanes an engorged serpent rending its way horribly through space and time and we its occupants are left sweating and crowded. Another stop and blood comes off and blood comes on and blood means nothing because this blood is stale and means nothing. The blue of the sky is an illusion to all but those who drink from the elixirs of life and health and are numb to the obscenity of the roads and the plots and the tires and the fumes and the stale smell of sex on the man who sits beside you and knows nothing of what he’s writ. Jormangandr has four wheels four tires two axles with which to propel itself to new passengers who lack an interest in those around them for no good reason. A woman across from me breathes in the somniferous intoxicating stale air and drools and snorts and sleeps soundly and calm and there is no peace in her dreams. When I exit the steel phallic vessel its roar of protest will fade from my memory only briefly until its twin stops and invites me aboard. Blood cells sifting through veins aboard busses and trains and planes and automobiles and bicycles and legs and thousands of millions of feet breathing too much oxygen and bringing the life blood to the streets a perversion at best of what lays beneath the cement, the Earth.

CAT YELIZAROV/THE RUNNER

To be continued next week...

Jormangandr He writes a poem to a sleepless lover on a bed of stone and covets the foot space of the crowded surface we find ourselves unwillingly sharing.

CAT YELIZAROV/THE RUNNER

for.” It turned from Kyraa and reactivated its screen. “But that’s just what I think,” it muttered. “I could be wrong.” Kyraa was silent for a moment as Vintis began confirming the requisition order, contacting its friend at the parts depot in orbit of Kapilo. “Wow,” Kyraa whispered as she slowly turned to face her screen, “I never thought a Zwitii could feel so strongly.” Vintis gritted its teeth as it tried to ignore the comment. It shifted its focus, glancing at the Izraal through their respective screens. Finally, Vintis closed its eyes and took another relaxing breath. “What are your thoughts, Izraal?” Vintis asked. Kyraa looked over at it quizzically. “We have a right to a home,” she replied curtly, “and a right to defend it.” “Simple as that?” Vintis inquire. Kyraa’s expression grew cold. “Of course,” she replied softly. “Simple as that.”

Your words create zephyrs that blanket the knives, sending them spinning across countertops. The forks are awash in your dreary monsoons, so that papayas and melons taste of petrichor, metallic and sandy, dusted over with spite. And I have eaten take out (the restaurant on the other side of town knows me by name) for the past two months. You’d even broken the hinges of the icebox; and now, the door sways, in and out a miserable draft to cool my cheeks and ice my hands after I’d unbolted the windows trying to force them open But they are sealed shut, hardened from the molasses you spilled there last winter and never bothered to clean. The sills are sticky just like your heart.

FEATURE

page eight | December 01 2009 | vol. 2 issue 10

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

IN CLASS

1100 proof: how to be a covert drunk in class is a dead giveaway. Sometimes, you’ll have that one cool prof who barely knows where he/ she is so you might get it past him/her, but you may get that other prof, whose personality is synonymous with that of Stalin. So getting nailed (get your mind out of the gutter, kids) by the latter would result in your sorry drunk ass being expelled. Therefore, always consume at the generous rate of one shotglass sized sip every 80 seconds. How did I come up with such a specific number you ask? I have no fucking clue; I’m an alcoholic, not a mathamagician.

Rule #3 Getaway plan.

CHRISTOPHER POON/ THE RUNNER

[ABHISHAEK RAWAL]

We’ve all had that day where everything’s going to shit. Your girlfriend broke up with you, your cat caught on fire, you failed that midterm you spent 27 hours studying for, and you forgot to record “The Hills” (I know, tragic). Now, in a situation like this the logical course of action would be to get blitzed out of your fucking mind, but alas, there’s a problem; you have class in 20 minutes, and you can’t risk being caught. Fear not, I have the perfect solution for

you —I wasn’t the messiah of my alcoholics anonymous club for shits and giggles you know. Just because I’m a great guy, I’ve laid out the steps to successfully establishing your rightful position as class alcoholic, without being bum rushed by your professor.

Rule #1 Ensure your alcoholic beverage of choice is stored in a subtle container. Bringing out the vanity flasks you’ve been hiding under your

grandpa’s bed for the last seven years so your mom wouldn’t find out about your alcoholic ways is probably a bad idea. Instead, opt to use something like your four-year-old sister’s Dora the Explorer water bottle. Dora is innocent, thereby avoiding any suspicion and besides, I hear kid-size bottles make Sailor Jerry Rum taste even better.

Rule #2 Sip Cautiously. Guzzling down your 26 oz. Dora the Explorer proof Everclear in a matter of 40 seconds

This step is one of the most important. You’re in class sitting front row (why the fuck did you choose the front row, you dumbass?) and you can feel the hallucinations involving Miley Cyrus singing to you at your private beach party coming on, so what do you do? Although that would be a pretty fucking sweet hallucination (don’t judge me until you hear “Party in the USA”, because that song is off the heezy) your focus should be devoted to getting the hell out of class. The easiest option would be to excuse yourself for a quick “bathroom break” (read puke party), but no, you’re a fucking rock star, so you need to do something stupidly awesome.

In that case, make a ridiculous scene where you scream random obscenities at the wall, disrupt the entire class and run out yelling “YOU DON’T KNOW ME !” Now you may ask “Abhishaek, why the hell would I do something like that?”. See, when you create a ginormous disruption, nobody knows what to think or say, including your Stalinesque prof, while you make an easy getaway. It’s the greatest mindfuck your prof will have dealt with since, well, ever. Sure, you’ll have to come up with an amazing alibi for next class, but that’s a week away and you don’t think that far ahead (not that you could Mr. I have 25 per cent of my brain cells left). Cross that bridge when you get to it.

Rule #4 There is no rule 4. You read right. I don’t even know why I put this here, although I have a sneaking suspicion it may have something to do with the six unicorns surrounding me, dancing in unison to Kenny G’s “The Moment” (yay absinthe). So kids, play safe, drink lots of water and don’t try any of this, because I don’t want to be responsible. Now that I’ve covered my ass legally, go make your parents proud and show them how responsible you are by coming home from class smelling like whiskey and cigarettes.

LETTER FOR A IDEAS. NEED A REFERENCE AND DES ITU ATT ES, TUR PIC STUDENTS FROM ALL WE NEED YOUR WORDS, LL HELP YOU OUT! ALL WEʼ AND EER UNT VOL A HIDE. GRAM? BE WORK, SO PLEASE, DON ʼT SCHOLARSHIP, JOB OR PRO TO MAKE THIS NEWSPAPER DED NEE ARE DS OUN KGR BAC FOR

INFO

AG.CA EMAIL: RECRUITING@RUNNERR

FEATURE

www.runnerrag.ca | The Runner

vol. 2 issue 10 | December 01 2009 | page nine

CHEATING

Making the grade by resourceful means Sure you could study but cheating forces you to expand your creative mind [DENNY HOLLICK] [CO-ORDINATING EDITOR]

COURTESY OF CHRISTOPHER POON/THE RUNNER

Being able to successfully cheat your way through university, takes quite a bit of skill and practice. For most students, being intelligent enough to come up with creative ways to cheat rather than actually taking the time to study is very rare. Successful cheaters are truly a different breed. Lets be clear: if you have been caught cheating, then you probably don’t fit in to this “intelligent” category. I recall a story that a friend told me a few weeks ago that happened in one of the Surrey campus classrooms this semester: A student went to leave the class to go to the washroom during an exam. The student was gone for a good 10-15 minutes – this is quite rare for someone writing an exam, you would usually want to make the most of your time. Anyway, the professor left the classroom and a few minutes later returned with a set of textbooks. The prof. walked right up to the student who left for the washroom and slammed the texts on his desk, asking if they belonged to him. The student replied as if there was nothing significant about it and said “yes.”

The professor apparently went in to the washroom and found the students textbooks there. The professor immediately took the test and told the student to leave. Clearly, a horrible attempt to cheat. I find that people who are cheaters, and who are good at it, are quite often very capable of actually being “A+” students, but they find the material or the way it is taught far too boring to actually take the time to memorize and recite. Many times, its more stimulating to find ways to cheat successfully than to actually work with the material – and some students will spend just as much time preparing to cheat as they would need to study. I myself, do have the same problem, sometimes finding myself completely understimulated in the classroom and will usually try to find ways to keep up with the outside world on my iPhone. However, when it comes to exams, I don’t think I’d go the lengths to find ways to cheat. Regardless, I’ve found some interesting attempts from other people as well as on the internet to cheat, so I thought that I would share them.

The Coke Bottle: This is an interesting way to get some answers. Peel off the label of a plastic soda bottle and scan it on to your computer. Using photoshop, replace the text on the label with your answers (put it in the ingredients list) and print it off. Glue the label back on and bring it to your exam. Easy! Just a waste of time.

Shoe Sole Method: Tape a piece of paper to the sole of your shoe with the answers. Cross your legs when you need to look at the answers, when the prof walks by, be sure to put your feet back on the ground (Vital part).

Tattoo Method: Prepare what answers you may need for the exam ahead of time. A few days before your exam, go to a tattoo parlour and have it tattooed in an inconspicuous place that you can see while you are writing your exam. This is just as good as actually studying, as the information will never leave you.

STUDYING

Four days to a perfect LSAT score [MICHELA FIORIDO] [SPORTS BUREAU CHIEF]

If you’re like me and have to write the LSAT on December 5, you are in full fledged panic mode. For those of you who don’t know, the LSAT is the Law School Admissions Test which is required if you want to go to law school. It’s pretty much the biggest exam of some people’s lives. It can only be written three times in a two year period, and each time it costs $150 so you really don’t want to screw up the first time. If you’re looking at UBC, you know you need around a 165 – at least. As embarrassed as I am to admit this, I commenced my LSAT studying by watching the movie Legally Blonde for a bit of motivation. It never actually occurred to me how humorous it is when Elle Woods gets a 179 on the LSAT, placing her in the 99.9th percentile. After reading through some LSAT prep books, I discovered that the highest score one can get on the exam is 180 which is pretty much near impossible. The fact that Elle Woods gets 179 is absolutely hilarious…if you’re

on the outside and not actually having to write the LSAT. For those of you registered for the exam this December, you probably would take great pleasure in punching Elle Woods in the face right about now. If you’re like me and should have started studying months ago, but didn’t, don’t feel too bad as the December exam is easily the most inconvenient. I mean, how are we supposed to keep up our GPA for law school by doing well on exams and term papers when everything is due at around the same time as the LSAT? I have been working feverishly to get everything done and handed in early simply so I could just focus on studying for this crazy exam, and yes, it really is crazy. The LSAT is comprised of five, strictlytimed, 35 minute multiple choice sections, followed by a 35 minute long writing sample. It is a grueling exam, with no time to re-read questions or occasionally zone out like students tend to do during normal tests. Did I mention that the questions are totally fucked? Yeah, they’re sickening. Try this

one on for size: Brown dwarfs—dim red stars that are too cool to burn hydrogen—are very similar in appearance to red dwarf stars, which are just hot enough to burn hydrogen. Stars, when first formed, contain substantial amounts of the element lithium. All stars but the coolest of the brown dwarfs are hot enough to destroy lithium completely by converting it to helium. Accordingly, any star found that contains no lithium is not one of these coolest brown dwarfs. The argument depends on assuming which one of the following? (a) None of the coolest brown dwarfs has ever been hot enough to destroy lithium. (b) Most stars that are too cool to burn hydrogen are too cool destroy lithium completely. (c) Brown dwarfs that are not hot enough to destroy lithium are hot enough to destroy lithium. (d) Most stars, when first formed, contain roughly the same percentage of lithium.

(e) No stars are more similar in appearance to red dwarfs than are brown dwarfs. I don’t even know where to start with this one. It’s from an arguments section of the LSAT and it apparently gave a lot of students

difficulty. No shit! The correct answer is (a). Alas, with mere days left, here is a four-day study program that I’ve put together for your (and my) benefit.

FOUR DAY PLAN Take out some LSAT prep books, the Kwantlen libraries have plenty. Oh wait, they’re all sitting in my room. Go and purchase one book, preferably one that has a cd rom and includes real practice tests. Read through the LSAT strategies and get a feel for what the exam entails.

Day 1

Use your book to learn how to tackle the arguments section and the logic games. Ignore the reading comprehension, it’s not like we’ve got a lot of time here and I’m pretty sure you could wing it. Take a practice test to

Day 2

see where you stand.

Day 3

Build from your practice test and focus only on the sections where you suffered. Really try to nail down the strategies for logic games, because, although extremely annoying, they can earn you lots of points.

Day 4

Take a bunch of timed practice tests and make sure you review your correct and incorrect answers to confirm that you have achieved the right way of thinking. Say a prayer.

page ten | December 01 2009 | vol. 2 issue 10

CULTURE GROAT IN THE SACK

MOVIE REVIEWS

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

DEGREES OF SEPARATION: Matt Dillon to George Clooney [KYLE SLAVIN CONTRIBUTOR]

Like ﬁne wine, women get better with age This is Jeff Groat. He’s the Runner’s sex columnist. He has only one qualification for the job: his last name sounds like a dirty word. That’s good enough for us.

Armored – Dec. 4 Winter is when Hollywood is supposed to begin pumping out its Oscar contenders. Last year it was Slumdog Millionaire and Benjamin Button, this year we get Twilight and Armored. They both look like complete wastes of time. Armored seems to be following the plot of S.W.A.T. mixed with Reservoir Dogs. Laurence Fishburne, Matt Dillon and Jean Reno, all men who have received Oscar nods in the past, star in what looks to be a bore of a film.

Bobby I really enjoyed Bobby. I didn’t know much about the story or about the events that took place at the Ambassador Hotel, but Emilio Estevez did a great job chronicling them (as both writer and director). The ensemble cast features a number of big names: Laurence Fishburne, Anthony Hopkins, Helen Hunt, William H. Macy, Lindsay Lohan, Ashton Kutcher, Shia LaBeouf and Heather Graham. Who knew coach Gordon Bombay could make something so profound that had nothing to do with the Flying V.

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me As a 12-year-old there was nothing funnier than Austin Powers. And then the sequel came out and it included Mike Myers playing a fat Scottish guy. I rewatched the movie earlier this year, it’s definitely not as hilarious as I recall. That said, 10 years later and the film holds up pretty well. There are some smart jokes, and the introductions of Verne Troyer and Heather Graham into the cast helped make it seem a lot fresher than the first film.

Inglourious Basterds I have to say that Tarantino sure knows what he’s doing. Basterds was his baby – he kept it on the backburner for almost a decade waiting for the right casting for Hans Landa, played by Christoph Waltz, who is a shoo-in for a Supporting Actor Oscar this year. He is quite possibly the best character Tarantino’s created, and he complimented Brad Pitt’s Aldo Raine. A great supporting cast including Eli Roth, Melanie Laurent, Daniel Brühl, Diane Krüger, B.J. Novak and Mike Myers rounded out the story.

Ocean’s series Ocean’s 11 is such an enjoyable movie to watch. I’ve seen it dozens of times and I don’t expect I’ll ever tire of it. Ocean’s 12, don’t even bother. The script was initially an entirely different film, but it was rewritten to adapt to the Ocean’s parameters. What a mistake that was – such a bore. Thirteen returned the group to Vegas and was definitely better than the former. The powerhouse ensemble of Clooney, Pitt and Damon just screams Hollywood success, and together, it’s definitely a worthy series.

Up in the Air – Dec. 4 Jason Reitman is changing the face of film as we know it today. He’s been able to make commercially successful indietype films that draw big name stars and become cult favourites, in the same way that the Cohen brothers do, except Reitman has a much wider audience. Up in the Air looks like a really great film about a man, George Clooney, who travels the world firing people. It’s a pretty simple concept, but by the looks of it, there’s a whole world of emotional depth that Reitman dives in to that is unusual for a film like this.

[JEFF GROAT] [ENTERTAINMENT BUREAU CHIEF]

Maybe it was the Bowmore cask-strength flowing through my bloodstream, giving me a rosier memory of events, but this past Friday night I had the luck to carry on a conversation with a lovely woman five years my senior. I say luck because instead of awkwardly stuttering or mumbling about the room’s ambiance or something else that lamely attempts to keep up anything resembling a conversation, I managed to piece together a work of art, a masterpiece—and I have the phone number to prove it. After going out to a scotch and beer tasting, I met her later having drinks at another establishment. She being part of a random bump-into group of friends of friends of friends. Things happened. Sparks flew. And, I’m not one to gloat about my personal life, especially when it is filled with depressing themes of overt rejection. The fact that my repeated calls and messages have since gone unanswered, sometimes conspicuously disconnecting after a few rings is beside the point, but it left me wondering about the possibilities and the overall ramifications of these types of relationships. What would it mean for me, 24, to be seeing a woman, 29? How does society feel about relationships between an older woman and a younger man? Now, on paper, five years is not all that much, especially standing next to the Hollywoodism of Demi Moore’s and Ashton Kutcher’s 15-year gap. Sure she’s in her 40s, but she looks like she’s his age. But if you ask me, it’s bullshit that “normal” is just the opposite in our non-celebrity life-

SUE BEDFORD (EXCAL)

styles, that the age-gap can, and usually does, go one way and not cause a stir, but in cases like theirs, the age difference draws the ire of Harper voters and Bill O’Reilly alike. Now, there are obvious benefits to dating a woman close to, or in her 30s (the sex, I’m talking about the sex), but what else could there be? Sure guys, she may get those lines and, I daresay, wrinkles a little earlier than you, but she sure is way cooler and easier to relate to than a lot of girls five years in the opposite direction. Plus you are way less likely to end up in jail, accidentally or otherwise. Nineteen (“Are you really 19?”) as opposed to 29 is a world of difference. And girls, think about how nice the misunderstood, aspiring artist is, how utterly cute he can be when you talk to him and he actually listens—saying nothing of the now equally matched sex-drives. Take, for example, me. I have good breath, I’m smart and I’m hilarious. So why won’t you return my phone calls, you fucking bitch? Anyway, I’m sure society will judge you women as being cougars or cradle-robbers—they always judge—but that doesn’t make them right in any way, shape or form Maybe the scorn levelled at you will put things in perspective, that other people have such unfulfilling relationships that they have nothing better to do than impose their views on the world. And guys, expect to be held in reverence by your peers as they constantly ask you questions, “what’s it like? Does she have any hot friends?” I’ll remember to ask myself that next time. e-mail questions: culture@runnerrag.ca

PROCRASTINATION

www.runnerrag.ca | The Runner

vol. 2 issue 10 | December 01 2009 | page eleven

LOW FIDELITY - DENISE ALLARD (EXCALIBUR/YORK UNIVERSITY)

HOROSCOPE CAPRICORN Dec. 22 - Jan.19

You’ll be offered some pretty sketchy looking roast chicken this week. Eat it. Eat every last bite of it.

AQUARIUS Sept. 23 - Oct. 22

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22 - Dec. 21 Don’t get involved with people who rinse their dishes before they put them in the dishwasher.

Your knowledge of tight-rope walking and bear handling will most definitely get you into the circus.

PISCES Feb. 19 - Mar. 20

Before you take that trip across the country, ask yourself if canoe expedition is really the way to go.

ARIES Mar. 21 - Apr.19

Stop longing for that piece of sixweek-old cake. It’s rock hard and mold is starting to grow on it.

TAURUS Apr. 20 - May 20

You are in the driver’s seat and your passengers are telling you to pull over for a quick meal.

GEMINI May 21 - June 20

If you want people to trust you, you will need to buy a brand new jacket every seventeen days.

CANCER June 21 - July 22

You are the only person in the world that can stop climate change. You and all the other cancers.

LEO July 23 - Aug. 22

LIBRA Sept. 23 - Oct. 22

A good way to make yourself happy is to eat more grilled cheese sandwiches and wear more nylon.

If you lose your wallet any time soon take it as a blessing. Also, suspect your uncle is the thief.

VIRGO Aug. 23 - Sept. 22

SCORPIO

Oct. 23 - Nov. 21

Wear only clothes that were made in Indonesia. Wash your dishes with sponges made in Romania.

It’s very likely that you are walking too slowly. Buy some sneakers, drink a juice and start sprinting.

Beef doesn’t come from eagles!

AVIXYZ/FLICKR

BUILDING SPINS 360 DEGREES?

So there’s a new burger at the Grassroots Cafe on Surrey campus! It’s called the ‘Eagle beef burger’ but when’s the last time you had eagle beef? Don’t remember? Maybe it’s because beef comes from cows! Eagle meat would just be called eagle (think chicken, or turkey). Somebody obviously got their wires crossed on this one. But whatever the meat is, the actual burger isn’t that bad. Have at it! *note* This was a slow week.

A company in Brazil (Suite Vollard) constructed a building in which each floor can rotate 360 degrees. Each building has 11 apartments and each apartment can spin individually in any direction. One rotation takes a full hour, but apartment owner can set rotation speed through apartment control panel. Facades are made of three different types of glass which give wonderful effects when building spins during the sunset. Cost of each apartment is $US 300,000.00.

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

Kwantlen University Room 1320, Main Floor, 8771 Lansdowne Road, Richmond BC yogi@blossominglotusstudio.com www.BlossomingLotusStudio.com

uc ed

P ri ce

KWANTLEN STUDENT ASSOCIATION

Yoga at Kwantlen University We offer on-campus yoga four days a week, so you have no excuse to skip this class! Inspired by Anusara Yoga, each class is founded on knowledge of Physiology, Philosophy and History.

Kwantlen Student Association

page twelve | December 01 2009 | vol. 2 issue 10

Rates SHIP Health and Dental Plan Members $4 Drop-in, $35 10-Class Card Students $5 Drop-in, $45 10-Class Card Public $6 Drop-in, $55 10-Class Card Coming in November... Semester Passes effective January 2010 to April 2010

Free Gift Receive a complimentary Blossoming Lotus Studio hemp tote with the purchase of a 10-class card. While supplies last.

Experience... Pure Existence, Pure Consciousness, Pure Bliss.